The Dudespaper

The Dudespaper
October 3, 2010 | A Lifestyle Magazine for the Deeply Casual - dudespaper.com
Movies that are Rated T for
Tao
a Dudeist/Taoist thread running through the assembled corpus of
human creative thought.
If you’re innarested, why not expand on Ms. Adams’ angle and
see if you can come up with any other great Taoist works (books,
poetry, theater, painting, what have you) that might not actually
seem to be expressly of the Tao and put them in the comments
section below.
October 3, 2010 3:48 pm
Of course, the great Tao is always hidden:
The Tao is hidden, and has no name;
but it is the Tao which is skillful at imparting
(to all things what they need)
and making them complete.
– Tao Te Ching, Chapter 41, Legge translation
And evokes laughter when revealed:
If it were not laughed at, it would not be the Way.
– Chapter 41, Beck translation
So you thought The Big Lebowski was the only movie that
successfully and slyly snuck Taoism onto the silver screen, didja?
Well, you know, some smarter fellers than ourselves have
pondered this very subject. One special lady we just came across
named Ren Adams not only smartly points out some interesting
examples (Fight Club!), but also is a whiz at Chinese brush
painting, Zen philosophy and writes pretty durn good too.
She’s raring to go write part 2, examining some other films as
well and is asking for insights and suggestions. Let’s see if the
Dude community can lend her a hand. Check out Part 1: Taoist
Movies[1] and then post in our comments section (below) to
suggest ideas for the sequel article.
It’s no wonder that most of the movies that Ren points out
happen to be comedies, parts anyway.
Of course, the Stranger doesn’t call this “the whole durn human
melodrama” or “the whole durn human soap opera” or the
“whole durn human action adventure.” Make no mistake. Life is
of the Tao, and the Tao is a hoot and a holler (trans: yin
and yang).
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/33btmdw
Of course, one of the main precepts of Dudeism is that it has
existed throughout human civilization, and traces its earliest
codified roots to Taoism, so it stands to reason that there will be
1
F**k It!
August 22, 2010 2:07 pm
rang a bell… F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way by John C.
Parkin[1]. I inspected the tome, reminded myself that I had seen
it before, thought it useful at the time, then said “fuck it” before
taking proper note of its importance.
At this point…and I acknowledge the fortuitous intervention of
our double White Russian drinking lady dude…I think it only
fitting to pass the info regarding the book’s[2] provenance along
to fellow travelers who may not be aware of it or its slow steppin’
author, who introduces his deep and profound take on things in
this short video…
By Rev. Hieronymous Moondog
So I guess you fellers are wonderin’ why ol’ Moondog placed
asterisks in the mid section of one of Dudeism’s holy passwords.
Well, this is how it happened…
Not much more to report at this stage of the game…don’t want to
clutter up such a refined message with a lot of unnecessary
strands and convolutions. I’ll pass along more details about the
double White Russian drinking lady philosopher dude and her
inneresting concepts and pronouncements at a later date…
The usual suspects and I were trying to figure out what not to do
next at the Duder the other day when this sympatico looking
young lady saunters in, sits down at the bar and orders a double
White Russian. Well, that got our attention, and as Louise sprang
into action to mix up the requested beverage, this young lady
flashes a bright smile all around, reaches into her bag and pulls
out a book which she slides down the bar to me. The title of the
book and the feller’s na
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/yky9nxr
[2] http://tinyurl.com/3ydzfkw
Interdude with ‘Two
Gentlemen of Lebowski’
Author Adam Bertocci
August 21, 2010 11:08 am
me who wrote it
2
The whole reason I did “Two Gentlemen” was as a shameless
publicity stunt to further my screenwriting endeavors; I thought,
gee, maybe if it goes viral, some young assistant in a Hollywood
office will see it, laugh, show his boss, and they’ll think, hey, this
Adam guy’s got something. I didn’t see the potential of “Two
Gentlemen” as a project in and of itself; it took the fans to clue
me into that.
[1] When Adam Bertocci’s Shakespearean reworking of The Big
Lebowski appeared on the Interwebs[2] in January of this year,
Dudeists and Lebowskians alike were collectively stoked. Here
was a masterful rendition of our holy movie as if the 16th century
Bard Dude himself had written it! Sold out performances
followed to rave reviews, and now it’s about to be released in
book form[3]. It hits the streets October 26, but you can
pre-order[4] it now.
I think a lot of writers, filmmakers, artists of all sorts have
reached moments where they realize that their audience views
their work very differently than they do. I mean, I bet when “The
Big Lebowski” itself hit theaters, all involved were assuming it
would sell its tickets and go to video and that would be that, just
like any other movie. But life had other plans.
Dudespaper: What is that you find most special or inspiring
about The Big Lebowski?
We sat down with Adam in the spacious rug-lined hallways of the
(virtual) Dudespaper headquarters and asked him some probing
questions about his “most excellent comedie and tragical
romance.”
Bertocci: I’m still discovering what’s so special about “The Big
Lebowski”! But, for me, it’s the dialogue. I got into writing
because I love to hear characters talk, and everyone in the movie
has such a distinctive voice. Someone should do a count of how
many times one character asks another, “What the fuck are you
talking about?”–because in some ways, that’s the central concern
of the movie. The way that characters pick up on the phrases
they hear from other people is a real hoot for me.
Dudespaper: Have you been surprised by the reaction to your
work? Before making such an impression with Two Gentlemen of
Lebowski, what were your ambitions?
Adam Bertocci: I need to flip through the thesaurus and find
a stronger word for “surprised”. I designed it to be the kind of
thing that would, hopefully, go viral, but so much of what
happened went completely off my radar. I didn’t expect it to go
viral the first day, that’s for certain, and I never accounted for
the notion that it could have a life outside the Web site. Part of
me entertained the fantasy that if it did go viral, some small
college theatre troupe might do the show one weekend; a far cry
from the theatrical run we had in New York. It certainly never
once entered my mind that anyone would want a book, and if the
publishing industry hadn’t contacted me I frankly would have not
have bothered to contact them.
Dudespaper: What’s your background in Shakespeare? You’re
clearly in thy element.
3
Most importantly (in my opinion, anyway), a much stronger effort
has been made to stick only to words that existed in
Shakespeare’s England. I mean, sometimes I cheat; I’m not doing
a Lebowski book without the word “nihilist”, and if a word came
up just shortly after Shakespeare’s time I’m willing to fudge. And
I know deep down that most readers aren’t terribly concerned
about that level of detail, but, some things you just gotta make
right for yourself.
Bertocci: I’m in that strange no-man’s-land with Shakespeare–I
feel I earn major points as an enthusiast but still strictly an
amateur in terms of scholarship. I took a few Shakespeare
courses in college; indeed, they were the reason I did a minor in
English lit. And I’ve read my share of books, seen a bunch of
shows and movies.
The second answer concerns things in the book that are not the
playtext. I was initially a little skeptical when approached about
a book, because I didn’t think people would want to just buy
something that they could get online for free. And even if they
would, this was also my debut in the publishing industry and
I wanted the chance to showcase a few of my talents beyond
imitating Shakespeare. Fortunately, Simon & Schuster has been
totally on board to make the book a quality project in and of
itself, it stands on its own two feet independent of the project’s
past. There’s 90–100 pages of historical illustrations,
Shakespeare scholarship, etymology, Elizabethan bowling facts
and an afterword shedding more light on the fundamental
question of the text, the Shakespearean qualities of “The Big
Lebowski”. It’s really my last chance to answer the question
about the relationship between the Bard and the Dude and I hope
I’ve made it count.
But at the same time there’s territory that I know is too highbrow
for me. I think “Two Gentlemen” will educate people a bit about
Shakespeare’s work and his times. But what I’m really trying to
communicate isn’t facts about the Bard, it’s enthusiasm. If “Two
Gentlemen” inspires a few people to check out Shakespeare on
stage or on film, then I’ve done a good thing, I think.
Dudespaper: In what ways does the published version of Two
Gentlemen of Lebowski differ from the original version you
posted on your site originally?
Bertocci: There’s two answers to your question. The playtext
itself has been revised; not deeply, but very thoroughly. It’s still
very much the thing that was posted online, no added or deleted
scenes, no glaring tamperings-with. But everything’s been given
a spit-shine and polish. A couple of lazy translations have been
reworked, scansion’s been improved. A few lines that were sort
of left unaddressed from the movie have been given the proper
Shakespearean twist.
Dudespaper: Are you planning to attend any of the upcoming
Lebowskifests?
Bertocci: Nothing is set in stone yet, but we are in contact with
the Lebowski Fest guys, who have been very kind vis-a-vis this
project, so who knows–and if you don’t see me at one in my
official capacity as the “Two Gentlemen” guy you just might see
me as a private citizen enjoying his coffee, enjoying his coffee.
I’ve actually always wanted to go to one, and now I have no
excuse. I just hope no one will judge me on my bowling skills.
I learned the hard way that it’s not a good idea to put something
online that you’re not 100% proud of, even if you tell yourself, oh,
it’s just a silly thing to amuse the Internet, no one’s going to
care. Well, people did care, and there’s certain things in the
online version I wish I’d done less lazily, and I have to live
with that.
Dudespaper: What’s your favorite scene in TBL? And what in
your version are you most proud of? Is there a favorite scene
in TGOL?
4
festivals now. And I hope once the smoke clears from “Two
Gentlemen” I can dust off the screenplays I was trying to
promote to Hollywood, and make another run at that, now that
I have achieved a little bit.
But “Two Gentlemen” gave me more than just a publicity boost, it
opened my eyes to new markets. Books, for instance. I’d love to
write some non-fiction about movies, criticism and analysis and
the like (gotta use that film degree!) and maybe now that door is
open to me.
And plays. It never in my life occurred to me to write a play, and
then “Two Gentlemen” happened pretty much by accident. Well,
I am writing a new play–and Shakespeare is involved. But best to
preserve a little mystery on that front…
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/34dje5c
[2] http://tinyurl.com/y88lq4m
[3] http://tinyurl.com/34dje5c
[4] http://tinyurl.com/34dje5c
Bertocci: My favorite scene in the movie… do you know that no
one’s ever asked me that? It kind of shuffles around. Right now
my answer would be the first scene between the Dude and
Maude, partly because I’m on a Julianne Moore kick, and partly
because I like the sense it conveys that the Dude is really getting
out of his element, meeting all sorts of strange new people and
going on tangents he can neither explain nor predict; that
“anything can happen” feel.
Jeff Bridges Gives Head(s)
for a Thousand Dollars
As for “Two Gentlemen”, my favorite scene is the epilogue.
Something just came together very beautifully for me in that;
Sam Elliott’s words fit into iambic pentameter and rhyme without
much effort, and I’ve always been fond of the Shakespearean
epilogue, in the plays that have them.
August 20, 2010 12:24 pm
I think that’s what makes this project work. It began as a joke, an
oh-wouldn’t-it-be-funny-if idea, but when I sat down and actually
did it, I was amazed at how well the film fits into certain
Shakespearean molds. That all comes from the movie, I didn’t
have to stretch to find it. That was an amazingly lucky discovery
on my part. If I’d thought to do this with any other film, I’d
probably just have an amazingly unfunny pile of movie lines with
thee’s and thou’s thrown in.
[1] By Rev GMS
This last Friday the thirteenth Jeff Bridges took the stage at the
Zen Peacemakers Symposium[2] and unabashedly announced, “I
gave Bernie a little head,” referring to Bernie Glassman founder
of the The Zen Peacemakers. He said he likes to give all his
friends a little head, saying that it deepens their personal
connection. With abandon Jeff then went on to display his little
head skills, in front of everybody. Not satisfied to stop there, he
offered to give any member of the audience a little head, for
Dudespaper: What projects are you planning to work on in the
future?
Bertocci: I’m one of those guys who tries to keep a lot of plates
spinning. I think it’s important to always have a project in the
pipeline.
I shot a short film over the summer and that’s going out to
5
a thousand dollars. Now he says he will even give you a little
head, but it’ll cost you a thousand bucks. Where have I heard
that before?
Sure getting a little head from the Duderino sounds costly, but it
is for a good cause, and you gotta figure getting a little head
from Jeff Bridges, star of so many awesome movies, has got to be
worth something. Well all proceeds are
[5] Socially Engaged Buddhism has been quietly spreading and
becoming an international force for change. It’s not necessarily
restricted to Buddhists, though the movement is based on the
Buddhist concepts of mindfulness and abiding. Both concepts are
not exclusive to Buddhism, and in those traditions labels don’t
matter anyway. So you’ll find many traditions, even completely
secular non-traditions, mingling and working towards a shared
goal of a world more abideful. Dudeism fits right in there, of
course; the Nihilists are holding the world hostage, and no Dude
can let that aggression stand.
I can wholeheartedly say this here Dudeist digs the Zen
Peacemakers style, and I have it on good authority that they dig
the Dudeist style as well.
destined to help the Zen Peacemakers in their efforts, and mighty
efforts they are. So while you bask in the after glow of getting
a little head from the most famous Dude, but you can pat your
self on the back for helping the world be a more compassionate
peaceful place.
I want to tell you more about the Zen Peacemakers[3] first, so
put your wallet away for now. Bernie Glassman and the Zen
Peacemakers have been a potent source for social good. They run
many programs and have helped lots of Dudes down on their
luck. Part of the overall Socially engaged Buddhism movement,
and an important bridge between east and west for positive
change. They bring Zen and it’s way of abiding into the American
social arena, with an open and non judgmental way.
Their Bearing Witness[4] programs are examples of Dudeist
abiding at work, they are guided by three tenets:
Not-knowing, thereby giving up fixed ideas about ourselves and
the universe
Bearing witness to the joy and suffering of the world
Loving actions towards ourselves and others
So I bet you are just about bursting with the urge to get a little
head from the Dude, and save the world, in one blissful
explosion. Well I am privy to some inside information, and I have
had to limber up my mind to keep all strands straight. But new
shit has definitely come to light. Here’s the skinny:
Yeah mang, these dudes know how to chill for a better world.
When (soon to be featured on American Masters) Mr. Bridges
has left over ceramic from other projects, he likes to sculpt little
heads with the balls of clay. They have a range of emotions, for
instance: noble, pompous, frightened, singing, and masked.
Bridges has long been giving these little dudes to his friends, but
is now working on a book project featuring these heads. The
proceeds will go to the Zen Peacemakers foundation. He will be
leasing these sculptures out on a temporary basis and they come
with documentation of your contribution. Here’s the cool part –
every so often, Jeff said, the current holders would get an
invitation to “Bring your head, let’s jam.”
6
Down Through the
Generations
August 13, 2010 8:29 am
The lease will cost a thousand smackerooskis, but with the
certificates, that warm fuzzy did something feeling and the
possibility to go and “jam” with the Dude himself…well, yeah
now I’ve go see if I can find a cash machine as well.
[1] A couple months ago when we released our Dudeism Church
Sign Generator[2], people had so much fun with it that we
realized we needed to come out with some more cool Dudeism
image generators.
Watch for official announcements forth coming on “Head for
Peace, Let All Eat” project from the crazy and wise mind of our
favorite actor. This thing has Dudely coolness all over it. Our Zen
compeers are doing the dude’s work in a way any Dudeist can
admire and support. This idea has a life of it’s own, because the
heads will be travelling the world changing hands, and having
who knows what kind of adventures. I recommend burning a J
and thinking about this while lying on your rug Dudes, it’ll blow
your mind.
Now you can have fun and games with the following far-out
designs, all of which can be easily shared on Facebook or
what-have-you:
1) Ordination Certificate Generator[3]
Generate an image of your ordination certificate and show all
your friends that you’re an ordained Dudeist Priest at the Church
of the Latter-Day Dude. Don’t worry if you’ve forgotten when you
were ordained[4] – our new tool[5] can help you find the date.
Even if you don’t have 1000 bones or clams or what have you
laying around, check out the Zen Peacemakers[6] and dig their
style. They are true Dudeist compeers.
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/yhopgnj
[2] http://tinyurl.com/yhopgnj
[3] http://tinyurl.com/35u3de2
[4] http://tinyurl.com/2v6f32b
[5] http://tinyurl.com/35u3de2
[6] http://tinyurl.com/ydlzf5w
[6] 2) Little Lebowski Urban Achiever Achievement Certificate
[7]
For those without the necessary means to the necessary means
to make their own. Comes complete with a fine etching of the
other Jeffrey Lebowski, the millionare. Shit yeah, the Achievers.
And proud we are of all of them.
3) Time Magazine Man of the Year Mirror[8]
Everyone loves the scene where the Dude looks into the other
Lebowski’s Time Magazine Man of the Year mirror and sees
“what he could have been” if he’d achieved the modest task
which was his charge. Now you can too. Just
7
You Know, Drive Around…
August 6, 2010 12:32 pm
[9]upload your photo and find yourself the most celebrated man
(or woman) of 1991.
So have fun and help spread the dude word by generating this
funny shtuff and posting it on your facebook profile.
You can also make them for your friends and post it to their
profiles – just 1) generate the image, then 2) copy the URL that
appears in your browser’s address bar and 3) post the link to
their profile page. It’s a sure cure for status update anxiety.
Gotta news feed the monkey!
By Rev. Ryan Colt Weber
Well I’ve been out of the loop awhile my fellow Dudes. I had eye
surgery and couldn’t read my damn computer. But its good to be
back. All that emotional stuff aside I have noticed one aspect of
life that needs way more of the Take ‘er Easy Manifesto applied
to it… and that’s driving. Since I don’t partake in the automotive
pastime myself I usually get rides from various people or I just
walk. When I do get a ride I see even the tamest pussycat turn
into a rabies infected lion:
“Get the hell outta my way!” “Move into the other lane dammit!”
“Why the hell is this person going so slow?” “Why is this jerk
riding my ass?” [10]
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/3xw7pj4
[2] http://tinyurl.com/24yf4xo
[3] http://tinyurl.com/36w9mku
[4] http://tinyurl.com/l8ve6h
[5] http://tinyurl.com/2v6982w
[6] http://tinyurl.com/36w9mku
[7] http://tinyurl.com/3y6a6kc
[8] http://tinyurl.com/3xw7pj4
[9] http://tinyurl.com/3y6a6kc
[10] http://tinyurl.com/24yf4xo
Now does any of that sound like someone who is takin’ er easy
for all those sinners out there? I think not. A more interesting
question is: What makes us lose our cool on the road? Is it the
fast paced society we live in? Is it our inability to directly control
what is happening around us? Maybe its the stress of knowing
that cars kill more people every day than violence and drugs
combined. Research has shown that males are generally more
aggressive on the road especially those under the age of thirty
five. They say this has to do with our hormones. Perhaps we need
to spend more time with our special ladies…I mean our fuckin’
lady friends. So the next time you get in your green and
brown…uh…rust colored car consider these helpful hints to just
take it easy man.
8
1. Leave yourself plenty of time to get where you are going. If it
takes thirty minutes to get somewhere and you leave thirty
minutes before you are supposed to be there then every slow
driver, construction barrel, and accident is going to cause you
stress. I’d advise leaving an extra fifteen minutes early
depending on how long your trip is and whether or not you are
going to hit any rush hour.
a-job-sir so we gotta get home somehow right? Well consider
finding a back way home if possible. Not only can you avoid road
rage but it will be way easier to spot a Brother Shamus in a VW
Beetle who may be tailing you at the behest of a farmer family in
Minnesota.
2. Ignore other rude drivers. You can’t control what they do or
say so just relax. If some other driver is being an asshole then
pity them but don’t react. Sadly, not everyone is going to be laid
back but don’t let others interrupt your peace of mind, on the
road or otherwise.
5. The number one thing nearly all experts agree on is to NOT
confront a hostile driver. While this aggression will not stand you
may not be standing long either if you decide to confront them.
There have been stories of road rage where a lawyer and former
state legislator belted a pregnant woman in the face! How
messed up and verrry unDude is that? 3. Have something in the car to relax you. Of course open
containers and Js are a no no in most US states so I wouldn’t
advise those. You can, however, have some Creedence or other
music to listen too or download some Big Lebowski scenes on
your iPod to listen to for good fun and peace of mind.
So keep calm dudes! Relax! I mean if the Dude himself can
remain calm while watching Nihilists burn his car, then is the
person riding your bumper on the highway THAT big of a deal?
Dudeism is meant to be applied to all aspects of life and that
includes the time you spend getting from one aspect to another.
4. Check conditions for when you are going to be driving. Studies
show that heat, noise, and traffic congestion are the three
biggest environmental contributors to road rage. It is also said
that the afternoon rush hour is by far the worst time of day to be
driving around. Now some of us had to do what our parents did
and get–
Well that about wraps her up. Westward the wagons my fellow
dudes but remember not to get too uptight in your wagon lest
you crash your plane into the mountain, die face down in the
muck, kill that poor woman, kill your fucking car, cross the
center divider in the sand, or just generally be a cleft asshole. It’s
your roll, Dude. This is not ‘Nam. Take er easy. This is especially
important if you happen to have an occasional acid flashback
while driving around.
9
Dudeism, a New Home for
Lost Hippies
touchstone, they drifted like tumbleweeds across a landscape
dominated by reactionary religions and nihilists plots.
Maintaining a take it easy attitude, and adhering to a strict drug
régime, Hippies/Dudes were seen as little more than lovable
bums, or outright criminals.
August 1, 2010 5:45 am
Eastern things still were spreading and many people began to
practice Zen, Buddhism and Taoism; Sanghas were set up and
rituals from the old world were passed down. The peace
movement regrouped and put on a more
By Rev GMS
legitimate face. Even though the happy slacker who abides is
sage-like, the reactionaries would latch on to a Dudes preferred
forms of herbal meditation and use it to deface the the overall
culture of peaceful abiding. Squares would not attack a Dude,
but in the face of this aggression they may need to distance
themselves from the Dudes, to protect the spirit of abiding. And
the rift separating Dudes from their spiritual ground widened.
Dudeism bridges a gap that developed as the Hippie movement
self destructed. When Dudes lost their spirituality, even as they
lived it, they were unaware of “abiding” and how that connected
them to this whole durned human drama. During the Hippie
movement Eastern thought met western culture at a cross roads;
human potential and freedom of expression were flourishing
along with a drug counterculture. It all joined in a swirling mass
of loving coolness. For several years things were going great,
then troubles like the DNC riots of 68, and the Hells Angels
roughing people up at a Rolling Stones gig, too many hippies
became overcome with being achievers. Anger, aggression and
addiction entered the movement which descended into the failed
“me” generation.
So where did that leave the Dudes? Well, they became a target of
the Drug War mentality, the “if you are not a square or an
achiever, then you must be no better than a crackhead who
leaves their offspring in the trash”. We almost started to believe
them, the reactionaries; we allowed them to blame societies ills
on the happy slacker, as if chillaxin’ with a doobie was going to
leave America open to
After the traumatic events of the late sixties, the movement
began to fracture, the squares took all the Zen with em’, the
Hippies were left with only the drugs. Once they lost their
altruism and spirituality, Hippies just faded away from society.
Some became disconnected solitary Dudes. With no spiritual
10
With that this newly ordained Dudeist sees a long enduring
future blossoming with Dudeism. There are so many Dudes
wondering aimlessly thinking they don’t fit with the other
theological/philosophical types, and certainly not with the
achiever types. They are still unaware that the Dude has risen.
That slacker does not automatically equate with failure or decay.
Abiding isn’t just some Eastern thing; we
economic failure and decay. Meanwhile, the paraquats were
pushing the achiever lifestyle, promising sports cars and half
naked women to whoever pursued greed and materialism.The rat
race of greed lead to needing to defend those material gains,
bringing more guns and war to our planet.
Now that science and archeology have confirmed that the Dudes
choice of herbal sacrament is both harmless to the individual,
society, and historically considered a spiritual enhancer, the
attacks by reactionaries look foolish. Now it is understood that
not all drugs and philosophies are created equal, leaving plenty
of room to stand up with an abiding attitude and defend the Dude
lifestyle. That abiding is not slacking in personal laziness; that
living a life of acceptance is key to living in a peaceful world.
I think one could even defend Dudeisms validity against some of
the worst reactionary types, at least to the point where their
head explodes with frustration, or they start throwing coffee
cups.
have been abiding for years. That waking up – the Dude can see
where he fits in, and it turns out he fits right in there, with the
other sages of old, and of the future Earth we are trying to find.
So welcome home Dudes. The Hippie movement may have died
years ago, but its spirit is reborn, and with a brand new myth to
boot. The Big Lebowski brought us the character of the Dude,
and an archetype was born, a new hero for an ancient
understanding, and the Hippie redefined. Today our western
style of abiding is set to bring some much needed chillin’ out to
the world. The slacker sage has an abiding abode in Dudeism.
TheToiletPaper.com Dude
De Ching Giveaway #2
July 27, 2010 6:10 am
Dudeism kind of brings the modern hippies, the slackers, hip,
cool, counterculture, partier types back into the Tao fold.
Demonstrating philosophy and spirituality don’t mean you have
to be a square or a reactionary, that complicated Zen rituals are
not required. Candles, a warm bath and a J will do; they will do
just fine as a personal ritual to find your Tao. Being rooted in
ancient thought and beliefs, demonstrably peaceful and kind,
yeah, man, Dudeism is the path of a sage.
11
Keep on the Sunny Side
July 25, 2010 5:41 am
By Rev. Ed Churchman
[1] Win a free copy of The Dude De Ching!
“Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side, keep on the
sunny side of life.”
Back in February we teamed up with TheToiletPaper.com[2] to
give away 30 copies of our holy book, The Dude De Ching[3].
Well, we’re doing it again – this time with 40 free copies.
Wise and Dudely words for our time, right? Of course, the
message, much like the song, has been around for a good long
while. You might be familiar with it from another Coen Brothers
movie, by the name of O Brother Where Art Thou. Great song
isn’t it? If you’re into the whole Ol’ Timey music thing, which
I very much am. But I, errr… digress, I think.
All you have to do is subscribe[4] to their very funny and
informative site and you’ll be entered in the next round-robin.
Even if you don’t win, you’ll surely find their site will make you
a smarter dude in no time fast.
The prominent message of that great song is one of PMA,
positive mental attitude. A very powerful force we have at our
command that helps boost our confidence and keep our spirits
up. Now I’m not here to tell you about the first part, because
someone’s already done that. If you want to know what can be
achieved through the confidence of PMA I’d advise you to check
out Your Own Personal Genie[1], a great article by His Italian
Dudeship, the Rev. Andrea Favro. Which just leaves us with the
spirit-boosting power of PMA to mull over right now…
If you just want to go ahead and buy[5] The Dude De Ching
anyway, it’s most modestly priced and the proceeds go to a very
dudely cause – our Little Lebowski Urban Achievers Fund[6] at
Kiva.org. Last week we disbursed the first $1000 from the sales
of the Dude De Ching and we hope to lend a lot more to people in
need. You can help by buying the book or lending your own funds
via our team.
Plus we’re also setting up a special program with
TheToiletPaper.com where Dudeist Priests pick the topic each
Duder Shabbos (Friday). Each winning topic will also win a free
copy of The Dude De Ching. We’ve got four detectives down at
the lab working on it. Got em working in shifts.
Take er easy, dudes. We know that you will. Don’t forget to enter
the contest here[7]!
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/ylcbnev
[2] http://tinyurl.com/2evuyn5
[3] http://tinyurl.com/2738ea6
[4] http://tinyurl.com/ylcbnev
[5] http://tinyurl.com/26m3j7n
[6] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[7] http://tinyurl.com/ylcbnev
So let’s look at one of our greatest role models, The Dude. Why
do you think he wearssunglasses most of the time? He even
wears them indoors and at night sometimes, but for why?
Because The Dude is blinded by his own positivity, that’s why.
His attitude is so far on the sunny side he’s in a constant daze of
12
life-giving star-glow all day, every day. Of course, when someone
pisses on your rug it’s bound to blot out the sun a bit, but if
there’s enough sunlight in your life sometimes that can overcome
the dark. “Aw man, the milk’s gone bad. Oh well, at least it’s
a nice day outside. Fuck it, let’s go take some deckchairs down to
the beach.” Gotta love the outdoor recliner, no matter what’s
befouling your rug. As I always say, “When life gives you stale
bread, make croutons!”
Generally speaking, sunlight has a positive effect on human
beings (in moderation that is, a lesson of which I already covered
here[2]). It’s a life-giving force that brings vitamins and nutrients
to us and our greens. It brings warmth to the world and light to
the natural darkness of the universe. It’s the light of the moon
and the stars, and that makes for a sight so awe-inspiring it
captured the heart of the single-most soulful artist we all know
of,
The tragic state of Finland’s unhappiness is not localized and
other places in the world in similar situations try to make the
most of it as best they can, such as Siberia and Alaska, for
example. Here in the UK there’s a strong belief in SAD, seasonal
affective disorder, where people suffer from depression in the
autumn and winter months when the sun likes to hide on the
other side of the globe. It’s something that’s never afflicted me,
but I’m not much of a sun person, being of fair skin and high in
heat-generation. But that doesn’t explain why I don’t get
depressed in the winter through lack of sun. I guess I’m just
always on the Sunnyside, sunshine or not. I mean, most of my
favorite things are indoors anyway!
Vincent van Gough. Starry starry night, sang Don McLean in
tribute, probably with a tear in his eye for ol’ Vin. Sadly, being
Dutch, Van Gough probably didn’t get his own fair share of
sunlight in life, which possibly lead to all sorts of depressive
mind states. So it Goghs.
I’d say, apart from the scientific reasons the sun makes us feel
better, the winter has always been painted in harsh colors. Back
in the olden days, y’know, before central heating, the winter was
a cruel mistress. No heat, no harvest, no horseplay of the
external variety, unless you want to catch your death of a minor
head cold that is. It’s only in the most recent years of humanity
we’ve developed ways to combat the killer season, so I guess it’s
been in our psyche since we first set out of Africa into the chilly
parts of Eurasia, and deep down that’s hard to fight… unless you
keep yourself on the sunny side, that is.
One of the biggest links to the state of happiness and depression
of a nation is the amount of sunlight it gets. Let’s look at Jamaica,
a tropical island in the Caribbean with some of the most
laid-back people in the world all lounging around on it, rocking
slowly between the palm trees in hammocks, lapping up the sun.
They’re not an overly productive lot of people, but man are they
chilled and happy. Conversely, let’s look at Finland. One of the
most utopian places to live in the world, good levels of
socio-economic equality, great healthcare, no real political
problems, and yet… one of the highest suicide rates in the world.
Sad but true. And who gets the blame? Mr Helios, the sun, that’s
who. Why? Because Finland is a northern country that’s seriously
lacking in sunshine (an average annual rate of 4.9 hours of
sunlight per day).
13
[1] http://tinyurl.com/37oecyl
[2] http://tinyurl.com/2fdytpl
Lebowski Last Supper
Giveaway
July 24, 2010 7:53 am
As we’ve just announced[1], we’re now offering tee shirts and
stuff[2] with the amazing Lebowski Last Supper[3] painting
on them.
Undoubtedly the sun cheers the soul of most folks, and lack of it
dampens the spirit, which is why we need to make our own
sunshine, just like The Dude does, or any other true Dude, for
that matter. When you’ve made your own world so bright you
need to wear shades in September you’ll know you’ve hit upon
the sort of self-made happiness we all strive for. Come rain or
shine you can smile, smile like a man wearing sunglasses indoors
at night with toilet water dripping off his face, I say!
Well, we’re also happy to announce that we’re also compeers
with those fellers on a new venture – to help encourage people to
donate to our new Little Lebowski Urban Achievers Fund[4] at
kiva.org, we’ll be awarding ten free copies of this strongly
commended artwork to the top ten donators to the fund over the
next month or so. So please stand up (or sit, or lie down) and
donate[5]. What’s more fucking interesting than a charity where
you can help people out, and still get the money back later? It is
the most modestly priced receptacle for goodness.
Now, with all that in mind, is there now any doubt in your mind
just what you can overcome when you’re on the sunny side? If
you can smile in the winter with an icicle hanging off your nose,
after the sun set three weeks ago and you can hear the timber
wolves a’howlin’ just across the snowfield, you can tackle just
about anything else. PMA is what keeps you going in those dark
times, it’s what stops you from giving up on things, holds your
head above the waters of despair. Remember, nothing is fucked
here, dudes, planes don’t crash into mountains on sunny days;
they land smoothly in Jamaica just in time for a beach party.
After all, don’t you know you have to accentuate the positive and
eliminate the negative? If you will it, it is no dream, dude.
Now, everybody, sing along!
There’s a dark & a troubled side of life
There’s a bright, there’s a sunny side, too
Tho’ we meet with the darkness and strife
The sunny side we also may view
But if you don’t want to try to make it to the finals in this contest,
we’ve got an exclusive coupon code which will get you $3.00 off
of the Lebowski Last Supper print right away[6]. Just enter the
following coupon code when you check out:
Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side,
Keep on the sunny side of life
It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way
If we’ll keep on the sunny side of life
DudenheimPosterSpecial072110
(Case-sensitive: copy it exactly for it to work)
The storm and its fury broke today,
Crushing hopes that we cherish so dear;
Clouds and storms will, in time, pass away,
The sun again will shine bright and clear…
Plus, even bigger discounts of up to $30 can be had if you buy
the more expensive versions of the painting.
Tie your room[7] together, help out[8] people less fortunate, and
Links
14
look dude[9] doing it. We’re happy to be at the table with the
Lebowski Last Supper fellers. Another round of oat sodas, Gary!
Supper” is a fabulous work of strongly commended and detailed
art. What’s more, now you can buy the painting at their site[6]
for $3.00 off with our exclusive discount code:
DudenheimPosterSpecial072110
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/2ehp6km
[2] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[3] http://tinyurl.com/lneqnn
[4] http://tinyurl.com/24dhs37
[5] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[6] http://tinyurl.com/lneqnn
[7] http://tinyurl.com/lneqnn
[8] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[9] http://tinyurl.com/2ehp6km
The Dudenheim Museum
Tee Shirt Shop!
July 22, 2010 1:46 pm
[1] If you haven’t checked out the Dudenheim Museum[2] yet,
please do. There’s some far out Lebowski-inspired art there and
we’ve been adding to it. It’s basically the Dudeist version of the
Sistine Chapel in Rome.
Lebowski Wars[7]
A parody of the original Star Wars poster but using characters
and elements from The Big Lebowski.
Big news: We’ve teamed up with some of the artists to feature
tee shirts with some of our favorite designs. If you like, please
visit our new shop at Printfection[3] to buy stuff with these
amazing, hilarious and eye-catching masterpieces. Tee shirts,
hoodies, sweatshirts, mugs, oat-soda steins and more are
available. Wear your Dudeism literally on your sleeve.
This amazing image by Matt Plog combines two of the greatest
cult films of all time into a timeless and galactic mashup.
May the Deuce be with you!
You can click on the images below to see them in greater detail.
Also, there are some cool new designs at our original tee shirt
shop[4] worth checking out. We hope you dig our style.
Lebowski Last Supper[5]
The famous internet sensation that even celebrities have been
talking about. This masterful rendition of Da Vinci’s “Last
15
Treehorn’s Pad[10]
Jeremy Rosenstein Kortes beautifully captures the world-class
lounging skills of The Dude as he relaxes at Jackie Treehorn’s
unspoiled pad. We like the way he does business.
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[2] http://tinyurl.com/29xjazo
[3] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[4] http://tinyurl.com/2cxk934
[5] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[6] http://tinyurl.com/lneqnn
[7] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[8] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[9] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
[10] http://tinyurl.com/2e5bhfz
Dudervana[8]
Jeremy Couturier’s far out rendition of Dudervana – Dudeist
enlightenment. It captures the mystical essence of Dudeism in all
its White-Russian soaked glory.
Dude, Esquire
Enlighten up!
July 22, 2010 2:46 am
[1] Esquire may be a magazine which caters to the upwardly
mobilized and sartorially superfluous, but it’s also the best of the
ad-and-cologne-sample-filled men’s magazines out there. That
may be just, like, our opinion, man. But why?
The Dawn of the Dude[9]
Cloxboy’s wild and weird imagining of The Dude, Walter and
Donnie as flesh-eating zombies. Apparently adhering to a strict
brains regimen helps keep your mind limber.
For one thing, they’ve mentioned Dudeism in one of their
previous issues[2]. Also, our dudely friend in Thailand Martyn
Goodacre[3] is their local correspondent. Furthermore, “Esquire”
is in itself an term not too far from “dude.”
16
According to Wikipedia[4], Esquire originally was “An unofficial
title of respect, having no precise significance, it is used to
denote a high but indeterminate social status.” Sounds like
something the Dude himself would self-apply. Am I wrong? Of
course, “high” is up for interpretation here.
over the world and $150 went to Kiva.org to help them keep on
keeping on.
Anyway, aside from all our other reasons, they’ve again shown
their proclivity towards things dude by posting an article called “
Is “Dude” the Most Important Word in the English Language?[5]”
While it might not have the depth of some of our Dude University
[6] scholarship, it’s a welcome addition to a semi-serious
Ph.Dude program. We’re hoping they’ll stick in a cologne sample
that smells like White Russian any day now.
[Thanks again to Jeffree Benet[7] for the heads up, dude.]
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/p72qbs
[2] http://tinyurl.com/yaup4su
[3] http://tinyurl.com/2dohkfn
[4] http://tinyurl.com/2r9e3d
[5] http://tinyurl.com/p72qbs
[6] http://tinyurl.com/24oeoth
[7] http://tinyurl.com/2fxw5n5
Dudeism.com’s Real-Life
‘Little Lebowski Urban
Achievers’ Fund
[7]Want to help? Purchase a printed copy of the Dude De Ching
here[8] or make a donation yourself via the fund[9]. In fact some
of our esteemed Dudeist Priests have already done just that. And
proud we are of all of them.
July 19, 2010 8:38 am
Dudeism just donated $1000 to Kiva.org and set up a cool
new lending team. Join us[1] now! There’s pracically no
risk and you can help lighten up the whole durn human
comedy.
Once the loan is repaid (almost 99 percent of all kiva.org loans
are), you can either take the money back or you can loan it again,
secure in the knowledge that you’re helping the less fortunate
and putting your bones or clams where your heart is.
Plus, Kiva loans are tax-deductible, which will help you get
bumped into a lower tax bracket.
Makes you feel all warm inside. Don’tcha think?
[*Note: The Dude De Ching is now being published via
Amazon.com’s CreateSpace service. Up to twice as much money
will be raised per book sold.]
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[2] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[3] http://tinyurl.com/2ft8ss4
[4] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[5] http://tinyurl.com/2bcnv2y
[6] http://tinyurl.com/2738ea6
[7] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[8] http://tinyurl.com/26m3j7n
[9] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[2]Because we here at The Church of the Latter-Day Dude[3] are
keen to help those without the necessary means for a, necessary
means for a higher standard of living (and perhaps a bit of
hard-earned takin’ er easy), we’ve started the Kiva “Little
Lebowski Urban Achievers (Dudeism)” fund[4].
As promised[5], all of the proceeds from the sale of our holy
book, The Dude De Ching[6] go to this “foundation”. We’ve
finally hit $1000 (500 copies at $2 royalty each) and have just
disbursed it all. $850 went to loans of $50 each to 17 groups all
17
Are You Happy, You
Crazy Fuck?
July 16, 2010 5:37 am
In the immortal mumblings of Great Dude in History Bob Dylan, “
It takes a lot to laugh, it takes a train to cry[1].” We’re not
entirely sure what that means, but he’s a smarter feller than
ourselves so we’ll take his word for it. But it probably has
something to do with the fact that life often sucks.
[2]
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/2f8yjod
[2] http://tinyurl.com/2437fpq
Of course, it doesn’t have to. You can either change your mind
and your ass will follow (to paraphrase George Clinton) or you
can get off the sofa (or not) and do something about it. Now
while we Dudeists are world-champions of the former, we’re by
no means averse to figuring out cases, looking for clues, and
trying to throw rocks in the game of life, the universe and what
have you.
Vote for Jeff Bridges!
July 15, 2010 2:46 pm
Still, the problem is that it’s hard to know where to start. Which
is why we found the chart below fucking interesting man. That’s
fucking interesting. Take a look at it, follow the strands and ins
and outs and see if you can’t wrap er up in good time. Good
times, Dude. We hope you make it to the finals. (Click on the
image to see it in higher resolution)
Hey this normally wouldn’t warrant a Dudespaper post but some
new shit has come to light! Gobowling.com is having a celebrity
bowler contest to induct a celebrity into the bowling hall of fame
and Jeff Bridges is at risk of losing to Justin Bieber.
Bieber is not a worthy fucking adversary. Please, for the love of
Dude, visit The GoBowling Contest Page[1] and vote for the holy
avatar of the Dude, Jeff Bridges.
You can vote once a day. So visit the page every day and vote.
We’re counting on you people! Are we the only people who give
a shit about the rules! Mark it Bridges! And spread the word to
18
your compeers.
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/25qqt2o
The Day of the Dude –
A Latter-Day Recap
July 15, 2010 6:02 am
Disheartened, but not giving up, we went straight to the bar and
ordered some white russians while waiting for the others. The
barkeep handed me what looked like a normal drink, but was in
fact the most delicious caucasian I’ve ever had. “I DEMAND you
tell me why this is so great!” I scream after the first sip. Like all
great magicians, she revealed her secret immediately.
“Ice-cream milk.”
[Insert dream sequence here]
…hanging with my entire body out of the window. I was so
invigorated! I grabbed the “oh shit handle” and hoisted myself
into a sitting position in the car window, waving and screaming
at the passing cars in the other lanes of the highway. I then
proceeded to dangle carelessly by one arm, legs kicking wildly,
smiling insanity at 60 miles per hour. My friend screams “get in
here, you’re going to get us arrested!”
Or: The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Mangs.
By Rev. Noah Hess
Fellow Dudes, please allow me to tell you… My Day of the Dude
celebration back in March did not go quite as planned. Out of my
two main friends, one had to work and the other was late to
arrive and having a miserable day. Something about a puppy,
a funeral, and some carpet-pissers’ kids she had to care for. My
secondary and tertiary friends called to say they could not make
it to the pre-party party and that they would meet us at the
bowling alley later on; no problem.
After pasta, a few caucasians and get-drunk-quick schemes, we
sped off to the alleys where, in the parking lot, I attempted to
whittle the story of The Big Lebowski into a 5 minute monologue
for my friend who hadn’t seen the movie in a few years. After
failing this and ultimately trailing off onto some tangent while
drinking heavily vodkaed fruit juice, we went into the bowling
alley and were quickly denied our dudely destiny by the
short-haired shopkeep. It appears some richer fellers than
ourselves had rented out the entire place for a private (non-dude)
party, and without a reservation, we were officially boned.
[Darkness warshes over]
…vomiting, yellow…
[What day is this? Is this a uh…?]
…the sand is cold and everywhere. In my pants, my hair, the
pockets of my pin-striped suit jacket… I crawl like a confused
alligator t’wards the fire and notice my other friend is here
suddenly (even though in actuality he’d been there several
hours). They talk like a broken tape player, slowing down and
19
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/264exl3
[2] http://tinyurl.com/2b967hu
[3] http://tinyurl.com/264exl3
[4] http://tinyurl.com/264exl3
[5] http://tinyurl.com/23wmp8m
speeding up, stopping all together at some points. Although
I can’t see it, the bosom of the Pacific Ocean is close enough to
smell. I’m happy.
[Welp, that about wraps er up.]
This is Our Concern, Dude –
The Album
You Don’t Draw Shit,
Lebowski
July 14, 2010 5:18 am
July 9, 2010 5:04 am
[1] The friendly fellas in the band Banquets [2]have allowed us
the exclusive (for now anyway) right to stream the songs from
their new album “This Is Our Concern, Dude[3].” Check them
out below!
Hey we were recently contacted by a Lebowski-loving cartoonist
named James Duncan[1]. Not only did he write an episode of his
strip[2] where he celebrates his new found Dudeism and ponders
a Dudeist Children’s Book (you know, for kids!)…
Note that while the name of the album is taken from The Big
Lebowski (they’re all really big fans), the songs don’t reference
the film in any way. Still, it’s a nice dose of punkish rock to help
keep your mind limber. Interestingly they have another version
of the album out called “Nothing is Fucked Here.”
If you want to put them on your music player or what-have-you,
you can purchase This Is Our Concern, Dude or individual songs
from it here[4]. You can also purchase the physical 7” record at
The Black Numbers[5].
Enjoy!
[3] …But importantly, he’s also got a far out series going called “
Walter and Dude’s Road Trip[4].” It’s definitely trippy! Read
them all[5] from the bottom of the page to the top for the full
chronological effect…
Lyndon B. Magic Johnson
Eleanor, I Need a Garden
What a Bunch of Aaron Burrs
It sure is fun to see all these new Lebowski-inpsired artistic
projects. On a related note, if you haven’t already checked out
the fabulous Little Lebowski[6] project over at our forum, please
I Wish I Was a Little More Lou Diamond Phillips
20
Dude Be Dude Be Dude
do so.
Also, we’ve migrated The Dude De Ching[7] to Amazon.com’s
company CreateSpace[8]. More royalties will be raised for our
Kiva.org lending team[9] this way and we’ll get better
distribution (if you like you can even order it from your local
bookstore!). Order it online here[10]. We’re almost ready to
disburse the first $1000 raised by sales from that book.
July 7, 2010 4:20 pm
Plus, there’s a play called “Much Ado About Lebrowski[11]” in
San Francisco. What’s more, our friend and contributor Rob King
is working on a board game.
Any other projects we should know about? Make us privy to the
new shit in the comments section below or via email[12].
By Rev. Hieronymous Moondog
Well…what can I say? Haven’t been DOING…make that
writing…much lately…a condition of which I am reminded
repeatedly by my compatriots at the Duder Bar. Especially Louise
as she mixes one after another…
[13] Some cool new stuff will be available at our gift shop[14]
soon. We’re even thinking of coming out with a line of
Dudeism-inspired guitars. They’ll be green with some rust
coloration. Here’s the headstock sticker (apologies to the Fender
Stratocaster). Sounds exhausting. We might just stick to Duder
Slackomaster tee shirts[15] and stickers.
Its one of those crazy, lazy, hazy days…nights…of summer
hereabouts. ‘Round Midnight on the sound system…the usual
diehards at the bar…Letterman on the TV above the bar…sound
turned off…
You can see the Dudely Lama playing his prototype Slackomaster
at a Fourth of July concert here:
Ron wanders in and sits down next to me as Louise pushes
a Caucasian across the bar to him. He looks around the room
then over at me.
(Please let play while you read the rest of the piece.)
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/27dszsz
[2] http://tinyurl.com/25n95zk
[3] http://tinyurl.com/25n95zk
[4] http://tinyurl.com/2bg8lj5
[5] http://tinyurl.com/2bg8lj5
[6] http://tinyurl.com/25g6ohc
[7] http://tinyurl.com/2738ea6
[8] http://tinyurl.com/26m3j7n
[9] http://tinyurl.com/23t5yoz
[10] http://tinyurl.com/26m3j7n
[11] http://tinyurl.com/2budgll
[12] http://tinyurl.com/246p69u
[13] http://tinyurl.com/25ubjjs
[14] http://tinyurl.com/2cpn6qk
[15] http://tinyurl.com/25ubjjs
“What’s doin’ Moondog?
“Well not much Ron…what would you have us DO? Are you
aware of some situation that needs to be attended to that we
here at the bar have somehow missed?”
“Little snarky Moondog? Too much pressure to demonstrate
21
a deep and profound chill all the time?”
Remember The Dude! We should make up a bumper sticker that
says that. That’s all you gotta do, man…Remember The
Dude…when
I make a show of exuding a huffy demeanor.
“Yeah…right. Do I look like I am succumbing to the unrelenting
coercion coming from…”
“This direction…”
Louise slides another one over then continues.
things get really shitty…Remember The Dude. When things are
great…Remember the Dude. Why that’s what this whole thing
we’re doing here is all about, man. Not to get preachy on you,
man…but…”
Everyone in the bar looks at me in silence for a long
moment…then the normal buzz resumes.
“…You know what the bumper sticker says…’What would Ernest
Tubb have done?’…”
“I expect Ernest would have said, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix
it’…sort of like the way things are around here most of the
time…take now…”
I give some thought as to why I was a little out of sorts earlier.
Too much conversation, too much thought…too much dissection
sometimes of the whole philosophico, religio, psycologico,
analytico…hey, man…you know what I’m trying to say. Too many
strands and what-have-yous crisscrossing that way and this…too
many idiotic questions about the meaning of it all…too much
endless rationale for espousals regarding lazy wisdom, hazy
wisdom,
Ron grins at my hackneyed axiom before he speaks.
“Yeah…guess if you’re not DOING something you’re just not
worth a shit…huh?”
“Booo!”
Someone down the bar chimes in.
Louise fumbles under the bar and finally pulls out two wrinkled
rolls of paper which she ceremoniously unrolls and holds up.
“Guess I’m going to have to put this back up…or maybe this…”
the implications of the fathomless chill, etc., etc., etc…
I genuinely relax as the obvious sinks in…as it always does
eventually (usually).
…when all anybody really needs to do is Remember the
Dude!…and the K.I.S.S. principle[1]…man…
“Yeah…good old Lao Tzu…and the good old Dude too, man.
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The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don’t know about you but I take
comfort in that. It’s good knowin’ he’s out there. The Dude.
Takin’ ‘er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes
the finals.
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/crpnt
No Shirt, No Socks, No
Stress
July 4, 2010 7:18 am
Humankind has evolved to shed its body fur in favour of a more
flexible option, one where we get to decide how warm we need to
be by adding protective layers of our own design and choosing.
Pretty nifty, huh? The trouble is, the world’s not always the one
big free-country we’d like and sometimes the fascists come in
and tell us what to wear. And you know I’m talking about the ‘W’
word here. No, not the smokable W, the other W… the great
put-out. As previously discussed in my article Dudeciples and the
Pan-Dudian Nation, work is a necessary thing for the world, but
what I never mentioned was that bosses weren’t!
By Rev. Ed Churchman
Well Dudes, it’s a hot one alright. Summer, huh? Seems to get
hotter every year, and from what the scientific bigwigs are
saying, it ain’t gonna about-face in our lifetime. When I first got
to thinking about writing this article it was early May and
already starting to come to a boil, but to be honest the early
heat-wave began to fry my brain, and so six weeks later here
I am with free time on a night-shift in a nice cool room able to let
my thoughts flow freely.
Is it any wonder that the most uptight people in the world are
those in high-powered jobs, who, incidentally, wear suits and
ties? There’s a reason the necktie is nicknamed the noose,
y’know. It’s the number one biggest aid to overheating a man can
have to put up with, keeping the torso fully insulated for
maximum discomfort. And, even when you loosed up a bit, you
get a blast of warm, musky air right in the face. You need the
flow, the torsal tao, Dudes. But there you go, that’s the man
keeping you down again.
And that, fellow dudes, is what I want to talk about here. How we
keep our flow going, in spite of Old Man Heat trying to piss on
our rug. Heat is a major agitator, and comes from a variety of
sources, some of which we can control. Our own worst enemy is
often our own body, and the number one way people help it cook
them is through clothing. Now your average Dude knows all
about this and has himself decked out for maximum airflow,
ventilation and breathing. It’s just good sense!
Fortunately, times are changing and most modern,
forward-thinking offices don’t have a policy for men wearing ties,
just like they don’t force women to wear skirts anymore. Now, if
we can just get them to slacken up on the whole, y’know, tucking
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in policy for shirts, we might be getting closer to a more Dudely
office environment. Corporate policy is a hard thing to fight, but
fight it we can, under the right circumstances. Now, I don’t know
who you might work for so don’t go trying anything silly, you’ll
be the best judge of your employer, but there are two ways you
can fight the noose.
1) Religious Grounds. As a Dudeist it’s part of our ethos to stay
cool at all times. A tie is simply out-and-out against our principles
if it causes discomfort. It’s an option, but if it’s going to affect
your flow and your cool, then that’s a stresspass, my friend. You
can argue that if Sikhs can carry the 5 Ks with them at all times,
breaching laws on wearing crash helmets and carrying knives,
surely a Dudeist not wearing a tie is a minor infraction on dress
code. No one’s going to tell a Sikh to take off his turban in the
office and get a hair cut, and nor should they, so why take it out
on an abiding Dudeist?
So, why do Dudes like open shirts and no socks (fashions by Jeff
Spicoli)? Because you can’t let the heat addle your brain and
stifle your body, that’s why. We know the secrets of walking
comfort. We know the way evolution intended it. If it gets cold,
throw in a robe before heading out to Ralph’s, that’s what The
Dude would do. If it gets warm open some vents in your threads
and slow yourself down, let your internal heater take a break.
We are Dudes, masters of our own cool. This summer, let us all
celebrate either the weather you love, or if you’re a pale-skin like
me, celebrate that it could be worse, if I wasn’t in tune with my
own bodily flow. Keep ‘er cool, Dudes.
2) If this calling your boss up on religious discrimination doesn’t
go down too well (especially if they’re the sort of mug-throwing
reactionary that says Dudeism isn’t a real religion) then plan B is
gender discrimination. If you can find anywhere in the dress
code that says men have to wear ties but women don’t, I think
that’s a clear case of gender inequality.
***
As a last thought, seeing as we have some summer left, and the
infamous summer holidays (vacation, break, etc) are nearly upon
us, perhaps the following link, courtesy of The Grand old Dude of
York, will help you. Wouldn’t think about going to the beach
without your jellies, would you? If you’re not into the whole
flip-flop or leather-footwear thing, and espadrilles make your feet
itch, that is. Well, thankfully, there is a place where you can get
your official imitation Jeff Bridges’ Dudewear, at lameduse.com
[1]. Thanks GODOY[2]!
There is, of course, a big chance you’ll get nowhere with either of
those arguments, in which case it’s time to undo your top button
and loosen the noose a little as a fair compromise, and hope your
paraquat of a boss doesn’t notice. Sometimes we just have to
abide the crap for a while and take comfort in the fact that
a little extra stress during the day can only enhance the
enjoyment you get when you arrive home and unshackle your
workaday bonds.
Links
[1] http://tinyurl.com/2eljmco
[2] http://tinyurl.com/4t993
Is there truly anything better than unhitching the noose from
your neck, untucking and unbuttoning that shirt and throwing
the socks in the general direction of the wash basket? The
freedom of airflow, the cutting loose, the tracendental state of
shedding your clothing down to your comfort zone. That’s why
we humans, coolest of the great apes, left out fuzz back out in
the jungle in favour of a pair of shorts and a string vest.
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