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VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 14 | APRIL 7-13, 2016 | FREE
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APRIL 7-13, 2016
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alibi
VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 14 | APRIL 7-13, 2016
Drones Kill Innocents
Dear Alibi,
How would we feel if Russia or China
launched drones into Albuquerque to kill
“their enemies” here? Are Obama’s murders
by drones of moms, dads and children in
Pakistan, Afghanistan, Yemen, Somalia
and Libya less evil than the Boston
Marathon and ISIS murders? Talk about
street gang drive-by shootings killing
innocent people? US drone attacks fuel
hatred and revenge against the US and
make us less safe!
Four Air Force veterans who officially
operated US drones assassinating people in
other countries have spoken out.
They wrote to President Obama, “We
came to the realization that the
innocent civilians we were killing
only fueled the feelings of hatred that
ignited terrorism and groups like
ISIS, while also serving as a
fundamental recruitment tool similar
to Guantanamo Bay. This
administration and its predecessors have
built a drone program that is one of the
most devastating driving forces for
terrorism and destabilization around the
world.” When the US murders by drones,
when the US wages war in Iraq and
Afghanistan, when the US supports Israel’s
atrocities against the Palestinians, many
people there reject women’s rights, gay
rights, freedom of speech … partly because
they see those movements coming from the
US—the enemy nation killing their
people.
I strongly support women’s rights, gay
rights and freedom of speech worldwide! I
damn all wars as crimes against humanity. I
refuse to be a silent accomplice to US
atrocities! I have paid no federal income
tax for war for 37 years!
-Don Schrader a
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
April Fools!
Share Your
Your Experience!
#thepueblostory | #indianpueblo
Last week’s issue was successful in a lot of ways. Not in the
money-making kind of way—we lost a fair amount of cash
putting that sucker out—but successful in the way that
elicits strange and wonderful feedback from the
community. Very many readers will be heartened to
know we’re still publishing Odds & Ends and Ask A
Mexican. An equal number of readers will be
disheartened to know that we’re still publishing Ask A
Mexican. Thanks to all our reader’s who liked the “new
design” for its “modern look,” but that was a one time
deal. Welcome back to the past. The most fascinating
response was in regard to a local business reporter who was
tipped off that we may have been bought by Albuquerque
The Magazine. No, we’re still owned by the same guys as always.
A special thanks to Dr. Byron Wall of Cosmetic Dentistry of New Mexico for being
super, Larryl Lynch and the rest of the staff at Albuquerque The Magazine. They were not only
good sports, they also brought us gifts of real, live goldfish, Goldfish crackers, cupcakes decorated
with Swedish Fish and more Fillet-O-Fish sandwiches than we could eat, affording me probably
the only opportunity I will ever have to use a Douglas Adams quote literally.
So long, and thanks for all the fish,
Peter Karlsen a
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APRIL 7-13, 2016
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Doesn’t Feel Like a Bank”, and “Best Bank to Steal a Pen From”!
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AND
ODDS
ENDS
WEIRD NEWS
Dateline: Sweden
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Dateline: Vermont
A man is accused of “revenge farting” after a
would-be lover refused his sexual advances.
Police in Laholm, Halland County, located in
southwest Sweden, say a local woman reported
the man, claiming his stinky response “disturbed
her peace of mind.” The woman claims the man
came over to her house wanting sex, but she
spurned his advances—at which point he
allegedly released the “revenge fart” and left. “It
smelled very bad in my flat,” the woman told
police. The woman said she was not in a
relationship with the man, but did admit the
two had discussed having sex previously. A
police spokesperson told the Hallandsposten
newspaper the department was obliged to look
into all crimes reports and will not be pursuing
the matter any further.
Vermont State Police arrested a motorist after it
was learned he was hiding more than 1,400 bags
of heroin in his rectum. Investigators say 41year-old Fernando Estrella, of New York, was
pulled over at about 1am on Tuesday, March 29,
in St. Albans City for speeding through a stop
sign. A drug-sniffing dog alerted to the seat in
Estrella’s gray Chevy minivan, but police were
only able to locate a needle and a cooking cap.
Estrella was detained and taken to a nearby
hospital where a body cavity search uncovered
three condoms containing 1,428 bags of
heroine. Estrella faces charges of felony heroin
possession, heroin trafficking and heroin
importation. He is also charged with violating
his conditions of release, after a November 2015
arrest for cocaine possession.
Dateline: Georgia
Dateline: New Hampshire
In a story whose outcome will come as a shock
to no one—other than the person to which it
happened—a Georgia gun enthusiast had his leg
blown off after shooting at a lawn mower packed
with explosives. Authorities in Walton Country
say 32-year-old David Pressley stuffed three
pounds of Tannerite—a binary explosive
composed of ammonium nitrate and aluminum
powder—into a lawn mower and began
pumping bullets into it with a semiautomatic
rifle while standing 75 feet away. Two other
friends were with him, one of them filming the
incident with a camera. The Walton County
Sheriff’s Office posted about the incident on its
Facebook page, saying, Pressley was “dangerously
close to the object containing the Tannerite
when the final gun shot round caused it to
explode sending a piece of shrapnel through his
leg severing it below the knee. Yes, completely
taking his leg.” Tannerite is a patented product
legal in 48 states. The product is billed as “nonincendiary,” but when its two ingredients are
mixed and struck with bullets from a highpowered rifle, they explode. According to the
manufacturer’s website, the purpose of Tannerite
is to let long-distance shooters know when they
have hit their target. Needless to say, a lot of
people have been misusing the product—and
posting videos of it on YouTube, of course. “Yes,
it is legal,” noted the Walton County Sheriff’s
Department. “And no, we can’t make people
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stop doing it. But why, folks, just why?” Pressley
was airlifted to Grady Memorial Hospital in
Atlanta. According to WXIA’s 11Alive News,
doctors were unable to save the leg. The
Sheriff’s Department suggested people, “adhere
to the warnings and use this dangerous material
with caution or maybe consider other less
dangerous hobbies. It’s just not worth it for a
loud boom!”
Police in the small, Northern New Hampshire
town of Epping are puzzling over the dozens of
packages of mystery meat which appeared
alongside several roadways overnight. Police
Capt. Jason Newman told the Union Leader
about 30 to 40 packages of frozen meat were
thrown from a moving vehicle about 200 feet
apart from one another on Red Oak Hill, Rocky
Lane, Old Nottingham Road and Route 87.
“This is an unusual circumstance, but we’re
certainly going to investigate it so we can
prevent it from happening in the future,”
Newman assured residents in the town of around
6,000. The packages found on Sunday, March
17, included a variety of meats including
chicken, sausage and venison—all professionally
packaged and frozen. “There was a pack of
Angus beef, real expensive stuff,” Sgt. Richard
Cote told WMUR. “A 20-pound pack of chops,
you know, some real expensive, high-end
meats.” Police could not tell if the meat was
expired, as most of the product labels had been
removed. Police are currently operating under
the assumption that it came from a local store.
“We’re still investigating what the motive would
be in doing this,” Capt. Newman said. The
person or persons responsible could face
misdemeanor charges of illegal dumping. a
Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird news
to [email protected].
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[9]
NEWS | COUNCIL WATCH
NEWS CITY
BY TAYLOR GRABOWSKY
Health Sciences Center Under Fire
The University of New Mexico Health Sciences
Center faces a congressional investigation by the
House Select Investigative Panel on Infant Lives
for their alleged use of fetal tissues in their
research. More, specifically, members of the
committee were interested in knowing if fetal
tissue was bought or sold. The investigation,
which is now in its second round, includes
depositions from two UNM faculty members and
some documents related to their research. The
Health Sciences Center (HSC) will not release
the names of the faculty members, stating, “Such
disclosure would expose our employees and
students to serious risk of harm.” UNM HSC
denied any involvement in buying or selling fetal
tissue. Officials there claim the fetal tissue was
donated by women who gave their consent.
Lieutenant Governor John Sanchez posted his
opinions on the matter to his Facebook page on
Saturday, April 2. He condemned the HSC and
the University of New Mexico for any
involvement in the harvesting or testing of infant
body parts. Sanchez claims Southwestern
Women’s Options,an abortion clinic, partnered
with HSC in the research. According to the Santa
Fe New Mexican, the HSC terminated any
involvement with the clinic back in December.
Agave Out of New Mexico
Agave Health Inc.,a behavioral health company
that serves more than 10 cities and counties in
northern New Mexico, announced on Friday,
April 1, that they will be closing their doors at the
end of June. The company was created in 2013
by Southwest Behavioral Health Services, Inc.,
an Arizona-based company. Agave was one of
five out-of-state companies New Mexico officials
contracted to replace 15 mental health
companies accused of Medicaid fraud in 2013.
They are the third of five such contracted
companies that have shut down or left since
being brought into the New Mexico healthcare
system. Agave cited lower rates being paid
through Medicaid—as well as other hardships—
as reasons for the closing.
The Attorney General’s Office recently
cleared all of those 15 companies of any
impropriety. Consequently, 10 of the 15 cleared
companies are now suing the state Human
Services Department for due process and
contract violations, reports the Santa Fe New
Mexican. The New Mexico HSD denies the
allegations and is filing countersuits in return.
Interestingly, HSD and Agave are already
planning to help patients make a smooth
transition to new state-approved providers.
Kyler Nerison, spokesman for HSD said, “Our top
priority in any transition is maintaining
uninterrupted care for those who need it and
protecting access to behavioral health services
for consumers.”
The reason for Agave’s closure has much to
do with Medicaid services and payments. Many
New Mexicans rely on Medicaid and this year
Medicaid went through a huge funding shortfall.
According to published reports, Medicaid funding
fell about $86 million short; but the number is
actually closer to $417 million when missing
federal matching funds are added to the
equation. This shortfall is one of the reasons
healthcare providers are being paid less to treat
patients who have Medicaid. New Mexico’s
growing enrollment in Medicaid and rising drug
costs are some of the reasons why the funding
for Medicaid has been unable to keep up with
patient needs. a
[10]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Council Considers Flags,
Films and 911 Response Times
ART and DoJ also discussed
BY CAROLYN CARLSON
liding into the Monday, April 4, regular
meeting, Albuquerque City Councilors hit
a few bumps early on. Shortly into the
public comments part of the session, Council
President Dan Lewis called a recess and
cleared the Council chambers over an upside
down flag. Activist Silvio Dell’Angela silently
refused to put down the flag. Lewis repeatedly
asked Dell’Angela to mind the rules of the
meeting which do not allow large signs or
banners. Dell’Angela says the upside down flag
is a symbol of distress over the city of
Albuquerque. After about an hour, Councilors
returned but Dell’Angela was not allowed back
in the chambers for the remainder of the
meeting. Dell’Angela is a regular attendee at
the meetings who often speaks out against the
police department and city administration. He
has been bringing his flag to meetings for a
while and was also escorted out of the last
Council meeting over his sign of distress.
and its actions as arbitrary, capricious and
contrary to law. Maria Bautista, the lead
plaintiff in the state court lawsuit, spoke at the
meeting giving them a heads up that they were
being sued. “You did not listen to your
constituents,” she said.
Sued You!
Rolling!
A couple of lawsuits were filed Monday to stop
the $119 million Albuquerque Rapid Transit
Project. One of the lawsuits filed in State
District Court names all nine Albuquerque
City Councilors along with Mayor Richard
Berry, Chief Administrative Officer Rob Perry,
Transit Director Bruce Rizzieri, Chief
Operations Officer Michael Riordan, the US
Department of Transportation and the Federal
Transit Administration. John McCall is the
attorney representing the group of 7 residents
and 10 businesses including the Western
Steakhouse on the west Central end of the
project.
The second lawsuit to halt the project was
filed in US District Court by attorneys John
Boyd and Yolanda Gallegos. They are
representing a different set of plaintiffs who
call themselves the Coalition of Concerned
Citizens to Make ART Smart. These plaintiffs
include the Nob Hill Flying Star owners, Jean
and Marc Bernstein, among other businesses
along the route.
Along with the injunction requests, the
lawsuits say the Berry administration and the
FTA violated the National Historic
Preservation Act and the federal
Administrative Act. The lawsuits say the 10mile long project that stretches along Central
from Coors to Louisiana is a public nuisance
and will negatively impact more than 48
National Historic Registry historic landmarks
along the route. It is alleged that the project
will also destroy more than 217 historic and
environmentally significant trees. They also
accuse the government actors of malfeasance
Ann Lerner from the city’s film office gave an
update on the economic impact of the city’s
film industry. In 2015 the movie business
dropped more than $150 million in direct
spending in the area for goods and services to
make movies. Lerner said tax incentives are
the biggest lure for filmmakers along with the
climate, the lack of natural disasters, and the
way the city can double for a lot of locations.
Lerner said the city also has a great overall film
environment. She said there are currently five
TV shows in production here.
S
Councilors Klarissa Peña, Dan Lewis and Isaac Benton
Hello? 911?
Mayor Berry submitted his fiscal year 20162017 budget last week. Tucked into the budget
was some startling news regarding the city’s
police response times. The budget document
claims it takes an average of 11 minutes and
24 seconds for an officer to arrive on the most
serious Priority one calls. This is 41 seconds
longer than last year and almost two and a half
minutes longer than in 2010. The time it takes
for a 911 dispatcher to answer an incoming
call is longer as well. City officials and
administration say this is due to understaffing
in the police department. Berry’s budget
proposes a $250,000 bump to add more
dispatchers to answer calls as well as giving
police officers a 1.5 percent raise. Police union
representatives say this is a slap in the face and
an officer pay raise of about 4.5 percent will
keep officers from leaving the department.
The police department budget, as usual, takes
up the biggest budget bite—about 31 percent
of the city’s total budget.
PHOTO BY ERIC WILLIAMS • ERICWPHOTO.COM
No Bucks for Brass?
Councilor Diane Gibson introduced a bill
proposing the city no longer give Albuquerque
Police Department command staff raises until
the department is in compliance with the US
Department of Justice’s use of force settlement
with APD. James Ginger, the independent
monitor hired to oversee the federal
agreement, has said in his reports that the
city’s progress is being slowed down by top
officials dragging their feet to make the court
mandated policy changes. The bill will go to
committee and then will be back at the
Council table.
Land List
Councilors approved two separate bills to
outline how the city will go about buying land
for open space and a list of proposed properties
to add to the city’s open space jewel box. The
City Council will now be able to weigh in on
the purchases. Some of the properties on the
list include: Cerro Colorado Volcano,
Northern Sand Dunes, East Tijeras Arroyo and
several parcels in the Volcano Cliffs area.
Next Time
Changes to Angel’s Law, the city’s dangerous
dog ordinance, will be heard at the next
meeting. Councilor Trudy Jones said there was
still some work to do on the changes which
would make it easier for the city to seize dogs
that have proven themselves dangerous. a
Send your comments about the City Council to
[email protected].
The next meeting
Monday, April 18, 5pm
Council Chambers in the basement of City Hall
View it on GOV TV 16 or at cabq.gov/govtv
NEWS | OPiNiON
Governor's Vetoes Show
Who She Doesn't Stand For
BY MICHAEL SANCHEZ
etoes handed out by Governor Susana
Martinez at the end of the 2016 session of
the New Mexico Legislature were fewer
than in years past, but they singled out the
most vulnerable in our state for harsher
treatment than ever before. In previous years
there might have been dozens of bills that fell
under the Governor’s veto ax. This year,
however, Native Americans
in the poorest
communities, small
farmers in rural
communities, the
developmentally
disabled, non-English
speakers and students
from low and middle-income families were
targeted. Let’s look at her vetoes.
In Spanish we say, “Dime con quién andas, y
te diré quién eres.” Or “Tell me who you walk
with, and I’ll tell you who you are.” The
reverse of the phrase is instructive as well,
“Tell me who you do not walk with, and I can
tell you who you are.” What kind of legislation
drew her ire, and with whom will Governor
Martinez not walk?
First and foremost are the residents of
Indian Country, especially those on the
Navajo Reservation and Zuni Pueblo.
Governor line-item vetoes in the capital
outlay bill eliminated millions of dollars for
projects slated for McKinley and Cibola
Counties. Vetoed Native American projects,
approved unanimously by the legislature,
included much needed items such as a backup
generator for Zuni Pueblo’s main well and
studies to repair several old and damaged
bridges. There was $75,000 to build a senior
center for the remote Red Red Navajo
Chapter; $30,000 to build a water well in the
Baahaali Chapter, and $50,000 for
improvements to utility lines in the Red Lake
Chapter. The list goes on.
Governor Martinez vetoed more than 20
Native American projects. The individual
sums involved were not great, and none of the
projects were luxuries. They were part of her
package of capital outlay vetoes totaling $8.2
million, or 5% of all the infrastructure projects
contained in HB 219. The Governor
explained her actions in a critical, nine-page
letter deriding the projects for these
impoverished communities as “local pork,” a
“squandering [of] funds” and “irresponsible.”
Small and family farmers in rural northern
New Mexico were the next group to feel the
veto pen. Martinez eliminated 90% of the
critical funding approved by the Legislature for
repairs and improvements to 25 acequias,
almost $1 million in total. These projects too
were relatively small in cost, but they deliver
significant benefits for large numbers of
families in proud, but struggling communities.
V
Imagine, the first acequias in New Mexico
were constructed in the mid-sixteenth century
by the newly arrived Spaniards together with
Native residents. Many of them are still in use
today. They are still economically important
for many agricultural villages, because they are
key to irrigation and water storage for
agriculture. It seems at times like the things we
take the most pride in—our acequias, for
example, and our traditions and history—are
under constant attack by this
governor.
Students who are the
children of families of
modest means, yet who
dream and strive to reach
the middle class
themselves, were another
target of the veto. Bipartisan legislation to
shore up declining revenues of the Lottery
Scholarship fund was too much for the
governor. That fund enables thousands of
students to attend college. SB 79 would have
required unclaimed lottery prizes to be
transferred to the scholarship fund, adding up
to $3 million more each year for student
scholarships. The decline of state lottery sales
has reduced funds available for student tuition
scholarships, and this measure would have
alleviated the shortfall. Now our students and
their families will have to pay more in tuition
costs in the next school year. Some may not be
able to attend college at all as a result.
The developmentally disabled and their
families were another target of Governor
Martinez when she vetoed modest legislation
that would have required the state to publish a
brief report at the end of each year. It simply
would have identified how many New
Mexicans are on a waiting list for crucial
services, some for 10 years or more. SB 36 was
passed in both the Senate and the House
without a single dissenting vote, and incurred
no cost to the state. The Legislature needed
the bill in order to get a full view of the scope
of a serious problem and to find budget
opportunities to get solutions.
For the second time in as many years, the
governor vetoed an uncontroversial measure
to improve court interpreter services in New
Mexico. That veto put into focus her past
efforts as a district attorney to keep Spanishspeakers from serving on juries. SB 210 would
have set up a new fund to be administered by
the courts for paying court translators and
related expenses, but had no fiscal impact on
the state. It drew the governor’s veto despite
passing without any opposition whatsoever.
Unique among all states, the Constitution of
New Mexico protects people who speak and
read either English or Spanish.
Now we know. No anda con nosotros. a
Michael Sanchez is the current State Senate
Majority Leader. He has been a State Senator
since 1993.
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[11]
OPINION | ¡ASK A MEXICAN!
BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO
ear Mexican: I’m a
Latina with Mexican
parents—well,
“parent,” since my
father has been nonexistent since I was
13, but, you know,
you still respect him
cause he’s your sperm
donor? Anyhoo, the
point of this letter is
not only am I a
lesbian, but my
partner is white. We
have been together
for about a year—in
gay years, it’s like 12.
But she doesn’t get why
I’m so close to my family. We
have small arguments (which she
likes to call discussions) about how Mexicans
take advantage of the system. After many
“discussions,” we agreed that it’s not just
Mexicans that take advantage; it’s any race.
They all have them: whites have white trash,
blacks have thugs and Mexicans have cholos
or whatever they go by these days. She sees
that my family does take advantage of me,
but push come to shove, my family is my
family and they will be there for me now as
much as they have been there for me in the
past and so will I.
I’m a little out of “discussions” on how to
explain the closeness Mexicans just have
with their families. The other issue is she
wants to learn Spanish and is having a hard
time. She doesn’t like to be around my family
‘cause instinct makes us kick into speaking
Spanglish or Tex-Mex and she says it’s like
she just doesn’t exist ‘cause she only
understands a third of the conversation. She
gets irritated ‘cause she says that we all
speak English except for my mom, so when
my mom is not around why can’t we just
stick to English? I really have no answer to
that question; besides, it’s just instinct to
speak Spanish to anyone that speaks Spanish
regardless if they speak English or not. I do
feel bad ‘cause I know Spanish is hard to
learn, but it’s kind of impossible to not speak
it when my mom doesn’t understand English.
So what’s the solution? I really love my
white girl and hate to end up going our
D
You may be eligible for a clinical research
study of an investigational topical
medication
i Drs. Eduaardo Tschen & Aliciia Bucko i Academic Derrmatoloogy
g Assocciatees i
[12]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
separate ways for silly things like these. Any
suggestions?
—Latin
Lesbian in Loss
Dear Pocha: Gabachos
will never understand
why Mexicans are so
close to their family,
just like they’ll
never understand
our love for
midgets. But the
bigger issue here is
linguistics. If your
lover is trying to
learn Spanish, why
does she get mad
when you and your
siblings speak en Español?
Does she get agüitada when
you use the language of love for
your almohada talk? Seems to be
underlying issues here, so I say dump la pendeja
and move on to a Mexican mujer that will
respect your culture. Don’t forget that gabachas
are like that fifth torta de chorizo—seems like a
good time at first, but it’ll leave you chingado in
the end.
Dear Mexican: I work in a kitchen with
many Mexicans, and they often refer to me
as “Charlie.” What’s up with Mexicans
calling everyone “Charlie”?
—Charlie Surfs
Dear Gabacho: You heard that story about the
gabacho who’s suing a Mario Batali restaurant
because he claimed that the Mexican cooks
called him “gringo,” “estúpido,” “pendejo” and
even a “Chinga tu madre”? The chavala didn’t
get what you don’t seem to understand: that
Mexican cooks love to bust each other’s balls,
and will pile on the insults if you react
negatively. It’s working-class culture, and if
you can’t take the heat, get out of the cocina,
cabrón. But since the Mexican is evermagnanimous, here’s a tip: You can return the
calor by calling your coworkers a below-thebelt insult, like “Rick Bayless.” a
Ask the Mexican at [email protected].
Be his fan on Facebook. Follow him on Twitter
@gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram
@gustavo_arellano!
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[13]
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[14]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Santa Fe
Albuquerque
Rio Rancho
Española
Las Cruces
EVENT | PREVIEWS
FRIDAY APRIL 8
SATURDAY APRIL 9
The King is Back
Historic Old Town
303 Romero NW
alibi.com/e/177324
5 to 8pm
Elvis will be in the building—or in Old Town, at least—for an evening. In honor of Elvis' not-solegendary visit to Albuquerque around April 12, 1956, come sing and dance for free with Mr.
Presley IRL. The Bar Stars (comprised of Donny Tesso, Joe Galle, Andy Polling and Ramiro
“Rum” Rodriguez) will be performing live to accompany talented and not-talented folks who
want to sing karaoke virtually to any Elvis song or whatever song strikes you as appropriate.
The Albuquerque Classic Chevy Club will be present for gawking, too! Food will be provided by
Hacienda del Rio or any of the other lovely restaurants off the plaza. Festivities start at 5pm
and run till 8pm, but I expect you'll still have sightings of Elvis looooong afterward. Probably
in Argentina. (Megan Reneau) a
SATURDAY APRIL 9
Playing the Guitar for Jazz
KiMo Theatre
423 Central NW
alibi.com/e/182985
7 to 9pm
ROBERT MAESTAS
Kevin Eubanks is a jazz guitarist and composer who began his career performing as a sideman
with Art Blakey. His style is laid back, smooth and eloquent like one gets from a big hollow
body loaded with flat-wound strings. Eubanks was the band leader for NBC’s “The Tonight
Show with Jay Leno” for nigh on 15 years. His accomplishments outside that elite cadre of
musicians include teaching at Rutgers and the Berklee College of Music as well as jamming
with folks like the aforementioned leader of the Jazz Messengers, the storied Oliver Lake
Quartet and Jean Luc Ponty. His compositions are innovative and complex, yet highly
listenable. Eubanks is touring with a quartet that includes Bill Pierce on sax, bassist Rene
Camacho and Marvin “Smitty” Smit on sticks. On Saturday, April 9, at 7pm, the legendary
string man and his group will perform in a concert to benefit the New Mexico Jazz Workshop.
Tickets range in price from $20-100. (August March) a
Stuff Your Face
Zen and the Art of Pokétraining
Albuquerque Convention Center
401 Second Street NW
alibi.com/e/184373
8am
I did catch them all. And let me tell you, friends: The deep hole that sits in your chest will never be full, no
matter how many Jigglypuffs or Charmanders you shove in. I can tell you aren’t listening, but hopefully these
words will come back to you as you test your skills at the Pokémon Trading Card Game State Championships,
held at the ABQ Convention Center this Saturday. As you face players of all ages and skill levels, remember
that the greatest pokétrainers play for the love of the game, not for the opportunity to go to the World
Championships. (Joshua Lee) a
WEDNESDAY APRIL 13
Anderson-Abruzzo Albuquerque International Balloon Museum
9201 Balloon Museum Drive NE
alibi.com/e/182712
11am to 4pm
Did you know that food trucks aren’t just for 2am, after a night out when you’re a little drunk?
They actually have their own culture, and if you want to experience a little of it, head over to
the Great New Mexico Food Truck and Craft Beer Festival happening at the Albuquerque
International Balloon Museum on Saturday, April 9. This festival has a little of everything:
over 20 local food trucks (everything from Hawaiian BBQ to European cuisine), over 50 local
and national beers, live music and face painting. So if you’re a foodie or just enjoy cheap food,
this festival is for you. Tickets are $5 online, $10 at the door and children under 12 are free.
There are ATMs on-site, but bring cash to make life easier. (Taylor Grabowsky) a
All Students (ahem, properly filled-in scantrons)
Matter
African American Performing Arts Center
310 San Pedro NE
alibi.com/e/183933
6 to 8pm
Ah, standardized testing. Five days of the school year when students don’t learn and teachers don’t
teach. Free pencils and goldfish crackers can only effectively bribe teenagers for so long. But who’s to
say that taking anxiety-inducing timed tests isn’t a fantastic way to hold students and educators to fair
standards? If you have something to say about standardized testing (or want to hear what others have
to say about it) grab a seat at the Town Hall meeting on Wednesday, April 13, at the African American
Performing Arts Center. There will be a panel, Q&A and breakout groups, along with special guest
Janelle Astorga, co-leader of Albuquerque High School PARCC walkouts. (Monica Schmitt) a
APRIL 7-13, 2016 WEEKLY ALIBI
[15]
Community
Calendar
THURSDAY APRIL 7
LOBO TOASTMASTERS MEETINGS Low-cost public speaking
workshop in a friendly, no-pressure environment. UNM
Student Union Building (SUB) Room 3041 (Bldg. 60).
$0-$7. Noon-1pm. 277-8482. alibi.com/e/178871.
KIDS
CHILDREN’S CREATIVE MOVEMENT WORKSHOP A creative
movement workshop where preschool children ages 2 to 4
learn basic dance concepts such as rhythm, balance,
shape, imagination and more. South Valley Public Library
(3904 Isleta SW). 2:30pm. 768-5170.
alibi.com/e/181956.
MUSIC TOGETHER FAMILY CLASSES Combines music with
movement and play. Grownups learn together with their
children and then recreate the fun at home with recordings and songbooks. Studio Sway (1100 San Mateo NE).
$130. 10:30-11:15am. 710-5096. alibi.com/e/183913.
LEARN
EARTH WEEK EXTRAVAGANZA
April 18-22 | Save 30%-50% Off!
Details at the Store & ThriftTown.com
ENTREPRENEURIAL HAPPY HOUR: FAIL NIGHT Three stories
of failure from the trenches and battlefields of entrepreneurship. Tractor Brewery Wells Park (1800 Fourth
Street NW). 5:30pm. 243-6752. alibi.com/e/183544.
REFRAMING RESOURCES: WATER IN THE CONTEMPORARY
PUEBLO WORLD, PART II Four-part discussion series
curated by Pueblo scholar Daryl Lucero on the role of
water in Pueblo life and Pueblo sovereignty. Indian Pueblo
Cultural Center (2401 12th Street NW). 5:30-7pm.
843-7270. alibi.com/e/176030.
THE RISE OF MOVEMENT-BASED PARTIES IN LATIN
AMERICA Dr. Santiago Anria discusses the movementbased parties that represent the interests of the politically
and socially marginalized. Dane Smith Hall
(1 University NE). 9:30-11am. alibi.com/e/182562.
UNM REBRANDING INITIATIVE DISCUSSION The current
status of the new branding effort and how it is going to
affect the Health Sciences Center. UNM Medical School
(1001 Stanford NE). 10-11am. alibi.com/e/184008.
THE WINGS OF FREEDOM TOUR Experience WWII flying
history with tours and flights on vintage aircraft. Cutter
Aviation (2502 Clark Carr Loop SE). $6-$12.
9am-4:30pm. (800) 568-8924. alibi.com/e/183627.
WELLNESS/FITNESS
CONTEMPORARY DANCE AND CHOREOGRAPHY CLASS Work
on full body awareness through stretching and strengthening exercises, as well as focusing on a combination of
modern, jazz and lyrical dance styles. Maple Street Dance
Studio (Alley Entrance) (3215 Central). $13. 4-5:20pm.
699-9018. alibi.com/e/178431.
FRIDAY APRIL 8
ELVIS LIVE A celebration of Elvis and his music with live
karaoke by The Bar Stars, car show and food
from Hacienda del Rio. Historic Old Town
(303 Romero NW). 5-8pm. alibi.com/e/177324. See
Event Horizon.
SPRING CRAFT FAIR Over 15 vendors all presenting handmade and hand crafted items. Bake sale also included.
First Congregational Church (2801 Lomas NE). 4-7pm.
265-5749. alibi.com/e/180077.
KIDS
LEAP INTO SCIENCE: A BALANCING ACT Explore and investigate the science of balance through fun activities and
questions. Alamosa Library (6900 Gonzales SW). 4-5pm.
836-0684. alibi.com/e/184010.
TWEEN SCENE: SNAP CIRCUITS Tweens 9-12, learn about
snap circuits and visit with Kate from
Sandia Labs. Registration required and limited to 15.
Cherry Hills Library (6901 Barstow NE). 4:30-5:30pm.
857-8321. alibi.com/e/184012.
LEARN
THE WINGS OF FREEDOM TOUR $6-$12. 9am-noon. See 4/7
listing.
WELLNESS/FITNESS
YOGA DATE NIGHT AND THAI YOGA MASSAGE The nourishing
practice of duo asana, Thai yoga massage, romantic
essential oils and aphrodisiac bites are paired together to
celebrate your union. Kalm Yoga (8338 Comanche Rd NE
Albuquerque, NM 87110). $25-$30. 6-8pm.
alibi.com/e/183283.
SATURDAY APRIL 9
7TH ANNUAL BLUE DOOR BALL Boys & Girls Clubs of Central
New Mexico celebrates with a cocktail reception and
plated dinner, live entertainment, silent and live auctions,
and discounted room rates. Hotel Albuquerque (800 Rio
[16]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Grande NW). $150. 5:30pm. 881-0777.
alibi.com/e/181637.
GREEN PARTY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE DEBATE Featuring
five candidates for the nomination. UNM Student Union
Building, Atrium (ground floor) (1 University of New
Mexico). 4-6pm. 473-3621. alibi.com/e/184560.
LUCKY PAWS VAN ON THE MOVE Archery classes to benefit
Animal Welfare/Kennel Kompadres. Pet adoption in the
morning. Archery Shoppe (2910 Carlisle NE). $25.
9am-noon. 878-9768. alibi.com/e/184156.
POKÉMON TRADING CARD GAME STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS
Competitors vie for the coveted title and earn championship points that count toward a potential invite to
the World Championships. Albuquerque Convention
Center (401 Second Street NW). $0-$10. 8am. (602)
791-4941. alibi.com/e/184373. See Event Horizon.
SPRING CRAFT FAIR 9am-4pm. See 4/8 listing.
KIDS
AMERICAN GIRL FASHION SHOW Showcases historical and
contemporary fashions for girls and their dolls. Benefits
Junior League of Albuquerque’s initiative to support early
childhood education. Jewish Community Center
(5520 Wyoming NE). $35. 10:30am, 1:30pm. 260-5199.
alibi.com/e/180608.
PETER AND THE WOLF The Music Guild of New Mexico introduces orchestral instruments to children using Prokofiev’s
composition. Central & Unser Library (8081 Central NW).
10:30am-noon. alibi.com/e/182571.
LEARN
CREATE ENGAGING VIDEOS THAT TELL A STORY An entertainment professional guides you on how to create a beginning, middle and end to your clip to create video you can
share. CNM Workforce Training Center (5600 Eagle
Rock NE). $49. 10am-2:30pm. alibi.com/e/182567.
THE GREAT APE-RIL Learn more about the BioPark gorillas. A
month long event. See online for more details. ABQ
BioPark Zoo (903 10th Street SW). FREE with regular
admission. 10am-2pm. 764-6214. alibi.com/e/179557.
PEOPLE CREATE CITIES: THE ISLAMIC COMMUNITY Abbas
Akhil, president of the New Mexico Islamic Center, tells the
story of Albuquerque’s Islamic community. Special
Collections Library (423 Central NE). 10:30am-noon.
848-1376. alibi.com/e/182580.
REFUGEE YOUTH MENTORING TRAINING Get more information and the training necessary to make a difference in
the lives of refugee children in your community. Catholic
Charities (3301 Candelaria NE, Suite B). 9am-5pm.
724-4609. alibi.com/e/182869.
SECOND SATURDAY Presentation by a paleobotanist on the
plants found in New Mexico 1,000 years ago. Casa San
Ysidro (973 Old Church, Corrales). 3-4pm. (505)
898-3915. alibi.com/e/182608.
XERISCAPE SEMINAR Claude Ceniceros presents
a seminar which offers an introduction to the principles of
xeriscaping—including plant selection, design strategies
and drip irrigation. Cherry Hills Library (6901 Barstow NE).
10am-noon. 857-8321. alibi.com/e/184018.
SPORTS/OUTDOOR
BOWL FOR KIDS’ SAKE Create a team of five people, raise at
least $625 for Big Brothers Big Sisters, and then celebrate at a bowling event. Isleta Resort & Casino: The
Showroom (11000 Broadway SE). 9am-9pm.
alibi.com/e/182575.
CORNHOLE TOURNAMENT Nine teams go head to head. First
place gets cash, second gets some Tractor swag and third
gets to go home. Tractor Brewery Wells Park (1800 Fourth
Street NW). 3pm. 243-6752. alibi.com/e/183558.
DUKE CITY GLADIATORS CAR SHOW Food, live music, raffles
and meet the team. Tingley Coliseum (300 San
Pedro NE). $30. 10am-4pm. alibi.com/e/182581.
FREE FISHING DERBY The Central Pond is stocked with over
5,000 rainbow trout, including 200 tagged fish. Catch one
of the tagged trout and win a prize. Tingley Beach
(1800 Tingley SW). 6:30am-4pm. 768-2000.
alibi.com/e/177325.
N.M. STARS VS ABILENE WARRIORS Professional indoor football. Santa Ana Star Center (3001 Civic Center, Rio
Rancho). 5pm. 891-7300. alibi.com/e/182579.
THE RIO GRANDE RUGBY UNION Brujos vs Aardvarks. Balloon
Fiesta Park (5500 Balloon Fiesta Parkway). 1-3pm.
alibi.com/e/182578.
RUNNING MEDICINE SPRING SEASON Running Medicine is a
new running program in Albuquerque, geared toward all
ages and ability levels. Eight weeks of training culminates
in two races. USS Bullhead Memorial Park (1606 San
Pedro SE). $15 for the season. 9-10am. 340-5658.
alibi.com/e/180979.
THE SUPER RUN 5K Superhero themed run that raises funds
and awareness for IMPACT, a nonprofit that prevents
violence by building skills and inspiring people to be
agents of change. Balloon Fiesta Park (5500 Balloon
Fiesta Parkway). $35-$45. 8-11am. (734) 744-6175.
alibi.com/e/182891.
TAYLOR TRUDEAU CYCLE Fraternity Pi Kappa Alpha raise
money to fight leukemia. Event includes 15K bike race, 5K
run and snacks. Johnson Field, University of New Mexico
(Redondo Dr NE). $15. 8am. alibi.com/e/183408.
WELCOME CENTER WORK DAY Help build a welcome center.
Desert Oasis Teaching Garden (6400 Wyoming NE).
9am-noon. alibi.com/e/184021.
SUNDAY APRIL 10
KIDS
AMERICAN GIRL FASHION SHOW $35. 11:30am, 2:30pm.
See 4/9 listing.
MEDITATION FOR KIDS Class includes a short meditation,
teaching and activities to help children increase their positive
minds of patience, respect for others, giving and kindness.
Kadampa Meditation Center New Mexico (142 Monroe NE).
$3. 10-11:30am. 292-5293. alibi.com/e/184177.
LEARN
EXPLORA’S POP SCIENCE ACTIVITY Meet local scientists as
they offer demos and activities related to their work.
Explora (1701 Mountain NW). FREE with regular admission. 1-4pm. alibi.com/e/182582.
SPORTS/OUTDOOR
LOBO TRIATHLON Triathlon participants run 5K around the
UNM central campus, bike 20K out and back to Mesa del
Sol and swim 400 meters in Johnson Center’s Olympic
pool. UNM Johnson Field (2705 Central NE). $15-$85.
7-11am. alibi.com/e/180928.
journey in a nurturing and supportive environment.
Inspired Birth and Families (6855 Fourth Street NW).
$10. 6-7pm. 232-2772. alibi.com/e/179456.
Food
WEDNESDAY APRIL 13
DRINKING LIBERALLY ALBUQUERQUE CHAPTER Join other
like-minded liberals to lift a pint for democracy. Meet in
the heated back patio area. Look for the “Drinking
Liberally” sign. O’Niell’s Pub (3301 Juan Tabo NE). 6-8pm.
264-1368. alibi.com/e/176621.
FIRST WE WALKED OUT, NOW WE OPT OUT A town hall on
standardized testing. Featuring special guest Janelle
Astorga, co-leader of the Albuquerque High School
PARCC walk outs. African American Performing Arts
Center (310 San Pedro NE). 6-8pm. 247-8832.
alibi.com/e/183933. See Event Horizon.
LEARN
HERBALISM SERIES Learn how herbs can treat many acute
and chronic illnesses. Hands-on instruction on how to
prepare and use herbal remedies. A seven-part series. The
Source (1111 Carlisle SE). $185. 6-8pm. 265-5900.
alibi.com/e/175770.
THURSDAY APRIL 7
FUNDRAISER NIGHT 10% of sales go to Diabetic Supply
Rescue, a non-profit organization that makes sure no
diabetic test strip expires or goes to waste. Flying Star
Café (8000 Paseo Del Norte NE). 5-9pm. 923-4211.
alibi.com/e/184365.
FRIDAY APRIL 8
FREE COFFEE TASTING Free coffee tasting every Friday night.
Try a variety of blends, single origins and even espresso.
Prosum Roasters (3228 Los Arboles NE). FREE.
6:30-8pm. 379-5136. alibi.com/e/172906.
SOUTHWEST OPERA MENU A themed meal before the show.
For full menu, see online. M’Tucci’s Cocina Grill
(1701 Fourth Street SW). $29-$35. 5-8pm. 242-3564.
alibi.com/e/183616.
SATURDAY APRIL 9
GATOS Y GALLETAS OPENING New Mexico’s first cat café
opens its doors with live music and other special activities. And cats. Gatos y Galletas (412 Central SE).
10am-9pm. 289-0775. alibi.com/e/184955.
GREAT NEW MEXICO FOOD TRUCK AND CRAFT BEER
FESTIVAL Enjoy a day of fun, gourmet cuisine and local
and national craft beers all in one place. Live music
and face painting also onsite. Anderson-Abruzzo
Albuquerque International Balloon Museum (Balloon
Museum Drive NE). $0-$10. Noon-6pm. (617)
254-9500. alibi.com/e/182712. See Event Horizon.
LOS RANCHOS GROWERS’ MARKET Greens, eggs, flowers,
pastries and bread, plus arts and crafts and live music.
Los Ranchos Village Hall (6718 Rio Grande NW, Los
Ranchos). 10am-noon. alibi.com/e/184953.
SUNDAY APRIL 10
SOUTHWEST OPERA MENU $29-$35. 11am-2pm. See 4/8
listing.
TUESDAY APRIL 12
WELLNESS/FITNESS
DRUM JOURNEY: URBAN SHAMAN Experience a powerful
journey through sound and tap into your own
personal abilities for healing and growth. The Source
(1111 Carlisle SE). $10. 4:30-6pm. 382-5275.
alibi.com/e/108621.
OPEN PUBLIC MEDITATION SITTING Periods of sitting meditation are interspersed with brief periods of walking meditation. The center supplies the cushions, timekeeper and
chairs. Albuquerque Shambhala Meditation Center
(1102 Mountain NW). 10am-noon. 717-2486.
alibi.com/e/179698.
ORGAN DONOR AWARENESS WALK Proceeds benefit the
Jaime Munoz Scholarship fund through OTAP (Organ
Transplant Awareness Program). Manzano Mesa Multi-Gen
Center (501 Elizabeth SE). $10. 8-10:30am.
alibi.com/e/181630.
SELF-MASSAGE CLASS Yogini Liana Kachakhmadze and
massage therapist Michelle share their life essential tips.
Kalm Yoga (8338 Comanche Rd NE Albuquerque, NM
87110). $10. Noon-1:30pm. alibi.com/e/184025.
SUNDAY MORNING MEDITATION Learn how to practically
bring more peace and happiness into the world by
learning to cherish others, overcome anger and deal with
stress. Kadampa Meditation Center New Mexico
(142 Monroe NE). $10 suggested donation. 10-11:30am.
292-5293. alibi.com/e/184181.
MONDAY APRIL 11
POST FISHING DERBY CLEANUP BioPark staff and volunteers
gather to pick up leftover trash and improperly discarded
fishing lines. Tingley Beach (1800 Tingley SW).
11am-2pm. 768-2000. alibi.com/e/182585.
SPORTS/OUTDOOR
LEARN HOW TO PLAY ROLLER DERBY Bring your own gear or
show up early to borrow some. All skill levels are welcome,
people will be on hand to teach you how to skate. Heights
Community Center (823 Buena Vista SE). 7-9pm.
alibi.com/e/180383.
WELLNESS/FITNESS
METAL YOGA MONDAYS The intention of this practice is to
uplift your mind and body, while having fun and listening
to a metal soundtrack. The Remedy Day Spa
(113 Vassar SE). $5-$12. 8-9pm. 265-9219.
alibi.com/e/180437.
TUESDAY APRIL 12
IMPACT AND COFFEE A space where nonprofit leaders, volunteers, board members, funders and people who want to find
their place in the social impact community meet up.
Epicenter (199 Central NE). 9-10am. alibi.com/e/180329.
PET LOSS GROUP A group supporting those who have lost or
anticipate the loss of an animal companion. Call 265-3087
to register. VCA Veterinary Care Animal Hospital
(9901 Montgomery NE). $20. 6-7pm. alibi.com/e/175340.
LEARN
POWER DYNAMICS FOR RADICAL RELATIONSHIPS Examine
terminology around radical relationships and delve deeply
into the nitty gritty of negotiation, relationship sanctity and
need fulfillment. Self Serve (3904 Central SE). $15-$20.
7:30pm. 265-5815. alibi.com/e/182380.
WELLNESS/FITNESS
CONTENTMENT IN EVERYDAY LIFE The course includes video
teachings, meditation practice and discussion. Introductory
meditation instruction is provided. Albuquerque
Shambhala Meditation Center (1102 Mountain NW).
$100. 7-9pm. 717-2486. alibi.com/e/181203.
PRENATAL YOGA Explore ways to reduce the aches and pains
that accompany pregnancy while preparing for your
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[17]
Imaginary Friends & Fools
Roe LiBretto • Laura Wacha • Ilene Weiss
Art Exhibit Closing Celebration • Sat • April 9 • 5:00pm
with the Music of Eileen and the In-Betweens • 6:30pm
TortugaGallery.ORG • 901 Edith SE • ALBUQUERQUE
[18]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
ARTS | culTuRe Shock
COMIC REVIEW
Time and the Mayor
BY MIKEE RIGGS
Larry Bob Phillips’ “Back to the Bosque” reminds us that art happens now
PHOTO BY J. GRISHAM
BY JOSHUA LEE
t seems that many artists are motivated by
the fear of death. Why else do they take a
painting, encase it in glass and hang it
under lighting designed to limit
deterioration? They do it to fight the
inherent entropy of the universe, to pretend
that it won’t all turn to dust one day. The
artist secretly desires to live forever—for
their art to go on into the future, denying
the inevitable race to extinction. At night,
they lie in bed and imagine their name
whispered in reverence by ancestors in
distant futures.
Which is fine and dandy, of course, but it
seems like such a waste when one considers
the immediacy of visual art—its ability to
affect the viewer in real-time. The image
happens now, at the spot where the optic
nerve meets the visual cortex, and using our
ancient nervous system against itself, it tricks
us into thinking pigment on canvas can be a
melting clock, or the Mona Lisa’s smile, or
dogs playing poker. It seizes the emotional
centers and makes us feel things that color
and paper shouldn’t make us feel, and it does
it almost instantly.
I think about it as I look at the menacing,
cartoonish face of Mayor Berry, painted in
gigantic proportions, angrily snarling as he
rapes the Bosque with a bulldozer penis
substitute. Berry’s flaring nostrils are big
enough for me to put my fist into, and there’s
an immediate physical reaction in the pit of
I
my belly to the the monstrosity staring down
at me.
A few feet away, Larry Bob Phillips calmly
lays down feathery strokes that become the
negative space of a treeline on a wall. He’s
working on a piece that will be opening at
the Graft Gallery in a few days. I watch his
hands move without hesitation and decide
not to tell him how impressed I am. He’s
using that visceral reaction of mine to make
me examine something that’s happening right
now, right here—creating a change in the
reality around him through the manipulation
of images and symbols. It’s the difference
between living and dead art: the intention of
result.
The piece takes up three walls of the gallery
and is the latest in a body of mural work that
Phillips has been leaving throughout the
country. This one is different from previous
work. It tells the story of a crew of time
travelers sent back from the future to stop
Mayor Berry from fucking with the Bosque in
high-contrast black and white, Phillips’
signature style. “It’s a short-term, mostly
unplanned, sort of on-the-wall comic which
I’ve been wanting to do for years,” he tells me.
“I’m treating things as cells, even though they
might not be divided with framing lines. But
there’s a narrative; it’s not broken. I don’t have
to dissipate into gratuitous psychedelia or
something like that.”
The piece takes up the cry of local activists
who are worried that the Mayor’s controversial
plans for the Paseo del Bosque Trail will run
off wildlife and negatively affect the local
environment, and uses the immediacy of art to
literally paint the issue in stark black and
white. Phillips is obviously aware of the power
behind such timely work. “It’s nice when an
art community decides to feel vested in
something, and the activism community
overlaps with it. There’s a lot of preaching to
the choir that happens with almost any group,
so it’s good to try to engage current issues and
target [a different audience].”
But with murals, the audience doesn’t even
have to actively engage to be affected. As
Phillips is perceptive enough to realize, the
subconscious picks up cues from the world
around us without ever bothering to let us
know. “Artists are always hacking their visual
environment—creating beauty through color
and pattern—and you don’t have to
consciously read every image to be affected by
it.”
It’s guerilla mind control. Art as a psychic
weapon in the war of ideas. Meme bombs
planted in the periphery of the passerby’s
perception, where they wait—armed and
dangerous and completely undetectable. It’s
what art was probably invented for all those
eons ago when a shaman daubed paint on the
wall of his cave.
And it takes someone like Phillips—surehanded, quietly intense and aloof—to bypass the
call of ego and immortality and attack instead
the here and now, where it’s needed. It might
seem obvious, but art isn’t just about pretty
pictures and nebulous emotions. It’s about
creating change. (But Phillips’ pictures also
happen to be very pretty, so no big loss there.) a
After finishing up the volume one trade
paperback of this currently running Image
series, I was instantly reminded of something
Captain Spaulding said in House of 1,000
Corpses: “Do you like blood, violence and
freaks of nature?” If you are aware of the
line—and even more so if it appeals to you—
then you should be reading Spread. Spread is
a perfect mix of science fiction and horror in
comic book form. By taking themes
reminiscent of John Carpenter’s The Thing
and mixing in classic horror elements (gore,
cannibalism, extreme violence) the series
manages to be intense and for that reason,
engaging. Justin Jordan has crafted a very
relaxed narrative that maintains levity in
what would otherwise be a stark and horrific
book. Jordan creates a wealth of compelling
characters in the first arc too, giving them all
unique voices, motivations and quirks.
Equally compelling is the art of Kyle Strahm,
which is alternately kinetic and precise,
contributing to a compulsively readable
whole.
The book centers around a lone man
named No and his quest to keep the child
known as Hope alive. The first arc offers a
very well thought-out look at the settings
and characters the book hopes to explore in
the future. It also manages to incorporate a
very fun vibe similar to that of the manga
Lone Wolf and Cub which many people will
recognize and enjoy. Even with the vast
auxiliary cast of the story we are made
aware that No and Hope are the focal points.
While reading the book I couldn’t help but
feel a connection to classic horror comics of
the ’80s. It left me wanting to go back and
read early Deadworld comics when Vince
Locke was handling the art (famous for his
Cannibal Corpse album covers). Like Locke
before him, Strahm manages to evoke fear by
illustrating the details of violence. He
blatantly proclaims a love of gore in the
foreword of the first volume, saying he hopes
it will make you cringe as well as chuckle—a
theme that seems to run throughout the
title’s first volume. The way Strahm manages
to convey the consuming fear and daunting
scope of the apocalyptic organism known as
the Spread is a feat few others would be able
to handle or execute so well.
With a mix of manga-style tendrils and
what can only be thought of as raw meat,
Spread does exactly as its namesake
suggests—pulses its way through the
landscapes of the book. Spread is a rush that
shouldn’t be missed. If you are sitting around
waiting for the next big thing in horror, it’s
here and it’s spreading. a
Image Comics, monthly
$3.50
33 pages
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[19]
Arts & Lit
Calendar
THURSDAY APRIL 7
ART
UNM ART MUSEUM Does Not Authenticate: Art, Identity, and
Artifact. Part of Meeting of the Minds, an informal series
of lunchtime conversations and creative interventions
about artwork on view at the UNM Art Museum. Noon.
277-6773. alibi.com/e/179162.
STAGE
ADOBE THEATER Caesar’s Blood. A startling brew of political
assassination, Shakespeare and sibling rivalry and one of
the most remarkable nights in theater history. $15-$17.
7:30-10pm. 898-9222. alibi.com/e/182862.
KESHET CENTER FOR THE ARTS The Quality of Life. Mother
Road Theatre Company presents a hilarious, heartfelt story
of human existence where true love knows no bounds,
family roots run true, and there are a few things red wine
and a bong hit won’t fix. $22-$15. 7:30pm. 243-0596.
alibi.com/e/181983.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Yo Soy Joaquín! The
epic poem by Rodolfo “Corky” Gonzales, presented in the
form of a play, speaks of the struggles the Chicano people
have faced in trying to achieve economic justice and
equal rights in the US. $15-$18. 7:30pm. (505)
7224-4771. alibi.com/e/183549.
FILM
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Marshland. In a
remote and forgotten village on the Guadalquivir Marshes,
two homicide detectives from Madrid investigate the
disappearance of two teenage girls. 7pm. 724-4771.
alibi.com/e/184233.
TAOS CENTER FOR THE ARTS, Taos Taos Shortz Film Fest. The
9th annual festival screens 150 juried short films from 30
countries. Films include documentary, drama, comedy,
animation and “out of the ordinary” genres. $5-$12.
alibi.com/e/183940.
FRIDAY APRIL 8
ART
SHAKEN
SH
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NOT
STIRRED
NO
N
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T RRED
TIR
A COCKTAIL
L PARTY BENEFIT
RAFFLE
AND To Paris,
with
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Saturday, April 9 • 7–11 p .m.
The Albuquerque Museum
19th and Mountain Road NW
For more information, go to:
albuquerquemuseum.org/shaken
Call 505.842.0111
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SURJUDPVDWWKH$OEXTXHUTXH0XVHXP
Brought to you by
[20]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
and
FACTORY ON 5TH ART SPACE Go Home Yankee! Photographic
series investigating growing up in a southern New Mexico
military community. 977-9643. alibi.com/e/182926.
MAXWELL MUSEUM OF ANTHROPOLOGY The Artisans in
China’s Past by Lan Wu. Lan Wu discusses artisans of Qing
Dynasty crafts. 1-3pm. alibi.com/e/182565. Also, Earth,
Fire and Life: Six Thousand Years of Chinese Ceramics.
Opening celebration for latest exhibition. Examine more
than 100 pieces of “China.” 6-8pm. 277-4405.
alibi.com/e/182564.
PAGE COLEMAN GALLERY Andrew Fearnside and Gail Gering
Opening Reception. Abstracted landscapes and etched
metal pieces. Runs through 6/18. 5:30-7:30pm.
238-5071. alibi.com/e/181668.
SITE SANTA FE, Santa Fe SITE Unseen 9. Artists create and
donate works on identical boards that are exhibited
anonymously for $300 each. 6-7:30pm. (505)
989-1199. alibi.com/e/180245.
STAGE
ADOBE THEATER Caesar’s Blood. $15-$17. 7:30-10pm. See
4/7 listing.
AUX DOG THEATRE The Graduate. Benjamin graduates from
college and is adrift until he begins an affair with the
seductive Mrs. Robinson, only to fall in love with her
daughter, Elaine. $10-$20. 8pm. 254-7716.
alibi.com/e/183208.
BOX PERFORMANCE SPACE AND IMPROV THEATRE The
Show. Improvisational comedy show. $10. 8-9pm.
alibi.com/e/176067. Also, The Arcade. Improvised
comedy based on audience’s choice of genre. $8.
9:30-10:30pm. 404-1578. alibi.com/e/182974.
FOUL PLAY CAFE, Sheraton Uptown Guns and Poses. Private
eye Stan Drake gets called to a seedy supper club in
Miami, 1956, to investigate the disappearance of one of
the partners. $50+. 7:30-10pm. 377-9593.
alibi.com/e/179232.
KESHET CENTER FOR THE ARTS The Quality of Life. $22-$15.
7:30pm. See 4/7 listing.
MUSICAL THEATRE SOUTHWEST Clue the Musical. Comic
antics, witty lyrics and a beguiling score carry the investigation from room to room. Even after the culprit
confesses, a surprise twist delights the audience.
$20-$22. 7:30pm. 265-9119. alibi.com/e/182320.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Yo Soy Joaquín!
$15-$18. 7:30pm. See 4/7 listing.
RODEY THEATRE, Popejoy Hall Chatterbox. The relationship
between Valentina, a spirited kindergarten teacher, and
Marco, an uptight literary scholar and expert on the work
of one reclusive Chicano writer. $10-$15. 7:30-9:30pm.
277-4332. alibi.com/e/183560.
VORTEX THEATRE Terra Nova. An extraordinary play by screenwriter of The Silence of the Lambs depicting Robert Falcon
Scott’s race to the South Pole in 1912. $12-$22.
7:30-10pm. 247-8600. alibi.com/e/183584.
WAREHOUSE 21, Santa Fe All Too Human. Frederick Nietzsche
and his best friend Paul Rée vie for the attention of an adventurous young woman Lou Salomé in 19th century Rome.
$16-$22. 7:30-9:30pm. 303-0181. alibi.com/e/180055.
SONG & DANCE
AFRICAN AMERICAN PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Expo NM
UNM Jazz Festival with Frank Greene. Trumpeter Frank
Greene performs with UNM Jazz Band I for the concluding
concert of the annual UNM Jazz Festival. $5-$10.
7-8:30pm. 222-0778. alibi.com/e/184013.
SANDIA BAPTIST CHURCH Spring Concert. Spring concert
featuring music by Young at Heart Choir and Bar D
Wranglers. $10-$15. 2-4pm, 7-9pm. alibi.com/e/182116.
SIMMS CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS, Albuquerque
Academy Amjad Ali Khan, Amaan Ali Khan, Ayaan Ali Khan
and Rahim AlHaj. See the internationally known, Grammy
nominated classical Indian musicans. $35. 7:30-9:30pm.
828-3200. alibi.com/e/182960.
LEARN
ALAMOSA LIBRARY Adult Craft with Tina. Welcome spring with
a cool suncatcher. 4-5pm. 836-0684.
alibi.com/e/184011.
FILM
KIMO THEATRE New Mexico Philharmonic Music and Arts
Festival. An evening of silent movies from around the turn
of the 20th century, featuring movies directed by Manuel
Areu. 6-9pm. 768-3544. alibi.com/e/182954.
TAOS CENTER FOR THE ARTS, Taos Taos Shortz Film Fest.
$5-$12. See 4/7 listing.
SATURDAY APRIL 9
WORDS
MAIN LIBRARY The Man Who Fell From the Sky. New York
Times bestselling author Margaret Coel signs and
discusses her new book. 3-4:30pm. 768-5170.
alibi.com/e/183213.
UNM CONTINUING EDUCATION BUILDING Writing: From Start
to Sales XII. Twelfth Annual Writer’s Conference with authors
and teachers exploring the latest trends in publishing. $150.
8:30am-4:30pm. 277-6320. alibi.com/e/180889. Also,
UNM Young Writer’s Conference. Learn the ins and outs of
writing and getting published from professional writers. $75.
8:30am-4pm. 277-0077. alibi.com/e/175646.
ART
ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Shaken, Not
Stirred. Cocktail party benefiting Lead with the Arts and
other educational programs of the Albuquerque Museum.
$50-$60. 7-11pm. 243-7255. alibi.com/e/182609.
CANVAS ARTISTRY KITCHEN MUSIC ART BAR Art Show.
Featuring unique works from many local artists, including
Joshua Patterson of SSR Clothing and Michael Trujillo of
4PM. Funds donated to the non-profit Diné Relief Intiative.
7pm-1am. alibi.com/e/182824.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Saturdays in the
Museum. A docent-led tour for different exhibits. FREE
with museum admission. 1-2pm. 246-2261.
alibi.com/e/184223.
SITE SANTA FE, Santa Fe SITE Unseen 9. 6-7:30pm. See 4/8
listing.
TORTUGA GALLERY Imaginary Friends and Fools Closing. A
last look at the work of Roe LiBretto, Laura Wacha and
Ilene Weiss. 5pm. 506-0820. alibi.com/e/183699.
STAGE
ADOBE THEATER Caesar’s Blood. $15-$17. 7:30-10pm. See
4/7 listing.
AUX DOG THEATRE The Graduate. $10-$20. 8pm. See 4/8
listing.
BOX PERFORMANCE SPACE AND IMPROV THEATRE The
Show. $10. 8-9pm. See 4/8 listing.
FOUL PLAY CAFE, Sheraton Uptown Guns and Poses. $50+.
7:30-10pm. See 4/8 listing.
KESHET CENTER FOR THE ARTS The Quality of Life. $22-$15.
7:30pm. See 4/7 listing.
MUSICAL THEATRE SOUTHWEST Clue the Musical. $20-$22.
7:30pm. See 4/8 listing.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Yo Soy Joaquín!
$15-$18. 7:30pm. See 4/7 listing.
POPEJOY HALL, UNM Center for the Arts Alice in
Wonderland. New Mexico Philharmonic and New Mexico
Ballet present a fully staged performance with full
orchestra conducted by David Felberg. $10-$68.
6-7:45pm. 323-4343. alibi.com/e/183692.
RODEY THEATRE, Popejoy Hall Chatterbox. $10-$15.
7:30-9:30pm. See 4/8 listing.
UNM’S EXPERIMENTAL THEATRE, Center for the Arts Angels
All Die. Frank Abbott lucks into the opportunity to work in
the hair and makeup department of the hottest soap opera
on television and falls in love with one of the stars.
$10-$15. 7:30-9:35pm. 277-4332. alibi.com/e/183741.
VORTEX THEATRE Terra Nova. $12-$22. 7:30-10pm. See 4/8
listing.
VSA NORTH 4TH ART CENTER Churchill’s Finest Hour. A staged
reading of Tom Carroll’s new play performed by Richard
McClarkin. 7-9pm. 345-2872. alibi.com/e/183286.
WAREHOUSE 21, Santa Fe All Too Human. $16-$22.
7:30-9:30pm. See 4/8 listing.
SONG & DANCE
ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Art in the
Afternoon: Zoltan and the Fourtune Tellers. A three piece
string band that specializes in old west music. 2-5pm.
243-7255. alibi.com/e/184016.
COVENANT PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH Annual Community
Concert. Musical performance by The Enchanters choir
with selections from Broadway, jazz and pop with reception afterwards. $5-$10. 3-5pm. 550-7129.
alibi.com/e/181938.
INDIAN PUEBLO CULTURAL CENTER Traditional Native
American Dance. Watch different Native American Dances
put on by different pueblos each weekend. $7-$9.
Noon-1pm. 843-7270. alibi.com/e/182290.
LA MESA PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH Blues and BBQ Benefit
Concert. Event supporting children and the arts with
music by Crystal Inferno and The Rude Boy Experiment
and food from Texas Roadhouse. $10 Suggested donation. 4-7pm. 280-8350.
ST. MICHAEL & ALL ANGELS EPISCOPAL CHURCH Songs of the
Elements. This de Profundis spring concert features diverse
selections of folksongs and sacred works celebrating the four
primal elements. $0-$15. 7:30-9pm. alibi.com/e/183284.
LAS PUERTAS Chatter Sunday: Innovative Solo Piano. George
Crumb’s Makrokosmos I and Markrokosmos II performed
by pianist Peter Degenhardt, with poet Damien Flores.
$5-$15. 10:30-11:30am. alibi.com/e/183447.
LENSIC PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Santa Fe Four
Seasons. Violinist Alexi Kenney leads The Symphony in a
performance of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. $25-$80. 7pm.
983-3530. alibi.com/e/149756.
ST. JOHN’S UNITED METHODIST CHURCH One-Woman
Musical Tribute. Adrienne Danrich narrates the remarkable
story of two African-American opera legends, Marian
Anderson and Leontyne Prince, with moving dialogue and
songs. 2-3:30pm. 883-9717. alibi.com/e/182895.
FILM
TAOS CENTER FOR THE ARTS, Taos Taos Shortz Film Fest.
$5-$12. See 4/7 listing.
MONDAY APRIL 11
WORDS
AFRICAN AMERICAN PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Expo NM
Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic.
Book signing and keynote with author Sam Quinones.
5-8pm. 222-0778. alibi.com/e/184026.
UNIVERSITY OF NEW MEXICO Anne Hillerman. The author
discusses her work and creative process. 3-4pm.
225-5866. alibi.com/e/182586.
TUESDAY APRIL 12
SONG & DANCE
POPEJOY HALL, UNM Center for the Arts Rain. A live, multimedia spectacular that takes you on a musical journey
through the life and times of the world’s most celebrated
band, The Beatles, $35-$50. 7:30-9:30pm. 925-5858.
alibi.com/e/182591.
WORDS
INDIAN PUEBLO CULTURAL CENTER Pueblo Nations. Book
club discussing work by Dr. Joe Sando. 2pm, 6pm.
843-7270. alibi.com/e/182588.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 13
WORDS
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Art Fusion For A Cause:
Word Craft Circle. Tattoo artists and other visual artists
from around the city collaborate on stories. 7pm-midnight.
243-6752. alibi.com/e/183591.
ART
SOUTH BROADWAY CULTURAL CENTER Artists New 2 ABQ.
Opening featuring artists and their work, musical performance
by a Beatles tribute band, and screening of a 1990’s underground art film. 5-9:30pm. 848-1320. alibi.com/e/183661.
ONGOING
ART
FINE ARTS BUILDING @ EXPO NM InSight N.M. Photography
Show. Female photographers from New Mexico display
their artwork for the whole month of April. Thu-Sun, TueWed. 10am-5pm. alibi.com/e/184132.
HISPANIC ARTS BLDG @ EXPO NM MasterWorks of New
Mexico. Some of New Mexico’s finest paintings in four divisions: miniatures, watermedia, pastel, oil and acrylic works.
Thu-Sun, Tue-Wed. 10am-5pm. alibi.com/e/182619.
MAIN LIBRARY Homage to the Greats. LIBROS Annual Book
Arts Show featuring handmade and artist books.
506-6198. alibi.com/e/183807.
NATIVE AMERICAN ARTS GALLERY @ EXPO NM Art is
Elementary Show. Featuring the work of APS elementary
school students K-5. Fri-Wed. alibi.com/e/183308.
LEARN
ERNA FERGUSSON LIBRARY Art Workshop for Teens and
Adults. Each participant creates a chain maille bracelet
using colorful aluminum wire. 11am-1pm. 888-8100.
alibi.com/e/184019.
FILM
TAOS CENTER FOR THE ARTS, Taos Taos Shortz Film Fest.
$5-$12. See 4/7 listing.
UNM DOMENICI CENTER Why Not Home? A documentary
film that tells the story of doctors, nurses and midwives
who have chosen to have home births. A look at risk and
safety of childbirth in America. $12. 6-8pm. 463-1694.
alibi.com/e/184500.
SUNDAY APRIL 10
WORDS
ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Reflections
on Life and Art. Artist and educator Garo Antreasian
discusses his work and career. FREE with admission.
1-3pm. 243-7255. alibi.com/e/182610.
ART
LAS PLACITAS PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, Placitas Placitas
Artists Series Opening Reception. April visual artists
display their mixed-media works, followed by concert.
2-3pm. 867-8080. alibi.com/e/184215.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER New Mexican
Portraiture Now. Conversational panel with Oscar Lozoya,
Derrick Montez, Arturo Olivas and other artists whose
works are featured in the New Mexican Portrait Exhibition.
2-4pm. 246-2261. alibi.com/e/183287.
SITE SANTA FE, Santa Fe SITE Unseen 9. 6-7:30pm. See 4/8
listing.
STAGE
ADOBE THEATER Caesar’s Blood. $15-$17. 2-4:30pm. See
4/7 listing.
AUX DOG THEATRE The Graduate. $10-$20. 2pm. See 4/8
listing.
KESHET CENTER FOR THE ARTS The Quality of Life. $22-$15.
7:30pm. See 4/7 listing.
MUSICAL THEATRE SOUTHWEST Clue the Musical. $20-$22.
4pm. See 4/8 listing.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Yo Soy Joaquín!
$15-$18. 2pm. See 4/7 listing.
RODEY THEATRE, Popejoy Hall Chatterbox. $10-$15. 2-4pm.
See 4/8 listing.
UNM’S EXPERIMENTAL THEATRE, Center for the Arts Angels
All Die. $10-$15. 2-4:05pm. See 4/9 listing.
VORTEX THEATRE Terra Nova. $12-$22. 2-4:30pm. See 4/8
listing. See Event Horizon.
WAREHOUSE 21, Santa Fe All Too Human. $16-$22. 2-4pm.
See 4/8 listing.
SONG & DANCE
IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH Songs of the Elements.
This de Profundis spring concert features diverse selections of folksongs and sacred works celebrating the four
primal elements. Free-$15. 3-4:30pm. See 4/9 ST.
MICHAEL & ALL ANGELS EPISCOPAL CHURCH listing.
INDIAN PUEBLO CULTURAL CENTER Traditional Native
American Dance. $6.40-$8.40. Noon-1pm. See 4/9
listing.
LAS PLACITAS PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH, Placitas Classical
Guitarist. Award-winning Jason Vieaux performs works
from J.S. Bach, Mauro Giuliani and Isaac Albéniz to Duke
Ellington, Antonio Carlos Jobim and Pat Metheny.
$15-$20. 3-5pm. 867-8080. alibi.com/e/183906.
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[21]
[22]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
FOOD | restaurant review
PHOTO BY ERIC WILLIAMS • ERICWPHOTO.COM
Exterior
Eggplant Parm
Calamari
Cover Your Mouth
Mimmo’s Ristorante and Pizzeria’s home-style Italian is worth the patrons
BY JOSHUA LEE
looked across the table into my lover’s eyes.
In the low light of Mimmo’s Ristorante and
Pizzeria dining room, they shined with
mischievous promise. She mouthed
something with her eyebrow cocked. I leaned
in to hear her sweet words. In the booth
behind me, an elderly woman coughed
without covering her mouth. The sound was
ragged and phlegmy, like paper being torn by
a broken fan.
“I didn’t never like reading the Book of
Revelations,” she said to her husband, “It’s
scary!”
I pretended to stretch and looked over my
shoulder to search for an imaginary person.
The back of her husband’s bald head was
stained with sweat trails despite the cool
restaurant. The wire frames of his spectacles
curled back over his satellite dish ears. Across
from him, the sloppy pile of a woman
unconsciously made eye contact with me
before letting go of another unguarded hack,
her little pink tongue sticking out of her wet
mouth and pointing at the table. Her husband
looked out the window and ignored her with
a serenity that came from years of practice.
I
Mimmo’s Ristorante and
Pizzeria
3301 Coors NW
505-831-4191
Hours: Sunday-Thursday 11am to 9pm, Fridays and
Saturdays 11am to 10pm
Vibe: Relaxed and casual accompanied by the
soundtrack from the Black Plague
Alibi recommends: gamberi della casa, melanzane
alla Parmigiana
I turned back around and tried to keep my
disgust from showing. Our server had arrived
and was watching me with detached
professionalism. Were we ready? Yes, we were.
My companion ordered “gamberi della casa,”
saying the name slowly and methodically to
make sure she pronounced it right. “Shrimp
Alfredo?” the server asked right back. “Um,”
she said, “Yeah. Shrimp Alfredo.” Despite
myself, I let out the smallest bark of a laugh,
but I quickly put my hand over my face. I
ordered the melanzane alla Parmigiana
(eggplant Parmesan) with a chicken soup and
calamari fritti (fried squid) for an appetizer.
I watched our server walk away and
eyeballed the buffet we had passed on the way
in. I’m usually leery of all-you-can-eats, but
the steaming, melty pizza and fresh-looking
salad was making me regret ordering off the
menu. I was still wondering what was under
the steel lids lining the buffet’s counter when
our server came back with the calamari. We’d
chosen the “single,” thinking it would be a
tiny thing we could poke at before dinner, but
what he laid out was a massive plate piled
high with buttery fried squid. It was large
enough to make a meal, begging the question
of what squid-powered machine would need a
double. It was crispy and tender—perfectly
fried—but a bit bland. Dipping it in the side
of tart and chunky house marinara made up
for it, though.
My date’s side salad showed up—a heaping
beast of random items from the salad bar. She
had been looking oddly at the person who
brought it. When they walked away again, she
whispered to me, “I think I was supposed to go
make it myself. Did you hear him say that?” I
hadn’t. “I’m pretty sure he did, and since I
didn’t hear him, he just sent someone over to
make it.” She squinted. “Why wouldn’t he just
remind me?” I shrugged and tried my chicken
soup. It was full of fresh green beans and
carrots and had a real homey taste.
Our massive main course soon arrived, and
we immediately pounced. The eggplant took
up its entire plate, with a bowl of spaghetti in
the house marinara on the side that could’ve
been its own entree. Each tender strip of
eggplant that I forked rose with an
increasingly generous amount of cheese. It’s
likely that some sort of witchcraft or quantum
chicanery was at play—a cheese singularity
hidden within the purple fruit. Or it was
stuffed. I was too busy enjoying it to take a
close enough look.
The shrimp alfredo—a decent helping of
larger-than-your-thumb shrimp on top of
fettucini in a white sauce—was like a punch
in the face, it was so good. Rich, buttery and
creamy, it was by far the best alfredo I’ve ever
had. There is a tendency for these dishes to
show up with Parmesan clump islands floating
in lakes of oil, but care and time were
obviously put into the construction of this
incredible sauce, with attention paid to the
texture as well as the—
Hack. Sputter. Blechem. The walking
infection center in the booth behind me was
at it again, this time wheezing between
mouthfuls of a delicious looking slice of cake.
I gave up on the rest of my dinner and asked
our wooden waiter for doggie bags. I will
definitely be making a return trip, but I might
need to get a Hazmat suit first. a
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[23]
ZENDO ARTESPRESSO
Chowtown
a rotating guide to restaurants we like
suggest a restaurant or search for more at:
w alibi.com/chowtown
These listings have no connection with Alibi advertising
Everyone
Gets a
Trophy
DOWNTOWN
THE BREW
311 Gold SW, 363-9453 • $
[Coffee/Tea/Espresso] The Brew by Villa Myriam
makes a lasting mark with its comfortable seating,
low-key, classy vibe and superior beverage menu. Our
favorites include the green tea latte, the red chile
mocha and the cortado—a drink like a concentrated
latté.
CAFÉ LUSH
413 Second Street SW, 926-1636 • $
[Coffee/Tea/Espresso] The decor here is
minimalist but Zendo makes up for the barebones
aesthetic by serving an array of near-perfect espresso
drinks and by committing to support local arts and
music events. Speciality beverages include a Mexican
latte—white chocolate and cinammon—and, of course,
the Heisenberg—made with six shots of espresso and
dusted with sky blue sugar crystals. At least, we hope
that’s sugar.
MIDTOWN
AMORE NEAPOLITAN PIZZERIA
3600 Cutler NE, 554-1967 • $$
[Pizza] This pizza is so good it’s certified. There
aren’t many places in ABQ to get real Neapolitan
pizza, but Amore’s owners are officially endorsed by
the Associazione Pizzaiuoli Napoletani. The pies
feature house-made mozzarella, dough and sauce.
The salads are fresh and organic, and you can stay
indoors or go out on the Green Jeans patio to eat your
slice of heaven.
NAPOLI COFFEE
3035 Menaul NE, 884-5454 • $
[Coffee/Tea/Espresso] This is the kind of friendly,
local and, above all, comfortable coffee shop that has
become a rare breed since the caffeine-laced heyday
of the mid-’90s. Napoli Coffee offers a warm and
inviting sitting area that makes it a perfect hangout
spot on a chilly spring day. You can pick up all the
usual espresso drinks here as well as iced coffee,
sandwiches, burritos and pastries.
700 Tijeras NW, 508-0164 • $
[Deli/Sandwiches] Café Lush is like a daydream of
the way things might be in some future hybrid of
Europe and Albuquerque. It’s an urban café on a
quiet street corner, with a small menu of simple, yet
well-crafted, dishes and a pledge to use local,
seasonal and organic ingredients whenever possible.
But unlike in Europe, the red and green chile won’t
disappoint. Owner Tom Docherty was voted Best Chef
in Albuquerque in our 2013 reader poll!
JAVA JOE’S
906 Park SW, 765-1514 • $
[Coffee/Tea/Espresso] According to one of our
readers, Java Joe’s is “the last of a dying breed.” There
are indeed “few choices left to get that cool HaightAshbury ’60s feeling.” Don’t get the wrong idea
though; this neighborhood coffee shop isn’t
overflowing with hippies. It attracts a diverse crowd of
cyclists, artists, musicians, hipsters and grownups just
looking for a cuppa joe (albeit one with in-house
roasted beans). The food is simple and satisfying,
from freshly baked scones to waffles, sandwiches and
salads. Warning: The scrambled-egg breakfast burrito
may cause you to moan out loud. Don’t worry though,
the people sitting around you will understand or my
not even hear you over the live music.
SLATE STREET CAFÉ
515 Slate NW, 243-2210 • $$$
SANTA FE BREWING CO.
3600 Cutler NE, 881-0887
[Brewery] New to Albuquerque, Santa Fe Brewery
Co. has made its official home at Green Jeans
Farmery. You can stay and have a beer or two, or take
a growler or six-pack to go. With a choice of over 25
beers on tap and the option to bring food in from
other establishments, it’s hard to leave this beautiful
building.
VIET TASTE
5721 Menaul NE, 888-0101 • $
[Vietnamese] Who doesn’t like a hot, inexpensive,
filling bowl of pho? Or a tank of sweet-and-sour soup
with catfish? Having a light lunch of a papaya salad
with shrimp and an avocado shake is just the thing to
shake off days of stress and too many cheeseburgers.
NOB HILL
CRAZY FISH
3015 Central NE, 232-3474 • $$
[Japanese] The lunch menu at contemporary Crazy
Fish is accessible and affordably priced, with
selections from a full sushi bar (other options include
calamari salad and a barbecued eel bowl). At dinner,
the menu is more exciting but not that much more
expensive. The mushroom-udon soup is transportive.
[Fine Dining] Slate is on a quiet, blink-and-youmiss-it avenue between Fifth and Sixth Street (just
north of Lomas), nestled right in the heart of the legal
district. Like the space itself, the menu is polished
and unintimidating. Don’t miss the ahi tuna sandwich
(with gluten-free bread available!). It’s all very
affordable for its level of quality. There’s also a
fabulous wine loft—and owner Myra Ghattas is a
certified sommelier. And there’s a daily selection of
reliably good cupcakes—try the key lime.
NORTHEAST HEIGHTS
BASIL LEAF
1225 Eubank NE, 323-2594 • $
[Vietnamese] The pho is fragrant, the coffee is
strong and sweet, and ordinary dishes are interesting
because you want to know how this kitchen is going
to finish it. Spring rolls are a level above others, wellrolled and multi-textured. This place has one of the
crispiest papaya salads in town; the salad topped
with beef jerky is especially out of hand.
KEY: $ = Inexpensive $8 or less | $$ = Moderate $8 to $15 | $$$ = Expensive $15 to $20 | $$$$ = Very Expensive $20 and up
[24]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
BILLY’S LONG BAR
4800 San Mateo NE, 889-0573
[Bar and Grill/Pub] Billy’s darkened decor creates
the perfect dive bar ambience without compromising
food or beer. The beer selection is extensive with over
50 different beers offered on draft. The menu is
surprisingly substantial, as well. While most vegetarian
options are appetizers, it’s worth the trip—especially
for the Hellfire chips! The servers are friendly and
attentive (but not overly-so).
FEDERICO’S MEXICAN FOOD
1109 Juan Tabo NE, 271-6499 • $
[Mexican] The thought of a restaurant without green
chile scares the crap out of most New Mexicans, but if
you can get past the initial shock, the authentic
Mexican food at Federico’s is good and good for you.
The cheap prices don’t reflect the grande portions, or
the top-rate quality of the ingredients, and the place
is open 24 hours every day. Take the kids, take the
dog or just take yourself out for a late plate of
authentic tacos, burritos, chimichangas and an icecold horchata. Your stomach and your wallet will thank
you in the morning.
LE PARIS FRENCH BAKERY
instead. There’s also a serious collection of root beers
and out-there soda flavors like black pepper and
PB&J.
UNIVERSITY
66 DINER
1405 Central SE, 247-1421 • $
[Diner] Step back in time for old-fashioned diner
food, jukebox oldies and an atmosphere with a New
Mexican twist (incarnate in the hot-and-spicy Frito
Pie). The real stars in this place, though, are the
awesome frozen desserts. They run the gamut from
mammoth banana splits to 1.99-cent teeny-weeny
hot fudge sundaes. The milkshakes come in almost
any flavor combination you can think of and are some
of the creamiest, most lip-smacking concoctions
around. Voted Best Milkshakes for 2013.
THE COPPER LOUNGE
1504 Central SE, 242-7490 • $
[Bar and Grill/Pub] The rambly old building has
plenty of dark corners to hide in as you make your
way through the extensive beer menu and, if the
weather’s nice, an inviting patio area to scarf down a
brick-oven cooked pizza in the fresh spring breeze.
1441 Eubank NE, 299-4141 • $
[French] The baguettes at this little Northeast
Heights storefront and café are phenomenal—many of
the city’s best restaurants use Le Paris as their house
bread. Not familiar with French food? The friendly staff
will happily steer you in the direction of one of the
light breakfast and lunch offerings. Don’t skip
anything involving chocolate.
YELLER SUB
7200 Montgomery NE, 888-9784 • $
[Deli/Sandwiches] Yeller Sub is the place for great
subs like meatball, steak and egg, sliced top-round
roast beef or a steak and grilled onion that isn’t quite
downtown Philly quality, but it’s not bad. There’s a
soda fountain where they can whip you up a mean
milkshake for about five bucks, and for seven, a
banana split big enough to send even the most
hardcore sugar junkie into a coma. They cater, they
deliver, they bake their own rolls, and they’ve got
excellent, friendly service at the counter no matter
what time of the day or night you wander in looking
for a meat fix.
KAI’S CHINESE RESTAURANT
138 Harvard SE, 266-8388 • $
[Chinese] So many reasons why we love Kai’s: It’s
cheap even by cheapskate standards. The service is
friendly, and the food comes out in a flash. It’s close
to the university, and there’s parking in the back. If
you’re bored, you can either look at the pictures of
kung fu heroes all over the walls or check out the
action in the open kitchen. If you’ve got $10 and an
empty stomach, Kai’s will take care of you.
OLYMPIA CAFÉ
2210 Central SE, 266-5222 • $
[Greek/Mediterranean] Voted Best Greek in our
Best of Burque Restaurants poll time and time again,
Olympia is a good old Greek diner with tasty comfort
food: delicious gyros, souvlaki, pita, spanakopita and
roasted potatoes. Vegetarian options are plentiful and
cheap, but if that’s not your bag, $15 will buy you a
leg of lamb with salad, potatoes and bread.
SAHARA MIDDLE EASTERN EATERY
OLD TOWN
PRISMATIC COFFEE
1761 Bellamah NW, 5054002470
[Coffee/Tea/Espresso] This new Third Wave coffee
shop isn’t messing around. The space is beautiful, the
staff is friendly, the sweets are scrumptious and most
importantly, the coffee is delicious.
2622 Central SE, Suite A, 255-5400 • $
[Middle Eastern] Sahara’s menu is straightforward,
listing expected meats and purées and several
vegetarian dishes. Meats come either in a sandwich
or combo platter, which are loaded with enough sides
to appease the most voracious appetites. The falafel
totally rocks the casbah, as do the chicken dishes,
the velvety hummus and the beautifully composed
salads. Don’t forget to get a nice, hot cup of spiceinfused tea.
SOUTHEAST
TÍA BETTY BLUE’S
1248 San Mateo SE, 268-1955 • $
[New Mexican] Tía B’s baked, canoe-shaped waffles
are made with organic New Mexico blue corn and
come two ways: sweet (fruit-filled and topped with a
choice of flavored whipped creams, including
lavender) or savory (stuffed with eggs, chile and
cheese). The posole is thick with hefty pork chunks
with shards of red chile pods, and the Chimayó red
sauce is hot enough to humiliate out-of-towners. The
many sandwich options—including a New Mexico po’
boy (carne adovada, pickled jalapeños and Fritos)
and a vegan sammy (homemade hummus and
fantastic grilled asparagus)—can be served as a salad
UPPER NOB HILL
ORCHID THAI CUISINE
4300 Central SE, 265-4047 • $$
[Thai] The Orchid has a fantastic atmosphere.
Elaborate murals line the walls, and the dim interior is
punctuated by pools of light just where you need
them—on the tables. The service can be weak, but the
enormous menu has something delicious for
everyone. From basic pad Thai to much more exotic
fare, the Orchid is one of the tastiest flowers in
Albuquerque’s blossoming garden of Thai restaurants.
Voted Burque’s Best Thai for 2014.
KEY: $ = Inexpensive $8 or less | $$ = Moderate $8 to $15 | $$$ = Expensive $15 to $20 | $$$$ = Very Expensive $20 and up
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[25]
Fri., 4•15
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3403 Central NE 10701 Corrales Rd. NW 11225 Montgomery NE
266-7855
899-7500
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321 W. San Francisco
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[26]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best Of Burque | LIfe IN Burque
BOB:
Life in
Burque
BY JOSHUA LEE & MEGAN RENEAU
best way for the city to spend their dollars. People
obviously want their public transportation.
2) Helping the homeless
3) ABQ BioPark
Best Waste Of CIty MONey
Albuquerque Rapid Transit (ART)
Despite the support of the rapid transit plan
amongst millennials—with its promises of urban
renewal, economic improvement and cultural
development—our voters still thought ART was
the worst way for the city to spend their dollars.
People obviously don’t want public transportation.
2) APD Shooting Lawsuits
Best CIty pOLItICIaN tO Get
a pat ON the BaCk
Best LOCaL athLete
Mayor Berry
Holly Holm
With all the changes coming down the pipe for
Downtown this year, it’s pretty obvious the mayor
is working all the angles to leave his mark. ART is
(most likely) going to go down, and upgrades on
the plaza and the One Central Entertainment
District plan should start this year. ABQ is ready
for change, and they’ve let Berry know it with this
hearty slap on the back.
2) Pat Davis
Holly Holm did the unthinkable last November
when she took down then-undefeated women’s
bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey with a
vicious kick to the head—and that was after being
the second person to ever push a Rousey fight
past the first round—placing her squarely in the
Badass Zone. After ABQ declared November
“Holly Holm Month,” it’s no surprise she took the
title for Best Athlete.
3) Isaac Benton
2) Carlos Condit
3) Elijah Brown
Best CIty pOLItICIaN tO Get
a puNCh IN the NOse
Best of
Burque 2016
BY RENEE CHAVEZ
Tom Joles
Just after enjoying all the heart-warming approval,
the mayor is immediately knocked into orbit by the
results of our next question. Why does Berry get a
pat on the back and a knock to the noggin?
Probably for such dumb stunts as vetoing the
decriminalization of pot, ignoring residents’
concerns over the Bosque trail and not bothering
to show up at any ART meetings.
In 28 years Tom Joles has seen mayors and
governors come and go, watched scandals rise
and fall, and seen the city become what it is
today—all from the anchorperson’s chair at KOBTV. When it comes to our nightly news, you can’t
substitute for decades of experience and hard
work.
2) Marisa Maez
2) Susana Martinez
3) Doug Fernanadez/Jessica Garate
3) Isaac Benton
Best CItyWIde/stateWIde
sCaNdaL
Susana Martinez Pizza Party
braham Lincoln once said, “The ballot is stronger than the
bullet.” While we seriously doubt he was referring to the
election of Albuquerque’s Best Parking Lot to Make You Lose
All Faith in Humanity, Best Uber Driver, or Best Gay Bar, the
essence of his sage words still rings true. The Alibi’s “Best of
Burque” was created so you, dear readers, don’t have to fight over
or guess who are the royalty of this great, dusty city.
Congratulations to the winners, sympathies to the losers, and a
massive thank you to our readers who showed up online in
record-breaking numbers this year to share their opinions about
who the best really are. The votes have been cast, the people
have spoken. So without further ado, we give you the best that
Albuquerque has to offer in the categories of arts, services, goods,
kids, pets, night life, music, local flavor and life in Burque. a
A
Best tV NeWs aNChOr
Mayor Berry
Under Martinez’ watch, N.M. became the worstrated state for child poverty. An FBI investigation
into one of her top advisers regarding campaign
finance activities shriveled. But what scandal are
we most interested in? Our governor pulling the
“Do you know who I am?” line during a rowdy,
drunken pizza party.
2) Diana Duran Embezzlement
3) APD Shooting
Best tV WeatherpersON
Mark Ronchetti
With a shredded physique and lantern jaw, how
could you not trust mild-mannered meteorologist
Mark Ronchetti of KRQE News 13? We don’t even
blame him when we get freak hail or dust storms.
It is a little strange that he and Superman are
never in the same room, though. But Superman
doesn’t wear glasses, so it’s probably nothing.
2) Steve Stucker
3) Joe Diaz
Best radIO statION
89.9 KUNM
Best use Of CIty MONey
Albuquerque Rapid Transit (ART)
Despite the loudly vocal hatred of the rapid transit
plan—with its negative impact on local businesses,
expensive infrastructural changes and traffic
disruptions—our voters still thought ART was the
That’s right, Middle America, you can keep your
rocky rolls and your hippie hops. Here in Burque,
we like our radio smart, informative and delivered
in a smooth, even tone—with breaks for jazz and
world music, of course. It probably won’t make
Life in Burque continues on page 28
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[27]
Best of BUrqUe | life in BUrqUe
Life in Burque continued from page 27
your trunk bump, but you will get to hear half a
story about a French yarn artist before you get to
work.
2) 100.3 The Peak
3) 104.1 The Edge
Best Place to hike
Sandia Embudito Trail
Our wide open skies, beautiful landscapes and
incredible biodiversity make ABQ the perfect
place for anyone who loves escaping to the great
outdoors. But of all the amazing hiking spots in
town, the Sandia Embudito Trail is our favorite.
At nearly nine and a half miles, the incredible
views of the western slopes of the mountains
make this somewhat difficult hike well worth the
effort.
2) La Luz Trail
3) The Bosque
Best Bike trail
Paseo del Bosque
Best annUal charity
event
Doggie Dash and Dawdle
Every year thousands of people and dogs run to
the Balloon Fiesta Park to take part in a day of
pooch-themed fun. Whether it’s to help raise
funds and awareness for the Humane Society, or
just as an excuse to hang out in the sun and
watch ABQ’s best friends having a ball, the Dash
and Dawdle is our favorite way to give back.
2) Chocolate Fantasy
3) Souper Bowl
Best reason to stay in
alBUqUerqUe
Weather
We’ve got the perfect spot for weather. Sunny
summers that won’t leave you a melty puddle,
snowy winters that (usually) don’t strand you at
home and just enough rain to keep us on our toes
and make sure we don’t turn into any of those
whiny West Coasters. Why would anyone want to
leave?
2) Food
3) Natural Beauty
Biking in an urban area can be fraught with peril
and ugly sights. That’s why our favorite place to
take a ride is the Paseo del Bosque trail: 16 miles
of uninterrupted cycling fun through a natural
setting that’s somehow hiding in the middle of
the city. There’s nothing better than following
the river on a sunny day with the wind in your
hair.
2) Santa Fe Trail
Best Place to PeoPle
Watch
Nob Hill
Yippies, dippies and yoga-enthusiasts. Oh my!
Nob Hill brings us more than its fair share of
goofballs and bohemians, allowing us to observe
them in their natural habitat. Just wear your
drabbest earth tones, post up at one of the
shops, and try to look inconspicuous. Don’t
worry. Everyone will be too busy trying to get
attention to notice you.
Best Place to take
GrandParents
wonder this is our voter’s fave spot to say their “I
do’s.”
2) Botanical Gardens
Best Place to take an
ashley Madison date
Knockouts/Imbibe/Holiday Inn
Need a dark place to take your Sancho or
Sanchita where no one knows your name?
Well we’ve got a three-way tie for best spot
to bring a home-wrecker, meaning you have
options (which you obviously feel you need).
One’s a strip club, one’s an alcoholic feeding
trough and one’s a cheap motel. Take your pick,
pig. Don’t forget the fake moustache.
Best Place for a BreakUP
Frontier/Flying Star
Let’s hope that all those firearms on the
walls at Frontier restaurant are just for
show, because it tied with Flying Star
Cafe for the place to dump your ball-andchain. Maybe it’s the promise of a
crowded dining room or easy access to
the front door, but whatever the reason,
these two spots should probably think
of installing tissue dispensers at all the
tables. Break ups are sad.
2) Sandia Crest/Whole Foods
ABQ BioPark
All geriatric jokes aside, who doesn’t frigging love
the BioPark? You can spend the whole day
meandering around the botanical gardens alone.
The zoo and aquarium are just whipped cream on
the Jello mold. But if Grammy’s in town, you’ll be
glad to know that moments of heart-threatening
excitement are rare, and they have room for
wheelchairs.
Best Golf coUrse
Sandia Colf Club
2) Old Town
Fore! Sandia Casino has had a golf course for
over a decade now and it’s still going strong.
It’s no mystery why: the incredible views, huge
course, wonderful people, not to mention the
quality of this resort is incredible. This is the
perfect place to spend your lunch or Sunday
afternoon.
3) Sandia Tram
2) Paako Ridge Golf Club
Best Place to take a first
date
Sandia Crest
3) Arroyo Del Oso Golf Course
Best Park
Roosevelt Park
There’s nothing more romantic than a panoramic
view at 10,000 feet above sea level. And
amazing scenery isn’t the only thing the Crest has
to offer. Biologists have learned that a
heightened heart rate will generate amorous
feelings for those around you, and since high
altitudes have a clear affect on heart rate, this is
literally the best place you can take a first date.
It’s science.
Transients that masturbate in this park don’t
put off our readers! The rolling hills, the shade
of the lofty cottonwood trees and the disc golf
make this spot a prime destination for
relaxing afternoons. Grab a blanket and a
book and hang out, someone will definitely
ask you to play Frisbee there.
Costco
2) Old Town
3) Tigeux Park
Our voters obviously didn’t think this one
through. Sure, Costco seems like a great place to
hole up during the zombie apocalypse. Barrels of
processed cheese. All the booze you can drink.
Bulk cocktail umbrellas. But those fascists are
serious about checking for membership, and if
you really think they’ll suddenly relax their policy
just because there’s an undead horde outside,
you’ve got another think coming.
3) Pop Fizz
2) Frontier Restaurant/Downtown
3) Sunport/Old Town
Best local Place to
sUrvive the ZoMBie
aPocalyPse
2) UNM/Frontier Restaurant
3) Calibers
[28]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
2) Hyder Park
Best Pool
Best Place to Get Married
Los Poblanos
Los Poblanos has 25 acres of romantic gardens
and cottonwoods to get lost in with your shiny
new spouse. The historic site was designed by
the “father of Santa Fe style,” John Gaw Meem,
boasting 20 guest rooms, an organic farm and
massive open spaces to host the fam. It’s no
West Mesa Aquatic Center
Water is a rarity in this state and quality
pools even more so. This pool has
everything your lil hearts desire: slides,
water toys, lap pools, diving boards,
classes and an Olympic-sized pool
ILLO BY ROB M
Life in Burque continues on page 31
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
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WEEKLY ALIBI
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Best oF Burque | liFe in Burque
Life in Burque continued from page 28
(with seating for over 800 people). What more
could a high desert city need?
2) Rio Grande Pool
3) Sandia Resort and Casino
Best outdoor spaCe
The Bosque
A nice walk through the cottonwoods is how many
Burqueños like to celebrate the end of their work
day. Along the 16-mile Paseo del Bosque Trail
you’ll run into families, cyclists, runners,
equestrians and in-line skaters all looking for a
little escape. You can also see local art at different
points along this trail and lots of wildlife.
2) ABQ BioPark
3) Sandia Mountains
Best plaCe to take Your
MoM
St. James Tearoom
The best place to get Mom out of her normal busy
routine and give her the treat she deserves is at
the St. James Tearoom. She’ll finally be able to
relax and appreciate the hard work she had to do
with teaching you manners growing up. I mean, we
all know you’re still a gross monster but you can
pretend for an hour or two, right? Go there to
enjoy the rotating menu and excellent hospitality
of these wonderful folks for an afternoon.
to see it. Average civilians can see it on rare
occasions. If you do want to see it, you need to
drink a bottle of Silvercoin tequila, eat an Abuela’s
tamale (any Abuela and any kind of tamale), spin
in a circle with your arm pointed out straight (if
you’ve fallen over at this point, just pack up and go
home because you failed), and walk from Girard to
Washington along Central and back (if you fall on
your walk, that’s fine). At some point on this
journey you’ll see the Nob Hill bus stop sign that
the rest of our exceptional readers are so fond of.
2) Dog House Drive In
3) Route 66
Best Cheap thrills
Hinkle Family Fun Center
The screaming kiddos don’t concern us. The
ringing of non-gambling machines call one and all
like sirens call sailors on the sea. After you spend
most of your money, you can take your aggression
out on the putt-putt or laser tag course.
Best parking lot to Make
You lose all Faith in
huManitY
breakfast tacos
“GRAB-N-GO”
OR CUSTOM MADE
THANKS FOR NAMING US
albuquerque’s
albuquerq
lb
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bar-b-q
best
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AGAIN & AGAIN
N
Walmart (any)
It’s the middle of the night and you need some ice
cream, stat! You know where to go; you don’t want
to, but you know. Don’t let the fashion, angry
couples, thoughts of hatchets just hanging in the
aisles just on the other side of those doors, or
even those pesky stabbings scare you away. You’ll
probably be fine.
catering mandatory! 301-7453 - rudys.com
10136 COORS NW - 505-890-7113 & 2321 CARLISLE NE - 505-884-4000
2) Old Town
2) Trader Joe’s (especially Uptown)
3) ABQ BioPark
3) Ghetto Smith’s
Best road to ConFuse outoF-toWn drivers
Lomas
For us Burqueños, Lomas is allllll easy. But we
guess the out-of-towners don’t understand it,
huh? We think aside from the interstate crossover,
combination with Central, the bike-crossing
stoplights, going by the Fairgrounds, the lane
changes and meeting multiple five-way lights, it’s
perfectly fine.
2) Coors/Paseo Del Norte/Indian
School
Best plaCe to spend a Wad
oF singles
Best plaCe to read a
CoMplete novel While
Waiting in line
MVD
Whenever we find ourselves waiting at the MVD,
we remember the afterlife waiting room scene in
Beetlejuice. Spend an hour creating a story for
how each person will die or read a book, it’s up to
you. Like they say in the film, “It’s all very personal.
And I’ll tell you something: If I knew then what I
know now ... I wouldn’t have had my little
accident.”
2) Walmart
3) Post Office
TD’s Showclub
The description listed on the TD’s website says it’s
an upscale, up-tempo atmosphere. We can’t say
for sure ourselves, butt there’s something our
readers find rather titillating about this joint.
Whether it’s the regular late hours, divorce parties,
food and liquor, or the semi-clothed ladies, for
better or worse, it’s an unforgettable experience.
2) Knockouts
3) Sandia Resort and Casino
Best neon sign
Best plaCe to Find peaCe oF
Mind
Sandia Mountains
Albert Einstein once said, “Look deep into nature,
and then you will understand everything better.”
When Burqueños are lost or upset, we often look
to the Sandias for solace. It could be a walk in the
cold, high desert foothills during winter, a bike ride
through the lush forest during summer, a ride up
the tram or the many, many other things you can
do on our beautiful mountains. Whatever it is,
you’ll certainly find peace just east of our city.
Nob Hill Bus Stop
2) Bosque
This sign got the most votes this year. You seen it?
Probably not, fuckin’ nerd. Only special people get
3) ABQ BioPark a
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[31]
Best of Burque | nigHt life
BoB: night life
BY AUGUST MARCH & DEVIN O’LEARY
Best Bar staff
Anodyne
The best staff is at Anodyne, according to Alibi
readers. Theirs is a mellow vibe resulting from
exposure to an array of awesome pool tables,
potted plants, bizarre books, a jukebox that slays
and good booze. A supportive client base also
helps, apparently.
2) Tractor Brewing Company
prominence in Burque in the early nineties. The
spirit of that intense experimentalism and bagel
production still echoes through the cavernously
elegant bar. It’s kinda weird yet comforting how
there aren’t any windows down there.
2) Hotel Andaluz/Apothecary Lounge
at Parq Central/Artichoke Cafe
Best Bar to sHoot pool
Anodyne
3) O’Niell’s
Best Happy Hour
Savoy/Zacateca’s/5 Star Burger
Whether you’re in Old Town, Nob Hill or even out
in Taos or Santa Fe, you won’t have to pay full
price to get your drink on. Taste the $1 raw oysters
at Zacateca’s everyday between 4-6pm or grab a
local beer at 5 Star for $2 less and pair it with a
BBX pork slider for $1.65. Swanky more you
style? Try the delightful cocktails at Savoy seven
days a week from 3-6pm, or stay for the extra
happy hour on Friday from 9-10pm.
The Anoydne is an anodyne. They have the most
amazing set of pool tables, regulation style, done
in dark red. There’re comfortable seating
arrangements and excellent service surrounding
those mechanisms of pure joy, luck and skill. What
more can you ask for,? The rates are reasonable,
the equipment ace. Give it a shot, the surroundings
are relaxing, the action fine.
2) Downtown Distillery/Billiard
Palace
Best place to Meet singles
No Clear Winner
Best Dive Bar
Cararro’s Pizza/Joe’s Place
Cararro’s Pizza/Joe’s Place was the go-to bar for
fun, food and hookups 20 years ago and today it
retains the same louche ambience. The pizza’s still
decent and there’re a variety of tevees (usually
tuned into sports shows) available if socializing
ain’t your thing. Filled with a variety of settings
separated by twisty passages, at least two
locations where liquor may be procured, and a
collection of sloshy humans worthy of study and
assimilation, Cararro’s Pizza/Joe’s Place is a
classic Burque weekend destination. Write us a
letter here and tell us if the grumpy dude in the
Cubs hat is still tending bar.
2) Anodyne
3) Burt’s Tiki Lounge/Low Spirits
Best rooftop Bar
Apothecary Lounge
Mixing heights and party-time seem out of the
question to some, but Alibi readers dig the
experience. Follow the intentions of Alibi readers
who choose the Apothecary Lounge atop Hotel
Parq Central as their number one rooftop
destination. Once you get up there, into the aether
of the eighth or ninth story, it’s really something.
2) Hotel Andaluz/Effex Night Club
Best swanky Bar
Zinc Cellar Bar
The Zinc Cellar Bar, winner in the Best Swanky Bar
category, is in the basement of a building that
contained, among other things, a vibrant bread
and kindness based subculture that rose to
There was no clear winner in this category but it’s
fair to say that all of Earth qualifies. One just has
to keep one’s eyes open. Other humans are all
around.
Best patio for Day
Drinking
ILLO BY TAMARA SUTTON
Marble Brewery
It’s a good thing to know where one can go to
tipple a few while the sun’s bright and the day
seems to be drifting by in slow motion. Alibi
readers chose Marble Brewery as their first stop
on a daytime bender with patio overtones. Plus
the joint features an “eminently quaffable IPA,”
just the thing to while the hours away as work
deadlines loom and then just seem to dissipate
from the hop-scented air like so many bronzecolored butterflies. You get the picture.
Best gay Bar
Best country Bar
Efffex Night Club
Dirty Bourbon Dance Hall & Saloon
2) Gecko’s Bar and Tapas (Nob Hill)
Albuquerque sports a number of gay bars, but
truth be told, as gender barriers come down and
equality for all becomes the order of the day
across America and in Burque, the traditional gay
bar—as well as prejudice and bigotry—may be
going the way of the horse and buggy. But until
then Effex is the place to get your gay on in these
parts. It’s Downtown, it’s fabulous.
3) Kelly’s Brew Pub
2) Sidewinders
If two-stepping, boot-scooting and jamming to the
sly sounds of electrified jugs, lap-steel guitars and
plaintive vocalizations focused on tragedy,
redemption and having a good time with cans of
beer, are your ideas of a grand old time then follow
the advice of Alibi readers who chose the Dirty
Bourbon Dance Hall & Saloon as the premier
Country Bar this side of Cedar Crest. With a live
music and dancing Thursday through Saturday, a
good night is just a few bitter tears away.
Best place for eDM
Effex
Effex has succeeded in bringing electronic dance
music to Albuquerque in amounts and levels of
intensity practically unheard of in previous years;
there’s no doubt why Alibi readers and voters
named the sizzling rave-up going on over there as
thebBest place to get down to the sound of EDM.
If you need particulars consider the following:
Effex brought stunning up-and-comers like
Electric Daisy Festival Project winners Baewatch
to town; they also feature local talent, as in Chris
de Jesus and Connie Blyde.
2) El Rey Theater
3) Albuquerque Social Club
Best rock Bar
Launchpad
Launchpad, the winner of this year’s best live
concert venue award, also slays in the Best Rock
Bar Category. As noted in the music section of
BOB: From legends like Meat Puppets and
Stereolab to local luminaries like Leeches of Lore
and Cryogenik, Launchpad is indeed the preferred
method of Burqueños reaching out to the heavens
for love, light and loud tuneage.
2) Sister
2) Sidewinders/Caravan East
Best sports Bar
The Uptown Sports Bar
The Uptown Sports Bar, conveniently located near
the freeway as well as Coronado Shopping Mall
and the always fascinating ABQ Uptown shopping
complex, has been chosen as the best sports bar
in Albuquerque. With a menu of delicious bar food,
huge teevees beaming in the latest from the world
of sports (with an emphasis on football and
basketball), and a staff of professionally
courteous servers who are interested in the same
3) Low Spirits
Night Life continues on page 35
[32]
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APRIL 7-13, 2016
[33]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
[34]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best of Burque | night life
Night Life continued from page 32
games you are. sports fans are sure to enjoy this
homerun hotspot.
2)The Library Bar & Grill/Spectators
Pub & Grill
Casa Rondeña offers more than just an impressive
selection of hand-crafted local wines (from
Viognier to Cabernet Franc to Rosé). The winery,
built like a massive Tuscan villa, hosts tastings,
picnics, weddings and is home to the exclusive,
members-only 1629 Club.
2) Luna Rossa Winery
Best underground
concert Venue
Launchpad
Launchpad just can’t get enough love from Alibi
readers. The winner of three custom-made BOB
first place placards this year, Launchpad is where
we saw the Melvins play early last week—and they
fucking jammed. we bet if you asked Buzzo, he’d
say they were an underground band, comparatively
speaking. So it follows that Launchpad is the
number one underground concert venue in the
Duke City. That easy. And it rocks!
3) St. Clair Winery & Bistro
Best local Wine
Gruet Blanc de Noir
What’s Blanc de Noir, you ask? “Pale salmon in
color, this full-bodied wine has a fine mousse and a
creamy, rich texture”—That’s according to Gruet,
the long-standing (since 1984) New Mexicobased winery that specializes in “Methode
Champenoise” sparkling wines—such as Blanc de
Noir. Sounds delicious to us. And to our readers as
well.
2) Gold House
Best BreWery
Best cocktails
Apothecary Lounge
The rooftop bar at Parq Central is certainly one of
the most picturesque places in our city to imbibe
(particularly during a lovely spring sunset). But
Apothecary Lounge’s rotating menu of seasonal
cocktails (from the classic Prohibition-era Pink
Lady to the house-infused chai rum-based Raj
Sandanista) are mixed with an incredible selection
of specialty bitters (from grapefruit to Aztec
chocolate) giving them an edge on the
competition.
2) Artichoke Cafe
Marble Brewery
Located conveniently (and rather expectedly) on
Marble right near Downtown, this neighborhood
hangout has become a serious institution, hosting
bands, art shows and an endless parade of food
trucks. The beers (from the hoppy but quite
drinkable Double IPA to the spice-tinged White
Out to the robust Imperial Red) are best downed
on the brewery’s large patio among a raucous
crowd of people and dogs on a hot summer
afternoon.
2) La Cumbre Brewing Co.
3) Bosque Brewing Co.
3) Nob Hill Bar and Grill
Best local cider
Best margarita
Sadie’s of New Mexico
Whether you favor the Presidential Margarita
(Sauza Tres Generaciones tequila and Presidente
brandy) or the Midori Margarita (with a splash of
Midori Melon Liqueur), Sadie’s is the perennial
winner in this category. Down one or two while
you eat your complimentary tostadas and salsa
and wait hungrily for your shredded beef brisket
enchiladas.
2) El Pinto Restaurant
Tractor Brewing Company
Tractor’s two local locations (Nob Hill and Wells
Park) have an impressive selection of classic (Sod
Buster Pale Ale) and seasonal beers (Goathead
Hador Doppelbock). But it’s the Brewery’s hard
cider that excites Alibi readers. It’s a seasonal
brew that comes in various apple and berry
varieties, but we should warn you it’s typically only
available in fall/winter—so get moving!
2) Red Door Brewing Company
3) Boxing Bear Brewing Co,
3) Zacatecas Tacos & Tequila
Best BreWmaster
Best Wine Bar
Zinc Wine Bar & Bistro
Well, it’s right there in the name. We may not know
a Segur Viudas Cava Brut from a Vietti Moscato
d’Asti, but many of our readers do—and the folks
at Zinc certainly do. Throw in some great food, lots
of live music and a whole other bar (the Cellar Bar)
in the basement, and you’ve got a one-stop shop
for vino lovers.
Wayne Martinez
Wayne Martinez, co-founder and head brewer of
Red Door Brewing, has one of the largest
breweries in town—an 11,000 square-foot space
on Candelaria. He’s also got some serious arms on
him, so there’s no way we’re going to argue his
position as Albuquerque’s favorite brewmaster.
Stop by some time and taste-test his Unhinged
Cider, his Vanilla Cream Ale or his Bad Moon
Ryesing Black RyePA.
2) St. Clair Winery &Bistro
2) Justin Hamilton
3) Slate Street Cafe/Artichoke Cafe
Best neW mexico Winery
3) Brady McKeown/Ted Rice/John
Bullard
Casa Rodeña Winery
Night Life continues on page 36
Located in lovely Los Ranchos de Albuquerque,
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[35]
Best of Burque | night life
Night Life continued from page 35
Best new Mexico-Brewed
Beer
La Cumbre Elevated IPA
Beer Advocate has this American-style India Pale
Ale (100 IBUs and counting!) rated as a 96 out of
100. Hoppy, honey-colored and loaded with a pine
resin punch, it appears to be the bitter beer
Albuquerque craves. You can get it on tap at La
Cumbre Brewing Co. (among other places), or in
cans at your neighborhood liquor dispensary.
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2) Marble Red
3) Marble IPA
Sunday and 2am Monday through Saturday.
That’s a whole lot of drunken warbling.
2) Louie’s Pub & Grill
Best strip cluB
TD’s
TD’s North Showclub and TD’s Eubank (our
readers did not specify which was preferable) are
the best in town when it comes to taking it all off.
If you’re looking for a high-quality erotic lap dance
in the Duke City, TD’s is the place. Lunch is free on
Fridays and there’s often some out-of-town
touring talent to add to the roster of local gals
working their way through college.
2) Knockouts
Best new Mexico-distilled
spirit
Left Turn Distillery Old Tom Gin
Back in 2013 Brian Langwell decided to live his
dream and turned the machine shop he ran in the
Duke City industrial irea into a craft distillery. Why
not? His company’s Old Tom Gin is based on a
recipe popular in 18th-century England. It’s
sweeter than London dry gin, making it an
increasingly popular ingredient in today’s fancier
cocktails—which may be why the distillate has
floated to the top of this year’s poll.
2) Distillery 365 Holy Ghost Vodka
3) Taos Lightning
Best waitstaff
Scalo Northern Italian Grill
The long-serving Italian restaurant in Nob Hill
features fine food, a busy bar and weekly “Wine
and Dine Social Outings.” It’s also, according to
our readers, got the most professional waitstaff.
Not only are the men and women who work there
fast, courteous and knowledgable, but they wear
nifty bow ties. Be sure to tip generously, people.
2) Artichoke Cafe/Rio Bravo Brewing
Co.
Best Bar for dancing
Effex Night Club
Downtown Albuquerque’s lively, go-go dancerenhanced gay nightclub is clearly the best place to
get your groove on. The sprawling, tri-level
building features several bars and several
dancefloors on which to gyrate to the sounds of
various EDM-dispensing DJs. The crowd has
shifted from exclusively gay to something
approaching an even mix of LGBT and
heterosexual/cisgender these days. But no matter
who they’re dancing with, everybody’s here for the
thumping beats.
3) Fantasy World
Best hotel Bar
Apothecary Lounge
If it’s got the best cocktails in town, it stands to
reason that Apothecary is also the best hotel bar
in town. Hey, if you’re too buzzed on Moscow
Mules to drive home, you can always rent a room.
2) Hotel Andaluz
3) Q Bar (Hotel Albuquerque)
Best college Bar
Monte Vista Fire Station Restaurant &
Bar
The Monte Vista Fire Station has gone through
more changes than the UNM coaching staff. And
yet it remains one of the favorites of the letterman
crowd. Bar food, drink specials, loud bands and a
rowdy crowd make for the perfect environment for
blowing off steam, post-midterm. Just watch
those stairs on your way out!
2) Carrarro’s Pizza & Joe’s Place
3) Brickyard Pizza
Best place for a threeMartini lunch
Scalo Northern Italian Grill
Walk right past the fancy restaurant if you must.
No need for Fussilli Bolognese today. There’s a
popular and professional bar full of bow tiewearing waitstaff right in the back of Scalo. It’s
also got a open air outdoor patio—so if you want
to consume that three-Martini lunch al fresco, you
can. … But seriously, order some antipasto to go
with those Martinis. Some marinated olives. A nice
buschetta, at least.
2) Seasons Rotisserie & Grill
3) Hotel Andaluz
a
2) Dirty Bourbon Dance Hall & Saloon
3) Sister
Best KaraoKe
Spunky’s Place Karaoke Lounge
Located inside the venerable Silva Lanes bowling
alley, this retro-tastic karaoke bar has got what
you need—whether you want to sing along to
ABBA or Beyoncé. Plus, it’s open till midnight on
[36]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Check out who won
HOTTEST
BARTENDER
and more online
at alibi.com
W E E K LY B U S I N E S S P R O F I L E • PA I D A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Douglas Gibbons,
Type of Business
Aesthetic Restorative Dentistry
Year Established
1984
Business Address
How did you get started in this
business?
I went to college in California with the
dream of becoming a marine biologist, until I
found out I didn’t actually like the ocean! A
friend in my study group planned to be a dentist,
so I went to San Francisco and met his dentist
friends, who were all extremely nice and felt
fulfilled in their careers. That’s where I
discovered my true calling. I put my science
education to use in the dental field and never
looked back.
How long have you been practicing as a
dentist?
I’ve been practicing for 32 years and have
enjoyed every year of it! I’m a people person who
enjoys conversation and building trust with my
patients. It’s a great feeling to alleviate people’s
fears about dentistry.
What’s your business philosophy?
I always treat my patients the way I’d want
to be treated. I am sure to educate them, so they
understand the pitfalls of no treatment, or bad
treatment, and I make sure, if they need it, that
they are sent to the right specialists for certain
procedures.
Why did you choose to do business in
Albuquerque?
D.D.S., P.C.
1101 Medical Arts Ave NE, Bldg 1
Business Phone
505-842-0808
Business Email
[email protected]
I’m from here! I love the weather, the
people and playing golf. I lived in rainy Seattle
for a while, Nebraska (where I went to school)
was too cold for me, so I knew I had to plant
roots back in the Land of Enchantment! The
opportunities to get started here were perfect, and
that’s led to years of happy practicing.
What is your company’s strongest
asset?
I have a tremendously empathetic staff who
is reliable and works extremely hard. The same
staff has worked here since the early 2000s, so we
make a great team that can give patients the best
treatment possible.
What do you offer that the competition
doesn’t?
My good injection technique really helps
me stand out. I also have a personality that allows
me to connect with patients to offer them
complete transparency when it comes to
procedures and costs, which not every dentist
chooses to provide.
How does it feel to have won 1st Place
for Best Dentist in our Best of Burque
contest?
Website
douglasgibbonsdds.com
It feels fabulous! I appreciate the honor and
see it as proof that we are doing something right
here to have won this award!
How do you maintain your competitive
edge?
In a field like dentistry, you have to stay
caught up with the latest changes in technology,
take classes and continually be active in the
community, so you can confidently offer what’s
best for your patients and protect them from
passing fads that are not in their best interests. I
do this no matter what, because the patients are
my true priority.
Favorite saying?
worked hard to instill proper values in them to
ensure that they make headway in life, treat
people with respect and become involved and
self-sufficient citizens.
Three passions outside of work?
I love bike riding, playing golf and enjoying
Albuquerque to the fullest. I’m all about the
environment, staying active, enjoying the
sunlight and most importantly, keeping the body
(the tabernacle of the soul) in shape. a
If it’s not broken, don’t fix it!
What inspires you?
My children are my biggest inspirations. I
want them to be the best they can be, and I’ve
APRIL7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[37]
Best of Burque | arts
BoB: arts
BY MEGAN RENEAU & COURTNEY FOSTER
Best PerforMing arts
grouP
Blackout Theatre Company
Daaaaamn Blackout! Back at it again with the
quality productions! Blackout Theatre
Company has been around has since 2007
and since written many original plays and
created an education program to help teach
literacy through the art of playwriting. Not to
mention, they’re the geniuses behind some
other winners.
Best art exhiBition
Miniatures & More
Hosted by the Albuquerque Museum, this tiny
exhibition has over 100 contributing artists.
2015 was the 25th year for this annual show
that provides necessary funding for the
museum and is beloved by all in Albuquerque.
2) 516 ARTS: HABITAT
Best (fine) art gallery
516 Arts
1) Tricklock Company
2) Mother Road Theatre Company
Best Musical
PerforMance
Nowhere Girls and the Big Night Inn
No, we aren’t corrupt: This winner is another
child of the Blackout Theatre Company, who
are very loved by our readers and all in
Burque. This original musical follows former
Detective Constance Powers who must prove
her innocence after the judge has been
murdered. The show ran almost a year ago
now, but no one could forget this moving
drama.
Not only showing phenomenal fine art, this
gallery also hosts workshops and events.
During the summer they have installations on
the sidewalk outside of the Downtown gallery,
which pedestrians can interact with as they
walk by. This space isn’t intimidating for
casual viewers, it’s inviting and the directors
are excited to have people from all walks of
life come and appreciate art as we know it in
Albuquerque.
2) Matrix Fine Art/Stranger
Factory
Best (affordaBle) art
gallery
1) Red Light Cameras
Weems Gallery/Stranger Factory
2) Book of Mormon
Weems is one of the best known galleries in
town that isn’t always necessarily known as a
gallery: They have a frame shop, a free
layaway service, snacks (which are obviously
the most important thing, right?), quality sales
and so much more.
As a member of the Circus Posterus family,
you can always expect the unexpected at
Stranger Factory. The art is weird, creepy and
absolutely lovely (if you’re into that kinda
thing like most or our readers seem to be, you
weirdos). Aside from their gallery they have a
gift shop full of goodies like toys, books,
masks and more.
Best Music and
PerforMing arts Venue
Popejoy Hall
A combination of a few different halls, it’s
unlikely that someone in town hasn’t heard of
this educational music venue that’s located on
University of New Mexico property. Musicals,
plays and music groups perform in there.
1) Launchpad
2) National Hispanic Cultural
Center
Best theater sPace
ILLO BY ROB M
2) Mariposa Gallery
Best Mural
Best MuseuM
Albuquerque Museum of Art and
History
KiMo Theatre
Astro-Zombies
This incredible theater is one of
Albuquerque’s most well known landmarks
because of the architectural Art Deco-Pueblo
Revival style and the many, many events that
it hosts: everything from town halls to films to
musicals and plays, you can see everything
here … Maybe even a ghost or two.
Albuquerque has some of the raddest street
art and murals around but the superhero
mural on the side of the Astro-Zombies
building is by far the coolest. This massive mix
of iconic characters is vibrant, creative and
fun to look at. Every time we see it we find
something new to appreciate. It’s no surprise
the Alibi’s readers have chosen this mural as
their favorite—it’s easily ours.
You have spoken! And the Albuquerque
Museum of Art and History has been named
the best place to get your culture on. With its
“Only in Albuquerque” history gallery and the
ever changing exhibits, this is the perfect
place to spend a thoughtful afternoon.
2) Humble Coffee/Artisan Santa Fe
3) Explora
1) Popejoy Hall
2) N.M. Museum of Natural History
and Science
Best Visual artist
Rudy Lopez
While our little slice of dirt is full of artists and
creative types, Gallup born tattoo artist, Rudy
Lopez, easily takes the cake for Best Visual
Artist this year. Rudy is a master at realistic
black and gray tattoos and is currently slingin’
ink out of Tinta Cantina (3902 Central SE)
while oil painting and sketching in his free
time.
2) Box Performance Space
[38]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Arts continues on page 41
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APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[39]
[40]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best of Burque | arts
Arts continued from page 38
Best JeweLry artist
and boudoir shoots (not at the same time, of
course), the Hartsocks bring an interesting
narrative and perspective to each photo.
2) Jeremy Salazar
Lilly Barrack
Jewelry in the 505 has evolved from
stereotypical bolo ties and turquoise to a
more interesting, individual type of look.
Thanks to Lilly Barrack, we’ve embraced the
weird asymmetrical beauty that’s helped put
our town on the fashion map. Lilly’s love for
gemstones and unique, thoughtful jewelry is
apparent in each piece she produces and it’s
obvious that our love for her artful technique
is as strong as ever.
2) Kristin Diener
3) Susan Skinner
Best LoCaL Poet
Hakim Bellamy
Poetry is one of those things where most
people only like it if they’re the ones who
wrote it. It’s normally so up for interpretation
that it can be a difficult art to take seriously—
or it’s taken way too seriously (you decide
which is worse). But (now) six time winner for
Best Local Poet, Hakim Bellamy (ABQ’s first
poet laureate) gives us something to be
inspired about, bringing our slam poetry scene
to the forefront alongside runner up, Carlos
Contreras.
2) Carlos Contreras
Best LoCaL author
3) Kim Jew
Best Comedy Venue
Box Performance Space and Improv
Theatre
Knock knock–Who’s there? Comedy—Comedy
who? We can find the answer to that question
and many more we never knew we had at The
Box Performance Space and Improv Theater
where this Downtown staple puts on weekly
hilarious improv shows like “Comedy Question
Mark” or “The Show”. If stand-up is more your
thing then head over to Back Alley Draft
House, our second place winner, every
Monday night to get your laugh on!
2) Back Alley Draft House
Best LoCaL Comedian
Rusty Rutherford
Not all comedians are assholes, and Rusty
Rutherford is a prime example of that. Well
known for his work with Youth Development
Inc., Rusty has been bringing smiles to ABQ
locals since he was just a wee annoying
teenager and has solidified himself as a
comedic favorite here and across the US with
his work through the Blackout Theatre
Company and appearances on NBC’s “Last
Comic Standing.”
2) Dan Rascon
Jason Witter
With the recent release of his new book, The
Tiniest Vampire (and other silly things), local
author, professor and all around cool dude
Jason Witter wins the hearts of our readers
and takes the title of Best Local Author. He
illustrated this new collection of children’s
poetry himself (so Shel Silverstein) and his
“hotness rating” on Rate My Professor is
through the roof! Honorable mention to
beloved author, Rudolfo Anaya, who holds a
solid second place.
2) Rudolfo Anaya
Best foLk artist
No Clear Winner
Honorable Mention: “Uh. Definitely Not Any
Of Those Goddamn Folk Punkers”
Best PhotograPher
The Hartsocks’ Photography
“We don’t take your picture, we tell your
story.” That’s the motto of husband and wife
team, Lindsay and Kyle Hartsock, who have
taken this year’s title of Best Photographer
with their startup company, Hartsocks’
Photography. Specializing in family portraits
Best arts eVent
Rio Grande Arts & Crafts Fair
The only thing Burqueños love more than chile
is our weird Southwestern art. For the past
28 years, the coolest place to see (or
showcase) neat artsy stuff has been at the
Rio Grande Arts & Crafts Festival, where you
can support artists, jewelers, weavers and
pottery makers.
2) Revolutions International
Theatre Festival
Best LoCaL theater
PerformanCe
Quarantine: Origins
Y’all like to be scared, huh? This interactive
haunted house has been so popular that last
season they sold out almost every show, and
they likely will again this year. Be sure to bring
some extra undies the next time you plan on
seeing them.
2) Nutcracker on the Rocks
3) All is Calm/The Show
a
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[41]
Best of Burque | music
BoB: music
BY AUGUST MARCH
Best cD/recorD store
Charley’s 33s and CDs
Charley’s 33s and CDs, one of a handful of record
shops in Dirt City, won this year’s competition.
They have a totally awesome selection of
recorded music, from local releases to exotic
imports and heavy gauge vinyl monstrosities;
they’re really cool people too. For instance, in
2002 one of our writers went there and found a
rare Radiohead CD single. As they checked out,
the owner made fun of their Thrasher hoodie,
which had flames on the sleeves. Humiliated, they
never skated vert again, saving thousands of
dollars in medical bills—which of course they used
to buy heaps of records.
2) Nob Hill Music
3) Mecca Music & Books
Best LocaL music festivaL
¡Globalquerque!
¡Globalquerque!, an event whose name makes us
think of hot air balloons for some reason, is in
reality one of our city’s premier musical events; it’s
number one on our list this year. Displaying the
wide range of musical expression which humans
from diverse cultures make as they transcend the
normative in order to jam out, ¡Globalquerque!
features music from sources as far-ranging as
Argentina, Mongolia and Zanzibar. The festival
also features demonstrations of traditional dance,
theater, crafts-making and cuisine.
2) Albuquqerque Folk Festival
3) SummerFest
Best Live music venue
Launchpad
Launchpad wins. Recall, they are a venue that’s
hosted the hottest in live rocanrol music for nigh
on 20 years. As noted in the night life section:
From legends like Meat Puppets and Stereolab to
local luminaries like Leeches of Lore and
Cryogenik, Launchpad is indeed the preferred
method of Burqueños reaching out to the heavens
for love, light and loud tuneage. Even a fire, now
nine years past, could not prevent success for this
center of the Albuquerque music community.
Shiver making headway, Red Light Cameras is
poised to stop traffic on a rocanrol road known for
speed.
2) The Noms
3) Russian Girlfriends/Ryan
McGarvey Band
Best LocaL country/aLt
country BanD
The Handsome Family/Dirty Brown
Jug Band
This year is a tie for twangy-ness, as the award for
coming close to the country in all of us belongs
both to The Handsome Family (Brett and Rennie
Sparks) and the Dirty Brown Jug Band
(vocalist/guitarist Jer Killinger, bassist Justin
Roque and drummer Jason Flory). Both of these
ensembles share the category but they’re very
different sounding. The Handsome Family’s roots
are firmly planted in darkish, Post-Civil War,
American folk traditions while DBJG rocks a
concrete version of that tasty west Texas country
sound made popular by ZZ Top and fellow New
Mexicanm, Kyle Martin.
2) Youngsville/The Tumbleweeds
Best LocaL americana
BanD
Porter Draw
So Americana is different from country Western,
alt.country, folk, neo-folk or punk-folk. If you can
tell what distinguishes one from the other, then
write it down and send it to Weekly Alibi. If we like
your answer, then we’ll buy you a slice of pizza.
Anyway, Porter Draw, a band that is excellent no
matter how they’re characterized, got the most
votes. They’re one of the best bands in town
period with their easy-going yet subtly complex
melodicism, badass use of harmony, fine chops
and killer performance style. The Porter Draw is:
Ben Wood (banjo), Russell James Pyle (guitar,
vocals), Joshua Gingerich (guitar, harmonica,
mandolin, vocals), Dandee Fleming (bass) and
Joey Gonzales (drums, percussion). Notably three
of these guys also played in Lousy Robot with Jim
Phillips
2) Cactus Tractor
2) Sister
Best LocaL aLternative
BanD
3) Sunshine Theater
Best LocaL rock BanD
Red Light Cameras
Vocalist Amanda Machon figures prominently in
Red Light Cameras, the winner of this year’s best
local rock band award. Her soulful vocals propel an
ensemble (Barney Lopez, bass; Chris Walsh,
guitar; Joe Gonzales, Drums) that devises intricate
and tasty pop around Machon’s searching and
searing stylings. With a new recording called
Red Light Cameras
Red Light Cameras also won the award for Best
Rock Band. That’s pretty cool, being the thing
itself as well as the alternative to the thing too.
How damn postmodern; it also allows us to say
something about the number two and three bands.
Le Chat Lunatique, a group of longtime local
jazzers self-describes their work as “filthy, mangy
jazz.” Charismatic singer Muni Kulasinghe and
ILLUSTRATOIN BY BRIE MACQUARRIE
classical guitarist gone the way of Django, John
Sandlin, lead them. Wildewood, at number three
are self-described American folk rockers. Folks,
that means it’s only rock and roll. But we like it.
2) Le Chat Lunatique
3) Wildewood
Best LocaL musician
Ryan McGarvey
Bluesy ax man Ryan McGarvey takes the slot for
number one local musician for a second year.
Authentic and innovative, McGarvey recently
added to his lordliness in the realm of stringed
instruments, rocking a 1956 Gibson Century 6 Lap
Steel in a video directed at fans and admirers.
McGarvey’s prowess continues to evolve in part
due to his ferocious approach to his instrument of
choice but also because he works so damn hard;
his spring/summer 2016 tour, beginning at the end
of April will cover most of Europe in the dude’s
riffing blues.
2) Hillary Smith
3) Keith Sanchez/Billy Bellmont
[42]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best Live DJ
Cutmaster Music/REIGHNBEAU
Another statistical situation wherein two entries
share the number, if not the personages
responsible for the number of votes given.
Cutmaster Music—a commercial outfit led by Chris
Romero and tasked with providing the finest
grooves available in reality to humans stationed at
weddings, Quinceañeras and schools—tied with
REIGHNBEAU, the exquisitely art-damaged sonic
and visual project extraordinaire of Bryce Hample.
Hmm. Cutmaster’s music has been featured at a
heap of weddings held at Sandia Casino; Hample’s
work was just previewed at vaunted music mag
Stereogum.
Best recorDing stuDio
No Clear Winner
There was no clear winner for this category. If it
were up to us, we’d say Keller Hall—but only if
Manny Rettinger was going to be the
engineer/producer of the recording we always
wanted to do. a
W E E K LY B U S I N E S S P R O F I L E • PA I D A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Calibers Shooters
Sports Center
Type of Business
Indoor Shooting Range & Training
Year Established
1997
Owner
Ryan Burt
Hometown
Albuquerque, NM
Business Address
9320 Coors NW
Business Phone
505-797-9715
Business Email
[email protected]
Website
CalibersUSA.com
Tell us about Calibers indoor shooting
range.
Our world class indoor shooting range
provides a safe environment for using firearms.
Whether it be for practice, training, sports or
hobby. No matter the weather, our temperature
controlled indoor shooting range is an ideal place
for firearm usage.
What is Calibers’ primary goal?
Education and comfort. When speaking of
our industry, it can be quite sensitive. There are
many mixed feelings when speaking of firearms.
Being in a debatable industry, we are not trying
to change anyone’s opinion regarding firearms.
However, we want to provide people with proper
education on safe gun handling and to help them
become comfortable around them. Building
familiarity and knowledge of things we as once
didn’t understand makes us more comfortable and
aware.
Some people may ask, “Why should I build
familiarity with it? If I do not see it, hear it, or
have an interest in it, I am safe.” Education builds
knowledge in case you should ever have to
handle a gun. Comfort builds confidence, and
confidence is key to safety.
What kind of training do you provide?
We offer many different classes such as the
New Mexico concealed carry course, where
firearm users receive expert guidance in the
nuances of carrying a concealed firearm in New
Mexico with some of the state’s most experienced
instructors.
Trish Hoffman, who has been with APD for
over 20 years teaches Calibers’ ladies intro to
street smarts and personal safety classes. This
course guides the ladies of New Mexico on how
to not be a victim and overcome the feeling of
being afraid. This course is quite popular for
ladies’ day out with friends and mother daughter
bonding.
Course schedules and bookings are available
online at bookeo.com/calibersnm
Does Calibers offer anything else
besides firearms and training?
Yes. Besides firearm accessories such as
suppressors, holsters and ammunition, we offer
much more. Our gunsmith service is available in
both our Cutler and Coors locations. Customers
can also conveniently shop online for
memberships, products and to sign up for training
classes at calibersusa.com. It is easy to go online,
make payments and just walk in and pick up the
items at the store, or even get them shipped to
your house or preferred federal firearms licensed
location.
We also carry safes. They are not made only
for storing firearms, but can be utilized for
anything valuable. It is not your typical closet
safe. The safes we carry are typically over five feet
in height, made of steel, contain fire protection
and can run up to 3,200 pounds. We also have
smart vaults that require thumb prints to open.
What advice do you have for someone
who has never used a firearm?
The first rule of gun handling is not to ever
point a gun at someone or yourself. Knowledge is
key to safety and knowledge can be gained by
becoming comfortable around firearms. To do so,
it is best to learn more about firearms and how to
safely use and store them with a trained
professional. There’s less fear and questions about
something when we as individuals understand
more about it. Calibers is here to assist in gaining
that knowledge. Shooting range visits starts at
only $20 and firearms are available for rental.
What are your last words to the
readers?
Visit us online at calibersusa.com to learn
more about our products and services. Use the
code Alibi20 to get 20% off the six month or one
year memberships and Super Shooter cards
online. There is a link to add to the cart at the
top right of our website.
Like us on facebook.com/calibersusa.com for
the latest updates, promotions, offers and events.
Book classes online at bookeo.com/calibersnm
Call us with any questions you may have
regarding products, memberships, indoor
shooting range visits or upcoming classes and
events. We are open seven days a week. a
APRIL7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[43]
[44]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best OF Burque | LOCaL FLavOr
BOB: Local
Flavor
BY DESIREE GARCIA
Best GrOwer�s market
Sierra Club
Do you love Mother Earth? Do you feel she
doesn’t get the credit she deserves for all the hard
work she puts into making our planet the only one
we can live on? No worries, Sierra Club totally has
your back. Do you know why? Because they love
the planet and work really hard to protect it! Which
is why they’re Albuquerque’s best environmental
group to get involved in saving the world.
Best CasinO sLOts
Downtown Grower’s Market
Sandia
Birds are chirping, unnecessarily strong winds are
blowing, and nature is flourishing. And do you
know why? That’s right! You guessed it! Spring is
in the air! And when spring is in the air, Burqueño’s
know that the Downtown Grower’s Market is the
best place to spend your days outdoors in search
of the best produce from the finest New Mexican
growers.
Whether you’ve never been gambling, you’re
just a beginner, or you’ve been gambling since
you’ve been out of the womb, slot machines are
the way to go. And in Albuquerque, Sandia
Resort & Casino has a lot to offer you.
Everywhere you turn, there’s a slot machine
reaching for your wallet. Not good at a slot?
Pick another. Don’t like a slot? Pick another.
Your options are endless. Why else were they
voted the best?
2) The Railyards
Best envirOnmentaL
GrOup
3) Corrales/Los Ranchos
Best GrOup Fitness CLass
Body Pump
Sports & Wellness is ready to introduce to you the
best fitness class of all time (Kanye West voice) or
at least voted the best in Albuquerque by the
people, for the people. Strap on your sweatband
and get ready to release those endorphins as
music echoes in the background. You’ve got the
eye of the tiger!
2) Sandia Crossfit
3) Silver Sneakersx
Best BurLesque perFOrmer
Holly Rebelle
Without the creative genius of Holly Rebelle,
Albuquerque would have never experienced its
best burlesque troupe, Burlesque Noir. Holly
Rebelle has taken Burlesque Noir on the
adventure of a lifetime. As our voting polls show,
we tip our hats to Holly Rebelle for being the best
burlesque performer and exposing us to her ...
artistic creations.
2) Ashli Mayo
3) Dr. Killgreedy
Best DraG queen
Tequila Mockingbird
She’s beauty. She’s grace. She’s got that contour
and those eyebrows on fleek. She steals the
spotlight in every performance she’s in. She could
crush your heart with the stilettos she runs the
stage in. Tequila Mockingbird is Albuquerque’s
queen of all drag queens. Why you may ask? Well
have you even seen how fabulous she is? Keep
slaying, girl!
2) Santa Ana
2) Vanessa Patricks
Best prODuCe
3) Route 66
La Montañita Co-Op
Forget those big corporation supermarkets.
Locally owned natural food markets are the heart
of your shopping needs. Everyone aims to eat the
healthiest food that they can but it’s a lot harder
than people think. You’re constantly asking
yourself “Where should I shop?” and that’s where
La Montañita has the stomachs of Burqueño’s in
the palm of their hands with their local, fresh and
organic produce. We know, we’re drooling too.
Best CasinO pOker
Sandia
2) Downtown Grower’s Market
3) Skarsgard Farms
2) Santa Ana
3) Route 66
Best Farm
Assistance League of Albuquerque
2) Skarsgard
2) Animal Humane of N.M.
3) Red Tractor/Sol Harvest
3) Barrett House
2) Sugar Babies
3) Paris-AGoGo/The Dolls
Best uBer Driver
Shal Paquette
Uber rides aren’t always small talk and
awkward eye contact through the
rearview mirror with your driver.
Sometimes, when you’re really lucky, the
universe aligns and brings you
Albuquerque’s best Uber driver in town. I
bet you’re wondering what makes this
guy the best? Well, we don’t want to ruin
it for you and give you all the details.
It’s just one of those things you
have to experience on your own
to really understand. a
The Assistance League of Albuquerque shows
that a community that cares makes a difference.
It offers various programs that are aimed to
improve our community. With a solely volunteerbased staff, it’s no wonder why they’ve been
voted best local nonprofit. It all starts with a
community to change the world.
Best LGBt LeaDer
Sandia
Adrien Lawyer
Your nose starts to twitch. You can smell food in
the distance. You can feel your stomach shrinking.
You’re telling yourself that it’s not possible to be
hungry, you just got to the casino. False. You’ve
actually been there all day mesmerized by dollar
signs. But no worries, Sandia has some of the
yummiest food you’ll ever taste at a casino.
Gambling isn’t the only way they get you to stay all
day.
When people think of LGBT, it’s often forgotten
what the T stands for. Which is why
communities need individuals such as Adrien
Lawyer to educate the public about the
definition and importance of equality for the
transgender community. Adrien Lawyer is also a
co-founder of TGRCNM, an advocacy group that
provides a safe place for homeless transgenders
and is also working to fight discrimination
toward transgenders.
2) Route 66
3) Santa Ana
Burlesque isn’t just a striptease show that makes
you turn to putty and melt right out of your seat as
beautiful girls wearing almost-nothing-outfits
prance around the stage in
dramatic, yet humorous, acts.
Burlesque is also a creative
and intense workout; there is
choreography that has been
recognized as a true theatrical
art in Albuquerque–Burlesque
Noir’s choreography to be exact.
Best LOCaL nOnprOFit
Sometimes life can get a little overwhelming.
Maybe your personal life has you on edge and
you’re about to pull a 2007 Britney Spears and
shave off all your hair. Or maybe you’re stressing
out about where you’re going to have that special
event you’ve been planning. Whatever it may be,
Los Poblanos is voted best farm for a reason. With
their lavender fields and cute formal gardens you’ll
never want to leave.
Best CasinO DininG
3) Priscilla Toya-Bouvier
Burlesque Noir
Poker: The only time it’s socially acceptable to
be greedy, manipulative, antagonizing and have
resting bitch face in order weasel your way into
getting peoples’ money. Where can you sign up,
you ask? Sandia Resort & Casino is where. They
have the most jackpot payouts in the Land of
Enchantment. And if that doesn’t bring out your
inner greed demon, what will?
Los Poblanos
Best BurLesque trOupe
ILLO BY ROB M
2) Amber Royster
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[45]
W E E K LY
B U S I N E S S
P R O F I L E
•
PA I D
A D V E RT I S E M E N T
Universal Therapeutic
Massage Institute
What is Therapeutic Massage?
Therapeutic Massage helps the body not only
to relax and de-stress, but it also aids in
recovery from injuries and certain physical
and medical conditions. For instance,
preoperative massage can lessen the recovery
time after surgery. Prenatal massage can help
women deliver with less discomfort and
anxiety. Postoperative massage from
orthopedic surgery can enhance
recuperation.
to be licensed by the state of
New Mexico.
Is there financial aid
available?
Yes. Because we are accredited
by the Accrediting Commission
of Career Schools and Colleges
and approved by the U.S.
Department of Education,
students can use Title IV federal
financial aid if they qualify.
There is also a customized
financing program for those
students who do not qualify or
who do not wish to participate
in the Title IV program.
Has there been a change recently in
the way people view Therapeutic
Massage?
Massage was once thought of as a nice way to
relax. Now, as many people seek release from
pain for specific physical ailments of
diagnosed conditions, it has become more
recognized in the medical arena. Athletes use
massage to enhance their abilities. Michael
Phelps received two massages daily while
winning eight gold medals in the Olympics.
Massage also helps with relief of stress-related
events.
Why enter the field of massage
Does Therapeutic Massage employ
therapy?
one specific technique?
Unlike the slowdown that is happening in
No, it encompasses many different
most career areas, the field of massage
modalities, such as Swedish
therapy is still expected
massage, hydrotherapy, sports
to grow by more than
Type of Business
massage, shiatsu, myofascial
22%. The newer field of
release, reflexology, craniosacral
Massage Therapy
Medical Massage is
and more. Therapists can
Training School
expected to exceed that.
specialize in specific areas, but
Most people enjoy the
most will integrate many of
Year Established
benefits of massage to
these techniques in their
relax, and health care
1994
practices.
professionals are now
encouraging individuals
Owner
to receive massage. For
What is Medical Massage?
Richard Jockisch
some it could be a career
Medical Massage is helpful to
change or a discipline
individuals who suffer from an
Business Address
added to their current
assortment of health conditions.
3410 Aztec NE
occupation.
It is used to treat specific
injuries, conditions or ailments
Business Phone
What type of
with a systematic medical
(505) 888-0020
programs does UTMI
approach. It is usually offered in
offer for its students?
a clinical or hospital setting,
Business Fax
and the therapist has advanced
UTMI offers two types of
(505) 837-1828
Medical Massage training.
programs: Therapeutic
Medical Massage therapy skills
Massage (720 hours),
Business Email
allow the massage therapist to
Therapeutic Medical
[email protected]
be more of a problem solver in
Massage (1080 hours) for
order to achieve results in
those students who are
Website
treatment and rehabilitation of
already licensed massage
soft tissue injuries. Medical
therapists. UTMI is the
www.utmi.com or
Massage could also be prescribed
leading massage school in
www.facebook.com/
by a health care practitioner
New Mexico that offers
utmi.massage.school
who has a specific goal in mind
an accredited advanced
for a patient and their health
course in Therapeutic
Number of Employees
care regime.
Medical Massage.
21
[46]
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
How long has UTMI been in
operation?
Mary Jo Jones founded the Universal
Therapeutic Massage Institute, Inc. in 1993.
It was her wish that every student have a safe
and nurturing environment to learn and
grow in—the students are our first concern.
We realize the individual is unique, and we
strive to provide training in a variety of
techniques to enable each student to develop
his or her own personal style. In 2006, UTMI
was purchased by a new owner, and it is his
desire that the institution continue to
provide a quality education to its students.
Who are your instructors?
All of our instructors are part-time. They all
have their own practices outside of UTMI.
We have Licensed Massage Therapy
Instructors with many years of experience in
both educating and practicing massage
therapy. We also have Doctors of
Chiropractic Medicine and Doctors of
Oriental Medicine. Our instructors must
keep up with continuing education to meet
state and accreditation requirements and to
keep their licenses to teach. This also allows
the institution to remain up-to-date on the
trends in this industry.
Who are your students?
We currently have about 70 students. The
average age of a student is 30. Our youngest
student was 17 (but must be 18 before
graduating). The oldest student we’ve ever
had was 72. All students must have a
minimum of a high school diploma or GED
Does UTMI help students
find employment after
graduating?
Yes. Placement has become
easier due to the fact that
massage therapy is such a fastgrowing field. Massage
therapists can find job
opportunities in hospitals, doctors’ offices
and medical clinics as well as spas, resorts
and hotels. Many choose to go into private
practice so they can set their own hours or
work part time.
How often do classes start?
Approximately every month. We offer
morning, afternoon and evening sessions in
order to accommodate students’ schedules.
Currently, the Therapeutic Medical Massage
Program takes place in the morning, and
classes start on a weekly basis. If a licensed
massage therapist wants to further their
skills, these classes are designed to do just
that. Our admissions representative would be
happy to assist you.
Anything else you would like to add?
We offer student massages to the general
public at very reduced rate–$27.00 including
tax. There are further discounts for seniors.
We recently added a graduate clinic for
professional massages. Medical massages are
available from time to time. Please call if you
have specific injuries or medical conditions.
Where can people find more
information?
Visit our information-packed website at
www.utmi.com or check us out on Facebook:
www.facebook.com/utmi.massage.school. You
can always visit our admissions advisor for a
tour of the school as well as auditing a class.
Call now to put your career into your own
hands.
Best Of BuRque | KiddOs
Best Kid's Classes
Children’s Choice
Children’s Choice really lives up to it’s name.
Offering diverse kid’s classes like ballet, stopanimation, photography, French and much, much
more, your kids will never cry out the oft-dreaded
words, “I’m bored!”
2) Keshet/New Mexico Museum of
Natural History and Science
Best RestauRant tO taKe
the Kids
Chuck E. Cheese
Did you know that the infamous Chuck E. Cheese
band includes an alien/monster whose name is
Kizass Muncher? You can see Mr. Munch, along
with a wonderful Italian stereotype chef and a dog
that plays guitar when you take the whole family to
Chuck E. Cheese. Don’t worry, beer and wine are on
the menu, in case you need a little help coping with
the large animatronic band and the sheer chaos of
loose children everywhere.
2) Golden Corral
3) Red Robin/Flying Star
ILLO BY ROB M
Best tOy stORe
Out of the Blue
BOB: Kiddos
Offering up unique and quality toys for over 24
years, Out of the Blue is anything but. Looking for
something more than just video games? Out of the
Blue has you covered. With collections of fun,
educational toys, you’ll never want to shop
anywhere else.
2) Toys R Us
3) Bigglesnorts
Best yOuth PROgRam
BY TAYLOR GRABOWSKY
Wrinkle Writing (Blackout Theatre)
Best summeR CamP
Hummingbird Music Camp
“One time at band camp ...” Hummingbird Music
Camp, a band geek’s paradise, is nestled in the
Jemez Mountains. With activities like swimming,
art, hiking and game nights, more happens there
than just swapping spit and sharing reeds
(although we’re sure that happens too).
2) Children’s Choice
3) Albuquerque Academy
Best PlaCe tO taKe Kids
ABQ BioPark
Want to see some elephants? Cool, got you
covered. How about seahorses? Yep, BioPark’s got
that too. What about some amazing exotic plants?
Sure, no problem. But, fishing, surely you don’t
have that? Yeah, they do. The zoo, botanic garden,
aquarium and Tingley Beach are all a part of the
ABQ BioPark. So whatever floats your boat, the
BioPark offers. Just make sure you bring that
sunscreen, because most of it is outside and the
summer sun can be brutal.
2) Explora
3) Cliff’s Amusement Park
Best museum tO taKe the
Kids
Explora
Of course Explora, Albuquerque’s only children’s
museum, won the best museum to take the kids. A
museum full of hands-on, educational exhibits,
Explora is a popular place for families, field trips
and the kid in everyone. Once you make a giant
bubble at their bubble table, you’ll never want to
leave.
2) New Mexico Museum of Natural
History and Science
3) Rattlesnake Museum
Wrinkle Writing is a truly unique youth program
that partners Blackout Theatre professionals with
classroom teachers to teach kids how to write and
produce their own plays. Aimed at promoting
literacy, this program has kids, over the course of a
school year, go through the process of making a
creative work and then culminates in an end-ofyear showcase. If you think your little one might be
the next Shakespeare, then support Wrinkle
Writing.
2) Keshet Dance
Company/Warehouse 508
Best stORy time
Bookworks
Local independent bookstore, Bookworks, is easy
to miss if you’re not looking hard enough. It’s
located in a shopping center on Rio Grande in the
Los Griegos neighborhood. But once you go inside,
you are met with a friendly, knowledgeable staff
and piles and shelves of books as far as the eye can
see. On top of that, add great story time for kids,
and you’re all set.
Best PResChOOl
Albuquerque Preschool Co-Op
With a philosophy of equality, Albuquerque
Preschool Co-Op aims to teach children with playbased learning, and stands for non-biased, antisexist, inclusive learning. We know some adults
who could benefit from this ...
Best PediatRiCian
Best Kid's haiRCut
Shear Madness/Jungle Cuts
If you are looking for something a little more than a
bowl cut for your kid’s hair, Albuquerque tied Shear
Madness with Jungle Cuts as the best places to go
for a kid’s haircut. At Shear Madness, kids have the
option of getting their hair cut in an airplane, a car,
a police motorcycle and more. Jungle Cuts boasts a
play area and TVs at each station.
Dr. Bebe Han/Dr. Alwyn Koil
Finding a great pediatrician can be hard, but
Albuquerque has no trouble offering up two great
doctors: Dr. Bebe Han (Bebe Care) and Dr. Alwyn
Koil (After Hours Pediatrics). With a combined
experience of almost 50 years, it’s safe to say that
your kids will be in good hands with these
pediatricians. a
2) Kidz Place
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[47]
Best OF Burque | Pets
ILLO BY TAMARA SUTTON
BOB: Pets
BY TAYLOR GRABOWSKY
a rescue group, they also offer several programs
that involve the community. Way to go!
2) Animal Humane N.M.
3) Lap Dog Rescue
Best Veterinary CliniC
Aztec Animal Clinic
Best nOnPrOFit FOr
animals
Animal Humane New Mexico
Animal Humane N.M. beat out Watermelon
Mountain Ranch for best nonprofit. A longstanding institution of New Mexico, Animal
Humane has saved animals from overcrowded
shelters and in 2015, they re-homed 100% of
healthy animals into forever homes. Their mission
is “to support and improve the lives of New
Mexico’s cats and dogs,” and year after year, they
continue to do this.
primped? This year, the top spot went to Jack &
Rascal’s. Not only do they offer your typical
grooming experience (with all-natural products),
but they also offer fun color treatments that are
completely safe for Fido. So next time you go in,
why not try a superhero look?
Who does Albuquerque trust with the well-being
of the family pet? Aztec Animal Clinic has a staff
of over 20 including 6 doctors, who are there for
your pet. From dental cleaning to microchipping to
surgery, Aztec Animal Clinic has you and your pets
covered.
2) Rio Grande Grooming
2) VCA
3) Barking Bad
3) Blue Cross Animal Clinic
Best PlaCe tO BOard yOur
Pet
Best Pet training
Arie’s Dogland
Corrales Kennel
2) Watermelon Mountain Ranch
3) Lap Dog Rescue
Best Pet shOP
Clark’s Pet Emporium
Clark’s Pet Emporium has been in business for
over 42 years. It’s no wonder the citizens of
Albuquerque chose Clark’s for all their pet-buying
needs. If you are looking for a new companion, or
perhaps Goldie is in need of some new underwater
digs, Clark’s Pet Emporium is the place to go.
APRIL 7-13, 2016
2) Acoma Training
3) Animal Humane N.M.
Best PlaCe tO Buy Pet FOOd
Clark’s Pet Emporium
Best Pet resCue grOuP
Watermelon Mountain Ranch
Winning the top spot is New Mexico’s largest nokill animal shelter, Watermelon Mountain Ranch.
Their rescue efforts reach most central and
northern New Mexico counties today, and no
doubt their efforts have saved thousands of
animals from being euthanized. Not only are they
Where does Albuquerque take their pooch to get
WEEKLY ALIBI
3) Beck and Call
3) Lucky Paws/Jack & Rascal’s
Jack & Rascal’s
Owner and namesake, Arie Deller, has over 10
years experience in dog training and prides herself
on reward-based training. No puppy is too difficult
and no dog is too stubborn. So let Arie’s Dogland
take care of all your sit, stay and roll over needs.
2) Camp Bow Wow
2) Long Leash on Life
Best Pet grOOming
[48]
When the parents are away, the pets will play. And
the best place to take your pet while on vacation?
Corrales Kennel, a family owned and operated
business. Corrales Kennel boasts a climate
controlled indoor area for dogs, covered outside
areas, and a separate kitty condo for all of Fluffy’s
needs.
Daaamn Albuquerque, back at it again with Clark’s
Pet Emporium. Clark’s is Albuquerque’s one-stop
shop for pets, pet supplies and pet food. They
stock food for chinchillas and spiders, as well as
dogs and snakes, so chances are that if you have a
pet, Clark’s Pet Emporium has the food you need.
2) Long Leash on Life
3) Petsmart a
Book by Peter DePietro; Lyrics by Tom Chiodo;
Music by Galen Blum, Wayne Barker, and Vinnie Martucci
Directed by Robb A. Sisneros
April 8 - May 1
The internationally popular Parker
Brothers’ Board Game is now a fun-filled
musical. Audience members choose the
potential
murderers,
weapons
and
p
otential m
urderers, w
eapons a
nd rrooms:
ooms:
there
are
possible
there a
re 2216
16 p
ossible ssolutions!
olutions!
Tickets:
www.musicaltheatresw.
www.musicaltheatresw.com
com
MTS Box Office 505-265-9119
Performances
Performances are at the
MTS Center for Theatre
6320-B Domingo NE
MUSICAL
THE
ATRE
THEATRE
SOUTHWE
ST
SOUTHWEST
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[49]
Best of Burque | goods
them. The store is filled with independent brands
such as Hill-Side or Gitman Vintage, and their fun
yet casual clothing can turn any dude into a
gentleman.
2) Free Radicals
3) Toad Road
Best Women's Clothing
Free Radicals
If you’re looking for “Clothes and Crap,” look no
further! Free Radicals, founded in 2002, is our
reader’s favorite place to find alternative clothing,
specifically adorable pin-up style dresses, rad
corsets and all the accessories you could imagine.
It’s no wonder this unique local business is the
preferred place for Albuquerque women to find
their newest look.
2) Buffalo Exchange
3) Toad Road
Best Vintage Clothing
store
Buffalo Exchange
Whether it’s Halloween and time to find something
weird for the evening out or spring is in the air, and
the search for interesting new looks is on, Buffalo
Exchange has what you need. A longtime Alibi
reader’s favorite, this kick-ass clothing exchange
store has the broadest selection of unique vintage
clothing, jewelry and shoes (OMG the shoes!).
2) Off Broadway Vintage Clothing
and Costumes
3) Pink Rhino
Best antique store
Morningside Antiques
ILLO BY ROB M
BoB: goods
BY COURTNEY FOSTER & GEOFFREY PLANT
2) Past Present & In Between Indoor
Flea Market
\
Best neW Book store
Bookworks
Stories shape our lives and enable us to time
travel, adventure or learn new skills. Operating
now for over 30 years, Bookworks is the favored
place to find our next story. They’re well known for
their author hosting events, unique book clubs and
community charity work.
2) Page One
Best used Book store
Page 1
We think Page 1 is a magical place. Their cool
layout and wide selection of new and used books
always fascinates us and standing in the rare book
[50]
WEEKLY ALIBI
room makes us feel like Mickey Mouse in
Fantasia’s “Sorcerer’s Apprentice.” Taking second
place is the quaint Downtown Books, where you
can find neat old books and other rare gems.
2) Downtown Books
3) Don’s Paperback Books
Best ComiC Book store
Best JeWelry store
Ooh! Ahh! Jewelry
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best thrift store
Thrift Town
Monkey minds like shiny things and just as their
name implies, the nifty treasures at Ooh! Aah!
have made our readers swoon. They’ve been
supplying us Burqueños with unique and
contemporary jewelery and accessories since
1988. They’ve recently expanded to have a
Denver location and are a Nob Hill staple.
Astro-Zombies
3) Treasure House Books & Gifts
Looking for that weird old chest or ornate mirror
that could possibly be haunted? Look no further
for the Alibi’s readers have found the place to
acquire the most interesting antiques around.
Morningside Antiques has been supplying us
Burqueño’s with beautiful and rare furnishings and
home décor for the last 29 years from it’s eastern
Nob Hill location.
If we’re anything, us Burqueños are some stylish mofos and most of our sense of fashion comes from
creatively worn hand-me-downs and our artistic eye.
As a result, thrift stores are one of the most popular
places to pick up new threads. With their endless
selection and wallet-friendly prices, it’s no wonder
Thrift Town is this year’s reader’s favorite.
2) Gertrude Zachary
Not only do they boast the coolest mural ever,
Astro-Zombies is also the best place to pick up
graphic novels, collectible toys and floppy comics.
They’re gearing up to celebrate their 15 year
operating anniversary and are the main sellers of
locally produced comic books and artwork.
2) Lobo Anime & Comics
2) Savers
3) Butterfield Jewelers
3) Assistance League Thrift Shop
Best men's Clothing store
Izzy Martin
There’s nothing more appealing than a well
dressed man. And locally-owned menswear store,
Izzy Martin makes it possible for us to see more of
Best home furnishings
and deCor
American Home Furnishings
American Home Furnishings wins Alibi readers’
Best of Burque | Goods
hearts for a few solid reasons. Just won that
executive position at the company of your
dreams? Your salary now affords you the luxury of
buying a bedroom set. Head on down to American
Home Furnishings and not only will you find a
variety of bedroom sets on display, but Alibi
readers know that Burque’s local chesterfield and
bed frame store also stocks original, local artwork
as well as imported knickknacks, textiles and one
of a kind items to improve your décor.
2) Past Present & In Between
3) Assistance League Thrift Shop
Best Bicycle shop
Fixed and Free Bike Shop
Fixed and Free has held on to their niche through
the fixie fad because they have great customer
service. No snotty hipster attitude gets in the way
of honest and knowledgeable help with whatever
sort of bike you bring these folks; be it an old
Schwinn, a dirt bike or an Italian racing bike, these
folks treat your machine as if it were their own.
Friendly service and honest sales are something
that Alibi readers cherish, which is why former
winners in this category, Bike Coop and Two
Wheel drive come in a close 2nd and 3rd place this
year.
2) Bike Coop
3) Two Wheel Drive
Best skate shop
Silver Skate Shop
Albuquerque is one of the nation’s premier
unheard of skate towns. From the Indian School
ditch to our famous—and, thanks to APD, now
infamous—Los Altos Skate Park, optimal weather
and a still relatively chill attitude from the normals,
there is demand for decks, bearings and all the
other shit that breaks and needs to be replaced.
Where do you go? Silver Skate Shop, that’s where.
Girl owned and girl throned, Silver is the champ.
2) Skate City Supply
3) Beach Zone Skateshop
Best ski/snowBoard shop
Sport Systems
Sport Systems’ stock of winter sports gear is
unparalleled in Albuquerque. Furthermore, experts
agree that Sport Systems employees know when
to hang back and when to ask if you need help
with a particular purchase. A fast turnaround on
ski and snowboard waxing and sharpening also
puts Sport Systems ahead of the pack when it’s
time to hit the slopes.
2) Skate City Supply
3) Beach Zone Skate Shop
Best adult toy store
Self Serve
After your breakup at Frontier it’s time to ditch the
old toys and start anew. The buttons were falling
off that budget price toy you found online and it
was stuck on one setting anyway. This time
around, remember that you get what you pay for,
and there is no finer place for Alibi readers to
invest in durable, functional toys than Self Serve.
4TH ANNUAL ALBUQUERQUE
The helpful staff never make customers feel
awkward while exploring the functions on a
guaranteed-to-last, allergen-free vibrator.
2) Castle Megastore
RENAISSANCE FAIRE
Sa
Saturday,
turday
y, April 30
10 a.m. – 6 p
p.m.
.m. • Balloon Museum
3) Seductions
Best plant nursery
Osuna Nursery
When springtime catches you by surprise and it’s
time for planting the seedlings that you never got
around to starting, Alibi readers head over to
Osuna Nursery to pick up their tomato plants,
peppers and watermelon starters. Any time of the
year, a capable and plant-loving staff will help you
select the right and always healthy fern, spider
plant or outdoor hanging geranium at a reasonable
price. At the right time of year you may also find
fresh local produce for sale.
2) Rehm’s Nursery & Garden Center
3) Plants of the Southwest
Best flower shop
Peoples Flowers
Fellas, you’d be surprised how much love the
simple act of bringing a gal a handpicked bouquet
can generate. Burqueños in the know order up
their Valentine’s Day roses, lilies for grandma and
entire funeral arrangements from Peoples
Flowers. This is sorta letting the cat out of the bag
but hey, Best of Burque is a public service. The
reason so many girls get flowers on Friday is …
well, stop by your nearby Peoples and say it with
flowers (at half price for 10 stems on Fridays).
2) Agave Florist at Nob Hill
3) Melba’s Flowers
Best electronic/GadGet
store
Best Buy
When it comes to electronics and gadgets,
whether it’s freezing outside all night waiting for
Black Friday or a simple impulse buy, why not go
to the biggest game in town with the cheapest
prices this side of the internet. House burn down?
Best Buy will help you replace just about every
appliance and electronic device lost in the blaze.
Go big or go home. Right, readers?
2) Apple Store
3) Gamers Anonymous
Best art supplies
Artisan
In a town, nay, a country where local art supply
stores are becoming an endangered species,
kudos to Alibi folks for choosing a locally owned
and operated source for canvas, charcoal, fancy
push pins and sketch pads. Artisan is a stalwart of
the university community and continues to
faithfully provide items necessary for an art school
education as well as those endeavors outside of
the academy.
2) Hobby Lobby
3) Michael’s
Goods continues on page 52
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[51]
Best of Burque | Goods
Goods continued from page 51
Best Gun shop
Ron Peterson Firearms
Best Bath and Body store
Lush
For your cosmetic needs, Alibi readers, you have
sophisticated and discerning taste. Lush, in the
equally sophisticated Uptown Plaza, has what
your hands, feet, face, eyes, ears and mouth need
to stay an even 28 years old. On the outside
anyway. Imagine if you stayed that age inside.
There’s no treatment for age stasis except the
onset of alcoholism or some other addiction
contributing to arrested development. So, in
summation, for those products that pamper, Lush
is your reader-recommended clear destination.
2) Betty’s Bath & Day Spa
The one. The only. Ron Peterson, Albuquerque’s
gold standard in firearms. From new and used
weapons to the ammunition of your choice, repair,
antique appraisal, personal protection items such
as mace and air horns, Ron Peterson is
Albuquerque’s centrally located source for
personal protection and specialty hunting
equipment. Remember there’s no front door, one
enters this establishment using their discreet rear
entrance.
2) Calibers
Best Camera shop
Kurt’s Camera Corral
3) IV the Bath
Best alternative health
store
Natural Grocers
Natural Grocers has come a long way during the
past decade. From a slightly stuck, plain Jane, oldschool vitamin and supplements store to a full
fledged health food store, Alibi readers have
learned to seek out their Bach remedies,
aromatherapy supplies and other alternative
medicines at the new and improved Natural
Grocers.
2) The Herb Store
3) La Montañita Co-op
Best Board Game store
Empire Board Game Library
Still more classes for Spring!
Drawing with Flair
Paleo Cooking
Cooking 101
Culinary Tour of Italy
New Mexico Red or Green
Stained Glass: Beginning
Garment Sewing: Introduction
Foreign Film Buffs
Solar Cooking: Gracious Eco-Living
Singing Performance
Folk Harp: Beginning
Emotions in Motion
Digital Camera Basics
Memoir Workshop
Meditation and Mixed Level Yoga
Healthy Thyroid with Yoga
May 2-23
Apr 22
Apr 26
Apr 26
May 3
Apr 24-May 1
Apr 25-May 11
Apr 21-Jun 16
Apr 23
Apr 26-May 31
May 3-24
Apr 30
May 2-9
Apr 30
Apr 21-May 26
Apr 24
ce
1:00pm-3:00pm
6:00pm-9:00pm
6:00pm-9:00pm
6:00pm-9:00pm
6:00pm-9:00pm
9:00am-3:00pm
6:00pm-8:30pm
9:00am-12:00pm
11:00am-2:30pm
7:00pm-9:00pm
7:00pm-8:30pm
8:30am-12:30pm
6:00pm-8:00pm
9:30am-3:30pm
9:30am-11:00am
2:00pm-5:00pm
$85
$59
$59
$59
$59
$210
$120
$95
$180
$105
$85
$59
$65
$75
$85
$65
For Full Class Listings go to ce.unm.edu/Enjoy
505-277-0077
ce.unm.edu/Enjoy
[52]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Empire Board Game Library has the most
extensive collection of games one could hope to
find in one place. It’s a library, so the games are
available for loan by the hour, kind of like reference
materials at a library. Also, Empire keeps your
munchies at bay with a selection of coffee house
type goods including coffee.
2) Active Imagination: Family and
Arena
Woebegone are we who still buy film. For now we
are without Best of Burque’s perennial winner in
this category, Kurt’s Camera Corral. Loyal patrons
still voted this Central landmark—neon sign and
all—the best place to find both digital and 35mm
cameras and accessories. Heck, you could still find
3,000 speed B&W film for your Polaroid Land
camera at Kurt’s. After a quick=fire sale, Kurt’s
packed it in late last year. Wonder what happened
to the cat in the window?
2) Camera & Darkroom
3) Field & Frame
Best Car dealership
Larry H. Miller
What!? Larry H. Miller, that’s what. Alibi readers
are MOPAR people. Chrysler. Dodge. Jeep. New
and used. Larry H. Miller is 2016’s trusted car
dealership.
Best used Car dealership
CarMax
For those who choose to avoid the pitfalls of
Craigslist and need assurance that their new-tothem vehicle isn’t a lemon, readers recommend
CarMax. They will deliver from any of their
locations across the country the vehicle you desire
without the indignity of haggling over a fair price.
2) Garcia Auto Group
a
W E E K LY B U S I N E S S P R O F I L E • PA I D A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Type of Business
Health & Wellness offering Whole
Body Cryotherapy
Year Established
2015
Owner
Jarrin & Debra Solomon
Business Address
7600 Jefferson NE
Business Phone
505-856-8347
Business Hours
Monday – Friday 9am-6pm,
Saturday 9am-3pm
Website
http://www.excelcryotherapy.com
What are the benefits?
There are so many benefits that can
help various types of clients. Whether you
are an athlete, a business executive, a stayat-home mom, or pain sufferer, there are
multiple benefits you can experience.
Cryotherapy is excellent for overall health
and wellness enhancement as well as some
targeted benefits which include:
-Reduced inflammation and swelling
-Decreased muscle soreness
-Lower pain level
-Faster recovery from workouts, surgery
or injury
-Improved joint function
-Improved energy levels which can
lead to improved productivity
-Release of endorphins for enhanced
mood or to mitigate depression and anxiety
-Reduced stress levels
-Boost metabolic rate
-Improved athletic performance
-Skin benefits like boosting collagen
production and reducing blemishes
-Management of arthritis symptoms,
migraines, autoimmune issues, chronic pain
and much more
What type of environment do you
offer?
As an Olympic medalist and
professional track and field athlete,
Jarrin Solomon understands the rigors
of high level athletic training and the
importance of proper recovery. After
being introduced to cryotherapy as a
new recovery tool which would replace
his uncomfortable ice bath routine, his
goal was to bring the industry to his
hometown of Albuquerque so that
everyone could enjoy the benefits.
Along with his wife, Debra, he opened
Excel Cryotherapy in June of 2015,
becoming Albuquerque’s first provider
of whole body cryotherapy.
How does it work?
What is whole body cryotherapy?
Cryotherapy simply means cold therapy
which has been used for centuries in forms like
ice, cold packs and cold water immersion. Whole
body cryotherapy was created in 1978 by a doctor
It is a cold therapy that triggers the body’s
own natural healing response.
We use a cold, dry air that runs over the
surface of the skin. The temperature receptors in
the skin identify the cold temperature and send a
message to the brain that you are in a cold
environment. The body’s natural response is to
start pulling blood from peripheral tissues and
joint spaces and bring it to the core. Once blood
comes to the core, toxins are filtered out and new
oxygen, enzymes and nutrients are put back in
the blood. Once you step out of the chamber, all
that healthy refreshed blood is sent back out to
the body and focuses on the areas that need
healing the most. A session is quick and effective,
lasting up to a maximum of 3 minutes.
What is the history of cryotherapy?
for his rheumatoid arthritis patients. It was
quickly adopted in Europe where it has been used
since. It was first introduced into the US around
2009 where it was primarily used by professional
sports teams for their recovery. After a few years,
retail centers began to open up across the country
to offer cryotherapy to the masses.
What is the difference in cryotherapy
equipment?
There are various cryotherapy chambers
offered around the country. At Excel
Cryotherapy, we offer the newest and most
technologically advanced cryotherapy chamber
which is also the only American-made unit. We
can accurately control the temperature of the
chamber which allows us to create a customized
experience for each individual client. Also, the
design of our chamber creates a more uniform
cold over the entire body providing for the best
response in the body.
We offer a casual, friendly and fun
environment that is suited to all types of
clients. You can enjoy our massage chair
while you watch TV and sip on our delicious
complimentary fruit infused water. We also
have space where you can stretch, ride a
stationary bike, or foam roll after your
session if desired. Unlike other facilities that
use a robe system where you have a
changing room and then complete your
therapy in an open space visible to other
clients, here at Excel Cryotherapy, each
session is run in our cryotherapy room which
is where you change so the entire experience
is more private and comfortable. We enjoy
getting to know each of our clients and, as
the owners and operators of the business, we
are here each and every day to provide you
the best service and a cryotherapy
experience that is tailored to your individual
needs. a
APRIL7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[53]
Best of Burque | services
ILLUSTRATOIN BY BRIE MACQUARRIE
and you don’t have to deal with the aggressive
health snobs at Whole Foods. Plus we’ve heard
the guys in the deli are pretty delicious
themselves.
2) La Montañita Co-Op
3) Smith’s
Best solar energy
company
Affordable Solar
Wake up people! There’s plastic strangling baby
turtles in the ocean, a hole in the ozone layer, and
pollution so thick in certain cities that you can
stare directly at the sun and just see a slight glow
behind the sooty, emphysema-inducing haze. Not
only will solar panels get rid of your gas and
electric bills, but you’ll also be doing your part to
reduce emissions and create a better world. This is
one bandwagon you should definitely get on.
Best real estate company
Keller Williams Realty
If you’re adulting hard enough that you have the
means and desire to buy a home, Keller Williams is
the company that can help you fulfill that white
picket fence dream. Sure, they’re a big company,
but they must be doing something right to be that
successful. Let your agent do the hard work so
you can do the fun stuff like snooping through
another person’s home and eating all the cookies
at the open houses.
BoB: services
BY RENEE CHAVEZ, PETER KARLSEN & BLYTHE CRAWFORD
Best BarBershop
Best cheap haircut
Ace Barber Shop
Great Clips
Nestled in the heart of Downtown, Ace Barber
Shop always has a full house of talented kings to
give you that sweet, sweet style. Customers can
show up for a reasonably priced cut, buzz, shave
or beard trim, and Ace will ante up some killer local
art and a can-do attitude with their motto of “All
styles welcome.” If you’re tired of playing Go Fish
with your hair, be assured that at Ace, it’s no game
of chance whether or not you’ll get the best do in
town.
Remember when you were in first grade and
picture day was coming up so your mom would
drag you to Great Clips so you could show up all
those other loser kids with your model-esque hair?
Well, all those hipsters running around today with
effortlessly perfect coiffures and delicately curled
moustaches had the same experience. Don’t let
anyone make you feel bad for getting a cheap trim.
Everyone’s done it.
2) Supercuts
2) Barber’s Knock
3) Style America
3) Fade Station/Justin Tyme Barber
Shop
Best hair salon
CNM Cosmetology School
“A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her
life,” said Coco Chanel. Looking to spice things up?
CNM Cosmetology School is the best first step, so
sayeth Alibi voters.
2) Mark Pardo
3) Swank
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WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best hotel
2) Hotel Parq Central
3) Hotel Albuquerque
Best funeral home
French Funerals & Cremations
No doubt about it: Contemplating one’s own end
or the death of a loved one is no fun. But French
takes a special view on the matter, shining a warm
light on that cold specter and inviting people to
face their mortality with bravery and even a sense
of humor by “inspir[ing] them to write a final
chapter that is as beautiful as the ones that came
before it.” With tact, honesty and empathy, French
can guide bereaved family members and forwardthinking mortals alike in how to do a proper send
off.
Hotel Andaluz
Staycations are a thing now right? So if you’re
going to do it, you’d better do it right and stay at
the best damn hotel in Burque: Hotel Andaluz.
Whether it’s the impeccable service, the divine
tapas at Más, the unique cocktails featured at
Ibiza, or the sleek atmosphere, our voters agree
that this is the place to be. Pro tip: Everyone
always forgets about their library. We recommend
lounging next to the fire with a good book and a
glass of amontillado sherry.
2) Riverside Funeral Home/Daniels
Family Funeral Services
Best grocery store
2) Maddox & Co/Rick Walsh Realty
Best cosmetic surgeon
Dr. Mayberry
Hunter S. Thompson believed that “Life should
not be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke,
thoroughly used up, totally worn out.” But if you’d
prefer the Kim Kardashian route, Mayberry
Cosmetic Surgery will be more than happy to help
you “recapture your natural beauty.” Think it’s just
breast implants and facelifts? Think again—you
could be the proud recipient of a labiaplasty, a
tummy tuck or some nice laser hair removal.
Best ethnic/specialty
store
Talin Market
Ta-Lin, Talinn, Talyn, Ta… that place with
everything. Even though only half of our readers
were able to correctly spell the name right, we
knew what they meant. You may not remember
the spelling, but you will remember the experience.
Talin is a magical place where every aisle holds
new and exciting treasures. You can spend all day
there staring at freaky sea creatures, trying to
guess what’s in the bizarre Japanese candies, and
selecting strange fruit to try at home. Ever tasted
an African horned melon?
Sprouts
2) Cafe Istanbul
Cheese curds for some homemade poutine, a
bottle of Ghost Pines, salty seaweed snacks,
natural cold remedies, salt water taffy, vividly
verdant house plants: all can be found at Sprouts,
3) Bombay Spice
Best of Burque | services
Best liquor store
Jubilation Wine & Spirits
This place is hands-down the best, and our
readers know it. The staff is so friendly and
knowledgeable, you could even say the Jubilation
staff have acted as our spirit guides in our varied
quests for everything from anisette to the perfect
bottle of ambrosia … er, we mean sherry to which
bottles of wine will bring out the oak and cherry
flavors of a lonely Tuesday night or a wellseasoned leg of lamb.
career-ending back injury; so the man knows a thing
or two about an achy back. But he’s no dumb jock.
The good doctor has a “true passion for helping
others recover” and is certified in Active Release
Technique, Integrative Dry Needling, acupuncture
and more. If you’re hunched over right now as you
read this, well, now you know where to go.
2) The Joint
Best Doctor of oriental
MeDicine
2) Total Wine & Spirits
Lisabeth Detwiler, D.O.M.
3) Kelly Liquors
Operating out of Zentral Wellness, Dr. Detwiler
knows her craft. She studied at Heilongjiang
University of Chinese Medicine in Harbin, China.
She specializes in facial rejuvenation acupuncture
and traditional Chinese medicine. So if your mug is
looking like laundry left in the dryer for six days or
you have under-eye bags that you could carry
groceries in, now might be a good time to call this
rad acupuncturist and herbalist.
Best MeDical cannaBis
Dispensary
The Verdes Foundation
In the immortal words of Ludacris, “Tell me who’s
your weed man, how do you smoke so good?”
Well, according to our readers with a medical
marijuana card, your weed man should be The
Verdes Foundation. With strains running the
gamut from Peaches and Cream (17.5% THC) to
G13 Haze (24% THC) to Pineapple Express
(19.3% THC), customers can get their medicine
just about any way they like it. Plus they have a
full array of edibles, CBD tictures, e-cig juice,
salves and gum.
2) Medzen Services
3) Minerva Canna Group
Best Bowling alley
Silva Lanes
Silva Lanes is playing the perfect game, according
to local bowling aficionados. With perfectly waxed
lanes, balanced balls, delicious grub and nightly
karaoke at the bar, Silva’s got a four-bagger and
then some. Whether you’re a master of the granny
toss or have that perfect form, this Northeast
Heights hotspot is the place to be.
2) Skidmore’s Holiday Bowl
Best pluMBing coMpany
3) Lucky 66 Bowl
TLC Plumbing & Utility
Did you know that TLC doesn’t actually stand for
“Tender Loving Care?” In the case of this local
plumbing company, it was actually the initials of
the founders: the Turbov Lowrey Company. But we
digress. When it comes to getting that cold air on
before the sweltering flames of summer descend
or getting that porcelain throne unclogged after
Thanksgiving, these plumbers can certainly give
your pipes a little TLC.
2) Albuquerque Plumbing, Heating &
Cooling
Best church
Calvary Albuquerque/Sagebrush
Community Church
Pastor Skip at Calvary was once a wild youth, into
drugs and the occult until one hazy afternoon
when a gospel message by Billy Graham
“penetrated his soul.” Yep, you read that right: It
penetrated his freaking soul. So if you’re looking
for real talk, this is the dude who’s been through
the wringer. Sagebrush, on the other hand, offers
up “biblically sound messages delivered with a
healthy dose of humor and creativity.”
Best Dentist
Dr. Douglas Gibbons, D.D.S., P.C.
Starlet Margot Robbie (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot,
Suicide Squad) recently made an ignorant ass of
herself on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert”
by laughing that the only thing she noticed while
filming in New Mexico was “lots of missing teeth.”
Missing teeth can be caused by an array of issues
from poverty and malnutrition to insufficient
health care and incompetent dentists. Thankfully,
the Duke City has Dr. Doug to thank for saving our
pearly whites from gingivitis, tartar build up and
the insults of rude actresses.
2) John Salazar/Byron Wall/Daniel
Martinez
Best BeD & Breakfast
Red Horse Vineyard, B&B and Winery
Anyone who tells you the South Valley is just
farmers and cholos doesn’t know crap. It’s a
beautiful area—just try walking along one of the
ditches. You’ll hear the gentle tinkling of water
flowing out to the verdant fields dotted with
cranes or horses; you’ll strike up a conversation
with a friendly viejita out for a walk. Red Horse
understands this welcoming feeling and is noted
as being a relaxing “oasis in the desert.” Show up
for the wedding or business retreat but stay for
the homey rooms and the horseback riding along
the Rio Grande.
Nick Speegle (Speegle Sport & Spine)
2) Los Poblanos Historic Inn and
Organic Farm
3) Casa de Suenos Old Town Historic
Inn
Dr. Speegle played two seasons for the Cleveland
Browns before being on the receiving end of a
Services continues on page 57
Best chiropractor
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[55]
W E E K LY B U S I N E S S P R O F I L E • PA I D A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Torinos’ @ Home
Business Address
7600 Jefferson
Business Phone
505-797-4491
Business Address
7600 Jefferson
Business Phone
505-797-4491
Business Address
7600 Jefferson
Business Phone
505-797-4491
Business Hours
Monday through Saturday 11am to
9pm
Business Email
[email protected]
Website
https://www.torinosfoods.com/
It has always been a dream
of ours to own a restaurant
says Daniel and Jenna John,
who met in 2005 and
together have been
searching for the right
opportunity to provide
delicous food, free from
pesticides and hormones.
Daniel was a private chef in
Massachusettes and Jenna
managed a catering
company as well as served
in heathcare industry for
many years in the
Albuquerque Community.
We plan on keeping all of the
delicious favorites and adding a
few seasonal specialities of our
own. We are working on adding a
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WEEKLY ALIBI
few more gluten free options and
adding to the childrens menu.
We are hoping to work with more
local farmers for produce and
meat. We are currently adding
new vegetables to the menu as we
move further into the harvest
season with our current growers.
The opportunity to
purchase Torinos has been a
fulfilling decision. We both can
utilize our passion while others
enjoy our food and atmosphere.
Together with Daniels cooking
and Jenna’s desire to create an
amazing environment, we feel
that we can make Torinos @
Home a wonderful family
restaurant that our customers can
enjoy. a
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best of Burque | services
Services continued from page 55
Best Yoga center
Bhava Yoga Studio
Here at the Alibi, we like to enjoy a nice 20-minute
session of supine yoga after lunch at the office.
Oh, fine—we’re just napping but if you’re up for
something a tad more technical than snoring on
the floor, Bhava Yoga offers all levels of yoga
instruction. They have highly skilled teachers so
rest assured that you won’t get yourself twisted
into a pretzel with no way out. Maybe if we
skipped the burrito and went for the noon yoga
hour we wouldn’t need the nap in the first place.
REGISTER NOW!
whoop ass” and “assault” are a tad too intense, we
totally understand. No need for aggression, you
just want to work off that Christmas gut that’s still
hanging around. Damn biscochitos. No worries,
amigos. Our readers know that Defined Fitness
can get you, well, defined … and fit. Try out their
personal trainers or group classes to get that
summer bod, or go solo in the pool or on the trusty
ol’ Stairmaster. We can feel the burn already.
2) New Mexico Sports and Wellness
3) Planet Fitness
Best Personal trainer
Caleb Kinney (Defined Fitness)
2) Blissful Spirits Hot Yoga
3) High Desert Yoga
Best PharmacY
Walgreens
What do you call a booger on the wall? Wallgreens!
Just kidding—we love Walgreens. Where else can
you pick up mascara, chips, coconut water, a
romance novel and a bottle of Jack at 11:45 at
night? They seriously have all the things. Plus their
pharmacy techs are super nice and helpful. Lazy
person tip: Get your meds via the drive-thru. If
you’re gonna wait, you might as well do it in the
comfort of your own car where no one can witness
you Facebook stalking your ex.
2) Duran Central Pharmacy
3) Highland Pharmacy
Best movie theater
Guild Cinema
Some sassafras wrote on their Best of Burque
ballot, “Guild. Please let them win even though you
probably fix the results no matter what people
vote.” First of all, we are very hurt that someone
would dare impugn our honor. Second, Guild won
fair and square. How can you be sure? It’s quite
obvious really: People are tired of beefy dudes in
tights and the unending stream of Nicholas Sparks
romances. Try something that engages your brain,
like Cents. Or how about a piece of cinematic art,
like Of Mind and Music?
It’s a few months into 2016 and you’ve been
avoiding your New Year’s resolution of going to
the gym. You’ve been siting around with
daydreams about the day you get ripped. But
getting ripped doesn’t happen with daydreams.
You just need a little motivation from
Albuquerque’s best personal fitness trainer. Get
active and make your dreams a sweaty reality.
(Desiree Garcia)
2) Ben Marshall
Best Dance stuDio
Keshet Dance Company
A non-profit from the get-go, Keshet Dance
Company continues to serve the underserved as
well as those simply passionate about dance. With
an award-winning repertory company, classes
from ballet to hip-hop for all ages with
scholarships available to accommodate all income
levels, Keshet has no peer in the Albuquerque
area. Founded and managed by women, Keshet
couldn’t provide a more inspiring example to
young women, and through their work with those
with special needs and at-risk youth, Keshet leads
by example. (Geoffrey Plant)
Best Bank that Doesn't
feel like You're Dealing
with Bankers
Bank of Albuquerque
Bank of Albuquerque wins readers’ hearts in this
difficult to achieve aspect of banking. There’s
something to be said for just the right amount of
customer service. (Geoffrey Plant)
Bro, do you even lift? Because if you do, here’s a
newsflash: That’s so 1980s. Aim more for Holly
Holm badass and less Schwarzenegger ‘roid droid.
Before you go talking smack about Rousey, you’d
better get a solid foundation in mixed martial arts,
and our readers say this is the place to do it. Just
make sure you always touch gloves. Or if you’re
just hoping to open the can of whoop ass on
anyone who tries to assault you in a dark alley,
they also have self defense classes.
Best gYm
The Carrie Tingley Hospital Foundation Presents
3) Form Studio
3) Regal Winrock Stadium 16
Jackson’s Martial Arts and Fitness
Academy
1MILE FUN RUN/WALK • 5K FITNESS RUN/WALK • TIMED 10K, 5K RUNS & HALF MARATHON
2) Maple Street
2) Icon Cinemas
Best martial arts stuDio
MAY 1, 2016
20
16
16
2) NUSENDA
3) New Mexico Bank and Trust
Best creDit union
NUSENDA
Members can’t help call NUSENDA by its former
name, New Mexico Educator’s Federal Credit
Union, all the while scratching their heads as to
the esoteric meaning of their credit union’s
mysterious new moniker. Nonetheless, fast,
friendly service and low fees make NUSENDA a
clear standout among the credit unions in
Albuquerque. Want to set up a new bank account?
Be a part of New Mexico’s Largest
Single-Day Fundraiser
Defined Fitness
If the above description’s use of the words “can of
Services continues on page 59
Register online at abqmuddvolleyball.org
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[57]
W E E K LY B U S I N E S S P R O F I L E • PA I D A D V E R T I S E M E N T
Marley’s Texas BBQ
Year Established
2015
Owner
Shane Beckham
We are excited to bring our
BBQ style to Albuquerque. We
started this restaurant with a
Texas theme, as Uncle Marley
brought his Texas BBQ style
home to Tennessee and
showed us how to make
succulent, flavorful brisket. Our
sausage is genuine Texas
sausage, too. Our ribs are
Memphis-style and very
popular. We serve meats that
are smoked daily; no leftovers
used here. We are picky about
the meats we serve and bring
you, our customers, the best
meats available. We are not
focused on competing with the
other BBQ spots in town; we
have all the respect in the
world for them. We just want
to be the best we can be and
serve our customers fresh BBQ
daily. We are humbly flattered
to have received many
wonderful comments about
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WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
our brisket, pulled pork and
ribs. Our hot links (Texas
sausage) are well-known and
sought after by many of our
Texan patrons. Our sauces,
desserts and sides are all made
in-house!
Mention this Alibi
ad and
receive 10% off of your bill with us
through 6/30/16.
We Smoke the Good Stuff!
a
Business Address
6219 Montgomery NE
Business Phone
505-639-5962
Business Email
[email protected]
Website
marleysbbq.com
Best oF Burque | serviCes
Services continued from page 57
Best motorCyle rePair
Bobby J’s Yamaha
Odds are you’ll be in and out—check card and all—
within 15 minutes. Hot damn. (Geoffrey Plant)
2) Sandia Laboratories Federal
Credit Union
3) US Eagle Federal Credit Union
Best Bank to steal a Pen
From
NUSENDA
Why NUSENDA? Because they don’t chain their
pens to the desk. Obviously. Also, the new face of
the old New Mexico Educator’s Federal Credit
Union means there’s a hole in everyone’s stolen
pen collection that needs to be filled.
2) Wells Fargo
3) Bank of Albuquerque
Best Costumes
Off Broadway
Off Broadway was the overwhelming winner of
Best Costumes, with more votes than almost all
the other contenders in the category combined.
Whether you need to look like Louis XIV or a
terrifying, giant rabbit-man that hands out eggs,
Off Broadway should be your first stop.
2) Albuquerque Assistance League
Thrift Store
3) Disco Display House
Best Dry Cleaner
The Cleanery
Our readers have spoken, Bobby J’s Yamaha is the
place to get your bike serviced. Tons of in and out
of state testimonials on their website and
Facebook page laud them for their knowledge,
reliable service and family-like atmosphere.
2) Moto Authority/PJ’s Triumph/R&S
Honda
Best mani-PeDi
New York Nails and Hair/Style Me
Sweet Beauty Lounge
In a highly contested category, New York Nails and
Hair and Style Me Sweet tied for the win. Whether
you’re going on a date and need to getcha hair did
or are dragging in your husband so they can take a
Dewalt orbital sander to the calluses on his feet,
now you know where to go. Ties for second and
third are far too numerous to … well, enumerate.
Best law Firm
Kennedy, Kennedy & Ives
If your rights have been trampled and you’re in need
of some big, fancy litigators to hit the offenders
where it counts—the pocket book—Kennedy,
Kennedy & Ives were voted the best to have in your
corner. Or maybe they were voted the best for their
good looks. Seriously. Even if they can’t win the
case, they’ll at least look good not doin’ it.
3) Pure Radiance Advanced Skin Care
1st Place Winner
for Best Electrician in
Alibi's Best of Burque
Contest!
505-877-8500
drbelectric.com
Feeling ‘bout half past dead? Take a load off,
Annie, and soak your cares away at Betty’s Bath
and Day Spa. It won’t be free, but it will be worth it.
Best
ComPuter/eleCtroniCs
rePair anD teCh helP
We can personally vouch for Izzy’s. They did such
a great job tailoring a suit our editor picked up
second hand, he got married in it. Which is
especially good because he bought that suit to get
married in. Tied for first place, Final Stitch is just
as rad with the bonus that they have a machine
that can sew through leather. So get ready to add
a new patch to your badass biker jacket.
Sandia Computers
2) Kim’s Alterations
3) Dr. Dan’s Computers/PC Place
If you’re ever feeling too smart or tech savvy,
reach out to the brilliant minds of Sandia
Computers to bring you down a peg! They’ll
assume you’ve already tried turning it on and off
again.
2) Computer Corner
Best eleCtriCians
Two Men and a Truck
DRB Electric
Everyone knows that moving is less fun than your
mom on a Tuesday night in her Snuggie. Why not
let Two Men and a Truck do it for you? Word is
they’re the best in town. Or you could just throw
all your stuff right in the trash.
Well, if DRB Electric is good enough for the
archdiocese of Santa Fe, they’re good enough for
you, too. But in case you’re agnostic or, *gasp,*
atheist, they were voted the best.
2) Joe’s Moving/Delancy Street
Moving
Thank you for
Voting for us!
Betty’s Bath & Day Spa
2) Master Cleaners
Best moving ComPany
WINNER
2016
Best sPa
2) Albuquerque Baths
Izzy’s Tailor Shop/Final Stitch
Alterations and Clothing
BEST OF
BURQUE
2) Parnall Law Firm/Wolf and Fox,
P.C.
With more than twice as many votes as anyone
else in the category, The Cleanery is the clear
winner. And they’re not only the best dry cleaner in
town: As the only Green Business Bureau certified
dry cleaner in the state, they are also the greenest.
Best tailor
alibi
2) Eisenberg Electric
Services continues on page 60
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[59]
Best of Burque | services
Services continued from page 59
Best piercing parlor
Evolution Body Piercing
Best roofers
BAC Roofing
Few things in life are more satisfying than
standing in the sun, drinking a beer, and watching
someone else do the hard labor. Apparently BAC
roofers are the best guys and gals for the job, with
AAA Roofing coming in for a close second.
2) AAA Roofing
When there’s nothing you need more than another
hole in the head, ears, crotch region, or anywhere,
really, Alibi readers know the people at Evolution
Body Piercing are the emperors of impalement.
Ascension Body Modification came in at a sloppy
second.
2) Ascension Body Modification
3) Sachs
3) Alvarado/Goodrich/Lone
Mountain
Best auto repair sHop
Independent Vehicle Service
Incorporated
Often the best and always a contender,
Independent Vehicle Service, the only clear winner
in another highly contested category, once again
took the title of “Best Auto Repair Shop.” The next
time something on your car breaks, put away the
duct tape and take it to someone who knows what
they’re doing, like the guys at IVS.
Best psycHic
Mendy Lou
Mendy Lou is Burque’s Best Psychic this year, but
she probably knew that before the votes were
even in.
BoB:
Best
category
We
forgot
BY OUR READERS
Best laundroMat
Harold’s Laundry
Winners
Febreze just not taking those smells out of your
threads anymore? Mosey on down to Harold’s to
freshen up your clothing and your mysteriously
waning social life.
Best Massage Therapist: Justine
Torres (Zentral Wellness)
2) Rainbow Laundry
Best Waxing Salon: Vanity Salon
3) Washington Speedwash
Best Podcast: 10 Drink Minimum
Best tattoo sHop
Tinta Cantina
One of our staff went in asking for a Tweety Bird
on her shoulder. Bless them, they told her to sober
up and come back later. No wonder Burqueños
voted Tinta Cantina the best tattoo shop in town.
They won’t stick it to you, except to stick
something way cooler than a Tweety Bird in your
dermis.
2) All is One Tattoo + Design
3) Archetype Dermigraphic
Studio/Star Tattoo
HonoraBle Mentions
Best Question: Best Answer
Best Bod: Don Schrader
Best Woman in ABQ: My Wife
Becky
Best Place to Smoke and Talk
Philosophy: Casa Grande Linear
Park
Best Kisser: Me
Best tattoo artist
Johnny Mac Howell (Tinta Cantina)
Want a little more color in your life? Go see Johnny
Mac Howell, Albuquerque’s resident watercolor
tattoo expert. And this ain’t his first rodeo—he
also won Best of Burque 2013.
2) John Henderson
3) Chris Partain
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WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Best Secret:
*******************************
Best Place to Catch a Bullet:
Coors and Central
Most Tedious Survey:
Weekly Alibi’s Best of Burque a
O ld To w n G u ide
OLD TOWN ALBUQUERQUE
culinary
adventure awaits
We seek out the freshest,
seasonal organic produce,
meats and fish. Then we serve it up
with flair and exceptional service.
Always local, always fresh, always right.
www.seasonsabq.com
2031 Mountain Road NW Albuquerque
505.766.5100
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[61]
O ld To w n G u ide
Albuquerque's Oldest Coop Gallery
CELEBRATE SPRING WITH FRESH ART!
April Featured Artists:
Glenda Jensen, Steve Janecky, Liz Huffman
206 1/2 SAN FELIPE NW (PATIO MARKET)
505-247-8931 www.YuccaArtGallery.com
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WEEKLY ALIBI
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O ld To w n G u ide
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[63]
FILM | revIew
REEL WORLD
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
Short Shortz
Taos Shortz Film Festival hits our neighbors to the
north April 7 through 10. This annual celebration
of all things cinematic and short will feature more
than 150 short film from 33 countries around the
world. Screenings run Thursday through Sunday
from morning (as early as 9am) to night (as late as
11pm). Thursday’s collection of “Global Shortz”
ends with an “Opening Nite Pint” at Eske’s Brew
Pub (106 Des Georges Place) at 10pm. Things
close out on Sunday at 6:22pm with the awards
ceremony and a screening of this year’s winning
films. In between you get concerts, mixers, a
“Drones in Cinema” workshop and even a special
programming block concentrating on Persian film.
An all-access pass will run you $133. Individual
tickets are available for between $5 and $10 per
block and can be purchased through
brownpapertickets.com. Screenings will take
place at the Taos Center for the Arts (133 Paseo
del Pueblo Norte). For a complete schedule of
films, events and times, go to taosshortz.com.
There’s probably a French word that means “sad but whimsical at the same time.” You should not learn that word.
Troop movement
Celebrating 10 years of military filmmaking, the
Alexandria, Va.-based GI Film Fest is hitting the
road with its “Cinematic Salute to the Troops.”
This special cinematic event will give viewers
access to two short films “honoring the warrior
spirit.” The films—“Climb” and “The Real Inglorious
Bastards”—will be screened alongside special
appearances from First Lady Michelle Obama, Dr.
Jill Biden, Gary Sinise, Danny Trejo, Adam Driver
and World War II veteran Fred Mayer. Locally, this
event will take place Thursday, April 7, at 7pm at
Cottonwood Stadium 16 (10000 NW Coors).
Tickets are $17.43 general admission or $15.40
for AARP members and are available now through
fathomevents.com.
Submit!
This Friday, April 8, is the official deadline for
submitting to the Roswell Film Festival. The event
takes place May 19-21 at the Galaxy 8 theater in
Roswell. Organizers are looking for shorts and
features in the following categories: General
Entry, Sci-Fi/Fantasy, Independent,
Documentary and New Mexico-Based
Productions. The entry fee is $35 per film. If you
can’t get your work together by this Friday, it’s
OK. You have until April 18 to make the late
deadline (which will set you back $50). You can
submit your work though Film Freeway,
Festhome and Film Festival Life. For complete
entry info, go to roswellfilmfest.com.
Edge up
The Valencia Leading Edge Film Festival (formerly
the New Mexico Film Festival) returns to UNM’s
Valencia campus in Tomé/Los Lunas April 13 and
14. This sixth annual festival is designed to
showcase “the unique diversity and
accomplishments of New Mexico’s professional
film community and the dynamic creativity
students in the Digital Media Arts and Film
Technology programs at UNM-Valencia.” This year
the festival will be celebrating the recent
breakthrough in Cuban/American relations with a
couple of films, including the documentary feature
One Among Thousands, which follows Santa Fe
musician Victor Alvarez on a joyful return to his
place of birth, Havana. Alvarez will be present for
a Q&A and will offer a special music performance
after the film. Jason DeBoer’s locally shot featurelength thriller Dead River will also be screened,
alongside shorts like Ann Bromberg’s “Gaby,”
Michael Becker’s “Delivery from Earth” and Ryan
Turri’s “Charlie Burque.” Events will take place
between 10am and 6pm both days at the Student
Community Center on the south side of the UNM
Valencia Campus (280 La Entrada in Los Lunas).
The festival is free and open to the public. a
[64]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Demolition
Grief-based comedy unsuccessfully tries to mix quirky and melancholic
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
here’s no doubt that grief makes us do
funny things. Whether or not it makes us
do comedic things is open to debate.
Hollywood, for its part, seems to think the
latter is perfectly valid, having cranked out
plenty of dramedies about death, loss and
heartbreak. Demolition is certainly one of
them, a tragicomic look at a man struggling
with the death of his wife in ways that are
strange and offbeat and (maybe) funny.
Demolition is directed by Jean-Marc Vallée
(The Young Victoria, Dallas Buyers Club, Wild),
an evidently talented filmmaker who has yet
to establish a particularly notable style or tone
to his work. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal, who
recently traded his A-list film career (Prince of
Persia: The Sands of Time, Zodiac) for more
indie film fare (Enemy, Nightcrawler).
Gyllenhaal is front and center as Davis
Mitchell, an aimless investment banker whose
wife is suddenly killed in an auto accident.
Davis responds mostly by going completely
numb. He continues to show up at work. He
stays up all night staring at nature programs on
TV. He even practices crying in the mirror at
his wife’s wake. But nothing seems to kick start
his ability to feel. Heck, maybe he never had it
to begin with.
As we watch Davis’ quiet meltdown, we
come to realize he probably wasn’t ever quite
happy with his picture perfect life. He cheated
his way through college. He was handed his
six-figure Wall Street job by his father-in-law
(Chris Cooper). He’s bored with his
ultramodern Brooklyn home. And maybe he
wasn’t really in love with his wife (the
luminous Heather Lind from “TURN:
Washington’s Spies” and Mistress America,
here reduced to a series of mostly silent
flashback cameos). Whatever the truth may
be, Davis is clearly reacting badly to his wife’s
T
Demolition
Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée
Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Naomi Watts, Chris Cooper
Rated R
Opens Thursday 4/7
untimely passing—mostly by adopting an
assortment of quirky behaviors.
Chief among these quirks is Davis’ reaction
to a piece of advice from his father-in-law, who
tells him that the surest way to fix something
that’s broken is to take it apart. Davis takes the
advice literally, tearing his refrigerator to bits
in order to correct a tiny leak his wife once
pointed out. From there he graduates to
dismantling his computer, a couple of wall
sconces and a bathroom stall at work. Funny,
no? Or sad. I don’t know. Both, probably.
That’s pretty much the name of the game
around here.
Demolition is narrated in a voiceover by
Davis—giving us our our only real insight into
his deteriorating state of mind. While in the
emergency room following his wife’s death, he
pumped some quarters into a vending
machine, which subsequently failed to hand
over a packet of Peanut M&Ms. Davis takes
the opportunity to obsess over the incident,
crafting a series of lengthy, increasingly
confessional letters to the vending machine
company asking for his money back and
relating the ups and downs of his now-aborted
marriage. These letters form the basis of the
film’s narration.
Eventually, the letters fall into the hands of
a downtrodden customer service representative
named Karen (the always welcome Naomi
Watts), who takes particular interest in Davis’
simmering sadness. The two eventually meet
and form some sort of not-quite-romantic
bond. Though she’s described (by her 15-yearold son, in fact) as a “crazy,” pot-smoking
single mother, we end up having to take the
film’s word for it. Weirdly, the script never
bothers to tell us much about Karen as a
person. Instead, Davis ends up spending most
of his time (demolishing things, as it turns out)
with Karen’s surly kid, Chris (newcomer Judah
Lewis).
Chris is emblematic of the film’s separation
from everyday reality. He’s a 15-year-old boy
who—as evidenced by his love for ancient
blues rock, his cracked-nail-polish-andanimal-print-scarf fashion sense, the drum kit
in his mom’s garage and the collection of
Creem magazine posters in his room—dreams
of becoming Mick Jagger or David Bowie, circa
1973. It’s doubtful any child born after the
year 2000 would have such retro-fabulous life
goals, but Demolition seems to think it’s a
perfectly reasonable character sketch.
Demolition has plenty of moments that
work—most of them thanks to the clearly
committed Mr. Gyllenhaal, who’s working as
hard as he can to project hidden pain and
oddball vulnerability. But the film surrounding
him is all over the map in terms of story and
tone. It hops around so much, juggling
characters and bizarre behavior, that
everything ends up feeling rather frivolous. It
keeps dropping drama bombs, hoping that
they’ll have an impact, but melodramatic plot
twists are not the same as well-motivated,
character-based catharsis.
As a director Vallée has a solid eye for
details. The mound of flowers and food
containers piled up, untouched, outside Davis’
front door speaks to his total avoidance of his
wife’s death far more succinctly than does his
overly metaphorical fixation on breaking
things. When the dust settles, it’s the script
(by unknown writer Bryan Sipe) that has
failed here. It simply collapses after piling on
the quirky clichés and trying furiously to
convince its audience that craziness is the best,
most whimsical solution to life’s toughest
problems. a
Classic Performances . . . Classic Theatre
TM
New Mexico Philharmonic
Music and Arts Festival: Silent Films
™
6 p.m. pFriday, April 8
New Mexico Jazz Workshop
Kevin Eubanks
7 p.m. pSaturday, April 9
New Mexico Young Actors
Disney’s Alice in Wonderland Jr.
2 p.m. pSaturday, April 16 & Sunday, April 17
Photo by Barry Schwartz
Albuquerque Film and Music Experience
Screenings and Events Daily
Monday, April 18 through Sunday, April 24
City of Albuquerque Senior Affairs with
De Oro Productions
Tarde del Oro
1:30 p.m. pThursday, April 28
FUSION Theatre Company
NM Academy of Rock & Blues Fundaiser
TM
I
7 p.m. p Friday, April 29
The Country House
Pay What You Wish Performance
7 p.m. p Saturday, April 30
www.KiMoTickets.com
Cultural
Cultural
Richard J. Berry, Mayor
City ofServices, City of Albuquerque,
J.
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[65]
TELEVISION | IDIOT BOX
Back in the game
“Dice” on Showtime
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
hroughout the late ’80s and early ’90s,
standup comedian Andrew Dice Clay was
riding high on a wave of explosive
popularity. The controversial comic was playing
to huge stadium crowds and became an icon of
the MTV generation—even though he was
“banned for life” from the music network for
reciting his trademark adult nursery rhymes on
the 1989 MTV Video Music Awards. But just as
fast as he ascended, he seemed to vanish from
the pop cultural radar, popping up occasionally
in such unglamorous places as “Celebrity
Apprentice.” Now the Diceman is mounting his
umpteenth comeback bid, a self-mocking sitcom
on Showtime that strikes a surprisingly balanced
tone between brutally honest confessional and
raunchy comedy.
Clay’s absence from the spotlight and his
recent turn toward the more serious (he offered
an unexpectedly solid acting turn in Woody
Allen’s 2013 film Blue Jasmine) have put him in
a good position for “Dice.” The show is the
creation of Scot Armstrong, who wrote such big
screen comedies as Road Trip, Old School, Starsky
& Hutch and The Hangover, Part II. Semiautobiographical in nature, the show casts Clay
as an exaggerated version of himself—which
isn’t too shocking, since he’s almost always been
an exaggerated version of himself. This Andrew
Dice Clay is a washed-up former comic who had
his shot at superstardom and has now moved to
Las Vegas in hopes of securing a regular comedy
gig. He’s failed at that and is supporting himself
and his live-in girlfriend Carmen (fellow comic
Natasha Leggero), mostly by gambling the dregs
of his fortune.
T
In the pilot episode Dice and his best
pal/enabler Milkshake (Kevin Corrigan from
Goodfellas, Kicked in the Head and “Grounded
for Life”) try to make it to Carmen’s brother’s
wedding, only to lose themselves in a pyrrhic
battle against a $5 ATM fee and an increasingly
awful beatdown at the blackjack table. It’s a
comedy of discomfort and bad decisions, and
Clay proves adept at it.
To his credit, the comedian/actor seems
happy to mock his public persona. This Andrew
Dice Clay is a happily self-deluded has-been
trying to impress people with his long-gone
fame. In the opening sequence, for example, he
recites his life story for the edification of the
audience—and also for the window replacement
salesman he’s trying to talk out of jacked-up
“celebrity prices.” The guy, of course, has no
clue who Andrew Dice Clay is.
Occasionally, the cast looks like it’s still
trying to nail down the right rhythm with one
another, and the tone isn’t always perfect. (Is
this funny-sad or sad-funny?) But the cast is
solid and the dialogue-heavy scripts feature
some clever back-and-forth patter. (Carmen:
“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?” Dice:
“Yes, but not in the way you think.”) In addition
to charting the decline of its title character, the
show also serves as an elegy for the sort of Old
School Las Vegas in which the Diceman would
surely have thrived. Observing the roller
coasters and oxygen bars of today’s Sin City,
Milkshake points out that, “Sinatra, back in the
day, wasn’t doing oxygen shots.”
Funny, self-deprecating, occasionally cringeinducing and still a bit rude (if slightly
apologetic about it now), this “Dice” has got
potential as a vehicle for Dice. a
“Dice” premieres Sunday, April 10, at 10:30pm on
Showtime.
THE WEEK IN
SLOTH
THURSDAY 7
“American Idol” (KASA-2 7pm)
“American Idol” shuffles off this mortal
coil by crowning a final idol on its
series finale. But how, in a post-“Idol”
world, will we know what singers to
ignore on iTunes? ... Other than by
watching the 23 other singing
competitions on TV right now?
“2016 WWE Hall of Fame Induction
Ceremony” (USA 8pm) Sting, Big
Boss Man, The Fabulous Freebirds and
Joan Lunden are among this year’s ...
Wait. Did I just say Joan Lunden?
“Party Down South: Reunion—The Final
Funnel” (CMT 11pm) What has the
cast of CMT’s redneck reality show
been doing since the seventh season
finale ended it all earlier tonight? ...
Binge drinking, you say? Imagine that.
SATURDAY 9
The Cheerleader Murders (Lifetime
6pm) Cheerleaders: Always an
excellent choice for horror movies or
pornographic films.
Nothing Left Unsaid: Gloria Vanderbilt &
Anderson Cooper (HBO 7pm)
Journalist Anderson Cooper examines
the life and legacy of his mother,
fashion icon Gloria Vanderbilt.
SUNDAY 10
“The Other Kingdom” (Nickelodeon
5pm) Princess Astral leaves the fairy
world behind for a chance to enroll in
human high school in Nick’s newest
fantasy sitcom. ... I gotta say, princess,
you’ve made a very poor life choice.
“The Girlfriend Experience” (Starz 6pm)
Starz turns Steven Soderbergh’s 2009
sex drama about a prostitute who
spends the night with clients into a
weekly series.
“2016 MTV Movie Awards” (TV
Land/BET/VH1/Comedy/MTV 6pm)
The Rock and Kevin Hart host. ... That
or they’re starring in a “Sesame Street”
sketch about the difference between
“big” and “small.”
FRIDAY 8
“Adult Swim Golf Classic” (Cartoon
Network 12:30am) Comedians Jon
Daly and Adam Scott star as noted
historical golfers Jon Daly and Adam
Scott in this goofball sports special set
in 1966. Don’t bother trying to
understand. Just watch.
[66]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
MONDAY 11
“Cupcake Wars” (Food 6pm) Food
Network is in a video game mood
tonight. Celebrities Mel B, Mayim
Bialik, Andy Dick and Jennie Garth
bake Atari-themed cupcakes. OK, this
makes less sense than Joan Lunden at
the WWE Hall of Fame.
“Hunters” (Syfy 8:06pm) An FBI agent
with PTSD searches for his missing wife
and finds a secret government agency
fighting alien terrorists. This sci-fi drama
is based on Whitley Strieber’s novel
Alien Hunter.
“The Detour” (TBS 7pm) Married comedy
couple Jason Jones and Samantha Bee
created this manic sitcom about a
family (led by Jones) whose week-long
vacation goes increasingly off the rails.
TUESDAY 12
“Game of Silence” (KOB-4 9pm) In this
twisty drama, a successful Atlanta
attorney’s life is turned upside down
when his long-lost childhood friends
show up talking about getting revenge
for a 25-year-old incident that got them
six months in what looks like the same
sadistic juvenile detention center Brad
Pitt, Jason Patric and Billy Crudup
wound up in in Sleepers.
WEDNESDAY 13
“Strong” (KOB-4 8pm) Professional
volleyball player Gabrielle Reece hosts
this exercise reality show in which 10
women from various backgrounds pair
up with elite male trainers to “embark
on a journey of both mental and
physical self-improvement.”
“The Last Panthers” (Sundance 11pm)
An insurance investigator (Samantha
Morton, Minority Report) goes after a
mysterious gang of European jewel
thieves in this six-part crime series. a
by Devin D. O’Leary
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that are fully disclosed in the finance agreement. Customers are advised to read agreements fully before signing. All illustrations similar. "Mfg. List” is published suggested retail prices and does not necessarily reflect the selling price in the area. For comparison only. Not responsible for typographic errors. * LOW PRICE OR IT’S FREE: Item must be locally advertised in the last seven days and available in local competitor’s stock.. Must be new, undamaged merchandise, same maker, same model, same fabric/color/finish. No “as-is,” demos or closeouts. Competitor’s ad must be presented at beginning of transaction. Prior purchases excluded. (1) SAME DAY DELIVERY offered on in-stock merchandise when delivery can be completed within normal business hours. Geographic and other limitations apply. Copyright © 2016 Country Dan’s — Reproduction Prohibited
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[67]
FILM | CAPSULES
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
drones. South African Gavin Hood (X-Men Origins:
Wolverine, Ender’s Game) directs. 102 minutes. R.
(Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio)
OPENING THIS WEEK
Bill
God’s Not Dead 2
Commemorating the 400th anniversary of William
Shakespeare’s death is this BBC-produced, Monty Pythonesque spoof about a hapless lute player named Bill, who’s
kicked out of his band and tries his hand at playwriting.
Hijinks ensue. This adventure-comedy comes from the
principal performers behind the cult-fave BBC children’s
series “Horrible Histories” and “Yonderland.” 110 minutes.
PG. (Opens Monday 4/12 at Century 14 Downtown)
Faith-based audiences flocked to see 2014’s evil atheist
college professor drama God’s Not Dead. In this spiritual
(in more ways than one) sequel, a high school teacher
goes to court to defend her in-class love of Jesus. (See,
not all teachers are godless heathen.) Unfortunately evil
atheist lawmakers are trying to stand in her way. By
proving that God is dead. In court. Basically, this is Miracle
on 34th Street, but with Jesus instead of Santa. Melissa
Joan Hart, Jesse Metcalfe, Ray Wise, Robin Givens, Ernie
Hudson and Pat Boone (!) are among the random, C-list
Hollywood cast. 121 minutes. PG. (Rio Rancho Premiere
Cinema, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century Rio, Icon
Cinemas Albuquerque)
The Boss
Melissa McCarthy (“Mike & Molly,” Bridesmaids) stars as a
famed business mogul/financial guru who is sent to
prison after she’s caught for insider trading. When she gets
out of prison, she’s forced to work off her community
service by helping a Girl Scouts-esque organization with
their annual baked goods-based fundraiser. Naturally, she
seizes on the opportunity to rebuild her financial empire
and get revenge on everyone who screwed her over—one
brownie at a time. 99 minutes. R. (Opens Thursday 4/7 at
Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque,
Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown,
Century Rio)
The Brainwashing of My Dad
Filmmaker Jen Senko tries to make sense of her father’s
“brainwashing” by today’s right-wing political movement.
How did he go from a John F. Kennedy backer in the
1960s to a Rush Limbaugh-loving “ditto-head” 50 years
later? By interviewing media luminaries, cognitive linguists
and grassroots activists such as Noam Chomsky, Steve
Rendell, Jeff Cohen, Eric Boehlert, George Lakoff, Claire
Conner and others, this seriocomic documentary reveals
our country’s shift toward conservativism in the last 30
years—largely thanks to corporate media manipulation. 90
minutes. Unrated. (Opens Monday 4/11 at Guild Cinema)
Hardcore Henry
Requiem for the American Dream
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Billed as the “definitive discourse with Noam Chomsky,”
this film covers four years’ worth of interviews with the
noted intellectual. Topics cover his life of activism, his
political participation and a full half a century of American
legislative policies designed to favor the wealthy at the
expense of the majority. 75 minutes. Unrated. (Opens
Monday 4/11 at Guild Cinema)
Batman and Superman duke it out in a grimdark setting
that involves lots of glowering, real estate-flattening
explosions and concrete-colored costumes. The action is
frenetic, the production design is faithful to its comic book
roots and there’s plenty of fan service—but the film just
doesn’t differentiate its heroes enough for the longawaited confrontation to feel particularly justified. Batman
and Superman are now both dark, brooding, murderous
vigilantes feared by polite society. This crowded, lengthy
film wastes a lot of energy setting up future Justice League
films, but doesn’t spend enough time being fun or
escapist or particularly entertaining. Reviewed in v25 i12.
153 minutes. PG-13. (Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Icon
Cinemas Albuquerque, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema,
Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio)
Sardaar Gabbar Singh
In this typical Tollywood masala (an Indian mash-up of all
genres from Western to kung fu to cop drama to romance
to musical), a manly, mustachioed police inspector in the
former princely state of Rattanpur falls in love with a
lonesome princess and locks horns with an evil feudal
landlord. Pawan Kalyan and Kajal Aggarwal star. In Telugu
with English subtitles. 165 minutes. Unrated. (Opens
Thursday 4/7 at Century Rio)
Demolition
Song of the Sea
Reviewed this issue. 100 minutes. R. (Opens Thursday
4/7 at Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio)
From Oscar-nominated Irish animator Tomm Moore (The
Secret of Kells) comes this gorgeous, storybook cartoon
about a young girl named Saoirse, who turns out to be the
last of the selkies, a mythical race of people who can
transform from human to seal. The simple, unhurried story
is aimed mostly at small children. But the mystical
atmosphere, ethereal music and painstaking imagery will
appeal to fantasy fans of all ages. 93 minutes. PG. (Opens
Thursday 4/7 at SUB Theater)
Hardcore Henry
This gimmicky, nonstop action flick is shot entirely in firstperson (with a GoPro camera), through the eyes of the
main character. Yes, it looks just like a FPS video game.
Having just been resurrected from death with no memory,
our hero wakes up in the unfamiliar city of Moscow where
he must discover his identity and save his wife from an
evil warlord with a plan to bioengineer cybernetic
supersoldiers. Sharlto Copley (The A-Team) and Tim Roth
(Reservoir Dogs) are the few recognizable faces among
the mostly Russian cast and crew. 96 minutes. R. (Opens
Thursday 4/7 at Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon
Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX,
Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio)
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
This massive, madcap, incredibly long (three and a half
hour) comedy from 1963 is famously overflowing with
stars (Spencer Tracy, Milton Berle, Sid Caesar, Buddy
Hackett, Ethel Merman, Mickey Rooney, Phil Silvers,
Jonathan Winters, Edie Adams, Jim Backus, Joe E. Brown,
Peter Falk, Norman Fell, Stan Freberg. Buster Keaton, Don
Knotts, Zasu Pitts, Carl Reiner, Jimmy Durante ... it just
keeps going). The thin excuse for cinema’s biggest chase
scene is that a dying thief has left clues to the location of
his buried fortune, kicking off a nutty cross-county rush to
recover the loot. 205 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Sunday
4/10 at Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio)
Midnight Special
Up-and-coming indie director Jeff Nichols (Take Shelter,
Mud) reunites with actor Michael Shannon for this
intriguing little exercise in mid-’80s Spielbergian
wonderment. In it, a father and son go on the run from
mysterious government types after dad learns that his kid
possesses special powers. It’s mostly a slow, moody chase
film, but the emotions hit harder that you might expect for
such a modest experiment in genre filmmaking. 112
minutes. PG-13. (Opens Friday 4/8 at Century 14
Downtown, Century Rio)
[68]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
Trapped
This documentary—co-presented by University of New
Mexico Nursing Students for Choice, Planned Parenthood
and Respect NM Women—details the hundreds of
restrictive laws that have been passed by conservative
state legislatures (collectively know as TRAP laws) in an
effort to inhibit access to abortion clinics. In many cases
the increased costs of compliance and the fear of violence
have driven these health centers out of business, leaving
many poor and uninsured American women with little or
no options. 80 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Sunday 4/10 at
Guild Cinema)
STILL PLAYING
Deadpool
Ryan Reynolds single-handedly tries to rescue his cult
superhero for the horribly botched 2009 film X-Men
Origins: Wolverine. He succeeds beyond the wildest
dreams of most comic book fans. In this self-mocking
parody, he stars as a brain-addled mercenary who gains
incredible healing powers but loses his good looks thanks
to a little mad science. Boil it down and the film is your
basic “get revenge on the bad guy and rescue the
girlfriend” plot. But the third-wall-breaking humor, raunchy
sex and over-the-top violence make this a shockingly fun
“adult” action comedy. Reviewed in v25 i6. 108 minutes.
R. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown,
Century Rio)
The Divergent Series: Allegiant—Part 1
The third film in the Divergent trilogy shows up, and—par
for the course—it’s part one of two. Following the “Earth
shattering” revelations of Insurgent (their words, not
mine), pouty but special rebel girl Tris (Shailene Woodley)
must lead her futuristic millenials in a rebellion against
the evil totalitarian government. Fans know what they’re in
for. 121 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema,
Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown,
Century Rio)
Experiments in Cinema v11.4
This low-budget horror-mystery is a “secret” spin-off of the
J.J. Abrams-produced giant monster movie Cloverfield.
John Goodman plays a survivalist who rescues a young
woman (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and stashes her away
in his underground bunker. But is the world really coming
to an end, or is he just a crazy dude? (Given that this is a
sequel to Cloverfield, the surprise ending probably isn’t
much of a surprise.) 105 minutes. PG-13. (Grande 12
Albuquerque IMAX, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century
14 Downtown, Century Rio, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque)
Albuquerque’s annual, six-day festival of all things
cinematic and experimental returns, as always, courtesy of
Basement Films. Short films (and a handful of features)
from around the globe descend on Albuquerque to help
expand the definition of media and expression. This year
focuses on “she-ness” and showcases a wealth of films
directed by female artists. Finnish filmmaker Maarit
Suomi-Väänänen is the special guest, and Chantal
Ackerman’s experimental LGBT feature Je Tu Il Elle will
recieve a 30th anniversary screening. For a complete list
of films, workshops and other events, got to
experimentsincinema.com. (Guild Cinema)
All the Time in the World
Eye in the Sky
10 Cloverfield Lane
In this deeply personal documentary, a family searching
for new perspectives leaves the comforts of home to live
for nine months with their three young children in the
remote wilderness of the Canadian North. 87 minutes.
Unrated. (Guild Cinema)
Col. Katherine Powell (Helen Mirren), a military officer in
command of an operation to capture terrorists in Kenya,
sees her mission escalate when a girl enters the kill zone
triggering an international dispute over the implications of
modern warfare. Alan Rickman and Aaron Paul costar in
this tense suspense drama about the morality of military
Hello, My Name is Doris
Sally Field reestablishes her bona fides with this
comedy/drama/romance about a sixty-something
wallflower who attends a self-help seminar and is inspired
to romantically pursue her much-younger co-worker (Max
Greenfield from “New Girl”). Co-writer/director Michael
Showalter (Wet Hot American Summer, The Baxter,
“Stella”) displays a much more grown-up sense of humor
here, deftly tackling the issue of ageism with the help of
an enormously appealing lead actor. 95 minutes. R.
(Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio, Rio Rancho Premiere
Cinema)
I Saw the Light
Tom Hiddleston and Elizabeth Olsen headline this wellacted but inert biopic about the turbulent life of country
singer Hank Williams. The two leads are magnetic—
particularly Hiddleston, who does an admirable job of
curbing his accent to yodel some notable hillbilly tunes.
Sadly, the script give the actors little to work with by
sidestepping nearly every dramatic incident in the man’s
life. The result is a standard-issue music industry biopic
involving marital infidelity, drinking and all the usual tropes
with almost no curiosity about the reasons behind it all.
Reviewed in v25 i13. 123 minutes. R. (Grande 12
Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio)
Meet the Blacks
An African-American family (named the Blacks) comes
into some unexpected money and moves to Beverly Hills—
at which point the film becomes a parody of The Purge
films. Yup, all crime is made legal for 12 hours and the
new Black home is besieged by violence-happy home
invaders. Weirdest of all, this stars Mike Epps (The
Honeymooners, The Hangover) and not one of the Wayans
brothers. 90 minutes. R. (Century Rio)
Miracles From Heaven
Ben Affleck’s estranged wife Jennifer Garner stars in this
faith-based “true story” about a little girl with a rare
digestive disorder who fell out of a tree and
subsequently—according to the book her mother wrote,
anyway—went to Heaven and met Jesus. Also, she was
cured of her disease. If you paid to see that other “kid
meets Jesus” film Heaven Is For Real, the producers of this
one want your money as well. 99 minutes. PG. (Century
14 Downtown, Century Rio, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema,
Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque)
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2
Having had success with 2002’s super sleeper hit My Big
Fat Greek Wedding and 2003’s TV spin-off “My Big Fat
Greek Life” and ... honestly, not much else, Nia Vardalos
goes back to the well for some romantic comedy cash.
This time around it’s her meddling parents (who, it turns
out, were never properly married) getting hitched. Ethnic
stereotype-based hijinks ensue. 94 minutes. PG-13.
(Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Icon Cinemas
Albuquerque, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14
Downtown, Century Rio)
The Revenant
After a brief flirtation with humor in Birdman or (The
Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) filmmaker Alejandro
González Iñárritu returns to the painfully grim style of his
early films (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel, Biutiful).
FILM | CAPSULES
Leonardo DiCaprio plays a frontiersman leading a furtrapping expedition in 1820 who is abandoned and
betrayed by the men who hired him. What follows is an
extremely brutal tale of survival and (ultimately) revenge.
It’s extravagantly visual and hard to look away from—but
rather punishing. 156 minutes. R. (Century Rio)
Theory of Obscurity: A Film About the
Residents
This mind-bending documentary attempts to tell the story
of influential, avant-garde San Francisco band The
Residents. Since they’re noted as much for their
anonymous (always masked) stage presence as for their
artsy videos, it’s no surprise that the band members have
declined to be interviewed on camera. Filmmakers,
instead, rely on the group’s psychedelic audio/visual
output and copious commentary from the legions of cultlike Residents fans to flesh out the who, what and why. 87
minutes. (Guild Cinema)
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
A journalist, fed up with her life, runs off to war-torn
Afghanistan and Pakistan to cover Operation Enduring
Freedom. Tina Fey, Margot Robbie and Martin Freeman
star in this seriocomic adaptation of Kim Barker’s
nonfiction book The Taliban Shuffle: Strange Days in
Afghanistan and Pakistan. 112 minutes. R. (Rio Rancho
Premiere Cinema)
Zootopia
A plucky country rabbit (Ginnifer Goodwin) dreams of
becoming a tough-as-nails cop in the teeming city of
Zootopia. Unfortunately, the place is run by predators, who
relegate the barrier-busting bunny to meter maid duty. But
when a series of mysterious disappearances rocks the city,
she teams with a self-serving con man of a fox (Jason
Bateman) to crack the case. This funny animal take on
sun-dappled L.A. noir manages to tackle some hot-button
issues (racism, sexism) while still being a colorful,
entertaining Disney romp. Reviewed in v25 i9. 108
minutes. PG. (Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Rio Rancho
Premiere Cinema, Century Rio, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque,
Century 14 Downtown)
FILM | TIMES wEEk oF FrI., APrIL 8-ThUrS., APrIL 14
CENTURY 14 DOWNTOWN
100 Central SW • 1 (800) 326-3264 ext. 943#
Bill Mon 7:00
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Sun 2:00; Wed 2:00,
7:00
Midnight Special Fri-Sun 11:40am, 2:25, 5:10, 7:55,
10:40- Mon-Thu 11:40am, 2:25, 5:10, 7:55
Demolition Fri-Sun 11:50am, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20, 10:10; MonThu 11:50am, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20
Hardcore Henry Fri-Sun 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45, 10:25;
Mon-Thu 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45
The Boss Fri-Sun 12:05, 2:35, 5:05, 7:35, 10:05; Mon-Thu
12:05, 2:35, 5:05, 7:35
Eye in the Sky Fri-Sun 11:55am, 2:30, 5:00, 7:40, 10:15;
Mon-Thu 11:55am, 2:30, 5:00, 7:40
I Saw the Light Fri-Sun 11:05am, 2:00, 4:55, 7:50, 10:45;
Mon-Wed 11:05am, 2:00, 4:55, 7:50; Thu 11:05am, 2:00
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Fri-Sun 11:45am, 2:20, 4:45,
7:15, 9:40; Mon-Thu 11:45am, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Fri-Sun 10:50am,
12:25, 2:10, 3:55, 5:45, 7:25, 9:10, 10:50; Mon-Thu
10:50am, 12:25, 2:10, 3:55, 5:45, 7:25
The Divergent Series: Allegiant—Part 1 Fri-Sat 1:50, 7:30;
Sun-Mon 7:30; Tue-Wed 1:50, 7:30; Thu 1:50
Hello, My Name is Doris Fri-Sun 11:35am, 2:05, 4:35, 7:00,
9:20; Mon-Tue 11:35am, 2:05, 4:35, 7:00; Wed 11:35am;
Thu 11:35am, 2:05, 4:35
Miracles From Heaven Fri-Sun 10:55am, 1:45, 4:25, 7:10,
10:00; Mon-Thu 10:55am, 1:45, 4:25, 7:10
10 Cloverfield Lane Fri-Sat 11:00am, 4:40, 10:20; Sun
4:40, 10:20; Mon 11:00am; Tue-Thu 11:00am, 4:40
Zootopia Fri-Sun 11:10am, 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:50; Mon-Thu
11:10am, 1:55, 4:30, 7:05
Deadpool Fri-Sat 11:30am, 2:15, 5:15, 8:00, 10:40; Sun
8:00, 10:40; Mon-Wed 11:30am, 2:15, 5:15, 8:00; Thu
11:30am, 2:15
CENTURY RIO
I-25 & Jefferson • 1 (800) 326-3264
It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Sun 2:00; Wed 2:00,
7:00
Sardaar Gabbar Singh Fri-Sat 9:00
The Boss Fri-Sat 11:30am, 12:50, 2:15, 3:35, 5:00, 6:20,
7:45, 9:05, 10:30, 11:50; Sun-Thu 11:30am, 12:50, 2:15,
3:35, 5:00, 6:20, 7:45, 9:05, 10:30
Midnight Special Fri-Thu 1:10, 4:15, 7:20, 10:25
Demolition Fri-Thu 1:45, 4:35, 7:25, 10:15
Hardcore Henry Fri-Thu 11:45am, 2:30, 5:15, 8:00, 10:45
God’s Not Dead 2 Fri-Thu 12:35, 3:45, 6:55, 10:05
Eye in the Sky Fri-Thu 1:50, 4:40, 7:30, 10:20
Meet the Blacks Fri-Thu 11:35am, 2:20, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35
I Saw the Light Fri-Thu 12:45, 4:00, 7:15, 10:25
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 3D Fri-Thu 1:30,
5:10, 8:50
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Fri-Sat 11:40am,
12:35, 2:25, 3:20, 4:15, 6:05, 7:00, 7:55, 9:45, 10:40,
11:35; Sun-Thu 11:40am, 12:35, 2:25, 3:20, 4:15, 6:05,
7:00, 7:55, 9:45, 10:40
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Fri-Sat 12:25, 1:45, 3:10,
4:30, 5:55, 7:10, 8:40, 10:00, 11:25; Sun-Thu 12:25,
1:45, 3:10, 4:30, 5:55, 7:10, 8:40, 10:00
Hello, My Name is Doris Fri-Thu 11:35am, 2:15, 4:55, 7:35,
10:10
The Divergent Series: Allegiant—Part 1 Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:35,
6:45, 9:55
Miracles From Heaven Fri-Thu 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:50
10 Cloverfield Lane Fri-Sat 1:50, 4:45, 7:40, 10:35; Sun
7:40, 10:35; Mon 1:50, 4:45, 7:40, 10:35; Tue 1:50,
10:35; Wed 1:50, 4:45, 7:40, 10:35
Zootopia Fri-Thu 11:40am, 1:10, 2:40, 4:10, 5:40, 7:10,
10:10
Deadpool Fri-Thu 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05
The Revenant Fri-Sat 11:30am, 3:10, 10:30; Sun 3:10,
6:50, 10:30; Mon-Tue 11:30am, 3:10, 10:30
COTTONWOOD STADIUM 16
Cottonwood Mall • 897-6858
Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times.
GRANDE 12 ALBUQUERQUE IMAX
3810 Las Estancias SW •
The Boss Fri-Thu 12:00, 12:30, 5:00, 7:30, 10:00
Hardcore Henry Fri-Thu 12:10, 1:10, 2:35, 3:35, 5:00, 6:00,
7:25, 8:25, 9:50
I Saw the Light Fri-Thu 12:00, 5:30
God’s Not Dead 2 Fri-Thu 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice—An IMAX
Experience Fri-Thu 3:25, 6:50
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice—An IMAX 3D
Experience Fri-Thu 12:00, 10:15
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 3D Fri-Thu 6:30
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Fri-Thu 12:30, 3:10,
4:00, 7:25, 10:00
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Fri-Thu 12:00, 2:25, 4:50,
7:15, 9:40
Miracles From Heaven Fri-Thu 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40
The Divergent Series: Allegiant—Part 1 Fri-Thu 8:00
10 Cloverfield Lane Fri-Thu 2:55, 8:25
Zootopia Fri-Thu 12:00, 12:30, 1:30, 2:40, 4:10, 5:20, 6:50,
9:30
GUILD CINEMA
3405 Central NE • 255-1848
Experiments in Cinema v11.4 Fri-Sun call for films and
times
Theory of Obscurity: A Film About the Residents Sat 11:00
All the Time in the World Sat 1:00
Trapped Sun 7:00
Requiem for the American Dream Mon-Thu 4:30, 8:15
The Brainwashing of My Dad Mon-Thu 6:15
HIGH RIDGE
12910 Indian School NE • 275-0038
Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times.
ICON CINEMAS ALBUQUERQUE
13120-A Central Ave. SE • 814-7469
The Boss Fri-Tue 12:15, 12:45, 2:35, 3:05, 4:55, 5:25, 7:15,
7:45, 9:35, 10:05; Wed-Thu call for film times
Hardcore Henry Fri-Tue 1:00, 1:30, 3:15, 3:45, 5:30, 6:00,
7:45, 8:15, 10:00, 10:30, 10:40; Wed-Thu call for film
times
God’s Not Dead 2 Fri-Tue 11:30am, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10;
Wed-Thu call for film times
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Fri-Tue 12:35, 1:05,
3:45, 7:00, 7:30, 10:10; Wed-Thu call for film times
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 3D Fri-Tue 4:15; WedThu call for film times
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Fri-Tue 12:35, 2:50, 5:05,
7:15, 9:30; Wed-Thu call for film times
Miracles From Heaven Fri-Tue 11:30am, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00;
Wed-Thu call for film times
10 Cloverfield Lane Fri-Tue 9:300; Wed-Thu call for film
times
Zootopia Fri-Tue 11:35am, 2:00, 4:25, 6:50, 9:20; Wed-Thu
call for film times
MOVIES 8
4591 San Mateo NE • 1 (800) Fandango, express # 1194
The Boy Fri-Thu 1:10, 7:20
Gods of Egypt 3D Fri-Thu 3:40, 10:10
Gods of Egypt Fri-Thu 12:30, 7:00
The Brothers Grimsby Fri-Thu 9:20
The Other Side of the Door Fri-Thu 11:40am, 2:40, 6:20,
9:30
The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:50, 7:40
The 5th Wave Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:20, 6:30, 9:50
How to Be Single Fri-Thu 4:10, 10:20
Kung Fu Panda 3 3D Fri-Thu 1:20, 4:00, 6:40, 9:20
Kung Fu Panda 3 Fri-Thu 11:50am, 2:30, 5:10, 8:00
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 11:30am, 9:40
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 2:50, 6:10
MOVIES WEST
9201 Coors NW • 1 (800) Fandango, express # 1247
The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 12:50, 4:40, 8:30
The Other Side of the Door Fri-Thu 1:00, 4:00, 6:50, 9:50
Gods of Egypt 3D Fri-Thu 3:50, 10:05
Gods of Egypt Fri-Thu 12:40, 7:10
The Brothers Grimsby Fri-Thu 10:15
The 5th Wave Fri-Thu 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30
How to Be Single Fri-Thu 12:10, 3:10, 6:10, 9:10
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 3:40, 10:10
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 12:20, 7:00
Kung Fu Panda 3 3D Fri-Thu 1:30, 4:30, 7:30
Kung Fu Panda 3 Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00
RIO RANCHO PREMIERE CINEMA
1000 Premiere Parkway • 994-3300
The Boss Fri-Thu 11:30am, 2:10, 5:00, 7:50, 10:30
Hardcore Henry Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:40, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40
Hello, My Name is Doris Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:00, 5:45, 8:30
God’s Not Dead 2 Fri-Thu 11:10am, 2:15, 5:20, 8:25
My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 Fri-Thu 11:30am, 2:00, 4:25,
7:00, 9:30
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 3D Fri-Thu 12:30,
4:40, 7:40
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Fri-Thu 11:05am,
1:10, 2:40, 4:05, 6:15, 8:20, 9:50
The Divergent Series: Allegiant—Part 1 Fri-Thu 11:05am,
2:10, 5:15, 8:20
Miracles From Heaven Fri-Thu 1:05, 3:45, 6:30, 9:20
10 Cloverfield Lane Fri-Thu 11:35am, 4:55, 10:20
Zootopia 3D Fri-Thu 12:20, 5:50
Zootopia Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:55, 3:05, 4:40, 7:40, 8:35,
10:25
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Fri-Thu 2:10, 7:35
Deadpool Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:05, 5:50, 8:35
SUB THEATER
UNM (Student Union Building Room 1003) • 277-5608
Song of the Sea Fri-Sun 6:00, 8:00; Mon 1:00, 3:00
The Danish Girl Thu 7:00
UNM MIDWEEK MOVIES
UNM (Student Union Building Room 1003) • 277-4706
The Hateful Eight Tue 8:00; Wed 4:00, 7:00; Thu 3:30
WINROCK STADIUM 16 IMAX & RPX
2100 Louisiana Blvd. NE • 881-2220
Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times.
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[69]
Look for us in the West Bluff Shopping Center just across
from the Home Depot - right next to HR Block.
Conviently located at Coors and I-40 — follow signs
for the frontage road or Ouray Road off of I-40
For more info or directions
call us at (505) 200-9060
THUR
DENA DEROSE TRIO
7
Grammy nominated jazzbased vocalist-pianist
FRI
AMJAD ALI KHAN &
SONS & RAHIM ALHAJ
APR
7:30PM
APR
8
7:30PM
SAT
APR
9
7:30PM
THUR
Westside: 5201 Ouray NW Suite E (Coors and I-40) (505) 200-9060
Uptown: 2325 San Pedro NE Suite 2D (San Pedro & Cutler) (505) 200-9366
Sign up for our newsletter at rgreenleaf.com
Medzen Is
Now Open In
Nob Hill!
Look for us on the south side of Central Avenue
just east of Morningside. Off-Street Parking Available!!
Open Tuesday - Friday 10am -5:30pm Saturday 11 - 4pm
For more info or directions call us at (505) 200-2367
Westside: 10660 Unser Blvd. NW (Unser & McMahon)
Nob Hill: 4014 Central Ave. SE (Central & Morningside)
For more information or to sign up for newsletter visit medzen.info
[70]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
APR
14
7:30PM
Indian Classical Music
& Iraqi oud
At the Albuquerque Academy
WAYNE HORVITZ:
SOME PLACES ARE FOREVER
AFTERNOON
Renowned pianistcomposer with sextet
ARLEN ASHER-PATTI
LITTLEFIELD QUINTET
Two NM Jazz luminaries
A Members Only Event,
become a member today!
210 Yale SE | 505.268.0044 | Student discounts and Rush tickets available! | TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE: OUTPOSTSPACE.ORG
R. Greenleaf
Now Open On
The Westside!
MUSIC | Show Up!
Leeches of Lore
VIA FACEBOOK
Birds of Chicago
NATALIE GINELE MILLER
A Lyrical Introduction to Several
Forms of Concert Music
Jam out this week to hip-hop, EDM, reggae and rock
BY AUGUST MARCH
Lyrical Introduction
o uhm ay, listen bae/ Since you’ve been
dating your phone all day/ Why don’t
you come back down to Earth/ You
spend too much time in cyberspace/ Ok, ok, ok
this shit’s lame/ FaceTime’s the only way I get
laid/ So get off your phone or leave me alone/
Yeah, that would be great” - KYLE “Just A
Picture.”
“S
Thursday
At first I was certain I wouldn’t like the flow
or style of West Coast rapper KYLE. But after
listening to his awkwardly awesome flow,
metafictional shout-outs, quirky, sometimes
retro instrumentation and glitchy polyrhythms I gotta say I dig the dude. Overall, he
reminds me of the poptastic heights hip-hop is
capable of reaching when properly allied with
precise musical intuition and deadly chops. On
tracks such as “Just A Picture” and “Really?
Yeah!” KYLE sounds like the postmodern
descendant of The Fresh Prince, loaded up
with a boom-box full of hilariously knowing
lyrical tirades, sly and complex percussive
moments stuck on repeat and his heart in the
game, eyes on the prize. KYLE brings his super
duper wit and wondrous vision to Launchpad
(618 Central SW) on Thursday, April 7, for an
all-ages performance that starts at 7pm and
costs $16.50. Hey, it ain’t Death Grips or
Flying Lotus, but it doesn’t have to be. Check
it out.
Friday
Marshmello, a mysterious EDM-making entity
who some in the music industry think might
be Chris Comstock, AKA Dotcom, makes an
appearance at the Historic El Rey Theater
(622 Central SW) on Friday, April 8.
Marshmello says that his work revolves around
“deep, fluffy, hybrid melodic sexy trap house,”
and rocks a style that incorporates nods to past
iterations of various EDM genres, but
emphasizes very deep bass and wandering
melodies. Longer, more ornate melodies may
seem counter-intuitive for electronic dance
music, but Marshmello combines them in such
a way that causes just as much joyous,
interpretive dancing as it does headphonefocused freak-outs. His work definitely has a
post-war Asian pop taste to it. That
Marshmello’s identity continues to be a thing
in EDM nation only adds to the the artist’s
allure: We all want to know who this is and
where he came from ... maybe. His show will
run the average 18+ freedom-seeker between
$5-15; beats begin to drop at 9pm that night.
Saturday
Hopefully by Saturday, April 9—having
accomplished aural expeditions both flowing
and bumpalicious—you’ll be ready for some
rocanrol … or in this case its complex, multimusical genre-bending representative. Leeches
of Lore, one of the most accomplished yet still
somewhat evil and underground bands to ever
rise from the metal ashes of post-millennial
Burque, kick off their latest western tour at the
Moonlight Lounge (120 Central SW) on
Saturday evening. The quartet features Noah
Wolters, Andy Lutz, Steve Hammond and Kris
Kirby making music that is inherently
disturbing yet compelling for its intense
attention to hard metal tropes that are often
deconstructed through performance. Just
kidding, sort of. They fucking rock and do that
thing all great rock bands do, sliding from
genre to genre while the Devil trails right
behind, hot on their trail. For five bones, hear
the Leeches of Lore live before they slip away
towards the sea for a bit, beginning at 9pm.
You must be 21 or older to enter unto this
scene.
Sunday
Vocalist Allison Russell and composer/multiinstrumentalist JT Nero, working
collaboratively as Birds of Chicago, make
music that is deep-river, mid-America soul
imbued with rich, plaintive singing and superb
confessional and narrative song-writing.
Verging on the kinda moody, funky yet tuneful
post-’60s R&B and rocking blues aesthetics
that gained mass popularity in the pre-disco
age, Birds of Chicago combine what is
essentially roots music with singer-songwriter
issues and a rocanrol swagger. Russell’s voice is
hauntingly intense, capable of changing from
smoke to fire in a matter of a few beats; Nero’s
ear for evocative instrumentation and solid
writing skills add to the flames. I just listened
to a tune of theirs called “Dim Star of the
Palisades,” and I gotta tell you, it felt good to
burn. Birds of Chicago has two New Mexico
dates on their latest tour in Santa and Burque.
Here in town, catch them at The Cooperage
(7720 Lomas NE) on Sunday, April 10, at
7:30pm for just 15 clams.
Monday
I’d, like, totally go check out a band called
Cloud Kickers International. That’s, like,
totally possible—I tell myself—because they’ll
be gigging at Burt’s Tiki Lounge (313 Gold
SW) on Monday, April 11. Their confident,
lovingly groovy handle on the sonic territories
lying between, upside down and underneath
the three-way borders of hip-hop, soul and
Afro-beat are some of the most highly
excellent sounds emanating from the East
Coast these days. Si8mo Greene’s work focuses
on the West African concept of Sanfoka, or
reaching back to move forward; his
collaborator in the Cloud Kickers
International project is Young Billie, who
came outta the American Musical and
Dramatic Academy in Nueva York. She’s
worked on social justice and music projects,
including the Nu World Art Ensemble.
They’re more than legit; their formidable,
musically and culturally. Their music has an
upbeat basis that embraces peaceful reflection,
good tuneage and great ganja. Fulani Malik
and De Ibrations, Kyle Sutherland and Sun
du Bois offer tour support while locals Ogee
Gold Mine and Sarah One Love open. It’s
only $5 for 21+ music enthusiasts to get in; the
encounter with Jah begins at 9pm. a
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[71]
THIS
!!
THURSDAY!
Wednesday APRIL 6 8:00pm Doors
GASWORKS PRESENTS
ALL DOGS + CRIME LAB
ADULT BEVERAGE + WEED RAT
Thursday APRIL 7 7:00pm Doors
TOOZANY PRESENTS
KYLE
BENZ SHELTON
Friday APRIL 8 7:00pm Doors
NIGHT
DEMON (CA)
SUSPENDED + VISIGOTH (UT)
GENOCIDE + FALLEN PROPHETS
Saturday APRIL 9 8:00pm Doors
TOOZANY PRESENTS
FREDDIE GIBBS
CHAZ FRENCH + THE KROWN
Sunday APRIL 10 11:00pm Doors
PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET
Wednesday APRIL 13 8:00pm Doors
NM CHILD ABUSE
PREVENTION
PARTNERSHIP BENEFIT
SUBLMNL RNSONS + LILMIC + SELF MADE
1 WAY ENT. + G5 FLY ENT. + ROCKY RHODES
ONE(CA) + SYG RECORDS + YUNG TAT
GRIP ALOT RECORDS + MIC FEEDER ENT.
G-L.I.F.E. + MC-X + DERANGED & KRYPTO + DEF-I
VNM & MAFFIETTE 206 + LADY B + DON P
SMALL SITY RECORDS + JJ BEATTRIX + SAC ONE + SUMMON
K.BENALLY & LETSJUSB + & SUNNIIIBLACK
TURNTABLES : DJ ADRENALINE TRUTH + DJ EXOTIC
Friday APRIL 15 8:00pm Doors
COBRA VS MONGOOSE
MF RUKUS + WULFF
Monday APRIL 18 8:00pm Doors
HIGHLY
SUSPECT
AUDIODAMN!
Wednesday APRIL 6 8:00pm Doors
DEZERT BANDITZ PRESENTS
RUSTEDJ JUXX
+ KING MAGNETIC
EXPRESS AND MOE HENDRIX
WOLFMAN JACK + THE FLOOD
CERO DEALA + PAYCHECK STUBBZ
MIC FEEDER ENT + MURDROUS +INVICTUS
O. G. WILLIKERS +CRYOGENIK + KID VERSE
Thursday APRIL 7 8:00pm Doors
AN EVENING WITH
SPAFFORD
Friday APRIL 8 8:00pm Doors
PINK FREUD +PHERKAD
Saturday APRIL 9 8:00pm Doors
BOOMROOTS COLLECTIVE
REBECCA ARSCOTT + HIGH STREET RITUAL
Sunday APRIL 10 3:00pm Doors
WENDY DEWITT + BIG K AND BLUE TRAIN
Monday APRIL 11 7:00pm Doors
AN EVENING WITH
JIMMY THACKERY
Wednesday APRIL 13 8:00pm Doors
DRESSY BESSY + STRANGE MAGIC
Friday APRIL 15 8:00pm Doors
THRUART BENEFIT SHOW:
REVIVA + REBECCA ARSCOTT + DJ BUDDHAFUNK
[72]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
MUSIC | AUrAl FIxATIon
AJ Woods and The Fence
Cassette release party at Guild Cinema
AJ Woods
BY GEOFFREY PLANT
I
’m rummaging around the Plant basement
looking for something specific, coming across
forgotten, half-finished projects, artifacts from the
past. Some of the broken furniture, fishing gear and
old toys slow my search. These items lead down a
shady lane of “remember whens” filled with friendships, secret victories and funny stories. Other junk
in the basement—including the beat up Kenwood
cassette deck that is the object of this subterranean
mission—trigger more hazardous memories that
coalesce upon more recent events, clogging up the
filters in my mind to the point where rummaging
doesn’t just get a bit distracted, it gets stuck. Hoping
to resolve this situation I finally drag the cassette
deck upstairs and hook it up. The only way to hear
this album I’ve got is with a tape player.
The Fence, released by Colorado DIY cassette
tape label, Tinyamp Records, is the latest by local
singer-songwriter AJ Woods—a musician who’s
recent, low stakes Movement in the Grass led me to
compare him to Neil Young and Bill Callahan (Smog).
The same review noted that Woods’ music stands
out from the pack of Americana/folk rock musicians
in the Albuquerque area. His compositions and style
are very much his own. Perhaps this results from
Woods’ beginnings in punk bands like The Young
Ones, only later gravitating away from music where
loud amps and feedback polish the less finished
edges toward a sound where players’ deficiencies or
inauthenticity quickly become apparent. Woods’
chops are grade A, his songs are worthy of a Drag
City release; the musicians who back him are some
of the best from the Albuquerque folk-rock scene.
The 10 tracks on The Fence deal with the more
hazardous class of memories and heavy life experiences that, without an outlet, can mire one in hopelessness and the morass of depression. The
28-year-old Woods said the tunes on The Fence
“are basically a long-exposure of the past 10 years
of my life”. At the age of 16, his mother passed
away. Woods’ “ideas of what mattered in life
changed; I started putting more energy into music
than anything else. It shifted my direction in life.”
The themes and tone are drawn from the emotional
side of life—and a side of life specific to our big small
town. “Every couple years in this town I witness
something that shocks me; since I go through this
Music
Calendar
THURSDAY APRIL 7
VIA YOUTUBE
kind of tragedy-and-loss experience every couple of
years I have to have an outlet. The other day a
friend and I were at the skate park on Third Street
and I-40 and this woman got shot—and may have
been killed—right in the middle of the skate park.
Might have to write a song for that woman ….”
From the haunting, three-chord groove of “Sun
and Moon” to existential lyrics like “Nature does its
own thing/though you think you know shit, and then
you don’t … you’re the one who pissed against the
wind/and the wind is the winner again” in “Making
Plans Alone Against The Wind”, Woods’ songwriting
on The Fence is some of the best of 2016.
Physically tiny, yet massive in content, this cassette
is also the impetus behind the most interesting
sounding record release party so far this year.
Inspired by a performance by Hisao Shinagawa
that followed a documentary about the radical
Japanese activist and singer-songwriter at the Guild
Cinema, Woods approached the owners of
Albuquerque’s independent art-house cinema about
having his own show there. Alibi readers can look
forward to a late night cassette release with a
performance by AJ Woods, backed by musicians
from Wildewood. The music will be preceded by a
reading by author George Christopher Moreno,
whose real-time, first-person story “An Encounter,”
calls to mind a less abstract James Joyce and whose
work has been called “Beckettian” by the LA Times.
You know you want to investigate that descriptor.
Local photographer Johnny Gomez—who
snapped the beautiful photos gracing the cover and
inside of The Fence—will be projecting his work onscreen before and during the reading and musical
performance, making this a not to be missed multimedia extravaganza. In addition to beer cozies, key
chains, patches, this new cassette and other
releases on sale by Woods, Gomez will have prints
available for purchase. There will be popcorn and
Goobers in the lobby.
Just the idea of enjoying this from the cushy
comfort of a theater seat should be enough to draw
the attendance of fans of local fiction, art lovers and
folk-rock freaks. Who knows when there will be
another event like this? So truck on down to the
Guild Cinema on Friday, April 8, at 11pm, and catch
three artists whose crafts represent the primary art
forms that conspire to make a movie: storytelling,
photography and music. The night promises to be
somewhat of a deconstructed film based on the
more dark and hazardous experiences in life, courtesy of AJ Woods and friends. a
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Kailani • Lady Tigress • live painters,
pop-up shops • 9pm • FREE
CORRALES BISTRO BREWERY, Corrales Lightning Hall •
jazz, folk-blues • 6:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
DIRTY BOURBON Mike Chism & Hollowpoint • country, red
dirt • 9pm
DUEL BREWING Hub City Soundsystem • rock, variety •
7pm • ALL-AGES!
LAUNCHPAD KYLE • hip-hop • Benz Shelton • 7pm • $17 •
ALL-AGES! • See “Show Up!”
LOW SPIRITS Spafford • rock, funk • 9pm • $10
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras The Western Hers • country • 6pm •
FREE
OUTPOST PERFORMANCE SPACE Dena DeRose Trio • jazz,
vocals • 7:30pm • $15-$20
RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY Die Polka-schlingel •
German, polka • 6:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
SAVOY WINE BAR & GRILL June Brothers • alternative folk,
Americana • 6pm • FREE
SCALO NORTHERN ITALIAN GRILL Marietta Benevento
Quartet • jazz • 8:30pm
SISTER East Cameron Folkcore • folk, indie • Cowboys and
Indian • rockabilly • 9pm
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe VDJ Dany • Latin • 9pm • Rebel Frog •
funk, hip-hop, old school • 10pm
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Tres Pendejos •
acoustic, reggae • 8pm • FREE
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino DJ Ed Soul • karaoke •
9:30pm
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Bob Tate • solo piano • 6pm • FREE
WINNING COFFEE CO. Above-Average Open Mic • 7pm •
FREE
ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Good Green • blues, reggae •
9pm
FRIDAY APRIL 8
AFRICAN AMERICAN PERFORMING ARTS CENTER, Expo
NM Frank Green • trumpet • UNM Jazz Band • jazz •
7pm • $5-$10 • ALL-AGES!
BIEN SHUR Flashback • variety • 9pm • FREE
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Ukari • The Rats in the Rose Bush •
Thieves • pop punk • Les Gypsys • 9pm • FREE
CARAVAN EAST Quarter Moon • country • 5pm • $5
THE CO-OP Darkness Divided • 6pm • $10
THE COUNTY LINE BBQ Chile Pi • pop, folk, acoustic •
6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
CROWNE PLAZA ALBUQUERQUE Cantina and Ranchers •
Ambrose Rivera • jazz guitar • 5:30pm • FREE •
ALL-AGES!
DIRTY BOURBON Mike Chism & Hollowpoint • country, red
dirt • 9pm
EL REY THEATER Marshmello • EDM • 9pm • $5-$15 • See
“Show Up!”
FIRE & ICE, formerly Lucky’s Lounge LiL Criminal • 7pm •
$5
ISLETA RESORT & CASINO Rachel Platten • pop, indie •
8pm • $30-$40
THE JAM SPOT Anybody Killa • 7pm • $12
LAUNCHPAD Night Demon • heavy metal • Suspended •
metal • Visigoth • metal • Genocide • heavy metal • Fallen
Prophets • metal • 9pm
LAZY LIZARD GRILL, Cedar Crest Odd Dog • classic rock •
7pm • FREE
LEGENDS THEATER @ ROUTE 66 CASINO, I-40 Exit 140
3 Doors Down • rock • 8pm • $95
LOS CUATES, Sandia Park The Rudy Boy Experiment •
rock, blues • 7:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
LOUNGE 54 @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo Lenin &
McCarthy • acoustic, rock, pop • 9pm • FREE
LOW SPIRITS Pink Freud • jazz, trance • Pherkad • funk •
9pm • $5
LUCKY 66 BOWL, DEWAR’S PUB Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK •
9pm
MINE SHAFT TAVERN, Madrid Mr. P Chill • hip-hop •
Lumis • Snail Mate • Mike Colossal • 8pm
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Gene Corbin • Americana • 1:30pm •
Crystal Inferno • blues • 6pm • FREE
MONTE VISTA FIRE STATION The Twisted Owls • blues,
rock • 9pm • FREE
MOONLIGHT LOUNGE Peelander-Z • punk • Get action •
punk • 8:30pm
N’AWLINS MARDI GRAS CAFE Todd Tijerina • blues •
5:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
Music Cal continues on page 74
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[73]
Music Cal continued from page 73
PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Felix y los Gatos • Americana, Creole
funk • all-you-can-eat-pizza • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Mystic Lizard • bluegrass, swing • 7pm
ROUTE 66 CASINO HOTEL, Legends Theatre Spring Fever •
Red Wine Band • variety • 5:30pm
SCALO NORTHERN ITALIAN GRILL The Fabulous Martini Tones •
jazz, lounge • 6pm • Douglass Cardwell Quartet • jazz • 9pm
SHERATON UPTOWN HOTEL Last Call • jazz, blues • 6pm •
ALL-AGES!
SISTER Flashback 80’s Video Music Party • DJ Brad Cole • 9pm • $8
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe DJ Dany • Latin • The Alchemy Party •
variety • 9pm
SPECTATORS - SPORTS BAR & GRILL Zink and The Oxides •
Latin, jazz, blues • 6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo DJ Andy Gil • hip-hop,
EDM • ladies night • 9pm • $0-$10
TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE The Night Knights • pop, funk,
soul • 10pm
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Exit Zero • variety • 9:30pm
VERNON’S OPEN DOOR DJ T-Bone • electronic, variety •
6:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Calvin Appleberry • solo piano, jazz,
R&B • 7pm • FREE
SATURDAY APRIL 9
BEN MICHAEL’S Afternoon Jam • acoustic, singer-songwriter •
1pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
BIEN SHUR Flashback • variety • 9pm
THE BLUE GRASSHOPPER BREW PUB, Rio Rancho Kindred
Green • folk, Americana • 4:30pm
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE St. Range • Youngsville • indie, rock ’n’
roll • Dirty Brown Jug Band • country, bluegrass • Duke City
Riots • No One • 9pm • FREE
THE COOPERAGE Jeffery Broussard • The Creole Cowboys •
8pm • $15
DIRTY BOURBON Josh Abbott Band • country • 6pm • $10 •
Mike Chism & Hollowpoint • country, red dirt • 9pm
DUEL BREWING Pray For Brain • rock, funk • 7pm
THE JAM SPOT Mr. P Chill • hip-hop • Lumis • Mike Colossal •
Out This World Ent. • Jackie Brown • jazz, reggae • The
Propogandist • DJ Shatter • 7pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
KIMO THEATRE Kevin Eubanks • jazz • 7pm • $100 •
ALL-AGES! • See Event Horizon
LAUNCHPAD Freddie Gibbs • rap • 8pm • $20
LOS CUATES, Sandia Park Boulevard Lane • blues, rock, folk •
7:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
LOUNGE 54 @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo Lenin &
McCarthy • acoustic, rock, pop • 9pm • FREE
LOW SPIRITS Boomroots Collective • reggae, hip-hop • Rebecca
Arscott • reggae, calypso • High Street Ritual • rock • 9pm • $5
LUCKY 66 BOWL, DEWAR’S PUB Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK • 9pm
MINE SHAFT TAVERN, Madrid DJ Ginger • 7pm
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Rockamatics • rock • 1:30pm •
Dangerous Curvz • classic rock • 6pm • FREE
MONTE VISTA FIRE STATION Pata D’ Perro • 9pm • FREE
MOONLIGHT LOUNGE Leeches Of Lore Tour Kickoff Show •
Jackhammer • 9pm • $5 • See “Show Up!”
OUTPOST PERFORMANCE SPACE Wayne Horvitz • jazz, piano •
7:30pm • $20
PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Party in the Fireroom • Mala Mana •
Latin, world • all-you-can-eat pizza • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo The Tumbleweeds • Western
swing, honky tonk • 7pm
RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY Dead Rebels • country,
metal, blues • The Broken Rules Band • Double Plow • rock •
3pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
SAVOY WINE BAR & GRILL Kari Simmons GRP • pop, rock,
soul • 6pm • FREE
SCALO NORTHERN ITALIAN GRILL Jackie Zamora • Brazilian
jazz • 9pm
SISTER ShowOff 5.0: Time Travel Science Fair and Talent
Show • Lauren Poole • Zack Freeman • Me and My Wife •
Reighnbeau • 8pm • $10
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Birds of Chicago • folk rock • 7:30pm • $15
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe We <3 Tech • 8:30pm • DJ 12 Tribe • hiphop, reggae, house, old school • 9pm
TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE The Night Knights • pop, funk,
soul • 10pm
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK DJ Clout • rap, hip-hop •
9pm • FREE
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Exit Zero • variety • 9:30pm
VERNON’S OPEN DOOR Shane Wallin • soul, pop • 6:30pm •
FREE • ALL-AGES!
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Lori Michaels • jazz piano, vocals •
7pm • FREE
ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Hello Dollface • soul, pop, indie •
9:30pm
SUNDAY APRIL 10
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Space4lease • Cynical Bird • rock, pop,
Americana • Typical Hairless Ape • 8pm • $5
[74]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
THE COOPERAGE Birds of Chicago • folk, soul • 7:30pm •
$15 • See “Show Up!”
LAUNCHPAD Punk Rock Flea Market • Marma • Virtual Friday •
Zoltan and the Fortune Tellers • variety • 11am • $3
LOW SPIRITS Wendy DeWitt • Big K and Blue Train • 4pm • $7
SUNSHINE THEATER Amon Amarth • Entombed A.D. •
Exmortus • 7:30pm • $22
TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Los Amigos • Latin, jazz • 10pm
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Bob Tate • solo piano • 6pm • FREE
MONDAY APRIL 11
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Cloud Kickers International • hip-hop,
jazz, reggae, soul • Fulani Malik and De Ibrations • Kyle
Sutherland • Sun du Bois • Ogee Gold Mine • Sara One
Love • Lady Selecta Cee • $5 • See “Show Up!”
LIZARD TAIL BREWING Dave and Friends • open mic • 7pm
LOW SPIRITS Jimmy Thackery • blues • 8pm • $12
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Kamikaze Karaoke
Tuesdays • 7pm • FREE
TRACTOR BREWING COMPANY Tractor Tune Up • Virginia
Creepers • 7:30pm • FREE
TUESDAY APRIL 12
BANDIDO HIDEOUT Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK • 8pm • FREE •
ALL-AGES!
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Adem Joel • tech, tribal • Basket O Fries •
Tino Mazon • Deep Roots • art • 9pm • FREE
CARAVAN EAST Point Blank • country • 5pm • FREE
DIRTY BOURBON Lo’Jo • 7:30pm • $20
FIRE & ICE, formerly Lucky’s Lounge Karaoke • VJ ELJAY •
9pm • FREE
LIBRARY BAR AND GRILL Karaoke • DJ Bay-Nee • 8:30pm •
FREE
MINE SHAFT TAVERN, Madrid Cactus Slim & The GoatHeads
Blues Jam • 7pm • FREE
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras The Mikes • variety • 6pm • FREE
N’AWLINS MARDI GRAS CAFE Todd Tijerina • acoustic blues,
folk rock • 5pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
NED’S BAR & GRILL Freddie Chavez • variety • 6pm • FREE
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Ivan Rane • fingerstyle guitar •
6pm
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Kamikaze Karaoke • 7pm •
FREE
ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Bo de Pena • Hartley Hall • Greg
Butera • folk, country • 8pm • FREE
WEDNESDAY APRIL 13
THE COWGIRL BBQ, Santa Fe Silver Crow Asylum •
Americana • 8pm • FREE
DIRTY BOURBON DJ Click • variety • 8:30pm
DISTILLERY 365 Cards Against Humanity Night • game • 7pm •
FREE
EFFEX Phenox • EBM, synthpop, industrial, goth • 9pm • FREE
LAUNCHPAD Sublmnl Rnsons • hip-hop • LilMic • Self Made 1
Way Ent. • B-Eazy • 8pm • FREE (donations encouraged)
LIZARD TAIL BREWING ABQ Jazz Trio Open Jam • 7pm
LOW SPIRITS Dressy Bessy • indie pop • Strange Magic • rock •
8pm
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Bella Luna • acoustic rock • 7pm • FREE
SISTER Leftover Soul • vinyl, soul • 9pm • FREE
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Swing Dance • jazz, swing, big band •
8pm • $5
SUNSHINE THEATER The Front Bottoms • indie, rock •
Brick+Mortar • psychedelic, indie, electronic • Diet Cig •
pop, alternative, indie • 7:30pm • $17
TAYLOR RANCH LIBRARY Lara Ruggles • singer-songwriter •
6pm • FREE
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Whiskey & Women • folk,
cajun • 9:30pm
THURSDAY APRIL 14
DIRTY BOURBON Redneck • country • 9pm
LAUNCHPAD Intervals • metal • Plini • Angel Vivaldi • Save Us
from the Archon • 8pm
LEO’S NIGHTCLUB Fuck Your Feelings Tour • Amanda Perez •
9:30pm • $20-$40
LOMAS-TRAMWAY PUBLIC LIBRARY Lara Ruggles • singersongwriter • noon • FREE
OUTPOST PERFORMANCE SPACE Arlen Asher • Patti Littlefield
Quintet • 7:30pm • $25 • ALL-AGES!
PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Party in the Fireroom • various • 6pm •
$10 • ALL-AGES!
SAVOY WINE BAR & GRILL SWAG • jazz, blues, Motown • 6pm •
FREE
SISTER April LowLife! • 9pm • FREE
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Latin Night with VDJ Dany • 9pm • Lilly
Pad Lounge • Rebel Frog • 10pm
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Karaoke • variety • 9:30pm
WINNING COFFEE CO. Above-Average Open Mic • 7pm • FREE
ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Island of Black and White • rock,
reggae, blues • 9pm
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APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[75]
PTSD EVALUATIONS
for
Medical Cannabis Cards
Are you suffering from symptoms of a
traumatic experience?
You may be suffering from PTSD.
Albuquerque-Area Psychologists On Duty
Zia Health & Wellness Medical Cannabis Program
5401 Lomas Blvd NE, Ste. C | Albuquerque 87110
(505) 299-7873
www.PTSDpsychiatrist.com
straight dope | advice from the abyss
by cecil adams
Why is jury
pay so low?
I was impaneled as a juror in a civil
case. For this privilege, I got paid a
whopping $5 per day—which, if
that wasn't insulting enough, is
considered taxable income. OK,
New Jersey is on the low end of
juror pay. In Maryland, jurors get a
whole $10.50 per day. Why is jury
pay so low?
—David Weintraub
www.MedicalCannabisProgram.com
Zia Health & Wellness | 5401 Lomas Blvd. NE, Ste. C | Abq., NM 87110
Veteran/Military & Senior Discounts | www.facebook.com/ZiaMMJ
Heck, at least you showed up. One study
found that 80 percent of prospective
jurors in Dallas County, Texas, simply
ignored their summons altogether. And
who can blame them? I don’t know your
specific economic situation, David, but I
can think of a lot of people for whom jury
duty’s not merely a petty hassle but an
unaffordable luxury. I think there’s a clear
case to be made that any jury system that
requires folks to work for five bucks a day
isn’t just annoying, it’s plainly
undemocratic.
But let’s back up. Just how bad is this
problem? Well, take federal jurors. In 1968,
they could expect to haul in $20 a day, or
$136 in 2016 dollars. The actual dollars we pay
federal jurors in 2016, however? Only $40 a day,
$50 if their term of service stretches past 10 days—
in other words, just short of the federal minimum
wage for a day’s work. (Federal workers, we’ll note,
have it good—they get paid their regular salary, in
lieu of the usual compensation, to sit on a jury.)
Outside the federal system, things are pretty
patchwork—some states set the rate, and if they
don’t, the counties do. Nationwide, pay generally
doesn’t exceed $50 per day and, As your
experience illustrates, is often much lower: as one
observer crisply pointed out, “Some counties in
South Carolina ... pay jurors minimum wage for an
eight-hour workday—as of 1938.” That amounts, by
the by, to two bucks a day. In some states, rates
improve the longer you sit on the jury:
Pennsylvania, for instance, pays $9 for each of the
first three days and $25 daily thereafter. You might
get lucky and receive compensation for travel, but
on the other hand you might have to pay for
parking: I give you Mobile, Ala., where jurors hearing
cases at the county courthouse take home a
whopping $10 per diem, plus five cents a mile driven
there and back, less the $2 (the special jurors’ rate!)
they’re pretty much forced to put down to leave
their car in the parking lot. (OK, Alabama employers
are required to pay full-time workers for the days
they serve on juries, but that’s little help to those
Alabamans who lack the security of a full-time job.)
And of course there are more invisible costs too, like
child care (Colorado and Minnesota do make some
provisions for this), canceled vacation plans, etc.
As I suggested up top, the implications of this pay
regime are pretty brutal. Let’s say a person who
makes minimum wage (in one of the 40 or so states
without laws like Alabama’s) is forced to skip work
at her full-time job to serve 10 days on a jury, for
which she might take home, say, $100—we’re
looking at a financial disaster. That’s why most
states allow for hardship exceptions, if potential
[76]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
jurors can prove their service would be an undue
burden. In one sense the exception seems merciful.
Viewed another way, though, it’s downright
unconstitutional: Someone’s getting excluded from
meaningful participation in the American democratic
system simply because she can’t afford it—which
may well, according to a 2015 article in the Cornell
Journal of Law and Public Policy, violate the equal
protection clause of the 14th Amendment. Another
paper, from the Columbia Journal of Law and Social
Problems in 2012, argues that because most states
link voter registration with jury service, jury duty
basically constitutes a poll tax: it’s effectively a fee
for casting a ballot. Citizens know they’ll be put on a
jury list if they register to vote; some know they
can’t afford to miss work to sit on a jury; therefore
they don’t register, and subsequently can’t vote.
The paper estimates that up to 7 percent of
American citizens are thus disenfranchised, and
proposes official sources other than voter rolls—tax
or DMV records, for instance—from which potential
jurors’ names could be culled.
Of course, that wouldn’t address the problem that
juror pay is too low to begin with, or explain the root
cause. I don’t think the reason for this execrable set
of affairs is particularly mysterious. You might as
well ask: Why are the country’s highways and
bridges falling apart? What’s the reason for rising
maternal mortality rates, or growing hunger and
homelessness in major cities? What you’re seeing is
the result of austerity and misplaced political
priorities. In Minnesota, juror pay has actually been
cut twice since 2003 due to tight state finances;
last year the governor proposed an increase, but his
plan didn’t make it into the final budget approved by
the legislature. Thus did the state’s pay rate for
jurors remain at a paltry $10 a day. But hey, it’s a
crumbling empire, man. What did you expect?
Send questions to Cecil via straightdope.com or write him c/o
Chicago Reader, 350 N. Orleans, Chicago 60654.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): French artist Henri
Matisse (1869-1954) is regarded as one of the
greats, in the same league as Picasso and Kandinsky.
Even in his eighties, he was still creating marvels that
one critic said seemed “to come from the springtime
of the world.” As unique as his work was, he was
happy to acknowledge the fact that he thrived on the
influence of other artists. And yet he also treasured
the primal power of his innocence. He trusted his
childlike wonder. “You study, you learn, but you guard
the original naiveté,” he said. “It has to be within you,
as desire for drink is within the drunkard or love is
within the lover.” These are good, sweet thoughts for
you to keep in mind right now, Aries.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus-born Kurt Gödel
(1906-1978) was among history’s greatest logicians.
His mastery of rational thought enabled him to exert a
major influence on scientific thinking in the 20th
century. Yet he also had an irrational fear of being
poisoned, which made him avoid food unless his wife
cooked it. One of the morals of his story is that reason
and delusion may get all mixed up in the same
location. Sound analysis and crazy superstition can
get so tangled they’re hard to unravel. The coming
week will be an excellent time to meditate on how this
phenomenon might be at work in you. You now have
an extraordinary power to figure out which is which,
and then take steps to banish the crazy, superstitious,
fearful stuff.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): For a time, pioneer
physicist Albert Einstein served as a professor at the
Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, NJ. On one
occasion, a student complained to him, “The
questions on this year’s exam are the same as last
year’s.” Einstein agreed that they were, then added,
“but this year all the answers are different.” I’m seeing
a similar situation in your life, Gemini. For you, too, the
questions on this year’s final exam are virtually
identical to last year’s final exam—and yet every one
of the answers has changed. Enjoy the riddle.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your personal oracle for
the coming weeks is a fable from 2,600 years ago. It
was originally written by the Greek storyteller Aesop,
and later translated by Joseph Jacobs. As the tale
begins, a dog has discovered a hunk of raw meat lying
on the ground. He’s clenching his treasure in his
mouth as he scurries home to enjoy it in peace. On the
way, he trots along a wooden plank that crosses a
rapidly flowing stream. Gazing down, he sees his
reflection in the water below. What? He imagines it’s
another dog with another slab of meat. He tries to
snatch away this bonus treat, but in doing so, drops
his own meat. It falls into the stream and is whisked
away. The moral of the fable: “Beware lest you lose
the substance by grasping at the shadow.”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “I never get lost because I
don’t know where I am going,” said the Japanese poet
known as Ikkyū. I stop short of endorsing this
perspective for full-time, long-term use, but I think it
suits you fine for right now. According to my
astrological projections, you can gather the exact
lessons you need simply by wandering around
playfully, driven by cheerful curiosity about the
sparkly sights—and not too concerned with what they
mean. PS Don’t worry if the map you’re consulting
doesn’t seem to match the territory you’re exploring.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “If literally every action a
human can perform was an Olympic sport,”
Reddit.com asked its users, “which events would you
win medals in?” A man named Hajimotto said his
champion-level skill was daydreaming. “I can zone out
and fantasize for hours at a time,” he testified. “This is
helpful when I am waiting in line.” You Virgos are not
typically Olympic-class daydreamers, but I encourage
you to increase your skills in the coming weeks. It’ll be
a favorable time for your imagination to run wild and
free. How exuberantly can you fantasize? Find out!
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In his book Strange
Medicine, Nathan Belofsky tells us about unusual
healing practices of the past. In ancient Egypt, for
example, the solution for a toothache was to have a
rob brezsny
dead mouse shoved down one’s throat. If someone
had cataracts, the physician might dribble hot broken
glass into their eyes. I think these strategies qualify as
being antidotes that were worse than the conditions
they were supposed to treat. I caution you against
getting sucked into “cures” like those in the coming
days. The near future will be a favorable time for you
to seek healing, but you must be very discerning as
you evaluate the healing agents.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In his poem “The
Snowmass Cycle,” Stephen Dunn declares that
everyone “should experience the double fire, of what
he wants and shouldn’t have.” I foresee a rich
opportunity coming up for you to do just that,
Scorpio. And yes, I do regard it as rich, even
marvelous, despite the fact that it may initially evoke
some intense poignance. Be glad for this crisp
revelation about a strong longing whose fulfillment
would be no damn good for you!
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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “When I look at
my life I realize that the mistakes I have made, the
things I really regret, were not errors of judgment but
failures of feeling.” Writer Jeanette Winterson said
that, and I’m passing it on to you at the exact moment
you need to hear it. Right now, you are brave enough
and strong enough to deal with the possibility that
maybe you’re not doing all you can to cultivate
maximum emotional intelligence. You are primed to
take action and make big changes if you discover that
you’re not feeling as much as you can about the
important things in your life.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Psychotherapist
Jennifer Welwood says that sadness is often at the
root of anger. Feelings of loss and disappointment and
heartache are the more primary emotions, and rage is
a reflexive response to them. But sadness often
makes us feel vulnerable, while rage gives us at least
the illusion of being strong, and so most of us prefer
the latter. But Welwood suggests that tuning in to the
sadness almost always leads to a more expansive
understanding of your predicament, and it often
provides the opportunity for a more profound selftransformation. I invite you to apply these
meditations to your own life, Capricorn. The time is
right.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The causes of human
actions are usually immeasurably more complex and
varied than our subsequent explanations of them.”
Fyodor Dostoyevsky said that in his novel The Idiot,
and now I’m passing it on to you just in the nick of
time. In the coming weeks, it’s especially important for
you to not oversimplify your assessments of what
motivates people—both those you respect and those
you don’t fully trust. For your own sake, you can’t
afford to naively assume either the best or the worst
about anyone. If you hope to further your own
agendas, your nuanced empathy must be turned up all
the way.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Believing love is work
is certainly better than believing it’s effortless,
ceaseless bliss,” says author Eric LeMay. That’s
advice I hope you’ll keep close at hand in the coming
weeks, Pisces. The time will be right for you to exert
tremendous effort on behalf of everything you love
dearly—to sweat and struggle and strain as you
create higher, deeper versions of your most essential
relationships. Please remember this, though: The hard
labor you engage in should be fueled by your
ingenuity and your creative imagination. Play and
experiment and enjoy yourself as you sweat and
struggle and strain!
HOMEWORK: COMMENT ON BERTRAND RUSSELL’S
STATEMENT, “THE UNIVERSE IS FULL OF MAGICAL
THINGS PATIENTLY WAITING FOR OUR WITS TO GROW
SHARPER.” a
Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s expanded weekly
audio horoscopes and daily text message horoscopes. The audio
horoscopes are also available by phone at (877) 873-4888 or (900)
950-7700.
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APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[77]
Classified
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Am in information if you got last name also.
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BEAUTIFUL TALL BLONDE HAIR
NURSE CAME INTO MY WORK I
HELPED YOU WITH YOUR FISH
You’re a tall blonde nurse that needed help
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you. You also had two dogs in grooming. Wish
you would call so we could know more about
each other better.
RUNNING BARE DID YOU FIND
LITTLE WHITE DOVE?
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I remain lost in longing limerence for you. I
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[78]
WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016
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BY RYAN NORTH
“Bridging the Gap”—getting across is important, too.
by Matt Jones
Across
1 Postgraduate study, perhaps
4 1,550-mile continental range
9 Little demons
13 Hip-hop’s ___ Fiasco
14 “Come Away With Me” singer
Jones
15 “Protein,” in some restaurant
options
16 Go through
18 Sweat source
19 Big shiny building, once you
get past the fence?
21 Fractions of a mi.
22 Bus route divisions
23 “Happy Days” diner
26 “___ a small world”
28 Broadway legend Merman
32 Droid
33 Swimming or floating
37 “Game of Thrones” actress
Chaplin
38 Chuck, at a fancy NYC party?
41 Yellen’s forte, for short
42 “Rare and radiant maiden” of
“The Raven”
43 First responder, briefly
44 “Big Three” meeting site of
1945
46 Mama’s boy?
47 Part of DOS: Abbr.
48 Hipbone-related
52 Anderson who directed
“Rushmore”
54 Last dance theater at the end
of the block?
61 “Ricochet” actor/rapper
62 Resentment of the
successful, in Irish slang
63 2014’s “The ___ Movie”
64 Short-lived NBC drama named
for the outermost section of the
Pentagon
65 Full of malicious intent
66 Border
67 OKCupid meetups
68 B.O. purchases
Down
1 “___ Jr.” (Pixar’s first film,
featuring the lamps now used in
their logo)
2 Kitchen item: Abbr.
3 Like a neglected garden
4 Remove, in a way
5 “The Man Who Fell to Earth”
director Nicolas
6 “I Love Lucy” costar Desi
7 ___-ovo vegetarian
8 “Two and a Half Men” actor
9 Stand-in
10 “Gimme some cat treats”
11 Remove, as a potato peel
12 Hip add-on?
13 “Sweep the ___” (“Karate
Kid” quote)
17 Sign of owing
20 Prop for the course
23 Downton, for one
24 Poet Federico Garcia ___
25 Bar support
27 Affliction of the eyelid
29 Plot flaws
30 Jet, to a Shark, e.g.
31 Hangs in there
34 Raggedy ___
35 Lts.’ subordinates
36 Small floor coverings
39 How some sneak in
40 Virgil epic
45 “Blue Rondo ___ Turk”
(Brubeck song)
49 Cheeky words after reading a
fortune cookie fortune
50 Luxury Hyundai sedan
51 Lawful, informally
53 “Fuller House” actor Bob
54 Word game piece
55 Blasted through
56 Simon of “Hot Fuzz”
57 Aquatic bird
58 Strauss the jeans-maker
59 “Silly Rabbit” cereal
60 “Popeye” surname
©2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords
ANSWERS TO THIS WEEK’S PUZZLE ARE AVAILABLE ONLINE AT ALIBI.COM
APRIL 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
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WEEKLY ALIBI
APRIL 7-13, 2016