docVolume 6 Issue 5
download 
Report Transcription
Volume 6 Issue 5
paper* US FREE AUSTRALIA $ 1.07 DENMARK DKK 5.44 CANADA $ 1.09 FRANCE € 0.73 INDIA INR 59.38 ISRAEL ILS 3.46 JAPAN ¥ 101.54 NEW ZEALAND NZ$ 1.16 RUSSIA RUB 34.77 SWITZERLAND CHF 0.89 UAE AED 3.67 U.K. £ 0.60 PLUS SHIPPING & HANDLING VOL 6 ISSUE 5 *TheHighSchoolforthePerformingandVisualArtsNewspaper They Say You Can’t Buy Love But They Sell it at the School Store By Margaret Fisher I think that I have said in multiple paper* articles and writings about HSPVA that various things are the heart and soul of HSPVA, because, well, when writing about these various things I want to emphasize how very important or great or fun or just uniquely strange and wonderful those things are to our magnificent school, but I lied in those multiple paper* articles and writings about HSPVA. The true heart and soul of HSPVA is its student. The very important, great, fun, uniquely strange and wonderful students at HSPVA are what makes this school undoubtedly the best school the Houston public school system has to offer (and private school, but I have just no knowledge about or experience with that whole thing). The thing is, though, that these students have stomachs; BIG stomachs. No mind needs fuel like an artist’s, and one woman has taken it upon herself to provide the gasoline that keeps us running. Terri Brown has run the School Store with a kind smile and deep love for 16 years, and now her reign is ending. “Reign” seems like a strange word to choose, because I doubt Ms. Brown feels like she rules anything. Ms. Brown is unassuming and humble in the ways that all should strive to be. She saw needs at HSPVA– the unending need for money and food–so she began to provide that service. In her 16 years at the school store, Ms. Brown has raised approximately $400,000 for the school, and never has she received the recognition she deserves. I would like to say, though, that all of the money that Ms. Brown and her partner-in-crime Sharon Mellon have raised is not nearly as noteworthy as the great spirit and warmth they provide to the students. Ms. Mellon, has been with Ms. Brown from nearly the beginning. For 15 years Ms. Mellon has done it all, and now, she too will be retiring her duties for the next generation to take over. The School Store doesn’t just sell food. It sells LITERALLY everything an HSPVA student could ever even begin to fathom needing. Just weeks ago I was in a great panic, because I had forgotten to bring a blank DVD for art, but all of my worry and stress was for naught, because, of course, the school store had blank DVDs. So, at a time when I would’ve sold my soul, my first born child, and every one of my worldly possessions for this round piece of plastic, I needed only pay a dollar, a dollar that would go right back into the department I was at the mercy of. To close this long rant, Terri Brown and Sharon Mellon deserve their own graduation ceremony. Their retirement from The School Store is equally as important, if not more, as the seniors’ exit. They too have grown out of the shoe that is this school (see Anna Peters’ article “Unfiltered Sap” to understand this metaphor and cry a little) and are ready to find a new set of kicks. I hope that they find, more than I hope that I or any of my fellow seniors finds, a pair of the nicest, stylish, comfortable shoes that anyone could ever want, because no one deserves a good pair of shoes like these women. Farewell, Ms. Brown and Ms. Mellon. I will never forget the impact that you had on this great place, and I will genuinely miss your smiling faces. Who’s Landing Where? Aimee LlerenaUH DowntownHouston, TXBusiness Entrepreneur Adrian PerezHCCHouston, TXVideo Production Adriana Scamardi University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Theatre Alan Ramos HCC then transfer to UH Houston, TX Business Financing Alanna MelchorUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXBiology Alexis Beffer The Boston Conservatory Boston, MA Dance/Contemporary Dance Alicja Zapalska University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Radio-Television-Film Amanda FriefeldPratt InstituteNew York, NYGraphic Design Amy Rodriguez Houston Baptist University Houston, TX Psychology Anastasia Badagovskeye HCC/ UHHouston, TXArt Andrew TollettHCCHouston, TXGame Design Angel Hickerson UT at San Antonio San Antonio, TX Vocal Performance Anna Peters New York University New York, NY Film and Political Science Anna WatersTexas A&M UniversityCollege Station, TXVisualization Arianna Holmes Louisiana State University Baton Rouge, LA Biology Ariel BranchWebster UniversitySt. Louis, MOVocal Ashton Coleman Prairie View A&M University Prairie View, TX Mechanical Engineering Becca Carter Texas Christian University Fort Worth, TX Music Performance (Flute) Brittany Mayfield Texas State University San Marcos, TX Nursing/Biology Brooke KotrlaTexas Tech UniversityLubbock, TXDance Caleb KrollBrandeis UniversityWaltham, MAChemistry Caleb TaylorUndecidedN/AAudio Production/Composition Cateline DunnWebster UniversitySt. Louis, MOCostume Design Catie Auchter Nebraska Wesleyan University Lincoln, NE Musical Theatre Chandler Foreman Texas Women's University Denton, TX Kinesiology/Music-Liberal Arts Charlie TellezUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXTechnology Chris Sommer Berklee College of Music Boston, MA Contemporary Writing & Production Christian Cortes The New School for Drama New York, NY Dramatic Arts/Film Studies Christian Gray Houston Baptist University Houston, TX Vocal Performance and Accounting Christina HongEmory UniversityAtlanta, GABiology/Psychology Christopher BennettDePaul UniversityChicago, ILTheatre Claudia HeymachStanford UniversityStanford, CAHuman Biology Corrin McCollough Trinity University San Antonio, TX Everything. Literally Everything. Courtney Ashby Prairie View A&M University Praire View, TX Undecided Daisha Warren Texas State University San Marcos, TX Undecided Daniel Huerta HCC/ transfer to Art College Houston, TX Fine Arts or Film Dante RossiCalArtsValencia, CATheatre Darion Greggs Montserrat College of Art Beverly, MA Animation and Illustration Dawson DowdyUndecidedN/AMusic Composition Dayna PalmerUniversity of TexasAustin, TXDance/Pre-Med Deshawn Prescott Houston Community College Houston, TX Associate's Degree Diamond BraxtonUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXBiology Elias Gomez University of Saint Thomas Houston, TX Nursing Elisah Gelladuga Houston Community College Houston, TX Occupational Therapy Elizabeth Martinsen UTSA/ transfer to UT Austin San Antonio, TX Psychology/Neurology Ellie Sondock Molloy College/CAP 21 Long Island, NY Musical Theater Ely Eastman Gap Year/ Reed College Israel; Portland, OR Changing the World Emily Chadwick University of Houston Houston, TX ASL Interpreter Emily FigueroaGap YearHouston, TXN/A Emily Robison Sam Houston State University Huntsville, TX Dance Emily Scott Southwestern University Georgetown, TX Environmental Sciences/Costume Design Emily Wallace Lindenwood Univeristy St. Charles, MO Undecided Emily WolfeBaylor UniversityWaco, TXVocal Performance Emma KerrColorado CollegeColorado Spring, COEverything? Erika FawcettSUNY PurchaseNew York, NYDance Essence Green Alderson Brouddous University Philippi, WV Sociology Ethan TullosUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXBiology Faith DagahoyHouston Baptist UniversityHouston, TXNursing Fernell HoganRoosevelt UniversityChicago, ILTheatre Giovanni Youssef Southern Methodist University Dallas, TX Film and Media Production Haley Packer Indiana University Bloomington Bloomington, IN Bassoon Performance Hannah MarksHouston Community CollegeHouston, TXLiberal Arts/Humanities Hannah Tang San Jacinto College/ UT Austin Houston, TX Nursing Harris Cobb Texas A&M University College Station, TX Nonapplied Mathematics Harry HwangUniversity of MichiganAnn Arbor, MIClarinet Performance Herlinda Castagnoli Loyola University New Orleans, LA Music Performance/Business Humberto Ortiz Pompa UH Downton/Football Academy Houston, TX or Europe Bank Investing Jack FlowersNew York University/Gap YearNew York, NYIndividualized Study Jackelyn Salinas HCC transfer to UH Houston, TX Psychology / Cognitive Memory Jacob AllenUniverty of HoustonHouston, TXTheatre Jacob OstdiekUNCSA Winston-Salem, NCScenic Technology Jade Jackson University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Acting Jade KlinglerWorkHouston, TXN/A James LeBlanc University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Vocal Music and Recording Tech Jarred Thompson Texas Southern University Houston, TX Business Jayson Peters Texas State University San Marcos, TX Music Performance, minor in Business Jazmine BlasColumbia CollegeChicago, IL Musical Theatre Jennifer Ramos Montserrat College of Art Beverly, MA Illustration Jeremiah PrattCooper UnionNew York, NYElectrical Engineering Jessica Stevens Webster University St. Louis, MO Lighting Design Joelyn VillameTexas A&M UniversityCollege Station, TXPhysics Joi Pierre Rockford University Rockford, IL Musical Theatre; Minor in Business Jordan JanisUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXUndecided Jordyn Williams Dillard University New Orleans, LA Art/Biology Juan RamirezHouston Community CollegeHouston, TXUndecided Julia MacDonald University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Psychology Kat MuraviyovaBoston UniversityBoston, MAUndecided Katharine Patrick University of Virginia Charlottesville, VA Chemical Engineering KayLa ThomasGap YearN/AN/A Kaylin SmithDillard UniversityNew Orleans, LATheatre Kelsey Linberg University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Radio-Television-Film Khayla WilliamsBaylor UniversityWaco, TXMusic Education Kirby Townsend Loyola Marymount University Los Angeles, CA Engineering, minor in Dance Kryssalyn Randel-Bayne University of Alabama Tuscaloosa, AL Dance/Broadcast Journalism Krystal JaingaGap YearN/AN/A Kyle Legacion Texas State University San Marcos, TX Acting Leanne Ireland University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Psychology/Sociology Liam BrodBates CollegeLewiston, MEMathematics London Lane The Relativity School Los Angeles, CA Commercial Dance Luke Effinger Houston Community College Houston, TX N/A Mackenzie Searcy Marymount Manhattan College New York, NY Business and Dance Madeline MuguerzaUH DowntownHouston, TXArchitecture Engineering Madison BrunerMCADMinneapolis, MNGraphic Design Makayla Matranga-Tidwell Marymount Manhattan College New York, NY Dance Margaret FisherNew York UniversityNew York, NYFilm/Television Mary Ellynne Williams Louisiana State University Baton Rouge, LA Public Relations Matthew Martinez Marymount Manhattan College New York, NY Theatre Matthew SmithRelativity SchoolLos Angeles, CACommercial Dance Matthew ToffolettoRice UniversityHouston, TXMusic Composition/Ecological Sciences Max Winningham Northwestern University Chicago, IL DOUBLE BASS! Michelle Sorensen Louisiana State University Baton Rouge, LA English Miguel Chavez Jr.Harvard/Lone StarBoston, MAComedian/Theater Miller Walsh Texas A&M University College Station, TX Mechanical Engineering Minsu Kwon University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Art History Miyani ClarkBeloit CollegeBeloit, WICreative Writing and Studio Art Morgan Mikes University of Texas Austin, TX Dance w/ Certificate in Business Nadia HalimBarnard CollegeNew York, NYNeuroscience/Behavior and Dance Nadia Marshall Prairie View A&M University Prairie View, TX Nursing Natalia Kian Carnegie Mellon University Pittsburg, PA Costume Design Natalie BarnabyBoston UniversityBoston, MAVocal Performance Niara Dorsey Prairie View A&M University Praire View, TX Architecture Nick WaltonAustin Community CollegeAustin, TXFilm Nicole VickersSt. Edwards UniversityAustin, TXTheatre/Psychology Nik LiebsterRice UniversityHouston, TXBioengineering Nuri CraigHCCHouston, TXUndecided Olamide SholotanUCLALos Angeles, CAMusical Theatre Paloma Pinto Tulane University New Orleans, LA Gender Studies Patrick SongNew York UniversityNew York, NYBiology Peyton BookerHCCHouston, TXMusic Business and Vocal Jazz Studies Rachel Cominsky Tulane University New Orleans, LA Undecided Rachel Hibler Somewhere exciting Something interesting Cool and makes a lot of money Raven Moore Prairie View A&M University Prairie View, TX Nursing Ricky Rubio Santa Fe University of Art and Design Santa Fe, NM Contemporary Music Riley McShanogSUNY PurchasePurchase, NYDance Robin Harrison Houston Baptist University Houston, TX Vocal Performance Samuel HerreraGap YearN/AN/A Sarah AndersenBringham Young UniversityPrava, UTVocal Performance Sarah CoaleHouston Community CollegeHouston, TXPsychology Sarah CominskyUNCSAWinston-Salem, NCScenic Design Sean Weiser Loyola University New Orleans, LA Music Industry Studies Shelby Nunn Pace University New York City, NY Commercial Dance Shilpa Sadagopan University of Pennsylvania Philidelphia, PA Internal Relations & Contemporary/Jazz Performance Simone Trevas California State at Long Beach Long Beach, CA Dance/Public Health Sophie MargolinSchool of Visual ArtsNew York, NYIllustration Steffannie AlterRice UniversityHouston, TXPsychology Taylor Walters Texas State University San Marcos, TX Pre-Veterinary Medicine Tia Culbreth University of North Texas Denton, TX Accounting Tyler ArchieSan Jacinto CollegeHouston, TXArts and Business Tyler Atkins University of North Texas Denton, TX Music Education Tyler Dennis Jackson State University Jackson, MS Music Education/Music Performance Tyler Resto University of Cincinnati Cincinnati, OH Vocal Performance Vanessa OlveraUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXPsychology Victoria WrenUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXArchitecture Vinay Roy University of Texas at Dallas Dallas, TX Biomedical Engineering Viviel BohlerSt. Edwards UniversityAustin, TXActing William NelsonUniversity of HoustonHouston, TXElectrical/Computer Engineering William SommerTexas Tech UniversityLubbock, TXEconomics Zoe Cagan University of Texas at Austin Austin, TX Flute Performance Unfiltered Sap By Anna Peters in the Spirit of Herlinda Castagnoli As Herlinda has been attacked by her own ears the job of chronicling the four year experience here at the HSPVA has fallen to me, at least temporarily. Four years is a long time to be in a place and as you grow up or down over those 4 years the place and you begin to mold together: an aging foot and an aging shoe. But eventually the laces tear and the bottoms fall out and one has to either commit themselves to a shoeless existence (as some have taken to doing) or find a new shoe. stack of tables in the middle of the hallway is a good way to get applause. Through these lessons I learned the greater lesson to generally avoid the art hallway during lunch. I learned that one should never lend their X-Acto blade to anyone even if it is for a mother’s day present and especially if they are a pianist. I learned that people are great and that there’s a pretty good crop of them at this school. I learned that I could make things that I liked, but that most of the time I should just shut up and watch what other people were doing because that was And here we are on the precipice, the preci- more exciting. I learned that cactus is pice of a new shoe [mixing metaphors is a good in guacamole and sleep does bad thing I’ve heard, but there’s one week of not understand the fact that you are school so it’s a bit to late to fix me]. And we increasingly making your biology sit biting our lips, revving the engines of our teacher hate you and that calcufuture at the precipice of a new shoe. But lus is a beautiful ineffable mystery. it does indeed seem necessary to cut the Mostly I learned that I couldn’t wait engine for a second and recognize that this to get to the next shoe, but also shoe’s been pretty good to us. that I didn’t really want to leave. When I showed up at the red doors of this institution I don’t know what I was exactly, but I wasn’t much of a person. I’d been rolled through the spaghetti maker of Lanier Middle School and had emerged a doughy noodle who fell down the stairs a lot. As I cooked or baked (I am just sure none of these are the process of preparing noodles) through high school I picked up life lessons as I crashed into them, like those little red vacuum robots. I learned that dropping apple sauce and nachos on a senior’s head is not the fastest route to befriending said senior and I learned that knocking over an entire I begin to rev my engine at the beginning of the road to the rest of my life on the precipice of a new shoe only because I know the shoe has loved me, but doesn’t really want me hanging around any more. There are new feet to slide into the old shoe, that I guess has been rejuvenated for the sake of this metaphor, and two feet in one shoe has never worked. I’ll see you on the stage, I suppose. I’ll be the one in the hat. What I Learned in ONLY One Year at HSPVA By Paloma Pinto Never eat Ms. Stovey’s food or drink her coffee without asking. And if she says you can, CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF. Nobody wants to see your belly button (especially not Ms. Bonner) Don’t be that annoying vocalist who sings in the hallways. Do not call Mrs. Julian, Ms. Julian. Not all dancers are scary. There is something happening everyday. Keep your eyes open. Friday dances were apparently a freshman year thing. You’re not my dad. If you’re not repping Tracks in Motion…do you even go here? Happenings are like pizza. When they’re good, they’re great, and when they’re bad, they’re still pretty good. Bring a sweater, always. Brilliant brevity, ammaright ladies? By the end of senior year you’ll be dying to leave but wishing you could stay. High School and the Finite Nature of Time By Liza Anderson You spend seven hours and forty-five minutes a day at school (assuming you arrive with perfect timeliness and leave with an admirable haste). You sleep about seven hours a night, on a good day. If you’re artistically unencumbered, you spend about an hour, maybe two studying every night. If you’re less lucky, your art area homework (whether it be slaving over a portfolio, practicing your instrument ad infinitum, or rehearsing for hours into the evening) occupies another significant chunk of your precious time. You spend about two hours a day feeding yourself, cleaning yourself, and trying to make yourself appear presentable. All in all, you’ve got somewhere between two and five hours a day to make your own, to make yourself. Bearing in mind the fact that my calculations are optimistic and that many of us are further impeded by engagements my elementary generalizations could not predict, the amount of time that any of us has varies from little to none. You have somewhere between little and no time to do everything you want to. Sure you’ve got weekends. You’ve got those two treasured days a week with which you can do as you please. But some of that time is inevitably spent in preparation for the week, in laun- dry and homework and working not to get behind. And in the end, it is only two days a week. you, but rather to impress u p o n You may be asking why I’ve chosen to shed you the light on this disheartening reality. Well, ear- s i g n i f i lier this month I was reminded of an activity cance of Mr. Bingham had us do as freshmen. In this what time activity, he encouraged us to make for our- you have. Ti m e selves these dismal calculations, specifically is the only nonrenewable tailored to the time we had. And it was in this resource. Time is the one thing you can’t get activity that we, as bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, back. You cannot afford to not enjoy high not-yet-fully-disillusioned youths stared into school. You cannot afford the time to live the impending abyss and saw what our fu- waiting for the next stage of your life. You tures held. This is not the product of high cannot afford to waste time. You spend at school; this is not something for which we least eight hours a day in this building; you can blame an institution. This is a reality that cannot afford not to get every last kernel of will never change. We will pass from high life out of it. You cannot give yourself more school to college, and our time will be con- time; you cannot reallot your time to ignore sumed further by the obligations of a more your responsibilities; you have to live this rigorous curriculum. From there we will pass life. So live to “suck the marrow out of life”, into adult life, where we will spend our days live to encompass all the things you canworking, and our time will be further subju- not live without. Realize that every moment gated by the mundanities and responsibili- you spend is every moment that you have. ties of adult life. Some of us will be lucky; Sit higher, laugh louder, walk briskly down some of us will have the opportunity to fill hallways and get your stuff done. Your time our lives with what specific work we enjoy, deserves better than you wasting it. Realize but none of us will be so lucky as to avoid the what you want to do and do it. You do not prospect entirely. I say this not to depress have the time to make any other choice. They’re Shooting a Movie Here! When the paper* squad got wind of this hardhitting news by way of a hot tip from on-thescene scoops Amanda Friefeld and AriAnna Swaab. We sent our toughest teeth-gritted journalists to the scene to do some recon. They returned with absolutely no new information for you, oh curious readers; however, we did manage to snap a photo. There was a smoke machine. When asked what movie they were making the guy in the hat was overheard to reply, “a feature film.” You’re welcome HSPVA for always getting you one meaningless paragraph of words closer to the answers of life’s persistent questions. A Word of Thanks By Daniel Huerta Well Seniors, the time has finally come to leave the halls of ‘PVA. Now, before we all walk across the stage on Monday in either tears of joy or sadness, I want to take the time to thank each and everyone of you, both students and teachers, for making high school one of the best experiences of my life so far. If not for my amazing family here at ‘PVA, I honestly don’t know where I would be today. I might still be in the closet, spending each day alone in an isolated location in some less-amazing school crying and loathing myself like I once did. I might have had to go through bullying again, something from middle school that killed most of the life I had in me. I might have abandoned my art, my passion, for who-knows-what. But ‘PVA saved me from all of that, and words cannot describe just how grateful I am for being a part of this family. Now, admittedly, I started HSPVA on a rather sour note (like the kind of sour you would get from the lovechild of a bag of Warheads and 10 limes). Despite my attempts to re-invent myself, my grades were mediocre at best, and I spent the entire year isolated from everyone else because of a severe case of a “little” thing called social anxiety (like, I rarely even approached the two friends I had from middle school that came with me here).So, freshman year was basically just an awful fiasco. Sophomore year, however, went by much differently. After the summer, I came back 40 pounds lighter (eventually 62), I began to make a lot of (amazing) friends, my grades went up drastically, and I slowly began to come out to my closest friends until I was finally ready to just come out with it to everyone in my junior year (most people seemed to have had it already figured it out either way, but hey, less stress on me). The love and support from all my friends and teachers helped me surpass many of the trials that awaited me within the following months— months that proved nearly too much to bear. With their loving support, I continued to grow, both as an artist and a person. And now, senior year. I’ve taken my art a step further, I’ve grown a deeper love and understanding for my academics, I’ve made new friends, and overall, it’s just been an amazing year. None of this would have been possible at any other school. Now, bear with me on this because it’s about to get cheesy (but true). With every ounce of blood in my heart, I want to thank each and everyone of you for sharing this amazing experience with me these past four years. Even if we never talked, or if we barely met, you have all become an important part of ‘PVA. Therefore, as we all leave, you will all take a piece of my heart with you. I want to thank you all for helping this once lifeless husk get to the hopeful and promising place where he now stands. I love you guys, and I hope that we all meet again some day. May you all find happiness and success wherever you go. (BTW, look up the song “This Time” by Glee. I know, it’s Glee, but whatever- DO IT because it sums up my love for this family perfectly.) The Brilliance of Buzzfeed By Kelsey Linberg To be or not to be? Why are we here? Do you actually exist? How bro am I? Which song from Frozen are you? Humankind has struggled with these ontological questions since the dawn of time, and now there is finally a way for us to find the answers we so desire: Buzzfeed quizzes. While the first two questions cannot be answered by a quiz, the last two questions and many more can be with a few fun questions and about five minutes. If you’ve ever questioned your identity, or wanted to know which Friends character you are, then a Buzzfeed quiz can get you your answer. With the help of Sean Moses, I had a few volunteers take some quizzes in their spare time to learn more about themselves, so that they too may be closer to answering their own ontological questions. Which classic author is your soulmate? Ms. Ballard – Henry David Thoreau* Would you pass high school biology? Mr. Landry – Passed with a C Which president should be your valentine? Ms. Diaz – Barack Obama nd C a e d i Pr ard (ft. enas arcy) Fitz mD willia Which Jane Austen hero is your soulmate? Mrs. Cardenas – Fitzwilliam Darcy Which disney princess are you? Mr. Bingham – Pocahontas *Buzzfeed loses credibility, because everyone knows her soulmate is F. Scott Fitzgerald A Bawk for a Buck Editorial by Nik Liebster and Anna Peters We are a wasteful species and an even more wasteful nation. But that doesn’t stop us from non-wasting other species. hipper markets of the U.S. Maybe a paw-chip is the untapped flavor Frito-Lay has been searching for with all of these ill-advised “make your own chip” write-in competitions. If so, it would be emblematic Chicken feet, or chicken paws (as they’re known in the industry), of a steep decline in American ingenuity. Outsourcing our flavor have become fairly hot commodities on the international market for decisions could be the last step off the cliff of toe-tal economic the past 20 years. No, there hasn’t been a drastic redefining of the combustion. We MUST keep all of our chicken feet in America. The term “chicken fingers” since the 90s, so calm down, but thanks to a future of our economic health depends on it. We call on you, citihuge demand in China paws have become big profit centers. Per zens of the greatest nation on the planet, stop the vulgar, revolting, latest chicken paw data, the U.S. exports more than 2.72 million and horrific export of chicken feet to China and Eat more Chicken! metric tons of chicken feet every year. A fairly pawsome statistic, (feet) and truly an impressive “feet.” Perdue farms alone produce (chop off) more than a billion chicken feet a year (from 500 million chickens) bringing in upwards of $40 million in revenue. According to Carlos Ayala, the vice president of Perdue, without chicken feet it would be hard for chicken companies to stay in business at all. The scandal here, however, is as such: these feet that are otherwise “rendered” or made into dog food, fetch one or two cents in the U.S. In contrast, these feet can grab 60-80 cents in the markets of China and Hong Kong. Paws have caught on as a growing trend among the burgeoning middle class as a delicacy far more desirable than the rest of the chicken. Indeed, China is the largest consumer of American chicken feet in the world. Consumers buy the paws to make soup or a quick snack, sometimes fried and seasoned with regional spices. But now we ask: how can the people stand for this? How can we allow our communist rival to steal one of our most valued products? Our government, supposedly there to protect our inalienable rights and as American citizens, seems to find it acceptable to alienate feet from American chickens and give them to scheming Marxists across the Pacific Ocean. China has been leeching off of our economy since Mao’s ascent in the 1950s. The question posed: how can the American people stop communism in its tracks? The best place to look for answers is the past. If the 20th century tells us anything, it’s that the most effective way to fight communism (after dropping Agent Orange) is increasing consumption in the western world. Perhaps the three-toed treat will catch on in the What We Miss Most About PVA By John Guttman, Jeremy Dorsey & Graeme Campbell JOHN - Sneaking cheese cubes to Hank the Rat that lived in locker 103 in the jazz room - The unspoken rule that skipping class is allowed as long as you’re in the library and not named John Guttman - Thinking that writing the WIMMAPVA was beneath me - That one chair in the jazz room that, if you sat in it just right, water would fall from the ceiling - Secretly hoping to one day write the WIMMAPVA… - The look of compassion in Mrs. Stovey’s eyes as she politely ordered me to get out of the library - Having 5th period jazz band held in the library - Being surrounded by so many insanely talented artists - Being surrounded by Weldon Maurice Scott - Not having my GPA and consequently career determined by three tests a semester - Gazelles that had never heard of “moment of inertia” (YouTheManLandry) JEREMY - Not feeling like I’m a grain of sand being tossed around in the wind, on a beach, with fifty thousand other grains of sand, hopelessly battered by the rolling tides day in and day out, hoping to one day become an elegant sand dollar. - ^^^doing that on the AP English test… [: - Being addressed by my formal title, Mr. Jazz-- nobody has manners these days! - Great PVA traditions like locking a jazz freshman in a drum locker for 48 hours straight to initiate them into the jazz. - Going to a school with five letters in its name. Five! - Guitarists who can play more than just Sweet Home Alabama. - Being able to include “Grammar Scholar” on my resume :’( - Pianists who can play more than just Sam Smith - Weighted GPA (Heck yeah baby!) - My parking spot. - Single-variable calculus. GRAEME - The tiny PVA community where new gossip spreads through the whole school in just one class period - Strike Mondays, gleefully tearing down all of our hard work after just five shows - Spending more time working on paper* and yearbook than on homework - Spending more time in the library than in class - Sneaking into school late pretty much every day - Mrs. Brown, the school store, and knowing where to stand in line for fastest service - Creating amazing shows with the theatre department despite the dysfunction and stress of the process - Building sets in the scene shop with Dana and Mr. Davis (with musicians shuffling through on their way to the Denney) - The unique character that is Marc Duncan - Searching for loot and lost textbooks with all of the amazing custodians after locker clean-out - Mrs. Stovey, Mrs. Cardenas, and the library kids family keeping me sane Sports Section Somehow we’ve had this twice. Clutch City By William Sommer May 14th 2015. On this day, the Houston Rockets played a game that will live in Rockets folklore for decades to come. Down 19 points with a little over a period remaining, the Rockets roared back to win the match 119-107. With the Clippers currently leading the series 3-2, the Rockets had no room for error – if they lost, their season would be over. The shocker – James “The Beard” Harden did not even play in the fourth quarter. Describing himself as the “cheerleader” on the team, he witnessed Josh “Smoove” Smith and Corey Brewer play MVP-caliber ball. The Rockets have had championship aspirations all season yet have been struggling in this series against the Clippers. Despite being down 3-1, the Rockets won 2 critical games to ensure their season will continue. This miracle comeback to tie the series 3-3 has Houston fans remembering the origins of the name “Clutch City”, where in the 1995 season the Houston Rockets were down 3-1 against the Phoenix Suns and miraculously won some 3 straight games to win the series en route to their first NBA Championship. Since the creation of the NBA, only 8 teams have won a series while being down 3-1 in the playoffs. It appears the Rockets are going to go down on that list again. With Harden finally getting his head back in the game and Howard having solid nights while avoiding foul troubles, the Rockets are looking once more like a championship team. On Sunday, May 17th the Rockets and Clippers will meet for the last time this season in Houston where both teams must win or else face elimination. Going into this game, Houston has the most critical thing a team can have – momentum. They have won two consecutive matches and both have been by a large margin. The Rockets will be playing on their home court filled with fans rooting for them and more importantly, rooting against the Clippers. With the cheapest tickets currently being above $300, only the most loyal fans will be attending. The Clippers fans can find solace in one thing though – it’ll all be over soon. Update: For the Clippers, it is over. As of May 20th, the Rockets became the ninth team in NBA history to comeback from a 3-1 standing. They face their toughest challenge yet, however, in their series against the Golden State Warriors. After losing the first game in the series, we’re all rallying for our home team. paperviews* *in case you care what we think Emojis of Color Paperview Ratings Prom Edition Leaving one week early PVA “FUNK YOU UP” By Olly Sholotan 89 on PE Final Saying Goodbye : ( #RIPSeniorPicnic2k15 As far as I know, most of you are currently using iPhones. In those wonderful phones exist one of the funnest (my favourite* words are the nonexistent ones) ways of communicating: emojis. Up until very recently, the only emojis that were available represented strictly white people. Actually nevermind I’m pretty sure there was a slightly ethnic mustached man and a person with a turban...because diversity. Before Apple released the update with other races and stuff, most people just assumed that emojis simply didn’t come in the colour* brown. Well that’s just not true because not only are there three different monkey emojis, there is also a poop emoji with a face. Just to reiterate, we had a poop emoji (with a face) before we had emojis of black people. In spite of this, I’m not saying that Apple is a racist company that hates everything ethnic; I just find it mildly amusing that of all the things they’ve done for software updates, painting the faces different colours* wasn’t a high priority. And that brings me to something else: a lot of people think us Android users don’t share the joyful experience of emojis when that’s actually far from true. Google hasn’t bothered updating races for different emojis because well.... let me just put it like this: every time you Appleheads send us a weird sriracha satan man thing, we get an adorably angry red person with his mouth open. Long story short, Android users don’t really need diversity because instead, we were blessed with a family of adorable little yellow, blob people. JUST LOOK AT THEM. Pure adorableness. *we at paper* accept Olly’s use of “u” in “favour” and “colour” because he’s British. He’s Still Off By Cathleen Freedman If there is one character that everyone* in the history of human existence** would agree is the most suave, most charismatic, most righteous dude of them all, it would be Ferris Bueller. Grandparents love him; parents love him; we love him. You might even say Ferris Bueller is our hero. This movie has something for everyone. A Ferrari, Charlie Sheen, a lip sync to Wayne Newton, Abe Froman- Sausage King of Chicago. The only one absent from this movie is “Bueller…Bueller…Anyone?”. Ferris Bueller, who has missed school nine times this semester, decides to have one last hurrah before graduation. Pretending to be sick, he fools his parents, friends, and that one girl whose ‘best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who’s going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night’. The only one Ferris doesn’t successfully hoodwink is his principal, who will stop at nothing to catch Ferris. It hurts my heart any time someone admits to never seeing this iconic John Hughes film. How do they function in society knowing there’s a whole hour and forty three minute journey left to experience? Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop [and watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off] once in awhile, you could miss it. *except for non-conformists **aside from a couple of people like Napoleon or Christopher Columbus, but I’m pretty sure they would have wanted to be Ferris Bueller too. Gucci Mane: Trap God By Sean Weiser Gucci Mane, one of the most inspiring artists of all time, has been very busy in jail this year. For those of you who aren’t in the know with Gucci Mane, the 35 year old Radric Davis has been out and trapping since 2001. For those of you who aren’t in the know with trapping, it is (according to Urban Dictionary) a form of dance explored by the inebriated. It involves the elevation of your forearms above your head trapping your face into an x formation. This year alone, he has released five albums, two extended plays and two mixtapes. If you’ve heard any of them, you would know they are fire. As one critic on iTunes said, “He back mane. You’re going to have to listen to this in the freezer cause your phone will overheat”. I would like to point the attention of this article to the three tasty albums that were all released earlier this year. On March 17th, the Trap God released Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner. The music featured artists such as Waka Flaka, Chief Keef, and the beloved Andy Milonakis (yes, you read that correctly, Andy Milonakis). These thirty-three songs would satiate people’s ears for weeks to come. Apparently, Gucci did not believe this. A week later (on March 24th) the rapper released an EP entitled Dessert for anyone who was still hungry for some new trapping material. Gucci Mane continues to drop new fire mixtapes all the time and is always, without a doubt, “lost in the sauce.” An Eerie Awesome Ballad of Imax and Fire By Christian Cortes *WARNING*SPOILERS AHEAD* For those fans who haven’t heard, the TV show that we’ve all been obsessing over for so long has hit the big screen. Game of Thrones became the first ever television show to be shown on an IMAX screen, and what a great freakin idea that was. I’ve been a devout fan for almost 2 years now. So when I heard they were playing the last two episodes of season 4 along with the world premiere of the season 5 trailer, I knew I had to be there. Unfortunately, I was broke. I lost all hope and dealt with the fact that I’d never get to see Jon Snow defend the Wall or Brienne kick the snot out of The Hound. However, I had a saving grace. My mother graciously offered to finance my IMAX adventure and so on a lonely Saturday night, I lived out the greatest movie theatre experience of my life. The theatre was virtually empty with a total of 8 people there including myself. The lights dimmed, the epic trailers concluded and the opening tune we all know and love began. I had never truly seen Game of Thrones until this moment. “The Watchers on the Wall” opens with a landscape view of the massive 700-foot Wall that separates the wildlings from Castle Black. The grandeur of this structure was something to behold. The sound of the harsh Northern winds whipping through the air put a chill in my bones. I’ve watched this episode so many times, but it was as if this was the first time all over again. The episode continues as the brothers of the Night’s Watch make preparations for battle. As Mance Rayder lights “the biggest fire the North has ever seen”, the bloodshed begins. A horn atop the wall is blown to signal the men below, flaming arrows begin flying towards the wildlings, then arrows back at the Night’s Watch. The vast wildling host approaches the wall, 100,000 strong. Men of all tribes are screaming battle cries as the Night’s Watch responds with more arrows, then….the giants. Giants riding on the back of mammoths. GIANTS RIDING MAMMOTHS. Picture that on a huge screen with perfect surround sound. Amazing. The battle has begun; the wildings breach the castles wall, sword clashes against sword, men start getting cut down, arrows are flying and it’s as epic as epic can be. That was just the first episode. At this point I’m drooling. My mind has been blown and I get one more episode. Now while “The Children” doesn’t have as epic of a battle scene, it’s still the last episode and ties up some pretty important plot lines. We pick up where we left off; with Jon Snow on his way to negotiate peace terms with the King Beyond the Wall. However, this meeting is interrupted by a HUGE army of mounted knights flying the flaming heart of the rightful King Stannis Baratheon! A huge army of knights on horses decimating the wildling forces. It was beautiful to s e e the camera p a n upwards a n d show t h e land- scape filled w i t h thousands of soldiers riding forth into battle. Fast-forward to Bran finding the 3 eyedraven and fighting off zombies. Folcomes possibly one-on-one fight Brienne of Sandor T h i s apart e p i c to its bloodiWe all Hound m a n a bunch lowing this the best between Tarth and Clegane! fight stands from other fights due raw brute n e s s . know the to be a of immense strength, but we also know Brienne to trump the best of knights. Punches are thrown, teeth are loosened and suddenly the swords are gone, knocked out of their hands and that’s when it gets real. Sandor punches at Brienne with a terrible ferocity, they beat each other viciously. I was about to fall off my seat. Brienne grabs a massive rock and with a blind fury smashes it into his head repeatedly. The sounds of rock on head made me cringe. It was extremely gory and I loved every second of it. Then TYRION SHOOTS TYWIN WHAT??? Yeah, the monster is finally dead. Hoorah! It was great. I wish I could’ve watched it over one more time. Fast-forward to Arya preparing to leave Westeros for Bravoos. A new horizon approaches for young Arya. When the credits begin to roll, I am speechless. For nearly 2 hours I was able to live in the world of, in my opinion, the greatest fantasy series of our time. And. It. Wasn’t. Over. Yet. The credits ended and the reason we all came was at h a n d . T H E CRAZY INSANELY EPIC SEASON 5 TRAILER! If you’re a fan and haven’t seen it, you’re wrong. Go now. Stop reading this and watch it. I’ll wait……… CRAZY RIGHT??? We’ve got so much to look forward too. Battles, betrayals, huge dragons, and plots to seize the throne are going to be jammed packed into the most anticipated season so far. So, if you haven’t watched the show, I suggest you do so, and if you do watch, then pray to the gods that they release more on the big screen. Mysterious Blood Droplets Found in the Frozen Wasteland of Room 130 By Rebecca Elmore May 14, 2015- On the surface, all was quiet. The students had left the classroom for the day. The teacher sat typing furiously on her computer, surely engaged in providing students with concise and effective feedback on their most recent essays. The desks were empty. The only thing that remained was a light sprinkling of fine white dust upon one of the desks in the far corner. The teacher, seeking inspiration, gazed around the classroom. Her eyes rested upon the dust on the table. It took her a moment to process what she was seeing, but when she did, her eyes grew round with horror! Who had done this! Who had left the blood of their flour baby splattered across her classroom! She ran over to make sure the child was not suffering on the ground. She was both relieved and horrified to find that the child was nowhere to be found. Where was the child? Awash with questions, she sat back at her desk. What to do? Report it to the fearless Biology teacher, the individual responsible for monitoring the parenting techniques of these teenage parents, her 9th grade students? Tell Mr. Stickney, the mathey math teacher known to delight in the abandonment of flour children? Report the problem to the police as a violent kidnapping? Then again, maybe she was mistaken. Maybe it wasn’t baby blood at all. Perhaps it was merely the aborted attempt to make a cake for Mr. Mena’s birthday. Or or or maybe it was evidence of a different crime of the drug related variety? She was internally conflicted. And then she knew what to do. She would report it to the paper! Horoscopes By Isabella Jarosz Aries: A large sum of money is coming your way.* Taurus: Stop singing that one Drake song. I can assure you, good fortune will come your way if you do so. Gemini: You probably have been feeling pretty awesome this month- and you know what? You are! But, that doesn’t give you an excuse to try and bring back 1980s slang- no matter how ‘bodacious’ you think it is. Cancer: In the wise words of Miranda Cosgrove- Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we’re gonna get there, and be so wonderful. Leo: Thank you for gifting us with your presence in the lighting booth above the commons. Virgo: Life is about to get really exciting, because you’re going to make the decision to watch Whiplash this month. Or rewatch Whiplash. (Watch Whiplash.) Libra: In my opinion, you should have won Most Attractive. Scorpio: Beware- despite their reputation as the least potentially harmful kitchen utensil, spoons can (and WILL) devastate your life. Proceed eating ice cream and stews with caution. Sagittarius: You looked amazing on prom night. Even if you didn’t go to prom. You looked amazing on the night of April 24th, 2015. Capricorn: It’s going to be really tempting make a bet (40,000 retweets?) with your teachers to try and get out of finals. Trust me, that won’t work. They prefer chocolate and gift cards. Aquarius: You are graduating, or someone you know is graduating, or someone you occasionally pass on your way to 5th period is graduating. It will be sad, it will be sweet, and it will be satisfying. And then, you know what? It will be fine. Pisces: DON’T DRINK THAT. Just kidding, haha. I mean, I wouldn’t, just because that looks really gross. But you can do whatever you want, I guess… *The paper* staff is not responsible for any theft, money laundering, or counterfeit committed by students influenced by their horoscope. I mean, they are an Aries. They probably were intrinsically motivated to commit crimes to begin with. Hats Off to Dr. Seuss By Natalia Kian When people ask me for the names of my favorite authors, I tend to spout the typical choices of a classified young adult Lit nerd. John Green, JK Rowling, Rainbow Rowell, Samantha Shannon – the list goes on. Still, more often than not I get a rather shocked reaction when I reach a name more expected of the typical first grader. And this leads me to ask a rather pressing question: why is it so weird for a high school senior to love Dr. Seuss? To clarify, the guy is fascinating. I say ‘is’ because I believe that death and decades need have no effect on the pure awesomeness one’s legacy may hold. It certainly didn’t take young Theodor Seuss Geisel long to start creating his legacy. As a school boy, young Theodor would rewrite the hymns he learned in church so that they would rhyme correctly, refusing to recite them in what he considered to be the wrong way. His first published work as a writer appeared in his campus humor magazine at Dartmouth College, from which he was suspended when discovered drinking gin in his dorm. As a result, Geisel took up the pen name Seuss. What ensued was a back and forth jaunt between halffinished English studies, a career in cartooning, an attempt at advertising, a nearly unpublished first book, WWII political cartoons and, ultimately, a return to the work we all know and love him for. And nearly 30 years after leaving Lincoln College at Oxford without a PhD, he was awarded an honorary doctorate from his alma mater Dartmouth. He then added the “Dr.” to his penname because his father had always wanted him to practice medicine. What I love about Dr. Seuss is that most of his life’s success happened through chance events, sparking a snowball effect even a master manipulator of words couldn’t control. To elaborate, when I say “a nearly unpublished first book”, I mean he had just received his 43rd rejection letter and was on his way home to burn the manuscript for And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street when he ran into an old Dartmouth pal who happened to work in publishing. His child-like drawings may never have seen the light of day had his beloved wife not befriended him at Lincoln College and mentored him. Even his pen name was an accident, the result of frat boy foolery. The man lived as proof of the magic to be found in unpredictability, and still spent at least a year on each of his books because he was such a perfectionist. For example: He made Pantone invent a new green because none of the greens available were “parrot-y enough”. Dr. Seuss’ books are silly yet intelligent, youthful yet enduring. They remind kids around the world – kids like me – that it’s okay to be a five year old inside sometimes (or all of the time) just like he was. And the unpredictable, while scary, is sometimes a perfectionist’s best friend. And this summer, as the ever-unpredictable legacy of one of my greatest heroes continues to unfold and one of his recently discovered manuscripts is published worldwide, you can bet I’ll be standing at the doors of Barnes & Noble with all the other perpetual five year olds. Pat in the Hat Overheard from Jacob and Sean @ HSPVA I’m the boss here. -Sean talking about his relationship We have a contract no tell agreement - Sean What you told? We had one agreement! - Sean I love you, bruh - Sean It’s so stressful writing for paper*! I don’t know how to sound like a reporter? - Sean (paper* wants to know if you have ever read paper* why would you even worry about that?) I went pee. Then I ate pasta. Now I’m back. - Jacob Catcher in the Rye is basically the 1920s pop punk book - Sean Snoop Dog released another album...Why? -Jacob Oh, if I went to a regular school, I’d be the drum major. – Jacob Maybe I’ll just buy one. It doesn’t hurt to have a turtleneck in your closet. - Jacob I just bought the new Snoop Dog album. - Jacob The first five books are just an introduction to the characters. - Sean on Harry Potter They call me Jakie from the block. - Jacob Girl, she needs to practice. Even I can walk in heels. - Jacob I’m really stepping up my game. I’m going to wear my Clark’s and put on some expensive sunglasses. And not wear my granny panities. - Jacob His dad was like the governor of some Florida. - Sean My knees hurt! I feel like I’m in my 7th month of pregnancy! I’ve even been having hot flashes. - Jacob I have chunky thighs so my phone doesn’t fit in my pocket. - Jacob Don’t yell at me. -Jacob I can put barbeque sauce on anything and like it. -Sean My dad went to Hebrew school with him. They used to have sleep overs and stuff. -Sean on Luncheon honorary Mark Seliger Sometimes I wish I could just be someone’s pet. Don’t you think that’d be awesome? – Sean The granny smiths have been particularly large this year. - Jacob paper Staff I took a two-hour bubble bath the other night. It was great! - Jacob Editor-in-Chief: Margaret Fisher Artistic Director: Anna Peters Photo Director/Photoshop Directorshop: Nick Walton Editors: Liza Anderson, Chandler Dean, Nik Liebster Contributing Writers: Liza Anderson, Graeme Campbell, Christian Cortes, Jeremy Dorsey, Rebecca Elmore, Cathleen Freedman, John Guttman, Daniel Huerta, Isabella Jarosz, Natalia Kian, Nik Liebster, Kelsey Linberg, Paloma Pinto, Olly Sholotan, William Sommer, Sean Weiser Senpai: Chandler Dean For an online archive and other paper*-related spiel, visit hspvapaper.com!
