emotions - Budokon MD

THE 2ND PILLAR OF BUDOKON:
EMOTIONS
INTRODUCTION
If we aren’t in control of our emotions, then we aren’t
really in control of anything. Mastering our emotions is
one of the hardest but most crucial steps we need to
take in order to take control of our lives.
e-mo-tion [i-moh-shuh n] -noun
1. A mental state that arises spontaneously
rather than through conscious effort and is often
accompanied by physiological changes; a feeling:
the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate, and
love.
2. A state of mental agitation or disturbance.
Emotions impact every aspect of our life, from our
relationships, to our careers, to our physical and mental
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health. Emotions can be so powerful that they can
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--The American Heritage Dictionary
actually cause dramatic physiological changes in our
bodies (i.e. increased heartbeat and respiration, panic
attacks, hyperventilation, hysterical crying). In extreme cases, the effects of emotional imbalances can even
lead to death. Consider the following statistics:
• Over 18.8 million Americans are diagnosed every year as clinically depressed.
• 15% of depressed people will commit suicide.
• Studies have linked depression as a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease. Some researchers
are now predicting that depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020.
• Depression also results in more absenteeism than almost any other physical disorder and costs
employers more than $51 billion per year in lost productivity, not including high medical and
pharmaceutical bills (Source: upliftprogram.org)
The bottom line is that we literally cannot afford to ignore our emotional health.
UNDERSTANDING OUR EMOTIONS
As we learned earlier, emotions come from our primitive Limbic System. They exist as a spontaneous state
separate from our cognitive process. The problem is that emotional reactivity is quicker than cognition by milliseconds, meaning our five-year-old child brain hijacks us before our adult decision-making brain even has a
chance of intervening. To begin to take control of our emotions, we must first understand what drives them.
THE AMYGDALA & EMOTIONAL REACTIVITY
The amygdala is an almond-shaped brain structure that plays a primary role in the formation, storage, and
processing of emotional reactions. As a result of evolution, many of our body’s alarm circuits are grouped together in the amygdala. The automatic bodily responses involved in emotions such as fear are controlled
mainly by the outputs of the amygdala to the nuclei of the sympathetic nervous system in the brainstem and to
the hypothalamus, which itself controls the hormonal secretions of the pituitary gland.
The connections from the amygdala to the cortex can influence attention to and perception and memory of
dangerous situations. The amygdala can also influence the cortex indirectly, through its connections to the attention system in the brainstem. When a stimulus is received and the amygdala is activated, its discharge patterns in turn activate the connecting structures in the brainstem responsible for the cascade of physiological
reactions associated with an emotion such as fear (such as increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweaty
hands, dry mouth, and tense muscles) that send feedback to the brain. When this feedback is combined in
working memory with the other “ingredients” just described, it produces the feeling of experiencing an emotion.
ACTING WITHOUT THINKING
When we say “I didn’t think. I just reacted,” we are exactly right. The amygdala lets us react almost instantaneously to outside stimuli such as the presence of a danger, so rapidly that often we startle first, and realize
only afterward what it was that frightened us. When triggered by a sensory stimulus, such as a strange shape
or a menacing sound, this message, like all information captured by the senses, must be routed first to the
thalamus. The thalamus then sends this message on to the appropriate sensory cortex (visual cortex, auditory
cortex, etc.), which evaluates it and assigns it a meaning. If this meaning is threatening, then the amygdala is
informed and produces the appropriate emotional responses.
But what has been discovered much more recently is that a part of
the message received by the thalamus is transferred directly to the
amygdala, without even passing through the cortex! It is this second
route, much shorter and therefore much faster, that explains the rapid
reaction of our natural alarm system.
SHORT & LONG ROUTE
Information from an external stimulus reaches the amygdala in two
different ways: by a short, fast, but imprecise route, directly from the
thalamus (the thalamo-amygdala pathway); and by a long, slow, but
precise route, by way of the cortex (the thalamo-cortico-amygdala
pathway).
It is the short, more direct route that lets us start preparing for a
potential danger before we even know exactly what it is. This rapid
response mechanism is useful in situations where these precious
fractions of a second can mean the difference between life and death. For example, suppose you are walking
through a forest when you suddenly see a long, narrow shape coiled up at your feet. This snake-like shape very
quickly, via the short route, sets in motion the physiological reactions of fear that are so useful for mobilizing
you to face the danger. But this same visual stimulus, after passing through the thalamus, will also be relayed
to your cortex. A few fractions of a second later, the cortex, thanks to its discriminatory faculty, will realize
that the shape you thought was a snake was really just a discarded piece of garden hose. Your heart will then
stop racing, and you will just have had a moment’s scare. But if your cortex had confirmed that the shape
really was a poisonous snake, your body’s natural reaction system could have just saved your life.
For survival purposes, the fast route from the thalamus to the amygdala does not take any chances. It alerts
you to anything that seems to represent a danger. However, since everything has its price, this route that
short-circuits the cortex (meaning no cognition is involved!) provides only a rough impression of a situation
and crude discrimination of potentially threatening objects. This pathway activates the amygdala which,
through its central nucleus, generates emotional responses before any perceptual integration has even occurred
and before the mind can form a complete representation of the stimulus.
But the cortex is not the only part of the brain that puts in its two cents by specifying the nature of the object.
The hippocampus can also come into play by giving you information about context. The hippocampus is the
structure that supports the explicit memory required to learn about the dangerousness of an object or situation
in the first place. The hippocampus is also especially sensitive to the encoding of the context associated with an
aversive experience. It is because of the hippocampus that not only can a stimulus become a source of
conditioned fear, but so can all the objects surrounding it and the situation or location in which it occurs.
CONDITIONED RESPONSE
The benefits of our body’s rapid response system
are apparent, but what happens when a stressful
day at the office, a long line at the grocery store, a
rude driver on the freeway, or a certain word or
behavior from our friends or loved ones triggers
an immediate and adverse emotional response?
We may lash out, punish, or immediately shut
down and run away before we are even fully
aware of what has happened. While the cortex
will eventually step in a few fractions of a second
later, the damage may have already been done.
In fact, the process of emotions passing through the cortex can have its
own set of problems. While the prefrontal cortex gives us the ability to
choose an appropriate course of action after the initial automatic, emotional reaction and can also enable us to exercise a certain conscious
control over our anxiety, it can also cause us suffering and create
anxiety by allowing us to imagine the failure of a given scenario or
even the presence of dangers that do not actually exist. In our daily
lives, the goal is to learn how to identify our emotional triggers and
know when we have been triggered, so we can quickly get out of
limbic reaction and into our higher order thinking. Once we are in our
higher-order thinking, we must be careful to stay in the present
moment, rather than living in the past or projecting our fears into the
future.
FEAR RESPONSE
Through various animal species have
evolved many different behavioral
responses to danger, the central role
of the amygdala in the fear response
seems to have been very well preserved in all of them. The earliest
experiments, in which the amygdala
was removed, demonstrated that its
absence interfered tremendously
with an animal’s ability to assess
danger. Later experiments, in which
electrical stimuli were applied to the
amygdala, repeatedly generated the
same well-known defense reactions
(bodily changes, inhibition, flight,
defensive attack) in several different
species of mammals.
PERCEPTION
Our conditioned response to external stimulus creates our perception,
which drive our emotions and ultimately dictates the way we view the
world. Perception is a function of combining mental associations in
the Limbic System with previously processed emotions. To recap, the
emotional content is something the Limbic System adds as a blueprint
to guide our actions in order to ensure our “survival.” Basically, the Limbic system pre-configures our
perception. Information from an external stimulus is received by the Thalamus. It is then transfered to the
Amygdala which processes incoming information for emotional content. The Hippocampus then takes that
information and searches memory. Unless the cortex (adult thinking brain) subsequently questions what the
Limbic System (child brain) is dishing up, we take what we get from that neurological process as unquestionable and unchallengeable.
CREATING OUR STORY
It may be true that the objects, events, and behaviors we see in others are actually there. All these things
travel from the outside-in to the Thalamus. The meaning we assign to what is happening, however, does not
travel from outside in. It travels from inside out. In other words, we create our own meaning.
For example, if a woman were physically assaulted by a man, there is no question that the “event” (the assault
itself) took place. Based on the circumstances and amount of force used, the physical and emotional experience of the assault (i.e. pain, fear) would undoubtedly be classified as a negative experience. It would be very
easy to also label the attacker himself as a “bad” person. But “good or bad,” we all ultimately have control over
the meaning we create from an event or experience and we control how we let that meaning affect the rest of
our lives. If the meaning we place on the assault was “all men are bad and cannot be trusted” we set up a limiting belief that will guide our social interactions for the rest of our lives. If one truly believes that all men are
bad and cannot be trusted, then logically, one would never be able to experience a trusting, intimate relationship with a man. But if we view the event as an isolated experience of one man, doing one act and give it no
other power than that, then we open up the door for the possibility of finding healthy, loving and intimate relationships with other men and people in our lives in the future.
LIMITING BELIEFS
Our past experiences create our perceptions which then leads to the creation of value judgements about objects, events, and people (i.e judging whether something is good or bad, right or wrong). If our perceptions go
unchallenged they turn into our beliefs. Our beliefs equal our validation of self and give us our sense of security in the world. The danger is that once our perceptions have turned into beliefs, we limit ourselves to only
feeling or behaving a certain way. We forget that perception is not reality. It is only one interpretation of
many interpretations. The truth is we each can chose to feel or behave any way we want. If we truly want to
lead healthy, happy, functioning lives we need to challenge our limiting beliefs and the meanings we have assigned to the events and the behaviors of those around us.
THE 5-STEP PROCESS OF REFRAMING OUR
LIMITING BELIEFS
1. Identify the limiting belief
2. Define the value judgement inherent in the belief. In other
words, what meaning are we assigning to the belief?
3. What evidence supports this belief?
4. Can this belief and the resulting value judgement hold up
under all circumstances?
5. If the limiting belief cannot hold up under ALL
circumstances, how can we then reframe the limiting belief to
create a more empowering belief?
“At the level of mind, your experience of
life is always filtered through the mind,
and governed by the mind. The mind,
which is meant to serve you, has become
the master, and the real Master is fast
asleep.”
!
!
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-Leonard Jacobson
Our perceptions and subsequently our emotions are merely a function of our brains, and not something determined by other people or events. All of the emotional pain we experience is a function of our internal process
of creating perceptions. To eliminate limiting beliefs, we simply need to reframe our perception.
THE BLAME GAME
In order to create harmony and balance in our lives and our relationships with others, we must accept that we
are responsible for our own emotional reactions. No one can make us feel anything. We feel what we choose
to feel. Accepting and taking responsibility for our own emotional reactions and our perception of the
behavior in others is the first and hardest step. We have a vested interest in being “right,” and not “wrong”
because our “rightness” is linked to our survival and worth in the world. What drives us to hold on so fiercely
to our perceptions? The Ego.
THE EGO
In our culture, the Ego has become synonymous with conceit, inflated self-esteem and self-importance. But
the word Ego is simply Latin for “I” or pure awareness. Awareness has no limitations. The “I” is supposed to
stretch to infinity. The problem is that we have taken the ego and trapped it in a small mind within a small
body. We let our culturally distorted view of reality define who we are as people and we then let our
conditioned minds guide and shape our ego. When we limit our ego to the box of our minds, it now has very
limiting guidelines to work in (remember second order change and thinking outside the box?). So it’s no
surprise that our egos are self-righteous, self-serving, and therefore so easily bruised.
According to Eckhart Tolle, “Ego means self-identification with thinking, to be trapped in thought, which
means to have a mental image of "me" based on thought and emotions. So ego is there in the absence of a
witnessing presence. There's the unobserved mind and the unobserved mind is the ego. As the witness comes
in, ego still operates. It has a momentum that is still there, but a different dimension of consciousness has come
in.”
We have allowed ourselves to identify our very being as our emotions and thoughts. We have let our small ego
run our lives. But we are not our thoughts and emotions. The small “I” is completely addicted to the drama of
life, the sensations, and the feelings. The big “I” needs to distinguish itself from thought. By freeing the ego
from the constraints of our conditioned mind, we can allow the ego to be what it truly is: awareness. And the
only way to do this is by breaking free of the identification of “me” and becoming the detached observer.
THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
How do we define our identity (is it our age, our gender, our ethnicity, our job?) and where does this identification of me start? It starts with the voice in your head.
We all have a voice in our head - a comfortable imaginary friend called “me” that talks to us inside. It takes up
occupancy in a familiar “me” position and speaks from that podium for the rest of our lives. We have imaginary conversations with others and ourselves. The talking goes on and on. Our fascination with ourselves
grows to the point where we never let up or shut up. We become so addicted to the voice in our head that after
so many years we don’t pay attention to it and take it as a given.
The voice tells us what to think and how to feel. It tells us that “Throw out all your talking, concepts,
we need to pick up the dry cleaning. But it also tells us we and word! After all, what is the mind? It
“look fat in those jeans,” or “we’re not good enough, smart is just noise that goes on inside.”
enough, or successful enough.” The voice keeps us out of the !
–Nisargadatta Maharaj
present moment by constantly bringing up the past or projecting into the future. Have you ever replayed an argument over
and over in your mind while the voice in your head is saying “gosh, if I had only said this or done that differently…” Has the voice in your head ever talked you out of doing something you always dreamed of because
“it’s not the right time” or “it’s too risky” or “it was just a dumb idea in the first place”? The pain of the past
and our fear of an imagined future keeps us in emotional limbo and prevents us from leading happier more
successful lives.
But what if we were to greet each new day as a clean slate? Who cares that our boss yelled at us on Monday.
Does it do us any good to hold on to that feeling today? To truly experience life, we need to get out of the past
and future and live in the present. The secret to controlling the voice is just around the corner, but first we
must understand where the voice comes from.
EGOCENTRIC SPEECH
Around the age of three, children often begin using a form of language called egocentric speech - where they
speak to themselves out loud and in third person as a way to explain their actions and behaviors, usually after
the actions have occurred.
Egocentric speech comes from the left cerebral hemisphere. Our left hemisphere allows us to contrast the
present by remembering the past and imagining the future. Our left hemisphere thinks in language. As Jill
Bolte Taylor, neuroanatomist and one of Time Magazine’s “100 Most Influential People in the World for 2008”
says, “It’s that ongoing brain chatter that connects us and our internal world to our external world.”
Our right hemisphere, on the other hand deals more with the present moment by thinking in pictures and
learning through kinesthetic experiences.
BRIDGING THE BRAIN’S HEMISPHERES
Egocentric speech is a function of the left hemisphere’s attempt to organize, interpret, and understand the behavior initiated by the right hemisphere and limbic system (Joseph, 1982). Because the two hemispheres of
the brain have not fully developed all of their connections yet at this age, the left hemisphere uses language to
explain the actions of the right hemisphere.
For example, first a child will paint a picture and then explain it. As she ages, she will paint a picture and explain it while she is painting. Finally, she will announce what she is going to paint, and then paints it (Vygotsky, 1962).
THE VOICE BECOMES INTERNAL
Researchers tell us that egocentric speech never disappears but becomes completely internalized in the form of
inner speech, i.e. thought. One part of the brain is literally explaining what the other part of the brain is doing. About 90% of all thought is that voice speaking.
Our critical mistake is that once the voice becomes internal, we misunderstand this dialogue as “me.” But the
voice in your head is not “you,” meaning it is not some metaphysical person living in our head. It is truly just a
function of language. It is one part of the brain interpreting what another part of the brain is doing.
THOUGHT WATCHING
The voice is not inherently bad and can be quite useful in help- “The present moment is never involved in
ing us to problem solve and function more efficiently in our thinking. Whenever you think, you must
daily lives (reminding us to pick up the kids, etc). But what be thinking of something from the past or
happens when the voice feeds us negative and disempowering something from the future.”
!
-Leonard Jacobson
thoughts? What if we had the power to instantly shut that !
voice up when it reared its ugly head? We do have the power
and we can all harness that power through a simple meditation
technique that we refer to in our curriculum as Thought Watching.
There are two simple steps in Thought Watching:
Step 1: Sit back and relax with your eyes open and wait for the voice in your head to speak.
Step 2: When you hear the voice start to speak, simply witness or observe the thought. Basically, observe
yourself experiencing a thought.
What happens when you witness the voice? The voice stops. Why? It stops because the left prefrontal area of
the brain where the voice is coming from is also the part of the brain that we use to pay attention. When we
pay attention to the voice we are using the same circuitry that we need to create the voice and we can’t do
these two things at once. Watching and thinking are two mutually exclusive things.
WITNESS CONSCIOUSNESS
When we are successful at watching our thoughts, we break into what Dr. Waller calls “Witness Consciousness.” Witness Consciousness is the state in which detachment from the identification of thought is achieved
through the observation or “witnessing” of the voice in your head. The identified thinker never identifies life
beyond the content of thought. When you watch the voice in your head, two things happen:
1. The voice immediately goes silent.
2. In that instant you are dis-identifying with the voice (because you are still there, right? Meaning when the
voice stops speaking you don’t die).
Entering into Witness Consciousness allows us to separate ourselves from thought and see through the small
ego mind. It frees us to discover our true selves by experiencing the ego in its true form, which is simply
awareness. We are awareness.
If you continue to identify with the voice, you create a story, get caught up in the drama and ultimately end up
in misery. Emotional pain comes from the meaning we create from an experience. The meaning comes from
the voice in our head.
According to Dr. Waller, Thought Watching does not tell us to stop thinking, which would be impossible. It
does, however, make a case for not taking thought seriously. Anyone can be unhappy, but the ability to make
ourselves unhappy has to be learned. Learning is the constant repetition of unhelpful thought patterns in our
heads; but more than that, it is our continued identification with thought. A thought is just a thought.
Problems are not to be solved at all. Instead, the thoughts that create them are not to be taken on. We must
pay attention to the process of problem creation rather than the content. In witness consciousness, if we watch
a thought, we find that the thought persists only if we identify with it. If we merely watch it, it ceases to exist.
Thought Watching stops problems because there is no thought left to cause a problem. The thought-pattern
may still be there but now we have the ability to recognize it and make the choice to take a different route.
THOUGHT WATCHING TIPS:
1. Practice thought watching in stress-free environments. The best time to watch your
thoughts when you are first starting the practice is during mundane activities (i.e. when you are
thinking about what to eat for dinner, when you are in the shower, when you are stuck in traffic).
Trying to watch your thoughts in stressful situations without the practice is just as frustrating
and will not produce results.
2. We’re not trying to stop thoughts. Be aware of turning thought watching into a struggle to
try to get the mind to be quiet. This won’t work. The thought stopping is merely a byproduct of
the awareness. And the awareness is what creates the transformation not the stopping. Think
of this process as like taking a shower. You don’t take a shower to get wet. You take a shower to
get clean. Getting wet is merely a byproduct of the process of getting clean. So is the thought
stopping. The thoughts stop merely as a byproduct of the awareness that watching brings.
3. Do the practice on a daily basis! Many people immediately understand the concept of
thought watching, but they want to jump ahead and not actually DO the practice. Any Zen
Meditation practitioner or Buddhist monk will tell you that meditation takes practice. It is an
active process, not something to be achieved and then forgotten. When a person stops the active
process of observing himself or herself, they are no longer conscious and are merely acting as if
they have awareness. Thought Watching is Zen Meditation. But it takes out the all the mysticism and breaks it down into scientific terms.