november 2013 issue
Transcription
november 2013 issue
1 Pretty T Girls November 2013 The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world A 2 Pretty T Girls The Magazine for the most beautiful girls in the world A publication of Pretty T Girls Yahoo group 3 In This Issue PAGE Transgender Day of Remembrance Memorial Editorial by: Barbara Jean How To Find The Right Blush For You 10 Rules For Perfect Brows Fall’s Sexiest MakeupTo Wear Now How To Apply Makeup The Exploits of Barbara Marie Tasi’s Musings Humor Angels In the Centerfold Mellissa’s Tips Shopping In Drab by: Randy The Adventures of Judy Sometimes Tasi’s Fashion News How to Choose and Use Shapewear Gender and the Body Language of Power The Best Coat for Your Body Shape Lucille Sorella David DeAlba Concert The Gossip Fence Shop Till You Drop Calendar 4 5 7 8 9 12 17 20 26 27 29 34 37 39 41 44 45 49 53 54 66 74 4 In Memory This page is dedicated to the memory of those members of our community who have had their lives violently cut short because of who they were. Transgender Day of Remembrance November 20 2013 5 Slobs An Editorial by: Barbara Jean A school in England has prohibited girls as young as 9 from wearing skirts and next year they will have to wear the same uniform as the boys (see September 2013 PTG for the article) In a recent discussion on the various boards I belong to it was talked about how women today dress compared to back in the fifties and early sixties. Women today you will see wearing jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes and flip-flops. And this is not for just something like working in the garden or painting or something where otherwise old clothes are worn, it is to go shopping and even to church. Of course I can’t say men are much better. Jeans, they were only for dirty work or play, not something you wore going to school or shopping. And where we once would not want them to look anything but new today the more worn they look the more fashionable they are. Young kids who wear their pants so low that their underwear shows, flip-flops, tennis shoes, t-shirts with things like sport team logos, or some band logo or something else. All common to see today. And yes, we see these wherever we go, shopping and even to church. Is it a no wonder that many schools, yes even public schools are requiring the kids to wear a uniform to school? AMERICAN YOU HAVE BECOME A NATION OF SLOBS! Those of us who are in our sixties or older probably remember how our teachers used to dress at school. Women always wore a dress or at least a skirt and blouse, heels or some nice flats would be worn. Men always wore a tie. My own mother who was a typist (she died in 56) always wore a ladies suit and heels for work. At church, women were always in their Sunday best and men always wore a suit and tie, or a coat and tie. Now at this point I must give the African Americans (at least in the south) some credit. Church is Sunday best with them, men in suits and ties and ladies in a nice Sunday dress, Oh and they even wear hats. Passing, a term we like to often use, we try to blend in with the natural born women, to look so much like them that people will assume that we are born female. Yet I don’t think many of us would dress the way women today dress, at least not those of us who consider ourselves to be crossdressers. Even those of us who are transsexual I think as a general rule dress better than most natural born females. 6 How many times have we heard a wife say that we were a better looking woman than they were? All too often true. (Probably also a reason for Just not my husband) I find it interesting that our own Judy Danials in one of her post mentioned that with her sundress Thursday group initially she would be the best dressed and that soon the natural born women in her group started dressing much nicer for their little outings. Fashion changes, yes, and perhaps we of the transgender community can be the motivating force to return women to dressing up more. After all they sure don’t want to be outdone by a man in a dress. (Ah will the real woman please stand up…. Oh that’s us.) A Special Thank You to all who have served protecting the freedoms of our nation. Veterans Day November 11th. 2013 7 BEAUTY SCHOOL: HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT BLUSH FOR YOU by Jessica Hagy A perennial sign of femininity and youth, women have been pinching, pasting, coloring and blushing their cheeks for a nice rogue since the days of Ancient Egypt. While the execution has evolved over the years, it wasn’t until recently that we really saw our blush options expand beyond the powder. Creams and stains have been giving the traditional powder a run for its money, so we decided to break down all of your blush options and decipher which texture is best for each skin type. Powder Blush The Basics: With a great buildable nature, powder blush is good for a subtle look, or anyone a bit color-shy. Unlike cream and stain blushes, powder sits on top of the skin, offering a more finished, natural look. Best For: The ‘ole faithful of blush options, powder blush works well on all skin types. It’s also particularly great for oily skin, as it won’t feel heavy or greasy on your face. Application Tips: For the longest-lasting rogue, apply foundation underneath to hold your color longer. Cream Blush The Basics: Cream blush is having an undeniable moment and we’re loving this dewy option, which blends seamlessly into skin. Best For: Thanks to its soft texture, cream blush blends beautifully into skin and also hydrates as you’re wearing it—making it great for dry or aged skin. Application Tips: Cream blushes have slightly more color intensity than powder, so a little goes a long way when blending. Stain/Liquid Blush The Basics: Usually the longest lasting of the bunch, stains and liquids offer a rosy, natural- 8 looking flush that won’t budge. Best For: Their durability makes liquid blush a great option for oily skin that is used to smudged or disappearing color. Application Tips: When applying your stain act fast—dab and blend immediately because once the stain sets, it sets. 10 rules for creating perfect brows Lucky Magazine L.A. makeup artist/brow expert Kristie Streicher (Julia Roberts and Rachel Weisz are thrilled clients) shares her 10 fool-proof rules for perfect brows: 1. “Don’t tweeze more than once every three to four weeks. This keeps brows from looking too thin.” 2. “Draw an invisible line straight up from the outer corner of your nose: Your brow should start here and end along a line from the corner of your nose to the outer corner of your eye. The highest part of your arch should line up just outside your pupil.” MORE FROM LUCKY: 3. “Shower first to open your pores, soften your skin and make tweezing easier. After, use aloe gel to prevent redness and bumps.” 4. “Pull hairs in the direction of growth, one by one, working in natural light.” 5. “Use a regular (not magnifying) mirror;otherwise you can end up with a hole. If you can’t see the hair in a regular mirror, neither can anyone else.” 6. “Don’t make the ends too thin, and feather them outward—this gives the eyes a bit of a lift.” 7. “Over-cutting brows can be as detrimental as over-tweezing. Brush brows straight up and trim hairs one at a time.” 9 8. “It’s a myth that you should never tweeze from the top. The truth is most people need to take a little off the top in order to get the perfect shape.” 9. “If you change your hair color, change your brows to match. Darkening brows adds fullness. Don’t dye them yourself—get it done at a salon.” 10. “Delicate features look best with thinner, more elegant brows. Thicker ones are perfect with stronger bone structure.” Fall's sexiest makeup to wear now Typical fall colors, like burnt orange and maple red, are nice if you're packing up to go leaf peeping in Vermont. Otherwise, yawn. These makeup shades are made for the cooler, sexier, and more adventurous side of the fall season. | By: Sophia Panych PLUM LIPSTICK Spiked with a dash of burgundy and a hit of black, plum lipstick becomes "sophisticated in a twisted kind of way," says makeup artist Tom Pecheux. GET THE LOOK: "A badass shade like this deserves to be strong and sharp," says Pecheux, so layer lipstick on top of a matching lip liner to keep it in place, and use a stiff brush to get precise lines. Keep your eyes simple with black mascara and your skin looking fresh with highlighter. CHOCOLATE LIPS Why play around with timid neutrals? A chocolate brown lip color is like a "tougher, more intense version of nude," says Pecheux. A sheer, creamy finish keeps it from looking brutish. GET THE LOOK: Pecheux tapped the bullet directly onto the lips until he built up the color to the desired intensity (which, at home, is entirely up to you). Other factors to consider: shadow (a wash of taupe) and mascara (lots of it). 10 EMERALD SHADOW If you have a few minutes to get all wing-y and artsy with your shadow, let us suggest a metallic green hue. GET THE LOOK: Rim eyes in black pencil and add a dash of emerald shadow along the lower lashes at the outer corners. "Lining the entire eye can make it look smaller, but a splash of color beneath opens it up," says Pecheux. GARNET EYES A deep metallic red sounds intense—and that's exactly how it's meant to look. "It's rich and luxurious," says makeup artist Pat McGrath. GET THE LOOK: No need to be precise; no need to be precious. Sweep it all over lids, smudge on a ton of black pencil liner along the upper and lower lashes, and call it a (smoking-hot) night. SHEER TAUPE On eyes, cheeks, and lips, taupe (that's brownish gray, to be exact) "has a surprising, understated sex appeal," says Pecheux. That's because it has the same undertones as skin. Naked skin. GET THE LOOK: Dust a matte taupe powder under your cheekbones with an angled brush. Sweep the same shade across your lids in a winged shape. To keep things luminous, dab silver cream on the inner corners of your eyes and swipe on a sheer taupe 11 GLOSSY LILAC What shade of purple can you wear on eyes, cheeks, and lips? It's not a trick question, or a recipe for crazy face—this purple is so glossy and silver- tinged, it works on every feature. GET THE LOOK: A swipe of delicate lilac on the eyes and lips adds a faint flush of color. Vary the intensity—and opacity—by choosing an eye shadow that's a touch darker than your lipstick. TURQUOISE STREAKS We're no strangers to blue eyeliner. Navy, cobalt, aqua—you name it, we've tried it. But this supersaturated turquoise is so fresh and unexpected, even we'd never worn it before. GET THE LOOK: Turquoise liner is bright and shocking on its own, and that's a good thing. Make it even more so by applying it in a thick, unapologetic swoop that extends past the corner. Pecheux diffuses VIOLET LINER Metallic purple with flecks of purple shimmer: Sound a bit like Prince, the makeup collection? Not when it's worn smudged along the upper lashes. "It's so much more interesting than a black liner," says Pecheux. GET THE LOOK: Draw a thick line of violet across lids and blur the edges with your fingers. Purple can swing both ways: A hybrid of red and blue, it accentuates both light and dark eye colors and works with a nude or red-hot lipstick. 12 How To Apply Makeup Makeup should be applied in the following sequence: A Foundation, preceeded if required by under eye concealers. B .Corrections And Improvements. C .Blushers. D Powders. E Eye Makeup. F .Lip Makeup. Use Of Under-Eye Concealers: Concealers are applied to cover dark circles around the eyes, thereby greatly enhancing the appearance of the face. They are matched to the skin tone and are applied before using the harmony foundation. When any product is applied around the eyes, special care must be taken so that the skin is not stretched. Instead of applying the cream from the inside corner of the eye to the outside it should be dabbed on the skin and then gently blended with the finger tips moving from the outside corner to the inside corner. This procedure will not pull the skin. After the product has dried, more can be applied to build up the desired opacity. To remove, use a cosmetic cleanser, instead of vigorously rubbing the skin with soap and water. A.Foundation: Application Technique: Put a little foundation on the hand(add a complimentary tone if necessary). Dot it over the face-on the nose, the cheeks, the chin and the temples and in between the brows. Using the tips of two fingers or a small clean, dampened sponge(from which excess water has been removed) blend the foundation. Always work from the face outwards, to avoid an accumulation of the foundation around the hairline-move from the cheeks to the ears, from between the brows down over the nose, from the chin out towards the jaw, then onto the neck. Work quickly, carefully and lightly. Blend well around the hairline, on the neck, below the eyes and behind the ears. Also take the foundation over the eyelids. Finally blot the face with a clean dry tissue, pressing it lightly over the skin. B. Corrections And Improvements Through The Use Of Make-up: Correction of poor skin tones is achieved by using a correcting make-up base: a mauve base can conceal pale and dull skin tones and brighten the skin. A green base masks red blotches and ruddiness. The under-eye concealer camouflages dark circles under the eye. These correcting bases have to be applied before applying foundation. To improve facial features, use is made of the fact that pale shades lengthen, fill out, and brighten, while dark shades reduce, deepen, darken, and conceal. This form of 13 correcting base is applied after the use of basic foundation. These correcting bases are available as liquids, creams and even as pencils. 1.Correcting The Facial Morphology: The ideal facial shape is oval and by the clever use of dark and pale tones, every facial type can be made to appear oval. a. Trapezoidal Face: The trapezoidal face can be made to look more oval by redefining the lower part with dark foundation and using light makeup at the temple. b. Rectangular And A Square Face: Both these shapes are redefined at the four corners with dark foundation. c. Triangular Face: The triangular face needs dark foundation at the temples and to shorten the chin while the lower face needs enlargement using light makeup. d. An Oval Face: The oval face needs shortening at the forehead and chin with dark foundation. e. Round Face: The round face is made to appear oval by using dark makeup at the temples and around the lower face. 2.Correcting The Chin And The Nose: Here again, playing with colours, you can balance other features of your face. a. A Prominent Chin: This can be corrected by applying dark foundation on the tip of the chin. b. A Double Chin: This can be corrected by putting a dark foundation on the double chin. c. A Long Nose: A long nose appears short by applying dark makeup on the tip. d. A Broad Nose: For a broad nose apply dark foundation along each side of the nose. e. Short Nose: To emphasize a short nose apply pale makeup along the top of the nose along its whole length. f. Narrow Nose: For a narrow nose apply a bright foundation on each side. g. Crooked Nose: For a crooked nose, cover the crooked side with a dark foundation and the opposite side with a light foundation. C. Applying Blusher: The next step is the use of the blusher or the rouge. These cosmetics do several things to your face. How To Apply Blusher? Use the colour on the blush area. This is the part of the face between parallel lines, one extending outward from the corner of your eye and the second from the bottom of your nose. Smile and lightly touch the blusher brush on the fatty part of the cheek and gently brush the blusher toward the temple, making a slight curve. A touch of colour across the forehead and on the chin completes the look. The cream rouge is applied to the cheeks with the fingertips in small amounts and spread in the desired fashion. The 14 powder blusher is applied with a brush. D. Applying Powder: Technique: Make sure the foundation is well blended. Blot the face lightly with a tissue, especially over the forehead, nose and chin. Pick up the powder on the puff and press it firmly on the face, one area at a time. Don't try to smooth it on by massaging the puff over the face. Now using a soft, thick powder brush, whisk away the excess, with downward movement to stop the powder getting caught in the fine facial hair. E. Eye Makeup: Almond shaped eyes are considered to be the ideal. So when making up eyes, one tries with the help of light and dark eye makeup to make the necessary changes to give the eyes an almond appearance. 1.Eyeshadow: Application Technique: The following steps are followed in the application of eyeshadow shades. i. Using a fine, blunt-ended brush, gently apply the base colour to the entire lid from the inside to the outside corner and from the base of the lashes to the eyelid crease. ii. If the eyes need extra definition, a deeper shade is blended into the crease line. This gives depth to the eyes. iii. The brow bone is highlighted with a light shade.This gives the eyes a wide, open look. The colour is applied to the most prominent area and blended up towards the brow and down to where the contour curves down, toward the eyelid creases. Before using them on the lids, always test the colours on the back of the hand to test the intensity. You can use even 3-4 colours, provided they are blended well. Remember pale tones emphasize, while deep sooty shades define. 2.Eye Liners: Application Technique For The Liquid EyeLiner: Test, on the back of your hand, the amount of pressure you should apply. Unless you are a real artist, it is best to steady your elbow on a flat surface. Work from the inside of the eye to the outside corner and keep the line light and even. If you stop at the corner of the eyes, the effect will be round and wide-eyed; if you continue the line and sweep it up and out, you would get a more exotic look. Finally smudge the edges with a cotton bud to soften them. Application Technique For The Pencil Eyeliner: Pencils can be used in the same manner to define or extend the shape of the eyes, but they give a softer, more natural line. Keep them sharpened and ready for use, as blunted or broken points can spoil the whole effect. 15 3.Mascara: How To Apply Mascara? For best results, first look down and brush the top lashes from the roots downwards, then look up and brush the top lashes upwards. Then still looking up, brush colour on the lower lashes. Wait for a minute for them to dry, and similarly apply a second coat. Finally brush with a clean dry brush, to separate the lashes. To Remove Mascara: While removing the mascara avoid the colour from going onto the delicate area below the bottom lashes and close your eyes. Roll a cotton bud dipped in a cosmetic cleanser over the lashes, taking the mascara down onto the tissue. Repeat till all the mascara is gone. 4.Correction Of Eyes Using Makeup: You can improve your eye shape by experimenting with colour and texture. Identify the shape of your eyes and follow the tips given: i. For Small Eyes: Pluck the eyebrows fine to give maximum eye area. Use a little shadow under the lower lashes as well as on the top of the lid. Blend the shadow on the upper lid from the centre outwards, curving it upwards towards the brow in the shape of a wing. Line both the lids, extending the meeting line fairly out, to increase the length of the eyes. Mascara both the upper and lower lashes, using two coats on the outer lashes only. ii. For Wide-Set Eyes: Pencil the eyebrows close to each other.Add a little shadow onto the bridge of the nose or blend your shadow close to the corner of the nose and stop at the centre of the upper lid.To make the eyes appear a little closer, start outlining the upper lid from the inner corner of the eye, bringing it near the nose ridge, leaving just the width of one eye in between the two eyes. Continue the line towards the outer corner but not quite extending up to it. iii. For Close-Set Eyes: Shape the eyebrows so that they don't have the close-together appearance. Use the eyeshadow on the upper outer half of the lid extending above the eye and under the brow. To offset the closeness of the eyes, start drawing the eye line on the upper lid away from the inner corner. Draw it up and out. Similarly, the lower line should not begin from the inner corner. iv. For Deep-Set Eyes: Use a dark eyeshadow under the eyebrow, but not on the lid, where if you want to, you can use a lighter eyeshadow. Line only the lower lid and extend the line fairly out and up. v. For Round Eyes: Make sure the shape of your eyebrows is angular. Blend your shadow from the centre of the lid and deepen it at the outer edge of the eye, extending it a little beyond the outer corner of the eye. Line the upper lids, starting from the inner corner and extend it out and up so as to suggest length. 16 F. Lip Makeup: Lipstick provides the final touch to your makeup; without it no look is complete. For a perfect result, you will need a steady hand, some practice, the correct implements and a knowledge of the correcting techniques. What You Would Need? A narrow, flat ended brush, a selection of finely sharpened lip pencils, lipgloss and lipstick (either the conventional tube lipstick or the cream type with a sponge-tip applicator. If your lip colour is uneven, then you will need a special lip base or balancer -use a lighter tone on the dark areas and a dark tone on the light areas. These balancers also form a base for lipstick and help to keep the colour of the lipstick pure and clear. Lip Makeup Application Technique: 1. Outlining With Lip Liner: Before outlining the lips check that your lips are smooth and grease free. Use a sharp lip liner pencil in a shade close to that of your lipstick colour and with a steady hand, lightly outline the lips. For the upper lip, start at the centre and work out, towards the corner of the mouth. For the lower lip, work from side to side. 2. Priming The Lips With A Lip Balancer: Fill in the lips with a special base or balancer to even out the skin tones.If your lips are of an even colour, use a face powder as a base. 3. Filling Up With Lipstick: Using a lip brush, fill in the colour. For the upper lip start at the center and work outwards. On the lower lip work from side to side. Don't pile up too much colour.It is much easier to add more later than to remove any excess. 4. Blotting Off: Fold a clean tissue and place it between your lips. Press the lips lightly together to remove the excess colour and to help seal the remainder, so that it stays on the lips rather than moving onto every glass you use. 5. Final Lip Gloss Application: Finally finish with a lip gloss to get a gleaming look. However, women with extra-full lips, should use lip gloss very sparingly. Shaping Up Your Lips: Through a knowledge of what you can do to correct lip shape you can truly achieve a perfect finish to your face. Study the shape of your lips, identify the defects, if any, and decide on what you want to achieve and then proceed. 1.Small Mouth With Small Lips: These are easily corrected by taking the lip liner pencil outside the natural lip line. Work slowly and steadily to form a perfect shape. Fill in with primer and finally with the lipstick. A highlight of frosting on the upper lip would also create an impression of fullness. 17 2.Large Mouth With Full Lips: Apply liquid foundation makeup to the entire mouth, then outline with a dark shade of lipstick just inside the natural contours of the mouth. Then aply lipstick of a lighter shade carefully and accurately within this outline. Subdued shades work well for this kind of mouth. Use medium toned lip colours and avoid dark browns, plums, electric brights or pale shimmer shades. 3.Full Upper Lip: Aply fluid foundation makeup to the upper lip. Outline just inside its natural contour and apply a dark shade of lipstick. Then outline the lower lip just outside its natural contour and emphasize by filling in with a lighter shade of lipstick. 4.Full Lower Lip: Outline upper lip just outside its natural contour. Apply a light shade of lipstick and in the center add a touch of lip gloss. Apply fluid foundation makeup to the lower lip. Outline just inside its natural contour. Then fill in with a darker shade of lipstick, using a lip brush. 5.Wide Mouth: Cover the corners of the mouth with foundation makeup or a cover stick. Apply lipstick with a lip brush, stopping a few millimeters before the corners of the mouth are reached. Patching Up: If makeup has to be touched up during the day, only powder makeup should be applied, using a brush. Use gentle patting strokes and blot the excess off. The Exploits of Barbara Marie A TRIP TO VICRORIA SECRETS BY Barbara Marie Davidson When I began to “explore my feminine side”, I bought some inserts from the Breast form Store (on Line) to the tune of $159.00 a pair. Later I bought another pair for the same price that was a C cup. (My wife was a double D cup as she was quite large) After some experimentation, I decided that I like the B size better. Thus I went to Penny’s and was fitted. The lady wanted me to remove my top and ect so that she could measure me exactly. I then told her that I was a hetero cross dresser and was just “coming out.” She took my to the ladies dressing area and measured me and I found out at that time I was measuring a 40 B. store. This 18 was right after my wife passed away in 2006. Fast forward to November 2009. After talking with a psychologist and making some long range plans, I decided it was time to go down to one life – the one I am living now. I had been on HRT For several years but with only a little “budding and tenderness” of the breast along with becoming “chemically castrated”. I was however beginning my transition from male to “female”. I had a friend who was about 15 years my junior that started HRT after I did and she actually made it to a small A cup, In December of 2011, I went with her to Plano Texas where she had her SRS surgery. I took care of her after her surgery as I am a RN. (see my article in the February or march 2012 issue of the PTG Magazine – “A Friends Transition From Male To Female”. A year later, I was “thinking hard” about where the actions concerning my life were headed. Thus in January of 2012, I started the paper work myself for a legal name change from William M to Barbara Marie. My article should have appeared in the March issue of the PTG magazine – “Have You Ever Thought About Changing Your Name”. On February 21st at 0925 in the morning, I legally became Barbara Marie Davidson. However I was not finished considering my next move. In May of that same year, I consulted a plastic surgeon about an Augmentation Mammoplasty. Un be-knowing to me, my friend who had her SRS was doing exactly the same thing. On June 25th, I became a permanent 38 C. On June 26th, she became a 36 D. Approximately two weeks later the lady that owns the nail shop had hers done and is now a D cup as well. This all was just a preface to my trip to Victoria Secrets. For about six or eight weeks after my surgery I wore the sports (surgical) bras that I was given when I had my surgery. After that I went back to J.C. Penny’s and bought several regular bras to wear. When I was given the OK to get some under wire and pushup bras, I went for it. However I quickly found that I did not need a pushup, as I was “perky” enough with out them. I did however like the under wire to the point that I found them quite comfortable. Some of the ladies at the nail shop all wear Victoria secret’s Bras and wanted to know when I was going to go to VS (Victoria Secrets) and buy some of their bras. I had bee numerous times with the ladies from the shop but never had bought anything for myself. Early in 2013, I finally consented/ decided that this was the time to go. It was my first shopping trip for me to purchase something for my self. At VS, I was looking around at the hug selection of bras available, when one of the sales clerks came over and offered some help. I explained that I had recently had an Augmentation Mammoplasty and needed to be “refitted”. I measured out as a 38 C just as I had done at Penny’s. She then offered me several styles of bras. After several trials and errors, I finally told her that I was a M2F transgendered/transsexual person recently post op. She then showed me some bras that were more in my league. She explained that as time went on and I felt more comfortable with my self, my taste would change. I picked out four bras that I like that were 2 for $49.00. At the check out counter, I decided to apply for a VS (angel) credit card and was instantly approved for more than I would ever need. (I am constantly getting coupons and other things for discounts or a free pair of Panties.) I must admit that the VS bras are quite comfortable, as now I know why the ladies kept telling me that I would like them. 19 I made several more trips to VS with some of the ladies but never bought any thing else for me. In fact I gave them some of the discount cards that I had received in the mail for them to use. Over the Labor Day weekend I made still another trip to Savannah to the Mall just to go to VS. I was on a mission for myself this time, although one of the ladies went with me, as she wanted to go to VS Also. Due to the fact of my age when I started my HRT and somewhat lack of breast development, which resulted in my mammoplasty, it was very hard for me to create the cleavage that I wanted when wearing something “low cut”. One of the sales ladies came over and I explained my situation to here and she offer some suggestions but not seemed to be what I wanted. She then got one of the other sales representatives who had an augmentation her self and was more in tune with what I was after considering my history which I again explained to her. She was quite receptive to the fact that I was a “male” in a female “world. My friend that was with me was going to try on some bras as well. I also valued her opinion as to what I was doing so I explained to the sales rep. that we were going to share the dressing room which was fine with her given the circumstances. “Robin” brought several styles of bras for me to try on. She explained that these were some of the styles that ladies with augmentations tended to favor. She was also sympatric to my reasons for wanting something like these. She even came into the dressing room, at my request, while I tried several of them on. We finally narrowed the choices down to two. They came close to what I was after but it would have been better if I had a little more breast tissue to work with. These bras were $48.00 a piece. I had several coupons, which had expired in July; however, she said that they would take them at the check out counter. One was for $10.00 off a bra and the other was for a free pair of panties (which I gave to my friend, who got a bra and 3 pair of panties plus a free pair). (Of Note, I was still a “gentleman” while sharing the dressing room with my friend as I turned my back as she was trying on the bra and a pair of panties.) At the check out counter, I received $10.00 off one of the bras per the expired coupon. The sales lady came over and not only thanked me for my purchase but gave me her card with her name and of course invited me to come back. I had purchased a beige and a black bra in one style and a black bra in the other style. Over all, this trip was a very pleasant experience and the sales lady was quite knowledgeable in what I “wanted”. She treated me with the same respect that she would have given any of her female customers although she knew per a short conversation earlier that there was a useless appendage still between my legs. Yes, I believe that I will continue to purchase my bras from VS should I have the need for some new ones. I do recommend that when any of you are in the market for a new bra, don’t rule out VS. At least give them a chance, as most of their bras are comparable to the name brand that many folks do buy. I will admit that some of the styles and colors are for the younger generation, so don’t rule them out completely. Hugs Barbara Marie 20 Tasi’s Musings, November, 2013 Greetings from Merida Do Mexicans celebrate Halloween? Well, yes they do. Over the years, Mexicans have adopted any number of American holidays, like Valentine’s Day, and put their own unique twist on it. It’s not the traditional “Trick or Treat”, but rather something a little more low key. Mexican trick-or-treaters do not shout “trick-or-treat,” which is difficult to pronounce in Spanish. Instead, they chant queremos Halloween (we want Halloween). In other words, the celebration has been Mexicanized a little. Some Mexicans argue against it because it falls just two days before one of Mexico’s most famous holidays¸ Día de los Muertos, the Day of the Dead. In fact, the two observances are historically linked. It’s more correct to say that the Day of the Dead in Mexico is a Mexican form of the Catholic All Saints’ Day, and it contains both European and indigenous elements. The traditional food of the day, pan de muerto, is of European origin. The “calavera” (skull) is a humorously morbid poem which is addressed to a friend or public figure. This genre of poetry has its origin in Cervantes’ Don Quixote, in early 17th century Spain. The small platform called the “altar de muertos,” dedicated to the memory of a departed loved one, is of indigenous origin, although Catholicized. It might be more correct to refer to the Day of the Dead not as a single custom, but a complex of diverse customs, varying greatly among the regions and families of the country. Both days derive from related dates in the Catholic calendar. Halloween (October 31st) means All Hallows’ Eve, November 1st being All Hallows’ Day, and November 2nd, the Day of the Dead, is All Souls’ Day. That means that Halloween and the Day of the Dead, like it or not, have been related since medieval times. And nowadays both are part of contemporary Mexican society. In the News Increasing Transgender Awareness. With all the forward motion on trans rights, how is it that America is still behind the curve in having and enforcing equality and freedom? If you have ever participated in an event on the Transgender Day of Remembrance, you know what I'm 21 talking about. The memorials of that day reveal that America has a pretty big losing streak. Why do we consistently fail to treat gender-variant people well? Dr. Michele Angello is a therapist who works specifically with transgender youth and their families. She has led the way in educating entire churches, schools and communities about transgender identity. New Zealand Ex-Brothel for Sale – Colorful Transgender History. The name Carmen is synonymous with the transgender world in both Australia and New Zealand. The former brothel of Carmen Rupe, renowned drag performer, anti-discrimination and HIV/AIDS activist, is on the market. In her 1988 autobiography, Having a Ball: My Life, Carmen described the century-old home in Hataitai, Wellington as the “ideal place for the discreet entertainment of clients”. Click on the link above for more about this interesting place. Christians who refused to work with gays lose final court case Judges at the European Court of Human Rights have blocked the final legal avenue for two Christians who refused to do their jobs for gay people. Lillian Ladele and Gary McFarlane both argued their beliefs meant they couldn’t work with gay and lesbian couples and that forcing them to do so amounted to discrimination. The court ruled against them on 15 January saying their rights had not been infringed by their employers. This obviously has implications for the transgender community too. Disney Princesses Become 'Disney Drag Queens' for Halloween. For better or worse, Disney princesses remain storied icons for generations of Americans. With Halloween less than two weeks away, classic female characters like Snow White, Cinderella and Pocahontas are expected to be as popular this year as they ever have been. That spirit seems to have something to do with cartoonist Kevin Bolk's illustrated recreation of the Disney princess family, which he recently reimagined as "Disney Queens." Bolk's illustration serves up a little transgender realness to the usually effete world of characters like Belle, Jasmine and Ariel. Though these princesses are typically representative of very traditional gender roles, through Bolk's eyes, they've become memorable illustrations of diversity and inclusion. Atlanta Pride Trans March ensures 'T' is not silent. The fifth annual Trans March was held 22 Saturday, Oct. 12, at Piedmont Park as part of the official Atlanta Pride activities, leading about 100 marchers through the marketplace in inside the park. Petra Doan, 57, and her friend, Margeaux, 62, traveled from Tallahassee, Fla., to attend Atlanta Pride as well as participate in the Trans March. "I came out in Atlanta 20 years ago as a trans woman. Now we have Transgender Tallahassee, but it feels like coming home [to be in Atlanta]," Doan said. Books and Movies Bargain Fever: How to Shop in a Discounted World. Discounts are no longer the exception, they’re the norm. But is that bargain really a bargain? Paying full price is so passé. A quarter of the population will only open their wallets if something is on sale. Everyone wants a deal, a steal, a hookup with a discount or a way to cut costs. People don’t only want a deep discount, they expect it and won’t settle for anything less. So there’s never been a better time to be a buyer, right? Perhaps. Sellers have developed their own tricks to protect profit margins amid such markdown mania—ones that include secret sales, shifting prices, and shredding perfectly good clothes. Want to know some of these secrets, then follow our Savvy Shopper and Putting It Together in the Dressing Room at Sister House. 35 Years as the Unofficial Photographer of Transgender Life Mariette Pathy Allen’s 35-year journey documenting the transgender community had a serendipitous beginning. In 1978, Allen and her husband went on a trip to New Orleans and happened to stay in the same inn as a group of cross-dressers. One morning after breakfast, the group began taking pictures by the swimming pool, and 23 Allen, already with her camera equipment, gently asked if she could take a few shots as well. In 1990, Allen published her first book, Transformations: Cross dressers and Those Who Love Them, a collection of images and interviews of what was then a taboo topic. Allen didn’t necessarily see the book as one that belonged to her, but she said she saw herself as a conduit for people who were aching to have their stories told, many of whom passed around copies, signing them as if it were a yearbook. It’s an amazing story. Click the link above for the full story. Fashion and Beauty Plus size clothing not keeping up with US growth demand. When it comes to women’s clothing sizes, there’s some funny math going on. The average American woman is about 25 pounds heavier than she was in 1960. Yet women’s plus-size clothing, generally defined as size 14 and up, still makes up only about 9 percent of the $190 billion spent annually on clothes. What’s wrong with this equation? It’s not that plus-size women aren’t into fashion. Rather, the fashion industry doesn’t seem interested in them. The fashion industry has long spent more time, money and marketing on clothing for taut bodies than for curvier ones because it’s easier and more profitable to do so. But retail analysts and plus-size women say there’s something else at play: Stereotypes about larger women not wanting to dress fashionably keep companies from making clothes that are flattering to them. And in turn, that discourages them from spending more. Carmen Barrington, 32, says that attitude has resulted in fewer plus-size options. Barrington, who wears around a size 22, lamented recently after a day of shopping at Forever 21, Lane Bryant and other stores that she sometimes can’t even find decent plus-size clothing at retailers that specialize in it. What’s this have to do with cross-dressing. Well, since men usually have larger frames than women, then the amount of fashionable clothes available for us is also less. A woman’s 14 (in misses sizes is a large) would be a chest measurement with forms on of about 40 in. Plus size women start at 1X or a bust measurement of 43 in. Although I suspect we may not be as discriminating as most women, Carmen’s dilemma is not uncommon. I’ve walked into many a plus-size store and simply found nothing of interest, which is the reason that I shop online…more choices. Women’s sizes, which today range from 0 to 36 but vary from store to store, haven’t evolved much for decades. And for the most part, neither have the range of plus-size fashions. Most big box stores stop at 24. 24 As a result, the amount spent on women’s plus-size clothing annually has only risen by one percentage point to 9 percent since 2011, the furthest back plus-size data available from research firm NPD Group But there is some hope.. Lane Bryant, a plus size retailer, said earlier this month that it is expanding into higher-end designer clothing. It will debut its first designer collaboration with Isabel and Ruben Toledo on a collection of holiday clothes and later a spring line. And online retailer ASOS three years ago launched a plus-size category called ASOS Curve with sizes 14 to 24. The company fits everything on a size 16 model to “ensure we are offering the right fit and comfort to our customers,” says Natasha Smith, an ASOS Curve buyer. The company wouldn’t disclose sales figures but said they’ve been stronger each season. Whether to carry plus-size clothing is a risk calculation for most retailers, said Daniel Butler, a vice president for the National Retail Federation. “Most retailers can’t afford to fit everybody,” he says. That’s a challenge ModCloth, an online clothing retailer that sells clothes by indie designers, faced when it decided to start offering plus sizes. ModCloth regularly works with 1,500 designers, but none of them offered plus sizes, says Samara Fetto, a category manager at the San Francisco-based retailer. After ModCloth hired an expert to help the designers learn how to make larger sizes, the retailer started selling plus sizes a year ago and officially launched the category in June. Now, more than 100 vendors offer plus sizes and Modcloth’s sales of plus-size items have quadrupled within the year. The plus-size customer has been gaining a voice on social media lately. The blogging world is helping open up people’s eyes to what is available and what isn’t available. Plus-size consumers are hungry for more options, unique options, not just same thing off the rack. I hope retailers that have not gone into plus sizes realize we have the same amount of disposable income just like every other shopper. On Sister House, we cater to all sizes of women. The secret is to really know your size so check our article on sizing for your best guidelines and then read the manufacturers size chart when you buy online or in the store. Also check our latest fashion news in the Dressing Room. 25 Humor And as Paul Harvey said, “Now you know the rest of the story” So until next month Hugs……Tasi 26 HUMOR THE TURKEY! The Turkey Shot out of the oven and rocketed into the air... It knocked every plate off the table and partly demolished a chair... It ricocheted into a corner and burst with a deafening boom... Then splattered all over the kitchen completely obscuring the room... It stuck to the walls and the windows it totally coated the floor... There was Turkey attached to the ceiling Where there'd never been Turkey before... It blanketed every appliance It smeared every saucer and bowl... There wasn't a way I could stop it that Turkey was out of control... I scraped and scrubbed with displeasure and thought with chagrin as I mopped... That I'd never again stuff a Turkey with popcorn that hadn't been popped! 27 Sal ly Ma e Cha n tal Angels In the Centerfold Gin ger ean s yD Tri x 28 29 Mellissalynn’s Tips & Tricks Hi, girls! Welcome to November, one of my more favorite months. My birthyday is this month, when I’ve turned <CLASSIFIED>. And the turkey is in the freezer, ready to be thawed and cooked. The US government shutdown is over, thankfully! This was a big stressor for me, as I get my school money from the Veterans Affairs, and they weren’t gonna have any money to give me if it had kept going. That would have made for a really lousy month…but it didn’t happen, and all is well again. So now my big worry is graduating school again. I had a really interesting experience the last time I was out en femme. I went to our local outlet mall in Tuscola and did some shopping. While I was there, I had my first official bra fitting! It turns out that I’m a 46DD with forms and a 46B without. This is good stuff to know! I had this done at Lane Bryant, and ended up picking up four really nice bras. So how was your month? Did you have a great experience shopping, or maybe stress out as I did over the shutdown? Tell me your story! Or share a tip or trick that you think the readers would like. You know the e-mail to send them to: [email protected] . On with the column! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ We had a class recently regarding eyebrows in school, and it stunned me to find out that most genetic girls are just as clueless on how to treat brows as we are. There was a lot of debate and a lot of conversation in the class, but these are the five most important tips I pulled from the session: 1. Never tweeze when you're angry. Whether you’re mad or bored and just looking for something to do, you should never take it out on your eyebrows. Focus that beauty energy elsewhere! Maybe this would be a good time to take a pumice stone to your much-neglected heels. 2. Stock your brow kit. Always have a brow pencil to draw in your ideal shape, brow powder to fill in bald patches, and gel to set them. 30 3. Treat brow color like hair color. When it comes to color, eyebrow hair is just like regular hair. There is top and undertone to consider. Try on different brow powders in the store and see how your brow shade complements your hair and skin tone. 4. Don’t cut yourself (or your brows) short. Many people think brows should end in line with their irises. Actually, they should extend to follow the brow bone. If you’re finding that your brow tails are no longer growing back, try a growth serum. 5. Know where to start shaping. The easiest way to decide where to start shaping is to place your thumb on the nose bridge and mark both sides with an eyebrow pencil. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ When you notice your mascara is starting to run out you can stretch it a little farther. Simply add a few drops of saline solution for eyes to the tube. You will be amazed by how well this works. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Here's a trick to fill in your eyebrows without looking unnatural. Go one shade lighter than your hair color; this creates a far more natural look than using a darker color that makes you seem to have bushy brows. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Here’s a basic rule of thumb. If a color looks great on the walls of your house, it’s probably not a good color to wear on your lips. I’m talking about nude colors, ladies. The purpose of a nude lipstick is to make your lips look fuller, but a beige generally won’t do that for you. Try colors like a sheer peachy pink, or maybe a golden tawny color. A touch of shimmer is a good look as well. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ This month, I want to talk a moment about facial scrubs. Do you use one for exfoliating? You should! A good facial exfoliation, which you can do in your own shower, is not only a great beauty booster, but is also a way to better health. Exfoliated skin is clear of dead skin cells, which lets your skin breathe better, and also helps prevent breakouts. Having said that, here are two things to remember. First of all, beware of facial scrubs with stuff like avocado in them. There certainly is avocado in them; little bits of broken avocado that can cause microscopic abrasions in the skin. This isn’t exfoliating, this is harming your skin, girls. Look for a different scrub. The second thing I want to stress is that when your face starts feeling tight and squeaky…well, you’ve gone too far. That skin has no oils left on it at all, and that’s just a bad thing. Your skin does need some oil to stay limber and lubricated. More importantly, then you do this, your 31 sebaceous glands (the ones that create the oil your body needs) will go into overdrive and kick out too much oil, and that again can lead to breakouts. So temper the scrubbing, ladies, and you’ll have beautiful, healthy skin. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Here’s a quick tip for an emergency. Did you know that, in an absolute pinch, you could use corn starch for face powder? You need to take care not to use too much in a sitting, however. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Regina, one of the girls from deviantArt who reads this column, asked me recently how she could get her hair to dry more quickly. Regina is one of us lucky girls who has a full head of natural, long, luscious locks; hers are in a dark, gorgeous red. Anyway, now that my moment of envy is over, I’m sharing this tip again. This one’s for you, Regina! “You can cut up to fifteen minutes off your morning preparation time by trying this technique. With your dryer set on low, turn your head upside down and dry while using your fingers to style. Spend most of the time on the nape of your neck; that's the area that takes the longest to dry. The outer layers of your hair will air-dry much more quickly.” @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ You’ve been out for a night on the town with the girls, and you just got back. It’s time for bed, you’re tired, but oops! You just discovered that you’re out of makeup remover wipes. What to do? This is a quick and inexpensive tip for removing makeup. Put some baby oil on a cotton pad or ball. Swipe it across your face (be careful if you’re starting to get stubbly, as this will rip the cotton and become messy in its own right). @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Do you have baby powder in your medicine cabinet? If you do, this tip is for you! Baby powder can be used in your beauty routine. Let me outline a couple of ways. Baby powder has worked quite well for me as an inexpensive beard concealer. Take a small amount in your palm and work it into your freshly-shaven beard area. When done correctly, the powder will coat the remaining beard follicles and disguise the color, leaving you with a much lighter complexion in the chin and jawline. Another use for baby powder is as a finishing powder. When you're done applying your makeup, take your brush and apply a very light dusting of baby powder. This will give your face a radiant glow. 32 Be careful when using baby powder, however. You want to be sparing in its use. Too much will make you look pale. Also, take care not to get the powder on your clothing, or on the floor. Baby powder is very hard to remove without washing a garment. Also, the talc in it can cause your floor to become slippery. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ As a budding esthetician, I can’t stress enough to you ladies how important it is to use your eye creams and moisturizer. As we age, our skin loses its elasticity. This causes the fine lines and wrinkles that no one really wants. By tending to your skin, this can be put off for awhile. Cream, under-eye treatment, moisturizing lotion, or almost any such product works best at night. I know, this can become a hassle, but you should your eye cream and lotions right before going to bed. If you use a lotion or moisturizer on your face, it's a good idea to use it on your neck and arms, too. Remember, beauty is hard work, girls! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Has someone told you that you shouldn’t wear a red lipstick? Don’t listen! Red lipstick can look good on anyone; it’s a matter of finding the right shade of red. If you have red or pinkish undertones, go with a cool red with a pinkish or bluish undertone, or even a pure red; you want to avoid the orange-based reds! Only use those, or peach-toned reds, if your skin has yellow undertones. If you have olive skin, go for a pure red. Any skin tone is complemented by brown-based reds. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Ladies, what is our best beauty aid? Say it with me now: sleep! You should strive to get at least six hours of sleep every night. But here’s a way to look rested even if you weren’t able to get those blessed hours. Before you get in the shower in the morning, apply a thick layer of moisturizer to your face. Use an invigorating shower gel and end with a cool rinse. Gently massage off the moisturizer at the end of the shower with a damp washcloth. The moist heat helps get rid of fine lines and creases temporarily, and will make you appear more rested. 33 PS: this trick even works in boring boy mode. Try it! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ And, continuing in this same vein, what’s our second-best beauty aid? Drinking a lot of water, of course. Keeping your body, and therefore your skin, hydrated is as important as any makeup choice you could make. Here’s a number for you to ponder: for every cup of coffee or can of soda you drink, you need to take in three times as much water. So, if you have a twelve-ounce can of soda, that’s thirtysix ounces of water your body wants! Low-sugar fruits, like berries and melons, also help keep your skin firm without being so sweet as to increase your blood sugar (which encourages water retention and increased inflammation). @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I recently had a lady come into the school for a manicure. She was talking tome about how brittle her nails are. Being at school, of course, I have the pro products to help with that, but I also shared the following advice with her. I told her that she might not be getting enough calcium. Calcium is very important to our bodies. Make sure you get plenty in your diet, both in the food you eat, as well as taking vitamins if necessary (remember that you should always check with your physician before starting something like that, however.). I also advised her to check the labels on any lotions she might be using. Many lotions tend to contain alcohol, and can make brittle nails worse. This is something to remember when you go shopping for a lotion for yourself. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ And that’s gonna put the wrap on this month’s column, kids. I’m off to get some other writing done. I hope you all have a wonderful Turkey Day here in the US, and a wonderful month to the rest of you poor souls who aren’t fortunate enough to get to enjoy our Thanksgiving. I will think fondly of you all as I’m sitting down to my dinner that day…and again as I’m watching a great football game…and again as I have a turkey sandwich or two later in the evening…and then again that night as all the turkey I’ve eaten catches up to me and I pass out! So if you want to talk about turkey, or football, or something else I’ve said in this column (or any past ones for that matter), let me know! Nothing has changed from the beginning of the article. I’m still at [email protected] , and I’ll answer any letters I get. Have a great month, ladies! 34 Shopping in Drab Mode By Randy The various groups, of which I am a part, shopping often is a topic of discussion. Ok, no surprise there, what girl doesn’t like to shop? For more than a few of us, this joyful activity poses some logistical problems. Per agreement with my spouse, in my hometown and in Branson, our frequent vacation spot, I do not go out en femme. If I were to only go shopping en femme that would severely limit my shopping possibilities, a situation with which I am not willing to live. Since the majority of us did not grow up as girls, we are also on a sharp learning curve when it comes to style and fashion. Where some of you ladies have wives who are supportive and helpful, the majority of us do not. I am fortunate in having developed a wonderful relationship with three fantastic women at three stores I often frequent. For me, there were two things that I had to get past in order to make my shopping experiences beneficial. The first was overcoming the fear. I doubt if I really need to describe what fear I am talking about. Who among us have not felt that fear in relation to our femme sides when out and about? However, for the sales personnel to be truly helpful, I felt that I needed to be honest that I was shopping for myself, even when in drab mode. As a result I have been simply amazed at how helpful and understanding the sale personnel have been towards me. The second obstacle related to trying things on without my breast forms. Without the forms it was rather difficult to tell how well an item would fit in the bust. I solved this problem with what I refer to as my shopping bra. It is a Maidenform bra in a 38B that is padded to add two sizes. Although I don’t fill out a B cup, it works sufficiently to approximate my normal size of 38C with my forms. I carry it in one of those little canvas backpack bags. The first woman that really helped me learn a great deal is Carolyn. I first met her while vacationing in the Branson area at a Dress Barn. I was trying to find a top that would go with a skirt that I had purchased previously at my Dress Barn at home. Carolyn was very astute in figuring out that the plaid skirt that I was describing was in fact mine. In the ensuing hour, through much trial and error, Carolyn taught me a great deal about colors and what colors and styles go with what colors and styles. Taking the time to teach this fledgling girl that there is a difference 35 between a blue purple and a pink purple. (Who knew?) The outfit that we came up with is one of my favorites in the photo below right. Several months later, when I was again in the Branson area, I brought a photo to show Carolyn how well the outfit came together. When I showed her the photo, she exclaimed, “That’s you? Wow!” From there, I learned another lesson in being a woman and that is women notice EVERYTHING! She asked about my nails, commented favorably on my boots and critiqued how well everything that she had chosen meshed with the skirt. Needless to say, she put me on cloud nine! Since that time, the Dress Barn that Carolyn worked at has closed. However, I learned through asking at another Dress Barn in the area that she had been employed as store manager by Limited Editions for Her in the Branson Landing. I travel to the area five or six times a year, and always make sure to manage a visit to her store. I am always greeted with a smile and a hug, and a few minutes of catching up on what been happening since the last time I visited. Then we get down to shopping. While I peruse the store, Carolyn will also search out items that she thinks will work for me, sets up a dressing room, and often checks and gives her opinion on how various items either work or don’t work for my figure and coloring. To the left is a dress that she selected for me on one of my recent visits. The second woman that I am indebted to is Karla. She is the store manager at a Dress Barn store, also located in the Branson Landing. It may be months between visits, yet she still greets me with a smile and calls me by name. On several occasions I have found an item or two and asked her assistance in coordinating. She always sets up a dressing room for my use, and checks frequently to see if I need any assistance. Additionally her opinion of what does and does not work for me has been invaluable. The dress to the right is one that she helped me select on a recent visit. The third woman is Marcha, the store manager of my home Dress Barn store. Obviously, this is the store that I frequent the most and the store that I do the most business with. I have never entered her store and not 36 been treated with the utmost kindness and respect. She always greets me by name and with a smile. Often she asks about my parents and how they are doing. She takes an interest in her customers beyond mere fashion. Her attitude shows in her staff as well. Recently I went in with photos of two skirts that I had purchased from Carolyn while I was in Branson, but couldn’t find any tops that I liked. Marcha was busy with another customer, but a young sales associate by the name of Cristin helped me. I showed her the two photos, told her what size I needed and off we went. While in the process, Marcha came to greet me and to make sure that Cristin was helping me appropriately. After selecting about a dozen tops, Cristin then led me to a dressing room to try them on. As you can see, Cristin did very well in her selections. I have had very similar interactions with most of the sales associates in her store. I always feel welcome. I feel that it is vitally important is to show appreciation. I shop at these are three stores frequently, and the primary reason is the help and assistance that I have received from these awesome women. I have written numerous e-mails to the respective corporate offices detailing the wonderful help and acceptance that I have received in these stores. I also follow up by taking in pictures of the outfits when I have the makeup and hair done, so they can see the finished package. I have learned much from their comments on the photos of when I’m doing it right and when I need to rethink a particular look. 37 Is shopping in male mode optimal? No, absolutely not. It can still be an enjoyable and rewarding experience. It is all about the attitude. The Adventures of Judy Sometimes Judy Danials The California Girl A couple years ago I reconnected with a women I went to high school with. We really weren't friends per se, but our paths crossed throughout our school years. Kay was a grade behind me, but we had many common friends that we would hangout with on school nights and weekends. Our friendship started out with a friend request to my boy profile on Facebook and after a few months of corresponding I felt comfortable enough to send her a friend request from my Judy page. Without much surprise she accepted the request right away and we started corresponding through my Judy profile exclusively. Over the next few weeks a real bond seemed to be forming and one day she hit me with a real bombshell, she came out to me. So, the girl that could get any boy she wanted to in high school was a lesbian, was I surprised, you bet, I had know idea. OK, how would I know or any friends from her past for that matter, she left Fargo over 30 years ago. Like many of our friends Kay left for bigger and better things and was off to start college in Arizona with sights on a degree in graphic design. What I didn't know at the time was that she went down there with her boyfriend at the time, Paul, a mutual friend, but sadly they parted ways within three months of arriving. It wasn't long after that she discovered her attraction to women. She tells me she met an amazing women that she instantly found her self attracted to and with a single kiss her life changed forever. Kay eventually obtained her degree and moved off to San Diego to claim her fortune. She found success in her field rather quickly and enjoyed the first few years of her California life living paycheck to paycheck like many young people starting out their careers. In the early 90's she found herself in a unique position. She was offered a graphic design job with Playboy, yes, you heard that right. Once she established herself in the industry she decided to go out on her own and freelance with the likes of Penthouse, Hustler and all the rest of the popular men's magazines. During this time in her life she tells me she lived almost a fantasy life, living in the fast lane if you will, which eventually lead to design work in the porn industry. Now, the bulk of her work was web design, not the actual pictures so many of us like to oogle. As she describes it, she designed the outside of the house, the eye candy the draws us males to the websites. Her career in the industry earned her a life on easy street up until around 2008 when the recession hit. She had been making a 6 figure income for the better part of 15 years and had most of the material things a girl could possibly dream of wanting, but there was one 38 thing she didn't have, she didn't really know who she was. For the last 7 years or so she has kind of just floated around, she still does graphic design and web development, but on a much smaller scale and far from the porn industry. Which brings us to where we are today. Last spring she started talking about coming for a visit, my description of life in the midwest seemed to interest her, after all she did grow up here. She told me she really hadn't been back here other than a few 3 day stints to visit family over the last 30 plus years and she wanted to experience fall, or as I call it, shorts, sweatshirts and bonfire season. What she really wants to do is come to our cabin, which she is doing this weekend. We had talked about the lake area many times in our conversations on Facebook and she said she really misses experiencing it. I sent her pictures of our place and she has literally fell in love with what we call "Summer Wind". Anyway, she and a friend arrived here in Fargo in mid September and much to my surprise I was one of the first people she wanted to see. I thought this odd, especially since we weren't close in high school, merely distant friends. I will admit I had some real butterflies in my stomach upon our first meeting, which by the way was at Speck's Breakfast Club of all places. When she walked in I waved her over to where we were sitting and she gave me one of the biggest hugs I have ever gotten, I knew right away good things were going to come from this. Our first chat was absolutely amazing, if it had not been for our previous plans I have no doubt that we could have sat there all day and caught up on each others lives. We have since went out several times and our bond seems to get stronger with each visit. I don't know if its the fact that she has come out to me that has made the difference or not. I might add that very few of her old friends that are still around here know of her lesbianism so she has only had contact with about a half dozen old girlfriends. I sometimes wonder if everybody hasn't already figured it out, after all, why would one of the most popular girls in high school want to hang out with a crossdresser ? lol. Oh well, I certainly don't care because I'm having the time of my life. Kay is staying with her brother while here and has since decided to spend the winter in Fargo saying she needs to find herself. She says she is burned out on her California life and needs to "find her roots" as she describes it. As you can imagine her California friends thinks she's crazy, but she assures them this is something she has thought about for quite sometime. I am truly happy for her and am glad she has included me in finding herself. She has invite my wife and I out for dinner in late October when her "special friend" arrives, a life long California lady who has never been to the Midwest. They have dated on and off for the last four years and I think she has finally decided this is "the one". It should be fun, I will let you know the details next month. Judy (Life is all about good friends) sometimes 39 If You Have Style, You Must Be a Woman Tasi Zuriack | Style is a person’s means of expressing themselves through clothing, hair, and accessories Fashion fades, only style remains the same –Coco Chanel Style seems to be very elusive at times, particularly if you are a beginner crossdresser, but it persists even to full-time dressers. In the beginning, I bought what appealed to me with no real idea of how clothes went together to express my inner feelings of femininity. I liked it, I bought it and when confronted by my wife or another helpful female, the response to my selections all too often was “whatever were you thinking?” My wife referred to my clothes as the Daniels Bible Church look, a look from our time in West Virginia when all the ladies wore their floral dresses to church. An awful lot of those early styles ended up at Goodwill. The books all say that your clothes should reflect your inner personality but it’s not all that easy when you weren’t raised as a girl and experimented along the way to find out your style preferences. Fortunately help is at hand. I’ve probably taken a dozen style quizzes over the years and although the results were reasonably consistent, it didn’t take me to the next step. But knowing your style personality is at least a starting point. Check out this Style personality quiz from the Chic Fashionista. You should walk away with some sense of your fashion persona. It’s probably true that that some clothes just don’t speak to you or make you feel good while others feel just right. In my case, and it may be true for you as well, I favor a mix of styles. I love the classic look, but more often than not dress in a Bohemian style with bright colors and long flowing skirts (did I tell you my roots come from Bohemia…maybe it’s in the genes) Now aside from showcasing your dazzling personality, developing a personal style helps you maintain a consistent, pulled together appearance which some call style. Now I’ve talked about Caryn Franklin before. Her website, How To Look Good, has a wealth of information and by defining your body shape, you can download her free books which talk to dressing for your body shape. These body shapes go by different names, but for us it’s normally a rectangular, apple, or heart-shaped/inverted-V. Most women are pear-shaped. No one expects you to look like Kate Moss or Victoria Beckham who have personal stylists and unlimited budgets so they look like they just stepped out of Vogue when they run to the grocery 40 store. That’s not likely to happen with our limited bank accounts (and other disadvantages), yet fashion experts say that you can look fabulous, regardless of how much you have to spend. Part of the key to becoming a fashionista is figuring out your personal style — then finding specific wardrobe pieces that highlight it. Here are 10 ways to cultivate your own special look. You’ll find out how to buy clothes that accentuate your assets, learn tips for making the most of your existing wardrobe and discover how to look like a million bucks — without spending anywhere near that much. Now all of this guidance is heading somewhere and that’s to Sister House’s Grand Opening and our Style Contest. So far, ten lovely ladies are competing for a prize of a fabulous corset from Hips & Curves. But we need more, many more. I’ve seen too many pictures of lovely transgendered women not to know that you should be sharing your taste in clothes with the rest of us. In addition to the prizes, the winner will become the Sister House Style Icon and featured in many of our articles. The judges are three real style experts, two with Master’s degrees in fashion. And by joining Sister House, you can download my free book on Top Ten Fashion Mistakes by Crossdressers and How To Fix Them. Actually this book is good for most women, not just TG women. Or you can check out The Fashionable TG Woman blog which focuses on fashion and style for the TG woman in practicable and useful ways that you can apply in your everyday dressing. Now I also understand that fully 40% rarely go out or if you do (another 20%), then you are unsure of Audrey Hepburn – Marilyn Monroe yourself. If you are like me, it’s because no one ever taught me how to do these things. It’s fine to sell me stuff, but not knowing how to combine the various fashions into cohesive outfits leads to many of the humorous outfits that I’ve seen all too often on Flickr and other crossdressing picture sites. Lori’s column, Putting It Together in the Sister House Dressing Room is just one place you can go for help. And my blog is and will continue to provide you help in becoming a well-dressed woman. I don’t need to reinvent the wheel as my sources are many. For instance Reah Norman is a fashion editor and blogger for plus-size women and her advice is usually appropriate for many of us out of our 20s. Reah shows us how to use this year’s fall fashions to create five fabulous outfits. Once you get a sense of how it’s done, create your own Look Book. Polyvore is a good place to start. Or follow your favorite style icons. To me, the styles of Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn were unbeatable. But this year we are seeing a return to the 90s fashions Kate Middleton 41 with Drew Barrymore and Kelly Bundy (Married with Children) being two excellent examples of the fashion of those times. But the most iconistic example of style in modern times is without a doubt Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, on both sides of the Atlantic. This woman has it all. What she wears is usually sold out in hours of the first photos appearing. And she takes it from the casual to the glamorous. You can follow Kate’s latest style on this blog and I have to tell you that her latest designer creation (silver gown) is nothing short of a knockout. Follow Kate and you can’t go wrong. She has become known too for her ability to look stylish on budget clothes so royalty or not, you can become your own style icon How to Choose and Use Shapewear By Rebecca Felsenthal Stewart WebMD Feature Shapewear can make you look slimmer and sleeker in a cocktail dress, work clothes, or jeans and a T-shirt. If you've tried it before, you might be in for a surprise. "In the beginning, shapewear used to be too tight and it would push the fat in the wrong way, which was just not flattering," says Los Angeles celebrity stylist Sophia Banks-Coloma. "I remember going on a date and thinking I had food poisoning because I was wearing bad shapewear. I had to remove it in the bathroom." As long as you wear it properly, shapewear should be relatively comfortable. "There are different levels. It can be ultra or light slimming," says Milena Joy, an image consultant in Denver. "You don't have to wear something that will totally change your shape. You can choose what spots, to target just your thighs, butt, stomach, or multiple areas." ...That is, if you know how to choose and use your shapewear, and know why it should never be too tight. Get the Right Fit Although you can buy shapewear online, it's worth it to go to a store to try on several brands and styles. If you're buying for a specific dress or outfit, bring it with you. A quick hip and waist measurement can help you make sure you're looking at the right size, Banks-Coloma says. Be realistic. You can count on shapewear to smooth out lumps and give you a sleeker silhouette. Going down a shapewear size, however, won't help you zip yourself into a smaller dress. "Women sometimes try to size down to add extra firmness," Joy says. "But that makes you look bigger because it can cause bulges, and it can be uncomfortable." 42 Too-tight shapewear may lead to health problems, says neurologist Orly Avitzur, MD, medical advisor for Consumer Reports. "Any time we put on really tight garments we take the risk of compressing organs or nerves." Avitzur says that in her practice, she has had patients complain of tingling and numbness in the front to outer thigh region, from hip to knee. Avitzur has traced the cause back to restrictive clothing like shapewear or skinny jeans. Some stars, such as actress Octavia Spencer and singer Adele, admit to layering pieces of shapewear for special occasions. "I've done two or three layers for an appearance or commercial," Banks-Coloma says. "Obviously it isn't comfortable, but it can be effective." That trend may be better left in Hollywood, Avitzur says. "Special events are meant to be enjoyed, and that's hard to do if your garments are squeezing you like a vise." Layering shapewear makes compressing nerves or organs more likely, she says. Not Only for Special Occasions You can wear shapewear to work, as long as it's not bothering you. "The benefit," Joy says, "is that it can help you feel more confident and it can boost your self-esteem." If you wear shapewear every day, pay close attention to how comfortable you are. "If you're afraid to go to the bathroom because your shapewear is difficult to remove, you might be putting yourself at risk of a UTI [urinary tract infection]," Avitzur says. If you are prone to bladder infections, yeast infections, or GI symptoms like reflux, wearing shapewear every day may not be such a good idea, Avitzur says. Pregnancy and Shapewear If you're pregnant, you might want to check with your doctor about whether you can use special maternity shapewear. It may actually help you feel better, says ob-gyn Laura E. Riley, MD, medical director of Labor and Delivery at Massachusetts General Hospital and author of You and Your Baby: Pregnancy. "Maternity shapewear is fine for women to wear daily if they are comfortable," Riley says. "It should help for women with varicose veins, which can be uncomfortable when standing, and it should provide support to lift the uterus off the cervix and ease pain [if the pelvis becomes misaligned]." As a neurologist, Avitzur says "pregnant women are already at risk for compressing a nerve in the abdomen if their belly is large." If you do wear shapewear while expecting, make sure getting it on and off isn't such a struggle that you put off urinating, as that can set you up for urinary tract infections. 43 Building a Shapewear Wardrobe "Start with the basics like a mid-thigh shaper, a slip dress, and then add something more specialized like underwear," Joy says. "You can build your shapewear wardrobe as you would build a regular wardrobe." For the most flexibility, look for pieces in a shade that's close to your skin tone. Some of Joy and Banks-Coloma's favorite pieces: Tights. This is a great place to start with shapewear, Banks-Coloma says. You can choose options that slim the whole leg, or the thighs, rear, hips, and waist. They smooth out panty lines, and there are butt-boosting styles. In the past, waste bands might have rolled over, but that shouldn't be an issue anymore, Banks-Coloma says. Full body suit with a chest cut-out. Body suits slim the hips and hold in the stomach, but they can also flatten your chest, like a sports bra. New styles have an open bust that actually lifts your breasts. (You wear it with a separate bra.) When you try on a body suit, make sure that the overall effect is smoothing and that it doesn't create bulges in new spots, like where the seam hits your thigh, Banks-Coloma says. If you're hoping to minimize a larger chest, choose a suit that covers it. If you think that shapewear will flatten your behind, you could try a butt-boosting style. Some come with padding, some use panels that lift your rear, and others have cut-outs. Camisole. "The number one spot women want to cover is their stomach," Joy says. If it looks like regular clothing, you can let it show. "A cami can also help smooth out muffin top (tuck it into your pants) and bra bulge on your back. Panties. Shapewear panties can help eliminate panty lines and slim down your thighs, hips, rear, and even your stomach. If you're looking for sleeker thighs, you can choose a boy short cut -- just make sure that the leg bands don't cut into your skin. If you're not looking for help in the thigh region, a brief cut can create a more seamless look, says Joy. To tighten your abdomen, choose a high-waisted style with a panel that covers the stomach. You can look for rearenhancing panties, too. Slip. If you're going to wear a slip under a dress, why not choose one with a little extra smoothing power? "I use slips on the red carpet all the time," Banks-Coloma says. A good slip can eliminate bulges and panty lines under thin or sheer dresses. Bring your dress into the store with you. There are many options for necklines and straps, and you want one that won't poke out of the dress, Joy says. If you're wearing a skirt, you can choose a half slip that starts at the waist (and pair it with a camisole, if you like). Mid-thigh shaper. These look like bicycle shorts that extend up to the waist (or higher) and can cinch your thighs, butt, hips, and abdomen. "If you have bulk on your thighs and not around your stomach you can get a short that comes up to the waist," Banks-Coloma says. "But if you have bulk all over, you should find one that comes up to just under the bust." 44 If you go too tight, the band on the top will roll over. "Be careful if you have a flat butt that the shaper doesn't make it look flatter," Joy says. If that's the case, look for a butt-boosting style. Finally, always do a "sit" test with your outfit, Joy says, so your shapewear doesn't peek out from under your clothes. Gender and the Body Language of Power by Lisa Wade, PhD, Philosopher Sandra Lee Bartky once observed that being feminine often means using one’s body to portray powerlessness. Consider: A feminine person keeps her body small and contained; she makes sure that it doesn’t take up to much space or impose itself. She walks and sits in tightly packaged ways. She doesn’t cover the breadth of the sidewalk or expand herself beyond the chair she occupies. Comic by A. Stiffler at Chaos Life. . Likewise, burping and farting, raising one’s voice in an argument, and even laughing loudly are considered distinctly unfeminine. A feminine person doesn’t use her body to forcefully interact with the world, she lets others do for her when possible. ”Massiveness, power, or abundance in a woman’s body is met with distaste,” Bartky wrote. Stunningly, when you think about it, these features of feminine body comportment are, in fact, not uniquely feminine, but associated with deference more generally. Bartky again: In groups of men, those with higher status typically assume looser and more relaxed postures; the boss lounges comfortably behind the desk while the applicant sits tense and rigid on the edge of his seat. Higher-status individuals may touch their subordinates more than they 45 themselves get touched; they initiate more eye contact and are smiled at by their inferiors more than they are observed to smile in return. What is announced in the comportment of superiors is confidence and ease… Acting feminine, then, overlaps with performances of submissiveness. Both men and women use their bodies in more feminine ways when their interacting with a superior, whether it be their boss, their commander, a police officer, or their professor. New evidence suggests that this is not pure theory. Psychologist Andy Yap and his colleagues tested whether “expansive body postures” like the ones associated with masculinity increase people’s sense of powerfulness and entitlement. They did. In laboratory experiments, people who were prompted to take up more space were more likely to steal, cheat, and violate traffic laws in a simulation. A sense of powerfulness, reported by the subjects, mediated the effect (a robust finding that others have documented as well). In a real world test of the theory, they found that large automobiles with greater internal space were more likely than small ones to be illegally parked in New York City. Research, then, has shown that expansive body postures that take up room instill a psychological sense of power and entitlement. The fact that this behavior is gendered may go some way towards explaining the persistence of gender inequality and, more pointedly, some men’s belief that they have earned their unearned privileges. Best coat for your body shape By Lauren Bernstein | Glamour Chilly days and nights are creeping up and your hunt for the perfect coat is on. Might as well be cute and flattering! If you’re plus-size… “I’m hourglass, and I love my shape. I like pairing a swingy, bright coat with neutrals like gray tights that make you look taller.” —Marina Bulatkina, 28 Embrace your curves with this fierce leopard coat. ASOS Curve Leopard Fur Coat, sizes 2-22, $124, asos.com 46 Even a bold blue is flattering in a clean cut. Old Navy Wool-Blend Mid-Length Coat, sizes 1X-4X, $54, oldnavy.com The secrets to allover print? Length and lines. Dorothy Perkins Black and White Boucle Coat, sizes 2-18, $77.20, dorothyperkins.com If you’re busty… “I’m a 28DD. I have a small frame but with ‘totters’ and a tush. I like big, baggy, comfy coats, but I put them on with skinny pants— otherwise I’d look like a box!” —Caitlin Marino, 23 Wrap dresses let you pick the fit. Same idea in this coat! Narciso Rodriguez for DesigNation, sizes 0-14, $130, kohls.com A swingy cut skims your curves. Talbots Plush Twill Coat, sizes 2-14, 0P-16P, 12W-22WP, $270, talbots.com 47 The cute flounce at the bottom balances your bust. Betsey Johnson Double Breasted Coat, sizes XS-XLRG, $200, betseyjohnson.com If you’re short-waisted… “I have a short torso and like to buy coats a size bigger than what I need so that I can layer big sweaters underneath. Sizing and how you tuck your clothes in can totally change your body.” –Josine Tence, 21 The buttons and fur stretch your torso. Liz Claiborne Cable Wool Coat, sizes S-XL, $90, jcpenney.com Above-the-waist toggles are flattering… Express Fur Trimmed Wool Blend Toggle Coat, sizes XS-L, in Navy or Pitch Black, $90, express.com …and the space between these ones lengthens you. Uniqlo, sizes XS-XL, $130, 877-486-4756 for stores…and the space between these ones lengthens you. Uniqlo, sizes XS-XL, $130, 877-486-4756 for stores 48 If you're slim... “My chest and bum are both small—I still have pants from when I was 13! A structured coat helps create curves. And a belt gives the illusion of a womanly figure.” –Jasmine Jones, 21 The leather trim here helps define your hour-glass. Bebe Coat, sizes XS-L, $189, bebe.com Clean, bright white adds curves everywhere. White House Black Market Double Breasted Belted Coat, sizes XXS-XL, $248, whbm.com 49 5 Best Shoes for Crossdressers and Transgender Women ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Lucille Sorella is a GG (genetic girl) who teaches crossdressers, transsexuals, and transgender females how to look, act, and feel like real women. Her goal is to help T-women express their inner and outer femininity and increase their confidence as women. She has a professional background in fashion, beauty, dance, and natural healing and has been working with the transgender community for the past 12 years. Her website is loaded with useful information and is located at http://www.flat2fem.com/index1.html . Are you as addicted to sexy shoes and boots as I am? The right pair of shoes can instantly transform the way you look, feel, and walk. Since shoes are so important to your feminine image, I’d like to share some tips on selecting the perfect shoes. Here are 5 shoes I believe should be part of every crossdresser and transgender woman’s wardrobe: 50 1. Classic black pumps Classic black pumps are the most versatile shoe style. They add a polished look to almost any outfit. For the most mileage, choose a closed-toe, full-back style. Worried about adding too much height? Try a short kitten heel. Even a 1” heel looks feminine and gives you enough lift to loosen up your hips as you walk. 2. D’Orsay pumps The d’Orsay is a pump style where the sides are cut away to reveal the arch of the foot. This is one of the most beautiful and elegant shoes styles. D’Orsay pumps are perfect for showing off shapely legs – an asset for most crossdressers and transgender women. 51 3. T-straps T-straps add a sexy touch to pumps, high heel sandals, and flats. T-straps have two advantages: The ankle strap offers extra support for your ankles, making it easier to walk in heels. The vertical line of the center strap balances the horizontal ankle strap and makes your legs look longer. (T-straps are much more flattering than ankle strap shoes.) 4. Wedges Wedges are another good choice if you have trouble walking in heels. The sole covers more ground, so they are easier to walk in. 52 Wedges tend to look casual, but you can also find elegant wedges for the evening. Since wedges have a chunky look, they are best for girls with thin legs. Stay away from them if you have large or muscular legs. 5. Knee high boots Boots are sexy and sassy, so they are a wardrobe must. Choose knee high boots for the most elegant look. Knee high boots are more flattering than ankle boots or boots that hit the middle of the calf. The higher the boot leg and heel, the more slimming they are. Where can you find shoes your size? Obviously, most crossdressers and transgender women have bigger feet and it can be difficult to find shoes in large sizes. Note: When converting your shoe size, remember to add 2 sizes to your U.S. men’s size to get your U.S. women’s size. (For example, if you wear an 8 in men’s shoes, you are a 10 in women’s shoes.) Here are 3 great sources for large size women’s shoes: BarefootTess.com (Barefoot Tess specializes in shoes size 10-15.) Zappos.com (Zappos carries heels up to a size 16.) Nordstrom.com (Nordstrom is the best source for fashionable shoes up to a size 14.) 53 In Concert David DeAlba Tribute to Judy Garland Sunday November 24th 2013 2:00pm Onyx Theater Commercial Center Las Vegas Nv. 54 The Gossip Fence Transgender in the News Kaiser Permanente now covering transgender services in plans Kaiser Permanente will now cover services for transgender Coloradans in its insurance plans, the company said. "Kaiser Permanente is committed to reducing health disparities and providing culturally competent care to all of our patients," the HMO said in a statement. " In March, the Colorado Division of Insurance issued a directive reminding insurers that it is against state law to discriminate based on sexual orientation, including those who are transgender. After that directive, Kaiser began reviewing its policies on transgender services, the company stated. Kaiser Permanente joins only the Colorado HealthOP cooperative insurance plan as the only insurers covering transgender health care, according to One Colorado, an advocacy group for the states lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender residents. Kaiser said, "For patients with a diagnosis of gender dysphoria in plans that are under Colorado Division of Insurance oversight, coverage includes many medical services, including behavioral health, medical testing, hormone therapy for members who have a drug benefit, and transgender surgery. General exclusions and limitations that apply to all services also apply to transgender services." Trans couple make history as first to marry after both having gender reassignment surgery A British couple from the city of Hull have made history, becoming the first married couple to have both transitioned, one from male to female and the other from female to male. Helen and Felix Fenlon became Britain’s first married couple to have both gone through gender reassignment surgery, after being together for six years. Despite the happy ending for the married couple, they both spoke of the torment they faced whilst transitioning. Speaking of having been attacked, Mrs Fenlon said she “couldn’t go out without being verbally abused.” “For years, that continued. In the end I just stood up to them,” she continued. 55 On why the couple decided to go public, Mrs Fenlon said: “We want to show a successful outcome to other trans people, and show that there is a life beyond all of the discrimination”. Felix had two children before transitioning, and Helen had eight. One of Helen’s sons walked her down the aisle, and the Daily Mail reported that Felix’s hands shook as he placed the ring on her finger. Tiny Ky. town sees windfall after banning anti-LGBT discrimination VICCO, Ky. — Eight months after this tiny Appalachian town took a stand against gay-based discrimination, it’s basking in a flurry of attention and even an infusion of much-needed cash. All that hoopla has its openly gay mayor dreaming of reviving a place that had long seemed past its prime. Out-of-towners occasionally venture well off the interstate to make the trek to Vicco, a fading coal town of about 330 residents where an aging row of buildings lines one side of the blocklong downtown. Railroad tracks run along the other side, though trains rarely pass by anymore. Visitors pose for pictures in front of the Mayberry-like city hall or shake hands with Mayor Johnny Cummings, 51, a chain-smoking hair salon operator who grew up in the town, spent some time living on both coasts, and then returned home. Perhaps even more welcome since passing the ordinance: a potential financial windfall for the cash-strapped town that has seen its population steadily decline. The town, about 130 miles southeast of Lexington, made national headlines when three of four commissioners voted in January to pass the ordinance, which prohibits discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity in employment, housing and public accommodations. City leaders said at the time they simply thought it was the right thing to do, and today marvel at the attention that has followed. After passage, letters of support poured in from across the country, along with a handful of letters condemning the ordinance, the mayor said. Money was tucked into some of the supportive letters, mostly in the range of $25 donations. A pastor from New England sent $40 to buy a round of beers for locals who appeared in a segment about Vicco by Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report.” A few other supporters are digging much deeper to show appreciation for the town’s action. A mother and son in California pledged to buy all the new playground equipment for a city park, a project that could reach $90,000, Cummings said. He declined to identify them, but said the gift would greatly expand what was going to be a modest new playground. The town had scraped together enough money to buy a couple of swing sets and a see-saw, he said. The town is applying for an $80,000 grant from a private, out-of-state company that encouraged the application, he said. A company representative reached out to town leaders after hearing about the ordinance, Cummings said. The money would be used to rehab buildings and the sidewalks in the downtown area. 56 All together, the pledges and grant applications amount to more than $200,000, approaching Vicco’s annual budget of about $300,000, Cummings said. Still, the town has only a tiny fraction of that money in hand. Vicco City Commissioner Jimmy Slone, who voted for the ordinance, said he hopes the attention restores some vitality to the town. “It was a dead town, but it’s looking up,” he said. So far, no cases have come up to trigger enforcement of Vicco’s ordinance, the mayor said. One landlord worried the ordinance would prevent her from evicting people who fail to pay rent. Cummings said he reassured her that she could evict them. Whitman-Walker Submits Discrimination Evidence to HHS Whitman-Walker Health (WWH ), the local community health center specializing in LGBTsensitive care and HIV/AIDS, has submitted evidence of extensive anti-LGBT discrimination in health care to the Office for Civil Rights (OCR) at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) in an effort to combat the problem. Whitman-Walker submitted the comments Sept. 30 in response to a general OCR request for such information, which the office plans to use to counter anti-LGBT discrimination under the Affordable Care Act (ACA), also known as Obamacare. Under the ACA, no health care provider or institution receiving federal funds, nor health insurance plan operating under the ACA or administered by the federal government, is allowed to discriminate on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age or disability. As part of its response to OCR, Whitman-Walker documented widespread discrimination by health insurers, hospitals, clinics, nursing homes and other health centers against people because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Most of that discrimination was aimed at transgender people, though lesbians, gays and bisexuals were all represented in the evidence. Such instances of discrimination may include the refusal of health plans to cover same-sex spouses, the refusal of health plans to cover health needs of transgender people, the failure of hospitals and health care centers to allow visitation rights to same-sex partners, and even the refusal to treat LGBT patients in physical distress, as well as hostile attitudes or inappropriate comments by health care professionals. 53 Percent of Marylanders Could Benefit from Expanded State Civil Rights Law Maryland would benefit from a consistent, state-wide law that protects against gender identity discrimination Amending Maryland’s civil rights law to explicitly prohibit discrimination based on gender identity would extend protections to an estimated 53 percent of Maryland’s population, including approximately 9,200 transgender people, according to a Williams Institute study 57 authored by Reid Rasmussen Fellow of Law and Policy, Christy Mallory. “This study highlights that the majority of Marylanders would benefit from a consistent, state-wide law that protects against gender identity discrimination,” said Mallory. “Additionally, a clear and uniform policy could also benefit businesses by eliminating the inconsistency of existing protections in the state.” Currently, gender identity discrimination protections in Maryland are extended through four local ordinances (in Baltimore City, Baltimore County, Howard County, and Montgomery County) that are inconsistent, and, in some cases, provide more limited remedies than Maryland’s state non-discrimination laws. A gubernatorial executive order that applies only to state employees also exists. Anti-transgender effort prompts Manteca teen to file AG complaint Ashton Lee — a 16-year-old Manteca High student at the vanguard of the successful effort to secure transgender rights in California public schools — is now making sure those trying to repeal the new law play fair. Ashton and his mother Catherine Lee filed a complaint with the California Attorney General’s Office contending that the Capitol Resources Institute has been operating illegally. The organization caught Ashton’s attention as it is leading the effort to get Assembly Bill 1266 signed into law in August by Gov. Jerry Brown from taking effect Jan. 1. The CRI is also trying to gather 505,000 registered voters’ signatures for a 2014 ballot measure to block transgender rights in public schools as secured by the new law. Ashton’s complaint stems from an IRS action in February that revoked the CRI’s tax-exempt status. The organization had failed to provide mandated financial information for three straight years. The CRI has since indicated they are tax-exempt as they collect contributions to further its objectives including placing a measure to stop transgender rights in public schools on the statewide ballot. Ashton had delivered a petition with 5,700 signatures to the governor urging him to sign the law. “After years of failing to defeat other LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) nondiscrimination protections, it is sad that these fringe groups are using their resources — illegally — to target vulnerable students,” said John O’Connor, Executive Director of Equality California in a press release on Wednesday. “It is an inspiration to see that Ashton is not so vulnerable and has taken great initiative to organize and take action with his heroically supportive mother.” “We are so proud to see Ashton, a young person who legally and honestly fought for the opportunity to succeed in school, stand up to these fringe groups who have lied to the public in their attempt to bully him and transgender students across the state,” said Carolyn Laub, Executive Director of Gay-Straight Alliance Network. Funding Sex Reassignment for Veterans The Department of Veteran Affairs still does not provide coverage for the surgery—a treatment 58 that standards say is “medically necessary” for some. Transgender veterans can get transition-related health care at medical centers and outpatient clinics run by the VA: Hormone therapy, mental health care, routine health screenings, pre-operative evaluation, and post-operative care — everything but the actual operations. In June 2011, the Veterans Health Administration (VHA) clarified VA policy on transgender health care with a four-page directive. Although it didn’t create any new benefits, the directive affirmed that transgender patients would receive all care included in the VA’s medical benefits package, as do other veterans, without discrimination and “regardless of sex or sex reassignment status.” In February 2013, the VHA reiterated this directive and expanded the content to 13 pages. “The goal of the directive is to ensure that we’re all working toward the same goal, which is to provide high-quality care to transgender vets, including cross-sex hormones, psychological evaluation, and post-surgical recovery,” said Dr. Jillian Shipherd, who helped draft the directive and is co-coordinator of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender program for patient care services for the VA. The directive states, “VA does not provide sex reassignment surgery or plastic reconstructive surgery for strictly cosmetic purposes.” It cites federal regulations that say medical benefits for veterans do not include “gender alterations” but does not explicitly define sex reassignment surgery as “cosmetic.” This policy functions as an absolute ban. The Department of Health and Human Services has also banned Medicare and Medicaid coverage for sex reassignment surgery in a determination that came into force in 1981 and has not been reviewed in the 32 years since, though a recent administrative challenge calls it outdated and discriminatory. Despite the unavailability of surgery, transgender veterans have access to more care today than was available in the past. The AMA has noted that transgender health care involves services usually covered for other diagnoses, like mastectomy, breast reconstruction, hysterectomy, and other reconstructive surgeries. According to the AMA, denying otherwise covered benefits “represents discrimination based solely on a patient’s gender identity.” Low Estrogen May Play A Role In 'Male Menopause' TV ads tout testosterone treatments for "low T," but surprising new research shows a different hormone may play a role in less sex drive and more fat as men age. Estrogen — the female hormone — is needed by men, too, and the study gives the first clear evidence that too little of it can cause certain "male menopause" symptoms. "A lot of things we think are due to testosterone deficiency are actually related to the estrogen deficiency that accompanies it," said Dr. Joel Finkelstein of Massachusetts General Hospital. He led the U.S.-government funded study, which appears in Thursday's New England Journal of Medicine. 59 Testosterone is the main male sex hormone. Men's bodies convert some of it into estrogen, and levels of both decline with age. Until now, there was no way to tell which hormone was responsible for complaints of diminished libido, strength and energy. The study didn't test hormones as therapy, but explored which ones had which effects. It involved 400 healthy male volunteers, ages 20 to 50, who were given monthly shots of a drug to temporarily reduce their testosterone production to pre-puberty levels. They were then given various doses of testosterone gel or a dummy gel to use. Half also were given another drug to prevent testosterone's conversion into estrogen. Designing the study this way allowed researchers to compare the effects of different levels of each hormone on things like strength and body composition. After 16 weeks, researchers saw that muscle size and strength depended on testosterone, body-fat mass depended on estrogen, and both hormones were needed to maintain normal sex drive and performance. The new study was too short to see long-term benefits or risks, such as the effect of testosterone supplements on the heart, mental sharpness, prostate enlargement or cancer. Also, abruptly and artificially depriving men of testosterone the way the study did may not be the same as when it falls off naturally and gradually over time. New Gender Clinic opens at Healthy Communities Brisbane’s new Gender Clinic opened at Healthy Communities in Teneriffe this morning. The weekly clinic will open on Wednesdays and clients will be bulk-billed by Dr Gale Bearman, who is the state’s leading GP on transgender health. Dr Gale Bearman spoke of the particularly difficult obstacles facing her trans clients, but also spoke of society’s changing attitude towards trans people. “It’s a shame that just as society is on the cusp of change, everything is defunded – it’s appalling,” she said. The Gender Clinic will open on Wednesdays and appointments are now being taken (call Wednesdays only) on (07) 3017 1777. HUD files lawsuit on behalf of Seven Points trans woman and partner The Department of Housing and Urban Development has filed a lawsuit on behalf of Roxanne Joganik and Darlina Anthony against George Toone, the owner of an RV park in Athens. HUD gives these reasons as the legal basis for the suit in the court document: 1. It is unlawful to discriminate against any person in the terms, conditions, or privileges of sale or rental of a dwelling, or in the provision of services or facilities in connection therewith, because of sex. 2. It is unlawful to coerce, intimidate, threaten, or interfere with any person in the exercise or enjoyment of, or on account of his having exercised or enjoyed, or on account of his having 60 aided or encouraged any other person in the exercise or enjoyment of, any right granted or protected by section 804 of the Act. HUD alleges a number of housing discrimination charges but some are specific to the transgender community: • prohibiting someone from dressing as a female in the park violates federal fair housing laws. • requests that the park rules be amended to include protections against sex discrimination were denied. • park rules included a rule that “Management reserves the right to refuse entrance to the R.V. park to any person for any reason other than for reasons based on race, religion, handicapped, color or national origin.” This rule should include sex or familial status, protected classes under the Fair Housing Act. • park owner did not want complainant to wear female clothing in the park because there are children around the pool and it is “not the type of atmosphere we want to promote on private property.” Mr. Toone would rather not have transgender persons in the common areas of the park. Calif. governor Jerry Brown signs transgender birth certificate bill SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Gov. Jerry Brown has signed a bill designed to make it easier for transgender Californians to obtain birth certificates reflecting name and gender changes. Currently, people born in California can only get their birth certificates amended by court order, a process that transgender rights advocates argued is expensive and needlessly invasive since a legal notice of the requested changes has to be published in a newspaper. The bill the governor signed, AB1121 by San Diego Assemblywoman Toni Atkins, authorizes the state registrar to issue a birth certificate with a corrected sex to a transgender person who provides proof of having undergone appropriate medical treatment. AB 1121 will allow individuals to bypass the court and apply directly to the Office of Vital Records to amend a birth certificate. That will both streamline individuals’ access to corrected birth certificates and reduce the caseloads of overwhelmed courts. The bill would also make the name change process more private and affordable for transgender people, exempting them from the requirement that a person pay to publish a notice of the intended name change in the local newspaper for four weeks. Transgender name changes made easier by new law Sacramento -- The public and costly process for transgender people to legally change the name and gender on their California birth certificate will be streamlined under a law Gov. Jerry Brown signed Tuesday. AB1121 by Assemblywoman Toni Atkins, D-San Diego, allows a transgender person to change the name on their birth certificate without a hearing in open court or publishing their request in a newspaper. Court-ordered name changes are a prerequisite for changing other documents, such as driver's licenses. The process for changing a gender marker on a birth certificate will be an administrative 61 process requiring a doctor's note indicating the person has undergone a gender transition. VICTORY! CA Gov. Jerry Brown Signs TRUST Act We are thrilled to announce that California Governor Jerry Brown has signed the TRUST Act, which was re-introduced this year. The law will prevent police from turning in many nonviolent inmates to deportation officials. Transgender people, especially transgender women of color, report extraordinarily high rates of police harassment putting them at greater risk for deportation and creating mistrust between the community, which is in great need of protection from hate crimes and violence, and local law enforcement. Many participants of our Transgender Leadership Summit educated lawmakers about the importance of the reforms in the TRUST Act. «The TRUST Act, sponsored by State Assembly Member Tom Ammiano, addresses how California law enforcement agencies implement the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s Secure Communities, or S-Comm, program. S-Comm actions currently affect people with no criminal history, sweeping them into immigration proceedings and tearing families apart. The TRUST Act would refocus S-Comm enforcement actions on the deportation of the most dangerous and violent offenders, as was the original stated intent of the program. Instead, as currently implemented, S-Comm actions have resulted in the arrest and detention of immigrants for minor traffic infractions and interfered with the ability of law enforcement agencies to focus on serious crime. Current S-Comm enforcement policies exacerbate distrust and suspicion between law enforcement and immigrant communities. The TRUST Act would adjust implementation of S-Comm across California communities and restore the critical level of trust between police officers and community residents necessary for effective law enforcement and protecting public safety.» Call for Transgender Veterans to Participate in an Educational Program for the Veteran's Health Administration ST. LOUIS - Calling all transgender veterans! The Office of Patient Care Services from veteran’s Health Administration is looking for 3-4 transgender veterans to appear in an educational program for VA clinical staff on providing excellent, culturally appropriate health care to transgender veterans. According to The Office of Patient Care Services from Veteran’s Health Administration, “We are looking for a diverse group of Veterans of different ages, ethnicities, gender, and branch of military service. Participation will involve providing first-person accounts of lived experience and perhaps role-playing a VA patient with an actor-clinician on video.” Auditions and recordings will be held at the St. Louis Employee Education Resource Center VA Medical Center, Bldg. # 48 in St. Louis. Auditions and casting are scheduled for Monday, 62 December 2nd beginning 8:00-11:00 am and 12:00-2:00 pm. Video recording is planned for Monday, December 2nd 2:00-4:30 pm with additional video recordings scheduled for Tuesday, December 3rd from 9:00 am-4:30 pm. Participation in the project is purely voluntary and those who are interested in auditioning can contact Elizabeth Bowling at (314) 894-6540 with questions or concerns. What’s in the ACA for Transgender People? For thousands of transgender people around the country, the wait is over for health coverage that is more accessible, affordable, and comprehensive than before. Too many trans people still live without any health insurance at all – and many are now eligible for free or low-cost coverage through their state health insurance marketplace. So what do the new marketplace plans cover? The marketplace insurance plans will cover several broad categories of benefits, including doctor’s visits, preventive care, hospitalization, prescriptions, mental health and substance use disorder services, emergency services, and maternity, newborn, and pediatric care. Unfortunately, most plans still have unfair exclusions regarding transition-related care and deny coverage for transition-related surgeries. In California, Colorado, Oregon, Vermont, and D.C., however, new rules are in place to eliminate many transition-related exclusions, and we expect to see more states join this trend in the coming years. Many people will be able to secure highly subsidized or even free health coverage through the new healthcare marketplace. To avoid problems when being evaluated for a subsidy, it is important that transgender applicants carefully answer the first question on the healthcare.gov website <https://www.healthcare.gov/> above, which can be a troublesome question for many: “What is your gender: M or F?” On this question, trans applicants should select the gender marker that is listed in their Social Security Administration record. This is only used to match an applicant’s information against tax records for subsidy eligibility: no physician will see the gender marker indicated on that application. In addition, the ACA’s new rules prohibit insurance companies from discriminating based on this information, such as by denying services that are generally covered by your plan but are typically associated with a different gender than the one listed for you. Last but not least, healthcare will also be more affordable for those who now qualify for Medicaid. Because of the Affordable Care Act’s reforms, 26 states are expanding Medicaid so that more people can be eligible for the program. You can learn if your state is participating in the Medicaid expansion here <https://www.healthcare.gov/what-if-my-state-is-not-expandingmedicaid/> . While you may have heard about a penalty being applied to those who don’t get coverage, very few people will actually pay the penalty. If you already get coverage through an employer, Medicaid, Medicare, the Veterans Administration, or another program, or if you cannot afford 63 to buy coverage despite the available subsidies, you will be exempt from the penalty. There are protections against discrimination Finally, the Affordable Care Act and its implementing rules prohibit plans from discriminating on the basis of sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity. They also prohibit discrimination by many health care providers, such as doctors, hospitals, and clinics. Unfortunately, the new rules have not yet been interpreted to mean that discrimination includes denying someone transitionrelated surgery. However, transgender people who have experienced discrimination in insurance enrollment, coverage, or services can file a complaint <http://transequality.org/Resources/ HealthCareRight_UpdatedAug2012_FINAL.pdf> that the Department of Health and Human Services will investigate. Trans legal Trans attorney Katie Sprinkle knows what it’s like to face legal challenges specific to the transgender community. That’s why she’s offered to hold a free monthly legal clinic for Resource Center’s transgender GEAR program. Several years ago, Sprinkle was in line to pay at a department store. She was presenting as female but still carried identification that indicated male. When she handed her credit card to the 18-year-old at the register, the clerk asked for identification. Sprinkle said her ID at the time “had this horrendous male picture.” The clerk looked at the credit card, looked at Sprinkle, picked up the phone and said in a loud voice, “It’s dressed as a woman but all its IDs are male.” The line behind her was getting longer and those in the next line turned to see what was going on. Later, she sent an email to the store manager and district manager. The apology she received noted the clerk was no longer employed by the store. “That’s one of the fears of being transgender,” Sprinkle said. “Not having your identification information match you.” Many trans people simply use cash so they don’t have to pay using a credit card and show ID, she said. Earlier in October, Sprinkle began a legal clinic to deal with the variety of issues transgender people face. Those range from name and gender marker changes to divorce, child custody, employment or even criminal charges relating to gender identity. Because unemployment and underemployment are huge issues in the trans community, many can’t afford to hire an attorney. At the first legal clinic, she talked to people about several name changes, employment issues and custody. Sprinkle isn’t promising miracles, but said in some cases legal representation can help. But there are legal limitations and companies get away with discrimination all the time. Her friend Leslie McMurray offered a good example. McMurray was the on-air voice of one of the Dallas area’s top-rated radio stations. When she began her transition last year, she was promptly dropped from the station. The station manager told her they were going in a different direction, even though the other stations owned by that broadcast group all had lower ratings than hers. 64 McMurray then faced additional problems. Her ID didn’t match her presentation and to apply to stations in different markets, she needed to travel. “Try going through TSA without proper ID,” she said. In Texas, getting a name change is fairly easy but filing a gender marker change is harder. Sprinkle said many judges in Dallas County will do both, although some won’t. A name change is filed in family court, which is usually sympathetic, but a gender marker change is filed in civil district court. A sympathetic judge who happened to like Sprinkle helped her. “My driver’s license said Kathleen but had an ‘M’ on it,” Sprinkle said. “The judge didn’t even know that a driver’s license had sex on it.” But when he realized how inconvenient that was, he changed her legal gender and she was able to have her driver’s license changed. One of Sprinkle’s goals with the legal clinic is to get rid of bad information that’s out there. She said many people think it’s impossible to change gender markers in Texas. It is possible. Sprinkle said Texas actually doesn’t have a law on gender markers, just bad opinions by the attorney general. Many think they have to file name changes and gender marker changes separately. They don’t. When filed together, the case goes into the civil district court. Other legal concerns may seem common but may have special implications for someone who’s transitioning. A lot of people divorce, but Sprinkle said it’s not uncommon for a spouse to use blackmail as a form of retaliation, threatening to out the trans partner to an employer or family. While many custody cases are decided against a spouse who has come out as gay or lesbian, more and more judges especially in urban areas are discounting that as a reason to deny custody. But trans parents are usually painted as unfit or worse in court and often are denied even visitation rights. Many judges don’t understand what transgender means and insist the parent only visit dressed as the birth sex. Sprinkle can’t guarantee success, but can certainly help with legal hurdles. “Criminal history can affect a name change,” she said. GEAR coordinator Blair High said the new legal clinic — along with the health clinic — is one of the most important things they’ve offered since GEAR began in 2005. Sprinkle hopes her experience will help a number of people with their transitions. She said something as simple as a name change that they want to file themselves can be even easier when someone hands them the correct form and tells them where to file it. She said she’ll be offering forms and advice without charge at the new legal clinic but will be available to retain for those with ongoing proceedings. GEAR legal clinic is held the first Wednesday of the month at Resource Center. To make an appointment, call 214-540-4498. 65 Pat Robertson Likens Transgender People to Geldings Reacting to the passage of a transgender rights law in California, the antigay televangelist expressed incredulity about the LGBT community's influence and talked about the gelding of his stallion. Pat Robertson expressed both outrage and ignorance on transgender rights issues in his response to a new law that protects transgender students in California. The antigay televangelist compared a transgender person to his "big and beautiful" stallion that had been castrated. "Now, we talk about transgender. I have a former stallion who is now a gelding, because stallions get very aggressive," Robertson said on a 700 Club segment Tuesday. "But he wasn’t trying to be a girl. We just made him into a less aggressive male." Reacting to the passage of AB 1266, which ensures California transgender students access to the public school activities and facilities, like restrooms and locker rooms, that correspond to their gender identity, Robertson also railed against the influence of LGBT people in the spheres of politics and law. "It’s a tiny fringe, but they seem to have control of the levers of power in the media and especially in Hollywood," he said. "But it’s insane. I just cannot believe that the normal people in America, the people who want to just live their lives can’t be allowed to do it without having this stuff imposed on them constantly." Republican leaders also announced their opposition to the law this week. Amnesty seeking to interview trans people on rights violations Amnesty International will be in Ireland to research for their European project on Human Rights Violations of Trans People. Amnesty are seeking to interview individuals who would like to seek legal gender recognition and who have experienced problems because of the legislative gaps in Ireland. (Due to the parameters of the research, interviews will take place in the Republic of Ireland.) The interviews will be carried out during the week commencing Monday 21 October. All gender identifications are welcome, and all ages. They will hold some interviews in Dublin, but would like to include people from across the country. They can cover some travel expenses to Dublin, or may be able to travel to the interviewee. If you are interested in please contact Ashling Seely at [email protected] Downloads Project Overview and Consent Form <http://www.teni.ie/attachments/64febecf-5751-44e9-a3f0-74246014fae6.DOC 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 Mi s De s No nis v e D embe eM r a nn 74 November 2013 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30