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Quench
MARCH 2015
Issue 151
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CONTENTS
FEATURES
5
Exile From Northern Ireland
An exclusive tale of brutality and banishment from the frontline of the Northern
Irish Troubles
9
Funny Business
Jason Roberts examines the booming laughing gas trade
20
COLUMNIST
11
The Sketch
Gareth Evans announces his retirement from the weird world of clubbing
CULTURE
12
Interview: Steve Punt
Interviewing comedian Steve Punt on Horrible Histories, Woody Allen and comedic taboo
14
Children’s Corner
We remember our favourite childhoood books, and why you should love them too
FASHION & BEAUTY
16
Easter Hamper
The cutest Easter themed fashion and beauty buys
17
Easter Nail Art
No better way to welcome Easter than by decorating your nails!
18
Fashion in Films
Exploring major movies from a fashion angle
20
London Fashion Week
The best of the catwalk this season and how to recreate them
TRAVEL
22
Wellness Retreats
Our picks of the best in the UK for post-deadline relaxation
24
Travel Scams
Common ones and how to avoid them
MUSIC
26
New/Newydd
The best in new music as per our editor’s recommendations
27
Microfest Preview
We catch up with two of the acts hitting this year’s Feels Like Summer festival
28
Interview: Ghostpoet
Off the back of new album Shedding Skin, we chat with Obaro Ejimiwe
30
Interview: Lucy Rose
Lucy Rose tells us about holidaying with your band and big name collaborations
32
Music Reviews
Reviews of Dune Rats, Glass Animals, The Cribs and more...
11
54
30
VIDEO GAMES
34
The YouTuber Review
The YouTuber Review returns for the final time
35
Looking Back a Year: Ubisoft, EA &
Nintendo
We take a look back at the three main players in the industry that all had their ups
and downs his year
38
Review: Dragonball Xenoverse
The epic saga continues and this time they may have actually got it right
39
Review: Evolve
The most anticipated release of the year so far. But has it lived up to expectations?
40
Interview: Charlie Lyne
41
Top 10 Teen Films
The definitive guide to the cringey genre we hate to love
42
Dudes in Distress
With fairytales in film as popular as ever, we ask whether gender roles have been
reversed
44
Genre in Review: Thriller
We’re in for a fright this week as we take a peek at thrillers (from behind a cushion of
course!)
46
The Multicultural TV Race
Is there finally equal cultural representation in film and tv?
FILM & TV
We talk to the director of new teen movie documentary ‘Beyond Clueless’
14
FOOD & DRINK
48
Quench Food Evening: Apple Jacks
See what we thought about our latest Food Evening at Apple Jacks
50
Microbreweries
Cardiff ’s harbouring some fantastic microbreweries, Quench investigates...
52
The Rise of Food Bloggers
We check out the big deal with food blogs
54
Foodie Debate: Chain VS Independent
We look at the debate between independent and chain restaurants
3
Quench
EDITOR
Sum Sze Tam
[email protected]
@QuenchMag
EDITOR’S
N O T E
If you’re worried about jobs and the uncertain future, here’s a little
pep talk for you. Don’t read if you don’t need the pep talk.
DEPUTY EDITOR
Chloe May
FEATURES
Aimee-lee Abraham
Ja$on Robert$
COLUMNIST
Gareth Evans
[email protected]
@Quench_Features
@_GarethEvans
CULTURE
Greg McChesney
George Caulton
[email protected]
FASHION & BEAUTY
Franciska Bodnar
Nicole Petty
[email protected]
TRAVEL
Olivia Waltho
[email protected]
MUSIC
Charlie Mock
[email protected]
VIDEO GAMES
Alex Glazer
[email protected]
FILM & TV
Aaron Roberts
Emily Giblett
[email protected]
FOOD & DRINK
Emma Giles
Kathryn Lewis
[email protected]
HEAD OF DESIGN
Emilia Ignaciuk
[email protected]
ART EDITORS
Franciska Bodnar
Naomi Brown
Eleanor Duffy
Lucy Okell
Olivia Thomas
Georgia Hamer
Bryn Evans
@QuenchCulture
@Quench_Fashion
@Quench_Travel
@QuenchMusic
QuenchStreetStyle
Quench_Travel
QuenchMusic
@QuenchGames
@QuenchFilm
@Quench_Food
A few things first.
I’m so very excited about this issue of Quench.
It’s the first issue after two of our key awards
deadlines, so you can rest assured there isn’t any
last-minute award-mongering here (although there
aren’t any in the other issues either, so I don’t really
know where I’m going with this point).
Anyhow, this is a fabulous issue and I’m
immensely proud of the people working on it. If you
manage to get your hands on a copy of Quench 146,
which was our first proper issue as a complete team,
you’ll see we’ve come a long, long way.
We’ve even got our own supplement, Ty Celf.
That’s right - Quench, a supplement itself to the
Gair Rhydd in the good old days, has finally got a
supplement for itself. Now that’s ambition.
And it’s a facking good supplement. Even if
you’re not particularly artsy (literature/visual artswise), give it a gander. It makes for good eye-candy.
QuenchFoodCardiff
@frankiebods
@honeyandbrown
@eleanorduff y
@lucyokell
@oliviadthomas
@georgialeehamer
@MantaRayBryn
SPECIAL THANKS TO
Emily Giblett, Olivier VDBK, Greg McChesney, Kathryn Lewis,
Alex Chapman, Caragh Medlicott, Emma Tranter, Charlie
Mock, Georgia Hamer, Ja$on Robert$, Emma Giles, Naomi
Brown, Bryn Evans, El Duffy, Franciska Bodnar, Lucy Okell for
coming and giving us a hand on deadline night, everyone on the Ty
Celf editorial team as well as Simon Brown for saving Ty Celf’s
front cover and subsequently our sanity, Ainsley Harriott for always,
always smiling, and Drake, because he told us to hold on, when all we
wanted to do was go home.
Less ugh, more HELL YEAH!
The uncertain future seems to be bearing
down on everyone around me right now. Jobs,
internships, relationships, awards ceremonies,
student media next year… The nature of university and all educational institutions, really - is such that
people pass through at an unrelentingly steady rate.
The narrative that I hear over and over again is
“ugh”. Ugh will I get a good grade for my final degree,
UGH will I get a job, ugghh will I get an internship
over the summer, and so on and so forth.
I get that. I get you, I really do. In some
respects the stakes are higher for me because instead
of just going back to my parent’s home, I’ve decided
to try and make the UK my new home. So unless
I find a job, I’ll be legally forced to go back where I
came from (yes - I’m one of those filthy immigrants,
stealing all of the jobs).
But somehow I’m not sure this constant
barrage of negativity about our graduate lives is
doing us any good. For some, it makes them think “academia is safe, I might as well stay in it”. And that
may work for some, but it must surely have pushed
some young people into doing a postgraduate degree
that simply wasn’t meant for them; and as you all
well know, degrees cost a great deal of time and
money.
The ugh narrative makes people scared. And
scared people, especially young scared people, can
make their own lives harder. Sure, maybe young
people across the world who live with this negativity
hanging over them have an advantage in that
they are super-aware of the importance of being
proactive, getting applications in early, and sticking
to deadlines.
On the other hand, however, it makes some
people perform a little worse, because they’re not
allowing themselves to act naturally. Do yourselves
a favour and submit good applications, and do
good interviews and assessment centres that really
show yourselves off to the best of your ability. Be
confident. If this sounds patronising, then I’m not
necessarily addressing you. But I do feel that you
all owe yourself a shot at being judged for your own
qualities, and not for a case of bad nerves.
So perhaps the best way of avoiding this is to
start thinking of the situation with a bit more hope,
and anticipation. It is literally a case of looking at
the circumstances as though the glass was half full.
Think of how fun having money will be,
instead of leeching off either your parents or further
plunging yourselves into loosely-enforced debt. And
even if you don’t get a paid job at first, remember
that it’s all working towards something, a something
where you will eventually get rewarded.
That aside, think of your independence as
a young adult - freedom is scary, because most of
us have been sheltered by our circumstances until
now, whether that be parents, the compulsory
educational system, or otherwise. But plenty of
people forget that freedom is also exciting and
liberating (duh). Work hard, make firm decisions
about where you want your life to go and the people
you want to spend it with. Be brave, and stick with
things if you have even the smallest of good feelings
about it. Remember that progress is slow, and that
changes don’t just happen overnight.
This is sounding awfully like a very final
editor’s note, or a parental lecture, and that’s
because we’re near the end - this year’s Quench team
has almost finished their run. I won’t get soppy and
sad now - I’ll save that for the final issue. For now,
don’t worry about your future. Instead, give it the
anticipation it deserves, and plan it out with careful
consideration and a hell of a lot of excitement!
FE ATURES
EXILE FROM
NORTHERN
IRELAND
When I first sat down to write this piece, it was my intention to tell a
story of a man I had supposedly never met before and would probably
never meet again – and that just isn’t true. The man whose tale occupies
the following pages is my own father: he has lived through the Troubles
of Northern Ireland and come out the other side with countless stories
of pain, suffering, anger and hatred, and precious few tales of anything
else. Despite only being born during the closing chapters of the Troubles,
I still bore witness to the brutality that had marked the several previous
decades through my dad’s stories, and through the blood-soaked
bombings of Omagh, London and Manchester. Out of everything that
he has told me, the story that has remained with me most is that of his
exile. Like many others his age, my dad lived in constant fear of violence,
but to be forced out of your own home under threat of death illustrates
the incessant anger and hatred in which those decades were steeped. For
the majority of the readers of this magazine, conflict is a faraway, alien
concept; we see maimed soldiers and bombed cities solely through the
broadcasts of Eastern correspondents and journalists. Over the course of
myriad Skype conversations and written accounts, my father has shown
me that there was a time just beyond the grasp of recent memory, when
screens were filled with violence and struggle blisteringly close to home.
5
Despite the fact that the events detailed in this
piece occurred over a quarter of a century ago, I still
felt it necessary for my dad to take a pseudonym, and
for myself as an author to remain anonymous. A lot
of the people mentioned in this article (explicitly or
implicitly) are walking the same streets they did when
these events occurred, and equally as many would
do everything in their power to prevent an account
of their actions coming to light. I acknowledge that
Wales is relatively far from the old sectarian hotbeds
of Northern Ireland, and that the reach of a student
publication like this isn’t exactly global; but if details
of this story were to make it back home, it could put
my father, his business and potentially myself in
serious danger.
The man in question – known as Thomas for the
purposes of this article – has always been a prominent
figure in our small Northern Irish city. “I suppose I
was a bit of a Jack-the-Hat locally” he begins, “I was
a young, single, well-known local. Mothers tended
to lock up their daughters, if you get me.” While his
opinion of himself might seem biased, there is no
shortage of people young and old who would agree.
Physically speaking, Thomas is of a solid build, with a
strong head of hair (even at his age) and immaculate
dress sense. Alongside this, family friends of ours have
insisted that Thomas has had a firm grasp on selfconfidence for the majority of his adult life; his humour
is infectious and he’s an engaging conversationalist. As
you can imagine with his sort of character, he wanted
to make himself known from a young age. “With the
movement that was taking place further north, myself
and a few others – teachers and community activists
mainly – started a social justice movement to end
the discrimination and social inequality that many
Catholics were enduring at the time. The People’s
Democracy we were called”. He takes great pride in
those days, emphasising how they were mere amateurs
running on passion alone, campaigning and doing
door-to-door calls in their attempt to fight against the
sitting Catholic MP in Stormont, Michael Keogh. “He
was too comfortable, part of a ‘don’t-rock-the-boat’
party that only cared about re-election” he says.
Thomas was one of only two local students to be
involved at first, campaigning with peaceful protests
and organising marches, (“they were banned, but we
went ahead anyway” he said, grinning at his childhood
revolt) all while attending school. “I was getting myself
in trouble in school for acting out, I figured I may as
well put it towards something I was passionate about.”
A few years passed like this for Thomas, but in the
years following Bloody Sunday, things changed for the
worse.
Bloody Sunday (or the Bogside Massacre)
took place in Derry in 1972, a few years after the
Provisional Irish Republican Army (PIRA) began their
campaign in earnest. Bloody Sunday saw the massacre
of 26 unarmed civilians protesting against the mass
arrest and imprisonment-without-trial of people
believed to be involved in IRA activities. Immediately
afterwards, a meeting in the local Town Hall was called
to remove students from the movement, including
Thomas and those that had since joined. “We were
told that as students, we were ‘too young for all this’
and that really got to me.” By this stage Thomas had
already been galvanised by his time in politics, and
stood up to speak on behalf of the students, asserting
their right as the youth to be there. His speech was
met with roaring success and standing ovations, and
in the weeks following was quoted in the New York
Times. The students retained their place within the
movement.
After the events of 1972, the political landscape
of Northern Ireland took a marked shift towards the
6
HE WAS FREQUENTLY
TOLD TO STOP
SPEAKING OUT, BUT
HE CONTINUED WITH
GREATER FERVOUR
paramilitary, with “dark militant characters” emerging
and taking precedence within established, previously
peaceful political parties; the focus had shifted from
social justice to the militarised ideal of a United Ireland.
Despite being from a Catholic background, Thomas
was vigorously opposed to a ‘United Ireland’, realising
that as the owner of an established independent
business, the Republic was not capable of shouldering
the economic pressures of unification. “I knew that
Ireland was too poor to take on the North” he says,
“we wouldn’t have any social care, the economy would
suffer and I knew that shops like mine would be the
first to go. The European Economic Community was a
whisper on the wind, it did nothing for us”. He was
frequently told to stop speaking out, but just like in
school and the town hall, against his teachers and
those that attempted to exclude him, he continued
with greater fervour. By standing against the ideals
that the parties he had previously campaigned for
had now adopted, Thomas put himself directly in the
firing line of these dark, militant characters, and set in
motion a series of events that would soon spiral out
of control.
At this point I feel I need to state that my dad has
always been fairly open about his past. Good or bad,
any time I questioned him about a story I had heard
from a friend or friend’s parent, his replies were always
honest. One such story I heard was his fondness for
smoking “dope” as he called it. “I was always fond of a
wee smoke” he says, “but I can honestly say I haven’t
even tried anything else, and I can swear on that”. As
the son of strictly Catholic parents in a small Northern
Irish town, smoking cannabis alone in those days
would be enough to cause a stir. As is also the case with
a well-known individual any small town, “the rumour
mill” is always turning, and before long it turned on
my father.
One night Thomas was in a local pub - the name
of which long since changed - alongside his friends and
a girl he was seeing. As they sat there drinking and
chatting amongst themselves, someone passed a letter
over Thomas’ shoulder.
FE ATURES
As he pulled out the letter, Thomas realised it
was a list of six names – including his – with a bullet
sat heavily in the bottom of the envelope. A short
sentence sat atop the list, claiming that each person
named was dealing heroin, and as a result they had
24 hours to leave the country. Moderately drunk and
ignorant of the imminent threat, he laughed it off,
continuing with his night as if noting was amiss.
The following day it seemed everyone was
aware of the letter, and over the next few days various
stories emerged of those named. Two left town almost
straight away, leaving behind friends and family in
one fell swoop. One of the men moved immediately
into a part of town under paramilitary protection
where he knew he would be safe, while two who also
ignored the letter were dragged into the street and
pistol-whipped. It became apparent that Thomas was
the final unharmed name. Each day following these
events was more terrifying than the last for Thomas,
he describes to me how every time he opened the
front door of his shop a car would drive slowly past,
with all the occupants “staring out at me”. A soldier
was injured on duty and taken into care near where
Thomas lived. The screams of pain he could hear
from his house were intolerable, bringing Thomas to
breaking point. He had to get out.
My grandparents – Thomas’ parents – were
previous business-owners, and he pleaded with them
to look after the shop while he was gone. Despite
his pleas, he kept from them the real reason for his
departure for fear of upsetting them. Claiming he
simply needed a break from his business for a short
while, they agreed, and within a day he was gone.
During the previous summer, Thomas had been
seeing a girl – Svenja – whose parents lived in West
Berlin. She had planned to visit her parents around the
time he left home, and remembering this, he resolved
to stay with her until the threats made against his life
had passed. It wasn’t anything serious between the two,
he had been seeing “a few girls that summer”, he winks,
but she very quickly became his only form of escape.
At the time, West Berlin was an island of Allied control
surrounded by the Soviet power of East Germany,
meaning Thomas’ route to West Berlin was complicated
TWO MEN IGNORED
THE LETTER AND
WERE DRAGGED INTO
THE STREET AND
PISTOL-WHIPPED
fraught with worry. His first flight took him to London
at a cost of £200 (around £700 today), and from there
he caught a series of trains from Harwich to the Allied
city of Hamburg. Arriving in Hamburg, Thomas was
lost, alone and without a single word of German.
He remained alone and unmoving for over an hour,
before finally being approached by a stranger. He
knew one word, “Berlin”, to which the stranger replied
by pointing towards the city and saying “Flughaffen
Hamburg”. These words were a lifeline for Thomas, and
to this day he has resolved to never forget them.
With barely enough money left for his flight to
Berlin, he was left with no option but to watch for the
direction of incoming planes and follow them to the
airport. The walk from the railway station to Hamburg
airport is a long one, and for Thomas as he walked
completely alone and nearly penniless, it was made
even longer. Since that day Thomas has walked several
marathons through mountain ranges, and yet still he
calls that seven-mile walk the longest of his life.
When he finally arrived at Hamburg airport, the
last of his money was spent on a flight to Berlin, which
left that night. At the time, Berlin’s Templehof airport
was still operating, and when Thomas’ plane touched
down he described it as “like landing in the middle of
the street”. Svenja, the girl upon whom he was entirely
dependent, was to meet him at the airport, but when
he exited arrivals, she wasn’t there. Seven long hours
passed before she came to collect him, during which
Thomas (without any form of contact whatsoever)
had spent the entire time believing himself was
abandoned, having wasted all his money on a pipedream. After a seemingly eternal wait, she showed
up, picking Thomas up in her small car and taking him
into the heart of city. During the drive into the city,
Svenja abruptly informed him that their arrangement
they had made on the phone before Thomas’ departure
had changed; his place in the family home was no
longer available, and Thomas’ accommodation was
now with a ‘friend’ of Svenja’s in a squat. Completely
bereft of any other choice, Thomas moved in. Thomas
de.scribes his accommodation as “one of those prewar apartment blocks, freezing in the February cold”,
and the ‘friend’ of Svenja with whom he was sharing
was an LSD burnout named Ali*. Ali spoke no English
and Thomas no German, so each lived, ate and slept
in complete silence. Despite all that had happened,
Svenja attempted to maintain the romantic interest
between her and Thomas that had begun during the
summer, something which for Thomas had long since
fizzled and died. Thomas spent a few weeks wedged
between the uncomfortable advances of Svenja and
the muted existence of Ali, until a change in fortune
arrived in the form of Jurgen*. From his arrival until
this point, Thomas had been drowning in the silence
of Ali’s concrete-walled squat, and Jurgen – with
his conversational English and a small stall on the
Kurfürstendamm (or Ku’Damm) – gave Thomas a
chance at improvement, however meagre it may have
been. Selling Indian jewellery and commemorative
trinkets, Thomas finally found a way to make money
and improve his conditions marginally. It was a far cry
from his shop at home in Northern Ireland, but Thomas
put his sales experience to work, conversing fervently
with any English speaker that stopped by the stall, and
gesturing with mute enthusiasm to everyone else.
HE WAS
ABANDONED,
HAVING WASTED
ALL HIS MONEY ON A
PIPE-DREAM
7
Thomas’ situation had barely changed, but in
order to mitigate his crippling loneliness he began to
branch out. He tentatively ventured into local pubs and
bars in a desperate attempt to meet people and escape
the deafening silence of Ali. Weeks had passed, and yet
still Thomas was “entirely out of his depth”. He was
broke, alone and still extremely vulnerable to culture
shock. During one of his first ventures into Berlin’s
social scenes, Thomas entered a miniscule, decrepit
club, and within minutes of entering, he came across
a prostrate, unconscious American G.I, so consumed
by the heroin in his veins he was unable to remove the
needle hanging out of his arm. Thomas was a smalltown Northern Irish lad, he had never seen anything
or anyone like that G.I before. In Thomas’ time in
Germany, Allied Berlin served –amongst several other
tactical purposes – as a staging point for American
troops coming in and out of Vietnam. Oftentimes
the only English-speaking contact Thomas had was
with the American military. He was left reeling by the
destitution of the G.I, but before Thomas could come to
terms with what he had just seen, he realised that he
was surrounded completely by gay couples. My father
is by no means homophobic in any way, shape or form,
but coming from both a strictly Catholic family and a
small Northern Irish town, homosexuality did not exist
to him prior to this moment. On the verge of a complete
emotional breakdown he fled the club and wandered
the streets. After hours of walking in the freezing cold
with an empty stomach and an miserably inadequate
jacket, he was approached by what he affectionately
refers to as the “Hare Krishna mob”. A few members
approached him, and after some kind words fed him
and gave him a hot drink to warm up; it was his saving
grace that night, and remains as a kindness that he has
never forgotten.
Thomas’ only comfort after the days and days
spent in the jewellery stall the Ku’Damm was going
into the KaDeWe. Short for Kaufhaus des Westens,
KaDeWe was a department store housing, amongst
other things, a small record store. Thomas would
frequently wander in and guiltily listen to Helen Millar
records until they forced him to leave. Thomas lingered
as long as he could in that small music store, ekeing out
solace from the records until he felt strong enough to
continue. Months passed like this; full working days,
brief but incalculably valuable visits to the KaDeWe
and occasional, generally unsuccessful excursions to
pubs and clubs. After a while Thomas had saved up a
small amount of money, but before even considering
his return to what he had left behind, himself along
with a few people he had met over the months previous
decided to venture into East Berlin.
THEY COULD DO
NOTHING BUT
WATCH AS THEIR
DREAMS FADED
INTO THE WHITE
NOISE
8
EAST BERLIN
WAS LIKE A STRIP
HUGGING THE
WALL, THEN
NOTHING
Any attempt of mine to convey to you the poverty
that my father bore witness to in East Berlin would be
completely inadequate. When I asked my dad about it
during our conversations he would fall silent, and even
in our written contact I could tell his words were failing
him. The phrase he repeated to me the most was “East
Berlin was like a strip hugging the wall, then nothing”.
Like a rivulet in a desert, vestiges of life clung to the
Berlin Wall, hoping to absorb some of the vitality and
joy that thrived on the other side, but without success.
Aside from a lone shop front containing a handful of
rubber ants in the window, each shop that Thomas
passed was entirely barren. The only businesses with
anything to offer were the bookshops, with shelf after
shelf full of nothing but sickly, garish propaganda. As
a gift to those he had arranged to stay with, Thomas
had worn three pairs of Levi’s jeans across the border;
they were well-worn and fraying, but regardless of their
state, their value - he was told - was enormous. The
family he was to be staying with greeted him warmly
and ushered him into the house. His offer of jeans was
welcomed gratefully, and the entire house set about
washing, scrubbing and trimming to bring them back
to a semblance of their former glory. That evening after
dinner Thomas, a fellow visitor able to translate, and
one of the sons – Sepp – were sat in the living room:
Thomas was simply grateful for a comfortable chair to
sit on, while Sepp was immersed entirely in trimming
stray threads from the gifted jeans. Their conversation
was stilted, any attempt at fluid conversation was
thwarted by a lack of common language. They
persevered with their conversation and amongst the
stutters and misunderstood humour, Sepp mentioned
his excitement in receiving a new car. In an attempt to
learn more about Sepp, Thomas asked him when he
was going to collect it. Sepp laughed; he had ‘ordered’
the car two years ago at 19, and his excitement was
because he had a mere four more years to wait before
he received it. The joy that he could read on Sepp’s
face was evident, and yet the reason to be joyful was
surrounded on all sides by such abject poverty it was
rendered almost inconceivable to Thomas.
Over the following days as Thomas travelled
around East Berlin, he came to realise this side of the
divided city represented a poverty that he had never
seen before. He had come across poor communities in
Northern Ireland many times, but this side of Berlin
was left in want of so much; it was impoverished in
hope and in happiness, bereft of even a possibility of
escape. Despite the circumstances surrounding his
exile, Thomas realised that he was lucky in being able
to escape at all. If and when he chose to return, he had
a business waiting for him. He had the chance to start
again, to build himself up and return to normal. The
people of East Berlin had their families and nothing
else.
On his last night East of the wall, Thomas was
sitting with the other visitors, his host family and
Sepp watching television, or at least their version of it.
Crowding around a small screen and peering through a
blizzard of interference, they would occasionally catch
glimpses of Western programmes; “dream television is
what they called it” he told me. All of the family’s dreams
were contained within that tiny box. Their aspirations,
hopes and all they had ever wished for were there on
that screen, obscured by white noise, barely visible, and
entirely out of reach. They could do nothing but watch
as their dreams faded into the distance, vainly hoping
they would return before resignedly turning off the
television set for the night.
The next day brought with it their time to leave;
Thomas and his companions bid farewell to their host
family and set about heading back home. From his time
in the Ku’damm, Thomas had saved up enough money
for his journey back, and within a handful of days
he began his journey. Despite his absence of several
months, Thomas heard from his friends that it was still
not safe for his return back to our town in Northern
Ireland. Through several friends he knew living in
the Republic of Ireland, he acquired a job working in
a large Department store, and remained there for the
next three years. After spending nearly 5 years in total
away from home and his business, a local political party
member informed Thomas he finally had the “go-ahead”
to come home. This man, who will remain unnamed
and unaffiliated in this article, is now the head of a very
large charity, backed by members extremely high up in
British society.
Despite all that he has endured, and despite
animosity from both sides of the British-Irish conflict,
Thomas still proudly displays Irish text above his shop
door. “And I always will” he tells me, “some people like
it, and some people don’t. I’ve changed so much in the
past out of fear and out of anger, but now I’m done. I’m
done changing.”
He never found out who wrote that letter, and he
never saw it again.
FE ATURES
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For as long as humans have known about nitrous oxide,
they’ve used it as a recreational drug. Discovered in the late
18th century by Sir Joseph Priestley, the chemist Humphrey
Davy attempted to commercialise it a few years later. Using
a machine specifically developed by his friends Thomas
Beddoes and James Watt, Davy piped the gas into airtight
silk bags and held extravagant parties for the British upper
classes, who needed a break from spitting on the poor and
fucking their siblings. Needless to say, these parties proved
to be enormously popular. Davy had popularised nitrous
oxide to the point that it was no longer called nitrous oxide
amongst its aficionados; like any good drug it had a load of
different names. And although terms like “factitious airs”
and “phlogisticated nitrous air” were both used at the time,
history thankfully decided on a simpler name: laughing gas.
Today, nitrous oxide is found all over the place. It’s
mainly used in hospitals as an anaesthetic, but you’ll also find
it in mechanical parts for cars and rockets. And, curiously
enough, you’ll also find it in food. Specifically, in whipped
cream. Placed inside cans of whipped cream because of how
soluble it is in fatty compounds, when the solution is exposed
to air, the gas expands and creates that beautiful foamy
goodness. Because of this, catering wholesalers will now sell
tiny metal cylinders (known as chargers) to anyone willing to
buy them by the thousand. Which happens to be an attractive
proposition to two groups of people in particular: Michelinstarred chefs, and laughing gas dealers.
Once upon a time, laughing gas was only popular
amongst Britain’s stranger subcultures, but now it’s coming
back into fashion. Part of the reason is the ascent of house
music into the mainstream, as the drug has a strong
association with the scene. There’s also the fact that it’s
relatively low-risk, providing a quick, cheap, easy high in
contrast to the some of the more hardcore Class As available.
But perhaps most importantly, laughing gas is more accessible
now than ever before. This is because there’s now an entire
YOU WHIPPED CREAM
industry built around delivering laughing gas right to people’s
doorstep, 24/7. And it’s all entirely legal.
Well, sort of. The legality of laughing gas isn’t totally
black and white. Possessing it, and more importantly
consuming it, are both okay in the eyes of the law. But the
debate is mostly focused around how laughing gas is sold.
Because nitrous oxide is used in hospitals as an anaesthetic,
it falls under the Human Medicines Regulations Act, meaning
dealers can’t sell it with any medical connotations attached.
However, if it’s sold as a foodstuff, it’s fine. This is why
laughing gas businesses can operate relatively openly under
the guise of ‘catering suppliers’, because they don’t sell you
nitrous oxide canisters, they sell you whipped cream chargers.
You might think it’s an issue of semantics, and you’d be right,
but legality often depends on such little things. Ultimately,
the police have very few legal grounds to prosecute laughing
gas traders, and everyone knows it. the police have very few
legal grounds to prosecute laughing gas traders, and everyone
knows it.
“They can’t do anything,” says T*, a Cardiff dealer
who’s agreed to meet me and discuss the industry. It’s no
exaggeration to say that there is a laughing gas industry, a fact
that’s very clear within minutes of meeting T. In the doorway
of his house, giant cardboard boxes are stacked on top of
one another in the hallway, all full with smaller boxes each
containing 24 chargers of pure nitrous oxide. We start talking,
and T is quick to establish the legality of his business, telling
me, “If someone calls me and asks for balloons, or repeatedly
asks for laughing gas, I can’t sell it to them,” although he’s
fully aware that the overwhelming majority of his customers
aren’t calling him at 4am because they’ve got a cake that needs
decorating. We carry on, but we’re soon interrupted by T’s
phone. It’s a customer. T says he’ll be there in half an hour,
and invites me along for the drive. Driving through Cathays,
he details plans for getting his company logo adorned on the
side of his car, and starts complaining about his web designers.
“[They] made me the logo, but they turned out to be massive
9
dickheads,” he sighs, as we pull up outside an apartment
block in the city centre. T is on time, but there’s no sign of
the customer. “This guy’s such a longhead,” he mutters, before
putting his car into neutral and turning the engine off. The
whole thing is totally bizarre. A dealer turning up on time
is rare, but sticking around for a late customer is totally
unheard of. Eventually, a man approaches the car, gives T a
tenner for a box of 24, and walks back inside. No tension, no
counting money, no checking of weights, nothing. The whole
thing seems less like a drug deal than it does a pizza delivery.
Appropriate perhaps, for a catering supplier.
Every aspect of T’s operation adheres to basic business
principles, and it shows. Drug dealers don’t have websites.
Drug dealers don’t advertise. Drug dealers don’t turn up early,
and they definitely don’t wait around for customers who
take forever to show up. Laughing gas is well and truly being
commodified, though it’s not exactly easy to get a business
started. After telling me that it cost around £2000 to get
everything off the ground, T explains, “It’s really difficult
to buy cream chargers from wholesalers. Literally they’re
impossible to find. The only way I got hold of mine was through
a number I found, and I had to ring them and ask if I could buy
some for wholesale, and they weren’t very helpful about it.
They were like, “visit our affiliate website” and I had to ring
them and ask them for their supplier’s number. It was quite
“A DEALER TURNING UP
ON TIME IS RARE, BUT
STICKING AROUND FOR
A LATE CUSTOMER IS
TOTALLY UNHEARD OF”
difficult really.”T went on to explain that just like every other
tradable commodity, the source, and more importantly the
brand, matters. “It’s all from the UK, either Liss or Mr. Whip.
Or Erotica Cream, which is the same thing but the box has
pictures of naked girls on. There’s also Best Whip, but that’s
the inferior stuff. Mr Whip’s just the thing that people hit, it’s
more of a younger person’s brand. Liss is more for caterers.
Mr. Whip is owned by the same people as Liss, and it’s made
by the same people as Liss. It’s just packaged differently, it’s
exactly the same on the inside.”
Needless to say, where there’s business, there’s
competition. And when you’re dealing in a high stakes
product like drugs, you’re likely to run the risk of violence.
But there’s not even a hint of violence between laughing gas
traders, instead it appears sellers are often willing to work
with one another. T says, “In Cardiff, there’s Anytime Cream
and there’s someone called Got Cream. Got Cream don’t really
have any online presence, and Anytime Cream have got a bit
of a bad reputation. Most of my customers are old Anytime
Cream customers. The Anytime Cream guys are sound though,
when I run out, I’ll sometimes order it off them and they’ll
give me a discount.”
Upon closer inspection, the laughing gas industry
starts to look more and more like any other. Brands matter.
Service matters. Advertising matters. The former subculture
staple is now just another cog in the capitalist machine. The
majority of the businesses themselves are even registered
for tax, because it’s difficult for them to secure a wholesaler
if they’re not. All this raises the question: if laughing gas is
mostly legitimate, why do so many people want to get rid of
it?
In recent years, police and local government have
attempted to crack down on the industry (South Wales Police
declined to provide any comment for this article). Last year
10
in August, the Local Government Association (LGA) issued
a health warning about the dangers associated with the gas.
The chairwoman of the LGA’s community wellbeing board,
Councillor Katie Hall said at the time, “It is deeply disturbing
that this drug, which can be highly dangerous, is still widely
viewed as safe. It is imperative that users understand just how
harmful it can be. This gas can kill - and much more needs
to be done to get this message across.” The Home Office also
released a guidance report in 2013 that advised local councils
to use legislation that makes trading in certain streets or areas
illegal, which would target laughing gas sellers who trade on
market stalls. This has proved to be a brief deterrent in some
areas of the UK where such stalls were once popular. But
instead of pushing laughing gas off the streets entirely, it’s
just pushed it online, and inadvertently right onto people’s
doorsteps.
Much of the battle for local councillors and police forces
is convincing people that laughing gas is dangerous. And there
are cases where laughing gas, when used excessively, has killed
people. But in comparison to other drugs, the likelihood of
death is incredibly low. Official figures blamed laughing gas
for 17 deaths between 2006 and 2012, averaging out at
fewer than three deaths per year. In comparison, about three
people every year die from being struck by lightning in the UK
(according to the Tornado and Storm Research Organisation).
It’s important to maintain a sense of perspective when
reporting on laughing gas, which is where many feel that local
government, the police, and the sensationalist media, are
losing their credibility.
It’s important to note this, because laughing gas can
be dangerous. The author Ben Goldacre, who has risen to
prominence by denouncing poor science reporting, noted in
a 2007 blog post, “…to be effective and persuade people to
change their behaviour in public health policy, it is generally
considered that your message must be credible, and perceived
by the recipient as applicable to their circumstances.” Which
all sounds very reasonable. The problem is, Goldacre says,
that laughing gas users are ignoring public health warnings
because of the way the drug is being misrepresented in the
“THE FORMER
SUBCULTURE STAPLE IS
NOW JUST ANOTHER
COG IN THE CAPITALIST
MACHINE”
The main risk of the drug is that long-term use can lead
to a vitamin B12 deficiency. Which doesn’t sound majorly
important, until you consider that without vitamin B12,
you’ll struggle to make new cells. Which you need to, er…
survive. Vitamin B12 deficiency is largely treatable, but it’s
still a fairly unpleasant thing to have to deal with. The thing
is, if local authorities presented vitamin B12 deficiency as the
worst thing that can happen to a regular laughing gas user,
the impact would be minimal because frankly, people don’t
give a shit about stuff like that. This is how we’ve ended up
trapped in the familiar cycle of moral panic and government
misinformation that so often surrounds any drug-related
issue.
The debates surrounding the laughing gas industry are
representative of the UK’s problem with drugs, a problem
that stems from a failing drug policy and the way drugs and
their various addicts are represented in the media. We need
evidence, education and reasoned discussion, but we’re given
doubt merchants, misinformation and hysteria. All of which
puts the laughing gas industry in a strange position. Right
now it exists in legal limbo, and along with a large market to
satisfy, it also has many opponents who would like nothing
more than to see it properly criminalized. But instead of
criminalising it, what if the government were to regulate it
and tax it like any other commodity, and operate the scheme
as a trial for future legalisation of other drugs? It’s been
established that while laughing gas is not without it’s dangers,
you’ll struggle to find a drug in such high demand and with a
relatively low risk factor, which makes it perfect for such an
experiment. It’s unlikely that the current government (or any
future one, for that matter) would go in for this though, which
is a shame. Until then, we’ll just have to grin and bear it.
*real name withheld.
Illustration by Emma Pethybridge
media and by government bodies. Instead of presenting a
credible message, they’re doing the exact opposite.
It really comes down to finding out how harmful
laughing gas actually is. You’re already aware that it’s
unlikely to kill you, but there are other effects that are often
misreported. The rush that nitrous oxide gives you is often
attributed to the ‘fact’ that it starves the brain of oxygen, but
this is untrue. The truth is that the full effects of nitrous oxide
on the body aren’t fully understood by scientists yet, but the
majority of evidence points to the way that the drug interacts
with the NDMA receptor in the brain in a similar way to
ketamine, which is why they’re both used as anaesthetics. If
nitrous oxide truly starved the brain of oxygen, why would it
be administered to women in labour?
COLUMNIST
Club Life: It’s just not
worth living anymore
THE SKETCH with
GARETH EVANS
It’s hard to believe that, at one point,
clubbing formed the basis of a subculture. An
underground activity adopted by a new wave
of youth, it spawned from the underground
rave parties of the late eighties until it
boomed into a trippy, sweaty, monster with
neon fangs.
But now the fangs are blunt and the
monster has retired. He’s probably living,
like most of the peak-ravers of the nineties,
in a modest home funded by a mid-level job
in HR. Clubbing is no longer the alternative,
distinct, branch of youth culture that it
once was. No, now it’s a commercialised
chain made up of homogenous cesspits –
vying with each other for your student loan,
heckling you in the street with shit flyers.
Knowing that I would be writing this,
I asked two of these street hecklers, with
their club brand hoodies and MTV haircuts,
why I should go to their particular club night.
I was wrong to expect a sales pitch or even
something literate; “It’s a massive one mate”
– was the reply. “Get your mates along” the
other one said, with what I can only assume
was sarcasm.
I responded with “okay” because I’m
a coward and dumped the flyers in the bin
“It’s impossible to
imagine that the Ken
doll in a leopard
print vest has a day
job. What could he
possibly do?”
because I’m venomous. And as I continued to
walk alongside the row of clubs on Greyfriars
Road, I considered the lowly state that the
student social scene had hit. Apparently this
was the best that we could do; even worse,
these clubs are really quite popular. So much
so that people queue for hours on this very
pavement, in Welsh weather, so that they
can get inside. I’ve done it myself, never for
hours, but I’ve queued in the rain to get into
clubs where the floor is somehow wetter than
it is outside.
And I’ve had good nights, don’t get me
wrong. This isn’t the half-hearted polemical
rant of a club reject, no; this is the halfhearted polemical rant of a guy who usually
wishes he was rejected. At least then I could
go home, get into bed, forget about the evils
of the world and watch something inane.
These clubs play host to many of these exact
evils. Is that hyperbole? Well yes, but they
are dark places literally, figuratively, even
morally.
I admit that all sounds like a
MailOnline comment. But if you really
think about some of these places then it’s
difficult to see how they are even in business.
I mean, from the exterior, Glam looks like
an unlicensed tanning salon. The ironically
named Walkabout is a densely packed
hormone coliseum, and Retros feels like the
result of a school disco that the teacher’s
forgotten to end.
But in reality this doesn’t matter
because everyone in there will be obviously,
hellishly, smashed. This says a lot though,
because most of us wouldn’t even consider
going to a club sober. If you’ve done it then
you end up feeling dirty, awkward and alone;
like the Louis Theroux in the evangelical
“When fun comes
from gurning at a
strobe light after
ingesting a pill
made by trafficked
Europeans, that’s
when I have to look
elsewhere for it”
room. You begin to notice that the walls
have a consistency, the floor is gelatinous,
the music is painful and the drinks taste and
look like what you would expect to urinate in
the morning. I apologise if that is repulsive,
but then again, how else can you convey the
slimy innards of British nightlife?
I can’t think of anywhere else that I
would physically require full inebriation to go
to. I don’t know what kind of Godless hole that
would be. This in itself is a sign that, maybe,
it’s time I started to look elsewhere. If you
need to numb your senses, your perceptions,
and hack away at your inhibitions to avoid
gagging at your surroundings then surely
that says something? Or maybe I’m just old
before my time. Okay, I am old before my
time.
I know this because a few weeks ago I
went to Sheffield’s SU on a night out and was
reminded that there really is a generational
gap between the university years. It’s hard
to pinpoint exactly what it was, maybe it
was the music, or the drinking games, or
the fashion, but it became clear to me that
at the age of twenty-one my time had been
and gone. 2012 seemed distant, because back
then this would have been a full on riot. Now
I just felt too self-aware and oddly separated
from the whole experience. Some might say I
hadn’t drunk enough but believe me I tried.
Oh how I tried.
Plenty of people would solve that
feeling with drugs and they are welcome to
do that. I happen to think that they should be
legalised and regulated for reasons of safety,
finances, and so on. But when fun comes
from gurning at a strobe light after ingesting
a pill made by trafficked Europeans then
that’s when I have to look elsewhere for it.
There’s a reason why people take MDMA to
enhance the likes of clubs and dance music;
it’s because they’re terrible to begin with.
As are most club regulars. To be clear,
it’s primarily the men. In a previous column
for this magazine I wrote about the crisis of
the modern man and their (our?) struggle
to find a new form of masculinity in an era
of metrosexual grooming and increasingly
vocal feminists. If ever I needed to conduct
a sociological experiment on the topic then
nightclubs would be the perfect place to
find a sample. There are those people, you
know the type, who only seem to exist in a
club environment. It’s impossible to imagine
that the Ken doll in a leopard print vest has
a day job. What could he possibly do? They
don’t look like real human beings, more like
holograms intertwined with the lighting
in order to create the illusion of popular
demand. Until, that is, I see them handing
out leaflets on Greyfriars Road. Ah, of course,
those guys again. That is their day job.
Amongst their tattoo sleeves I wouldn’t be
surprised to see an ouroboros because these
people lead bizarre, cyclical, club based lives
that might as well never end.
But mine has. I think I’ve decided to
call it a day. The truth is I’m not really cut out
for it. I gave it a go, but like karate and piano
I’m going to file clubbing under ‘things I tried
to do to appear cooler than I really am’.
There’s barely room left in that cabinet.
Illustrations: Naomi Brown
11
Comedian Steve Punt paid Cardiff University a visit, and Dan Heard went to speak
to him. What ensues is some golden advice for other comedians, his childhood
influences, and the controversial line comedy often flirts with
Steve Punt is most commonly (and somewhat
begrudgingly) known for his partnership with
comedian Hugh Dennis. They starred together in
the immensely popular The Imaginatively Titled Punt
& Dennis Show, and BBC Radio 4’s weekly satirical
comedy review The Now Show. In his time, Punt has
written for Mock the Week and Would I Lie to You?,
amongst several other successful shows. As well as
being a writer, Steve is also the presenter of Radio
4’s University-based quiz show The 3rd Degree,
where students and lecturers - who are known as
‘The Dons’ are pitted against each other in a battle
of wits. A new edition of the show was recently
recorded in the Birt Acres Lecture Theatre right
here at Cardiff University on the 20th February.
Luckily, I managed to grab a short, yet informative
few minutes to chat to him before he wolfed down
some cold M&S sandwiches and boarded the train
back to London.
Before the recording I had quickly Googled
his name, looking for a face to put to the voice
I had heard many times on the radio. Images of a
rather plain looking man, in a suit, a (normally
loud) shirt, staring intently back into the camera
were the first ones I saw. Having met writers and
comedians before, I expected what I saw online to
translate fairly accurately into reality. Steve Coogan
was as sharp as the cut of his expensive jacket when
rambling on about Alan Partridge for an hour and
a half. Lee Mack was loud, admittedly, but in a way
typical of his comic persona- the fact that he IS a
loud Northerner and David Mitchell was David
12
Mitchell- what you saw was what you got. Therefore,
I expected as much with Mr Punt.
Boy, was I wrong.
The door of the so called ‘green room’ (Room
0.54 in Bute - a computer room, albeit one now full of
coffee and Welsh cakes) swung open, and in walked
Doc Brown’s long lost son. Steve Punt was clad in
an enormous turquoise puffer jacket and his face, so
“In my experience,
it is good to be
taken out of your
comfort zone
sometimes.”
stern and serious in the publicity shot for the show,
was almost hidden by a thick five o’clock shadow, on
the verge of becoming a full blown beard. His hair
made him resemble the famous picture of Einstein,
minus the tongue sticking out. Once the coat was
off, underneath was an equally crumpled jumperand-shirt combination, in the same bluish-green
hue, which was pretty off-putting to say the least.
As he shuffled towards me, his brown boots
stained with rain and caked in mud, he extended
his hand. I shook it, and we sat down. Then came
another unexpected twist. He may well be one of the
sharpest men I have met. He was quick and focused
while recording, but he is still a comedian at heart,
so his jokes to the audience (and to us on the panel)
were concise and clever. Understatedly funny. Here,
he was being undoubtedly smart. As he relaxed into
his chair, he casually picked up a Welsh cake from the
platter in front of him, and took a bite. “So, Mr Punt,
just how hard is it to write comedy?” He stopped
munching. He sat up. And he focused his attention
on me. And so began an outpouring of insight that
any upcoming comic would gladly kill for.
To Punt, comedy is much less difficult when
you know what to write about. There are two ways
of approaching this, he says - either news based
content or ‘pure’ comedy. In terms of topical stuff,
the stuff that is thrown up by the news almost every
day, there is no problem on what or of what to write
about. “In my experience, it is good to be taken out
of your comfort zone sometimes. If you are given
just a blank sheet of paper, then you tend to default
to what you would call your ‘pet subjects’ - the
things you are most comfortable talking about, what
you know best, and that can be good sometimes,
but when a new show or a new sketch needs to be
written, then it can be tricky.
“This could, though, also act as a way to
expand your range of jokes. Around a writers’ table,
there isn’t just a bunch of comics sitting around,
clutching at that day’s newspapers and unstably
drinking gallons of coffee. There are guys who have
that life experience, that thing that they can draw
CULTURE
inspiration from - but also that nous for knowing what the
audience want to hear.” This is a given exercise of what to
write about. He feels that the more your thoughts are, in
essence, narrowed down in terms of what you write, then
often, the better it is. With these pre-designated topics and
places, you have things you can use and things to work on,
at least. There are human interest pieces you read, from
which you find specifics. You need something to hang a
story on - and in comedy, it is better to find something
specific. The last bit of cake disappears into his mouth. A
pause for breath (something of a rarity), and then he’s off
again.
“I write for Horrible Histories, and you can’t change
history! That is something unquestionable, something
fundamental. You have to work within it. It can at times
be restrictive. But the thing is, you can also be inspired by
something new- something topical, something perhaps
relevant to what is popular culture today. You are more
often inspired by something new”.
So, I ask, if Horrible Histories is something both kids
and adults can enjoy, what was it that you enjoyed watching
as a kid? Who were your comedy heroes? Undoubtedly, the
Pythons are up there. Punt played Eric Idle in Holy Flying
Circus, a surreal dramatization of the making of The Life
of Brian. “I became aware of them through the films, and
through their comedy albums - much the same with the
Derek and Clive stuff that Peter Cook and Dudley Moore
used to do. Albums had this kind of culty quality - they
could be pretty damn rude! For me, the more culty they are,
the better.”
He cites the Airplane films and Wayne’s World as
hugely influential: “I can watch these with my kids, or I
did when they were kids, and they can find it as funny as
when I first saw it in the cinema years ago. I actually went
back and watched it again, because I had missed bits of it
laughing at the previous joke! It’s the same with Wayne’s
World. I saw that in 1992, and you could see the almost
quintessential Britishness in Mike Myers performance- and
it was hilarious!”
Woody Allen is another hero of his, after he first saw
Annie Hall in his early teens. “The lines and the scenes, ‘A
spider as big as a Buick’ - they were just great! So to go to
that, having been brought up on the likes of Morecambe
and Wise and The Two Ronnies - I mean, I liked them, but I
was always aware that this was the humour of my parents.
My dad loved Round the Horn and The Goon Show, and had
all of Spike Milligan’s War Diaries - and I became aware of
them through him. For me, TV wise, there was a turning
point when Not the Nine O’clock News and The Young Ones
arrived - here was more my kind of comedy language.
“You had Rik, this embodiment of student life in the
eighties or whenever it was, speaking with this middle class
accent, and saying things that you, well you couldn’t say on
TV today- things like ‘mental’. “You’re mental Vivian!” that
kind of thing. You just couldn’t say that today. And then
there were Kubrick films, I actually saw Dr Strangelove in
my school cinema club, as ridiculous as that sounds! It was
good to see films that at the time you didn’t necessarily
understand all of. You wanted to, that was the thing”, it
was, as he so eloquently puts it, grown-up comedy.
At this point, the director of the show appears,
tapping his watch. The universal language for ‘get a move
on’, so I do. “One last question then, Mr Punt”, I begin.
“There is a fine line between comedy and controversy, and
it has been courted more often than not by comedians like
Frankie Boyle and Jimmy Carr. Is there a fine line which
shouldn’t be crossed?” I’m proud of this one.
To him, with a controversial joke, normally, you know
if it is justified or not. He believes that the press seem to
be always looking to be offended. He used the uproar
around the joke Jimmy Carr made about soldiers’ (Carr
got in trouble for joking that injuries sustained by service
personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan would create a great GB
Paralympics team) as an example. “Other comedy writers
recognized on the spot where he was coming from- and just
how spot on he was. I mean, you have the best, the fittest
men being sent out to war and coming back wounded like
that - why not satirize it? It makes more of a point, more
of an impact if you joke about it than saying how awful it
is - because it is awful.”
Comedians need to be guided by instinct. If offense is
a by-product of a joke, then it is a side battle. Today, there
is this big generational divide on what is considered funny,
and what is considered ‘taboo’ - which would be different
to what was controversial 30- 40 years ago. Taboo subjects
have seemingly become the norm - nudity and graphic stuff
is the burning issue today, whereas several years back, it was
bad language - something you see on TV nearly every day,
especially in comedy. “Taboo things have been de-stressed
almost due to things being said ironically.” he says, wearily
almost. “Too much time is spent on these kinds of jokes.”
Any closing remarks? (Not that he hasn’t spoken for
Britain already). For the first time, he stops, and thinks. The
levees of his mind are put back in place, but not before his
last musing. “If it feels like hard work, then it probably isn’t
funny.” The sandwiches have arrived, and it’s time to go.
13
The Twits by Roald Dahl
From Muggle-Wump the Monkey to The Roly-Poly
Bird, Dahl’s trademark style is evident upon
the pages of my favourite childhood book, The
Twits. The story follows the unpleasant couple
Mr and Mrs Twit and their profound hatred for
each other, demonstrated by a number of absurd
practical jokes including putting a frog in Mrs
Twit’s bed and worms in Mr Twit’s spaghetti.
Despite the apparent silliness, a long-lasting
moral message has been incorporated into the
story. Mrs Twit had turned hideous with age due
to her thoughts becoming nastier, and Roald
Dahl explained this by expressing that “a person
who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You
can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and
a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have
good thoughts it will shine out of your face like
sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” This
was a theory which as a young child and still to
this very day, I wholeheartedly believed in, as I
never wanted to look like Mrs Twit! The story,
which although is at points ludicrous, is indeed
heart-warming. With the addition of Quentin
Blake’s illustrations, both author and illustrator
allowed me to be transported to their world of
imagination. As a child, I would fall fast asleep at
“As a child, I would fall fast asleep at night
to the audiobook, dreaming of how I could
save the birds which Mr Twit glued to the
tree and letting my imagination run wild.”
night to the audiobook, dreaming of how I could
save the birds which Mr Twit glued to the tree
and letting my imagination run wild. I would
certainly recommend any of Roald Dahl’s books
to children as they all include his underlying
comical tone and unique plots. Despite this, The
Twits will always be my favourite.
— Alice Dent
The Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton
Like many five-year-olds, I lived almost
constantly in my own world of daydreams;
whenever my parents saw me wandering around
the garden chatting to myself, they would accept
I was simply in what they called “Amy World”
again. Sometimes I was a zookeeper, sometimes
an Olympic athlete, but my favourite fantasy was
as a character in The Faraway Tree. A series of
four books telling the adventures of Joe, Bessie
and Fanny after discovering a magical tree, The
Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton fascinated me from
the moment my parents started reading them
to me. The tree was inhabited by a mixture of
magical folk and upon each visit, a different land
would appear at the summit, either horrible like
“The Land of Tempers”, or every kid’s dream,
“The Land of Goodies”. I was obsessed with the
idea of escaping to exciting new worlds and the
magic and mystery of the whole book consumed
my imagination. I always judge either film or
novel by how much it plays on my mind the
following weeks, and even at the age of 18 this
series still fascinates me. With an oak tree at
the bottom of my own garden, I believed I was
just like the three children who discovered their
‘Faraway Tree’ and would spend hours hoping
that my favourite character, Moonface, would
pop out and invite me for dinner in his wooden
abode. That of course, never happened, but I
spent hours daydreaming about the endless
possibilities of a real enchanted ‘Faraway Tree’
of my own.
— Amy Butler
Eat Your Peas by Kes Grey and Nick Sharett
Eat Your Peas holds the moral that we should
all accept individual tastes when it comes to
food, whilst comically challenging one adult’s
authority over the struggle that is dinner time.
As stubborn little Daisy refuses to eat the last
component on her plate, the dreaded greens, her
mother begins to bribe her with a list of not only
materialistic items but the prospect of complete
freedom. The illustrations of the bribes quickly
multiply onto the page as the rewards increase,
making it visually exciting for the reader,
especially for a child. Ultimately the image of
Daisy gradually enlarges too as she gains more
control than her mother. The story sees a playful
end with Daisy challenging her mother to eat
her remaining brussel sprouts. Impressed by her
wit, the greens are ditched all together and Daisy
is allowed to skip to dessert.
This book was bought for me at the
age of four, much to my excitement that the
protagonist’s name matched mine. Ironically I
was - and still am - a fan of peas (but with an
overruling sweet tooth!) leading me to wonder
why on earth Daisy would not give in to the
bribes! I loved to dramatically act out the role
of Daisy whilst my mother played the role of
Daisy’s mum; clearly thankful that I wasn’t as
stubborn when it came to food. The fact that
this book is so interactive and visually pleasing
with the brightly coloured pictures meant that
it was read on every possible occasion, with the
added bonus that it was a favourite amongst my
parents. Revisiting it today reaffirms that Eat
Your Peas is a book not only enjoyed by young
children but adults alike with its hilarious role
reversal and eventual naughty twist.
— Daisy Lane-Murly
During the month of March, Cardiff
celebrates its third iteration of the Cardiff
Children’s Literature Festival. To accompany
this festival Quench Culture have brought
all their old literary favourites out of the
cupboard to enjoy once more.
14
CULTURE
“There are stomach-lurching plot twists
and punches to the face. But the sense of
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony
Snicket
“It was darker than a pitch-black panther,
covered in tar, eating black liquorice at the very
bottom of the deepest part of the Black Sea.”
Rich in foreboding prose, Snicket’s saga of
three orphans navigating their way through in a
cruel world is a worthy bed-side companion for
stormy nights spent cowering under the duvet
wanting your mummy. Covering a wide range of
Unfortunate Events bestowed upon its young
protagonists, including ‘an encounter with a
greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a
disastrous fire and cold porridge for breakfast’,
it’s a deliciously macabre and rather groundbreaking series, especially when presented
alongside the usual saccharine slop marketed at
seven year-olds.
Snicket raised a generation of cynical,
inquisitive kids who knew that the world could
be rotten and embraced it anyway. There are
guts and gore. There are stomach-lurching plot
twists and punches to the face. But the sense
of childlike wonder remains firmly intact. The
series is proof that children deserve emotive,
enthralling literature of their own; the kind that
creeps up on you in the night and holds you to
ransom until you finish the final page. It’s also
proof that the best novels are often the most
challenging. The vocabulary used throughout is
designed to stretch little minds, with Snicket
explaining grandiose words and deconstructing
language rules in a way that feels charmingly
unpretentious. He explained to a generation the
difference between ‘literally’ and ‘figuratively’,
and for that alone we should be eternally grateful
(like, literally forever in his debt). A gothic classic
that will pitch a tent in your blackened heart and
refuse to leave.
— Aime-lee Abraham
Greedy Zebra, by Mwenye Hadithi (author)
and Adrienne Kennaway (illustrator)
An African folk story featuring charismatic
animals, Greedy Zebra was a delightful book that
for me, highlighted the importance and joy of
individuality, not to mention the amazing variety
of animals present in the natural world. The tale
follows Greedy Zebra, who can’t resist eating
and eating, even when it is to his disadvantage.
During the tale, a cave of bright and beautiful
treasures is discovered by the animals of the
plain and the jungle. Before discovering the
treasures, the animals are portrayed as drab,
boring creatures which is juxtaposed when they
adorn themselves with spots, stripes, furs, horns
and hooves of all kinds in order to be different.
Greedy Zebra also makes his way to the trove,
on the way admiring the fine choices and
appearances of the other animals and of course,
taking every opportunity to grab a snack when
it presents itself. By the time he reaches the
cave, there is nothing left for him except plain,
black cloth that is too tight for his wide girth and
ends up splitting, giving him his characteristic
stripes. A fun story with gentle messages of
self-acceptance, avoiding overindulgence, the
inspiring artwork and simplicity of Greedy Zebra
impressed itself upon me as a child and still
remained for many years after. Not to mention
the idea of antelopes, rhinos and lions sewing
together their own distinctive hides was a
brilliant image that sparked an early interest in
all things crafty!
— Kalika Puri
Teeny-Tiny and the Witch-Woman, by
Barbara K. Walker (author), Michael
Foreman (illustrator)
Based on a Turkish folk story, Teeny-Tiny is a
rather sinister tale about the adventures of three
siblings, descriptively named Big One’, In-TheMiddle and Teeny-Tiny, who each ignore their
mother and grandmother’s warnings and sneak
off into the forest. It is there they encounter a
scary Baba Yaga style figure, a ‘Witch-Woman’
who seems friendly and welcoming at first, but
things soon take a dark turn. Teeny-Tiny is
the hero of the story, realising that the WitchWoman’s fence is made of bones and that she is
planning on eating the three children. Through
some highly amusing ingenuity, including asking
the Witch-Woman to fetch him some water in a
sieve, Teeny-Tiny manages to distract and delay
her long enough for him and his siblings to grab
her magic items and escape. The story presents
quite obvious morals: always listen to your
parents, don’t run off on your own, and don’t
speak to strangers (especially children-devouring
“I loved to dramatically act
out the role of Daisy whilst
my Mother played the role of
witches who live in the woods!). But despite this
it really does feel like a thrilling adventure rather
than a moral dictation, with those exquisitely
dark and dangerous twists that distinguish it
from the usual fairy tales and cutesy animal
stories that are usually picked up by parents.
A really enjoyable read that left me with great
memories and a wariness for ramshackle huts in
forests. — Kalika Puri
15
THE EASTER
HAMPER
With Easter just around the corner, Natasha Vaughan
has created an Easter hamper with all the must-have,
spring pieces for your wardrobe and beauty bag
2.
1.
5.
Paisley Frill Bardot Top - Topshop
£16 The prettiest gypsy-style number
in the game. This and a pair of denim
shorts when things get hot and voila!
We’re Coachella worthy!
Benefit Roller Lash Mascara - Boots
£19.50 Beauty bloggers have gone
crazy over Benefit’s latest wonderstick. Cue shameless rom-com style
eyelash fluttering.
16
6.
Stone Leather Triple Strap Heels
- New Look £34.99. These heels
are going to go with everything. Be
prepared to see your outfits up to a
strong 10/10.
10.
9.
3.
2 Tone Chloe Lace Triangle Bra ASOS £16. Pants £8 - Who cares if no
one else is gonna see them? Nothing
will unleash your inner Sasha Fierce
like this hot pink duo.
Anna Sui La Nuit de Boheme - The
Perfume Shop £25.50. This floralwoody-fruity scent is a head turner.
One bandwagon we’re definitely
jumping on.
Skinnydip Pink Clutch Bag with
Embellishment - ASOS £10 This
Skinnydip pink clutch is a dealmaker
with its’ pretty embellishment that
makes it the focal point for any outfit.
Blue Print Woven Wrap Front
Skirt - River Island £30. These are
for the girls who don’t mind standing
out and being object of outfit envy
everywhere.
7.
4.
Cream filigree cat eye sunglasses
- River Island £13. Make everyone
think you’ve just returned from the
Paris Fashion Week front row.
8.
Elemis Tri-Enzyme Resurfacing
Facial Wash - 50ml £8.50 Achieve
Kendall Jenner’s dewy glow with
minimal effort. Thank us later.
11.
3 Pack Cream Pink and Mint Green
Ditsy Floral Bulldog Hair Clips
- New Look £3.99 A trio of pastel
coloured hair grips. Naturally, come
Wednesday you’ll be wearing the pink.
Pale Blue Lace Insert Lace Up
Brogues - New Look £19.99 Did you
ever see a pair of flats so perfect?
Nope, us neither.
12.
Rose Print Ruffle Top - TopShop
£36 Ticking all the right boxes. Now
we just need to work out how we can
outfit repeat this to death without
getting caught.
FASHION & BE AUTY
A MANIC-CURE FOR
THE LONG WEEKEND
Naomi Saunders talks us through the skill of
nail art. From tips, tricks and essential tools,
this article will help you ensure that you have
the best mani this Easter
If there’s one thing that can make or break your
look, it has got to be the way you treat your nails.
As a self-confessed nail art junkie, I can safely
say that I have spent a many hours googling and
experimenting with different techniques in order
to achieve different looks, some of which have
worked, with others ending up horrific to say the
least.
Painting your nails can be a burden; however
it can also be a chance to take some time away
from stressful coursework and unleash some
creativity, in this case, with Easter themed nail
art! By putting effort into your nail art you are
guaranteed to not only feel relaxed but proud
of what you can do at home on a tight student
budget.
The first and vital part of any manicure is
ironically the one most people despise: prepping
your hands and nails. I’ve been there; you’re in a
rush and just want to paint anything to pull your
outfit together. You therefore knowingly break
every rule and just blob a thick layer onto each
nail and end up regretting it, either two minutes
down the line when it catches in your new clutch,
or after a couple of hours when every nail peels
off.
A quick wipe over the nails with some
remover prevents product build up and makes
application smoother. After washing and
drying your hands, moisturising is essential
to nourishing your nails after applying harsh
chemicals. I’d highly recommend the unique range
of Infusionz Candles which not only create a
relaxing ambience, but allow you to apply melted
wax to your hands as a soothing treatment. The
range can be found at toughasnails.co.uk in all
sorts of beautiful fragrances; my favourite would
have to be Wild Fig and Grape. If you are not the
steady handed sort, it may be worth applying
some Vaseline around your cuticles at this point,
allowing any slippage to be easily wiped away.
The first look is incredibly simple but
beautiful, inspired by Easter egg colours and
textures. As tempting as it may be to go without
applying a base coat, it is important in order to
prevent stained nails – I learned the hard way
before with yellow stained nails. I recommend
Sally Hansen’ Hard as Nails Hardener which is a
strengthening base and topcoat.
With every nail polish, apply with one
stroke in the middle followed by one each side,
in addition to sealing the colour by dragging the
brush across the top edge of the nails, preventing
chipping. Next, apply Barry M’s Gelly nail paint
in Rose Hip in two thin coats, making sure every
coat is dry in between applications. It was once
recommended to me that the best way to dry
and harden nail polish is to run cold water over
each nail, then blast them with a hairdryer on a
cool setting, and so far it’s proven to be a great
technique.
After both coats are dry, apply Barry M’s
Aquarium Collection in Treasure Chest to as
many nails as you like; I like decorative thumbs,
middle and ring fingers. I would recommend
applying two thin coats of the gold glitter to make
it eye catching, whilst evenly distributing the
speckles across each nail. Apply the Sally Hansen
as a topcoat and voilà, easy, foil-textured Easter
egg nails!
With the second look inspired by hatching
chicks, a little more equipment is useful such as
nail stripers and dotting tools, which are all readily
available on websites such as Amazon. However,
you can easily create the look on a budget using
a thin paintbrush instead of a striper and the
head of a bobby pin for a dotting tool. Start with
your base coat, and then follow with a thin layer
of white. Next, use the striper or paintbrush to
create a yellow zig-zag line two-thirds the way up
the nail, and then fill the bottom part in yellow.
After the second coat has dried, use the paint
brush to draw an orange beak and the bobby pin
to add two black eyes to the chick’s face. Finish off
with a topcoat and you have cute chick nails.
If, however, you don’t have the patience to
work through all of these steps alone or just fancy
a treat, take a trip to Rehab Nail Bar on Crwys
Road for the best customer service and highest
quality manicures – guaranteed to leave you with
dozens of compliments! Priding themselves upon
their creativity, Rehab is the perfect place to go
for funky and unique designs. Visit their page and
see some designs at rehabnailbar.com.
17
fashion
on the BIG
From the films that were so big a hit they
unknowingly influenced the way people
dress, to the films specifically about the
fashion world, they’re often an easy,
common source of inspiration for fashion
and beauty trends. Here are four of the
most popular films that can be noted
for their influential outfits and fashion
statements.
pretty
woman
Pretty Woman aka Julia Roberts is noted for
much more than her excellent performance
in bringing us a romantic tale. Tall, slim, sexy
with curly hair and a big smile - she’s got all
the right features of a woman crush. Her
wardrobe choices take us through the journey
of her transformation from prostitute to lady
showing a range of different looks.
The movie begins with her wearing
skin bearing short shorts and PVC thigh
high boots, the two surefire ingredients
for skimpy, unattractive attire. Yet Roberts
seems to pull it off to a T and look amazing
wearing the trashy clothes making us all
want to be her and dress like her far before
the romantic story begins.
Once she meets her prince, she
transforms into a lady wearing the most
elegant pieces from her posh hat and
glove accessories to the classic polka dot
dress at the polo scene and perhaps most
importantly, the floor sweeping off the
shoulder red gownß.
These iconic fashion moments of the
film have remained timeless looks ever since
and I have a feeling the they’re not about to
disappear from the fashion world any time
soon.
18
SCREEN
FASHION & BE AUTY
the great
gatsby
clueless
Tartan, tweeds, backpacks and scrunchies.
Need I say more? Oh no, I’m not listing
the current stock of New Look or Topshop,
I’m actually talking about fashion in the
film Clueless. The film has a high focus and
constant reference back to fashion and
shopping, with lines like “where’s my white
collarless shirt from Fred Segal? It’s my most
capable looking outfit” and “you see how
picky I am about my shoes and they only go
on my feet.”
It is therefore no doubt that it has influenced
girls and the fashion world over and over
again, kicking up old trends like tartan and
inspiring young girls to wear them. Alicia
Silverstone aka Cher’s signature look in the
movie is a collar shirt with a classic cardigan,
blazer, tweed skirt, knee high socks and
boots. With flawless make up and immaculate
blonde locks styled with a headband, her look
has made one of the most popular recreated
styles in popular culture. Combining Hit
Me Baby One More Time Britney old school
fashion with the all American preppy look,
this look is everywhere now from retail
stores to Pinterest boards and fashion blogs.
Want to know more about every hit
or miss there ever was in the clumsy,
awkward, and nostalgically beautiful
world of teen films, including Clueless?
Check out Film & TV’s feature on page 41.
This film is great in so many ways. Leonardo
for one, the soundtrack for another; but
the aesthetics and amazingly unique and
vintage wardrobe items for the most part.
The cinematic debut of The Great Gatsby
started off a huge trend of Gatsby-themed
parties, Gatsby gowns and the comeback of
vintage fashion items, all of which shot up in
popularity as soon as the movie was released
and still continue to be popular forms of
celebratory fashion to this day.
Lace, pearls, feathers, hats...this
1920’s look is an undeniably nostalgic
and romantic memoir to the Art Deco era
celebrating women for their femininity and
elegance. The 1920’s hair trend of fabulous
finger waves on a bob or short hair can be
recognised on Carey Mulligan aka Daisy and
can be seen to have been adapted and made
into a trend by celebrities such as Jennifer
Lawrence who have got the ‘chop’.
And as for men, DiCaprio aka Jay
Gatsby himself has set the bar high with
a classy, gentlemen’s fashion that us girls
would have you wear any day instead of
sweatpants. How to get the look? Suits, Bow
ties, handkerchiefs, suspenders, riding boots
and of course the dapper Dan haircut.
the devil
wears
prada
Well, well, if it isn’t a film about fashion. It
may be obvious that a film with conscious
fashion will be the most fashion savvy, yet The
Devil Wears Prada does a lot more than just
show us different looks and styles. Coming
straight from the catwalk, the movie features
big designer names and brings them to life on
andy aka Anne Hathaway, our favourite ‘ugly
girl’ (although how ugly she really is, we’re
not so sure). Whilst we’ve heard many of the
brands before...Dolce & Gabbana, Chanel,
Calvin Klein...it was this film that helped us
with the names of the clothes and gave us the
low down on high fashion, helping us make
our own interpretations.
Similar to Julia Roberts in Pretty
Woman, Hathaway’s character, Andy goes
through a complete high end transformation
that leaves us longing for expensive shoes
and handbags. The film is almost like a
lecture where your tastes are put to the test
and you’re slowly converted from having an
ordinary eye for clothes to pairing the most
random pieces together, mastering the craft
of creating unique looks like the ones in the
movie.
19
from
to CATWALK
HIGH
STREET
get the
LONDON
FASHION WEEK
look
spotlight this February. With the help of Lucy Guy, to recreate the top looks at affordable prices and how you can achieve catwalk
perfection from the high street without blowing the entirety of your student loan.
BURBERRY
PRORSUM
CHRISTOPHER
KANE
20
JULIEN
MACDONALD
ASHISH
FASHION & BE AUTY
ASHISH
JSV‡
The first outfit we have chosen is from
London-based designer Ashish who is inspired
by the beautiful and unexploited central
Asia. Ashish’s fashion sets out to achieve an
eclectic mix between casual and formalwear;
it’s suggested that its wearer will “reach
for an old wool dressing gown and throw it
over a matte sequin sheath worn to dinner
earlier that evening.” Our high street take
on this look incorporates a spring/summer
cami style dress from Missguided with cute
lace detailing. The dress is given an urban,
colourful and practical edge when teamed with
the Topshop jacket, which is certain to warm
you up during the cool springtime mornings.
The look is finished off with a pair of skyhigh red boots, from Pretty Little Thing, that
sit just above the knee. These boots are the
ultimate fashion must have right now, and can
be worn with a variety of outfits – casual with
jeans and a jumper, on a night out, or with an
ethereal spring dress as we’ve created here in a
high street version of Ashish’s uber-chic look.
‡
JSV‡
‡
CHRISTOPHER KANE
Julien Macdonald has become the go-to for
red carpet fashion since opening his own
fashion house in 2012. He’s styled the likes
of Beyoncé, Florence Welch and Taylor Swift;
this celebrity clientele is obvious in his recent
lines as he showcases the very best of glitz
and glam. If you’re looking to rock a celebinspired outfit to Revs or Glam this weekend
then Macdonald’s the guy for you (but only if
you’re prepared for a hefty price tag...). Fear
JSV‡
Add an on trend monochrome coat from
Missguided and these cute snakeskin boots
from H&M to complete the fashion trifecta.
This look is perfect for the approaching warmer
weather; the midi-skirt and boot combination
allows you to flash the perfect amount of
flesh whilst the Missguided coat is both
practical and stylish. The contrasting prints
are sure to put a spring in your step, as you’ll
have every head turning wherever you go.
‡
‡
not all you fashionistas, Quench is on hand to
recreate this catwalk look thanks to a sparkly
two-tone party dress by Missguided. The
dress hugs your figure in all the right places
and looks gorgeously glamorous when style
with a pair of Kim Kardashian-inspired heels
from Pretty Little Thing at a mere fraction
of the price. Finish off the look by adding a
choker, to give your girly party dress that edgy
twist and ensure your place in the stylebooks.
‡
‡
BURBERRY PRORSUM
‡
‡
‡
JULIEN MACDONALD
‡
Our third catwalk-to-high street look is
inspired by Christopher Kane, a popular
British designer to the likes of Millie
Mackintosh and Kylie Minogue. His London
Fashion Week catwalk is inspired by rich
fabrics, silhouettes and clashing textures.
We’ve recreated Kane’s look with a bargain
snakeskin skirt from Pretty Little Thing;
its nude colour is perfect for the spring/
summer season, and its one staple piece you’ll
certainly be able to wear time and time again.
‡
JSV‡
The Burberry show at London Fashion Week
is always one of the most hotly anticipated
shows by fashion’s elite. This year saw Cara
Delevingne and Jourdan Dunn in prime
position on the FROW. Burberry is a classic
English fashion house and inspires all the
major high street brands. It’s cool and trendy
following – like Delevingne and Dunne - means
it’s one of the most influential brands to date.
It’s clear that the 70s is a huge trend right now
and it looks like it’s here to stay; Burberry has
incorporated all of the best parts of it with
this look straight from the catwalk. We’ve
created a high street version with a boho-babe
maxi dress from Boohoo along with a Kate
Moss style black waistcoat to be worn open
over the top of the dress. Our Accessorize
bag is adorned with on trend tassels and
the super-chic sunglasses are from Urban
Outfitters. This look is very Kate Bosworthcome-Sienna Miller and is perfect for Spring/
Summer. You are sure to find yourself digging
out those trusted wellies and teaming it with
this outfit once the festival season dawns.
21
Wellness retreats are
usually reserved for
those with more deeply
filled pockets than
your average student.
However, you don’t
need to be plunged into
your overdraft before
you can enjoy one of
these breaks...
s
s
e
n
l
l
e
W
s
t
a
e
retr
...This month, Quench
Travel bring you the
best that the UK has to
offer, all on a student
friendly budget
22
TRAVEL
ecoYoga
Centre
Yoga is often seen as an activity reserved for
middle class yummy mummies, with some
retreats charging over £1000 for a week of
relaxation. The ecoYoga Centre in Scotland
offer catered or self-catered retreats from as
little as £62pppn. The retreat is a couple of
hours away from Glasgow, nestled between
lochs and forests, and is reliant on its own
hydro turbine and solar panels for power.
With only 13 rooms, plus three extra beds
in the yurt, the retreat is perfect for a solo
getaway. The food is grown in an organic
garden and water is sourced from a natural
spring just above the retreat. Yoga is taught
every morning in the 60sqm shala fitted with
under floor heating. There are also multiple
baths dotted around the nearby forest for
ultimate relaxation.
Costs: Self-catered-£62pppn, Catered-from
£350pppn
Location: 2.5 hours via bus from Glasgow,
£15 per way
Camp
Katur
Amchara
Health Retreat
Revitalise
Fitness Retreat
Perhaps camping in Yorkshire isn’t the first
thing that comes to mind in the search for
a glamorous weekend retreat. However, you
can leave your sleeping bag at home at Camp
Katur. The site has a range of accommodation
from hobbit pods to teepees, all fit with
log burning stoves and candles. Activities
come at an affordable price and include
wine tasting, cupcake decorating, burlesque
workshops and Segway treks. The Eco spa
offers a sauna and hot tub for visitors to use
and there are even musical instruments and
equestrian facilities should you want to bring
your horse!
Revitalise Fitness is a luxury retreat offering
5 star accommodation and personal training
near the beautiful Cornish coastline. A typical
day at the retreat involves a countryside
walk, nutrition seminars, trampolining and
a legs, bums and tums session. Meals of
salmon wrapped in parma ham, and banana
and apricot smoothies are included in the
price of the retreat. At the end of your day,
enjoy a soothing soak in your private hot tub
or a massage courtesy of the retreat.
Costs: From £30pppn
Location: Bedale, North Yorkshire
Costs: From £399pp
Location: Bude, Cornwall
Perfect for those looking for a quick fix,
Amchara Health claim a weeklong stay at
their retreat could result in you losing 10 to
12lbs. The retreat offers a range of weekend
and week-long programs ranging from juice
fasting to raw food detoxes. The programs
involve a one-to-one health consultation,
daily yoga and meditation, skin-care courses
and even fresh wheatgrass shots everyday.
The retreat is set amongst extensive gardens
with its own swimming pool and sauna. There
are only 12 bedrooms, all with en-suites with
a mix of doubles and twins dependent on
your budget.
Costs: From £395pp
Location: Langford Budville, Somerset
23
st c
o
the m
o
on
m
m
TRAVEL
SCAMS
w to
nd ho
...a
1. If they shove it in your hands, don’t be afraid to shove
it back.
This is a common practice in Italy (specifically Rome),
Egypt, Paris and Barcelona. If a street-seller approaches
you clutching bracelets, necklaces, or face-paint/henna
equipment, be wary of an age-old but effective scam that
has even caught even the most travel-savvy out. If they take
your wrist and attempt to simply ‘show’ you how lovely you
look with a bracelet on, you better hope you do, because
they often tie it in such a way that it can’t be taken off-
24
avo
When in University, far away from home and gripped with
a fresh sense of freedom and a sudden pique of wanderlust,
students often take planes, trains and banged up Toyotas
missing a window-wiper to explore the world while they’re
young and carefree. But under the guise of helpful natives,
travellers and tourists often fall victim to scammers who are
after a quick buck, a shiny new gadget, or even worse-your
identity. When Mum and Dad aren’t on hand to rush to your
rescue, no one wants to be stranded in a foreign country
minus their bank cards, phone or passport. So before you
get spirited away to try that mythical snake poison shot in
China or balance the whole of the Leaning Tower of Pisa on
your hand (you know who you are), recognise the warning
signs before potential pickpockets or con-artists strike.
unless you have a pair of scissors handy. When
their merchandise is nice and snug around your
wrist, they will often demand payment and cause
a scene if you refuse, even if you’re trying with all
your might to get the damn thing off.
A language barrier in foreign countries makes
it a lot more difficult to decline politely, and those three
ominous henna dots on your hand could cost you dearly.
Another well-known trick, which has even hit the streets
of Cardiff, is the good old ‘Rose for the lady?’ scam. These
street-sellers have been encountered many a time outside
Glam, waving cotton flowers in your face or that of the guy
you’re standing with. Lads, once your drunken female mate
clutches one adoringly and gazes into your eyes waiting
for you to pay up, they’ve got you hooked. These plasticstemmed souvenirs have often been bought for £3 or more,
despite being worth no more than 50p, and it’s no different
abroad. Although these minor scams could leave you out
of pocket by a few quid, there are more dangerous crooks
afoot. Enter the ‘beggar with a baby’ racket - an apparent
homeless/poor woman approaches you with a baby in her
arms, and subsequently throws it at you. In your shock and
confusion, while you catch the baby and fumble with it, you
id t
hem
TRAVEL
“
Pretty much everything
‘is tradition’ according to
some fraudsters - including
luring you into a vast
souvenir emporium you
fear you will never escape
from
“
are quickly frisked of your valuables, and it turns out to be
nothing more than a doll. Hard to believe, but this trick is
rife in Rome.
2. Playing on your heartstrings.
We humble students may not be the richest of folk, but
wave a young child, elderly gent or - God forbid - an injured
animal in front of us, emotional weakness normally kicks
into overdrive. However, natives of the country you’re
travelling to are fully aware of this, and use this to their
advantage. Common in India, beggar children will flock
around you, and possibly hold their hands up in request
of loose change. At this point, they could already be going
through your pockets - but if not, although it is hard not
to, try not to hand out the few jangling coins you have.
If you give money to one child and not the others, this
often causes fights and bullying and a lot of the time, the
coins are taken straight from the children by bigger, more
intimidating adults. Instead, pop into a local shop and buy a
cheap bag of sweets, and delegate these out fairly - but bear
in mind that if you’re staying in the area for a prolonged
period of time, you may be expected to do this the next day,
and the next day, and so on. Also, in India there are many
stray cows on the streets that often cross the roads when
they feel like. If by some misfortune you accidentally hit
one on a bike/in a car, don’t be surprised if a farmer should
miraculously appear and demand payment, even if the cow
does not seem injured and gets up and trots off as if nothing
has happened. Cows are sacred in India, and therefore the
price the farmer will be asking for may be extortionately
high. However, consider the fact the cow may not even
belong to the farmer, or that the cow may not need any vet
treatment at all before you hand over any cash. Normally,
if you offer to call a vet to come and look at the animal,
the farmer will desist in harassing you. If he’s not getting
money quick and fast, and not in his own back pocket, then
it’s too much trouble.
3. The ‘This is our tradition’ charm
Unless you have read up on your chosen destination so
much you actually took out a library book on it, no tourist
is going to know more about the traditions and culture than
the inhabitants themselves. Hence, you’ll find that pretty
much everything ‘is tradition’ according to some fraudsters
- including luring you into a vast souvenir emporium you
fear you will never escape from. One true tale is of a Cardiff
student’s dad’s nightmare experience in Egypt, which
involved him talking to a market stall holder who was
selling paintings and tapestries. During the conversation,
the student’s dad mentioned his two daughters’ names,
and his wife’s - and by the end of the chat, the stallholder
proudly held aloft a painting inscribed with the names
of his entire family. Awkward. Naturally of course, the
stallholder was cheerfully demanding a high price for his
hard, irreversible work- which her dad neither needed,
wanted, nor could get back through customs. In Fiji, an off
ering of a taste of the country’s traditional root drink, kava,
is used to attract travellers into souvenir shops, and while
the drink and general merriment is being passed around,
the shop owner has quietly noted the names of people in the
group and is busy carving them into wooden tribal statues,
that you would be ‘insulting tradition’ to not accept. Taxi
drivers have been known to loiter on routes leading up to
massive monuments/sightseeing spots, to try and convince
approaching travellers that the sites are closed, and they
can take you to a better one. These end up being gift-shops
in which you will be forced to buy a trinket in exchange for
the ‘free’ taxi ride. These groups of guys are often in on the
scams together.
Although these scams mounted up could potentially scare
you off from travelling altogether, simply having your wits
about you and by keeping valuables in a locked/zipped
section of your bag, an inside jacket pocket or the good old
bum-bag, can make the chances of being pickpocketed less
likely. When people demand money from you, try not to
feel intimidated- they will play on this and will be less likely
to leave you alone. Remember, they get refused numerous
times a day, you won’t be the first and last to reject an
overpriced pair of Rey-Bon sunglasses or ‘authentic’ jade
Buddha ornaments. If you want a collection of photos of
you and your travel buddy, be cautious of the fact that
handing over your camera to a stranger to take a photo
could tempt them into running off with it, so invest in a
good old disposable camera, or even invest in a selfie-stick,
they were invented for a reason, after all. Lastly, try to blend
in. If you are visiting a less affluent country, don’t showcase
your wealth by wearing diamond earrings, hauling round a
Gucci handbag or flashing the cash. Remember, half of these
scams are brought around by desperation, but that is not to
say they should ruin your holiday. Be savvy, not sceptical.
Not everyone on your trip is out to con you. Happy travels!
—Alexandra Chapman
25
NEW/
NEWY D D
Yeezus Christ.
Harriet Brown
Falling in love is no mean feat, but Harriet Brown is about to make it that much
easier. ‘Baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, I know you
ain’t got that health insurance, but I just
wanna know when’s the last time you got
your eyes checked because your vision of
yourself is messin’’ he croons on ‘20/15,’
a 21st century funk-drenched ballad
banger that’s sure to make your heart
race. With a full-length album in the
works, there’s more of the same to look
forward to as well; if ‘20/15’ is anything
to go by, this 2015 will be a stonker of a
year for your very own HB.
For Fans Of: Twin Peaks, Richard Curtis
rom-coms and Prince
Download: ‘20/15’
soundcloud.com/harriet-brown-1
@yourveryownHB
BERNARD + EDITH
If gloomy synth pop is a thing, Manchester duo Bernard + Edith are
the ones championing it. From dizzyingly elegant harmonies to oriental
synth jabs and clattering floor toms, latest single ‘WURDS’ does a pretty
good job in acting like the soundtrack to a 20-something’s first visit to
the East, overstuffed backpack and muddied Toms in tow. Bernard +
Edith are more than that, though; the duo are impeccably attentive
when playing with space. And, with more than enough musical ideas
happening all at once, their growing catalogue is as bewitching as it is
peculiar.
For Fans Of: tUnE-yArDs
Download: ‘WURDS’
soundcloud.com/bernard-edith
@bernardvedith
Chris Cartier
Finding the perfect balance between cadence and confidence can be a toughy;
let it run slightly too far either way, and you’ve lost your approach. Chris
Cartier, New York native, has been working on his equilibrium for some time
now and latest release, ‘Tempo,’ shows that all the hard graft has finally paid
off. A suitably smooth release, it truly has the potential to kick-start the career
that Chris Cartier is so clearly on the edge of.
For Fans Of: J Cole, Kendrick Lamar, Big Sean
Download: ‘Tempo’
soundcloud.com/chriscartier
@ChrisCartierNYC
Star Tropics
Musicians are expected to reinvent the wheel far too much
nowadays; tracks are regularly deemed ‘boring’ unless they push
boundaries or feature a warbling Himalayan Sherpa who sings
whilst balancing a Gentoo penguin on their nose and sucking on a
strawberry Chupa Chups. What was wrong with the tried and tested
formulas? The little tricks that make a good song great? The answer:
nothing, we just began to want more. Star Tropics may not be the
band to give you more, but they will, without a doubt, be the band
to remind you of ‘those days.’ With some pretty little guitar riffs
and a whole bunch of well-placed harmonies, this Chicago indie-pop
quartet are one for the summer.
For Fans Of: Songs that sound suspiciously like Sixpence None The
Richer’s ‘Kiss Me’ (this is in no way a bad thing, we love “nostalgia”)
Download: ‘Swept Away’
soundcloud.com/startropics
26
MUSIC
“We’ve been thinking more
about textures, different layers
and vocal styles…”
“People should come to
Feels Like Summer because the
line-up is killer!”
– KUTOSIS
– Mutiny On The Bounty
Jealous Lovers Club and Juxtaposed kick off the festival season this May with a corker of a day at Cardiff’s cosiest establishment,
Gwdihw. Feels Like Summer will take over the venue with two stages and a line up filled to the brim with some of the best
names in up and coming and underground alternative music, including newly announced KUTOSIS, Mutiny On The Bounty,
Samoans, Wasters and more...
KUTOSIS
Album no. 3 is in the works – how is
that going?
It’s going great. We’ve been busy since the
start of the year writing and we’ve recently
demoed 5 new songs.
FEELS
LIKE
SUMMER
We chat to some
of the artists set
to play this year’s
micro-festival…
Have you been trying anything
different this time around?
We’ve been thinking more about textures,
different layers and vocal styles however
the musical direction has happened quite
instantly. There’s been less of a conscious
decision in terms of style and direction, as
with the previous album Dream It Away.
Will we be hearing some new tracks at
Feels Like Summer? We probably won’t be playing any new
tracks until after the summer.
Who are you most looking forward to
seeing on the FLS line-up?
Johnny Foreigner, Rough Music and
Samoans!
MUTINY
ON THE
BOUNTY
Why should people come and see you at
Feels Like Summer?
People should come to Feels Like Summer
because the line-up is killer! That’s it! And
it’s our very first time in Wales so it’s very
special for us!
What can we expect from the new
album, Digital Tropics?
Digital Tropics is a step ahead from Trials.
The ideas are more concise; it really is a
mix of all our influences. There are more
electronic sounds, more groove and more
danceable tracks. We’re really excited to
present it soon!
Tell us a bit about the idea behind the
new video for ‘MLK JKSN’?
The track has got some kind of strange, 80’s
Michael Jackson vibe, so we went on the
idea to recreate the soul train set. We’ve shot
during 2 days asking friends to dance and to
let go to recapture the soul train’s vibe.
Who are you most looking forward to
seeing on the FLS line-up?
It’s tough to say but I’d say Johnny Foreigner
and Samoans. The first are long time
favourites and Samoans are a new band we
discovered at last year’s ArcTanGent.
27
“We’re just living and trying to exist on this planet,
and that in itself is continuous exploration.”
GHOSTPOET
We chat to Ghostpoet
on confounding
expectations,
being creative
and his love of
people
28
MUSIC
Obaro Ejimiwe is nothing if not unconventional. For
many, the words ‘British rapper’ conjure up the image of
Professor Green in chunky chains from Argos insulting
mother figures across the nation, but for this 32-yearold from Coventry, it couldn’t be further from the
truth. Describing himself as a ‘random maverick’ when
he was first signed to Brownswood Recordings in 2010,
Ejimiwe’s first release, The Sound of Strangers, marked the
beginning of something different altogether for British
rap. With a sound completely unlike anything else at the
time, Ejimiwe’s mellow soundscapes and introspective
crooning won him The Guardian’s Band of the Day in
2010, and from there, his critical acclaim skyrocketed.
Within half a year of his first album Peanut Butter Blues
& Melancholy Jam being released, Ejimiwe was nominated
for the prestigious Mercury Prize, taking his place on the
shortlist alongside musical heavyweights like Everything
Everything, Elbow and PJ Harvey. Despite Harvey taking
the crown, Ejimiwe’s subsequent album Some Say I So I
Say Light saw him only grow in popularity, jumping over
40 places in the UK album charts, with his newest release
Shedding Skin set only to extend his upward trajectory.
After asking how he’s feeling in the run up to his
first spate of tour dates, Ejimiwe replies that it’s been
a “weird road, just funny to be at this point now.” He
attempts to continue but his voice is suddenly drowned
out by a flurry of voices in the background; “Sorry mate
I’m just stuck in a really loud café, just let me get out
of this.’ I hear him ask in the background “Can I have a
brownie please?” as he goes to leave.
It’s fairly common for people to have their
heir
expectations turned upside-down by Ejimiwe. Just
ust as the
public were getting used to his unique style of mellow
electronic synths, mumbled aphorisms
sms and gentle backing
vocals he turns things on their
eir head with this new guitar
record. “Throughout these last
st two albums I’ve flirted with
guitar, bass, drums, those sort
ort of elements. I didn’t have
the confidence though, to pursue
rsue that direction. I felt with
this record… I wanted to make
ake a guitar record.” Luckily
enough, Ejimiwe has no shortage
ortage of excellent musicians
at arm’s length. On both Peanut
eanut Butter Blues and Some
Say, Ejimiwe worked with guitarist
uitarist Joe Newman of Alt-J
fame, alongside John Calvertt on bass and John Blease on
drums. On his newest release
se however, they feature on
every single track. When I ask him why, he says he just
wanted to make sure his record
ord was in the “right world”,
nonchalantly adding “it just felt right to do it. I love guitar
music.”
After even the briefest
st glimpse of Shedding Skin,
it immediately becomes apparent
parent that Ejimiwe is not a
musician that remains static in his genre. “I need to keep
pushing myself, keep tryingg to evolve,” and this third
album is helping him accomplish
mplish just that. Featuring
the likes of Belgian jazz musician
sician Melanie di Bassio and
Maxïmo Park’s Paul Smith, Ejimiwe has cherry-picked
musicians from a broad spectrum
ctrum of genres to not only
build a guitar record, but a record that is capable of
standing as a genre in its own
wn right. Is he worried about
how this new transition is going to be received? Not at
all. “I just look at it like ‘I love making music.’ I’m going
to make music that I want to make and if people love it,
great! If they hate it, cool.” Laughing at what he’s just said,
he adds on “It’s just the nature of things, man.”
After a brief interruption while he orders a
coffee, I ask about his new project, #openshoot, which
he has undertaken with the help of high-street retailer
Topman. The project aims to crowdsource a music video
for forthcoming release ‘X Marks the Spot’ by collecting
images, patterns, film clips and illustrations sent in by
fans. With Lee Hempstock, a friend and fellow creative
of Ejimiwe, as director, he states simply that it “just
felt right y’know?” Topman help to make the video, he
tells me, but as a musician, Ghostpoet retains complete
creative control. Although he’s enlisted a bit of help, this
isn’t Ejimiwe’s first excursion into the visual medium. “I’m
into photography at the moment. I have two cameras, a
Lomo and a Leica. It’s just an entry level Leica, nothing
professional.”
It’s understandable that there’s no shortage
of people that would want to work with someone in
possession of such creative passion, but how does he
choose who he wants to work with? “I just chose people
I admire or people I’m friends with,” he explains.
ains. “I love
Melanie di Bassio and I love her music,
sic, I love all the
people I’ve worked with,” from esteemed folk musician
Lucy Rose to the talented but controversial Etta Bond. “I
write the songs with
th particular voices in mind, and I just
try to match the voices [of other artists] with the songs.”
Ejimiwe’s choice of song-subjects has played a large
role in his success. Speaking about pies in the oven, mugs
of tea and bacon sarnies, Ghostpoet couldn’t have placed
himself at a further distance from the label of egomaniacal
rapper. When asked him if he sees himself as a ‘champion
of the 9-5ers,’ he’s quick to shrug off that label too. “No!”
he openly laughs, “I’m just a lover of people, I’m a person
who lives in a world with everyone else… It’s not so much
about 9-5ers; it’s kind of just people, human beings and
the ups-and-downs we all go through be it working 9 to
5 or 5 to 9. We’re just living and trying to exist on this
planet, and that in itself is just continuous exploration.”
As a musician, Ghostpoet gets the chance to travel
and explore frequently, and from his experience he’s
encountered a wealth of different peoples. The journey
from unknown to established artist via a mercury
nomination has been a humbling experience for Ejimiwe,
and he’s emerged from it with some valuable lessons.
“We’re all the same, regardless of language, the colour
of your skin, sex. We’re all the same. I just want to make
music that anyone can relate to, regardless of where you’re
from, your upbringing or financial status.” As he says this,
the soft-spoken demeanour that has won him so much
acclaim creeps through again; “I feel like it’s important to
have music to relate to. That’s all I’m trying to do.”
Shedding Skin is available now to stream and download
—Greg McChesney
“I need to keep
pushing myself,
keep trying to
evolve”
29
LUCY
ROSE
Lucy Rose opens up about her
new album and impromptu
gigs in an exclusive interview
with Quench Music
Days after dropping the first single and release
date of her new album, Work It Out, Lucy Rose
is excited. The 25 year-old only recently opened
her tour in Tunbridge Wells, debuting a bunch
of new songs that went down a storm: “I was
pretty nervous beforehand, there’s a lot of new
material that we’re playing and it was our first
real reaction to the new stuff, but it was so good
and the most supportive welcoming crowd.”
After confirming the summer release date
of her sophomore record, she is relieved to finally
get underway. “July 13th is happening, touch
wood, so it kind of finally feels a bit real.” Rose
attributes delays to her desire to create a group
of songs that are her own and best work. “Song
writing-wise, I wanted to write it all myself and
I didn’t want to do any co-writes and things like
that where there’s a pressure to deliver. The only
roadblock was myself, just pushing myself to
write as good material as I could to make this
album what it needs to be.”
Since the recording of debut Like I Used
To, Lucy has signed to major Columbia Records,
meaning a marked contrast in the process for
her follow-up. “Lots of things are different, for
the first one, I didn’t have any funding and I was
unsigned so that was just recorded at my parents
house in the living room. This time I was lucky
enough to be signed, which meant that we did get
to go and do it in the studio properly. I’d never
really had that experience before!”
Some of the songs previewed over the past
30
year, including atmospheric piano-led ‘Nebraska’,
have seen a sonic shift, with more emphasis
on electric guitars and keyboards, which Rose
credits to an eagerness to try new things. “I guess
just my curiosity for variety in what I’m doing.
I’ve played acoustic guitar for so long, I bought
a piano and just used to play, not trying to write
songs, just to practice and get good at piano, and
then songs sort of just came out of that.”
Despite the musical left turn, the same
lyrical approach is present on the new material.
“Lyrically it’s still very much me and very much
feelings orientated like the first record. All very
much just life situations that I’ve found myself
in and they’re not overly complicated, I’m not
actually very good at lyrics I don’t think, they’re
always massively simple, so I think it’s pretty
similar!”
For many Rose came to prominence on the
back of guest spots with Bombay Bicycle Club,
but she maintains that she had always intended
to release and perform her own music. “I was
doing music before I started singing with them,
so that was always my intention, that was why I
was in London doing open mics. We made friends
at one of their gigs and they asked me to sing
with them, so that was just like an amazing side
project to be involved in and they were always
very supportive of what I was still trying to do.”
Another band to lend their support have
been the platinum selling U.S. alt-rock band,
Counting Crows. Singer Adam Duritz invited
Lucy to open their UK tour and to play at his
2013 Texas showcase, something she is still
wrapping her head around. “It’s one of those
weird things that I’m not 100% sure how it
happened but I think it was one of Adam’s friends
runs a blog and he’s very interested in music and
spends all day looking to see what’s out there. He
showed Adam some [of our] stuff and he really
liked our music. It was very odd to suddenly get a
call from someone like that being like ‘Hey I like
your music and come on the road with us.” And,
in 2013, Rose was given the chance to duet on
Welsh heroes Manic Street Preachers’ acoustic
lament ‘This Sullen Welsh Heart.’ “It’s just a
beautiful song. There was enough pressure as it
was just being in their studio; singing on one of
their songs was kind of [too much] for me to take
in.”
“THE ONLY
ROADBLOCK
WAS MYSELF, JUST
PUSHING MYSELF TO
WRITE AS GOOD MATERIAL
AS I COULD TO MAKE THIS
ALBUM WHAT
IT NEEDS TO BE”
MUSIC
“IT’S GONE STRAIGHT
FROM THE COCOA BEAN
TO THE CHOCOLATE BAR
WHICH IS QUITE RARE,
AND IT’S DELICIOUS”
Rose spent some of the downtime between
record cycles relaxing and getting outside the
practice room, sometimes as far as South East
Asia. “We did a show in Manila, then we all went
on holiday to an island called Boracay in the
Phillipines, a band holiday, which was kind of
weird but also it was amazing to be hanging out
not in musical ways. Our tour manager was with
us and it was his birthday so he made us do an
impromptu gig really drunk at about 3 o’clock in
the morning with loads of Rastafarians’ bongos
and instruments, it’s kind of embarrassing.”
When back on home soil, the onus has been on
unwinding and waiting for inspiration to take
hold. “A lot of walking in the Lake District, I’m
sort of an outdoors person. But mainly song
writing, you never know when it’s going to
happen.”
Back on the road, and after the success of
her blend of tea on the at previous shows, Lucy
Rose has something new for us to try on this tour.
“I’m selling chocolate! It is special chocolate. My
best friend Phil Landers makes chocolate and
he made this in our kitchen. It’s gone straight
from the cocoa bean to the chocolate bar which
is quite rare, and it’s delicious, really good.” After
sampling both the 74% Ecuadorian and 60%
Trinidad (washed down with a cup of Rose’s
Builder Grey) we can confirm that the chocolate
is both tasty and a nice change from standard
T-shirt and poster fare.
For the rest of the year, the focus will be
on promoting Work It Out. “Touring is a massive
massive part of what I do and I love it and want
to do as much as possible, so I hope so we’ll just
wait and see.” Armed with a some fantastic new
songs and a range of edible goodies to entice
punters, Rose should have no problem repeating
the rapturous applause afforded to her at shows
across the country.
—Dillon Eastoe
31
MU S I C
REVIE W S
We review albums from The Cribs, The Only
Real, Dune Rats and Drenge, and shows from
Lucy Rose, Glass Animals and Architects
GLASS ANIMALS
The Globe, March 12th
The Globe, March 10th
With 2 years passed since her debut release and the follow-up only
announced this week, it’s refreshing to see The Globe packed with
an enthusiastic crowd for Lucy Rose’s Cardiff return. Openers
The Half Earth combine droning synths, chiming guitars and
yearning vocals lilting over processed drum loops, keeping the
crowd attentive throughout their half hour set and introducing
the relaxed atmosphere that punctuates the whole evening.
Rapturous applause greets Rose and her four-piece
backing band as they take to the stage with unheard new song
‘Köln’, showcasing the more electric sound expected on the
forthcoming record, Work It Out. Throughout the new material,
Rose picks out intricate riffs on her new Fender Jaguar, expertly
delivering her vocals over the top, while the rhythm section of
drums and bass guitar create a tighter groove than her older, folkindebted material. An album highlight come July will surely be
‘Nebraska’, a sparse and haunting arrangement that sees Rose
take to the piano for the first time, inviting hushed reverence
from the audience. Amidst all the fresh songs there’s still plenty
of room for well known older tracks; the chorus of ‘Lines’ sounds
bigger each time it circles round, wonderfully contrasted with the
whispered sing-along to the tender ‘Nightbus’.
After excellent new cut ‘Like an Arrow’, which fuses the
melody of old and the new instrumental approach, Rose brings
the house down with arguably her most fragile song ‘Shiver’. The
response is deafening and nearly bowls the über-modest Rose
over, thanking the congregation profusely. A slew of old hits
and recent toe-tapping single ‘Our Eyes’ close out the main set,
with the increased energy between the performers and audience
palpable. After barely a minute the band return to soak up the
adulation and fire off two more songs, reaching crescendo with
‘Red Face’, leaving The Globe contented yet eagerly awaiting the
new record.
—Dillon Eastoe
32
Credit: livemusicblog.com
LUCY ROSE
Despite it being a dark and dreary Thursday night, The Globe
is packed to the rafters with an audience clad in a variety of
brightly coloured shirts reminiscent of the artwork for Glass
Animals’ debut album ZABA. There is the sense that The Globe
is about host to a party rather than just a gig; even before the
supporting act starts, the already sizable crowd sway and bob to
the background sounds.
As supporting act Dominic Griffin takes the stage, the
tempo slows down significantly with his brand of velvety,
downbeat pop. The crowd continue to be lively as Griffin downs
his Red Stripe and invites crowd members up on stage to crack
a joke or two, the highlight being when a teenage girl comes up
with “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the
ice”, winks at Griffin and jumps back into her pack of giggling
mates.
Glass Animals make their way onto stage to a rapturous
applause. When lead vocalist Dave Bayley remarks half
way through the set that the crowd is as much a part of the
performance as the band itself, he isn’t joking. The crowd bellows
along with Bayley as he swoons over his bands’ psychedelic altpop to standout tracks from ZABA such as ‘Black Mambo’ and
‘Gooey’, even going as far as plunging into the crowd several
times to dance.
The encore is certainly be the talking point for many
audience members, as Glass Animals bring their version of Kanye
West’s ‘Love Lockdown,’ one that wouldn’t feel out of place on
their own album and gfinishing off with single ‘Pools’ forcing the
crowd to break from their sway into a full-blown leaping contest.
—Jack Boyce
ARCHITECTS
MOTION, March 9th
Not that long ago, Brighton metal-mob Architects were falling
apart. A difficult year and personal strife caused the band to
face an ultimatum: fix up or break up. Luckily, they latched to
the former and now, a year after the acclaimed Lost Forever//
Lost Together was released, Sam Carter and co. are back on a vast
European and UK tour with pals from across the pond.
The first two acts tonight have something in common:
both have arrived to perform to fans of their own, not just those
of tonight’s headliners. Counterparts and Blessthefall clamber
barriers and headbang with synchronicity, riling the sea of people
beneath them. If that wasn’t enough, Every Time I Die follow
with a set so savage and well-received they could be tonight’s
headliners themselves. Shouts, yells, riffs and mayhem galore,
how will Architects follow such an onslaught?
Easily, that’s how. Storming through the likes of fan
favourites ‘Broken Cross’ and ‘Alpha Omega’, Architects enter in
style. To the crowd, they appear as shadows moving through a
sea of red, white and blue strobes but even as shadows they are
towering giants. Their first UK live play of ‘Castles In The Air’
proves such a status as every word is sung back to them with
heartfelt venom. The same can be said for old favourites ‘Early
Grave’ and ‘These Colours Don’t Run’ and even by the time
encore closer ‘Gravedigger’ is reached, everyone in the room still
looks ready to go in for another round. Tonight is testament to
the passion and energy Architects have put in to coming back
from the brink, it’s been worth the blood, sweat and tears. There
is no doubt as the crowd leave tonight that Architects are one of
the best live bands Britain has to offer.
—Alice Hoddinott
MUSIC
THE CRIBS
For All My
Sisters
DUNE RATS
Dune Rats
ONLY REAL
Jerk At The
End Of The Line
DRENGE
Undertow
The Cribs have had ample time to become
indie cult icons, so what can we expect from
the threesome’s sixth outing? Jangly guitar
riffs to bring back those Johnny Marr collab.
days? Check. Drastically understated lyrics
on deterred romance? Check. Yes, the boys
are back in town after three years since
In The Belly Of The Brazen Bull, and future
single ‘Burning For No One’ owns a sense
of irony in extinguishing itself prematurely.
But ‘Mr. Wrong’ takes on a new style; synth
crossed with the hard-hitting bass that
brought The Cribs to the forefront.
But the continuous riffage on For All
My Sisters starts to become a bit samey;
the latter half of the album saves this, with
songs like ‘Simple Story’ turning out a lot
more complex than the title would claim,
and more ethereal pieces like ‘Pink Snow’
and ‘Diamond Girl’ do the new material
significant justice.
The time when The Cribs were putty in
the hands of collaborators such as Marr and
Sonic Youth’s Lee Ranaldo are over – this
time, the ball is very much in their court
and they are acting like it. ‘Pacific Time’ is
a hard-hitting epic that would undoubtedly
go down well live and exactly what we’d
expect from the brothers Jarman, but the
concept of ‘the unexpected’ remains merely
a concept. But it is the vocals in ‘Burning For
No One’ - ‘Like a candle on a vacant table,
being so denied’ that say a lot about the
record as a whole. Perhaps every once in a
while we’d just like The Cribs to catch wind
of a musical curtain, and completely burning
the house down? As good as we are with
their smoldering record on show, The Cribs
sadly have a lot more to prove here.
—Veryan Leaper
A tenacious and passionate trio of self-confessed
‘hyperactive stoner cunts’ hailing from Brisbane,
Dune Rats set out to embark on the creation
of an album dedicated to having a good time
with your friends; this eponymous and first full
length record is the fifth instalment from the
Australians and marks the perfect follow up to
their 2013 EP, Smile.
An amazing blend of stoner-surfer rock,
with hues of straight-up punk, hardcore and
thrashy post-grunge, Dune Rats represents
what would happen if Nirvana and the Fleet
Foxes had a baby. This is a baby imbued with
mind-altering drugs, conceived in a shed on
Australia’s south coast, with gestation taking
little over a week; the honest and simple
combinations which make the songs, make the
album what it is, a collection of simple, honest
good ol’ fashioned beach-rock songs.
Tracks ‘Homesick’, ‘ET’ and ‘Dalai Lama
Big Banana Marijuana’ leave the listener
with calm, chilled and mellow vibes all whilst
whetting the appetite for something harder.
Passive-aggressive chill-core, a mixture of all
elements quintessential of both genres and an
amazing appeal for all; the Dune Rats’ latest
instalment is a catchy, heartfelt and full of that
charm that can only come from writing a record
with your best-friends in a shed by the beach
on the south coast of Australia; the ethos of
‘no bullshit’ has led the Dunies to the creation
of this, their debut full-length album, straight
from the gut confessionals about chilling out
with your friends, having a good time and
smoking green drugs.
—Dale Evans
It seems that Niall Galvin – the face behind
Only Real – has endeavoured immensely to
match his musical style to his fashion sense on
his debut, Jerk At The End Of The Line. His retro
shirts and backwards 5-panel caps chime in
perfect harmony with his lo-fi throwback tracks
and laid-back, casual lyricism. The 21 year old’s
debut LP takes the Childish Gambino approach
to music, refusing to stick in one genre or the
other. At any given point, a track firmly rooted
in hip-hop - with Galvin rapping over dreamy,
shoegaze-esque backing tracks - can break into
falsetto choruses that wouldn’t be out of place
on an Earth Wind and Fire record.
Citing influences such as the Beach
Boys (from his mother), Van Morrison (from
his father) and hip-hop & guitar music (from
skate videos), it’s easy to understand why
Jerk is so musically far-reaching. His releases
‘Backseat Kissers’ and ‘Cadillac Girl’ are redolent
of warm, dusky California evenings, while the
chill loop track ‘Lemonade’ from his Days in
the City LP would be a perfect accompaniment
to any vintage Rodney Mullen flatland video.
In tracks like ‘Pass the Pain’ and ‘When this
Begins’ you catch refrains of indie-garagerock akin to The Strokes or Franz Ferdinand,
but, without warning, they dissolve back into
the hazy warmth and mellow flow as heard
in ‘Yesterdays.’ In interviews, Galvin claims
he writes from a ‘spark’; days and nights can
whiz by whilst he’s writing, something that’s
both exhilarating and disconcerting. “It’s about
youth, its about fun he exclaims, describing
both himself as Only Real and his debut LP
perfectly accurately.
—Greg McChesney
Castleton brothers, Eoin and Rory Loveless
are part of the two-piece revolution. They’ve
been making dirty grunge rock since 2011
and already have one album behind them,
the self-titled debut released in 2013. Off the
back of this they were nominated, and won,
NME’s award for Best New Band in 2014 and
now, a year later, they are ready to release
their second album, Undertow.
Undertow gets under your skin, into
your brain and makes you feel alive. It’s
got infectiously grizzly guitars and hardhitting fills scattered throughout its eleven
songs and it certainly isn’t something you’ll
forget. Where their debut saw them frantic
and frenzied, Undertow sees them refined
but just as urgent. It is this nurture that will
catapult them to new highs in the coming
year. ‘We Can Do What We Want,’ lead single
from the album, will have you jumping
around to its feral rhythm and songs like
‘Favourite Son’ will get your heart racing and
have you spitting ‘I don’t wanna be fucked,
I just wanna be his, I wanna be loved by
your favourite son’ with as much aggression
as Eoin does. In contrast, ‘The Woods’ and
‘Standing In The Cold’ calm you down and
feel delightfully smooth in their lingering
nature.
Drenge are clever and unique; whilst
overshadowed by the big duos in the game
such as Royal Blood, the Loveless brothers
infuse fresh melodies and engaging lyrics
with a sound that’s reminiscent of the likes of
Joy Divison, Kaiser Chiefs and Nirvana. It’s
being enable to embody such vast elements
of musical history and make them their own
that gives Undertow its edge. It’s pounding,
gnarly, gutsy and it’s what is going to make
you listen to Drenge on repeat.
—Alice Hoddinott
33
YouTuber
YouTub
The
e
Review
IN THE LAST YOUTUBER REVIEW, QUENCH VIDEO GAMES LOOKS AT TWO OF THE MOST UNIQUE
PEOPLE CURRENTLY PLYING THEIR TRADE ON THE INTERNET
Jim Sterling
178K SUBSCRIBERS
If you have a predilection for game
critics with a love of crudeness, vulgarity
and Willem Dafoe, then you'll love Jim
Sterling. Former review editor and
writer of Destructoid and The Escapist,
Sterling left the publications and took to
Patreon to represent himself on his own
website and on YouTube. His channel
revolves around weekly videos called
'The Jimquisition' which discusses
different topics surrounding videogames,
combined with his own brand of twisted
humour. When not showcasing bad
impressions of Gordon Ramsay or David
Cage, he can be found recording his weekly
podcast 'The Podquisition', picking out
"HE HAS BECOME
BEST KNOWN,
AS THE NAME
SUGGESTS,
FOR HIS ANGRY
RANTS"
Steam Greenlight trailers that confound
the mind or making 'Squirty Play' videos
to show us the good and the bad that
Steam has to offer. Sterling also creates
'Saturday Top Tens' in which he orders
lists around whatever takes his fancy; for
example “Top Ten Better Stories Than
Beyond: Two Souls” where the runners
up included Halo and Angry Birds and the
winner was none other than Pepsi Next
because in Jim's words “it's got only 60
calories and that same great Pepsi taste”.
— Liam Padfield
AngryJoeShow
1.9M SUBSCRIBERS
Another one of the big hitters on
YouTube, Angry Joe has been one of the
staples in the rise of new-wave media.
Often regarded as one of the best critics
on YouTube, he has one main prerogative:
reviews. Over the years he has developed
a rather unique style which involves
him standing in front of a green-screen
talking directly to the camera with a
few amateur-dramatics thrown in. He
seems to have found the perfect blend of
entertainment and critical analysis which
is very much welcome as his videos are
often on the greater side of 30 minutes.
He has become best known, as the name
suggests, for his angry rants. Most of
34
the time these manifest themselves in
a review itself but he will sometimes
go off on one in a vlog when something
particularly ticks him off. However these
are not often just mindless shouting and
screaming at the camera. If you listen
carefully, amongst the shouting he makes
some very candid points about the game
which when you think about it are very
fair and reasonable. This is a very rare skill
and one that he seems to possess which
only serves to make his reviews all the
more credible.
— Alex Glazer
VIDEO GAMES
LOOKING BACK A YEAR: THE DEVELOPERS
UBISOFT
Ubisoft have become one of the most significant players in the
game releasing market, but how did they fare over the past year?
being able to start the game again. As per TheAngryJoeShow,
It would be entirely fair to say that it was an up and down year
once you have finished the game then that’s it; you’re done.
for Ubisoft. From utter disappointments to brilliant ideas, the
This was a strange choice to say the least but they also didn’t
company has taken quite a hit to their net reputation. It was a
get the game’s main USP right either; online co-op. The game
year that saw both new and old franchises, but they were met
promoted the idea of you and your friends all driving across
with varied criticism. As the cascade of releases is just around
America in one big group consisting of many different people
the corner, it is time to look back at this industry-leader.
(hence the name of the game). But for some strange reason they
Let’s start with the (relatively) good. Ubisoft had two
limited the group to four people at any one time, which seems
really notable successes last year. Valiant Hearts: The Great War
rather counter-intuitive to the overall aim of the game. Another
was an original IP that was met with much critical acclaim.
disappointment that hasn’t helped Ubisoft’s reputation.
This was arguably the company’s smallest release coming out
Now we turn to the game that everybody has loved to hate:
of its Montpellier branch. This interesting approach to WWI
the franchise that has now joined the likes of FIFA as an annual
was a delightful break from the heavy Triple A titles that we
release, Assassin’s Creed. The year before last Ubisoft treated us
have gotten used to. The other game that Ubisoft can look back
to a fantastic experience with Black Flag and answered the call
on with fondness is Far Cry 4. This is probably the publisher’s
for more ships with making them the
most successful series with perhaps the
centrepiece of the game. Fast-forward
exception of the Assassin’s Creed series.
IT
IS
ALMOST
a year and the series’ first true next-gen
Ubisoft had to get the fourth instalment
entry. AC:Unity certainly looks pretty.
of the series right since any failure would
PAINFUL
TO
WATCH
That cannot be denied. Remember how
have incited a serious backlash from their
I said that we all wanted ships for Black
audience. Thankfully, they got it right as
THE
COMPANY
TRY
Flag and got them? Well, in Unity they’re
the game was met with a good response
gone. Instead, Ubisoft has returned
despite the issues on PC at launch.
AND
FAIL
TO
STRIKE
to the “grass-roots” of the series and
South Park: The Stick of Truth was also a
structured the game around scaling
resounding success but this was only
GOLD
AGAIN
WITH
A
buildings accompanied by a rather
published by Ubisoft as the game was
developed by Obsidian Entertainment.
CHARACTER LIKE THEY stupid story. This was a step back for
this already rather wrung-out series. It
Now we turn to the dark side of
is almost painful to watch the company
Ubisoft’s 2014. The first major release
DID WITH EZIO
try and fail to strike gold again with a
of the year was also supposed to be
character like they did with Ezio back in
their most successful. Watch_Dogs
ACII. The main character is dull and just not very interesting. As
was easily one of the most hyped games in recent memory.
with Watch_Dogs, I don’t care what happens to this character.
It was presented as a graphical masterpiece at E3 2012, but
There is just not the same reason to invest yourself in the story.
of course the promises failed to bear fruit. Watch_Dogs was a
In fact Unity was such a step back that it has been reported that
resounding disappointment, and Ubisoft knows it. The entire
its sister game Rogue for the last-gen consoles is in fact better. If
feeling throughout the game was that it was crying out for a
this is true then Ubisoft has got a lot to do to make up for this
sequel and consequently a new series. The issues with the game
shoddy entrance in their signature franchise.
were plentiful from a dry, empty story to the controversies
Looking forward, it is clear that Ubisoft needs to have a
surrounding the PC release (again). However this was not the
better year in terms of game releases. We can assume that the
only new IP that Ubisoft released that met the same fate as
obligatory Assassin’s Creed will surface at around October time
Watch_Dogs.
and they will really need to get this right as there is unlikely to
The Crew was billed as being the new Need for Speed. It was
be another Far Cry to bail them out this time. What we do know
supposed to challenge the excellent Forza: Horizon series and
is that another beloved franchise will be making its next-gen
the interesting Test Drive: Unlimited games. However, it isn’t.
bow in Rainbow Six: Siege which, as with Far Cry 4, Ubisoft will
Like Watch_Dogs, The Crew failed to deliver on the promises
have to get right since its last generation entries were highly
that it made. The game was reported to play well as a racing
revered. One thing is for certain, everyone related to Ubisoft
game but as an open-world driving game it failed. However,
will be anxiously watching the media over the coming months.
these weren’t the main issues. The biggest problems are centred
—Alex Glazer
around some of the design choices that Ubisoft made - like not
35
EA
They are the biggest name in the industry.
Some see them as the good guys, some as the
bad guys. But how did EA fare with game
releases last year?
Credit: EA
I
n 1982 Trip Hawkins met with Don Valentine to discuss an
idea known at the time as Amazin’ Software. Hawkins left
Apple inc. to start and develop the company that is now
known as EA or Electronic Arts. The origin of this name is due
to Trip Hawkins’ belief that the developers who created these
games were incredible ‘artists’ in their own right. Eventually,
however Trip Hawkins left EA to found a company that later
went defunct.
This is a company that started out to make games that
would surprise and cause an uproar among the market at that
time. Games from EA Sports and from The Sims series continue
to be loved by many fans today. So how is it in these past few
years that this amazing (no pun intended) company has grown
red eyes and horns in the minds of its customers?
It would seem that despite their success this company
has had almost too much success. Over the last six years the
company has been displaying a pattern of laying off large
numbers of its workforce and main studio staff to acquire more
and more small studios and titles. This has resulted in a lot of
development studios having lesser numbers which reflects in
the speed at which some of their games have been developed
and sadly the state of which some of their games have been
released. The mass negative publicity, however, stems more
from the fact that EA is so large a conglomerate that any blame
for certain games that would have been directed at the studios
that created the game, is now locked on in the direction of
EA. They don’t exactly help themselves with how much they
plaster out their publisher name on all their products.
36
During the past two years we have seen both amazing
productions and absolute atrocities coming from the direction
of EA. Games like Dragon Age: Inquisition, EA sport games
such as NHL 15 and The Sims 4 have seen quite a lot of
success and popularity among buyers. There have been some
disappointments in these games but overall the feedback is
positive. Atrocities? Well only one needs to be named: Dungeon
Keeper Mobile. This is a game which was heavily anticipated by
fans of the original and to be able to play it on the fly was a
dream come true. Until said dreams were shattered as they
were met with an idea born out of a corporate monkey who
somehow managed to persuade someone higher up that an in
game purchase system, structured to be the only enjoyable way
to play the game, was a good idea. Now this system has been
used in many games all with terrible results but it’s simply
as if the negative responses are unnoticed. Even with great
games like Inquisition, players met this enormous obstacle in
the multiplayer mode. Instead of an enjoyable experience with
friends, they were met with a poorly designed model evidently
put in to reel in some extra cash; something we are sure by this
point EA hardly needs more of. The problem that stems from
this is that other companies look at this and believe that this
system is a good idea and incorporate it into their own games,
with a “well if they can do it so can we”. The only ones that
really suffer are us, the consumers.
Now there are many models that
EA could strive to go for if they are so
WE HAVE SEEN
desperate to keep this system in their
games. The ones used by popular games
BOTH AMAZING
such as League of Legends and Guild Wars
2 are impressively successful despite the
PRODUCTIONS
fact that all in game purchases made are
purely cosmetic and do not directly affect
AND ABSOLUTE
gameplay in any way. They are basically
accessories, nice to look at but unnecessary
ATROCITIES
to enjoy the game.
Now we look towards the games of
2015. We know of Battlefield Hardline, a game that will most
likely keep the fans of the series satisfied. As well as the
possibility of bringing in new customers with its change of
pace from the distant war-torn areas to local cities infested
with criminal activity. However the more anticipated titles
we look for, along with the numerous EA sport titles that are
sure to arrive, are Mirror’s Edge and a new Star Wars Battlefront
game. One thing we can say though is that EA will once again
be one of the busiest in game releases gain in 2015.
—Eranan Thirumagan
VIDEO GAMES
Credit: Nintendo @ E3
Credit: www.gamestm.co.uk
Credit: psgamer.co.uk
A
made the original Wii and DS the economic powerhouses that
nother year, several flagship franchise releases, a
they are considered today. As far as I’m concerned, if it keeps
relatively understated but fairly forward-thinking E3
the money ticking until a possible new Metroid and Zelda game
conference and continuing brawls (no pun intended)
later this year or in 2016, let’s call the gaps in 2014 that were
with third party publishers. This has been Nintendo’s 2014, but
filled with these titles the “banking” period.
a games developer is judged on the merits of its software and
But despite this scepticism and criticism of the rethus will be the focus of this review of Nintendo in 2014.
hashing of titles, 2014 did see all of these titles draw in huge
So, the elephant in the room: the Wii U’s game release
revenues and they were all huge successes. This re-branding of
line-up, or lack thereof. Now this isn’t to say that the PS4 or
nostalgia has always been Nintendo’s business model, and if
XB1 line ups have been particularly full to the brim with stellar
the core games are fantastic, then why is there a need of a huge
first-party titles, but they’re not having the same issues with
overhaul? This year also saw the release of
third-party publishers like the Wii U has
Captain Toad: Treasure Tracker as a completely
had. But is this not just a case of quality
IP for Nintendo and lesser known games
over quantity? Let’s pick out some examples
RE-BRANDING OF new
like Fantasy Life and Persona got a chance at
of the bigger-name titles that have come
the limelight thanks to the 3DS. Super Smash
straight from the Nintendo Wii U in
NOSTALGIA HAS Bros
Wii U and Mario Kart 8 also drew in the
2014: Super Smash Bros for Wii U, Donkey
highest revenue and review scores for both
Kong Country: Tropical Freeze, Mario Kart
ALWAYS BEEN
the series. The Wii U is starting to come into
8, Hyrule Warriors and Bayonetta 2. All of
its own, especially if they keep announcing
these titles were met with acclaim and can
new games for their characters as they’ve
be regarded as great success for Nintendo.
If you’re wondering where Sonic Boom
BUSINESS MODEL done with Star Fox.
It’s hard to draw a conclusion from
is in the list of “big Nintendo releases”,
all of this, to summarise Nintendo’s
this probably isn’t the article for you. But
2014. I yearn for this console generation to bring something
regardless, it’s hard to argue the figures on how strong the core
new to the table, but I’m just as guilty of buying and hyping
line up has been for this console and as a console that brands
the next new Smash Brothers or Mario game as the next, and
itself as a “bastion” for gamers who want out of the modern
I’m enjoying them. If the bank is showing positives, and the
military shooter regime. This line up seems like just the treat.
games are still of a high quality, is it really Nintendo’s fault
But there’s a very worrying trend that underlies these releases
for staying the course? Despite my inner-critic I’m still as
that I can feel reverberating precariously in the backs of minds
excited as ever to see what 2015 brings for Nintendo fans.
of all Nintendos fans. Where is the originality?
—Ryan Barker
What do we really have in that line up? An eighth
iteration of Mario Kart that doesn’t do much to shake up the
formula. A solid Bayonetta sequel that doesn’t do much to
shake up the formula. A very playable Smash Brothers game that
doesn’t do much to shake up the… And you can see where my
concerns start to truly show themselves. You could argue this
is just the matter of fact for this current console generation, but
at least the PS4 had Infamous: Second Son, the Xbox One with
Sunset Overdrive. I’m hard pressed to think of one game in 2014
that took true advantage of the Wii U’s system capabilities or
the functionality of the dual screen design.
But all is not lost for Nintendo fans and the sceptics
amongst us. Nintendo’s 3DS continued to steamroll from its
stellar line-up in 2013 with its larger screen and second stick
to really bolster the Japanese company’s offerings. We saw
Theatrythym bringing us a musical Final Fantasy offering. A new
Ace Attorney and Professor Layton puzzling game and Bravely
Default and several other titles that made excellent use of the
3DS’s functionalities. And let’s not forget about Pokémon Omega
Ruby and Alpha Sapphire. In all honesty it was still relatively bare
in comparison to 2013, but then again consoles hardly ever see
such a fantastic year for game releases (The fawning for the
2013 3DS line up will stop post-haste).
Both consoles were plagued with some absolutely awful
software consistently throughout the year as well, with various
“party” titles for both the 3DS and Wii U, but we need to be
realistic here; these consoles are meandering to a fractional
hard-core audience but also a much larger casual market that
Credit: IGN
NINTENDO
The biggest company in
gaming has recently become
the third cog in what has
been a largely two-horse race.
But has Nintendo suddenly
begun to matter again?
37
DRAGONBALL
XENOVERSE
Other than Pokémon, Dragonball Z is
probably the most popular anime outside
of Japan. It is known for its over-the-top
action and planet-destroying explosions.
So naturally it is the perfect candidate for
a video game - and there have been many.
Not since the excellent Budokai 3 has there
been a truly great game based on the epic
saga of Goku and his friends, until now.
Coming in with its first true next-gen title is
the most ambitious Dragonball Z game ever
- Dragonball Xenoverse. Nearly all
of the previous titles have taken
the well-known and beloved
story from the anime and told
it in their own way. However,
Xenoverse takes a new approach.
History is changing in the
Dragonball universe and not for
the better; an unknown power is
going back in time to ensure that
the events that took place do
not come to pass. Your job is to
correct this by aiding the famous
characters in the most iconic
moments in the entire series.
The battle against Vegeta, Frieza
destroying planet Namek and the brutal
Cell Games. This is a twist that is very much
welcome since, as fantastic as the original
story is, this version gave the developers
licence to be creative in how the game works
and this has led to the most comprehensive
Dragonball Z video game experience to date.
The most notable addition is the
ability to create your own character. The
nature of the story requires that a new
hero be called to help correct history and
this hero is you. This is the very first thing
the game will ask you to do and the options
are rather extensive. There are five races to
choose from; human, saiyan, namekian,
frieza and majin, all of which have distinct
attributes such as high attack but low health
or low attack but high speed. This means
that each race plays out very differently and
these choices correspond to how they are
portrayed in the anime. The customisation
options, though not at the level as the likes
of Mass Effect or Skyrim, are reasonably
extensive with the ability to choose from presets for your face, height, hair etc. The real
customisation comes when you actually play
the game and start to gain new abilities and
equipment. There is a vast array of different
the fighting mechanics they used. Often it
didn’t feel like there was much weight behind
the punches or the scaling was wrong with
the weakest character having the chance to
prevail against the strongest in the hands of
a semi-competent player. These issues have,
thankfully, been addressed in Xenoverse. The
game really feels like the fights you saw on
your TV screen. Players go flying across the
arena when they are hit. Beam attacks are
spectacular to watch and deal a hell of a lot
of damage. The power scaling is spot
on meaning that lesser characters
have no chance of beating those
above them. It is fair to say that
this is the best fighter for DBZ yet.
There are a few glaring errors
though. The game has no local co-op,
opting for online only instead. There
is local PvP which is a relief, but this
seems like an odd design choice and
is rather disappointing. It would have
been great for my housemate to have
been able to make his own unique
character and fought alongside me
in the story while sitting on the sofa,
but alas, this was not to be. The other
oversight seems to be the lack of the android
saga in the main story instead skipping
straight to Cell after the end of the Frieza
saga. This is not a major error but for true fans
of the anime, this will be slightly annoying.
Overall the best thing that Xenoverse
gives you is fan service. For fans of the anime
this is a must buy on whatever platform you
own. It is fantastic as a DBZ fan. If you are
someone who is interested in getting into the
series then this is not a bad place to start but
don’t take the story as canon. Even if you are
not interested in DBZ then this is still a very
solid 3D fighter with a lot of replayability
thanks to the character creation. Ultimately
this is worth the £45 price tag (£35 on
PC). The story, while not the longest, can
"IT IS KNOWN FOR ITS
OVER-THE-TOP ACTION
AND PLANET-DESTROYING
EXPLOSIONS. SO
NATURALLY IT IS THE
PERFECT CANDIDATE FOR
A VIDEO GAME."
38
skills that you can learn, ranging from simple
melee attacks to the iconic Kamehameha
wave that popularised the show.
This is also the closest since Budokai
3 that we have come to an open-world
Dragonball Z game. Your main base of
operations is Toki-Toki city which is
essentially a hub world. You can wander
around as your character, talk to NPCs, go
on story missions, start side-quests and
buy stuff at the various shops. It is pretty
basic and has been done countless times
before but the mere fact that it is DBZ
adds that extra je ne sais quoi to the affair.
However, at its core and like all of
its predecessors, this is a fighting game.
Previous entries have been criticised for
be replayed again and again with different
character builds while the ocean of skills
and equipment that can be unlocked gives
that extra incentive to keep on playing.
Reviewed on Xbox
- Alex Glazer
8/10
VIDEO GAMES
E
V O
L
V E
The hunters so often become the hunted. This was what 2K Games would have been hoping to avoid with their newest IP
Turtle Rock is a development studio that has
been perceived as one for the lover of online
multiplayer video games. Despite their
small stature, they possess an impressive
portfolio, including Counterstrike and Left
4 Dead. Now their latest release, Evolve has
joined the fray as a contender for the latest
and greatest in co-operative gaming. Given
Turtle Rock’s reputation, and with Evolve
probably being one of the most anticipated
games of the year, this man against monster
shooter has quickly become one of the most
dividing and contentious major releases in
recent memory due to its keen embracing of
modern DLC-based game design.
However, this is an issue that has
split the opinions of many. It is completely
dependent upon the individual: if you are
a casual gamer who likes to pick up the
controller and put it back down again after
an hour or so or a die-hard single player
campaign lover, then I will straight away
say this game is probably not for you. Like
Left 4 Dead, this game is an asymmetrical
multiplayer game, and as such, each player
is dependent upon the other if they are to
progress and enjoy the game fully. It does
have an AI teammate system, but it barely
shines a light on the experience you can
have with a team working with you. It is
strongly advisable that a headset is used if
you want to effectively communicate and
work as a team.
The objective of co-operative shooters
such as this is simple: in this case there are
hunters working together to take down one
monster. Each hunter class is as distinctive
from each other as the last, with each one
having a progression system. There are
four classes; assault, medic, trapper and
support. Each class has three levels, in total
providing you with 12 individual hunters to
choose from should you level up fully. It is
a basic but sometimes arbitrary system to
lengthen the experience much like Call of
Duty’s prestige system. However, it does
give you an incentive to persevere and try
out each of the different classes. Personally,
while assault class is fun, being a trapper
does give you access to your own little beast
by the name of Daisy, who assists you like
a bloodhound when pursuing the monster
of the day. Overall it is a great system that
is different because it is not simply a skinunlock, like Gears of War. Each individual
has their own weapons and dialogue
and changes the dynamic of your group
completely.
upon stealth, and is apparently female.
There is a fourth monster on the way (for
free apparently) in DLC coming soon, which
the studio decided to let the fans name.
The beast will be known as Behemoth and
for a very good reason as apparently it will
be the biggest and most ferocious of all the
monsters. Assuming control of the monster
is a little tedious as the third person
experience makes it hard to see and at times
the myriad of gunfire and tomfoolery on
the screen will leave you a little stunned.
The goal of the beast is simply to get a head
start, eat as much as you can, and level up
three times to your potential. This makes
the confrontation between you and your
assumed predators all
the more interesting.
I personally like
it, but more for what
it is trying to do than
"IT DOES HAVE HAVE AN AI
TEAMMATE SYSTEM, BUT IT BARELY
SHINES A LIGHT ON THE EXPERIENCE
YOU CAN HAVE WITH A TEAM."
what is there right now. You will almost
certainly need a headset, a group of friends
who are all buying the game and planning
on playing it with you, or at least a friendly
yet competitive demeanour to go online and
join up with people who you do not know
and are able to communicate well with. At
the bare bones of it, this is what community
online gaming is about: communication. If
you can do that you will enjoy the battles,
and weapons and glorious aesthetic of
Evolve. If you are a lone wolf and like to do
your own thing, then I suggest you stick
with Assassin’s Creed or wait for the glorious
release of Arkham Knight in June.
Reviewed on Xbox
- Ian Dunne
7/10
The choice of monsters, and control
of the monster in game however, is where
the game falls frustratingly short. You have
to play as the first monster and unlock the
other two after a few brief stints of levelling
up, and yes, there are only three monsters
to choose from! First there is Goliath, who
is a bruiser of sorts and as you might expect
from the name, tends to Hulk-smash the
shit out of things but also spits fire. Then
there is the Kraken, which is more of a
long-ranged Thor-like monster that attacks
with electricity and lays mines everywhere
and anywhere. Finally the Wraith, which
is the Sam Fisher of the group and relies
39
INTERVIEW
BEYOND CLUELESS
CHARLIE LYNE
It’s enough to make you cry angsty teen tears over your lack of
life achievement. At the age of just 23, Charlie Lyne is editor
of UK film blog Ultra Culture, home entertainment columnist
for The Guardian and a contributor for the BBC’s The Film
Programme. Last year saw the release of his debut film Beyond
Clueless, a film documenting every teen movie hit and miss
from Clueless to Mean Girls. Yes that’s right, these films are
worthy of academic criticism now, so watching them doesn’t
even count as procrastination! Film & TV had a chat with
Charlie to see why this genre is one worth looking back on.
What is Beyond Clueless?
It’s an essay film about teen movies, so it’s something
that attempts to critique the world of teen movies
using teen movies themselves. I hope it feels like
a love letter but also an analysis of the genre.
We definitely got the vibe that teen movies are a
passion of yours.
I think they’d have to be otherwise I would have gone slightly
insane!
Well the man I sat next to was laughing slightly
insanely but the less said about that the better…
I promise you that wasn’t me!
So, what is it about the teen movie genre that allows
its continued popularity today?
When a teen movie works, it will always have a place
in the landscape of cinema because there will always
be teenagers. When movies come out that appeal to
them, those movies will always be appreciated. These
movies tend to come in waves, so when there is a lack
of new films around people tend to look back at older
teen movies. These films connect with each successive
generation and stay close to those teenagers as they
grow up. The films of my adolescence still feel incredibly
meaningful to me today and they always will if they catch
you at that right time when you’re most impressionable.
Do you think it’s interesting that British teens find
these movies so relatable despite the majority of
them being set in American high schools?
I have an American half-sister, and even though that world
is cosmetically modelled on the American experience, it still
probably seems like an alternate universe to her just as it
does to us. It’s still so heightened and bizarre; it follows its
own rules. The importance of each film lies in its emotional
resonance and whether that is true to life. That is what you are
looking for more than a character that matches you exactly.
Do you think there was a heyday for the teen movie?
I’m always hesitant to say that because I think each
generation thinks their own generation of teen movies
was the best one. So obviously I feel the most passionate
about the ones that I grew up with! The one thing that
is nice about the era that we look at in the film itself
[1995-2004], is that this was the time when teen movies
really broadened out as a genre. In the 80s for example,
teen movies were ruled over by a small number of people
- John Hughes, the brat pack etc. What you see in the
90s is an incredible amount of diversification - to me
this feels fitting for a genre that is mean to appeal to
teenagers who themselves are such a disparate group.
In an article about Beyond Clueless for The
Independent, you wrote that teenagers are able to
appreciate this genre because they are less likely to
impose filters on what they are seeing. Do you think
it is important that we develop these disapproving
filters in adult life or are they a hindrance?
I don’t know; it’s inevitable for sure. But one of the things
that the process of making the film has taught me to do
is not to switch off the second I sense that a movie isn’t
great. One of my favourite things to do now is to persevere
with a film even when I sense that it isn’t great, and look
for one element that is really original or interesting or
provocative for whatever reason and not worry so much
about whether the film is wholly good or interesting. That
is an immensely valuable thing to learn as it opens you
up to such a wide array of movies and not just the tiny
few that have been critically ordained as perfect films.
Do you think this film is an attempt at rationalising
the teen emotional charge for an adult audience?
It’s a bit of everything really, it is certainly impossible to
disconnect these movies from their audience. Watching
the films for me as an adult is very much like watching
40
my teenage self. Where the emotion of those films is most
resonant is because they remind me of my own emotions
at 14/15. There is a certain amount of rationalising in
that I felt like I was performing therapy on myself by rewatching these films and trying to make sense of them,
but equally, I think there is always that sense of real power
to these films that make them very hard to rationalise.
The raw emotion of that world is hard to put into words
but by making Beyond Clueless in this way, we didn’t have
to - instead we could translate it and show it on screen.
Faruiza Balk performed the narration for Beyond
Clueless.
Her
characteristically
adolescent
cynical narration draws attention to the fact
that in many of these films, the female character
is made to sacrifice her individuality in order
to be popular/get the guy. Do you think this
suggests that teen movies are gendered at all?
I’d be hesitant to make any big generalisations because it is
such a broad genre, but there are many movies that are very
progressive, and have really interesting takes on gender Faruiza was in many of them, not least The Craft. But at
the same time, those prejudices have always been a part
of the teen movie and still are today. Major problems with
gender, sexuality and especially race are hard to get away
from in this genre. The fact that these movies are so similar
and visually and aesthetically occupy the same space makes
it easy to start thinking of them as one film. Ginger Snaps
is a brilliant feminist piece of work, and it’s enlivening to
watch. I would go straight from watching that to something
like The Girl Next Door, expecting it to be as progressive
and obviously it’s not, so it’s quite disheartening. One of
the nicest things about working with Faruiza is that she
strikes the perfect balance between insider and outsider. It
is clear that she is an insider, our guide through that world,
but the cynicism and skepticism in her tone is so potent.
“The films of my adolescence
still feel incredibly meaningful
to me today and they always
will if they catch you at that
right time when you’re most
impressionable.”
What do you think the future holds for teen movies?
It’s something that I always think is hard for me to say
because I am no longer a teenager! To guess whether
teen movies are working for the current generation is
hard. They do seem to be on the up again and there are
movies coming out now that are definitely working for
that audience. I don’t think The Fault in Our Stars was a film
that was seen by a lot of people over 19 and yet it made
a third of a billion dollars at the box office. Something
like that is as clear a sign as you are going to get that teen
movies are finding their feet again. To me that movie
was baffling and awful but that’s probably ideal in that
it’s not for me and if I’m getting confused and angry
about it that’s probably the best sign you could look for!
Beyond Clueless is out on iTunes from March 9th
FILM & T V
TOP
N
E
T E MOVIES
With the release of the docu-essay Beyond Clueless; we give our verdict on the best teen movies that
The Breakfast Club
have inspired a generation.
The Breakfast Club is the John Hughes movie that everyone
has heard of: the story about ‘the princess’, ‘the brain’, ‘the
athlete’, ‘the basket case’ and ‘the criminal’ all locked up in
Saturday detention together. Often seen as one of the best
teen movies by critics, and perhaps the most iconic, The
Breakfast Club deals with cliques and stereotypes as all five
teens come to realise how complex they all are. It had a huge
influence on the horde of teen movies that followed, and
is so funny and clever that it’s definitely worth watching.
Mean Girls
It’s probably quite likely that no one under 30 has
gone a week without hearing a Mean Girls quote in
the past decade, thanks to Tina Fey’s hilarious and
memorable screenplay. Love it or hate it, Mean Girls is
the teen movie of the millennial generation. Inspired
by a non-fiction book about teenage girls and their
cliques, Mean Girls follows a previously home-schooled
Lindsay Lohan as she tries to navigate the difficult rules
of ‘Girl World’ in an American high school. A mustwatch, if only to finally understand the references
most teens and twenty-somethings inevitably make.
Cruel Intentions
Following the trend of nineties teen movies based on
literary works, Cruel Intentions is loosely based on French
novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses, and centres around Sarah
Michelle Gellar and Ryan Phillipe as manipulative, slightly
incestuous and very wealthy step siblings, Kathryn
and Sebastian. Sebastian sets out to seduce committed
virgin Annette (Reese Witherspoon) to win a bet, whilst
Kathryn is determined to ruin her ex’s new relationship.
From death to drugs, it’s unusually dark and dramatic,
so if you’re after something a little less cheesy than the
average teen movie then Cruel Intentions is perfect for you.
Submarine
If American teen movies aren’t for you, Submarine is worth
a watch. Far from the glamour of American rich kids,
Submarine is set in 1980’s Swansea and is all about 15 year
old Oliver’s search for his identity. Oliver narrates the movie
with so much self-awareness that it avoids being too cheesy
or cliché, and director Richard Ayoade gives it a quirky,
clever style with flashbacks and dreams that makes it very
different from the rest of the genre. Everything about this
film is very British, including the humour, which avoids
the heavy-handedness of a lot of American counterparts.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist
Based on the book by YA writers David Levithan and
Rachel Cohn, Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist follows
Nick (Michael Cera) and Norah (Kat Dennings) over one
night in New York as they meet, befriend each other and
search for Norah’s drunk best friend and their favourite
band’s secret gig. Nick and Norah is a heartfelt rom-com
that doesn’t patronise its audience, and with a great
soundtrack and a very relatable premise (I’m sure the
drama that drunk friends can cause on nights out is
familiar to a lot of us) it’s a thoroughly enjoyable teen film.
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Another movie by John Hughes, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off isn’t
quite as iconic as The Breakfast Club, but it definitely is just
as funny. It follows Ferris as he skips school and brings his
girlfriend and best friend along with him for one last hurrah
before graduation. He drags them for a day of mischief around
Chicago whilst trying to avoid his high school principal,
his suspicious sister and his oblivious, naïve parents. The
smart screenplay and excellent cast make this a charming
classic all about seizing the day and breaking the rules.
Clueless
Set in writer/director Amy Heckerling’s fantasy of a Beverly
Hills high school and based on Jane Austen’s w, Clueless
follows popular girl Cher and her hobby of matchmaking
and interfering in her friends’ lives. Between matchmaking
teachers to earn better grades and transforming ‘clueless’
new girl Tai, Cher encounters many mishaps including a
mugging, her terrible driving and an inability to correctly
pronounce the word ‘Haitian’. Whilst Clueless is definitely
as cheesy as teen movies come, it’s fun, incredibly quotable
and is quickly becoming a classic teenage rom-com.
10 Things I Hate About You
In this clever retelling of The Taming of the Shrew, the new
kid, Cameron, has to get someone to date hostile outcast
Kat, so he can date her sister. He seems to succeed with
mysterious outsider Patrick, but it is all a little more
complicated than he planned. 10 Things has a brilliant
cast including Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger and an adorably
baby faced Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and the dialogue is witty
without ever ruining more genuine, heartfelt moments.
—Emma Tranter
41
DUDES IN
DISTRESS:
CHANGING
GENDER
REPRESENTATION
With several recent
releases detailing the lives
of fairytale princesses;
Quench Film and TV
explore whether female
representation is changing
in film.
It is impossible to discuss gender representation without
discussing arguably the hottest topic of the 21st century:
feminism. The negative connotations surrounding the
term ‘feminist’ may encourage you to throw this magazine
on the floor and never look back, so I would like to
clarify from the onset that by ‘feminist’ I am referring
to someone who believes in the equality of the sexes.
Discussion of the female gender has become
almost synonymous with the overall discussion of gender
representation in contemporary media. This is because the
previously singular representation of women in film has
increased to a variety of different roles. They are increasingly
in control of the part they play in the narrative, and almost
control their sexualisation in a way they did not before.
Similarly male representation has altered, as men are
given the opportunity to subvert the complete masculinity
they were previously forced to adopt. It is becoming more
acceptable for actors to play the role of a doting father and
42
husband, without their sexuality coming into question.
Disney films are arguably the most obvious kind of
film associated with gender representation. The stereotypical
view of females in Disney films has come under copious
amount of criticism, forcing them to adapt their characters.
Disney has begun to stray from the overtly feminine
and vulnerable presentation of women, instead using
contemporary notions of womanhood today to create more
realistic characters. Frozen epitomises this change. The
film openly contradicts everything that it has previously
endeavoured to represent, with Elsa and Anna saving each
other, as opposed to relying on ‘true love’s kiss’ from a man
they have just met. The male characters are similarly forced
to adapt in response to their female counterparts. Disney
cast Hans in the villain role, to promote the idea that not
everyone is who they appear to be. After the unrealistic
representation of happily-ever-afters and princes in previous
Disney films, this implicit message is used as a warning to
all the little girls running around in Cinderella and Snow
White costumes and looking for their Prince Charming.
However, fairytales are so ingrained in society that
it is almost impossible to disregard them entirely. The
release of films such as Into the Woods and the upcoming
live-action remake of Cinderella signify this impossibility,
but the message they promote has changed. Society has
matured in the sense that it does not look to fairy tales for
answers. Instead they are watched and enjoyed because
they are prevalent in the majority of childhoods. Personally
I do not believe in fairytale stereotypes, because they only
provide a pleasant escape from the mundane normalities of
everyday life. I grew up watching the animated Disney version
of Cinderella, and it is safe to say that I have not based my
entire life’s beliefs on the storyline. Into the Woods makes
for an interesting watch as it seems to subvert fairytale
stereotypes, while also representing them. In an absurd twist
of the tales the baker’s wife cheats on her husband with the
prince, and meets her end soon after (a coincidence we think
not). In contrast, the prince and Cinderella decide to call it
quits on their marriage and go their separate ways (no death
for the Prince here). Not only is Into the Woods a dire film,
it reinforces the idea that women face many more troubles
than their male counterparts to get their ‘happily ever after’.
Alfred Hitchcock’s films typify past gender
FILM & T V
between actor and character. The media is now delving
further and further into the personal lives of the film
industry, and it is becoming difficult to disassociate the
real lives of people and the characters that they play.
Emma Watson’s speech at the UN highlights this: “You
might think: who is this ‘Harry Potter’ girl? What is
she doing at the UN?”. This lack of differentiation that
Watson has faced signifies that society has a long way to
go in the fight for equality on screen. That being said, it is
unfair to expect representations to change overnight. It
is important to remember that films are part of a moneymaking industry, and so must follow society’s trends.
Nonetheless, women are becoming increasingly prevalent
in films, enabling a multitude of representations to emerge
from the previously singular overtly feminine woman.
— Amandeep Turna
representations. Women are presented as weak and
useless, and often do not drive the plot in the way a male
lead is able to. They exist purely as objects of desire, as
something for male characters to fawn over. They are largely
overshadowed by men, a factor which is a reflection upon
patriarchal society. However, they soon began to challenge
their typical ‘housewife’ status. The USA dominated the
film industry, and was slightly ahead of the UK in terms of
gender equality. Films fought to keep up with the changing
position of women, with female characters increasing
their own control over how they were percieved. ‘Bond
girls’ have become a symbol of not just self-sexualised
characters, but capable ones with their own power; adding
to the transformation of gender. Women have seized the
opportunity to outmanoeuvre men and run with it! They
are cast as more capable characters, and are allowed to
be more than the simpering damsel in distress. They are
increasingly present in leading roles due to characters such
as Ellen Ripley and Lara Croft, who have paved the way for
the powerful female in cinema. However, women are still
incredibly outnumbered by men. In the 2015 Oscars, all of
the nominees for Best Picture consisted of male leads. It
seems as though every step forward for females in cinema
is followed by two steps forward for men. It is important
to remember that the film industry is based on making
money; they produce films which will sell, and for women
to match men they must become equally as popular.
Female characters are only given a voice after
they have proved themselves worthy of one. In The Dark
Knight Rises, Catwoman primarily opposes Batman’s
male dominance, and asserts her own form of power.
However, while doing so she similarly opposes the law
and justice, and so is punished by being forced to conform
to patriarchal power. This lack of power is prevalent in
many superhero films; X-Men, Fantastic Four and Avengers:
Assemble all feature a female lead, but compared to the
much wider variety of male heroes, they are deemed almost
insignificant. However, this negative representation of
gender can be ascribed to the comic books that these films
are based on. They were published during the early 1960’s,
and therefore include archetypal female characters, because
gender equality was only just starting to be taken seriously.
The opportunities for women in film increased, creating a
multitude of roles. Double Jeopardy features a powerful
woman who is able to outmanoeuvre her husband, after
he has her wrongly jailed for his murder. Her success
at the end of the film highlights the rise of female
dominance, but is undercut through the help she receives
from a man. Women are unable to assert their power
without help from the supposed superior male gender.
More recently, Amy Dunne in Gone Girl is an example
of a woman who uses the power she has to manipulate the
lives of those surrounding her. If you haven’t seen the film
then, again, I suggest you skip this paragraph and watch it
right now. Rosamund Pike plays the role of the psycho to
“Women have
seized the
opportunity to
outmanoeuvre men
and run with it!”
SPOILER ALERT: We
couldn’t discuss such
a hefty issue without
revealing some plot
twists/endings, turn the
pagew if you have yet
to see Frozen, Into the
Woods or Gone Girl.
perfection; her character successfully outwits the male lead,
but her dominance is warped by the sympathy we feel
for her husband Nick. Amy becomes isolated from
the audience due to her mental instability, and so
we are forced to direct our sympathy towards
the male protagonist. There is no denying
that Gone Girl is a superb film, but it
raises many questions surrounding
gender representations. Is it only
possible for a film to succeed
when women are either
marginalised or hated?
Personally, I believe
that it is becoming
increasingly difficult
to answer this
question due to
the blurred
boundary
43
GENRE IN REVIEW
R
E
L
L
I
R
H
T
As we hit the penultimate entry in our
review series, we explore the Thriller genre.
The thriller genre is centred on two prime factors,
suspense and intrigue. The chain of events leading up to a
climax revolves completely around these factors, feeding
the curiosity and anticipation of any viewer. Throughout
the history of the thriller, there have been many
filmmakers who have pioneered their own sub genres.
Hitchcock is indeed the father of the psychological
thriller; however, through the different ages of film much like the genre - it has undergone significant tweaks
and adjustments regarding its mechanics. Often in a
thriller, the protagonist faces an issue, or mystery, usually
in the form of a crime or misdemeanour of some kind.
The upset of the equilibrium is then addressed through a
series of events that present the protagonist with difficult
choices, dangerous situations and antagonists of equal or
superior capability. The events within a thriller will aim
to provide the audience with a sense of tension and when
successful, can cause the audience to feel as if they are in
the midst of the action..
You can still see
traditional
elements
within sub-genres,
44
which revolve around the mystery of the antagonist, who
usually has a motive of revenge or destruction, and whose
identity is either fully obscured or merely hinted at until
the climax of the film. The thriller is, however, the one
genre that continues to appeal to mainstream audiences
very successfully, and this is due in part to the endless
variety offered by the genre. The list is easy to ream
off; action thriller, sci-fi thriller, psychological thriller,
crime thriller, horror thriller, noir thriller. The soul of
a thriller film is still however, suspense and intrigue.
Thriller films usually have their own unique mise-enscene dependent upon the director or cinematographer,
and the way a film is shot, lit and located help to establish
the theme for the audience. Watching films by Michael
Mann, you can observe his distinct use of colour and
camera effects. Mann’s tendency is to lean toward a colour
spectrum that is tinted with a shade of blue, to evoke the
coldness of the atmosphere, adding a chilling edge to his
work. This is exemplified perfectly in Heat and Collateral,
which are both classified within the sub-genre of crime
thriller. The way both films are shot is typical of not just
Mann, but typical of a
classic crime thriller. Shots include close-ups on the faces
of the main characters, fast-paced editing and sound,
and also a great focus on scenery, like the cityscape of
Los Angeles observable in the two films mentioned.
The basic plot within crime thrillers tends to
revolve around the classic ‘cops and robbers’ motif, but
it can be a little more complex. The production team
behind The Usual Suspects changed the way crime thrillers
were perceived through their clever manipulation of
chronology, and certainly evoked a sense of mystery as
the “whodunnit” theme was concurrent throughout. Who
is Keyser Soze? No one knows. He is a legend, a myth, a
story, but one thing is certain, he is real, and the idea of
him is far more potent that the realisation of him. The web
of interconnecting events that unfold during the climax
of the film lead the viewer down the path of recollection
and double-taking, so that we are completely shocked
at the climatic revelation of the antagonist’s identity,
and chilled by a horrible truth; the bad guys can win.
FILM & T V
Thrillers can become complicated if too
much is going on. There has to be a structure in
place to maintain order and keep the viewer ‘in
the room’. If there is too much, or too little going
on, interest will be lost. Memento is a neo-noirpsychological thriller that will certainly lose you
if you don’t pay full attention. It is presented as
two different sequences of scenes interwoven
throughout the film: a series in black-and-white
that is shown chronologically, and a series
of colour sequences shown in reverse order
(simulating for the audience the mental state
of the protagonist, who suffers from short
term memory loss). Though the film has two
narratives that are shot and edited differently,
they meet neatly and cohesively to explain the
events of the film at its end. I admit I did not
see the end coming, and did have to watch the
film a second time to wrap my head around it,
however it was the first time for a while that
I was so gripped by a film, let alone a thriller.
The Dark Knight Trilogy was a realistic take
on the action/superhero genre, and The Prestige
and Inception showcased director Christopher
Nolan’s talents in the science fiction thriller area.
Scream was a game changer. It
revolutionised the stalker/slasher genre by
becoming the first horror thriller film that killed
off a hollywood star (Drew Barrymore) in the first
ten minutes. Barrymore personally requested
her role, her mentality being that if she could die
in the first ten minutes, then anyone could. It
has since inspired an unconventional approach
to scriptwriting within film and television that
spawned shows like 24 and Game of Thrones
where many main characters and key names
“Who is Keyser Soze? No one
knows. He is a legend, a myth, a
story, but one thing is certain, he is
real, and the idea of him was far
more potent that the realisation of
him.”
were killed early on. It added a further element
of suspense that has since become monotonously
formulaic, but when directors first started
adopting this trend, it heightened the intrigue
and increased the credibility of the thriller genre.
Ultimately, thrillers are cerebral and aim to
make the viewer think. It is not always what is on
the screen, but rather what is not.The question of
“what happens next?” should
always be ringing through
the mind of anyone
watching a thriller. It
is the cornerstone
of the genre. It
is the question
that
feeds
the suspense
and
curiosity
of an individual, and only through watching
thrillers and enjoying them can that
suspense be gratified and curiosity sated.
— Ian Dunne
45
MULTICULTURAL
TELEVISION
With the ever changing landscape that is our society; television has
long been the place to see yourself represented. Here we chart the
movement of the multicultural TV
In 1977, the American Broadcasting Association (ABC)
started broadcasting Roots, a twelve-hour miniseries
that aired for eight consecutive nights. What was remarkable about this series was that it was led by a
predominantly African-American cast, and that its
plot was based on a book by author Alex Haley which
told the story of Kunta Kinte, an African teen who was
brought to America to be sold as a slave, as well as the
other generations of his family. Despite initial fears
amongst network executives that such a programme
would be a disaster for ratings, the programme
ended up becoming the highest rated entertainment programme ever shown in America at the time.
46
Apart from adding to discussions on American race
relations, the landmark success of Roots was also
revolutionary in defying industry conventions about
‘black-oriented programming’, as executives had not
expected that a show that starred predominantly black
actors as heroes would gain such high viewing figures. Today, Roots is still commonly regarded by many
in the entertainment industry as a turning point for
the representation of black people in American TV.
Roots paved the way for the relative increase
in black-led casts on American television, as can
be seen in NBC’s landmark The Cosby Show in the
1980s; centred on a successful, middle class black
family, or the 1990s’ iconic The Fresh Prince of BelAir. Both of these programmes were remarkable for
portraying black characters as more than clowns
for comedic value, or solely in service positions such
as waiters or housemaids, as was common before.
Fast-forward to the TV we watch today (though I
am still partial to an old episode of Fresh Prince from time
of time), and we can see that TV has come a long way
from the days of black performers relegated to minstrel
or maid roles. Thanks to bold and brilliant minds such
as screenwriter-director-producer-behemoth Shonda
Rhimes, the woman behind Grey’s Anatomy, we are now
able to see black actors and actresses performing in rich,
multi-faceted, strong roles such as Scandal’s Olivia Pope
and How to Get Away with Murder’s Annalise Keating.
There has also been a rise in Asian-led casts,
exemplified by Fresh Off the Boat, a new American
sitcom based on the memoir of prominent AsianAmerican food personality Eddie Huang. The comedy series, set in the mid-1990s in Orlando, features
a Taiwanese-American family who has recently moved
into an exclusively white community, and details the
struggles of the family to fit in. The sitcom was said
FILM & T V
“The fact that such
characters are viewed
as progressive speaks
volumes about how
much there is left to
do about the issue of
racial representation in
television.”
to be the first television series centred on an Asian
family since Margaret Cho’s ill-fated All-American Girl
in 1994, which was cancelled after only one season
due to poor critical reception and audience ratings.
Another popular series featuring an Asian actor in a lead role is The Mindy Project a well-loved
American romantic comedy series created by Mindy
Kaling, an Indian American, who also plays the titular character Mindy Lahiri. The show, which premiered
in 2012, follows the confident and comedic Mindy’s
attempts to balance her professional and personal
life as she works as an obstetrician/gynaecologist in
a small medical practice in New York City with her
quirky co-workers, and has been well-received and
praised for Kaling’s performance and writing, as well
as the unique and likeable character of Mindy Lahiri.
Before this there was Grey’s Anatomy’s Christina Yang. The character, portrayed by Asian American actress Sandra Oh, was a confident, ambitious,
fiercely intelligent surgeon and an irreplaceable part
of the series for 10 seasons. In 2009, when asked
why she decided to take on the role, Oh said, “I’m
very proud of this show and I think it came along at
the right time for me. It’s a changing time on television because five or ten years ago you wouldn’t have
a major network show where half of the cast were
not white.” showing the progress that has undergone
in the representation of minority races in television.
However, although there has been an increased
presence of Asian actors in television, their portrayals, especially that of Asian males, leave much to be
desired. For instance, 2 Broke Girls’ Han Lee is the
Korean-American owner of the diner in which much
of the series is set in, is portrayed as short, emasculated, and failing to assimilate into American culture,
with a strong, somewhat Asian accent, often becoming
the butt of jokes on the series. The Big Bang Theory’s
Rajesh Koothrapalli is another such character. The
character has a thick accent, crippling lack of confidence around women, and has to face an attempt by
his parents to force him into an arranged marriage.
A common trait between these two characters is that
they play into common stereotypes of the Asian male
as emasculated, socially awkward and weak, often to
comedic effect. While the increased presence of Asian
males is a sign of progress in diversity in television,
such exaggerated portrayals of the Asian could be said
to stem from imperialism. The fact that such characters are viewed as progressive speaks volumes about
how much there is left to do about the issue of racial
representation in television. The non-verbal message
to Asian males seems to be this: “just be glad you are
represented on TV, even if it’s in an inaccurate manner that reduces you to mere caricatures and clowns to
entertain the masses and stems from imperialism – at
least you’re not invisible anymore! Yay for progress!”
If this piece seems to be rather America-centric
so far, this is because British TV still suffers from
a comparative lack of diversity in lead characters, a
fact bemoaned in 2014 by David Harewood, a starring black actor in American series Homeland in an
article for The Guardian. Harewood wrote, “Somehow
and for some reason BAME (Black and Mixed Ethnicity) actors have not been cast in such central and
leading parts in British television. In fact, I can only
recall five shows in my lifetime with a BAME lead actor in British TV and that includes Luther and Hustle.” This sentiment is highlighted by the fact that
several black British actors have only found fame
after moving to America, such as Without a Trace’s
Marianna Jean-Baptise and The Wire’s Idris Elba.
Furthermore, in recent years, an overwhelming
majority of actors who have found success in British
TV and become household names, such as Benedict
Cumberbatch, Dominic West and David Tennant,
have all been white actors. British actor Treva Etienne, himself the son of a bus driver, attributes this
partly to a lack of opportunities available for young
people, saying, “Acting should not just work for one
class of kids. It should work for all kids.” However,
Etienne also acknowledged that the greater opportunities in American TV could also be a reflection of
the size of the industry and hence the willingness of
networks to try new ideas. This, however, should not
be an excuse for the lack of diversity in British television, as it will only lead to greater domination of
American TV over British TV, should producers refuse
of take risks and depart from the safe and familiar.
Perhaps the hope for minority race representations
on television can be best summed up in this quote
from Harewood: “I hope in 40 years, when a black kid
sits channel-surfing in the UK and stumbles across
UKTV Drama, he’ll stop for a minute and watch British lawyers, lovers, heroes and champions who look
and sound just like he does. Hopefully, I won’t be
asked to write these articles any more because there
won’t be any need for them.” The same could be said
for Asian viewers and actors. Harewood’s hope raises
the all-too-common concern regarding the lack of diversity in television on young viewers in particular,
as the absence of visible, authentic role models on
television for young viewers of minority races could
lead issues of confusion and self-esteem, as entire
groups of youths in society are made to feel invisible.
To end on a lighter note, according to research done by Alyssa Rosenberg of ThinkProgress,
in American primetime network TV, the number of
robots and magical creatures seen is roughly equal
to the combined number of Asian and Latino men
represented, a finding that should also serve as a reminder that claims of ‘authenticity’ should not stand
in this debate – if even robots and magical creatures can be represented, why not minority races?
— Zenn Wong
47
QUENCH FOOD EVENING:
APPLE JACKS
This month the Quench team headed to one of the cities latest dining hot-spots, Apple Jacks: American Diner Deluxe.
Promising to offer some of the best US dishes this side of the Atlantic, all creatively infused with a gastronomic twist, there
was no doubt that The States had to be the next stop on our gourmet exploration. So grab your cowboy boots, don the stars
and stripes and get ready to loosen your belt; here’s what we thought…
I’d been dying to visit Apple Jacks since the new city centre eatery opened
its doors at the end of last year, and what better way to enjoy it than with
a Quench shaped hole in the bill.
Spying a few sly pics on Instagram and snippets of the menu online,
the American-gastro fusion menu was beyond tempting. Incorporating all
the best bits of state-side dining, such as fully loaded burgers and breakfast
taccos, along with the creativity and sophistication of gastronomy, it
looked like the food here was going to be a winner.
Taking a seat in the sleek and stylish restaurant, the owners had
done a top job of picking the finest parts of the US dining scene. With
comfy booths and a quirky yet sophisticated interior, Apple Jacks
has definitely created a character of its own and a great space to enjoy
impromptu drinks as well as a more formal meal.
Still making a name for itself, the restaurant was pretty quiet when
we visited so the service was quick and attentive, and before no time
my dish of dreams was in front of me, just waiting to be devoured. Now,
I’ll admit it, I have a sweet tooth, and yes, I can be known to skip mains
48
altogether and go straight from starter to dessert, so when I spotted the
duck with waffles on the menu there were no two ways about it.
This was main and dessert all in one and boy was it good. Let’s start
from the bottom up; a thick but fluffy American waffle set up base camp,
drizzled with a delightfully sweet orange, maple butter. Topping the waffle
was a crispy confit duck leg; the meat, deliciously succulent and melt in
the mouth, complemented wonderfully by the subtle hints of orange
in the sauce. Two crispy rashers of bacon blanketed the duck, adding a
salty juxtaposition to the sweetness of the other components. And to top
it off? A poached egg of course. Slightly misfitting with the rest of the
dish if I’m honest, but beautifully cooked all the same. It may be hard
to believe, but the meal came together beautifully. And, unsurprisingly,
I couldn’t quite make dessert, as the hearty portion left me content at
both the savoury and sweet spectrums of my appetite. I’m glad to say my
expectations were well and truly satisfied and I’ll definitely be returning
to tackle the enticing breakfast offerings.
— Kathryn Lewis
FOOD & DRINK
I was spoilt for choice by the menu and spent a
good while trying to choose; unfortunately this
was one of the times that my decision making
let me down. The plate sounded appetising; newMexican pan-fried chicken with a peanut jus,
but it disappointed in flavour and aesthetics,
especially in comparison to my fellow diners
dishes. To be honest it resembled chicken and
chips you could get from your local pub, not
particularly appetising. I had serious food envy
as the burger, duck and scallops that my friends
had ordered looked and tasted great. What
Apple Jack’s lacked in taste was made up in its
friendly and attentive service, and cool, relaxed
atmosphere. I would visit Apple Jack’s again but
definitely avoid the chicken and wholeheartedly
go for one of their massive burgers!
— Elizabeth Jones
“The unmissable table nestled between two halves of a VW camper-van was
particularly charming and definitely a statement feature of the city centre eatery.
I’m not ashamed to admit I even had my photo taken sat inside.”
Having already had a sneaky peek at the menu to
prepare myself for the oncoming feast, it’s safe
to say I was excited for what Apple Jacks had to
offer; and I’m glad to say my expectations were
not disappointed.
From the quirky music to the sleek seating
booths, the American diner atmosphere was set
as soon as we walked in. A lot more open and
spacious than typical diner-esque restaurants,
Apple Jacks have created a welcoming, friendly
and comfortable atmosphere.
But let’s be honest, what we were really
here for was the food. After changing my mind
too many times, and awkwardly turning the
waitress away once again, I finally decided on the
‘House Burger’, and chucked in a mojito for good
measure. Best-decision-ever.
I normally find myself left slightly
disappointed by restaurant’s cocktail offerings,
but I was pleasantly surprised. It’s doubtful that I
would have paid full price for it, but that’s coming
from a student who finds it difficult to pay full
price for anything these days. The burger didn’t
disappoint either, it was incredible. Cooked to
perfection and the ideal portion size to leave me
suitably full, the taste and textures were a real
celebration of flavour.
The only letdown of the evening was
my decision to skip dessert, completely my
own fault. The green-eyed monster came out
alongside the brownie a fellow diner had ordered,
something I will definitely be returning for in
the future. Overall, Apple Jacks is well worth a
recommendation, and needless to say, I will be
visiting again at some point in the near future.
— Amandeep Turner
With a quirky vibe and busy menu, Apple
Jacks certainly appears to have a lot to offer
to its hungry revellers in need of a treat. I was
intrigued to see whether the restaurant could
meet my expectations and was delighted to have
the opportunity to try it out with Quench.
Initially, I liked the restaurant’s décor and
light atmosphere. The unmissable table nestled
between two halves of a VW camper-van was
particularly charming and definitely a statement
feature of the city centre eatery. I’m not ashamed
to admit I even had my photo taken sat inside!
First impressions were definitely good.
Next for the ‘meaty’ bit – the dinner! Being
a Quench Food Evening, I felt I had to push the
boat out and indulge in a sirloin steak. There
was a variety of sauces and sides to accompany
the steaks, which I liked as it meant you could
customise the flavours; I chose sweet potato fries
cooked with chorizo. The steak itself was cooked
how I had asked, medium rare, and the tomatoes
were grilled nicely. However, the steak itself was
very fatty, and the fries, although tasty with the
saltiness of chorizo, were extremely greasy. To
say I was disappointed is fair, yet I did still enjoy
my meal. For the price I paid, I cannot complain;
it was well worth the money. Would I, on the
other hand, pay for the same meal without
the Quench Food Evening discount (£17.95)?
Unfortunately not.
Despite not wanting to return to Apple
Jacks for a steak, I would definitely go back to
try out the burger! Two of my fellow diners had
burgers, which were accompanied with copious
amounts of tasty looking fries and toppings!
The burgers were obviously handmade and were
really delicious (I may have had a sneaky bite).
Overall, my Apple Jacks experience
was a mixed one. The staff were friendly and
very attentive, the layout and décor was very
comfortable and pleasing. For me, it was only
the quality of the steak and the greasiness of the
sweet potato fries that let it down.
— Sophie Hickles
“The only letdown of the evening was my decision to skip dessert, completely
my own fault. The green - eyed monster came out alongside the brownie a
fellow dinner had ordered, something I will definitely be returning for in the
future.”
49
MICRO
BREWERIES
Rebels and Dogs,
Pipes and Brains…
This may sound like a disparate collection of potentially rather
unpleasant experiences, but in fact, it’s a small insight into a
burgeoning band of individuals with some refreshingly genuine
interests at heart. Dafydd Haine explores the impressive,
decisive rise of Cardiff ’s microbreweries and craft beer
In the two years or so since I’ve been living
here, Cardiff seems to have exponentially
increased its appeal as a fresh destination
for taste and flavour. Whether it be
via the slick London-based expansions
arriving almost monthly on the Hayes,
the intriguing pop-ups that offer all
manner of palate-provoking delights, or
the wonderfully numerous independents
embedded across the city, the Welsh
capital awards residents and visitors alike
with a truly fruitful selection to choose
from. Commonly, a core feature of this
superb range of eateries and drinking
dens would appear to be the interest
shown by many of the establishments
to offer something new, high-grade, or
original to its customers. Fortunately, for
the beer fans among us, Cardiff ’s craft
beer/microbrewery scene offers all three.
Although many of the most popular
craft hubs on Westgate St. – affectionately
50
dubbed the ‘Craft Beer Quarter’ by its
aficionados – have only opened in the
past few years or so, there stands one
institution that has been around for a good
while longer. The City Arms pub, that sits
just behind the Westgate strip, is a longtime favourite of Cardiff ’s rugby fans, and
has been around in one form or another
since the 1880’s. Voted the capital’s
‘Pub of the Year’ by CAMRA (Campaign
for Real Ale Association) in 2012, the
City Arms retains not only an extensive
collection of traditional real ales, but also
offers a range of more contemporary craft
beers, many from locals Brains’ nascent
microbrewery - also established in 2012.
If the City Arms is the ancient
- and relatively wise - player on the
independently-brewed scene, around the
corner on Westgate St. sits what could be
considered the adolescent of the group –
Zero Degrees. A member of a small chain
of microbreweries established over a
decade ago, the Cardiff branch is set out
in a minimalistic, brightly-lit fashion, with
the gleaming brewing tanks taking up a
large proportion of the cavernous space.
All beers served are produced on site, and
range from European-style Pilsners to more
adventurous brews such as their Black Ale
or Mango Beer. Similarly, although they do
have as much of a permanent commercial
front as Zero Degrees, another of the
youngsters in Cardiff ’s craft community
can be found in the form of Pipes Brewery,
located in Pontcanna. Set up in 2008, Pipes
create a range of IPA’s, lagers, ales and
pilsners from their base on Kings Rd., and
are stocked not only across various venues
throughout the city, but further afield as
well. Beers can also be bought from their
on-site shop every Saturday between
12.00 and 7.00pm. Evidently then, the
process and distribution of independent-
FOOD & DRINK
primary distributors of the Tiny Rebel
microbrewery based in Newport, whilst
BrewDog Cardiff is one of a number of the
Scottish microbrewery’s expanding chain
of bars ranging from the UK, Sweden and
Italy to Brazil and even Japan. Despite
this growth, the company remain fiercely
proud of their independent and humble
origins, and aim to continue their ethos
by trading with microbreweries across the
world – when the writer visited recently,
they had a large import of Colorado’s
Oskar Blues on offer alongside a range
of other beers, including their signature
Punk IPA and Five AM and Dead Pony ales.
Although not situated amongst the
core collection of bars in the Craft Quarter,
the fledgling – and brilliantly named – The
Gravity Station on Barrack Lane (behind
the St. David’s Centre) also takes a similar
approach and realisation to that of its
Westgate St. counterparts. Linked with
the Waen microbrewery in mid-Wales, it
offers a selection of cask, keg and bottled
beers, from their own range as well from
across the globe, but with an emphasis
on ‘local’ brewers – think Celt, Seren, and
the aforementioned Pipes. Combined with
an intimately communal drinking space
– in the form of a singular, twisting table
top – and the fact they close at 7pm, The
Gravity Station offers a decidedly pleasant
atmosphere in which to share a drink.
Alongside its companions down in the
Craft Quarter and beyond, it’s yet another
welcome addition to the refreshing, unique
community that valuably contributes
to Cardiff ’s beer-drinking experience.
IMAGE CREDIT: SADIA PINEDA HAMEED
brewing is not wholly unknown to Cardiff,
and there are likely many other small
outlets, and even producers, that have
been steadily sharing their creations
over the years. However, since 2013, the
presence of a few new, youthful additions
has bolstered the community, as they
introduced not only a number of exciting
additions in terms of beer, but also a fresh
and tenacious approach to the business of
microbrewing. Shoring up the Westgate
Quarter, Urban Tap House opened in
September 2013, whilst Aberdeenbased innovators BrewDog arrived the
following year. In a sense, both operate
on a similar basis – they are essentially
the front bar of their respective breweries,
but also stock an impressively expansive
range of national and international
craft beers. Urban Tap House are the
... the Welsh capital awards residents and
“ visitors
alike with a truly fruitful selection
to choose from
”
”
51
the rise of
FOOD BLOGGERS
Whether you are looking for some new inspiration to mix things up in the kitchen, or
just enjoy looking through reams of drool-worthy food photos, exploring food blogs
can be a great way to unleash your inner foodie. Ciara Rafter gives us the lowdown
on the interest behind food blogging and some examples of blogs to check out for
yourself.
Food blogs are pretty self-explanatory and have seen a massive
increase in recent years, with more and more people looking online
to get their cooking inspiration. “But what is wrong with a good old
recipe book?” I hear you ask. I, myself, have a whole shelf dedicated
to recipe books. They taught me how to make numerous dishes when
I was a fresher who lacked cooking skills. There are various student
cookbooks on the market and they still prove a popular present for
parents who need reassurance that their children will be able to fend
for themselves. They are great starting points for anyone who hasn’t
got much experience cooking but once you get a feel for cooking and
actually start enjoying it, student cookbooks become too basic and
quite unaffordable.
Food blogs are a marvellous equivalent for foodies who get a
thrill out of finding new ideas that will season their taste-buds and
challenge their cooking skills. They are easily accessible, free of charge
and provide adventurous, creative recipes that may not be found in
cookbooks. Recipe books are often specific and tied down by themes
whereas blogs are free to experiment in terms of culture, story and
the variety of recipes.
One of the greatest aspects of food blogs is that bloggers write
with a personal style, often revealing the inspiration behind their
recipes and anecdotes that add human interest. Through this, their
52
passion and love for cooking becomes established and it is easy to
see how their blogs gain publicity (this is, of course, as well as the
amazing, drool-worthy food they create).
It is impossible to judge which food blog is the best, as it is all
subjective. This is actually the advantage of them - there is one for
everybody. Whether you are interested in food from around the world,
baking or gluten-free, chances are, there is a blog out there for you.
Personally, my go-to-blog is ohmyveggies.com; a vegetarian
food blog with endless flavoursome dishes that well and truly takes
away the stigma of being a veggie - showing that meat is not always
necessary for having a delicious meal. Eatlikeagirl.com is a food
blog with a twist - it combines a love of food with a love of travel.
The blogger’s slogan is “always cooking, eating and on the move” and
she offers a wide range of recipes from different countries, all with an
interesting story to tell.
Food blogs are the place to explore whether you are clueless as to
what to cook, or are in need of some inspiration to cook up something
you have never tried before. So put away the dusty cookbooks and let
food blogs unleash your passion for cooking.
— Ciara Rafter
FOOD & DRINK
After procrastinating to the max and trawling through food blogs all in the name of ‘research’, here is one of our favourite recipes from
eatlikeagirl.com which perfectly illustrates the freedom and creativity that can be had when it comes to food blogging.
piri piri chicken
Bertus says that you should leave this overnight to let the flavours settle, but I would go even
further and say that it tastes better after a couple of days. I used Spanish smoked paprika which is
quite dominant so maybe that is why. The only change that I made is to add a bit of fresh lemon juice
to give it a lift, you could just squeeze some on the chicken when it is finished (which I do also, play it
by ear and season according to your preferences). Thank you Bertus, for sharing this terrific marinade
recipe.
ingredients
Marinade (this makes enough for about 4 – 6
chickens and will keep well in the fridge)
3 hot chillies
60g paprika
6og cayenne pepper
4 red peppers, seeds removed
2 tomatoes, skinned
1 onion
4 cloves garlic, peeled
200ml spirit or white vinegar
100g sugar (I used a light brown sugar)
20g sea salt
the juice of one lemon (pref unwaxed as they are
just better, and not coated with gunk)
1 chicken, spatchcocked (easy to do, or ask your
butcher to do it) – the size depends on how
many you will feed, mine was a small one
the juice of half a lemon (as above)
method
— At least a day before, make your marinade. Toast the paprika and
cayenne in a dry pan over a medium heat for a couple of minutes,
stirring or tossing gently, to ensure it doesn’t burn. In a blender, add
to the remaining ingredients, and blitz until smooth. Leave for at least
a night, covered in the fridge.
— Remove your chicken from the fridge and stick a sharp knife in
it in several places, so that the marinade will soak in. Rub a few
tablespoons of the marinade into the chicken and massage it in.
Leave for at least a couple of hours to marinade, covered in the fridge,
preferably overnight.
— Preheat your oven to 180 deg C. Take the chicken out of the oven a
half an hour before roasting, to bring it to room temperature so that
it roasts evenly. Place in the oven on a shallow tray and leave until
your chicken is almost done* (my small chicken took just under an
hour, so I checked it at 45 minutes), then add a little further marinade,
brushing it on with your pastry brush, gently, so as not to disturb the
piri piri crust that has developed.
— Turn the heat up to 200 deg C and put it back in the oven for 10
minutes (this will crisp the skin and crust a bit).
— Serve with a squeeze of lemon and with a bowl of 1 tbsp marinade
whisked with 3 tbsp of extra virgin olive oil and a pastry brush, so that
you can add more as required.
Check out eatlikeagirl.com for more great stories and recipes.
53
FOODIE
So you’ve decided to go out for a meal on a Saturday
night but you’re stuck on where to go. Do you go back
to that loyal chain restaurant, or try something a little different? Here to make the decision easier, we have pitted
chain restaurants up against independent eateries to see
what there is to be said about both choices.
Just so you know, this article is going
against everything I normally stand
for. One of my favourite pastimes
is exploring the exciting variety of
independent eateries hidden in different
places, but I would be lying if I said I
didn’t appreciate (and enjoy, I hasten
to add) the existence of the evergrowing number of chain restaurants.
Come on, we all have our favourites:
Sloppy Giuseppe from Pizza Express,
anyone? Also, the number of times
‘chicken katsu curry craving’ is uttered
among the general population speaks
for itself. One of the benefits of these
chain restaurants are that you can always
rely on the same meal and taste that
you originally fell in love with (probably
because the meals are pre-prepared and
packaged but hey, a meal is a meal right?)
You know that they have the dish you
want and that it will taste how you expect
– a constant and reliable option. Imagine,
you’re in a foreign place where you’re
feeling lost, hungry and confused in a
world full of unfamiliar streets and stores.
Suddenly, in the distance, you catch a
glimpse of one of those oh-so-familiar
signs and all hope is restored. Prezzo? Café
Rouge? Chimichanga? The list goes on….
And this brings me to my next point,
the list really does goes on! There the
range of cuisines catered for are endless:
American, English, Spanish, Mexican,
Italian – you name it. Whatever mood
you’re in, there’s almost a guaranteed
chance of your cravings being satisfied
by the popular and well-known brands.
A problem, however, that may be
induced by providing the same menu
with only seasonal additions, is ensuring
a constant flow of people coming back
for the same experience. This problem
is commonly dealt with (luckily for us,
the ever-hungry consumer) by regular
deals, vouchers and promotions being
available. Offers including 25% off food,
two for one and set meals at a certain
price allow smug groups to return and
feel like they’re getting their money’s
worth. You have to admit, we all enjoy
the thrill of ‘beating the system’ and not
paying full price, especially as students.
Another bonus for the chain
restaurants are that they really are
located in the most convenient places:
shopping centres, cinemas and leisure
complexes, places where it is almost
certain that hunger will strike the masses.
Their fun atmosphere and family-friendly
vibe means that these places are perfectly
suited for birthday parties, work do’s, stag
nights and so on. The variety of dishes
served on the menus means that even the
fussiest of party-goers will be satisfied and
the meals are all roughly the same price so
nobody can really overshoot the budget.
I’m not saying don’t explore
new places and take a risk every now
and again with an independently run
eatery, but just appreciate the safety
net that comes with chain restaurants.
They are popular for a reason, and
you know that you can rely on them.
IMI BYERS
54
FOOD & DRINK
DEBATE
“THERE ARE SO
MANY HIDDEN GEMS
THROUGHOUT THE
STREETS OF CARDIFF
WHICH NOT ONLY
PROVIDE FANTASTIC
FOOD, BUT A NEW
DINING EXPERIENCE.”
Just to clear things up, this isn’t
going to be an anti-establishment,
anti-conglomerate rant at the many
restaurants that line the streets of
every city in the UK as I am more than
partial to the occasional trip to beloved
Pizza Express. But, after straying away
from the trustworthy chain restaurant,
prying myself from those balls of doughy
goodness and reaching out to some of
Cardiff ’s independent eateries, I have
been enlightened to an experience that
has made me re-think my dining habits.
With so many chain-restaurants
offering uniform experiences that
supposedly capture cultural essences
in their food, we’re often led to believe
that we’re going to be given an authentic
taste of that culture. Whilst I can’t
deny that some of them do this well,
exploring local independent alternatives
can open your eyes to a different sort
of experience; an experience founded
in culinary passion and often family
tradition. Svagos, located on Crwys Road
is a great example of this. With paintings
on the wall composed by friends of
the owners, the restaurant serves a
welcome reminder of the human pursuit
behind the running of a restaurant.
That is what is so enchanting
about independent eateries, the fact that
you’re often eating in the presence of the
creator who has taken the risky decision
to pour their passion into a project
that stands alongside the formidable
popularity of chain restaurants. To
me, this sense of enterprise should be
supported so long as the food is worthy.
In my experiences of these independent
venues, the food has been more than
worthy of my time, money and well worth
venturing out the realms of familiarity.
There are so many hidden gems
throughout the streets of Cardiff which
not only provide fantastic food, but a
new dining experience. It’s so easy to
head to the eating quarter in St David’s
and indulge in the restaurants which
continue to confirm your expectations,
but why do it? Maybe because it’s
reliable? That’s all very well, but there
is so much more to discover in terms
of both atmosphere and menu variety.
For me, eating out is a treat, an
exciting event where it is as much about
the atmosphere as it is the food. Why
continue to have predictable meals at
predictable places when you can discover
something new, something that regains
and realigns your excitement with food?
Frankly, food is exciting and I feel that
independent eateries can harness this
excitement in more unexpected and
pleasantly surprising ways than chains.
EMMA GILES
55
Illustraation: Bryn Evans