Empowering Writers Month 6

Transcription

Month 6 - TEST PREP - WRITING TEST PREPARATION
The Essential Guide to Grade 4 Writing: Month 6 | ©2013 Empowering Writers
Student Page
Name: _______________________________________
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The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Student Reference Sheet
Narrative Writing Rubric
°6WLOO+DVD:D\WR*R Shopping list. Too short. Hard to understand. Not enough
details and interesting words.
°6WLOO1HHGV:RUN It has a little bit of detail, but mostly general details like nice, good,
red, blue, very, etc. It has an okay beginning, middle and end. Lacks a single entertaining
MAIN EVENT! Does not include the main character’s feelings or reactions. Needs more
elaboration to make it interesting.
°*RRG Has a beginning, middle end, organized. Has some specific elaborative details and
remains focused on the important events. Needs more elaboration to make it interesting.
Although there is a single main event, the piece lacks a balance of action, description, and
dialogue for a significant, single, and entertaining main event. Does not include enough of
the main character’s feelings or reactions. Includes evidence of most parts of the writing
diamond.
° )DQWDVWLF :RZ Has a strong beginning, middle and end. It is interesting and
entertaining. Stays focused on the important events. There is clear evidence of every
section of the writing diamond and lots of great description. Author uses interesting words,
vivid vocabulary and sentence variety. There is a mixture of action, description, feelings
and dialogue. This story is smooth and easy to read.
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4 Writing:
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Anchor Set
Score point 2
(Untitled)
Woosh! went the winter wind. It was a snow day and there was no school. I decided
to go outside and play in the snow. It was really cold out there and there was lots of snow
and ice everywhere. I called my friends Brendan, Paul, Jack and Sam. We would do fun
stuff in the storm. We were all dressed warm with our hats and scarves and boots.
First we got our sleds and tubes and went down the Academy Hill. “Faster!” I yelled.
We wiped out a few times but kept going. Then we made a fort against Sam’s garage
and had a big snowball fight. We ambushed a bunch of girls from the other school and
they were screaming like crazy. Ha! We tried to make a snowman but the snow was too
soft. Oh well. The snow angels didn’t last either cause the snow just blew around too
much.
By then we were all wet and freezing cold. We went in and dried off and ate lunch. My
mother put our clothes in the dryer and they came out nice and warm. When we warmed
up we got dressed and went out and did it all again. It was weird that the pond wasn’t
frozen cause we wanted to go skating. But it was still a really fun day.
I still remember all the fun we had! Because there was no school and it was snowing!
I hope it snows again tomorrow. And the next day too!
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The Essential Guide to Grade 4 Writing: Month 6
| ©2013 Empowering Writers
Anchor Set
The Hike
Score point 3
“Okay, is everyone ready?” asked our hike leader.
“Yes!” the thirteen of us replied. I was at a 2 week sleep away camp with my friend Jake. The
camp was on Lake George so there were plenty of mountains and paths to hike up and down.
Everyone had heavy backpacks carrying supplies you’d need -food, water, clothes, tents, and
much more.
Soon enough we started heading into the woods. We could barely see the trail through the
thick woods. Small waves were breaking on the lake on our left and trees surrounded us on our
right. When we reached our first resting point we stopped and looked around. It was early, about
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It was an amazing sight, but nothing compared to what we would see later.
We lugged our 25 pound packs up the hill. We struggled and dragged our feet trying to get
to our destination ¬a huge boulder in a big clearing. From that boulder you could see everything
for miles around. I couldn’t wait to see it!
Eventually we came over the final hill. “We made it!” I screamed. I ran the final steps of the
way as fast as I could, huffing and puffing. Every step felt like my last. My legs could give way
any second. The big gray boulder was in full view! The last steps seemed like they took forever.
I finally got there, dropped my backpack and collapsed on the ground. My heart was pounding.
I was all sweaty. When I had the strength to get up on the boulder (it was pretty hard) I looked
out over the lake. My mouth dropped open and my eyes could hardly take it all in. It was great,
trees and water as far as anyone could see, the islands on the far left, mountains past the
islands, and of course motor and sailing boats going across the water. It was about noon and
the sun was directly above us which made the lake look even better. All I could really think of
saying was, “Wow!” It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen. Camp was already worth it!
The weird part was, this was just the first few hours of our hike! Imagine what the rest of the
hiking trip was like!
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Anchor Set
The Contest
Score point 4
I felt like I was in an oven as I ran across the cold, wet sand to the water. It was
summer me and my cousins were at Hingham Harbor having a blast at the beach.
Seagulls circled in the clear blue sky. The sky blue water was crystal clear and cold. Small
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feet and barnacles brushed my ankles. We dived like dolphins into the water again and
again until we were tuckered out and had to take a rest. When we were warm and dry my
cousin said, “Let’s have a sandcastle building contest”. It would be the boys against the
girls. There were more girls, but the boys had their older cousin who was a pro at making
sandcastles.
The girls’ team ran to the house for a collection of buckets and pails. We raided the
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molds for our castle! We took along some shovels and spoons, scoped out a great spot
where the sand was damp and got to work.
We could see the boys on the other end of the beach, but we didn’t pay any
attention to them - at least not much. Starting with the biggest buckets, we made the
main castle buildings. The smaller bowls made the fancy roof and side rooms.
“Okay,” I called, “It’s time to decorate!” We found pretty shells with rough edges.
Others were smooth and white as silk. They looked beautiful in a pattern around the
castle walls, glistening in the sunshine. Whoosh, went the sound of the waves, and that
gave us the idea to build a moat around it. “Everybody dig!” I shouted. Soon the moat
(continued)
273
Anchor Set
surrounded the castle grounds. In the back we carved out a swimming pool. We had
to keep filling it up so it wouldn’t go dry. This was hard work. I felt sweat trickle down
my back. Every so often we’d splash ourselves in the water to cool down so we could
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an idea! Landscaping! I pulled the slippery stuff out of the water and we pulled it apart
into make¬ believe bushes. We “planted” them all around the moat. The finishing touch
was a starfish that we stuck on the top of the highest tower. My heart beat fast as I
gazed on our masterpiece! A smile crept across my face.
When we couldn’t take the heat anymore we called our parents. The judging would
begin!
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They walked slowly around each castle, observing carefully. They whispered to each
other and I clasped my hands together I could hardly wait.
Uncle Mark finally clapped his hands. He had a decision. “We can’t decide,” he said.
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$XQW.DWK\FDPHRXWZLWKDWUD\RILFHFUHDPVDQGZLFKHV:HDOOJUDEEHGRQHDQG
bit in. “Ummmm....” was all you could hear as we wiped the sweet cold ice cream from our
mouths.
The contest was over. It was getting late. The water was creeping up the shore and
would soon wash our masterpiece away. Still, I’d never forget our amazing creation.
And, even though the aunts and uncles wanted to be fair, we all know who really won the
contest! It was the girls, hands down!
274
Main Event
Name:
Here is a MAIN EVENT that is mostly a summary – a list of actions:
My boat went down the rapids and then I lost my oar. After that I grabbed onto a branch and then I
pulled myself out and didn’t go over the waterfall!
A fully elaborated MAIN EVENT should include slow motion ACTION, DESCRIPTION (of a character,
object or setting) and the main character’s FEELINGS and REACTIONS, and DIALOGUE and
EXCLAMATIONS.
The sound of my scream was lost in the thunderous crashing of the rapids. Icy cold water
slammed against my face and soaked my clothes. My frozen hands and arms felt numb with cold and
paralyzed by fear. I knew what was ahead. I knew it meant certain death. No one could survive going
over the falls in a small wooden boat. Still, I couldn’t give up. I stared at the gray water. The waves
were at least five feet high. The angry water was caped in white foam and each wave exploded over the
boat, swirling over my feet. Huge, menacing black rocks like dinosaurs jutted out along the riverbank.
Suddenly an exceptionally high wave grabbed at my oar and wrenched it from my hands. I watched
helplessly as it bobbed out of sight. I grasped the edge of the boat and closed my eyes. “Please, please,
don’t let me die,” I begged.
That’s when I felt it. BOOM! The boat tilted down at a crazy angle and began hurtling over the
falls like a rocket ship. I gritted my teeth, preparing to crash. “HELP!” I screamed, although I knew there
was no way anyone could help me. Some instinct told me to reach out my arms, and without thinking
I did. I flailed my arms out and grasped. The rough bark under my fingers felt like a miracle or like the
hands of an angel. I held on to the stubby pine with all my might and yanked myself out of the water.
My muscles quivered with the effort. Slowly, painfully, I yanked myself out of the churning water and on
to the bank. My heart pounded and my chest heaved with the effort.
I had made it! I had actually survived at trip over the falls!
Do you see how much more entertaining this FULLY ELABORATED MAIN EVENT is than the summary?
Read it again and color-code the following elements:
ACTION: red
DESCRIPTION: blue
THOUGHTS/FEELINGS: orange
EXCLAMATIONS: yellow
SOUNDS: green
SP3
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Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Prompt Analysis
Name:
Read this prompt and determine if it is an imaginative/fantasy narrative or personal experience
narrative. Then analyze each prompt for the givens and variables.
1) 7KLQNDERXWEHLQJDWWKHEHDFK:ULWHDVWRU\DERXWVRPHWKLQJ\RXGLGZKLOHDWWKH
beach.
Type of narrative: Imaginative/fantasy or personal
experience
Think about the givens and variables and keep those in
mind as you plan.
Use the following framework to plan your story:
This story is about _______________________. The adventure, experience or problem is that
___________________________________________________________________.
The adventure or experience concluded/problem solved when ____________________________
____________________________________________________________________________
List at least two segments of elaborative detail you would include.
_________________________________
SP4
____________________________________
(continued)
1 | ©2013
©2012 Empowering Writers
Prompt Analysis
Name:
2) <RXKDYHLQYHQWHGDVXSHUGXSHUYHKLFOHWKDWKDVQHYHUEHHQLQYHQWHGEHIRUH:ULWHD
story about your vehicle, telling where you go, and what happens during your travels.
Type of narrative: Imaginative/fantasy or personal
experience
Think about the givens and variables and keep
those in mind as you plan.
___________________________________________________________________.
____________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________
SP5
____________________________________
(continued)
The
The Essential
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Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Prompt Analysis
Name:
3) :KLOHRQDSLFQLFLQWKHZRRGV\RXPHHWDJLDQW:ULWHDVWRU\DERXW\RXUDGYHQWXUH
with the giant.
Type of narrative: Imaginative/fantasy or personal experience
Think about the givens and variables and keep those in mind as
you plan.
___________________________________________________________________.
____________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________
SP6
____________________________________
(continued)
1 | ©2013
Prompt Analysis
Name:
4) 3OD\LQJRXWVLGHFDQEHORWVRIIXQ7KLQNDERXWDWLPHZKHQ\RXKDGDQH[SHULHQFH
SOD\LQJRXWVLGH:ULWHDVWRU\DERXWLW
you plan.
___________________________________________________________________.
____________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________
____________________________________
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Writing: Month
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Writers
Practice Prompt
Name:
Imagine that you are exploring outdoors and find yourself in a very dangerous
situation! Write a story about your adventure.
<28:,//+$9(0,187(6723/$1
you plan.
This story is about ________________. The adventure, experience or problem is that
______________________________________________________________________.
The adventure or experience concluded/problem solved when
______________________________________________________________________.
__________________________________
____________________________
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1 | ©2013
Narrative Revision Strategies

Find a place in the story where the main character has a strong FEELING or EMOTION. (Afraid,
sad, angry, shocked, delighted) Use a caret ( ^ ) to insert words that SHOW that feeling.

Use a caret ( ^ ) to insert something your character is wondering or worrying about. This
builds suspense!

Insert a sound effect. This makes the story more entertaining to the reader.

Find each story critical character, setting and object and be sure you’ve written a segment of
elaborative detail that DESCRIBES it. Use good sentence variety and vivid words!

Replace boring verbs with vivid, active verbs.
Ex. Instead of: “I went down the path.” “I trudged down the path.”
“I had a handful of popcorn.” “I gobbled a handful of popcorn.”
“Get out!” I said. “Get out!” I hollered.

Be on the lookout for overly general adjectives such as: cool,
nice, fun, awesome, pretty. In their place, write some specific
description that shows rather than tells. (In place of: “She
wore a pretty dress.” try, “She wore a dress covered in lace,
the color of a sunset.”
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5 | ©2013
Main Event
Name:
Read this summary of a main event. It rushes through the most important part of the
story way too quickly! It is BORING!
I planted the most beautiful garden. I thought about how the flowers
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ZDWHUHGWKHPDQGVDWEDFNDQGORRNHGDWKRZQLFHLWORRNHG
REVISE this by writing a fully elaborated main event. Include a balance of:
Slow motion action.
S-T-R-E-T-C-H-I-T-O-U-T!
Include an exclamation.
Show how the main character is feeling.
Include what you saw, heard, felt and smelled.
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP10
1 | ©2013
Revising Boring Story Beginnings
Name:
Read this story beginning. It is BORING!
This story is about when I went camping in the forest.
REVISE this story beginning. Use one of the following techniques to make this beginning
entertaining!
ACTION (Put the character in the setting doing something! Ask: What would
you do?)
A SOUND (Ask: What might you hear in the forest?
DIALOGUE or an EXCLAMATION (Ask: What might you exclaim?)
7+28*+76RU48(67,216$VNZKDWPLJKW\RXZRQGHURUZRUU\"
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP11
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Showing Rather Than Telling
Name:
Read this short description. It is general. It tells but doesn’t SHOW. It does not include
any specific details. It is BORING!
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Revise this by writing a vivid description. Write it so that the reader can actually see the
room through your eyes! Do not include action that moves the story forward. Instead,
freeze the moment and observe, using the 5 senses!
BE SURE TO TELL:
What was in Peter’s room that made it messy? (Not a grocery list! Put each
detail in a separate sentence.)
What might you FEEL and SMELL in a messy room?
SHOW how you felt about what you saw!
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP12
1 | ©2013
What Feelings Look Like - Elaborative Detail
Name:
Read this short description of how the character feels. It is general. It does not include
any specific details. It is BORING!
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Revise this by writing several sentences showing the reader how the character feels, rather
than just telling. Think about what “scared” looks like. Write it so that the reader can
actually see it through your eyes. Do not include action that moves the story forward.
BE SURE TO TELL:
Describe your facial expression.
Describe your body language.
How were you feeling on the inside?
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
___
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Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
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Writers
Building Suspense
Name:
Read this sentence. It gives away an exciting part of the story way too soon! There is no
suspense to catch the reader’s attention! It is BORING!
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Revise this by writing several suspenseful sentences! Use story questions or word
referents. Tease the reader by describing and providing hints without revealing the dog
until the end!
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Revelation: I came face to face with a vicious dog!
SP14
1 | ©2013
Extended Story Endings
Name:
Read this story ending! It is abrupt and boring.
So that was the ending of my roller coaster ride. THE END
Revise it by using a combination of the following techniques.
A memory.
A feeling.
A wish or hope.
A decision.
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP15
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Student Page
Name:
The Expository/Informative Pillar
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Student Page
Name:
Effective and Ineffective: Summarizing Frameworks
Compare each set of organizational plans below. Label compare/contrast plans CC.
Label “How-to” plans HT. Circle the plan in each pair that will produce the more effective
piece of writing. Be ready to discuss why one plan is more effective than the other!
1A) TOPIC: Sail Boats and Motor Boats
1B) TOPIC: Sail Boats and Motor Boats
MAIN IDEA #1: Speed
MAIN IDEA #1: All about sail boats
MAIN IDEA #2: Cost
MAIN IDEA #2: All about motor boats
MAIN IDEA #3: Operation
MAIN IDEA #3: Similarities between them
2A) TOPIC: Baking Brownies
2B) TOPIC: Baking Brownies
MAIN IDEA #1: Ingredients
MAIN IDEA #1: What to do first
MAIN IDEA #2: Preparation
MAIN IDEA #2: What to do next
MAIN IDEA #3: Serving and eating
MAIN IDEA #3: What to do last
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(continued)
1 | ©2013
Student Page
3A) TOPIC: Going Sledding
3B) TOPIC: Going Sledding
MAIN IDEA #1: First things
MAIN IDEA #1: Dressing properly
MAIN IDEA #2: Next things
MAIN IDEA #2: Selecting a sledding spot
MAIN IDEA #3: Finishing up
MAIN IDEA #3: Sledding technique
4A) TOPIC: Playing Indoors or Out
4B) TOPIC: Playing Indoors or Out
MAIN IDEA #1: Stuff to do inside
MAIN IDEA #1: Playing alone
MAIN IDEA #2: Stuff to do outside
MAIN IDEA #2: Playing with others
MAIN IDEA #3: Stuff to do in or outside
MAIN IDEA #3: Learning games
MAIN IDEA #4: Playing for exercise
5A) TOPIC: Doing Well in School
5B) TOPIC: Doing Well in School
MAIN IDEA #1: School supplies
MAIN IDEA #1: What to do before school
MAIN IDEA #2: Study skills
MAIN IDEA #2: What to do during the
school day
MAIN IDEA #3: Attitude
MAIN IDEA #3: What to do after school
SP18
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Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
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Writers
Expository/Informative Writing Rubric
°6WLOO+DVD:D\WR*R Some paragraphing but main idea sentences missing or unsupported.
This piece has little if any organization. Details are general (ex. nice, cool, fun). Weak sentence
variety and word choice. Usually missing an introduction and/or conclusion. A collection of
disorganized facts.
°$OPRVW7KHUH Has an introduction. The lead is weak, topic sentence is very general. There is
some evidence of organization. Any number of well developed paragraphs in the body. Main idea
sentences may be broad, overly general and overlapping, or too narrow. Mostly general details.
Few adjectives and interesting words. Has a conclusion in which the main ideas are restated in a
redundant or general way.
° *RRG Has a good organizational plan: a functional introduction with a lead and a topic
sentence, any number of well developed paragraphs in the body, and an okay conclusion that
restates the main ideas. Each paragraph has a broad yet distinct main idea. A mix of general
and specific details. Uses at least some interesting words. Evidence of use of detail generating
questions - “What does it look like?” “Why is it important?” Main ideas restated in conclusion.
° )DQWDVWLF :RZ Has strong organization: a terrific lead, clear topic sentence, well
developed paragraphs, each with a broad yet distinct main idea and plenty of specific, powerful
supporting details. Uses detail generating questions as well as descriptive segments, anecdotes,
specific examples to back up statements, perhaps even quotes, statistics, and amazing facts.
Demonstrates excellent word choice and sentence variety, making it smooth and interesting to
read. Conclusion creatively restates the main ideas.
SP19
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Writers
Anchor Set
Anchor Set – Score Point 1:
My Grandmother
Do you have a grandmother that you love a lot? I do. My grandmother is pretty old. She lives in
Florida cause she hates the winter. That’s bad cause she’s far away and I don’t see her all the time but
it’s good cause we get to go to Disney.
She makes real good cookies, cakes, brownies, spaghetti, and other good foods. My grandpa
died a long time ago, so I don’t even remember him. When it’s my birthday she sends me a card with a
lot of money in it. I usually buy something then I send her a thank you note or call her up if it’s at night.
At her house there is a pool in the back of the house where we do lots of fun stuff. She is really so nice,
my grandmother, and I miss her a lot.
I wish she wasn’t so far away cause I could see her more and that would be good. She looks a
lot like my mom but way older with wrinkles and stuff. But I love her a lot and miss her. She is nice to
me and that is why I love her and miss her.
My Mom Debbie
My mom is a wonderful person. She does a lot for me. Is your mom like that? I admire my mom
because she does a lot for me, she’s nice, and because she’s smart.
I admire my mom for a lot of different reasons. My mom is kind. She’s kind because I get toys
from her and she’s grand. She’s also thoughtful. She’s thoughtful because she thinks of me and buys me
stuff like gifts. And she doesn’t let me down. She’s a wonderful person to have as a mom. So wonderful
I can’t explain how wonderful she is. She’s the kind of person that could help you when you need help. I
admire that.
My mom has done a lot of wonderful things for me. One thing she did was buy my violin. Now
that’s expensive to buy. I couldn’t rent one so I had to buy it. If you think a violin is expensive then how
much do you think a huge keyboard might cost? Now I would say that’s much more than a violin. Camp
costs so much I can’t even pay for it but she sent me to camp. She also got me toys. They’re nice toys,
too. What she mostly gets me are toys like Beanie Babies and others
My mom is real smart. She knows a lot of stuff, all kinds of things. She has a job that is hard, but
she does it and she’s good at it even though her boss is mean. She knows about which vitamins to take,
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So, now you know how wonderful my mother is.
(continued)
289
Anchor Set
My Brother
“Owwww!” That’s usually the sound you’ll hear when my brother’s “beating me up”. He beats
me up but doesn’t really hurt me. It’s his way of teasing. Even so, I admire him very much. He has
many talents that I admire, he does things for me, and there’s a lot I can learn from him.
I admire my brother in many ways. I’m amazed at how good he is at video games, like XBOX,
Game Cube, and others. Danny is a good snowboarder too. He’s fast and can handle the advanced
slope. He goes over steep moguls and jumps in a f lash. I wish I was as good. Did I mention that he
plays tennis? He has a mean serve and backhand. By the way, he is a master of computer games like
Super Smash Brothers and MVP Baseball.
My brother Danny has done many things for me. Sometimes he helps me with my homework
if I get stuck, like with my weekly challenge word spelling list. Without his help I wouldn’t have gotten
a B+. He taught me to play video games and that’s when I started to enjoy them. I’m a much better
MVP Baseball player thanks to Danny. He also showed me how to be really good at hiding out in
different places. I never would have thought of crawling into the space under the cellar stairs or into the
dark, musty corner of the barn. That makes me the neighborhood hide and seek champion!
I’m hoping to learn many more things from my brother. I’d like to learn how he gets so much
money in such a short time. He always has a bunch of dollar bills stuffed in his pocket and a lot of
change that he jingles around. If I had that kind of money I’d buy a new computer game! I wonder
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and undefeatable Super Smash Brothers player. Also, I’ve always wanted to figure out how he avoids
getting into fights with my mom. I’d like to know how he charms her with his sparkling smile.
Like I said before, I’ll love him always, (unless he does something awful to me.) Now you know
why I admire him, all the things he does for me and what I still want to learn from him. So now you
know who my special person is. I hope you know a special person like Danny!
290
(continued)
The Essential Guide to Grade 4 Writing: Month 6 | ©2013 Empowering Writers
Anchor Set
Carol Evans Clark
All of us have people in our lives that we love, respect, and admire – a cherished parent, family
member, or friend that has changed our lives and has pointed us in the right direction. For me that person
is my mother. Her sensitivity and willingness to teach me new things help make our relationship special.
There are tons of sensational things that I admire about my mother, but her sensitivity is what
makes her most special. She is a wonderful person to talk to and is an excellent listener. I remember
the time when I came home from school crying because one of the kids called me stupid when I didn’t
get the math we were doing. My mom was so understanding. We sat down together and worked at
those fractions and ratios until I got it. She is very respectful of your feelings. Just last week my friend
.DWLHZDVXSVHWZLWKKHUVRFFHUFRDFK0\PRPOHW.DWLHWHOOKHUWKHZKROHVWRU\DQGRIIHUHGKHUVRPH
DGYLFH,WZDVQµWORQJEHIRUH.DWLHµVIURZQPHOWHGLQWRDUHOLHYHGVPLOH$QGPH":KDW,IHOWZDVSURXG
-proud to have a mom that even my friends can talk to!
My mother and I have an exhilarating relationship, doing things together. We shop ’til we drop,
take bike rides near the shore, or catch a movie together. Through it all, the two of us laugh and cry,
just like the best of friends. My next door neighbor, Mrs. Holberg always says, “Yeah, that girl and her
mother are always laughing together on the way to somewhere or other!” If Mom has to go to Barnes
and Noble, for example, and I want to have a playdate, she will often change her plans and let me call
P\IULHQGEXWWKHUHLVDOLPLW,WU\WRSXWKHU¾UVWVRPHWLPHVWRRVRLWµVDOOIDLUDQGVTXDUH
Even after all the things my mom has done for me there are still plenty of things I’d like to
learn from her. Gardening is one of them. When my mom’s mom was alive she’d always be out in the
garden teaching my mom. Now, my mom is teaching me! I can prune a rosebush, and plant crocus and
daffodil bulbs just deep enough to bloom perfectly! My mom also learned cooking from her mom and
now she shows me how to do it and lets me try. You should taste my creamy delicious fettuccini alfredo
topped with grated Parmesan cheese and fresh parsley! Ummm…ummmm good! My mom also went
to school for art and photography and during the summers we have art contests together. She shows
me how I can improve and now I’m almost as good as she is! Art, gardening, and cooking are just some
of the things I hope to continue to learn from my mom. Maybe I’ll even pass them on to a daughter
some day!
So, all of us have relationships with people we love and respect, special people who point us in
the right direction, who are sensitive to our needs and who share their talents with us. Who is it in my
life that does all that and more? That special person is my mother, Carol Evans Clark.
291
Prompt Analysis
Name:
1) Most people find animals fascinating. Think about an animal that interests you.
Write a piece describing your animal, its habitat, and its behavior.
TOPIC: _____________________________________
MAIN IDEAS:
1) ___________________________
___________________________________
2) ___________________________
___________________________________
3) ___________________________
___________________________________
(Add as many main ideas as necessary.)
2) Imagine the perfect birthday party. Write a piece that tells all about
the perfect party.
TOPIC: _____________________________________
MAIN IDEAS:
1) ___________________________
___________________________________
2) ___________________________
___________________________________
3) ___________________________
___________________________________
SP20
(continued)
1 | ©2013
Prompt Analysis
3) Do you have a favorite restaurant? It might be a fancy place,
or simple a fast food restaurant. Write a piece giving information
about your favorite restaurant.
TOPIC: _____________________________________
MAIN IDEAS:
1) ___________________________
___________________________________
2) ___________________________
___________________________________
3) ___________________________
___________________________________
SP21
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Name:
6+2:'21µ77(//
DETAIL GENERATING QUESTIONS:
:KDWGRHVWKDW²ORRN³OLNH"
'HVFULEHXVLQJWKH¾YHVHQVHV
:K\LVWKDWLPSRUWDQW"([SODLQ
&DQ\RXJLYHD63(&,),&H[DPSOH"
(Replace general words such as: stuff, things, and much more)
,VHDFKGHWDLOLQD6(3$5$7(VHQWHQFH"
SP22
1 | ©2013
Paragraphs for Revision
Name:
Read each paragraph. Notice that these paragraphs do not include enough specific supporting
details to make them effective. On another paper, REVISE each paragraph by asking and answering
WKH'(7$,/*(1(5$7,1*48(67,2165HPHPEHUWRXVHJRRGVHQWHQFHYDULHW\,QFOXGHVRPHYLYLG
adjectives to bring the writing to life!
1) Art class is a great place to be creative. There is a lot of cool stuff to use to make
things. There’s paint, crayons, construction paper, clay, and much, much more. You
can make a project that shows your mood. Colors and different things to glue can
help you do that. The teacher shows you how to do awesome stuff there.
$6.:KDWGRHVWKDWORRNOLNH"
:K\LVWKDWLPSRUWDQW"
,VHDFKGHWDLOLQDVHSDUDWHVHQWHQFH"
&DQ\RXJLYHDVSHFL¾FH[DPSOHRIWKDW"
2) $QLFHFUHDPVXQGDHZLWKDOOWKHWRSSLQJVLVWHUUL¾FGHVVHUW. You start with
whatever flavor ice cream you like. You could even mix flavors. You put on the
topping, like chocolate or fudge and whipped cream. Then you put on the sprinkles,
nuts, and all kinds of small candies.
$6.:KDWGRHVWKDWORRNOLNH"
:K\LVWKDWLPSRUWDQW"
SP23
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
*2/'(1%5,&.6
Here is a fact the author wants to state:
It takes a lot of practice to become a concert pianist.
The author could then show this fact more powerfully by following it with a “golden brick”:
Concert pianist Monica Jenson says, “Most kids spend a good part of their childhoods
having play dates, running around outside, and playing video games. I spent every free
minute practicing the piano.” (quote)
or
For example, I hear my sister working on scales, arpeggios, etudes, and exercises every
single day! This is how she strengthens her fingers so that she can play well. (anecdote)
or
In fact, some concert pianists practice so much that they develop muscular, joint, and
nerve problems such as carpal tunnel syndrome or tendinitis. DPD]LQJIDFW
or
The young man leans over the keyboard, his shoulders hunched, fingers curved and
powerful. His wrists move gracefully as he plays the musical runs over and over and over
again until the notes seem to sparkle. (descriptive segment)
or
Thousands upon thousands of children take piano lessons, but of these perhaps
only one or two will have a career as a concert pianist. Those who have talent and
the determination to practice for as long as it takes are the ones who will “make it”.
(statistic)
SP24
1 | ©2013
Going for the Gold
Name:
Read each paragraph below. Each paragraph could be strengthened through the use of a “GOLDEN
BRICK”. Revise each paragraph by adding a specific kind of golden brick. Begin by underlining the Main
Idea. Write your “Golden Brick” as an insert on the lines provided below each paragraph.
1) Having a desk helps keep your supplies organized and handy. (*Add a descriptive
segment here that shows an organized desk.) Having all of your materials within
arm’s reach saves precious minutes that might have been spent searching through
your junk drawer or kitchen counter for scissors, paper clips, and scrap paper.
Descriptive Segment:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
2) One of the all-time favorite American desserts is ice cream. It is cold and refreshing,
and of course, it melts in your mouth! And ice cream appeals to just about everybody
because it comes in all kinds of flavors. There are old standbys like chocolate and
vanilla, and interesting new flavors such as bubble gum and cookie dough. (*Add a
statistic here about a group of people you know who love ice cream.) Whatever
the flavor, most people agree that ice cream is delicious, inexpensive, and fun to eat!
Statistic:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP25
(continued)
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Going for the Gold
3) Even when you’d rather not hear it, your parents’ advice is usually intended to keep
you healthy, happy, and safe. Let’s face it, parents have been around for a long time
and they do love us and want what’s best for us. So, as annoying as it is to hear them
nag about homework or studying, for example, we’re usually glad once we’ve done
it! (Who doesn’t enjoy getting a good grade?) (*Add a quote here that shows your
parent giving you advice of some kind.) I know they mean well and if I listen I’ll be
better off for it in the end.
4XRWH
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
4) It is really important to remember to bring your homework to school with you. Some
kids place their homework right into their backpacks as soon as it’s finished. Others
have a special folder for their homework. It doesn’t matter what your routine is, as
long as you have a system for getting your homework in on time! (*Add an anecdote
here that shows what could happen if you DON’T have a routine that helps you
remember your homework.) Getting your homework to school not only prevents
stress, but builds responsibility!
Anecdote:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP26
1 | ©2013
:+$7<285,1752'8&7,213$5$*5$3+1(('6
A LEAD:
Catch the reader’s attention with:
DQDPD]LQJRUXQXVXDOIDFW DTXHVWLRQ
DGHVFULSWLYHVHJPHQW
DVWDWLVWLF
DTXRWH DQDQHFGRWH
A TOPIC SENTENCE: Briefly, clearly, tell the reader what the piece will be about.
THE CONCLUSION PARAGRAPH: The concluding paragraph should “sum up” the
main ideas of an expository/informative piece. However, this should not be a totally
redundant restating of the main ideas.
There are a number of different techniques that can be used to creatively
restate the main ideas:
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ZRUGUHIHUHQWV
GH¾QLWLYHZRUGSKUDVHV
LQIRUPDWLYHYHUEV
UHVWDWHPHQWRIJHQHUDOWRSLFVHQWHQFH
K\SRWKHWLFDODQHFGRWH
SP27
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Analyzing Introduction and Conclusions
Name:
Analyzing Introductions and Conclusions
Read the introduction and conclusion paragraphs below. They are BORING!
INTRODUCTION:
I like watching television, don’t you? You can watch shows that make you laugh. You
can watch educational shows to learn about history, science, or art. You can watch TV to
keep up with the news in the world. I will tell you all about the reasons to watch TV.
CONCLUSION:
I hope you enjoyed reading all about the reasons to watch TV. You can laugh along
with the comedy shows, you can watch educational shows and learn all kinds of things,
and you can watch the news. So that is all about the benefits of TV. THE END
Now read the REVISED introduction and conclusion on the next page.
In the Introduction:
8QGHUOLQHWKH/($'LQUHGWKH723,&6(17(1&(LQEOXH:KDWNLQGRIOHDGZDVXVHG"
1XPEHUWKHPDLQLGHDV
In the Conclusion:
Underline the questions that reflect main ideas in black – number each one.
&LUFOHWKH'(),1,7,9(:25'253+5$6(
8QGHUOLQHWKHJHQHUDOUHVWDWHPHQWRIWKH723,&LQJUHHQ
8QGHUOLQH+<327+(7,&$/$1(&'27(6LQUHG
SP28
(continued)
1 | ©2013
Analyzing Introduction and Conclusions
Name:
INTRODUCTION:
At any given moment, millions upon millions of people around the globe are
taking part in a favorite pastime. Can you guess what it is? If you guessed that they
were watching TV, you are right! Some enjoy a half hour of side-splitting comedy
to lighten up a tough day. Others educate themselves by viewing programs about
history, art, or science. Millions of others tune in to find out the news of the day
around the world. For sure, television provides entertainment and education in many,
many ways.
CONCLUSION:
Do you feel you need a good laugh? Are you determined to learn something
new and exciting? Can you challenge yourself to stay up on the current events that
affect the world you live in? If you answered yes, reach for the remote, settle yourself
in a comfy spot on the couch, and tune in. Without a doubt, watching the best TV
has to offer can lift your mood, enrich your mind, and even improve the world you live
in! So, the next time you do some channel surfing, sit back, get ready to grow, and
enjoy TV!
SP29
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Revising Ineffective Introductions and Conclusions
Name:
Read the following ineffective introduction and conclusion. First, determine what the main ideas are that
the author needs to state. Then, REVISE the introduction and conclusion using the techniques from your
reference sheet What Your Introduction/Conclusion Paragraph Need.
Introduction:
Dogs make good pets. Do you like dogs? I will tell you what supplies you need for a
dog. Then I will tell you about bringing your dog to the vet and finally I’ll tell you about
training the dog. Read on to learn more.
Your Revision:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Conclusion:
This is the end of my report about owning a dog. You learned about the things you
need for your dog, about going to the vet, and about dog training. Maybe now you will
get a dog. THE END
Your Revision:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP30
1 | ©2013
Expository/Informative Revision Strategies
5HDGHDFKIDFWLQWKHERG\RIWKHSLHFH$VN²:KDWGRHVLWORRNOLNH":K\LVWKDW
LPSRUWDQW"” Use a caret to insert these details.
/RFDWHRYHUO\JHQHUDODGMHFWLYHVVXFKDV²QLFH³²SUHWW\³²FRRO³²DZHVRPH³DQGUHSODFH
them with VSHFL¾FGHVFULSWLYHGHWDLOV
5HSODFHJHQHUDOZRUGVZLWKVSHFL¾FH[DPSOHV and add adjectives:
Ex. Replace “Birds” with “noisy white and gray gulls”
Replace “Trees”with “towering blue-green pines”
$GGDQanecdote, quote, or descriptive segment to add some punch to your piece.
/RRNDW\RXUWRSLFZRUGDQGHDFKPDLQLGHD²EOXUE³5HSODFHWKHUHGXQGDQWXVHRI
these words with some interesting word referents.
&KHFN\RXULQWURGXFWLRQ'R\RXKDYHDVWURQJLEAD?
5HDG\RXUFRQFOXVLRQ$GGDhypothetical anecdote, a question, informative verbs,
DQGDGH¾QLWLYHZRUGRUSKUDVH
SP31
1 | ©2013
Revising Ineffective Introduction Paragraphs
Name:
Directions: Read the introduction paragraph below. Revise the LEAD using one question.
Then, write a clear, concise TOPIC SENTENCE that tells what the entire piece will be
about.
BEFORE: Vroom! I will tell you all the reasons sport cars are awesome. They are fast,
stylish, and comfortable. I love sports cars, don’t you?
AFTER: ________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Bonus: Try it again using a different type of lead.
AFTER: _______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP32
1 | ©2013
Identifying Broad Yet Distinct Main Ideas
Name:
Directions: Read each prewriting plan below. The main ideas are not distinct enough from
one another. Cross out the main idea that overlaps and write a revised story plan in the
“after” space. Then, on the lines below, translate your revised plan into 3 main idea sentences
that have good sentence variety and that are broad yet distinct from one another.
Prewriting Plan Before:
Prewriting Plan After:
TOPIC: Candy
TOPIC: Candy
MAIN IDEA #1: Many Kinds of Games
MAIN IDEA #1: _________________
MAIN IDEA #2: Chess
MAIN IDEA #2: _________________
MAIN IDEA #3: Monopoly
MAIN IDEA #3: _________________
MAIN IDEA #4: Checkers
MAIN IDEA #4: _________________
Sentence #1 ___________________________________________________________.
Sentence #2 ___________________________________________________________.
Sentence #3 ___________________________________________________________.
Sentence #4 ___________________________________________________________.
SP33
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Using Detail Generating Questions
Name:
Directions: Read the paragraph below. Cross out each weak, overly general adjective.
Then revise the paragraph by answering the following detail generating questions:
:KDWGRHVWKDWORRNOLNH"
:K\LVWKDWLPSRUWDQW"
BEFORE: Having a cold is no fun at all! You feel awful. It really stinks. You’d better have
plenty of tissues! You could have a fever. You need to really take care of yourself when
you have a cold by taking medicine. You need to take it easy. That’s the only way you’ll
feel better.
AFTER: ________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP34
1 | ©2013
More Powerful Details - “Golden Bricks”
Name:
Read each paragraph below. Then revise the paragraph by including one of the following “golden bricks”
to show the reader what you want to say in a more powerful way. (You don’t need to rewrite the entire
paragraph. Just add a caret (^) to show where your “golden brick” will go and write it on the lines below.)
4XRWH
6WDWLVWLF $QHFGRWH $PD]LQJIDFW
'HVFULSWLYH6HJPHQW
BEFORE: There are many safety rules for school playgrounds. It is important to use the
slide properly. This means going one at a time and only sliding down feet first. Playing
tag on the blacktop can be dangerous because if you fall you could hit your head or skin
your knee. When playing softball you can’t throw the bat because it could hit someone.
AFTER: ADD AN ANECDOTE______________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP35
The
The Essential
Essential Guide
Guide to
to Grade
Grade 44 Writing:
Writing: Month
Month 61 || ©2012
©2013 Empowering
Empowering Writers
Writers
Revising a Weak Conclusion
Name:
Directions: Read the conclusion below. Then revise the paragraph using a series of questions,
informative verbs, word referents, and a general restatement of your topic sentence.
BEFORE: I like picnics, don’t you? You get to be outside in nature, eat a delicious mean,
and play outdoor games. Those are the reasons that picnics are fun. Do you like picnics?
AFTER: ________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
BEFORE: Now you know how to get ready for a hurricane. You board up your windows,
have batteries and candles on hand, and stay indoors where it’s safe. So now a hurricane
won’t get the best of you! THE END
AFTER: ________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
SP36
1 | ©2013