chubby checker
Transcription
chubby checker
The Brought to you by Publishers of Your Valley Source & The Promised Land FREE TAKE ONE The FREE Alternative Guide to Entertainment, Arts & News for December 2011 New Year’s Eve with CHUBBY CHECKER & Trez Equis XXX (TrezEquis) www.trezequis.com Booking Info: George Gosling, Tabletop Productions Ph. (775)-267-6770 Website: Tabletop-pro.com (12-13) GRAND JUNCTION Test Drive the All New 2012 Jeep Wrangler CHRYSLER • JEEP • DODGE 2578 HWY 6 & 50 Grand Junction (on the corner of motor & funny little street) 245-3100 • 1-800-645-5886 Muscle and Milage: The NEW Dynamic Duo www.grandjunctionchrysler.com • Sales: Mon-Fri 8:30-6:00, Sat 8:30-5:00 • Parts and Service: Mon - Fri 7:30-5:30, Sat 9:00-1:00 / Closed on Sundays CALL NOW! 970-243-3131 The SOURCE www.EDBOZARTH.com PAY AS LOW AS: ON THE SPOT FINANCING W.A.C. See dealer for details. 49 $ • CHOOSE FROM OUR 20 BANKS AND CREDIT UNIONS • INTEREST RATES AS LOW AS 0% MARK MILLER ED BOZARTH .00 DOWN W.A.C. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. 0% FOR 72 MONTHS ON SELECT NEW VEHICLES! W.A.C. SEE DEALER FOR DETAILS. BEST PRE-OWNED INVENTORY ON THE WESTERN SLOPE! 2007 CHEVY COBALT 2009 CHEVY HHR LT Up to 34 Miles Per Gallon, Front Wheel Drive, A/C, Auxiliary Audio Input, CD Payer, Fun to Drive, Daytime Running Lights LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: Up to 32 Miles Per Gallon, 4-Wheel ABS, Cruise Control, A/C, Remote Engine Start, Traction Control, & More $6,988 STK#22968 005 CHEVY AVALANCHE 2005 Four Wheel Drive, Alloy Wheels, Luggage Rack, 4-Wheel ABS, A/C, Keyless Entry, Cruise Control, V6 Engine & More $12,988 STK#22903 2011 CHEVY HHR LS $12,988 STK#10088A LOWEST PRICE t’sSale OF THE YEAR!Le Price: $12,988 Rev Up Your Image STK#10096A 2009 FORD MUSTANG Great for a family, Traction Control, A/C, Keyless Entry, MP3 Player, Auxiliary Audio Input, Stability Control, 4-Wheel Disc Brakes Powerful V6 Engine, Alloy Wheels, Keyless Entry, Cruise Control, A/C, Engine Immobilizer, Super Sporty, Up to 26 Miles Per Gallon Graphic & Web Designs $13,988 STK#23478 $14,488 LOWEST PRICE Sale Fast Service with OF THE YEAR! Price: Competitive Rates STK#23501 2007 TOYOTA PRIUS 2007 NISSAN ARMADA “Get the results business deserves.” LOWEST PRICEyourSale Powerful V8 Engine, Alloy Wheels, Traction Control, Running Boards, Climate Control, Keyless Entry, Multi-Zone A/C, CD Player Up to 51 Miles Per Gallon, Keyless Start, Alloy Wheels, Climate Control, A/C, Traction Control, 4-Wheel ABS, & More $15,988 LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: * STK#22947 Up to 35 Miles Per Gallon, MP3 Player, A/C, Auxiliary Audio Input, Power Steering, Front Wheel Drive, Daytime Running Lights 2008 TOYOTA SIENNA LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: $12,988 LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: 2011 CHEVY AVEO Up to 30 Miles Per Gallon, Cruise Control, Keyless Entry, Traction Control, Plenty of Cargo Space, MP3 Player, A/C, Power Steering LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: STK#23322 2006 JJEEP LIBERTY LIMITED Four Wheel Drive, Cruise Control, MultiZone A/C, Keyless Entry, 4-Wheel ABS, Privacy Glass, Alloy Wheels, Front Tow Hooks LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: $11,988 LOWEST PRICE Sale OF THE YEAR! Price: STK#23390 OF THE YEAR! Price: $16,988 * $19.95 SERVICE SPECIALS STK#22939 FOUR WHEEL ALIGNMENT LUBE, OIL & FILTER + TIRE ROTATE 2 $67.95 www.getcreativeresults.com Includes thorough safety Inspection. Includes up to 5 quarts of quality motor oil. Synthetic oil higher. Duallys, Corvettes and modified vehicles extra. **One per person. Must present coupon at time of service. Not valid on previous purchase. Cannot be combined with any other advertised price, promotion, discount or coupon. Cannot be exchanged for cash. Void if copied or transferred. Other restrictions may apply, please see dealer for details. Expires 1/15/12 The SOURCE / December 2011 Professional Marketing Services **One per person. Must present coupon at time of service. Not valid on previous purchase. Cannot be combined with any other advertised price, promotion, discount or coupon. Cannot be exchanged for cash. Void if copied or transferred. Other restrictions may apply, please see dealer for details. Expires 1/15/12 “THE MOST TRUSTED NAME IN AUTOMOBILES” 2595 HIGHWAY 6 AND 50•GRAND JUNCTION 970-243-3131 1-888-CHEVROLET TOLL FREE BEYOND PRECISION. PROUDLY SUPPORTS COLORADO MESA UNIVERSITY ATHLETICS All offers subject to prior sale due to advertising deadlines. All offers plus tax and applicable fees with approved credit. Pictures for Illustration purposes only. All prices for in-stock vehicles only. Fuel Economy based off of www.fueleconomy.gov. See dealer for details. Offers Expires 1/15/2012 at close of business. • GRAND JUNCTION, CO • AURORA, CO • LONE TREE, CO • LAS VEGAS, NV • TOPEKA, KS A production of Community Press Service Inc., which is solely responsible for its content. 1-800-350-1820 Your Local Atlas Van Line Agent With years of experience, ALL PRO MOVING & STORAGE located at 559 Sandhill Ln., #202, in Grand Junction has earned a reputation throughout the area that is second to none, and the reason is simple, they move families, not just furniture! These well-respected professionals can move your most personal possessions across town, or across the nation. They specialize in complete door-to-door service for local and nationwide moving, and you can rest assured when you place these experienced professionals in charge. Let the experts at ALL PRO MOVING & STORAGE completely pre-plan your next move. All of your valuable possessions will be carefully packed, crated, loaded and delivered to your new destination, safe and sound. They also specialize in office moves, retirement homes, pianos and storage, and they are fully insured for your protection. For dependable, professional, courteous service, don’t make a move without ALL PRO MOVING & STORAGE. Call them at 970-257-1652 for an estimate on your next move. You’ll enjoy doing business with these friendly professionals, and you can be assured of expert service at fair prices every time. They would like to join area businesses in wishing everyone the Best for the Holidays. Locally Owned & Operated By Martin Swift For a hole in your roof or a whole new roof, contact ABLE ROOF CO. located at 1327 21 Rd. in Grand Junction, phone 970-858-8005 or visit www.ableroofco.com. ABLE ROOF CO. is well known as one of the area's leading roofing contractors. Their years of experience and their many fine completions serve as their best references. When you call this company to "talk roofing," you can be assured that you've made the wisest decision! As specialists in ALL TYPES of roofing, this prominent firm can handle new roofing as well as repairs. They are licensed, bonded and insured for your protection. All roofs are hand nailed for quality work at reasonable rates. When you're in need of roofing of any type...whether it is new construction or reroofing...call the professionals at ABLE ROOF CO. As the writers of this 2011 Look At Business, we think you'll like their service and the results. Martin thanks all his many friends and valued customers, and wishes everyone a Happy, Safe and Prosperous Holiday Season. T & J Ministorage Opened In 1977 "The Best Little Storehouse In Town" John & Kathy Baughman – Owners & Managers Since 1995 People in this area are fortunate to have a quality mini-storage facility such as T & J MINISTORAGE with whom they can deal with confidently. They are located at 2987 North Ave. in Grand Junction, phone 970-242-0560 or FAX 970-255-9115. They offer a complete mini-storage facility with many sizes of storage units to choose from. They are the perfect place to store business records, office equipment, household goods and inventory. The grounds are well lit and T & J MINISTORAGE offers 24-hour access, special long term rates, and they also feature shelves and garment rods. Th e y a r e o pen Mo n. – Sat., but close on Sat. after n o o n s , S u n d a y s a n d m a j o r holidays, and offer the highest quality storage service at reasonable prices. Their service is marked by courteous, prompt and friendly treatment of everyone. So stop in or call 970-242-0560 whenever you may have the need to store anything. We believe you'll be glad you did. John and Kathy personally thank all of their customers and friends, and wish you all a Great Holiday Season and the Very Best in 2012. Roadhouse Auto Center Locally Owned & Operated Tom Donat – Owner Ron Jacobs – General Manager For many years, automobile dealers considered the "used car" business a sideline to selling new models. The friendly guys down at ROADHOUSE AUTO CENTER located at 2381 F Rd. in Grand Junction, phone 970-254-1061, are changing that by totally rejecting this theory. They believe that the used car buyer is just as important as the new car buyer by giving the customer the best possible price, quality and service. They specialize in used cars, and right now, they're dealing with a lower profit margin than anyone in an all-out effort to help their customers by offering great deals on good, used economy cars with a lifetime guarantee on their vehicles. The kind of business that this respected firm does is the main reason people return again and again when they need an automobile because they know that integrity, quality, and value are always offered here. Stop in at ROADHOUSE AUTO CENTER and look over the tremendous values in quality used automobiles. We suggest this firm for better cars AND better values! Tom, Ron and staff wish everyone a Happy and Prosperous Holiday Season and look forward to seeing you soon. The Cinnamon Grill Formerly Black Bear Diner Locally Owned & Operated By Opie Johnson There are restaurants that come and go, and there are a few restaurants that give good food and service year-after-year to the folks who drop in. For Grand Valley area people who shop in Grand Junction, that restaurant is THE CINNAMON GRILL located at 624 Rae Lynn, phone 970-243-4100. When you are ready to relax over a good, hot cup of coffee, a piece of homemade dessert, a sandwich or a freshly prepared home style meal, you will enjoy what Opie and the staff serve up! If you are new in the area, stop at THE CINNAMON GRILL the next time you are in Grand Junction and eat where the folks who "know" do. THE CINNAMON GRILL has some of the friendliest service anywhere in the whole valley. The writers of this 2011 Look At Business salute the owners of THE CINNAMON GRILL for giving the people of this area such good service and great food. Remember, for "good eats" visit THE CINNAMON GRILL! Opie and the staff would like to thank all their valued customers for the past year, and wish you All The Best of the Holiday Season! Since 1955 Lic. #531 Tim & Kevin Himes – 2nd Generation Owners HIMES DRILLING COMPANY, INC. located at 2390 U.S. Hwy. 6 & 50 in Grand Junction, phone 970-242-8893, is one of the area's finest and most experienced core and water well drillers! Their completed wells are in service throughout the area and residents report outstanding results from their custom installed water systems. No matter what type of drilling or what kind of pump it takes, this is one contractor who makes sure that YOUR new well will serve you reliably and productively today and for many years to come! Utilizing the very latest in rotary and core drilling equipment, this reputable firm has been drilling wells for homeowners, irrigators and municipalities for years and the accumulation of their knowledge is what you get when you contact HIMES DRILLING COMPANY, INC. to drill YOUR water wells and core drilling, for mineral exploration for coal, gold and oil shale area mines. Tim and Kevin thank all their customers and friends and extend their Holiday Greetings to all! Make sure to mention you saw them in The Source when you call. New Ownership Locally Owned & Operated By Jon McGlothlin When items of service for which you cannot go window shopping such as welding equipment repair is needed, it then becomes important to know the reputation of the firm with which you do business. MOUNTAIN STATES WELDER REPAIR located at 3 1 9 4 M e s a Av e . i n G r a n d J u n c ti o n , p h o n e 9 7 0 - 2 4 3 - 9 6 1 6, i s a fi r m y o u c a n d o business with confidence and assurance of receiving satisfaction. They are your local warranty station for all types of major welding equipment including equipment including Lincoln, Miller, Hobart, Thermal Dyn and ESAB. They employ well trained people who have the desire to please. All their employees are trained to give you the best in welding equipment repair. MOUNTAIN STATES W E L D ER R E PA I R i s f a v o r ab l y k n o w n fo r p r o m p t s e r v i c e a n d fa i r p r i c e s . T h e i r popularity is due to the fact that they stand behind every job that they do. Jon and the crew wish you All The Best of the Holiday Season and a Prosperous New Year! Custom Furniture Upholstery & Repair Since 1983 Lorie Keeney, Mary Ann, Aggie & Dan Stephens – Owners & Operators Specialists in all types of upholstery, heavy fabric work and refinishing of furniture, REDLANDS UPHOLSTERY has become well known as being THE place to go when only the best is good enough! Whether you want a sofa or chair recovered or refinished, this is the place to go! Located at 360 Grand Mesa Ave. in Grand Junction, phone 970-242-5697 or visit www.redlandsupholstery.com, they are open Mon. – Fri., 8am – 5pm. This qualityconscious shop can cover nearly anything with fine fabric and vinyl. They custom manufacture, restyle and refinish furniture for home, office, or commercial use, as well as antique restoration, refinishing and recaning. They also make and restore mattresses and feature window cornices (the perfect window toppers) and RV upholstery! Heavy duty sewing machines and other equipment will handle the toughest fabrics with ease and these skilled craftsmen are thoroughly schooled in all phases of the upholstering art. Regardless of what you need…if it’s upholstery, REDLANDS UPHOLSTERY can handle it! You’ll also find a great selection of fabrics in their showroom. The owners thank all of their customers and friends, and want you to have a Great Holiday Season! Locally Owned & Operated By Mike Bumgardner AIRSTREAM PLUMBING & HEATING INC., located at 568 32 1/2 Rd. in Clifton, phone 970-434-5348, knows the plumbing and heating business thoroughly. They don't "guess" at your problems, they find the answers. Mike understands all phases of this work and he keeps up with the latest equipment and maintenance problems. He stands behind his work and will do a professional job for you. He understands that when you have a plumbing or heating problem, you need someone as soon as possible. AIRSTREAM PLUMBING & HEATING INC. offers you the best in plumbing and heating fixtures and installation, for all residential needs. Repair jobs are given prompt attention at a fair price. You will like their employees and find them courteous and efficient. If you want to do business with someone you can trust, be sure to call Mike. The writers of this 2011 Look At Business find it doubtful that you could find a more competent contractor. Call Mike at 970-434-5348; you'll be glad you did. The staff wishes everyone a Merry Christmas! Ford Construction Company Design/Build & Competitive Bidding Dan Kirk – Owner Design Of Excellence Award Winner For YOUR next structure, build with steel or stick lumber for lasting beauty and economy! See FORD CONSTRUCTION COMPANY located at 560 25 Rd. in Grand Junction, phone 970-245-9343. They are ready to show you the very latest advancements in distinctive, everlasting steel or stick lumber structures. Plans are available to suit nearly every application from a modern retail store, church, office building or weatherproof barn, or remodeling of existing structure. Regardless of what you need in buildings and remodeling, FORD CONSTRUCTION COMPANY handles the TOTAL job from building design to complete construction and finishing. This is your complete building contractor! The writers of this 2011 Look At Business suggest that anyone contemplating a new building or remodeling, get in touch with them for a competitive bid. Their reputation in this area is unparalleled! Dan and the staff extend their thanks to all of their valued customers, and would like to wish everyone Very Happy and Joyous Holidays. Scott Young – Owner If you'd like to maintain a dark summer tan year round, but really don't want to lie out in the snow and the rain, come in and visit the folks at TAN IN PARADISE and l e t t h e m h e l p y o u l o o k a n d f e e l y o u ’ r e a b s o l u t e b e s t ! B e s u r e t o f i n d t h e m o n FACEBOOK for specials. Located at 2478 Hwy. 6 & 50 in Grand Junction, phone 970-245-1111, TAN IN PARADISE features safe tanning facilities for men and women. Keeping that summer tan only takes minutes per week, and the professional tanning counselors at TAN IN PARADISE will make sure that you get only the necessary amount of exposure in accordance with your present tan or particular skin type. They have been named one of the top 250 salons in the entire country for 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and 2010. Call to make an appointment to get started on your tan. Walk-ins are welcome, and gift certificates are available. They make an excellent gift idea for the person who has everything. So, if you always wanted to look like you've just returned from a fun filled vacation in the sun, come in to TAN IN PARADISE and keep the winter blues away. SunShine Painting Locally Owned & Operated For Over 35 Years For quality workmanship, quick services, and reasonable prices, call SUNSHINE PAINTING at 970-260-6060 or visit www.sunshinepainting.net. They are a licensed and insured contractor for all your painting needs. Whether it’s your home or office that requires the master’s touch, you can rest assured; this firm will do the best job in the shortest possible time with the least amount of inconvenience. They offer their interior decorator for help in choosing a complementary color scheme. Interior or exterior, "We’ll Paint it!" At this special Holiday time, SUNSHINE PAINTING believes in supporting the community and is committed to using their own talents and resources for the betterment of the local region. This commitment has inspired them to participate in "Paint It Forward" charity event. This year SUNSHINE PAINTING will select five groups or individuals in need of interior painting services, and will donate up to $1000 in labor and materials per project. For nomination forms go to www.sunshinepainting.net. Nominations close Dec. 31. The writers of this 2011 Look At Business urge anyone needing the BEST in residential or commercial painting to contact SUNSHINE PAINTING; we know you’ll be glad you did. 3 The SOURCE / December 2011 Himes Drilling Company, Inc. Mountain States Welder Repair The SOURCE “A Look At Business” The SOURCE “A Look At Business” - continued - Wagon Wheel Restaurant WAGON WHEEL RESTAURANT located at 10900 U.S. Hwy. 65 in Mesa, phone 970-268-5220, has been long regarded as one of the local residents favorite! This fine restaurant features a complete menu with all of the traditional favorites and daily specials. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner, this is one restaurant where meals are served hot, delicious and just the way you like them. Stop in today for a hot breakfast, lunch or dinner and see if they can’t cook your food just the way you ordered it. The reasonable prices and friendly service are a couple reasons that so many families make dining at WAGON WHEEL RESTAURANT a regular habit. You can also get any item on the menu prepared to go. For fine food, fast service and reasonable prices, the writers of this 2011 Look At Business take pride in suggesting WAGON WHEEL RESTAURANT to all of our readers. Deanna and her staff thank all their friends and customers and join area businesses in wishing everyone the Best for the Holidays. Since 1970 Jerry & Myra O’Dwyer – Owners Licensed & Bonded Lic. #242 Recognized throughout the area as one of the leaders in their field, O’DWYER ELECTRIC are specialists in all phases of residential, commercial, agricultural and industrial i n s t allations. With offices located at 353 27 1/2 R d . i n G r a n d J u n c t i o n , p h o n e 970-245-9185, this prominent firm can install, maintain or repair anything electrical! No wonder business people and homeowners throughout the area contact O’DWYER ELECTRIC when they need the best in electrical work and/or service. If you own a home, an older commercial or agricultural building, or are planning to build a new one soon, call O’DWYER ELECTRIC and they’ll come out to see what you need in the way of new installations or rewiring of that existing structure. This company is fully aware of all the requirements of the state and local building codes, and will assist you in every way to bring your electrical service up to the standards that the law requires. You can rest assured that the work will be done with everyone’s safety in mind. Jerry and Myra personally thank their customers and wish everyone Happy Holidays! Miracle Method Surface Refinishing Owned & Operated By Robert Klein Has the sparkling finish on your bathtub gone down the drain? Is your tub hard to keep clean, dull looking, stained or just the wrong color? If you think that you must continue to endure this aggravating situation until you can totally remodel or replace your fixtures, then, MIRACLE METHOD SURFACE REFINISHING has some good news for you! With their exclusive method of restoration, they can turn your dulllooking tub into a gleaming, like-new fixture. MIRACLE METHOD SURFACE REFINISHING’s resurfacing experts offer a written warranty for their service that can be applied to porcelain and fiberglass tubs, sinks and showers as well as for tile and countertops. This economic solution to a common problem uses the latest technology in bathroom restoration. Thousands of colors are available to complement your decor and you’ll find the rates charged by these fully insured professionals are very reasonable. Located in Grand Junction, these craftsmen take pride in their quality work and have many satisfied customers throughout the area. Call 970-462-3888 or 1-888-271-7690 or visit www.miraclemethod.com for more information or for a free estimate. MIRACLE METHOD SURFACE REFINISHING wishes everyone a Happy and Safe Holiday Season! Specializing In Synthetic Stucco Systems Charles Hutchison – Owner Custom application of ALL lathing, plastering and stucco systems is available just by calling QUALITY STUCCO WEST located at 387 Roberts Ct. in Grand Junction, phone 970-242-5769! As specialists in all phases of stucco and plastering, this outstanding contractor has won the praise and approval of many homeowners and businesses in the local area for the high quality of their work as well as their professional businesslike manner. They do commercial and residential work and have gained an enviable reputation as being some of the best people for the job. Their list of satisfied customers and their down-to-earth business policies serve as their best recommendation, and their work speaks for itself! We suggest that you contact QUALITY STUCCO WEST for any AND all of your stucco and plastering needs! Charles and his crew appreciate your business and wish everyone a Great Holiday Season! Overpass Auto Repair Family Owned & Operated By Louie, Sylvia, Roman & Joey Diaz Since 1991 Se Habla Español What do you look for in an auto repair shop? Efficiency? Friendliness? Realistic prices? Well, OVERPASS AUTO REPAIR offers all of this and more! Located at 3356 1/2 F Rd. (on the way to Palisade) in Clifton, phone 970-434-4390, this first-rate repair shop can take care of your car and save you money doing it! They offer a free shuttle service, years of experience and the right tools to make doing business with this outstanding shop such a pleasure. OVERPASS AUTO REPAIR wants every customer to know that their PERSONAL guarantee of satisfaction accompanies every job, whether it be an oil change, overhaul, a computer diagnostic, 4x4, brake, driveline, transmission or carburetor work. OVERPASS AUTO REPAIR can handle any general maintenance and repairs on imports and domestic vehicles that your car requires. They welcome fleet customers for maintenance and repairs. Give this quality-conscious firm a try! Louie, Sylvia, Roman, Joey, and staff thank all of their customers and friends and wish you a Safe and Happy Holiday Season and the Very Best in 2012. Locally Owned & Operated By Don Murray Commercial * Residential * Structural Steel When it comes to certified welding, see DON’S WELDING LLC located at 869 18 1/2 Rd. in Fruita, phone 970-858-1083, cell 970-260-0024 or FAX 970-858-4706. No job too big or too small, in shop or mobile repair. This fully equipped shop features welding for all types of metals and they are well known as doing only the very finest work. When you bring a piece of equipment to them for repairs, you can rest assured that the work will be done to your complete satisfaction. They use only the very latest equipment, specializing in fabrication, wrought iron gates, cast iron repairs, cast aluminum, fences, railing, oil field fabrication and much more. If you have a special piece of equipment you are thinking of building, bring the requirements to DON’S WELDING LLC and they will handle the job from conception to completion. Industrial, automotive, agricultural and any other form of equipment that requires the best in repair work requires DON’S WELDING LLC to get the job done right. T h e w r i t e r s o f t h i s 2 0 11 L o o k A t B u s i n e s s s u g g e s t t h a t y o u c o n t a c t D O N ’ S WELDING LLC for your custom welding needs. Don thanks and wishes all his friends and customers a Happy and Safe Holiday Season. Las Marias Authentic Mexican Family Restaurant & Tamales To Go Grand Junction Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram With so many of the new models being similar in features and price, how does the prospective new car buyer know WHICH vehicle is best for him? Well, as the saying goes, "If you don't know cars...know who you buy from." In the Grand Junction area, consumers are very fortunate in having dealer like GRAND JUNCTION CHRYSLER DODGE JEEP RAM. Located at 2578 U.S. Hwy. 6 & 50, phone 970-245-3100, they are your authorized dealer for famous Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Ram cars, trucks, SUV’S and pre-owned vehicles. Besides offering a full line of quality automobiles, t h i s co mmunity-minded dealership bases its su c c e s s o n a s i m p l e f a c t o f g o o d business: KEEP the customer satisfied! The business of customer satisfaction begins in the showroom and continues right on through to their complete service department where skilled technicians and the latest diagnostic test equipment assure you that your new or pre-owned Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep and Ram vehicle will "keep you satisfied" for many years to come! Stop by GRAND JUNCTION CHRYSLER DODGE JEEP RAM's showroom very soon. We believe you'll be satisfied! Their team joins area businesses in wishing everyone the Best of the Holidays! Pick up The Source for FREE at these locations Pufferbelly Station Pita Pit Cinnamon Grill Ottos Roosters The Ale House True Value Hardware Dos Hombres The SOURCE / December 2011 4 Clifton Post Office Palisade Post Office Fruita Post Office American National Bank Dolce Vita Lobby Triple Play Records Big J Jewelry & Loan Blue Moon Locally Owned & Operated By Maria Maestas For authentic Mexican food, the people of this area visit LAS MARIAS AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FAMILY RESTAURANT & TAMALES TO GO located at 2692 U.S. Hwy 50, Ste. E in Grand Junction, phone 970-241-2398. Through the efforts of the management to serve only true Mexican dishes with a real flavor of the country, as well as interesting Mexican decor, this restaurant has become a very popular eating place. They have captured the true tangy flavor of Mexican dishes by using the exact spices and foods to prepare them. Contrary to the belief that Mexican food is very hot, they serve all their dishes with the hot sauce on the side, so that you can enjoy it the way you want. Bring the whole family in for a truly great breakfast, lunch, or dinner! Be sure to ask about their tamales to go. They are open Tues. – Sat., 6am – 9pm, and Sun., 6am – 3pm, closed Mondays. They will be closed Dec. 24 at 2pm - Jan. 2nd, and will re-open Jan. 3, 2012 at 6am. Maria and her crew at LAS MARIAS AUTHENTIC MEXICAN RESTAURANT & TAMALES TO GO wish everyone a Happy Holiday Season! State Building Hart Music Mesa Mall DMV Fisher Liqour Barn Goodwill Lois’ Place St. Mary’s Hospital College Liquor Store International Bufett All Pro Liquor Health Department Texas Roadhouse Wrigley Field Mesa State College Bocaza Docs on Call Shiners Car Wash Horizon Towers Pizza Hut Clifton Los Jilbertos Rib City Albertsons 12th Street Marriott Courtyard Marriott Residence Inn Village Inn Horizon Drive Juice Stop Orchard Mesa Bowl Kitty’s Jewelry, Etc. Genuine Gemstone Hand Made Jewelry Imported Asian Clothing Boots & Accessories Sexy Clothing & Outfits Starting @ $1995 By appt only: 813-486-9778 or visit our website at www.kittysjewelry.net 2122 North Avenue, Grand Junction 970-433-4156 Direct Yvonne 970-241-5370 Office. Sonja Kent, Home-based Entrepreneur Name: Sonja Kent Age: 57 Occupation: Housewife Hobbies: Sewing and crafting Family: Married to Gary; three grown children Favorite Restaurant: Dos Hombres, Randy’s Southside Diner in Clifton Goals: to have Sonja’s Snuggables some day be successful enough to support us comwww.sonjassnuggables. com and I have two stores where they are consigned—Lavender Lady and Friends at 213 main in Palisade, and Trinket Corner, 1141 N. 25th Street, Suite B in Grand Junction. In November, I showed and sold Snuggables at the Holy Family craft fair, the Shelledy Elementary craft fair, and the Parachute craft fair. In December, we’ll be at the Grand Villa Assisted Living at 1501 Patterson Rd. Is it hard to run a business out of your house? At times, it is, but for the most part I really like the convenience. I forgot to mention that I have a new pattern from Simplicity that’s due out approximately December 16. That pattern will feature the winged horse Pegasus, and patterns for dog, puppy, and a panda. 23 Years of Serving Western Colorado and now I can help you decorate your drive-way with a new car or truck for the holidays. Financing available, and on-sight lenders to help you build your credit. Call Yvonne for a Test Drive today!! The SOURCE Business Profile Carville’s Auto Mart Do you sew custom order requests? Sonja’s Snuggables When did you start producing your line of snuggable animals? About four years ago. What is the most popular animal with your customers? That’s hard to say, as the elephant and the giraffe seem to be tied in popularity right now. How long does it take to make one? It takes approximately 2.5 hours. Where have you been selling these little creatures? I sell them on my Web site at http://www.sonjassnuggables. Oh, yes! Give me 3-7 days, and i can have it ready for you, in your choice of colors and critters! The animals are made out of fleece with child-safe eyes, and they’re made in a smoke-free, pet-free atmosphere. They are machine washable with cold water and a low heat dryer. I love to watch people of all ages with my creations—the way their eyes light up. It’s amazing to me that I was able to create something that brings happiness to so many…. Cuisine [email protected] By Trace Hillman Elk Egg Rolls Original Hand Crafted Gifts 970-434-7449 www.sonjassnuggables.com Great Gifts for: Christmas • Birthdays • Weddings Graduation • Anniversaries Each animal can be custom made for you to fit your color(s) or theme preferences. Several Styles to Choose From Buffalo • Elephant • Frog • Giraffe Hippo • Horse • Lion • Dinosaur Monkey • Mammoth • Turtle Ram • Pig • Sports Theme Visit us at these Craft Fairs! Shelledy Craft Fair November 12th 9:00 am to 2:00 pm 171 N. Peach St Fruita Cooking with Trace egg rolls or made the mixture to roll. So I was flying blind... but I had ingredients. I had elk steak, a bag of pre-shredded coleslaw mix (shredded cabbage and carrots, no dressing), I had extra fresh carrot for more low calorie bulk, rice wine vinegar, chicken base, wasabi powder; and I had the drive to make something tasty! So I used my grill pan to sear the elk to medium rare, and I set it aside to rest. I added slaw veggies to the hot pan with the juice from the elk (mostly water, since there is so little fat). As it was cooking down, I added 1 teaspoon chicken base (better than bullion) to a 1 cup of hot water, mixed thoroughly and added 1 tsp wasabi powder (be careful—it can be potent). After it cooks down for a few minutes and cabbage starts to soften, add a tablespoon of rice wine vinegar to the mixture and continue cooking until veggies look like sauerkraut. Add the meat back in the mixture and stir to combine. At this point, I let the meat cool (actually I stored it in the refrigerator for a couple of days because of my hectic week). Follow instructions on egg roll wrappers to fill and roll. I used the process for baking (brush with olive oil instead of cooking spray). I flipped them over about 10 minutes into the baking to ensure that they would crisp up on both sides. I will make them again and I will tweak the recipe a little to make the flavors pop—more wasabi, soy sauce, maybe sesame oil... who knows? Now go cook a wild animal! Send me a note or leave a comment to let me know what you do! 970-434-7449 Parachute Craft Fair November 19th 9:00 am to 4:00 pm Grand Valley High School Parachute Grand Villa December 3rd 1501 Patterson Road Grand Junction Buy 2 Items - Save $5 Mention this ad to Save $5 Sonja’s Snuggables 5 The SOURCE / December 2011 I am experimenting with elk meat to come up with new ideas for a friend with abundance. I’ve added the ground meat to tacos, eggs, quesadillas, etc. I cooked steaks and sliced them, diced them—and I enjoyed it all. The meat is tender, mild flavored and extremely low fat. Of all the red meats, including beef, lamb, pork, buffalo, white-tailed deer, mule deer and elk, the elk is the highest in protein and lowest in fat. I asked around, and I found that a lot of people like elk compared to other wild game. Several individuals use it in place of beef in all of their recipes. I wanted to try something new, and I had just run my wonton experiments (wonton-wrapped cheese sticks, bananas, apples and cinnamon, etc.) so I thought... egg rolls. Now, I‘ve never made rolled The SOURCE t County Corner...29 Road Overpass is Open h g ri & ft le s n io in p o t n ri p e W Feedback The 29 Road Overpass is Open! There’s a major new transportation corridor in the central Grand Valley that will provide a muchneeded connection between the northern and southern parts of the valley. The completion of the 29 Road It will relieve traffic congestion in other areas—improving traffic flow for all of us—as well as providing a more direct route for the people who live, work and shop in the areas around 29 Rd. The completion of the project will significantly improve emergency response times for ambulance, Read Us On The Web www.yvsource.com 5JMF )BSEXPPE $BCJOFUT $PVOUFSUPQT $VTUPN#BST 2VBMJUZ8PSL4FOJPS%JTDPVOUT %FDLT &YUFSJPS1BJOU )PU5VC3FQBJS 2VBMJUZ8PSL TV SOURCE Every December we feature our “Look at Business,” brought to us by our long-time publishing friends at Community Press Service in Idaho. This has become a very popular feature for our readers over the years. You can Look at Business on page 2-3. We have also started a new service directory. We have avoided this for years because there is a lot of administration that goes with this type of section. Finally, it looks like we’ve partnered up with a software company that will make the administration part go smoothly. The great thing about a service directory is that it’s affordable for any type—and any size—of business. So far, the response has been good. Check it out; it’s on page 9. Last Saturday was rocking downtown for the Parade of Lights. This year, GJ Pipe did not one but two of their amazing floats. I’ve always wondered how long it takes to get those floats ready for the parade. The turnout this year looked to be the same as always—BUSY. Wall-to-wall bundled-up folks waiting for hours along the street for the parade to start. It’s really mind boggling how many people attend this decidedly chilly parade. It’s great that the non-profits can set up and sell their goods to the parade goers. In February, we will be celebrating our 20th year of publishing. I’m hoping that 2012 is a prosperous and busy year for all small business owners. We certainly wouldn’t have lasted 20 years if it weren’t for the support of small business owners. Unfortunately, we get very little support from the big-box, franchise-type businesses. We don’t quite fit into Samsara—In the heart the their business formulas. One thing is for sure, they are missing outofon 5FMMVSJEF.PVOUBJOGJMNCPBTUT knife-sharp Vindhya Mountains % GM>KIKBL>L reaching thousands of our loyal local and regional readers. it’s their in India sits aBut 6,500-foot rock XPSMEQSFNJFSFTPQFOJOHOJHIU loss. Thank you for picking up our paper! Whenroute you’re it, that finished resembles with a massive shark fin. In Samsara, all-star pass it on or recycle it. teaminConrad Anker, Be sure to check out the various calendar events climbing happening December. Jimmy Chin and Renan Ozturk Overpass (and the new interchange police and fire services. Estimates It looks like a busy month for entertainment. set out to attempt a first ascent. show response times decreasing by at I-70B) has been eagerly anticiWith Anker, Chin and Ozturk, two minutes for almost 24,000 peopated in the community, in part in person. Jeffrey Inks - Publisher The Farm: 10 Down—A deeply because it provides drivers another ple and two schools in the area. Editorial Policy textured portrayal of the lives of The changes in driving patterns way to travel over the I-70 Business The Source welcomes your opinions, observations and comments. Weinmates ask thatinyou your several theedit notorious will also bring environmental benletters to less than 200 words, and we reserve the right to editAngola for coherence, space considerPrison in Louisiana, oth- Loop and the Union Pacific railroad erwise Farm.” tracks. ations and concerns about libel. Your letters must be signed (an emailknown addressasis“The considered efits in the form of reduced vehicle a signature). Email to [email protected]. Mail letters to The Filmmaker Source, 411.5Jonathan Main St., Stack’s Grand emissions. The new overpass elimiWHY DID WE BUILD IT? first film about the prison, The The 31st Annual Mountainfilm party on Saturday, a book fair of Farm: Angola USA, won the Junction CO 81501 This additional corridor will save nates many vehicle miles currently F e s t i v a l a t Te l l u r i d e M a y forty authors on Sunday, panel Grand Prize at Sundance and traveled between the 29 Road cor2 2 – 2 5 , s t a r t s w i t h a F o o d conversations, and two live the- was nominated for an Oscar in people miles and driving time. The Symposium. Opening night, ater pieces—one featuring the 1998. With Stack and Ashante, direct route will make it easier ridor and the 30 Road underpass. each Mountainfilm theater will work of Howard Zinn. in person. The new north/south corridor and faster for residents to travel to The opening night premieres showcase World Premieres. Interviews, 50 Cents— creates a more efficient bus route and from North Avenue, Orchard These films cover the full range include: Filmmaker Ethan Boehme and of Mountainfilm programming Ken Burns’ The National former NPR host Alex Chadwick Mesa, Patterson Road, Fruitvale and for Grand Valley Transit, connectfrom adventure to environmen- Parks: America’s Best Idea, a have teamed up for this origiing residential areas with the North points beyond. tal activism to social issues. The biography of the most com- nal series involving two foldAvenue commercial films will follow the Moving pelling characters in the often- ing chairs, a card table and a Mountains Symposium on turbulent national parks story, cigar box with a sign that reads area and service food with keynote speaker Bill and a sweeping portrait of the “Interviews, 50 Cents.” With e h T providers such as McKibben and the free Gallery incomparably vast and diverse Boehme and Chadwick, in perWalk, which features sixteen art- American landscape. Ken Burns son. the Mesa County ists at eight galleries. will be there in person. Workforce Center. “We have a big show this year The project also across the board,” said Festival Director David Holbrooke. “The encourages multisymposium is jam-packed with a modal use of the wide range of food experts. The transportation corGallery Walk is our biggest ever, Get your cooler ready for summer with our and the films cover a lot of terriridor by including tory. On opening night alone we Finally Spring Special Call Dr. Swamp for: We have frequent bike lanes and sidego from a first ascent in India to specials, senior, Home Improvement non-profit & walks in the street Angola Prison in Louisiana.” Basic Service $40 (was$45) Landscape Design other discounts. Thorough cleaning of casing and all internal parts. Call now to see There will also be six breaksection. Inspection for leaks, damaged parts & proper operation. if you qualify! Installation of pads only, cost of pads are addityional.) fast talks each day, a Main Street The FREE Local Guide to News, Arts*(labor and Entertainment Two stage leak test (pasive and active) There are safety is published every 4 weeks and distributed free across the Western Slope, including in room delivery to hundreds of hotel / motel rooms. benefits to the Premier Service $50 + cost of pads To reach us call 970.256.9288 or write to 0GG Premier Service Includes: Basic Service, Vinegar Clean Flush, New Pump Screen project, as well. It 411.5 Main St., Grand Junction CO 81501 645 XJUIUIJTDPVQPO Pads at our cost - NO PREMIUM! email: [email protected] will reduce vehiPublisher: Jeffrey B. Inks /05)&3 cle traffic at the Resident Angels: John McKean, Jade Inks, William Inks, Dan Hanley, Dee Dorrance, Priscilla Inks Ninth Street railJLF Managing Editor: Gayle Meyer road crossing, and Featured Contributors: 1&$*"-5: Gayle Meyer, Jeffery Taylor, Barry Smith, Jennifer Katzfey, Lyle Stout, reduce the number Jack Bollan, Kevin LaDuke, Trace Hillman, Jeffrey B. Inks, Joleen Espinoza, 'SBNJOHt3PPGJOH of pedestrians and Shannon Gass, Sharlene Woodruff, Cathy Kytola, Seth Hensley, Brett Forrester %SZXBMMt$BCJOFUT bicyclists illegally www.yvsource.com 'MPPSJOH crossing the tracks The opinions expressed herein are those of the writers and may not at 29 Road. 8FTQFDJBMJ[FJO')"QVSDIBTFSFGJOBODFBOESFWFSTFNPSUHBHF represent the opinions of this publication, its owners, or its advertisers. MPBOTJOBEEJUJPOUP.UO1SPQT$POWFOUJPOBMBOE+VNCP Writing submission guidelines available upon request. Generally, the Recycle, reflect, rejoice in the richness. 8FQBZGPSZPVSBQQSBJTBMXIFO completion of this Dr. Swamp + " . 4 970-314-5553 ZPVDMPTFZPVSMPBOXJUIVT *UTUJNFUPHFUUIPTF IPNFJNQSPWFNFOU QSPKFDUTEPOF 6 When you’re in a JAM call Mike 970-261-4443 $BQJUBM$PODFQU$PSQ 205 8th Street Glenwood 8UI"WF4UF #SPPNGJFME$0 1 ' FNBJMNFLB!DBQJUBMDPODFQUDPSQDPN 970-945-5011 www.hauteplatebistro.com PIZZA - SANDWICHES - PASTA 970-945-5011 Full Bar The SOURCE / December 2011 Breakfast Eggs Benedict Breakfast Burrito Eggs Florentine Pancakes French Toast Huevos Rancheros Many Many More... Lunch Gyros French Tip Philly Chesse Steak Chicken Tenders Rebuen Greek Salad Many Many More... Dinner Lasagna Chicken Parmesan Spaghetti Grilled Shrimp Alfredo Cannoli • Calzone Many Many More... Pizza Pepperoni - Sausage - Ham- Peppers - Mushrooms Pineapple -Olives - Tomatoes - Basil 16in $15.99 • 20in $19.99 www.krydfm.com Listen Online FREE DELIVERY with order of $20 or more “Down Town’s Best Restaurant” Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner 3 YV SOURCE / May 15 - June 11, 2009 Haute Plate Bistro 'JOBODJBMBEWJDFZPVDBODPVOUPO project will increase the overall efficiencies and flow of the local transportation system, improving both local and regional traffic. WHAT DID WE BUILD? The overpass extends 29 Road from D ½ Road—where it used to end—across the railroad tracks, and adds a connection to I-70B and North Avenue. 29 Road now provides travelers a straight shot from Orchard Mesa all the way to Patterson Road. The project consisted of: • Approximately 3.7 miles of new or reconstructed roadway; • The main 871-foot long concrete roadway bridge (consisting of seven spans); • A 322- foot-long concrete ramp connecting to I-70B (consisting of five spans); • A five-lane urban arterial with sidewalks and bike lanes; • 377 individual steel piles with a combined length of over 3.5 miles; • Construction of 67,000 square feet of retaining walls; • Approximately 6,300 feet of storm drain, sewer, and irrigation pipe. WHAT DID IT COST? The 29 Road and I-70B Interchange project was jointly funded by Mesa County and the City of Grand Junction. The costs of the project were partially funded by a $3.2 million Energy Impact Grant from the Colorado Department of Local Affairs (DOLA). T h e c o n t r a c t o r, L a w r e n c e C o n s t ru c t i o n C o m p a n y, w a s awarded the contract last year for $19,312,363.34. WHAT’S NEXT? The final phase of the project will be a future connection to Interstate 70 at 29 Road when funding becomes available. by GaylePIE? Meyer HOO HAH! IS THAT PUMPKIN My sister Babs was characteristically tactful when she called to tell me what traditional delicacy I should slave for days preparing for the family Christmas feast. “Cut up some raw vegetables,” she said, “and buy some dips.” “Gee, if I have time left, can I do anything else?” I inquired with just a soupcon of sarcasm. “Oh, yeah,” Babs said. “Give me your recipe—assuming you used one—for that turnip-horseradishbleu cheese soufflé thing you made one year.” “What year was that?” I perked up, encouraged that Babs, an accomplished cook, had found one of my dishes memorable. “I can’t remember,” she hesitated. “I may have blocked it out after we took Grandma to the emergency room that night.” “Oh, HUH!” I shot back cleverly. “There was never conclusive proof my soufflé was responsible. Cousin Herb had three helpings and no complaints!” “Herb has the palate and the metabolism of a pot-belly stove.” “Then why do you want the recipe?” I parlayed peevishly. “Oh,” she brightened, “Mindy’s making a Nativity scene for Sunday school. I think your soufflé would work as the crusted snow ground cover.” It’s been difficult maintaining any culinary confidence in a family of Cordon Bleu chefs who consider me a Cord-Unplugged cook. Mindful of my sensibilities, however, no one brings up (in my hearing, at least) my fateful attempt to produce pumpkin pies one Thanksgiving. Although it Books A Book Review for Young Readers Daughter of Smoke and Bone By Laini Taylor By Jade Inks Released September 27, 2011 Age Group: Young Adult (12-18) Book Source: Insider @ Library Karou’s world is a place where winged creatures roam the sky and a chimaera named Brimstone collects all sorts of teeth for his mysterious necklaces. Brimstone’s teeth will soon run out. Karou is the ‘errand’ runner for Brimstone; she does anything he needs. Why? Because, although Brimstone is a monster, he is all Karou has known for family since a young age. He is her family. Who is Karou? She doesn’t know. Her hair grows blue naturally from the roots. She speaks many languages—languages of humans and monsters alike. She fills sketchbooks with dramatic drawings of monsters that are real, but a secret for her to keep. Karou is a mystery to herself and to everyone else. But that is the question she keeps getting asked. Who is she? What is she? When black, fiery handprints begin appearing on doors and por- happened years ago, I remember how a hush fell on the gathering as I served my pie. I’d never seen 25 people collectively hold their breath—it sucked all the festive ambience from the room! Finally, the more adventuresome breathed again. They picked warily at their pie. “Ah, what’s pumpkin pie without lots of topping?” my brother Warren boomed. “Indeed—lots of topping!” Aunt Bonnie agreed, wresting the Cool Whip from her sobbing granddaughter. Grandma patted my cheek. “I never considered using whole cloves and cinnamon sticks in a custard pie,” she smiled indulgently. “It’s all from scratch,” I shrugged modestly. “And I substituted winter squash for the pumpkin.” “Well, the lumps and strings give it, uh, texture,” my sister allowed. Give the Gift of Downtown 7 www.DowntownGJ.org The SOURCE / December 2011 tals all over the world, catastrophe is expected. Karou doesn’t know what it is or how to stop it. When a wonderful stranger, Akiva, finds Karou, Karou haunts him. He sees beauty in her face. Together they find hidden secrets, dangerous love and, most of all, they discover who she is. Whether Karou likes who she is or not, together she and Akiva are going to find out. I thank my school’s wonderful librarian, Mrs. Johnson. She let me borrow the school’s copy of this book before it was processed because she knew how much I wanted to read it. I appreciate her kindness, and I hope she will do the same in the future! Daughter of Smoke and Bone has been on my to-read list for quite some time. I had hoped it would fulfill my great expectations of this new series. And, indeed, it did! It surpassed my expectations! This new fantastical world of mythological creatures twisted my mind and gave me joy. This book was beyond wonderful. I loved the voice that Laini Taylor incorporated into this book. Her writing was great; her style told the story and just sucked me in—I could not put it down. This mystery is one of the best books I have read ever. I cannot wait for the sequel! Karou is definitely going on my list of book characters I would want for a best friend, right next to Katniss from The Hunger Games and Mara Dyer from The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer. Karou was unlike any character I have ever ‘met.’ Her stubbornness and capability were so endearing and awesome to watch unravel throughout the book. Karou definitely grew as a character throughout the book, and it made her even more enticing at the end. The thing I enjoyed most was the unpredictability of this entire story. Just as soon as you started thinking you knew what came next, Laini Taylor just flipped you around, and you landed on your head. Sometimes unpredictability in a book can be annoying and irritating, but this accomplished the opposite—it encouraged me to continue reading. Laini Taylor does a fantastic job of snagging the reader right away and leaving the reader wanting more at the end. It’s definitely a book you NEED to read! I can’t wait for the sequel. Some writers just cannot write fast enough! “Shaken, not stirred!” “I know a fool-proof recipe—no offense,” Liz enthused. “Just host a Tupperware piecrust party!” I did. Ten pie-makers and I watched as Liz plied her wares in my kitchen. Her patter was as bright and slick as the plastics she employed to tidily measure, mix, roll, size and shape her easy-mix foolproof dough. But scarcely into her demonstration, Liz’s hair knotted on her dewy forehead. “For heaven’s sake, this won’t hold together,” she giggled nervously. “I’ll just mix it a bit more.” When her arms sagged limply, Liz whiffed strings of hair out of her eyes, pounded dough boulders together, and rolled them out. “Oh dear,” she whined, ”it’s sticking to my patented pastry sheet!” She continued laboring. “Well!” she huffed. “This crust never ripped before!” An impish grin played on my sister Babs’ lips. “Liz,” she asked, “does Tupperware make any amulets in decorator plastic? Anything to ward off hexes and jinxes?” “Let me see—” Liz frowned, distracted. Sloughing dried dough from shaking hands, she rummaged through counter debris for a catalog. “Sis,” Babs chuckled as she turned to me, “stick with Tupperware—buy bowls for storing and serving cut vegetables and dips.” The SOURCE Eve’s Rib By Gayle Meyer [email protected] “Too bad I just started this darned diet!” “How did you make the crust?” sister-in-law Gracie asked as she realigned the tines on her fork. “I used your recipe,” I beamed. Glances ricocheted around the room. Gracie couldn’t stifle a convulsive shudder. Gradually whitestreaked wedges of picked-at pie piled up at the sink. My sisters had me ramrod a game for the kids downstairs, and they disposed of the remains. Downstairs, I heard the disposal rumble, devouring my offering…. I don’t know when I lost what little knack I’d ever claimed with piecrust. I do recall my son Newt, age six or so, requesting I whip up a batch to resole his sneakers. “Kill him, Mom,” his older brother Dev had suggested hopefully. I made a show of deliberation. “Naw,” I declared finally, “it was too much trouble having him.” Besides, Newt was right: My piecrust had edged past edible years before. But after that incident, I exhausted every recipe I could find, finagle or fabricate. One resembled Ninja Turtle Mutant Ooze; another pebbled like road-base; still another was decidedly Flubber-ish. “What’s the secret of piecrust, Liz?” I blubbered on the Tupperware lady’s shoulder. “Women give their piecrust the same snotty reverence James Bond gave his martinis: The SOURCE IRRELATIVITY...Dear Bad Guru NO REGRETS, THOUGH… I used to say that I have no regrets. I’d say this as often as the situation allowed. Or, if the situation didn’t allow, I’d create a situation that did, just so I could say it. Not always easy, but always worth it. Because there’s something so enlightened about not having regrets, isn’t there? Something just a little bit evolved-er-than-thou. That rare alignment of Zen and smug. “Wow,” people would (surely) think. “This guy has no regrets. I wish I could be more like him.” And the thing is, I actually believed it. I sincerely felt that, in the scope of my life, there was nothing that I regretted. Sure, there were things that I could have done differently, situations I’d have preferred to avoid—or embrace, moments where the “diem” could have been more passionately “carped;” but in each instance, I can see how they all eventually led to something better. Kind of a “what don’t kill you makes you stronger” concept, only without sounding so much like a country music lyric. And it’s not like I’ve lived a sheltered life, either. No, I’ve had real, legitimately regrettable things happen to me—family deaths, unkind words spoken in anger, being a teenager in the 80s. It’s a long list, but it all crumbles before my “no regrets” mantra. FREE DELIVERY Even To Your Dorm! Open for Breakfast Mon-Sat 6:30am By Barry Smith [email protected] But then, just last week, something happened. We’re making our weekly trip to Home Depot, armed with a list of stuff we need to buy in order to move ahead on our neverending home renovation project. (Do I regret buying a house that needs far more work than I ever imagined? Ha! What do you think?) It’s a twohour round trip drive; and, once you get inside Home Depot, time expands, so it’ll be at least six hours later when we finally get home. We’ve gotten a bit of a late start, and we have other things to get to today, so...focused, efficient, productive... that’s what we’re shooting for. Our big left turn happens at this quirky little intersection in the town of Delta CO. On one corner is the pot store. On the other is an out-of- business gas station. Apparently it’s possible to stay in business selling pot, but not selling gasoline. The gas station’s abandoned pump area has become an unofficial swap meet/ craft fair lot. Birdhouses have dominated this corner for the past few weeks. An older man has a little trailer parked there, with folding tables set up along each street, each of them laden with birdhouses of varying sizes, styles and colors. There’s a little sandwich board set up right by the road—“Grandpa’s Hobby Hut.” And I have to say, it’s just downright, down-home adorable. We always look forward to a Grandpa sighting on our trips to Big Box Village. Last week, Grandpa had decided to do some multi-tasking. In between helping customers, he was painting “Grandpa’s Hobby Hut” in big, bold, all-caps on the side of his trailer. I caught the green light, so I was turning left when Christina pointed it out to me. “It says ‘GRANDPA’S HO’ on his trailer.” I glanced over my shoulder as I completed the turn. Omigod! He’s just putting the finishing touches on the “O.” There’s an old man painting “GRANDPA’S HO” on the side of a trailer. This is pretty much the moment my whole life has led up to! Can you imagine the Facebook response once I make this my profile photo? It’ll totally go viral! And all I have to do is turn around, make the block, and snap a picture. But, at each opportunity, I hesitate, putting on my blinker and switching it off again. On kind of a tight schedule, after all. Got a house to fix up. Need to have a place to, you know, live this winter. Should keep moving—shopping to do— stay on task. Gotta be responsible. Gotta grow up some time. Soon, I’d passed the point of no return. Turning around here would just be a waste. Anyway, it’s probably “GRANDPA’S HOB” by now, which is of no use to me. I kept driving, leaving Grandpa to the undocumented painting of his trailer. And I’ll regret that for as long as I live. Have a Great Day! FRE Large Dr E Order of ink or Fri With Purc hase of E es ntr w MAVca ee rd Must Sho HOURS: Mon-Thurs•10:30am-8pm Fri-Sat•10:30am-10pm 936NorthAvenue (BelowNorthAvenueDorms) The SOURCE / December 2011 8 424-5490 Denise Scan With Smart Device Read Us Online For FREE Affordable Monthly Advertising 970-256-9288 #1 - Joleen For Sale Flooring - Snow Removal Recycling 1982 Eldorado Lowrider with Custom Paint. 10 Switches, 2 Pumps, $3000. 970-234-9969 Complete flooring installation & repair. Hardwood, Tile, Carpet, & Vinyl. Call David 970-208-5145. We also do Snow Removal & Landscaping. E-Waste Recyclers of Colorado Flooring -Montrose Kooltron cooler. $79. This is in perfect shape. This holds 12 cans of your favorite beverage. It also comes with tokens to purchase your beverage. Perfect gift for you husbands man cave. 970-234-4657. Microphone Stands for sale. 970-234-4657 High Ball Commercial Trampoline. Start your own business with this amazing trampoline. High Ball combines volleyball & basketball into a super fun exciting game. Four players fit on one tramp. Players elevate themselves as high as 12’ off the ground! We have two units available. Call 970-243-8846. Are Your Floors Clean? Call us Kick The Bucket Tile cleaning, LLC Let us help you fall in love with your tile again! 970-255-0844 Drew Moore, Esq. Specializing in Individual & Business Bankruptcy Bad Debt? Credit Problems Free Consultation 300 Main Street, Suite 103 • Grand Junction 970-256-9017 Gone but not forgotten! WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE FREE RECYCLING! Business or Residential Computers, Electronics (small fee for CRT monitors & TV’s) (970)812-3020 www.ewasteofco.com 655 North 1st Street Grand Junction Daily Drop Off Hours Mon-Fri 9-4 • Sat. 10-2 Restaurant Equipment Dan Hanley June 30, 1952 - November 23, 1999 Moving Affordable Actions Moving Services, LLC “We Take Care of What You Treasure” - Household goods, relocation by professional movers, full packing services available. We also specialize in servicing the do it yourself mover. Loading, Unloading, Rental Trucks, Pods & Uboxes. Call us for a FREE on site estimate. 970-812-7243 Snowmobile Repair Snowmobile, ATV service, or winterize your motorcycle at McCycles in Montrose 4078 N Townsend Ave or find us on the web at www.mccycles.net 970-964-8127 The SOURCE Service Directory Bankruptcy When you need the best in town, call Good Shepherd Carpet Cleaning! Jet Spray Juice Dispenser $450 - Open to trades. 970-234-4657 Window Tinting Montrose Window Tinting & Auto Detailing Kelle Wilson-Owner/Installer Competitive Pricing Full Service Detail. Drop Off On Your Way To The Airport Call For Appointment 970-249-8706 355 N. Townsend Ave. Montrose, CO. 257-1111 Carpet Cleaning, upholstery cleaning, tile cleaning, wood cleaning, and air duct cleaning. 2 Rooms For 7500 $ *Up to200 sq ft. per rooms Expiration Date: 11-30-2011 One Stop Shopping for your one of a kind Holiday Gifts! Advertise in The Source Service Directory for $30 per month Call 970-256-9288 ext 1 Holiday Sale! Gift Cards & 60 Day Layaway Available Limited to quantities on hand Something for everyone on your shopping list Jewelry & Supplies • Antiques • Coffee Shop • Lapidary • Imports • Shoes New & Used Items • Incense • Used Furniture • Purses • Outdoor Items Clothes • Hair Salon • Collectables • Food Vendors • Candy •Toys • Misc Every Friday, Saturday & Sunday 9 am - 6pm Vendors - Call to reserve your spot! 136 S. 7th Street Main St. 7th St. Grand Junction 243-9332 9 Big J 515 S. 7th. Street • 314-5302 The SOURCE / December 2011 Quality Diamond & Gold Jewelry LCD Flat Screen TVs Gaming Systems Guitars & Amps New & Used Firearms Silver & Turquoise Jewelry Fun for the entire family! The SOURCE 5 Piece Modular LIGHTED DANCE FLOOR For Rent Great for Weddings • Disco Parties Call 234•4657 for Info (970) 256-7072 2814 North Ave • Grand Junction (Across from Kmart) Incredible Sound Systems AUDIO VIDEO QUALITY Winter Window Tinting Remote Auto Start Back Up Camera Vinyl Graphix Custom Paint Blue Tooth Clear Bra EXPERT CUSTOM SERVICE Celtic band By Randy Raisch When it came time to review Korn’s latest release, The Path of Totality, the review was writing itself in my mind before the music even started... “After a few good releases in the mid- and late-nineties (and a handful of mildly average releases since) Bakersfield, California’s Korn is back with its tenth studio album blah, blah, blah... As leaders of the American ‘numetal’ scene, the band has trudged along for almost two decades blah, blah blah... Korn seems to have lost its way over the last few albums, as the members’ nu-metal sound has slowly evolved into boring, unlistenable blah, blah, blah....” And so on and so forth. The band has been traveling a downward spiral, from this analyst’s perspective, for years, as review after review has scathed the band for resting on its laurels, failing to grow musically and leveling out as a band. I agree with most of this rhetoric, as Korn has become more of a disappointment and less of the driving force behind nu-metal it once was. Long gone are the days of “A.D.I.D.A.S.” and “Freak on a Leash,” but considering the band at least USED to be good, I gave the record the obligatory listen. Maybe the band members finally listened to the critics, or came to the realization that they had become pretty stale. Whatever it was, Korn has simply changed the game again by creating an album filled with catchy hooks, strong lyrics, and, believe it or not, a heavy dubstep element. That’s right. Dubstep. The electronic/industrial/dance craze that is infecting today’s youth has found its way to the Korn camp, but before you accuse the band of Tunes Korn returns with a whole new bite! cashing in on the latest trend in an attempt to regain relevancy, think it through. Jonathan Davis claims the band has been doing it all along. “We were dubstep before there was dubstep,” states Davis. “Tempos at 140 with half-time drums, huge bassedout riffs. We used to bring out 120 subwoofers and line them across the whole front of the stage, 60 subs per side. We were all about the bass.” The singer also praised the younger fans of his band for embracing its new sound, but hit out at ‘oldschool metalheads’ who were being dismissive of it. He added: “These kids are onto something completely innovative and new. It’s pure and awesome and underground and heavy and different, not like stale-ass metal and rock’n’roll. I love them all, but the old-school metalheads are not open to change.” Wi t h t h e h e l p o f d u b s t e p gurus Skrillex, Noisia, Downlink and others, the band has put together a potentially ground-breaking album yet again, filled with effects and dance beats that just may bring Korn back to the forefront of modern metal. You can’t really call it numetal anymore, but it is definitely ‘new.’ The time was right for a change, and I found the new album energetic and refreshing. I also credit the band for taking the chance on something different. They knew from the get-go that they were bound to alienate a few fans along the way, yet decided to do it anyway—a reminder of the aggressive attitude the band once had and appears to have found once again. The featured producers are all on point here, but the stand-out effort belongs to newcomer Skrillex. His contributions to the tracks “Chaos Lives in Everything,” Narcissistic Cannibal,” and “Get Up” take the album over the top; they are pounding dubstep anthems. Where the album excels most, though, is in the fact that it still is a Korn record. Beneath all the bleeps and bloops, the listener is still well aware of exactly the band they are hearing. Davis’ voice is as haunting as ever, and there is no mistaking James “Munky” Shaffer’s guitars and Fieldy’s bass. If anything, the band is playing better than ever with a renewed spirit both musically and lyrically—both of which have been missing of late. Apparently, you CAN teach an old dog new tricks, and—regardless of what you read elsewhere—this pooch just got its bite back. FEAST ALL-NEW SHOW Champion Irish dancers The SOURCE / December 2011 10 ets k c i t y Hurr st! a f g n i o are g Three IRISH THUNDER shows: MONTROSE PAVILION: Thurs. Jan. 12, 7:30 PM AVALON THEATER Fri. Jan. 13, 7:30 PM GLENWOOD SPRINGS: High School, Sat. Jan. 14, 7:30 PM TICKET OUTLETS: online at www.JunctionConcerts.com no extra charge for online tickets! Grand Junction: Roper Music Montrose: Pavilion. Paonia: Farm & Home TICKETS, Montrose & Grand Junction: Adults: start at $26 in advance, $29 at the door. Kids start at $16. All seats reserved. Glenwood Springs: Adults: $19 in advance, $22 at the door. Kids $9. www.JunctionConcerts.com Santa attire! 254-3866. 10 Dec-Book Signing w/Nick Streza, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 2-4pm. 243-5113. 10 Dec-“Common Ski-related Injuries,” Dr. Huang, free, 11am, Fruita community Center, 324 N. Coulson, Fruita. Part of free winter series sponsored by Fruita & Family Health West. 858-0360. 10 Dec-Two Rivers Sams Chapter Good Sam RV Club. For time & location, call 523-5625 or 248-9846. 10 Dec-Wine-tasting & Music at KAFM, 6:30-9pm, 1310 Ute. $12/ person; $20/couple. Mesa County wines, music by Project Groove. 241-8801 x201. 10-11 Dec-Parents’ Night Out & Shopping Day. Seniors invite parents to leave their kids at first annual Parents’ Holiday Shopping Night at FCC. Sat 6:30-10pm, Sun 1-4:30pm. Your kids enjoy great meal, games, crafts. $10 ($10 each additional child, aged 5-12 years), Fruita Community Center, 324 N. Coulson. 858-0360. 10 Dec-2 Jan, 2012-Cross Orchards 23rd annual Christmas Train Show, four weekends Dec 10 thru Jan 1, 10am-4pm. $1 kids under 12; $4 adult; $7 family. Cross Orchards, 3073 Patterson (F Road). 242-0971. 11 Dec-CMU Holiday Concert, 3pm, Robinson Theater, CMU. $10/$8/$5. 248-1604. 11 Dec-City of GJ Kool Kruise, show times 4:30 or 7pm. Choose your lights tour 5:30pm, 6:30pm, 7:30pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. Watch “Santa Clause” at Avalon, visit Santa, then let us drive you to see best Christmas lights in GJ. 254-3866. $5 advance, $7 at door. Children under 12 must be accompanied by adult. Get tickets early to guarantee your bus time. 12 Dec-Moscow Ballet’s “Nutcracker,” 1pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. A Christmas tradition and visual feast that creates lifelong memories for the whole family! 40 beautiful Russian dancers and set to Tchaikovsky’s famous music, this holiday favorite features 200 lavish costumes, larger-than-life puppets and 9 hand-painted backdrops with 3-D effects! 263-5700. 1 3 D e c - C O We s t Q u i l t e r s Bookfair, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 9am-10pm. 243-5113. 13 Dec-CO West Quilters Bed Turning and Drawing for Quilt, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 7pm. 243-5113. 13 Dec-Dinner & a Movie, Meet Me in St. Louis, 7:15pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. Free with downtown dinner receipt; $5 without. 263-5700. 14 Dec-Desert West Chapter EGA Embroidery Demos and Bookfair, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 9am-10pm. 243-5113. 14 Dec-“Christmas Story” at the Avalon, 3pm, $5. Classic movie of Ralphie wanting a BB gun! 645 Main. 263-5700. 14 Dec-Poetry Night, 6-8pm, Central Library, 530 Grand, Grand Junction. Free! Featured poet: Marvin Bell. Study others’ poetry; bring your own to share! 243-4442. 14-15 Dec-Tour of GJ lights; preregistration required: 858-0360. Meet and return to Fruita Community Center. 15 Dec-Royal Ballet’s Sleeping Beauty, 12:30pm (encore Jan 10, 7pm), from Royal Opera House in London, England. See at Carmike Cinema, 590 24.5 Road. 243-7118. 15 Dec-Sunset Slope Quilters Quilts for All Seasons. Demos and Bookfair, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 9am-10pm. 243-5113. 16 Dec-“Mosaics: Where Ballet, Jazz, Hip-hop & Music come Together, Absolute Dance of GJ production featuring performances by student dancers in the pre-professional performances by Absolute Dance companies and singer/songwriter Destinee Reed, 7:30pm, CMU’s Robinson Theater, with encore 2pm Saturday, 17 Dec. $6/child, $8 students/seniors, $10 adults. Tickets $3 more at door. 2558322 or email [email protected]. For more info, visit http:// www.absolutedancegj.com. 16 Dec-Chocolate Walk, 5:309pm, meet at Enstrom Candies, 701 Colorado. Walking tour of historic Main Street featuring Art on the Corner. 254-3866. 16 Dec-Michael Ronstadt, magical musician, 7pm, KAFM Radio Room, 1310 Ute. 241-8801. 16 Dec-Behind Scenes Tour Museum of the West, 462 Ute, 5:30pm. No registration required: $5. 242-0971. 16-17 Dec-CMU Mosaics: “Ballet, Jazz, Hip-Hop and Music Come Together,” Robinson Theater, CMU. Dec 16: 7:30pm; Dec 17: 2pm. Absolute Dance and special guests. 255-8322. 17 Dec-Fruita’s Hometown Christmas, all day, downtown Fruita! 858-8373 or 858-3894. 17 Dec-Talk and Book Signing w/ David Soucie, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 2-4pm. 243-5113. 17 Dec-Texas Tenors, 7:30pm, GJHS Auditorium. GJ Symphony Holiday Pops with finalists of Season 4 America’s Got Talent! $15, $20, $25, $35; $5 students. 2436787. 18 Dec-Miracle on Hope Street, a Christmas play, 7pm, Fruita Christian Church, 208 N. Maple, Fruita. (970) 309-1545. 19 Dec-Senior Mystery Night, dress your part or be guest and solve mystery. Snacks; preregistration required, deadline 12 Dec: 8580360. $10. 20 Dec-Dinner & a Movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, 7:15pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. Free with downtown dinner receipt; $5 without. 263-5700. 21 Dec-Mystery Book Club discusses Shakespeare’s Christmas by Charlaine Harris, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 7pm, 243-5113. 21 Dec-Fruita Christian Church presents Nashville Christian Country Recording Artist Nichole Hope, 7pm, Fruita Christian Church, 208 N. Maple St., Fruita. Info: Karen Gold, (970) 309-1545. 21-22 Dec-“Jacob Marley’s Christmas Carol,” Avalon Theater, 645 Main. Dec 21: 7:30pm; Dec 22: 2pm & 7pm. $20 at door; $15 prepurchase online westerncolorado. com or phone 877-434-8497. 2635700. 23 Dec-Michael Martin Murphy Concert, 7pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. All seats reserved: $22/$25/$35. Cowboy Christmas Live! 263-5700. 27 Dec-George Winston in Concert, 7:30pm, Chateau at Two Rivers Winery, 2087 Broadway. $35 at GJ & Fruita City Markets, Back Porch Music or charge by phone, 243-8497. Please bring canned food item for donation to local food bank. Limited tickets! 243-8497. 27 Dec-Dinner & a Movie, Gone with the Wind, 7:15pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. Free with downtown dinner receipt; $5 without. 263-5700. 28 Dec-American Girl Club, 4:30pm, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 243-5113. 29 Dec-NOOK Club, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 6-8pm, 2435113. 30 Dec-NOOK Club, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 6-8pm, 2435113. 31 Dec-New Year ’s Eve Party, doors 7:30pm, Hazel Miller Band 8:30pm, DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel, 743 Horizon Drive. $39/ Scan With Smart Device Read Us Online For FREE person: 257-8138. “Take elevator home” for $99/room. Receive TWO free event tickets w/each $139 room reservation. Holiday buffet available 5-9pm. 31 Dec & 7 Jan, 2012-High Desert Opera presents “Camelot!” 7pm, Avalon Theater, 645 Main. Reserved seating only: $39, $29, $19 senior & youth; $10 bargain seats. Either night tickets at Roper Music or online at highdesertopera.org. 5239605. 31 Dec-New Year’s Eve Party, 50th Anniversary of the TWIST, 7pm1am, Allen Unique Autos, 2285 River Road. Chubby Checker, Tres Equis & papa Rocket perform! 2637410. January 2012 1 Jan-Free Sunday at Botanical Gardens, Greenhouse and Butterfly House, 641 Struthers Ave., 10am4:30pm. 245-9030, 245-3288. BAR 715 Horizon Dr. • Grand Junction Located in the Old Bub’s Field 970-314-2554 www.cruisersgj.com Open Daily at 3pm—365 Days a Year Open 10:30am on Sundays Live Music Schedule Happy Ho ur 7 DAYS A WEEK 3PM-7PM MIDNIGHT -2AM NIGHTLY SPECIALS 10-12PM 12-24 - Open Christmas Night Open 6p-2a Dec. 16th DJ Dec. 9th & Dirty Santa Costume Party Dec. 23rd New Years Eve Dec. 17th Drink & with Shot Specials All Night Long Champagne Toast At Midnight Monday Happy Hour till 10p Tuesday 2 Fer Tuesdays (well) Wednesday Ladies Night Thursday CMU College Night, Yeah! Friday $3 Calls Saturday Date Night 2 Fer 1 Calls Sunday Football*Football*Football $3 Bloodies $7 Domestic Pitchers all day and night! COLDEST BEER IN TOWN! BAR 11 The SOURCE / December 2011 December Thru 27 Jan-“Outsiders look inside Art,” exhibition. Reception 2 Dec, 7-9pm, Art Center, 1803 N. Seventh. Women artists travel, paint and hang out together. 243-7337. 1-15 Dec-Jake Allee Art Exhibit, CMU Art Gallery, College Center. Gallery: 9am-4pm, Monday-Friday. 248-1833. 2 Dec-27 Jan-Journeys in Clay & Applique Quits, Ceramics Artist-inResidence Terry Shepherd & Quilt Collectors Angela & Henry Hite. Reception 2 Dec, 7-9pm, gallery talk 6:30pm. Art Center, 1803 N. Seventh. 243-7337. 8 Dec-Nisley Elementary Bookfair, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 9am-10pm. 243-5113. 8 Dec-Nisley Elementary Choir Concert, Cowboy Christmas Storytime, and Santa! Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 4-8pm. 2435113. 9 Dec-Mesa View Elementary Bookfair, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 9am-10pm. 243-5113. 9 Dec-Senior Social Night & Cookoff, FREE. Amateur cooks invited to submit baked goods for this! Entry forms available at FCC front desk. Social begins at 5pm for FREE tasting, judging baked goods. Social activities follow, Fruita Community Center, 324 N. Coulson. 858-0360. 9 Dec-Lit & Lattes Book Club discusses Raven Stole the Moon by Garth Stein, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 10am, 243-5113. 9 Dec-Mesa View Elementary ThinkFun Game Night, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 7-8:30pm. 243-5113. 9 Dec-Polar Express Storytime, Barnes & Noble, 2451 Patterson, 7pm. 243-5113. 9 Dec-Spirit of Christmas Walk, Main Street, downtown Grand Junction—totally free and a great time to meet in person and experience the talents of many local performers and entertainers. Sooo many ways to share an old-fashioned Christmas with friends old and new. 241-9484 or 245-9697. 9 Dec-Oakley Gallery grand opening, 5:30-9pm (Spirit of Christmas Walk), Sixth & Main. More than 40 artists ranging from sculpture, ceramics and glass to oils, watercolors, encaustics. Meet artists—shop! D. J. Janowski: 254-1797. 9-10 Dec-Peppermint Patch Arts & Crafts, Show of the Season, Montrose Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall, free admission! Dec 9: 3-7pm; Dec 10: 9am-4pm. Country Cottage Promotions: 970-210-4030. 9-10 Dec-“Amahl & the Night Visitors,” 7:30pm, Moss Performing arts Center Recital Hall, CMU. Call for tickets: 243-6787 or order online at gjsymphony.org. 243-6787, westerncoloradochorale.org. 9-10 Dec-“Fall for Dance,” 7:30pm both evenings (Dec 10 matinee 2pm), CMU Robinson Theater. $12 adults, $8 seniors, $6 students. 248-1604. 9 - 11 D e c - O l d e - F a s h i o n e d Christmas at Palisade. Many events over three days in the biggest Christmas celebration in the Grand Valley! 10 Dec-Dinosaur Journey’s Breakfast with Santa, 9am, Dinosaur Journey, 550 Jurassic Ct, Fruita. Preregistration required: $8/person includes admission to Dinosaur Journey, breakfast, entertainment & giftbag. Call 242-0971. 10 Dec-City of GJ Jingle Bell Run, 8am, Canyon View Park Baseball Shelter. 5K run begins 9am, with Kids’ 1K following at 10am. Preregistration fees $20/$15 respectively; $25 day of run. Participants get long-sleeved T-shirt, race goodies— come with bells on and your best Entertainment Calendar The SOURCE The The SOURCE Tunes Band Profile...Trez Equis Name: Trez Equis Age: 2 years Occupation: Riding shotgun Hobbies: Your sister Family: none ya. Favorite Restaurant: Mexican Goals: To rock! When did your band Trez Equis form? The band formed in February of 2009. How complicated was it to establish which songs you would be performing? Tom: It was not that difficult. We decided early on to play all the hits and include our personal favorites. It’s a bit difficult to go wrong with ZZ Top supplying the material. How much rehearsal was required before you played your first gig? Ric: We rehearsed for nearly Who is in the band? “Musty Swill“ AKA Tom a year before we played our Spehar, “Frank Lee Weird“ AKA first gig, which was opening Jimmy Williamson and “Frilly for Johnny Winter at the Mesa Ribbons, The Reverend Frilly Theater and Club. We were determined to do the best tribute G-String“ AKA Ric Scott we could pull off. We worked to Who came up with the idea to learn the tunes and the tones. Then came the look and steps. form a ZZ Top tribute band? Ric: The idea was Tom’s. He It was a process. Tom: We quickly realized just and Jim were talking about a how fantastic these musicians 4-piece ZZ Top tribute that had were, and exactly what they a separate lead singer and how were doing and how they were so wrong that was. doing it. It was quite the learning Tom: I said I had played in the experience. past with a guitar player who did some ZZ Top songs. Thus, Where have you performed the idea was sprung. Since Ric since the band started? and I had covered some ZZ Top Jim: We’ve performed in tunes in the past, it seemed a California, Arizona, Oklahoma natural. Jim came up with the and Colorado. We had the name, Trez Equis, which is Triple pleasure of playing The Orange X in Spanish. TWIST The SOURCE / December 2011 12 Fest in California, and the Midnight Oasis Car Show in Yuma AZ, and at Ute Mountain here in Colorado. These are stellar venues. How have crowds responded so far? Tom: The crowds have been awesome! Thousands were present for all of those shows. Everyone, it seems, likes ZZ Top’s music. Everyone was rocking! The meet-and-greets before and after the shows were lasting an hour or more. Everyone wanted a photo with the band. I checked out your Web site, trezequis.com; it’s excellent. When I watched the video, I had no idea it was a tribute band. Where did you shoot the video? Jim: It was shot and recorded at Live Rock Studios in Torrance CA by Mark Ludmer and his crew. All the music and video were recorded as it happened without overdubs. Mark has some sweet production out there. It took all of 53 minutes to shoot and record. What did it take to nail the look of ZZ TOP? Tom: ZZ Top is very stylish. They always look good. The beards were the easy part. The wardrobe, instruments and OFF XXX (TrezEquis) www.trezequis.com choreography were the toughest Booking Info: George Gosling, Tabletop Productions parts get. Ph. to (775)-267-6770 Website: Tabletop-pro.com Jim: The visuals are always evolving because the band has had so many looks over the last 40 years. We want to add as many looks from different eras of the band as we can. Ric: I was really puzzled how I was going to find a nudu, the hat that Billy Gibbons wears. I got lucky on that one. The only place you can find one is in Cameroon. I found one at a thrift store! Trez Equis is performing at Allen’s Unique Autos on New Year ’s Eve, along with the Fabulous Chubby Checker. 2011 Celebrate the 50th anniversary of the TWIST! Chubby Checker will be performing live December 31, New Year’s Eve, 7pm-1am, at Allen Unique Autos, 2285 River Road. Tres Equis & Papa Rocket will also perform! For information on tickets and reservations, call 263-7410. It will be a rousing good time, so get your Twist muscles moving again! Chubby Checker was born Ernest Evans in Spring Gulley, South Carolina, but grew up in South Philadelphia with his parents and two brothers. When he was a boy, his mother took him to see Sugar Child Robinson, a child piano prodigy and famous country singer Ernest Tubb. Young Evans vowed to someday enter show business and took his first step toward that goal by forming a streetcorner harmony group when he was only 11. By the time he entered high school, Ernest played piano at Settlement Music School and did some vocal impressions. He also went to South Philadelphia High School with his friend Fabian Forte, who would have show business success of his own. After school, Chubby would sing and crack jokes at his various jobs, including Fresh Farm Poultry and the Produce Market. It was Ernest’s boss at the Produce Market, who gave Ernest the nickname “Chubby.” The owner of Fresh Farm Poultry began showing off his employee to customers through a loud speaker. He and a friend arranged for Chubby to do a private recording for Dick Clark, a Yuletide novelty tune called “Jingle Bells,” on which Chubby did several impressions of top recording stars. Dick Clark sent it out as a Christmas greeting to friends and associates in the music business. Cameo-Parkway liked it so much that they wrote a song called “The Class,” and it became Chubby’s first hit in early 1959. In June of 1959, Chubby recorded “The Twist.” Bernie Lowe, president of Cameo Parkway records was not initially impressed with Chubby’s recording and felt it may be a “B” side, at best. However, Chubby felt “The Twist” was something special and undertook non-stop rounds of TV dates, interviews and live performances promoting the record. Fourteen months later, in the summer of 1960, “The Twist” was a hit. “The Twist” was not only the #1 song, but it introduced the concept of “dancing apart to the beat.” Over the next few years, endless songs incorporating “The Twist” into its name sprang up, such as “Peppermint Twist,” “Twist and Shout” and “Twistin’ the Night Away.” Each new song brought a new dance involving “dancing apart to the beat,” such as “The Jerk,” “The Hully Gully,” “The Boogaloo” and “The Shake.” At the forefront was Chubby with “The Fly,” “The Pony” and “The Hucklebuck.” The next few years were prolific for Chubby as hit followed hit. In between recording and touring, Chubby added feature films to his portfolio with the releases of “Don’t Knock the Twist” and “Twist Around the Clock.” In the fall of 1961, record industry history was made when Checker ’s original hit record “The Twist” re-entered the charts, and by January 1962, it was back in #1 position. No other record before or since has accomplished that feat. Combining its 1960 run with its 1961/62 return, “The Twist” spent an amazing nine months total on U. S. bestseller charts. Chubby Checker merchandise was everywhere. His success continued for years. “Let’s Twist Again” won him a Grammy for Best Rock Performance. While hits kept coming, the highlight of 1964 was Chubby’s marriage to Catharina Lodders, Miss World 1962. By 1988, Chubby demonstrated extreme musical diversity by recording a very different “Yo Twist” with the Fat Boys. This song went to #14 on the charts. In 2000, Chubby branched out into the snack food business commemorating 40 years of “The Twist” with Chocolate Checker Bars, Beef Jerky, Hot Dogs, and Popcorn, all to be washed down with Girl of the World Water (dedicated to his wife). High Desert Opera to present Camelot! High Desert Opera will present the Lerner & Loewe musical masterpiece Camelot at the Avalon Theater at their 9th annual New Year’s Eve gala. Based on T.H. White’s immortal tale of King Arthur and all the knights of the Round Table, this Tony Award winning musical is a perfect way to bring in the New Year. Return with us to Camelot, the mythical, magical kingdom, and relive the legend in this fully staged adventure through medieval England—a tragic love story, a tale of chivalric heroism, the eternal struggle of good against evil. This is an all-star Grand Valley cast: Richard Cowden as King Arthur, Rebecca Weitzel as Lady Guenevere, Christopher McKim as Lancelot, Lee Borden as King Pellinore, James Werner as Merlin the Magician, Trevor Adams as Mordred, and Carlene Goldthwaite as Morgan Le Fay. Performances are 7:30pm New Year’s Eve, December 31, and Saturday, January 7, at the Avalon Theater. Ticket prices range from $39 to $10 and are available online at highdesertopera.org, or at Roper Music, or by phoning 970-523-9605 between the hours 10am-3pm Monday through Friday. The SOURCE Chubby Checker TWISTS at Allen Antique Auto Museum New Year’s Eve! The Limbo Rock Remix and The Original Master of The Dance Hall Beat, released in 2004, became top 5 Disney Radio hits and a favorite of DJs with its ability to bring audiences onto the dance floor. A new generation of Chubby Checker fans were born. In 2007, Chubby returned to the charts yet again with “Knock Down The Walls”, Billboards #1 dance track. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio rewarded Chubby in July 2008 with a special award. Chubby thrilled a fervent crowd by performing his hits, new and old, to the delight of everyone. In 2009, Chubby toured abroad. In the 50th anniversary year of The Twist, special ceremonies took place in front of City Hall in Philadelphia and Wildwood, N.J. and there was a Chubby Checker cruise in May 2011. What keeps this artist going? “It’s the fans,” Chubby said. The energy I get from singing and dancing with all these people over the years is unlike anything else I experience. I never want it to end.” Neither do we. Chubby Checker—Check the Facts: He is: • the only artist to have 5 albums in the Top 12 at once. • the only artist to have a song be #1 twice - “The Twist.” • the only artist to have 9 doublesided record hits. • the man who changed the way we dance to the beat. Saturday, December 31st Doors at 7:00 pm Grab your bobby socks and poodle skirt and get ready for an unforgettable New Year’s Eve bash with a live performance by the legendary creator of the twist – Chubby Checker. This exclusive celebration has limited space, so purchase your tickets online now for: * Music by opening acts Papa Rocket and Trez Equis * Twist contest judged by Chubby Checker * Prizes * Meet and greet with Chubby Checker * Champagne toast at midnight * Hors d’oeuvres by Cowboy & the Rose * Cash bars * Photo booth * Allen Unique Autos museum tours Tickets ordered online are available for pickup at 2285 River Road Grand Junction even on the night of the event. Please bring your receipt. Questions? Call 970.208.8171 www.allenuniqueautos.com Source Savings Coupon Young Dubliners • December 29 • Mesa Theater • Grand Junction Dec 29th • Mesa Theater with The Janks, Grand Junction, CO http://www.mesatheater.com/ Dec 30th PAC 3 with The Janks, Carbondale, CO http://pac3carbondale.com/ Dec 31st The Little Bear Saloon with The Janks, Evergreen, CO New Year’s Eve at the Little Bear! http://www.littlebearsaloon.com/ 13 Rem’s Place 241 Grand Avenue • Grand Junction Pipes Tobaccos Hookahs Cigars 242-3136 Tobacco The SOURCE / December 2011 WORK ON NEW ALBUM BEGINS. SHORT TOUR IN DECEMBER Although the Young Dubliners are deep into writing and recording their ninth studio album they have allowed themselves a brief break in the process to play a few gigs in December. November has been set aside to concentrate on the new recording, which is not easy for a band that spends most of its life on the road. “We just find it very hard to write when we are constantly moving so every few years we have to lock ourselves away and focus exclusively on writing new material” says Keith Roberts, frontman for the group. “What made it fun and refreshing is when we realized how many song ideas we had, now we are all excited to get these songs done and out there.” The song writing process has become more and more collaborative for the band with each album. “Knowing each others strengths from playing and writing together for so long has played a big part in allowing each song to develop more quickly.” Its one of the unusual cases where too many chefs actually improves the broth!” The few December dates allow the band to air out some of the new material but also to remind them what is most important to them, playing to an audience. “At the end of the day its all about performing for us. When you play over 150 shows a year its hard to suddenly stop for too long of a time. Hitting some of our favorite haunts will keep the blood flowing and give us some useful feedback on the new material.” The SOURCE Community Spirit of Christmas Walk, downtown Grand Junction, December 9, 5:30-9pm This year’s 16th Annual Spirit of Christmas Walk will be the largest and most varied collection of entertainers for a single event on the Western Slope! Organizers are expecting 300+ entertainers roving and performing on Downtown’s beautiful “new look” Main Street and inside Downtown’s unique retail shops. Performing will be a very wide range of musicians, barbershop quartets, choirs, clowns, poets, and theater and dance groups. And of course, Santa Claus will be there again, along with horsedrawn carriage rides. This old-fashioned warm and fuzzy event is totally free and is an opportunity to enjoy many different performers all in one evening. The event runs 5:30-9pm on Friday, December 9. The down- town shops will be open serving hot drinks and treats and to act as venues for your holiday performers. For more information, call Mark Smith at Main Street Bagels, 2419484, or Kathy Dirks with the DDA at 245-9697. Business Women’s Network Holiday Luncheon, Glenwood Springs, December 16, 11:30am1pm at Grand Restaurant, 720 Grand Avenue, inside The King Mall. The Business Women’s Network Holiday Luncheon features a presentation by photographer and motivational speaker, Dick IRISH THUNDER music and dance show with FEAST and Champion Irish Dance Duo Presented by Western Slope Concert Series and directors Tyme and Kathryn Mientka, this exciting Celtic music and dance show appears in three concerts: on Thursday, Jan. 12 at 7:30pm at the Montrose Pavilion; Friday, Jan. 13 at 7:30pm at the Avalon Theater in Grand Junction; and Saturday, Jan. 14 at 7:30pm at Glenwood Springs High School. Tickets are available online at JunctionConcerts.com, and Roper Music in Grand Junction, Paonia Farm & Home, and the Montrose Pavilion. All seats are reserved, and start at $26 in advance and $29 at the door for the Montrose and Grand Junction shows; and $19 in advance and $22 at the door for the Glenwood Springs show. The Celtic band FEAST returns with an explosive all-new show with champion Celtic dancers—and lots of surprises! Virtuoso temperaments and symphonic textures characterize the awesome sound of FEAST. A virtual wall of gorgeous string sound, sensuous harp sonorities, gutsy percussion, dazzling costumes and dances will make IRISH THUNDER an incredible evening-to-remember for the whole family! Get your tickets early for this show—it sells out every year! Call (970) 241-0741 for more information, or buy tickets online at JunctionConcerts.com. Durrance. Enjoy a delicious buffet lunch, networking and the Dick Durrance presentation. Space is limited, and reservations are required online at glenwoodchamber.com/bwn or by calling 945-6589. The cost is $25 per person. Chamber members and their guests are invited to attend. Contact Joni for information regarding membership at 945-6589x104. For more information, call Angie Anderson, (970) 945-6589. Miracle on Main Street Parade in Olathe, December 16, 5:30pm! The 35th Annual Olathe Miracle e for m i t n i t s u J ys! the HoUnliqidueast on Main Street Parade and Visit with Santa will be held on Friday, December 16, at 5:30pm. Parade lineup is at 5pm on Hwy. 50 Business Loop in front of Olathe High School. No pre-registration is required. The parade route will head west on Main Street, south on Church St. and east on Hwy. 348, ending in front of the Olathe American Legion Post #24, where kids of all ages can talk to Santa. In conjunction with the Miracle on Main Street, the Olathe Rebekah’s will offer a Chili Dinner at the Legion Hall. For more information, please contact the Olathe Activities Department at 323-6006. You can ift ideas ’ prices at beat these Lots of gone in the nywher ry e! for eve amily! f ocking stuffers you won’t find anywhere else! Everything is here! THE NEvEr ENDINg INDOOr YArD SALE Jewelry, gold, silver, tools, original artwork/ photography, toys, games stuffed animals, yard & garden, sporting goods, skis & poles, furniture desks, tables, chairs, shelves, files, office supplies, books, kitchenware household, linens, towels, dishes Auto & motorcycle Source Savings Coupon Pet toys, dishes, clothes Men’s, women’s & kid’s clothes, shoes, coats, boots, suits, hats Infant & toddler clothes, too Fancy and everyday clothes Prom dresses, genuine fur coats - and simulated fur, too Down coats & jackets | Winter hats & gloves Thursday - Sunday 11am - 7pm 2863 North Ave. Unit #2 and #3 The SOURCE / December 2011 14 Mesa Funeral Service 970-243-9999 Customized Headstones $1,395 Direct Cremation $3,995 Traditional Funeral Where Comforting Doesn’t have to Cost The Denver Sports Scene By Kevin LaDuke It is December, and the temperature is dropping. Snow may start to fall sometime soon, and most of us are getting ready for Santa to appear. This can only mean one thing. No, we all know Christmas and New Year’s are there, but it means that most of the major sports will be and are going on right now. There are, of course, a few missing, such as the Colorado Rockies and the Colorado Rapids. The three major sports teams in Colorado are rolling along or, since the NBA lockout is over, about to begin. If you are still wondering, then you are probably not a sports buff, or you don’t follow the Colorado Avalanche, the Denver Nuggets, and the Denver Broncos. Let’s start with the Colorado Avalanche. They struggled mightily last year on the rebuilding side of the spectrum. That makes for a long season and not a lot of wins. Through the draft and with a key pick up in goal, the Avs are back on track to make it exciting to watch them again. And it looks like they’ve done well in the draft with some key young players. Matt Duchene, Ryan O’Reilly, Paul Statsny, and Gabriel Landeskog are the young group that could propel the Avalanche back to being contenders someday. They started out very strong as a team, but then they went into a little bit of a slump through November. At the start of December, they seemed to get back on track with some good offense and better goalkeeping. A very nice win versus the dreaded Detroit Red Wings, or as my friends know them, the “Dead Things,” can only make us hope they keep up this wave of scoring and strong net play. After the middle of November, or when talks broke down and both sides walked away from each other, it sure didn’t seem to many that there would be an NBA season. I’m not even going to go into who was at fault since it seemed both were out for the pot of gold. The problem is that they both may have actually knocked some of it out and can’t get it back, since some fans are saying they will not go back to watching NBA. Let’s focus on the Nuggets, though. The Nuggets are going to have to rebuild some since they have several free agents either restricted or non-restricted. Their biggest task will be to try and re-sign Nene. He used to have a last name, but I guess he ran into Madonna and dropped it somewhere. He’s asking for a large contract, which the Nuggets had on the table last year and he chose not to take because he was unhappy they didn’t put it there until the end. Now, he may not make that much. If he does not sign, they will be using a bunch of young kids to try and fill in the big-man positions. The youngsters’ names are just too difficult to type out, so you can look them up. They also will have to do without JR Smith and Kenyon Martin, since they are stuck in China under contract and can’t get out. They may not bring them back, anyway. They did pick up Andre Miller again on draft day, so there will be some help in the guard position. Signing some other free agents will be important to make them capable of keeping up in the Western Conference. If they don’t sign many players, we’ll know that they’re waiting to be in on the big class of free agents next year that includes Dwight Howard. The FREE The SOURCE Sports And…how about them Broncos?! Who would have thought that, after sticking Tim Tebow in at quarterback, it would have given them such a change in team play? Well, I thought that—and you should have known that if you read my last article. The question was if Tebow could actually throw the ball and make good decisions. He ran the option well in the Jets, Kansas City, and San Diego games. Then, against the Vikings, he brought out the arm in the second half and passed well. I did say team play, because it’s not just Tebow who is winning the games. You have the running game doing well, especially with Willis McGahee. The defense is doing pretty well, and Von Miller is simply the best draft pick the Broncos have had in the last who-knows-howmany years. He and Elvis Dumervil are a twin set of terrors on the defensive rush. Can the Broncos win the division? It sure looks like it, since they are coming up against some teams that are really running on empty because of injury. The New England Patriots are the only ones who look like they may challenge the Broncos in the last few games. We will just have to wait and see—and it should be fun! It is time to pull out the recliner, set up the snacks, turn on the tube, and get some cold drinks, because it looks like it’s going to be a great December to watch sports. Please don’t tell the wife—it will ruin my evenings. Thanks. Alternative Guide to Entertainment, Arts & News 970-256-9288 www.yvsource.com January Ad Special 1/4 page Full Color $175 Save $257 Affordable Monthly Advertising Broncos Game Schedule Locally Owned Since 1992 Dec 11 CHI @ DEN Dec 18 NE @ DEN Dec 24 DEN @ BUF Jan 01 KC @ DEN Call 970-256-9288 Ext. 1 Rimrock Chiropractic, LLC: A Creating Wellness Center 0 9 o t 9 s e g a r o f e g Massa Hours Mon: 8:30 am - 6:00 pm Tues: 1:00 pm - 6:00 pm Wed - Thurs: 8:30 am - 6:00 pm Friday & Saturday by appointment Infants: • Helps relieve gas and other gastroi-intestinal distorders 15 Kids: • Helps build body and spatial awareness for rapidly changing bodies 1 hour massage $37 With Nationally Certified Massage Therapist, Treat Yourself & SAVE BIG TIME Includes a consultation. New massage patients only. Not available for gift certificates. Call for details & to schedule. One per customer. Expires 12 -31-11 Mothers-to-be: • Relieves some of the discomforts of pregnancy • Promotes circulation for baby’s health • Helps maintain muscle tone for delivery and recovery Seniors: • Keeps muscle fibers healthy and elastic so they are better able to avoid injury • Joint cartilage breaks down over time but massage can help improve circulation to keep joints well lubricated www.rimrockchiropractic.com 1133 Patterson Road Suite 3 • 970-243-1388 The SOURCE / December 2011 1 Hour Massage is regularly $60 Young Adults: • Speeds recovery and provide relief for sports & other performance injuries • Builds foundation of stress management and relaxation techniques The SOURCE ...Neither Rain nor Sleet nor Dark of Brew By Lyle Stout It’s always interesting to see a product or service that has been around for generations finally blink out and disappear for all time. At times, it catches us by surprise, like the time my Chevron gas card became useless when Chevron sold all the gas stations it owned in Colorado. Other times, we watch for years as the slow decay of a product or service makes it obvious the inevitable day will arrive. Most times, you can see it coming and watch as it dies, but unless it’s like Radio Shack and can reinvent itself moments before driving off the cliff, the business usually keeps on doing the very things that made it obsolete. In business, the trend of the last few years is to use fax machines and the Internet to send purchase orders, invoices, and statements. In my opinion, this came about because of the US Post Office constantly increasing stamp prices. As stamp prices increased, more businesses moved away from regular mail, and, as the volume dropped and the postal service lost more money, its solution was to raise postage costs even more. This became a repeating cycle and has brought the price of a stamp to 44 cents, soon to increase to 46 cents, then to 48 cents, then to $1.50. Many national companies now use a combination of fax machines and the Internet for billing transactions and do not use the mail at all. I’ll never forget a time when a mailman who used to deliver Bollan’s Beefs The other day I was listening to one of those totally insane right-wing radio whack-jobs going on about the notorious Obama “birther” issue. As I listened, it struck me that people hear what they want and believe what they want, no matter how far from truth it is. With that in mind, I set out to see if I could smear the “good names” of current Republican front-runners without once telling the truth or even attempting to do so. that, without the post office, the townspeople would have no place to congregate, and the town would lose its identity. If you evaluate the situation, it probably takes at least three people at a minimum to run each tiny post office. According to Newsweek, the average postal worker makes $83,000 in wages and benefits; so a tiny post office, to give a town a “place to congregate,” would cost almost a quarter of a million dollars in wages and benefits alone. Add the cost of a building and utilities, and the US Postal Service is probably spending over $400,000 per year to give the citizens of Podunk a sense of identity. What if we take a quarter of the money spent for a post office in every tiny nonexistent burg like Powderhorn CO on the road from Gunnison to Lake City, and use it to buy a building and put in a Starbucks. The government could pay the waitresses the going $3.40 per hour plus tips, or whatever waitresses make now—and, tell me, that in a tiny town you couldn’t hire a manager for less than a third of the $83,000 an average USPS worker makes. You could put in a stamp machine like the one most post offices have, and a big blue box to drop off mail, and just have a mail truck stop once or twice a week to see if any mail were going out. Then, when the grannies from Podunk or Powderhorn or Redcliff need a place to congregate, they can spend their money to buy a cup of latte, and the taxpayers can save a quarter of a million dollars each year in every tiny dust mote in America. There would have to be restrictions, however. The Postal Union could not unionize Starbucks waitresses or the manager. If they did, only veterans would be able to be waitresses, and the wage would go to $39.66 per hour. The wait for a cup of coffee would triple, and the price of coffee would have to rise to $11 per cup to support the wages and benefits. If people refused to pay the $11 and the coffee sales decreased, they would have no choice but to raise it to $12.50 to bring their profit back up. By Jack Bollan [email protected] executives with huge bonuses. We don’t know—and no one but his victims know for sure—if claims that he sexually harassed scores of female employees are true. He would never admit it. “Poo!” to all those Americans who believe that the key words in “Newt Gingrich” are “Newt” and “Grinch.” In the first case, Newt is not a newt. Those who think of him as some sort of lizard/fish-type of thing are just not being fair. His mother did love him, despite evidence to the contrary. His father was not gender-confused as some of Gingrich’s gay relatives have almost certainly claimed. And “Newt” was not the result of his parents “running out of good names after 13 children,” as some have probably argued. It is more realistic to believe that “Newt” rhymes with “cute.” It’s as simple as that. Now, Newt’s affiliation with “Grinch” is far less tenuous. It is in the role of Grinch that Newt earned his notoriety in 1992. Cheap, selfish, and hating Cindy Lou Who-these are “the Grinch’s” claim to fame. And there is absolutely no evidence that his heart has grown three sizes larger in the intervening two decades. The “Grinch” is still cheap, selfish, and hates Cindy Lou Who. And there is Ron Paul. Evidence is threadbare that Paul is a neoNazi. There are people who say that he has enough racist and intolerant remarks and writings to make him forever unelectable. Even so, he was not a co-conspirator with Tim McVeigh in the Oklahoma City bombing, despite his affiliation with the extreme right-wing John Birch Society that so influenced McVeigh. His libertarianism is not just a cover for a pathologically self-centered person with bizarre, off-putting psychology. Many almost normal people (Paul?) consider whack-job author Ayn Rand their spiritual guide. Now, people could say that Paul’s anti-government rap completely conflicts with his lifetime spent as a politician. And then there is Paul’s argument about the Gold Standard. Any 20th Century person with knowledge of history can only say one thing to this whole Gold Standard matter, “Ha. Okay! It was dumb then, dumber now. Wrong century, Ron!” Finally, Rick Perry. Some call him, “Hairy Perry,” but most who have done so lack the essential quality of character called “existence.” You have to admit that his young, poofy hair contrasts sharply and unflatteringly with his old, chiseled face. Can such a confused man make the hard decisions that have to be made as president? I wonder. And what was his deal with “The Response,” which many say was just a way to use God to call conservative evangelical attention to Perry’s power obsession. Is that right? I think America knows the answer and will not vote for such a twisted fellow. So, once again, the GOP has delivered a herd of morons. The last Republican we elected, George Bush, was the worst president in history. He left us with a broken economy and two dumb wars. But the Republican Party keeps on keepin’ on, distributing goofy gas to the voters, and doing damage to America. Makes sense to me. Politics as Usual: A Farce So let’s take a look at the losers (and they are losers) as seen from the farcical pen of Bollan. We’ll knock ‘em down one by one. Michele Bauchman, whose oratory is legendary, is not from a family of registered sex offenders. Her cousins were not recently arrested for petty drug offenses, and her mother had nothing to do with the Bauchman gang and the associated series of murders and robberies. Claims that Bauchman was arrested walking naked down Rue de Lis in Paris under the influence of psychedelic drugs aren’t true. And she Palisade Little Dawgs Wrestling Help support Youth Wrestling Become a sponsor! New wrestlers always welcome! For Sponsorship Information Contact Joleen — 970-433-0506 Find us on Facebook Palisadelittledawgswrestling 16 to my business was complaining about the boxes they were putting in newer n e i g h b o rh o o d s with multiple mail receptacles to replace the standard single mailbox in front of each house. I had just moved into a neighborhood that had the multiple boxes and could see no real difference. He explained that the union had filed a lawsuit to try to keep the post office from using the new boxes because they were too efficient and, therefore, cost jobs for letter carriers. The postal service is caught, because any talk of saving money is immediately vetoed by their union, and any attempt to curtail the unprofitable parts of their business is always followed by local papers printing stories about Podunk CO and how the post office in the town employs the only three people in town who have full-time jobs. The story is always concluded with some old woman explaining GRAND JUNCTION wasn’t thirty-three years old and the mother of two illegitimate children at the time. The reported problems between Mitt Romney and Herman Cain are nothing but political gamesmanship. While it is true that Romney’s Mormon faith claims that God cursed Cain and all his progeny with black skin because Cain killed his brother many years ago, it is not true that Cain or Romney have made much of it. In fact, some would say that neither of them is really that concerned about the affair, given that Mormon leadership granted Cain special dispensation so that he and his male children could hold the Mormon priesthood. True, the curse slowed Cain’s ability to succeed in business, but he overcame the curse and succeeded in pizza. Cain’s business success is his claim to fame. It’s not true, however, that Cain founded Black Jack Pizza while serving the Godfather. Nor did Cain betray the Godfather for Black Jack. Americans who have made that claim do not have a clear picture of Cain. Cain long served as energy czar for a public utility company, in which capacity he pressured workers to invest in a bogus retirement scheme and rewarded incompetent Test Drive the All New 2012 Jeep Wrangler The SOURCE / December 2011 CHRYSLER • JEEP • DODGE 2578 HWY 6 & 50 Grand Junction (on the corner of motor & funny little street) 245-3100 • 1-800-645-5886 Muscle and Milage: The NEW Dynamic Duo www.grandjunctionchrysler.com • Sales: Mon-Fri 8:30-6:00, Sat 8:30-5:00 • Parts and Service: Mon - Fri 7:30-5:30, Sat 9:00-1:00 / Closed on Sundays “Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery..” -- Winston Churchill These are possibly the 5 best sentences you’ll ever read: Unfortunately, most voters don’t know this. 1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealth out of prosperity. 2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving. 3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. 4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it 5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to want our money, accept our rules. Before you say that this would be “demeaning” and ruin “self esteem,” consider that it wasn’t that long ago that taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem. If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes, we should at least attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system rewards people for continuing to make bad choices. Oh, and while you are on government subsistence, you no longer can VOTE! Yes, that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving a government welfare check. If you want to vote, get a job. Follow us on Facebook @ Source Marketing Read Us Online For FREE www.yvsource.com take care of them; and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation. Ineptocracy (in-ept-o-cra-cy)-a system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or to succeed are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers. These solutions are just common sense in the opinion of this 21-year-old woman:. This was in the Waco Tribune Herald, Waco , TX Nov 18, 2010... Dear Sean, Today I was incensed at the conclusion of a traditional Serbian-Orthodox funeral for my beloved 85-year-old uncle, Daniel Martich, who proudly served in the US Army during the Korean conflict. During the committal service at a Pittsburgh cemetery the local military detachment performed their ritual, then folded and presented the American Flag to my aunt. As I’m sure you have witnessed during military funerals, a soldier bends to one knee and recites a scripted message to a surviving relative that begins ‘On behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation, I wish to present you with this flag in appreciation for your husband’s service ...’ However, today the dialogue was ‘On behalf of the Secretary of Defense and a grateful nation...’ After the service, I approached the soldier who presented the flag to my aunt to inquire about the change in language. His response was: “The White House notified all military funeral service detachments to immediately remove ‘the President’ and insert ‘the Secretary of Defense’. I couldn’t believe what I heard and the soldier just smiled and said, “You can draw your own conclusion, Sir, but that was the order”. He, too, was ashamed of what he was required to say. Obama has taken off the gloves. My only response to this endless cesspool of anti- American rhetoric dripping from his mouth is to borrow a phrase “ with one minor change” uttered by another temporary Washington resident living in government housing (his wife!): “Today for the first time in my adult life, I am ashamed of the current U.S. President!” I did not serve in the military but my love of country parallels that of people like my late uncle who bled red, white and blue. As a second generation Serbian- The Yellow Light The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up. He took her to the police station, where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. The woman was escorted back to the booking desk, where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects. He said, ‘’I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so, naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car.’’ COMPLETELY FINISHED No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words ‘complete’ and ‘finished’ in a way that’s so easy to understand: Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfoundlander!!!!!! When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED !!! End of story The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese. However, less widely known is: a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise: a Parliament of owls. Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not ……. a Congress! A CONGRESS OF BABOONS! I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington ! You just cant make this stuff up. Go green Recycle Congress in 2012 !!! Grand Junction Counseling Your Pathway to Peace Do you have the holiday blues? Stressed Overloaded Lost Ang ry Sad Marriage Counseling • Premarital Counseling Family Counseling • Teen Counseling Mens Issues • Young Adults • Sex Addiction • Substance Abuse Anger Management • Depression • Grief & Loss • Anxiety Life Coaching • Spiritual Direction • Mind-Body Work 17 Let us help you put the pieces of the puzzle back together. (970) 640-2428 115 N. 5th Street, Suite 401 The SOURCE / December 2011 Put me in charge . . . Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want steak and frozen pizza, then get a job. Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings, then get a job. Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks? You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections any time, and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place. In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or you will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We will sell your 22-inch rims and low-profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money toward the “common good.” Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of the above is voluntary. If you This is a letter that my good friend’s husband wrote today after his uncle’s funeral yesterday. If Obama does not want his name associated with our military, he does not deserve to be “The President of the United States “. - Alice Frankovitch Hooray for Florida! From Theda Becker Great going, Florida. You set the stage for the other 49 states to copy! Kudos to Republican Governor Rick Scott for having the correctness and guts to move forward on this critical issue! I-95 North will be jammed for the next month or so with druggies and deadbeats heading north out of Florida. Florida is the first state to require drug testing for people before they can receive welfare! In signing the new law, Republican Gov. Rick Scott said, “If Floridians want welfare, they better make sure they are drug-free.” Applicants who test positive for illicit substances won’t be eligible for funds for a year—or until they undergo treatment. Those who fail the test a second time will be banned from receiving funds for three years! Naturally, a few people are crying that this is unconstitutional. How is this unconstitutional? It’s completely legal that every other worker must pass drug tests in order to get a J-O-B, which supports those on welfare! Let’s give Welfare back to the ones who really NEED it, not those who WON’T get a JOB…. Spam The SOURCE Politics American who’s heritage produced many patriotic military men and women who fought for freedom both in the United States as well as in the former Yugoslavia (most recently in Kosovo against the slaughter of Serbs by Muslim extremists), I implore you to make the American people aware of this little-known or, at least, publicly acknowledged fact. May God Bless you and your family during these difficult times. Your voice of reason is a welcome change from the insanity plastered across the country by the liberal media. Keep up the great work and thank you for your service to our country. Sincerely, John G. Martich Weirton , WV The SOURCE Signs of the Times School Bus in Japan ...and which country do you www.sendtheshaft.com get when you have a technical problem with your computer? WOW! ACTUALLY MADE IN THE USA! On sale now! What size do you wear? The perfect Christmas gift or stocking Stuffer!” Call Now 970-257-1982 School Bus in India MENTATION MULTIMEDIA I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! PO Box 4875 Grand Jct, CO 81502 You’ve Always Wanted To Do It NOW YOU CAN! FUNNY! Give Someone… That’s gonna leave a mark! To Purchase in Grand Junction Call 970-234-4657 Purchase Online at www.givetheshaft.com www.sendtheshaft.com Give The Shaft to: WOW! ACTUALLY MADE IN THE USA! MENTATION MULTIMEDIA Friends X-Boss X-Husband X-Wife Politicians Mechanics Bill Collectors X-Girlfriend X-Boyfriend I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! PO Box 4875 Grand Jct, CO 81502 GROCERY & COMMODITIES LIQUIDATORS Open Weekly Thur, FRI, SAT 9AM - 7PM Sun - 12-4PM Warehouse Discounted Pricing on Dry Goods, Canned Goods, House Hold Paper Products & Beverages No Entrance or Membership Fee Unlimited Purchases Accepting 2892 North Ave Grand Junction Great for Bachelor Bachelorette Parties Birthdays Holidays Next to Big O Tires FUNNY! X North Ave 29 Road We Take Qwest (EBT) Cards Next to International Imports That’s gonna leave a mark! The SOURCE / December 2011 18 OPEN TO THE PUBLIC This gag gift will provide you with hours of laughter! THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW The word “queue” is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off! Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon. You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath Of all the words in the English language, the word ‘set’ has the most definitions! What is called a “French kiss” in the English speaking world is known as an “English kiss” in France. “Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order. “Rhythm” is the longest English word without a vowel. In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child. I want that Lose up to a pound a day for 20-40 days with Physician Supervised HCG Weight Loss www.integrativeweightsolutions.com Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. There is a city called Rome on every continent. It’s against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland! Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day! Horatio Nelson, one of England’s most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness. The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than lefthanded people. Continued on Page 20 INTEGRATIVE Weight Solutions HCG Weight Loss Physician Supervised 245-0373 The SOURCE Alternative Health & Wellness Source The very first license was issued business interest, but the rights of Medical Marijuana: to Tom Sterlacci, the proud owner their patients. of Dr. J’s, one of many patientStill, in many other other counties across Colorado, far too many friendly dispensaries in Denver. ELK MOUNTAIN Where Does Colorado Stand? Since receiving his operating patients have little or no access to for and what is now the law. To in the nation. Although tedious license, Sterlacci said, “This is very dispensaries. It’s these patients them, its more of an inconvenience and sometimes cumbersome to historic. Now we’re not standing alone who are left without safe access toward processing new drug cas- understand, it’s those very rules with the feds—we have the city and to medicine that was legally prees or perpetuating the costly and that have kept Colorado’s’ MMJ scribed by a doctor. It’s unfair and the state standing with us.” misguided program known as the businesses from the intrusion of So let us celebrate this prog- not in accordance to Colorado’s “war on drugs.” The reason we federal raids. To the delight of disress, but let us also keep working medical marijuana laws. Why does should care about what happens in pensary owners, cultivators and to legalize marijuana once and the federal government continue the sunshine state is because what especially advocates, Colorado has to ignore the fact that marijuana forever. happens there, could also effect begun issuing the first state medihas medicinal There are already ballot meaConveniently located, yet hidden fromelements? the public eye. Colorado’s medical marijuana dis- cal-marijuana business licenses in One reason may be because the sures being compiled that voters penseries and related businesses. the nation. It is the culmination of will see in the upcoming 2012 elec- feds still treat marijuana as a narSo Colorado should at least lend a more than a year-long application tion across the state. Fort Collins cotic and not as medicine. So, until listening ear to the latest informa- process for dispensaries and marivoters and a few other counties will the feds reclassify marijuana, cities tion regarding medical marijuana juana-infused products makers. To Discreet assistance in getting ID card and acrossan the nation see professional attempts to change the laws in Colorado that comes from other states and date, the state has issued 11 licenses will feel the heat. Although archathat currently ban dispensaries in Licensed and Confidential the places where medical cannabis to businesses in Boulder, Denver, their communities. So stay tuned to ic, federal laws can override states Bring this is legal. Colorado Springs, Fort Collins and issue of mention changes that will be made regard- laws when it comes to thead in or To close out 2011 on a good note, Littleton, according to the state ing medical cannabis amendments marijuana. So, until election 2012, this ad however, I will share with you a Medical Marijuana Enforcement on your local 2012 ballots. The key SOURCE will keep you informed cause for celebration and the recent Division of the Department of to the survival of the medical can- on everything related to medical good news about the MMJ indus- Revenue (MMED). The state has nabis industry are the thousands cannabis in the state of Colorado. try inhttp://puzzlemaker.discoveryeducation.com/code/BuildWordSe... Colorado. also sent out letters to local govof patients and collective coaliBack in July, various govern- ernments, for the 467 dispensaries To stay informed in Colorado, tions that have come together all mental agencies across the state and products makers, as a way to over the Rocky Mountains. In Fort please visit: legalize2012.com & came together and implemented double-check that those businesses Subscriber Login Passcode/New U Collins, for example, the MMJ sensiblecolorado.org 77 pages of regulations, which gov- have local approval. This is one business owners began a union, ern Colorado’s cannabis industry. of the final hurdles in the overall as they try to protect not only their They are the most comprehensive licensing process. By S. Woodruff COLORADO –L a s t m o n t h , I shared with my readers how the Medical Marijuana Industry(MMJ) was being shaken up in California—as if there had been an 8.5 earthquake. Yet, instead of Mother Nature causing damage, dispensary shutdowns were ordered by the federal government. And, as you may know, the feds don’t honor nor generally respect states’ rights when it comes to marijuana. In other words, those little red cards that we in Colorado paid $90 to get don’t carry a lot of weight. Nor does the fact that dispensary owners literally jump through hoops to stay compliant, more than any other new business in the state. The biggest issue with the federal government is its attitude toward what the citizens voted Medical Marijuana Dispensary Valuable Coupon! MEDICATING PATIENTS WISHING TO REMAIN INVISIBLE FREE EDIBLE WITH EVERY PURCHASE! 970-270-7452 or 970-270-7229 AUTHORIZED 15% OFF WORD SEARCH AnyN Purchase W A V W U K N I W Q C W C K E E V D Z V T L R S Q Q N R Y M V F I U I G W T P S O E Z B F I R B D T N D T U P K A O G J A T N L E A I S N O O Q L V L X B A I E T S C I R M P T O H C V T N U S O A T D S Q B A J X A C T R S G V X Y X B L D G P G I N J E O Q N H W O K D Q V O E T A R T N E C N O C D P N M E D I C A L Q Z G Q J At E A R R P T Q Z H F A Y H A L L C Monday - Friday X O P B U O C T I RETAILER O N U WE NEED YOU Herbal Medical Center A I Doctor Available Every D N I G Q K D T Patient H Expires 4-7-10 A A L Y A N Grow Hydroponic Medical IC Alternative Medicines Edibles - Accessories and Much More! Sativa 10% Off Grand Junction Mention This Ad Edibles (970) 728-1834 FREE Indica 719 Pitkin Avenue Smoke Humbolt Concentrate Constitutional Open 7 days a Week • Mon-Sat 10-8 • Sun. 12-6 3258 F Road Unit B • Clifton Plaza, Clifton, CO 300 W. Colorado Ave. 2c Edible when you show your car One Per Person Natural 100% Money back guarantee if you do not qualify CONCENTRATE 30 different strains of medicine • CONSTITUTIONAL Edibles & flavor tincture GROW HUMBOLT Call 970-433-0399 for details Now Accepting INDICA MEDICAL All Major Credit Cards Office PATIENT 424-5346 • 200-0420 SATIVA [email protected] Alternative C C U J L V L Z Z I X Y L O 12:00-6:00 • Call for an appt. Doctor FeeK only $150 VE ver Alpine Wellness Expires 4-7-1 19 125 Peach Ave. Unit • #B Palisade We now accept Visa, MC and debit cards 1/4 page ad - 9.75” x 4” 1 Issue - $350 6 Issues - $295 The SOURCE / December 2011 12/6/11 6:54 AM The SOURCE 12\09 Live Music December Calendar Drop Top Lincoln • $3 12\31 New Years Eve Party with Latin Knights Hardcore Tattoo Metal show Isidious • Beer Death Skullf*krZ • $5 12\30 Intertwined with guest Decretum • $3 Happy Hour 12p-1p daily • 4:30-7 pm Monday - Friday 4-5pm Saturdays and Sunday. The elephant is the only mammal that can’t jump! One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet! Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different! The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails! Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin! The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible. Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a “Friday the 13th.” On average a hedgehog’s heart beats 300 times a minute. Give The Shaft to: More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More people are allergic to cow’s milk than any other food. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand. http://www.world-english.org/facts.htm Welcome to Loreto, Baja California! Join us at one of the most beautiful places on the planet on Nauti One Friends X-Boss X-Husband X-Wife Politicians Mechanics Bill Collectors X-Girlfriend X-Boyfriend The Best Stocking Stuffer For Christmas 2011 www.sendtheshaft.com Great for Available Bachelor WOW! ACTUALLY MADE IN THE In Grand Junction Bachelorette USA! Adakirky J’s Philly Steaks GJ Flea Market MENTATION MULTIMEDIA & Swap Meet Yore Emporium Orr’s Trading Company Estilos II a Salon Midas Safe & Secure Island Tours Just Offshore of Loreto Our trips our customized to meet you all your needs. We serve drinks & food. Sushi, Clams, Shrimp? What you want is what you get. Fun for the entire Family! This boat has all the necessary safety equipment as well as first aid & bathroom amenities, making your trip safe & comfortable. Parties Birthdays Holidays PO Box 4875 Grand Jct, CO 81502 Dolphins * Whales * Exotic Birds Majestic Views from Nauti One The SOURCE / December 2011 NOW YOU CAN! Give Someone… Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. 20 You’ve Always Wanted To Do It Prices starting at only 350 pesos or $30 US Dollars Per Person Call Today to make reservations 613-113-8116 English 613-113-9939 español Prices include National Park wrist bands (required per person) and launching fees. Weather is always a factor on the sea and trips are subject to cancellation and or early departure. Thank you for your patronage & visiting Loreto, Baja Mexico This gag gift will provide you with hours of laughter! FUNNY! That’s gonna leave a mark! To Sell The Shaft at Your Store Call 970-234-4657 Purchase Online at www.sendtheshaft.com www.givetheshaft.com WOW! ACTUALLY MADE IN THE USA! MENTATION MULTIMEDIA PO Box 4875 Grand Jct, CO 81502 N THAT PENS! THINGS EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe! Lyla’s Purpose • $3 I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS! 539 Colorado Ave 245-0995 12\10 12\17