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PERFORMING ON CUE SINCE 1992
COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY HUNTER CANNING
VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 01 | JANUARY 7-13 , 2016 | FREE
[2]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[3]
alibi
VOLUME 25 | ISSUE 01 | JANUARY 7-13, 2016
EDITORIAL
MANAGING EDITOR/COPY EDITOR:
Renee Chavez (ext. 255) [email protected]
FILM EDITOR:
Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected]
MUSIC EDITOR:
August March (ext. 245) [email protected]
STAFF WRITER:
Maggie Grimason (ext. 239) [email protected]
Joshua Lee (ext. 239) [email protected]
EDITORIAL INTERNS:
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Cerridwen Stucky [email protected]
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS:
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Arellano, Robin Babb, Rob Brezsny, Shawna Brown,
Suzanne Buck, Carolyn Carlson, Eric Castillo, Mark
Fischer, Ari LeVaux, Ty Bannerman, August March,
Genevieve Mueller, Geoffrey Plant,
Benjamin Radford, Jeremy Shattuck,
PRODUCTION
ART DIRECTOR/PRODUCTION MANAGER:
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STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER:
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CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS:
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Larson, Tom Nayder, Ryan North
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Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content
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Association
of Alternative
Newsmedia
[4]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
Letters should be sent with the writer’s name,
address and daytime phone number via email to
[email protected]. They can also be faxed to (505)
256-9651. Letters may be edited for length and
clarity, and may be published in any medium; we
regret that owing to the volume of
correspondence we cannot reply to every letter.
Word count limit for letters is 300 words.
Burque Needs to Feel
the Bern
Dear Alibi,
Albuquerque, New Mexico and our entire
nation have been presented with a grand
opportunity. There is a once in a lifetime
presidential candidate who is honest, has
integrity and is motivated out of public service
to our people. It is frankly amazing how in
touch Senator Bernie Sanders is with the
needs of our people: “Today, we stand here and
say loudly and clearly that enough is enough.
This great nation and its government belong
to all of the people and not to a handful of
billionaires, their super PACs and their
lobbyists. ... Today, we live in the wealthiest
nation in the history of the world but that
reality means very little for most of us because
almost all of that wealth is owned and
controlled by a tiny handful of individuals. In
America we now have more income and
wealth inequality than any other major
country on Earth, and the gap between the
very rich and everyone else is wider than at
any time since the 1920s. This issue of wealth
and income inequality is the great moral issue
of our time, it is the great economic issue of
our time and it is the great political issue of
our time. Let me be very clear. There is
something profoundly wrong when the top
one-tenth of 1 percent owns almost as much
wealth as the bottom 90 percent and when 99
percent of all new income goes to the top 1
percent. There is something profoundly wrong
when, in recent years, we have seen a
proliferation of millionaires and billionaires at
the same time as millions of Americans work
longer hours for lower wages and we have the
highest rate of childhood poverty of any major
country on Earth. There is something
profoundly wrong when one family owns more
wealth than the bottom 130 million
Americans. This grotesque level of inequality
is immoral. It is bad economics. It is
unsustainable. This type of rigged economy is
not what America is supposed to be about.
This has got to change and as your President,
together we will change this.” Albuquerque
don’t let this grandest of opportunities to elect
an honest leader pass us by. As one of the
poorest states in the union, we can’t afford to
sit by passively and remain downtrodden. It is
time to bring progress back to our people.
Robert P Francis, activist. a
Submit your letters to
[email protected]
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[5]
[6]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
AND
ODDS
ENDS
WEIRD NEWS
The Worst Weird
News of 2015
Dateline: Virginia (May)
A 23-year-old man was arrested after he
posted videos and pictures of himself robbing
a bank on Instagram. Dominyk Antonio
Alfonseca was arrested 22 minutes after he
allegedly used a note to rob the TowneBank
in Virginia Beach. That still gave him enough
time to upload two videos and a photograph
of the note he used to the internet.
Alfonseca’s note read, “I need $150,000 bands
right NOW!! Please. Police take 3 to 4
minutes to get here, I would appreciate if you
Ring the alarm a minute after I am gone...
make sure the money doesn’t blow up on my
way out.” Alfonseca, who identifies himself as
an aspiring rapper, told WTKR-TV in
Hampton Roads that he did not rob the bank
but merely asked “politely” for money. “I don’t
know how I’m a robber because I asked for it,”
said Alfonseca. “She could have said no, and I
could have left.” Alfonseca also used the
television interview to give shout-outs to
Michelle Obama, Justin Bieber and Lady
Gaga.
Dateline: China (June)
A man is suing well-known actress Zhao
Wei because she “stared at him too intently”
through his TV set. Zhao is one of China’s
most famous movie stars and appears on the
prime-time TV show “Tiger Mom,” about a
strong-willed woman who pushes her
daughter to do better in school. According to
England’s Sky News, Shanghai Pudong New
District Court’s litigation service hotline has
confirmed it received a case against the
actress under new laws that make it easier to
file lawsuits. Since the laws were streamlined,
Chinese courts have seen a 29 percent
increase in the number of lawsuits. The Legal
Daily newspaper said the man is alleging
Zhao’s stare caused him “spiritual damage.”
Dateline: Kentucky (August)
A drunk man admitted trying to dig up his
father’s grave—so that dear old dad could
finally go to Heaven. Michael May is charged
with violating a grave, possession of
marijuana and public intoxication after he
was found inside a graveyard at the Pilot
Baptist Church south of Stanford. Late on the
evening of Monday, Aug. 17, Lincoln County
Constable Delbert Mitchell spotted May’s
truck parked outside the church and went
into the cemetery to investigate. “I went back
and hollered for him to step back in the light,
and he told me to step back to the dark.
That’s when I went and got my flashlight. He
started hollering out [Bible] verses at me,”
Constable Mitchell told LEX-18 News. “He
told me he was trying to dig his dad up, so his
dad could go to Heaven.” Interviewed later at
Lincoln County Jail by LEX-18 reporter Josh
Breslow, May said he did not feel he was
violating a grave. “I see the truth,” he told the
reporter. “He needs to be on the ground, not
under it.” May’s father died nearly four decades
ago. Even though May was “under the
influence” at the time of the incident, officials
are worried he might try again. “It’s a
possibility,” conceded May. “If the truth
doesn’t come out and nobody sees the truth,
yeah, I’ll do it again.”
Dateline: South Carolina
(October)
According to police in Spartanburg, a man
called 911 to complain his girlfriend would not
have sex with him. Patrick Doggett, 53, called
emergency services and told dispatchers his
partner, Faye Woodruff, “would not give him
any ass.” Officers responded to Doggett’s home
in the early morning hours of Oct. 6. Doggett
explained to officers he had been drinking all
day and “didn’t know where he was at,”
according to the police report. He is believed
to have climbed into bed with Woodruff and
requested sex, but Woodruff refused because
her grandchild was present. “Fuck that bitch,”
Doggett told officers. He was arrested for
public intoxication and taken to the
Spartanburg County Detention Center.
Dateline: Florida (October)
A 23-year-old woman was arrested after
web-streaming her DUI live on the internet.
Whitney Beall, left a party in Lakeland on the
night of Oct. 9. According to police she was
intoxicated and should not have been driving.
They know this because Beall used her cell
phone to live stream her drive home via
broadcasting service Periscope. “I’m fucking
drunk,” she declares on the broadcast, audibly
slurring her words. She also notes several times
that her vehicle has a flat tire. In a Facebook
post, Lakeland PD says it “began receiving 911
calls from viewers of Periscope about a possible
drunk driver using the social media app
Periscope to broadcast herself.” The post goes
on to note that, “as a result of the video being
streamed worldwide, numerous text messages
were sent to the driver asking her to stop
driving before she killed someone or herself.”
The Lakeland Police Department said it does
not provide officers “access to Periscope as an
authorized software tool,” but one officer used
his personal account to locate the driver.
Based on his observations, the officer
eventually found Beall driving her 2015
Toyota—complete with flat front tire—
eastbound on Carpenter’s Way. As the officer
approached, Beall’s vehicle “abruptly hit the
south curb with the right front tire/wheel.”
The driver failed standardized field sobriety
tests, refused to take a breathalyzer test and
was arrested on charges of DUI. a
Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird
news to [email protected].
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[7]
NEWS | OP ED
NEWS CITY
BY AUGUST MARCH
Toward a Peaceful
Life in Burque
BY AUGUST MARCH
Marijuana Legalization Considered
CYFD Housing Concerns
The Children, Youth and Families Department
here in New Mexico has raised concerns about
the institutional buildings and offices meant to
provide points of interface for children, some in
CYFD custody, who are being serviced by the
department. Sarah Palmer, a foster parent
coordinator for the department, went on record
with local media this week to express the
department’s desire to provide more and better
child-friendly environments for clients who have
sometimes been severely traumatized as a leadup to their interations with the state agency.
Leaders at CYFD propose creating a more
“homelike space” to meet with and care for
children who must work with CYFD through its
Child Wellness Center. Such a site would also
provide a means of centralizing services and
office sites for the widely scattered programs,
field offices and officials overseen by the state’s
main child and youth oversight department.
Currently, the agency is seeking proposals from
local property owners interested in providing an
amenable environment, after initial plans to buy
the SunPort Corporate Center fell through
recently.
APD Reports a Surge in Crime
A new set of statistics garnered by Albuquerque
Police Department officials indicates that violent
crime in Albuquerque grew over the previous
year. According to those records, still preliminary
as of this time, APD investigated 30 homicides in
2014. In 2015, the number of murders
investigated was 46. Although there was an
obvious increase, a look at violent crime data
over the past several years reveals a wave-like
trend where violent crime has surged and then
ebbed. For instance, there were 56 reported
homicides in 2009. According to published
reports, the Mayor of Albuquerque, Richard Berry
blames the recent rise in violent crime on the
judiciary and on criminals who have been
returned to the street after serving sentences
that were perhaps too short or at least
ineffective in their attempts at reform. a
[8]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
wanted to live in Albuquerque: At night
would dream of this place. One night I
dreamt of a river flowing out from the
Sandias; another time of houses hidden in the
steep canyons of those granite hills. Of course
when my family really did move here in the
middle of the 1970s I was surprised to find it
was like any place on Earth—filled up with
humans, their lives and constructions, bright
and dark and complex.
And we ended up living in the shadows of
the mountains, near a school named after a
mythical golden city, where it was mostly
quiet.
When I moved here, I felt like an outsider
and so unsettled. I came from a place in the
western desert where herds of sheep wandered
through our front yard daily, but also where
the effects of colonialism included intense
poverty, domestic violence and drug abuse.
The idylls available indulging urban life or its
semblance stirred up a deep nervousness in me
because I deeply hoped it would be otherwise
in the Duke City, that the chaos and
desperation I witnessed on the reservation
would not be possible in the city of my dreams.
Within three years, I was comfortable
walking all over Albuquerque and having the
time of my life. Other adolescents in my
neighborhood compared notes, telling about
how they had walked all the way to Old Town,
had spoken to a long haired flower child at the
truck stop by the Big I, had eaten lunch at a
chichonerria somewhere on Isleta and so on
and so forth.
Besides an innocent sort youthful bourgeois
wanderlust, the stories told shared at least one
other aspect: No one was ever threatened or
hurt on their sojourns. We came to take safety
as a given, as part of the enchantment that was
at the center of the myth of Burque.
The 1980s came to pass and I enrolled at
the University of New Mexico. I had great
hopes and plans and so did the city. Nob Hill
revitalized, plans were made to remake a
languishing Downtown as new residents
poured into the city from all over the country
and outside it too.
As the millennium approached, violence
took up residence hereabouts. Where it came
from is an issue unto itself. It might be the
violence came from a lackluster economy or
economic inequality; maybe its fearful specter
is based in ignorance and the inability of the
state to provide its citizens with a decent
education; or it could just be a part of human
nature. Whatever the hell the causes are, it is
surely tearing a dangerously ragged hole in the
I
ILLO BY TAMARA SUTTON
As the 2016 New Mexico legislative session
looms on the horizon, efforts are already
underway to revisit the legalization of marijuana
in the state. A state representative from Las
Cruces, Bill McCamely, has already prefiled a bill
that would make the herb legal for 21+ users.
McCamely’s legislative action, HB 75, would
allow adult users to purchase and possess
cannabis. The bill, titled the “Cannabis Revenue
and Freedom Act,” would provide for the legal
use of cannabis while also making sure said usage
is properly monitored and regulated by the state.
McCamely wrote the bill specifically to address
the inherent problems of prohibition while also
providing means for the state and its citizens to
benefit from marijuana. Further, the piece of
legislation specifies that one of the main reasons
for legalization is based on the premise that local
and state law enforcement has better things to
do, stating that an end to illegal cannabis would
help with “prioritizing the state’s limited law
enforcement resources in the most effective,
consistent and rational way.”
fabric of what Burqueños expect their city to
be. Stopping it is going to take a hell of a lot
more than some aging hipster singing to the
converts from atop a plastic soap box.
But just like the optimistic kid I told you
about at the beginning, I really want to live
here. So, I hope that talking about it,
beginning a dialogue, is a good step toward
that peaceful goal. Engendering a culture and
devising and implementing policies that
eschew violence and promote peace should be
the goals of individual citizens as well as the
government.
About a year ago, the FBI released a set of
statistics that showed how our state was
number two in terms of violent crime. Alaska
was number one. The same report detailed
trends in Albuquerque too: The rate of violent
crime here was twice the national average in
2013.
This sort of documented disorder didn’t
happen overnight and Albuquerque wasn’t
perfect when I was growing up here. But it sure
feels like the place began a downward spriral,
even as I ascended at college and began my
professional life in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s.
Some of the local events that occurred at this
critical juncture of my life lent credence to
that theory.
Linda Lee Daniels was kidnapped from her
front yard—east of Tramway—in 1986. The
stepson of a local, well-known baker organized
the sordid crime that led to her death.
In March of 1988, Carlos “the ragman”
Garver, a well-known local eccentric and
street-dweller, was set on fire, killed by
unknown assailants as he slept behind the
Lobo Campus Pharmacy near Central and
Yale.
This sort of senseless violence continued in
the 1990s even while the city’s economy
improved in fits and starts during the Baca and
Chavez administrations.
In May of 1994, 22-year-old Lisa Wortman
—a member of Burque’s nascent EDM scene—
disappeared. Her body was discovered in a
sewer by the University of New Mexico
Basketball Arena a month later. No one has
ever been charged in her death either; APD
reports that the last credible tip in the case
came in 2006.
In the current century our burg’s proclivity
toward seemingly random yet brutal humanon-human violence seems to have accelerated.
2014 saw the death of two sleeping Navajo
men at the hands of three South Valley youths.
In the year that just passed, a four year old
was killed during an incident of road rage.
The day after the Christmas that just
passed, a retired Sandia Labs technician was
knifed to death outside his home in Four Hills
and so on and so forth.
The police force in this city is understaffed,
overworked and having trouble adapting to a
community service model after having been in
siege mode since the murder of two officers
and two civilians by a mentally ill individual
named John Hyde in 2005.
Public health services, especially mental
health services are lacking in this city and
state. Funds have been developed by the city
to transform the Convention Center into a
world class sports arena but there is still a sad,
sick, hungry and frustrated group of humans
drifting through Downtown constantly.
I could go on and on, but like I said,
enough is enough. I don’t want to dream about
what a fantastic place Albuquerque could be; I
want to live in the place that I expect our
town to become: diverse, growing and
ultimately, safe and peaceful.
Discuss. a
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[9]
[10]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
OPINION | ¡ASK A MEXICAN!
Special Hollywood
Cholo Edicion
BY GUSTAVO ARELLANO
ear Mexican: I’ve been following a show
called You’re The Worst since it started
showing on FX last year.
Among other things, it
features a character named
Edgar Quintero, an awkward
and troubled Iraq War
veteran who happens to
be Mexican-American. I
think this must be the
only such character
regularly featured in
series television these
days. My only issue
with the character is
that, though he is well
handled, the actor who
plays him is obviously from
back East. Non-MexicanAmerican actors have been playing
Mexican-American characters, sometimes
quite well, for decades. In this case, Desmin
Borges has a Puerto Rican background, and I
don’t consider that a problem in and of itself.
But I have a big problem if they talk like
they are from New York or Chicago. The
language of those of us out west, Latino and
otherwise, is different, and we rarely see this
acknowledged on television or in movies.
Nonetheless, I love the show and he is
certainly my favorite character. At any rate,
I wanted to know if you had an opinion
about this character and his portrayal.
D
—Television Reconquista
Dear Gabacho: You gotta get your Borges
background right. He’s part Puerto Rican, born
in Chicago, raised in Houston, lives in NYC
and works on a show based in LA—as jumbled
a cultural history as that of any Mexican.
You’re the Worst is funny, and Borges’ character
is great in that he’s just a guy—not a Mexican,
not a Puerto Rican playing a Mexican, but a
guy who happens to be Mexican. I can’t state
how revolutionary that is, in an industry that
still writes Mexican men as little better than
cholos and narcos. And while it’d be cool if a
Chicano from City Terrace played Edgar
Quintero and made him talk like a
Chicano from City Terrace, it
sure is better than Douglas
Fairbanks playing Zorro—or,
hell, Hillary Clinton
pretending to be an abuela.
Dear Mexican: Why can’t
second and thirdgeneration Mexicans just
chill? The reason I ask is
because lately, there’s been
more cholos infiltrating the
Colorado River, and although
there’s plenty of room for them,
they always get all stabby or start
fights. I’ve been going there for years
and love it because everyone’s pretty much
drunk and happy …except for the cholos.
What’s up with that? Could it be that the
Indian in them gets crazy with hard liquor?
Or is that just with American Indians?
—La Coconut
Dear Pocha: Cholos fight because they’re
cholos, just like bros fight at Lake Havasu
because they’re bros. You can no more hate a
cholo or bro for fighting than you can hate
Donald Trump for being dumb—it’s who they
are. The problem, of course, is when said
cholos or bros or Trump fuck it up for everyone
else. The solution? Place them all on a
houseboat and let them sort it out—someone
greenlight THAT show! a
Ask the Mexican at [email protected].
Be his fan on Facebook. Follow him on Twitter
@gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram
@gustavo_arellano!
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[11]
EVENT | PREVIEWS
FRIDAY JAN 8
Pro or Con?
Albuquerque Convention Center
401 Second Street NW
alibi.com/e/170480
4pm
ALBUQUERQUE COMIC CON VIA FACEBOOK
Albuquerque Comic Con returns with a “preview
night” allowing visitors to see all the vendors and
check out what’s in store for the weekend.
Events run 10am to 8pm on Friday and 10am to
6pm on Sunday. Buy all the comic books,
posters, videos, photos, costume accessories,
toys, video games, etc. that your fanboy or
fangirl heart desires. Then, stick around for the
panel discussions and autograph sessions. Bigname comic industry guests include Mike Zeck
(who shepherded The Punisher to stardom in the
’80s) Neal Adams (of ’70s Green Lantern/Green
Arrow fame) and “Grendel” writer/artist/creator
Matt Wagner. Movie and TV guests include
Hellboy himself Ron Perlman, Nichelle Nichols
from “Star Trek,” Peter Mayhew from Star Wars
and voice actor Jim Cummings (“Darkwing Duck,”
“Star Wars: The Clone Wars,” “My Friends Tigger
and Pooh”). (Devin D. O’Leary) a
The King is in the Building
SATURDAY JAN 9
Isleta Resort & Casino: The Showroom
11000 Broadway SE
alibi.com/e/172430
8pm
Elvis is the king. Elvis has a posse. Many of them look and sound surprising like the dude, too. Since the
death of the high lord of rocanrol nearly 40 years ago, his cult has waxed, waned and then, much like the
singer himself in latter days, grown back thick and formidable like a winter plant warmed by greenhouse
glass and fed with a nutritious combination of nostalgia, shaking hips and a snarly sneer. Anyway, Elvis
impersonators also rise and fall. Next in line for the throne is Justin Shandor, who bills himself as the
“Ultimate Elvis.” He gained the title under the auspices of the King’s representatives themselves: In
2010, Elvis Presley Enterprises (the folks that run Graceland in his holiness’ absence) named Shandor
the number one Elvis tribute entity in the world. Shandor’s on tour with an impressively learned 10-piece
band, at least a few white sequined jump suits and a repertoire that knowingly spans Elvis’ storied career.
He’ll demonstrate his prowess portraying Presley on Friday, Jan. 8, at 8pm. Admission ranges between
$15-25. (August March) a
Return of the
Snowflake
MORGUEFILE.COM
3700 San Mateo NE
alibi.com/e/173556
Winter’s Feather
Forecast
4 to 5pm
Rio Grande Nature Center
Believe it or not it’s not too late to
make decorations. Sure Christmas is
over but Christmas doesn’t have a
monopoly on snowflakes. Snowflakes
will keep happening all winter, and
there’s no reason not to decorate your
house with them. If you think that
snowflakes are a bit simple, a bit basic,
then I have got a fun twist for you. The
Erna Fergusson Library is hosting a
snowflake making class, and the
snowflakes will be Star Wars themed. A
few simple snips in a specially folded
piece of paper and you get a depiction
of something from a galaxy far, far
away. (Cerridwen Stucky) a
2901 Candelaria NW
alibi.com/e/173467
Erna Fergusson Library
[12]
WEEKLY ALIBI
COMPFIGHT.COM
8:30am to 3pm
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
Head over to the Rio Grande Nature Center on a
lark this Saturday, Jan. 9, for the annual Winter
Bird and Bat Festival. Local naturalists will lead
talks, nature walks and activities for visitors, as
well as present live native birds. Attendees will
have the opportunity to learn the cardinal rules
of bird identification with a presentation from the
local chapter of the National Audubon Society,
get an introduction to bat biology and so much
more over the course of the day. The festival
runs from 8:30am to 4pm and is completely free,
so show up! You won’t “egret” it. (Maggie
Grimason) a
COMPFIGHT.COM
One City, Many
People
Special Collections Library
423 Central NE
alibi.com/e/173560
10:30am to noon
We all know that Albuquerque has a rich and
storied history, but how much of that history do
you actually know? And what about the people
from all different backgrounds who built this city?
The Special Collections Library has continued
their People Create Cities series into the new
year and is kicking it off on Saturday, Jan. 9, from
10:30am-12pm with stories of early Lebanese
and Syrian settlers that came to Albuquerque.
Local author Monika Ghattas will be the speaker
this week, so if one of your New Year’s
resolutions was to learn more, or if you are just
curious about how the city was built, then come
to this special event. (Taylor Grabowsky) a
Community
Calendar
THURSDAY JAN 7
2016 PRE-LEGISLATIVE UPDATE Gov. Martinez presents to
the New Mexico business community on issues like jobs,
education and public safety. Hyatt Regency Downtown
(330 Tijeras NW). $40-$50. 11am-1:30pm.
alibi.com/e/173988.
BEGINNER MEDITATION CLASS: HAPPINESS TOOLKIT
Explore some of Buddha’s meditation methods that can
help you face life’s challenges and difficulties with a calm
and centered mind. Kadampa Meditation Center
(8701 Comanche NE). $10. 7-8:30pm. 292-5293.
alibi.com/e/173472.
BENTLEY ZUMBA Whether you’re a newcomer or seasoned
dancer, front row or back, everyone has a great time. Form
Studio (3001 Monte Vista NE). $5. 5:45-6:45pm.
489-9168. alibi.com/e/173959.
PUBLIC MEETING: BOSQUE MULTI-USE ACCESSIBLE PATH
PROJECT (PHASE II) The purpose of this meeting is to
describe the project, present alternatives and provide
opportunity for public comment. Los Duranes Community
Center Park (2920 Leopoldo NW). 5:30-7pm. 764-1753.
alibi.com/e/172826.
TREECYCLING Recycle your real Christmas tree and Christmas
lights at Montessa Park Convenience Center, Eagle Rock
Convenience Center and Ladera Golf Course until 1/10.
Eagle Rock Convenience Center (6301 Eagle Rock NE).
8-10am. 761-8334. alibi.com/e/172593.
ZOO BROWN BAG SEMINAR The wild population of slendersnouted crocs is dwindling, but research and collaboration
are helping save this species. Learn more while eating
your lunch. ABQ BioPark Zoo (903 10th Street SW).
Included with regular admission. 12:30-1:30pm.
764-6214. alibi.com/e/172822.
FRIDAY JAN 8
ALPHA Talks designed to encourage conversation and explore
the basics of the Christian faith in a friendly, open and
informal environment. Asbury United Methodist Church
(10000 Candelaria NE). 6:30-9pm. 238-7610.
alibi.com/e/170757.
RIVER OF LIGHTS Extra days added due to recent winter
weather. Event-goers can enjoy hot cocoa, gingerbread
men, churros and other holiday treats at the Botanic
Garden while they delight in the state’s largest walkthrough light show. ABQ BioPark Botanic Garden
(2601 Central NW). $6-$12. 6-9:30pm. 768-2000.
alibi.com/e/174332.
SHAMANIC DRUM CIRCLE: JOURNEY THROUGH TRANCE A
light ceremony followed by trance drumming, with
Shamanic techniques and teachings offered. World Studio
(6300 Magpie NE, Rio Rancho). $5. 10:30am-12:30pm.
382-5275. alibi.com/e/145045.
SIXTH ANNUAL COMIC CON Bring the whole family for three
days of events including films, celebrity signings,
vendors, cosplay and more. Albuquerque Convention
Center (401 Second Street NW). $0-$300. 4pm.
768-4575. alibi.com/e/170480. See Event Horizon.
TREECYCLING 8-10am. See 1/7 listing.
URBAN SHAMAN: LEARNING LODGE A class for spiritual
explorers who are looking to meet each other and grow. All
backgrounds welcome. The Kiva (3096 Rosendo
Garcia SW). $5-$25. 7-9pm. 382-5275.
alibi.com/e/108570.
SATURDAY JAN 9
ADULTS CAN COLOR TOO! Coloring time for adults. Colored
pencils and an assortment of delightful coloring pages
provided. Los Griegos Library (1000 Griegos NW).
11am-noon. 761-4020. alibi.com/e/173559.
BEGIN THE NEW YEAR BY THINKING ABOUT THE END A
series of programs on End of Life Conversations. Join a
panel of experts for an introduction to broaching sensitive
topics and important matters to consider. Cherry Hills
Library (6901 Barstow NE). 2-3pm. 857-8321.
alibi.com/e/173990.
FINDING PEACE, CLARITY & HARMONY Three classes that
offer a chance to learn or brush up on basic meditation
skills and techniques. Kadampa Meditation Center
(8701 Comanche NE). $25 each or $60 for whole series.
10am-noon. 292-5293. alibi.com/e/173469.
HEALTH, WELLNESS & FITNESS EXPO 2016 Show up for free
informational resources, giveaways, health screenings,
samples, vendors, music and shopping to support the
Guardians of Children organization. Nativo Lodge
(6000 Pan American NE). 10am-4pm. 798-4377.
alibi.com/e/172814.
RIVER OF LIGHTS $6-$12. 6-9:30pm. See 1/8 listing.
SIXTH ANNUAL COMIC CON $0-$300. 10am. See 1/8
listing.
SOLAR OBSERVING Just one week past Earth’s closest
approach to the Sun it is the perfect time to catch views
of sunspots and prominences through solar telescopes.
Cerrillos Hills State Park (Santa Fe County Road 59,
Cerrillos). $5 per vehicle. 11am-1pm. 474-0196.
alibi.com/e/173944.
TREECYCLING 8-10am. See 1/7 listing.
WINTER BIRD AND BAT FESTIVAL The festival offers a
speaker program, guided bird and plant walks, live
birds with Wildlife Rescue and others, and crafts for
kids. Rio Grande Nature Center (2901 Candelaria NW).
Included with regular admission. 8:30am-3pm.
344-7240. alibi.com/e/173467. See Event Horizon.
ZOO BROWN BAG SEMINAR Included with regular admission.
12:30-1:30pm. See 1/7 listing.
SUNDAY JAN 10
BEING NON-CHRISTIAN IN ALBUQUERQUE Members of the
Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, Islamic and Buddhist communities
discuss common issues of being a minority in a Christian
community. Congregation Albert (3800 Louisiana NE).
$12. 10am-noon. alibi.com/e/173117.
DRUM JOURNEY: URBAN SHAMAN Experience a powerful
journey through sound and tap into your own
personal abilities for healing and growth. The Source
(1111 Carlisle SE). $10. 4:30-6pm. 382-5275.
alibi.com/e/108618.
PUBLIC MEDITATION SITTING Join in for a public sitting.
Meditation instruction is available upon request.
Albuquerque Shambhala Meditation Center
(1102 Mountain NW). 10am-noon. 717-2486.
alibi.com/e/132031.
SIXTH ANNUAL COMIC CON $0-$300. 10am-6pm. See 1/8
listing.
TREECYCLING 8-10am. See 1/7 listing.
MONDAY JAN 11
HOMEWARD BOUND Get your pet microchipped for free. Now
that you’ve found your forever friend, make sure they stay
forever yours. Limit 100 microchips per day. Also occuring
at the Westside Animal shelter. Eastside Animal Shelter
(8920 Lomas NE). 11am-1pm. alibi.com/e/173639.
TUESDAY JAN 12
ART EMPOWERMENT A peer-run group for folks interested in
using art as a form of expression. Mediums (clay, paint,
collage) vary week-by-week. Register online. Albuquerque
Center for Hope & Recovery (1120 Second Street NW,
Second Floor). $0-$2. 10am-1pm. 321-3449.
alibi.com/e/172206.
COMIC CON AT THE LIBRARY Events include art stations
where you can make your own comic books, a cosplay
contest and more. The first 50 people will get door prizes.
Main Library (501 Copper NW). 3:30-6:30pm. 768-5131.
alibi.com/e/173993.
SELF-EMPOWERMENT GROUP Peer-run group focusing on
addiction recovery. Small groups consist of recovery goals,
triggers, relapse, relaxation and others. One-on-one peer
support offered after each group. Albuquerque Center for
Hope & Recovery (1120 Second Street NW, Second
Floor). Noon-1pm. 321-3449. alibi.com/e/172261.
WEDNESDAY JAN 13
BEYOND THE CADILLAC DESERT: HOW MYTHS OF CRISIS
AND CONFLICT STAND IN THE WAY OF SOLVING THE
WEST’S WATER PROBLEMS John Fleck takes a closer look
at the way western farm towns and big cities are adapting
and responding to drought and climate change. New
Mexico Museum of Natural History and Science
(1801 Mountain NW). 7-9pm. 410-0753.
alibi.com/e/174137.
BUTT PLAY BASICS: EXPLORING THE BACK DOOR Anal sex is
one of the last taboos for many adults. Learning new
techniques could make anal play your new favorite activity.
Self Serve (3904 Central SE). $15-$20. 7:30pm.
265-5815. alibi.com/e/173536.
COMPOSTING WITH WORMS (VERMICOMPOSTING) Food
scraps and paper products make up about 30% of
garbage. Use red worms to turn this organic waste into
high quality compost. Open Space Visitor Center
(6500 Coors NW). 1:30-2:30pm. 929-0414.
alibi.com/e/172630.
HERBS FOR COLD & FLU SEASON Learn about how to use
herbs to strengthen the lungs and to ease runny noses,
coughs, colds, fevers, and sinus infections. The Source
(1111 Carlisle SE). $25. 6-8pm. 265-5900.
alibi.com/e/172816.
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[13]
[14]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
ARTS | culTuRe Shock
Members of NYC’s Aztec Economy perform in Butcher Holler Here We Come
PHOTO BY HUNTER CANNING
Emily Climbs (Machine Méchant)
PHOTO BY SCOTT ESLINGER
Around the World in 21 Days
Three week festival brings theater from four continents to Albuquerque
BY MAGGIE GRIMASON
ot everyone has the luxury of being
able to travel. Finances, family
obligations, schedules, et cetera,
make it difficult, but Revolutions is a different
way of traveling,” Juli Hendren wrote to me a
few days after Christmas. I was marooned in
the Midwest by snowstorms so we took the
opportunity to chat via e-mail about theater,
travel and connection. With travel plans and
interviews thwarted, the idea of the world
coming to visit me in the dark of Tricklock’s
theater sounded attractive. Hendren is the
Festival Curator for 2016’s Revolutions, a fete
that brings theater from around the country
and around the world to the Albuquerque
community. “For me, it’s about connection,”
she wrote—the connection that a well
written, acted and directed play can illuminate
under the stage lights—that we’re all human,
and we have a lot to teach each other.
“We don’t have to all be the same or agree,
but allowing space for stories and experiences
with people from different countries and
cultures brings us together,” Hendren
elaborated. This year, Tricklock is gathering a
wide array of performances in Albuquerque—
there are troupes visiting from Poland and
Palestine, New York and Scotland and
Colombia—and the content of their pieces
vary just as widely as the performers’
geographic homes. Here, the players broach
topics that include imperialism, motherhood,
“N
violence and psychosis in innovative and
words.” I wrote to the members of Ashtar
creative ways. 48 Minutes for Palestine, a play
Theatre from Indiana, and they answered from
produced by Ashtar Theatre of Ramallah, for
Jerusalem. I asked them why they developed a
example, tells the story of a woman who lives
play for an audience overseas. Adebayo
in her home in peace until a man shows up
answered, “I have worked in Palestine on
with a suitcase and declares that the property
various projects over the past 14 years. In that
is his. The entirety of the story is told
time I’ve seen an intense increase in the level
wordlessly, through physical movement and
of oppression. I am constantly impressed by
original music. Another piece, Butcher Holler
people’s resistance through friendship and art.
Here We Come by Aztec Economy out of New
But when I go home [to Britain] I am …
York City, tells the
surprised by how little
story of five miners
people know about
who are stranded
the situation.” To
Revolutions 2016
underground after a
extend a fraction of
JAN. 12 TO JAN. 30
collapse. “The only
the experience lived
by thousands of
lights in the show
Tricklock Performance Laboratory
people in Palestine
are their headlamps.
110 Gold Ave. SW
and foster
It’s very poetic and
tricklock.com
understanding
rich,” Hendren
between cultures,
described. “Tricklock
Ashtar Theatre is delivering this transcendent
Company and the bulk of the work we do is
performance to audiences internationally.
deeply rooted in investigation,” she said, “we
“The … mission of the festival comes down
try to examine the human experience through
to the belief that exposure to world theater
our work.” Revolutions is a beautiful and
and culture increases mutual understanding,
profound extension of that core mission.
inspires change and empowers individuals to
“[48 Minutes for Palestine] was made
improve the overall quality of life for all
especially for an international audience,”
people,” Hendren wrote. The scope of
Ashtar Theatre’s General Director, Edward
Revolutions and the convictions of its
Muallem, said of the play, which will be
organizers make the programming expansive,
performed during the second week of
thoughtful and just as progressive and
Revolutions. The play’s director, Mohisda
boundary-pushing as all of Tricklock’s
Adebayo elaborated, “I often feel English can
productions. For Tricklock’s contribution to
be rather dishonest … I wanted to create a
the fest, the troupe will revisit Her Murder
piece of work for people outside [of Palestine],
Ballad, a play with great scope that first opened
to give an image of occupation without
in the fall, which incorporates song and
movement into its unique structure and
inquiry into violence and passion. “Our work
is raw and constantly evolving because the
experiment never really stops,” Hendren said
of returning to the work. In addition,
Tricklock’s long-running cabaret and variety
show The Reptilian Lounge will be
incorporated into Revolutions, as will improv
from neighboring theater, The Box.
“I love Albuquerque,” Hendren said when
asked about the emotional heart of
Revolutions. “We all do at Tricklock. It raised
us, supported us, made us who we are today. It’s
important to us to bring the work we are
experiencing out in the world back to the
people of Albuquerque.” And that is, in part,
how Revolutions started 16 years ago. The
festival will continue to expand as Tricklock
members have recently received a grant that
will allow them to scout productions in Bogotá
for the festival next year.
In the intimate performance spaces and
workshops of Revolutions, Tricklock presents
living artifacts from around the country and
the world that provide an opportunity to learn,
gain understanding and cultivate a global
perspective on art. “Artistic diplomacy is
critical, now more than ever,” Hendren wrote
as she wrapped up her e-mail to me. “I think
Revolutions is an important part of that work.”
Revolutions 2016 embarks on Tuesday, Jan.
12, with a kickoff party. A schedule of
performances and tickets are available at
tricklock.com. a
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[15]
Arts & Lit
Calendar
beaded project to take home. Registration is required and
starts 30 days prior to program. 10-11:30am. 891-5012.
alibi.com/e/172951.
SUNDAY JAN 10
WORDS
516 ARTS Environmental Resiliency & Nonlinear Creative
Research. Part travel log and part poetic narrative, with
artist Nina Elder and writer Lucy Lippard. 7pm. 242-1445.
alibi.com/e/173987.
BOOKWORKS Death Ship. Author Joe Badal reads from his
new thriller. 7pm. 344-8139. alibi.com/e/174216.
ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Northern
Italy and Switzerland: Myths & Mysteries Art &
Architecture. The Albuquerque International Association
hosts a lecture by local architect Garrett Smith. $15-$20.
3-5pm. 856-7277. alibi.com/e/174214.
PAGE ONE BOOKSTORE From the Sands of the Arena: Ancient
World Trivia for the 21st Century. Dr. Rich Field signs his
non-fiction book and conducts a “Test Your Knowledge”
Bowl with small prizes. 3-4:40pm. 294-2026.
alibi.com/e/173483.
STAGE
STAGE
STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo Stand-up Comedy
Thursdays. Jill Bryan, Greg Freiler and Matt Peterson
perform. $10. 7:30pm. 771-5680. alibi.com/e/173521.
ADOBE THEATER Deathtrap. $15-$17. 2pm. See 1/8 listing.
VORTEX THEATRE Hamlet. $15-$22. 2pm. See 1/8 listing.
SONG & DANCE
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER The Four Seasons
of Buenos Aires. Astor Piazzolla’s seminal and
extraordinary composition combines jazz and the tango of
his native Argentina with classical forms and 20th century
harmonic ideas. $24-$68. 2pm. 246-2261.
alibi.com/e/172815.
THURSDAY JAN 7
WORDS
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe From a Whisper to a Dream Talent
Search. Perform a live audition of two songs. Vocalists
must either bring a CD with two tracks or an instrument, if
you wish to accompany yourself. 6pm. (505) 982-0775.
alibi.com/e/174178.
FRIDAY JAN 8
SONG & DANCE
GALLERY 606 Welcoming the Chinese Year of the Monkey
Opening Reception. Art from China. Runs through 1/30.
5-8pm. alibi.com/e/174267.
GRAFT System Visions Opening Reception. New work from
Anna Reser. 6-9pm. alibi.com/e/173476.
STRANGER FACTORY Joel Nakamura and Max Lehman
Opening Reception. See two solo shows, Zen Gardens and
Gods & Goop & Gobbledygook. Runs through 01/31.
6-9pm. alibi.com/e/173477.
NATIONAL HISPANIC CULTURAL CENTER Dave Rawlings
Machine. Dave Rawlings is an award-winning guitar player,
singer, songwriter, and producer best known for his work
with Gillian Welch, Old Crow Medicine Show and Ryan
Adams. $34. 8pm. 246-2261. alibi.com/e/173513.
STAGE
TRICKLOCK PERFORMANCE LABORATORY 16th Annual
Revolutions International Theatre Festival. Outstanding
international performers are booked every day. Stay tuned
to tricklock.com. $22-$179. alibi.com/e/174268.
LEARN
ERNA FERGUSSON LIBRARY Star Wars Snow Flakes. Create
Stars Wars-themed snowflakes using easy templates.
Open to all ages. 4-5pm. 888-8100.
alibi.com/e/173556. See Event Horizon.
SATURDAY JAN 9
SONG & DANCE
ESTHER BONE MEMORIAL LIBRARY, Rio Rancho An Evening
of Music with Jim Jones. Hear songs about the West:
cowboys, horses and cattle, cattle rustlers, the coming of
the train and the beauty of the Western sky. 6:30-7:45pm.
891-5012. alibi.com/e/172952.
LEARN
CHERRY HILLS LIBRARY Teen Craft Night: Paper Hot Air
Balloons. Teens, 13-18, learn to weave paper into hot air
balloons. Registration is required and limited to 12.
6-7pm. 857-8321. alibi.com/e/173994.
WEDNESDAY JAN 13
WORDS
SPECIAL COLLECTIONS LIBRARY People Create Cities: The
Lebanese/Syrian Community. Monika Ghattas, author
of Los Árabes of New Mexico: Compadres from a
Distant Land, tells the stories from Albuquerque’s
Lebanese and Syrian settlers. 10:30am-noon.
848-1376. alibi.com/e/173560. See Event Horizon.
ART
STAGE
ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY New
Territories: Laboratories for Design, Craft and Art in Latin
America. A celebration of the opening of a new exhibit.
1-4pm. 243-7255. alibi.com/e/172824.
OPEN SPACE VISITOR CENTER Soul/Soil Opening Reception.
Fearnside explores the world below and Hample explores
themes of natural and man-made patterns and essences.
Runs through 2/21. 2-4pm. 897-8831.
alibi.com/e/173991.
TRICKLOCK PERFORMANCE LABORATORY 16th Annual
Revolutions International Theatre Festival. $22-$179. See
1/12 listing.
STAGE
ADOBE THEATER Deathtrap. $15-$17. 7:30-10pm. See 1/8
listing.
VORTEX THEATRE Hamlet. $15-$22. 7:30pm. See 1/8 listing.
SONG & DANCE
ALBUQUERQUE MUSEUM OF ART AND HISTORY Art in the
Afternoon: Jazz Brasileiro. Classic bossa bova and
contemporary Brazilian music, food and art. 2-5pm.
243-7255. alibi.com/e/173581.
BLUE MOON YOGA, Santa Fe New Year Sacred Sound
Celebration. Indigenous Cosmos and Sui Ki Li, featuring
Tibetan Bowls, percussion, gong bath and the amazing,
etheric vocals of Myrrh de Marmion. $15-$25. 1pm.
(317) 985-7622. alibi.com/e/172726.
LEARN
ESTHER BONE MEMORIAL LIBRARY, Rio Rancho Create with
Leda: Making a Beaded Necklace. Plan and execute a
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
TUESDAY JAN 12
STAGE
CHERRY HILLS LIBRARY Spanish Literature Book Club. This
meeting’s selection is Sefarad by Antonio Muñoz Molina.
1-3pm. 857-8321. alibi.com/e/173995.
SOUTHWEST WRITERS OFFICE, Carlisle Executive Suites
Myth in Writing. This three-part class explores myth in
writing using the structure of the Hero’s Journey for
fiction/memoir. $39-$49. 5:45-7:45pm.
alibi.com/e/173996.
WORDS
WEEKLY ALIBI
MONDAY JAN 11
ART
ADOBE THEATER Deathtrap. A wickedly comedic thriller by Ira
Levin. $15-$17. 7:30-10pm. 898-9222.
alibi.com/e/172464.
BOX PERFORMANCE SPACE AND IMPROV THEATRE
Comedy? Albuquerque’s DIY comedy troupe provides
improv, sketch and music. $8. 9:30pm. 404-1578.
alibi.com/e/135369.
VORTEX THEATRE Hamlet. Arguably Shakespeare’s most
famous play, Hamlet is among the most powerful and
influential tragedies in English literature. $15-$22.
7:30pm. 247-8600. alibi.com/e/173395.
[16]
SONG & DANCE
PHOTOS BY ERIC WILLAIMS | ERICWPHOTO.COM
FOOD | restauraNt review
3225 Central NE
Duck tamale
Not a Party Yet
Matanza has bountiful beers but issues with spices and prices
BY TY BANNERMAN
n New Mexico, a “matanza” is a celebration,
a something like a rodeo with the addition
of a communal slaughtering of livestock. In
the more rural parts of our state, matanzas
follow this tradition, offering prizes for
butchering and slaughtering skills. In Nob
hill, though, Matanza has instead become a
restaurant. So it goes, tradition becomes
appropriated and commodified, but hey, it’s a
catchy name, right? Maybe we can chalk it up
to hometown pride. And what really matters
here is the dining.
The space, which took over the old Savvy
Boutique, is large for Nob Hill. A few
televisions hang over the bar showing The
Game; there’s lots of raw stone and wood and
metal. Large tables and low booths take up the
center of the room, while two-tops nestle in
by the windows. It’s a sleek and comfortable
space with a distinct upscale sensibility.
First, the beer: There are about a million
draft taps lined up on the back wall behind
the marble bar counter. The rainbow of tap
handles represent over a hundred beers from a
seriously expansive lineup of New Mexico
breweries, even some far-flung offerings like a
pecan ale from (where else) the Pecan
Brewery in Las Cruces. And, naturally, plenty
from the ABQ metro area, like Marble,
Boxing Bear, Red Door, La Cumbre and B2B.
Feeling like I needed something new, I tried
two of Matanza’s own branded offerings. One,
simply called “Habañero” was quite good, a
pale ale with spice from the chile just hot
enough to make an impact without
overwhelming the other flavors. The other, an
“Indian stout” laces its dark barley with curry.
Too much, really. Skip it unless you’re excited
I
Mantanza
3225 Central NE
312-7305
matanzanm.com
Hours: 4pm to 11pm Mondays
11:30am to 11pm Tuesday through Sunday
Vibe: Sleek yet comfortable
Extras: Nob Hill people watching
Alibi recommends: N’Orleans, burgesa and
calabacitas bisque
about a beer that tastes like an Indian
restaurant smells.
So far, not too bad. Appetizers include a
phenomenal calabacitas bisque, which is
warming and homey and squash-sweet with a
slow-burn heat from green chile. Skip the
“trifecta” of salsa, guacamole and queso,
though. It has a lackluster impact for its $10
price tag with little to recommend the bland
salsa and queso. Instead, maybe opt for flying
hogs, a plate of pork-on-the-bone cooked
either Buffalo style or New Mexican. Same
price, but more satisfying.
The lunch menu offers some great
sandwiches and salads (or “sangwiches” and
“ensaladas,” as the Burqueño pastiche lays it
out on the menu itself). The Burgesa, with red
chile aioli is a tremendously good hunk of
meat, which shouldn’t be a surprise given that
the owners also run Q Burger. The N’Orleans
offers a spicy take on a muffuletta, though it’s
presented more as a club sandwich than the
traditional Louisiana form. The olive
tapenade on the sandwich offers the kind of
flavor that you’ll dream about. Skip the Sparta
vegetarian burrito; its filling is a light purplish
mixture of black beans and hummus,
overpoweringly flavored with garlic. It
seemed, so help me, more like a chip dip in a
tortilla than a burrito.
Ironically, the menu section labeled
“Favoritos” wound up offering my least
favorite items. Duck tamales, for instance,
though promised as a “future award winner”
on the menu, wound up as less then
spectacular. The duck was begging for more
spice, and the masa was too dry and crumbly.
The dish comes with a sweet red chile molé,
but the flavor didn’t meld with the tamale so
much as flood over it.
Like all of the entrées, it comes with
calabacitas. These are particularly heavy on
the corn, with the squash slices few and far
between. Like the Sparta, the calabacitas are
heavily laden with garlic. It’s a peculiar thing
at Matanza, but it seems like the food is either
far too subtly spiced or over-spiced.
My companion tried the black and blue
label tacos, which offer blue corn tortillas
filled with kobe beef and (according to the
menu) bleu cheese. The beef was flavorful,
though dry, and the bleu cheese was, well,
hard to find and hardly offered much to the
overall taste.
Given the price of these entrées, I
unfortunately can’t recommend them. The
ideas behind them are innovative, but the
plated reality can’t quite measure up. For now,
I suggest that diners stick with the sandwiches
and beer. The bottom line still tends toward
the pricey, but the sandwiches I had were far
more satisfying.
Here’s hoping that these are issues that can
be worked out as the restaurant continues to
evolve. Perhaps then Matanza can be worthy
of a celebration of its own. a
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[17]
FILM | The WORST
REEL WORLD
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
50 Shades of Grey
Film Threat
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
The worst movies of 2015
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
o long, 2015. It’s been real. Don’t let the
door hit you in the ass on the way out. You
gave us terrorist attacks, a refugee crisis in
Syria, waaay too many police shootings, a
“Godzilla” El Niño and Donald Trump’s ...
well, everything. Heck, even the entertainment
industry seemed to want to punish us this year.
Sure, Hollywood very nearly made up for Star
Wars: Episodes I, II and III by giving us Star
Wars: The Force Awakens. But the year also
saw the release of four Adam Sandler movies
(The Cobbler, Pixels, Hotel Transylvania 2
and The Ridiculous 6). That’s just cruel.
The pain started early with the February
release of 50 Shades of Grey. Despite heavy
publicity and the anticipation of inexplicable
fans of E.L. James’ “novel,” the best most of us
were hoping for was a lot of high camp sleaze.
Sadly, the film failed to deliver on the
Showgirls promise. The uniformly dull, rigidly
po-faced feature consisted mostly of contract
negotiations between two of the least
believable characters of the year. Sex hasn’t
looked this boring since the release of the Paris
Hilton sex tape. Sitting through it was the real
act of sadomasochism.
A lot of people spent 2015 eagerly awaiting
George Lucas’ long-promised new film. They
got it with the animated fantasy Strange
Magic. If the name doesn’t sound quite as
familiar to you as Star Wars: The Force
Awakens, you’re not alone. On opening
weekend, it pulled in $5.5 million—making it
the smallest opening for an animated film
released in over 3,000 theaters. Production on
this vanity project was underway for years. Not
that you could tell by the final product—a
generic fantasy mishmash of A Midsummer
Night’s Dream, Labyrinth and American Graffiti.
And, yes, it was a musical featuring old pop
songs like “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,”
“Sugar Pie Honey Bunch” and ELO’s “Strange
Magic.”
“Worst box office” was something of a
photo finish this year, in fact. In August,
S
[18]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
Warner Bros. released the EDM DJ drama We
Are Your Friends starring Zac Efron. The film
opened at number 14 at the box office, taking
in just $758 per screen. That made it the
fourth worst debut ever for a film playing more
than 2,000 screens—which pretty much
answered the question, “Why don’t we have
more dramas about dudebros who DJ raves
with their laptops?” But wait! Less than two
months later, audiences witnessed John M.
Chu’s tone-deaf, live-action, ’80s cartoon
adaptation Jem and the Holograms. The Step
Up 2: The Streets director tried to update the
story for today’s YouTube generation—by
incorporating actual, user-submitted YouTube
videos into the film. As a result, Jem and the
Holograms took in a mere $568 per screen,
making it the new “fourth worst opening ever
for a film playing in more than 2,000 theaters.”
Unsurprisingly, the studio pulled it out of
theaters after only two weeks.
You can’t blame 20th Century Fox for
wanting to steal a bit of that sweet
Marvel/Disney money by milking some of the
few comic book characters they’re still keeping
a deathgrip on. (Ant-Man raked in $180
million, for crying out loud.) But really, there
was no excuse for director Josh Trank’s
rambling, thoroughly non-exciting reboot of
Fantastic Four. Even Roger Corman’s
notoriously unreleased 1994 version was good
for a few laughs.
Reboots, remakes and sequels are still par
for the Hollywood course. And frankly, a lot of
this is our own damn fault. If movie studios
give up and hand us no-effort garbage like
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 and Alvin and the
Chipmunks: The Road Chip and we reward
them for it (Kevin James’ numbskull slapstick
earned $71 million), we kinda deserve what
we get.
Then again, even talented actors and
directors stumbled in 2015. Writer-director
Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous, Jerry
Maguire) cast super-white Emma Stone as a
half-Asian character in his romantic ensemble
Aloha. Of course, even without the Hollywood
whitewashing, the film would have been an
awkward mess. It’s OK, Cameron; you’ll always
have Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Johnny Depp, meanwhile, continued his
fill-tilt career immolation (Dark Shadows? The
Lone Ranger? Transcendence? Tusk?) with the
release of Mortdecai. Despite its origins as a
well-regarded series of comic caper novels by
Kyril Bonfiglioli, this art thief romp costarring
Gwyneth Paltrow and Paul Bettany was a box
office bomb, landing Depp in the category of
“Most Overpaid Actor of 2015.”
Every year sees an increasing number of
Christian faith-based films. They attract a
loyal audience and make good money at the
box office, but few have the budget or talent to
compete with mainstream Hollywood cinema.
And a handful stand out as laughable attempts
to force ultraconservative values on American
audiences. This year’s silliest Jesus-based
outing was Rik Swartzwelder’s retrograde
romance Old Fashioned. In it, the Evangelical
writer-director-producer starred as a smalltown prig who attempted to woo a new girl in
town the “old fashioned” way—by never
kissing her, touching her or being alone in the
same room with her. In fact, he would only
speak to her while separated by a screen door.
(Seriously.) The Amish are capable of
producing steamier romances.
Crackpot Christian creationists and New
Age conspiracy theorists came together in
anno 2015’s most baffling effort, the
geocentric documentary The Principle. Yup,
this rabidly anti-science doc seriously
attempted to discount the blasphemous
Copernican idea that the Earth revolves
around the sun. Actress Kate Mulgrew (who
captained a ship into outer space, for crying
out loud) narrated the film. She (and most of
the scientists involved) later disavowed the
film, saying they were tricked into appearing
in it without being told what it was about.
What better symbol for the intelligence of the
entertainment industry in 2015 than a film
that drags scientific understanding back to
1500 AD? a
Screening Albuquerque
The Albuquerque Film Festival returns January
7 through 10. Screenings will take place at the
Guild Cinema (3405 Central NE) and the Aux
Dog Theatre (3011 Monte Vista NE). There will
be blocks of short films (Dramatic Shorts,
Student Shorts, Horror Shorts, Sci-Fi Shorts
and Superhero/Fantasy Shorts) as well as
narrative features and documentaries. Among
the local features is Dead River, shot in the
Santa Fe area with a New Mexico cast and crew
including Morse Bicknell, Ed Lottimer, Lora
Martinez Cunningham and Victor Talmadge. The
film, written and directed by Jason DeBoer, is
described as an “intellectual mystery set in the
literary world.” It will screen Thursday, Jan. 7,
8pm, at Guild Cinema. Another film with a strong
local connection is Pin Up! The Movie, a
documentary which follows a group of women
drawn to the “retro lifestyle.” Director Kathleen
Ryan worked with KOAT-TV and KOB radio,
while producer David Stanton is a former arts
reporter at the Albuquerque Journal. Pin Up! will
screen Sunday, Jan. 10, 2pm, at Aux Dog. Other
films of note include Under the Lights in
Thailand (a documentary about the World
MuayThai Championship), Non-Stop to ComicCon (a comedy about three geeky friends on a
quest to attend the legendary San Diego ComicCon) and Star Leaf (a psychedelic horror film in
which stoners battle aliens in the woods).
Individual tickets are $10. Festival passes are a
mere $20. To check out a complete schedule of
films and times, go to abqfilmfestival.com.
Post time
Are you a local filmmaker struggling to complete
a nearly done project? The New Mexico Film
Foundation is still taking submissions for the
Beau McNicholas Post Production Grant.
Interested filmmakers could land $1,500 to pay
for sound, editing, color correction, special
effects or other post-production work. You must
be a New Mexico resident to apply. Applications
will be taken through January 15. The award is
scheduled be handed out in February. To fill out
the application, got to nmfilmfoundation.org.
You’ll need to include a one-page resumé and a
document explaining what area of post
production you will use the money for. Those in
the final running for the grant will have to submit
a rough copy of their film for consideration. a
TELEVISION | IDIOT BOX
You're the Worst
TV’s lousiest offerings of 2015
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
o we live in a Golden Age of Television?
Sure, why not. Even if you want to argue
the point, you’ve got to acknowledge that
audiences are demanding smarter, more
expensive, more well-crafted weekly
entertainment. On the comedy front, we’ve got
genre-bending risk-takers like FOX’ “The Last
Man on Earth” and The CW’s “Crazy ExGirlfriend.” On the drama tip we get headturning innovators like USA’s “Mr. Robot” and
Cinemax’s “The Knick.” On the other hand,
we’re subjected to every hidebound, grandmabait throwback CBS has to offer. So what sort
of awfulness did the Golden Age of Television
try to pawn off on us this past year?
The Republican Presidential Debates (Fox
News, CNN, etc.)—In the nonstop reality
show that is America, circa 2015, every
celebrity in creation has already been turned
into a cartoonish version of themselves by the
ever-present TV camera. Sadly, having run out
of celebrities, bounty hunters, tow truck
drivers, duck call manufacturers, Amish
gangsters and anyone fertile enough to have
eight or more kids, television turned to
politicians this year. The Republican debates
were the place to watch theoretically wellmeaning wannabe public servants debase
themselves by accepting their mediadistributed caricatures (crazy uncle, cranky
grandpa, religious kook) and running with
them. It wasn’t about politics this year, it was
about entertainment. And no one took to this
assignment more enthusiastically than Donald
“I Am The Least Racist Person” Trump. Here’s
a campaign slogan for you, “Donald Trump:
Worse Than a Kardashian.”
D
THE WEEK IN
SLOTH
THURSDAY 7
“My Diet is Better Than Yours” (KOAT-7
8pm) If you can’t get enough of
watching other people lose weight,
here’s another show in which people
will diet and exercise for your
amusement, you sick bastard.
“Angel From Hell” (KRQE-13 8:30pm) I
can almost guarantee the idea for
this sitcom sounds funnier in theory
that practice: Jane Lynch plays a
drunken, mean-spirited guardian
angel to a successful doctor. Hijinks
ensue.
“Shades of Blue” (KOB-4 9pm) Jennifer
Lopez, deciding her talents are better
suited for the small screen (her last
film, The Boy Next Door, would
certainly agree), goes primetime cop
drama. She plays a crooked New York
police officer (and single mom, of
course) recruited by the FBI to
become an informant.
FRIDAY 8
“Ex Isle” (WE 11pm) Former couples
seek “closure” on a tropical isle ...
and in front of TV cameras. Carmen
Electra hosts this reverse dating
“Wicked City” (ABC)—This ’80s hairmetal serial killer thriller set amid the neon of
the Sunset Strip had the distinction of being
the only new TV show actually canceled this
fall season. After three episodes. That’s how
entertaining it was.
“Truth Be Told” (NBC)—This mouthbreathing sitcom, ostensibly about how people
really talk when they aren’t trying to be
“politically correct,” turned out to be your basic
couch-based sitcom in which two best buds sit
around and trade rude quips behind their
wives’ backs. Using the Donald Trump excuse
of “just telling the truth,” the makers let loose
with a barrage of racist, sexist jokes—which
weren’t brave and unabashed, so much as
archaic and stupid.
“Knock Knock Live!” (FOX)—Ryan
Seacrest hosted and produced this mercifully
short-lived summer series, which seemed to
believe people would watch anything this year
so long as the word “live” was attached. In it
cameras arrived at random folks’ houses to ...
well, here’s where things get convoluted.
Sometimes there would be gameshow
segments, other times it would be celebrity
interviews or maybe a concert or who the hell
knows? Producers clearly never came up with a
concept for the show and were just winging it.
“Sex Box” (WE)—This is the part of the
article where I remind/inform everyone that WE
briefly broadcast a ... game show? reality show?
national embarrassment? in which couples had
sex on stage (hidden in a box so audiences
neither saw nor heard anything, so what’s the
point?) and then discussed their “issues” (such as
bumping uglies on national television) with a
panel of therapists and sex experts. This is a
thing that actually happened. a
show—which is exciting news to
pubescent boys in 1997.
SATURDAY 9
My Sweet Audrina (Lifetime 6pm)
Author V.C. Andrews of Flowers in the
Attic infamy gets another of her
“lurid lite” Gothic thrillers adapted to
television. We get rape, murder, post
traumatic stress disorder, selfhypnosis, nymphomania, diabetes,
autism, “brittle bone disease” and—
of course—a big, creepy house.
“MythBusters: The Explosion Special”
(Discovery 6pm) MythBusters Adam
and Jamie kick off their 14th (and
final) season with a bang.
TUESDAY 12
“MADtv 20th Anniversary Reunion”
(KWBQ-19 7pm) Ike Barinholtz,
Alex Borstein, Mo Collins, Crista
Flanagan, Anjelah Johnson,
Keegan-Michael Key, Phil LaMarr,
Artie Lange, Bobby Lee and others
reunite for some ’90s-nostalgic
sketch comedy action.
“Shadowhunters” (Freeform
7:02pm) Cassandra Clare’s young
adult book series (about sexy,
young angels fighting sexy, young
demons) got turned into the nonetoo-successful 2013 feature The
Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
Now Freeform (formerly ABC
Family) tries again with a TV show.
SUNDAY 10
“The 73rd Annual Golden Globe
Awards” (KOB-4 6pm) Funny-mean
host Ricky Gervais takes the starch
out of various well-paid Hollywood
stars.
Murder, She Baked: A Peach Cobbler
Mystery (Hallmark Movie Channel
7pm) If you’re not an 80-year-old
grandmother, this quaint crime story
involving pastries is not for you.
MONDAY 11
“Fashion Police: The 2016 Golden
Globe Awards” (E! 9pm) Kathy
Griffin is out and Margaret Cho is in.
The catty digs on weirdly dressed
starlets remain.
WEDNESDAY 13
“Second Chance” (KASA-2 8pm) In
this Frankenstein-esque cop show,
a 75-year-old sheriff is resurrected
as a younger (and, conveniently,
superpowered) version of himself
by billionaire scientists. Because
everything has to be a cop show
these days.
“Teachers” (TV Land 9:02pm) All six
members of viral video sketch
comedy troupe the Katydids (all of
whom are named some form of
“Katie”) star in this sitcom about a
bunch of largely inappropriate
elementary school teachers. a
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[19]
[20]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
FILM | CAPSULES
BY DEVIN D. O’LEARY
OPENING THIS WEEK
The 2016 Albuquerque Film Festival
at Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas
Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14
Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16)
Theeb
The 2016 outing of the “socially conscious” Albuquerque
Film Festival splits its time between Guild Cinema and
the Aux Dog Theater. Highlights include the Muay Thai
documentary Under the Lights in Thailand, the nerdy road
trip comedy Non-Stop to Comic-Con, the retro fashion
model documentary Pin Up! The Movie and the “stoned
hikers vs. space aliens” horror flick Star Leaf. For a
complete schedule of films and times, go to
abqfilmfestival.com. (Opens Thursday 1/7 at Guild
Cinema)
This “Bedouin Western,” set in the land of Lawrence of
Arabia, finds a desert-dwelling guide hired by a British
Army officer to help locate a lost oasis. As war rages in
1916 Saudi Arabia, the adventurous group soon finds
itself beset by Ottoman mercenaries, Arab revolutionaries
and outcast Bedouin raiders. Worse still, our guide’s
mischievous younger brother (the titular Theeb) is secretly
tagging along behind. In Arabic with English subtitles.
100 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Tuesday 1/12 at Guild
Cinema)
Blade Runner: The Final Cut
Troublemakers: The Story of Land Art
Check out Ridley Scott’s “final” tinkering with his seminal
1982 sci-fi flick. (Semantic appearances to the contrary,
he didn’t actually have anything to do with the 1992
“Director’s Cut.”) Whether or not the few new edits and
additions result in a tighter overall theme are irrelevant.
This is still one of the finest science fiction films ever
made and an absolute privilege to see digitally restored.
117 minutes. R. (Opens Sunday 1/10 at Century 14
Downtown, Century Rio)
This artistic documentary unearths the exploits of a group
of renegade New York artists who “sought to transcend
the limitations of painting and sculpture” by constructing
monumental earthworks in the desolate deserts of the
American Southwest in the late 1960s and early ’70s.
Among the artists interviewed are Robert Smithson
(Spiral Jetty), Walter De Maria (The Lightning Field) and
Michael Heizer (Double Negative). 72 minutes. Unrated.
(Opens Saturday 1/9 at Guild Cinema)
The Forest
The World of Kanako
Welcome January’s first cheap horror flick. Natalie Dormer
(Margaery Tyrell from “Game of Thrones”) stars as a young
woman searching for her twin sister who has gone
missing in Aokigahara, a Japanese forest famed as a
favorite spot for suicides. Supernatural weirdness ensues.
95 minutes. PG-13. (Opens Thursday 1/7 at Rio Rancho
Premiere Cinema, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12
Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio,
Cottonwood Stadium 16)
The Happiest Days of Your Life
This manic, 1950 farce from the UK finds Alastair Sim
and Margaret Rutherford among the staff of two schools
(one all-boys and one all-girls) being amalgamated into
one as part of a bureaucratic mix-up. Naturally, all sorts
of comic chaos ensues. 81 minutes. (Opens Saturday
1/9 at Guild Cinema)
My Friend Victoria
This probing look at the politics of race and gender starts
by introducing us to an 8-year-old black girl named
Victoria (Keylia Achie Beguie), who is taken in for a night
by the wealthy, white, well-intentioned family of one of her
schoolmates. The experience haunts her for years to
come, shaping her desires and dreams. As an adult
(played by newcomer Guslagie Malanda), she drifts from
job to job in modern-day Paris. This poignant economic
drama is based on Nobel laureate Doris Lessing’s story
“Victoria and the Staveneys.” In French with English
subtitles. 95 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Tuesday 1/12 at
Guild Cinema)
Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict
As the primary procurer for her uncle’s famous New York
museum, heiress Peggy Guggenheim led an enviable life—
jetting around the globe, hobnobbing with Duchamp,
Pollock, Cocteau, Beckett and Rothko and collecting just
about every piece of famous 20th century modern art.
Director Lisa Immordino Vreeland (Diana Vreeland: The
Eye Has to Travel) captures the life of this extraordinary
patron of the arts in a way that is beautiful, thrilling and a
little bit scandalous. 97 minutes. Unrated. (Opens
Saturday 1/9 at Guild Cinema)
The Revenant
After a brief flirtation with humor in Birdman or (The
Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) filmmaker Alejandro
González Iñárritu returns to the painfully grim style of his
early films (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel, Biutiful).
Leonardo DiCaprio plays a frontiersman leading a furtrapping expedition in 1820 who is abandoned and
betrayed by the men who hired him. What follows is an
extremely brutal tale of survival and (ultimately) revenge.
It’s extravagantly visual and hard to look away from—but
rather punishing. 156 minutes. R. (Opens Thursday 1/7
At the request of his ex-wife, a drunken, self-loathing
detective (Koji Yakusho from 13 Assassins) cruises the
garish nighttime streets of Tokyo searching for his
estranged teenage daughter. Like George C. Scott in Paul
Schrader’s Hardcore, our “hero?” is ready, willing and
able to unleash bloody vengeance on her corrupters. But
he’s got no idea how dark and depraved things are going
to get. Director Tetsuya Nakashima (Confessions)
unleashes gallons of blood, sweat and tears, some crazed
animation and plenty of ADHD-style editing in service to
this unbelievably nihilistic crime saga. In Japanese with
English subtitles. 118 minutes. Unrated. (Opens Friday
1/8 at Guild Cinema)
STILL PLAYING
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road
Chip
Computer-animated rodents/pop stars the Chipmunks
mistakenly decide that their adoptive human father/band
manager (yeah, I really don’t understand any of this
concept) is getting married. So they drive to Miami to
stop the wedding. Jason Lee and Bella Thorne are the
unfortunate humans in this fourth outing. 86 minutes. PG.
(Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown,
Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Grande 12
Albuquerque IMAX)
The Big Short
Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, Christian Bale, Steve Carell,
Marisa Tomei, Karen Gillan and Melissa Leo star in this
cynical comedy-drama about four outsiders in the world
of high-finance who predicted the credit and housing
bubble collapse of the mid-2000s and set out to expose
the greed and shortsightedness of the big banks. Adam
McKay (Anchorman, Talladega Nights) writes and directs,
based on the nonfiction book by Michael Lewis. 130
minutes. R. (Century 14 Downtown, Century Rio,
Cottonwood Stadium 16, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema)
Carol
Director Todd Haynes (Far From Heaven, Mildred Pierce)
returns again to the 1950s for another ravishing, Douglas
Sirk-esque romantic melodrama. Rooney Mara (The Girl
With the Dragon Tattoo) is a shy, New York shopgirl who
engages in The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name with a
rich, suburban housewife (the always perfect Cate
Blanchett). The leads are excellent and the period
recreation is meticulous. But for all its confrontation of
midcentury social mores, the film remains formal as a
dinner party and a bit chilly around the edges. Based on
the controversial novel The Price of Salt by Patricia
Highsmith. 118 minutes. R. (Century 14 Downtown)
Concussion
Will Smith stars as the real-life African pathologist who
uncovered the truth about brain damage in football
players who suffer repeated concussions in the course of
normal play. It’s the perfect film for people who love
football but are looking for a reason to hate it. 123
minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Grande
12 Albuquerque IMAX, Century 14 Downtown, Century
Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16)
Creed
Sylvester Stallone (who neither directs nor writes this
film) takes a clever turn in this seventh Rocky movie by
mostly staying out of the center ring. Written and directed
by the man who gave us the gritty Fruitvale Station, this
sporting drama focuses on the troubled son of late boxer
Apollo Creed, who turns to Creed’s old frenemy, former
Heavyweight Champion Rocky Balboa, to serve as his
trainer and mentor. Michael B. Jordan, last seen (or not)
in Fantastic Four, is our young boxer-to-be. 132 minutes.
PG-13. (Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16)
for Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. Howard creates some
evocative images of early 19th century New England. And
the film’s 3D special effects viscerally capture life aboard
a whaling ship. The subject matter—the brutal, archaic
whaling industry—might not be everyone’s cup of tea,
however. Reviewed in v24 i50. 121 minutes. PG-13.
(Century Rio)
Joy
Writer-director David O. Russell rejoins a lot of his cast
from Silver Linings Playbook for this chaotic comedydrama about the life of real-life inventor and entrepreneur
Joy Mangano, who created the Miracle Mop. The film—
featuring the wonderful Jennifer Lawrence in the title
role—is mostly an oddball American success story about
the ins and outs of running a family business. Like all of
Russell’s films, the tone is off-kilter throughout. 124
minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon
Cinemas Albuquerque, Century 14 Downtown, Century
Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16)
Krampus
Daddy’s Home
Will Ferrell is a mild-mannered radio executive trying his
best to connect with his two stepchildren. The task
becomes harder when the kids’ kick-ass biological father
(Mark Wahlberg) comes home for a visit. If you loved
Ferrell and Wahlberg in The Other Guys ... then your taste
is questionable. 96 minutes. PG-13. (Century 14
Downtown, Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century Rio,
Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Cottonwood Stadium 16,
Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX)
The Danish Girl
Eddie Redmayne (The Theory of Everything) and Alicia
Vikander (Ex Machina) star in this “ficticious drama”
loosely based on the romance between Dutch artists
Gerda Wegener and Lili Elbe, an early transgender pioneer
and one of the first recipients of sex reassignment
surgery. 119 minutes. R. (Century Rio)
The Good Dinosaur
Pixar and Disney imagine a world in which a rogue
asteroid didn’t wipe out the dinosaurs, allowing them to
live hand-in-hand (so to speak) with humans. Jeffrey
Wright, Frances McDormand, Anna Paquin and Sam
Elliott provide some of the voices for this tale of a gentle
Apatosaurus who makes an unlikely human friend while
traveling through a mysterious primeval landscape.
Reviewed in v24 i48. 100 minutes. PG. (Cottonwood
Stadium 16, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12
Albuquerque IMAX, Century Rio)
A boy who has had a bad Christmas ends up accidentally
summoning a traditional European Christmas demon
(named Krampus, of course) to his family home. Adam
Scott ( “Parks and Recreation”), Toni Collette (Little Miss
Sunshine), David Koechner (Anchorman: The Legend of
Ron Burgundy) and Allison Tolman (“Fargo”) are among
the cast of this seasonal horror comedy. 98 minutes. PG13. (Century Rio)
Point Break
A mostly unknown cast (Édgar Ramirez? Luke Bracey?)
takes over for Patrick Swayze and Keanu Reeves in this
dudebro remake of the 1991 surfing bank robber cult
classic. This time around, the filmmakers throw in a bunch
more “extreme” sports to jack up the adrenaline levels to
distract from the fact that the story is still silly as hell.
113 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Icon
Cinemas Albuquerque, Century 14 Downtown, Century
Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Grande 12 Albuquerque
IMAX)
Sisters
“SNL” pals Tina Fey and Amy Poehler reunite for this rude
’n’ crude comedy about two sisters who decide to throw
one last, raging house party before their parents sell off
their childhood home. Raucous and outrageous as it is at
times, there’s still a humane and heartfelt undercurrent to
the story about growing up and moving on. 118 minutes.
R. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown,
Century Rio, Icon Cinemas Albuquerque, Cottonwood
Stadium 16, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX)
The Hateful Eight
Quentin Tarantio constructs a chatty, claustrophobic
mystery smack dab in the middle of a violent spaghetti
Western. In it, a bounty hunter (Kurt Russell) is trapped
with a prisoner (Jennifer Jason Leigh) in a remote
stagecoach stop in the middle of the Wyoming Wilderness
by a raging blizzard. The only question is who of his fellow
strandees (Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Roth, Bruce Dern and
Michael Madsen among them) are fellow bounty hunters
hoping to steal his prisoner and how many of them are
the lady’s compatriots trying to free her? This crazed,
funny, vulgar, bloody mashup is like Stagecoach crossed
with The Thing, written by Agatha Christie and directed by
Sergio Leone. Reviewed in v24 i52. 168 minutes. R. (Rio
Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century 14 Downtown, Century
Rio, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX, Icon Cinemas
Albuquerque, Cottonwood Stadium 16)
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2
Jennifer Lawrence finally gets around to overthrowing the
evil futuristic government in this, the fourth film of the
Hunger Games trilogy. This surprisingly dark outing takes
its time getting to the epic final seige. But fans will eat it
up anyway. 137 minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere
Cinema, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16)
In the Heart of the Sea
Thor himself, Chris Hemsworth stars in this historical
survival tale directed by Ron Howard. The story is based
on the true account of the Essex, a ship that was sunk by
a gigantic whale in 1820 and served as the inspiration
Spotlight
Actor/director Tom McCarthy (The Station Agent, The
Visitor) writes and directs this serious, sweeping true
story about how Boston Globe reporters uncovered a
massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within
the local Catholic Archdiocese. This journalistic
procedural lays as much blame on the media as the
churches. The big cast (Mark Ruffalo, Michael Keaton,
Rachel McAdams, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Stanley
Tucci) is in rare form, and the muckraking script is
gripping (if a bit prosaic). 128 minutes. R. (Century Rio)
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
It’s been 30 years since the Empire was crushed in
Return of the Jedi. But something evil has risen from the
ashes, forcing a new generation of heroes (John Boyega
and Daisy Ridley among them) to team up with legendary
freedom fighters Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess
Leia (Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher,
returning for another go-around). J.J. Abrams ( “Lost,” Star
Trek Into Darkness) directs this first new Star Wars film in
10 years. It’s littered (both literally and figuratively) with
references to the original film. By mirroring the Star Wars:
Episode IV—A New Hope story almost beat-for-beat, the
film lacks a level of narrative surprise. But it’s smartly
nostalgic and a hell of a lot of fun to watch—which is
something Episodes I, II and III completely forgot. 140
minutes. PG-13. (Rio Rancho Premiere Cinema, Century
14 Downtown, Century Rio, Cottonwood Stadium 16, Icon
Cinemas Albuquerque, Grande 12 Albuquerque IMAX)
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[21]
FILM | TIMES wEEk oF FrI., january 8-ThurS., january 14
CENTURY 14 DOWNTOWN
100 Central SW • 1 (800) 326-3264 ext. 943#
Blade Runner: The Final Cut Sun 2:00; Wed 2:00; 7:00
The Forest Fri-Sun 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35, 10:00; Mon-Thu
12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:35
The Revenant Fri-Sun 11:55am, 3:30, 7:00, 10:30; Mon-Thu
11:55am, 3:30, 7:00
The Hateful Eight Fri-Sun 11:15am, 2:55, 6:35, 10:15;
Mon-Thu 11:15am, 2:55, 6:35
Carol Fri-Sun 1:40, 4:30, 7:20, 10:10; Mon-Wed 1:40, 4:30,
7:20; Thu 1:40
Point Break Fri-Sat 11:40am, 2:25, 5:15, 8:00, 10:50; Sun
5:15, 8:00, 10:50; Mon-Tue 11:40am, 2:25, 5:15, 8:00;
Thu 11:40am, 2:25
Joy Fri-Sun 1:25, 4:20, 7:25, 10:35; Mon-Thu 1:25, 4:20,
7:25
Concussion Fri-Sun 1:30, 4:35, 7:50, 10:50; Mon-Wed
1:30, 4:35, 7:50; Thu 1:30
Daddy’s Home Fri-Sun 11:20am, 1:50, 4:25, 7:15, 9:45;
Mon-Thu 11:20am, 1:50, 4:25, 7:15
The Big Short Fri-Sun 1:45, 4:45, 7:45, 10:45; Mon-Thu
1:45, 4:45, 7:45
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Sun 11:30am,
2:20, 4:40, 7:10, 9:35; Mon-Thu 11:30am, 2:20, 4:40,
7:10,
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Sun 1:00, 2:05, 4:15,
5:20, 7:30, 8:35, 10:40; Mon-Thu 1:00, 2:05, 4:15, 5:20,
7:30
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Sun 11:35am, 3:10,
6:25, 9:40; Mon-Thu 11:35am, 3:10, 6:25
Sisters Fri-Sun 11:05am, 1:55, 4:50, 7:40, 10:30; Mon-Thu
11:05am, 1:55, 4:50, 7:40
CENTURY RIO
I-25 & Jefferson • 1 (800) 326-3264
Blade Runner: The Final Cut Sun 2:00; Wed 2:00, 7:00
The Good Dinosaur Sat-Thu 1:10, 4:00
The Revenant Fri-Thu 11:30am, 1:20, 3:15, 5:05, 7:00,
8:50, 10:45
The Forest Fri-Thu 11:35am, 2:20, 5:05, 7:50, 10:35
The Danish Girl Fri-Thu 12:45, 3:55, 7:05, 10:15
Point Break Fri-Wed 12:30, 3:35, 6:40, 9:45; Thu 12:30,
3:35
Joy Fri-Thu 1:00, 4:15, 7:30, 10:40
Concussion Fri-Thu 12:55, 4:10, 7:15, 10:30
The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 12:05, 2:05, 4:05, 6:05, 8:05,
10:05, 11:15
Spotlight Fri-Sat 12:20, 6:55; Sun 6:55; Mon 12:20, 6:55;
Tue 12:20; Thu 12:20
Daddy’s Home Fri-Thu 11:00am, 12:15, 1:40, 3:00, 4:25,
5:45, 7:10, 8:30, 9:55
The Big Short Fri-Thu 12:40, 4:00, 7:20, 10:40
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Thu 1:30,
4:10, 6:50, 9:30
Sisters Fri-Thu 1:05, 4:20, 7:25, 10:35
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Sat 11:25am, 12:35,
1:45, 2:55, 4:05, 5:15, 6:25, 7:35, 8:45, 9:55, 11:05;
Sun-Thu 11:25am, 12:35, 1:45, 2:55, 4:05, 5:15, 6:25,
7:35, 8:45, 9:55
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Sat 12:00, 1:10, 2:20,
3:30, 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:10, 9:20, 10:30, 11:40; Sun-Thu
12:00, 1:10, 2:20, 3:30, 4:40, 5:50, 7:00, 8:10, 9:20,
10:30
In the Heart of the Sea Fri-Sat 3:55, 10:20; Sun 10:20;
Mon 3:55, 10:20; Wed 10:20; Thu 3:55
Krampus Fri-Thu 6:45, 9:30
Creed Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:45, 7:05, 10:25
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:50,
7:15, 10:45
COTTONWOOD STADIUM 16
Cottonwood Mall • 897-6858
The Revenant Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:45, 8:00, 9:50
The Forest Fri-Thu 11:35am, 2:00, 4:30, 7:25, 10:00
The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 11:40am, 3:50, 8:00
Point Break 3D Fri-Thu 3:45, 7:30
Point Break Fri-Thu 12:35, 10:25
Joy Fri-Thu 12:05, 3:10, 7:10, 10:20
Daddy’s Home Fri-Thu 11:30am, 2:05, 4:35, 7:15, 7:45,
9:55, 10:25
Concussion Fri-Thu 12:25, 3:30, 7:00, 10:10
The Big Short Fri-Thu 11:50am, 3:40, 7:00, 10:15
Sisters Fri-Thu 12:15, 3:15, 7:05, 10:10
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Thu 11:40am,
[22]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
2:20, 4:50, 7:20
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 12:00, 2:50, 3:20,
6:40, 9:30, 10:00
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 11:30am, 12:30,
3:50, 6:10, 7:10, 10:30
The Good Dinosaur Fri-Thu 11:45am, 2:10, 4:50
Creed Fri-Thu 11:45am 3:15, 6:35, 9:45
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Fri-Thu 11:50am,
3:30, 6:50, 10:15
GRANDE 12 ALBUQUERQUE IMAX
3810 Las Estancias SW •
Star Wars: The Force Awakens An IMAX 3D Experience FriThu 12;30, 4:00, 7:20, 10:30
The Revenant Fri-Thu 12:30, 4:00, 7:20, 10:40
The Forest Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:30, 4:10, 7:15, 9:15, 10:30
The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 12:30, 4:45, 8:40
The Good Dinosaur Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:35, 4:10
Sisters Fri-Thu 10:50am, 1:40, 4:30, 7:20, 10:10
Point Break 3D Fri-Thu 7:15, 10:00
Point Break Fri-Thu 10:50am, 1:35
Daddy’s Home Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:50, 4:50, 7:30, 10:20
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Thu 10:50,
1:10, 4:10, 6:50
Concussion Fri-Thu 12:10, 4:35, 7:35, 10:35
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:10, 6:30,
9:50
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 11:00am, 2:10, 4:20,
5:30, 7:45, 8:40
GUILD CINEMA
3405 Central NE • 255-1848
The 2016 Albuquerque Film Festival Fri call for films and
times
The World of Kanako Fri-Sat 10:30
The Happiest Days of Your Life Sat-Sun 1:00
Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict Sat-Mon 4:00, 8:00
Troublemakers: The Story of Land Art Sat-Mon 6:15
Theeb Tue-Thu 3:30, 8:15
My Friend Victoria Tue-Thu 6:00
HIGH RIDGE
12910 Indian School NE • 275-0038
Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times.
ICON CINEMAS ALBUQUERQUE
13120-A Central Ave. SE • 814-7469
The Revenant Fri-Tue 12:40, 3:50, 7:00, 10:10; Wed-Thu call
for film times
The Forest Fri-Tue 1:30, 3:40, 5:50, 8:00, 9:30, 10:10,
10:30; Wed-Thu call for film times
The Hateful Eight Fri-Tue 11:30am, 3:00, 6:30, 9:55; WedThu call for film times
Daddy’s Home Fri-Tue 11:30am, 12:30, 2:45, 5:00, 7:15,
9:30; Wed-Thu call for film times
Point Break Fri-Tue 11:40am, 4:30, 7:00; Wed-Thu call for
film times
Joy Fri-Tue 11:30am, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30; Wed-Thu call for film
times
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Tue 12:40, 1:40, 3:35,
4:05, 4:35, 6:30, 7:00, 7:30, 9:25, 10:25; Wed-Thu call
for film times
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Tue 1:10, 10:00; WedThu call for film times
Sisters Fri-Tue 11:30am, 2:05, 4:40, 7:15, 9:55; Wed-Thu
call for film times
The Good Dinosaur Fri-Tue 2:10; Wed-Thu call for film times
MOVIES 8
4591 San Mateo NE • 1 (800) Fandango, express # 1194
The 33 Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:10, 6:20, 9:30
The Martian 3D Fri-Thu 12:40, 4:10, 7:50
The Martian Fri-Thu 11:30am, 3:00, 6:30, 10:00
Love the Coopers Fri-Thu 5:50, 9:00
The Peanuts Movie 3D Fri-Thu 2:20, 9:50
The Peanuts Movie Fri-Thu 11:50am, 4:50, 7:20
Hotel Transylvania 2 3D Fri-Thu 12:50, 3:20
Hotel Transylvania 2 Fri-Thu 11:40am, 2:10, 4:40, 7:10,
9:40
Goosebumps 3D Fri-Thu 3:50, 10:20
Goosebumps Fri-Thu 12:10, 7:30
Sicario Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:30, 7:00, 10:10
MOVIES WEST
9201 Coors NW • 1 (800) Fandango, express # 1247
Love the Coopers Fri-Thu 12:20, 3:20, 6:20, 9:20
The 33 Fri-Thu 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30
The Martian 3D Fri-Thu 2:30, 5:30, 9:10
The Martian Fri-Thu 12:10, 4:00, 7:30
Secret in Their Eyes Fri-Thu 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40
The Peanuts Movie Fri-Thu 12:00, 3:00, 6:00, 9:00
Hotel Transylvania 2 3D Fri-Thu 4:10, 10:00
Hotel Transylvania 2 Fri-Thu 1:00, 7:00
Goosebumps 3D Fri-Thu 3:50, 9:50
Goosebumps Fri-Thu 12:50, 6:50
RIO RANCHO PREMIERE CINEMA
1000 Premiere Parkway • 994-3300
The Revenant Fri-Thu 11:50am, 3:20, 6:50, 10:20
The Forest Fri-Thu 11:20am, 2:00, 4:40, 7:20, 10:00
The Big Short Fri-Thu 12:30, 3:40, 6:50, 10:00
The Hateful Eight Fri-Thu 11:45am, 12:45, 3:40, 4:40, 7:35,
8:35
Concussion Fri-Thu 1:05, 4:05, 7:05, 10:05
Point Break 3D Fri-Thu 6:50
Point Break Fri-Thu 12:45
Joy Fri-Thu 11:10am, 2:10, 5:10, 8:10
Daddy’s Home Fri-Wed 11:00am, 1:35, 4:10, 6:45, 9:20;
Thu 11:00am, 1:35, 4:10
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip Fri-Wed 11:40am,
2:10, 4:40, 7:10, 9:40; Thu 11:40am, 2:10, 4:40
Star Wars: The Force Awakens 3D Fri-Thu 12:35, 2:30, 7:25,
9:20
Star Wars: The Force Awakens Fri-Thu 11:05am, 11:35am,
3:00, 4:00, 5:55, 6:25, 9:50, 10:40
Sisters Fri-Thu 11:00am, 1:55, 4:50, 7:45, 10:40
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2 Fri-Thu 3:35, 9:40
WINROCK STADIUM 16 IMAX & RPX
2100 Louisiana Blvd. NE • 881-2220
Please check alibi.com/filmtimes for films and times.
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[23]
Thursday JAN 7 8:00pm Doors
WINTER METAL TRIBUTE
I'M BROKEN (PANTERA TRIBUTE)
SONS OF ICARUS (IRON MAIDEN TRIBUTE BAND)
BACK IN BLACK (AC\DC TRIBUTE BAND)
DOGSMACK (GODSMACK TRIBUTE)
Friday JAN 8 8:00pm Doors
LEFTOVER CRACK
PEARS + DAYS N DAZE
Saturday JAN 9 8:00pm Doors
THROW THE TEMPLE + ANESTHESIA
MY OWN IRIS (CO) + THE TALKING HOURS
Sunday JAN 10 11:00am-3:00pm Doors
PUNK ROCK FLEA MARKET
Sunday JAN 10 8:00pm Doors
TASCAM PRESENTS:
THE ALBUQUERQUE BATTLE OF THE BANDS FINALS:
DEJA VU AGAIN + THE ENCHANTED NOMADS FIVE
MILE FLOAT + RED RAGE
BEYOND THE TRIALS + DAYBREAK
SHADOW REMAINS + WE THE FAUST
THE NEW RELIC + ELI THOMAS + ACROSS IN VAIN
Thursday JAN 14 8:00pm Doors
MIC CLUB 35
STARRING CRYOGENIK + SKATA JAY
HOSTED BY: SUBLMNL RNSONS MIC CLUB 34 CHAMP
RILL + INT'L PETEY & DJ SHADOE
DAVONTE KIDTANA + AML CORLEONE
BENNY BROWNCOAT + MIC FEEDER ENT.
DMIZE + PAYCHECK STUBBZ + DOPE BOYZ
DIZZY VILLAIN + B WILLUS + KANNIBAL KARNIE
Friday JAN 15 8:00pm Doors
FALLEN PROPHETS
CD RELEASE SHOW
SUSPENDED + END TO END
ECHOES OF FALLEN + ICEOLUS + DEFLESHMENT
Saturday JAN 16 8:00pm Doors
KID DINOSAUR
CD RELEASE SHOW
BEARD + UGLY ROBOT
Thursday JAN 7 8:00pm Doors
DOUBLE PLOW
DEAD REBELS + THE HANKS
Friday JAN 8 8:00pm Doors
PERSONALS + TRAIN CONDUCTOR
WASTED INC. + STAR CANYON
Saturday JAN 9 8:00pm Doors
WINTER WARRIOR TOUR 2016
MEGANOKE
(AZ)
MIC DELI + NICK FURIOUSSTYLE
CAID + DJ INTRO
Tuesday JAN 12 8:00pm Doors
AMERICAN AQUARIUM
ALEX MARYOL BAND
Thursday JAN 14 8:00pm Doors
THE SHACKS
WASTED INC. + SLOAN ARMITAGE
Friday JAN 15 8:00pm Doors
SPOONFED
TRIBE
MERICAN SLANG
Saturday JAN 16 8:00pm Doors
LONN CALANCA BAND
PINK FREUD (PINK FLOYD TRIBUTE BAND)
[24]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
MUSIC | SHow Up!
Music
Calendar
THURSDAY JAN 7
PHOTO BY SPAZTACULAR
Leftöver Crack
Cold Times, Hot Shows!
Four rockin’ gigs for a wintry town
BY AUGUST MARCH
ak tree, you’re in my way.” A line from
“That Smell” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
“O
I had a friend in art school that was fairly
well off. He was a gun-toting, bronze pouring
hipster from Chicago who always muttered
this phrase as we were about to depart for any
number of shows in Burque, back in the day.
He ended up being an executive at Disney
(goes to show what’s possible with an art
degree) so go figure. That said, don’t let
anything—except the cold, oaken specter of
death—hold you back from checking out these
shows this week here in our town.
Thursday
Okay, so there’s a show at Sister (417 Central
NW) that you should definitely show up for on
Thursday, Jan. 7. The gig features some of
Burque’s baddest rock and pop outfits plus a
band called Adult Beverage outta Califas. I
listened to some of their output before the gig,
especially for you, dear reader and will report
that their gravelly yet ringing guitar sound,
enhanced by dreamy, echo-laden vocals and
drifting rhythmics might just be the ticket to a
lo-fi pop paradise. They’ll be joined on stage
by Train Conductor, a local band that hews to
a traditional interpretation of psychedelic rock
while embuing the genre with a masterful use
of instrumentation and production techniques.
Lilah Rose, a multi-instrumentalist who favors
a ghostly form of electro-pop that emphasizes
vocals, poetic narratives and synthesizers
shares the bill with Tear Pressure, an up and
coming energy rock ensemble. Three dollars in
galactic credits will get 21+ listeners through
the portal at Sister; the show starts at 8pm.
Friday
New York punk is a thing. For those of us who
came up with a pronounced left coast and/or
Middle America inclination, the form can
seem a bit louche. That is, until further
inspection reveals a sound that embraces many
of the same political values and people fancied
by the comrades in the Bay City, Inland
Empire or Orange County. Such is the case
with Leftöver Crack. The rock group is at
Launchpad (618 Central SW) on Friday, Jan.
8. The quintet lives the hardcore aesthetic
authentically, being proponents of a form of
crust-inspired radical leftism that calls into
question authority, religion and capitalism
through tuneage that is riotously intense and
provocatively propulsive. Interestingly, their
guitarist, Brad Logan is a notable member of
the Cali punk and ska scene, made famous in a
song by Rancid as well as being a roadie for
NOFX and Dance Hall Crashers. Leftöver
Crack front man STZA (Scott Sturgeon) got
his stage moniker employing the same quasimystical process used by members of the WuTang Clan; he’s serious as fuck. With bassist
Alec Baillie—whose formative work in third
wave ska outfit Agent 99 continues to be
overlooked—and a revolving lineup of
sidemen, Leftöver Crack is essential listening.
This 13+ punk rock powerhouse can be
witnessed for a mere 15 bones. It all
begins at 8:30pm.
Saturday
Tune in on Saturday, Jan. 9, at Low Spirits
(2823 Second Street NW) for a show by
Meganoke AKA Meagan Jacobsen. She’s a
multi-media artist with musical output that
combines trip-hop beats, lofty lyricism and
brain-whacking visuals into an experience that
is elusively postmodern yet plangently primal
in execution. Jacobsen’s output as Meganoke
has much to do with her collaboration with
enigmatic underground rap demigod and
producer Riddlore; he’s produced three of her
albums and his influence is felt as a timekeeper of sorts, organizing and setting
boundaries for Meganoke’s wide-ranging,
oceanic flow. Works such as 2013’s “Lord of
the Dawn” touch the industrial as well as the
ethereal with fierce efficiency. The Winter
Warrior Tour also features Albuquerque-style
hip hop from trio Mic Deli, the blues and funk
informed rap of Caid and the inimitable
underground sound of Nick FuriousStyle.
Five Washingtons to get in, a fab 21+ crowd
and a 9pm curtain; what more can you ask for?
Tuesday
If the precision, post-metal peculiarities of
prog, technical and death metal (including but
not limited to wanton experimentation with
complex time-signatures, bottomless tuning
strategies and scatological references to beat
the band) are what you crave, then saunter on
over to the Co-Op (415 Central NW) for this
town’s iteration of the Tech Slam Tour 2016.
Headliners Aethere incorporate a plethora of
deconstuctive devices in the production of
their signature sound: guitarist Garrett Wasson
plays a nine-string axe, tuned A E A E A D G
B E; his cohort Chris Tognetti handles a guitar
that only has eight strings. Parasitic
Ejaculation, a brutal death metal quintet outta
Santa Cruz, Calif.—whose 2013 full length
Rationing the Sacred Human Remains features a
post-apocalyptic zombie theme—and El Paso’s
Triumph Over Shipwreck open the evening’s
dark and damnably dystopian discourse that
begins at 6pm. Tickets cost $10; the Co-Op is
an all-ages, drug- and alcohol-free concert
environment. a
BEN MICHAEL’S Gerald Lujan Latin Jam Session • 7pm •
FREE
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Planet Rock Dance Party • 9pm •
FREE
DIRTY BOURBON Randall King Band • country • 6pm • $5
HOTEL ANDALUZ Jesus Bas y MÁS • 7pm • ALL-AGES!
LAUNCHPAD I’m Broken (Pantera Tribute) • Sons of Icarus
(Iron Maiden Tribute Band) • Back in Black (ACDC
Tribute Band) • Dogsmack (Godsmack Tribute) • 9pm •
$5
LEO’S NIGHTCLUB Baby Bash • rap, hip-hop • 8pm • $25
LOW SPIRITS Double Plow • rock • Dead Rebels • The
Hanks • 9:30pm • $5
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Steve Kern • 6pm • FREE
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Open Mic/Jam •
DeRangers • 7pm
RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY Eryn Bent • indie, folk •
4pm • Last Call • punk rock • 6pm • FREE
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Latin Night • VDJ Dany • hip-hop,
rock, bachata, salsa • 9pm
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Thirsty Thursday • The
Lymbs • acoustic rock • Andy & The Drews • 8pm • FREE
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Karaoke • 9:30pm
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Bob Tate • solo piano • 6pm • FREE
FRIDAY JAN 8
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Def~I • Akword Actwrite • Johnny
James •Courtney Hampton • 9pm • FREE
THE CO-OP Insubordinate Youth 10 Year Reunion • metal,
punk • Zealous Grooves • Sundog • B Wrap Babeh •
7pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
DIRTY BOURBON Randall King Band • country • 6pm • $5
ELDORADO HOTEL & SPA, Santa Fe Wes & Mito • guitar
duo, jazzamenco, rumba flamenca • 5:30pm
ISLETA RESORT & CASINO: THE SHOWROOM The
World’s Ultimate Elvis: Justin Shandor • 8pm •
$15-$25 • See Event Horizon
LAUNCHPAD Leftöver Crack • rock • PEARS • Days N Daze •
8:30pm • $15
LOUNGE 54 @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo David & Co. •
variety • 9pm • FREE
LOW SPIRITS Personals • Train Conductor • Wasted Inc. •
9pm • $5
LUCKY 66 BOWL, DEWAR’S PUB Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK •
9pm
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Skip Batchelor • acoustic solo •
1:30pm • Stil Rockn’ • classic rock • 6pm • FREE
NOB HILL BAR & GRILL DJ Ohm • 10pm • FREE
PRIME, Rio Rancho SHANE • singer-songwriter • 6pm •
FREE • ALL-AGES!
PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Calle 66 • salsa • all-you-can-eat
pizza • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Jazz West • smooth jazz •
7am • FREE • ALL-AGES!
RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY Black Smoke Blues
Band • blues rock • 6:30pm • FREE
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Glitter • Queer Women’s Dance Party •
DJ OONA • 8pm • $10 • DJ Dany’s Latin Fridays • The
Alchemy Party • DJs Dynamite Sol & Poetics • 9pm • $7
STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo Ladies Night • DJ
Andy Gil • EDM, hip-hop, Top 40 • 9pm • $0 for ladies
with FB check in, $10
TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Bad Katz Trio +1 • 10pm
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Brushfire • country •
9:30pm
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Calvin Appleberry • solo piano,
jazz, R&B • 7pm • FREE
SATURDAY JAN 9
BEN MICHAEL’S Afternoon Jam • acoustic, singersongwriter • 1pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE URB 15 • Universal Battle Realm •
9pm • FREE • Universal Battle Realm Anniversary • rap
battles • 9:30pm • $10
THE CO-OP Pop Punk Night • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
DIRTY BOURBON Randall King Band • country • 6pm • $5
LAUNCHPAD Rock and Roll Winter Ball • Throw The
Temple • alternative rock, hard rock • Anesthesia • My
Own Iris (CO) • The Talking Hours • 9pm • $5
LAZY LIZARD GRILL, Cedar Crest Odd Dog • classic rock •
7pm • FREE
Music Calender continues on page 26
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[25]
LOUNGE 54 @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo David & Co. •
variety • 9pm • FREE
LOW SPIRITS Meganoke (AZ) • singer • Mic Deli • Nick
FuriousStyle • Caid • 9pm • $5
LUCKY 66 BOWL, DEWAR’S PUB Karaoke • DJ DraZtiK •
9pm
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Rock Bottom • country • 1:30pm •
Dangerous Curvz • classic rock • 6pm • FREE
NOB HILL BAR & GRILL DJ Ohm • 10pm • FREE
PRIME, Rio Rancho Jeffrey Jones • blues, singersongwriter • 6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
PUEBLO HARVEST CAFÉ Jacky Zamora • Brazilian jazz •
all-you-can-eat pizza • 6pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Dos Coyotes • Latin duo •
7pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
RIO BRAVO BREWING COMPANY James Whiton • solo
loop bass madness • 6:30pm • FREE
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe So Sophisticated • DJ 12 Tribe • 9pm
STAGE @ SANTA ANA STAR, Bernalillo DJ Presto One •
EDM, house • 9pm • $5-$10
TIWA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE Bad Katz Trio +1 • 10pm
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK In the Mix: DJ Leftover
Soul • 9pm • FREE
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Brushfire • country •
9:30pm
VERNON’S OPEN DOOR Shane • singer-songwriter •
6:30pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Larry Freedman • solo piano •
7pm • FREE
ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Jade Masque • Latin, funk •
9:30pm
SUNDAY JAN 10
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE JOBS • experimental • Future Scars •
post-rock • Votives • punk, post-rock • 8pm • $5
LAUNCHPAD Albuquerque Battle Of The Bands Finals:
Deja Vu Again • The Enchanted Nomads • Five Mile
Float • Red Rage Beyond The Trials • Daybreak •
Shadow Remains • We The Faust • The New Relic • Eli
Thomas • Across In V • 4:15pm • $10-$15
VERNON’S SPEAKEASY Bob Tate • solo piano • 6pm • FREE
MONDAY JAN 11
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE Article 15 • Econarchy • Rudest
Priest • Ot-Un-Et-Ir • 9pm • FREE
THE CO-OP Hail the Sun • post-hardcore • Oranges •
Makari • 7pm • $10 • ALL-AGES!
LIZARD TAIL BREWING Open Mic Jam Night • Dave and
Friends • 7pm
TUESDAY JAN 12
BURT’S TIKI LOUNGE J. Bowra • Sagga Liffik • Deep Roots •
Catapilla • 9pm • FREE
THE CO-OP The Tech Slam Tour • Aethere • Parasitic
Ejaculation • Triumph Over Shipwreck • 6pm • $10 •
ALL-AGES!
LOW SPIRITS American Aquarium • Alex Maryol Band •
9pm • $8
MINE SHAFT TAVERN, Madrid Cactus Slim & The
GoatHeads Blues Jam • 7pm • FREE
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Cowboy Scott • country • 6pm •
FREE
N’AWLINS MARDI GRAS CAFE Todd Tijerina • blues, rock •
5pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
THE RANGE CAFÉ, Bernalillo Ivan Rane • fingerstyle
guitar • 6pm • FREE • ALL-AGES!
TRACTOR BREWERY WELLS PARK Kamikaze Karaoke •
8pm • FREE
ZINC WINE BAR & BISTRO Joe Teichman and TC Fambro •
folk, country, blues • 8pm
WEDNESDAY JAN 13
BEN MICHAEL’S Asher Barreras Jazz Jam Session • 7pm •
FREE
LIZARD TAIL BREWING ABQ Jazz Trio Open Jam • 7pm
MOLLY’S BAR, Tijeras Bella Luna • acoustic rock • 6pm •
FREE
POSH NIGHTCLUB Open Mic Comedy • Karaoke • 8pm •
FREE
SKYLIGHT, Santa Fe Flash Forward • DJ Poetics • ’80s,
’90s, disco • 9pm
SUNSHINE THEATER Granger Smith • singer-songwriter,
country • Earl Dibbles Jr • Drew Baldridge • 8pm •
$17.50
TRACTOR BREWING COMPANY Solos on the Hill: Kyle
Ruggles • loop pedal singer-songwriter • 8:30pm • FREE
TRIPLE SEVENS, Isleta Casino Whisky and Women
Wednedsay • DJ Remainz • 9:30pm
[26]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
MUSIC | IntervIew
PHOTO COURTESY OF JESSICA MILLS
Music Calender continued from page 25
The horn section of Citizen Fish: Miguel Reyes, Jessica Mills and Matt Dowse
More than
reality Allows
A conversation with Jessica Mills
BY AUGUST MARCH
As we stood on the sidewalk off Central, well
after I had stopped recording our interview,
Jessica Mills turned to me and said, “You know,
for a mediocre musician, I’ve had really good
luck.” Whether you chock it up to luck or
talent, Mills is an affable powerhouse, a
Renaissance woman whose resume includes a
book—My Mother Wears Combat Boots—
published by AK Press in 2007, over a decade of
work with the ultimate punk fanzine, Maximum
RocknRoll and her own long-running zine, Yard
Wide Yarns.
And that’s to say nothing of her credentials
as a musician. She was the first horn player in
the ska band Less Than Jake, a band that was
eventually signed to Capitol Records. The label
gave Mills an expensive brand-new saxophone,
which she quickly traded in for a bass guitar so
she could play in the sludgy all female Reina
Aveja. She’s played bass and horns in many
other bands like Crustaceans and Molotonic,
recorded with Against Me! and Latex
Generation and toured with Citizen Fish and
Forgetters; locally she guests on sax with Rudest
Priest, plays in Nose Blonde and the newlyformed no wave band Sentence Fragments and
occasionally makes some time to perform solo
jazz at Outpost Performance Space. I’m
exhausted just trying to chronicle her work, and
I’ve surely left a lot out.
“I’ve never been bored in my life,” Mills
confided as we looked out over the December
foot traffic in Nob Hill. “If I didn’t have some
sort of creative outlet, I’d just lose my mind. I
have to extend all of my minute free time into
creative projects. I have to prioritize it.” That’s
something that is truly remarkable about Mills;
she always seems to be striving to create
something meaningful within the many
mediums she works.
Her life as a musician started in eighth grade
band class—it just so happened to be the only
elective class left when Mills enrolled. She
wanted to play the drums, but got stuck with the
clarinet, quickly moving to first chair. “I was
kind of the best of the worst … story of my life,”
she said of that time before quickly adding, “but
I couldn’t stand the clarinet. The saxophone was
just cooler. It fit the personality that I was
honing at that time.”
During that same time Mills and her friend—
self-described as “freaky, new wave pre-punk kids
with funny haircuts”—founded The Nuclear
Wave Dancers, a two piece that existed solely
within the pages of spiral ring notebooks where
the two scrawled lyrics. The Nuclear Wave
Dancers never played a show, but, endearingly,
Mills cites it as her first musical project. She still
has the notebooks. Then, one summer her
“bandmate” came back from a trip to England
with a powerful discovery: punk rock.
In her hometown there wasn’t much of a
punk scene, but when she moved to Gainesville,
Fla. for college she gained greater access to punk
music, and not only that, but “there were
women playing punk,” Mills said, “I never
imagined I’d be able to do it before then. When
I saw women playing punk music it changed my
life.”
She was inspired by those women playing
local venues and icons like Laurie Anderson,
Poly Styrene and Wendy O. Williams. These
days she’s listening to G.L.O.S.S., Worriers,
Screaming Females, Downtown Boys and
Shellshag.
As she talks about her diverse musical and
artistic endeavors Mills reflected, “I don’t want
to keep doing what I’ve done in the past, I want
to do something new,” and she continues to do
so despite full time work as an educator and a
mother of two. She pauses and adds, “I’m gonna
try to do it all. I want to do more than reality
allows me to.”
To cull your own inspiration from this local
female musician playing across genres, keep an
eye out for upcoming Nose Blonde and
Sentence Fragment shows, stay keyed in to the
roster at Outpost and scan the shelves of your
local bookstore. a
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[27]
Free Will Astrology | Horoscopes by
ARIES (March 21-April 19): John Steinbeck won the
Nobel Prize for Literature in 1962. His novel Of Mice
and Men helped win him the award, but it required
extra persistence. When he’d almost finished the
manuscript, he went out on a date with his wife.
While they were gone, his puppy Toby ripped his
precious pages into confetti. As mad as he was, he
didn’t punish the dog, but got busy on a rewrite.
Later he considered the possibility that Toby had
served as a helpful literary critic. The new edition of
Of Mice and Men was Steinbeck’s breakout book. I’m
guessing that in recent months you have received
comparable assistance, Aries—although you may not
realize it was assistance until later this year.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Remember back to
what your life was like during the first nine months
of 2004. I suspect that you fell just short of fulfilling
a dream. It’s possible you were too young to have
the power you needed. Or maybe you were working
on a project that turned out to be pretty good but
not great. Maybe you were pushing to create a new
life for yourself but weren’t wise enough to make a
complete breakthrough. Almost 12 years later, you
have returned to a similar phase in your long-term
cycle. You are better equipped to do what you
couldn’t quite do before: create the masterpiece,
finish the job, rise to the next level.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): To become a skillful
singer, you must learn to regulate your breath.
You’ve got to take in more oxygen than usual for
extended periods, and do it in ways that facilitate
rather than interfere with the sounds coming out of
your mouth. When you’re beginning, it feels weird to
exert so much control over an instinctual impulse,
which previously you’ve done unconsciously. Later,
you have to get beyond your self-conscious
discipline so you can reach a point where the proper
breathing happens easily and gracefully. Although
you may not be working to become a singer in 2016,
Gemini, I think you will have comparable challenges:
1) to make conscious an activity that has been
unconscious; 2) to refine and cultivate that activity;
3) to allow your consciously-crafted approach to
become unselfconscious again.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Ancient humans didn’t
“invent” fire, but rather learned about it from nature
and then figured out how to produce it as needed.
Ropes had a similar origin. Our ancestors employed
long vines made of tough fiber as primitive ropes,
and eventually got the idea to braid and knot the
vines together for greater strength. This technology
was used to hunt, climb, pull, fasten and carry. It was
essential to the development of civilization. I predict
that 2016 will bring you opportunities that have
metaphorical resemblances to the early rope. Your
task will be to develop and embellish on what nature
provides.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): British author Anthony
Trollope (1815-1882) had a day job with the postal
service until he was in his fifties. For years he awoke
every morning at 5:30am and churned out 2,500
words before heading to work. His goal was to write
two or three novels a year, a pace he came close to
achieving. “A small daily task, if it really be daily,” he
wrote in his autobiography, “will beat the labors of a
spasmodic Hercules.” I recommend that you borrow
from his strategy in 2016, Leo. Be regular and
disciplined and diligent as you practice the art of
gradual, incremental success.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Umbrellas shelter us
from the rain, saving us from the discomfort of
getting soaked and the embarrassment of bad hair.
They also protect us from the blinding light and
sweltering heat of the sun. I’m very much in favor of
these practical perks. But when umbrellas appear in
your nightly dreams, they may have a less positive
meaning. They can indicate an inclination to shield
yourself from natural forces, or to avoid direct
contact with primal sensuality. I hope you won’t do
much of that in 2016. In my opinion, you need a lot
of face-to-face encounters with life in its raw state.
Symbolically speaking, this should be a non-umbrella
year.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Around the world, an
average of 26 languages go extinct every year. But
[28]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
rob brezsny
it increasingly appears that Welsh will not be one of
them. It has enjoyed a revival in the past few
decades. In Wales, it’s taught in many schools,
appears on road signs and is used in some mobile
phones and computers. Is there a comparable
phenomenon in your life, Libra? A tradition that can
be revitalized and should be preserved? A part of
your heritage that may be useful to your future? A
neglected aspect of your birthright that deserves to
be reclaimed? Make it happen in 2016.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Fourteenth-century
author Geoffrey Chaucer produced a collection of
stories known as The Canterbury Tales. It became a
seminal text of English literature even though he
never finished it. The most influential book ever
written by theologian Thomas Aquinas was a work
he gave up on before it was completed. The artist
Michelangelo never found the time to put the final
touches on numerous sculptures and paintings. Why
am I bringing this theme to your attention? Because
2016 will be an excellent time to wrap up long-term
projects you’ve been working on—and also to be at
peace with abandoning those you can’t.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A bottle of
Chateau Cheval Blanc wine from 1947 sold for
$304,000. Three bottles of Chateau LafiteRothschild 1869 went for $233,000 apiece. The
mystique about aged wine provokes crazy behavior
like that. But here’s a more mundane fact: Most wine
deteriorates with age, and should be sold within a
few years of being bottled. I’m thinking about these
things as I meditate on your long-term future,
Sagittarius. My guess is that your current labor of
love will reach full maturity in the next 18 to 20
months. This will be a time to bring all your
concentration and ingenuity to bear on making it as
good as it can be. By September of 2017, you will
have ripened it as much as it can be ripened.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In her poem “Tree,”
California poet Jane Hirshfield speaks of a young
redwood tree that’s positioned next to a house.
Watch out! It grows fast—as much as three feet per
year. “Already the first branch-tips brush at the
window,” Hirshfield writes. “Softly, calmly,
immensity taps at your life.” I suspect this will be an
apt metaphor for you in 2016. The expansion and
proliferation you have witnessed these past few
months are likely to intensify. That’s mostly good,
but may also require adjustments. How will you
respond as immensity taps at your life?
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Centuries ago,
lettuce was a bitter, prickly weed that no one ate.
But ancient Egyptians guessed its potential, and
used selective breeding to gradually convert it into a
tasty food. I see 2016 as a time when you could
have a comparable success. Look around at your life,
and identify weed-like things that could, through
your transformative magic, be turned into valuable
assets. The process may take longer than a year, but
you can set in motion an unstoppable momentum
that will ensure success.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Imagine that a beloved
elder has been writing down your life story in the
form of a fairy tale. Your adventures aren’t rendered
literally, as your waking mind might describe them,
but rather through dream-like scenes that have
symbolic resonance. With this as our template, I’ll
predict a key plot development of 2016: You will
grow increasingly curious about a “forbidden” door—
a door you have always believed should not be
opened. Your inquisitiveness will reach such an
intensity that you will consider locating the key for
that door. If it’s not available, you may even think
about breaking down the door.
HOMEWORK: WRITE A ONE-PAGE ESSAY ENTITLED
“2016 IS THE YEAR I FIGURE OUT WHAT I REALLY
WANT.” a
Go to realastrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s
expanded weekly audio horoscopes and daily text
message horoscopes. The audio horoscopes are also
available by phone at (877) 873-4888 or (900)
950-7700.
by CeCil adams
Can blood be used as an egg substitute?
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Is it true that due to their similar protein
composition, blood can be
used as an egg substitute in
baking and in ice cream?
—Kathy
Kudos, Kathy. As a result of your
question, “Blood Cookie” is no longer
just an extremely death-metal name for
an album of children’s music—it’s also
something we’ve actually whipped up
in the Straight Dope Test Kitchen.
As a general proposition, of course,
cooking with animal blood has been
popular across time and geography.
Swedes and Finns use it in pancakes.
Southeast Asian cuisines avail
themselves of all manner of the stuff—
pig, chicken, duck. Poles eat duckblood soup; in east Africa, the Maasai
people drink cow’s blood straight up.
The Brits and the Irish enjoy black
pudding; the Spanish and French make
blood sausages called morcilla and
boudin noir, respectively. Getting closer
to your question, pig’s blood is the
thickener of choice in the Italian
chocolate pudding sanguinaccio.
In the US you’ll find animal blood sold and
consumed mainly among immigrants of more recent
vintage—like at Korean and Thai groceries. It’s made
some headway, though, in high-end kitchens, probably
thanks to the snout-to-tail trend that’s rolled through
the culinary world in recent decades. Several years
ago a Washington, D.C. restaurant called the Pig
offered a frozen variation on sanguinaccio billed,
inevitably, as “Sundae Bloody Sundae”; one critic
sniffed that “the novelty was more exciting than the
actual dessert,” and it seems no longer to be on
the menu
But insofar as the chef at the Pig did make
something like chocolate ice cream using blood
instead of egg yolks, here we see progress right along
the lines you suggest. The Scandinavians are
apparently at the forefront of this pursuit; the best
source I found on the subject is Nordic Food Lab—an
adjunct of the Copenhagen restaurant Noma, a
mainstay on world’s-best lists—which exists as a sort
of open-source testing ground for all sorts of outré
culinary ideas. In 2014, NFL’s Elisabeth Paul
published the results of an investigation into the
possibility of blood as an egg replacer. Her arguments
in favor are strong: Egg intolerance is a major food
allergy among European children. Anemia, meanwhile,
is everywhere a prominent nutrient deficiency; know
what’s got a lot of iron in it?
And the chemistry’s right. In egg white, six protein
types interact to trap air when the white is agitated—
say, by whipping. This is the first step in making a
meringue, or in more technical terms a colloidal foam:
tiny gas bubbles suspended in a liquid. Key in baking,
though, is the protein ovalbumin, which coagulates
when heated and so prevents collapse. Ovalbumin
accounts for about 54 percent of egg-white proteins;
conveniently, related albumins make up about 55
percent of the proteins in blood plasma. In theory,
then, sure, this ought to work.
What about in practice? Paul reported salutary
results after using pig’s blood in place of eggs in
recipes for sponge cake, meringue and ice cream; she
also mixed it with vodka (after straining out a few
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unwanted clots) into a cocktail dubbed the “Red
Russian,” which was—per her terse but telling
description—“only sipped once.” A key finding here
was that pairing blood with something acidic, as in a
sourdough bread, will go some way toward masking
its, er, more assertive flavors.
Unwilling to leave all the glory to the Danes, I
called up my local butcher, who rendered unto me
twice the volume of cow’s blood I'd requested (no
pig’s was available), and gratis, which tells you
something about local sanguinary demand. By the
time I got to it the following day, much of it had
coagulated into a slimy block. (I hadn’t asked, but this
can be prevented by the butcher treating the blood
with an anticoagulant, such as vinegar.) I whipped
some of what was left with sugar; the process took
maybe ten minutes longer than egg whites typically
do, but eventually the mixture rose into a lofty and
visually striking pink foam. The blood meringues fell in
the oven, but that may just mean I should’ve whipped
the stuff at still greater length.
Next I tried the pastry qua non: the chocolate chip
cookie, substituting, at the recommendation of NFL,
65 grams of blood per egg; in this case I also made a
control batch. The results? The blood cookies came
out of the oven about an eighth-inch shorter than the
batch with a whole egg in it. This tracks with a 1994
Iowa State University dissertation in which
researchers compared egg whites and bovine blood
plasma in cake baking, finding that an egg-white cake
boasted “slightly larger volume, significantly more
crowned profile, and finer texture” than the plasma
version. But come on: The fact that my cow blood
produced a recognizable (and, I should add, edible)
dessert at all is what I would call passing with flying
colors—specifically, a greenish-gray hue seen in both
the meringues and the cookies, which, I’ll concede,
eaters might be justified in finding off-putting.
Perhaps this suggests opportunities for future
innovation.
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[email protected]
w
DOWNTOWN FOOT & BODY
MASSAGE 508 1/2 Central
SW, 505-730-9552. LMT
#5694
ALBUQUERQUE’S FINEST
ASIAN MASSAGE, LI’S!
Downtown/University/Sunport
123 Yale SE (corner of
Gold/Yale) Hours 10:00am -
10:00pm, Full Body $50/hr.
505-200-2949 LMT #7362
cleaniless*Kitchen equipment
maintenance*Special event
support*Staff meal
preparation
PROGRAM ENGINEER III:
Abbott Labs seeks qualified
Program Engineer III for its
facilities located in
Albuquerque, NM. Resp. for
representing functional area
on project teams developing &
architecting engg designs,
processes or software.
Master’s Degree or foreign
academic equivalent in Comp
Engg, Math, Science, or
closely related field (Will
accept Bachelor’s degree in
above fields w/ 5 yrs related
progressive exp in lieu of
Master’s), each alternative w/
at least 2 yrs exp in: (i);
leading the design & devel. of
cell analysis software to
provide diagnostic
measurement &/or data
analysis, (ii) designing
complex products, software
&/or processes in C#, .Net,
Windows Forms, C++, MFC,
COM & Visual Studio; & (iii)
performing assignments
following FDA & ISO
compliance guidelines &
procedures. An EOE. Respond
by mail: Abbott Laboratories,
100 Abbott Park Road, Bldg.
AP6a, Dept. 32RC, Abbott
Park, IL 60064. Refer to ad
code: ABT-00499-KE
CAREGIVERS 90 day $100
sign on bonus! Support adults
w/ disabilities. $10/hr.,
benefits, and pd training. FT
positions working wkends + 23 wkdays, or awake ovrnts. All
positions require working
wkends, a valid NMDL, reliable
vehicle, current ins., HS
diploma/GED, & must be 21.
Apply in person Tues.-Fri. 9a5p: Providence, 2225 4th St.
NW (505)898-9435
AWARD WINNING
RESTAURANT- Relish is
HIRING experienced cook(s).
Please come in for an
application at 8019 Menaul
Blvd NE ABQ, NM 87110.
Metaphysical
PSYCHIC Clairvoyance. Tarot
http://www.kasamba.com/psy
chic/psychic-erik
Employment
Employment
SECONDARY MATH &
SCIENCE TEACHER sought by
New America School in
Albuquerque, NM. Teach math
& science to secondary school
students who are English
language learners. Reqs incl.
MS in Physical Science field,
Math or MS in Life Science
field; & 2 yrs’ exp. as
secondary school teacher or
secondary school tutor; &
State of New Mexico School
Personnel Licensure Level
Three-A Instructional Leader 712 Secondary License with
Endorsement in Science,
Mathematics & Bilingual
Education reqd. English as a
Second Language (ESL)
teaching endorsement area
certification will be accepted
in lieu of Endorsement in
Bilingual Education on the
State of New Mexico School
[30]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
Personnel Licensure Level
Three-A Instructional Leader 712 Secondary License. BS
plus 5 yrs’ exp in same fields
accepted in lieu of MS plus 2
yrs’ exp. Background check
reqd. Resume to lmathis
LM0920MJ
Employment
HOT LINE CHEF WANTED IN
CORTEZ, CO Hot Line lunch
chef wanted at a popular
farm-to-table restaurant in
downtown Cortez, Co. Full
time, competitive salry.
Professional training preferred.
Start date is Jan. 28.
Responsibilites: *Hands-on
prep &cooking duties in a fast
paced kitchen*Create daily
lunch specials*Management
of a small crew*Food &
supply ordering*Kitchen
scheduling*Assist with cost
analysis & cost
controls*Quality
assurance*Kitchen
w
BY RYAN NORTH
“Let Free Entertain You”—you know the freestyle drill.
by Matt Jones
Across
1 DIY handicrafts site
5 “If things were to continue like
so ...”
15 “The Clothed Maja” painter
16 “Taken” guy
17 Beach bird
18 Tow-away zone destination
19 “10 Items ___” (checkout
sign that drives grammarphiles
nuts)
21 Ardent admirers
22 They may be collateral when
buying new wheels
28 Recede gradually
30 Long-hitting clubs
31 Word before Jon or Wayne
32 No pro show, yo
36 Vigoda who’s still alive
37 Big name in toothbrushes
38 Vaccine target
39 Chuck an attempted threepointer into the stands, e.g.
43 Former British Poet Laureate
Hughes
44 Multi-layered dessert
popularized in 2015
45 Abbr. after a proof
46 “Go ahead, don’t mind me”
49 11th-graders’ exam (abbr.)
50 Carter and Spelling, for two
53 Cheat
6 Comedian Minchin
35 Paul of “Anchorman”
7 Savion Glover’s specialty
40 Weight training partner
8 PPO alternative
9 ___ START (Tobias’s oftmisinterpreted license plate on
“Arrested Development”)
10 Highest Scrabble tile value
11 Animal in a Dr. Seuss title
41 Bargain-basement unit
42 “The Memory of Trees”
Grammy winner
46 1990 NBA Finals MVP ___
Thomas
12 “Chronicles of Narnia” lion
13 Adult Swim fare, for short
59 Lying over
14 “Lord of the Rings” tree
creatures
60 Gambles
20 Ancient Greek portico
47 Nutcase
48 Give a long-winded talk
49 Sgts.’ underlings
51 Edible seaweed used for
61 “Desperate Housewives”
actress Hatcher
23 Place to keep your Tetleys
and your Twinings
62 Summer dress uniform
component, maybe
24 “Mrs. Murphy Mysteries”
author ___ Brown
63 Cut down to size
25 Simile segment, maybe
26 Annoys by staying outside the
lines?
55 Treasured document?
Down
1 Brand in the frozen breakfast
section
27 NYSE symbol for the company
that keeps going ... and going ...
Levin
2 Go from gig to gig
28 “Support Your Local Sheriff!”
actor Jack
57 California red, briefly
3 They’re represented by fingers
in charades
4 Conn. school
5 Half of the ‘80s synth-pop
duo Yaz
sushi
52 Roasting device
54 “Was ___ das?”
56 “A Kiss Before Dying” author
58 Suffix with winning
29 Benjamin Netanyahu’s
nickname
©2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords
33 Full of memorable lines
([email protected])
34 “Gold”-en role for Peter Fonda
LAST WEEK CROSSWORD ANSWERS
"Middle C"—no need for piano lessons here
This week’s answers online at alibi.com.
JANUARY 7-13, 2016
WEEKLY ALIBI
[31]
[32]
WEEKLY ALIBI
JANUARY 7-13, 2016