A Criminal by the Picking (official)

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Chapter 1
The New Kid
There were no signs of surprise on the seven teenagers’ faces as they watched
their advisory leader, Ariadne Evans, pull out a small balloon full of purple oobleck and a
slingshot and proceed to launch the balloon into the wall of her classroom, the oobleck
splattering. Still completely nonchalant, she walked up to the wall, pulled out an
oversized black thumbtack, and stuck it in the relative middle of the splat.
“Whoever can hit the push pin gets a candy bar,” she announced, pulling out a
bag of marbles.
“What kind of candy is it?” Finn, one of Ariadne’s three advisees who floated
over from the Paris trip, asked.
Ariadne glanced at the box of king sized candy bars in her desk. “Butterfingers.”
Butterfingers were one of the candies that the school didn’t sell in one of their two
vending machines located at opposite ends of the school.
Right before any of the kids could volunteer themselves to shoot the pushpin, one
of the admissions directors walked in with a new student. The director, although he
would’ve normally been surprised at the scene in front of him, was used to
Ariadne’s…unorthodox teaching style.
“Ariadne, we have a new student joining your advisory. His name’s Dorian
Draper,” he said.
Ariadne literally dropped what she’d been doing and walked over to shake
Dorian’s hand. She couldn’t help but notice the sparkle in the boy’s eyes and his
professional handshake.
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“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said in a strong accent that Ariadne couldn’t
exactly place.
For a brief moment, she thought of the late Julien Lousteau and how his uncanny
ability to sense dialects would be very useful then. Alas, his life had been sacrificed
during the little Paris affair over the past summer and his nightclub burned down. Even if
he was the Murder’s original target, it was still a shame how things had ended, or in
Ariadne’s eyes anyway.
Ariadne nodded. “Mine as well. You can call me Miss Evans.”
The admissions director found then a fine time to leave. Once the door shut, the
rest of Ariadne’s advisory drank in the new kid. He was pretty tall and thin with kind of
tanned skin, light green eyes, and a pretty decent face. Of course, that’s where the
normality ended. His hair was a little over chin length with his bangs suspended above
his forehead like really bad bed hair. As well, there was the shine of an unmistakable
silver ring pierced into the cartilage of his left ear. Peeking from behind a t-shirt, a few
kids swore that they saw a tattoo.
Dorian was undisturbed by the stares. “My name’s Dorian Draper, and yes, I am
Australian, no, I do not live at P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. I’m actually from
Perth, in West Australia.”
A few of the kids cracked a smile and Ariadne offered him a seat at the sort of
arch they’d construct for every advisory but never use. Once she had Dorian sitting, she
glared at the other kids until they took their seats.
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“Alright, so we’re going to have to put our game on hold to go through an intro.
Everyone, we give our names and one thing that makes us a freaking beast. Finn, thank
you for volunteering.”
“But I—”
“—don’t care.”
Finn sighed. “My name’s Finn and I have punched a shark in the face.”
A few more kids went until it reached Rose Crowe. She and Dorian exchanged a
small wave and a smile.
“Dor already knows me,” she answered.
“She’s my foster sister.”
Rose’s smile grew into a tiny smirk. “Host sister. Your parents didn’t abandon
you.”
“Host sister. Terribly sorry.” He winked.
The introductions went around and Ariadne stayed silent for a few moments,
unable to decide on what to do next.
“We only have time for one shot, so Dorian, why don’t you try it out?” Ariadne
handed him a marble and the slingshot. “Normally in advisory we’re supposed to talk
about our weeks, but we only do that when someone actually has a problem. Otherwise,
we just screw around and go out to lunch.”
Dorian studied Ariadne and the splatter on the wall for a few seconds, as if
deciding if he was really in school or not. Finally, he shrugged it off and loaded the
slingshot, missing the pin by maybe an inch. He cursed under his breath, but showed a
smile and a shrug.
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Ariadne licked her lips. “I suppose that’s good enough.” She pulled out her box of
candy and Dorian took one graciously.
“What is this?” he said after a few seconds.
A few kids laughed, but were silenced when a marble was tossed/thrown at them.
“Excuse my not having been to Australia in sixteen years. Um, what’s your
equivalence of peanut butter flavored crisp between chocolate?”
“KitKat Chunky Peanut Butter.”
Ariadne snapped her fingers. “It’s like that.”
Once it was clear that her new advisee was content, she returned to her spot and
started addressing the group, seven minutes to spare.
“Okaaay, sooo, does anyone have a problem?” she asked.
The kids shook their heads except for one boy. “Do you have a problem, Miss
Evans?”
Advisory typically went down this way: the kids wouldn’t talk about their
problems, and Ariadne would.
“Well…” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Okay, Sven’s step-sister is turning
five today and I would call her but I don’t want to risk talking to her mother Rebecca
Black. So…should I call her or would an email suffice? Take in mind that southern
hospitality means nothing to me. For Dorian, I have five older brothers and my oldest is
married to a real excuse my French skank and yeah, her name is really Rebecca Black.”
“If she’s married to your brother, isn’t her name Rebecca Evans?” Dorian
commented.
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Ariadne resisted giving him a dirty look. “Sure, it would be if I regarded her as
family.”
“I’d say you should cleverly avoid her by calling during the hours that only your
brother would answer,” Finn suggested.
“I’m not fond of my brother either.”
“Then why do you like your niece? She’s like a combination of the two.”
Ariadne shrugged. “She’s innocent in the ploy.”
A few more minutes of fruitless advice cross the arc before Rose finally gave a
suggestion.
“Do you even call for the other nine nieces and nephews you have?”
Ariadne was caught by surprise. “Um…”
“No? Then why bother? If you called her, you’d be calling favoritism to Sven’s
dad’s kids, so I wouldn’t want to cause any issues there. Say nothing. It’s not like you’d
give her a birthday present anyway.”
For a few moments, everyone was silent. Ariadne threw herself out of the shock
of having Rose sound curt. “I’ll go with that.” She glanced at the clock. “Well advisory’s
over, so farewell everyone! I love y’all and want y’all to go kick some butt.”
The kids filed out, but Ariadne caught Dorian before he could. She couldn’t help
but smirk.
“You’re living with Logan Crowe, eh?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is there a problem with that?”
She laughed. “No, he’s one of my best friends. Just checking.”
He gave a weak smile. “Thanks for the candy. Do you teach any classes of mine?”
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“I teach freshman English and one junior English class, so no. What’s your next
class?”
He pulled out his schedule. “Maths.”
Ignoring how odd it sounded to hear someone say “maths,” she read the name and
smiled. “Your next class is geometry with my teacher-in-training. She’s still getting used
to everything, so be nice to her. As well, it’s a mixed freshman-sophomore class. Watch
yourself.”
He chuckled to himself. “Good luck with your freshmen as well.” He glanced at
the wall. “Are you gonna clean that up?”
“I’ll have my next class do it.”
He laughed to himself as he walked out, a freshman peeking his head into
Ariadne’s room. Ariadne beckoned him in, him soon followed by the rest of the class.
After pulling the headphones off a kid’s iPod after watching him use it for three minutes
after class started without him noticing, she was prevented from beginning her class yet
again.
“AUNT A! AUNT A! I FOUND YOUR SECURITY CODE!” Sven, Ariadne’s
live-in nephew, exclaimed, running into the room like a schoolgirl who just won the
lottery.
She walked up to Sven and snatched the card from his hand. “You lucky bastard.
Now great, get to class.”
“Hey, I can—?”
“Go to class, yes.”
He looked at the wall. “Why’s there oobleck on the wall?”
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“I said get out, Sven!”
Sven looked up and realized that his aunt was serious. He couldn’t help but
slightly cower and slip out, not really willing to see his aunt mad with her least favorite
block. Back to Ariadne, she finally got to begin her class.
“What’s the security code for?” a freshman, Drew, asked her. Ever since the first
day when he felt a need to inquire about the reality of one of the many strange incidents
that occurred over that summer’s Paris trip, he’d become a flea on her skin.
She glanced at the clock. Figuring that telling the kids stories was easier than
learning that none of the kids except for the smart kid were reading, she went off on her
tangent.
“Y’see, last year, Sven took the keys to my car and it just so happened that my car
keys were attached to my room key and the other teachers who had the spare keys were
gone and I couldn’t find anyone with keys, so I dragged Sven out of class only for him to
search through his locker and remember that my keys were inside my car. So, naturally,
we scour up a coat hanger, but that doesn’t work. Eventually, I get so desperate that I pull
out the big guns, especially after roadside assistance said that they weren’t available.
Yeah, I broke my car window with a hammer. No, I’m not talking about the nice car I
have now. It was a crappy Toyota that barely worked. So anyway, after that incident,
Sven-y here almost pulled another, and he knew I’d be pissed as hell, so lucky him he
found my security code for unlocking my car. Understand now, Drew?”
Drew, in all honesty, had blanked out on his original question, but nodded.
Ariadne wrote TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD on the board.
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“Alright, now, if we all remember, we finished Mockingbird yesterday and you’ll
have an essay assigned to you today with an introductory paragraph due Friday, no
exceptions. Now, are there any questions about the book?”
One boy raised his hand. “So does Maycomb, Alabama really exist?”
Ariadne huffed. “Yes Dale, of course Maycomb exists. Sven’s from there.”
“Really? Are you from there too?”
Ariadne threw the marker she was using onto the floor. “Dale! For Christ’s sake,
I’m from Birmingham and Sven is from Aliceville! Maycomb doesn’t exist! I was being
sarcastic.”
“Ohhh.”
“Does anyone else have a question?”
Another kid raised her hand. “Is Boo Radley a ghost?”
Ariadne could do nothing more than facepalm. “Why couldn’t I have been born
when teachers were allowed to paddle students?”
One last girl raised her hand. “Miss Evans, wait, did Tom Robinson really rape
Miss Ewell?”
Ariadne smiled. “Thank you, Maggie. Thank you for being the only beam of hope
in this class. Now that is a good question.”
*
*
*
Sven caught up with Rose and Dorian once school had ended. He couldn’t help
but put a protective arm around his girlfriend, even if Dorian didn’t seem like a threat.
“So we going anywhere after school today?” Sven asked.
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Rose smiled. “You’re so polite, Sven. Dorian, this is my boyfriend. Boyfriend,
this is my host brother Dorian.”
Dorian slapped Sven on the back. “Good to know my sister is with a guy as
awkward as you. Wouldn’t want her with any assholes.” He winked.
Rose blushed. “Hey Dor, don’t insult him before he’s said two words to you.”
Dorian smiled. “He’s actually said eight words to me.”
“Seven,” Rose corrected.
Dorian chuckled. “You do have a photographic memory. What do you ya know?”
“Everything,” Sven answered, making Dorian smile and raise an eyebrow. “So
Rose, why exactly did your dad agree to host an exchanged student?”
Rose shrugged. “Said we should try to get some distractions and he said that he
wanted the experience of having a son for a few months. Like I said, he didn’t get very
specific. Besides, it was my idea; he just went with it. Hey, you wanna come over for a
bit?”
“I should—” Right on schedule, he got a text from Ariadne. Cor and I r having a
nite out…shud I leav u money 4 food or ru coverd? Sven smiled. Thank you Jesus for
Aunt Ariadne and her obsessive dates with her boyfriend. “I’ll come if your dad doesn’t
mind having me for dinner.”
Rose smiled. “Sounds great! Besides, I want you two to bond.”
Dorian gave Sven a sly grin, causing Sven to slightly back away. Not long after,
Rose had driven Dorian and Sven home, where her dad was waiting with a book in hand.
“Dad! Is it okay if Sven has dinner with us?” Rose called.
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“Corydon and Aunt Ariadne are abandoning me again!” Sven added. “Please,
Daddy?”
Logan Crowe turned slowly, giving his old partner’s nephew a look. “It’s bad
enough that the Aussie calls me Daddy, now you too? I’m not an orphanage director.”
Sven smiled. “Oh look at you, Mr. C! What with your expensive attire and your
fancy library, you’re as much an orphanage director as any! All you need is a pipe.”
Crowe got up. “I think you’re thinking of an old fashioned private school
headmaster, son.”
“Nope, it’s an orphanage director. Trust me.”
Crowe smiled encouragingly. “Name one book or movie like that.”
Sven was shut up for a bit. “Don’t worry Mr. Crowe, I’ll think of one!”
Crowe sighed. “Yeah Sven, you can stay, but I’m not making anything special.
Hey Dorian, how was your first day?”
“Decent. Met some kids. Attended some classes.” He smiled. “Oh, I met your
BFF Miss Evans. She gave me a candy bar for shooting a marble at the wall.”
Crowe raised an eyebrow. “What class was that in?”
“Advisory. I guess it’s like when kids get free therapy.”
Crowe relaxed. “Oh, okay then. Yeah, Ariadne’s…something.”
Dorian turned to Sven. “So you’re…her nephew, right?” Sven nodded. “Any
other relations I should know about?”
Crowe shrugged. “She’s my business partner.” Crowe heard the distant ring of his
cell phone. “And speaking of business, I really should take that call.”
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Crowe ran into his office, where he picked up his close-to-falling-off-the-desk
phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Asshole.”
Crowe rolled his eyes. “For once, I don’t want to talk to you. Oh no, that’s right,
that happens every time you call.”
“Yeah, yeah, let’s get past the name calling and get down to business. How would
you like a new job? Y’know…doing the thing you do best?”
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Chapter 2
Everything’s All Right
Sven got picked up around seven, so the breakfast table was back down to Crowe,
Rose, and Dorian the next morning.
“Rose, I think your boyfriend is delightfully awkward,” Dorian commented as he
poured some cereal.
Crowe smiled. “Amen to that.”
Rose focused on her cereal bowel in an attempt to hide her blush. “Sven’s not that
awkward.”
Crowe and Dorian gave her a look. “Hun, you realize that we’re talking about the
kid who, when faced with accidentally tripping on a Frenchman, can’t say ‘I’m sorry’ in
French and then doesn’t realize that he’s been speaking English for five minutes before
saying no espeak English. Oh, and not to mention the whole theatre thing.”
Dorian laughed. “Damn, I wish I could’ve been there over the summer. Speaking
of summer, do you guys have any idea how weird it is for it to be cold in November?”
Crowe raised an eyebrow. “Don’t we both have Mediterranean? The weather has
a twenty degree range.”
He shrugged. “Still not used to all the clouds. Speaking of America, are we gonna
celebrate Thanksgiving?”
Rose and Crowe exchanged a glance. “Yeah. Yeah, we’ll do that. When’s break?”
“Week after next,” Rose answered automatically.
Crowe cleared his throat. “Maybe we’ll see some family. I’m not sure.”
Dorian perked up. “Your family or your wife’s?”
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Just that sentence alone was like two punches to the gut. “My family’s been dead
for a while and I’m just not sure if I’m ready to face my wife’s family yet.”
The Crowes soon learned that Dorian Draper wasn’t exactly the most observant.
“Why?”
Crowe swallowed. “My wife’s been dead for three months.”
Dorian’s eyes widened. “My condolences, sir. Please excuse me for…er, prying.”
Crowe shook his head. “It’s no problem. You didn’t know.”
Everything was suddenly awkward. Luckily, Demetri, Rose’s pet fox, jumping
onto the fourth chair and onto the table lightened the mood.
“Dem! Get off the table, you son of a bitch!” Crowe said.
“Hey! It’s not his fault his mom’s a bitch,” Rose retorted.
“Isn’t he a fox?” Dorian asked.
Crowe and Rose turned to him. “Wait, foxes aren’t dogs, are they?” Rose said.
Dorian shrugged. “Ask me about a whale. I know if whales are dogs or not.”
Crowe snorted. “I’m fairly certain that whales aren’t dogs.”
Dorian gave him a look. “Don’t think that you being pretty gives you an excuse
for insulting my intelligence, mate.” The Crowes stared at him, a stare that Dorian either
ignored or didn’t pick up on. “I’ve heard the DILF comments. Don’t think I’m ignorant.”
Crowe’s brow crinkled. “Who said I was a DILF?”
He shrugged. “There were an awful lot of quick glances in the parking lot when
you dropped me off plus most of Rose’s friends are jealous of me.”
Crowe propped his elbow on the table and let his hand support his face as he
stared emptily at Dorian. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
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“You don’t want women running after you?”
“Not really.”
Dorian’s eyes widened. “You’re gay, aren’t you?”
Crowe gave him an incredulous look. “No I’m not gay. I just have no desire to get
together with any woman other than my wife. It’s been that way for as long as I can
remember. I’m faithfully monogamous.”
Dorian shook his head. “What a waste of good genes.”
Crowe gave a wry smile. “I have Rose, now don’t I?”
“Evolution—”
“ ‘Is defined by evolutionary fitness which involves a creature using his assets to
have as many children as physically possible.’ My little brother loved science.”
“Okay fine, but send some of the girls my way, will ya?”
Crowe didn’t like admitting it, but he did find the quick wit of Dorian as a
comfort after all the years with Ariadne. Plus, he was pretty sharp and, although he had a
lot of foot-in-mouth moments, was respectful. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe that he
agreed to hosting an exchanged student. After losing Bianca, the idea of letting another
soul into the house just seemed unreal. Yet, early November came and Rose brought
home a packet with details about Dorian’s schooling and personality. From that, he had
smudged a bit on his academic enthusiasm, but the bright personality wasn’t off. Plus,
honestly, Crowe was excited at the idea of having a son to do more masculine things
with. Sure, Rose was willing to go urban exploring and go out on the family boat, but that
was about it. She had her license, but had yet to show interest in cars aside from the car
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she helped buy for herself. So, after hearing that Dorian loved marine biology and had
him compliment his cars, Crowe had a very good feeling about him.
For that reason alone, he smiled and continued on without feeling as insulted as
he normally would’ve.
*
*
*
“My pancakes are in the shape of dinosaurs, right?!” Sven called to Ariadne as he
ran down the stairs.
She took a break from her own breakfast to check on Sven’s. “Yeah, Sven. Do
you need to inspect them?”
Sven crept up from behind and put his arms around his aunt as he looked at the
half cooked pancakes.
“They look goo—DON’T LET YOUR YOGURT FALL INTO MY
PANCAKES!”
Ariadne had been trying to take a spoon on yogurt into her mouth and was now
more than tempted to spit to back onto the spoon and pour it onto Sven’s pancakes, but
stopped herself. “I won’t, Sven.” She slid away from the griddle and finished the last few
bites of her food before being able to fully focus on Sven. “Put my bowl in the sink and
go grab English 11’s essays and put them in my bag and your pancakes will be ready.”
Sven raced off to do as told, soon returning with her bag—upside down, yet
defying gravity—and a paper clutched in the same hand.
“I need you to sign my test.”
Ariadne plopped his pancakes onto a paper plate. “What didja get?”
Sven bit his lip. “Take into effect that I suck at Spanish.”
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She looked at the test. “This is an English paper.”
“I know, but my Spanish is coming in soon so please use this as a buffer.
Pleeeease, it’s a really good grade!”
She glanced down and found an A written in red marker. “What did you get on
your Spanish test?”
“Oh, y’know, that letter that’s the third letter in…Gavroche.”
“V? You got a V?”
“Err…rhymes with V.”
“D?”
“Why are you being so pessimistic?”
She threw the paper onto the table. “You just told me that it sucked! And there’s
no D in Gavroche either way so were you planning on picking the wrong number of
letters or do I need to tutor you in English again?”
“It’s before eight in the morning and you’re making my triceratops frown. Can’t
you please just sign the paper?”
Ariadne, having gotten used to Sven’s delusions when he woke up too early and
had to study for trimester finals, sighed and signed his paper with Ariadne Evans, Thanks
Pat for cushioning his grade. I’m still open whenever. *wink wink*
Sven took back the paper and frowned. “Why did you sign your I with a little
heart?” He paused. “You’re so disgustingly mushy about you and Corydon, you know
that? Speaking of him though, he’s getting me food, right?”
Ariadne simply smiled and walked upstairs to finish getting ready. By the time the
two had arrived at school, Ariadne was already not in the mood to deal with any more
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kids Sven’s age. To her relief, Crowe pulled up a few minutes after she’d parked, giving
her a distraction. So, once Dorian and Rose had jumped out, Ariadne jumped in. At first,
Crowe jumped, but the feeling quickly disintegrated.
“May I help you, Arr?”
“Yeah, I don’t want to talk to everyone inside, so can I stay here until 8:20?”
Crowe sighed and parked. “Soo, how’s the new freshmen?”
Ariadne huffed. “Don’t even get me started on them. I swear to God, whoever
made a law against teachers drinking on the job obviously never met a real life freshman
boy. They are not the easiest group to swallow, let me say that.”
He nodded. “I’m terribly sorry.”
Her eyes lit up. “Hey, y’know, I just thought of something fun we could do this
weekend. I was going to have Melissa over anyway, but would you like to come?”
“Come where? Your house?”
“Or yours. Whichever you prefer.”
“Um, okay. What would we be doing?”
“We typically order California Pizza Kitchen and drink wine and gossip.
Melissa’s hysterical when she gets going. Trust me, it’s free entertainment at its finest.”
He smirked. “And I thought that I got that with you.”
“No, trust me, Mel’s a riot.”
“Sounds good. Eh, sure, I guess I’ll come. You gonna invite Corydon?”
She bit her lip. “Nah, it’s more of friends thing. You’re lucky that I’m letting you
come, mister.”
He chuckled. “Well I’m flattered. Hey, weirdest thing happened last night.”
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Ariadne went from staring at the inside of Crowe’s Maybach to completely
focused. “What?”
“I got a call from Luke—”
“Did he ask for me?”
“Um, no. But anyway, he offered me a job. Like, a Murder job. Yeah, you
remember Hayden Barro? Apparently, that gorilla statue with the giant ass ruby necklace
on it was stolen by some up-and-coming criminal gang and Luke’s convinced this chick
that he can get it back for her. Says she’ll pay me whatever I want, but I declined.”
Ariadne patted him on the back. “Glad you declined. You don’t need any of that
anymore, anyway. You should keep focused on Rose and…the Aussie I guess.”
He put her in his gaze, his light brown eyes blazing. “So you think I did well?”
She nodded. “Keep strong, Loge. I promise you, you’re not as bad as I was when I
was mourning Mattie.”
“You became a whore alcoholic. I don’t think I could do worse unless I kill
myself.”
“Up, I did do that. You have to succeed at committing suicide to top…bottom
me.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Please don’t.”
He cracked a tiny smile. “I won’t.”
After a glance at the car clock, Ariadne ran out of the car and back into the
school, barely making it in time for morning meeting to start.
*
*
*
“Okay, so for this year, you shall learn to love E block,” Ariadne explained to the
newest teacher, Miss Elizabeth Wallis, as they strolled through the near empty halls.
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“Why? Cause it’s free?” she laughed.
“That and because near no freshmen or sophomores get frees off, so we’re free of
them for a little bit. Hence the reason it’s called a free.”
She smiled. “What other words of wisdom do you have for me, Ariadne?”
Ariadne put her arm around Elizabeth’s shoulder. “There are certain things that
they just don’t teach you in school. How long have you been out of college?”
“A few months.”
“So you can double check me on this. Number one, what to do when a child
insists on plugging in his headphones and singing in the middle of class thinking that you
don’t know what you’re doing. Now, there are two options for this one, depending on if
you have a long block or short block.”
“Okay, what about long?”
“If it’s long, you lean against your whiteboard like so.” Ariadne took the nearest
wall and leaned into it, her arms crossed and a You’re not serious, are you? look on her
face. Elizabeth laughed. “And then, when the moment comes, you embarrass them in
some way. Well, this is an extra step. If you aren’t in that kind of mood, it’s always
acceptable to simply walk up to them, brutally unplug their headphones, and walk away
with their music player of choice.”
“What about short blocks then?”
“Proceed immediately to step three.”
She smiled, nodding. “Alright. What else you got?”
“Tell me honestly. How fast can you get in and out of the bathroom?”
“Um, I haven’t exactly timed myself.”
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“Get it down to two minutes flat.”
She gave Ariadne a look. “Why?”
“Because that’s all the time you have between breaks unless you want to leave
your class unattended and trust me, that’s the worst thing that can ever happen.
Lowerclassmen are idiots. Not animals, just idiots. You’d be amazed at the crap they can
pull in five minutes. Just let me tell you, it ain’t pretty. Plus, if that doesn’t happen, they
try to reprimand you for being late in this whiny elementary school kid voice and then
you may accidentally call them a douche.” Elizabeth smirked. “Not from personal
experience or anything.” Ariadne pulled her in. “Now, how in are you on the party scene
here?”
“With the kids?”
“No, not the—the teachers!”
She looked surprised. “Oh, that. I…um, are you still in that?”
Ariadne shrugged. “I shall be partying until I’m married. So anyway, you in?”
“I guess I might come to an event or two.”
“Always come in the next morning. I don’t care if you’re hung over, causing if
you’re not puking, you better come in. Just trust me, they don’t give you enough sick
days to be able to be hung over. I know, love. I know.”
“So…what do you do if you’re hung over?”
She held up two fingers. “Your personal anti-hangover elixir.” She dropped a
finger. “A movie for the kids.”
“But…I teach math class.”
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Ariadne stopped dead in mid-roll. “Then have them watch Multiplication Rock or
something! Always have a movie handy.”
Elizabeth looked down. “You’re so lucky that you teach English. You’re like the
most movie class before you get to film class.”
Ariadne smiled proudly. “That’s us English teachers. Then again, we have to
grade essays, so it works out.”
“So your hangover method really works?”
She nodded. “Let me tell you, all I need is a Bloody Mary and an hour of
watching Ramin Karimloo sing, and I’m good.” Elizabeth smiled, but the look on her
face didn’t sell it. “Ramin Karimloo is a West End actor.” Elizabeth nodded. “You still
have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” Ariadne sighed and pulled Elizabeth
toward their office. “It’s time I educate you.”
*
*
*
That lunch period, Ariadne expected Sven when a figure came up behind her.
“Miss Evans, I was wondering if you could help me.”
She recognized Dorian’s accent immediately and decided she’d be nice. She
turned around and gave a smile. “Whaddaya need?”
He held out a paper. “I need some help with English.”
She gave him a confused look. “Why not ask your teacher?”
“School said we could technically ask anyone in said department if the teacher
we’d prefer is busy. Mr. Sumac is busy.”
Ariadne sighed; it wasn’t like she’d have time to eat lunch anyway. “You got a
pen or something?” Dorian nodded. “Alright, let’s go.”
22
They ended up choosing a table were there weren’t any kids working on the
computers around them. Dorian let Ariadne read over the assignment while he thought of
what his specific question was.
“So the assignment is to take a song, preferably the one stuck in your head, and
turn it into a short story of one thousand words roughly. Like, how exactly would one do
that?” he asked. “Oh, and he said we can’t cheat and use a musical song.”
Ariadne thought about the assignment. It was actually pretty interesting and she’d
heard from a few of the writer kids in the school that they got story ideas from songs.
From there, she thought about what song she herself had stuck in her head. This has been
said so many times and I’m not sure if it matters…She’d had that song stuck in her head
since the last block since one of the kids had started playing Fall Out Boy’s ‘Dance,
Dance’ at the end of class.
“Take ‘Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying’ by Fall Out Boy. You heard it?”
“Not sure. Can you give me a few bars?”
“This has been said so many times and I’m not sure if it matters.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard that song somewhere.”
“So what he wants you to do is take the lyrics as literally as you can and write a
story around it. Me, even though it’s not about it, I’d take this as a story to write about a
girl who kept her whole life in her control until someone started learning about her
secrets in an attempt to get her to relax about her life and you could end it with her not
able to handle not controlling her life and leaving the suicide note at the end of the song.
So something like that. What song do you have stuck in your head right now?”
23
He shook his head. “Damn Miss Evans, Bella Ianov was playing ‘Friday’ by
Rebecca Black.”
Ariadne cracked a smile. “I have a song for you, but it’s really edgy.”
He leaned in. “Tell me.”
“Go look up ‘A Little Piece of Heaven’ by Avenged Sevenfold. Sven’s got me
hooked on these guys and that song has a clear story in it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “How is it edgy?”
Ariadne couldn’t help but smirk. “How much do you know about necrophilia?”
“Nothing.”
“Good. Look up that song.” He collected his papers and moved to get up, but
Ariadne kept him down. “So from an advisor’s prospective, how has your second day
been?”
“Good. I guess I’m getting to know the kids better. Rose and Sven introduced me
to a few kids they sit with at lunch. They think I have a cool accent.”
“Good. And how’s Mr. Crowe treating you?”
He shook his head. “To be honest, I’m still shocked that I’m in such a nice house.
I mean, what, four stories? A kickass pool? A car that most people buy a driver logging
miles next to some other kid of lux car, his daughter with another lux car, he claims to
own a speedboat, has houses in some rich ski town in Colorado and apartments in
Paris…like, I never grew up with any of that. I can’t help feeling a bit unworthy, and
they’re both so chill about it that you’d think they didn’t even know how much money
they have. It’s insane.”
24
“Yeah, Crowe only flashes his big bucks to his adult friends. But don’t worry,
you’ll get used to it. So, what’re you into? What do you do for fun?”
He shrugged. “I’m really into marine biology. Like, y’know, love going to
aquariums, owning fish, going into the ocean, stuff like that. Also, I love skateboarding
and sports in general. I’d like to learn about this baseball that you Americans love so
much.”
“What do you wanna be when you’re older?”
“A cartoonist. I want to create a not politically correct cartoon like the old
Nickelodeon shows from the ‘90s.”
She nodded. “Very interesting.” She smiled. “You want to go to the aquarium
with me one day? I’ve made a habit of being a regular shark petter at the Aquarium of the
Pacific.”
He raised his eyebrows. “What kind of sharks do you get to pet?”
“Mostly baby nurse and tiger sharks, but they have big ones.” She smiled slyly.
“I’ve just yet to get near them.”
Ariadne’s smile spread onto Dorian’s face. “I like the way you think, Miss
Evans.”
“If you can impress me enough kid, you can start calling me Ariadne.”
Dorian suddenly looked like he was concentrating. “Where would I have heard
that name before?”
Ariadne considered saying Greek myths, but knew better. “The girl in Inception.”
He snapped his fingers. “That’s it! But there’s something else…”
“Also the name of a Cretan princess. Your name’s Greek too, right?”
25
He shrugged. “It might be. I was never told.”
She nodded. “Yeah, that’s definitely Greek. Sorry, I’m one of those people who’s
really into my family heritage.”
He gave her a look. “Evans is not Greek and you’re not married, right?”
She wasn’t sure why, but she felt almost embarrassed about the married comment.
“No. No, the Americans changed my last name when my ancestors immigrated. It has
some akis suffix at the end, but I can’t remember the whole name.”
“If you don’t know the name, how do you know the suffix?”
“I know my family came from Crete cause otherwise I doubt they would’ve
named me after the only Cretan goddess in myths.”
“You said she was a princess.”
She was honestly surprised that he was paying attention. Normally, she could only
have these types of conversations with Rose, who somehow managed to keep up with
every word that she said. “She was both, but myths are relative to who’s telling them.
You guys study myths more in depth this year, don’t you?”
Dorian gave an innocent smile. “We could start studying maths in English class
and I don’t think I’d notice.”
She laughed. “You’re going to do so well here.”
26
Chapter 3
Old Friends, Relatively New Grievances
Although Ariadne would’ve loved to have had Sven go over to Crowe’s house
that Friday night, he insisted that it be the opposite, so Rose and Dorian ended up
following Crowe to the little get-together. By the time everyone was settled in, Melissa
made her appearance, surprised to see the amount of people show up.
“Jesus, now I feel bad for not bringing anything to drink,” she admitted.
Melissa was exactly Ariadne’s age of thirty-three, but tended to act just a bit
younger. Overall, she wore clothes that some women her age would’ve declined, her
blond hair was still lush and long, and the makeup she wore was that still on someone in
her twenties. Despite the obvious effort put into it, she didn’t exactly look bad…just not
as good as she could look if she tried to look her age.
She and Ariadne kissed each other on the cheeks.
“Everyone, this is my second grade teacher friend, Melissa. Mel, you remember
Sven.” She gave Sven a smile and he gave the sup nod in return. “And this is my really
good friend Logan.” Logan gave a quick wave. “His daughter Rose, and his Aussie host
son Dorian.” Rose and Dorian gave similar nods to Sven. Melissa took a seat next to
Crowe, but kept at a safe distance; it was obvious to her that he didn’t socialize often.
“Hey Mel, you want your usual, right?” She nodded and Ariadne left to put in their food
order while Crowe broke out alcohol he’d brought.
“You like Prosecco?” he asked Melissa.
She nodded. “Fancy, aren’t ya? We usually just drink mid-level wine.”
27
He shrugged. “My wife used to bring home at least three bottles of this stuff
whenever we went to Italy. We’re overloaded in it. Sometimes I wish Rose would throw
a house party just so I could get rid of some of it.”
Melissa laughed. “I think most parents would disagree with you. So where do you
guys live?”
“Hills Section.”
She nodded. “No wonder I’ve never met you guys. I teach at the elementary
school that reps East Manhattan. Or did Rose go through all private?”
Crowe shook his head. “She was public until high school. Dunno, something
about the public school didn’t feel right.”
Ariadne returned to her spot between Crowe and Melissa. “Plus the fact that
Ariadne worked there?”
Ariadne and Crowe exchanged a look. “Actually I didn’t know she worked there
until Back to School Night.”
Sven nudged Rose and motioned toward upstairs. She and Dorian nodded and
followed Sven up to his room. It was pretty small, with a storage system that covered
nearly a whole wall, a simple desk, a low nightstand and twin bed underneath it.
Otherwise, there was a low modular three-piece couch and some posters hung up. The
walls were white and the furniture was a combination of orange-red, dark blue, and off
white.
Dorian immediately fell onto Sven’s bed, the pillows flying onto the floor. “So
am I here to watch you guys make out?”
Sven smirked. “Not unless you want to.”
28
Dorian looked between the two. “Personally, I say the dirt’s getting dirtier now
that we left. Someone should go down there every few minutes to check up on them.”
Sven rolled his eyes. “Let’s just wait til after dinner gets here. Rose and I are a bit
sick of hearing those two talk.”
Dorian looked to Rose, who nodded in agreement, rolling her eyes for emphasis.
“Aww, strained parent-child relationships, much?” he joked.
“So did you get the gist of the sophomore class yet?” Sven asked, diverting the
subject away from ultimately talking about the Paris summer. Doran shook his head.
“Well, we don’t exactly have cliques, but there are a few lines. You always see this kids
in the dead end hallways with their laptops? The ones where the girls are always sitting
on the guys’ laps?”
“Yeah.”
“In general terms, they are our resident sluts and tools. Well, for the most part.
You know Bella from our history class?” He nodded. “Rose’s friends with her, although I
still can’t figure out why.”
“She’s funny. Plus, she knows the stresses of having those worldly parents who
won’t take you anywhere.”
Sven rolled his eyes at Dorian. “She’s dating Dylan Ackles, who’s…yeah, a
major tool. What’s weird is his friend Finn—”
“The one in our advisory,” Rose clarified.
“Well Finn’s pretty cool. The rest of them, eh, they’re all into the teen party scene
and a lot of them having been talking of raving or bringing pot into school since freshman
year. Of course, none of them have the balls for it, but whatever. Same thing with
29
cheating; typically guys are just assholes, they don’t cheat because of the small student
population. Also, those guys who date the freshmen girls with their boobs hanging out of
their shirts? Avoid them too.”
“So…that marks about twenty kids in the fifty something kid class. What about
the other thirty?”
Rose took over. “We generally belong to that group. Well, most of the kids in that
group genuinely wanted to come to our school and are just a bit quirky. Y’know, like
how Sven’s a pilot/politico/theatre geek—”
“Professional musical theatre actor,” Sven corrected.
Rose lightly punched him. “And how I’m kind of that quiet nerd kid who goes out
on weekends to basically trespass. Just kids like that with a million interests and enjoy
strange inside jokes and you’ll notice that all of us usually have the ability to quote Monty
Python and the Holy Grail.”
Dorian raised his brow. “Soo, you trespass? I’m sorry Sven, I’ll ask about your
theatre in a second, but this is intriguing. What do you mean?”
“Urban exploring. Like my dad and I pick a spot like an abandoned sewer or
theme park and we just look around in it. Technically illegal, but it’s a bit of the life on
the edge.”
He nodded. “Seems like you guys and Miss Evans share that.” He turned to Sven.
“Now what about you, mate? You in with the nutcases?”
Sven nodded proudly. “All the way.”
30
By the time Rose and Sven began to suspect that Dorian was suspecting, Ariadne
called them downstairs and asked Sven to pick up dinner, the adults in a conversation
about Corydon.
In order to distract Dorian, the two tried to move the conversation onto him.
“So Dor, I’ve been hearing rumors that you have a tattoo. Cierro or falso?”
“I take Chinese and I know that’s wrong,” Dorian commented from the backseat.
Rose leaned into his ear. “Cierto o falso. Cierro means shut.”
Sven frowned. “So anyway, do you have a tat?”
Sven could hear the rustling of Dorian pulling his t-shirt off. Judging by that, the
guy did indeed have a tattoo. Sven bit his lip and hyper focused on the road knowing that
a fender-bender would mean Ariadne killing him, despite the fact that he wasn’t driving
in her precious Jaguar. Once they’d parked and called curbside service, Sven finally
looked back.
Sure enough, he had a large black tribal tattoo that covered three-fourths of his
left arm.
“That’s…cool. What is it?” Sven asked.
“Tribal tattoo for my native heritage. Nothing special.” He smirked. “How about
you guys? You have tattoos?”
Sven looked in the glove compartment, supposedly in search of Ariadne’s credit
card. “Acting prohibits tattoos because it’s harder for costume designers because they
have to cover them up.”
“How ‘bout you, sis?”
31
Rose shrugged. “No interest in having anything permanent on my body. Besides,
everyone always says it’s trampy when girls get tattoos.”
“Of course I get stuck with the boring girl.”
Before Rose could make a comeback, a worker came with their food and they
were headed back home. Unfortunately for Sven’s sanity, Dorian forgot to put his shirt
back on, showing off his tattoo. To Dorian’s surprise, not a single adult in the room was
shocked or disgusted in any way.
“Of course the Aussie has a tribal tattoo,” Crowe joked.
Dorian winked. “Oh come on, Mr. Crowe! You know that I know that you know
that you have a tattoo too.”
Ariadne and Melissa, already a bit tipsy from the past hour, stared at Dorian
blankly. To Rose’s surprise, Crowe nodded in agreement and pulled his shirt off,
revealing some writing on the right side of his ribcage about midway down. He got a few
wolf whistles, but focused on his daughter.
“You knew I have this, don’t you?” he asked.
“Well yeah, but I never thought you’d rip off your shirt to show it off.”
“It’s not like the lovely ladies will remember it in the morning.” He winked and
pushed Ariadne. “Show us your tramp stamp, Miss Southern Belle.”
“I don’t have a tramp stamp!”
Melissa made a tsk-tsk sound. “No use lying, Ari.”
“I don’t have a tramp stamp!”
“Uh-huh, sure thing honey,” Melissa said as she tried pulling up the back of
Ariadne’s shirt, only to be pushed away before she could.
32
“Why would I even have one?” Ariadne continued.
“Because you’ve been telling us that you had one since 2002,” Melissa replied,
winking at Crowe.
Without warning, Crowe gently pinned Ariadne onto her stomach where Melissa
checked.
“Nope, no tramp stamp…but ooh, she’s not tel-ling us everything.”
Crowe looked as surprised as Ariadne. “What does she have?”
“It’s along her left shoulder blade in really tiny writing… Now I know it’s true.
My every road leads to you. Then it says…Birmingham, AL with a little cross on the
end.” Melissa looked to Ariadne incredulously. “Of course you’d get a sentimental tattoo
while drunk. Are those song lyrics or something?”
“Bryan Adams.”
Melissa patted Ariadne’s head. “Your tattoo is so emo.”
Ariadne glared in defense of the tattoo she couldn’t remember getting. “Emo, you
say? Oh right, that’s it! I was emo when I got it, it’s what we call an seven-year
depression!”
Ever so slightly, Melissa scooted away. “Sorry Arr, I must’ve forgotten. Don’t
worry, my tattoo is worse.”
She slid up her pant leg to show the words Aaron Carter above I want candy
tattooed onto her ankle. Ariadne looked at it and had to resist breaking out laughing.
“You know how embarrassing that is, right?” Melissa said, trying to hold back her
own laughter.
“You can always go talk to the girls who got Justin Bieber tattooed on them.”
33
Melissa sat back. “Y’know, society lied to me. They said that Aaron Carter would
be the next Michael Jackson and they lied. Now I have the name of a one-hit wonder
permanently on my body. Fuck college.”
Crowe smiled slyly, a few wires connecting. “So…how exactly did you two
meet?”
Melissa smiled. “College. We were really close, especially in grad school.”
Ariadne’s eyes widened in horror. Crowe caught it and kept going. “I seem to
remember her mentioning you somewhere. Something about graduation…”
Ariadne finally pushed in. “We don’t need to go down that road, Logan. Thanks
but no.”
Melissa gave her friend a look. “Aww, don’t be so uptight. It was just—”
“It was not just one little kiss!”
Sven and Rose gave Ariadne a look of shock while Dorian watched in growing
amusement. Melissa gave Ariadne a look.
“Arr, I was gonna say it was just college, but please don’t bring back the grudge
with that one. It really was just a kiss…”
“Just a kiss? Just a kiss?! It was not just a kiss! It was far, far from that! LUG,
Mel! L-U-G!”
“What’s a LUG?” Sven asked.
Finally, Dorian burst out laughing.
“So we extended it a bit. It was a joke…”
“A joke? You don’t stick your tongue down my throat in front of my fucking
conservative Catholic family! Do you have any idea how long my parents thought I was a
34
lesbian? How much gay porn Hector sent—and still sends, I may add—to my email? It’s
lesbian until graduation! What was that, huh? Lesbian Even After Graduation or some
bullshit like that? That scarred me for life, Mel! Life. Don’t you get that?!”
The drinks were finally starting to show through, Ariadne near hysterics and
Melissa too hazy to do anything about it.
“What the hell is going on?!” Sven demanded, the most affected by the past
verbal exchange.
“Oh, your aunt was a lesbian for five years. She must’ve forgotten to tell you,”
Crowe said completely nonchalant, taking a sip of his barely touched Prosecco.
Sven looked between his aunt and his second grade teacher, connecting the dots
while simultaneously trying not to connect the dots.
“This is great,” Dorian whispered to Rose.
Melissa poured more champagne for her and Ariadne, both downing it with
gratitude.
“And excuse me Miss Innocent Southern Belle, but a little birdie told me about
your little adventures in Paris,” Melissa began.
“What birdie?”
“Facebook.”
Ariadne took her glare to Sven. “What’s on Facebook?”
Sven still looked alarmed. “There’s a picture of you passed out with Barnett after
that night in Rome, but otherwise I have no idea what she’s talking about.”
Melissa didn’t wait for Ariadne to question the Rome picture. “Yeah, someone
told me that you cheated on me.”
35
“How can I cheat on you if we’re not together? Are you talking about Corydon?”
Melissa threw up her hands. “No, not Corydon. That French whore!”
Ariadne looked to the only person who she thought knew about that. “Crowe,
what the hell?”
“I didn’t tell anyone! Trust me, you probably told her when you were drunk
together some other time.”
“What. Is. Happening?” Sven asked again, the facts coming at him way too fast.
“Go to your room, sweetie,” Ariadne suggested. “Yeah Mel, who told you about
that?”
“Do-Does it matter? Are you confirming this?”
Sven moved to go upstairs, but Dorian kept him down. “Why does it matter?
We’re not together! I’m straight. You’re straight. College is over. Our LUGship is over.
You will always be my last girl kiss, I promise.”
“Oh I know.”
With that, both completely drunk, Melissa grabbed Ariadne by the hair and
pushed her into an awkward yet determined kiss, all the joking of the one they’d shared at
graduation completely gone. Dorian and Crowe started laughing at the same time, both of
them nearly falling out of their seats.
“My God, I love America!” Dorian said between guffaws.
Crowe couldn’t stop laughing, Ariadne’s whimpers of “rape” and “Logan” only
making it funnier in some awful way.
When Melissa let Ariadne go, she slumped back into the couch, not unconscious
but wishing she was.
36
“Melissa, I was not drunk enough for that! Why did you even do that?”
Melissa poured herself more champagne. “I will always be your numero uno.
Remember that.”
Ariadne looked up to the kids. “You okay, Sven-y?”
He looked to his aunt with the look of a child who just watched his favorite
cartoon character get killed on The Simpsons. “My entire childhood just got screwed up
in two hours.”
“Aww, not your entire childhood—”
“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like we told you that Mr. Darcy and Mr. Harrison travel to
Vegas together and hook up in order to deal with their failing marriages,” Melissa added.
The men mentioned were Sven’s fourth and fifth grade teachers. “What?”
Ariadne gave Melissa the look of death. Once it obvious that she was too wasted
for the look to mean anything, her expression softened and she beckoned her nephew
forward. She took his hands in hers. “Honey, I want you to take my car for a little spin,
okay? Go to 7-Eleven and buy some Hostess Cupcakes or something, and let all this melt
from your little memory. I promise, none of this aside from my tattoo will be true in the
morning. Okay?” She kissed him on the cheek. “I love you. Okay?”
“Okay?”
She handed him her car keys. “Okay. Be safe.”
Sven wrapped his fingers around the car keys and slowly walked toward the
garage, leaving Rose and Dorian unsure and awkward.
“Um…should we go with him?” Rose asked.
Ariadne nodded and handed her a twenty. “You two buy something too.”
37
Once the teens were gone, Ariadne and Crowe exchanged a look.
“I have no idea how to erase that from his memory,” Ariadne admitted, glancing
down to find that Melissa had passed out.
“Now I admit, this was completely insane, but she can tell some really funny crap
about mental second graders and their even more mental parents.”
Ariadne nodded. “I know. She keeps me sane.”
Crowe went back to staring at Ariadne. “Why do you have Bryan Adams lyrics
tattooed on your back?”
Her eyes suddenly lit up. “Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron! That’s it!”
“What?”
“You need a bigger heart than yours to understand.” Crowe rolled his eyes and
pulled his shirt back on. “What does your tattoo say?”
“My parents’ names and death dates, Mattie’s name, birthday, and death date,
Rose and her birthday, and Bianca and our anniversary and her death date.”
“Depressing tattoo, man. And let me guess, you picked ribcage to represent the
pain you’d go through for your family?” He nodded. “A sentimental man, Mr. Crowe.
That you are.”
He raised an eyebrow. “In other words, you’re saying I’m cheesy?”
“Basically. But take into effect that I’m drunk.”
“You don’t seem your usual drunk.”
She shrugged. “No one gave me any wine or vodka. This is new for me.” She
looked around the table, scattered containers of mostly eaten food and empty glasses
38
littering it. Out of complete impulse, she picked up a not-touched brownie and a fork and
took a bite. “Fuck, who ordered this shit?”
Crowe gave her a look. “You did.”
She took another few bites. “Someone else ordered a fucking brownie and didn’t
eat it. Now I have to pay.”
He rolled his eyes. “Give me a bite and shut up.” She cut him off a piece and
handed the fudge covered treat to him like it was a cracker. Although a bit annoyed, he
took the piece and ate it, licking his fingers clean. “Honey, you know that you gave Sven
your car keys, right?” Her eyes widened for a second, but otherwise her facial expression
remained controlled, nearly done with the brownie. “So how’s his theatre going?”
She tossed the box across the table and shrugged. “He’s been working with a
vocal coach once a week and says he wants to be able to be Marius for Les Misérables’s
thirtieth anniversary. Otherwise, he’s still choosing yes or no for the political props, and
wants to pursue his aviation hobby. Yeah, uh, what should I do about that one? I know
that politics is a shark tank, but I’m more scared that he’ll end up in plane crash. I mean, I
don’t like those little aviator planes where it should be transferred back to Hitler’s army.
Come on, Crowe! There’s already been like five people from this town who got into
deadly plane crashes and then their relatives become one of ‘those people’ and I couldn’t
handle that stress let alone losing who has come to become my son. You get it, right?”
“Um, Ariadne, first of all, I don’t remember disagreeing with you and well, if
you’re scared, buy him a flight simulator game.”
Her glazed eyes lit up. “Oh my God, you just said Sven’s Christmas present!” She
put Crowe into a hug. “I love you, man.”
39
He humored her, patting her lightly on the back. “I love you too, you…crazy
you.”
*
*
*
Despite the not-too-ordinary Friday night, Crowe, his kids, Ariadne, and Sven
were all up and moving around ten, Ariadne, for unknown reasons, in dire need of seeing
“her pet shark Kevin.”
“Do you think the people will get mad at me again if I use more than two
fingers?” Sven asked his aunt.
She honestly had to think about it. “Yeah, they’ll get mad. We all know that
they’re uptight pussies.”
A few young children and their parents gave Ariadne side-glances. Sven smirked.
“She’s from New York,” he joked.
She gave him a look. “Funny.”
He nudged her, his smile still on his face. “You shouldda said ‘Reckon they’re
uptight pussies,’ then everyone would’ve known that you’re from the south.”
She removed the sunglasses she’d worn for the sole purpose of hiding her
bloodshot eyes (it was overcast) to glare at him. “Go pet your stingrays with four fingers
and get yelled at.”
Sven smiled innocently and ran off to one of the shallow pools with the baby
stingrays and sharks with little kids bending over to pet the animals, Rose soon joining
him. Crowe joined his partner.
“So where’s your shark?” he asked, trying to be as serious as he could.
40
She motioned toward a tank where one could only see the top from the level they
were at. “Over there. Say, where’s Dorian?”
Crowe looked around them. “Um…” He turned around, still unable to find his
host son. “Shit, where’s he gone off to now?”
Ariadne shrugged and left to the upper view of the large shark tank. Inside, it was
clear to see a full-grown nurse shark, tiger shark, white tip, and a few others, along with
an adult stingray. She quickly identified Kevin, a nurse shark. She pressed up to the glass,
smiling.
“Hey Kevin! I’ve missed you so much, buddy. I know, I’ve been in Paris all
summer and haven’t been able to come see you and I’m so sorry. I know they’re treating
you well—”
“Who’s Kevin?” Dorian asked, slinking up next to her.
“A shark I named a few years ago. I can still remember petting him when he was
baby. Y’see he had this scratch on him, so I know who he is. He’s a great shark, and I
wish I could interact with him the way I could when he was a baby.”
“Yeah, Sven’s been showing me the proper petting technique,” he said, motioning
to his completely soaked right arm. “Apparently chasing after a stingray and submerging
your arm into the water to pet him is considered taboo. Whatever.”
Ariadne couldn’t hold back a smile. “Smooth, Rocko.”
He blinked. “Excuse me?”
She stared at him for a second before realizing her mistake. “Oh! Sorry, can I
name you after a fictional wallaby?”
He bit his lip. “Is this fictional wallaby as badass as me?”
41
“He unknowingly took a sex phone operator job and grabbed a bear’s balls in the
same series.”
“Um…I think I better see this show.”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s a ‘90s cartoon, Mr. I-Hate-Censorship.”
His eyes lit up. “I think I know what you’re talking about.” He frowned. “That
guy didn’t even have a proper Australian accent!”
“So? That show like, explained my entire life as soon as I moved out of
Alabama.”
He blinked. “You unknowingly grabbed a bear’s nuts while picking berries?”
She looked away. “I’m not telling you if I won’t even tell Sven.”
“That kid you got, man, he’s got some spunk to him which is only accented by his
blatant ignorance.”
She crossed her arms, her parenting suddenly under fire. “What ignorance?”
“He doesn’t know what a LUG is.”
She didn’t want him to see her agree. “Go play with Sven and tell Logan that you
didn’t get eaten by a flounder.”
He rolled his eyes and walked off, motioning Crowe toward Ariadne.
“So are you still thinking of doing it?” he asked her.
“Uh-huh. How hard do you think it’ll be?”
He shrugged. “How many guards do you think they keep out? Five or so? Easy. If
they have a cover, we can get that off. Then all we need is rope and someone to work it.
I’d say it’s a safe bet for success.”
She smiled slyly. “Excellent.”
42
“So uh, where’s Corydon today?”
“At the Toyota Center playing hockey with his fellow Canadians.”
Crowe smiled. “He any good?”
She nodded. “Well, honestly, I think so. I mean, he’s graceful, I know that. I
mean, damn, he’s like a gazelle on ice or something.”
Crowe’s smile turned to a smirk. “Gazelle on ice? Once again, your metaphors
suck.”
“And once again, they’re Ariadne Evans approved.”
He muffled a laugh. “So the Canadian plays hockey?”
“Y’know, people think that it’s a stereotype, but it’s more of a tradition. Like, all
kids play hockey at some point and whether or not they go pro separates the hockey
players from the typical Canadians. Obviously, he just didn’t pursue to that extent and
why would he? He’s too smart for just hockey. But hey, it’s a refresher to have a guy who
actually has the coordination to ice skate.” She winked.
Crowe smiled. “Yeah, Mattie was strong, but coordinated was never a word to
describe him.”
“No kidding.”
“So where in Canada is he from?”
“Ontario…um, I think Peterborough.” Crowe nodded, but didn’t have that certain
confidence to him. “You have no idea where Ontario is, do you?”
“No.”
“By New York. It’s the province with Toronto. Like…Toronto Maple Leaves.”
“Ohh, that place.”
43
“Yup. Canada…”
“So you going to church tomorrow?”
She gave him a look. “It was on my list of things to do.”
“So I’m guessing that you don’t want to do a four am job?”
She shrugged. “I can just sleep before.”
“So…meet at my place at two am?”
“Should I bring Sven?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you gonna leave Dorian hanging?”
He bit his lip. “What do you think? I mean, it’s not like we’re stealing
anything…”
“How about we play it by ear?”
44
Chapter 4
Adrenaline Rush
“Okay Rose, I need you to be with me 100% right now, okay?” Crowe said as he
pulled a sleepy Rose out of bed.
“I’m with you, Dad. I just can’t guarantee 100%.”
Rose couldn’t help but blame herself for the sluggish feeling; she just had to insist
that she accompany the adults and Sven to their little aquarium thing.
“That’s fine. But here’s the deal: we don’t want Dorian to catch on, but if he does,
I want you to tell him that I’m in Interpol agent. I know that you didn’t take it too well
when you found out that I was a thief, and with him and the foreign country thing, I have
to be a security blanket for him. Let’s keep him as ignorant as we possibly can. Also,
please, there are going to be times when I want to speak with you and Sven alone, so try
to…y’know, nudge him into getting a girlfriend or signing up for a sports team or
something, okay?”
“Interpol. Extra curriculars. Got it. Anything else?”
He smiled slightly. “Don’t make any loud noises.”
As a precaution, Crowe made it so they met the Evanses after leaving the house. It
wasn’t like he didn’t trust them or anything but Ariadne did have a record for
unintentionally falling on objects, making either A) them crash to the ground or B) her to
swear loud enough that it wouldn’t matter.
“So no Rocko?” Ariadne confirmed.
Crowe smiled. “Why scare him when it’s barely been a week? Besides, I don’t
think he needs to know that you really are crazy.”
45
She glared at him. “There is nothing crazy about re-bonding with an old friend.”
“No, there’s nothing wrong with that, but there is something wrong about your
desire to have me dangle you above a shark tank.”
“I’m only doing it because I trust you’re not going to drop me in.”
He winked. “Can’t guarantee anything. I have butterfingers, after all.”
Unable to find the right words at first, all Ariadne could do was have a mini sort
of spazz attack with the intention of saying “you’ve got to be kidding me.”
“That doesn’t even make sense! You don’t use non-sarcasm emphasis when the
truth is the exact opposite. If you really wanted to get your point across, you would’ve
said, “yeah, cause my grip is soo great” and then used sarcasm—”
“Ariadne, I’m trying to drive! No English lessons!”
“I’ll be telling you that when you try to engage me with your atheism, you
uneducated prick.”
“Oh no, I went to online college and missed out on all the educational experiences
of college such as LUGing…”
“Hey! Being a LUG is a very educational experience that only college cradles you
in! You think you can pretend to be a lesbian for a few years in the real world? Hell no.
And either way, what do you even have a degree in?”
“Neurological studies.”
“Ha ha. And Sven’s not a virgin.”
“HEY!”
She waved him dismissively as Crowe had to focus back on the road from the
suppressed laughter. “No, I have a criminal psychology major.”
46
“Oh, so you just asked yourself the questions and wrote down what you thought?”
He smirked. “Yup. Why bother studying? The degree was just something flashy
for Interpol.”
“Dammit Crowe, do you have any idea how grueling my college experience was?
Screw you.”
“I didn’t tell you to double major.”
“I didn’t! I majored in English and minored in theatre.”
“Masters?”
“I needed that to become a teacher, dumbass.”
“Now I know this could prove deadly, but could you guys maybe have this
discussion somewhere else so perhaps Rose and I could hear the music over your
whining?” Sven butted in.
Ariadne suddenly focused on what was playing. She laughed when she realized
what it was.
“Oh sorry Sven-y, didn’t mean to interrupt your Wicked jam session.”
Crowe gave Ariadne a look when they reached a stoplight. “How is Wicked
playing in my car?”
“I put my iPod on shuffle.”
He nodded. “Explains how we went from Phantom of the Opera to Green Day in
one leap.” An operatic Christmas song came on next, causing Crowe to have an itching
urge to facepalm. “Now what is this?”
“‘Jingle Bell Rock’ sung by Alfie Boe, operatic tenor.”
He took a long, slow breath. “And next we’ll have some death metal on?”
47
Ariadne considered it. “Yeah, probably. That, Bible music, pop punk, or one of
those embarrassing songs that you buy and forget to uncheck on your iTunes.”
“You have Bible music?”
She shrugged. “Does Relient K count?”
“I have no idea.”
She punched Crowe’s shoulder. “Get with the times, bro!”
“But Relient K was last decade band,” Sven commented.
Ariadne gave her nephew a look. “Why bother keeping up with all the crap they
have playing now, though?”
Sven really could only nod in agreement.
*
*
*
After Crowe did a quick recon job, he concluded that there were three guards to
get past, one of which might require some quieting. Otherwise, they put a relatively thin
seal over the open tanks, probably so no one accidentally fell in or something.
“Sven, you’re standing in as guard once we deal with him,” Crowe explained.
“Rose, I want you to play lookout. Just walk around and see if anyone starts to come our
way. Sven, you’re grabbing the uniform and radio off the guy we knock out, so you two
need to keep in communication. We shouldn’t take long.”
“What exactly are you guys doing?” Rose couldn’t help but ask.
Crowe smiled. “You’ll see when—”
Ariadne’s eyes lit up. “Oh Rose! Nix your other job! You’re going to be filming
what we’re doing.” Crowe glared at his partner. “We don’t need a lookout. We have
Sven!”
48
“But I’m not that reliable! Remember your Bluetooth?” Sven said, all his effort
focused on him and Rose in constant non-adult-interfering communication.
She smiled. “Yes, and I happen to remember you, God bless, managing to
complete the job.”
“That was pure luck.”
She glared at him. “Just take orders as taken, Sven. We didn’t have to bring you.”
Crowe leaned into her as they slowly walked toward the aquarium entrance. “We
technically did. No one’s as short as Rose…”
She looked Crowe right in the eyes. “Logan?”
“What?”
“Shut up.”
Crowe led the three around back until they reached a fence, where he gave the
mark to make themselves as invisible as possible. It felt oddly nostalgic to watch the
other three follow suit in putting the black bandannas over their noses and mouths, black
cadet caps to hide their hair. He checked, although not as necessary as a real job,
everyone had their gloves on.
Crowe easily jumped the barrier between the outer harbor and the outside area of
the aquarium. He crouched down and checked for the guard. Just when he thought the
coast was clear, he narrowly missed being spotted. The guard didn’t look that old, maybe
in his mid twenties, walking around with the uncertainty and boredom of someone still in
their first year of a night shift.
Crowe yawned. The kid would be so easy to take down that he might actually feel
pity for it. Then again, anything was worth getting Ariadne to shut up about her shark. He
49
crept out from his hiding place and wielded his weapon of choice. Although he would’ve
preferred something less Stone Age, the best he could come up with on short notice was a
kids’ size baseball bat that he found lying around his garage. Yes, it was pink, but at least
it was actually metal.
As he took tiny details into effect in order not to kill the night guard, he couldn’t
help wishing that he still had Mattie with him. If he were there, he would’ve been able to
knock the guy out without even breaking a sweat in fear for the guy’s life. Plus, he
wouldn’t need a two foot pink baseball bat to do it.
Despite his moments of doubt, he managed to knock the guy out in one shot, no
blood pooling onto the concrete. He and the guard were nowhere near where he and the
gang would be, so he figured leaving him would be the safest option. As smoothly as he
could, he pulled the guard’s uniform off and signaled for the rest of them to make their
way in.
Once Crowe saw Sven’s face, he threw the clothes at him, waited until he’d
fumbled the clothes on over his other clothes, and handed him the radio.
“Your job is third most important in the immediate job, but most important in the
scheme of us not going to jail so don’t mess this up,” Ariadne said to Sven as Crowe
handed him the radio.
“Wait, what do I do if I hear someone coming or something?”
“Just like the old job; we’re on Bluetooth.”
After Sven was briefed, Crowe grabbed Rose and ran off toward the big shark
tank with Ariadne. Once there, he gave Rose a small video camera and threw some rope
and a harness on the floor near where Ariadne was standing.
50
“Okay Rose, you can probably guess that you’re just filming this in case
something amusing happens and Ari, make sure you’re careful with that harness.
Knowing you, if you fell into that tank, you’d end up cutting yourself because it would be
out of character for you not to.”
Ariadne slipped on the harness and tightened it as tight as she could go without
losing circulation. “Are you just spotting me on your own?”
“Do you see anyone else here?”
“No, I meant like you’re just going to have the rope on your back and be feeding
me down, or are you at least going to tie me to something else?”
Crowe thought about it. “If we’re getting technical, there’s no poles or anything
that would suspend you above water level anyway. So, I think we’re safest if I’m just
dealing the rope. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re not too heavy.” Despite what he said, he
smirked and winked.
The only rational thing she thought to do was give him the death glare.
“So um, is one of you going to remove the cover?” Rose interrupted, slightly edgy
yet trying a joking tone. As far as she was concerned, having those two on edge with each
other while one was controlling whether the other was going to plunge to her supposed
death, it might be best to keep them on good terms. Or, sort of good terms anyway.
Ariadne and Crowe exchanged a quick glance. Overall, the problem wasn’t that it
was too heavy, it was that the scratching plastic against concrete was making an
earsplitting racket. Just a tiny bit more on edge, they got the cover off a bit more hastily.
Once Crowe was certain that Ariadne’s harness wouldn’t cause them any problems, he
hooked the rope to a loop on the back of the harness and tugged.
51
As usual, Ariadne wasn’t ready for the tug and fell back flailing into Crowe, who
nearly fell back into the open shark tank. In order to mask her heart attack, Rose raised an
eyebrow and made sure her camera caught that.
“You guys are so not rusty.”
Ariadne looked between her current position and the camera. “What is this?
Humiliating Moments with Ariadne Part 2?”
Rose smirked. “Yup. Part 1: Paris. Part 2: Los Angeles!” she said moving her free
arm like an inspired director.
Crowe lightly pushed Ariadne off him. “Let’s just get this over with, okay
everyone?”
Rose and Ariadne nodded, each moving into the proper position, Rose off to the
sides and…well technically the tangled position Ariadne and Crowe had taken up was
almost right, except Crowe moved away from the tank. Ariadne was about to jump in, but
Crowe kept her anchored in place.
“What?”
“Don’t just jump in. Try sort of climbing in so I can edge into holding your full
weight, fat joke intended.”
She glared at him as she climbed into the tank, the water not starting for another
several feet down. “Just so you know, I am not overweight right now in any way. I’d
show you my kickass body, but that would be inappropriate.”
Crowe smirked as he quickly got used to her weight and gave her the signal to let
go.
52
“Okay, now just lower me down gently. I just need to be like a foot above the
surface to be able to touch him.”
“How do you even know he’ll be around for you to touch?”
“He always skims the surface. Just trust me.”
Crowe, in a joking mood (and to make up for all the times Ariadne messed with
him while he was out in the field), he let go of the rope, letting it slide several feet down.
“LOGAN!”
He smirked. “Yes, dear?”
“Gentle does not mean drop me!”
“I’m sorry! I can’t hear you over the drumbeat of vengeance.”
“Vengeance?! You asshole, all I’m asking is to not get dropped into a shark
tank!”
Crowe rolled his eyes and returned to the careful lowering. “This good, master?”
At that point, Ariadne was right where she needed to be, just barely having her
front side touch dorsal fins.
“Steady as she goes, captain?” Crowe called down.
“Yeah, we’re perfect. Stay here.”
At that point, Crowe dug the heels of his shoes into the concrete and leaned
backward, relieved to find that Ariadne didn’t go jerking upward.
Ariadne was in an odd sense of peace as she was slightly sheltered from the
November winds, removing her gloves and throwing them up (with the gloves coming
right back down to her a few more times than desired) to Crowe and reaching out to the
water’s surface. As expected, Kevin did soon skim the surface of the water, Ariadne
53
easily able to glide her fingertips against his (or her, Ariadne had forgotten to ask) rough
skin.
“You doing okay down there, Alabama?” Crowe asked casually, still in his
leaning position.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said too low for Crowe to hear, indulging on the once-in-alifetime experience.
He felt just like as a baby, except now there was just so much more. Her entire
hand brushed against his back and it didn’t touch each end. And, just as he was there, he
was gone, back down to the lower areas of his tank.
“Okay Crowe, I’m ready to come back up,” she called up.
Crowe got out of his leaning position and got the rope ready yet…hesitated. He
admitted, yes, it was immature, but then again, what wasn’t immature when it came to
him and Ariadne?
“Hey Rosie, there’s a towel in the bag with you. Could you take it and lay it out
right here?” he said, motioning toward the spot next to him with his foot.
Rose’s mouth quirked, placing the camera on the edge, laid the towel out like
instructed, and returned to her work. “In case she asks, I’m just an innocent bystander.”
Crowe winked and let go of the rope until the first nanosecond after he heard a
splash. He quickly glanced down while Ariadne was still recovering; he didn’t want to
completely submerge her, just give her a taste.
“I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” she exclaimed right before Crowe
started pulling her back up to the surface.
“Aww, I’m so sorry. Butterfingers.”
54
He didn’t even have to see her face to know that she was giving him the death
glare. Before she could climb out of the tank herself, Crowe grabbed her from the waist
and placed her dripping body onto the towel.
“I brought you one of my old hoodies. Figured it’d be long enough for you.”
She wasn’t speaking, which only indicted even more heated anger coming from
his already moody partner. Only for a moment did Ariadne and Rose meet gazes, Rose
easily able to identify the icy fury in her now advisor’s already light grey-blue eyes.
There was something almost threatening about the way the color suited Ariadne that she
hadn’t noticed before. Ariadne and Sven had the same color eyes, but somehow the light
color against Sven’s medium brown hair made him look more innocent while it just made
Ariadne look colder, especially since her usually lighter brown hair was darker and
sticking to her face.
Rose could only manage a half smile, hoping her bright blue eyes gave off
innocence as opposed to the mischief her father’s eyes gave off. Sure, she’d only gotten a
ring of brown from her father, but she wasn’t so sure that that wasn’t enough.
Luckily, Ariadne soon moved her gaze back to Crowe. “Did it occur to you that
the trail of water might set someone off?”
Crowe nodded and pulled out the hoodie. “Hence the jacket!”
Crowe pulled Ariadne to her feet and handed her the hoodie. Still glaring, she
zipped the hoodie on, internally sighed in relief when it reached about mid-thigh, and
shed her own wet jacket, tank top, and pants.
“God, I feel like Maddy Henshaw…” Ariadne griped as she took off her shoes
and socks and laid them on top of the clothes.
55
Rose stifled a laugh, immediately understanding Ariadne’s allusion. Taking her
father’s replacing the tank’s cover as a sign that they were leaving, Rose took one last
search through the bag and found a pair of socks, quickly handing them to Ariadne in an
attempt to avoid Ariadne’s look of annoyance at the look of the unconscious pity that
Rose couldn’t help show in her expression at the time. Once Ariadne had the socks on,
she balled up the clothes and socks, chucked one of her shoes at Crowe as hard as she
could, and helped Rose stuff everything back into the bag.
Although the blow did sort of hurt, Crowe laughed it off and threw Ariadne a pair
of gloves and a bandanna back. Once they collected Sven, there was the matter of the
nearly naked guard lying on the floor. Sven already laid his clothes on the floor, but there
was the matter of dressing him or not.
“No way in hell am I doing that again,” Crowe said pretty much immediately.
“Sure, because no one would be suspicious if they woke up in their underwear,”
Ariadne deadpanned.
Crowe shrugged. “No one saying you can’t get raped in Long Beach.”
“BY WHAT, A SQUID?” Ariadne looked between the blank expressions on Rose
and Sven’s faces for a bit before throwing up her hands and proclaiming, “You’re such a
pussy. God, sure, make me do everything…”
About ten minutes later, the night guard had his clothes back on and the Murder
was safely driving back home. Sven had been singing/talking for a while, constantly
changing pitches, although it was too quiet for the adults to think much of it.
“Um, Ariadne?” Crowe said after it started to occur to him that Sven hadn’t
stopped.
56
“What?”
“What’s wrong with Sven?”
She actually listened, but was only able to pick up a few words. “He’s either
singing ‘Javert’s Intervention’ or talking to himself. At this point, I don’t really care.”
Crowe smirked. “Ah yes, schizophrenia and singing, totally on the same spectrum
of worry.”
“Mind your own child, Crowe.”
*
*
*
By the time Ariadne dragged herself back inside, she wasn’t prepared for the
sound of a paper floating off her desk, let alone a person. So, naturally, she found it
perfectly reasonable to scream before actually turning on her brain or the lights.
“Ari! Ariadne, Jesus!”
Finally, the gears in her brain started turning and she realized that it was only
Corydon.
“Christ Cor, what time is it?” she demanded, now freaking over the fact that all
she was wearing was Logan’s hoodie.
By now, the lights were on. Corydon glanced up at a wall clock, already dressed
in a trousers and a black button down shirt, his typical church attire since leaving his
position as the priest at the slightly off kilter church he founded and left for Ariadne.
“It’s around six. I thought I’d come over to cook breakfast with you for Sven
since he doesn’t like Sunday mornings.” He smiled. “Course, I didn’t exactly find you.”
He walked up to her and gave her a kiss, causing him to frown. “Now, I hate to be the
prying boyfriend, but why do you smell like an aquarium?”
57
She rubbed the back of her neck. “Well, it’s not illegal by technical standards.
Maybe a misdemeanor. All we did was Logan helped me sneak into the Aquarium of the
Pacific so I could finally pet Kevin again. And…well, Logan kind of dipped me into the
shark tank, hence me not wearing my clothing.” Sven walked in then, casually giving
Corydon a wave and a quick hello, causing Corydon to lose his focus for the second it
took to say hi back. “And…since we didn’t really do anything bad…I thought we could
just keep it at a night of stupidity and my desire to fulfill my strange hobbies.”
She gave her best innocent smile, causing him to roll his eyes. “You are just
something else, Ariadne. Look, whatever, yeah, shark tank diving is a lot more dangerous
than hockey or whatever I do, but please don’t get yourself killed. Just—you’re not going
back to whatever strange vigilantism you and Logan started, right?” She nodded. “Well
then, ugh, just, keep it that way. I want you to be safe and morale and…you get me,
right?”
She ran her hand through his curly dark hair. “Yeah, I do. Look, I’m sorry that I
scared you and all. Can I go take a shower so you don’t have to pretend that I don’t smell
like shit?”
“Fish.”
“Same thing!”
About twenty minutes later, Ariadne came down in a blouse and a longer skirt, the
slight amount of effort into her makeup and hair that she gave for church already applied.
After all, now that she was with Corydon, there was no one left to impress. For a bit, the
two were caught between making breakfast and taking advantage of their alone time.
58
Ultimately, they chose the lazy option, planning to throw toaster waffles into the toaster
for Sven and make avocado toast for themselves.
So, until Sven showed his face, they had over an hour for alone time, sprawled on
the couch, Corydon holding Ariadne as she lay on top of him, her hands always on him,
whether it be running through his hair, caressing his face, or exploring his body.
“Ari?” Corydon whispered as they caught their breath.
“Yeah?”
He put a hand on her cheek. “You’re beautiful. You know that, right?”
She blushed and wrapped her fingers around the hand he put on her cheek. “Why
does everything sound better with that accent?”
He laughed and kissed her collarbone. “I think it makes me unmanly. No one
takes me serious with this accent.” He moved up to her neck, lingering his kisses on her
neck.
“Hey Dracula, no hickies before church,” she joked.
He chuckled and continued to kiss, now up to her jawbone. “Do you think it’s
sexy?”
She smiled. “Your accent? Hell yeah, it’s sexier than the bits left of mine.” A
smile played on his lips. “But, y’know, if you want to be the next Adolf Hitler, I admit,
your voice isn’t right for that.”
He laughed, but kept going. One kiss from her lips. “Thank you for your honesty.
You can’t either.”
Before Ariadne could make a comeback, they were once again deep kissing. All
at once, her focus melted away, and suddenly, all she knew was how soft his lips felt,
59
how warm his breath and touch was, and how addicting the whole experience was. God,
she could keep kissing him for hours and it would never be any less exciting. She loved
how gentle his touch was, how it made her shiver when he ran his fingers along her skin,
his soft words in her ears, telling her that she was beautiful. How could she have lasted
fifteen years without the proper affection that only good, sweet, loving man could give?
She could only hope that she was giving him the happiness he gave her.
Eventually, their kissing and touches got a little too frisky and they had to stop,
each with a purity ring nagging them. She couldn’t help feeling a bit young with the ring
preventing them from consummating everything, but she figured that if their relationship
was to last, it shouldn’t be based on sex anyway. Besides, he was once a priest for
Christ’s sake; he probably wanted to wait.
Despite the end to their kissing, he still wasn’t ready to let her go. Only a few
seconds passed before he pulled her back into him, her head resting in the crook of his
neck, his body and embrace keeping her warm.
“Ariadne?”
She dug her face into him. “Mmhmm?”
“I love you.”
It wasn’t until then that she really realized how tired she was. She’d only gotten a
few hours of sleep before going off with Crowe, and it was really starting to get to her.
She barely registered what Corydon said before drifting off, her last words a content
mumble.
“I love you too, honey.”
60
Chapter 5
Unpaid Help
“Okay guys, I have a problem,” Ariadne announced as she rushed into the office
and threw her stuff down on her desk.
Jasper Barnett, her fellow chaperone on the Paris trip and her drinking buddy,
smirked. “Well, I guess we all know it’s a normal Monday.”
Ariadne took a breath and sat down, absentmindedly leafing through papers.
“Okay, so yesterday morning before church Corydon came over,” Ariadne begun, her
Alabama accent showing through pretty clearly, “and it wasn’t even a special occasion. I
mean, we talked about his accent the whole time and we kissed but then we were
cuddling and he tells me that he loves me! And I’m so exhausted from that night of
sleeplessness that I just go along with it and tell him that I love him back but I’m not sure
if I love him or not and I told the priest at Confession that I hadn’t lied in that week and if
I don’t love him then I lied during Confession too!”
Barnett looked at her blankly. “So is this about church or your boyfriend?”
She picked up a pen and threw it at Barnett, quickly losing the accent she acquired
when panicked. “My boyfriend, you idiot!”
Elizabeth stepped in. “So, wait, your boyfriend told you that he loved you and
you’re just seeing if you do too. Do you think you do?”
Ariadne hesitated. “I just don’t know. I mean, we’ve only been dating for three
months—”
“It’s too early to tell,” Barnett commented.
“—But we’ve known each other for eight years.”
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“Jesus woman, that’s more than enough time to figure it out!” Barnett commented
again.
Ariadne turned to Barnett. “Would you shut up?”
He smiled. “We on for New Year’s Eve?”
“Yeah, yeah. So um, what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to start making this a
habit for us if I don’t mean it. I don’t need to have a relationship of equal emotional depth
to the freshmen.”
The other five teachers in the office exchanged glances before the art teacher who
was a year older than Ariadne spoke up. “Here, I had this sort of system I went through
with my boyfriend before he got deployed. He told that he didn’t want us to stay together
unless we knew that we really loved each other, so we picked one night and went on one
date. But this date is divided into three parts. In part one, you guys pick a place where
you can just have fun, laugh together, make jokes together. Then you go out to dinner and
talk for a few hours, just make sure you love talking to him, that you feel like you gain
something from conversation. Then, go back to your house and kiss for a while or
whatever that purity ring lets you do. By the end of the night, you’ll know.”
Ariadne had no idea that that was even an option, but was eternally grateful.
“Helen, you’re amazing.”
Helen smiled. “Thanks.”
“Hey, I gave some solid advice too!” Barnett interjected.
Elizabeth turned to Jasper. “Um…what did you suggest?”
“Drinking! Duh!”
62
Ariadne gave him a look. “Yeah, cause drinking was the best thing that ever
happened for your relationship.”
He pointed a finger at her. “You never told Celine about that, right?”
She rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? Of course I told her—”
“Ariadne!”
“Jasper! God dammit, why would I frickin tell her something I made up?” She
smirked. “Besides, bitch slapping your sorry ass was the best thing I ever did.”
He rubbed his cheek. “That was so dirty fighting.”
“Licking your fingertips is not dirty fighting.”
“But turning your twenty thousand rings inward is.”
She smiled. “That’s actually what we call smart moves.”
Helen exchanged looks with Elizabeth, Pat (Sven’s writing teacher), and Zane (an
upper level science teacher). “I have the strange feeling that we missed a really funny
Paris trip.”
*
*
*
As much as Rose desperately wished that Dorian would ignore the whole her-andher-father-walking-into-the-house-at-6 am-thing, things never turned out as hoped.
During lunch, he pulled her aside, asking for help with a math problem while failing to
bring his actual math binder.
He smiled a crooked smile. “I believe that there’s something you should explain
to me.”
Rose decided to act dumb, despite knowing that it would end in failure. “What are
you talking about? Where’s your binder?”
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He put a hand on her shoulder. “Rose, why did you and your dad leave and then
come back at five or six in the morning?”
Rose gave a weak grin. “Would you like me to rattle off lame and off the wall
excuses or just give you the truth?”
His smirk became more pronounced. “Exactly how off the wall can you do?”
Rose bit her lip. “Actually, the real story is pretty off the wall on its own.”
Dorian nodded. “Go ahead. Truth.”
Rose exhaled. “Well, Ariadne wanted to pet Kevin and so she convinced my dad
to help her sneak into the aquarium we went to and he basically put her on a rope and
lowered her into the shark tank after knocking out the night shift and basically I filmed it.
My dad thought it would be funny to dunk Ariadne into the shark tank, so that kind of
extended it.”
“Where was Sven?”
“Taking the place of the night shift.”
Dorian knitted his brows together and stroked his chin. “How do either of them
know how to do stuff like that?”
What time was it? Interpol excuse time! “My dad and mom used to work side by
side in Interpol. My dad typically had to work undercover and work with the criminals
until my mom apprehended them, so he knows all that thief stuff. Ariadne was dating my
uncle who also worked in the same undercover field with my dad and so she picked up a
few things. My uncle was killed a while back by a sort of vendetta from some gangster
criminal to another and after that Ariadne and my dad went off to other jobs. My dad
started investing his savings into the stock market and got lucky several times, so much
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that the family technically didn’t have to work anymore, but my mom loved the job so
much that she stayed.”
Rose had to hand it to herself; that was a pretty well covered lie. Well, good
enough for a near first timer. Plus, she even got the family fortune in there. She glanced
up at Dorian, whose expression had switched to some kind of what? Respect?
Admiration? More questions? She couldn’t tell.
“So…excuse my asking, but how did your mum die?”
Rose suddenly felt vulnerable and unsure of herself, as if she couldn’t tell if she’d
break down crying or not. Sure, time had helped heal the pain, but the nightmares of her
dead mother’s face still haunted her. She licked her lips and swallowed. “She died in a
household accident.”
Dorian nodded sympathetically. “What happened?”
Shit. Her dad had never said what kind of household accident! Most people had
more than Dorian’s level of respect and never asked questions. She looked around the
space they were in, at the patterned carpet and the tan walls with the blue doors. What
kinds of household accidents are there? “She tripped on the stairs above the tile floor and
hit her head on it. Freak accident.”
Dorian lifted his eyebrows. “Jesus, I’m so sorry.”
Rose felt an uncomfortable combination of mourning pain and guilt. “Thanks.”
Dorian felt suddenly claustrophobic. It was obvious that neither of the Crowes
wanted to talk about the death of Rose’s mother, and it made him a major dick for prying.
He internally chastised himself and tried to steer the subject away from Mrs. Crowe.
“So…uh, I guess that your dad and your mum have some crazy stories, eh?”
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Rose smiled. “Yeah. Hell, you should’ve seen how they fell in love.”
It was April. It was April in Patrick Astello’s palace in Turkey. He was throwing a
ball, unknowingly having invited not only about five Interpol agents but the Murder as
well. Or, as it went down, only Logan Crowe himself, seeing as Mattie couldn’t dance
and Ariadne didn’t want to have her fifteen-year-old face viewed by the cops.
Patrick Astello: the second most convenient member of the criminal group
Erudires, each member personally responsible for the death of Mattie and Logan’s
parents. Astello was a drug lord who was responsible for providing the means to knock
out victims to the entire gang’s people trafficking operation.
So, donning a mask and a tuxedo, Crowe sauntered in and offered a dance to one
of the cops, his favorite cop to be exact: a young, feisty woman named Bianca Moretti.
Although her name would suggest direct Italian heritage, she was born in America, but
given her place as a second-generation immigrant, she still looked completely at home in
Italy with dark blond hair and flawless skin.
Bianca smiled at Logan’s tempting offer. Even with the mask obscuring part of his
face, she could tell that he was a good-looking man with hypnotizing brown eyes.
“Show me what you’ve got, mysterious stranger,” she replied to his offer.
He smiled. “As you wish.”
For what felt like hours, the two danced, Logan’s abilities far surpassing anything
Bianca could’ve imagined. In truth, Crowe had been practicing for days just for this very
job. If all was going well, Mattie and Ariadne were getting ready to drop a bag of
Astello’s drugs from the upper floor where he stored it, prompting a quick arrest for the
undercover cops.
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When they stopped, Bianca wanted nothing more than to have this stranger hold
her close again. Something about him was almost addicting.
“What’s your name, stranger?” she whispered, running her hand through his
dark hair.
He smiled. “I’d tell you, but it feels a bit too stuffy in here for any real
conversation, wouldn’t you say?”
Bianca broke her gaze from her dance partner. It was true about the stuffy part:
the place was packed wall to wall with men and women in expensive formal wear and
elaborate masks. An idea suddenly occurred to Bianca, and for what felt like the first
time in her life, it sounded like a good idea. A genuinely great idea.
“Let’s go back to the guesthouse. I have a room alone,” she suggested.
Crowe internally let out a sigh of relief; walking into his hotel room only to find
Mattie and Ariadne making out with late night cartoons playing in the background
surrounded by all the stuffed animals they’d collected over the course of a month could
prove to be just a bit awkward.
They soon escaped the ballroom and were back out into the open air, the night
with a pleasant warmth to it. The guesthouse was a bit of a walk, but it was worth it. For
the first time in years, maybe even a decade since he first met Bianca, she was letting him
put his arm around her. He was buzzing on adrenaline and pure happiness. God, he
never thought this moment would come. It didn’t matter that he could probably have any
woman he wanted, Bianca just hadn’t let their spark come between their “professional
differences.” So, yeah, Crowe was technically an international criminal and she was an
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Interpol agent. Crowe saw that as simply an obstacle to their love, not something to keep
them apart. Besides, he knew that she liked him.
The walk was ended with a rush of cool air coming from the guesthouse’s air
conditioning. Her room was on the edge of one of the hallways. Even after years of trying
to imagine a night like this, Crowe didn’t take in a single inch of the room Bianca led him
to. All he knew was that she and him ended up on her bed where, in order to avoid the
name question, he pulled her on top of him and kissed her.
To his surprise, she kissed him back. Passionately. Keeping his cool as his
emotions were the brink of flooding out, he attempted to clear his mind and remember
exactly what he was supposed to do.
So, using every skill, every experience he’d ever had as reference, he kissed her
back. Hours must’ve passed, the two hardly coming up for breaths, each moment too
exhilarating to bother with human issues like it. Things slowly got more physical, a soft
moan escaping Bianca as they kissed, Logan’s hands migrating away from her face and
hair. Kissing went to love bites. Hands could no longer remain above necks, for either of
them. One piece at a time, their clothes came off.
God, God, oh my God, this is really happening, Crowe thought as they pulled the
covers over them.
And that was it. All it took, hours in the dark of the night, the moon as their only
light, as intimate as either of them had felt in their entire lives, and Logan knew that he
was hopelessly in love. Hours swiftly passed them by, neither ready for their night to be
done. There was just too much to learn, too much to experience, and not enough time.
Bianca couldn’t believe what she was feeling. Never had a one-night stand ever been so
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special, her partner so perfectly committed to making the night for both of them. He made
love as if they were already married, yet with the passion that made the entire experience
addicting and thrilling at the same time.
“What’s your name, stranger?” she whispered after they finally finished.
“Logan Crowe.”
She was exhausted, too tired and blissful for the name to fully sink in. Not minutes
after Logan saying his name was she asleep, still curled into his body. For a bit, Logan
sat back and thought. If he knew women, he knew that she had enjoyed herself and she
hadn’t seemed disturbed by his name. Did that mean something? Did she feel what he
felt? Did she see what he saw that night? All the questions were just too overwhelming,
and a part of him told him that he’d never get his answers.
So, he got up, pulled his clothes back on, and prepared himself to leave. However,
two things delayed him. The first came from a glance or two around the room. The
second from whispering, “I love you, Bianca” into his cop’s ear.
By the time he was home, it was very early in the morning, yet Mattie and Ariadne
were still awake, a late night sitcom playing on the TV as Mattie had Ariadne on his
shoulders.
“Jeez Logan, you look like you fell off a building,” Ariadne joked.
“I love her, you guys. And…I think she loves me too,” Logan muttered, falling
onto his bed.
Mattie fell back onto his bed, causing Ariadne to nearly scream, having to go
down with him, just narrowly avoiding hitting her head on the headboard.
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“Why would she think that?” Mattie asked as Ariadne attempted to untangle
them. Logan simply gave the look he hoped was some kind of mental communication.
Mattie’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”
“Completely.”
“You—? You—?”
“Made love with her. Yes.”
Now Ariadne and Mattie had wide eyes. “Did she know it was you?”
Logan nodded. “Told her at the end. She was pretty much asleep though.”
“Logan! …Logan, you idiot! Do you have any idea how much you screwed us
over? She knows where we are. She’s going to have us arrested before you can say ‘Will
you marry me?’”
Logan smirked, toying with a tape. “I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” He
showed his brother the tape.
Mattie’s expression was that of out of this world admiration. “You did not…”
Logan bit his smile away. “Technically, this is a security tape that I found, but it
can go either way…”
“You’re a devil.”
Of course Rose didn’t tell the story the way it really went. No, she simplified it
down from the clean version she knew, saying that her parents met at a masquerade and it
all went uphill from there.
*
*
*
That lunch, Ariadne, once again expecting Sven to be behind her, was wrong yet
again.
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“Hey love,” Corydon said as she registered that he was behind her.
Ariadne caught Elizabeth and Helen exchanging side glances as she turned
around. “Hey Cor.”
They kissed hello and he handed her a takeout bag. “Thought you would want
something nicer and I got off work early today.”
Ariadne raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t get fired, did you?”
He laughed. “Nope, pharmacists are more likely to end up quitting unless they
screw up a prescription. You’re still in the clear.”
She took the bag. “Thanks, hun. Hey, will I see you tonight?”
He smiled. “Monday night date? Alright, but I’ll expect you in bed by ten, young
lady.”
“Pick me up at five.”
They exchanged one last kiss before he walked out. Elizabeth chuckled.
“You don’t seem like the type to date a Canadian pharmacist.”
Ariadne smiled. “He’s technically a Greek pharmacist who started out as a priest,
but yeah. He’s more interesting than his job description.”
Right on schedule, Sven walked in. “Hey Aunt A, did Dionysus get me
something?”
Ariadne crinkled her brow. “Didn’t I pack you a lunch?”
Sven gave her a look. “No?”
Ariadne shrugged and pulled out the pizza he usually ordered. “Lucky you.”
He took the pizza but hesitated in leaving. “Could I talk to you about something?”
Ariadne sighed. “What?”
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He dug his shoe into the floor. “Just…something.”
“Is it life or death?”
“No.”
“Then I think I should treat you like any other student and answer that question at
home. I’m subbing E block so this is my only break and I have work to get done. Please
leave this to later.”
“But—”
“Sven. Out. Please.”
“But Aunt Ariadne—”
“Sven, please. Go hang out with the people—God bless them— who actually
want to spend their time with you. I promise, baby, I’ll talk with you tonight. Okay?”
Sven sighed in defeat and started walking out, but paused. “Every word that she
says is a dagger in me…”
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “Scoot, Éponine!”
With that, Sven was out. Elizabeth gave her a blank look. “Who’s Éponine?”
Ariadne gave a weak smile. “It’s a theatre insult.”
She rolled her eyes. “You and your theatre.”
*
*
*
By the time 4:35 rolled around, Sven finally decided to approach his aunt about
what he planned to talk to her about hours before.
“Aunt Ariadne, is now a good time?” Sven asked as she passed him, having failed
to put a shirt on yet. “Oh Jesus, put a shirt on!”
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So maybe it was his fault for actually going into her bedroom to talk, but he still
didn’t think that was an excuse. She gave him a slightly crazed look.
“I’m supposedly going on a formal yet informal date! What the hell am I
supposed to wear?”
Sven, ignoring the long term of what she said, answered. “Well, unless you’re
going to a strip club, I’d recommend a shirt.”
She disappeared into her closet. “What do you need?”
He jumped onto her bed, causing a few pillows to fly off. “Just to talk.”
She came out with a small pile of shirts. “We can talk when I’m dressed.”
Sven rolled his eyes. “Well, what kind of date is it?”
“Mangiamos and glow-in-the-dark Frisbee.”
Sven gave her a look. “How do you combine a fancy restaurant with Frisbee?”
She shrugged. “I have no idea but it was a suggestion someone gave me and it
sounded fun. Hey, you can find somewhere to be tonight, right?”
His breath caught in his throat. “Wait. I thought you said that we were going to
hang out tonight. I need help with my essay.”
Ariadne snapped her fingers. “Here, how about you go to Rose’s place! She can
help you with your essay and keep you company.”
“But weekdays are the only days I get you to myself. It’s been forever since
we’ve done something together.”
Ariadne finally found a shirt she liked. “Come on, bud! You don’t want to hang
out with me. Consider it a privilege.”
“But I—”
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Ariadne pulled on a pair of shoes. “Sven, I really gotta have you gone tonight and
it would be doing me a huge favor. Please, surely hanging out with your girlfriend isn’t
Chinese torture. I already called Logan and he’s cool with it. I can drop you off now if
you grab your homework.”
Sven wanted, hell, Sven tried to protest, but his aunt would have none of it.
Before he even realized what was happening, he was in the front seat of her car, his
homework in his lap. And, as much as he wanted to talk with her, she wasn’t talking. So,
he retreated into his shell, giving her the silent treatment. As their relationship worked,
that was the moment that Ariadne realized that there was something wrong. For the entire
drive there, Ariadne tried coaxing his negative emotions out of him.
Finally, she gave up, throwing her hands up. “What do you want from me, Sven?
I’m not good at this guessing game. What is the big deal if I have a date tonight?”
Sven glared out at Crowe’s way too well kept house. “I can’t believe that I always
have to explain this to you! Why can’t you actually listen to me for once? You know,
you’ve really started losing your good traits ever since you…”
“Ever since I what?”
“Jesus, why am I even bothering? This should be obvious to you!”
“Well it’s not, so why don’t you just tell me? You know I’ve been telling you for
years that I’m an oblivious bitch. Just tell me.”
He opened the door and shut it with the last words of, “Looks like you finally got
your self description right.”
Once he was at the door, he took a few deep breaths and rang the doorbell, soon
face-to-face with Rose. She gave Sven a kiss on the cheek and waved his aunt off.
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“You okay?” she asked as she ushered him in.
He shrugged. “I’m cool. Are you done with Spanish?”
She smiled. “We’re in different levels, but I’ll help you. Come on, Dorian’s
barbequing with my dad, so we have the house to ourselves. We could just finish our
work and put on a movie if you want.”
Sven swallowed his anger and put on a happy face for Rose, following her up to
her bedroom. There was always something about Rose’s room that Sven liked. Maybe it
was the vibe it gave off, with off white walls, light wood floor, and the solid, geometric
pattern of the dark brown and red-pink of the bed, the dark brown used in her few pieces
of wood furniture and the color in the accent pieces. Overall, it just made it easy to
breathe in, and the view that she had of the backyard and the ocean beyond was
spectacular.
“So, what do you want to start with?” Rose asked as Sven looked out into the
backyard.
Dorian was in the backyard with Mr. Crowe, sitting on the top of dry waterfall
above the pool. Ordinarily, this wouldn’t have been very odd, except Dorian was wearing
such bright white pants that Sven had to squint at them.
“What is Dorian doing?” Sven asked.
Rose joined him and chuckled. “He wants to get into the rich man fashion world.
It’s not working.”
Sven smirked. “Clearly.”
Rose walked onto the balcony with Sven, Mr. Crowe giving them a quick wave as
he dealt with the loss of his cooking partner. For about ten minutes, the two half watched
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Rose’s father make dinner, Rose reading over Sven’s essay. Before either of them
registered that Dorian wasn’t downstairs, he pushed them both out of their seats, seconds
in mid stumble where it felt like they would go over the balcony.
“What the hell, Dorian?” Rose hissed.
He shrugged. “I would’ve preferred if you guys were making out, but it was fun
either way. C’mon, dinner’s ready.”
As Rose and Sven got up to leave, Dorian noted the zip line that stretched from
Rose’s balcony to the pool and thought it a good idea to use it. So, still in his bright white
pants, he grabbed onto the zip line and the two teens watched as he dropped into the pool
with a loud splash and a cry of distress, seeing as the pool was freezing.
“Dammit Dorian! You can’t come into the kitchen soaking wet,” was all the two
caught of Crowe’s reaction.
In the end, the dinner was spent with Dorian eating outside with the fox, the
screen open so he could contribute to conversation if he so pleased. Overall, the problem
laid in the fact that Dorian couldn’t get his pants off and they were too wet for Crowe’s
taste.
“You okay, Sven? You’re not as…you,” Crowe observed.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Long day.”
“Amen.”
Rose gave her father a look. “What did you do all day? You’re retired.”
Crowe glanced outside. “Spending four hours straight with Aussie takes a lot
outta ya.”
*
*
*
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After dinner, Rose and Sven ended up back in their room, Rose a bit more aware
of Sven’s mood. Her father had been right about him not being himself but she had the
feeling that it wasn’t just a long day that caused it.
“Did something go down between your aunt and you?” Rose asked.
Sven took a silent breath and did what he vowed he’d never do: use his acting for
deception. “Naw, we’re cool.” What would be a natural change in speed? “Yeah, she’s
actually really supporting the voice lessons.”
Rose smiled. “How are they going?”
He returned the smile. “Great. I can really see the difference between before them
continuously and now. I think I’ll be able to give fullness to songs in a few years.”
“Your teacher thinking Broadway/West End material?”
He shrugged. “We are referred to up and coming, so I’d imagine so.”
“I’d love to hear a few bars.”
A thought suddenly occurred to Sven. Or maybe thought wasn’t the right word.
No, it was more like a desire. Out of nowhere, he wanted to impress Rose, wanted to
sweep her off her feet. And, to make it better, he knew that he’d be able to do it. He got
up from his spot on her chair and got down in front of her as she laid on her bed, taking
her hands in his.
“In my life, she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun. And my life
seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely begun. Thanks to you, I
am one with the gods and heaven is near. And I soar through a world that is new that is
free…” He leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “In my life, there is someone who
touches my life. Waiting near, waiting here. A heart full of love.” His lips brushed hers.
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Her gaze was that of admiration and desire. “You’re amazing, Sven Evans. Never
forget that.”
He smiled shyly. “It’s only for you.”
Before he knew it, they were kissing, just as in his plan. So did it make him bad
for the manipulation? He didn’t think so; it wasn’t like he didn’t mean what he said. Her
appearance in his life truly had opened him to a whole other world.
Yet, as she showered him in affection, he couldn’t help feeling guilty.
In the end, he would’ve accepted the same affection and care from his aunt.
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Chapter 6
Soliloquy
“Alone, I wait in the shadows. I count the hours til I can sleep. I dreamed a dream
Cosette stood by, it made her weep to know I die.”
Alone, Ariadne was the early morning hours, lying in bed, unable to think about
getting up to do the mundane tasks of getting ready for a Tuesday.
“Alone, at the end of the day. Upon this wedding night I pray, take these children,
my lord. To thy embrace and show them grace.”
What had happened that night? It felt as if the entire night went perfectly. She was
smiling and laughing the entire time, as was him. They’d been able to joke around and
play, have an intimate conversation that lasted hours, and gotten so impassioned that they
had to stop abruptly. Corydon had talked of the time they first met, about how kind and
lively he had viewed her as. She spoke of his compassion, and she’d made him blush.
They somehow managed to make Jesus and moose jokes.
She loved him. Finally, she knew that she loved him.
“God up high, hear my prayer. Take me now, to thy care. Where you are, let me
be. Take me now, take me there. Bring me home. Bring me home.”
How could the fact that she loved him scare her so much? Was it the thought of
marriage? Of kids? Of time that was swiftly running out? Now that they loved each other,
did that mean that they would get married? What if she wasn’t good enough for
marriage? What if she was meant to always live with an engagement ring of a dead
fiancé? Was that the closest to eternal happiness that she’d ever achieve? So what did that
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leave her left in her life? Sven was going to college and out of her life in only three years.
Once he was gone, there was no way that he’d ever come back.
“Monsieur, I bless your name.”
“I am ready, Fantine.”
“Monsieur, lay down your burden.”
“At the end of my days.”
“You’ve raised my child in love.”
“She’s the best of my life.”
“And you shall be with God.”
Would Sven leave her and she’d end up alone and depressed again? Honestly, all
reality spread out in front of her, what would fill the void of emptiness without Sven if
Corydon didn’t propose?
But…what if he did?
He would want children. There was no denial in that fact. He left priesthood in
order to have a family. Family meant children. Family meant finally consummating their
relationship…for the task of children. What had been just casual sex for fifteen years
would suddenly have purpose. She’d change because of it. She’d have to be pregnant and
give birth to a child. Raise a child. Love a child.
“Come with me, where chains will never bind you. All your grief, at last, at last
behind you. Lord in Heaven, look down on him in mercy.”
Time was running out. She was thirty-three. It was only safe to have children at
thirty-four at latest. She didn’t want any complications. She didn’t want to fear for her
life. She didn’t want the child to have to have developmental problems because she
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wasn’t young—good enough. But…did she want children? If she didn’t want children,
then it didn’t matter when Corydon proposed, if he did. If they planned to have children,
then they only had a year to get married.
“Forgive me all my trespasses and take me to your glory.”
How could she just know if she wanted children or not? All her life, the answer
had been a simple no. How could it suddenly be different? The idea scared her, hell,
terrified her, that she didn’t know. Why was she worrying herself sick over something
that she didn’t even want for her entire life? Why was it that her time to make the
decision was suddenly limited? Why was it all so dependant on Corydon?
She had to break it down. In simplest form, what was she asking herself? One
sentence…
“Take my hand, I lead you to salvation. Take my love, for love is everlasting. And
remember, the truth that once was spoken. To love another person is to see the face of
God…”
Did she want to have a child with Corydon within the next year?
At that moment, she finally swept away the tears that had fallen down her face.
Whether they were from her soliloquy or from ‘Valjean’s Death’ playing on repeat in the
background suddenly didn’t matter. She moved slightly, but only to change the song.
“Cosette, it’s turned so cold. Cosette, it’s past your bedtime. You’ve played the
day away and soon it will be night.”
Sven tentatively opened the bedroom door, his expression changing from
concerned to almost casual.
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“Great, ‘Fantine’s Death’ is playing, which only means that you’re in one of your
period funks. Do you want me to call you in sick?”
Ariadne sat up and gave her nephew a somber look. “No, I’m not actually. Look,
just give me a few minutes to get my bearings. I’ll be in the car at seven-thirty.”
After a little bit, Sven nodded and left Ariadne to her peace.
“For God’s sake, please stay til I am sleeping and tell Cosette I love her and I’ll
see her when I wake…”
She sighed and pulled herself out of bed and into the shower. Just as she
promised, she was ready in the car by seven-thirty, Sven a few seconds behind her,
confusedly taking the driver’s seat.
“You want me to drive? You said I was a bad driver in the morning,” Sven
confirmed.
“Considering I am ‘in one of my period funks,’ I didn’t think you’d want me to
drive.”
Sven gave her a confused look. “I thought you weren’t?”
“I’m not, but I still wouldn’t call myself mentally stable.”
Sven wanted to pursue the issue, but figured driving to school was a bit more
important. Plus, bothering his aunt wasn’t the way to get information; it was the way to
get snapped at. God, Sven thought, I could really use it being Surprise Carnival Day.
“Sven, do you think I should have children?” Ariadne asked when they were
nearly there.
He resisted turning to her, to make sure she was still sane. “Umm, I don’t know. I
thought you hated kids.”
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She looked out the window. “I still do…I just think that…maybe I wouldn’t hate
my kids.”
Sven raised an eyebrow. “I hope you wouldn’t hate your own kid. Why such a
rush all of the sudden?”
She bit her lip. “I’m thirty-three. I don’t have that many years left.”
“Can’t women have kids into their forties?”
“Well, yeah, technically, but…eggs get old and…I just don’t want to deal with all
the complications of old eggs and getting pregnant and then being too tired to play with
my kid. You can’t reverse aging, even if you can get a woman pregnant. And either way
the Catholic Church and Ariadne Evans are not for in-vitro. In other words, I have until
I’m thirty-five to have already given birth to a child meaning at latest I have to get
pregnant in December.”
Sven crinkled his brow. “Umm, I’m not that good at math either, but don’t you
have until December of next year?”
“That’s what I….meant. But anyway, that’s a lot of pressure and I don’t even
know if I want children. What do you think? Would you want another cousin? You could
be the godfather and play Godfather jokes on the kid and dress it up as a cat or
something.”
Sven parked the car and took all steps to make sure it was turned off before
sighing. “Look, I just want you to be happy. Sure, I wouldn’t mind another cousin, but,
y’know, it’s kind of lost its luster after cousin number nine, and the fact that I’m sure
Uncle Hector is gonna adopt a flock of foreign children, Uncle Jacob isn’t done with
kids, it’s just…you know. Sure, go have a kid with Corydon. Whatever.”
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Ariadne gave him a concerned look. “You don’t care? Sven, it’s not like you not
to be opinionated.”
“I have an appointment to meet with Mr. Welsh about the test on Friday. I’ll talk
to you later.”
With that, Sven tossed Ariadne the car keys, grabbed his backpack, and
disappeared into the school. Ariadne sighed again, pulled herself out of the car, and spent
the chunk of time between then and morning meeting writing report card comments and
helping out the occasional student with an essay she’d assigned.
*
*
*
“Miss Evans?”
Ariadne jerked up; she’d blanked out again. Recent memory floated back to her;
she was in F block English 9. “Yeah?”
The kid who’d asked was usually hyperactive from a steady diet of sodas and
candy that he “forgot to eat outside.” Name: Joe. “Are you okay?” The other kids seemed
to have a similar level of concern.
She ran her hand through her hair. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just some personal things
right now. Life decisions type stuff. Y’know what, let’s nix today’s lesson plans. We
know who Bob Ewell is, right?” Some of the kids nodded, a reasonable amount for
Ariadne. “Let’s just say that he’s an inebriate bastard.” She wrote INEBRIATE –
DRUNKARD
on the board. “There’s your daily vocab and today’s lesson. Look guys, I’m
just low today. I have a Playstation somewhere around here but I kind of messed with my
Guitar Hero so now it only has Green Day and Avenged Sevenfold. Do you guys want to
do that instead?”
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All the kids nodded, despite her knowing that a few of the kids had no idea who
either of the bands she’d mentioned were. She tried a smile while the kids watched her
easily plug the Playstation into the projector and have it up and running in a few minutes.
One of the boys ran for the guitars and was forced to hand the other off to one of the girls
and they started playing an old Avenged Sevenfold song.
It was a long block, so they resorted to YouTube surfing for the second half of the
class. After watching several stand up videos, a spark of something hit Ariadne. She
smiled and typed in WE’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING – INFANT SORROW.
“This isn’t exactly appropriate, but I know that at least one of you guys watches
porn, so it’s okay.”
One of the girls laughed. “God Miss Evans, I love your logic trail.”
“My logic trail is adaptation to living with people who think that just because he
puts stuffed bears along the headboard of a bed means that he can put me on his
shoulders and fall back onto the bed even after the bears fall off, thus leaving his
girlfriend one inch of breathing room from getting her head split open in the middle of
Turkey.”
Joe laughed. “That happen to you, Miss Evans?”
She smiled. “God bless him.”
“Hey! Keep it secular.”
Ariadne gave him a look. “I find it racist that we can’t mention our religions. It’s
like not being able to show our skin tone or sexuality. Me personally, I’m cool with
atheists and believers. No difference. And Joe, don’t be joking with me about that Turkey
thing because it really happened I really almost died.”
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He smirked. “Fun party?”
“Joe, you don’t and won’t know a good party if it ran over you with a steam
roller. Talk to me when you’re twenty-one and have gone to a party with strippers.”
*
*
*
Several hours later, Ariadne had Crowe over, Sven actually willingly going over
to the Crowes’ house with Devon, one of friends he made from the Paris trip, in tow.
“Now, don’t think that I don’t love hanging out with you, but um, why am I
here?” Crowe asked.
“Logan, how did you decide to have kids?”
Crowe was honestly surprised to hear Ariadne ask that question with such
seriousness. “Well, it kind of came from when Bianca married me. I wanted to get as
close to her as I possibly could and I knew that children were the ultimate connection
with two people who love each other. And well, after it took so long to get her pregnant,
and with Rose surviving after being premature, Rosie and I just shared the connection.
And now…well with Bianca being gone and all, I think that our connection’s maybe
gotten a little stronger. We don’t show it, but I think we do. Why you ask?”
She took a deep breath. “Corydon told me on Sunday that he loved me. I realized
last night that I loved him back. And…well, when two adults love each other, they get
married, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“And most couples get married and have kids, right?”
“Well…”
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“But, you know what I mean. Corydon left priesthood, and I know he left because
he wanted to start a family with me. But, Crowe, just God, I don’t know if I want to have
a kid, I don’t know if I could handle having a kid…”
He furrowed his brow. “Did Corydon ever talk to you about children?”
“No. I mean, we haven’t even had sex yet. Why would we?”
“Well first I’m going to ignore that you’re still abstinent with him, and next…well
Arr, if you never wanted to have children through adulthood, then maybe you just
shouldn’t. What are you worried about right now? Are you scared that Corydon will
propose to you and you’ll have to choose between a life without children and a life with
him? Never let a man pressure you into anything.”
“But Logan…what if I want a child? What if I always wanted a child?”
He gave her a look. “Says the pedophobic?”
“I hate little kids, but that’s when it’s millions of them all running toward me! I
don’t think I’d mind just one.”
Crowe frowned. “I’d prefer to leave this house knowing that you have the purest,
motherly intentions in having children. They aren’t dress up dolls or an anchor to help
marriages along. They’re hours of incessant screaming, of getting vomited on, of
tantrums, of long talks on everything you have yet to accomplish in terms of character
traits, and…well, I mean—”
“I’ve dealt with all that with Sven. I still don’t regret taking him in.”
Crowe nodded. “I know, but that was a seven-year-old. You never had to fear that
he’d fall into the pool and drown or know that he was on the right track for speaking or
any of that. I admit, you’ve been a good mother to Sven, but are you ready to have one
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kid that you can never give back? One kid who you are going to spend every waking
minute with lest they hate you for neglecting them? Deal with the nights when your
husband won’t get the baby a bottle and you have to sacrifice your twenty minutes of
sleep to feed it.”
Ariadne raised an eyebrow. “You sure sound like you love parenting.”
“I know, and yes, Ariadne, I will admit that looking into your baby’s face when
they’re born and realizing that you created it will bring you to joyous tears and I will
admit that I’d trade nothing for those moments when Rose was just a few weeks old and
sleeping on my chest. I admit that I’ve never been prouder of anything more than when I
picked her up from her first day of preschool and she was laughing and barely walked
into my arms, or when she got into elementary school and told me about how much her
teachers loved her, or when she’d give me pictures, or any of that. I admit, children are a
blessing, but they’re not for everyone. Think about the pros and cons.”
“What pros and cons? I mean, look Logan, I know they exist, but highlight them
for me.”
Crowe pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. “Let’s start with the pros. So you get
everlasting love. You please your husband. You have someone to take care of you when
you develop dementia.” Ariadne glared at him for that one. “You have someone to watch
all those old cartoons with and play with. You have someone to teach you lessons you
can’t learn without children. You have someone who’ll always guarantee you a smile on
your bad days. You have the slight chance of being the mother of the guy who cures
cancer.”
88
He made another column and began the cons. “You lose your free time. You have
to go through pregnancy, which means massive mood swings, morning sickness, and
overall discomfort. You’ll gain weight and have stretch marks.”
“Okay, cosmetics can all be bundled into one!”
Crowe smirked for a second. “You have another living being to take care of, and I
mean 24-7 take care of. It could put a strain on the marriage you’re trying to achieve.
When they’re older, it’s a lot harder to have sex every night. That kid will look up to you,
and you gotta be a good role model. You have to spend thousands of dollars on them.
You have to always be looking out for your kid and offer them an answer to everything.
You have to keep your kid safe. Your job will have to be cut a bit to make time for the
baby until it’s old enough for school. You have to deal with annoying assed parents. You
have to be able to send your kid to college. You will feel older quicker with a kid.”
Ariadne blinked, pretty much having lost him a while back. “Um, what?”
Crowe set down the notebook. “It’s still your choice, Ari, but it’s stacking against
you unless you really want a child.”
Ariadne felt a lump rise in her throat, although she couldn’t tell why. “How do I
know, Logan? How do I know if I really want it?”
Crowe took a deep breath. “Ariadne, just trust me. You’ll know. You’ll wake up
one day and feel the hole in your life. You’ll realize that you need to take care of
something, and you need something to love you unconditionally. If that happens, then
have a kid. Until then, tell Corydon that you’re still unsure of having a family. If that
breaks the deal, then let it be. Go find a guy who’ll go traveling and adventuring with you
instead. Just don’t rush into it.”
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“But I’m thirty-three. If I want a kid, I better decide soon.”
Crowe shrugged. “A short amount of time can seem very long if you relax.
Honest to God, Ariadne. Go have fun with Corydon, have fun dating him, being
newlyweds if that’s where it goes. Enjoy every moment.”
It dawned on Ariadne how powerful that last sentence was for Logan. She hugged
him. “Did you enjoy every moment?”
He sighed. “I did, but I should’ve enjoyed them more. God Ariadne, I miss her so
much. It’s like…some days it’s so easy, and you think that maybe you’re getting better
then, just out of nowhere, it comes back and knocks the wind out of you. You realize that
you’re not fine, that you’re not over it. I’m trying so hard to make a good life for Rose, I
really am. But it’s just so hard, Ari. God, it’s just so hard…”
“You’re doing well, Logan. That’s all that matters.”
After they separated, a few quiet moments passed.
“You know what,” Ariadne said, getting her bounce back. “You’re right. I don’t
need a baby. I don’t need children to complete my life. I already have Sven and I’m sure
my siblings will all have babies popping out until Sven has kids. I don’t want to have to
lose thirty pounds after nine months of hell. You’re right.”
Crowe smiled. “I’m glad you came to your senses. Besides, you’re an emotional
wreck without being pregnant.” Ariadne responded to Crowe’s comment with a cold
glare. “You just told me that you spent two hours crying in bed with melodramatic
tragedy opera playing the background on repeat all because you couldn’t decide if you
want to make babies with your boyfriend.”
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“Well when you say it that way…” She leaned back. “Logan? Do you think I’m a
good parent to Sven?”
He pursed his lips. “Well you didn’t teach him the proper terms for car
controls…”
“Hey! Whoa there, tiger! I taught him the ghetto speak way.” He gave her a look.
“Don’t look at me like that. You know that all those driving instructors are black. It’s the
way they speak and you can fail the DMV test without leaving the parking lot if you
don’t answer those light questions right. And, don’t give me that shit. I used perfectly
normal language.”
“You called his hazard light a flasher.”
“Because in Alabama we called it that!”
“ ‘Oh Toto, I don’t think we’re in Alabama anymore…’”
“Don’t give me that. Do. Not. Flasher is perfectly normal in California. Also, for
the record, hazard light? People don’t use their hazard lights in hazardous situations! I
mean, sure, if a rhino shows up in the middle of the street, yeah, that’s a hazard…but a
squirrel? Let me tell you, I will run over any squirrel who gives me the opportunity.”
“You hate squirrels?”
“I have no desire to befriend squirrels after Jacob brought home a rack of them in
this fucking dead squirrel shish kabob thing and everyone is just chill with all this. I
swear to God Logan, it was worse than when Jacob showed off his junk after Hector stole
his towel and threw it into the Dumpster so he feels a need to run around the house
naked.”
“Little kids do things like that.”
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Ariadne gave him a straight face. “The last time that happened, he was
seventeen.”
Crowe made an awkward face. “Every day, I ask myself why you’re so screwed
up, then you tell me stories like this, and I feel like I’m getting closer to having an
epiphany.”
*
*
*
Now, Dorian would certainly call himself an odd seed, but there was something
about the Americans he found himself associating with that almost made him feel
ordinary. He didn’t think it was Rose or Sven, so that left the smiley Middle Eastern kid
they’d thrown in the front seat, him and Rose sort of awkwardly in the back as they drove
back from an ice cream place.
“Will someone please explain what we’re listening to?” Dorian piped up after two
minutes of a strange, sort of techno rock song that sang about “making it hurt” with “my
hand up your skirt.”
“C’mon Aussie, you have to know Mindless Self Indulgence!” Devon said.
Dorian looked to Rose, who appeared just as confused and awkward as he was.
“Think about it this way,” Sven offered, “at least we’re not listening to my aunt
and all her sexual pop parodies.”
Devon sighed happily. “Oh Paris and your aunt’s movie playlist.”
“You got to me. Woman, you’re so tight I’m gonna fuck you so deep I’ll give you a
lobotomy. I’m a zombie, you dug me from your grave. You took me out of Africa and
made me your slave. You’re too tight, like a wet vice. Your pussy is a crucifix, my cock is
like Christ. Jackie Q, she’s gifted with my implement. She blows my golden balls. When
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she’s strumming this instrument, check it,” Devon and Sven rapped together, getting way
into it with gesticulations.
Dorian leaned into Rose. “Your friends are scaring me.”
“It’s from a movie.”
“Don’t matter. They’re still scaring me.”
Rose kicked the driver’s seat, causing Sven to stop laughing. “Hey! No harassing
the driver!”
Dorian smirked. “Since it seems you boys are so in with the perverted songs,
would one of you give me a preview of the song Miss Evans told me to use for creative
writing? She recommended ‘A Little Piece of Heaven.’”
Sven smirked. “Great song. Kind of a metal Broadway song. Halloween-esque yet
humorous. Good pick.”
“Yeah…what’s necrophilia?”
Sven and Devon burst out laughing, and Rose gave the answer. “Being sexually
attracted to a corpse.”
He muttered “ohhh” under his breath and looked to Rose in slight horror. “Will
my teacher get mad at me for that?”
Rose shrugged. “You could say that Ariadne recommended it. Those two are
friends.”
“And if you’re wondering about my aunt’s sanity, please note that she taught us
about morphemes by using the suffix –philia. Yup, we got to learn about pedophilia and
necrophilia that day.”
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Devon scratched his eye, as if to seem uncaring. “As well as her telling us that
when she died that she thinks that Jesus will award her the job of demon hunter.”
Sven nodded. “Yeah…I don’t know if she still thinks that…”
Sven dropped Devon off at his place and took the rest of them back to their house,
where he stayed.
“So Devon…interesting kid?” Dorian said, trying to contain his laughter.
“A bit oversimplified, but yes,” Rose answered.
Dorian leaned into the couch, petting Demetri. “I think I like America, but there’s
something about me that I have yet to reveal to our school.”
“What?” Rose asked, pulling Demetri away from Dorian after he growled.
“Well, y’see, I sort of enjoy watching the human condition. I particularly find the
actions of sluts to be fascinating. I like to know why they do it, if they find it offense or if
it’s some feminist thing or whatever. And, well, judging by you and your morals, you
aren’t the one to watch. So, I’m going to get into Bella Ianov’s designer pants before
second trimester starts.”
Sven and Rose exchanged worried glances. “Bro, she’s kind of with Dylan right
now. Not a good idea,” Sven said.
“Besides, why would she sleep with you? You’re an exchanged student,” Rose
added.
Dorian nodded. “Exchanged? Yes. Sexy Australian? Yes. I see no issues.”
Rose crossed her arms. “You planning on bringing her home? Dad only allows
Sven in here because he wears a purity ring.”
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Dorian shrugged. “We can work at her house. Look, I just want to dig into her
mind. Y’know, maybe she’ll make me her boyfriend after we sleep together, but that’s
that.” He shrugged. “I just want to try it.”
“And what about Dylan?” Sven repeated.
Dorian waved dismissively. “Guy’s a tool. No issues with him either.”
Rose and Sven felt instantly uncomfortable, Rose because of her recent
friendship-in-progress with Bella and Sven just because he’d become so accustomed to
Bella and Dylan that breaking them up would just feel wrong.
“Um, I’m gonna go grab the car catalogs that you wanted,” Rose said to Sven,
quickly running up to the calm of her dad’s office.
Her father had always had very simple taste: geometric shaped furniture, neutral
colors with the occasional splash of color, and everything perfectly organized. Rose
found comfort in his immaculate office space; the only time he’d been disorganized had
been when Rose’s mother died. She took it as a sign of his healing. Quickly, she located
one of the many luxury and sports car catalogs he kept. However, something else caught
her eye: a small note lying next to her father’s computer. She picked it up and scanned it.
Hayden Barro
Monkey statue w/ rubies
Stolen by new criminals
Reward if found
Address of keeper: 15732 Kelsey St., Studio City, CA
Caution? Known to keep weapons (well no duh Luke)
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As Rose read and reread the note, an odd sense washed over her, an
almost…desire to read further into this case. To know who Hayden Barro was, whose
ruby infested statue was stolen, who these new criminals were, and who lived in the
house in Studio City. Eventually, she came to her senses, gave the note one last glance,
and ran back downstairs.
“Sven! You won’t believe what I found!”
In that moment, mere seconds too late, Rose realized that she screwed up. No, she
royally fucked up. For, as soon as she said those six words, she knew that she had not
only Sven’s undying attention, but Dorian’s as well. Dorian—that kid from Australia
whom her father said specifically could never learn about their criminal past. Dorian—
the kid who now would stop at nothing until he uncovered that criminal past.
“What didja find?” Sven asked.
In a split second decision, Rose decided to keep going down the path she’d
accidentally carved out for herself. “Guess who my dad got a call from a some time
ago?”
“Who?”
“Stanley Luke. That guy your aunt keeps calling a fatass sex offender.”
Sven grinned from the memories. “What did he say?”
Was there a chance at salvation? What if Dorian didn’t even understand what she
and Sven discussed? God, she knew it was wrong, but she knew that she really didn’t
have any choice. “Some small timers nabbed a ruby statue from one of their mutual
friends I’m guessing and Luke left an address of the current owner.”
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Sven shook his head. “Wait, wait. Stop.” He started almost laughing. “You’re
telling me that your dad got offered a job and declined?”
“I don’t know if he declined. I mean, if he never told us about it, I imagine he
declined.”
Sven smiled again, this time with a mischievous look in his grey eyes. “Your
dad’s phone up there?” Rose nodded. “Call Luke. Ask him.”
Rose gave him an incredulous look. “Why would Luke tell the daughter of one of
his friends that kind of information? It’s confidential.”
Sven rolled his eyes. “He’s an idiot. Let’s just try.”
Rose shook her head. “I can’t get on my dad’s bad side. He’s still really fragile
right now, and I can’t cause him that pain. You have to understand…”
Sven put a hand on his girlfriend’s shoulder. “Trust me. It’ll be fine.”
“Um, yeah, excuse me here mates, but what the hell are you guys talking about?”
Dorian jumped in.
Sven and Rose exchanged a look, a look that spoke what they needed to say. Yes,
we will tell Dorian.
So, that’s what they did. Rose told him about how her father had to resort to
stealing in order to compensate for a life in foster care after an infamous killer murdered
his parents. She named his profession slowly and repeatedly, making sure that Dorian got
it. Yes, she was the daughter of a former thief. By the end, Dorian’s expression was
somehow blank and skeptical at the same time.
“I’m gonna say it honestly. I don’t believe you guys.”
“Why not?” Sven pressed.
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He stayed silent, pondering. “Here’s what I do believe: I do believe that your aunt
is an evil genius. I don’t believe that Rose’s father is a Parkour master. I don’t believe
that you two have any of those capabilities that you mentioned.”
Sven raised an eyebrow. “Well then, I suppose we can just ignore you while we
press a case.”
Sven nudged Rose toward her father’s office and they left Dorian standing alone
downstairs. By the time Sven was dialing Stanley Luke’s number, Dorian was standing
with them.
“Crowe? Oh Jesus Crowe, please tell me you’re reconsidering my offer,” came
Luke’s voice after at least four rings.
That was all Rose and Sven needed. They hung up the phone and stared at each
other for what felt like hours. Yes, her father had turned down a job. Yes, this job was
something that Stanley Luke had made official. And yes, Sven and Rose were both
thinking along the same lines of curiosity regarding the case.
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Chapter 7
Excuses, Excuses
“So how did driving class go?” Ariadne asked her nephew as he walked through
the door after school on Wednesday.
“How dare those driving instructors tell me that I don’t have a sense of the size of
my car! Oh, I don’t know, maybe I don’t know the size of the car because it’s not my
car!”
Ariadne raised an eyebrow. “What crapmobile do they have you driving?”
“Some Toyota.”
Ariadne gave him a look. “You learned to drive in a Toyota.”
“So? It was their sucky car. If I was in the Jaguar, I would’ve been fine. Besides,
it’s not like I even hit the curb once! I bet I’m a better driver blindfolded then they are.”
Ariadne turned on the oven. “Sven, they’ve got years on you. Don’t bash them.”
“What does years mean if they don’t accomplish anything? I’ve spent nearly two
years driving and my skills and calm are superior. They’re all just conceited assholes.”
Ariadne made a tsk-tsk sound. “Sven, honestly, you’re sounding like a PMSing
teenage girl. Chill.”
He gave her a look. “And you’re speaking about PMSing why?”
She gave a quick smile. “This week is my happy go-lucky week. Plus, Logan has
cleared my head of having children, so I’m back to my chipper self. It’s amazing how
clear that man can make life. Said that if I ever got pregnant that I’d kill my husband.
Now I think that’s a bit of a cruel exaggeration, but hey, it’s Logan Crowe. Besides, I
finally figured out how to make breaded chicken healthy!”
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Sven blinked. “Um…that’s great? Did you…um, get me a new geography
textbook?”
Ariadne stopped her breading chicken process. “Um…why?”
He wanted to give her the look of idiots, but resisted. “After it got dropped in the
sink, I lost the entire chapter on Russia.”
Ariadne’s expression suddenly turned to one of contempt. “Damn Russians…”
Sven raised an eyebrow. “You a Russian hater?”
She returned to cooking. “No. Just certain Russians and their vodka drinks.”
Sven, suddenly distracted from driving class, grabbed a stool and watched his
aunt work. “So…okay now I’m curious. Russians and vodka? I thought you wanted to
drink vodka from the streets of Moscow.”
She shook her head. “Okay, so I was in my early twenties and at this club. I was
just sitting there all innocent and this really cute guy comes up to me and offers to buy
me a vodka shot. Naturally, he’s hot, he’s into me, and my only goal that point in my life
was to get some. So, I let him buy me a shot and I get pretty loose and I accept an offer to
go back to his place, which was only a walk from the club. So he brings me back to his
apartment and offers me this hangover cure that everyone in his family uses. So I watch
him as he takes out a bottle of Grey Goose and pours it in a glass, then freaking adds milk
to it. Milk. Let me tell you now that creamy drinks are normally very bad with vodka, and
I knew this back then. I say no, but he insists. So, whatever, I decide to take a sip. And, lo
and behold, I take that sip and it’s like some auto-fucking-matic reaction that it comes
right back up and I pretty much vomit in my hands.
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He thinks I’m adorable and then he tells me that he’s Russian so I tell him that
I’m Greek and that I well, don’t usually drink vodka milk. So whatever, but then the
asshole calls me a pussy unless I drink an entire drink of it, and so whatever, I drink it.
God knows how, but I choke it down and he rewards me by bringing his roommate into
the fiasco and his roommate encourages me to take another vodka milk shot. So I get that
down too, and then we…we…played checkers together.” Sven gave her a look. “But
yeah, so I wake up the next morning in my house—with newly carpeted floors, I may
add—and, what do ya know? Oh, that’s right, I’m partially lactose intolerant and then I
start puking. I tell ya, Sven. That was the only time I ever missed my job because of a
hangover. And I blame those Russians every time.”
Sven studied her for a few moments. “Wait. So you’re saying that you were
obsessed with coconut milk not because Dr. Oz or whoever said to, but because you were
lactose intolerant?”
She gave him a dirty look. “Oh look who decided to start paying attention. Why
else would I refuse to get ice cream?”
He crossed his arms. “It’s not like you’re so observant.”
She smiled. “I know all your health conditions and allergies.”
“I’m not allergic to anything.” An awkward silence came over the room. Sven
ended it after about a minute. “Wait…so how long have you been lactose intolerant?”
She shrugged. “I blame Mom’s cooking.”
*
*
*
Despite all protests made by Rose and Sven, there was no stopping Dorian. As
soon as Bella Ianov walked through the front doors, he was there to greet her.
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“Hey Bella,” he said, catching walking pace with her. “Could you explain what
our assignment was for writing?”
Bella smiled weakly. “I’m not the person to ask. Go ask Rose or something.”
Dorian shrugged. “I would, but Rose’s busy with something. Besides, you’re a bit
more fun to talk to.”
Bella blushed. “You’re sweet, Dorian.” She bent down and opened her locker,
numerous pictures of actors plastered to the door. “But there’s not a single subject that
I’m excelling at.”
Dorian smiled. “I’m always up for a tutoring job. I got into this school on grades.”
She pulled a few binders out of her locker. “I would, but I’m just not sure if I’m
up for that right now. Too much time is already lost with Dylan in cross country and all.
But hey, I’ll keep you on the list.”
Dorian cursed under his breath as Bella walked out of his grasp. For a few
seconds, he considered his option. Thanks to the idiot who invented block scheduling, he
didn’t have his only class with Bella that day, so he had three more opportunities to talk
with her. If his goal was Friday, he’d have to pick up the pace.
“Hey Bella!” he called, completely ignoring the social ladder that Rose and Sven
and put down. She turned away from Dylan to answer him. “I’m serious about that
tutoring! I’m sure there’s a hellvua lot of stuff you’d, uh, enjoy exploring with me.” He
winked.
Rose and Sven watched from the sidelines with the rest of the hundred or so kids
who just happened to be in the hallway all this was occurring in.
“Shit, the guy doesn’t listen well, does he?” Sven whispered in Rose’s ear.
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Dylan wasn’t exactly the tallest guy on earth, but he worked out, and he was
wearing a t-shirt that day, showing off his arm muscles.
“What did you say, Aussie?” he said in a warning tone.
Dorian made an unimpressed noise. “That’s all you got? I’d get into a muscle
fight with you any day. Just cause you have em doesn’t mean you know how to use em.”
Dorian laughed to himself. “Actually mate, I’d get that tattooed on your forehead
considering we can apply it to at least two things.”
Dylan walked up to Dorian and put his wrist in a tight grip, tight enough that he
would’ve made a sound if not for impressing Bella.
“This feel nice, smartass?” Dylan whispered to Dorian.
When Dorian nodded his head, Dylan began twisting his wrist. Now, Dorian
would’ve kept going, but somehow, his host father’s words about stirring trouble started
playing in his head. He glanced around at the crowd he and Dylan had stirred and spotted
Rose’s worried blue eyes in the audience. Fighting like a barbarian for Bella’s affection
was not the proper route to take. He muttered an apology to Dylan and jerked his aching
wrist away.
Once Dorian knew that Dylan had gone off to cross country practice, he
approached Bella.
“Hey. Look, I’m sorry about this morning.” He made himself comfortable on the
couch Bella was texting someone on. “You know you’re dating an asshole, right?”
Bella looked up, no signs of defense in her expression. “We’ve been dating since
eighth grade…”
Dorian raised his eyebrows. “Two years? Jesus.”
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“Yeah. Dorian, I—I appreciate your efforts and how ballsy you are, but Dylan and
I are going to be together for a while. He’ll never break up with me. I mean, he might
seem like an asshole, but he loves me.”
Dorian snorted. “We’re fifteen. Yeah, he really loves you.”
Bella focused back down on her phone. “You don’t know him. Hell, I know you
don’t know him! This is your second week here and all you’ve done is hang out with
Rose and Sven.”
Dorian quirked his eyebrows. “I swear, I’m almost convinced those two are way
more badass than anyone takes them for.”
Bella put down her phone. “You’re living with Rose, right?” He nodded. “When
we were in Paris, I woke up one night and she dragged me along to this hole in the
basement of our apartment and we walked through old tunnels for hours at midnight! I
swear to God, I haven’t told anyone cause I know no one would believe me.”
It suddenly occurred to Dorian just how much that made sense into the story those
two had told him the night before. Hadn’t she mentioned some ease with urban
exploration? Okay, so Paris catacombs weren’t ‘urban,’ but it was still gutsy… Jesus, did
that make everything they said true? No, that wasn’t possible. That just wasn’t possible.
“Dorian?”
He shook his head and looked back up at Bella, realizing that she wanted an
answer. “Yes, I believe you.”
Bella smiled, triumph written clearly into her features. “Any theories?”
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Theories? Hell, he had answers, but he recalled how they were determined for it
to be a secret. Would he love to tell Bella how the school DILF was an infamous
criminal? Yes. Did he know that Rose would kill him if he did? Hell yes.
He shrugged. “She’s just badass. Dunno, maybe she just didn’t have enough
opportunity to tell.” He smiled. “Hey, if you’re friends with Rose, why don’t you know?”
“We’re not great friends. Just…I don’t know, I’ve been to her house and it’s
really awesome and her dad is…well he’s a lot less animated then I took a guy like him to
be like, and we just do typical stuff.” She paused, thinking. “Y’know…maybe I should
try to hang out with her this Friday. What do you think?”
Friday? Rose’s house? Me there? Hell yes. “Sounds good. And speak of the
devil…”
Rose walked up to Dorian and gave him a joking dirty look when she caught his
comment. “Okay Dorian, Sven just left with Miss Evans, and if the teachers are leaving,
it means we should too. C’mon, you can talk to Bella tomorrow.”
Dorian got up and started walking with Rose, but Bella stopped them.
“Hey Rose, do you wanna hang out on Friday?”
Rose considered it. “Sure.”
“Alright, great. See you guys tomorrow.”
*
*
*
Over the next few days, Dorian took every opportunity he could to talk to Bella,
with success for the most part. Occasionally, he would have to leave before Dylan
showed up, but he dealt with whatever blows came his way. Still, Rose and Sven looked
at him in doubt, but he was kind of doing the same thing with their story.
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Nonetheless, Bella did end up coming home with Rose and Dorian that Friday. As
usual, the exchange between Crowe and Bella was just a bit awkward.
“Hi Mr. Crowe,” Bella said, sort of staring at him.
“Um, hey. You’re…Bella, right? The girl Rose met on the Paris trip?” he said,
trying to decide between walking quickly out of the room to make a phone call or half
attempt to be friendly.
Bella smiled. “Yeah, that’s me. Your apartment is really nice.”
Apartment? Then Crowe remembered how Ariadne had probably blabbed about
the apartment they stayed in in Paris being his. He smiled. “Thanks. Basically, I’m just
going to be around the house tonight and mi casa es su casa and all that junk. Oh, and
Rose? Crazy basically invited herself over tonight to talk about Thanksgiving or
something and she’s bringing Sven. Should I tell her that’s fine?”
Rose considered the idea. If by some miracle Dorian did get Bella in bed, she
certainly didn’t want to have to be a third wheel. “Go ahead.”
About fifteen minutes later, Ariadne pulled Crowe into his living room while
Sven went to join the kids upstairs. However, before he could open Rose’s bedroom door,
he was jerked into Rose’s bathroom.
“What are you doing?” he demanded of Rose once she turned on the light.
“Dorian apparently needs twenty minutes alone and quite frankly, I don’t want to
hear him bitch if this doesn’t work out.”
“Twenty minutes?”
“Twenty minutes.”
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Sven smirked. “He must really suck in bed if all he needs is twenty minutes to
seduce her.”
Rose shared Sven’s amused grin and looked around the room. “Do you wanna go
talk in another room?”
Sven glanced around and nodded. After arriving in one of the guestrooms, Rose
sighed.
“Sven, what are we going to do about this job? Should we actually pursue it? Why
would we?”
Sven stared at his nails. “Don’t you just get that feeling? That feeling like our
lives aren’t complete unless we’re doing these jobs? Like if we don’t that we’d end up
regretting it for the rest of our lives?” Rose chewed on her lip, silent. “You don’t have to
deny it for me.”
“I do.”
Sven gave her an expectant look. “So…should we do it?”
She ran her hand through her hair. “I just…I feel like we’re being selfish. My dad
had to lose the love of his life to realize that this crime thing was bad. Those two are just
getting their lives back in order. What gives us the right to mess all that up? To put the
only things they have to love dangling above a shark tank? I just feel like we shouldn’t
put them under that kind of stress. And…we’d be betraying them. We vowed along with
them never to return to this life. Why would we be doing it either way?”
Sven looked away. “I’m not the only thing Ariadne has to hold onto.”
Rose put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t talk like that. You know your aunt loves
you to death.”
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His angry expression faltered. “Rose, I just feel like they shouldn’t be the ones
ruling our lives. Why can’t we prove to them that we can hold our own? It doesn’t sound
that high risk. What, we’re just going into someone’s house and taking a statue? No big
deal. We’d get some money and we’d feel like we did something. I think we should do
it.”
Rose sighed. “Give me a little more time to think.”
He nodded. “Do you think Dorian and Bella are…?”
She made a face. “Let’s just go down to the basement and wait for them. I
certainly don’t need that image.”
She got up and he followed, his fingers massaging his temples. “Jesus, too late for
that image thing.”
*
*
*
Ariadne had expected to just have a normal night with Logan, watch a movie or
something like they always did, but it just didn’t feel right on that particular Friday night.
He just looked—well she couldn’t tell if it was older or just sadder. She knew that he had
bad days, but he just looked like all the color had faded from his personality.
“You okay?” she asked.
He grimaced. “I’m…I’m fine. Just a little stressed.”
Stressed? How did she deal with stress? Oh right, cartoons or alcohol. She
glanced at Crowe; he didn’t look like the nostalgic type. So that left alcohol. He
definitely didn’t mind a glass of wine, but was he ever the type to use it to feel more
relaxed? It suddenly occurred to her that she had no idea. She knew that Mattie partied
every once in a while, but his older brother was never mentioned.
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“Logan, have you ever gotten drunk?”
He looked to her like she’d accused him of molesting a child. “No. Why would I
have done that?”
She gave him a dumbfounded look. “You’re almost forty-five and you’ve never
been drunk?!” He shook his head. “Why?!”
His expression was contempt. “Why would I want to do something as stupid,
dangerous, and childish as that? Drunk people don’t have more fun, they just look like
idiots.” He paused. “No offense.”
“But really? Really? You’ve never been drunk? Not as a teenager? Not as a young
man? Never?”
He shook his head. “When I was a teenager, I was too busy watching my back and
taking care of Mattie to get drunk. When Mattie was no longer a child, it was all career
all the time. When you’re a field guy, control 24-7 is vital. When Rose was growing up
with me just as an Interpol agent, I didn’t want to be a bad influence on Rose and the
shine of it had worn off.”
Ariadne hated to admit it, but his excuse did kind of work. “Logan, you’re way
too uptight. Please, for me, just for one night, get a little buzzed with me. I swear, there’s
no harm in it. Rose and Sven and Rocko and Bella are upstairs doing whatever teenage
things they do. They’re not coming down here. We won’t leave the house. It’ll just be our
little secret. Please?”
“No.”
“Logan!”
“No, okay? I don’t need to be drunk to relax.”
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She raised an eyebrow. “Then how relaxed are you now? Clearly you’re not
assisting in your own healing process because you’re not trying to be happy. You’re like
an unfeeling rock! Please, just try this. Try to feel something. At your age, I don’t even
think it can be addicting. I swear Logan, it won’t hurt anything. Just try it with me.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be a good influence?”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?”
Logan huffed. “Ariadne, if you’re looking for a drinking buddy, go call one of
your friends. I’m just not into that stuff.”
“One drink.”
“No.”
“No?”
“Fine. One drink. But I’m picking it out.”
“Wanna have a shot contest? I’ll lose. I always do.”
He gave her a look. “Um yeah, cause you’re at least forty pounds lighter than
me.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t like a friendly competition. C’mon, since the kids are
between the bedrooms and the basement, let’s go outside.”
As he walked outside to where a basketball hoop was set up in the corner of his
backyard, Ariadne scanned his bar, pulled a bottle of vodka and two shot glasses off, and
joined him.
“You make the basket, you don’t take a shot. You miss, you take a shot. Deal?”
He studied her. “This isn’t going to take long, is it?”
She shrugged. “Considering I suck at basketball, I’d say no, it won’t.”
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Her comment brought a playful smile to his face.
*
*
*
Dorian knew he had her. One look in her eyes when she sat herself down on the
floor and glanced up at him and he knew. All he needed to do now was convince her
conscience that she wasn’t cheating on her boyfriend.
“So, how have you and Dylan been?” he asked airily.
She frowned. “Okay, I guess. He’s been neglectful lately. Well, lately being ever
since school started. It’s getting annoying.”
Dorian gave a sympathetic smile. “Tough luck.” He focused on his nails, barely
stubs thanks to his nail biting habit. “You know, you could break up with him.”
“I already told you that I can’t do that.”
Dorian put his hand down. “What if he wanted to break up with you?”
Bella’s eyes brightened. “Could you help me do that?”
He smiled. “Of course. You know all it takes is a rumor.”
Her eyes suddenly dulled. “I can’t cheat on him. I can’t be known as that kind of
girl, Dorian. I mean, being easy is a reputation I didn’t want to build up, but middle
school makes the peer pressure hard to avoid. I admit, yes, I slept with a few guys in
middle school, but I don’t want a worse reputation now. I want to be a good,
monogamous girl.”
“Well, is Dylan giving you what you want?”
“He saved me from my reputation.”
Dorian inched toward her. “And now he’s failed as your knight in shining armor.
It’s not considered cheating if you break up with him. You can still be monogamous. It
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can be our little secret. We tell everyone in a month or so. No bad reputation. It’s fair
game in a teen relationship that’s lasted over a year.”
He was right next to her, his hand hovering around her hand. “You promise that
it’s fair game?”
He shrugged. “So long as you break up with him before we do anything.”
“I can’t—I can’t break up with him over text!”
“Over the phone works.”
“Dorian! That’s so heartless!”
He gave her a look. “He’s so macho, it shouldn’t matter. Besides, you and I both
know that he’s been eyeing Maddy all year.”
“You’ve been here two weeks.”
“As to highlight my point. Do it. He’s not worth the year you wasted with him.”
He snorted. “He’ll probably be relieved.”
She picked up her cell, fished out his contact, and pressed CALL.
*
*
*
After about half an hour, Crowe had missed five shots and Ariadne had missed
six, yet while he was staggering to stay on his feet and giggly, she was still pretty in it.
Although she would never reveal it to Logan, she’d been taking shots of white wine while
he took the vodka.
“One more each!” Ariadne announced, guessing that he had a few more drinks to
go before he got into the stupor stage and falling on the floor vomiting was not the
experience Ariadne was going for.
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Crowe nodded, picked up the basketball from the grass spot it had landed, and
threw it only close enough for it to bounce off the corner of the backboard. He let out a
short laugh, took a full shot glass, and threw it back easily. Afterwards, he smiled at
Ariadne, motioning for her to go.
Her last shot was pretty much easily labeled an epic fail, seeing as it hit off the
fence and hit Demetri, causing him to go on a panic run around the backyard. Once her
last shot was taken, she watched in amusement as Crowe doubled over laughing at his
distressed fox.
“So what should we do now, Logan?” she asked him.
He smiled at her with a leer. “How much did my brother teach you?”
Ariadne smiled with the same expression as him. “Why don’t we have a little
conversation?”
And people told me that a theatre minor was a stupid idea, she thought smugly as
she led Crowe onto the grass and set him down.
*
*
*
It was done. Bella had broken up with her boyfriend of almost two years. Yet,
there wasn’t emptiness. Well, there was one, but it was a negative emotion coming from
the fact that she didn’t feel emptiness at the thought of losing her knight in shining armor.
She watched as her phone buzzed, Dylan’s name flashing on its screen. She hadn’t waited
for Dylan to protest and certainly wasn’t going to start now. She allowed Dorian to kick
her phone across the room as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Are you really worth all the effort?” she whispered to him.
He smirked. “Why don’t you tell me?”
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She peeled off his shirt to reveal a body she thought was only possibly with the
help of Photoshop. He was lean, yet his torso was lined with muscle, a perfect six pack in
the place of where Dylan had only had an iron board stomach, arm muscles where Dylan
had sticks, and a tattoo on his shoulder. She ran her hand from his collarbone down to his
abs, as if trying to figure out if they were real. She noticed how his hands were by his
sides, yet shaking almost nervously.
“You okay?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to do anything you didn’t want me to do.”
Blushing at the care that he showed, she grabbed his hand and placed it on her
chest, Dorian unable to catch if she meant he had her heart or her breasts. Not that it
really mattered. His hands traveled along her upper body just as she was doing to him.
Inwardly, he was beyond ecstatic. He couldn’t believe how well everything was going
down. He’d convinced her to break up with her boyfriend after one week of badgering
and in a few minutes, she would be his. And, well, from there, he had no idea what was
possible. Maybe she’d become enamored with him, maybe she’d just continue with their
physical relationship. He didn’t care which, although the first might be a bit more
interesting.
He hardly gave it a second from after Bella gave him permission to remove her
shirt to start a more in depth exploration. Making sure to be one step behind Bella, he
gave her the time to remove his pants while he felt her up. Even so, he did eventually
catch up, both of them with one layer between them. He was so close, so damn close. He
didn’t care that Rose and Sven hadn’t bothered with a peep since they left, didn’t care
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that his host father and advisor were technically somewhere within the house, and didn’t
care that he was a rebound fling.
“Make this worth my wild, Aussie,” she whispered to him as they slowly shed
their last layer.
He chuckled. “I’ll make you scream.”
But uh, please don’t actually scream. Thanks.
*
*
*
“Y’know, I was bullied a lot as a kid. Even before my parents died,” Crowe said
as he lay on the grass with Ariadne lying perpendicular to him, her head on his chest.
“Why?” she asked, unable to comprehend that he was opening up about his
childhood. Drunk Logan = win.
“When I was ten, I kissed this big dude’s girlfriend in front of him because my
friends said if I didn’t, Mattie would end up being a queer. Obviously, the guy really only
needed one punch before I was bleeding on the ground crying, but hey, I kissed his
girlfriend who was six years older than me. Then when I was twelve I did the same thing
with a senior girl and well…she just bitchslapped me. Then when I was fifteen, I screwed
some college girl and her boyfriend…who, oddly enough, was eighteen, had the entire
football team beat me up.”
“Did you fight back?”
“No. Mattie’s the fighter. I’m the ‘sneak away when no one’s looking’ guy.”
Ariadne nodded. “Do you think that’s affected you in your life?”
He shrugged. “I guess I sort of started taking my own mental revenge on them
once I started mastering Parkour. I just felt superior and when the Murder took off, it just
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became like I was invincible. And also…when I started stealing, it almost upped my sex
appeal. Like, when I was a kid before I started stealing, people might give me a glance,
but no one talked to me. Do you get that?”
She nodded. “You started seeping confidence. Confidence combined with good
looks and skills is sexy. Makes sense to me.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Truth be
told, I wanted to screw you when I first met you.”
He laughed. “You don’t anymore, right?”
She shook her head. “Naw, besides, we’re letting the gene crossing happen with
Rose and Sven, remember?”
“Oh yeah, you’re going to clean my bathroom with a toothbrush.”
“No, you’re buying me a magnet bed because if I end up cleaning your bathroom,
it means that Rose and Sven didn’t procreate. Do you remember that song I taught you
when we were on the road right before we had that threesome with Mattie?”
A flicker of doubt crossed Crowe’s glazed eyes, but he ignored it. “The one about
hitchhiking?”
“Yeah. Can you still hum the melody?”
He responded by humming the tune of the song, Ariadne quietly singing the song
on top of it.
It wasn’t even like they were saying dirty things. It started with Ariadne when she
muttered the lyrics “tonight I’m eating crow” and Crowe growing a smile like a teenage
boy. Ariadne caught onto the reference and lightly hit him.
“See? Isn’t this fun?” she cooed.
He chuckled. “Completely, but we haven’t really done anything.”
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She soon found his fingers running along her face. “Logan, what are you doing?”
He was distracted. “You know your skin is really soft.”
She blushed. “Yeah, with Corydon and all, I figured I’d actually take care of
myself.”
She wasn’t really sure what Crowe wanted, so she felt from his neck up to his
cheek. “You…I have no idea. Nice.” Her hand brushed his hair. “Your hair’s curly?”
He smiled, trying to contain a laugh. “Good observation skills, Ariadne.”
“Oh shut up. You’re drunk anyway.”
Before things got even more awkward, a new form of awkward decided to rear his
head.
“Hey Daddy, can you help get Sven’s iPhone down from your neighbor’s roof?”
Dorian asked, an embarrassed beyond belief Rose, disheveled Bella, and Sven with a why
me? expression on his face.
Ariadne nearly threw herself off of Crowe and was about to give a negative
answer, but Crowe beat her to the punch.
“Which neighbor?” he asked suspiciously. Dorian pointed to the one to the left.
“Mr. Heg? Dammit, I hate that motherfucker. You don’t bitch about how I leave my
window open while washing the fox and then I have my five-year-old daughter come into
my room requesting an explanation as to why Mr. Heg is fucking naked in his backyard!”
Sven, Rose and Ariadne exchanged a glance, slightly thrown aback by how Crowe had
dropped the f-bomb more times in that moment then in his whole life. “Yeah Dorian, I’ll
get the fucking phone back. Of course I will. I just need Ariadne to hold my shoes.”
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He took them off, nearly falling over in the process, and had Ariadne holding
them and the socks before she could utter a protest.
“Wait, Logan!” Ariadne finally managed as Crowe ran to the side of his house. “I
can’t drive you to the hospital!” Ariadne gave up and fell into the grass. “Don’t fuck
yourself up, you bastard!”
Dorian watched in awe as Crowe easily climbed up two stories to a balcony on a
completely flat wall. Once he was standing on the balcony, he stumbled, but using the
fire pit, took one jump and had his fingers gripping the roof. Once on the roof, he
steadied himself, effortlessly jumped onto the neighbor’s roof, and perched like a cat
above the man’s balcony. Sven’s phone was sitting right in front of the glass doors. He
looked to the group in the balcony, Bella and Dorian staring like idiots. Rose was the first
one to interpret his signal and gave him the all clear sign once she was sure that Mr. Heg
wasn’t looking.
Smirking, Crowe jumped down, picked up the phone, and pulled himself back up,
the only sign of his trip being a loose shingle that he tripped on that fell onto the balcony.
Crowe jumped back onto his roof, slid a bit from the imbalance, and let himself fall from
the roof to the second floor, then back from the second floor to the first.
“Here you are,” Crowe said as he handed Sven the phone.
Crowe tried to pull a wide-eyed Ariadne to her feet, but ended up crashing down
with her.
“What the hell did you just do?” she hissed in his ear.
“Got the phone.”
She was going to reprimand him, but she just stared.
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“Jesus Christ above, you’re wasted.”
Crowe nodded. “You know that I love you, don’t you?”
Then, without warning, he pulled Ariadne into a quick, completely invading kiss.
And, just to make Ariadne look back on the experience with annoyance, all she could
think of during the kiss was how much he tasted like every other of the hundreds of drunk
guys she’d already kissed. Despite the dependence, the urgent misdirected passion in
him, all Ariadne could remember was vodka taste.
“Logan…” Ariadne said, unsure if her tone sounded pleasantly flabbergasted or
chastising.
Logan slurred something and went running into the side of the house, leaving
Ariadne confused beyond belief. “What did he say?”
“Said he was gonna go puke,” Sven answered as if it was completely obvious.
She turned to her nephew. “How could you understand that from that far away yet
I can’t when he’s a foot from me?”
Sven looked at his aunt like it was obvious. “Cause you’re drunk!”
It took a few seconds for Ariadne to process what Sven had initially said before
she made an insulted sound, her hands on her hips. “Am I that bad of a goddamned kisser
that he has to run off to puke?!”
Once again, Sven gave her that look of embarrassment. “Did it even occur to you
that he’s in a drunk stupor?”
“Ohh, right…” She gave a weak smile. “Um, I’m gonna go help Logan and make
sure he doesn’t mess up something expensive and then make me pay for it tomorrow.”
She paused. “But first I gotta pee. Sven, go help your future father-in-law!”
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She was already running inside when Sven responded. “Stop arranging my
marriages!”
Once his aunt was out of sight, he looked to Rose, who was smiling weakly
behind a blush. However, after a few seconds, all eyes went to Bella, who was still kind
of shocked. Rose put a hand on her shoulder.
“This is completely normal for us. We’re immune. I’m sorry.”
Bella shook her head. “How is your backyard more entertaining then a sitcom?”
Rose shrugged. “Miss Evans has this ability to attract strange events. Normally
my dad’s more boring and…sane.”
Sven leaned into his girlfriend. “Is it considered incest yet?”
Dorian beamed. “Not if you’re in Australia!”
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Chapter 8
First Instinct
To say that Crowe was in a bad mood the next morning would be possibly the
biggest understatement Rose had made, and she had survived in a class where the
unabridged version of Les Misérables was a tad bit thick.
“Is he okay?” Rose couldn’t help asking a completely normal Ariadne as she and
Sven spotted her lying on the couch while her father was covered by a blanket on the
floor, swearing at Ariadne.
“He’s just hung over.”
She walked over to Crowe and pulled the blanket off him with flourish, revealing
Crowe with his usually well kept hair was disheveled, his eyes completely bloodshot, his
skin dull and pale, and a healthy application of eyeliner smeared around so he looked like
a raccoon who got beaten with a hose. Crowe, quickly judging by Sven and Rose’s looks
of confusion, glared at Ariadne.
“What’s on my face?”
“Eyeliner. Yeah, it’s true, you’re not as hot as Johnny Depp. Sorry.”
He massaged his temples, although it didn’t have a significant effect on his
headache. “I remember what happened last night, but I think I need you to tell me that a
few of the things didn’t really happen.”
He let himself drop onto the couch Ariadne had slept on, putting a pillow over his
face to block out the sunlight peeking out from the clouds.
“Well, you downed six two ounce shots of vodka in less than an hour, we talked
about your childhood and all the cougars you screwed, you went all Parkour and got
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Sven’s cell phone from your creepy neighbor’s balcony, kissed me, and ran off to puke.
When I got back to taking care of you, you were drinking beer. Now I wanted to teach
you how to pole dance, but we ended up watching Planet of the Apes until you passed
out.”
He groaned. “Why can’t you take the ‘lie to me’ hint?”
Ariadne shrugged and poured some tomato juice. “How are you feeling right
now? Drained, gross, or nauseous?”
“Gross.”
She took a swig of the tomato juice and poured Crowe a glass of water. “For that,
just sleep a lot today, go take a shower alternating between hot and cold water, and when
you’re feeling up to it, keep to a very raw, mineral-rich diet. Exercise if you want. No
caffeine until tomorrow. I take Advil, but then again I’m an avid drinker.”
Crowe looked over to his daughter, who was awkwardly pouring herself cereal.
“Ariadne, which children are currently in my house?”
She shrugged. “I know Sven didn’t go home. I imagine Dorian didn’t escape.
Dunno if Bella went home.”
Crowe’s eyes widened. “Wait, wait. Sven is still here?”
“Yeah bro. Dorian is a straight guy too. Straight guys have sleepovers with each
other.”
Crowe turned to looking at his daughter, causing her to blush. “Sven and I didn’t
sleep in the same room, Dad. Neither did Bella and Dorian.”
Crowe looked back to Ariadne. “Bella’s here too? Wait a minute, you said I did
Parkour in….holy shit Ariadne! Did I do Parkour in front of the other kids?”
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She nodded. “I’d be more concerned for your daughter’s welfare considering you
kissed me last night. I don’t think you being a ninja is such a shocker.”
Crowe’s expression turned a bit more nervous. “Rosie, tell me honestly and I
promise that I won’t get mad at you. Just, please, was there any inappropriate things
going on last night?”
Rose hung her head in shame. “How inappropriate is biology?”
Ariadne stopped what she was doing. “Damn that liar! I knew he didn’t really
believe in that purity ring…”
Before Rose could clarify that it wasn’t her and Sven that were the problem,
Ariadne was already upstairs. Rose looked her dad in the eyes, the experience almost
painful.
“Dorian and Bella probably did it last night. Dorian claims to be some human
psychologist and wanted to get into the mind of an easy girl. Please don’t tell Bella’s
parents. She didn’t really know that she was being used.”
Crowe crinkled his brow. “Uh…We’re just gonna have to talk later. Cause…I
think that worries me more than he just wants some.” He took a deep breath. “So you and
Sven were keeping it clean?”
Rose nodded. “We’re not into that stuff, Dad. He respects me. Hell, I think
Ariadne has him so freaked out that he won’t even offer.”
Right on cue, Ariadne half dragged Sven downstairs.
“What did I do? Jesus Aunt A, all I did was have my phone thrown on the roof of
Mr. Crowe’s neighbor.”
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She looked him straight in the eye with a serious look in her eyes. “What does
pussy feel like?”
He turned bright red. “Oh my God! Why do you do this to me?!”
Ariadne relaxed. “He’s clean.”
Crowe looked to Ariadne like she was crazy, Rose considering hiding under the
table to avoid the awkward. “How does that check if he’s a virgin?”
“Because if he wasn’t, he would’ve stuttered. I heard no stutter.”
“Did your parents do that to you?”
Around twenty minutes later, Crowe had played dumb and dropped Bella off at
her home under the excuse that Rose had a doctor’s appointment to go to. Ariadne took
Sven home almost immediately after Crowe drove off. Once he arrived back home,
Crowe nudged Dorian awake and ordered him to come to the kitchen counter for a
“family meeting.”
“Dorian, let me just say that I don’t want to be the bad guy here. I don’t want to
be that tightass dad who brings out the shotgun after the mention of the word sex. But
also, I’m not going to be that idiot who tells the sons of the family to go get some and be
proud of it. Please, just tell me honestly. Did you sleep with Bella last night?” He nodded.
“Did you use protection?” Another nod. “Did you use it right?” He nodded, slowly at
first but then with more confidence. Crowe was suddenly lost for a further point. So the
kid wasn’t going to lie and he wasn’t a class A dumbass. Great.
He twiddled his thumbs. “Look Dorian, I know this doesn’t really make sense to
you yet, but sex and people at your age isn’t exactly…well, good. Mistakes are more
likely to be made the consequences are completely outside your scope of reality. I admit,
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when I was a kid, I didn’t know the consequences either and I just got lucky that I only
dated older girls who put condoms on for me. I don’t want to bring you down or
anything, but if you’re going to live in my house, you’ll obey my rules. No more teen sex
under my roof. Bella will not set foot in this house as long as you’re in the house, even if
it is with Rose. Same goes for any girl that isn’t Vivienne.”
“But Dad—” Rose protested.
“No buts, young lady. You’ve both betrayed my trust and I will not stand for it.
Want to bring a friend over? Make sure Dorian isn’t home. Rose, you’re not innocent in
this. You allowed this to happen without a second thought. If you don’t have the
backbone to defend your house, I won’t give you the opportunity to do so. No more than
two friends over at a time, and Sven…well Sven…God, just, Sven can only come over
here if I’m home and that’s in place unless Ariadne says otherwise. Dorian, the two
friends is for you too. Any questions, you two?”
Rose kept her mouth shut and Dorian’s head was swimming. The tone Mr. Crowe
had been using was slightly terrifying. When it had been with his old man, he’d be
screaming his head off my now. But Crowe—his tone was even and business-like. It was
freaky. Like, he was plotting to kill him underneath the calm tone. He didn’t dare speak
up. Besides, he had to admit, having sex with some girl in your host father’s home is kind
of disrespectful.
“So that also means I can’t go to her house too, right?”
Dorian instantly wanted to shrink. Why had he spoken up and with such a
smartassed question too? Crowe rubbed his bloodshot eye.
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“Dorian, as far as I’m concerned, you don’t have an American license, so the only
person you can legally drive with is Rose because of sibling things. Anyone else it would
be illegal and dangerous beyond your wildest dreams. Rosie, did I ever tell you about
Patrick and Manuel?” Rose shook her head. “Back when I was in high school, my best
friends were these identical twins named Patrick and Manuel. One night, they offer to
drive me to a party, but I decline. So they both go to the party. Now, they’re responsible:
Patrick’s the DD for a group of about three guys and his brother. All of them have a few
beers, but none get wasted or anything. Maybe a bit obnoxious, but what teenage boy
isn’t obnoxious? Manuel gets ready to leave the party and tells Patrick that he’ll walk
home so the guys wouldn’t be as crowded in the four-door that they were driving. So
Manuel takes off walking and oddly enough, he ends up seeing his brother’s car right
before he crosses a big intersection. He smiles, waves to his brother and crosses the street
that his brother’s about to drive on. Once on the other side, he watches as his brother
inches out into the intersection and bam!, he’s t-boned because he didn’t look hard
enough.
Manuel watches in horror as blood splatters onto the windows. Sure, no kids go
flying out of the car, but he can’t leave. No, no, he waits until the cops show up and get to
pry open the door. He watches as they start pulling on something, something red and notso-solid on the driver’s side. Manuel knows, but he can’t acknowledge it until the cops
pull the driver out of the car. Imagine not a teenage boy, but a large, bloody slab of meat
in clothing. Once they actually got him out of the car, his brains actually fell out of his
broken skull. Patrick had had his license all of two months.”
Rose and Dorian had lost a bit of color and were otherwise brain-dead.
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“Weren’t we talking about sex?” Dorian asked.
“It’s just a note, guys. I don’t make punishments because I like abusing children. I
really do care about your well being and I want you to realize that I’m doing this for a
reason. Sure, sex is a bit harder to die doing, but when you’re up at two am rocking a
crying baby or unable to function because you feel guilty about getting an abortion or
hell, have genital herpes and AIDS at the same time you’ll know your old life is dead. It’s
not a way to live life and trust me, that five minutes of pleasure isn’t worth a baby or
disease. Just don’t do it again.”
With that, Crowe stood and left the room, hoping that Ariadne’s hangover cure
could make him feel better, even though he knew that it wasn’t the vodka that was
making him feel so bad.
*
*
*
Stay calm, Ariadne told herself as she followed Sven to the couch.
“Could we talk?” she asked.
Sven turned off the TV and tossed the remote away. “Why?”
She sighed. “Sven, I just want to make sure that I’m doing my job. I don’t know
why, but I just got so scared when Rose said that biology comment. It’s not like I don’t
trust you, it’s just—”
Sven was not amused. “That you don’t trust me?”
“You’re a kid, Sven. You could think that the world is all under your control, and
all it takes is two seconds for the world to pull the rug out from under you. You don’t
want to be a teen dad, do you?”
“I wasn’t going to have sex with Rose.”
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She put an arm around him. “Look bud, I’m in with the today. I know that
abstinence is no longer the easiest option. I get that. Sooo, y’know, I want to make sure
that you know your safe sex.”
“Condoms. I know. Can I go now?”
“No. Condoms are not the solution. You can put a condom on wrong or it could
break.”
“If it broke, I’d have the girl get the day after pill.”
She gave him a disapproving look. “Do you know what the day after pill does?
It’s not most women’s ideal second contraceptive. Okay, yeah, there is technically no real
good answer for this, but make sure you talk to your girlfriend about this stuff a month
before you think you’ll be ready. Personally, if you end up with an idiot like me for a
girlfriend, don’t let her do the pill. She’ll forget. Recommend the patch or ring.”
He gave her a look. “Why are you telling me this now? I don’t plan to have sex
any time soon.”
Now she gave him a look. “You’re fifteen and a half. It’ll come soon. Just
please—those sex ed programs in middle school didn’t take themselves seriously and
your high school doesn’t seem to want to do that so now I have to. But oh yeah, don’t
forget condoms. Always use a condom. No matter what. Even if she’s on the pill and has
some surgically implanted barrier, hell, if she had her uterus removed, use a condom. Do
you know why?”
“Because you’re paranoid?”
“No, because of STDs! Do you want herpes? Do you know what herpes is like?
Think of it as if you had some kid in your thirties and he’s now in his forties and is one of
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those losers who lives in the basement and comes up ever so often for food money and
smells worse than a dump. And it is there until you die. And AIDS, well AIDS is like that
psychopathic child that kills you when you least expect it. You don’t want them. Ever.
They’re almost worse than getting a girl pregnant. I mean, at least kids will nurse you
when you’re old. Herpes? You think herpes is going to coax you through your elderly
years? Hell no. Use a condom.”
Sven put his head in his hands. “Aunt Ariadne, stop! Just stop! I don’t need this
conversation right now. Rose and I spent the night playing video games in her basement.
We weren’t the ones having sex. Chill out. I’m not going to get a girl pregnant and I’m
not going to contract herpes.” Sven paused, something suddenly dawning on him. “I
know why you’re really doing this! You feel like you don’t know me anymore!”
Her head dropped. “Sven, I just feel like we’ve been distant—”
“Wait, so I can’t bitch about this, but you can just sit me down and start talking
about herpes like I already got five girls pregnant and HIV positive? What kind of BS is
that?”
“This isn’t about some power trip. Sven, I was wrong. I know that. Please just let
me try to make up for it—”
“No! I don’t want your sympathy. I don’t want you to make everything all better
because you know what? We’ll hug and I’ll forgive you, and then you’ll blow me off to
go hang out with your boyfriend. He’s changed you, and I can tell you that it’s not for the
better.”
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“What the hell are you spouting? Corydon has nothing to do with this. This is me
not spending enough time with you. I won’t blow you off. Jesus, I’ve given you millions
of chances, so why can’t you give me this one? Would it really hurt that much?”
He looked away. “Yeah, it would. Because I’ve been giving you dozens of
chances since you got together with Corydon. You drop me off at school, you drop me
off at voice lessons, and you ignore me at home aside from cooking and cleaning my
clothes. When’s the last time we saw a movie or done something fun together?”
“What kind of teenage boy wants to hang out with their mother figures anyway,
Sven? This is supposed to be a time when you’re discovering yourself, being
independent. I’m not your playmate anymore. You’re becoming an adult and soon you’re
going to see that I have my own life. If you’re so butthurt about not going to a movie with
me, why don’t you go with one of your friends? There’s nothing I can do more for you.”
“More? Oh, I don’t know, how about being there for me to talk about my
problems? I swear to fucking God, I could be suicidal and you’d never know because you
have to go on some meaningless date with a guy that you can’t even decide if you want to
marry. You know, if my mother was still around, I bet she’d listen to my problems! I bet
she’d drop everything to be able to have an intimate conversation with her son. For
someone who bashes Rebecca Black-Evans so bad, you’re sure turning out a hell of a lot
like her.”
With that, Sven went storming up to his room, locking the door behind him.
Ariadne slid down to the floor when the closed door came into her view. She felt like
crying, but held herself together.
“Sven! Sven please, just come out! I’m sorry that you’re feeling neglected!”
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She was talking to a white door, and she knew it. She leaned against the door and
buried her face in her arms, fearing for the first time in eight years that she was losing her
little savior. Pathetic, she thought to herself, how pathetic have I become?
Sven might’ve underestimated how long his aunt would stand outside his door
pleading for his forgiveness, but that didn’t make him any less vigilant.
“Rose?” Sven kept his voice down. “What’s up with you?”
Her voice sounded deflated over the phone. “Dad says he doesn’t trust me
anymore.”
“Oh. Bummer.”
“Yeah… So what are you up to?”
Sven frowned. “My aunt’s just driving me up a freaking wall. She just doesn’t get
it and when I finally tried to explain it to her, she wouldn’t listen. Why are adults so
dense sometimes?”
She sighed. “Well adults will be adults. What do you think we should do about
it?”
The tiniest flicker of a smile crossed Sven’s face. “We accept that job. We have
all Thanksgiving to do it. Ten days starting today!”
Three was a silence on the other end. “Sven, what day is today?”
Sven looked around his room, but failed to find a calendar. “I don’t know.”
“Sven, I’m going to have to call you back.”
Before Sven could say goodbye, the line went dead.
*
*
*
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Rose stared at her calendar, not bothering to hide any tears. It would be the first
real family holiday that her mother wouldn’t be there for. In less than a week the demons
would come back, take her by the throat. She’d felt it a few times before, but she knew it
would be ten times worse with the holidays. Suddenly fighting against the rip tide of her
emotions, she crept into her father’s room.
She found it empty, her stomach dropping.
“Dad?” she called out, her voice trembling. “Daddy?”
She noticed that the door to her mother’s closet was open, causing her to relax
ever so slightly. She wiped her eyes and entered the small, dim room. She found him on
the floor, a few articles of her mom’s clothing in his arms as he hugged himself.
“Dad?”
He turned slowly to look up. “Rose?”
His voice was hoarse and he couldn’t hide the tearstains. “I miss her so much,
Rose. God, I know…I know you—”
She slowly knelt down and crept into her father’s arms. Immediately, he squeezed
her as she dug her face into his chest. “I miss her too,” she said, finishing his last thought.
They sat like that for about ten minutes, savoring each other’s embrace, as if somehow
that could turn their memories back into their wife and mother.
Rose was the first one to get up, suddenly remembering that she was supposed to
call Sven back and she didn’t know what time it was. Her dad followed, hanging up the
shirt he’d taken down and brushing the wrinkles off his pajamas. As soon as he was in the
main room, his expression turned sour.
“Do you smell that?” he asked Rose.
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“Well…Demetri’s right there.”
Sure enough, the fox was sitting a few feet from them.
“Dammit Demetri, what did you eat now?” Crowe said exasperated as he picked
up Rose’s pet. “Rose…where did I spew last night?”
“If you’re facing the backyard, somewhere on the left side of the house.”
He turned back to Demetri. “God, you’re so disgusting.” Demetri returned the
insult with a few innocent licks to Crowe’s face. “That doesn’t ch—” He pushed
Demetri’s face away. “I’m gonna kill Ariadne.”
As Crowe walked downstairs to hose off the side of the house, Rose returned to
her room, that empty feeling still gnawing at her insides. She couldn’t help thinking how
lucky her dad was to have found a distraction so easily, even if it was the realization that
a fox that had moments before eaten his vomit had just licked his mouth.
She picked up her cell and dialed Sven’s number.
“Sorry about not calling you back,” she apologized up front.
“Don’t worry about it. So any more thought on the job?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I’m in.”
There was a pause on the other line. “You are? Just like that?”
“It feels better knowing I have a distraction from my mom.”
“Oh…right. So should we ask Dorian if he’s in? Surely he believes us after seeing
your dad.”
Rose hesitated. “Let’s let him in on a quick drive by the place and if he wants to
keep going, sure. Otherwise, we need some kind of blackmail to get him to keep his
mouth shut.”
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Sven laughed. “Blackmail. I’m likin’ the new distracted Rose. So when we doing
the drive by?”
“I’d try for today. We don’t know how long all this is going to take and I know
we can’t do anything on Thanksgiving.”
“Sounds great. Let’s take your car…say, around eleven?”
“I’ll pick you up.”
*
*
*
“Dad, could I take Dorian and Sven to Universal for the night? We bought the
yearly passes so it’s free.”
“Only if you promise to give your fox a bath tomorrow.”
*
*
*
“I’m going to Universal Studios with Rose and Dorian. See? I’m spending time
with my friends like you wanted. Go tell Corydon you’re free for a screw night.”
“Sven—”
“I’ll be home at nine.”
*
*
*
So far, traffic had been a breeze, Sven estimating that they’d get to Studio City, a
town located in northern Hollywood, in about half an hour, the absolute best time. Then
again, they were on the I-110 and there was bound to be traffic or someone about to get
into an accident and cause traffic.
“Wait, are we going to Universal Studios?” Dorian asked for at least the third
time since Sven started driving.
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“No!” Rose and Sven snapped back. Rose took over. “We’re going to Studio City,
it’s near Universal Studios. We needed an excuse and that would make the most sense.”
Dorian nodded. “But wait…what if I wanted to go to Universal Studios? Will we
go?”
“No, Dorian. We don’t have time for it.”
“You guys are such party poopers.”
Sven jumped back in. “If you’re so set on seeing stupid LA sites, we’ll take you to
Bob’s Big Boy and you’ll shut up.”
Dorian made a face. “Jesus, you two are both PMSing. Oh, speaking of which,
would it kill us if the most emotionally stable one drove instead of the Incredible Hulk
over here?”
Rose kept Sven from quipping back. “You don’t have a driver’s license.”
Dorian held his breath as Sven abruptly went out of the carpool lane (illegally),
punched the gas, and swerved back into the carpool lane, swearing at a slow driver the
whole time.
“I don’t think I have a bad case of road rage.”
Rose put a hand on Sven’s shoulder and he tried to relax. “Think about it this
way, Dorian. At least we’re not in a Prius. Then we’d be dead.”
Dorian looked up. “Thank you God for letting Rose buy a used Lincoln. You
saved our butts. Amen.” He got a forced chuckle from Rose and a notch higher of metal
music from Sven. “Aww theatre boy! Sing something for us.”
Sven was tempted to look back in order to give Dorian the full shut the fuck up
look. “Just because I sing doesn’t mean that I’m some performing monkey.”
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“Hey mate, monkeys are going to take over the world, so that’s not an insult.”
“Jesus Christ, what is wrong with you? Did Bella slip you some rupees last
night?”
Rose cracked a smile. “Boys…”
“No, no, sis. We’re having banter. It’s how dramatic people bond with the normal
people. Sven, tell me about yourself. What is your favorite movie?”
“Um, I don’t know.”
“Okay, okay, that’s cool bro. So you cried when Mufasa died in The Lion King?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Did you?”
“Yeah, I guess, but I probably watched it when I was like three…”
Dorian put his hands on the back of Sven’s seat, startling him ever so slightly.
“What’s the first movie you ever loved?”
Sven would’ve rubbed the back of his neck, but that wasn’t exactly possible. “It
was this movie called Milo and Otis. It was made by these Japanese people…”
“So you’re a hipster?”
“What? No. Dude, what the hell are you talking about?”
Dorian smiled and put a hand over his face as if he was embarrassed. “Pardon my
misguided conversation. What was the first musical that you ever loved?”
For the briefest second, Sven turned around to face Dorian, only for Rose to pull
him back.
“Dorian, I think it’s time that you shut up for a few hours! And Sven, take a
fucking chill pill. We don’t need to crash.”
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Sven looked back to the road and Dorian became awkwardly quiet. “If I had a
dollar for every time I’ve heard Rose say the f-bomb, I’d have one dollar and I’d be
pretty impressed with myself.”
Rose gave Dorian a warning look that changed to sympathy when she knew Sven
wasn’t looking. Once both of them were calm, she pressed next on Sven’s iPod, only for
it to start playing what was dubbed ‘Coming Undone – Korn’ and turn out to be ‘Empty
Chairs At Empty Tables’ sung by Michael Ball. Sven glanced at her.
“Don’t say anything,” Rose said as she patted his right hand.
“Can you sing like this?” Dorian asked after a bout of silence.
“Dorian!” Rose said, her voice cracking.
Dorian gave her a look. “Christ, wake me when we get to Bubba’s Big Boy.”
Sven smirked. “Even though that may’ve been an epic fail, a combination Bubba
Gump Shrimp Co. and Bob’s Big Boy would be pretty epic.”
Rose nodded, going along with the joke.
*
*
*
Oddly enough, Dorian was asleep when Sven pulled up to the house that Luke
had mentioned in the phone call. If Rose and Sven were honest, it was nothing special:
white outside, red-orange roof tiles, and green all around the front yard. Otherwise, the
lot wasn’t much bigger than what Rose’s house was, although she had to admit that this
house felt a lot more quaint.
The two exchanged a look. The house was…quaint? A house that supposedly
housed some member or a client of an up-and-coming criminal gang? Was the tacky rich
look a quality that came in once they were well known? Where was the thumping music,
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the odd statues on the grass, the pimps strutting out of the house with five women around
him?
“I think we have the wrong stereotype,” Sven concluded after they shared a few
sentences about the house.
Rose nodded. “So…what should we do? Wait until someone leaves and go
inside?”
“You got the bump key?”
“Yup. Or there’s always the open windows idea. Whatever works.”
A few moments passed in silence. “Did it occur to you that perhaps we should’ve
gotten Bob’s Big Boy to go and then came here?”
Rose thought for a moment. “Isn’t the restaurant a little drive away?”
“I think I saw an In-N-Out back by the I-110 exit.”
“Yeah. It was there.”
“Should we?”
“Yeah. We can just take Dorian to the CityWalk for dinner if he’s so into seeing
Universal Studios.”
So, about twenty minutes later, they were back in the same spot, In-N-Out in
hands, throwing Dorian a burger.
“Whuh? Wait…what time is it?” he asked.
“We’re on a stakeout right now and we figured we’d get lunch now,” Rose
explained.
Dorian completely ignored the stakeout part. “Is this from that place you guys
were talking about?”
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“Nope, In-N-Out, a.k.a. heaven in the form of a burger. Trust me, I didn’t get
introduced to this stuff for three months when I moved here from Aliceville, but now,
dammit man, so worth it,” Sven explained.
Dorian unwrapped his burger and took a bite, pleased with what he got. “So wait,
what are we doing?”
“Stakeout,” Rose repeated.
“What are we doing here?”
Sven and Rose stared at him. “Didn’t you listen when we told you the first time?”
“Yes.”
“Then…?”
Dorian changed the subject. “So, is what we’re going technically illegal?”
“Technically you broke the law last night. Technically we’re breaking the law
right now. Yeah, mind fucking you, aren’t I?” Sven retorted.
Dorian’ expression was blank. “How are we breaking the law now and how did
I?”
“Age of consent is eighteen and we drove here with an unlicensed driver.”
Dorian blinked. “Wait, wait, are you guys saying that breaking into someone’s
house is not illegal if we’re defining illegal as something that people actually care
about?” Hesitantly, Rose and Sven nodded. “So…are you guys gonna go in?”
“We are. You’re not,” Rose answered. “You’re keeping watch and telling us if he
comes home.”
“If I do that job, will I get in less trouble if we get caught?”
“Yes.”
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“Are we getting paid for this?” They nodded, even though they didn’t know. “Do
I still get paid even if I just get to keep watch?” Another nod. “I’m in.”
Sven and Rose smiled, both relieved that they didn’t need to resort to blackmail.
And, after a few hour of watching fruitlessly, a bright blue Ferrari came rolling out of the
driveway, some kind of hip hop music flooding out of the speakers.
“Tool,” Sven commented as he opened the driver door.
“Did it occur to you that we might be stealing from a twenty-year-old?” Rose
commented as she followed suit.
“Wait!” Dorian called from the backseat. The duo turned back. “How can I talk to
you?”
They stared at him blankly. “Cell phone?” Rose said.
Dorian made a face of realization that left Rose and Sven feeling confident
enough to leave him in the car. Once in front of the house, they put on the gloves,
bandanas, and hats.
“Bump key first?” Sven asked as Rose produced the key.
“Might as well.”
To their disappointment, the bump keys didn’t seem to work. So, they started
checking for open windows.
“I never really thought about it, but why do we wear the hats and bandanas?”
Sven asked.
“It’s to avoid DNA evidence. Bandanas means no spit that escapes and the hats
are for hair.”
Sven nodded. “Impressive on your dad’s part.”
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Rose’s eyes brightened when she found an open window…except it was on the
second floor.
“Can you boost me up?” Rose asked, pointing to the window.
Sven nodded and got down with his hands intertwined. Rose stepped into his
hands and he hoisted her upwards. After a bit of adjusting, Rose managed to slip through
the window, thanking God that it didn’t have a screen. From there, she let Sven inside the
house and they began their recon.
“So what are we trying to figure out?” Sven asked.
“Well, mainly we’re trying to find out where they hide this statue, but a bit of
background would be helpful. Like, oh, I don’t know…who the hell lives here perhaps?”
It was a scary thought that occurred to both of them: they had close to no
information about their target and it was their first job alone. They both couldn’t help
thinking that it was some great irony that the one person who could get their information
thought that they were at Universal Studios.
Judging by pictures around the house, the gang was made up of three main guys
and a girl that seemed to switch off being in a relationship with all three. All the guys
dressed pretty well, pretty much always seen in designer jeans, silk ties, and shiny shoes
that weren’t meant to be worn casually. As for how they made all the money, as much as
Sven joked that they were probably high-end male prostitutes, they could only guess that
it was a bit darker.
As for their style in décor, it was relatively normal if one didn’t account for the
fact that if there was an earthquake in the house, they’d lose millions of dollars in
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property for the entire house was covered in Murano glass statues, bowls, and glasses.
Oh, and the Murano glass chandelier in every room of the house.
“Jesus, and I thought my aunt was crazy for buying this overpriced crap,” Sven
commented.
Rose shrugged. “These guys do make your aunt seem pretty sane.”
“So does Uncle Hector.” She looked at him confusedly. “Never mind. Now I
know this is far off, but is possible to uh, well, learn these guys’ names?”
Rose cracked a smile. “We can always just ask Luke.”
Sven smirked. “Cause he’s such a great resource.”
Rose shrugged. “He’s okay. I mean, I think we don’t give him enough credit.”
Sven shook his head. “You obviously don’t listen to my aunt’s rants about the
guy.” They started climbing the stairs, annoyingly a long, tightly wound spiral staircase.
“Reckon this monkey figurine is made of Murano glass too?”
Rose smiled. “Did you just say reckon? I knew you were from Alabama.”
Sven would’ve made a comment, but something caught his eye. He walked up to
a dark stained wooden side table in the main upstairs hallway. On top of it was a photo
book. He started flipping through, a woman’s curly handwriting captioned under each
picture.
“Jackpot.”
They soon identified the three men from the pictures: a thick, baby faced blond
man named Clark, a tan skinned man with gelled black hair and a constant accessory of
sunglasses named Paul, and finally hipster looking guy with ice cold blue eyes named
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Miles. Their girlfriend was named Lydia according to one stray comment written on the
side of the woman in a bikini.
After they made sure that the book was back in order, they started stalking around
the rooms.
“Who do you think is the hitman?” Sven joked.
“Miles.”
“Hipster dude? Naw…”
Rose gave him a look. “It’s always the chill ones. Besides, did you see those
eyes? He had that look that your aunt had when he wanted to kill my dad in every
picture.”
“Well since he’s a hipster, I’m guessing it won’t be hard to find his room.”
They ended up finding his room almost immediately, noting the half-finished
canvases scattered across the room. It only took a few minutes to confirm that there was
no way that the statue could be in that room. They went on to Paul’s and Clark’s rooms,
only to have negatives as well.
“Do you think they stuck it in the basement or something?” Rose suggested.
Sven chewed his lip. “I doubt it. It’d be…I don’t know…are there any more
rooms up here?”
Sven and Rose turned around, spying the one room that they hadn’t thought of
checking yet. Slowly, slowly, they cracked open the door to a light pink room with a once
white carpet covered in stains and two beds, one child sized and one twin. Their breath
caught in their throats. There, lying in the child-sized bed, was a little girl.
“Oh shit…” Sven muttered under his breath.
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And, just their luck, they found that in the closet to the bedroom, was a safe. A
safe that was big enough to hold a monkey statue. The lock was an old fashioned lock
like the ones on their lockers, so at least that was a comfort. Well, that might’ve been a
comfort, but the digital lock beside it…not so much.
“Should we try to crack it now?” Sven asked.
“Do you know how to crack the rotating locks? And…can you guess numbers
well?”
“I can push combinations really fast.”
“I say we come back later and set up bugs. C’mon, we’ve done enough recon.”
“Should we make a key?”
Rose and Sven looked over and suddenly met the light blue eyes of the sleeping
little girl. “I think we can make a key later.”
“Maybe it’s friendly!”
Rose ignored Sven’s sudden brain death and ran out of the room and out the
window they’d started on, ignoring the pain she felt and the pain that Sven was voicing,
making a quick run to the car.
“Shit, what the hell just happened?” Sven asked, starting the car as quickly as he
could.
“The kid saw us while we looked like cat burglars!”
“Kid?” Dorian asked from the backseat.
“Okay, if I may say, epic fail recon,” Sven commented.
Rose tried to smile. “At least we…got their names and the safe location?”
“Assuming they don’t just put jewelry in there.”
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“I’ll ask my dad on safe cracking when we get home. He loves gloating about
those old jobs.”
Dorian raised his hand. “Um, I don’t know what you guys are talking about, but
now what are we doing?”
Rose and Sven exchanged a quick glance. “How does CityWalk in Universal
sound?”
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Chapter 9
Brother, Sister
“Why are you singing ‘Saturday’ on Wednesday?”
Ariadne looked up from supervising Sven in crafting a centerpiece for
Thanksgiving the next day as she quietly sang ‘Saturday’ by Fall Out Boy.
When it came to their fight, Sven decided to forgive after she agreed that
Thanksgiving would be spent without Corydon.
Sure enough, the would-be-obvious-if-you-knew-Ariadne question came from the
only family Ariadne had allowed to be invited to the small meal he and Sven were set to
have with the Crowes the next day.
“Hector, go screw yourself. At least I’m not singing ‘Friday.’”
Hector, the third oldest with a five-year seniority on Ariadne, had taken most of
their father’s genes with dark brown hair, strong male features, and a tall, toned figure.
He gave Ariadne a smug grin that fit perfectly into his features, his Evans grey-blue eyes
gleaming.
“Get over here you over hormonal bitch and give Hecky a hug!”
Ariadne rolled her eyes and gave her brother a loose hug, which he in turn
squeezed the life out of her with. Once he released her, David, Hector’s partner of five
years, took his turn hugging her. David was sort of the opposite of Hector with dirty
blond hair, caramel brown eyes, and a thin figure set with a lack of height. As well, his
features were just slightly more feminine, with noticeably long lashes and high
cheekbones.
“And your favorite brother-in-law!” David joked.
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“You’re my only brother-in-law, douche.”
David released him and walked back to Ariadne’s front door. Hector approached
Sven and gave his hair a ruffling.
“How ya doin’, Tigger?”
Sven pushed him away. “I’m not four anymore. Tigger is kind of a lame
nickname.”
Hector gave a dismissive wave. “Hey guys, you’re going to love this. Guess what
David and I got the other day?”
Sven and Ariadne exchanged a glance. Before either of them could utter a word,
David came in holding an African-American girl who looked between one and two.
Ariadne and Sven didn’t even realize that their jaws had dropped until Hector started
laughing.
“Her name is Emma,” Hector explained. “We adopted her from a private agency
from a teen mother. We figured we’d reward the mother for not aborting her, right? Birth
mom seemed happy with us and Emma’s grown on us. We adopted her almost two years
ago, but we didn’t really want to tell the family yet. I dunno, I mean, I guess it feels better
now that Dave and I can actually be married so we’ll tell the family at Christmas or
something. So, technically, you two are the first to know.”
“You gonna tell her about her that she’s adopted?” Ariadne asked.
David and Hector stared at her. “Considering we’re both white…”
Ariadne looked away in order to hide her blush. “I’m kind of on pain meds to the
max right now, so ignore any stupid remarks I make.”
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Hector winked. “I always do.” For a moment, he stared at Sven and a couple
splints he wore on his right hand. “What happened, Sven?”
He smiled weakly. “I went to Universal Studios with my girlfriend and I ran to
save us a seat for Jurassic Park but I ended up smashing my fingers against a pole. No big
deal.”
Hector nudged Ariadne. “Ari’s spazzness must be rubbing off on you.”
“Naw, just me and my freak accidents. How’s New York?”
Hector patted David’s back a few times. “Great, m’boy. Great. Hey, when are you
coming out to visit us? Bet we could get you a gig on Broadway.”
Sven laughed. “When I’m making my debut, I’ll be sure to lodge with you guys
assuming you don’t end up like the Jolie-Pitts with a bunch of adopted kids.”
Sven soon returned to his carving and Ariadne pulled Hector aside.
“Hey man, I gotta give you a heads up,” Ariadne said.
“Go ahead, chica.”
“The guy we’re going to have dinner with…well, he’s kind of really hot…”
Hector gave his little sister a look of disbelief. “Do you really think that I’d hit on
some hot guy? I’m married for God’s sake! Okay, I may not be married in this state, but
Dave and I love each other. Don’t worry, I won’t mess with him. Why, is he confused?”
“Straight and just lost the love of his life a few months ago.”
“Break up?”
“Died.”
Hector made a face. “Jesus, that’s harsh. Wait, if he’s still mourning, why are you
making him celebrate?”
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She shrugged. “I just want him to start getting his life back together. I mean, keep
in mind his wife left him a teenage daughter and you can see how much she relies on him
to be strong. It’s just—you know? I just wanna try.”
He smiled. “I’ll get him to smile, don’t worry.” He paused. “Wait, is the only
reason you invited me because you knew that I can never be a downer?” She looked
away, smiling. “Oh my God, you bitch!”
She laughed. “I love you, Hector.”
He took a deep breath and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Where’s this hot new
boyfriend?”
“You’ll meet him on Friday.”
“I better.”
*
*
*
“Hey Dad, can you teach me how to do that thing where you sense how to open
the spinny locks with vibrations?”
Crowe gave his daughter a confused look, unsure of what spinny locks were.
“Um…I guess I can…what are you talking about?”
Rose blushed. “Um, like the ones on my locker.”
Crowe’s eyes lit up. “Oh, those! Yeah, I can do that.” He eyed the sling his
daughter was wearing after apparently making an awkward movement at Universal on
one of the faster rides. “Want me to teach you how to fake being sick instead?”
She studied him. “Umm, sure…”
Rose uncertainly followed her father down to the kitchen where he grabbed a can
of condensed vegetable soup, cottage cheese, and a bowl.
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“Wait.” Rose said. “Why is my father teaching me how to convince my parents
that I’m sick so I don’t have to go to school?”
The thought hadn’t exactly occurred to Crowe. “Well let’s see if you can be so
good that you can fool me. I’d give you major props for that one.”
Around five minutes later, Crowe had successfully made realistic looking fake
vomit. Rose looked at the final product and made a face. “I think I’d rather just stick a
toothbrush down my throat. How is there even a universal recipe if you don’t necessarily
eat the same thing every day?”
Crowe bit his lip. “Take into consideration that in foster care they don’t exactly
remember if, let alone what they fed you.” He smiled. “Except if you’re Mattie Crowe.
Then they remember and punish any attempts with vigor. Oh, and technically the
universal method for this type of fake illness is to stick a finger down your throat,
although that method is not encouraged.”
“Why?”
“Bulimia is already a national epidemic. We cannot encourage purging, even if it
is for good reasons.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. “Missing school is a good cause?”
“It was in my day.”
A tense quiet came over the two as Crowe threw away his concoction. “Dad? You
never talk about foster care.”
Crowe became almost instantly distant. “It’s nothing you need to hear about.”
Rose ran to catch up with him and put a hand on his shoulder. “Dad, please. I
want to know about how you grew up. About Uncle Mattie.”
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He took a deep breath and sat on the couch. “Just note that I hate talking about
this, okay? When Mattie learned how to hear from me, I convinced him to always reject
anyone who’d try to adopt him because I knew that no one would adopt us both. We lived
in a huge foster care house with a million kids where the parents didn’t give a shit about
what we did and if we got taken care of. I was terrified that they weren’t taking care of
Mattie right, and I actually started developing extreme anxiety and ulcers and that went
from age eleven to about fifteen. Even when Mattie was old enough to hold his own in a
fight against kids his age, I still felt a compulsive need to keep him safe, even if it meant
getting my already beat up ass even more beaten up. When I was eighteen, they forced
me to leave Mattie behind where I had to move into an even shittier house than before
where I had to sneak between the foster workers in order to talk to him, every day using
every ounce of my selflessness to not pull him right out of foster care and run away with
him because I knew he had to finish high school.”
He pulled a pillow into him. “When money was tight, I resorted to robbing houses
and banks. My God Rose, I—I know exactly how it feels. I know what it feels like to
rummage through some innocent person’s personal belongings, knowing that they may be
some lady’s dead grandma’s only possession. It doesn’t matter that you’re just trying to
put bread on the table and be able to buy your little brother a new pair of shoes more than
once a year.” He covered his face with his hand for a moment, but put his hand back at
his side. “I know exactly what that monster was thinking when he shot Bianca. I know
that desperation. I remember going into houses with a gun in my pocket. I remember the
nerves, the queasy feeling after you take all of a woman’s jewelry…” Rose didn’t feel a
need to talk, instead putting her hand on top of her father’s shaking hand, wrapping her
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fingers around it. “If I could, I would take it back. Take it all back. Sometimes…God
Rose, sometimes I think…what if I never became a criminal? Would Mattie still be
alive?” He looked up to her. “Would you?”
“No point in wondering now, is there?”
Crowe shrugged. “Not really.” He hesitated. “Rose, you know…you know how I
feel about self harm and how you can talk to me about anything. I just—I would never be
able to live with myself I ever lost my little baby.”
Rose felt a stab of pain in her heart. “I’m not hurting myself, Dad. I’d never let
you down like that.”
He smiled weakly. “I love you.”
She kissed him on the cheek. “I love you too, Dad.”
*
*
*
The next evening, Hector had instantly become enamored with Demetri, which
wasn’t what Ariadne had in mind, but she supposed it was better than Crowe himself.
Then again, the fact that the fox was sitting at the opposite head of the table while
strapped in a child’s booster seat eating turkey was kind of odd.
And, well, Hector didn’t exactly let the fox take away from his instant reaction to
Logan being running to him and putting him in a bear hug.
“Ariadne, is this Hector or David?” Crowe called to the kitchen, where the cookby-force was checking up on last minute stuff.
Sven smiled, managing to look nonchalant in the trousers, a navy, grey, and
fuchsia argyle sweater vest, and white button down he’d been forced to put on. “That’s
Uncle Hector. Can’t you tell by the overbearing personality?”
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Crowe waited awkwardly until Hector let him go, putting the icing on the cake by
lightly patting his butt. By the time Hector actually caught gazes with Crowe, he was
blushing.
“Aw man, I’m sorry! You just looked so straight there! I promise, I won’t do
anything else,” Hector said trying not to laugh. “Where’s Ari Leigh? I gotta go make sure
she’s not poisoning me.”
Hector ran into the kitchen and David followed, apologizing for his partner’s
inconsiderate behavior. Sven slid in next to Crowe.
“So, more awkward than your in-laws yet?” he joked.
Crowe shrugged. “At least these guys haven’t mentioned how much they miss
Mattie yet. I swear, it’s like they knew the guy for maybe a year and then it’s suddenly,
‘Poor Mattie couldn’t join us!’”
“I wish Mattie was here!” Ariadne called from the kitchen.
“Shut up, man-eater!”
“HEY! I only had sex with him twelve times! You have no right to tell him if we
can miss each other or not!”
Crowe turned back to Sven. “Yeah, this is definitely more awkward.”
Ariadne, Hector, and David soon emerged from the kitchen.
“Wait, who’s Mattie?” Hector asked.
“My late brother,” Crowe answered.
Hector’s eyes widened. “Ariadne, you slut!”
Ariadne turned to her brother in an insulted shock. “Excuse me?”
“You sleep with a guy’s brother and then go out with him! That’s not cool.”
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Ariadne and Crowe looked awkwardly at each other. “Logan? You think I’m
dating Logan?”
“Aren’t you…?”
“I’m dating a Greek-Canadian named Corydon. Where are your sources?”
Hector made a face. “Oh, well…”
“Awkward,” David piped in.
Ariadne and Crowe took one step each away from each other.
After about twenty minutes, dinner was well underway and things were actually
kind of normal…well ignoring Demetri anyway.
“Do you ever get the feeling that Mom and Dad favored you?” Hector asked
Ariadne.
She gave him a look. “I don’t think they favorited.”
“What are you talking about? Mom and Dad took you on alone trips!”
“Alone trips? No, the one with Daddy went like this: at age twelve, Daddy took
every boy in the family out camping or fishing or something and he’d tell them about the
birds and the bees. So when I turned twelve, I didn’t like how I didn’t get that kind of
special time with Daddy so he agreed to take me and he gave me the exact same talk that
he gave all of y’all. Yes, he did, Jake and I compared notes. As for Mom, she locked me
in her bedroom and gave me the vaguest woman talk you’ve ever heard.”
Hector snickered. “Oh, now I remember…”
“Do you know what it’s like when your own mother gives you less details than a
seventeen-year-old Hector? It’s scarring.”
Hector gave a dismissive wave. “Don’t even. You know we bonded during that.”
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“During what?” Dorian couldn’t help but ask, Sven giving him a you’re going to
regret saying that look.
“So Mom and Daddy were out of town with Jake and Todd for a baseball
tournament or something and I’m left alone with this loser. And, what do you know, Aunt
Flo decides then to attack and keep in mind that Mom doesn’t own any pads. So I kindly
ask Hector to go to the drugstore literally five minutes’ walk from our house to pick up
some and a bottle of Midol. Yeah, doesn’t sound that hard, does it? But it is. Five
freaking hours later he comes back a box of the ones meant for spotting and forgets about
the Midol.”
“I thought that since she was twelve that she only needed the littlest size,” Hector
retorted.
Everyone at the table stared at him, although David was the one to make a
comment. “Heck, I love you, but you were an idiot.”
“Are,” Ariadne said into his wine glass.
“What did I do to you?” Hector said, faking pain.
“Uh, do you remember the time you Psycho-ed me?”
“There have been worse. What about Jacob?”
She broke a smile. “What about Jake?”
Her smiled spread to her brother. “You know…”
“Know what? How every girl in our school knew his junk size just because I
brought my friends home whenever you stole his towel and had him frantically running
around the house naked? Yeah, I didn’t have friends in high school because of that.”
“Yeah you did! What about that short kid during senior year?”
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Ariadne studied him. “You mean Mattie, Logan’s brother?”
Crowe suddenly perked up. “When was Mattie stalking you at school? I could’ve
sworn that I was the one who talked you up at school.”
“You did, but he tried too.” She snickered. “With really shitty pick up lines.”
Crowe groaned. “Oh God, I’m already embarrassed. Which one?”
“ ‘Are you from Tennessee, cause you’re the only ten I see.’”
Everyone except for Crowe snickered. “My God, I’m really sorry about that. He
was really bad at picking up girls. He did better when he just gave them his chick magnet
stare.”
Ariadne smiled. “I can give you a play-by-play. I’ll never forget that
conversation.”
Crowe smiled and shook his head. “Might as well now.”
Ariadne braced herself for a performance, physically getting out of her seat just so
she could come back to it in a more dramatic fashion. “So he waltzes up to my locker
with that swagger that he somehow established and he gives me the chick magnet face.”
Ariadne did her best impression of Mattie’s signature grin, a goofier, friendlier version of
the seduction grin Logan gave women to get them to melt in their tracks. “And he
delivers that pick up line, all smiley, his eyes gleaming. I mean, the guy really thought
this was how to pick up chicks. So I instantly can just tell that he really thinks he’s in
Tennessee. So it’s like five minutes til homeroom and I’m just humoring this guy who
has failed to tell me his name. So I jokingly tell him, ‘No, I’m actually fixed a bit more
south,’ and his eyes just light up and he goes, ‘Are you implying that something is wet
and you need little ol’ me to make it all better…in the sack?’ and gives me a wink.”
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David, Dorian, and Hector start laughing hysterically while Rose and Sven join in
a bit awkwardly after a few seconds. Crowe, on the other hand, merely smiled as he
facepalmed.
“I had such a failure as a brother…”
Ariadne was smiling ear to ear. “Yeah, but it doesn’t end there.”
“What did you say?” Crowe asked, unable to believe what his brother had said.
She threw her hands up. “Well, I was kinda thinking down south there too
considering Mattie was kind of a sexy beast back then, but I basically had to tell him that
I was talking about living more down south, as in we’re in Alabama. He kinda turned red
and awkwardly walked away.”
Crowe nodded. “Well at least he did that right.”
“And you wanted to marry this guy?” Hector commented.
“Hey! It turned out that he was ridiculously adorable!”
Hector glanced at Crowe. “Did he look like Logan?”
Ariadne and Crowe exchanged a look. “He kind of had the same teeth…” Ariadne
paused. “No, they looked pretty different.”
“I was taller than him,” Crowe added.
A few more minutes passed before something occurred to Rose. “Are we going to
say what we’re thankful for?”
The adults exchanged a few glances; if they allowed for deep Thanksgiving
confessions, something would end badly. Ariadne cleared her throat and stood up.
“Um, well, I’m personally thankful for the same things as every year. I’m
thankful that he,” she pointed to Sven, “isn’t a psychopath. I’m thankful that my liver
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hasn’t died on me yet. And I’m thankful for sex, vodka, and the fact that hippos haven’t
taken over the earth yet.”
Sven caught onto the trend immediately. “I’m thankful that Señora hasn’t failed
me because I accidentally said that I was thankful for tits instead of cake and for cake,
like I meant to say in Spanish class.”
Dorian was next. “I’m thankful for all the burger chains in the United States and
that you guys don’t actually ride fat people to school.”
Then Rose. “I’m thankful that instead of giving me a lecture on contraceptives,
my dad teaches me how to fake being sick to miss school.”
Crowe winked at Rose and paused for a moment, trying to think of the most
superficial thing he could say. “I’m thankful that Betty made it home alive.”
Ariadne frowned. “Logan, no sentiment!”
“Ari, Betty’s the name of my Maybach.”
Ariadne nodded. “Good boy.”
*
*
*
Friday, Crowe found himself finally willing to teach Rose how to crack open a
lock. Using an old combination lock of his, they sat down in the living room and began.
“For the standard forty-digit lock, there are 64,000 combinations. Daunting, right?
Well, I’m going to narrow it way down, and we’re going to use math, a.k.a. my second
best subject in school. We turn the dial to zero, but do a few rotations to make sure it’s
good. First, we find the first sticking point. What you do is pull the shackle tight upwards
and spin the dial clockwise until it stops allowing you to turn.” Crowe did this and the
dial stopped at 2. “Then you let it loose again and keep going around.” He released and
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turned the dial again, finding it between 3 and 4. “In this case, we’ll note the number as
3.5. Now keep doing this around until you have twelve numbers.” Once Crowe was done,
he had his twelve numbers. “You’ll notice that we have five whole numbers and seven .5
numbers. We want the five whole numbers. We’re left with 7, 4, 14, 24, and 34. So now
we take the number that doesn’t end the same as the rest, and divide it by four. So 7
divided by four would be one remainder three. Three, our remainder, is the third number
in our combination.” Rose’s eyes widened. “Now, we find the first number in our combo.
We take three and add four to it until you reach a number that isn’t over forty.” Crowe
wrote down all the combinations. “Now any of these can be our second number. For the
second number, we subtract two from 3, but note if your remainder were 0 or 1, you’d
add two. Anyway, we subtract two and get one.” He wrote down 1. “Now add four to this
number just as last time.” He wrote down the second list. “So now your search is reduced
down to eighty combinations, which I guess isn’t that great, but whatever.”
Rose bit her lip. “Thanks Dad, but is there a quicker way?”
“I can teach you how to make a shimmy out of a soda can.”
It only took Crowe a few minutes to teach Rose about the soda can. She mentally
checked off the master lock, but there was the problem with the safe’s dial. “Dad? How
do you crack open a safe with vibrations?”
Crowe smiled. “I have a little safe your mother used to use. C’mon, let’s play
doctor for a bit.”
Dorian suddenly made his entry into the room in order to find his iPod apparent.
“I hope you don’t mean the doctor game!”
Crowe made a disgusted face at his host son. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
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He shrugged. “I’m Australian.”
Crowe rolled his eyes and took Rose to learn how to crack a safe.
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Chapter 10
From Paper
Come Saturday and the trio were back at the house on Kelsey St. in Studio City,
watching as the men left the house.
“So what are we doing?” Dorian asked as per usual.
“We’re going to figure out the combination to the chain around the safe. Once we
have that, it’ll just be a few minutes with plugging in the combo then working with the
safe to get an answer. It’s precaution,” Rose explained.
Dorian blinked. “God you two and your technicalities. I swear, what am I here
for? Being your guinea pig to make sure that all your Californian burgers taste good?”
Dorian was holding a double decker from Bob’s Big Boy.
“Look man, if we end up in a code red situation, you’re going to have to man up.
Okay?” Sven said.
Dorian glanced at his burger. “Fine. I’m going to give you guys one hour before
you gotta be out of there. We don’t want to risk the three musketeers coming home and
finding ya.”
Sven and Rose exchanged a glance. Considered they broke a few minor bones
without even meeting the guys, there was no saying how injured they could get if they
actually shared an encounter. And, well, broken fingers and a slightly dislocated shoulder
were easy to shrug off. They knew they couldn’t be that lucky.
Using the open window right by the safe, Rose and Sven climbed back in and
Rose checked outside for the girl.
“Clear.”
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Sven cracked his knuckles. “Let’s get some shit rolling.”
“Alright. You got a notebook?”
“Check.”
Rose picked up the master lock and felt it stop between 2 and 3. “2.5 for the first
ring round.”
“Roger.”
“4.5.”
“Why do we always say Roger? I say we start saying Max.”
Rose shook her and smiled. It stopped at five. “Five.”
“Max.” Rose rolled her eyes and found that the next nine numbers were 8, 15, 9.5,
11.5, 15, 17.5, 25, 26.5, and 35. Sven glanced over at the sheet. “What does all that
mean?”
“Our whole numbers are 5, 8, 15, 25, and 35. Our number of choice is eight and
eight divided by four is two, so our third combo number is two. Note it.”
“Now what?”
“Our first combo number will either be 2, 6, 10, 14, 18, 22, 26, 30, 34, or 38. Did
you get those?”
“Wait a second!” Sven protested as he wrote down the numbers Rose listed off.
“Okay. Okay. Second number?”
“We go from two and subtract two, so our combinations are all multiples of four
up to thirty-six.”
“Huh? I’m in trig right now.”
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Rose gave him a look. “We’re in the same math class and trig is considered
intermediate high.”
He rubbed his temples. “I’m brain-dead. Please just list em?”
Rose lightly punched him. “4, 8, 12…”
Rose went on to list all the numbers in the second number combination
possibilities. Rose glanced at the list, took the pen from Sven, and circled the eight and
the two lists. “We have all the time now to try out our eighty combinations.”
Sven made an exhausted noise. “Are you serious?”
“It could’ve been 64,000.” She winked.
For the next forty minutes, they tried out every combination of the numbers
possible, getting more and more doubtful of their mathematics as time passed. By the
larger numbers rolled around, Sven was barely awake.
“Okay, now we’re on 34-24-8.”
Rose yawned and tried the combination, her fingers numb underneath the gloves.
She hardly even felt herself tugging on the shackle, her only indication of any success
being the sudden life in Sven’s blue eyes.
“You—we did it! We got the lock off!”
Rose looked down and sure enough, the lock had come undone. “Quick Sven,
what combination was that? Hell, what am I saying? It was 34-24…God, what was the
last one? I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Eight.”
Rose couldn’t help but plant him a kiss as she wrote down the combination in big
letters.
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“Should we crack the safe too?” Sven asked.
Rose shook her head. “We can do that during the heist.”
Sven smiled. “How do you think that is going to go down?”
Instead of using the window and risking any more injuries, they decided to go
through the back door, a door they’d noticed was generally left open.
“Rose?”
“Yeah?”
“Is this way too easy, or is it just me?”
Rose shrugged and closed the back door behind them, just barely crossing paths
with the three men as they grabbed seats in their car. For a moment, Sven and one of the
guys—Miles—caught glances. The man shrugged it off and kept going inside his house
and, for a moment, Sven almost felt a sense of excitement, as if he was playing some
video game and had just avoided getting caught by the guards.
*
*
*
Meanwhile that Saturday, Crowe ended up having Ariadne catch him in a pair of
pajama pants without a shirt. Ariadne’s first reaction was to laugh.
“Nice jammies, loser,” she joked, pulling on the fabric.
Crowe couldn’t decide whether to hide his blush or grab the blanket that was
strewn across the couch. “What are you doing here? It’s ten in the morning!”
She shrugged, now focused on reading the icon stamped on his pants. “Sven left
with your kids so I figured I’d hang out with you cause Corydon is working today and
I’m not technically allowed to loiter at the drug counter in Rite Aid. So, knowing you
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don’t have friends, I came to hang out with you. ‘Hello, my name is Trouble?’” She
finally fell over laughing.
Crowe pushed Ariadne away, ran upstairs, and threw on the first t-shirt he could
find. Ignoring that he ended up with a Transformers shirt, he went back to join Ariadne,
who was still laughing.
“Do you smoke laughing gas before you come here?” he joked.
She wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s just—you are just a geek and no one knows
it.”
He rolled his eyes. “Look who’s talking, Support the Troops.”
She was wearing a black fitted t-shirt that read ‘Support the Troops’ with a picture
of Stormtroopers.
“Screw you, Star Wars is da bomb.” She looked around. “What were you even
doing without a shirt? Vacuuming?”
He leaned into the kitchen counter. “I don’t know how you do this shit. When Bi
was alive, I had one parental responsibility: teach Rose how to drive. I mean, I didn’t
even get to run the barbeque or anything. It was just driving. Now—now it’s make this
appointment and that appointment, clean the house, buy groceries, clean the house again,
feed the fox when Rose forgets, clean the car, pay the bills, evade taxes as usual, clean
the fridge, pay the gardeners, and just—how do you do this?”
“I don’t evade my taxes.”
“That’s not the point! How do I even know what appointments Rose needs?”
“Eye doctor, regular doctor, dentist. It’s pretty simple.”
“What about gyno?”
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Ariadne gave him a look. “Is she sexually active?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Don’t bother with that one til that happens and/or she turns twenty-one. There ya
go, I crossed one thing off your housewife list.”
“How do single fathers do this shit, Ari?”
She shrugged. “Um, I’d recommend you not have a mental breakdown for one.
Then, oh my God, it’s this new invention that we call hire a maid. It’s for people like you
who can actually afford it. Then there’s a nice man who does your taxes for you and all
you have to do to pay your bills is tell them where the money is. Otherwise, dammit
Crowe, Rose should be feeding her own fox.” She paused. “Aren’t foxes illegal in
California?”
He nodded. “I bought him in frickin’ Wyoming. Don’t tell anyone.”
“I think owning a fox is the smallest criminal offense you’ve done. Wait a minute,
do you have a vet for Demetri?”
Crowe nodded. “I have many above the law friends. Just so happens that one I
know runs an exotic pet vet in his house in Beverly Hills and Hawthorne. It’s obviously
not legal, so don’t rat him out either. He’s the only friend I have in the South Bay.
Everyone else is still up in Bakersfield.”
She gave him a look. “Only you would have friends who are exotic pet doctors.
I’d take a drug dealer or forger any day. No, you need to know the strange ones.”
“Hey, I do know a forger.”
“Why don’t I know these people?”
Crowe shrugged. “You’re not cool enough, obviously.”
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Crowe walked toward his cleaning supply closet, but Ariadne pulled him back
and onto the couch in his living room. “Why don’t we just chill today? You work way too
hard…no…other things intended.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Last time you said that, you got me drunk.”
“No drinking today. In case you can’t tell from the Stormtrooper t-shirt and the
Arkham Asylum hoodie, I’m not exactly in party mode. I’m actually in fuck-I-want-todo-naughty-things-to-my-boyfriend-but-he’s-at-work mode. So yeah, um, what’s up?”
“I swear to God, when you die, your tombstone will say ‘Ariadne Leigh Evans,
the woman who told us way too much personal shit about her and made us all feel really
awkward.’ Besides, isn’t it fuck-I-want-to-do-naughty-things-to-my-boyfriend-but-we’reboth-goddamn-Catholic-freaks-and-can’t?”
She punched his shoulder. “Our religion has…near nothing to do with my mood
today. Hey there buddy, how are you in that department? You probably haven’t done it in
months.”
He gave a weak smile. “Four.”
Her eyes brightened. “When did you do it in July, bro?”
“Our seventeenth anniversary.”
“Ohhh. Right.” A few moments passed. “So…um, do you have any Mattie stories
to tell me?”
He shook his head. “How is it that a few months ago you’ll kill me if I said the
name Mattie and now you want to talk about him 24/7?”
She shrugged. “He was kind of the most adorable person on earth. I just like being
reminded of him.”
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Crowe rubbed his chin. “I need to shave, don’t I?”
Ariadne let down her excitement in thinking that Crowe had a story to share. “It’s
up to you.” She paused. “You look better clean-shaven.”
He nodded and went back to thinking. “Do you remember that playground we
went to back in Bakersfield?”
Ariadne considered it. “The one with the rocket ship?”
Crowe nodded.
Break.
The one word that Mattie Crowe embraced with a passion. Yes, Logan had asked
if he wanted to come with him to their old house, the house that he was born in. Truth be
told—and yes, he did tell his older brother this—he had no desire to learn about his past.
For him, life without parents was just life. It wasn’t like it made him a bad person, so why
should he go visit a house and try to imagine life if it were different? It’s not like staring
at a house would bring his parents back to life. So, he decided to look toward the future.
Ariadne.
The almost-sixteen-year-old from Alabama that he and Logan had picked up
nearly three years before that had blossomed into quite the young lady, something he
hoped that he could take just a little credit for. Plus, he loved her. It took him years, but
he finally knew it. He loved her.
There was one park that he remembered always playing at as a kid. A teenage
Logan would always walk him to the park and play with him in the rocket and pirate
ships. He loved it there, able to just forget about the overcrowded foster care home he
lived in and how kids at school picked on him when they weren’t pretending to be his
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friend. At the park, he could be anything, he could be someone that those kids would be
scared of.
He smiled as he watched a toddler wobble across him and Ariadne, remembering
his little niece back home with Logan’s once-insane-cop-now-wife.
“I bet it’ll be fun when Rosanna can start running around like that,” he said to
his girlfriend as they cuddled on the grass.
Ariadne smiled. “Don’t let Logan catch you calling her by her full name. You
know how he gets.”
Mattie rolled his eyes. “My brother’s such a tight-ass that everything he says has
become obsolete. C’mon, I wanna take you to the top of the rocket.”
Ariadne laughed. “Why?”
He kissed her. “Cause it’s a lot more fun to make out when you feel like you can
touch the stars.”
She shook her head. “I love how weird you are.”
A soft wind blowing, the sun covered by a sheen of clouds, Mattie led Ariadne up
through the platforms and circles that led them higher and higher into the rocket. Once
they reached the top level, barely able to contain both of them unless they scrunched into
each other, but with a breathtaking view of the town the Crowe brothers had grown up in.
“It’s beautiful,” Ariadne said as Mattie wrapped his arm around her.
He smiled. “I’ve always loved it up here. You just feel like the world doesn’t
exist.” He leaned his head onto hers. “I love you.”
She grabbed his free hand and rubbed hers hands against it. “I love you too.”
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Ariadne turned her head and gave Mattie a kiss on the neck, soon leading to their
lips meeting. A familiar warmth spread over her, a chill running down her spine. Their
arms snaked around each other and they fumbled to get into a better position. The pulled
away after Mattie nearly dropped Ariadne through the hole to get down, them laughing
nervously and slowly moving so Ariadne was sitting on Mattie’s lap, her legs wrapped
around his back.
“Feel secure?” he laughed.
She kissed his cheek. “With you? Always.”
He blushed. “Yeah, cause almost killing you every day is definitely secure.”
She touched his nose. “Don’t spoil the moment, babe.”
Just as usual, their kissing quickly came to touching, this time desperation added
from the fact that it was getting too cold.
“Does this feel good?” she whispered as she sank her hand lower along his toned
stomach.
He smiled. “Keep going. I’m not afraid of dirt.”
She chuckled and took a bit of pressure off her touch, hoping it could kept make it
more sensual. Judging from Mattie’s expression, either he was already enjoying himself
or he’d noticed.
“What do you want, boo?”
He leaned into her, his mouth nearly around her ear. “I want—”
“Mattie!”
Ariadne and Mattie pulled apart and looked down, only to find Logan. Mattie
rolled his eyes.
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“What?!”
“I’m leaving you here if you don’t get your butt down.”
He put on a slight pout face, it only clear to Ariadne that he was joking. “Come
get me!”
Logan cracked his knuckles to keep from actually following through. He didn’t
like being in the park, and his brother acting like a kid wasn’t helping. “Matthew, let’s
go! I swear to God, I will leave you here and you can take the bus home. C’mon
Ariadne.”
Ariadne gave Mattie a sympathetic look and started climbing down, knowing he’d
soon follow. As Ariadne clambered down, she spotted the toddler Mattie had pointed out
climbing onto the rocket with her older sister, a girl around her age. She gave a weak
smile and kept going down. When Mattie went past, he barely squeezed through the hole
and watched as the girl lifted the kid up to the next level.
Ariadne was already out, Mattie on the last level when he heard a scream.
Idiotically, the top half of holes and bottom half of holes were lined up, so he watched as
the toddler fell through at least three. He wasn’t sure if it was instinct or his time with
Rose, but he easily caught the child before she hit the metal of the floor Mattie was on, in
the process banging his head on the side of the rocket.
It took him a few seconds to process that the toddler was crying hysterically as he
climbed off that bottom level and out into the open to Ariadne and Logan’s shocked faces.
He smiled. “Look what I found!”
“Dude, I think you just saved that kid’s life,” Logan said.
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Right on schedule, the girl who had been with the toddler came running up,
snatching the toddler from Mattie.
“Oh darling, are you okay? You took quite a spill there. I’m so, so sorry,” she
cooed to the child, who began to calm down.
Logan twitched as if to confront the woman, but Mattie held his arm in front of
him.
“I got this. Warm up the car.”
Logan nodded and walked away as Mattie approached the girl.
“I like meaningful phone calls when you want to thank me,” Mattie said,
smirking, his hands clasped behind his back, rocking gently.
She took one look at Mattie and frowned. “Thanks.”
She began to walk away, but Mattie caught her. “Um, I believe I just saved your
fuckin’ kid’s life. Thanks? That’s all I get?” His expression softened. “I suppose I can’t
expect more from you. You never were one to give back.” Ariadne was beyond confused.
Who was Mattie talking to? He didn’t usually drop the f-bomb in the second sentence
when he messed with someone (it was usually the first). “What is it, bitch? You know you
remember me. You told me you loved me. You told I was hot. You told me you wanted me.
You left me after I fingered you. Yeah, don’t think I don’t remember. Well, I’ll have you
know that I am loaded right now with an amazing girlfriend who’ll actually give me
something in return and yeah, my job does pay more in one month than yours does in a
whole year. Oh, your boyfriend’s a dick? That’s too bad. Keep sucking for money hun,
cause it’s called irony. Now who’s not giving back?”
“Matt—”
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He shook his head. “No, it’s Mattie now. And no, I have a hot sports car to get
back to.” He motioned toward his Camaro. “That’s my Camaro. Now, if you’ll excuse
me, I must go back to my car where I can blast punk music while thinking about how
much I love Ariadne here and what I’m going to buy her on our second anniversary.” He
bent down to the girl and ruffled her hair. “You remind me of my little niece Rosie.
You’re very welcome.” He turned to the woman and gave a salute. “Stella.”
Ariadne leaned back into the couch. “That was the weirdest schooling I’d ever
seen.”
Crowe nodded. “I miss that Camaro.”
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Chapter 11
Amateurs
Come Monday morning and Rose couldn’t believe what she was going to do. She
went over the plan on her head over and over again, each second passing with her
doubting any abilities that would be required to complete her mission, walking and
talking included. Her dad—someone who had always been a comfort to see—suddenly
made her nervous to stand by. Focus Rose, she told herself, it’s not like you’ve never
been sick before. She looked down at her cereal bowl, doubting the entire mission all
together. What made them think that they could actually pull off a heist without her dad
or Ariadne’s help? She and Sven had just gotten lucky. Why risk it all for something she
still wasn’t even sure she had motivations for?
“Hey Rose, I’m gonna be out in Bakersfield today, so I’ll leave money on the
counter for pizza, okay?” her dad said as he poured himself a mug of coffee.
“Okay, Dad.”
Dorian was probably still sleeping, his estimated time of resurrection being in
about forty minutes. She and Crowe caught gazes for a second, both of them looking
back to what they were doing without any questions. Rose looked back down at the
cereal, angry at the world for actually making her hungry despite all the nerves. She took
one bite while her father was still working with his coffee.
“So why are you going to Bakersfield?” Rose asked, instantly regretting it. If she
were sick, she wouldn’t be conversational.
Crowe frowned. “Mattie died today fifteen years ago. I’m gonna go put flowers
on his and my parents’ graves. I didn’t want to bother you to miss school for it.”
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Crowe glanced at Rose again and she started the act, stirring the near soggy cereal
around. He waited a few seconds watching his daughter, something slightly off about her.
“Rose?” She pretended not to hear him. “Rosie?” She looked over. “Are you
okay, honey?”
Rose looked back down. “I’m okay. Tired, I guess.”
Crowe studied her. “You sure?”
She nodded and tentatively took another bite of cereal, her nerves actually doing
the shaking hand for her. The whole time, her father watched her, an unreadable
expression on his face. Another five minutes passed with Rose trying desperately not to
screw up the act.
“I’m gonna go finish getting ready,” she said, abruptly getting up from the
breakfast counter, nearly throwing her bowl in the sink, and half-running up to her
bathroom.
She shut but didn’t lock the door and pulled a toothbrush out. As she opened the
toilet seat and knelt down before it, she couldn’t help but have her father’s word of
bulimia run through her mind. She took a glance at the toothbrush and swallowed. God,
you are such a pussy! Just stick the damn toothbrush down your throat already.
Throwing any doubts, fear, or revulsion to the back of her mind, she turned the
toothbrush around and shoved it down her throat. She forced herself to focus on the
sound of her father’s footsteps as she threw up what little breakfast she’d eaten.
“Rosie, are you okay?”
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She coughed and slowly leaned back to wipe her mouth. When she looked at the
door, her dad was waiting in the doorway, a worried crease in his brow. She shook her
head, causing Crowe to walk in and help her to her feet.
“Oh sweetie, if you felt sick, you could’ve told me,” he cooed as he glanced at the
toilet’s contents and flushed the toilet.
“I-I hoped it would just go a-away,” she said, shaking in his arms.
He put a hand on her forehead. “You don’t feel hot, but I think you should stay
home.”
“But Dad, it’s the first day of the second trim—”
“I know, and it’s not worth getting sick at school. C’mon, let’s get you to your
bed.”
Rose played along as her father ordered her into bed and placed a glass of water
and a trashcan by her bed.
“Are you sure you’re going to be okay if I’m gone all day?” Crowe asked as he
got ready to leave Rose be.
She nodded. “I’ll probably just sleep all day anyway. But Dad?”
“Mmm?”
“Could you call me on my cell? I don’t think I should get out of bed to get the
phone.”
“Sure thing, honey. Feel better soon.”
He blew her a kiss and closed the door behind him. Rose waited a total of twenty
minutes in bed before pushing the covers off and calling Sven.
*
*
*
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“Next time we skip school, you get to be the bulimic,” Rose said as they drove up
to Studio City.
Sven laughed. “Okey dokey, chief. Although I think you should know that Aunt
Ariadne is a closeted germaphobe and quarantines me when I get sick. Yeah, you feel
that guilt?”
She smiled. “What guilt do you speak of?”
“By the way, um, where’s Dorian?”
“At school. I don’t really trust him alone with Bella, but someone had to not be
sick.”
Sven bit his lip. “Wait. So if we’re in your car and your dad took your mom’s
Lincoln and his Maybach is under shock fence, how did he get to school?”
Rose shrugged. “He either walked or got a ride.”
Sven raised an eyebrow. “Dorian walked to school?”
She nodded. “How did you get past Ariadne?”
He smirked. “I told her that I’d clean the house.”
She raised an eyebrow. “That’s it?”
“It’s Aunt Ariadne.”
Around an hour later, they pulled up to their usual spot, Rose dumping all of the
supplies between them as they sat in their moved seats to the back. Once they were done,
Rose had a switchblade, her DNA coverage, a stethoscope, and her Bluetooth while Sven
had a GPS screen with Rose’s Bluetooth on target, a microphone, and the feeding to a
camera and microphone that was installed into Rose’s hat.
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“Should I not wear shoes?” Rose asked, slightly recalling that the shoes she’d
picked up squeaked.
“Leave em. You know your escape route?”
“A, closet window, B, back door, C, front door, D, scale the balcony.”
He gave her a look. “And E, break a window, jump onto the roof, and scale
through the trees like a monkey. Yupp.”
She punched his shoulder. “Your deadpan sucks so much that it’s good.”
He gave an overly enthusiastic smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll be singing theatre songs
the whole time,” he said, using a pompous accent on the words ‘theatre music.’ As Rose
pulled on her extra clothes, Sven watched out for the guys.
At 10:27 am, Clark walked out of the house and drove off in a car parked on the
street.
At 12:43 pm, Paul took the blue sports car the guys parked in the garage out for a
spin.
At 1:02 pm, Miles put on a pair of sunglasses, stuck his hands in the pockets of a
silk jacket, and walked off toward the left and disappeared behind the bend that led off
the block.
At 1:06 pm, Rose and Sven exchanged a goodbye kiss and Rose exited the car.
*
*
*
If there was a God out there, possibly the only consistent reason Ariadne believed
in Him had to do with the fact that Elizabeth, Jasper, and her all had E block free. In other
words, every E block was like a mini party in their office.
“Ariadne, what are you smiling about now?” Barnett teased.
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“We are going to hack into—”
“The classified?” Barnett finished, an excited glint in his eyes.
She made a gun with her finger. “No, but that would be really awesome. No,
today we’re going to hack into my nephew’s Facebook, which, yeah, in theory is way
below my yooj, but whatever. That’s what we’re doing today. Where’s my coffee?”
Elizabeth handed Ariadne her cup of the strange mixture of coffee, Red Bull, and
the slightest dash of rum. She accepted the cup from Elizabeth and took a long swig.
“If it’s two something, why are you drinking that?” Elizabeth asked.
“I gotta have my coffee high while doing these kinds of hacks. Yes, I did
technically screw up my high school’s computer system so bad that every single staff and
faculty member shit their pants for seventy-five hours, but heyy, now that I’m a teacher, I
realize how much of a badass mofo I was so it’s all good.”
She typed in Sven’s email and stared at his password. “Now Sven, Sven, Sven,
Sven, Sven, Sven, what would our password be?” She tried GAVROCHE,
BADASSMOTHERFUCKER,
the spacebar, the enter key, his birthday, Rose’s full name, and
PYRO.
“What other interests does he have?” Barnett asked.
Ariadne bit her lip. “Well, he does have this aviation thing going on right now.”
Her eyes lit up. “Ace dog fighting. Jasper, what was the Nazi air force called?”
“Nazi air force?”
“Oh come on you loser! You’re teacher history! What were the German ace
planes called?”
“You mean the Luftwaffe?”
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“Yes!”
She typed in LUFTWAFFE and smiled at the results. As Ariadne started navigating
through Sven’s profile, Barnett studied his coworker.
“Aren’t you worried that your nephew wants to be a part of the German air force
that was most famous during the Nazi period?”
“Hell naw, he can go join the Neo-Nazis if he pleases so long as I find those
pictures of us drunk in Rome.”
Barnett attention instantly fled from the German air force. “What pictures?!”
Ariadne shook her head and she searched for Paris 2011 photo albums from every
kid on the trip, soon finding the only kid who took pictures that went past pictures of
pigeons (Devon).
“Fuckin’ Bella!” Ariadne hissed.
“What?”
She moved so Barnett could see a series of them drunk back at the hotel they’d
stayed at during their one-day Roman detour in early August. To say the least, it ended
with the two of them passed out on top of each other.
“Why are we the ones who always get the awful pictures taken of us drunk?”
Barnett questioned.
Ariadne caught his gaze. “I really wish I knew the answer.”
Elizabeth got past Barnett and doubled over laughing.
*
*
*
Rose flinched as she felt a tiny spot of blood ooze on her face as she pulled her
glove-less nails away from her cheek. When she looked at her fingertips, there was the
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tiniest spot of blood on them too. She huffed, rubbed the blood on her jeans, and stuck
her hand back in the glove. Calm down, Rose. Just an old nervous habit. She readjusted
her bandana, making sure it covered her nose and mouth thoroughly, despite the fact that
in doing so she felt more suffocated.
She entered through the back door, the temperature difference between the
chilling outside and the warm inside a bit too big a step for Rose. For a second, she
almost felt the world tilt, but closed her eyes until the moment passed. Deep breaths,
Rose. When she nearly slipped on the wooden floor thanks to her lack of shoes,
annoyance was added into the mix of emotions.
“How ya doing, Rose?” Sven asked, the slightest trace of laughter in his voice.
“I’d like to see you do this,” she hissed back.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Keep going.”
“You looking out for Miles?”
“Uh-huh. Yeah, hold on a sec. Mommy’s calling. Whazzup bitch?”
Rose took a moment to roll her eyes at the relationship that Sven and his aunt
shared that she would never understand. By the time Sven got off his phone call with
“Mommy bitch,” she was already a few feet from the little girl’s bedroom.
She stopped, tensing up like a child before a shot. She heard footsteps. No, worse,
she heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Her breath caught in her throat, escape plans
metaphorically being blown out the window of her mind. She looked left and right only
to find a closet. She ran in and shut the door, leaving her shaking the stuffy dark.
“Rose?”
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She didn’t dare answer. The footsteps sounded too loud to be one person. Her
heart dropped when she realized that the two people had walked right into the little girl’s
room. She sank down to her knees.
“Sven? Could you just start singing ‘All I Ask of You’ evading the Christine parts
for me?”
“Uh, sure.”
Sven’s voice as her background music, she waited and listened. Through the door,
she heard the half the footsteps stop, then able to identify one of the sounds as the tap of
high heels. So, it must be Lydia and Miles? Rose didn’t know, and, frankly, didn’t really
care seeing as Lydia seemed more like a toy to the guys over anything else. The tapping
stopped and an old spring creaked.
And then, she heard the voices. Voices someone like her had only heard in the
occasional R-rated comedy. She cracked the door open and slid out into the hallway, the
sounds instantly becoming louder. She took a deep breath, nerves and disgust combining
into one awkward emotion.
Rose hadn’t even noticed that Sven had randomly switched songs to ‘On My
Own,’ which really didn’t make sense considering it was a soprano/alto song always sung
by a woman. It was clear that he was trying to get her attention.
“Sorry, what?” she responded, her voice barely at a whisper.
“Am I hearing right?”
“Yes.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“How distracted do you think couples get during climax?”
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There were a few moments of silence. “Pretty distracted.”
Feeling about as awkward as one would get sitting outside one’s parents room as
they got it on, Sven and Rose—certified virgins—took their little information from
movies and overly detailed stories that Ariadne threw onto the table to make a move.
Rose had nearly fallen asleep, Sven’s now awkward lullaby swimming around her
head when Sven nearly yelled “go!” She got her bearings back, slipped through the door
and didn’t even bother to look as she slipped into the closet.
For a few awful seconds, her heart hammering in her chest, she listened for any
signs of disturbance. She waited. No footsteps. No talking. Just…kissing and a few quiet
squeaks of the bed. Rose took a breath but took a note to keep quieter.
Wait.
Rose paused.
Holy shit, what’s the combination?
Rose’s insides felt like they were melting, a rush of vertigo washing over her. She
couldn’t remember the combination to the safe. She and Sven had written it down on a
piece of paper that she’d left at home because she figured she’d remember. How was this
possible? How could her photographic memory fail her? She felt like crying or passing
out. What was she supposed to tell Sven?
“Are you done with the master lock?”
She shook her head. “Sven, I don’t remember the combination.”
She heard the gasp he tried to hide. In that moment, she knew that they had failed.
She couldn’t help but run her hands along her cheeks out of nerves, desperate to abort the
mission simply so she could actually rub her face with her bare fingertips.
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“Sven…help me…”
“Okay, okay, we can do this. Can you remember anything?”
“Sven, I can’t even remember my locker combo right now.”
“Okay, let’s think back. What exactly happened when we went up there? The
house was empty, um…Who taught you how to do these locks?”
“Dad.”
“What did your dad tell you to do?”
In her head, Rose went through the steps. She could still clearly remember the
process with her dad, but the numbers themselves had faded. What number was easiest to
identify? The last one, because it was just one of the numbers that the lock stopped on.
She glanced at the master lock and decided against doing the process over again. If she
could just get one number…
She remembered that it was low. And, somehow, it had pricked an emotional
reaction out of her. Yes, she could remember fighting back phantom tears on the way
back. What had it had to do with?
Her mother. Yes, it had to with Bianca. But what? What would a number have to
do with her mother’s death?
Eight.
Eight was the number, the number of the month that she had died in.
34-24-8.
She smiled and quickly fed in the combination, the master lock coming off easily.
She placed the master lock away from her and gently lifted the chain surrounded the safe
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from it, placing it a few feet from the lock. Luckily, the closet was carpeted. From
outside, it sounded like they had gone to the room next door, a shower hissing.
After giving Sven a visual on her progress, she took out the stethoscope and
started working on the safe itself. Turn until you hear a click, her dad had said.
She heard a click but overturned, having to start over. She couldn’t help but curse
how her father had made it seem so easy when he showed her. Turn until the click. Her
heart stopped when she heard the click for the second time, this time steadying her hand
and going the other way, barely turning a notch each time. Her hands were sweating
under the leather gloves and she wanted desperately to wipe the sweat off.
Her heart nearly jumped out of chest when she felt the third vibration…and
overturned again. She would’ve sworn aloud, but knew the risks. Mentally screaming
obscenities, she repeated the process for the third time. By the fourth time, she finally got
all the clicks timed right and she heard the last click of the safe opening. She let out her
breath, opened up the safe, and gasped.
Inside, standing about two feet tall, was an ebony statue of some kind of ape
wearing an implanted necklace of the brightest red rubies she’d ever seen. For a few
seconds, all she could do was stare at it in awe; even her mother’s jewelry drawers didn’t
contain this much pure rock.
She reached inside and tried out its weight, finding it a bit heavier than she
originally hoped. Once she had it out, she had to be careful not to drop it and make a
sound. Outside, she could still hear the shower going, so she picked up the statue and
started walking out. She started checking off rooms as she went. Closet? Check. Girl’s
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bedroom? Check. While on the other side of the hallway, ready to take the stairs, Rose
stiffened again.
The other two were downstairs. She could guess that they were sitting around in
the kitchen, directly below her. As far as she knew, there was only one staircase.
“Sven, new problem. The guys are blocking exit all of the above. The first two
guys are in the downstairs and Miles in blocking the closet window.”
“Are there any windows around you?” Rose touched the window in front of her.
As far as she knew, the drop down had no windows. But that wouldn’t help the statue.
“Isn’t there a window that leads to a laundry shoot downstairs?”
Rose’s eyes brightened. “Yes. I’ll drop the statue down the shoot and get out the
window up here. Sven, you’re a genius!”
She could almost feel him smile. “Thank you. Now skedaddle. We don’t know
how long these guys will be playing idiot.”
Rose set the statue on the floor by the chute and threw a large pile of clothes to
the bottom. From there, she took at least five hoodies and wrapped the statue in them like
bubble wrap. Lastly, she tied a few hoodies and scarves together, then able to lower the
statue for the most of the way. After throwing a few more pieces of clothing on top, she
ran for the window.
Luckily, this window also lacked a screen, so it was a simple task of opening the
window and closing it on the way down. When she reached the bottom with a thud, she
couldn’t help but envy her father for his work in Parkour.
She brushed off the leaves and went for the window by the laundry shoot. Once
the window was open, she huffed. Guess which window finally decided to have a screen?
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Rose, not in the mood to deal with properly removing the screen, took out the
switchblade and cut a hole large enough for her. Quietly, she stepped back into the house
and threw all the laundry onto the floor until she found her statue. Carefully untying the
hoodies, she set the statue on the floor and threw all the clothes back in. As a final
precaution before leaving, she shredded the screen enough for it took like a raccoon got
into the house.
She finally let herself relax once the statue was safely strapped into the backseat.
“Uhh, Rose…” Sven said as she got moved to get into the front seat.
Sven didn’t even need to. There, standing at the front door of the house they had
successfully stolen from, was Miles.
“Hey!” he said. Rose and Sven debated driving off or waving. Rose decided to
wave hesitantly. For a few long moments, no one moved. Finally, Miles smiled. “Next
time you play ninja, tell me!”
Sven and Rose looked at each other with dumbfounded expressions, Sven barely
able to yell out a response. “Will do, man!”
With that, Sven barely kept at the speed limit as they drove off, the blood slowly
returning to their faces.
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Chapter 12
Rise of …
“I still don’t get why I’m picking you up from a Lincoln dealership. Also, why
can’t you just pay someone to drive you home?” Ariadne asked Crowe an hour or so after
school had ended.
Crowe pulled out his wallet. “Number one, it’s not a Lincoln dealership. We now
refer to these babies as combination Ford Lincoln-Mercury dealerships. And next stop
within the next few days is the Chevy dealership. Second, why pay someone who doesn’t
say amusing things who’ll not charge me as much?”
Ariadne took the pile of tens from Crowe. “Okay, well fine. So where was yo
daughter, bro?”
Crowe adjusted the seat. “Sick. Dunno, she was kinda drained this morning and
threw up.”
Ariadne gave him a glance. “Fever?”
“Nope.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Was she just coo’ to go back to her room after the first
time?” He nodded again. “Logan! So you can rule out food poisoning and stomach flu
and I assume you can tell whether or not extreme symptoms are commonly associated
with her period. What the hell do you think she has?”
He looked out the window. “I don’t know, but would you send Sven to school like
that?”
“If he had no fever or copious vomiting, I would say he was faking and send his
sorry ass to school.”
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“Ariadne, and I can’t help but notice you switching between ghetto speak and
college professor speak.”
She gave him another look. “Does it matter? Look bro, you got doped.
Bamboozled. Some other word that doesn’t really exist. Look, okay man, look. Your
daughter tricked you. She’s not really sick.”
He shook his head. “You don’t know Rose like I do. She’d never fake being sick.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, you think that cause you’re her daddy. You’d
never think your little angel would ever do anything bad. All dads are like that.”
“You don’t know that.”
She raised a finger. “Allow me to give you an example. My daddy only had me,
y’know, the baby of the family and the only daughter. When I came home at eighteen
after the Mattie incident, he was convinced that the farthest I ever got with Mattie was
one American kiss underneath the Eiffel Tower.” She paused. “A week before that,
Mattie and I role-played a hooker and a big cat businessman, gave each other strip teases
and had hot sex for twelve hours. My brothers even referred to him as Cherry Sparrow.
Daddy still thinks I’ve only had sex once with a misguided Catholic boy.” Crowe’s
expression was clearly dumbfounded. “Dat’s right don skillet, you’ve officially joined the
idiot parade.”
“What the hell are you saying?”
“Okay look man, I had too much stuff a few hours ago.”
He gave her a look of shock. “You did crack in the school?”
She gave him a look. “No, I had über caffeinated coffee and Red Bull. Anyway,
as I was sayin’, Rose got you. Try calling her.”
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He pulled out his cell phone. “But you gotta tell me where Sven is.”
She waved her hand dismissively. “He’s cleaning the house.”
He raised an eyebrow. “And I just joined the idiot parade?”
“Y’know what else I hate? So I call Sven today and he tells me that he’s dusting
or something. But you know how he starts the conversation? ‘Whazzup bitch?’ Who
starts a conversation with their aunt like that? If it’s not that, it’s ‘What’s chillin’, ho?’
What do I have to do for some respect?”
Crowe stared at her. “You speak ghetto with me and expect someone to take you
seriously?”
“Hell yeah! I think that little bitch should be giving me summore creds, y’know?
Like, if it wasn’t for me, he’d still be a little hick. I’m the one who taught him about
ghetto speak and watched Scrubs with him where we picked up the rest of the lingo. Like,
c’mon Logan! Give me one reason that I should be his homeskillet?”
“I still have no idea what you’re saying.”
She snapped. “But you know what else? It doesn’t matter cause when I have kids,
guess who gets to be named Chewbacca while I don’t know the kid’s gender? But
y’know what I realized while teaching the kids how to pronounce Les Misérables? I can
technically talk to all my half-children right now! I can name them all now too cause they
don’t have a sex! ‘Cept, a’course, Chewbacca is the name of the one that actually gets
fertilized and the other names are obsolete cause…y’know, they’re either going to never
exist as children or die with me when I die. Or…I don’t know, menopause or something.
But dude, I have like thousands of eggs to name! Do you realize that?”
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He couldn’t stop staring. “Ariadne, do you want to have more reasons to cry
during your period?”
She rolled her eyes. “Obviously I’m not naming the ones who are going to die
within the next month!”
“Then I suppose you can’t name over a thousand eggs.”
“Bro, I have hundreds of thousands. I have a lot of them to name. But you’ll see,
Chewbacca will be the best not-gendered fetus you’ll ever see.”
Crowe took a deep breath. “Why did I let you drive?”
She shrugged. “You know what I hate about driving?”
“Priuses?”
“Yes! Well that and people who pimp out their hatchbacks. It’s like, yo loser, we
know that you’re a stay at home mom of three who assists in school art projects. Making
your engine bleed my ears out will not bring some sexy dude to sweep you off your feet.
But you know what’s the worst?”
“People who pimp out their Prius?”
“Oh my God, yes! Like, didn’t you buy that car because it doesn’t make any
noise? Well, I admit that sound is kinda like the sound that sports fans make and when
those inexperienced guys to catch their breath after—”
“Yeah, it sucks. So uh…about Rose…” He put his hand over his face. “There was
a toothbrush next to the toilet…”
Ariadne nodded. “Welcome to the idiot parade.”
*
*
*
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Hayden Barro. You’d think it would be easy to look someone up and get their
address? Not for Rose and Sven, both of them too stubborn to call Luke again for an
address. Instead, they resorted to searching Sven’s iPhone Safari app for any Hayden
Barros, quickly finding one that lived in Beverly Hills.
By the time they reached the house an hour or so later, they were both
dumbfounded by the pure size. It was by far the largest house either of them had ever
seen, Rose only able to compare it to the home one of her family friends had in Aspen,
Colorado, a home that lay on top of acres of mountain space.
“How big do you think it is?” Rose asked Sven as they drove through the
driveway, an odd lack of gates around the property.
“I dunno. A couple acres? Probably over five bedrooms. Really effing intense.”
“Should we just…go up there and give her the statue?”
Sven shrugged and parked the car. “Guess there’s only one way to find out.”
Rose checked to make sure she looked normal as Sven grabbed the statue, his
expression that of amazement.
“Damn this thing has a lot of red on it,” Sven muttered as they walked to the front
door.
“Should we just say we—?”
“Were sent by Luke. Say we’re giving this on behalf of your father.”
“What if they call my dad?”
“We’ll tell her to write a nice thank you card instead. C’mon.”
Before Rose could hesitate any further, Sven rang the doorbell, the sound echoing
throughout the massive house. After a few minutes, a tall woman in her forties answered
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the door, her long, light brown hair in a side ponytail and wearing an expensive girly shirt
with light washed jeans and high heels. She gave a welcoming smile.
“May I help you kids?” she asked in a sort of quiet, nice voice that one would
envision a young teacher to have.
“Um, we were sent here by Stanley Luke. We uh, have your monkey statue,”
Sven said, offering the statue to the woman.
The woman’s green eyes glistened. “You have no idea how much I have to thank
you guys for this.” She looked at Sven and Rose, particularly Rose. “You look oddly
familiar to me.” Sven handed the statue to the woman, who then pursed her lips. “You
mentioned Stanley Luke, right?” She snapped her fingers. “Logan Crowe. Are you Logan
Crowe’s daughter?” Rose figured she’d nod. The woman held out her arm. “My name’s
Hayden Barrow. Your dad and I were old friends.”
Rose gave a smile. “My name’s Rose and this is my friend Sven. I’m sorry my
dad couldn’t be here. He asked us to give this to you.”
Hayden nodded. “Thank you again. Truly. Give me one second.” She retuned
with a stack of bills. “It’s a couple thousand for the reward.” She handed Rose a stack of
fifties. “And a little present for the messengers.” She placed another fifty in each of their
hands. “Truly, thank your dad from the bottom of my heart. This was a family heirloom
and it broke my heart when the Katz took it. I’ll be sending my gratitude to your father.”
Sven caught that. “Could you send a letter?”
Hayden laughed. “Of course, if that’s how Logan still rolls. Could I have an
address?” Rose gave her the address. “So who did Logan end up settling down with?”
Rose bit her lip. “An Interpol agent named Bianca.”
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She raised her eyebrows. “Interesting considering their careers. Well it was an
honor to meet you, Miss Crowe. Enjoy.”
They offered goodbyes and the two got into the car smiling. However, after a few
minutes driving, Sven’s smile faded.
“What’s wrong?” Rose asked.
“We have to split this money with Dorian.”
*
*
*
Back in Crowe’s garage, his mind was swimming, unable to believe what Ariadne
had told him. Rose wouldn’t lie about something like that, right? Or rather, why would
she? She wasn’t a truant student. Why—?
His cell suddenly started ringing. For a few seconds, he didn’t realize that he
should be doing something.
“Oh my God Logan! Answer the phone!” Ariadne groaned.
He picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey dumbass, can you read?” Luke replied from the other end.
“Well good fucking evening to you too.”
“Crowe! Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea what you did?”
“No actually, I have no idea. What did I do, Stanley?”
“The statue! The goddamn statue, Crowe! How could you give it to the wrong
person?”
Crowe’s heart stopped. “The statue? Luke, I denied that job. I have no idea what
happened to it.”
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“What are you—Logan, you told me a week or so ago that you wanted it. The
Katz HQ was infiltrated around one today and the statue was moved into some chick
named Hayden Barrow’s house.”
Crowe crinkled brow. “Wasn’t it supposed to go to Hayden Barro anyway?”
“Yeah, the Hayden Barro that lives in Palos Verdes! Not the one in freaking
Beverly Hills. The one who was supposed to get the statue called and said she never
received it. What the hell is happening?”
“You’re asking me? I didn’t accept this job, Luke.”
“Well you did, so stop screwing with me and tell me why the hell a million or so
dollar ruby and ebony statue ended up in the hands of Hayden Barrow, some chick in
Beverly Hills!”
“For the last time, I swear—Luke, I don’t have time for your bullshit. Call me
back when you drop from your cocaine high.” Crowe huffed as he hung up. “How dare
that bastard accuse me of accepting the job? I declined him nearly a month ago.”
Ariadne bit her lip. “Logan…you’re not going to like this, but I think I know why
our kids came back from ‘Universal Studios’ with injuries and why they both wanted to
skip school today.”
Crowe looked her right in the eyes. “No…”
“Yes. They took the job.”
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Chapter 13
Lectures
If Crowe thought his mind was swimming before the phone call, he was drowning
by the time he walked into the house. He barely registered Ariadne telling him something
as he nearly ran up to Rose’s room. He couldn’t just accuse her of accepting a job, could
he? Ariadne’s conclusion was pretty irrefutable. He forgot to knock and found Rose
exactly where he’d left her.
“How ya feeling, Rosie?” he asked while desperately trying to hide the tone he
wanted to use.
She shrugged. “Better.”
He walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. “Is that so? Have you
vomited any more since I left?”
Rose shook her head. “I slept a lot and didn’t really eat or drink anything.”
He nodded. “Yeah, cause if I remember right, the flu would’ve involved a fever
and food poisoning would’ve been more intense than that. You don’t get sick during your
periods.” He raised an eyebrow. “Can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with you.” He lay
next to her on the bed and once again felt her forehead. “No fever.” He studied her.
“Normal color. Would’ve expected you to be pale, especially since it’s only been ten
hours. I can’t imagine you get ulcers like me. What do you think’s wrong, honey?” Rose
couldn’t meet his gaze. What made her think that she could fool her dad? She flinched
when her father’s fingertips brushed her face. She couldn’t help but turn toward him, his
expression curious. “What do you think, baby?”
“I don’t know.”
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Her father smiled. “I found the toothbrush you left out and your breath smells like
garlic. Gig’s up.” An overwhelming feeling of shame washed over her, but was soon
replaced with dread as she looked into the suddenly furious eyes of her father. “Care to
join me downstairs? We have a thing or two to talk about.”
“Dad—”
Crowe pushed himself out of bed. “Funny thing happened today. While returning
from turning your mother’s car into the dealership, I got a phone call from Stanley Luke
saying how much of a screw up I was for giving a statue to the wrong Hayden Barro but
the funny thing is that I declined that exact job a few weeks ago. Now, mind you, I didn’t
want to believe Ariadne, but you and Sven made it way too easy. Now get out of bed so I
can talk to you, Sven, and Dorian together.”
Rose followed her father’s orders and watched as he pulled Dorian out of his
room and was met by Sven and Ariadne in the living room. Keeping her gaze on her
socks, Rose fell into the couch next to Sven, Dorian going next to her. As Crowe stared at
the ragtag team of teenagers he called his daughter, his work partner’s nephew, and his
host son, he couldn’t help but laugh.
“Are you guys serious?” he asked between fits of chuckles. “How stupid do you
think we are?”
Sven looked away for a second. “Can I answer this individually?”
Ariadne took her time away from her phone to glare at him. Crowe stopped
laughing.
“I’m sorry, I’m just shocked right now. Who wants to tell me what the fuck you
guys were thinking? Let’s ignore lying to us about injuries and where you went for an
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entire week, skipping school, and manipulating us. So what made you guys think, ‘Oh,
okay, let’s go risk our lives with the little experience we have with real criminals?’ What
did you guys think you had? You had neither right nor experience to go after criminals
like that. You’re lucky that I found out this way and not from getting a phone call from
the police saying they found your dead bodies in the sewage next to Studio City. And
Dorian? You brought Dorian into this? Newsflash kids! Dorian’s an exchange student!
You don’t bring foreign kids into your little crime adventure! Do you have any idea what
kind of trouble he would’ve gotten into if you were caught or worse? How do you guys
think I would explain to his real family that their son was murdered while in an
exchanged program? How dare you treat Dorian so lowly that you’d consider him a toy
in your little mission?”
“Mr. Crowe, please don’t blame Rose and Sven for all this. They gave me the
option of keeping the wool over my eyes. I chose to get my nose dirty. I accepted the
money. Please—”
Crowe’s expression suddenly looked a lot scarier. “Money?! You risked your
lives, mine and Ariadne’s sanity, and an entire criminal ecosystem for money? Are you
two even aware that you’re both goddamn rich? My God, what the hell is wrong with
this? Please tell me that you three see it!”
Rose intervened. “What criminal ecosystem are you talking about? So we gave a
statue to the wrong lady. Big deal.”
“Are you even aware who that lady is? It would’ve been one thing if you gave the
statue to Hayden Barro a.k.a. the international forger. The Katz would’ve had free reign
to go after the statue again. This Hayden Barrow? Well first of all, did one of you even
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realize that I spelled Barro without a w? This woman—she’s a civilian! If she gets
murdered, the death is on your heads! The Katz are going to think they got set up, my
Barro will rat out Luke who still happens to think that I committed this crime, and then
I’m toast. Did any of this occur to you?” He put his hands in over his face. “God, how
could you guys do this? How could you let this happen? Do you have any idea what all
this means?”
“We’re grounded?” Sven guessed.
“Oh Jesus, grounded is just the beginning. Just wait til I find the chapter on
extreme crimes in this parenting book,” Ariadne commented as she leafed through some
e-book.
“Oh no, you’re going to wish it was just grounding. No, what you guys set up
requires a very clean cut heist to get the statue away from richie Hayden Barrow. And
guess what else? You three couldn’t do it with another decade of hands on experience.”
Ariadne looked up. “So are we doing this?”
“No Ariadne, we’re not. We’re not the ones who started this shit. No, our children
are going to fix this.”
“But you just—” Rose protested.
“I know what I said, Rosanna. You’re not going to be stealing anything. No,
you’re going to go march up to the police and tell them you were bribed to rob a house.”
Every set of eyes in the room widened at Crowe’s words.
“Do you have any idea how many years of juvie we’d get for that?” Sven
protested.
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“Yeah, whoa there Logan, that’s a bit extreme. Po-Po are a no-no,” Ariadne
added.
Crowe looked to Ariadne. “I happen to not find it extreme in the least. If these
kids think that they’re so grown up and ready to accept illegal B&E jobs while dealing
hands with deadly criminals, then they can handle a police confession and a few years in
jail.”
“Logan—” Ariadne protested.
“No. If we don’t teach them a lesson now, they’ll never learn until they end up six
feet under, and I won’t bury another member of my family.”
With that, Crowe stalked off, Ariadne following behind. She ended up catching
him as he walked out the door.
“Logan, stop! I know.” He turned around, the pain finally showing itself around
the edges of the fury. “I know that you feel betrayed and scared. I know that you feel like
your life’s heading for a tailspin, but you have to understand. These kids are just that,
kids. We can’t expect a juvie sentence to fix anything. Besides, think logically. If they go
to jail, the cops might come sniffing around us, and you know we’d get at least twenty for
what we’ve done. Besides, Sven and Rose have such bright futures that we can’t ruin
with a jail sentence. Hell, we can’t even keep Dorian in the country long enough for that.
Yes, our kids fucked up. I know that. I know that we have to do something about this, but
I think they’d learn the most from the experience if we were there to support them.”
“Babying them won’t keep them alive, Ariadne.”
“And crushing their dreams won’t keep them alive either.”
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He covered his face with his hands. “God Ari, tell me that this isn’t happening. I
can’t lose Rose. I can’t lose my baby. I’ve lost everyone…I can’t lose her. How can I
protect her, Ari?”
She rubbed his back. “Loge, you’re not going to lose Rose. You know you’d
never let that happen.” She grimaced. “There’s really only one solution to this.”
“We’re going out again?”
She nodded, slowly. “We have no other choice. We have to get that statue back to
your Barro before something happens to the richie.”
“We can’t just keep doing this for them. What are they learning by having us do
the dirty work for them?”
“They’re going to do this with us. Well, I’m not sure about Dorian, but Rose and
Sven definitely will. They’ll learn, Loge. It’ll be weeks of sleepless nights where we’ll be
expecting the same academic performance as always. This isn’t like Paris. There’s no
breaks, no relaxing. It’s going to be work, work, work and they’ll get it. I promise. Rose
will learn.” Crowe and Ariadne exchanged a long glance. “She has your spark for life,
Logan. Don’t forget that.”
The anger had drained from his face, leaving him deflated. “I promised Bianca
that Paris would be my last job. How can I betray her?”
Ariadne sighed. “And Corydon’s not going to like me going back into the field.”
A while passed with them staring somberly at each other. “Are you sure we’re
going to do this?”
She nodded. “We have to keep our children safe, Logan. This is the only way.”
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Chapter 14
Sacrifices
Logan loved the rain. He’d loved the elements his whole life, having been forced
to grow up in the Central Valley, where the sun bore down too much and too heavily for
him to take a liking to it. He loved the peace of watching rain roll down windows on a
cold day, loved measuring as snow rose in the wintry areas. If it wasn’t for Bianca’s love
for the South Bay, he was sure he would’ve ended up living in Oregon or Washington,
surrounded by the elements and nature nearly 365 days a year.
That thought in mind, he found himself hating how he felt, because the rain
pouring down on him was just one of the ways his mood had plummeted since
discovering Rose and Sven’s deception that Monday. It had been three days of quiet
between the two of them, even though he had explained the revised plan to her.
His usually short hair had instantly begun sticking to his face, the rest of him
soaked to the bone after a few minutes. And to top it all off, Rose had brought her car to
school and he was left with his Maybach, which was getting just as soaked as him.
He sunk into the grass, the water splashing around him, soaking through his pants.
In a way, he thanked the rain; he didn’t have to wear sunglasses to mask any tears that
escaped his eyes. He set out a bouquet of flowers next to her grave.
“Bianca, my love, you have to understand. I wanted Paris to be the last job. My
God, I wanted, needed it so bad. Ever since you died, I thought I could be the bigger
person. I haven’t gone after the monster who killed you, even though it’s been eating at
my insides since the day I found you gone. I’ve tried to raise our daughter as if she didn’t
have a family history of being thieves. I love her so much, at least as much as I love you.”
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He swallowed. “I lied to myself, pretended that nothing was wrong. I know that Rose’s
recent behavior is because of your passing. I’m not saying that it’s your fault though; it’s
mine. I should’ve been more of a support to her, should’ve been watching her. She misses
you so much, Bee. We both do. God Bee, I just—I don’t know what to do. Rose is in
trouble and the only way to get her out of it is to break the last promise I ever made to
you. I know if you were here, you’d tell me to man up and protect my daughter, but it’s
just so…God Bianca, you died because of this life. You died because of my dark soul. If I
hadn’t had to work with the Murder one last time, you wouldn’t have died, or at least I
could’ve died instead of you.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Why can’t I accept the
answer, Bee? I don’t want to disappoint you. I love you too much to ever disappoint you
ever again.”
He swallowed. “When I think of us, I can’t stop thinking about how ashamed you
must of me, how childish I must seem to you. I’m trying, Bianca. I am. I’m just—I’m just
so lost without you. What I’d give to just hear your voice one more time, feel your
warmth one more time as we cuddled in bed, been able to tell you how much I love you.”
He stood up, ignoring the chills running down his spine. “I hope I don’t
disappoint you again, Bee. But you have to understand…I have to keep our baby girl
safe. You remember, don’t you? That night in the hospital when she was just holding in
there, the diaper they gave her so big that it took up half her body, how fragile she looked
under that little pink preemie cap…I promised you that I’d never let anything happen to
our daughter. I might’ve failed you, but I won’t fail her. I’m sorry, Bee. I love you.”
Although Crowe had come prepared with towels already lining the interior of his
car, his nerves were far from gone. Right as he was about to back his car out, a sudden,
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burning pain surfaced a bit above his navel. He let go of the gearshift and pressed his
hand against the area, gasping as the pain sharpened.
To his relief, the pain stopped after a few minutes, or at least lessened enough for
him to be able to drive home.
“God, I hope Ariadne is doing better than me,” he muttered to himself as the pain
made him wince.
*
*
*
Ariadne was never really one for stress. It just wasn’t really something she
experienced. Sure, she had down days, but she’d never really had doubts about anything
she ever did. She’d gone through life taking whatever decisions had to be made and left it
at that, even if she did later regret it. But worrying, over thinking, and stressing—despite
being a teacher—had never been part of the deal.
So, from the inability to process stress, Ariadne procrastinated confronting
Corydon about her decision to join Crowe. She couldn’t imagine his reaction and hated
being in the dark. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, and something in her gut
told her that it was inevitable.
So, she put it off. When he came over for his little visits that week, she kept the
relationship physical and the talking casual. They barely got to exchange two words
about their work days before Ariadne was forcing herself onto him, and he never
protested.
Until Friday of that week, anyway.
“Ariadne, something’s wrong,” Corydon said as Ariadne gave him a hickey.
She pulled away. “Why you say that?”
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Gently, he turned her face to meet his gaze. “You’ve been edgy all week and we
haven’t talked at all.”
She leaned back into her bed and chuckled. “Why would you think I’m edgy?
We’ve been having fun.”
He nodded. “I know, but look—you’re not acting yourself. Normally you’d at
least tell me about the latest update in the Star Wars community or make some joke about
Canada. It’s not like you to be quiet. You know you can tell me anything.”
Ariadne chewed on her inner cheek. “What exactly is anything?”
Corydon edged in closer and put his hand on her face, caressing it. “You know
that there are no taboos between us. What’s on your mind?”
She took a deep breath. “Are you sure?”
“Absolutely. What’s bugging you?”
“What’s your opinion on loyalty?”
He smiled, relieved to find her little problem to be lacking any substance or
cheating issues. “I think it’s very important in relationships, not just counting romantic
ones. I think a loyal person is one that should be kept around. As for you, if we’re
questioning our loyalty—”
“I don’t mean loyalty in our relationship.” The words whipped the conversation
into silence like putting a knife to someone’s throat. She hesitated. “I mean my loyalty to
my family…”
He crinkled his brow. “Your family? Like your siblings? Sven?”
She licked her lips. “Kind of Sven…kind of Logan…”
“Logan Crowe?”
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“Yes. Let me just say, that our relationship is not a romantic one. It’s more of a
job sort of thing…”
He started twiddling his thumbs, causing Ariadne’s nerves to rise. “Your…job.
Like your gang?”
She cringed at the word ‘gang.’ She started to speak, but swallowed instead.
“They need me, Cor. Sven and Rose were idiots and caused some trouble and the only
way to fix it is for Logan and I to intervene. We’re not even technically stealing anything.
This target object belongs to someone else. There’s no profit in it for us…”
Corydon’s usually soft brown eyes suddenly looked like reflective mirrors, the
depth she’d always loved gone. He stood up. “How could you do this to me, Ariadne?
You promised. You promised that that part of your life was over!”
She suddenly felt one inch tall. “I know I did, Cor. This just came up and I didn’t
want to accept the job, but you don’t understand. If I don’t take this, Sven and Rose
might be in actual danger. They need me.”
“Throwing your life back on the line isn’t worth whatever you’re gaining out of
this. What suddenly made all the awful things you said about crime any different? You
don’t have to do this to keep Sven safe.”
Ariadne got up too. “You just don’t get it. This isn’t some one sided, black or
white story, Cor. I’m not going to steal anything from anyone. It’ll just be this one job
and then I’m done.”
“Done? This one job? Funny, cause I swear that I’ve heard that one before? Oh,
that’s right, you said the exact same thing to me before you burned down a building in
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Paris! How can I trust you anymore? You asked for one chance when we got together. Do
you remember that?”
She nodded. “Of course I do, but this isn’t the same! I’m not doing this for fun.”
“You sure didn’t mention fun back in Paris. You seemed to mention justice and,
oh yeah, Sven’s well being. What well being are you talking about, Ari? You think that
because you got Sven a solid college fund that he wasn’t mentally scarred and apparently
exposed to an addiction that you have yet to kick?”
“What addiction do you think you’re talking about? I don’t binge drink anymore.”
“Drinking? You think I’m talking about your drinking? Dear Lord Ariadne, try
your crime addiction! If you meant what you said about one more chance, we wouldn’t
be having this discussion. You’re addicted to it and let me tell you, I won’t stand by it.”
Ariadne ran her hand through her hair. “Jesus, why won’t you just listen? This is
about protecting my family, not about cheap thrills. If there was any, any other option, I’d
take it! But guess what, Cor? Life’s not fair. I got dealt the shitty cards. Yes, you gave me
one last chance and I’m blowing it. But if you loved me as you so claim, you’d know that
I’m being completely honest with you and that I deserve one more chance. I need you,
Cor, and I need to know that we can trust each other when duty calls. Don’t you get it?”
Corydon looked away. “I can’t believe I thought that even after eight years of sin
that I’d be able to turn you around. I’m sorry Ariadne; I’m not going to be the weakling
in this relationship. If you go out on this job, we’re over. I don’t have the patience for
another second of this madness.”
Ariadne waited in shock while Corydon’s words sunk in. For a while, all she
could do was stare at her boyfriend, the man she swore she’d marry. She could still
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remember how supportive he’d been as her rock in the storm of her depression, how he’d
always tell her that she was worth it, how he’d always give her a hug even after all the
awful things she told him that she’d done. How he’d always smile when she glanced at
him, how he’d make her blush and, despite all odds, smile back. How he’d stood by her
and her crime spree, how he forgave her for the Paris incident. How he’d tried so hard to
make Sven feel at home with unneeded compliments and a helpful hand. She could still
hear his whisper as he told her he loved her, how beautiful their wedding would be, how
he’d support her in her decision to have children, despite her knowing that he wanted
nothing more in the world. How he was her last hope for her life to change.
“Get out.”
Her words surprised herself as much as Corydon. He quickly regained his
composure. “So that’s your decision?”
“Yes, Corydon.”
He nodded. “Alright then. Goodbye.”
For a moment, she almost broke down. Almost started crying, fell on the floor and
begged him not to leave. Almost confessed how much she needed and loved him.
Almost. “I’ll expect my Star Wars collection back within a week.”
Corydon nodded, and, before she could second-guess herself again, was gone.
Once she heard the door shut, she sat on her bed. She barely realized that she was
crying, her lip trembling and a few tears slipping down her face.
“Please come back, Cor,” she whispered. “I love you too much for you to go.”
She stood to run after him, but eyed a photo on her bedside table. It was a picture
of Sven when he was about two or three, taken during a time when Ariadne was deep into
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her depression, yet she was smiling as she played angel with a little Sven back during a
trip to Sven’s old home in Aliceville. Both of them were bundled in jackets, hers with her
college’s logo and his just a plain red with a coonskin hat barely hanging onto his head.
He was smiling just as much as Ariadne, perhaps even more. Ariadne felt like she could
remember the exact moment, how she’d accused Dennis of turning Sven into a hick while
he made fun of her UCLA sweatshirt.
Ariadne picked up the photo and kissed the image of Sven.
“Relationships are nothing for us, Sven. I promised you that I’d never let you get
hurt, and I’m not going to break it now.”
She laid back into bed, staring at the picture, drinking in every little detail, from
Sven’s dimples to how windy it had been to make the grass sway the way it did.
*
*
*
It was hard enough for Crowe to mentally debate whether he should be concerned
about his stomach pain or not, and getting a call from Ariadne that she “desperately
needed him” certainly didn’t help at all. He nearly got close to maybe clipping his
Maybach on the drive over, which only caused him to nearly have a heart attack. In other
words, Ariadne was probably better off on her own.
“Ariadne…please don’t tell me that you’re dead…” Crowe said as he entered her
house. He ended up finding her on her living room couch, leafing through a pile of photo
albums. “Hey! You said this was urgent!”
She looked up. “It is. I need you to watch me this weekend and make sure I stay
sober.”
He gave her a look of disappointment. “So you’re not suicidal?”
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She bit her lip and shook her head. “I’m just…Logan, I think I ruined my life for
Sven.”
He joined her on the couch. “You broke up with him?”
She nodded. “He gave me an ultimatum: him or the job. I had to pick Sven. He’s
basically my son now, and your kids always come before relationships.”
He put an arm around her. “You did good, Ari. I’m proud of you.”
She shook her head. “I just—I just feel like I lost my rock. He meant the world to
me for so long and I feel like I betrayed him.”
He rubbed her back. “He betrayed you, Ariadne. You were simply choosing what
was best for Sven. I’m here for you, okay? I know I…wasn’t there for you when Mattie
died, so I’m going to try to make it up to you. This weekend, I’m all yours. Rose and
Dorian are grounded and they have schoolwork to do anyway. I’m guessing Sven is as
well.”
She nodded. “I guess we could do something. Sven’s got a recital soon so he’ll be
practicing for that anyway.”
He smiled. “As long as we don’t have sex, I’m up for anything.” He paused. “Can
you make me dinner?”
She laughed. “Why?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m developing a peptic ulcer and it’s
recommended to have diet change.”
She couldn’t wipe the amused expression from her face. “What do you want?
Vegetables?”
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He gave a weak smile. “Umm, it’s more of a less process thing where I just have
to take out a large list of raw foods and seasonings.”
She gave him a look. “Wait, what?”
“Never mind.”
She put a hand on his shoulder. “No. I can just make some chicken and rice for
you. It’ll be fun! We can watch movies all night and eat sherbet.”
“Don’t most girls eat ice cream when they have break ups?”
She rolled her eyes. “Tell that to whatever made me partially lactose intolerant.”
His eyes lit up. “I can have sherbet! Yes!”
Ariadne gave Crowe a high five. “C’mon! We gotta make dinner and watch over
twelve hours of Star Wars before I have to drop Sven off at music lessons tomorrow!”
“Wait, how many hours of Star Wars?”
She shrugged. “About sixteen. Now come on!”
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Chapter 15
A Second Opinion
“Okay, so I didn’t exactly get to grading y’all’s essays…but I have an excuse,”
Ariadne explained to her A block English 11.
Ariadne was sitting on a desk in the middle of the arch the students made,
indicating to the kids that it was open discussion. Her highest achiever, a girl named
Kate, responded first. She was already smiling, which didn’t exactly give her teacher the
best feeling.
“What were you doing?”
Ariadne gave a weak smile. “So on Friday, I had one of my guy friends come over
to help me out with some personal stuff. So we played brain numb and watched Star
Wars Episode I through VI and once those were done, I had to drop Sven off at his vocal
lessons. From there, I managed to sleep for four hours before my friend returned for
‘monitoring.’ All Saturday, we watched all five original Planet of the Apes. Then we had
to take a little break for like, I don’t know, showering or something. I would’ve graded
the essays then, but A) I was hawked up on movies so y’all wouldn’t have seen grades,
y’all would’ve seen ‘Hail Caesar’ scratched in random places and B) Sven needed help
with his Spanish and he’s automatically ahead of y’all on priority. So then he told me that
he had to sleep over cause otherwise he wouldn’t be monitoring right so we started a
Batman marathon with Batman: Mask of the Phantasm and Batman Beyond: Return of
the Joker uncensored version. But we ended up crashing until like one the next afternoon
on Sunday. So we skipped—well I skipped church and we watched Batman, Batman
Returns, Batman Forever, Batman & Robin, Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight until
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the tiny hours of the morning before school. So, in conclusion, I had no time to grade the
essays.”
A boy named Sam joined in. “I thought you said excuses had to legit?”
Ariadne sighed. “Look, I’d just had some really shitty personal things happen to
me and in the past, I have been known to deal with those negative feelings by binge
drinking and thoughts of self harm and suicide in extreme scenarios. My friend was just
over to make sure none of that was crossing my mind. It’s like if you guys tell me that
you were up all night making sure a friend didn’t commit suicide. I get that kind of stuff
and it’s a legit excuse.”
A joker kid added in. “Can we at least change your behavior card? This is the
second time in the new trimester that you’ve given essay excuses.”
Ariadne gave the kid the stink eye, but walked over to where she put MISS EVANS
on a sign and underneath had a pouch that half exposed a color card, four others hidden
behind it. It was currently at green, so Ariadne put that card to the back so it revealed a
yellow card. She only had two more chances to step up her game back to the always
loved purple card or she’d end up going down to red, then black, in which case the kids
would get a one-week extension on any project due in the second trimester.
*
*
*
Later that day, Crowe started reconnaissance on Hayden Barrow’s home, Ariadne
sitting in his Maybach, Googling their subject and grading English 11’s essays while
keeping on feed with Logan.
“Now I don’t mean to question your strategies, but it’s been a while since we stole
something from a house,” Ariadne commented.
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Crowe took his focus off of taking photos of Barrow’s house. “It’s actually easier
because there’s not someone there 24-7. Besides, this place is huge. Honestly, I’m just
getting us a full visual. No schemes. You’re the one who’s searching history.”
She glanced at her computer screen and stared at the Google hits for her name.
“You’re just outside right now, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
Crowe wasn’t sure if he should be in disguise if this woman acted like she knew
him. Was it possible that she was just trying to act the part of the real Hayden Barro?
God, how far thought out was this woman? Was he being captured on camera? The
thought sent a chill down his spine considering he’d been taking photos of the entire
driveway, side yards, and the backyard with its infinity pool and tennis court. He’d
already spotted five different ways to get into the house and knew then that he kind of
had to pick one ASAP.
“I’m gonna go make sure that she hasn’t put any cameras around the place. Hey,
you’re a tech-y person. Where would you put a security room?”
“In the tallest room so I could stare down all my visitors,” Ariadne replied
sarcastically.
Crowe smiled. “Well the floors do go up to four so I’ll go check.”
Crowe eyed the third floor balcony and how the door had been left open in order
to dry some children’s t-shirts. Between the ground level and the balcony, there was a
flower holder that was shaped like a deep pocket like a Rockwall hold.
He couldn’t help but smile; Parkour had started off as his own form of destressing and he was beyond pleased that he was still able to do it and use it for
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something. He backed up a few yards and took a running start, pushing off with his left
leg and pushing himself upward, but just barely missed his target, his nails scratching the
wall as he fell. He landed pretty cleanly, took a deep breath, and tried again. This time, he
made it, gripping onto the pocket until he was crouched on top of it. From there, he took
one big jump and barely gripped onto the bottom of the balcony. After a few seconds of
rest, he pulled himself onto the ledge of it and over into the house.
“I’m in the house. Any info, Alabama?”
“Says she’s from a rich family and married an army officer who supposedly tried
to kill her and is serving life. Says the couple had two kids together, around six or seven.
No criminal history.”
Crowe shook his head. “Innocent victims don’t pretend to be world renounced
forgers. Dig a little deeper.”
“Dude, I have essays to grade or my card is going to red!”
Crowe rolled his eyes as he ran up the steps to floor four. “You and your teaching
methods are none of my business.”
He checked all the rooms, only finding an office, a toy room, and a storage attic.
“No go on the security room. Dammit Ari, I’m just gonna photograph the rest of the
house and get back to you.”
“Okay, but be careful. If you don’t get back here soon, I might be tempted to
ghostride the whip in your car.”
“If you ghostride the whip in my car I will gut you while you watch.”
“Aww, don’t worry, I got Betty’s back! Wait…what the hell, how do you know
what ghostriding the whip is?”
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“…How do you?”
“I watch television! But dude, I’ve been leafing through these essays and this one
kid handed in an essay…well a paragraph that is slightly on topic and then drew a picture
of a dinosaur riding on a whale with a Darth Vader mask on it. Damn, it’s really beast.
I’m giving that bitch ten points for that and filing it in the Laugh Your Ass Off file.
Damn.” There was some rustling. “Oh shit, shit, shit! He just offered his services for me
boosting his grade.”
Crowe rolled his eyes and kept taking pictures. “Don’t you get those requests a
lot?”
“Not when they write cunnilingus above a picture of the v with tongue hand
signal! What the fuck?”
Crowe instantly hated himself for listening to her rant. “Oh God, I’m not sure
whether to laugh or throw up.”
“Same with me! Oh Jesus dinosaur boy, I’m giving you a negative twenty for
that! Yeah, F…and unamused face.”
Crowe shook his head as he jumped down from the balcony after all the pictures
were taken. “You and your misadventures while teaching.”
“Oh man, just wait til I tell you about the FSILFs.”
“…What’s a FSLIF?”
“Future Student I’d Like to Fu—”
“Stop talking. Please. I have a sanity that I have to maintain.”
Crowe couldn’t help but notice how when he stepped onto a patch of grass, a
small hole caved in.
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Must have a gopher problem or something, Crowe noted.
*
*
*
Right as the clock struck 3:15 pm the next day, Rose rushed out to Ariadne’s
room, hoping desperately that she didn’t have some other kid hogging her. She peered
into the room, Ariadne and a couple straggling freshmen in the room.
“Ar—Miss Evans, could I talk to you?”
Ariadne pretended to actually have to think about it. “Yeah, sure.”
Rose threw open the door and the remaining freshmen slipped out as the door
closed. “Jesus, those kids were desperate to get out.”
Ariadne chuckled. “They’re all so excited to start reading Phantom of the Opera,
of course!” She pulled out one of the two rolling chairs and shoved it toward Rose. “So
what do ya need, honey?”
She sat down and bit her lip. “Is my dad mad at me?”
Ariadne shrugged. “When he and I did recon yesterday he seemed his usual
boring self except I learned that he knows what ghostriding the whip is.” Ariadne studied
her. “What do you mean by mad?”
“Like…does he hate me? I just—I know that what Sven and I did was wrong and
the way he was suggesting such extreme punishment the other day…it just scared me.
You gotta understand, he’s the only one I have and I really don’t want us to have a bad
relationship. I love him. How can I make it up to him?”
Ariadne shook her head. “Rose, your dad doesn’t hate you. You should hear the
way he talks about you, how much he loves you. Your dad…he was just scared that
night. He never thought that you were at risk for acting out and he thought he was going
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to lose you.” She twiddled her thumbs. “Look Rose, I don’t think you have this into
perspective. When you were born, Logan and Bianca named Mattie and I as your
godparents. If anything—God forbid—happened to your father, you’d just come live with
me. Now your dad, he lost his parents at age eleven. His grandparents have been dead
since before he was born. He’s fairly certain that he has no other extended family. His
only brother died when he was thirty. His wife died a few months ago. In the scheme of
things, you are the only person left in his family. If he lost you…well, you get it, don’t
you?”
Rose felt a lump rise in her throat at the reality of it all. “He’d have no one.”
Ariadne shrugged. “In his eyes, yeah. Well…actually, yeah, we’re just friends.
So, you get it, right? Your dad would do anything to keep your safe and it keeps him up
worrying that you’d end up causing your own death. Logan and I may act like we’re just
joking around, but these high-profile heists are no joke. We are gambling with our lives.
You remember those guards back at Lousteau’s nightclub? If they had caught you
sneaking around, they would have shot you dead right there. Now, I admit, robbing
someone’s house is an extreme, but you and Sven stole from a very new, therefore very
unpredictable gang, and we already know that Miles Quentin is a hitman for hire in the
area.”
Rose nodded. “But…is he at least proud of us? For being able to do that?”
Ariadne looked around her room. “Maybe in time, but not now. You guys gotta
understand, you’re just kids. Inexperienced kids. Your dad has been stealing since 1984
and I’ve been doing it since ’94. Yes, he risked my life just as much as yours, but
everything was a lot more in control. Your dad was a lot faster, more agile back then and
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Mattie…well Mattie was technically a local hero in terms of cage fighting. The guy had
no fear and would do anything to keep Logan and I safe. With you guys…there’s just a
lot more risks. We don’t want to take those risks. So, in some sick way, we’re proud of
you, but we shouldn’t be.”
“But didn’t Dad want me to follow in his footsteps?”
“No. Simply stating it, no. He wanted a better life for you. Trust me, if I hadn’t
shown up last year, he would’ve never picked that bandana up again. He loved you and
Bianca too much for that. I helped open up some old wounds.” Ariadne crinkled her
brow. “I’m just curious, why did you agree to this job? I can see Sven considering he’s a
dumbass, but you?”
Rose looked around the room. “I don’t know. Something about it…it was just
calling to me.”
“How long have you felt like this?”
She put her thumb on her cheek and started stroking it absentmindedly. “Ever
since the job I guess.”
Ariadne took a deep breath. “I sure hope that crime isn’t addicting, love. You
don’t want to end up like your daddy and I. Losing everything we love for some stupid
life that always rears its ugly head when you want it to go fuck itself and die.” For a
moment, she watched Rose. Watched her nervous tick and how she’d seen it before…
“You know your mom used to do that too. The face touching thing.”
Rose tensed up at the mention of her mother and put her hand down. “Really?”
Ariadne nodded. “Do you…do you think that this is how you’re dealing with the
pain of losing your mom? Perhaps cause she was still alive when you were stealing?”
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Rose shook her head. “No, no, it’s nothing like that. I dealt with my mom’s death
a while back. Sure, it still hurts sometimes, but…God, I’m not still that unstable. Besides,
I’d never do something as stupid as that to deal with my mom’s death. She was a cop.
She wouldn’t have wanted me to steal to get over her.”
It was clear to Ariadne that Rose wasn’t going to respond well to more questions.
“So…how was your day?”
Rose shrugged. “Decent. Um…how was yours?”
Ariadne smirked. “Oh, normal…”
“Alright guys, guess who freaking graded your essays and totally regrets doing
it?” Ariadne said to Block A English 11 as soon as class was near ending.
Sam raised his hand. “Did everyone fail?”
“Well, obviously Kate shouldn’t worry, but there are a select few of you who
really should.” She glanced at Tuck, the kid who’d offered her the inappropriate services.
She passed back the essays and kids left, leaving Tuck’s at the bottom. She folded
over the grading sheet so he couldn’t see his grade and walked right up to him, kneeling
down so she was eye to eye with him.
“How do you think you did, Tuck?” she whispered, glancing around to make sure
that the other kids were gone.
He smirked. “Depends. Did you turn it over?”
Ariadne set the paper on the desk with one hand still over the grade and put the
other a few centimeters from Tuck’s hand on the desk. “What exactly did you offer me?”
He kept smirking. “Oh, just a lot of fun…”
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She brushed her hand over his. “Tell me. I dare you, little man. Say it out loud, to
me, right now.”
He leaned into her. “Did you like it? Did you like the note?”
She took a breath and whispered in his ear. “You can guess. You know how
weather is down in the rainforest? Say that.”
“Wet?”
She smiled and licked her bottom lip. “Am I making you feel the same way? What
do you like, Tuck? What makes you…you know…?”
He smiled. “So whenever you want…do I get my grade?”
She smiled back. “Go ahead and check.”
His smile quickly faded as he looked at the grade and the unamused face. He
quickly became edgy. He frantically looked back up at his teacher, who wore the same
expression as the face she’d drawn on the paper.
“I’m not some slut who’ll take sex bribes, Mr. Wentz. I expect an apology letter
and to find out this was a joke by tomorrow.”
“I gotta go!”
As he ran out, she couldn’t help but notice his awkward run as if he was trying to
hide something. She smirked.
“And still, they tell me that acting classes were not useful.”
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Chapter 16
Mementos
“If this is like class, I’m leaving,” Sven commented the following day when the
Murder plus Dorian began their first briefing.
Ariadne glared at her nephew. “Considering you’re third on the list of important
players out of five, I’d shut the hell up.”
She was using a slideshow to get through all the information and without even
beginning, Sven voiced his disapproval.
“Hey ladies, let’s quit the witty banter so Dexter here can give us an update. I
have a Corvette calling my name when this is done,” Crowe interjected.
The Evanses exchanged a quick this isn’t over glance and Ariadne began her
presentation.
“So here’s what I’ve got after some data crunching on our target,” she said as she
showed a picture of Hayden Barrow that looked like it was taken at some kind of socialite
dinner. “She was born as Hayden Fidelio in Bakersfield, California. Whaddaya know,
Logie Bear? She was a valley girl like you!” Crowe flipped her off with only enough time
for her to see it. “Anyway, her parents were both doctors so she was kinda loaded. She
went through high school with no particular demerits and graduated from Stanford U
with a BA in psychology.” As she went along, she showed pictures of the town she’d
grown up in and Stanford, to the viewer’s confusion. “She then met John Barrow, a
fellow psych major who supposedly spent his entire childhood in a mental ward for
watching his parents get murdered. They got married in ’90 and had two children whose
names I figured didn’t really matter so I didn’t memorize them.” She showed pictures of
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Barrow’s supposed husband, a tall man with short blond hair and striking blue eyes. “In
2007, her kids preschool aged and toddler, her husband supposedly pushed their
preschool aged kid down the stairs, locked the littler one in the garage, and tried to
murder Hayden. Of course, this led to Mr. Barrow’s incarceration for attempted murder,
and he is currently set to be released in like sixty years. So whatever, that dude’s outta the
picture.”
Dorian raised his hand. “What does this have to do with anything?”
Ariadne gave him a look. “Don’t question my data crunching, Rocko; I’ve been
doing this for seventeen years. Anyway, since Rocko here doesn’t like my rambling, I’ll
get to the point. Basically, rumors/fact around the LA crime scene claim that it was all a
set up, said how prison mates of John claim that he spent every waking moment in prison
hysterical about how ‘that madwoman’ had his children. Obviously, no one listened to
him and why would parole dudes waste a breath for it? In other words, if John Barrow
isn’t crazy, then his wife is.”
Crowe crossed his arms. “Why would the missus want this statue so much? She’s
obviously rich.”
“Bro, you’re swank and you’re buying a Corvette.”
“A Corvette isn’t a major criminal forger’s family heirloom.”
Ariadne waved him off. “As for motives for the statue, either A) she really hates
Haybro and wants to get under her skin and orchestrated the whole Katz heist for it in the
first place or B) there is something really effing valuable about this statue.”
“What’s its estimated value?” Crowe asked.
She shrugged. “Somewhere between ten and fourteen mill.”
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“Is she still rich?”
“Living off of husband money. If you ask me, I bet that John B put her in debt and
either way, if she can manage to rip off a bunch of criminals at once, it’s kind of like a
fuck you to her husband who couldn’t do one measly crime without getting put away for
life. That or she hates Haybro.”
“So you see no coincidences?”
“Hell no. If she pretended to know you in front of the kids, then she knew that it
should have gone to Haybro.” She paused. “By the way, has anyone talked to our Hayden
Barro?”
Crowe shook his head. “She’s impossible to reach. Probably sheltered in and
changed her name after the Katz break in. Plus, if someone’s trying to be her, wouldn’t it
be most convenient to change her name?”
Something had been bothering Rose since minute one, and she had to say it.
“How could Hayden Barrow the socialite have known that Sven and I were going to
screw up names? Doesn’t Luke have the right Hayden Barro? If it hadn’t been Sven and I
working it, wouldn’t the statue have gone to the right person?”
Ariadne and Crowe exchanged a look. “Perhaps more reason to say she was
conspiring with the Katz. After all, it would make sense that they’d make the heist easier
for Rose and Sven so they could get at the statue.”
“Then why did she have the Katz hold it for her?” Crowe questioned.
Ariadne gave him a look. “How should I know? Maybe she likes causing shit.”
“Keep that noted.”
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“Ugh, it’s been one recon and one data crunching and I’m already confused out of
my mind.”
Crowe put a comforting hand on Ariadne’s shoulder. “Let’s keep it simple.
Hayden Barrow the socialite equals bad and ruby gorilla statue equals target. Okay?”
“I suck at math.”
He rolled his eyes. “Well, this was very informative, Ari. If you’ll excuse me, I
have to go see a man about a sports car. You don’t mind babysitting, do ya?”
Before Ariadne could protest, Crowe was gone.
“Wait a minute, if he’s buying a Corvette, how are we all going to fit in there?”
Ariadne demanded.
“You can squish,” Dorian assured her.
She gave him a look. “It’s a two-seater.”
Dorian looked at Sven and Rose. “Rose goes on Crowe’s lap, we double buckle in
the front, and Sven can go in the trunk.”
Sven glared at Dorian. “Yeah,” Ariadne replied, “or we can put you and Sven into
the trunk and Rose and I can double buckle. Logie doesn’t drive with things on his lap.”
*
*
*
Crowe would’ve thought that after so many exchanges with salesmen about
expensive cars with no limits on price that perhaps he’d seen it all. But no, when it came
to his Corvette exchange, he was in for a surprise, starting with the woman who was there
to greet him, her nametag marking her as HARPER – SALESWOMAN. She looked
professional enough, her dark brown hair in a bun and wearing a dark blue suit that
matched her eyes. Crowe shook his head as he saw her smile.
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“Harper Conrad. Gonna go on a thin line here and guess that you’re here to buy a
car?” Before Crowe could introduce himself, he caught Harper studying him. To his
relief, she quickly provided an explanation. “Let me guess here…you are either a finely
dressed man looking for a Corvette or a Camaro against your significant other’s wishes or
you’re one of those eco freaks and you want a Cruze. I’m going with new.”
Crowe laughed. “Corvette. Impressive though.”
She smiled. “Sorry, being a salesperson means getting the window shoppers and
you gotta entertain yourself in between actual buyers.”
They shook hands. “Logan Crowe, and…yeah, still looking for a Corvette.”
She nodded. “Well, I’d say we have inventory to look at. C’mon.” She smiled at
Crowe’s very slight hesitance at following her. He couldn’t help but notice how pretty
her smile was and how innocent her intent with giving them out frequently. He kicked
himself for thinking about it, but it was kind of cute. “So you have a rich range, Mr.
Crowe?”
The way Harper was looking at him was screaming that she knew that his clothing
was expensive. He gave a weak smile. “No price range. Whatever the best I can get is
what I want.”
They stopped at a row of Corvettes, a color or two of each recent model. Harper
leaned a bit to one side and motioned toward the cars. “Alright. Let’s pick out a model.
So no price range, eh? Well that doesn’t help me. What do you want out of your car?”
He smiled. “Well I’m not going for the all out racecar. Dunno, just…” He sucked
air through his teeth. “They’re not very easy to use in the urban areas.”
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Harper chuckled. “I know, right? Well, obviously I don’t really know since I
myself can’t afford a Corvette, but I get it. Okay, so I’m guessing that we’re not going for
a ZR1 or Z06?” She nodded. “Convertible or no?”
Crowe considered it. Mattie had owned a convertible with his car and Crowe
couldn’t help but feel that he’d look like a tool in a convertible. “No convertible.”
She smiled. “Awesome, now we’re down to two options now!” It was clear that
she wanted to lean on one of the cars, but she was selling the wrong kind of car for that.
“You want some performance on your vehicle? You know, in those strange situations
where you gotta maneuver out of a car chase or something.”
Crowe laughed. “Yeah, I think so.”
“May I introduce you to the 2011 Grand Sport Coupe?” Crowe nodded as she
opened the driver’s door to a Grand Sport Coupe. “The interior is a premium package for
a great driving environment. I mean, that leather? Rich. And c’mon man, it feels good.
Go ahead, adjust the seats, poke around. It feels right, don’t it? Feels like you can break a
bunch of traffic laws and get away with it cause you’re so awesome?”
Crowe ran him fingers over the CORVETTE etched above the glove compartment.
“What’s special about this model?”
“It takes knowledge from the years of Corvettes racing in the ‘60s and uses those
features to create a performance and efficiency. In short, strong grip, great midrange
power, and stunning brakes. You have any particular passengers for this one?”
“For safety? My daughter and the other idiots I’m forced to drive around.”
She laughed. “Well it has antilock breaks and front and side impact airbags.”
Crowe nodded. “Nice. Could I take it for a spin?”
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“Go ahead.”
After about ten minutes test-driving, and Crowe came back happy. “I’ll take it.”
Harper smiled. “Great! What color?”
Crowe considered it. “I currently have a black Maybach 57 S and a red 2008
Lincoln MKZ. What color do you think?”
She gave him a flabbergasted look. “You own a Maybach? Jesus, how rich are
you?”
He shrugged. “Cars are my indulgence in life.”
Harper shook her head. “Well, um, I’d go with blue if you’re trying to work with
your garage color scheme.”
Crowe smiled. “I like it.”
“Dark or jetstream?”
Crowe bit his lip. “Jetstream.”
“There’s one around back if you want one last look. Afterwards, we can just get
the paperwork done.” She smirked. “You’re going to pay in cash, aren’t you?”
Crowe gave an embarrassed smile. “Don’t kill me.”
She rolled her eyes with a smile still playing on her lips. “I hate you, Mr. Crowe.
You better at least recommend me to your friends who’ll have the decency to finance.”
She handed him her card as they walked to Crowe’s new car.
*
*
*
By the time Crowe got home, Ariadne and Sven were already gone. Although he
would’ve loved to bug Ariadne about abandoning her duties, he got distracted pretty early
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in his time home. The doorbell rang as Crowe worked on one of his simplistic (much to
Ariadne’s amusement) dinners, asking his daughter to answer the door.
Rose answered the door to a tall, heavyset man with short dark hair and five o
clock shadow. He smiled down at Rose.
“Hey Rosie, is your dad around?”
Rose stared back up at the man, slightly freaking out at the fact that this stranger
knew her by name. She looked back toward the kitchen. “Uh Dad…there’s someone here
for you…”
The man smiled to himself as Rose stepped a few steps back and very subtly hid
behind her dad.
“Mr. Sampson, it’s been a while,” Crowe said as he shook the man’s hand.
“As well to you, Mr. Crowe. Shame that you resigned, we haven’t been able to
tame a stallion quite the way you molded.”
He laughed and Crowe joined in nervously. “So, um, I don’t mean to be forward,
but why exactly are you here? You’re not trying to recruit me again, are ya?”
Sampson shook his head. “Well not unless you’ve gotten yourself into more
trouble.” Sampson laughed again and all Crowe could do was smile. “No, no, I just have
been meaning to send my condolences for Bianca’s loss.” Crowe’s smile faded.
“Honestly Logan, I am so sorry for your loss. Bianca was not only a dedicated agent and
patriot, but we lost one of our brightest and warmest agents. No one could file like her.”
They shared a weak laugh. Sampson eyed Rose. “How’s the little one doing? Still little, I
can see.”
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Crowe nudged his daughter out from behind him. Sampson looked her in the eyes.
“Honey, you know how great your mom was, doncha?”
“Yes, sir.”
He shook his head. “So formal. Just remember hun, you were born from two
amazing agents. Don’t let those teachers tell you to settle for an office job.”
Sampson handed Crowe a bouquet of flowers and left, gone like a phantom. Once
Rose was sure that he was gone, she turned to her father.
“Who was that?”
Crowe laughed. “Our superior in Interpol.”
“What was Interpol like? Was Mom really that uptight back then? How did you
get her to date you?”
“Let me just start by saying that Bianca doesn’t make things easy.”
The morning after Crowe and Bianca’s one night stand, Bianca was startled by
Logan Crowe perched on her balcony, sitting there as if he’d been waiting for her for
hours.
“So you are the kind of guy who hits and runs, aren’t ya?” Bianca said
nonchalantly as she pulled her laundry out from its drying place on the balcony.
Crowe smiled. “Terribly sorry about that one. I had to get back to the babies.”
She raised an eyebrow. “The babies?”
He shrugged. “So the babies are teenagers but hey, you gotta watch them even
more.”
“I don’t respect a man who leaves me after having sex, Crowe.”
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Crowe felt a tiny stab of pain in his heart. “Sex? Is that what you thought that
was?” He laughed. “Don’t deny it, Bee! We made love.”
Bianca finally looked him in the eyes, her blue eyes blazing in anger. “Are you
kidding with me, Crowe? Is this funny to you, because I don’t like having my emotions
played with. You caught me off guard last night. If I had my guard up, you would’ve
gotten arrested the moment you dared to show your face in that ballroom.” She grabbed
his shirt. “Do you understand me? I know you don’t love me. I know you’re just using me
to slip your little gang past Interpol and let me tell you that I am nobody’s pawn. You’re
disgusting.”
“Why am I disgusting, Bee? Is it because I slept with you or because I’m a
criminal?”
“Both.”
Now Crowe grabbed onto Bianca. “You are so stubborn. You know the world
isn’t like kindergarten. You can’t just fit every person into either Bad or Good. If you ask
me, what I do isn’t that bad. I steal from criminals. Would you rather that money be used
to buy some clothing for someone who couldn’t get the money otherwise or have it feed
the cocaine market? Look me in the eyes and tell me that you want me to go rot in jail
with the murderers and rapists. Say it.”
She and him were staring into his each other’s eyes now, the anger disappearing
from Bianca’s eyes. So she looked away.
“You deserve to go to jail for what you did. You broke the law. I won’t harbor a
fugitive.”
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Crowe uncrossed his arms and put them in front of Bianca. “Fine. If this is the
only way for me to show you my love, then so be it. Go ahead and slap the cuffs on me.
You’ll regret it the moment you watch me go behind bars.”
Another piece of his heart broke off as he watched his angel put the cuffs on him.
He said nothing and made no facial expressions. All he could do was stare at her, try to
stare into her soul. Say it, you pussy! he told himself, Say you love her!
Bianca sat on the edge of the balcony as they had their stare match, Crowe
blocking the door inside. As Crowe started to make her more nervous, she went back
even more. At some point in those long seconds, she slipped off the balcony and onto the
six foot roof before it dropped down at least five floors.
Crowe worked from pure instinct and jumped down after her, using the key he’d
swiped from her to free his hands while in the air. When he landed, he half purposefully
slipped and grabbed onto his cop before she could slip down completely. For a brief
second, they stared into each other’s eyes, Crowe holding her back as they stared down
at the drop below them.
“Climb back up,” he ordered her.
Once he was sure she was safe, he followed her. For a few seconds, all she could
do was watch as Crowe put his hands behind his back, pretending that the cuffs weren’t
still on the roof.
“You…you saved my life…” she finally said.
He smiled. “It was nothing. I would’ve done it anyway.”
She shook her head. “But you—but we…you’re a criminal. I was going to arrest
you.”
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He grabbed her hand. “I told you already. I love you, Bianca. I’m not going to let
professional divides hide my feelings.”
She was silent for a few minutes, causing Crowe to let go of her and give her
some space. “Logan…” She swallowed. “How easily could you find a restaurant for us
tonight?”
He had to keep an ear-to-ear smile from forming. “Say seven?”
“I’ll be here.”
“I…I guess I better go find a restaurant.” She smiled. “But before I go.”
He gave her the kiss he’d been wanting to give her for ten years and, before
Bianca had time to comment, he was gone.
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Chapter 17
Boys Will Be Boys
The week dragged forward with Crowe focusing his attention on his car, Ariadne
on actually grading tests properly (kicking herself for not giving multiple choice the
whole time), and the kids just trying to not get into any more trouble. So far, they’d been
succeeding; Sven had gotten his first C+ in Spanish in his entire schooling career, Rose
finally not getting a “less facts, more pizzazz” on one of her essays, and Dorian was just
pleased that he was pulling an B average.
But, of course, grades weren’t the only things that caught Dorian’s eyes that
started with a B. It was during the only class he had with Bella and the kids were
assigned partners for some kind of assignment and it just so happened that Dorian was
assigned to Bella instead of Dylan. Dorian gave Bella’s ex a grin as he walked over to
Bella’s desk.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t contacted you lately. Mr. Crowe kind of freaked out
about our co-ed sleepover on top of that Rose and I got grounded for shenanigans. But,
well, we’re off parole this weekend and I was thinking that maybe we could go see a
movie.”
Bella smiled. “I’d like that. What movie?”
He shrugged. “Whatever works for you.”
She leaned into him. “How about you come with me outside after class and we
can talk about it?”
Dorian barely glanced at the glare that Dylan was giving him.
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And, for the remaining portions of the day, Dorian ignored the same looks that
Dylan kept giving him. Rose tried to bring it up at lunch, but Dorian kept dismissing it as
jealousy. Although, Dorian had to admit, by the end of school, the guy’s looks were
starting to get annoying.
In order to celebrate their first day of freedom, Dorian and Rose were taking
Bella, Sven, Devon, and Vivienne out for McDonald’s, a short walk from the school.
“Hey Rose, we’re still on for tonight, right?” Vivienne said once they’d gotten
settled in, nudging her friend.
Rose smiled. “Of course. Heath Ledger marathon and Color Me Mine.”
“I’m just as hot as Heath Ledger and more adorable than spotted mugs,” Sven
commented.
Rose gave Sven a kiss on the cheek. “I’d let you come, but you already said you
were busy, genius.”
“Yeah, being forced by my aunt to entertain my cousins is totally fun,” he
deadpanned.
“Which brother?”
“Uncle Jacob. He’s got the twins, who’re I don’t know, six or something now.”
Rose couldn’t hide a smile. “Didn’t you say that Jed and Toby were your age?”
“Jed and Toby are a year apart and they’re Uncle Andrew’s kids. Uncle Jacob has
Cody and Beau.” Sven grinned. “So much for photographic memory, eh?”
Rose gave a dismissive wave. “The only reason you can keep them all straight is
because they’re your cousins.”
“Bella?”
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Dorian looked up with Bella as someone called her name, although he’d never
admit it if anyone else at the table asked. He found Dylan staring him down, and Dorian
recognized the look in his eyes immediately.
“Now we all know that the marriage rates for high school sweethearts is only
2%,” Dorian said as he backed out of the booth he was sharing with Bella.
Dorian, mid escape, was pulled back by his shirt by Dylan, let go of, and while
still getting his equilibrium, hit square in the jaw. He tried his best not to call out in pain.
He stumbled back and found himself taking a pratfall on the tile floor, gently moving his
jaw. Not broken.
Dorian got back up and gave Dylan a sucker punch that only worked for a few
seconds. Before the Aussie knew what hit him, he was shoved so far that he managed to
fall onto a table and back the other side, where Dylan met him with a kick in the ribs.
“Sven, do something,” Vivienne said with just the slightest sign of a tone in her
voice.
Sven didn’t even look or bother to hear Vivienne’s cry of “No Sven, don’t
really!” before he jumped into the mess. Sven, a newbie at this whole breaking up fights
thing, got directly above Dorian’s body.
“Dylan, stop! You’re—”
Sven was given an accidental kick to his face and was thrown off to the side by
Dorian, who, despite being bruised and bloodied, took another hit at Dylan, this time to
his chin.
By the time workers at McDonald’s stopped the fight, Dylan was spotless and
running after Bella, who stormed out as soon as he tried to talk to her, and the remaining
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bunch were forced to awkwardly exit the building, Sven rubbing the bruise that would be
fully formed on his eye by morning.
Once Devon, Rose, and Dorian were home, Vivienne offered to drive Sven home,
to which he agreed for the simple reason that he didn’t want to have to face his aunt
alone.
When she opened the front door, there were visible shadows under the eyes that
she could barely keep up and her held herself as if she could collapse any second.
“Oh God, what happened now? If you ran into a wall again you can’t keep me
from calling you a spazz.”
Vivienne smiled. “No,” Sven protested, “I tried to break up a fight between
Dorian and Dylan over Bella. Dylan kicked me in the face.”
Ariadne smiled despite herself. “Ah, testosterone fueled teenage duels. Good
times. Well, come on in, I have a bag of frozen tamales calling your name.” She looked
to Vivienne. “And hello to you, Miss Vivienne. I’ve missed you.”
She smiled. “Agreed. I’m still pissed that my parents didn’t let me on the Paris
trip. I heard it was badass. Miss E, you know you look terrible, right?”
Ariadne gave her a look. “I hadn’t noticed. Gee, thanks for the compliment. So
what are you doing with Sven?”
She shrugged. “Rose is tending to Dorian while we try to figure out if Daddy
Crowe really went to go vent in the desert with his new ‘Vette.”
“Sure hope he has a good life insurance policy.”
They exchanged a nervous laugh. “Jesus, not really used to saying such horrible
things about Mr. Crowe.”
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Ariadne shrugged. “Logan’s the vodka to my Bloody Mary. No biggie. So uh, go
have fun with Rose I guess.”
“We’re gonna go paint pottery. It will be fun.”
Once Vivienne left, Ariadne turned to her nephew. “So you tried to break up a
fight…and got kicked in the face?”
“Aunt A, my face just hurts. Can we get to the tamale thing soon?” Sven nearly
whimpered.
After about ten minutes of Ariadne holding the frozen food to her nephew’s face,
she decided it would be a good time to start doing the talk.
“Sven…you understand what the problem in what you did is, right?”
“I tried to defend Dorian. Yeah, I guess it was a bad idea…”
Ariadne sighed. “Look Sven, when it comes to guys fighting for girls, things get
brutal. Boys stop being boys. They become…ruthless, animalistic. It’s an old instinct,
Sven. The instinct to defend one’s girl. Trust me, you never get between a man and his
woman and children because they will kill you to keep his loved ones safe. Now I’m
obviously over exaggerating, but you have to stop and think.”
“So I got hit. Big deal.”
“Sven, please, let me try to explain.” She snapped her fingers. “Mattie. So it
must’ve been 1996, Mattie and I were really heating up, I was almost eighteen and he
was twenty. Now Mattie wasn’t a Gemini, but either way he definitely had two
personalities. On one hand, he was sweet, childlike, hilarious, and charming. On the other
hand, he could be ruthless and cold. Y’see, he was a pro cage fighter. I mean, this guy
was used for muscle in the group so we’d seen him knock out groups of guards and stuff,
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but you’d never believe what his cage matches were like. He was unbeatable and people
feared to fight him. And keep in mind, his face made him look young and he was short
and skinny, like you. So we were at some party and this kind of intoxicated guy wouldn’t
stop talking to me, whispering things to me.” She paused. “Sexual harassment type
things. Mattie made me tell him what the guy was telling me, and let me tell you, his eyes
became wild. He went right up to this guy who was at least a foot taller than him, got him
to the floor and just started beating him. I tried Sven, I tried to stop him. Of course I
didn’t get directly involved, but man, Mattie was in a rage. He didn’t stop literally until
the guy was a bloody pulp. You think a broken nose and a few bruises are bad? This guy
was bruised all over and the amount of blood pooling was what you expect on a murder
victim. And keep in mind, this is the boy I was in love with. The guy who went on a
quest with me to collect every Beanie Baby on earth, the guy who treated me like a
porcelain doll whenever he kissed me, the guy who didn’t know what a brothel was.
Guys can go crazy just like that.” She snapped her fingers.
“So…you’re telling me that I shouldn’t—”
“Ever get between two guys fightin’ for their ladies.” Ariadne yawned. “Wake me
when we’re gonna pick up my bro…Or actually…don’t…”
By the time Sven got the frozen tamales back on his face, his aunt was asleep.
Take another few hours, and it was time for them to pick up Jacob, Brooke, and the kids
from LAX. Sven glanced over at his aunt who finally looked peaceful in her sleep. He
knew that she wanted to hide it, but her breakup with Corydon was really hurting her still,
and insomnia was just part of it.
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Sven sighed, picked up his aunt bridal style, and ended up strapping her into the
front seat of her old Toyota (a.k.a. the car that Sven “could if he wanted to” sell back for
his own used car when he turned sixteen). Once he had a playlist of Phantom of the
Opera and Les Misérables softly playing throughout the car, he set off to the airport,
mentally prepared to take many, many laps around the terminal.
To his relief, he only had to take two and the airport security didn’t get to yell at
him for going into the wrong lane to scan for his party.
“Come on in ladies and gentlemen to Ground Transportation, Sven Style!” Sven
joked in order to cover up the fact that hadn’t assisted his aunt and uncle in getting their
luggage in the car.
“Sven, now I know that you’re a good boy, but uh, where’s your aunt?” Jacob
said, motioning to the front seat.
“Well, she fell asleep and told me not to wake her. Don’t worry, she’s alive.”
Brooke, Jacob’s wife, snapped her fingers. “Damn, I thought she was dead.”
It suddenly occurred to Sven that there wasn’t just the usually whining of his twin
cousins, but the whimper of a baby.
“Uhh, now I don’t mean to be the idiot here, but you have more than two kids,
don’t you?” Sven said as he drove home.
Brooke and Jacob smiled. “They’re only two months old, born at thirty weeks,”
Brooke explained. “I was trying to hide my pregnancy at the reunion. Another set of
identicals. Fiona and Lily.”
Sven smiled. “Cool.” The rest of the ten-minute trip back home consisted of small
talk about the new babies. Once he parked the car, instead of being a kind nephew and
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carrying his aunt into bed, he shoved her head against the glass window. “Wake up, Aunt
Ariadne!”
She opened her eyes immediately after hitting the window.
“Sven, what the fuck?!” she snarled as soon as she saw her nephew in the driver’s
seat.
Sven ignored her and grabbed one of his uncle’s bags as Ariadne fumbled to undo
her seatbelt while rubbing her head.
“Tsk-tsk Aunt A, we’re in the presence of children,” Sven retorted.
Ariadne followed him through the garage with a death glare. “What are you
talking about?”
Sven gave her a look. “Um, your brother, sister-in-law, nieces, and nephews are
currently going to reside in our house.”
Ariadne turned until she found the bunch, Jacob smirking, Brooke hiding a smile,
and the twins looking at her like she was crazy. She gave herself a second to drink in the
family and pivoted back to Sven.
“How long have they had four kids?”
Brooke burst out laughing and Sven let his smirk go fully. “Why don’t you ask
them?”
Ariadne turned back to her sister-in-law with a blank expression. Brooke
shrugged. “They were delivered at seven months back in September. I could hide the
pregnancy back then.”
Ariadne nodded. “And they’re okay?”
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She nodded. “A few weeks in the NICU and they were good to go. Fiona and
Lily, by the way.” She was holding the twin with a red onesie on. “This here is Fiona and
she’s the one we dress in red and Lily in yellow.”
“Don’t even bother Brooke, I’m not gonna remember.”
*
*
*
I haven’t seen so much blood…
Crowe took a deep breath and started slowly pushing the pedal to the floor. It
hadn’t taken long to get out of congestion where he could actually use his car to the full
degree. He watched the speedometer climb from 75 to 85.
…Not since Mattie anyway. He was only thirteen when he got into his first cage
match. He lost. Badly. The psycho put him in a chokehold.
He glanced from the lonely road back to the speedometer. 97 mph.
He went right back. Went right back and beat the shit out of the guy. Said
afterwards that he was glad that the guy’s face would never be able to properly heal…
106 mph. He punched off the radio, the engine drowning it out anyway.
He never stopped. Never lost. Never cared. Except for the last time. He lost and
ended up in the hospital.
125 mph. He wiped his hand on his jeans. He was clammy, but didn’t let that start
the speedometer left.
He looked just like Dorian. Bruises, bloodied lip, bloodied hands, a limp…God,
what did that kid do to him? Why did he let it happen? What got some 15-year-old kid so
mad that he’d do that to Dorian? What the hell am I missing?
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He watched soberly as the needle went past 150 mph. Usually he never went
above it. Usually the police would show up. Usually there would be someone telling him
to stop. Even when he was alone, there would be someone telling him to stop.
What’s wrong with me? What have I let my children get into? How could I have
let the kid get hurt? I promised myself that I’d never see another time like Mattie.
He was around ten mph before he reached the maximum 185 mph on the
Corvette. He hadn’t felt this alive in years. Not even with his Saleen had he ever gone to
its max speed.
Where are you, Mattie? Does your throat still hurt from where that asshole
punched you? Do you still remember how scared I was? How I had to rob an OG from
the Mox to pay for your surgery? How it was because of you that I started stealing from
criminals? You were only fifteen. You were a freshman. I should’ve been in grad school.
Crowe looked out at the empty abyss that the open road had created. How had he
gotten there? Where was he? How fast was he going? He glanced down to check his
speedometer; 185 mph.
“Logan!”
He shot up, completely bewildered until he saw something in the distance. A
figure. A figure that he’d hit in about two seconds. He slammed onto the brakes, them
squealing in response. There was no use. If he were to keep himself alive, he’d have to
ease out. As the needle went left, he felt tears on the brink. He was going to kill someone,
something…
While descending from 100 to 90, he hit the figure. Or rather, went through it. He
watched it disappear behind his car like fog. After a few minutes, he got the car back
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down to 0. Numb, he pulled over to the shoulder and put the car in park. Looked back
and found nothing.
He folded his arms on the steering wheel and dug his face into them.
I’m losing my mind.
“Logan…”
He finally picked out the voice. He’d been expecting Mattie or Bianca, but no.
This voice was different. This voice…
“Logan…I want you to keep your brother safe, okay baby?”
His mother had said those exact words on the night before she died. Mattie had
been only an infant and he was eleven. He was expected to be a protector to his brother,
was supposed to risk anything to keep him safe…
“Why didn’t you save your brother, Logan?”
It’s just a hallucination. She’s dead. She’s dead. Mom’s dead…
“You could’ve saved him. You could’ve saved us all.”
I’ve lost my mind.
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Chapter 18
Nostalgia
“Sven?”
He looked up from the pile of blankets he was carrying as he lugged his down
comforter downstairs with it wrapped around him like a towel. He gave his aunt a weak
smile.
“Yeees?”
Ariadne tried ran a hand through her hair, but nearly got it stuck instead. “You
can’t sleep either?”
He nodded. “I don’t know how those two aren’t insane. The babies are freaking
loud.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “Hence the reason I’m not having children. Hey wait,
where are you going?”
Sven looked back and forth. “Follow me, but bring all the blankets left in the
linen closet.”
Ariadne was too tired to argue with Sven. Her nephew led her out to their
backyard and into the tree house he’d been building back there with Corydon. As far as
Ariadne knew, it was finished. She watched in interest as Sven climbed up the ladder
he’d put into the tree and shoved the blankets up a hatch. From there, he grabbed his
aunt’s blankets, stuffed them in, and told his shivering aunt to go up first.
She was genuinely surprised by what she saw. He’d covered the entire floor in
blankets already and it had a queen mattress, side table with a lamp, and a TV sitting on
the floor by the bed.
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“This is really cool, Sven.”
Sven popped up from the hatch and jumped in. Even with the curtains on the two
windows carved out of the wood, it was still freezing inside. He grabbed one of the
blankets he’d brought up and wrapped himself in it.
“Yeah, I originally made this so…well, if you got married to Corydon, I’d have
somewhere to go when you guys were doing it every hour and, well, if you had kids, I
could avoid that too. Now…well it’s useful for family.”
Ariadne smiled and grabbed her own blanket. “Well, I like it. It’s peaceful up
here.”
He patted the mattress. “Come on up here. I’m gonna turn off the light soon.”
Ariadne did as told and took one side of the mattress, Sven taking the other. He
flickered off the light.
“At the end of the day you’re another day older. And that’s all you can say for the
life of the poor. It’s a struggle, it’s a war,” Sven sang softly, the song completely stripped
of any curt tone. “And there’s nothing that anyone’s giving. One more day standing
about, what is it for? One day less to be living.”
“At the end of the day you’re another day colder. And the shirt on your back
doesn’t keep out the chill. And the righteous hurry past. They don’t hear the little ones
crying and the winter is coming on fast, ready to kill. One day nearer to dying,” Ariadne
returned, trying to mimic his lack of tone.
“At the end of the day there’s another day dawning and the sun in the morning is
waiting to rise,” they sang together. “Like the waves crash on the sand, like a storm
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that’ll break any second. There’s a hunger in the land, there’s a reckoning still to be
reckoned and there’s going to hell to pay. At the end of the day…”
Sven chuckled. “That song’s so depressing.”
Ariadne smiled. “That whole musical is depressing.”
*
*
*
Crowe ended up back home around midnight, tried to force some of his stress to
dissipate because he found Vivienne and Rose watching a movie, and fell asleep until
three. The next morning, Crowe was not surprised to get Rose’s best friend’s critique.
“Vampire look doesn’t suit you, Mr. C.”
Even so, Vivienne handed him a mug of coffee. He sat down and inhaled the
scent. “Your coffee’s always better than mine,” Crowe commented.
Vivienne smiled. “Well your house is ten times better than mine, so it works.” He
took a long sip. “So how was the ‘Vette? She drive well?”
Crowe hiccupped, but he wasn’t sure if it was the ulcer that he had yet to treat or
his nerves in general. “The ‘Vette? Yeah, yeah, she drives beautifully.”
“Awesome.” Vivienne turned to Rose and lightly pushed her. “Hey, say good
morning to your dad, you bitch.”
Rose smiled and pushed Vivienne back. “Morning, Dad.”
Crowe studied Vivienne for a second. “Morning…So where’s Dorian?”
The girls shrugged. “Sleeping.”
“Is he okay?”
Rose nodded. “A little annoyed that he looks so bad, but he’s fine. Why’d you run
off like that last night?”
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Crowe hiccupped again. “I, I uh—”
“Rose, he needs his man time. Leave it.” Vivienne stole her gaze from her friend
to Crowe. “Right, Mr. C?” He nodded. “Man, you need to work with your daughter. I
need my Crowe time. Fuckin’ Paris trip…”
Rose smiled. “I don’t know if you would’ve liked it.”
“Hello? My BFF Miss Evans and you? Plus, I could’ve gotten to know your new
boyfriend.”
Rose blushed. “You can get to know him now.” Her eyes lit up. “Sven’s got a
vocal lesson today and Miss Evans invited me. You can come too if you want.”
Vivienne considered it. “Sure. You claim he’s such a great singer, so why not?”
Crowe sipped his coffee again. “Just don’t be takin’ him. Rose is supposed to
marry him.”
Vivienne laughed and Rose turned red. “No worries! He’s not my type. Too
short.”
“He’s not that short,” Rose protested.
“He’s probably 5’ 7” and you’re five feet. Of course he’s tall for you.”
*
*
*
Even though she would’ve loved so much more to keep sleeping in Sven’s
freezing tree house with the blankets and combined body heat that took hours to settle,
Ariadne was woken up by her nephew come 8:30 am and given twenty minutes to get
ready to bring Sven to his vocal lesson.
So, although she didn’t get the full makeup and hair done, she did manage to get
ready on time and fit Rose (Vivienne’s “rents” needed her home to clean her room) in the
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front seat with Sven and made it to the lesson on time. Once Sven was welcomed into an
isolated room with a glass door between the room for viewing, Ariadne focused on the
man already seated.
“Ariadne!” the man called as he pulled her into a hug. “C’mon Ari, where’s that
southern grip?”
“I only give the southern grip to people I actually want to hug,” she deadpanned.
The man laughed and slapped Ariadne on the back, knocked her over, and caught
her before she reached the floor. While she gave him the stink eye and fixed her hair, he
laughed again.
“You’re such a dick, Barry Reese,” Ariadne muttered.
Reese was about to make another comment, but he spotted Rose. “Hey Ari, who’s
the girl?”
“Oh, I forgot to tell you? I’m having a lesbian affair with one my students.” Reese
smirked, causing Ariadne to throw her hands up. “Are you really that dense? Rose is
Sven’s girlfriend!”
Reese gave Rose another glance and leaned into Ariadne. “I thought he was gay.”
She glared at him. “He’s metrosexual, okay? Don’t be judging him. He sings
theatre for Christ’s sake.”
Reese nodded. “True enough.” He studied her. “Aren’t you from a redneck
family?”
“Okay look Mr. New York, just because my family lived in Alabama in a shack,
had six kids, were devoutly Christian Republicans, my dad didn’t go to college, and
owned a hunting dog and pick up truck doesn’t mean…” Reese smirked at her. “We lived
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in urban Birmingham, okay?! Rednecks live in rural areas…even if my dad practically
lived in a rural area and took us there…Do you hear a Southern accent right now?”
“When you refer to your students, are they you guys?”
She looked away. “No. You know a lot of people find my accent endearing.”
“Just keep pretending that you didn’t come from a redneck upbringing.”
“Hey man, only one of my brothers is a redneck. Okay, so one’s a douche and
one’s in the army, but the other two are a wimp and an openly gay man. Sven has his
place.”
“Your parents cool with this?”
“Yeah…well they’re happy that he’s not a Satanist?”
Reese rolled his eyes and approached Rose. “I’m Sven’s agent, in case you got
lost in Ariadne’s redneck rant.”
She smiled. “You’ve certainly done a lot of great work for Sven.”
Reese beamed in pride. “I love that boy. Give him a few more years, and he’ll be
playing Marius like an angel. He’s still got some of that immature voice, but he’s a
professional. Got a good shot if you ask me. You ever heard him sing? Hah, who am I
kidding? I bet that’s how he won you.”
Rose smiled and rubbed the back of her neck. “He’s been hiding it, but yeah. He’s
amazing.”
Reese smiled. “Michael Ball, the original Marius, started the role at twenty-four.
I’d say if we get Sven-y here enough training, he could pull the big role at nineteen.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. “You think?”
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“Kids have done it at nineteen. Y’know…the taped concerts love the
youngsters…fits the roles’ proper ages better. But as for the actual talent, yeah, he could
definitely get a role during one of the off tours they do. Maybe put him as Raoul in
Phantom considering his voice and the fact that that damn musical is never leaving
Broadway. Plus, those are just Sven-o’s first choices. There are a hundred others.” The
door opened and Reese greeted Sven with a big hug. “Alright little man, what do you
have for me today?”
“Well nothing for you,” Sven joked as he left Reese and put Rose in a hug.
“Thanks for coming, baby.”
Rose kissed his cheek. “Anytime.” She pulled them apart. “Now come on, I want
to hear you ‘professionally’ sing.”
Sven smiled and waited until his partner, a brunette girl who was a few years
older than him, entered. “Will do but first, Rose, this is Lenni. She’s an aspiring Éponine
and client of Reese. Lenni, this is my girlfriend, Rose.”
Lenni and Rose shook hands. “It’s great to finally meet you.” She nudged Sven.
“Little guy’s been talking about you for months.”
Rose smiled. “So…have you been in any professional productions?”
She shrugged. “Just played Little Cosette a few years back, Jojo in Seussical,
Jessie in Annie Get Your Gun.”
The three viewers were led into the room Sven and Lenni had practiced in and
shook hands with their vocal teacher.
“ ‘A Little Fall of Rain,’ right?” Sven joked as he and Lenni got ready. “Don’t
worry Rosie, she’s gonna have to die anyway.”
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Rose smiled as Sven shook his head and got into acting mode. He put a hand on
Lenni’s shoulder.
“Good God, what are you doing? ‘Ponine, have you no fear? Have you seen my
beloved? Why have you come back here?”
The expression on Lenni’s face was suddenly very serious with the slightest touch
of pain in her eyes. “Took the letter like you said, I met her father at the door. He said he
would give it.” She touched her chest and winced. “I don’t think I can stand anymore.”
“Éponine, what’s wrong?” He touched her hair and brought his hand back slowly.
“There’s something wet upon your hair. Éponine, you’re hurt, you need some help. Oh
God, it’s everywhere!”
Lenni slowly fell into Sven’s arms and got comfortable while Sven lowered
himself to the floor. “Don’t you fret, M’sieur Marius. I don’t feel any pain. A little fall of
rain can hardly hurt me now.” Lenni smiled. “You’re here, that’s all I need to know. And
you will keep me safe. And you will keep me close. And rain will make the flowers grow.”
Sven’s eyes were hardened in determination. “But you will live, ‘Ponine, dear
God above.” His expression turned to a distant sadness. “If I could heal your wounds with
words of love.”
“Just hold me now, and let it be. Shelter me, comfort me.”
“You would live a hundred years if I could show you how. I won’t desert you
now…”
Lenni still remained content. “The rain can’t hurt me now. This rain will wash
away what’s past. And you will keep me safe. And you will keep me close.” She snuggled
into Sven’s arms. “I’ll sleep in your embrace at last. The rain that brings you here is
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Heaven-blessed! The skies begin to clear and I’m at rest. A breath away from where you
are. I’ve come home from so far.”
Sven and Lenni sang their last part in counterpoint, Lenni’s accented by gasps.
“So don’t you fret, M’sieur Marius.” / “Hush-a-bye, dear Éponine.”
“I/You don’t/won’t feel any pain. A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me/you now.”
Sven hugged her in closer as she gasped. “I’m here.”
“That’s all I need to know.”
“And you will keep me safe.” / “I will stay with you.”
“And you will keep me close.” / “Till you are sleeping.”
They joined together into one last line. “And rain will make the flowers…”
Lenni ‘died’ and left Sven to finish the song with one last “grow,” his eyes glassy.
After a few seconds of a dramatic die down, Sven helped Lenni back onto her feet and
she ruffled his hair. Reese was the first to start clapping.
“Wonderful, wonderful! Lenni, darling, you’re the next Lea Salonga!”
“You say that to everyone!” she protested jokingly.
Reese turned to Sven. “Beautiful acting, and the voice of an angel. Dammit, let’s
just get past this puberty, and you’ll be a star, m’boy.”
Sven smiled and rolled his eyes. “Tis been the same words since I turned thirteen,
Mr. Reese.”
Reese turned to Ariadne, who was dabbing her face with a tissue. “Ariadne, your
mascara’s running.”
“And you’re a dick. Congratulations Captain Obvious, you’ve now been
promoted to Admiral.”
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Reese gave her a look like her comment was uncalled for. She opened her mouth
to offer justification, but Reese stopped her.
“No thanks.”
She glared at him as she grabbed Sven and Rose. “You better watch yourself,
Reese. Two tickets to Love Never Dies doesn’t change anything!”
*
*
*
For Ariadne, family meant prioritizing. One hour with the babies until the
babysitter came and an entire night off from family time at the Santa Monica Pier or no
hour with the babies and no escape time because Jacob would want to grill the babysitter
and he’d get miffed and want to rant to her? She chose the first option, figuring two kids
wasn’t as bad as dozens for hours on end.
“Are you sure about this?” Jacob asked her as he got ready to exit the door.
“Definitely. They’ll just sleep, right?”
Jacob glanced at the twins, both asleep in their crib. “They should. If one wakes
up, I’d try to get her away from the other so they don’t wake up. Otherwise, I trust you
know how to change diapers? They already ate and won’t need feeding until the
babysitters come.”
Ariadne began to push Jacob out. “I’m cool, bro. Yes, I can change diapers. Now
go have fun!”
After having kissed both his twins goodnight despite it being about two in the
afternoon, Jacob was gone. As she slightly expected, one of the twins started crying after
about ten minutes. Even with a few minutes needed for her reaction, she got the crying
twin out of bed before she woke her sister.
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“C’mon darling, let’s get back to bed,” she whispered as she rocked the baby.
Ariadne kept moving farther and farther from her guestroom as the baby’s cries
got louder. For a moment, she had a facepalm moment and checked the baby’s diaper.
Clean. Ariadne knelt in front of the couch and put the baby down on her back on the
cushions. She frowned. Even after eleven (fourteen now) nieces and nephews, she had yet
to actually spend more than five minutes of one-on-one time when they were this age.
Why did babies cry if they weren’t hungry or wet or tired? Could she be tired if she had
just been sleeping? What if she was sick? She felt her forehead and concluded that she
felt normal.
Could she possibly just be upset? How do you calm a crying baby? God, why was
she such an idiot with babies? Had Jacob lied and she was hungry? Too lazy to go grab a
bottle, she tried putting her finger in the baby’s mouth. Brooke had said something about
babies sucking if they were hungry. She rejected it, leaving Ariadne to conclude that she
was just upset.
“Well first, I think I should figure out who you are,” Ariadne whispered to the
baby. She was wearing red pajamas. Fiona? Dear God, she hoped she got that one right.
Calling her brother for a baby’s name would be worse than the time she had to hang four
hours upside down in a public park because Mattie had tied her to a tree. “Alright Fi,
what’ll calm you down?”
God, Brooke talked so much about baby pacifying yet she couldn’t recall a single
thing. She huffed and looked down at the baby in her arms and thought about something
she’d either seen in a movie or with one of her siblings. She set Fiona down on the open
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floor, pulled off her jacket, and pulled Fiona back to her, letting the baby’s face rest on
her chest. For a few glorious seconds, the baby stopped crying.
When it started up again, Ariadne was near out of ideas. Babies liked singing, but
she had yet to hear Brooke or Jacob sing to their daughters (or their sons for the matter).
What did they do? Hum? Read?
Reading sounded right. She swore under her breath. The only children’s book she
had was Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach. Could she read an adult book to
Fiona? She glanced down at her coffee table. She had all her school books and nearly
every Star Wars novel in existence. She rolled her eyes and picked up The Phantom of
the Opera, skipping to chapter 24, titled ‘Barrels…Barrels…Any Barrels to Sell?’ Her
students should’ve been at the beginning of the Persian’s narrative, but she remembered
liking chapter 24.
She read a little until the end of the Persian’s narrative (about twenty pages)
before she actually noticed that Fiona had fallen asleep.
“You’ll thank me for that one day,” Ariadne whispered to the baby asleep on her
chest.
She thought about getting up and putting Fiona in her crib, but some strange part
of her told her to stay put. Some part of her liked having the warmth on her chest, liked
feeling the little baby’s chest rise and fall.
She gently rubbed Fiona’s back.
“You’re beautiful, Fi. Never let some girl tell you otherwise. You’re so
beautiful…”
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She kissed the baby’s cheek and wrapped her free arm around her body. For a few
seconds, she closed her eyes and submersed herself in the warmth she and the baby in her
arms were sharing.
She opened her eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall. The babysitter should
be there soon and she figured that she shouldn’t give the sitter two crying babies off the
bat. She peeled Fiona from her chest and put her back into her arms. After wiping off the
trickle of drool she’d left on her chest, she went to open the door.
Come fifteen minutes of explaining schedules later, and Ariadne was grabbed her
papers and purse and drove over to Crowe’s house.
“Yo Loge, are we alone?” she asked after letting herself in.
Crowed looked around. “Yes, we are. Dorian is at a friend’s house.”
She threw her bag onto the counter. “You don’t mind if I stay here for a bit, do
ya?”
Crowe rolled his eyes. “Actually I do. Get out.”
Ariadne laughed and pulled them both to the couch. “So what’s going on in
Logan Land?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Just doctors’ appointments stacked up one after
one another. GP for my ulcer, psychiatrist, barber…”
“A barber is now a doctor?”
“I think I’m starting to grey.”
Ariadne gasped jokingly. “Oh no, you’ve finally lost the race! Bro, did you ever
think that maybe the ulcer and graying has to do with stress? Did you try calming down
yet?”
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“I can’t calm down. I have to fix this shit the kids caused, I have to play
housewife, and now I have to figure out if I need to go back on anti-psychotics.”
Ariadne raised an eyebrow. “I think that one’s a bit extreme.”
“I heard my mom speak to me last night. My dead mom. I haven’t ever heard her,
hell, I haven’t so much as taken more than a few minutes to think about them since they
died. Why did she show up now?”
“Your family decided to gang up on you as a joke because the afterlife is boring?”
“I’m serious, Ariadne!”
“And I am too! My second theory to the whole Catholic afterlife is that dead
people latch onto their alive loved ones and give them crazy advice and shit as well as
fending off demons. And some people, if Jesus likes them, get to not latch onto humans
and just get to hunt demons. That’s what happens to priests after they die and if they
didn’t molest small boys doncha know?”
All Crowe could do was give her the evil eye. “I’m being serious right now,
Ariadne. There’s something wrong with me if I’m hearing voices.”
She put an arm around him. “It’s not necessarily outside-inside voices. You could
just be having your conscience talking to you. I imagine that the guilt of losing Bianca is
digging up old memories. It’s probably normal.”
“But I saw—”
She raised an eyebrow. “Figure? Monster? Beautiful woman? Yeah, I had that
happen to me all throughout my childhood. Overactive imagination. Your daughter has
the same problem. Nothing crazy going on. Bitch, you need to focus on healing this acid
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thing goin’ on, not on your supposed mental issues unless you’re suicidal. Trust me,
stress causes these things sometimes.”
Crowe nodded. “Are you sure?”
“Certain.” She pulled out some tests that she was supposed to grade and started
marking answers at what Crowe interpreted as light speed. “Dude, I’m so screwed up
right now. You think you have life under control, and it just doesn’t happen.”
Crowe smiled. “What’s wrong now?”
“So I was babysitting my niece today and yeah, I spent about forty minutes
standing around like an idiot not knowing how to make her stop crying, but then I got it
man. We did some skin-to-skin and I read classics to her. But when she got to sleep, I
don’t know man, I just…something about it felt so right. I loved the feeling of the silence
around us and us sharing that warmth. I loved hearing her breath on me…I—what’s
wrong with me, Logan?”
He shrugged. “You felt it.”
“I want a kid, Logan. Not a dress up doll. Like…like something that I can actually
love 24-7. I mean, I have Sven, but he doesn’t cuddle any more unless we’re both going
to die from hypothermia in his tree house.” She put her face in her arms. “But I can’t
now.”
He put a hand on Ariadne’s back. “You said the exact same thing about Mattie
before you got with Corydon.”
“Yeah, but he was the one, Loge. I knew it from the moment I said that I loved
him. He’s the one I want to marry, the one I want to have kids with. But now…now he’ll
never get back with me. I’m dead to him.”
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He rubbed her back. “We’re both screwed up, aren’t we?”
She nodded. “Therapy?”
He nodded. “You can be the patient first.”
She stared at him. “Logan, look at me. I’m single, lonely, and sexually
frustrated.”
“Go to church.”
“You go to church! I can’t go back there until I’m over Cor.”
Crowe nodded. “I still say you just go find a new sex partner and you’ll be fine.
Girls don’t need boyfriends anyway. Sexually frustrated? One night stands. Want to talk
to someone? Friends listen better. Want affection? Go guilt Sven into it or go adopt a
puppy until you’re mentally ready for another relationship. Don’t go back in now. We
gotta deal with this bitch with the rubies.”
Ariadne stared at him. “Are you done?”
“Yeah.”
She smiled. “Great! Let’s give the spirits twenty seconds to judge you.” In the
twenty seconds Ariadne gave him, Crowe attempted to point out how ridiculous
Ariadne’s therapy was but got caught off by his hiccups coming back. “There! That’s it!”
“What?” He hiccupped again and put his hand over his mouth.
“Dude, you’re hiding your blush. Don’t kid with me. You’re so anxiety ridden
that you’re embarrassed to be human.”
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not afraid of being human, whatever the hell that means to
you.”
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Ariadne gave Logan the look as if it was obvious. “Logan, look at me. You’re
embarrassed to have the hiccups in front of me. I’ve known you for almost eighteen years
and the first time I ever heard you stifle a burp was when you were fuckin’ drunk. That’s
not normal.”
“Isn’t that called being a gentleman?”
“Not when you’re embarrassed about hiccups! Honestly, I can’t tell if this is
social anxiety or you just thinking you’re the shit. Either way, I think if you can get over
it, you’d have an easier time getting rid of your ulcer.”
“Tell me honestly, Ari. Do you pull this out of your ass?”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re one of those dudes who’s afraid of getting sick in
public too, aren’t you? Tell me.” After a minute or two of Ariadne glaring at him and he
nodded. “See? This isn’t good! Let’s get back to earth, Logan! All your little bodily
problems that you’re having right now, they’re completely normal! Everyone has to deal
with them, but most people can just not give a crap about them. Why waste energy on
being embarrassed? It’s not like anyone still acts like little kids where if you fart in class
you’re suddenly ‘that kid.’ Tell me, deep down, why do you care? Or would you rather
me prod around until I find it?”
“Why did I agree to therapy?”
“Because you knew you had a problem, bitch. That’s why. Just tell me. Is it
anxiety or pride? You must know that.”
He looked away. “I don’t know…anxiety I guess.”
She nodded. “We’re getting somewhere. Now here’s some logic. You know how
much I love to complain about my childhood, right?” He nodded. “Why do you think?
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Cause I had five effing brothers. You know that I’ve dealt with disgusting guy shit since I
was born. You know that if I didn’t let it go over my head, that I’d have committed
suicide by now. So why are you stressed in front of me? It doesn’t make sense, right?
You’re not trying to impress me.” She smiled. “Here Logan, I have a solution for you.
We need to be somewhere more comfortable than this.”
She led him up to his bedroom, where he jumped onto his bed and beckoned him
to follow. He tried to sit down, but Ariadne wanted something more specific.
“Come here and sit down perpendicular from me or curled up in a ball. Whatever
works better.” He did so, his head lying against her side. “No. Come on top of me.” She
pulled him on top of her, his face resting below her chest. “Now I’m just a normal person
here. Perfectly healthy, unlike you. Whaddaya notice?”
“You’ve got toned abs.”
“Ha ha, no I don’t. And I don’t mean how sexy I am. I mean how human am I.”
She had one hand on his face, keeping him down, the other on his chest. “I think we’re
close. Right now, I’d say we’re the most comfortable around each other. I’m not bothered
by this. I don’t care what you hear. It’s all cool. It’s just a lesson in humanity, Loge. Take
anyone: Obama, Abe Lincoln, Mattie, Rose, you, I, we’re all the same. All humans are.
Let’s face it, we’re all just hunks of meat in the end. No biggie.”
She kept him down for another four minutes, him coming off her with a frown,
but no embarrassed expression.
“Please don’t do that again.”
She nodded. “Now will you let me do the same for you?”
“Like…cuddle with me?”
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She looked uncaring. “If that’s what you want to call it.”
“I…I guess…”
She gave him a smile and moved to get to his position. As opposed to the
unnatural position Crowe had been in with Ariadne, she snuggled into him, wrapping her
arms around him and used his torso as a pillow.
“Logan, there’s nothing taboo between us, right?”
“Nope.”
“I’m starting to doubt this Catholic Church sex thing. I mean, I thought I could
handle it cause Cor and I would get married and I’d just get what I wanted. But now,
back at square one, I don’t think I can do it. It’s getting embarrassing, Logan. I’m starting
to think of my older students and coworkers in that way. I’m desperate. What am I
supposed to do? Like, I don’t want to go back to strangers. I’m not on the pill anymore
and I’m not gonna. I just—you get it, right?”
He nodded. “Try one of your friends.”
“Like who? Jasper?” He nodded again. “I would, but Jazzy has a girlfriend and all
my other guy friends are either too old or gay. I’m not going back down the lesbian road.
It sucks.”
He hiccupped again and Ariadne squeezed his tense hand until he relaxed. “I get
you. I mean, sometimes I get that way too but…well it just feels wrong. Bianca was my
soul mate. I can’t just go move onto another girl, can I?”
She shrugged. “If you’re close enough to her…”
He shook his head. “I don’t have any girl friends.”
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A few moments passed with them thinking in silence before they caught gazes.
They kept eye contact for maybe five seconds before breaking it, laughing nervously.
“No, no, that’d be…” Crowe began.
“So wrong…”
“Yeah I mean…we’re just friends. You slept with my brother. We couldn’t…”
“You’re too needy.”
“You’re too experienced.”
They shook their heads. “God, that was a stupid idea…”
“I know. I mean, us? That’s just fucked up. Our kids are dating…”
Ariadne’s expression faltered. “We wouldn’t necessarily have them find out.”
Crowe’s expression grew curious. “Protection…” He frowned. “We wouldn’t
have to do it…”
Ariadne nodded. “It wouldn’t hurt anyone. It would just be casual.
Just…indulgent. No feelings. No awkwardness.”
Crowe bit his lip. “Could we…really do that?”
Ariadne looked away. “I guess so.” They caught glances and Ariadne hesitantly
unzippered Crowe’s jeans. As she pulled his jeans down, she rolled off him and got on
her side. “Should we get under the covers or something? If this is casual, we don’t need
to see anything.”
Crowe nodded and they scrambled under the covers where Crowe pulled down
Ariadne’s pants.
“You first,” Crowe said.
“Why me?”
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“I don’t know…you’re more used to this. You have to guilt me into doing a good
job.” She rolled her eyes and stuck her hand under the covers. But, nothing happened. For
a few seconds, all they did was lock eyes, overwhelming feelings pushing all restraint and
logic aside. Neither was sure who made the first move, just that Ariadne pulled Logan’s
shirt off and he shoved his tongue down her throat. A counter followed each move:
Logan threw off her shirt and bra with ease, and she started rubbing up against him.
“This better be worth it for me,” she warned as she put her arms around him.
“I have been married before. Just chill out.”
Once the rubbing produced enough excitement for them, Logan pulled himself on
top of her.
They went through each step relying solely on impulse and quick fix pleasure: no
foreplay, with the haste of a quickie in an airport bathroom.
“C’mon pretty boy, I could get myself off faster than this,” she said as he first
began his work inside of her.
“If you’d get in rhythm with me, it would go faster.”
They caught rhythm within seconds, leaving the next several minutes to showing
off, seeing just how fast and rough they could push each other.
By the time climax was said and done, Crowe pulled out and slumped into the
bed, catching his breath. He was pleased to see that his young partner was just as sweaty
and hard of breath as him.
A dead silence soon washed over them. Slowly, they looked to each other.
“Logan?”
“Yeah?”
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“What did we just do? And uh, did we just do it unprotected?”
“…Shit.”
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Chapter 19
Below the Green
In order to calm both Crowe and her frenzying nerves, she had to resort to
something she’d probably rather get a Brazilian wax than do.
Standing in line at the local pharmacy, paranoid beyond belief that she’d have a
run-in with Corydon, she shifted the Plan B box in her slick palms. When she glanced
down at the box, her stomach twisted in both fear and shame. Out of all contraception,
she’d used Plan B all of maybe two times, and the experience had almost been fitting to
the sin she committed. For her, it was one thing to keep little half children from meeting
their other halves and it was a whole other to actually kill the zygote after the pair was
formed. To her, that pair was already a unique little person. Sure, not as much of a person
as maybe a three-month-old fetus, but it still counted. She rubbed her temples; how could
she have gone from so pious to so sinful? She missed Corydon.
Swallowing her shame, she went straight from the check out counter to her
bathroom, locking the door before taking out the package.
By the third hour, Sven knocked on her door. “Aunt Ariadne, you’ve been in there
a while. Are you okay?”
The first attempt to take the pill resulted in her vomiting maybe ten minutes after.
Knowing she probably didn’t absorb anything, she waited another fifteen minutes before
taking another dose. She threw that one up after a couple minutes. Waiting another hour,
she was on her third try. Despite the ever-present nausea on top of the headache and
dizziness, she was doing okay.
“I’m fine, Sven. Just woman problems.”
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His loud footsteps drew out his response.
Somehow, Ariadne did manage to sit in the back of a church service, but felt too
sinful to go for a Confession just yet. Sven had a project to work on, and considering he
wasn’t exactly needed, Ariadne let him slide for the work that day. And, if she and Crowe
were honest, they only really needed Rose.
“Alright Rose, there’s an attic up above Barrow’s—” Crowe began to explain to
his daughter as he parked.
“Can we just call her Hayden?” Ariadne asked. “This whole Barrow-Barro thing
is getting too confusing. Besides, the chick we’re getting this back for is named Erin.”
Rose’s attention moved to Ariadne. “Then why did you guys always call her
Hayden Barro?”
“She goes by her husband’s name in the criminal world. She’s a forger by career.”
Rose nodded and Crowe gave Ariadne a brief glare. “As I was saying, there’s an
attic that I want you to investigate. Just give me a few minutes go to get the front door
open without leaving tracks.”
Rose looked around the area. “What’s the chance that Hayden will return?”
Ariadne and Crowe exchanged a look. “Seems like she took her kids to swimming
lessons…”
“Who owns a pool and goes somewhere else for swimming lessons? Richies…”
She turned to Crowe. “I bet you’re one of them.”
“I’m just not gonna comment.”
Crowe went off toward one of his five entrances, Ariadne screaming about how
much of a pussy he was. Once he was out of shot, Ariadne turned to Rose.
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“Where did he teach you to swim?”
“My pool?”
Ariadne didn’t break her gaze. “With a swim instructor?”
Rose smiled weakly. “Yeah.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “Like I said, you rich fucks.” Rose gave her a slightly
scared look so she smiled to counter it. “Aw c’mon Rose, I love y’all. Logie’s like my
BFF/fantasy partner/brother/business partner/therapist/DILF and you’re my future
niece/fellow girl.”
Rose smiled. “Fellow girl?”
“My mom didn’t count when it mattered and yeah, you’re pretty much the first
sort of niece figure I’ve had. I don’t really see my real nieces that often. Whatever. Is that
creepy?”
“Yeah Ms. Evans, I’m completely turned off to talking to you. Come on!”
Rose could’ve sworn that she saw Ariadne blush. “Well, like I said, I don’t hang
out with girls often. But uh, Rose…on a personal note, if you need a mother figure, you
can always settle for me with any of those questions you don’t want to ask your dad.”
Rose blushed. “What, like what?”
“Oh, you know…dads don’t believe that birth control is a health benefit. Stuff
like that. You know, gyno shit.”
“You’d…do that? Even after knowing me for only a year?”
Ariadne patted Rose’s upper back. “Honey, I’m your fuckin’ godmother. If
someone’s going to get all way too personal in your life when your ma dies, it’s gonna be
me.”
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Rose chuckled. “So you’d get me the pill if I asked?”
“And you give me a legit excuse.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. “What is legit to you?”
“Dysmenorrhea and juvenile copulation.”
Rose stared blankly at her. “Teen sex and what?”
Ariadne smiled. “Painful periods. Yup, I can just drop these awkward bombs
whenever. But yeah, honestly, that’s all I need and I’ll hook you up. Trust me, my gyno’s
a saint; only reprimanded me once for being an unpaid whore over a seven-year period.
She’s chill.”
Somehow the prostitute remark hit Rose as the “go before things get worse” line.
She smiled at Ariadne and told her that she was going to go explore. Rose couldn’t help
noticing that it really wasn’t that impressive of a house, despite the space. To her, white
walls and Spanish style orange tile roofs were nothing special. The woman had all the
typical planters on her house and dark windowpanes. Nothing special. If she were honest,
the only good part of the place was the beautiful vegetation that she’d planted. It made
her pool look like a jungle water hole and left the tennis court relieved by shade. Plus, all
the green was just pleasant to look at and walk through. It reminded Rose of camping
trips her dad used to take her on as a kid where they’d explore the trees and rivers for
hours. She was almost tempted to take her shoes off, but resisted, reminding herself of
where she was.
Rose eyed a colorful looking fruit tree and found herself drawn to it. Where was
her dad? Wasn’t he supposed to contact her if he got into that attic? It certainly couldn’t
take him so long to get into a house. What was Ariadne doing as well? Rose could only
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guess that her bored without a job would only result in disaster such as her suggested
“ghostriding in Betty.”
Rose was only slightly aware of the dirt shifting before she’d lost her footing
completely. For the next few seconds, all she was aware of was a sudden pain in ankle
and a skin across her arm as she fell into some kind of hole that fell for several feet.
She landed with a thud onto a hard, cold dirt floor. She slowly rose to her feet and
looked up, able to see the overcast December sky. She felt the sides of the hole she’d
fallen down, surprised that it was made of some kind of cool metal. Where the hell am I?
Rose thought as she looked forward.
The natural light didn’t stretch far, but as far as she could tell, the tunnel forward
looked pretty solid. She took a few steps forward and felt the side of the tunnel as it got
darker. It was still made of metal.
She pulled out her cell phone as a meager light source. With it, two things were
picked up. One, the tunnel was definitely made for a good reason. Two, her arm was
bleeding, bleeding enough that she didn’t know if it was just a skin or something else.
She looked back up and judged it to be an eight-foot climb. She decided forward against
up.
*
*
*
Crowe met Ariadne in the attic space after a few minutes of testing out different
entrance routes. He originally tried to get his partner to stay outside, but she reminded
him that Rose wouldn’t be able to break into any security systems that might exist in the
attic.
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“You really think she has cameras set up?” she asked him as she pulled down the
fold up attic ladder.
“All people who live around here do. Besides, this attic might be where she’s
keeping the statue.”
As Crowe unfolded the ladder, Ariadne studied the place. “She must not think
she’s out of the clear. Otherwise, why would she be hiding it?” The point was a good one.
Crowe shrugged and started climbing up. “Why did you need Rose up here? It’s not that
small.”
Crowe didn’t want to admit that he really just wanted to keep an eye on his
daughter, something that ironically he was very far from doing then. Once they were up,
Crowe turned on a light and closed the hatch. The room wasn’t huge, but it was pretty
easy to work from. All they had to do was pull some cloths off and they found several
new Macs. Crowe took a step back.
“Go crazy.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes and turned the two screens on, the immediate picture
being security around the area. She laughed. “Look who got into the digital age. Damn, I
like VHSes.”
Crowe glanced over. “So it’s easy?”
Ariadne snorted. “Dude, this is like deleting any file. What are we taking out?”
“Anything with us in it.”
For a moment, Ariadne was fascinated by all the views of the house that showed
up on the screens. She had her bedrooms rigged, her kitchen, her children’s playrooms,
her backyard, and…
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“She has Indiana Jones playing!” Ariadne exclaimed, delight in her voice.
Crowe ran over the screens. “Where?” Ariadne pointed to a shot with a figure
walking through a tunnel, pitch black except for a weak light. Crowe studied it closely.
“Honey, Indiana Jones doesn’t look like that.”
Ariadne studied it harder. “Where is that then?”
Crowe’s stomach sank. “Where’s Rose?”
They exchanged a brief glance before Crowe pulled out his cell phone and dialed
her number. He watched as the figure in the picture took the light source and put it to its
ear just as the other line picked up.
“Rose?” Crowe asked, staring at the screen.
“Yeah?”
“Where are you?”
There were some shuffling sounds on the other end. “Uh, I’ll be honest. I have no
idea.”
Ariadne and Crowe exchanged one last look. “Does it look like a tunnel?”
“Yupp.”
“How did you get in there?”
“By her fruit tree near the outskirts there was this sinkhole. I fell in and the climb
was too high for me so I’m looking around. Umm, don’t freak out, but I skinned my arm
on the way down.”
Crowe was set in a panic. “I’m going to go get you.”
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“No! Dad, don’t! It’s even small in here for me. You couldn’t get anywhere. I’m
good down here. I’ll call when I need help getting out. Wait…how do you know where I
am?”
“It’s on security camera. We’re in the attic I told you about.”
“Alright. Well, this thing only goes one way. Talk to you later.”
The line went dead, leaving Crowe in an odd state of shock. “Did she just hang up
on me while she’s stuck in a tunnel?”
Ariadne shrugged. “Your gal loves those tunnels. I taught her how to navigate
through the catacombs. She’s probably used to it.”
Crowe slid to the floor and watched Ariadne work. Normally, this wouldn’t have
seemed out of the ordinary, but Crowe wasn’t giving his normal let’s get this over with
look.
“Ariadne, we have to talk about yesterday.”
Ariadne sighed. “What about it?”
“What do you mean ‘what about it’? Ariadne, we slept with each other!”
She shrugged. “So we used each other as sex toys. It’s no big deal. Neither of us
have STDs and I just took Plan B. We’re in shallow water. Honestly, what, did you get
some emotional thing out of that? Cause I’m pretty sure it was just a casual thing.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “That’s not the point. We risked getting you
pregnant for some thrills. We—we’re business partners. You dated my brother. Hell, you
almost married my brother. We can’t do things like that.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “Then we won’t do it any more. Whatever.”
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“Ari, how do you not feel anything from that? It’s like we touched doppelgangers.
It was just—Ariadne, we’re everything that can’t lead to that kind of relationship. We just
crushed every wall we’d placed between each other. For God’s sake, we might be in-laws
one day! We can’t be doing this.”
“Logan, for God’s sake, we were weak. Maybe we made a mistake. We were both
desperate for some affection. Calm down. We didn’t break any sacred codes. Mattie’s
dead. Bianca’s dead. There’s no tangible reason that we shouldn’t have done that. I
admit, yes, maybe I feel a little bad since you’re a recent widower. But honestly, I don’t
see it any different than a friends with benefits thing.” She studied him. “What are you
onto? Do you think we’re going to start a relationship because of this?”
He stared at her. “Isn’t that what you wanted? You’ve been crushing on me since
1994.”
She threw her hands up. “Logan! I got over that years ago! Yeah, sure, some
stupid immature teenage part of me was flipping out that I got Logan Crowe in bed, but it
doesn’t mean that I’d start a relationship with you. You’re still in mourning and it just
wouldn’t work out. I know that.”
“Then why did we finally give in? What changed?”
She gave him a dumbfounded look. “What are you saying? Do you think God is
trying to put us together? Slow down Crowe, cause you’re an atheist. Look Logan: we
slept with each other. No more. We just go back to where we were, which in this case is
getting our videos back.”
Before she could hear Crowe’s response, she was pulled off her chair and into
Crowe’s arms, where he crushed his lips against hers. She gasped at the forwardness, at
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the familiar way his lips felt against hers, yet it all felt strange and new. He was kissing
her back, and he knew it. In Paris, he hadn’t kissed back. In his backyard, he didn’t know
what the hell was up from down. Now, now, with the emotions flowing off him like
cologne, Ariadne was choked in the moment. She eagerly played back, their tongues
sliding past one another. In those long moments, she forgot where she was, who she’d
loved in the past, and everything in between.
Even as they pulled away, all she could think was Logan Crowe kissed me. She
slowly got back up into her chair and waited for Crowe to lift his head so she could see
his expression. He had to provide an explanation for that one.
“So how did you like it?” he asked.
Ariadne fought a smile. “It was good.”
He finally showed his face, a smug grin on his face. “Doesn’t feel casual, now
does it?”
Her expression fell. “What?”
He wiped his mouth. “It was casual. Oh wait, that’s right, no it wasn’t. You know
why? Because no matter what we do, everything will always be wrong for us. If it wasn’t
for Rasim, you’d be married to my brother. We can never be together, and tempting fate
isn’t worth the pain it’ll cause both of us. Promise me, promise me right now that we’ll
forget that we ever got intimate last night, and add that kiss onto it all. It can never
work.”
She looked away, hoping the tears stinging in her eyes were from hormones. “I
promise.”
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Crowe sighed. “Ari, it’s not like I don’t like you.” He grabbed her hand. “It’s
just—look Ariadne, you’re beautiful, you’re funny, you’re got this great, bubbly
personality, you know how to speak your mind, and shit you know what you’re doing in
bed, but it just can’t work, okay?”
She nodded and pushed his hand away from hers. “You could’ve stopped us
before you made me feel like an idiot.”
“Ariadne—”
“No. You know what, just stop. I don’t need this shit. I would never date you, and
just reminded me why. If it wasn’t for your wife, you would’ve been a manipulative
bastard of a boyfriend. Admit it, Logan. You thought that because I was once in lust with
you that you’d be able to manipulate me into feeling like a stupid slut for sleeping with
you. Open your eyes Faithful, cause you just fucked someone who wasn’t your wife.”
Ariadne glanced the screens and gave herself a mental job well done before
storming out.
*
*
*
Rose hated to admit it, but she really loved walking through that tunnel, barely
able to see, having to rely on groping the sides of the tunnel to make sure she hadn’t
completely faded into darkness. She couldn’t comparing it the Paris catacombs, noticing
how the dirt crackled as she stepped in the new tunnel, and how the claustrophobia that
was making her heart beat hard in her chest was also exhilarating.
How had she not realized this spelunking interest before? If she hadn’t gone on
the Paris trip, would she have never discovered it? Then again, if she hadn’t gone on the
Paris trip, she’d have been a world away from where she was then.
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By the time she finally ran into something solid, she’d been so focused that she
nearly scared herself half to death. Once recovered, she held her phone up to it.
It was a dead end. When she scanned it, she failed to find any handles or
doorknobs on it. She put an ear to it and knocked. Judging by the echo, it was empty. And
that’s when it hit her.
The statue.
It was the perfect place to hide the statue. What, aside from the fact that no one
would even think that someone would have an underground tunnel below their house, it
was probably more fit for a child to be walking through there. It was a flawless hiding
place. Hell, no one over 5’ 8” could probably even fit in there, so who could any thief
really put in? Most didn’t have the resources. Rose smiled and started running back
toward the surface.
As expected, her dad had found the spot and was ready with a ladder to get her
out. Although she would’ve thought to immediately tell her dad about her revelation, but
something in his face told her that he wasn’t exactly focused on the job. So, like the good
daughter she was trying to show him she still was, she didn’t press any buttons and
followed him back to his car and home again, dropping an unusually quiet Ariadne off at
her home along the way.
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Chapter 20
Rants
“You sure about this?” Ariadne asked Sven as he adjusted his scarf later that day.
“I’m certain.”
He started to walk toward Jacob, but Ariadne stopped him once more. “Sven,
honestly, are you sure about this?”
He gave his aunt a weak smile. “Aunt Ariadne, I appreciate your concern, but I’m
not even going to be flying. Trust me, it’s all good.”
Ariadne exchanged a look with her brother, who was just as casual as Sven. He
rolled his eyes. “Let him go, Arr.”
She gave her nephew a kiss and finally started walking away. “Hey Jake, I’m
gonna get your wife to tell me about all the embarrassing things you do during sex. I’ll
see you both in a few hours.”
Jacob laughed the comment off, but couldn’t help but question his nephew once
she was gone.
“Isn’t she your sister?”
“Isn’t she your adopted mother?”
“Touché.”
Jacob pulled his brown leather gloves as Sven gawked at the plane his uncle’s
friend had lent to them, a pretty well kept Piper Tomahawk.
“You sure about this, Sven? You look nervous,” Jacob commented.
“No, no, I’m fine. C’mon, let’s get going.” He glanced at his uncle. “You’re
flying, right?”
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Jacob smiled. “Yeah, I’m controlling, but you’re gonna be my copilot. If you get
comfortable, I’ll let you control with my help. Deal?”
Sven stuck his shaking hands into his pockets. “Let’s go.”
Although Sven had been playing flight simulation games since he was a little kid,
there was something completely overwhelming about actually getting into the plane and
having the cockpit stare back at you with the hundreds of controls.
“How do you do this without freaking out?” Sven asked as he took a seat.
Jacob shrugged as he took his seat. “You get used to it. C’mon buddy, Ariadne
says you’ve been driving since you were thirteen. Shouldn’t be too hard.”
Sven forced a smile. “Well yeah, but that’s totally different…”
Jacob gave a dismissive wave. “Alright, just watch for this round. If you like it,
I’ll teach you the controls.”
Sven tried not to hold his breath as the plane left the ground. Although, as the
plane climbed and the view became clearer and clearer, Sven relaxed on his own.
“God Uncle Jacob, this is amazing!” Sven gushed as he pressed himself against
the window.
*
*
*
As in a typical Ariadne/Brooke fashion, Brooke called her local babysitter back so
she and sister-in-law could more easily chat.
“Alright, now look, I know the how, but uh, how did you end up with two more
kids?” Ariadne asked.
Brooke gave her a look. “Things happen?”
Ariadne smirked. “Another non-intercourse encounter gone wrong?”
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Brooke lightly pushed her. “Hey! It wasn’t a ‘gone wrong’ moment, it was a
beautiful miracle.”
Ariadne snorted. “Oh yeah, honey. You clearly don’t remember what you told
me.”
“Well enough about my kids. What’s going on with you? Where’s this boyfriend
that you talked about in August?”
Ariadne sighed. “He and I broke up a week or so ago from irreconcilable
differences. Not that it matters. All men are bastards anyway.”
Brooke raised an eyebrow. “Did he break up with you because he said you
couldn’t make a good sandwich?”
Ariadne glared at her. “I broke up with him because he didn’t understand my
prioritizing Sven above him and no, all men are bastards because they just are.”
“Aww Ari, what happened?”
She took a deep breath. “So my best guy friend and I were talking the other night
and we were trying to sort of get over our loss of significant others where in his case his
wife died a few months ago and we kind of got weird…”
Brooke’s eyes brightened just like Melissa’s when she and Ariadne exchanged
juicy gossip. Ariadne could never figure out why Jacob married the Miami-born girl
sitting next to her, but then again, she appreciated the non-Southern chick attitude she
had. “How weird?”
“Fourth base. Major league.”
“Oh Jesus Ariadne, just speak plain English.”
“We slept together! Did I really have to say that out loud?”
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Brooke gave her a sympathetic look. “I totally understand how you feel. Same
thing happened to me with the boys except there were a few extra things in there. You
worried about getting loaded?”
“I fucking hate Plan B.”
“Lucky bitch.” She smiled. “I’m just kidding! I love Codes and Beau.” Ariadne
gave her a confused look. “Okay whatever. So you guys got nasty. Whatever. Why’s that
so bad?”
Ariadne held her hand out. “I dated, loved, screwed, and almost married his dead
brother.” She put her pointer finger up. “He’s twelve years older than me and has a
teenage daughter.” Her middle finger went up. “Sven and his daughter are dating.” Her
ring finger went up. “Need I say more?”
“Damn.”
“It doesn’t end there. Then my so called friend is in such denial that we did
anything that he has the nerve to say that I’m in love with him and that it’s my fault that
he strayed from his dead wife. He has yet to give me an apology.”
Brooke put a hand on her sister-in-law’s shoulder. “Let me just tell you that he’s
not really that much of an asshole. I’m sure he’s just really guilty about his ‘straying from
his wife’ that he thought he had no other options than to deny it. But damn, did he throw
the Years into it?”
Ariadne crinkled her brow. “You mean the unpaid whore thing?” She nodded.
“Not directly. But…I don’t know, Brooke. It just pisses me off, y’know? Like, how could
I have gotten so unlucky with the romance thing? I swear, I’m so done with it.”
“So what are you gonna do? Go become a lesbian?”
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Despite Brooke’s joking tone, the idea struck something in Ariadne. “Maybe
you’re onto something. Maybe…grad school was the best time in that period of time and
it was when I was hooking up with Melissa. What if I am bi?”
Brooke gave her a completely dumbfounded look. “Uhh, honey, I think you’d
know by now if you’re bi. College doesn’t really count for sure. And besides, I know
when you were happiest, and it was when you were with guys.”
Ariadne rubbed the back of her neck. “It doesn’t mean that it isn’t possible…”
Brooke grabbed Ariadne’s shoulders. “You’re talking crazy. What are you gonna
do? Call Melissa and try to bring out her bi side and then you two can get married and
she can be the mother in your relationship and you can have one of your brothers donate
sperm so it’s like having biological children?”
“I don’t know…women are just so much easier to deal with than men.”
“Ariadne, come on! So your last beau didn’t work out and you caught your best
friend at a bad time. How do you know your old boyfriend won’t come back? It’s only
been a few weeks.”
Ariadne looked away. “He won’t. I know.”
Brooke rolled her eyes. “They all say that. Look babe, when he comes back
knocking on your door, don’t hold the grudge on him. Think of it as forgiving family.”
“Why should I do that?”
Brooke’s stare intensified. “Because you still love him.”
Ariadne shook her head. “I don’t love him.”
“If you didn’t love him, then you wouldn’t have decided to start swinging the
other way just because he left.”
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Ariadne took a deep breath. “Do I seem bi to you?”
“You seem very, very confused.”
“Hey, you get my screwed up life, right?”
Brooke shrugged. “More than all your other in-laws.”
“If I made out with a FTM, did I do it with a guy or girl?”
Brooke bit her lip. “If you’re sensitive to that kind of thing, it was a guy.” She
studied her. “What exactly was grad school like? What were you even studying?”
“Education. It was basically touchy-feely reflections by day and insane lesbian
adventures by night. It was wild.”
Brooke’s eyes widened for a second. “You may have had the strangest college
experience I have ever heard of.”
Ariadne nodded. “Yo can we get real again? I need some sister-in-law advice.”
“Of course.”
Ariadne sighed. “I’ve been getting these weird feelings lately. Children type
feelings…” Judging by Brooke’s expression, she hadn’t explained yet. “Like having
children things. How do you know that you’re ready for kids?”
“Well you know my story…”
“But you could’ve put the boys up for adoption. Why did you choose to keep
them? Aside from familial pressure, why?”
Brooke blew at her bangs. “I just…I don’t know, felt some kind of motherly
connection with them when they were born. Like, you just stare down at them and think,
‘Jesus, these small humans are my children’ and just start thinking about the love you’re
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going to get and give, and it’s just kind of this pure, amazing experience. But uh, yeah,
don’t have kids unless you truly wanna deal with it all.”
“I think I want kids.”
Brooke studied her. “Do you consider Sven your son?”
Ariadne shrugged. “I…I guess I do.”
“You know that you’re doing a great job with him, right? I feel like none of the
family really acknowledges it. He could’ve ended up a lot more messed up if it wasn’t for
you. I truly think that he really could’ve only blossomed living with you. If you decide to
have kids, I’d say go for it once you find a man. You’re a good mom…just not the…
traditional one.”
Ariadne smiled. “Thanks Brooke. It means a lot that you said that.”
She blushed. “What can I say? Just speaking the truth. I know I wouldn’t have
had the balls to take in a possibly abused nephew from my own brother and then call him
out on it.”
Ariadne raised an eyebrow. “Has he ever talked about changing?”
“Dunno. I mean, obviously Al and Gabby are fine kids and I think they’ve grown
up in a good household. Does Sven ever talk about them?”
Ariadne shook her head. “He likes pretending that they’re just his cousins. I’ve
never really pushed the subject. Figured it’s more one of those talk-about-it-if-he-asks
kind of things. Is that bad?”
“Seems fine. Hey, uh, why is Jacob taking Sven in a tiny plane?”
Ariadne smiled. “Sven wants to be a pilot among his Luftwaffe obsession, theatre
career, and rise to the Senate. I told him to go to the Air Force Academy and study
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political science, serve his six years, and then juggle doing theatre gigs between having a
small political gig. But hey, if he becomes a circus performer, I’ll be okay with it.”
“Isn’t the Luftwaffe something Nazi?”
“Technically it’s the German Air Force, but I just call it the Nazi Plane People.
Yeah, I’m mean.”
Brooke laughed. “Don’t tell Rebecca or Clare, but you’re my favorite sister-inlaw. God.”
Ariadne put her arm around Brooke. “Amen to that, sister. You’re the only one
who didn’t get mad at me for hanging up on you at least twice in Paris.”
Brooke laughed. “Oh yes, the ‘hold on I’m screwing a couple freshmen right
now.’”
Ariadne gave a forced smile. “Yeah, don’t worry, that was on video and all my
coworkers have seen it and have yet to let me live it down.”
Brooke laughed again. “You must be famous in your school.”
She smirked. “I shall be once I pickpocket my friend Jasper. Until then, I can
settle for ‘the insane one.’”
*
*
*
Sven was shocked by the time he and Jacob finally made it home. He couldn’t
believe how much of a rush the whole experience had been. He thought he’d never be
able to see the fun in driving cars again. It might’ve taken him an hour to so to get over
his fears that came with controlling the plane, but by the time he finally got his hands on
the controls, it almost second nature. He could still feel the phantom butterflies in his
stomach as the plane soared.
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Everyone except for the twins were awake when he got back after a dinner with
his uncle. His aunt was up with the babies and Ariadne was grading papers.
“Aww, look who’s the procrastinator now!” Sven joked.
“I’m actually getting ahead and for the record, I’m only up so I can wish Jasper a
happy birthday at midnight like what he does to me.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Is this from malice or love?”
“Malice. I wanted to kill him when he called me on my birthday. You don’t call
me on midnight on a Monday night. So how was flying?”
He beamed. “It was great. I think I want to do it for a career.”
Ariadne smiled right back at him. “I’m so glad that you think that way. It’s
always a great feeling when you get that feeling.”
Sven chuckled. “Yeah. Well, have fun torturing Mr. Barnett. I’m gonna get to
bed. School tomorrow.”
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Chapter 21
Parentals
Rose knew that she shouldn’t be cursing the sun for showing up in December, but
something about it was just bothersome. For one, it meant that she couldn’t wear any of
the sweaters she loved to put on during cold weather, and it didn’t set the right mood for
visiting her mom.
The week had gone by in a blur of red and green, cookies, and small gifts
exchanged between friends. As Rose took strolls through her neighborhood, the gleaming
Christmas lights and decorations that had once been a joy suddenly seemed out of place.
The faint sound of ‘Silver Bells’ playing in malls only represented one thing to her.
Her mother would not be joining her for Christmas.
She never would again.
She’d driven alone to the cemetery, her father off to buy Christmas presents,
although she bet that he was more trying to set things right with Ariadne. Rose had been
forced for the past week to play messenger between them, and she could only guess that
they were still fighting simply for the sake of fighting. Or, at least she convinced herself
of that in order to hide the annoyance of them not saying what they were arguing over.
She and Sven had been talking about it for a while, but they hadn’t gotten anywhere.
She pulled out a bouquet of flowers and locked her car. As she passed grave after
grave, she couldn’t help shivering at the thought that these graves represented people,
people that someone out in the world was missing as much as she missed her mom. How
many mothers and fathers had been buried this place? How many siblings, how many
children? She hated thinking about it. Above all, though, she hated thinking that her
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mother shouldn’t be dead. She hated the thought that her mother’s killer could come back
and look at her grave without remorse.
It was days like that where Rose hated her father for not filing a murder case. She
wanted so badly for her mother to be vindicated, to see her killer suffer. She ran her free
hand down her cheek, wiping away building tears.
Finally, she found her grave. Her father’s flowers from the past Monday were still
there, but were wilting. Rose didn’t bother changing them out, instead simply placing her
bouquet next to her father’s.
She found herself stretching across the grass in front of her mother’s grave.
“I hope you’re doing okay, wherever you are. I’m not really sure what happens to
you guys after you die, but I hope it’s good. I hope you’re with some old family members
or Mattie. Please don’t be mad that you died so soon. Dad and I are mad enough for all of
us.”
Rose took a deep breath. What had happened to her over the months? She could
clearly remember a time when she hadn’t been angry over her mother’s death. How had
she gotten so much worse? She hated thinking that her spite had grown. It just wasn’t her
style; she wasn’t a violent person. So why did she want to see her mother’s killer hurt so
bad?
How had she agreed to stealing with Sven? Didn’t she hate the idea of it mere
months back even with her father’s support? So how was it possible that she agreed on
her own without her father’s support to steal? Was it in her blood? Did being a Crowe
make her thief?
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She hung her head in shame. If she thought she could fight the grime in her veins
before, there was no way to do it at that point. She had reached the point of no return.
There was no way to go back. She was a thief and it hurt her to admit it.
“God Mom, I miss you so much that it hurts. I mean, I guess I’ve gotten where I
can function, but God, I just…it’s been a hard time. I hate that Christmas is coming
without you being with us. With the way Dad’s going, I don’t even feel like he wants to
have Christmas this year.” She took a deep breath. “I love you, Mom. Nothing is ever
going to change that. I’ll always be your little girl and—”
“I love you too, baby.”
Rose jumped back and nearly fell into another grave. “Jesus Sven, there’s a bunch
of dead people around here!”
Sven laughed and pulled her back to her feet. “Sorry if I was interrupting
anything.”
“You weren’t. Just…I don’t know, talking to her sometimes feels like it helps.”
Sven nodded. “Did it help today?”
Rose frowned. “Not really. What’s up?”
She and Sven sat down. “Not much. Figured I’d come find you. I mean, after all,
it is Winter Break and I still need to buy you a Christmas present.”
Rose laughed. “How about you get me a zebra Pillow Pet and I’ll get you a
moose?”
Sven smiled. “Hey there, I wanted a whale. How could you not know that?”
Rose smiled. “What kind of whale?”
“Orca. It’s only on the website, yo.”
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“So it’s orca or moose for second? Should I add the pink dinosaur on last?”
“Hellz yeah. You’re zebra then rainbow unicorn, right?”
“You forgot about the tiger if they’re out of unicorns.”
They shared a laugh and a quick kiss. Then, they lay back down, Sven pulling
Rose into his arms.
“Is it bad to say that I wish my parents were dead?” he asked, looking around.
Rose felt her heart skip a beat. “Um, depends on if you mean you want to kill
them or not.”
Sven backtracked. “No, no, not like that. Like…it just seems so much easier to
have dead parents than parents who don’t want you, y’know?”
Rose instantly regretted the murderer comment. “Do you feel like that?”
He nodded. “I just don’t get how I could be such a bad kid that both my parents
didn’t want me. I mean, it’s like my mom didn’t even give me a chance and…God Rose,
it’s just so confusing sometimes. What did I do? Why wasn’t I good enough for them?”
She squeezed his hand. “You know it wasn’t your fault.”
He sighed. “Sometimes I just wish that I was Aunt Ariadne’s child. She wouldn’t
have made my life so difficult. She actually loves me and treats me like I’m someone’s
son. Sure, she has no sense of her age, but at least she was there for me. I mean,
sometimes I just think about all she’s done and…God, does it make me bad that I’m
thinking like this?”
Rose took a deep breath. “I wouldn’t bother yourself thinking like that. It’s…it’s
not like you can change anything. Your parents will always be the same people they
were. If you don’t mind me asking, why did you mom leave?”
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Sven shrugged. “Dad used to say that she was too flighty for motherhood. Said
she couldn’t be bogged down with something like that. She’s somewhere in Haiti or
something now. Aunt Ariadne says she’s a voodoo priestess but then again she also
thinks that hippos are going to take over the world.”
Rose smiled. “Just be grateful that your aunt kept you. Do you view her as your
mother?”
Sven shrugged. “Not really…well…I don’t know, sometimes I do more than
others. She doesn’t make it easy what with her Star Wars obsession, the partying, and her
inappropriate lines. Other times, well, y’know, she is really affectionate and is there for
me.”
“You’re lucky. I’m sure a lot of people would like someone like your aunt as a
mom. She seems like she’d be easier to talk to.”
Sven chuckled. “I’m not one for confiding in her. She typically calls me a pussy
when I do. Is it just me, or when I’m happy, she’s not and vise versa?”
Rose gave him a look. “Why would you say that?”
“She’s been down lately.”
“Does she have an excuse?”
He rolled his eyes. “She’s been like this since breaking up with Corydon.”
Rose held in a chuckle. “Most girls are like that.” She gave him a concerned look.
“You didn’t like him much, did you?”
Sven looked away. “I don’t know…I don’t think he was such a bad guy but…I
just didn’t think he was right for my aunt. Nothing personal.”
“Sounds pretty personal.”
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“I don’t really wanna talk about him. C’mon, let’s go home and go run an office
chair down the hallways at the elementary school by my house.”
Rose smiled. “Fine.”
The walk back to Rose’s car was quiet, but the silence was almost peaceful. One
thing they both loved about their relationship was that there didn’t have to be useless
chatter every second in order to make the time count. Once the two were comfortable in
the car, Sven put his hand over Rose’s as she tried to put her key in the ignition.
“What?” she asked, smiling.
“Slow down a bit.” Sven took off his seatbelt and turned himself so he was facing
Rose directly. “We’re in no hurry.”
Rose followed suit and soon found herself getting out of the driver’s seat and into
Sven’s lap. A smile played on his lips as he wrapped his arms around her.
“We don’t really get much alone time, do we?” he said before he kissed her
collarbone.
She smiled. “Not enough of this time anyway.”
“Why not start stacking those numbers?”
She nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.”
They closed their eyes and their lips met, gentle and affectionate. Sven knitted his
hand into her hair as Rose rested her hand on the back of his neck. For about ten minutes,
they sat like that, pretending they were in a romance novel, every touch soft and
seemingly innocent.
“Is it just me, or do we act like a couple from the 1700s?” Sven joked.
Rose playfully pushed him. “What are you thinking, Mr. Purity Ring?”
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He smiled embarrassingly. “Um…I don’t know how to say this without it
sounding bad.”
Rose laughed. “Flash trivia. What’s the average amount of clients for a
prostitute?”
Sven jokingly panicked. “Aunt Ariadne wasn’t subbing during sex ed day in bio
last year! Um, five hundred?”
“Between two hundred and three hundred.”
“Aw shit. Talk about a sucky day job.”
Rose unbuttoned Sven’s flannel. “Then again, at higher wages, that’s between two
hundred thousand and three hundred thousand a year with no taxes.”
“Who pays a thousand bucks for a hooker?”
Rose shrugged as she pulled his undershirt off. “Government workers. People
who want quality.” Her hands started feeling his bare chest and back. “This more modern
day?”
He laughed. “Show me your tits and it will be.”
“Say tits again and you won’t be feeling anything good down there.”
He laughed again. “Don’t worry.”
Slowly, almost hesitantly—Rose couldn’t tell—his hands started migrating
toward her chest. She felt a sting of panic, so she tried to distract herself. She looked
down at his abs and laughed when she didn’t see what most teen movies liked showing.
She patted his stomach.
“Where’s your six pack?” she joked.
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“Padded steel. It’s like bears. Hibernates during the winter seasons.” She
chuckled. “I’m from Alabama, okay?”
She started full on laughing. “Gasp, you actually admitted to not being a native
Californian.”
“You’re lucky. You won’t ever see that again.” He winked and put his hands on
the curve of her waist and cupped them. “Damn, you’re so tiny. Feels like I can break
you.”
Rose smirked. “With those pythons. Definitely.”
Sven had yet to begin the weight training he promised Rose he’d start doing. He
ignored her comment and started moving his hands upward. Rose took a deep breath
when he reached her chest, tracing the bottom of her left breast with his thumb.
“They’re not that big,” she commented sheepishly.
Sven shook his head. “You act like I care. You’re beautiful.” She smiled and
relaxed. “Thanks is implied.”
Rose chuckled. “Not necessarily.”
“Well that depends on what we’re talking about. I’d hope you appreciate my
raining compliments.”
Rose mentally kicked herself. “Yeah…yeah that one is.”
Sven stifled a laugh. “What did you think I meant?”
She gave him a look, both of them fully aware that he was still touching her. After
another few minutes, Sven pulled away.
“I think the whole point of that is to get it on, so I’ll just stop now.”
Rose blushed. “I thought we were exploring each other, but that’s probably true.”
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For a few awkward seconds, they just looked at each other, in varying degrees of
how did we end up doing that? Sven broke it by pulling out his phone.
“Okay, so someone changed all my contacts to Star Wars characters and I’m not
sure who did it.”
Rose smirked. “Can’t you just assume it was your aunt?”
He shrugged. “She’s been busy lately. But how do you think I figure it out?”
Rose bit her lip in concentration. “Well who’s Yoda or Darth Vader?”
“I think Darth Maul is the worst. I’ll check.” He quickly found his Darth Maul.
“Hold on. I’ll just find out if it’s Aunt Ariadne.”
“But don’t you—?”
We 4got 2 use a condom & Rose is pregnant.
WHAT THE FUCK??? OH MY GOD, GET THE FUCK HOME. RIGHT NOW.
YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO, YOUNG MAN. GOD HELP YOU YOUR
PUNISHMENT IS GONNA BE SOUTHERN STYLE AND IF YOU SURVIVE THAT I’M
CHECKING YOU INTO THE NUTHOUSE FOR DUMBASS DISORDER.
Sven smirked as she added an extra thought.
Oh and Logan’s face looks like this: o___o
Rose looked over Sven’s shoulder and turned red. “Is that really necessary?”
Aww, so Darth Maul can’t solve my problems? ;)
DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE CHANGE THE SUBJECT.
Wait…didn’t you change all my contacts to Star Wars ppl?
… y?
Cuz ur Darth Maul…I needed to make sure it was u.
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…
Aunt A?
So that was all a fake out to fix ur contacts?
Yah…
YOU DUMBASS, YOU DON’T THROW THE P-WORD INTO CASUAL
CONVERSATION! I NEARLY CALLED YOUR DAD AND CROWE IS THIS CLOSE TO
HAVING A HEART ATTACK.
Sorry…? Heheh
I’m going to kill u wen we get home. Oh, and I did not change ur contacts but
whoever made me Darth Maul is a great person.
“Um, Sven, I was gonna say that can’t you just look at the number on the contact?
I kinda figured that you’d know your aunt’s phone number,” Rose said as Sven stared at
his phone.
He looked up at her. “You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s going to kill me when I
get home.”
Rose gave a weak smile and shrugged. “Gotta work on your listening.”
He gave her a kiss. “C’mon, let’s get home and prepare the forces before our
parents get back.”
*
*
*
4:21 pm and Ariadne had yet to leave her classroom, despite Winter Break having
begun almost an hour and a half before then. Even so, she couldn’t exactly complain;
Sven had left right away so she didn’t have to deal with his moaning about going home.
Plus, with all her coworkers out either around the school or home, she could finally blast
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the completely off kilter dance punk music Devon had gotten her addicted to on the Paris
trip. It almost made grading English 11’s short stories engaging.
By 4:21 pm, Ariadne had managed to save Kate’s story for the end, knowing she
had a knack for it. A smile spread across her face as she plunged into her student’s 2,000word story. Halfway through and she was too engrossed to notice her office door squeak
open. And, by the time she noticed a gag being wrapped around her mouth, she was
already on the floor with her hands tied behind her.
“What the hell, Jasper!” Ariadne said between swearing fits as she had her legs
bound together as well, her face down on the floor.
Her kidnapper flipped her over and picked her up by the bond between her legs
and hands, the other hand supporting her from underneath.
“Logan?!”
Crowe gave a weak smile as he grabbed her work bag, purse, and turned off her
computer. “Sure hope your coworkers can lock the place up.”
Ariadne could only feebly squirm to get out of Crowe’s arms, and it quickly
proved useless. To Crowe’s satisfaction, he managed to walk nearly through the entire
school without anyone getting in the way.
“Hey, what’re you doing with my Southern chick?” Crowe turned around only to
find the teacher that Ariadne had chaperoned the France trip with. He gave a weak smile
and the teacher studied him for a second. “You’re Rose’s dad, right?” Crowe nodded.
“Ariadne talks about you all the time!”
Crowe studied him. “What exactly does she say?”
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The teacher grinned. “Something about ‘her rich DILF’ is pretty common. Man,
you did not buy her a Jaguar, did you?”
Crowe quickly connected Ariadne’s fabrication together. “Yeah, uh, talk to me in
seventeen years. Truth is, she’s actually Rose’s godmother. Gets its perks.”
The teacher stifled a laugh. “You trust Ariadne Evans with your kid?”
Crowe bit his lip. “I question the decision every day.”
Crowe began slowly walking out and, once it was obvious that Ariadne’s
coworker didn’t care, disappeared out the door and into Ariadne’s car. He strapped
Ariadne into the front seat, pulled off her gag, and climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Damn, you’re short,” Crowe joked as he adjusted the seat.
“What the hell are you doing?” Ariadne immediately demanded as Crowe backed
up the car.
“Well you certainly haven’t been making this easy. I’m desperate.” He winked.
“So you hog tie me in my own car?”
He nodded. “Well technically you’re not in a hogtie because your legs aren’t
attached to your hands, but who’s keeping details straight?”
Her position was only slightly above hogtie: she was sitting on her knees, hands
still behind her back, and her back barely able to stay straight since the bond between
them was kind of short. She looked away from him, pretty much the only thing she could
do. “What do you even want?”
His expression softened. “We need to talk, Ariadne. I’m sorry, okay? My actions
toward you were completely manipulative and I should’ve never treated my friend like
that.”
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“If you honestly think I’ll take you back—”
“I don’t want you to take me back. Look Ari—I miss you. I miss my best friend
who can make me laugh by simply opening her mouth and saying whatever shit is on her
mind. That person whose rants were the best free entertainment available. That beautiful
girl who has yet to stop calling me ‘the brother of the guy whose cherry I popped.’”
She still refused to look at him. “If you don’t mind, when there’s a red light, I
need you to reach into my back pocket…”
An awkward silence engulfed them. “You…want me to touch your ass?”
She waited a few seconds before answering, both exasperation and anger in her
voice as she kept the tone completely even. “My heels are digging into my jean pockets.
My jean pockets contain my cell phone, a cell phone which is currently jabbing itself into
my ass, and it is very uncomfortable.”
Another few awkward seconds passed. Crowe cleared his throat. “Why is your
phone in your back pocket?”
“I lived with six guys for my first sixteen years of life. Then for two years it was
two guys. After that, I had a guy in bed twice a week for fifty weeks a year for five years
straight then up again for a year. During the gap years I spent half of it in a relationship
with a FTM and my current best friends are guys. I currently live with a teenage boy.
You gotta pick up something from all those guys, now doncha?” She grimaced. “You
know, it’s really awkward when you can’t feel your ass and your phone’s on vibrate.”
Crowe tried to divert. “Your colorful collection of ringtones not in right now?”
She shook her head. “Nope, but if Mattie had a ringtone, he would’ve gotten ‘The
Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything’ by Relient K. Please, let me unbend my knees.”
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At a red light, Crowe pulled out a knife and cut Ariadne’s bond connecting “her
heels to her ass.”
“Ohh myy Goddd, the relief. You asshole! Do you have any idea how much pain I
was in? Where are we even driving to?”
“What song did you just say?”
She gave him a disbelieving look. “You don’t watch Veggie Tales?”
“Um…no? Do you?”
She took a long sigh. “Alright, look—Sven got the stomach flu back in September
2003 like the pussy he is and he got me sick. So I’m stuck at home watching TV with my
seven-year-old nephew and I couldn’t—Okay look man, when you gotta baby-sit your
sick seven year old, you can’t watch Gray’s Anatomy! So I wanted to watch Rocko’s
Modern Life. Like, really universe, I just spent the night throwing up and you can’t give
me quality entertainment? So anyway, we had to watch all those lame toddler shows and
Veggie Tales came on so I discovered this song where I discovered this band where I
discovered the meaning of life…through rock gospel music. And yeah, Mattie never
really did anything so he gets that song.”
“What?”
“Can you seriously get my phone out of my pocket?”
At the next red light, Crowe awkwardly reached his hand down Ariadne’s nearly
skintight jeans and pulled her iPhone out. For a moment, Ariadne’s phone lingered in
Crowe’ hand.
“And why are your pants so goddamn tight?”
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“It’s a status symbol for women over age thirty. If you can still fit into these
babies, you’ve succeeded at life.”
He snorted. “That or you’re anorexic.”
“I’m a size four, now shut up.”
“Four? Jeez, don’t tease me.”
“Aww, don’t worry. If I could move my hands, you know I’d strip down just for
you. Do you still have a six pack?”
“When did I have a six pack?”
She rolled her eyes. “It was probably Mattie.”
Another ten minutes and a close heart attack because of a fake pregnancy text
message fiasco, Crowe parked at a scenic drop-off on the Palos Verdes cliff side.
“Why are we here?” Ariadne asked as she got out of the car.
“I wanted a peaceful place for us to talk.”
She glanced over the cliff. “And I suppose your house doesn’t count?”
He shook his head. “You were right. You know I hate admitting it, but you were
right. It was partially my fault that we got so inappropriate with each other and…” He
grimaced. “I never meant to call you a whore.”
“You never did.”
“But I might as well have if I’m calling you a seductress. It was uncalled for and
immature. I’m sorry. You deserve better than me.”
She gave him a confused look. “As what? Your friend or your girlfriend?”
“You deserve a better friend.” He shook his head. “That was such a douche move,
especially after the lack of support I gave you when Mattie died…”
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“Not douche.”
“Huh?”
“Douches are people with way too nice cars for their own good and/or people who
are just idiots and say stupid things. I’d call it more a jackass or bastard move.”
Crowe paused. “Sorry. I—okay, you threw me off.”
She nodded. “I throw off people’s grooves. What can I say? So you were
apologizing…”
“Right. Well, Ariadne, please, just—I really need you to forgive me. I have no
friends and feel really bad about this. C’mon, who’s going to buy you more stupid
expensive stuff?”
She pointed at him. “I bought my own Jaguar.”
He smirked. “With money that if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
“So…?”
“So what?”
“Are we buds again?”
Ariadne thought for a moment. “Yes, but only because we’re destined to be inlaws.”
“You…I’m just curious here, you are Sven’s legal guardian, right? Like, his
parents can’t just take him?”
Ariadne shook her head. “Dennis transferred legal rights to me as soon as we got
on the second phone call. I know Denny will never take him back. As for his crackhead
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voodoo priestess mother, I think I could win a custody battle just by doing a side-by-side
comparison.”
Crowe raised an eyebrow. “She’s a voodoo priestess?”
Ariadne stifled a laugh. “Okay, look, Patricia Uritski-Evans wigged out when
Sven was born and went to go live in Haiti and learn tribal medicine or something. Since
she’s in Haiti though, I still say she’s a voodoo priestess.”
“Don’t kill me, but who do you prefer? Her or Rebecca?”
“Me likin’ voodoo lady over Rebecca Black any day.”
Crowe blinked a few times. “Wow, you must really hate Rebecca.” She nodded,
slow and obvious.
“That skank turned my little nephew into a skittish pussy. Do you realize that
Sven had it in his genes to have one of those miracle survival stories where he survives
two weeks on a mountain or something? She ruined that! Now the only manly thing he
has going for him is political conspiracy and flying planes.”
“That’s…not really why, is it?”
She gave a dismissive wave. “She fucked him up. Let’s just say that. At least his
mom would’ve just made him into a hippy. You can break hippies into mechanics.”
Crowe smiled, the realization hitting him softly: if Ariadne was talking about
turning hippies into mechanics, they were friends again.
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Chapter 22
Calm Before the Storm
“So we’re really going to do it tomorrow?”
“Yup.”
“We just gonna have Rose go through the tunnel and pick it out?”
“No.”
“Then what—?”
“I’ll tell you tonight. Eight sharp at my house.”
Crowe hung up on Ariadne and began an hours long sift through his garage for
something that could easily break through metal.
Meanwhile, Ariadne sat in her living room, the TV on with no one watching,
attempting to fully digest what the last part of her call with Logan had meant. So they
were really going to do it. Hours of reconnaissance, data crunching, and security hacking
had all seemed an abstract concept. Now this, this actual concrete planning, this was it:
the Murder was coming back. Just as every job, her stomach was full of tight knots
despite her mind rationalizing it.
I have to keep Sven safe.
She thought back to what had happened after the last Lousteau job and
how…calm things had been despite Bianca’s death. What had caused that calm? She
shook her head as the main focus finally hit her.
Corydon.
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He had ultimately been the one who lifted her mood enough for her to be able to
keep moving forward. If it had just been Sven, yes, life would’ve returned to normal, but
that was all. Normal. Normal being stuck in a rut of never dating again. She hated
admitting it with Sven in her mind, but he really had been holding her back. Of course,
not intentionally, but with Corydon sneaking in, it wasn’t like it had really changed
anything between her and Sven, right?
She sighed. It didn’t matter. Corydon was gone, yet she always would have Sven.
Yet, in those moments, she couldn’t get her ex out of her mind. Should she try to
reconcile with him once the job was done? Promise him that she’d never, ever go back to
stealing? Didn’t what they shared mean anything to him? Was it possible that he could
just drop her because of an…addiction, as he put it? No, she thought, he loved me even
when I was addicted to alcohol and sex. Crime isn’t any worse, is it?
She picked up her cell phone and put on his contact information. A few weeks
back, she’d changed his name from κόρυδος to CORYDON ELIOPOULOS. As far as she
knew, she hadn’t changed his original ringtone from Green Day’s ‘Last Night on Earth,’
their song. She squeezed her eyes shut, remembering that she wanted that to be their first
song as bride and groom at their wedding. She opened up a text message and attempted to
write a message for him, only to trash it and go back to his contact information.
The call button was starting to look very tempting.
She sighed again and tossed her phone from hand to hand.
Just as she was about to press CALL, Sven walked into the room. He plopped
down next to her and smiled.
“You ready, Aunt A?”
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She faked a smile. “Yup. You?”
He nodded. “Yup.” He stared at the TV, unable to figure out what she was
watching with a commercial break in the way. “So what’s up?”
Ariadne shrugged. “Some kids’ Christmas movie.”
Just as she said that, the movie came back on: Olive the Other Reindeer. Sven
smiled. “I remember this. We’d watch all these movies when I was a little kid.”
“You still remember all the movies we used to watch?”
He nodded. “Shh, I want nostalgia.”
Ariadne snickered and shook her head. “You’re not old enough for nostalgia.”
Sven let himself get comfortable as he half watched the movie. He was too fixated
on his aunt, who looked scarily older somehow. Was it his fault that she was so unhappy?
It had sort of been him who had driven out Corydon. He was happy that he had his aunt
to himself, but he hated seeing her like that. Why had he hated seeing her happy before?
The more he thought about it, the more of an okay guy Corydon had been.
So…why did he hate him so much?
He sunk deeper into the couch and bit his fist. It wasn’t like Corydon had been
mean to him or ignored him. The only thing that had really changed was that his aunt
spent more time with her boyfriend than him.
Like a wave brushing up seaweed on the shore, the answer occurred to Sven.
He was associating Corydon with Rebecca. When Rebecca came into his and his
father’s lives, she had begun by simply spending a lot of time with his dad. And…and it
ended up with him being abandoned and her taking him like a siren and forming a wall of
a new family between Sven and his father. It suddenly all made sense. Somewhere, the
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traumatized little boy who was first abandoned by his daddy was still in there
somewhere, warning him.
As the reality of this hit him, a smashing wave of guilt washed over him. He’d
been completely selfish. He’d ruined the one person who loved him’s only chance at
happiness. He couldn’t even look her in the eyes.
“Sven?”
He finally looked at her, her expression as concerned as ever. “What?”
“You okay? You look…negative emotionally affected.”
“Do you hate me because I scared off Corydon?”
Ariadne put an arm around Sven. “Baby, please, don’t say that. I’d never choose a
man over my nephew. What you’ve done for me simply by existing is worth my life. I
could never be mad at you.”
“But I ruined it with you and Corydon. You two were in love.”
“You didn’t ruin it. He and I couldn’t be together…”
“Because I messed that job up. Please Aunt Ariadne, just say it. Say that I ruined
your life.”
She put her other hand on his shoulder. “You. Did. Not. Ruin. My. Life. Like I
told you in Paris, you saved my life. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve been a bled out
corpse eight and half years ago. Never doubt my love for you, Sven.”
“Do you think of me as a nephew?”
“Um…yes?”
“But like Cody and Beau or like something else?”
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“You mean…like a son?” He nodded and she took a drawn out breath. “Sven, did
I ever give you the specifics behind what happened during that first family reunion when
I chewed out Rebecca?” He shook his head. “Yes Sven, you’re like the son I wish I
could’ve had.”
Ariadne had forgotten to count the number of drinks she’d had. Sven had been so
smiley when they first came in, and judging by his frown, she guessed that nothing had
gone his way, which had only built a flame of anger deep in her gut. She looked down at
her empty glass and put it at the steepest incline it could go, hoping to get a few more
licks of vodka. The room had begun to sway ever so slightly, but the building anger made
it difficult to focus on how she felt.
“Hec, how bout ‘nother?” she said to her brother, referring to the vodka bottle
near him.
He raised an eyebrow and smiled slyly. “I’ll get you a beer.”
Ariadne shrugged and soon found an opened Bud Light in front of her. Although
she normally didn’t like beer, it was good enough and she needed something to get her
mind off of Sven and Dennis.
By the time the beer was halfway done, Rebecca finally showed herself, her arms
around Dennis like a snake. As she tried to calm herself, it was as if Rebecca wanted the
opposite, constantly kissing him, touching him, and getting so damn close to his ear that
Ariadne swore that she watched her bite it.
Keep calm, Ariadne. Think about Sven. It truly took every ounce of her being to
keep planted on a seat by the counter. Little Sven came running up to them and asked his
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father something, but Dennis shook his head and gave Sven the slightest touch of a hair
ruffle. From there, Ariadne watched as her nephew walked off, wiping his eyes.
That was it.
She stood abruptly from her seat, causing everyone to look over for a second or
two. Once they stopped looking, she moved to Dennis and Rebecca, grabbed Rebecca by
the arm, digging her nails into the skin, and pulled her into Ariadne’s bedroom. Rebecca
smirked.
“Something you want, dear?”
The anger had been released, and there was no stopping it now. She pinned
Rebecca against a wall.
“Listen hard, you little bitch. My family may not be able to see through your act,
but I sure as hell can. Don’t you think you can dare waltz into my family and fuck up my
nephew’s life. Because, you know what, when it comes down to it, they’ll take his side in
everything if they ever found out what you got Dennis to do.”
“You’re drunk, Ariadne. No need to be saying such awful things.”
“This isn’t about me! This is about that boy and how you’ve stolen his father. He
was here before you honey, and he deserves him a million times more than you. How can
you sleep at night knowing that Dennis abandoned his son because of you?”
“I didn’t tell him to leave Sven with you. Hell, you were the last person on my
list.”
Ariadne dug her nails back into Rebecca’s arm, making her cringe in pain. “If it
was such a bad situation, why the fuck did you leave him with me? What, he’s not part of
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your plan? You’re so pathetic that you can’t have anything that isn’t made by you and
Dennis around the house? Who would’ve thought you can get lower than a skank?”
She smiled. “What exactly do you plan to do about this, honey? You want Denny
to take Sven back? Cause I’ll tell you right now that I wont be kissing him goodnight. He
had his chance and I’m the one making Denny happy.”
“Sven is Dennis’s son! What makes you think that he doesn’t own your fucking
husband? Sven is blood related to Dennis. There is nothing you can ever do about that.
Face it, you’re just a homewrecking slut.”
“And what does that make you? At least I’m not the family shame who hasn’t
been to a single family event sober in seven years. At least I act like I care. Hell, I bet I
care more than you.”
“How dare you! How dare you tell me how much I love my family.
You’re…You’re…”
“You’re what, Ariadne?”
Ariadne lost it, pushing Rebecca against the wall and held her up by her throat.
“Just listen good, you cunt, and know that if you do one more thing to hurt my nephew,
I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you.” Ariadne swallowed the lump in her throat.
She released Rebecca, stormed back outside, and took the liberty to pour herself
another glass of vodka, swallowing it in a few gulps. Rebecca waited a few minutes
before returning outside, seemingly composed.
“Everyone, Denny and I have an announcement,” she said, pulling Dennis up
from his seat and wrapping her arm around him again. Every member of the family
looked over toward the couple, especially Sven. “I’m finally pregnant.”
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Most of the family gave congratulations and some clapped. Sven, on the other
hand, didn’t take it so easily. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. What did Rebecca
mean that she was pregnant? If she was having a baby, did that mean that the baby was
his father’s? Could his dad really have babies with another woman? How could he do
that to him? He always promised him that he would be the first person in his life.
Yet…look at what had happened. He hadn’t come to his first show as Gavroche, despite
the fact that everyone clapped and cried when he died. He hadn’t brought his teddy bear.
He had done nothing that he had promised he’d do. Rebecca had been mean to him and
now…now she was going to stay in the family since she was going to have a baby.
So where did that leave him? If he was having a new baby, he surely didn’t have
time for him. So he…he really wasn’t going to ever go back home. Tears filled Sven’s
eyes and he felt too ashamed to cry in front of everyone, causing him to run out. To
everyone’s amazement, no one went after Sven. Ariadne saw the opportunity and grabbed
it.
“Aren’t ya gonna go get your son, Dennis?” she said curtly. She stood up,
surprised that it wasn’t so easy. “Huh Dennis? Your son just ran out crying. You gonna
go do something about it?” She looked to Rebecca. “What? You too busy with your little
cunt to help out your son?” A few people gasped, but no one tried to stop Ariadne.
Ariadne took a few more steps forward, now seeing eye-to-eye with both of them.
“What’s that, Dennis? Oh, I see, of course your other family matters a million times
more than your firstborn son. How could I be so naïve?”
“Ariadne—” Jacob attempted.
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“And shut it, Jacob. I don’t need everyone else telling me that I’m being
inappropriate.” She turned back to the couple. “Go and say it, Dennis. Tell everyone
about how you became so immersed in fucking this bitch that you abandoned your sevenyear-old son with me without a single warning. Tell them how I’ve had to support your
son with a new teacher’s salary. Tell them how you threatened to send him to foster care
if I didn’t adopt him. Tell them about all the empty promises you made to Sven. Tell them
about how he ran out of the theatre crying after his first show because you weren’t there.
I wonder why you weren’t there, Dennis? Ah, I suppose with this great news that you
were fucking her. Eh? That true, Denny? What, why? You feel like you’re young again
because you’re fucking a college student? Is that it? So who’s on top, Denny? Who wants
the fuck-child, Denny? Did you? So you could forget about your son? Or was it the
Skank? She seduce you, tell you that you two need a family too? Give yourself an excuse
to leave him?” She got in close enough to whisper in her brother’s ear. “They’re
watching, Dennis. Go get the boy quick before they notice that everything I’m saying isn’t
drunk bullshit.”
Dennis took Ariadne’s advice, stood, and briskly walked out. Ariadne waved with
her fingers. “They’ll be seeing ya in hell!”
Once Dennis was out, Ariadne took one last turn to Rebecca and smiled. “You
know what they say about teen moms: they’re always the killers!”
With the symphony of gasps, Ariadne finally fell unconscious.
Sven gave her a look of awe once she finished giving the details. “Jesus, don’t get
you pissed off while drunk.”
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Ariadne rubbed the back of her neck. “It’s not my proudest moment. I mean, I
don’t know if she necessarily needed to be called the c-word, but…”
“I can’t believe you risked getting kicked out of the family to defend me.”
“Like I said, I was drunk.”
“But still.”
“Sven—”
She was cut off by Sven putting her into a hug. “You’re the best mom ever.”
“Just please don’t follow in my shadow. They only forgave me because Daddy is
convinced I’m an angel.”
After the movie ended, Ariadne left, leaving Sven with her iPhone. He picked it
up and stared soberly down at the contact she’d left it on.
*
*
*
Rose wasn’t exactly sure why, but she felt an odd need to go spend time with
Dorian that day before the heist. So, around nine that morning, Rose crept into Dorian’s
room.
“Dorian? You awake?”
The room was dark aside from light spilling in from the shades. Embarrassment
grew as she realized that he was still fast asleep, unable to hear her feeble calls. For a few
seconds she stood at the foot of his bed and mulled over her options. Feeling a bit bored,
she decided to back up a bit, take a running start, and jump onto Dorian’s bed.
Unfortunately, she didn’t do much in terms of flying Dorian off the bed, but she
did wake him up.
“Ugh, dammit Rose…I know there’s no school today…”
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“C’mon, loser! Let’s go actually do something!”
“Go think about screwing your prude boyfriend. I want to sleep!”
Rose picked up a pillow and hit him with it. “Come on! You didn’t come to
America to sleep.”
He tried to block Rose’s blows. “Yeah, but sleep was part of the equation. In fact,
it should take up one third of my trip.”
Rose threw the pillow and pulled his covers off. “Come on, lazy ass. Just come on
a walk with me.”
“If I walk with you, will you stop having my bed attack me?” Rose nodded.
“Should I take a shower first?” Another nod.
Ten minutes later, Dorian and Rose gave Crowe a quick heads up and went out
walking.
“So, uh…how’s your face feeling?” Rose asked.
Dorian shrugged. “It’s okay.” His bruises had begun to yellow, but he certainly
didn’t look healed yet. “So, um, I don’t really get this whole heist thing. What exactly am
I doing?”
Rose bit her lip. “I actually don’t know. The adults have been very vague about
this.” She paused. “Dorian, how exactly do you feel about this?”
“It’s…weird.”
“But aside from that. Like, Jesus, why aren’t you freaking out? Aren’t you scared
that we’re going to get arrested or something?”
Dorian rubbed his face. “We’re basic kin, right?”
“In a host sense?”
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He sighed. “My family life back home isn’t great. My mum died from cancer
when I was a little kid and my dad’s a manic-depressive and works a loser job. When I
was thirteen, I got together with one of my older friends who worked at this convenience
store and stole from the store. Never caught. I pulled runs like that a year. I mean…what I
mean is I guess I’m kind of desensitized to it. Besides, you guys aren’t really stealing, it’s
more like product trading. Look Rose—if it was my choice, I wouldn’t be helping you
guys, but…”
“But what?”
He sighed. “Over the past month or so, you and your dad have treated me better
than my dad ever did and I can only imagine that you’ll continue to until I have to go
back home. I’m eternally grateful and if driving the getaway car or whatever is what I
have to do, then that’s what I’ll do.”
Rose almost felt emotional. “I never knew you felt that way…”
He nodded. “You guys are good people. The Blue Heelers just doesn’t get that
sometimes.”
She stared blankly at him for a moment. “The who?”
“Police.” He rubbed his eyes. “So how do you feel about all this? Sounds like it’s
only your second time.”
Rose shrugged. “I’m…I’m actually kind of comfortable with it. I don’t really
understand why though. I mean, I guess we’re not really getting any profit over it, so
whatever.”
Dorian smiled. “You’re so freaked out about it, I can tell.”
“I’m not freaked out. Just…guilty about not feeling guilty.”
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“Same thing. So…how’s life? You and Sven?”
Rose shrugged. “Good, good. Sven and I are…good.”
Dorian smirked. “How good?”
She blushed. “I don’t kiss and tell.”
Dorian rolled his eyes. “I see how it is. If I were gay, I bet you’d tell me.”
“Dorian! That’s so—”
He kept smiling. “You Americans are such tightasses when it comes to political
correctness. Honestly, live a little and call My Little Pony feminine and if the feminists
come out, give them the finger and call them beavers.”
Rose gave him a shocked look for a few seconds, but it faded. “You may have a
point.”
He smiled. “Come on, let’s go find some feminists and call them beavers, shall
we?”
“Um…I don’t think we have to go looking for them.”
“Whatever, Americana. Hey, what do you guys do during Christmas? Is it like in
all the movies?” He looked up at the grey sky. “Guessing it doesn’t snow here.”
Rose shrugged. “Once this heist is over, we’ll probably go buy a Christmas tree,
decorate it, wrap presents, bake cookies, and have two party-like things. Night party on
Christmas Eve, open presents Christmas morning, and then do a little something on
Christmas Day. But…well, with my mom gone and all, I’m not exactly sure. Oh, and
remind me to show you the Torrance houses with the insane lights.”
“Awesome, Midgeta.”
“Um, what?”
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“You’re my little midget.”
She stuck her tongue out at him. “Short girls can get all the guys.”
Later that night, Sven and Ariadne joined the Crowes for their last briefing.
“Alright ladies, we’re going to get down and dirty tonight,” Ariadne began. “I’m
going over missions and our game plan, so keep your ears peeled. Now, should we use
code words or not?”
“Sure,” Rose answered without realizing that no one else had answered.
Dorian gave her a come on look. “Rooose, no one else can memorize code
names!” She glared at him.
“Aww, sibling rivalry!” Ariadne commented. “Whatever boys, I’ll just give Rose
the code names. Alright, Rocko, you’re up first.”
Dorian straightened up. “Who?”
Ariadne gave him a look. “You, Mr. Draper. Now, since you’re new, we’ll give
you an easy yet absolutely necessary job. You’ll be working up top with Logan. Y’see,
Logie here is what we call old as hell and can’t properly deal his own cards, if you know
what I mean.”
Crowe gave Ariadne the death glare. “I cannot say that I do.”
“Basically, you’ll be carrying around ink packs and placing them wherever Logan
touches so when the inevitable happens and Logan has to confront our main lady, we
have a getaway distraction. Logan can’t carry the packs because we can’t have his DNA
on anything because…well, y’know, he kind of is known for being a criminal. Yes
Dorian, this is completely necessary. If we don’t put these packs down, it’ll take that
bitch two seconds to call 911.”
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Dorian stared blankly at her. “So we’re putting ink packs on her phones so she
can’t call the police?”
She pointed a finger at Dorian. “No, it’s an anticatalyst.”
He blinked. “Oh, whatever! You haven’t made sense since I met you.”
“Shut up, Aussie! I’m the most amusing American you’ve ever met.”
He looked around the room. “Touché.”
Ariadne had a pissed off face, but quickly spun back to the plan. “Metro! You’re
next.”
Crowe and Sven exchanged a look. “Who’s metro?” Crowe asked.
Ariadne gave a God help me look. “Which one of you dresses like a hipster and
sings French musical theatre for fun?” Sven blushed and Crowe took a step back. “Jesus
Logan, you’re the straightest guy I know. Don’t question it.”
“I’m not that metro,” Sven said in a quiet voice.
“Sven, don’t doubt that! You are every girl’s dream guy! You are the guy that
chicks squeal at with their friends when they find out that you’re not gay. It’s a
compliment. I bet you’ll have at least one gay guy hit on you in your lifetime.”
Sven gave her a blank stare. “Could you just tell me your assignment, please?”
Ariadne nodded. “Alright, so you and Rose are going to be working in the small
places. Yes, guess what little bitch, you get to be the thief! That’s like, an über
compliment in the thieving world. So you’re going to work through the metal and help
Rose carry the statue. Rose, you know your job now. Yes, this is a two-man job. No
doubts. Logan, you’re going to be setting booby traps and distracting Hayden.”
“What are you doing?” Crowe asked.
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“Running the show from the car.”
“Can I ask you one thing?”
“What?”
“Don’t ghostride the whip in my car.”
She rolled her eyes. “And I thought you were going to quote ‘All I Ask of You.’
Screw that fantasy.”
Crowe winked. “Let Sven do that for ya.”
She stared at him. “Sven’s my nephew whom I have eighteen years on.”
Crowe gave her a look. “Someone forgot how to laugh.”
“Can we drop this conversation before it gets awkward?”
“It already got awkward,” Sven butted in.
Ariadne snapped her fingers. “Wait Logan! You are metro!”
Everyone stopped whatever he or she was doing just so they could stare at
Ariadne. “What?” Crowe demanded, dumbstruck even though it was something that
she’d say.
“Have you seen your nails, broski?” Ariadne grabbed Crowe’s hand to show off
his clean-cut and slightly shiny nails. “Dude, you get manicures!”
Dorian looked unconcerned after hearing the punch line. “Don’t all rich fops do
that?”
Ariadne thought about that. “Well he does own a Maybach…and rich people
clothes.”
Dorian nodded. “Just a rich person thing.” He glanced at Crowe. “You’re lucky
you own a Maybach, mate.”
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Ariadne accepted the fact for a few seconds before turning back to Crowe. “Don’t
you have Corvette shoes?” He nodded. “Why are you such a car nerd?”
“Did you look in your purse lately and notice how you keep Star Wars coins in
your wallet?”
“Okay look—the island of Niue uses those as currency. It’s legit!”
“Where is Niue?”
“How should I know? I’m not a geography teacher!” Crowe smirked at her.
“Okay, whatever, screw you guys! C’mon Rose, let’s go talk shit that these losers can’t
understand.”
Rose and Ariadne ended up in Rose’s room, Ariadne convinced that no one else
was allowed to hear them.
“Um, are you really going to give me code words?” Rose asked.
Ariadne smiled slyly. “Of course not, but there is one thing you need to know.”
Rose studied her. “What?”
“Tuck your hair behind your left ear and it means that shit’s going down and I
should just roll with it. If I lick my bottom lip from right to left it means same thing to
you. Don’t tell the guys. They’re gonna screw it up. You got me?”
“Bottom lip right to left?” Rose just stared at Ariadne’s maniacal smirk for a few
seconds. “Have you ever taken drugs?”
She stopped to think about that. “Not unless taking an Americano combined with
Red Bull and Reese’s where I ended up passed out on the hood of my car counts.” She
shook her head. “Damn school volleyball team spirit. It took hours to wash the war paint
off my…”
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Rose turned slightly concerned. “Off your…?”
Ariadne looked off. “I really hope that that was Jasper…cause if it wasn’t…” She
made a face.
Rose shook her head. “Anything else you need to get off your chest?”
“I don’t think you need to know about my involvement in the transgender
community. Or my theories as to why Alabama is one of the top three STD-ridden states.
Or…not unless you want to talk about land-whales. Your uncle loved land-whales.”
“And you’re not on any coffee induced high right now?”
She shook her head. “Nope. But y’know, he told me that land-whales looked like
saber toothed tigers.” She shrugged. “So anyway, how’s school?”
Rose shrugged. “Decent.”
“Cool.”
“Did you really sub a bio class on sex ed Q and A day?”
Ariadne smiled. “Yes I did.”
“…Why?”
Ariadne sucked air in through her teeth. “Dr. H said that I had the most
knowledge of everyone outside of the actual biology department.”
Rose nodded slowly. “Well that’s, erm…awkward.”
Ariadne nodded. “I have a bad reputation at school. I’m either the best sex ed sub
or the secret porn writer.” Rose’s eyes widened. “I’ll explain it to you junior year.”
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Chapter 23
Magic Act
“I can’t do this.”
Crowe’s shoulders tensed as a hand tapped his back. As he turned around to face
his speaker, dread seemed to catalyze the acid already sloshing against the thinning walls
of his stomach. He met Dorian’s suddenly vulnerable green eyes.
“What do you mean?” Crowe asked in a deliberately façade-calm voice.
“Mr. Crowe, I’m gonna be honest with you. I—I just can’t do this. I can’t deal
with all the thoughts of what we’re doing and all the stuff that can go wrong. It’s just—
Mr. Crowe, you have to understand. I really wish that I could help you and I know that
you’re going to hate me because of this but—”
“Dorian, stop.” He shut his mouth obediently. “I’m not angry with you. I
understand your angle and that’s fine. Just—we’re going to drive with you there and I’ll
have you stay with Ariadne. If anything goes wrong, kick her out of the car and drive
home. You won’t be responsible for what we’re going to do.”
Dorian nodded. “I—I really appreciate this, Mr. Crowe.”
Crowe forced a smile. “It’s all good, Dory. And honestly, this is just karma. I
should’ve never told you about this part of our lives. I’m also proud that you had the balls
to tell me.”
Dorian smiled. “Thanks, sir.”
Crowe nodded. “You just might wanna get a helmet ready because I’m not sure
how the others are going to react.”
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For the entire drive up to Hayden Barrow’s house, Crowe kept Dorian’s bow out a
secret. The way he saw it, he had no idea how the kids and Ariadne would react. For all
he knew, they would be really pissed. So, logically, it would be best for them to stay
away from him for a little bit and just deal with it on their own.
“Ariadne,” Crowe said right as he put the car in park. “We have a change of
plans.”
“What kind of plans?” she asked trying to hide her apprehension.
Crowe opened his mouth to answer, but his voice didn’t come through.
“I can’t go through with the robbery.”
Ariadne, Sven, and Rose all turned shocked faces toward Dorian.
“What do you mean you can’t go through with it?” Sven demanded.
Dorian shrugged. “I just—”
“Guys, drop it. Dorian was thrown unjustly into this situation and there’s no
reason that we should force him to help us. We’ll just rearrange. Rose, you’re coming
with me and Ariadne’s going into the tunnels with Sven. Problem solved.”
Ariadne studied Crowe. “Why wouldn’t I just follow you?”
Crowe raised an eyebrow. “Would you like to risk getting your DNA on
anything?”
Ariadne backed down. “I like the new plan.”
The remaining four pulled on their gloves and hats and took a seat on the curb
facing opposite to Hayden Barrow’s house.
“Do you guys see a problem?” Ariadne asked as she adjusted the sunglasses she’d
have to take off in a few minutes.
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Crowe surveyed the area. “No, why?”
Ariadne took off her glasses, bit at the temple tip while pointing with them.
“There’s some burly fucker up there.”
Crowe, Rose, and Sven all looked up to where Ariadne was pointing.
“Is that a…guard?” Sven asked.
Ariadne nodded her head. “Bitch must’ve gotten paranoid on us. Did anyone
leave any obvious evidence?”
Crowe blanched. “Ariadne, did we ever finish that computer job?”
“You mean before you finger fucked me or after?” she replied, sarcasm dripping
off her words thick as tar.
Sven and Rose stared blankly at their parents, horror written into their features
effortlessly. Crowe faked a cough.
“She’s kidding, you guys. Come on, if it was Ariadne’s choice, she’d use every
one of the seven dirty words three times a day…” Crowe hintingly punched Ariadne in
the side.
“Um, ow, lady abuse?” Crowe was giving her the evil eye, so she decided to give
up. “Yeah, come on you guys! I mean, look, I’ll go now.” She paused. “Our target has the
fakest tits on earth. I’m just sayin’.” Crowe motioned toward his partner, who casually
put her sunglasses back on. “Let’s role, bitches.”
Ariadne grabbed Sven, giving the final signal for the Crowes to go their separate
way.
Crowe led his daughter through the side door, proceeding with much more
caution than before. Suddenly, every little sound made him jump.
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“Dad, how do I place these things without it being noticeable?” Rose whispered,
fumbling with her handful of ink packets.
“Place at least one in each room. If you have extras, just get creative. Basically, it
releases an aerosol red dye and the pack becomes extremely hot when detonated. You can
pretty much hide them anywhere.”
Rose bit her lip. “What do you mean by ‘extremely hot’?”
Crowe sucked air in through clenched teeth. “They’ll get to about 400 degrees.
Do not, and I repeat, do not leave a pack on you. I really don’t need to deal with third
degree burns.”
From there, Rose started placing dye packs in random places of her choice:
landlines, a vase, underneath a table.
“Hey Dad—?” Rose began to say as she turned around right before the staircase.
However, when she turned around, she was alone. All at once, nerves and reality
hit near simultaneously. She was inside a house with a possibly deadly bodyguard, she
was dressed like a cat burglar, and her dad was nowhere to be seen.
She turned around a full 360 degrees, irrational hysterics creeping up. What the
hell was she supposed to do without her dad? Going looking for him didn’t really seem
like the best idea. How was it that everything she learned in Paris was suddenly gone?
Did being in America in someone’s house really make all the difference? She crouched
under a decorative table and made herself as quiet as she could. As far as footsteps went,
she could hear two sets of them, one an assumption being her father.
She focused harder on the sound of the steps, trying to listen for a clink of high
heels. After a few seconds, she decided that it was the guard who owned the second set. If
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she were honest, perhaps that didn’t make stepping out from her hiding place a good
thing, but guards scared her less than this Hayden Barrow. For her guards were a given:
they’d give her a look and shoot. Barrow….well Barrow was about as transparent as the
wooden table she had been hiding under. As far as Rose knew, she was a sadistic
pyromaniac who enjoyed making people beg for their lives through sticking burning hot
slabs of metal into their cuticles.
Rose managed five steps toward the staircase before she was violently thrown
backward.
*
*
*
“And how exactly are we going to be able to stand each other in a confined space
for so long?” Sven joked as Ariadne went hunting for the tunnel that she didn’t have the
location of thanks to Crowe never telling her anything past “Rose found the statue.”
“Shut up, Sven. I’m still in ‘find this goddamn hole’ mode.”
Sven rolled his eyes. “Take a Midol, Aunt A.”
She physically turned around to address him. “Oh. My. God. That isn’t funny
anymore!”
Sven gave an innocent smile. “You speak for the line itself.”
She focused back on searching. “I swear to the Lord above, you’re going to say
that when I’m actually on my period and I will literally shove a spoon up your ass.”
“Do white pants on guys really mean they like it in the ass?”
“You know, in this society, I’m not even sure if liking it in the ass necessarily
means that someone is gay—Oh my God Sven, we’re on a serious life-or-death mission
right now!”
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“Details, details.” He paused. “How do you know how fake Hayden Barrow’s tits
are?”
Ariadne gave him a chastising look. “Only other girls can call girls’ breast tits.”
Sven gave her a shocked look. “What’s up with that double standard?”
“Why can’t I have slept with a lot of guys and be considered a boss? Blame
society.”
A thought occurred to Sven. “God Aunt Ariadne, would it really kill you to just
answer a straightforward question? You seem to be so good at doing it for your students.”
All he got in response was a wink. Out of nowhere, he felt a tugging itch to get
away from his aunt, even if it was only for a second.
“I’m gonna go check over there for the hole,” he said, pointing toward the back
wall of backyard.
Ariadne studied him. “Okaaay. Go ahead…?”
He put his hands out. “It’s nothing against you.”
She nodded. “Clearly.”
Within the next two minutes, Ariadne took one wrong step, missing the giant
hole, and fell into the tunnel entrance.
“Shit, where’s my cell?” Ariadne unintentionally said into her Bluetooth as she
attempted to check herself for injuries, slow down her pounding heart, and find her phone
at the same time.
“Oh my God, are you texting someone during a heist?” Crowe demanded.
“What does it matter if I am? It’s not every day that Adam texts me.”
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Ariadne flipped on a flashlight and spotted her phone a few feet into the tunnel.
“Who’s Adam?”
“My grad school boyfriend.”
“…I thought you were a lesbian during grad school?”
Ariadne grabbed her phone and stuck it back in her pocket. “For the second year.
First year I was in an experimental with a transgender female-to-male named Adam. He
was kind of the most chill person I ever knew and almost as sweet as Mattie.”
Crowe snickered. “Why didn’t you keep him?”
“We were looking for different things.”
She brushed the dirt off her pants (white pants, best idea ever) and kept going,
waiting for Logan to give further words.
“So uh…how’s that whole finding the statue thing going?”
Ariadne shrugged. “It’s going fine. Just can’t find the damn entrance to this
separate thing Rose was talking about.”
“Too crowded in there with Sven?”
She wasn’t sure whether her stomach or heart fell faster, but regardless came to
the same conclusion of panic.
“Sven?” she called out as she turned around. “Sven?”
No answer. Then again, why would he hear her from where she was? She looked
at her Bluetooth and checked it for any damage. If everything was working right, he
should’ve been listening to her whole Adam talk whether he wanted to or not.
“Hey Logan, are you getting Sven’s feed?”
“Not really. But then again, what would he say?”
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“How about ‘Ew Aunt Ariadne, stop talking about your grad school relationship
with some transgender kid’? I haven’t heard from the kid in forever.”
“You worried?”
“Do I have to answer?”
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Chapter 24
Self-Resourceful
Rose had to admit that that first minute of being shoved into a closet out of
completely nowhere was downright terrifying. In those few seconds, she went from clearheaded with a clear goal in mind to the mental disposition of someone drowning on a
stormy day: nothing aside from incoherent fear thrashing any viable logic from her
immediate mind.
“Rose! St—shit Rose, ow, shiit—”
She shot out of her fog. “Dorian?” A light was flicked on to reveal Rose’s host
brother as he rubbed his eye. “Sorry.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
“Wait, what are you doing here? Dad said to stay in the car…”
Dorian nodded. “I know, I know. But look—I want to help. I know I chickened
out and I don’t want that to define me. If there’s anything I can do, please tell me. I know
we can’t really rearrange the jobs now but I could keep cover for you or something.”
Something sparked in Rose’s mind. Dorian hated how people always gave that
“or something” suggestion. He was always concise with his suggestions. If there were a
word to replace something, he would’ve offered it by now.
“Dorian Draper, tell me right now: what’s wrong?”
He hesitated, as if searching for the exact words to make the process as painless as
possible. “I can’t hear Sven’s Bluetooth.”
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Rose couldn’t accept what Dorian was saying. “He doesn’t know how to use that
thing anyway.”
Dorian put a hand on Rose’s shoulder. “It was completely disconnected.”
“Then what are we doing just standing here? We have to go find Sven and make
sure he’s okay!”
Dorian almost instantly covered Rose’s mouth with his hand, which only got her
squirming again. “Okay, okay, okay! Jesus Christ, I’ll go look for him. You go get in
touch with your dad.”
Dorian and Rose peered out of the closet, and, upon finding the coast clear, made
a break for it.
“God Sven, you’re a popular bitch,” Dorian muttered to himself as he half started
walking toward his exit, Sven’s location a complete and utter mystery to him.
*
*
*
But we’re the ones who take it. We’re the ones who make it in the end.
Ever since he’d first accepted the fact that he no longer lived with his father, Sven
had been relying on music as the one thing that could always calm him down. He’d been
repeating ‘Beggars at the Feast’ ever since a rather large man with a rather small gun
picked him off the backyard and had taken him into a room on the second floor of
Barrow’s house. So far, things had been pretty quiet: the guard had removed the gun from
Sven’s temple ever since he locked the door. At that point, Sven’s hands were taped
together in front of him as he stared at the guard.
“What are you waiting for?” Sven asked once he was sure that he wasn’t startling
the man.
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“Boss’s orders. Seems she’s more interested in who else you’re with.”
Sven nodded and assessed his assets. There was a window directly across from
him, the guard didn’t look that smart, and he was fairly certain that the pen gun he’d
made that previous night wouldn’t blow up on him and it was sitting in his breast pocket.
He had a few seconds of pulling the pen out and pushing the trigger before his guard
would catch on. He glanced down. Yes, he could do it. After one last glance up at the
guard, Sven swallowed and grabbed the pen with his teeth.
He slid his front teeth over the clip and his left bottom molars could control the
spring button. Without aiming, thinking, or looking to make sure the window really was
open, Sven shot the guard, scrambled to his feet, and jumped headfirst out the window.
Out of pure luck, Sven was able to get back to his feet with only some blood from a
scrape on his face.
From there, he went running, running toward any cover he could find. His mind
still running a million miles per hour, he ran in the near opposite direction of the car and
toward a tree, only to have the ground fall from under him and tumble down a hole. His
heart still thumping in his chest, he tried to get up, only for a sharp pain to shoot through
his right foot. He swore; of course he wouldn’t get hurt from jumping out the two-story
window but rather falling in the giant hole. Biting the pen he’d managed to keep in his
mouth, and started half limping, half running away from the light.
And ended running right into a metal door.
“HOLY SHIT!”
Sven, despite the new array of pain, could recognize his aunt’s voice anywhere.
“Aunt Ariadne?” he called out weakly.
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“Sven?!”
They met gazes for a second before Ariadne was pulling him into the other room
by an Oompa Loompa sized hole she’d made in the bottom of the door.
“Ow, ow, ow! Aunt Ariadne, stop!”
Once he was fully through, Ariadne showed her flashlight on him. “Are you
okay?”
“How okay do I look?!”
She looked him over. “You look like me after being trapped in Sloss Furnace for
five hours straight.”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“What’s hurt?”
“I scratched my face and my foot hurts.”
“Not important enough. Where the hell have you been?”
Sven couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was if she thought he wanted to be
stolen. Then again, he supposed that she was probably on some kind of outside substance
that was keeping her mood down. Because—he had to be honest—if she were acting
herself, she would’ve smothered him with Ariadne Evans parental concern a.k.a.
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU FUCKING BEEN? followed by some kind of gutsqueezing hug, her breaking down crying and crossing herself all in one gesture.
“Did you smoke pot before you came here?” Sven asked.
All Ariadne could do was give him the evil eye. “Do I look like the type of person
who does pot?”
Sven stared at her, smiled, and nodded.
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“Let’s just go get the damn statue.” She started walking away from him. “And put
your Bluetooth back on.”
Sven shifted his eyes. “I might have broken that before I got caught.”
She gave him a look that he couldn’t distinguish between angry and given up.
“You’re a dumbass, Sven.”
“Oh no, you’re out a hundred bucks out of millions.”
“Every penny counts.”
She and Sven got quiet, giving her enough time to check herself to make sure she
hadn’t had a heart attack/stroke.
“Yo Crowe, I found Sven,” Ariadne muttered into her Bluetooth.
“Thank the Lord. Rosie and I are just putting our last touches on the dye packets.
We’ll be out in a few.”
“You takin’ care of the bitch?”
Ariadne could almost sense Logan’s grin. “If we see her, we’ll pay a visit. Got a
few questions to ask her. How’s the heist going?”
Ariadne looked around. “There’s no light in here and the statue’s just sitting on a
table down here. Should be out in a few minutes.”
She took one step forward only to have a strong stinging surface along her arm.
After biting her tongue to keep from crying out, she shined the flashlight along her arm
and found a thin yet heavily bleeding slash cut diagonally from a few inches past her
wrist to a bit before her forearm. She put her arm down and shined the flashlight directly
in front of her only to realize that the entire room was lined with thin, almost invisible
wires, wires that cut flesh with ease.
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“Fuckin’ bitch…” she muttered as she resisted licking the blood off her arm.
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Chapter 25
Those Stupid Mistakes
“Dad, why do I get the feeling that this is way too easy?” Rose asked as she was
down to five dye packets.
“Because putting dye packets on random objects is a task that a toddler could do.”
She glared at him. “Not what I meant.”
He gave a smile. “Look hun, just keep your senses on high alert.” He chewed the
inside of his mouth. “I’ll admit, there is something seriously wrong about this place.”
Rose gave up on making patterns or plans with the packets and simply took the
room they were in and put them all within a few feet of each other. Crowe gave his
daughter a look.
“Getting lazy?”
“It’s so sophisticated that it looks as if it’s uncaring.”
Crowe smiled and rolled his eyes. “Whatever you say.” They started moving
toward the stairs, their mission pretty much accomplished. “Do you have any
homework?”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me. I know at least one of those teachers assigned you something.”
When the Crowes realized that they’d already passed the stairs, they were already
in a room they’d already put packets in. A room that also just so happened to contain Ms.
Hayden Barrow herself.
“Oh Logan, how kind of you to come to me,” she said sarcastically as she pulled
herself up off a La-Z-Boy.
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Rose twitched as if to leave the room, but a brush of her father’s hand against hers
told her that he had things under control.
“Y’know it’s funny how reputations work, eh? Cause, uhh, I have absolutely no
idea who you are yet you already know me by first name.”
She stifled a laugh. “Wait, you don’t know who I am?” Crowe shook his head.
She walked up to Crowe, got within a foot of him, and reached across him to gently shut
the door. Before either could react to their entrapment, Barrow produced a steak knife
and dug it into Crowe’s shoulder before he even saw the blade. “Then I suppose we have
a bit to talk about, don’t we?”
*
*
*
Dorian was not looking for much when he came to America. The usual of
teenagers in a foreign country: hot girls, good food, a couple sites that could make him
awe in wonder. What had he gotten in about two months? Cheeseburgers, sex with one of
the hottest girls in his school, the knowledge of being able to go home and say he saw
two slight TILFs make out, and images that fit better in a horror film. And a bad one at
that.
“Hey Sven, where are ya, you rascal?” Dorian joked to himself as he walked
toward the front door.
For a moment, he stopped.
He really had to piss.
This would so happen to me, he thought to himself. He didn’t exactly think that
asking the grown-ups if they could hurry up so he could go potty would really work in
this situation. And…well, as for that whole waiting thing, as far as he knew, “heists” took
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a very long time. As far as he could tell, they were nowhere near complete. He looked
around. Was he allowed to use the bathroom of some chick they were stealing from?
Although it sounded kind of funny, he couldn’t really see a reason that he couldn’t. It
didn’t exactly take long to find a bathroom, but unoccupied was another thing.
“Oh shit mate, I’m so—”
Dorian’s eyes widened when he saw exactly what the bathroom occupant was
doing. He had a towel pressed up against his face, face being a loose term. There was a
gaping bloody hole where one of his eyes should’ve been, torn flesh ringing the edges,
dark red pouring out like it was the waterfall in the Crowes’ backyard.
“Oh my—”
Dorian stumbled backwards and onto the floor where he backed out as fast as his
numb legs would let him. Once he hit a wall, he scrambled to his feet and ran out. That
guy was shot in the eye. Holy shit, holy shit, holy mothereffing shit!
*
*
*
Logan honestly believed that he forgot how to breathe once he looked down and
saw that hilt sticking out of his body. This kind of intimate injury was already
overwhelming enough, and the fact that this lady had done it in such an underhanded way
was getting to be way too much. For a few seconds, he didn’t even feel the pain, only a
hit of vertigo. Once the dizziness stopped, memories flashed by, all distinctly saying one
thing: he’d never actually been stabbed before. He had no idea how close he was to
dying.
“Calm down, Crowe. I bet I didn’t even break tissue.” She grabbed his face. “But
that doesn’t mean that I won’t change that.”
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He kept his gaze fixed on her light eyes, even after she put a gun to his head. As
long as she wasn’t focused on Rose, he was fine. Plus, the quicker he remembered her the
better.
“What do you want from me?” he asked.
Barrow glanced back at Rose. “Get the kid to move away from the door.”
Although it pained him, Crowe didn’t correct Barrow’s harsh words for his
daughter.
“Rose,” he said gently, like a master to his dog.
Rose followed orders and sat next to her father on a bench as Barrow sandwiched
Crowe in.
“Still don’t remember me, Logan?” He shook his head. “Here’s a hint. March
27th, 1981.”
The vertigo returned with fever. Suddenly everything started coming together
with the force of a rouge wave.
“Destiny?”
Barrow gave sarcastic smile. “Coming back?”
Crowe nodded. “Uh, I don’t mean to make this awkward or anything, but what the
fucking hell are you doing? That was—”
“That was what? Do you even remember what you did to me?”
“We—we…I mean—they said that—”
“What did they tell you?” Crowe couldn’t say. Barrow looked at Rose. “Who’s
the girl, Logan? Niece? Friend’s kid? Daughter, perhaps?” She smiled when she saw
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Crowe wince at the word “daughter.” “Does your little girl know about Bakersfield?
Know about what happened in foster care?”
Crowe kept his gaze away from Rose. “She had no reason to know about that. It’s
inappropriate to mention…”
Barrow kept her gaze on Rose. “Rose, isn’t it? Your dad’s told you about the
birds and the bees, now hasn’t he?” Blushing, Rose nodded. “Your dad ever tell you
about how responsible he was the first time he ever had sex?” Rose shook her head.
“He’s probably just embarrassed. He was fourteen, was friends with my younger brother.
I was studying at junior college. You’ll learn, sweetheart. Things happened. The back of
my car if I remember it right.” Rose was staring at her shoes, unsure if she should be
more embarrassed or scared while shame washed over Crowe. Every word of the story
hurt as he remembered his own details to it. Barrow reached her hand out and slid a
finger down Crowe’s face. “The cops caught us. They brought you down to foster care.
Said how you’d be getting a record for it because of laws back then. I believe they
mentioned misdemeanor because of our age difference? It was six years. A few days
passed and suddenly the cops show up at my house with a statutory rape felony
conviction. You took the witness stand and lied. It came down to either pay $25,000 or
serve three years in prison.”
“Desti—Hayden, I had no choice. I couldn’t have a criminal record if I was ever
to get custody of Mattie. If I had a single mark on my record, they would’ve never
allowed it. I didn’t mean to put you in jail or anything—”
“You think it ends with the jail sentence? Five years ago, my husband, who had
been putting me through a domestic abuse relationship, tries to kill me and my children.
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You know what the cops do? They, for months, try to prove my husband’s innocence by
pinning it on me being crazy. You know what they cite? The time with you. I almost lost
my kids and let a psychopath run free because of you! And all for what? Look at you!
You have ten times the criminal record that misdemeanor would’ve given you. So was it
worth it, Crowe? Was it worth ruining my life?”
He felt the barrel dig deeper into his skin. “So what are you gonna do about it?
You won’t accept an apology from me. So what was all this for, huh? What’s your next
step?”
Her fingers wrapped around the hilt of the knife and, with one solid motion,
pulled the knife out of Crowe’s shoulder. Crowe leaned forward in pain and gritted his
teeth to keep his cries soft. The blade, still caked and dripping blood, went straight to his
neck. “Me? I’m going to torture you within inches of your life and make you feel the
exact pain I felt when I watched that monster hurt my children.”
In that moment, there was no more to be said. Crowe knew he couldn’t cause any
physical harm to this woman so long as she was hurting him. She knew this. They both
knew that she wouldn’t touch Rose. They both knew that that meant that he would be
taking her blows and the pain in his shoulder was already bad enough.
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Chapter 26
A Tangled Web
“Aunt Ariadne, what’s going on?” Sven called out into the mostly darkness after
he heard his aunt muffle a cry of pain.
“I sure hope you’ve watched Indiana Jones more than me, bud.”
Sven hesitated. “Does the ride at Disneyland count?”
She swore. “Not even close. Do you have a flashlight?”
For the first time since the mission had started, Sven smiled. A few seconds of
digging through his jacket pockets, and he found it, turning it on immediately.
Only to jump back in surprise. Literally inches from him was a web of tiny wires,
like what was put a telephone wires. Ignoring better judgment, he slowly reached his
fingers out and tried to touch one, only for it to prick his finger, the pain worse than a
paper cut. Blood trickled down his index finger and he stuck it in his mouth.
“What are you doing?” Ariadne called out.
Sven took his finger out, the metallic taste stuck on his tongue. “Um, I think I get
that Indiana Jones reference now.”
“Lovely. Shine the flashlight this way.”
Sven, still a bit disorientated, took a few extra seconds to actually find his aunt.
She wasn’t exactly surrounded by wires, but there were a few obvious ones around her,
and her sleeve was rolled up revealing her still fresh cut.
“We’re gonna look like horror movie victims when we’re out of here. Where’s the
statue?” Sven said.
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Ariadne pointed a few feet to her left where the statue was sitting on a small
decorative table.
“Do you see a point in stealing a statue only to put in a room full of razor wires?”
Ariadne commented.
Sven crouched below the wire that pricked him and got a foot or two forward.
“Barrow’s crazy? And uh, is there some trick to all this?”
Ariadne smiled to herself. “Depends on how masochistic you are.” She scooted a
few inches away from the wires in front of her and put her flashlight on the statue, its
rubies gleaming from the light. She was about to get down on her hands and knees when
Sven called out.
“There’s a wire lying low right in front of you.”
Ariadne moved the flashlight to the floor and found his call to be correct. “I think
you may be onto something, bud.” Slowly, she returned back to a standing position.
“God, this is going to make me feel really old.”
She stepped over the lower wire and under two forming an X only to have one
brush up against her side. She cursed and pushed her hand against the cut. “I swear to
God, if I die today, it’ll be because I was bled out from hundreds of these stupid cuts.”
Sven smirked. “Or when Jesus smites you with lightening for taking God’s name
in vain so many times.”
“Like the pot talking to the kettle.”
“Are you calling yourself fat?” Although temptation still stood to give him the
finger, Ariadne resorted to the force instead. “Our telepathic connection died a while
ago.”
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Sven decided to squish himself into the smallest space he could occupy and just
walk through, which actually worked long enough for him only to emerge with a few cuts
and yet get farther than his aunt.
“How the hell did you do that?”
“I’m a ninja, duh.”
Ariadne rolled her eyes and slowly navigated herself through the wires, getting a
small cut every few steps. By the time she and Sven were in the relatively same spot,
each of them were covered in cuts and unwiped blood, the red almost making the look a
network of chaotic red tribal art.
“Dammit, it’s gonna suck to go back to school and have everyone call me emo,”
Sven complained as he looked down at his arms and torn clothing.
“You think you have a problem? Try having a history of cutting and having to
have your coworkers stare at you patronizingly every second until you agree to see a
therapist. At least you can wear those emo wristbands.” The two of them shifted their
gazes to the statue. “How heavy do you think that thing is?”
“Pretty heavy.”
Ariadne looked down at the thin reusable bag she’d been carrying around. “Yeah,
there’s this awkward feeling coming over me. I’m holding a Free People bag for this.”
Sven stared at her. “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that
you intended to give that to Dorian/Rose for the dye packs.”
After what felt like hours of hesitation, Ariadne nodded. “So how bout you check
the weight on that thing and I support you with your limp?”
“What about the wires?”
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“We gonna get masochistic.”
Sven started walking toward the statue only to miss a wire and trip, his fall
stopped by what seemed to be a net of wires. What started out as a network turned into a
thick mess of red.
“Sven! Jesus, are you okay?” she braved through straight up walking through
some more wires to get to him.
“I-I’m f-fine. God,” he seethed, “I’m okay…”
Ariadne pulled off Sven’s jacket and tried to use to staunch his wounds. From
there, she mentally drew a plan together. Sven couldn’t take the thing out in his arms with
all his injuries and if they were going to not die from blood loss, they’d need to get out
soon. She pulled Sven back to his feet, tripped over a wire, and fell into the table that the
statue was on.
“It doesn’t work in video games and it doesn’t work in real life. You can’t make
the brains do the thief work,” she grumbled as she got her footing back.
That first touch of the statue had an odd spiritual feeling for Ariadne. Never had
she been the one who actually got to put her gloves on the target object, something she’d
become accustomed to after nearly twenty years. Actually being able to see the intricate
details carved into the gorilla’s face, the dull shine of the ebony, and the gleam and blood
red of the rubies was mind blowing. God, she really hoped she wouldn’t drop it.
And yup, it was really heavy.
“C’mon Sven, let’s just get out of here.”
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It took a bit of maneuvering and some clenched teeth from new cuts, but they
managed to get back into the tunnel. About five minutes later and Ariadne ran straight
into a wall of dirt. A chill ran down her spine as she realized something.
It hadn’t gotten any lighter.
She looked up and couldn’t see the opening to the hole they’d started in. Even a
quick flashlight inspection couldn’t tell her what exactly she was dealing with. When she
tried to get a hold of Crowe and Rose, neither of them answered. Her legs became
suddenly weak, causing her to feebly lower herself to the dirt ground, the statue still in
hand. Sven stared at her.
“We’re stuck in here, aren’t we?”
*
*
*
Fourteen hours. Ariadne was already jittery with excitement, her eyes glued on
the clock above the television. Mattie had left around seven and estimated about an hour
or so with Logan, so she wasn’t worried. Yet, she couldn’t wait until he got back home.
Waiting suddenly became so much harder when one was exposed to the reward at the end
of the tunnel. And damn sure she’d been exposed to that reward. She studied the snakelike diamond ring Mattie had given her as his symbol to their recent engagement. The
next morning, he’d slip a band to accompany the ring and she’d do the same for him.
Even though they were eloping, the only guests being Logan and a few friends, the
prospect of a wedding was still blowing her mind. She was getting married the next
morning. She’d be Mrs. Ariadne Crowe as of noon of the next day.
She was so fixated on the ring that the doorbell made her nearly jump out of her
skin. A prick of cold fear hit her as she looked again at the clock. Who would ring the
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doorbell at eight at night? A neighbor? A kid selling something who didn’t realize the
time? A robber?
She couldn’t help laughing to herself at the prospect of a robber coming to rob
the house of a couple of professional thieves. With that in mind, she nearly skipped to the
door and opened it with ease.
“May I help—?” There, standing in her doorway, was Logan, completely Mattieless with an unreadable expression etched into his features. “Where’s Mattie?”
He didn’t answer her question. “Come on. There’s something I have to show
you.”
Ariadne crinkled her brow. “What? Logan, it’s late. Just tell me when Mattie will
be home and leave me be.”
“Come on, I’ll just take you to Mattie.”
“Why can’t—?”
Logan grabbed her wrist and forced her out with him, her barely able to grab her
house keys. He gently pushed her into the front seat of one of his expensive cars, the seat
cold to the touch.
“Sorry, it’s been forced outside for a bit. You know how weather is here…”
Ariadne still couldn’t read the look on Logan’s face. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
He sighed. “I’d rather show you.”
For a moment, such a deep knot of anxiousness and dread tied itself into
Ariadne’s stomach that she swore she’d throw up any second now. When she looked at
her ring, she noticed that her hands were shaking.
“Logan, what’s wrong?”
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He still refused to answer until he pulled into his garage. An eerie quiet washed
over the two as he escorted her upstairs.
“Be prepared for what you’re going to see…”
For a while, she looked everywhere but straight where her eyes wanted to go.
Logan physically forced her to look at it after he noticed her denial.
“Mattie’s gone, Ariadne. I’m so sorry…”
Mattie wasn’t gone, per say. His body was still there, still lying on the white shag
carpet. In retrospect, it wasn’t even such a horrible sight. His face was still intact, ignore
the look of unspeakable pain written into his features. His eyes were forcefully closed.
His arms weren’t in any unnatural positions, just lying by his sides. Ariadne slowly
approached him, like a cheetah cub approaching a dead lion.
Upon further inspection, she finally allowed herself to look at his chest. It was
gaping, the severed flesh an angry reddish color, stained with blood. The red liquid
covered the wound and seeped deep into his clothing, forming a cloud of red stains that
reached to the ends of his torso. If she looked closer at the wound she would’ve been able
to see in to the broken tissue, the giant tear in his heart, all the way to the slightest wisps
of the white carpet his body was on.
Her shaking hands fell on his face, one brushing his dark hair out of his eyes. She
didn’t even realize what was happening to her own body before she collapsed on top of
him, heaving sobs racking her body.
“He was stabbed all the way through. Ariadne—please, you have to
understand…I didn’t mean for this to happen…Rose is hurt too, Bianca took her to the
hospital. I’m sorry that you had to find out this way.”
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Mattie…Mattie…the blood, the stabbing…the…
“Mattie’s dead, Ariadne. Please, I need to get him ready for a postmortem. You
shouldn’t have your DNA all over him.”
He gently pulled who would be his sister-in-law off his brother and into his arms.
He hugged her tight, despite her limpness in his arms.
“Mattie…” she mumbled.
“He’s gone, Ari. Please don’t make me say it again.”
Mechanically, she wrapped her arms around him. “Where’s he going?”
Logan took a deep breath. “He’ll go get a postmortem. Police’ll probably
investigate before. Then he’ll go to the funeral parlor.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Once they embalm him, they’ll fix him up for the funeral…”
“What’s embalm?”
Logan looked away. “They inject them with an artificial preservative. Or
refrigerate him. I can’t remember.”
“I’m gonna throw up…”
“Tile’s easier to clean up.”
She barely made the threshold between the carpet and the tile.
Goosey, goosey gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
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Who wouldn't say his prayers,
So I took him by his left leg
And threw him down the stairs.
Ariadne woke up the next morning with Bianca kneeling down beside her. Once
Bianca noticed her, she gave a weak smile.
“How ya feeling?”
Ariadne sat up and looked around. “Where’s Mattie?!”
Bianca nonchalantly rubbed her eye. “They took him in for a postmortem. Police
managed to question Logan while he was watching Rose.”
“What are you doing here then?”
Bianca took a deep breath. “As for me, I’m here because A) this house is a mess
and B) I didn’t want you to be alone.”
“Wait…is there going to be an investigation? Aren’t we in the crime scene?”
Bianca rolled her eyes. “Your vomit was the only thing they said I could clean up.
C’mon, let’s get out for a bit. Get some fresh air.”
Donning sunglasses and some borrowed clothes from Bianca, Ariadne walked
outside, Bianca’s arm around her.
“Bianca…you really don’t have to do this…”
“Ariadne, stop. You’re like a little sister to me and I know how much Mattie
meant to you. I’m here for you.”
“Bee?”
“Mmm?”
“Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?”
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Bianca paused. “I…I don’t think I believe in the typical Heaven and Hell, no…”
Tears welled in Ariadne’s eyes. “Then where is he now?”
Bianca put Ariadne in a side hug. “Baby, no, no I didn’t mean it like that…I’m
sure that Mattie’s in whatever Heaven exists out there. Hell, he probably with his parents
right now. He’s fine. It’s you and my husband that I’m concerned about.”
“I’m fine, Bianca. I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”
Bianca gave her a skeptical look. “I’m keeping you close, honey. Just remember
that. Time will heal the pain, and whatever it can’t, just know we’re all suffering the
same pain.”
Ariadne ended up staying with the Crowes for a week, watching numbly as police
investigated the house and confirmed that she was not present during the murder. By the
end of week one, Logan approached her.
“So you’re released?”
“From what?”
“The investigation.” She nodded. “You thinking about going home?” She shook
her head. “I think you should.”
“Bianca said that I could stay so long as I need her. I think I still need a while.”
Logan sighed. “Ariadne, how do I put this? You—I think it would be in everyone’s
best interest if you went home.”
“Why?”
“It’s not healthy for you to be dwelling on it so much. Look Ariadne—go home.
It’ll be easier for you to heal.”
She shook her head. “Logan, I can’t just leave now. Mattie—”
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“Yeah, he was the love of your life. I get it. But you heard me. Get out. You’re not
part of the investigation anymore. You’re not part of his family. Go forget about him.”
“Logan—”
“He was never yours to keep. Go forget about him, Ariadne.”
Hurt, confused, and completely out of her mind, she ran away from the Crowes’
house, unsure if she was even going toward her house. Yet, through it all, one thing was
absolutely certain in her mind:
Give me a lifetime and I’ll never forget him.
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Chapter 27
Double Standards
Crowe backed off the bench. “Now don’t you think that we’re all being a little bit
crazy? Doesn’t it hurt you to know that you’re virtually hurting someone who cannot
fight back?”
Barrow shook her head. “I’ve been waiting decades for this day, Crowe.”
It’s just self-defense.
Crowe ran right to the door, only to find it locked. By the time he realized that
Barrow had the key, he had to dodge a stab to his head.
You have to bring her down. It’s the only way to know that Rose is truly safe.
The pain from his shoulder returned. He sacrificed a few seconds to glance at it,
noting that there was a pretty solid flow of blood coming off it. When he looked back up,
he had to fall back in order to avoid another blow, this time falling on Rose.
“Dad…”
“Stay out of the way, baby.”
She has the key, Rose realized as she watched her father run at her and seem to
reach for the woman’s pocket, only to sidestep away from the knife she held. As she
watched her father, her confidence drained and drained. If her dad didn’t grow some balls
and actually hit her back, she’d get him. Just the thought of having to watch her father get
stabbed again put a lump of fear in the back of her throat. Why wasn’t she doing
anything? She patted her pockets, only to realize that was armed with literally nothing.
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Well, that was a slight excuse. As she sat there, she tried forming a plan, a trigger
point. If Barrow actually managed to stab her father a second time, she’d break out
whatever guns she had, metaphorical as they were.
Her moment came all too soon, a fleeting second when Crowe glanced back at
Rose and Barrow violently kicked the back of his knee, forcing him to collapse in enough
time for her to dig her knife into his lower back. He finally cried out in pain, the sound
reminding Rose of a helpless animal. Okay, this bitch is going to kill him. Think quick!
Rose rushed to them and came down to Barrow’s level.
“Please Ms. Barrow, don’t kill him. He’s all I have. My mom’s dead and I have
no other family. Don’t make me have to watch him die. I already watched my mom die.”
Her voice was shaking on its own. She tried swallowing the lump in her throat. “Don’t
you have children? How do you think they’d feel if they had to watch you die?”
Barrow’s eyes didn’t suddenly fill with empathy, but she did get off Crowe and
didn’t take her knife out of him to stab him again. Rose resisted the urge to rush to her
father’s aid.
“I’ll make a deal with you, sweetheart. You’re trying to steal a statue from me,
aren’t you?” She nodded. “Your gang’s still working?” She nodded again. “Take me to
them. Let them take the fall. I’ll call the police and the paramedics. Your daddy here will
get adequate medical attention and we can all go on with life.” Rose bit her lip. “Come on
honey, I know you have your priorities straight. Save your daddy.”
Crowe’s breathing was heavy and seemed forced, worrying Rose. She had no idea
how bad he was, but she sure as hell wasn’t gambling with his life. For a moment, she
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and him met eyes, and she swore that his eyes were getting glassy. Rose swallowed again
and nodded to her father.
“I’ll take you.”
Barrow pressed a button on an intercom system stuck to the wall and called
someone named Vince upstairs. Rose was shocked to find that Vince was missing an eye,
but kept it to herself. Barrow had Vince pick Crowe up and support him as Barrow put an
arm around Rose.
“Come on, sweetheart. Come show me your coworkers.”
Rose kept her gaze on her feet. “I don’t know how to get to the room other than
through a tunnel in the backyard…”
Barrow smiled. “It’s no problem. There’s two ways down there.”
The walk down to this secret underground room was torture for Rose.
Overwhelming senses of worry for her father crashed head on against a guilt over giving
Ariadne and Sven up. How could the heist have gone so wrong? Death and jail just
weren’t two things that Rose ever thought could happen in the Murder. And, to make
matters worse, when he looked back at her dad, she swore that he was getting paler. How
could someone survive after being stabbed twice and not be given medical attention? She
felt sick thinking that he may be no more than a corpse if she looked back at the wrong
time.
Be strong, Rose. Be strong like Mom would’ve been. Thoughts of her mother both
comforted and worried her further, if that was even possible. Mom would be proud of me.
She would be proud that I’m saving Dad, right? Or would she have wanted me to save all
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of the gang? Am I betraying Ariadne and Sven? What am I doing? Is there some other
choice in all this?
She hated thinking about the shock and betrayal she was sure to see as soon as the
two hear the news. Yet, what choice did she have? She couldn’t just knock out Vince and
start running with her father. Plus, Sven and Ariadne might not even be in there still.
Maybe they could give her backup. It wasn’t set in stone.
She looked back at her dad, who was still bleeding and pale. He gave her a weak
smile, to which she gave an even weaker one back.
Would this crazy chick really let her go after she gave her Ariadne and Sven? Or
would she Brutus them and kill them all on the spot? Rose supposed that having them all
die was better than only some of them. She stole a glance at Barrow, having her smile
back. Rose blanched and turned forward.
I’m saving Dad. I’m saving Dad. I’m saving Dad…
Finally, they reached where the typical house ended. To Rose’s slight interest,
Barrow pulled up a second of her flooring to reveal a door and a fold out staircase down
to the room that she’d found underground. She sighed; her dad would be able to get
medical attention soon.
“Watch your step,” Barrow warned as she flipped on a light switch.
Rose’s eyes widened in awe as she realized that the room was completely covered
in hanging wires. Barrow pushed another button and all the wires fell to the ground.
“They must be somewhere in the tunnel.”
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Rose caught Vince smirking when Barrow found that her door was broken, but
otherwise no one changed his or her unreadable expressions. Rose took one last deep
breath before she put her eyes forward in search for Ariadne and Sven.
Rose started rubbing her face out of nerves.
No one noticed Rose stop for one second, an epiphany hitting her.
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Chapter 28
Et Tu…It’s Brutus, Right?
“Here ya go, Ms. Barrow,” Rose said in a flat voice.
Barrow smirked when she got full view of a completely cut up Sven and Ariadne,
Ariadne holding the statue.
“Excellent work, Rose.”
The looks on Ariadne and Sven’s faces were just as Rose had dreaded. She tucked
a piece of her hair behind her ear.
“Should I get you a phone, Ms. Barrow?” Rose asked.
Ariadne licked her bottom lip. Barrow nodded and Rose rushed upstairs. Sprinting
through each room, she grabbed each and every dye packet she could find and shoving it
down her shirt and into her pant pockets. Finally, she grabbed the wireless phone that
she’d attached a packet to before nearly falling down the stairs and back where the others
were. To her chagrin, Ariadne was laughing. No, not just laughing, but hunched over
laughing and clapping.
“Please excuse the hired help who is currently laughing like a retarded seal,”
Crowe said.
“Wait, wait, wait. She raped you?” Ariadne confirmed.
She fell into another fit of laughter, actually wiping tears off her blood-soaked
cheeks. Rose handed the phone to Barrow and exchanged a look with Ariadne, who
motioned toward a Free People bag she was holding. Rose took a deep breath, as if she
was about to start an oral presentation in class.
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She watched as Barrow put the phone to her ear. Ariadne smirked like a maniac,
her teeth showing through the crooked smile. Rose counted down the seconds between
when Barrow started pressing buttons on the phone until she was splattered with red ink
and screaming in pain. The seconds between the two, Rose had thrown the dye packets
out around, now covering the tunnel in splattered ink. Ink had spayed onto each and
every one of them, mostly on their pants and shoes, but a few strays managed to hit
people in the upper body or face. It almost felt like a practical joke, what with all the
colors suddenly covering up the blood. The ink was warm to the skin and had a pretty
common consistency. Vince’s expression was completely blank, as if this was the
absolute last thing he would’ve ever thought would happen on the job. Barrow was
clutching her face, the screams not even hoarse yet. Rose couldn’t help but flinch; she
must’ve been close enough to the dye that she’d felt that 400 degrees. Above all, Rose
could easily hear Ariadne’s laughing over everything.
Yet, there was something else entirely taking over her thoughts. Her chest was
completely on fire, a burning worse than a stray touch to a hot oven. Tears ran from her
eyes as she looked down at the red stain, suddenly realizing that she’d left a dye packet in
her cleavage. From there, she followed blindly as Ariadne supported her father and she
and Sven carried the statue out. Ariadne took driver as Crowe was put in the front seat.
“Don’t…Don’t go to the hospital. Go to 32153 Stet Street. It’s five minutes from
here. I can get help there,” Crowe said to Ariadne, his voice hoarse.
Ariadne stared at him like he’d grown another head. “You’ve been stabbed in the
back and you don’t want me to take you to the hospital.”
“Just type in the fucking address.”
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Ariadne typed in the address into the navigation. Ignoring how she changed the
language to French, she followed the order well enough.
“Um, I hate to be the downer here, but what the hell happened to everyone? Did
anyone come out without some major injury?” Dorian asked once Ariadne was
comfortably on the road and not yelling French obscenities at the navigation.
“Not possible,” Ariadne answered. “Crowe! I said keep that wrapped around you!
Do you want to go into shock?”
“Do you know how hard it is to ignore the lightheadedness while I’m wrapped in
some kind of artificial cotton candy scent?”
“I don’t care if it smells like cum, you keep that shit wrapped around you!”
“There’s a knife stuck in me and you have the nerve to yell at me?”
“Yeah, I do! Only you would have a psychotic ex lover who’d go through all the
trouble of paying off a gang and tricking Luke into luring you into her house! And you
know what else? I haven’t eaten in fifteen hours and it’s really pissing me off.”
“Oh no, you skipped breakfast. Once again, I have a knife in my back!”
Ariadne smiled devilishly. “You know there’s a Taco Bell coming up. Let’s go
get something.”
Now Crowe was unnecessarily pissed off. “Are you kidding me?” She shook her
head. “My God Ariadne, you sleep with my brother and think that you don’t completely
owe me?”
She shrugged. “All my sisters-in-law have slept with my brothers and you don’t
see me holding it against them.”
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“You had non-penetrative sex with my brother where I was forced to sleep in the
bed next to you two!”
“And whose fault is that?”
“We were in the middle of Utah and my brother decided to book us a room in a
prostitute hotel. Whose fault do you think it was?”
“You could’ve joined in.”
He gave her a look. “Oh yeah, cause I totally wanted to tap that.”
“Uh yeah. Who doesn’t want to tap me?”
“Oh look! Destination ahead!” Rose interjected.
Sven leaned into her. “How did you know that?”
“Because I learned more than three words in French over the summer.”
Crowe was met at the front door by a tall man who gave him the face as if he’d
just watched that dinosaur with the Darth Vader mask riding the whale that Tuck from
English 11 had drawn walk past his front yard.
“Logan Crowe?!”
“Yeah, you treat animals. Wanna make triple and treat a human?”
The man looked around in complete confusion at the two bloody children, one
bloody woman, and the man who owned the fox with several bleeding knife wounds in
front of him.
“What the hell?” he finally said.
Crowe leaned into him. “Dr. Vacher, I will seriously pay you twenty grand if you
don’t kill me.”
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Dr. Vacher nodded and ordered Crowe over to a room filled with surgical
equipment. “Just uh, let me assess your wounds and we’ll get started.”
Ariadne, Sven, Rose, and Dorian took a seat in Dr. Vacher’s living room.
“Whose house are we in?” Dorian asked.
“My fox’s vet’s house,” Rose answered.
Dorian blinked. “Why?”
“Because since he’s already running an illegal veterinary practice, my dad
probably figures that he wouldn’t ask questions about his stab wound.”
Dorian, Ariadne, and Sven exchanged a look. “Jesus, I gotta stop thinking that
your dad’s an idiot,” Ariadne finally commented.
Everyone looked at each other’s injuries: ink was splattered on everyone, Ariadne
and Sven were cut up like turkeys, Sven wouldn’t let his foot touch the ground, and
Rose’s chest was already turning red.
“So uh, if we rated our injuries, who would win?” Ariadne asked.
“Daddy,” Dorian answered.
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “Aside from him.”
Sven and Rose exchanged a look. “Me,” Sven answered.
Ariadne glared at him. “You don’t even know what happened to Rose.”
He looked back at his girlfriend. “What happened?”
Rose tried to look nonchalant. “Really painful burn.”
Ariadne glanced at her watch. “I’m guessing that we’re going to be here for a
while. Who wants what from Taco Bell?”
“Not hungry,” Rose said.
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“Get me that three soft taco deal thing. Not supreme,” Dorian said.
“Not hungr—” Sven hesitated. “Get me a five layer burrito and a Dr. Pepper.”
“Oh! Mountain Dew!”
A few hours later, and Dr. Vacher had given treatment to everyone who needed it,
whether that meant rubbing Neosporin on cuts, cooling and bandaging burns, diagnosing
a sprained foot, and, in Crowe’s case, treating two stab wounds that tore through major
tissue. After a surgery to repair the tissue, numerous examinations for foreign bodies, and
laceration repair, Crowe emerged completely hocked up on narcotics, but stable.
Dr. Vacher smiled at Ariadne. “Don’t let him drive.”
Ariadne snorted. “As if.” Ariadne hesitated. “Which one of us should drive?”
“Considering Sven has to RICE his right foot, I’d recommend you, Rose, or the
Aussie.”
Dorian raised his hand. “Aussie don’t have a license.”
Dr. Vacher rolled his eyes. “Then don’t have the Aussie drive. Look Ariadne—
you drive.”
“Hey, could we stop by Erin’s house? I wanna get this statue out of Rose’s trunk,”
Crowe said.
Dr. Vacher gave him a look. “Now I know that my main clientele are foxes,
chimps, hedgehogs, raccoons, ferrets, alligators, and lions, but I am fairly certain that you
should not be doing anything like visiting.”
Sven starred at the doctor. “You treat lions and alligators?”
He nodded. “Californians are insane.” He turned back to Crowe. “Rest, Mr.
Crowe.”
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“We’ll keep him down, don’t ya worry,” Ariadne said as they left, winking.
“I’ll email him my tab. I expect that you’re all under his belt?”
Ariadne paused but nodded.
*
*
*
Erin Barro, otherwise known as the Forger, wasn’t exactly dressed for company
when she answered the door that afternoon, still in Christmas pajamas and makeup-less.
“Logan?”
Crowe gave a weak smile. She and Crowe hadn’t seen each other in years, maybe
even close to a decade, and she couldn’t help marvel at how he seemingly hadn’t aged.
However, the look in his eyes was a loophole; weathered didn’t even come close to
describing them. She was suddenly hyperaware of how stupid she must look.
“I have a present for you,” Crowe said.
She slouched. “We were supposed to get each other Christmas presents?”
Crowe’s smile grew into a full grin. “No honey, something else.”
A completely uncaring looking Ariadne came up from behind Crowe with the
statue in her hands.
“Hey Erin,” Ariadne said, giving her the sup nod.
“Hey Ari. You uh…you going through a midlife crisis or is today just not your
day?”
Ariadne shrugged. “I had to drive here with Logan’s directions. It was more of a
pain then this pain in ass.” She motioned to Sven. “Plus, y’know, life’s just meh.”
Erin laughed. “Well don’t just stand there. Come in!”
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Ariadne put the statue down and collapsed onto one of the couches facedown. The
kids all awkwardly took seats on one of the two non-occupied couches, leaving Erin and
Crowe with the last couch.
“Logan!”
He turned around slowly and stared at her. “Yes?”
“What are you on?”
He shrugged. “I have no idea. My vet forgot to tell me.”
She gave him a look. “Now I know that you and Ariadne don’t like to explain
your strange experiences, but why did your vet give you drugs?”
Crowe zoned out for a few seconds, causing Ariadne to have to answer while Erin
snapped in Crowe’s face. “He got stabbed and the vet gave him Vicodin.”
Erin’s eyes widened. “Why the hell did he get stabbed?”
Ariadne motioned toward the statue. “Indirectly, you. Bitch.”
“Ariadne, please, don’t play with me. I—”
Ariadne gave her a look. “I was being completely serious. You’re a bitch.”
“You call me bitch on an hourly basis,” Sven commented.
“That’s cause you’re metrosexual,” Ariadne retorted, faking a gay accent.
“Ariadne!” Erin interjected. “What the hell have you guys been doing? How did
Logan get stabbed? Why do you and the kids look like someone played extreme paint
ball with you with knives in the balls? I mean, I remember telling Stanley about someone
stealing that statue, but you guys didn’t have to—”
Ariadne thought about going over to Erin and slapping her, but she was too lazy.
“Okay look, Logan got a call a few weeks ago that your statue was stolen by the Katz and
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he declined. His kid and my nephew and Logan’s host son decided to go out and steal the
statue themselves. But, y’see, this woman named Hayden Barrow spelled with a w had
this whole scheme cooked up. She paid the Katz to steal it and leave themselves as
pawns, and then tipped off Luke that her address was yours. She figured that Crowe
would steal the statue to begin with, but it just worked out that we got back involved. She
tried to kill him a few hours ago.”
“Why did she want to him you?”
Crowe shrugged. “Let’s just say that I got her arrested for statutory rape.”
Erin nodded slowly. “Yeah, that could get someone pissed…she also kind of
crazy?”
“‘Kind of’ is being generous.”
Erin shook her head. “God you guys, I had no idea…You really didn’t have to do
all this for me. My God, just—I really owe you guys. Like, a big one.”
“That’s what she said,” Ariadne said. Erin stared at her. “Sorry, I’m tired and I
spend twenty hours a week with freshmen boys.”
Erin cracked a smile. “It’s okay. My little brother’s around that age and it’s
annoying as hell.” She looked at Rose, Sven, and Dorian. “Is someone going to introduce
me to the kids?”
“Blonde girl is Crowe’s daughter, Rose. Hipster guy is Dorian, Crowe’s host son
from Perth. Other brunette boy is my nephew, Sven.”
Erin got up and shook each of their hands. “It’s an honor to meet the kids who
risked their lives to get some stupid family heirloom home.” She stopped at Rose. “You
know I’ve known you since you were just an adorable little girl?”
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Rose blushed. “I uh, I don’t remember you. Sorry.”
Erin laughed. “It’s fine. But my God, you’ve got a lot of your mother in you.
Gorgeous.” Rose nodded and hid the frown. “Hey Ari, why didn’t you ever mention that
you had a nephew?” Ariadne shrugged.
“I’m one of fourteen nieces and nephews,” Sven added.
“Jesus, Ariadne!”
“I don’t like talking about them, okay?” Ariadne said.
Erin shook her head in disbelief. “At least tell me if you’re still a nun or a super
slut.”
Ariadne flipped onto her back. “I am in the limbo of celibacy searching for the
long since forgotten metaphorical key to my metaphorical chastity belt that has been lost
in the dark forest that I call my spiritual mind for near a decade.”
Erin snickered and leaned into Sven. “English teachers. They all took acid in
college.” Sven laughed to himself. “But in all honesty, could you translate?”
Erin leaned in, Ariadne translated, and Erin walked away laughing.
Erin and the kids had casual conversation until they realized that Crowe had fallen
asleep. On the way out, Erin gave one last thought.
“Honestly you guys, I owe you. Call me with anything. Oh, and Merry
Christmas!”
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Chapter 29
Lost and Found
Dorian ended up being the hero who drove the group home, Sven in the front seat.
After only a few minutes on the road, Crowe and Ariadne fell asleep, Rose barely awake.
“Sven?”
Sven looked over to Dorian. “Yeah?”
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.” Sven nodded. “You
remember that day when Dylan beat me up for sleeping with Bella?”
Sven snorted. “How could I forget? You’re a good fighter.”
Dorian shrugged. “Not really. But uh, well, I think that it was really cool that you
came in to support me.”
Sven was taken by surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I really appreciate that you risked your skin in order to defend me.
I’ll admit, I wouldn’t have done it for you. Honestly, it means a lot that you did that.”
Sven nodded. “It’s no problem. It was just an automatic reaction. Actually,
Vivienne kind of dogged me into it.”
“No Sven, I mean it. You’re a serious bro.” He smiled. “Pretty badass too.”
Sven finally cracked a smile. “I’m glad that out of all the Aussies that Rose
could’ve gotten, that she got you.”
Dorian laughed. “Out of all the Americans, I’m glad that you were the boyfriend.
Rose is a good choice.”
Sven nodded. “I think so too. I’m amazed that things have been going so well, to
be honest.”
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“Way better than my relationship, anyway.”
Sven perked up. “Oh yeah, did you ever get Bella?”
Dorian tried to hide a smile. “The last date we went on went pretty well. I have
high hopes.”
“Good luck, bro.”
Dorian raised an eyebrow. “And how would you know?”
“Trust me, you spend two and a half months with someone in a foreign country
and you learn a shitload about them.” He shivered. “Including my aunt.”
Dorian laughed. “Dear God, what did you learn?”
Sven shook his head. “You don’t wanna know, man. You don’t wanna know.”
*
*
*
The house was surprisingly quiet when Ariadne and Sven got home.
“Hey bud, after we shower and, y’know, generally not feel bloody and disgusting,
wanna watch a movie?” Ariadne offered.
Sven shrugged. “Depends on the movie.”
“You thinkin’ nostalgic, fuckin’ awesome, or laughable?”
“How nostalgic?”
“I was thinking either The Mask or Dumb and Dumber.”
“I’m up for Dumb and Dumber.”
Ariadne smiled. “Meet me in my bedroom cause even with Jim Carrey, I’m gonna
fall asleep.”
Sven gave a weak smile. “I’ll be there when you pass out in the shower.”
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She glared at him as she ran upstairs. As for Sven, after getting his pajamas on
and sitting on his aunt’s bed for a few boring minutes, he decided take a shower himself.
For the first few minutes in lukewarm water, he didn’t really care. He got all the blood
off and returned to a generally clean feeling. However, when he failed to get his stand-inwarm-water-to-think time, he felt a bit wicked.
He quickly dried off, threw on a new pair of pajamas, and snuck into his aunt’s
bathroom. For reasons unknown to him, she took showers in near pitch black, so it wasn’t
exactly difficult to sneak into her powder room and flush the toilet.
“OH MY GOD HOW OLD ARE YOU? THAT JOKE IS SO TWENTY YEARS
AGO!”
Sven smirked and ran back into her bedroom. Five minutes later, Ariadne
surfaced from her closet, the face of how the hell did I raise this? on her face. Sven
smiled and blew her a kiss as she crawled in next to him.
“I get it from you,” Sven said.
Ariadne sighed. “I would do that…”
They turned on the movie and relaxed for what felt like the first time that day.
“So how’s school?” Ariadne asked, feeling more and more awkward as the words
left her mouth.
He stared at her. “Um…good? I still screw up on those recordings in Spanish.
Honestly, if I don’t pass the oral proficiency test, don’t kill me. Otherwise, chillin’ with
Mr. B and all your other homies is still awkward as hell.”
Ariadne laughed. “I thought they were supposed to be giving you good grades out
of pity. Which one of them isn’t?”
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“Never said they weren’t. Hey, are we gonna go back to Birmingham after
Christmas as per usual?”
Ariadne huffed. “Yup. Gotta overstock on my Passion Flower.”
Sven laughed. “Good luck with that one cause you’d be the person to overdose on
herbal amenities. So uhh, do you like your job?”
Ariadne crinkled her brow. “Why wouldn’t I? I’ve been at the same school for
almost ten years.”
He nodded. “Did you and all your coworkers pick each other cause none of you
are in the same department?”
Ariadne shrugged. “It started off as Zane, Helen, and I. Pat came in after a few
years and Jasper afterwards and obviously Elizabeth is the newest victim.” Sven stared at
her blankly. “Dr. Hunt and Ms. York were first. Then Mr. Conway, then Barnett, then
Miss Wallis. Do I need to say my last name too?”
Sven shook his head. “How do you guys not drive each other insane? Or at least
how do you and Barnett not?”
Ariadne shrugged. “We were all the young teachers and they continue to stick the
young ones with us. I don’t know, we all play pranks on each other at least twice a month
and it’s like group therapy in a really awful TMI way. Dunno, we just all mesh.” She
made a fake crying face. “Did you make any friends yet?”
Sven rolled his eyes. “The freshmen are annoying as hell.”
Ariadne smirked. “How do you think I feel?”
“But whatever. I have enough friends and don’t tell me otherwise.” Sven sighed.
“Aunt Ariadne, I’m sorry.”
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She turned off the TV. “For what? If you say for replacing my soy yogurt with
Greek yogurt it’s okay, I already forgave you for that.”
“No not for your mothereffing yogurt!”
“I was pretty pissed off at you for that.”
“For—for God, ruining your life! I drove you and Corydon apart. I should’ve
never let you not go after him again. I should’ve been nicer to him. I’ve been so selfish,
and I’m sorry for it. I was just so scared that he’d end up being another Rebecca and I
couldn’t stand the thought of losing you. I want you to be happy, Aunt A and I can’t give
you everything that you need to do that. I know that you’d never leave me for him. I’m
sorry that I was so immature. He’s a good guy. I—”
“Sven, it was my decision to break up with Corydon. It’s not your fault.”
“But you won’t swallow your pride, accept your feelings, and try to get him back
because of me. Please Aunt Ariadne, let me lift some of this guilt. Let yourself be
happy.”
She looked away. “I don’t need a man to be happy.”
“I know I’m not supposed to read your texts but you’ve been sexting some dude
named Adam ever since you broke up with Corydon…”
Ariadne gave him a blank look. “Adam and I have been writing an erotic novel
through spontaneous text message for as long as texting has been invented. Please stop
reading those.”
Sven blinked. “So anyway, yes, you do need a man.”
“Would you stop?”
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“How can you have a kid without him?” Ariadne hesitated. “You still love him.
Please, just put me out of our misery and go call him.”
“Look Sven, I’m not gonna call him, okay? Drop it.”
Before Sven could give a comeback, Ariadne’s phoned beeped, having received a
text. “There ya go.”
Ariadne picked up her phone and glanced at the screen. “It’s from Adam, le
genius.”
What’s up?
Ariadne smirked.
Thinkin about you.
Really?
…Inside of me. While I touch myself.
…Oh awkward I actually wanted to talk to you ‘bout something. RT?
RT but thank g-d Sven’s reading over my shoulder.
… why do u torture tht child?
He resents that.
Sure he does…hey u wanna kno who texted me accidentally? Gotta love iPhones!
Who?
…Wait, you don’t know?
?
Nevermind!! I gotta go…uhh…I’ll be ovr at ur place tmo morning ubber early ;)
So you can screw my brains out while tryin to steer me away from the little bitch
that you really are.
374
That’s just cold.
And fake, baby.
Like ur boobs.
Touche.
Ariadne tossed her phone onto the floor. “Adam makes me feel like I’m twelve.
Of course the guy who teaches eighth grade English would make me feel that way.” For a
moment, her eyes widened.
MY BOOBS ARE NOT FAKE YOU BITCH.
Are we really continuing this after the “touché”?
I see how it is. Let’s just add in the accent to make ourselves seem smarter. I bet
you can’t spell anticonstituionnellement.
You just spelled it for me, dumbass
SPELL IT!
Anticlimactic
OH SHIT DOUBLE LOSS.
*anticonstituionnellement…DUCK
hahhahaha …. And it’s fuuuuuucccckkkk
Cocksucker.
Pussylicker. Now if u’ll excuse me, I now must watch Jim Carrey drive through
Aspen on a motorbike.
Sven stared at her. “My friends and I have conversations like that.”
Ariadne nodded. “Like I’ve said multiple times, I can throw my maturity out the
window if I so desire.”
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“You mean take it back when the time calls?”
She glared at him. “Anything else to say?”
He nodded and she groaned. “Why do you teach freshmen if you complain about
them?”
Ariadne sighed. “I liked the innocence of them. I liked how helpless they were.
Now, I know, that sounds perverted, but let me explain. When I was going into the job
world, you know that I was really depressed. I wanted a job that could make me laugh
and see the happier side of life. So I figured that I’d go for the grade where everything is
still dandy but not where you want to bang your head against a wall. With the freshmen,
there’s that mix between kids you can genuinely have a conversation with and those
dumbasses who make you laugh. Plus, just, there’s no colleges to worry about. We can
just work with the material and I get to shape them from middle school readers and
writers into high schoolers. I get to watch them grow up. We get to have fun, even if I do
want to bang my head against a wall sometimes.” She shrugged. “It feels good to know
that they genuinely need you to learn. Dunno.”
*
*
*
With Sven, Dorian, Rose, and Vivienne out in Palos Verdes to watch the sun rise,
Ariadne was given an unusual set amount of time to herself. So yes, that alone time was
technically spent walking in Starbucks at 6:15 am still in pajamas with oversized
sunglasses as her only protection from anyone recognizing her. The barista smiled when
she walked in.
“Spiderman pajama pants and a Star Wars hoodie? Epic.”
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Ariadne smiled. “Try wearing a ‘what would Thénadier do?’ shirt and coloring
your white Vans via the t-shirt design on Rocko’s shirt in Rocko’s Modern Life.”
The barista looked down at her shoes.
“Only one of them has the Rocko image on it.”
Ariadne looked down. “Well look at the idiot who grabbed two different shoes.”
The barista handed Ariadne her drink and food. “Well, the other one does have a
plesiosaur on it.”
Ariadne’s eyes widened. “That’s what it’s called? I’ve been calling it a sea
dinosaur for decades.”
The barista laughed. “Please marry me.”
Ariadne chuckled. “I’ll hit you up tomorrow.”
If it weren’t for that coffee, she probably would’ve been able to drive right into
her garage without noticing Adam sitting on her lawn. Alas, she did manage to recognize
him, her parking in her driveway and getting out greet him.
“Are you seriously here?” she asked as she sipped her coffee.
Adam smiled. “Yupp.”
Ariadne raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
He shrugged. “Wanted to see you.” He looked past her. “Shit, how did you get the
Jag?”
“Rich friends.”
Adam smirked. “So you give him your services?”
“Yup.” Ariadne nearly choked on her coffee. “But not in that way! I help watch
his kids and keep him entertained with my pathetic life.”
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“Oh, sure.”
She lightly punched him. “Hey! You know you’re just snarky cause you’re being
so turned on by me right now.”
He laughed. “Oh God, hell yeah. I mean, come on, who isn’t turned on by
Spiderman pjs and a Star Wars hoodie? Durr.”
Ariadne shrugged. “I know you want to tap me. No reason to deny it.”
“Definitely. I’m gonna have to go masturbate furiously in my car now.”
She nodded. “You do that. And, uh, think of me and you’ll enjoy it way more.”
Adam gave a small smile. “So uh, you should go into your house and I’ll see ya in
church.”
“Church?”
“Like it’s Christmas on Friday?”
“Oh yeah! That! Yeah, totally, see ya then!”
Adam patted her a few times on the back. “Keep it sane, Ariadne. Your nephew
suffers from your idiocy.”
Ariadne managed to stick her tongue out before he was gone. So why did he come
over again? she thought to herself as she pulled into the garage and walked into the
house.
A few seconds inside the house and she knew she wasn’t alone. No, she was far,
far from alone.
“Corydon?”
378
There he was, dark curls haphazardly framing his face, his tan depleted, dark
circles under his eyes to match his irises. He was wearing formal-casual clothing, a black
sweater over a red collared shirt.
She hated to admit it, but he looked really hot.
And she was in Spiderman pajamas and a Star Wars hoodie.
“What the hell are you—?”
Corydon sighed. “Ariadne, I made the biggest mistake of my life when I walked
out your front door. I know that I look like an idiot for doing this and I can’t guarantee
that you’ll even listen to me, but please hear me out. I know—you’re mad about what I
said about you. I get it. If I were you, I’d never talk to me again either. But God—I, I
can’t take this any more. I love you.” Ariadne’s heart leaped out of her chest. “I can’t
spend the rest of my life knowing that I let you go. You mean the world to me. Please
Ariadne, take me back. I should’ve never viewed you for your past or your duties. I
understand it all now.” He shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe his own past actions.
“I know how much Sven means to you and I in no way should’ve ever been trying to
interfere. He’s like a son to you, and I get it. You have to do everything you can to keep
him safe, and my views were making that impossible. I’m sorry for judging you too
quickly.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve never met another girl like you. Your
loyalty humbles me. I—if you gave me a chance, I’d spend the rest of my life trying my
damnedest to make sure that I gave you that same loyalty.”
Ariadne’s thoughts were swimming. “What are you saying?”
She watched in plain shock as he got down on one knee and pulled out a tiny
velvet box.
379
“Ariadne Evans, I am the biggest dumbass to ever walk this earth for letting you
go. Let this be a symbol of my commitment to you. I want to spend every waking second
with you by my side, I want to wake up and see you sleeping next to me until my dying
day. I want you to be the mother of my children, the woman I make love to after our
wedding night. I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you, and no amount of bumps
in the road will ever falter our love. Take it. Share with me one love, one lifetime.”
He opened the box to reveal a silver Solitaire style ring with an iolite gem
encrusted in tiny diamonds.
For a second, Ariadne forgot how to breathe. Wasn’t it two seconds before that
she was talking with Adam? Why the hell did Corydon pick 6:30 am to come beg for her
back? How did she know he was sincere? What was she supposed to say to the ring?
“Corydon, I don’t know what to say…”
His eyes flickered pain. “I didn’t mean to be so forward with you. I’m such an
idiot—I should’ve given you more space. God Ariadne, I’m so sorry.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat and clasped her hands in his. “It’s not that I
decline, it’s just that this is just so sudden. I need time to think. Please Cor, it’s been
rocky lately. I need to make sure that I love you before I accept an offer like that.”
It took him a second to fully nod, recoiling. He put his gaze on the floor as she
shut the box and got back on his feet. Ariadne forced a smile.
“It’s great to see you again, Cor.”
He nodded. “It’s great to see you too. You have no idea how hard it’s been
without you.”
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Ariadne nodded. “Agreed.” She laughed. “Yeah, what with Adam trying to
weasel in as cupid and all.”
Corydon blushed. “You figured it out?”
“Um, well I only figured it out a few seconds ago, but yeah.”
He sighed. “Well, I better be getting home.”
He turned to leave.
When a girl says she needs more time it means that she doesn’t want it. You can’t
leave him hanging like that. He’ll go onto another girl who has the guts to say yes to his
proposal.
Corydon smiled weakly. “I’ll see ya later.”
She smiled back. “Later.”
You’re such a dumbass! What are you doing smiling at him?! You just declined a
marriage proposal! Hell, the only fucking proposal you’ll ever get again!
“You look really cute,” Ariadne complimented.
“Thanks.” He was halfway to the front door.
But how do I know if I really love him or not?
He opened the front door.
You love him! Don’t let him go again!
Right when Ariadne was about to try her failed explanation, she nearly had a heart
attack with her phone vibrating. She pulled it out.
SAY YES, YOU STUPID BITCH. ;)
It was from Sven.
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“Corydon, wait!” He turned around. “Close the door.” He did as told. “I’m never
going to make the same mistake I made last month again. I love you too. You mean the
world to me.” She walked up to him. “Say the word and I’ll follow you.”
He smiled as he tipped her chin up. “Now can we stop quoting ‘All I Ask of You’
long enough for you to give me an answer?”
She smiled back. “Yes. A million times yes.”
Their first kiss as fiancés started off soft and gentle, their lips barely meeting, the
gesture both teasing and loving at the same time. When they pulled away, he slipped the
ring on her finger. Still inches from his face, she looked down at the ring, smiled, and
dove back in for one more kiss. A familiar passion and excitement washed over her as
their kiss instantly went beyond a peck, all of Corydon’s familiar tastes returning. She
wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he lifted her up and spun her around.
He dropped her on the couch and pulled himself on top of her, a lopsided grin on
his face.
“Why do you always buy iced coffee in the morning?” he asked.
She shrugged. “Hot coffee always burns me. Even that crackwhore coffee that I
make at work gets ice in it.”
“You’re such a loser.” He contradicted his statement with a kiss.
“You know, whenever I imagined the day I’d get engaged, my Spiderman
pajamas and a Star Wars hoodie were not part of the deal.”
He laughed. “What’s on under the hoodie?”
“Me not wearing a bra.”
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He chuckled as he pulled the hoodie off, smiling at what he saw. “What would
Thérnadier do right now?”
She smiled. “Steal your wallet. But seriously, I’m so not in romantic clothing.”
“Oh shut up already. You’re beautiful in a dress and makeup and you’re beautiful
in pajamas. Doesn’t mean a thing to me.”
He wiped a tear from her face. “I love you, Corydon.”
“Like I said, I love you too. Say the word and I’ll follow you.”
She smiled. “Even to Christmas festivities with me for the next seven days
starting on Christmas Eve?”
He nodded. “My parents probably won’t be able to get out of Peterborough
anyway, so sure.”
“Will you ice skate with me tonight?”
He laughed. “You don’t need to ask the Canadian twice.”
She looked down at the ring and how perfect it felt on her finger. “This is
beautiful, y’know. Why’d you choose this stone?”
He shrugged. “I wanted something unique for you.”
“God Cor, where have you been all my life?”
He smiled. “I don’t wanna say anything cheesy.”
She nodded. “Now not to be un-cheesy, but you’re kind of in the two most sexual
appealing colors on earth and if you just let down on your distance from me by about a
inch you’d kind of be going down on me and damn, it would be really sexy…”
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He chuckled. “But we’re not going to have sex now, right? I mean, do you really
want the two most significant parts of our relationship marked by you wearing a Star
Wars hoodie?”
She looked down at her hoodie. “I dunno man, I’m starting to think that hoodie’s
gonna get me laid.”
He smiled devilishly. “Yup.”
“So we doin’ it?”
“Like I said, you want the image of Darth Maul in your head every time we have
sex?”
Ariadne pushed herself into the couch. “Yeah, let’s wait…Like, mixing Star Wars
and sex is like mixing coffee, Red Bull, and Pixie Stix. You’ll probably end up passed
out on the hood of your car after the school CIF volleyball game.”
He laughed. “God, what did I do without your weird ass humor?”
She shrugged. “Were uncontrollably depressed.”
*
*
*
Ariadne was laughing at a text message by the time Sven returned home.
“What’s up?” he asked.
She smiled. “Jasper’s still just as idiotic as ever.”
I was reading on the floor and my phone vibrated and fell on my face!!! YOUR
ENGAGEMENT CAUSED ME A BROKEN FACE.
Sven raised an eyebrow. “We kids call that a derp.” Unexpectedly, Sven grabbed
his aunt’s hand. “Damn, no diamonds? You should get a refund.”
She smiled. “It’s crusted in diamonds.”
384
They managed to stand awkwardly for a few more seconds before she put him in
a hug.
“You excited?” Sven asked.
“I just…I never thought I’d ever be allowed to be this happy again…”
He smiled. “You deserve to love again. Embrace it.”
She shook her head. “How did I get stuck with such a perfect nephew?”
He shrugged. “Well, I am pretty great. So, how did Celio Karimloo propose?”
She gave him a blank face. “Who?”
“Your fiancé?”
For a second, Ariadne still seemed blank. “Yeah, that guy…uh, well he was sweet
and old fashioned, but I was kind of in Spiderman pjs and a Darth Maul hoodie so…”
“The one where if you zip up the face it’s Darth Maul?”
“Yeah, that one.”
Sven stifled laughter. “That sucks so much.”
“Shut up! Who proposes to a woman at 6:15 in the morning?”
Sven looked away. “Clearly, yo fiancé would…”
She ruffled his hair. “Thanks.”
“No prob. Will you get mad at me if I quote ‘Valjean’s Death?’”
“Yes.”
For once, Sven stayed silent.
385
Chapter 30
And Here’s to Many More
The grass was green and rolling with the wind when Rose and Crowe visited
Bianca’s grave on Christmas morning. They placed a wreath and a new bouquet of
flowers beside her tombstone. Rose glanced around; they weren’t the only ones paying
respect to their loved ones and she wasn’t sure whether to be comforted or uncomfortable
by the people.
“Merry Christmas, Bianca. I don’t know how Rosie and I are going to get through
it without you, but we’ll try.” He chuckled. “I feel like I can hear you now. You’d be
telling me to stop being such a sissy and enjoy myself. You’d tell me how uptight I am
and how I deserve the ulcers.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re right, and we
both know that. But hey, I think I’ll be okay.” He swallowed. “Please don’t be mad at us,
Bi. I know that I went back on my promise, but I promise that it wasn’t for the same
reasons as it was back in the day. Rose is safe now, still keeping up with her grades.
You’d be proud of her if you could see her now.” He smiled as he glanced back at his
daughter. “She’s going to be a fine young woman some day, baby. I can’t wait to come
here and tell you about how she graduated high school and got into some Ivy League.
She’s going to be successful, I can tell. I love you, Bianca, and I always will. Tell Mattie
and Mom and Dad that I love them and to have a Merry Christmas. Lucky bastards
actually get to spend it with Jesus.”
He laughed to himself as he let Rose have her alone time.
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She turned herself around so her back was leaning against her mother’s grave, her
legs pretzel style. She didn’t want to keep thinking of her mother as a rock with some
words on it; she wanted to think of her as an angel beyond the sky.
“So it’s over. All this pain and guilt and confusion from this stupid statue job is
gone. I’m sorry that I disappointed you. I know that I shouldn’t have done it. I know that
it was bad and that you would be frustrated with me right now. I truly didn’t mean to hurt
you. I want to be good. I want to be like you. Are you proud of me? Can you look beyond
the thieves’ blood that runs through my veins? What would you say to me right now? I’m
so…I thought I was getting better, that this would all end with the job, but it hasn’t. God
Mom, why can’t you be here? I miss you and need you so much.” She tried swallowing
the lump in her throat. “I love you, Mom. But I don’t get it…I don’t get what I did
wrong. Why did you die? I don’t think I deserved it. Did I? Did Dad and I deserve to lose
you? Dad’s lost so many people. Is he really the bad one here? Am I just a slave to him?
Who am I, Mom?”
She shivered as a hand fell on her shoulder. She took one last breath before
getting back on her feet and walking to the car.
“Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Calcutta back in the day?”
“When it was called Calcutta?”
Crowe rolled his eyes. “Well, first it wasn’t Calcutta, it was Allahabad. Have you
studied Ashoka’s Pillars?” She shook her head. “He was a ruler during the Maurya
Empire of India in the third century BC. He was originally known as a brutal young
warrior, a man who was willing to kill over 100,000 citizens in order to expand his
empire. But, a few days after the war, he stared across the expanse of the sick and the
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dying and it changed him. He realized that there’s no victory in war. He was so disgusted
with himself and desperate for atonement that he converted to Buddhism and adapted an
entire mindset around world peace, a mindset that was one of the first of his world. He
erected pillars all across India with the Dharma sculpted into the stone. He preached nonviolence across the reaches of that world’s globes, gave off the first animal rights laws,
and was one of the most religiously tolerant leaders in India’s history. He started off by
heading an attack that killed 100,000 innocent people.”
“I appreciate your anecdotes as much as the next person, but why are you telling
me this?”
Crowe put his hand over his daughter’s. “I’m worried about you. You haven’t
been yourself lately.”
“What do you expect?”
He hated hearing her when she was curt. “I should be being more sensitive to how
you’ve been adjusting to learning about my past. I get it, Rose; this is hard for you. Hell, I
should be worried if it wasn’t. It’s normal for you to question yourself, your loyalties, and
your morals. But I need you to understand that being a Crowe doesn’t make you a bad
person by default. By agreeing to help my crazy schemes doesn’t make you a bad person.
I understand, what we do is illegal. In the eyes of most people, what we do makes us bad.
But please, you have to understand that you aren’t just bad and stay that way. Look at
Ariadne: she took seven years of being an unpaid whore and has changed that into a drive
to become virtuous again. People can take years of sin and turn it into something good. In
fact, I think the best people in this world have had to go through a major change in
perspective to truly be able to say what’s right and wrong in life. Don’t push this part of
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your life into a slot of guilt. I’ve watched you grow because of what you’ve done. You’ve
gotten stronger, you’ve learned about pressure and loyalty. I understand that it was
certainly not the most ideal way for anyone to learn those lessons. I’m sorry that I put you
through this not only once, but twice. But please Rose, don’t put yourself down. You’re
an amazing person and nothing that has happened over the past several months has done
anything but highlighted that.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to be a criminal, Dad. So why did I find it
pulling me in back in November?”
Crowe took a deep breath. “It runs through our blood, hun.”
She kept shaking her head. “I won’t believe that. A name doesn’t make the
person, Dad. It was me who decided to rob that house, not my last name.”
Crowe frowned. “I hate to bring your mother into this…”
“No. No. I’m not—I’m not doing this because of her—”
“Rose, look at yourself. This is your drinking yourself stupid every night, this is
your anti-depressants, this is your self medication. You turned to crime and the
adrenaline rush as a haven from living life without your mom. If you just keep playing in
the limbo that was before she died, then maybe you can convince yourself that she’s not
really dead. That you never really left Paris and that you’ll one day wake up and be able
to walk off the plane and into her arms.” He wiped his eyes. “I know, Rose. I know.
Home has always been such a foreign word to me. I lost my brother, parents, and wife at
home. For years, I believed that nothing bad ever happened when I wasn’t at home. I
understand your need to get away. But please Rose, you have to acknowledge this. Say it
with me. Say ‘I can’t accept that my mother’s dead.’ Now.”
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“I can’t—”
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t accept that my mother’s dead.”
“ ‘I know this is a problem.”
“I know that this is a problem.”
“‘She’s dead. Her name was Bianca Crowe and she died on August 26, 2011. She
was shot in the back during a robbery.’”
Rose swallowed. “She’s dead. Her name was Bianca Crowe and she died on
August 26, 2011. She was shot in the back during a robbery.” She waited for her dad to
keep talking, but his lips were sealed. She sighed. “I know she’s dead, and I know that I
have to keep going. I know that I’m home and that I have to keep living. I can’t pretend
that she’s still alive, no matter how much less painful it is.” She clasped her hand around
her dad’s. “Were you sad when your parents were killed? You never talk about it.”
“I was so focused on Mattie and the foster care that I didn’t give myself time to
mourn them. Sometimes, when I look at their graves, I start to realize how little a
relationship we really had. It makes me feel empty sometimes, but it’s why I try so hard
to be a good father to you. I want you to be able to remember something about us when I
die.”
She nodded. “I love you, Dad. I appreciate all that you’ve done.”
He smiled. “C’mon, let’s get home. I really don’t want to know what Ariadne’s
done to my house.”
*
*
*
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Crowe wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or worry for his friend when he came
home to find Ariadne’s odd mix of Christmas music mixed with her in a subtly
provocative red sweater making out with Corydon, a guy he’d never seen before playing
cards with Sven, both of them in black light up snowman sweater vests.
“Now I don’t know if this is some kind of Alabama tradition, but what the hell is
going on, starting with what’s playing?” Crowe said.
Ariadne put her finger out in a one minute gesture, causing the man with Sven to
roll his eyes.
“‘Jingle Bell Rock’ sung by Alfie Boe. Yup, Ari’s a freak, same as always. Adam,
by the way.”
He got up and shook Crowe’s hand. Although both Rose and Logan couldn’t keep
their eyes off Adam, Rose was the only one who was willing to hit the nail on the head
and run with it.
“I hate to be stupidly blunt here, but you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever
seen,” Rose said.
Adam grinned. “Thank you. Gets me a lot of chicks.”
He winked at Ariadne, who rolled her eyes. “He’s lying.”
Adam snorted. “You know I’m hotter than Corydon.” Adam glanced at Crowe for
a moment. “Damn, you have higher cheekbones than me.”
Crowe stared blankly at Adam. “I am so lost right now.”
Although Ariadne wasn’t kissing Corydon anymore, her smug smile was making
Crowe feel even less uncomfortable. “Logan, you do realize that Adam is FTM, right?”
“Wait. You’re saying that I have higher cheekbones then a woman?!”
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Adam nodded. “In theory.”
“Where’s Dorian?”
Ariadne rolled her eyes. “Said he refuses to accept that it’s Christmas until the sun
shines on his face.”
“I told them to flash a flashlight in his face, but they won’t do it,” Adam offered.
Crowe rolled his eyes. “I’ll go get him. Sven, Rose, why don’t you go get the
presents ready?”
After the ten minutes it took Crowe to literally drag Dorian out of bed, all the
presents were neatly organized by person.
“Alright Logie Bear, you better open mine first,” Ariadne said as she tossed him a
box.
When he took off the wrapping, it turned out to be a gift basket. He stifled a
chuckle and examined the contents.
“God Ariadne, what’s in here?”
“A Chambriard Compact Rosewood pocket knife, a leather wallet I bought in
Rome cause I lost your other one, a bottle of champagne, a bag of decorative marbles,
and a bear I made at Build-A-Bear with a DILF shirt on.”
He pulled out the bear and laughed. “Why is it holding a Blizzard?”
“Cause we bought Blizzards after Mattie almost killed us by pulling over halfway
into an intersection to take pictures of goats in order to calm the shock. And cause I’m
pretty sure cookie dough is your favorite ice cream that you and Mattie always rubbed in
my face.”
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Crowe nodded and motioned toward Sven. He smiled and tossed a present to
Rose.
“I bet it’s exactly what you wanted.”
Rose ripped off the paper and started laughing. “Hell yeah it is,” she said holding
up zebra Pillow Pet. “Now open mine.”
Sven was handed his present. “Ohmigod, it’s Splashy Whale! I love you, baby!”
Adam glanced between the teens. “You guys bought each other Pillow Pets?”
“Yeah, hey Aunt Ariadne, open mine!”
Ariadne pulled the present from Sven out of the pile. “You would know that I’d
totally wear this.” He’d bought her a Chewbacca backpack.
“There’s something else in there.”
She pulled out what turned out to a designer watch, a white silicon strap around a
36 mm diameter face colored with a red outer ring that gradually faded to a pale yelloworange in the middle.
“How did you afford this?”
“Truth be told, it was supposed to be marked off to two hundred, but they
accidentally marked it down to fifty so I took the deal.”
She smiled and gave him a hug anyway. Crowe pulled out two presents and
handed them to Rose and Ariadne.
Rose was given magnetic book ends in the shape of red arrows and a decorative
pillow with the quote “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments
of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy –
Martin Luther King”
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“This means a lot, Dad. Thanks,” she said as she gave him a hug.
Ariadne raised her eyebrows higher and higher as she pulled things out. A red
scarf. A toy goat. Kitchen timer in the shape of an egg. A jewelry tree in the shape of an
actual tree. A leather-bound edition of Jurassic Park and The Lost World.
“The rest of the gift is inside the book, but I’ll know if you read to that page or
not.”
Ariadne smiled. “Thanks, although I can’t say I appreciate the goat joke.”
Crowe tossed Dorian a box. “Oh, and here ya go, Aussie.”
“Damn man, way to be dramatic.” He opened the box. “Thanks for the Rolex!”
As for Corydon and Adam, Crowe offered them some money, and Adam accepted
it, claiming to be on a poor teacher’s salary.
After an early dinner with everyone out around the fireplace, Crowe couldn’t stop
switching his gaze between Corydon and Ariadne and his own wedding ring. Without
even realizing it, he started walking upstairs.
Maybe it’s time I put my ring with Bianca’s.
Crowe studied his ring as he walked. It wasn’t anything really fancy, just a black
tungsten ring with L&B engraved inside. He could still clearly see her ring in his head:
the silver band that formed a vine shape around a princess cut diamond, a small cut of
tanzanite on each side, and the same L&B engraved on the inside.
“LOGAN!”
Crowe was inches from reaching into his wife’s jewelry drawer when Ariadne
called out to him.
“WHAT?”
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“GET DOWN HERE BEFORE ADAM CONVINCES CORYDON NOT TO
MARRY ME!”
Crowe shook his head and walked down to Adam on top of Ariadne via tackle
move, Adam just about to hand Corydon Ariadne’s phone.
“Corydon, if you break off this engagement, everyone who has to deal with her
crying will kill you with a spoon,” Crowe said, sitting down next to Adam and Ariadne.
Corydon nodded. “It’d take a helluva a lot more than Adam’s porn texts to do
that.”
“Aww, you’re so sweet,” Ariadne cooed. She smirked. “Do my texts turn you
on?”
He laughed. “Yes.”
Ariadne licked her lips as Adam got off her. “Now Ari, you don’t want me to add
you to our list of dumbasses who have pre marital sex on Jesus’s birthday.”
She crawled back onto Corydon’s lap and whispered in his ear. “Damn, we’re
going to have to have our wedding soon. I don’t know how much longer I stand you not
inside of me.”
“You know everyone can hear you!” Adam called out.
“Well yeah, if you’re listening.”
Sven and Rose decided then would be a nice time to leave the adults to their adult
talk.
“I actually have another present for you,” Sven said as they sat on Rose’s bed.
Rose leaned over and kissed him. “What?”
He took a deep breath. “Ma chérie, je t’aime.”
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She put him in a tight hug. “Je t’aime aussi.”
He chuckled. “I…don’t know what that means.”
She pecked his check. “Good, cause I’m not gonna translate.”