2009 - Ptd.net

The Reitz Stuff
Our 2009 Family Christmas Newsletter
Christmas reflections of 2009
As Told By THE GRINCH
and EBENEZER SCROOGE
LITITZ - Oh joy, another miserably
cheerful Christmas season is upon us, and
God help them, the Reitz family decided
to let us have a crack at their Christmas
newsletter. Scrooge and I, The Grinch,
will make sure you know every dastardly
thing this family has been up to this year.
SCHOOL SCHMOOL - Hannah has
brought her terrifyingly heart-shrinking
academic skills to third grade at Lititz
Elementary. (Oh, the humanity!) After annihilating something called “Rocket Math”
(sounds delightfully destructive!) in her
2nd grade class, she set her sights on 3rd
grade, where she scored straight A’s on her
first report card. How dreadfully brilliant!
Meanwhile, an unsuspecting preschool
class has been invaded by the sickening sweetness of that cheerful first-time
preschooler Dylan. Surely his teacher Mrs.
White, as well as his new friends in the
class, have not been fooled by his lack
of misbehavior, his attentiveness, class
participation or his galling kindness.
AWFULLY CUTE - Well at least
Hannah and Dylan no longer corner the
market on cuteness in this family. New
cousin Graycyn arrived over a month early
(Early? That never happens with this
family!) Boy, did she cause a ruckus and
many sleepless nights for new parents
Jamie and Kevin when she got here (and
Scrooge and I are BIG fans of the ruckus).
But now she’s all sweet and cute and calm
and adorable. Yuck, how perfectly awful!
GOT A MATCH? - Hannah played two
more seasons of soccer this year, with Dad
once again doing his best impersonation of
a coach. In spite of his long-winded motivational speeches and cruel, soul-crushing two-a-day practices (or maybe it was
(Top) Hannah and Dylan ran into a familiar
famil face in Lititz on Dec. 5.
(Below) Mommy and Hannah at Ocean City, Md. in August.
two-a-week), she had a lot of fun and did
very well this year. In the spring she had
her final season at the Under-8 level, and
then in the fall, she bumped up to the very
challenging Under-10 league, where they
played teams from outside the Lititz area
for the first time. The girls got along well
together (teamwork? bah humbug!), and
had some exciting matches. Coach Rick
hopes they’ll stick together in the spring,
so he can further subject them to endless
passing drills and games of peril, like
“Sharks & Minnows” or “Crab Soccer.”
BEACH NUTS - Sand in every part of
your body, jellyfish sightings, sunburn...
yes, it was another year at Ocean City,
Md., where the fun doesn’t stop until the
kids finally drop! The weather during their
late August sojurn was cooler than usual,
See 2009 on Page 2
1st Day of Preschool
Who said that?
it? Take
W hothissaidfun it,quizdidtoitseeor likes
if you know!
1. Has earned the nickname “Humming (fill in name)” at school...
a. Hannah
b. Dylan
2. Loves to eat rice & green beans...
a. Hannah
b. Dylan
3. Saw Crystal Palace of London
play a football match in Lancaster...
a. Hannah
b. Dylan
4. Digs the marble racing track...
a. Hannah
b. Dylan
5. Got eyeglasses in March...
a. Hannah
b. Dylan
6. A master of the slot machine at
Jamie and Kevin’s house...
a. Hannah
b. Dylan
ANSWERS: 1. A; 2. B; 3. A; 4. B;
5. A; 6. B
Stay in Touch!
Email us at [email protected] ... or
better yet, visit us on Facebook to get
the most current updates and occasional
wise-acre status reports.
Above: Coach and Player at the Fall soccer tournament. Hannah and
Dylan at Lititz Springs Park. Below: Celebrating Daddy’s 40th birthday.
2009: A YEAR IN REVIEW
Continued from page 1
but there’s always plenty to do at O.C., so
they were never bored: eating deliciously
unhealthy foods, riding rides, walking the
Boardwalk, golfing miniaturly, and other
beach-related pursuits of whimsy.
NIGHTMARES BEFORE X-MAS
- The Reitz family once again pretended
to be anyone but themselves for Halloween. Dylan was dreadfully adorable as
Woody from the unpopular Pixar movie
“Toy Story” (though we like that character
“Sid”), while Hannah was so-cute-you’dwant-to-gag as a bumblebee. Rick went
to the annual Lefever Halloween party as
the character Steve Martin played in “The
Jerk.” Yeah, that’s about right. (Sometimes this material just writes itself!)
MORE GOSSIP AND INNUENDO
- We were surprised to learn that Rick
turned 40 this year. Surely he’s much
older than that and is living an ageadjusted lie. ... Lisa continues to volunteer for Hannah’s class and her Brownie
troop, even chaperoning a class trip to
Landis Valley Museum and an overnight
Brownie trip to Port Discovery in Baltimore (they camped out in the place). God
bless her! ... Rick’s fantasy baseball teams
were delightfully pathetic this year, but it
seems his football team, Fearless Freep,
is still in the playoffs at press time. ... The
Reitzes enjoyed fun days at Cherry Crest
Farms (where Daddy and Hannah managed to not get totally lost and completed
the corn maze), Dutch Wonderland and
Hershey-park. Hannah even took her first
ride on the Sooper Dooper Looper. Kids
these days; so desensitized to threats of
peril and danger! ... Hannah got braces
this summer. She was also the top Girl
Scout cookie seller in her Brownie troop!
... Rick and Lisa celebrated 15 years of
marriage in May. OK, their anniversary
was actually in March, but with two kids,
you celebrate whenever you can.
We wish you all of the sickly sweet happiness that’s always in abundance during
the Christmas season, and tremendous
success (hopefully at the expense of your
enemies) in 2010!
The Reitz Stuff
Christmas 2009 Edition
Rick Reitz..... Editor Who Stole X-mas
Lisa Reitz..................Editor-in-the-Box
Hannah Reitz...SpongeBob Editorpants
Dylan Reitz.......A Really Useful Editor
Dagwood Reitz........................Copycat