It Ls one day, but photos last a lifetime

Transcription

Page 2 Thursday, June 25, 2015
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
It’s one day, but photos last a lifetime
Make sure your
photographer is
prepared for the
unexpected
By ROBYN FONTES TAYLOR
The Winchester Star
WINCHESTER — After the solemn vows and
joyful toss of the bouquet, about the only
things left of your wedding day will be your
gown, your memories — and the photographs.
Now that digital photography has made
taking and printing photographs much easier
than it was in the days of film, it can be tempting to save a few dollars and have a friend or
relative capture all those one-in-a-lifetime moments.
But before you ask your Uncle Joe to photograph your wedding, consider that saving
money may not be worth the stress and disappointment of bad photographs.
“An airplane can be run on autopilot, but
you’re very glad there’s an experienced pilot
when something goes wrong.” said Julie Napear, owner of Julie Napear Photography in
Winchester.
A professional photographer is at your
wedding for one thing only — to work hard
taking great pictures.
If you depend on family and friends to take
photographs, you may be disappointed that
they seem more intent on having a good time
than documenting your day.
“They want to have a good time, too. But
they could be out there dancing when they
should be taking photos,” said Bill Clements,
owner of Flair Photography in Stephens
City.
Napear and Clements offer these tips on
what questions to ask when selecting a photographer with the right experience and attitude for your wedding.
How much experience do you have?
One of the first questions to ask a potential
photographer is how long they’ve been working weddings and how many events they
have done.
“No bride wants to be the first client,” said
Clements, who has shot more than 400 weddings in the 19 years he has been in business.
“I’ve been at every reception site and at every
church in the area,” Clements said.
Napear has been taking wedding photos
for 10 years and photographs 30 to 40 weddings each year.
With hundreds of weddings under her
See Photos, Page 4
Julie Napear Photography
Experienced
photograhers know
which poses work best
and often have ideas on
unique poses that make
for truly memorable
photographs.
Flair Photography
Flair Photography
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Thursday, June 25, 2015 Page 3
Summer Bridal Guide
Fireworks are tricky to capture in photographs, so make sure your photographer has
taken them before if you have your heart set on such stunning pictures.
Photos
from Page 2
belt, Napear finds that she’s encountered
most situations and can always figure out to
fix a problem when things don’t go as
planned.
An experienced photographer can often
offer advice about the pros and cons of a particular venue and the time of day for the best
photos as well.
“Natural light is always my favorite and
most photographers will agree with me,” said
Napear adding that, “You are going to have
much better pictures at 6 in the evening in
May than at noon when the sun is overhead.”
But she can adjust to any hour or venue,
even to the darkness of barns, a popular place
to hold weddings in recent years.
“I enjoy doing barn weddings, but I tell my
brides, ‘You need to add some stuff to it,’ ”
Napear said.
“Stuf f” can include string lights and Chinese lanterns, anything that will provide
some light and ambiance to the rustic setting.
For spaces that don’t offer a beautiful
background such as some church halls and
fire departments, “up lighting” — colored
lights that shine on the walls and columns —
give the space a splash of mood-setting color,
she said.
Do you have the right equipment?
An experienced photographer will arrive
at your wedding with multiple cameras and
lenses. Most will have lights and some may
even have an assistant.
With almost 20 years of experience,
Clements has had time to purchase the right
equipment.
“I have 11 lenses that cover a lot of different situations,” Clements said.
For instance, at one large local church
photographs may only be taken from the last
pew in the sanctuary. Without the right lens,
Clements said, the bride and groom will look
2 inches tall.
Clements learned that lesson the hard
way and not long after shooting a wedding
there he spent $1,800 for a lens to use in that
particular church. An amateur photographer
isn’t going to be able to outlay that kind of
money for a lens used so infrequently,
Clements said.
What is your availability?
Don’t wait until the month before the wedding and expect to book a photographer.
While it’s possible for a florist or a baker to
work more than one wedding per day, a photographer can only do one.
The busiest months for weddings in this
area are May and June and again in September and October. If you want a Saturday wedding in one of those months, you’ll need to
book the photographer at least eight months
in advance — and even 12 to 18 months beforehand isn’t being overly cautious.
Clements has already scheduled two weddings for 2016.
If you’re getting married in an “off month”
or a day other than Saturday, you may be able
to book a photographer at the last minute. It’s
certainly worth a phone call to ask about
their availability.
Do you have a style?
See Photos, Page 6
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Summer Bridal Guide
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An experienced photographer is going to
be able to show multiple examples of his or
her work, most likely on a website that you
can browse.
“I want people to come to me who are excited about my work,” Napear said. “Take a
look at my work. “My work speaks for itself.”
Even if a couple desires a journalistic style
for the wedding reception, they’ll probably
still want a few formal portraits. A seasoned
photographer can do both.
Most wedding-day photography starts in
the dressing room for candid shots, then to
the altar or outside for posed picture followed
by a more photojournalistic style of shooting
for the dancing and mingling at the reception.
“It’s best to combine all three to make sure
the bride has some of everything,” Clements
said.
When looking at the sample photos, make
sure to look closely at the faces of the people.
Are they in focus? Is the light flattering? Do
their facial features look distorted?
Napear doesn’t like the way her nose
looks in her own wedding photos. If she had
hired an more experienced photographer for
her wedding, she said, they probably would
have known that it’s better to stand back and
zoom in with a longer lens so as not to distort
facial features.
“Uncle Joe may have a great camera, but
he may not know all the tricks,” Napear
said.
How much do you charge?
Wedding photography is not a place to
skimp in the budget. Not only will the photographer work hard for at least four or five
hours, there’s lots of equipment to buy and
insure. They may also bring along an assistant.
“It’s not cheap,” Napear said.
Napear’s packages for a Saturday wedding
start at slightly over $2,000. The five-hour
packages include photos of the bridal party
getting ready for the ceremony as well as
posed portraits and then candid shots at the
reception. She shoots, on average, more than
100 photos an hour.
Most people find that they require six or
seven hours of photography to get the variety
of pictures they want, she said.
She does offers discounts for non-Saturdays and off-season weddings.
Most couples can expect to spend in the
upper $2,000s if they book her, she said.
Clements offers six different packages
that start at $1,200.
Clements offers discounts to people who
work in the medical, law enforcement and educational fields.
“I give discounts because I appreciate
what they do,” said Clements, who works during the day as a computer professional for the
Natural light is a favorite of
photographers. But experienced
photographers know how to capture
great photos indoors too.
Winchester Public School system.
Clements estimates he takes 700 photographs during a typical seven-hour wedding assignment.
And the hard work starts before the wedding even begins.
Clements said he is so intent on making
sure that everything goes smoothly that he
comes to every wedding rehearsal to get a
feel for the space and coordinate his game
plan.
On the day of the wedding, he and his assistant travel in separate cars, so he isn’t left
stranded and misses the wedding.
“You don’t get a second chance with a
bride’s wedding,” he said.
Do you do destination weddings?
Even if you’re not getting married in the
Northern Shenandoah Valley, you don’t have
to settle for selfies.
Napear has traveled to Colorado, Florida,
and New York and even to Ireland and Cancun, Mexico, to shoot weddings.
“I love to travel and if I can get paid to do
it then that’s even better,” she said.
On the Internet . . .
julienapearphotography.com
flairphoto.net
— Contact Robyn Fontes Taylor at
r [email protected]
The Winchester Star
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Summer Bridal Guide
The Winchester Star
The sky’s the
limit at SVDM
The Winchester Star
WINCHESTER — Couples with
imagination and whimsy may find
the Shenandoah Valley Discovery
Museum (SVDM) the perfect spot
for their wedding or reception.
Not only is there a giant triceratops, an American Indian longhouse and a musical floor, there’s also a rooftop with an amazing view
overlooking the city of Winchester.
It doesn’t take much imagination to
envision how spectacular a venue
the Sky Level would be for a ceremony or reception.
The SVDM, at 19 W. Cork St. in
downtown Winchester, is available
for rentals when the museum is
closed.
Events can be held all day Monday, when the museum is closed to
visitors. On Tuesdays through Sundays, events may be held after 5
p.m.
An early Sunday morning brunch
is possible, too, since the museum
doesn’t open until 1 p.m. Sundays.
Couples can rent just one floor or
take over the entire building. Imagine the ceremony on the second
floor, the reception on the roof and
the good-bye recessional on the lower level, said Ryan Hall, coordinator
of marketing and member services
for the museum.
The SVDM can accommodate
300 guests and the Sky Level can
have 130 guests at one time.
Most of the museum’s exhibits
can be rolled away to make a larger
floor area, said Kathy Rosa, special
occasions manager.
The museum is also great centerpiece for a wedding held completely
downtown, Rosa said. The ceremony could be held in a downtown
church and the reception at the
SVDM. After the reception, anyone
who wanted to continue the party
could go to a downtown bar for
drinks and then the entire wedding
par ty could stay in the George
Washington Hotel. No walking the
See SVDM, Page 9
Photo provided by Shenandoah Valley Discovery Museum
Guests attend a wedding atop the Shenandoah Valley Discovery Museum in Winchester.
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
SVDM
from Page 8
entire weekend.
The SVDM space can also be rented for
rehearsal dinners or bridesmaid luncheons.
During private events, a museum staff
member sits at the front desk to make sure
guests get to the proper place and no one
wanders in off the street.
A staff member is assigned to each floor
too. But it would be a mistake to think the
adults can party on the roof while the children play on the exhibits on the lower floors.
“We’re not really set up for babysitting,” Rosa
said. “And we’re not a certified childcare center.”
The museum has chairs and table for
about 50 people. For larger parties, chairs
and tables will need to be rented.
Although couples are welcome to choose
their own vendors, the museum does keep a
list of preferred vendors, places that have
worked there before and are familiar with the
various rules. One firm rule: No bringing in
chairs, tables, food etc. until after the museum closes to visitors for the day.
Although there isn’t a full kitchen, there
are several sinks, two refrigerators, a small
microwave, a hot plate and dishwasher to
use.
Several classrooms can be used for prep
space, dressing rooms, gift rooms etc.
And then there’s that Sky Level ...
“This is the cool space,” said Rosa as she
showed a visitor around the museum.
The rooftop has a covered space that can
be used to display food and drink or it could
be where the band or DJ to set up shop. The
Winchester-Clarke Garden Club has created
several small gardens that provide greenery
and charm.
Prices to rent the entire SVDM
➤ $1,800 to rent the entire museum for
five hours Monday through Thursday. Each
additional hour is $360.
➤ $2,500 for five hours on Friday, Satur-
day or Sunday with $500 for each additional
hour.
Prices to rent one level
(including Sky Level)
➤ $800 for five hours Monday through
Thursday with $160 fee for each additional
hour.
➤On Friday, Saturday and Sunday, the
cost is $1,500 for five hours with $300 each
additional hour.
discoverymuseum.net
Summer Bridal Guide
JEFF TAYLOR/The Winchester Star
Professional seamstress Joy McInturff, owner of Sew Fitting, pins a
dress at The Valley Bride on North Cameron Street in Winchester.
A perfect fit makes for
a perfect wedding gown
The Winchester Star
WINCHESTER — As a professional seamstress specializing in formalwear, Joy McIntturff has altered gowns for pageant contestants, women going to galas and militar y
balls and even a young woman going to the
finale of “The Apprentice” TV show.
But she has a special place in heart for
brides and their attendants and has the
sewing expertise — and the personality — to
be helpful.
“I’m blessed with a calm personality,” said
McInturff, owner of Sew Fitting in Stephens
City. “It’s a stressful time, and brides need
someone who is low-key.”
McInturff has been sewing for more than
45 years and altering bridal and formalwear
almost exclusively for 17 years. She learned
to sew when she was 13 years old and bought
her first machine as a young adult with her
first income-tax return.
“I actually made my own wedding gown
40 years ago,” she said.
McInturff comforts the bride desperate to
lose 10 pounds before her wedding day. She
eases the worries of the bridesmaid trying to
get pregnant and wonders if her dress will
still fit six months from now.
She is there when the mother sees her
daughter model the exact same bridal gown
she wore 30 years before.
“I become friends with the brides and a lot
of them send me photos,” she said, thumbing
See Seamstress, Page 11
The Winchester Star
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Seamstress
from Page 10
¿`
Celebrate in a Place
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¿`
Six acres of spectacular gardens. An elegant atmosphere.
New! Be among the ﬁrst to host your celebration in the
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may apply for weekday and daytime garden ceremonies.
This is the place for your special event for photo shoot.
Photo: Rick Foster
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540-662-1473, ext. 227 l [email protected]
901 Amherst St., Winchester, VA l www.theMSV.org
through a few thank-you notes grateful
brides have sent her over the years.
A smart bride knows her dream dress
won’t look so dreamy if it sags in the bust or
if she’s tripping over the hem.
The fitting process typically starts at the
wedding shop where initial measurements
are taken.
Morgan Beachler, owner of The Valley
Bride on Cameron Street in Winchester, said
she takes measurements in three or four
places on the bride’s body depending on the
style of the dress. She then orders the dress
based on the largest measurement because
it’s easier to take in a gown than let it out.
Bridal gowns typically run a couple size
smaller than other clothing.
Only when the manufacturer has the measurements of the bride does the gown get
made, she said.
“Although the dresses are not custom
made for them, it is cut for them,” Beachler
wrote in an email. “The dresses are not in a
warehouse waiting to be ordered.”
Even if a wedding shop takes accurate
measurements almost every bridal gown still
needs to be fitted once it arrives from the
manufacturer.
“Rarely does a dress come in that fits perfectly,” said McInturff, one of three seamstresses used by The Valley Bride.
When the dress comes in and has been
paid for, an appointment is made with the
seamstress.
“I like to get the [dresses] a few months
ahead,” McInturff said. “That way I can work
it into the schedule and get it back to the
bride two weeks before.”
McInturff pins the dress as soon as possible and then works on the gowns in order of
the dates they are due. If there is more than
one gown due on the same date, gowns
pinned earlier will be sewn first.
It usually takes two sessions to get the
dress fitting perfectly. She advises customers
to bring along the shoes they plan to wear
and, if possible, the undergarments they will
be wearing.
McInturff fills out a detailed instruction
sheet on each dress and then pins it to the
dress to help her keep track of what needs to
be done — a necessity when she’s working
on multiple projects. She has had as many as
70 gowns hanging in her house at one time.
McInturff has remade wedding gowns,
such as one handed down from mother to
daughter, but the end product doesn’t always
work out to everyone’s satisfaction. Usually
the mother is much more excited about it
than the bride, she said. And if the gown
wasn’t preserved correctly the aging material might fall apart on the big day.
“It’s usually better to buy one the way you
want it,” she said. “Normally, girls like their
own.”
As for losing weight, McInturff said, many
brides say they want to lose to weight, but few
do. But she is happy to work on the hem and
bustle and save the sides for last in case the
bride does lose weight.
JEFF TAYLOR/The Winchester Star
Straight pins make a temporary seam for
professional seamstress Joy McInturff.
McInturff pins the dress immediately
after the bride contacts her and then
works on the dresses in order of the
dates they are due. If there is more than
one gown due on the same date, gowns
pinned earlier will be sewn first.
“It’s best to buy one that will fit you now,”
McInturff said, and not buy one for the body
you hope to have by your wedding day.
If a bridesmaid gets pregnant before the
wedding, it is possible to add a panel of fabric
to the side of the dress.
As for cost, fees for alterations on a typical
wedding gown will cost about $200, but a
gown that requires a lot of alterations would
be closer to $400. Payment for alterations is
due when the dress is finished.
McInturff has had to fix more than a few
dresses that were botched by inexperienced
hands. Bridal and formal are often made out
of delicate fabrics or have ornate beading and
are best worked on by a seamstress or tailor
who specializes in formal wear.
“You feel so bad for the bride,” she said.
“They’re so stressed already.”
Sew Fitting is based out of McInturff’s home
in Stephens City. To schedule an appointment,
call 540-868-1022. She is an independent
contractor and accepts work from bridal shops
and from any customers needing to have formalwear altered.
c
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide

Photo courtesy of Jack Wu Photography
Although they live in Florida now, Dana and Sarah Johnston grew up in Winchester and
came back to have their wedding at the Museum of the Shenandoah Valley. “For the
price and location you are not going to find anything better,” Dana Johnston said.
Couple finds MSV
gardens ideal spot
By JESSICA WIANT
Special to The Winchester Star
WINCHESTER — Dana and Sarah Johnston
both grew up in Winchester, and when it
came time to plan their wedding, they knew
they wanted to have one outdoors.
Now Florida residents, they discovered
the gardens at the Museum of the Shenandoah Valley by searching online. The beautiful pictures — and the price — are what sold
them on the venue.
“I would highly recommend Museum of
Shenandoah Valley to those who are interested in outdoor weddings in a garden. For the
price and location you are not going to find
anything better,” Dana Johnston says.
The couple married at the museum on
May 10.
Now more than ever, couples are taking
advantage of the Museum of the Shenandoah
Valley’s options to create personalized ceremonies that span far beyond the traditional
chapel wedding.
The Amherst Street location, home of the
historic Glen Burnie House and Gardens in
addition to the Museum of the Shenandoah
Valley, has been hosting weddings since before the museum was built in 2005.
The gardens — featuring everything from
roses to a garden with an Asian influences —
are usually what attract couples to the venue
when they are in season, from April through
October, according to Catherine Bogaty, the
museum’s special events manager.
The most popular spot is the tree-lined
archway of the Grand Alleé.
“Brides are booking here because they
want the beautiful outdoor wedding,” Bogaty
says.
But in recent seasons, it’s the ability to
branch out that is making the museum’s weddings stand out.
When a couple inquires about having a
ceremony at the museum, Bogaty says, the
first step is visiting the grounds and taking a
tour.
From there, couples can basically find the
spot they fall in love with, and the museum
See MSV, Page 13
· An Elegant, Historic Manor House
· 60 Acres of Beautiful Grounds
· Extended Time to Celebrate with
Family and Friends
· Destination-Style Weddings Without
Ever Leaving Home
WINCHESTER STAR SPECIAL:
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- or a Free Night in the Byrd's Nest Honeymoon Cottage

Great photo opportunities in abundance
at Museum of the Shenandoah Valley

16 Rosemont Manor Lane, Berryville, VA 22611
www.rosemont1811.com
[email protected]
540-955-2834
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
MSV
from Page 12
staff will work with the couple’s budget to make it happen.
“Whatever you dream you can have,” says Julie Armel,
the museum’s deputy director for community relations.
“We’ve had weddings of 300 people or with a justice of the
peace, a witness and the bride and groom.”
A newer option at the museum is to rent the Glen
Burnie House itself, built in 1794, according to Armel.
A bigger, better Rose Garden is also nearing completion, and next to the Glen Burnie House, a new event lawn
has been created that opens up this part of the landscape
for tented events for the first time.
For couples on a budget, options for saving money
abound, but perhaps the most popular trend, according to
Bogaty, is to skip the traditional Saturday ceremony.
The first three weddings of this season, for instance, are
being held on Sundays, she says. Weekday evenings are
another budget-friendly choice. Brunch receptions, versus
dinners, are also a cost-saving choice, according to
Armel.
The museum is also hoping to host same-sex weddings
since gay marriage became legal in Virginia last fall, according to Armel. A same-sex wedding has not yet been
held at the MSV, but the museum has been the site for a
few commitment ceremonies and photo shoots of samesex couples (who were legally married in other states), according to Armel.
Armel attended workshops about promoting LGBT
tourism at the VA-1 Tourism Summit last year, and the mu-
seum plans to begin an online marketing campaign in July.
The market for same-sex weddings is large, she says,
and the museum hopes to become a popular destination.
The museum’s benefactor, Julian Wood Glass Jr., was
gay and entertained at the Glen Burnie House with his
partner up until the time of his death in 1992. It was a condition of Glass’s will that the gardens became open to the
public as early as 1997.
“It’s just a part of our story,” Armel says. “It’s a beautiful
site and a beautiful venue … for any marriage.”
A benefit of any wedding at the MSV, is that guests will
have their reign of the entire six-acre gardens during the
event.
“You’re typically getting this beautiful property … to
yourself,” Bogaty says.
It makes for lots of photo opportunities for beautiful
wedding photos, Bogaty says.
With so many different choices — couples can book
their own caterers and have a formal dinner or a barbecue
or a cocktail hour for anything from a wedding ceremony
to a vow renewal — each ceremony is one-of-a-kind. “It’s
always different and interesting,” Bogaty says. “We’re not
like some venues that crank them out like a factory.”
Rental fees alone for an event can range from $500 to
$5,000, and the museum typically hosts no more than one
wedding a weekend in season, or around 20 per year, according to Bogaty.
Bogaty can be reached at 540-662-1473, ext. 227, and
an online rental inquir y form can be found at
http://themsv.org/visit/host-your-event/inquiry.
Photo courtesy of the Museum of the Shenandoah Valley
A benefit of any wedding at the Museum of the Shenandoah
Valley is that guests will have their reign of the entire six-acre
gardens during the event.
Summer Bridal Guide
Photo courtesy of Michelle Myers
One concern about having children in the wedding? They’re so cute they just may
upstage the bride.
Children at weddings
can be a sticky situation
Tips on including kids in the festivities and also
how to tell guests the day is for ‘adults only’
The Winchester Star
WINCHESTER — When my husband and I
were planning our wedding, we quickly
agreed that children would be welcome
guests at our ceremony and reception.
He had nieces and nephews who lived out
of town. Many of my best friends had children, and I had developed strong bonds with
them. We didn’t want anyone to have to pay
for a babysitter, or worse, not come because
they couldn’t get anyone to watch the kids.
Besides, weddings are a celebration of
love and family. Who better symbolizes the
promise of the future than a pack of giggling
children running around?
About the same time, though, a friend was
also planning her wedding. And children
were most definitely not invited. She was going off the advice of her mother who had
firmly told her, “A wedding is no place for
children.”
I can see her point. A chatty child could
disrupt the ceremony. Another may whine
about the food. Plus, with all the drinking and
dancing some wedding receptions are not
child-friendly. Besides, don’t parents deserve
some time to celebrate the happy couple and
not cater to the needs of the children?
Whether you plan on saying “We do” or
“We don’t” to children, wedding planner
Michelle Myers with Michelle’s Main Event
See Children, Page 15
The Winchester Star
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Children
from Page 14
in Frederick County has a few suggestions.
Children welcome
If you want to keep the kids out
of trouble, Myers advises, “give
them a job.”
“I like it when couples include
children, I can snag little helpers,”
she said.
Young children are capable of
distributing programs or carrying
a basket full of rice packets, flower
petals or bubble bottles for the
good-bye gauntlet.
“These are the kind of kid jobs
that adults don’t want to do,” said
Myers, a former schoolteacher and
the mother of three young children.
Of course, children who are in
the wedding party as ring bearers
and flower girls have an extra special job to do — and may start acting silly if they feel too much pressure.
“Children tend to follow their
parents’ lead,” Myers said. If the
parent is stressed out about how
their child will behave, the child
may also become stressed.
Photo courtesy of Michelle Myers
A bride receives an emotional hug from a young wedding guest.
An adult helper not related to
the child may be the best person to
help guide children down the aisle.
“They behave better for someone
else,” she said.
Children are a wonderful addition to the wedding, Myers said,
and can lighten the nerves of everyone in the wedding party. “They
usually say or do something that
gets people laughing,” she said.
But weddings can be hard on
the kids.
“It is usually a long day and they
are missing their naps and meals,”
Myers said.
If you invite children to the wedding, be sure to plan activities to entertain them and offer foods they
will enjoy.
At the reception, children can sit
at the table with their parents, but
it’s also nice to have a separate kids’
table. Let them color by covering
the tabletop with butcher paper (it
comes in white) and place crayons
or markers in small colorful baskets or buckets.
A simple craft — such as a foam
activity sold at craft stores — can also keep children entertained. Or
give each child a disposable camera and ask them to help take your
wedding photos. Consider having a
“kids only” time on the dance
floor.
And don’t forget the food. No
sense in paying for an adult meal
the child won’t eat. Ask the caterer
to a create a child’s meal. Better to
pay for inexpensive chicken
nuggets than high-priced salmon.
Children will love a slice of the
wedding cake, but they may also
like to decorate their own cupcakes
— and it will keep them busy.
Children not invited
In theory, addressing the invitation to only the adults in the household should communicate that children are not invited. But sometimes people don’t read the invitation closely or throw the envelope
out.
It’s best to put a line on the
RSVP card saying “Adults-only ceremony and reception,” M ye rs
said.
Still, even with that, some
guests do not read carefully and
will send the response card back
listing their children’s names.
This is when the wedding planner can call the guest to let them
know children are not invited. A
call from the bride or her mother
can seem too personal — a rejection of their child.
“If you’re the wedding coordinator you can simply express that the
day is all about the bride and
groom,” Myers said. “And that this
is how it is.”
http://michellesmainevent.com
Summer Bridal Guide
The Winchester Star
Honeymoons
on hold
Couples choosing to delay honeymoons
until the season and price is right
By ALICIA RANCILIO
Associated Press
NEW YORK — “Where are you going on your
honeymoon?”
It’s one of the most common questions
asked of a couple engaged to marry.
Another appropriate question these days:
“WHEN are you taking your honeymoon?”
For a variety of reasons, many couples
now put off their post-wedding trip. Weddings are expensive, so shelling out more for
a vacation right away may be too much. Some
couples want more time to map out a trip that
lives up to the honeymoon hype. Or there
might be work demands, school or other obligations that get in the way.
Heather Hurley of Arlington, Virginia, and
her husband, Jason, bought their first home
shortly before their June 2014 wedding. They
didn’t have the time or energy to think about
a honeymoon then.
“Since we weren’t in any rush and we
didn’t have any honeymoon deadline, we
said, ‘Let’s wait a year and combine our delayed honeymoon and sort of a first-anniversary trip into something really special,’” she
said. They’re now ready, and are heading to
Iceland for a week in June.
“A lot of people are used to the tradition:
You’re engaged, you get married, and then
you go on your honeymoon and that’s it,”
Hurley said. “We felt like we were in a whirlwind starting with the home-buying process
and then a couple months later getting mar-
ried. That was a lot of planning and timing
and energy, and we wanted to recover from
that and really rest up and appreciate the honeymoon trip, instead of feeling like it’s the
slog at the end of a marathon.”
Compared to previous generations, many
of today’s couples are marrying older, and
they’re often paying for the wedding, rather
than having their parents do it.
“Things like living together already, having a home, having two incomes but not that
much savings for the wedding of your
dreams — I think those factors go into why
people would postpone their honeymoon,”
says Sara Margulis, founder of Honeyfund.com, a wedding-gift registry company
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This May 29, 2010, photo provided by Heather Hurley, shows Hurley and her husband
Jason Hurley at Boston Common in Boston, Mass. “Since we weren’t in any rush and
we didn’t have any honeymoon deadline, we said, ‘Let’s wait a year and combine our
delayed honeymoon and sort of a first-anniversary trip into something really special,’”
said Heather. They’re now ready, and are heading to Iceland for a week in June.
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Inside the cult of the secret wedding pinners
By JULIA CARPENTER
© 2015 The Washington Post
Ah, weddings on Pinterest: 38 million
boards brimming with white, pink and gold
for all to admire.
Except when it’s not. Except when the
planning is too personal — or too secret. Or
when you don’t really have a wedding to plan
at all.
Jessica Zahn, a 25-year-old marketing specialist in Atlanta, has two wedding boards:
one private, one public. And more importantly, no significant other with which to plan a
wedding ... yet.
“I know some people feel that pinning/planning for your wedding before you
are even in a relationship is silly, or even offensive,” she said. But by all accounts, a lot of
pinners are doing it.
According to Pinterest — the social network that’s part scrapbook, part vision board
— making a wedding board “secret,” or private, is becoming more and more popular.
Since Januar y 2015, secret wedding
boards have grown from 15 percent of all
boards to 30 percent of all boards created
across Pinterest.
This kind of power is unprecedented in
the Pinterest world. According to a recent
study from Millard Brown Digital, 96 percent
of pinners are using Pinterest to plan for wedding purchases — and 87 percent made a
wedding purchase because of something
seen on Pinterest.
That doesn’t necessarily mean more pinners are getting engaged. As Mashable wrote
when secret boards debuted: “Pinterest is
the per fect place to plan your wedding,
whether you’re wearing a ring or not.”
Wedding boards aren’t breaking any
norms of Pinterest. They’re dreamified road
maps for future nuptials. And, of course, for
the products, services and mason jar chandeliers you’ll buy — or (ideally) (pinterest-
ingly) handcraft for yourself.
And yet there’s a subculture of undercover wedding pinners who never show their
boards to anyone, tucked away from the larger world of DIY crafts and fresh tomato salads
pinned for everyone.
“I haven’t shown my significant other my
Pinterest board,” one Internet friend said of
her secret board. “I don’t want him to get the
wrong idea and think I’m ready to get married or that I’m always thinking about our future wedding.”
So what are these secret wedding-pinners
thinking about — if not the big day?
See Pinterest, Page 18
Hold
from Page 16
www.winchesterstar.com
that helps couples raise money from friends
and relatives for their honeymoon.
“Two jobs, having to coordinate the time
off, where people are in their careers when
they get married — a lot of times it’s harder
to take the time off that you would want to
take,” she said.
Tiffany and Bryan Marchand of Montgomery, Alabama, were married in March
2014. Bryan had recently started a new job
and didn’t have vacation time. They waited
until last February to go to Disneyworld and
Universal Studios in Florida.
“Taking a delayed honeymoon was a
blessing in disguise,” said Tiffany, since it
gave her more time to plan both the wedding
and the trip.
Kelly Hills says that after she married
Nick Evans in April 2014, staying home together was more exciting than taking a trip
together. The couple met on Twitter and had
a trans-continental courtship: Nick lived in
Australia and Kelly was in the U.S.
“Just being in the same time zone was so
novel,” recalled Hills.
They’re heading to Barbados in May for
their delayed honeymoon.
Visit our new website or call Michelle for a free consultation today!
Pinterest
from Page 17
“It’s a kind of dreaming, a kind of fantasy,”
says Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor
at the University of Washington. “It’s like
reading bride magazines, but it’s also like
people reading Architectural Digest ... I
should say 99 percent of them cannot afford
— even 99.5 of them can not afford what
they’re looking at. But they think about it.”
And then come actual wedding day, everything has effectively been mythologized. The
pins tell their own story: a farmhouse wedding, with chalkboard nameplates and a mason jar chandelier.
Your Pinterest board is your “per fect”
wedding.
At least, it is on Pinterest.
More than 38 million Pinterest boards are
dedicated to weddings.
That’s a lot of pins to peruse. Pinterest is
dif ferent from bridal magazines in that
there’s no page limit — you don’t hit a final
page in a photo spread or back cover of the
book that snaps you out of wedding Fantasyland and back to reality. Sara Fields, an
Asheville, North Carolina-based wedding
planner, encourages her brides to pin — to a
point. “I’ll have a bride who stayed up all
night with a bottle of wine and pinned and
changed her mind,” she said.
“It’s not just that it’s limitless,” Schwar tz
explains. “But that you’re actually doing
something. When you do something, you invest more in its reality. You put together the
pictures. You make it real, in a funny sort of
Summer Bridal Guide
❞
I haven’t shown my significant other my Pinterest board. I don’t want
him to get the wrong idea and think I’m ready to get married or that
I’m always thinking about our future wedding.
— woman secretly planning a wedding although she’s not yet engaged
way. It’s more real in the fact that you’ve assembled your dreams. It’s personal. Now you
have a better sense of what you’d really like to
do, and that makes you more invested than
you would be if you were just flipping
through a bridal magazine.”
And that’s exactly why Fields tells her
brides to stop pinning at a certain point in the
wedding planning process. Partly to solidify a
vision for the big day — but partly to quell the
pinning mania.
“You kind of can’t stop yourself,” she says.
“’Oh,’ you’re second guessing. ‘Oh, I thought
I wanted this.’ It’s a lot of additional stress.”
Pinterest user Amanda Taylor felt that
stress even without a wedding to plan. She
calls it “doing her due diligence.”
“There’s a sense of panic, too: ‘I have to
remember that, but what if I don’t,” she
says.
Fields says she requests access to her
clients’ secret pin boards — even though, as
she admits, a secret pin board is “almost like
a diary.”
“I can see, ‘This is what this wedding
looks like inside this bride’s head,’” she says.
“Before we had Pinterest, that was such a
hard thing to cultivate. ‘What are you seeing
in your head?’ You can describe it with words,
but on Pinterest you’re seeing it all.”
All of it.
Amanda Taylor deleted her Pinterest account, actually. Secret girly wedding board
and all.
Taylor lives in Utah, and she’s a member
of the Church of Latter-Day Saints — most of
her friends started living out their Pinterest
wedding fantasies a few years back, but she’s
single and not looking to get married any
time soon. She says there’s an overwhelming
sense that had her hovering over “private”
before clicking the lock and hiding her wedding dreams forever: “It’s like ‘You’re one of
the last. You can’t be public about it.’“
Her wedding board was so different from
her ironic, funny, quirky side she shared on
The Winchester Star
other platforms like Twitter and Tumblr —
the board was softer. There were more flowers.
And, of course, conspicuously, no guy.
“I don’t date that much. I don’t want people to know I’m even thinking about it. Like,
‘Oh you’re so sad you’re single, let me set you
up with my cousin,’” she says.
She was ashamed of her secret wedding
board, and also ashamed of the pull she felt to
Pinterest and it’s idealized version of her future — she knew deleting the board and
starting over was a good move.
“There was this pressure — ‘I need to do
all these DIYs! I need to make these tiny pots
to put minitature succulents!’” she says. “I
had to ask myself: ‘What’s the end game
here? Will I be remembered as Queen of the
Succulents?’“
On the day of her eventual wedding, she
says won’t miss her secret board and the pins
pinned, plans and dreams now lost to the
manicured sands of Pinterest time.
“Maybe if I was Kate Middleton — ” she
starts, and then stops herself. “But I’m not.”
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Should a destination gown be formal or casual?
By KIM COOK
Associated Press
Dave Abreu Photography
Christine Pagulayan and Neil McIntyre of Toronto married in Sardinal, Costa Rica.
Pagulayan considered a short dress given the beachy location. “But I realized that
even if it may be heavy or sweaty, I wanted a ‘real’ wedding dress ... one with a serious
train,” she said.
Getting married on a beach, mountaintop,
remote villa or rustic rural setting is a romantic ideal for many brides.
But what does that mean for the wedding
dress?
Should you go formal or footloose? Will
your gown fit in your suitcase?
A bride having a “destination wedding”
should think about versatility when choosing
a gown. She must be “concerned about being
comfortable, more so than your typical bride.
She has to contend with weather and terrain,
making her gown choice critical to how atease she feels on her special day,” says Lori
Conley, senior buyer for David’s Bridal.
Christine Pagulayan of Toronto and her fiancé, Ian McIntyre, jetted to Costa Rica in
2013 for a resort wedding.
“I had a (dress) style in mind: strapless,
low back, white with ruching. Initially, I
thought about going short, since we were going to get married on a beach, but I then realized that even if it may be heavy or sweaty,
I wanted a real wedding dress. So we found
one that had a gorgeous train, but it also had
a bustle so I could dance,” Pagulayan says.
Some dress trends for destination
brides:
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Many traveling brides favor lightweight,
airy fabrics.
“Chiffon and organza are always favorites.
Full trains can be cumbersome if you’re navigating sand or grass,” says Conley, of
David’s.
“A lot of brides opt for the ease of a sweep
train,” which just grazes the floor.
David’s destination-friendly dresses include styles in full or tea-length tulle, soft lace
or chiffon, Conley says. (www.davidsbridal.com)
Fabrics that travel well for brides wanting
a more structured gown include silk gazar,
georgette and crepe, which are “lighterweight versions of silk faille and Mikado,”
says Carrie Goldberg, associate fashion editor for Martha Stewart Weddings.
Short styles, meanwhile, can be fun, and
have the added benefit of showing off a pretty
pair of shoes.
J. Crew’s Karina short dress, for instance,
Photo provided by Ladybead.com
Southern California-based designer Rose
Elliott crafts foot jewelry using Swarovski
pearl, Swarovski rhinestone and
Swarovski crystals. The pieces are an
unexpected alternative to shoes or
sandals for a destination bride who’d like
to go barefoot on sand or grass.
has a flapper-esque fringe, and is covered in
corded lace. (www.jcrew.com)
Separates
“Tops and bottoms are not only easier to
pack, they allow for mixing and matching fabric and fit to get a silhouette that feels unique
to your personal style,” says Goldberg.
Separates work for any destination, she
says: “A full organza skirt may appeal to a
bride getting married on the beach; pairing it
with a delicate silk camisole suits the location. The same skirt would suit a mountaintop affair when paired with a fur bolero or a
fine knit.”
J.Crew’s Sloane poly-cotton long skirt has
a simple, draped profile; a silk cami top embellished with beads, crystals, sequins and
paillettes in a floral motif creates a dressy
look, albeit more relaxed than a form-fitting
gown.
At David’s Bridal, there’s the crisp Mikado cropped top balanced by a flowing, organza ball-gown skirt, creating a modern silhouette.
Color
Let the venue inform your choice of hue,
See Destination, Page 20
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Destination
from Page 19
Goldberg says.
“A sunset wedding in Napa pairs beautifully with a blush gown, while the colors of an
Amalfi Coast wedding may inspire the bride
to opt for something blue.”
Versatility
For bridesmaids — or perhaps even the
bride — White House Black Market has a
clever option: a short or long pull-on gown
with a customizable top. You can adjust the
straps on the “Genius” dress to make a halter,
one-shoulder or cap-sleeved version. Easy to
pack, affordable and available in a range of
colors, these might be a good option for a
group of bridesmaids. (www.whitehouseblackmarket.com )
Footwear
Flats or wedges are ideal for beach or garden: “The more surface area the sole of your
shoes have, the easier it will be to walk,” says
Conley.
Keep in mind that satin or grosgrain
might get stained by grass or sand.
Another option for beach brides is “foot
jewelr y,” an accessory that does away with
the need for an actual shoe. Fashioned of
pearls, silks, rhinestones and shells, these
can easily be made to complement the gown.
(www.ladybead.com)
Style
If your wedding destination is, say, a villa
This photo provided by David’s Bridal
shows a soft chiffon gown with beaded
lace on an empire waist that gives a bride
an easy, comfortable material to wear for
a warm-weather destination wedding. The
dress comes in white or ivory.
or castle in Europe, you might want to go fullon princess with the dress.
Kleinfeld Bridal has some Cinderella-like
confections from designers like Hayley
Paige, Maggie Sottero, Badgley Mischka and
others. (www.kleinfeldbridal.com)
For wintry venues, think of a cream coat
trimmed with sparkle; sheer or opaque long
sleeves; an embroidered bolero jacket; satin
or silk gloves.
BHLDN has a selection of beaded and
lacy capelets, while Reem Acra offers bridal
furs in various hues. On your feet, satin
pumps are classic but ivor y suede boots
might add dash.
Transporting the dress
Pagulayan was able to stow her gown on
the plane in a special compartment for wedding dresses. Some carriers might let you
store your dress in business class even if
you’re flying coach; check with the airline
ahead of time.
Experts recommend packing the dress in
a sturdy garment bag rather than a box, so it
can be stored more places. Label the bag
both inside and out, and add a “Fragile” sticker. Arrive early at the airport, as the dress bag
might require extra screening.
You can also ship the dress ahead of
time.
Photo provided by Dave Abreu, 2013
Destination brides are often advised to
forego high heels for footwear that’s more
sand or grass friendly. “I wore beautiful
satin white wedges that I swapped out for
flip flops at the reception,” Christine
Pagulayan says.
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Best advice for grooms? Listen to the bride
By LEANNE ITALIE
Associated Press
NEW YORK — Kate MacHugh has a fabulous
fiance, except when it comes to wedding
planning.
“When I was a little girl I always envisioned it as ‘my wedding,’ where I would
make all the decisions and my faceless
groom would show up when I told him to in
the suit that I picked out and he paid for,” said
the Beachwood, New Jersey, social worker
and bride to be.
“Flash forward to now — my fiance has an
opinion on EVERYTHING,” MacHugh said,
endorsing that approach with this caveat:
“He’s a huge procrastinator and doesn’t understand that planning a wedding takes a
boatload of work, time and coordination. He
believes every small detail will fall into place
without any effort on our part.”
So goes the dilemma of many modern-day
grooms. No longer on the sidelines, they’re
ready, willing and able to participate, but
what’s a groom to do when he hasn’t been
planning every detail of his dream wedding
since boyhood, has never shopped for or
worn a tuxedo and doesn’t know his carats
from his karats?
“My advice for all you grooms out there?
Listen to your bride. She knows what she’s
talking about. If she tells you that at the eightmonth mark you should have picked a venue,
she’s right. If she’s droning on about getting
your frat brothers’ addresses for save-thedates, you really need to get them to her. And
never, I repeat, never call her a bridezilla,” advises the 26-year-old MacHugh, who’s getting hitched Oct. 10.
Some grooms are happy to leave the details to their partners, said Kristen Ley, a
“wedding broker” who works with couples
and vendors in the Atlanta area. But if you
want an active groom in the lead-up, get him
in the planning loop from the get-go, she
urges.
“If he doesn’t feel included, he won’t be,
and when it comes time for him to chip in, the
interest won’t be there,” Ley said.
Let him put that tool chest or George
Foreman grill on the wedding registry, or
don suspenders or wacky colored socks on
the big day if he so chooses, Ley suggests.
Above all, grooms can’t have their wedding wishes fulfilled if they don’t speak up,
said Danielle Rothweiler, a wedding and
event planner in West Orange, New Jersey.
“The No. 1 thing I always tell grooms is
that they MUST be vocal when planning a
See Grooms, Page 22
MEL EVANS/The Associated Press
Kate MacHugh and fiance CJ (Christopher John) Ecke sit together on a seawall in Pine
Beach, N.J. “When I was a little girl I always envisioned it as ‘my wedding,’ where I
would make all the decisions and my faceless groom would show up when I told him to
in the suit that I picked out and he paid for,” said the Beachwood, New Jersey, social
worker and bride to be. The couple is getting married Oct. 10.
Grooms
wedding,” she said.
It’s been awhile since Eric San Juan was a
groom. He’s been married for 15 years, but
he wrote a new book aimed squarely at
grooms: “Stuff Every Groom Should Know,”
part of a series of handy manuals from Quirk
Books.
Try these pro tips from San Juan:
Popping the question
San Juan acknowledges there’s no one
way, but he’s not a huge fan of stunt proposals. The kind that actually involve the public,
that is, like asking via Jumbotron at a ballpark. Your proposal may just go viral for the
wrong reasons.
“You risk putting the person you’re asking
in a really awkward situation. Maybe he or
she isn’t in the same place. Maybe the answer
won’t be yes,” San Juan said in an interview.
If you want the proposal photographed or
filmed, find a photographer or videographer
willing to shoot in secret to preserve the moment.
Also, consider going old school and asking your partner’s parents for permission to
pop the question.
And never steal another couple’s thunder.
Proposing at the wedding of a friend, relative
or colleague is not a good idea, he said.
Picking a tux
Do you even need one? Traditionally,
they’re worn after 6 p.m. Morning or afternoon weddings call for a morning suit, usually dark gray.
Renting a tuxedo is cheaper and ensures
groomsmen will match, but a custom tux is a
nicer fit and worth the investment if a groom
thinks he’ll wear it again, San Juan said.
With arms down at the sides, fingertips
should reach the bottom of the jacket, he
said. Pants should hit the tops of the shoes.
Silk is the desired tux fabric for summer,
Six Star Events
while cashmere, wool and flannel are popular
for winter.
Rock the bowtie. It’s the classic option.
And don’t fear the cummerbund. Modern
‘bunds are sleeker and more flattering than
they used to be.
“Most men are not par ticularly wellversed in getting a tux,” San Juan said. “Don’t
go into the process with the I’m-not-going-toask-for-directions mindset.”
Catering
Staffing Rentals
The Man cry
There may be tears and they may be
yours, guys.
“The ideal man cry is a cry that is in control. It’s not blubbering,” San Juan said.
A groom should avoid talking if his voice
is going to crack. He should pause to compose himself. Man tears are awesome;
“squeaky man voice, not so much,” San Juan
said.
Dab, don’t rub. Surely the best man remembered the handkerchief to gently pat at
tears. Rubbing reddens eyes.
And avoid loud honking when nose-blowing.
“If you really can’t stop sobbing, visualize
something totally un-sad to get yourself back
in the game,” San Juan advises.
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Drunk college friends
A groom’s side is often full of the guys he
used to raise hell with. A generous tip for the
bartender will help ensure they get cut off before the point of no return, San Juan said.
Stay on top of the toasts pre-reception to
avoid the colorful or awkward ones. And
grooms should rely on their best men to police the unruly.
“You can’t completely avoid some degree
of madness when it comes to your friends,
but hopefully the best man can handle it,” San
Juan said.
Pleasant View Events
Mt. Jackson, Virginia
A Rustic Barn Venue
Specializing in Weddings and other Special Events
For more information on events please call
540-975-1470 or 540-477-4100
Or visit our website at www.PleasantViewEvents.com
246100
from Page 21
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Summer Bridal Guide
The Winchester Star
She’s always a bridesmaid (for hire)
By LISA BONOS
© 2015 The Washington Post
NEW YORK — It’s three weeks before her
wedding day, and Bryn Haffey has some important decisions to make: Should she go
with fake eyelashes or extensions? What
should she do about the hideous burlap birds
her mother has purchased as decorations for
the hipster-chic wedding in Queens?
What documents does she need to secure
a marriage license, what’s going in the wedding welcome bags, and when will the family
rehearse walking down the aisle?
Jen Glantz, a 27-year-old who markets herself as a “professional bridesmaid,” is marching Haffey briskly through her to-do list at a
Starbucks in the West Village on a rainy Saturday afternoon.
For now, Haffey seems most concerned
about makeup and Mom, and Glantz quickly
mollifies her.
“You have perfect eyelashes as is,” Glantz
tells Haffey, 32. (A reporter present concurs.)
“Don’t experiment with anything between
now and April 4th.”
“Thank you for boosting my ego,” Haf fey
responds with a smile.
And those burlap birds? “Tell her to bring
them,” Glantz says, “and then, day-of, say no.”
She also suggests that Haffey and her mother pick a time once or twice a week to discuss
wedding-related details, rather than flood
Haf fey’s inbox on a daily basis.
Glantz even offers to help shoulder the
load: “I love moms — send her to me,” she
says matter-of-factly.
Glantz is far more than a bridesmaid, but
she’s not exactly a wedding planner, either:
She does the logistical duties of the latter
while providing the emotional support of the
former.
She’s an unlicensed therapist who’s also
your very organized bestie for a few months.
The brides who hire don’t lack for friends,
she says; they just don’t have anyone nearby
with the time or energy to do the stuff a sister,
mother or confidante might.
The work rarely involves accompanying a
bride down the aisle or planning a bachelorette party (though she can do those things
for an additional fee, of course).
It’s about finding the most acute sources
of anxiety — weddings can be monumentally
complex endeavors, with dozens of vendors,
hundreds of guests and tens of thousands of
dollars in expenses — and neutralizing
them.
It’s an insurance policy against the emergence of Bridezilla. Glantz says plenty of
grooms hire her just so their brides can talk
to someone (anyone!) else about wedding
minutiae. Phone sessions plus showing up on
the big day can run about $1,000 to $2,000.
“A wedding planner focuses on the
things,” Glantz tells me. “I focus on the people.”
“The professional bridesmaid” tells me
she got her nickname after being asked to be
a bridesmaid twice in two days in 2014, when
she was still technically an amateur.
A few days later, Glantz put up a Craigslist
ad offering her services for free. The ad went
viral, attracting interest not just from brides
but also from women who wanted to work for
her. For now, it’s just Glantz, though she gets
business advice from her older brother, Jay,
in Miami and an 82-year-old she found
through an organization that offers free business tutoring. Her tutor worries that being
immersed in the details of other people’s
weddings will make Glantz lonely.
But loneliness isn’t a problem. As Glantz
and Haffey finish up the to-do list, they laugh
over the story of how Haffey found her fiance, Markus Meuller. (They met at a 2009
wedding; connected on Facebook, where
Haffey is a self-described “over-sharer“; and
bonded on a first date, during which Meuller
had to stop himself from referencing things
he already knew about her from social media.) They look like any pair of friends catching up over a Saturday afternoon coffee.
Bridesmaiding has become serious business, even for women who don’t market
themselves as professionals. There’s a bachelorette party to plan; a shower to attend; a
dress, shoes and gifts to buy; plus all the travel. It gets expensive quickly. According to a
2011 estimate by the personal-finance site
Mint.com, the average cost of being a bridesmaid was $1,695.
“My reluctance to commit to being a
bridesmaid stems from one simple reason: I
can’t afford it any more,” Carey Purcell wrote
in an essay last year titled “Being a bridesSee Bridesmaid, Page 25
Photo for The Washington Post by Yana Paskova
The bride’s mother, Debbie Haffey, and bride Bryn Haffey watch as professional
bridesmaid Jen Glantz chats with 21/2-year-old Maren Haffey, Bryn’s niece, before Bryn’s
wedding to Markus Meuller.
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Bridesmaid
from Page 24
maid is driving me into bankruptcy.”
Managing a gaggle of lady friends is a lot
of work for brides, too. “Having bridesmaids
— and worrying about their feelings — can
be more trouble than it’s worth,” says Eimear
Lynch, who interviewed about 100 bridesmaids for her 2014 book, “The Bridesmaids:
True Tales of Love, Envy, Loyalty ... and Terrible Dresses.” At Lynch’s own wedding this
weekend, her only attendant will be her sister, as maid of honor.
Haffey and Meuller also kept the inner circle tight for their wedding: Haffey’s sister
was her matron of honor; a friend of
Meuller’s was his best man.
Haf fey’s friends weren’t disappointed not
to be bridesmaids, she says: “I’m in my 30s —
I feel like no one wants to be a bridesmaid.”
Most of her friends, she says, are married
and have moved out of the city, so there
wasn’t a large circle of people to spend an afternoon shopping for gift-bag candy or trying
on lipstick.
With her parents in Detroit and her sister,
who had her second child seven weeks before the wedding, in Chicago, Haffey didn’t
have a huge support system nearby.
Her mother, she says, was “very adamant”
that she hire a day-of coordinator, but “they
were extremely expensive” — about twice
what she paid Glantz.
Photo for The Washington Post by Yana Paskova
Professional bridesmaid Jen Glantz spreads out a walking path for the wedding of Bryn
Haffey and Markus Meuller in Queens, New York.
And they didn’t seem as personable, either. “The day-of coordinators were just like,
‘I’m just there the day of,’” Haffey recalls. But
Glantz was something else entirely. “The way
she pitched herself was: ‘You can reach out to
“I do.”
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me whenever you have anxiety.’ “
Glantz — who balances her early-morning, nighttime and weekend consults with a
full-time job at a Manhattan start-up — steps
into this emotionally fraught nuptial universe
with some brilliant marketing: Pay her to
help manage the stressful logistics and do the
stuff your friends or relatives don’t have time
for or interest in. A former sorority sister who
worked for Alpha Epsilon Phi after college,
Glantz says she’s used to parachuting into
close groups, quickly diffusing tension and
bonding with just about anyone.
Haffey and Glantz hit it off over the things
that fast friendships are made of: work, food,
TV and music. They both work at male-dominated tech companies. They’re vegetarians.
They share a love for “The Bachelor” and
Taylor Swift. (So much so that Haffey wrote
Swift a five-page letter inviting her to the wedding.) “I feel like we’re friends,” Haffey tells
me a few weeks before the wedding, “not
someone I hired.”
Glantz’s amity is not just part of the transaction. “When it’s over,” she says, “you kind
of feel a little bit of a gap. I’ve been working
with Bryn for eight months, and I’m like: I’m
going to miss you.”
Seven weeks after the wedding, they’re
still in touch. The two of them even have
plans to get dinner next week in honor of Haffey’s recent birthday.
’Jen, are you rocking a fanny pack?”Haf fey
asks. It’s April 4, the big day is here, and Haffey is getting her hair and makeup done —
along with her sister, mother and soon-to-be
mother-in-law — in a hotel room with a view
of the Queens skyline.
“Does that embarrass you?” Glantz banters back.
“I love it,” Haffey says.
In that trusty fanny pack, Glantz has
stuffed everything she or the bride might
need to sur vive the 13-hour day: peanut
M&Ms for a quick shot of sugar and protein;
a baby toothbrush; hair spray; mints; Shout
Wipe & Go, for stains; perfume; nail glue;
Band-Aids; a Square credit card reader (in
case Haffey needs to pay someone); and, of
course, a small pack of tissues.
Glantz stands in the middle of the room,
double-fisting her cellphone and Haffey’s,
ducking out when one of them rings (“Hi, this
is Jen. I’m working with Bryn today ...”).
The lipstick choices have been narrowed
to four, and Haffey’s sister, Shannon, picks
the shade of red that Glantz suggested.
“Make sure you give me the color, and I’ll
hold it,” Glantz says. Off it goes into her fanny
pack.
Around noon, the women head to the
Metropolitan Building, where the ceremony
and reception will take place. In a small back
room, bride, mother and matron of honor settle in. “Go to the bathroom, drink some water,
please,” Glantz says, the first of many reminders to stay hydrated.
When Haffey’s mother helps her into her
dress, a slim-fitting, beaded gown with feathers gracing the bottom, Glantz is there to
clean up, snipping the temporary straps out
of the way.
“You look like a supermodel,” G la nt z
gushes.
“Now I know why I hired you,” Haf fey
says.
There’s still the ceremony area to set up,
place cards to untangle, a rehearsal to run
through and a few vendors to direct. Taylor
Swift doesn’t show, leaving a blank space at
Table 9.
“Pretty much Jen has been doing my job,”
Shannon Haffey, Bryn’s sister and matron of
honor, tells me during a break in the set-up.
Summer Bridal Guide
The Winchester Star
Creating your own
playlist is doable
but demanding
By STEVE KNOPPER
Associated Press Writer
As she prepared to get married in 2009,
Meg Keene considered iPods “a small gift
from the wedding gods.” Rather than hiring a
band or professional DJ for thousands of dollars, she and her fiancé made their own
playlist of Sir Mix-A-Lot, Frank Sinatra and
Dolly Parton songs and cranked them on
rented speakers.
Today, with phone apps that let brides and
grooms instantly play just about any song ever made, Keene counsels caution.
“It’s easier to screw up, honestly,” says
Keene, 35, an Oakland, California, blogger
and author of “A Practical Wedding” (Da
Capo, 2011). “People think a great way to DJ
a wedding is to set up a Spotify playlist or
have a Pandora station — that tends to not
work very well. Putting a playlist on at random tends to just go down in flames.”
Although professional DJs and wedding
planners scoff at the idea of do-it-yourself
dance-floor playlists, technology makes it almost irresistibly simple.
Many venues have built-in sound systems
with ports for phones and laptops or even
Bluetooth for wireless audio connections.
For more electronically challenged
churches and gazebos, couples can buy or
rent speakers that can be connected to a
small, affordable mixer and a laptop. Google
Cast and Apple’s AirPlay let you control the
playlist remotely.
The trick is coming up with a playlist.
There’s an art to it, as the staff at Google-
owned Songza has discovered. A year ago, in
the middle of wedding season, the staff of six
full-time New York curators and a fleet of
freelancers realized they had no wedding
playlist. They corrected that with a dozen
specialized lists, from the Mar vin Gayepacked “It’s Your Wedding Day!” to “Rustic
Outdoor Wedding,” filled with Avett Brothers
and Mumford and Sons. Of course, users can
go off the reser vation and add their own
songs.
“As long as you maintain a consistent
mood, you can really mix whatever you want
from whatever decade you want,” says Parry
Ernsberger, a curation expert at Google Play
Music, which oversees the Songza playlists.
“Reading the room is important.”
Those who DJ their own weddings run into several challenges. They have to provide
different playlists for different settings, from
here-comes-the-bride tearjerkers for the ceremony to cocktail music for early drinks to
dance music for the reception. They have to
find the right balance between familiar, “YMCA“-type anthems and meaningful obscurities that risk clearing the dance floor. And
they must do all this while greeting guests
and making sure drunk uncles avoid faceplanting into the cake.
“It can really be pulled off,” Keene says.
“But it’s not something that you can sort of
look away and be like, ‘That will work itself
out.’ It takes some work.”
Keene recommends crafting a fully
formed iTunes playlist, with a beginning,
middle and end, including a series of “big,
raging dance-party numbers” followed by a
See Music, Page 27
Photo provided by Maddie Eisenhart
Guests dance at a self-DJ’d wedding at Camp Lotus in Lotus, Calif. The groom of the
newlyweds crowdsourced a playlist from four of their friends with varying tastes to
ensure that the music wasn’t redundant.
The Winchester Star
Summer Bridal Guide
Music
from Page 26
Photo provided by Christina Richards
Guests dance at a backyard wedding with do-it-yourself music in Bellingham, Wash.
cool-down song. Pay attention, she says, to
the early part of the reception, when older
guests want to hear Benny Goodman’s “Sing,
Sing, Sing” or Ray Charles’ “What’d I Say.”
Later, friends and family might want to hear
Kesha and hip-hop. (She also recommends
using iTunes’ cross-fade function to avoid
awkward silences between tracks; backing
up the playlist on several guests’ phones; and
depending on a mobile streaming service only as a last resort, since Internet connections
can be unreliable.)
Not ever yone is sold on DIY wedding
playlists. Asked for an interview, one prominent New York wedding planner sniffed,
“That does not make sense at all. None of our
clients have ever been interested in something like this.”
“Really, my experience? We’ve always
hired the professionals,” adds Trudy Baade,
president of the American Association of Certified Wedding Planners. “There’s so much to
plan.”
But Evan Minsker, 27, spent months making a playlist for his May 2014 wedding —
then wrote about the process for indie-rock
website Pitchfork, where he is a staff writer.
Minsker built a reception soundtrack full of
sure things (Outkast’s “Hey Ya!”), novelties
(Eddie Murphy’s “Party All the Time”) and
lesser-known, Pitchfork-friendly favorites
(Todd Terje’s “Inspector Norse”), hitting all
decades.
He posted playlists and wrote: “Pay attention to transitions. Try to make it so your
playlist has a flow and logic to it.”
Minsker’s reception playlist began with
Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give It Up, Part 1” and
ended with Michael Jackson’s “Man In the
Mir ror.” He tried to entertain ever y age
group. The dance floor, at his wife’s parents’
house in the woods, was full for most of the
wedding. The rare snag was when one of his
friends temporarily commandeered his laptop, purchased Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna
Give You Up” on iTunes for $1.29 and aired it
as a practical joke.
Otherwise, Minsker, who lives in Ann Arbor, Michigan, highly recommends the process.
“It was honestly the most fun and meditative part about putting together my wedding,” he says. “By the time the wedding
rolled around, it was ‘hit play on the
playlist.’”
Bridesmaid
from Page 25
“She’s doing a really good job being pulled in
a lot of directions and not getting flustered.”
Soon, Shannon — who hadn’t met or
talked to Jen before the wedding day — is
taking selfies with her and Bryn.
As the band warms up, Shannon’s 2 1/2year-old daughter, Maren, dances and twirls
to “Shake It Off.”
When Maren throws a tantrum, refusing
to wear a flower crown atop her head, Glantz
convinces her that she’s friends with
Princess Elsa from “Frozen” and gets the toddler to wear it for the photos.
Glantz pre-empted adult tantrums, too.
When she spotted the box with those infamous burlap birds, she quietly shoved it under a table.
Summer Bridal Guide
The Winchester Star