the power of De Kindertelefoon

Transcription

KT
Magazine of de Kindertelefoon
THE VOLUNTEER
IN FOCUS
De Kindertelefoon
and child abuse
the power of
De Kindertelefoon
www.kindertelefoon.nl
editorial
The most important step,
34 years and counting
‘De Kindertelefoon, do they still exist?’This is not a rare question to be asked our counsellors when
they speak of their work with this helpline. In a way this is good news. They listen to the troubles
of 8 to 18 year-olds and answer their questions. Whether the subjects are serious, grave, playful,
unsure, obvious or surprising, the connection is always made within the privacy of anonymity. This
anonymity has clearly held up well.
But; Yes! De Kindertelefoon still exists. 34 years and counting. And by now De Kindertelefoon is
much more than a telephonic helpline alone. To give you an idea: on top of over 400.000 phone
calls, De Kindertelefoon has more than 11.000 online chat connections per year and over 640.000
website visitors. This intensive contact with youth, discussing what is on their minds, effectively
makes De Kindertelefoon a social barometer. The organisation gains a lot of insight into helping youth and children, and thus can contribute to setting up helplines in other countries and to
scientific research.
If you are thinking ‘De Kindertelefoon, I never notice it, that organisation must be dead’, you are
dead wrong. Nearly all (95%) children and youth in the Netherlands know of De Kindertelefoon.
For many of them reaching out to De Kindertelefoon means a first (reassuring) answer to their
question, a first step in the right direction. Very often the most important step… And that has not
changed in 34 years.
For an organisation that is part of a business sector in which a lot will change over the coming
years, sometimes it is a shame that the essence of its work stays behind closed doors. Because if
adults sometimes are barely aware of the existence of De Kindertelefoon, or of its necessity to exist, how can one expect them to make just decisions on the future of the helpline?
This is the exact reason why you, politician, director, manager, partner or one that is interested in
De Kindertelefoon, hold this magazine in your hands. Now every involved party, familiar with De
Kindertelefoon or not, can get an insight into the importance of this organisation for the children
and youth in our society. An importance that in my view is hard to overstate.
But please do decide for yourself.
Enjoy the read!
Hans Kamps
Voorzitter Jeugdzorg Nederland
3
CONTENTS
3
4
6
8
12
Editorial
Memories of De Kindertelefoon
adults who called when they were young
15
How It All Got Started
16
Volunteer in Focus: Nourdin
Table of Contents
Timeline
34 Years De Kindertelefoon
17The Importance of Child Helplines
20 Children on Children’s Rights
21 Partners in Collaboration in the Battle for Children’s Rights
22The Professional Volunteer
23The Phone Room According
24
25
to Gabriel Kousbroek
Volunteer in Focus: Aileen
Dossier KT online
-chat
-forum
-peer2peer
31
Volunteer in Focus: Trijntje
32
Interview Yvonne van Sark
on the adolescent brain
34
37
De Kindertelefoon & Sex
Taboos no, fun yes
46
50
De Kindertelefoon & Child Abuse
This Is What It’s All About
themed images | photo dossier
Survey & Polls on Child Abuse
51 Volunteer in Focus: Irma
52Meldknop.nl
53 PR Materials
54Infographic
56 Interview
Willemijn van Dolen
57
Volunteer
in Focus: Jolanda
58
60
65
66
67
De Kindertelefoon & Bullying
Childhelplines Around the World
Volunteer in Focus: Luuk
Foundation Friends of De KT
Colophon and Credits
5
Of the 21
Kindertelefoon
branches,
by now 18
have joined
the National
Consultation
Kindertelefoons,
a form in
which each
Kindertelefoon
maintains its
autonomy.
From now on all
Kindertelefoon
branches can be
reached, free of
charge, on one
phone number:
06-0432.
De Kindertelefoon
launches its website www.kindertelefoon.nl, where
children and youth
can contribute to
sections like “the
wall of complaints”
or “dream castle”.
De Kindertelefoon
has been up and
running for 18
years and has
reached adulthood! We organise a celebratory
phone marathon
with celebrity
guests manning
the phones.
De Kindertelefoon
is now also available for mobile
callers through a
special 0900number.
TIMELINE
03
20
00
20
97
19
95
19
92
19
83
19
19
79
Founding of De
Kindertelefoon.
The first branch
was located
in Amsterdam
and in only a
few years 20
others were
established
throughout the
Netherlands,
each with its
own phone
number.
6 KT magazine
De Kindertelefoon
is keeping up-todate and opens
up a new channel.
Now children and
youth can talk to
counsellors not
only on the phone
but also through
online chat.
Founding of De
Kindertelefoon
Academy,
through which all
volunteers of De
Kindertelefoon
receive uniform
training.
Active referral is introduced: children
who find themselves in a threatening situation,
can – if they wish
so – be directly
referred from De
Kindertelefoon
to the Youth Care
department for
emergency care.
From now on De
Kindertelefoon can
be reached, free of
charge, from any
phone, landline
or mobile,
on 0800-0432.
Chatten
&
bellen
Feest!
30 jaar
The website of
De Kindertelefoon
gets a makeover
and the online forum is launched:
a safe environment for 13 to 18
year-olds to reach
out to each other.
Start-up pilot
peer2peer;
youth can talk
to someone
their own age
using online
chat.
13
20
12
20
20
11
09
20
08
20
07
20
05
20
De Kindertelefoon
is included in
the Children Act,
which means De
Kindertelefoon now
falls under the Bureau
of Youth Care. The
National Consultation
Kindertelefoons
merges into the
National Bureau
Kindertelefoon
(part of Youth Care
Netherlands).
First issue of
Kindertelefoon
Magazine.
Van 8
tot 18 jaar
0800 - 0432
(gratis)
Praten in
vertrouwen
7
Kijk op
6100-092 30jaar kindertelefoon Poster A3.indd 1
2/26/09 10:48:28 AM
34
years kindertelefoon
EMPOWERING
THE CHILD
text: Jan Pieter Ekker
Day in, day out the volunteers at De Kindertelefoon commit themselves
to supporting children and youth. For 34 years they have been
listening to children and youth of ages between 8 and 18, native or
immigrant, city dwellers or country folk. The volunteers give advice
on a thousand and one different subjects, ask questions, make
referrals or simply listen to children’s stories. During those 34 years De
Kindertelefoon has grown into a strong brand: 95 per cent of children
in the Netherlands have heard of us. What makes De Kindertelefoon so
powerful?
Rights of autonomous individuals
De Kindertelefoon was founded in the Year of the Child, 1979. It was a private undertaking, based on the
conviction that all children should be able to confidentially talk about their troubles. With this vision De
Kindertelefoon gives palpable substance to the Convention on the Rights of the Child (based on the Universal
Declaration of Human Rights). Articles 12, Respect for the Views of the Child and 13, Freedom of expression of
said Convention are of importance here. These articles state a child has the right to voice his or her opinion
on all matters that concern the child. And that it is the government’s duty to make sure the child indeed gets
a chance to do so and that they are being listened to. The right to freedom of expression also entails the
freedom to seek, receive and impart information and ideas, whilst respecting the rights of others. Taking this
into account, the foundation for De Kindertelefoon is formed by the notion that children are autonomous individuals who are able to devise their own solutions, make their own decisions and act upon these decisions.
8 KT magazine
Part of the Bureau of Youth Care
In the Netherlands, this responsibility is set out in the Youth Care
Act of 22 April 2004. This act establishes the right and access to,
and the funding of youth care. Article 10, sub c states that one of
the duties of the Bureau of Youth Care – within the boundaries set
by the province in the context of its subsidisation – is ‘provision of
advice to young people by volunteers in response to [telephone]
calls from young people with questions and problems’. Phoning
has been free of charge since 2009. The free help service’s right
to existence is thus documented in the law and is housed by the
Bureau of Youth Care.
One Kindertelefoon
Even though there are over 800 volunteers spread over 18 branches all around the country, there is just one phone number, one platform for online chat, one registration system and one website. In
short: one Kindertelefoon.
In 1979 De Kindertelefoon kicked off with the telephonic help service, and expanded by adding the website in 1995 and the online
chat in 2003. Since 2011 website visitors can pick their age category (8-12 y-o or 13-18 y-o) to enter a website that is cut to their
needs with a special ‘look & feel’. This way De Kindertelefoon can
connect with both groups optimally.
An important part of the website for 13 to 18 year-olds is the online
forum, where visitors can reach out to their peers. Youth post messages and give each other advice.
‘I showed myself on webcam to someone I don’t know… and couldn’t
see. I feel so guilty, I’m sure he didn’t see my face. But now he says
he did? It’s not possible! It keeps haunting me. What should I do??’
Anonymous, 13.
To ensure the online forum remains a safe environment, De
Kindertelefoon has trained volunteers to be moderators who make
sure there are no inappropriate or hurtful messages being posted.
The idea is that in the future the website will acquire a funnel-like
function; children and youth will first search the website for answers to their questions, and second they will decide whether they
would still like to use either the phone or online chat to contact a
counsellor at De Kindertelefoon.
Many subjects
Volunteers register which topics children contact De Kindertelefoon
about through phone or online chat. Nearly 60 per cent of the conversations centre around one of the following four subjects: sex, relationships, bullying and home & family life. For instance, youth
ask a lot about kissing, cuddling and caressing, but also about masturbation, making love, and oral sex. They talk about a relationship
that has ended, a friend being unwelcome with their family, or they
confide in the counsellor they don’t really have close friends. When
it comes to bullying, children and youth want to know how to put a
stop to it and how to deal with the situation, or they ask about the
differences between teasing and bullying. Home and family life is
also a very common subject; these conversations could centre on
parents arguing, common rules for adolescents or a brother or sister being favoured. Other topics are for instance the body, health,
puberty, abuse and violence, hobbies, alcohol and drugs, school
and jobs, feelings and emotional turmoil.
The different kinds of subjects children ring about or chat about
online, have been the same for years and are hardly influenced by
current affairs or issues that are being blown up by the media.
Anonymous
Anonymity is guaranteed, as the children and youth are not
obliged to provide their real name and De Kindertelefoon does
not trace calls. The downside of this is that repeat prank callers are hard to recognise. Whether or not a caller is pranking De
Kindertelefoon is not always easily spotted. Besides prankers, psychologically troubled adults and harassing callers, some children
keep quiet because they are anxious, or youth may make up a story
just to find out how the help service works exactly. This last group
does this largely because they have no knowledge on what De
Kindertelefoon is for. Giving guest lectures at schools (about 700
every year) is one of the ways in which De Kindertelefoon tries to
(…) For a few months now I’m being bullied in school.
KT Gosh, how horrible! What would you like this conversation with De Kindertelefoon to do for you?
I want them to stop bullying me.
KT As much as I would want to fix that for you, I’m afraid
there isn’t a clear-cut solution for this. What we could do
is think about ways for you to make this situation a bit
better. What would you like to say to those bullies?
The things they say are stupid and they should mind
their own business.
KT Sounds good.
But then they’ll start calling me names again.
KT Hmm, good point. Maybe if you tried saying it a bit
differently?
How?
KT How about ‘that’s your opinion, I don’t have a problem
with it and if you do, then that’s yours to deal with’. What
do you think?
I could totally try that!
KT Good on you! When are you planning on telling them?
Probably tomorrow, when I see them at school.
KT Sounds like a plan. Thanks for ringing.
Thank you!
9
‘I showed myself on
webcam to someone
I don’t know… and
couldn’t see. I feel so
guilty, I’m sure he didn’t see my face. But
now he says he did? It’s
not possible! It keeps
haunting me. What
should I do??’
Anonymous, 13
10 KT magazine
Foto: Catherine Coumou
KT You’ve reached De Kindertelefoon, Maartje speaking.
Hello...
KT Would you like to tell me something or ask a question?
I’m afraid my parents are going to get a divorce.
KT Oh my, that’s a big deal!
What makes you think they will?
They have been arguing a lot or sometimes they go
ages without speaking to each other at all and now I
heard my mum tell my auntie she can’t take it anymore
and she wants out.
KT Wow. How did it make you feel, hearing that?
Terrible.
KT I can imagine. What an awful situation. Have your
parents mentioned anything about this to you before?
No, they don’t tell me anything. I hear them argue
when I’m in bed and I cry.
KT So this makes you feel sad?
Yes, very.
parents or others around them. Empowerment of the child is key.
De Kindertelefoon takes children seriously; they are viewed as autonomous individuals who are capable of devising their own solutions and of making decisions and acting accordingly.
EMPOWERING THE
CHILD, THEREIN LIES
THE POWER OF DE
KINDERTELEFOON.
change this. In extreme situations, like when dealing with abuse
or severe emotional issues, the anonymity may be lifted, but only
if the child chooses to do so. If they disclose their name, after they
have been fully informed of the consequences, a conference call
may then be set up to directly refer the caller on to the Bureau of
Youth Care.
Professional
Every volunteer, from any one of the branches, speaks to every
child in the same, professional manner. Volunteers throughout
the country receive the same training. A lot of work has gone into
this training over the past few years. All conversations with De
Kindertelefoon follow the so-called ‘five phases model’. This model,
based on scientific research, was developed by De Kindertelefoon
to be able to service the child as well as possible.* Research conducted by the Kohnstamm Institute has proven the conversational
methods of De Kindertelefoon to be effective.
* In the article ‘The Professional Volunteer’ (page 22) this five step
model is discussed further.
Empowerment
Hard figures on the effectiveness of De Kindertelefoon do not exist,
because the anonymity and confidentiality restrict us from following up on a child to measure the outcome. Then again, hard figures are not necessary; the power of De Kindertelefoon lies in the
simple notion of providing an accessible place for children to talk
about subjects they dare not, cannot or will not discuss with their
THE NUMBERS:
• Over 400.000 phone calls every year, just under 1100 calls a day
• Over 110.000 online chats every year
• Almost 1.7 million page views on the
website, with 419.000 unique visitors
• Open 7 days a week from 2 to 8 pm,
all year round
• 800 volunteers, professionally trained
• 60 % of the conversations are about
relationships, sex, bullying and home & family life
11
MEMORIES
of De Kindertelefoon
text: Julie de Graaf | images: private archives interviewees
For the past 34 years De Kindertelefoon has been the place where children and
youth can anonymously get things off their chest. Kindertelefoon Magazine had
reporter Julie de Graaf search for people who rang at some point in those 34 years.
How do they look back on their experience with De Kindertelefoon?
Janneke (1966)
RANG DE KINDERTELEFOON IN 1979
I
rung only once and I remember very well: I
was 12 years old, I had just started secondary school and my parents went on a week’s
holiday without the kids for the very first
time. My little brother and sister stayed at our
grandparents’ and I stayed with my aunt and
uncle. In that week a boy from the group I biked
the 12 kilometres to school with every day,
died. Doing the odd job at a mill he got hit by
one of the sails and died instantly. I didn’t know
him very well, but I did have a secret crush on
him. When I heard of his death, I was very confused and completely distraught. This was the
first death of someone my own age and what’s
more: I really liked him. I didn’t know whether
or not to attend his funeral. I didn’t want to
phone my parents because then they would
worry about me whilst on holiday, but neither
did I dare talk about it to my aunt and uncle
because I felt so confused about it all. This was
when I rang De Kindertelefoon.
Before ringing I was dead nervous. I had heard
about De Kindertelefoon through an ad in a
girls’ magazine, but I wasn’t sure if this was
something I was allowed to phone about. I’m
happy to say it was a great conversation. I think
I started crying right away, but the counsellor
was nice and she quickly comforted me. We
12 KT magazine
’’
After hanging up
I felt tingly all over
from excitement
and relief
talked about the boy’s death and about my
feelings. She said no one would think it weird
if I went to his funeral and that you could also
go to a funeral, even if you didn’t know the person very well. This was very important for me to
hear. She also emphasized I should tell my aunt
and uncle what had happened, so I would get
some support. After hanging up I felt tingly all
over with excitement and relief; I was so happy
it had been okay for me to call and how special it was to have felt so safe with a complete
stranger, a safety at that moment I found nowhere else. I followed her advice and that same
day I talked to my uncle, who responded very
well. He went with me to the funeral later that
week.
My children are now 11 and 13 and they know
of De Kindertelefoon. I would be very supportive if they wanted to phone if they had
something troubling them, because I know De
Kindertelefoon is a neutral third party. Also I
know from experience this doesn’t mean they
don’t trust me, but sometimes it can be nice
to discuss something with someone you don’t
know.
Joris (1970)
RANG de Kindertelefoon in 1982
When
I was 11 I fell
in love with a
girl. And after
that, with her brother. I only realised it was not
“normal” to like boys when I told the girl I also
fancied her brother and she got angry with me.
She then proceeded to tell anyone and everyone
I was a “gay fag”. This was the start of a period
of confusion in which I struggled for a long time
with discovering my true identity.
In the early eighties it was all the rage for youth
to discuss their problems, so I had an array of
places where I could do so. There were radio
shows you could phone in to for advice, but also
telephonic helplines such as Korrelatie, the Gay
& Lesbian Switchboard and of course De Kindertelefoon. I read about De Kindertelefoon in the
Taptoe, a children’s magazine I was subscribed
to. The existence alone of a phone line devised
specially for children where I could anonymously tell my story was a great relief to me. One day
when I was home alone, I phoned. I would have
been 12 or 13 years old and I was looking for
confirmation there were more people like me.
Also I was full of questions: What will this mean
for the rest of my life? How will things fare with
me? How will I find a boyfriend? How will I tell my
parents? With De Kindertelefoon I was able to
voice my distress. I don’t remember a lot about
the conversation itself other than it being a great
comfort to talk to someone in confidence. That
alone is worth the world when you are feeling so
low. The feeling I was left with afterwards was a
feeling of encouragement. The counsellor really
tried to encourage me to tell my parents about
it, so I would see the world wasn’t going to end
on doing that. This was easier said than done, as
I got caught up in an identity crisis for years and
it even had me fall into depression.
Even though my parents are fairly open minded
and I could have known they would never disapprove of this, it took me a very long time to
be able to come out. Not before I was 19 did I
have a breakthrough and I told my best friend.
That moment a heavy weight was lifted from my
shoulders. After that, the ball started rolling and
suddenly my problem was solved.
’’
With De Kindertelefoon I was able to
voice my distress.
I don’t remember
a lot about the
conversation itself
other than it being
a great comfort to
talk to someone in
confidence
Ellen (1970)
rang ON A REGULAR BASIS
BETWEEN 1980 AND 1982
’’
First I would get
things off my
chest about the
bullying and then
I would talk about
fun things I did
In
primary school I was bullied a lot and felt very insecure about myself. In
our class it was “cool” to wait for someone after school and beat them
up, which caused me to be afraid in school and too scared to go home.
My family didn’t give me much support. “Hit as hard as you can” and
“You must be bringing this on yourself” is what my parents told me. In school the
bullying did get noticed, but they didn’t really take it seriously. It was an awful time
13
’’
Children’s
need to be
heard will
never go
away
during which luckily I was able to tell
my story to De Kindertelefoon. I rang
on a regular basis and after a while I
knew exactly which Kindertelefoon
branch I liked talking to most. Back
then the different branches had different phone numbers and I tried almost
all of them. The conversations meant a lot to me because I was being heard and taken seriously. Those were lonely times for me and
I used to really look forward to phoning. First I would get things off
my chest about the bullying and then I would talk about fun things
I did; going swimming or spending the night at my grandparents’. I
did this from when I was ten to about twelve, until one day my dad
blew a fuse about the mysteriously high phone bills. Around that
time my parents got divorced and my mother quit her job, which
meant she was always at home, so I couldn’t ring anymore. Luckily
I felt less and less in need of contacting De Kindertelefoon, because
I changed schools, made friends and felt less lonely.
At the age of twenty I saw an ad in the paper that stated De Kindertelefoon near where I lived was looking for volunteers. I applied
immediately and for four lovely years I listened to children and offered them advice. During those years I fought hard for De Kindertelefoon to become free of charge. I am happy this is now the case
and that the number does not show up on parents’ phone bills.
Now De Kindertelefoon really is accessible for everyone.
At the moment I am very happy volunteering for the National Client Forum Youth Care, but I don’t rule out someday returning to
De Kindertelefoon. When I talk to troublesome youth I always
tell them about De Kindertelefoon and the options to talk on the
phone or online chat. I think children’s need to be heard will never
go away and thus I feel very warmly towards De Kindertelefoon.
Marleen (1989)
rang De Kindertelefoon in 2000
My
parents were smokers
and from a very young
age that bothered me
a lot. I was quite vocal
and creative in my protest: I made drawings
of half-dead people with cigarettes still in their
hands, made my own “no smoking” signs and
put them up all around the house and I cut
their cigarettes in half or stuck them in a glass
of water. If I saw my parents smoking I would
get very enraged, especially if they tried to
light up in secret. I was quite militant, but it really was a serious source of frustration.
When I was 9 or 10 I rang De Kindertelefoon
about this one afternoon when I was at a
friend’s house. I didn’t expect De Kindertelefoon to make my parents stop smoking, but I
did like the idea of being able to tell someone
my story. I remember I wasn’t apprehensive
of phoning; I found it rather cool to go tell on
my naughty parents. I recall talking to a nice
young lady who had the sweetest voice. She
was a good listener and she gave me tons of
tips, all of them things I had of course already
tried, but she did make me feel supported. It
meant a lot to me that for once an adult was
on my side. After I hung up I was very happy:
’’
14 KT magazine
After I hung up I
was very happy:
I felt consolidated
and understood
I felt consolidated and understood. Too bad the
conversation in the end didn’t help me with my
problem. I continued on in my anti-smoking
protest, but it’s now 13 years later and my parents still smoke…
How it all got started
1979
was the international Year of the Child and the year that
De Kindertelefoon was founded. One of the founders was
Denny Mouqué. She tells us about the very first start of the organisation
and what surprises the first volunteers were to encounter.
Text: Catherine Coumou | Images: private archive of Denny Mouqué
‘Discovering together how to reach
out to children’,
said the ad in the Volks
krant. I had just finished
my degree in Special
Education and this
sounded just right. I
responded and with a
group of four we got stuck in right away. Back then children did
not have many places to turn to with questions and troubles. There
was the Youth Advice Centre for severely troublesome youth, and
there were the so-called runaway homes for children who were not
able to stay at home any longer. But we wanted to create a place
where children could swiftly and easily ask for help in all types of
situations. The need for it to be a phone service was clear to us from
the start. We felt calling would be most anonymous and accessible.
And we wanted to reach as many youth as possible. A phone line
would simply appeal to many more youth than a centre for them
to visit.
With our little group we started looking at what was needed and
what we could do to set up such a phone line. We visited the existing help line for adults to see how that worked exactly. Then we
mapped out the local youth services, we found out how we could
offer volunteers training in conversational techniques, and we set
up a foundation so we would be eligible for funding. Clearly a lot
of work was involved. Soon we started receiving financial support
from organisations such as Children’s Stamps and Jantje Beton.
Now we were able to rent a space in the Jordaan in Amsterdam
and we bought the first telephones. And so we started in 1979 with
about twelve volunteers. Even then the majority of volunteers were
students in Psychology or other social studies. De Kindertelefoon
was not yet free of charge, but we were able to phone back children
who rang from a phone box.
child can ring, with whatever question they have. There has to be
room for joking around and we always remain friendly!
What astounded us were the phone calls about sexual abuse. In
those days this was quite an unknown problem. De Kindertelefoon
took on a signal function. We worked in collaboration with the
Children’s Law Centre to gain notoriety for this issue, but also to
give children ways to defend themselves against sexual abuse and
to express themselves. This was the start of referring children to
social workers.
I ended up working for De Kindertelefoon for eight years and loving it, until I was ready for a new challenge. I am still very proud of
De Kindertelefoon and of the fact that there are still so many children contacting the volunteers over the phone and online chat.
Even though access to information is now much more widespread
because of the Internet, De Kindertelefoon remains of great worth.
It turns out De Kindertelefoon filled a gap in the market!
‘We hardly had to
do anything to get
positive publicity‘
It was wonderful how much support and PR we received. The national and the youth news approached us on a regular basis and
we hardly had to do anything to get positive publicity. It was such a
fun time with a very enthusiastic action group. Our motto was: Any
15
VOLUNTEER IN FOCUS
who Nourdin
where Utrecht
Nourdin (1977) has been a volunteer
with De Kindertelefoon in Utrecht for
6 years. In his daily life he is a social
worker with the homeless.
why volunteer | I feel it is important to
be of meaning to children and I was looking for a volunteering job where I would be
able to achieve just that. When i applied De
Kindertelefoon was actively recruiting male
volunteers and volunteers of an immigrant
background, so I was very welcome indeed.
I find it very important that from my multicultural background I can explain things to
other volunteers, for instance why immigrant
children contact De Kindertelefoon a lot about
certain subjects. I also notice when immigrant
children call they are happy to hear I too come
from an international background. It creates a
bond.
memorable conversation | One conversation I can vividly remember, was one of
my first conversations at De Kindertelefoon.
A young boy rang from a phone box, crying,
because he had lost his mother’s purse while
doing some shopping. He was panicking. It
has always stuck with me how upset a child
can become from something as futile as losing
a purse. He was afraid he had disappointed
his mother and he did not dare go home. For
me it was lovely to be able to guide the child
through this disaster and help him regain
his confidence to then go home and tell his
mother.
text: Julie de Graaf
image: Bob Bronshoff
the phone room | The holidays are a very
special time with De Kindertelefoon. When
working on the Dutch holiday Sinterklaas, we
make a little party of it. We eat pepernoten
and taai-taai and we drink hot chocolate. At
Christmas time we have a tree with presents
underneath for all volunteers and on Valentine’s Day we delight in a chocolate fondue
during our shift. We enjoy these special days
together with the children who ring, but also
with each other.
16 KT magazine
M
any children all over the world can find a willing listener with telephonic
help services, free of charge. For an important part this is due to Child
Helpline International (CHI), an international network of 136 child helplines and a prominent advocate of children’s rights. Now what is exactly the importance of child helplines around the world? And what roll does De Kindertelefoon
play in this international network? Talking to Nenita la
Rose, Executive Director of Child Helpline International, the network organisation for child helplines.
Text: Catherine Coumou | Image: CHI
'You can’t solve all of it, but what
you can do, is help children be more
defensible.'
Empowerment
Child Helpline International was founded in 2003. The
initiative came from Child Helpline India. During a congress in Amsterdam 50 other helplines joined. Now the
count is at 136. The initiators felt the need for having
a platform where they could exchange knowledge and
experiences.
La Rose: ‘Our dream is for every country in the world to have a child
helpline, so all children everywhere can be heard and ask for help. A
child helpline is essential in warranting children’s rights. The most
glorious thing would be for us to become dispensable. Though
figures sadly show children’s problems are not diminishing. You
can’t solve all of it, but what you can do, is help children be more
defensible. Empower them, so if something happens to them, they
know: ‘This is not how it should be, I need to find someone to help
me get out of this situation.’’
The circumstances under which child helplines function
sometimes differ like day and night as do the (communicational) tools they use. So what is the overall binding
factor between child helplines?
‘All child helplines support the Rights of the Child, like the right to
respect for the views of the child and the right to freedom of expression (articles 12 and 13). Every child helpline aims for anonymous and easy access, but the conditions under which this can be
done do vary. For instance, in some countries it is very difficult to
warrant children’s anonymity and in other countries it is crucial for
children to be taken out of life-threatening situations immediately.
The availability to children free of charge and the outreaching nature of the organisations, those are the binding factors.’
Create a broad platform
An important task for CHI is setting up child helplines in
countries that do not yet have any. There is a lot of variation between these countries regarding available facilities and/ or political system. Tell us about setting up a
child helpline under these circumstances?
‘For setting up a child helpline we have developed a script in which
we have incorporated the experiences of other child helplines. The
first rule: involve anyone you can from political offices, youth, social institutions and police to NGOs. You visit phone companies
because children need to be able to ring free of charge. Start by
creating as broad a platform as possible. After that, the next step:
What do youth in our country need? The people who will be working at the helpline need to be trained. You map out to which organisations children can be referred who are physically hurt or
psychologically damaged, because you can’t leave them to fend
for themselves. So you see, child helplines never stand alone.’
17
interview
THE IMPORTANCE
of child helplines
‘half a million children in the Netherlands are
not doing well, that is just too many.’
International data helps
lobbying
This creates the basis for a new child
helpline, but the work doesn’t end there.
What else does CHI do for their members?
‘An important manner in which CHI supports
their members is through creating capacity enlargement. We achieve this by offering training
and through peer exchange, where members
visit each other and learn from one another.
This helps the organisations to develop further.
This peer exchange is of great importance:
each helpline has their own expertise for others to learn from. CHI collects data from all child
helplines. This data is a valuable instrument in
the protection of children. We incorporate this
data into rapports to take with us when lobbying with governments and international organisations. This way we point out trends and show
clearly what the main reasons are for children to
contact helplines the world over: information,
child abuse, neglect and psychological issues.
Through the years we have managed to start
up collaborations with important international
institutes, such as the European and the African
Union, the Arab League and the UN.’
WER
‘each helpline has
their own expertise
for others to learn
from’
The world wide network
of Child Helplines
The Global Network of Child Helpli
Full members*
119 members in 100 countries
International role Kindertelefoon
Kindertelefoon Netherlands is one of the
child helplines longest in existence and
has a large number of active, well-trained
volunteers. What role does De Kindertelefoon play within CHI’s network?
‘De Kindertelefoon has been very much involved right from the beginning and played
an important part in the formation of CHI. De
Kindertelefoon was founded as early as 1979
and since then, a wealth of knowledge has been
accumulated and shared with many different
countries. With Surinam, the Antilles and several
European countries De Kindertelefoon exchanges know-how and experiences. For instance, in
the Netherlands they are very good at volunteer
management. Also the Dutch helpline assisted
in devising CHI’s helpline script. This is used by
more or less all child helplines within our network.’
18 KT magazine
‘De Kindertelefoon
was founded as
early as 1979 and
since then, a wealth
of knowledge has
been accumulated
and shared with
many different
countries. ’
Countries with child helplines that fulfil the CHI membership crit
In the Netherlands there are dozens of organisations that focus on children’s wellbe• Albania
• France
•M
ing
and offer a place for youth
to turn to.
Then
what does an organisation
• Algeria
• Gambialike De
•M
Kindertelefoon
have
to
add?
And
what
pur• Argentina (2)
• Germany
•M
pose do you see De Kindertelefoon serve in
• Aruba
• Greece (2)
•M
the Netherlands, 2013?
• Australia
• Guinee Conakry
•M
‘The figures speak for themselves; in the past year
• Austria
Hong Kong,
•N
there
have been over a million• outreaches
to S.A.R.
De
Kindertelefoon.
Children are showing
there is a want
• Bangladesh
• Hungary
•N
and
a need for this, they need this
place where they
• Belgium
• Iceland
•N
can say what they like in confidence, without be• Bosnia Herzegovina • India
•N
ing judged or rejected. A recent rapport of Defence
• Botswana
• Indonesia
•N
for Children concludes half a million children in the
• Brazil (2)
• Iran
•N
Netherlands
are not doing well, that
is just too many.
• Brunei
• Ireland
• Pa
Every
child has the right to a carefree
childhood and
a humane
existence.
Until
we
reach
that
point,
De
• Burkina Faso
• Israel
• Pa
Kindertelefoon
still
has
a
lot
of
work
to
do.
Simple
as
• Cambodia
• Italy
• Pa
that.’
• Canada
• Chile
• China
• Colombia
• Japan
• Jordan
• Kazakhstan
• Kenya
• Pe
• Ph
• Po
• Po
Dis
ART.
12
Respect for the
views of the child
1. States Parties shall assure
to the child who is capable of
forming his or her own views
the right to express those
views freely in all matters
affecting the child, the views
of the child being given due
weight in accordance with the
age and maturity of the child.
RELDKAART
2. For this purpose, the child
shall in particular be provided
the opportunity to be heard
in any judicial and administrative proceedings affecting
the child, either directly, or
through a representative or an
appropriate body, in a manner
consistent with the procedural
rules of national law.
ART.
13
■ 119 members in 100 countries
ines: Membership
as of August 2012
■ 48 aspiring members in 42 countries
Associate members*
48 membersChild
in 42helplines
countries
are built
Countries that CHI is working
closely
to start
child helplines,
upon
thewith
United
Nations’
and that
fulfil the CHI associate membership criteria.
No longer is the telephone the only
means
of communication through which to reach
Convention on the Rights
Malaysia
Afghanistan
• Libya
youth, due •toSlovenia
the rise of social media.•How
of
the
Child;
especially
do you see •the
future
of child helplines?
Maldives
South
Africa
• Antigua, Barbuda
• Liechtenstein
have to follow in the development
Mauritius ‘Child helplines
• Spain
• Armenia
• Madagascar
on the following
articles:
of youth, because to be able to contact kids, first
Mexico (2)
• Sri Lanka (2)
• Azerbaijan article 12:
• Malta
(2)
‘The right to
you have to know how to reach them. This is why
Mongolia we need to involve
• St. Marten
• Mauritania
youth more in our work.• IBahrain
am
respect
for
the views of
amibia
• Suriname
Belarus (2)
• Mongolia
very enthusiastic
about De Kindertelefoon •starting up a peer•pilot
and them looking into guiding
epal
Swaziland
• Benin (2)
• Montenegro
the child’,
and article 13:
support and advise their peers
on
etherlands kids on how to
• Sweden
• Bhutan
•
Mozambique
‘The right to freedom of
love to introduce this type of
ew Zealand online
(3) chat. I•would
Switzerland
• Bolivia
• Panama
peer support with other child helplines. Projects
expression’.
igeria
• Taiwan, P.O.C.
• Bulgaria
• Sudan
like these are incredibly valuable for the future.’
• Tajikistan
• Thailand
• Togo
• Trinidad, Tobago
• U.S.A. (7)
• Uganda
• United Arab
Emirates Sharjah
• Cameroon
• Costa Rica
• Cote d’Ivore
• Democratic
Republic of Congo
(DRC)
• Ecuador
• El Salvador
Convention wording
Freedom of
expression
teria.
orway
akistan
alestine
araguay
eru
hilippines
oland (2)
ortugal
Convention definition
• Tunisia
• Turkey
• Ukraine
• United Arab
Emirates Abu
Dhabi
• U.S.A. (2)
• Uzbekistan
1. The child shall have the
right to freedom of expression; this right shall include
freedom to seek, receive and
impart information and ideas
of all kinds, regardless of frontiers, either orally, in writing
or in print, in the form of art,
or through any other media of
the child's choice.
2. The exercise of this right
may be subject to certain
restrictions, but these shall
only be such as are provided
by law and are necessary:
a) For respect of the rights or
reputations of others; or
b) For the protection of national security or of public order
(order public), or of public
health or morals.
19
CHI’s w
Conven
and pro
individ
and to
This re
the CH
The con
captur
by child
The pe
to a ma
As a re
to one
SURVEY
CHILDREN ON
CHILDREN’S RIGHTSare?
ights et almost all of
r
’s
n
e
r
t. Y
t child
concep
rote:
D
wha is a fairly abstract ce, Martijn (16) w ren.
w
o
n
k
ts”
tan
se “righ
o you
or child
. For ins
ant
ecau
ially f
c
at it me
e
stion, b
h
e
p
w
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a
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A tric
a
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,
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e rig
dren kn
the chil
reated
han ad
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r
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h
C
e
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“
y
not tak
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ay. The
ully
Childre a different w ause they can also able to beautif
re
c
think in om adults be younger children we out. Annabelle (11):
r
b
ferent f ves yet.”Slightly hildren’s rights are a ings and that
l
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themse eir own words what ave a say in th ) said: "To give
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in th
ALSO h to.” And Urgill (1 hem." Raay (11)
express
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“That c being listene to not abuse he wrote: “You t
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they ar freedom, and e very best answer, a or rights your
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childre een the one to give t ifferent word nd.” Well, he ha
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D
e Kindertelefoon stands for children’s rights, especially for children’s right to be heard and the
right to freedom of expression. These,
and other children’s rights have been
documented in the Convention on the
Rights of the Child (CRC, 1989). The
CRC was signed by almost all countries
in the world and creates the basis for
youth and family policy in the Netherlands. An important document, although
there will not be many children who
know all 54 articles by heart… This
made De Kindertelefoon wonder: Do
children even know what their rights
are? We asked 40 children between the
ages of 9 and 16.
g
meanin
ibe the
r
c
s
e
d
o
e
k s”,
lt t
“cornfla
e difficu
o
it
t
u
y
q
ll
a
it
c
t
righ the children found od -and specifi s most often men’s
n
e
a point.
r
d
o
e
wo chisle even though many osf.. The right to f bused were the onto play outside
t
e
m
a
t
ea
pas
cau
un
Can yore it got interesting, bewhat the rights encome right not to sbt we forget, the rigahs often.
d
he
r on
and th school, and, le ts were not named ed at birth, an ed
This is w
ery clea
k
v
n
e
i
r
r
e
w
d
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am
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s, they
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of right
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t
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fsan (10
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ss
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llowed b
1 CRC: R
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3
fo
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le
ly
c
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t
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y
v
ff, S
Clo
t, A
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tioned.
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a
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s
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.
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,
g
w
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which
room y somethin dit”, says Shiloh,
ht to
n
g
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e to writ
r
w
n
(a right
o
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ly
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t
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was the
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and th e phone (“with ten included in the CR
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And Lisa
’s
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feel like
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Who doNetherlands?st diverse answers. Dne t and the ChilMdajesty the Queen, singby mothers an
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N
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“fam
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20 KT magazine
, You
fathers
PARTNERS IN COLLABORATION
IN THE BATTLE FOR
CHILDREN’S RIGHTS
De Kindertelefoon is not the only organisation that stands for the rights
of children in the Netherlands. We asked the Children’s Ombudsman, UNICEF and
Defence for Children how they defend children’s rights.
‘There is something strange about children’s rights. Ask anyone and they will tell you it is a disgrace if children’s rights are breached. And
yet breaching of children’s rights is an everyday affair. Even today, even in the Netherlands. The Children’s Ombudsman sees to it that the
government adheres to children’s rights in the Netherlands. He also does this with educational organisations, organisations in childcare,
youth care and in health care. He attempts to find structural solutions for problems to do with rights of children. It is important for both
adults and children to know what children’s rights are. De Kindertelefoon plays an important part in creating more awareness in this.’
‘UNICEF’s work is focused on improving children’s living conditions anywhere in the world. This takes shape in several ways. UNICEF
is a children’s rights organisation, but also an aid organisation and an emergency aid organisation. UNICEF’s work is based upon the
Convention on the Rights of the Child. This convention has mapped the participatory rights of children: the right to information, the right
to form an opinion and the right to be able to voice this opinion. The work De Kindertelefoon does is closely linked to these rights. De
Kindertelefoon lets children speak of their worries and ideas and it gives them the information they need. The conversations children have
with De Kindertelefoon give us insight into the current subjects and concerns in children’s lives. We can use this insight to try and better
children’s living conditions even further.’
‘Defence for Children stands up for the rights of children in and outside the Netherlands. We bring children’s rights into the limelight of
politics and society. Through research, lobbying and the dispersion of knowledge, especially with professionals, we try to strengthen the
implementation of children’s rights. And sometimes, if needed, we step into action. Defence for Children holds De Kindertelefoon highly
because this organisation provides children with a direct way to voice their opinions and to be heard. The volunteers at De Kindertelefoon
are well equipped for communicating with children. Children receive information and are referred to the correct source of help. The work
De Kindertelefoon does attributes to a child’s safe and sound development. This shows the Convention on the Rights of the Child being
put to good practical use.’
21
The professional volunteer
Listening to children and youth is a profession in its own right. Volunteers who work as
counsellors at De Kindertelefoon are professionals. They have been selected on account
of their open attitude and their desire to really make a difference for children and youth.
Moreover, anyone who wants to start work at
De Kindertelefoon receives extensive training
with extensive attention for conversational
techniques.
Guidance
Induction training
Becoming a volunteer
All aspiring counsellors follow the same induction training, offered at every branch by certified trainers. The development of this nationwide
wrap
training is based on the idea that from
up
wherever a conversation takes place,
the methods of De Kindertelefoon
should be the same. Aspiring
counsellors get to know
the basic principles of De
Kindertelefoon, but also how
to deal with their own opinions and how to set boundarelaborate
4
ies when talking to children
on goal
and youth.
During the training the aspiring counsellors get assigned a
mentor; a seasoned volunteer and counsellor who has been
trained by De Kindertelefoon to function as a supervisor. Mentors
guide the aspiring counsellors on their first shifts working on the
phone and online chat, they answer questions and offer tips and
feedback. After completing the mentor-guided shifts and the induction training, the new volunteer has officially graduated and
has become a full-fledged counsellor. This does not mean the
volunteer is done learning. De Kindertelefoon organises all sorts
of follow-up training, evaluation talks and peer-to-peer training
nights to make sure our counsellors keep on developing.
make
contact
5 1
professional
volunteer
five phases
model
Stimulating personal
solutions
There are different ways in which potential volunteers can come into contact with the work of
De Kindertelefoon. Maybe they rang up
themselves when they were young, or
they would like to gain experience in
working with children and youth in
light of their course work or professional career. Some encounter De Kindertelefoon because
they have a friend who is one
of our many counsellors, or
the they hear of our recruitment
2 clarify
situation drives. Others find out about
us when actively searching
for a few hours a week volunteering job. Add up all these
different channels and it’s not
surprising every year there are
hundreds of aspiring volunteers
who apply through the online form
on the website of De Kindertelefoon.
An important part of the induc3
tion training is the five phases
model. De Kindertelefoon created
determine
child’s goal
this model based upon scientific studies. In this, every conversation is seen to
consist of five phases: making contact, clarifying
Procedures
the child’s story by asking questions, determining what
Aspiring volunteers apply to De Kindertelefoon branch
the child’s goal is, elaborating on this goal and wrapping up the
closest to their place of residence. De Kindertelefoon looks for
conversation. This model fits seamlessly with De Kindertelefoon’s
people willing to talk about anything children and youth between
vision that the children and youth are to hold the reigns of the conthe ages of 8 and 18 are concerned with and who are willing to
versation and develope their own solutions. The method of the
truly listen to them, without enforcing their own opinions. If we
five phases model ensures the volunteers connect with the child
think someone fits the bill, we invite him or her to a selection interand their story as well as possible. Within this model the counselview or even a complete selection weekend. During the selection
lor is able to take the child’s story seriously, show involvement
process we discuss practical issues, we practice through roll play
and encourage self-reliance. Besides these main conversational
to see how a person behaves when talking to a child and we also
techniques the training also focuses on the differences between
hear about what motivates them to want to be a volunteer with De
phone and online chat and on a number of important subjects De
Kindertelefoon. If they receive a positive assessment the aspiring
Kindertelefoon often deals with, such as child abuse, bullying and
counsellor is invited to take part in the induction training offered
sex.
by De Kindertelefoon. When signing the contract, we expect the
new volunteer to be of intention to work for De Kindertelefoon
for at least a year to come. Needless to say a Certificate of Good
Conduct is mandatory as is signing a statement of non-disclosure.
22 KT magazine
23
VOLUNTEER IN FOCUS
who Aileen
where Eindhoven
Aileen (1991) has been a volunteer
with De Kindertelefoon in Eindhoven for 2,5 years. She has just
graduated in Applied Psychology
and is looking for a job.
why volunteer | As a child I used to see a
lot of ads for De Kindertelefoon and I would
be in complete admiration of the people who
worked there. I fancied doing that myself as a
grown-up! As soon as I reached 18 I applied.
The connection to the children is very special
to me. Because of the anonymity, they tell
you things they would otherwise never share
with anyone. The connection I share with my
colleagues is also very enjoyable, that makes
it even more worthwile to be a volunteer.
memorable conversation | My first
grave conversation was with a girl who was
being sexually abused by her parents. The
abuse had been going on for such a long time
it was normal to her. I’m glad I was able to tell
her that abuse is not normal and I encouraged
her to seek help. We talked for a long time
and we both had difficulty hanging up. You
wish you could go rescue that child and take
away her problems, but that is just not how it
works at De Kindertelefoon. After such an intense converstaion a volunteer should realise:
I did everything I could and the child was able
to tell her story, which of itself is a great thing.
the phone room | In Eindhoven we work
in a small team of volunteers, so all of us know
each other. On signing up for shifts, I check
the roster to see whom I haven’t seen in a
while and sign myself up to work with them.
I love hearing other volunteers talk on the
phone. I listen to the jokes they make when
children prank call, or to the things they say in
grave conversations: there is something to be
learned form each and every one of them.
24 KT magazine
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WHAT DOES
DE KINDERTELEFOON
DO ONLINE?
ONLINE CHAT with
de Kindertelefoon
•
•
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1-to-1 chat conversation with counsellor
Over 110,000 kids on online chat in 2012
Mostly youth between 12 and 15 years old Anonymous, every day from 2 to 8 p.m.
Over the course of a few years the online chat has grown into an indispensible part of what De Kindertelefoon has to offer. It has been available from 2003. De Kindertelefoon was the first organisation in the Netherlands to use online chat to offer children one-on-one conversations. For children who use the online
chat, doing so is a conscious choice, we found. Some children prefer the other not to be able to hear their
voice; they won’t be heard crying, and there is no eavesdropping. Anita Joosstens (coordinator with De Kindertelefoon in Amsterdam) and Iris Uffen (student specialising in Special Education and volunteer with De
Kindertelefoon in Groningen) talk about their experiences with the online chat.
25
Iris: ‘Before I became a volunteer I figured online chat would be
easier than phone, but without the aid of intonation you have to
choose your words very carefully. On the phone when something
comes across wrong, you can respond to that. This is much more
difficult online. If I think I am being miscomprehended, I try to right
this by denominating it through saying something like: ‘I feel we’re
not really on the same page here. Would you agree?’’
Anita: ‘The advantage online chat has over telephone calls is the
higher lever of anonymity. But it also creates a gap: you can’t hear
them, all you get is written words. There aren’t as many ways of
checking how the child is doing, so you look for new ways of finding the child’s emotions in their text. For instance through the use
of emoticons, symbols such as a smiley to reflect emotions. Use
those creatively and a lot can be achieved.’
Iris: ‘In the beginning I was afraid I would have difficulty keeping
my distance from certain problems, but I am able to focus on the
positives in a conversation. Issues discussed on the online chat are
often of a serious nature. Any problem you can think of I have come
across, from abuse, to suicidal tendencies and self-harm.’
Anita: ‘To ensure counsellors are able to deal with this, they are
obliged to take part in peer group guidance to look more closely
at their work. What went well during your conversations and what
didn’t? It is important to share this with each other and to feel you
have a team backing you, as it is often a story of injustice a child will
tell you, which can really get to you.’
Iris: ‘The official max for a chat conversation is 30 minutes, but
sometimes it’s difficult to stick to that. With grave matters a conversation often lasts longer than half an hour. Sometimes it’s the
first time for a child to talk about a severe issue and you can tell if
you carry on too long, it is very tiring for them. Then it’s good to
set boundaries and say to a child: ‘We have been talking for quite
Anita Joosstens
a while now. Maybe you would like to think about it for a bit and
come back another time?’’
Anita: ‘Teaching digital conversation skills is essential. On the
phone, you can let the five phases of our model come along fairly
naturally, but with online chat this would take up to an hour and
a half! Online, summarising should be done sooner than on the
phone. The pitfall of online chat is not to get to the core of things.
Therefore we tell our volunteers: ‘Be concise. Use 4 instead of 20
words per sentence.’ If you yourself use a lot of commas, you roll
out the red carpet for the child to do the same. Be firm and handson in structuring the conversation.’
‘Before I became
a volunteer I
figured online
chat would be
easier than
phone, but
without the aid
of intonation you
have to choose
your words very
carefully’
Iris Uffen
26 KT magazine
THE ONLINE FORUM
of de Kindertelefoon
•
•
•
•
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Anyone can respond to a post
De Kindertelefoon functions as a moderator
Over 1.6 million unique page views in 2012
8.000 users a month
The forum is for 13 to 19 year-olds and is available 24/7
On the online forum of De Kindertelefoon kids can have discussions, ask each other questions and offer tips
and advice to one another. The connection youth find amongst themselves is what makes the forum powerful: young people want to kick around with peers, research shows. Through intensive moderation, welltrained volunteers at De Kindertelefoon make sure the forum is safe. Mariëlla Melissen (coordinator with De
Kindertelefoon in Nijmegen) and Steffie Ballemans (volunteer with De Kindertelefoon in Eindhoven) explain
how the online forum works.
Mariëlla Melissen and Steffie Ballemans
27
‘A big advantage of the forum
is the discussions stay visible
online’
In general the issues discussed on the forum are not the gravest ones. Severe matters are taken up with a counsellor at De
Kindertelefoon. Steffie says it is a misconception though to think
there are only light-hearted subjects discussed on the forum: “I notice there is a group of youth who visit the forum about issues such
as self-harm. Calling means you will have to face up to another person, so these kids find their place on the forum.”
Online safety is the number one priority
Steffie: “Of course youth are subject to all kinds of danger on the
Internet. With the online forum De Kindertelefoon creates a safe
environment in which young people can find support with one another.” The rising number of visitors makes moderating more and
more complicated. Posts with abusive language are taken down,
as are the ones with adults trying to contact kids. Mariëlla explains:
“If we see an adult posing as a youth and posting contact details,
clearly we delete this as quickly as possible. For this reason we also
moderate late at night. This way it’s impossible for such a post to
stay up for long. Also we make sure the people posting those messages are banned from the forum.”
Youth helping one another
Youth can only post on the online forum after they have signed
up. Depending on the amount of posts they have contributed,
they receive a qualification next to their (anonymous) user name
such as ‘knows their way around’ and ‘is really involved’. This way
active kids who participate a lot can gain appreciation and status.
Another big advantage of the forum is the discussions stay visible
online and can be viewed by the person who initially sought help,
but also by others whom are in a similar situation. Quite a lot of
work goes into ensuring the forum discussion’s traceability, says
Steffie. “The moderators label forum discussions with tags, such as
‘friendships’, ‘falling out’ and ‘making up’, so kids can easily trace
a discussion. To be thorough in this as a moderator takes up a lot
of time.”
Moderators
A team of volunteers and coordinators moderates the online forum
intensively to warrant the youth’s safety and privacy. In principle,
moderators do not post reactions themselves. Only if necessary, De
Kindertelefoon will respond referring to the phone or online chat,
for instance when a child is in urgent danger. Youth themselves
form the discussions on the forum.
Mariella: “Kids are restricted from putting up photos of themselves, or e-mail addresses. The forum has to be as anonymous as
possible. Therefore they aren’t allowed to tell what school they go
to or message each other in private. This is not to limit the youth,
but we do want to thwart online bullying and the risk of predators.”
The aim of the forum is for youth to help each other. Steffie says:
“This is why we remove abusive posts or responses with excessively negative advice. These kinds of reactions aren’t of any help.”
28 KT magazine
‘Youth are subject to all kinds
of danger on the Internet.
With the online forum De
Kindertelefoon creates a safe
digital environment’
the Peer2peer chat
of de Kindertelefoon
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1-to-1 contact with a peer
De Kindertelefoon coaches the peer volunteers
Every day from 6 to 8 p.m.
The pilot project has been running since March 2012
40 trained peer volunteers throughout the country so far
During puberty, other youths’ opinions matter a
great deal. But it can be hard asking friends for
their opinions. This is why since March 2012 De
Kindertelefoon has the option of talking to peers
online with the peer2peer chat. On the website of
De Kindertelefoon the adolescent chooses whether
they want to chat to a peer (another adolescent) or
a professional counsellor. The opening hours of the
peer chat are Monday through Friday, 6 to 8 p.m.
The peers are 16 to 20 years old and are trained by
De Kindertelefoon. Although the peer2peer project is still in the pilot phase, it is proving a popular
channel and attracts a lot of activity. Nikki Stijl, peer
volunteer in Rotterdam, Angelica van Merkenstein,
peer coach in Alkmaar, and Susanne ten Cate, coordinator with De Kindertelefoon in Overijssel, have
been involved with the pilot from the beginning.
‘‘Youth mainly want to know
how other young people view
their problem or question’
Susanne ten Cate
29
Susanna:“Youth who visit the website for a peer chat are much
less looking for a solution than the ones in a ‘regular’ chat with
De Kindertelefoon. They mainly want to know how other young
people view their problem or question and are truly looking for an
opinion. Unlike the adult volunteers, the peer volunteer may voice
their opinion. Also talking about own experiences is encouraged.
For instance one of our peer volunteers who is gay has had numerous conversations in which he could speak from own experience
on how he handles his sexuality. This is the strength of the peer2peer channel; coming from equal ground.
Peer volunteers have to have a strong personality and not be afraid
to talk about themselves. Youth want to know a lot of personal
things. ‘What do you think? Have you ever gone through this?’ A
peer should be able and willing to talk about this. Coaching the
peer volunteers we make sure they do not cross their own boundaries.”
Angelica van Merkenstein
I found that to be very instructive. Only if a youth asks me a specific
question, I will answer. This way I don’t tell them anything I’m not
comfortable with telling.
I learn a lot from this. I notice my reflection skills have vastly improved and I am easily able to apply the conversational techniques
of De Kindertelefoon. I do feel I need to get onto the chat on a regular basis, because I can feel a bit insecure about my chats if I haven’t
been on for a while. Most conversations make me feel good, but the
ones about bullying do tend to get to me. Luckily not too much for
me to handle.”
Nikki Stijl
‘The difference from adults
would be that us youngsters
communicate differently, much
more chilled out’
Nikki: “A year ago my brother’s girlfriend put me in contact with
De Kindertelefoon. I was too young to become a counsellor, but I
could join the peer pilot. The difference from adults would be that
us youngsters communicate differently, much more chilled out. I
use the same social media as the kids I talk to, like MSN Messenger,
so I understand their social network and customs. Youth often ask
me my age, they are happy it’s close to theirs.
The first time young people asked me questions about sex was
kind of weird. But in training we learned how to deal with this. For
instance, ask yourself: Does he or she really want to know this?
30 KT magazine
Angelica: “Last year I saw the recruitment call for peer coaches. I
am easily excited by new ideas and I love working with young people. On meeting the group of peer volunteers I felt an instant click.
In Alkmaar we now have six peer volunteers of whom I coach two.
As a peer coach I feel it is important to ask my peer volunteers what
they want to work on. ‘What do you find difficult? What would you
like me to keep an eye on?’ This helps them develop as counsellors.
It is beautiful witnessing that development and I see them feeling
more and more sure of themselves. A number of them are now even
considering becoming a counsellor with De Kindertelefoon.
With difficult conversations you can’t throw a peer volunteer in at
the deep end. With severe issues, such as abuse or suicidal tendencies, the coach sits with the volunteer and if necessary, will take
over the conversation. For instance, with a conversation on suicide
one peer volunteer said: “I don’t want to take on responsibility for
this, what if I say something wrong?” A peer volunteer should have
the liberty to say no to those sorts of chats.
As a peer coach I step in if a peer volunteer crosses the boundaries
of De Kindertelefoon. As an adult counsellor you have to be very
restrained in sharing own experiences. For peer volunteers those
own experiences can be very useful in a conversation. The threshold between what is and what is not acceptable is much lower with
peers; it’s like talking to your friends. This is an absolute no-go as a
professional counsellor with De Kindertelefoon; the counsellors do
not act as friends, but as neutral listeners.”
VOLUNTEER IN FOCUS
who Trijntje
where Utrecht
Trijntje (1955) has been a volunteer with
De Kindertelefoon in Utrecht for 7 years.
She was trained as a professor in Literary
Education, but currently works as a coordinator with the organisation Dress for
Success. Trijntje also hosts workshops in
creative writing.
why volunteer | After wanting to be a volunteer
with De Kindertelefoon for a long time it finally happened seven years ago, when my children left home.
I really enjoy listening to children and engaging in
conversation with them on a basis of equality. De
Kindertelefoon fits right in with this concept. If you
keep in contact with children, you also keep alive the
child within yourself, so you retain your flexibility,
open mind and frankness. I love children because
they are pure; they have not yet learnt all there is to
learn and sometimes just muck about. That is inspirational to me.
memorable conversation | An online chat with
a girl of about 14 years old. She was feeling low and
started out very withdrawn and shy. Even though it
seemed it would be a heavy chat, I could make little
jokes from time to time to cheer her up a bit. Then
something special happened: we clicked. It was just
like she was sitting next to me and we fully understood each other. The conversation thawed, which
gave me the chance to help her feel a bit better. Not
that her problem was now magically solved, but it
doesn’t have to be. With De Kindertelefoon children
can tell their stories and feel a bit lighter as a result.
It’s amazing if a conversation you have can create
that outcome.
Utrecht a few times a year we have a Hello and
Goodbye Party where we welcome new volunteers
and bid farewell to the ones who are moving on. This
collectiveness is very special and that is also felt in
the phone room. You can always share your experiences with other volunteers. For instance you might
be bummed out by a difficult phone call or maybe
you just had an amazing online chat. I think it’s lovely
we as volunteers also get to tell our stories.
31
the phone room | With De Kindertelefoon in
‘Youth continuously
focus on:
Who am I and how
do others view me?’
interview
text: Mijke de Hartog | image: Lionne Hietberg
The brain has been at the centre of attention for a number of years, as has
the adolescent brain. Yvonne van Sark and Huub Nelis wrote a book on it: Adolescent Brain Inside Out. Van Sark: ‘Youth are often subject of great claims; they
are said to be worldly-wise, digital natives and they should have no problem
multitasking. We on the other hand, felt adolescents are often being overloaded,
while their brains are still very much in development between the ages of 10
and 25 and have to process great amounts of stimuli.’ Van Sark talks about why
she and her colleague asked themselves whether society might be projecting
ideals onto youth.
‘Huub Nelis and I work with YoungWorks, a bureau for youth communications. YoungWorks researches youth between the ages of
10 and 25, and develops projects and campaigns for this group.
Because science is experiencing exciting times, we discussed brain
research findings in the talks we were doing. The audience was
captivated. We wrote Adolescent Brain Inside Out to educate parents, guardians and teachers on how the adolescent brain works,
so they can better support them in their development.’
Rules
‘In Dutch families rules are often up for discussion, you talk everything through with one another and the rules are set in concordance. Adolescents have become more vocal: parents, guardians
and teachers are more open to their arguments. At the same time
society assumes youth know exactly what they want, but is this really true? Youth often need more guidance and structure than we
think.’
32 KT magazine
On the search
‘Starting with puberty, youth slowly move towards leaving the parental home and they begin cultivating relations with others. In doing this they need a different social repertoire, they encounter first
boyfriends and girlfriends and also need to find acceptance with
others and develop friendships. During this time the adolescents
search for ways of associating with one another in an equal manner and for insight into their position towards youth outside their
friend group. This is what they are continuously focused on and
most often they have a large peer group to ‘practice’.’
Peers
‘Peers are people who find themselves in the same situation, in
non-hierarchic relation to each other. This excludes parent, teacher
or counsellor, as those positions hold a certain hierarchy, however
hard we pretend nowadays they do not. Peers are friends, classmates and teammates, but also people you meet through social
media but have maybe never acquainted in real life. One’s whole
congenial social network.’
New technology, new friends
‘These peers practice continuously with adolescents. This is a
universal, all-time truth. Only nowadays technology makes it
possible to go about this digitally, which is different from what
parents and teachers of today are used to. Many adults differentiate between online and offline friends, whilst youth do not.
But of course they do know the difference between real friends
and their 300 Facebook friends. They know which ones they
can truly be themselves with, with whom the friendship goes
deeper and which ones they only know superficially. Online
communication is extremely attractive to youth because it is
non-dependent on time and place; even outside of their parents’ consent they can chat to their friends endlessly.’
‘Nowadays there is a
great deal of suspicion against youth;
this is what we call
low trust. De Kindertelefoon is a place of high trust’
Self-presentation and self-disclosure
‘Online communication contributes to youth’s development.
On the one hand it is a matter of self-presentation, they think
about how they come across to others, for instance what profile
picture to put up on Facebook? On the other hand it is a question of self-disclosure: you show a bit of yourself and so do they.
This is based on reciprocity. Youth are very concerned with the
way things are supposed to be done; peer communication consists of a network of complex rules, even though for adolescents
this process is an unconscious one. Recent brain studies have
shown youth to continuously focus on: who am I and how do
others view me? The urge to know everything about everyone
has to do with social inclusion and exclusion, as a young person
you want desperately to be part of the conversation. Girls do
tend do be more actively involved in this than boys, boys tend
to mostly utilise their online time in playing computer games.’
Why De Kindertelefoon
‘I think it’s wonderful De Kindertelefoon has set up an online
chat function and online forum. It is always good to connect
with youth on their terrain. It is a general trend in our society, this individualisation: to seek help, we venture more and
more outside our own community, as we lose sight of whom
to pose our questions to; this goes for youth as well. In this De
Kindertelefoon proves to be a safe haven: here adolescents
are faced in a trusting manner, which cannot be said for many
places elsewhere in this society. Nowadays there is a great
deal of suspicion against youth; this is what we call low trust
in our book. De Kindertelefoon is a place of high trust; adolescents know this is where they can turn and feel welcome. De
Kindertelefoon exists in the interest of the child, the adolescent. I feel it forms a welcome service in addition to many other
help organisations.’
Many adults
‘differentiate
between
online and
offline friends,
whilst youth
do not.’
Yvonne van Sark
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34 KT magazine
De kindertelefoon
Taboos
no,
& sex:
FUN YES
tekst: Sacha Gertsik | Illustraties: Menah
“How does kissing work?”
“Today in school we had sex ed, so now
how do I properly use a condom?”
“My boyfriend wants to have sex
but I’m not ready for it. What should I do?”
These are questions the volunteers of
De Kindertelefoon get asked on a daily basis.
Reporter Sacha Gertsik talked to sexologist Ellen Laan and volunteers Rik Braams
and Josje Sunder about De Kindertelefoon and sex.
Parents find it difficult
As a sexologist, Ellen Laan does pioneering
work researching women’s sexual experience and knows like no other how important sexual education is. “Sexual education
in the Netherlands in general is very good,
which is reflected in the country’s STD
and abortion rates.” Yet Laan sees room
for improvement: “Sex is often not openly
discussed with young people. Parents
find it difficult to strike up a conversation
about it and they are unsure what words
to use, so a lot of the time they just leave
it alone. This teaches their children sex is a
mysterious subject not to be touched. De
Kindertelefoon does engage in open conversation and this way fills a gaping void in
society.”
Bring out in the open
Volunteer Rik Braams agrees wholeheartedly. He has been with De Kindertelefoon
for a long time and through the years he
has heard a wide range of “sex questions”.
Rik: “De Kindertelefoon strives for bringing subjects that are taboo in school or at
home, out in the open. I think somewhat
progressive parents will explain to their
children about sex or pregnancy, but by far
not all of them do. De Kindertelefoon aims
to be approachable, so children feel they
can ask questions they dare not ask family
or friends.”
No belittling
Besides bringing subjects out in the open,
De Kindertelefoon aims to better youth’s
knowledge on sex. Josje van Sunder is, like
Rik, a seasoned volunteer and tells us how
they go about this: “First and foremost
volunteers of De Kindertelefoon listen to
children’s stories, but we also carry a certain social responsibility. We do not want
to belittle children or impose our views on
them, but we do offer information and encourage children to think about their own
questions.”
Do inform
Sexual education often focuses on the dangers of sex, but Ellen Laan says it is just as
important to discuss the enjoyment of it.
Laan: “Studies have shown the question
youth ask most frequently about sex is:
‘How do we make it pleasurable?’ They
rarely get information on this from their
parents or in school, even though this is
such an incredibly important issue!” Laan
sees sexual pleasure as truly valuable in
its own right, but she says also it is greatly
functional. “Sexual pleasure protects you
from problems such as painful intercourse
or trouble climaxing. To understand this,
adolescents have to get to know their bodies and their partner’s.” With this too De
Kindertelefoon can help. Rik says when
35
children ask about losing their virginity, the volunteer will explain
it is not just a bonus to feel sexually aroused, it is a prerequisite. Rik:
“We tell them sex can be safe and enjoyable and how important it
is to feel good and safe doing this, to be in the mood for it and to
make sure they are not experiencing pain.”
Quite tricky
Rik and Josje often notice it can be quite tricky for children to ask
questions about sex. Josje: “It is always quite a step for them to
phone, as they are sharing personal information. You can be the
nicest counsellor in the world, it’s still tricky for them.” Rik adds:
“When talking about sex and sexuality it is even harder for them.
A lot of the time these are questions they can’t or won’t take up
with their family members, parents or friends. Then it’s no wonder
it proves tricky for them to talk to De Kindertelefoon about it.”
Everyone is unique
One would think by now Rik and Josje have heard all there is to be
asked about sex. They disagree. Rik: “Questions hardly ever get
asked without a story, there is always a context to it which varies.
To be able to suit that context you have to adapt to the situation. It
makes quite a difference if you’re on the phone with a deeply catholic child or a child from a progressive school.” Or, as Josje sums it up:
“Don’t look solely at the question, but see it in relation to the child.”
Rik: “This way, no two conversations are the same, so as a volunteer
with De Kindertelefoon you are never done learning.”
What guidelines does De
Kindertelefoon keep to on
sex?
Lionne Hietberg, coordinator with De Kindertelefoon
Amsterdam: “Our counsellors
engage in conversation on
any question which is asked
from a serious intention
on the part of the child or
youth. This includes questions on sex. On providing
information about sex we
always take into account the
age of the person contacting
us on the phone or online
chat. An 8 year-old for
instance, would want less
detailed information than a
15 year-old. To be able to
suitably inform, counsellors ask what knowledge
and perhaps experience
the caller already has and
with what reason they have
contacted De Kindertelefoon.
During these conversations
counsellors naturally discuss
the importance of safe sex
and use of a condom.”
36 KT magazine
PHOTO DOSSIER
THIS IS WHAT
IT’S ALL ABOUT
Kindertelefoon Magazine requested four photographers to capture the
themes and subject matter of talking to De Kindertelefoon in still images.
Julie Hrudova
Pascal Goudkuil
Bowie Verschuuren
Lionne Hietberg
37
Julie Hrudova
38 KT magazine
Julie Hrudova
39
Pascal Goudkuil
40 KT magazine
Pascal Goudkuil
41
Bowie Verschuuren
42 KT magazine
Bowie Verschuuren
43
Lionne Hietberg
44 KT magazine
Lionne Hietberg
45
De Kindertelefoon &
Child abuse
text: Julie de Graaf | illustrations: Menah
Daan prefers not to
shower after PE. He
keeps on his clothes so
no one sees the bruises
he has on his back and
arms.
Lotte makes sure she
gets home exactly on
time every day so her
mother won’t have
reason to get upset and
yell at her.
And Mohammed’s parents don’t care what
time he gets home. It’s
like they don’t even
notice him…
46 KT magazine
Neglect, sexual, mental or physical violence; child abuse comes in all shapes and
sizes and in the Netherlands occurs over a hundred thousand times a year. Children
who fall victim to abuse often feel they have nowhere to turn. They have lost faith
in their surroundings, or they do not know of the existence of help services
such as the NSPCC. A lot of the time they are scared someone will tell
on them and make their home situation even worse. With De
Kindertelefoon they can anonymously tell their story and, if
they feel they are ready, get help.
47
‘Children who are being
abused, often don’t dare
tell anyone about it.
This means they are all
alone in their grief’
Anyone who has concerns about a child’s wellbeing can contact
the AMK (the Dutch NSPCC, which is part of Bureau of Youth Care).
In 2011 this was done over 65,000 times, and in 19,254 times the
AMK issued further investigation. A social worker or child welfare
investigator talks to the parents, children and the people surrounding the family and offers advice on how to improve the situation. In the vast majority of the cases the parents accept this help
voluntarily. If they are unwilling to cooperate with these protective
measures, the AMK requests the Child Care and Protection Board
to investigate the necessity of the measures and if need be, to enforce them through Juvenile Court.
Relief
Anne-Marie Raat works as a child welfare investigator with the AMK
and regularly talks to children who are faced with abuse. She explains how an AMK investigation is approached: “If we get a report
of abuse which we are looking into, we always start by talking to
the parents as they hold the responsibility for their children. Only
in cases where a child is under severe threat or physical abuse, we
talk to the child first to ensure the home situation does not get out
of control.” In practice Raat sees a lot of the time children feel relieved on knowing their story is out. “Children I talk to are happy
their problem is now under attention. Suddenly someone is telling them: ‘What happens to you, is not a healthy situation.’ Take
neglect; it is the most common form of child abuse, but there are
little children who realise it is not normal for them to have to care
for their own dinner or that there’s no-one there to put them to bed
at night. In cases like these, the AMK can make arrangements with
the parents, if necessary with help from people around them, and
they will see to it these arrangements are being adhered to.”
Enormous hurdle
Many a time it’s concerned neighbours, friends and family who
contact the AMK, but hardly ever the abused child himself. Raat
says she would like to see this change: “In contacting the AMK children still experience an enormous hurdle. They see us as an official
“institution” and are scared to call on us for fear of the home situation only worsening. This is why it is so important for these children
to also be able to talk to De Kindertelefoon. De Kindertelefoon offers abused children an accessible place to tell their story and be
heard.”
‘Suddenly someone is telling
them: What happens to you is
not a healthy situation’
48 KT magazine
What about De Kindertelefoon?
Mandy van de Camp is a volunteer with De Kindertelefoon in
Nijmegen and regularly speaks to children who could well use the
help of the AMK. She knows from experience that for many children the first come out with their story is at De Kindertelefoon.
Mandy: “Children who are being abused, often don’t dare tell anyone about it. This means they are all alone in their grief. The moment they decide to contact De Kindertelefoon, this changes and
an opening is created.” Counsellors try to play into that opening
by denominating the abuse and explaining abuse is illegal. In her
conversations Mandy notices naming the abuse can make a huge
difference: “Of course children sense something is off, but usually
they don’t know they are not to blame and that what happens to
them is illegal by law. With us they receive support and they hear
about the possibility of getting help in making the abuse stop.”
Mandy says De Kindertelefoon does all it can to encourage children to find this help within their direct environment. This could
be with a school counsellor, a class teacher, a close relative or one
of the parents who isn’t involved in the abuse. For instance, Mandy
helped a girl who was being sexually abused by her father with
writing a letter to her mother. “That did feel like a very big step,”
Mandy is quick to add. “A lot of children are not nearly ready to take
action when they are just coming out about it. For them the huge
step they take is to anonymously tell someone about the abuse for
the first time.”
Active referral to
the Bureau of Youth Care
Since 2008 it has been possible for De
Kindertelefoon, when a child is experiencing
emotional or physical abuse, to directly refer
them to the Bureau of Youth Care. This can
be done through an active referral: a procedure in which the child gives up his or her
anonymity and seeks help together with De
Kindertelefoon.
Trust
Even though our counsellors receive intensive training on talking
about abuse, some stories still hit hard. Mandy: “These conversations really get to me, especially if the child on the line is crying.
That goes straight to my heart.” At the same time, Mandy knows
one telephone conversation can make all the difference: “If I can
ensure a child he or she can look for help because what is happening to them is not right, I have truly helped them. It can sometimes
be quite difficult to hang up at the end of such a conversation, because you will never know what happens next. You have to trust it
will be alright, by trusting in the conversation you had and by trusting the child.”
Birgit Waarts is project worker with the National Bureau
Kindertelefoon and has insight into all active referrals carried out
over the past years. Waarts says: “Our volunteers found it very
frustrating they couldn’t offer children with severe problems anything other than a conversation. Especially in cases where it is evident the child is in urgent danger and something has to be done
as quickly as possible. To intercept this problem we set up a collaboration with the Bureau of Youth Care, so if children want to be
referred to them, we can do so.”
Give up anonymity
Waarts explains the procedure of active referral is completely different from a regular Kindertelefoon conversation, because the
child choses to give up their anonymity. “Our counsellors have to
be very clear on this. They explain to the child what it means to be
actively referred and that if the child choses to disclose his or her
information to us, the conversation is no longer anonymous and
noncommittal. De Kindertelefoon has the obligation to pass on the
child’s information to the Bureau of Youth Care in any case, even if
the child then disconnects. If the child understands the procedures
of active referral and has disclosed their address, phone number
and date of birth, the counsellor sets up a conference call with the
emergency help service of the Bureau of Youth Care. In this conference call the child can tell his or her story, together with De
Kindertelefoon. The Bureau of Youth Care worker then takes over
the conversation and determines what actions should be taken.”
These actions can vary from having an exploratory interview with
the parents and people surrounding the child, to an immediate admittance to the crisis centre in the most extreme cases. The child
receives the same care in this as they would have had through
placing a report with the AMK. According to Waarts, in 2011 120
children were actively referred by De Kindertelefoon. “It might
not sound like a lot, but behind those 120 children there is a huge
group who do contact us about abuse, but who are not yet ready
to give up their anonymity. Starting in 2012 we are going to map
exactly how many children we are talking about, so our volunteers
can play into that even better.”
Back to volunteer Mandy. Active referral was designed so counsellors would no longer feel empty-handed in cases of emergency.
How does she experience this in practice? Mandy: “It makes for
a good solution, especially for children who are in a crisis situation and need help immediately.” Also for children who are not yet
ready to give up their anonymity, Mandy thinks having the option
of active referral is very important. “For those children it is a huge
step to talk to De Kindertelefoon about their problem for the first
time, even if they are still apprehensive of being actively referred.
In any case they now know of the possibility of the referral and they
can always call again in the future. At a moment when they’re ready
for it.”
‘One telephone conversation
can make all the difference’
Child abuse is ‘any form of interaction that
is violent or threatening towards a minor,
whether physical, psychological or sexual
in nature, which may be actively or passively imposed upon the minor by a parent
or other person with whom the minor has a
dependent or constraining relationship, and
which causes or is liable to cause serious
physical or psychological harm to the minor’.
(from the Youth Care Act)
49
WHAT ARE CHILDREN’S
THOUGHTS ON CHILD ABUSE?
De Kindertelefoon sees great value in hearing from children and youth what is
on their minds. Therefore surveys and polls are posted on the website www.
kindertelefoon.nl on a regular basis. From October through to February 2012
the subject was child abuse and over 1000 children and youth ranging in age
from 8 to 18 responded. Their reactions show children know very well what
child abuse entails.
Children and youth agree that child abuse is out of order
and the child is not to blame. To a range of statements they
replied that ‘being neglected by your parents’ and ‘being
beaten or sexually abused by an adult’ is in fact child abuse.
To the question whether child abuse comes from an adult
familiar to the child, over 90 per cent says ‘yes’. In regard to ‘who would you turn to if it happened to you’, De
Kindertelefoon (62 per cent) and a teacher or tutor (43 per
cent) are mentioned most.
Adults need help if they are abusive to children
“Adults who abuse children are in need of help”, according to
75 per cent of the children, “because child abuse does not stop
itself”, says 84 per cent. The answers to the question “who
would you contact if your best friend told you he or she was
being abused by his or her parents”, vary. [Refer to graph.]
Children acknowledge the importance of having someone
around they can confide in, such as a teacher or tutor, but official bodies, such as a GP and the NSPCC show to be a far cry
away from them. For reaching out online to talk about child
abuse, a large group (49 per cent) sees online chat as the most
adequate medium.
Children know very well what child abuse entails
If one thing shone crystal clear from the answers, it would be
that children and youth know very well what child abuse entails. A noticeably small percentage of children have never
heard of child abuse, with 18 per cent stating they are a victim
themselves: an astounding 184 children adhered to this answer. Luckily the vast majority of children say with child abuse
the child is never to blame.
50 KT magazine
“Who would you contact if your best friend told you he
or she was being abused by his or her parents?”
20%
No-one, that’s between my friend and I.
19%
I discuss it with my parents.
3%
I discuss it with other friends.
11%
I discuss it with a teacher.
33%
I discuss it anonymously with De Kindertelefoon on phone or online chat.
12%
Other.
De Kindertelefoon regularly posts polls and
surveys on www.kindertelefoon.nl to map the
ideas and opinions of children and youth. This
way De Kindertelefoon has a monitoring function and we build up a database of information
on the basis of which further (scientific) research may be conducted.
VOLUNTEER IN FOCUS
who Irma
where Friesland
Irma (1987) has been a volunteer
with De Kindertelefoon in Friesland
for 3 years. She is also studying
Social Work and Services.
why volunteer | I joined De Kindertelefoon as an intern in light of my studies. As an intern you do the same work as
a volunteer and after my internship was
fulfilled, I chose to stay. This organisation
gives you the opportunity to receive valuable lessons and to give to others. At times
it can be quite difficult being a volunteer,
for instance if there are a lot of prank calls
coming in, but the real conversations in
which you can truly mean something to a
child make it all worth it.
memorable conversation | The
other day a 13 year-old girl phoned who
was terminally ill. She had a brain tumour,
which made it difficult for her to speak.
Despite this discomfort she wanted to call
and talk about her illness and the pain it
put her parents through. You can’t really
do anything for that child; you can’t solve
her problem or better the situation. My
being able to be of value to her by listening and being there for her is beautiful and
very special. That day I went home feeling
sad and content at the same time. It was a
conversation I will never forget.
the phone room | I don’t always have a
51
colleague working with me, but if I do, we
take breaks together and talk about this,
that and the other. I always come in early
to chat with the coordinators. In Friesland
we work with a small but very committed
team. If I have a difficult test coming up,
the week after someone will ask how it
went. I find that ethos makes it all the more
enjoyable being a volunteer.
SOMETHING BAD
HAPPEN ON THE INTERNET?
ON MELDKNOP.NL YOU’LL FIND INFORMATION,
HELP AND ADVICE TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM.
BULLYING
SEX
SEXUAL ABUSE
HARASSMENT
Meldknop.nl
52 KT magazine
If young people between
the ages of 11 and 16 have
had a bad experience on the
Internet, they can turn to
Meldknop.nl. The site offers
information, but can also help
and advise on solving these
problems. Subjects youth
search for information on, are
hacking and phishing, cyber
bullying and harassment,
but also grooming and socalled ‘loverboys’. If they
need help solving a problem,
through Meldknop.nl they
can directly contact De
Kindertelefoon or any one of
the other help organisations
involved. In early 2012 De
Kindertelefoon launched
Meldknop.nl in collaboration
with HelpWanted, Pestweb,
Internet Discrimination
Hotline, Vraaghetdepolitie.nl
and Digivaardig & Digibewust.
Furthermore, on Meldknop.nl
one can download an actual
report button, so access of
the website in the Internet
browser is just one click away.
Je hoeft niet te doen alsof...
Bij ons kun je jezelf zijn.
De Kindertelefoon luistert. En als het nodig is, helpen we je verder.
Bel gratis 0800–0432 of chat via www.kindertelefoon.nl
6100-099 Poster Kindertelefoon A3.indd 1
7/31/09 2:27 PM
Je hoeft niet te do
en alsof...
Bij ons k
un je jez
De Kinde
elf zijn.
rtelefoon
lu
6100-09
9 Poster
istert. En
Bel grat
als het n
is 0800–
odig is, h
0432 of
elpen we
chat via
je verder.
www.kin
dertelef
oon.nl
Kinderte
lefoon A3
.indd 2
53
7/31/09
2:28 PM
Infographic: Hanneke van Etten
INFOGRAPHIC
This infographic graphically demonstrates how the many
contacts De Kindertelefoon has had (over a million) are
divided across channels, ages and subjects.
Kick-off online chat
Launch website
Mobile calls
free of charge
Kick-off Kindertelefoon
Launch online forum
webs
8-12 yo
m
drea
e
lin
um
-1
f
or
si
te
ite
13
8 yo
w
eb
e
castl
wall of c
s
omplaint
poetry
help one
que
stio
ns &
another
ans
wer
shout out
poe
try
on
NUMBER OF CONTACTS OF DE KINDERTELEFOON IN 2012
TELEPHONE ONLINE CHAT WEBSITE
410.294110.489 645.529
54 KT magazine
s
Relat
ion
Sexu ships
ality
Home
and F
amily
Body
Life
Viole
nce
Bully
ing
Feelin
gs
Emot
ional
Turm
Free
oil
time
Scho
ol/Wo
rk
Other
The L
aw
Chat
versus
Phone
Topics Top 3
1 Relationships
2 Sexuality
3 Home and Family Life
1 Sexuality
2 Bullying
3 Relationships
7% Unknown
1% Unknown
8% Group
1% Group
30% Boys
14% Boys
78% Girls
Online chat, more boys or girls?
61% Girls
On the phone, more boys or girls?
SPREAD OVER THE DIFFERENT CHANNELS:
ONLINE FORUM
PEER2PEER GUEST LECTURES
230.7511.647 672
55
interview
‘When
divorce and
unemployment rates
rise, more
calls come in
at De Kindertelefoon’’
Importance of De Kindertelefoon in the year 2012
Scientific literature tells us divorce and parental unemployment
form major stress factors for children. “Therefore we focus our research primarily on these elements,” says Van Dolen. “We created
an analysis of the national figures on divorce and unemployment
in combination with information on Kindertelefoon conversations
between 1994 and 2011. This analysis shows when divorce and unemployment rates rise, more calls come in at De Kindertelefoon.
For the first time we could demonstrate a direct relation between
unemployment and children’s help-seeking behaviour.” Van
Dolen’s research shows children’s need for social support grows
in times of economic hardship. A relevant conclusion, all the more
seeing as the Netherlands are currently in a heavy financial crisis,
Van Dolen emphasizes. “In times of crisis cuts are made to under-
AN INDISPENSABLE SOURCE
OF INFORMATION
Of all incoming connections at De Kindertelefoon, the
child’s sex and estimated age, and the conversation’s
subject are registered. In doing this De Kindertelefoon
is building a unique database of information, whilst
keeping the anonymity and the confidentiality of the
conversations guaranteed. With the help of this database, Willemijn van Dolen, Marketing professor with
Amsterdam University, examined the effects of unemployment and divorce on the help-seeking behaviour of
children: ‘De Kindertelefoon is indispensible, especially
in times of economic hardship.’
An indispensible source of information
Van Dolen and her colleagues researched factors of influence on
the telephonic and online chat behaviour of children. Van Dolen:
“Guided by the contact registration of De Kindertelefoon we looked
at whether the subjects of conversations changed over time and at
how we might account for those changes.” Van Dolen explains why
the data of De Kindertelefoon were so important for her research.
“Children can formally or informally seek out help. Formal help is
found with GP’s or institutions, informal help lies with friends and
family. Research-feeding data we get from those formal sources.
Usually these are organisations children can only access through
their parents.” Van Dolen emphasizes the data De Kindertelefoon
collects, are unique: “Children who experience problems with their
parents probably won’t get to these formal sources of help, so there
is little information on this. As far as I know, De Kindertelefoon is
the only organisation children can turn to without their parents’ involvement. In this De Kindertelefoon provides researchers with an
indispensible source of information.”
56 KT magazine
text: Sacha Gertsik
image: Ineke Oostveen
takings such as De Kindertelefoon, but this should certainly not
be done. First and foremost our research point out the vital importance of De Kindertelefoon, now especially.”
Unemployment and violence
Another striking outcome of the research, says Van Dolen, are the
following findings: with greater unemployment, a greater amount
of Kindertelefoon conversations centre on violence. But this needs
nuancing. Van Dolen: “Because of the anonymous character of De
Kindertelefoon it is impossible to directly link the number of calls
on violence to the rise of unemployment. We do not know whether
the parents of the children who phone or chat about violence are
indeed unemployed.” Van Dolen does think the rising number of
calls on violence in times of rising unemployment could be an indication of causality. Further research into the exact reasons why
more children phone about violence would therefore be very much
desired, states Van Dolen. “The more we know about children’s situations, the better the government and various organisations can
play into these problems and put a halt to the violence occurring.”
Brand awareness
Her research was not at all supposed to be about the effect of social economic factors on the help-seeking behaviour of children,
Willemijn van Dolen tells us: “As a Marketing professor, together
with professor Charles Weinberg and researcher Leiming Ma, I set
out to study the effectiveness of campaigns of De Kindertelefoon.
Remarkably enough, the campaigns turned out to have little effect
on the amount of phone calls, because children often know of De
Kindertelefoon already. Marketing campaigns are therefore not as
necessary, because the brand awareness is clearly in full effect.”
Jolanda (1983) has been a volunteer
with De Kindertelefoon Amsterdam
and Flevoland for 2 years. She works
at a credit insurance company doing
finances.
VOLUNTEER IN FOCUS
who Jolanda
where Amsterdam
and Flevoland
why volunteer | A few years ago I volunteered with an orphanage in Africa. There I
discovered the beauty of giving and of working with children. So after arriving back in Holland I was keen on further volunteering with
children. I chose De Kindertelefoon because I
love talking to children and hearing what is on
their minds. It is very special how they share
such intimate stories with you. I give a lot, but
I also gain the world from it.
memorable conversation | There have
the phone room | Our phone room has
a pleasant atmosphere. During my shifts I
always love talking to the other volunteers and
I feel very comfortable throwing questions
out there if I’m having difficulty with an online
chat. And of course it’s good to vent to one
another after you’ve had an hour of nothing
but prank calls. Because of that relaxed atmosphere I have a smile on my face when I come
in and it’s still there when I leave.
57
IMAGE: Bob Bronshoff
been so many heavy or lovely conversations in
which children time and time again astound
me with how strong they can be, or how
touching. When I was just starting out as a
volunteer I had an online chat with a girl who
was suffering from leukaemia. She was very
interested in life after death, but wasn’t able
to talk about that with the people surrounding
her. That was such a beautiful and open conversation that I still remember it sometimes.
We discussed such grave matters, but also
the smallest things in life. It is amazing that a
child, who doesn’t know you, will share incredibly intimate thoughts with you.
De Kindertelefoon
BULLYING
&
Text: Julie de Graaf | Image: Julie Hrudova
Bullying is one of the most discussed subjects with
De Kindertelefoon. No wonder, because according to
the Dutch Youth Institute, in primary schools alone 11
per cent of the students is being bullied on a regular
basis. Kindertelefoon Magazine talked to psychologist
Bob van der Meer about bullying, rules and regulations, and solutions. Van der Meer is founder of the
website www.pesten.net [‘pesten’ is Dutch for ‘bullying’] and he develops policies for schools for halting
and preventing bullying.
58 KT magazine
‘To combat bullying
without the school’s
cooperation is to
fight a losing battle’
‘Over 60 per
cent of children
faced with
bullying in
primary schools
are afraid to tell
their parents’
NUMBER OF CONVERSATIONS ON BULLYING in
Bullying has been covered a lot by the media lately, is it
a typically contemporary problem?
“The arisen dismay results from recent suicides of young bully
victims. This does not mean it is a new phenomenon; bullying has
been a continuously present problem for decades with hefty consequences. Not only can it lead to suicide, but also to depression,
anxiety (fear of failure) and deep insecurities. Bullied kids feel like
a true nobody, they believe they bring this on themselves and feel
it is their fault they are being excluded. Even if the bullying stops,
this doesn’t mean all is well. Some children after being bullied even
suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.”
other’s safety. Of course the school is in a position to add or adjust
rules, so rules can play into current developments; for instance
how kids should interact regarding social media.”
What can children who are being bullied do to put a stop
to this?
“I advise children to please tell someone if they are being bullied,
because it is not something they should carry around with them.
If a child does not dare confide in anyone, he or she can very well
turn to De Kindertelefoon to find a caring listener, but it is important that eventually they become brave enough to tell their parents
about it. The parents can then step into action, together with the
school.”
Of what help can De Kindertelefoon be to children who
are being bullied?
“De Kindertelefoon has the important task of encouraging these
children to talk to someone they know about it. A lot can be gained
in this, as over 60 per cent of children faced with bullying in primary schools are afraid to tell their parents. If they aren’t afraid any
longer after talking to De Kindertelefoon, the first step has been
taken.”
What can schools do to stop bullying?
“At the core of the solution to this issue is kids in school coming
up with their own rules on how to treat one another, and those
rules should regularly be discussed and repeated. Also it is very
important for children who do not stick to these rules dealt with
seriously. If all a bully has to do is say “sorry”, without any further
consequences attached, the bullying will continue immediately.”
Even in schools where teachers are very firm in dealing
with bullies, bullying is still a problem. How come?
“A teacher might see 10 per cent of what happens amongst students, which is why we need to place the responsibility for the
other 90 per cent with the children themselves. Beside the bully
and the one being bullied, there is always a big group in the middle. This group has to be mobilised, so children feel they can take
a stand against bullying and stick up for the victim. Luckily children are easily motivated when it comes to important issues. For
instance they try to run a mile a minute when joining a fundraising
run fighting the violation of human rights in Nigeria, so surely we
can get them to take action against bullying.”
You say children should devise their own rules on how
to treat one another. Why is this so important?
“If children make their own rules, they feel responsible for abiding
by those rules. You can start this from a very young age. I work with
schools where in the Foundation stage we discuss the importance
of treating each other nicely, we tell them you can always come talk
to the teacher if something bad has happened and that this is not
squealing. Next, in Years 1 through 6 rules on bullying are devised
and these are repeated weekly. Anyone can speak up if something
is bothering him or her and this is talked about in a group discussion. This way we make the students feel responsible for each
2012:
With this approach it all comes down to how the school
deals with bullying.
“True. In a way it is sad, but if a school does not have a solid approach to bullying and your child is being bullied, the best thing
you can do is take your child out of that school and put them into a
good school. To combat bullying without the school’s cooperation
is to fight a losing battle.”
Marije Kat and Lindy Robles stepped into action against bullying and designed bracelets stating “You Are Good” to break
the taboo. Part of the proceeds is donated to De Kindertelefoon
and Sensoor, the helpline for adults. Marije Kat tells us about
this amazing initiative: “When in late 2012 bully victim Tim
Ribberink committed suicide, Lindy and I got on the phone to
each other that very night. We were shocked and both felt the
urge to do something. We remember how awful it is to be bullied: Lindy has experienced it herself and my brother was bullied when he was younger. We wanted to think of something
the whole country could be involved in. Something to put bullying up for public discussion, so no one would be left to face
this problem alone anymore. We came up with bracelets carrying the positive message “You Are Good”. This message goes for
the people who wear the bracelet, but also for everyone they
meet. The You Are Good bracelet is now available for purchase
in 900 shops in the Netherlands and people let us know all
the time they are proud to wear it. Many schools also use our
bracelets to start a class debate about bullying. That is exactly
what we are aiming for: for children to become aware of the
impact bullying can have and for children who are being bullied
to ask for help. With the proceeds we support De Kindertelefoon
and Sensoor. I have known about De Kindertelefoon from a very
young age and I feel comforted by knowing there is a place for
children to talk about their story.” Check out
www.youaregood.nl for more information
and places of sales.
PHONE: 16.978 | ONLINE Chat: 4824
5 9
60 KT magazine
CHILD
HELPLINES
AROUND
THE
WORLD
Every country has systems in order to project children, how formal or informal they may be. Since
all countries, except for the US and Somalia, 20
years ago signed the Convention on the Rights of
the Child. Governments thus have a formal obligation to provide protection to children, however
small the budget may be. Governments of poor
countries do receive support from bilateral organisations such as embassies, or organisations like
the United Nations or Unicef.
▲▲▲
Leen Decadt, head of programme with Child
Helpline International, offers her view of the sometimes difficult decisions but also of the unique solutions of helplines in South Africa, Pakistan and
Romania.
Text: Catherine Coumou | Images: CHI
61
South Africa | impact of lobby and organisation
▲
“The monitoring function of the South African child helpline Gauteng is exceptionally well organised. For
instance at one point they noticed a particular province was receiving a lot of phone calls of children with
questions on legal issues. On investigation it showed this province was executing its laws very poorly. They
sounded the alarm, got the press involved, people were confronted and within a year the situation had been
turned around. The proactive attitude of this child helpline has over the past few years enormously improved
children’s rights in South Africa.”
Child helpline Gauteng
Communication in a country with 11 languages
To empower children, to protect them but also to get them involved with the solution. The South African helpline Gauteng is immensely active and not only towards children. The help Gauteng
offers varies from empowerment workshops for women, to orphan
yoga, to therapy for both victim and culprit. Dumisile Nala, of the
child helpline Gauteng, tells us: “In 1982 the province of KwaZulu
Natal had no organisations to offer support to children who had
fallen victim to violence. There did exist a great need for this, which
was the reason for setting up the child helpline Gauteng. The help
service was to be available for questions of any child, regardless of
descent or skin colour, this was very important to us.”
“South Africa has eleven different languages, so if children phone,
it is very important they get to talk to someone who speaks their
language. Also particular provinces deal with specific problems,
so you have to know about the local issues in order to provide the
child with the best help. The country still bears the scars of its past
and violence is a major issue in this society. Physical abuse and neglect are thus the most prominent reasons for children to contact
us. Children who were in acute danger, we could not offer a safe
place to stay, except for the police station. So in 1997 we founded
the Sunlight Safe House.”
62 KT magazine
Romania | vulnerabilities of a new democracy
▲
“As a former Eastern Bloc country, over the past 20 years Romania has undergone a major social and
political change. This also means the child helpline is confronted with a number of particular problems,
such as child trafficking. The helpline sets up numerous campaigns to raise children’s awareness on this
issue.”
Romania: Asociata Telefonul Copilului
Asociata Telefonul Copilului is the only child helpline in Romania for children to discuss their problems and personal issues. Since 2002, 7 days a week from 8 a.m. to
midnight, children are welcome to call. Copilului also calls in emergency services for
children in need. Catalina Florea of Asociata Telefonul Copilului tells us: “The vast
number of callers every year reaffirms the necessity for helpline Copilului to exist. So
far we have had over 1.8 million conversations. Furthermore we organise awareness
and promotional campaigns, this way we encounter at least 15,000 children a year.”
Teen trafficking
“Child trafficking, and especially trafficking of young girls, is a major problem in
Romania and this is not waning. In fact, over the past few years child trafficking has
even worsened. Poverty and the lack of information are the main causes for this form
of abuse. We feel a well-educated child is a warned child. Therefore we see it as an
important informational task to warn vulnerable children of child trafficking, which
is why at the moment we are specifically campaigning the rural areas of Romania,
Moldavia and Transylvania.”
63
Pakistan | development of a helpline can move swiftly
▲
“A beautiful example of how swiftly a helpline can grow, is Pakistan’s. Up until 2011 only children from the
big city of Karachi could call the helpline and now they have regional offices in all provinces. These work in
a very proactive manner. Like when the media are covering cases of child abuse, they use this in their lobbying and they visit the victims to offer support. Girlpower, a Dutch government project which aims to improve
the circumstances of girls in 13 different countries, supports the helpline with setting up regional offices, but
also has provided them with a better data registration system, which helps with their lobbying.”
Pakistan: Madadgaar helpline
Strong influence of the tribal culture
Madadgaar helpline focuses purely on improving girls’ circumstances in Pakistan.
Over the years Madadgaar has been able
to vastly expand their services. Zia Awan,
who has been leading the helpline since its
start in 1989, says: “Pakistan is a country
where tribal tensions and political instability form a structural part of life. This greatly
impacts the situation in which Pakistani
children grow up. Structural stigmatisation
of victims of abuse and a corrupted police
system are major issues in Pakistan. For
the helpline this means with regards to the
protection of children there is a lot of work
to be done. The helpline also targets women. The number one channel of Madadgaar
is the telephone for assisting children and
women, and children and women can also
visit the office.”
“By organising awareness campaigns on domestic or sexual abuse and children’s and
women’s rights, awareness is raised. An exciting project Madadgaar is involved in at the
moment, is setting up youth clubs throughout the country for providing girls around
Pakistan with a platform for them to express and further develop themselves. Since 2011
26 newspapers are scanned daily by a system that searches for violence against women or
children. Because of this system Madadgaar can provide better and more suited help to
victims. But the strong influence of the tribal culture means it is still difficult to come out
and talk about your story. Many people do not tell of what has happened to them in fear of
disgrace or reprimands.”
Madadgaar event on
National Children’s Day
64 KT magazine
VOLUNTEER IN FOCUS
who Luuk
where The Greater Hague Area
Luuk (1986) has been a volunteer with
De Kindertelefoon in the greater Hague
area for 2,5 years. He is a physician and
is doing his Ph. D. researching child
abuse. In the future he wants to become
a paediatrician.
why volunteer | I feel everyone should do
volunteer work to contribute to our society. I had
wanted to work with De Kindertelefoon from
when I was a student, but I didn’t have the time
until I started my residency. It is amazing to be
able to help children with questions and problems they would otherwise have no one to talk to
about. It also has taught me a lot: starting with
the induction training every volunteer learns
many handy communication skills, which you can
benefit from even in your own day-to-day life.
memorable conversation | A girl who rang
from the hospital where she was admitted for a
second time to receive cancer treatment. That
conversation was extraordinary to me because
I am aiming to become a paediatrician. This girl
was able to describe to me her experience of
this dreadful disease and her view of the doctors. She felt very alone in hospital and wanted
to talk to me about her illness, but also about fun
and cheerful things. At one point we were joking
about the doctors and nurses and I could hear
how she must have been just beaming on the
other side of the connection. It was an amazing
experience.
for two people: one on the phone and one on the
online chat. It is nice to have someone there you
can consult on how to deal with certain situations. Like the other day together with another
male volunteer I was practicing my best female
voice after children kept hanging up on hearing a
male voice. Not without success: that afternoon
I used my female voice to talk to a girl about her
first menstrual period.
65
the phone room | Our phone room has space
FOUNDATION FRIENDS OF DE KINDERTELEFOON
photo: Lionne Hietberg
Our motivation?
Love for the child and
for De Kindertelefoon
President Bert Feijtes and committee members Balou van de Ven and Tanja Vonk.
The other committee members, Jan Timmer and Edwin van der Zalm
are not pictured.
The Foundation Friends of De Kindertelefoon was founded to support De Kindertelefoon
and its volunteers in their work. The foundation makes an effort to bring about extraordinary projects. President Bert Feijtes and committee members Balou van de Ven and Tanja
Noteboom talk about the importance of the foundation for the work of De Kindertelefoon.
Tanja: ‘Networking and lobbying are important tasks for us. For instance we
receive support from people who retire on pension and donate their parting bonuses to us. Momentarily we notice difficulty getting big companies involved,
but the story of De Kindertelefoon is so powerful we do get in the door sooner
than anyone lobbying for any other cause. Moreover it can be interesting for
companies to sponsor De Kindertelefoon in the light of socially responsible entrepreneurship.’
Balou: ‘The foundation supports De Kindertelefoon in making the first contact
with big sponsors. This way we form the link between De Kindertelefoon and
sponsors. Part of our job is to be critical in who we collaborate with; for instance
we would not want to work with a sweets manufacturer, as obesity is a serious
problem with children.’
Bert: ‘We focus on specific themes and projects. One thing we did, was sponsor
a Kindertelefoon bus to drive around the country, stopping in at schools to provide information on sexuality, bullying and other important issues teens have
questions on. Bullying is an important subject to us, so in 2004 we supported
the development of a series of informative video clips and other educational
materials on bullying. This magazine too has come into being with the help of
Friends of De Kindertelefoon. It is a nice way of getting more attention for the
importance of De Kindertelefoon, but also a chance to shine a light on our 800plus volunteers. In the future the foundation is hoping to primarily develop ways
of empowering our volunteers and the children even more.’
66 KT magazine
Would you like to become
a friend of De Kindertelefoon? There are many ways
of supporting us: you can
make a donation to giro
account 6543 in name of
Stichting Vrienden van De
Kindertelefoon. You can
make a single donation,
establish a long-term relation with us or contribute to
a specific project. Contact
the Foundation Friends of De
Kindertelefoon on [email protected]
Colophon
Editors-in-Chief
Erik Ott and Maartje van Zant
Editors
Julie de Graaf (chef) and Catherine Coumou
Advisor and Senior Editor
Annette Lubbers
Journalistic Contributions
Jan Pieter Ekker, Sacha Gertsik,
Mijke de Hartog
Photography
Bob Bronshoff, Bowie Verschuuren,
Julie Hrudova, Pascal Goudkuil, Lionne Hietberg
and Catherine Coumou. All other images from
private archives interviewees.
Illustrators
Menah, Gabriel Kousbroek, Hanneke van Etten
Art Direction & Styling
Eva|Marie Producties:
Eva Kohnstamm and Marion Pothoff
Lithography
Colorset Amsterdam
Print
Dijkman Offset
English Translation
Rimke Paul
Sponsors
De Kindertelefoon owes many thanks to all people
and companies that facilitate projects for De
Kindertelefoon.
The most important are of course the volunteers
who gratuitously make time every week to talk to
children and youth.
InSided supplies the software for the social
community (online forum) of De Kindertelefoon.
InSided also supports De Kindertelefoon with the
continuous further development of the community through advice and training.
KANA Benelux B.V., the software specialist in contact centre solutions, allows De Kindertelefoon to
utilise the multichannel pack from KANA Express.
Questions & Answers, the online chat application
and the registration of all phone and chat conversations form part of this.
KPN, T-Mobile and Vodafone make it possible for
children and youth to call De Kindertelefoon from
their mobile, free of charge. On top of the subsidies De Kindertelefoon receives from the Ministry
of Health, Welfare and Sport, the operators have
made available a sponsorship amount.
Tomeloos (full service bureau for marketing and
communications) cares for the internal and external communications of the various expressions of
De Kindertelefoon.
Alexandra Horne (corrections)
Nathalie But, Erik Ott (coordination)
Contributors to Kindertelefoon Magazine
Branches of De Kindertelefoon, Eva
Kohnstamm, Marion Pothoff, Julie de Graaf,
Catherine Coumou, Annette Lubbers, Wilma
Groen, Etty van Leeuwaarden, Diana Gutierrez,
UPC Netherlands B.V. is sponsor to De Kindertelefoon and, among other things, has invested in the
professionalization of De Kindertelefoon through
the Kindertelefoon Academy.
Foundation Friends of De Kindertelefoon generates funds for De Kindertelefoon. It sponsors
various projects of De Kindertelefoon.
Erik Ott and Maartje van Zant
Thanks
Ellen Laan, Willemijn van Dolen, Nenita
Lastly, these vendors support De Kindertelefoon
either through discounts or in kind: Colorset, Dijkman Offset, UPC Business, Sound of Data, Contact
Center Live, BitLibre and Q42.
la Rose, Yvonne van Sark, Denny Mouqué,
Bob van der Meer, Marije Kat, Lindy RoblesStokdijk, Janneke, Joris, Marleen, Ellen, Aileen,
Irma, Jolanda, Luuk, Nourdin, Trijntje, Anita
Joosstens, Iris Uffen, Mariëlla Melissen, Steffie
Ballemans, Suzanne ten Cate, Angelica van
Merkenstein, Nikki Stijl, Birgit Waarts, Mandy
© 2013 Jeugdzorg Nederland
No part of this publication may be reproduced by
ways of print, photocopy, automated data processing or any other way without express written
permission of Jeugdzorg Nederland.
van de Camp, Anne-Marie Raat, Rik Braams,
Josje van Sunder, Leen Decadt, Defence for
Children, de Kinderombudsman, UNICEF,
Meldknop.nl, Dumisile Nala, Catalina Florea,
Zia Awan, Sara Schoon, Tobias Nahuys, Luuk
Schoon, OBS de Dukdalf Rotterdam, Tineke
Hendriks, Nicolet Epker, Erik Gerritsen, Jolien
Jeugdzorg Nederland cannot be held accountable for
any errors or inaccuracies in this publication.
To issue a copy of this publication, send an e-mail
to the National Bureau Kindertelefoon ([email protected]). The National Bureau
Kindertelefoon is part of Jeugdzorg Nederland.
Vrijdag, Yannick Livestroo, Hanneke Simon,
Darja Menkveld, Faan Schouteren, Julie Ott,
Meije Vial, Lisa Peetoom, Carlijn Brusewitz,
Stichting Vrienden van de Kindertelefoon
67
illustration cover: Menah
“ik wil de Kindertelefoon bedanken,
Ik heb gesproken hoe ik de jongen
waar ik zo verliefd op ben kan versieren. Het is gelukt! Ik heb nu 4
dagen en 1 uur verkering met hem.
Het is heel leuk” # “Ik ben blij dat
ik de Kindertelefoon heb gebeld. Ik
vond het heel fijn om niet over ziek
zijn te praten maar alleen over leuke dingen” # “Het voelt prettig om
over mijn gedachten te praten met
mensen die niet te dichtbij staan” #
“Ik ben zo blij dat er de Kindertelefoon chat bestaat” # “Ik vind het
zo fijn om met de Kindertelefoon te
bellen. Ik wil graag regelmatig met
jullie bellen!” # “Anneke en Luuk,
ik vond het heel fijn om met jullie
te praten” # “Ik wil de Kindertelefoon een heel gelukkig Nieuwjaar
wensen omdat ze mij het afgelopen
jaar heel
goed hebben geholpen” #
“Ik ben blij dat ik de Kindertele68 KT magazine

the power of De Kindertelefoon

Transcription

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