eee ee ee - Wessex Scene

The Edge’s new dance team
blast the dance-drugs myths
Dear Beryl: I’m in love
...with Karl Kennedy!
SCENE
e
wessex e
8th December 2005
News
Southampton
student
radio victory
at national
awards
Priceless
e
e
e
e
e
Fights Blight
Features
Christmas:
Is it really all
it’s cracked
up to
be?
Music
Exclusive!
Interview
with top
band, Mew
Gaming
The Edge’s
latest
foray into
entertainment
Kinki Night
Laura Fewell
Trouble brewed at the Cube
at a recent Kinki club night when
two incidents of violence in one
night resulted in arrests.
On Friday 18th December police were called to the 1600-capacity venue on a night in which
two serious fights broke out in a
matter of hours.
The first incident happened
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around half-past midnight when
a reveller attempted to claim his
coat from the cloakroom without a ticket. The young man, a
guest of a Southampton University student, told cloakroom
staff that he had lost his ticket
but demanded they give him his
coat without it. SUSU’s cloakroom policy states that no coats
can be returned without a valid
ticket and staff informed the
young man that he would have
to wait until the end of the night
when all other coats had been
collected by ticket holders.
At this point both the young
man and his friend, a third-year
student studying Biological Sciences, became abusive. They
demanded that the coat be returned and issued threats to stab
the two cloakroom attendants.
The Events Manager, Darryll
Low, intervened in an effort to
calm the situation. He sought to
overrule the policy in order to
retrieve the coat and allow the
men to leave the premises. However, when he asked the Southampton University student, who
the Wessex Scene cannot identify due to legal reasons, to hand
over his student ID card, he was
also subjected to a torrent of
continued on page 2
www.wessexscene.co.uk
News
Page 2
continued from page 1
abuse. The student grabbed at
the key chain wrapped round
the Events Manager’s fingers,
and on being told to stop pulling, the student lunged for Darryll’s neck.
Security staff were radioed
to provide immediate assistance
and proceeded to evict the aggressors from the venue. Whilst
ejecting the pair, the student
head-butted a member of the
door staff and continued issuing threats to stab the bouncers
and allegedly threatened to kill
them.
In an interview with the
Wessex Scene the Southampton student told our reporter:
“I would never stab anybody or
even threaten to stab someone.”
He claimed to have no recollection of the evening’s events, but
then admitted that he had been
drunk and had become angry
when his student card was taken
from him.
The police are continuing to
investigate the event.
Christmas time, vodka, beer and wine
Hayley Dixon
Southampton City Council
has joined forces with the police in a new campaign to ensure revellers keep safe over the
Christmas period.
From 6 December, posters and flyers will be rolled out
across the city to warn against
the dangers of drinking and to
provide tips to encourage people to stay safe. The campaign
addresses a multitude of problems associated with drinking,
for example knowing your limits
and practicing safe sex.
It aims to help party-goers by
giving reasonable advice that
should remind people who may
otherwise get caught up in the
Christmas cheer to pace their
drinking, never drink and drive
and other such common sense
advice that all too easily becomes just hazy a memory after
a few too many. The leaflets that
will be distributed also contain
some useful numbers, in case
things do go wrong.
In conjunction with the campaign, Southampton Safe City
Partnership are running the
Nightbus from Bargate between
12.30am and 3.30am on Fridays
and Saturdays. Costing from just
£2, they are a good way of getting home safely. The routes of
these buses will be distributed
with the “helpful hints” publicity that the Council has put together for
the campaign.
While
everyone may
think they
already
know all
the consequences
of drinking too
much, the
Council
feel that
it doesn’t
hurt to be
reminded
that ‘fun’
can have
its dangers
and
consequences, and alcohol does
impair judgement.
Roger Honey, Community
Safety Manager at Southampton City Council, says, “It is
important that people can go
out in Southampton and have a
good night, but they also need
to be aware of the dangers [associated with] drinking. The idea
of the campaign is to ensure that
individuals are protecting themselves and are not getting into
precarious situations.”
The efforts of the Council coincide with a nationwide
NUS campaign encouraging students to
think about their
alcohol consumption in light of
NHS guidelines
on drinking.
Student bars
at 53 universities,
including the Southampton Solent
University, have
already been bombarded with promotional material such as beer
mats, posters, stickers and
messages on pint glasses,
while staff wearing T-shirts
promoting safe drinking will
serve punters.
The message is not that students should stop having fun,
just that people should drink responsibly, by not, for example,
drinking on an empty stomach.
Other top tips for a safe night
out include substituting an alcoholic beverage with a soft drink
periodically throughout the
night .
So with the campaign for
responsible drinking mounting
both nationally and locally, what
is SUSU doing to make sure that
its students are safe and aware?
Vice President Welfare, Peter
Derrick, told the Wessex Scene,
“The Students’ Union and all
within the Welfare department
are committed to ensure that
students get the message about
responsible drinking and the
harm that can come to them
when under the influence.”
SUSU are constantly running campaigns to ensure that
students are safe, aware and
responsible. Freshers are welcomed with talks that encourage
responsible drinking, and a ‘pace
yourself’ free water campaigns
are run at The Cube. These efforts are set to continue with an
anti-drink spiking campaign and
a possible pub theatre production to show people just how
stupid they look when drunk.
For more information about
the dangers of drinking and advice on how to avoid them visit
www.drinkaware.co.uk.
Oblivious to all the trouble...
Further fighting at Kinki
In the second incident of the
night, an altercation broke out
between five students and resulted in four arrests. The fight
was started after one student
stumbled into another, spilling a pint in the process. The
owner of the spilled beer, along
with three of his friends, began
throwing punches as the argument turned violent. It has been
suggested that there may have
been a racist motivation behind
the fight, but the Wessex Scene
has been unable to substantiate
these claims.
The students were detained
while the police were called. The
four friends were arrested and
have been charged with actual
bodily harm.
The Students’ Union has reacted to the incidents by banning those students involved. As
a result of the revoking of membership, the students may no
longer set foot on the premises
or be members of any SUSU-affiliated clubs or societies.
‘The Cultural Capital of the South’
New Arts Complex for Southampton city
Joanna Miles
An exciting new venture looks
set to place the city of Southampton as a cultural heavyweight in
the UK arts world. The merging
of four artistic mediums - visual
art, theatre, film and music - under one roof seems an obvious
yet smart idea.
Four partner organisations,
including Art Asia, City Eye,
The new £14 million complex
The Performing Arts Organisation and The John Hansard
Gallery, will be joining to comprise the new complex, which
will be based on the site of the
old department store Tyrell and
Green.
A staggering £5.75 million has
been awarded to the scheme by
the Arts Council, alongside contributions from the University of
Southampton and Southampton City Council. These donations will be a great help to the
project, which will be the second
largest temporary exhibition in
the UK, the cost an estimated
£14 million.
Although costly, it is indisputable that the people of
Southampton will benefit from
the complex. Adrian Vinson
ofSouthampton Council com-
mented, “This is simply fantastic
news for the city. This will bring
great opportunities for citizens
and visitors alike and reaffirms
Southampton as the cultural
capital of the South.”
The University of Southampton’s John Hansard Gallery will
benefit in particular from this
development as it moves into
what has been described as the
city’s cultural quarter. The University’s Secretary and Registrar,
John Lauwerys, remarks: “I am
delighted that the John Hansard
Gallery will be able to move to a
prime city centre location in the
new complex - the first time the
University has had a base in the
heart of the city since its forerunner, the Hartley Institution,
moved from Below Bar to Highfield in 1919.”
For Southampton students,
this new cultural development
may mean a night out at the
theatre instead of a night of excessive drinking at Ikon Diva. Yet
whether the entertainment that
will be on offer at the complex,
which is set for completion in
2008, will surpass that of Leisure
World remains to be seen…
See editorial page 9
Second largest exhibition in UK
News
Surging To Victory
www.wessexscene.co.uk
News in
Brief
Laura Fewell
Southampton
University’s
student radio station, Surge, is
celebrating after scooping two
prestigious awards at a national
awards ceremony in London.
The station had been nominated for an incredible five
awards at the Student Radio
Awards 2005, jointly hosted by
the Student Radio Association
and BBC Radio One.
Best Newcomer was awarded
to Nick Bevan, a twenty year old
History student who impressed
the judges with his natural and
fresh sound. He said: “Working
at Surge has been an absolute
blast and I’m just so delighted to
receive this award doing what I
enjoy the most.”
Surge’s News Team picked up
Best News & Talk. The judging
panel, comprised of industry experts, was particularly impressed
with their investigative journalism and attempts to engage
young people in politics during
the general election campaign.
But does James, who is Head
of Surge News, and also a reporter on the Wessex Scene,
see himself as the next Jeremy
Paxman? “I don’t think so - Jer-
Simon Cable
Students Do Their Bit...
James Laidler (centre) and his team scooped three prestigious awards at the ceremony
emy Paxman is a bit too scary!
What makes Surge special is our
determination to make news accessible to people who perhaps
otherwise wouldn’t follow it,”
he says.
The remaining three nominations were for Best Male (Alex
Duffy), Best Off-Air Promotions,
and Best Technical Achievement
(Nick Humfrey), a category in
which Surge scooped silver for
at last year’s ceremony.
This is the latest in a series of
positive events for the station,
which recently unveiled its new
state-of-the-art studios after
SUSU invested £20,000 in fullyintegrating Surge into the Union
following their purchase of the
station from Glen Eyre Halls.
The DJs and production teams
are also about to start work on
their latest project, ‘Surge Aid’
when the station’s team, full of
festive cheer, will cover a famous
song. The project was first run
last year, when the team recorded a cover of Band Aid II, and
received a rapturous response.
The Wessex Scene refuses to
reveal the name of the track being covered this year (nah-nah!)
so be sure to tune in to Surge
1287am or listen online at www.
surgeradio.co.uk to hear it.
An end to public smoking?
Peter Lamb
Southampton University’s Students’ Union took the first steps
towards becoming a smoke-free
institution, when, in November,
the Union Management Board
(UMB) decided on a trial partial smoking ban. The ban will
prohibit smoking on Level 2 of
The Cube and the dance floor.
It will not, however, affect the
Level 3 bar or the Bridge, and at
this point there are no plans to
extend the policy to the Stag’s
Head.
This policy reflects a nationwide increase in anti-smoking
feeling. As the Department of
Health states its intention to
raise the minimum age to buy
tobacco from 16 to 18 years,
the Health Bill going through
the Commons is seen by many
to be the first step in what may
well be a total ban on smoking
in public places. The Bill bans
smoking in enclosed or partially
The Cube is trialing a ban on smoking in certain areas
enclosed areas, with the exception of certain licensed premises
which are not serving food, and
private members’ clubs. It has
been speculated that the law will
have a direct effect on the future
of socialising for students. However, the law will not technically
affect the Students’ Union, the
bar facilities of which are restricted to Union members, is
classing the venue as a private
members’ club.
Some opponents of the trial
ban have suggested that it may
have a considerable impact on
the Union’s bar sales, by persuading large numbers of smokers to
find alternative premises where
they can smoke. But proposers
have countered the argument
by claiming that this is only a
partial ban and that smokers can
still use other areas of nightclub
to smoke should they wish, so it
may well be that the financial effect is rather a minimal one.
Whether or not the trial leads
to a permanent ban or is rescinded will depend on a combination
of factors. The members of Union Management Board will decide what further action to take
by looking at a combination of
impact on the sales figures, the
health risks of smoking and secondary smoking and the student
body’s view on the matter.
It is clear that, ultimately,
the decision will come down to
whether smokers are a more
powerful lobbying group than
those who would rather have a
smoke-free night.
700 red balloons were released
on Thursday, 1 December to
mark World AIDS Day. The Students Stop AIDS Society and
Vice President Welfare joined
forces to put on the spectacular
display and draw the attention
of Southampton students to the
plight of AIDS sufferers across
the globe. Each balloon had a
tag with the Union’s address and
the indentity of the person who
bought it attached to the string,
and was sold for £1. It is hoped
the people who find the balloons will send them back to the
Union. The owner of the balloon
that travels the furthest wins a
prize.
Karl Goes Down Under
Neighbours star Alan Fletcher
visited The Cube on Saturday,
3 December for the Australianthemed Down Under club night.
He chatted with students and
signed autographs for fans before announcing the winner of a
free trip to Australia given away
by the Students’ Union Travel
Centre. For information on deals
offered by the Travel Centre visit
http://travel.susu.org/ or pop in
to their office just above the Union Shop and speak with one of
their specialist advisors.
Mountbatten Fire Latest
Work is already underway to
rebuild the Electronics and Computer Science Department and
Optoelectronics Research Centre that was devastated by fire
four weeks ago. In a statement
released last week, the ViceChancellor praised the efforts of
everyone in ECS and the ORC as
well as nearby departments such
as those based in the facing Murray Building. The Mountbatten
and Zepler Buildings have been
cordoned off to allow progress
to be made on the clearing of
the site to enable the rebuilding
project to begin.
News
Page 4
Solent University turned inside out
Richard Pemberton
Southampton Solent University, as reported in the last
Wessex Scene, was the subject
of a recent BBC South TV documentary Inside Out, broadcast
on 31 October. The documentary used hidden camera footage
to capture evidence of the operation of a ‘positive pass policy’
in its Film Studies Department,
leaving Solent with much work
to do to restore confidence in its
assessment standards. The fallout from this documentary has
been to demoralise many Solent
students and leave them questioning the integrity of their new
university.
Positive passing is a marking system whereby the mark
awarded to a student’s work is
inflated in order to raise it from a
fail to a pass, and has long been
suspected of being in operation
at some UK universities and colleges.
The hidden cameras used by
the BBC at Southampton Solent University showed Dr Karen
Randell, in charge of Film Stud-
ies at Solent, admitting that 25%
of her students should not be at
university, and denigrating some
of their work as “crap” and “illiterate.”
Dr Randell said that she would
be “challenged from the top” if
she failed a student.
Jennifer Toynbee-Holmes, a
senior tutor, noted that “If we
didn’t care about how many
students we had and how many
dropped out, we would mark
very differently” referring to the
loss of £4500 of government
subsidy universities suffer for
each student who leaves.
Southampton Solent refused
to talk to the BBC’s Inside Out
team, and an inquiry from the
Wessex Scene resulted in only
a pre-released statement by Robyn Mills, the Solent spokesman,
noting that they “have rigorous
systems for setting and checking the academic standards on
[their] courses.”
He went on to say that Solent
remain confident that the standards they set are those expected of the university sector as a
whole. However the University’s
press office would not answer
more detailed questions on the
matter, only making the assurance that a full investigation was
carried out and that they believe
that the problem lies not with
Southampton Solent University’s standards, but those of the
BBC’s Inside Out programme.
Some Solent students have
been left doubting the value of
their degrees and feeling unhappy with the members of staff
shown in the documentary. They
have criticised Solent’s management for remaining quiet on the
Inside Out issue, only making a
few statements and appearing
to do little to publicly counteract
the criticism.
One Solent student contacted
by the Wessex Scene stated that
Solent students have “all been
told [they] aren’t allowed to talk
to the press about it, even if it
is for a positive article” and that
staff members had advised students against writing anything
about the Inside Out documentary.
However critics of the Inside
Out programme have suggest-
Solent University officials remain confident in standards
ed that producers would have
preferentially showed instances
of positive passing and poor
academic standards over more
positive aspects. This and the
way that Inside Out infiltrated
the supposedly private process
of Solent’s marking, were the
root of much anger amongst the
Solent students that the Wessex
Scene interviewed.
It has been suggested that the
evidence recorded by Inside Out
is the end result of the govern-
ment’s reforms of higher education. By aiming to get 50% of
students into higher education
while simultaneously cutting
levels of relative funding per
student (hence Top Up Fees) the
government has created a commercial market for higher education in which universities operate
a service in return for revenue.
This is compounded by the
need of many young people to
get a degree just to be able to
compete in the workplace.
Students cheating to the top
Sam Devoil
Plagiarism! Every student attempting to write an essay has
the word ringing in their ears. It
provokes the same fear in everyone whether you’re a first year
or you’re writing your dissertation. However, although it is a
standard university policy across
the country to highlight the consequences of cheating, thousands of students throughout
the country have been found
guilty of ignoring advice and
plagiarising their coursework,
with almost 100 being excluded
from their degrees just last year.
Under a Freedom of Information request carried out three
months ago, Britain’s universities revealed 6672 incidents of
plagiarism in the 2003-04 academic year. Last year at Westminster University, 707 students
were found to have copied work
without acknowledging their
sources. Uproar was caused by
the suggestion that students of
all academic stages are turning
to the internet in order to buy
their way to a higher grade.
“The availability of the internet is a powerful aid to learning,
but carries a new generation of
risks of plagiarism,” declared
Ken Boston, Chief Executive of
the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority. “It can even be
as simple as typing a phrase into
Google,” suggests Professor
Jean Underwood of Nottingham
Trent University. “One method
that has been used is translating
phrases in papers into a different language and then back into
English with a translation tool,”
she added.
Added to these findings, the
Assessment and Qualifications
Alliance Board has declared that
many teachers have given students so much help that it has
amounted to mass plagiarism,
making it hard for examiners to
tell candidates apart. The style
and vocabulary of some pieces
of writing had been so mark-
edly different from the rest of
the candidate’s work that they
had wondered how the teacher
failed to challenge it. Moderators at exam board AQA have
declared that “Often … several paragraphs beginning with
exactly the same sentences …
would be arranged in identical
order,” and have warned teachers that anyone caught cheating
would be reported and in some
cases disqualified.
Professor Underwood argues:
“If a parent helps their child to
carry out an efficient internet
search, I personally do not see
anything wrong in that … but
downloading five papers from
the internet would be a borderline crossed.”
Earlier this year, Edexcel investigated claims by an Art
teacher at Eton that even Prince
Harry had received “inappropriate help” in his Art A level.
However, Daphne West, Head
Teacher of The Maynard School
in Exeter, has argued that it now
Britain’s universities revealed 6672 incidents of plagiarism
seems a student’s work cannot
be considered genuine “unless
it is written up under controlled
conditions.”
The government has recognised the growing concern of
plagiarism and will put down
guidelines around February of
next year. Meanwhile, Edexcel
and the Joint Council for Qualifications said they were working with the Plagiarism Advisory
Service with a view to rolling out
plagiarism detection software.
Professor Underwood, however,
believes that tackling the firms
selling these essays online would
not necessarily restrict students
from accessing the sites, as
hackers could still make them
available for sale.
“The internet,” Professor Underwood maintains “is a wonderful thing with the power to
change lives, but there will always be a down side.”
News
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Job Prospects Improving For Graduates
Owain Bury
The latest survey from the
Graduate Prospects, the Government’s Higher Education Careers
Advisory Service, has reported
that job prospects for recent
graduates are improving.
6.1% of UK students completing university in 2004 were unemployed six months after graduating. Although this still seems
a large percentage, it is 0.5%
lower than the previous year’s
survey. Graduate Prospects also
stated that the percentage going
into further studying or training
has increased too.
The average salary for university leavers is reputed to have
risen by 3.9% to £17,029, although this figure has strong regional variation.
The Government hopes the
survey may persuade young
people that the expenses of taking a degree are worthwhile.
Charlotte Rose graduated
from Southampton University
in 2005 with a Masters in Environmental Science. She told the
Wessex Scene of her struggles
to get into the career she would
like: “Most posts require several
years of experience and/or a
postgraduate qualification.”
The survey reporters, however, stressed it was important
to remember that “graduates
do need time to settle down in
the labour market and initial underemployment is not a reliable
indicator of longer term career
outcomes.” Ms Rose also commented that “The Careers Advisory Service is extremely useful
for most subjects, except, it appears, Environmental Science.”
13.7% of graduates from Environmental Science continued to
train or study a further related
degree in the UK in 2004.
Students need to be more
aware of the vast variations between subject in the ease of access to employment, and average pay-scale after graduating.
Maths and Computer Science
degrees were found to offer the
greatest increase in lifetime earnings for male graduates, while a
degree in Education gives the
While prospects are improving, success is still largely dependent on ‘hands-on’ experience
highest income for women. The
report also noted that destinations for Arts and Creative Arts
students are more uncertain, the
job sector related to these being
Hoodies Banned
Ashlegh Toll
The war against the ‘hoodie‘
is set to continue after Imperial College, London, announced
that students and staff will no
longer be able to wear hooded
tops, veils, or any garments
which conceal the wearer’s identity, around the campus.
The College’s Management
Board approved the new dress
code at the beginning of the
month, and asked that “Employees and students ... refrain from
wearing clothing which obscures
the face, such as a full or half veil,
or hooded tops or scarves worn
across the face.” The regulations are part of renewed efforts
to increase security around the
campus following the London
bombings during the summer,
and are also aimed at combating
theft and the presence of animal rights activists. The College
says it wants staff, students and
visitors not to be “dressed in a
manner which makes individuals
unrecognisable.”
Earlier this year, in an attempt to combat antisocial behaviour, managers at the Bluewater Shopping Centre in Kent
introduced a controversial ban
on hoodies and any other clothing which obscures the face and
prevents problem youths being
identified on CCTV. The ‘zero
tolerance approach to intimidating conduct’ was issued after
shoppers complained that gangs
of teenagers had been behaving
badly.
Imperial’s new regulations
have been criticised by students
at the college who feel that the
ban is “an infringement on freedom.” They are planning on
fighting the new regulations and
to vote on a motion that would
allow hoodies and all religious
dress. Sarah Khatib, the Deputy
President of the Students’ Union, said: ‘People have happily
accepted the fact that there is
increased security and they have
to wear their swipe cards. But
they aren’t happy about the
hoodies.”
Students are also claiming
that the statement issued by the
college is ambiguous on the status of religious clothing. “Students should not have to seek
permission to wear any religious
item.”
However, the college has stated that it has no plans to restrict
students from wearing clothes
which are part of their religious
identity. “If the college’s dress
code produces a conflict with an
individual’s religious belief, the
individual’s line manager or the
student’s supervisor will, with
the aim of finding a satisfactory compromise, sympathetically consider the issue.” The
college spokesperson said that,
where security concerns arise,
this could mean asking the indicidual wearing the face-covering
clothes to identify themselves
to a female member of staff,
and that despite the wording of
the code, people would only be
asked to remove a hooded top
if the hood was obscuring their
face.
extremely competitive.
Carl Gilleard, Chief Executive
of the Association of Graduate
Recruiters, says in the report: “In
addition to working hard and
getting a good degree, students
should engage in extra curricular
activities and obtain work experience ... students need to market themselves to employers.“
Arts
Page 6
Art and Culture
Looking at art and culture in and around Southampton University
The opera comes to town
The Welsh
National Opera
brings Rossini’s
The Barber Of
Seville to The Mayflower
“Opera? Em. Hmm. Yeh, actually, I might leave that. But
thanks though!” The almost reflex response to being offered a
free ticket to the opera, it seems
(the only exceptions being those
that didn’t even wait to hear the
free ticket was for the opera before turning it down.) So, on 30
November, braving the largely
‘mature’ crowd struggling up
steps and flailing walking sticks
like blunt swords, I headed to
The Mayflower, alone, for a
night at the opera.
And what an opera! The Barber of Seville is based on Frenchman Beaumarchais’ play. It was
written by the prolific Italian
composer Rossini who penned
the opera in 1816 at the age of
23, just as he was coming to the
end of his comic opera career.
Little Art Tip
When trying to draw faces, and as
many don’t realise, the eyes should go
right in the middle of the head.
Concerned less with love and
love-lost than with money and
rapacious desire, Barber is a very
amusing opera. Not the sort of
comedy where you only laugh
because you don’t want others
to think you don’t understand
the joke, but genuinely laughout-loud funny. Part of this is,
of course, due to director Giles
Havergal, whose 1986 production has been revived here by
the WNO, and part due to Robert Macdonald, who translated
the opera into English; references to rubbish “modern music” from the elderly, lecherous,
excellently-played Bartolo (Eric
Roberts) abounded, as did some
dubious, distinctly Irish colloquialisms (Bartolo’s declaring of another man “divil”, for instance).
Andrew Schroeder also stood
out among an excellent cast as
a particularly camp Figaro (as
in, Fi-ga-ro), and Daniel Sumegi
played Basilio to a T.
The only real criticism of the
piece was the volume. A balance
between orchestra and singer
had not been reached and often
one could not hear the singers at
all. This is unfortunate as crucial
moments and jokes’ punch lines
were often, and of course, accompanied by crescendos from
the orchestra; these pivotal and
funny moments were thus lost
to the audience. The storm near
the climax of the piece was also
unimaginatively rendered. Finally, despite at several points finding it particularly hard to avoid
as the tunes are so catchy, one
gets the feeling that toe-tapping
at the opera would be frowned
upon. Annoying.
Despite these criticisms, the
opera was really rather excellent;
the costume and set lavishly realising 17th Century Spain and
the singing beautifully conveying the funny, if absurd, story.
The WNO is bringing Puccini’s Tosca to The Mayflower in
June with works by Mozart and
Tchaikovsky also.
Review by Gareth Hynes.
Listings
Little Art Tip
Check out the two vending machines
around campus for original art pieces at
only £2 a go. Present, anyone?
The Wessex Scene takes a goosey gander at what’s going on in the run up to Christmas
box office 023 8067 1771
box office 023 8059 5151
box office 023 8071 1811
information 023 8059 2158
information 023 8031 9916
The Wizard of Oz
various times, until 7 january 2006
information to the right
£10-15 (£2 off for students)
Following the adventures of Dorothy
and Toto this show was originally adapted for the RSC and features all the film’s
most popular songs.
Beethoven Piano Sonatas Cycle
thursday 8 december, 8pm
Paul Lewis’ complete Beethoven cycle
£17.50 (students £9)
Double Image - a lunchtime concert
monday 12 december, 12.50pm
instrumental recitals
free
Santa Clause the Musical
various times, until 15 january 2006
information to the right
£15-30 (students £10, selected performances)
From the producer of Chitty Chitty Bang
Bang, this new musical comedy takes in
dancing penguins, a flying sleigh and
polar bears in top hats!! One for kids.
King Tat by Shaun Doyle & Mally Mallinson
until 15 january 2006, tue - fri 11-5pm,
sat 11-4pm information to the right
free
Inspired by the 1924 display of Tutankhamen’s tomb, King Tat is a humorous response to the West’s fascination
with reality culture and death.
Ventilation by Victoria Melody
until 17 December 2006, mon 1-5pm, tue/
wed/fri 10-4pm, thur 10-7pm, sat 12-4pm
free
Trying to find solutions to the world’s
anger problems through black humour
and irony, Melody has filmed herself and
the public freely venting their anger.
Please note that all listings are, of course, indicative and subject to change. Please contact individual venues directly.
Politics
www.wessexscene.co.uk
‘Compassionate Conservatism’
Laurence Olding
As the sun sets on Michael
Howard’s brief sojourn as leader
of the Conservative Party, it becomes clear that in the time in
which the dust has been settling
from the general election, a period of sober reflection, fermentation of ideas and a reappraisal of
what it means to be a Conservative has been taking place in Her
Majesty’s Opposition.
Now this period is over. David
Cameron takes power after a remarkably open and public leadership contest that has raised his
profile from unknown to recognised public figure. It is an opportunity for the Conservatives
under Cameron to realign themselves as a party worthy of the
electorate, a party ‘of the many,
not the few’ and indeed a party
that offers the whole electorate
something tangible. Cameron’s
first job will be to shake off the
nasty party image that has long
dogged the Conservatives. If he
fails to do this, the party will remain in the doldrums still.
Cameron’s
Conservatives
must embrace a ‘modern’ or
‘compassionate’ conservativism
that is more than just a soundbite. Conservatism cannot continue to be a byword for backward looking, bigoted views and
inequality. This is not what the
party stands for in the 21st century and Cameron must make
inroads into removing this stereotype. “Damn your principles!
Stick to your party”, Benjamin
Disraeli, the 19th Century Conservative Prime Minister and son
of immigrants, famously stated,
yet Mr Cameron has plenty
of leeway to be compassionate without compromising his
party affiliation, contrary to the
oft-heard views of critics who
have dismissed him as another
Blair. Cameron must move away
from the Tories’ obsession with
populist, ‘core’ vote policies and
soundbites that do nothing more
than switch off huge sections of
the electorate - including students, ethnic minorities, lower
and lower-middle class groups
and public sector workers - whilst
at the same time not compromising the support of the core Tory
voters. Fundamentally, many of
these aggrieved sections agree
with the hard working, low tax
and small government policies
which the Conservatives have
put forward at successive elections. The problem is in the perception of the party as backward
looking and bigoted, something
that Conservatives have foolishly perpetuated in recent years
with ill-thought out and badly
stage-managed
campaigns,
such as the controlled immigration pledge of the previous election that became immediately
tarnished by comparisons with
the far right’s policies.
Between the main parties
there is a consensus to improve
public services and there is ideologically much in common between government and opposition in terms of their end goals.
It is in their approach to reform
that Conservatives have their
best chance of winning back
power at the next election. In an
increasingly tolerant and compassionate world, a party which
places its needs above those of
others will not be elected.
The Conservative Party must
demonstrate that it is the party
that will continue to reform public services whilst saving money,
decreasing bureaucracy and addressing the failures of the current government. It must continue to show itself as open to ideas
– as the many debates between
the two leadership candidates
have already shown – without
abandoning its ideological conservatism, a balance that if David
Cameron can achieve will ensure
the connection of the party with
the populace of the UK.
David Davis’ backers have
criticised the youthfulness and
lack of political experience that
Cameron has. If we are to quote
Disraeli once more: “The secret
of success in life is for a man
to be ready for his opportunity
when it comes.” Whether the
younger David’s opportunity is
now, only time will tell.
Laurence was the Wessex
Scene Societies and Politics Editor, 2004/2005.
was debated in Union Council
on 14 November, dealt with the
issue of how Top Up Fees should
be spent and the possibility of
a strike by staff union AUT if a
third of fees were not spent on a
pay increase for University staff.
The motion, which proposed
not backing a strike, was put
forward by President Andy Wilson who explained that it was
the role of the Union to represent the interests of students.
While expressing his sympathy
for Academic Staff, he said that
fees should be spent on improvements for students and that any
AUT strike would be contrary to
students’ interests, especially if it
were held in the crucial January
exam period.
Yet the motion did not go unopposed; the new Cultural Diversity Officer and LGB Officer
both spoke against the Motion
and invoked Procedural Motion
F, allowing a representative from
the AUT to speak to the Council.
Despite a lengthy speech - dealing with the reasons for a strike,
the risk of University cuts to the
SUSU budget and the need for
unity between Unions, students
and lecturers - the Union Council voted overwhelmingly against
the motion.
Such a decision is unlikely to
have any effect on whether or
not the AUT strikes, but it clearly sends out the message that
SUSU acts to represent student
interests and if the AUT decides
to strike during the exam period
it will be they who are breaking
the comradeship of unions.
But the debate over representaton and the purpose of
SUSU is far from finished. A new
motion is being proposed for the
next Union Council which aims
to reform the composition of the
Council and redefine the role of
VP Communications. It appears
that the radicalisation of Southampton’s Union politics is only
just getting started.
Motions of dissent in Union Council
Peter Lamb
A mere cursory glance at
SUSU forums serves to illustrate
that something has changed
in Union politics since the start
of the year. A new debate has
arisen which goes to the very
heart of what it means to be a
Students’ Union and what it is to
be a representative of this.
The pivotal point of this debate was Motion 6, along which
battle lines were drawn. It was
A new middle party for a new Middle East
Linden Talbot
A surprising turn has been taken in recent weeks, one which,
not to put too fine a point on it,
might change the face of Middle-Eastern politics forever.
Ariel Sharon, the Israeli Prime
Minister, has left the Likud Party
- a party he helped to create - in
order to form a new centrist party which represents the direction
he feels Israel should take.
It would be too easy to think
of Kilroy-Silk’s attempt to form
his own political vehicle, Veritas, and view Sharon’s party as
doomed from the start. Howev-
er, this fails to take in the wider
view of Israeli democracy and
politics. Israel is a new state, the
metal is still hot and so new additions to the political forge remain possible.
The split was motivated by
the growing dissent over Prime
Minister Sharon’s recent conversion to pragmatic politics in the
Middle-East, perhaps best characterised by the withdrawing of
Israeli settlements from the Gaza
Strip earlier this year.
Indeed, it is no small matter that the new party is to be
named the Kadima party, meaning ‘forward‘ in Hebrew. Al-
ready there has been a significant number of conversions to
the new party, with five cabinet
ministers joining the ranks. Ariel
Sharon’s long-term rival, Shimon
Peres, is also defecting, this time
from the other main Israeli party,
the Labour Party.
The split was also provoked
by the Labour Party leader Amir
Peretz’s attempts to take ground
from the Prime Minister with
policies which would also tackle
the West Bank, backed up by
various left-wing domestic proposals. This would suggest that
Mr Sharon’s pragmatism goes
beyond just doing what is right
for Israel to doing what is best
for himself as well.
Mr Sharon’s history is hardly
a clean one. He performed retaliatory military acts against civilians during the Arab-Israeli war
and masterminded the horrific
Israeli invasion of the Lebanon.
Indeed, Sharon’s politics appear
to be designed to keep himself
and the Israeli State in the most
dominant position possible regardless of the human cost.
The Israeli President, Moshe
Kasav, has dissolved the parliament forcing elections to be held
some time around March 2006.
It seems likely that the Forward
Party will take a significant
number of seats as loyalty to the
Prime Minister comes into play
and the progressive agenda remains popular. The new Labour
Party agenda should similarly
gain support, forcing Likud into
withdrawal.
Yet this is anything but a foregone conclusion; if there is any
significant threat of terrorism or
violence against the Israeli State
between now and the election,
Likud’s rejectionist agenda will
regain support. Likud has been
injured, but it may now become
all the more dangerous because
of it.
Letters
Page 8
Letters
Dear Editor,
I love the Wessex Scene and
am really keen to write for you
but do I need to have experience? And should I send you
articles or will give me a title to
work on?
James Stephens,
PS I really love Beryl by the
way!
[There are many ways you can
get involved with the Wessex
Scene, depending on what interests you. People get involved
in all sorts of ways, from finding
stories for other writers to writing articles themselves. And the
search than clicking the mouse
over the Guardian website. We
want people who aren’t afraid
of a telephone or actually (shock
horror!) talking to someone in
person to get the facts. We welcome contributions from everyone and anyone, but if you have
that spark we will see it and help
you nuture your talent.
Remember, the world of journalism is cut throat and this is
the perfect way to practise getting it right so you can impress
those at the top already.
We’re also always on the look
out for photographers, proof
readers and anyone else who
can think they can see a way to
fit in to our happy tapestry, too.
If you would like to get involved
in one of these ways, just email
[email protected] and
we’ll definitely get back to you.
PS Beryl says she loves you
too.]
team isn’t confined to writers:
we have students taking photographs, coming up with ideas,
interviewing people, proofing or
just making the rest of the team
cups of tea (and if you can do
this well it’s usually a sign you’ll
make a good Editor - it’s what
I spend a lot of my time doing.
That, and screaming at the Mac
a lot...)
If you would like to be a
writer, your first point of contact with the paper should be
the Section Editors (see mugshots below.) And the way that
you write articles will depend
on which section you would like
to write for. Some editors will
sometimes have article ideas
already and they will commission a writer from our budding
enthusiasts. Others are looking
for people with the investigative
skills and nose for a story that allows them to approach the editors with a story idea - the news
team in particular are looking for
motivated individuals who have
what it takes to write interesting stories that require more re-
Dear Sir,
Following recent discussions
on the the SUSU website fo-
rums, I am writing to express my
interest in the Students’ Union’s
stance on smoking in the Cube
on club nights.
Clearly health is a big issue.
With students spending an increasing amount of time in bars
their exposure to smoke is on the
increase, and there is considerable evidence of the health risks
of secondary smoking. In representing the interests of students,
the Union will need to act at
some level in the interests of its
members’ health. But the Union
must take care not to nanny its
members, all of whom are more
then capable of making health
decisions for themselves.
Peter Lamb
Dear Editor,
I was really pleased to see
the return of Devil’s Advocate
last issue. I have been a Wessex
Scene reader for four years and
was saddened when this feature
suddenly stopped appearing last
year. I thoroughly enjoy a good
Have you got an opinion to share? Read one of our articles and want to tell us what you think?
We want your views, thoughts, ideas... so send your letters to [email protected]
The Wessex Scene Team
Editor-in-Chief
Laura Fewell
Editor
Gareth Hynes
News Editor
Robbie Breen
News Editor
Paul Lenihan
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
Features Editor
Mike Anderson
Features Editor
Craig Williams
Societies Editor
Peter Lamb
Sports Editor
Alex Hayes
[email protected]
[email protected]
Deadline for submissions for next issue: 1st Jan 2006
[email protected]
[email protected]
(although this does vary with each section so email the editors directly)
Wessex Scene
Highfield
Southampton
SO17 1BJ
Advertising queries
Ben Fishlock
023 8059 5486
[email protected]
The Wessex Scene is available in other formats: [email protected]
argument and look forward to
the next one!
L. Coales
Dear Editor,
Thank you for the comprehensive reporting shown by
the Wessex Scene in your last
issue with the coverage of the
fire at the Mountbatten Building. A friend of mine who is a
postgraduate student based in
this building was initially struck
by sheer despair at the disaster
and unsure what she was going
to do next to keep on track with
her research. Thankfully, the
University and staff in ECS have
been incredibly supportive of
all students who lost their work
and she is now looking at this as
an opportunity to make a fresh
start in her studies. Thank you
for raising the plight of these
students to the general student
body who has been largely unaffected.
Name witheld by request
Next Issue Out:
Thursday 19th January 2006
Merry Christmas!
Comment
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Gareth Hynes
The news that Southampton is to have a massive new
Arts Complex, as we report on
page 2, should be welcomed.
With work due for completion
in 2008, these will be exciting
times for artists, local residents
and students alike.
Part of a proposed £1 billion development of the city
centre (which, if the plans are
ever re-established after collapsing earlier this month, will
be the largest development
project in the UK outside the
London 2012 Olympics), the
impressive-looking complex
will consist of two landmark
towers backing onto East Park,
just adjacent to Southampton
Guildhall. Its completion should
herald the emergence of a Cultural Quarter for Southampton.
With the Millais Gallery, the
City Art Gallery, The Mayflower
and Southampton Guildhall all
within easy walking distance,
a host of cafés and restaurants
are likely to move in giving the
city centre a real atmospheric
buzz - especially at nights, as
people wander from gallery to
restaurant to the theatre or a
concert. And the concentration
of such a diverse group of artists in one area will no doubt
encourage collaboration and
artistic development, something
that can only be beneficial to
the city.
Certainly the future for
Southampton’s art scene is
looking bright. In fact, the only
real downside to the scheme
is that the majority of the current student population won’t
be here to see it come to life,
which is a real shame. But ultimately, the increase in national
prestige that this development
will bring to Southampton will
actually serve us, its future
graduates, well.
Questions do need to be
asked, however, over whether
the venues moving to the new
complex will be let slide in the
years before the move because
photograph: Asseal Architecture (c)
A real chance for the Arts to
thrive in Southampton
Artist’s impression of the new arts complex
of the new development. Just
before the Wessex Scene went
to print, the John Hansard Gallery - one of the major partners,
currently based on campus
- assured the Wessex Scene
that this will not be allowed to
happen; they cannot afford to
jeopardise their long-nurtured
international reputation.
Even though many of us will
not get the chance to enjoy the
benefits that this development
will bring to the region, we will
certainly benefit from its knockon effects as Southampton increases its standings among the
cities of the UK.
Alcohol: what good is it?
Paul Lenihan
“I spent a lot of money on
booze, women and fast cars,
the rest I just wasted!”
- George Best.
For the average student,
propping up the non-league
of the financial standings, a
mantra of “booze, books and
fast-food” is perhaps more
recognisable. A world away
from the glitz and glamour of
public life, alcohol still offers
some sparkle to the dreary life
of a discerning student. Many
off us long to be Freshers
again, when dissertations
and assessed practicals were
distant phenomena, and a
raging hangover was the
only guaranteed product of
a ‘reading week’. But the
luxury of having every night
as a possible going out night
soon wanes, and time off is
soon something that has to
be scheduled between the
demands of degree work. As
such, nights off become a
rarity that must be managed
effectively to ensure enjoyment,
with alcohol commonly utilised
for attaining this goal.
We play games to
accompany our drinking. We
mix drinks, down them and
even set them on fire to cover
the essentially monotonous task
of consuming large quantities of
liquid. The ensuing toilet visits
become more like a relay race
between friends, while chair
legs and low ceilings prove
increasingly difficult obstacles
to elude.
And why do we do it? We
all know why we do it! There is
absolutely nothing to say on the
“drink aids in
our wilful selfdeception, convincing us that
the incoherent
babbling was
merely a disguised charm
and wit”
matter that hasn’t been heard a
hundred times before. Alcohol
numbs our inhibitions; we
are free do and say whatever
we want without fear of the
repercussions. By the morning,
booze becomes the ultimate
get-out clause, the great
justifier for all our ill-thought
out actions. The “I was drunk”
line is inscribed upon the
monument to the night before.
In the evening, as the
blinding headache and stomach
seizures subside, we have a
chance to reflect and even
perhaps to pity the unlucky
Italians, the foolish French,
whose more controlled drinking
style means they can offer no
other excuse than their own
inadequacy as to why they
went home single last night.
But for the student, who
wakes to find he never got as
far as taking off his shoes the
previous night, the answer is
simple: “I was too drunk.” It
implies that they could have
succeeded, had not the alcohol
intervened so emphatically.
Drink aids in our wilful selfdeception, convincing us that
the incoherent babbling was
merely a disguised charm and
wit that could have swept the
ladies off their feet, if it had
only been given the chance.
Our pride remains in tact, and
we are left to cherish the hazy
memories that drive us on to
repeat the scenario at the next
opportunity
The anti-drinking campaign
does not patronise, it simply
asks students to consider their
own drinking habits and drink
responsibly in order to remain
safe as they enjoy the holiday
period.
WSX
Page 10
Editorial
Season’s Greetings
Jolly Old Saint
Nicholas Brown
Mike Anderson
Merry Christmas one and all!
Christmas is a time for celebrating all the good things in life and
at WSX Features like to think
we’re one of them. Go on, celebrate us! We have an inconceivably delightful Christmas edition
for you. You won’t believe the
treats we have in store.
Once upon a time, a young
man wrote to Santa Claus himself, the big man in the sleigh,
asking for help, not thinking he
would spare some of his magic
for a meagre rodent like him…
but Santa replied! He felt so
lucky, and now so should you,
dear readers, as I have rustled
up copies of this correspondence
for your enjoyment.
If you are like me and find
Christmas cheer a bit too cheerful, we have advice on ‘How to
Scrooge’, and even some nonChristmas related writing which
is always a joy. JK Rowling’s publisher talks; dyslexia and poverty
are discussed in depth; Beryl
offers good advice. Who needs
presents when you have us?
Hope all your Christmases slip
by as innocuously and pain-free
as possible.
Lotsa Xmas Love, Mike 5.
To those of us who follow
the western calendar, otherwise
known as ‘the calendar’, it’s at
this time that we start to celebrate that most joyous of seasons. The nights draw in, there’s
a chill in the air and an excitement so palpable you could cut
it with a spoon. So on behalf of
everyone here at the Wessex
Scene I’d like to wish you a
Merry Christmas. Let’s hope it’s
a snowy Christmas! Unless you
live in the Southern hemisphere
in which case I wish you a hot
and summery Christmas.
Of course, not everyone celebrates Christmas in the same
way, and I salute these differences in the name of multiculturalism. To those in the Czech
Republic, I hope you have a
wonderful _t_dr_ den (openhanded day). Remember to fast
all day otherwise you won’t see
the golden pig, kids!
And let’s hope that Ded Moroz (Grandfather Frost) and his
assistant Snegurochka (Snow
Maiden) are able to travel to the
homes of Eastern European children with the help of their magical troika (horse-drawn sleigh).
A very Froehliche Weihnachten to our German friends. I
hope that the Weihnachtsmann
or Christkind (who may or may
not represent baby Jesus) bring
you plenty of lovely gifts. And
an equally Hyvaa Joulua to
those in Finland, eagerly awaiting the arrival of Joulupukki (the
Yule Goat).
Feliz Navidad to those in
Mexico, who will be celebrating the nine day Posadas festival. Have fun with those whacky
piñatas. To those in the Phillipines, Maligayan Pasko, and we
hope your Christmas Eve queso
de bola (ball of cheese) is most
satisfying.
But, let us not so hastily forget
that not everyone does or can
celebrate Christmas. Other religions have festivals around the
same time, often celebrations
of light or of the winter solstice.
Some groups also celebrate secular festivals. In Taiwan, Christmas is not officially celebrated.
However, December 25th has a
very different meaning here, so I
wish them a Merry Anniversary
of the Date of the Signing of the
Constitution of the Republic of
China Day. To those in China I
wish a most Joyous Dong Zhi
(Extreme of Winter) and hope
you enjoy your tasty Tong Yuen
(rice balls).
Of course, to those of the
Jewish faith we wish a Happy
Hanukkah. To those of mixed
faith who celebrate both the
victory of religious Jews against
non-Jewish assimilation and the
perceived fulfilment of Judaism
by the arrival of the prophesised
messiah (or you watch The OC)
a Cheery Chrismukkah. On a TV
related note, Happy Festivus to
all Seinfeld viewers out there. I
hope you have a cathartic Airing
of Grievances.
To those who celebrate the
African quasi-religious seven
day festival of Kwanzaa (meaning ‘first fruits’, invented in 1966
by a California State Long Beach
professor Dr Maulana Karenga) I
hope you have an Affirming and
Culturally Beneficial Kwanzaa. I
also wish a Reasonable and Rational Human Light festival to
the humanists among us on De-
cember 23rd. As it’s not just Jesus’ birthday but Issac Newton’s
too, I wish those who celebrate
it a Thought-Provoking Newtonmas.
To those who still celebrate
the winter solstice through the
pagan celebration of Yule, we
look forward to the birth of the
new sun god and the death of
the Holly God at the hands of
the Oak God. Some of you out
there may still celebrate the oldest winter festival – the Mesopotamian Zagmuk. Let us hope
that the god Marduk is victorious for another year over the
forces of darkness and disorder.
And if you’re under the authority of Birmingham City
Council, I wish you an all-purpose Happy Winterval.
Happy Christmas! Or some such thing...
Attn: JK Rowling, Re: Harry Potter Advice
Ben Parker
Dear Jo,
Thank you for the new manuscript – it’s always lovely to read
the latest book! Just a few points
though, just editorial stuff really,
nothing major.
1) Do you think you could use
another title apart from ‘Harry
Potter and the Something of
Something’? It might seem a little lazy. But you’re the author
of these books, you know more
than I do about this!
2) Here at the Publishing
House we obviously like to foster a free, open policy about
how the author likes to write
– we’re not the sort of people to
make you do anything you don’t
want, you know that. But where
there has been a strong plotline
running through your previous
books, all evidence of anything
similar seems to be missing from
this latest one. I’m talking mainly about the whole Harry/Voldemort plot. When, before, they
were fighting each other in a
classic story of good and evil, in
this manuscript, however, they
spend the first 532 pages sitting
around Voldemort’s flat, watching Star Trek movies, then taking, and I quote, “loads of crystal meth and going mental on
ping-pong.” Perhaps you could
have a look at that?
3) The characters of Ron and
Professor Snape seem to have
swapped places, with Snape
being his best school-friend,
and Ron now an evil wizard
who knew Harry’s father. I’m
just thinking of consistency really – sorry to be pedantic. Also,
Snape is often referred to as
“Alan Rickman”. A typo I guess
- it happens to us all!
4) We did like the fact that
black characters were always
highlighted in the books before
with Blaxploitation names like
“Kingsley Shacklebolt” (as we
know that makes it plausibly
multi-cultural), but does Harry
(who seems to have become
“Garry” in the later chapters) really need to talk in gangsta-rap
parlance to them?
5) Just one final point – the
last four-hundred pages of the
1700 in the book seem to consist entirely of talking about
how much money you have and
what you’re going to spend it
on, leaving the storyline (where
Voldemort and “Garry” were
just about to go out for a doner
kebab and some rice) in midsentence. Perhaps this could be
changed a smidgen?
Still, a first-rate book!
Yours,
John Davis
Bloomsbury
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Devil’s Advocate
*Christmas*
It’s that time of year again: the cold sets in, the nights get longer; Christmas merely a matter of weeks away; Everyone glows with festive cheer.
This issue’s Devil’s Advocate takes the holiday that teaches ‘goodwill to all men’, ignores that advice and pits our writers against each other.
Jack Arnott - Ho Ho Ho
So what’s so great about
Christmas? Loads of food. Eating, without remorse, loads and
loads of amazing food until you
feel sick and can only eat Quality Street for the rest of the day.
Presents. Being given loads of
things that you want, for free!
The TV programmes are great;
loads of films and extra football!
Amazing! How can anyone not
love Christmas? The only bad
thing is that Neighbours is not
on but in a way this is a good
thing as it gives you time to really think about the plotlines.
Last year, while considering Izzy
pushing Darcy down the stairs
and framing him for robbery,
I learned that stealing and violence is wrong. There would be
no way I would have realised
this had another episode been
on the next day in which I was
distracted by Lyn’s awful hair
and Susan’s strangely attractive
facial scar.
But this is not about Neighbours. Nor is it about using as
many exclamation marks as I
can. Christmas is just quite simply brilliant. First of all, for the
dozens of religious types out
there, it is either when your Saviour is born, or when you light
candles for ten days, or when
you sacrifice pigeons in honour
of the pigeon overlord Pigeus.
Surely that’s just great? Religious
types must love Christmas, and
if they’re happy then so am I.
But Christians, Jews and Pigeon Fanciers aside, Christmas is
when you get to see your family.
And you get to see them pissed!
There is nothing like seeing your
great aunt off her knickers on
mulled wine, dancing the hokey-cokey on the dinner table.
Also, don’t forget that for
grown-ups, with real jobs,
Christmas is a time when you
don’t have to go to
work – brilliant.
For students,
who don’t do much,
Christmas is a
time when you
don’t have to
do anything.
How good is that?
If I was ever asked
how to improve Christmas, I wouldn’t know
what to say. The music
is great. Christmas as a
subject for song-writing has produced some
of the best music ever
put to paper, from Once
In Royal David’s City to
Mistletoe and Wine, and
is second only to love in
terms of consistent quality output.
Christmas
crackers!
Christmas crackers are
great. Who knows what’s
going to be inside. A keyring? Some plastic jewellery? A magic plastic fish?
And they go bang too!
And those sausages with
bacon on! Oh my God
those are brilliant...
I must apologise for my
excitement
and
for
descending into repetitive and
over-enthusiastic nonsense. But
the very fact that
the quality has dipped
so much merely shows
how much the subject
means to me. Christmas is
just bloody fantastic.
Mike Anderson - Bah
Christmas. Is there
anything more irritating outside of the Little
Britain Fanclub? Nothing.
Apart from the Little Britain Fanclub at Christmas;
there they go,
all shopping at
the same time
pointing at Kate Bush CDs
saying “I want that one” then
giggling like harpies for hours on
end, until someone else asserts
that they “don’t like it’” which
sets them all off again. This isn’t
about Little Britain, although I
wish it was. Sorry.
This is about Christmas
and how it’s a pain. Goodwill to
all men (and women of course),
the giving of gifts (and receiving
of course), and spending time
with the family (meh); all worthy ideals but can we convey
this ethos without being tacky
or infuriating? “No,” is the simple answer. “Yes, but no,” is the
long answer.
Smiling. People like to smile
at Christmas. That’s what they
all do. People can’t stop it. At
Christmas time wouldn’t we give
anything to have a quick frown?
All we really want to do over
Christmas dinner is say “What
the heck are these soggy green
lumps that you insist on calling
nutritious ‘food’? Take them
back and prepare me something
delicious! Forget it I’m going
for a Pizza Hut buffet.” But we
don’t. We just grin like hyenas.
And it’s all because we want
something…
Gifts. But the right ones!
How many novelty socks and
scented soaps does anyone,
even the smelliest and least fashionable amongst us, really need?
You can calculate the exact figure in moments using a device
that you normally keep in your
head. Zero. Correct, well done.
We don’t need any. None. No,
not even little soaps shaped just
like the fruit they smell slightly
like. What we need is proper irrigation facilities in Africa and
MP3 players. And some time
away from…
Family. The family unit is
something important in nature
but humans treat it differently.
We tend to treat it like this on
Christmas: “Aw, aren’t they all
sweet. Look at them all. There’s
your fifth cousin who you call
Auntie just because she’s old.
There’s your real Aunt and Uncle not saying anything to each
other because they’re both
having affairs with men. Look
at your pissed up Dad. Isn’t he
funny. Look at your pissed up
Granddad. Isn’t he nice. Look
at them both piss themselves on
the rug.” Such a sense of family values. Not worth as much as
the rug though. Your Dad will be
billed by your Mum.
Of course Christmas time is
not all about that. Most people
will have very nice families like
mine. The one I have just described is ‘fictional’ or belonging
to ‘you’. And whoever ‘you’ are,
your family is horrible.
So do enjoy Christmas won’t
you. It’s a lovely time of year to
rejoice and be thankful for what
you have and for what you get
given on the 25th.
I wish everyone a pleasant
Christmas, apart from you Little Britain Fans who are just
impossible to please. You want
that one do you? Oh, you don’t
like it? Tough. You’ll have what
you’re bloody given like the rest
of us.
Features
Page 12
How to... Scrooge!
Shane Doyle
Scared stiff of stockings, silly
scarfs and supermarket Santas?
Depressed with dreary panpipe
Christmas dittys, garish garlands
and overly-enthusiastic retailers? Fear not! Here are some
top tips for toppling the Christmas Cheer.
To ensure your Scrooge factor remains high and that you’re
projecting all the right tones of
bah humbug, say Dickens to the
colours red and green when it
comes to clothes. Whilst every
comely Christmasian bedecks
themselves in holly-inspired
garb, opt for mournful black
instead, shuffling through the
streets and malls as you bemoan
this periodic death of western civilization and all fashion
sense as we know it (eg those
dire cardys with the little bobbled reindeer heads over each
nipple.) Better still, opt for full
‘grim reaper’ attire before intruding upon your thronging
neighbours’ Christmas parties.
Glower with outstretched forefinger and menacing scythe as
the Jim Reeves record jolts and
they choke on their eggnog.
Some people say playing in
the snow is a load of balls. Yes,
and throwing them at random
people is one way to make
someone’s Christmas a complete turkey. Little doe-eyed kids
swathed in rainbow-coloured
woollies make compelling targets as they waddle around in
perfect technicolor. A nicely nestled stone inside your snowball
is optional here but be wary of
your aim. After all, it would be
a shame to hit something quite
useful, like a pigeon.
For others, the worst part of
‘Mule tide’, is those chipper folk
outside your porch harping on
about a ‘silent night’. Well… it
was silent until they showed up.
Most people just think these lot
are crackers, and that they’d
be better off shrink-wrapped
on a Sainsbury’s shelf. There
is no point in bursting outside
threatening to rearrange their
Christmas tree balls. No, better
to clamber down the porch, link
arms and burst into an improvised version of The Holly and
the Ivy; where Holly and Ivy are
two crack-cocaine hooked fortysomethings of loose virtue who
stole your virginity in a seedy
B&B after you’d raided your
Dad’s moneybox. You’ll be surprised at how many carol singers
linger on, ears prickling hot, for
the final, epic verse.
Of course, no Christmas
would be complete without the
wise words from our matronly
monarch offering patronising
platitudes with an expression of
soured mulled wine. While most
TV channels offer an alternative to this Zzzzzzzfest, a tenyear collection of these intrepid
monologues recorded on one
VHS (with not a little patience)
can make a mean Secret Santa
present for the local office prat.
Why wait until Christmas day to start despising the festive season?
For maximum Scrooge effect,
try disguising it as a steamy Hollywood thriller. At the end of
the taped speeches, be sure to
include a montage of pics of his
mother (with a little aid from the
tech dept) grinning depravedly
as she brandishes some disturbing facial hair. That’ll teach him
for wearing tasteless musical
Christmas ties.
And as for the big man himself, old Saint Nick - who fruit-
lessly tried to combat obesity
with every diet available, from
South Beach and Atkins, to reindeer pellets - he has enjoyed an
exorbitant increase in budget
over the last few decades. No
longer content with an apple
and a colouring book, the little
‘uns are now demanding iPods
and Robosapiens - and possibly
a grand or two on the side. Rumour has it this new generosity
by Mr Claus has something to do
with the merry resolution of an
interesting love triangle where
Mrs Claus ran off with the outrageously endowed Abominable
Snowman, and Santa himself,
after months of mournful, aimless rambling in the Arctic Circle,
finally returned to find love in
the cloved limbs of Donner and
Blitzen – all of which is completely unrelated to the title of
this article but irresistibly saucy
nonetheless.
PCs for a PC World?
Luke Catterson
It has been a long-building
frustration for me that people suffering from dyslexia are
handed out free computers.
Now I want to make it perfectly clear that I am in no way
criticising people with this condition, I am not going to discuss
if it exists or not and I fully agree
with extra time in exams and resource centres in the library as
I think they are helpful. What I
cannot understand is that having dyslexia makes you less likely
to be able to afford a computer.
We all need one.
What really made this situation get to me was hearing two
stories about it in the space of
two weeks. One person, who
shall remain nameless, (not out
of respect for their reputation,
I simply can’t remember their
name) suffers from dyslexia and
was given a free computer. He
then sold his computer and used
the proceeds to buy an extravagant sound system for his room.
Another person, who shall remain nameless (this time out of
respect, I do know their name as
I live with them - narrows ) had
their computer break and could
not afford to get it fixed. This
resulted in their having to walk
twenty minutes to a computer
room, often in the rain, just to
check e-mails.
Now you may be asking “why
didn’t I let him use my compu-
ter?” Well I’m not the one on
trial here.
I have since heard stories of
people getting free mini disc
players to record lectures, and
other such gifts. I do not have a
problem with people taking these
things, they would be foolish
not to. But giving people money
is not a cure for dyslexia. It just
appears to me that the government (that’s right I’m criticising
the government, - and. for the
record, I also think George Bush
is rubbish) is throwing money
at the problem to make it look
like they are helping, and doing
the ‘right thing’ to help disabilities. It seems a waste of money
when everyone I know who has
received something for free has
not needed it any more than
anyone else I know.
Still, I have decided to follow
this logic. I am currently developing a medication that cures
dyslexia and I am going to distribute it to poor people.
Features
www.wessexscene.co.uk
The Poor Student Guide to Xmas
Jo Argyle
Ah Christmas! It used to be
so much fun. No hassles or worries; when those festive lights go
up and Mariah Carey blares out
from every twinkling shop you
were filled with a buzzing sense
of excitement. What happened?
Now all you can think about is
how on earth you’ll survive the
holiday season with all those
parties, presents and pies leaving you full in stomach but empty in pocket. So, in case you’re
worried that the only thing Santa will be bringing this year is a
huge debt, here are our top ten
tips for surviving Christmas.
1) Do you really need to buy
presents for everyone at Uni?
Why not fall out with a few select friends just for the Christmas
period so you don’t have to buy
them a pressie?
2) Turkeys are expensive and
fattening. How about becoming a vegetarian for a month to
avoid that extra cost? Just have
a few extra roast potatoes instead.
3) Too many Christmas Balls
to go to? You could buy one
outfit and customise it for the
second and maybe third event.
No-one will know and you save
on buying a new outfit every
time.
4) Fancy wrapping paper can
cost a lot. Kitchen towels come
in all sorts of festive patterns
and are just as effective at a
fraction of the price. [Newspaper also makes good wrapping
paper. You can claim to be really trendy ‘dahling’ as well as
doing your bit for the environment with your smart approach
to recycling. Here at the Wessex
Scene we suggest you use this
fine publication - your lucky
friend will get the added bonus
of a good read too - Ed]
5) Stuck for present ideas?
Now’s the time to dig out all
those dodgy gifts your Gran
gave you down the years and
pass them on to someone else.
You’re not only being generous
but also removing clutter.
6) To make extra money, why
not go to a club of your choice,
take photos of people, and
charge them for the prints?
NB The Cube is already on to
this one.
7) Don’t open the door to
carol singers… they are only after your precious pounds.
8) Become a carol singer. Then
you can go after other people’s
precious pounds!
9) Impress your friends with
an exotic bottle of Champagne.
Or rather get out your old 18th
birthday bottle that you were
keeping as a candle holder and
funnel in the Lambrini. They’ll
never know the difference, honest.
10) Finally, if all else fails…
simply become a Scrooge and
deny Christmas even exists.
Your friends may desert you but
hey, you’ll be a lot better off
than they’ll be when the January sales come round!
Disappoint your friends this Christmas... it’s cheaper
Special Magic Christmas Feature!
Page 14
Dear M
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Special Magic Christmas Feature!
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Dear Mickey,
Thank you for your letter, it got to me in good time this year. I don’t believe I got your requests last year as my grotto has since moved from the North Pole
to somewhere near Tears in Chester. I have had your letter forwarded by the current owner, Mr. Pingu. For that I am very sorry and I will try to make it up to
you this year.
I’m very glad to hear that you got into Southampton University. I’ve been a great fan of the Southampton kickball team for many years. You may have
noticed I based my outfit on their kit. I’ve even dyed my little beard white to match. I spend a lot of time down your way as a matter of fact and I’ve been
keeping a special eye on you and the rest of your student pals.
You are right about the telly. I think the programme that you keep getting is ‘Snow-man-Away’, a very popular Icelandic soap-opera. They’re used to looking at everything through snow which is why it may have seemed a little unusual to you. I’m joking of course. You probably need to tune it in. Stop watching
Hollyoaks though, you tit.
About the treasure… unfortunately last year a good little girl from Solent ‘University’ asked me for the contents of Atlantis and I had to oblige. You wouldn’t
want the Nazi Gold either. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, it’s all covered in the blood of children. What I can arrange is for your Granny to send you £20 and I
could pop down to the bank for you and have your overdraft extended. I know how you fear the outdoors. Otherwise it’s ‘watch the pennies’ time, although
I looked in your wallet and you seem to have none left to watch. Bad luck my boy, but I’m not made of money. I’m made of broken dreams and fairy dust.
Time-machine eh? That’s a tricky one seeing as they don’t yet exist and I don’t have a time-machine to travel to the future to get one. All kinds of paradoxes
spring up, it’s very messy. I could send you a pair of flares and a waistcoat. That should get you through a couple of those throwback parties your establishment
seems so keen on, and I can get you a copy of Jurassic Park which would cover the dinosaur. You do know they were never real though, don’t you? Spielberg
invented them for a quick buck. Poor deluded youth. When will they ever learn what’s real and what’s not? Looks like it’s Santa’s job to teach them. But really
you just need to lay off the piss a few nights a week then those lectures won’t seem so daunting. Tell you what I’ll throw in a micro-scooter so you don’t have
to walk so far. You can’t say fairer than that.
As for the rest of the crap you asked for, never heard of it! The bits I do understand sound like something out of a fantasy film rather than real stocking fillers. How big is your bloody stocking anyway? You’re lucky you don’t just get a lump of old soil and cystitis for Christmas! You haven’t been that good a boy
anyway, have you? I’ve seen you laughing at the misfortune of others and heard you say very distasteful things about old people. I’m happy to give the good
boys and girls the new computers they wanted, or the shiny new coloured pencils those Geographers are always asking for. I may just come round and give
you a kick in the ribs and have Prancer pee on your rug if you’re not careful. I haven’t made my mind up about you sunshine.
What I want you to do for me, not only to earn your Christmas presents but to save your eternal soul, is to simply be a better person than the snivelling little
rat you are. It’s easy enough, I promise. It just means being friendly to everyone, no more snide remarks or waking people up in the middle of the night. Eat
your greens, never run with scissors and always look before you cross the street. Why don’t you try being as kind and generous as I’ve got to be every stinking
year! I’ve had about as much as I can take to be honest, so now it’s your turn! You spread this infernal ‘Christmas Cheer’ because frankly it’s starting to make me
want to spew. It’s up to you now, you’ve got to earn your Christmas, or I’ll have a word upstairs and have the whole thing called off. Do you understand? The
ball is in your court. Take it or leave it. I trust you’ll make the right choice. If you do, I’ll see you on the 25th. If not, I’ll laugh while you burn in eternal agony
in the fires of heck. That’s in Singapore.
Anyway I’m off to have a stiff drink. Then another one. Replying to these blasted things always gets me so worked up I don’t know why I bother. I’d rather
spend my birthday in bed. It’s Jesus’ birthday too, I don’t see why he gets the day off every year. Favouritism. Goodbye for now you rat…
Yours truly,
The Claus.
PS I know nothing about the elf.
Features
Page 16
SUSU-doku - Beware: addictive!!
How to play!
Every row, every column and every 3x3 box contains the numbers
1 through to 9, without duplicating any numbers. There should
be no guesswork or maths involved!
Easy-peasy!
3
7
4
7
6 5
8 5
9
9
I love Karl
Kennedy so
much that I
don’t know
what to do
with myself!
I first noticed his hunky look when I was
at school and Neighbours was
my post-homework treat. He is
just to die for isn’t he! We have
been seeing each other since last
year when he came to Southampton on the pretence that he
was doing an appearance at the
Cube. He was incredibly busy
so I only saw him for five minutes and he asked me how my
course was going, which made
my night. I didn’t get a chance
to see him again until last week
2
7
1
8
1
8
8
8
3
7
7
6
2
4
5
9
2
5
4
1
4
8
3 7 6
4 7 5
2
3
5
4
9
6
7
8
6
7
5
when he again came to see me
and pretended that he was attending the Cube . He was very
funny and made out that he
couldn’t remember me! What
a silly billy! Well my problem is
that he hasn’t been returning
my calls. I have the number for
the agency that he does his appearances through because I understand that he can’t give out
his personal number – I mean
there are all sorts of nutcases
out there who might stalk such
an attractive man – but the lady
who arranges these things says
that she has never heard of me
and I am beginning to waste
her time. Last time I called she
threatened to go to the police!
Why on earth she would want
to do that I can’t imagine – when
Karl finds out he will hit the roof!
9
7
5
3
4
2
5
9
8
3
7
1
8
5 9
2
1
6
1
4
6
7
9
7
1
7
4
3
2
1
5
4
Near impossible
9
2
2
1
5
7
8
8
1
7
8
6
7
4
1
6
8
6
1
2
9
2
4
4
9
6
3
6
2
8
8
1
5
8
9
3 4
6
8
9
6
4
1
5
6 7
4
7
4
2
9
2
8
7
5
5
5
6
2
8
2
2
8
3
1
1
9
Little harder..
Dear Beryl
Dear Beryl,
3
9
9
The Wessex Scene has 4 pairs of tickets to see Rachel Stevens
appear live at the Cube on Friday 16th December. To win, get
your completed SUSU-doku to Laura - VP Comms ASAP!
5 4
5
4 9 6
8
6 2
3
7 4
1
2
7
1
1
Competition!
6 1
Little harder...
1
5
8
9
Southampton’s much-loved
mature student agony aunt
But I just don’t know how to go
about telling him!
SH
Dear SH,
Looks like you have a little problem here. I suggest you
charter a flight out to Australia
and see him in person. Don’t
worry about the police. If they
come and see you I promise you
that they will help you to find
a place far better suited to you
than the wider world is. Padded
walls are the latest home musthave don’t you know!
Good luck. He might even
visit you. Love, Beryl.
Dear Beryl,
I have a huge problem – my
friend thinks she is dating Karl
Kennedy! Worse still, she doesn’t
even know that he is a character
in a TV show and says that the
actor Alan Fletcher is a lookielikey! Last week she claimed
that Alan was parading as Karl in
a bid to make money out of his
close resemblance to him! She’s
always been a bit on the loopy
side and had an obsession with
him ever since we met on our
first day at Uni but it got worse
after he came to Kinki Down
Under last year and last week
when he came to Southampton
again she was distraught because he didn’t remember her.
I am at my wit’s end with it.
She has plastered her walls with
posters of him and one of our
friend superimposed a picture
of her onto a photo of him as a
joke but it backfired – she now
claims that she remembers having this photo taken and carries
it around in her purse!! I mean,
come on, he’s not even that
good looking!
EC
Dear EC,
Oh dear, a friend with an
obsession is one thing but one
that is totally deluded is another
and she will be no use to you for
anything now or in the future.
Sell her on the black market. You
could make as much as £50! You
can use that to go out and find a
new friend – perhaps at another
Cube night, but make sure that
they aren’t obsessed with Rachel
Stevens first…
Love, Beryl.
Do you have a problem? Don’t know what to do next? Do you have no-one to turn to in your hour of need and want a decent answer?
Write to Beryl at [email protected]. Beryl will reply to as many letters as she is able. Confidentiality assured.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Societies
Page 18
Editorial
Talking for England
Laurence Stellings
Peter Lamb
‘Tis that time of year again,
the season of sheep on earth
and good will to all conformists,
something perhaps best seen in
the annual rush for evergreen
trees to erect in the living room,
and plastic trash to hang upon
them. But alas that’s enough
cynicism for this issue lest the
ghosts of societies past, present
and future come to take me on
a rollercoaster ride of shock and
amazement with fun for all the
family.
With a cold bite in the air, students, and therefore societies,
are heading towards the toasty
fires and warming whiskies of
the Public House to while away
the hours and find merriment in
companionship. Truly this is the
time for Society Balls and the
vast amounts of drinking which
characterises the Christmas of
the average student at university.
One look at the Societies Section and you can cast all that
nonsense from your head.
If anything, students are
more active than ever; defying
their natural urges to hibernate;
societies are out there debating,
singing and even campaigning for charities. Young people
these days; I’ll never understand
them.
If any of you active young
people are out there doing
things, then perhaps you might
fancy a change and want to
stay in, perhaps even writing an article or two. If you
do then I can be contacted at
[email protected],
after all, Christmas is a time of
giving.
Have a Merry Christmas, and
all that kartoffel, and see you in
the New Year.
Maintaining the high standards set during recent years, the
University’s Debating Society
performed well at this year’s English Speaking Union John Smith
Memorial Mace. Despite a late
arrival (caused by bomb scares
in London and a death on the
line on the way to Waterloo) the
Society’s two teams scored wins
and close seconds across five
rounds of competitive debating
against Oxford and Cambridge,
among other leading universities
and law colleges.
In debating competitions,
teams of two compete against
three other teams across rounds
of debates. Each person speaks
for five minutes and competitors
are only told the topic of the debate fifteen minutes before they
have to debate it. The positions
and competitors are not known
in advance. This ensures a closerun, exciting and unpredictable
series of debates.
Topics debated included
grammar schools, regulation
motions or to find out about
the Society’s topical news show
on Surge, Cross Current, see
www.soton.ac.uk/~debating or
contact us at debating@soton.
ac.uk.
Why not give debating a go: start an argument today
Societies Unite for Charity Fund-Raisers
Julie Cole
The first live music and comedy charity event was held in
Peter Lamb,
Societies Editor,
Wessex Scene
[email protected]
of the internet, Israeli politics,
sports funding, the role of religion in society and some real
kartoffel.
This strong performance follows excellent showings at previous competitions: the finals in
Exeter and Bristol, runners-up in
the best speaker competition at
UCL and semi-finalists at a massive international competition in
Berlin.
At home in Southampton, the
Debating Society is growing to
two debates a week. These are
held in the Small Meeting Room
on the bottom floor of the Union Building, one on tuesday at
6.15pm and one on thursday
at 8.00pm. Society Chairman
Zeshan Qureshi attributes this
success to the Society’s friendly
attitude, free events and plenty
of encouragement (although
no-one is ever forced to speak).
New debaters may be interested
to know that the Society has its
own coach.
For more information on the
Society, upcoming events, an
archive of previously debated
Have a good time for Charity
June. Julie Cole and Joe (events
organisers) decided to try to get
the events up and running each
month from August to ensure a
regular flow of money to some
fantastic local charities.
Each month money is raised
for SCRATCH and The Hampshire Autistic Society and have a
third charity which changes each
month (which have included
CLEAR, Rose Road association,
MIND and BLESMA). The next
one is Sunday, 11 December at
The Talking Heads from 6.30pm,
which will include a Christmas
Raffle.
These events have been set
up to enable the local community to get involved in some community action (cleverly disguised
as a night out!). It was felt that
a great way to do this was to
reward a £4 ‘donation’ with live
music and comedy, so people
could come along and have a
really top class night out whilst
also helping charities in their immediate vicinity. The profits go
straight to where it is needed
within Southampton and Hampshire and is not tied up in admin
and wages before it has reached
the charities it is meant for. It is
also hoped that these evenings
will enthuse people to have a
go at doing some fundraising
themselves.
The live events also mean
that new and upcoming performers get a chance to air their
fantastic abilities in front of a
paying crowd, whilst managing
to do their bit for charity in the
process. There has been a really
amazing response to the events
and organisers have really been
touched by the help and skills
people have offered for free especially as the artists get paid
gigs elsewhere and all have said
they would love to come back.
All of the performers and
helpers, do so of their own free
will and without financial reward
(ok perhaps the odd friend is cajoled into helping against their
initial instincts, but everyone is
happy with the feel good factor
in the end!)
As these are very new events
the planners have so far been
really pleased (and often a little
exhausted!) with how they have
gone. More than £1000 has
been raised so far and the organisers anticipate that to continue. They hope that people
will continue to support them;
the crowd has been very mixed
which is fantastic but they would
like to see more students coming
along to keep up the side.
If you would like to find out
more about any future events
then you can get in contact with
them by emailing jrc402@soton.
ac.uk.
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Musical Antix for Jazzmanix
Rachel Browning
Jessica Wilkins
This is Jazzmanix’s 12th year
of running, and they are showing no signs of slipping quietly
into old age! They are a fun and
exciting society that meet to
practise once a week for a couple of hours at a time, before
heading off to the pub to soothe
their tired vocal chords with a
pint.
There are over 120 members
in the Society and although it is
rooted in gospel, members sing a
mixture of contemporary music,
dabbling in jazz, soul and pop.
Usually, we will perform in three
major annual concerts at the
Turner Sims Concert Hall where
they show off the fruits of our
term’s labours, but they are also
active in the broader community of Southampton and South-
ampton University, performing
smaller gigs at venues as varied
as the Mountbatten Hospice
and Talking Heads pub, sometimes as a whole choir or, when
space limits, to a smaller group.
Holding workshops in Southampton schools and sing annually at Winchester Prison, Jazzmanix firmly believes in breaking
out into the wider Southampton
Community.
The social life is pretty active,
with new members always actively encouraged to join in. Society members are friendly and
never leave anyone out. As well
as traditionally propping up the
bar, they eat out, share regular
karaoke evenings at the Stag’s
Head and attend concerts and
plays such as the London Community Gospel Choir Christmas
gigs. Our Christmas Balls and
parties are always well attended
as are the many after-show soirees.
As an added bonus, the society goes on tour every summer.
In the last three years trips have
been to Switzerland, Barcelona
and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. This year they are hoping to
go to one of the Czech Jazz festivals… roll on the tour bus!
There are several spin-off
groups from Jazzmanix, including pop and gospel groups and
a soul trio who usually perform
with the choir at the annual
gigs. The choir also offers many
opportunities for soloists, and
we have a good range of male
and female singers within the
choir. Although you need not
audition to be in the choir, the
society do ask prospective soloists and small-group members
to audition before the musical
directors.
Auditions are held at the start
of the new university year, but
if you join the choir later in the
year and fancy a go as a soloist
you can always ask the MDs to
give you a listen.
If you’re interested in joining a society that is truly dedi-
cated to enjoying music and
having fun with it, or even if
you just want to watch, email
[email protected] or visit
www.jazzmanix.org. Practices
are on Thursday nights from
7pm until 9.30pm in the Music
Department.
Jazzmanix, winner of the SUSU Best Society of the Year Award
Busy days for SUSU RAG
An eventful two days for
Southampton University’s Raise
And Give Society started on Friday, 18 November with a busy
series of activities in aid of the
BBC’s annual Children In Need
Appeal.
There was a fun-run around
Southampton Common in the
afternoon which was accompanied by a brave few (including
three Sabbaticals) plunging into
the depths of a bathtub full of
baked beans. As the day pro-
gressed, the Union began to
accommodate more RAG master-plans, including speed-dating in the Bridge Bar followed by
chest-waxing at The Cube on a
jam-packed Friday night.
The money is being donated
to Children In Need, a charity
that works to improve the lives
of the young throughout Great
Britain, and boasts having raised
over £34 million nationwide last
year.
However, there was no rest
for the wicked and the following
day RAG headed to Newbury for
their second ‘raid’ of the year.
Volunteers spent their precious weekend collecting for
Barnardo’s, a charity which looks
after the young in the UK.
Joint RAG President Andrew
Bailey remarked: “I’m glad that
the cold weather hasn’t put people off volunteering their time
for RAG, and with those two
days of events we managed to
raise a good amount of money
for charity.”
If you want to do your bit for
charity at the Union, and haven’t
already contacted RAG, then
please call 023 8059 5218, visit
http://rag.susu.org/ for more information, or alternatively email
RAG at [email protected].
The RAG Office is along the
blue tunnel in the Union, and directions are posted on the RAG
webpage above. Please pop in!
The money already raised
by RAG for both Children In
Need and Barnardo’s from the
two days of events is still being counted but it is believed
to be close to the £1500 mark!
So, well done to everyone and a
Merry Christmas to all!
of the city. Adorned in flat caps,
long socks and diamond knitted
jumpers the group pitched and
putted their way through the
town, from the Stag’s Head right
the way down to Ikon, managing a one par at every hole. But
despite all the drunken revellry if
anyone was to run afoul of the
law that night it would not be
the pub golfers, for this was no
ordinary social, it was an Inns of
Court Social.
Inns of Court society are a de-
partmental society, with the aim
of promoting and informing its
members about the intricacies
and opportunities of qualifying
and practising as a Barrister in
England and Wales, with a lot of
fun thrown into the mix as well.
Meetings are held on Thursdays at twelve o’clock in the
Law Seminar Room, if you
want to find out more then
come to a meeting, or alternatively email Gareth McClure at
[email protected].
Richard Clare
RAG graffiti on Stonehenge
Any room at the Inns...?
Natalie Daniels
On a cold November night,
with fog in the air and frost on
the ground, the townsfolk of
Southampton were surprised to
see a mob travelling the streets
Sport
Page 20
Editorial
Intramural sport as hard fought as ever
Shivam Desai & Azeem Lalani
Alex Hayes
So the season of goodwill is
finally upon us and it’s good to
see the England cricket team
showing goodwill to their Pakistan opponents by allowing
them to beat us so easily in the
recent test series. England have
done their best to undermine
all of the good work they put
in over the summer, throwing
away wickets and bowling badly
on flat wickets. It would be foolish even to blame it on injuries
and unavailability given that the
established performers really
haven’t responded.
It’s still good to see that the
England rugby team haven’t
gone soft on us though. Some
good performances in the Autumn internationals were rounded off by a good show from
England’s next heavyweight
hopeful Lewis Moody who did
a very passable impression of
Ricky Hatton to become the first
England player sent off at Twickenham in the routing of Samoa.
At this time of year I’d like
you to spare a thought for those
who don’t get time off over
Christmas. Admittedly the life
of a Premiership footballer is
not wrought with hardship. But
whilst we are all sat around gorging ourselves on turkey with all
the trimmings and Quality Street
and over-indulging in fine wines
on Christmas day these highly
tuned athletes will be abstaining
from all of these luxuries in order
to be ready to run out on Boxing Day for our entertainment.
Those to feel most sorry for are
the unused subs who needn’t
have bothered turning up at all.
This edition is jammed full
of yuletide goodies including
the hugely successful American
Footballers, some impressive
score lines from Ladies’ Football
and a bunch of Brits travelling to
Berlin to have a fight with the
Shorinji Kempo club.
Happy holidays people,
Al
With intramural sport fully
under way and with the team rivalry exceptionally (iand understandably) high, there is a lot to
report. Starting with football, the
Monday five-a-side footy has
continued to prove a very exciting league. The Orthogonals
beat Bobtown by an incredible
ten goals. The Orthogonals went
on to score a further 18 goals
in their following three games.
That score line was bettered by
ORC Milan who scored 12 goals
a week later. Another high scoring game was that between A
Soc and the J Block Jesters, the
latter winning by 11 goals to nil.
Hiren Dhimar of the A Soc team
told the Wessex Scene: “There
was a clear difference between
the two sides with a clear lack
of training and discipline on the
part of A Soc, compared to JBlock Jesters whose high level
of fitness and sublime one touch
football meant a very one sided
game.”
Tuesday’s five-a-side footy
has also produced an abundance of exciting football. One
of the games of the season was
between Surreal Madrid and
Chamberlain, the former winning by five goals to four. Another thrilling game saw the Jap
Soc Samurais beat Electronics
and Comp Science by five goals
to three. ISOC beat Not Saints
FC by ten goals to nil.
The eleven-a-side leagues
that are played on Wednesdays
and over the weekend are into
week four of their respective
competitions. There have been
plenty of goals, goals, and, yes,
more goals. Pimp Kaos have
already notched up 19 goals in
the Saturday league, so if you
are not doing anything on a
producing many low scoring
games, with many teams keeping a clean sheet.
The second league on the
Sunday has been a complete
contrast, producing some very
high scoring, exhilarating games.
One game that stands out featured Team Mordaunt, who
beat the Randoms 14-0. Up until
now, the Wednesday league has
been just like the Sunday league
- a well-fought, spirited competition. NOC have had the best
Intramural football is becoming increasingly competitive
Saturday, they’re the team to
watch. In the same league, The
Concert Band got off to a flier,
winning their first game by nine
goals to five, but they went on
to lose their next two games.
The Sunday league has shown
itself to be a tough tournament,
result; they beat the South Hill
Slackers by eight goals to one.
The ladies’ five-a-side footy has
only just begun, the Near Misses
have made a fantastic start to
the season, winning all three of
their games, as well as scoring
eight goals. Most other teams
are yet to play their second or
third game.
Turning our attention to some
of the other sports, the hockey
season has also just begun. Geogsoc have made a terrific start
to their season winning their
opening two games, and scoreing an impressive nine goals.
The netball has just completed its second week, the Medic
and Hist Soc teams have both
won their opening two games.
The Medics have scored twentythree points without reply.
In badminton, a clerical error
means that 17 teams instead of
16 are battling it out to see who
is the best! The Chinese Society
team CSSA have won the competition for as many years as we
can remember, their star player
a schoolgirl who’s better than
most of the men in the competition. It has been said about intramural badminton that second
place really means you’ve won!
However, after the few matches
that have been played there are
a few who are beginning to believe that the CMMT team, have
what it takes to beat the Chinese
Society team!
If you want to get your team
featured in these pages just
email a short review/player
profile of about 50 words to
[email protected].
Selected BUSA tables for Wessex clubs
BUSA is the British Universities’ Sports Association. Some of our sports teams play in the BUSA leagues. Southampton is 13th overall.
Men’s Fencing- South Eastern Conference 1A
Men’s Hockey 1st XI- Western Conference 1A
P W D L F
A
Pts
P W
D
L
F
A
Royal Holloway 1st
4 3
0
1
492
365
9
Cardiff Uni 1st
7 5
1
1
27 15
16
Kent Uni 1st
4 2
0
2
501
481
9
Southampton 1st
7 5
0
2
30 18
15
Imperial College 1st
4 3
0
1
463
488
9
Marjons 1st
6 3
0
3
16 18
9
London Uni 1st
3 2
0
1
392
302
6
Gloucestershire 1st
7 2
1
4
16 23
7
Southampton 1st
4 2
0
2
491
428
6
Bath 2nds
7 2
1
4
17 25
7
Sussex Uni 1st
5 1
0
4
485
550
3
UWE 2nds
6 1
1
4
14 21
4
Pts
Men’s Rugby 1st XV- Western Conference 1A
P W
D
L
F
A
Hartpury 2nds
6 5
1
0
182 83
16
Cardiff Medics 1st
6 5
0
1
203 106
Plymouth 1st
6 3
0
3
UWIC 2nds
7 3
1
UWE 1st
7 2
Southampton 1st
6 0
Ladies’ Tennis 1st- Western Conference 1A
P W
D
L
F
Bath 2nds
7 5
1
1
54 16
16
12
UWIC 1st
7 5
1
1
47 23
16
128 102
12
Exeter 1st
6 3
2
1
18 24
11
3
151 159
10
Cardiff 1st
6 2
0
4
20 40
6
0
5
119 169
6
Gloucestershire 1st
7 1
1
5
19 51
4
0
6
51
0
Southampton 1st
5 0
1
4
8
1
215
Pts
A
42
Pts
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Ladies’footie
team leads
Putting up a fight in Berlin
Having lost several players at
the end of last season, the new
season got off to a great start
with over 50 girls turning up
for trials. The high standard set
at the trials for Ladies’ football
meant the squad selection was
very tough.
With the Solent pulling out
of the Walkabout Cup our first
game of the season was away to
Bournemouth. Having finished
third just behind Bournemouth
on goal difference last season,
the girls had a score to settle and
were expecting a tough game.
The new team gelled amazingly well, triumphing 5-1. This
great start was followed up with
a home match against Cardiff.
Confidence sky high from the
first game, the girls came out
guns blazing and won 8-0.
Having proved their worth on
the pitch it was time to introduce the Freshers to the football
socials!! With new social t-shirts
and kitted out in our golf gear
we hit Southampton’s pubs for
our Freshers’ Pub Golf! It proved
to be a lengthy night with split
trousers, lost phones, a trip to
A&E for our honourable social
secretary Kath and many sore
heads the next morning!
Back on the pitch (as they had
not fielded a team in the Walkabout Cup) it was time to take on
local rivals the Solent. In the unusual position of being down at
half-time, an inspirational team
talk led to a well deserved 3-2
win. Three wins out of three,
our biggest challenge was still
to come against top of the table
UWE. Again 1-0 down at half
time and in subzero conditions
the team fought back to claim a
2-2 draw.
This result kept the team in
second place, 21 goals behind
UWE. A big win was necessary
against Gloucester and a change
in formation saw us play our
best football to date, silky moves
in midfield, solid defence, and
great link up play culminating in
an 18-1 drubbing.
Still unbeaten, with the team
going from strength to strength,
the season ahead looks extremely promising!
Travelling across Europe to
spend twenty hours fighting,
fifteen hours sleeping, earning
bruises and getting drunk sounds
like an England football supporter’s dream. However, it was
actually the University Shorinji
Kempo Club Trip to Berlin.
We were welcomed on arrival
by hosts, snow and beer. Then
followed a desperate attempt to
catch sleep before training for
Vikki Howe
Mirianna Budimir
an hour and a half. After a visit
to the beer cellar, we all staggered back for a few hour’s kip
before rising early and blearyeyed, ready (or not) for six hours
of training.
Sensei took no prisoners. We
did rolls, spinning kicks, myuchi
(loose-finger strike to eyes),
leaping kicks, punches, randoori
(sparring), juho and goho techniques. We did far more sit-ups
and press-us than I care to remember and the Dojo echoed
The Shorinji Kempo club
with our Kiai.
Later we reconvened for beer,
chocolate cake and a formal
round of saki (rice wine), which
rapidly separated the white belts
from the black belts. The evening
ended after placating some of
the more hardcore club members with DVDs demonstrating
Shorinji Kempo techniques.
Sleep came easily, but after
only a few hour’s indulgence we
dragged our aching bodies to
the Dojo to compare bruises and
prepare for more of the same.
Unfortunately, I spent most of
that day ill, watching jealously.
After a painful-looking massaging session, we went for
pizza and a tour in the dark before finishing at a pub decorated
with axes, fake blood and skulls.
Many drinks were consumed
and our final farewells said so
we could get two hour’s sleep
before returning to Southampton and reality. I’m still buzzing
from the weekend.
See the website at www.soton.ac.uk/~shkempo.
Tables are turning for new club
Phil Tilotson & Alex Hudson
This year Southampton Table
Tennis Club has got plenty to offer, both athletically (believe it
or not!) and socially. The Club’s
been up and running over two
years now and has gone from
strength to strength starting
from a lowly few committed
members and building to a well
structured, highly enjoyable club
of over 30 members – not bad
considering its recognition as a
minority sport. We are open to a
huge range of abilities with many
members never having played
before playing beside those who
have competed at senior county
level and national events.
Major breakthroughs this
year have included the use of
the Jubilee Sports Hall and its
brand spanking new equipment
for a Sunday morning session
(in addition to our two standard
weekly sessions in the activities
room.) This slot has been further
enhanced with the introduction
of an ITTF internationally approved coach who has worked
with many of the top players in
the England setup.
As well as learning, coaching and playing, the Club is also
building on its numerous social
activities of last year. Finishing
the Thursday evening session
with a few cheeky pints (while
cringing at the karaoke in the
Stag’s Head) has been added to
by a number of larger socials,
most recently featuring tenpin
bowling and a (mildly alcoholic!)
trip to Ikon. Future socials in the
pipeline include a Christmas trip
to see comedy at Jongleurs as
well as the annual Awards Dinner at the end of the year.
This year’s new batch of
Freshers has dramatically improved the standard of the
Southampton teams. In the two
years since its formation the
men’s team has been promoted
to the Premier South division
and is currently holding its own
in a league containing some of
England’s highest ranked players, recent successes include a
hard-fought 10-7 victory over
Middlesex University in our last
match. The women’s team has
unfortunately suffered from
cancelled matches and therefore
has only been able to compete in
one fixture, going down against
a strong LSE side.
Future events include the British Universities Individual Table
Tennis Championships, this year
taking place in Nottingham. Last
year’s tournament in Warwick
proved to be a massive success
both competitively, as our stronger players progressed far into the
knockout stages, and socially, as
our not-so-strong players went
out in the early stages and got
inebriated in Warwick’s Union.
An Open University all-comers
event is also in the pipeline, with
ultimate bragging rights up for
grabs! Add to this the increasing
number of socials and certainly
this year’s Club is building on the
fantastic success of last year.
Sport in
Brief
Netball
The first team have failed to fire
in the BUSA championships.
A run of four defeats from their
first four games despite some
close run matches including a
29-25 reversal against Marjons
was eventually stopped with
a comfortable home victory to
fellow strugglers UWIC 2nds
34-18.
Two subsequent defeats have
left them rooted to the foot of
the table needing a good run in
the last three matches to avoid
relegation.
Hockey
In the Ladies’ game, injuries
to key players left the side depleted leading to two close defeats. However, with the return
of Lucy Unwin and Ella Kenny
the side were dominant against
UWIC 2nds, winning 3-1 and
moving them to mid-table respectability.
The Men’s side have had a dip
in form after a blistering start to
the season, with a tired looking
team disappointingly losing to
Marjons and fellow title contenders Cardiff.
A 5-3 win against Bath 2nds
has lifted them to second in the
table, one point behind leaders
Cardiff against whom they play
in their final fixture.
Rugby
The Men’s first team are still
without a win this season despite some improved displays. A
lack of the killer edge has cost
them at times with the team often failing to reach double figures.
An encouraging display against
a very strong UWIC 2nd team
saw them lose 19-8. Injuries
to experienced players meant
the next two games away to
Plymouth and home to Cardiff
Medics were played with an
under-strength team, and the
team subsequently went down
39-14 and 66-12. Relegation
now seems unavoidable.
Page 22
Sport
www.wessexscene.co.uk
Stormy seas overcome en route to BUSA finals
Dave Newey
The first major date in the
University Sailing calendar is always the Student Fleet Racing
finals, which is held at the 2012
Olympic Sailing venue in Weymouth. It sees over 300 sailors
converge for a weekend of carnage, cavorting and er... sailing!
We entered 15 different boats
- the largest contingent of sailors. These ranged from Lasers,
to a Hobie Cat and included the
Foiling International Moth. Un-
fortunately gusts of up to 50
knots recorded on Sunday saw
the event cancelled! Southampton’s Ian Dobson and Sam Maxfield held the overnight lead in
the Handicap Fleet from the one
race that was run before the
fronts came over! They secured
first place in what was a very
small series.
Further success came from Ed
Grieg, a member for the British
Olympic Development Squad,
who sailed in a Finn. Unaffected
by the strong winds he blasted
Southampton sailors are among the best in the country
his way to fourth in a handicap
fleet that doesn’t suit itself to
Finn sailing! Giles Scott finished
fourth in the very strong Laser
fleet, just behind his fellow team
mates from ODS squad. These
results meant that we finished
second university overall behind
Exeter who won for a third year
in a row (almost all the prospective British Olympic Laser sailors
go to Exeter!) This was an awesome event and a great effort,
which won us our first BUSA
medals of the year.
Moving on from early success at the fleet racing, the Club
has now been going to various
events around the country honing our team’s racing skills in
preparation for the main BUSA
event in April.
The Oxford Magnum is an
event that not only attracts university teams, but also world
class teams from the UK and
overseas. Sending out top teams
to these events gives us unbeatable practice against some of the
best sailors in the country.
Southampton 1, represented
by Dave Newey, Eamonn King,
Ed Males, Mimi Boughton,
James Roche and Rob Millar,
were sailing together at their
first event and after dispatching
all the other uni teams in the first
day, got to sail in the Super Gold
League on Sunday pitting their
skills against four other excellent
teams. They held their own and,
although in a tie break situation did not quite qualify for the
semis, gained a huge amount of
experience to take to the next
event.
Southampton 2 (Matt Findley, Georgie Corlett, Bevis Field,
Rob Millar, Dave Newey and
Sophie Dyer) went to the RNVR
at Spinnaker Club and easily
out-sailed all the competition to
claim the win. Southampton 3
made the trip up to Birmingham
for the Brummy Bender – an
event known for insane socials
and great sailing. Unfortunately,
the wind gods weren’t providing
and there was only time for one
round robin to be run.
Southampton showed superior boat speed in the light conditions to pull off an impressive
win, finishing joint first losing
out by one point on combination countback! Congratulations
to Guy, Hannah, Alex, Dougal,
Ian and Lizzie.
For the Ladies’ first outing
they traveled the short distance
up the M3 to London for the
6Pack. At another event blighted by light winds, the girls - Jo,
Lottie, Emma, Wendy and Hannah - showed early in the year
that they will be a force to be
reckoned with when it comes to
BUSA in April, where they will
be defending the title, seeing off
Men’s teams en route to a top
ten finish.
The team also recently qualified for the National Team Racing Finals at the BUSA qualifiers
hosted by Southampton, finishing 1, 2, 3 and 4! This success
shows that the regular Wednesday training and weekend events
are paying off for our talented
crews.
The Club also offers weekly
yachting trips and beginner/
casual sailing for much cheaper
than any other club! For more
information, join the Wessex
Sailing Club group on the University’s SUSSED website where
you can find information about
the Club as well as Committee
contact information. You can
also see some of the carnage of
socials on the photo page!
Lifesavers take inspiration from ‘the Hoff ‘
Hayley Jones
Southampton
University
Lifesaving Club (SULSC) is rapidly growing in every area, from
awards training to competition
success and from membership
to social mayhem! At the end of
last year we saw the sad departure of nearly half of our well established members, leaving only
the committee and a few older
members remaining. However,
after a very successful Freshers’
Fayre we recruited over twentyfive new and very enthusiastic
No more booze for you... !
members ranging from complete
beginners to beach lifeguards. At
present, most of these are working towards taking either their
Basic Lifesaving Awards, Bronze
Medallion and Life-Support One
or indeed going straight into the
advanced level training ready
for exams the final week before
Christmas.
This season has also seen a
continually growing and exciting interest in competitive lifesaving resulting in the Club
taking four teams - of which
three were Freshers’ teams, to
the Fresher competition held in
Warwick in October. Here our A
team came fourth, our D team
came in 32nd place and our C
team in 25th place but it was
our B team who did exceptionally well, coming third overall in
the B team league. Since then,
we have taken two teams to Aberdeen although unfortunately
due to financial restraints we
were unable to accommodate
the huge interest in attending
this competition.
The next events lined up are a
speed competition on Saturday,
3 December at Crawley Town’s
new 50m pool and then the final league competition this side
of Christmas held by London
University which always proves
to be a great end to the year, especially on the social front!
On top of the successes in
awards and competitions, one
of the other quickest growing
areas of our Club is the social
side where our Social Secretary
has been hard at work making
sure we are all out and about on
Wednesday evenings ever since
the very beginning of term. The
socials we have held range from
good old Hey Ewe nights and
pub golf down to Jesters, to
Bowling and Laser Quest, Bingo,
and a quiz night at Wide Lane.
There is always a very strong
turnout at these events which is
duly reflected in the 40 members
we have booked for our Christmas Dinner.
Finally, at the time of going to
press, we have just received our
huge club kit order – make sure
you keep an eye out for us in
our new and improved hoodies
sporting a lifesaving hero: none
Preparing for the main event, SULSC members take to the water
other than Mr David Hasselhoff
himself!! Therefore thanks go to
all the people involved in, and
supporting, the Southampton
University Lifesaving Club, including our fantastic coaches,
members and the Committee.
We are proud to present SULSC
as a pillar amongst the whole of
the Athletic Union’s vast community.
We are really proud to have
a very modern and continually
updated website (www.sulsc.
org) which our Communications
Officer has worked diligently to
realise. It is here that you’ll find
all important information, photos, training details and a flourishing message board which can
be used by our members at the
click of a mouse.
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Stags bid for national glory
Kris Hodges-Peck
National Champions. That is
the very real goal of the Southampton Stags American Football Club. The champions of the
Southern Division for the past
two years can now realise their
dream of the College Bowl victory that has eluded them since
the back-to-back national titles
of 1992-94. With nine current
players having international experience, something few clubs
in Wessex can boast, and a
coaching staff including Graham
Thorpe, Great Britain’s Bulldogs’
Head Coach, the groundwork is
in place.
After losing experienced and
talented players to graduation,
the Stags made a huge effort
this year when it came to recruitment. A stand was commissioned for the Bunfight to help
promote the professionalism of
the Club and international jerseys
were put on display to advertise
how far the team can take an individual. This setup meant that
over 300 people stated their in-
terest in playing and made for
an impressive turnout at try-out
day. The team worked hard during pre-season, practicing three
times a week and soon over 40
players were registered to play
for the club, a squad with a good
mixture of youth and experience
and much depth and talent.
The pre-season wasn’t all
practice, there was partying
too with the hugely successful
“United States of Academy”
event mid-October. The event
attracted a vast array of friends
and supporters and raised money for the Club, the Southampton Vixens Cheerleaders and
the Lisa Wilson Fund, a charity
which aims to provide scholarships for less advantaged people and talented sportsmen to
help with the costs of going to
university.
Two weeks after the pinnacle of Stags’ pre-season training
achievements (a two-day camp
devoted to football), the season
kicked off. The Stags hosted the
Royal Holloway Vikings, a new
team this year who were coming
The team discusses its tactics for taking the other side down
The Stags offence waiting for the snap against a combative Hertfordshire outfit
off a narrow two point defeat in
their first game.
All of the pre-season training
and conditioning clearly paid off
as the home team was clearly
well prepared to face their foe
running out comfortable victors
76-0, scoring ten touchdowns in
the process. Rookie Justin Sysum
gained offensive MVP (Most
Valuable Player) honours for his
121 yard, two touchdown, performance.
The following week, the
away game to UKC Falcons
was moved to Southampton for
safety issues and the Committee worked hard to make sure
the game went ahead. It was
again dominated by the Hampshire side cruising to a 74-0 win
whilst giving the rookie players a
great deal of playing time. Tam
Amachree showed his talents
at running back scoring three
touchdowns and rushing for a
massive 209 yards; Sysum again
broke the 100 yard mark whilst
collecting valuable tackles on
defence and special team moves
proving his worth as a versatile
player.
On Saturday, 26 November
the Stags travelled to Birmingham to face the reigning national
champions, the Birmingham Lions in a night game recorded by
Sky Sports, with presenter Kevin
Cadle a guest official. Last season they narrowly squeezed out
Southampton by eight points so
a close match was anticipated.
In a poor first half for Southampton, the team made some
key errors against a strong opposition and could only manage one score, a dazzling kick
return touchdown by Dominic
Olney. The international standard coaching staff made some
formation adjustments at the
break and the Stags came out
playing with passion to overturn
the 31-6 score line. In the third
quarter the defence stuffed the
Lion’s offence, whilst Southampton’s offence thrived under
the command of Great Britain
Quarterback Ted Baynham. After four unanswered scores, the
Stags had the lead. Injuries and
bad luck combined though, and
the lead, and the game, slipped
away from them as they lost 5742 in a tense final quarter.
Looking to finish the regular
season 7-1 with a Southern Divisional title to be won, the Stags
will be looking to meet the Lions again in the playoffs in their
quest to obtain national glory!
Interested in playing for the
Stags or want to follow their
progress? Check www.stags.
org.uk for more information.
www.wessexscene.co.uk