December 2015

Transcription

December 2015

December 2015
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RC 390
AKA “Li’l Ricky”
390 Duke
AKA “Chuckles”
Dirtbag Challenge • This Budman’s For You • CMSP Advisory Committee Meeting • IMS In The Sac
Sympathy for Sean McGinnis • Return Of The Rattler • VNM Sport Gear • CityBike Book Club
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Reliable, timely service at
reasonable rates on all
makes of motorcycles
Visit our new shop:
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LLY
990 Terminal Way, San Carlos
IN
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December 2015 | 2 | CityBike.com
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News, Clues & Rumors
Volume XXXII, Issue 12
Publication Date: November 16, 2015
On The Cover:
KTM’s littlest streekbikes (here in the US,
anyway) facing out on San Antonio Road.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
Contents:
NCR. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Pit Stops . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Uneasy Rider . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
New Stuff . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Events. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
The Littlest Duke . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Arr, See?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Baggin’ The Dirt . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17
Devine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Doc Frazier . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21
Maynard . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22
Hertfelder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Classifieds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Slap-drunk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Last Page Photo . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
RC 390 Crashability Study . . . . . . . . . 29
Find us online at:
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CityBike Staff:
PO Box 18738
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Phone: 415.282.2790
Editorial: [email protected]
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Editor in Chief & Jackass of All Trades: Surj Gish
Master of Puppets & Layout: Angelica Rubalcaba
Senior Editor: Robert Stokstad
Contributing Editors: John Joss, Will Guyan,
Courtney Olive
Chief of the World Adventure Affairs Desk:
Dr. Gregory Frazier
Staff Photographers: Robert Stokstad,
Angelica Rubalcaba
Illustrations: Mr. Jensen
Operations: Gwynne Fitzsimmons
Road Scholars:
J. Brandon, Sam Devine, Jeff Ebner,
An DeYoung, Max Klein
Contributors:
Dan Baizer, Craig Bessenger,
Blaise Descollonges, Dirck Edge, Julian Farnam,
Alonzo Fumar, Will Guyan, Brian Halton,
David Hough, Maynard Hershon, Ed Hertfelder,
Otto Hofmann, Jon Jensen, Bill Klein,
David Lander, Lucien Lewis, Larry Orlick,
Jason Potts, Bob Pushwa, Gary Rather,
Curt Relick, Charlie Rauseo, Mike Solis,
Ivan Thelin, James Thurber.
Alumni (RIP):
John D’India, Joe Glydon, Gary Jaehne,
Adam Wade
Back Issues: $5, limited availability
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$5/page. No, we will not mail you our last copy for free just because your
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©2015, CityBike Magazine, Inc. Citybike Magazine is distributed at over
200 places throughout California each month. Taking more than a few
copies at any one place without permission from CityBike Magazine, Inc,
especially for purposes of recycling, is theft and will be prosecuted to the
full extent of civil and criminal law. Yeah!
CityBike magazine is owned by CityBike Magazine, Inc and has teams of
sleep-deprived, coke-addicted attorneys ready to defend it from frivolous
lawsuits, so even if you see Lucien Lewis doing one of his wheelies on
the cover and decide you want to do that too and then you hit a parked car
and your bike is wedged under a van and it catches fire and the Vallejo FD
has to come and extinguish the resulting blaze and four cars and your bike
are melted into slag and you suffer permanent trauma including a twisted
pinkie, sleeplessness and night terrors, it’s not CityBike Magazine Inc.’s
fault and we don’t have any assets so just suck on it. You know better.
Photo Of The Month: Spirit Of
First Annual (?) Fuck Black
The Sunday Morning Ride, 1976 Friday Ride
You guys remember Ben from SF—the
dude that periodically sends us care
packages with a bunch of photos from
the olden days on disk and a binder with
copious notes about each photo: year,
location, details. He recently sent us his
third package, with 197 documented
photos.
We’ll probably have to give this a different,
maybe slightly less offensive name,
assuming anyone shows up and we keep
doing it. But we kept having these “fuck
Black Friday, let’s go riding” conversations
around CityBike HQ and decided that
instead of just spitting potty-mouthed
Photo: Ben from SF
Think about that
for a sec. In a time
when the maximum
level of effort from
most amateur
photographers
is “point phone,
click, post on
Instafacepalm,”
Ben from SF asked
not what CityBike
could do for him,
but what he could
do for CityBike.
He’s now scanned
hundreds of actual,
physical old timey
photographs,
documented the background of each, and
sent ‘em to us.
Thank you, Ben! We love this stuff.
BARF On The AMA (Magazine
Cover)
The dominance of the AMA’s cover space
by Bay Area motorcyclists continues.
First, Editor Surj graced the cover of the
May issue in high-vis Aerostich glory, and
now Budman, AKA Dennis Kobza, AKA
“the guy that runs BARF,” AKA “the guy
that’s on the CMSP Advisory Committee
and is responsible for
a lot of the good stuff
that’s been going on
with lane splitting in
California for the last
couple years,” shows up
on the cover as a result of
his inclusion in an article
entitled “Motorcycling’s
Innovators” in the
November 2015 issue.
His piece, under
“Advocacy” is too short to
give him the credit he’s due
for all he’s accomplished,
from giving motorcyclists
something to do—
BARFing—while they’re
stuck at work, to all the
aforementioned advocacy.
Our own An DeYoung
attended the CMSP Advisory
Committee meeting for
CityBike this year (see page
5 for the story), and especially since that’s a
once annually thing, strong representation
is critical for us.
For all you do, this Budman’s for you.
Thanks, Dennis!
about CASA (Court Appointed Special
Advocates) at casaofalamedacounty.org,
but trust us—they’re doing good work.
Check our Facebook page for details as we
figure ‘em out: facebook.com/citybikemag.
Hope to see you there!
New ShittyBike Shirts
Yeah, two profane headlines in a row.
Sorry, Larry! And guess what—these aren’t
even actually ShittyBike
t-shirts.
What we mean is, the
“ShittyBike San Francisco”
thing on the back is gone.
Look, we love that shit,
and everyone who’s anyone
knows that toilet humor is
the funniest humor there
is, but the reality is that not
every reader of this thing
wants to run around with
that shit on their back.
rebellion into the wind, we’d make a thing
of it. Ride Friday Give Back or whatever.
Hey, that’s better already!
So here’s the deal: we’re gonna meet at
Middle Harbor Shoreline Park at 10 AM
on Black Friday, and head out for a mellow
ride. The route is still in the works, most
likely through the East Bay hills, but we’ll
end up at Lanesplitter in Emeryville for
pizza and hang time. The generous folks
at Lanesplitter will cover the first ten tasty
pies, which is gonna be an awful lot of
So when one longtime fan
recently said, “CityBike isn’t
shitty any more,” we took
that shit to heart.
Oh snap! For reals? Yes. Sorry, uh…
everyone.
Also, we’re not really just an SF thing, at
least in part because CityBike can’t afford
The City any more, and as you know, we’re
extremely concerned about being factual
and truthful, so rather than changing the
shirts to say something like “ShittyBike
Greater San Francisco Bay Area and
Beyond” we decided to try something new.
So what is this new shit? You’ll have to go
to citybike.com/citybike-shirts.html to
find out.
Fans of the original shitty design, don’t fret.
Those shirts are still available. For now. We
haven’t decided whether we’ll keep making
‘em, though, so get ‘em while the gettin’s
shitty, son.
Sympathy for Sean McGinnis
Many of San Francisco’s moto-community
feel sympathy for the Ducati rider who has
been charged with killing a pedestrian.
Anyone who has experience navigating
the twisty, hilly streets of San Francisco
knows first hand the cluelessness that is
endemic to 90% of those using their soles
as their means of transport. People leave
their hearts in San Francisco, but they
forget to bring their heads. Perhaps there
is something in the way that the pavement
interacts with the soles of the shoes of
people walking around in this showpiece of
American culture.
pizzas for the Wrecking Crew to eat on our
The Wrecking Crew have ridden and
own, so hopefully a few of you will show up.
driven literally hundreds of thousands
of miles through the peninsula-city as
As for the giving back, we’re asking for at
motorcyclists, tour bus operators, taxi
least a $20 donation from each rider, and
we’ll be giving the entire amount to CASA driver, delivery persons, and we know the
streets about as good as anyone who can
of Alameda County. You can learn more
still afford to live there. And one of the
things that you learn first when operating a
moving vehicle in SF is that the pedestrian
is a sort of divine being blessed by Creation
Supreme with the right to cause the cars
to come to a screeching halt by placing his
holy foot in a crosswalk.
Photo: Sam Devine
Brian Wright: Thrown Away More Trophies Than Most Have
Won
“I’m not a big trophy guy. Unless it’s a trophy that just really blows my mind I’m
probably not gonna keep it. At some show up north I won a trophy for best custom.
And after I moved it three or four times, I just tossed it. “
That’s probably what happens with most trophies, really.
“Yeah, I don’t build cars for trophies. I build ‘em to be one of the cool guys. Same
thing with bikes. When they see me going through town, I like that.”
So, is there a difference between cars and bikes?
“Absolutely. I enjoy the bikes a lot more.”
Yeah? Why’s that?
“Well, they’re cheaper. Buying two tires is a lot cheaper than buying four. They’re a
little easier to get around and work on. And they go together a lot faster. For me to
build something like this truck it takes nine months, maybe a year. I can throw a bike
together in a month if I’m motivated.”
So how many Dirtbags now?
But the dumbest of the dumb is when a
void-brained blockhead pedestrian walks
right in front a speeding motorcycle
expecting the rider to do some framesnapping “question mark maneuver” that
defies the laws of physics. Apparently
San Franciscans think that a speeding
iron missile propelled by an internal
combustion-driven mother and balanced
upon two rubber tires is more like a
computerized animation from a child’s
fantasy film.
The stupidity of the pedestrian towards
any driver (even though Mr. Pedestrian’s
car is just around the corner) appears
accelerated when the San Franciscan puts
his foot out in front of a motorcyclist.
Consider the utterly murderous hick slob
who swerved towards a riding couple
enjoying their two wheels, and sent the pair
into the scenery with serious injuries. The
moron (who has been charged) declared
“I don’t care” to the rider who filmed the
attempted murder. At which point the rider
with the helmet-cam informed Mr. Hick
that he was “a really fucking dumb dude.”
chrome and plastics and demanding
“Pedestrian Rights” in impossibly absurd
circumstances. And this could be a
possible scenario in any motorcyclistpedestrian collision because many who
ride in San Francisco—still America’s most
motorcycle city—have had similar nearmiss experiences. Therefore, we say the
community needs to support Mr. McGiniss
if only for a vote to keep some semblance
of common sense alive in the saga he is
undergoing.
- Miles Davis
Have You Seen Our Rack?
We received a strange phone call in midOctober, from someone claiming to know
the whereabouts of one of our racks, that
we didn’t actually know went missing, and
offering assistance in reacquiring said rack
in exchange for the five thousand dollar
reward.
Huh? Sure, buddy, if you’ve got one or our
racks, we want it back, but we aren’t gonna
give you five grand for it. But yeah, pal, get
us more info. We’ll pay you some kind of
reward.
The rack was supposedly being rolled
around the alleys of San Francisco by
someone who is “sort of homeless.” Our
greedy new friend claimed he knew this
person: “some of my friends have dated
him” but didn’t know his name, or actual
location.
Such episodes show that there is a preexisting stereotypical view of motorcyclists
that can really ignite when some people
Shortly after, we hear from Tokyo Moto
risk their lives by putting foot in front of
that their rack has disappeared, rolled away
a bullet of two-wheeled speeding metal,
during the day. Now we’re pissed—this
“Successfully? Let’s see there was last year… Well, I’ve made it more than I haven’t
made it. I wanna say that I’ve done it four times.”
How many bikes have you worked on that were at the East Bay Rats show?
“At that show, I think just three.”
Interesting carb setup on one of those bikes…
“Yeah, I don’t usually do pods. I do a log intake and then just run two pods for four
carbs, one on each side. It’s kinda like the air volume going into each carb seems to
even out a little bit and you get a better running bike. I always go up a couple sizes on
the mains.”
What was your first bike?
“First motorcycle or first two wheels with a motor? Cause I had the Briggs and
Stratton mini bike. That was my first two wheels. Five horsepower, man, and when
the muffler fell off, my dad had an old chrome air horn and he cut that off and he
clamped it on there so I had a big blooey pipe on it. Man, you could hear me blocks
away. That thing was so loud. The handlebars broke off. I took it to a welding shop
and the guy just put a mound of braze over the whole handlebar to get it to stick. I
don’t know how he did it, what he welded it with but he got done and you know, it
didn’t fall apart anymore.”
- Sam Devine
Photo: Surj Gish
is one of our old custom racks, a seriously
badass piece of work to rival most of the
home equity-funded choppers built in the
nineties and early two-thousands, that
apparently still get out of the garage once a
year for the Love Ride.
We call the dude—Josh—
back, and tell him we’ve
got more info, and we
definitely want his
help. He starts
acting—
surprise,
surprise—like
a methed-out
spider monkey,
alternating
between “when
do I get my
reward” and
“get off my back,
man.”
By this time,
our Facebook
post about our
missing rack has
been shared quite
a bit, and every
motorcyclist in
San Francisco is
looking for it.
Ok, that’s perhaps a little
optimistic, but it turns out that the
motorcyclist that mattered had their eyes
open. One of Tokyo Moto’s customers,
and presumably one of our readers, who
we’ll call Anonymous Hero, since we don’t
know their name, spotted our rack in the
Tenderloin, being pushed by someone
whose name we also don’t know—we’ll
call him Anonymous Crackhead.
Maybe-empty threats of violence aside, we
talked with Linda about “the change” at
Helimot, and she told us that the last few
weeks, especially the week right before
Halloween (the deadline) have been crazy,
with people lined up to get fitted while they
still can.
“It was sort of a frenzy. Right now
the sewing machines are smoking,
and Helmut’s hair is on fire, getting
all those suits made. This will
continue at least through the
end of March. We have
some big changes taking
place at Helimot in the
very near future. We will
be out of the suit business,
BUT NOT OUT OF
BUSINESS.”
Everyone get that? NOT
OUT OF BUSINESS.
“The store will be
rearranged and updated.
We’re a brick and mortar
store and we want to have
a serious stock of boots,
gloves, back protectors,
and a number of other
things so Bay Area
motorcyclists can come
in and get properly fitted
the first time, rather than trying to deal
with sizes over the internet. We will, of
course, also have an internet presence, and
a new website.”
In addition to NOT GOING OUT OF
BUSINESS, Helimot will be stocking a
more extensive line of Daytona boots,
including a new short model. Or rather,
boot. Models are usually tall, we’re told.
2016 Aprilia RSV4 RF
Limited Edition. Only 200 in North America.
In stock NOW.
CALL 510.594.0789
© Piaggio Group Americas, Inc. 2015. Aprilia ® is a U.S. and worldwide registered
trademark of the Piaggio Group of companies. Obey local trafﬁc safety laws and always wear a
helmet, appropriate eyewear and proper apparel.
I am changing the business structure of
my shop effective January 2016. This new
structure will allow me to take a personal
sabbatical to be a full time mother raising
my 3 year old son and 4 year old daughter.”
The shop will no longer be open to the
public—Jenn will concentrate on repairs
for personal clients, teaching motorcycle
repair to individuals on a one-to-one basis,
and other motorcycle related projects in
the wider Bay Area.
This change will take effect by January
1st, 2016. Repair requests will be accepted
at the current 17th Street location through
December 1st, 2015. After that, private
clients only. Want to be one of those
clients? Email [email protected]
to discuss any mentoring, teaching, or
repair work desired.
Jenn also said, “I want to thank every
friend and client that has touched my life
in the last 22 years
Anonymous Hero confronted Anonymous Helmut and the Helimot crew cranki
ng out
for the wonderful
the last of the suits.
Crackhead, took the rack and defended
experience I
it against further insult and injury until
had
with the
SFPD showed up. Tokyo Moto picked
motorcycle
it up from SFPD, and all is well in San
community of
Francisco again.
San Francisco
Thank you, Anonymous Hero for
and beyond. It has
reclaiming our rack, and thank you,
been a rich and
Tokyo Moto for getting it back from
rewarding time.
SFPD. You guys rock!
From starting my
business in the back
Helimot: Out Of The Suit
of a welding shop to
Business, NOT OUT OF
employing 6 people,
from doing my first
BUSINESS
track day on an old
Seriously, you guys. We expect more
Kawasaki
in 1998,
And… more glove models! from you. When we reported (“No More
to
becoming
2nd
place
in
the
first
TTXGP
Helimot Suits. No Foolin’” – “News, Clues There are still about thirty of the new, used
International
Electric
Racing
Series
in
and Rumors, April 2015) that Helimot was and display suits left, which are being sold
2010,
and
from
barely
speaking
English,
gonna stop making suits, “to focus on glove at CityBike-level cheapskate prices (Editor
pointing at parts of the motorcycle, to
manufacturing and exporting,” some of
Surj bought one). So head down to Helimot becoming one of the first woman-owned
you apparently took that as Helimot going and see if one of these will fit you, because
out of business. What part of “focusing on this is the only way you’re gonna get a
gloves” translates to “out of business?”
Helimot suit now.
See the all caps above? We’re trying to
But one more time: NOT OUT OF
be extra-clear this time, and we’ve asked
BUSINESS. Got it?
Helmut and Linda to get the name of
anyone who comes into their shop and says Also Not Out Of Business… Sort
something like “You guys still in business? Of: Werkstatt
I read in CityBike that you were closing”
so we can first, shame you in the hallowed But also big changes. Jenn has decided to
change it up at Werkstatt:
pages of News, Clues and Rumors, and
second, kick your ass, like the end of Jay
“After 21 plus years of raising my
And Silent Bob Strike Back, when Jay and
Werkstatt Motorcycle Repair, LLC, from
Bobbins start delivering payback firsthand. a one-person-operation to a full-fledged
motorcycle repair, service and racing shop,
Scooters Are Our Passion
Vintage Scooters in SF
Vespa & Lambretta SALES
SERVICE • PARTS • RESTORATIONS
www.bellomoto.com
415 872.5567
motorcycle repair shops in the country, I
wouldn’t miss a day of it.”
The only good news for fans of Werkstatt,
the shop, is that Jenn is offering 20% off
on all in-stock and special order parts
through Dec 15th, and 20% off on tune ups
through December 1st.
That’s something, we suppose. Best of luck
to you, Jenn!
Let’s Talk About California
Motorcycle Safety This One
Time Each Year And Not Really
Tell Anyone
After reading Editor Angry Old Man’s call
to arms a couple issues back (“We Think
You Should Attend The Annual CMSP
Advisory Committee Meeting” – News,
Clues and Rumors, October 2015), I put in
my request to attend, confirmed my bike
registration, insurance, and license were
all current, checked for any outstanding
warrants, and headed over to the CHP
headquarters here in Sacramento for the
CMSP (California Motorcyclist Safety
Program) Advisory Committee Meeting.
In case you missed Editor Surj’s rant, the
advisory committee meeting happens once
a year at CHP HQ in Sacramento. This
year’s meeting was on October 20th.
I arrived early, which was good because my
name wasn’t actually on the list. CityBike
gets no respect, I tell ya. Once checked
in, I was led back to the meeting room
where I took a seat. I had a large selection
of open seats to choose from—where was
everyone? Yeah, it was on a weekday, fine…
but really? I think there were maybe five
other people there just to observe. The rest
of the attendees were committee members.
After a little small talk, the meeting got
started. Introductions all around, then
approval of the minutes from the last
meeting which took place way back in Sept
2014. Yes, we do this just once a year.
The next hour and a half was Power
Point slides. The first deck outlined what
the CMSP does—shouldn’t everyone
in this meeting know already?—but the
information on public safety efforts over
the last year, community outreach at
events, and media campaigns was helpful
for me as a first-time attendee.
New rider training was a big topic, with
Lee Parks in attendance to talk about how
the transition from MSF to Total Control
Training was coming along. In other news,
motorcycle registrations are still on the
rise, as are new rider licenses, because
motorcycles are awesome. Unfortunately,
crashes and fatalities are keeping pace with
this rise—no too awesome.
The ever-growing safety fund total has
almost hit the eleven million mark,
at $10,978,000 for the 2014/15 fiscal
year. That’s an increase of $426,000
from 2013/14, when the fund was at
$10,552,000. More money is good, right?
In this case, it means the money isn’t being
spent on keeping riders safe, although the
increase this year pales in comparison to
last year’s increase of $889,000.
There was discussion of what that money
may or may not be spent on, and frankly,
aside from a media campaign, I’m not
really clear on the plans. From the sound
of things, getting approval to spend any
amount consists of a whole lot of paper
shuffling, discussions, meetings about
discussions, more paper shuffling, buncha
emails, and then possibly a decision, after it
lands on the right desk.
current Chair leaving for a new position,
not much was said that I hadn’t heard from
Editor Surj during his “how much you
wanna bet the goddamn fund is still not
being spent?” background phone call the
It’s cool, though. Not like anyone’s dying or
night before the meeting.
anything.
One thing that really stands out is that
Dr. Thomas Rice was there and presented
this meeting only happens once a year.
findings of his Enhanced Motorcycle
ONCE. This is a huge state, with 1.4
Collision Data Project as well as analysis
million licensed riders, and this committee
on the association between helmet type
is sitting together in a room once a year, for
and risk of head injury. Pretty shocking to
two hours.
learn that there are people out there riding
around in novelty helmets, thinking they
And you weren’t even there to hear it.
have just as much protection as a DOT
- An DeYoung
full-face. Spend some money on yourself
and get a real helmet. Seriously. Treat
Dirtbags On Film, Part Two:
yourself—you deserve it.
Return Of The Rattler
The final thirty minutes were set aside for
a round table—not really a discussion so
much as each person on the committee
getting the floor for a few minutes to
present ideas, ask any questions, make a
statement. Aside from goodbyes to the
Traffic is still tight, so he can’t do much,
but then the centipede breaks apart, and
the fucker punches it.
Oh, it’s on, son. Which is probably
accurate, age-wise.
Hot Pursuit & Evidence Tech
It’s Wednesday night, a little after 6 PM.
The “fall back” thing happened ‘round
Halloween, so it’s pitch black out, even
though it’s barely quittin’ time. I ‘Stich up
and hit the bridge on my trusty R1200R,
headed for Oakland. Traffic’s been a bit
gnarlier this week: the spaces between the
cars seem a little smaller than usual, the
drivers even more tuned-out (or tuned
into the wrong stuff), and there are lots
of bikes out. That last one oughtta be
a good thing, but lately, “a bit gnarlier”
seems to include a higher number of lanejumping splitters, weaving between the
in-betweens, dropping willy-Vanilli into
the split in front of other riders without
checking.
assumption that granddaddy Ninja is
gonna stick around to help, and I cut to
the right, leaned over all gymkhana-style,
and go after the aforementioned fucker as
he continues on.
I try 911 again, and they have time for
me this time. I tell the operator what
happened, where I am, and she says,
“You’re following the driver? Sir, please
get away from the car. You don’t know if
the driver is armed.”
I don’t say
this, but I do
know that the
driver is in fact
armed, with a
car, duh, one
of the most
popular and
ruthlessly
effective
weapons on
Pause: I can’t factually state whether the
the street.
car hit the rider’s front wheel, or the rider I also don’t
just choked his front brake so badly that
say that I’ve
he flipped. Point is, I don’t know whether had a gun
contact was actually made, but even if
pulled on
Just past the toll plaza, I’m behind an older it wasn’t, it was damn close, and in my
me in traffic,
Ninja-looking bike, with another rider
instant transition to “a fellow rider got
and some
just beyond. I’m not behind these two for taken out!” mode, I’m convinced that the oblivious
five seconds when a self-absorbed asshole driver needs to be part of the roadside
fucknut in
in a red Camaro—of course—does
discussion with the downed rider, who— a Camaro
one of those self-absorbed asshole lane
contact or no—is on the ground as a result ain’t that
Photo: Bob Stokstad
changes, the one where said asshole sees
of the Camaro driver’s stupid asshole
scary.
a gap—and nothing else, because they
move.
I do say, “Yeah. Ok.” And I finish telling
don’t look—and jerks the wheel to snag
the operator where the guy is, now
the open spot before it’s gone. So they can Un-pause: Camaro driver is rolling on
the
shoulder
at
a
couple
miles
per
hour,
heading on to 24. Another rider has joined
advance like three feet.
not quite ready to give up. After a few
me at this point. In the little bit of face
The Camaro instantly crosses into the
seconds of this, he decides his escape route I can see in the viewport of his helmet,
lane to its right, and the bike in front
involves going through me. Fortunately, I he looks a lot like Sam Devine. No such
instantly upends—brake light bright as
expected this, so I move with him, staying luck, but the rider either saw the crash and
the ass-end of the bike goes up and over
close—my knee is almost on his door—
wants to help, or is just crazier than me
the tea kettle.
and applying pressure, but also staying
and wants to get in on the harassment of
clear.
the Camaro. He’s hemming the Camaro
It’s not exactly slow motion, but feels way
in from the right, while I keep him from
longer than the couple seconds that this
I push the phone button on my Sena
going anywhere on the left. We’re like a
series of events actually takes.
and shout “DIAL 911!” The wait time
couple dogs yipping and nipping at the
(seriously?!) is too long, so I call my wife
Old timey Ninja stops behind the
heels of a larger, much more assholish
and say, “Hey. Just saw a rider taken out.
now-downed rider, and the fucker in
animal.
Write this down: 7 M I W 4 7 5. Fuckin’
the Camaro looks to be continuing on
asshole in red Camaro.”
I’m keenly aware that this may look be
his merry way. I make a split-second
looking like some kind of New York
Traffic is stacked up like an automotive
centipede, so Camaro guy has gone about
30 feet during all of this. I’m instantly
at the driver’s door, and I point to the
shoulder, saying “You just caused a crash.
Pull over.” I flip up my helmet and say it
again. The guy—maybe early twenties—
edges to the shoulder. He knows he’s
caught.
It’s an odd setting: black leather, t-shirts
and tattoos amidst the clean, stucco
courtyard of the Delancey Street complex.
Beneath a blue sky, resplendent with water
fountain, it looks more like the set of a
Range Rover scenario, and anyway, there’s
not anything I can really accomplish at
this point, unless I’m actually gonna kick
the shit out of him. Which I’m not. So I
signal to Sam’s doppelganger, cut in next
to him and say, “911 is on it.”
And then I cut off of 24 and head home to
post my adventure on BARF. Naturally.
The intercom made the difference
between just being pissed and being able
to do something. Sure, a camera would
have been even better, because
I would have
been able to
post the video
on YouTube,
publicly
shaming
Camaro
guy online
instead of just
publishing his
license plate
in CityBike.
But I was able
to capture
the info,
which made
my perhapsmisguided
hot pursuit
worthwhile.
It’s easy to
scoff at the “all
the GoPros,
all the time” mindset—it’s sort of a
fatalist mentality, running a camera
because something is sure to happen
eventually. But in this case, the tech made
a difference.
I’m not a lawyer—too busy with CityBike
for that law school shit—so I don’t know
whether fault could even be assigned
to the fucker in the Camaro if he didn’t
actually clip the rider. It seems these
things rarely go our way. So maybe the
whole thing was for naught. And I’d
be even more irresponsible than I just
demonstrated in this story if I didn’t say
“don’t try this shit at home, or anywhere.”
Shakespearean play about Roman nobility
than the premiere of a biker flick, tattoos
and face piercings aside. The crowd is
sipping on complimentary beer and wine
and snacking on a cheese platter sponsored
Huge Moto and Tokyo Moto.
Inside, behind a merch table, Frank
Pascual is smiling and selling black t-shirts
But perhaps Frank Pascual puts it
best when he says: “At work, the only
satisfaction I get is that I won’t get into
trouble for doing my job.”
Motorcycle Club. And of his edit of DBII,
which comes in at just under an hour:
“There’s nothing I can really take out and
nothing I can really add.”
The Rattler crew work in the digital realm
or in management and while building their
bike, they take joy creating something
more physically tangible, more permanent.
“I liked it,” says Tom “Moose” Rienecker
afterwards. “It was irreverent. When you
look at all the stuff the Discovery channel
puts out, they’re so serious about it. Like
they’re making great art.”
One of Asuncion’s
co-workers,
Jonathan Rosales,
expresses a similar
feeling about
digital production.
“It was really cool
to see this because
I can relate,” says
emblazoned with a green image of the
Rattler, the bike we’re all here to see a
movie about. Dirt Bag II: The Return
of the Rattler is the second feature
film directed by Paolo Asuncion. His
first, Dirtbag, is a documentary of the
infamous Dirtbag Challenge (Check
out our write up on this year’s Dirtbag
over on page 17!).
The new film focuses on a group of four
friends and their efforts to build a chopper
for under $1,000 in one month’s time.
Watching Paolo Asuncion, Luis Baptista
and brothers Frank and Erik Pascual
struggle together on this quest gives the
Rattler a buddy-movie feel. We
learn about their day jobs, watch
them progress as mechanics and
get to rejoice when (spoiler) their
bike makes it to the competition.
Though there was some joking
around about sponsors towards the
end of Asuncion’s first film, Dirtbag
II is more light hearted, peppered
with jokes throughout. Asuncion
and crew craft quality bait-andswitch comedy and situational gags.
The set ups are a little heavy-handed
and easy to spot but the followthroughs are good—often laugh
out loud good. The film ends with a
hilarious fantasy sequence that has
to be seen to believed.
Whether or not these films and bikes are
great art will be for history to decide (our
vote is for yes!). But one thing is for certain:
And that’s the second thing in just the first
the filmmakers and bike builders are
few pages of this issue that I have to caveat
having fun. And that might be even better.
with “don’t try this yourself, and if you do,
don’t blame me if it goes wrong.”
- Sam Devine
Tire Hugger
- Surj Gish
When I talked to non-Bay Area folks
about the moto-culture ‘round these
parts, one of the things that’s tricky to
convey sometimes is the multidisciplinary
nature of riders here. One-dimensional
stereotypes like “dirt riders don’t care
about anything beyond selfishly roosting
trails into oblivion and flat-brim hats”
and “capital-B Bikers can’t ride and are
too stupid to wear helmets” are seldom
true anywhere, but even less so here, and
in spite of the Bay’s reputation as a liberal
stronghold, there’s an endless variety
of riders that blow away that bullshit,
like a fiscally responsible, gun-toting
vegan straight-edge biker with strong
environmental beliefs.
Photos: Bob Stokstad
After an hour of milling about, we
line up and enter the theater. It’s a full
house and the room is surprisingly
nice. Much nicer than the Opera
center where the first Dirtbag premiered.
The walls are padded with a pillow mural
of the SF waterfront. “It’s like something
you’d see at my grandma’s house,” whispers
my date as the lights go down.
traffic, with cars parked at weird angles
for a couple miles back, people walking
around on the shoulder, sitting in folding
lawnchairs—surreal. I split through it until
I came upon another rider, Moe, hanging
out on the shoulder by her Harley. She had
ridden up from Southern California to see a
friend with cancer and not long to live, and
she was in no mood to wait for the mess to
clear. After a couple minutes, she suggested
we ride the other way on the shoulder,
which we did.
Self-congratulatory, “the Bay is so much
better than everywhere else” back-patting
aside, organizations like our pals at
Rosales. He also likes the
one-month limit of the DBC. “I help design RidersRecycle make sense here, with their
the packaging for our products, so there’s a emphasis on thoughtful, legal disposal of
oil and filters.
street date, a release date. And that date is
going to come whether you’re ready or not. On October 24th, RidersRecycle teamed
You’re never going to get it perfect so you
up with ZeroWasteMarin and Motopia in
try to do something you can live with.”
San Rafael to give riders an opportunity to
Before the feature presentation started, we
were treated to a sneak peek of a potential
YouTube series by Asuncion and friends
called “The Handsome
exchange their used motorbike filters for
a new one at no cost. Conservation Corps
North Bay collected used motorcycle tires
at the event, also for free.
I didn’t have any used oil
filters handy, but I seem to
always have a stack of tires, so
I strapped seven of ‘em to the
back of my trusty R1200R
and headed to San Rafael. I
was the first rider to show up,
arriving before the event had
even started, and everyone
was stoked about my
ridiculous stack of tires. As
I as unloading, more riders
started showing up, with
tires and filters.
Ultimately, turnout was
decent, with 30-something
filters given away and about 50 tires
Asians Motorcycle Club.” Something of a
collected. Stay tuned for more information
mirthful Mythbusters meets motorcycling on the next event like this. Maybe we’ll do
The film also has an underlying theme:
mini-series, we see the group discuss riding a contest: most tires on a motorcycle gets a
“Make it Your Own.” And the theme
together, lament their frequent pee-breaks, CityBike t-shirt.
transcends just bike-building, trickling
into the crew’s troubles with work, religion and attempt to ratify the issue with hoses
Weirdest part of the morning for me
and sobriety. We also hear from other bike and clamps. The awkward absurdity
though, wasn’t the tire sculpture on the
that
follows
has
the
house
howling
with
builders on how they’ve made their bikes
back of my bike, but rather the Walking
laughter.
Search
it
by
title
on
YouTube
for
a
their own. Jason Lisica, Julian Farnam,
Dead-esque conditions on the San
good chuckle.
John Ramos, Justin Martens, and Eric
Rafael Bridge, headed back to Oakland.
McDougald all explain their own day jobs “The aim with that one is to do some
There was a crash in the middle of the
and how their passion for bike building fills crazy shit but also do some real stuff,”
bridge, resulting in completely stopped
a whole in their lives.
says Asuncion of the Handsome Asian
Photo: Surj Gish
From 3:14 Daily
Valencia @ 25th
415-970-9670
IMS 2015: Sacratomato Better
Than San Mateo?
CityBike Road Scholars An and Sam
headed to Sacratomato for the Progressive
International Motorcycle Show.
An: Leader Of The Sac
and hung around the vendor areas inside
when it was. The usual manufacturers were
there: BMW, Harley, Ducati, Kawi, Indian,
even Royal Enfield. Local dealers covered
Honda, Triumph, and MV Agusta. I even
found CSC’s small booth with their $3,500
ADV bike. No sign of KTM, presumably
because they knew I’d steal their RC 390.
I was happy the IMS moved to Sacto this
Marketplace vendors were familiar—
year. Three hour, mind-numbing ride to
San Mateo aside, the show itself has been a earplugs, anti-foggers, gloves, biker gear,
shadow of its former self
for the last few years.
Makodo Endo painting a Scout with chopsticks.
Maybe a new location is
just what’s needed.
Plus, everyone who
can’t afford to live in
the Bay any more will
be moving to Sac soon
anyway, right?
I spent two long days
at Cal Expo, and
ended the weekend
feeling a bit like a
state fair carnie.
Saturday, I earned
my keep working the
MotoWheels /AGV
booth, selling helmets
after a crash course in features and sizing
from the AGV rep. When I wasn’t talking
about the MotoGP soap opera with visitors
to the booth, I was wearing down the
battery on the demo unit of AGV’s new
LCD face shield, which goes dark at the
press of a button.
Sunday, I loitered at the stunt and
supermoto areas when it wasn’t raining,
It sounds good to him and we stroll
towards the show. He introduces himself
as Greg, tells me his brother is inside and
offers to buy me a beer. As we enter, we’re
pointed past some ATVs and Slingshots to
where we can get a free calendar.
“They want your name, phone number and
credit card info for everything,” says Greg.
Sure enough, we have to divulge name,
rank and serial numbers for any and all
promotional items and
activities. “I should’ve
brought a stamp,” says
Greg as we fill out slips
to receive our free swag.
We wander through some
of the show-bikes that
are peppered near the
walk ways, and in short
order we meet up with
his brother, Brian, who’s
wearing a red textile
adventure jacket. We get
to talking about bikes. I’d
assumed they were Harley
riders, but it turns out
Photo: An DeYoung
they’re here on matching
BMW K1200GTs.
helmets—and better laid out. No halfThey’ve ridden through the south on them
empty buildings this time.
together.
I talked with Makoto Endo, who spent
all three days painting a beautiful custom
Indian portrait with chopsticks. $1,500 and
he’ll do your bike too. If I had a firstborn
I’d sell it for one of those paintings.
For me, the highlight of weekend was
seeing Erin Sills, the AMA’s Female
Athlete of the Year, talk about going 209
MPH at Bonneville.
After playing with the electric slot cars
Progressive has set up, we wander over to
the Suzuki area, where Brian reveals his
ambition to ride to Alaska. I point him
towards the V-Strom 1000 which,
for the dollar, is a hard package to
beat.
KTM is the most notably absent
manufacturer, and there’s no
obvious sign of Yamaha, either.
- An DeYoung
The largest booths were those of
Sam: As Always, Making Friends
Kawasaki, Suzuki, and BMW. The
Everywhere He Goes
Bavarians brought their A game,
with a booth that seemed larger and
It’s well past dark when I get to the latest
more permanent than apartments
and greatest two-wheeled-toy show in
I’ve rented. They also had virtual
Sacramento. I park next to a Slingshot I’d
reality goggles. And though I wanted
seen on the way there—at least it’s the same
ride the computerized dirt road whilst
color. The driver had waved at me, which
straddling the latest GS, the brand
gave me pause. I never know quite how
ambassador insisted I speed down their
to feel about the three-wheeled open-air
digital race track.
vehicles; the Can-ams, the trikes. I mean,
they’re not motorcycles, but they’re not
The experience really did remind me of
cars. They fall somewhere next to scooters: track riding, highly tuned vision, trying
definitely an improvement on four-wheeled to ignore other sensations while drawing
travel, but not really in the same club. We
your line, turning to look at the other
don’t understand all the same jokes.
riders and then gazing down to see the
red and white warning curbs flash by, the
A group of bro-y dudes walking by share
colors blurring almost to purple in the VR
my sentiment. “That’s kinda cool,” says a
goggles.
tall, athletic guy in a Harley Davidson ball
cap. “I’d mod it.”
We head to the second exhibition hall to
see the vendors. While some shows have
“I wouldn’t waste my time,” says his friend,
been a big-American-twin circle-jerk of
who looks like a chubby version of Fred
plastic, made-in-China accessories for the
Durst in his white t-shirt and red baseball
weekend outlaw biker, the IMS show is
cap.
full of stuff that I actually wanted to buy—
including CSC’s Cyclone, a mini wanna“C’mon, if they gave it to you for free?”
Beemer bike, made in China, that can be
“You’d see me on that Vespa first.”
delivered to your doorstep for around four
grand.
As I walk towards the ticket booth and
turnstiles, I look around for someone to
But there aren’t many new bikes
treat with my spare ticket. A tall man with we CityBikers haven’t already seen,
white hair and goatee, in an H-D jacket and although Ducati’s Diavel Carbon has me
jeans is also walking towards the entrance. daydreaming of wheelies between the cafes
“Hey man. Already got a ticket? I got an
extra if you want.”
of North Beach on the overpowered naked
behemoth. Release dates for most of the
manufacturers are just a few weeks away.
We’ll have to see what the SoCal show, and
of course EICMA, have in store for us.
“You know, most motorcyclists are good
people,” says Greg as we leave.
“Yeah,” I say, “and most of ‘em have their
shit together a little bit more than other
folks.”
“Well yeah! You’re out there on the road!”
This moment reveals that, more than
anything—more than the hype, than the
corporate sponsorship, more than the cast
bronze gecko on the Roland Sands Designs
Geico Indian scrambler—the IMS is a
gathering place for the like-minded. Their
promotional hashtag is #RidersUnite, and
damned if it isn’t true. We were there to
talk, touch and ogle the two-wheeled toys,
together.
We were kids in a bike store. Screw candy.
Let’s ride.
- Sam Devine
New Stuff
Gearhead To-do List
By Sam Devine
If you’re reading CityBike, the odds are that
you’re probably a gearhead. You’re moved
by things that move in more ways than one.
Bikes are obvious, but you might also be
into trains, planes and automobiles. And
that means you’ll most likely enjoy the
book 100 Things for Every Gearhead to Do
Before They Die, by Jason Fogelson.
Broken up into small entries, the book is
easy to flip through and find something
quick to read. Whether on the train to work
or while taking a solo business meeting
on the porcelain throne, it’s a good timepasser. It also makes a good reference
book when planning trips. Have a business
junket in Ohio? Maybe you can sneak away
to the American Motorcycle Museum for
an afternoon. Riding down to LA? Perhaps
you’d enjoy taking the Angeles Crest
Scenic Byway.
Sure, you could just Google “motorcycle
museums” and “good motorcycle roads.”
But Gearhead to Do lays it out for you. It’s
a well organized list of awesome roads,
events and destinations, that’s easy to
search through and spin dreams from.
This fun little tome might also hip readers
to things they wouldn’t otherwise think
to search for, something that Google can’t
really offer.
The book may be a little car-heavy for
some of the motorcyclists out there, but
Fogelson’s not talking about the best way
to get stuck behind a Prius in traffic. He’s
talking about salt flats, racetracks and
vintage rallies. There are also short, fun
interviews with famous gear geeks like
Adam Ferrara from Top Gear USA.
This is compression gear, so it’s meant to
be super-snug. There’s no easy way to get
into it—just take it slow. It’s very silky,
which makes it a bit easier to get into. Still,
a little yoga might help.
Once on, it’s like a second skin. There are
soft mesh inserts behind the knees, under
the arms, and down the back, and the
seams are flat so it’s comfortable and easy
to move in.
I was initially worried about the top staying
put, but there’s a band of grippy
silicone along the lower
part to keep it from
riding up once you
tuck it in against
your skin.
VN
M Inside
Since flipping around
through Gearhead
to Do, I’ve learned
a thing or two.
As a wanky San
Franciscan with
a penchant for
consuming synthetic
drugs and dancing
in the desert, I’ve
spent plenty of time
on the Black Rock
Desert Playa. But no
one ever mentioned
that it’s the largest
piece of flat land in
the world—or that
they hold time trials
there. Nope, they
just said: “Here, take
these. They make body
feel good— like on fire,
but good.”
trackdays, and easy to grab when packing
up.
%&$'"(()
! "#$
I started the 2015 season with the VNM
baselayers and a new Helimot suit to break
in. The VNM gear made it easy to slide
into my new suit, even on the hottest days.
It’s made of a “technologically advanced
fabric” that “feels like air conditioning”
because of the tiny honeycombs that
help increase cooling. The fabric dries
in minutes, less if there’s a breeze. My
leathers are not perforated, so its extraimportant that my track underthings are
effective at keeping me cool.
Wearing the VNM gear, I could drop the
top in a cooler of melting ice, wear it for
a session to keep cool, and
once off the track, drop my
leathers—the VNM layer
kept me cool as it dried.
Priced at $18, 100 Things
for Every Gearhead to Do
Before They Die is worth
buying for your reference
library or giving as a
stocking stuffer. I know it
would keep me happy and
quiet by the fire while
waiting for dinner. Now
what was that Colorado
road it mentioned?
It’s also got SPF 50
protection from the sun—
great for walking around
and socializing the pits
without worry of sunburn.
I’ve worn my VNM gear
every trackday this year,
and it’s held up really
well—even against the
Velcro I keep catching it
on when I’m rushing into
my leathers. If I can force
$18. Softcover, 160 pages,
9” x 5.8”. Get your copy at
booksforgearheads.com.
VNM Sport Gear
By An DeYoung
Late last year I started looking for a
different baselayer to wear under my
trackday leathers. The one-piece I’d been
wearing was nice, but I wanted a two-piece
because, well… one-piece baselayers aren’t
as easy for women to deal with as a twopiece in certain situations. I’ll just leave it
at that.
e
l
a
S
ay items
d f stock
i
l
o
H % of
ts
duc
d pro
to 50 rcefiel
015
30%excluding Fo r 1-31, 2
mbe
Dece
I found VNM Sportgear. Woman rider /
racer-owned, and now made in San Jose—
sounds great. I got in touch with the owner,
Aliki, the aforementioned rider / racer, and
she helped me with sizing.
I placed my order, with the promise I
could return anything that didn’t fit right.
My new baselayers arrived soon after, in
reusable snappy plastic bags (these have
since been upgraded to a softer plastic with
a much better zip opening), which are nice
for keeping track of of the pieces between
myself to be more careful with the Velcro,
I’ll bet my VNM gear will last me a few
more years of trackdays.
I’ve kept in touch with Aliki, and I’m really
excited about what she’s been doing with
VNM lately. In addition to riding at tracks
all over North America to promote VNM,
she’s put together templates so riders can
have a hand in designing their own custom
baselayers. Pick the color to match your
bike, add your name or race number. I’m
The Forcefield and the Armour Flex Back achieves level 2, the highest pass possible against the
latest European draft standard ref: prEN1621-2 which is officially known as “Motorcyclists
Protective Clothing against mechanical impacts-part 2”.
For body Armor (elbow, shoulder, knee and hip) Four Layer Armour outperforms current standards
EN1621-1 (1997) by 90% (100 joules) on the dual layer. The EN1621-1 requires that given an impact
energy of 50 joules, no more than 35KN of force should be transmitted.
thinking we need CityBike Wrecking Crew
Gear!
Aliki has also teamed up with a Vet2Track
(“PTSD vs. GSXR” – News, Clues and
Rumors, September 2015), and is raising
funds to help Vets with PTSD get on track
by selling custom Vet2Track base layers.
That’s definitely not the case here. I reckon
Reg could have found multiple publishers
to do this thing, if he’d wanted to. It’s quite
good, in a common sense kinda way.
You know how you practice and practice,
until you’re looking so far through your
turns that you can see a female
$97.99 per piece. Learn more at
vnmsportgear.com.
neural net processor—it helps. Periodic
review of the basics helps with skill
development, whether you’re practicing
emergency braking in the vast asphalt
wastelands of the old base in Alameda or
taking a few minutes to mindfully consider
your riding tactics, when you’re not
riding.
Our 2nd 50 doesn’t cover a lot of new
material, but what it does do is tie a lot
of good material together in a nice little
package for easy review. And it’s good
reading—Reg is the quintessential
straight shooter. And he quotes a Cake
song, a band I worked sound for once
back in the nineties. A damn fine
reason to buy this book, if you ask me.
Is There Moto-life After 50?
By Surj Gish
Reg Kittrelle, long-time moto-industry
guy, founder of Thunder Press, and—of
course—CityBike reader, found himself
getting old. Not in years, although at 72,
he’s got a few of those—50 of ‘em on bikes.
Rather, he found his riding getting sloppy,
and in trying to figure out why, and how to
fix this, decided to write it all down. Type
it, actually, and turn it into a book. And
then he did the layout of the book himself,
too, and self-published it.
The result: Motorcycles And Our 2nd 50
years – An Owner’s Manual For Riders Over
50.
The book promptly sold out the first
pressing. Second one is nearly gone too,
with a third printing is on its way.
Being CityBike, we’re big fans of this sort of
“I don’t need a publisher to put this thing
president, and then the next day, you find
out” kinda thing, so Reg gets a great big
yourself gazing at the double yellow about
high five from us, just for that. Problem is,
a lot of self-publishing happens because the arms-length ahead of you, mid-turn?
shit being published is, well… shit.
Point is, doing some reading, thinking
about this stuff consciously, resetting your
The topics covered include an
introduction of who the intended
audience—again, riders over
50—and the typical physiological
changes riders in this age range
experience, a discussion of fitness
and food and their effects on
riding, and of course, bikes, gear,
and a multitude of other stuff,
like sleep, vision, getting found if
you get lost, and proper first aid.
Reading Our 2nd 50 is kinda like
going for a ride with Reg, but it’s
a mellow ride, with lots of stops
where we just hang out, check
out the view, and get thoughtful, bite-sized
doses of his copious wisdom, acquired
across the aforementioned 50 years of
riding.
Here’s the kicker—Our 2 50 isn’t just for
riders of “a certain age.” Or it doesn’t have
nd
to be. Sure, he talks about this stuff in ways
that apply to older riders, but most of the
topics apply to riders of all ages. I’m not
(quite) in the target age range, although I
sometimes feel like it, but I found myself
nodding along with Reg’s narrative several
times:
“Yeah, dammit. I’d rider better if I was a bit
(a lot) more fit.”
“Yeah, I shouldn’t eat such garbage-y food
on the road.”
There’s a companion website,
motorcyclesand2nd50.com, that Reg
hopes to be something of a destination for
older riders, with resources, a forum, a blog,
news and more. You can of course order the
book there too.
Look, it’d be easy to recommend Our 2nd
50 purely on the merits of Reg being a cool
guy—for example, he gave us a bunch of
helmets for the helmet research project we
did last year (“The Truth About Helmets”
– November 2014), including his beautiful,
ancient Bell Star that we just couldn’t bear
to bash on the testing apparatus. And like I
said, we love this DIY self-publishing stuff.
But we’d be selling Reg and his book short
if we did that. Fact is, no matter how old
you are, if you care about being a better
rider, a better whole rider, Motorcycles And
Our 2nd 50 belongs on your bookshelf,
next to all those books about cornering
technique.
$19.95. Softcover, 224 pages, 9” x 6”. Get your
copy at motorcyclesand2nd50.com.
EVENTS
December 2015
2nd Sunday of each month: Santa Cruz
Scooter Club Monthly Group Ride
(Fin’s Coffee, 1104 Ocean Street, Santa
Cruz, CA 95060)
Meet at 11:00 AM. Route depends on
who shows, the weather, and how much
time folks have. Rides will be cancelled
due to rain. santacruzscooterclub.com /
facebook.com/SantaCruzScooterClub
Ducati Bike Nights!
All brands and models of motorcycles
are welcome. Get more information
at NorCalDoc.com.
1st Monday of each month: Mill
Valley
6:00 to 10:00 PM at The Cantina,
651 E. Blithedale Ave, Mill Valley.
More information: 415.378.8317.
1st Wednesday of each month: San
Francisco Ducati Bike Night
6:00 to 10:00 PM at Pier 23 Seafood
Cafe, Pier 23, The Embarcadero,
San Francisco, CA 94111. More
information: 415.362.5125.
1st Sunday of each month: North
Bay
6:30 to 9:30 PM at Benissimo, 18
Tamalpais Dr, Corte Madera.
2nd Monday of each month: South
Bay
6:00 to 10:00 PM at Pizza Antica,
334 Santana Row, #1065 San Jose.
More information: 408.557.8373.
2nd Tuesday of each month: East
Bay
6:30 PM till whenever at Pizza
Antica, 3600 Mt Diablo Blvd,
Lafayette. More information:
925.299.0500.
3rd Wednesday of each month:
Emeryville
6:00 to 10:00 PM at Hot Italian,
5959 Shellmound Street, No. 75,
Emeryville. More information:
510.652.9300.
4th Monday of each month:
Sacramento
6:00 to 10:00 PM at Hot Italian,
1627 16th Street, Sacramento. More
4th Monday of each month: MidPeninsula
5:00 to 10:00 PM at Sixto’s Cantina,
1448 Burlingame. More information:
650.342.7600.
4th Friday of each month: Concord
6:00 to 10:00 PM at Lazy Dog Café,
1961 Diamond Blvd, Concord. More
4th Saturday of each month:
Novato
6:00 to 10:00 PM at Boca Pizzeria,
454 Ignacio Blvd, Novato. More
3rd Sunday of each month: Northern
California Moto Guzzi National
Owners Club Breakfast (Putah Creek
Cafe, 1 Main St, Winters, CA 95694)
MGNOC members and interested Guzzi
riders meet at 9:00 AM for breakfast
and good times.
Photo: Surj Gish
More information:
contact Northern
California MGNOC
Representative,
Don Van Zandt at
707.557.5199.
Check our Facebook page for details as we 333 Corey Way, South San Francisco, CA
figure ‘em out: facebook.com/citybikemag 94080)
December 6, 2015: 32nd Annual Toy
Run (Dudley-Perkins H-D, 333 Corey
Way, South San Francisco, CA 94080)
Annual Christmas festivities at DudleyPerkins: pictures with Santa, snacks, hot
beverages, and of course, Harleys. dpchd.
com/custompage2.asp?pg=events
January 9, 2016: 3rd Annual
Motorcycle Unification
Rally (West Steps of the
Capital Building, 1315 10th
Street, Sacramento, California
95814)
Motorcyclists from all
walks, err…rides of life will
descend on the California
State Capital for the third
annual Unification Rally,
to show strength of voice
and unity. Show up to help
make our voices heard, to
Ride with Richard
empower and mobilize in the
Dudley-Perkins’ annual toy run to SF
and Kathy from RKA for a good cause!
protection of our freedoms. facebook.
General Hospital. Please bring unwrapped
Donations of food or money get you a nice
com/unificationrally2016
toys for the children at the hospital. $20—
ride along the coast and through wine
January 30, 2016: Monster Energy
includes breakfast and run pin. dpchd.
country to Sonoma Raceway for lunch and
Supercross (O.co Coliseum, 7000
com/custompage2.asp?pg=events
a few laps ‘round the track. rka-luggage.
Coliseum Way, Oakland, CA 94621)
com/A15%20Events/2015%20food%20 December 6, 2015: MMA Swap Meet
Supercross comes to the East Bay. Doors
(Dixon Fairgrounds, 655 S 1st St, Dixon,
dr/fooddrive2015.html
open at noon for practice and qualifying,
CA 95620)
November 22, 2015: Any Two Wheels
main event at 6:30. Tickets start at $15.
(Speakeasy Brewery, 1195 Evans Ave, San This is the old Cow Palace Swap Meet
supercrosslive.com
relocated to the Dixon Fairgrounds. Free
Francisco, CA 94124)
Want your event in our calendar? Send a note
admission, five bux for parking. Vendor
Open invite bike competition / show.
spots are $50, with electricity. Gates open to [email protected] with details like
Bring your cool bike—chopper, fixie,
who, what, when, where, why and we’ll add
at 10 AM. Rain or shine. mma-ca.org
sportbike, scooter, whatever—if it
it. Maybe. If it’s something cool. Send your
December 11, 2015: Christmas
has two wheels, we want to see it!
stuff early—more notice is better.
Extravaganza (Dudley-Perkins H-D,
pointykittyproduction.com
November 21, 2015:
15th Annual RKA
Luggage Sonoma
Raceway Food
Drive Ride (7694
Bell Road, Windsor,
CA 95492)
November 22, 2015: Richmond
Ramblers Bearfoot Family Enduro
(Mendocino National Forest, CA)
The AMA-District 36 Bearfoot Family
Enduro takes place the weekend before
Thanksgiving at Fouts Springs in
Mendocino National Forest, also known
as Stonyford. richmondramblersmc.
org/events.html
November 27, 2015: CityBike “Ride
Friday Give Back” Anti-Black Friday
Ride (Middle Harbor Shoreline Park,
2777 Middle Harbor Rd, Oakland, CA
94607)
We’re not real organized yet, but we kept
having these “fuck Black Friday, let’s go
riding” conversations around CityBike
HQ and decided that instead of just
spitting potty-mouthed rebellion into
the wind, we’d make a thing of it. Ride
Friday Give Back or whatever.
So here’s the deal: we’re gonna meet at
Middle Harbor Shoreline Park at 10
AM on Black Friday and head out for
a mellow ride, most likely through the
East Bay hills, and end up at Lanesplitter
in Emeryville for pizza and hang time.
Our good pals at LaneSplitter will cover
the first ten tasty pies.
We’re asking for at least a $20 donation
from each rider, and we’ll be giving the
entire amount to CASA of Alameda
County. You can learn more about
CASA (Court Appointed Special
Advocates) at casaofalamedacounty.
org.
By Sam Devine
Photos by Bob Stokstad & Max Klein
W
e ripped the KTM 390 Duke
around Thunderhill Raceway’s
East course, split through San
Francisco traffic and rode it down various
Interstates. And we’re happy to report that
the Li’l Duke is a fun bike for just about
anyone. Only the largest or most jaded
of riders will find it lacking in power and
stature—most riders will consider it a
featherweight runabout, a nimble good
time, Sir Duke in the Small Displacement
Kingdom.
over because they were already ogling the
bike’s orange wheels and trellis frame when
I signaled my lane change. This is the type
of bike you park by a cafe, grab a coffee and
listen to the comments roll in—even from
people generally disinterested in motoculture.
motocross handlebar pairing takes a
few minutes to get used to. It’s like what
Garth said about his chonies: “At first it’s
constrictive, but after a while it becomes a
part of you.” Initially, it’s easy to wind up
weighing heavy on the wide handlebar.
The real way to get comfy on this bike is
to get up on the pegs—this gives a riding
position that makes you feel like a bulldog.
“Naw, I think it’s a Japanese bike. Or maybe
Afterwards, once you get back in the
one of those Italian ‘Bucatis.’”
saddle, the slightly-rearward foot position
even makes more sense. By the time I hit
Actually it’s an Austrian-designed bike
the toll plaza, I was feeling one with the
made in India by Bajaj Auto Ltd, which
bike.
owns a big chunk of KTM. Topping out
around
100
mph
(the
speedo
said
95
on
the
Whipping the 390 Duke towards
The WP suspension is cushy, offering
straights at Thunderhill), it’s supposedly
downtown SF, hard rock blasting in my
150mm of travel on the inverted forks. And
one of the fastest bike currently made in
helmet, Oak Street turned into a dance
it has decent ground clearance, leaving me
floor. I found myself grooving between the India. Number one with a Bullet (Anyone? no hesitation in taking the mini-motard off
cars, digging how high its sideview mirrors Royal Enfield pun? Is this thing on?).
curbs and through bumpy gravel parking
are, easily clearing the mirrors of most cars The 390 uses the same frame as the KTM
lots. Fooling around in a parking lot also
while splitting. The flapping exhaust note 200, a bike popular in India. But the motor revealed it to be a tiny wheelie machine. All
from its abbreviated pipe grunted like a
crammed into this little frame is 373 cubic this and its willing powertrain earned it 4
boar; loud enough to get attention in high
out of 5 stars on our “You-Punks-Get-Offcentimeters. So why is it called a 390?
revs but quiet enough outside the power
My-Lawn” Hooligan-o-meter.
Sounds bigger and better. Whatever the
band to let the neighbors sleep when I got
reason is, it’s probably also why Honda
It’s only questionable feature is its seat,
home late.
dubbed their inline-736ccwhich is hard and slippery. It reminds
powered bike the CB750.
It took some effort with the throttle
me of a plastic bouncy horse from
and shifter, but the Li’l Duke could be
a McDonald’s playground. But,
All in all, the Baby
persuaded to jump off the line as fast as just Duke’s ergonomics
thanks to the suspension and
about anything else I encountered. With a are comfy and
component positions that
claimed 26 ft-lbs of torque, it sprung ahead fun, but the
facilitate stand-up riding, it
of cabs and entitled, luxury sedan drivers
proved comfortable enough
sport-style peg
with little difficulty. Unfortunately, once
on trips beyond The City’s
position
above 45 mph, it has the passing power of a and
borders, like the southeast bay
Honda Civic.
area. And I took 580—arguably
one of the worst stretches of
But it’s not entirely gutless, especially
interstate in this country.
considering it’s rolling with just 373
Though it by no means
cubes—it’s snappy and has a good
dominated the superslab,
command, ranging to 80mph.
Duke Jr. provided a capable
For what it lacks in speed, it makes up in
eye-catching flashiness. With its blocky
angles, it looks like the whole thing was
built by a 3-D printer, angled like a
jewel—this is the bike some
evil, crystal sci-fi character
would ride.
“Wow. Look at that thing. Harley?”
Sure, it may not have enough
power to muscle around
dawdling cars on the
interstate, but drivers
often let me merge
ride out to Livermore, handling
the patchy asphalt and hectic
traffic with no noticeable issues—
at least none that couldn’t be solved
by more displacement.
But with higher displacement comes a
bigger price tag and this nano-nakedcycle is absolutely affordable at $4,999.
And its price tag isn’t the only thing that’s
accessible about it. Weighing in at 340 lbs
soaking wet, the mini-Duke is the type
of scoot you can pick up and put in your
pocket after you drop it.
Its Bosch 9MB dual channel ABS also
helps keep things safe. And it won’t kill
you at the pump, either—it sips gas slow
enough to clock in the +50mpg zone.
Though the little Duke is built to tackle
urban environments, this machine is
barely out of the woods. Dirt riding is just
in its KTM DNA, as evident in its wide
handlebar and upright riding posture.
Want to do some light off-roading? Slap
some knobbies on that puppy and go rip a
fire trail or two!
More aggressive dirt riding would require
a beefier skid plate and longer suspension,
especially for bigger bikers. But for smaller
riders, this could really be your one-stop
shop for track bike, street bike and sortaoff-roader. Then again, you might just want
to wait for the rumored 390 Adventure.
So sure, the Duke-ito won’t be setting any
land speed records, and won’t have you
power-cruising the freeway like a spectre
or Norse god amongst the mortals, but it’s
a blast to tool around on and cuts through
the crowds better than a puking debutant.
If you find a more versatile bike for less
money, make an appointment to see it as
soon as you can and then flag, flag, flag
that Craigslist posting.
Sam is CityBike’s newest columnist (check
out page 20 for his latest), and our resident
“bashin’ bikes ‘round the city proper-like” guy.
Duke Of Awesome
By Max Klein
When I first turned the Duke’s key and
saw “Ready to Race” flash up on the dash, I
literally laughed out loud. “Seriously KTM,
you’re drinking your own Kool-Aid now?”
Little did I know how delicious I’d find that
Kool-Aid just minutes later.
It all started a couple of months ago in
Southern California, chillin’ and killing
time before a press event. I decided to go
for a little ride out to the Rock Store. I
scanned the map, got the gist of where I
was headed and took off.
Sort of. I tried to take off.
After laughing at the start up message, I
put my feet up where I expected to find the
pegs on an upright standard, which caused
me to apply the rear brake (fortunately)
and drop the tranny into first (not-sofortunately) stalling the bike.
Turns out that the riding position is not
“upright standard” so much as “aggressive
standard.” The pegs are up and back
putting you into what might be termed the
“Ready to Race Stance.”
Photo: Bob Stokstad
Well played, KTM.
KTM: “We do swingarms right.”
It’s a bitchin’ track bike, too.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
Photo: Max Klein
With a double beep of the horn and a single
thumbs up (I think it was my thumb) I was
left to enjoy the road on my own. By this
Photo: Bob Stokstad
point, I’d become a big fan of this little
bike, and part of me was a little bummed
white leathers with our flying eyeball on ‘em.
that I’d have to leave it behind to go ride
Pretty flashy, Slick.
Ducatis for the rest of the day.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
Once I sorted this “sitting on the bike”
thing out, I hit the road and soon found
myself at a stoplight next to a hot, older
redhead in an even hotter Jag. I was too
busy checking out the cougar’s Jaguar to
notice when the light changed and was
forced to filter in behind her as the road
narrowed. Fortunately for me, she was not
afraid to put the hammer down and for the
next five minutes or so I had a carrot(top)
to chase—it was obvious she knew the
road. Despite its diminutive displacement,
the 390 Duke matched the Jag’s additional
cylinders corner for corner, until she
turned off into her gated community.
It’s a tough life, I tell ya.
Meet My New Friend Chuckles
A bit later in the month, the CityBike
Wrecking Crew took turns flogging both
the 390 Duke and the RC 390 out at
Thunderhill Raceway. I was able to keep
the Duke powering ahead of Sam on the
RC through the corners, but the lack of
aerodynamic bodywork allowed him
to catch right back up in the three fast
sections. We swapped bikes and I could
see why, as my top speed down the front
straight on the RC was 110 and climbing,
where the Duke was pulling to 95 and
staying there.
By Gwynne Fitzsimmons
I liked the Duke a lot, right out of the
box. The 25 mm of additional suspension
travel up front (150 mm compared to the
RC’s 125 mm—both have 150 mm out
back) made the stock stuff bearable in all
situations, but let’s face it, anyone over
170ish pounds is going to want an upgrade.
The only other downside was my face kept
hitting the mirrors on the track.
Wait… what I mean is, when I was riding
on the track, my face kept hitting the
mirror on the bike. There were no mirrors
on the track itself.
Every now and then, I throw a leg over a
bike and start thinking of personalized
plates. Such was the case with the “little”
390 Duke.
doesn’t matter—it’s a whole new take on
“play bike.”
At the end of my all-too-brief relationship
with the little Duke, it hit me:
“CHUCKLES.”
Yeah, I know—too many letters, but
Chuckles, that freaky, scary, twisted
birthday clown, the one that haunts you
into adulthood… that’s the guy. He’s pretty
My initial thought was “GIGGLS” but after funny, but watch out, he can get you into
a few miles, I realized that giggling implied serious(ly fun) trouble!
innocent, fleeting fun. This bike is worthy
If you’ve had a CityBike in your hands
of something darker, deeper, perhaps a bit
recently, there’s a good chance Gwynne had it
more sinister.
first. She’s basically CityBike’s “time to make
After a 120 sweet, slicing miles in the
the doughnuts” guy—she helps make sure the
hills of Marin, I came to think of the little
mag gets into all those red racks.
Duke more like the pony that many a child
dreams of riding, owning, befriending; a
perfectly proportioned, slightly miniature
version of the big one, the one that’s too
expensive, and too tall to reach the ground
on anyway.
Turning the key, to be welcomed by the
“Ready to Race” salutation (or is it a
question?) from the bike is an indicator of
the good times to come. The Duke snaps to
with a mere twist of the throttle, snorting,
cursing from its pipe.
Inspiring all kinds of unsuitable behavior,
the 390 doesn’t so much roll as leap off the
After a few laps of this, I pretended I was
line. Its quick throttle response and crisp
the Kool-Aid Man and started yelling “OH, brakes allow the ass end to joyfully fishtail
YEAAHH!”
down a newly chip sealed road.
Max is the SF Chapter Director of the
The Duke makes me want to seek out
AFM and the only member of the CityBike
trouble. Hmm… “TRBLMKR” won’t fit
Wrecking Crew currently sporting custom
on a plate. But fallen leaves, gravel, puddles,
KTM RC 390, AKA “Li’l Ricky”
By Max Klein
Photos by Bob Stokstad & Max
Klein
B
ack in grade school there was this
kid named Jonathan Janke. He
was smaller than average, talked
with a spitting lisp, and had a big nose.
By all rights he should have been bullied
relentlessly by the cool kids. After all, this
was the early eighties—he was a walking
“kick me” sign.
Despite the trifecta of obvious bully
fodder, he—somehow—was the cool
kid. It helped that his parents had a bit of
money, and because of that he had the best
clothes, just about every Transformer/
Atari 2600 game on the planet, plus a
pinball machine in his basement. The
kicker was that he always wanted to do
fun and somewhat dangerous stuff, and he
would poke… poke… poke… until you
were on board.
Remind me to tell you about the time
he got one of the older kids to jump his
brother’s snowmobile over Pike Creek
some time… well, most of the way over.
KTM’s RC 390 is the motorcycle
equivalent of Jonathan Janke.
First off, not only is this thing powered
by a small displacement motor, it’s an
odd number at that. The “390” is the
same 373cc single that is in the Duke
390. A claimed 44 horsepower and 26
foot pounds of torque are toy-like in
comparison to the cool crowd’s 200 HP
rocketships.
But just when you are about ready to give
the RC (An calls it “Li’l Ricky”) a wedgie
and walk away, you notice its style game
is on point. It looks like a race bike—the
orange trellis frame and fairings are
straight out of the closet of its big brother,
the RC8. The pillion seat is shaped to
resemble the tail of a race bike as well.
Turn the key and the RC starts with the
peer pressure: “Ready To Race” flashes
up on the dash before you even thumb the
starter.
*POKE*
I never took it easy on this bike. I tried,
believe me I tried, but the bike really
wanted me to do fun—sometimes risky—
stuff. And the shift light was constantly
taunting me (constaunting?), all like,
“Didn’t you hear me? I said Ready To
Race back there and YOU ARE NOT
RACING!”
*POKE*
Then there’s the dash feature telling you
how long you’ve been riding, giving you
your average speed… based on how long
the motor has been running, even at fiveminute long stoplights, of which I hit three
of en route to Editor Surj’s house while
piloting the RC. Nothing stings more than
your bike telling you, “Hey, you’ve been
riding for 45 minutes on the freeway and
your average speed is 20 mph.”
“Aww, how cute…Did I or did I not say I
was READY TO RACE?”
*POKE*
The 43mm WP forks lack adjustability and
the WP shock only offers a preload twistyring. Since I am about 20-ish pounds
heavier than what the boingers were built
for, you’re probably expecting me to bitch
about the horrible, budget bits-induced
handling. How it bounced me around and
wallowed mid corner.
I’d love to, but the RC’s bits were much
more forgiving than the stock suspension
on some of the other lightweights I’ve
ridden recently. It also felt lighter than the
claimed 324-pound dry weight, which
certainly helped with the handling. But
given that the target market for this bike
is the noob core, the budget parts
make perfect sense.
The binders are more than
adequate at cruising speeds,
but on the track, I’d like a bit
more. The ABS worked
well and did not
get in the
way,
While it might not be exactly lisp-y, the
sound of a single coming from
a
“sportbike” also doesn’t fit
into the in-crowd’s multicylinder aural orgy.
Much like Jonathan Janke’s
nose, there is something not
quite right about the front
of this bike. The headlights
don’t look bad, just slightly
out of place.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
which seems to be more and more the
norm as the technology becomes more
common.
I was surprisingly comfortable on the RC.
Even at 6’ 1” I didn’t turn into a walking
cramp after a long ride—although a “long
ride” on this bike is subjective. The only
time my height became an issue was when
I was trying to tuck behind the bubble on
the straights—I ended up with my ass on
the pillion seat.
Since the bike is constantly poking you to
go faster, the RC’s little fuel tank doesn’t
get you very far. 10 liters sounds like a lot,
until you convert it to proper American
gallons, of which you get 2.6. On a spirited
ride ’round Lake Berryessa, I was able
to go about 110 miles
before the dreaded
“miles till you’re
walking”
countdown
began. I was
bummed
about the
mileage, but
my average
speed was…
well, let’s go
with spirited.
Even big dudes like Editor Surj can get down on the RC.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
My only other real complaint about the
RC 390 is the mirrors. I couldn’t really get
them adjusted so I could see behind me in
my around town riding position. To get a
good view behind me, I’d have to get into a
full…race…tuck…
Ready?
Well played, KTM. Well played.
Max is the guy in the white Dainese leathers
with the red CityBike logo on the back.
The only one.
An & Li’l Ricky, Sitting In A Tree
By An DeYoung
The trackday at Thunderhill started with
Max helping me unload my 748.
“Does your clutch always feel like this?”
This unhappy sentence turned into me
spending the day on the KTM RC 390, Li’l
Ricky. Yes, I named it. Him.
I knew about this bike from the pictures
my husband showed me months ago.
“We need this.”
Yeah… I’m 6 feet tall. What am I going
to do on that little thing? I’ll look like a
circus bear riding a toothpick.
Fast forward to broken trackbike day at
Thunderhill. There’s a KTM key in my
hand and a wide open track in front of me.
I wound out each gear. Distracting—pass
the duct tape, please.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
An and Li’l Ricky at T-Hill.
Li’l Ricky is so light I didn’t have to force
him into corners—I leaned, and he just
went. Once, I felt myself going wide, and
a little whisper in his ear had Ricky right
back into line. On we went.
Li’l Ricky and I rode every session we
could, and loved our time together. Even
with my height, for street riding the pegs
would be fine, but I’d mount some rearsets
for the track. Another minor annoyance
was the sidestand, which comes up right
under the left peg—so trying to find it with
your foot when you are in a hurry to park
and use the bathroom between sessions
is kind of a pain in the ass. Again, rearsets
would solve that issue.
Photo: Max Klein
Really, the most serious problem I had with
Li’l Ricky, that ultimately—unhappily—
ended our relationship, was that Editor
Surj made me give it back.
An is Leader Of The Sac. Wait… we weren’t
supposed to use that—too “dirty-sounding”
or some such. So… An is CityBike’s onewoman Sacramento operation. Don’t tell her
we mentioned that thing about The Sac, ok?
RC Shakedown
By Sam Devine
Even though it’s white and orange, this
little rocket isn’t instantly recognizable as
OK, twist my arm. I’ll give it a try.
a KTM. But once on board, it makes itself
quickly apparent as a fun, sporty little
You know that saying, the one about how
ripper. The body positioning on it was just
it’s more fun riding a slow bike fast than a
right for my 5’6” frame but there’s a nice
fast bike slow? Consider it confirmed by
triangulation between seat, bar and pegs
yours truly.
that reportedly makes it a comfortable bike
Li’l Ricky’s little motor doesn’t have a
for riders of most sizes. I think it weighs
whole lot of torque or engine braking, so I
something like three or four pounds
really had to change my style from what I’m and accelerates like a lap dog chasing a
used to doing on the old Duc. On the 390
pigeon, which is to say, remarkably quick,
I actually had to shift, and sometimes even especially for its little engine’s diminutive
use the brakes. I had to think more about
size. It’s as much fun per pound as any gohow my riding.
kart, but it’s street legal.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
Photo: Bob Stokstad
It’s not super fast, but neither am I. Still, the With its slightly larger displacement, it
shift indicator flashed at me constantly as
has a bit more kick than the Kawi’s
Photo: Bob Stokstad
smallest Ninja or Yamaha’s R3. I’ll be
surprised if these aren’t soon the race bike
of choice in small displacement categories.
Compared to the R3, though, I found the
pegs on the RC and (especially) the li’l
Duke easy to scrape. Magnanimous Max
Klein blames my body positioning, saying I
wasn’t off the bike enough and I’m inclined
to believe him. But it also seems to speak
to just how easy these bikes are to whip
around. Leaning these mini-motos over is
as easy as turning on a lightswitch.
I was having such a blast with the RC in our
session out at Thunderhill that I blew my
focus and lowsided it in turn 6. That’s right:
I crashed the dang thing on an easy turn.
For shame!
rest of the bike, including the plastics and
the seat showed remarkably little worseness
for the wear. The rear end hit the warning
track hard enough to pinch a hole in the
sidewall, but the rim survived unscathed.
On the straight, the RC could get to just
about 100 mph, slightly faster than the
naked little Duke. The only place I found
the RC’s performance lacking was while
going up the hill towards Thunderhill’s
turn 9. It just couldn’t power up the incline
in 6th gear, so I kept wringing it out in 5th.
That reminds me: the first thing I would
do if I bought either the Duke or the RC
would be to put a piece of duct tape over
the shift-indicator light. This big red bulb
feels like the largest thing on the dash and
But I gotta admit: the little RC took it like
it’s pretty much on all the time if you ride
a champ. The shift lever, turn signal and
at all aggressively. It freaked me out more
side-view mirror had to be replaced, but the than once as I looked down—I thought
I had blown the oil pump! But beginners
will find it a good indicator of when to shift
safely, helping them get the most life out of
their engine.
The RC 390 is a good buy for a new rider,
or an experienced one looking to get into
racing. Just don’t let me near it…
One of Sam’s bikes is orange, but—
If you really want to turn this into a
somehow—not a KTM.
race bike, it’ll need a bit of
a suspension upgrade. My
170lbs was able to bottom it out
while accelerating out of turn
5, scraping the bottom of the
fairing. But then I was pushing
the little RC to its limit, and a
little beyond. But smaller, saner
riders that stay safely just away
from the edge will find this to
be a well set-up, mini-mighty
motorcycle. KTM is also
making a race-ready version of
the bike called the RC 390 Cup
that comes without mirrors,
Photo: Bob Stokstad
signals and ABS.
Sam chases An out at Thunderhill.
Photo: Max Klein
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Dirtbag the 13th
By Sam Devine
Photos by Bob Stokstad & Surj Gish
A
bout thirty motorcycles of
mixed make are parked near the
intersection of Highways 92 and
35. It’s a beautiful afternoon and Brian
Wright’s left boot has a solid coating of oil.
Standing next to the sweet orange-andblack flamed chopper he built from a $500
Yamaha Maxim, Wright doesn’t seem to
mind. When offered some spare oil he
says: “Nah, I got plenty. As long as it’s still
leaking.”
This sort of cavalier attitude is common
amongst the competitors of the Dirtbag
Challenge. For those of you that have
missed it for the past 12 years, here are the
rules of the Dirtbag:
1. Build a chopper for under $1000.
2. Do it in under a month.
3. Complete a hundred-mile group (or so)
ride.
The bikes this year are really something
special. It’s always hard to say for sure,
amongst all the chaos, but the level of
craftsmanship, originality and skill seem
higher than ever. There were also 22 on
time, registered bikes back at the start.
Before we pulled away, head Dirtbag, Poll
Brown had some words for us:
In years past, the event has slipped easily
beneath the radar in the Wild, Wild West
that is the Bayview-Hunters Point area
of San Francisco. But the rising tide of
gentrification is even starting to seep out
to San Francisco’s most notoriously violent
districts.
As we tear throw the Bayview, folks on
the sidewalk stop to watch us go by—and
gathering attention in the Bayview is no
small feat. It strikes me how odd this rolling
monstrosity is. It’s like watching teeth float
down the lane: strange, mangled, wrong, a
fearsome thing.
The Dirtbag has always been a free
event, keeping the City coffers generally
disinterested:
As we go up and over Guadalupe Canyon,
I look over to see a beautiful young woman
on a sparkling CB175. She has a jean
jacket, a Gringo helmet and a small vintage
film camera hanging from her shoulder.
“Perhaps she’s a member of the hipster
press,” I think. “Toiling for SFist or The
Bold Italic or whoever has usurped them
this week in the game of hottest trending
bullshit.”
“We’ve lost money on it every year. Now
we just lose a lot more,” says Turk, Poll’s
partner in Dirtbaggery (it was $600 for the
sound permit alone). “Last year they came
“Now for only the second year ever we
around and asked for permits. I told them
pulled a permit because the Old Bill had
been breathing down our Gregory Pecker.” we’ve been doing it eleven years and never
(Brown is from South End, Essex.) “So they needed one. They said, ‘Well consider this
have asked us to ask you not to do too many your invitation.’”
burnouts. I asked, ok? But here’s a personal Along with the competitors, there are 20thing from me on the subject of burnouts.
plus returning dirtbaggers, press and traffic
Only once in my life ever have I done a
interference bikes, which makes for a weird
fucking burnout with my front wheel on
parade. It’s a strange sight and a stranger
the wall. Once. And that was just so I could sound. These bikes don’t just look like
do a burnout with a mate that wanted to
freaks from the freak factory, they sound
do a burnout. That’s bollocks. If you put
of a mangled menagerie: whistles and
your fucking front wheel on a wall to do
pops and bangs and roars and clangs and
a burnout, you haven’t done your brakes
ceaseless flatulation.
right.”
But then I remember the 49 Mile Ride that
left simultaneously from the same place
as the Dirtbag. Later on 280, I see an elder
gent in a full track suit stranding a gorgeous
Norton Commando 850. I give him a wave
and a fuck yeah. This is absolutely the first
one I’ve actually ridden next to. I sat on one
in a back yard while growing up and seen
them in museums—stared covetously at
their twenty-thousand dollar price tags on
craigslist. A beautiful British machine from
4. No Harleys.
Photo: Surj Gish
Stage Road did its best to rattle the bikes apart.
redwoods towards the coast, we turn onto
Stage Road, bumping down the narrow
lane through the coastal hills.
In Pescadero, we stop for gas and Jason
Pate scrapes his bike hard against a fuel
port in the parking lot. Hard enough to
freak him right the fuck out. Three of us
get down on our bellies to see if the engine
pan is ready to piss oil or if it can hold it til
the party. Luckily, the gorgeous ride, made
from a Bandit 1200s and a 1970-something
Amen Savior frame is ok.
coils and a magneto. So the lights are
hooked up to a strange-looking, flat battery
mounted to the top of the tank. Herrera
came down from Elk Grove. This is his
second year.
“I attempted last year and failed,” says
Herrera. “I tried to ride all the way from
Sacramento. That didn’t work out so well.”
Even after getting to the start, the Dirtbag
ride is no stroll through the park. And this
year it’s especially grueling. After leaving
Pescadero, we head up Highway One and
take Tunitas Creek Road back to Skyline.
We’ve been bumping and banging around
for hours on what Dave Jenks (who’s riding
his awesome CBR F4 hard tail from last
years DBC) calls “little goat roads.”
Tony Spinks leans his TT500-powered
rigid contraption against a fence rather
than fish his dinner-bell-shaped kickstand
out of his bag. He’s a little amazed that
Photo: Surj Gish his tail light is still on. Turns out a 500cc
thumper mounted in a rigid frame without
In all fairness, Poll Brown had warned us
the days of Steve McQueen for certain. But got a little Ganesh statue welded to its front any rubber motor mounts will rattle your
about the route at the rider’s meeting:
a Dirtbag? Certainly not.
fender. The headlight is framed by an artteeth a bit.
deco style cowling, fanning out like a light
“We’ve got a different route this year, it’s
At Alice’s Restaurant, up on Skyline, Eric
“It goes like stink. It wants to haul. I just
fixture at a movie theater. The rear end
a bit longer. There’s all kinds of pumpkin
MacDougald pulls up next to me. There’s
has been chopped down to bare bones and can’t stand the vibration.”
bullshit going on down in Half Moon Bay.
visible smoke coming from his engine. I
given a long monoshock from an R100GS.
Spinks’ bike will finish the ride and win
We don’t want any part of that. So we’re
question whether he has an oil or exhaust
leak.
“I just did what BMW eventually did,” says the award
Brian Wright’s Maxim-based chop.
Irish. His build came in around $800: $500 for Coolest.
“Naw,” he says. “I took the radiator cap off.
It will also
for the bike; $150 for a new rear tire; $150
I’m gonna top it off with water.”
for another parts bike. Everything else was flip out from
underneath
laying around his custom metal shop.
“Just water?” I ask. “Not anti-freeze?”
him while
It’s easy to see how the Dirtbag concept
“Nah. If it’s gonna be leaking all over, it
doing a
gives an inherent advantage to folks that
might as well be water.”
burnout
work with their hands for a living.
and land on
Too true. Too true.
top of Brian
Take for instance the Dirtbagger built by
Now, some of you may be thinking: “But
Bill Dietrich, who runs Quality Motorcycle Wright’s
putting tap water in a cooling system will
Repair, a one-man shop in Mill Valley. The bike. Spinks
corrode yada blah thermostat yada fittings 1982 KZ 750 he completed the challenge
got the 1977
blah blah total system failure.” And so
TT500cc
with was last registered in Texas in 1991
forth.
engine for
and had been sitting in in his shop’s yard
$200 from
for
twelve
years.
After
spraying
some
This is where I must remind you that
some kid that
Marvel
Mystery
oil
in
the
cylinders
and
MacDougald has spent approximately $350
had it in a gobuying a cheap fender from the internet,
dollars on this bike. It is closer to a bottle
he figures his entire build was around $40. kart. He built
rocket than a daily commuter. As long as
Photo: Surj Gish
Everything else was either was either lying the frame
it gets back to Hunters Point and does a
around his shop or was traded for stuff that himself from
burnout, it’s a winner.
going to stay out of that… It’s going to be a
about $200 worth of steel. The front end
was lying around his shop.
Right next to him is Grant Irish’s 1982
came from a ‘99 Bandit and the rear wheel little bit longer but hopefully it will be a bit
After
enough
time
to
fuel
up
the
bike
and
more fun because of that.”
BMW R65 chop. It looks like a blast,
from an SV650.
wrapped in hand crafted aluminum, with a guzzle down a cup of coffee, the ride heads
So after a bit more fun, Rich, President of
down La Honda Road. It’s an awe-inspiring Sitting on the cinder blocks near the gas
big dirt tire on the back—it’s my personal
the Mad Dogs MC declares: “You guys on
morning. Crisp, clear air. Cold in the shade pumps is Rob Herrera. His yellow 1986
choice for “Bike I Wanna Ride.” It’s even
hard tails must have hemorrhoids the size
Yamaha TY350 is rigged to run off three
and warm in the sun. Sweeping out of the
of golf balls by now!”
We’ve made it back to where our story
began: the intersection of 92 and 35. And
yes, truly, after the 80 miles we’ve already
done, the hard tailed guys have paid no
small price, displayed no small bit of
endurance. Tony Spinks is cursing the fact
that all that stands between his posterior
and his high-vibration custom is four layers
of yoga mat. Yup. His seat is made of four
layers of yoga mat.
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“So do you do yoga?” I ask skeptically,
looking at the large, tall Harley-Davidson
employee.
“No,” says Spinks, laughing. “I walked into
Big 5 and saw it right away and grabbed
it. The counter girl was looking at me like
‘What?’”
We’re almost done with a 120 mile ride,
with only a quick rip up 280 left to return
us to Hunters Point and the grease and
glory that awaits. We’re just waiting
momentarily for Poll Brown to catch up
after getting a flat tire.
Once back at the event, people tell me the
event is tamer than years past and I suppose
it’s true. A few bicycle cops are passing
back and forth. That, along with warnings
from Turk and Poll, seems to be enough to
discourage the non-stop lawless barrage
of wheelies, burnouts, and drunken public
nakedness that the event has been in years
past. Perhaps it’s a mellower, more mature
Dirtbag. After all, at 13, the event is old
enough to do its own laundry, pack its own
lunch and walk to school by itself.
Winning
Dirtbags
Photos: Bob Stokstad
“That’s San Francisco,” says Lucky 13
manager Martin Kraenkel while showing
off his ‘67 Harley in the parking lot.
“Anywhere there’s fun they stop it. Look at
Halloween in the Castro.”
But it’s still a blast. Guido still flies the
chair on his sidecar. The music is still
excessively loud and there are still plenty of
burnouts. Liza Miller of Re-Cycle Garage
and the “Motorcycles and Misfits” crew
came up from Santa Cruz and had a tailgate
party. They also recorded a podcast that
can be found at MotorcyclesAndMisfits.
com.
And I finally get a good look at Alan Lapp’s
amazing DR 650. The frame is a custom
ring of two-inch pipe that doubles as the
gas tank. Near the bottom of it, a jet ski
fuel pump sends gas up to another piece of
pipe on top of the handlebars. This little
reservoir has a drain that goes to the carb
and an overflow hose that returns to the
frame/tank. It’s an ingenious, enclosed
gasoline fountain that allows the carb to sip
fuel via gravity the way nature intended.
Photo: Surj Gish
And then Justin Martens sweeps almost
every category. Martens’ deathmobile
mutant kronenburg KTM 500 took
People’s Choice, The Jake, The Sketchiest,
and the Gulu. And then he runs his
mouth just a little bit too long. I remember
winning a single award in 2012, also for the
Gulu: the hairiest, most-likely-to-kill-you
bike amongst the pack. I remember the
euphoria, the sheer sense of invincibility,
the rush of being cheered for by a pack of
his words and rightly so. When your flying
so high that you’ve gotta look down to see
the sky, there’s no point in taking a dump
on the moon—it’s dealt with enough
interstellar bullshit already.
And then things get violent. Trophies are
smashed. No humans are harmed, but
some trophies prove more resilient than
others. I’m just sick enough in the head that
my eyes grow wide as the first trophy hits
Rides for the kids, and adults too!
Lapp’s bike also features Hossack front
suspension. It’s worth looking up online,
but in the meantime, imagine a front end
that floats out in front of the bike and
seems to defy the laws of physics and any
other rules that might keep the front wheel
from going for a stroll all by its lonesome.
He wins Craftiest Contraption and
deserves it.
Photo: Bob Stokstad
“If you haven’t seen this dude’s fucking
bike, you’ve gotta check it out,” say Poll
while giving the award. “Cause I’ve been
riding longer than some of you cunts have
been in long trousers and I ain’t never seen
nothing like it!”
people you respected and feared. It was like the ground—a trophy I’m fairly certain
floating through an art gallery with a flame wasn’t Martens’s in fact but the “Coolest”
thrower and a morphine drip. I could do no award that was handed to Tony Spinks.
wrong.
“For me, it’s about the ride,” says Brian
But Martens wins multiple awards.
Wright later, after winning the Founder’s
Choice award. “When you’re looking back
And while most other recipients had said,
on your life, you’re not going to look back
“Thanks to my
and say ‘When I was 37 I won that trophy
wife for putting
for building that bike.’ Naw, you can have
Photo: Bob Stokstad
up with my shit,”
the trophy.”
somewhere
amidst the
It would seem there are two lessons here: 1)
euphoria and
When you win big, don’t talk shit. 2) Don’t
supermanism,
pay too much attention to the awards and
Martens decides what’s said about them. Most likely the
to keep talking
recipients are barely self-aware.
and happens to
“I don’t even know what I said,” Martens
look at a trike –
explains as he packs up later.
one damn fine
trike – and says
But then that’s motorcycling. Sometimes
what honestly
we lose focus for a moment and wind up
came to his
asking, “What happened?” As long as
Brent Mason and Gail Smith of California Sport Touring
alcohol-andeveryone can walk away from it, we’ll get
decided to revive Ed Cavanaugh’s Yamaha DT250 dirtbagger
success-soaked
to do it all again. And despite all my note
and ride it in his memory for this year’s ‘Bag—a fitting tribute, in
mind. Positive,
taking, the Dirtbag leaves me dizzy each
conjunction with Ed’s memorial at Ocean Beach the day before
encouraging,
year. There was so much going on that I
the Dirtbag.
it is not. And
Sam is a former Dirtbagger, moto-instructor
completely forgot to mention the Ducati
the people that
Gail, mechanic at CA ST, and one of Ed’s good friends, rode
and CityBike’s newest columnist. Turn to the
rider that went down in front of me on
made the trike
the DT-bagger. It chucked its chain on the way to Alice’s, but a
next page to read the latest.
Tunitas Creek Road…
take issue with
replacement was installed, and Gail finished the ride on the bike.
Chain. Sprockets. Lights. Why, one time
he brought that thing by and there wasn’t
a drop of oil left in it. I mean the drain plug
was dry. I asked him when the last time he
checked the oil was and he said he couldn’t
remember. So I told him he was out of oil.
And he said, ‘I guess I hadn’t noticed.’”
sam DEVINE
Illustration by Sam Devine
T
“Shoulda seized up!
Another time he left
that bike with me
overnight and I
got to it the next
day. But there
wasn’t a drip o’
fuel in it. So I was
worried that he’d
got some gas leak and
I checked the yard and
the shop and drained
the oil to see if it was
full of petrol.”
of it. Danged
thing certainly
wasn’t gonna
turn any
better… Did
the Kid expect
it to go faster?
If that was what
he was after, he
should really be
thinking about a
big bore kit.
he Kid had brought his Sportster
around the Shop a couple times. It
was a fun enough bike, the Wrench
figured, having putted around the yard
on it a few times. The Kid was doing the
usual customization to it: swapping out the
handlebars; putting the license plate and
brake light down by the chain; trading the
standard gas tank for a peanut. And he’d
changed the stock seat to a little springer,
even though the bike was already a soft tail. “It’ll look cool,”
the Kid explained.
The Wrench figured he couldn’t knock him
too hard for it, though, even if it was adding Well, shit. Shoulda
up to pretty much the same custom bike as seen that coming.
He thought for
a lot of others. Well, shoot, who out there
a moment and,
ever said, “Yep, I got a bone-stock Harley
finding nothing
and that’s the way I like it.”
to combat this sentiment, suddenly felt
But now the Kid wanted to do something
trapped on a project bike. Again. There was
weird and the Wrench didn’t know how
no way out. Dammit. It would look cool.
to feel about it. The Kid was talking about
“Ok, sure,” he heard himself saying. “But
jamming an extended swingarm from a
you wanna attach it how?”
drag-racing GSX-R onto the poor little
Sporty. For the life of him, the Wrench
It was a six-of-one, half-dozen-of-thecouldn’t figger what there was to get out
other sort of deal. The chain was getting
longer either way, so at least that was
straightforward. They could cut the
new swing arm here and there, weld the
frame accordingly, or mount on the stock
bushings in the new swing arm and leave
the frame alone. The Kid nattered on for
a while and then finished up by saying: “I
mean; it should work in theory.”
The Wrench snorted.
“In theory,” he said. “In theory.”
He reached into his stained grey coveralls
(or were they faded blue?) and pulled out
a pack of cigarettes. The Kid never could
figure out where the Wrench got those
things. They had no brand name—just
read “Cigarettes” in black on a white
cardboard box. Maybe the Wrench had a
palette of military-issue smokes hidden
downstairs somewhere. He had been in the
Corps. But was it Korea or Vietnam? The
Kid would work up the nerve to ask some
day.
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“Should work in theory,” the Wrench said
again, taking a drag. “Heh. Stranger things
Horatio... Heh, heh, heh. Should work in
theory. D’you ever meet old Keith Oarman?
No, well, I s’pose that’s before your time,
really. How ‘bout the Delta? You ever spend
much time out thataways?”
“Sure,” said the Kid. “Out by the docks and
the Rod and Gun Club. My brother and me
had an inflatable canoe we used to paddle
around and hunt crawdads. Used to just
whack ‘em out onto the sand with sticks.
Called it ‘Mud Bug Golfin’.”
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“Shouldn’t the engine
have…”
“Ha, whatever works, right? So, Oarman
lived out there in them moss-covered trees.
We were in the Corps together back when
we was in… well, anyway, he used ta work
the boats out in the delta, fishing, fixing,
rigging, whatever. And he had an old
panhead that he’d drag around.
“He dint used to do a damn thing to that
bike. He’d come in for a tire change and
I’d look the bike over and tell him what he
really needed was about seven other things.
He paused, dragging
from his nameless
cigarette. “Well, there
was at least oil in it
this time but there weren’t no gas.
So I called him up and told him so. And
he said it made sense—in theory—since
the last place he’d fueled up was about 400
miles away.”
“Four hundred miles?! How big was his
tank?”
“That’s the thing! I told him over the
phone: ‘Keith, you only got a five gallon
tank. You shoulda run outta gas over a
hundred miles back!’ You know what he
said? ‘Oh, I guess I hadn’t noticed.’”
“Hadn’t noticed?! But…”
“Yeah, so Oarman passed a few years
after that. An’ his wife called me up and
said she was pretty sure some teenagers
were messing with his old Shovelhead
‘cause she’d been wakin’ up to the sound
of its engine coming and going. So I went
over there and prepped it for storage like
it shoulda been from the git go when she
decided not to sell sell it or bury ‘im with it.
Drained the gas and oil and locked the rear
tire to a tree with a length a chain.
“There,” I said. ‘That should work in
theory.
‘Sheeee-it. I don’t think I’ve said that since.
“Wait…But...Why not?”
“Why not?! I’ll tell you why not: I was
down by the docks a few days later, pickin’
up some oysters from the Shucker. It was
dusk and we saw someone out on the
levee road, riding an old Shovelhead. The
Shucker says: ‘Say, don’t that look like old
Oarman? ...but… but he’s dead.’ And…”
“Maybe he just didn’t notice,” said the Kid.
“Oh, you’re funny. Why don’t you go read
that postcard on the fridge over there.
I’monna push your bike up on the lift.”
Sam is CityBike’s newest columnist. He lives
in SF, teaches motorcycling and kitesurfing
and is currently competing with Editor Surj
for the “gnarliest facial hair at CityBike”
trophy.
my best British accent,
“Caveat emptor when
smelling bollocks.
Nothing in their marketing
Chief, World material said they piloted their
Adventure
BMW motorcycles, or even a
Affairs Desk single motorcycle, on all seven
of the continents, which includes
Antarctica. The reader is
the fool to not question
whether it was having
motorcycled on all of
the seven recognized
ullshit. This verbal corruption of
continents, or that the
truth abounds in the adventure
couple had been on five
motorcycling world like greenish
fungus growing between the booted toes of of the seven once, and
motorcyclists exploring equatorial regions the sixth one twice,
thereby arriving at
on the cheap. The foot scourge thrives
their self-produced
on dirty feet and sweaty socks seldom
washed. Written or verbal fungal adventure ad material of ‘7
continents.’ As for
motorcycle rot also thrive, thanks to the
this kind of bollocks
Internet.
being a violation,
Definitions of bullshit include the words
it may possibly
exaggeration, lies, deceptive, boastful
be a violation of
language, crap and rubbish. I live in
a trusting public
Montana, where we politely refer to BS as
and camaraderie
the excrement of a male bovine. However, of the adventure
when one of a group of motorcyclists
motorcycling
recently claimed they had crossed into
community, but
China from Muse (in Myanmar), with a
globally it is not a
text saying “got in, no problems at all,” my
violation of any
Montana nose sniffed fresh male bovine
established rules,
excrement.
merely a question of
ethics and integrity.”
While this claim was not an outright
lie, it was boastful
language that excluded
a key element in the
world of adventure
motorcyclists pushing
the envelope of
recently-opened
motorcycle travel
possibilities in and
out of Myanmar. The
group’s boasting left
out the ingredient
Illustration by Mr. Jensen
they needed to make
this claim: money.
A query to the event promoter questioning
They paid big money to a local guide
the origin and veracity of the claims was
who schmoozed the crossing with the
required MMT Permit from the Myanmar replied to most professionally with, “All
our guests get to present themselves as
government, allowing them to appear to
have big face by doing something at which they desire.” So the source of the bollocks
was the British BMW riders themselves,
others had failed or could not sort out by
not some slick marketing firm or event
themselves. The hole in their excrement
led readers to believe the group had merely promoter. As the KTM adventurer noted,
“you can sell yourself anyway you want.”
rocked up to the border, unescorted, and
had no problem doing what informed,
The KTM fellow bounced back after
hardened travelers knew could not be done. receiving the response with a link to
dr. gregory w. FRAZIER
B
British BS was recently flowing from a
couple who were selling an evening dinner
with them for $20 per ticket, their Internet
advertisement reading that they were “two
of the world’s best adventure riders,” having
traveled “122 countries, 7 continents”over
“12 years of global travel.”
One KTM-riding recipient of the couple’s
Internet marketing invitation wrote,
“World’s best? I never even heard of these
people! It’s all about marketing yourself,
I guess. Even if it’s all bullshit, I suppose
you can sell yourself any way you want. But
it does somehow seem to be a violation,
doesn’t it?”
Bowing to the couple being from Great
Britain where bollocks is the accepted
English slang for bullshit, I replied with
another Brit and his video promo for a
television show of him circumnavigating
Africa. In the video clip the viewer was
treated to the claims of his having done
this all “on his own, unsupported, 34
countries 55,000 kilometers,” which
included a few seconds of narration about
the Yamaha rider dodging bullets. On the
screen appeared three bullet holes in a
plate glass, looking like a car windscreen,
accompanied on the audio track with the
sound of gunfire: “bang bang.”
Writing back, I said “Cracking good
audio-visual bollocks! When I saw the
bullet holes appear and heard the gunfire,
the vodka martini I was stirring started
to be James Bond-shaken. It’s all been
done before, this riding motorcycles in
“migan on it.” It is just Internet
motorcycle adventure bull flop.
the link.”
and around Africa,
sleeping in bug infested
rooms, gunfire and bad
roads. I will skip the TV
show, but in the future
when you are surfing
the Internet motorcycle
adventure video clips and
find some motorcycle
adventurist who did
Africa naked, or at least
wearing a speedo, with
motorcycle gloves, boots
and a helmet, send me
Shaking the next martini, I pondered,
“How does one interpret or move into
a suspension of belief mode with this
Internet adventure motorcycle excrement
of the male bovine kind?”
Hygienically! Some deep operative jungle
foot training bubbled up through my
martini-clouded gray matter. The covert
jungle fighters were taught to attend to
their feet or bad flop could eat into a leg
or kidney, a nasty fungal grunge named
Cellulitis. The simple prevention was
dry feet and cleanliness. If not possible,
then foot powder with clean socks. If the
powder was not available, then the trainees
were told to go to the old Indian treatment:
urinate on their feet.
Extrapolating to motorcycle adventure bull
flop from foot rot first meant first another
shaken drink to help thinking way outside
my head when reading or seeing these
advertisements, promotions or hearing
them at some travelers meeting around a
campfire. The answer was to simply do
what the jungle warriors did to bad feet,
say to one’s self, “micturate on it” or in Old
English, so the Brits could understand,
Dr. Frazier’s new all-color coffee
table book, DOWN AND OUT IN
PATAGONIA, KAMCHATKA
AND TIMBUKTU, available
at mototorbooks.com, is the
first-ever first-hand chronicle of a
never-ending motorcycle ride by “the
world’s most cerebral motorcyclist.” It is
highly “recommended” by Grant Johnson,
horizonsunlimited.com adventure travel
book guru, and for dream riding armchair
and keyboard adventurists.
junk. Junk. And mixed in there, SOME
kind-of interesting stuff.
maynard
The uncle had a couple old Indian
motorcycles and a good-looking Royal
Enfield that might have been imported as
an Indian, back, I guess, in the late
50’s. He had a Matchless single that
was all there, as they say, and some
kind of old Norton twin, maybe a
600.
HERSHON
This piece ran in CityBike back in the mideighties, twenty years after the action in the
first part of the story.
I
n the spring of ‘63, I rode my Velocette
from Tucson to Los Angeles, packing
my buddy Al. Al’s mission: purchase a
Velo for himself at dealer price, direct from
the U.S. distributor, Lou Branch.
Al’s uncle, who had some kind of business
license, was to broker the slightly shady
deal. For his nephew. For $50.
The bikes sat outside in the weather;
none looked even close to new. Still, they
were charming old machines and lots of
guys must’ve wanted them.
stuff floor to ceiling, too, except for the
tunnel-like passage left in the stuff so the
uncle could get to his bed. If he walked
sideways and stooped over.
No noisy plumbing disturbed the peace
of the stuff and the uncle in the trailer.
Restroom facilities at nearby businesses
sufficed; too much luxury dulls a man’s
edge, after all. The uncle, a somewhat
idiosyncratic individual, ignored polite
society’s priorities. He danced, you’ll agree,
to his own tune.
Al’s uncle appeared to be a dealer in
motorcycles and parts. His appearance
He had gearboxes.
Remember, in those
rough old days, engines
were engines and
gearboxes bolted on
behind. He had Burman
and A.M.C. and Norton and Triumph
and B.S.A. gearboxes. He had
sprockets. He had
points and
The lot fronted on a run-down commercial
street. Two house trailers, unmoved for
years, sat on blocks, all but invisible in the
weeds. Surrounding the trailers, corner
to corner and edge to edge in the lot, lay
motorcycles and parts.
Rusty old motorcycles, dusty newer
motorcycles, and mounds, piles and heaps
of boxed and unboxed parts. Uncountable,
indescribable amounts and varieties of
what most right-thinking Americans call
condensers (hundreds). He had coils. He
had Lucas parts boxes in knee-deep piles
on the ground.
He had fenders and headlight shells, and
the nacelles British bikes used to have
shrouding their headlights. Switches,
chrome rims (both headlight and wheel),
brake shoes and Smiths instruments. You
get the idea.
None of this stuff was, well, arranged. It
likely rested where it landed the first time
he set it down to grab more stuff. Unless
someone kicked it by accident, it stayed
right there. Everywhere. Stuff wall-towall. A guy wanted to graze through it, sift
through it, like you’d do if you dropped
your ring at the beach.
The one trailer admitted no one. That
old mobile home stored stuff, let me
tell you, from its invisible (but sagging,
I’ll bet) floor to its bulging ceiling. You
dared not open the door. You might
have nerve enough to jump a motorcycle
over 17 Cadillacs, but no way would you
turn that handle and brave the torrential
consequences.
Hey, but the other trailer. Al’s uncle lived
in that one. You’d figure it’d be only messy,
maybe, with stuff. Wrong. That trailer had
The uncle’s income, had there been any,
would’ve come from the sale of bikes or
parts for a profit. Because he never sold
any of his motorcycles or parts he had no
profits, so his lifestyle had to be simple and
lean.
So he saved on water and utilities by
getting by without them.
I believe, further, that he saw
no benefit in bathing. There
were no showers in the public
restrooms nearby, anyway.
Illustration by Mr. Jensen
Al did, in fact, succeed in buying that
Velocette, a Venom Clubman. Hard
as it is to believe, back when many
of today’s collector bikes were
readily available on showroom
floors, they sold slowly—or not
at all. If Branch had had dealers
screaming for 500cc
Velos, he wouldn’t have
sold that one to Al. So
everybody was happy.
Al and I rode our
matching singles over to
his uncle’s place. Al had
described it as a used
motorcycle store and
wrecking yard. Nothing
in my experience had
prepared me for Al’s
uncle or his so-called business.
patience. He’d collect, little by little, all the
motorcycle stuff he could. Sooner or later
some guy would come by and want to buy
some item, some component of that stuff,
and he could laugh and refuse to sell it.
Satisfying, huh?
deceived.
While Al and
I visited, a would-be
customer arrived at the lot and took
a long look at the Royal Enfield twin, or as
much of it as he could see sticking up out
of the weeds. He smiled at Al’s uncle and
us and introduced himself. He wanted, he
said, to buy that old Enfield.
The uncle smiled. He shook his head.
You don’t have enough money, he told the
fellow, to buy that bike. The guy said he
didn’t want any gifts, that he could afford
it and he’d been thinking about it for some
time. He said he was an Enfield kinda guy.
He wanted to pay a fair price and own this
one.
I don’t think you understand, the uncle
said; you can’t afford that motorcycle.
By then the customer could see what was
going on. He said again, though, that
he was willing to pay whatever was fair.
I remember he mentioned a figure that
sounded fair, even generous.
Al’s uncle laughed.
You obviously don’t have any idea, he told
the guy, what you’re looking at here. Don’t
waste my time.
The guy left. I looked at the uncle and
knew in an instant that he never ever sold
anything at all. He kept things, things you
wanted, things he had.
He possessed, I believe (after reflecting
on that visit all these years) infinite
So, Al’s uncle needed
industrial strength deodorant,
which he naturally (heh)
didn’t bother to use. You didn’t
have to look up from your
reading to know it was him
who walked into the room.
You could just tell—even if it
was a big room.
He wore the same clothes for
weeks, evidently, and bathed
occasionally if at all, but he
talked like a high-roller. He
had this pose, that he was
a successful businessman,
that he made deals and sold
high-ticket stuff, that he was
somebody there in SoCal. You
sat there and looked him in the
eyes while he went on about all this fasttracking and you tried super hard not to
smell him.
He took me to coffee next door to his lot
at a little greasy spoon cafe. I bought; he’d
left his Diner’s card in his other suit. While
we sat at the counter there, people sliding
by to get to their seats did big takes as they
passed.
I listened to him, fascinated but
embarrassed and uncomfortable. When he
flirted with the waitress, I winced. When
he hit on her, inviting her to his trailer after
closing, I drew the line. I gotta leave, I said.
Al and I got on those two wonderful black
thirty-inchers and thumped away to San
Francisco.
A decade later I met a fellow who used to
ride to Alice’s Restaurant on weekends. He
had a remarkable habit. Each time Honda
released a new model, he’d buy two. The
first two. All the other guys would stand
around and admire his new motorcycle,
whatever it was. And only he had one like
it. Why, in fact, he had two, one of them still
in the crate, unridden.
When whatever model it may have been
became easily available, he’d sell both of
the ones he owned. Struck a chord in my
memory. This was Al’s uncle, scrubbed up.
He had it, whatever it was; guys wanted
it but couldn’t have it. That made it cool.
Maybe just having that circle of manly
men standing around you made it cool.
Made him feel accepted, or respected…
something.
Probably something.
ed HERTFELDER
H
ave you ever tried to teach your
girl to ride a dirtbike and never
seen her again? Have you ever
tried to run a long-reach spark plug in a
short-reach cylinder head by only screwing
it in part way? Been so tired you couldn’t
reset your speedometer?
Have you ever been bulldogging down
a steep slope and had a bee walk across
your eyelid? Hitched up a loaded
three-bike trailer by
yourself, then spent five
minutes getting yourself
straightened up again?
Have you ever checked
your jacket pockets and
found five open-end
wrenches of the same
exact size?
Have you ever felt sore and stiff on a
Monday and worse on Tuesday? Stared at
a pile of returned gas cans for ten minutes
before finding yours right out in front?
Have you ever found out who the jerk was
that thumped the side of your van at three
in the morning?
Have you ever found out exactly how far
your motorcycle would go on reserve? Bent
Have you ever removed a rear wheel while
you kept the motorcycle balanced on a
milk crate with your nose? Tried to kickstart a 600cc motorcycle with bare feet?
Have you ever collided with one of 350
competitors in an enduro, who turned out
to be a fellow club member? Have you ever
tried to drive a van full of motorcycles up a
wet grass slope?
Ever found your can of chain lube exactly
where you left it?
Have you ever used an insect repellent
that was worse than the insects? Have you
ever waved to a friend with your left hand
and pulled your throttle grip off with your
right? Ever found a beautiful pair of goggles
on the trail and then lost them?
n
nse
tr
Illus
Have you ever lost the jaw from an
adjustable wrench? Bent an ignition key
with your knee? Have you ever searched
five minutes for a valve stem before finding
it clenched between your teeth? Lost a kick
start lever and started your bike with a
Vice-Grip on the splines?
Have you ever tried to write the brand of
your bike in yellow snow?
Have you ever replaced a wheel then found
another spacer on the ground? Tightened a
spoke at a gas stop and broken the end off?
Have you ever loaned out your bike trailer
then had to track it down through four
different guys?
Have you ever a met a deer coming the
other way on a narrow trail?
Have you ever crested a steep ridge and
hung there with both wheels off the
ground? Thought your clutch cable had
broken until you found the adjuster nut
three feet down the cable? Have you ever
ridden thru so much water that your engine
oil looked like battleship paint?
Have you ever bugged a female rider for her
phone number and gotten a Dial-A-Prayer
message?
Ever used a car ski rack to carry your
crutches? Banged your nose so hard you
couldn’t enjoy picking it for two weeks?
Have you ever spent $600 making an
$800 motorcycle perform like a $1,200
motorcycle?
Have you ever bought something you really
needed at a swap meet? Put a six-volt bulb
in a twelve-volt system?
Have you ever watched your broken hand
melt out of sight, into a big block of ice?
Ever forgotten your AMA card and had to
buy a new one, three weeks in a row? Lifted
your motorcycle onto a milk crate, then
needed something in the crate?
Have you ridden with a bandana tied
around your forehead to soak up sweat and
had it drop down over your eyes, just when
you needed them most?
Have you ever dragged your brakes for
two miles after a water cross and just as
they stated grabbing again, dropped into
another creek? Tried to make up time on a
gravel road only to overshoot a turn by
445 yards?
e
r. J
yM
b
n
atio
Ever ridden two and a
half miles getting to the
other side of ten-yard mud
hole? Tried to push-start a
motorcycle on a two-footwide ledge? Have you ever tried to change a
spark plug quickly and put the old one back a loading ramp? Tried to find a rusty cotter
pin in last year’s pine needles?
in again?
Have you ever entered an enduro using the
last money you had, then drained fuel from
the bike to get the van home again? Had
to give back a trophy after they discovered
a scoring error? Have you ever sold a
motorcycle on the half down and half never
plan?
up table, ready to go, and gotten a number
that leaves in 93 minutes?
Have you arrived later than usual and
gotten a number that starts in four
minutes? Have you ever ridden to the sign
Have you ever had an exhausted rider total
your best—only—folding chair?
Have you ever caught a branch with
your throat and thought you had a do-ityourself tracheotomy? Swung a tall trophy
into the rear seat of a car and broken the
windshield with the head of the little gold
rider? Leaned your motorcycle against an
old truck just before it
moved away?
Have you ever reridden an entire 90
mile event in your
sleep?
Have you ever crashed
because of a Playboy
centerfold stapled
to a tree? Had a loose
watchband grind a hole in
your wrist? Taken your boot off
and been afraid to look at your foot?
Needed help to get your wallet out of your
back pocket?
Ever quit riding forever, two weeks in a row?
Have you ever wondered if all the haveyou-evers really happened?
Get Ed’s latest book, 80.4 Finish Check on
Amazon.com!
CityBike Classifieds
CLASSIFIEDS
TOWING
Enter these contacts into your phone now, while you are thinking about it, so that
you will have them when you need them.
Cycle Tow
510-644-2453(BIKE) Est 1988 24hr emergency service.
Reasonable rates.
We tow all makes of motorcycles, sidecars and trikes.
We also network with many other motorcycle tow services throughout
the entire Bay Area. If we can’t get to you quickly, we can find you a tow
service that’s closer. We are based in Berkeley, CA.
SAN FRANCISCO AND BEYOND:
DAVE’S CYCLE TRANSPORT
The Old Man
The Old Truck
Dave is working
Dave’s Cycle Transport
San Francisco-Bay Area and Beyond…
24 Hour Service
(415)824-3020 — www.davescycle.com
Motorcycle & ATV Hauling
Sonoma, Marin, Napa & Mendocino Counties
24 hour Roadside Pickup
707-843-6584
Insured & Licensed
California Motor Carrier Permit
www.mcmotorcycletransport.com
[email protected]
DEALER CLASSIFIED
Dubbelju Motorcycle
Rentals / Storage
First, a few words about the condition of our equipment. All advertised
vehicles are technically and operationally sound and factory original
(very important for vehicle inspection and licensing out-of-country).
Components which show even a trace of wear or fatigue are replaced.
In other words, you receive a motorcycle which, while it may have some
miles on the odometer, has been routinely and expertly maintained.
2013 BMW F800GS 34k miles (Kalamata metallic) Fully loaded: ABS,
ESA, ASC, heated grips, computer, and adjustable shock. It has 34K
miles, factory warranty is valid until 3/2016 or 36K miles. The major
36K service was recently completed by BMW San Francisco. CA tags till
MAR 2016. We were asking $9,950 but have reduced the price to only
$7,800.00 or best offer!
2012 BMW R1200GS 45k miles (Titan Silver) 110hp, 1170cc, 6 Speed,
shaft drive, braided steel brake and clutch hoses, computer, heated
grips, BMW Vario panniers, centerstand, LED rear light, luggage rack,
adjustable levers, hand protectors, adjustable windshield, adjustable
seat, cast aluminum wheels, recently serviced, CA tags till Jun 2016.
Only asking $9,500 or best offer!
2014 BMW R1200GS 33k miles (Red) 125hp, liquid cooled Boxer,
electronic intake pipe injection/BMS-K digital engine management
with electromotive throttle actuator, Dynamic ESA, digital engine
management with twin-spark ignition, shaft drive, braided steel brake
and clutch hoses, computer, ABS partly integrated (switchable),
electronic immobilizer, heated grips, BMW Vario panniers, centerstand,
LED rear light, luggage rack, adjustable levers, hand protectors,
adjustable windshield, adjustable seat, aluminum wheels, recently
serviced, CA tags till Apr 2016. Only asking $14,950 or best offer!
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J&M Motorsports LLC
2243 Old Middlefield Way
Mountain View, Ca 94043
650-386-1440
www.jm-ms.com
We have a huge selection of Sport bikes, Cruisers, Dual Sport & Dirt
Bikes! We are a licensed dealer owned and operated by people who love
motorcycles. We specialize in newer, low-mile, affordable bikes!
We offer in-house financing! Visit our website and fill out an application
today!
Looking for your first bike, your tenth? J&M is not a giant dealership.
When you call or visit, you’re talking directly with non-commission team
members who are passionate about motorcycles and who want to help
you get the bike you desire!
Looking to sell your bike? Consignments are welcome!
Come by and take a look!
BMW
2010 BMW S1000RR - $10,995
Can-Am:
2014 Can-Am Spyder RT Limited - $22,995
Harley-Davidson
2011 Harley-Davidson FLHX Street Glide - $15,995
2014 Harley-Davidson FLHX Street Glide - $18,995
2014 Harley-Davidson FLSTFB Fat Boy Lo - $14,495
2012 Harley Davidson FLTRU Road Glide Ultra - $18,995
2009 Harley-Davidson FXDB Dyna Street Bob - $10,995
2011 Harley-Davidson FXDWG Dyna Wide Glide - $10,995
1999 Harley-Davidson FXST Softail - $6,995
2014 Harley Davidson XL883N Sportster 883 Iron - $8,995
2012 Harley Davidson XL1200X Sportster Forty-Eight - $9,495
2003 Harley-Davidson V-Rod Anniversary - $8,995
2014 Harley-Davidson V-Rod Night Rod Special - $14,995
Honda
2012 Honda CBR250R - $3,795
2006 Honda CBR600RR - $5,995
2006 Honda CBR600RR - $6,495
2007 Honda CBR1000RR - $6,995
2008 Honda CBR1000RR - $7,995
2004 Honda RVT Racing RC51 - $6,995
2008 Honda Shadow 750 Aero - $4,795
2002 Honda CR125R - $2,495
2012 Honda CRF450R - $5,495
Kawasaki
2013 Kawasaki KX450F - $5,795
2015 Kawasaki KX450F - $6,695
2007 Kawasaki Ninja 500R - $3,995
2006 Kawasaki Ninja 650R - $3,795
2008 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-6R - $6,995
2009 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-6R Monster Edition - $7,995
2012 Kawasaki Z1000 - $7,495
2009 Kawasaki Teryx Side-by-Side - $8,495
KTM
2003 KTM 450 SX - $3,995
2013 KTM 150 XC - $4,995
Suzuki
2013 Suzuki GW250 - $3,795
2008 Suzuki GSX-R600 - $7,495
2009 Suzuki GSX-R600 - $7,995
2014 Suzuki GSX-R600 - $9,995
2012 Suzuki GSX-R600 - $9,495
2013 Suzuki GSX-R600 - $9,995
2011 Suzuki GSX-R750 - $8,495
2008 Suzuki GSX-R1000 - $8,995
2008 Suzuki GZ250 - $2,995
2014 Suzuki RM-Z450 - $4,995
2012 Suzuki V-Strom DL1000 - $7,695
2011 Suzuki Boulevard C50T - $3,995
Triumph
2014 Triumph Street Triple R ABS - $9,495
2014 Triumph Street Triple R ABS Team Empire Special Edition - $9,495
2014 Triumph Street Triple R ABS Team Empire Special Edition - $9,495
2013 Triumph Daytona 675 ABS - $9,995
2012 Triumph Tiger Explorer - $11,995
2014 Triumph Rocket III Roadster - $10,995
Yamaha
2015 Yamaha YZ250F - $2,595
2014 Yamaha TT-R125 LE - $2,995
2008 Yamaha YZF R6S - $6,495
2006 Yamaha YZF R6 - $6,995
2011 Yamaha YZF R6 - $8,495
2014 Yamaha YZF R6 - $9,495
2009 Yamaha FZ6R - $4,995
2012 Yamaha FZ6R - $5,995
2012 Yamaha FZ8 - $7,495
2002 Yamaha V-Star 1100 - $3,995
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2010 Yamaha Road Star Silverado S - $8,495
SF MOTO
275 8th Street at the corner of Folsom
San Francisco - 415-255-3132
www.sfmoto.com
USED INVENTORY
- All used motorcycles at SF Moto come with a 3 month warranty and 12
month roadside assistance (including towing). We thoroughly inspect
our previously owned inventory:
- If brakes are worn over 60%, new pads are installed.
- If tires are worn beyond 60%, new tires are installed.
- If chain & sprockets have too much play, we install new chain &
sprockets.
BMW
F800R ABS, 2012, Red-silver, 8890 Miles, $7998
S1000 RR, 2013, White, 3417 Miles, $13498
G650 GS, 2011, Red, 495 Miles, $6998
S1000 RR, 2014, White, 1521 Miles, $13998
Ducati
Evo 848, 2012, White, 12102 Miles, $9498
Hypermotard 1100 EVO, 2012, Red, 5780 Miles, $10998
Hypermotard 796, 2010, White, 3988 Miles, $7998
Monster 1100 Evo, 2013, Red, 1622 Miles, $10498
Monster 1100 Evo, 2013, Black, 3137 Miles, $10998
Monster 1200 S, 2014, White, 751 Miles, $13998
Monster 696, 2009, Red, 6331 Miles, $6998
Monster 696 ABS, 2014, Black, 514 Miles, $8998
Multistrada 1200/S ABS, 2013, 21553 Miles, $14598
Panigale 899, 2014, Red, 2200 Miles, $13998
Streetfighter 1099, 2011, White, 6790 Miles, $11498
Honda
CBR250 ABS, 2011, Red, 3369 Miles, $3798
CBR250R, 2012, Red/white/blue, 3009 Miles, $3795
CBR250R, 2012, Black, 3512 Miles, $3498
CBR250R, 2012, Red, 274 Miles, $3998
CBR250R, 2012, White, Red, Blue, 274 Miles, $3998
CBR300R, 2015, White, 2400 Miles, $3998
CBR500R, 2013, Black, 1135 Miles, $5298
CBR500R, 2013, Red, 1 Miles, $5998
CBR 600RR, 2012, Black, 4018 Miles, $9998
CBR 600RR, 2012, Black, 3425 Miles, $8998
CRF 230M, 2009, Black, 3288 Miles, $4998
Rebel 250, 2012, Gray, 118 Miles, $3498
Rebel 250, 2013, Red, 6814 Miles, $3298
Kawasaki
KLX250, 2009, Red, 116 Miles, $4498
KLX250, 2010, Black, 170 Miles, $4798
EX250, 2010, Green, 7504 Miles, $3498
EX250, 2010, Red, 13159 Miles, $3798
EX300, 2014, Black, 54 Miles, $5298
EX300, 2013, Black, 6528 Miles, $4998
EX650, 2013, White, 1040 Miles, $6498
ZR1000 ABS, 2015, Green, 9989 Miles, $9998
ZX636-F, 2013, White, 167 Miles, $9998
Piaggio
Fly 150 Scooter, 2006, Red, 787 Miles, $2498
Suzuki
Boulevard S40, 2012, Orange, 3084 Miles, $4498
GSX-R600, 2013, Blue, 948 Miles, $9498
GSX-R600, 2013, Blue, 3190 Miles, $9998
GSX-R750, 2014, Red, 1425 Miles, $10498
V-Storm DL650, White, 2006 Miles, $6298
SYM
HD200 Cannonball Scooter, 2006, Blue, 7031 Miles, $2798
State:
Zip:
HD200 Cannonball Scooter, 2012, Blue, 13000 Miles, Call for price
Triumph
Bonneville, 2013, Orange, 8239 Miles, $7498
Speed Triple ABS, 2012, Red, 7939 Miles, $8998
Speed Triple ABS, 2014, Blue, 3 Miles, $10998
Street Triple R, 2014, White, 1696 Miles, $9498
Thruxton 900, 2013, Green, 57 Miles, $8498
Tiger ABS, 2010, Black, 1582 Miles, $7998
Yamaha
Bolt 950 C-Spec, 2014, Black, 286 Miles, $7998
Bolt 950 R-Spec, 2014, Gray, 1603 Miles, $6998
Bolt 950, 2014, Black, 3965 Miles, $6998
Bolt 950, 2014, White, 14640 Miles, $6998
FZ1, 2006, Silver, 7740 Miles, $6498
FZ8, 2011, Black, 6469 Miles, $6498
V-Star 250 Blue, 1006 Miles, $4198
YZF-R6, Blue, 899 Miles, $10498
Zuma Scooter 125, 2014, Gray, 84 Miles, $3198
NEW INVENTORY
Honda
CB1000R, 2014, Black, $9998 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
CB1100, $9998 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
CB300F, 2015, Red, $3,999
CB500X, 2015, Black, $6299
CB500X, 2014, White, $5998
CBR1000RR, 2015, Red, $13999
CBR300R, 2015, Red, $4898
CBR500R, 2014, White/red/blue, $5998
CBR500R, 2015, Gray, $6299
CBR500R, 2014, Black, $6299
CBR600RR, 2015, Black, $11490
CBR650F, 2015, Black, $8449
CRF100F, 2013, Red, $2498
CRF125, 2014, $2999 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
CRF250L, 2015, Red, $4999
CTX1300, 2014, Black, $11498 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
CTX1300, 2015, Black, $15999
CTX700, 2014, Burgundy, $6998
CTX700N, 2015, Silver, $6999
Forza Scooter, 2015, Red, $5599
GL1800 Goldwing, 2015, Red, $23999
GL1800 Goldwing Valkyrie, 2015, Red, $17999
GL1800B Goldwing F6B, 2015, Blue, $20499
Grom 125, 2015, Yellow, $3199
Grom 125, 2015, White, $3199
Grom 125, 2015, Black, $3199
Metropolitan Scooter, 2015, $1799 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
NC700X, 2015, $7499
NM4, 2015, Black, $10498
PCX150 Scooter, 2015, Black/white, $3449
Ruckus Scooter, 2015, $2449 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
Shadow Aero VT750, 2015, Red, $7499
Silver Wing ABS, 2015, Black, $9270
ST1300 ABS, 2015, Black, $18230
VFR800, 2015, White, $12498
VT1300 Fury, 2015, Black, $9999
VT1300 Interstate, 2015, Black, $10999
VT1300 Sabre, 2015, Black, $9999
VT1300 Stateline, 2015, Blue, $9999
VT750 Shadow Phantom, 2015, Black, $7499
VT750 Shadow RS, 2015, Black, $7499
VT750 Shadow Spirit, 2015, Black, $7499
VT750C2F, 2012, Orange, $7498
XR650L, 2015, Red, $6690
F6B, 2013, $14498 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
Goldwing 40th Anniversary, 2015, $23998 (w/ Honda Bonus Bucks)
Kawasaki
Concours 14 ABS, 2015, Green, $15499
EN650 Vulcan S ABS, 2015, $7298
KLR KL650E, 2015, Green, $6599
KLX250, 2015, Black, Call for price
KX65, 2013, Green, $2998
Ninja 1000 ABS, 2015, Green, $11999
USED MOTORCYCLES:
Two Beemers and a CT
2006 K1200S - Mint, all optons
2000 1150GS - Mint, Ohlins
1977 CT90 - Good
Michael’s Motorsports
BMW Motorcycle Service, Repair, Restoration
Air heads, Oil Heads, Hex heads, K Bikes, F Bikes
880 Piner Rd. Ste 46
Santa Rosa, CA 95403
(707) 575-4132
Independent service of BMW, Ducati, Triumph.
Factory certified, and certifiable, too!
Fair prices and fast turnaround
We love what we do - we solve problems and make
people’s machines run their best. Bring us your problem.
We’ll solve it for you - nothing that we can’t fix.
BRG Racing
925-680-2560
110 2nd Ave. So. - Unit D
Pacheco
www.brg.com
Monkey Moto School
MOTO TIRE GUY
www.MotoTireGuy.com
Motorcycle Tire Services
San Francisco - Bay Area
(415) 601-2853
Order your tires online, Zero CA sales tax plus
Free UPS Ground, then have a Preferred Installer
in your local area do the installation and save!
Please visit website for details.
Custom Design Studios
56 Hamilton Drive # A
Novato, Ca. 94949
415 382-6662
www.customdesignstudios.com/
V-Twin Service, Repair, Parts, & Fabrication.
Harley Factory Trained Tech.
CYCLE
SA
LVA G
MOTOR WORKS
BMW PARTS
Take a European trip this year!
Visit www.motorworks.co.uk
• Huge range of new and used parts and accessories for all models from
1970 onwards
• UK’s largest independent, 25 years experience
• Competitive prices, fast shipping
• Expert and friendly advice available
• Trade customers welcome
Quality Motorcycles
235 Shoreline Hwy.
Mill Valley CA
(415) 381-5059
We’re not afraid of your old bike.
Ed Meagor’s BSA
Call Old Ed Meagor at 415.457.5423
That’s right! Ed sent his phone number, so if you’ve been wanting to give him
a call about his sweet BSA, now’s the time!
-CityBike Classifieds Editor
PARTS AND SERVICE
Detailing vintage, classic, modern motorcycles
ROCKRIDGE TWO WHEELS
Need new rubber? Rockridge Two Wheels is offering a $50 mount
and balance with the purchase of two tires. Factory techs. 40+ years
experience. Full service facility.
510/594-0789
vespawalnutcreek.com 925 938 0600
rockridgetwowheels.com 510 594 0789
For all your Bay Area Vespa / Piaggio / Aprilia needs
HELP WANTED
ADVANCED CYCLE SERVICE
*Motorcycle Service and Repair*
• Tires • Service •Insurance estimates
Monthly bike storage available
Come check us out
1135 Old Bayshore Hwy
San Jose, CA 95112
(408) 299-0508
[email protected] — www.advcycles.com
DUCATI SUZUKI KAWASAKI YAMAHA
Since 1956
Knucklehead
Panhead
Iron Sportster
Shovelhead
Evolution
Twin Cam
Multi Valve 450cc and up
Cyl. boring on H.D. only
21050 Mission Blvd. Hayward, 94541
(510) 581-5315
The Junction
If you know you can handle a real road then come up and get your reward!
Slow smoked BBQ , hand pressed burgers and a long list of great beer.
The Junction 47300 Mines Rd. Livermore.
At the intersection of Mines & Del Puerto Canyon Roads
11-8 daily (closed Wednesdays)—10-8 weekends.
Go there and go nowhere, into the middle-of.
EVENT SERVICES
Devils Detail Motorcycle Detailing
415 - 439 - 9275
www.thedevilsdetailing.com
[email protected]
established 2007
Greatness can be in your detail!
Come and ride the Sierras! No dirt experience needed! Dual Sport and
dirt bike rentals. Guided or map your own course. Skill building classes
also available.
Easy access from Highway 50 south and west of Tahoe, this side of the
hill in Camino, CA.
Free secure storage of your car or bike onsite, or we can deliver bikes to
many all day riding areas (additional fee applies for delivery).
Well-maintained bikes and a rider-owned company makes us a great
adventure for the day, weekend or longer.
ASK ABOUT OUR SPECIAL $200 3-HOUR INTRO TO DUAL SPORT
RIDING TOUR/INSTRUCTION! ALSO SCHEDULING WOMEN’S DIRT
AND DUAL SPORT TRAINING CLASSES! **WE OFFER LOWERED DUAL
SPORT BIKES!
530-748-3505- www.sierradualsport.com
FINE DINING
Cycle Salvage - Hayward
Cycle Salvage Hayward - your one stop shop for remote controlled
motorcycle models, fuzzy helmet slip-on covers, flaming-hair-evilclown graphics kits, moderately-worn vintage motorcycle manuals of all
stripes, and replacement kickstand legs that are not too hot and not too
cold, but JUST RIGHT
Cycle Salvage Hayward
21065 Foothill Blvd
Hayward, CA 94541
510-886-2328
Monkey Moto School gets people riding in just one day. Our focused,
private classes and small beginner bike are the start of a proven system
that will have new riders out and about on a motorcycle with confidence
in short order. Available in SF (and beyond by arrangement).
Call Evan to get started. 415-359-6479
monkeymotoschool.com
Sierra Dual Sport/Dirt Bike Rides,
Rentals and Training
Mind-Blowing Custom Paint Since 1988
Visit Our Showroom!
Contact [email protected]
BSA 500 Single Empire Star
Cheap $10,000 Firm
RIDING SCHOOLS
BRG RACING - CONCORD
E
Ninja 300, 2015, Green, $4999
Ninja 300, 2014, White, $4798
Ninja 300, 2014, Green, $4998
Ninja 300SE, 2015, Black, $5199
Ninja 650, 2015, Green, $7599
Ninja ZX-10R ABS, 2015, Green, $14299
Ninja ZX-10R ABS 30th Anniversary Edition, 2015, Green, $15599
Ninja ZX-6R 636, 2015, Black, $12699
Ninja ZX-6R 636 30th Anniversary Edition, 2015, Green, $12999
Versys 1000LT, 2015, Black, $12799
Versys 650 ABS, 2015, Green, $7999
Versys 659 ABS, 2014, Black, $6998
Versys 659 ABS, 2014, Black, $6998
Versys 650LT, 2015, Green, $8699
Vulcan 1700 Vaquero, 2015, Green, $16699
Vulcan 1700 Voyager, 2015, Black, $17399
Vulcan 900 Classic, 2015, Black, Call for price
Vulcan 900 Classic LT, 2015, Black, $8999
Vulcan 900 Custom, 2015, Black, $8499
Vulcan S ABS, 2015, Green, $6999
Z1000 ABS, 2015, Green, $11999
ZG1400, 2013, Black, $11999
ZX-14R ABS, 2015, Green, $14999
ZX-14R ABS 30th Anniversary Edition, 2015, Red, $15899
Lance Powersports
Havana Classic 125, 2015, Black, white, sky blue, beige, red - $1899
Havana Classic 150, 2015, White, brown, black, $2198
PCH 125, 2015, Red, white, yellow, black, $1899
PCH 150, 2015, White, green, red, $2198
SYM
-- All SYM bikes come with a 2 year factory warranty -Citycom 300i Scooter, 2015, Red or white, $4698
Citycom 300i Scooter, 2015, Gray, $4898
Fiddle II 125 Scooter, 2015, White, sky blue, black, red, or beige, $2298
HD200 EVO Scooter, 2015, Orange, yellow, gray, white, $3495
HD200 Scooter, 2015, Red, gray $3495
Symba, 2015, Sky blue, $2349
Symba Honda Cub, Red, Black, $2349
T2 250i, 2015, Black, White, $3799
Wolf (aka Honda CB150), 2015, Tricolor, red, black, white, $2999
ZERO Motorcycles
DS ZF 12.5, 2015, White, $13995
FX 5.7, 2015, Black, $10990
S 12.5, 2015, Yellow, $13995
SR, 2015, Red, $15995
ANNOUNCING: “DUFFYDUZZ
Promotions”
If you’re planning a M/C event of any sort, whether an Open House, a
Special Sale Event, a Competition Event or even a Rally, a “pleasant but
not pushy” voice (and your choice of music) can make a huge difference
in the excitement and remembrance of your event.
Have P.A. / Will Travel...
I have been “The Voice” of Ducati Island at Moto G.P. (‘98 - ‘06) the
Wilseyville Hare Scrambles (‘98 - ‘12) ...Most recently; La Ducati Day, La
Honda, MOTORAMA Car Show, Lafayette, sub’ Announcer at Continental
Sports Car Challenge Laguna Seca, Santa Rosa flattrack for Circle Bell
Motorsports... and more... References and resume available. Find me
on FaceBook: “Duffyduzz Promotions” for all contact info - or - call 510292-9391 - or - E/M: [email protected]
Sam and An on the 390s at
Thunderhill.
Multi-line motorcycle dealer in Vallejo is looking for an experienced
motorcycle tech. Must be experienced in all aspects of motorcycle /
all-terrain repairs and be able to work by yourself in a busy shop. Hours:
9am to 6pm Tuesday - Saturday.
We’re also looking for an experienced motorcycle part sales person.
Must be experienced in all aspects of motorcycle and all-terrain parts
and accessories sales and be able to work by yourself.
Apply by email at [email protected]. Please attach last 5 years work
history and manufacturers you are familiar with.
LEGAL
Bavarian Cycle Works
EXPERT Service & Repair
Bavarian Cycle Works specializes in new and vintage BMW, modern
TRIUMPH and select motorcycle models. Our staff includes a Master
Certified Technician and personnel each with over 25 years experience.
Nearly all scheduled motorcycle maintenance can be completed within a
one day turnaround time. All bikes kept securely indoors, day and night.
Come see us!
Coats of skins, Chaps, Pants, Vests, Gloves, Boots, Saddle Bags,
Helmets, Riding Gear, Fashion & More.
All sizes: Kids/Big/Tall.
Patches sewn on most while U wait.
Clean Repair Alter
952 B Street, Hayward
B/W Mission & Main
510-582-5222
LegalShield
Have you ever been pulled over by the police on your bike or car and
felt you were profiled because of your tattoos or the way you look? You
can have emergency access to attorneys, 24 hours a day in 49 states, for
as little as $20 a month. Try our service and get your Will done for free,
for you and your spouse. Find out how at
smith_wg.legalshieldassociate.com or call 510-502-2144
Photo: Max Klein
Tankslapper
Wanted: Real Editor For
CityBike
Another shot from the archives of Ben from SF: Sears Point, June 1976.
Randy, from “near Google Headquarters”
(palm to face) wrote in to correct Editor
Surj, but he went a bit further than most
who send “Surj, you suck” emails, going as
far as calling for his replacement:
We’re sorta vacillating between lost for
words and on the same page, Allan. But
Bullet Collector is now on the CityBike
watch list.
RIP Bob Garrett
An anonymous reader emailed to tell us of
the passing of Bob Garrett.
Never seen females riding stupid? I live &
work near Google headquarters in Mt. View,
and commuting towards Google between
8:00 AM and 9:30 AM is normally done
at a walking pace, unless you are on 2
wheels. (Even bicycles outpace cars) And
I have seen women doing things which are
seemingly nearly suicidal. They are typically
on scooters, or very small bikes, so wheelies
are not an option, but any sort of craziness
beyond that is common.
Some of the older Bay Area motorcyclists may
not have heard about the recent passing of
Bob Garrett. Bob moved to Sonoma many
years ago but people in the city probably
knew him from involvement within the BMW
community. R.I.P.
And yes, you do badly need a real editor,
one which would explain what an “MRO” is
when it is used, and other allusions which are
untterly unclear.
But we must warn you: the first the new,
real-er editor will do is point out that
untterly isn’t a word, and that MRO is an
acronym, not an allusion.
Harsh, Randy. Real harsh, bro. But
perhaps accurate, and since we love reader
(rider) feedback, we’ve posted a JD (job
description) on LI (LinkedIn) in hopes of
poaching a real EIC (Editor In Chief) from
one of the real moto mags. We’re certain
these guys will be banging down the doors
of CityBike HQ for the opportunity to run
and edit this thing on top of a 60+ hour day
job.
Seriously, bro. If you cared about America,
motorcycling, and apple pie, you’d
know what MRO means, and even if you
don’t—which you clearly don’t—we’ve
defined it six million times, and continue
to accompany the first instance of MRO
with parenthesis-“Motorcycle Rights
Organization”-parenthesis each issue we
use it in. Maybe we missed it, and you
caught us. OMG (oh my gawd!), the horror.
We’re sincerely sorry we’re not keeping
the mag up to “near Google headquarters”
standards, but honestly, if you’re angling
for that EIC position yourself, you’re gonna
need to be a little more on the ball with
your next writing sample.
Horrorball
Longtime reader
Allan Slaughter
wrote in response
to Sam’s footballseason-makes-forgood-riding column,
“Sports Ball,” in our
last issue:
Extra points for crazy / creative shit. What do
those points get you? Let us know if you find
out.
Real sticky w
hen properly
warmed up.
Thanks, Sam—
Think I played that
game once, at 8,
and from the razz
on my shoulders,
back and ass
figured I’d played
the ball. This old
messenger’s pick
of viddyviolence is
Vartanov’s Bullet
Collector, near
the end, when
all the nadsatinmates band up
in fives, ransack
the arsenal and
make regulation
stew of most
guards—not
without some keen shots of their own
casualties, oozing in lurid orthochrome B&W.
Or when our hero, hauled in for skipping a
lesson, gets hounded by a ravenous short-focus
virago and counters her coolly with “Znaida
Prokovyevna, why don’t you ever fuck men?”
And after the rout of tormentors, when he’s
stabbed by his ‘dagger-owning’ twin and
double, staggers past an ironic quote from
Sergei Yesenin to drown, flailing, in the river,
no great sweat. Nexcycle they’ll just switch
team colors, know each other and start
another round of the same ol’ merry mayhem.
“Great playing with you! Come again
tomorrow?”
My idea of Saturday horrorshow.
Yell at us (or just say hey) at editor@
citybike.com or talk to us on our Facebook
page at facebook.com/CityBikeMag. You
can also send us an old-timey paper letter,
which we think is pretty damn cool. Those
go to CityBike Magazine, PO Box 18738,
Oakland 94619.
Photo: Bob S
tokstad
Send Us Your Stuff
[email protected]
PO Box 18783
Oakland, CA 94619
Our 390 Duke working on its night moves at Thunderhill.
Photo: Max Klein
CYANMAGENTAYELLOWBLACK
PLUS
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PAYMENTS AS LOW AS $59/Month
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CHICO MOTORSPORTS
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CYCLE WEST
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SCUDERIA
69 DUBOCE STREET
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415-621-7223
R&M ENTERPRISES
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ROCKRIDGE TWO WHEELS
5291 COLLEGE AVENUE
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510-594-0789
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614 16TH STREET
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are based on credit worthiness. Other financing offers are available. See your local dealer for details. Rate advertised is based on bureau risk score of 675 debt to income ratio of 45% or less. Minimum Amount Financed $1,500; Maximum Amount Financed $50,000. Other qualifications and restrictions may apply. An origination fee of $50 will be added to the amount financed in the
above example. Financing promotions void where prohibited. Offer effective on all new and unused KYMCO Scooters purchased from a participating KYMCO USA dealer between 7/1/2015 and 12/31/2015. Offer subject to change without notice. [“E”] means estimate. © KYMCOUSA 2015 KYMCO vehicles meet all applicable Federal Motor Vehicle Safety and EPA standards. Take a
riding skills course. For the course nearest you, call the Motorcycle Safety Foundation at 1-800-446-9227. For your safety, always wear a helmet, eye protection and protective clothing. Never operate under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Avoid excessive speed and stunt driving..

December 2015

Transcription

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