The Magic - Morbidia Schleppenphal

The Magic
Word
The National Wand Association
Of America
Quarterly newsletter
April, 2013
Vol. 6
Phoenix Feathers
By Handon Slammendor
What? Again? But, but, the last Phoenix Feathers was
only...oh. I see. It was three months ago. Already? Hard to
believe, isn't it? As was famously quoted once, “Time sure is
fun when you're having flies”, said one frog to the other.
One thing for sure, though, my
associate, Morbidia Schleppenphal,
continues to astound with her many
talents and skills. The latest strain of
her talented brain is the introduction
of...(drum roll)...WANDS! Yes, now you
can have a beautiful wand, handcrafted by Morbidia Schleppenphal
herself, to go with your International
Ministry of Magic Concealed Carry
Wand permit.
Page 1
Contents
“Phoenix Feathers”
by Handon Slammendor.... P. 1,2,3
Wand Safety Rules...................................P. 4
Wizard News Around The World
By Handon Slammendor........P.,5,6
..And That's The Way It Was....
By Handon Slammendor.............P.7,8,9
The Wizard Craft Faire at Whimsic Alley
By Morbidia Schleppenphal........P. 10
Pottermore Update
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh.....P. 11
Who Has the Right Information?
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh.....P. 11
Quidditch News
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh....P. 12
Snedly's Culinary Delights
By Snedly..........................P. 13
Closing, Staff, & Disclaimer....................P. 14
Moon Phase Calendars for April, May, and June
2013
The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Phoenix Feathers continued........................
The wands are meticulously handcrafted from wood
obtained from a magical forest in China. Known by local
wizards as the Kuaizi Forest, the trees possess magical
qualities and are prized by wand makers the world over. Such
a claim cannot always be made of wands made from resin
trees.
Morbidia selects the core element to be infused into the
wand. These core elements may be Unicorn Hair, Phoenix
Feathers, Thestral Claws, or the difficult to acquire Dragon
Cornea from diseased dragons. Although the wands are
compact in size, each one is tipped with a genuine Swarovski
crystal which serves as an “amplifier” to the spell being cast.
The various combinations of wood species and core
elements, with the added element of a Swarovski crystal,
make for a powerful, distinctive wand which will select the
appropriate wizard.
Did you catch that? The wand chooses the wizard! When
you order your wand you will be asked some personal
information (i.e. birthday) to determine which wand may
choose you as its personal wizard.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Phoenix Feathers continued........................
These beautiful wands, as well as all the other IMM
certificates and documents, are available through Morbidia
Schleppenphal's website,
www.MorbidiaSchleppenphal.com
The latest to be added to the website (as I write this, can you
believe it?) is The Registry. Now your friends can procure the
perfect gift for your wedding or your “11th birthday”, such as
a Hogwarts Acceptance Letter, or License to Apparate, or
Animagus Registration, an IMMCCW, or even a wand.
His and hers wands for the blushing bride and groom wizards
would be simply magical!
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Wand Safety Rules For Small Children
1. When you see an unattended wand, STOP,
DON'T TOUCH IT, LEAVE THE AREA, TELL AN
ADULT WITCH OR WIZARD.
2. Never handle a wand without the supervision
of an adult wizard or witch. They could “go off”
and cause serious damage, injury, or can turn
you into a toad!
Wand Safety Rules For Witches and Wizards
1. Be careful where you point it! There is
nothing worse than having to deal with
unintended consequences.
2. Do not utter curses or spells while holding
your wand unless that is your intention. Refer
to “unintended consequences”.
3. Carry your wand in a safe manner. An
accidental stumble or fall while improperly
carrying a fifteen-inch long stick can, to
borrow an old expression, put your eye out...or
worse.
4. Never, NEVER try to use a broken wand,
especially if the core is exposed. Do not
attempt to fix it yourself. Only an experienced
wandmaker can extract the core and reinsert it
into a new wand. Use of a broken wand may
(and most likely will) result in the spell being
bounced back at YOU. Not good!
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
WIZARD NEWS AROUND THE WORLD
By Handon Slammendor
An enterprising wizard decided he was going to help muggles
achieve their life-long dreams. It didn't matter what those dreams were.
They could be muggles who dreamed of being rock stars, or movie stars,
or star athletes. They could be race car drivers or dancers. This wizard
was going to make their dreams come true.
Our wizard entrepreneur raided his vault at Gringott's and
purchased a remote island, a “Dream Island”, where his muggle guests
could live out their fantasies without the rest of the world knowing a
thing. He dressed in a white suit and even purchased a plane, hired a
pilot and a goblin assistant, also dressed in a white suit. Once he
advertised on the internet, his business seemed to explode! The waiting
list was months long.
Unfortunately, the wizard soon received a visit from someone other
than a typical muggle guest...a lawyer! It seems that the wizard had
practically copied the old television show, Fantasy Island, and was now
being sued for copyright infringement. Fortunately, using the “Imperious”
curse, he was able to reach an agreement with the lawyer...he would now
wear a black suit.
...You don't know why
I don't know what all the
Hullabaloo is about – we
Don't look like them at
ALL!
You summoned me
Here...but we've
Reached an
Agreement..'imperio'...
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
WIZARD NEWS AROUND THE WORLD continued....
With typical bellicose posturing by its members, the Wizengamot
once again sounded like, if you'll pardon the expression, a witch
hunt.
Sitting on the hot seat, assumed guilty until proven innocent,
was a young witch accused of being an unregistered animagus.
Shouts of “Guilty”, and “Send her to Azkaban!”, thundered throughout
the room, drowning out the pleadings from the young witch. The
reporter from the Daily Prophet couldn't contain himself and called
it...a witch hunt!
Eventually some level of calm was restored and the young witch
was smugly told she could speak in her own defense.
“I have been trying to tell you, I am not an animagus! I don't turn
into an animal!” she cried out as loud as she could. “My name is Ann
Maggis, my friends call me Annie, Annie Maggis. For God's sake I
shouldn't even be here! Get your facts straight!”
It took only moments for the facts to be verified. Annie was not
an animagus. The glow emanating from the embarrassed faces of the
Wizengamot could have provided lighting for half the city.
Which of you Squibs did the
Research on this case?!!!
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
..AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS.......
By Handon Slammendor
A recent archeological find may hold the answer to one of
the biggest mysteries of our time.
In an effort to unlock the mysterious disappearance of once
thriving civilizations such as the Maya, Aztec, Inca and Anazasi, a
team of archeologists, funded by the International Ministry of
Magic's Department of Mysteries, slashing through the thick,
steamy jungle of the Yucatan peninsula, stumbled upon a
momentous find. There, rising from the jungle floor, towering a
good twenty feet tall, stood the legendary pyramid of
Quichurbichin!
The legend of Quichurbichin is the stuff of, well, legend.
Quichurbichin was a wizard working with the court of the last
Mayan Emperor, Ajaw Kan Ek. Through a series of spells and
enchantments, he managed to keep the civilization thriving for
many years. Other wizards from other tribes made regular
pilgrimages to Nojpeten, the capital of the Mayan empire, to
learn from Quichurbichin.
When the Spanish Conquistadores arrived in the late 1600's,
Quichurbichin noticed something different about one of the
Spaniards. He sensed this Spaniard had similar powers of
wizardry. When the time was right, Quichurbichin approached
the Spanish wizard, a tall, slender man with a long white beard,
named Alfonso Lopez del Carajo (that's the name of the man, not
the beard), and despite the obvious language barrier, were able
to communicate telepathically with nothing lost in the
translation.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
..AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS.......continued...
Quichurbichin learned a great deal from Alfonso. He
learned about wands. He learned new spells. He learned how to
apparate. He learned about better weather in Europe compared
to the year-round heat and humidity of the Yucatan peninsula.
He also learned there were no human sacrifices.
Before long, Quichurbichin was able to pass on all this
information to the other local wizards who, once they learned
how to apparate, abandoned the rustic life of Mayan, Aztec, Inca,
and Anazasi civilizations for the more cosmopolitan European
cities. They were able to blend in with the local ethnic
populations since they shared similar facial features.
In appreciation for Quichurbichin's help, the last wizard to
leave the Yucatan peninsula, Xorbetannanozhar, took it upon
himself to erect the massive, twenty-foot high, pyramid,
complete with a full description of Quichurbichin's life.
Following the completion of the impressive pyramid,
Xorbetannanozhar also apparated to Europe.
The sudden loss of all the native wizards left the Mayans
and all the other tribes and civilizations without any sort of
protection from themselves or the Spaniards onslaught. On
March 13, 1697, the Spaniards attacked and occupied the Mayan
capital city of Nojpeten, leading to the rapid decline of its
civilization and its peoples. The Aztecs followed suit. Other
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
..AND THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS.......continued...
established civilizations, such as the Incas and the Anazasi, had
a larger population of wizards and were able to move their entire
civilizations to remote parts of the European continent thus
enabling them to effectively “disappear” from the western
hemisphere. Rumors of extraterrestrial involvement have been
spread by the wizarding community in an effort to draw attention
away from the actual facts.
A fresco discovered in the Great Hall inside the pyramid of
Quichurbichin (yes, there is a Great Hall, remember the pyramid
was built by a wizard), painted by none other than
Xorbetannanozhar himself, depicting the life and times of the
great Quitchurbichin.
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
The Wizard Craft Faire
at Whimsic Alley
By Morbidia Schleppenphal
www.whimsicalley.com
Handon Slammendor and I will once
again be a part of the Spring rendition of
the Whimsic Alley Wizard Craft Faire . On
the weekend of May 25th and 26th, 2013,
you will be able to procure your required
“wizard documents” without fear of
“penalties” from the International Ministry
of Magic.
Physical address:
Whimsic Alley
5464 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90036
You will have the opportunity to take home our other magically beautiful items
such as the Hogwarts Acceptance Student Pkg, Hogwarts Acceptance Pkg for Adult
Wizards and Witches, Hogwarts Certificates with Job Assignments, and the worldly
renown Schleppenphal Wand. Handon Slammendor will be conducting a very
informative membership drive for The National Wand Assocation (NWA) .
Whimsic Alley hosts the Craft Faire twice a year- in the Spring and in the
Fall. Come join Whimsic Alley and all the very talented Wizarding Vendors in a
truly Magical event!
For more information on Whimsic Alley's
glorious wizarding activities and a description of
our involvement in the Craft Faire, proceed to
their Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/whimsicalley
Whimsic Alley is located in Los Angeles, CA, and
admission is free to the Craft Faire.
(Muggles
are welcome!)
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
POTTERMORE Update
by Insomneeah Phielinmeh
“Explore the Harry Potter stories in a whole new way and discover exclusive new writing
from J.K. Rowling.”
(Pottermore)
Pottermore is definitely getting more interesting. Owners of the Sony's PlayStation 3
are now able to experience Pottermore in a virtual 3D environment. As a Pottermore.com
user, you can link your account with your PlayStation Network ID to access additional
content and spaces. For more information refer to “Pottermore Insider” at the following
address:
http://insider.pottermore.com/2013/04/step-inside-world-of-pottermore.html?utm_source=0304
Attention members of Pottermore: Chapters 1 – 15 of Prisoner of Azkaban are now
released for your enjoyment!
http://www.pottermore.com
Who Has the Right
Information?
by Insomneeah Phielinmeh
Construction has begun of our own wizarding wonderland in
Universal Studios, Hollywood, but at the rate of slower than snail mail.
The original completion date was to be in the year 2014, but now there
are reports and rumors that the date has been pushed to 2015. I even
found a current blog estimating the date of completion sometime in
2016! In these cases, the internet is just not the best source.
I will be corresponding directly with Universal Studios, Hollywood
and will have a more reliable, detailed report for you by the next
newsletter. I will obtain the info even if I must use the Imperious Curse!
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Quidditch News
By Insomneeah Phielinmeh
The International Quidditch
Association World Cup was held
April 13 and 14, 2013 in
Kissimmee, FL, USA. Your Division I
World Cup Champions, the
University of Texas-Austin (Austin,
TX) sported a 190-80 victory over
the University of California Los
Angeles (Los Angeles, CA). For
details on all the action, go to:
www.internationalquidditch.org
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The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
Snedly's
Culinary
Delights
Snedly, the house elf, has been
serving the destinguished House
of Schleppenphal for countless
generations. As you can see, he
is a very congenial elf, and he
will be eagerly sharing his
favorite recipes in every
newsletter. Although he harbors
no ill will towards muggles, I'd
have the dishes “taste-tested”
before consumption, just to be
safe.
-Morbidia Schleppenphal
Oatmeal & Ice Cream Parfait
By Snedly
Ground Beast Hamburgers
By Snedly
This recipe will drive your doctor to drink and the local
nutritionist to faint numerous times. Don't pay them any
mind – follow these instructions, and you'll have juicy,
melt-in-your-mouth, non-greasy burgers which will
reheat in the microwave, magically returning to their
original just-cooked state.
Just imagine that special
dinner for a special someone, and
you realize you forgot dessert! Not
to worry – you have instant oatmeal,
ice cream, and a can of whipped
cream (optional) – perfect!
* Choose 1 to 4 pounds of your favorite ground beast.
* In a large bowl, add one beaten egg per pound of
ground beast. (ie: 3 lbs would need 3 beaten eggs)
* Season using the following:
- sea salt
- Goya, Sazonador Total (The Perfect Seasoning)
* Mush the mixture well and form your burger patties.
* In a separate bowl beat 2 eggs to be used as a wash.
* Take your frying pan and pour Canola oil until it's
about one-half inch deep. (Must be CANOLA OIL!)
* When the oil becomes “frying hot”, dip your patties in
the egg wash and fry, fry, fry!!!!!
* Because of the eggs, your patties will magically grow
and will prevent excess oil from remaining in the meat.
* Cook one packet of instant
oatmeal – lightly sweeten with
sugar, honey, or Splenda.
* Find some nice wine glasses or
goblets (If you are magical folk,
you are sure to have goblets!)
* Layer with your ice cream, then
oatmeal, then more ice cream, and
finally whipped cream, topping it
with a cherry, grape or green
thing.
* There you have it – a gourmet
looking and tasting, emergency
dessert which took less than ten
minutes to prepare!
ASSEMBLE YOUR BURGERS AND ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Page 13
Enjoy....Enjoy....Enjoy...Enjoy...Enjoy..!!
The MagicWord
The National Wand Association
Of America
I leave you with this photo to ponder, and the lunar
calendars for the months of April, May, and June
(last 3 pages of newsletter). Having the stages of the
moon handy is essential to successful spells.
At your service, Morbidia Schleppenphal
STAFF
Editor and Writer: Morbidia Schleppenphal
Writer, Assist Editor and President of NWA:
Handon Slammendor
Writer and Researcher: Insomneeah Phielinmeh
The Magic Word Vol. 7 will be published
July, 2013.
The National Wand Association of America (NWA), the International Ministry
of Magic Concealed Carry Wand Permit (IMMCCW), and anything contained in
The Magic Word, are for entertainment purposes only and are not in any way
affiliated with the “Harry Potter” franchise, books, or films. What's theirs is
theirs, and what's ours is ours.
©2012 The Magic Word
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