Short Stories

Transcription

Short Stories

PLEASE - SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS
Submit your FREE classified with pictures at:
http://www.pattayatrader.com
Page 11
AIR CONDITIONING
AIR CON SYSTEMS
A.R.C. Airconditioning
Tel................................... 038 716 868
Silver Hawk Engineering.
Tel ..................................089 406 7878
Pensit & Laws
Tel................................. 038 233 391-2
TBAC
Tel.: .............................. 038 489 074-5
Fax: ................................ 038 489 076
AVIVA AIR
Tel.................................. 089 403 199
The German Thai Group
Real Estate & Insurance Department
Tel.: .................... +66 (0)38 427 364-5
Fax: ...................... +66 (0)38 420 721
APARTMENT/CONDOS
BOOK SHOPS
Nova Park Executive Apartments
Tel................................. 038 415 304-8
DK Book Shop
Tel.................................. 089 936 4800
AUTOMOBILE DEALERS
Auto Exchange
Tel.................................... 038 377 655
Tel.................................. 089 992 2255
Pattaya Beach Books
Tel.................................... 038 362 175
Tel.................................. 089 831 5295
Unity Car Rentals
Tel.................................... 038 373 254
CLEANING SERVICES
Home Care Cleaning
Tel. .................................089 833 0352
Tel.....................................038 425 568
CLOTHING
Boutique Sexy
Tel.................................... 038 726 922
CLUBS
Pattaya Expats Club
Tel...................................081 815 4580
Pattaya Sports Club
Tel.................................... 038 361 167
Pattaya Drinking Water
Tel................................. 038 425 270-1
DEVELOPERS
Areeya Villa
Tel................................. 038 733 320-1
Baan Chalita
Tel.................................. 089 608 3003
Country Properties
Tel.....................................038 737 018
Mike Orchid Villas 2
Tel................................... 038 376 939
Seaboard Properties
Tel.................................... 038 252 456
Town & Country Developers
Tel................................. 086-666-7238
Thai Garden Resort
Tel................................. 038 370 614-8
Tel..................................038 424 356
INSURANCE
AA Insurance
Tel.....................................038 415 795
Tel.....................................038 415 796
BT. Insurance
Tel................................. 038 420 278-9
BU PA Blue Cross Agent
Tel.................................. 089 832 1998
Tel.................................. 086 603 9472
TBAC
Tel.: .............................. 038 489 074-5
Fax: .............................. 038 489 076
BUS LINES
COMPUTER
The German-Thai Group
Tel................................. 038 427 364-5
Garage Sale
Tel.................................... 038 377 630
Nakorn Chai Air
Tel.................................... 038 424 871
EXPAT COMPUTER SERVICES
Tel .................................089 886 5445
Viewtalay Marina
Tel................................. 038 706 355-8
Tel.:................... +66 (0)38 427 364 - 5
Fax:........................ +66 (0)38 420 721
email: [email protected]
Second Hand Center
Tel.................................. 081 828 5219
Fax.................................. 038 300 959
Roong Reung Coach
Tel.................................... 038 429 877
BTS Computer Services
Tel ..................................038 370 633
ELECTRIC APPLIANCE REPAIRING
LAND SCAPE GARDENERS
Wranglers Harley-Davidson
Tel.................................... 038 373 169
BUSINESS SPECIALISTS
Liberty Computers Pattaya
Tel....................................038 360 400
Sony Service Center
Tel................................... 038 420 151-3
Venus Roonlee
Tel.................................... 038 237 053
Tel.................................... 038 238 247
Tel.................................. 081 991 1318
ARCHITECT SERVICES
ACI
Tel.................................... 038 416 060
Fax.................................. 038 416 061
Office for Interior & Architecture Co
Tel ..................................087 403 6624
Fax .................................038 252 519
World PM Co. Ltd
Tel...................................084 434 5861
BANKS
Super Consultants
Tel ....................................038 723 871
Tel...................................081 622 0128
TBAC
Tel.: .............................. 038 489 074-5
Fax: ................................ 038 489 076
Tel.: ...................+66 (0)38 427 364 - 5
Fax: ......................+66 (0)38 420 721
GARAGE & RECOVERY
Bangkok Bank
Tel................................. 038 374 840-3
Pattaya Car Checkpoint Co.,Ltd.
Tel.................................... 038 716 756
Tel.................................. 081 340 3184
Bank Of Ayudhaya
Tel................................. 038 426 907-8
CABLE & SAT SERVICE
Thai Farmer Bank
Tel................................. 038 427 695-7
Western Union
Tel................................038 361 361-2
BUSINESS SERVICES
ABC Asian Business Consulting
Co.
Tel.................................... 038 414 436
Tel.................................. 081 862 7936
B.S.S. Business Support Services
Tel.................................... 038 713 383
Tel.....................................038 713 052
C.A.T Accounting and Tax
Tel.................................. 081 801 7781
Tel............................... 038 301 019-20
Pattaya Business Centre
Tel ....................................038 425 884
Tel ..................................085 094 4778
Banglamung Cable TV
Tel.................................... 038 225 454
Jomtien Cable TV
Tel.................................... 038 232 444
Sophon Cable TV
Tel.................................... 038 423 777
Wattana Computer
Tel................................. 038 374 073-6
Tel................................. 038 421 786-7
CONSTRUCTION
Thailim Kanchang
Tel...................................... 038 420 392
Business Support Services
Tel................................. 038 713 383
Tel.................................. 081 171 5492
ACI
Tel.................................... 038 416 060
ELECTRIICAL SERVICE
PCD Consultants
Tel.................................... 038 422 825
Albartec Co.,Ltd
Tel.................................... 038 412 815
Global Design & Build
Tel: ........................+66 (0) 38 373 966
Fax: .......................+66 (0) 38 373517
ISS Construction
Tel................................... 038 428 929
Tel................................... 038 428 910
Marina’s Guest House
Tel.....................................087 150 7415
Tel ....................................086 814 1177
HOME DECORATION/GIFTS
Q.B.E Insurance Agent
Tel.................................. 089 832 1998
Tel.................................. 086 603 9472
COUNSELING
Euro Design
Tel.............. 038 300 654, 038 300 425
The German-Thai Group
Tel................................. 038 427 364-5
David Meador
Tel................................. 087 011 3839
Hafele Showroom
Tel................................. 038 332 485-6
DOOR & WINDOWS
Kitchen Studio
Tel.................................... 038 252 315
Fax.................................. 038 252 316
Lohr Trade & Consulting Pts.,Ltd.
Tel................................. 038 367 594-5
CAR RENTAL COMPANIES
Albartec Co.,Ltd.
Tel.................................... 038 412 815
Holiday Rent - A - Cars
Tel.....................................038 426 303
Tel.................................. 081 861 6600
GUESTHOUSE
Plan B Business Solution Ltd.
Tel.....................................038 252 898
Tel...................................086 303 1632
Fax..................................038 252 899
Thai Living.net
Tel .................................038 364 514-5
Fax ..................................038 364 056
Adept PVC
Tel.................................. 089 862 3147
DV Car Rental
Tel & ..........038 371 484..038 371 482
Mobile: ... 081-994 8420, 086 0979590
European Painting & Electrical
Tel: ................................. 081 862 1132
Decorum Furniture & Decoration
Tel................038 410 763, 038 420 203
U.B.C
Tel................................. 038 383 570-1
Car Rent 990
Tel..................................038 231 163
Mob................................084 877 9328
School For The Handicapped
Tel...................................... 038 42 745
UPVC Windows and Doors
Tel. .................................089 785 5151
EuroPVC Windows & Doors
Tel. .................................081 762 8402
Tel. ..................................038 378 302
Tryba PVC Doors & Windows
Tel...................................084 665 7036
DRINKING WATER
Progress Kitchen
Tel................................. 038 252 377
Tel...................................089 832 6325
HOTELS
Little Hill Resort & Restaurant
Tel.................................... 038 734 484
Queen Victoria Inn
Tel.................................... 038 425 418
The Haven
Tel................................. 038 710 988-9
INSULATION
ARC Insulation .............038 716 676-8
INTERIOR DESIGNERS
ACI
Tel.................................... 038 416 060
Fax.................................. 038 416 061
Nobel Kitchen & Design
Tel....................................038 252 882
Fax...................................038 252 883
LAWYERS & LEGAL ADVISORS
C.A.T.
Tel............................... 038 300 019-20
Tel.................................. 081 801 7781
If you do find a wrong number, please contact the Trader Tel: 038 716 390 - 038 716 986 - Fax: 038 716 985
Easy Visa
Tel.................................... 038 414 475
Tel.................................. 081 983 4182
Golden Home Real Estate
Tel..................................038 720 892-3
Pattaya Sport Club
Tel..................................... 038 361 167
Ideal Homes
Tel..................................... 038 410 501
Tel..................................... 038 710 557
Northern Thai Realty
Tel..................................... 038 426 242
Tel..................................... 038 425 836
The Mini Golf Pub
Tel..................................... 038 250 318
SPORT PROMOTERS
Amari Orchid Resort
Tel..................................... 038 428 161
Silvermover Company Ltd.
Web design and Hosting
Tel...................................086 0888 744
Tel.....................................038 251 775
IT MECHANICS.COM
Tel.....................................038 412 159
Fax...................................038 723 383
Dusit Resort Sport & Fitness Club
Tel.................................. 038 425 611-7
Western Web Design Co.Ltd
Tel...................................089 886 5445
N.1 Visa Service
Tel: ...................................038 360 204
Edelweiss
Tel.................................... 038 427 577
Fatties Restaurant & Bar
Tel.................................. 087 804 9493
.
Globetrotter
Tel..................................... 038 423 167
Real Estate & Insurance Department.
Tel.:................... +66 (0)38 427 364 - 5
Fax:.................. +66 (0)38 420 721
Little Hill Resort & Restaurant
Tel.................................... 038 734 484
Mata Hari
Tel..................................... 038 259 799
Mike Orchid Villas
Tel..................................... 038 376 939
Tel................................... 089 748 3580
LIMOUSINE SERVICE & TAXI
Moon River Pub
Tel................................. 038 370 614-8
Tel................................. 038 424 356
One Stop Real Estate
Tel..................................... 038 710 699
Tel..................................... 038 710 725
Queen Victoria
Tel..................................... 038 425 418
Pattaya Paradise City Property Co.
Ltd.
Tel: .........................+66 (0) 38 373 966
Fax: .........................+66 (0) 38 373517
KEN International Law Office
Tel ...................................038 416 190
Mob ...............................089 068 7819
Image Limousine
Tel.................................... 038 756 658
Thai Limousine Service
Tel................................. 038 423 140-1
LOCK SMITH/KEYS SHOPS
Raj Indian Restaurant
Tel..................................... 038 370 704
Tel................................... 081 837 7443
Shenanigans
Tel..................................... 038 710 641
Properties in Thailand
Tel .....................................038 425 884
Tel ...................................087 803 3329
Sportsman Pub & Restaurant
Tel..................................... 038 710 609
Sallmanns
Tel...................................... 038 252588
Subway
Tel..................................... 038 360 083
Seaboard Properties
Tel..................................... 038 252 456
Simple Simon
Tel.................................. 038 756 580
Tel.................................. 089 096 2491
Siam Properties
Tel..................................... 038 420 558
Bangkok Pattaya Dental
Tel................................... 038 259 999
The Haven
Tel................................. 038 710 988-9
.
The Mini Golf Pub
Tel..................................... 038 250 318
Siam Royal View
Tel..................................... 038 332 640
Banglamung Hospital
Tel................................... 038 429 244
Turkey Tom Bar & Grill
Tel......................................038 364 170
Pattaya Inter Hospital
Tel................................. 038 428 374-5
REAL ESTATE COMPANIES
Pattaya Keys & Safes
Tel.................................... 038 422 831
Locksmith Key Co. Ltd
Tel ...................................038 301 025
Fax ... ..............................038 301 026
.
MARRIAGE AGENCY
Thai Living.Net
Tel..................................038 364 514-5
Fax ................................038 364 056
MEDICAL-HOSPITAL/DENTISTS
Bangkok Pattaya Hospital
Tel................................... 038 259 999
MOVE INTERNATIONAL-LOCAL
Four Winds International Moving
Tel.................................... 038 306 330
Tel.................................. 081 903 9477
Tngthale Local Moving
Tel. .................................086 839 7652
RESTAURANTS
Aloha Diner & Bar
Tel.................................... 038 723 175
Big Horn Steakhouse
Tel.................................... 038 720 289
BOB’S Bar-B-Que & Grill
Tel.................................. 086 049 6348
Crazy Dave’s Bar & Diner
Tel.................................... 038 415 903
Casa Pascal Restaurant
Tel.................................. 038 723 660
AA Condo Co.,Ltd.
Tel..................................... 037 303 072
ACI
Tel......................................038 416 060
Areeya Villa
Tel................................. 038 733 320-1
Thai Business Acquisition Consultants
Tel.: .............................. 038 489 074-5
Fax: ................................ 038 489 076
Tel.: ....................+66 (0)38 427 364 - 5
Fax: .....................+66 (0)38 420 721
Town & Country Property
Tel..................................... 038 374 136
Tel................................... 086 666 7238
SAFES-OPENING
Baan Chalita
Tel................................... 089 608 3003
Pattaya Keys & Safes
Tel................................... 089 252 9830
Tel..................................... 038 422 831
Country Properties
Tel....................................081 576 0035
Tel....................................089 047 5604
Locksmith C0. Ltd
Tel. ................................... 038 301025
Fax. ..................................038 301026
East Coast Real Estate
Tel................................. 038 723 615-6
SPORTS
Farang Properties
Tel..................................... 038 300 618
Tel...................081 941 6769 (English),
Tel..................089 938 7433 (German),
Tel........................081 761 3430 (Thai)
Universe Gym Fitness & Boxing Center
Tel..................................... 038 421 027
Woodlands Resort
Tel..................................... 038 421 707
World Class Gym
Tel..................................... 038 411 116
Yodtong Senanan Thai Boxing Camp
Tel..................................... 038 249 018
SECURITY
Master Safety Enterprise Ltd.
Security Specialists since 1988
Burglar Alarm, CCTV, Access System
Tel..................... 038 426 423
Locksmith Co. Ltd
Tel. ................................... 038 301025
Fax. ..................................038 301026
SCHOOLS
“Ban Rak Deck”
Nursery & Babyhotel
Tel.................................. 086 045 8876
Tel.................................. 084 726 3878
VETERINARIAN
Naklua Veterinary Clinic :
Dr. Sukit Belkloy
Tel.................................... 038 225 640
VETERINARY HOME CLINIC
EMERGENCY SERVICE AVAILABLE,
Dr. Kriengsak
Open 10.00-22.00
Tel.................................... 038 488 407
WATER TREATMENT
SERVICE & EQUIPMENT
Ground Water Survey
Tel ..................................086 320 0525
Tel ..................................087 129 0044
DRINKING WATER-WATER MICRON
TEL:................................087 486 2127
Get High (Paregliding)
Tel................................... 081 576 0038
IM Siam Trading Co Ltd
Tel.................................... 038 428 662
Harold’s Golf Driving Range
Tel..................................... 038 250 658
Tel................................... 081 832 5338
J K Winery Ltd Part
Tel................................. 038 250 095-6
Image Golf
Tel..................................... 038 756 658
WEBSITE DESIGN
MISCELLANEOUS
PC Insurance Services
Tel: ...................................+66 (0) 38 373 966
Fax: ..................................+66 (0) 38 373517
Home Removals & Contents Purchase
Tel ...................................038 702 499
Mobile ............................086 666 9532
Jomtien Yellow House Massage
Tel. .................................087 827 8983
Pattaya Dental Center
Tel ....................................038 259 944
Home Cleaning Service
Tel ..................................089 545 7985
Motor Bike for Rent
Tel .................................086 824 4910
Personal Trainer
Tel ..................................089 094 6869
Swimming Teacher
Tel...................................089 094 6869
Plan B Business Solution Ltd.
Tel....................................038 252 898
Tel...................................086 303 1632
Fax..................................038 252 899
FLOWERS
Isan Flowers - Delivery Service
Tel..................................038 421 773
MOTOR BIKE RENTAL
Wheelies Pattaya
Tel ................................... 0810027492
Tel....................................0847408547
Kiwi Motor Bike Rental
(24 Hr)
Tel: ................................ 094 8686502
Wheel Chair Service
Buddy Wheelchair Service = Pattaya
Tel ................................081 858 4108
Tel ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,081 170 3934
Marotech Engineering Co Ltd
Tel.................................... 038 425 094
THETravel
TRAVEL
PAGE
The
Page
- SPONSORED BY IMAGE
LIMOUSINE
Issue 137
- March 2012
Reader input required. If you find any information that’s incorrect, please let us know. If you have any additional info’ please let us know
LEAVING PATTAYA
MINI BUSES
A number of companies provide mini bus services to
Bangkok, but they are usually listed in one schedule available from travel agents and tour operators. They will collect you from your hotel.
OTHER DESTINATIONS
CHIANG MAI
Air conditioned coaches run to Chiang Mai from the bus station on Sukhumvit. 15:00, 17:55, 18:20, 19:00 hours daily.
This can be booked direct (038424871) or through travel
agents and tour operators.
KOH SAMUI
There is one flight per day (flight times vary) to Koh Samui
from the local airport, U-Tapao. The price is 2,305 Baht,
tickets from Bangkok Airways or travel agents and tour
operators.
COACHES
OurcoachesfromPattayaarriveat3differentbusterminalsinBangkok:the
Eastern BusTerminal (Ekamai),the Northern BusTerminal (Morchit 2) and
the New Southern BusTerminal (SaiTai).For those passengers traveling to
Morchit 2 and Sai Tai, there will be an additional stop at Aou Udom bus
stop.
Pattaya Bus Terminal to Northern Bus Terminal (Morchit 2)
Bus Route: Pattaya Bus Terminal – Motorway - Morchit 2
Departure Times: Buses leave every 30 to 40 minutes from Pattaya Bus
Terminal
- The first bus leaves at 04:30
- The last bus leaves at 21:00
Bus Fare: 121 Thai Baht
Aou Udom Bus Stop: The bus from Pattaya Bus Terminal will stop only if there
are passengers from Aou Udom.
Departure Times: Buses leave every 30 to 40 minutes from Aou Udom Bus Stop
Pattaya Bus Terminal to Eastern Bus Terminal (Ekamai)
Bus Route: Pattaya Bus Terminal-Bangna-Trad Rd. (Toll way) –Ekamai
Departure Times: Buses leave every 30 to 40 minutes
from Pattaya Bus Terminal
Before arriving at Ekamai, passengers can also elect to get
off at the following Bangkok stops:
1. HomePro (Bang Plee)
2. Pedestrian Flyover opposite Central Bangna
3. Bangna Intersection
4. Onnuch BTS
Pattaya Bus Terminal to New Southern Bus Terminal (Sai Tai)
Bus Route: Pattaya Bus Terminal - Bangna-Trad Rd. (Toll way) New Southern
Bus Terminal (Sai Tai)
Departure Times:
06:00 07:00
08:00 09:00
10:00 12:00
13:00 14:00
15:00 16:00
18:00
Bus Fares: 113 Thai Baht
Aou Udom Bus Stop: The bus from Pattaya Bus Terminal will stop only if
there are passengers from Aou Udom.
Departure Times:
06:20 07:20
08:20
09:20
10:20
12:20
13:20 14:20
15:20 16:20
Read the Pattaya Trader on line at www.pattayatrader-online
The Travel Page
MINI BUSES TO AIRPORT/BANGKOK
MINI BUSES
A number of companies
provide mini bus services to
Bangkok, but they are usually listed in one schedule
available from travel agents
and tour operators. They will
collect you from your hotel.
OTHER DESTINATIONS
CHIANG MAI
Air conditioned coaches run to Chiang Mai from the bus station on Sukhumvit. 15:00, 17:55, 18:20, 19:00 hours daily. This can be booked
direct (038424871) or through travel agents and tour operators.
KOH SAMUI
There is one flight per day (flight times vary) to Koh Samui from the
local airport, U-Tapao. The price is 2,305 Baht, tickets from Bangkok
Airways or travel agents and tour operators.
Please note prices and times quoted are correct at the time of going
to press but can be changed without notice. Please check with the
service operator or your local travel agent tour operator for the most
recent
informan
Taxis & Limos to airport/Bangkok
(There are plenty of operators offering taxi
services to Bangkok and the airport from
around 1,000 Baht, plus tolls.)
Image Limousine: (Pick-up service provided)
Price from Baht 2,000 - Tel 038 251 755 - 09 894 6010
Mr Don, Center Condo: Center Condotel, South Pattaya Rd. 038 411
152-60; mobile 09-5433543
O.N. Taxi & Minibus: 519/88 Soi Skaw Beach (off Second Rd). 038 720
237; mobile 09-9391449;e-mail: [email protected]
From Suvarnabhumi Airport - www.airportpattayabus.com
There are 2 departure locations at Suvarnabhumi Airport to Pattaya:
Tickets cost Baht 124
1. Airport Bus Terminal & 2. 1st floor of Airport Building between Gate No. 7-8
Departure Times:
Airport Bus Terminal : 1st Fl. Airport Building Gate No. 7-8
06:50 07:00
08:50 09:00
10:50 11:00
12:50 13:00
14:50 15:00
16:50 17:00
20:50 21:00
From Pattaya City
There are also 2 departure locations in Pattaya to Suvarnabhumi Airport:
1. Office on Chaiyapruk Road (Not sure of the location)
2. Office on Thappraya Road (north of Thepprasit Road opposite Pan Pan Restaurant)
Departure Times:
Chaiyapruk Road Thapphraya Road
07:40
08:00
09:40
10:00
11:40
12:00
13:40
14:00
15:40
16:00
17:40
18:00
19:40
20:00
Pattaya Office Hours:
Office on Thapphraya Road 07:30 - 20:00 7 days a week
(North of Thepprasit Road opposite Pan Pan Restaurant)
Tel 038 -250-795 Tel 086-324-2389
Suvarnabhumi Airport Counter Service Hours:
1. Airport Bus Terminal: 06:30 - 21:00 7 days a week
2. 1st Fl. of Airport Building Gate 7-8 06:30 - 21:00 7 days a week
Tel: 086-324-2391
Pattaya Trader
Page 16
E-Mail: [email protected]
For Advertising Call 038 716 390 (Thai) - 038 716 986 (Eng)
Issue 137 - March 2012
Pattaya Trader
COMMUNITY HAPPENINGS
Please Support Our Advertisers
Rotary Club Of Taksin-Pattaya (RCOTP)
RCOTP is an English and German speaking club. We meet every
Thursday night in our Rotary room at the Amari Hotel. We gather
from 18.00 hrs for a drink and chat and the meeting starts at 19.00
hrs sharp. A quality dinner is served during the evening and the meeting finishes around 20.30. Please contact the President, or visit our
website www.rotary-pattaya.org for more details.
:::
:::
Note: All advertisements are accepted on
the following conditions.
1. The publishers may refuse any
advertisement which they consider
to be discriminatory, pornographic,
or otherwise in bad taste.
2. Advertisers must not include
material that they know is false,
deceptive or otherwise misleading.
3. Material that is by way of public
proclamation to the general public
either Thai or foreign will not be
published.
4. Rates for advertising will not be
published in each issue of the publication, please call the Trader office
038 716 390 for current advertising
rates.
Rates will be negotiable to advertisers wishing to buy advertising
for more than one issue and for
pre-payment. Anyone wishing to
advertise in the Trader should contact the Trader at the address above
and discuss their requirement. Note:
advertising rates in this publication
are exclusive of VAT - All advertising
is subject by law to VAT at 7%
5. 50% payment for advertising is
to be paid in advance (unless otherwise
agreed) and the remaining 50% when the
advertiser sees his/her advertisement in
print and to their satisfaction. Payment by
cheque will be by prior agreement.
6. Pattaya Trader will not be responsible
for the accuracy of any claims made by
advertisers. All content will be acceptable or not dependent on the Assistant
Editor. In any dispute, the Editor, Khun
Uraiwan Seangkrjang will have the final
decision.
7. Pattaya Trader will not accept any
responsibility for an advertisers infringement of copyright. Also, Pattaya Trader
will not accept material which they know
has been copied without the owners
permission.
8. Classified advertising in the Pattaya
Trader is free for regular advertisers and for
members of the general public. Traders,
dealers and commercial businesses who
do not advertise in the Pattaya Trader will
be charged an agreed price per word.
Pattaya International Ladies Club
(PILC) meets on the first Tuesday of
each month for lunch and the 3rd
Tuesday of each month for coffee. For
more information visit the website:
www.pattaya-pilc.com
Pattaya Golf Society
Meet regularly at the Bunker Bar in Soi Chiaypoon. Tee-off at a scheduled golf course at
around 11:30 am. All golfers are welcome.
Pattaya Sports Club
Promoting sports and supporting
local charities
Clubhouse on Pattaya 3rd Rd. Next
to the Pattaya Driving range. For club
details call 038 361 167. Full details are
posted on the club web site:
www.pattayasports.org
French expats ...
“Le Club Ensemble”, the french speaking expat club, have
meeting each month every 2nd thursday, 3pm, Bangkok
Pattaya Hospital . We have also a permanence for helping
French speaking expats,Wiwat residence, South Pattaya Soi
17., every Thursday from 1pm to 3 pm. For more information
go to www.club-ensemble-thailande.com
If you are a member of a club or group not listed on this
page, please contact the Pattaya Trader and we will publish details of your group contact; [email protected]
ADVERTISING AND NOTICES - TERMS
AND CONDITIONS
The Pattaya Trader is published by Chang Siam Publishing. Co. Ltd. at the Registered Office: 6/28 M9, Sukhumvit Rd. Nong Prue, Banglamung, Chonburi, 20260, Thailand.(ACC
- Albartec Car Centre) Mail to: PO Box 89 Pattaya Post Office, Banglamung, Chonburi
20260, Thailand. Tel: 038 716 390: 038 716 986 - Fax: 038 716 985 - Mobile (best) 012954254 - E-mail [email protected] The name ‘Pattaya Trader’ is a
Trademark . The contents of the Pattaya Trader are also copyright and may not be
used without the consent of Chang Siam Publishing.
If you belong to a group, or would like to form a group, you can advertise for
members here. Let’s make Pattaya a better place to live.
Meeting continuously for over 6 years, the Pattaya City Expats Club (PCEC), a not for profit club,
meets every Sunday at Henry J.Beans Restaurant, North Beach Road from 10 am until 12 for
the purpose of information exchange and friendship. Everyone is welcome – you don’t need to
be a member to attend. Join the 1400 people worldwide who receive at no charge our weekly
Newsletter, describing PCEC Sunday and weekday activities. For more information go to www.
pattayacityexpatsclub.com or phone 038-412197
Pattaya Expats Club (Est. 2001)
meets every Sunday for brunch from
1000am, meeting starts 1130am, at the
Mercure Hotel, Pattaya Soi 15 (see the
large hotel sign and right turn off 2nd Rd)
or from Soi Buakhao right turn onto Soi
15, or from Beach Rd walk through The
Avenue Shopping Mall from Soi Yamato,
and behind The Avenue turn right 100 Mtrs.
Friendly and relaxed meetings with lots of
information from Guest Speakers and our
expat expo tables. Free use of swimming
pool and fitness suite for club members.
Life Membership, 600 THB.
www.pattayaexpatsclub.info.
Rotary Club Pattaya Marina
French speaking
Meets Friday 18H30 at Amari Resort
President Florent Pellegrin
Tel: 086 565 1955
www.rotarypattayamarina.o
ROTARY CLUB OF PATTAYA
Weekly meeting every Monday at 19.00 at
Town-in-Town Hotel, Pattaya Central Road
Meetings conducted bilingual:
English/Thai
President: Niels Colov
Contact: 0-1815-4580, 0-3842-7585
Email: [email protected]
Website: www.rotary-pattaya.com
Submit your FREE classified at: www.pattayatrader.com
Public Utilities
Pattaya City Hall
Tel: 038 429 124/5
Pattaya Electricity
Tel: 038 221-572 22 1-463
Pattaya Garbage Collection
Tel: 038 429-494
Pattaya Health Department
Tel: 038 429-374
Pattaya Post Office
Tel: 038 429-341
Pattaya Water Works
038 429 012
Banglamung Post Office
Tel: 038 428-225
Jomtien Post Office
Tel: 038 231-944
BANGKOK TRAIN TERMINALS
Information (24 hrs.) Tel. 1690
Train Station: Hualumphong, Rama IV Road.
(To all parts of Thailand) Tel. 02-225-0300
Train Station: Don Muang
(To North, Northeast). Tel. 02-266- 2957
Bangsue Train Station:
(To North, Northeast & South).
Tel.02-257-4613
Somsaen Train Station:
(To North, Northeast and South).
Tel. 02-241-4238
Pattaya Train Station
(Siam Country Club Road)
To Bangkok Mon - Fri 1430
Price 31 Baht
Pattaya Trader
Page 18
Page 19
Pattaya Trader
Page 20
A LETTER FROM A READER
Hi Phil,
As you asked for feedback in the Feb issue, I’ve managed to fit in the time to send
you an e-mail despite my busy schedule.... all right I’m a lazy old bugger and finally got
round to it! (haha)
In a previous issue you asked for opinions re the ‘GIANT X WORD’ crossword - personally I’m very happy with it and I like the fact that if (better make that when!) I get
stuck I can always sneak a look at the answer page instead of having to wait for the next
issue.
Re sports, I’m afraid the only one I engage in is conducted in my bedroom in my capacity as amateur gynaecologist (ahem) so not fit to be printed and as regards a competition for the best looking girlfriend, I think a lot of pretty Pattaya girls definitely wouldn’t
like their pictures to be shown in a public mag. I know a massage lady who was sharing
a room with 3 bar/gogo girls, 2 of whom she said were very pretty. One day she came to
give me a massage and told me 2 of the 3 were crying their eyes out so I asked why. She
said the prettier of the 2 had lost 2 of her 5 farang boyfriends who had been sending her
money as they found out she was lying to them (oh really?!?). The other girl had lost 1 of
her 3 ATM friends at the same time so they were both heartbroken.
I said it was bad of them to be lying so why was she sorry for them and she said “oh
but they’re good girls - they send plenty money to their families”. I said what about the
broken hearted farangs but might as well have saved my breath.
By the way I was on my way to the gym this morning with a copy of your mag.
under my arm and a farang asked where I’d got it so told him Friendship on Pattaya Tai.
He asked if there were any in The Avenue plaza near us and I said I hadn’t seen any. How
about putting some there - maybe outside the Informatiion Kiosk?
That’s all I can think of now - I tire easily at my age (hoho)
Regards, Bill
THE TRADER’s REPLY
Hi Bill,
Thanks for taking the trouble to write and let me
know your views. It’s appreciated.
I think you are probably right about the
girls maybe getting a bit upset about a competition for THE BEST LOOKING GIRLFRIEND so I will
drop that. I will try and think of a more sensible
competition.
Regarding your mention of the girls who
support their families by ‘conning’ friendly
farangs. I remember reading in the Bangkok Post
many months ago an article by ‘Stickman’ where
he had found that 90% of Thai working girls were
not motivated towards supporting poor families,
but to buying gold, clothes and cosmetics, for
their own pleasure. The majority of these working
girls Stickman claimed were spending the majority of their earning on gambling. That’s sad if true.
The Trader is currently not available at
Friendship as the management there want
Baht 3,000 per month to put the magazine in
their store. This is what we Brits call taking the
piss. Charging to give away a free magazine. If
enough readers would donate the cash to give
Friendship to have the mag there, we will put it
back. Otherwise the magazine is available just
about everywhere.
Friendly regards
Phil
Page 21
Pattaya Trader
RAE’s RAMBLES
He replied, aghast at the prospect, “What... and give up being
in show business?”
Being in an unreciprocated love-affair with a Pattaya beerbar girl is like holding a Thai elephant by its hind leg when it’s
trying to run away and the only sensible thing you can do is to let
the brute go before it turns on you. And, like ‘Nellie the Elephant’,
she soon packed her trunk (with his money) and headed back to
the jungle.
After such a traumatic event a prolonged bout of intoxication is as good a comfort for a man as a good cry is for a woman,
especially when he realizes the only thing he truly owed her for
marrying him was a grudge. We older ex-pat ying-bangers know
that when relationships go wrong you don’t waste your time wallowing in regrets like a pig in sh*t. You don’t allow life’s rhythm
to become like the dull throbbing of a toothache instead of the
pounding of a headboard; you simply go out and find yourself another woman from the thousands of beautiful bimbos that swarm
the sois of this Shagri-La, as plentiful as fleas on a scabby Pattaya
dog’s belly.
I
n many ways Pattaya beer-bar yings are lucky because
they have regular money coming in from the very thing
that makes most of us falangs go broke!’, I said to Bozo, my
bar-loon buddy, over a Beach-Bar beer the other day.
Bozo was once a funny man who acted the clown for a living
(but aspired to play Hamlet only to make a piglet’s ear of it) and
was therefore quite at home in this Barnum and Bailey’s Human
Circus, known as Pattaya, and all of its falang performing ‘changs’
and its glamorous, sexy showgirls. He had been engaged to a contortionist but she broke it off on account of his inflexibility, then
he got engaged to a trapeze artist but she caught him in the act
with another swinger and then let him go, then he got engaged
to a ying juggler who whacked his b*ll*cks with a skittle when she
caught another young ying assistant jiggling his balls for him once
too often, but most of his three-ring Circus activity was in shoveling elephant sh*t and complaining about the job. So I asked him
“Why on earth don’t you give it up if it is so terrible?”
Page 22
You can’t get through life without having some disputes of
one kind or another. If you’re a sensible person you realize the
only satisfactory resolution is to let those matters go and get
on with the rest of your life - but Bozo was not one who shared
that philosophy. He reflected that it’s not a satisfactory outcome
when some bitch / bastard ‘stuffs you up the *rse’ and gets away
with it ... and 1 must^confessJ’m inclined to agree with him on
that point!Bozo jettisoned that namby-pamby forgive-and-forget theory and decided that anonymous timely reminders were
in order for such undeserving swine. Since he could not make a
personal confrontation he chose to send regular unsigned messages to the effect that ‘I haven’t forgiven you and the Pi (spirits)
are going to exact revenge for your evil deed.’ and know she
would have to trawl through a mental list of names of all those
people she has wronged in her life which just might serve to make
her re-evaluate her own existence. Westerners under-rate the fear
the Thais have of the ‘spirits’ and ‘spirit-world’, as they can become
quite terrified and afraid to venture out into the dark at night, or
even be left alone in a dark room ... and the last he heard her hair
was turning prematurely white.
Some censorial critics tend to label Pattaya as a ‘Sexually
Amoral City’, whereas I, and many other falangs, tend to regard it
as our ‘Bachelor s Paradise’. It may well be that it is a city powered
by men but its pudenda playgrounds could not exist without
the complicity of the girls and women it co-opts. Many of these
yings are the huntresses — not the hunted - who have become
mesmerized by the ambiguities of easy money for attireless effort,
glamour, and celebrity high-lifestyle of which they all aspire to
become part of, knowing Pattaya can be a very prosperous city for
them - on the (w)hole!
Once again he was free to
‘jump-the-hoop’ and mingle with
those spindly-legged ying sex-vultures hunched on high bar-stools
who spend long hours discussing
with their beer-bar sisters how men
are such brutes and disgusting pigs
- yet don’t suffer a moments hesitation in accepting a lady-drink, a dinner-date, or a short-time sh*g hotel
tryst with a near perfect stranger in
trousers. And those yings who don’t
so much declare their hand as shove
it straight down a man’s pants to
give him a firm handshake greeting.
This last action is, of course, guaranteed to give a desperate falang the
same look of joy a pervert has when
finding a pair of young girl’s soiled
knickers in a bush -and not the other
way round.
He’d experienced as much
success in chasing and catching
women as a fat man does in chasing and catching a wet bar of soap
in the bath, and was at that stage of
perpetual inebriation where his constant companion pink elephant was
a beast of bourbon, when he met a
beer-bar ying who had an *rse like
a kumquat, a mouth that certainly
belonged in the B&B circus, was as common as a barber’s chair
that fitted all bottoms, with a smile that showed more teeth than
Jim Carrey doing a toothpaste commercial, and whose convulsive
syncopation encouraged a loosening effect on his sexual recreation -and his obese wallet.
At first, she didn’t believe he was English since he didn’t
dress like the eccentric Union-Jackass Brit-Twits John Bull, Mr.
Pickwick, Sherlock Holmes or Boy
George. In worming her way into
his affections she started off by
doing some of his washing, often
delivering his clean laundry accompanied with some tasty Thai
dish. Then she took on the task of
doing all his washing, doing the
housework, bringing more food,
making his bed and then sharing it, moved into his condo and
subsequently got him to buy her
a washing machine. Her honesty
was about as believable as an ‘uplift’ bra’ is about a Thai girl’s tiny
tits and all his friends warned him
that he’d end up like the ex-banker to the Vatican found dangling
by his neck under Grey-Friars
Bridge with a concrete breezeblock in his underpants, but they
might just as well have saved their
breath to blow the froth of their
beer. He had yet to learn that the
good you do for a Pattaya beerbar ying doesn’t always do you
any good as she happily accepted
his undesirable paucity of manners out of respect for his desirable excessive wealth acquired by
his having always believed that
the key to becoming a financial
falang success was in being a fiscal ‘tight-ars*. When she said she
wanted him to ‘take her-up-the-aisle’ to give her a happy end he
thought she meant he should bung it up her jolly old ‘Limpopo’,
her ‘poop-chute’. From then on his ability to hang on to his money
was about as effective as the power of an octogenarians analsphincter muscle in withstanding a lightning-fast ‘squitter’ attack
from a ‘Bangkok Bowel Blaster’.
Page 23
Pattaya Trader
ing holes has also grown. Go down Soi
Are you too old to change? In what is
Siam Country Club, Ngern Plub Wan, Kow
arguably his most humorous novel, Our
Noi, or Khao Talo, and it’s not hard to see
Man in Havana, one of the main characthe incredible number of hole-in-theters in the book by Graham Greene said,
wall shophouse beer boozers and Sierra
‘…when you feel unable to change your
Tango joints that have opened. Just five
bar you have become old.’
years ago, probably half or more of these
For many long-time expats in Fun Town,
places simply didn’t exist.
and probably just as many regular visitors, having a ‘personal’ watering hole,
Every time a new place opens and
or local, is quite common. I know a lot
proves
successful, it means somewhere
of people who can be found most afterelse has lost some of its customer base.
noons or evenings at one or
two places; and they’ve been
Fashion in Diamond go go
regulars at these joints for
many years.
The reasons for this
‘loyalty’ are many and varied,
although in general they boil
down to the customer having
a sense of ‘belonging’ to the
bar. Some of the reasons might
be because they’ve become
friendly with the owner and/or
manager; have had a number
of good experiences with the
girls who have worked, or still
work, in the bar; or the bar is
close to their residence and offers value for money in terms
of drinks.
Pretty much every bar in
Pattaya relies on a core group
of regular customers. Those
who don’t, won’t or can’t
garner a reasonably strong
regular following usually don’t
stay in business too long.
As Pattaya has expanded,
particularly on the ‘Dark
Side’, the number of waterPage 24
Sometimes the new places succeed simply because they are close by: after all,
most of us are lazy, so a half-decent place
nearby can draw custom from a better
joint further away.
That said, there are a lot of places
which have maintained a strong, loyal
customer base for many years and have
continued to prosper despite coups,
world economic collapses, floods, embassy warnings and a myriad of other
‘excuses’ usually trotted out by
those who have failed to cement
a place in the hearts and wallets
of the expats and regulars.
So, perhaps it’s not being
too old to change your bar, it’s
more a feeling of simple comfort
that keeps regulars tied to one or
two ‘special’ places.
Hot & Cold, a work in
progress: The Hot & Cold gogo in Soi Post Office moved a
couple of doors towards Second
Road recently.
After being in the same
location for many years, its
new incarnation is probably
an improvement, but only just.
Having to mount a staircase
to enter the new setup is a
negative, although once the
downstairs open beer bar
section is completed this
probably won’t matter so much.
The new setup is brighter
than the cave-like lighting of
vast majority of the dancing maidens do
not reveal much, if any thing, in the way
of ‘bedroom’ flesh. Fair comment. After
all, what you’ll see in, say, Champagne,
Club Oasis, Peppermint, Airport, Baby
Dolls, Windmill and the like will be far
more skin tones than you’ll ever catch
a glimpse of in Classroom, Moon Club
and a few others.
Nonetheless, whichever way you
want to slice and dice the numbers of the
behind-closed-doors dancing girl scene,
the numbers of available places remains
high and it means punters are truly
spoiled for choice. It also means those
places which are run by a management
without its hand firmly on the pulse
of what’s going on around town will
soon be scratching their bonces trying
to figure out where the imbibers have
gone.
Mistresses of disguise from the long gone Lollipop go go in Soi 2
the old place. This is a negative for sure
as Hot & Cold is not a den of the chrome
pole which attracts the cream of the
dancing damsel crop.
I counted three dancers on stage,
one of whom was far from the worst.
There were another six or seven dancers
scattered around the den; a couple
weren’t too bad as far as physical charms
go. I’ve been in worse places.
There is the de rigueur Jacuzzi,
which looked more like one of those
unloved tidal pools: the tide was out, and
so were the girls.
Draft amber fluid in a big glass at just
45 baht is the discounted thirst quencher
and represents good value. Whether
that’s enough to bring customers
flocking to the joint is doubtful.
The sign out the front of the den
has a sub-heading: ‘Perfect’. I’d hate to
see what the owners think constitutes
‘imperfect’.
Shine your light on me: Anyone
who thinks the nightlife scene is
suffering some kind of serious decline
should immediately stop sniffing
illegal substances and open their eyes.
The go-go bar element of the night
entertainment industry continues to
boom, at least when it comes to people
prepared to open yet another venue, or
buy into one that is either failing or has
failed.
Arguably, the absolute peak in
terms of go-go bar numbers in Fun
Town was reached a couple of years ago
when the count hit 80. As I write this
-mid-February- the total is now back to
80, with 53 dens of the chrome pole on
and around Walking Street and the rest
scattered from Jomtien (one) through
to north Pattaya. The latest place to fling
open its doors is Lighthouse (Walking
Street), which kicked into life in late
January.
Some people argue that within this
collection are go-go’s that should really
be referred to as coyote bars because the
Secrets first pic Just made for the
art of autoeroticism.
Page 25
Pattaya Trader
FOUR HOURS & A THOUSAND BAHT
Kindly submitted by BS.
with a long central stage, two mini stages at either end and one
elevated stage against the north wall. I took a seat located near
the center of the south wall, which provided me with an excellent view of the eight scantily clad dancers and the two very, very
scantily clad ‘showgirls’ that were strutting their stuff on the various stages.
Having nothing against beautiful women, I’ve always preferred imbibing intoxicants while sitting inside a cool, dimly-lit
a-go-go because the scenery is so much better than most beerbars, where the view inevitably consists of some sweaty fat guy
sitting across from me. Given the choice of gazing at gorgeous
Thai females, as opposed to overweight western males, it doesn’t
require a wizard’s gray-matter to guess what the average man
would prefer to stare at while destroying some of his own graymatter with alcohol.
Whenever acquaintances ask where I usually go to drink and
I reply, “Walking Street”, their universal retort is always, Walking
Street, that’s expensive!” It’s only expensive if you make it so. To
prove my point, armed with only 1,000 baht, I intentionally set out
after happy hour had expired to see just how far that modest sum
would take me, and I was astonished at the results.
About 21:30 I entered the land of a-go-gos which was heaving and bustling with
unexplained activity
beneath the spectral
glow of neon and
headed towards The
Cavern A-Go-Go,
located across from,
and slightly south
of Soi Diamond. The
bar is decked-out like
some sort of grotto,
or well . . . cavern;
Page 26
After my eyes metronomed all of the stages, I was prepared
to concede that there were some seriously decent looking women
here who required my attention long enough to consume five
Tiger draft beers, priced at 59 baht. All in all, there were about 25
dancers and showgirls on duty and a fair amount of customers sitting around ogling them. Eventually I tore my gaze from the lovely
ladies before my eyes started to bleed, paid the 295 baht bill and
left 25 more as a tip.
With inexpensive draft beer, plenty of attractive girls, no
hassles for drinks and a less frenetic ambiance, The Cavern received high marks from me. If you’ve never been, I highly recommend you take a look.
Next I marched over to the entrance to Soi Diamond and
climbed the stairs into Tiger A-Go-Go. Inside was the obligatory
mirrors, neon and another narrow stage with a vacant jacuzzi at
it’s far end. There were about five ladies displaying their wares on
stage and another nine scattered throughout the bar with a handful of drinkers sipping contentedly. On this particular Monday
night, none of the 14 dancers were real stunners, but none were
beyond the pale either, with three of them almost making the cut
to beautiful.
see that good things came in small packages. Not only was Chang
draft just 55 baht in this diminutive a-go-go, but it also had more
than it’s fair share of above average looking females. Because of
the abundant beauty it took me some time to work through three
drafts, take care of the 165 check-bin and leave a 25 baht tip.
The Sea’s décor is nothing to get stirred-up over, but the
drinks are cheap, the women are friendly and pretty-much leave
you alone unless you desire company. Plus, they’re generally attractive and there are usually several worth taking a second, or
third look at, so it’s well worth a stop on your next visit to Walking
Street.
The bar was physically okay, the girls were alright and the
draft beer was fairly cheap, it’s just that without much visual
stimulation, I thought I could do better elsewhere. So I had just
the one Tiger draft at 70 baht and left a 10 baht tip.
After nearly four hours and four a-go-gos my brain was congested from the 12 draft beers I’d lapped-up which had so far cost
only 740 baht, plus another 90 for tips. With 170 baht leftover, I
could have easily had two more draft beers, or three if I was stingy
with the tips somewhere else. But I was worried about permanently damaging my eyesight; so I bought two chicken-kabobs instead
for 120 baht, pocketed the remaining 50 baht, and walked away
enriched and unscathed. The total damage was 960 baht, thus
proving that you can put a minor dent in Walking Streets supply of
alcohol without putting a major ding in your wallet.
I moved on to the Shark Club situated upstairs, inside Soi
Diamond, atop Super Girl A-Go-Go. Shark Club is Tiger’s bigger sister with more seating, a larger stage and three satellite stages that
doubled as tables. The club’s entertainment consisted of 20 or so
dancers, many of whom, judging by there outfits were definitely
not burdened with crippling modesty.
Because I’m not clinically blind, I couldn’t help noticing that
several of the creatures were truly blessed in the looks department, and I was in very real danger of blowing the evening’s budget on lady-drinks. But excising enormous self-control, I limited
my activities to straining my eyeballs while slowly drinking three
Tiger drafts at 70 baht each. Then settled my 210 baht tab and left
a 30 baht gratuity.
Shark Club seemed to have it all, a recently remodeled interior, lots of pretty girls exposing body parts, no one begging for
lady-drinks, enough of a crowd to keep things interesting and reasonably priced draft beer. Overall I was impressed and wondered
why there wasn’t a larger crowd.
After Shark I washed up on the shores of The Sea A-Go-Go
which can be found inside Soi Diamond near Walking Street, nestled between Super Star and Naughty Girl. The pint-sized bar was
packed with over 20 ladies; seven or eight of them were proudly
showing off various parts of their anatomy on the single stage and
many of the seats were occupied by revelers enjoying the brazen
beauties and the booze.
Flicking my by now, overworked eyes right and left, I could
Arse Ed’s Note:
Continuing with our series of articles on discovering just how far
you can go on a limited budget, (many of us are feeling the effects of the
European economy plunge and the diminishing value of the American
Dollar) the Pattaya Trader is boldly stepping out into the night to be able
to give you a few pointers on where to go for some fun and a few beers.
We hope you find these articles useful and would welcome any
comments or suggestions you might have.
Page 27
Read the Pattaya Trader on line at www.pattayatrader-online
Pattaya Trader
The Wonder of Pattaya
Early closing season is upon us again
Crackburi Governor Pisit Upagainstawall wandered into Walking
Street on an official guided tour to inspect the effectiveness of
yet another government enforced 2:00am closing of establishments dispensing alcoholic substances and offering entertainment involving women of an extroverted
nature.
He was informed by
a number of persons who
claimed to be businessmen -all
dark suits with bulges under the
armpits; sunglasses at 11:00pm;
short-cropped hair; scowls- that
their income was being adversely
affected by the early closing hours.
They suggested foreigners, unlike
most Thais, did not wish to spend
the majority of their days and nights
sleeping. Instead, they liked to go out
after the sun goes down and fill their
stomachs with as much alcohol as is
humanly possible and stay out very late.
The more intelligent among the dark suits suggested the
reason most foreigners wanted to drink until they were spastic
and not go home to bed until the sun was coming up is connected to their childhood and teenage years. He explained to Governor Pisit the Freudian theme of childhood repression resulting in
adult rebellion. Most foreigners are compelled by their parents
to go to bed early (i.e. before the really steamy movies are shown
on those cable channels after 8:30pm) and are admonished with
regard to the evils of the consumption of alcohol. This is despite
the obvious attractions of alcohol for their parents.
Therefore, when they finally manage to break loose of
the apron springs they tend to become a little like born-again
Page 28
Christians: they over-indulge in the previously forbidden vices.
Of course born-again Christians don’t over indulge in vices, they
simply pester non-believers to death on the virtues of abandoning
alcohol consumption and going to bed early.
Anyway, the Crackburi Governor told the
men in dark suits he was sympathetic to their
economic plight and would review the matter
with some urgency, promising to get back to
them by November. Ever the political operator
he neglected to be specific about November
of which year. He then informed the men in
dark suits that the last time anyone took any
notice of a clampdown on closing times in
Pattaya bars was in 2001, which means it’s
all ancient history.
Community Happenings
Following a spate of visitors and expatriates deciding to end their lives by
leaping from high floors in condo blocks, a sensible marketing type opened an English-style pub called the
Yell and Plunge. Apart from the standard full English breakfast
and PG Tips tea, the pub offers tips on Sensible Leaping, the Best
Time to Jump, Testing for Wind Direction, Responsible Plunging,
and Writing a Coherent Suicide Note.
Clubs and Friendly Societies
Baht Bus Spotting Club: meets at the corner of Second Road and
South Pattaya Road every Monday afternoon at 1:00pm. A limited
number of specially designed anoraks are available from Bruce.
He can be contacted by email: [email protected]
Alcoholics Anonymous: meets on Friday afternoon at 5:00pm
during the all-you-can-drink happy hour at Joe’s Bar in Soi
Sukmedry.
Sexaholics Anonymous: meets on Saturday afternoon at 3:00pm
in the coffee shop of the Open Window Massage Parlour on Soi
Soapy.
Onanists Anonymous: a special place for people with a ‘handling’
problem, have advised a change of leadership. Previous
chairman, Stan, from Essex, has finally gone blind and his
replacement is Bob, from Northumberland. Bob’s eyesight isn’t
too flash either.
Onanists Anonymous is a club for those who appear to have
a social problem relating to members of the opposite sex and
seem only capable of relating to their own ‘members’ in quite
physical ways are counselled by experts and given support
from other like-minded individuals.
Members are slowly weaned off the self-extraction method
of physical release and encouraged to participate in assisted
extraction by the presence of qualified massage personnel
from the Many Hands Make Light Loads Massage and Spa,
situated right next door.
The Ernest Hemingway Gun Club: will be meeting as usual in
the Club Knockers Karaoke Pub on Third Road anytime from
midnight onwards. Members are reminded to bring their
own unregistered guns and be prepared to fire at random if
someone looks at them the ‘wrong’ way.
Parents without single partners in Thailand have advised they
will be holding their next over 30’s night at the Bamboo Bar
from 8:00pm until 11:30pm. The house band, Jimmy and the
Geriatrics, will sing their standard set of tunes made famous in
the 1960s and 70s. Please note: Jimmy has advised the band is
making a greater effort to remember the lyrics of such songs as
‘Da Doo Doo Dee Diddy Dum Diddy Doo’ and ‘Onagodadivida’
(aka ‘In the Garden of Eden’).
Special attraction
The Pattaya Chrome Pole Molesting Collective (CPMC) will be
holding its very own ‘Mr Buffalo’ Contest during the
full moon period of July.
The idea for the
contest came after the
11th annual Thai Buffalo
Festival held by the Livestock
Development Department in Surin.
The winner was a swamp buffalo
from Nakhon Sri Thammarat whose
winning characteristics included ‘a big skull and
large hooves’.
According to CPMC spokeswoman Khun Lek (better
known as No 181 from the Blow Hard go-go in Soi Hand Relief ),
the criteria for winning the CPMC contest will include a thick skull
and large bank account. Although a large number of Russians
certainly qualify in both departments, they appear reluctant to
engage in such activities, considering the local peasantry to be
beneath them. Boris Badanovsky, a long-time resident, was quoted
as saying, “This country has wonderful bitches for sweeming and
in night-time is good for having pooblic sex with gorgeous Russian
lady. But is no good for people. Local peeple is very much peasant.
If Roosia peeple can take over, then Thailand is great cuntry.”
[Note: Boris is currently being investigated in Russia for unusual
wealth and has chosen to live in Pattaya for the sunshine, and
lack of an extradition treaty]
Note from the Arse:
The OMIP (Our Man In Pattaya) column is one of
the most popular columns in the magazine. Written by the much celebrated and celibrate Dunc and
Stern. If you advertise here, we will always keep your
advert on this page thus ensuring maximum exposure
for you or your business. First come, first served.
Page 29
Pattaya Trader
B
Apparently, the guys
were late and their women
were subsequently in the
foulest of moods. They immediately let their menfolk
know about it. The guys
copped a barrage of Russian
abuse that would strip paint
from the walls … and they
took it like wimps. I don’t
understand Russian but
from their body language
I guessed the guys were
saying things like, “Yes dear,”
“I’m sorry, dear,” and “It won’t
happen again, dear.”
ack in 2008
I penned
an article
‘Glasnost
Pattaya
Style’ about the apparent
‘Russian Invasion’ of our
fine city. I backed up that
statement with statistics
showing that Russians had
become, numerically, the
largest national group to
visit Pattaya, dethroning UK
passport holders who used
to have that distinction.
In 2007 almost 890,000
Russians visited Pattaya,
up 84% from 2006. From
January through September
2010, over 659,000 Russian
tourists entered Thailand;
a 77 percent increase over
the previous year for the
same time period. (During
the same period in 2001,
less than 40,000 tourists
from Russia visited Thailand.) Between January
and June 2010, Russian
visitors to Thailand totalled
305,415, up 102% over the
same period of 2009. By the
term ‘Russians’ I assume they
mean people from any of the
former republics of the Soviet Union, and not just those
from Russia itself.
From a male perspective it was pathetic. These
guys definitely had no balls.
I fought the urge to get up,
slap their collective Cossack faces and tell them
they were giving men a bad
name.
Be Afraid Boris
Analysing and explaining the reasons for the influx of
Russian visitors to our Paradise-by-the-Sea would fill several volumes, so I am not going to go into that. As a Pattaya
resident, I am more concerned how the Russians behave
when they get here rather than why they are here.
I was sitting in the foyer of one of Pattaya’s prestige
hotels (I snuck in while the doorman wasn’t watching) and
three tall, blonde women in their mid-thirties were sitting
not far away. I recognized their accents as being Russian.
Twenty minutes later, their husbands or boyfriends arrived;
three big, strapping, square-jawed men you’d like to have
on your side in a fight.
Page 30
But this was not an isolated incident. I can’t recall
how many news reports I
have seen or read involving
altercations between Russian
tourists and locals. In almost
every case where a Russian
woman was present, it was
she who was dishing out the
violence or tirade of abuse.
Thai thieves tried to rob a Russian couple jogging
on Pratamnak Hill. The would-be muggers were beaten
off and scared to death by the Russian woman! The news
item didn’t say what the Russian man was doing while his
wife was teaching the thugs a lesson.
Another report was of a Russian woman leading a
heated argument with a Baht Bus driver in Jomtien. The
driver got out of his vehicle and was matching her toe to
toe. If you or I had been involved, the driver would have
simply got on his phone and called other members of the
Baht Bus Mafia who would have descended on the scene
in a matter of seconds to add weight to his argument.
This time it was a Russian woman involved and the driver
found himself without friends. Those drivers who may
have answered his distress call and turned up, did a quick
U-turn. Others simply stood back and watched. Eventually, a policeman arrived and got one side of the argument
from the irate Baht Bus driver. Then, seeing an extremely
agitated woman who could speak no other language but
Russian and was possibly not open to negotiation, he advised
everyone, including the small collective of Baht Bus drivers and large crowd of Thai onlookers, to disperse. They did.
The policeman watched the woman from a distance until he
decided she had calmed down sufficiently to no longer be a
threat to man nor beast. Satisfied, he got on his motorbike
and drove away.
There have been other reports of angry, violent Russian
females keeping onlookers - and sometimes Pattaya’s finest
- at bay until they calmed down enough to be restrained or
sedated.
This is not unexpected, and we only have to check our
history books to find even more extreme examples. In June
1941, Hitler launched Operation Barbarossa against the Soviet
Union. The attack had initial successes because the Soviet
front line defenders were all male. Eventually, Soviet military
losses were so high that Stalin had to recruit women into his
army. This turned the tide against the Germans and in May
1945, Stalin’s million-strong army of pre-menstrual Russian
housewives captured Berlin.
A couple of decades later when the Cold War was near
its peak, we in the West were preparing for a Soviet attack and
possibly the start of World War III. The great Soviet propaganda machine portrayed the mighty Bolsheviks as big, fearless,
cold-hearted men who wanted to be masters of the universe
and enslave us all. It turns out that these men were not so
fierce after all and, for many years we were scared of Boris
when, the truth is, we should have been more scared of Olga.
Since 1917, the Soviet army has comprised the largest
percentage of volunteers of any army in the world. That makes
sense when you consider that most of the volunteers were
married men. These husbands figured it was safer to carry a
Kalashnikov and face NATO tanks than it was to arrive home
drunk and face the wife after a night out with a few mates.
But don’t take my word for it. When you are travelling
about Pattaya observe for yourself. Watch groups of Russian
tourists and attempt to figure out who the leader of the group
is. I guarantee the alpha members of the group will be the
females. At the bottom of the power food chain will be the
physically larger but less aggressive, kowtowing males carrying all the shopping bags and walking, with heads slightly
bowed, behind their women.
Comment from the Ass Editor:
I’m not sure that I absolutely agree with the fool, in his perception
of the Russian male. Certainly Mr Putin seems to be an Alpha male. I
also wouldn’t advise readers to assume that those big Russian guys are
whelps or pussies.
Page 31
Pattaya Trader
Dining out with Frugal Freddy & Ritzy Rita
Dining out with Frugal Freddy & Ritzy Rita
Restaurants that are supporters of Frugal Freddy and their PCEC
members, your membership card gets a 20% discount on food
and drink, any time you and your guests visit. When we go as a
Frugal Freddy group, no membership card is needed.
Frugal Freddy
Loaf features many baked goods from breads, muffins and cinnamon rolls to cakes sold by the slice in the refrigerated counter.
The cakes range in price from B85 to B115 for the Brie and apricot
cheese cake. I have tried over half of them and never have been
disappointed. Uthai shared with us that so often the cakes you
get at the international chain bakeries are made with the same
formula no matter where in the world the bakery is, he adapts his
baked goods to Thailand’s tastes and climate.
Besides the desserts Loaf is a well know Pizzeria with 27 different pizza’s on offer, medium size with medium crust. Prices range
from B169 for a Marinara (just sauce no cheese) to a Mexican
Pizza using salsa as sauce, cheddar cheese, spicy chorizo sausage
and jalapenos to give it a little Mexican kick, price B349. The
PCEC has voted Loaf as the
best pizza in Pattaya and
recently held a pizza eating
contest during their regular
Wednesday evening all
you can eat buffet B199.
The winner from the club
Loaf Bakery, Pizzeria, and Café. Uthai the proprietor of
Loaf, hosted a wonderful dinner for Rita and I last month and
gave us some insight to himself and Loaf. He was born in Thailand
some 30 years ago and left after graduating from high school to
further his education around the world. He got his degrees from
various universities and special education in places that he felt
would further his dream of opening the best bakery in Thailand..
He studied cake baking at the Ritz in Paris France (one of 30 countries he visited while studying).
consumed 19 slices
but that record did
not last long as a
customer recently
challenged and
broke the record eat-
ing 30 slices. At 8 slices
per pizza that is almost
4 pizza and you must
also eat the crust.
Besides Pizza he is well
known for his Italian
Lasagna which I had
for the first time and it
was a large serving and very light in textures and mouthwatering flavor. On Monday and Tuesday he features a set menu with a
choice of spaghettis following an appetizer of tapas or small tuna
salad and a soft drink or water, a very filling meal for only B195.
Loaf is located behind the 7-11 on corner of Soi Lenkee and
Buakhao.
Page 32
El Paso Restaurant With
the passing of the El Toro restaurant on 2nd road maybe the
confusion will stop between
El Paso and El Toro. El Paso
not as easy to find but lighter,
brighter and lots of free parking on Pattaya Tai just past Cat
Telecom, don’t go too fast or
you will miss it. Ritzy Rita and I
ate there a couple of times last
month and as usual came out
stuffed with a box of leftovers
to take home to our 4 legged
daughter Yolanda the Yorkie.
After a warm greeting by
Torstein Olaussen from Norway we spent about 10 minutes looking over the very
extensive menu. We starting
with 6 chicken wings (b125)
for Rita and a dozen prawns
in a wonderful cocktail sauce
B185 for me. We decided to
pass on the soups and salads
even though we were tempted by the French onion at B155
and Goulash at B165. I had had the Goulash on a previous
visit and before the main course. This time I had learned my
lesson and we went right to the main entrees.
Ritzy Rita
loin rare as usual at B450, ½ lb of pure
delight. The piece I got was cooked
perfectly, 1.5 inches thick and could be
cut with a butter knife. It was thickly
covered with caramelized onions and
came with 2 sauces. (béarnaise and aux
jus) All meals included lightly steamed
vegetables, choice of 6 kinds of potatoes
(baked, mashed, French Fried, pan fried
with onions and bacon, boiled and my
choice creamy au gratin), in addition the
meal started with a crispy fresh vegetable appetizer and included your choice
of 4 different sauces or gravy as we call
it in America (mushroom, onion, pepper,
garlic).
There were 11 choices of steaks on the
steak page, I like variety and previous visits I had had the Roquefort steak (B525)
and the pepper steak B475 and the rib
eye B425. I asked Torstein why my steak
was so tender better than any Aussie or
NZ beef I had eaten elsewhere. He informed me that his beef is aged 21 days
at the packing house, vacuumed packed
and stored in his refrigerator until needed. It is never frozen and
thawed.
We chose a French wine (all his bottled wines are French from
B805 to B1485) at B1035, recommended by Torstein called Saint
Chinion. A blend of 30% black Granach, 40% Syria, 30% old black
Carigan. Described as “an intense nose of wild flowers, Thyme, Bay
leaves and wild Berries, rich and medium bodied.
As usual even though deserts are on offer we waddled out without dessert and had our customary doggie bag to take to Yorkie
Yolanda.
Mr. Torstein (owner) with Rita & J
A page of choices from the international menu with choices
ranging from B175 for a filet sandwich and mixed vegetables
for B175 to Mixed Grill at B450 or lamb chops or surf and turf
at B475. This time Rita chose the Schnitzel which was 2 huge
slices of pork with gravy and vegetables and we took more than
half of it home in the doggy bag. I chose the 250 gram tender-
PCEC has many special interest groups to serve the members,
one of the most popular is the Frugal Freddy dining out group meeting weekly. They currently meet each Monday and Tuesday and in
2012 will add Wednesdays. Meeting times are always 6pm and are
at restaurants that Hawaii Bob has determined give good value for
the Baht with most of them even offering a special discount that
evening. With the value of foreign currency shrinking against the
baht and Thai inflation hitting us in the wallet club member seek out
value dining. If you would like to get on our mailing list and join us
some evening just email [email protected] with “Frugal
Freddy as the subject” and you will get notices where to go and make
new friends, meet old friends and get reasonably priced meals. Any
restaurant owner wanting us to review or visit their establishment
can do the same.
Page 33
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
All That Glisters
by Mike Bell
P
dated every ten minutes via an internet feed to the World’s Gold
market.
Even his regular monthly pension had shriveled to a pittance.
The pound sterling had crashed by nearly forty per cent against
the mighty baht. The British Government had thanked him for
his honesty in declaring himself an ex-pat by freezing his pension
and allowing no index linking to inflation. Paul was just about
surviving but there was no spare cash. He had downsized his
accommodation to a small condo off Soi Bukao. He drank only in
moderation at one of the bars where he was nominally a partner.
The other owner, a Thai, let him have beer at cost. It was Korn who
drew his attention to the Gold-to-Go story in a local Thai newspaper.
Paul thought of all the angles and devised the plan. First he
needed a nerd: these were ten-a-penny at Tuk-Com on Pattaya
Thai. Through Korn they brought on board a pimply youth called
Suwit who would manipulate the internet price feed. For a small
fee their machine was situated by the main entrance to Tuk-Com
and close to Suwit’s store. Three major local newspapers in both
Thai and English were contacted and invited to the unveiling. A
local goldsmith had produced the mini-ingots. Paul kept unobtrusively on the outskirts of the crowd. Korn fronted the whole show.
He stressed the alarming number of necklace snatches by motor
bike thieves. He pointed out the Hi-tech benefits of up-to-date
gold prices. He pledged that with no expensive shops to rent; no
aul was down on his uppers. He’d started with
a small fortune and had had it whittled down to a
mere lump sum. It wasn’t just the Thai girls who’d
relieved him; fellow farangs all had get-rich quick
schemes if only Paul would lend them the wherewithal. He had bought into bars with no customers; whose only
regulars were the local Plod.
It had started in Saudi, where else! With so
much oil money sloshing about; with so many
tourist dollars flooding in; some Saudis were
looking for a place to put their spare cash. Many
decided on gold. Demand outstripped supply
and the price soared particularly in times of war.
With currencies suffering in the hands of dodgy
banks, the world was in recession. Gold was a
safe haven.
Thais were gold mad, thought Paul with rising excitement.
They weighed their gold in bahts equivalent to just over fifteen
grams. The gold itself was at least twenty three carat and over
96.5% pure. It was not uncommon for Thai ladies to wear their
entire life savings round their necks. When times were hard, say in
the low season, she would weigh it in at a jeweler cum pawnbroker
to be redeemed when business picked up. The gold price may
have gone up too in the interim.
Paul studied the figures on the internet. Ten
years ago one gram of gold would have cost less
than three hundred baht. Today the same weight
would cost 1550; a five or six fold increase. The
Gold-to-Go story was just a gimmick but it had
had fifteen customers in a day and a half’s trading. It resembled an ATM. You put your money
or credit card in and out popped a gift-wrapped
weight of gold. They’d just installed one in London. For the English equivalent of 2200 baht, you
could get a one gram, twenty-four carat souvenir
of the London skyline. Just short of five thousand
baht bought a two and a half gram piece of the
precious metal. Prices were automatically upPage 34
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
salesmen’s wages to pay, they would permanently undercut all
other goldsmiths in Pattaya.
Against all the odds it worked. The money came pouring
in. The Pattaya mini-ingots became collector’s pieces. The farang
customers appreciated not having to visit a shop with a thousand
different choices to keep their tirac happy. The girls found it a
quick stop en route to seeing off their boyfriend at the airport. The
partners found their savings growing, even after paying off Suwit
each month. But then Korn got greedy. In time they could have
installed another machine at Central World on Second road; even
opened one in Bangkok. All they had to do was wait.
the bar.’ He named a not inconsiderable sum which after a little
haggling Paul accepted. As the papers had already been drawn up
in advance, the whole deal was finalized within the hour.
Having deposited the cheque in his Bangkok bank account,
Paul yawned contentedly. He had been up all night producing that
bogus front page of ‘Pattaya Today’ and the getting his girl to write
the Thai equivalent page inside. Whilst studying for his Educational Visa, he had also become proficient in Desktop Publishing.
Paul pieced it together over several nights of eavesdropping
on conversations at the bar between Suwit and Korn. They spoke
openly in front of Paul, secure in the knowledge that the stupid,
drunken farang would not understand Thai. Paul smiled grimly to
himself: the years studying for an Educational Visa were about to
pay off.
The plan was classically simple. Suwit was to pretend to argue with Korn and take Paul into his confidence. He would tell him
that the price of gold was set to fall alarmingly. A new mine had
opened up and was about to flood the market. The gold bubble,
like the High-Tech stock bubble and the housing market was about
to plummet. Unless Paul sold his half of the gold partnership
quick, he would be left holding a pile of over-valued gold. Paul
appeared very worried and a business meeting was scheduled for
the following day when Korn would make a ludicrously low offer
for Paul’s half of the business.
When Paul appeared at their newly acquired offices on Pattaya Tai, he carried with him a copy of ‘Pattaya Today’, the most authoritative of the local papers. It also had a section written in Thai.
He bounced into the office seemingly twice his normal size and
smiling broadly. Before Korn could launch into his doom-laden
speech about gold prices, Paul flourished the front page. ‘Congratulations, old friend. We’ve just become very rich men over night.’
The headlines were enormous in big bold type. ‘War is Declared.’
The story went on to describe the deteriorating situation on the
Thai/Cambodian border. Neither side was going to pull back. The
Stock Exchange of Thailand had fallen 200 points before trading
had been suspended perhaps for the rest of the week. The price
of gold had rocketed. Korn read and re-read the story in Thai and
English. He checked the date of the paper. His head was reeling at
the enormous profits to be had: double if he held Paul’s shares.
His chance came when Paul mentioned buying a house if he
could convince a Thai bank to loan him the money. ‘Why pay interest on a loan? Many Thai banks will not lend to foreigners, especially for the illegal purchase of a house.’ Before Paul could reply,
he ploughed on. ‘Now we are both rich men, I can afford to buy
you out of the business and pay you back the money you put into
The Trader Policy
The Trader has a stated policy of not criticizing the local (Thai)
police or local government authorities.
We have been seen by some as lacking in community spirit by
doing this. That we don’t wish to write about it (editors privilege)
doesn’t mean that we agree with everything that happens in our
fair city. Or that we don’t get very upset about some of the stories
we hear or some of the things we see.
But the Thai police are a very powerful force in our community and it would be an absolutely suicidal thing for the Trader to
publish negative stories or articles about the authorities. The immigration department also allow us to put the Trader there for your
enjoyment.
E-Mail: [email protected] with your short story
Page 35
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
The Competitive Edge
S
by Mike Bell
omsak was the youngest of four sons and as such
didn’t merit an education. Perhaps merit is the
wrong word: his two older brothers had attended
school and did well enough but then rice prices
took a tumble and there was no money left for fripperies only essentials. His father and his brothers worked every
hour of daylight but the land never gave them a profit, merely
sustenance. Whilst the others were out in the field Somsak
helped his mother round the house particularly with the cooking.
He found, to his surprise, that he was rather good at it. His brothers had started out jeering his efforts but eventually gave him
praise – especially for his Som Tam.
His mother taught him the basics – the four main tastes of
Thai cuisine: sour lime, hot chili, salty fish sauce and the sweetness of palm sugar. Then he began to experiment with different
ingredients. He would scour the fields and canals for pu khem,
the brined black crabs the Isaan folk loved so much. He watched
proudly as his family crunched them whole. Many neighbours
began to stop by to sample his concoctions.
Soon he became a familiar face on the market held twice
weekly in his little village of Selium in Surin. Queues formed and
there was good natured jostling to buy before his supplies were
exhausted. Some days he came home and gave his parents a
thousand baht. Eventually it was decided he would go to Pattaya.
Some of his customers were young girls who worked in Pattaya
during what they called the High season. They always seemed to
have plenty of money and told him his Som Tam would sell out
before lunchtime for double what he charged now.
He was nervous as he boarded the bus in Prasat but one of
the girls had told his mother she would take care of him till he
Page 36
found his feet. She even knew someone who would sponsor him.
He discovered that this meant the sponsor would provide him
with equipment, supplies even a pitch in return for a daily share
of the profits.
Somsak was a success from his first day. He found lots of
new and exciting ingredients in Pattaya markets. He had an
instinctive flair for adding just the right amount of nam pla, fish
sauce and shrimp paste and garlic and a dozen alternatives that
brought the customers back again and again.
He used only good quality meat but sparingly to keep down
the price. The money came rolling in and he was able to open
a Bangkok bank account and transfer money home every week.
The only irritant was his sponsor, Kong.
Initially he had had demanded a flat rate – a sum of money
for the hire of the utensils. As Somsak’s profits grew, Kong got
greedy. He was a greasy-haired, pudgy, thirty year old who had
been living off his girl friend for years. Originally he hailed from
Chiang Mai and was viewed as an interloper. In the early years
he had driven a motorbike taxi but recently had given this up in
favour of lao kao, rice whisky. One morning, reeking of the sour
smell of last night’s binge, he announced he would be expecting
fifty per cent of all daily takings from now on.
Somsak now had enough money to buy his own utensils,
ingredients and even a motorized shop rather than the handcart
he pushed now. Naturally he refused Kong’s offer and told him
from now on he no longer needed anything from Kong and had
decided the partnership was over. The older man pulled out a
wicked curved knife and held it to Somsak’s throat. ‘I’ll tell you
when you no longer need me.’ To ensure Somsak learned the
lesson he sliced open the youth’s cheek to the bone and rich red
blood spilled onto his shirt. ‘Now get back to the kitchen and
make me some money.’
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
It was four days before Kong saw the boy again. His cheek
had been crudely stitched and he looked pale. ‘I did not give you
leave to take a holiday, where have you been? You owe me four
days takings.’
‘Master, I had to return home. I needed to speak to my family and decide what my future holds. I will give you your money
tonight but I will need to work till late to make up four days.’ The
boy promised he would come to Kong’s lodging at eleven.
Kong sat nursing a nearly empty bottle. He looked at his
watch again for maybe the tenth time since eleven. The boy was
half an hour late and would need a lesson in punctuality. Finally
he heard the downstairs door slam and footsteps on the stairs.
Barely able to contain his rage, he threw open the door to his
room. With difficulty, he saw, in the gloom of the corridor, not
only Somsak but three bigger versions of Somsak. They pushed
him back roughly into his room. It was the boy who made the
unnecessary introductions. ‘Master, these are my brothers. They
have come to sever our partnership for ever.’
Kong watched in mute horror as the three closed in on
him, drawing their own knives. Before he could utter more than
a single half-strangled cry, they pulled him to the floor and the
darkness enclosed him. The brothers went to work with a vengeance.
The next day Somsak went back to work on his usual trek
down Soi 6, along Beach road to Sois 7 and 8. Each time he
stopped, queues formed. He was exalted and exhausted simultaneously. He had worked all night cooking an extra big batch. His
brothers had helped. By mid-afternoon he had completely sold
out. The clamour for more touched him and he returned to his
meager lodgings to make another batch.
Now his brothers had returned to Issaan on the Nakkon
Chai Air bus, he felt lonelier than ever. He looked round the small
space that served as his sleeping quarters and kitchen. He would
soon be able to afford a bigger place. The room was dominated
by a huge chest freezer where he kept ingredients fresh after
buying in bulk. He lifted the lid, the words of his customers still
ringing in his ears, ‘Somsak, today your food is so much tastier;
meatier.’
‘I am glad you like it. It is my new recipe. I call it Chiang
Mai Curry; I’ve put in plenty of pig meat. But it’s only for a limited
period….there’s a secret ingredient that’s very hard to find.’ He
could barely suppress a giggle as he stared into his freezer at the
clear plastic bag containing Kong’s head – his face frozen in horror at his last view of the world – Somsak’s brothers closing in on
him, knives glittering cruelly in the murk of his own room.
The boy murmured to himself again the words he had spoken at the time. ‘Thank you, master, I owe you so much.’
Page 37
Pattaya Trader
THE LETTERS
Short Stories
F
red saw the mamasan hand the letter to Kanya,
who he thought was the best looking girl in the
Handshake bar. It was an open-bar, adorned with the
flags of most nations and Fred visited daily just to
see Kanya. He was forty-eight and five-foot-four, and
on his first Thailand vacation from Barnsley in England. He’d been
married to Hilda for twenty-eight years but she had died two-years
previously from something Fred couldn’t pronounce. He was in Pattaya to find a new wife and to fill the gap left by Hilda.
Kanya looked up from the letter and smiled at him, and halfway through reading she threw her head back and laughed loudly.
She replaced the letter in the envelope and smiled again, then
came over and shook his hand.
“Thank you,” she said, and sauntered to a seat behind the
big fridge to eat her meal with the other girls.
The mamasan had told Fred earlier that Kanya had been
working in the bar for
a week, and came from
Kamphaing Phet, near the
Mayanmar border. Her
mother had just died and
her sick father needed
support. Fred thought she
was ideal; he didn’t want
anyone who had sampled
all the tourists, and he
didn’t mind helping out
with the family problems.
But things weren’t working out as Fred had hoped.
He dropped his head
and stared at the cooler
on his beer bottle. She
could have said more
than thanks for the letter;
maybe sat down next to
him, that’s the least she
could have done. He could
have told the mamasan he
wanted to pay her bar-fine
but he hadn’t, he didn’t
think it would make the
right impression; also, Kanya didn’t seem interested in him. Perhaps
she didn’t like short men, although, she wasn’t particularly tall
— not taller than him.
He liked the idea of a romantic introduction, and a love letter
was his way of breaking the ice. The words weren’t sloppy; he’d
carefully thought them out and expressed his affection for Kanya
with decorum. The last line of the letter invited her to have a drink
with him in a classier establishment; he didn’t think a girl like her
should be drinking with customers in at an open-bar in Soi Diana
Inn.
As she had ignored him, he didn’t feel like visiting the bar
the next day and spent the afternoon composing another letter to
Kanya. This time he was going to be a little bolder and he was going
to say how much he was attracted to her and how desperate he
was to take her out.
He called at the bar and asked one of the girls to give his letter
to Kanya. He watched Kanya
open it and again she threw
her head back and laughed.
Fred gulped down his beer
and stormed off. He didn’t
understand what was so
funny about his letters.
They were serious and romantic and he thought that
last one burned with the
fire of a best seller.
In the evening he
went to Walking Street and
found himself in the Vixens
ago-go. His friend Mike was
pawing one of the dancers
and Fred tapped him on the
shoulder. Mike was about
six-years younger than Fred
and an Australian expat. He
was drunk most of the time
but he was always able to
hold a sensible conversation. Fred had liked him
since they met on the first
day of Fred’s vacation
SOMETIMES I HAVE TO COAX HIM TO DROP THE LETTERS
Page 38
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
and he found him to be a happy and friendly guy.
“G’day, Fred. You’re a long way off course ain’t ya? Your watering hole’s up by Diana.”
“Just thought I’d have a change,” Fred replied.
Fred didn’t want to tell Mike about Kanya and was sure an
Aussie would think he was a sissy pom if he heard about the love
letters.
Within the next thirty-minutes they talked about Thai-girls,
Aussie-beer, American women over forty, and auctioning livestock.
Eventually, the conversation got back to bar-girls and Mike
told Fred that he had a serious crush on a girl who worked at the
Handshake bar. Fred gulped and went silent as Mike described his
dream girl down to her mini-pigtails and coloured hair-ribbons. He
couldn’t remember her name and didn’t recall if she had any tattoos, but he wouldn’t have had to, as Fred recognised the description.
Mike kept a diary and photos of all the girls he had slept with
and allotted each a number of stars according to their performance;
Kanya seemed to be next on his list of conquests.
The next morning Fred ripped up the letter he had written
for Kanya and, in desperation, sat down to compose another. He
couldn’t let her know what Mike was like as Mike was operating in a
different universe and she wouldn’t have understood.
Fred was contemplating a visit that evening to see Kanya; his
last attempt to get her attention. The door bell of his hotel room
rang. It was Mike and he had arranged a double date for him and
Fred. Mike was meeting his new girlfriend from the Handshake bar
and she would be bringing a date for Fred. Fred reluctantly agreed,
knowing he would not get the chance to give Kanya another letter,
nor would he ever get over seeing her with Mike.
Mike and Fred arrived at the open-air restaurant first and
watched the Thai dancers in national costume performing amongst
a pine and flower displays. The girls arrived and stood behind Fred.
Mike, who was sitting opposite Fred, shouted, “They’re here!”
Fred didn’t want to look around and prayed that Kanya
wouldn’t tell Mike about his letters, but he knew Thai-girls didn’t
keep secrets. He predicted, with dread, an embarrassing evening as
he slowly turned his head.
“Meet, what’s her name.” Mike said, grabbing one of the
girls by the arm.
“Tum,” the girl said. “Why did you forget?”
“Yeah, Tum, that’s it.”
Fred stared. His fears were for nothing, he’d never seen this
girl before but she had the same hair adornments as Kanya. The
other girl, his date, turned out to be pleasant but he couldn’t wait
until they’d finished the meal so he could leave. He ran round to the
bar in time to see Kanya leaving with a ginger-haired farang. Fred
flopped onto a bar stool as the mamasan came over. The look of
disappointment on his face was obvious.
“You are always too slow and tonight you are late, and you
keep giving Kanya those letters.”
“But she seems to enjoy them,” Fred said.
“I don’t think so, Tiluk, she doesn’t understand English
writing. In fact, she hardly speaks English at all. She could never
understand why you were giving her writing; she thought you were
trying to make her laugh and she wanted to please you.”
“She seemed to be doing okay with that ginger-haired guy,”
Fred said.
“He is the owner of the bar; a Holland man, and he speaks
Thai as good as me. He’s taking her to help him collect some whiskey.”
Fred waited for her to come back and kept her on as a companion until the end of his vacation. They are now married with
two children and living in Kamphaing Phet, and he still writes her
letters.
Page 39
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
TILTING AT WINDMILLS
Submitted by B.S.
I
only drink when I’m happy and when I’m not. Today I’m
not. The random mixture of liquor that I’d consumed last
night, while doing nothing to dispel my melancholy, had
left me with a surprisingly durable hangover today and a
headache that felt like a concussion. My faithful friend and
companion, Pancho was now forcing me to eat a sumptuous meal
at his Spanish restaurant in Jomtien while commiserating with me
over my latest break-up.
While I aimlessly wandered the lonely streets of Pattaya, it
came to me that certain things are constant in the universe, like Pi,
gravity, time and my ability to always choose the most stunningly
beautiful but incredibly flawed and wrong lady for me. I tallied up
the score of my lengthening string of failed relationships. Thai bargirls: four---foolish falung: nothing, nada, zero, zilch.
First there was Noi from Rayong. She was smart, tough and
charming with a body to die for. She drew men into her orbit
without to batting an eye or flashing a smile. After a year together
her desire to maximize the dollar figure of our relationship became
more vital than I realized. Eventually her greed and cupidity drew
her into the greener pastures of another man’s bedroom.
Then there was Aee from Chang Mai, a woman of uncommon
beauty and funny as Hell. She kept me laughing until I discovered
that, to put it mildly, she was something of a tempest. Calling a
disagreement with her a row was like calling the Second World War
assault. After nearly a year, Aee’s irrational temper drowned out
both her beauty and her sense of humor.
Next, came Tik from Burriram. She was as cute and adorable
as could be and could talk the ears off a brass monkey. Unfortunately her middle name turned out to be duplicity. Happy as the
six months that we spent together seemed, she was just
biding her time, waiting for an American marriage
visa to come through before running away to
California.
Last there was Fon from Udon Thani, another magnate for men. She was elegant, classy and
gorgeous all at the same time and she exuded a
sexual magnetism that couldn’t be ignored. After a year and
a half of misleading me for money, I learned she had an insatiable
appetite for gambling and just wouldn’t stop.
Always looking out for my best interests, Pancho chastised
me saying, “Don, I know you’ve lost your appetite but you cannot
substitute cigarettes, alcohol and stress for three of the four basic
food groups! You must eat real food! And while you’re at it, why
don’t you look for a nice lady this time? When will you stop tilting
at windmills and forget those venal, grasping strumpets from the
go-gos that you are so enamored with? I’ll introduce you to my
wife’s cousin Tu; she’s only just arrived in Pattaya from Issan. She’s a
lovely woman, 37 years old, no kids and never married. She’s perfect for you. What do you think?” Groaning, I replied, “Only if she’s a
rich nymphomaniac who owns a liquor store.” I thanked Pancho for
his concern and escaped before he could set a wedding date.
Page 40
Even though each lady was distinctly different, they had
much in common. They all had faces and bodies that would stop
time, worked in a-go-gos, deceived me in some way and left me
in sorrow’s clutch. Perhaps if I’d only bothered to read the classic
Greek tragedies, I’d have known that the gods could be very
cruel, especially when it came to the hubris of men. Had I been
blind, stupid or delusional believing that goddess like beauty
could be happy with a mere mortal? Or like Pancho had claimed
were my actions just the futile gesture of a Pattaya based Don
Quixote charging at errant windmills? Had I set my sights too
high with my predilection for flawless faces and fine figures?
Would the gods continue their wrath and smite every future ro-
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
mance I ever had? Lost as I was in these thoughts, I’d unwittingly
wandered onto Walking Street and couldn’t keep the a-go-go
that I was fast approaching from looming larger and larger in my
peripheral vision. I knew the answers I sought weren’t inside but
that was no reason not to look.
The combination of beer and high-octane tequila that I’d
lapped up since entering the bar had my mind nearing that
place I so desperately wanted it to be, a place where booze
actually elicits clarity of thought. It was difficult to both achieve
and maintain and very easy to overshoot and get lost in the
sluggish lethargy of drunken stupidity. But after a dozen drinks,
I’d missed the mark and completely overshot. I was absolutely
soused and hadn’t even managed to drink my despair into submission. I finished the evening under the table. Pancho rescued
me and mentioned he’d arranged a meeting with Tu for the very
next day and wanted to know if I’d show up. Like the sensible
drunk that I was, I slurred, “Sure, why not.”
When Pancho collected me for the blind date, I inquired,
“Who made me drink all the alcohol in Pattaya last night?” With
little sympathy, he replied, “That was all your doing. How’s your
head?” “I’m stunned I still have a head left,” was all I could say.
Then Pancho in a tone reminiscent of a kindergarten teacher
scolding a slow student said, “Remember, Tu’s no bar-girl. She’s a
very nice and very attractive lady. Behave yourself.”
successive encounter, I became more and more attracted to Tu’s
pleasant personality and before long, I felt a sort of bone deep
peacefulness that made me feel complete whenever I was with
her.
Over the months, I saw a lot of Tu and every time my
entire body tingled with adrenaline and my face beamed like a
somewhat battered sun. Somewhere along the way my opinion
of Tu was altered, yet I couldn’t recall when she had changed
from skinny and plain to beautiful and sexy. But she had. Daily
I marveled at the hint of deviltry in her dark sparkling eyes and
the impertinent cast of her mischievous smile. There was not
a bar-girl in Pattaya that could hold a candle to the woman
that sat before me. I no longer felt the need to tilt at windmills
because I was truly content with this unassuming woman from
up-country.
One year later, sitting there where it all began, Tu and I
lapsed into a delighted silence holding hands over a table at
Pancho’s restaurant and like a pair of simpletons we just sat
there and gazed at one another in the warm air of Jomtien
Beach. Why, because today the perfect woman had just said yes
to my proposal of marriage. I was certain that the gods were
now pleased and had blessed our relationship. So, I ordered a
drink because today I was truly happy.
I sat in Pancho’s restaurant not really paying much attention to anything when Tu entered along with Pancho’s wife.
Without really looking, my first impression was she’s not exactly
a lottery win but at least she didn’t waddle up to the table.
However, I’d noticed over the course of the meal that Tu wasn’t
your typical Thai female --- desperate to impress, heavy handed
with make-up and jewelry. In fact, she wore none of either. Everything about her face was attractive; smooth copper colored
skin, almond eyes, high cheek bones, sculpted lips and a really
spectacular smile. But all her features just didn’t add all the way
up to beautiful.
Physically her arms and legs were very thin and her torso
lean, but ironically, her entire body was very well proportioned
with lovely curves in all the right places. Personality wise, despite her poor upbringing, she had an air of unpretentious class
and oozed that friendly charm found only in country folk, which
instantly made everyone, including me like her. All in all, she
carried herself with dignity, was attractive if not pretty and her
body was undeniably thin but well shaped. For a woman nearing forty I was impressed.
The next day I met Tu for a movie. Watching her in front of
the cinema she embodied grace and poise and stood out like
a cloud on a sunny day. She was, I thought, one of those rare
women who seemed to only get better with age. With each
Page 41
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
He Deserves a Medal
Taken from Les Abbey’s Soi Shanties
Disclaimer. Any similarity to any person/s or events
you might have heard of are entirely coincidental. The
characters depicted in this story are figments of the author’s imagination.
J
oy marched through the door of Barry’s bar. Quickly
looking around she picked out, and picked on Barry.
“Barry, you see John, ka?” she asked. It was spoken in a not so pleasant manner, more as an order than
a favour. In fact the voice didn’t match the petite thirty-something good-looking Thai female frame it came from.
Knowing better than to get on the wrong side of this explosive package, Barry answered “He was in about an hour a go Joy
and then he went off down the soi.”
“Who he with?” demanded Joy.
“No, he was alone, just drinking a beer. He looked a bit sad
really.” responded Barry.
Then spotting Les sitting at the corner of the bar Joy
changed target. “What you say Les? Who John with? You know he
butterfly. Tell me who. I kill her.”
“Sorry Joy, haven’t
seen him tonight. Maybe he
has gone to Patpong.” Les
answered.
Joy.” said Barry.
“OK maybe I go look other bars and Patpong, but you see
John you tell him I look for him OK? You say he come back or I
make big trouble.” demanded Joy.
Both Les and Barry quickly agreed to this demand. Joy left
the bar and started to walk down the soi.
“Keep an eye on her Tim and see where she goes.” Barry told
Tim who was sitting by the door reading his Bangkok World.
Young Jamie who wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the
mouth jumped straight in. “What’s this about a small dick. How
would she know? That’s what I want to know. I can’t believe you
used to go with her.”
“What makes you think you know Jamie? Look Joy wasn’t always married to John. Do you think she was born married to John
or what?” said Les who was getting a bit flustered.
“She really was something ten years ago wasn’t she Les?”
asked Barry rather whimsically. “One of the best looking girls on
the soi.” and after a slight period of reflection, “But always mad. A
right nutcase.”
“Yes Barry, and it was always going to be a brave man to
marry her, and John took it on with his eyes wide open. In the
army he would get a
medal don’t you think?”
answered Les.
Jamie feeling a little
bit ignored butted in.
“But why would anyone
want to marry a girl that
behaved like that. I think
John should take a belt to
her and show her he’s the
boss. I don’t understand
you guys. Why didn’t you
just tell her to get out
instead of sitting there
trembling?”
“You no lie me Les.”
Joy ordered. “Why you say
you no see but Barry say he
here before. Maybe I tell all
people you have small dick.
How you like that?”
“I’m not lying Joy. I
wouldn’t do that to you. I
haven’t been here long is
all.”
Joy walked to the toilet
at the back of the bar and
flung open the door. The
I’m sure it’s Annie Logan with Phil Sugar breathing
toilet was empty.
in the background
“See he’s not here
Page 42
“Jamie have you ever
disturbed a hornets nest?”
asked Les.
Pattaya Trader
Short Stories
Jamie nodded and Les continued. “Well you know what it’s
like when the more you thrash out the more the little buggers
sting you. You have only one option and that’s to run. Well that’s
what taking on Joy is like. She would spit you out in no time at all,
so all you can do is run like hell.”
Barry chimed in. “Do you remember when she poleaxed Polish Jack, Les? Poleaxing a Pole get-it? Ha-ha. That was one of the
funniest things I’ve ever seen. Jack was lying on the floor of the
Joker Club clutching his groin and his mouth moving without any
sound coming out. Man that was scary. All he did was tell her to
find someone else to bother.”
“Right.” said Barry. “Better go next door and tell John he can
come out of the toilet now. I will get him a fresh beer. He probably has an hour before he has to move. Are you going down to
Patpong with him later Les?”
“Yes she should have left by then. As long as John stays out
until after she has gone to bed he should be OK. That’s what I’m
saying anyway. See it’s easy to be brave for someone else Jamie.”
“Yes, not a woman to be taken lightly and she doesn’t have
a lot of forgiveness in her nature. She didn’t speak to me for more
than a year when I didn’t take her out after the second time. I’ve
got to admit she’s far too much for me”
Barry nodded obviously thinking of his own experiences.
“You’re a bunch of pussies.” said Jamie. “If she is so bad why
have you guys ever gone out with her? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Well Jamie there’s a little lesson there and I’m not even going to charge you a beer for it.” said Les. “You see when she’s good,
she’s very, very good, but when she’s bad, get out of the way. Either way, if you heart can take it, it’s a roller-coaster ride that you
will remember for your whole life. But you see Jamie it’s unlikely
you will ever experience it as she has John and I can only respect
the man for now having been married for almost six years.”
“And incredibly brave too.” added Barry. “Being prepared
to put up with this in order to have a few beers with his friends.
Which reminds me Tim, what’s Joy doing?”
“She looked in a dozen bars Barry and the she got a taxi at
the end of the soi. I guess she’s going to Patpong now.” answered
Tim.
Page 43
Pattaya Trader
Thailand’s Contribution to the Land Campaigns of the United
Nations in the Korean War
Part Two
By Duncan Stearn
In last month’s edition, I covered the beginning of the Korean War in
June 1950 and Thailand’s response to UN calls for help. Thai forces
landed in South Korea in November 1950 but did not see action for
four months. They acquitted themselves well.
On 2 June, the Thais, along with Greek, Turkish, and Philippine
troops, and heavily supported by US artillery, tanks and air
strikes, fought a successful eight-day battle to secure what
was known as the Chorwon-Kumhwa area, approximately 32
kilometres inside North Korea.
Soon after this victory the conflict developed into a
stalemate which became eerily reminiscent of the Western Front
of the First World War. What had previously been a series of
lengthy advances and equally lengthy withdrawals settled into
a series of main line positions with artillery duels outweighing
small arms engagements.
Between 31 July and 7 September 1951, Thai troops
assisted the US 1st Cavalry Division and other UN units with the
defence of Yuldong (Yultong), north of Yeoncheon. This was soon
after peace talks had commenced and rumours of a settlement
‘within weeks’ constantly swept through the lines. From mid1951 until the end of the war the UNC followed a policy of
attempting to hold the main battle line rather than trying to
achieve an all-out military victory.
For the Thais, the harsh Korean winters were harder to
endure than the numerous Chinese and North Korean frontal
assaults and artillery and mortar barrages made against their
section of the UN line. Most of the men had never seen snow and
a number fell victim to frostbite.
By the second winter (1951-1952) the Thais were
supplied with American winter clothing and equipment and
their officers given ready-made log bunkers for use as command
posts. A group of 200 Thai replacement soldiers who arrived
shortly after were given intensive cold weather training.
Page 44
For the Thai land forces, perhaps their finest
performance came in October and November 1952. The 21st
Infantry Regiment replaced an American regiment on Hill 255,
which was better known as Pork Chop Hill due to its shape.
Hill 255 was one of six peaks which had been secured by the
UN as part of a buffer for their line. The Chinese and North
Koreans decided that it, and a number of other hills, needed to
be recaptured and launched fierce assaults on Pork Chop Hill
on the nights of 10 and 11 November. The Thais, supported
by American artillery, held the line and killed more than 800
Chinese troops over the two nights. Another heavy Chinese
attack was launched on 21 December, but again the Thai line
held firm. When they were relieved by an American formation,
the US soldiers found the departing Thais had written ‘take
good care of our Pork Chop’ on one of the walls of the wooden
bunkers.
In a separate incident, Major Alvin Price, the American
commander of a battalion in the 2nd Infantry Division, was
travelling in a jeep in South Korea with other soldiers, including
the commander of a Thai battalion, when they came under
mortar fire. They stopped the jeep and took cover in a ditch, all
except the Thai commander. Price, a Second World War veteran,
left his cover and, in his words, “…went back and got him and
pulled him over into the ditch.” Soon after he left the army in
1953, Price was awarded the Order of the Crown of Thailand by a
grateful Thai government.
One of the last actions for the Thais began on 13 July
1953 at Hill 351 and became known as the battle of Kumhwa. A
series of Chinese assaults against the position were beaten back
over the next two weeks as armistice talks neared an end.
Finally, on 27 July 1953 after lengthy negotiations, an
armistice was signed at Panmunjon. Both sides agreed to retire
a distance of two kilometres from the last line of
military contact, thereby creating a Demilitarised
Zone (DMZ). Large numbers of US and UN troops,
among them elements of the TEF, remained in South
Korea to provide defence and act as a deterrent to
further North Korean and Chinese aggression.
On 31 January 1955 more than 800 Thai
soldiers and sailors arrived in Bangkok from South
Korea. Large crowds were at the port to welcome
the troops home after their service with UN and ROK
forces.
When Prime Minister Pibul Songgram
addressed the returnees he stated, “It is necessary to
withdraw the Thai Expeditionary Force, because the
situation around our own country requires careful
watching.”
All told, the TEF consisted of three infantry
battalions, four naval vessels, and one air transport
company. Over the 33 months the TEF spent
fighting in Korea these units lost 91 men killed in
battle. Another 27 died of other causes and 794 had
been wounded or injured. Five men were missing.
Additionally, apart from the
United States, Thailand was
one of 10 other nations to
send nurses to serve with the
UNC.
A special cremation
ceremony for the 118 men
who died in Korea took place
on 24 March 1955, presided
over by King Bhumibol
Adulyadej.
On 22 June 1972 the last 157
Thai troops left South Korea,
completing almost 22 years of
help in the military defence of
that country. All told, around
18,500 Thai military personnel
served tours of duty in Korea
between 1950 and 1972.
Unfortunately we couldn’t find any pictures to accompany this final
part of the article apart from the one above of Prime Minister Pibul Songgram Apologies for that
Page 45
Exploring Pattaya & Beyond
A Day out to Koh Tarutao
Those who make the effort to
get here (and it is a bit of an effort) are
rewarded by pure simplicity and isolation. No 7-Elevens, no ATMs, not even a
hotel (the only accommodation is at the
National Park’s headquarters).
Beaches stretch unimpeded, the
waters are translucently turquoise and
the inner jungle is spectacular.
Within our first five minutes a wild
boar had wandered into the camp, an
eagle swooped high overhead and a
troop of monkeys scampered past.
Getting There: Your best bet is to
head to Satun and get a ferry from Pak
Barra. There is no airport in Satun so
you’ll need to fly in to Trang or Had Yai
first and get a minivan ([email protected]; 074 783 222; 200B per
person). Alternatively, fly to Langkawi in
Malaysia and jump on a speedboat from
there (about 1,200B).
Sleeping: You’ll need to contact the
National Park office in Bangkok (www.
dnp.go.th) to reserve a room in advance.
Rooms go from 1,000B a night or there
are cheaper camping options.
Tip: Electric is only on during the
nighttime. Rooms have no electric points,
so charge all your batteries before you
arrive. There is a 200B entry fee as it’s a
national park. If you have a Thai driving licence, you pay just 40B. This pass
is good for seven days and includes all
the islands within Koh Tarutao National
Marine Park.
O
n the wooden reception desk sits
a copy of National
Geographic from
November 1980. It
Page 46
tells of the bachelor Prince Charles, the
fight to save elephants and about an
African tribe’s circumcision rituals. It also
tells a lot about the reception: this is not
a place that needs to keep up with the
tines.
Koh Tarutao has been the same for
centuries, a glorious final bastion of unspoilt natural beauty in Thailand’s deep
south.
Yards from the main office is a path
that leads to Ta Boo, a viewpoint that
overlooks the entire Ao Pante. The climb
takes only 20 minutes and for the most
part is up well-chiselled stone steps, but
there are a couple of sections where you
need to be reasonably fit to get across.
Just east of the main office is Tam
Jaroke (Crocodile Cave). Apparently,
saltwater crocs used to inhabit this
expansive labyrinth. A bridge used to
allow people to walk through, but after
it collapsed it was never rebuilt and so
now longtail boats take visitors to the
Among the prison’s most celebrated
inmates were So Sethaputra, author
of the first Thai-English dictionary; the
grandson of King Rama VII, Sittiporn Gridagorn, who developed a new cucumber
strain during his time on the island and
Luan Sarapiwanit, who swam out to a
fishing boat and escaped.
Guards abused their positions,
eventually getting the prisoners to
become pirates and raid passing Malay
ships. The attacks grew more and more
violent, with the loot taken to the mainland and sold off. Once the war was over,
Penang got pretty annoyed with its ships
getting targeted and asked the British
navy to lend a hand. British troops took
less than a day to take control of the
island as the guards legged it.
entrance, where a canoe awaits. The
three-person canoes can go deep inside
the low-ceilinged cave, where some
care is needed to avoid the stalactites
that hang down and nearly touch the
water. There are no crocs to worry about
anymore, but the cave is home to a few
snakes and hundreds of bats. There is no
illumination aside from the headlamps
that canoeists wear as they make their
way through the gloom, which gives the
place an eerie, isolated feel.
Conditions were horrific and of the
3,000 prisoners brought there, only 1,200
made it out alive.
Nurses and doctors demanded
goods in return for treatment, food conditions were scarce (one bowl of rice a
day) and malaria was rife.
Today there is a well-kept walkway and a few remnants of the prison,
though it’s the information boards that
are the most revealing. You can cycle
down to the prison remains or hire a
truck from the national park headquarters for 600B.
Elsewhere on the island, attractions
are scant. It is possible to take a speedboat out to a tiny island between Tarutao and Koh Lipe, but it will cost about
3,000B so you may want to persuade
some fellow travellers to go with you.
The main attraction here is simply
the remote beaches, which really are
deserted. If you get up at dawn, the only
other lifeform there is likely to be an eagle
searching out breakfast.
Prison and Pirates
One reason Koh Tarutao gets so few
visitors is due to its past.
In the 1930s a prison was built here.
Those cons who did come from Bangkok
were told crocodiles and sharks surrounded the island, making escape an
unlikely prospect.
Page 47
Exploring Pattaya & Beyond
A Trip to Chiang Mai
O
Article kindly submitted by Wilson
Part 2 Final.
ur second excursion on day two of the New
Year, was a little delayed due to our motorcycle having a puncture in the rear tyre,
however our renter had the problem resolved
quite quickly, and we were on our way to the
Hot Springs some 35 Kilometres outside Chiang Mai. On the way
we stopped off at the umbrella factory, and were treated to a
display of how umbrella’s were made, from start to finish. The
way to the hot springs was well signposted and the roads quite
good.
The writer and his lady at the Hot Springs
It still being holiday time there were many hundreds of Thai
people visiting the hot springs, and as we did, boiling eggs in
the superheated water, fifteen minutes were needed to ensure
they were ‘well done’, and avoid spilling a ‘runny yolk’ down ones
shirt. Everywhere visitors were either dangling their legs in the
cooler springs , or immersing themselves in the pool to take
advantage of the supposed healing properties of the waters.
After lunch we moved on to another nearby attraction
Muang Caves, although I do have to say these were very badly
signposted, and unless you had a Thai person with you, you
would have difficulty in locating them. To reach the cave entrance steep steps have to be negotiated. (they do love their
steps) The cave, was quite extensive, but not so large that a
guide was needed, steep steps took you down into the bowls of
the cave, which was illuminated by electric light. On surfacing,
we followed a sign directing us further up the hillside to another
monument, for those intending to follow in our footsteps you
should be aware, that from this point it is almost one thousand
steps to the top, the total number of steps involved in visiting
this attraction, including the cave itself is in excess of 1200 up
Page 48
and 1200 down. I can tell you that my calf’s were literally ‘on fire’
on getting back to the car park, and the next morning – well I’ll
leave that to your imagination!.
On 3rd January our intended excursion was to visit the
Chiang Dao caves, these are about 75 Kilometres from Chiang
Mai, but the route is easy, and for the main part the road good.
We arrived at Chiang Dao itself and fuelled up at the filling station, the rear tyre seemed a little soft, so I topped it up with air.
The caves themselves were some 5 kilometres from the town
itself, and on arriving in the car park for the caves, I realised the
rear tyre was soft again, and that we had another puncture !,
I thought we’d make it back to Chiang Dao itself and get it repaired before it went completely flat, but we’d only gone about
one kilometre before it did, and I was faced with the prospect
of pushing it some four kilometres back to the town. A local
stopped to help, and advised us of a small repair shop a few
hundred metres back towards the caves, so turning around, we
pushed the motorbike the short distance there. The mechanic
set to straight away to fit a new tube, he had some difficulty getting the tyre off the rim without removing the wheel, but after
half an hour we were back on the road, new tube fitted for the
princely sum of 100Bt.
The Chiang Dao caves a number of interconnecting cave
systems, some of which are lit by electric and have easy walkways, and the larger cave Thom Maa, which is unlit, and to enter
the services of a guide with lantern are recommended. The cost
is 100Bt for the guide with lantern, and it is expected that you
tip your guide, 100Bt for each member of your group. The route
taken by the guide encompasses parts where one has to crawl
through and many areas that require you to deal with uneven
cave floors and scramble over rock formations, so would not be
recommended for those with mobility difficulties.
Our guide had told us of another ‘cave’ some two kilometres distant, and after rehydrating with water, we journeyed on
to find that the ‘cave’ was part of a Temple complex, and yes, it
involved 550 steps up to reach it, they do love their steps don’t
they!!. However the cave was not a cave as such, but just a large
hole in the rock face, but had been beautifully adorned so was
well worth the trouble to climb the stairs.
The ride back to Chiang Mai was uneventful, we were
waved through a roadside security check without having to
stop, no doubt they thought I had an honest face, we encountered a brief rainstorm which given regard to the lack of tread
on the tyres of the motorbike, led me to prudently reduce my
speed until we were once more on dry roads. We arrived back
after a very full day at around 5pm, one of the welcome features
of the hotel was that it had real showers, not the normal puny
electric ones that one feels you could urinate faster than, but
a real shower with copious amounts of hot, hot water, which
I stood under for what
seemed an age, hoping
that the heat from the
water, would ease the ache
in my bum from sitting
most of the day on the
motorbike, and also the
pain in my legs from all the
steps encountered during
the day.
Jan 5th and we collected early for our days
white water rafting , after
driving out of Chiang Mai
for some 45 kilometres we turned
off the main road
and into some spectacular scenery, following a switchback road alongside the route of the river, we eventually
arrived at the watersport centre. An excellent lunch was
served to us before we all attended the ‘safety briefing’,
which was conducted in a jovial but serious manner.
Then it was on to the days business of rafting the river.
Sadly there wasn’t an opportunity for us to take pictures
along the river, but this certainly didn’t spoil the enjoyment. In places it certainly was a wild ride, with boats
becoming stuck between massive boulders, or on occasion being completely filled with water. On ‘quiet’ sections it was possible to just float along with the boats,
and below some rapids whilst waiting for other boats to come
through some of the ‘river runners’ were able to ‘dive bomb’ into
the deep pools from high rocks. The trip was about ten kilometres along the river, taking about two and a half hours, the water
was cool, but not so much to get you cold, especially with the
adrenalin rush experienced when paddling through the rapid
as if your life depended on it. All too soon we were exiting the
river, a quick change into dry clothes and we were soon on our
way for the hour or so drive back to Chiang Mai and our respective hotels. For someone who has run the rapids of the Grand
Canyon, I thought this would be just a ‘Walk in the Park’, but
this was really enjoyable serious fun, and a great day out I would
recommend. If you are looking to do this trip you can contact Pattamart Jarernsuk (Nong) directly at [email protected], or
visit their web site, or visit the web site of www.thepeakadventure.
com
On our final
day we were lazy
and had a lie in,
the exertion of
climbing all the
steps to temples,
monuments and
down caves, not
to mention the
paddling on our
rafting trip had
taken their toll,
so we took a well earned rest. Check out time was noon, but we
left a little earlier, leaving our bags to be collected later as our
train didn’t leave till 17.55. We
took in some more Temples that
were outside the city, in one of
these I came across a monk that
spoke excellent English, and
we sat talking for about half an
hour discussing many subjects
including religion, life, Thai
Culture and other matters. The
monk had traveled extensively
in Europe and our conversation was enjoyable and one of
the highlights of the trip,
Walking further we came
to the day market, this was so much larger than the Night Bazaar
and the variety of items on sale ranged from food vendors, fish
vendors, fruit vendors, all in stalls outside, inside many of vast
buildings containing stalls on multi levels, were clothes vendors,
luggage vendors, jewelry, watches, herbs, spices, you name it,
and it was on sale here. We could have wandered round all day
looking at the differing items for sale, and I think we would still
not have seen everything. We were close to the hotel, as it was
mid afternoon we walked back, hailed a Tuk Tuk, loaded up our
luggage, and were taken to the railway station. We only had
about an hour to wait until our train departed. At around 8pm
the attendant made up the sleeping accommodation, and after
an uncomfortable nights sleep in which the train swayed from
side to side, up and down, and the wheels constantly made
knocking noises, we arrived in Bangkok at 8.30am only one and
a half hours late!!.
The journey to Ekamai bus station by MRT and Skytain was
quick and smooth, and we caught the 9.40am bus back to Pattaya, arriving back at my apartment just before 11am.
The hotel we stayed at in Chiang Mai was the Chiang Mai
Travel Lodge, 18 Kamphaengdin Rd. - Chiang Mai, Thailand, It
was a clean , inexpensive and in a quiet location, but only five
minutes walk from the Night Bazaar and the city wall. Unfortunately they don’t seem to have a web site, but are listed on
many of the booking agencies for hotels in Chiang Mai. I would
certainly recommend it.
Page 49
Pattaya Trader
THE PATTAYA CITY EXPATS CLUB
PCEC Meeting – Monthly Review –January 2012
The Pattaya City Expats Club (PCEC) meets every Sunday at Amari Orchid Resort’s The Tavern by the Sea
Restaurant at the northern end of Pattaya Beach Road. For more information regarding not only the PCEC Sunday
meetings, but also the large number of mid-week activities, visit the Club’s website at www.pattayacityexpatsclub.com. The website also has useful information about living in Thailand and about Thai immigration and visa
requirements. If you would like a copy of the Club’s weekly Newsletter emailed to you, you can subscribe by visiting the Club’s website.
The meeting atmosphere is always relaxed, informal and friendly with everyone being welcome. The format of the meeting is
similar each week. There is usually a guest speaker, sometimes more than one, on topics of interest to Expats. In addition to announcement of forthcoming events in and around Pattaya, the Open Forum, which follows the regular program, is always a lively and entertaining session, when questions can be asked or information exchanged about Expat living in Thailand and Pattaya in particular. If
you weren’t there, here are the highlights of the meetings for each Sunday in January 2012 – the Club’s Newsletter on their website
contains a more detailed description of the presentations.
To start off the New Year at the January 1 meeting, the
topic was success in life and how to achieve it. Adrian Shepherd,
an author, speaker, educator, and entrepreneur, described how
he and his wife were in Khao
Lak on the Andaman Sea
Coast of Thailand in December 2004 when the Tsunami
struck. He explained how this
event was a changing point
in his life. He subsequently
spent much of his time gaining knowledge, which led
him to the discovery that
the beginning of change is
through education. It was
this realization that caused
him to write his book on success. Adrian then provided
his secrets for success noting
it is not measured by being
a millionaire, but is more
about living the life you choose for yourself.
“The best kept secret in England” is how Tony Heron described England’s Northumberland County at the January 8
meeting. Tony grew
up in this sparsely
populated area on
the border between
England and Scotland. Because of its
history of numerous
border clashes, he
pointed out that it is
home to 52 castles.
It also has miles of
North Sea coastline
that has been designated as an Area of
Outstanding Natural
Page 50
Beauty and contains the largest manmade lake and manmade
woodlands in England. Tony then took everyone on a pictorial
tour of this beautiful area to visit the remnants of Hadrian’s Wall,
several castles, and the scenic countryside.
The third Sunday, December 15, the Club heard from
Dr. Jittapan Chureeganon, M.D., an Opthamologist with Bangkok
Hospital Pattaya (BHP) on
the risk factors and detection of Glaucoma. BHP
also had a nurse providing
free blood pressure checks
for members and guests.
With diagrams, he showed
the effects of Glaucoma
on vision and pointed out
that if not detected and
treated early, it can lead to
blindness. He described
the types of tests that can
be performed and the
various treatments available.
On January 22, the Club welcomed back Bangkok author
Dean Barrett; a very interesting speaker whose
great sense of humour is
always appreciated. Dean
has lived in Asia, mostly
Hong Kong or Thailand, for
over 25 years and has written over a dozen books
with mostly a Thailand
or China theme. Dean is
currently working on his
sequel to “Hangman’s
Point.” Because it was
the start of Chinese New
Year, Dean said he felt it appropriate to talk about Hong Kong, the
locale for “Hangman’s Point” and what it was like during 1857; the
period that his book covered. Dean described several events of
the period that showed Hong Kong and China were both exciting
and dangerous for “foreign devils” and Chinese alike. Dean also
gave a brief description of the Chinese slave trade and the use of
pigeon English; including several examples.
It was a high flying time on January 29 when Dave Anderson with the aid of many pictures shared his career in the US Air
Force and later with United Airlines with his fellow Club members.
PCEC member Harry Sigworth a.k.a. ‘Sig’ introduces master
wordsmith Dean Barrett to fellow members & guests. Dean introduced his book ‘Hangmans Point’, a novel set in 19th century
British Hong Kong.
“British and Chinese cultures collide in a deadly serious but
often hilarious novel about an American ex-seaman and tavern
owner, living in Hong Kong in 1857”
Dave described how he first became a Navigator on C-130 aircraft
and discussed some his adventures during his two tours in Vietnam during the Vietnam War. He explained how he later became
a pilot and some of his assignments after that including his time
in Germany flying VIPs around and ending his USAF career flying
the C-5 Galaxy; at the time, the largest airplane in existence. After
retiring, he flew Boeing 727s, 737s, 757s, 767s, and the 777 for
United Airlines until he reached the mandatory retirement age of
60.
Chris Parsons tells about the Pattaya Player’s upcoming
production of “Dead to the Last Drop.”
Page 51
Pattaya Trader
The Pattaya Expats Club - (http://www.pattayaexpatsclub.info)
THE Pattaya Expats Club is the original foreigner’s advice forum, with member e-newsletters continuously since 2001. We are expats helping expats,
everyone is welcome. Whatever your question or problem, you can be sure
there is another expat who has ‘been there, done that’ and probably figured
it out. Free advice for expats on visas, health insurance, Thai law, investments,
medical checks, wellness evaluations and nutrition from professional experts
in our meeting foyer ‘Expat Expo’ display. Our tropical look Website, (teasing ‘armchair expats’ stuck in cold countries that they aren’t here) helps with
practical aspects of day-to-day living here in Thailand.
Join us Sunday mornings at the Mercure Hotel, Pattaya Soi 15. Hotel location map:www.mercurepattaya.com . Come through THE AVENUE Mall on
2nd Road, turn right and it’s a short way down on your left.
Featured Speakers in the last month:
19 February – In a very well-received talk we had Asia’s Number 1 Success Coach - Michael Bolduc speaking on: their latest product something everyone
needs to try.
Contact Pascal or his lovely wife Khun
Wan every week at their sponsor table!
How to Use Neuro Linguis- Or via email at: nutrition.club.th@gmail.
tic Programming (NLP). com
Michael covered his Ultimate
Success Formula, 3 Paths to Our Second special guest speaker was
Success and then Modeling Mark McClure, Top5 Sales Marketing
Strategy for High Profit.
and Entrepreneurship speaker all the
way from Dallas TX! Mark McClure,
About the speaker:
launching his latest TV Show and ProMichael Bolduc is Asia’s #1 gram called Sitting on Millions here
Success Coach. He is a best- in Pattaya! Learn how to make money
selling author, self-made millionaire, and sought-after seminar
off of your accumulated knowledge from
speaker. Michael has coached 1,063 people (at last count),
one of the Top 5 Sales, Marketing and Enenabling them to increase their income by an average of 41%
trepreneurship Trainers in the World! Check
within 60 days.
it out at www.sittingonmillions2.com. A
former United States Marine, Mark McClure
You can reach him at: [email protected] or (p) +66
began his entrepreneurial career at the age
(0) 2 664 0464
of 25 with drive, vision and only $2,500 to his
name. He was able to turn his meager invest12 February – We had John Howarth of Asia Pacific Pensions
ment into assets that exceeded $1MM and
sharing the latest updates on changes coming to the QROPS
a company with revenues of over $1.5MM
regulations in the UK. He spoke on: The Changing Face of UK
and a staff of over 30, all within 24 months. Pensions or UK Pensions – are they safe?
About Asia Pacific Pensions:
He has trained more than two hundred of the
•
The principal partners of Asia Pacific Pensions Ltd have FORTUNE 500, conducted over 4,000 training workshops for companies
combined industry experience of over 50 years.
of various sizes, spoken to SOLD OUT audiences in North America, South
•
The advisers are all highly experienced and trained to America, Europe, Asia and the Middle East. (http://www.markmcclure.net)
strict UK standards, as laid down by the UK regulators (FSA) and
have advised well over 2500 clients during that time.
Contact Mark at: [email protected]
He can be contacted at: [email protected]
5th February Double Header with our long time club sponsor, Pascal Deville of the Nutrition Club who shared his latest
updates on living a healthy life including Bionutrition – a concept of Oxydative Stress: the root cause of of about 70 chronic
diseases including the majority of cancers. He also introduced
Page 52
29 January we had another fantastic treat, Award-winning author,
Christopher G. Moore launching his latest book: The Wisdom of Beer.
Thai crime is a beat he’s covered for more than twenty years and now with
his 23rd book, since his tightly atmospheric Spirit House in 1992 kicked off
the ‘Noir’ movement. For Advertising Call 038 716 390 (Thai) - 038 716 986 (Eng)
This famous Canadian expat novelist handed the PEC a World Exclusive - introducing his latest crime
caper The Wisdom of Beer. Moore
joked, “I can’t think of better group
or city to unleash the full set of characters inhabiting that book. Some
of whom may be in the audience.
They know who they are. There is
no place to hide.”
Christopher can be reached at: [email protected]
22 January - Roudil Guillaume and his Business Partner K. Rose
joined us to speak on Elder Care in Thailand.
In a very well received talk they explained how they have setup Nursing
Resort Pattaya as a unique way to experience healthcare and living in
Thailand. They shared how this all came about, the need for elder care
in Thailand and the options available.
Nursing Resort Pattaya provides a place to live that is affordable, provides
24/7 care and feels like a resort. Nursing Pattaya is different.
Imagine your loved one being catered to as they relax and retire in style
surrounded by warm climates in a resort style setting. About the Speakers:
Guillaume Roudil is the co-owner of Nursing Resort Pattaya. He grew up
in France graduated in psychology and French before moving to London
permanently with his family. He has been in Thailand where he met his
partner Rasimon (Rose) to setup Nurshing Resort Pattaya.
RasimonThananchai is the co-owner and Manager of Nursing Resort
Pattaya. She was born in Thailand, and graduated as a nurse at the most
prestigious university of Thailand at the age of 22. She has worked in
hospitals for more than 20 years.
We have Club News each week from Club President Niels Colov, Board
Members Richard Ravensdale or Brian Maxey, plus the famous Open
Microphone Forum, chaired in rota by club member’s John Coughtrie,
Spencer Allgood, Dan Schwartz or Brian Maxey. Lively exchanges of
members questions, with a little humour, from the ‘Asia hands’ and ‘expat experts’ in the audience - for all those practical questions on life in
Thailand and Fun Town.
Club TV Reports. We are on Pattaya People Television, (both Sophon
cable, Ch. 12 & BTV Ch.4)). If you live outside Sophon or BTV TV areas you
can view this great Club resource on-line via your PC. Scroll down below
all the print news stories on www.pattayapeople.com homepage to the
bottom left corner - to ‘Pattaya Expats Club – TV’ window. Click to view
our current report or any one of our past meeting video clips.
PEC has 4 different Help Lines. Call 084 3489 501 for general enquiries.
For Christian spiritual comfort call Father Theo Lewis 087 133 1601. Legal
emergencies, please call Lawyer Khun Katrena Wannasakda 089 244
9709 ([email protected]), Khun Suthipong Trakulsak, 081 914
8193, (www.suthiponglaw.com) or Khun Somsak Chopaka, 081 808
9175, ([email protected]).
Life Membership is just 600 Baht, only by personal application at the Club each Sunday. The one-time joining fee
provides a Photo-ID Card - no renewals needed, secures a
free copy of Pattaya People Newspaper with current entry
ticket, access to member services, discounts (see our website
www.pattayaexpatsclub.info for complete list of merchants
offering member discounts) and interest groups, and Lucky
Draw prizes. Bring two very small photos, card is prepared and
laminated right between 1000am and 1130am.
Six-A-Side Football -PEC Members now only 40 B every
Monday, Wednesday and Friday between 1700 and 1800, a
social game of six-a-side football at the state-of-the-art artificial grass stadium, “Planet Football” located on Siam Country
Club Road. Contact Andy, 080 641 9742 .
Badminton – at Diamond Badminton Centre on Pattaya Third
Road, near Soi 17 traffic lights, Thursdays 18.30 pm.
Yoga & Relaxation - 10 sessions on Fridays, a creative mix of
basic yoga, deep relaxation exercises and preventing back
problems. Yoga mats, supplied. Register in the club, show
membership card.
Free ‘DVD and Book Swap’ table. Donate some stock and
take 1:1. Bring books, magazines and DVD’s you’ve already
enjoyed, and swap them. There is a newly formed Bridge
Club too plus Club Fishing trips, every month organized by
James Duffy, call 084-871 7649. Trips leave 4am and return
6pm, usually from Sattahip.
Lucky Draw prizes for wellness evaluations and meals for 2
at good restaurants, at each meeting, example’s – The Nutrition Club free week of healthy breakfast, value B 3,000– we
also have a free entrance to the next meeting and 250B
vouchers from Aroy Italy as well.
Our ‘Club Shop’ – has low cost polo-shirts with the club logo
and tropical blue silk shirts with our original club palm tree
motif. New range of light blue and mid-blue shirts, cotton silk
mix at 379 B with club badge too.
Entry tickets 180 baht from 10am-1120am. For that we
enjoy excellent facilities at Mercure Hotel, large screen TV’s
in overspill areas of wine bar and pool terrace, a fabulous
breakfast buffet that normally costs 300B! Plus free use of the
Swimming Pool and Fitness Suite for Expat Club Members
All Week! Reduced entry ticket price from 1130am onwards
of 80B for coffee/tea/water and to help pay for our meeting
facility.
As ‘mother club’ in Thailand for foreigners advice forums we
assisted through the ‘Association of Thailand Expats Club’s’
similar clubs to be founded, with Constitution’s, in Pattaya city
and from Chiangmai to Koh Samui. We have a thriving German
Language PEC - Deutschsprachiger Pattaya Expats Club Fur
Info : Andy 080 641 9742 (www.pattayaexpatsclub.de.tl) and
a Finnish Language Wing co-ordinator Ossi Viljanen, call
0818519620 or email ([email protected])
Page 53
Pattaya Trader
PATTAYA TRADER’S POET’S CORNER
Dear Reader.
Pictured below, a photo sent from Captain Mark of himself (at the helm) and crew setting sail from Portsmouth harbour (UK) bound for Pattaya Bay. Capn’ Mark will navigate using only the sun and stars. Not
shown is the huge stock of cheap English Pork Pies that Mark and the crew will live on for the duration of
the trip. Bon Voyage Mark.
W
and two blue garters
to hold up black-hose.
I bought a pink-ribbon
to tie-back her hair.
It’s what she wanted
and how I wanted her.
Then above all this
she wore a red-dress
she’d go take off
and let down her tress,
when the music was over
at the end of the ball,
when we slid into bed
not very sleepy at all.
AS-A-RUDE-BOY-PIRATEIN-OR-OUT-SHIPMATES?
“I am chipperer than a parrot.
Cheers mateys, arrr!
I’m chatting-up the barmaid
here in the Ocean Star.
Says her name is Betty.
I’m betting the girl will
show me the open door
before I get my fill !”
WHITE-WINE-AND-WITHAN-INDIA-TONIC
She was just the tonic
for my mature wine.
She came from Sri Lanka
to Siam’s city-of-sunshine.
A black rose, a black pearl,
an oh so-pretty Indian girl.
SKIN-TONE
Redheads, blondes, brunettes,
hair is the curious thing
attracts many a man.
Why not the colour of skin?
LOTUS-FLOWER-MINEWAS-TRANSFORMED?
Crisp-fried-grasshoppers
were my girlfriend’s delight,
and she sang with the crickets
at the dark of night.
“You are what you eat,” sure say some.
Did a kind of locust my lotus become?
YES-SHE-WOULD-BE-SO-MUCHBIGGER-THAN-HER-LIPS-INENGLAND
The girl shakes her hips,
pouts her Mick-Jagger-Lips.
Were she in the West
she’d have fame at her fingertips.
In a Far-Eastern go-go,
like a Rolling-Stones’-logo
are mouths with the tongues
that lap up the show.
Page 54
THE TWO STARS
I spy the twin-stars
that peep into your boudoir
like the eyes on the dark-face
of a feline other than you.
Let my lips and my fingers trace
your body’s every secret place.
Ah yes girl I’ll take you far,
over the twin-stars beyond the moon.
IN-RUDE-HEALTH-WAS-HE
Farmer Wiles was all smiles
over his prize-cucumber.
Gave the eye as a girl passed-by
to where the village folk number.
Oh so smiley, and oh so wily
as a fox, he the maid pursued.
Talked his way into a roll in the hay
with the pretty Miss. Find this verse
is rude !
WOULD-YOU-ADAM-AND-EVE-IT?
At The Windmill, in Soho,
was many a nude-turn on show.
The girl-figures could not move
should the authorities disapprove.
So statue-like the models stood,
works of art though flesh-and.blood.
THE-ROSY-NIGHT-AHEAD
I bought her a corset
as red as a rose
YES-QUEEN-VICTORIA’S-VERYDARK-AND-CONTRADICTORYTIMES
The Whitechapel Murders
were such a bleak-outlook.
Where the Bobby-Peelers
to bring Jack-the-Ripper to book?
Victorian poverty was a fact
and Sherlock Holmes pure-fiction.
Gentlemen paid for prostitutes
then petitioned for their restriction !
YES-A-REDDY-LIPGLOSS-GIRL
The girl’s two lips
left a rosy-impress
with one long kiss
in a downward-caress.
A kiss soft and slow
gave me a glossy-glow.
THE-WHEELING-WORLD
The world is a wheel
to which we are bound.
We turn about in circles.
What goes around comes back around.
So it is with the deeds of men.
The deed gets to be done to them.
Hi...Is there anyone out there who
can write prose or rhyming verse ? If you
can, why not share your talent with other
folks. We would love to hear from you.
Page 55
Pattaya Trader
Personal Finance
Invest in Equity Markets with Peace
of Mind
I
nvesting in the stock market can be very rewarding and exciting
The terms of the note state that Morgan Stanley aims to
when markets are rising. But when the markets fall the losses can
return the full capital at maturity + as just stated 152% of the
Some financial advice from David Thrifty
be painful.
averaged growth generated by the FTSE 100 over the five years.
We all like to see our money grow and to ensure that we get
value for our money, yet many of us feel uncomfortable with the likelihood of the market going down.
Needless to say that the stock markets have been, and still are,
volatile and it is impossible to know when the turbulence will stop or
when is the best time to buy equities.
Because of this a new fund introduced by Skandia could be the
answer.
It is called the RS GBP Protected FTSE100 Fund.
The fund is designed to give access to equity markets, while providing you with market protection.
The company in their launch literature goes out of its way to point
out that the fund is protected not “Guaranteed”
What is the fund?
The RS GBP Protected FTSE100 Fund is a structured fund available
exclusively through Royal Skandia’s Portfolio Bonds.
The aim of the protected fund is to offer protection for the money
you invest in this fund through your RSK Portfolio Bond.
It is designed to provide returns that are linked to the performance of the FTSE 100 index whilst also providing 100 per cent protection to your initial investment at the end of the 5 year term, no matter
how the FTSE 100 index performs.
The performance of the FTSE100 index will be averaged over the 5
year term. You could benefit from152% of the average growth over that
period.
The only time you may not get back all your money and/or any
growth is if you withdraw all or part of your investment from your Portfolio Bond or switch out of the fund before the end of the five year term,
or if Morgan Stanley, the issuer of the note, becomes insolvent.
So you may ask how does the fund offer protection.
The Fund invests in a note, a type of corporate bond the aim of
which is for the value to be equal to the original contribution + 152% of
the average growth generated during that fixed term by the FTSE 100.
Page 56
The scary warning is that in the event of Morgan Stanley
not being able to meet their commitment, no average growth
will be calculated and you may lose all your capital or receive
back less than you invested.
It is important therefore to take a brief look at Morgan
Stanley.
Founded in 1935 they are a leading global financial
services firm providing a wide range of investment banking,
securities, investment management and wealth management
services. The firms employees serve clients worldwide including corporations governments institutions and individuals from
more than 600 offices in 36 countries.
Are they financially strong?
The creditworthiness of organizations is rated by independent credit rating agencies. They are used throughout the
financial world to assess the risk that companies and countries
may not be able to pay their debts. A ratings are described as
upper-medium investment grade and subject to low credit risk.
Among the A ratings (A1,A2,A3) A1 is the best rating.
Morgan Stanley is also rated (A-) by Standard and Poor’s,
another leading credit agency.
If this protected firm appeals to you, you must move
quickly. It closes out on March 21st-so get moving.
As already stated you can only invest in the fund through
RSK Executive and Collective bonds. The fund will be valued
twice a month and will be reflected in the valuation of your Royal Skandia bond. If you choose to switch out of the fund before
the end of the 5 year term the value is determined by Morgan
Stanley and may differ materially by from the latest valuation.
And one final warning if your fund is denominated in GBP
its value may rise and fall purely as a result of exchange rate
fluctuations.
For some this will be an attractive investment.
[email protected]
Personal Finance
QROPS - What is it ?
QROPS are overseas pensions that can provide excellent
retirement planning, providing the scheme does not break any of
the UK taxman’s strict rules.
Following are some explanations about QROPS basics with
links to more detailed information on QROPS.net:
Who can start a QROPS? Anyone with UK pension rights
that intends to retire permanently overseas, like:
UK taxpayers who intend to or have already moved outside the
UK, International workers returning to their home or another
country
Why would someone transfer a UK pension to a QROPS?
Anyone who passes the pension rights and residency tests
can take advantage of tax effective and flexible investment options that allow a pension fund a broad scope of currencies, commodities and markets that are not open to a UK pension investor.
These include managed and self-invested QROPS.
Where can a QROPS member live and where does a QROPS
have to be set up?
Pension Scheme – A scheme giving benefits to someone in
the event of his/her:
Retirement, Death, Reaching a particular age or Suffering serious illness or incapacity
A pension scheme does not have to give benefits in all
these situations, for instance, if the scheme gave death benefits
in service only, it would still meet the definition.
When can you transfer to a QROPS
UK pensions can transfer in to a QROPS at any time, as long
as the UK pension fund has not been used to buy an annuity.
For more detailed information about starting a QROPS
transfer, contact QROPS.net
A QROPS can be based in any country outside the UK, providing the scheme follows the rules stipulated by HM Revenue
and Customs.
One advantage is a QROPS can be set up in one country
while the member can live somewhere else. This allows the
pension to grow in a low tax jurisdiction while the benefits can
be paid out in any major currency in another country with low
income tax rates.
What is a QROPS?
QROPS is the short name for a “Qualifying Recognised Overseas Pension Scheme’. QROPS were launched on April 6, 2006, as
part of new legislation aimed at simplifying pensions.
The jargon means:
Qualifying – that the scheme meets HM Revenue and Customs QROPS rules
Recognised – the scheme is regulated by the tax authorities
in the country where the QROPS is opened
Overseas – the QROPS is a scheme based outside the UK
Page 57
Pattaya Trader
In Case You Didn’t Know - Olly Murs
Verdict: 6/10
entertain, and he’s not about to change for anyone. Anyway, the music gurus who run his career probably love this
kind of pappy pop, so he’s on firm ground.
et another X
Factor candidate continues
their charm
offensive with
another inoffensive, quirky CD.
I Don’t Love You Too’ is another such example, as it
pops and bounces along with a big cheesy grin. Murs style
doesn’t go off course too often, but there are some hints
of ska and reggae on In Case You Didn’t Know.
Murs works best when he’s being jolly and witty; he
doesn’t do melodramatic ballads so well, as is evidenced
by a couple of offerings here.
Y
Murs is the fast food of British music – giving quick
satisfaction but ultimately rather hard to recall. He may
not be angst—ridden or guitar-smashing, but he is refreshingly fresh and honest, and deserves some credit for
that.
Pixie Lott - Young, Foolish, Happy
Verdict: 7/10
P
Olly Murs is the UK’s version of Bruno Mars, both have
silly names, catchy songs and a carefree approach to music.
It’s a rather strange title, as the chances of you not
knowing Mr Murs is rather slim as his success to date has
been impressive. Not that the critics like him. Cheesy Essex-boy with smarmy grin, goes the criticism.
So for his second album you may expect him to tone
things down and not seem quite so, well, annoying. But
he’s having none of it. Murs’ opening single Dance With Me
is typical of what’s to come, with a finger-snapping, Motown-inspired retro disco track. Second single Heart Skips
a Beat is less likeable and far less immediate.
Murs seems genuinely happy to be here and able to
Page 58
ixie Lott is another artist with their second album
on the shelves. The first shifted millions thanks to
her quirky style, stunning looks and a collection
of decent songs (Boys and Girls being the best of
the bunch).
That song may be
something of an albatross to Pixie as it was so
damn good. On Young,
Foolish, Happy there are
plenty of great songwriters on hand, and Pixie’s
voice is just as entertaining, but it rather lacks
the punch of her debut
CD.
Of the better songs
here, Kiss the Stars is
undeniably catchy, while All About Tonight ticks all the pop
boxes. Pixie is still easy to listen to as her voice just has so
much character and soul.
Dancing on My Own is without doubt the weirdest
song here. It comes with a chorus made up of glottal stops
then you should do your very best to avoid it (think Billie Piper’s
‘Because We Want To’ in terms of sheer annoyance. Thankfully, this
isn’t typical of her entire debut album.
The next single ‘With Ur Love’ does a great deal to redeem
herself as it’s a poppy RnB number that gets inside your head and
refuses to budge. As well as predictable pop fare aimed squarely
at the charts and radio, there are some more interesting numbers.
‘Beautiful People’ enlists help from Swedish pop-rockers Carolina
Liar, and the result is a weird indie ballad. ‘Dub on the Track’ is a
great track, thanks largely to help from a bevy of MCs. And if you
are old enough to remember Neneh Cherry’s 1988 hit Buffalo
Stance, it’s given a whole new treatment here, though now it’s
known as Playa Boi.
Cher Lloyd simply sounds young and fun, and if you’re over
30 you’ll probably hate it. She has a natural charm to her and a
decent vocal range, even when it’s basically just grunting on a
track like ‘Want U Back.
– so it sounds like someone gagging into a mic. On the following song, the reggae-laced ‘Birthday’, things get better as
Pixie even blurts out the F-word to show how edgy she can
be.
Despite some missable tracks where Pixie’s vocals do
tend to grate after a few listens, there is the excellent ‘Nobody Does It Better’, with a great Philadelphia sound that
lifts the entire album. Or there’s ‘You Win’, the real signature
song.
Cher Lloyd - Sticks and Stones
Verdict: 7/10
C
her Lloyd is yet another X Factor wannabe. She divided
the public with her
attitude and style,
yet it seems that, for now, she is
carving out a respectable career.
If you haven’t heard her UK number one ‘Swagger Jagger’
Lloyd was involved in creating the album, co-writing on
every track and attending sessions in the US, UK and Sweden. She
seemed keen to stamp her own identity on her work, saying: “At
first I was scared by all these big producers, and going on my own
to America was quite daunting. But now it’s like ‘Actually, I’ve got
the chance to be here, so why be so afraid?’
“Each and every track is different; it’s just a massive amount
of variety. It’s like I’ve got a music box and there’s wild things popping out all over the place. You could describe it as ‘Swag Pop’, but
I’d also describe it as ‘Grit-Ya-Teeth’ as well.”
So there you have it. Overall, Lloyd is a sassy, sexy teenage star with some real bite. How many other pop stars
would dare sing about ‘slags’ on their CD?
Page 59
Pattaya Trader
STAR BOOKS
T
Writer Wilson has a look around the shop
here are a number of second hand book shops in the
Pattaya area, but one of these, Star Books on Soi Khao
Noi stands out from the rest. Entering the shop is like a
breath of fresh air, no musty smells of old books associated with other establishments of this type. For your
convenience, every book in the shop is catalogued on computer and
listed by Title and Author. So if you are looking for a particular book,
you can be directed to it straight away, by one of the shops attentive staff. The shop is fully carpeted throughout in restful blue, and
well lit so that browsing through the fully stocked bookshelves is an
enjoyment in itself. All tastes are catered for, from fiction, The classics, romance, biographies, there is something for everyone. For the
ladies there is a complete section of ‘romance’ novels, which they can
read and dream of their ‘Prince’ riding up on his white horse (or Rolls
Royce) to sweep them off their feet.
Books are available in several languages, English, German,
Swedish, etc , and of course there is a large Thai section. One feature
is that some titles are available in both English and Thai, so that you
and your partner can enjoy reading the same book together, but in
ones own language. There’s a large range of children’s books and so
all ages are catered for.
sale the Kindle Book reader.
Star Books also sells new books, and is proud to be able to offer
them within an inexpensive price range of 200Bt to 260Bt. With any
book purchase, Star Books give a 50% credit of the original price paid,
against further purchases.
Star Books also provide light snacks, tea & coffee, and a landscaped garden area at the rear of the shop, which provides a peaceful
and tranquil environment for customers to sit and browse through
their purchases. Free Wi Fi is also a facility offered by Star Books.
Books can be reserved, and Star Books also operate a delivery
service
You can peruse Star Books Web site at www.starbookworm.com,
or contact them directly by Phone (Thai) 087 605 4326 or (English)
081 636 8189 with your enquiry or requirements. You can also Email
them at [email protected] .
In addition to book sales, Star Books has a large selection of
Birthday cards, and cards for other occasions, as well as offering for
Star Books, is situated about one kilometre from Sukhumvit
Road, and is surrounded by many multi national residential developments, it is ideally situated for many local residents, being nearby to
Tesco Lotus Express and the local 711 makes it convenient for customers to visit when doing their normal shopping.
If you want to experience something different, in new and
second hand book sales, in a pleasant and relaxing atmosphere,
why not take a look at Star Books, you won’t be disappointed. Their
knowledgeable attentive staff will do their utmost to ensure your
satisfaction
Top picture: Wilson and the store owner.
Bottom picture: Wilson browses a book in the garden while enjoying a soft drink
Page 60
BUY BOOKS ON-LINE AT WWW.DCOTHAI.COM
Page 61
TRADER
Pattaya Trader
THE RISK OF INFIDELITY INDEX
by Christopher G. Moore
Publisher: Heaven Lake Press
ISBN-13: 978-974-88168-7-6
Reviewed by Daniel Schwartz
About the author: Christopher G. Moore is a Canadian. His background is law (not law enforcement) but as in lawyer/law professor.
He has lived in Thailand since 1988. He first started writing radio
drama for the C.B.C. and then moved on to New York where his first
novel His Lordship’s Arsenal was published in 1985.
He is the author of twenty three novels including his latest The Wisdom of Beer. His Vincent Calvino private
eye series has been published in 11
languages. Heaven Lake Press publishes in Thailand, the publisher in
the United States is Atlantic Monthly
Books and Grove Press in the UK and
the Commonwealth.
He has also published eleven standalone novels, including the Land of
Smiles trilogy, which includes A Killing Smile, A Bewitching Smile and A
Haunting Smile. His non-fiction book
titled Heart Talk explores the use of
“jai” (which means heart) in the Thai
language.
Thai crime is a beat he’s covered for
more than twenty years and with
over 20 books, since his tightly atmospheric Spirit House in 1992 kicked off
the ‘Noir’ movement. Hollywood Feature film news on that is – production
company FilmNation, has optioned
the entire Vincent Calvino detective
series, there’s a finished script and
production on Spirit House is scheduled to start in Thailand this year.
Christopher is married and lives in
Bangkok with his wife and four dogs.
Page 62
He is a frequent traveler in the region, with excursions to Burma,
Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam.
The official website: www.cgmoore.com
Moore also received a literary award by the Private Eye Writers
of America in 2011 and now the famous Canadian expat novelist launched his latest book in his 10th literary talk to the Pattaya
Expats Club – The Wisdom of Beer, his first public appearance
worldwide to introduce his latest
crime caper The Wisdom of Beer.
Moore joked, “I can’t think of better
group or city to unleash the full
set of characters inhabiting that
book. Some of whom may be in the
audience. They know who they are.
There is no place to hide.” It is only
his 2ndPattaya based novel and it is
hilarious.
Now on to the one of my favorite Christopher G. Moore novels, The Risk of Infidelity Index.
From the Christopher G.
Moore site:
There are major political demonstrations rocking Bangkok. Chaos
and fear are sweeping through the
Thai and expatriate communities.
Our hero, Vincent Calvino steps into
the political firestorm as he investigates a drug piracy operation. The
piracy is traced to a powerful business interest protected by important
political connections. A nineteenyear-old Thai woman and a middleage lawyer end up dead on the same
evening. Both are connected to Calvino’s
investigation. The dead lawyer’s law firm denies any knowledge
of the case. Calvino is left in the cold. Approached by a group of
expat housewives-—rattled by The Risk of Infidelity Index that
ranks Bangkok number one for available sexual temptations—to
investigate their husbands, Calvino discovers the alliance of forces
blocking his effort to disclose the secret pirate drug investigation.
Before you hear from me see what other’s have said about
the book:
“Read this novel. Like the Thai world, it has constructed a
sophisticated structure, which delivers great intellectual and emotional pleasure with insight into the death and survival of farangs
in Thailand.” —Arte, Tobias Gohlis
“Moore’s flashy style successfully captures the dizzying contradictions in [Bangkok’s] vertiginous landscape.” —Marilyn Stasio, The New York Times Book Review
“Flashy private-eye mystery.” —The New York Times
“Think Dashiell Hammett in Bangkok. A hard-boiled, streetsmart, often hilarious pursuit of a double murderer.” —The San Francisco Chronicle
“Humorous and intelligent . . . a great introduction to the
seamy side of Bangkok.” —Carla Mckay, The Daily Mail
“The real star of the book is Bangkok.” —Susanna Yager, The Daily Telegraph
“Can Moore write and is he worth reading? On the evidence of
[The Risk of Infidelity Index], the answers are unequivocally yes.”
—Peter Whittaker, Tribune Magazine (UK)
“There’s plenty of violent action . . . memorable low-life characters . . . the real star of the book is Bangkok.”
—Telegraph (London)
“The Risk of Infidelity Index is taut, spooky, intelligent, and
beautifully written. Vincent Calvino is a terrific character who could
only have been drafted into action by a terrific writer.”
—T.Jefferson Parker, author of L.A. Outlaws.
“Grim, violent, and saturated in details of Bangkok’s underworld.”
—The Boston Globe
“A complex, intelligent novel.”—Publishers’ Weekly
“The darkly raffish Bangkok milieu is a treat.”—Kirkus Review
“The Risk of Infidelity Index [is] festooned with memorable
characters and a solid plot. Moore probes the country’s dark side to
new depths. . . . ‘Infidelity’ stays focused on crime and detection, in
a tightly written narrative . . . a satisfying read.”
—Mark Schreiber, The Japan Times
“…this book shows that Chris Moore is at the top of his form.”
—Bangkok Post
This month I am back to my usual format, as you can see
above sharing the inside scoop from the publisher and some high
level review comments from the previous readers who I must say I
agree wholeheartedly with regarding how excellent this book was.
This is another fantastic book in the Calvino crime series,
keeps you guessing with all of the twists and turns weaved into the
plot
On to the book!
With this novel, the 9th in the Calvino Crime series, Moore
makes his U.S. debut with a low-key thriller. As we all know from
previous reviews, this features Vincent Calvino, a disbarred American lawyer working as a Private Investigator in Bangkok.
Calvino looks like he has hit the jackpot. He has been able
to capture on video the transactions of a major drug piracy ring.
With the money earned from this job he will have enough to buy
out the massage parlor below his office and restore some dignity
to his place of employment. However, it is not to be for unlucky
Calvino since his client dies of a heart attack, the employer washes
their hands of it and refuses to pay, then Calvino finds the body of
a murdered massage girl downstairs, and to add insult to injury the
authorities get suspicious of the farang who happens to be in the
wrong place at the wrong time. As a result of all of this, Calvino
gets backed into a corner and is forced to take on an assignment
that is totally against his grain, working for four expat housewives
who want him to trail their spouses and catch them in the act. Like
all of the Calvino series novels, there are twists and turns to the
plot and the subplots tying all of this together neatly in the end.
These women have read the book “The Risk of Infidelity Index,”
which is a guide that ranks Bangkok as the city where husbands
are most likely to stray. This has unnerved them and they are
sleepless with the idea of their husbands in the bars of Soi Cowboy,
Nana Plaza and Patpong. So Calvino is called in to find out the dirt
on them and report back to the wives.
Christopher Moore does an excellent job of developing the
characters in all of his novels, this one is no different. We have
some excellent characters, including Calvino himself, his good
friend Colonel Pratt the high-ranking policeman with the knack
for quoting Shakespeare at any moment, an Italian chef (who can’t
speak Italian) who gives cooking lessons to the cheated-on spouses, an associate of the dead attorney, and even the bad guy, who
is one really nasty character you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark
ally. I think the real star of the novel is Bangkok itself, it is so real
you can feel the steam through the book. Moore is a very talented
writer, I am lucky that I can get all of his books very easily here, and
now everyone can download them too!
If you are a fan of crime novels then I would definitely recommend you get this one. The story will really rope you in, definitely
a bit of noir in it with an exotic twist. If you have never read a Calvino this would be a great one to start with. Don’t worry that this
is number 9 in the series, I have not read all of them or read them
in order either!
Your Reviewer:
Daniel Schwartz is Managing Director of DPS Worldwide Co., Ltd. in
Bangkok (www.dpscoltd.com ), a member of the Board of Trustees
and Programme Manager of the Pattaya Expats Club (www.pattayaexpatsclub.info ). He currently focuses on helping companies
to drive their businesses to success using an integrated marketing
communications approach utilizing both traditional marketing
and sales channels integrated with online social media campaigns.
A frequent speaker, trainer, MC and now writer as well, watch for
his upcoming book in the first quarter of 2012.
Page 63
Pattaya Trader
Two beautiful women (Cynthia
Nixon and Anne Heche) next door
tell him dinner will be ready at 6:30.
Are they neighbors? Is he screwing both of them? The answers are
yes. Sort of. The domestic situation
is straightened up when Brown’s
daug ter (Sammy Boyarsky) asks if
she and her sister are inbred. Brown
laughs and says he married her
mom and then her mom’s sister (the
neighbors) consecutively, explains
they are sisters and first cousins,
then goes on to preach the legality. And so it goes for the rest of the
film. Situations become increasingly
complex as Brown’s role in each is
revealed. His rationalizations are
so tight it’s easy to be swept along
into his crazy world, even as you’re
shaking your head. Like when he
says, “I don’t cheat on my taxes. You
can’t cheat on something you never
committed to.” He is a bad cop and
he’s done bad things, and you can’t
stop watching.
I
My favorite scene includes
many of the film’s heavy hitters
-- Harrelson, Sigourney Weaver and
Steve Buscemi -- in a scene at the
Rampart bureau. Reminiscent of
the famous sisters-at-lunch scene in
t’s 1999 in Los Angeles, and it
quickly becomes clear that LAPD is
dealing with the after-effects of a
scandal out of the Rampart Bureau.
For a moment I thought this was a
reference to Rodney King, but in fact the
King tragedy had taken place almost a
decade earlier. This only serves to make
Dave Brown (Woody Harrelson) an even
more terrifying mad man of a cop. He
chases down and beats Mexicans for the
fun of it, so it’s not so surprising he can
intimidate his female co-worker into eating her French fries. But it is cringe-inducing. There’s a mischievous glee you want
to be in on as he starts his antics, but he
doesn’t stop until his impulses are carried
out to the ugly end. Then he goes home.
Page 64
Top: Woody Harrelson
as Dave Brown
Next: John bernthal as
Dan Morone
Next:Stella Schnable as
Jane
Bottom: Jon foster as
Mike Whittaker
Woody Allen’s Hannah and Her Sisters, director Oren Moverman
pans the room in a circle, following the brilliant and biting dialog
between the characters as they dissect what to do in the wake of
another Dave “Date Rape” Brown problem.
The film is a study in paradoxes, heightened by an excruciating attention to detail, a killer script and magnificent performances. Has Harrelson won an Oscar yet? This should do it. And this
script deserves one, too.
Mickey Prohaska (Greg Kinnear) is another character you
can’t take your eyes off of, and also because you’re watching to
see how far he’ll take a situation. Except he’s an insurance salesman. The film opens at a convention where he’s giving a talk on
how to chat up potential customers (read: anyone he can engage
in conversation). Later that same night, his wedding ring practically shines as he very meekly tries to fend off the advances of a
woman he’s gotten drunk with. By the time he hits checkout, it’s
unclear if the woman robbed him or if he’s making that up to get
out of paying his hotel bill, and we’re only minutes into the film.
however, Randy’s idea of succeeding in a situation is being right.
He shows up at the farm to install a security system, and ends up
killing a suspicious friend of the farmer’s. Thus when the violin
lands in his hands, not only is Mickey’s financial salvation is lost,
even his life is at stake.
Crudup provides the real voltage behind this plot. He is
absolutely convincing as a rageaholic repairman, and the way his
character torments Mickey feels familiar enough to make anyone
squirm. Particularly unsettling is that by the end of the film Mickey’s view of the world seems accurate.
Mickey’s business and marriage are failing, so when he runs
across a potential dupe in the form of a half-senile farmer (Alan
Arkin), we know he’s going to take him for everything he can get.
When it turns out the old man is sitting on top of a valuable old
violin, Mickey practically loses his mind trying to get it. Just as
it looks like everything is going to work out at long last, along
comes Randy (Billy Crudup).
Like Mickey, Randy’s a liar, a cheat, and a thief. Unlike Mickey
Page 65
Pattaya Trader
THE EYE
present). It would be a shame if the temple did have
to close, so drop by if you’re in the area and see one of
Thailand’s weirdest temples.
Airport anger over blue movie
A few officials are in a flap over a Thai porn movie
which was partly shot at Suvarnabhumi Airport.
Airport bosses are now looking to see if they can
ban passengers from filming in the airport without
permission. And I think we all know the answer to that
one.
This follows the widespread distribution of a clip
which briefly features the airport. A Thai actress, pretending to be an air hostess, talks to a guy, who soon
whisks her off to a nearby room, where the action
begins.
A CLOSER LOOK AT THE WORLD
Suvarnabhumi airport director Somchai Sawasdipol said the clip damaged the image of the airport.
Monks face temple fight
He added that those wanting to film inside the
airport normally ask permission, but here no such
request had been made.
If you’ve ever been to the Temple of Happiness (Wat Saen Suk) in Bangsean, you’ll know it doesn’t quite live up to its name.
We’re not convinced that the airport’s reputation
has been unduly damaged; it’s not as if the sexual part
happens while a Thai airways jet is taking off in the
background. It’s simply been used at the start of the
movie to set things up. Given the number of tourists
who come to Thailand to partake in very similar P4P
activities, we wonder what kind of reputation is being
tarnished here.
Mugabe mess-up damages govt
Thailand has seen some fantastic PR disasters in
recent times.
There was Yingluck’s flood speech where she
pronounced a number previously unknown to the
Thai language. Then there was ex-Prime Minister
Samak’s suggestion that a female reporter who asked
him a tricky question clearly hadn’t had enough sex
the previous night.
Inside is a collection of horrific statues depicting what could happen to
you if you live a bad life. Being prodded with a giant stick, looking like a crab
and being chased up a tree by rabid dogs are just some of the punishments.
The highlight is two giant figures that look down on the scene with their
tongues hanging down to their bellies and a look of terror in their eyes.
It looks like the monks that run the temple are facing something of a
battle to keep it going. A sign at the entrance tells of a court order to effectively reclaim the land (we assume they rent it or it was donated to them at
Page 66
But Nalinee Taveesin tops the lot. Prime Minister
Yingluck announced that K.Nalinee was to join her
cabinet. So far, so good. However, it didn’t take long
before it emerged that K.Nalinee is on a US blacklist
for helping Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe’s corrupt government.
The report was posted by the Mail & Guardian
Online in November.
The US Treasury Department’s Office of Foreign
It seems that if we convince ourselves we are
eating healthy, we can ignore whatever the scales
tell us.
Student sends Oxford ‘thanks but no
thanks’ note
A student sent her own “rejection letter” to
the prestigious Oxford University explaining it did
“not quite meet the standards” of other institutions
she was considering.
Elly Nowell, from Hampshire, applied to
Magdalen College to study Law but was less than
impressed when she arrived at the world-famous
uni. The 19-year-old said she realised that attending “an institution I fundamentally disagreed with
was bizarre”.
The letter added: “While you may believe your
decision to hold interviews in grand formal settings is inspiring, it allows public school
AT LEAST THE COUNTRY IS NO LONGER MOVING BACKWARDS
Assets Control said that K.Nalinee and a couple of others had
been helping the incredibly dodgy Mugabe government. This
African country’s democracy is a sham and its inflation was
running at 100,000% until recently.
K.Nalinee is said to have done deals on behalf of President Mugabe and his wife Grace. The lady in question has
come out fighting, claiming that she hasn’t done anything
wrong.
Yet it seems unlikely the US has named her for no reason. Any association with a country as corrupt as Zimbabwe
should mean her invitation to the cabinet is instantly withdrawn. The US simply won’t deal with her – and that equals
a major headache for Thailand, where relations are already
strained after the US’s terrorist warning for Bangkok.
The scales don’t lie
In case you needed proof that Brits are incredibly unhealthy, you need only look at a recent survey. It revealed that
20 per cent of Brits consider fish and chips to be a healthy
dish.
For years, the British have been consumers of calories,
too busy to have a healthy lunch when a burger or roll is
within arm’s reach.
Adverts may tell us how we need five portions of fruit
and veg every day and exercise DVDs may be in every store,
but do we take any notice? Of course not.
We know deep down that junk food is bad for us; we just
don’t want to admit it. Statistics show that while we are eating
more doughnuts and burgers, the number of people who say
they eat them is dwindling.
applicants to flourish... and intimidates state school applicants, distorting the academic potential of both.”
Oxford is a little touchy about accusations of being out of
touch, as fewer than one per cent of Oxbridge students were black in
2010.
It recently revealed the number of British black students accepted in 2011 was at its highest level for a decade – it now numbers
a measly 32.
We can’t help but admire the teenager’s stance and hope it
will be a wake-up call for what does seem to still be a stuffy British
institution.
Page 67
Pattaya Trader
BusinessNews
Business – Internationall
End of Hitachi tellys
There will be no more Hitachi tele-
visions manufactured after September.
The Japanese electronics giant will
end making TVs, but will continue to sell
its Wooo television brand.
Japanese TV makers have been affected badly by price competition and a
strong yen.
Ratings agency Moody’s has downgraded Sony and Panasonic after losses
in the two firms’ TV divisions.
Last year Hitachi, Sony and Toshiba
merged their LCD units, resulting in
the world’s largest maker of small and
medium sized screens.
The operation got 70% of its
funding from the Japanese government. The combination means the
firms control more than 20 per cent of
global market share.
Rich-poor divide to grow in UK
The gap between the UK’s richest
and poorest cities will get even wider
this year, a new report has predicted.
The Centre for Cities think-tank
said weak growth in the private sector
and a failure to offset job cuts in the
public sector would have a major efPage 68
fect in various ways.
Among the cities that may do well
are Cambridge, Edinburgh, London and
Milton Keynes, while
those set for trouble
are Hull, Swansea,
Sunderland, Newport and Doncaster.
Places with
many skilled residents in jobs such as
law, finance and accountancy are set to
prosper while those
with fewer skilled
workers will suffer.
The gap between the number of
those claiming unemployment benefits
is also widening.
Foreign claimants make up 6.4pc
For the first time, the Government
has revealed how many people who
claim benefits in the UK were born in
another country.
The figure is 371,000, or 6.4
per cent of the number claiming
benefits.
Despite this, the vast overwhelming majority, 98 per cent, is perfectly entitled to claim unemployment,
incapacity and/or housing benefit, and
slightly over half, 54 per cent, have
become British citizens since first applying for a National Insurance number to
allow them to work.
Of foreign-born claimants, about
250,000 are from outside Europe, with
India, Pakistan and Somalia topping the
list of countries of origin.
In news that is bound to warm the
hearts of the Daily Mail, the news has
prompted accusations that the UK’s
immigration system is wildly out of
control.
That’s pretty much what Chris
Grayling, from the Department of Work
and Pensions, said, blaming the previous Labour government for the problem.
Hard drive maker sees hard drop
in profits
Profits at Western Digital, the
world’s second largest maker of hard
drives, dropped by 36 per cent for the
final quarter of 2011.
Losses to its factories in Thailand
after the flooding came to $199m. The
firm will restore pre-flood production
levels by September 2012, or so it
hopes.
Separately chip maker Texas
Instruments announced it would lay
off 1,000 employees in cost-cutting
measures.
Western Digital was one of the
most badly-hit companies after the
flooding as it makes 60 per cent of its
hard drives in Thailand.
Google revenue not enough to
stop shares drop
BusinessNews
Google saw a 27 per cent increase
in revenues for the last quarter of 2011,
shares still shrunk.
Google had revenues of $10.6bn
while its net profit rose 6.4% to $2.7bn.
“Google had a really strong quarter
ending a great year,” said chief executive
Larry Page.
“I am super excited about the
growth of Android, Gmail, and Google+,
which now has 90 million users globally
- well over double what I announced just
three months ago.”
At the same time Microsoft and
Intel also posted results for the same
period.
Microsoft posted flat earnings of
$6.62bn in the same quarter, seeing
strong business demand for software
and services.
Intel, the world’s largest chipmaker,
posted a better-than-expected 6% rise in
earnings to $3.36bn, even though floods
in Thailand knocked out factories that
produce hard drives and components.
Chevron appeals pollution ruling
Chevron has appealed to Ecuador’s
National Court after a ruling that it must
pay billions of dollars in damages for oil
pollution in the Amazon rainforest.
Along with the $8.6 billion ruling,
the court said Chevron must publicly say
sorry to Ecuador, and if it doesn’t, the
fine will be doubled to $18 billion.
The case comes from claims that
the company had a detrimental impact
on Amazonian communities.
“Throughout the course of this
litigation, judges corruptly operating in
concert with the plaintiffs’ lawyers have
created, rather than corrected, injustice,”
Hewitt Pate, Chevron vice president and
general counsel, said.
Chevron’s appeal is the latest in 19
years of legal cases between Amazon
residents and Texaco, which was later
purchased by Chevron.
The company alleges that reports
and evidence against it were fraudulent,
and that bribes and corruption led to the
original decision against it.
When an Ecuadorian court handed
down the original ruling last year, Chevron and the Amazonian residents appealed.
Chevron said the verdict was the
result of fraud and the plaintiffs said the
size of the award was too small.
The case, Aguinda v. ChevronTexaco,
was first filed in New York in 1993 on
behalf of 30,000 inhabitants of Ecuador’s
Amazon region. The suit was eventually
transferred to the Ecuadorian court and
Ecuadorian jurisdiction.
The lawsuit alleges that Texaco
used a variety of substandard production
practices in Ecuador that resulted in pollution that decimated several indigenous
groups in the area, according to a fact
sheet provided by the Amazon Defense
Coalition.
According to the group, Texaco
dumped more than 18 billion gallons
of toxic waste into Amazon waterways,
abandoned more than 900 waste pits,
burned millions of cubic meters of
gases with no controls and spilled more
than 17 million gallons of oil due to
pipeline ruptures.
Business – From Thailand
TAT tries to tempt Singapore’s golfers
Singapore is keen on Thailand bring-
ing in fresh tourism products and build
brand awareness through media outlets to
fight off competition like Taiwan.
The Tourism Authority of Thailand
(TAT) recently met 22 leading tour operators in Singapore in a bid to drum up
trade.
They discovered that Taiwan was
actively pushing itself via a Mandarin language TV channel in Singapore.
Thailand remains a popular destination among Singaporeans, but more will
be done to persuade them to keep coming. Golf is one of the main attractions,
and the TAT is confident it can come up
with new products and services to tempt
golfers to continue teeing off in Thailand.
Among the newest and biggest
resorts will be the Masters House of Golf at
Phothalai Leisure Park, which should open
in June. It is set to be the first six-star golf
complex in Asia.
Another plan is to get tourists going
beyond Bangkok: Pattaya, after all, has
more than a dozen quality courses within
easy reach of the capital.
TAT is also hoping to increase the
high-end tourism market by pushing corporate and social golf competitions, while
honeymooners can expect special deals
on resorts.
Outbound travellers from Singapore
were up 4.5 per cent in 2011 to 7.6 million.
By the end of this year that figure could be
up 4 per cent to 7.9 million.
Tourism forum proves a flop
Thai tourism operators at the Asean
Tourism Forum (ATF) in Indonesia were left
disappointed with the poor buyer turnout
and lack facilities.
The number of sellers was a mere 316
compared with 429 at the previous event
in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
Continued on next Page
Page 69
Pattaya Trader
BusinessNews
Business – From Thailand
Most of the buyers were from Europe,
Southeast Asia, South Asia and the US.
Manado is on the Indonesian island
of Sulawesi, a pretty remote spot for such
an important event.
Thai tourism operators were hoping
to pick up trade at the event, as tourism in
Thailand has been hit hard by flooding.
Around 17 million foreign tourists
visited Thailand in the first 11 months of
2011, up from 14 million in the same period the year before.
From January to November, East
Asian tourists made up 9.3 million arrivals, up by 28% year-on-year, while South
Asians accounted for 1.1 million, up by
20%.
Thai-India FTA - finally
Thailand looks set to sign a free trade
agreement (FTA) with India this year.
It has taken an amazing eight years of
talks, but it finally looks as though the deal
will be completed soon.
Bilateral trade should rise thanks to
the bilateral FTA, along with the Asean-Indian FTA which will impose zero per cent
tariffs on 70 per cent of products in 2013.
In 2011, bilateral trade was worth
$8.19 billion, up 34 per cent from 2010.
Thailand’s export value was $5.18 billion,
which came largely from chemicals, plastic
pellets, jewellery and ornaments, para rubber, vehicles and parts.
BMW pushes for CO2 tax breaks
BMW still plans to bring in a carbon
dioxide (CO2) emission-based excise tax
Page 70
rate for vehicles in Thailand.
The current excise tax system for
vehicles is based on engine size and horsepower. BMW said engine displacement
and horsepower are not proof of an environmentally-friendly vehicle as opposed to
the level of CO2 emissions.
A major part of sustainable development is CO2 reduction, especially as CO2
limits are soon to be enforced around the
world.
If brought in to Thailand’s excise
tax, the restriction may prompt other
automakers to invent and integrate new
technologies for CO2 reduction.
Blair backs Thai-UK trade links
Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair
says Thailand and the UK can help each
other do business.
In an exclusive interview with Ensign
Media, Blair said Thailand was the ideal
base for British companies keen to access
the rapidly expanding ASEAN markets. In
return, the UK still presents opportunities
for Thai investors.
“I think Thailand’s potentially a great
gateway for the UK into ASEAN,” he said.
“As the ASEAN countries become more
powerful, Thailand is a good base for Brit-
AirAsia pulls out of India route
Thai AirAsia has dropped the Bangkok-New Delhi route.
Chief executive Tassapon Bijleveld
said operating costs and fuel prices were
behind the suspension of services.
Thai Air Asia was the first low-cost
carrier to offer the Thailand-India sector in
December 2010, with flights to New Delhi
and Kolkata.
The move came only days after sister
company Air Asia X pulled the plug on
flights from Kuala Lumpur to Gatwick airport in London and Orly in Paris.
AirAsia X will now focus on core markets in Australia, China, Taiwan, Japan and
South Korea.
TAA’s daily Bangkok-Kolkata service
remains unchanged.
Air Asia has moved quickly to launch
three new routes from Bangkok - to Trang
province in the south, to Nakhon Phanom province, and
to Colombo from
March 1.
TAA will offer
passengers who
hold bookings on
Bangkok-New Delhi
an alternative travel
option at no additional cost or a full
refund.
ish companies.”
In terms of reciprocal trade, Blair
highlighted the UK’s continued appeal as
a global financial capital, an appeal that
is borne out by continued investment in
London property by Asian investors, despite wider economic concerns.
“We have a pre-eminence in financial
services in the UK that we should be keeping and be very proud of,” he said.
“The UK is still a good place to invest.
Europe and the West is going through a
very troubled economic time. It will have
to take some fundamental decisions about
the single currency but there are still fantastic opportunities in the long term.”
Blair spoke after addressing the Thai
Board of Investment’s CEO Forum in Bangkok, where he gave a keynote speech.
Page 71
Pattaya Trader
Page 72
Page 73
Pattaya Trader
I
Captaincy sits Comfortably on
Clarke’s Shoulders
have to confess to being amazed at the fluid and extremely
professional and effective way Michael Clarke has assumed
the mantle of Australian captain.
I don’t mind admitting that I thought he only gained the
nod because there was no one else the selectors could turn to.
When Ricky Ponting resigned the captaincy, Australia had
slipped from a position of domination it had enjoyed for almost two
decades to being in danger of
becoming a whipping boy for all
but the worst of the Test-playing
countries. The Ashes defeat at
home wasn’t just a wake-up call;
it led to a much-needed period
of soul-searching.
At the time of writing, Australia has drawn a two-Test series
against South Africa in South
Africa; drawn a two-Test rubber
at home to New Zealand; and,
the crowning glory, demolished
a touring Indian team in four
matches.
Clarke has literally turned into a run machine despite -or perhaps because of- the responsibility of being captain.
In an article about Richie Benaud, the cricket writer Gideon
Haigh quoted a man named Johnnie Moyes who suggested, “Often
in life and in cricket we see the man who has true substance in him
burst forth into stardom when his walk-on part is changed for one
demanding personality and a degree of leadership.”
Clarke appears to fulfil that statement. He has made centuries
against all three opponents since assuming the role of leader.His abilPage 74
ity to see the long term and understand the subtle nuances
of cricketing strategy has set him apart from his predecessor.
Ponting is one of the great batsmen of the era. For much
of his reign he had the services of the man many consider the
greatest bowler of all time: Shane Warne. He also had one of
the finest pace bowlers of any era in Glenn McGrath. Allied
with the greatest wicket-keeper/batsman ever seen in the
sport, Adam Gilchrist, it’s
not hard to see why Ponting didn’t really need to
be a great strategist or
tactician.
A perfect example
of Clarke’s ability to spot
the right moment was
his mammoth innings in
Sydney. He was 329 not
out, just six runs away
(one big hit) from passing the almost mythical
334 score shared by
Don Bradman and Mark
Taylor. Had he passed
that figure Clarke would have owned the second-highest Test
score ever by an Australian, behind Mathew Hayden’s 380.
At the other end, Michael Hussey had reached 150 not
out. It was an hour into the last session of the day and time
for drinks. The Indians knew a declaration was imminent. So
did the commentators.
What no one expected was Clarke to declare then and
there. The psychological effect cannot be underestimated.
From a mindset that no doubt had the Indians thinking they
would be subject to a few more overs of punishment, the
openers and the rest of the Indian top order had to rearrange
their thoughts towards batting in an effort to save the Test.
The result was four quick wickets to the Australians and
the sniff of yet another crushing victory.
With two successive innings wins, the fourth and final
Test was played in Adelaide, on a flat track. Clarke won the
toss and batted. Once more an early clatter of wickets (3/84)
brought Clarke out to join Ponting. Once more the former
skipper teamed with his successor to put the match out of
reach, both men going on to score double hundreds.
England all-rounder Ian Botham was appointed captain
in 1980 against the West Indies. Prior to this, he was averaging
40.48 with the bat and taken 139 wickets in just 25 matches,
an average of over five per Test. Botham led England for two
full Test series and a one-off match against Australia and
scored just 242 runs at the dismal average of 14.23. He also
snared just 29 wickets at an average of three per Test. Captaincy did not sit well on Botham’s broad shoulders. As is part
of cricketing lore, Botham stepped down and then won the
Headingley Test with superb performances with the bat and
ball.
When Greg Chappell assumed the mantle of Australian captain
in 1975, he began his reign with centuries in both innings of the first
Test against the West Indies in Brisbane (123 and 109 not out) and
scored another century in the first innings of the fourth Test (182 not
out; after being dropped on 11). In his next series, against Pakistan
at home, he also scored a century. His first eight Tests saw him make
scores of 123, 109*, 13, 43, 52, 182*, 6*, 4, 48*, 68, 54*, 52, 70, 121, 67.
That’s 1,012 runs at the Bradmanesque average of 101.2. The role of
leader sat easily with the man many consider the best batsman for
Australia since Bradman.
Steve Waugh’s first 15 innings as Australian captain were: 14, 0,
100, 9, 199, 11, 72*, 4, 19, 19, 14, 151*, 1, 24, 28 over 10 Tests. A total
of 665 runs at 51.15. Not much better than his eventual Test average,
so it’s hard to argue that captaincy brought a sense of greater purpose to Steve Waugh’s batting. But then, his steely determination had
been wrought earlier when he’d been dropped after a series of poor
performances. He had been determined to regain his place and, once
regained, he wasn’t going to let go so easily.
For Clarke, the next real test of his leadership abilities comes
with what will be a much-anticipated Ashes series on a tour of
England. As we have seen with the Pakistan resurgence in their 3-0
whitewash of a series against England in Dubai, much can change in
the cricketing world in just a few months.
Page 75
Pattaya Trader
Wenger is known as a canny manager who prefers to sign young
players and sell them before they get close to their sell-by date. So
taking on a 34-year-old Henry may sound out of character, until
you realize they got him on a free and will doubtless exploit his
marketing potential.
Henry’s two-month return to Arsenal follows on from the likes
of Jens Lehmann and Sol
Campbell. Wenger nearly got Patrick Viera to return too, so is
this a case of being unable to land or pay for new talent, or simply
having faith in the old guard?
Arsenal fans loved the idea of Henry returning, but it was a
huge personal gamble for the French striker. After all, it’s now five
years since he left Arsenal and he naturally has lost some of the
pace that once made him the most lethal forward in England.
Scholes and Henry: wise moves?
For Henry it must be strange playing second fiddle to Robin
van Persie, the undoubted new star at the Emirates. Henry remains
the club’s all-time top scorer but it’s van Persie who managed to
So who would have thought that Thierry Henry and Paul
Scholes would be playing Premiership football this season?
Scholes’ (Pictured next column) return to Manchester
United was perhaps the most remarkable – he had retired after
all – but United’s injury crisis meant he was keen to return.
Wenger’s re-signing of Henry for Arsenal is just as strange.
score 34 league goals in a calendar year – more than Henry ever
managed.
Henry is a much-better finisher than van Persie, though, and
he has been a great weapon for Wenger to hold in reserve. Similarly
Scholes has looked half-decent in his games. He still is completely
unable to tackle, but there’s nothing new there. Scholes and Henry
Page 76
both realise they are a long time retired and possibly their clubs realise they simply can’t get hold of the young players they desire.
Ragged Rovers in crisis
Being a Blackburn Rovers fan is increasingly hard work.
For the entire season they’ve been rubbish, led by a group of
business folk who don’t seem to have the first clue about football.
Rovers’ fans have done a good job in voicing their displeasure,
venting to the media and arranging 24-hour protests.
It turns out it wasn’t just the fans who thought the club was in a
mess; a letter from the Board essentially said the same thing.
A leaked letter from the Board of Directors sent to the owners a
year ago that pointed out, in pretty strong terms, their worries about
the new owners – who had only been in charge for a matter of weeks.
Chris Samba’s (Pictured below) decision to want to leave the
club was not exactly a shock. Samba is one of the best centre backs
in the league – and he’s had plenty of chances to prove that this season as Rovers have leaked goals.
Few have turned out quite as well as their clubs would
have hoped. While Scholes and Henry had instant, albeit brief,
success, others have simply bombed. Big-time.
Arsenal has done a good job in hanging on to players
that either don’t want to be there or have lost all form. Arshavin is a great example. OK, he did score four goals against
Liverpool, but aside from that he’s offered little. At 30, you’d
think Wenger would count his loses and get rid of Arshavin,
but no. Add to that, Abou Diaby and Tomas Rosicky – who all
but demanded a move at the end of last season.
Wenger is known to be loyal to players he has faith in,
but surely there comes a time when enough is enough. Of
course, persuading players to move on when they’re being
paid a vast fortune is easier said than done. That’s why Wayne
Bridge sat kicking his heels at Chelsea for a few years, or why
David Bentley is still on Spurs’ books (yes, we’d almost forgotten about him too). Add to that Paul Robinson at Bolton,
Paulo Ferreira at Chelsea or Alan Smith at Newcastle. When
such players are signed on lucrative contracts and they lose all
form, no club is going to offer the same pay scale – and players realise that.
Some clubs are great at better at getting rid of dead
wood than others. Alex Ferguson is good at knowing when
to sell. Just ask Eric Djemba-Djemba, Kleberson or Louis Saha.
All cost good money but were shown the door when they
failed to perform. Andy Cole and Dwight Yorke received the
same treatment when they were past their best. Such lack of
sentiment seems harsh but it is just what managers and clubs
need to do if they are to succeed.
So what about the likes of Liverpool’s Andy Carroll and
Chelsea’s Fernando Torres. Carroll has scored about as often as
a Pattaya lady declines a drink while Torres has been something of a laughing stock. At least Carroll had the excuse that
he wasn’t picked half the time. Given the
millions of pounds Liverpool and Chelsea
have invested, they are hardly likely to kick
their men out (although Robbie Keane didn’t
last too long at Anfield when he showed
similar form). Torres and Carroll have been at
their new clubs for a year now and both have
Premiership failures need shipping out
It’s been a funny old year for new signings.
* For more news and reviews,
check out Pattaya’s best new website,
www.pattaya24seven.com
Page 77
Pattaya Trader
Believe it or not, these ads actually found their way into newspapers all over the world:
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to- find person.
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.
Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.
Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.
For sale, Hope Chest, brand new, half off, long story.
Help wanted, adult or mature teenager to baby-sit. One dollar an
hour.
Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty
chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
Four-posted bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing
and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 -- $9 per hour.
Our sofa seats the whole mob and it’s made of 100% Italian leather.
Full sized mattress. 20 year warranty. Like New. Slight urine smell.
Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
Joining nudist colony! Must sell washer and dryer $300.
Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich
shop.
Open house body shapers toning salon free coffee and donuts
Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to
travel.
Found: dirty white dog. Looks like a rat... been out a while. Better
be reward.
YOU COULDN’T MAKE THIS UP
Page 78
The secret of joy in work is contained in one word - excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it
Page 83
Pattaya Trader
Page 84

Short Stories

Transcription

Similar documents

Nursing and Residential Staffing Solutions

Visa Run - Pattaya to Sihanoukville

Publicatie Vijver Corten staal Eng2 2014

Enecsys Micro Inverters - Zelf Energie Produceren

View property schedule

Property details 180816_11353434_1

the brochure.

No commercial ads, (ads will be removed after 60 days unless

Janmor Pegaz 737 - {ModelName} Charter Brochure