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Victims, Villains and Heroes
Victims, Villains and Heroes Managing Emotions in the Workplace Paul Jan Zdunek • CEO– Pasadena Symphony and POPS • Principal/Owner – Arts-INC.biz • Partner/Consultant – Decision Support Partners, Inc. • Conservatory trained conductor Don Phin • • • • Attorney, author and speaker President, HRThatWorks.com Lives and works in Coronado, CA Played violin and loves music Natural Drama in the Performing Arts • • • • • • • Musicians/Artists – Artistic Director Artistic Director – Executive Director Executive Director – Board/Chair Artistic Director – Board/Chair Musicians/Artists – Artistic/Executive Management Staff – Artistic/Executive Donors, Audience and Media Economic Environment • • • • • • Magnifying Glass Blame Game Fear Factor Responsibility without Authority Plethora of Victims & Villains WANTED : Heroes Shakespeare said… “All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances. And one man in his time plays many parts.” As You Like It The Plot Victim Villain Hero The Victim Feels … • powerless • hopeless • fearful • incapable • suffering • dependant • depressed • silent How Many Would Agree: There is a growing victim mentality with less true victims than ever? Why Do We Play Victim?? Because… it feels good! Victims at Work Victims at Work • 5000 yr. old story • control and abuse • that’s the only story What Role does the Boss get to Play?... Bosses & Other Reptiles Never Work for a Jerk Portrait of a Villain • uncaring • abusive • selfish • manipulate • controlling • seductive • scheming • intolerant What Role Do You Think You Are Playing? Do you feel the problem? Portrait of a Hero • powerful • compassionate • caring • inspiring • helpful • giving • responsible • self-sacrificing Dark Side of the Hero • • • • controlling gullible exhausted gives but can’t receive • neglects family for “the cause” • owns others problems • overcommitted The Drama of Work • something feels unfair • find the lie • ignites the triumph energy The Answer Is… Managing Emotional Energy You own 100% by yourself. What Would Be Fair? 50/50 seems fair Emotional Inequality • 20%’rs (victims) • 80%’rs (villains) • 80%’rs (negative heroes) The 20/20 Relationship The 80/80 Relationship The 80/20 Relationship Relating at 50/50 The 40/40 Relationship Moving From 20% to 40% •coax •encourage •inspire Moving from 80% to 40% • let go of control • be present • have faith Speaking For Yourself • YOU, YOU, YOU • use “I” words • ask them to speak about their experience, not yours Avoiding Conflict • stay off stage! • “wow, that’s interesting!” • walk and breath The Rewards • end of Ground Hog Day • everybody can be a hero • live happily ever after Contact Info • Don Phin • (800) 234-3304 • www.hrthatworks.com • [email protected]
