LOT`S - Monash University Research Repository
Transcription
LOT`S - Monash University Research Repository
© Monash Student Association (Clayton) Incorporated (MSA). Lot’s Wife is published on behalf of MSA. All enquiries about the reproduction and communication of material from Lot’s Wife should be directed to MSA. The Road Ahead.. 5 OCT 1996 ^^ VA ^2 n.-^r . Arts Faculty Road Closed r \Vocational Degrees \ Federal Election f Student Politics Keep Left EDUCATION TOLLWAY Course Cuts Staff Cuts Means Test Federal VSU LOT'S P L U M E XKXVIII EDITION 7 print post approved pp338685/00006 ^\ LOT'S •» Trx i e e d i t i a n # 6 , 199J3 •jreen ITeek S p e c i a l ?h: (03) 99'^i^ 3 i n 3 ?ax: C'^3) 99^5 Uin5 ^ v e r t i s i n e : (^l^) 99^5 31<'32 CREDITS Editors Sub-Editors Dan Celm Michelle Davies Chris King VISUAL ARTS: Asha Holmes NEWS: Advertising JenCas Kathryn James Daniel Celm Typesetting ENTERTAINMENT: Tarnsin Molesworth Claire Hammond The Crew: CONTENTS N a t e i The rirsthalfofthepaperisnon-CAF(Compulsory Amenities Fee) funded and contains material at the editors' discretion. The seconc half of the paper is CAF funded and subject to the VSU legislation. In the Non-GA? half: News In Briefs You Can't Miss It Education Section Mandatory Sentencing The Wizard of Oxley Male Domination: Clinton's Affair Steven Jolly Interview page 7 page 10 page 17 page 22 page 23 page 24 In the Gil? half: 28. 30. 33. 34. 36. 43. 44. Travel Section: Tips, Chips and Whips The Net: How far is too far? Violetine Interview Glynn Nicholas Interview Reviews, Reviews, Reviews, Reviews Bundaberg Rum Footy Tipping Troutman Plus': Munch Me, Bundaberg Photo Page, Letters, MSA Reports, Top Ten, Cartoons, Lot's On, Quizzes, Prizes, Idol Gossip, No 'From the Bar Room Floor', No 'Activities Report', and No wonder Pender's single. PERFORMING ARTS: Megan Pearson VOLUNTEKR COORDINATOR I Emma Hunt A multitude of lervely people braved the icy temperatures of Melbourne and the freezing climate of our office: Alyssa, Beau Zlatcovic, Kanella Giannakakis, Andrew Saunders, Will Fowles(too noisy), Slatts, Ozan , Ada, Ash Ford, Sophie Bryant, Darby, Jeremy, Dave McLay, Simon "Baywatch" Cooke, Dean Harrigan, Aaron, Spud Ryan, Ben and Macca at the bar who kept up our spirits and, of course, our resident cartoonist, Duncan Yardly (although he did give stuff to Farrago), p.s. We're really sorry Jacy, and we love you heaps. Music: Andrew James Anthony Brasher Luke Oliver SPORT: Marc Jongebloed Richard Johnson INFO TECH; Ronny Liew Keith Kendall Leslie Liew Publication Schedule Semester Trro Editions? Theme Articles Deadline Letters Deadline Production Week Distribution Date Monday July 13 Wednesday July 15 Moil - l l i u July 20-23 Wednesday July Z") Monday August 10 Wednesday August 12 Mon - T h u AuKiist 17-20 Wednesday August 26 Munday August 3) Wednesday September I Mon - T h u September 7-10 WedncMlay September 16 Monday September 21 Wednesday September 23 Mon - T h u Sept 2 8 - O c t I Wednesday October 7 CREATIVE WRITING: Editorial Policy hit's Wife Joes not publish iiny materi.-]! that is sexist, racist. homophobic or militaristic. We also don't pubUsh stuff that is crap, so stop submitting it (you Icnow who you aret). If you are going to submit stuff that is crap don't bother However, if you're going to submit good stuff, please give it to us on disk in Word 6 0 formal. If you havearoblcm with your article being cut. call the VC and ask for a budget increase. Otherwise fuck off back to Admin While we're here. Dan would like to personally apologise for any misbehaviour. After all, he can't be held 10 blame. Vic Stubbies were only two bucks. Any use of llie ' c ' word is to be forgotten, as is the fact that he spat on the Info Desk (sorry Beau). ivw!v Wife is published by our mates at Wcsternport Printing, who don't lake Dan's crap. Helena Sverdlin Kobi Leins INTERNET: Oliver Daly 6 Taek FooTY TIPPER: Jacy Cullum iCdUBsblUIMV^a page. Jreen iF Funded ailpha L o t ' s letten to the editorj ^ '*•'•.jv»^' Dom Looks Like A DIckl The Menzles Munchkins Obsessed with Iron Fish I'm Sick Of ttie'Whole' Fucking Thing Dear Lot's, Dear Lot's, Dear Lot's, Dear Lot's, I'm annoyed. Irritated. But at least I'm notafuckwit. This is directed specifically to Dom, who noted insightfully from his soapbox in the last issue, that Kobi Leins 'blatantly plagiarised' Jeff Buckley. I suppose then, that this 'far superior' artist is exempt from your ill-directed scrutineering. Any wanker who even read the inside of the album cover would be aware of the fact that the whole fucking song is a cover of Leonard Cohen. But then, I don't imagine that you'd even heard of Jeff Buckley before the poor bastard drowned himself in a drunken stupor. I write to bring everyone's attention to an alarming incursion into the University precinct over the semester break. It would appear that a bunch of rogue munchkins, still suffering the affects of overdosing on helium during the filming of The Wizard of Oz, have broken into the Menzies building and proceeded to exert their own unique brand of interior decoration. Responding to Obsessed (Ed #5): Poor Melanie McGrath; the Gremlins certainly got into her article 'The Whole Feud - the perspective of: the MSA' (Lot's Edition 6). I would suggest that, in future, before you unleash a withering barrage of derisive insults upon someone with at least a measure of creative ability, you should first ask yourself, 'Am I a complete tosser, and does anyone care about what I erroneously pontificate?' Your crappy letter has no place in this fine publication. The lift doors have taken on a lovely shade of brothel pink and the escalators a bright, turquoise-esque green. The pink has even made it as far as the first and end walls of the corridors, no doubt inducing feelings of deja vu in many commerce lecturers. What will we see next? Mirrors on the ceiling? Mushroom shaped poofs? Why not psychedelic wallpaper and tinted windows? Please darling building services people, refrain from tripping before designing Menzies colour schemes - and stick to mute tones in future. Cot Arts/Eng I Dear Lot's, I'm sure that alongside this letter is a lot of strongly vi/orded correspondence reminding me that "Hallelujah" is not by Jeff Buckley, but Leonard Cohen. To these people I say - 'I am a dickhead'. Blinded by indignation, I wrote my last letter attacking Kobi Leins' crappy poem with the most famous manifestation of the song in mind. Having realised my mistake later on, I lunged towards the office of Lot's Wife screaming "Nooo!!!..." like one of those slow-motion ads for Workcover or electricity or... anyway it was too late - being published the first time was punishment enough. So, if you want to get technical, Jeff Buckley is a rip-off artist too. But Kobi, you've got a long way to go before you rip-off as well as he does. Will Fowles Negative Inflation = Higher Catering Prices I am touched (not to mention fully engorged) by your admiration. We must get together some time. Maybe we could throw some rocks at pensioners? Or even stuff a Wilderness Society koala full of gum leaves and then force him to perform demeaning acts in front of Japanese tourists? The possibilities are endless. Just don't expect much from my magic hands - they're not quite the same after a bizarre "bucketing" accident left me permanently impaired. In trembling anticipation, The Iron Fish Dear Lot's, Recently students may have received theif HECS statement and noticed that the government reduced their HECS debt due to negative inflation. When returning to Uni after the Holidays I was therefore dismayed to find that the prices of just about all items on sale in the Union Building had mysteriously increased. It puzzles me why the shops in the Union Building need to charge like a milk bar when they operate like a supermarket. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that they run a monopoly. I challenge students not to buy food from these shops and instead bring your own, until they stop taking advantage of lazy students who rely on these food outlets for nourishment (if you'd call it that). Dom Arts/Law 2 Non-CAF Funded page 4 Who are you, where are you, how can I find you? At last, after so many months of being written off as a borderline paranoid schizophrenic by friends, colleagues and fellow public transport users, I can rejoice in the fact that I am officially being stalked! Oh, Obsessed, how I have sensed your presence in the last few weeks! Now it all makes sense! Those small, masticated pieces of fried chicken I've been receiving in the mail, the mysterious barking sounds emanating from the microwave, the giant Lego garden gnome that keeps following me... To be honest, for awhile I thought I was losing it, but now I realize it was just a fan trying to make contact! Non-CAF Funded Consumer WatchDog Firstly, they preceded her relatively wellwritten and informative discussion with a couple of paragraphs containing childish and inaccurate mockery of the Wholefoods Collective and of the 1100 students who signed the petition. Secondly, they removed mention of the underhand way last November, when few students were on campus or aware of the machinations, the MSB unilaterally repealed Wholefoods' constitution, abolishing the Collective and its ideal of 'food for people - not tor profit'. Thirdly, they removed references to the MSA's financially disastrous recent management of Wholefoods as hastily recruited employees have struggled valiantly to plug gaps left by absent volunteers. Last semester's wage blowout caused Wholefoods to lose over $20,000, compared with a small surplus in 1997, despite Wholefoods' cafe being closed for renovations for part of the year. Maybe next Lot's will contain a revised version of Melanie's article, free of the annoying omissions and errors which made her last article so disappointing. Yours optimistically, Phil Crohn Wholefoods IV Dear Lot's, Dear Lot's, What has happened to the Iron Fish? I was very disappointed when your last edition failed to include an article by him. I was so looking forward to reading a piece of his work, particularly after the long holiday break, However, I was able to take some very seductive photos of him during his visit to the library last week (I just love the way he puts his photocopy card into the machine!). Please get him to write something soon as I am suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Still Obsessed P.S. The first meeting for the Iron Fish fan club is on Saturday 29th August at St Kilda McDonalds, 6:30pm sharp. Up.until now I've preferred not to engage in the propaganda war over Wholefoods. But now it's gone far enough. Every day a new student tells me that the Friends of Wholefoods are making announcements in lectures claiming that the solicitor who advised the MSA is corrupt and should be deregistered. This is outrageous and defamatory in the extreme. For the record, our solicitor specialises in student associations and does legal work for many of the students associations in Victoria. He was involved in setting up the Melbourne Food Coop and is the second most senior lawyer in Victoria in law as it relates to student associations. lk<MiM!ddMlil^[J«l Time c f your life, huh, ki<d? MPA: Here to Stay windscreen Wankers People have the right to campaign for what they believe in, and I can tolerate the constant attacks on my integrity and commitment to, but it is completely unacceptable to attack the professionalism and integrity of our lawyer simply because you didn't like his advice. Friends of Wholefoods, you might be fighting for a principle, but that doesn't mean you can fight without any principles. Please try and draw the line somewhere. Melanie McGrath Education Vice-President IMonash Student Association Dear Lot's, As I was walking to a table In the Wholefoods Restaurant, I was confronted by two pinboards covered with enlarged, graphic photographs incorporating women's genitalia, binding, blood, rape by soldiers and wounds resulting form torture. I do not feel that the people who displayed the photos can have had much consideration of the damaging effect they would have. That the photos were overtly positioned where people go to eat food and socialise and that there were no warnings about the photos are but two indications of this. There are many students at Monash University for whom exposure to such images calls up deep-seated emotional reactions. For me, dealing with these normally manageable feelings is unutterably painful and disruptive of my life. I firmly believe that pictures portraying the violation of any human being and the objectiflcation of women serve no purpose in furthering any cause. In fact, it causes a great deal of harm. I guess that the pictures were taken in East Timor and it goes without saying that I fully support the plight of these people. I know, however, that it is possible to portray an idea of the atrocities that occur In that country in different ways. A constructive outcome would be that exhibits in the Wholefoods Restaurant be subject to the same or similar process of veto that apply to Monash Student Association displays. Lisa Hurburgh Dear Lot's, Why is it that people insist on desecrating pristine windscreens with needless collections of ancient blue parking permits? Is the number of parking permits an indication of the driver's penis size? Are they making fun of the poor buggers in Free-parking? Is it a painful reminder of how many years you've been battling away at your degree? Or is it some dismal attempt by severely insecure individuals to gain respect and status amongst peers? I think the latter! As I started uni, I believed there might be some top secret reason for the bizarre aggregations. In second year, they just pissed me off. Now I realise that these people have serious problems with their self-esteem. The year Is 1998 and funnily enough you only need a 1998 Parking Permit. So next time your sitting at a red light and notice a multitude of Blue Parking Permits on the windscreen, lean over and rip them off... even If it's not your windscreen. Trust me, it's really not that %@&#ing hard to pull a little plastic square off the glass! Alex BSc(Env) 3 Dear lof's, Dear lof's, Come amenities council time, we could have the Monash Student Association arguing with the Monash Postgraduate Association over our prospective shares of students' fees. The act of breaking away could also place considerable financial pressure on the Monash Student Association, as the postgraduate students compete for funds with the MSA. I was disappointed to read the rundown of a division's attempt to break from the student union on campus In the latest issue of the H/lonash Postgraduate Association Newsletter. 1 am concerned that the post-grads leaving of the Lachlan Simpson Monash Student Association could lay Eternal first year us at peril of becoming a divided force, easily manipulated by the Vice-Chancellor. I thought Chris' editorial in edition six was great. This is what student life is all about! I don't know why people always criticise Green Week. No one physically forces anyone to drink. But most importantly it Is a week in which everyone can relax and forget the stresses of study I know for one, I really enjoy being a part of a team. All throughout school I was hopeless at sport, and consequently wasn't ever in the sporting teams. Green Week gives me an opportunity to get involved, join a team and have fun! And yes, Chris is right university is a unique place, a sort of sheltered world that allows you to be slightly irresponsible and frivolous every once In a while. Green (Plss)W9ak l>Ar Green I believe all Post-Graduate students should ask why their division is seeking to break from the Monash Student Association and examine the justifications given. By remaining united, the Monash Student Association can claim to speak for all students on campus and fight on behalf of students as a united force. United we stand, Divided we fall. Fergus Vial Dear Lot's, I don't like Green Week. But I can deal with the fact that some people do. As far as I am concerned, there is no reason why the bureaucrats-in-training should have a monopoly on the rorting of student funds. What bothers me Is the attitude expressed in last editions' editorial. "Green Week is one of the most important dates on the university calendar, because It is one of the last times university students will get the chance to be truly immature. These are people that will soon have to enter the real world...". Hate to be the one to break it to you, but this Is the real world. If you continue to live, act, think and feel vicariously through the crap that Hollywood, Sony, the Herald Sun, Coke, Calvin Klein, and big business in general spit out contemptuously at you, your real world will be boring and dull. UMA«bMd He never said. 'Play i t again, Sam." Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying don't be immature, just don't use It as an excuse for Green Week. If you choose to be boring after graduation, don't take it out on us now. Don't make this your last hurrah. Take control. Life is not a rehearsal. Non-CAh f-unded pages MUFSO Smells Fishy Dearest Lot's, Interested to see MUFSO putting its name to the Arts Stopwork forum? Perhaps less well known is that the MUFSO Monash Student Plan (MSP) is prefaced with the words "Monash University led the way in devising their own strategic plan. Leading The Way: The Monash Plarf; refers to students as "consumers" at least three times; and has "matched [student organisations] objectives to the universities own objectives". But wasn't the MUFSO Arts Forum explicitly opposed to the Monash Plan? Student representatives assure us that MUFSO is engaging in this double-talk with a view to strengthening and protecting our student organisations, that the MSP was deliberately kept secret prior to its ratification at Uni Council for "strategic" purposes. Fuck! Is it too much to expect the MSA to tell it like it is, leaving the lies, the secrets and the closed-door strategies to the Vice-Chancellor? Small wonder that students are disillusioned with the MSA when our representatives seem to place more emphasis on what the ViceChancellor thinks, than what students do. our motto to "Australia's Travelator University". Surely this provides much better selling power to students overseas? Lazy slobs like me need our luxuries, and this is one that all at Monash deserve. The time is nigh to join in the chorus and lobby to bring travelators to our great university. I can assure every student they will not be disappointed. There will be no regrets. Travelators....the eighth great wonder of the world! Anon Walker Inaugural President - Monash Students for Travelators USA Fears VcinBasten Dear Lot's, Just thought I'd say 'hi' to Michael Sterling (God Bless America Edition 6) who was sufficiently offended by my 150 word 'Tool of the Week' to write a full page rant in response. My apologies to any proud citizens of the United States who were similarly offended, but Sweetie - if a single country is going to, somewhat hypocritically, anoint itself the heart of freedom and the super power of the world, it has to expect a bit of shit in retum. Kanela If you want to find out the official story, contact MSA - but remember, you'll only get as much information as is Strategically sound. Adam Robb ARTS 3 Kids: Don't Take Drugs Dear Lot's, I am a lazy slob. I'm proud to admit it and don't take offence when people call me that. It is this laziness which provokes me to make an all-out call: Monash University needs travelators great big moving footpaths for the uninitiated. Imagine what a whole network of travelators could do for Monash and it's students. We could get anywhere in the uni without hardly having to take a step. Vice Chancellor Robinson get your head out of the sand and realise that travelators are the way of the future and the key to the survival of this university. There is even the possibility of changing IJMJfJJJIUBHSl page 6 President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, what can I say? So she sucked him off, who cares? In a thorough examination of the Clinton administration I'm sure it would be discovered that she's not the first. Paula Jones. Jennifer Flowers. Do these names ring bells? The point is, this is not Watergate, It in no way comes close to the absolute abuse of power that Nixon and his men created. "Plumbers", theft, spying, breaking and entering. Versus whaf? A stained dress, a definitional debate on the meaning of a "sexual relationship", the embarrassment of the world's most powerful man. Kenneth Starr can push the "I'm out for truth and justice" angle as much as he likes, but the fact of the matter is, he is a man out for personal glory. Clinton perjured himself, he didn't attempt to scuttle the election hopes qf his opposition party by breaking into their offices, he's not Nixon. So to begin with, let's ease off that one. Secondly, the question has arisen can the private and official lives of the president be separated? It's an irrelevant question because the crux of the matter is this. Are you bringing down the most successful President since Johnson because he lied to the American people, or, are you destroying a philandering bastard because he failed to live up to his presidential image a as role model? Perhaps some interesting questions. Either way, what, exactly, does this have to do with Australia? • Chris There are a few words that are getting thrown around a lot these days. One which comes to mind is *Un-Australian". Johnny Howard uses it, Pauline Hanson uses it, and Kim Beazley eats it. Effectively it's a convenient term to try and dismiss anyone who doesn't subscribe to your point of view on an issue in federal politics. With the Monash Student elections approaching there is another term being bandied around a lot: "Representation". Apparently the MSA are not living up to it, the Wholefoods collective are defying it, and your humble i-of's Wife editors are ignoring it. No matter who you speak to, they will tell you that the people from the opposite political spectrum are not adhering to the ideal of "representation". Why? Effectively, because the person who throws around the accusation is not having their own point of view represented. So, an instant Morgan-Gallop poll goes off in their head, and they vehemently claim that "students are not being represented". Well guess what folks. If students were being truly represented, there would be no one arguing for anything. Why? Because a majority of students don't give a rat's arse about your pathetic little viewpoints on obscure, idealistic, crap issues. That's why there are 25,000 students at Monash and only 2,000 that care about who their student "representatives" are. Have a nice election week kiddies! The Name Game Dan Dear Lot's, I thought you might find this bit of trivia interesting. I am an Engineering student, and if you take all the letters in my name and re-arrange them, it spells 'Engineering student!' Greg Dinnestuntengie Eng III P.S. My friend Bessie Sundsutt is a business student and Dan Twutels and Dan Wetslut are law students. It is with great pleasure that we present to you our Education edition. Please read it. It affects you. More finance cuts are re-shaping Monash courses. The University's focus on vocational degrees, to the exclusion of academic 'general' degrees like arts and science, cannot be ignored. Some food for thought... If the proposed staff, finance and course cuts go ahead, you will find yourself in overcrowded tutes (if any), with far less subjects to choose from. Do you want to pay for a sub-standard education? The recent Arts Review Blueprint Document sets out proposals to cull the Arts Faculty and combine the remaining departments. For example, politics, women's studies, anthropology and sociology may be amalgamated into one 'School of Political and Social Enquiry.' Political and Social Enquiry? Hello??? What a bunch of arse. Dear Lot's, If you think that's good, beat this! My name, re-arranged, spells Computing and Information Technology Student. Norman-Pete Yogi Dunnyshitfatlongcondomcuntundi P.S. My friend Mite D'Nude-lnsect is a medicine student. I am an arts student and I am bloody proud to be one. Arts courses cultivate skills in: lateral thinking, critical analysis, confident expression and an understanding of society, all of which are essential for communication and any employment area. As arts degrees are increasingly losing favour with (stupid) employers, law is supposedly emerging as the new 'general degree'. Wow, a five year course that inspires selfdoubt, rote learning and fierce competition - that's the kind of general education this society needs! Michelle Letters Policy: Keep them poigniant or funny and to the point. Also keep them under 200 Don't forget that everything in the first half of the paper is material that the State words. This will be enforced with more rigidity government is trying to censor- which is all the more reason to read it. than Chris' starched undies. i-CAF Funded M!JJidlliVlf.J You're damned if you do. and damned if you do. NEWS IN enviro watch We are nearly half way through the semester, but I am sure many of us are still hibernating, so here is a brief wrap up of last month's news... President Clinton has not had it easy in the last few weeks. There are blows coming from all directions, whether it be the bombs that were set off near two US embassies in Africa, or Monica Lewinsky telling a grand jury that she had oral sex with the President a dozen times in his private study, off the oval office. 'Super Weed' Risk Confirmed. Genetically modified crops can create weeds that are harder to kill and breed strongly. Studies in the US have shown that herbicide resistant genes in oilseed rape were passed over to weeds growing next to the crop. Transgenic weeds are then resistant to herbicides, survive spraying and propagate more rapidly. Source: The Electronic Telegraph The British government has been accused of pushing through laws allowing the use of genetically altered organisms in food to be sold to the general public. But It has been revealed that the politicians have put a ban on the use of gene-altered material in food served to them in the parliamentary restaurants. Source: SHNS American geneticists have aished the US Patent Office, laying patent claim to more than 1,800 genes and 85 genetically altered animals. Source: SHNS Researchers have played Mozart, 'white noise', and Philip Glass to pregnant rats, reporting that rats exposed to music are faster learners than the other rats. This, they say, confirms similar results found in human children. Source: Reuters Compiled Jon Sumby On a serious note, in what the US State Department labelled a ' clear tefforist attack', the blast in Kenya and Tanzania killed 80 people and injured up to 1000 people. The unknown group, the Islamic Army for the Liberation of Holy Places, took responsibility for the bombing. Osama Bin Laden, a Saudi Arabian millionaire who has devoted his fortunes to waging a holy war against the US, is the main suspect in the search for the organiser of the bombing. He has also been linked with financing the World Trade Centre bombing in 1993. More than three million Sydney residents were forced to use boiled or drinking water, as the parasite giardia and Cryptosporidium were detected in the city's water supply A group of hotels, convenience stores and dentists launched a class action suing Sydney water over the scare, claiming compensation for lost revenue. Within a week, it was confirmed that the water supply was free of any contamination. Pauline Hanson's One-Nation party has managed to keep itself in the headlines with several meetings that were disrupted by protests. The One-Nation meeting in her home town, Ipswich was attended by 200 protesters and approximately 600 supporters. The meeting was held outside, as the Ispwich city council refused to provide a hall due to security concerns. The 80 strong police presence had an element BRIEF of concern themselves, when there were violent scuffles between supporters and protesters. A spokesperson for the ultra right-wing group National Action was committed to protecting the rights of Pauline Hanson to free speech, and commented that it will do whatever it takes to counter leftist groups, even use force itself, justifying it as 'self-defence'. Tfie turbulence in the National Party v«s still continuing, with a special meeting being held in which Tim Rscher and his deputy John Anderson resigned, only to be immediately re-elected unopposed. This instability in the National party comes as Mr Fischer is attempting to silence his critics within the party room, who have been vocal in their disagreements on certain government policies such as the sale of Telstra. Australia's first Very Fast Train service will be provided by the Speedrail consortium and will run between Canberra and Sydney. The Prime Minister announced that the service will be ready before the Sydney 2000 Olympics, and will bring $5.9 billion, as well as thousands of jobs and greater regional development. A new organisation has been set up to monitor racism in politics. The Racewatch group was launched by Community Aid Abroad and will monitor statements by politicians and political parties, and will communicate these statements to a panel of distinguished Australians, who will comment on whether they are racially inflammatory. The Wallabies brought the Bledisloe cup home after defeating New Zealand. Not all of the news recently has made the headlines. I bet you did not know about Greenpeace involvement in a recent oil spill. However, this time they were put in the unusual situation of explaining themselves to the pollution unit, when BP reported a spill of less than one litre in the Atlantic Ocean near a ship owned by Greenpeace. It has also been reported that German voters can make money out of the upcoming elections, through a new internet site which treats Political parties as companies on a stock exchange. Their success is determined by their share price, and the site allows users to make it big by backing the successful political party. For example on last check the opposition party Social Democrats were down at A$67, whilst the Christian Union party stood at A$59.38. Ozan Ibrisim SOUTHERN rFUTON ~nxs FACTORY CLAYTON BED CENTRE "Naturally for bedding" Where cheap pricn go with good quality WE STOCK: natural Fulon maltitsses and limber bases, quills, sheets and covers I inner spring bafsets Uty futons - cheaper for YOU as ARE THE IVIANUFACTURERS 340 Clayton Rd, Clayton Ph: 9543 5344 Non-CAF Funded Don't iick eandpaper. page? -"—— MffirTTilTl"Mi AND THEY CALLED IT HOST SCHEME... Well, it's almost that time of the year again when Host Scheme, the orientation of all orientation programs, starts up again. Many of you will have heard about the program before and we hope that it was a memorable and positive experience for you as it was for us. For those of you that don't remember, or just don't know what is Host Scheme, let us give you a bit of a reminder... This is a day organised by the Hosts. Each Host will be assigned a group of first year students from a similarfacultyto themselves and they will be asked to organise a function to give the students a chance to meet each other and to make ftiends. Hopefully, when the students start Uni they won't be put off by the size of their classes. WH/VT IS HOST SCHEME? HOST SCHEME DAY Host Scheme is a first year student orientation program run by cun'ent students. During the day, the Hosts will meet up with their function group and give a tour of the Monash campus which will also include visiting the relevant faculties. This is normally followed by a barbecue, bands, activities and prizes. WHAT DOES HOST SCHEME DO? Host Scheme gives new students the opportunity to meet potential classmates and friends as well as current students who are a direct source of information regarding Monash University. The Hosts act as guides, show first year students where lectures will be held, introduce them to faculty staff as well as a look at the range of extra activities offered at Monash. HOST SCHEME CAMPS There will be five camps by the beach in Somers for three days and two nights with approximately 100 new students and twenty Hosts on each. We expect lots of eating and drinking and general merriment to occur. HOST SCHEME FUNCTIONS HOST SCHEME NIGHT We will book a top Melbourne nightclub so you can party on long into the night. A great night out is to be had by all. This year we used the Metro Nightclub and next year... well you'll just have to wait and see! How 00 I BECOME A HoST? Keep an eye out for applications in about September or October. Hosts will be selected on the basis of these applications and possibly an interview. There are many activities which you can be involved in as a Host and we recommend that you get involved in each and every one. Ronny Uew and Marie ContI Host Scheme Co-ordinators 1999 We look forward to seeing you all during Summer. Lots of luck for the rest of the year. ([email protected]) COME ONE, COME ALL Sunday second of August was the grey and windy day on which Monash Clayton held its 1998 Open Day, now known a? Monash Day in an attempt to make it sound cool. Various faculties opened their doors and displayed their wares to next year's prospective JAFFYs, and in addition, visitors had the chance to find out about campus facilities, clubs and societies. Anxious parents were provided with seminars on how to help their children with the transition into university. Non-CAF Funded pages Non-CAF Funded_ Non-CAF Funded Unlike last year's attempt by some groups to close Open Day, political action was kept to a minimum. However a certain amount of graffiti did appear around campus. This included the alteration of the Monash Day slogan 'Open your mind' to read 'Open your wallet'. Kathryn James liSMiMJUdlUMd*! Nitrous Oxide ie no laughing matter UNIFIED AND LOCALISED STUDENTS GOING THEIR WAY There are a few facts that all Monash students should be aware of: • Monash has a corporate plan called TTie Monash Plan: Leading The Way. Under a subsection titled 'StudentInvolvement' it is written: 'By 1999, Monash will have a considerably enhanced and coherent University-wide student organisation capable of representing, and providing advocacy and services, for all students. Concurrently, a jointly owned campany will be established in which the University and its student, will be shareholders, to provide a comprehensive array of trading and commercially focussed student services and amenities.' The Monash Plan is the defining document of Monash and it allows Administration to cany out any activities that are toward the objectives outlined in the Plan. The introduction of up-front fees is an example of how University activities can be condoned as part of a larger strate^. The only way The Monash Plan may be altered, and the Administration directed toward certain aims, is through University Council - a board of twentyone members with only one undergraduate student member and one postgraduate student member MUFSO stands for Monash University Federation of Student Organisations: two representatives from each of the five Monash student organisations meet to become the MUFSO Executive. MUFSO was created a few years ago as a compromise between student organisations and Administration when there were suggestions that the student organisations should be amalgamated. MUFSO now deals with cross-campus issues and formulates responses to University policy by streamlining student responses from all five Monash campuses. At the July meeting of University Council, The Monash Student Plan was passed. This is the first cross-campus student project for Monash, the first time a student policy has been passed at University Council and the first student plan in Australia. This year the MUFSO Executive decided to ensure that the student organisations would not be amalgamated. Each student organisation avoided amalgamation because it would result in the University Admin controlling all student funds, student revenue and essential student services, while students would be left to form a financially-dependent student-advisory committee which would be unresponsive to individual campus concerns. In 1998, MUFSO also wanted to define itself, outlining to student organisations and the University that it vrtiuld not replace MSA, MonSU, MUGSU, MUBS or VPSA. MUFSO wanted to ensure that it remained a federation, an umbrella body only, leaving the local student organisations autonomous, approachable and a place where students could become active. In order to achieve this, MUFSO created The Monash Student Plan: Unified and Localised. After much discussion on all campuses with many different student representatives, MUFSO decided on the themes of unification and localisation student organisations supporting one another and speaking together without losing their autonomy or campus support. The student document also uses the three themes of the University: engagement, innovation and internationalisation, to discuss how MUFSO will provide students with a system of representation, communication and organisation. The Monash Student Plan does not commit individual Monash student organisations to anything but pro-student policies. It leaves of all the student associations free to operate as they may wish. Individual students will not be directly affected by TTie Monash Student Plan, as their main point of contact will still be with campus-based organisations. Indirectly, students will benefit greatly as student organisations will begin to share information, campaigns, sen/ices, staff and other resources. MUFSO hopes to provide students with more services and better quality representation by linking the existing student organisations and expanding their different strengths into other Monash campuses. The Monash Student Plan provides for annual consultation and review of what students want for the future of their organisations. Should students want to include their views, they should contact their campus organisation, as MUFSO has agreed that each organisation will hold forums on The Monash Student Plan and ideas for next year will be collected. Copies are available on request to the MUFSO office or your campus organisation. JacquI Cameron MUFSO Convenor University Council UmSerffaduate Member ^"^MROLL CE X M E L B O U RNE^ A p e . cAVt _^_ AUH Canberra h^ Sydrmy^ $36 .^45 Alhui^ R y r o n Bay QliJlilQ. _$Lfi7 Brisbane ^24 %yS)Si $lfl4 Plas Maaf Rtgioaal Ctntr^s h Bttweta & Btyoad Parttlt tii Irtifht ttrriti *« «// strrlttt Welcome aboard Australia's most modern fleet of coaches. Wherever you want to go, we'll get you there In air-conditioned luxury. For information and bookings contact: STA Travel or, McCafferty's PH 13 14 99 *AI prices quoted an shident fates ex Metwurne, one way and subject to change wWioul noOccL W£'U Gir YOU THERE ( Internet: wwwjiKCaffertysxomMt ) MCC5574 N o n - C A F Fundec Non-CAF Funded lt![.%M!i!IJlllJib[4«l page 9 Yes. England is in Europe. W!ms^ss^^^:tiitia :^^aa As you may or may not be aware, Monash University is cutting staff in large numbers from all "non-vocational" disciplines like Classics and Pure maths. This will inevitably lead to the closure of some departments, and the unavailability of subjects next year. Most people, when presented with this situation, shrug it off, and say "So what? What do 1 care? It doesn't affect me." But here's the crunch: It does. "Non-vocational" disciplines form the basis for any university's academic reputation. If these are removed, the university's reputation suffers. If the university's reputation suffers, then the value of its degrees declines. This affects the degrees of all students; not only the degrees we are currently working for and those which past students have already worked hard for, but even those of fijture students. Why is Monash cutting staff? The official line is that the university needs the money. But, quite frankly, that stinks. Anybody with half a brain can work out that the university still has enough money to splash it around rather liberally on its building projects. And isn't it interesting that the In the face of the new Monash Uni Grab For Cash^" (formally known as education), those who were once exclusively academics concerned with educating students, have been forced to become marketing managers for the product that is their course. Some have shunned this transformation, leaving us to witness the phenomenon of quietly-spoken intellectuals metamorphosising into fierce crusaders for the cause of knowledge. One such crusader is politics lecturer, Dr Paul James. Paul responded to the VC's sacking of Emeritus Professor John Legge, immediately following an Arts faculty stop-work forum at which he spoke, by writing an article for The Age. (Monday August 10) He described the Vice Chancellor's move as "vindictiveness against a long-serving and respected staff member." As an unpaid Emeritus Professor, not considered part of the corporate body and not attracting union backing, Professor Legge presented a softer target than Dr James, after both academ ics spoke at the forum. university has found a great way to save face by making it speaks out of turn Is hit over the head," he said. more attractive than ever for staff to retire? It's a really Dr James claims the Vice Chancellor, as the CEO of the globallymarketed Monash Corporation, is concerned only with the image projected to the world, rather than the pursuit of knowledge. Critical thought in this new corporate environment is valuable only to the extent that it builds public profile, and therefore attracts student consumers. Critical speech directed at the university and the system in which it operates is absolutely taboo. good way to save money by paying people extra to retire... not! Most of all, though, the staff cuts are exceedingly shortsighted. Not only does the decline in reputation affect our employability, but the lack of learning mars Australia's international reputation and ability to compete. Areas such Dr James rejected claims that the Vice Chancellor's hand has been forced by the federal government. "The VC is running ahead of the game," he said "The structural change in llie educiition system has been incremental since (former Labor education minister] Dawkins, but [Vice Chancellor] Robinson is trying to get out ahead of it," he claimed, stating that the VC's motivation was corporate gain and conunercial-competitive advantage against other institutions. as pure maths and theoretical physics form the basis for Australia's engineering profession. Discoveries and advances in these "non-vocational" disciplines are necessary for advances in the "vocational" ones. It is only a matter of time before Australia falls behind the rest of the developed world in terms of its technology. So, please, ask the Vice-chancellor not to be so short- The VC has declared that stop work forums must not be held during semester time, nor on university property, prompting Dr James to observe that "the university no longer belongs to the students or the staff, but to the corporation." A memo has since gone out to all Arts Faculty staff from the Vice Cliancellor demanding that they prove they were not at the stop work forum, to avoid having their pay docked. Paul likened this reaction to criticism to the methods of the One Nation party. "Anyone who Non-CAF Funded page 10 Dr James is scathing of the university's corporate priorities and management style, and mourns the resulting battle for departmental survival within the Arts faculty that was forced by administrative cuts and a shift in priorities. "People are scared for their jobs," he lamented. Non-CAF Funded sighted! E-mail him on david.robinsontaiadm.monash.edu.au Oh, and if you've got any questions or want to help, feel free to email me on mpow3(a)student.monash.edu.au Michael Power Adam McBeth Non-CAF Funded 5n-CAF Funded Thank you youn^ crone. Here is a purse of money, which I am noX. qoinq to give t o you Save Arts! 'By the end of this year, the Arts Faculty will have shed 15% of its staff.' The most important thing for students to know is that the Arts about everyday students who are not getting the education Faculty is in serious troubic, and that this is symptomatic of they were promised - not to mention the education we are the broader changes in education that we' re aJI so worried about. paying through the nose for! If you have any complaints about On Thursday .W' July 3(H» plus slaffand students. packed the Rotunda 1 Lecture Theatre to protest the Monash Plan and Cuts to the Arts Faculty. Seven speakers, including niy.self, spoke about the value ot'humanitles education and the need to stop the slash and burn policies of the University Administration which will result in systematic "•'"'"ct and course closures. ~ your subjects, come up to my office and add them to the list! By the end of this year, the Arts Faculty is expected to have shed about 10% to 15% of its staff. That's about one in five Something has to be done. The recent MUFSO/NTEU Arts general staff {do those people behind the information desks Stopwork Forum was a great start (MUFSO = Monash really look like they don't already have enough to do?) and University Federated Student Organisations and NTEU = more seriously, it means that subjects, and in some cases whole National Tertiary Education Union) and saw RI packed to the subject areas, will be lost because Monash thinks it can't afford rafters with angry students and staff. It also saw Emeritus to pay people to teach them. Professor John Legge kicked out of his Arts Faculty offices for speaking out against the university's management. for?' So far we know that Classics (Ancient Greek, Latin and other studies). Thai, Vietnamese, and Sudanese are going for sure - MUFSO, MSA and the NTEU will continue to work together and many others are still on the chopping block. In other areas, on this issue, and problems like this that may (and probably classes arc so overcrowded that enrolled students have been will) crop up in other faculties. We need your help. If you'd like told that there isn't room for them in tutorials that already to be involved, come up and speak to me at MSA or speak to contain twenty-five people each. Dave McClusky in the MUFSO Office (near the Health Service). Staff in the Arts Faculty have been fighting this all year, and Thanks, some are now going to the media, including Paul James who Melanie McGralh recently had a fantastic article printed in The Age. Students are Education Vke-President also considering taking legal action with the support of the MSA - students who think they deserve a place in a tutorial, PS. If you haven't yet filled out an Evening Classes survey, I'd students who believe they should have the opportunity to finish love you to come and collect one from the reception desk of their major at Monash (and not RMIT or Melbourne as the MSA and deposit it in my pigeon hole. It takes two minutes to Dean of Arts is constantly suggesting), and students who believe fill out and will be a huge help when I make a recommendation that three contact hours a week for an advanced language subject to the University about the level of evening classes students does not provide them with a quality education. We're talking require. ^ ^ ^ tees *:*«J ,.ji«e Class Cuts The Administration's corporate Plan and policies will disadvantage both existing and future Monash students. In fact, tnany students have already begun to suffer under course closures. For Example: students undertaking classical studies will no longer be able to complete their degree at Monash University and have been told they can attend Melbourne University. This is not an adequate solution because it ignores many significant problems students may face in attending another university including increased transport costs, a loss of their university community, limited or no access to Student Association Services at other Universities, and in the case of studying parents, extra childcare costs. It also ignores the fact that when students select and undertake a particular course of study at Monash, the University has a duty to ensure that students are able to complete that course. The University's systematic subject and course rationalisation program has even raised a number of equity and discrimination cases. Recently, a Legal Studies class was told that about twenty or more student places would have to be cut. Exactly which students were able to continue the course was decided on the basis of who could run to the front of the lecture theatre first and sign-up. This is not a fair or balanced way of deciding enrolments because it does not take into consideration the equity criteria and discrimination policies which are trumpeted by the University Administration in their Monash Plan. The University Administration continues to pay lip service to equity considerations inproviding education to the community. However, their present practices, and the likely consequences of slash and burn corporate policies have and will continue to result in many students suffering discrimination and disadvantages in their education. All students must continue to stand up and provide vocal support against faculty cuts that will see the loss of support, information and teal choices about education. Sandra RoennfeUt Women's Officer m^M^sss^ I know a little German. He's sitting o^er there. wm Non-CAF Funded Non-CAF Funded page 11 ^t^l^l^i^'.yv, Uni 2000: TOP s vision Upfront fees, staff redundancies, new walkways, parking crises, speaking course is American and run on-line, and you will do a corporate sponsorship, dead Classics dept, scathing articles in distance-education program with an Indonesian university, The Age - ever wondered where this is all heading? On July the including one semester placement in Indonesia. Your tailored The plan basically covers five key strategies for improving 16*, a group of students found out and were told to pass it on. degree can be completed at your own pace and you will have Monash and keeping the grass-roots level compatible with the In this game of Chinese whispers I may have got things more say over the assessment procedures and teaching methods. higher aims of the "Leading the Way" plan. These areas include: scrambled but it goes something like this: imagine you have left You are the client and in a student-centred learning environment Improving the Curriculum; Improving Student Learning; school, worked for a bit, gone overseas and come back and got your complaints will be addressed and lecturers will be monitored Improving the Teaching environment; Improving Governance a job. Your boss says you need to learn more about company and re-trained if they fall short of the teaching standards. of Academic Programs, Quality and Standards; and Improving law, website creation, improve your public speaking skills and communicating with the student body. Strategic Program Development. Under these umbrellas some learn Indonesian. You approach Monash (which is probably by Not bad, eh? It sounded good to us too, especially for those of the suggested changes are: developing/exploring alternative now an office in Collins Street) and tell them your learning who will be at Uni long enough to see these changes come about teaching methods (including remote teaching and computer-aided requirements and they will assemble a course, designed to meet (starting in 2000). But before we get too excited, everyone of us teaching programs); making degrees more flexible and subjects your unique needs. You will go to company law lectures held needs to look closely at the plan and scout around for the catch. interchangeable with overseas and local universities; working by Monash, do a website subject run by RMIT, your public After all isn't there always a catch? But wait, I am jumping ahead - let me fill you in on the with industry bodies and having the Uni more active in industry placement of students; and improving the teaching standards and offering staff incentive/award schemes. There is more, but background. you really need to read the plan to get the lull gist of it. Earlier on this year, Monash got together and drew up a corporate However, we are talking about some pretty significant changes, plan called "Monash: Leading the and as your representatives, we tried not to get too dazzled by Way". Since then there have been the bright lights, thus have picked out some possible hidden many souj jokes, but the university agendas and disguised costs. For example, some of the concerns thought that such an ambitious my discussion group had included were the emphasis on industry project should be followed up with involvement (is it corporate sponsorship? And are we heading a complimentary teaching plan and towards purely vocational training?), the swift removal of "low a group was assembled to produce demand" subjects, and equity issues - particularly with support what is now known as "The Learning services for smdents whisked off to Malaysia or those that are and Teaching Operational Plan". The doing Distance Ed Courses. group responsible for writing the draft includes a spread of academics These concerns and others have been formally lodged with the from all disciplines and one student LTOP committee, but we encourage the rest of you to have a representative. The plan has been good look at the plan and add your own comments/suggestions. circulated around most faculties and It is rare that students are given a say in such policy measures the LTOP people have been so make the most of it. Don't forget that these proposals are gathering feedback from university being made in our names, so make sure that you arc truly being staff Once this had been done, it represented. was time to tell the students. The LTOP group, combined with The LTOP group have until December 1998 to make any major MUFSO, held a one-day forum changes to the blueprint, so you have a bit of time to gather designed to elicit feedback from your thoughts. The LTOP plan can be found student reps and also to request that www.adm.monash.edu.au/dvcap/LTOP1998 and feedback can we filter the information down to be lodged with MUFSO at the office or by calling Ext.: 54178. at the bulk of students. This article constitutes my attempt at Good luck in making the difference... Jessica Stakes •Jon-CAF Funded page 12 |gr.UH«MiaiUMJBl •TAifJUJOIESISSBH^^^H^Hi^H^H^^HH Ray. if someone asks you if you are a qod, you aay yes. The Decimation of the Arts Faculty The Monash Plan, a document devised'by the University the University, its working environment, and a culture which This indiscriminate cutting of 40% of Arts .subjects does little Administration to facilitate the corpofatisation of Monash, talks emphasises academic engagement" sit rather uncomfortably with more than restrict the choice of students as to the area in which of "streamlining", "globalising", "inlemationali.sing". The manner the VC's refusal to meet a senior delegation of the Arts faculty to they specialise, and, along with the loss of 20% of Arts faculty in which the vice-chancellor, David Robinson, is breathing life discuss the University's funding rationale, particularly in the staff and the subsequent rise in the teacher/student ratio to between i nto these buzz words has frightening consequences for the future light of the $218.RM consolidated surplus Monash generated in 1:16 and 1;35, seriously affects quality of education. One is of higher education. The University's commitment to respond to 1997. Furthermore, head of the endangered Classics department, prompted to seriously question Monash's commitment to " service the needs of "industry collaborators" means that Monash is well Saul Bastomsky, has to date neither been consultctJ with regard orientation", for surely, especially in an era of increased education on its way to consolidating its status as 'a market-oriented to, nor officially informed of, the closure of his department. costs and full up-front fees, the consumer is entitled to expect corporation, rather than a higher education institution; emphasising not quality education, but revenue-raising. more from its "higher education provider". The "Blueprint Document" developed by an executive committee of the Arts faculty to restructure teaching, proposes minimum Staff, too, have a sense of disillusionment, poweriessness and The VC's introduction of "competitive reward strategies" means class sizes of sixty students at first year level, twenty-five, at resignation at the change in university culture. The VC has not, that faculties, departments, and staff must rely on their ability to second year, and fifteen at third year for Arts subjects, with those however, been able to fully suppress sedition in the ranks. While generate income to justify their continued existence at Monash. courses failing to meet these criteria being terminated. some staff remain fearful of recriminations, some have gone The use of economic standards as those by which subsidisation Consequently, many staff and even whole departments are under public with their denunciations of his oppressive measures, and between faculties will be "identified and justified" has placed the threat. The imposition of a strict minimum enrolment criteria others are calling for his resignation. Arts and Science faculties under particular pressure, with the ignores the fact that enrolments fluctuate each year as different Arts faculty being "streamlined" to provide only those courses faculties, departments, and subjects go in and out of vogue. The anti-Monash Plan graffiti which appeared on the walls of "which incorporate career-oriented skills and which link directly Furthermore, small class sizes are imperative if students are to the University on the eve of Open Day has gone some way in with professional or vocational training". receive enough attention to ensure quality of education. lifting the morale of affected staff and students. After brooking so much disappointment at the implementation of regre.ssive An Arts degreeis not, however, a vocational degree. It does not The closing this year of the Classics department, along with a lead to a narrowly defined specialist career path; but rather opens number of Asian and Slavic languages, History, English, Social Monash Student Plan, which supports the University's corporate the door to diverse employment options. Study of the humanities Work and Women's Studies courses, is not only a great loss to plan; and the lack of organised protest by the MSA, it was refreshing to know that someone, somewhere, cares. is about thinking. It teaches students to express themselves the world of critical theory, but has also left many students part clearly, to be critical, to discriminate between what is dross and way through their degrees with no way to complete their minor government policy by the "enemy from within"; the MUFSO what is valuable; and these skills are not easily forgotten. Thus, or major sequences. Astonishingly, the University enrolled first just because some areas of knowledge defy quantification in year students in these courses this year without informing them Danielle Ujvari, Student representative on the Arts faculty dollar terms, does not mean they.are without value. that they were terminal. Board Nonetheless, the VC is determined to exempt those faculties less able to attract corporate sponsorship from his pledge to treat staff at all levels "with fairness and respect", Current academic workloads among Arts Faculty academics of sixteen to eighteen leaching houis per week and the VC's compilation of names of staff who attended the Arts Forum are presumably part of the University's bid to "adopt staffing policy and management approaches which... establish Monash as the preferred employer amongst Australian universities." Similarly, the sacking of a significant number of Science staff and a $2.5M cut to the faculty is defended as part of an "ambitious new plan to strengthen its profile as a major centre for science and technology teaching, both nationally and internationally". Although Monash "recognises the right of staff to be members of unions and the involvement of those unions in industrial relations", that this recognition does not extend to the right of staff to freely discuss the direction in which the University is heading, is evidenced by the curt dismissal of Emeritus Professor and distinguished historian John Legge the day after his critique of the Monash Plan at the Arts Faculty forum. Furthermore, promises that "stafTwill be informed, consulted and involved in the development of the overall direction of May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits, Non-CAF Funded page 13 Monash University: The Great Leap Backwards separated During the Eighth Party Congress of the Bolshevik Party in 1919, Party discipline was discussed and eventually defined as aa adherence to the following maxim: "All decisions of the higher jurisdiction are absolutely binding for the lower". This maxim was then exploited to the full under the dictatorship of Josef Stalin. Not only were all decisions of the higher jurisdiction utterly binding for the lower, any dissent or questioning of decisions was not tolerated and severely dealt with. Unorthodox thinkers were punished; exiled to Siberia, sentenced to terms in the extensive prison camps of the Gulag, or euphemistically "repressed". The centralisation of power that was achieved by the Communist Party of the Soviet Union (CPSU) enabled Stalin to have absolute control over every facet of life in the Soviet Union. The organisation of administrative structures within Monash University, it would seem, is similar to that of the CPSU, in that both bodies operate under the principles of "democratic centralism." A contradiction in terms? Absolutely. The basic tenets of centralism necessarily preclude democracy. A vice-chancellor who is certain of his support and power base within the university should have no need for such totalitarian measures. THE MONASH PLAN In 1987 a document was published, entitled The Monash Plan: A Strategy for the Future. In this document the then vice-chancellor, Mai Logan, outlined his ideas for keeping up with a changing economic climate, and made a commitment to "retain[ing] the right to pursue curiosity-motivated basic and applied research..." This seemingly innocuous document was expanded, revamped, and renamed Leading the Way: The Monash Plan by the present VC of Monash, David Robinson. It would seem that Robinson is either wholly ignorant of history or has a very grim sense of humour because he decided to name it the Monash Five- Year Plan. The most interesting section of the document is Part 9: Infrastructure and Support. In somewhat euphemistic language, the centralisation process is outlined. While paying lip service to the devolving of authority to the faculties and staff, it is clear that the administrative structure of the university will be omnipotent and ubiquitous. Economic rationalism is alive and well at Monash, with the Plan stating there will be a "rigorous internal focus on efficiencies and cost savings wherever they can be found." If this means slashing the funding to the Arts page 14 at birth? Faculty by 15% £lnd retrenching one in six staff, so be it. Like the Five Year Plan of the Soviet Union, quality and job satisfaction are being subjugated to the balance sheet. Also like the Soviet Five Year Plan, the end result will be sub-standard and unsatisfactory. Scholarly research will no longer be actively encouraged, with "less emphasis on 'non-strategic' basic research", and there will be a su-onger focus on vocational-type study. The Plan also states that "all academic staff will be expected to contribute to the University's overall profile of engagement in research, scholarship, reflection on Monash University, it would seem, is similar to that of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union, in that both parties operate under the principles of 'Democratic Centralism'. practice, and creative and performing art." With class sizes only getting bigger and less academic staff to teach them, staff must be prepared to sacrifice their lives for their jobs or they will be unable to manage such unrealistic tasks. Academics already work extraordinarily long hours; and to ask them to work longer hours in an environment which is restrictive and repressive is deplorable. As part of the centralisation process, quality will be monitored by "enhanced internal review systems". It is somewhat unsettling when checks and balances of power are in the hands of those wielding that power. MuFso's MONASH SruoB-fr Pi jiN In response to the Monash Plan, the Monash University Federation of Student Organisations (MUFSO), the Non-CAl- Funded umbrella body under which the student organisations from each of the Monash campuses will operate, has devised its own document entitled The Monash Student Plan: Unified and Localised. Centralised power is again the primary focus of this document, with some token references to student control over student affairs. According to the MUFSO Convenor, Jacqui Cameron, the Student Plan has complete student support. This is absolutely not the case, because I, as a student in whose name it was devised, dissent lo it and find it utterly repugnant. Yet the Student Plan is simply a reaction to the centralising tendencies of the VC. If he refuses to deal with the separate Student Organisations of each campus there would seem to be no choice but lo have an umbrella body. However, I object to this body purporting to be independent from Administration and the Vice-Chancellor. The Arts Faculty Stop Work Forum which took place on Thursday, July 30 was organised by MUFSO. This is frightening because the body that is collaborating with the VC, is professing to oppose him. That MUFSO believes in centralised power is obvious from its Student Plan. "MUFSO believes that the centralised governance of the University must be reflected in the organisations that represent students. It is possible for student organisations to unify the flow of information through MUFSO... " Unify the flow of information? Don't they mean regulate the flow of information and censor student access? The aims of the Monash Student Plan, which can be summarised by their logo, Unified and Localised, are completely conflicting and specifically designed to be confusing and ambiguous. This way, when the document is reviewed every year the VC is able to change the aims of the text as he so desires. It is impossible to have centralised power and still be able to effectively govern on a local level. It did not work in the USSR for eighty years and it will not work at Monash. No longer should institutions such as Monash be called universities; rather they are, as stated in the Monash Plan, "higher education providers", catering for a specific demographic, much like a retail store. And, like a retail store in the former Soviet Union, there is very little choice available. If I am to be a consumer in this new market instead of a student, please allow me the freedom to choose that which I am consuming. Olivia Hill-Douglas Baldrick, you wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if i t stripped naked, painted itself purple and danced or\ t o p of a harpsichord singing, "Subtle plans are here again!' University is one of the places where women gain their first experiences and knowledge of the hierarchy and institutions of the law. Legal education plays an important role in shaping the perspectives and perceptions of students towards the law and the possible roles women can achieve within the legal profession. Women now make up over fifty percent of law students and graduates. For this reason it is necessary to examine female students' attitudes towards their legal education and whether, they experience any disappointments or negative stereotypes of women in the law and legal profession. A 1992 study of the conflicts experienced by twelve Sydney University female law students discovered that the female students often saw male attitudes as patronising. It was felt that women had to perform better and work harder. As one female student described it 'you have to almost forget your different and try to compete in a male world with what you see to be the traits of a good lawyer, being aggressive and hard'. Moira Rayner had similarly alienating experiences in law school. "The boys didn't treat you very nicely ... they were patronising, and said some fairly gross things.' She described one male lecturer as asking females questions pertaining only to sexual offence cases, 'he'd laugh when we went red ... we didn't like it but we didn't have the language to say what he was doing was wrong.' These negative attitudes towards the value of women's presence and contribution to legal education have changed within the last ten years, largely due to the increasing intake numbers and successes of women students. However, legal education still has a particularly narrow focus. According to Professor Marcia Neave, 'students do still largely lend to accept the proposition that the law is gender neutral and [law schools and academics] need to expose the subtle ways in which the law values some activities and not others.' Many women have expressed disappointment with the way in which legal education misses too much of what matters on a priictical and intellectual level. Gjre legal subjects concentrate on the adversarial nature of the legal system, on cases and points of law, while often failing to adequately incorporate social and political disciplines. The lack of alternative subjects and the failure to incorporate different social experiences, particularly gender bias within the legal system, means the quality of legal education is undermined. This is particularly so for women, whose career paths tend to concentrate upon social policy areas. The possibility for change in the legal profession, to accommodate the qualities and characteristics of women, is dependent upon perceptions which are fomied in law school. Legal education which says It is natural, efficient and fair for law finns, the bar as a whole, and the society serviced to be organised in their actual patterns of hierarchy and domination has the potential to dissuade many female law students from entering the profession. The perception amongst some women law students and graduates is that without changes to the structures and value systems of the legal profession, the balancing of career and motherhood would be very difficult. A 1990 Law Institute of Victoria survey of career patterns of law graduates found that approximately 27% of female graduates surveyed did not continue in private practice after admission. Of these women 65% stated that family commitments were the most important factor in their decision to leave the profession. The values, needs and wants of law students differs greatly. Legal education that attempts to incorporate different value systems and needs is more flexible and therefore more able to influence the value of female students, both on campus and within the legal profession. Recognition of the benefits and qualities women can bring to legal education and the profession can lead to a greater social acceptance of the important roles and/or positions women hold within our legal system. Law schools should make students question stereotyped assumptions about the law, because, this helps to eradicate gender, class and race stereotypes within legal hierarchies and wider society. Sandra Roennfedlt Byron Bay Summer Law School Dec, 1998 The School of Law and Justice at Southern Cross University is running a summer school at Byron Bay, one of the most beautiful locations in Australia, boasting magnificent scenery, golden beaches and a relaxed atmosphere. Units (undergraduate) on offer are: Q Psychiatry, Psychology & the Law • Cyberlaw • International Commercial Arbitration & Negotiation • International Criminal Justice Places are limiled. For more information coiitact Sandra Power al Norsearch Ltd: Southern Cross University POBox 157Lism()re NSW 2480 Ph: (02) 6620 .19.12 Fax: (02) 6622 1954 lillp://www.scu.cdu.au/schools/Iawj/summer/ Please send me infonnalion on llie course(s) ticked above. Name: Address: P/code: ,,„,„, S a ' j 5 f l ffiOBn Non-CAF Funded E^ch f o o t 5iveat6 a cup o^ sweat a day. Non-CAF Fundec page IS ooinion& ENVIRDWATCH On 2 July, Senator Hill tabled the Environment Protection and Biodiversity Bill 1998 in the Senate. At the same time, the entire Australian conservation movement - from the Australian Council of National Trusts to Greenpeace formally announced its strong opposition to fundamental aspects of the proposed new environmental legislation. Australia's environment and heritage needs strong national protection. However, the Bill provides a very narrow range of issues that the Commonwealth can take responsibility for, then sets up ways where even these responsibilities can be handed over to the States, and ways that individuals, companies and governments can be exempted from the law. Some of the major problems of the EPBC Bill are: J. The list of matters of national significance is very narrow: While the need to engage the States is a reality of a Federal system, this should not compromise the ability of the national government to protect Australia's environment and heritage in the national interest. The legislation does not provide the Federal Government with direct responsibilities for a number of important environment matters such as climate change, land degradation, vegetation clearance, or water allocation for environmental flows. 2. There is no detail about how States will be accredited: A major part of the new legislation rests on matters of national significance being managed on the ground by States, according to accredited processes and standards. However, the Bill provides almost no details about how accreditation would work, what standards would be required, and how the public would be involved. 3. The Commonwealth will not be able to consider all environmental impacts when assessing projects: The Commonwealth will be required to take all social and economic impacts into account when assessing a projea. However, it will only be able to examine a narrow range of environmental impacts. For example, ifa power station that would double Australia's greenhouse pollution was to be built on the habitat of an endangered species, then the Environment Minister could act to protect the species, but would not be able to prevent the pollution. 4. The Bill does not apply to forests covered by Regional Forest Agreements (RFAs): RFAs have been negotiated without minimum standards for environmental impaa assessment or public participation. They cover a substantial part of Australia's forests - all of Tasmania, 32% of Victoria, 14% of NSW, 4 % of Queensland, and 2% of Western Australia - which in turn provide habitat for a large part of Australia's terrestrial biodiversity. Regional Forest Agreements switch off environment laws thai would normally apply to forests. 5. People, companies, and governments who sign conservation agreements will be exempt from the law: The Bill proposes to allow parties who sign conservation agreements to be exempt from Commonwealth environmental impact assessment laws. This is undesirable and unnecessary. It is inappropriate to use exemption from environmental laws as an incentive to persuade people to enter into such agreements. mssms^m page 16 msasi^ssssm 6. The Bill fails to implement key parts of the Biodiversity Convention: The Bill fails to implement crucial provisions, principles, objectives, and priority actions contained in the Biodiversity Convention, the National Biodiversity Strategy, and National Strategy for Ecologically Sustainable Development. The Australian conservation movement believes there is a need for reform to update, improve and strengthen our environmental and heritage laws. Unfortunately, this legislation does not deliver the fundamental reforms promised by the Federal Government. The new legislation should not just be about addressing the failures and deficiencies of the last years; it must lay down a solid platform for the future. We need environmental laws that will serve Australia well into the next century, and we should not miss the rare opportunity we have now to improve and strengthen them, in the national interest. This issue needs greater public awareness and more attention from the media. Think about how the proposed changes could affect environmental issues in your area. Write a letter to the editor of your local paper, and call talkback radio, so that others can learn and join the campaign. The text of the bill can be found on the Internet at the following address: < http://www.aph.gov.au/legis.htm > The Environmental Defenders Office have prepared a commentary on the bill which is at: < http://www.edo.org.au > Source - ACF Ion Sumby mssBissmsms V\r\o(.ch\o wanV^ with sandpaper. jDOinions MANDATORY SENTENCING IN THE NORTHERN TERRITORY Over the past year, the Northern Territory has been in the news for passing laws to legalise euthanasia (which were subsequently overridden by Federal Parliament), for being the site of Australia's newest and most controversial proposed uranium mine, and, no doubt, for there having been a few people attacked by crocodiles. But the Northern Territory is also home to a less well known phenomenon, with the introduction in March 1997 of mandatory sentencing for property offences. Amendments to the Sentencing Act (NT) have seen the mclusion of a new section 78A which holds that a Magistrate or Judge MUST impose a prison sentence on an adult who is found guilty of committing particular property offences. The jail terms are at least fourteen days imprisonment for a first offence, at least ninety days jail for a second offence, and if the person has two prior convictions, they will receive a sentence of one year in arison if convicted of a third property offence. In the case of uveniles (fifteen or sixteen year olds), a new section 53AE n the Juvenile Justice Act states that a Magistrate or Judge viUST impose a period of at least twenty-eight days (etention on a juvenile found guilty of a property offence if hey have at least one prior conviction. These sentences ran not be suspended and must be served in detention. he types of property offences subject to mandatory entencing include criminal damage (any damage to roperty, including graffiti), stealing (but not shoplifting), reak and enter, robbery, receiving stolen property, assault nth intent to steal and unlawful use of a motor vehicle (ie. )yriding, car theft). hese laws impact disproportionately on Aboriginal people I the Northern Territory, who although making up ^proximately 25% of the Northern Territory's population, present well over half of those persons incarcerated. Of I juveniles in detention in the NT, 90% are Aboriginal. ie Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody commended that imprisonment be a sanction of last resort ily, whereas these laws make imprisonment the first and ily port of call. The rationale behind mandatory ntencing is that to 'get tough' on crime will act as a terrent for potential offenders, and effectively reduce the ; not for hn^. -CAh Funded crime rale. However, such policies show no regard for wider societal problems such as disempowerment, unemployment, poverty, and racism, issues which confront Aboriginal people every day. The Chief Minister of the Northern Territory, Shane Stone, has also recently expressed support for the policy of "zero tolerance," which basically means that all discretion is removed from policing. This policy had its origins in downtown New York, where the problems with drugs and violence are infamous. Although the Northern Territory does have a relatively high murder and assault rate and problems with property crime, it seems incongruous that Shane Stone uses a policy bred in New York as a model for the situation in the NT. The combined effect of mandatory sentencing and zero tolerance would see many more people in jail, and commonly for minor offences, because all discretion is removed from police in laying charges and all discretion is removed from the judiciary in imposing sentences. Already, Territorians are imprisoned at a rate of more than three times the national average. It is arguable that subjecting people Co imprisonment, particulaHy for minor offences and when they would have been unlikely to reoffend, will do more harm than good by introducing such people to a culture of crime within the prison system, and by further compounding their sense of injustice and disillusionment. The application of the mandatory sentencing laws has so far seen a twenty-three year-old, single mother imprisoned for fourteen days for stealing a can of beer, a twenty yearold man jailed for stealing $9 worth of petrol, another woman imprisoned for spilling water on a cash register Non-CAF Fundec after an argument, and a juvenile being put in detention for taking a cigarette lighter from a car, These are only a few examples of the implications of these laws, and are demonstrative of the danger and of blanket rules which do not allow for pleas of mitigation, or the imposition of more appropriate punishments, if indeed punishment is warranted atall. Recently, Greens Senator Bob Brown has expressed an intention to introduce a private members Bill into the Senate which would seek to override the Northern Territory's mandatory sentencing laws, just as the Federal Parliament recently invalidated the Territory's euthanasia laws. It will be most interesting to walch the progress of such a Bill this time round both because of the controversy over interfering with the affairs of a duly elected Parliament (even though the Commonwealth can still constitutionally make laws for the Territories) and more specifically, because the major political parties like to be perceived as tough on crime, especially with a federal election on the horizon. In the current political climate, where the One Nation Party trumpets support for the reintroduction of capital punishment, mandatory sentencing laws may seem to be comparatively benign, but they too represent a human rights crisis, especially because of their disproportionate impact on Aboriginal people, the young, the homeless and the poor. Nicole Rodger Note: some of the material for this article was taken from "Mandatory Sentencing: An Information Kit" produced by the Darwin Community Legal Service. mssEi^xB^smK^mmmi^mmKmm page 17 ooinion& THE WHITE GREAT Ladies and gentlemen, LIE I throw down the gauntlet. I will show you in this article how best to combat the One Nation juggernaut and that is it best not to use violence in protesting against Hanson. 6P005E It is easiest to demonstrate the dangers of such policies by looking at history. "Why bother looking back at history?" A western philosopher wrote: "Those who don't remember the past are doomed to repeat it." We must question, however, if memory is sufficient to prevent repetition. World War II, which the world calls the Holocaust, teaches us at least two important lessons. These lessons (which follow) can be applied to the current Hanson situation: Btwo/ ^ ^ rooR. ifJ! oo <T ONE TRMK PARTY G-EIS N£WiY ERUCTtO AAlMBEff In its pursuit of truth and the right to free speech, Pauline Hanson's One Nation party has ignored other people's right of speech and the public's right of information. Knowingly or unknowingly, the One Nation party has committed itself to blatant hypocrisy. While clamouring for its own right to free speech. One Nation has silenced people it doesn't like. Not only this, but One Nation heavyweights David Oldfield and David Ettridge have treated their members like something they pulled off the sole of their shoes. Let me explain. On Friday July 17 1998, Pauline Hanson declared that if, in 1967, true-blue Australians knew what would happen once Aborigines had the vote, they wouldn't have given them this unalienable right. Not only is this a principal example of One Nation silencing people it doesn't like, it is also plainly and unmistakably racist. In a press conference in Canberra, Pauline Hanson used security guards, paid for by the Australian tax-payer, to eject reporters from two newspapers. Another example of silencing people because One Nation doesn't like them. If One Nation's national director, David Ettridge, wants a troublesome member out of the party, he phones David Oldfield, Hanson's senior advisor, or vice versa. The decision is made in minutes. Hanson is usually consulted, but she is not known to have overruled the "two Davids" since they took command of One Nation. Electoral candidates have to submit signed, undated resignations as part of the appointment, so removing them is easy. There is no involvement by the party membership and no appeals. Not only is this a strange way to operate a party that purports to be the face of democratic Australia and to represent "the people", it ispatently unheard of in politics. If this scenario happened in the ALP or the Liberal party, the public uproar would be deafening. What do you think of your leaders now, One Nation members? Non-CAF Fundec page 18 J' d Let us now look at One Nation's double standards. In the Queensland campaign, the party made much of its opposition to politicians' "obscene perks", yet the leader of One Nation's eleven new Queensland MPs, Bill Feldman, complains that the extra five staff and an office he has been allocated by the Seattle Labor Government are inadequate. Feldman also defends his acceptance of a chauffeur-driven limousine so he would not "fall asleep at the wheel", and the extra $20,000-a-year he gets as leader, giving him a $100,000-plus package. What was that about "obscene perks"! "When you protest against the Pauline phenomenon, please use the power of your lungs, not of your fists." One Nation also claims to be the champion of small business. Yet a string of small businesses in north Queensland are still waiting to be paid for debts racked up during a visit by Hanson to the region last year; and it has been revealed that one of the new One Nation MPs, )eff Knuth, has yet to pay a $4,400 debt to a Townsville paint store incurred eight years ago. Even the party's commitment to 'Buy Australia First' looks a little wobbly - at least one Australian flag at its Queensland policy launch was made in Taiwan. 1. Any attempt to classify people into superior and inferior based on race, belief or skin colour - must end in catastrophe and destruction for all. The international interest demonstrated these days in its various expressions in the rights of the individual and one's basic freedoms, in the granting of freedom to past establishments and social equality for all, is largely the fruit of the traumatic reaction to the disaster which the Holocaust gave the world. 2. Many people often argue: "But it didn't happen to us!" This dangerous situation was acutely and fiercely pointed out and answered by the great theologist, Martin Niemoller, who was himself a victim of the Nazis. In his words: When the Nazis turned against the Jews, I didn't react, since I am not Jewish. When the Nazis persecuted the Catholics, I didn 't act, since I am not Catholic. When they oppressed the workers, I didn't protest, since I am not a worker Then they came for me, but there was no-one left to speak out for me. While it is expected that the One Nation party will not turn into a bad (or, even worse, good) copy of the Nazi party, you know what they say: prevention is always better than cure. In the light of these facts, I urge you, one and all, to vote against One Nation in the Federal election. Since I do not attend anti-Hanson rallies for fear of getting caught in random violence, 1 cannot urge you to attend these rallies, sincetheni will be seen as a hypocrite. However, if you do choose to protest against Pauline Hanson in these rallies, I urge you to use the strongest possible language, but please remember; do not use violence! The mainstream media has a habit of picking up random violence and attaching it to anti-Hanson demonstrators, with the result that these demonstrators are seen in a bad light by the public. Besides, as Mahatma Gandhi has shown the world for over thirty years, peaceful non-violent protest can achieve much more than random violence. Against Hanson supporters, could random violence ever achieve more than a bad image? Never! Therefore, when you protest against the Pauline phenomenon, please use the power of your lungs, not of your fists. Greg Galon There is a cliche that all politicians ate out to cheat us of our money. It's definitely not true; not all politicians want to do this (though it does make for some great jokes). Sources used: The Age, "Inside a Private Party", Saturday 4 )uly Non-CAF Funded T h a t went down like a f a r t in a bath. opinions .AND THE IN THE MONASH DEFENCE OF OUR STUDENT DEFENCE UNION ASSOCIATION It appears that in recent weeks, there have been a number of articles that question some aspects of the Monash Student Association. I find it really unfortunate that a select group of students would feel entitled to undermine the representative body of Monash University students. The Monash Student Association is about protecting our education and delivering the maximum number of services and activities for Monash Students. RESTS Lot's Wife is partly funded by the Monash Student Association and provides students with an important window on adivities on this campus and encourages critical thinking. The MSA runs SWICH, one of the best childcare services on any campus in Australia. It also employs advocates who represent students who are in trouble with the Administration or their faculty. Student Welfare is for students facing rough patches and can help to organise things like emergency accommodation, advice and assistance with applying for Government support. The MSA operates in a very difficult era under the state based Voluntary Student Unionism legislation. The faa that it is still able to have so many divisions, departments and activities is a testament to student administration. Students on this campus may not realise the sheer number of services that are available but I will try to cover some of them. The MSA provides funding for clubs on campus. Clubs for waterskling, debating, raising political awareness or any other activity are funded by your student union. Other services which are provided by your student union include that should explain themselves: the Monash Student Association Book Co-operative; Wholefoods Restaurant; Activities, the centre of free beer, free food, free bands. Green Week and Union Nights; 3MU, Monash's own student radio; and MUT Vision, our own TV unit with full editing facilities. Look Into Student Theatre at Monash as well. The MSA supports independent divisions for postgraduate, part time and mature age students and international students. The MSA has developed a broad range of committees to help students become involved in campus issues and also to ensure that student voices are heard in all areas of University life. Just three years ago the MSA President helped establish the Not Quite Straight Students Collective to provide support and representation for queer-identifying students on campus. So next time you hear about the Monash Student Association, remember, it is a broad based organisation that represents all students. It is more than just Wholefoods or Activities, and you may be surprised to know what the organisation can do for you. Respect your student union as it gives tertiary students a voice In domestic politics and acts as important support for students In their time on campus. Fergus Vial For your chatice to win an i M a c , the most original Macintosh since the original Macintosh, (and a VIP guest pass - including return airfare and accommodation - to the 1998 Australian Awards for University Teaching Presentation at Parliament House, Canberra) tell us in 25 words or less: WHAT MAKES A GOOD UNIVERSITY TEACHER? 3 z o < h- For more information visit your local Apple campus store or our web site at: http://www.apple.com.au/ Additional entry forms: www.ozuniawards.aust.com Proudly tponspred by Apple Computer Australia Non-CAF Funded Non-CAF Funded University: Course: Phone: Email: Mail to: What Makes a Good University Teaclier? PO Box 787, Rozelle NSW 2039 By: Friday 25 September 1998. Apple, tlie Appk lo)jo and iMac are registtrcd tnidemarit.s of Apple Computer Inc. Thersa unly one thing better than serenity and that's a three strolte motor on full throttle. Name: Address: A Commonwcaltii Depanmeni of Empluymcnt, Education, Training and Youth Affairs Initiative Non-CAF Funded Bflb!UilliT.M.:i page 19 ooinion& THE GftfAT ART C^^mcs Ue Munch Me rtutnrinn -^.Vff of p M f »i V p l j law Students II11 wereim^, 1 M rould.-IJLj ^"^JL 1. 2. Be better paid for giving the same Lose weight after up work. beer. 3. Avoid faking orgasms. f ^ B l ^ If there's one thing that I just can't stand, it's pretentious, out, no dipshit Law prick is going to stop me. In order to ignorant, stuck-up, pain-in-the-arse Law students. These combat this anal behavior, I propose Monash introduce cunting people walk around every day in their Country a compulsory school uniform to be wom at all times. It Fucken Road outfits with their heads stuck well and truly would consist of a lycra body suit in the Monash colours, up their accommodating arseholes. Why the Vice which are probably red or blue or some crap like that. It Chancellor doesn't relocate these fuckers to the could be ergonomically advanced, boasting a large hole Cippsland Campus is beyond me. How much designer in the genitonial and rectal areas so you would not have jewelry and purses made out of Bengali Tiger scrotums to take It off to go to the toilet. It would be a rash move, can we take? Some of us non-wanker types don't want but I for one would welcome it. It would be worth it just anchor can't afford bullshit accessories like these. 1 mean, to stick it up those smug cockhead Law students. the only fashion accessory I have is a bad case of haemorrhoids.And if I want to let my arse-grapes hang The Munchkin 4. Be able to dine out alone without hearing a chorus of men asking if I'm alone. 5. Leave washing my hair for a few days (or weeks). 6. Park the car in multi-story lots without freaking out 7. Read for an hour on the toilet. 8. Stop worrying. 9. Not lose my keys. 1. Sing show tunes, eg. 'Come fly with me, lefs fly, lef s flyawaaaay...' 2. Make the sound of a telephone ringing, then 'answer' your pencil case and proceed to have a chat while speaking into it. 10. Say ' N O ' to the mechanic who wants to replace the clutch and shock absorbers. 3. Stand next to the control panel and if anyone else tries to press any of the buttons, look angry and say, 'Nein! Zat is ze responsibility of ze lift kommandant!' 11. Say I've still got thirty years to have my first child. 12. Put dirty clothes on again without feeling revolting. Ways To Freak People Out In The 13. Believe what 1 tell myself. 14. Not be upset if my best friend forgets my birthday. 15. Exercise my right to work without being called a rad cal feminist. 16. Find everyone 'nice' at a party. 17. Find it funny to go shopping. 18. Co to the hairdresser and not hear the same night "Oh, you've cut your hair!" 19. Take in all the groceries in one go. 20. Not be easily disgusted. 21. Be able to direct a company that isn't primarily concerned with human rights or the environment. 22. Go shopping only when 1 need something and only come back with that item. 23. Get 100,000 on Mortal Kombat. Menzies Lift 4. Take off your shoe and present it to the nearest person, along with the question, 'Does that smell like heaven or what?' 5. Pretend you're one of those lift operators and make nonsense announcements at each floor, like, 'Fifth Floor: Dicks, dags and dweebies' or 'Ninth Floor: Spigs and spags and spoogs.' 6. Wait until it's just you and one other person in the lift, then ask 'Going down?' while raising one eyebrow suggestively 7. Starting on the top floor, position yourself in front of the lift when the doors open, but don't get in. When the doors close, run down to the next floor and occupy the same position. And so on, and so on, so that the first thing the people in the lift see when the doors open is you on every floor. 8. Same as above, but every time the doors open, hold up a letter until you've spelled out, 'I LOVE YOU ALL.' 24. Pee standing up. 25. Write my name without a pen (refer to 24) 26. Not have periods. 27. Stop shaving my legs/bikini line/under arms. 28. Grow a really good potbelly and be proud of it. 29. Co out alone at night and not be concerned for my safety. 30. Open bottles effortlessly. 9. Again, wait until it's just you and one other person. Sidle up to them while sniffing as though they were a delicious morsel and mutter to yourself, 'It smellses nice but is it for eating, my preciousss?' 10. Wait until the; lift is packed, then every lime someone prepares to get off, clutch at them and cry, 'No, please! Don't leave me! For the sake of all the kids - stay!' Terri Psiakis Kristina Batchelor Non-CAF Funded page 20 uiOaiaiiMfWi tmnsisasnssBt You're about a^ u^^cful a s a choco\ate teapot. i>pinions WHOLE F D O D FOR THOUGH It is with great sadness that I announce that the Collective has been dissolved. After a series of long and difficult meetings, the group has decided to disband in protest at the actions of the Monash Student Board. The decision was reached in part because of the Board's failure to reinstate the Collective as the managing body of the restaurant, pursuant the binding SCM motion. However, it was the desire of the Collective not to be associated with the new volunteer program, implemented without consultation, at the direction of the Board, that has forced it's hand. It is the position of the Collective that until it is reinstated in its full capacity, it will not act simply to rubber stamp the management decisions made by the MSB. The new program gives volunteers little choice in which area of the restaurant they would like to work. Of most concern, however, is the fact that volunteers along with regular staff have been directed not to discuss the Wholefoods issue with patrons. The new program also introduces a sharp division t;etween paid staff and volunteers. In addition, volunteers are receiving less in return for their generous donation of labour. The new meal tickets entitle volunteers to a main meal and soup or dessert, whereas previously volunteers were given a dessert and a drink in addition to a soup and main meal. One of the aims of the Collective was to promote equality in the work place and do away with repressive skill-based hierarchies. The Collective achieved this by promoting volunteer access to all front of house aspects of the restaurant. If someone wanted to work in the cafe, for example, they could simply walk in and offer their assistance. Those without previous experience were walked through the operation of the caf^, and for the most part were able to learn on the job. The effect of this was simple: it made everyone feel as though they had a part to play in Wholefoods and that their contributions were always welcome. And it was precisely this kind of work environment that made Wholefoods such a great place to eat at, or simply just to while away the time between lectures. You CAN CHOOSE FRIENDS, YOUR BUT CAN'T CHOOSE YOU YOUR COLLECTIVE In the view of the Collective, the new program runs counter to the aims of the restaurant and is divisive, exploitative and restrictive. The Collective believes that it has no recourse but to disband in order to show its disgust at the actions of the Board and to bring these actions to the attention of all students. If you would like to know more about the issue, or you would like to get involved, don't hesitate to ask any member of the Friends of Wholefoods. Andrew Saunders and Simon Saunders The Wholefoods Collective Disbands MAKE A BIG SPLASH THIS SPRING! Water aerobics ' ' - '.^ Swimming lessons •' j Sauna, spa & steamroom All at subsidised prices for students Special: Swimwear & Beachwear Clearance Sale ,c\a\ D^^^^ ""^Ki. D o u g ElUs e>fun Surimniiiig P o o l EkMjtiirics: 9905 4115 9905 4118 $PORTl§» AND RECREATIOIir CEJCTRE MOHTASH UOTVERSrrr CIATTOJSr Non-CAF Funded Don't c\ean your teeth with glue. Non-CAF Funded Non-CAF Funded Eisoan page 21 ooinion& THE WIZARD The crash-landing of Johnny's house, which managed to crush a student, an unemployed person, a pensioner, an Aboriginal, an Asian migrant and the Australian music industry, left Johnny pretty frightened. The conserva tive tornado had caused considerable damage, and he was just about out of public assets and native forests to sell. "Oh my goodness!" exclaimed the short, bespectacled nerd, "whatever shall I do?" DF Dx They agreed to proceed to meet the Wizard of OxIey, whose compound was now within sight. "Go and see the Wizard of Oxiey," piped a helium-breathing dwarf from behind a lollipop, who obviously worked for the Murdoch press, "she'll know what to do." The group finally meandered to the wizard's throne room in the extremities of the right wing of the complex. The Wizard of Oxie/s Image beamed at them from a huge video screen with an ACA logo in the corner. "Go away," shrieked the wizard, to the group's disappointment. "Gee whiz," chirped Johnny, "what a terrific ideal" He asked the tabloid-sized journalist how to find this great wizard. "lust follow the yellow brick road," he said, in a chararteristically simplistic manner. "Ifs paved with the Reserve Bank gold that Costello sold to fund his budget porkbarrelling." Johnny eventually stepped forward to stammer a response to the wizard, "But we've come such a long way, O Mighty Wizard. And we were prepared to shift all the way across the spectrum just to bow before you." "Sounds reasonable," thought Johnny, and off he headed. He hadn't got tenibly far when he came across a singing scarecrow. "I don't care," shrieked the wizard. "If you don't go, I'll get the police to ride their horses over you." "My bootscootin' baby is drivin' me crazy..." sang the scarecrow as he flopped about to a rJiythm comprehended by no one but him. He quickly stopped when he noticed Johnny, and blushed slightly. "Hi, I'm Tim," said the scarecrow. "Where are you headed?" The group's hearts sank. Johnny turned to leave, but waited for Tim the scarecrow, who was trying to get his foot out of his mouth. Suddenly, the scarecrow tripped, and tumbled into a screen, knocking it over. The group gasped at the sight of the two men now before them, one of whom was working the video equipment, while the other had his hand up the bum of a redhaired puppet. Johnny, determined to get his answer, now addressed the man with his hand up the puppet. "I wonder if you can help me," he said, "I was hoping the wizard could give me some advice to fix the trouble I've caused," "I'm off to see the Wizard of OxIey to ask her how to rescue myself from all the damage I've caused," replied Johnny. The scarecrow beamed at the mention of the wizard's name. "Can I come too?" he asked excitedly. "I haven't got a brain, and I wanted to ask the wizard for one. I've heard she's really smart." The two men in the control room looked at each other and grinned at their incredible luck with this guy's stupidity. "Stick with us son," one of them said to Johnny, "we'll fix everything," And that was good enough for Johnny, "She does seem to be," agreed Johnny. "And you're such a good dancer, I'd love it if you'd come along with me. You can be my deputy." The new friends did not get far before they came across a tin man with a scary goatee who was chopping down trees. They asked him what he was doing. Adam McBeth "I'm just giving the environment minister a hand with his portfolio," replied the tin man, "after all, it's not like my education portfolio requires much attention." He offered Johnny his hand. "I'm David," he said. "I'm Johnny," replied the geek, "and this is Tim. We're off to see the Wizard of OxIey. I need some advice, and Tim wants a brain." "I wonder if I could come," said the tin man, putting down his axe. "She might be able to give me a heart," "The source of what and what?" asked Johnny. "They're emotions," explained the tin man. "They help you to consider the consequences of your decisions for others." iiiiji»mjiiiji»iBiiii:ijjiHii-m ^inj^erFaze Donee party "You seem to be doing pretty well in your education portfolio without one," shrugged Johnny, "and I bet the environment minister appreciates your contribution," he added, gesturing towards the sea of tree stumps where a forest had stood only hours earlier, "Give you a what?" asked Johnny, puzzled. "A heart," said the tin man, indicating the place in his chest where it should have been. "You know, the source of love and compassion." inU page 22 "Do you think I could come anyway? I've always been a bigfanof the wizard's," "I don't see why not," said Johnny. The scarecrow flopped his head in agreement. liSMiMJfldlUl«[4.l I never f o r g e t a face, b u t in your case. I'll make an exception. _^ opinions CLINTON'S There are two things apparent from the Clinton-Lewinski affair. The first is that leadership is still related to sexual prowess and politics remains a man's game. The second is that the world is getting screwed while we read who our male leaders are screwing. Clinton is not the first president to be promiscuous and assert his power through the conquering of women. )FK was an amazingly prolific adulterer who took some of the most attractive women of histimfeas partners. These two leaders are most notable examples of how a powerful position can be used to obtain sex, and how being sexually successful can reinforce leadership. And this is where women find it more difficult to be perceived as leaders. Women cannot claim seductions as evidence of their power. When Cheryl Kernot had a relationship with a younger man it was largely condemned as inappropriate behavior for a woman of her age. Her affair was used to undermine her image whereas Clinton's conquests, while being used against him politically, do not see him morally condemned. It seems that the American people aren't pleased with Clinton's inner office affairs but that they would be disappointed in a President who didn't have a bit on the side, or couldn't attract women. The President has to be a family man with a supportive wife, but he also has to be a man's man - be able to hold his own and get someone to suck it too. This perception of power and sex helps to prevent women from becoming leaders; women can't make jokes with the boys about girls and sex, it's not their place; women can't afford to be seen with anyone other than their husband or partner, otherwise they're unfaithful; women can't be known to be promiscuous, because then arncE INNER they're sluts and untrustworthy. Sexual prowess enhances a male's leadership but It destroys a female's credibility. Clinton is partly damaged, partly applauded for his escapades, but if Hillary was screwing her secretary, she wouldn't last a day. Now the second point. While the world watches Lewinski give evidence against Clinton, a few things seem lo be ignored. In the trial itself, little information is given on who Lewinski is, her own troubled history and what she is gaining from making these claims. While Lewinski's claims must be heard and justice given to her, she cannot be impervious to criticism and analysis. Further, little thought seems to be given to how the Right in America may be manipulating this incident to bring down a successful Democrat leader. If Clinton is guilty of receiving oral sex from a staff member, then he deserves whatever punishment'the American people deem appropriate. His punishment should be for his crime, not for his political achievements. The most disturbing thing about the sexual harassment case is that while people watch a seemingly unstable woman take down a hard-working social reformer, they aren't watching the wodd around them. Far more media coverage has been given to where the President puts his todger than to where the US has placed their missiles. A nuclear arms race has developed on the Subcontinent and the UN is still having problems inspecting Iraq's production of biological weapons, but the headlines are firmly focused on Monica and Little Elvis (Bill's nickname for his appendage). Perspective on what really matters for the US and the globe has been lost; lifeendangering politics has been eclipsed by a minor scandal. Here's hoping that the world is not blown away before Bill is, in his private study. 'Thumbs up for going down! Jacqui Cameron EYELINE O P T I C A L Johnson & Johnson ACUVUE 371 CLAYTON RD CLAYTON PHONE 9543 6641 Disposable Contact Lenses RRP $47.00 • Clayton Rd. (per 6 pack) LIbrwy, ^^ Ctayton Plaza walk ttiru. EVELINE OPTICAL ASK HOW YOU CAN EVEN MORE WITH OUR FREQUENT PURCHASE PROGRAM Centra Rd. ' ' MWGvisnnsioc ooinion& JDLLY Stephen Jolly has come under critical scrutiny from the mainstream press recently. As the national secretary of the Militant Socialist Organisation, he has been instrumental in what are perceived to be unduly violent tactics in opposing One Nation and its supporters. Karl Rapp interviewed Stephen lolly to find out why he is so concerned about Pauline Hanson and the rise of the right-wing in Australia. ANGRV How would you best describe the Militant organisation? It's the Australian wing of the Committee for a Worl<ers International, which is an alliance of left-wing parties in over 30 countries. Our ideas are based on the theories and method of Marx, Engels, Lenin and Trotsky - applied critically of course to the modern world, not like a tablet of stone from Moses. Our basic program includes: the principle of free education for all, from child care to university; a 35 hour week without loss of pay to share out available; voting age reduced to 16; legalisation of marijuana and the state distribution of heroin to addicts to cut out black market and stop people being forced towards crime to feed a habit. Finally, the nationalisation under workers control of the top 150 companies that control 80% of GDP so that a socialist, environmentally sound, job creating economic plan can be developed. \'mw\- Why is Militant so concerned about the Pauline Hanson and the One Nation phenomenon? People are increasingly pissed off with the major parties after two decades of economic rationalism. One Nation are trying to capitalise on this mood. But their policies would replace a class struggle with racial division. This has happened in my home country (Ireland) and really fucked us up - Catholic workers shooting Protestant workers and vice versa, while the arms dealers and politicians rub their hands and count their dollars. It's a race against time to win over the disaffected workers and students to socialist ideas. How does Militant believe that Pauline Hanson and her One Nation Party can best be opposed? By getting out onto the streets, in the media, and on people's doorsteps to deconstruct her ideas - both the racist and the populist calls for extra tariffs, a People's Bank, etc. Migrants create jobs (by boosting demand in the economy the mi nute they step off the plane) so the whole idea of cutting immigration until unemployment eases is a slap in the face of reality. Extra tariffs would lead to devastating retaliation and price rises. We shouldn't try to export our economic crisis, but help Asian trade unions in their stnjggle for justice so as these workers can't be used as cheap labour to undercut workers here. At her meetings, we don't agree with beating up her members but instead talking to them and winning them over. We have organised strikes, public meetings, done heaps of media work, and debated with One Nation leaders to expose their ideas and offer a better alternative. The rallies outside her meetings are an important but small part of the strategy to destroy racism. Does Pauline Hanson have the right to free speech? Are protesters denying her that right? Pauline Hanson exercises her right to free speech every day; she only has to fart and it gets in the paper. We [Militanfi only get mainstream media exposure if there are allegations of violence. So the whole argument that we are denying her the right of free speech is a joke. We support free speech, but there are times when free speech comes up against the rights of the majority. For example, if a German Nazi in the 1930s calls for the murder of jews, do we support his/her right to free speech? We say no. But in the Australia of 1998 lk!bUll<!b!U.IUM4< page 24 !*]iMi!fldliikt^ ISESBSiSG our focus is not on denying free speech to One Nation, but on taking up their ideas and offering an alternative. How do you respond to the criticism that Militant members are "hooligans" and that Stephen Jolly incites them to violence? The violence seen at Richmond Secondary College in 1993, at the ACI picket line in 1996, at the Tasty Nightclub all came from the Victorian Police. It's a scandal that we have been given this tag of being violent. It's a way of deflecting attention away from our ideas. I have never been convicted of any offence and was only arrested once, at Albert Park, for trespass during a protest. I and 102 others were found not guilty and had costs awarded our way. Next April our civil action case begins in court for massive damages against the police for their behaviour on the baton charge at Richmond. Do you believe that it is possible to engage Pauline Hanson and the One Nation members in "rational dialogue" concerning racism and cultural parociiialismf Not Hanson, but some One Nation supporters. Still, we're happy to debate with One Nation leaders and have done so on many occasions, including the Midday Show, 3LO, 3AW, and Today Tonight. How do you perceive the immediate future of the Australian political climate? Australia i» waking up politically. People are getting more interested in politics and fighting for change. Those who thought they could ignore politics (which unfortunately includes many students) are finding that politics will not ignore them. If we don't build a new socialist party to chal lenge the ALP on the left, angry people may increasingly turn to the right. Pauline Hanson won't go away through wishful thinking, but only through the hard work of building an alternative. How do you judge the government's current lack of leadership and direction on this issue? Is silence an appropriate method of combating the newly emergent right? An ostrich-style approach to One Nation or neo-Nazi groups like National Action is ahistorical. Look at the experience in Germany, where Hitler himself said the massive Communist Party could have smashed the National Socialists early in the piece if they had have had more militant leadership and created a united front with the other left party, the Social Democrats. Leaving the fight against One Nation to the major parties, even leaders like Kennett and Beazley who have come out in words against her, would ' also be a mistake. Their policies of job shedding and spending cuts have created the social conditions that breed racism. To paraphrase Malcolm X, as long as you have capitalism, you will have racism. for those interested in finding out more about Stephenjolty and/or Militant: Militant PO Box 1015, Collingwood, 3066 Phone: (03) 9650-0160 E-mail: [email protected] Website: http://werple.net.au/~militant m,u'MMiM»mmami^mma^m^tmM Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here. DQimons SUSTAINING In the break between semesters, the T998 Students and Sustainability Conference was held at the Uni of Tasmania in Hobart. Being one of several Mona^sh students to attend this 6-700 person strong experience, I return with a personal tale of what I got out of it. Each year, Students and Sustainability draws hundreds of students from around Australia together to learn about and discuss ways by which we might improve the world presented to us. It is a huge collection of people, both in terms of numbers and in terms of the kinds of people who attend. What was common to'all was a sense of personal involvement. Each person was there to learn how we can improve things, based on a recognition that there is much to be done, and the belief that "sustainability" is important, in all senses of the word. Apart from all of the workshops, the plenaries, the amazing slide-shows and stories that so many people had, and the sheer enormity of information and passion and life in the people at this conference, what I really want to talk about was how it felt, and what it meant to me to be a part of this atmosphere, and how it made me see a few things so differently and yet so easily. I have never been very deeply involved in any activist group. My resistance to the mainstream and the mundane commodification of contemporary life has mainly been in my head. Like many of us in modern society I suspect, I have felt pretty hopeless that I can make much of a personal difference at the level of my everyday existence. Recycling is about as close as environmentalism seems to get to many people's lifestyles. I was'a'little unsure, to be honest, in going to the conference,'as to what kind of people would be there, knowing little other than what I'd been told by the friend who recommended it. My first surprise was to hear that more than 600 were expected plus locals, and that the spread from around Australia was pretty extensive. Many more students headed North to support the Mirrar people in ihe fight to prevent the opening of Jabiluka uranium mine, claiming several of our own (as did the Police in several instances). I was looking forward to a week of plentiful and delicious vegetarian food, created by a local chef, in the most hearty and delectable style. Despite the rather gloomy prognoses of the challenges that meet any attempt to humanise our society's path and improve our chances of seeing earth's species thrive/survive, it was an incredibly uplifting experience for me. Why? Because out of that conference I learned something that I plan to never forget. It is something that I have heard said before, but in retrospect perhaps never understood. It is thai only when we take personal responsibility can we be truly free. Only when we stop killing other beings directly and indirectly can we claim to be guiltless, and even then, there is a myriad of other little injustices we inflict indirectly upon others. It is no use to claim that there is no reason to feel guilty. Our guilt is systematic. STUDENTS If you eat meat, then every time you do so you have been directly and indirectly responsible for the pain of that animal. And probably also their miserable and inhumane life. The destruction and cruelty perpetrated in fisheries is no better. It is estimated that around 100 million sharks are finned and then dumped back into the waters to die every year. Such practices are endemic, encouraged and legitimated by our ignorance and continued consumption. This is no isolated case, but the point is this: it's not about being guiltless. When one really gets down to it not one of us can escape hypocrisy. We all enjoy the benefits of economic growth, tolerating to varying degrees the injustices and soul destructions that are traded for our comfort. Cynical or apathetic means that you've given up, and with it given up part of your potential for experiencing a full life. Perhaps little can be done but accept it and minimise it. But what is better: to be committed to high values and accept when we must fall short of them in practice, or to be consistent in a philosophy of self service and relativism? Life is complicated and often contradictory. As was pointed out so powerfully at S&S, adversity makes us appreciate and often enjoy what we have so much more. For me now, it's about being aware of the reality of our actions, not just the bits that we want to hear. Only when you're willing to change personally do we ever have the chance to really be open, free people. Only then can we be responsible for ourselves, to our families, and ultimately for the planet. What S&S taught me is that we change the world by changing ourselves. We only ever find what we stumble over, seek, or have thrust at us from outside. I hope that one day we each get the chance to make a positive difference to the world. I'm trying right now, everyday. Everyday I think about the next step that I might take. Matt Ford MONASH DRIVING SCHOOL • Established 1961 USSONS SEVEN DJIVS A WEEK MANUAL OR AUTO PATIENT LADY a GENT INSTRUCTORS SPECIALISING IN OVERSEAS CHANGE-OVER UCENCES OVER 30.000 SATISRED CLIENTS Discounts for Students and Staff 6184 9803 6179 P H O N E : 9803 Not ivith the good scissors. page 25 Oi^l^ptt l/z^riA^ Cp^e^M^ve^ l^nint^-j Ti^^-^^t^ OxrvMi. e4f\ tnxn^ TTiank-you to all of the wonderful people who submitted entries to our competition. Unfortunately, we could only have one winner. Congratulations to R . 5 . (you know who you are). If you would like to come to the Lot's Office to collect your prize^ come and sec Michelle. C^ntjii^M TVtwi- hfik^t^jt^lj This is just to say This is just to say I have eaten The plums That were in The icebox 1 have severed The brake lines That were on The car wheels And which You were probably Saving For your breakfast U pon which You were probably Relying To stop the car Forgive me They were delicious So sweet So cold. Forgive me I'm psychopathic So disturbed But so young. 1 have broken the nose that was on the redneck ptrfrMi, 1 his is just to say 1 have poured Hot coffee On the VIP customer Sitting by the window and which you Avere obviously admiring in your inebriation This is just to say I have mangled Your heart That was in My keeping I have taped over The Friends tape That was in The video And which You were probably Hoping I would cherish And which You were probably Saving For this evening Forgive me It was so easy So quick So cruel. Forgive me I taped South Park It's so funny So clever. This is just to say This is just to say 1 have missed The deadline To put in The article 1 have pawned The ring That was on M y finger Which You were probably Needing For this edition With which You were promising Love For our lifetimes Forgive me I was so busy So tired So stressed. Forgive me It was valuable So expensive So much cash. Kathryn James pul yoar finger oat ATTENTION SHORT STORy WRITERS! And which He will probably Suffer Forgive me he was a dickhead so arrogant so lame Amy This is just to say From immeasurably Cj/ton Forgive me But understand he Was so annoying So deserving. Express Media and Lot's W/e very cheerily present T I N Y EPICS - A national university short story competition. published in all participating newspapers and in Voiceworks. Four runners-up wi II receive $15 - $50" and a subscription to Voiceivorks. Entrants must: • be under 15 keep to a i/Ooo word limit ' submit entries to the Zof'5 office by 18 September the amount of prize money depends on the number of newspapers entering the competition. Bianco Lotve The winner will receive $150 - $500'/ a subscription to Voiceworks Magazine, and will have their story page 26 PS. If you are interested in reviewing some books/ please come in to the Lot's office and see l<obi or Michelle, because we have lots to give away! I bought powdered water the other day, but I don't know what to £ Your comprehensive guide to a social CLUBS AND SOCIETIES Bushwalking Club Thermal Ball 27 August Monash Association of Debaters Annual Dinner 28 August, 6.30 pm King Bo Restaurant $28 memlwrs, $30 Monash students $35 other Contact 9905 1509 for tickets ILSA Annual Dinner 5 September Clubs and Societies AGM (compulsory attendance for clubs) 8 September I - 2 pm R4 Biological Society Annual Dinner II September AMMS AMMS Ball 11 September Philharmonic Society Concert 12 September, 8 pm MLC Auditorium Contact Crystal 9544 2090 Koori-Gubbah Club Koori Weelt 14- 18 September MUMUS Med Ball 15 September LSS Law Ball 17 September MSA Monash Postgraduate Association The MPA is looking for articles (max. 1300 words), quotes, jokes, .stories - anything capturing student life. The theme is 'linking postgraduates' and you will be published in Compass '99. Submissions to MPA office by 28 September, or call Fiona ext 51384. ACTIVITIES Stevie Starr 26 August Lunchtime Free beer Return of the Green Week Cellar Night 26 August Cellar Room SRA CLUBS Men's Cricket Club Training Every Wednesday, 6 - 8 pm Main Rec Hall, Sports 7 Rec pERfORJVliNG ARTS ALEXANDER TflEATRE Just a gentle reminder that the Alex reserves eight tickets for student rush, at $10, for every performance of it's Fit For Life season (ie. Closer and Corrugation Road) Lockie Leonard Scumbuster 29 August, 2 pm Theatre South Closer 1 - 5 September Corrugation Road 15 - 19 September Robert Blackwood Hall ROBERT RELIGIOUS CENTRE Free Lunchtime Concert series I.10-2pm Mogilevsky Duo 27 August La Compania 3 September Harpsicotd Duo 10 September . Organ - Thomas Heywood 17 September Trc Fbntane, Feast of Fools 24 September STUDENT THEATRE Bookings: 9905 3108 e-mail: [email protected] Kvetch & Acapuico 2 - 5 September, 8 pm 112 price matinee 4 September, 2pm Adult $9 Concession $7 Drama Theatre, PAC Noraa - A Musical Drama 25 - 29 August, 8pm Adult $15, Cone $10 Drama Theatre, PAC DrauRen vor der Tiir (The Man Outside) Performed in German (English translations available for loan from the Student Theatre office). 19-22 August, 26-28 August, 8 pm Adult$12($10prebooked) Conc$10($8prebooked) Student Theatre Space Comedy Revue Prime Alien Carcass 2 - 5 & 9 - 12 September, 8 pm Student Theatre Space Full $8, Cone $7, Players $6 Bookings 9905 3108 First five people to present this edition of Lot's Wife at the Student Theatre Office will win double passes to opening night.Julius Caesar 9 - 12 September Adult $15, Cone $12 Beckett Theatre, CUB Malthouse Vinegar Tom 2 and 9 Oct Adult $15; Cone $10 outside Engineering Bldg 60,8pm life. A Lady Mislaid Performed at Mannix College 8-12 September See poster for details. Free \Ux Ticket* lb win one of four double passes to the following plays, go to the Box Office at the Alexander Theatre at 9:30am and do the following; Closer - say to the box office ladies, 'I lovecybersex'. Opening night, Tuesday September I. Corrugation Road - name the play that was previously created by the creators of Corrugation Road. Opening night: Tuesday September 15 (Hint: The answer is in the Alexander Theatre season booklet available at the theatre). roRujvts The Phantom Body 18, 19, 23-26 September 8.30 pm All tickets $10 Student Theatre Space The BU Benefit 'Celebrate Your Natural Shape' Presented by the Anorexia & Bulimia Foundations of Victoria The Metro Nightclub Sunday August 30, l-6pm Tickets $20 (15$ for unwaged) Ph: Ticketmaster on 136100 Little Fish 18,19, 25,.26 September 6.30 pm 23 - 25 September I pm II November, 8pm Entertainment includes: The Mavis's, Rebecca's Empire (well, most of them), Tiddas, Monique Brumby, Wendy Rule, Tuff Muff, Women in Uniform, Edwina Preston, Ruby Doomsday & Mint A Minor Service For Monash Students BLACKWOOD 'Q.M'T^ only Handel's Messiah 10 November, 8pm For all your servicing needs Bral<es Mechanical repairs Manufacturer's handbook servicing Dynotunes.. .carburettor/ EFI / LPG We wash and vacuum your vehicle Choral Series 5 11 November, 8pm Melbourne Symphony Orchestra 13 November, 8pm Conductor: Hiro Iwaki Violin: Pekka Kuusislo GLINKA Ruslan and Ludmila BRAHMS Violin Concerto STRAVINSKY Petnishk Pon't vomit on concreX^ if you have been drinking red wine. It stains. $49 FREE PICK-UP AND DELIVERY Oakleigh:John - 9568 4911 Clayton: Steve - 9545 6066 33 Warrigal Rd 136 Centre Rd rpaoe aSbun ravel in Concentration across the globe yet evidently a place where people Humiliation and dehumanisation of the prisoners lived, were born, got married and even took holidays, I seemed to be a high priority for the Nazis. The rows of men with shaved heads, prison uniforms, gaunt faces suppose. and no expressions, simply didn't seem human As the bus drove back to the city, grandpa and I walked anymore; such that killing one of these persons devoid slowly together. I imagined that the camp hadn't of everything, including almost a face, seemed to be an changed much in some sixty-five years. We marched iricreasingly easier task for the Nazis. The twenty or so through the wide concrete and pebble path flanked by toilets In each of the huts were inches apart with no a large concrete fence and for me, this confirmed just doors, let alone seats. Stripped of dignity, starving and where I was. I could almost feel the cool chill of winter on the verge of death. Photograph upon photograph. I as the guardsman kept eager watch. Inhaling his felt myself beginning to cry. cigarette in the cold. The February air outside seemed a million light years Spanning the width of the camp and what I assumed away The museum seemed to have had the same was a couple of hundred metres in length, the main profound effect on both grandpa and myself. The building - now a museum - in its drab colour scheme crematorium of Dachau and the gas chambers are of concentration camp grey, stood watching the whole situated at the far end of the camp. Two incidents here camp. A giant chess piece that had never moved. Side stuck out in my mind. The first was the actual by side, grandpa and I began our journey through the crematorium - that abominable place where some thirty documents, photographs and remnants of the camp thousand bodies were roasted. One of them was a that were on display The first part of the museum British spy She was of Indian origin and a woman. I (literally meaning its main showed us various superimposed photographs, remember feeling a microscopic association with her. railway station) is like a heart. It beats with a curious documents, advertisements and articles giving a She must have felt so out of place to die here. The second Munich's Hauptbanhhof incessance day and night. Venous-like tracks bring a historical background to the Third Reich. Yet none of incident was of a more humorous nature. As I stepped plethora of commuters from such cites as Vienna, Paris the black and white photos, no translations or letters into the gas chambers of Dachau (never originally used) and Geneva. And there are thousands of people provided greater impact than a few words by the I turned to wait for grandpa to follow me. His moment of reverently waiting for a numerical signal - the meeting German poet, Heinrich Heine, written in 1820. 'This utter hesitation and wonderment was fantastically and of two hands on a clock that signals their departure as was but a prelude; where books are burnt, human humorously reassuring in that most human of ways. they step onto the great platforms and are whisked away beings will be bumf in the end." to Venice, Rome, Warsaw... until the next heavy beat of this mechanical heart. Santayana is quoted as saying 'Those who cannot The rest of the tour through the museum is hard to remember the past are condemned to repeal it'. The describe. I can describe what I saw but the emotions eternity we have to wait for the bus to take us back to I was underdressed for the cold. My mind floated away I experienced can in no form be translated to anyone Dachau (the town), the train ride to the hotel and the for a desperate instant and I was home in Melbourne else. I glanced at the other visitors to the camp nature of the train station reinforced in my mind one with my best friend I had left behind. I could almost feel museum. I wondered what they were thinking. Had thing - that humanity's future, which for each of us starts myself sweating as I pictured us trying to get to sleep. they ever seen such a sickening today can only be better than its past. Unreality glossed everything. I simply wanted to flee. To representation of death like this before? historical Nick Schaerf get out of this forsaken amalgamation of stern people, recycled air and harsh syllables. The previous evening I led my grandparents to the Munich tourist information centre. 'Humiliation and dehumanisation of the prisoners seemed to be a high priority for the Nazis.' 'We'd like some information regarding a visit to the Dachau concentration camp,' I hurriedly translated in my steadily improving German. The lady slumped behind the desk peered at me with disapproving eyes. She answered my request with almost Gaelic disdain. 'It's called a memorial,' she insisted condescendingly. For some unknown reason I thought of a field of poppies. 'Memorial' Is such a soft, almost tranquil word. 'Yes', I continued. We're just wondering the best way to get to the concentration camp.' I didn't mean to antagonise her. 'It's not a concentration camp. Not to our generation. It's a memorial.' I remember seeing the sign at the railway station for the first time. DACHAU. A word synonymous with death all page 28 •j^/f-t ^ ' '\^-i*f" tp Travelling Tips When planning your trip, my first advice Is to avoid this type of person. They are generally boring, full of themselves and are not fooling anybody. Travelling is hard work but there is no mystery attout it. There are just a few things you need to know. I have designed a list forfirst-timers,particulariy those who are going solo. No matter how you want to play this trip (even if the idea is to sit in a tree in Israel and chant mantras) you will not go anywhere without a few essentials. These include: Passport: For any legal travel outside Australia you will need a passport. It does not necessarily have to be an Australian passport, but it does need to be valid for the duration of your trip and often for six months afterwards. To get a passport you need two passport-size photos (hence the name), birth certificate or other (D proving you are an Australian citizen, $126, and you will need to get someone official to verify the form. Application forms are available from the Post Office and can be lodged there. It usually takes ten working days to process so allow some time, partrcularly if you need to get visas as well. Once you have your passport hang onto it and turn away from enticing offers to sell it to some cagey Egyptian offering you 2000 camels. Although its tempting to cash it in and declare it lost to the embassy, it's really not a good thing to be in a foreign land without some identification and ifs even worse to be in a foreign jail without one. I !&.UQL (most tickets are valkj for a year). Shop around and start knking eariy - your ticket m\\ be the most painful purchase so give it some thought. for Tertiary Trippers: Part 1 There is nothing to travel,right?Ask any veteran traveiler. Their eyes wiii light up. the voice becomes soft and you will get a whole monologue littered with words like "freedom", "flow", "buzz", "vibe" and "oneness". Push for specifics, such as how to book a plane ticket, and the guru will become agitated and vague, annoyed at having to explain the menial details. The problem is that, to the experienced traveller the world is neatly divided into those who can and those who can't; and people who don't know where to get a passport fall straight into the second category. roao© injections: This is an area that can cause furious debate amongst medical practitioners and if you do go to more than one doctor, they are sure to disagree on the type of medication you will need. I met these two New Yorkers in India who arrived unprotected because their doctor was convinced that India was diseasefree (he probably thought they'd said Indiana). There is a benchmari< body in l\4elboume called the Travellers Medical aiKl Vaccination Centre (phone: 9602 3788), that will be able lo give you a yes or no, and they are probably the best people to see. They can also give you a yellow card which is an internationallyrecognized certification of the injections you have had. This is often a good idea in places like India where they have routine immunization checkpoints: a process where passengers of a vehicle get pulled up and jabbed with a needle (the same needle, it is said) unless they can prove that they have been immunized beforehand. For more informalKin about Passports call the hotline on: 131 232 Visa: Generally it seems that the mder Australia Is to a country, the more likely you will need a visa or permit to go there. Take France, for example, where, until recently, only Australians and a few other disagreeable nations were forced to purchase a visa (and an expensive one at that). To find out whether you need a visa, the best people to speak to are travel agents or the relevant embassy. Never assume you don't need one - 1 have seen several people gel turned back at Customs and miss their flighls. If it turns out you do need one, be warned: diplomats are harder to catch than academics and are not ashamed to keep hours between 12:30pm and 1:00pm. Even with all this spare time, it still takes ages (up to three weeks in some cases) to process your application, so be organized and get in eariy. Sometimes the travel agent will process it for you for about $10, which may be a good idea, unless you really dig embassies. By the way, don't panic if you change your mind during the trip and decide that all along you really did want lo go to Bangladesh. You can apply for a visa in practically any country and sometimes it is even cheaper than doing it from home. Plane Ticket: Australia is probably one of the worst places in the worid to buy an airiine ticket - tmst me - you will kick yourself when you see the prices overseas. How much you pay at home really depends on the nature of your trip. If you are going for some time and plan to wori( etc, then it's best to keep the ticket-buying at this end to a minimum. You will undoubtedly see better prices while you are away and you don't want lo be stuck to arigidschedule if you have no idea where you are going. On the other hand, if you are the orderiy type and like planning, it's best to do it from home, where you are less likely to be burnt by last-minute airfares and sold-out flights. If you fall into the third category (ie. orderiy type who transforms into freedom loving hippie while travelling) don't despair even if you have bought a ticket it is often partially refundable and you can always change the date without being penalized Backpack: You don't have to have a backpack to be a backpacker Some people love their suitcases and others swear by sausage bags. The advantage of a backpack is that your hands are free, and this is a good thing in vehicles and for pushing through crowds. Most backpacks cost around $300 to $400 and they come with all sorts of special offers and guarantees. Try to get one that is waterproof and really strong. Packs that can be locked are also useful and side-pockets can be a plus for things like cameras and food. The harness is also really important: you are going to carry that thing a lot, especially if you are by yourself, you really will need it to fit well. Disposal stores and travel/camping type places generally sell backpacks. In the next edition of Lot's, I'll take you through: § Money Belt or Neck Carriers § Money § Insurance § Luggage, and § Other Essentials In the meantime, happy travelling! Jess Stokes R6cf hot P^S\CL M#€ieeeeeeeeaee 1^ ^^ SHRED FOR BREAD Full time students can work, ski and play in the USA £ ^ ^^7 S A Work Experience USA gets you the job of your choice at the ski resort of your choice. You have ^ B y^ the chance to work in a fully paid job at top US ski resorts. We have over 1000 positions available ^ f W 1^ for enthusiastic students. Contracts will be here for you to sign before you depart. We have the ^ ^ - K ^ ^B cheapest air fares and a no hassel-all inclusive package. W'^k 1^ Warning: New US laws relating to work-exchange visas require that you must have a job before ^ ^ 3 | ^ departing for the US. Anyone attempting to enter without a job will be denied entry. The best way / ^ ^ ^ ^W ,to avoid this is by simply joining the only program that gets the job for you. ^ ^ ^ ^ Work Experience USA. ^IJ^ hen you can have peace of mind and extra $$ in your pocket. ^ : an application form call us FREE on 1800 675 054 rite to Lvl 7, 428 George St, Sydney, 2000 W^B /'Wk, 4 H ^ ExS^incE'®^®^^ OQSzS^ ss^sssm Bss^st^sdeeai ^'i'kh STP^ TtaviK HOng Kong Singapore BOngieOte $885 $699 $689 K u a i Q LUmpur $729 BQIl $849 (inci airfare, 7 nts accom, & transfers) You'll finrf us at: Union Building IVlonash University Clayton Vic 3168 Tel: 9905 3128 ok computer Curhsfty Killed the tfet ClVlI U n r C S t We all know that the internet Is leading the way in 'new age' technology, it is providing avenues for communication that, in the past, were only ever dreamed of. But, at the same time, the internet is providing an atmosphere of 'novelty' and 'opportunism' for many. O n e need look n o further than sites on the web such as Jennycam to sec such self-promotion in action. For those w h o don't know, Jennycam is a site set up by a college student in America that consists of photos of her daily life. A camera sits in the corner of her room and every two minutes or so a new image is put o n the internet. She could be doing anything at the time from getting dressed, to eating, to having sex and it wouldn't matter, TTie pictures go on regardless. A cultural study? Hardly. Speaking of sex, in Lght of the mother w h o gave birth live on the internet, there was a young American couple claiming that they wanted to lose their vapinty together in cyberspace, It was later revealed that they were, in fact, actors involved in an elaborate scheme to try and fool more people than O r s o n Wells' classic radio presentation of War of the Worlds. They attempted to justify their charade by claiming their actions were in the name of safe sex, and the site is in fact littered with c o n d o m advertisements. But, despite their illegitimacy, the question must still be asked - why is this happening? What is it about the internet that promotes or encourages such behaviour? Is it the accessibilit)' of the medium, or is it more a problem within our societj'? There are so many questions it is often hard to know where to start. Rather than looking at the system behind setting up an individual site and how that process should be policed, it is more interesting to try and determine why people do it. These attention seekers are becoming the tabloids of the internet And we, the greater population, arc suckers. We watch because, as with anything else, h u m a n nature includes curiosity. What is even m o r e worrying than these past attempts is the probabilit)' of more antics to come. Where will this curiosity lead? We've had the first b i n h in cyberspace, so who's lo say that the first death isn't next? Imagine it, 'login Tuesday for the first live suicide on the internet'. T h e fact of the matter is, society has found a new t^gion in which to push the cultural boundaries, and they are willing to g o all the way. It is time for people to stop and consider the effect of their acuons. It is time for the setting of guidelines and, at least, the sparking of debate. Claire Mammond The Computer Game Review Ever wondered who'd fare better in a balls- t h a t t h e g a m e ' s l o n g - t e r m playability was and-all biffo between English soccer hooligans compromised by clear power disparities between and South Korean student protestors? If you many of the major characters. For example, the have, you've ob\'iously got way too much time effectiveness of the Toorak Trots' singing of on your hands. Rjrtunatcly, there is a solution — the Internationale was substantially diminished suicide. However, failing that, you can now sate once my English soccer hooligans had whipped your bloodlust by purchasing a copy of out their front Ctw'/ teeth with bike chains. Unrest, the spectacular new splatierfest by our Moreover, the over-hyped clash between the good friends at Cyberpath Entertainment. Civi/ Gympie G u n Enthusiasts and the Byron-Bay Unrest is a 3D, multi-pIaycr extravaganza that Nose Ring-Fanciers turned out to be a gross takes the Mortal Comhat principle one step further disappointment, with neither side functioning by giving the player control of not just o n e effectively o n c e b o t h s e m i - a u t o m a t i c s and psychopath, but rather an entire clan of crowbar welfare payments had been withdrawn by the wielding, beer-guzzling, boot-wearing nutjobs. government. T h e main objective of the game is to maim as many people as possible whilst attracting more T h e aforementioned criticisms notwithstanding, media coverage than your competitors, and as I found Civil Unrest to be a genumely satisfying such is very similar to Cyberpath's JV/ffC/Vy-style game that combined dark political satire with g o v e r n m e n t s i m u l a t o r . Crackpot Coalition. lashings of slapstick h u m o u r . It dishes o u t Crackpot enough bloodshed to put a smile o n the face of Coalition inasmuch as the player begins with anyone who spent ttjo many Saturday afternoons However, Civil Unrest differs from minimal resources, and must pick up weapons at h o m e alone as an adolescent. So for all those and extremist political views throughout the budding political a g i s t o r s out there, I say, "Stick course of the game. the b o o t in!" and b o o t up Civil Unrest, post haste! Whilst I enjoyed the chance to hand out some punishment to various rabble-rousers, I did find page 30 The Iron Fish )Ne did not loss Vietnam. It was a tie. ok computer Site by Toste This edition's theme: With the World C u p having just been wrapped only a good general site, but a good Australian up, the memories of the U.S. O p e n still fresh in o n e at that. It can be a little tiring after a while our minds and Matt Burke's purely legendary of p u t r i n g u p w i t h the gazillion baseball, pcrfotmance against the All Blacks, sport seemed American basketball, gridiron and ice hockey to be llie logical choice for this instalment of sites to find just o n e half decent cricket site Site By Taste. sp®rt (which probably has a fiill page dedicated to the last Har\'ard v Yale game and a sin^e line covering A problem I faced when compiling the following the on-going Ashes series, if you know what 1 T o p 5 list was the subjectivity inherent in having mean). t o choose a list o f the " t o p " five sports, given t h e appalling n a t u r e o f s o m e of the m o r e Ail the links from this site are to Australian " g e n e r a l " sites I c a m e a c r o s s . T h i s w a s sites. T o be fair, the coverage is relatively exacerbated by the high quality of specialised restricted, dealing only vAth AFL, N R L , rugby sites. If you k n o w of a better site for your union, cricket, basketball, soccer, tennis golf favourite sport that is not presented here, my and motor racing. These lead to links to other sincere apologies. sites that cover the g a m e in general (this is actually how I found site # 3 from the list) or to Top 5 sites dealing only with a sinj^e team. T h e latter 5. h t t p : / / w w w . f r a n c e 9 8 . c o m isn't around, some other link so the others don't 4. h t t p ; / / w w w . n b a . c o m feel left out. These are usually pages set up by include official team sites and, if one of those 3. http://www.rugby.com.au tech-head uni students w h o feel as fanatical Z http://www.acb.com.au about sports as normal students d o about Star 1. h t t p : / / w w w . s p o r t s w e b . c o m . a u Trek (or was that meant to be the other way around?). {Disclaimer: Site U4 acfua/fy sucks, hut a certain, nameless editor - some might sirf the editor - made F o r the other 1% of the population w h o have me do it) n o interest in any of the above mentioned sports, This edition^ N u m b e r O n e : namely www.sportswatch.com.au. This site has there is a link to another dedicated sports site, www.8port8web.com.au links to just about every sport I could come up with (in ten seconds anyway), but what this site This site serves chiefly as a centre for moving to is really about is the Uve updating of scores as other great links t o sites dedicated to specific they happened. Being a relative newcomer to sports. It does include o n its homepage some in- the Internet (compared to the Ronster, anyway) d e p t h r e p o r t s o n recent o c c u r r e n c e s in t h e I was intrigued by the Internet radio feature, sporting world. Topics of discussion when I where, with the right downloads, you could visited here were o n the Sampras and N o v o t n a have listened to the M C G Bledisioe Cup game victories at Wimbledon, Newcastle's worries as it happened. T h e ctJvcrage of France 98 was regarding the doping issue facing the N R L and, pretty cool too. of course, the wrap up from France 98. There are links to other sources of sporting info, But, the main feature is the great variety of such as newspapers, but I've covered the major links offered- As I mentioned earlier, m o s t sites features here. If you want to know more, go that are general like this o n e tend to be quite check o u t this site. And if you're looking for a crappy, b u t this site serves to be a real treasure decent site for your sport that i haven't included trove of information, or the link to it anyway, in my list, I couldn't think of a better place if what you arc after is something on Australian dian here to start looking. Happy surfing! s p o r t That's w h a t really got me, as this was n o t Ae/cA Boots are not pcniscs, Kendal/ page 31 I Friendship Never Ends h u h ? So where t h e Hell is Geri? Will the remaining Spice carry on with their crusade of fighting female oppression in hot pants, with their hip brand of political pop?' No other phenomenon has attracted so much intrigue and attention from the political, pop and media scene. The phenomenon I speak of is, of course, the one that has changed all of our lives forever: The Spice Girls. They have made the world laugh (and cry) with their antics, and for some, their political agenda, but now the world has shed a collective tear for the recent news of the Spice-split. Many will require trauma counselling, and still more will be sighing with relief. In my opinion, Geri Haliwell's misadventure, ultimately only leading to obscurity rather than a solo career, is the best thing that could happen. Let's face it, no one wants to see a 30 year-old pathetically posing as 23, especially in a body suit. However, this opens up a most devastating question: Unlike many of my colleagues, I do not hate the Spice Girls. I think if the predominantly crap pop of the 1980's can be appreciated for its camp value, 1 see no reason why the crap pop of the 1990's can't be. In any case, closet Spice lovers can always excuse themselves as postmodern. The Oxford Concise defines dogmatic as: 'la. (of a person) given to asserting personal opinions or imposing personal opinions; arrogant, b. intolerable authoritative.' Although the Spice Girls may seem farcical in their political philosophy to some, it would be taking an obvi- tmm^ 1 Pl^^al^Kc- I w^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^KSi', _ijw ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^HMHB^^^B ^^^^^S^ ^^^^P^^^^^^^^l "fl^^^^^^^^^^l i^^B^^m^ • jmuu^mmK;:^ ^Ir*^ '-'ii^^^H^^si^^^^HBi^l-.^^^ page J2 Perhaps then. The Spice Girls are breaking the boundaries and stereotypes of feminism. They are creating an al- if they break up next week, they sure have been entertaining. The episode when they pinched a nonnally pompous and reverent Prince Charles on the butt, gave me no end of amusement. Insinuating themselves into British politics was a beautiful touch, and gave us yet another chance to laugh at those "crazy poms". In some circles however, The Spice Girls remain in the realm of the absurd, and a travesty of feminist politics. Feminist Andi Zeisler said of their politics: "It makes feminism seem vacuous and preposterous. By posing as political, they devalue politics." Although in this case it may be true, this statement may be somewhat myopic. jt^^kM^Mm^^^Sj^^^^ i^^^^K- ously dictatorial stance to disenfranchise any feminism that didn't exactly fit the mould. temate feminism, in the form of 'Girl Power' - which is both acceptable and inviting to a younger audience. Existentially, are The Spice Girls subverting the subversive in their battle against the patriarchy? This view though, does ignore the cynicism of the mass-produced, prefab, .sell-your-granny-for-cash, massculture machine. Any respect for movements of the disadvantaged must have surely gone out with their morals. It's a widely held view that Spice Girl feminism is akin to the Beatles' long hair. The phenomenon of Spice could easily be correlated by the best marketing gimmick of the decade cotton candy feminist politics. If nothing else, I take my hat olT to this lucrative stroke of genius. Even Personally, I am lorn between the theories if the Spice Girls altruistically bringing autonomy to females, or if they are devaluing the very essence of the movement. Perhaps the moment of truth will be the rumoured split of the remaining Spices. Will they "stick together", carrying on their crusade as "Freedom Fighters"? Will they fade into obscurity, content to roll like swine in their millions of pounds? Will Mel C start a .solo career? Will Geri manage to get her face in the media again? Will Geri and the Duchess of York start a band? Who will design Posh's wedding dress? For the answer to these questions and more tunc in, same Spice time, same Spice channel. Kim Pearce Chris Kjng has a pointy butt Small Speaker Joyland? ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ j i b a t you're sa^ijig right now . . ioletine are one of those bands that are certainly not lacking when it comes to musicianship, but are almost criminally overlooked when it comes to public adulation. Around for about two years now, they've just released theif debut album Small Speaker Joyland (and no, I have no idea what that means either). They hope to bring the scales more into their favour with this longplayer. Lot's Wife spoke to their guitarist Sean about life, the universe, and everything. V Releasing a debut album is always going to be difficult, since it's always seen as your attempt at a definitive statement on where the band is. Was Violetine trying for the big break with this? "Ah, no. We're not the sort of band that expects to come out of nowhere and become famous or anything like that. We just want to able to tour and headline shows around Australia, and become ju.st well known enough to be able to survive off it, while we're all together. And even if Violetine doesn't do it, then for our own careers in the future." The band was formerly on the Bark subsidiary of Mushroom Records, which fit nicely with the sound of their last few singles. Has the new album signaled a change in direction, or simply more of the same? "Oh, the album's Get- your hand off it. definitely got a few surprises on it, for anyone that has heard any of our other material. There's a dance track, like a drum 'n bass kind of one, and there's a slower sort of drum loop track, there's all sorts of different stuff. We don't ever someone. That's how I like my music. My favourite track on the album is nearly six minutes long. I don't like anything that I just hear and like straight away, you know? It might appeal to me when I hear it the first few times, but I'll just get sick of it very easily. I always like things that take me a good couple of listens to get used to. Something where you find another thing in the song every time." '. . . We're not the sort of band that expects to come out of nowhere and become famous or anything like that.. .' want to be pigeonholed. The singles that we pick are done in conjunction with the record company, they're not going to say 'you have to pick this one', but it's the songs that are the catchiest, and that's usually the three minute pop stuff. It's more digestible for the public as well, so that's what we've chosen as the first two singles." Is this the kind of song that Sean appreciates the most? The three minute pop singles? "They're not necessarily the ones I like the most, no. The ones I like the most would probably take a half a dozen listens before Ihcy grew on For a band with very little history, one can only look to future. Where does Sean see Violetine going? "It's funny, we get asked that question all the time, but I never have an answer. I have no idea. It really depends how this album is received. When you're a younger band, you don't give a fuck how things are received, because you've never had anything received before. So, you're just doing it, and all of a sudden you've got to the stage where you've had a few releases and a few people know your name, and you put an album out and you really do have to wait to see how it's received to know where the hell it is you're going to go next. It's not like you can choose your destiny. But 1 expect us to be around for a while, and maybe take a couple of albums to get where we want to go." While you may not have heard of Violetine, there might be a chance you've seen them without knowing who they are. Having supported Everclear, Garageland, Venica Salt and The Mavis's in the past, they've certainly got a reputation as the understudy who will one day murder their mentor. But do they have any upcoming gigs? "Yeah, we're doing the turn up your radio tour for Triple J, that started last week. That's with The Fauves and Pollen, from Queensland. That's national. We're doing about forty gigs in about six weeks, which is pretty full on. But we're looking forward to it." So if you want to check out a band that deserves more than they've got in the past, check out Violetine. With music that crosses all boundaries (if that's possible), and determination to get there in the end, they'll hopefully one day be playing the headliner instead of the support group. Andrew James "Small Speaker Joyland" is out now on White Records page 33 ^8^ Glynn M c h o l a s ^ u m i y Guy Or Just! It was a balmy Tiiesday evening when Slatts and Kegs ventured out to the Universal Theatre for their interview with Glynn Nicholas. They were told the theatre was in Victoria street Filzroy which is not the same street as Victoria parade Fitzroy or Victoria street Carlton (although they are all very near each other). Subsequently they could be seen running through the streets of Fitzroy about thirty minutes late. end up taking over or outstaying their welcome." Kegs, then, in an attempt to discover what makes up the man, enquired about Glynn's previous occupations. "I was a wringer-outer for a one-armed window cleaner. I wrung out his cloths," he stated with a straight face. "Then I got a job at Arnotts. It was my job to break the first biscuit in every packet," he continued, cracking a wry smile. It was hard to tell whether or not Glynn was upset as he presented such a composed figure, accompanied by his seemingly laid back director, Terry. After many apologies and a lot of grovelling Kegs and Slatls proceeded to delve into Glynn Nicholas the man and his new show, Pumping Irony (the title was written by Terry. He was pretty proud of it so we thought we'd better mention it). "Well, I always try to put on a show that is different not only in content, but in style (from previous shows). This is a fairly relaxed sort of show. It reverts back to what I do best, which is working with the audience," Glynn said, as his facial expression seemed to relax a little, "the show involves a lot of improvisation, while at the same time maintaining a tight structure and is more playful than some of my previous shows." After Slatts mispronounced many of Glynn's famous characters names, we found out that Pale Biscuit and Sergeant Smith (as a security guard in the Olympic village in Sydney 2000) make an appearance, while he is still cautious not to be typecast by characters, "one has to be careful with characters that they don't When asked about being on Here's Humphrey all those years ago, and how it changed his life, it was found out that he, in fact, still owns the famous braces that he wore on the show. Slatts suggested that he should bronze them, but Glynn just looked at him as though he was nuts. Glynn's show, Pumping Irony, is at the Universal Theatre in Fitzroy every night for the next few weeks, so you are all urged to go and see it. Dean 'Kegs' Harrigan m : A ^Mazan Road to Success £f '• Lot's Wife recently caught up with Lisa ' Maza who is appearing in Jimmy Chi's t production Corrugation Hood. f! ! The Black Swan Theatre Company's t Corrugation Road, a musical about f: mental health, is based on Jimmy Chi's sU'uggle with schizoplucnia. It tells the ;• story of a journey to hell and back by a man who previously delivered mail from Broome to Beagle Bay. Lisa Maza plays tlie role of Fiona, (pro-' tagonist Bob Two Bob's first sweetheart) replacing actress Ningali Lawford. Surprisingly she does not feel any pressure to live up. to Ningali's acclaimed performance, 'You cannot I compare the two roles, she said 'Each '. actor's performance is unique, offer- page 34 ing their own specific style to the production'. Lisa has appeared in stage productions such as Radiance by Louis Nowra (for the Queensland Theatre Company), Nathaniel Storm for the NIDA Company, and has also been involved as a lead singer in a number of bands. She found the experience with the NIDA Company as a valuable one. 'They were fantastic people to work with, particularly because of the sheer hard work and detlication they put into their performances.' GiyeiSthe curretit political ciimale, at first glance it would seem ihat Corrugation Road would bear even more relevance to Australian culture than in previous runs of the show. However Lisa does not agree with this view. 'Corrugation Road is simply a musi' ial about mental health which just happens to include Aboriginal characters. I don't think that this is a reason for it to be more relevant politically to past performances of tlie show.' gruelling as we can have back to back runs of the show. However, it is all worth it. parlicularly wlien we perform to appreciative audiences in places such as Broome (ie. Jimmy Chi's birthplace).' Corrugation Roadplays at the • Alexander Theatre from 1 5 - ' 19 September. To win one of four double passes, go to the •; Box Office at the Alexander^ Tlieau-e at 9:30am on Tuesdall 15"' and do the following:; name the play that was previ; ously created by the creators of Corrugation Road (Hint: ' The answer is in the Alexander Theatre season booklet available at the theatre). Megan Pearson Lisa is currently enjoying the tour of Corrugation Road. 'At times it is quite Fric&, ivhy arc xhey french? ^;MiliMt«>jt puppet Giuiz Name Gonzo's significant Other ? Name the captain and the^ doctor in Pigs in Space do was the leader of the. rat pack ? t-' 4) f ? " What colour were Miss Piggy's gloves '.' 5) 6) 7) \. Who sings Mahna Mahna ? Name the two old guys in the balcony ^•j j ^ What i.s Kermit's nephew's name ? 8) 9) What was Fozzic's favourite exclamation^y What was Scooter's job 1 io) Who did Beaker workfof ? 11) Who performed the voice of Miss Piggy ? 12) What other cult'film did he briefly appear in ? 13) What are the words to the Muppet Show theme ? 14) Who is the presenter on Muppets Tonight ? 15) Which character blew up the theatre where the Moppets-performed ? Dave McLay Give-AwavsGalore That's Right: Loads of Free Shit What's Going On? Original "Wog Boy" John Barresi is starring in an all new comedy about love, class and spaghetti. What's Goin'On?\s about Luigi, a good Italian boy, Karen, a "skip" girl from the right side of town, and, of course, Luigi's mum (and extended family of about thirty). John Barresi has persona//y given students of Monash a 10% discount on all tickets. That means you (yes you!) can purchase a ticket for the measly price of $22.50. All you have to do is present your student card, tell the lovely people on the door that you read about the show in Lot's Wife and quote the page number, and you're in. Circus Oz Circus Oz is turning twenty! So they're flipping, vaulting and BMXing their way into a fantastic new show celebrating their tight-rope walking, fire breathing, tattooed history. Circus Oz will launch their Melbourne season on an unsuspecting public, and they've invited Monash students to join the party. We are proud to give away four double passes to their show on Friday, the 11th of September at 8pm in the Melbourne Town Hall. They will be given to the first four people who come into the office and tell me (Chris, that is) who Circus Oz's major sponsor is (hint: you wipe your bum with them and they start with Gary Colman was charged with serious assault when approached by a fan for an autograph. Some find this amusing due to his short, small stature, but, the real comedy lies in Colman's new found job as a security guard. Anyway, just to prove that fans don't know when enough is enough, Leonardo DiCaprio was in a car crash when a fan drove into his new $80,000 car. Don't worry girls he's alright despite his car not being fitted with an airbag - his ego cushioned the blow! More on the gossip front. Neve Cambell (Scream) and Matthew Perry {Friends) are rumoured to be 'more than just friends' (excuse the pun). The Psycho remake is still in the works with Vmce Vaughn (Swingers) as the lovely Norman Bates. Originally to be made word for word and shot for shot from Hitchcock's 1960 film, it is now to be changed - the only question is how? (AND WHY?!?) As far as 'films in the works' go. On Any Given Sunday, to be directed by Oliver Stone, and Bofinger's Big Thing, to be directed by Frank Oz, seem to be pulling the most big names. Stone's film will see Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, Dennis Quaid, Sean 'Puffy' Combs, Lauren Holly, Edward Bums and Tom Arnold all taking part. Bofinger's Big Thing, which sounds more like a pomo than a comedy, stars Steve Martin (who also wrote the screenplay), Eddie Murphy, Heather Graham and Christine Baranski. Speaking of Eddie Murphy, The Nutty Professor II is on its way, as is Adam Sandler's latest Guy Gets Kid. Other films to watch out for are Ordirmry Decent Criminal, starring Kevin Spacey and Milos Forman's Man on the Moon, featuring Jim Carey and Danny DeVito. And, just out of interest, Sean Penn is to direct Marlon Brando in Autumn of the Patriarch. Scream 2, U-Turn and The Postman, amongst others, will be out on video soon. Finally, in news just to hand, Denise Richards and Quentin Tarantino have eloped to Luxembourg saying that they're through with Hollywood. You know what, that isn't true but I do wish those two talent-less swines would disappear. Claire Hammond •s'). Aliens make cool foster parents, page 35 VI E:\A/ CLOSER tri^ Xf^ Closer is written by Patrick Marber, whose background in Television comedy is clearly evident in this play. There are many humorous lines which brought loud laughter from the audience, but so much energy was put into the verbal repartee between the characters that any deeper message or insight that the play hoped to put across seemed to get lost. •••• Arteinisia Gentileschi (Valentina Cervi), for whom this film is named, was a talented and beautiful painter in the 17th century and according to her father, she "paints as well as any man". But due to her sex and the law of the time, she was forbidden to study at the Academy in Rome, or use male nudes for figure painting. Intrigued by the naked body and her own sexuality, which at seventeen she is still discovering, Artemisia sketches her own body by candlelight and the naked form of a young fisherman. When she is discovered by the nuns at the convent she attends and is accused of being perverted, Artemisia is rescued by her father, renowned painter Orazio Gentileschi (Michel Serrault) and allowed to help out in his studio. Artemisia convinces her father's colleague, Agostin Tassi (Miki Manojlovic) to take her on as a pupil. Not only does Ta.ssi initiate her into the world of art, but also in the world of sex and forbidden passion. When an outraged Orazio discovers the affair, he accu.ses Tassi of raping his daughter. The documentation of the rape of Artemisia is complex and little is known for sure about the relationship between her and Tassi. Most criticism of this film comes from art historians who believe that the story is romanticised and that she was actually raped. But whatever your belief about the story, Artemisia is still a beautifully composed and photographed piece, with strong acting from the leads. 1 would recommend Artemisia to anyone who loves art, or beautiful French films. Georgia Tafl page 36 The play is about a group of people whose lives are all intersected by a series of random chances, and the one that brings all the characters finally together in a tangled web of sexual relations is through a cybersex session on the internet. This touch of internet culture and the continued and exorbitant PETER ANDRE TIME ••• Okay, from the outset we could make lots of jokes about Peter Andre and his funny little tummy muscles, not to mention the "funky junky" and other use of expletives and sexual references is supposed to give the play soine sort of distinctly late 90s flavour, but I felt that it could really have happened in any time or place. There are four characters in the play, two men who both fall for each of the two women at different times, and two very different women contrasting in both their age and nature. The younger of the two women appears to be tough and defiant, yet underneath she is vulnerable and desires to be loved. The older, by contrast, represents something altogether more complex. The relationships are all problematic as the characters swing between each other trying to decide what it is they actually need and want. The sentimentality of some of the lines stands out so markedly because so much of the dialogue is gritty and clever. I couldn't help wondering if some of the brilliance might have been lost because of a cast who did not always manage to deliver the lines with the comic timing that they deserved. The storyline was not quite substantial enough but it was still an enjoyable watch, as entertaining as your favourite soap. Nicola Dewe such jovial outings, but I've tried to go into this one with an open mind. Let us begin by looking at the best song on the album, "All Night, All Right" featuring Coolio. Its got a very funky beat and I can't help but tap my foot. Damn Coolio's a funny bastard though. Unfortunately the rest of this album is just filling in a rather dull sandwich, the album is singing about girls running away and girls coming back, and girls doing funny things in the middle. I can't help but feel that at least half his record sales are based on the way he looks rather than the way he sings, because, let's be honest, he struggles a bit. He's not really a free-stylcr in the pool of talent, he's more a doggy-paddle in the wading pond. I haven't heard anyone try to get more wavering notes into a song since Michael Jackson. Nathanael Oliver RANI THE All in all. The Infinite Blue is enjoyable, but not so enjoyable that you're prepared to run through the streets with a sock over your head (not that you would anyway, but nevermind). It just lacks that extra edge of passion that would take it from a good INFINITE BLUE ••• Being Kamahl's daughter must be tough. Apart from the lifetime supply of Dilmah tea, or even the family sessions around the piano, there was a lot of expectation surrounding Rani's debut album. The Infinite Blue. But her natural talent for songwriting shines through, as does her sweeler-than-sweet voice, and one is left with an album of contemporary R'n B/Soul that puts its detractors to shame. The first single, "Always On My Mind" was something of a minor hit, it al.so spawned a number of remixes (shame the drum 'n bass one didn't make it onto the album), and it is probably the best thing about this release. Like barnacles on a yacht, it grows on you until you find yourself singing it in the middle of lectures. The songs stylistically move around, going from the dancey feel of 'Trust in Me" to the slow soul of "I Have a Dream". But they all seem to work well together. album to a great album. But gripes aside, it's still quite fun. Andrew James Always d r y clean regularly. W. Clinton. To claim that this film is a Trainspotting for Australia is to grossly insult it. Head On is far more self-destructive. The story, which is based on Christos Tsiolkas' 1995 novel, revolves around Ari (Alex Dimitriades), a sexually confused nineteen year-old who is trapped between his Greek heritage and his hedonistic world of sex and drugs. The film documents twenty-four hours in Ari's life, during which he fights endlessly with his family, has vicious sex with multiple In fact the whole film revolves around Ari's seemingly endless quest to find the ultimate thrill, and kill himself in the process. Ari's lifestyle is a circular one that remains ultimately unfuiniling and only highlights the fact that he is a confused young man who is trying to escape his past and heritage, has no foreseeable future, and so must seek solace in an increasingly turbulent present. up for "Zoom", which should get some attention in the next few months. Other tracks to watch out for are the RZA's song "The Chase", Mack 10 & Ice Cube doing "Maniac in the Brainiac", and "Freak Out", which samples a song from the 70s that I'm sure you'll guess from the title. SOUNDTRACK ARTISTS •••• If you haven't heard of this album yet, you probably will soon. Another soundtrack from the team that brought you Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction and Romeo & Juliet, it brings togetlier some of the finest rappers. Including songs from Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, KRS-One, the RZA, 'Ol Dirty Bastard, LL Cool J, and Public Enemy, it certainly is not lacking in the talent department. But does this result in a well-rounded collection of songs, or merely an indeterminate mess? Chris King Ana Kokkinos' film is one that is loaded with gritty sex, explicit drug taking and family confrontations, but despite this, the film lacks a certain realism. Dimitriades becomes an BULWDRTH VARIOUS almost one-sided character in his anger, and the sex and drugs become almost repetitious in their "shocking" nature. But it is well directed and includes some great performances, particularly Paul Capsis as Ari's crossdressing friend, and at least it shows that Australia can make films that aren't "kitsch comedy". Altogether a great album, and one that anyone even slightly into hip-hop should get immediately. While the styles tend to jump around somewhat, each song seems more enjoyable than the last. Avoid at your peril. Andrew James The first single, "Ghetto Supastar", was a Top 10 hit. Featuring Pras Michel (the third, unknown Fugee), and 'Ol Dirty Bastard of the Wu-Tang Clan, it proved that 'cool' is in the eye of the beholder - you can take a song like "Islands in the Stream" and make it fun again. Dre and LL Cool J then team Embrya is in many ways a similar album, keeping one foot firmly planted in the late 70s, but being more adventurous than its predecessor, with the singer's Latin and dub influences coming more strongly to the fore. This combination of experimentation and respect for tradition makes for an album that pushes the boundaries of contemporary soul without losing its footing. Like Urban Hang Suite, Embrya is a cohesive overall set, and nothing really jumps out and screams "single" at you. There are standouts, however, such as the funky opener, "Everwanting", and the closing MAXWELL EMBRYA Maxwell is the Marvin Gaye of the 90s, a saviour of the spirit of classic soul music when real soul has been a rare commodity. His 1995 debut, Maxwell's Urban Hang Suite, was somewhat derivative but oozed too much style and sensuality to ignore. The more I see of men, the more I like doqs. "Eachhoureachsecondeachminuleeachday: Of My Life", which, despite the unwieldy title and chorus, is everything Prince should be in the 90s. Throughout, Maxwell's beautiful falsetto glides over the sultry late-night grooves filled with wah-wah guitar, lush strings and sub.sonic bass. No candlelit seduction mission should be complete without Embrya, the soul album of the year. Chris Mitchell page 37 W h e n successful bands try doing side-projects, most of the time the results end up being either a disappointment for the fans, or just a complete waste of time for the artists. •••• Bringing together a group of talented actors and well-known comedians was a brilliant idea from director Roger Hodgman, because what he produced was anything but a typical Shakespearean play. With a starstudded cast, including: Josephine Byrnes, Alison Whyte, Greg Fleet, Bruce Spence, Kim Gyngell and Shane Bourne, Hodgman transformed Shakespeare into a 1990s urban comedy. KVETCH & ACAPULCD STUDENT THEATRE bd^ An enticing evening will undoubtedly be Kvetch & Acapulco - A Night With Steven Berkoff. This production takes a look at two of Steven Berkoff's original works being performed by an extremely talented group of 3rd year Performing Arts .students. The impetus for the evening came from David Himmelfarb, also a 3rd year Perfonning Arts student, who has been a fan of Berkoff's particular style of humour and performance for some time. Berkoff was born and bred in Melbourne but has become a well page 38 Twelfth Night is a tale of love, confusion and misfortune, which has been adapted for the Melbourne performance, to be set in St. Kilda. The play opens with a brilliant set that depicts the better known features of St. Kilda. Thus, the play begins like any other revamped Shakespearean production, but evolves into an hilarious twisted tale, with a couple of surprises and lines that William didn't write into the script. The habits of the casted comedians shine through, as lines are added and mistakes are humorously capitalised on. One scene sees Greg Fleet, the Jester, dress up as a clergyman to deliver a message to Spence. Throughout his long monologue, recognised playwright, theatre director and stage and filin actor world-wide. Kvetch is the study of the little demons inside you that keep rearing their heads. Using vivid characterisations and biting humour, Kvetch is largely based on Berkoff's personal family experiences of growing up in a Jewish household in Melbourne. David first saw Berkoff in 1992 at the Adelaide Festival and was so impressed by the concentration and intensity of his performance in Oscar Wilde's Salome that he has followed his performances since. Acupulco is based on Berkoff's observations of the extras on set while he was on location filming Rambo. Typical of Berkoff's insightful humour, it follows conversations between six of the film extras justifying the importance of their role in the film. groove of "Hunk O' Man" and the almost jungle "The Plot Thins", to the fast and frantic guitar pop of "Hello!", this is an album that really showcases the songwriting talents of both Janet and Quan. The tlrst single from the album the unbelievably catchy "Don't You Know \yho I Am?", doesn't really set the image for the whole album. It's like Happyland took a whole heap of musical genres, threw them in the air, and built a song around what landed face up. From the funky electronic Fleety had, over the performances, obviously decided that one of the scripted lines was just not funny, and it did not gain the desired audience response. So one night during this scene, Fleety piped up (following the line), "I didn't write it". If you're not a fan of Shakespeare, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. And if you are a die hard Shakespeare fan, and you're worried that they'll ruin it - I honestly don't think you'll be disappointed, they really do it justice. While sounding more like Regurgitator's Unil album than anything that Spiderbait has recently recorded, it's nevertheless an album that takes the best from both worlds and combines them into one near perfect record that could serve as an indication of better things to come from either band. Anthony Brasher DRUGSTORE WHITE MAGIIS FDRLDVERS You know how people say that some albums have something for pretty much everyone? Well I'm not going to say that. However, I am going to say that this album is, apart from two tracks, fabulous. Essentially an album of love songs featuring the undeniably sexy voice of Isabel Monteiro, it has a mixture of slow ballads and catchy numbers, which will appeal to most. Absolutely brilliant! Asha Holmes Kvetch & Acapulco dates: Sep 2-5, 8pm, $9/$7 cone, Fri Sep 4th Matinee 2pm (half price) Drama Theatre Performing Arts Complex, Monash Clayton Bookings 9905 n i l Betty Manner The opening song, "Say Hello", draws you into the album with an upbeat, infectious tune, contrast almost perfectly with the anguish prevalent in other tracks. Unfortunately, almost every album has at least one song that you always skip, and for drugstore it is "Never Come Down". Luckily it is followed by "Song for Pessoa" I wish this was my name so I that I could imagine this haughtingly beautiful strain was being sung especially for me. The presence of Thorn Yorke on "El President" is an awesome bonus. His divine voice blends perfectly with Isabel's to create a heavenly and seductive sound, which explains its radio success. The carnival music and sudden explosions of sound of "The Funeral" make it a spectacular closing song - or so I thought until I heard the bonus track. Be sure to wait around for it, it's worth it. Catherine Malcolm Cheeseburgers save lives. BaiviETHiNG ABOUT MARY Cue Cyndi Lauper, Rubies cube t-shirts -and camp excess, cause yep, it's 1985 all over again, and it's not the Wedding Singer. Ted (Ben Stiller), your average Joe Schmuck high school nerd, seems big on the braces, short on a life, until high school babe Mary (Cameron Diaz), unexpectedly asks him to the high-school prom. Whilst the 80's backdrop is short lived, and a long-term relationship with Mary goes begging, the film really begins in 1998 where we find an 'older' Ted, still pining over Mary. This is followed by his decision to uack Mary down, employing the help of the decidedly seedy Pat (Matt Dillon). Replete with a skinny pornomoustache, small gut, and enough testosterone to fuel a small dog on heat, the employed Pat sets about tracking Mary down. Instead, Pat finds the desirable Mary and selfishly preys on her. Pat tells Ted that she is ugly and not worth it, so the majority of the story revolves around Ted's inevitable confrontation with the two. Ben Stiller draws on a more likeable reprise of his Reality Bites character but this time, he puts the 'comic' into the stilted earnestness. His accident prone Ted is savagely attacked by a cute little dog on speed, hooked by a fishing rod, and attacked several times by Mary's retarded brother. And when the humour isn't slapstick, it instead comes from Ted's appendage. At times the most puerile seems to become pointedly penile; seemingly innocent scenarios are inverted, becoming hilariously crass, lewd and vulgar. High points are high, low points are few and if at all, only come from its comic unevenness - but then again what the fuck is 'comic unevenness'? Who cares? I laughed a lot. Darby Hudson ••• When Effigy burst onto the Australian music scene with their debut album, their mix of Gothic imagery, catchy pop tunes and the distinctively androgynous voice of Peter Hardman were a welcome respite against the grunge-bynumbcrs bands. And with Effigy's second album Century Collapsing, there hasn't been much of a change in style, just improvement and refinement. It's with tracks like the first single "Suspicion Bells" and mellow piano driven melodies of "Your Voice" that you notice the changes in the band's songwriting. Gone is the teen angst of their debut, replaced with something that still contains plenty of angst, but with traces of maturity shining tlirough. While one of the strong points of the album is the improved songwriting skills of Peter Hardman, it is also his voice and pretentious lyric style that lets the album down in places. There never seems to be enough variation in Hardman's singing style to keep the listener enthralled for the length of the record, and some of his lyrics make you wish he'd get his head out of his arse at times. But in the end. Century Collapsing is a fine follow up album that shows Effigy to have the potential for even bigger and better things in the years to come. Anthony Brasher Fini Scad "It's Not Real" (Mushroom) No it's not real, and it's not very good either. Fini Scad has a magnificent way of consU^cting dirge pop for dickheads, and since this style appeals to the lowest form of 'alternative' listener, the underage crowd who tunc into Triple J should love it. Call us all back when you've written something far more interesting and intelligent than the contents listing off a packet of chips. Imogen Heap "Come Here Boy" (Festival) This is something that you put on in the middle of the night when it seems that no matter how hard you try to show that special someone that you care, and tliat you're the one who warits to be witli them, they ignore all your advances and make you feel like a fool for even trying in the first place. A song to rock yourself slowly to sleep. Natalie Imbruglia "Wishing I Was There" (BMG) If you want an example of a perfectly crafted, meticulously constructed and impeccably marketed pop star look no further than Natalie Imbruglia. "Wishing I Was There" is so squeaky clean, it could have been the B-side to a Hanson album. Tliis song, and the entire "I'm so beautiful, but I can be hurt too" imagery that surrounds Natalie, makes taking a bullet in the head a viable option to living in a world diat calls this original music. , Symposium "Bury You" (Infectious) ' Two singers who have wrecked perfectly good tunes: that guy from Jcbediah, and now the lead singer of Symposium. A band with great gritty punkish tunes and some dickhead who seems to think he's in some New Romantic group, falsettoing over the top of everylliing. They should do what Jebediah should have done, fire his crappy ass and get someone who can actually sing. Roni Size Reprazent "Watching Windows" (Mercury) After the Chemical Brothers brought break beat music to the masses, the genius of Roni Size is now starting to do the same with drum and bass (jungle). While not completely sanitising the genre so that we'll be hearing jungle in elevators, many of the single mixes take the song to places where almost everyone can groove to the tune, but best on the single is "Vocal Remix". Not a tfack to be missing this winter. Heather Nova "London Rain" (Liberation) Brought back from the brink of obscurity by the Lilith Fair festival and some real die hard fans, "London Rain" is a damn fine tune guaranteed not only to move your ass, but one that you'll be humming long after the CD has stopped. And with a very emotional cover of Nick Cave's "Ship Song" you could do worse than pick this record up. Rage Against The Machine "No Shelter" (Epic) With the best song off the Godzilla soundtrack finally becoming a single, you don't need to skip through Silverchair lo get to it any more. RATM haven't lost any of their anger or power and "No Shelter" is one of their best uracks to date. Only problem, it might only be on 7" vinyl and you need an adaptor to play it on an ordinary turntable, but it's definitely worth it. Happy hunting! Single of the Edition Therapy? "Lonely, Cryin', Only" (Polydor) This song is so full of energy you'd think a horny hormonal teenager came up with tfie tune, even though the lyrics aren't the most uplifting things you've heard, but this is one of Thcrapy?'s many strengths. With a cover of a DJ Shadow song and a re-working of two of their earlier songs, this is a single that would make bands like Fini Scad consider breaking up. Anthony "Beefcake"Brasher Don't caW me stupid. page 39 wsa Some time around the end of last year, you might recall the economies of South-East Asia and East Asia hitting a brick wall at high speed, and the subsequent devaluation of their local currencies such as the Malaysian Ringgit, Korean Won, and most spectacularly of all, the Indonesian Rupiah. The crisis has affected all levels of society in the Asian economies, from the autoworkers in Korea to the once-mighty President Suharto of Indonesia. Australia has been fairly lucky. Wc have yet to feel the full effects of the crisis, apart from an adjustment in the value of the dollar. But you can be sure there is at least one group of people living in Australia for whom the Financial Crisis is all too real. International Students at Monash (and other Australian universities) are facing the prospect of not being able to pay their fees, which could result in their enrolment being invalidated by the University. How A World Cr It's only in the last couple of months that the extent of the problem within Monash has become apparent. It seems that students from the affected countries managed to make it through first semester, but they are now finding it more difficult to come up with the funds for second semester. In the last couple of weeks, Fees, Monash International, and MUISS have started dealing with a lot more requests for help from International Students. WHAT CAN INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS DO? There are a number of options available to International Students who are having difficulty paying their fees. The most important thing to do is to talk to someone about the problem straight away. The worst thing you can do is nothing. Some students are so stressed by their predicament that they do nothing, talk to no-one, and OVERSEAS STUDENTS! EXCESS LUGGAGE? STAR WORLDWIDE MOVERS * Cheapest Rates. * Free pick-up. * Items weighed at your door. * First Class Service. International & Australia wide delivery. FREECALL 1800 882288 10% discount for all students Ye9, je» it i«| unfortunately, will probably end up having their enrolment invalidated. There are a few places you can go for help and advice. Monash International is in the Admin Building, and you could also talk to someone in Fees. Most of the Faculties have International Student Advisors, to help you. And, you can come into the MUISS office on the first floor of the Union and talk to the staff there, Adrian and Jocelyn. All of these people will find a way to help you. In regard to actually coming up with the money for fees, there are a couple of things you can do. You can defer payment (as long as you apply for a deferment before the fees are due), you can make a split payment, you could take a leave of absence and go home for a semester or two and try and wail out the crisis, or find some work (not easily done, it must be said). There is also the possibility of negotiating a plan for payment in instalments, which reduces the pressure a bit. To find out more, call MUISS (9905 4143) or Monash International (9905 1174). If you are feeling depressed and worried, you can talk to the people listed above, the International Student Advisors in your Faculty, or you can go to the Counselling Service, which is free and confidential (9905 3156). As a student, you have a lot of avenues for getting advice and help, so use them! WHAT CXJES IT ALL MEAN FOR LOCAL STUDENTS? Some students are now trying to find part-time work to pay their living expenses, which their parents can no longer afford. I have even met students who are hoping that they can pay for both their living expenses and their fees by working part-time. And this is despite the restriction of a maximum twenty hours of \york a week lor university. All students at Monash have classes with International Students. Monash is Australia's International University. You need to realise that your classmates might have debts of around $8000 hanging over them, with just a couple of weeks to pay. If your classmates are Indonesian, they might be facing a very uncertain future when they go home. These people are your classmates and your friends, and they're going through a very difficult time right now, so you need to be sensitive to their problem. The other thing that local students need to think about is how this could affect the way the University deals with its full-fee paying students who have trouble paying their fees. WHAT IS THE UNivERsrrv DOING? The University is now starting to get an idea of the scale of the problem. Staff and students with an interest in the problem, from all campuses, have been discussing the best ways to help International Students. As mentioned above. Fees has allowed students to defer and split up their payments, easing the pressure to a certain degree. Recognising the severity of the problem, a Special Fee Payment Project Officer has been appointed by the University. He will deal with ail students who are having difficulties paying their fees. FINANCIAL CRLSIS FOKUM TWO In an effort to help International Students, MUISS is organising a sequel to the Financial Crisis Forum held in first semester The new Forum will be held in the Banquet Room in the Union Building, on Wednesday September 2"''. We have invited guests from Monash International, Fees, and other interested parties to answer questions from students concerning their situation. This represents a great chance for you to get information direct from the people who know. As an encouragement to come along and raise issues, there will be a free lunch. If you want more information, look for our posters, listen to "International Lounge" on 3MU 95.7 FM (Thursday's IO-12am), or come into the MUISS Office and talk to the staff and committee. by Adrian Purby msa Notice of Elections M o n a s h S t u d e n t Association (Clayton) Incorporated ANNUAL ELECTIONS MONDAY 1 4 - FRIDAY 18 SEPTEMBER 1 9 9 8 Copies of the regulations governing the election are available from the MSA office, Polling will be held on: Monday 14 - Friday 18 September 1998 The main polling place will be open in: Union Building Monday 14 September 10am to 4pm Tuesday 15 September 10am to 8pm Wednesday 16 September 10am to 4pm Thursday 17 September 10am to 8pm Friday 18 September 10am to 4pm Remote polling places will be open in: Menzies Building and Hargrave Library Tuesday 15 September 11 am to 2pm Thursday 17 September Ham to 2pm Ken Strahan Returning Officer Nominations Nominations are now open for: Position name President Education Vice President General Secretary Women's Officer Publicity Officer Welfare Officer Generally Elected Representative Women's Affairs Collective Activities Chairperson Education Affairs Committee Welfare Committee Media Administrative Committee Lot's Wife Editor Publicity Committee NUS Delegates Biomedical Library Advisory Committee Bookshop Board Hargrave Library Committee Law Library Users Committee Main Library Users Committee Religious Centre Advisory Committee Sports & Recreation Association Executive Committee Niunber 1 position 1 position 1 position 1 position 1 position 1 position 6 positions 6 positions 1 position 15 positions 6 positions 2 positions 1 position 6 positions 6 positions 1 position 2 positions 1 position 1 position 1 position 1 position * 1 position Honorariam 20305 13537 13537 13427 13384 39650 Nomination forms are available at the MSA office, or by teleph oning or writing to MSA. Nominations close at 5pm Friday"28 August 1998. W m m- I ^ MUTV: UP AND BITING.. m„-w.' CYCLING THROUGH THE WAR20NE The Monash Student Association is co-ordinating a cam- bikelanes. The bikelanes would be marked to include paign for the installation of bicycle lanes on North Rd, provision for bus parking at stops along the route. between Huntingdale Station and Monash University. MSA Transport will be lobbying the University, North Rd carries very heavy traffic at peak times which VicRoads, the City of Monash Bicycle Victoria and locreates a less than inviting environment for cyclists. This cal MPs to support this work which would need to be is exacerbated by steep gutters and narrow lanes in cer- externally funded at a cost of around $750,OOO.This is NORTH RD. HUNTINGDALE STATION TO MONASH UNIVERSITY If you would like to be the next person who interviews a band after a Union Night at Monash, then MUTVision is for you. Or, if you are interested in student TV and you want to be trained in how to use cameras and editing suites, then this is for you. Or perhaps you would like to create your own mini-docs and other shows for the Uni TV system? MUTVision is for you. MUTV will be up and running in the weeks to come, and you are invited to be a part of this exciting aspect of student media. Programs will be shown on the televisions in the downstairs Unic.i, and we are looking to put more televisions up in the very near future. All you need to do is get in contactwith us at the Student Association, and we will allot you a training session for the camera and the editing suite. In order to cover costs, there is a four dollar fee per hour long session. Following this, you will be able to use the equipment free of charge in order to create material for MUTV. So come along, get involved, learn new skills and enjoy yourself. Contact; Sam Harrison, 9905 1122 [email protected] Or simply come up and see us at the MSA. Sam Harrison Publicity Officer. tain places along the road. There have been thirteen reported accidents involving bikes and cars on this 2.5 km stretch in the past four years. MSA Transport has received numerous requests from students and staff keen to support a campaign for bicycle lanes on this stretch of North Rd. We are calling for works to pare back the central median of North Rd to widen both carriageways by 0.5m. Traffic lanes would then be relocated and adjusted in width, making room for regulalion-widlh 1.5m a longterm campaign - but with the support of Monash students and staff- the goal of making North Rd more bicycle-friendly can be achieved. If you are interested in supporting this campaign for bikelanes on North Rd by signing petitions, writing letters, or in other ways, please make contact with us on X 54134. Jim Black & Simon Hall RMIT UNIVERSITY Bachelor Degree in Chinese Medicine Applications are invited from persons who have completed a degree in medicine, either in Australia or overseas, for places in a 2 year full-time funded Bachelor of Applied Science in Chinese Medicine, Applicants vtflth a science degree or with major including anatomy, physiology or pathology are also eligible. The program includes both Chinese Herbal Medicine and Acupuncture, The second year of the program offers students a unique opportunity to undertake a 6 month clinicaj internship In China under the supervision of qualified and respected Chinese Medicine practitioners at China's renowned Banjong University of Chinese Medicine. Master of Applied Science in Acupuncture Places are available for a fee paying course which qualifies overseas and local medical graduates or other primary healthcare practitioners to practice acupuncture. The three year, part-time course consists of four residential blocks per annum and self-directed learning during the first two years, and a research project during the third. A strong neurophysiologkal basis for acupuncture is studied as well as practical application of traditional and modem concepts, techniques and principles and diagnosis of Chinese Medicine. For further information, a fee schedule and an application form contact: Or Charlie Xue, Head. The Chinese Medicine Unit, RMIT Univenity, Bundoora West campus, on Tel: (-^61 3) 99257746, Fax: (+613) 9467 5829, email: cxue«>rmit.eduju www.rTnit.edu.au rfff furuRf JT/urf HERE footyi^Qpiing For up to date results in the Footy Tipping Comp. Check out the results sheet on the outside of the Lot's Office. A reminder to all fippers, as the Home and Away Season is now drawing to a close the announcement of the winner of the Grand Prize is coming soon. The kind folk at United Distillers have given us, to give you, a HUGE Bundaberg esky, replete with Bundaberg and Cola. So drink up and enjoy the strong yet mellow because now we're getting to the business end of the season. Tfie Winners for the Following Rounds Were: Round 15 . Paul Murphy (24) • Geoff Ennis (24) • Tim Cross (24) Bessie Abbott Still a Champion Rounds 16, 17 and 19 JACKPOT Round 18 • Jamie Scuglia (72) ' Shits€ared of Shits€are€l Con Anyone Beat Shitscared? This is the story of on incredible group of men and women, who don't seem to be able to put a foot wrong when it comes to Green Week. This is the story of Team Shitscared. From a showing in their inaugural year in 1995 which sow them finish with no prizes at all. Team Shitscared has gone on to become three time winners of both the teams competition and the Scavenger Hunt. Their success has been compounded by the fact that they have not been able to retain a captain since their first victory in 1996. Some people believe that their success is due to the fact that their previous captains have gone on to become the Activities chairpeople. However, most people know that this is not the cose. Like any premiership team, they do not have any stand-out players, just on even spread across the field which allows for consistent flow of beer. As a result of this, the only events that they managed to win for the week were team events, the Tug-o-war and VB Hunt, but they managed to place in other events throughout the week, and these points were the ones that counted. Bessie - Green week Legend - With some Pisshead To nobody's real surprise, this year's Green Week saw Bessie Abbott, of Team 2 , win her third successive Greenlow M e d a l , for being the best and fairest drinker in the Green Week Drinking League. This occurred, despite a mystery illness that continued to bug her throughout the season. Her best on ground performances in the Tricycle Races, Regaining and Beerlympics were amazing, with no other female players being anywhere near her, but her illness took its full effect in the Centurion, one of her best events, where she was the first competitor eliminated, as new rules restricted her from reconsuming her own vomit more than once. This is the sign of a true champion. I spoke to her on numerous occasions throughout the week, asking her how she felt about her performances, a n d she was as modest as ever. The former PLC School Captain told me how ill she was feeling on most occasions Flying butt& on. (the bloody whinger), but this just proved how good a player she is. She just kept on going no matter what happened to her. What is her secret? This is very simple. Unlike most players, experience has taught Bessie to not consume some of the mountains of free beer that Activities give away to spectators and players throughout the week. She maintains that this aids her to consume larger amounts of beer at faster speeds during competition. Perhaps some of the other competitors should heed her advice. With the Scavenger Hunt not being counted as part of the Teams Competition for the first time, and therefore not counting for premiership points, it became an even more important event. This is Team Shitscored's forte. By being on the inside, you realise the time and money that they put into preparing for the event for weeks before. Bessie Abbott is the greatest player of all time. Mobile phones, mini buses running team members back and forth, cars out on patrol throughout the night, supermarket raids at 3.00am, and their team, a team perhaps more desperate than any other to win, all combine to give this team the success that it has had in the past three seasons. O h yeah, by the way, Crackers IM.U.A.) won his first Greenlow, tying with Bessie on shitloads more votes than anyone else. Who can touch them? To that question nobody knows the answer, but if anyone is going to, we'll have to wait another year to find out. Richard Johnson Richard Johnson page 43 - T ^ T M A N J AKIP' VV>rt^e ^V A ^Vc^. &?J£0^ WHO Wiuu SJF-VWe T^,, <HgAdsvJeR u 0 is\ TH^ ^jg)cr U)T'S W\f e i j rt St r. re uc h«J i il'j>: focus on "HV • your studies cu If without losing a *.'!• your focus trjn in^tS^rwav ofhr Peak is a herbal remedy that helps increase stamina and endurance when you need it most. ;|B^Ej P.J ^^^•^•^ j K j ^ : ^ „> Pf_AK tun; Look for it in pharmacies or healthfood stores. | Haverhall Pty L t d A C N 003 320 294. 1609 Botany Road. Botany NSW 2019. Tel (02) 9316 9810 Peak contains Panax Ginseng and Ginkgo Biloba. NFAA1056! -98/07. H i ' activities C til \i H J ''^*pi^^c I liii^^ - J ^' A} Page Oesii st rong^©t^mel low Third Time Lucky for 1998 Band Comp Champs Purple Monkey Trance! Well, the wait is over! This year's National Campus Band Competition's Clayton heats are over. Held over three nights, the heats consisted of twenty-two different bands. The standard of musicianship was excellent and the huge range of styles played, made for three interesting nights. Past entrants have included Spiderbait, The Mavis' and Front End Loader to name but a few. It is not inconceivable to imagine some of the bands from this year's competition being household names in the near future. We were lucky enough to have some great judges. The wonderful, sexy music subeditors of this reputable publication shared the job between them. Mark Barry of Barry Sound was kind enough to judge for us, as well as control the mixing desk. Last but not least, Julian Davis, the drummer of last years' winning band Mobius, agreed to help us out. The judging included five different categories: Originality, Musicianship, Stage Presentation, Audience Response and Recording Viability. Enough of the suspense! The winners of this year's heats are all veterans. On Tuesday night the distinctive and original sound of Carbon secured them third place. Mighty Fine Disguise placed second, while in first place for the second year in a row, was Spacemaker. Heat number 2 also produced some great acts. In a night full of charismatic vocalists Insight, came third while 9" Left were second. The winning band placed second in one of the heats last year, but this year there was no mistaking that Hypemo Way deserved first place. The last night of the competition followed on with the same high standards. Fallen, the third placed act, should they come back next year, could very well end up as winners. Second place went to an excellent band called The Beings and it is my suggestion that you all look out for this band in the future. Go and see them if you can. The winner was Purple Monkey IVance (Steve's Band). Spacemaker, Hyperno Way and Purple Monkey Tfance are now into the Regional Finals which are taking place at the Armadale Hotel on Sunday SO* August 12pm onwards. It will be a great day of entertainment, so everyone, come and support your fellow students! Jo Marshall TJF*SlY Item I ite hilluhude grTAaegsrsTBia ^"'Af V'^inr^'^ With Thanks To f o r t Is s I m o EDENSOUND PRODUCTIONS IRRR liinESS fMMi smfm'^^m^^^imm'^msi^'^ AKE HOUSE mON^SH 5TUPENT v^SSOClv^TION ^CTIVlTlEa PUYERSe 5mU PRESENT COMEDY WEEK 11 FREE ^ iUNCHTIME^ COMEDY PERFORMANCES TUESDAY 1ST- THUR5P/iY3R SEPTEmBER ViiRS liOH£ UPSTAIRS FOYER UNION BUILPING/Pm COMEDY UNION NIGHT MERRICK & ROSSO DAVE GRANT THURSDAY 5RD SEPTEMBER 8.30P/Y\ $5/010 FULL BAR OVER/fi' 5ONLY PHOTO ID REQUIRED TICkETS FRay\ ACTIVITIES WUoHASH PLAYERS r COMEDY REVIEW PRIME AUEH CARCASS WEP2NCXS/)Tf2THSEPT6P/y\ IN THE STUDENT THEATRE SP/KX UNION BUILDING $?/$& i SPECI/1 Cgy^DYWEEkOFFER L $5 TICkETS ON PRESENT/iTIOM ^ ^ O F COYtPy NI6HT TICkET STUBS Pi^vBOOklNGS ON 99053/OS. 3/AV 95.7FM BROAEX:ASTIN6U\/E FRaf\ THE UNION FOYER EVERY/YORNING CHECkOUTETP (WITHkEGSe SLATT5) ?A/yV-9A/Y\ FOR INTERVIE\VS AND GIVEAWAYS INC4 FREE DOUBLE PASSES TO LIVE FOKTEL COfiWf TARINGS @ THE COytPYCLUB FaLOWEDBYPILE'OBILf T\l1om