Stargazing in the Atomic Age

Transcription

Anne
Goldman
Stargazing
in the Atomic
Age
"
I. Whatdo you care whatotherpeople think?"
When I was a girl,myfathers behaviorin the Boston suburbwherewe lived
struckme as weird.His volatilitywas embarrassing.His emotionalismwas out
ofplace. He was a Rachmaninoffcadence whereeveryoneelse playedMozart,
a medievalgargoyleperchedatop a Lutheranchurch,a mai tai in themidstof
the odorless,colorlessgin and tonicsthatwere Bostons favoritedrink.When
I grewup and moved away,I recognizedhis eccentricity
forwhatit was- the
incompleteconversionof this assimilatedJew,all quick, erraticmotion and
nervousenergy,to thephlegmaticchillofNew England.My parentsbothgrew
up in Wisconsin,but the freezeof a midwesternwinterwas balmycompared
with the frigidityof Boston manners. Where Dad worked,at the Harvard
School ofPublic Health,theatmospherewas cool as theinsideofa church- as
werethefaculty,
severalofwhom he had roomedwithat Eliot House tenyears
earlierbutneverdinedwith,sincetheuniversity's
eatingclubsin the1950swere
In
their
spacious Cambridgehouses the facultyremained
strictlysegregated.
secluded,thegracefulcurvesofhighbrickwalls separatingtheirparklikeacres
fromthejanglystreettraffic
of nearbyHarvard Square.
In thecontextofthecitysstrictcomposure,an uprightnessthathoarded
physicalenergyas if everymovementwere a waste of vital spirit,my dads
Jewishexuberance must have seemed shockinglyflamboyant.And, indeed,
he was all violentactivity:he screamedhimselfhoarse when we squabbled in
the car,darted across streetsbeforethe walk sign,rifledwildlythroughthe
stacksof papers in his officesearchingforthe sheet he had stashed in some
huffedhis waythroughcar dealerplace because itwas "important,"
forgotten
when
some
salesman
offered
statistics
thatcontradictedthemost
ships
hapless
[271]
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basic laws of physics,ate too much offthe partytrayshis Harvardcolleagues
nibbledfrom,and blew into our house at the end of the day- disheveledbut
triumphantas some Greek generalreturninghome at the end of the Trojan
War.
Ignoringmymothers demurrals,mydad typicallywore sneakerson the
several occasions each year when our familydrove into the cityto hear the
Boston SymphonyOrchestra.He commentedwithgleefulsarcasmon whatever stupiditypassed forconvention,and he took the talk of car mechanics
moreseriouslythantheabstractsofsome ofhiscolleagues,who massagedtheir
data, he felt,renderingtheirexperimentsunethicaland valueless at a stroke.
He spoofed Harvards sanctimoniousdinnerpartiesin the mock prayerwith
whichhe inauguratedfamilysuppers("Good food,good meat,good God lets
eat"). And, aggressivelycompetitive,he never missed an opportunityto let
the more socially conscious facultyof the School of Public Health know by
example thattheirinheritedfacilitywiththe intellectualelitecould not stand
up to his own uncouth,nativebrilliance.
Years later,reading Nobel prize-winner Richard Feynmans memoir,
, Mr.Feynman!" I recognizedin thisphysicistsindifference
"SurelyYou'reJoking
to social protocoland his failureto suffer
foolsgladlya "curiouscharacter"like
A physicistfriendat
mydad. Feynmantoo had a low toleranceformediocrity.
the LawrenceBerkeleyLab remembersthattheNobel winnerrefused,pointblank,to attendmeetings:theywere fineforhis colleagues,he thought,but
his own brain was too valuable to idle away in committee.This pronouncementmusthave met witha mixed reception,but it was deliveredwithFeynmans usual aplomb. The anecdote he recountedas a new graduatestudentat
Princetonmighthave been one of my fathers own. Feynmancould sniffout
pretentiousnesslike a police dog trainedto findheroin,and at Princetonhe
foundplentyofgrandiloquence.The university
was "an imitationofan English
school" complete with phony Britishaccents. The "Mahstah of Residences
. . . was a professorof Trench littrachaw'"who invitedhim to a tea party- at
which he distinguishedhimselfin his inimitableJewishway.Asked whether
he would like cream or lemon in his tea,the scientistreplied,"Til have both,
thankyou,'"at whichthestrickendeans wifecould onlymanage,"Surelyyou're
joking, Mr. Feynman."Here was Dad - exceptthathe,as all fourofus children
knew,would have asked forfivespoons of sugar,too.
I have inheritedmyfathers contemptforpieties- ceremoniesofall kinds
make me squirm. Like a teenagerincapable of suffering
in silence,I satirize
ANNE GOLDMAN
273
homilies at weddingsor funeralswithwhisperedaspersions,as ifto consent
to ritualwere to surrenderindependenceof mind. Of course thisirreverence
made fora stormychildhood,since theedictsI resistedmostweremyfathers.
hard to break. I am, afterall, my
Still,defianceof traditionis mybirthright:
fathers daughter.I have absorbed his Jewishhabits of mind. But because I
spentmyschool yearswithintheshadow oftheOld NorthChurch,I associate
observancewithNew EnglandcultureratherthanwithJewishorthodoxy.Two
hundredyearsafterthe RevolutionaryWar,the tree-linedstreetsof Concord
and Lexingtonwindin serpentinecurvespaststandsofpine and theoccasional
fieldofcornleftintactas a ruralreminderoftwocenturiesbefore.School trips
promptedus to recall "our"heritage:the smallishboulder on the edge of the
wind-sweptcoast thatwas PlymouthRock, the cotton-smockedwomen who
dipped candles and made soap fromlye in perennial re-creationof Salem's
Puritanpast. Route 126,once a dirtpath upon which Paul Reveretraveledon
his midnightride,is choked now withtraffic
fromthe burgeoningcomputer
industry.The Daughtersof the AmericanRevolutionstillorganizean annual
restagingoftheRevolutionaryWarheros call to arms.Each year,thebuglecall
would dragme fromsleep in theearlymorninghours.I woke to theharshcry
of the ridersthroughthe fieldbehind our Waylandhouse and to the rushed
clackingofhorseshoeson thetarredroad outside:a small groupofmen in the
costume of 1776 gallopingby as iftime had foldedover itselfin some quaint
history-bookillustrationof Einsteinstheory.
of its
Pietyforme is Anglo-Protestant,Bostons cholericinterpretation
Britishinheritance:Cromwells humorlessness,the starchedwhitecollars of
merchantswhose portraitshang in the colonial wing of
eighteenth-century
the Boston Fine ArtsMuseum- and the prim,moralizinggaze theirgrandchildren'sgrandchildrenturned upon my voluble familywhen our excited
conversationtroubledtheirpoliterestaurantmurmurings.To be pious was to
be dutiful,whetherin dressor at prayer,at cocktailpartiesor school functions.
Pietymeant proper conduct,formratherthan substance,the icy sang-froid
of decorum. I favoredirreverencebecause it allowed me a small rebellion
against this incurious citizenry,as parsimonious of gestureas theywere of
speech. For a people who valued social compliance above all else, gaudiness
was godlessness, brashness an unpardonable sin. Talking with your hands
was showy,vulgar,gauche. It was what myfathercalled, in the loud drawlhe
designatedas parody,"taaaacky,"theveryworditselftoo tackyforBostonians
to utter.
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274
When I watched my fatherspeak to my classmates parentson those
fewoccasions when school functionsbroughtus all together,I read in their
thecheckedbutpalpable hostilitythisconstrictedsocial world
slightstiffening
exhibitstowardthe unreserved.My fathers conversationalbrio distinguished
him as unerringlyas ifhe were wearingJosephscoat. To New England eyes,
he must have seemed honky-tonkas a neon sign blaringits advertisement
forBudweiser,a loud macaw,a blotchof scarletin the midstof theirgraceful
monochrome of silverybirches,white-paintedchurches,and wrought-iron
weathervanes tempereddustyblack.
Growingup, I detestedthisobtrusiveness.Now,livingsome threethousand miles away fromBostons Back Bay,I realize thatmyfathersexpansive
gesturingand mercurialspeech,like his cockydisregardforconvention,were
inheritedfromhis easternEuropean predecessors,themselvesviewedaskance
bytheRussians,Germans,and Poles theylivedalongside.Strongemotionhoverslikestaticelectricity
overhis head. Butso, too,does intellectualinquisitiveness,a respectforbrilliance- whetherin thefieldofautomobilemechanicsor
theoreticalphysics- and a refusalto assume thatestablishedcustomis inherentlyvirtuous.My father'simperviousnessto the glamour of the politic and
his lack of obeisance to institutionalauthorityconstitutea principlepure as
faith.Reverenceforinnovation,curiosityuntrammeledby the pietiespaid to
long-establishedtheory,and pleasurein scholarlyepiphanythatshattersintellectual traditionwithouta seconds regretdefinehis attitudetowardwork,as
theworkofJewishscientistsmoregenerally.Dad taughtus thatthe
theytypify
onlywayto arriveat new ideas is to be a maverick.Buthis intellectualirreverence is less theproductof"thescientificmethod"thanofa Jewishtraditionhe
shelvedand largely"forgot,"
or rather,
translatedintoan ostensiblynonpartisan
for
and
Rilke
as
did manyothersecularJewswho find
Freud,
Kafka,
affinity
themselveslivingin uncongenialsocial climates.Framed withinthe wake of
the World War II historythatperpetuallycautionedwhereit did not silence,
thisbrashnessis not unconscious enthusiasmbut defiance- a willfulrefusal
to prostratethe selfbeforethe unsympathetic
gaze of the intolerant.
II. ApocalypticTime
As a Rorschachtest,thecouplingof"Jews"with"modernity"
is hardlyambiguous. Out oftheinkblot,one picturehabituallyresolves:the Shoah, the second
of its century'sgenocides. Two decades afterWorld War II, the Holocaust
became the pivotpoint upon whichJewishintellectuallifeturned.It remains
ANNE GOLDMAN
275
today,more than a halfcenturylater,the hingefromwhich our sense of ourselves depends. Its wake of loss and erasureparadoxicallysolders American
Jewstogetheras a religiousand culturalcommunity.But the Holocaust has
become theblack hole ofour history,swallowingthetime-spacewithinwhich
it unfolds.Everynarrativewe produce todaymustbend and twistto accommodate thiscentralforce.If in ancienttimeswe were treatedto miraclesand
monarchs(King David, the burningbush,the plagues in Egypt,Josephspropheticdreams),the twentiethcenturybringsonlyash, quiet as snowfall.
In the past we had heroes,we had warriors,we had lovers- Solomon,
the Song of Songs,the liltof the lute and the backwardglance of the maiden.
Rebecca,Deborah, JudahMaccabee. I was raisedwithoutthesestories.Instead,
likemanyofmysecular contemporaries,I have come to know Jewishnessas a
an ethnic"knowledge"ironicallyechoingGermany'syellow
badge ofsuffering,
star.Like it or not,myiconographyis the victims,informedby photographs
ofpeople in theWarsawghettoand in thedeathcamps,throughwhose darkly
intelligenteyes we see a prescientknowledgeof theirown erasure.In some
sense the memorialswe have constructedto the dead merelystrengthenthe
pull thiscentralsadness exertsupon us. Each visitto a museum,designed to
honor our ancestors,remindsus as well of the inescapabilityof our fateas
outsiders.
Such witnessing,in those ofus temporallydistantenough to be immune
fromfear,is an upwellingofJobspride.LikeWilliamFaulkners Anse Bundren,
thepatriarchofAs I Lay Dying>we seem proudofbeingchosen forspecial misoftheplaguedunfortuery.Pale eyesgluedopen in the"pleasedastonishment"
man"- that
nate,Bundrenrepeatsa mantra- "ifeverwas such a misfortunate
could be our own. Faulkner'shumorrevealsthe particularpatterningof race
conflictas it takes shape in the AmericanSouth. The writercensuresthe way
bothblacksand whitesaccept tragedyas theirportion:dumblyunreflective
as
oxen saddled to a plow,theybend theirshouldersin assentto theirtwinFates.
Bundrenis a comical figurewhose complacencyin thefaceofhis family'sendless calamitiesis vilifiedbyFaulkner,buthis smugnessfindsan uncomfortable
parallelwithour own readinessto school ourselvesto perpetualtrauma.
Habituatedas we are to understandingthe modernperiod as allegorical
of Jewishsuffering,
we seem to thinkthatwritingabout Jewishachievement
is blasphemous. Images of what Elaine Scarrycalls "the body in pain" have
crowded out alternaterepresentationsso fullythat,come time to writethis
essayupon relationshipsbetweenJewsas victimsofwar and Jewsas engineers
THE GEORGIA REVIEW
2j6
of wars most devastatingtechnologyto date, I initiallyfound myselfhard
pressed to scratchout more than a fewsolitaryparagraphs.The unfortunate
side effectof Paul Célans brilliant,jetlikepoetryis to absorb intoitsdarkness
the happierghostsof the twentiethcenturyWe rememberthebitterironyof
his "Todesfuge":"he whistleshis Jewsinto rows has them shovel a gravein
the ground/ he commands us play up forthe dance."But all the others- the
painters,themusicians,thephilosophers,thedoctors,theengineers,thesocial
leftwithoutburial.
scientists,the physicists-are forgotten,
III. Relativities
and
Escape artistsinventedtheatom bomb. Nazis destroyedEuropean Jewry,
then the remnantsof European Jewrybecame destroyersof worlds. Here is
AlbertEinstein,with his teasingsmile and Charlie Chaplin eyes,caughtby
the camera: the Houdini of nuclearphysics.Brightlightsand fearsomeacts,
the magiciansofWorldWar II, the scientistsof the ManhattanProject,strike
a pose in Los Alamos. Thereis Hungarian-bornEdward Teller,who fledGermany,at once irascible and charming.Emilio Segrè,with his face inclined
towardearthand shadowedin his retiringway,a refugeefromItaly.The young
Otto Robert Frisch,who got out of Denmark just as the Germans invaded.
WolfgangPauli, who workedwithNiels Bohr in his Copenhagen lab and left
therebetweenthe wars. Alongsidethemare rangedthe AmericansJ.Robert
Oppenheimerand RichardFeynman,thefirstlean as a pencil,theothera fineboned Puck whose sprightly
energyis as sweetlynaughtyas thatShakespearean provocateurs. Dead men save fortheirflightout of Europe,theseoutcast
performersin New Mexico orchestratedwhatwould be the century'sbiggest
technologicalspectacle,to daze and dazzle a darkenedworld.
The Holocaust and Hiroshimaare twinicons oftheapocalypticviolence
thatinauguratesthe modern age. At the centerof both- like it or not- are
Jews.If theywere halfof the estimatedtwelvemillionconsignedto death in
Europe, Jewsconstitutedan even largerpercentageof the scientistswhose
in New Mexico would transform
efforts
two Japanesecities,likewise,intoash.
Wartimechronicling,likeHolocaust memorializing,is frequently
paintedas a
seriesoftwo-dimensionalposterboards to victoryand defeat.In one, tragedy:
the"blackmilk"ofCélans "Deathfugue."In theother,courage:theAlliedeffort
to win theweapons race againsttheNazis. Insulatedfromeach otherand from
us,thesesimulacraofferan appropriately
dignifiedversionofWorldWarII his-
ANNE GOLDMAN
277
action and heightened
toryas epic, largerthanlife,a theaterof extraordinary
emotion.
these,and we lose themonumentalgrandeurthatretrospectively
Jettison
lendscoherenceto violence.Butwe obtaina qualityofattentionthatrestoresto
modern Jewishexperienceitsrichnessand detail.At a minimum,theknowledge thattherelativesofthevictimsofthegas chamberswereinstrumentalin
the race to develop the most potentweapons on earthshould give us pause.
Juxtaposea photographof the physicistswho workedin Los Alamos with a
picturetaken throughthe barbed wire mesh of Auschwitz.In the memorial
photograph,breathingstickfiguresstareback at you. Too emaciatedto stand
up straight,theystillpose forthe camera. Theirblack eyes smolder,guttered
firesthatwill flameup again at the slightestprovocationof the air.
Turn to the equally famous image of AlbertEinstein,and the accomplishmentsas well as tragediesof Jewishlives in the twentiethcenturycome
intofocus.Einstein,his Mona Lisa smile at odds withthe sad darkeyes,large
and lustrousand fringedwithlashes heavyas half-drawncurtains.And then
thereis the sidelong smile itself,the veryicon of Jewishexperience,withits
marvelousshades offeeling,bittersweet
and rueful,liltingas theminor-keyed
clarinet melodies of klezmer music- a littlemelancholy,a littlemocking,
epigrammatic,knowing.A smile thatis ironic and romanticand pragmatic,
quizzical withoutbemusement,nostalgicfora childhoodparadiseitrecognizes
it neverenjoyed,slightlysuperiorbut hesitant(hoveringat the cornersof the
mouthlike a watcherat the edges of a party);a flirtatioussmile thatmutates
fromseductionto sadness in an instant;a glancingsmilewiththehead angled
a quarterturnaway fromyou yet stillengages you steadfastlyand squarely
withthe j accuse thatneitherJewsnor non-Jewswould evermistakeformere
abstractedness.
The time has come to returnthis sidelong look with an answering
glance, forgoingthe satisfactionsof bereavementin order to examine more
complicated solutions to the untenable choices historyoffers.Einstein,we
know,refusedto become involvedin thewartimescience thatwould translate
his famoustheoryinto its most destructivepractice.But many otherJewish
in theworktheyoungFeynmansaw as necessary,
physicistswereinstrumental
what
he
with
his
the "fright"of
called,
given
penchant forunderstatement,
AtNorway'sNorskHydroplant,Nazi engineersoversaw
Germany'smilitarism.
the stepped-upproductionof heavywater- waterlaced withdeuterium,the
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hydrogenisotope whose denser molecular structurereleases neutronsthat
moderateand controlthereactionsthatsplituraniumatoms.Learningofthis
effort
froma Dutch colleaguewho had been expelledfromtheKaiserWilhelm
Einsteinwrotea letterofwarningto Roosevelt.The presidentdid not
Institute,
immediatelypay attentionto thisresident"alien"ofwhomthefbi pronounced
in the early1940s,"This officewould not recommendthe employmentof Dr.
Einstein,on mattersof a secretnature,withouta verycarefulinvestigation,
as it seems unlikelythata man ofhis backgroundcould, in such a shorttime,
become a loyal Americancitizen."
In the end, many scientists"ofhis background"- socialistsand Jewswereinvitedto collaborateupon theNew Mexico-based bomb projectadministratedby J.Robert Oppenheimer- himselfblacklistedafterthe war. In an
ironywe would do well to acknowledge,it was the refugeefromHungary,
Edward Teller,who laterspoke most vociferouslyagainstthisyoungAmerican. Oppenheimergave twentyhoursofeach day and some thirtypounds on
an alreadytoo-slenderframeto the project.Still,in 1954,he was essentially
"tried"fordisloyalty,
his securityclearancespermanentlyrevoked,his legacy
ineradicablyblackened.His wifeKittyhad once been marriedto JosephDallet,
a memberof the CommunistPartywho had been killed in 1937while fight- if
ing fortheRepublicanside duringtheSpanish Civil War.This "affiliation"
such it was, forwhen does your partnersformerspouse become your own
relative?-was sufficient
to scapegoat Oppenheimer.
In the earlyforties,however,the tensionsbetweenthe impoliticJewish
refugeeand theurbanescion ofa wealthyJewishAmericanfamilywereshoved
aside. The escaped scientistswho occupied side-by-sideofficesat Los Alamos
had been spat at and despised by Europe. Above deep Atlanticseas, fromthe
decks oftheocean liners,theywatchedhome recedebeyondthehorizon.But
notbeyondmemory.Reviledbythecountriesthatwould foreverremaintheir
nativelands,is itanywondertheychose an affiliation
thatmade morerespectfuluse of theirintellectualgifts?
In New Mexico theysubstitutedcooperationand whatFeynmancondescendinglylabeled "engineering"forthe pure science thathad givento their
livesitsrareand sustaininggrace.Like otherbrilliantpeople fortunate
enough
to findoutletsforself-expression
in theirwork,thesephysicistspossessed the
abilityto become so whollyabsorbed in concentrationthatthe separateanintoa singleclearnote.Such intellectual
tiphoniesofselfresolvedmomentarily
joy theymusthave sacrificedfora timeat Los Alamos: shelvingthequestions
ANNE GOLDMAN
279
and musingsthatsurfacedat odd momentsoftheday to remindthemoftheir
constructa bomb. But for
real interests,so thattheycould, committee-like,
I suspectthata certaindegreeof camaraderie- the
the refugees,particularly,
fellowshiptheyhad once enjoyedin theirown European laboratoriesuntilit
became unalterablycompromisedin the early1930s- compensated forthe
temporarycessationof theirlargerintellectualconcerns.Much scholarlycollaborationis an uneasymix ofpeople in suspensionratherthansolution.The
scientistsat Los Alamos- withtheirinsidejokes and theirSundaywalksin the
and theirweekendparcanyons,theirsummer-campdormitoryarrangements
ties werefiercely
competitiveas onlytheintellectually
self-possessedcan be,
buttheywerea close-knitgroup,unitedin theircommon aim,theirrespectfor
one another'swork,and even,paradoxically,in theirmaverickiconoclasm.
Those ofus born decades afterWorldWar II have been raisedin thelong
shadow ofnuclearfallout.We are intimatewithapocalypse.We knowitsimply
as unpleasantfact,a slow toxicity:radiationdepositedin our bones fromyearly
X-rays,the painstakingaccretion of mercuryin our blood, the thickening
and blurringof our atmospherewithcarcinogenicfuelemissions so thatwe
no longersee the horizon of clear days. Of course the scientistsgatheredin
Los Alamos duringwartimewould have preferredpursuingtheirown work:
questionsabout theformationofthestars,theas yetunnamed forcesfarmore
potentthan gravitythatseemed to be keepingwhole constellationsfromcollapsing,the originof the universeitself.These large,ennoblingproblemshad
occupied thembeforethepettybutvirulentspiteofhumanconflictsredirected
theircollectiveintelligencestowardtheserviceofweaponry.For them,apocalypsewas imminent.
The silence fromtheirfamiliesoverseas would have sounded loud as
the hiss of a blank tape. Worryabout theirwelfarewould have clouded the
scientists'focus and destroyedtheirconcentration,so that theymust have
been gratefulto be occupied. Late in thewar,reportsofbarracksconstructed
withthe sole object of dispatchingthose theyhoused to oblivionhad begun
to circulatein the classifiedcirclesto whichmanyofthe scientistswereprivy.
On theweekends,theyhikedup therockfacesofthemesas surroundingtheir
temporaryquartersand steadiedtheirpalms againstthesun-warmedcontours
of stone.Breathinghard in the thinair,did theysee the darkmiragesof their
familieswaveron the horizon?
At a minimum,theymusthave feltthe adrenalinesurgeof satisfaction
when theymanipulateda power immeasurablymore concentratedthan the
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chemicalsmade byGermancompaniesand ventedthrough"showerheads"to
suffocatethe historyprofessordown the street,the neighborhoodbullywho
had tormenteda son,theclarinetplayernextdoor whose eternalpracticingwas
ceased. Later,surveyingphotographsof
audible throughthewallswhentraffic
the lunar rubbleof Hiroshimaand Nagasaki (emptyas the abandoned death
camps in Europe thatlikewisedenied the bereavedthe consolationof gravestones),did some of themturntheirbacks on the New Mexico skies to face
Europe again and whisper- knowingtheburdentheyleftin the door frames
of thebombed-outhouses- Thisisfinishedinyourname7.
ofworlds."The eulogyJ.RobertOppen"Now we havebecome destroyers
heimer pronounced afterthe bomb detonated has become proverbialfor
ofOppenheimers first-person
Americanglobaldominance.Buttheaffiliations
extend
across
the
seas:
to
to
plural
Italy, Germany,to Hungary,and to France,
binding this group of refugeesin Los Alamos to theirseparategeographies
of home. And forthe directorof the ManhattanProject,therewas thatother
familiaras an irregular
kinship,a tugofrecognitionslightand uncomfortably
beat oftheheart,whichgaveto his gravepronouncementa morepointededge.
What more appropriatepower forOppenheimer- cosmopolitan,scholarly,
open minded- to call up as epitaphforthe Jewsof Europe than the spiritof
Shiva?Physicalprincipleratherthanvengefuldeity,theHindu goddessappeals
equallyto thetenetsofscience and belief.Shiva is entropy.Cosmic assessorof
destructiveforces,she judges the capacityof systemsto toleratechaos- and
so providedOppenheimera way to negotiatebetweenphysicsand faith.Too
worldlyto be wholeheartedlyreligious,too wealthyto committo physicswith
the single-mindedabsorptionof the refugeesand self-madeAmericanmen
he managed,he foundin Shiva,howeverattenuated,theansweringretributive
forceof his heart.
IV. A Reverence
forSkepticism
Skepticismratherthanblind compliancewithestablishedlearningcharacterizes the rabbinic students disposition and the scientistsethos alike. Study
requiresdisciplineand labor. But what most sharpensits edge, as rabbi and
physician Moses Maimonides counsels in the Guide for the Perplexed he
penned a millenniumago, is independence:thethinkermustpossess "a mind
ofhis own."In eleventh-century
Rabbi Shlomo ben Isaacs foundationalcommentarieson the Torah and Talmud, such criticalinquiry oftenverges on
ANNE GOLDMAN
l8l
blasphemy.For both medievalthinkers,thepluralisticrationalismofthemost
sophisticatedlearningin rabbinicschools dazzles like thefacetsofa cut gemstone. "There are seventyfaces to the Torah,"rabbinicsayingasserts,which
condones as manyreadingsoftheBible.The assumptionhere- thateach per- echoes
son possesses the responsibilityto tease out his own interpretation
Feynman,as it echoes myfather,as it echoes Einsteinsown satisfactionwith
scientificstudy.
Jewishscientistsare quick to distancethemselvesfromreligiousorthodoxy,but the intellectualqualities Talmudic scholars value are their own.
Despite his tendencyto distinguishthe work of science fromthe studyof
religion,Einsteinwas aware thaton one levelhe was translatinghis predecessors' desireto decipherthe laws of God intothe laws of physics."To be sure,"
he acknowledged in The Worldas I See It, "it is not the fruitsof scientific
researchthatelevatea man and enrichhis nature,but the urgeto understand,
the intellectualwork,creativeor receptive.It would surelybe absurd to judge
Itis notscientific
thevalue oftheTalmud,forinstance,byitsintellectualfruits."
that
is
but
scientific
that
valuable,
compels. Ifthe fieldof
application
principle
studyhas altered,this primarymotive "the urge to understand" remains
unchangedacross the long centuries.
Both Einsteinand themedievalrabbiniccommentariesvalue workmore
thanitsoutcome."Measuredobjectively,"
thephysicistasserts,"whata man can
But the strivwrestfromTruthby passionate strivingis utterlyinfinitesimal.
us
from
the
bonds
frees
of
the
self."
Maimonides
ing
Similarly,
suggeststhatif
you "do not persuade yourselfto believethatthereis a proofforthingswhich
cannot be demonstrated,or . . . tryat once to rejectand positivelyto deny
an assertionthe opposite of which has neverbeen proved . . . thenyou have
attainedthe highestdegree of human perfection."Because intellectualwork
itreleasesus momentarily
fromtheconstraints
requiresintenseconcentration,
ofego,thesmall resentments,
and annoyancesthat
jealousies, dissatisfactions,
becloud perception.The sacred is tied as closely to human effort,
properly
focused,as itis to divinityitself,that"windfrom
disciplinedand appropriately
God sweepingover thewater,"as Genesis frameswhat is externalboth to the
materialworldand to human consciousness.
The need to findin science a kind of human workthatis disinterested
(immune,thatis, to the distractionsof illustrationand example) is in essence
the desirethatmotivatesthe religiousto envisionan alternativeto the imperfectworld,one remotebut nonethelessresonatingin sympathywithour finer
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feelings.Metaphysicalunderstandingshareswithscience an interestin principles. Einsteinslongingto achieve momentsof scientificclarityechoes the
yearningof religious scholars to arriveat insightinto the divine. And the
physicistslanguageofprayeris thinking:themuscularcontractionsthatpush
blood throughour arteriesand oxygenatethereceptivetissuesofthebrain,the
forestof dendritesand gangliastirringto our everythought,signalsjumping
fromneuron to neuron in a patternswiftand untraceableas blinkingfirefly
lightsin thenightsky.The fernliketendrilsofcapillariesthatflushscarletwith
each pulse of our hearts,the traceryof branchesin our airwaysthatexpand
and contractwithour everybreath- theseare the conduitsand blood vessels
throughwhich we worktowardan understandingof the thingsoutside ourselves. Respirationand inspiration,physicsand physic:the medieval clerics
knew as well as we thatmetaphysicsis a miracleof breathand pulse, of body
and mind workingin concertto tracepathwaysfromthe patternedmillions
of nervesand neuronsinside to the patternedmillionsof starsoutside.To be
a doctor is to be a rabbi,to see how physiologypermitsphilosophyand how
philosophy,in itsturn,shadows God.
The medical analogies Maimonides exploits throughouthis religious
writingsreflectthisgenealogy;the essaysof certaincontemporaryphysicians
who are as facilewithphilologyas physiologymaintainthistradition.Perhaps
thedesireofpeople across theworldto possess a piece ofEinsteinsbrainafter
his death need not be cynicallydismissedas thevoyeurismofthecircussideshow Instead,it mightbe seen as a formofworshipthatreflectsan appreciationforthekineticand chemicalleaps across synapses- leaps not so different
fromthose of faith.
Like muscle tissue,which atrophiesor increases in girthaccording to
our own determinedeffort,
thinkingquickensor slackensin concertwiththe
intellectualdemands we make ofourselves.We thinkin orderto approachan
understandingofthedeepestspiritualquestions,Maimonides argued.Butthe
powerto speculateis notsimplyconferredupon theheads oftheappropriately
pious. Reverence- thatqualitythe PuritancultureofNew Englandassociates
with piety,with decorum, with an unquestioned obedience to duty- is for
Jewsconnected with desire and never the effortto suffocateit; with intellectual skepticismratherthan catechism;and withan independenceof mind
thatalways,always supersedes collectivewisdom. A millenniumafterMaimonides,Einsteinpracticeda similarintellectualfaith.He did notgiveup this
ANNE GOLDMAN
283
faithever: not when his cautionsto the U.S. governmentabout German war
ofweapons ofmass destruction,not when
efforts
resultedin theproliferation
the bomb over Hiroshima stilledthe citybeforethe nervesignals registering
its brilliantravagingcould make theirway to the brains of the watchers,not
even when he knew the busy firingsinside his own brain were withinhours
I am. IfEinsteininauguratedthe
ofceasing. Cogitoergosum. I thinktherefore
modern scientificage, he was stilla child of Descartes. The day he died of a
stomachaneurysm,he lay in his hospitalbed writingout equations.
Jewsare oftenseen as parochial,an ironyof epic proportionsgiventhe
All overtheworld,different
Jewish
cosmopolitanismofJewishintellectualism.
culturestake the phrase intellectualworkseriously.Surprisingly,
theireducationhas changedverylittleoverthecenturies.Iftheoriginsofscholarlyinquiry
seem insularin the sense thattheyderivefromreligiousinterpretation,
take
a closer look. The secular among us may ridiculethe Talmudic thinkeras the
originalbespectaclednerd,butthestudygroupswithinwhichstudentscluster
spur the kind of bravura academic performancethatcharacterizesthe best
thinkers.
V. Art,Science, and theSublime
I havebeen schooledto understandtragedyas theapex
As a literature
professor,
of achievement.In concertwiththe openinglines of Tolstoys Anna Karenina
("Happy familiesare all alike; everyunhappy familyis unhappy in its own
Like Chagall'sgloriouspalette,howway"),literarycriticsbalk at affirmation.
ever,writingsbyEinsteinand Feynmancommunicatehappinessfarmoreoften
than defeat.And whyshouldn'tthisfugitive,
alchemicalpresenceoccupy our
If
lives?
loss
is
how
much
morenuanced themomenimaginative
complicated,
in thenightsky?Whilewe linger
taryluminescenceofjoy,a pizzicatooffireflies
sorrow
in
and
the
of
verse,
upon
prose
vitality midcenturypaintersowes much
to thesensibilitiesoftheirmodernistprecursorswhose energyreanimatedthe
plastic arts.Think of the kineticdazzle of JacksonPollock'scanvases,where
paintpulseswiththeuncontainableenergyofsome unstableelement.Matisse's
warmlylit abstractionsof the Frenchlandscape. Picasso's canon- imperial,
muscular,assertive,and, save forGuernica, a refusalof the darknessof war.
And then thereare the Jewishpainters:the proto-modernlightexperiments
of Camille Pissarroand, later,Max Liebermann.Mark Rothko'sshimmering
rectangles,luminousas the surfaceof water.The figuresin Chagall'scanvases
284
THE GEORGIA REVIEW
thathovermidwaybetweenearthand sky,mirroringthesudden elusive,inexplicableriseofthespirits.
The paintingsof this Russian immigrantharborghostsless oftenthan
Canvases glow
theybeckontowardthesprightly
dancingofcircusperformers.
as
boxes.
Color
is
so
vibrant
here
it
seems
the
bright crayon
point of painting:theblue oftheazure,lemon-yellowdaffodils,greenspiquantas unfurling
leaves,reds thecheerfulcrimsonofnewlyoxygenatedblood. Despite thedisparagementof some native-bornFrench,Moische Segal, survivorof pogrom
and Holocaust and newlynaturalizedcitizen,adorned the ceilingof the new
ParisOpera withtheeffulgent
hues ofTintoretto.
Color- tenderas spring,high
spiritedas childrenat Purim,glamorousas Mardi Gras or thekineticstreakof
red and whitetraffic
lighton time-exposedphotographicfilms- speaks in the
accentsofjoy in almostall of Chagall'swork.
Of course,thepainterwas as intimatewithloss as withtheTorah stories
he translatedto paint.But sorrowhe contained,forthemostpart.Melancholy
remainedpartofthepast,visiblein thefaintsmile- a not-so-distant
mirrorto
Einsteinsown- thatplayedacrosshis fathers lips."Everything
aboutmyfather
seemed enigma and sadness to me,"Chagall writesin Ma Vie, his autobiography."Alwaystired,careworn,only his eyes had a luster,of grey-blue.... He
liftedheavy barrels [of herring],and my heartached to see him hoist those
loads, his frozenhands fumbling.. . . Only his face occasionally betrayeda
faintsmile. What a smile! Where did it come from?"Like Einstein,whose
unfathomablesmile simultaneouslyopens to and answersforsadness, Chagall recognizesmelancholyonlyto confineitto thehorizonline ofhis Russian
homeland.
The refugeeswisdom:we can neverrecover,unlesswe finallystoplistening.
And so, sadness shimmersfaintly
in theblue tonesthatoutlinetheartists
homes
and
cathedral
bells. But the presentis fullof work,
peasant
faraway
the satisfying
soulfulworkofpainting,wherehappyscenes are squarelyforegrounded.Light,color,movement- thereis the EiffelTower,herethe chatter
of talkand the clinkofglasswarealong Pariss tree-linedavenues.Enraptured
loversfloatabove thegroundlikebrightballoons escaping,fiddlerschase away
deathplayingon highrooftopsabove townstreets,thepetalsofflowersglisten
like stars.
If we were to expressfeelingin the language of physics,thenhappiness
would be as kineticas the artistssoftlywaveringcanvases. Sorrowis absolute
ANNE GOLDMAN
285
zero,the absence of energy,when even the hummingbirdvibrationof atoms
quivers into stillness.Gladness trembleslike the dappled lightin Chagalls
circuspictures,whichdefygriefas theydefyNewtonslaws. Dancers pirouette
in air whilea clown clasps a donkeyroundthewaist.Human and animal alike
glow with the green-yellowtones of spring,spangled with color like water
sparkingagainstsunlight.
The painterunderstandscolor the way a physicistinterpretsthe spectrum.Not, thatis, as pigmentor hue, but as energy,the dynamicfreightof
each painted storysmood and argument.Stand in frontof one of Chagalls
stained-glasswindowsand you cannotfailto understandthisforce."Justmaterialsand light,"he explained,and "somethingmysticalpasses throughthewindow."BeautydroveEinsteintoo. Nor was thisaestheticimpulseidiosyncratic:
mathematicianswilltellyou thatthefinestexpressionspossess theirown spare
grace.The mostelegantalgebraicsolutionis thesimplest.Shornofunnecessary
parts,the letters,symbols,and numbersvibratewiththe suppressedenergy
of Kandinskys neon canvases. Strippinga mathematicalphrase to its fewest
In itscogency,itsharmoniouscontainment
elementsis profoundlysatisfying.
of affiliationand design, it gesturestowardwhat Einstein and other physicistsknewwas an infinitely
interconnecteduniverse.WilliamCarlos Williams
echoes thisidea in "The Rose" when he imaginesa flowerpetal and theworld
itscurvededge defines."Fromthepetals edge a line starts/thatbeing ofsteel
/ infinitely
/ rigidpenetrates/ the Milky Way / withoutconfine,infinitely
tact."Craftedin language as lucentas the meetingof rose and atmosphereit
ofthe flower/unbruised"
perceives,thepoets understandingofthe "fragility
as it "penetratesspace" is also Einsteinsbeliefin the comprehensionofreality
as spelled out in the unifyingtermsof generalrelativity.
"If uniformmotion
"
was relative,"the physicistassumed, then all motion should be." This aes- an unhappinesswith special
theticdissatisfaction
because it was
relativity
- moved Einsteinto formulatewhat the editorsof his
"ugly"
writingsin The
Human Side called withsympatheticunderstanding"gravitationalequations
of transcendentbeauty."
Chagalls calculus expressedart as the sum of materialsand light.Einsteins greatestinsightabout the relationshipof mass and energyoriginated
froma similarfocuson thenaturalworlds basic elementsand a corresponding
faithin this worlds unity.The earthsbalance is everywherereflected:in the
tensilestrengthof a singlehair,in theperfectproportionsofan Ionic column
whose flower-stem
slendernessholds thousandsofpounds ofmarblealoft.The
286
THE GEORGIA REVIEW
physicist'smostfamousequation expresseswithausterebeautythe"profound
that compose our world. Einsteins equation is a matheinterrelationships"
maticalmetaphorforan elegantuniverseregulatedfrominterstellar
space to
single-celledorganismby the same physicalprinciples.Marvelouslyefficient
on the page, it gesturestowardforcesof such magnitudemost of us cannot
conceptualizethem withoutthe aid of analogy."E," "m,""c,"the superscript
"2": thealphabeta childlearns.E=mc2,symbolsconnectingimmensitieswith
minutiae.To contemplatethisequation is to see the microcosmin the world
and the universecontained in a grainof sand. Travelfarenough away from
theblue-greenradianceoftheearth,and thissmall roundbeautybecomes the
colored irisofa human eye.Witnessthedarkenergythatmakesthestarsrush
awayfromone anotherin balance withthecohesionthatkeepsa drop ofwater
compressed,a perfectglobe.
awe fortheworld
The writingsof scientistsreflectthe same affectionate
visiblein Chagalls buoyantcanvases. We are quick to understandtwentiethcenturyphysicsas our eras heartofdarkness,but thisis to mistakeitscrudest
physicalexpression,thetechnologicalpowerunleashedduringwarfare,forits
withatomic
supremetranslationon earth.The scientistswhose investigations
fissionled to the engineeringof the worlds most powerfulweapon spentthe
majorityof theirlives marvelingat a universewhose incomparablebeauty
was expressedin forcesheld in harmony,supple and strongand lovelyas the
sinewfromankleto knee.Reducingthelaws ofnatureto theirmostelemental
relationshipswas a kind of distillationprocess,renderingobservationfreeof
blur,of noise, of distraction.Einstein'selegantequations wereelixir:when he
transcribednaturallaws into mathematicalsymbols,he was, like the Greek
philosophers,siftingout impurities.Physicswas forhim a way of listening
intentlyto themusic ofthe spheres.The ancientsdescribedthe starryskiesas
suspended in ether,an atmosphereso rarifiedtheworldcould not breatheit.
Einstein,likewise,saw a unitythatapproachedperfection.Physicswas to the
cosmos what the listeningear was to music: the means by whichwe connect
withwhatsurroundsus in a whollyunmediatedway,directas touch,sufficient
in itself,an insighttoo fineto be carriedby language. Its equations link art
and nature.Concordance,harmony,balance: thisis whatEinsteinsees in the
universeand whata cellisthears in Bach'sfugues.We listen,summingup the
balanced frequenciesof each note intopurityin our ear. Like the cellos spare
loveliness,Einstein'sequation possesses infiniteexpressivepower.
ANNE GOLDMAN
287
The waythingsworkis itselfbeautiful.Understandingtheintricatedesign
thatholds forcesbalanced in tensionis an aestheticand an ethic,providing
artisticand scientific
observationswiththeirprofounddepth.Einsteingestures
towardthis sense of connectionin writingof a winterstorm:"The sea has a
look of indescribablegrandeur,especiallywhen the sun fallson it. One feels
as ifone is dissolvedand mergedintoNature.Even morethanusual, one feels
the insignificanceof the individual,and it makes one happy."How many of
us have feltthe sharpnessof our own losses gentledby looking out over the
expanse ofwateror the dome of sky,the endlesswaves ofwaterand wind and
cloud acrosshorizonsthatwillremainlong afterour own heartshave stopped?
The grandeurthatEinsteinfeltat thewaters edge is the same sublimeinsight
we know as Genesis: "The earthbeingunformedand void,withdarknessover
the surfaceof the deep and a wind fromGod sweepingover the water."Light
generatesitselffromchaos. Justso, the recognitionof a being dissolved and
releasedoftheweightof significancein a greaterpowerbringsease and lightbut rather
ness. Creationdoes not issue frombitternessor a sense ofaffliction,
forcesat work
fromthesouls gratefulunderstandingofthepoised,interrelated
in theworlds design.
VI. BeyondDescartes:Doubt as Invention
The brilliantly
energeticskepticismthatcharacterizestheworkofJewishphysicistsis as much thehallmarkofJewishcultureas is thepietyofmelancholy.To
doubt is not to falteror despair.It is to createpossibility,to see the world in
a different
way,to sweep away establishedwisdom withouta second thought
or second look when thatlegacydoes not adequatelyexplainexperience.The
blind reverenceto memoryand the stubbornhold on thepast long attributed
to Jewsare merelybyproductsof this unhesitatingenergy,an after-the-fact
apology compensatingfora defiancethatdrivesinnovation.In a postwarlectureon "The Value of Science" deliveredat the 1955meetingof the National
AcademyofSciences,Feynmanprivilegesskepticismwhenhe definesscientific
- some
knowledgeas a collectionofstatementsof"varyingdegreesofcertainty
most unsure,some nearlysure,but none absolutelycertain."Incertitudecatalyzes exploration.The "freedomto doubt" is a liberty a privilegewrested
"out of a struggleagainstauthorityin the earlydays of science."Permitus to
thinkersdemanded. Allow us "to not be
question,these seventeenth-century
researcher
sure,"the twentieth
repeats.
-century
288
THE GEORGIA REVIEW
Asking questions, not supplyingready answers,makes good science.
Here we come fullcircle,back to the traditionsof studyexplainedby Shlomo
ben Isaac (Rashid) and Maimonides(Ramban), traditionssustainedbyTalmudic studyto thisday.In his second memoir,"What Do You Care What Other
he heldwith
PeopleThink?" Feynmanremembersa discussionabout electricity
a group of rabbinicalstudentsin New York City.With his usual arrogance,
the physicistadmits,he assumed his science would best theirreligiouslogic.
But theyweretentimesquickerthanhe was. "Assoon as theysaw I could put
themin a hole,theywenttwist,turn,twist- I cant rememberhow- and they
werefree!I thoughtI had come up withan originalidea- phooey! It had been
discussed in theTalmud forages!" Here is theJewas escape artist,theintellectual Houdini who wrigglesfreeofhis chainsand slipsout ofconfinement,
the
wartimerefugeewho eludes the Shoah withthe light-footedness
a starvation
diet allows. In the midstof gloom we hear the liltof klezmermusic,an alto
clarinetkickingup itsheelslikea weddingdancer- a hintofmelancholyin the
minorkey,but played at allegrotempo.And alwaysideas, ideas unstoppable
as a nuclearreaction,intellectualfissionreleasedas marvelous,uncontainable
energy.
And thenthereis Feynmanhimself,an imp who recountshis safecrack"
Ě"In
ingand lock-pickingtrickswithuncontainableglee in SurelyYou'reJoking
the ironcladsecurityof Los Alamos, Feynmanis a human dustdevil blowing
away otherscientistsbeforehis anticslike tumbleweedsin fright:
I wentbacktothefirst
cabinetandclick! Itopened!. . . NowI
filing
couldwritea safecracker
bookthatwouldbeateveryone... I opened
safeswhosecontents
were. . . morevaluablethanwhatanysafecracker
had
anywhere opened- exceptfora life,ofcourse thesafeswhich
containedall thesecretsto theatomicbomb:theschedulesforthe
oftheplutonium,
thepurification
howmuch
production
procedures,
material
is needed,howthebombworks,
howtheneutrons
aregenerwhat
the
the
dimensions
the
entire
information
that
ated,
designis,
wasknownat Los Alamos:thewholeschmeer
Г
At the heartof darknessresidesthissprite,exposingsecurityflawsand defyinggravitas,sidesteppingsermon,mockingseriousness,delightingin his own
brilliancewitha childlikeopenness thatdeflatesanyclaim to destructiveselfimportance.To see the slightfigureof the physicistwatchinghis colleague
blanch at a safe emptyexceptfora scrap of paper scrawledtriumphantly
in
ANNE GOLDMAN
289
red crayonwiththewords"Feynmanwas here"is to witnessthatotherJewish
s happiness
tradition,an irrepressibleenergyflauntinggriefto finda trickster
at the centerof gloom.
Much scientificbrilliancewas volunteeredat Los Alamos in service of
weapons thatremainthevanishingpoint forour own nightmares.But death,
destruction,and the world laid waste need not be the end of the story.The
same wartimerefugees- outsiderslikeEinstein,Pauli,and Segrè- have given
theearthitslocationamongthestars,exploredgalaxiesat theouteredge ofthe
universe,discoveredthe forcesthatkeep thevoid of space fromcollapsingin
upon itself- else no earth,no sun, no stars,no universe.Why see the facesof
Jewishpeople as thefallenleaves ofhistory,
scuttlingthiswayand thataccording to an ill-intentionedGerman wind? At the veryperiod memorializedby
whose endpoint is a
historyas a dead loss, an era of unspeakable suffering
mass vanishing,Jewsremadethe universe.The nadir of Jewishhistorymarks
the greatestprofusionof scientificideas since Newton,and these physicists,
were
pushed malignlyto the edges and thenout of sightofEurope altogether,
centralto itsflourishing.
The omniscientgrandeurearliercenturiesgave to the angels,the scientistsbestowedon themselves- not as creators,butwiththehumilityofintelligentwatchers.Theycontemplatedthebeginningsoftimeand itsend,watched
as starsexploded, imploded, and exploded again, theirmaterialscoming to
momentaryrestin the iron of our blood and bones. Not passive,not waiting,
notparalyzedbydespair,thepeople pushed to themarginsoftheirown townships traveledout to expand boundaries most of us could not even invent,
much less understand.The destructiveenergythat found a language in the
barked commands of midcenturywartimewas nothingto these scientists
positivelychargedmasses,volatilewithideas, exuberantwiththemomentum
of insightstheyknew were inescapable,unstoppable,transforming.
I could not understandeven the simplestphysicsequation to save my
but
the cockyinsouciance toward"whatotherpeople will say" conforms
life,
closely to my familialexperience.I recognize in Feynmans inimitableselfpossessionan ebullienceakin to myfathers brashness,as wellas an impatience
withthesocial ritualsoftheless curiouswho tookrefugein sitevisitsand committeemeetingswhile he wanted only to be in the lab, thinking.Intellectual
tendentiousnessand a sublime lack of fearat jettisoningaccepted wisdom
is my inheritance,too- albeit in a different
academic environmentthan the
290
THE GEORGIA REVIEW
researchmedicinethatis myfathers professionor thetheoreticalphysicsthat
is theprovinceof so manyJewishscientists.
So, writerand reader of literaturethat I am, I stumblethroughBrian
Greenes Elegant Universe
, hoping in mysnails pace to pick up a fewsurface
about
stringtheory,and edge my way throughthe tangled
understandings
thicketof TheFabricoftheCosmos, anticipatingthata fewsmallbursofinsight
about our eleven-dimensionalworldwillstubbornlyclingto mysleeve.I know
thatthisverydesire to learn is in my case a provocationinheritedas well as
discovered,a culturalimpulseas pleasingand profoundas themuscularintelligencethatperformsitsown dailymiracleswhen we lifta cup to our lips,or
draw a violin bow across a string,or,like myartistdaughterZoë, put pen to
paper.I have neitherstudiedTalmudnor sat formorethantwohoursat a time
listeningto rabbinicalsermons.Butitis fromthousandsofyearsofthesescholarlytraditionsthatmyown pleasure in learningin part originates.Effortless
as the body's memory,and as poised, the giftof intellectualbrashnessopens
to a kind of secular faith.The mathmaybe performedby supercomputersin
windowlesslaboratories,but still,it is stargazingthatcatalyzessuch scientific
inquiry.What could be more spiritualthanthis,thisunbalancinglooking-up
at the dome of sky,yourhands raised slightlyto compensateforyourbodys
tilting,
yourhead thrownback thisopen-throatedbutunspeakableyearning,
thiswillingnessto connect to what is beyond the selfthatends in rapturous
Here,thepast is not a burden,nor a bitteracceptanceoftheworlds mystery?
ness withoutbalm. Instead,itcurvestowardthefuture,
just as, lookingup,we
thinkbeyond our presentmomentilluminatedby starlightfromplaces that
disappearedbeforeanyofus- nationafternation,people afterpeople began,
slow as a flowers unfurling,to move fromthe crouch of fourfeetto practice
the uprightstancethatmakes stargazingpossible.
Whatmorecuriousgiftcould therebe thanthecapacitywe haveofbendso thata fewmomentsrecalled in the lightningflashesof memory
time,
ing
obliteratethe darknessof difficult
years.These refugeescientistsshow us that
timeless
cruelty ancient"problemsfromhell" translated
againsthumanity's
as
into modern genocide- we also possess some understandingof relativity
an interestbeyond our own footing.Intellectualwork can move us toward
serenityas easilyas towardtragedy.What drivesinsightis not thepain ofloss
but a transportingrecognitionthatis outside of the body altogether,outside
of humanness,even- a floatingupward heedless of gravitythatconnectsus
ANNE GOLDMAN
29I
withwhat the Greekscalled the etherand what we stilldo not know how to
name.
Science and artextendthemselvesas hopefullyas Chagalls lovers,connected by theirhands as theyleave the ground.And timeis the key.Perhaps
this is what occupied those Jewishphysicistsin theirexplorationof the universe: a means to recapturea sense of time as marvel,stretchingbehind us
and in frontof us like the seas upon which continentsfloat.In place of the
Holocaust, engulfinglightand air,theylistenedfora wind over the darkness
thatportendsmovement,a stirof atmospherethatgesturestowardpresence,
a quickeningfromabsence. This conceptionis ancientand again modern,and
no more miraculousthan the idea thatour own universe- anchoredwhere?
and floatingupon what,ifnot more space?- will itselfgrowto fullnessto the
edges of time,thencontractall timeback intoitself... a trilliontrillionmeasures slower,yes,than the memoryof human life- but sure as the rhythmic
rise and fallof our own breathing.

Stargazing in the Atomic Age

Transcription

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