A dog`s quest to grow up - Dogue de Bordeaux @ www

I am a Dogue de Bordeaux. That is French, and means I am from the French region of
Bordeaux, famous for its wines. I am a little darker than most dogs of my breed, almost
dark brown. This is not the only thing that differentiates me from most dogs of my breed.
My name is Buddy from Frisian South-East, but please call me Buddy. Dogue de
Bordeaux are strong and powerful. Long, long ago, our ancestors were fighting-dogs, but
not anymore. Some people still think we are fighting dogs because we are so big and
muscular, but they are just not very smart. We never fight unless we need to protect our
humans. I am not big and muscular yet, I am only a puppy. When I grow up, I would like
to be the biggest and strongest dog of all, but I now know that this may never happen.
The doctor says I will die before I grow up. This is my story.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
This morning, the alarm went off much earlier than usual. It goes off every morning, but
it never seems to bother anyone, even though it is so loud that I think our entire village
can hear it. Today, something was different. It was still dark outside. The moon
illuminated our garden and the hills in the distance so that I could see that there was still
plenty of snow for me to play in. The balcony door was tilted just far enough that I could
feel the cold air on my back. I like the
cold air; it makes me breath much
easier. I have to breathe heavily every
time I get too warm, my heart starts
to pound and then I can not sleep very
well. I noticed an arm protrude from
the blanket to hit the alarm clock. The
arm belongs to my human, Jan. He is
a nice human, he plays with us and
feeds us, but only in the evening. In
the morning and afternoon, my other
human, Bettina, feeds us. I really love
her; she takes care of us when we get
hurt. She also cleans our itchy ears,
which we all hate. As soon as we see
I am Buddy, and I am a little sad.
her with the cotton wool and that
white bottle, the rest of my family runs
and hides somewhere! I do not run away, because I am going to be tough and strong,
and my ears always feel better when the itching stops.
Bettina never wakes up when the alarm goes off. My humans sleep in the biggest bed in
the world. We are not allowed to sleep in the bed, but we have a secret trick. My sister
Layla, my friends Baron and Boogar
and I all wait till our humans fall
asleep, and then we quickly sneak
into the bed and pretend to be
asleep. This works most of the
time. I try and cuddle up right
between my two humans where I
can lie on my back. Baron and
Boogar are much cheekier; they try
and take the pillows. They are so
cool! They are much bigger and
stronger than all the other dogs in
the neighbourhood. Only last week
my humans said that I will be even
bigger than Baron and Boogar when
I grow up, and this made me really
My friend Baron always takes the pillow!
proud!
Jan usually hits the alarm about
twenty times before he wakes up
properly, but not today. He got up
the first time it went off, and jumped
into the shower. I usually try and
tiptoe in there to play with the water,
but this morning it was just too early.
I rolled over to lie on his side of the
bed thinking that he was probably
going to leave the house and leave us
alone. We get very sad when he
leaves. But maybe he was going to
take my little sister Layla to the vet
again like yesterday and the day Baron and Boogar and the collar I now wear.
before. Layla has not been feeling
well. Wow, you should see her vomit all over my blanket! I wish she would vomit on her
own blanket. She also has fever. But yesterday and the day before it was not dark
outside when the alarm went off. As I was wondering where he would be going, Bettina
got up too. Once they were dressed, they called Layla and put her collar on. We are
growing so fast that we do not have our own collars yet. I get to wear Baron’s old collar,
which is really cool! It has a cloth attached to it with the Dutch national colours. Because
I was born in Holland, I am so proud of it. I like to chew on it too, but my humans do not
like that. When I grow up, I would like to have my own collar like Baron and Boogar.
Theirs are made of metal and make them look tough. Ha-ha, if people only knew that a
few weeks ago, all of us jumped straight into Jan’s arms when something fell over in the
middle of the night whilst we were sleeping. When Bettina is home alone at night, we
guard the house and hardly sleep at all, but when Jan is there, we sleep. I am sure he
guards the house and us too.
Layla did not look happy with her collar on, so I was sure she was going to the vet again.
But then Jan called me too and held my collar in his hand. Wow! I was going somewhere!
I jumped out of bed filled with joy. Maybe we were going for a walk in the woods! I love
it there, there are hills for me and
Boogar to run down and lots of
scents of animals that I have not
seen yet. Baron and Boogar have
told me that there are wild boars,
foxes, and deer and that they
have seen them all! I hope I get
to see them too one day. But I am
a little scared of the wild boar.
Baron told me that a few years
ago, before I was born, their best
friend Duke was attacked by a
wild boar and his whole chest was
cut open. Bettina had to carry him
all the way back home and drive
through a blizzard late at night to
rush him to the vet. The vet
Duke, who was attacked by a wild boar!
saved his life after a four-hour
operation. I have not met Duke yet; he is now living far away from here. Jan told me
that I will meet him in March and I can not wait!
My humans told Baron and Boogar that they had to stay at home. Hmmm, maybe we
were not going to the woods. Jan opened the back of the Jeep, so I figured we must be
driving somewhere. I am not big enough to jump into the Jeep by myself. Baron is the
only one that can do that. Boogar can not do this either because he was operated on his
hips when he was my age. He can not jump or run as fast as Baron, but I tell you, he is
one big strong dog! In fact, we are all a little scared of Boogar; he is the leader of our
pack. I am sure Baron is much stronger than Boogar, but he is much too friendly to fight
for leadership. He prefers to play with his balls. You should see how many he has! Their
must be 1.000 balls lying around the house and in the backyard. And he is one skilful
football player. I am not very good at it yet, even my sister is much better at it than me.
Jan lifted Layla and me into the car.
Bettina and Jan always get to sit in the
front. Maybe one day they will let me sit
in the front too, so that I can look out of
the window and see where the car is
taking us. It was slowly getting light
outside, and I could see all the snow
clearly now. I was looking forward to
playing in it with the others later when
we would return back home. It was still
very cold in the car, and I felt good. The
trees along the twisty road were frozen
white, they looked beautiful. I noticed
that we were taking the road to the vet.
My human Jan with all of us.
Secretly, I was hoping that we were
taking Layla, and that they would let me
stay in the car. I do not like the vet. The ladies are very nice to me and give me tasty
little snacks, but they also peek me with long sharp needles and that burns. It does not
smell nice in there either, and there are always sick dogs in the waiting room, which
makes me a little sad. I noticed that Jan and Bettina did not talk at all on the way to the
vet. They seemed to be in deep thought. I wondered what they were thinking. As we
continued through the snow covered woods and villages, it was hard to keep my eyes
open. I had never been on the road this early!
Layla woke up as we parked outside the vet’s. She did not want to get out of the car, and
together we tried to hide in the deepest corner. Maybe they would not find us here. But
Jan is big and strong, I think he is even stronger than Baron. He can walk on two legs
too, and his arms reached all the way
to where we were hiding. He pulled
Layla out of the car and closed the
door. Yes! I did not have to go inside!
He returned within minutes without
Layla, and we drove off back down
the road we had come from. I
wondered why we had left Layla at
the vet, and why they had taken me
along. I know this road pretty well, it
has lots of sharp bends, and some of
them even make me slide along the
floor of the Jeep! There is one that
is particularly sharp, and just as I
My sister Layla.
braced myself, the car stopped and
turned left. What was the car doing? I sat up straight, eager to see where we were going.
The road went down a hill, though a little village. Just behind the village, we turned right
into a big street with three lanes. There were lots of cars and boy, were they driving fast!
I think I have been on this road before, when Jan and Bettina took me and my sister
away from our first humans and our mom. We drove forever! I saw lots of cars, big
trucks, villages and lots more snow! At some point I must have fallen asleep.
I awoke when the car was parked outside an old ugly building. I noticed Bettina had
gone, and as Jan opened the door, I saw the biggest
animal I have ever seen, sneak up right behind him! I
barked to warn Jan and scare away the animal. Jan
explained that it was a horse and that I should not bark
at it, but wow, it was big and scary. So I barked a little
more just to make sure. I must admit, the horse did
not seem very impressed. “Just wait and see when I
am as big as
Baron”,
I
thought. “I will
whoop your ass
before you can
This is a horse!
blink
an
eyebrow!” The horse did not care and walked by
as if it had not even noticed me. Jan lifted me
out of the car and we followed the horse towards
another old ugly building further down the street.
In the distance, I could see a person. She looked
like Bettina, but I was not certain, so as a
precaution, I barked again. It turned out to be
This is a poodle!
Bettina, but better safe than sorry, I thought. My
tail started wagging as it always does when I am happy. Bettina opened the door to the
building and I stopped instantly. The same familiar smell I remembered from the vet hit
me, but it was far more intense. I could see a lot of dogs inside. I felt my legs starting to
shake, so I quickly barked to ascertain that no-one inside could see my fear. None of the
dogs or people inside seemed particularly impressed, and although I tried every trick that
I could come up with, Jan took me inside. The smell was unbearable in here and the
building looked as rough inside as it had from the outside. To the left was a small white
room with green chairs. There were some people in here with dogs that I had never seen
before. One was long and hairy with tiny legs. Two others, sitting on a lady’s lap were
pink and their coat was cut into funny shapes. I have to tell the others about these funny
looking dogs when I get home, I thought. I think all the other dogs were more scared
than I was, so I calmed down quickly. I looked on a poster on the wall with all the
different dog breeds of the world, but I could not identify these pink creatures. I think
their human purposely cut their coats to look this funny. I will tell you one thing; if my
humans ever try and cut my coat like that, I will start a riot. I overheard Jan say that
they were poodles. I made a point to remember that so that I could tell Baron.
I must have fallen asleep planning my moves when a lady dressed in white came in and
called my name. Jan and Bettina got up and followed the lady into the adjacent corridor.
I certainly was not planning to go along, so I stayed where I was. Jan is strong though, I
tell you. The lady took us into a room full of computers and machines and sat down
behind one of them. She asked Jan what was wrong with me. “Good question”, I
thought, “absolutely nothing! Let’s get out of here, pick up Layla and go play in the
snow!” Jan explained that a Dutch specialist had checked my heart when I was eight
weeks old and had found a tiny bend in my main aorta which caused a little noise, but
that it was nothing serious and that I would be able to live a normal and healthy life.
Now I remembered! I have seen all these machines before, although it was in a different,
much nicer building. And the doctors spoke Dutch instead of German. And that is where I
remembered the smell from, and that is why I started shaking! Anyway, like the Dutch
doctor said, it is nothing serious, so let’s get out of here! I heard Jan say that now that I
am a little older, I should be checked again to see if anything has changed. “No way”, I
wanted to scream, “everything is cool, let’s go!” The girl punched a bunch of commands
into the computer and explained that they would do a number of tests on me and that it
would take a little while. “Hello”, I thought, “let’s not waste any more time. Look at the
girl. She is much too young to know anything about my heart.” But then some more
people dressed in white walked into the room. They looked older and wiser and told us
that I had to get some x-rays taken. Hmm, I did not like the sound of that. One older
lady took Jan and me to a big room full of more machines. There was a big metal table in
the middle of the room with some sort of weird looking lamp above it. Before I knew it, I
was lying on the table with my legs spread out wide. The people in the room and Jan put
on a big green coat. It looked heavy and I wondered where we were going. Normally,
coats mean that we are going for a walk, but why put me on a table first? The ladies put
me in all sorts of positions on the table and before I knew it, it was all over. I was lifted
back on the floor, and I thought, what a waste of time.
We all walked back to the first room we were in. The first girl was there again, and there
were two serious looking gentlemen and another girl too. This girl had a shaving device
in her hand. “Oh no, you are not making a poodle out of me”, I screamed! But my
screaming had no effect. Before I knew it, they had shaved my belly, my left, and my
right side. I was lifted on another table. This table was made of blue leather and had a
hole in the middle. I was not allowed to move, and the doctors clipped a number of
things on my skin that looked like clothespins with wires attached to them. The oldest
doctor was sitting at a computer screen. The screen was coloured and lines were moving
up and down it. I watched the lines move with fascination. Every now and then, the
doctor would press a button and the screen would freeze for a second or so. One doctor,
the girl that shaved me, Jan, and Bettina were holding me down on the table, so I
realized there was no point in trying to get away here. Anyway, they would all soon find
out that I had already been through all these tests and that there was absolutely nothing
wrong with me, so I waited patiently.
The first girl I had seen rubbed some funny feeling transparent stuff on my skin and then
took a little machine and pressed it against my side through the hole underneath the
table. The computer screen changed instantly. There no longer were lines moving up and
down, but a bunch of unidentifiable blobs in
different shades of grey moving back and
forth. Every now and then, the doctor at the
computer would press a button again to freeze
the screen. He could also make the grey blobs
turn bright orange, yellow, red, and blue. The
doctors were whispering difficult words to
each other, so I could not hear what they
were saying. Then one of them left the room
and returned with a much older doctor. He
was a very tall, serious looking man. He
looked at the screen with the others, and I
This is what the screen looked like.
thought, finally someone that can tell them
everything is alright. They turned me around on the table and pressed the machine onto
my skin on the other side. This examination was taking much longer than the first time
when I was a little puppy. I figured that some of these people were still learning to be
vets, so they were taking their time explaining everything that they could see. It felt as if
I was on that table for hours before they finally cleaned the transparent jelly off my belly
and let me down off the table.
Bettina, Jan and the first girl took me into a room next-door. Almost instantly, the doctor
that had been at the computer followed into the room. With no great hesitation, he
explained that I have a serious heart defect, and that I can drop dead any moment. For
certain, I will not live long enough to be a big strong adult dog. If I am lucky, it will be
fast and easy on me, if not, I will suffer severe pain. In this case, the doctor said my
humans should consider putting me to sleep. I wanted to laugh. I feel great, so let’s go
home, pick up Layla, Baron and Boogar and go running in the snow. Then I saw a tears
appear in Bettina’s eyes. It broke my heart to see her sad. I could tell she was struggling
to be strong. I quickly looked at Jan. He looked fine, so maybe it was not so bad after all.
The doctor continued to say that he would prescribe medicine to make my heart work as
efficiently as it could. In no way was I allowed to play with my friends or run in the snow
which I love so much. That hit me hard. I am a puppy and I love playing. I love to run
and fight with my little sister. I love running down the hill into the woods with Boogar. I
want to be as big and strong as Baron. I want to see all the places and animals Baron
and Boogar have seen. I am Dogue de Bordeaux, descendant of great fighting dogs. I
want to go fishing on the boat in the summer which Boogar has told me all about. I want
to meet Duke that survived the fight with a wild boar. I am Buddy of Frisian South East,
son of Brandoux Toezzz, the champion of champions. I want to live.
The ride back home went by in a blur. I remember Bettina crying violently once we got
outside of the university building. I remember Jan was on the car phone a lot. I
remember stopping at the pharmacy. I remember picking up Layla from our own vet.
She told me that she was feeling
better and hungry. I did not tell her
where I had been or what I had
learned. Back home, Jan lifted me out
of the car and put me down on the
ground. I felt the snow underneath my
paws. Only hours ago I had been
looking forward to this moment, to
come home and play in the snow. I
looked up at the sky. It had turned
dark grey. Tiny flakes of fresh snow
were falling down, playing around my
head before they fell on the ground to
mingle in with the rest.
Early
in the evening, I walked into the
No more playing in the snow…
office at home. Jan was on the phone
talking about the news that had hit us so hard earlier in the day. In mid sentence his
voice stopped and I saw tears in his eyes. This is when I realized it was for real. I had
never seen him cry. I walked over to him and licked his hand. Do not worry, things will
be alright. I am Buddy, the chocolate coloured Dogue de Bordeaux. I will be even bigger
and stronger than Baron and Boogar, and I will live.
Friday, February 18, 2005.
Well, at least one thing is back to normal, no-one pays attention to the alarm clock
anymore. I feel great. I am hungry as always, and there is still plenty of snow outside.
Today, I received my first medicine. They make me feel good, but a little tired. The door
to our backyard which was always open so that we could run out and play is now closed.
Bettina went to visit her parents, and Jan opened the door for a little while so that we
could play just a little bit. Baron likes to sit on the stairs on the side of the house where
he can see everyone walk by. Layla
and I like to adventure around the hill
on the back of the house. We are
lucky that we have such a big
garden. Our house is built on a very
steep hill, and we can see forever in
the distance. The hills are covered in
dense forest. We even own a little
part of the forest, but I am not
allowed to go there by myself. A
month or so from now, the weather
will get better, and maybe I get to
see the animals Baron and Boogar
told me about. Baron also told me
that there are hunters in the woods
that sit on high towers and wait for
Me in front of the woods behind our house.
the deer to come and feed. When the deer come out, the hunters shoot and kill them.
We have a plan. Next time the hunters come, we will bark so loud that the deer will not
come out to feed.
Some things are better than yesterday. It looks like I am allowed to sleep on the bed
without having to perform my ‘instant sleep’ tactic. I seem to get more little snacks than
I used to too. Jan says tomorrow we will all go for a walk through the woods. I think they
are planning not to let me off my leash, but trust me, I know how to pull a face that will
make them change their mind. I would make a great actor one day, just like my hero
Hooch.
Saturday, February 19, 2005
The alarm clock did not go off at all
this morning. This usually means that
it is weekend, and everyone is
staying home. The first thing I saw
when I opened my eyes was that it
was snowing outside! The wind had
blown the fresh snow on the balcony
into piles against the wall at least as
high as me! Jan had said yesterday,
that we would go for a walk in the
forest! How cool can it get! I still feel
a little tired from the medicine, and I
am thirsty a lot of the time. Bettina
was the first one to get up. Usually,
Jan and Bettina drink a cup of tea or
coffee whilst they have a look at the
computer
in
the
office.
Baron
Baron is the smartest dog in the world.
sometimes looks at the computer too.
He is so smart, I think he knows everything. He told me that we have our own website
called “Dogue de Bordeaux” on the internet, with lots of pictures of us. People from all
over the world know us and send our postcards to their friends and loved ones. I have
my own Valentines postcards which
lots of people sent out only last week
on Valentine’s Day. Next year, I would
like to send some too! I will have to
ask Baron how that works! On the
internet, there are places where other
people with Dogue de Bordeaux can
talk to each other and share pictures.
People there say I am very special
because of my chocolate colour! How
proud do you think I am?
Whilst Jan and Bettina were having
their tea, the four of us went out in
the backyard. We could not see the
I still feel a little tired at times.
hills in the distance. It was foggy and
still snowing loads of tiny little flakes.
There is a bunch of stuff to check out in the backyard. There is a big fish-pond. The
surface is frozen except for one little area where the water flows into a red tube. From
there it runs through a big filter underneath a pavilion before it flows back into the pond
as a big waterfall. The waterfall is frozen too. Big icicles hang down from the stones and
the ice has built a beautiful structure that
looks like a fortress. Baron tells me that in
the spring, thousands of frogs and toads
will come and visit the pond to lay eggs.
Boogar says Baron catches the toads and
then feels sick for half an hour and sees
things that are not there. Baron says that
this is not true, so I will have to try
myself. It is only two more months before
the toads and frogs come back.
Because it snowed all day, we never went
for a walk though the woods. We will go
tomorrow if it has stopped snowing. I was
Baron’s favourite place at the fence
allowed to stay outside most of the day,
and I even had a snowball fight with Jan! I spent a lot of time sitting in front of the gate
with Baron. I can bark as loud as he can when people walk by! I did not tell Baron that I
am sick, but I think he knows. He told me that a few years ago he had to go to a clinic
far, far away to get his heart tested, because he had fainted a few times. From the way
he described it, I think it is the same place as the one I was at two days ago. I am
certain he was trying to make me talk about my sickness, but I did not say a word. He
said the doctors had not found anything but that he had fainted twice since. I have never
fainted, so how bad can it be! Soon, I will be catching toads!
Monday, February 21, 2005
It was still snowing heavily all day yesterday, so we never went for a walk in the woods. I
spent a lot of time with Baron at the
gate again. On Sundays, a lot of people
from our village and beyond walk past
our house. We bark at all of them and
most stop to look at us. Everyone
smiles and says how cute we are.
There is one lady, however, that does
not smile at us. She is from the city
council and she is responsible for dog
tax. Baron says that she wants our
humans to pay €1.000 per year for
each of us. Everyone else in the village
This is what the mayor wants to throw at us.
only pays €50 Euros per dog per year.
Apparently, the major of our village has
decided that Dogue de Bordeaux are
dangerous fighting dogs and that you
have to pay extra tax if you want to own
them. Boogar told me that the mayor is
an old senile man, but Baron says that
the mayor just wants to annoy Jan
because he and the mayor had an
argument a few years ago. There is a
rule in this village which says that you
can only have a lawn in your garden.
You are not even allowed to plant pretty
trees! Of course everyone in the village
does anyway, but the mayor used to
sneak up behind our house quietly to
This is where the mayor can’t go.
spy and see what Jan and Bettina were
up to in the garden. Jan then had a lawyer write to the mayor, and he is no longer
allowed to walk on our property. Since all of the land behind our house right up to the
mayor’s house belongs to us, the mayor can not spy anymore. To get back at Jan, the
mayor has therefore decided that Dogue de Bordeaux are dangerous dogs. Mayors are
not very smart if you ask me! We now all have to take a special test to prove that we are
not dangerous. A stranger needs to walk up to us and throw a pack of handkerchiefs on
the ground in front of us to see if we will attack and eat him alive. Of course anyone can
throw pretty much anything on the ground in front of us; what do we care? I said why do
we not go to the mayor’s house and throw some handkerchiefs at him and make him eat
them! Boogar thought it was a great idea, but Baron is more diplomatic and figured we
should not annoy the mayor for the time being. For now it suffices that the mayor can
practically see us walk on the land where he is no longer allowed to go.
It has stopped snowing today
and we must have spent over an
hour playing in the snow with
Jan. The snow was deep and
soft and we ran up and down
the steep hill in our backyard
chasing snowballs. If you walk
through the snow at the top,
little balls of snow start rolling
down the hill, growing larger in
size the further they travel. We
were having a blast chasing
them trying to catch them
before they would hit the fence
at the bottom and fall apart. The
We all went to play in the snow!
weather was fantastic. Thick
grey clouds in the distance
promised more snow to come, but small blue patches in the sky above us allowed the
sunlight to illuminate the woods and hills in the brightest white I have ever seen. We like
to sit in our garden and watch the distant hills. I wondered what is beyond these hills.
Baron and Boogar know; they have been everywhere! I planned to ask Baron tomorrow.
Later in the afternoon, we played
some more with Bettina. She was
clearing our snow away with a big
wooden thing that looked like an
oversized shovel. You bet that we
tried to stop her! We all barked at
the shovel and tried to pull it out of
her hands, but in the end she
prevailed. She only cleaned the
walkway though, for a while we were
afraid she was going to clean the
entire garden! She has other
machines inside the house too with
This is me with Layla.
which she plays with us. One of
them makes a lot of noise. Baron
says it is a vacuum cleaner that sucks away all the dust and hairs from the floor. Then
she has something called a broom, which is a thick red hairy thing on the end of a stick.
Either way, whatever she uses, both are great to play with!
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
I did not sleep well at night. My heart was pounding and I had to breathe heavily for
hours even though the door to the balcony was open. I had to drink a lot and could not
find the right place to lie down. We have four different blankets on the floor and I tried
all of them repeatedly. Jan stayed up with me till early in the morning until I finally fell
asleep. I think I had only been sleeping for an hour or so when the alarm clock went off.
Oh no! Last time it went off this early, I had to go to the doctor that told me the bad
news. I am not going there again! I crawled under the blanket and did not move. But it
was Layla that had to go to the vet. Jan and Bettina put her in the Jeep and returned
without her. We searched for her for a while, but could not find her so we figured it was
something big. I sat at the gate with Baron for hours again. It is our favourite place to
hang out. We can see everything that goes on in our village street, and talk about
important issues at the same time. I asked Baron what is beyond those distant hills. He
told me that far behind those distant hills is the place my little sister and I were born. My
mom Quincy lives there, together with her sisters and friends. I asked if my other two
sisters Tess and Noa, and my brother Diesel live there too. Baron looked at me for a full
minute before he answered. “Diesel and Noa live with two different families in Holland”,
he said. “Tess stayed where you were born, but unexpectedly became very ill.” My heart
started to pound again as one thousand questions jumped into my mind. Is she ok again
now? What did she have? Does she have a problem with her heart too? What about
Layla? Why is she at the vet again? Is Layla seriously ill? Baron continued to talk with a
soft deep voice while he looked me straight in the eyes. “Tess has died little Buddy”, he
said. Tears jumped to my eyes. Baron put a paw on my shoulder and pulled me a little
closer. His big head was now right in front of my face, our noses almost touched. He said
she was so ill, that the vet had put her to sleep to ease her suffering. My tears were
running freely. “She has gone to a special place where dogs go when they die; a place
some people call ‘Rainbow Bridge’. It is a place of unequalled beauty and peace where
dogs live until their humans are ready to join them. There are hills and trees, lakes and
waterfalls, and lots of dogs to play with. Dogs are happy there. The pain and suffering
from illnesses endured on earth are gone. One day each dog’s human will come and the
two will be reunited to cross the bridge to a place where both will be together happily for
eternity.” I looked at Baron. Tears were still running down my cheeks, but less violently
now. “What if some of the dogs are not nice there”, I asked him. “All dogs are nice
there”, he responded. “There is no reason for dogs to fight at Rainbow Bridge.” “Will I be
going there too if my heart gets worse”, I wanted to know. “One day, we will all go there
Buddy”, Baron said as he pulled me even closer. “But I will be all alone! How will I find
Tess?” Questions were still running through my head. “Tess will be there Buddy, she will
find you”, Baron said.
Then Baron told me about Lobbes, another dog at Rainbow Bridge. He was a Rottweiler,
strong as a bear and smart as an owl. He belonged to Jan’s father and is respected by
all. “Should you be the first to go to Rainbow Bridge, he will take care of you”, Baron
said. I wiped the remaining tears from my eyes and walked down the stairs to go back
into our house. I arranged my blanket
and cuddled myself into it to think
about everything I had learned. I am
not afraid to go to Rainbow Bridge, but
I would prefer to stay here a little
longer. There are so many things to do
and see. And I sure want to be like
Baron, the smartest dog of all.
In the afternoon I awoke as Jan and
Bettina returned with Layla. She looked
tired and she had a big scar on her
Belly! She told me that the doctor had
cut something out of her belly to make
Baron comforting Layla.
sure that she can not have any
puppies. I wanted to talk to her more,
but she was feeling very tired and slept the rest of the day. I am not going to tell her
about Rainbow Bridge, because she does not know about my heart or about our sister
Tess. There is no reason to make her sad. Baron sat with her for a long time to comfort
her. In the evening, we all gathered around the television. Layla was allowed to lie on the
couch, so of course we all took the opportunity to do so too. It was snowing when we
went to bed, so tomorrow should be a fun day in the backyard again!
Saturday, March 05, 2005
A lot has happened the past 10 days! First and foremost, I have been feeling much
better. My heart does not pound as often as it used to, and I can sleep well at night. In
fact, I sleep well during the day too. I no longer wake up having to breathe heavily.
There is still a lot of snow for as far as we can see, except for the little village down in
the valley. I am glad we do not live there! The countryside does not look as pretty as it
used to now that the snow has been blown off the trees. But on the ground there is still
plenty to run around in. It has been very windy, so I had to chase the snow that was
blowing over the ground. After all, I do not want it to be blown away.
Today our aunty Marleen arrived! She is Jan’s sister, and she is staying here for the
weekend. We all love her and got so excited to see her that she could not get in the door
at first. When she finally managed to come in, we showed our appreciation by slobbering
all over her. She was dressed in black, but not when we were done with her! She says
that I have grown a lot since she last saw me. Hopefully we will all go for a long walk in
the woods with her.
Earlier this week, Bettina bought a big pack of
handkerchiefs, so I figured we were going to
practice for the mayor’s “lets throw
handkerchiefs at the dogs” test. We were all
ready to attack the handkerchiefs and to have
a little fun, but they were for Jan. He has
been ill for a couple of days now. You should
see his nose! He looks like Rudolph the Red
Nosed Reindeer. You can not believe how
many handkerchiefs he uses. He looks really
funny; even inside the house he wears his
coat and a skiing hat. He still comes outside
with us, but I think he should not do so. Even
This is what Jan’s nose looks like
Baron, who usually gets a ball a few times a
day and challenges Jan to a game, has not done so for a couple of days.
Layla is doing well. She has a big impressive scar on her tummy with lots of stitches,
which will be removed on Monday. I still have not told her about Tess or myself, and I
think I never will. We did speak about her operation though. She knows she will not be
able to have any babies, and it does make her a little sad. It was tough for me to explain
why this had to be done to her. I wanted to
tell her that I am not allowed to have any
babies either, but then I would have to
mention my heart. The simple fact is, that
Layla is not allowed to have any babies
because she has white feet, and Dogue de
Bordeaux are not supposed to have white feet.
Humans are ridiculous. Layla is so pretty with
her white feet. But the real reason is that
since Layla is not allowed to have any babies
anyway, she was castrated to avoid Baron,
Boogar and myself getting too stressed out
Layla.
during her heat. The stress would not be good
for my heart. So, to cut a long story short, it is
my fault that Layla had to be castrated. Now, how do you explain that to your own
sister? So I explained to her that we all love her so much that we do not want anything
bad to happen to her. Now that she has had the operation, she will never be able to get a
number of cancers not infrequent in pretty girl dogs. It was the best I could do.
She has gotten over it quickly though, and we have been playing a lot. I am much bigger
than she is now, but she is one tough and strong little girl. She still manages to throw
me over, but do not tell anyone please. I am now also taller than Boogar! We do not
mention it, because Boogar is one lean mean tough fighting machine, and no way am I
going to challenge him! It will not be long until I am as tall as Baron. Of course, both
Boogar and Baron are much stronger and heavier than I am. I only weigh 44 Kilos,
compared to Boogar’s 65 and Baron’s 75 Kilos. Boogar is one tough dog, and we are all a
little scared of him. He prefers to be alone; most of the day you do not see him. He likes
to sleep underneath Jan’s desk or underneath the table in the living room. When you
least expect it, he will scare the living daylight out of you by jumping out of his hiding
place. He thinks it is funny, and for sure none of us is going to tell him that it is not! He
looks like a true warrior with all the scars he has from different operations. He is also the
only one of us that has ever been in a fight with another dog. Boogar likes to fight. On
the other hand, he can be as sweet as a little teddy bear. Do not ever mention I said
that! There are even times that Boogar plays with me and my sister. Some time last
week, out of the blue, for the first time in my life I had a discussion with Boogar that
really changed my attitude towards him. And not just towards him.
Boogar was sitting on the platform that holds the Italian Pavilion above the filter for our
pond, overlooking the woods and hills. He
likes to sit there. You can see as far as the
eye reaches. It is the best place to spot any
intruders that come from the woods. From
here you can see foxes and deer on our
fields below the house. Boogar says that he
has even seen an anteater together with
Jan, but no one believes them. I feel sorry
that no one believes them, so once I am
grown up; I will go find it in the woods and
invite it home for everyone to see. Whilst
Boogar was sitting there, observing the
grounds, I tried to sneak by quietly to take
the stairs down into our garden. Just as I
Boogar’s favourite place.
thought I had made it, I heard Boogar say
“come here son”. The hairs on the back of
my neck froze. You never know what mood Boogar is in. A little reluctantly I walked over
to Boogar and sat down beside him. We sat next to each other without saying a word for
a few minutes, both looking in the distance. A lonely car was driving down the country
road. It was too far away to hear it. My eyes followed its course past the fields and
through the villages until it disappeared for good behind a hill. Two big birds of prey
circled in the blue sky above us. Although they did not move a wing, they seemed to
hover higher and higher. I started to dream that that was me flying through the skies
when Boogar’s voice pulled me back to earth.
“Those birds are looking for mice, Buddy”, he said. “Even from up there, they can see the
tiniest mouse and dive down to catch it at the blink of an eye.”
Now that is impressive, I thought. I also thought, why fly all the way up there, for sure it
is easier to stay a little closer to the ground to find mice.
Boogar continued with the longest speech I have ever heard from him;
“From here you can see the world as it is Buddy. You can see the birds and how they
have mastered catching mice from high altitudes. You can see foxes hunting for the same
mice as the birds, by slowly stalking through the high grass. You can see the mice,
moving quickly to catch little bugs whilst trying to hide from the birds and the foxes. You
can see the deer, grazing peacefully from the long grass in which the mice are trying to
hide. The deer need no longer fear another animal now that our ancestors, the wolves,
are gone from these woods. All these animals have one common quest, Buddy, they
search for food and breed for the survival of their own species. The world will always be
balanced as long as the animals are free. But then there are humans. You can see the
humans as they come into our woods to shoot the deer and the foxes for pleasure. You
can see them driving hectically in their cars, running over the mice, the foxes, the deer
and the birds. You can see them cutting away the woods and chasing away the animals
to build their villages. You see, Buddy, humans with all their brains and technologies are
far inferior to us. They do not know what we know; the reason why we are here. We are
here to ensure the survival of our species. Humans do not understand this, and they
never will. That is why they pollute the planet, cut down the woods, create weapons to
murder each other and kill the animals, ruining the very basis of their existence, until it is
all over one day.”
Wow. That was a lot of information for a little puppy like me to absorb. I looked at
Boogar, and his tough, muscular face had lost
its hardness. If I did not know any better, I
would have sworn I saw a tear in his eye. He
seemed to gaze into the distance without
focussing on anything. “So what can we do?” I
asked. “We must be able to do something?
Let’s tell Jan, he can talk to the other humans,
can’t he?”
Boogar’s eyes focussed and he looked at me
thoughtfully. “Oh Buddy, I wish it was that
easy”, he said. “There are more than 6 Billion
humans and they do not all listen to Jan.”
“Well, why not?” I screamed, “He is a nice guy
and smart isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is Buddy”, Boogar responded, “but
humans are strange. They do things that us
dogs will never understand.”
“Who is the boss of all humans?” I demanded.
This is our planet
“I will ask Baron to use Bettina’s computer and
send this person an e-mail!”
Boogar smiled at me and said: “There are many humans that think they are bosses,
Buddy. But you will find that they are often the dumbest of all. The most powerful boss
of humans right now sends his own countrymen and women to die in a war so that the
rest can drive big flashy cars that use lots of petrol. He has spent more money getting
his own countrymen killed, than it would take to produce cars that do not need petrol.”
That threw me back a little. Surely no human could be that stupid? “How did that guy get
to be a boss?” I asked.
“That, son, is what dogs like us will never understand.” Boogar replied. And with that his
gaze went off into the distance again.
I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking. Surely if I, a 7 month old puppy, could
understand, everyone else could too. I made up my mind. I, the chocolate coloured
Dogue de Bordeaux, heart problem or not, will save the world. Just need to figure out
how.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
The first thing I did when I woke up was puke. I do this quite often in the mornings, so
for me it was nothing to worry about. Jan and Bettina looked troubled though. They
examined the little layer I had neatly deposited on the bed and then the one I had left on
the floor. I heard them say something about blood, but I feel fine. I am sure it is nothing.
I must admit I did not sleep very well though. It is not that I did not feel well; I just
could not stop thinking about the things Boogar had told me. What can a little puppy like
me do to save the world? I also thought about Boogar and how I had misread him.
Behind that tough as steel facade was a very wise, worried dogue. As I pondered about
my possibilities, I figured my best bet would be to talk to Baron, our communications
specialist. I did not get to speak to him until late in the afternoon. Auntie Marleen was
still here and since I knew she would be departing again today, I stayed as close to her
as I could. I had a nice snooze with my head on her lap on the couch.
I found Baron at his usual place at the fence. The streets are clear of snow now that big
tractors have pushed all the snow aside into piles. At night just before Bettina and Jan go
to bed, the four of us are allowed to go out on the street and pee against the neighbours
bush. Well, I am lying, we are not allowed to pee against the neighbours bush, but we
still try every night. Anyway, what I wanted to say is that the piles of snow are so high
that I have to climb over them to get on the other side of the street. Now that the streets
themselves are clear though, a lot of people walk by our house again, so there is plenty
of action in the street for Baron to observe.
He was sitting on the top of the stairs and greeted me joyfully when I reached him.
“Hey Buddy, have a seat,” he said as he moved a little to the side. We watched about ten
adult humans walk up the street talking loudly, looking at the view behind our house and
at some of the decorations in our front yard. Baron tells me that in the summer, whole
busses with tourists come here to have a look at the view. Since there is so much for
people to look at, they do not always notice us sitting amongst the bushes behind the
fence. These ten adults did not notice us either. Feeling unobserved, they walked into our
front yard to have a better look. We waited until they were directly in front of us and
then we jumped up and barked as loud as we could! You should have seen them scream
and run back onto the street! For some reason, they started laughing when they returned
to the street and saw that we were behind a fence. The game Boogar usually plays on us
is fun after all! One of the adults, a big loud man with a funny hat got real brave and
made a little provocative dance on the street, challenging us to come and get him. Yeah
right, you super hero. Do not think we can not jump this fence and make you dance a
little faster. But of course we did not, after all, we are smarter than humans and I had
something more important to discuss with Baron.
“I want to save the world, Baron”, I said as we sat back down on the top of the stairs.
Baron turned his head towards me and frowned his eyebrows. Then a smile appeared on
his big face. “Have you been speaking to Boogar?” he asked.
“Yes”, I said, “I know all about the humans ruining our planet!”
Baron’s smile grew bigger for a second, but then it vanished. “And how, my young little
friend, do you want to save the world?” he asked me.
“Well, I thought you would be able to tell me that.” I looked at Baron, full of hope. I
continued: “Apparently, there is an important boss of all humans that has enough money
to send his people to fight a stupid war
and I think I need to talk to him to
explain that we need to save the
world.”
Baron waited a while before he
responded. “Buddy, the person you are
talking about is
Mr. Bush, the
president of the United States of
America. Not only is he not the boss of
all humans, even though he may like to
think he is at times, but it is going to
be a challenge to talk to him.”
I had to laugh. “The president is called
Mr. Bush? As in our neighbours bush
that we all…” Baron interrupted me
Mr. Bush
before I could say it. “Yes, as in our
neighbours bush, Buddy. This human is
protected by lots of body guards; there is no way we will get to him. Besides, he is a
very busy man.”
That did not make sense to me. “What, too busy to help me save the planet?” I asked.
“And why is he protected by bodyguards? He is the boss isn’t he?” After all, Boogar is our
boss and he certainly does not need bodyguards. How could someone that needs
bodyguards possibly be a boss?
Baron looked serious now. “Buddy, as easy as things may seem to you and me, humans
tend to complicate things. There are a lot of things that you do not know. Besides, even
if you did get to speak to him, what would you ask him?”
That was easy enough to answer. “I would ask him if he could help me save the planet.”
I responded.
“My little friend,” Baron said as he looked at me, “we are talking about the president of
the United States. You can not just ask him that. You will need to help him on his way;
give him some options, explain to him how he can help you, in language easy enough for
him to understand.”
“Why, is he that stupid?” I asked. “How about if I ask him this: Mr. Bush,” I chuckled as I
said the name, “how about you and I spent some of the money that you have on
producing a car that does not need fuel, rather than on fighting a war to secure the last
drops of oil? That way, you no longer have to get people killed, cars no longer pollute the
world, and everyone is happy. Then, we start selling these cars, and we use the money
to repair all the damage that we have done to this planet through cutting down
rainforests, polluting the air, over-fishing the oceans, and so on. In the meantime, we
start cutting down on wasting energy, adapt the car’s energy source to all other
appliances that need energy. Then, we protect all endangered animals and reintroduce
them to the areas where they have vanished. Then, when we have finished that, you and
I take your daddy bonefish-fishing in the Florida keys, which he likes so much, and he
might actually catch something worth talking about.”
Baron’s jaw dropped on the floor. Once he recovered from my little speech, he said:
“Buddy, as logical as that may sound to you and me, humans will not believe things can
be so easy. Why don’t you start off with something a little closer to home; a little less
challenging? Help some stray dogs like Bettina does, for instance.”
I looked Baron in his eyes and my voice grew soft. “I do not have the time to start off
small Baron. I have to go for the whole thing.”
Baron’s voice grew soft too. He put his paw on mine. “Buddy, I do not want you getting
hurt. Mr. Bush and a lot of his friends make a lot of money on oil. They will not like your
plan. Why do you not simply enjoy your life and play with your friends?”
“I can’t.” I responded. “I am Buddy, the chocolate coloured Dogue de Bordeaux. I can
not sit back and let these things happen. Besides, they make Boogar sad, and I can not
see Boogar sad. How can humans choose a
leader like that?”
Baron looked away at some humans walking
down the street in the distance. “Humans
feel superior to us dogs, Buddy, even though
they do not have our senses. They lack our
loyalty and love. You may find comfort in the
fact that most humans on this planet did not
choose this leader. That does not mean they
chose better leaders though. I will tell you
what. I will help you write Mr. Bush a letter.
I will make sure it is delivered. But please do
not be sad if you get no response.”
Well, that was at least a start! I thanked
The tasty remote control
Baron and ran down the stairs back in the
house. I figured I should get up to speed on
the world’s events by watching the news on the television. I grabbed the remote control
from the living room table, jumped on the couch and turned the television on. Whilst
watching the news, I continued to chew on the remote control and arranged it neatly in a
pile of pretty coloured individual parts.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Wow, a lot has happened the last week. Not only have I puked a few more times in the
morning, but so has Baron. Every time after he finishes his food, he pukes it all out
again. And trust me; he pukes a lot more than I do! Of course, I figured that if he does
not want it, I can take it, but Jan and Bettina disagree with that. Instead they threw
away all the food Baron neatly dumped on the living room floor. What a waste! Layla has
puked too, and now we have all been put on a special diet for a whole week. Even
Boogar, who has not puked yet, has been put on diet food.
At least Jan is looking better. His nose is back to a normal size and colour. He still coughs
every now and then, but nothing like he used to. Layla had her stitches removed. The
snow is all but gone from our garden and the street in front of our house. It is getting
warmer, but Baron says it may snow some more at the weekend. I do not mind either
way. Boogar says that once the weather gets warmer, the pool in our backyard will get
warmer too, and Jan will go swimming with us. Apparently, Boogar is a great swimmer,
and he has promised to teach me. He laughs at Baron, who is afraid to swim. Baron says
he is not afraid at all. We shall see. Our pool is situated in the backyard. Since the
backyard is such a steep hill, the pool has been built into the hill, and is surrounded on
three sides by stone walls. There is even a little fireplace where you can hang out and
enjoy quite a spectacular view. I am looking forward to the warmer weather, but I have
no time to swim or play in the snow anyway at the moment, because I have a letter to
write.
Bettina has kindly repaired the tasty remote control, so I have been watching a lot of
news on the television. You can not believe the things that humans are up to. If they are
not being killed by storms, earthquakes and floods, they kill each other with weapons.
They are a strange species. Some weird looking famous white pop-star that used to be
black called Michael Jackson is going to court because he is accused of having sex with a
little boy. Why would anyone want to do that? A lot of humans seem to think he did not
do it, but others say that he did. I do not understand all the commotion. Let everyone tell
their story in court, gather the facts, and take a decision based on that. I hope that with
President Bush’s help, I can get everyone that excited about saving our planet. I think at
times humans struggle to get their priorities sorted out.
Baron has figured out a great plan to get our letter to President Bush. The lady that
delivers our mail every day has a pretty female German Shepard that runs behind the
mail car whilst her human drives from house to house. When the mail lady stops at our
house, her dog usually stops by the fence to greet Baron. Once we have finished our
letter, Baron will inconspicuously pass it through the fence. The German Shepard will
then drop it between the other mail in the
back of the car. I think it is a fantastic plan
and I am very thankful to Baron. Now all we
need to do is actually write the letter. We
pretty much know what we are going to
write, we just need to get a chance to use
the computer in Jan’s office. Most of the
time, either Jan or Bettina is using it. Baron
sits next to them on his own chair and
carefully observes how everything works. I
am not quite big enough to climb on that
chair myself yet, so I do not know how the
computer works. The first chance we get,
we will write our letter and send it to the
Baron learning how to write letters
president.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
I have been far too busy the last week to write, so let me try and get you up to speed.
First of all, the diet worked, and we have all stopped throwing up. Better yet, we are now
getting raw meat mixed in with our food. First time we were given raw food, we all
looked a little upset. No wonder, Bettina is Italian, so why on earth would she feed us
raw meat. She makes all these wonderful pasta dishes and great sauces for Jan, and
then she puts raw food in front of our noses. But once we tried it we went crazy. Wow,
that tastes good! Now we sit in the Kitchen way before it is dinner time and can not wait
for the next meal. The best thing to do is to pull a sad face when Jan or Bettina walk into
the kitchen; that always gets you something good from the fridge.
The snow is completely gone and sun has
been shining all week. The temperature has
climbed dramatically. Today is the first day of
spring, and the weather is certainly living up
to it. The four of us spend most of the day in
the garden, enjoying the sunshine. The trees
are showing the first tiny knobs and little
flowers are starting to appear through the
grass. Thousands of frogs have travelled up
from the valley to leap into our pond. I tell
you, Jan spends half of the day catching frogs
out of our pool and the pond filter. I doubt
that they are very clever. Obviously the pool is
not the pond! Baron tells me they scramble all
the way to our pond every year to lay eggs
and have babies. If I was a frog, I would stay
A toad from our pond
at the foot of the hill and find myself a pond
there to have babies in. Of course we help Jan
catch them, but Jan is better at it than we are. His long arms reach in all the spaces
where the frogs hide. All the frogs he catches are thrown into the pond. At night I listen
to them sing their songs with their deep voices. They do not keep me awake, I simply
can not sleep.
In fact, I have not been sleeping well all week. I wake up continuously and I feel out of
breath as though I have been running for an hour. This only happens at night, I feel
absolutely fine during the day. But when I wake up at night, I breathe heavily and my
tongue hangs way out of my mouth. I try and find different places to lie down, but it just
does not stop. Jan stays up with me and talks to me softly until I calm down. Sometimes
he takes me outside into the fresh air, and we go for a little walk; just the two of us. I
love those little walks. The cold air against my skin relieves my breathing difficulties. At
night, you can just guess the outline of the trees through the pale moonlight. Jan and I
sit for a while and listen to the noises that protrude from the forest. There are some
strange sounds amongst them. I wonder
whether they are from the deer and the wild
boars that Baron and Boogar spoke about.
We are having great fun during the days
though. My favourite game is when Jan
makes water spray from a long orange tube. I
try and catch the water as it flows from the
tube. Every time I catch it, it jumps from my
mouth right on to my head, making me
soaking wet. The cool water feels great.
Hopefully soon the pool will be warm enough
so that Boogar can teach me swimming like
he promised. Baron has told me a funny story
Me playing with the water
about the first time Boogar fell in the pool. They had been chasing the ball that Jan was
throwing against the wall, when Baron accidentally pushed Boogar into the pool. Boogar
sank right down to the bottom and stood there, looking up at Jan and Baron with his
eyes wide open. Just as Jan was about to jump in to get Boogar out, Boogar came back
up to the surface. Baron says he had panic in his eyes, but Boogar says he was just
checking out the bottom of the pool.
The big news of the week is the fact that Baron and I have finished our letter to President
Bush yesterday! I tell, you, it was not an easy task to accomplish, but with a little luck
we figured it out.
Usually in the mornings when the sun comes up, Baron wants to leave the bedroom to lie
down in the hallway. He lets Jan know by scratching the bedroom door with his big paws.
Still sleeping, Jan generally opens the door and falls right back into his bed. Yesterday,
as we all went to bed, we noticed that Jan and Bettina had left the computer in the office
on. This was our big chance! Since I had trouble sleeping again, I stayed up with Jan till
around 3AM before we finally fell asleep. It felt like I had only been sleeping for about 5
minutes when Baron scratched the door. Still sleeping, and obviously not realizing what
time it was, Jan got up, opened the door, and dropped back into his bed. Then I heard
Baron whisper in my ear: “Buddy, be very quiet and follow me.” I got up slowly and
followed Baron into the office. He pushed me up on a Bettina’s chair and jumped up on
Jan’s chair.
“What do you want to write Buddy?” Baron whispered as he pushed a few keys on the
keyboard.
“I would like to invite President Bush to our house so that I can talk to him about our
plan to save the world” I answered with a soft voice.
Baron looked at me. “Buddy, I do not think the President will come here to see us” he
said.
“Maybe not”, I responded, “but we have to be polite and invite him anyway. And if he
has any interest in saving the world, he would come and see us. What could possibly be
more important than that?”
Baron’s face turned very serious again. He looked as if he was going to say something,
but than he must have changed his mind. His face turned gentle and caring. “OK, Buddy,
here we go!”
He started punching onto the keyboard and little black letters were appearing on the
screen at the same pace as Baron was pressing the buttons. Every now and then, he
would stop and read the screen. His right paw would click the mouse at the side of the
keyboard. I watched with amazement as Baron wrote my letter for me. Maybe one day I
will be able to do all the smart things Baron can do. And maybe I will not. It does not
really matter. For now, all that counts is that I get to speak to President Bush. After
about 20 minutes, Baron stopped writing.
“I think I have it, Buddy”, he whispered in my ear. “Let me read it out to you.” Baron
read the letter to me carefully, pausing after every sentence and looking me in the eyes.
When he finished, he looked at me again and said: “So, what do you think?”
“I think it is fantastic”, I responded. “But I do not have a ten point master plan.” I looked
a little sad. Why did I not have a ten point master plan? Before I could ponder further
over this flaw in my preparations, Baron whispered in my ear again.
“You have much more than a 10 point master plan my friend. All we need to do is
formulate all your thoughts in ten easy to understand points. Presidents like to think in
simple master plans Buddy. They sound good, and with a little luck and help from their
aids, 10 is something presidents may just remember. Trust me, before your letter is
delivered, you will have a ten point master plan. We will work on it tomorrow.” With that
said, Baron focussed his eyes on the screen again.
Wow! I am going to have a ten point master plan. Boogar sure is going to be impressed
with that! No more tears in his eyes; we are going to save the world! Baron printed the
letter, and had me put my paw print on it as a signature. He neatly folded the letter and
put it in an envelope. Quietly, we sneaked back into the bedroom. I kissed Baron on his
cheek. “Thank you, Baron”, I whispered in his ear.
He smiled at me. “Do not mention it my little friend, get some sleep.”
I jumped into the bed and found a snug little place between Jan and Bettina where I
cuddled up and fell asleep.
In the morning, Baron fulfilled his scheme and handed our letter to the mail-lady’s dog.
No-one noticed as she dropped the letter amongst the other mail in the back of the car.
My letter is irrevocably on its way. Now all I need to do is wait for President Bush to
answer. And formulate my thoughts in a ten point master plan. I am so excited!
Saturday, October 8, 2005
If this were a movie, the last six months would be summarized with spectacular pictures
of joy and happiness and accompanied by wonderful music from some famous artist.
Then, the music would stop, events would return to the present, and something tragic
would happen to abruptly end the joy. The last half year surely was exiting. I have grown
into a beautiful strong Dogue de Bordeaux and am now
as big as Baron. There is a movie on the internet of us
playing in the woods:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLuZOcdJUCk
I can jump into the Jeep by myself, eliminating the
need for Jan to lift me up. I tell you, he would struggle
to lift me now. My
body is still lean, but
it is heavy and
packed with muscles from the long walks through the
woods and fields around our house. If this were a
movie, the return to the present tragic event would
take place in those woods, for it was here that three
days ago, for the first time my heart proved the
doctors right.
I had almost forgotten my heart condition. Sure, during the two scheduled check-ups in
the hospital, the doctor had said that my heart was deteriorating as expected and they
increased the medicine I am taking, but I felt great. I have turned into an eager
swimmer, spending most summer days diving and playing in the pool. We spent two
weeks of vacation in my country of origin, Holland, where we went for long walks through
the marshland. I was even allowed to go out on the boat with Baron, Boogar and Layla.
We had the time of our lives, lessened only by the complete lack of response from
President Bush. We know he received our letter, because Baron overheard Bettina and
Jan discussing the fact that
shortly after we posted our
letter,
the
US
State
Department
became
a
regular
visitor
to
our
website. Of course, Bettina
and Jan do not yet know
about the letter Baron and I
sent, and we are not
planning to tell them now.
We figured that they would
find out soon enough if
President Bush returned our
letter. Bettina would get too
worked up getting the house
up to scratch for his visit so
there would be no time to get angry at us. It does not really matter now anyway, for I
have decided President Bush is the wrong person to talk to. A man that not only fails to
ensure that proper safety measures against forces of nature are in place in his own
country, but subsequently also fails to adequately address the distress and misery of
hundreds of thousand of his countrymen, hardly seems to be the right person to talk to
about saving the world. A man that puts aside an additional 50 Billion dollars to fight his
“personal mission from God” whilst 3.000 people in New Orleans lose their jobs through
lack of funds is not welcome in our house. And neither is a man that does not have the
decency to respond to a dog. Baron was right to tell me that this was a bad idea, but I
commend him for his help and his willingness to let me find out for myself. And this
brings me to a far more important event that occurred a few months ago.
Bettina was out of the house and we were all gathered around Jan’s desk in the office
when we heard a noise outside. Baron, being the fittest and fastest of our gang jumped
up, ran down the hallway, down the stairs through the basement, out into the garden,
around the corner and up the stone stairs to his favourite place at the gate. By the time
the rest of us reached our garden, we heard a big thump so we increased our speed to
assist Baron in fighting off the villains who surely were trying to steal our house and
everything in it. We turned the corner towards the stairs ready to jump into action and
rip apart anything that moved or blinked an eyebrow, but then we halted in shock. At the
bottom of the stairs lay the motionless body of Baron. We quickly walked over to sniff
and see how he was. Lying on his side with his eyes closed, he did not move. Tears shot
into my eyes and my heart beat wildly as I stood there absolutely unable to help my
friend Baron. We needed Jan out here as quickly as possible! As I turned to run back
inside, I saw Jan outside of the fence at the top of the stairs. The noise must have
aroused his suspicion. I wanted to scream: “Jan, Baron is dead! Come down here!” but
before I could open my mouth, Jan was beside Baron. I tell you, humans can be fast at
times. They can jump over fences too, I wonder if I can do that. Then I noticed Baron
was breathing, so obviously he was not dead. Slowly, with Jan’s help, he got back on his
feet and looked at us dizzily. “What the hell happened?” I screamed. Baron seemed in no
state to respond to my search for facts however, and we had to move aside as Jan
escorted Baron to the car and both of them drove off down the street at a speed that
would not have delighted the mayor. They were gone for hours and we were worried
sick. All three of us sat at the gate staring in the distance, waiting for Jan’s car to appear
at the bottom of the street. As we sat there thousand of thoughts were jumping through
my mind. I noticed Boogar sitting next to me. He had the usual tough expression on his
face, but he could not disguise the anxiety in his eyes. It was then that I realized the
special bond between Boogar and Baron. Even though Boogar is a loner who appears to
be immune against the love and cuddles that Baron, Layla and I enjoy so much, he was
clearly hurting. Something connects him to Baron that caused his eyes to fill with water.
If it was not for the sun reflecting on the teardrops, his face would not have revealed his
feelings. I realized then, that no matter how tough someone may be, blood connects two
souls like nothing else. They had been born together, grown up together, spent day and
night together and travelled all through Europe together to come to this day, this place
and all Boogar could do was sit behind the fence and wait. Would their journey end here?
It was so emotional that I felt the need to comfort Boogar but I did not. Whilst I have
been growing much bigger than Boogar, he has given me some proper, no nonsense asswhippings to ascertain that I never forget that he is the leader of our gang. Yet, at this
moment, seeing his hidden desperation, the feeling of fear and respect I had for him
shrunk a little to make place for love. This grumpy and tough fighting machine that had
surprised me once before out on that terrace overlooking the countryside, genuinely
cared.
We heard the car way before we saw it. We jumped up against the fence, anxious to get
a glimpse of Baron. The car stopped in front of the house, Jan opened the door and out
jumped Baron as if nothing had happened. We all ran over to him and licked and sniffed
to show our joy. Boogar was the first to return to his usual grumpy mood, but I know.
Baron had to accompany me to one of my check-ups at the hospital and they did the
same tests on him as they do on me. There seems nothing wrong with his heart. The
doctors think that Baron’s heart, though healthy, can not cope with the extreme need for
oxygen that Baron’s immense heavy body needs when he gets overly excited. This
makes him faint. Jan now knows a trick to calm down Baron’s heart in case it happens
again. He exerts pressure on Baron’s eyeballs for a few seconds and somehow this
makes his heart return to normal. After I accidentally pushed Baron into the pool, we
know it works. I tell you, Baron is one fit and strong dog. A while back, we had a Dogue
de Bordeaux visitor at our house that was very mean to me. Boogar does not like visitors
much, so he was locked away in the bedroom. He could see how the other dog was
abusing me though and he looked as if he was about to jump through the window to help
me. You do not want to get on Boogar’s wrong side, that is certain. But then came
Baron. The visitor must have felt over-confident and growled at Baron. At first Baron did
not seem to pay any attention, giving the visitor a feeling of security that was soon
proven to be out of place. It took no more than a few seconds before Jan pulled Baron
away, but by then the visitor had received a thrashing that he will surely never forget.
Even Boogar seemed to be surprised and stood behind the bedroom window with his
mouth wide open in amazement.
So, it is time to return to the present. As I indicated, three days
ago, for the first time in my life, I noticed that my heart is indeed
ill. Boogar and I had been playing, running up and down the hills
in the woods behind our house when suddenly I felt dizzy. I did
not faint and I did not fall over, I just felt sick. I was unable to
walk or see properly and it took me all my strength to get back
home. I have been feeling fine since, but I am not as hungry as I
used to be. I guess it had to start some time and I am happy
that we have had six such wonderful summer months. The
weather is deteriorating rapidly and the
first autumn storms will soon blow the
now colourful leaves off the trees. In a
mere few months it should start to snow
again and I will be there to play in it.
After all, I am no longer a little puppy; I am now a strong,
muscular dark brown Dogue de Bordeaux. I am almost the
biggest and strongest of them all. I have not yet saved the
world, but Baron and I are working on a more realistic scheme
and the world has not heard the last of me yet. In the meantime,
we assist Bettina on a project a little closer to home by helping
other Dogue de Bordeaux find new homes and loving caring
families. We have already saved five desperate dogs and we will continue to rescue
more.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Today is a big day. Not only is it Baron and Boogar’s fifth Birthday, but Jan’s sister
Marleen is coming for the weekend! She is a wonderful and pretty girl that brings us liver
sausages from Holland. I can not wait till she gets here! I usually help people carry their
bags, and for certain I will do so today.
I have not been feeling well. We went for
another walk and I hardly made it home. I
collapsed the second we entered the
house. I have been feeling very tired. I
want to go out and play with my sister
Layla, but I just can not do it. Only weeks
ago we used to spend hours outside and
run and play up and down our hill. We
would rest at the fence and look at our
neighbour’s sheep. Sheep are weird. They
come for a few weeks, eat all the bushes
and grass until everything is gone and then
they leave again. They better not dare to
do that on our hill. We love the high grass
to hide and play in. I had a serious word with them too, just to ensure that they
understand.
I have had two more tests at the vet and my heart
has deteriorated rapidly. I know it has, but I am
trying so hard not to let anyone notice. Jan and
Bettina know though, for at occasions I have seen
tears in their eyes. They try not to let me see, but
I notice. I try and pretend everything is fine
whenever I can, so today I came up with a great
idea. I chewed a nice big hole in the bed like I
used to when I was a puppy. Bettina had just
cleaned the entire house for our guest, so she was
really happy. We all had a good laugh!
A famous artist has painted a picture of Baron, Boogar, Layla and I. Wow! It looks
absolutely amazing and I look strong, powerful and confident between the other three. It
will be framed and then it will get a very special place in our living room. I am the
handsome looking fellow top right, just above Boogar and next to my sister Layla, who is
just above Baron. It is also on several sites on the internet for everyone to see.
I have a bunch of stuff and plans to tell you, but now I need to help Bettina clean the
house for our guest. First, I am going to run outside and relieve myself. It is raining and
there is lots of mud, therefore I will make it quick and run back inside as quickly as I can.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Marleen was here at the weekend and we had a great time. And boy, did I greet her!
I am now on maximum medication and it makes
me feel much better then a few weeks ago.
Having said that, I think it makes me forget
things. Every time I woke up and saw Marleen I
thought “when did she get here?” I would jump
up and run over to her before I realized that she
was visiting us and I had already greeted her. It
made Bettina, Marleen and Jan laugh, so I am
not worried. Far more importantly, I can now
play on the hill with Layla again. A few times
each day we run out and jump through the high
grass. The leaves on the trees are now bright
red and brown, it truly is an amazing site.
Yesterday,
it rained for the first time in weeks.
Marleen’s arrival
Baron and Boogar prefer to stay inside when it
rains, but Layla and I love to get wet and roll down the hill in the mud.
I know I am feeling better and so does Boogar. Whilst I was ill, he would come over and
see how I was doing. I have learned to stay out of Boogar’s way at home to avoid
confrontation, but during the weeks that I was
ill, he would come to see how I was feeling. He
would even let me sleep on his pillow in the
bed. This may sound trivial to you, but
Boogar’s pillow is just about the most
dangerous place on earth. I found out the hard
way months ago when I got a little too close
and Boogar unmistakeably explained the rules
regarding his pillow. Yet the nights since I first
collapsed in the woods he has let me sleep on
it. He himself would lie on the floor next to me,
and it made me feel very secure and sheltered.
Those times are gone. Boogar has reclaimed
Boogar’s pillow
his pillow. He does let me sleep next to him in
the bed though.
We had more visitors! Back in the summer I had met Gina and Pelle, two more Dogue
the Bordeaux, and their humans Claudia and Frank. They were here again last week. Last
time I was allowed to swim with Pelle. Boogar is a great swimmer, and I can hold my
own, but Pelle must be the greatest swimmer on
the planet. Not only can he collect all the balls
from the pool at once, but he makes spectacular
dives from the side too! This time, it was not
quite the same though. Gina and Pelle brought
another Dogue de Bordeaux called Nico. Nico
has been in jail and looks like one mean tough
dog. His previous human put him in jail when he
went on holiday and forgot to pick him up when
he returned. Bettina got wind of this through
our Bordeaux rescue project and found Claudia
and Frank who have rescued Nico and have
Pelle the diver
given him a new home. Well, needless to say, it
was not a good idea to let this jailbird and
Boogar meet each other. As a matter of fact, it was not a good idea to let him meet
Baron either. Baron has had another fight with
a visiting Dogue de Bordeaux a few
weeks back. This dog’s name is Hugo, and he
sure is a pretty little boy. He is a tough little
fellow too, as he managed to give Baron a
proper cut on his cheek even though he is half
Baron’s size. So, plenty of reason to keep us
all separate and as Baron, Layla, Pelle and
Gina went for a long walk through the woods,
Boogar and I had to stay in the house and
Nico had to stay in the yard.
Hugo after the fight
Great, there I was alone at home with Boogar.
At home alone with a schizophrenic psychopath. The big question hat jumped to mind
was what mood Boogar was in. I quickly made an analysis of my chances. In my favour
was a not to be underestimated stroke of luck. Boogar knew that Nico was in the yard, so
chances were that he would be busy figuring out a way how to get there. But then again,
was this really in my favour? What if Boogar got frustrated with the reality that there was
a dog in the yard that he could not get to? Not to forget that he certainly would not be
happy about the fact that Baron and Layla were out walking with Gina and Pelle and he
had to stay at home. As I sat there thinking, keeping one eye on Boogar prowling for an
opportunity, a weird thought hit me. Both Boogar and I were in exactly the same
position, but for utterly different reasons. I was not allowed to run through the woods
because it might kill me, and Boogar was not allowed to run through the woods because
he might kill someone else. Now that was weird. This was something that needed further
analysis. Before I had a proper opportunity to come to any conclusion, both Boogar and I
heard it at the same time. The most
shattering,
heartbreaking
and
devastating scream I have heard in my
short life. The hair on my neck rose, my
skin turned pale and I looked at Boogar
in shock. Boogar glanced at me and
then we both realized what it was. It
was Nico outside in the yard in total and
utter panic. Hysterically, he was
screaming for Claudia and Frank. With a
frantic voice he called for his family,
crying feverishly. “Please do not leave
me here! What have I done?” Shivers
ran down my spine as Nico continued to
cry about his time in prison and what it
feels like to give someone all your love
Nico in jail
only to be left alone in a small cage for
eight months and to never see your family again. Tears shot to my eyes as I realized
that Nico thought he was being abandoned again. “Hey Nico, they will be back in no
time!” I screamed at the top of my voice. “Tell him that they will be back, Boogar!” I
yelled. Boogar looked at me. Minutes ago he had been planning an attack strategy, but I
recognized that those thoughts were now gone. Yet it was not panic I saw in his eyes. His
eyes were absolutely blank, as if all life had faded from them. It was as if he looked
straight at me without seeing anything. He simply stared right through me. It felt as if
his gaze lasted for minutes whilst Nico continued to cry. “Boogar!” I screamed. His eyes
focussed on me. “Buddy, my little friend, Nico has been disappointed too many times by
humans, there is nothing you or I can do to assure him that he has not been left again.”
That hit me with a hammer. Thoughts ran through my mind, one of which was the fact
that I am now much bigger than Boogar, yet he called me his little friend. That must
have been the medicine thinking, as I quickly realized that this was not relevant at this
moment in time. What evil could humans possibly conduct to achieve such pain in
something as strong and proud as a Dogue de Bordeaux? We soon found out. With his
deep, strong voice Boogar called down to Nico through the balcony doors. The strength
of Boogar’s voice must have startled him, as the crying stopped just long enough for
Boogar to continue. Boogar did not tell Nico not to worry though. Instead Boogar started
asking questions, one after the other. Initially Nico responded cautiously, but in no time
the two of them were talking. It was a peculiar experience to put it mildly. Here were the
two toughest dogs I had met, who only minutes ago would have tried to get at each
others throats, talking. I realized things are just never the way they seem. And I realized
something else. Humans are by far the most vicious and selfish creatures on this planet.
Nico told us about his time in prison. Not only did he tell us his own story of how his
master had brought him to prison, but he told us the stories of all the other dogs in
prison too. I am not ashamed to admit that I cried throughout. Out of the blue, his
master had brought him to jail, telling Nico that he needed to go away for a few weeks,
but that he would be back to pick Nico up again. But he never did. Nico had stood at the
door of his cage for weeks on end, peering through the bars in the hope of catching a
glimpse of his human or hearing the familiar sound of his human’s car. Weeks had turned
into months, but Nico did not give up hope. Other humans had come by to look at Nico
and some had even wanted to take Nico with them, but Nico had growled at them and
their dogs. How could his human ever find him if he went away with someone else? The
other dogs had told him his human would never return, yet Nico remained proudly at the
door of his cage and waited. The other dogs had told him their own stories of how they
were half beaten to death, how they were tied to trees in the woods and abandoned, and
how they were chained and left in the yard until the chains had cut large infected holes in
their necks and throats. The stories had brought tears to Nico’s eyes, but he waited
proudly and patiently. He had given his human all his love, surely he would return. But
his human never did.
After 7 months Nico had broken. The tears in his eyes from the stories the other dogs
had told him ran freely now and the crying turned to desperate howling. Nico howled for
30 days. Then two ladies came by and took Nico with them. The ladies brought another
Dogue de Bordeaux, but Nico did not care. The joy and willingness to live had flown from
his veins. The ladies took him to their home and attempted to revive him, but Nico had
lost all interest. He did not return the love and affection he was given. His human would
never find him now, his life was over as far as he was concerned. He wanted to die. This
hit me hard again. I will die, there is nothing I can do to stop it, but Nico actually wanted
to. It is not that I am afraid, I just do not want to. Not yet. I have places to go and
things to do. Baron has told me, that we are going to the sea in Holland in a few days.
Jan and Bettina have rented a little
house and apparently there are 27
kilometres of sandy beach right in front
of the house. I realized how unfair
things were. I have to die and my
humans are doing everything in their
power to please me as long as it lasts,
and Nico’s human treated him so badly,
that he actually wanted to die. I wonder
who is responsible for all this. I will
make a note to ask Baron.
After a few days at the lady’s house, a
man and a woman came to visit Nico;
Frank
and
Claudia.
Nico
had
immediately seen it in their eyes; these
people loved dogs. They cuddled him
and played with him like his human had
done a long time ago and they took Nico
Nico happy with his new friends!
in their car to their own house where he met Gina and Pelle. In the wonderful weeks of
love and happiness that followed, Nico had suppressed the sad and desperate times in
jail. Until this day where he found himself in our backyard, abandoned again.
“Nico?” Boogar said.
“Yes?” Nico responded still sniffing and sobbing.
“Look down the street and tell me what you see.” Boogar looked at me and winked with
one eye.
“Frank!” Nico shouted at the top of his voice. We could hear Nico dancing and cheering,
jumping up at the fence to the street as he realized Frank and Claudia had not
abandoned him. I looked at Boogar and the respect I had for him grew once more. I am
still petrified of him, do not misunderstand me, but he is one smart dog. By keeping Nico
busy he had calmed him down long enough for his humans to return. Boogar got up and
made himself comfortable on the couch, with his head on the armrest, his eyes gazing
blankly in the distance again.
“Boogar?” I asked.
His Eyes focussed once more as he looked at me.
I gathered all my courage and asked him the question that was running through my
head. “Would you still fight Nico?”
Boogar looked at me, then put his head back on the armrest. Seconds passed as I waited
for the answer that I already knew.
“Of course” he said, and with that his eyes turned blank and his gaze went off in the
distance again, over the distant hills, now covered with the brightly coloured autumn
trees.
I sat there for a moment thinking whether I dared ask the next logical question; why?
But then I heard the key turn in the door and I ran to greet Baron and Layla, Bettina and
Jan. I jumped up wildly and licked their faces extensively. I am one lucky dog.
By the way, Nico was saved from his prison ordeal through Bettina’s Bordeaux rescue
project.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Wow! Wow, wow, wow and another wow! I have just had the coolest most awesome
holiday ever! I do not even know where to begin! There were sand and sea and dunes
and a pool and WOW! Let me start off by showing you some pictures!
I tell you, I LOVE the sea! I do not know what kind of water they put in there, because it
tastes ridiculous, but there are waves to jump in, crabs to catch, and dunes to run up
and down on! We just had seven straight days of pure fun and relaxation. We could take
our car on the beach, right down to the waterfront and there was no one else in site for
27 kilometres! We went to the beach in the morning and again in the afternoon; every
single day! You can not believe how many things there are to sniff out. I saw shells and
jellyfish! I can not wait until we return there. In fact, I think we should move there! The
hills and woods at home are cool, but nothing beats the beaches and the sea in Holland!
If you want to have a great vacation with your dog, take him there!
http://www.ferienhaus-traum.de/
And do not forget to check out the video:
http://www.bordeauxdogs.de/funstuff-movies.htm
Monday, December 12, 2005
Well, the wows are over and done with for the time being. A couple of weeks ago I woke
up and could not stand up. I felt sick and my left rear leg was shaking. I could not put
any pressure on it, as pain shot through my hip every time I tried. The vet has taken
pictures and both my hips are suffering from something called HD, Hip Dysplasia. Some
of the medicines that I am taking for my heart are weakening my muscles and this
effects my hips. It is something Boogar suffers from too, which makes me kind of proud
that he and I share the same problem, but still it hurts. Boogar was operated on it and
can walk without problems since, but that is not an option in my case, as my heart would
not stand an operation. So, I have more medicine to take and these are quite good, I tell
you. They are painkillers and they make me feel kind of mellow and chilled out.
Last Friday I was at the university again to get another check-up on my heart. It
continues to deteriorate, yet the doctor says that it has not yet reached the size that it
should have at this stage of the disease. In fact, the doctor says it is unusual for a heart
to reach the illness stage it is in without having grown in size. I am not sure if this is
good or bad, but the doctor wants to test changing the dose of one medicine and raising
the dose of another. This should aid my muscles. One of the medicines I am taking
makes me nauseous and the doctor kindly subscribed two more medicines for my
stomach. All up, I now have to take 6 different kinds of medicine. Bettina hides all the
pills in a little paté, as if I would not notice. Hey, I share the same hip problem as
Boogar, so I am tough and I can take anything they throw at me. I pretend not to notice
her trick; after all, there is no need to upset her. I have lost a lot of weight and at the
moment I do not look like the biggest and strongest Dogue de Bordeaux of them all, but
I am sure the medicine will reverse that in no time.
In four weeks I need to return to the University for another check-up and so far the new
dose seems to work, because I feel quite good and can play with Layla again. Until then,
there is something much more important coming up; Christmas! We are all waiting for
Jan and Bettina to put that tree up. They hang all sorts of cool stuff from the branches
for us to play with. Well, it is not really stuff for us to play with, but we still do. After all,
we are Dogue the Bordeaux and therefore have the added benefit of being known as
proud and stubborn dogs that listen in their own time. The Christmas tree is one of those
opportunities to show how stubborn we really are.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Well. That sucks. So much
for Christmas. Whilst we
are preparing to pull all the
decoration from the tree
and drool all over the
presents,
other
dogs
actually find themselves
underneath the Christmas
tree, nicely wrapped up in
pretty little boxes with
ribbons around them. And
I am not talking about cute
little puppies that waggle
their tails and lick your
faces. Well, from a certain
perspective, I guess I am.
Skinned alive…
With one substantial difference though. These
puppies do not waggle and lick any longer; these
puppies have been turned into fur coats. And not
only were they turned into fur coats, but they were
killed in a despicable and cruel manner. First they
are knocked half unconscious and then their skin is
cut off whilst they are still alive! Their dying bodies
are then thrown on a big pile and the last thing
those puppies see are their brothers and sisters
dying with them. What kind of people would want to
wear a coat made that way? What have puppies done to be treated this way? How can
any human being kill any animal in such a way? And why puppies? We have unlimited
loyalty in our veins. You can abuse us and mistreat us as much as you want, we will still
love you. Irrevocably. If you do not believe what I am telling you, check out this video:
http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/videodirect.asp?video=fur_farm
.
I hope this video made you fall off your chair
in shock and disgust. I was in fact lying on the
floor when I first learned of some of the
atrocities that humans commit to animals, but
I sure would have fallen off a chair had I been
on one. Did you know, that it takes about
twenty puppies to make a fur coat? I did not;
I did not even know we were used to make fur
coats. But Boogar and Baron knew.
Bettina had left the house to visit her parents,
so we were at home alone with Jan. He pretty
much lets us do whatever we please, so we
spent a long time chasing each other through
the house and the garden. We barked at
everyone that passed down the street and
thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Around noon
we all gathered in the living room. There are
plenty of places to lie down and rest a little.
Each of us has a duvet, there are two large,
leather dog beds and let us not forget the
couch and chairs either. After all the fun
outside, I chose to lie on the cold marble floor.
The floor cools and generally makes me feel
better. Whilst I was lying there, I looked over
at Boogar. Boogar had made himself comfortable on one of the duvets. Jan had bought
us four bones a couple of days ago; one for each of us. As always, it turned out that
Boogar had already eaten three of them and half of the last one was lying right in front
of his nose. It is Boogar’s way of looking
for trouble. He seems absolutely
uninterested in the bone, but if you get
close to him, he transforms from a cute
sleeping dog to a vicious growling
monster. He does not really attack at
those moments, so sometimes Layla
and I play daredevil by pretending to
walk his way. Whilst I was looking at
him, my thoughts wandered to the
words he had spoken on the day that
Nico was in our yard; “Of course”, he
had said. Of course he would fight. I
remembered asking myself why? Why
does Boogar always fight? That question
has been playing around in my head
since that day early in November. A
question not answered until today.
I looked over to Baron who was lying on another duvet but not sleeping. Layla was
solidly asleep just behind the couch. I do not know what got hold of me, but suddenly I
heard myself say it:
“Boogar?” my eyes opened wide in shock. Did I really just say that?
Boogar’s paw instantly moved on top of his bone and he was just about to lift those lowhanging cheeks to show me his big white teeth when he realized, that I was in fact not
an immediate threat to his bone.
“What?” he said looking at me sceptically, still holding on to his bone.
Oh my god, I certainly had his attention now. But did I really want it? Frantically I
searched for something irrelevant to say, but then I gathered all my courage, and out it
came.
“Why did you still want to fight Nico after you comforted him?” I asked. Well, out on the
table it was. Baron raised his ears not to miss any of this. He turned his big head towards
Boogar and if he had been anywhere near to falling asleep, he was most definitely wide
awake now. Boogar looked at me, his face suddenly lacking any emotion.
“Because I can” he responded with no hesitation. Now what kind of answer was that? I
know he can, but that is no reason to do so, now is it? Anyone just has to look at Boogar
to realize that he can, so why prove it? He looked at me for a few seconds, waiting for
another question, and then closed his eyes. Baron obviously did not expect any further
questions either, as his ears relaxed.
“Boogar?” I asked again, trying to remain calm. Boogar opened his eyes and Baron
raised his ears.
“What?” Boogar responded with slight irritation in his voice. Baron now looked at me,
obviously curious to know what else could possibly be important enough to disturb
Boogar’s rest. That was a damn good question. What else did I want to know? Hundreds
of questions were soaring through my head, so I randomly picked one.
“Do you think it will snow before Christmas?” I heard myself say. Now, what a stupid
question that was! How could that possibly be the question that I asked? Then again, it
did interest me. Boogar slowly got up on his feet and looked at me long enough to make
me feel very uneasy. I quickly looked away from those penetrating eyes. Slowly his
immense muscular body moved toward me. I could feel Boogar’s breath on my nose as
he stopped and looked me in the eyes. There was no way that I could return his gaze. I
was about to slowly crawl backwards when Boogar lifted his head and looked out the
window.
“Yes Buddy, it will snow, but what difference does that make?” he asked as his eyes
locked onto mine again. I was struggling to find something smart to say, but before I
could, Boogar walked away and disappeared around the corner that joins our living room
to the hallway.
Well. There it was. Adding up all possible consequences, I figured I got away rather well.
Most importantly, it was over. I was out of the immediate line of fire. Yet, my question
was unanswered and I looked at Baron.
“Baron?” I asked. Baron smiled at me before he responded.
“Buddy, you want to know why Boogar is the way he is, don’t you? It is not an easy
question to answer. Boogar is what I would call a ‘knower’. Boogar knows things you
could not begin to imagine. His knowledge has made him very tough and cautious.
Though he would die to protect us and Jan and Bettina, he has decided to make no
friends beyond his immediate family. It is his way of ensuring that he does not get hurt.
If you ask me, he actually hurts more this way, but we all need to cope with reality as we
see fit. Boogar was much smaller than all of us when he was born, and he had to fight
nine of our brothers and sisters just to survive. Two of us died during those days. He was
very ill and only through his immense strength of character and his will to survive did he
manage to pull through. Having said all that, you will not find anyone with a bigger heart
or a greater sense of justice than Boogar. He seems tough, but he would never seriously
hurt anyone. I understand that it is important for Boogar to be regarded as the boss and
I am happy leaving it that way. And so should you.” That was a speech that raised more
questions. First and Foremost, I would never ever doubt that Boogar is the boss. I would
not dare. No matter what Baron said, to me Boogar did not just act the part; he was the
part. But I did manage to focus on what was important.
“What does Boogar know?” I asked. Baron looked me in the eyes.
“Buddy, why burden yourself with knowledge that you are unable to influence? Enjoy
your life and be happy!” he responded.
“I have watched the news and I have seen what humans do to each other and the world.
We even wrote a letter to Bush, remember? Do not treat me like a baby. I have seen the
things humans do to dogs and I have heard Nico’s account of jail. What else could there
possibly be?” I pleaded to
Baron. Surely there could be
nothing worse than everything
I already know.
“Buddy, you have not even
skimmed the surface yet.
Please remember that Bush did
not respond. You will just hurt
yourself knowing that there are
things you can not influence.”
Baron spoke the words with a
hopeful glance in his eyes that
I would let go. But not me,
though now I wished I had.
“I must know Baron! I must!” I
looked him in the eyes begging
now.
Baron looked at me for at least
Baron at Jan’s computer
20 seconds before he sighed:
“Alright Buddy, come with me”.
I remember feeling proud and grown-up as Baron took me to Jan’s computer and set me
down beside him. The pride is gone, for I cried throughout everything that Baron showed
me. To be honest, I cried hysterically. In those few hours that went by in a blur of tears,
Baron showed me what humans do to animals. All animals, no exceptions. Seals that get
their heads smashed in, bears that are kept their entire lives in cages too small to move
whilst tubes transport fluids from their infected wounds, cows with broken legs and tears
in their eyes as they are transported to be slaughtered, dogs that are put on hooks alive
to be used as shark-bait, sharks that are thrown back in the sea with their fins cut off,
sheep that have their
backsides cut off to
form
big
bloody
wounds,
rhinoceros
whose noses are cut off,
elephants that are shot
for their ivory, gorillas
who get their feet
chopped off, whales that
are
harpooned
with
explosives
and
then
hung upside down to
drown and puppies that
get their skins torn off
before they are made
into
fur
coats
and
cooked for dinner. There
are even humans that have sex with animals! And humans that pay to see others have
sex with animals!
What are you humans doing?
What is wrong with you people?
Why?
I eat meet too, and I
understand
that
animals must die to
provide food, but what
has happened to your
dignity? How did you
turn out to be like
this?
Please tell me why you
do nothing to stop
this. Look me in the
eyes and explain to
me how you can let
this happen? Please do
not tell me you can
look at the pictures
and the videos without
crying. Please do not
tell me you can not do
anything to stop it.
Before I die, look me
in the eyes and tell me
you will do something to
stop it. I beg you.
Please.
Look me in the eyes…
Monday, November 20, 2006
Wow, has time flown by. Only one more month until another Christmas and I am deeply
ashamed. I get hundreds of e-mails from all over the world asking me how I am doing
and to wish me luck, yet I have not had the courtesy to continue my story. For that, I am
sorry.
Let me start of with the good news! I am alive!
Not only am I alive, but I now am one of the
biggest Dogue de Bordeaux around. And I have
my own collar with my name on it, just like
Baron and Boogar! I am taller than Baron and
as heavy as Boogar. I am not the strongest,
logically; no Dogue de Bordeaux will ever be
stronger than Boogar and Baron. But I am
certainly strong enough to pull Jan around the
fields and through the forest as I please! I love
doing this. I will let you into a little secret.
Because the doctor said I could die at any
moment and I will never turn two years old,
Bettina and Jan never bothered to train me like
they did the other three. They just wanted me
to enjoy my life. They do not know, but I can
do sit, down, come, heel, and for all I care, I
can sing the alphabet backwards to the tune of
any Rolling Stones song whilst juggling three
bananas, but I will never let Bettina and Jan
know! To them, I pretend I am the little
untrained puppy that I was two years ago and
therefore I can pretty much do as I please.
Having said that, I behave most of the time,
but every now and then, my sister and I make
fun of them by pretending I do not know
anything!
I am now fully grown…
So why have I not written? There really is no excuse for it, other than the simple fact
that I have been very busy. It has been a year filled with extreme emotions, both
positive and also very negative. I have laughed and I have cried. So let me fill you in and
get you up to speed.
Let me start off at the end, because you probably want to know about my health first and
foremost. Two weeks ago, I went to see Dr. Hildebrand at the university clinic for pets in
Giessen to see how my heart is doing. He is happy with the way the medicine is
controlling my heart, but it does deteriorate continuously and I now have to take yet
another medicine. I tell you, the doctor looked sicker than I do! He had a big red nose
like the one Jan had and he was sneezing and coughing all the time. Imagine that, a
doctor that gets ill! He is a great doctor though, because with his help, I turned two
years old on the 18th of July. I am now two years, four months and two days old. That is
four months and two days older than predicted! Doctor Hildebrand knows of exactly one
dog, that lived to be six with the heart disease that I have, and I have decided that I will
be the first to turn seven. And eight. And nine. I still have so much to do. Soldiers are
still fighting over oil, animals are still being slaughtered all over the world, I have not
met Duke, I have not seen wild boar, and I have not yet found the ant-eater either. Well,
maybe nine is pushing it a little. The average Dogue de Bordeaux dies before the age of
six. Baron and Boogar turned six only a few weeks ago. This scares me. I never
calculated on either of them going before me. But this year, there was many a time that
I thought I had lost them forever and it would be them waiting for me at Rainbow Bridge
rather than the other way around.
Back in March, we spent another week at
the beach house in Ameland. Marleen and
her boyfriend Dennis were there and we
simply had the time of our lives running
through the dunes and chasing the foam
that was being blown across the beach by
the cold winter winds. Jan’s parents were
there in another beach house with their
two Rottweiler Bas and Daan. Daan also
has a heart disease and he is now eight
years old. It is not the same disease I
have, but still.
The first time Jan’s dad came to see us,
At the beach in Ameland…
he had a rabbit on his head! Can you
believe the audacity of that rabbit? That must have been the silliest, dumbest rabbit on
this planet! Not only was he sitting on a human head, but he actually stayed on as Jan’s
dad walked into a house with four Dogue de Bordeaux, one of them being Boogar. How
incredibly stupid can you get? With
amazement I watched as the rabbit sat on
his head whilst Jan’s dad greeted and
cuddled us. Now, I like rabbits, but not
when they start sitting on human beings.
“Not with me, you son of a rabbit!” I
thought as I jumped up and cleanly caught
the little bastard between my teeth. As I
stood there proudly with the rabbit in my
mouth, I noticed Baron and Boogar rolling
on the floor with laughter. I looked around
the room, and sure enough, everyone was
laughing.
You
can
imagine
my
embarrassment as I let go of the rabbit. A
closer inspection and a good sniff
confirmed my mistake. It was no more
The rabbit on Jan’s dad’s head…
than a fur hat, and a fake one at that. How
was I supposed to know, that humans wear hats that look like real rabbits? The fact that
Boogar did not instantly jump on Jan’s Father’s head should have made me suspicious I
guess. Apart from this little blunder, the week in Ameland was amazing and the good
news is, we are going there again in two weeks! There is another cool video for you to
see on the internet which will give you a much better impression of the fun we had than I
could possibly ever describe in words:
http://www.bordeauxdogs.de/funstuff-movies.htm
Baron and I spent a lot of quality time on Ameland working out ways to save the world.
Well, I worked on ways to save the world and Baron explained why my plans were not
feasible. Baron had been ill for a while. Nothing serious, but he had a problem with his
prostate which caused him to continue peeing even after he stopped. First, I thought it
was a trick. I make it a habit to pee wherever Baron and Boogar pee, but now that Baron
was peeing all over the place, I simply could not keep up. It turned out that his prostate
had grown dramatically and was causing pressure on his bladder. The cure for this is
castration and sure enough, the day we returned from Ameland, Baron had to see a
doctor for surgery. Jan and Bettina were worried sick and therefore I was too. Dogue de
Bordeaux do not handle anaesthetics well and many die during simple operations.
Whereas Boogar has been through enough surgery to know that he handles anaesthetics
well, there was a great deal of uncertainty with Baron.
Of course, I was not allowed to come, so I waited at the front door with Boogar and Layla
for Baron to return. As time passed, I grew more and more anxious. I looked at Boogar a
lot to see if he was relaxed and certainly he did not show it if he was not. He did notice
my anxiety though.
“Buddy, relax. Baron has been taken to one of the most famous Dogue de Bordeaux
doctors in Holland, nothing will happen”, he volunteered as he licked his paws.
And sure enough, late in the afternoon, Bettina and Jan returned with Baron. We all had
a good sniff and welcomed him back. He was obviously not feeling well, so we let him
rest on his blanket in the living room. I had seen this before after Layla’s operation. I
was certain Baron would be up and running and playing again in the evening. As time
progressed, however, Baron looked worse. I walked over to have a look at him and he
got up and walked away from me. This, I had never seen before. My best friend in the
whole world did not want to be with me. I looked at Boogar and he looked concerned. I
looked at Layla, but she was tight asleep on the couch. Then, I noticed Jan standing in
the opening to the corridor. He looked at Baron and called his name. Baron looked up
tiredly with a lifeless gaze in his eyes that scared me. Jan called him again and slowly
Baron followed him outside. He peed against one of the flower pots that decorates our
front yard and collapsed. “Baron!” I screamed at the top of my voice as I saw Jan run
towards the lifeless body on the lawn. OK! This I have seen before! What do we need? A
car! Car keys! In total and utter panic I started running through the house, forgetting
what I was looking for. Damn! Obviously, Jan was able to think more clearly than I was,
because as I returned to the front door, I just caught a glimpse of Baron being heaved
into the car. I heard Bettina on the phone to the vet and then the door was slammed
shut. Layla was sitting in a corner shaking. Boogar was standing next to me motionlessly
and I was simply crying my eyes out. I was certain Baron was going to die!
It seemed forever until we heard the familiar deep sound of our car return down the
street. Our front door has shaded glass in it which you can not see through properly, but
all three of us had our noses pressed against the glass, looking for a glimpse of Baron. I
could only guess Jan and Bettina getting out of the car, and then I heard the sound of
the back of the Cherokee being opened. Surely, that was a good sign! They would not
open it if Baron was not in it, now would they? As we heard the keys in the front door we
all jumped up against it in an effort to see Baron. And there he was. He looked ill and
weak and old, but he was alive! Without saying anything he walked past us and
awkwardly put his big body down on his blanket. This did not look good. Worried sickly,
we gathered around Baron. Big tears were rolling down my eyes as I heard him sighing
and moaning. My only true friend in the world was seriously ill and there was nothing I
could do.
The next morning, Jan took Baron to the vet again and an hour or so later, Bettina
received a call to bring our fast car to the vet, Baron had to be taken to the clinic where
they check my heart. Bettina did not realize it at the time, but the fast car was needed in
able to get there on time. Baron’s heart was not coping properly with something in his
body and he needed heart treatment as soon as possible. Again, the three of us waited
for hours and hoped for the sound of our car coming down the street. When it finally did,
it was without Baron. I started crying again, but Boogar interrupted me. “Wait, Buddy,
let’s hear what is going on first”, he demanded. Bettina and Jan told us, that Baron had
to stay in intensive care in the clinic because his heart was not working properly and that
the doctors had to observe him constantly whilst doing more tests to find the cause.
No one slept much that night. At some point I must have fallen asleep and from there on
it seemed as if everything moved in slow motion. I remember waking up and seeing Jan
at the far end of the bed, for the second time in my life, with tears in his eyes. I
remember seeing Bettina jump out of bed crying hysterically at the sight of Jan’s
sadness. I remember Boogar lying motionless on his pillow looking at Jan with desperate
yet focussed eyes. I remember Layla shaking on her leather bed. And I remember all of
us waiting for Jan to say the words we did not want to hear.
“The clinic called” he said as Bettina stood there shaking in agony. “They have found
severe internal bleeding and they must operate as soon as possible. The likelihood of
Baron surviving the operation is so small, that they are willing to wait with the operation
so that we can go and say goodbye, for we will most likely not see him alive again.”
“No!” I screamed at the top of my voice. That means I will never see him again! There
was no way I could control my tears now. I cried whilst Bettina got dressed and I cried as
they left to say goodbye to Baron. I cried all day, lying right behind the front door. I
would never see my friend Baron again. I forgot all about Boogar and Layla until I felt
Boogar’s paw on my back. Normally, that would be enough to make me jump through
the roof, but I just did not care anymore. I looked at Boogar and I noticed his eyes were
red. Immediately, I started crying even harder.
“Buddy!” he said with his deep distinctive voice.
“What?” I whispered as big tears rolled down my cheeks.
“Stop crying” he commanded as he wiped the tears off my cheeks. “There is still hope.”
“Did you not hear what Jan said?” I asked.
“Yes, I did. But these are the best doctors in the country. If there is a chance, they will
find it.” Boogar replied in a calm voice.
“What if they don’t?” I howled.
Boogar looked at me for a few seconds. “If they don’t, you will see Baron again at the
Rainbow Bridge, the place where one day, we will all gather. You know that.”
That was true. I did know that. The place where one
day, all dogs will be happy and reunited with their
loved ones. Baron had told me about that place. But I
was supposed to wait there for Baron with Lobbes and
not this way around. What am I going to do without
my best friend at my side, our communications
specialist? Yet, Boogar’s words soothed me. He
stayed with me until Jan and Bettina returned.
They brought the best news I had heard in my short
life so far; Baron survived the operation and the
doctors were confident that he would pull through. He
had to stay in the clinic for another five days and
when he returned he had lost 10 Kilos. That made
him lighter than me! They had shaved his entire coat
and he had a scar on his belly three times the size
Layla had after her operation. He recovered quickly
although the wound on his belly opened again.
The doctor that saved Baron…
Bettina had to treat it several times a day and
he had to wear one of Jan’s T-Shirts which made
him look funny. But he survived and we could
continue our long discussions and I could run all
my plans to save the world by him as if nothing
had ever happened. He had to take the same
medicine that the doctor subscribed me for
several months until his heart was completely
healthy again.
Baron in Jan’s T-Shirt…
In June we went on a two week vacation to Makkum in Holland. The house there is
amazing. It is actually in the water, so it is perfect for the boat and swimming. There are
some great beaches and you can walk in the water for miles before it gets deep. Even
Baron and Layla go swimming there. They never go in our own pool unless Boogar and I
push them in, which happens occasionally. Jan took us out on the boat to go fishing. The
rest of the summer we spent in and around our pool at home. Boogar is so cool. I can
swim faster, but Boogar now knows how to dive! He will actually dive down under water
to pick up his toys. Let me show you some pictures of the summer months so that you
can see for yourself:
At the end of September, the leaves slowly turned bright yellow, brown and red again.
The wind picked up and howled around our house for weeks on end. The days became
shorter and sure enough, by mid October, the pool was too cold to swim in. I like this
time of year. Apart from the fact that I feel better when it is not so humid, we go for
walks on the surrounding fields. Baron and Boogar also get to go into the woods, but that
is simply too far for my heart. And as always, just as everything seemed to be going
well, another tragedy occurred.
I was lying in Jan’s office and Jan was working on his computer when we heard Bettina in
the living room.
“Come here for a second, will you?” she said with a calm voice.
“What’s up?” Jan replied.
“Come here!” This time it sounded more like an order than a request, but it was the tone
in her voice that startled us.
Jan and I jumped up and ran into the living room just in time to see Bettina standing
over Baron. She was trying to keep him on his feet, but he was clearly fainting. For me,
time turned to slow motion again. I remember Jan accelerating towards Baron, falling
down on his knees, opening Baron’s mouth and sticking his hand down his throat. I
remember Boogar and Layla jumping up. I remember Baron collapsing and Jan sticking
his hand deeper in his throat. And then I was drawn back into normal speed reality as
Jan said “I can not reach it, he is going to die.” His voice sounded amazingly calm. We all
looked at him in desperation. Bettina started crying. Jan took Baron’s head, opened his
mouth once more and believe it or not, his entire arm disappeared in Baron’s throat. As
he was unable to pull out whatever was blocking Baron’s throat he had instantly decided
to push it all the way through, freeing Baron’s throat and enabling him to breathe again.
Within seconds, Baron was back on his feet, took a good look around, raised his head
with his typical arrogant look and stretched out on his blanket as if nothing had
happened.
There have been more tragedies in the
last weeks. Baron underwent another
operation because he had a large
growth in his mouth. It was removed
and tests in a laboratory have shown it
not to be malignant. Boogar was unable
to walk properly for weeks. The leg that
he was operated on back when he was
young just did not seem to work
anymore. For Boogar to show that he is
hurting, the pain must be unbearable.
The doctor diagnosed arthritis and with
some yellow tablets, he was back on his
feet within days. My little sister Layla
has had her share of bad luck. Whilst
The growth in Baron’s mouth…
playing
in
the garden,
she smashed her knee which caused her kneecap to slide out
of its designated position. Just like Boogar, she could only
walk on three legs. Unlike Boogar, she screamed in agony
every time she moved her knee. She too underwent surgery
and she is still recovering. She can only go for short walks,
which is great for me, because this means that we can go
together. Layla and I go for short walks on the fields whilst
Baron and Boogar take the long route through the woods.
Yet, despite all the tragedies, we have had a fantastic year.
Jan and Bettina have been home most of the time so we
have had lots of time to cuddle and play. Only last week, I
was allowed to go on a trip to a large gathering of Dogue de
Bordeaux in Heerlen, Holland. Two nice couples had
organised a walk especially for our breed and over 50
Layla’s knee…
Dogues turned up for the event. I did not enjoy it all that
much at first, because I figured we were making another trip
to the heart clinic. By the time I realized that we were actually going for a walk, it had
almost ended. Normally Layla goes to these events, but since her knee surgery happened
only a few days before, she could not go. Bettina and Jan made an exception and I went
instead. I did get my picture in the paper though! How cool is that! Well, you can not see
my head but I am in the picture anyway.
As far as making a difference to the world is concerned, I have not made a great deal of
progress this year. In fact, I have made absolutely no progress at all. Baron says I am
making a difference by writing down my thoughts in this journal but I disagree. I must
find a way to make every person in the world realize that things must change. First I
must understand the way humans think and that is certainly a challenge. You would think
that all people would agree that it makes no sense killing each other, but they do not. If
they cannot agree on that, how can they ever agree not to kill animals? I get e-mails
from people all over the world wishing me well and supporting me in my quest. But I also
get messages from people saying that I am a bad dog for saying bad things about
President Bush. Baron hides these messages from me, but I am not stupid. I am two
years, four months, and two days old and I now am one of the biggest Dogue de
Bordeaux on this beautiful planet. Maybe not the strongest, but I can read. It hurts, but I
am not done. As long as my heart beats, I will carry on.
Monday, January 07, 2008
I am not sure how I shall summarize the last year for you, as it is filled with both severe
tragedy and with intense happiness. First
and foremost, Bas and Daan are dead.
Both of them died within months from
each other. Although everyone was
expecting Daan to die first from his heart
disease and ever more intense epileptic
attacks, it was actually Bas who joined
Lobbes at Rainbow Bridge first. Out of the
blue he had collapsed with a tumour on
his spleen that had reached the size of a
football before it exploded in his belly
spreading cancer sells throughout his
body. Although doctor’s saved his life he
deteriorated rapidly thereafter and developed extreme pains in his hips. At the end he
could not walk and his eyes could not conceal his desire for the agony to end. I learned
that there is little more intense for any man to do in life than to put his own dog to sleep
and I hope I will never have to ask Jan or Bettina to do this for me. With Bas gone, Daan
quickly deteriorated and before long on a dark night when he and Jan’s mom were alone
in the house he cried out one last time and died instantly in his bed.
I will spare you the other tragedies but one thing is worth mentioning; I had an operation
too. I had hurt my elbow and had a hard time walking because of the pain. Obviously,
my heart condition does not go well with anaesthetics so it was a very risky operation to
perform. I was not worried at all because the doctor that carried out the surgery is Dr.
Maarten Kappen, the best Dogue de Bordeaux expert there is. He has performed surgery
on Boogar, Buddy and Layla, so it was only fair that I had my turn. The operation was a
complete success and within days I could walk absolutely free of pain again.
Only a few days after Daan died, we got a new human! She is the smallest human on the
planet and she can not even walk but she is the cutest little girl I have ever seen. Her
name is Isabella and she smiles all the
time. Seeing her lying in her little bed,
oblivious to all the pain, hatred, anger and
tragedy in the world, has reinforced my
dedication to fulfil my quest in pursuit of a
better planet. It is a tough battle, as I
struggle to understand why things are the
way they are, but Boogar and Baron have
helped me a lot over the last year.
Shortly before Isabella was born, we
moved from our house on the mountain to
a new house in Holland. The house is
smaller and the view is not as spectacular
Our new human with Baron…
but the garden is huge and surrounded by
water! I miss my pool at times but our new
garden has a big pond, and guess what; we are allowed to go in it anytime we like!
Needless to say, I spent most of my time right in the middle. This pond is cool. It is not
clean and blue like our old pool but dark and muddy and if I stand in it long enough I
turn black and smell like a pig. Once I do, I run into the house to show the others and
my humans how black I am. Particularly Bettina is elated and plays with me. She kindly
cleans me up with a large towel so that I can run
right back into the pond to turn black all over
again! There are lots of animals on the fields
around the house and obviously we bark at all of
them. There are horses and sheep, swans, geese,
ducks, pheasants, rabbits, and chickens, but best
of all, there are two poodlehorses! Remember the
pink poodle I showed you a few years back? Well,
you are not going to believe it, but they come in
super size horse format! OK, they are not pink,
but they sure look just as ridiculous. We all have a
good laugh at them when they come and greet us
at the fence. The front yard is covered with fruit
trees and borders with a street which separates our
A poodlehorse…
garden from a large canal and a little lake. In the
summertime it is a beautiful place to lie in the
shade and observe the pedestrians and cyclists that enjoy the scenery as they pass by
our house. It is here, on a late summer afternoon, that I learned more about why things
are the way they are.
Layla and I were sitting in the corner by the dark wooden fence whilst Baron and Boogar
were sleeping underneath an apple tree. I was pondering over something that I kept
reading about on the internet in my search to comprehend everything. I noticed Baron’s
eyes were opening and closing so he was obviously not asleep. A perfect time to ask him.
“Baron?” I asked, looking at Boogar. After all, waking up Boogar is not a recommended
activity at the best of times. And indeed, as Baron’s eyes opened and looked at me, I
could see Boogar’s ears turn towards me. Right, he was awake but he looked peaceful
enough. Having Baron’s attention, I plunged right in with my question.
“What is god?” I enquired, keeping my eyes on Boogar. He did not react so I looked over
to Baron in pursuit of an answer.
Baron looked me in the eyes long enough before he answered for me to know that this
was going to be an interesting response.
“To many humans, god is the creator and overseer of the universe and …” Baron started
to say when he was harshly interrupted.
“Bullshit!” Boogar screamed with his eyes still shut.
Baron’s eyes rolled upwards and his big head turned towards Boogar, who had a big
smirk on his face.
“You see Buddy, a lot of humans are what they call religious.” Baron continued, looking
at me again. “A religion is a set of beliefs and practices that….”
“Bullshit!” Boogar screamed again before Baron could finish his sentence.
“Right Boogar, why don’t you tell Buddy what god is.” Baron said as he put his head back
on the grass and shut his eyes.
“I just did! Twice! Just like I said; Bullshit!” Boogar replied as the smirk on his face grew.
“Damn Boogar, explain things properly so that Buddy understands.” Baron mumbled
from between the grass.
“Yes Boogar, please do explain.” I asked.
Boogar’s eyes opened and I immediately noticed the intensity that encompassed his gaze
as he looked me straight in the eyes.
“Buddy, god is a fictitious concept that billions of humans around the world believe in.”
Boogar said in a remarkably clear and strong voice. “And what is worse is that those
billions of humans do not believe in one and the same god, but they believe in different
gods and that so fanatically, that they are willing to kill each other over it. Like Baron
said, they believe god created the universe and that he oversees it, and whenever they
need help, they pray to god and hope that he responds.”
I had to laugh, why would you pray to something that does not exist?
“Do not laugh Buddy!” Boogar commanded, “The human belief in god is the root of all
evil. It has been and is the cause of death and destruction around the globe and as long
as humans do not respect each other’s lives, they will never respect ours. And the sick
irony of it all is that the entire concept was thought up in the first place to keep humans
under control and make them behave. For if they do not behave and do not believe in
god, they go to a place they call hell and there they burn in a fire for all eternity.”
Well, that certainly put things in perspective, though I did not quite know what
perspective. In fact it made absolutely no sense at all. Why would god have people burn
for not believing in him?
“Has anyone ever seen this god?” I asked.
“Of course not Buddy, you can not see what does not exist.” Boogar replied.
“Then it is damn unfair to have people burn for not believing. Then why do people believe
in the first place? They have not even seen the guy!” I raised the question, already
knowing the answer.
“Because they are scared to die Buddy.” Boogar responded.
“But if they are so scared, why are they not behaving?” I continued my questioning.
“Good question Buddy, imagine what they would be capable off if they did not believe.”
Boogar looked at Baron as he spoke those words. Baron was listening but his eyes were
still shut.
“Are all humans stupid?” I had to know.
“No, they are just scared. Scared of not knowing what happens after death. With all their
brains, they fear what they do not understand and death is the ultimate mystery to
them.” Boogar said.
“But when we die, we all meet up at Rainbow Bridge.” I knew that much. And that was
certainly nothing to be afraid of.
“That is right Buddy.” Baron interrupted as he opened his eyes and looked at Boogar.
Boogar looked back at Baron. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something
but closed it again before he did.
“Does this so called god make humans mistreat animals?” I asked. After all, if this were
so, my task would be easy. I would just have to tell all humans that god does not exist
and voila; my job would be done.
“Only partly Buddy.” Boogar replied, “For certain it has formed the thesis in human heads
that human lives are more valuable than the lives of animals. In fact, in some religions,
those that do not believe are called monkeys and pigs as if that were an insult. After all,
their ‘god’ gave them the tools and power to rule the world so in their minds they
consider themselves superior.”
Well, partly was at least a beginning so there was my task; I had to let the world know
that god does not exist and that there was absolutely nothing to worry about. It was
beyond me how humans could consider themselves superior with the mess they were
causing but at least I had a starting point.
“Right, I said, I need to let humans know that god does not exist.” I shared my
conclusion.
“No Buddy,” Boogar said, “humans need to figure out that what happens after death is
completely irrelevant and it is their life on earth that matters. And those lives will soon
be impossible if they do not learn to protect the planet and all that is on it. And that,
they need to figure out all by themselves. And most,” he paused for a few seconds,
“most never will.” He got up as he spoke those words and looked at me. He looked like
he was going to say something else but then he looked at Baron who returned his gaze.
Whatever it was, we were not going to find out because Boogar turned and walked away.
As he passed the fence he jumped up and growled at the poodlehorse which was grazing
peacefully oblivious to all that was spoken on that afternoon. He certainly was not
oblivious to Boogar’s growling, as he must have jumped half a mile as Boogar launched
his attack. Boogar smirked again and disappeared behind the house.
All in all, this entire conversation was of absolutely no use to me. I looked at Baron.
“What am I going to do Baron? How am I ever going to succeed in my quest? I looked at
him trying to avoid the tears I felt crawling up into my eyes.
“I know what you are going to do Buddy, you and I are going to make a video and post it
on the internet for the entire world to see. In that video you will show how beautiful this
planet is and then you will show what humans are doing to it, to themselves, and to all
living creatures. That way they can compare the two and maybe some will see the light.
What do you think about that?” Baron asked.
“That is a great idea!” I screamed. “That is exactly what we are going to do!” I was
delighted. I danced around the apple tree and hugged Layla. She licked my face.
“When can we start Baron?” I wanted to know.
“Tonight my friend.” Baron winked at me. “We will start tonight.”
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Baron and I have been collecting thousands of pictures from the internet which we will
use to let everybody know what a wonderful planet we live on. The next part of the
project is to collect footage of the terrible things humans do to each other and the living
creatures on this planet. I thought I had seen it all, but there is no limit to the pain and
suffering humans cause. Baron and I sit at the computer each night surfing for
information and searching for video recordings and pictures. The things we find make me
cry a lot but one thing keeps me going. I am not feeling well and I know my time is
running out. My belly is swelling up with water and Jan has taken me to see a Dutch
heart expert in Ommen. His name is Dr. Gerritsen and he is in contact with Dr. Schneider
and Dr. Hildebrandt in Germany. In addition to all the pills I am taking they have now
also prescribed five injections a day. Three are to get rid of the water in my belly and the
other two are supposed to stop me from throwing up. I feel sick much of the day and I
am incredibly thirsty. I spend long stretches in the pond drinking and taking mud baths
which I find very relaxing. The Dr. said that it is a miracle that I am still standing and my
heart now only functions for five percent. It is not a miracle; I have a video to finish. Of
course they do not know that.
My humans are preparing to move again, this time to the Caribbean. I can hear them
pondering over how they will get us there. They do not need to worry about me, because
I am not coming with them. From what I hear we would live in a house right by the sea
and we could jump into the crystal clear sparkling blue water right from our living room.
It sounds fantastic and if things were different I would love to live there and be happy
with them. But they are not different and I find my satisfaction in making my video
together with my best friend Baron. I am proud to have him as my friend.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Yesterday, as I was standing in the pond, I suddenly felt very sick and I had to throw up.
No matter how hard I tried, however, I could not empty my stomach. I could feel my
belly bloat and as I tried to climb out of the pond, all my muscles started to shake and I
could hardly move. It took all my strength to find my way out of the water and to the
front door in search of Bettina. As she saw me, I could see the terror in her eyes. Was
this it? Am I going to die? My stomach was round like a balloon and the pressure inside
was unbearable. Everything turned dark in front of my eyes and I could no longer stand
up. I half heard Bettina on the phone to Jan saying something about my stomach having
rotated and that he needed to come home. She sounded frantic so I assumed this was
not a good thing. It had nothing to with my heart however, so I was relatively calm. I
think I lost consciousness a few times but suddenly Jan was there. Before I knew it, I
was in the back of the mini and we were speeding away.
The next thing I remember, I was standing next to a table in a doctor’s office that I had
not seen before. I do not know what happened but I was feeling much better. There was
a large bucket filled to the brim with water and yellow fluid and a long tube on the floor
next to it. I overheard the Dr. giving Jan instructions on what to do in case this should
happen again overnight whilst he pressed a plastic bag with a similar looking tube as the
one on the floor into Jan’s hand.
On the way home I pondered. I could feel it, the time
is near. What if I did not finish my video? A little
anger against myself cropped up. Why did I not start
this project sooner? I would feel a lot more confident
if the video was done.
Early that evening I was standing in the pond when I
heard Baron behind me. I looked around and saw his
big face look at me whilst he was wiggling his hips in
an effort to sit down.
“How are you feeling Buddy?” he asked with a
concerned voice.
I did not respond straight away. I was not feeling
well. Should I tell Baron?
“Come here Buddy and sit with me.” Baron said.
I moved towards him and climbed out of the pond to
sit next to him. For minutes we both just sat and
looked at the first pretty yellow flowers on the
My favourite place in the pond…
water’s edge telling us it would soon be warmer. A little bird was diligently collecting
hairs that I had lost. She would pick up so many as would fit in her beak and then fly off
into a bush only to return and pick up even more. Her little babies would have a nice soft
nest this spring. The fruit trees beyond the pond were blossoming with flowers in all
shades of pink. It was wonderful just sitting there.
“I am not feeling well Baron.” I said. I looked at him and I saw that he was struggling to
show strength but a little spark in his eye gave away the tear that he was trying so hard
to hide.
“My time has come Baron,” I added, “I know it. The end is near. I need you to make me
a promise.”
“We will finish your video together Buddy, but should anything happen before we do; I
swear I will finish it for you.” Baron responded, obviously knowing what I was going to
ask.
“I love you Baron.” I whispered as tears shot out of my eyes uncontrollably. Baron,
seeing my sadness could no longer resist either and his eyes filled with tears.
“I love you too my friend Buddy.” Baron murmured back. That was it. We were both
sobbing uncontrollably now, sitting next to each other on the edge of my favourite place.
The tears blurred the signs of spring we had been admiring only minutes ago.
“I will wait for you Baron.” I cried.
“I will find you Buddy.” Baron hollered.
We stayed out by the pond till long after the sun had set behind the trees.
That night at dinner I was hungry for the first time since weeks. As I stood there with my
head buried in my bowl, I noticed Boogar next to me. I looked at him. He looked at me,
and then he looked at his bowl, and looked at me again. Without saying a word he
walked into the living room and disappeared from my view. Curiously, I walked over to
Boogar’s bowl and looked inside. It was filled to the rim; Boogar had not touched his
food. The meanest, toughest dog of all, for the first time in his life, gave up his food. For
me.
After dinner we did our usual late night stroll through the garden. It was warm. I took a
good sniff. Spring is coming, it is in the air. I walked by my pond and had a last drink. It
tasted good.
Inside, I cuddled up to Layla on the couch. She licked my face and I licked hers.
Hugging, we fell asleep. Soon Baron would wake me to work on the video.
On Saturday the 26th of April of the year 2008, aged three years, nine months
and eight days, Buddy peacefully died in his sleep on his favourite corner of the
couch. He suffered no pain. Baron, Layla and Boogar were at his side and said
farewell, but it was Boogar that did not leave his side as we prepared to take
his body away. I can see the pond from where I am writing these last words.
There is a vast empty space where he used to stand and look up at me with his
innocent eyes.
Buddy, my friend, no words can describe how much we miss you, nor are they
adequate to express the gratitude we feel for sharing every minute with you.
Until we meet again, farewell our love.
As promised, Baron finished Buddy’s Movie. You can see it on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C20gwnU5_pc
BUDDY FROM FRISIAN SOUTH-EAST 18.07.2004 – 26.04.2008