The Magic Word - Morbidia Schleppenphal

Transcription

The Magic Word - Morbidia Schleppenphal
The Magic
Word
The National Wand Association
Of America
Quarterly newsletter
APRIL, 2012
Vol. 2
Phoenix Feathers
By Handon Slammendor
It can't possibly be three months already. Has somebody been using a time turner? This has
to be an April Fool's joke.
Alas, it's no joke and no matter how much I try to deny it, the time has come for the second
issue of The Magic Word, and it's packed with some more great stuff. We have added a new Wand
Safety Rule and more wizard news stories from around the world. In fact, our researcher,
Insomneeah Phielinmeh, was so intrigued by one of the stories, she was inspired to write her own
story: “The Chronicles of Penelope Pendragon”. The “Chronicles” will be presented in a serial
format with the first installment in this issue of The Magic Word. Judging from Insomneeah's
creative writing skills, there's no telling how long the series will last.
Bureaucracies being, well, bureaucracies, the International
Ministry of Magic is once again stressing that witches and wizards
who possess the power to transform themselves into animal forms
must be registered with the Ministry. My associate, Morbidia
Schleppenphal, being a duly authorized agent of the Ministry, can
provide said witches and wizards with the necessary Registered
Animagus Identification (RAI).
Contents
“Phoenix Feathers”
by Handon Slammendor.... P. 1
“Phoenix Feathers” continued.. .............. P. 2
Wand Safety Rules...................................P. 2
Wizard News Around The World
By Handon Slammendor......P. 3
Wizard News continued...........................P. 4
Dragon's Blood-A Note of Clarification
By Handon Slammendor.......P. 4
The Quest for the Best Online Store...
By Morbidia Schleppenphal....P. 5
Exciting News from “My Hogwarts, UK”
And Pottermore
By Morbidia Schleppenphal... PP. 6,7
Quidditch News
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh....P. 8
Snedly's Culinary Delights
By Snedly..........................P. 8
Wizard's Digest:The Chronicles of Penelope
Pendragon
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh.PP.9,10,11
Closing, Staff, & Disclaimer....................P. 12
Moon Phase Calendars for April, May, and June,
2012
Since this is an official indentification document like the
IMMCCW, the RAI will bear the identification number and the
name of the witch/wizard written in enchanted dragon's
blood ink, and will also show a picture of the animal form. If
you are an animagus and you are not registered with the
IMM, I can't stress enough the importance that you register
as soon as possible. Register now, it's cheap and easy. There
is nothing more unnerving than having to fact a tribunal of
wizards and witches on a, pardon the pun, witch hunt. Visit
Morbidia's website: www.MorbidiaSchleppenphal.com
...continued on page 2
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Phoenix Feathers.... continued
Morbidia and I have been amazed at the response from wizards and witches from, literally,
around the world. The website has received hits from the UK, the Netherlands, Austria, Russia,
Germany, China, you name it. All this without advertising! But that is about to change. A
commercial is in the works, and it will soon be on YouTube, Facebook and Tumblr. Morbidia and I
will be resplendent in our wizard attire, and you will be able to bask in our magnificence. If this
generates more interest, we may have to hire more Goblin scribes and increase our supply of
dragon's blook ink.
When it comes to wands, the NWA is the “go to” organization. Our sources tell us that the
IMM is trying to limit the use of wands to only those wizards and witches who have been trained in
an accredited institution (ie.,Hogwarts). Is there any room for those wizards who have taken
correspondence or on-line courses? In the next issue of The Magic Word, we will attempt to
examine the advantages and pitfalls of “new age” versus traditional wand training.
Wand Safety Rules For Small Children
1. When you see an unattended wand, STOP, DON'T TOUCH IT, LEAVE
THE AREA, TELL AN ADULT WITCH OR WIZARD.
2. Never handle a wand without the supervision of an adult wizard or
witch. They could “go off” and cause serious damage, injury, or can
turn you into a toad!
Wand Safety Rules For Witches and Wizards
1. Be careful where you point it! There is nothing worse than having to
deal with unintended consequences.
2. Do not utter curses or spells while holding your wand unless that is
your intention. Refer to “unintended consequences”.
3. Carry your wand in a safe manner. An accidental stumble or fall
while improperly carrying a fifteen-inch long stick can, to borrow an
old expression, put your eye out...or worse.
4. Never, NEVER try to use a broken wand, especially if the core is
exposed. Do not attempt to fix it yourself. Only an experienced
wandmaker can extract the core and reinsert it into a new wand. Use
of a broken wand may (and most likely will) result in the spell being
bounced back at YOU. Not good!
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
WIZARD NEWS AROUND THE WORLD
By Handon Slammendor
********
A group of very lazy witches became tired of using a big
cauldron...too slow to cook and too hard to clean up. Now they
are known as the microwave coven. Traditionalist witches and
wizards are up in wands. The Ministry of Magic's only comment
was that it would decline making a comment.
********
********
The Ford Motor Co. has announced a resurgence in
the popularity of the Anglia. The charming little British car,
featured in a movie about child wizards, has apparently
caught the fancy of the British motoring public. “Special
orders for the car, along with blank checks, are pouring in,”
said one FoMoCo executive. He went on to say that people
should not expect the car to fly, but it will be equipped with
a turbocharger as an extra cost option.
The Ministry of Magic refused to confirm or deny reports
that it has endorsed the project.
Wizards, witches and select muggles friendly to the
magical world, who choose to do so, may obtain the
necessary enchantments and modifications to make the car
fly from British Muggle Works. Your friends at BMW, located
in Knocturn Alley, will perform all the work necessary but
caution everyone that making the car fly will void all factory
warranties. BMW, not to be confused with the German
counterpart, is under investigation by the Ministry of Magic
for excessive dealings with the muggle community. The
Ministry of Magic has instructed us to print the preceding
statement, which is as close to an official comment as we
have yet seen.
*********
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
...Wizard News continued
********
Could it be that world famous alchemist/philanthropist,
Nicolas Flamel, was the one who started the California Gold
Rush? Recently discovered documents reveal that Flamel had a
strong yearning to visit the Colonies, and he decided to use
some of his fortune to purchase some property in California, a
place called Sutter's Mill.
Although he tried hard to keep his gold a secret,
unbeknownst to Nicolas Flamel, known locally as Nick Flame,
some of his gold nuggets dropped out of his bag. A local bloke
stumbled upon one of the nuggets and in stunned disbelief
mumbled under his breath, “Gold!” In the blink of an eye the
poor man was trampled by the hordes seeking instant riches.
The whole area was besieged by prospectors and eventually
gold, real gold made by nature, was discovered. This discovery
made it easier for Nick and his wife to keep his alchemy talents
a secret (a trait not usually common for a woman at the time),
and he never had to enter a mine or pan for gold to remain
wealthy.
********
Dragon's Blood – A Note of Clarification
By Handon Slammendor
There has been a lot of controversy lately about the color of dragon blood. Some
obsessed fans of certain movies have called into question the color of the dragon blood in
some scenes as having a somewhat greenish tinge. Morbidia is absolutely distraught about
this and has requested that I address the situation.
First and foremost, we are talking about a MOVIE! Directors and producers have
been known to use artistic license on more than one occasion. They may have wanted to
apply a greenish tinge to the dragon meat in order to differentiate it from other meats, such
as beef.
Muggles, get a life. I mean, let's get real here! Anyone in the magical community
knows that dragons, as well as hypogriffs, thestrals, phoenix, etc., are all animals with ironbased blood. The only exception is the unicorn, which is a truly divine creature. Have you
ever seen a wizard with a pet unicorn? NO! Unicorns are to be revered, respected, and left
alone, untouched – when alive. Parts of unicorns may be used for potions and wands when
the unicorn has died of natural causes...BUT DRAGON BLOOD IS RED!
Please don't blame J.K. Rowling. She is doing her best, as explained in the
“Chronicles of Penelope Pendragon”.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
The Quest for the Best Online Store....
By Morbidia Schleppenphal
In our last issue we explored the best hands-on shopping
experience for the Magical Community. It is my opinion that
the best choice thus far is Whimsic Alley located in Los
Angeles, California (in the Colonies). This magical shopping
mall is conveniently located for Muggles living in California,
and for those on Holiday enjoying the many “tourist hotspots” of Southern California. For the Magical Community
living in the Colonies, apparating or flying to this enchanted
mall would prove to be a quite effortless jaunt. Some would
argue that the ultimate place to shop is The Wizarding World
of Harry Potter, in Orlando, Florida (one of the Colonies a
traveler first encounters when crossing The Pond). I agree that
this is a spectacular place, but remember that this is a Theme
Park with a very high price tag just to enter its gates. This is
certainly not the location I would choose for everyday
shopping.
www.whimsicalley.com
Physical address:
Whimsic Alley
5464 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036
With the onslaught of Muggle technology and the confuson of every day living (survival), online shopping has become
extremely popular. However, it does have its drawbacks. Not having first-hand familiarity with the item, and not
reading the descriptions carefully, many times result in receiving an article not meeting your expectations.
There are a few basic rules to follow:
1.Before your search, familiarize yourself with the item – know exactly what you require.
2.Read and understand the item description. Use your instruments of measurement to acquire a better
representation in your mind of size, volume, orientation, etc.
3.Read and understand the consumer evaluations and feedbacks.
4.Shipping and Handling – Is the cost reasonable for your standards?
5.Return policy – Does it meet your requirements?
In other words, if online shopping for you is not frustrating, you are indeed succeeding.
www.Alivans.com
Whimsic Alley has a good online store, especially if you have visited
the Mall in person and are familiar with the item. On the other hand, if
you want to have an extraordinary online experience and actually have
FUN, every Wizard, Witch, and Magical Muggle should log on to
www.Alivans.com. Alivan's is first and foremost, a maker of fine
wands by Master Wandmakers. All of their wands are handcrafted
from real wood and are reasonably priced. Each piece is truly a “work
of art” to be treasured as a family heirloom. Other handcrafted items
include walking sticks or staffs and state-of-the-art Broomsticks
which have been the number one choice for Quidditch teams
belonging to the International Quidditch Association. The Alivan's
website is a haven for clever, fun-filled, Magical, informative pages.
Go ahead and click on all the buttons – you may even win an original,
handcrafted, Alivan's wand! Whatever you do, be sure and take the
“Virtual Shop Tour”, where you can either choose your wand or have
the wand choose YOU! I chose my wand at Alivan's, and this beautiful
Wand has, on more than one occasion, proven its total allegiance to
me.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Exciting News From “My Hogwarts, UK”
and Pottermore!
By Morbidia Schleppenphal
My Hogwarts, UK is currently in a Beta Platform receiving feedback
from a chosen group of users and fine-tuning the site. It is to my
understanding that it is on schedule and will open to everyone this
June.
On February 9, 2012, all those pre-registered and on the email list for
my Hogwarts, UK received this letter from Keith D. Cardin, founder of
myHogwarts.co.uk. He has graciously given us permission to publish
his letter in this issue of The Magic Word.
************************
What is myHogwarts? Let's be frank.
WELCOME to another year at Hogwarts! (I've always wanted to shout that!)
So the internet is booming, in case you haven't noticed...
Tumblrs are rolling, tweeps are chirping and beta accounts are being traded left
and right across Facebook faster than bookie Lee Jordan at the Quidditch World
Cup.
Now that there are over 70,000 of you eagerly anticipating the release of
myHogwarts, we've started paying closer attention to the blog posts, forums and
internet ramblings of fans and opposers. We understand that because of the
large-scale operation that we're putting on, beliefs or understandings can be lost
in the midst of it... and we'd like to help clear some of the confusion and answer
a few of the assumptions and myths floating around.
What is myHogwarts?
myHogwarts serves two purposes. The first purpose we wish to serve is to
connect Harry Potter fans from around the world and establish new friendships
from this common interest -- both on the web, and offline in your local town. We
want you to realize that there are people like you, who share an usual passion for
the series and consider it "more than just a book", and give you a place to
celebrate that.
Our second purpose is to show the world that there is more to Harry Potter than
just the books and films. We can help change the world with the non-profit
organization: The Harry Potter Alliance, by helping them fight injustice in our
world, like Harry did in his. Did you know there are major Harry Potter
conventions run by the fans in both the US and the UK every year? Did you know
that there's an actual Quidditch World Cup, played by thousands of athletes and
by schools such as Yale, Harvard, Oxford and hundreds of others? Do you know
about Wizard rock, a genre of music with lyrics dedicated to the Potter universe?
Andrew Slack of the HPA says it perfectly from his TEDx Talk: "Fantasy is not an
escape from the soul of our world, but an invitation to go deeper into it."
That's what we're doing. We're not creating a roleplaying game to escape the
reality of our world, or an interactive way to read the books. We're creating a
resource -- a utility -- to connect those who want to explore the Harry Potter
series in depth.
...continued on page 7
Page 6
Here are the websites
for your inspection:
Pottermore:
www.pottermore.com
My Hogwarts:
http://www.myhogwarts.co.uk/
Email me your comments:
morbidiaschleppenphal@rocket
mail.com
...letter from Keith D. Cardin, continued from page 6
Can you roleplay on the site?
Sure.
Do you have to?
No.
Are there games or classes where you can wave your wand and create spells and magic or meet your friends in the
hallway?
No. EA Games makes Harry Potter games. There is also a Second Life SIM (unaffiliated) that does something similar to this.
Can you take in-character courses online like you do for University?
Yes. A common misconception is that the academics on myHogwarts is an experience. It is not. It's a very in-depth creative
writing element of the website that takes the canon from the books and explores it further; creating full-featured courses
from what we've only had a taste of in the books.
Pottermore was created by JK Rowling. Why create myHogwarts when Pottermore is already out there for the fans?
We are two entirely different websites that aim to deliver two entirely different experiences. Pottermore was created as a
way to experience the books by putting yourself into the story and learning more about the series chapter-by-chapter
from JKR's background notes. We at myHogwarts are creating a way to experience the series in the Muggle world, by
discussing the books and bringing some of the fiction and magic of the series to reality: such as creating a Hogwarts
Library, Choir and publications such as The Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly Magazine. We focus more on taking elements
from the series and bringing them to our world -- that is our clear difference.
The development of myHogwarts is a huge step for the Harry Potter fandom. We're finding a way to better connect fans
like you from all around the world, in order to create a place where we can all call home.
When websites and organizations like Mugglenet.com, HPEF, The Harry Potter Alliance, The International Quidditch
Association, Hypable.com, podcasts like MuggleCast and Hogwarts Radio, wizard rockers from around the world, volunteer
graphc designers, book developers, professors, writers, editors, programmers and the tons of other volunteers the
myHogwarts team has acquired -- we can truly make a network that reminds us all that it's real for us.
Sincerely,
Keith D. Cardin
==============================
founder of myHogwarts.co.uk
Follow @keithXcardin
*********************
In my opinion, the preceeding letter by Keith D. Cardin, founder of myHogwarts, clarifies everything, and
now, I am more eager than ever to be a part of this wondrous experience!
Good news from the world of Pottermore.
According to the home page of the website
and Pottermore Insider, this much anticipated
online experience will be opening to the public
in early April. The exact date is not revealed,
so I suggest visiting the site home page
frequently starting April 1st. I hope it's not an
“April Fool's thing”!
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Quidditch News
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh
That's right - the game from Harry Potter.
Adapted by Middlebury College students in
2005, Quidditch is now played at over 300
universities and high schools in the United
States and 12 other countries.So click on
the following link to The International
Quidditch Association for all the
information you want.
www.internationalquidditch.org
Jakarta, Indonesia Wins World Cup Bid?
April Fool's Joke? - Check the website and
LOL!!!!!
Aphrodesia – A Passion Drink
(original recipe by Juniper Mae)
Snedly's
Culinary
Delights
Snedly, the house elf, has been serving
the destinguished House of
Schleppenphal for countless
generations. As you can see, he is a very
congenial elf, and he will be eagerly
sharing his favorite recipes in every
newsletter. Although he harbors no ill
will towards muggles, I'd have the
dishes “taste-tested” before
consumption, just to be safe.
-Morbidia Schleppenphal
As you can see in his face, Snedly is such a romantic! He is
always preaching that Spring is the time to get those
reproductive juices flowing -”We need more pure bloods
born!”
This is Snedly's recipe for those witchy lovers out there.
You will need:
2 pinches of thyme
2 teaspoons black tea
1 pinch coriander
3 fresh mint leaves(or ½ teaspoon dried)
5 fresh rosebud petals (or 1 teaspoon dried)
5 fresh lemon tree leaves (1 teaspoon dried lemon peel)
3 pinches nutmeg
3 pieces orange peel
Place all ingredients into teapot. Boil 3 cups of water, and
add to teapot. Sweeten with honey, if you like (Splenda will
do also). Serve scalding.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Wizard's Digest......
The Chronicles of Penelope Pendragon: The Beginnings
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh
It had been a gloomy June day in the town of Guildford, and as the elusive
sun disappeared behind the dark clouds, a burst of light rain filled the early
evening. This evening, however, all the rain in England could not dampen the
spirits of a certain young girl of seventeen who stood in front of her second
story bedroom window gazing at a piece of parchment in her hands. It was a
letter, delivered by an owl, bearing the crest of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft
and Wizardry. Penelope Pendragon pulled her long brown hair away from her
eyes and read the letter once more. She had scored well on her, “N.E.W.T.”
examinations (Nasty Exhausting Wizarding Test) which had earned her an
apprenticeship in the Department of Aurors with the Ministry of Magic. Being an
exforcer of Wizard Law and protector of the Magical Community would not be
easy, not to mention dangerous. Penelope worked well under pressure and was
confident with her abilities. Little did she know that the next twenty-four hours
would bring the ultimate test that would solidify or restructure her future.
“Pen, come down for supper!” called Penelope's mum, Shara Pendragon.
“I'll be right down, Mum!” Penelope quickly ran down the stairs and into the
dining room. She took her usual seat across from her twelve-year-old brother,
Arthur, and to the left of her dad, Horacio Pendragon. There was the usual
signal from the house elf, Fembly, that the food and drinks were ready. Then
Shara whisked her wand back and forth over the table making large platters of
delicious meats, pies, and goblets of mead appear out of thin air.
“What a spread!” exclaimed Arthur as his eyes wandered hungrily
throughout the table. “Thought we'd make this a special dinner,” said Shara
happily. Horacio looked on with a silly smile on his face. Penelope's parents both
worked at the Ministry of Magic and were very proud that their daughter had
done so well and was following in their footsteps.
“Pen, I ordered a little something extra for that new car of yours.”
“Dad you didn't have to – buying the car was more than enough.”
Before Horacio could respond, Arthur interrupted, “Hey, Sis, why did you
pick that car? Blimey! One has to be really thick to pick that retro car, a Ford
Anglia! Didn't they start making it again because of that mental book and movie,
'Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets'?
And that's another thing – that squib, Rowling. Isn't she putting our world in
peril by writing books and making films about our supposed hidden society?”
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Wizard's Digest......
The Chronicles of Penelope Pendragon: The Beginnings...continued
Pen was ready to burst, her eyes tearing with anger and frustration. Her
mother quickly jumped in to stop a disastrous conversation that would certainly
end a beautiful evening.
“Arthur, it is very wrong to call J.K. Rowling a 'squib'. It is true that some
of her ancestors were wizards, but that goes back many generations! A heavy
inter-mingling with Muggles naturally diminishes offsprings with magical
abilities. And one more thing, Arthur, portraying our world in a fictional novel
was brilliant! Muggles exposed to magic would simply dismiss it, and explain it
off as a promotional movie hoax, or kids using clever illusions in their cosplay.”
Arthur was about to respond to his mother's lecture, when Shara's eyes opened
and mumbled something under her breath. Her son suddenly found himself
physically unable to open his mouth. Laughter and giggles were the overall
responses, breaking the annoying tension in the room. Penelope's father,
revitalized, returned to his conversation with his daughter.
“Like I was about to explain to you, Pen, I ordered a flying kit for your car. I read
about it in that new publication from the Colonies, The Magic Word. A car that flies and
disappears will come in handy for you as an Auror.”
Penelope's eyes were now gleaming. “Oh, Dad, thank you – I don't know
what to say.”
“Pen, you needn't say any more. You've worked very hard, and you deserve
it.”
Arthur rolled his eyes as his sister hurried to her father for a big emotional hug.
Penelope's brother had regained his ability to speak, but dared not say a word
as he felt his mother's stare straight to his soul.
“Now, Pen,” Horacio explained as he handed her a piece of parchment,
“British Muggle Works is the name of the establishment, and they are located in
Knocturn Alley, two doors south of Borgin and Burkes and right across from
some duck shipping company. I told them you'd be by tomorrow to pick up the
box. Penny, you know Knocturn Alley is a dodgy place, so I also told them you
were an Auror from the Ministry. That bit of information will gain some
immediate respect and good service.”
“I understand, Dad, but do you think I can ask Katalin to join me”
Katalin Wallace was Penelope's best friend. They had grown up together in
the same neighborhood. Yes, she was a Muggle, but also very Scottish. She did
not have many friends as a child in that very English community. Katalin and
Penelope became very close, thoroughly immersed in each other's worlds.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Wizard's Digest......
The Chronicles of Penelope Pendragon: The Beginnings...continued
“Penny, I know you can take care of yourself, and are very capable of protecting your
friend,” Horacio said with a very serious tone. “But, be aware, Pen, there have been a
rash of kidnappings of young girls, usually Muggles that are part of the Magical world
and visit Diagon Alley. Sources from the Ministry have revealed that the culprits are a
band of young dark wizards supplying Muggle smugglers with slaves for the Asian Slave
Trade. Their center of operation is yet to be found, and you'll probably be working on the
case next week when you start with the Auror's Office.”
“Yes, Dad, I've been following reports on that investigation, and don't
worry, I'll keep Katalin close to me at all times.”
Horacio, with a big grin, retorted, “Well enough said and no worries! Pen, you
have a big day tomorrow, and it's late. Go get some rest – off you pop! Arthur, you can
help Fembly clear the table.”
Arthur acknowleged his duties, and Penelope said her “good nights” to
everyone and rushed up to her room. She quickly called her friend, and they
both concurred on the plans for the next day. Sleep did not come easy due to all
the excitement, but eventually everything became a soft blur as Pen closed her
eyes.
To be continued..........
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
I leave you with this photo to ponder, and the lunar
calendars for the months of April, May, and June
(last 3 pages of newsletter). Having the stages of the
moon handy is essential to successful spells.
At your service, Morbidia Schleppenphal
STAFF
Editor and Writer: Morbidia Schleppenphal
Writer, Assist Editor and President of NWA:
Handon Slammendor
Writer and Researcher: Insomneeah Phielinmeh
The Magic Word vol. 3 will be published at the end
of June, 2012
The National Wand Association of America (NWA), the International Ministry
of Magic Concealed Carry Wand Permit (IMMCCW), and anything contained in
The Magic Word, are for entertainment purposes only and are not in any way
affiliated with the “Harry Potter” franchise, books, or films. What's theirs is
theirs, and what's ours is ours.
©2012 The Magic Word
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