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Bellingham
on tap
Your Guide to Over-21 Fun
August 2014
Summer Coolers
The Fair
Rock and Rye
Oyster House
Happy Hours
& Bar Specials
Dear Bellingham
Crotch Talk
Crossword
Astrology
Bellingam on Tap
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since 2013
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Bellingham on Tap
Your Guide to Over-21 Fun
August 2014
The Back Booth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4
Letter from the editor
Fair-ly Wasted . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5
Jackie Kersten loves this fair
Bartender’s Corner. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6
Fresh summer coolers from Katie Chandler
Happy Hour Guide . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8
Rock and Rye Oyster House . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
Tara Almond visits happy hour
Dear Bellingham . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13
Neill McLaughlin has an opinion on the pace of roadwork
Weekly Specials and Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
Bellingham Confession of the Month . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
Ballpointed by David T.
Shower Beer: a love story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17
Ryan O’Leary takes up a hobby
Tap This . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
August events
Astro Chat . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20
Sun signs, ie, “your sign,” with Kat Bula
The X Word . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21
By crossword queen Kate Parker; solution on p.23
Crotch Talk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22
Sex advice with Auntie Crystal
Cover photo by Sally Wolff
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
The Back
Booth
I
t’s summer for real now. That time
when hot, sunny days are no longer
novel but a sweaty, hard-to-dress-for
daily reality.
Downtown Bellingham smells like tar
and garbage. Fruit flies are swarming
around the kitchen. Our usual haunts
start to seem less appealing compared to
that place that’s air-conditioned.
You have two choices now: you can sit
in the dark dreaming of the day you can
use the oven again, or you can get the hell
outside.
Assuming you opt for the outdoors,
we are here to help. Katie Chandler of
State Street Bar has updated some classic
drinks with summer fruity goodness to
make your backyard better – recipes on
p.6. – and Jackie Kersten offers up some
tips on enjoying the Lynden fair, opposite page. And if you prefer to enjoy the
outdoors on a covered deck, check out
Tara Almond’s review of Rock and Rye
Oyster Bar.
If you’re in the former camp, well, we
might run into each other in some dark
dive. Say hi; maybe we can swap recipes
for baked goods to make when the rain
comes back..
Speaking of baked (sorry, had to), the
field of dreams on the cover is a collective
garden for medical marijuana. With the
passage of i502 legalizing weed, the weird
legal limbo in which medical dispensaries operate has become even weirder.
The fun little marijuana story I was going
to write this month turned into a rabbit
hole. Stay tuned for next month’s issue
where I try to sort out the future of the
weed marketplace.
– June Hathaway
4
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
Bellingham on Tap
August 2014
Volume 1, Issue 11
June Hathaway
Editor and Publisher
June spent decades seeking a job that would marry her twin passions, publishing and
bars. Then she gave up and started a magazine. Whoomp, here it is.
Tara Almond
Tara is a recovering newspaper reporter and condiment collector. When she’s not working for the government, she’s dancing with anarchists and drinking with firefighters
in Olympia.
Kat Bula
Astrology Writer
Kat Bula is a consulting astrologer, as well as a musician and stuff. She tries really hard to
focus on what you’re saying without simultaneously analyzing
its astrological significance.
Jen Castaldo
Ad Sales
Despite being the hardest working woman in show business, Jen still has time to sell you
an ad. Contact her at [email protected].
Jackie Kersten
Writer
Jackie is host of the Whatever’s Clever Variety Show, and an aspiring alcoholic. In her
spare time, she bakes cookies for Illuminati fundraisers.
Kevin Lee
Ad Sales
He’s so dreamy you’d expect him to be stuck up, but he’s totally not! Contact him at
[email protected].
Crystal McIntyre
Sex Writer
Crystal has a degree in Human Sexuality and does standup comedy
in Bellingham. In her free time, she is America’s Sweetheart. Reach her at crotchtalk@
bellinghamontap.com.
Neill McLaughlin
Writer/Comedian/Actor Extraordinaire/Modest/What Have You/Have At Thee . . . Are
words that may, or may not, describes this man-child with a heart of gold orphans.
Ryan O’Leary,
Editorial Assistant
Ryan is a local cheapskate, comedian, cynic and opinionated drunk who likes the sound
of his own voice in bars.
Kate Parker
Crossword Queen
Kate likes to cook vegan food and post realistically sloppy photos of it to social media.
Kate’s talents are, as a friend once put it, “less obvious . . .”
Sally Wolff
Photographer
Sally is an eye rolling food snob, whiskey maven, multimedia artist, and air hockey
enthusiast. She yells a lot, but not on purpose.
Fair-ly Wasted
Navigating the Northwest Washington Fair
by Jackie Kersten
A
ugust is a time for many of my
favorite summer things, but
mostly two: day drinking and
the Northwest Washington Fair. As a
seasoned professional, I like to combine
them. After all, the only way to survive
a day spent with screaming kids, the
elderly, and barnyard animals is by being
completely blotto. Trust me, I work in
retail.
While in recent years NWWAF has
added a beer garden, it’s harder to get
to than Mordor in winter, so I’d advise
to bring your own*. I prefer to bring
airplane bottles of liquor with me for
a few reasons. First, I can mix it with a
soda, so it’s more discreet and I can have
a relaxing beverage as I stroll through
the bunny pavilion. Second, I can trade
with the carnival workers for free rides
or games. Last, I hide them in my bra, so
I get a tasty treat and the twins get a little
lift. Win win!
So now you’re feeling good, you’ve
watched a little rodeo, had some poffertjes (those little Dutch pastries are so
good), and now you feel a little . . . amorous. That’s fine; we all get those urges.
But if you are looking for a little carnival
knowledge, ditch the rides and find a
secluded place. Sure, the Ferris Wheel
seems like a good idea, but you won’t
make it one revolution without someone
noticing, and then it’s bye-bye poffertjes
(true story).
being stuck on a Tilt-A-Whirl for thirty
minutes, drunk, while Dr. Scabby goes
and gets his fix (true story).
Drinking at the fair isn’t all fun and
games though. In addition to the cops
that roam he grounds, (and even scarier,
the 4H-ers), you have to be aware of the
vendors whose sole job is to prey on
people like you in your intoxicated condition. If you aren’t careful, you’ll come
home with an armload of tacky jewelry
and $5000 worth of landscaping services
that you don’t need because you live in
an apartment (mostly true story).
If done right, a day at the fair can be
enjoyed by the whole family. Especially
if your family is like mine: alcoholics
with no impulse control who are really
just one failed rehab attempt away from
working at the carnival themselves. But,
hey, at least there are poffertjes (seriously,
you have to try them. They are amazing!).
*NWWAF does not condone drinking
and will throw your drunk ass out. Please
take responsibility for your actions and
don’t bitch at BoT if this happens.
At right: The first Ferris
Wheel, at the 1893
Columbian Exposition in
Chicago.
No currently living person has had sex on this
Ferris Wheel. Pretty sure,
anyway.
Speaking of rides, it’s best to avoid
them while drunk. With all the ups,
downs, spinning and swirling you’re
likely to lose you lunch and that booze
you worked hard for. If you are feeling
brave (and why wouldn’t you be? You’re
drunk!) then just take note of the state of
the carny operating the machine. There
is no torture in this world greater than
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
5
FOOD AND DRINK
Bartender’s Corner
The view from the other side of the bar
Summer Time, Drink Time
by Katie Chandler, Bartender at
the State Street Bar
August is here, and
that means barbecues.
It’s easy to focus on
the food, and just load
up on yard beer to
wash it down.
But with a little more
effort, along with fresh
produce from local
gardens and farmer’s
markets, you can make
some amazing drinks
to go with the grub.
I personally love to make my own simple syrup to go with a mojito or vodka
drink, and that is what I have come up
with for you lovely people.
Sliced peaches (two for a whole pitcher of
this deliciousness or a couple slices for a
glass)
Blueberries (see above example)
My favorite thing to do this month
is take a staycation . . . ya know, where
you stay in your yard and get all tan and
slightly drunk at an appropriate hour.
So grab the spray-on sunscreen and
break out the pitchers for a little R&R
time, because I know you can drink,
Bellingham.
Muddle fruit, then add:
Fill with soda and serve over ice.
Garden Gimlet
Next we have the thing that I really enjoy,
the gimlet.
White Wine Spritzer
First up we have a good ol’ staple for the
ladies who lunch. I’ve added a fruity twist
on this one. 6
White wine (Sauv Blanc works best)
Orange Liqueur (eye ball it, seriously)
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
3 slices of cucumber
handful of basil
3 wedges of limes
FOOD AND DRINK
1 oz. gin
½ lime juice
Muddle fruit and pour in gin, juice and
shake it up or stir it up. Two ways that
this can go down...strain it or my fave,
pour over ice, add soda water and serve it
in a mason jar with a lime wedge.
1 oz simple syrup (see recipe below)several
lemons
1 ½ oz. vodka
muddle with ice and strain into a nice
glass
Ginger Lemon Simple Syrup
2 cups sugar
1 whole lemon (peel and then cut in half
to squeeze)
1 large chunk of ginger (peeled and
chopped up)
2 cups of water
Bring to a boil and then strain through
fine metal strainer.
Ginger Lemon Martini
If you are looking for something classy
for friends or just to impress your beau
– this one will do the trick. It requires
making your own simple syrup but that
should be no problem for you, right?
Rhubarb Mojito
Sit back and enjoy the sunshine with
this one. Also, you can make a pitcher of
these. That way you don’t have to do too
much moving about.
1 oz simple syrup (same recipe as above,
just use rhubarb and mint in place of
ginger and lemon)
handful of mint
several lime wedges
1 ½ oz. light rum
½ oz lime juice
soda water
Muddle the crap out of the mint and
limes, pour in simple syrup, rum, lime
and ice, top with soda water. Well, there you are. Enjoy the sun, grab
a blanket and a book and enjoy the last of
summer!
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
7
Happy Hour Guide
Happy hours by neighborhood
DOWNTOWN
20th Century Bowl
1411 N. State, 360-734-5250
Happy hour daily noon-7: 25 cents off
pints and .75 off pitchers (for bowlers
only), bowling discounts noon-5.
Avenue Bread
1313 Railroad, 715.3354
Happy hour daily 4-6: $1 off pints of
local beer.
Bayou on Bay
1300 Bay St., 752-2968
Happy hour Tues-Sun, 4-7: Pints $4,
pitchers $13, wells $4.50, chardonnay
or cabernet $5. Sweet potato fries $3.50,
fried okra or hush puppies $4, andouille
platter or BBQ wings $5, oyster shooters
4/$6 – add $1 for vodka, frog legs $6.50,
fried oysters $9.50. F
The Beaver Inn
115 E Holly St., 733-3460
Happy hour daily 4-8: $3 wells, $1.50
off pitchers, 75 cents off pints (PBR not
discounted).
Happy hour 4-7 daily: $1 Rolling Rock
cans, $2.50 wells ($2.75 for tequila).
Bellingham Bar and Grill
1408 Cornwall Ave., 733-2579
Happy hour daily 4-7: $2.75 domestic
pints, $3.25 micro pints, $4 imports,
$2.50 wells. Cheeseburger and fries,
buffalo wings, chicken salad, fish tacos,
chicken strips $6, poppers and cheese
sticks $5, $6 with fries. Calamari steak
$7, steak and prawns $11. F
Casa Que Pasa
1415 Railroad, 756-8226
Happy hour Sun-Thurs noon-6 and
9-11: 50 cents off all drinks, half price
appetizers and desserts, potato burrito
with a tall boy $7, or with a margarita
$9. $1 tacos daily after 11pm. F
Bob’s Burgers & Brew
202 E. Holly St., 734-1350
Happy hour daily 3-6 and 8-10 SunThurs: $3 wells, $4 margaritas and house
wine. $5 cheesy jojos, chicken strips and
fries, nachos, etc. $2 burgers 8-10 only.
F
Boundary Bay Brewery
1107 Railroad, 647-5593
Happy hour Sun-Thurs 4-6: BBQ pork
sliders, tacos, and mini mac and cheese
are $2 ea. 5 wings for $3.50. F
Brandywine Kitchen
1317 Commercial St., 734-1071
Happy hour daily 3-6 and 9-10 Mon,
Tues, Thurs, Sun, 9-11 Fri and Sat: Draft
beer or house wine $3.75, cheesy bread
or organic fries $2.95, mac & cheese
$3.95, chicken pot pie $4.95, ancho chili
pork & fries $5.95. F
Cabin Tavern
307 W Holly, 733-9685
Happy hour Mon-Fri 5-7: $2.25 domestic drafts, nightly mixed drink specials.
Café Akroteri
1219 Cornwall, 676-5554
Happy hour 2-6 Mon-Sat, all day on
the patio, 4-9 Sunday: $2.75 wells, $2
Michelob draft, 25% off all appetizers. F
Cap’s Lounge
209 E. Chestnut, 733-0878
8
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
Chuckanut Brewery
601 W. Holly, 752-3377
Happy hour Sun-Thurs 4-6: $1 off pints
and wine by the glass, appetizer specials.
F
Cliff House Restaurant
331 N. State St., 734-8660
Happy hour daily 4:30-6:30: Appetizers
including oyster shooters, pork belly
sliders and whiskey crab soup, $5-12. F
Copper Hog
1327 N. State St., 927-7888
Happy hour daily 3-6: $5 curry fries,
brussesl sprouts, $7 poutine, oysters $2
each or $11 for half a dozen. F
Five Columns
1301 E. Maple St., 676-9900
Happy hour Tues-Sun 3-6: House wine
$4.95, well $3.95, specialty cocktails
$3.95-$5.95. $5.95 gyro, souvlaki,
dolmades, greek salad, spanakopita &
tiropita, calamari. F
Fiamma Burger
1309 Railroad Ave., 360-733-7374
Happy hour daily 3-6pm and 8pm-close.
$3 for 12-oz craft beers and $2 for
Olympia and Rainier tallboys.
Glow Nightclub
202 E. Holly St., 734-1135
Goat Mountain Pizza
215 W. Holly, 510-6336
Happy hour daily 2-5: Slice or a pint
HAPPY HOURS
$3.50, both for $6.50. F
Grand Avenue Ale House
113 Grand Ave., 671-3080
Happy hour daily 4-6 pm: $2.50 wells,
$3.50 micro pints, $1.75 PBR or Rolling
Rock pints.
Green Frog
1015 N. State St., 961-1438
Bacon hour: Get a strip of bacon with
each drink, midnight-1am daily.
Honey Moon
1053 N. State St., 734-0728
Happy hour Tues-Sat 5-7, all day
Monday: $1 off all pours.
Horseshoe/Ranch Room
113 W. Holly, 734-0380
Happy hour Wed-Sun 9am-6pm: Drink
discounts and $5 bar burger all day,
half-price appetizers 6-10. F
Jalapenos Downtown
501 W. Holly St., 671-3099
Happy hour all day Sunday, Mon-Sat
2-5:30 and 9 to close: 20 oz drafts, double wells and small margaritas $4, Big
Mamas $6.50, Mexican bottled beers, 14
oz. drafts, and Alaskan Amber $3, house
wines $3.50, $5 premium tequila shot of
the month. $1 tacos, $4 nachos, quesadillas, mini burritos (add $1 for meat),
$5 jalapeno poppers, dips $2.50/$6 for
three, $12 big nachos. F
The Local
1427 Railroad, 306-3731
Happy hour Sun-Thurs 4-6: Rotating
food specials and $1 off pints and wine
McKay’s Taphouse
1118 E. Maple St., 647-3600
Happy hour daily 11am-6pm: $1 off
draft beers.
New York Pizza & Bar
902 N. State St #105, 733-3171
Happy hour daily 2-6 and 9-close: Micro
pints, margaritas and passion fruit
punch $4, double wells, house wine,
raspberry lemonade and mojitos $5,
manhattans and shaker martinis $6,
classic martinis $7. Extensive food
specials including soups, salads, pulled
pork sliders, personal pizzas, sweet
potato fries, and boneless wings, $3-$7.
F
Old World Deli
1228 State St., 738-2090
Happy hour Thurs-Sat 4-6: $3 Wine, $2
off any sandwich, $1 off any beer over
$3.50. F
On Rice Samish
209 N Samish Way, 714-9995
Happy hour 4-6 daily 11-5: $3 wells and
draft beers, $6.50 specialty drinks, $5
shooters, appetizers including spring
rolls, spicy calamary, and salmon salad
$1.99-$5.99. F
Pickford Film Center
1318 Bay St., 647-1300
Movie hotline: 738-0735
house wine, $5 manhattans and martinis, small plates $3-$10.
The Royal
208 E. Holly St., 738-3701
Cover waived with a taxi receipt or service industry pay stub.
Rumors Cabaret
1119 Railroad, 671-1849
Happy hour daily 6-9: wells and domestic pints, $2
Shakedown
1212 N. State St., 778-1067
Happy hour daily 4-8: Philly steak
sandwich and a micro pint $10, $9 with
falafel. F
The Star Club
311 E. Holly, 927-1938
Happy hour Mon-Fri 4-6: Glass of wine
$3, $5 Old German tallboy with well
shot $5, bottle of bubbly with small
mediterranean plate, $20.
Pickford Limelight Cinema
1416 Cornwall
Happy hour Mon-Fri 4-6: $2 beer, $3
wine.
State Street Bar
1315 N. State St., 733-1619
Happy hour daily 4-8: $3 wells, $1.50
off pitchers, 75 cents off pints (PBR not
discounted).
Poppe’s 360
714 Lakeway Dr, 746-6476
Happy hour daily 4-7 and 9-10: drink
specials and $3-7 appetizers, F
Pure Bliss Desserts
1424 Cornwall, 739-1612
Happy hour all day Monday (noon-6),
Tues-Fri 5-7: Craft beer starting at $3,
wine by the glass starting at $3.50, $1 off
slices of cake.
The Real McCoy
114 Prospect St., 392-8051
Happy hour 4-6 daily: $2 off wine and
cocktails on tap, $1 off house wine,
house cocktails and draft beer. $6 lamb
skewers, beef sliders, crab cakes, wild
mushroom tacos, or pan seared feta. F
Redlight
1017 State St.
Happy hour 4-7 daily: $2 off all cocktails, infusions, and draft beers, free bar
snacks. F
Rock and Rye Oyster House
1145 N. State St. 746-6130
Happy hour 3-6 daily: $5 draft beer, $6
Swillery Whiskey Bar
118 W. Holly, 383-4847
See weekly listings for events.
Temple Bar
306 W. Champion, 676-8660
Bottle from a selection of 4-6 wines and
a little cheese plate or landjaeger $18,
Thin Crust Pizza
and Over 200 Beers
GreenesCorner.com 360.306.8137
Open daily 7am-8pm, later if busy
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
9
HAPPY HOURS
32oz growler of Kulshan beer (rotating
selection) and a little cheese plate or
landjaeger $15, $1 off house cocktails,
$4.50 wells. F
Uisce Irish Pub
1319 Commercial St., 738-7939
Happy hour Mon-Fri 4-7, Sat-Sun 6-7:
$1 off all drinks.
The Underground
211 E Chestnut St., 306-3178
See weekly listings for events.
Vinostrology
120 W. Holly St., 656-6817
Happy hour Mon-Sat 3-6: Bottle of
wine, white bean dip and bread, $14. F
The Waterfront
521 W Holly St., 676-1755
Happy hour daily 8am-2pm and 4-7:
$3.20 wells, $2.50 domestic pounders,
$7.25 domestic pitchers, half price appetizers, pull tab double payout 5-6. Poker
daily, check www.waterfronttavern.com
for details.
Wild Buffalo
208 W Holly St., 746-8733
See weekly listings for events.
HARBOR AREA
Anthony’s Hearthfire Grill
7 Bellwether Way, 527-3473
Happy hour daily 3-6:30: $3.50 draft
beer, wine $5, featured cocktails $5.50.
$5 bar burger, salmon swimmers, spicy
wings, or sausage and pepperoni pizza,
$7 ribs and rings, steak tacos, steak
strips, crab, shrimp and artichoke dip,
or calamari. F
Anthony’s Homeport
10
25 Bellwether Way, 647-5588
Happy hour daily 3-6:30: All draft beer
$3.50, selection of wine by the glass
$5.50 - $7.50, margaritas, martinis, irish
coffee, and specialty cocktails $5.50. Bar
burger and seafood apps like salmon
sliders, mussels and fries, ahi nachos,
and six-pack oysters and prawns, $5. F
Giuseppe’s Al Porto
1 Bellwether Way, 714-8412
Sunday: Regular rocks margarita $2.99,
jumbo $5.99, $3 wells, $3.50 microbrews. Taquitos, nachos, and quesadillas
$4.99 with drink. F
The Loft at Latitude 48.5
1901 Roeder Ave., 306-5668
Happy hour daily 4-6 and 9-11: All draft
beer and house wine $3. Small plates
including salmon cakes, beef or black
bean burger and fries, and steak tacos
$5. F
Nicki’s Bella Marina
615 S. Harbor Loop Dr., 332-2505
Happy hour Mon-Sat 3-6, all day Sunday:
$2.50 wells.
NORTHSIDE
wells $3.75
El Gitano
1125 E. Sunset , 714-1065
Happy hour Mon-Fri 3-6, all day Sunday:
Regular rocks margarita $2.99, jumbo
$5.99, $3 wells, $3.50 microbrews.
Taquitos, nachos, and quesadillas $4.99
with drink. F
Extreme Sports Grill
4156 Meridian St., 647-7066
Happy hour daily 3-6: 50 cents off most
pints, $2.75 Rolling Rock pints, wells
$3.75, house wine $3, personal cheese
pizza, nachos, or potato skins $4, fry
baskets and slider baskets $5. F
Fireside Martini and Wine Bar
416 W. Bakerview, 738-1000
Happy hour Mon-Sat 3-6: $5 martinis,
$4 house wines/wells, $2.50 drafts, $2 off
appetizers. F
Fountain Bistro
1910 Broadway, 778-3671
Happy hour daily 3-6, Tues-Sat 9-close:
$2 off signature cocktails, beer pints and
wine by the glass, small plates, bowl of
soup or fry tornado for $6.
F
Applebee’s
1069 E. Sunset Dr., 671-6000
Happy hour daily 3-6 and 9-close: $3
domestic pints, $4 micro pints, wine, long
islands and margaritas, $5 selected martinis. Half price selected appetizers. F
Greene’s Corner
5305 Northwest Dr., 306-8137
Happy hour: 3-6 Mon-Fri, all day Sat.Sun. $0.50 off wines by the glass, beer
pints and schooners, no corkage fee for
retail beer and wine. Slice of cheese or
pepperoni pizza and a pint or glass of
house wine, $6. F
Bob’s Burgers & Brew
955 Newmarket St., 647-3355
Same as downtown location.
Jalapeno’s Barkley
2945 Newmarket Pl., 778-2041
Same as downtown location. F
Cascade Pizza
2431 Meridian, 671-0999
Happy hour Tues-Sat 11am-6pm: Double
Jeckyl & Hyde
709 W. Orchard Dr., 715-9100
794 Kentucky St., 656-5303
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
HAPPY HOURS
Happy hour Mon-Sat 4-7: Half off appetizers, $3.50 craft beers and $2.50 house
wines. F
Kulshan Brewing
2238 James St., 389-5348
See weekly listings for events.
Little Tokyo
2915 Newmarket Pl., 752-2222
Happy hour Mon-Sat 2-5, Wed 2-4:30:
Appetizers starting at $3, sushi rolls
from $2, $2 off house wine or sake, $1
off large beer or bottle of sake. F
Northside Restaurant
3236 Northwest Ave., 671-1799
Happy hour Mon-Sat 3-7. $3 wells,
$3.50 drafts, $2.50 domestic beer, $1 off
everything else.
On Rice Barkley
2200 Rimland Dr. Suite 100, 738-9995
See Downtown listing. F
Scotty Brown’s
3101 Newmarket St., 306-8823
Happy hour daily 3-6, Fri and Sat 10-12:
$3 off all appetizers, $1 off draft beer,
wine by the glass and Social Sodas/
Palmers, $2 off other cocktails and signature martinis. F
Slo Pitch Sports Grill
3720 Meridian, 733-2255
Happy hour daily 11am-1pm and 4-6,
and 9-10: 1/2 priced select apps, $3
wells, $2.25 domestic drafts. F
Village Inn Pub
3020 Northwest, 734-2490
Happy hour Mon-Wed, Fri & Sun 4-6;
all day Thurs & Sat.: $7.50 pitchers,
$2.50 pints, $3.50 well drinks, $2 off
appetizers. F
Zen Sushi
3001 Cinema Pl., 734-7888
Happy hour Mon-Thurs 2:30-5 and
9-close; Fri-Sun 9:30-close: $1 off all
rolls with purchase of any drink, including soda. F
FAIRHAVEN
AW Asian Bistro
1138 Finnegan Way, 715-3028
Happy hour daily 3-5: $2 Thai iced tea/
coffee and juice, $3 wells, sake and draft
beers, $4 house wine. Appetizers including egg rolls, pot stickers and coconut
prawns $3-5. F
Archer Ale House
1212 Tenth St., 647-7002
Happy Hour Mon-Fri 3-6: $1.00 off
pints, imperial pints, wine, and cocktails; half off appetizers. F
Black Cat
1200 Harris, Ste. 310, 733-6136
Happy hour daily 4-6 and 10-close: $5
wine by the glass, $1 off well drinks and
draft beer, appetizer specials. F
Colophon Cafe
1208 11th St., 647-0092
Happy hour Mon-Fri 3-6: $3.50 appetizers and pints of beer, $2 off wine by the
glass; $5 off bottles. F
Daphne’s
1200 10th St., 733-1311
Happy hour daily 3-6.
Dirty Dan Harris
1211 11th St., 676-1087
Happy hour daily 5-6:30: $4 house wine,
$3 wells, beer, specialty cocktails $5.
Caesar salad $5, beef sliders, crab swimmers, steak bites, cajun calamari, or dry
ribs $6, prime rib dip $10.95. F
Fairhaven Pizza
1307 11th St., 756-7561
Happy hour daily 2-6: $1 off slices and
and beer. F
The Fairhaven Pub
1114 Harris Ave., 778-3400
Happy hour daily 11-6 and 9-11: $3.50
wells, $5 doubles, PBR $1.50 pints/$4
pitchers, $1 off everything else, $2 off
appetizers (no food discount before 4).
F
Fat Pie Pizza
1015 Harris Ave., 366-8090
Happy hour daily 2-6 and 9-close: $2.50
wells, $4 doubles, $3 house wines, $3.50
draft beers, $6 martinis and manhattans, $7 shakers, half price wine bottles,
appetizers including pizza bites, mac
and cheese, and antipasto platter, $3.99$4.99. F
Jalapeno’s Fairhaven
1007 Harris St., 656-6600
Same as downtown location. F
Keenan’s
804 10th St., 392-5510
Happy hour 3-6 daily: Small plates
including a blackened fish taco, beef or
spicy lamb sliders, carnitas and chicken
satay, $3-$9. F
On Rice Fairhaven
1224 Harris Ave, 676-9995
See Downtown listing. F
Skylark’s
1308 11th St., 715-3642
Happy hour Mon-Thurs 4-6 and
10-close: $3 wells, pints, and wine by the
glass, half price appetizers. F
Dos Padres
1111 Harris Ave., 733-9900
Happy hour daily 3-6.
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
11
FOOD AND DRINK
Rock and Rye Oyster House
Yes, we can have nice things
by Tara Almond
I
t’s been a long day. You hate your job.
Maybe your ex-boyfriend just moved
in with your now-ex best friend and
all you can think of is how to get even
with both of them. To top it all off, you’re
stuck in two year lease with a landlord
from hell who refuses to fix anything
and probably won’t give you back your
deposit.
Enter Rock & Rye, a semi-swanky
new restaurant with all the quality of a
craft food and drink establishment but
without all the annoying pretense. This
is, after all, Bellingham. That’s why Rock
& Rye is the perfect place for those who
already graduated from Jell-o shots and
cheap wells but are still somehow scraping by on Whatcom County wages.
calling it sacrilegious. But I think they
must have meant sacrilicious.
Let’s be honest, these are the reasons
we drink. And lucky for you, you’re in
Bellingham, so there’s always good company to be found.
They do this by walking a fine line
between offering higher quality food in
smaller portion sizes and keeping their
prices reasonable. And while nothing on
their dinner menu is over $20, the real
bargains are during happy hour from 3 to
6 p.m., Tuesday through Sunday.
Most of the happy hour specials are
$5 or less and include killer martinis
and manhattans (yes, they are also $5)
but there are several regular menu items
that deserve a happy hour mention as
well. Those include the elk sliders that
come broiled with swiss cheese, pickled
onion and spicy chipotle aioli (3 for $11),
and the shiitake oyster chowder, a rich,
ethereal broth that comes loaded with
mushroomy goodness and plump oysters
(get the cup for $6, it’s huge).
But some of us drink better than others. Yes, you could save money sucking
down Pabst. Or you could crawl out of
your hole, hose yourself off, and spend
a few bucks on a handcrafted cocktail
made with not-so-bottom-shelf liquor
that won’t leave your head feeling like a
balloon the next day.
I brought my lawyer friend along on a
recent visit to advise me which adjectives
would most boost my SEO ratings. I tried
their signature cocktail, the La Paloma
($5), which features 100% agave tequila
with lime, sea salt, and Jarritos grapefruit
soda (the kind made in Mexico
with real sugar). In fact, you can
rest assured none of Rock & Rye’s
house cocktails use bottom-shelf
liquor.
Up there: shiitake oyster chowder. Down here: salmon taco.
The La Paloma was refreshing
and summery but still packed a
nice tequila punch. It also paired
perfectly with the salmon taco
($5), a generous hunk of wild
local salmon nestled in a warm
corn tortilla and topped with
a delightful strawberry-mango
salsa, purple cabbage and creme
fraiche.
It was so good, I was surprised when the bartender
informed me she had several
customers turn their noses up
at the idea of salmon in a taco,
12
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
I decided I needed to wash all of it
down with an order of their house-cut
russet potato fries ($3) that came dusted
with turmeric and served with a side of
red pepper aioli. The fries were a little dry
but for $3 I couldn’t really complain.
You’ll also want to check out their
weekly rotating food and drink specials. I
also tried the celeriac ($6), a dry, slightly
bitter and frothy concoction made with
gin, pineapple, celery bitters and citrus.
My friend called it “light, yet provocative,” though I preferred my description
“fruity, yet vegetable-y.” To which he
responded, “This is why we can’t have
nice things.” But he was wrong. Lucky for
Bellingham, Rock & Rye makes it possible for the rest of us to “have nice things.”
Rock and Rye Oyster House
1145 State St., 360-746-6130
Open: Tue - Thu: 3-11, Fri-Sat
3-midnight, Sun 3-10.
Happy Hour: Tues-Sun 3-6 (see
p.9 for deals).
RANT
Dear Bellingham
I love the smell of asphalt in the morning
by Neill McLaughlin
S
chool’s out for summer! That means
no more pencils, no
more books, no more teachers’ dirty looks . . . unless
you failed a course last
semester and now have to
spend these hot and humid
days attending summer
school.
And let me tell you, it’s
nothing like the infamous
‘80s flick starring the
charismatically cool Mark
Harmon and a ragtag bunch
of adolescent delinquents
who just happen to have the best summer
acceptance through various
wacky adventures that only a
radical substitute teacher can
dispense.
No, summer school is
just like any other semester,
except it sucks way more
than normal.
ever whilst learning the importance
of personal accountability and social
Instead of attending class,
ninety percent of your classmates are swimming, day
drinking, tossin’ the bee at
the park, or dumping ice-cold
water on sunbathing beauties
at the beach in hopes of starting a dialogue
through nervous sexual tension.
continued on p.13
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
13
Weekly Specials and Events
SUNDAY
hour. F
Dos Padres: $2.75 margaritas.
Archer Ale House: Trivia at 7. ?
Nicki’s Bella Marina: All day happy hour.
Bellingham Bar & Grill: All day happy
hour. F
Poppe’s 360: Music on the patio at 6, $15
bottles of rose´all day.
Grand Avenue Ale House: Industry
night -- happy hour prices for food service workers.
Bob’s Burger & Brew, downtown: All
day happy hour. F
Redlight: Top shelf whiskey half off
during happy hour (4-7). Game night –
board and card games, 8pm-midnight.
Boundary Bay Brewery: Trivia at 5:30 ?
Cabin Tavern: Acoustic live music at 7.
Cafe Akroteri: All day happy hour. F
Casa Que Pasa: $4.50 bloody marys,
mimosas and lime rocks margaritas.
Scotty Brown’s: $2 caesars and mimosas.
Shakedown: All day happy hour, Stitch &
Bitch knit and crochet meetup 4-7, Geek
Trivia at 7. ? F
Star Club: Cabaret night at 7:30.
Cascade Pizza: Double wells $3.25, 50
cents off beer, wine and top shelf all day.
Swillery Whiskey Bar: Comedy open
mic every other Sunday 8-11. C
Cliff House Restaurant: All day happy
hour. F
Temple Bar: All day happy hour. F
Copper Hog: Industry night, 20% off
everything with service industry paystub.
Dos Padres: $4 bloody marys and
caesars.
Village Inn Pub: Free pool 1-9; $3.95
burgers 4-8. F
The Waterfront: Ladies night - happy
hour 4-close, $4 Fireball shots. F
Grand Avenue Ale House: $4 bloody
marys, PBR pitcher, or chili dog, $2.50
wells. F
MONDAY
Applebee’s: Any burger with fries and a
domestic pint $6, 4-close. F
Bellingham Bar and Grill: Karaoke at
10. K
Green Frog: Open mic, 8pm.
Cap’s Lounge: $3 micro pints 7-close.
Greene’s Corner: All day happy hour. F
Casa Que Pasa: $3 microbrews and $4
nicaraguans.
Horseshoe/Ranch Room: $2 micros,
$1.50 Bud drafts 8-midnight, industry
night 9-close.
Jalapenos – all locations: All day happy
hour. F
New York Pizza & Bar: All day happy
14
Honey Moon: All day happy hour.
Kulshan Brewing: Trivia at 7. ?
New York Pizza & Bar: $10 burger and a
draft beer. F
Northside Restaurant: Burger and fries
$5.95. F
Poppe’s 360: $6 burgers, $3 Bud Light, $4
Fireball. Trivia at 7. ? F
Pure Bliss Desserts: Happy hour all day.
Redlight: $5 martinis, manhattans,
margaritas, moscow mules, and Makers
Mark whiskey all night, half off top shelf
rum 4-7.
Rumors Cabaret: Karaoke at 10. K
El Gitano: All day happy hour. F
The Fairhaven Pub: All day happy hour,
all-ages karaoke 3-7. F K
Green Frog: $4 margaritas 4-7, live
music at 7, Guffawingham comedy open
mic 9:30.
Cascade Pizza: Double wells $3.25, 50
cents off beer, wine and top shelf all day.
Chuckanut Brewery: $3 pints 6-close.
Copper Hog: Pitcher of any $5/pint beer
and small sausage plate, $20. F
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
Scotty Brown’s: $2 off mojitos, $5 off
bottles of wine.
Shakedown: Tom Waits Night, 9-close.
$3 gimlet or bourbon on the rocks and a
Lucky Strike. Also industry night — $1
off everything over $3 for service industry workers.
Slo Pitch Sports Grill: $2.50 burgers, $4
garlic fries from 6-9. F
The Swillery: House band Less Talk.
Village Inn Pub: $1.95 tacos 4-8. F
Vinostrology: Food and wine trivia at
7. ?
WEEKLY SPECIALS
Star Club: Open mic.
Little Tokyo: Sushi nigiri from $1, 5-7.
Bob’s Burger and Brew: Trivia at 8. ?
Swillery Whiskey Bar: Trivia 8-10, video
DJ dance party at 10. ?
McKay’s Taphouse: Trivia at 7:30. ?
Cabin Tavern: Free bingo at 7.
Uisce: Trivia at 8. ?
Cap’s Lounge: $4.50 Jameson and
Maker’s Mark 7-close.
The Waterfront: Industry day - $5.00
long islands, $4 fireball shots, plus happy
hour special all day. F
TUESDAY
Casa Que Pasa: $6 Tecate and shot of 2
Fingers Gold.
Chuckanut Brewery: $1.50 kolsch
glasses 5-close.
Copper Hog: Rotating taco specials and
$2 Tecate. F
Dos Padres: $7.25 mondo margaritas.
Glow: In Night Out. Retro games and
movies, drink specials, and comedy. C
Grand Avenue Ale House: $3.00 PBR
pitchers, micro pints, well drinks, or fry
basket, 9-midnight. F
Wild Buffalo: Comedy in the Buff is on
the 2nd Tues. of the month at 9. C
Bellingham Bar and Grill: Progressive
wells start at 75 cents at 9, go up 50 cents
every half hour.
Scotty Brown’s: $5 off bottles of wine.
Cap’s Lounge: Wednesday: $4 lemon
drops 7-close.
Chuckanut Brewery: Buy a pint, get the
second for $2.25 6-close.
Redlight: Half off top shelf gin 4-7, $3
well shots, $4 well drinks, $5 mojitos, $6
double wells all night.
Dos Padres: $2 double-it.
The Fairhaven Pub: All day happy hour,
$7 burger with fries and a small pitcher
of PBR. F
Glow: Whatever’s Clever Variety Show
on the third Wednesday.
F = Food specials
? = Trivia
C = Comedy
Grand Avenue Ale House: Burger, fries,
and pint of PBR $6, 5-10. F
Rumors Cabaret: $1 wells and $2.25 PBR
pitchers 9-11, $1 High Life 9-close.
Green Frog: $4 well drinks 4-7, Bacon
and Beats with DJ WillDaBeast at 10 .
Scotty Brown’s: $2 off bellinis.
Horseshoe/Ranch Room: $3 Absolut
and Stoli 8-midnight.
Slo Pitch: $1 Tacos from 6-9pm. F
Slo Pitch Sports Grill: Wing night,
wings 29 cents each. F
Copper Hog: Bottle of wine and small
meat, cheese and olive plate, $20. F
The Royal: $2 wells and $6 pitchers
9-midnight, karaoke at 10. K
Shakedown: Costume karaoke at 10. K
Redlight: Half off top shelf vodka 4-7.
Rumors Cabaret: $1.25 pints and $3.75
Fireball 9-close, $2 wells 11-midnight.
The Local: Cribbage night.
Poppe’s 360: Open mic at 7:30, $6 pork
tacos, $5 margaritas, $1 off all tequila. F
Poppe’s 360: Live music at 6, , patio
barbecue 5-8.
Archer Ale House: 20% off all whiskey,
all day.
Casa Que Pasa: $5.50 Tarantula margaritas, $5 spider bites.
Northside Restaurant: Half price appetizers, $3.50 drafts. F
Northside Restaurant: Steak night - 7
oz. sirloin, baked potato and green salad
$10.95. F
The Royal: Progressive wells starting
from 50 cents at 8, $1 at 9, $2 at 10.
WEDNESDAY
Green Frog: $3 pints, $2 barbecue tacos,
Soul Night with DJ Yogoman at 9:30.
New York Pizza: $8 10” pizza, $5 doubles. F
New York Pizza: $2 off all whiskey.
K = Karoake
M = Live music
I = Industry
Honey Moon: Open mic at 8:30, signups
start at 5.
Addresses are listed in the happy
hours section by neighborhood.
All phone numbers are in area
code 360.
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
15
WEEKLY SPECIALS
Shakedown: Heavy Rotation dance party
at 9 – $1 drink specials.
The Royal: $1.50 wells and $3.50 microbrew pounders, 9-midnight.
Swillery Whiskey Bar: Karaoke at 9. K
Rumors Cabaret: Throwback Thursday
retro dance hits and old school music
videos, 10-1. $1 wells and $2.25 Rainier
pitchers 9-11, $2 wells 11-1.
The Underground: EDM night, $2 tallboys (rainier, PBR, Olympia and Rolling
Rock) and $3 wells.
Wild Buffalo: Hula hoop happy hour
7:30 – 9:30, $2 Rainier tall boys, $2 wells,
$3 pints. Wild Out Wednesday 9:30-1:30.
THURSDAY
Boundary Bay Brewery: Happy hour
BBQ with Robert Sarazin Black, 4pm in
the beer garden.
Cap’s Lounge: El Jimador $4.50,
Hornitos $4 7-close.
Casa Que Pasa: $5 Pabst and shot of
Pancho Villa Gold.
Copper Hog: $3 wells all day.
The Fairhaven Pub: Karaoke at 8:30. K
Scotty Brown’s: $2 off margaritas.
Shakedown: Showdown at the
Shakedown battle of the bands at 10, late
night happy hour, 12:30-close: $1 off all
drinks.
Swillery Whiskey Bar: Live music with
house band Juniper Stills.
Green Frog: $3 house sangria 4-7.
The Waterfront: Progressive well night 7-7:30 $2.50, 7:30-8 $2.75, 8 till close $3,
with appetizer order.
FRIDAY
Boundary Bay Brewery: Fish fry in the
beer garden, 4-8.
Cap’s Lounge: $4.50 Jaeger shots 7-close.
El Gitano: Karaoke at 9. K
Redlight: Half off top shelf tequila 4-7.
16
Village Inn Pub: Half price appetizers
4-8, karaoke at 9. K F
SATURDAY
El Gitano: Karaoke at 9. K
New York Pizza: Tequila and taco
Thursday - $3 margaritas, taco and quesadilla plates $5-$7 all day. F
Poppe’s 360: Ladies night at 9, $6 mac and
cheese, $7 banh mi, $2 off shaker drinks, dj
on the patio at 8. F
The Underground: $2 tallboys and $3
wells until 11. $5 Long Islands and $5 Sex
on the Beach all night.
Village Inn Pub: All day happy hour,
open jam session with Texas Jimmy D at
8. F M
Casa Que Pasa: $6 Hornitos refreshers.
Old World Deli: No corkage fee 6-8.
Scotty Brown’s: $3 off pitchers of beer.
Casa Que Pasa: $7 cadillac margaritas.
Horseshoe/Ranch Room: $3.50 Mai
Tais, $1.50 Rainier and Pabst tallboys,
8-midnight. Free bingo at 8.
Northside Restaurant: Taco night - 3
tacos/$2, taco salad $6.95, margaritas $3. F
Rumors Cabaret: $2 tallboys 4-close. $3
Long Island iced teas 9-midnight.
The Underground: Trivia at 8, beer pong
tournament at 10, $3.50 micros and $3
wells. ?
Glow: $2 Pabst. $2 wells until 11.
Grand Avenue Ale House: $3 Rolling
Rock pitchers, 9-midnight.
and $2 wells 9-11.
Chuckanut Brewery: $8 liter steins.
Glow: $5 mystery drink. $2 wells until 11.
Green Frog: $3 pints 4-7.
Horseshoe/Ranch Room: $3.50 Server’s
choice.
New York Pizza: $6.50 Long Islands.
Poppe’s 360: Live music at 9.
The Royal: Ladies night, $3.50 micros
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
Dos Padres: $4.50 double driver.
Glow: $2 Pabst, $5 mystery drinks. $2
wells until 11.
Grand Avenue Ale House: $2.00 off
micro pitchers with 18 wings, 5-10. F
Horseshoe/Ranch Room: $3.50 Server’s
choice.
Jalapenos Barkley: Karaoke at 10. K
New York Pizza: $6.50 black opals.
Poppe’s 360: $2 off doubles from 4-9, live
music at 9.
The Royal: $2 wells 9-11.
Temple Bar: Gypsy jazz with Bar Tabac,
second Saturday of the month.
The Underground: $5 AMFs and $5 jolly
ranchers.
Village Inn Pub: S8 oz. steak with potato
and salad. $11.95 4-8. Happy hour all day.
Comedy open mic is the second and last
Saturday of every month at 8, jazz with
the Spencetet house band every third
Saturday. F C
Bellingham Confession
of the Month
art by David T.
I never liked the Ramones.
Shower Beer: a love story
A
by Ryan O’Leary
bout a year ago, I realized that
most drinking activities have
become a bit stale. Flip cup,
king’s cup, beer pong, dice, shotgunning,
etc. are boring. The only drinking games
I enjoy now are like “drink every time
they say ‘fuck’ during the Big Lebowski.”
First, turn the shower on to get the
steam going, and grab a beer out of the
fridge. If you don’t have beer, you’ve
made a huge mistake. Next, get your
preferred weed paraphernalia (you have
weed, right?) and lock yourself in the
bathroom.
This aside, one drinking tradition that
should be universally appreciated is the
shower beer. While I certainly did not
invent this pastime, I have embraced it
with a convert’s zeal.
Like the privileged American that you
are, let the hot water run for a while so
you can get that spa vibe going. Take a
massive dump. Start whistling or singing
your favorite tune from your after-party
last night. Smoke the weed that you may
or may not have. Do these things in no
particular order at this point, because it’s
your time to shine.
So, you’re hungover and have to get
ready for work. You’re not sure if you
want to hit the liquor right away because,
honestly, hair of the dog is a bit overrated
(and you don’t want to smell like liquor).
But you feel like a shower and maybe
smoking a little bit of weed. In this situation, here’s what I do.
When you’re finally ready to step in,
make sure you have a high place to set
your beer. I also encourage drinking out
of a can instead of a bottle. Shit might
get real and ruin your morning if you get
broken glass in the tub.
Do your usual routine, but live by this
cardinal shower beer rule: you have to
finish it before you get out. Trust me, I’ve
broken this rule before and, frankly, it’s
just not the same.
If you want to take it to the next
level, track your progress by keeping
your empty beers. I once (or twice . . .
or three times) made a menorah-esque
arrangement of beer cans. One tall can
in the middle and four on each side. Get
creative. These are your trophies now.
Let’s face it, you’re going to be drinking
for the remainder of the summer anyway.
Expand your horizons.
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
17
Tap This
Make.Shift Block Party
August 2, noon-9
Grand and Flora
There’ll be gladiator jousting, a giant diy slip-and-slide, a
multi-brewery beer garden, climbing wall, and live music. And
for those who really like to live on the edge, open-air punk-rock
haircuts from Toni and Guy.
Subdued Stringband
Jamboree
August 7-10
Deming Log Show Grounds
Three days of bluegrass and dancing,
three nights of campfire jam sessions.
Bonus points if you can load your your
gear on your bike: cyclists camp for free.
18
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
Summer Meltdown
August 7-10
Whitehorse Amphitheatre
Darrington, WA
Headliners Allen Stone and Black
Joe Lewis work different sides of the
neo-soul coin, while Sir Mix-a-Lot
will presumably be sticking to the
backside. 10% of ticket sales go to
relief for victims of the Oso landslide.
August
Happenings
NW Harvest Fest
August 22-23
Bow, WA
You’ll find marijuana at every music
festival, but here it is the raison d’etre,
culminating in the Harvest Cup
Awards.
Hawthorne Heights
August 24
Hey, emo! Now that you’re old
enough to drink, you might enjoy a
new perspective on HH’s The Silence
in Black and White album, performed
onstage in its entirety.
1415 RAILROAD AVE
tequila
OF THE
MONTH
AUGUST 2014
!
Black $5.50
REGULAR $6.50
Dark caramel in color, Cuervo's
signature oak barrel Anejo is
sweet and smokey with
chocolate and vanilla accents
and a pleasant maple aftertaste.
TRY IT ON THE ROCKS WITH COLA
AND A TWIST OF LIME FOR A
REFRESHING MEXI-COLA ($5.50).
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
19
ASTROLOGY
Astro Chat
Hey baby, what’s your sign?
by Kat Bula
H
appy Leo season! Since Leo is
the sun’s home sign, this is as
good a time as any to talk about
the sun in astrology. You already know
your sun’s sign: it’s the one you’ve been
told is “your sign,” although really you
have many astrological signs.
First of all, let’s clarify a few things that
you should NOT expect from your sun
sign:
•
It doesn’t, by itself, do a very good
job of summing up your complexity.
Obviously.
•
It doesn’t let you off the hook for
working on hard stuff (logic, sharing,
honesty, faithfulness, etc.)
•
In most cases, it’s not something
most people would be able to guess
about you when they first meet you.
Ever notice how people who try to
guess your (sun) sign usually guess it
wrong? Like, way wrong? So you tell
them your actual sign, and they’re all like,
“oh, yeah . . . I guess I sort of see it . . . ”
Here’s the deal: your sun sign describes
an inner experience. It’s your rising sign
that speaks to your more-or-less conscious strategies for interacting with the
world. So the rising sign is the one other
people tune into.
Problem is, rising signs make terrible
party banter. No one knows their rising
sign, unless they’ve typed their exact time
and place of birth into some software.
And that software didn’t even exist yet
in the ‘60s, when people started using
astrology to hit on each other.
So think for a minute about the most
positive associations you’ve heard for
your sun sign. Are you embodying those
things?
Think, too, of the negative associations.
What’s the underlying desire that would
lead someone to do the shitty thing you’re
Ever notice how people who try to guess your
(sun) sign usually guess it wrong?
Like, way wrong?
So unless someone had paid a pro to
do the painstaking calculations by hand,
they wouldn’t know their rising sign,
rendering it useless as a pickup line.
Enter the sun sign as our common language for astrology-as-entertainment. All
you need to know is your birthday, and
you can quickly find out your sun sign,
with maybe 99% accuracy. (I do have a
Leo ex who thinks he’s a Virgo, because
the newspapers say so, but he was actually born two hours too early for Virgo.)
Want to find out your rising sign? It’s
not hard if you have your birth time.
Check out downtoearthastrology.com/hottip for instructions.
Let’s get back to what I said about your
sun sign describing an inner experience.
Specifically, your sun sign symbolizes
the things that energize you. It’s what
20
you need to be healthy and happy and
creative and radiate awesomeness into
the world. Not to put too fine a point on
it: when you don’t “do your sun sign,”
depression typically results.
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
being accused of? Now, how are you
expressing—or repressing—the healthy
version of that desire in your own life?
Here are some buzzwords to get you
started:
Aries: assertiveness, action, spontaneity.
Taurus: comfort, security, sexytimes.
Gemini: intellectual stimulation, novelty.
Cancer: trust, nesting, nourishment.
Leo: play, self-expression, attention.
Virgo: order, productivity, service.
Libra: logic, likeability, beauty.
Scorpio: trust, honesty, depth.
Sagittarius: adventure, freedom, morality, learning.
Capricorn: achievement, productivity,
authority.
Aquarius: rationality, social progress,
individual freedom.
Pisces: compassion, vision, spiritual
seeking.
CROSSWORD
The X Word
by Kate Parker
Across
1. Lowest female or highest
male voice
5. Coffee shop, bistro
9. Greek letters
1
2
3
4
7
8
9
14
15
17
18
19
20
25
15. Hebrew letters (and great
Scrabble word) (var.)
30
17. Send forth
37
26
28
31
22. Mites and ticks
32
42
45
49
12
16
29
38
20. Bell peppers, in Brisbane
11
24
27
41
10
22
21
23
14. Mountains in western
Russia
19. Inuit boat
6
13
13. Money in Italy, before
the euro
18. Clobber, knock out
5
39
35
36
56
57
58
44
47
50
34
40
43
46
33
48
51
52
23. Surgical robot
24. Make reparation
25. Comme ci, comme ca
53
54
55
59
60
61
62
63
64
66
67
28. Tower in Paris
30. Away from the sea
32. Water closet
65
33. Hat store in the mall
37. Cry to fox-hunting hounds
39. Dress parts
63. Labor
11. Pertaining to bees
41. Old-timey shoe accessory
64. Glasses part
12. Partake
42. Mimic
65. "Que sera, ___"
44. Permanent employment,
like with professors
66. A single occasion
16. Runner used on snow or
water
45. Cured sausage
Down
48. Egyptian cobras
1. Baldwin or Guinness
24. "Strange things are ____ at
the Circle K."
49. Bangkok bucks
2. Capital of Peru
25. Kind of pea
51. And others
3. Journey, with
hallucinogenic drugs perhaps
26. Spanish stew pot
53. Bible character swallowed
by a whale
67. U2 guitarist
21. Verbal, dramatic, or
situational
43. Transcendentalist author or
affordable clock radio brand
46. Greek equivalent to
Minerva
49. Dorky western ties
27. Pepper mill's friend
4. Cereal grains
29. Watch pocket
5. Historical capital of Peru
59. Similar
30. It's a possessive pronoun
6. Get excited
60. Of Skye or of Man
31. Arabic letters
7. 1999 TLC album
61. Archer's spy agency
8. What the British call moose
34. What a six year old might
get you to spell
62. Louisa May Alcott's Little
_____
9. Store brand of Wal-Mart
50. Akira and Mobile Suit
Gundam Wing
52. Anoint (archaic)
53. Face part
54. One of the Jackson 5
35. The responsible one on
Workaholics
36. Direction
40. Hands out playing cards
47. Type sloping to the right
54. Alter by alchemy
10. Gin drink
38. What they yell at
HomeSkillet when opening
bubbly
55. 1760 yards
56. Pre-owned
57. The ___ Tings
58. Being (Lat.)
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
21
SEX
Crotch Talk
Strange deposits to the spank bank
by Crystal McIntyre
Dear Crotch Talk:
I’m a 25-year-old straight single male.
I drink occasionally and don’t do any
drugs, prescription or otherwise. I’m in
good health and decent shape. I have
been single for about a year now, after a
three year relationship fizzled out. Our
sex life was pretty normal and we had sex
fairly regularly.
year and had something strange happen
to me.
I saw some leather daddies and I got
super turned on by them. I’ve started
thinking about them every time I masturbate now, and have looked up porn
images (but can’t quite watch movies of
I have this
friendquaintance
who I like to picture
shirtless, wearing
tight baseball pants,
getting spanked.
Why? No fucking
clue.
My problem is that for about the last
six months I have been totally disinterested in sex, or even masturbating. I
don’t get why. Could there be something
wrong with me? I’m freaked out that I am
never gonna have a libido again. Should I
see a doctor?
Dear Reader:
First of all, thank you, you precious
kitten, for giving me so much helpful
info! Second, gear down, big rig. You’re
probably fine.
Libidos have a way of rollercoastering
throughout our entire lives. Hormone
changes, life changes, stress, depression,
on and on and on, can all affect your
horny meter. Going through a
big breakup can definitely affect the
libido.
Getting a check-up may help to ease
your mind and settle those worries for
you. Stressing about it won’t help. So,
sure, see a doctor and ease your mind,
okay? Pump the brakes on the worries
and when you’re ready, find some sweet
poon to pump instead.
Dear Crotch Talk:
I’m a twenty-something lesbian who
went to a couple of pride activities this
22
them). I’ve never really been turned on
by men before. I know sexuality is fluid
and all that, but it’s really throwing me
for a loop. I don’t want to talk to any of
my friends about it. Any advice?
Dear Reader:
Mmmmmm . . . leather daddies . . .
mmmmm. Thank the stars above for
leather daddies. I don’t think you should
put so much stock in this digging leather
daddies thing. So what? You know about
the sexuality spectrum. This is just part
of that.
Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
Do I think it means you’re secretly
bisexual or not even a lesbian now? No.
Do I think it means you want to start
wearing leather? Probably not. I think
it means it turned you on, and that’s it.
Maybe it’s the aesthetics of the whole
thing. The leather. The machismo. It’s a
powerful look. You’ve been masturbating
to them every time recently because it’s
new, exciting, and taboo.
It will probably be around in your
spank bank less frequently (eventually).
I’ve got all sorts of weird shit in mine that
I just happen to like for some reason or
another and I don’t feel bad about it. I
have this friendquaintance who I like to
picture shirtless, wearing tight baseball
pants, getting spanked. Why? No fucking
clue.
I hate cigars, but seeing gay cigar
daddies is a total panty peeler to me.
Especially if they’re wearing leather
gloves. Why? Not a single clue. It’s just
some shit I think is hot. And leather
daddies are hot to you. Embrace all your
safe and consensual perversions, darling.
You don’t have to pursue them and make
them a reality if you don’t want to. But
there’s no need to suppress your desire
to look and self-love to leather daddies!
Keep on jerking, y’all.
P.S. I know you said you haven’t watched
any leather daddy porn, but if you
YouTube Police Academy Blue Oyster
Bar scene and use it as J.O. material,
I’m pretty sure that makes you my new
favorite person.
RANT
continued from p.13
everything’s working out all right, while
other times it looks like no one has
shown up for weeks due to a variety of
excuses and negligence.
It’s a lonely and shitty situation that
requires blood, sweat, and tears. Not
unlike summertime construction.
During these long days, most construction sites seem barren or only
halfway completed, while others display
the abandonment issues of a latchkey
kid in Kendall. Sometimes it looks like
It’s a lonely and
shitty situation
that requires
blood, sweat, and
tears. Not unlike
summertime road
construction.
breaks. Maybe it’s because they are inhaling toxic fumes from molten pavement
or atomized metals.
I have nothing against the men and
women sweating through the hottest of
seasons to create a more enticing cityscape. In actuality, I applaud them.
But unlike ruining young lives,
city construction has a firm due date.
Bellingham seems to be over the
deadline or swiftly approaching one
(ahem, college students return in about a
months time, so things have to wrap up
or else the people will revolt).
Not too many people purposefully
choose to forego education for a steady
career in manual labor. If they work hard
enough, they might get to be the one
sitting behind the wheel of the heavy
machinery, trading physical exertion for
mechanical power and air conditioning.
You can’t rip open a street and then
play hooky without the community
noticing. When they finally do get back
to work, it causes a clusterfuck akin to a
water park on a hot day. . . loud, annoying, congested lines.
So the next time you see an unattended work site, remember, even
though roadwork may not be rocket
science, it takes some time to create all
those beautiful and useful structures.
Even though it may not look like anything is getting done, trust me. . . there’s
some guy named Chainsaw taking a
much needed smoke break not too far
from there.
I understand that everyone needs a
break from the sweltering heat to replenish physically and mentally, especially
when the work can only get done during
the sunny summertime. But it seems like
construction sites take more freedom
than most when it comes to cigarette
X Word Solution
B
J O
A L
W O
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A
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Bellingham on Tap - August 2014
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C A
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A L A
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Bellingham on Tap - August 2014