Gloucestershire`s Children`s Guide to Adoption

adopt!
children’s guide
what it’s all about
adopt!
children’s guide
what it’s all about
For further adoption support advice contact:
Gloucestershire County Council’s
Adoption Support Team
Anne Peniket House
380 Bristol Road
Gloucester GL2 5DH
01242 532362
[email protected]
Did you know there is a team of
people looking after you?
My name is
I am
We are responsible for making sure you are well looked
after and safe at all times. As an adoption service our duty
is to find suitable families for children in Gloucestershire
needing to be adopted. We have a team of people who
are responsible for this and for looking after you to make
sure you are always kept safe and well.
This leaflet has been written to tell you a bit more about
adoption and you will need to read it to find out what it
means for you.
years old
My
social worker
is called
You may be able to read this yourself or you may want
your foster carer or social worker to read it with you.
My
foster carer
is called
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What is adoption?
“Why am I being adopted?”
Families are created in many ways.
There are many reasons why children are
adopted.
Most people think that families are only created when a
couple give birth to a child, but families can happen in
other ways too.
Some children are unable to stay with their birth family as
they can’t look after them anymore.
Adoption is just one of these.
Some children are adopted when they are babies, some
when they are older and some with their brother or sister.
Adoption means belonging to and growing up with a
different family. Adoption happens when you can’t live
with the family you were born to and another family has
to be found.
You will have someone, called a social worker, whose job
it is to make sure you are looked after. They will talk to
you and explain why it is best for you to be adopted and
where you might live instead.
Lots of children are adopted every year so you are not
the only one.
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“Why can’t I stay with my
foster family?”
You may already be living with a foster family
while we are looking for a new family for you.
Foster families usually only look after children until
they can move back home, or move to a new adoptive
family. Families sometimes look after teenagers before
they are ready to live on their own. However foster
families do not usually look after children for more than
a few years.
“Will being adopted be
different to my foster family?”
Being adopted means being part of a new
family forever not just a short time.
Your new family will look after you until you are grown up.
They will make sure you are happy, well looked after and
safe.
Foster families are important as they help us look after
other children like you until we can find them permanent
homes.
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“Who decides that I need to
be adopted?”
A lot of people are involved in deciding
whether adoption is best for you.
This can include your birth parents, other family
members, your foster family and sometimes a court.
Your social worker will talk to you about adoption and
will write a report for the adoption panel. This is a group
of adults who will decide if they think adoption is the
best thing for you. There is often an adult who has been
adopted on the panel so they will know how you are
feeling.
It’s really
important that
you say what you
think and let us know
how you feel. You can
ask any questions and
if you are unhappy about
anything, you should either
let your social worker or
foster carer know as they
may be able to help you.
They will listen to what everyone thinks, including you you can even write the adoption panel a letter, make a
video, or draw some pictures if you want to.
If everyone on the panel thinks adoption is right, your
social worker will talk to you about what kind of family
you would like to live with.
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“Who will adopt me?”
Lots of different people adopt.
Your new family may have a mum and dad, two dads or
two mums, or just one mum or dad. You may be the only
child or you may have new brothers or sisters.
You may even be able to be adopted by one of your birth
relatives, like an auntie, uncle, nan or grandad.
All families are different and we will try to find the right one
for you.
Famous people who have
adopted
You may already know some adults who have adopted
children, or you may have heard of some famous people
who are adopters. Some of those include;
• Madonna (singer)
• Angelina Jolie (actress) & Brad Pitt (actor)
• Dawn French & Lenny Henry (actors and comedians)
• Walt Disney (founder of Disneyland)
• Eminem (singer)
• George Lucas (film director, Star Wars)
Turn the page to find out who has been adopted...
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© Roald Dahl Nominee Ltd / Quentin Blake 2010 Roald Dahl is a registered trademark of Roald Dahl Nominee Ltd.
Many famous people are
adopted. Here are just some
of them:
• KT Tunstall (singer/songwriter)
• Toby Anstis, radio DJ and former children’s
TV presenter
• Nelson Mandela (politician)
Even Stuart Little and Matilda were adopted and the
ultimate superhero – Superman!
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Colour in the pictures of Matilda
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“Who will Find me a family?”
Once it’s decided that adoption is best for
you, your social worker will talk to you about
it and what kind of family you would like to
live with.
We will then try to find a family that is very similar.
This may mean finding a family that talks the same
language or has the same religion as you or has the
same interests.
You may like a family who has lots of pets, or a family
that goes walking a lot. There may be an ideal family
for you in a different part of the country.
“What happens once a family is
found?”
Once a family has been found your social
worker will let the people on the adoption
panel know.
The adoption panel will remember you from before and
they will be able to decide if your social worker has found
the right family for you. Because this is a very important
decision this normally takes them about a week. It can
sometimes take a bit longer if the panel need some more
information.
Your social worker may also contact other adoption
organisations to find families that are waiting to adopt
children and send information about you to families that
are thinking about adoption. They may even go to meet
different families to find out more about them.
Sometimes it can take a long time to find a family, but
we want to find one that is best for you.
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“Will I get to meet my
new family?”
“What if there are things I’m not
happy about?”
Yes. Once the right family has been found
then you will get to meet them.
After meeting your new family a few times,
if you are still not happy about anything you
should tell your social worker or foster carer.
The family will send you some photos and pictures of
themselves and where you will be living and you will be
able to ask any questions you like about them.
Your social worker and foster carer will be able to come
with you to meet them and you will have time to get to
know your new family and visit your new home before
you move.
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It’s normal to feel a bit confused and worried as a lot of
things will be different. If you talk to your social worker
they will try to help you with any problems or questions
you may have.
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“Will they be my parents
straight away?”
No. Before an adoption can take place
everyone has to go to a court so a judge can
make something called an Adoption Order
and give the final decision on where you are
to live.
This is an agreement that makes you legally part of your
new family. This normally happens when everyone feels
you have settled into your new home (probably about six
months).
Before everything is
finally agreed, your birth
parents are asked if they agree to the
adoption taking place. Some birth
parents agree as they know that adoption will be
best for their children, but some say no.
This is because they can find it hard to accept that
their children are not able to live with them anymore.
If this happens another social worker, called a
children’s guardian, will help find out a bit more about you,
your birth family and new family to help the judge decide
what is best.
Before the adoption order is made, you, your social
worker and new family will get to meet the judge
before they decide. Visiting the court and
meeting the judge can be a bit scary, but
also very exciting!
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“Will I be able to see my birth
family and foster family once
I am adopted?”
Being adopted doesn’t always mean you will
never have anything to do with your birth
family or foster family.
If your social worker or new family think that seeing your
birth family is not the right thing, they can arrange for you
to telephone or write to them from time to time instead.
Writing letters is a good way to stay in touch.
Some children and birth families exchange letters once
a year to update each other on their news. This is
normally done through a social worker as your birth
family will not know your new address.
Some children still see their birth family and foster
family from time to time, even when they are living with
their new family. Before you are adopted your social
worker will talk to you to find out how you feel and who
you would want to stay in contact with.
This doesn’t just mean your birth parents, it can
mean aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters or even
grandparents, foster carers and other people
important to you.
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What happens after we’ve been
to court to see the judge?
If you, your brothers and sisters or parent(s)
have questions or if you need help about
family life and growing up, we’re here to help
and support you all.
If it has been decided that you will hear from your birth
family we are the team who sort this out with your
parent(s). As you get older you might want to talk to your
parent(s) about this changing and we can help your
family with this.
We also have a summer family day with lots of activities
and it gives you a chance to meet other adopted children.
If you are still going to see one of your birth relatives we
might come along too just to help make sure it goes well.
Your mum/dad will also be invited along to meet
other adoptive parents to talk about the special things
about being an adoptive family.
If you want to speak to us or if you have any ideas about
what you would like the team to do, we would be pleased
to hear from you at the following address:
Gloucestershire Adoption Support Team
Anne Peniket House
380 Bristol Road
Gloucester
GL2 5DH
Tel: 01242 532362
Email: [email protected]
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“What if I’m still not happy?”
If you are unhappy or worried about anything
remember to tell either your social worker or
foster carer as they will be able to help you.
If you don’t want to talk to either of these there are other
people, called independent advocates, who can help you.
This will be someone who hasn’t been involved up until
now and you may feel more comfortable talking to them
about your problems.
If you would like an independent advocate these
organisations can find one for you;
National Youth Advocacy Service
Freephone: 0800 616 101
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.nyas.net
Voice for the Child in Care
Freephone: 0808 800 5792
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.voiceyp.org
The Children’s Legal Centre
Freephone: 0808 802 0008
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.childrenslegalcentre.com
You might want to ask an adult or friend to help
you with this.
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Other people who will listen
to you are:
Children’s Rights Director (Ofsted)
Freephone: 0800 528 0731
Email: [email protected]
Write to: Office of the Children’s Rights Director,
Ofsted, Aviation House, 125 Kingsway, Holborn, London WC2B 6SE
Or you can visit the Children’s Rights website:
www.rights4me.org to find out more information and
other useful people you can contact.
Your social worker or an independent advocate will
be able to help you do this.
“What does it all mean?”
Going through the adoption process can be
confusing as there are many people involved and lots of
phrases and words that people use. Here are just some
of those explained so you know what they mean;
Adoption Order This is the legal agreement that the judge
makes for your new family to legally adopt you.
Adoption Panel This is a group of adults who will
decide what is best for you. They will listen to what your
birth family, foster carer and social worker think and most
importantly they want to hear what you think.
They will also meet your new family to make sure they are
the best family for you.
Children’s Guardian If your birth family doesn’t agree with
what we think is best for you another social worker may
come and have a chat with you to see what you think.
They are called a Children’s Guardian.
Court This is a place where adults meet to decide
whether adoption is the right thing for you. A court is
normally quite a big building and can be modern or old.
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Independent Advocate This is someone you can
contact who doesn’t work with your social worker.
They will be able to help if you are worried or if you don’t
want to talk to your social worker or foster carer.
Judge A judge is the person who will finally decide
whether adoption is best for you. The judge is also the
person who makes the legal arrangements for you to
stay with your new family.
© Roald Dahl Nominee Ltd / Quentin Blake 2010
Roald Dahl is a registered trademark of Roald Dahl Nominee Ltd.
Matilda front cover image reproduced with kind permission by
the Random House Group Ltd. Author: Roald Dahl.
Information on adopters and adoptees taken from adopt.adoption.com,
Roger Ridley Fenton and British Association for Adoption and Fostering
(BAAF).
They can be male or female, young or old. You will
probably get to meet them in the court.
Social Worker A social worker is somebody whose job
it is to make sure children are safe and cared for.
You will have your own social worker who will be able to
answer any questions you may have.
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CYP00227 09.10