ew foo er 1s so e bo er

Transcription

Cl
E
L 194-P
I
LEGE OF FLO
STUPID
VOLUME XVI ISSUE 7 ~ TUESDAY, APRIL
•
ew foo
of
er 1s so
by Whitney Krahn
Director of Re idential Life and
Food Service Mike Campbell igned a
conn_-act with Taco Bell Monday night,
makmg the fa t food chain New
College's next food service pro ider.
Though ' Orne ovo Collegians anticipate the coming of spicy enchiladas and
burrito ·, mo t of the school i j u t hot
under the collar.
Campbell says the school went with
Taco Bell because they were the lowest bidd rs. "We ju t couldn't go wrong," he said.
1be lower coste; mean a poor, hungry
tudent can now eat for up to $2.50 Jes: than
with current food-;ervice Sodexho. But not
everyone is going aJong with the new det.
"We did all this work
CSA recount surprise
by Caitlin Young
Robert Schober and Sydney ash
w n la! t fall'
CSA presidential eleci
cc rding to third-) ear
therin
Shari s Shan. . ho ju t c mple ed her
1 P, pent this pa t weekend carefu ly re·
counting the ballot .
nfortunately. Schober h taken thi
me ter off and 1 thus ineligible to hold
a CSA o tee. ash i currently workm,' part-time'' at Panera Bread and ay~
at sh ' [doe n't) hav time for thi . hit.
t th ,''
id "I re''I fi d fulfill
alized that bag
. are >bat I really lov ."
I
other new . current NC A
Pre 1dent Maxeme Tu hman has delar d Ringhng and
F to he a
''no -linear line of e il" and has called
for th ir d~ trut'tion. Wlule ome qu tJon if he houldn 't be thinking about
1 u . clo cr to home, aggr
ave ·ign
conti
'
tu nout o st
by Michael Gimignani
Tf the behavior of ew College tudent i any indication, feeling for
granddaddy of drug magazines High
1ime j t hit an all-time bummer.
Wearing functional bong rna ks, a
group of Novo Collegians picketed along
US 41 on atur ay. Their objective:
prote ting ew College' runner-up tatus in a urvey publi bed in !ac;t October' ·
issue of High Times. Although. to be fair,
most of tho e who protested
med to
have little idea of what was going on.
In an article entitled, ''Top Counterculture College·," hundred of public and
private hool aero s the country were
evaluated by the staff of High Times in
everal area including "Quality of
Education" and "Intelligent Herb U e.''
·ew College placed second in thi
survey, gi ing orne , tudents reason to
I' 2003
e bo er
Toledo, Ohio as an assi tant organizer
for t~e Farm Labor Organizing
Commtttee. Such coalition protest the
low wage Taco Bell pays its tomato
fanners . "Thi is a slap in the face from
our own school,'' he said.
"Hell yeah," said fi rst-year Bry ·on
Voirin wh n he heard the news. " I think
Taco Bell protesters are annoying anyway. They better not stop me from
e njoying a Chalupa a single day next
semester." Voirin has ince put a Taco
Ben sticker on the door to his dorm room
along ·ide the sticker like, "Freedom
Will Be Defended" and "College
RepuhJican Make a Difference."
Taco Bell beat out other bidders inBeef Distributors and
cluding
Outback S ,.,.K·nn'""''"
US41
e
cheer, but other fuel for the furnace.
"We're jut trying to how them how
hard we can party. What I mean is .. ."
one unidentified male prote ter told The
Catacly m before trailing off and taring
into the headlights of an oncoming Ford
truck.
Another sn1dent, first-year transfer
John De ro 1ers, vows to go on a "po
binge" until ew College i given recogniti n as the top marijuana school. "I'll
bring the level up by my ·elf if 1 have to.
1 don' t care what High Tunes doe . ..
yeah. unles they change their mind." he
aid.
Brother Maceo, longtime Hamilton
Center pedd er. could not be reached fi r
comment.
Strangely, New College
say it had nothing to do with th
e return of the motto
ew College, you have ju t been
selected as a newS PER EMIFI .,.ALI T. You may have just won
TEN MILLION DOLLARS!
~
IDA
Remember me underneath the
nameplate of all the original
Cataclysm publications? Well, I'm
here again. So watch out.
StorY
LIBERAL NEWS
The Catacl sm
Threat Level Red: Republicans discovered on campus
NTENTS
U.S. Livestock Report page
105
Fun With Nazi Genetics page 86
The New's; Studebaker page r86
Half Life page 14
7-DAY WEATHER
Today: Water will tum to blood
Wednesday: Lots of Frogs today
Thursday: Festering boil
Friday: Powerful hail storms
Saturday:
othing But Locusts
Sunday: Darkness over all
Monday: Death of the firstborn
~--
lLL ASSIGNMENTS
Friday: Chris Cox
"Certainly ot At All Like PCP"
Saturday:TitusJewell
"The Kinky Fuck Wall"
thl'
CATACLYSM
Copynclll2003 llt Co»dy:vrL All
risl>t> ,_,...,_
GENERAL EDITOR
lOUR MAMA
Michael Gimignani
Sinh Zell
SYDNEY
Whitney Krahn
IUthanHII BuriMnk
Sydney Nash
SENIOR STAFf WJifTERS
Abby Weingarten
MINIONS
MichHI Sandenon
Christopher Defillippi
Maria Lopez
Kmelyn Weissinger
Josh On'
Sarah Stamper
Erin Marie Blasco
The Cataclysm is a lavery ring that ha
nothing to do WJth Professor Maria Vesperi.
If you're lonely, depre sed. or otherwise have
strong negative feelings toward your father,
join us in Ham Center on Sunday nights.
We're like a pyramid scheme, but even le
legal Benefit , travel. The Cataclysm is an
Equal Opportunity EmployeL
Do not direct any submissions or
inquiries to:
The Cataclysm
5700 N. Tamiami Tr. Box #75
by Christopher DeFillippi
Sometimes, at odd hours of the day,
you will ee them. Out of the corner of
your eye, you may glance upon one. It is
usually only a glimp e; a faint impression wafting in and out of one's
con ciou ne like an odor through Bdorm. But occasionally, impre ion ,
like odor , will linger, and you fmd
your elf asking: "who would wear a
Tommy Hilfiger T-shirt at New
College?"
An an wer was found at approximately 10 p.m. March 15, when
second-year Miranda Tedholm descended into a maintenance tunnel to
retrieve a leather-bound copy of
Watership Down that he had inadvertently dropped into an opened trap door.
"At first I thought 'my God, "
Tedholm aid. "The catacomb [are] full
of fashionably dressed Republicans! I ju t
grabbed my book and got the Hell out!"
Although Tedholm's interaction with
the tunnel' denizen was brief, word of
her experience created a stir among the
tudent body. En mas e, student attempted to enter the catacomb to
sub tantiate the claim of a possible subterranean secret society, only to find the
trapdoor en ance t
main n
tunnels padlocked.
"The Republicans under the Pei
Cowts is a rumor," aid second-year
Devon Barrett, typifying the student response. "And besides, if there really was
a secret underground civilization, why
would the ole known entrances to their
society suddenly become inacce sible to
the outside almost immediately after
their people's 'discovery'?"
Disrni ed almo t immediately as
groundles urban legend, the po sibility
of a ubterranean faction of the G.O.P.
faded quickly from the public' imagination. It wa only on March 23, when
everal tudentc; witnes ed a weatervest clad male in his early twentie
emerge half-way from a third-court tunnel that the rumor were ubstantiated.
Justice among the Molemen
"So now you know the terrible ecret," Roderick Johnson II, Holy
Sovereign of the molemen aid to the
Catacly m, from his imperial palace
under first court. "We have identified the
one who has betrayed our cover as
Frederick Gladstone. It was his duty to
venture to the surface world for much
needed supplies; a ta k at which he
failed most egregiou ly."
Johnson paused as he glanced coldly
at hi chagrined underling, fidgeting uncomfortably in the chair next to him.
"I maintain confidence, however, in
that he is not enttrely worthies . I am certain that he will make an excellent dinner.''
A collective gasp erupted from the
thirty or o molemen present for the
announcement.
"He is being demoted to food ervices," Johnson continued. "It pays less."
A second collective gasp e caped the
audience.
The complex interrelation of the
subterTanean worfd and our own
[Abridged]
"Due to the anarchic nature of the
over world, we have been forced to live a
meager, grasping existence over the
decades," said Mini ter of Plenty Orson
Banks. "During the hours where we are
least likely to be detected, we mu t o-
.
.
it is before 10 a.m. on weekends."
The Minister continued after taking a
seat in an Italian-style armchair crafted
from the fabric of discarded hackey-sack
balls.
"Considering the materials that ustain our society are often difficult to
come by, I believe that we have done
well," Banks continued. 'The garments
and half-empty ewing kits that you regularly discard on your 'free table' are
employed to manufacture fairly convincing brand knockoffs. Plus our most
talented cherni ts have devised a proce
through which the liquid waste produced
through narcotic combustion on the surface can be synthe ized into brand-name
quality fragrances here."
Banks then drummed hi fingers
along his faux-mahogany desk.
"Oh yeah, and there's been some talk
of expanding into medical ervices, a
pension program and welfare."
The future of the molemen
"Ba ed on what our couts have observed of the surface world, I do not see
my people openly interacting with it in
the immediate future," Sovereign
John on commented. 'They have returned to me parchments adhe ively
attached to surface domiciles expressing
the populace's overwhelming desire for
non-violent re olution of conflict, government intervention on behalf of the
economically uncompetitive, and unhindered carnal and reproductive liberty.
'This i not our way," he said. "For
the time being, we are in the unfortunate
po ition of being a small enclave of rational, principled thought utterly
surrounded by those who have a visceral, knee-jerk sense that everything we
repre ent is trea onous. I believe we will
interact with your world only to the extent necessary to gather the supplies that
fuel our lifestyles."
Johnson then adjusted his power tie and
looked disconsolated into the distance.
"Eh, forget about it," he continued.
"Your kind wouldn't under tand."
When most of the crowd had dissipated, Johnson addre ed orne of the
Catacly m's questions regarding the nature of their ociety.
r
e
olle e
Campus Police and the Physical Plant,
the mo t damage students have ever
wrought while exploring the tunnels has
been the destruction of padlocks on the
trapdoors that frequently impede student entrance. While Maintenance
Mechanic Robert Marshall of the
Physical Plant stated that there i no real
danger in students exploring the tunnels, either to themselves or to the
equipment within, there are still concerns regarding the exploration of the
underground facilitie .
'That's why [they are] padlocked,"
Officer Wes Walker said to The
Cataclysm. "We haven't pro ecuted
anybody in the past, basically because
we haven't caught anyone. If we had
found someone down there, we would
prosecute." The penalty for tho e
caught doing so is a write-up and arrest
continued on page 135
arasota, FL 34243
[email protected]
(941) 359-4266
The Cataclysm re erves the nght to cut
up submtssions mercilessly, often changing
the content of your story. Anonymou
submi stons WJll be used to line our mce
parakeet Charlie's cage.
You know, we only do thi once a year,
so subm1 ton really don't matter.
Information about upcoming event is
very unwelcome throughout the week.
Visit The Cataclysm online at :
http://www.dustbury.corillarchiMsl000093.html
These sho~, taken at great expense of human life, give definitive proof of mole-Republicans lurking
around .~~·· The underground race .may have ey~!vec! from,a group of ancient surface:~well!ng stuc:tents.
' .
. '
.. . . . -
]
The Catacl sm
fROM THE CENTER OF THE
U NIVE~SE
•
If you have a date in Palm Court, (s}he'll be waiting 1n
•••
wall of Palm Court in a Barcolounger
waving his metal baton like a scepter to
the tune of "Pomp and Circumstance."
approached them some time ago with
the renaming proposal. The donor
stated that the inspiration had come
with the realization that the trees in
Palm Court were in deplorable condition and dying off.
Physical Plant Director Richard
Olney, in charge of the trees of
VickersvilJe, thinks the name change is a
great idea.
"A few years ago there was an alum
who wanted to donate the cost of refurbishing the trees and tile work in Palm
Court. It was very expensive,'' Olney
said. "Of course, the tock market has
taken a steep dive since then and the
alu~ is no longer going to complete the
proJect. We opted to let him out of his
commitment because, while we were
sure we would win in court, just as the
Asolo [Theatre) won when they sued
Burt Reynolds for his endowment, we
felt that the non-materialistic image of
New College would be harmed."
John Martin, Vice-President for
Finance and Administration, was ecstatic over the proposal. "Any way we
can get money to come into the coll~ge from the outside wm alv.:ays be
additional grant money to defray those
costs. He said that the move would
give new meaning to the University
~olice's efforts at 'community polic~ng '.by having Vickers able to respond
m hts "HOTCART" to lock-outs, jump
starts, and late night escorts.
"It's hoped that Mrs. Vickers
would invite students to dinner on a
regular basis chez Vicker ," Campbell
said.
Dean of Students Mark Blaweiss is
even talking about refurbishing one of
the dorm lounges to a club, called
Club Vickers. It would predominantly
be a juice bar with Vickers acting as
MC on his nights off.
Late-night revelers were thrilled
over the news. "Palm Court used to be
known as the place for Friday and
Saturday night partying and the place
where town meetings were held. With
the renaming it will give a further
sense of community to New College
students and the campus just as the
Natural Science Building did when it
was named after General Heiser,"
first-year Bryson Voirin said.
dance shaking their
Kessie, a former deputy chief of an
Indiana police department, told The
Cataclysm, "If anyone in Indiana could
see me now ... I went from Shelbyville
to Vickersville."
Following the tradition of having
buildings and other locations named for
large donations, the Foundation revealed that a mystery donor
also drc>or)ed
ing of convincing Vickers to take
former Student Activities Coordinator
Alena Scandura's apartment in the
fall, "especially since his children are
gone and he has an empty nest."
Campbell said it will take a lot to
convince the Vickers family to move
on campus, but he is hoping to secure
emphatically inquired of The
Cataclysm. Former NCSA President
Andrew Hossack replied petulantly to
Michalson' question, "It's obvious
that you haven't been to any walls
lately, otherwise you would know.''
Vickers could not be reached for
Nathaniel Burbank/Cataclysm
Grammarless signs: According to Physical Plant sign maker Joseph
Glasscock, '~e knew the whole time. We didn't really give a crap."
The coffers of the New College
Foundation were greatly enhanced last
week when an undisc1osed donor opted
for the chance to have Palm Court renamed. For the grand total of $47.61,
the center of the New College universe
will henceforth be known as
"Vickers ville."
Officer Ken Vickers, namesake of
Vickersville, was last seen sitting on the
New College
continued on ,._. 128
'Party of the century' thrown by renegade Ringling students
by Sarah Stamper
When spring break arrived and with
that the mass exodus of Novo Collegians
venturing on road trips or journeying
home to Mom and Dad, the campus was
left vulnerable for siege. At midnight on
March 22, the normal Saturday night
New College wall was invaded and
overtaken by Ringling students.
The surviving Novo Collegians have
made it clear that the art school's treacherous acts will not soon be forgotten.
The wall was assigned to Mary
Whelan and Daina Crafa, but the
Machiavellian Ringling students had
other plans. They made their attack by
surrounding Palm Court and then moving in towards the wall equipment.
Senior-class Ringling conspirator
Justin Hansen said, "We went there and
their shit looked lame. We decided that
it was time to take control."
The theme that Ringling offered for
their wall was "Naked Porn Star." New
College students just didn't feel this
scene and it didn't help that wall-jacker
and Ringling senior Adam Carlson said,
"I am pissed off that there are still people with their clothes on. This is
bull shit." It seems like he just doesn't
get the fact that almost all walls at New
College end with half-naked students.
Ringling senior Andy Smenos agreed
and said, "People aren't dressing up, we
should punch them in their face. What
can I say, I am [at New College] way too
much." We couldn't agree more.
Tom Carlson, a co-conspirator and
Ringling junior said, "In making our
plans we considered the New College
students. I mean, we didn't come in with
R&B and beer funnels."
Crafa said, "An enonnous computer
design major pushed me out from behind charge admission to Palm Court. Gallo
the equipment. When he shoved me he summed up her experience, saying,
stepped on my toe and so I spent the rest "Never ay never I gue s," and laughing.
of the night in the bathroom crying!''
On the lack of success of the
Whalen attempted to fight the attack- Ringling wall, New College thesis-stuers off with help from other New dent Arianna Bailey said, "What can
College students, but failed in the end. It you expect? They are the most normal
seemed like a New College tradition art school kids in the whole country."
New College second-year Ben Lewis
was about to be shattered.
Another Ringling junior, Brad said, "The Ringling students had nothSmith, was surprised to see his friends in ing unique or original to offer in any
charge after he had arrived fashionably way, shape or form. Well, except for the
late. ''I didn't think Ringling students one thing that New College is everely
would ever put that much effort into lacking: available straight men.'' But
something. I can't imagine that it was when they come wearing only an elephant thong, who wants them?
too successful," he said.
After their disastrous attempt it
The New College students defiantly
agreed that the Ringling wall was far seems that Ringling students just don't
from succes ful. Third-year student Kate have what it takes to throw a wall.
Gallo said, "I don't feel like listening to 'They can just take their squeaky noses
funk soul brothers all night." She was not
at all surprised that Ringling tried to. •. ........,..........,.......,..._........,....,.......................,......,........~
FROM THE ARCHIVES, LITERALLY
The Catacl
2003
ites ach·eve nirvana next to funky shag carpet
by Maria Lopez
While cleaning up the drainage
ditches during spring break, Physical
Plant came across a bulbous object protruding out of the marsh. Upon closer
inspection it was determined that the
shiny metallic sphere pointing out of the
mud was in fact a time capsule.
The crew spent a few hours trying to
pry the container open. Etched on the
side of the capsule was "1969."
New College alum Samuel Sapp
('67) recalls how he and others gathered
together to create the time capsule. "I
was there in 1969. I left my LP of the
soundtrack of the Beatles' movie A Hard
Days Night in there. I al o left my handout for the day I taught Dr. Knox's
Faulkner class. There were some boring
notes on programming from Cobol or
Fortran that I never used. I think I left
my tooth in there. Did anyone find it?"
Indeed, upon close inspection a small
tooth was located with the initials S.S.
carved into the crown.
Surprisingly, most of the contents of
the capsule were found to be in excellent
condition. A thesis was recovered that
was titled, "What I Did Over My
Summer Vacation."
New College Alurnnae/i Association
Executive Director David Bryant
helped officials uncover the contents of
the time capsule. Bryant shared his fmdings with students and faculty: ''We
found several tabs of acid that were
eaten by mites. We also found the
corpses of the mites and, not surprisingly, we found that they reached a
higher state of consciousness ... higher
than most mites achieve in their relatively short life spans."
In addition to the toxic mites, Bryant
also found toenail clippings indicating
that New College students in the 1960's
lacked a huge amount of calcium in
their diets.
In addition the capsule also contained a copy of War and Peace,
recyclable condoms made from goat
skin, a record player, partially burnt
bras, a tambourine, lots of evaluations
(some more favorable than others), a
picture of Uncle Sam, and a sign that
say 'Save the Raccoons!' Apparently
raccoons were endangered at the time,
but clearly they have survived whatever
hardships they previously faced.
Pictures of a New College bar were
also found in the time capsule.
Apparently students used to have to
walk no further than the mailroom to
drink away their troubles. New College
alum Cynthia Ekle ('01) says that she
often heard rumors that a bar used to
exist. "I heard that New College students would sell all kinds of liquor
there, but usually beer. I am not quite
sure how exactly it was funded, but the
place would be packed every night."
New College students have been
continped em page 102
f
?'
SUBS
PIZZA
_______ ,..:z:s_ _ _
shocked by what the time capsule has revealed. Third-year Tracey Banes said
''We should totally bring back the Ne~
College Pub. It should have a cool name,
too-like Dante's Inferno."
In the very bottom of the time capsule was a crumpled-up and waterstained picture showing that New College actually had major parties in the
lounges instead of Palm Court.
The picture of the lounge shows that
they once had orange shag carpeting
and metallic disco balls that spun
around the center of the room. Mter extended partying, the lounges had to be
shut down for renovation.
A piece of that funky shag carpet remains in the capsule. Objects found in
the carpet include gum, beer tabs, pencils, paper clips, lots of dirt, honey, and
several unidentified substances.
New College officials have decided
Reg.
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Manicottt••.._.$7.50 w/meot .sauce ..... _..._ 8.50
Tortellint--.... .$7.50 w/meat .sauce--···-· &.50
Baked Ziti .-.S6.50w/meatsouce ______ ,..._, 7.50
Lasagna ••••• $6.95 w/mem sauce ....... _._,.... 7.95
Ravioli .......... $7.50 w/meat~ ................. 8.50
-All Pastas Camtt WHh 0 IINodstldc-
Chicken FI"'heeSeoverSpoghetti ••·•-•n• $10.95
SmoB Scrlads with dbtn.r ····--··- r.75
Tira.··················-·······-·-·-··········..,-·······
3.25
······-···························--···-········· 3..50
.Alfredo·-··..···-.. . . . . . .
lANnon WM. Wine
eun..- Souc>e
Chkkeft Cacciatore over Spaghetti.-.. ••• $10.95
t.d s-, GNef'l l'ltppen. BloooW;. Olives
Reel or White Clams OYJ!W Fettudni ....... _ .. $9.75
Reel orWhlteColamarl overhttvcJnf.-•• $9.75
Shrimp Scampi over Fettudnl ................. $11.95
w- Gariic ~ ._,.
Frutta dl Mare ••••••••••••••••-·u·····--. ...... _ $13.95
Combinotion ol ca1omari,. shrimp, baby dmn$ in rwl or white SCM»
-AM Sfl• ~liatlew come wllh w
«w~ Garfk . . . - -
DESSERTS
:::.r~ Cheese Cake ........................:·....... 3.25
Cclrii'IOII ce ···-····-·············-~~·..... ··········-..······· 1.25-
ew College students receive 20% discount with ID card
no, really. this is legit
A STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF NEW COLLEGE OF FLOR DA
ATALYST
VoLUME XVI IssuE 7; TUESDAY, APRIL
I, 2003
New College preparing or wartime threa s
by Katelyn Weissinger
With the onset of war, New College bas begun planning for pos. ible ~mergencies. The New College Police
Department JS staymg more alert since the national threat
level was raised to orange. Student Affairs is looking over
the campus Crisis Management Plan, while thinking up
fun 'diversions' for students, and the Counseling and
Wellness Center is receiving more stressed-out students
than usual.
. Despite all of this, there has been no increase in secunty measures at New College.
"I don'.t t?,ffik ~e're in any more danger than the general pubhc, satd Vice President for Finance and
Administration John Martin. 'There are a bil1ion targets
that would be more interesting to a terrorist than New
College."
For n?w, there are no plans for extra police officers.
No .urv~illance equipment being installed. No smallpox
vaccmation at Parkvtew.
In the event of a war-related emergency, the Campus
Emergency Operation Staff (CEOS), which includes
New College President Gordon Michalson,
take
The Security Chain of Command
According to New College Police Chief Gene
~'Casio, Ne~ College is part of one of seven regions divided and dtrected by the state. If domestic security
issues affecting New College came up, the state government would contact the Campus Police and Public
Affair Director Steve Schroer via e-mail. Schroer
would then e-mail the CEOS and other faculty members
about the. situation. In recent days, the state government
has. e-mailed New College regarding the increase in the
nattonal threat level and subsequent security measures
taken by the government.
If something more drastic happened, if New College
?r ne.arby Sarasot~radenton International Airport was
identified. as a military target, the Crisis Management
Plan outlines standard procedures. Resident Advisors
and the Campus Police would notify students by going
door to door and making announcements over megapho.nes. If additional assistance is needed, the Campus
Pollee can also communicate with other law enforcement
the
Visiting Eckerd chef brought new ideas, casserette recipes
by Cai~ Young
There was a new spatula in town
last month. Eckerd College's
Executive Chef Richard Ellman
visited New College, offering "culinary support" to the Sodexho staff.
This is not Ellman's first visit.
He has helped out with Orientation
planning for four years. He says
he's familiar with the needs of New
Col1ege, but also able to bring in a
little outside perspective.
"We give each other a lot of support," Ellman said, referring to
Sodexho's common practice of sending their chefs to visit other campuses.
''It's good to see other operations."
Ellman's dining hall at Eckerd, a
college in St. Petersburg, is much
larger than the one here, and is arranged much differently. Meals
there are all-you-can-eat, one flat fee
per visit. This makes for a different
type of ystem, but Ellman didn't
Visiting chef Richard Ellman came to
think either method was necessarily
Sodexho last month to give a helping hand to
superior. ''It's neat, a different operathe staff. New College can only hope his
tion (at New College]" he said.
arsenal of 111 new casserette recipes prove
But Ellman was not brought in to
themselves among st.udents.
' '
..
'
. ..
. . . ...
look at those sorts of structural differences. He's here for the food. His
primary project has been the Cast
Iron Zone, the new stir-fry counter.
It isn't a new concept for Sodexho,
and he says that it goes in and out of
style every couple years.
''Everything cycles around,"
Sodexho Manager Jerry Dixon said.
"It used to be called 'Display
Cooking' or 'Pasta Pronto,"'
Ellman said. "There's been lots of
concepts over the years. But everyone Likes watching their food get
cooked right in front of them."
Some changes to the stir fry bar
that Ellman oversaw included
adding other types of starch, such as
pasta, on a permanent basis. There
have been other menu item additions, as well as the permanent
residence of new spices. Vegetable
broth is available if a student would
prefer their food steamed rather than
sauteed in oil. Ellman also wanted
to assess the wrap/sandwich bar and
see what changes he could make.
Beyond that he also wanted to
look at the overalJ menu cycle as
well as add new self-serve items,
having already added Ill new
casserette recipes to the li t.
"I'm looking at the full range of
foods, not just vegan," he said.
While he was here, Ellman
worked behind the counters at every
bar. He wanted to communicate with
students about what they wanted,
what they liked. and what they didn't
like. He also wanted to encourage
everyone to try something new. "At
least try it. You can pit it out, fme,
but just taste it," he said.
What most impresses Ellman
about New College is the amount of
fresh vegetables used in preparation. Ellman, who has much
experience in purchasing, looked
over those methods as well, to see if
anything could be improved.
As for improvement, Ellman's visit
came at a time when Sodexho might
want to polish up its proflle. Next year
will be a bid year for the college.
''The timing is purely coincidental," Dixon aid.
NEWS
st
CAA in the process of "regrouping;" will allocate money
CONTENTS
Entertainment page 5
-Mike's Movie Pick page 6
-Movie Times page 6
-Half-Life page II
7-DAY WEATHER
---~----
Today: Sunny, 70/SI
Wednesday: Mostly Sunny, 72/6o
Thursday: Mosdy Sunny, 79/6o
Friday: Mosdy Sunny, 8I/6o
Saturday: Mosdy Sunny, 82/64
Sunday: Partly Cloudy, 82/67
Monday: Partly Cloudy, 8I/68
aLL ASSIGNMENTS
Friday: Ben Wright&. Haber
Saturday: (Unknown)
the
CATALYST
C"P)Tigh' :zom, TM C<>ruJy:;r AU
rip r=n-ed.
GENERAL EDITOR Michael Gimignani
MWMIMG mnoR Slnb
WI
,_____
c.-."Nl!ltluJniel Burlnlnk
Sydney Nash
SENIOfl STAFF WRm:RS Abby Weingarten
ONUN£ EDITOR
STAFF WRITERS
2003
Michael SandeiSOfl
Christopher Defilfippi
Maria Lopez
Katelyn Weissinget"
Josh Orr
Sarah Stamper
Erin Marie Blasco
The Catalyst is an academic tutorial
sponsored by Professor Maria Vesperi. It
is developed in the New College
Publications Office using Adobe
Photoshop and QuaTk X press for
PowerMacintosh and printed at the
Bradenton I Ierald with money provided
by the New College Student Alliance.
Direct submissions and inquiries to:
The Catalyst
5700 ' . Tamiami 1r. Box #75
Sarasota, FL 34243
[email protected]
(941) 359-4266
The Catalyst reserves the right to
edit submissions for space, grammar or
style.No anonymous submissions will be
accepted. See contribution guidelines
for further information.
All submtssions must be received by
5:00 p.m. Saturday in order to appear in
the following week's is uc.
Information about upcoming events
is welcome throughout the week.
Hossack increased the CAA's budget to
over $3,000, though the council still didn't have guidelines for allocating funds.
When second-years Lara Drizd and
The CAA exists specifically as a liaiCandace Fallon went to the Council of
son between students and faculty.
Academic Affairs in search of funding
Problems or suggested improvements
for their Independent Study Project last
are relayed from students through the
November, they didn't know it would
CAA to the faculty, or vice versa. The
take nearly five weeks after they finis~ed
membership includes the vice-president
in January for the money to amve.
for academic affairs and repre entatives
Meanwhile, Fallon charged hundreds of
from 14 academic areas of interest, indollars on a credit card, costing her even
cluding a Gender Studies representative
more money in the long run.
and a library representative. The
After some recent house cleaning
Constitution requires the CAA to meet
and reorganization, the CAA should be
once a month.
ready to promptly allocate m?n~y by ~e
"Meetings are always open so people
beginning of Module II. This ts due m
can come and talk about academic ispart to the efforts New College Student
sues," Nicoleau said. "We have people
Alliance President Maxeme Tuchman,
who are in constant contact with areas of
who is serious about a well-run student
academic interest." Outside of meetings,
government.
CAA representatives are available to
"Max [Tuchman] has really been on
take student opinions on their specific
top of me and [NCSA Vice-President !or
Candace Fallon/New College
area at any time.
Student Affairs and Catalyst Managmg This photo is a sample of the
The vice-president meets regularly
Editor] Sarah Zell to know what our jobs work completed by second·
with Provost Charlene Callahan and repare," said new Vice-President for
resents the opinion of the NCSA Cabinet
In years Candace Fallon and Lara
Academic Affairs Audrey Nicoleau.
Drizd as part of their ISP. It
at CAA meetings, though she does not
tum, Nicoleau is detennined to establish took over two months to
vote. The council is the only part of the
job descriptions for CAA representa- receive money from the
NCSA that has a direct relationship with
tives. "There has been a big ambiguity Council of Academic Affairs.
the Provost. Nicoleau said Callahan was
as to what the representatives' purpose L----------------~ "really excited about getting to know the
is," Nicoleau said. Prior to her appoint.
·
·
· · ns
roblems made allocating money diffi- members [of the CAA]."
Now that the council has a larger
cult in the past, though former
were nonexistent.
budget
and will allocate money reguVice-President
of
Academic
Affairs
Before the CAA began its reorganization, it replaced five of 14 members India Harville declined to comment on larly, Nicoleau anticipates holding
with people who had more time and in- the state of the CAA under her leader- meetings twice a month-~me for open
terest in participating in the NCSA. "A ship, which included the time period of discussion of academic issues and the
lot of the kids are really excited about Drizd and Fallon's funding request.
other for allocating purposes. The details
[the CAA]," Thchman said after visiting
While the reconfigured CAA is opti- will be decided in one last meeting bethe council's meeting last week.
mistic about its new allocating fore spring break.
Putting enthusiastic students into responsibilities, members say it is more
The CAA will have request fonns
representative positions is important, than just a funding resource. Student similar to those of the Student
Nicoleau said, because "there isn't really Government Business Coordinator Allocations Committee, though they
a lot of incentive behind the positions ... Barbara Berggren said allocating money may require sponsor signatures. "We are
there has to be a lot of drive." CAA rep- is a "very very new part of the CAA." In trying to make it for legitimate projects,"
resentatives are not paid, nor do they the past, the CAA had a budget of just said Nicoleau. Groups of three or more
receive much attention.
$1,000, which it allocated money from students can receive up to $500; individDrive was, evidently, the missing only once a year. It was just supposed to uals are limited to $250.
force from the CAA in the past, as the dispense money as a supplement to
CAA meeting times will be posted in
council frequently didn't have enough alumni and Foundation grants, Nicoleau the activities calendar in the front of
representatives present at meetings to said. During his time as NCSA Hamilton Center and in the weekly
establish a quorum of eight votes. Such President,
thesis-student Andrew NCSA e-mail updates.
by Whitney Krahn
Announcements
Seniors: You've Got Mail! you do not receive your
For all potential Spring packet. Please return all maFrom the President's Office:
your time, and may be com- 2003 graduates (happy early terials using the envelope'
pleted either on paper or congratulations!), a general provided, and don't forget to
Keep New College on Top! on-line.
Baccalaureate mailing will make a copy of the Audit to
If you are a 1st or 4th
Your responses about be in your mailbox this give your thesis sponsor and
year student, your opinion your own NCF experience week. Included in this "Bacc
Baccalaureate committee
counts! If you have not re- will determine how New Pack,"
will
be
the members. Thanks again and
sponded to The College College rates nationally in Baccalaureate Student Survey
Student Report 2003 that tenns of five benchmarks of and the Baccalaureate Student best wishes!
was recently mailed to your student engagement. In sur- Audit Fonn, with an explanaNCF box, please do so today. veys past, New College has tory letter. Please contact Maintenance bas requested
The National Survey of been a top- coring leader in- Jacqueline Bethune in the that students be reminded
Student Engagement (NSSE) stitution. Your input will help Presid~nt's Office at 2-4421
not to ride bicycles in
,
~ 11 t<;tfces about ten qinNe~ of keep New1College at the top!
....;;,;,;,;;:;;,;,;~;;;.;;.;;,;,;,;;.;..;.;;;,;;;;;;...,......-...;..,;;;,;~......,. . •
•
j ~
J• •
...... • •
I
or email: ~~un!-SW~~eduAf. _.Hamilton Center•
........ _................. ____ ..................... _ ...... __ ·····-····-·-.-· .......... .
I
.I
EWS
The Catalyst
•
•
oise reg I t ons d ow ngou
by Erin Blasco
Some Sarasotans complain that
there i n't enough cheap, loud entertainment in town. Sara ota 's noi e
regulati~n> an<~ a city layout placing
condommJUm m ear hot of most live
mu, ic, make it tough for m, ny a ,ts to
perform in the city.
On March 3, the city of Sara ota
pa~sed an ordinance expandmg the location where sound regulation, take
effect. Many more re idential areas, as
well a St. Armand' Circle and other
area where live mu ic is played in
restaurant , fall under the new juri dictiOn. The arne ordinance, however.
a11ow for more e ception to the rule
because of the expanded area-permit
to exceed the regulation are available
for some planned events, for instance.
The rule ay that noi e cannot exceed 65 decibel · when mea ured at the
~roperty line from where the noi. e origmate . The e "quiet hours" are in effect
betwe~n 10:00 p.m. and 7:00a.m. every
day. Stxty-five decibels is about equal
to the noise made by normal conversation.
ccording
of where the sound i coming fromrather than from the location of those
cl~nling to be di turbed-is also pretty
umque.
The city, however, only ha about
five instruments for measuring ound
level . Therefore, there i a ... general
·~noise disturbance" rule that allows pohce. officers who don't have measuring
devt~e to judge noi
violation by ear.
In thts case, they mu t fir t <rive the establishment or re. idence from which
the noi e originate a verbal warning.
Then they can receive a citation, which,
not counting court co t • can re ult in a
fine about equal to the price of a parking ticket.
till, some Sara ota e tabli hment
have closed due to noi e problems.
Mo t club owner contacted by The
Catalyst did not want to be quoted for
fear_ that one of tho e five measuring
devtces could end up at their property
line. All stre sed. howe er. that law en
forcement has been ery understanding
and that, by keeping their doors hut,
the club have avotded trouble,
But trouble has lead to change.
Barbara Strauss, owner and events promoter of the Sarasota Blue Festival,
·.
I
.
.
lence her annual fe. tival and ended up
changing arasota ·., consti tution.
In 2001, an under-defined law allowed any c mplaint about a noise
ugge tions wa to u e eparate mea- source to result in a citation. Strau s
urement for ba s-weighted noise and said the police didn't want to enforce
the rule but had t
they, too, were entreble-weighted noise, becau e ba
joying the mu ic.
tend· to carry further. In Sarasota, ba
"You cannot give omebody a ticket
cannot exceed 70 decibel out ide of a
if there are no parameters,'' Strauss
building during "quiet hour . '
Measuring bas and treble differ- said. "You have to say what it is they
ently set. Sarasota apart from most did to cau e a di turbance-like a deciother Florida citie . The practice of bel limit or time limit.''
Strau
aid that she did not et out
mea uring sound from the property line
USIC
~~~~~~~~~
The bustlfnc tolrlst .,... of St. .Arnund's Circle Is buiH so cf.,.. to
local residential zoning that ntMIY restaurants are forced to play live
m ic indoors. Althou&h regulation of the noise laws was just tighte ned, some residents are winning challenges.
to become a spoke person for noise di turbance · m Sara ota, but that he got a
lot of encouragement from mu ician
and other music lovers who thought th
laws needed to change.
A Sara ota native, Strau think
people who can't afford ticket at the
Van Wezel hould be able to enjoy good
mu ic for low pnces. 'The noise regu-
lations wer making it impos ibJe to
hear mu ic for any place besides in a
performing art ha11. and then it become unaffordable for the average
person,'' . he said. "So I'm like, 'Power
to the people!"'
"So we went to court," Strauss aid.
''It wa · a pain in the butt ... but it wa a
huge victory.'
If your words are magic,
If they sometimes stumble
www. ncf.edu/CareerServices
FREE res me/CV writing consultation •
Career planning. Job search trategies. Jobs. Internship~
Mock interviews. Study abroad. raduate chools.
Fellowship • Scholar hip . Volunteer programs.
Sum mer activities. Calendar of events.
Palmer Building E, 359-4261
onday-Friday, 8-5
over each other trying to get out
of the door.
If they are hiding under the bed,
If they don't like each other
If they make you smile,
If they don't knOW the dance you're
trying to teach them
If you don't knOW how to ctte the~
If you don't know how to excite t~m.
If you love them and leave them,
. .. lf any or all of the above applies
Come to the
R
111e Wrttlng Resource Center iS upsta~ in the library.
359-4606- ~n Mon-ihurs 3,...gpcn,Sun 3-:-8pm •
The Cata
N EW S
t
ew Co lege ca pus PrePares for war
New College i located aero ·s the
street from an international airpm and
about seventy miles from MacDill Air
Force Ba e in Tampa. Although the
Sara ota airport is relatively mall compared to airport in larger citie like
Miami, it i till taking precaution a a
re ult of the increased national threat
level. Director of Operations and
Maintenance for Sara ota-Manatee
Airport Authority Bob Mattingly commented that the airport has added patrols
and increased surveillance since the
country upgraded to threat level orange.
However, Mattingly could not be
much more specific for security reasons,
stating that ''the airport has different
plans to deal with various situations like
threat ."
hurricanes
and
bomb
According to Martin, ew College is
only in the flight patterns for take off of
orne of the smaller plane leaving
Sara "Otal Bradenton International.
MacDill. on the other hand, i a ri k because of its large role in the war with Iraq.
The 6th Air Mobility Wrng, which consi ts
of 3.CXX> people that refuel American military aircraft all over the world, is tationed
at MacDill MacDill is one of only twelve
uch Air Mobility Bases in the country. The
de truction of the base could be a crippling
blow to the thousands of military aircraft
engaged in the ho tilities.
Despite these factors, many taff
members feel New CoUege is relatively
safe. "We could always be a target of opportunity, but we don't foresee it being a
major problem," O'Casio aid.
"I don't think it makes that much of
a difference ... Fortunately, yes we're
near an airport, but we're not one of the
high proflle targets like Disney World,
or a national landmark like the
Wa hington Monument," said Martin.
New College's Emergency Plans
The Cri ·is Management Plan for
New College outline what to do in the
event of a natural di a ter, bomb threat,
fire, plane era "h, chemical contamination, and other emergencie . However,
there i no exact plan to cope with New
College becoming a military or terrori t
target. Several admini trators, including
Dean of Students Mark Blaweiss and
Martin, said that New College would
take many of the same precautions during a terrorist attack as it would if there
were a hurricane.
Depending on the immediacy of the
threat, students might be notified by email, their RAs, or the campus police. If
there were a need to evacuate, students
would gather in Hamilton Center and
Sudakoff Conference Center, which are
designated shelters. 'There are very few
things that could happen that would
Petersburg
Distance from campus: 45 miles
O»tiCelrt::
4.4Friday
Concert: .Midnight Rose
~ere: Classic Wax Bar (2199 Siesta
Drive, acro~s from Saks Fifth Avenue)
~en: April 4, 9:00p.m. - 1:00 a.m.
Information: 364.8653
Crawfish Festival
Live Cajun, Zydeco and blues music
and lots offood. (A hell of a lot
of crawfish flown in from Louisiana for
the event.)
Where: Cajun Cafe on the Bayou
(81 01 Park Blvd. Pinellas Park)
When: Apri14-6
Information: 727.546.6732
$8- 10
Comedy: Jimmy "J..J." Walker
Drive, acro~s from Saks Fifth Avenue)
~en: April 5, 9:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m.
Concert: Rachel Cross and Kim
Buchanan
Acoustic folk with Hebrew. French,
Arabian influences
'
When: April 5
$8
Location: Fogartyville Cafe (800 W.
17th Ave. Bradenton)
4.6 Sunday
Concert: Giving Hunger the Blues
Blo_ck party benefiting Sarasota sAll
Fazths Food Bank and the Child
Protection Center.
Played Kid Dy-no-mite on Good Tunes
When: April 4 -6
·
$8- 12
Where: McCurdy's Comedy Theater
(3333 N. Tamiami Trail Sarasota)
Information: 925.FtJNY
Distance from campus: 1.25 miles
Infonnation: 366.5555
Distance from campus: 5.5 miles
Concert: Tampa Bay Blues Festival
Featuring Jimmie Vaughan, Delbert
McClmton, Dickey Betts and Keb '
Acoustic O~n Mic Night
AA >
1 ~10.
'
When: April 4 - 6
$20 - 25 daily
Pass good for all three days $50
Where: Vmoy Watetfront Park, St.
~e~e: the Five O'Clock Club (1930
Hillview ~treet, Sarasota)
~en: April 6, noon - 8:00 p.m.
Drive, acro~s from Sax Fifth Avenue)
~n: AprilS, 7:00p.m.- 11:00 p.m.
make us have to go to a plan that i different than that. It .;"o~ld almo .t have
to be Armageddon, satd Blawe1 , regarding at what stage New College
would evacuate the campu entirely "If
that were the ca e, [Student Affairs]
would probably try to work individually
with each tudent and try and get them
where they need to be.··
In addition to the e contingency
plans, Student Affairs and the Career
Center are keeping a clo er watch over
students who are traveling. Blawei s emailed the tudent list erv over pring
break asking students who changed
their travel plans to contact Student
Affair . Blawe1s wanted to be prepared
if parents called New College looking
for students. The Career Center is also
keeping in close contact with New
College students who are studying
abroad. Faculty members are also considering future travel plans. "If someone
wanted to spend a semester abroadthat's something we'd really have to
talk about,'' said Provost Charlene
Callahan.
Concert: Zrazy
Two young Irish women doing Celtic
. I think that's called
"world beat. ")
When: April 9
$10
Location: Fogartyville Cafe (800 W.
17th Ave. Bradenton)
Information: 741.9755,
~:zrazy.com/index.phf
C~na:rt: Sleater-Kinney/Pearl Jam
Rwt gtrls that still want to be your
Joey Ramone opening for those
grunge guys with the flannel.
When: April 13
$35
Where: St. Pete Tunes Forum (401
C~elside Dr., Tampa)
Art: Asia--An Exhibition of
Important 19th Century Photographs
Wlien: through September 5, 11:00
a.m.- 5:00pm
$5
. .
Whe~: Museum of Asian Art (640 S.
Washington Blvd., Sarasota)
Jntonnation: 954.7117
Dtstance from campus: 5 miles
Bay Area Renaissance Festival
When:
$14.95through April13 ' 10·00
. am
. .- 6·00
. p.m.
Where: 4rgo Central Park (400 Central
Park Dr., Largo)
Intormation:800.779.4910
Dtstance from campus: 51 miles
The Catalyst
by Michael Gimignani
--
Eight years after its initial cinematic release, The
Lion King (1994) remains the very best animated feature of all time.
Other 'cartoon ,' whether Disney-made or otherwise, have been funnier or more technologically
advanced, or both. But no animation has the triking viual weep, the near-perfect script, or the emotional
power of The Lion King, which was JU t re-released
into a handful of IMAX and 'large-fonnat' theatres
aero s the country.
In Lion King's Africa (or a Disney version thereof),
Simba (the voice of Jonathan Taylor Thomas as a child,
Matthew Broderick as an adult) i the son of boomy,
beloved King Mufasa (James Earl Jones). The precocious Simba discovers growing up i tough on a lion
prince. He mu t con tantl heed the w rd of his rna· estic father and nagging tutor-bird Zazu (Rowan
A · on). He needs to wise up to hi deceptive Uncle
Scar (Jeremy Irons), who is plotting Mufasa' downfall
with three nasty, giggly hyenas (Whoopi Goldberg.
Cheecb Marin and Jim Cummings).
Most important, perhap , he need to work on that
growl, or risk the furure ridicule of zebras and cutter
ants alike. The going is about to get crueler, and
Simba-who will suffer an anguished exile from hi
home -- needs all the life lessons he can get.
hake pearean in tone, epic in scope, it seems more
appropriate for grown-ups than for kids. Not only more
matwe in its themes, it is al o the darkest and the most
intense-one would wonder why they didn't just go
ahead and make a cartoon version of Hamlet. If truth be
told, even for adults it is downright strange.
Even when the considerable dramatic action veers
to encompass the inevitable pop-song ide trips -music by Elton John, lyrics by Tim Rice-that seem
sli tl do
or awkwardl
The Lion Kin
keeps its rhythm, its sense of goofy fun and its almost
epic boldness rolling along. For only 87 minutes on
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screen, it feels like a much larger movie than it is.
Beyond the beautiful art of thl ftlm, which rolls out
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that glow with magical illuminations of sun and star ,
characters are everything. And they really nailed lhe
voice talents, as this is the first Di ney movie to feature
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By any standard you can apply to animated feature
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Lion King is a beautiful, nappy piece of work that excites the imagination. It regularly splashes you with
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Lion King IMAX i · now playing at Chann.elsi.de
tJ
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GaJ!gs of New York (R)
12:00 3:30
Head of State (PG-13)
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Old School (R)
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P!glet's Bi_g Movie (G)
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Spirited Away (PG)
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Tears of the Sun (R)
12:45 4:20 7:20 0:05
The Core (PG-13)
12:00 1:00 3:30 4:05 6:50 7:15
9:50 10:15
The Hours (PG-13)
2:35 4:10 7:00 9:50
The Hunted (R)
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e Quiet American (R)
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View from the TQP (PG-13)
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Burns Court c· ema
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City of God (R)
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Final De tination 2 (R)
2:20 4:30 7:10 9:35
Frida (R)
1:55 7:00
Maid in Manhattan (PG-13)
1:50 7:00
The Life of David Gale (R)
4:15 9:20
e Lord of the Rings: The
Two owers (PG-13)
2:30 7:30
The Wild Thornbenys Movie
Mo ie Times are valid
thro gh Thursday.
J
The
c.t., t
CATALYsT
perspective
Aprill,
2oo3
Is it ''hateful'' to make military recruiters feel ''not welcome?''
Michael Sanderson
OPINION
On Thursday, March 21. the day before
spring break, Dean of Student Mark
Blaweiss publicly threatened tudents with
'judicial procedure " just a the United
States began bombing Iraq in our " hock
and awe" campaign. The next day I received the following from Dean Blawei :
"Mike:
"I am not trying to be area tic - I
would appreciate your thoughts about this
going out on the rodent li t erv.
"Yesterday, the University of South
florida Sarasota/Manatee held a Career
Fair in the Suda.koff Conference Center. As
part of therr event they invited the United
States Army to come, set-up their climbing
wall, and allow intere ted students to hear
about career opportunities in the Army.
"As they were setting up their wall near
Pei (first cowt) a few NCF students began
yelling epitaphs at them and some spat at
them as well. The invited guests decided
tbe-y wae not welcon:le and left tbe campus.
"I know, like me, you fmd these action to be disgu ting, hateful, and
embarrassing to New College and USF. If
you indeed share the e concerns please
feel free to share with me any information
you might have about the identity of our
tudents who participated in these events."
If the military situation wasn't so serious I would have laughed: Dean Blaweiss
asked me to use the e-mail li t for a purpo e I had ranted against, and specifically
he a ked me to intrusively bother everyone in order to hame some New College
tudents for acting out.
He might have correctly anticipated
my reaction, though. The pointles bashing
of the military, more than anything else,
led me to want off anarchy@ ncf.edu. Furthennore, I lived with Army reservist and
New College tudent Aidan Delgado one
ummer, and the last time the Army et up
it climbing wall, I climbed to the top without connecting my surprising achievement
to the bombing of defenseless civilians.
Except on that Thursday, however,
when "career opportunities" in the military
vividly included the bombing of Baghdad.
The bombardier in the B-52 had a choice
to be there, but the Iraqi children in the
Baghdad marketplace had no such choice.
The moral respon ibility for the collateral damage of combat is difficult terrain,
and the rea ons for the current war likewi e difficult to simplify. I believe that as
we di cuss this, the American military is
ordering our troop to kill innocent people
through immoral means, for ends that are
su picious and political.
In that context, how do we react to the
presence of military recruiter , and their
promotion of military "careers" and the invitation for our fellow students to join the
system our political leaders are abu ing? I
myself would have walked around, but I
respect those tudents who, when confronted with the scene, acted on the moral
implications allegedly cursed and spit.
'The invited guests decided they were
not welcome and left the campus." In context, that does not strike me as
"di gusting, hateful, and embarrassing."
They had every right to be there, but they
were not welcome at that moment. It's
worth noting they were invited by USF as
part of a very different interaction with the
campus then we have; they set up outside
students' homes at a moment when passions were most inflamed.
I would hope Dean Blaweiss would
have more respect for students' clearly-
emotional behavior when based on moral
sentiments. The issue was blown out of
proportion by unfortunate timing, due to
events beyond the control of any of us.
Yet this encounter is part of a
wide pread reaction to the American military campaign. One other powerful news
item, from the Saturday, March 29
Washington Post, informs my thinking:
'The United States has said it is investigating whether its forces caused the
market blast Friday m a mainly Shiite
neighborhood of Baghdad. But many
Arabs said the bloodshed was clearly the
fault of the United States.
'The outrage was a1 o felt in Syria,
which suffered war casualties when a U.S.
missile accidentally hit a bus load of civilians Monday in Iraq about 100 miles from
the Syrian border.
'"I was watching what was happening
and I found myself cursing for the first time
in my life,' a 17-year-old student named
Lama told the Reuters news agency. 'I felt
I wanted to kill, not only curse.'"
As students in America, we do not
have to listen when we're told to shut up
and not cur e - specially not when facing
those who come to our community and invite us to kill.
Diversity problems not necessarily linked to school's failings
Naomi Campa
GUEST OPINION
My opinion is in response to an
article by Nathaniel Burbank
("Problems With Diversity," March
12, 2003), and letters to the editor by
Steve Scott, but it has been brewing
all year with the continued popularity of racial diversity complaints.
I am one of those unfortunate,
under-represented, low-income
background minorities. No, 1 am not
the fashionable 'African-American'
student; I am what you call 'Hi panic.' My family' home is located
in a predominantly black and spic
neighborhood in Miami, and I therefore attended a school where the
black/white ratio was the exact reciprocal of this school.
I am the first to agree the lack of
diversity on campus sometimes
sucks. But the key word is 'sometimes.' Although I miss interaction
with the motley spectnun I am used
to, I can still appreciate the caliber of
student I find at New College. When
I was deciding what college to go to,
my priority was on the education,
not the etlmicity of the student body.
This is not to say diversity i not im-
portant, but it is to say lhat college is
for education. Although diversity
does, well, diversify education, a
good education is not terribly contingent with high diversity.
Suggestions have been made to
take away the importance of
SXI'/ACf scores for admission. My
response: I would like to be able to
confidently say my peers have a
good head on their boulders, even if
it mean sacrificing a few more applicants of any race. Some have said
that it is unfair, because people of
low incomes (of course, the only
poor people ever included in that
tatement are minoritie ) do not
have the money for 'expensive tests'
and their preparation courses. Fellow peers, whoever claims that to be
true must be at least one thing rich
(or at least middle class).
In Aorida, the SAT andACf are
offered for free to low income students, just as waivers are issued for
equally costly college applications.
1be limit is not just one per test, either. The tate gives up to three
waivers; yes, three, for each test
Three also happens to be the number
colleges u ually set as the limit for
taking the best ofeach score, so most
people don't take more than that
anyway. I, for one, have never paid
for any standardized test I took.
I never took any prep courses,
but assuming I had wanted to, that
would not have been an expense either. Schools usually offer
SAT/ACT preparatory courses as an
elective. Hell, you don't even have
to go to a class on your free time
since you're probably working; you
get credit for the course as a class,
and it is free.
Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate tests are not
even an issue because no one pay
for them. As for the availability of
advanced courses, AP pecifically,
online courses are offered for students who do not have the opportunity to take them at their own school.
These courses also, in effect, cany
over to college. At New College
they are used to cover the new Liberal Arts Requirements and students
do receive semester and ISP credits
for any junior co11ege credits in
Aorida. I suppose, then, that high
school does count
Paying for college is not usually
a problem either. New College is not
exactly stingy with money. They
perhaps only have the large merit
based scholarships on the NCF website, but two things must be considered First, New College ha-; Foundation and Founders scholarships
available, which they are quite gen-
erous with. Second, if a student qualified for this school, then they prolr
ably have the grades for a meritbased scholarship from New
College as well, (not to mention
Bright Futures Scholarships for
Aorida students).
Those two reasons aside, federal
and state aid i need-based, as are
several specifically African-American and Hispanic scholarships. The
money is there for those who need it
From all the minorities I call friends
in Miami from low-income backgrounds (from black and white to
red and yellow), all tho e who
wanted to pursue a higher education
are doing it Those who chose not to
follow the scholarly path are not
To conclude, many members of
the student body are so ardent for diversity that they are forgetting the
fact that we are in a performanceoriented environment. This i
school. We are here to get an education, and although diversity does
provide a better social life as well as
different perspectives in the classroom, the bottom line here is ability
not skin color.
'
S~dents. have seemed to forget
one thing: It IS not that we are not accepting any minorities, it is that not
many are applying. Did it ever occur
to any one that perhaps (fMunately
or not) the people we are attempting
harpoon and drag to this school
might not want to be here? Perhaps
this fonn of education just is not for
everyone? This is not to imply that
this fonn of education is or is not for
a certain ethnicity. This is simply to
say that New College has always attracted its own.
It would be good to attempt to
attract diverse students from different cities, ethnicities, and incomes
by having Admi ions representatives visit their chools, etc. But
what we do not need is to compromise the adnussions process in any
way, or to make excuses in order to
coerce certain types of people into
coming to this school Should we
next call Major League Baseball not
diverse enough for having too few
black people and add the National
Basketball Association for not having enough whites, Hispanics, or
~ans? Sports are physical competo
tition.
In a professional league, the best
man who wants to play will be accepted. Education is a mental competition. In an honors college, the
best man who also wants to play
should be admitted. Choice and detennination are what marlc a New
College student; race and income
have no part in either.
~Th..;;,..._eC; _;,; _at;. .;,.;. ;.aly~st:. ._. __ _ _ _C_x_T_A_LY_S_T perspective
LmERS TO THE EDITOR
available and are contributing to the
"white hegemony," particularly the
white
recipients of the National
Need-blind isn't exactly blind to
ition increases put forth by the Florida Hispanic Scholarship.
student need
government each year. However I am a
I would also like to ask Mr. Scott to
bit foggy on the issue of how admitting please clarify when it was that New
To the Editor,
students with "academic achievement College changed from being Florida's
In the March 19 issue, Steve Scott intellectual promise, leadership ability: Honors College to become just another
decided to use The Catalyst's "Letter to and a commitment to community ser- Florida College. I would also like to see
the Editor" to voice his views regarding vice" truly has anything to do with not the correlation between our attrition rate
his interpretation of what he termed being race and class-blind concerning of 72 percent and SAT scores,. Should
New College's "the opposite of need- admissions.
this prove to be correct, a new policy
based admissions" policy. I would like
Perhaps I am being naive when I say should be created banning the admisthe opportunity to use this medium as a that I do not believe that my "academic sion of any applicant with an SAT score
means to state my opinion on the matter. achievement, intellectual promise, lead- over 1250 to ensure a higher graduation
First I would like to point out that ership ability, and commitment to level. I do not like feeling as though I
the Admissions policy of New College community service" was purely the re- am severely misinformed and would apis not "the opposite of need-based ad- suit of coming from a divorced, preciate the illumination in this time of
missions." New College operates with low-income household in the Midwest. intellectual darkness.
what is known as a need-blind admis- However I am a white female, someMorgan Smith
sions policy, which is not the same thing thing that New College seems to have
as being the "opposite of need-based ad- quite a bit of. Perhaps I should not have Disb'action from war is the last
missions." As stated by Mr. Briell in a been admitted and someone of a differ- thing New College needs
letter to the editor (The Catalyst, March ent sex, race, religion, class, and writing
12, 2003) this means that New College ability who, by not showing "academic
Greetings and respect, Catalyst peochooses not to take financial need into achievement, intellectual promise, lead- ple! I wanted to voice my appreciation
consideration when looking at an appli- ership ability, and commitment to of the series of articles on terrorism and
cant for admission.
community service" as a result of their the Patriot Act that y' all have been runSince Mr. Scott is having some diffi- freedom from the pre-groomed on a col- ning the past two weeks.
culty understanding this concept, I offer lege track should have.
I also have a response to the quote
an example of what the opposite of a
Another concern I have is how I re- from Maxeme Thchman in last issue's
need-blind admissions policy is, com- ceived scholarships when I did not article about New College student reacmonly known as need-aware. At Smith receive an excellent SAT score. Does tions to the war in Iraq. She said,
College a limited amount of scholarship this mean that received them in error "We've been working with Mark
·
o a fll:ltt~QIIJ_.- ...u.a
tJetum
w so that a student
assistance i
aweiss on a number of thinss. We're
t-served basis. When the cholarship with an SAT score above mine may be trying to distract students with special
funding runs out, the admissions policy the new scholarship recipient? More activities, but also giving them inforswitches to need-aware, meaning that if than 50 percent of the student body reo- mation, like travel advisories." I think
you cannot prove that you are capable ceived a test score higher than mine, that DISTRACTION is the very LAST
of paying your fees, your application and according to your view of the ad- thing that New College students need.
will be automatically rejected. Hence llllSStons policy and scholarship
I recently attended a Peace Vigil at
the reason I feel Mr. Scott's assumption distribution my scholarship belongs Lido Beach, with about a dozen other
of the admissions policy as "the oppo- with someone more pre-groomed and New College students, and one of the
site of needs-based admissions" is a bit on the college track than I am.
songs we sang as about 100 people inIt is for this reason that I ask Mr. terchangeably held hands and lit
askew.
On a more positive note I believe Scott to show me the evidence that is candles on the windy beach was, "I
that Mr. Scott's challenge for stronger available to him which is not available ain't gonna study war no more." I wa
need-based awards is to be commended. to me to which I must quite obviously struck by my own hypocrisy in particI would like to know when he is making be an exception to so that the student ipating in singing that song, as what I
his merit-based funds available, as my body can know the names of the evil am doing as a college student IS
Pell Grant with its $50 annual increase students with above par SAT scores that studying war, and I don't plan on stopis not enough to compensate for the tu- have lain claim to all of the scholarships ping any time soon. I believe the point
Contribution Guidelines
CORRECTIONS
--The Catalyst, in an earlier issue,
misidentified the use of "proverbial
MSG" in Sodexho cooking. Sodexho
does not use MSG, and The Catalyst did
not purposefully claim that Sodexho was
using MSG. The Catalyst apologizes for
any misunderstanding.
--The Catalyst, in an earlier issue,
printed a wrong edition of one of Op-Ed
Columnist Michael Sanderson's opinions. The issue has been corrected for
viewing online, as well as in the
archives. The Catalyst regrets the error.
'j',,'•
···'·'
,:
Editorial: A statement of the
opinion of the paper as determined
by the editorial board. At the
Catalyst. editorial boards are
formed on an ad hoc, issue:.by-issue
basis and con ist of editors and staff
miters. Only the editorial board can
produce editorials.
Opinion: An op--ed piece written
y a member of the Catalyst staff or
a guest contributor. Opinions dQ n ·t
ecessarily represent the views of
the Catalyst, but rather opinions of
which we feel the New College
community should be made aware.
Opinion pieces range from 250
to 500 words in ~ength, and the edi- ·
tors should be contacted beforehand
in order to insure space for guest
opinion.
Letter to the Editor: A reader's
response to previous articles, letters.
editorials or opinion pieces, or a
response to an issue or event related
to New College not covered in the
Catalyst. Letters to the Editor
should be no more than 250 words.
Contributions: A factual article
written by someone 'not on staff.
Contributions should be informative
and pertinent to the interests of New
College students as a whole.
Contributions may range in length
from 250 to 500 words.
.,...,.~""i=\
..W:i'
of the song was to encourage ACTION
in the place of CONTEMPLATION
over these upsetting events.
Julia Onnie-Hay
'Liberal' can be a derogatory nick·
name as well
I would like to congratulate
Nathaniel Burbank and The Catalyst
for his article, "Opinion: New College
is an 'open,' not 'liberal,' campus society."
I very much agree with the issues
that he brought up, and I think that this
is something very, very important for
New College students and Admissions
to keep in mind as we plan to expand
the student body..
New College shows itself to be a
"very liberal school" on many terms. I
understood "liberal" to be what
Nathaniel Burbank pointed out to be
"open" to different views, ideas and
opinions.
It really saddens me to find out that
when some New College students
fight against what they call "bigotry,
hypocrisy and close-mindedness of
conservatives," all that they are really
doing is establishing their OWN bigotry, hypocrisy and close-mindedness
under the label of "liberal."
It
ma-=:d
~e;.,m
;;e~e-v,;e.n.;m~o~r·e~d·i·stau.rb-epd·t~o~,.~;:;~
Bl
Jaear a
pects of a student (m this case, my
own dressing habits) are not "what
New CoJJege should be," for it was
different than his own (and his circle
of friends') idea.
What New College should be, and
what it claims to be, is what Nathaniel
Burbank dubbed "open" as opposed to
"liberal."
It seems like we fight against the
"pop culture" just to create our own
"counter-culture" the very "pop culture" we are fighting against!
Keep up the good work, and thanks
for everything.
Gus Oliveira
All submis ion should be placed in
box 75 or e-mailed to catalyst
@ncf.edu by Friday at 5:00 p.m. to
appear
in
the
following
Wednesday's issue. The Catalyst
reserves the right to edit all submis
sion for space, grammar or style.
Speak Out!
Have a different opinion than
this one?
Phone:359-4266
Email: catalyst @nd.edu
Snail ~1: Box 75
2801 . Tamiami rail
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.,~., . . . . . ..
The Cataclysm
THINGs You DoN'T CARE ABOUT
April 1, 2003
NEW COLLEGE RUMOR MILL GUIDE
about the ki lers?
From the Archives: by Byron Hartsfield
3. Object Roll two dice.
You have no doubt heard a great deal
2. Antonio Banderas
about the New College Rumor Mill. No one
3. the Campus Police
ever seems to know exactly what it is, or
4. Dean Michalson
what it looks like, but it is (or so rumor says)
5-8. A random student (point at the
the source of all the irresponsible slanders
student directory with your eyes
that fly so readily around campus (or at least
closed.)
you've heard they do, even though no one
9. Bill Clinton
ever seems to tell you any.)
10. Dean Schenck
WelL now you no longer need to wonder
11. Trent Reznor
what the Mill is, or what gossip you're miss12. the Mormon Tabernacle choir
ing, because I have decided to provide you
with a Rumor Mill of your very own. If you 4. Location. Roll two dice.
find yourself low on reliable gossip (i.e.
2. In the back parking lot
made up by someone other than yourself)
3. In the cafeteria
you can create your own gossip using only a
4. In Palm Court
name and two dice. And through the miracle
5. At Perkins
of myth, your new rumor will become reli6. At Shell
able gossip for the first person you tell it to.
7. At the last Wall
Just pick a subject, and you can randomly
8. In his/her dorm room
roll a verb, object, place and motive for
9. In the Pub Office
some sordid or ridiculous dead.
10. In the Cop Shop
This table is presented for amusement
11. In Bangkok
purpose . If someone starts actually slander12. At the Medieval Fair
ing you using it, it's not our fault. Do not
even bother suing the school for emotional 5. Motive. Roll two dice.
damage. It's already been done once this
2. Out of desperation.
year.
3. Because of his Oedipus complex
(or her Electra complex)
1. Subject. Pick someone you know (or just
4. To see what it would feel like
feel like talking about)
5. While he/she was tripping
l. Verb. Roll the dice.
2. Stole the wallet of
3. Slashed the tires of
4. Called the cops on
5. Put up nasty signs about
6. Had sex with
7.1<; dating
8. Broke up with
9.Attacked
10. Is suing (roll Object) for having
(roll another Verb) him/her
ll. Is spreading false rumors about
12. Bought drugs from
other Vern) himlher
7. I have no idea why
8. To get back at (roll another
Object) for (roll another Verb)
him/her
9. Because be/she thought it was the
right thing to do
10. Because he/she thought it was the
wrong thing to do
11. For profit
12. To make a point
This originally appeared in the April I,
1997 issue of'The Cataclysm.
Need I say more?
Interestingly, a survey recently conMichael Gimignani ducted by the New York Sun-American
found that ninety percent of human
OPIN ION
conversation is anecdote. Couldn't a
murderer easily pull a life story out of
his (or her) ass?
Think about walking up to a erial
Television, newspapers, and even killer and asking, "So, what was it like,
qualified people have told us for years murdering that guy?" That would be
that serial killers are normal human be- some thrill, having someone speak
ings. Plus, many of them have done calmJy about murder.
interesting things in their time off from
In other words, human beings love
killing, not to mention their time "on tragedy. It's our nature. There seem to
the job." So why can't one of them be more reality and voyeur shows on
speak at New College's next com- network television than actual "fake"
mencement?
shows, because our ADD-afflicted soSerial killers are an important un- ciety has grown out of drama. It's so
tapped resource. While not all of them much funnier to laugh at real people,
would make for passable raconteurs, a isn't it? So let's take that to a: logical
convicted murderer wouldn't have to conclusion.
speak like Charles Nelson Reilly to
Real speakers are expensive. I don't
captivate an audience. And, as The want to spend $12,000 on Cornel West
Silence of the Lambs taught us, serial for about eight minutes of speech.
killers can be some of the most articu- Serial killers would be cheap. I'm sure
late and thought-provoking men and a lot of them want to talk about the erwomen in existence. True members of rors of their ways. It might even have
society, even.
one of those cheesy morals, like an
One alleged mass murderer, James after-school special.
Nichols, just appeared in Michael
Of course, if the proceeding disinte'
. .
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There might even be nudity.
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JosH
#4
PETE
FAN
Michael Gimignani
FAN Sarah Ze/1
Dow# I
-·-·-·-·-·-·-·josH
#2
FAN
Caitlin Young
NoT A FAN OF jOSH Whitney Krohn
josH #I FAN Nathaniel Burbank
jOSH.COM EDITOR Erin Marie Blasco
New College is better looking this semester than
ever before. While many attribute the overall handomene s improvement to a recent surge in miling
students, both trends can be attributed to a ingle phenomenon.
Third-year transfer student Josh Orr enrolled at
New College in Jan. 2003, and faculty and tudents
alike have been glowing ever ince.
New College Admi sions Czar Randy Darrelton,
who evaluated Orr's admissions application, placed
the new student's potential as "somewhere between a
young [New College Pre ident] Gordon Michal on
and Florence Nightengale."
!s that he was never _too inGrowing u
al educat10n, but eventually decided on
pire
ew College based on a gut
feeling.
'
Novo Collegians are thanking God that he did.
''l think it's totally awesome that Josh passed up a professional European
basketball career to come to school here," said thirdyear David M. Robin on. "I can't say that I would
have done the same. But I think the New College
ladies are giving him enough fanfare, if you know
what I mean, heh heh heh," Robinson said
The ladies concur emphatically with the perceptive Robinson.
"Jo h i the handsomest boy at chool. Between
his crazy sense of humor, a smile that the girls go
crazy for, and those divine red locks [of hair], I think
he's quite a catch," said his mother, Laurie Orr.
But the girls aren't alone in the awe.
"The kid is special, no doubt about it," said
Literature profe or Mac Miller. Miller's current poetry project, a chapbook entitled Jo h Dynamite,
focuses on the "Orr Fever" that blanketed both sides
of the Sarasota-Bradenton line in late January.
Whether or not the "Fever" will reach epidemic status
is still unsure, though most probable.
Miller said his creative obligation to Josh
Dynamite was realized upon flr t seeing
Summer heat doesn't hold a candle
to New College's Josh Orr Fever
the hoards of tudents that daily surround Orr's cafeteria table like iron filing to a mighty magnet.
"While Jo h is not my muse, per se, his pirit has
campu .
inspired many individuals on thi
Phenomena like that cannot be ignored," said Miller.
Authorities outside of New College are also taking
note. Aside from honorary citation from the city of
Sarasota, and awards from local Freemasons, about
which Orr refused to comment, national academia has
felt his power.
Fodor's "Top 200 Universitie ," a college-rating
journal for prospective tudents, ranked New College
as lflO in it 2004 edition, a full twelve spot above its
2003 ranking.
"The calculation i pretty imple," aid Fodor's
Editor Diane Bosworth. "You've got a guy who'
from California, is left-handed, [extremely] handsome, a rna ter of the black arts, has impeccable taste
in mu ic, and used to play in a band with River
Phoenix .... That will raise a school's overaU ranking
at least nine spots. The River Phoenix connection and
left-handedne s alone will bump a chool up at least
two [spots]," Bosworth said.
The wunderkind Orr is quick to explain his Iefthander pride to others, noting that "Left-handed
people .on average are _80%
•
more likely to be geruu e s
than right-banders, according
· · "
1bousft pmfisposed to ge:.
nius, life wasn't always so peachy for Josh Orr.
Society's recent acceptance of ]eft-banders is bittersweet for him, as former misconceptions about
"lefties" provided many threatening challenges for handicap when his amateur photojournalism endeavsuch a tudent in the ignorant, righty-dominated aca- ors were noticed by members of rap group the
demic climate of the 1980s.
Wu-Tang Clan, a they chanced by him on the street
"They made [leftie ] use "V
_J
one afternoon. The Wu soon
special "left-handed" scisu
after commissioned him to
sors," the tip of which "were
document their "Killah
completely rounded, and their
-President Michalson's daughter Bees" performance tour in a
too edges dull to cut anything.
photo-essay.
Rightie were given sharp cis ors that cut well, and
Wu-Tang member "Method Man and Inspectah
so naturally excelled when it came to art projects."
Deck are both lefties. They knew where I was corning
A sensitive artist, Orr says that the institutional- from, and turned me on to load of research about
ized low-balling of lefties left him creatively stifled left-hand/right-brain orientation that has only recently
and hopeless.
come to light in major medical journals. I read and re"If it weren't for Wu-Tang," Orr explained, ''I'd
earched [left-handed info] like a madman [during)
probably still be drinking Schlitz [Malt Liquor] on the entire "Killah Bees" tour," Orr said. By the end of
downtown [San Diego] street comers, d.re ing home- the tour "I felt like a rna ive weight had been lifted
less veterans' wound and singing Smiths' songs for off of me. Meth and I were waving big left-handed
middle fingers in Righty's face one night in
per onal olace and spare change."
Orr finally realized hi left-handedness was not a Vancouver, and it just hit me: I can make something
of my elf."
I appreciate Mr. Orr's presence on campus. and I
Soon after Orr began a year-long college search
hope that his time here will help to bring about positive
in 2001 which concluded with hi arrival at New
changes. Perhaps he could work for Admissions as
College. Life ha mellowed out for Orr ince mov,he Hot Guy Ambassador." I'm sure he has stories to
ing into the quiet ew College community, which
tell that would inspire many red-blooded young men to
was "exactly what I was looking for. I needed sometime to chill out and sculpt my mind with the
come to a college where competition for girls is almost
nil.
inspiration of new face excited about getting acaJosh is not enough. Have you seen his waiting list?
demic. Touring the world with rap stars isn't all it's
(http://studentweb.ncf.edu/Catalyst!Joshyjosh.html)
cracked up to be."
He's going to have to become a ,hesis-studenf (aka
Whether or not Mr. Orr finds that ew College is
seventh-year) in order to fill all the work orders.
"all it' cracked up to be" remain to be seen, though
Something must be done. Stop the insanity.
the entire campus community certainly eems to
think that he is, in the word · of Anthropology pro·Caitlin Young
fe , or Maria Vesperi ''All that and a bag of chip ."
"Lt.ke damn' "
Dear Editors (the ones besides me),
This letter stems from many things
One is what I feel to be a lack on the part of
Admissions to recruit diverse applicants. Second,
is this week's editorial. Third is just old-fashioned
frustration.
We need to be recruiting hotter, straighter, taller
males. If there's any under-represented group on
campus, that's the one. Sure everyone complains that
alternative cultures aren't represented ... but maybe
those candidates aren't coming here because there's
one thing that we lack that can't be replaced by a
sterling liberal arts education.
Seya.
I 1, 2003
I.e ah ' I' ba n g h.tm. "
~--~--------------------~~----------------------------------------~
POORLY-ATTENDED EVENTS PAGE
April 1, 2003
New Co lege liberals learn to ove each other
by josh Orr
Nathaniel Burbank/Ga/acl}:rm
Everyone's getting in on the act: New College
President Gordon Michalson betrays his Yale
college experience with some well-tuned
drumming, but the bandana is Dolce and
Gabbana (above); The New College flag was
slightly redecorated for the event, using only
100% natural indigo and silkberry from the
Crosley Estate, and 50% post-consumer content mylar balloons line the tables (below).
"oppressive" middle-class contingent over lower-inSeeing Dean of Students Mark Blawei s and come students due to decreased state funding for
President Gordon Michalson twirling in a sunset drum financial aid.
"It's not my fault that the overwhelming majority of
circle is not an experience that many New College students can boa t of. Yet group of lucky prospective jaded hippies and [self-as ured liberals] come from
student were grooving with the both fellows last middle- and upper middle-class home ," she said.
"Where else can you look for individuals so contented
weekend, within hour of setting foot on campu .
Self-Assured Liberals Weekend--part of recent ad- with liberal arts?"
Darrelton aid that all guests of Self-Assured
mis ions initiatives, like Multicultural Weekend and
Jaded Hippie Weekend, to attract contingencies of stu- Liberals Weekend were invited based on information
dents that New College lacks--solidified New they provided in the "Optional information" section of
College's dedication to the liberal arts through a mod- the 2003-2004 admissions application. The decision was
ified visitor weekend geared towards the interest of based solely on response to the que tion, "What critici m , if any, would you make of George W. Bu h?"
elect, prospective students.
A11 applicants who provided positive commentary
The call for more self-assured, liberal students
comes in light of the soaring Republican presence on on the pre ident were di eluded from the liberals
carnpu , which, according to a recent study, has in- search. Priority of invitation among those who procreased from three-percent to eight-percent of the vided negative criticism was decided by evaluating
student body in the pa t five years. It is a trend that their ''critici m quotient."
The criticism quotient was arrived at through mathsome fear will only continue escalating.
"But this weekend was not about fearing the
continued on b ck cover
Republicans," said Admissions Czar Randy Darrelton. "It
was about celebrating the liberal e sence of New College."
All guests clo ed Thur day and Saturday with a
drum circle at the bay led by the surprisingly agile
Michalson and Blaweiss, though their jam band, "Mike
Mikey and the Weis -outs," declined playing the event.
A eminar entitled, "Radical Solutions from
Radical In titutions" provided prospective and current
stu ents w1
·
i
saving the wor1d. Most agreed on certain necessities,
like saving wild1ife, meditating, educating world leaders about cultural relativism, and a world vegan
revolution, while some New College students turned
heads with notions worthy of their "radical" reputation.
First-year Ben Peepen's proclamation of the necessity to "destroy the middle-class, the historically
deluded buffer zone for oppressive capitalist leaders,"
took many prospective families aback, particularly
ince they were all of middle-cia s incomes.
Admissions spokesman Dana Forrest denied
charge that the chool had begun pandering to the

ew foo er 1s so e bo er

Transcription

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