A Rite of Passage for LifeRites

SPRING
2011
VOLUME X
ISSUE ONE
THE
JOURNAL
OF
BabyNamings
Handfastings
Belly Dancing
Bygones
A Rite of Passage for LifeRites
112 Malling Street, Lewes, West Sussex, BN7 2RJ
Telephone:
07823 690240
Email: [email protected]
www.liferites.org.uk
More and more people wish to celebrate the important times in their life, and ultimately their death, in their own
individual way. Our aim is to enable them to do this.
LifeRites is dedicated to serving the needs of those individuals who hold no formal religious beliefs and who seek to
affirm their life and death in a personal and individual manner by providing practical advice and guidance on Rites of
Passage and Life Celebrations, empowering people to do things for themselves. We also acknowledge the needs of
those who ascribe to Nature based spiritualities.
LifeRites respects the individual’s spiritual beliefs without judgement.
LifeRites has a network of registered Celebrants and Officiants available to conduct and advise on Ceremonies where
the individual does not wish to conduct these themselves. If we are unable to assist in a given situation, we will
endeavour to introduce the individual to an organisation better suited to their needs.
LifeRites has registered Interactive workers who will work with the terminally ill and their carers in the worker’s
own locality to provide a listening ear and non medical support in the last days.
LifeRites aim to provide suitable training for its workers. Where this is not available “in house”, we will refer
trainees to the relevant accredited bodies.
LifeRites produces a newsletter aimed at keeping subscribers informed of the Group’s work and to provide a forum
for comment and debate. In addition, we produce a series of information leaflets covering Rites of Passage and Life
Celebrations.
LifeRites is a non profit making organisation. Charges for services are made are made as per our ceremonies tariff
and other expenses such as travel are made on a case by case basis.
LifeRites is funded on annual subscription and donations basis. Monies received are used to defray administrative,
training and associated costs.
WORKING PRINCIPLES
LifeRites holds four basic principles as fundamental to all aspects of its operation. These are:
Professionalism, Service, Respect and Responsibility.
LifeRites acknowledge the right of every individual to perform ceremonies if they so wish and aims to actively
encourage them to do so. Where the services of a registered Celebrant, Officiant or Interactive worker is requested,
then these members are expected to present a professional approach in line with our code of practice and to pursue
training to gain appropriate skills for their role.
LifeRites believes that the work our members do is valuable and will ask for suitable and due fee (on a par with
other similar organisations, e.g. Humanist, Christian).
LifeRites discourages personal ego — thus we serve.
LifeRites advocates supervision in all aspects of its work. Constructive criticism and positive feedback leads to
enhanced personal practice.
LifeRites respects the beliefs and wishes of the individual but understands that we are not part of their family
(especially in bereavement). As supportive professionals we accept that our clients’ decisions are not ours, and will
accede to those choices where appropriate.
LifeRites demands the highest standards of courtesy, regard and gentleness in all aspects of our work. Our aim is to
work with integrity and openness within these principles.
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CONTENTS
SPRING 2010
VOLUME X
ISSUE ONE
A Rite of Passage for LifeRites
4
Welcome
5
Baby Naming Ceremonies
6
Alternative Gifts
9
Handfasting
10
Flashes of Inspiration
12
Bygones
14
Willow
16
Celebrating the Wisdom of Age
18
Woodland Burials
21
LifeRites Training
Back Cover
CONTRIBUTORS
Cheryl and Ming
Storm Bower
Julia Oak
Helena
The LifeRites Journal is the in-house
magazine of The LifeRites Group. It is
published quarterly. All contributions
for the journal should be received six
weeks prior to the publication date.
The closing dates are 1st March; 1st
June; 1st September and 1st December.
Articles/Images for publication must be
the work of the person submitting, or
have the author’s/artist’s permission to
publish. The editor reserves the right to
refuse
material
that
could
be
considered libellous or otherwise
unsuitable.
DISCLAIMER
All opinions expressed herein are the
opinions of the authors concerned.
Where opinions can be ascribed to the
editor, they are the editor’s and the
editors alone. Any opinions expressed
do not necessarily represent the views
of LifeRites or any other organisation,
except where explicitly stated.
All information is believed to be correct
at the time of going to press. Neither
LifeRtes nor the journal are responsible
for any errors or omissions.
SUBMITTING UNSOLICITED MATERIAL
Maximum 1500 Words
Word
processed
documents
are
preferred, though short handwritten
texts are permissible; .doc; .rtf or plain
text are acceptable.
Please No Word Art.
Images (max 3), ideally, will be .jpeg
.gif or .tiff, and approx 1M
Images and text should be emailed to
[email protected]
with
‘journal
submission’ in the subject line.
Lyn Baylis
Kathy Savage
Kate O’Malley
And YOU!!!
See our guidelines for submission 
The editor reserves the right to edit
material.
ADVERTISING
Please contact LifeRites for current
rates
FRONT COVER:
Drawing by Chloe Humphries
Chloe undertakes commissions contact her at:
[email protected]
PAST COPIES OF THE LIFERITES MAGAZINE
No part of this publication may be reproduced by any
means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or
otherwise without the express written permission of the
editor and/or original author. All items submitted remain
the copyright of the original author unless otherwise stated
‘LifeRites’ and the LifeRites logo are registered trademarks.
-3-
Unfortunately these are no longer
available; however we have introduced
‘Bygones’ where we will reprint the
best of the past articles. Do let us know
if you have a favourite.
calling in many experts to share their
experiences in their fields.
A RITE OF PASSAGE FOR
LIFERITES
LifeRites bowled along for a decade
conducting hundreds of ceremonies from
conception to funeral and training many
celebrants. In this time we saw the
development among society of the person
centred rite of passage - marking the
milestones of life in the way the individual
wished and bookstore shelves filled up with
“how to” books such as The Dead Good
Funeral Guide and other general book on rites
of passage and a growing acceptance of less
than mainstream spiritual paths.
Cheryl and Ming
LifeRites was set up in 1997 to provide
information on rites of passage, to provide a
register of celebrants to conduct them and to
train those who wished to become celebrants.
The ethos of our motto “thus we serve”
ensure that our clients are the focus of our
work and not our own egos. We provide our
time, care, skill and judgement for all paths
not only from the spiritual aspect (we will
endeavour to find out specific details if we do
not know them) but from the practical and
legal aspects as well.
In 2007 Cherry was diagnosed with cancer and
was unable to carry on her former level of
work, having to set the courses from that year
on in abeyance and while she is now restored
to health she is unable to give the totality of
commitment needed to run the organisation
again
This year Lyn Baylis, a senior celebrant with
LifeRites
from
its
inception
and
anthropological specialist lecturer on the
course has agreed to take on the full revival
of LifeRites with newsletter and residential
courses located in Sussex. Lyn and her
administrative and lecturing teams are
looking forward to the challenge.
The first course starts in May 2011 and there
are still places available.
Cherry and her husband, Ming, will not be
strangers, they have agreed to become the
external examiners for the course and will be
there at LifeRites events too.
Ming & Cheryl © 2010
For more information check our website
www.liferites.org.uk
To request our services or for any other
query please
Our course covers communication skills,
aspects of autonomy, grief, legalities as well
as the origins and dynamics of ritual
Telephone: 07823690240
Email:
[email protected]
Write to:
LifeRites Group,
The Mallings,
112 Malling Street, Lewes,
East Sussex. BN7 2RG.
Our graduates have continued as LifeRites
celebrants
or
have
branched
out
independently carrying the care and
professionalism of LifeRites with them.
From its inception the day to day running of
LifeRites was undertaken by Cherry (Cheryl)
Menzies-Runciman, and she also carried out
the role of course designer and director
-4-
to have a letters page, so do let us know what
you are doing out there, pass on useful
information on rites of passage or anything
else you feel we should know about. If you
are a budding author we would love to hear
from you, they say that there is a book inside
everyone, well , why not start with an article
for our magazine and work up to the book.
All contributions gratefully received. (aside
for all celebrants – please visualise me giving
you a Cheryl smile at this point ! )
WELCOME
Lyn Baylis
We have had two fund raisers last year, a
Halloween fancy dress Bash, which was
tremendous fun, and an belly dancing
workshop for all shapes and sizes, ages and
abilities. You really should have been there,
well perhaps not, some sights are best kept
behind closed doors. Storm Bower certainly
put us though our paces, we learnt a lot, and
laughed a lot.
It was so successful that
Storm is talking about doing another one for
us, so if you live in the Sussex area we’ll let
you know when it is booked. Do try to come
it’s £5 well spent and all profits go to
LifeRites.
Lyn Baylis © 2010
You will have noticed that our address and
website address have changed. The address
for all written communications is now:
LifeRites Group, The Mallings, 112 Malling
Street, Lewes, East Sussex BN7 2RJ and our
training courses are held at Lodge Hill Centre,
Watersfield, Pulborough, West Sussex RH220
1LZ – there are still a few places left on the
course starting May 2011, see the website for
details www.liferites.org.uk
Welcome to this, the first issue of LifeRites
magazine in quite a while. We have a new
editorial team, and a new feel to the
magazine. However, we have every intention
of keeping all the good things from previous
magazines. We will be re-running some of
the old articles you have requested, and can
assure you that the new articles will be of the
same high quality.
I’m sure you are aware that Cheryl has been
very ill over the last three years, and she has
now taken the decision to hand over the day
to day running of LifeRites to me and the
management team. However, she and Ming
will be invigilators on the courses and will still
attend LifeRites ‘ functions, and events. We
would like to publicly say thank you to both
Cheryl and to Ming for all the hard work they
put into LifeRites, all their enthusiasm and
expertise, and to warn them that if they
think they won’t be called upon for advice
and help in the future they are wrong !
We hope that being more central we will be
more accessible, and we really do look
forward to hearing from you.
Lyn
A CELTIC BLESSING:
“May the light of love shine forth on you,
on those for whom you care and on those
who care for you.
May you be ever blessed with peace and
understanding as you travel through your
life,
We hope that you, our readership, will give us
your feedback. Please tell us what you feel
could make this magazine better, and let us
know your likes and dislikes. We are hoping
And may you come to the end of your
journey in gentleness and joy.”
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We are fully aware to day that a name can
influence the way people behave towards
you, and think about you. It says who you
are to the world and, unless you make a
decision to change your name at a later date,
or are a woman and decide to take your
husbands name upon marriage, you will have
the same name all your life.
BABY NAMING CEREMONIES
Helena
In the last six months I think I have done more
baby naming than I have in the last 6 years,
so thinking that this was a new trend, I felt I
should look into it.
In 1994, The International year of the family,
Lord Michael Young and Rosie Styles
established the Baby Naming Society (BNS)
and although there is no legal requirement for
a naming ceremony, Jack Straw, then Home
Secretary, set up a procedure in 1998 to
enabled every local registry office to hold
baby naming ceremonies.
A registry office is the obvious choice for
those families who want to celebrate the
naming of their child with a non-religious
ceremony. However, it is perfectly possible
to hold a meaningful religious or nonereligious ceremony anywhere that you choose,
including your own home or garden.
A naming ceremony, as with all rites of
passage, can be as simple or as complex as
the participants want. At one level it is a
wonderful reason to get all the family and
friends together to celebrate the birth of the
child. At another level it can be viewed as a
very spiritual time, and a time when friends
and family gather to show their love and
support to both the new arrival and the new
parents.
Image in Public Domain
Baby Namings have been around for a number
of years in the West, but in many of the
world’s cultures they go back much further.
There is evidence to show that in the ancient
world the naming of a child was part of a
much bigger and very sacred ceremony. A
time when parents acknowledged the child as
their own proclaiming its place within the
family dynasty, while at the same time
recognising that their child was no longer a
part of the mother, or an extension of
themselves, but a separate individual, with
its own soul, identity and name. The name
given to a child established its importance not
only in the family but in the wider
community.
The Name itself was so
important that even the poorest of families
would consult astrologers, or the local wise
woman, to ensure that the name they gave
their child would be beneficial. There is also
an ancient belief that a child’s name is the
cornerstone in the formation of its character.
As a LifeRites Celebrant I see my function as
similar to that of a weaver. I listen to the
parents talking about their vision of the day,
where it will be held, who has been invited, if
there are to be god-parents, or adults with
similar standing and if so who they will be. (I
use the name God-parent throughout this
article as it is the name most people
recognize, but there are a number of other
names for example, Spiritual Guardian, or
Protector. People should use the one they
feel is most suited to them)
Occasionally I ask questions to clarify their
needs, taking careful note of what they feel is
most important to them and to their family. I
ask about their spirituality or non-spiritual
beliefs and how significant these are to the
ceremony.
Then when I have gathered all
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the information I walk back with them
through the practicalities of the chosen
venue, any spiritual dimensions, and their
vision of the ceremony.
If there are any
matters, which from my experience, I think
may cause problems, for example, the lack of
seating for elderly relatives I will point these
out. I may make the odd suggestion but only
when I believe that this will enhance their
ceremony and is entirely in keeping with their
aims, and I put forward these suggestions in a
way that they will find easy to reject if they
so wish. Once we have talked the entire
ceremony through and the parents are happy
with the ideas we have discussed I go away
with the chosen words, songs, readings, and
poems and weave them into the first draft of
a ceremony which I hope will give this event a
sense of ceremony and ritual, and will make
this naming ceremony a very special day for
all concerned.
If it is possible I will email
the first draft to them, if they are not on
internet then I have to print it out and send it
snail mail. Which ever way they receive it, I
make it very clear to them that it is only the
first draft and I will not be offended if they
add, subtract, alter or change this in any way.
After a little to-ing and fro-ing between us we
arrive at a ceremony that is just right for
them.
With the hard work done, all that is left for
me to do is to print out copies of the
ceremony for myself and the parents, print
out any words to be spoken by others onto
card and to turn up on the day in appropriate
dress and officiate.
Occasionally I get called to see a couple who,
while liking the idea of a naming ceremony,
have absolutely no idea what to include or
how the ceremony should be crafted. In
these cases I talk to them about naming
ceremonies I have undertaken; giving them
examples of a variety of styles, beliefs and
ideas. Then I follow the same procedure,
getting to know them as people and as
parents. Finding out if they are at all religious
or non-religious and their view on whether
they want god-parents or similar and we go
from there.
Asked what I believe should be included in a
naming ceremony I would list them as below
in probable sequence order:
© 2010 Sias van Schalkwyk
[email protected]
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•
A welcoming by the celebrant to
friends and family, and an explanation
of what is about to happen.
•
A few words from the parents about
why they chose the name and what, if
any, special significance it has for
them.
•
Parents holding the child aloft will
introduce their child officially to the
gathered congregation (and Their
God/Gods or Goddess, or other
spiritual beings – if they so desire)
•
Parents make their promises to their
child. This can be as simple as a
promise
“to be always there, to
provide love and shelter,” Often at this
time they also present their child with
a special gift from them.
•
The parents or the celebrant introduce
the God-parents (if required) these are
people the parents choose from
amongst their family and friends.
People who they feel will enhance
their child’s life, and look after them
at some level in the future. The Godparents in turn will make their
promises to the child, sometimes giving
a small token gift, or a poem or
reading which will be kept by the
parents until the child is old enough to
treasure it. (Occasionally parents take
this opportunity to inform the rest of
their family that in the event of any
“unforeseen happening “the Godparents, or x and y will not only stand
as God-parents but as Legal Guardian
for their child).
NETTLE BE NICE TO NETTLE WEEK 18-29 MAY
Julia Oak
The common nettle that stings has almost as
many uses as onions! It has been known to man
since prehistoric times. The bones of a Bronze
Aged Dane were found wrapped in fabric made
from nettle fibres. Today those aged old
practices are being rediscovered.
In the spring the nettles are just beginning to
make a show, this is the best time to pick the
young leaves and use them for nettle tea, It is
possible to dry them, and as with many herbs,
used for cooking, it is also possible to freeze
them.
In addition the main sections listed can be
interspersed with all sorts of reading, poems,
songs and music from Grandparents, friends,
family and siblings.
Family love getting
involved and will probably produce more
readings and poems then you need, and it is
great to get siblings involved so that they feel
important and that they have an important
part to play in the naming ceremony.
My daughter’s Albanian mother-in-law taught
her how to make a savoury pastry using nettles
similar to the Greek Spanakopita! There they
where on a housing development in west
London collecting a bunch of nettles, needless
to say some on-lookers were a little miffed! But
-as todays phrase goes- whatever!! It was very
tasty, economical and nutritious. Nettles can
be a substitute for spinach in other recipes too.
I love naming ceremonies, everyone is
different, and being that they are such happy
events, you cannot fail to return home feeling
uplifted and very happy yourself.
Helena: LifeRites Celebrant.
Since Roman times the nettle has been used to
treat arthritic type complaints, In 2000 the
University of Plymouth carried out some
research and found that 85% of patients tested
said that the nettles brought significant relief
that outweighed the stinging side effect.
(http://news.bbc.co.uk)
NOW THIS IS THE DAY
(From the writings of Zuni Indians)
Like many natural remedies there are
contraindications and the root of the nettle
should not be used during pregnancy.
Now this is the day,
Our child
Into the daylight
You will go out standing
Preparing for your day.
There is also a traditional English Rhyme:
Tender-handed, stroke a nettle,
And it stings you for your pains.
Grasp it like a man of mettle,
And it soft as silk remains.
Our child, it is your day,
This day,
May your road be fulfilled
In your thoughts may we live,
May we be the ones whom your thoughts will
embrace,
May you help us all to finish our roads.
And of course not forgetting that remedy to the
sting-the dock leaf, it works as the nettle sting
contains formic acid and the doc sap is an
alkali.
Finally the nettle supports over 40 species of
insects, including butterflies and moths.
Perhaps the nettle patch should be a planned
area of the garden, a few grown in a pot for
tea or more if space allows.
AN EXTRACT FROM TAO TE CHING
Giving birth and nourishing
Having without possessing
Acting with no expectations
Leading and not trying to control
This is the supreme virtue.
http://www.nettles.org.uk
-8-
o Plant a time capsule
DIFFERENT GIFTS FOR A
NAMING CEREMONY
Making sure you have a suitable container,
gather newspaper cuttings or magazines
cuttings from the day the child was born, with
perhaps a photo of him/her, There are so
many interesting things which will bring back
memories of the birth and/or the naming
ceremony.
Do remember not to include
perishable items. You can plant the time
capsule forever, or plan for it to be dug up
when the child is 18 or 21.
Preservation Tips
http://www.ridgequest.co.uk/TimecapPreser
vation.htm
Gifts for Naming Ceremonies do not have to
be boring. Here are just a few to get you
thinking. (The companies mentioned are not
indorsed by us, but entered here as a good
place to start your search).
o Plant a tree
The Woodland Trust will plant a tree for you
in their own woodland from £15 per tree.
There are five woodland sites across the
country
http://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk
o Name a star
There are a number of companies now who
will name a star for you; they pick a star in a
relevant constellation which will be visible at
a given time of year. They will also supply
you with a certificate and a map to show you
the location of the star.
Astronomy.co.uk/name a star £29.99
Star registry.co.uk £49.99
W.H Smiths.
International Tree Foundation, for a minimum
donation of £45, will plant between 1 and 6
trees. They have a number of sites across the
country and they will send you or the child a
personalised card with your dedication.
http://internationaltreefoundation.org/
You can always look on your local community
website, or national park website to see if
there are any local planting schemes.
o Adopt an Animal
Adopt a zoo or rescue centre animal that you
can visit. Have a lock at your local websites.
The World Wildlife Fund ( WWF ) from £3 a
month, £36 a year - Offer adoption of wild
animals in a project funded and run by them.
http://www.worldwildlife.org
Or if you or the child’s parents have a big
enough garden you can plant a tree yourself.
However, remember tree planting is a winter
occupation, and children will get more fun
from a fruit tree than one which just looks
pretty. (If your naming ceremony is in winter
and at your home you could always plant a
tree as part of the ceremony).
Also it is possible to adopt a flamingo or swan
from the Wildfowl and Wetlands
http://www.wwt.org.uk/adopt-pick
© http://www.wild-facts.com
© 2010 Julia Oak
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room to sign the register. From a practical
perspective it should also be noted that those
premises licensed for civil ceremonies will
charge well over their usual rates as soon as
the word wedding is mentioned.
HANDFASTING
Lyn Baylis
WHY CHOOSE A HANDFASTING?
When babies are born, and when people die
their parents or next of kin go to the registry
office and notify the registrar of these
events. Why should it not be the same for
marriage? The couple attend the registry
office with just the two required witnesses,
then the Wedding/Handfasting Ceremony can
take place anywhere and at any time the
couple decide. Sometimes couples combine
these two events on the same day, attending
the registry office in the morning, and having
the wedding/handfasting in the afternoon
followed by the reception. Of course some
couples do not feel the need for the legalities
and for them the Handfasting is all they want.
People no longer have to settle for the
Registry Office or Civil Ceremony if they are
divorced, not part of an established church,
have an individual belief system, or are same
sex couples.
A handfasting/marriage ceremony can be
everything you want it to be, and will take
into account any or no religious beliefs. It
can be as romantic and grand, or as simple as
you like. It can take place in a woodland
glade, a castle, a house, or on a beach, the
only restrictions are those of imagination. It
can be the full fairytale wedding, with horse
drawn carriages, a fully costumed medieval
wedding or just a quiet wedding with the two
of you beneath the stars. Handfastings give
you the freedom to be innovative, with each
handfasting ceremony written to reflect the
character and personality of the couple. If
you want a traditional ceremony which is
simple but beautiful and moving we will work
with you to make sure that is what you get. A
slightly more unorthodox event, for example,
a themed handfasting with bride, groom and
guests dressed as characters from Lord of the
Rings, or Star Trek, can be equally as
beautiful and emotive. Even the more wacky
themes such as The Rocky Horror Show can be
crafted into a wonderfully emotive and truly
memorable occasion. With no restrictions on
venue, and a ceremony written to include
your own requirements, whether spiritual or
practical, you can make your Handfasting the
most memorable and joyous day of your lives.
© 2010 Penny & Tom
Civil Ceremonies are great if that is what you
want, but for anyone with a spiritual
dimension the Civil Ceremony can be deeply
unsatisfying. The Registrar who officiates is
not allowed to include any religious or
spiritual references, and this ruling also
applies in venues licensed for Civil
Ceremonies. Even when the registrar attends
a church ceremony, as for example in the
Catholic Church, it will be noticed that the
couple have to leave the main body of the
church and go into a completely separate
If you are considering an alternative wedding,
it seems appropriate to mention those
elements which are an essential part of the
Handfasting.
These elements can be
incorporated into any style or type of
wedding. They are: The challenge e.g. “Do
you come here of your own free will”; the
joining and binding of hands and the exchange
of vows. Elements which are often included
but are not essential are: An exchange of
rings, The marriage toast by the couple,
sharing mead/wine and cake with the guests,
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and jumping the broomstick, (a very old
custom which pre-dates the groom carrying
the bride across the threshold; as they jump
the broom which is laid at the threshold of
the building, sacred space, the two jump
together into a new life).
presenti, are matrimony before God. Cranmer
to Cromwell. (State papers, Henry VIII Vol 1 P
575).
After the reformation the Catholic Church did
not officially sanction these marriages, but
they continued in the villages for many years.
Future-consent-followed-by-sex-marriages
were still valid well into the 18th century,
and it was not until 1939 that all previous
marriage civil laws were changed. Elements
of the Pre-Christian ceremony are retained by
the Church of England even to this day. The
priests stole has to be laid across the joined
hands of the couple during the marriage
ceremony. I am assured by a number of
‘Church of England’ vicars that if this does
not happen the marriage is not considered
legal.
Handfasting is not a newly thought up
ceremony. When Christianity came to the
British Isles, The Church initially accepted
these village handfastings; primarily, because
there were not enough ministers to deal with
all the marriages taking place.
Clergy
travelled from village to village and when a
visiting priest came by he would bless the
handfast couple, making their marriages legal
in the eyes of the church.
Documentary evidence can trace these village
ceremonies back to the early 13th century,
with clear indications that they were
accepted in the community long before that
having evolved from the earlier “consent”
type marriages where a couple just consented
to be wed, or were betrothed for the future.
Sexual intercourse based on these promises
made the marriage legal in the sight of the
church. Witnesses were not essential but
made it easier to prove in the event of a
dispute that a legal marriage had taken place.
© 2010 Penny & Tom
Today in Scotland handfastings are as
acceptable as any other wedding, with no
need for a separate registry office ceremony.
Unfortunately in England, Ireland and Wales
the state does not recognise a Handfasting
demanding that “the paper work” is carried
out at a registry office before the couple can
claim to be legally married.
So, if you want to be officially married, and
would like your union to be special, or
different. Go to the registry office, do the
paperwork
and
then
have
the
wedding/handfasting of your dreams.
Lyn Baylis LifeRites Celebrant & Co-ordinator
© 2010 Penny & Tom
The essence of the handfasting/marriage was
the contract made by the man and the
woman, this contract was of a formal and
binding nature. The marriage service in
church often followed but not immediately,
nor was it deemed necessary to defer
cohabitation until after this had taken place.
Archbishop Cranmer's opinion on this matter is
clear "I am fully persuaded such marriages as
be in lawful age contracted per verba de
For further information on all rites of passage
go to www.liferites.org.uk or to book a
LifeRites celebrant who can help you plan your
Handfasting email: [email protected]
- 11 -
culture of today has all but discarded the
poise, confidence, glamour and wisdom of the
Crone.
FLASHES OF INSPIRATION
AND THUNDERBOLTS OF
POWER…..
(Belly dancing as a rite of passage form
Mother to Crone.)
Storm Bower
The art of belly dancing, like woman, has
been claimed by many. From Turkey to Syria
and Egypt, all proclaim the dance has started
within their culture. The truth of course is
that since the beginning of time women have
danced to a tribal drum beat. Dancing her
hopes, dreams, fears and rage, at other times
her dance of serpentine seduction, this she
instinctively knew was her point of creativity,
her birthright.
© 2010 Storm Bower
Television and magazine advertisements
encourage us to hide our laughter lines, cut
away softening jowls and hoick up, reduce or
enlarge our bust. Come what may and at
whatever cost, in our fifties we must
endeavour to look like we are in our early
forties!
From a medical point of view, belly dancing
was also the precursor to pre and post natal
exercise as we know it today. Allegedly,
during labour a woman would dance for the
birthing mother to be, to encourage her to
move her hips and use her abdominal muscles
to ease her child’s entry into the world.
Celebrities have paved the way as they stare
back at us from television and magazines with
smooth faces and chalk white teeth.
Impossibly thin and wearing clothes that
would look lovely on a twenty something year
old, we are made to feel that there is
something inherently wrong with us. Facelifts
implants, injectables and veneers are being
offered to us by a variety of cosmetic surgery
clinics so we too will feel “worth it”.
All this is but an illusion, or Maya. For in
truth, the Crone will eventually come to us
all, and if we would just embrace her and
know of her secrets and mysteries, we would
be such fine examples to the maids and
mothers behind us.
© 2010 Storm Bower
We are all mothers, be it brief or long term,
to children, projects or in our relationships.
But there comes a time for all of us when we
lay down the mantel of motherhood. We
have changed. Our bodies have changed. Our
monthly cycles have changed or have stopped
altogether or we have become Grandmothers.
We are becoming one with the Crone.
Flashes of inspiration and thunderbolts of
power that is what the menopause and
beyond will hold for us. Speaking our truth;
our needs; not always putting others before
ourselves and honouring our own unique
beauty, is also a birthright. Grounded wise
woman who can calm the babies like no new
mother can or sexy seductress who can bring
her partner and herself to ecstasy without
Sadly, Cronedom is generally not eagerly
anticipated, much less celebrated in our
western society.
The youth and beauty
- 12 -
inhibitions or shame, it is our choice. And
above all, through our life experiences we can
shape shift through the tri-form Goddess
aspects as well. Never forget that.
HAND OR FOOT PRINTS
This is a very unique way of remembering a
very special day. It is especially suited to
children, though the contrast between an adult
and an infant can be quite beautiful
It seems to me quite obvious that the time
has come to reclaim the divine feminine and
glamour of the Crone. Now is the time to
honour the diversity of the female form and
what better way to do this than through her
ancient dance?
It is a special gift to parents and grandparents,
bringing back all aspects of the day vividly
including how tiny the baby/child was.
To place prints on card or canvas you will
require a washable, non-toxic paint and a soft
paint brush. Mums will know to keep wet wipes
close by to save either their baby’s or their
own clothes being covered with paint, or an old
shirt of dads worn backwards on children is
good protection. Try to avoid those little hands
covered in paint being stuffed into an eager
mouth as it might be yours!!
Entering the Crone phase presents us with the
perfect opportunity to befriend our bodies.
So let’s shimmy our hips and undulated our
torsos with pride. This dance was made by
and for the female body and fear of female
flesh has no part to play here. Age is no
barrier; in fact, in Egypt the older dancers are
practically revered.
If you would prefer the print to be preserved
on a plate, or plaque most DIY ceramic shops
sell a readily prepared kit which will supply you
with a plate, plaque or other items on which
you can place the tiny hand or foot prints. You
can even add names, dates and other
information when you return to the shop before
they glaze and fire it. This process usually
takes a few days so if you are doing this as a
present and need it for a particular day, do
check with the shop as some may take slightly
longer.
Hand printing is not just for children; for adults
it can be used symbolically with names
included to record those present at a special
ceremony or event. Our hand and finger prints
are unique to us for the whole of our life and a
print tells so much more of our histories than
our name or a sentence or two.
© 2010 Storm Bower
Let us reclaim and relearn the majestic
movements and steps and not forget that the
Crone is also the mistress of enchantment So
reclaim your feminine power, gather up your
hip scarf and set your inner Priestess free!
Storm Bower
Autumn Equinox 2010
Storm runs classes and workshops on Crone
Dancing, female empowerment; gypsy and
belly dancing.
For further information please ring
07944870578
©
http://www.sxc.hu/
- 13 -
2008
emilbacik
BYGONES
involved in LifeRites in the first place is the
client, the client’s family and other outside
agencies.
LIFE & TIMES OF AN
INTERACTVE WORKER
THE WORK
The work is often an ongoing series of
meetings, in different situations and to be in
contact with the client’s family. The
following is an extract from my Working
Journal – which continues to be an invaluable
self-counselling guide. At this point, my client
has been taken into hospital and is close to
death.
Kathy Savage
Kathie was one of the first set of students on
the LifeRites Foundation Course.
Since graduating, she has taken the role of an
Interactive Worker, and here she shares some
of her experiences.
My feelings tonight are, “On no, It’s here”.
Hope he lasts though a bit ‘cos I came home
from my evening class tonight and yes, a bit
of a full day at work - it was classic horror.
I’ve got a headache and I feel absolutely
knackered. Can’t manage a death tonight and
am fighting myself silly over it. But I must
also collect myself.
THE EARLY DAYS
I remember thinking, “Yep, this course is for
me”.
I
did
not
want
to
face
death/dying/illness with all of these confused
thoughts – or even worse – unable to think
about it at all. I felt that I was spinning
helplessly during Mum’s illness and that
somehow, she managed to die before we
were ready. “Would we have ever been
ready?” I asked myself.
I crawled about on the floor for a bit because
my legs gave way and there I was, wrestling
with my dark side. I must find strength in the
compassion to deal with me. It’s not that I
don’t expect him to die, but not like this, not
without dignity. What am I going to do if he
wants to come home? How can I arrange that
in this condition? – it would be so fraught if
he died on the way. I must search from a bit
of guidance from Brown Owl. For some reason
I’m remembering the Guide’s promise ‘to
help other people al all times (I dispute that
in myself now) especially those at home’.
A LifeRites Interactive Worker – such as I hope
to present – would have helped us prepare a
bit, been with us, bridged some of the gaps,
offered practical services and most of all –
listened. There is always a way to develop
ideas, which are reasonable and possible,
while retaining empathy with the client.
I made a vow to my community on the
LifeRites Graduation day:
Especially helping people to get home in my
current situation as a LifeRites Interactive
Worker.
I will honour the LifeRites Code with
compassion and humility, with pride and
humour to all of those in my family and circle
of friends, my community and as far into the
world as I can touch.
He is full of tubes and needles, bruised and
breathless when I arrive. He tries to talk as
he has always done. He seems very bright
considering. I had another image of him. He
is presenting well – his old armour prevents
him from doing anything else.
I also promised for a year and a day:
To
give
my
time,
listening
and
communication to all kinds of people when I
can, in the best way that I can. I will recall
the ethic, “There is so much good in the
worst of us, and there is so much bad in the
best of us, that it ill becomes one of us to
criticise the rest of us”.
I choose my time and give him the back and
foot massage that he has requested. And
there’s my walkman with the Nick Drake tape
he loves so much. This I will leave with him.
He’s mentioned ‘Hazy Jane’ so much I wonder
if we should use it during his ceremony.
All of this seems very sound on paper. One of
the ingredients that must not be overlooked
as it one of the major raisons d’etre for being
- 14 -
But I read the man’s fear and do not attempt
to involve him in discussion. It is enough to
have the gift of the present. I talk about the
oils and the effect that they may have. Cold
pressed sunflower oil for sunshine and
associated vitamins plus a few drops of
patchouli for grounding of the mind and
nervous exhaustion. A few drops of marjoram
again for the trauma and the chest infection
and some drops of lemon for uplifting the
immune system.
He is now out of hospital and has developed a
respect for hospital staff (i.e. he has stopped
referring to the local hospital as The
Euthanasia Pit. I know I did a fair bit of liasing
work during my visits. Nurses and Doctors are
only people and need to be communicated
with properly and caringly. It is not a job or
environment that I would necessarily choose
for work full time, but I am able to work
where communication is needed, and I can
offer aromatherapy skills along my LifeRites
role.
Of course, I had to ask permission to do this,
as I am studying part-time gain my
aromatherapy qualification, so I am insured
as a student.
Life is a series of lessons and I have been
presented here with the opportunities to see
things differently. During the process, my
marbles may have scattered for a short while
and this was not pleasant, but everything has
a beginning, middle and an end. We are still
in the middle, my client and I, and I may not
be ‘ready’, but I am prepared and being with
the LifeRites Crew is of enormous benefit to
me.
I’ve talked with the Mrs, who is a bit on the
hyper-drive. She’s delighted that he’s better
than he was. There’s a massive dose of
steroids and antibiotics being pumped into
him – hence his ability to cope and appear as
he does. She’s encouraging him to eat and
sleep and she’s spent two nights watching
over him. All the family, who are able, are
willing to sit with him (a sister, and a
nephew) so I am not called in for a vigil. I do
not mind admitting relief here, as I still have
my daily job as a teacher to attend to.
He often expresses his love of his family,
‘Life would not have been the same without
them’ and his love and appreciation of his
wife – of the great times and understanding
between them. His outlook is also his
awareness of so many friends. He knows that
he is loved.
He can be loud and embarrassing, never
failing to make his point – whether you
agreed with him or not, you had his blazing
opinion and sense of humour roaring like a
fire towards you. My strategy is duck or laugh
with him.
My thanks to all of those who have listened
and helped.
THE PRESENT
There is an alternative ending to this part of
the tale however. My client has not died and
once he began to receive treatment, had his
oxygen changed and had his chest infection
under control, he began to talk very positively
about an operation that would clear some of
the debris in his chest and prevent other
infections. He has been offered the operation
using a technique that would enable him to
stay conscious and prolong his life we
presume.
© 2010 andyreis
http://www.sxc.hu/home
- 15 -
cuttings, sculptures, etc. However much
willow grows by riversides and they have been
removed to make mechanical maintenance
easier! We live with the results; on the upper
reaches of the Arun the flooding of fields is a
common site after a heavy downfall of rain.
WILLOW - SALIX
Julia Oak
[email protected]
Sail or Saille is the Irish name of the fourth
letter of the Ogham alphabet, meaning
"willow". The name is related to Welsh
helyg(en) and Latin salix. Its Proto-IndoEuropean root was *sal-. Its phonetic value is
[s].
When looking for myth and legends connected
to trees I often turn to the ‘Trees for Liferestoring the Caledonian forest’ website as a
starting point. They can be found at
http://www.treesforlife.org.uk/forest/mythf
olk/; the willow is a water loving tree and
many legends see it linked to the moon,
Hecate, Helice and the Greek poet Orpheus
carried willow branches on his adventures in
the Underworld.
If you are celebrating a rite of passage,
willow can possibly provide you with a
keepsake in one shape or form from a living
sculpture over a seat, place card holders for a
Handfasting
celebratory
meal,
room
decorations or a single weeping willow (Salix
babylonica) which is a common symbol of
mourning.
A while back I found another interesting
website
‘The
Willow
Bank’
at
http://www.thewillowbank.com/index.html;
they specialise in living willow structures and
the site is full of interesting information and
ideas. What I like about the site is that, yes
they do sell Willow cuttings in all shapes and
sizes but they also share sufficient
information for you to undertake projects
without purchasing from them. Like when is
the best time to take cuttings; basically
between the beginning of December and the
end of March.
Willow cuttings taken in spring will easily
produce roots as the image below shows.
© 2010 Julia Oak
It is possible to take cuttings, known as
whips, during the trees dormant stage in
winter and use them for a variety of craft
activities. If they are kept in water they will
also produce roots in the spring
My ‘Readers Digest Nature Lovers Library’
books are always no more that an arms length
away and provide snippets of useful
information about the natural environment in
Britain. Willows have been around since the
end of the Ice Age and have helped the
countryside as their roots support the river
banks and help to prevent erosion. The
practise of Pollarding willows was once
common in England, cutting the top of the
tree encourages the growth of the whips at
the base which are used for basketry,
© 2010 Julia Oak
- 16 -
Willow is very easy to propagate, and it does
not take long for a cutting to burst into leaf in
the spring; it is also very malleable when
green and various sculptural shapes can be
produced. If not planted immediately the
cuttings should be kept in water and there is
a good chance they will still root.
WREATH
Long whip 2½ times circumference of
required wreath.
5 cuttings of similar thickness measuring the
diameter of the wreath
A selection of greenery- I used Bay and
Eucalyptus
Raffia or ribbon - I used Nutscene
(www.nutscene.com)
Each year Arundel Castle, West Sussex, hosts
a FairTrade Christmas fair during mid
November, this year one of the stalls was
selling willow stars, ok they were reasonably
priced because we should value peoples time
and creativity, however when I looked at the
price tag I thought ‘I can make them for
free’, as each year my naturalised willow
produces whips suitable for cutting. (I am so
pleased I kept the weeping willow my
daughter bought me some years back for
Mother’s day when it died; because within a
season the root stock sent forth some
branches which are now an eight foot tree,
though the grafted weeping willow died the
root stock did not!)
© 2010 Julia Oak
Following are a few ideas of what can be
achieved with willow. I am planning a
remembrance seat by the grave of a pet, but
this winter’s weather has inhibited my
progress so by the next edition I will have a
few photos to share.
STAR/MOON DECORATIONS large or small
The longer the whip the larger the star can
be! 2 metres or more for a 15cm wide star
Star-As a guide you will need it to be 5 x the
width of the star plus a stem & 10cm to join.
Moon – Approximately 2½ times
circumference of the moon plus a stem.
String, Ribbon or Raffia to join and decorate.
PLACE NAME HOLDER
Small wet/green whips about 75cm long
Coloured ribbon to suit occasion
Card, again colour of your choice – these can
be hand written or printed from a pc or
professionally
Slot the card between the diagonals of the
stars
© 2010 Julia Oak
One point about measurement and sizesMeasurement is an invention of ‘man’. Nature
rarely gets out a ruler and says I will grow 50
centimetres a year-be flexible; if you are, like
me, a Capricorn, and like order it can
sometimes be a bit challenging, which is why I
like making ‘one offs’ and ‘samples’ as I don’t
have to worry about everything being the
same.
© 2010 Julia Oak
- 17 -
CELEBRATING
OF AGE
THE
years as a solitary practitioner. I wanted to
become more involved in the Pagan
community after having bought a house in
England (I’m a transplanted American who’s
been living in Belgium for half a lifetime.
There’s not much Pagan activity (in English)
available to me there.) Finally, I was ready to
take up some hobbies I’d so far never gotten
around to starting – crone hobbies: herbalism
and beekeeping – and I wanted to mark the
start of my foray into these areas.
WISDOM
Honouring the Elders
Kate Connelly
Many woman turning fifty (50!) would make a
point of phoning a plastic surgeon. Me? I’ve
always tried to avoid doctors. A looming
fiftieth birthday seemed much harder to face
than the fortieth celebrated ten years earlier,
but I realized I could go one of two ways: I
could surrender to the despair – yes, there
were moments of despair – of turning fifty, or
I could turn it around. I decided to turn it
around. I decided to throw myself a Croning
ceremony.
A Croning ceremony or ritual celebrates the
wisdom of age. In Pagan tradition, the
Goddess has a triple nature: maiden, mother
and crone. We celebrate the maiden aspect
of our lives with confirmations and “Sweet
Sixteen” parties. We celebrate the mother
aspect with baby showers and on Mother’s
Day. The crone’s only celebration – if we can
call it that – is her funeral.
Witches Tea Party – Orphan Work Copyright
To prepare for the ceremony, I first thought
long and hard about who I would invite. In the
end, my guest list comprised a group of
women I had known for my entire life as an
adult, many of whom are crones themselves,
though without the benefit of ritual. They had
seen me through my “Mother” phase and I felt
they should be present as I entered my Crone
phase. Other people planning a Croning will
choose to invite men and women, or family
and friends, in any combination.
It’s easy to argue that girls entering the
maiden phase have plenty to celebrate: first
love, starting college or work, travelling, and
simply the fact of being young and beautiful.
The mother phase is rewarded by the children
who are born, fostered or adopted – and in
any case, most mothers don’t have much time
for partying! The crone, though, doesn’t
“get” anything. The house empties out, the
job winds down, the sex appeal fades.
Next, I had to come up with a text for the
ceremony. I adapted a beautiful Croning
ritual created by the Tangled Moon Coven
combined with some additional materials and
my own circle-casting ritual. I located a
celebrant, a Pagan Priestess, via LifeRites and
the Pagan Federation and she helped me
refine the ceremonial text. We set the date
for the Croning on the Saturday closest to the
dark moon that was closest to my birthday:
September 11th.
** (I should mention that though I am stressing
the feminine here, men also go through
similar phases in their lives and there is
certainly no reason a man shouldn’t do an
Elder Ceremony if he’d like to mark the third
phase of his life.)
Doing a Croning to mark my fiftieth birthday
seemed right for many reasons: I was feeling
low about the big 5-0 and wanted to distract
myself by planning and throwing a party. I
felt – with the “who-cares-what-other-peoplethink” attitude of a middle-aged person – that
it was time for me to “come out of the broom
closet” as a Pagan and a witch after twenty
To focus my mind, I set myself some specific
preparatory tasks. For example, though I
already had some practice with meditation, I
- 18 -
committed to daily meditation for the full
lunar month running up to 11 September.
MENOPAUSE CAKE
While the moon was waxing (dark to full) I set
myself the task of memorizing the entire
ceremony we would use on the day, including
the very lengthy Witches’ Rune. Another
person planning a Croning might want to
memorize poetry, Shakespeare, or some other
piece of prose. I chose the Witches’ Rune
because none of the guests at my Croning
were Pagans. The Rune provides a glimpse
into what witches actually believe and what
they do. I love the rhythm of it. An added
benefit of the memorization task was that my
fifty-year old brain got a work out! This, they
tell me, helps guard against creeping senility!
A few friends of ours have served this now and
again, not sure if it could be eaten every day as
it is a rich, heavy cake. It has been attributed
to Linda Kearns who developed it to help
herself cope with the menopause.
There are many versions to be found on the
internet, however this one comes from:
http://www.naturalmenopause.net/menopause
-cake.html
Ingredients
4ozs/100g Soya flour
4ozs/100g wholemeal flour (replace with
more oats for wheat free loaf)
4ozs/100g rolled oats
4ozs/100g linseeds
2ozs/50g pumpkin seeds
2ozs/50g flaked almonds or walnuts or any
other nuts
2ozs/50g sesame seeds
2ozs/50g sunflower seeds
2 pieces of finely chopped stemmed ginger
(optional)
8ozs/225g raisins or dates or cranberries
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon ground ginger
15 fl oz/425ml Soya milk
1 tablespoon malt extract
As the moon waned (from full to dark), I ate a
vegetarian diet and took no alcohol. Finally, I
fasted for 24-hours before the Big Day.
For four to six weeks preceding the Croning
date, I was in constant touch with the
celebrant. She helped me decide about altar
decorations, worked out the practicalities of
the ceremony and the space we planned to
used, and also offered encouragement as I
continued my internal preparations. My
Croning ceremony required a crown and
cloak, which the celebrant provided. I
decided that, after the Croning, I would wear
the pentacle as an outward symbol of my
faith. I bought myself a small silver pentacle
as a gift, but left it in the unopened box until
the morning of the ceremony.
Method
Put all the dry ingredients into a large bowl.
Add Soya milk and malt extract, mix well and
leave to soak for about 30 minutes to one hour.
Heat the oven to 190°C/375°F/gas 5.
Line a small loaf tin with baking paper.
If the mixture ends up too stiff (it should have
a soft dropping consistency), stir in some more
Soya milk.
Spoon the mixture into the prepared tin and
bake for about one to one and a half hours.
Test with a skewer to check it’s cooked
properly.
Turn out and cool.
Eat one thick slice of Menopause Cake a day.
The day finally came and the guests arrived!
To begin the ceremony, the Priestess
introduced the concepts of elder hood, dual
deity and the triple Goddess. She explained
that I had a craft name) and would be
referred to by that name throughout the
ceremony – otherwise, my non-Pagan friends
would have been very confused!
I began to get nervous as the time drew closer
but I knew I was well-prepared and thought
that once we got underway, everything would
flow. In fact, at a certain point during the
ritual, I remember breaking down a bit –
affected by the idea of no longer being fertile
or desirable – but the celebrant and my guests
helped me over this rough patch, and the
ceremony continued fairly smoothly from that
point. I was relieved – and hungry – by the end
- 19 -
becomes a crone or an elder, but I do think
some attention should be brought to bear on
the following points:
of the ceremony. After dealing with a blaring
smoke alarm, my guests and I moved on to
the feast while the Priestess closed the
Circle.
A Crone should be past her child-bearing
years (in menopause); an Elder could take as
a marker the point when he no longer has any
children at home. Those who have never been
parents might consider doing a Croning or
Elder ceremony when they stop their career.
Since becoming an “official Crone” I feel that
I am better able to laugh at the idea of being
fifty, or sixty, or seventy…. I was very pleased
by the reactions of friends to my “coming
out” – they were curious and interested, but
mostly, extremely respectful of my beliefs
and willing to participate fully in the spirit of
the day. One of my guests in particular has
mentioned the Croning every time I’ve seen
her over the past few months; she was
overwhelmed by the beauty of the ceremony.
I think she – a lady in her late 60s – wishes
that she could throw herself a Croning, but
thinks (mistakenly, of course) that one has to
be a practicing Pagan to do so. One wonderful
aspect of finally “coming out of the broom
closet” is that now, when I invite people for
dinner on the Pagan holidays, I can actually
engage them in a bit of prayer or ritual.
Previously, I had always invited people to
mark the feast days, but my guests thought
they were just being invited for a standard
dinner party.
The person undergoing the Croning or Elder
ceremony must become comfortable with the
title “Crone,” “Elder,” “old man” or “old
lady.” If you can’t bear to think of yourself as
a grandma (perhaps you prefer to remain a
“glamma”…); if you still consider yourself a
“player;” or if you’d rather pay the full fare
than admit you’re of a certain age, then the
time is probably not right for you to do a
Croning.
The Croning ceremony should coincide with
some outward change in your life such as
retirement or a career change, getting an allclear for, say, cancer; or perhaps with
downsizing to a smaller home now that the
children are gone (or selling up and moving
abroad) – some event that outwardly
characterizes this change in your life phase.
A somewhat disturbing aspect of coming out
as a Pagan is how my employer – a university
in Belgium that was specifically established to
take higher education away from the
influence of the Catholic Church and which is
bound to become caught up in the debate
about religious symbolism in secular places (in
this case primarily a question of headscarves)
that is raging through Europe – will react to
my pentacle when I return to work in January
after a three-year sabbatical. Watch this
space.
It’s important that you create – or adapt – a
Croning/Elder ritual that is meaningful and
relevant to your particular experience. Your
celebrant can help you with this. Feel free to
mine your favourite books of poetry or prose,
song lyrics, fables, whatever is significant to
you.
You will benefit from setting yourself some
preparatory tasks – think of them as jobs on a
‘to do’ list, or as New Year’s (New Life’s?)
resolutions. Meditation and fasting both help
to focus the mind and clarify the reasons for
undergoing this ritual of change.
My Croning, as I had hoped, marked the start
of closer relationships within the Pagan
community, and my new hobby of herbalism
seems somehow more significant from being a
“by-product” of such meaningful preparation.
(The beekeeping adventure will have to wait
until next summer, as Autumn/Winter is not a
good time to start with bees.)
If you decide to take the plunge, I wish you –
from one Crone to another – a very successful
and memorable day full of joy, peace and
fellowship with your nearest and dearest.
Bright Blessings and all best wishes!
If you, dear reader, are looking at the other
side of fifty or sixty and are considering
throwing a Croning ceremony for yourself, I
encourage you to do so. There are, of course,
no rules as to when, precisely, a person
- 20 -
WOODLAND BURIALS
The owner of the burial grounds stressed to
me his commitment to providing a unique
service, which did not have the time
constraints normally associated with funerals,
believing that people needing to take their
time with their good-byes should not feel
pressurized.
He also stressed that however
big they grew he would ensure that they
remained an environmentally sound burial
ground, and he has certainly kept his
promises.
BRISTOL MEMORIAL WOODLANDS
Back in the spring of 2001 I was one of the
first celebrants to officiate at a funeral at the
newly opened woodland burial ground.
Placed just north of the junction of the M4
and the M5, AA signs clearly mark the route
from junction 16 of the M5. However, once
there you easily forget it’s nearness to these
two major routes.
Nearly ten years later and the place is as
beautiful and as serene as I remember it.
What was empty fields are now young
woodlands planted with Oak, Chestnut, Holly,
Rowan, Silver Birch, Cherry, Lime, Ash, Elder
and Beech as well as a range of wildflowers,
attracting many different forms of wildlife
such as buzzards, owls, partridges, pheasants
and deer. The apple trees they planted are
all local apple trees, one of which dates back
to the very early 1700 when it was first grown
as a pip by Dr. Ashmead who lived near
Gloucester.
In addition they are continually interacting
with local communities.
This year they
hosted a summer play scheme for local
special needs children in a safe area, far
away in one corner of the estate, and well
away from the everyday business of the
woodland burial site.
If you are interested in finding out more or
visiting the Memorial Woodlands why not
attend one of their open days when they give
guided tours of the site and are happy to
answer any questions you may have.
© 2011 www.memorialwoodlands.com
The Memorial Woodlands is set in 100 acres of
rolling countryside, of which 5 acres had been
returned to woodland by the owner before
the woodlands were opened to the public.
The burial grounds were not been tamed into
formal areas, except for the quadrangle
which surrounds the buildings, and the wide
open space gave me a deep sense of peace
and tranquillity, which was even more
prominent in the building which I will call the
chapel. This 17th Century Barn has been
tastefully renovated to provide a non
denominational sacred space, complete with
modern sound system, and an organ in the
gallery. Walking into the chapel I was struck
by a wonderful feeling of serenity. In deed, I
found it hard to believe that it had only
recently been made into a sacred building.
Within the quadrangle another barn has been
converted to a function room. Again, I was
impressed with the amount of thought which
had gone into this tasteful conversion,
providing modern facilities, toilets, and a
fully equipped kitchen area,
while still
retaining the feel of the original 17th Century
building.
© 2011 www.memorialwoodlands.com
For further information phone: 01454 414 999
or visit their website:
www.memorialwoodlands.com
- 21 -
TRAINING
LifeRites provides courses for those
wishing to become celebrants
within the organisation or wishing
to develop their skills to work on an
independent basis.
Essential Skills
Interviewing, empathy and listening
skills are vital, as are diplomacy
and being able to cope with
emotion. An ability to relate to
assembled people and to speak
with them is also vital. A
background of work with clients or
in the caring professions (whether
in the public, private or voluntary
sectors) would be a real advantage.
Celebrant Training Progression
Those wishing to become a
celebrant
with
LifeRites
are
expected
to
complete
the
Foundation certificate after which
they will become an assistant
celebrant and may then elect to
continue on to the Diploma and
gain registered status with the
organisation.
Foundation Certificate – New
Course for 2011
The foundation course comprises of
practical work at intervals over four
weekends with subsequent written
work. A mentor will be assigned to
each trainee. Assessment will be by
their recommendation in addition
to practical and written work. By
the end of this course students will
know whether they wish to
continue on to the diploma year
and
seek
registration
with
LifeRites.
2011 FOUNDATION
CERTIFICATE COURSE£650
Please pay your deposit of £100
as soon as possible with the
booking form available from
LifeRites:
http://www.liferites.org.uk/trai
ning/
Telephone 07823 690240
This covers course fees and 2
nights
accommodation
plus
meals in Eco Lodge.
Remainder of the fees £110 per
weekend to be paid either 7
days before each of the
subsequent course dates by
payment into LifeRites Bank or
by cheque,
or can, in
exceptional circumstances, be
paid on arrival at the venue in
cash.
Provisional Dates-all Friday
evening to Sunday afternoon:
•
•
•
•
•
- 22 -
20th to 22nd May
24th to 26th June
22nd to 24th July
23rd to 25th September
14th to 16th October