Edition 3

News from the Pond
London Swans Newsletter Volume 3, 2015
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Berlin
Trip
News
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Swannies
crossword or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Secret Swanny Says
It has been a busy couple weeks down at the pond with the Season Launch and the Berlin Trip
both being held over the past week. Both events went off with a bang and there are plenty of
photographic evidence and full reports on and off the field throughout this issue. For all those who have missed the Fines action over the past 2 weeks there is also a summary
of the best of the Taxman, who will be out in full force collecting from now on.
With the season on our doorstep, there are many exciting things to look forward to and pluck
into your diary including: the ANZAC cup held at Peckham on the 18th, Round 1 and the first
home game of the season on the 25th and for those off the field, the Annual Jorts pub crawl on
the 1st of May.
While the sun is finally shining and days becoming longer trainings have now been moved to
Tuesdays and Thursdays at Baseball pitch 17 in Regents park @ 6:30, it might be advised to
use trainers or astro shoes on these days as the deck is the equivalent of a Day 2 pitch at the
WACA, so grab your gear and get down for a kick and catch in the sun.
It is also that time of year to dig deep into the Sky Rocket and pay for subs, which this year
includes socks and a polo shirt for only £70. You might as well dig a little deeper and order
your very own Swannies hoodie while you’re at it for only £25, all the cool kids are doing it!
Lastly but not least, reader feedback has indicated a need for a crossword and when the people
talk Secret Swannie listens with a very own Swans related Crossword.
You’re Welcome!
Membership Fees
With the season just around the corner its that time to dig deep and pay your subs. This
year its only £70 which includes all of the goodies listed below, so get around it early
to avoid being chased.
-Free authentic Swans Polo Shirt to wear on all occasions (including the Ball)
-A new pair of Swans socks
-Match Day Kit
-Training ground/match fees
-Footys for match and training
-Being involved with high brow elitist company on a weekly basis Send the £70 to: London Swans ARFC
Sort Code: 40-05-01
Account Code: 41707833
*It doesn't’t include fine money, which is paid to the Taxman in person
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or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Swannies Hoodies
Tired of walking through Shoreditch looking like just ‘another’ hipster? Want to stand out from the crowd and start your very own trend?
The Swannies have got the answer for you with there very own HOODIES! That’s right, the Swans HQ
have been working over time to design and produce some excellent standard hoodies produced by
Project Clothing. If you’re interested in purchasing one of these hoodies (as shown by our models) they
are £25 each (cost price) and normal sizes apply. Speak to either Ralphy or Gus to
place your order. They will be ordering in groups rather than keeping surplus so make
sure you ORDER!
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or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Pre Season Swans vs Crocs (game)
The past weekend 20 gallant Swans (plus Rhino who happened to be in Berlin) packed there bags and headed east to take on the Berlin Crocs in a pre-­‐season friendly. Berlin put perfect weather on as the Crocs welcomed the Swans with open arms. ABer taking a dead easy detour enroute to the game and some light gardening work to clear boCle caps, sEcks and broken glass from the field that closely resembled Shoreditch, the stage was set for the big encounter. The word must have got out the Swans were in town and coupled with the great weather, over 100 loud and boisterous fans flocked to Schiller Park to see the first hit out of the season. This number didn't’t include the hundreds of other Germans who stopped curiously to take notes on this “anderes” game as they walked past. The acEon got underway and it seemed like the Swans were in for a real ba4le as the Crocs took the ball from the middle to the goal in second. However, much to the disappointment of the eager locals the Swans smartly wiped away the jetlag and kicked into gear with plenty of run was being offered by new Swans Jumping Jack and Tiny Tom. The human Giraffe managed to get his hands on one early and was licking his lips for another self proclaimed bag of “12”. With the cobwebs blown out the first quarter ended with the Swans 4 goals to the Crocs 1. The second and third quarters saw the Swans taking the game on and running in lines to break through the undermanned and inexperienced Crocs ouWit. In what was a preCy even performance it was pleasing to see new and old Swans work well together in there first game. Experienced heads Gus and Girfaffe were dominate up forward and enjoying the free flowing footy coming in at pace. In there first ever games of Aussie footy, English Tom was handling himself well in the ruck despite lacking 6 inches and the experience of his opponent, while Miles was aCacking the ball hard in ge\ng down and dirty. The last quarter provided an opportunity for the Swans to change posiEons around a bit as a few people were found in unfamiliar territory. A mixture of Eredness, skills and experience meant the Swans ran away with the game eventually winning 139 – 14, however the game was a lot more compeEEve then the score suggested, with many of those goals coming late in the last quarter when the sEng was well and truly out of the contest. To avoid using the Cliché of “all played well” the beCer players of the day were Ex-­‐Swan Kelpie who was his usual hard at it self burrowing into packs and rucking solidly when Tom needed a rest, Humey was excellent rebounding off half back while providing the grunt in the middle of the park, New boy Jack was brilliant off half back providing rebound and loose opEons (even though the coach suggested that you weren't hanging around) and Young Tommy who was well composed on the wings delivering the ball with precision to the forwards. Pre Season Swans vs Crocs
For more photos of the Swans VS Crocs game go to www.berlincrocodiles.de Pre Season Swans vs Crocs
For more photos of the Swans VS Crocs game go to www.berlincrocodiles.de Pre Season Swans vs Crocs (boat race)
We all know that it’s the post game where people really make a name for themselves and in true Swan spirit, tehre was no disappointment. The impeccable hospitality of the Crocs shone through providing a crate of beers (not to menEon the complimentary half Eme lollies) as well as some of the finest German Bratwurst. Drinks and laughs were had as the Crocs and Swans soaked up the warm weather, ge\ng to know each other whilst as well thanking the great crowd for their support. The second (and argualbly most important) encounter for the day was held back at the Croc sponsor Bellushi’s. Huge pressure mounted as the boat race teams were constructed mainly of first game specialists with unknown consumpEon qualiEes. With no Big Steve in 2015, the boat race will be a much tougher challenge as everyone will need to pick up there games and fill the hole. ABer some deliberaEon the team of Kelpie, Tom, Miles, Charles and Adam were chosen to represent the Swans with pride. Picking up where the Swans leB off on the field, the dominance conEnued with a close finish (half a pint) and another win to the Swans. The rest of the night is a Blur and the flight a touch rocky but overall everyone arrived home in one piece. A huge thank you must go firstly to the Berlin Crocs for an outstanding effort in there hospitality and jager. 2015 Predictions: Conference
Team: Conference
Coming off the back of last seasons finals performance, the Conference team are looking at taking the
next step and having a fair dink’m crack at the flag in 2015. They will be missing a couple of main
stayers with Henners heading back to the land of the free and Burner supposedly retiring (until
being called upon mid season). Collectively they stand at 6ft and will only require someone of
standard height to be replaced physically, however its there verbal presence that will be hardest to
replace. The other notable change being the replacement of coaching staff with former Prem captain
and current Brit team VC Wortho stepping up to fill the large hole left by Maina. Not only will there be
extra space on the sidelines, there is an excited buzz floating around the park with reportedly a new
“run them off there feet” style of coaching being introduced. SS predicts the conference team to finish
3rd, win there way through to the final, and play off on that last day in August. In saying this, they will
still loose the boat race against the Premiers on Sunday sippers.
Individual Conference Being a studious astrologist, SS has noted that 2015 is the year of the duck, the
Disco Duck. IF you think a B&F year was the peak for the duck than think again.
Fit, firing and full of beans, expect the DD to dominate everything. As the
crossrail nears completion, we might see Humey make it to games on time and
brake some more bones which would see a huge boost for team morale. More of
the same is expected from the Tug and Tod combination as they burrow into as
many crevices as humanly possible. Uncle D is sure to start the season on fire
before drifting off in to the abyss until the smell of footy trip is in the air, and our
very own Pringa Milne to scratch around the outsides. Exciting stuff is upon us! Join us now! Find us on
or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Swans Crossword
Swan-­‐word Across 7. Nickname of preseason trip opponent 9. First name of the president 11. Swan that looks like Timmy from South Park 13. First name of treasurer and resident Giraffe 16. The city in which the Swans play 17. Amount of non-­‐aussies on the field in the Premier division 18. Pot used as tradiEonal sculling vessel used at the Swans 19. Nickname of Premier coach 20. Theme of the upcoming pub crawl in May 21. The park where the Swannies call home Down 1. The resident Kiwi at the Swans 2. Nickname of conference coach 3. The game we play and love 4. Shortest life member of Swans 5. Swans communicator ______Swannie 6. AFL team with the same nickname 8. Most hated team in the compeEEon 10. English bloke who we love to hate, hate to love 12. What you pay if you incur a misdemeanor 14. The park where the Swans train 15. pole Local pub aCended aBer home games 22. Master of ceremonies and organizer at the Swans 23. Won the most expensive fine of 2014 Join us now! Find us on
or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Fines of the week
What a week in the world of the Taxman! With the first 2 official season
social events kicking the season off in style, the Tax revenue has been
cashing in proudly. There has been an early season trend forming with the
fines in 2015, mostly stemming towards making Coach Ralphy pay up and
the Taxman himself shelling out some hard earned beans. Be aware, what
comes around goes around! Person found Guilty Offence Payment Ralphy Warming up in Sunnglasses (arrogance) £1 Tarcs Needing a speech therapist before midnight £1 Gus Pet haEng ‘Man Buns’ £1 English Tom First unofficial Swan game £1 Humey Sleeping in the Hostel corridor £1 Raplhy Thanking “fill in” Jack for the game (he is with us all year) £1 Miles Leaving Berlin Bagless £1 Tristan Captaining a Swannie win £1 Jack Dreaming of Humey bashing the door £1 Jake Token half German on trip £1 Darren DJ Catching Gatwick train to Brighton instead of London £1 Tristan Pulling Hammy in Pre-­‐season game £1 Join us now! Find us on
or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Doppelganger!
Tristan “Tugga” Thormann Fernando Alonso Join us now! Find us on
or at www.londonswans.co.uk
Recruitment 2015!
Know any of these type of people? Get them down to Swanland for a kick and a catch! Or
pester them with emails until they have to come down or file a restraining order, its
worth it!
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or at www.londonswans.co.uk
2015 Fixture and Dates
- Sat April 11 – Berlin tour @ Berlin Olympia Stadium Swans win -­‐ Sat April 18th – Pre Season Cup at Peckham. -­‐ Sat April 25th – Round 1 vs North @ Shoreditch -­‐ Sat May 2nd – May Bank Holiday BYE -­‐ Sat May 9th – Round 2 vs Prem: Wimbledon (away) Conference: Giants (away) -­‐ Sat May 16th – Round 3 vs Wandsworth @ Shoreditch -­‐ Sat May 23rd – May Bank Holiday BYE -­‐ Sat May 30th – Round 4 vs West London @ Shoreditch -­‐ Sat June 6th – Round 5 vs Putney @ Shoreditch -­‐ Sat June 13th – Round 6 vs North (away) -­‐ Sat June 20th – Round 7 (Royal Ascot) -­‐ Sat June 27th -­‐ Round 7 (Glastonbury) Prem: Wimbledon Conference: Giants @Shoreditch -­‐ Sat July 4th – Round 8 vs Wandsworth (away) -­‐ Sat July 11th – Round 9 vs Putney (away) -­‐ Sat July 18th – Round 10 vs West London (away) -­‐ Sat July 25th / Sun July 26th – Semi Finals -­‐ Sat August 1st – Prelim Finals -­‐ Sat August 8th – Grand Final
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Swans Social Calendar
The first social event of the year is almost here! Get excited ladies and gentlemen as its
going to be a cracker. While you’re at it put the other dates in your dairy!
Date
Event
25 January
London Swans Australia Day Party @ The Junction
February
Liver preparation
28th March
Season Launch @ Bavarian Beer house + Shoreditch club
11th April
Berlin Pre Season Trip @Berlin
2nd May
Jort’s Pub Crawl @ Various Locations
6th June
Ladies’ Day @ Shorepitch
11th July
Swannies Ball @ TBD
8th August
AFL London GF Day
September
End of season trip @ TBD
3 October
AFL Grand Final Party @ The Junction
November
December
Christmas Dinner @ TBC
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or at www.londonswans.co.uk