Be Consistent and Avoid Surprises

Parenting with Positive Behavioral Support
Be Consistent and Avoid Surprises
Make sure there are consistent and predictable routines your child can count on
throughout the day. Sometimes challenging behavior occurs because a child is
confused about what is expected or what he is supposed to do next. You can
prevent this behavior by making sure your child knows what the expectations are,
and what will happen if he uses appropriate or inappropriate behavior. It is
important for each caregiver in the family to be in agreement on how they will
handle the difficult behaviors. Take the example of bedtime for Andrew:
When Andrew is put to bed to go to sleep by himself, he cries, whines, gets
out of bed, and is destructive and disruptive in order to get his parents to
stay with him and avoid going to bed alone.
Developing a consistent bedtime routine and having consistent consequences for
the behavior will help Andrew learn what is expected of him in a given situation.
Every night we take a bath, brush our teeth, read one story with mom and
one story with dad, say goodnight, and turn the lights out. If Andrew gets
out of bed, a parent will walk him back to his room, ignoring Andrew’s
protests.
It is also important to warn your child of any potential changes in routines that
have been established. For example:
Every day when Mark comes home from school, he hangs his coat and
backpack on a hook near the door. Mark then makes a snack, and watches one
episode of Lilo and Stich before going to therapy. Mark’s family uses a
visual schedule to help him be more independent in this routine. However,
today Mark has an appointment with his pediatrician before his therapy
appointment and will not be going home between the two appointments.
Using the visual schedule, Mark’s parents tell him that morning before school
that his afternoon routine will be different. Mark’s parents present him
with a smaller visual schedule when they pick him up from school, showing
him the expected order of events, as well as telling Mark again that the
routine will be different.
Adapted from Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior Positive Solutions
For Families.
These materials were developed (in whole or in part) with a grant from the Minnesota Department of Education,
using federal funds, CFDA 84.027A, Special Education - Grants to States.
Parenting with Positive Behavioral Support
Be Consistent and Avoid Surprises
Hmong
Kev Ua Niam Ua Txiv Nrog Kev
Txhawb thiab Qhuab Qhia Kom Me Nyuam
Coj Zoo los yog Mloog Lus:
Coj Kom Xwm Yeem thiab Tseg Qhov Ua Rau Me Nyuam Yoob
Yuav tsum ua txhua yam kom raws caij txhua hnub tus me nyuam thiaj paub hais tias yuav
ua li cas ib hnub dhau ib hnub. Muaj qee zaus me nyuam tsis mloog lus vim nws tsis paub hais
tias yus xav kom nws coj li cas los sis nws tsis paub hais tias yus xav kom nws ua dab tsi
ntxiv. Thaum tus me nyuam paub tej no tas lawm, nws thiaj yuav paub hais tias kev mloog
lus thiab tsis mloog no yuav muaj dab tsi tshwm sim. Qhov tseem ceeb mas niam thiab txiv
yuav tsum koom ib lub siab ua raws tib yam thaum tus me nyuam tsis mloog lus. Piv txwv li
qhov hais txog Andrew hauv qab no:
Thaum Andrew niam thiab txiv coj Andrew mus pw mas nws yeej tsis kam pw li. Nws pheej quaj,
nyooj thiab tsoo ub no kom nws niam thiab txiv nrog nws nyob vim hais tias nws tsis xav mus pw ib
leeg.
Yuav tsum mus pw kom muaj caij thiab yuav tsum muaj kev qhuab qhia xwm yeem mas
Andrew thiaj paub hais tias thaum txog caij pw mas nws yuav tsum tau mus pw xwb.
Txhua txhua hmo ua ntej peb mus pw, peb da dej, txhuam hniav, nyeem ib zaj dab neeg nrog niam
thiab ib zaj nrog txiv, hais pw zoo rau sawv daws, thiab tua teeb tas peb mam mus pw. Yog hais tias
Andrew sawv, niam los sis txiv yuav tsum coj nws rov qab mus pw, tsis txhob ywj nws siab.
Qhov tseem ceeb koj yuav tsum hais qhia rau koj tus me nyuam paub ua ntej yog hais tias
yuav muaj tej yam ua tsis raws caij li txhua hnub xws li nram no:
Txhua txhia hnub Mark mus kawm ntawv los txog tsev, nws muab nws lub tsho loj thiab hnab ev
ntawv coj mus khuam rau ntawm tus pas khuam khaub ncaws ze ntawm qhov rooj, ces nws mam li
mus ua khoom noj txom ncauj, thiab nws mam li mus saib zaj yeeb yaj kiab Lilo thiab Stich ua ntej
nws mus kho mob (therapy). Mark tsev neeg muab ib daim ntawv teev sij hawm (visual schedule) coj
los rau nws siab thiab qhia rau nws hais tias yuav ua dab tsi txhua hnub. Tiam sis, hnub no Mark muaj
teem caij mus ntsib nws tus kws kuaj mob tas nws mam li mus kho mob (therapy) thiab mus tsev. Ua
ntej Mark yuav mus kawm ntawv tag kis ntawd, nws niam thiab txiv rov muab daim ntawv teev sij
hawm coj los rau nws saib thiab qhia rau nws hais tias hnub no nws yuav tsis ua txhua yam raws caij
nyoog li txhua hnub. Thaum Mark niam thiab txiv nkawv mus tos nws pem tsev kawm ntawv, nkawv
rov muab ib daim ntawv teev sij hawm me me rau nws saib thiab piav rau nws hais tias nws yuav ua
dab tsi rau dab tsi ua ntu zus. Tsis tas li ntawd, nkawv rov qab hais qhia rau nws hais tias hnub no
nws yuav tsis ua txhua yam raws caij nyoog li txhua hnub.
Adapted from Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior Positive Solutions
For Families.
These materials were developed (in whole or in part) with a grant from the Minnesota Department of Education,
using federal funds, CFDA 84.027A, Special Education - Grants to States.
Parenting with Positive Behavioral Support
Be Consistent and Avoid Surprises
Somali
Gacanta Waalidku ku lee yahay Dabciga Wanaagsan
Ahaw Waalid aan is Bedbeddelin Wax la Yaab lehna ka ku kicin
Hubi in maalin walba shaqadu ahaato mid aan daalaa dhac lahayn (is bedbeddelin) lana
yaqaan sida ay u qabsoomeyso, ilmuhuna yaqaanaan qaab socod keeda. Mararka qaar,
dabciga qallafsani waxaa sababa haddii ilmuhu ku jaho wareeraan waxa ay qabanayaan oo
ay is khalaafaan waxa ay sugayeen in ay qabtaan iyo waxa loo diro. Marka ilmuhu og
yahay waxa dabci ahaan laga fili karo iyo waxa dhaca haddii uu si fiican u dhaqmo ama
six un, waxaa waalidka muhiim u ah in ay isla oggol yihiin waxa laga yeelayo dabciga
qallafsan. Tusaale u qaado waqtiga hurdada ee Andrew:
Marak Andrfew la geeyo si uu us seexdo, wuu ooyaa, is dhuf-dhufta,
sariirta ka soo degaa, dhib badanna la yimaadaa si uu waalidki
ula joogo sariirtana aanu u aadin.
Waqti go’an oo Andrew loo sameeyo in uu ku seexdo iyo dhaqan lagu saxayo dabcigiisa
qallafsan oo aan is beddellin ayaa baraya isagu in uu ogaado dhibta iman karta haddii uu
six un u dhaqmo.
Habeen kasta waan qubaysannaa, ilkaha ayaan cadayannaa, hal sheeko ayaan la akhrinaa
hooyo hal sheekona aabbee, waxaan dhahnaa habeen wanaagsan, nalkana waan
daminnaa. Haddii Andrew sariirta ka soo dego, waalid baa u sii raaca qol kiisa, isaga oo
aan waxba ka soo qaadayn diidmada Andrew.
Waxaa kale oo muhiim ah in aad uga digtid ilmahaaga isbeddel kasta oo weyn horena u
jirey.
Maalin walba makr Mark yimaado guriga iskoolkna ka yimaad, jaakaddiisa iyo
boorfsadiisaba meel irridka u dhow buu suraa, ka dibna waxa uu samaystaa
cunto, wuxuuna daawadaa sheekooyinka TVga ee Lilo and Stich inta aanu aadin
daweynta. Mark qoyskoodu wuxuu isticmaalaa jadwal la fiirsado si isaga gacan
loogu siiyo n uu noqdo ruux iski isu maamula shaqadiisa maalin laha ahna
qabsada. Si kastaba ha ahaatee, manta Mark ballan buu la lee yahay takhtarka
ilmaha ka hor ballanta dawo qaadashada mana aadayo guriga inta labada
ballamood u dhexaysa. Mark waalidki baa u sheegay subaxnimadii intii aanu
iskoolka aadin iyada oo lagu tusay jadwalkii la fiirinayey in hawlihiisa galabtu
aanay sidii hore ahaan doonin maalintaas. Mark waalidki waxa ay siiyeen jadwal
yar oo uu ka fiirsan karo waxa ay tahay in maalinta uu qabanayo iyo sida
maalintaa shaqadiisii joogtada ahayd isu beddeshey.
Adapted from Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior Positive Solutions
For Families.
These materials were developed (in whole or in part) with a grant from the Minnesota Department of Education,
using federal funds, CFDA 84.027A, Special Education - Grants to States.
Parenting with Positive Behavioral Support
Be Consistent and Avoid Surprises
Spanish
Ser Padres con Apoyo de Comportamiento Positivo
Sea Consistente y Evite Sorpresas
Asegúrese de que hay rutinas consistentes y predecibles con las que su hijo puede contar a
través de todo el día. Algunas veces el mal comportamiento ocurre porque los niños estan
confundidos sobre lo que se espera de ellos y lo que se supone que deben de hacer. Los
niños deben de saber lo que es un buen comportamiento y que pasará si actúan bajo un mal
comportamiento. Es importante que los padres estén de acuerdo en como van a manejar la
conducta o comportamiento desafiante. Tome como ejemplo la hora de dormir para Andres:
Cuando se pone a Andres en su cama para que se duerma solito, el llora, se queja, se
levanta de la cama, y es destructivo para que los papas se queden con el y así evitar
dormirse por su cuenta.
Desarrollando una rutina consistente para la hora de dormir y teniendo conseuencias de
comportamiento consistentes, ayudarán a Andres para aprender lo que se espera de él en
una situación dada.
Cada noche nosotros tomamos un baño, nos lavamos los dientes, leemos un cuento
con mamá y un cuento con papá, decimos buenas noches, y apagamos la luz. Si Andres
sale de la cama, uno de los papas lo hará regresar a su cuarto , ignorando las
protestas de Andres.
Tambien es importante avisar al niño de cualquier cambio potencial en la rutina que ha sido
establecida, por ejemplo:
Cada día cuando Marcos llega de la escuela, él cuelga su chamarra y su mochila en un
perchero que esta junto a la puerta. Después Marcos se prepara un snack y ve un
episodio de Lilo y Stich antes de ir a terapia. La famila de Marcos usan un horario
visual que le ayuda a ser más independiente en su rutina. Sin embargo, el día de hoy
Marcos tiene una cita con el pediatra antes de su cita de terapia y no ira a casa
entre las dos citas. Los padres de Marcos le dijeron de este cambio de rutina en la
mañana antes de que fuera a la escuela y utilizarón el horario visual para enfatizar
que su rutina por la tarde sería diferente. Los padres de Marcos le recojen después
de la escuela, le muestran una versión pequeña del horario y le ratifican sobre el
orden de eventos que es diferente de la rutina diaria.
Adapted from Center for Evidence-Based Practice: Young Children with Challenging Behavior Positive Solutions
For Families.
These materials were developed (in whole or in part) with a grant from the Minnesota Department of Education,
using federal funds, CFDA 84.027A, Special Education - Grants to States.