Beg To Differ: Delighting Audiences for Fifteen Years

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Beg To Differ: Delighting Audiences for Fifteen Years
BY CHRIS MCDONALD
In 1991, under the leadership of
John Hiltonsmith, a true MUS staple
was founded: Beg To Differ, a fusion of
barbershop and doowop a cappella
that has delighted audiences for fifteen
years here in Memphis and across the
world. With a track record boasting of
performances in front of the President
of the United States; in Notre Dame
Cathedral in Paris and in Chartres,
France; and from Washington DC to
Chicago, Atlanta to New Orleans, and
Boston to San Francisco, MUS’s premier vocal ensemble has become an
icon of MUS excellence.
Awarded a medley of accolades
and shelves of trophies, Beg To Differ
has been featured on T.V. and has recorded several CD’s, becoming one of
MUS’ finest institutions in the process.
As the group celebrates its fifteenth season since inception, the The Owl’s Hoot
talks with Mr. Hiltonsmith, retraces
BTD’s path to success and raises the
curtain on some of its more colorful
moments...
Beg To Differ in front of Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, 2005
First, tell us the back-story on
Beg To Differ. How did it all begin?
For many years before I got here,
MUS had a choral program of some
sorts with varying degrees of success.
Some were large glee clubs with girls
from Hutchison, some were just guys
from here. They were often not especially good, and since they weren’t auditioned groups, they were usually quite
sizeable and designed primarily to provide a way for students to satisfy their
fine arts requirement for graduation.
By my fourth or fifth year at MUS I
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realized that that was going to have to
change, but I didn’t know what formula
to try. I tried small coed jazz groups,
accompanied by piano. They were fun,
but just didn’t take off. Since I had been
a fan of a cappella singing, popular
music, and especially Barbershop, I
suggested to a group of guys that we
try some things that were like some
college a cappella groups that I had
some recordings of.
Indeed, Sean Lyttle had given me a
recording of a group from Tufts that a
lot of guys really got turned on to, so I
worked out a couple of arrangements
(James Taylor’s “That Lonesome
Road” was the first), and it just caught
on. I had heard Huey Lewis’ a cappella
arrangement of “It’s All Right” and
thought if I could find a singer to sing
that solo and do an arrangement of it
that would suit our guys, that would be
the catalyst to get it going.
Then Nathan Hetherington [enrolled] and I knew he was “it.” I worked
out the arrangement and basically told
the other guys in the group that he was
in, and I was giving him this solo. They
were kind of put out by it at first, but as
soon as we learned it and he sang it,
they knew that’s how it had to be. With
that, the group took off and 15 years
later, “It’s All Right” has remained the
signature tune.
And with that history was made?
At that time, of course, I never
dreamed of cross-country contest trips
and 25 trophies and trips to Europe,
recording CDs, television appearances,
a Presidential performance or being included on a compilation of high school
a cappella groups from all over the
world. It’s been a crazy trip for a high
school music teacher.
“Beg To Differ”—it’s attention-getting. Where did the name come from?
The name Beg To Differ was actually coined by a student from Hutchison
who was a member of one of the coed
jazz groups I [initially] had started. We
were trying to come up with a catchy
name, and had thought of every little
catch phrase we could. We weren’t
thinking at all about there being any kind
of longevity for the group—we were
just going to sing a couple of numbers
for a Christmas concert and she blurted
out “Beg To Differ.” We liked it and
kept it for the concert.
The next semester Hutchison and
MUS split their music programs, and
suddenly I had a group of just guys to
work with. We already had a name, and
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Editors-in-Chief
BEG TO DIFFER: DELIGHTING AUDIENCES FOR FIFTEEN YEARS
Chris McDonald
Jonathan Yeung
the rest is, well, a registered trademark
of Memphis University School.
As always, a round of applause
to our lovely colleagues next door.
So, unfortunately you lost the
ladies…but then you cut loose the
pianist. Why did you choose to develop an “a cappella” group instead
one instrumentally accompanied?
There are really several reasons.
First of all, there has been something
that has been mystically attractive about
unaccompanied singing to us humans
as listeners for centuries. I think audiences are intrigued by and appreciate
the skill it takes to “pull off” a pop tune
that is so heavily driven by drums and
guitars with singing only. [And the performers] also experience something intangible musically that instrumentalists
just don’t experience.
It probably can be traced to physics and the fact that in order to sing what
we sing, you have to be keen to the
voices around you and learn to sing
exactly in tune (or as close as we can in
our development as high schoolers).
When you do actually “lock-on” to the
frequencies of the people around you,
you experience a particular camaraderie
that instrumentalists just don’t achieve.
Secondly, singing a cappella in a
small select group like Beg To Differ
requires the development of
musicianship that singers in bigger high
school choirs aren’t forced to develop.
Thirdly, finding a capable pianist for
rehearsals on a daily basis and for all of
our concerts—we can do as many as
20 in a year—is extremely difficult.
[With] no pianist to contend with means
we can perform or rehearse pretty
much anytime, anywhere.
When we go to a contest, we, unlike the other choirs there, can find a
spot in the hotel and rehearse and rehearse and rehearse. We usually rehearse about 10 hours when we arrive
at the hotel, before we go on stage. It’s
pretty phenomenal and really interesting to see the impromptu audience we
attract from the students of the other
groups who are hanging around the ho-
Associate Editor
Ferrell Varner
Technical/Layout
Editor
Roger Chu
Cartoonists
Parker Joyner
William Lang
Clement Oigbokie
News Editors
Byron Tyler
Asst. Michael Stein
Viewpoints Editors
Peter Travis
Asst. Asad Dilawari
Sports Editors
Teddy Klug
Asst. Owen Mercer
Amusements Editors
Wilson Castleman
Asst. Alexander Fones
Columnists
Morgan Arant
Blake Cowan
Andrew Jehl
Nathaniel Kastan
Will Mays
Dev Varma
Business Manager
Neely Mallory
Faculty Advisor
Mr. N. Thompson
tel—amazed that our guys are rehearsing instead of hanging out at the pool.
Besides those admirers, what
have been some of your favorite
audiences to perform for?
Our audiences are so varied that it’s
hard to say. Some of the most fulfilling
are the least attentive—like singing for
the kids at St. Jude’s and the Ronald
McDonald House. Certainly the most
fun is our winter concert because we’re
singing for everyone’s friends and families, so the audience is always energetic
and excited about hearing them sing.
That winter concert is definitely
a showstopper. What, on the other
hand, has been the worst audience
to sing for?
The worst? We’ve sung several outdoor festivals in the heat, where the
people at the festival just wander
around, and you may never get anyone
to stop and listen. Although, we sang at
a big outdoor music festival in France a
couple of summers ago that we thought
would be the same, but we ended up
with mobs in the street listening to us.
Bien fait! Mais alors le français
est plus cultivé. That triomphe
aside, 15 years of directing a group
of 20 high school students is not
without its sour notes, of course.
Beg to Differ has seen its share, but
seems to adapt and embrace the
changes necessary for continued
success.
The biggest challenge is not unlike
any team or ensemble that is driven by
the level of the talent of its members.
There are cycles of years where there
are more people who are qualified to
sing solos than I know what to do with,
and then there are cycles of years when
there just aren’t many really soulful soloists. So, we change the repertoire to
try to fit the ability of the group in any
given year.
It’s kind of like casts on SNL: they
have been constantly evolving, but there
ends up being certain combinations of
talent for multiple year cycles that we
remember.
That’s probably the extent of the
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changes over the years. It’s a formula
that seems to work pretty well and fits
the dynamics and personality of the
school, so I’m not inclined to make any
kind of sweeping changes, although for
most people the group is new because
they’ve only been in it four years, or
heard them for four or five years. For
me, after 15 years of doing it, it can be
hard to keep it fresh.
What are some Beg To Differ
experiences that still make you
laugh and that have passed into
BTD legend?
The oddest thing was when I was in
the organ chamber at the Orpheum
working on the instrument one summer,
and I got a call from a member asking
if we had a gig the next morning on
Channel 3.
What are you talking about?! I
asked. He said that they had been announcing all day that Beg To Differ
would be performing on the morning
show the next morning!! How on earth
could that be?
Well, calling the station and around
town, it turned out that a lesbian folkrock group had formed and named
themselves Beg To Differ!! Since we
had started using that name ten years
earlier and could prove it, our people
called their people and the long and
short of it is that Beg To Differ is now
the only high school choir in the country (that we know of, anyway) whose
name is a registered trademark!
Excellent! A run-in with a lesbian
folk-rock group – I’m not even remotely surprised that you somehow
managed this. Well done sir! Any
others?
Another odd one was the second
year into the group when I decided to
try a contest just to see what we’d
score. It was in D.C. and the awards
ceremony was so crowded that we had
to sit on the floor during the ceremony.
I had no expectations about this since
we were young, and there were no
other groups that even remotely resembled us. The judges were univerCONTINUED ON PAGE 3
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BEG TO DIFFER: DELIGHTING AUDIENCES FOR FIFTEEN YEARS
sity and professional choral people who
don’t care for pop genres in general,
so I figured we were doomed.
I had received our packets which
contained our comment sheets from the
judges and during the hubbub of the
hundreds of high school students from
all over the country talking all at once, I
timidly opened the packet and pulled
out the sheets one-by-one. I don’t remember the exact numbers, though I
keep all score sheets from year-to-year,
but I pulled the first one out of the
packet to see it was well in the 90’s,
then the second, well in the 90’s, then
the third, well in the 90’s. Then the overall rating of “Superior.” Then the “First
place: Men’s Choir.” I remember saying to myself under my breath, We got
a superior. We won the men’s choir
division! “Hey guys!!!”
Then there was the New York contest that we thought we’d come home
with nothing and won every award we
could, including “Overall Best.” That’s
another story, though.
Ever the modest one, I see. Anyway, what do you believe has been
BTD’s best moment?
There have been so many rewarding performances and experiences
which will stick in my mind forever, but
certainly the best memory was on our
last trip to Europe.
We had been rehearsing the pieces
we would perform at Notre Dame in
Paris. During the course of those rehearsals, I had tried to give the guys
some poignant information about the
background of several of the pieces,
primarily why Thomas Dorsey wrote
“Precious Lord, Take My Hand.” It was
a response to his having learned that
while he was on the road traveling as a
preacher during the early part of the 20th
century, his wife and child had died
during childbirth. His response was
“Precious Lord, take my hand, lead me
on, help me stand. I am tired, I am weak,
I am worn. Through the storm, through
the night, lead me on to the light…”
At the time we were having some
philosophical issues among the group
about why we were there and what we
were set to do while on our tour. The
highlight was to be the concert at Notre
Dame, but not many in the group had
latched on to that yet.
When we got there and were taken
to the immense nave, the guys were
overwhelmed by the architecture. I told
them to consider all of the humanity that
had gone before to create that amazing
place of God, and that they were there
to add their own humanity to all the
souls who had gone before them. I gave
them a minute to look around and take
in the room, and the crowd that had
gathered. When it came time for “Precious Lord,” I quietly told them to not
sing to the crowd, but instead be the
voice of Thomas Dorsey to God over
the loss of his family. I thought at that
moment that I had done the wrong
thing, because several of the guys were
so overwrought with emotion that we
nearly couldn’t go on.
[Then], the last piece of the concert,
and of the concert tour, and that many
of them would ever sing with Beg To
Differ, since they were seniors, was
“The Irish Blessing.” I had the guys
group closely enough that they could
physically touch each other and told
them to sing this to each other. When
we got to the line “And until we meet
again, may God hold you in the palm of
his hand” the group broke down. Many
in the audience broke down, as well.
We were led away from the performance area, many of us in tears and
the rest speechless and emotionally
stunned. Several fell to the floor or into
chairs. All I could croak out myself was
“You may come back to Paris, but you’ll
never do that again in your life.” At that
moment we were no longer choir and
teacher, or team and coach, we were
one entity.
Any “ugh” or off-key moments
that shaped the group?
Ugh moments? I’m sure there have
been a few, but none that were really
anything more than some inconvenience,
like a performance time changed or no
microphone or something comparatively
trivial.
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Clearly not one to let anything discourage or stop him, Mr. Hiltonsmith’s
legacy with Beg To Differ evidently has
not quite quenched his thirst for music,
as evidenced by his other, newer endeavors. As well as serving as the Faculty Advisor and Director of the MUSic
CD (a collaborative collection of student and faculty performances, recorded, mixed, and mastered in our
very own Bloodworth Studio), he also
teaches the Studio Production Class, a
group of musicians (instrumentalists as
well as vocalists) dedicated to learning
the recording and engineering process.
Under Mr. Hiltonsmith’s direction, the
group will both play a concert in the
spring and put out their own CD.
With this much Beg To Differ
progress and success in so short a time,
this writer can only excitedly anticipate
returning to the school as an alumnus
fifteen years from now and seeing how
much farther our MUSical program has
gone. Until then, standing ovations for
Mr. Hiltonsmith and the excellence of
Beg To Differ.
This Month in Review
Boise State vs. Oklahoma: Everything we could dream of
seeing in a bowl game, and then some.
+2
Losing to the Brothers…kudos to the referees.
-3
Holiday movie season is one of the lamest ever. Way to go
Hollywood!
-2
Two weeks without school!
+1
So the chapel speaker liked to play squash. A lot.
-1
Second semester has finally arrived. If you’re a senior, it’s
smooth sailing form here on out!
+2
The Owl’s Hoot puts out the first sixteen pager of the New
Year.
+1
Festivus, The Rocky Contest, and other student council activities have been more than a drag...
-1
Grand Total for January:
-1
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Call to Arms for the League of Extraordinary Fanboys
BY ALEXANDER FONES
Mid-August 2004—ish: a date I will
never forget. In overgrown khakis and
a blazer, I march as if by gunpoint up
the small staircase of the administration
wing, unknowingly setting myself an unnecessary eighty yards away from my
locker’s actual location. Vigorously
clasping a schedule of classes with
locker numbers as if it were my only
shield against the viscous mass of human beings pushing, I fought my way
down the hall. All the halls looked the
same then, the people were taller, the
faces were meaner, and words were
caustic. Back at Grace-St. Luke’s (represent), we were not taught the philosophy of “sticks and stones,” but that
words truly had offensive value and
could hurt someone’s feelings. Through
naïveté I excuse myself. I was struggling.
I found relief in clubs through which
I found friends. One club that grabbed
my interest was the League of Extraordinary Fanboys (LXF). I had always
seen comics as modern-day mythology,
a bastion of idealism in this cynical
world from which to draw inspiration,
but I was untrained. I needed to learn
Photo Courtesy of www.ezthemes.com
The demonesque Ghost Rider. After selling his soul to the Devil,
Johnny Blaze‘s head became a flaming skull, and the villain now wields
a flaming motorcyle
composition of art, balance, transitions,
clichéd plot lines, innovative character
development, and the skills to discriminate. In a morning trivia challenge by
LXF coordinator Patrick McCarroll, I
proved my merit in the most esoteric
recollection of the race of Lyja Storm,
the Human Torch’s wife (the answer to
those who are wondering, is Skrull).
Glory on the mind, I strutted down the
halls to collect my prize (a copy of
Batman #463 and a LXF t-shirt). Raising my rewards above my head towards
the sun to collect solar energy, I ab-
sentmindedly asked the date of the next
LXF meeting. Mr. McCarroll sighed,
“Due to football this year, I have no
time on my hands for LXF.”
I heard the same thing for two years.
So alone, I struggled through my comic
book reading, and located the nearest
comic book store (Comics and Collectibles on Poplar), where I had shelled
out a lot of money on very bad comics
(Red Sonya). I had no diligence, just
the will to read on. I would check in
every now and then with Mr. McCarroll
down the hallway, or Mr. Clifft during
Quiz Bowl. Finally, now in my junior
year, I no longer walk the halls with
fright but an ease of memory, like Daredevil. I see the outline of Mr. McCarroll
in my radar vision and, for the first time,
ask him nothing about LXF. Instead, I
perceive sound waves from him,
“Alexander, now that football is over
for the year, would you like to put together LXF?”
We brainstormed wondering how to
hook the children today. Today, people
will pay money to see Fantastic 4: The
Rise of the Silver Surfer or to buy the
newest DC “limited” comic series Infinite (or Identity or Ichthyology) Crisis. People need help to get through the
onslaught of today’s commercialized
comic experience.
So here’s the plan: on February 16,
2007, Ghost Rider, the newest project
of producer Avi Arad, the mastermind
behind this parade of Marvel Comics
film adaptations, arrives in theatres.
After watching the film we will attend a
cheap restaurant to discuss this movie.
If you are a fan of comics or film, I urge
you to come.
Now is the time to don our masks
and capes gentlemen. Excelsior!
Meet the Rookie: An Interview with Bucky Schultz
BY ROGER CHU
After being asked multiple times
by multiple students who that random
student-looking guy walking down
the hall is (as if I knew him), I decided to approach the random guy
(whom I did actually know) and ask
him a few questions for the benefit of
the MUS community.
What is your name?
Bucky (Samuel) Schultz
Where are you from?
I’ve lived in Memphis my whole life.
Where do you currently go to
school, and in what are you majoring?
I currently attend Christian Broth-
ers University where I am a Finance
major, but I am about to change to
Computer Science.
What job do you hold here at
Memphis University School, and
what does it entail?
I’m an Information Technology
Assistant. I take care of our spam,
the firewall, technical issues, and any
minor server problems. I basically
do anything involved with our computers.
How have you liked working
here at MUS?
I love this job because I believe
in what MUS is trying to do for the
students.
Have you ever been confused
for a student by any teachers or
students? We’ve been known to
do that in the past...
Yes, but not always directly.
Sometimes I get a few weird looks
from teachers and the occasional
“tuck in your shirt” request, but not
too often. Actually I really have not
gotten that in a while.
So, what do you think of MUS
so far?
MUS is a very good school and I
almost wish I went here for high
school. The teachers really care about
the students’ education, and the school
definitely meets the college preparation criteria.
How does your opinion of this
now differ from your opinion when
you were in high school?
I now see why most parents want
to send their kids to private schools,
but I also understand that it is important to expand your horizons that a
public school can offer.
Who is your favorite member
of the MUS faculty or staff thus
far?
Who do you think...?
What is the most amusing or
awkward thing that has happened
to you at MUS so far?
Today I walked into the lab and
then someone randomly said, “Hey,
I know your sister.” I replied,
“Cool?”
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Food for Thought
B Y O WEN M ERCER
Of all the great things about MUS,
there are some bad things. One of those
bad things is the lunch system. Don’t get
me wrong, I’m certainly not dogging the
cafeteria; country fried steak or crispitos
can brighten the cloudiest of days.
While I love the cafeteria food, I don’t
like the MUS lunch system. I hate having
to stand in a dizzyingly long line for fifteen
minutes just to get into the cafeteria and
then having to wait another ten to get my
food and checkout.
The line to enter the cafeteria is the
worst. It often stretches into the farthest
reaches of the hallway leading to the old
gym. Furthermore, under the ever-watchful eye of the hawk-like Coach Ray, attempts to cut are futile. It’s even worse
when one has a pre-lunch class that unluckily is located in the senior hall. Just
five extra minutes before dismal results in
arriving at a line that is already even longer.
To help improve the lunch process, I
have two proposals. First, kick out some
freshmen. The freshman class is already
way too crowded as it is, and if a couple
of students were kicked out every-sooften, the lines would be inestimably
shorter and thus more bearable. How-
ever, as that idea is may be a bit too drastic in the eyes of the parents or the administration, there is an alternate solution to
the crisis.
Let the freshmen eat with the Lower
School and reschedule the current process so that the Upper School. If freshmen ate with the Lower School, it would
even out the number of people eating at
the same time. Currently, four grades eating together later in the day is just not
working.
Furthermore, the Upper School deserves the better food selection! Every
day our hopes are tragically crushed when
we arrive in the cafeteria only to find that
the good stuff has disappeared. For example, on the rare occasion the cafeteria
serves Oreo cream pie, by the time upper school lunch starts, three pieces remain, waiting to be fought over by hundreds of students. That’s just wrong.
So there you have it: my complaints
about the MUS lunch system as well as
my suggestions on how to fix it. I believe
that the administration should look seriously into changing the current debacle
that is the lunch system instead of dealing
with such unimportant things like college
admissions. Please, deal with the pressing matters first!
How About Crabs for Lunch?
B Y A LEXANDER F ONES
From 12:25 to 1:15, all I hear is
“WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHH
WAHHHHHH!”
Persistent whining plagues my quest
for tranquility as I wait in line for lunch.
Some Halfling behind me wipes the snot
away from his nose and declares that this
lunch line is stupid and that the whole
lunchroom is laid out poorly. My chakras
drawn askew, I turn my third eye, and
with the brilliance of the Tao I shout,
“How about you use your ‘A plus’ in
Physics C to lay out the blueprints that
would allow a faster transition? And be
sure it’s cost effective for the school, but
you shouldn’t need reminding since you’re
in Economics and all. Oh wait, never
mind, you’re too busy failing freshman
Bio!” A line is inevitable in a school of
over six hundred students, and no floor
plan can eradicate such a thing.
I rebalance myself in flowering tree
position and am just letting the essence
of Brahman flow through me when again,
my roots are turned up by some sophomore rambling on and on about wet or
nonexistent trays. Listen bud, go anywhere
that trays are used, and they will be wet.
Be glad they are not dry or greasy. And
even if you had a tray, you would still wait
in the interior lines for a hot meal or to
pay, both inevitable.
After receiving my delicious meal, I
levitate in mid-air and float in lotus position like a flower in the wind that unites
me with the entire world, that is until the
loud-mouthed child in front of me proclaims rudely that an item that was $1
yesterday is $3 today. One word my
friend: Economics.Your ignorance of such
matters disrupts my search within. Everybody knows that Ms. Sheila and Ms.
Carolyn’s touch screens have a direct
uplink to the NASDAQ. So please, quit
whining and get on the alternate plan
where you pay for every meal and get a
certain number of items. That way you
can also get something besides four boxes
of greasy fries.
All these grievances are the product
of indolent children.Allow them their silly
protests and they will demand their own
lounge next to the senior one. Soon, they
will see the product of their patience. As
the Tao Te Ching says,
Free from desire, you realize the
mystery.
Caught in desire, you see only the
manifestations.
Thanks Lao Tzu!
Looking Back on 2006: Stories of the Year
BY BYRON TYLER
January
Iran breaks the seals on three of its
nuclear facilities, despite the disapproval
of the U.S. and some European nations.
Februaryuary
U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney
accidentally shoots his friend Harry
Whittington with a shotgun on a south
Texas ranch. Oops. Whittington even
apologized for the accident.
March
Memphis’s one and only Three 6
Mafia makes history as they become the
first hip-hop group to win an Academy
Award for Best Song
April
President of Iran Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad confirms that Iran has successfully enriched uranium and will continue to produce nuclear fuel
May
Brad and Angelina Pitt have a child!
Who cares?
June
Al-Qaeda leader in Iraq Abu Musab
al-Zarqawi was killed in a U.S. air raid
north of Baghdad.
In response to an Israeli shelling of a
Gaza beach, Hamas fired rockets into
Israeli territory, ending the cease-fire with
Israel.
July
Italy won the 2006 FIFA World Cup
by beating France 5-3.
For the first time in 47 years, Fidel
Castro temporarily relinquished his power
over Cuba to his brother Raúl while undergoing surgery.
August
London Police make 21 arrests in
connection to a terrorist plot that involved
aircraft traveling from the U.K. to the U.S.
September
Pope Benedict XVI gave a lecture in
Germany, criticizing the Islam faith and
sparking protest.
U.S. Representative Mark Foley from
Florida resigns after his page scandal.
October
North Korea claimed to have conducted its first ever nuclear test.
Google bought YouTube for $1.65
billion.
The United States population reached
300 million.
November
Saddam Hussein was sentenced to
death.
Democrats won control of both
houses in the Midterm elections for the
first time since 1994.
December
Former US President Gerald Ford
died at the age of 93.
Saddam Hussein was executed.
Byron gives this year 3 out of 5
buzzards.
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My Problems with the Newspaper
BY DEV VARMA
When I look at our paper and
compare it with others from around
the schools in our community, I find
that ours is far superior to our peers’
papers. Yet when I finish reading all
of the sections and filling out the
crossword puzzle and Sudoku, I feel
as if I have just finished a meal but
am still hungry afterwards. It is this
feeling that got me thinking about
what is missing from the newspaper.
It came down to two things that I
feel would make the paper a real hoot
if included. These are the creation of
a “creative corner” and slight adjustments to the viewpoints section.
These places would be used for the
student body’s original thoughts, opinions, and ideas.
The “creative corner” (pardon the
alliteration) is perfect for poetry, creative essays, or even short story episodes. This would provide the more
“literary” part of the student body a
place to exhale its ideas and stories
in more places than just the MUSe,
our annual literary magazine.
The viewpoints section we have
today is very well put together but I
feel it lacks real thought-provoking
material. Plus it is also weakened by
the fact that really nothing but school
events are reacted to and discussed.
I think this section should be used for
responses to everything from how
bad a sports team is doing to things
like the genocide in Darfur.
The newspaper could even include
a section where someone interviews
a random student or faculty member,
or it could add a section where a survey is done about how Student Council activity went. These additions
would make the student body not
only more cohesive, but also more
perceptive to their environment.
I also feel that this section should
have more of a “point/counter-point”
format, the style that makes debates
so much fun. A prime example of this
was the anonymous response to my
“Rankest of Pranks” article. No other
viewpoint in the school newspaper
has provoked so much debate between so many people. In fact if
people disagree with anything I have
stated here, I pray that they respond
to this article in the next issue.
United States: “the establishment of
Christmas Day as a legal public holiday does not violate the Establishment
Clause because it has a valid secular
purpose.”
Some go as far as to insist that
two separate holidays are celebrated
on December 24-25, one a Christian
feast day, the other a secular holiday
marked by the exchange of gifts. In
fact, according to a survey, eighty
percent of non-Christians living in the
United States celebrate Christmas.
Examine any celebration during
the winter “holiday season,” and beneath all the wrapping paper is a commemoration of family and a declaration of hope for humanity as a whole.
If there should be any attempts to
change Christmas, it should be to enforce the importance of family, not to
limit who should be allowed to celebrate it. I marvel at anyone who is
offended by the government’s endorsement of such a celebration, and
would advocate a change not in how
much money is spent, but what it is
spent on.
True Spirit of the Holidays?
BY ROBERT DUFFLEY
Just before Christmas break, I
overheard my mother explaining to
my youngest brother that Christmas
isn’t really about getting presents. According to her and many others in our
country, the true meaning of Christmas is giving, rather than receiving. I
can understand this sentiment, yet as
I fought through the crowds of a preChristmas Atlanta mall, I could not
help but wonder if the desire to give
has gone in the wrong direction.
Every year on Christmas morning,
my grandmother reminds my siblings,
cousins, and me across the giftstrewn living room of how happy she
and my grandfather were to receive
an orange and perhaps some small
wooden toy in their stocking. Even
with inflation and the decreasing value
of citrus fruits, I do not believe that
an orange and a toy soldier constitute the antiquated equivalent of an
iPod, a computer game, and several
gift certificates that I received.
Perhaps the focus should be more
on those who have given rather than
on those that have not, thus further
emphasizing the eternal hope for all
mankind. There is no doubting the
benefits that would result from such
changes. Several organizations, such
as the Salvation Army, work as hard
as they can to make charity easy and
accessible to everyday Americans.
I myself devoted part of a Saturday to collecting donations for the
Salvation Army in front of Super WalMart. My experience in no way made
me feel warm and fuzzy about the
benevolence of my fellow men. Although many people donated, they
were largely overshadowed by those
who did not. My brothers and I were
very interested by the obvious manifestations of guilt in those who did not
donate; most common was the “ignore the four kids with the giant red
bucket ringing the bells and go straight
in” tactic. Those who didn’t donate
hardly glanced in our direction.
In today’s society rages the neverending battle over the secularization
of the holiday. Many Christian groups
annually maintain that a desire for political correctness is swiftly pushing
Christmas towards complete secularization. Others strongly believe that
America’s acknowledgement of
Christmas as a federal holiday violates separation of church and state.
Several have believed strongly
enough to take their fight all the way
to the United States Supreme Court.
In 1999, the court issued the following verdict for the case Ganulin vs.
Photo Courtesy of TypePad.com
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Chapel Speaker SOS: Save Us From Boredom
BY COLIN MCDONALD
Picture this: A regular Friday morning, following third period. Students
pour out of their classrooms, throwingon their coats and tossing their books
before heading to Chapel. Are they
excited? Are they eager for the weekly
Friday speaker? Far from it! Rather,
they trudge to Chapel with dread, expecting not a stimulating speaker, but a
chance to nap or finish reviewing that
final chapter for the next period’s test.
Friday Chapels have become one of
the least exciting parts of the school
week.
In years past, this was not the case.
Yet, the phenomenon of boring speakers has settled over this year’s Friday
Chapels like a grey cloud that will not
go away. Don’t get me wrong; there
have been occasional bright lights at the
end of the tunnel, speakers that sustain
us for a week. Representative Steve
Cohen is an excellent example of a
speaker who made it worth coming to
Chapel. But lights like those fade
quickly and darkness descends soon
when it is painfully clear the next week
that the usual snooze speakers are back
once again.
Some of the most painful culprits?
Well, the bird flu speaker competes for
first place. Clearly, he had a passion
for his subject and knew it well, which
we all respected. However, it seems he
moonlights in his second career as a
professional hypnotist, seeing as the
majority of students fell into a trance
while he spoke. A close second is the
squash speaker. He, too, clearly was
passionate about squash. Really passionate. Addicted to squash, even. Yet,
as only a handful of people actually understood what was going on, the majority alternated between uncertainty
and boredom. Now, clearly these
speakers meant well and we appreciate that they took the time to come to
MUS. But what happened to those
speakers that could find a connection
and elaborate on it to truly excite the
student body?
There many speakers with interesting messages that we could connect
with. Yet, some weeks we don’t even
Mr. Smythe’s “chorus” during the pep rally, one of the few good
chapels this year
have a speaker. Although to many this
free time is a bonus opportunity to go
to breakfast, many others would actually like an invigorating Chapel period,
whether it is due to an interesting
speaker or a special event. For example, for the first time in years, there
was no band performance on the Friday before Final Exams. Disregarding
this tradition is worse than boring; it is
an outrage.
What’s up with Chapel?!?! We, the
student body, respectfully request that
the MUS tradition of outstanding (or at
least interesting) Chapel speakers and
special events be dug out of the hole it
seems to have been buried in this school
year. Take a survey; form a special student committee; do something… do
anything! Whatever the case, there
needs to be change.
The United Nations: The Myth of Ineffectiveness
BY ERIM SARINOGLU
The United Nations’ ineffectiveness
is a myth. To understand the U.N. you
must ignore the idealized views of its
mission and ignore the evil caricatures
about its supposed anti-American intent. Only then can you realize that the
U.N. and the U.S. actually seek the
same thing: peace.
Yet, we look around the world today and seem to see everything but
peace. War is fresh in Somalia, rebellion ferments in Sri Lanka and chaos
reigns in Iraq, but the presence of conflict alone is not proof that the U.N. or
the U.S. has failed in its goals. In fact,
the U.N. is more effective today than it
ever has been in the past.
“What makes the U.N. effective is
the scope of its programs, including not
only peace, but also economic development, the environment, human rights
and public health,” wrote Duke University professor Bruce W. Jentleson.
Because of its near-global membership, the U.N. has abilities that lone nations lack. Programs like the United
Nations Children’s Fund, UNICEF,
and the World Food Program serve
people in need around the world in a
much better and more efficient way than
any single government can. Critics point
out that the money spent on these programs rarely reaches the people in
need. To some degree, this is true.
The U.N. requires constant reform
to ensure money is not drained in its
bureaucracy. But the myth that the U.N.
is like a huge DMV, with millions of
pencil pushers proctoring people waiting in line for help, is a misconception.
In fact, did you know that the entire
U.N. employs fewer people than
Disneyland, Disney World and Euro
Disney combined?
The United Nations’ current $4.6
billion annual budget, used to improve
the quality of life for millions, is pocket
change compared to the $434.5 billion
requested by the Bush administration
for military spending. A single B-2
Stealth bomber cost $2.2 billion in
1994. The U.S. bought 20. If we had
bought two fewer planes, the savings
would have totaled the U.N.’s whole
budget. It’s a wonder how we can accuse the U.N. of being inefficient.
In matters of security, some tend to
see the U.N. Security Council as a
powerless, stubborn obstacle. Critics
cite U.N. peacekeeping force failures
in Rwanda, Somalia and Bosnia, but
those critics are quick to forget the
peacekeepers’ successes. In 1988, the
U.N. peacekeeping forces received the
Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel
Committee’s citation said the U.N. “has
come to play a more central role in
world affairs and has been invested with
increased trust.” How many fewer nations trust the U.S. with its security after Iraq?
So why are we as Americans so
critical of the U.N.? What we must realize is that the U.N. is really our chance
to have an even greater impact.
The U.N. is a playground where the
U.S. is the cool kid. The U.S. suggests
what to play or how to play it. The
other kids might not always agree that
tag is the best game for the day, but
they will always observe how we, the
cool kid, act and how we treat others.
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2006 BCS Breakdown
BY BRAD RINGEL
Booty’s pass falls incomplete! No.
2 USC loses to UCLA in its last game
of the season! Michigan fans celebrated because the Wolverines were
now the leading team to make the
BCS Championship game against
undefeated Ohio State. Later that
night, No. 4 Florida knocked off
highly competitive Arkansas to win
the SEC Championship and kept their
chances alive. The Gator fans, believing they were going to the big game,
also started to celebrate.
The next day, Florida was picked
in a controversial decision to go to
the Championship under the chaotic
BCS system: ESPN Coaches and AP
polls, the number of losses, the
strength of schedule, and the average of seven computer rankings all
factored into the decision. In the end,
the BCS got it right this time with
Florida’s 41-14 victory of Ohio State,
and Michigan’s 32-18 loss to USC.
But has this system truly worked in
the past?
In the first year of the BCS, Kansas State lost its final game of the season and fell to 4th in the BCS standings. The team missed out on playing
in either the Cotton or Holiday Bowl,
bowls which had already selected
Photo Courtesy of FoxNews.com
their Big 12 teams. In 2000, Florida
State, Miami, and Oregon finished the
season with one loss each. Oklahoma
was ranked No. 1, with Miami No.
2 in the human polls, but Florida State
was picked to play Oklahoma because the Seminoles were ranked No.
2 in the computers.
Also, Miami defeated Nebraska
in the Rose Bowl to secure the championship in 2001. But No.4 Nebraska
was in the game instead of No. 2 Oregon because Oregon’s strength of
schedule had not been calculated into
the system. Nebraska had just been
clobbered in its final game and had
not even won their conference championship.
Furthermore, in 2003 USC was
ranked first in the coaches’ poll but
was third in the BCS. In the championship game, LSU defeated Oklahoma, which had just lost to Kansas
State in the Big 12 Championship. But
because USC won its bowl game, the
championship ended up as a split between LSU and USC.
Lastly, at the end of the 2004 season, USC, Oklahoma, and Auburn
were all undefeated. Then No. 1 USC
slaughtered No. 2 Oklahoma for the
championship. In some years, there
has been more than one undefeated
team – so how does one decide between them? This season, undefeated
Boise State missed out while one-loss
Florida made the championship.
Therefore, the BCS has created numerous controversial problems.
What if Florida had not made the
BCS Championship? How would we
have known how good they are?
Alas, college football analysts and
fans have requested for a playoff system. A playoff system would give
many excellent teams instead of only
two a shot for the title, and would also
do away with the possibility of split
champions. Hopefully, as years go by,
the impossible playoff system will replace the BCS and solve all the problems still occurring.
Beckham in the Major League
BY JONATHAN YEUNG
It’s official. On January 11th, David
Beckham signed the largest contract in
the history of Major League Soccer.
Over the next five years, the English
poster-boy will rake in about $250 million dollars (roughly, according to
Wikipedia, the average annual American income every eight hours) for advertisements, jersey sales, club stakes,
and last perhaps least, for playing soccer.
What began for Beckham as one of
the most illustrious careers in soccer has
turned sour in recent months. In 1992,
the young David made his first appearance for the most profitable sports franchise in the world, Manchester United.
A decade and eighty-five goals later,
he moved to Spanish powerhouse Real
Madrid, becoming the most recognizable soccer player in the world, primarily because of his drop-dead gorgeous
looks and also because of his magic on
the field. He was a two time FIFA world
player of the year runner-up, and his
team had won the premiership several
times. During his time at Real Madrid,
he became the team captain for England, and was even named a UNICEF
good will ambassador—these accomplishments (with the exception of the
last one) have earned him fame, glory,
and big bucks. But in recent months,
especially after England’s disappointing performance in the 2006 World
Cup, Beck’s career has taken a turn
for the worse. Whether the result of
Posh Spice’s distracting looks or simply old age (he’s 31), the star’s performance on the field has been less than
stellar. When he stepped down as captain of England after the World Cup,
the new manager immediately dropped
him from the squad.
Despite the setbacks, Beckham is
making his comeback with a move to
the L.A. Galaxy as his contract with
Madrid will expire after this season.
However, the comeback, unfortunately,
will probably only concern his image
Photo
Courtesy of
MyOpera.com
and financial income, not his soccer
abilities. Major League Soccer is considered a second rate league to the ones
in Europe and has been the end of the
road for some aging first-class players
who move simply to cling onto glory;
the so-called “fat Ronaldo” was also
considering a move to America. In the
next few years, you’re more likely to
see Beckham half naked on a billboard
in downtown Los Angeles rather than
see him score off his famous bend.
However, his move to the States has
a greater impact than just making him a
quarter billion dollars richer. Beckham’s
most powerful weapon is not his right
foot, but his celebrity status. Being the
most famous player to come across the
Atlantic, he can drive ticket sales and
draw new attention to the dwindling
MLS. His powerful image can increase
interest for a sport that has always been
overshadowed by football, baseball,
and basketball in this country. And if he
does manage to elevate soccer in
America, it would be the greatest accomplishment of his career; because of
this potential contribution, I must applaud his decision to come to Major
League Soccer.
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Teddy’s NBA Trivia Challenge
B Y T EDDY K LUG
1) Who was the first pick in
the 1990 NBA Draft? Where did
he attend college, who drafted him,
and what are his NBA career averages?
Grizzlies choose with the
franchise’s first pick in the 1995
NBA Draft and what pick was he?
Whom did the Grizzlies draft the
following year, where did he attend
college, what were his NBA career
averages, and what pick was he?
5) Name every NBA team
2) Name Michigan’s Fab Five
and their head coach. How many Greg Anthony has played for and
games did they win in two years, his tenure with each team.
and who was Michigan’s athletic
6) Which former NBA player
director at the time?
tattooed himself with famous Boo3) Who are considered, statis- merang cartoon characters, and,
tically, the top five best undrafted specifically, which characters did he
players now in the NBA and where choose to have tattooed?
did they attend college?
7) Name the four dynasties in
4) Whom did the Memphis NBA history and the years they
won the NBA Championship.
and the postseason? Despite those
numbers, Riley did not win Coach
8) Which were the only four of the Year honors until which seapeople present in the Bulls organi- son?
zation in each of their six championships?
12) Give me Dennis Rodman’s
full name, nickname, date of birth,
9) Who owns the three high- height, weight, the college he atest single-game assist totals re- tended, the NBA teams he played
corded in the NBA Finals, what are for, the number of games he played
they, and against which teams did for the Lakers in the ’98-99 seathey occur?
son, the number of games he played
for the Dallas Mavericks in the ’9910) Who is the NBA Finals ca- 00 season, and the season he avreer leader in steals and what is the eraged the most ppg. in his career.
exact number?
The winner will recieve a collectible
11) What was Pat Riley’s com- basketball figurine and gift certificate.
bined record as the Lakers head Turn in all answers to the Publication
coach, both in the regular season Office by Monday, January 22.
MUS Fencing to be Represented at the Junior Olympics
BY CHRIS MCDONALD
earned Bolich a spot at the National
Junior Olympics, to be held February
16-19 in Denver, Colorado, where he
will compete in the Men’s Under 20
Junior Épée Division. Freshman Barnes
Chism and Eight-Grader Chase
Schoelkopf competed in the state qualifier as well.
Fencing, a relatively new club sport
at MUS, is a fast-paced athletic competition as opposed to the choreographed type of fencing seen in mov-
ies. Competing on a 6-foot by 44-foot
“strip,” fencers execute maneuvers so
The MUS Fencing Club may still be
quickly that hits, or “touches,” must be
in development, but one MUS fencer
scored electronically.
is already helping MUS make its mark
Fencers, wearing electronically
on the state and national fencing scene.
wired vests as part of their uniforms, in
Junior Conor Bolich, a second-year
addition to facemasks, win a bout (as
Fencing Club member and captain of
an individual game is called) by either
the team, competed in the Tennessee
being the first to score 15 points or by
Junior Olympic Qualifying Event held
having the highest score when the time
on January 6 in Chattanooga and
limit is up. Each time a fencer hits his
placed third in his division. This win
opponent on the torso, he scores a
point. Depending on the weapon category being competed in, hits to the
arms and legs may or may not score
The time limit for a
fencing elimination match is nine minutes total over three three-minute periods, with a one-minute rest between
each period. Team matches involve
three-member teams competing one
after another in a relay fashion; each
team
member
fences
every opposing fencer. The team with
the highest score at the end of the
round wins.
Fencers compete using one of three
weapons: the foil, the épée or the saJunior Conor Bolich, left, fends off his opponent ber. While some fencers compete in
Bolich prepares for battle at the
TN Junior Olympic Qualifying Event
more than one category, most concentrate on one weapon. The foil is a lightweight, flexible sword like those used
for dueling in the past; the épée is a
heavier and stiffer version of the foil;
and the saber is a version of a heavier
cavalry sword.
Fencing not only is a physical game,
in which competitors try to outwit each
other through quick body and sword
movements, but also is a
mental contest, in which anticipating
moves and faking out opponents is part
of the competitive strategy.
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The Highly-Anticipated Nintendo Wii a Swing of Success
BY TED PARSONS
When Nintendo announced that
their next-generation console would
feature a motion-sensitive remote for
a controller, many, if not all who heard
it weren’t exactly impressed. In fact,
reactions ranged from disbelief to outright mockery. By October, however,
hardly a single word was said against
the Wii, as many had seen what was
held in store for it: an impressive
starting line up, innovative features
and unique game play. People began
to anticipate Nintendo’s comeback in
the so-called “console wars”; in fact,
on the day stores began taking reservations about a month before its
launch, most reservations in Memphis
were taken by noon. Heck, my dad
and I had to drive out to Mississippi to secure a Wii of my own.
But we got one, and on
Christmas Day I finally got to play it. I
wasn’t disappointed.
One rather
remarkable
characteristic of
the Wii is the
size of it. About as large as
three DVD cases stacked on
their sides, the Wii is the
smallest of the three next-gen
consoles. It’s enough for
one to marvel what it contains in such a small shape.
The Wii of course has the
usual disk slot, power
and reset buttons, but
there are three flaps on
the console. On the top
are four controller slots
and two memory card
slots for backward compatibility with the
Gamecube. The third
flap contains a Secure
Digital card slot
through which pictures and other
media can be loaded into the console.
When starting up the Wii for the first
time, the owner gives the console a
nickname, sets the internal clock, language, and the location of the sensor
bar for the controller relative to the
TV screen.
Aside from playing games, the Wii
has some interesting features: weather
forecasts, news updates, online shopping, and Mii creation. A “Mii” is the
player’s personal character with a
customizable appearance and is used
in certain games. A good example of
Mii usage is found in the game, Wii
Sports, where the player uses his Mii
to enjoy games of tennis, baseball,
golf, bowling, and boxing. All of these
demonstrate the potential the Wii has
with its unique controller: swing
the Wii Remote, the Mii
swings his racket, bat, club,
or bowling ball, or throws
the baseball or a punch.
While almost painfully simple, Wii Sports
is surprisingly enjoyable to both watch and
play. However, the
games do have a few
flaws. For example,
when pitching in baseball,
the player is instructed to
swing the controller as if
he were making an overhand throw, but the Wii
will register any form of
controller movement,
even a slight jab forward, and the pitch is
unaffected (the pitches
are determined by button combos, not controller movement). The
opposite, however, is
seen in golf: the Wii
doesn’t respond too
well to the controller’s
movement, regardless
of how the player
does so. This can be
frustrating, as the
Seniors John Carr and William Payne duke it out in Wii Boxing
force of your swing, unlike baseball
pitching or hitting a tennis ball, determines how hard the ball is hit. As a
result, a player may reach a point
where all is needed to sink the ball is
a light putt, but may swing the Wii
Remote several times without any
success, then grossly over swings and
sends the ball flying carelessly out of
bounds.
I had erroneously told others in
the past that one could use a traditional controller as opposed to the
standard Wii Remote. This is only the
case while playing a Gamecube game,
or playing games via Virtual Console,
an online service on the shopping
channel in which players can download games from previous Nintendo
systems (NES, Super NES, Sega
Genesis, and Nintendo 64). While the
title selection is limited, within a few
years, players will be able to download all their old favorites and play
games they may have missed the first
time around.
Also on the shopping channel,
players can download a free trial of
the Wii’s online service (the full, payto-use version isn’t released yet).
While it’s rather interesting to access
the Internet straight from the comfort
of your couch, the Internet Channel,
as it is called, has some setbacks. For
example, navigation is limited. The
only time you are able to type in a
URL is while at the “starting page”.
The other thing is that Internet Channel doesn’t seem to run Flash Player.
When visiting a page with a Flash on
it, the file will load, but you can’t interact with it, so if there is a “play”
button, you can’t play the Flash.
Hopefully these problems will be remedied in the full version.
So while I can’t honestly say it’s
better than the Xbox 360 or
Playstation 3, the Wii certainly is an
amazing value for the low cost of
$250. Overall, it’s an excellent console, and what little flaws it has are
very easily overlooked.
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The Italian Stallion Returns in Rocky Balboa
BY MUSTAFA MOTIWALA
I know what many are thinking
once they see the title: ANOTHER
Rocky movie? However, the new
Rocky is vastly different from the previous Rocky films and a bit of a
throwback to the original Rocky.
Rather than focusing more heavily on
the boxing and training aspect, Rocky
Balboa seems to concentrate on the
character of Rocky and provides a
gritty realism in a quiet and genuine
way, previously unseen in past Rocky
sequels.
The film, as always, focuses on yet
another comeback of the epic, yet decaying boxer played by Sylvester
Stallone, who now portrays Rocky
with a more mumbling persona, like
that of the first film. Burt Young makes
a strong return as Rocky’s brotherin-law, the pessimistic and grumpy
Paulie. Now played by Geraldine
Hughes, the character of Little Marie
from the first film also makes an interesting return, in an effort to show
how the old South Philadelphia neighborhood that the first film was set in
Photo Courtesy of imdb.com
Sylvester Stallone returns in triumph as Rocky Balboa
down, he is not out.
But of course, the actual fight represents a major struggle as well as the
crescendo in all excitement. At first,
the fight sets up as if you are watching a live pay-per-view feed, but as
the rounds progress, it becomes more
artistic and stylized with flashbacks
and concentrates on the actual fight
rather than on the commentary.
What is great about Rocky Balboa
is that it doesn’t act like anything its
not, much like Rocky himself. It
doesn’t pretend to be a ridiculously
epic film, but rather it digs up the old
Rocky franchise that Rocky V killed
and gives it a proper burial. It isn’t
necessarily an amazing film, but it
serves its purpose in putting the Rocky
franchise to rest and definitely makes
up for the absolute disappointment
that Rocky V was. For a fan of the
Rocky series, Rocky Balboa is highly
recommended even though it might
not please all viewers.
Mustafa gives this film 3.5 out
of 5 buzzards.
has changed. Tired of being in his
dad’s shadow, Rocky Jr. (Milo
Ventimiglia) supports yet is still doubtful of his father’s comeback.
However, Rocky makes this
comeback not for financial gain or
media status, but to alleviate himself
from haunting ghosts of the past after
a computer generated fight declares
Rocky the victor in the outcome of a
fight between the current heavyweight
champion, Mason “The Line” Dixon
(Antonio Tarver). However, news of
his return soon gets out and he finds
himself pitted in a highly publicized
exhibition match against Mason
Dixon. Throughout the film, Rocky is
seen as fighting many conflicts: struggling to give back to his community,
fixing the emotional rift in his relationship with his son, and showing the
world that even though he is knocked
similarities to other football movies by
using the story of an underdog team
that rallies behind a charismatic coach
and suffers early on-field embarrassment, only to rally for the all-important big game, this movie had so much
more by also including stories of the
families of the players who died in the
crash. The acting in this film is terrific, not only by McConaughey but
also by supporting actors including
Matthew Fox as assistant coach Red
Dawson and Anthony Mackie as team
captain Nate Ruffin.
The only problems with We Are
Marshall are scenes in the movie that
seemed to only exist in order to show
a certain person crying. These scenes
were not needed and made the film
slightly boring. Overall this was a very
good movie, and even though there movie that everyone should see.
were some unnecessary scenes, the
Ryan gives this film 4 out of 5
story of the Marshall University and buzzards.
their return to football even after an
unimaginable tragedy creates a great
McConaughey and Fox Inspire in We Are Marshall
BY RYAN SAHAROVICH
On Nov. 14, 1970, an airplane
carrying Marshall University football
players, coaches and fans crashed.
Seventy-five people died, as did a
very large part of the heart of Huntington, West Virginia. We Are
Marshall follows the resurrection of
the Marshall football team and the city
of Huntington. This is more than a
simple football movie; it is not about
winning or losing the game, but finding the strength to move on in the face
of tragedy. This film was an amazing
tribute to Coach Jack Lengyel,
played by Mathew McConaughey,
and his passion to beat the odds and
disprove all of the doubters.
Even though this film had some
Photo Courtesy of TheGazz.com
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K-Fed: A True American Underdog Story
BY PETER TRAVIS
Now that the grief and mourning
is almost over, I feel it’s appropriate
to talk about one of the great tragedies of 2006: the separation of
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.
When I received the devastating news
that the two had filed for divorce, I
began thinking about their two-year
legacy.
It all started on a summer night in
2004 when Britney Spears, the once
innocent pop queen, wandered into
the Fresno County trailer park and
rapped on K-Fed’s screen door. A
disgruntled K-Fed, interrupted from
the Price is Right, meandered to the
door and opened it to find Britney on
one knee proposing to him. He knew
something was wrong with this picture, but when a multi-million dollar
popstar offers to buy her own engagement ring for herself, you don’t
say no. Thus, the perfect couple was
born, and with it came the perfect
wedding in a Vegas drive thru Chapel,
where K-Fed wore a baggy undershirt, and Britney sported a Hello
Kitty tank top. Their relationship was
tested early on when Britney found
out about the child support that K-
Fed was sending to actress Shar
Jackson, co-star of the Nickelodeon
film Good Burger. Spears said it
didn’t bother her because Good
Burger was actually her favorite
movie.
Kevin and Britney’s relationship
took a serious step when Britney
gave birth to their first son, Sean
Preston, followed by his brother,
Jayden James, in 2006. With two kids
being too much to handle, the couple
soon developed an effective plan
where they neglected only one of the
boys each day while focusing their
attention to the other.
On October 31, Kevin released
his first hip-hop album, Playing with
Fire, which contained lyrics about
how much he loves drugs, partying,
and his wife, in that order. The critics
slaughtered the album that debuted
at #151 on the Billboard 200 and
sold a mere 6,500 copies its opening
week, only about one-fifth of the
34,000 sold copies of William Hung’s
first album. With the terrible album
reception, Britney finally realized that
K-Fed was more in love with failure
than her. And so in November,
Britney invented a new form of divorce, the text-message divorce. K-
Photo Courtesy of Side2.no
Fed tried to reason with her, texting
back, but Britney just shut her phone
and continued to drive down the highway with her two sons safely in her
lap.
In the aftermath of the break-up,
K-Fed found his new place in professional wrestling, challenging WWE
Heavyweight Champion John Cena.
Federline took advantage of the “no
disqualification” match by befriending the Samaon Bulldozer, Umaga,
who ultimately won the match for
Federline.
Some people look at Kevin
Federline and see a Hollywood outsider with an extended 15 minutes of
fame. I see something more; I see
something American. I can’t help but
think that Kevin Federline is living the
new American Dream, mooching off
an excessively rich person only to
bask in his own sloth and nothingness.
K-Fed has defied all odds to go from
rags to riches, and I salute his brave
dedication to the American tradition.
The Senioritis Epidemic Strikes Again!
BY JEFFREY WEBB
On Wednesday, January 3, I returned to Memphis University School
with a smile on my face and a bounce
in my step. What was the cause of my
odd departure from the usual pessimistic
overreactions that fill my days? Sadly,
this happiness did not come from the
joy I would feel from receiving my
graded Thompson exam in AP Poetry
(which was in fact dismal) or the knowledge that I would be forced to run the
annual Cooper Test (two miles in fourteen minutes) for Coach Beck. No, I
was happy because I was beginning the
second semester of my senior year, and
I, like all of my senior comrades, was
coming down a serious case of
senioritis.
According to Wikipedia, (I was too
lazy to use a real encyclopedia – that
takes way too much time) senioritis is
not recognized as an actual disease by
the American Psychological Association; however, all one has to do is take
a look at a member of the class of ’07
to see its effects. The symptoms of
senioritis are quite simple to see. Students demonstrate a general apathy towards all academic endeavors, especially assignments that require research,
contemplation, or any sort of hard
work. Work turned in by seniors is
characterized by an evident lack of effort and an air of indifference towards
the outcome. This is only seen, however, if the student actually finishes the
assignment at all.
Seniors will begin taking cuts in
reckless manners, in some cases missing entire days of school. As senior and
future Commodore John Stokes said,
“By the end of this semester, if I don’t
have any cuts left, I’m just going to skip
class and take the three point penalty.”
Also, the percentage of seniors in the
lounge at any given time has increased
drastically from before Winter Break,
resulting in extraordinarily long lines for
Super Smash Brothers.
While the symptoms of senioritis are
simple, the causes are somewhat more
complex. For the typical student, the
effects set in after submitting his last
college application(s). While this may
seem like the only reason for the seniors’ lethargic behavior, my extensive
research shows…
Editors’ Note: Jeffrey Webb
did not actually finish his article
assignment. Despite our numerous calls and threats, he decided
it just wasn’t worth the effort. We
apologize for the incomplete nature of this article.
- Chris and Jonathan
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Wilson’s Top Ten Albums of 2006
BY WILSON CASTLEMAN
1) The Mars Volta - Amputechture
bums, Muse’s latest is the most brilliant
yet, taking the occasional theatrics of
their past work to new heights for an
exciting, epic album that has to be heard
to be believed.
Best track: “Take A Bow”
4) Mastodon – Blood Mountain
Lateralus, leaves an unsatisfying void.
6) John Mayer - Continuum
Best track: “Rosetta Stoned”
It’s about time the world knew that
despite a few cheesy songs on the ra10) IAMX - The Alternative
dio, John Mayer is one of the most talented musicians and songwriters of our
time. Continuum takes Mayer’s love
for jazz and blues to a completely new
level in his music, making for his most
mature and undoubtedly best album.
Best track: “In Repair”
7) Arctic Monkeys - Whatever
People Say I Am, That’s What I’m
Not
I had my doubts about this album,
but The Mars Volta tops this year’s list
for the second year in a row, taking their
no limits progressive rock, well, past
the limits. Somehow managing to top
last year’s masterpiece, Frances the
Mute, The Mars Volta have proven yet
again that just when you think they can’t
get any better, they do. Album of the
year.
Best track: “Tetragrammaton”
2) Agalloch - Ashes Against the
Grain
Just barely falling short of #1,
Agalloch’s third album is their masterpiece, combining doom and black metal
with a hint of folk music that immerses
the listener into a cold, beautiful, slowburning storm.
Best track: “Not Unlike the
Waves”
Mastodon finally broke through with
a genius third album. These insanely
talented Georgia natives brew up a willfully unclassifiable brand of metal, complete with largely nonsensical lyrics and
wild instrumental breaks.
Best track: “Circle of
It’s easy to be put off by the hype
Cysquatch”
and dismiss them, but the truth is that
the Arctic Monkeys’ debut album is in5) The Format – Dog Problems deed a completely fantastic album from
start to finish. While it benefits from an
amazing fun factor, it’s also song-forsong a very consistent and diverse album.
Best track: “Fake Tales of San
Francisco”
8) Beck – The Information
One of the most eclectic artists of
3) Muse - Black Holes and Revall time, Beck’s latest album is nothing
elations
less than the best. Though it relies more
on electronics than any of his other alThe Format’s sophomore album is bums, The Information is without a
without a doubt the happiest album of doubt his most diverse.
the year. Combining a simple rock backBest track: “We Dance Alone”
drop with a brass band, strings, and
harmonicas, among other things, Dog
9) Tool – 10,000 Days
Problems takes the listener through a
Powerful and epic music is what you
whirlwind of jubilant greatness that expect from Tool, and it’s ubiquitous in
sounds fresh on every song.
10,000 Days. While the album is enBest track: “I’m Actual”
joyable from beginning to end, the lack
of progression from their last album,
On the heels of three fantastic al-
Sneaker Pimp’s singer Chris
Corner’s second solo album as IAMX
is surprisngly stronger than any of his
former group’s albums, even though he
doesn’t do anything profoundly different without the confines of the band.
Best track: “Spit It Out”
Honorable Mention:
11) Converge – No Heroes
12) RHCP – Stadium Arcadium
13) Keane – Under the Iron Sea
14) Damien Rice – 9
15) She Wants Revenge – She Wants
Revenge
16) Mogwai – Mr. Beast
17) Jet – Shine On
18) The Decemberists – The Crane
Wife
19) Gnarls Barkley – St. Elsewhere
20) Incubus – Light Grenades
Best Debut: This Will Destroy You
Worst Band: Trivium
Top 5 Singles:
1) Massive Attack - Live With Me
2) John Mayer - Waiting On the World
To Change
3) Chris Cornell - You Know My Name
4) Muse - Knights of Cydonia
5) Arctic Monkeys - I Bet You Look
Good On the Dancefloor
All photos courtesy of wikipedia.org.
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The Best Movies of 2006
BY ALEXANDER FONES AND WILL
MAYS
1) Thank You for Smoking
This film came out of nowhere despite having some of Hollywood’s most
publicized A-listers. A superbly stylized
satire of a current hot button issue, the
war between tobacco companies and
anti-smoking legislation, takes a surprisingly unbiased position, giving both
sides their fair share of jabs. The only
legitimately likable person in this cruel,
fast-paced, winding world of advertising and politics is Nick Naylor (Aaron
Eckhart), a Big Tobacco’s leading lobbyist. Thank You For Smoking also
includes some of the funniest dialogue
of the year with a complexity reserved
mainly for drama. Naylor, with his
amoral attitude and assertive swagger,
dominates the screen as the head cheerleader for America’s top murderer, yet
he still comes across as human enough
with his genuine smile and shrewd arguments for Big Tobacco. Eckhart
charms as the protagonist, but Smoking still boasts an ensemble of colorful
characters portrayed by such talents as
Robert Duvall, Cameron Bright, Adam
Brody, William H. Macy, Katie
Holmes, Rob Lowe, et al. The film not
only stands as a new forerunner for
modern satire in Hollywood, but further succeeds in changing a heated debate into a personal, provocative, hilarious experience.
2) V for Vendetta (Tie)
We just could not decide how to
rank these two, as they are both masterpieces. We compromised with a tie.
V for Vendetta is possibly the only
film that will get you to root for the terrorist in today’s post-9/11 world. Of
course, you can just as easily slap the
term “revolutionary” to the film’s
masked protagonist, V, and this was
clearly the Wachowski brothers’ (Matrix Trilogy) aim when they wrote the
screenplay. This is James McTeigue’s
first time behind the chair as head director, and, I must say, the man was
born for the job. Beyond the special
effects and jaw-dropping shots
McTeigue envisioned, the real reason
V for Vendetta is ranked so high on
our list is the fact that Hugo Weaving
has delivered arguably one of the best
performances of the millennium, all
while being behind a porcelain Guy
Fawkes mask. The film is based on the
comic of the same name, and the film
follows the trend set by Sin City and
Batman Begins in proving that comic
books can be made into good films.
All in all, V for Vendetta does everything right at all the right times.
ing such an ensemble piece could be
constructed along with Mark Wahlberg
(who becomes possibly the best supporting character ever), Martin Sheen,
Alec Baldwin, and newcomer Vera
Farmiga. I smell Oscar for Scorsese
(clichéd, so knock on wood) and possibly for DiCaprio. The only reason this
is not our number one is that The Departed feels as if Scorsese just walked
blindfolded onto the set and pieced it
together shot by shot.
4) Little Miss Sunshine
This film’s refreshing take on discerning the thin line between love and
selfishness in a dysfunctional family is a
celebration of overcoming shortcomings, and is quite a brilliant shindig at
that. Each character is brazenly original and utterly hilarious, yet the film’s
knack for stirring drama is just as potent as its comedy. The obvious draws
to this film are stars Greg Kinnear and
Steve Carell, but Sunshine is far from
any Hollywood comedy. The film succeeds at making a ridiculous family seem
real, and the subtle satire is a slow burning fire of passive-aggressive takes on
America. Seeing that this is the first feature film for the directing team of
2) The Departed (Tie)
Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris (they
The Departed is an adaptation of were music video directors), the film is
2002 Hong Kong blockbuster Infer- an exceptional start to what I hope will
nal Affairs, but is set in Boston and be a long-running pattern of excellence.
directed by the sensei of everything
gangster, Martin Scorsese. I won’t at5) Brick
tempt to reveal anything crucial, but the
Good noir is just hard to find these
film is so good with its gritty, black hu- days, but there’s something so undenimor that even without the twist(s) it will ably fresh about Brick, the directorial
melt faces. Scorsese once again casts debut of Rian Johnson. It could be the
The Aviator’s Leonardo DiCaprio as absolutely breathtaking dialogue (that’s
the leading role as William Costigan, so good that Quentin Tarantino himself
who is assigned to be a mole in the gang should be jealous) Johnson himself
of Boston’s most dangerous Irish mob- wrote, or it could be that this film is just
ster Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson). incredible. Brick weaves a tale of sex
Colin Sullivan (Matt Damon) becomes and drugs, and it puts a whole new spin
Costigan’s antithesis as a mole for the on high school society. The film feels
mob in the police department, and soon like something Dashiell Hammett
the two are searching desperately for churned out to show the 21st century
the identity of the other. In a film toting how a good detective story should pan
the previously named egos, it is amaz- out despite the fact all the characters
are students. After all, the protagonist,
Brendan (Joseph Gordan-Levitt), is just
as sly as any Sam Spade or Nick
Charles as he rifles through the 30’s
dialogue. The film merits two viewings
just to catch all the dialogue, and it continues to surprise with every viewing.
Honorable Mention: Casino
Royale
The twenty-first Bond film
succesfully revices the classic franchise.
Recently, American audiences have
been treated to reboots and rebirths of
consistent blockbuster series; Casino
Royale re-imagines Bond’s origins at
MI6 and his transformation to the womanizing, debonair, and homicidal gentleman that is loved internationally. After
Pierce Brosnan completed his last Bond
film, the studio’s head honchos thought
this one out and brought back New
Zealand director Martin Campbell of
Goldeneye (1995) fame to usher in the
new Bond, Daniel Craig. Craig, while
prodded for his blond hair by the media, presents the most intriguing and unrelenting portrayal of 007 since Sean
Connery. The film begins with an amazing free running chase scene and just
builds upon itself until the credits. Eva
Green is now our most favorite Bond
girl (a tough competition since both of
us had a thing for Xenia Onatopp), and
the chemistry between her and Craig is
stimulating on many levels.
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The Worst Movies of 2006
BY ALEXANDER FONES AND WILL
MAYS
5) The Black Dahlia
questions, not wondering “what’s gonna
happen next?” kept us watching despite
the overall botched screenplay and listless villains. The media evisceration of
this film will hopefully discourage the
continuation of the franchise.
2) When a Stranger Calls
3) X3: The Last Stand
I would like to make something very
clear: this film could very easily have
been a contender for a best-picture
award. It had everything going for it,
Aaron Eckhart (see Thank You for
Smoking), Scarlett Johannson (look up
“gorgeous” and “talented”), Josh
Hartnett (Sin City anyone?), and Hillary
Swank (best actress from less than a
year ago) with Brian De-Palma
(Scarface, The Untouchables, et al.)
behind the camera. Instead of the stimulating noir that I was expecting, I was
met with a wimpy male lead (Hartnett),
abhorrent acting (Swank), and a plot
that made me want to bang my head
against my seat. It wasn’t awful though,
but it was just entirely way too much
wasted potential.
4) The Da Vinci Code
Arguably, 2006’s biggest flop (not
financially, but morally) was Ron
Howard’s take on Dan Brown’s bestselling thriller of the same name. The
film just simply fails to enlighten or even
celebrate the book, rather detracting
most of the mystique of the novel that
has inspired so much controversy. Since
when did mental highlighting become a
superpower? Why did Tom Hanks
trade in his fleshy body for that of an
emotionless wooden mannequin? These
If I had not liked the summer blockbuster Superman Returns so much, I
would execute a vendetta on Bryan
Singer for leaving the X-Men franchise
to helm the Superman project. His absence left Avi Arad, producer of all
Marvel Comics films, no choice but to
bring in Brett Ratner, a veteran of such
classics as Rush Hour and The Family Man. For those solely interested in
flashy special effects, X3 certainly does
not fail to delight. However, anyone
looking for clever plot devices, moral
questioning, allegories to modern society, well-done adaptations of comic
book storylines, talented acting, intriguing dialogue, intelligent casting, competent direction, cohesion, similarity to the
comic book, and decent screenwriting
that doesn’t kill off well-established
characters in the first half hour (a crime
X3 perpetrates not once, but three
times!) should probably just go see Superman Returns or V for Vendetta.
And guess what? Three spin-off franchises are already in the works, just like
the comics! At least the comics have
good pictures…
How can one movie be so boring?
There is absolutely nothing original
about this piece of triteness, not to mention that I almost couldn’t endure the
agonizing borefest on screen. The state
of American horror and suspense movies is at an absolute low, and director
Simon West should be ashamed for
even attempting to remake a film people
didn’t even like when it came out in
1979. It’s even more appalling that the
remake is worse than the original! Fact:
Camilla Belle cannot act. Fact: there is
nothing remotely interesting about this
film. Fact: a viewing of this celebration
of monotony should replace early
schools as a punishment.
1) Pulse
I am going to try to refrain from ranting, but I really must ask, “when will
Hollywood get off its rear and stop turning Japanese horror into an easy outlet
for some of the most despicable attempts at horror since When a
Stranger Calls?” There is not an ounce
of originality left in the American horror
market, and Pulse is a brilliant testimony to the sheer audacity Hollywood
has to make such blaringly bad films.
This is a by-the-books remake of a
semi-respectable Japanese film, and the
remake fails to do anything even remotely innovative, nor does the viewer
have any sort of sympathy for Kristen
Bell and her posse of bumbling fools as
they’re slowly but surely picked off by
evil spirits. So to director Jim Sonzero:
Thank you for bringing yet another
ninety minutes of generic, mind-numbing hideousness into the world.
The Uwe Boll Award for Special
Achievements in Horrible Film
Making: BloodRayne
Mr. Uwe Boll has really outdone
himself in his latest adaptation of a semipopular videogame franchise.
BloodRayne relies on a poorly told
vampire tale that’s carried out worse
than most kindergarten plays, yet the
poor quality is even more of an enticement than the film itself. After all, there’s
nothing more fun than bashing truly disgraceful films. For those of you who
are unfamiliar with the Evil Lord of the
Nether-film Region, then you probably
haven’t seen House of the Dead or
Alone in the Dark, other Boll masterpieces. BloodRayne is one of those
films that I simply cannot watch in just
one sitting thanks to its inherent ability
to make me crack up at every other
frame. Yes, the mere thought of Uwe
Boll is itself downright hilarious, but this
film does more, going above and beyond the normal standards of just how
terrible a movie really can be.
All photos on pages 14 and 15 courtesy of wikipedia.org.
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