How to Orgasm, A Womans, Guide to Achieving Climax

Tips & Advice
how to orgasm
A Woman’s Guide to Achieving Climax
The female orgasm can be an elusive little
beast. Unlike the male orgasm, which is fairly
straightforward (hint: penis), climax can be more
complex for the ladies. However, once you’ve
captured the female orgasm, you’ll find it gets easier
and easier to train and enjoy. This guide offers tips and techniques to find your best orgasm.
Different women experience orgasms in different ways.
Some woman have one orgasm at a time, others have five in a row. Some women enjoy orgasms from G-spot
stimulation, whereas it makes others feel like they need to pee. Of course, there are some commonalities – while
some women (a minority) can reach orgasm through intercourse alone, for most, it’s not that simple. Studies
indicate that as many as 75% of women who have orgasms require clitoral stimulation to do so.1 One thing is
certain – our sexuality is as unique to each of us as our fingerprint, so there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes
to making your back arch and your toes curl.
If you have a hard time reaching orgasm, you’re not alone.
33-50% of women experience orgasm infrequently and are dissatisfied with how often they reach it.2 But don’t
be discouraged; after learning a few common techniques and areas to explore, you can experiment and discover
what’s best for you.
It’s not all about the destination – enjoy the journey.
Orgasms are easier if you’re not hell bent on having one. They’re a blast, of course, but so is exploring your body
and getting to know what feels good. Growing up, we learned from cartoons that “knowing is half the battle.”
Jimmyjane has a different truism when it comes to orgasms – “practicing is half the fun.”
Read on to find out about the female anatomy, different types of orgasms, and how to reach them through
different types of stimulation, and tips and techniques.
Note: If you think you might have a serious orgasmic disorder, for example, if you were previously able to have an orgasm and now you
can’t, read about anorgasmia on Cory Silverberg’s sexuality site on About.com.
© Copyright Jimmyjane, Inc, 2012. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com
Female Anatomy
For best results, get to know your equipment.
It’s time to learn about your body. Yes, you’ve lived with it for years,
but there’s always more to discover. Even familiar friends can be full of
surprises.
head
ears
lips
neck
The Erogenous Zones
These come in three flavors – primary (most sensitive), secondary (less sensitive) and
tertiary (least sensitive). Stimulating the secondary erogenous zones is a great way to
build excitement. Focusing on the neck, ears, feet, hands, and breasts can put you in
the mood so that once you get to the primary zones, you’re already hot and bothered.
Heighten the sensations with oils and lotions like afterglow Massage Oil
Candles, beyond lotions, or Blossom Organics Warming Oil or Breast Cream.
arms
Though a great foot massage might get you pretty close, stimulation of the primary
erogenous zones is the most likely way to reach an orgasm. Primary zones include lips,
nipples, and genitals. Stroke, rub, and lavish attention on these areas. Blossom Organics
Arousal Gel and Good Clean Love Lubricant can help keep all your parts sensitive and
slippery.
hands
The specifics.
legs
nipples
chest
back
inner arms
genitals
Now that you have the basics, let’s focus on a few key areas that can lead you directly
to the golden orgasm at the end of your pleasure-bow. It can feel good to caress pretty
much any part of the vulva (the external female genitals, including the labia majora, labia
minora, clitoris, etc.) or the vagina (the actual tunnel that leads to the cervix and uterus).
However, your elusive orgasm is most likely hiding in one of these specific spots –
inner thighs
Erogenous Zones
primary
secondary
tertiary
feet
Your Clitoris – The Nexus of Good Things
If you need help locating your clitoris, look at the region just
above your vaginal opening. See that little bud at the top of
your inner labia? The one that sends a shiver through your
body when you touch it? Yep, that’s it. It actually extends into
your body, but that little button on the outside is the secret to
many a female orgasm. The tip of the clitoris contains
approximately 8,000 nerve endings, almost
twice that of the tip of the penis (score 1
for the ladies). As a result, direct clitoral
stimulation can be pretty intense, so
many women prefer stimulation of
the hood or the surrounding area.
If want to experiment with clitoral
stimulation, try an external vibrator like
form 2 or form 3.
clitoris
urethra
vagina
*
perineum
anus
Be safe while your sexy.
Read the the smart shopper’s guide to sex accessories.
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com
Female Anatomy – Continued
Your G-spot – How to Find It and What to Try Once You Do
Some women find G-spot stimulation to be extremely
pleasurable and even orgasm inducing. The G-spot,
named for German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg,
is an area of soft, spongy tissue about one inch in
diameter, typically located about one to three inches
up the front wall of the vagina. To find it, insert your
finger a few inches inside your vagina,
then curl it toward the belly, as shown
in the diagram to the right. Once you’ve
located it, you can reach it with an
insertable vibrator, such as iconic
rabbit, or one with a curved head,
such as form 6.
G-spot
Uterus
Vagina
Anus
Your Anus – Handle with Care
Much like the vagina, the skin around your anus is incredibly sensitive. Many women enjoy stimulation
of the perineum and the area near the anal opening, while others enjoy anal penetration. Because the
space between the vagina and rectum is very thin, penetrating the anus can sometimes also provide
G-spot stimulation. Though anal sex is becoming more accepted (and popular), not everyone wants
to dive right in. Try inserting a finger, vibrator or a butt plug before moving on to penile penetration.
form 6 and the Njoy anal plug both work well for this. little chroma is nice and slim,
but if you’re going to use it for anal penetration, lace a cord through the two holes in the cap so it
can be retrieved safely. Be sure that any kind of anal play involves plenty of lubrication – unlike the
vagina, the anus provides no natural moisture. Never insert anything that may get stuck and never
move anything (penis or otherwise) from anus to vagina – the bacteria can cause infection. Learn
more about safe anal penetration in our section on types of stimulation.
Your Brain – The Most Powerful Sex Organ of All
Never underestimate the power of your mind when it comes to getting off. Your
thoughts, feelings and imagination can bring you to the brink of orgasm (and maybe
beyond). Some women enjoy reading erotic books to jumpstart their fantasies. Check
out Violet Blue’s annual anthology of the Best Women’s Erotica. Others like to fantasize
about people they’ve met (or want to meet) or sexy situations they’ve been in (or want
to be in).
Think about what turns you on.
Now think about it while touching yourself. Fun, right?
Need a Visual?
Visit our Screening Room for snappy videos highlighting
features and benefits of our most popular products.
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com
Types of Stimulation
It’s not just where you touch, it’s how.
Now that you’ve reviewed the female anatomy, you can focus on what kind of
stimulation is best for you. Stimulation includes rubbing or touching with your
own fingers, someone else’s fingers or body part, penetration, oral sex or
the use of an accessory, such as a vibrator. Jimmyjane offers vibrators for
every kind of stimulation. To learn more about the vibrators mentioned
on this page, read about our guide to Types of Vibrators.
form 3
Clitoral Stimulation
While almost any vibrator can be used to stimulate the clitoris, different shapes offer
different advantages. With its two internally-powered ears, form 2 surrounds the
clitoris in the strongest vibrations around. form 3 features a soft, silicone Touchpad to
help you focus vibration exactly where it counts. Smaller vibrators like the iconic bullet can
easily be cupped in the hand and held against the clitoris.
iconic ring
Clitoral Stimulation During Intercourse
For hands-free use, Vibrating Rings like the iconic ring are a great option. Bullets and
pocket vibrators are small enough to be held in place, but depending on the position, can be
less convenient. form 3 is thin enough to be held between two bodies during sex so that
the lip vibrates against your clitoris and his penis at the same time.
form 2
Internal Stimulation
Vibrators intended for internal stimulation have elongated forms so that they’re easy to hold
onto during insertion. Some women enjoy a sensation of fullness, while others are interested
in stimulating specific sensitive areas, such as the G-spot. If you’re interested in a narrower
shape, consider a small Smoothie, such as little chroma or little
something. If you’re looking to reach the G-spot, a vibrator with a
curved shape, like form 4 or form 6 can make this possible.
little chroma
Simultaneous Internal & Clitoral Stimulation
For internal and clitoral stimulation at the same time, a “Twice As Nice” type
vibrator such as the iconic rabbit is the answer. Note also that if a
man wears a Vibrating Ring such as the iconic ring, he can become
“Twice As Nice” as well.
form 6
form 4
Need help deciding?
With so many options, it can be tough to decide which
to buy. Our guide on How to Choose will help you to
select the perfect vibrator for any occasion.
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
iconic rabbit
www.jimmyjane.com
Types of Stimulation – Continued
Anal Stimulation
Many women enjoy both internal and external forms of anal stimulation. Just be sure to follow these
safety tips when going anywhere near the anus to keep yourself healthy and happy –
Use it, don’t lose it. If you plan to use a vibrator anally, be sure that it either has a flange, a waist, or a cord so that
it can be retrieved safely. Unlike in the vagina, where penetration is limited by the cervix, foreign objects can become
“lost” in the rectum. The small end of form 6 is suitable for anal use, as the narrow neck limits the likelihood of it
slipping, and the large end of the vibrator can be held firmly. little chroma
and little something vibrators can be used anally, but only when you
lace a cord through the two holes in the cap so it can be retrieved safely.
Keep it slippery. There are three key factors for enjoyable anal sex – lubrication,
lubrication and lubrication. Unlike the vagina, the rectum doesn’t create its own
moisture, so everyone needs lubricant for anal sex. Try products like Good Clean Love
and Blossom Organics Lubricant to keep everything smooth, slippery and safe.
Keep it clean. Cleanliness is a bigger concern for anal adventures than for most other
types of sex as there is potentially harmful bacteria in the rectum. When using accessories
anally, only use ones that are easy to clean. Alternatively, you can cover them with a
condom. Anything that goes into the anus (vibrator, dildo, penis, finger, etc) must be
thoroughly washed before going near the vagina.
Wondering which vibrators are best for which type of stimulation?
Here’s a handy chart –
the usual suspects
little something
form
External/Clitoral
Clitoral During Sex
Simultaneous
Internal/External
Internal Vaginal
G-spot
Couples Sex
Anal
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com
Types of Orgasms
Orgasms come in many shapes and sizes.
It’s not always easy to find your orgasm, but once you do, there’s an array of flavors to
discover. Female orgasms come in numerous forms and, if you’re lucky, can even arrive in
multiples. Physiologically and emotionally, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm – a muscular
contraction partnered with a rush of pleasure-inducing hormones. That said, sex educator
and author Betty Dodson describes at least nine different kinds of orgasms in her book,
Orgasms for Two. These include pressure orgasms, tension orgasms, relaxation orgasms,
fantasy orgasms and more. Read more details in our friend Cory Silverberg’s sexuality site
on About.com. Below we’ll focus on the most common types – clitoral, G-spot, and blended.
Internal vs. External
Most women require external, or clitoral, stimulation to achieve an orgasm. With thousands of nerve endings, the clitoris
is said by many sexperts and sexologists to be the female pleasure center. However, there is a minority out there (less
than a quarter of all women) who can climax through internal stimulation alone – that is, through intercourse or other
types of penetration.
Some women experience simultaneous internal and external orgasms.
This is called a combination or blended orgasm and requires clitoral and vaginal or G-spot stimulation at the same
time. You can begin by using your fingers or an external vibrator such as form 3 for clitoral stimulation during
intercourse. “Twice As Nice” vibrators, such as the iconic rabbit, are another great way to experiment
with this. Alternatively, you can make your man (or a vibrator designed for internal stimulation) “Twice As Nice” by
adding an iconic ring for clitoral stimulation.
Single vs. Multiple
Single orgasms can last anywhere from a few seconds to a minute. Unlike most men, who require a refractory period of anywhere
from minutes to hours to recover between orgasms, some women can have multiple orgasms with little or no pause in between.
Multiple orgasms come in two forms – sequential and serial.
Sequential orgasms are orgasms that occur after one another with a few minutes in between. Additional
stimulation is often required to get from one to the next, but there is no limit to how many you might
have during one encounter. There’s no such thing as too many orgasms, that is, as long as you’re still
able to walk afterwards. Serial orgasms are one orgasm experienced immediately
after the next and the next and the next… This is a wild ride for
those who can actually achieve it (which is not many).
Real vs. Fake
Studies indicate that as many as 80% of women have faked an orgasm at one time or another.3 There are many reasons – from
wanting to boost our partners’ self esteem, to feeling bad about being unable to achieve an orgasm, to just being too tired and
wanting to call it a night. You’ve probably heard it before, but it’s worth repeating – nobody wins when you fake it.
Faking it sends the wrong message.
One major problem with faking an orgasm is that it communicates to your partner that he or she
is doing something right, when really, they may be completely off. Clear, honest communication is
the key to a healthy, happy sex life, and faking it only hinders that openness.
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com
Tips and Techniques
So now that you know the basics, how do you actually have an orgasm?
Since it varies for everyone, there are no fool-proof, step-by-step instructions. That said, there are a few simple
things you can try – with a partner, with a vibrator, or with nothing but your own two hands and your imagination
– that should get you well on your way toward the big climax.
On Your Own
Many women find it easier to have autoerotic orgasms (orgasms through masturbation) than with a partner. After all, you know better
than anyone what makes you feel good. Plus, it can be easier to let yourself go when there’s no audience. Here are some suggestions
to get to know your body –
1.Walk before you run. Just like any good date should, treat yourself right and set the mood. Turn off your phone, lock the
door, dim the lights, put on some music – whatever feels right to you.
2.Stay warm. A study recently covered by the BBC News reported that a woman is 30% more likely to have an orgasm if her feet
are warm. A hot bath (or some sexy, sexy wool socks) is a great way to go.
3.Get comfy. Many women masturbate while lying on their backs with their knees up and their legs spread. Others prefer lying
face-down or even on their side with their legs wrapped around a pillow. Experiment and see what feels best for you.
4.Start thinking. What turns you on? Think about a scenario, imaginary or real that turns you on. Maybe there’s a sexy scene
from a book you read that you want to recall. This is one of the most fun parts – there are no restrictions on what you think about
to get excited. If you want something to help get you started, try reading some erotica or watching a softcore film.
5.Work yourself up. Foreplay isn’t just for partners. Don’t be in a rush to get to your vagina, touch yourself elsewhere to turn
yourself on. Rubbing your thighs, stomach, neck or breasts can build arousal.
6.Let your fingers do the work. Using one finger or several, explore your vagina. Caress different parts – your inner and outer
labia, your clitoris, your vagina and your perineum. See what feels especially good.
7.Or use a vibrator. Try using a vibrator to stimulate your vagina, clitoris and nipples in a way that your fingers can’t. External
vibrators, like form 2 are perfect for adding sensation.
8. T
he main event. When you feel good and ready, use a finger or two to rhythmically stroke the area around your
clitoris. You can use lubricant or saliva to keep things slippery. Place a finger on either side of the clitoris and stroke
up and down, or put your finger on the clitoral hood and rub in a circular motion. Experiment with a variety of
pressures, speeds and motions. Some women enjoy adding penetration to their play. You can use your
fingers, a dildo, or an internal vibrator, like form 4, form 6, little chroma
or iconic smoothie.
9. Play with breath and motion. Clenching and releasing your PC
muscles (pubococcygeus muscles) can make it easier to have an orgasm.
You can also try rocking your pelvis back and forth and breathing
deeply. These are all physical cues that tell your brain that you’re
ready to have an orgasm.
10. If at first you don’t succeed... You know the
rest. Just remember, learning to have an orgasm
is a lot more fun than learning your multiplication
tables. And possibly more important (don’t tell
your 4th grade math teacher). The good news is
that once you’ve done it a few times by yourself,
it’s easier to do again and again – either alone or
as a team. Just like riding a bike. A bike that makes
you feel amazing.
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com
Tips and Techniques – Continued
With a Partner
There are many orgasm-inducing activities you can enjoy with a partner that you
can’t do on your own. Oral sex, for example, unless you’re freakishly flexible.
However, since everyone’s body is different, you can’t expect your partner
to automatically know what feels best for yours. Express what you like and
what you don’t like, either with words, sounds or body language. You
can even show your partner with your hands how and where to touch.
All the tips for masturbation apply to partner time as well.
Don’t be afraid to touch yourself during sex, to move your body in
any way that feels good, and to think about whatever turns you
on (there’s no rule that says you can’t think about Ryan Gosling).
With a Partner and a Vibrator
As many as 79% of women who use vibrators use
them with their partners.4 Vibrators such as the
iconic smoothie and form 3
are popular with couples because they can
provide clitoral stimulation during penetration.
For more tips on choosing the right vibrator
for you and your partner and adding it
to your relationship,
check out our section
on Introducing a
Vibrator.
NOTES
1
Al Cooper, Ph.D., Sex Therapist “Understanding the Female Orgasm” (July 2003)
2
Medline Plus Medical Encyclopedia, “Orgasmic Dysfunction” (September 2002)
3
Brewer G and Hendrie CA., “Evidence to suggest that copulatory vocalizations in women are not a reflexive consequence of orgasm.” (2010)
4
University of Indiana researchers. Hebernick D. et al. “Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use By Women in the U.S.: Results from a
Nationally Representative Study,” Journal of Sexual Medicine 6:1857 (2009)
Give a vibrator as a gift.
Read our how to give pleasure Gift Guide
© Copyright Jimmyjane,
2011 Jimmyjane,
Inc, 2012.
Inc. All rights reserved.
www.jimmyjane.com