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05-453 YV body.indd
YOUNG VOICES 2004/5 Young Voices Toronto Public Library is proud to present the 2004/5 edition of Young Voices. It includes poetry, prose and artwork selected from entries submitted by teens age 12-19. We have included items representing the variety of materials received at all 99 of our library branches. Thanks to the writers who selected the material for this year’s Young Voices: Anne Laurel Carter; Angela Rawlings; Teresa Toten; and Mark Truscott. A hearty thanks to all who submitted and congratulations to those whose work is published here. Toronto Public Library October 2005 Teardrop, Muzhda Hakime, Age 12 Contents Prose: Age 12–14 Victory!? Prerana Das . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Victory!?, Escapism—The Path to Freedom,, Tamie Dolny . 4 The Game, Isabel Yael Fine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Hear My Cry For Help, Linda Gomez . . . . . . . . . 6 The Little Girl Girl,, Tegan Gow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Midnight Fright Fright, Cindy Binyue Li . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Truly Within, Christine Ng . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Kevin Carter Carter, ZheShu Xiao . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 The End of the World World, Billy Zhao . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 How to Cope With Being a Malfunction Magnet Magnet, Billy Zhao. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Prose: Age 15–16 Revealed Lorraine Blas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Revealed, Pain Forgotten, Catherine Chan . . . . . . . . . . . . Silence, Sarah Ghazi . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Son of a Broken Man, Linda Li . . . . . . . . . . . . . Treasure Chest Sky Sky, Jason Liu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . In a Darkened Alley Alley, Emily Paskevics . . . . . . . . With Closed Eyes,, Ksenia Stassiouk . . . . . . . . . The Mirror Mirror, Laura Taylor. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Man with the Pursed Lips, Vanja Vukosavljevic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dripping with Rage, Shoshana Wasser . . . . . . . Prose: Age 17–19 Grey Salomeh Ahmadi. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Grey, Don't Hate, Appreciate, Temaj Basha . . . . . . . . The Lilac Bush, Melissa de Quadros . . . . . . . . . The Fighter Fighter, Samreen Faraz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Everyday Struggle, Temesgem Ghebremicael . All the Lonely People, Joyce Lam . . . . . . . . . . . Reality 101, Anita Li. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Today Feels Like Yesterday and the Tomorrow Before That That, Elena Lissitsyna . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Perspective, Natalija Milicevic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Scarlet Letter: A Review Review, Julia Zhao . . . . . . Poetry: Age 12–14 My Life Poem, Alice Dang . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Untitled, Gabrielle Felio . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Untitled My Room,, Tegan Gow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Broked, Tina Hang . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Broked This Day Day, Illya Mykytyn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Life is, Peter Nawara. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Me,, Denys Pavlov . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Queen of Pranks, Julia Varshavska . . . . . . . . . . Tragedy, Junaid Warwani . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tragedy High Heels, Mattie Wiseman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Poetry: Age 15–16 18 19 22 23 25 27 28 30 31 32 34 35 37 37 38 38 40 41 42 43 45 46 46 48 48 50 51 51 53 53 Wasted, Erin Cassidy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Wasted, Storm, Michelle Wong . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 57 The Street Street, Daniel Bacchus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 I am, Ana Knezovic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Isn’t it funny? funny?,, Nina Plotnik . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Peeling Wallpaper Wallpaper, Vanja Vukosavljevic . . . . . . Rich Emptiness of History History, Adela Rexha . . . . . . Ode to my Pillow Pillow, Marta Polanska . . . . . . . . . . Dance, Saara Punjani . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Days, Phillip Livingston. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I Grew Up, Anna Dziuba. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Poetry: Age 17–19 I love you, Mohamed Awad . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mother Nature and More, Ibrahim Baig . . . . . . The Waiting Room Tales, Nicholas Constantine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Room 335, David Han . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mister Marcus, Aresell Joseph . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Girl Reading the Letter Letter, Sosena Kassa . . . . Minute of Silence, Cecilia Ki. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Superheroes, Elena Lissitsyna . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Between Take-Off and Nowhere, Stephanie Law. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Tears of Shame, Tatum Joanne Bernardo. . . . . The Fountain of Youth, Hoa Pham . . . . . . . . . . 58 59 59 60 61 61 62 63 64 64 66 68 68 69 69 71 72 73 73 Illustrations Reach, Vicky Zhao. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . front cover Teardrop, Muzhda Hakime. . . . inside front cover Potential, Jaewon Jung . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 Potential Leftovers, Ann Han . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 Broken Will Will, Stella Ha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 Peace After a Battle, Johnny Choi . . . . . . . . . . .13 Worth a Thousand Words, ZheShu Xiao. . . . . .15 The Enigmatic Smile (self-portrait), Kushi Chachcha. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Subway Crowd Crowd, Malcolm Loo . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 The Sound of Happiness, Lisa Meng. . . . . . . . .21 A New World World, Sai Paranjape . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 Chapter #1: Light of Evil, Mary Zhao . . . . . . . .26 Long Travels, Adela Rexha . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .31 The Springside in My Dream, Zhen Hua (Mark) Xiong . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33 Childhood, Igor Sinitar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36 Childhood Watch Out! We're Coming! Coming!, Ryan Shin . . . . . . .40 Roots, Carina Chan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44 Solitary Candle, Christina Li. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .49 Artwork, Kelly Hu . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .52 Artwork For You, My Dear Valentine, ZheShu Xiao . . . .55 Melodic Garden, Lisa Meng . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .56 Pigeons in Flight Flight, Christina Cook . . . . . . . . . . . .60 Rock 'n' Roll Roll, Alexandra Gidoiu . . . . . . . . . . . . .65 De Original Sketch (D.O.S), Tristan Isaac . . . . .70 Meteora, Jessica Leen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74 Eagle Dreams, Vicky Zhao . . . . inside back cover Caught in the Act Act, Rebecca Wen . . . . .back cover Cover illustration: Reach, Vicky Zhao, Age 16 Prose Potential Jaewon Jung, Age 12 2 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 PROSE: AGE 12–14 Victory!? Take one look at me, and you’d know I’m not a sporty person. I’m skinny and have no muscles. I’m always the last to get picked for a team, the person who nobody passes the ball to at games... So one day, I decided to change. I knew I had the capability. I just needed the will. At the next game in gym, I’d steal the ball from the opposite team, and shoot! It would be a bold act to commit, but I was tired of being stereotyped as a nerd. I’d made up my mind; there was no turning back now. Next gym class, I’d score. Lucky, though, next gym period, we were an eager-to-get-out-of-class group Lucky of students. When the game started, I was on the bench. “Off the bench and into the game, KID!” That was Coach. The black-striped-orange menace bounded across the court in the hands of a different person every 15 seconds. The hands holding the ball bounced it against the gym floor at a fast pace as time kept running out. It was neat to watch, but my team was winning by a small margin, and time was running out. I decided my time had come. I was a boy with determination, a boy with a will. Raphael from the other team had the ball. He wasn’t a really good player either. This made me stop and think a second. Why’d they pass him the ball, but not me? I didn’t think about this long, though, because I sprinted over to him and stole the ball. I started running. Everything began to happen in slow motion after that. I was actually starting to feel like one with the ball; my movements were synchronized with it. I knew I could do this. I ran…ran…and everyone in the crowd became silent. My team-members were shouting. “Don’t do it!” “STOP!” “Pass it here!” I knew they were saying discouraging things because they thought I couldn’t do it. But I could be a jock too. Nothing would stop me now. I ran my last metre up to the hoop and threw the ball with all I had. The crowd was silent. The ball didn’t go straight in. It circled the rim for what seemed like an eternity. My teammates were chanting, “No…no…” I knew they were afraid the ball wouldn’t go in, so I gave them a reassuring smile. They all frowned back at me, which made me start to wonder. Just as the ball went in, I gasped. When the ball fell through the hoop, the audience started clapping and YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 3 laughing at the same time. There was cheering…lots of cheering. But it came from the other team. I realized too late, that in haste to prove myself worthy of playing basketball, I had run to the wrong side of the court and scored for the other team! Victory felt rotten. Prerana Das, Age 13 Escapism — the Path to Freedom Are you stressed out from your arduous homework, extensive projects and exasperating daily tests? Do you crave for your lazy summer holidays, so you can finally read that award-winning book, watch that newly-released movie or listen to that refreshing music? We all have a shared need to escape. That’s right, escape. Escapism is the desire to retreat from unpleasant reality through diversion and fantasy. Let me provide you with a little more evidence. Right now, I will give you a choice. You can either sit in reality and worry about all the work you need to complete, OR you can escape with me. Please join me in a thrilling mind ride where you can explore your imagination. Can you see the door? That’s right, the Door of Opportunity in front of you. It’s about five metres high, coloured in a cherry red gloss. There’s one shiny, brass, circular doorknob and one octagonal window. Take a chance and walk through the Door of Opportunity. NO! Don’t touch the handle! It’s burning hot! Quickly reach for the octagonal window and turn it 45 degrees to the right. Unfortunately … you are now standing in total darkness, on the edge of a large cylindrical tunnel. Can, can, can, you, you, you, hear, hear, hear, the, the, the, echo, echo, echo? You have but one way to go — straighten your body, cross your arms over your chest and slide down the tunnel towards the little, shining beacon. Whew, Whew, Whew — you are sliding downward at 60 km/hr. Look! There’s a bed of soft, luscious clouds at the end of the tunnel. Plop! Ohh … sooo luxurious. But, but, what’s that smell?? Ewwww!!! It’s potent, strong, putrid, reeking, stinking … scrambled eggs! The scrambled eggs are really your floating cloud and you’re lying on top. There’s only one way out. You’ll have to do a front somersault over the edge of the egg cloud and hope for the best. You’re in free-fall mode, spread your arms! Hold your breath — you’re going down to the bottom of the ocean. SPLASH! Ow! What’s that sucking sensation on your right ankle? Just flick it off. Unfortunately … it’s a brown, slimy, slithering leech. The leech sucking your blood dry really doesn’t matter because there’s a three metre long shark on your tail! SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE! Fortunately … you 4 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 spy a solitary island with a single mud hut on the shore. Look, the mud hut has the same cherry red-coloured Door of Opportunity. Stop! Remember the handle is burning hot. Just turn the octagonal window 45 degrees to the right. Unfortunately … our time is up. Thank you for joining me on our cerebral trek. Maybe you could finish your story by adding the next cyber journey. You see, we all need to diverge from reality by indulging in fantasy. Escape your reality by taking your own individual path to freedom, simply by using your powerful imagination. Tamie Dolny, Age 12 The Game It’s a game at the end of the lesson. You stand with one end of your long belt gripped in your right fist, resting on your right hip. The belt curves behind your back to run diagonally in front of you toward your partner who grasps the other end, curved behind her back, in like fashion. You face each other, bare feet planted in squishy blue mats, and begin the odd tug-of-war. The mission: to unbalance. The teacher bounces up to you in his dishevelled, half-starved liontype way, his gi hanging from him like so much skin off gaunt flesh and bones. The extra-long brown belt that kept it together is being used by another couple engaged in the game. He relieves your partner of her end and faces off against you. You are unprepared. You balance against his pull but the belt slacks off suddenly and you almost fall back. “Don’t commit too much,” he warns as you regain your balance. “I may let go.” The second time around you calculate and observe and keep your feet and head. You make your move with a yank that brings him stumbling forwards. You win. Isabel Yael Fine, Age 14 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 5 Hear My Cry For Help I was covered in blood. I couldn’t feel my face. I could hardly see. My vision was blurry. I felt his hand hit my face again. I fell on the ground from the force. “Help me.” I could feel the blood running out of my mouth. “Help me,” I tried to call for help. It seemed like no one could hear me. “Why don’t they help me?” I thought. He kicked me. I screamed in pain. I forced myself up. Then he pushed me into the wall. I screamed in pain again. I felt his hands on my shoulders and his body against mine. “I’m the boss here. You got that?” he whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes. “Good…” he said, then he took his hands off my shoulders and left. I fell to the ground. I could hear the feet of people leaving. I was drenched in my blood. How could they just watch? Why didn’t they help me? Just then I felt a hand on my back. All of a sudden I was lifted off the ground. I looked up and saw a man with brown hair and a blue eye and a green eye. “What’s your name?” he asked me. What if he was a perverted psycho? Oh well, I didn’t care, at least he helped me. “Linda,” I answered. “Lydia?” he asked. I shook my head. “Linda,” I repeated, a little louder this time. “Linda?” he asked. I smiled. His eyes searched my body then rested back on my lips. “You’re hurt badly…” I nodded my head in agreement. “Where are you taking me?” I asked. He didn’t reply. I was scared. Without me realizing it, I had fallen asleep in the stranger’s arms. I woke up to find myself in a white room. I sat up and saw a nurse. “How are you feeling, Linda?” she asked while fixing some flowers in the room. “Where’s the man?” “What man?” she asked. “He brought me here…” I was interrupted when someone walked into my room. It was the man. The nurse walked up to him and started doing some strange things with her hands. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Sign Language, he’s deaf.” I was shocked. The man that had saved me was deaf. “What is his name?” “Kyle.” “Tell him thank you and…and that I am grateful.” The nurse looked at me for a bit then did some more movements with her hands. The man looked at me. “Thank you Kyle,” I mouthed. He smiled at me. “You’re truly welcome,” Kyle said before leaving my room. Linda Gomez, Age 13 6 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Leftovers Ann Han, Age 12 The Little Girl “Come on, Chris!” yelled Sam from the porch of the old house. Chris looked at his older sister. She was so eager to go into the haunted house. Not him, though. He’d never go in — never ever, ever. “You’re such a baby!” his sister taunted. Chris frowned and took a hesitant step forward and then followed Sam into the house. It was old and musty. The once beautiful lace curtains on the windows were moth-eaten and covered in dust, just like everything else in the house. No one had lived here for a very long time. “Sam? Let’s go, okay?” begged Chris. He was shaking all over with fear while Sam looked around bright-eyed. “Oh, Chris, don’t be such a prat,” chided Sam. “We’ll only stay on the first floor. Besides, I don’t like the look of those stairs.” Chris had to agree. The grand staircase leading to the second floor was rotten and mouldy, not good for climbing. “Did you hear that?” asked Sam, her face lighting up like a lantern. “What?” asked Chris, straining his ears. Then he heard it. Crying. The crying of a young child. “Let’s go find the poor thing and see what’s wrong,” urged Sam, walking off YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 7 towards the sound. Chris followed reluctantly. They walked down the main hall, its walls filled with paintings of the people who used to live in the house. The portraits' eyes seemed to follow Sam and Chris. One in particular, a floor-to-ceiling portrait of an old lady with snow white hair and a ratty grey shawl draped about her thin shoulders, made them both stop and stare with disbelief. Leaning with her back against the lower part of the portrait was a shimmering white little girl, crying. “What’s wrong?” asked Sam, crouching down beside the child. She looked up at Sam and then to Chris, her pale eyes brimming with tears. “I want someone to play with,” she whimpered, her voice cute and sweet like a child actress from an old black-and-white Hollywood movie. “Will you play with me?” “Well... we can’t play right now, but how about tomorrow?” asked Chris. “Noooo... play now,” she pleaded in the same cute tone. “We’d like to. We really would, but we can’t,” said Sam, sadly. “THEN YOU SHALL PERISH!!” screamed the girl with chilling ferocity. Sam and Chris jumped to their feet and ran as fast as they could back down the hall past the strange portraits, past the crumbling staircase and out the front door. Once outside, Chris turned around expecting to see his sister close behind, but all he saw through the open door was the decaying old lace curtains blowing in the wind. Chris was the only one to make it out of that frightful place. And, although the experience remained as a terrifying memory he would rather forget, he vowed never to forget his brave sister. “At least,” he thought with some sense of comfort, “that little girl now has a playmate.” Tegan Gow, Age 13 8 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Broken Will Stella Ha, Age 14 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 9 Midnight Fright A gentle breeze blew from the far north, rustling the leaves on the trees. The lake surface shimmered under the light of the moon. I shivered at the sight of a wolf howling on the weatherworn cliff. The owls on the tree hooted with every step I was taking. The old bell tower hovered over me and started to chime. Midnight. Any minute now... There had been a lot of talk around our town about the spirit of Minas. My friend, Jenny, had dared me to go up to the lakeshore and stay there for a night. The lakeshore was now completely silent except for the wind once in a while. I spread out my sleeping bag on the sandy shore and waited for the spirit of Minas. Was she here? Creak, step, creak, creak. Something was there. I glanced from side to side and saw an eerie shadow in the nearby woods. My heart started to pound like a jackhammer: if anyone were to come along right now, they’d be hearing the loud thump, thump of my heartbeat. I wanted to scream and run, but my throat was caught and my muscles were so tense that moving around was almost impossible. I craned my neck, hoping to see who was there without being seen. There was nothing. I blamed my bizarre imagings. I was SO stupid. Creak, step, creak, creak. There it was again. That couldn’t be my imagination again, could it? I got up, turned on my flashlight to take a look in the woods. But, I accidentally stepped on a twig lying on the ground. Ahead, someone jumped up and screamed, as scared as I was. I looked more closely. Brown curls? It was no ghost. It was Jenny. I ran towards her. Branches stuck out from the trees. I had to slow down. I called out, reaching for Jenny. But every time I got closer, Jenny seemed farther away. The ground here was very muddy and slippery. I tumbled down, got up, slipped, got up, and fell again and again. Finally, I saw her crouched by a tree with her hands hugging her knees. I helped her to her feet, but all she did was make a strange sound: “arghh arghh.” She pointed behind me. I turned around, half expecting a spirit to jump out. But I was greeted by a silent lakeshore. I grinned. It was my friend’s illusion this time. But she kept uttering the strange noise. As I turned around for the last time, I saw a girl standing in front of me, her dark, wavy hair shining in the moonlight. Her big brown eyes stared back at me curiously. Her lips curled up in a small smile. We were there, just staring at each other for an unwavering moment until, I screamed out with all my might. But what came out was “arghh arghh…” Cindy Binyue Li, Age 12 10 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Truly Within I don’t wanna be alone anymore… Soft tapping sounds from the rain attacking the windowpanes compelled the silent figure to glance up. For a moment she considered just going back to doing what she’d been doing earlier – berating herself – but decided against it, and padded over instead to look out at the grey skies. Placing a palm onto the window’s glass, she watched as her quiet breaths steamed it up. Outside there was mostly darkness, but she could make out a light, floating above treetops that framed her window. Though she had already identified the spot of white amongst the black, she raised a hand to wipe clear her view, and pressed it on the other side of the light. The two hands bordered the large object. Blinking away the tears that had gathered earlier as she degraded herself, she peered into the depths of the night, confirming her guess. The moon shone brightly, full and complete. It seemed to her a beacon of hope, encouraging her to do what she knew she needed to do, though she had been too cowardly and stubborn before to do more than just think about and reject the notion. The next day she noticed that he carefully avoided her, not meeting her eyes if he had to glance in her direction, and shaking away his friends’ inquiries about his actions. Hesitating a moment, before bracing herself, she strode away from her own friends, walking up to him, looking much more confident and bold than she felt. I don’t wanna be alone anymore… she repeated silently. Reaching him, she let her gaze drop, and hung her head. From that position she saw him come near. When he paused, she forced herself to look into his confused eyes, and whispered, almost too quietly for him to hear, “I’m sorry.” His bewilderment only increased before it cleared from his face and a smile broke over. “I know,” he replied quietly as they embraced. Christine Ng, Age 13 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 11 Kevin Carter Kevin Carter won a Pulitzer for his unsettling photograph of an emaciated Sudanese girl being stalked by a vulture while struggling toward a food centre. Carter didn’t help the girl. Two months after receiving the prize, he committed suicide. No one ever knew if the girl had reached her destination. No one could see her – no one ever saw her, even when she had been alive. She was almost free. Just one more thing needed to be accomplished before she could be at rest. A vulture landed a little bit away from her, and stared at her unblinkingly with inscrutable eyes. She was invisible, but this thing looked at her as if she wasn’t. Perhaps it was dead too. Triggered by the bird, mortal memories rushed back: dry abrasive ground that she had dragged herself across to reach the food centre; the blurriness of her vision; the way her stomach had twisted, feeling as if it was digesting itself since nothing else was available. A hand planted itself on her shoulder, and she spun around, surprised. The man’s long face seemed somewhat familiar – perhaps she had known him in her other life. No, that was impossible. Her father was still alive. Somewhere. Mother told her so. Her mother never told lies. She was dead as well, but the girl hadn’t seen her yet. The man’s face was contorted with an emotion she knew well: agony. He held, in his free hand – the one not on her shoulder – a prize of some kind. She didn’t know what it was. “I’m sorry,” he told her, “I’m really, really sorry.” She turned and looked at the vulture wordlessly, compelled by something she couldn’t describe, and he turned along with her. She could tell he was horrified; she knew that emotion just as well. He started to cough, dry hacking coughs, and dropped the prize. When he stopped shaking, he started to wave his arm angrily at the vulture in an attempt to shoo it away, hitting the bird. The bird snatched the man’s prize with its beak, vengeful. The man stepped forward, his arm removing itself from the girl’s shoulder. She felt frozen, filled with dread, and a whimper escaped her trembling lips. The man turned, stared at her. The vulture paused in mid-takeoff. The man’s gaze travelled between the two of them, and it was as if time stopped. As he turned toward the bird, she felt her non-existent heart palpitate. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again, to the vulture this time. Then he leaned down and scooped the girl up, walking away. They came into view of the food centre; the girl leapt out of his arms – she realized that she had completed the task! She saw her mother’s silhouette in the 12 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 doorway and ran towards her. When the girl finally looked back, no one was there anymore. She wasn’t worried, however — she knew his journey, like hers, had finally come to an end. ZheShu Xiao, Age 13 Peace After a Battle Johnny Choi, Age 14 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 13 The End of The World As one thinks of consequences of our natural resource consuming, environment destroying, wasteful lifestyle, there are many ways in which we can “screw ourselves over.” Think about it. The United States has enough firepower to blow up the earth seven times; Russia has enough to blow up the world four times. Seems kind of stupid, doesn’t it? There’s only one planet, so how on earth are we going to be able to blow it up 11 times? Meanwhile, as the Russians and Americans stand scratching their heads wondering what to do with the nukes they’ve buried under their countries, A. Q. Khan has created a nuclear arms black market, dealing supplies needed to make “the bomb” to North Korea, Libya and Iran. So in a few years, we’ll probably be able to blow ourselves up 12 times. And speaking of North Korea, after 20 years or so of government corruption and starving its population, it has finally achieved its own nuclear bomb, which is “strictly for defence purposes.” Well, in the state that the country’s in, who the hell would want to attack it? To make matters worse, the most powerful nation in the world is being led by a trigger-happy idiot, Mr. George W. Bush. Perhaps it’s a strong opinion, but in three years, he’s started two wars. Furthermore, he let Osama bin Laden slip away from his hole in the mountains to chase after Saddam Hussein and his oil. So what does Mr. President have at the end of all this? A dictator that couldn’t have done anything to America, and some oil pipelines that are constantly being sabotaged. So let’s just say that by some act of God we don’t manage to blow ourselves up. That leaves two options: either our greenhouse gas emitting lifestyles will cause the earth to retain so much heat from the sun that we eventually fry ourselves, or such a high concentration of gases will cause a major climate shift that brings about another ice age. Again, we can put most of the blame on Uncle Sam. As the world’s largest producer of greenhouse gases, America refused to take part in the Kyoto Protocol. If we could tap into the thoughts of our neighbours south of the border, they’d probably run along the lines of “Oh Gosh! We’re killing the planet. But that doesn’t matter. We’re Americans. We’ll just blow ourselves up right before global warming kills us.” However, the United States isn’t the only one at fault. China has just recently surpassed the United States in the consumption of steel and coal. But China probably doesn’t care either. The Chinese train of thought probably goes: “As soon as global warming starts to be dangerous, the Americans will just blow us up.” Which brings us back to the outrageously large supply of nukes in the world. No matter how one thinks about it, life these days continues in a vicious cycle. Build factories, use factories to build bombs, use bombs to start wars. There’s not a chance in hell that the Americans, Russians, Pakistanis, and even the Chinese will give up their bombs, and as long as a country’s making money, its factories 14 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 aren’t going to shut down. Basically, we’ve got a choice between Armageddon and Thermageddon. Billy Zhao, Age 14 Worth a Thousand Words ZheShu Xiao, Age 13 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 15 Learning to Cope With Being a Malfunction Magnet Dear Reader, Are you familiar with the term “malfunction magnet?” The proper definition may run along the lines of “person or object that usually has technology and/or machines malfunction around them,” but I define that with only two letters. Yes, only two letters: “m” and “e.” You may now gasp loudly with feigned surprise. And let’s face it: you may also be a malfunction magnet, only up till now you’ve been in denial. But rest assured, with the help of this short passage, you will feel as comfortable about being a malfunction magnet as I am. Just think of this as a visit to a shrink, who will teach you the Holy Trinity of feeling better about being a malfunction magnet. Rule Number One (and this is the most important rule): Always blame the machine. Remember, it isn’t your fault that a computer was built by an incompetent fool. I mean, what could you, the user, have done to a computer (short of dropping it out the second-story window) to have it crash on you a week after you’ve bought it? Rule Number Two: Never try to fix anything yourself. Fixing anything related to technology yourself always results in disaster. Think about it: you have no idea why it broke in the first place, so how on earth are you going to fix it? Furthermore, you’ve already identified yourself as a malfunction magnet, wouldn’t it be wiser to not touch the broken machine? In addition, by not touching anything, you’ll be able to honour Rule Number One: you can lay all the blame of your misfortunes on the machine. Rule Number Three: Only buy machines that your friends have bought and have had good experiences with. There’s no sense in taking a risk buying a new product that hasn’t been consumer tested. Besides, being a malfunction magnet, chances are that you will break the latest gadget that no one else has. Like adding insult to injury, none of your friends can tell you what to do, because they’ve never seen your new toy. To summarize this third rule, it’s good to follow the bandwagon. There you have it: the Holy Trinity of malfunctionalism. Follow these three golden rules, and I’ll guarantee you that the failure of some dumb machine will never give you a down day. Please don’t thank me for this incredible load that I’ve taken off your shoulders by means of this ‘how to cope’ article. Us malfunction magnets have to stick together and look out for each other. However, if you, dear reader, are so overwhelmed with gratitude, I do accept donations of $10 to Billy Zhao’s Fund For Unfortunate Malfunction Magnets. Billy Zhao, Age 14 16 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 The Enigmatic Smile (self-portrait) Khushi Chachcha, Age 13 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 17 PROSE: AGE 15 –16 Revealed She plummets downward, wind fiercely whipping at her face. She goes so fast she can only make out blurs of skyscrapers and dots resembling faces that will witness her horrible fate. She can’t hear anything but her heart racing. She doesn’t understand what she’s feeling; fear, sadness, remorse, anger… relief? Is this what it has really come to? Life wasn’t that bad for her — there were her good days and then her bad. She had to admit that lately it was mostly the bad. Having to juggle school, work and taking care of her siblings while her mom went out on dates was all too much. When her mom went on a date she’d normally come home the afternoon after, usually hung over and sometimes even high. It didn’t help that her dad was never around to help out with anything, more so — support them financially like he should be. Instead, he’s in California, living with a girl who is practically old enough to be her older sister (but possesses the intelligence and maturity of a 12-year-old). For the most part, she was a good kid; before high school, at least. She was on the honour roll with an 85 percent average and even received the academic, music and female athlete awards at her elementary school graduation. She also was an active member of the community, involved in many fund-raisers and summer day camps. Once high school hit, nothing seemed to matter anymore. Her grades managed to slip very quickly and she began developing bad habits. She’d even talk back to teachers and engage in lengthy arguments with them. She’d been suspended a few times for that; and other things. The good-girl gone bad. Just yesterday, she took coke for the first time, hoping it would relieve some of her tension and make her life even remotely enjoyable. So this was her life flashing before her eyes, not a single happy memory; just the crap that was going on. She got closer and closer to the ground; hearing the crowd below shrieking in terror and… …she woke up in a cold sweat. All cozy in her pink room, on her queen-sized bed, underneath her big, white duvet comforter. She looked at her alarm clock; two hours earlier than she normally would have awakened. “That was just a dream?” she asked herself in awe. She sighed, and got out of bed to begin her day. Lorraine Blas, Age 16 18 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Subway Crowd Malcolm Loo, Age 14 Pain Forgotten Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong, bong. The grandfather clock finally seemed a worthwhile invention as its short, timerelated announcement echoed through the long corridors and multiple rooms of the Allson family mansion, one of the most expensive estates in Toronto. The clock had chimed six o’clock in the evening – dinnertime. Fifteen-year-old Erica Allson hastily closed her books, rubbed the tiredness out of her eyes and ran quickly through the dimly lit hallways to answer the call of hunger. As Erica glided down the spiralling staircase, her mind raced with ideas for the family conversation at dinner. It was Saturday evening; her parents would be at home in time for dinner. She decided to talk about school – her day’s achievements would make her parents proud. She would tell her father how she received top score on the math midterms. She would tell her mother how her drama teacher had praised her profusely; told her to consider a career on Broadway! Erica’s pale, flawless face brightened in expression as the thought slowly fashioned a grin on the usually stone-like features. “Dad will smile his warmest smile, and Mom’s eyes will twinkle as they focus on me,” Erica whispered to herself, her heart bursting with anticipation. When Erica entered into the dining hall, all her imaginings dissolved before her eyes as she saw that the long polished dinner table was set for only one. Her YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 19 face was instantaneously masked with a serene, authoritative appearance, but her eyes flashed in anger, hurt and despair. The happiness within her disappeared without a trace. “Albert,” she addressed the manservant standing nearby, with a cool, commanding tone. “I believe there is to be three for dinner today.” “I’m sorry, Miss,” Albert replied quietly, “but your parents called in saying they would eat out with each other tonight.” “I see,” Erica responded with a calm smile. “Thank you, Albert.” She stood motionless for a minute. The servants standing in attendance held their breaths awaiting the outburst of rage, but it did not come; instead, Erica turned around and walked stiffly out of the room. Ten years of etiquette lessons had won out, forcing her to use every ounce of energy in her body to refrain from grabbing and smashing each breakable piece of dinnerware on the expensive hardwood floor. Flicking on the light of the bathroom near the dining hall, she stared into the large mirror above the sink. She beheld a tall, skinny girl with a fair complexion accentuated by dark hair and piercing, sapphire-coloured eyes. One thought crossed Erica’s mind: was she really so repellent that her parents would refuse to eat one dinner a week with their only daughter? Erica slammed her fist on the countertop, struggling to bottle up the anger and hurt inside as she had always done in the past; this was not the first time her parents had been the source of her disappointment: when and how will she forget? The bathroom remained silent, as her reflection could not give an answer. Erica darted out of the bathroom towards the front door; she snatched her winter coat and joined the blizzard in the outer milieu. The wind swept snowflakes forcefully across her face as she proceeded onto the street, but she did not mind. She welcomed the coldness, the billowing winds; the rage of the storm was so complete it eased her pain and extinguished her anger. Every part of her body was numb from the cold and fatigue, and her stomach growled due to its emptiness. The will to live still blazed in her soul, and her mind told her it was time to return home. As Erica turned to try to retrace her steps, she walked unknowingly onto a sheet of ice. Within seconds she slipped, and blackness engulfed her as she fell into unconsciousness. Hours later, Erica awoke in a warm, brightly lit room. She was lying on her back on a stiff hospital bed and her head was bandaged. She lay very still, listening to the soft words exchanged outside her door. One man she had guessed was the doctor, speaking comforting, bass tones. “She has suffered nothing lifethreatening, only amnesia.” Then suddenly her door opened and in stepped a man and a woman, while the doctor hovered in the corridor. Erica’s strength was drained, but curiosity won out in the end. She raised her body and lifted her hand to greet them both with a handshake, while her face took on a cool, grim smile, and said, “Hello. My name 20 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 is… my name is… I’m sorry, but I don’t remember.” She paused, confused; then she spoke again. “Forgive me if I seem bold, but who are you?” “James Allson,” replied the man, “and this is my wife, Elaine.” “Oh.” She turned her questioning eyes to the distraught couple. The woman broke into uncontrollable sobs, while the man wrapped his arms around her. Erica continued to stare, unmoved by any emotion. She no longer knew anger, disappointment or hurt in her life, only peace and puzzlement. Catherine Chan, Age 15 The Sound of Happiness Lisa Meng, Age 16 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 21 A New World Sai Paranjape, Age 15 Silence Thunder shakes the house and fear washes over me. I feel the worst because I see no rain. I glance at the window. Yes, there is no rain. Then why is there thunder? I bewilder, in my cold, makeshift bed. I receive no answer. The house holds; deadly still. I console myself. There was too much to die for and too little to live for. An explosion rips open the blackened sky and I hear the screams. Too near yet too distant. I block my ears. I knew it couldn’t be helped. It wouldn’t be helped. It was hopeless. My ears start hurting and tears streak down my face. Then I hear nothing more. I see the screams, yet no sound comes. I know what has happened. Unable to move, unable to understand my loss, I let sleep and exhaustion engulf me knowing that more blood has been spilled. I feel the morning sunlight wash over my face and I open my eyes. I smell the morning dew but it smells different. It smells like Father’s cigarette after I have stepped on it a few times. I smell the earth, but realize it’s the ashes that make the smell. “Ashes of what?” I wonder, and then I remember. I remember the previous night. How a blackened sky had ripped open into light, spewing dancing fire everywhere. I remember the fear and the sensation overpowers me. I shiver. 22 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 I wait for someone to call me from the kitchen. I wait and wait, yet no one calls. I glance out the window. I see charred ruins next to my house. I see women crying and children screaming, yet they are silent. I see men separating the burnt boards and digging. One man pulls on something. I see him gasp. I look and also gasp. The man is pulling a hand. A charred, blackened hand. I see the men praying, and the women wailing. Yet to me, the world has become silent. Sarah Ghazi, Age 16 Son of a Broken Man I jump in just as the door slams shut. The tight, cramped space of the closet is not large enough for a full-grown man to fit in, but we fit – just barely, but we fit. I touch Ben’s hot, wet cheek. He is struggling to smother his cries of pain. His cheek is still burning from the slap. I do what I can to soothe his pain. I stroke his face and hair, making quiet comforting noises. “HEY BOY! Where are you? If you have time to hide, you should use it to practice!” I wish that drunken man would leave Ben alone. Ben is just a child. That man has always criticized Ben for being small. How can Ben help it if he’s smaller and thinner than other boys? Ben’s father often describes his son as weak, but Ben has talents that more than make up for his small stature. Ben is hugging me tightly, keeping still and quiet. His blue eyes are full of fear. They are red and swollen from all his crying. His pale skin, though one couldn’t really tell in the darkness of the closet, is marred by a red mark on his left, tearstained cheek. More loud bellows boom like thunder just outside the closet door. Ben is shaking as if the words are echoing right to his bones. He looks like he is about ready to burst out of the closet and run, but salvation comes. The man’s words are beginning to slur together. The loud bellowing becomes mere mumbling and then a loud heavy thud signals the falling of a large body. The angry words are replaced by loud snoring. The man has finally passed out. Ben relaxes a little bit. “Oh Bell, I’m so sorry. Daddy is so mad at me. I didn’t do well today.” His voice is barely a whisper. His voice is so frail it makes me want to cry. I wish I could take away his pain. I wish I could take Ben away from here. But, alas, I can’t. “I was a finalist at the recital today. The notes were all perfect, but the last song. I played the wrong notes. I couldn’t make up my mistake. Everything was ruined. I can’t believe I lost, Bell. Daddy is so mad! He was counting on me and I let him down. All that practice for nothing.” Poor Ben. If I could, I would chase that drunken fool out the door. He always YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 23 did put too much pressure on Ben and now Ben thinks it is his fault. That stupid man, he had his dreams broken, and so he forces his son to make up for his lack of talent. Does he plan to break his son, also? “Bell, Daddy went out again today. He came home early.” Ben’s tears begin to fall again. I hush him. He doesn’t need to tell me. I know what happened. I was there but I couldn’t help Ben. That man left Ben at home and went off without even a goodbye. He came home when Ben had just finished his song, the same song he couldn’t play at the recital. When that man came home, I could feel there was something wrong. I saw him and knew that there was no mistake; he was drunk. I had escaped his notice but Ben had not. That hateful man went into a mad frenzy and screamed in mad rage. The next thing I knew, Ben was scrambling away, clutching his cheek and crying. Oh Ben, you deserve so much better. “Bell, maybe Daddy will be better when he wakes up. Daddy sometimes feels better after sleeping.” Ben is so naïve, so small and innocent. “When Daddy is feeling better, he’ll tell me he’s proud of me.” I can’t even remember the last time Ben’s father said that. “Bell, Daddy loves me, I know it.” That stabbed my heart. Every word of false hope seemed to be increasing in confidence. Ben, don’t you see? How could that man treat someone he loved the way he treated you? Your father is just a broken man without a soul. Ben curls up on the floor of the closet and wraps the clothes around him. He falls asleep and I know there is little I can do for him. I cannot stop him from believing his father loves him. I cannot protect him from his father. But there is one thing I can do for him tonight. I open the closet door slightly and sneak out. I carefully shut the door behind me, not waking the sleeping father or son. No one hears my footsteps as I prowl around the large body and stop at the leg furthest from the closet door. You deserve this! I sink my claws into the flesh and pull. The scream that follows is not something uncommon. I’ve done this often enough. The man wakes up and whirls around to face me. “Bell! Get out of here you stupid cat!” Linda Li, Age 15 24 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Treasure Chest Sky It was getting dark, too dark to continue. Resigned, I threw aside my backpack and collapsed onto a thick, powdery layer of snow. The night air was brisk and prickled the insides of my lungs. Still I breathed deeply, letting the chilly winter air flood into my lungs, filling me with a peculiar sense of relaxation. I let my eyes close and let the darkness consume me. After a few minutes, a chill began to run through my body and so I decided it was time to get up and set up a tent for the night. Having used up the last of my energy setting up the tent, I thought sleep would come to me instantaneously. However, the sweet allure of sleep could not work its magic on me this night. After having tossed around in bed for a bit of time, I decided to abandon the thought of sleep for a while and just sit under the canopy of stars. As I left the tent, a blast of refreshing arctic wind fully brought me to my senses. Staring upwards, I was shocked to see countless shimmering stars on an empty black canvas. Slowly, the seemingly random stars formed into the shapes of the constellations. Almost directly overhead is the queen of the autumn and winter sky, Cassiopeia. Not that Cassiopeia enjoyed being there; the ancient gods had chained her upside down on her throne and placed her in the sky as punishment for her boastfulness. Not far at her side is her husband and king, Cepheus. Along with the king and queen, I noted that Andromeda the princess, Cetus the whale, Pegasus the winged horse and Perseus the hero, the other characters in the autumn sky opera, are still in the sky. I turned to the north and there some familiar creatures lurked. Chasing each other around the celestial pole are the bears, Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. Not far from the two bears is the tumultuous dragon named Draco. With such fearsome creatures battling for space in the northern sky, a peacekeeper is needed in the area to keep the beasts from unleashing chaos in the heavens. Keeping a stern watch on Draco and the two bears is law bringer of heaven, Hercules. As I swivelled my head to the opposite sky, I saw another famous constellation floating above the horizon. Orion the hunter is out again tonight, looking for animals to hunt. He doesn’t have to look very had to find a creature to slay. Directly in front of the hunter is the rampaging bull, Taurus. Taurus is a worthy challenge for Orion, I think to myself. In case Orion may need any help, his hunting dogs, Canis Major and Canis Minor are just a step behind him. Along with the hotheaded bull, other zodiac constellations in the sky right now are Aries the ram, Pisces the fishes, Gemini the twins, Cancer the crab and Leo the lion. Captivated by such treasures the night sky has to offer, any remaining thoughts of sleep soon evaded me. The sky seemed like a treasure chest full of wonderful celestial stories. “Treasure chest sky,” I whispered to myself and beamed. So while the world slept, I was alone and awake, avidly retelling the stories of sky to myself. Jason Liu, Age 16 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 25 Chapter #1: Light of Evil Mary Zhao, Age 15 26 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 In a Darkened Alley “The meaning of life is –” began Zeke, closing his eyes and spreading his arms wide. He nearly toppled off the edge of the dumpster he was perched on. “Oh, give it up, Zeke,” snapped Lois, lighting a cigarette. She finished counting the change she had scrounged that day and slipped it into her coat pocket. “But we need to look past this hole,” Zeke pleaded. “There’s a better place out there somewhere!” “Face it, Zeke, there isn’t. Not for us.” “Don’t start again,” mumbled Dean, voice muffled by the bundle of rags he was using as a pillow, “I’m trying to sleep.” A hollow wind blew down the narrow alley. After several moments, Zeke burst out: “Just look at this place! How can we live here?” “We’ve lived here a long time,” remarked Lois calmly, slowly exhaling cigarette smoke. She tucked her ratty blanket tighter around her thin legs. From the open kitchen door of a restaurant came a crash as a platter was dropped. Curses echoed through the night. “You know, I ain’t seen stars before,” Zeke murmured, moving from the dumpster to sit beside Lois. He leaned his back on the brick wall behind them and picked up a cigarette. “All these bright city lights hide ’em.” “No big loss,” Lois said, eyes closed. Zeke turned to the cluster of rags that was Dean. “Have you seen stars before?” “Nope.” Dean’s voice was thick with sleep. “Mountains?” “Nope.” There was a grim silence until Zeke murmured, “There ain’t nothing for us, you know? There’s gotta be something somewhere else.” “I’m tryin’ to sleep, man,” Dean groaned, rolling over. Zeke ignored him and continued, “There’s something for everyone in this world. And that means us, too.” Voices, angry and urgent, burst out from the restaurant kitchens. Another crash of tinkling glass shattered the alley’s stillness, followed by more cursing. Lois tossed her cigarette butt into the gloom and lit another, letting out a smoky sigh. She snuggled against Zeke and whispered, “I wish you were right, Zeke. But we ain’t much of anything so there ain’t much out there for us. It’s a rich man’s world.” Zeke smiled sadly into the darkness and put his arm around her. Past the alley, the busy main street rushed with honking cars, yawning buses and flashing lights. Nearby, a pair of glowing raccoon eyes stared at him, then ducked out of sight. Zeke closed his eyes and murmured, “The meaning of life might not be in YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 27 this alley, but it’s somewhere, and someday I’m gonna find it.” Somewhere above them, beyond the dark alley, invisible stars twinkled in the blanket of the night sky. Emily Paskevics, Age 16 With Closed Eyes She stood silently outside, in the loud blur of bright lights and unwanted questions. Flashbacks of most recent horrors dwelled in her mind. She shivered as the doctors picked up a stretcher and rolled it into the truck, topped with a body she knew so well. “There’s nothing you could do,” Dr. Watson reassured her. A single tear trickled down her cheek. “I’m sorry. We did all we could.” But I didn’t do all I could. I let her die. If only I took the keys, and drove instead of her… But I let her drive. I let my sister, my best friend, die because of me. That dream has been haunting me forever. That nightmare had driven me to insanity. A horrible truth which I’ll never be ready to embrace. Ever since she died three months ago, the same damn thoughts pierced my ears, blinded my already dark mind, and wounded my heart over and over again, each time more painful than the last… It just never stopped hurting me. The memories were all around me. They hurt. It hurt every time I walked past her room, with adorable stickers and pictures of us taped on her door. I never even dared to enter it after she died. I remembered old promises we weren’t able to keep, like getting a boyfriend just for fun or losing three pounds before Christmas. I started working on that a month ago, after I realized that she’s not coming back. I had lost 27 pounds since then, but I didn’t want to stop. I needed something I could have control over. I was slipping at school, mostly because I was barely there; I got horrible mood swings and lost it every time someone mentioned her… My best friend, my mirror-twin, Catherine… I loved her more than life and, since she left me, life was just a black hole I was unable to break from. It was like an empty shell, where everyone was just so fake and wrapped up in their fabrication, spitting out forged sympathy about her death. School just wasn’t the same since Catherine died. It wasn’t the people around me, though. It was I alone. I opened my eyes, aware that I was once again covered in icy sweat. After a quick shower I looked at my bony physique. With my six-feet height the skin on my body seemed to stretch tightly over the skeleton, hugging every muscle. I knew I had gone far enough. But it didn’t really matter to me anymore. It didn’t 28 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 matter that all of my clothes were three sizes too big on me, or that I had made myself ugly. Catherine and I used to be beautiful. Everyone said so. Everyone stopped after she died, and I started to ruin myself. I decided to once again skip school and go to three guys whose minds were filled with ‘the significance of reproduction.’ I had never talked to them before Catherine. They seemed like the wrong crowd to me, but at this time they seemed more appealing than ever. I met up with the guys soon. They once again offered me drinks. I didn’t want to take them, but they were harder on me this time, pressing against the fact that I looked depressed and needed something to cheer me up. Nothing could ever cheer me up; nevertheless I grabbed the vodka bottle and took a sip. I heard them urging me on in the background, so I continued drinking. By the end of the day the drink captivated me. I was swinging the bottle from side to side in a helpless haze. I had never drunk before. I never wanted to start, and it was no different today. I hated it. I hated the feeling of cold glass clasped in my hand. I despised the cold liquid burning my insides. I hated the fact that I couldn’t hate it. “I’m going… home now!” I blurted out, my sentence being torn apart by a sharp breath. I took another gulp from the almost-empty bottle, once again feeling the strong alcohol taste explode in my mouth. “Maybe you shouldn’t… You’ve had too much to drink!” one of the guys, whose name I wasn’t even able to remember anymore, warned me. I waved my hand at him and slid behind the wheel of my car and started the engine, barely being able to see the road from my fogged up vision. I glanced at the rear-view mirror and noticed my own ghost-like pale face, mascara smudged under my tired eyes, my hair bungled on my head. I felt my insides turn as I sat down. A sick desire to vomit rolled over me. But I didn’t care. I stepped on the gas. She stood silently outside, in the loud blur of bright lights and unwanted questions. Flashbacks of most recent horrors dwelled in her mind. She shivered as the doctors picked up a stretcher and rolled it into the truck, topped with a body she knew so well. She watched her second daughter being taken to the morgue. Ksenia Stassiouk, Age 15 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 29 The Mirror Kate Dover thought ‘her mirror’ would never lie to her. But what happens when her obsession goes overboard? In Kate’s mind she was fat. She’d tell herself so while standing in front of her mirror every morning. Her mother always commented on how beautiful she looked, but she never took those compliments well. “I’m so fat, Mom!” she’d cry. And her mother, as always, would just sigh and shake her head. “You’re not fat, Kate!” she’d calmly say under her breath, knowing fully if she said it aloud another conflict would arise. And today was no different. Kate’s mother stood outside her door as she was looking at herself apprehensively in the mirror. “Wow! You look great!” she said amazed, walking into her room. “Are ya going somewhere, sexy?” “Yup, Lydia’s. We’re going to the movies.” “Cool! Well, have a good time!” She paused to look at her daughter, then said jokingly, “Jeez, I don’t want to let you out of the house looking that good! Who knows what’s going to line up behind you, trying to get some!?” “Not funny,” Kate said sternly. Kate’s mom looked at her daughter with anxiety. “For the love of God, Kate! What’s wrong with you? Can you not take a simple joke?” She shook her head. She’d had enough of it. For the past three years Kate had been moody and full of attitude. Months of counselling had done nothing but to make Kate stubborn. “You know what Kate, go out and have your fun! And I don’t care if you ever come home again! I’m so sick of you complaining that you’re fat! When clearly, YOU’RE NOT!” she yelled at her daughter as she stormed away. Kate ran out of the house yelling, “FINE! I WON’T!” As Kate sprinted to Lydia’s house, her mind was racing. The mirror never lies! I am fat, she told herself. And who was her mother to tell her otherwise? When Lydia answered the door, she took no notice of Kate’s preoccupied state. “Yo, Kate, you got cash, right?” “Yeah,” Kate sighed heavily. “What’s up?” Lydia suddenly asked. “I’m so fat, Lydia!” Kate replied. “What? Not again…” Lydia sighed. “Kate, you’re not fat!” “Yes, I am, Lydia! The mirror never lies!” Kate was adamant. “The mirror?” Lydia questioned. “Come on, Kate, if you lose any more weight, I’ll lose you in the wind,” she joked. “Not funny, Lydia!” Kate yelled. “Whoa, sorry… pinched a nerve there,” Lydia said mockingly. “You don’t understand, Lydia…” Kate began. “I don’t understand? Who has been here for you since you started to lose 30 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 weight, Kate? What is going on in that thick skull of yours? Me, of all people, know what you’re going through, and you’re telling me I don’t understand? God damn you, Kate!” Lydia slammed the door in Kate’s face. All Kate could do was cry. The mirror lied this time…Kate. Laura Taylor, Age 15 Long Travels Adela Rexha, Age 16 The Man with the Pursed Lips The aged man sits in the mushroom-coloured chair that dwells in a dim corner of his drawing room, hiding behind a veil of shadows. The cloth of the chair is greasy and stained, but it moulds to his body and he will sit nowhere else. His lips are slightly parted, his broad nose is creased and his wide, black eyes are closed as he softly hums his favourite tune. It is a sad song; a lonely one, and the steady drumming of the grandfather clock opposite him only highlights its cheerless nature. In his lap, resting on his skeletal knees, lies a scrapbook from his youth. It is open, its bare interior exposed to the cool breeze of the room. The man opens his eyes and runs his coarse fingertips over the stiffened, yellow pages. He fingers the edges of the photographs and outlines the figures in them, as if painting a picture. His picture is pregnant with passion, but his brittle fingers YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 31 ache and quiver and, in spite of his efforts, the picture is flawed. He has become frustrated, but the lovely figures are a flame to the moths in his fingertips and he continues to paint. The old man pushes up his large, round glasses and stabs his nose into the photographs. Striking women smile at him, revealing strings of milky pearls from behind their fleshy lips. He is dancing with them, his trousers ironed to perfection and his polished hair glistening. He is youthful and handsome in the pictures, and unshakable. A single hair on his head would not have been stirred by the most powerful storm. Now the old man must envelop himself in a blanket for every paltry wisp of air that incidentally finds its way into the room. The elderly man tires of the women and, licking his index finger, flips to the following page. This is a photograph of courage and adventure. Our man is standing in a grassy field with an army of soldiers. Their uniforms are crisp and their badges gleam in the sunlight. He wears the look of pride; of belonging. The man feels a flame rising through his abdomen and erupting in his cheeks, bringing life to their wilted spirit. He closes the scrapbook, restoring it to the coffee table beside him. His eyes well up and a tear inches down his cheek, finally nestling in the crease of his mouth. The water moistens his thin, dried lips as it pushes through the folds of skin, desperate in its attempt to reach the tepid dampness of his tongue. The man, however, purses his lips; he has grown weary of the salty taste. Such shameless tears appear much too often and he has tired of them. The water dries up, dying in the desert of his lips and his cheeks return to their withered state. But only until the next night when the aged man will continue with a new page; a new memory. Vanja Vukosavljevic, Age 16 Dripping with Rage Angst. Rage. Fury. For a teenager, I express these emotions surprisingly infrequently. There are very few things that make my blood boil. However, there is one injustice that I face on a daily basis, which causes me to uncharacteristically explode. It is not a person who mistreats me, nor is it a serious issue in my life with which I must deal. My sworn enemy lives at my high school, silently waiting and grinning sneakily, anxiously awaiting its chance to torture me each day. My nemeses are the sinks in my school’s bathrooms — and in the battles they wage against me, somehow, they always win. These daily struggles are completely inevitable for me. Medical studies have proven the benefits of drinking substantial amounts of water daily and I strive to consume at least a litre per day. So, my meetings with the school bathrooms and thus the sinks are frequent and necessary. The hand-washing stations wouldn’t be so dangerous if our school had at least opted for the type of sink found in most homes. Those are a more docile model with knobs to turn the faucet on and off. 32 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Sadly, this is not the case at my school. Our sinks are semi-circular basins with water streaming in all directions from a metal disc overtop. They are operated by a pipe that encircles the bottom of the basin and which one steps on to turn on the water. The benefit of this hands-free model is that one doesn’t need to touch any bacteria-infested knobs. However, in my opinion, the consequences of hands-free sinks are dire. The problem is, if one steps on the pipe to turn on the water too hard, instead of streaming nicely into the basin, the water loses all control and splashes its way ferociously onto innocent bystanders like myself. I don’t understand hydraulics, but I know that it’s not the water’s fault. Equally, I can’t blame the people operating the sink because the pressure required to work the sinks varies from day to day. The only thing I can really blame every time I am drenched is the shoddy manufacturing of the sink itself. I have tried to take out my rage on these misleading devices, but it has only made me wetter. All too often, I shuffle back to class shamefully looking as if I’d had a little ‘accident’ while I was out. I have discovered that I have no hope in my valiant battle against the school bathroom sinks. And so, until the fateful day when I graduate from Grade 12, I will learn to grin and bear it — and become better friends with the hand-drying machines. Shoshana Wasser, Age 16 The Springside in My Dream Zhen Hua (Mark) Xiong, Age 15 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 33 PROSE: AGE 17–19 Grey Since those minutes inside the wall, I’ve imagined that the dead lose every sense except hearing. — Anne Michaels Why hold onto ‘hearing’ of all the five senses? It is simply because without sight, one cannot observe the horrors caused by humans, without taste, one does not realize the hunger, without feeling, one cannot suffer through the pain like numbing needles, and without smell, one cannot sense the stench of dead bodies or the suffocating bomb smoke. The candour may strike an odd note. Yet, in the mythology of war, our men are never beset by elemental fear, but instead, somehow paralysed by it. The scene of no man’s land was that of deadly desperation. Hands full and weighted down by the heavy burden of their arms. The thing that bothers me the most is that the people who decided to fight are never here and will never know what it is like to kill a man, or feel pain and suffering from hunger and the absence of love. This is the paradigm of fear. Of having to think that if you don’t kill first, you are going to be killed. The ground is like an abstract canvas that changes with every tremor. It has been painted on with humans, stamped upon by tanks, grenades and sprinkled with bullets and shells. Matters don’t appear black or white, but grey, which is not to be mistaken for the darkness itself. The darkness is the release, but the grey is more sombre like the fear before the moment of release, like a suicide afraid of dying. That is what we are. Although it is daytime, the smouldering residue, rising from the land and falling from above, meets in the centre of the sky where collision occurs like atoms in a compound. Much like how we men are on opposite sides, ready for collision, but on a greater scale. I don’t want to believe that I am not so much behind the wall as I am under it as if it were my tombstone devoid of etchings except that of blood. Salomeh Ahmadi, Age 17 34 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Don't Hate, Appreciate You know what’s seriously humorous, the fact that females run off their mouths about other females. Hatin’ on them because they look and act better than them. Have you ever had these kniving females disrespecting you, brushing you in the streets for no apparent reason. Well, you see it’s time they learn the real meaning of “GET A LIFE.” Females who consistently waste their time conversing about you or harassing you is just showing you that you’re worth their precious time. It’s sad, sickening and just plain pathetic. However, the really ironic and funny thing about these females is that they’re the ones who’s either tied down, uneducated or jobless. I say that their pathetic insecurity is the main cause for this. If these females just had the right self-confidence, they wouldn’t be harassing you physically or verbally. The envy and self-pity that these females bottle up inside honestly disgust me. I am revolted at females that take the time to analyze you meticulously to make you feel insecure and them feel good. You know the ‘issue’ is extremely difficult to comprehend. I mean are these females hatin’ because you’re fit, or is it gear, or is it just because you’ve been blessed with beauty that they envy so much? Or is it just a form of stupidity that’s gripping the females in our society? Eighteen-year-old Kimiya takes on a serious approach to this. She tells her story of how her best female friends turned out to be her worst enemies. She says: as I walk down my neighbourhood dressed to kill, I glance over to my right and recognize a few of my former high-school dropout friends. I wave and all three of them have the nerve to smirk my way trying to degrade me by calling me the famous word BITCH. I realize that envy and jealousy have really taken a toll on these females. So I bluntly glance at the baby strollers sitting next to my former friends and laugh. Because I realize that I’m one of the rare educated virgins in the area living under these vital circumstances. So instead of ending up like Latoya, Karen, Maria and Wendy I grin and keep abstinent to the idea of my self-confidence. Because I don’t have the time or patience to aggravate myself over childish and immature matters. Well, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter. So to all those females who are positive, trying to accomplish something in life and not trying to hurt nobody, keep your head up. Respect yourself and be optimistic towards life no matter how despicable females can be toward you. I’ve come to the conclusion that we are all females so where is the love? Where is the love? Aren’t we all supposed to protect and praise each other? Let’s not hate each other girls, let’s try to make peace, appreciate and accept females for what they are. Temaj Bashsa, Age 17 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 35 Childhood Igor Sinitar, Age 17 36 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 The Lilac Bush It is spring, I see the delicate blossoms of the apple tree cascade down to my unsandalled feet. It feels lovely to be free – to have no boundaries or expectations. We are free, you and I. It is morning. On the old garage door a spider’s web glistens. Dewdrops cling to the silvery threads. The sweet smell of the purple blossoms draws me closer and closer toward the flowers. The heavenly fragrance intensifies with each step. The powerful scent transforms my coherent thoughts into delusions. I remember, years ago, when my sisters and I were children, we would play together under the lilac bush. We were young and naïve. We believed in fairy tales. All of that is now lost. A tear runs down my cheek, like a drop of dew. You wipe it away. We do not speak, you and I; but I can tell, through your loving brown eyes, that it is not all lost. Gently, you brush away some topsoil and leaves. There sit small chairs of twigs and twine we made for the fairies. I kneel down to the hollow in childish wonder and awe. I rise. I pluck a deep, purple lilac blossom from the centre of the bush. As the succulent nectar touches the tip of my tongue, memories flood my mind. Someone once told me that memories live with you forever. I remember all of them that we had together, under the lilac bush. The violet blooms protected us from the world, enclosing us with a veil of innocence, imagination and splendour. They still do to this very day. We leave, hand in hand, past the gate, past the weathered garage door, and go inside for ice cream. Melissa de Quadros, Age 17 The Fighter While I revel in my peaceful slumber, the sun rises. And she rises with it. Dragging herself out of the bed, ending her dreams, she walks with drooping eyes into the kitchen. Half in sleep she prepares my breakfast and then fusses over me. I saunter out of the house leaving behind a mess. Eventually I get on with my day and believe me she gets on with hers. Cleaning, cooking, working on the complete energy of her will. Once the sun climbs higher, her batteries begin to die out. She takes a shower, hot water massaging every hurting nerve. And then I knock: louder; Louder; LOUDER. Until she rushes out to open the door. She feeds me, yet again. Before the evening strikes, she is out of the door, walking towards her job with full dignity and elegance; leaving the house at my mercy. The moon guides her weary steps back to her home. By this time every bone in her body cries out in agony. But she smiles. After dinner she tucks us in and calls YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 37 it a day. But lying in the darkness of my room I can still hear her moving around preparing for tomorrow’s ordeal. And then finally I listen to her climbing into her bed and instantly drifting off. This is when I creep into her room and kneel down to look into the most peaceful face. Closed eyes, rhythmic breathing, a slight curve of her lips… I wonder who made her heart so big. Silent tears roll but I sip them back. I touch her in a desperate attempt to absorb her pain. But I realize I can’t do anything for this fighter. I leave her battles to her. I kiss her and whisper, “Goodnight Mom, tomorrow will be a better day.” Samreen Faraz, Age 18 Everyday Struggle I don’t want to live no more because sometime I hear death knocking on my front door where I’m from I’m taught to stay humble but every time I do something positive there’s always something or someone that’s burst my bubble. In sports they say defence is better than offence. Where I’m from it’s like a game I avoid the obstacles by playing the defence but even when I don’t play the offence I still commit the offence. Some of us are masters in disguise. But most believe we’re not intelligent and wise. We portrayed as having that atrocious attitude like ‘get bent’ because we apparently all got from rappers such as 50 cent. Most of us don’t have a lot so we don’t give a lot then we classified as being stingy, well we all trying to make it out that’s why we listen to Nas not Chingy. The government is quick to donate money to countries around the world where times are hard but how are they going to help other countries when they didn’t help their own backyard. It’s tough going out everyday on these streets that’s why I feel the government gave so much to the tsunami relief. We walk by the negativity and continue to stay humble. This is another episode of the everyday struggle. Temesgem Ghebremicael, Age 17 All the Lonely People All the lonely people/Where do they all come from?/All the lonely people/Where do they all belong? —from ‘Eleanor Rigby’ by The Beatles Every time I hear the song ‘Eleanor Rigby’ by the Beatles, I reminisce about a summer volunteer position that I once had at a nursing home that was especially devoted to the care of residents with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of 38 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 dementia. In particular, my thoughts wander to the memory of an elderly resident in her 90s whom I befriended during my time at the home. Her name was Anne, and first impressions revealed her to be a cranky and unfriendly woman whose only companion was solitude. She had no family or friends, and she sat by herself in the common room day after day, waiting for her inevitable departure from the world of the living. My first encounter with Anne occurred during one lazy summer afternoon as I was entertaining residents on the outdoor patio of the nursing home. Feeling sympathetic towards her lonely lifestyle and lack of loved ones, I promised myself that during my time working at the home, I would strive to touch Anne’s lonesome life with my concern for her well-being and happiness. Over the next few weeks, I began visiting Anne quite frequently, in the hopes that my visits would allow her to feel the companionship and love of a fellow human being for her. Anne grew to enjoy the times that we spent together, as I provided her with the friendship that was sorely lacking from her daily life. Through our conversations, I discovered that beneath the façade of old age and unfriendliness, Anne was a treasure trove of wisdom and experiences. As we became more comfortable in one another’s presence, she began to tell me of various life experiences that she had undergone in her past. Her tales of life as a schoolteacher in Nova Scotia were especially memorable for me, as they presented an image of a younger, stronger and more vivacious Anne than the elderly lady that I physically perceived before me. Although I have long since moved on to different volunteer placements, my experiences of Anne’s wisdom and life stories have greatly influenced my manner of perceiving the world and the individuals whom I encounter. Over the course of numerous years of community involvement, I have met numerous individuals of all ages and from all walks of life, who, like Anne, have been innocent victims of neglect and abandonment. Although modern society has taken measures to address issues affecting its destitute and its weaker members, too often are the voices of the unnoticeable and forsaken individuals silenced. Society as a whole has become so caught up in the lives of the wealthy, the powerful and the famous that it is blinded towards the fascinating and invaluable experiences of those who lead seemingly simple, unremarkable lives. In ‘Eleanor Rigby’ the Beatles challenge humanity to reach out to its ‘unimportant’, neglected members in the common bond of love and friendship that should exist between all peoples. As such, I have taken up the challenge of seeking out and comforting the neglected as one of my life missions. Through my efforts, and the work of others, I hope that someday all people will find a place where they belong and are loved. Joyce Lam, Age 17 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 39 Watch Out! We're Coming! Ryan Shin, Age 18 Reality 101 Frightened, then fulfilled. These three words sum up the entirety of my experiences as a volunteer with The Route — a group of students who hand out sandwiches and drinks to the homeless people of downtown Toronto every Friday night. Treading unfamiliar territory, I was essentially taking a crash course in Reality 101. Although my parents frequently educated me about the difficult truth of life on the streets, encountering it first person and at night, when the harshness of reality particularly shone through, proved jarring to say the least. As a privileged girl who was born into a loving family with a roof over her head, I could not even begin to fathom what these individuals endured day in, day out. Cold winds and sub-zero temperatures seemed to be the least of their worries. Food was an essential that too often made itself scarce. But more often than not, the homeless were reluctant to take handouts from us and refused what we had to offer, sometimes angrily so. I will admit that, 40 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 initially, this left me uneasy and unaware of how to deal with such a situation. But through observation of veteran volunteers’ attitudes and general demeanours when dealing with homeless people, I realized that, in order for respect to be reciprocated, patience as well as additional respect must be given. This principle, in my opinion, should be applied to all people, regardless of economic status. My experience volunteering with the homeless opened my eyes and made me realize that, despite the education schooling provides, no amount of books can teach you what life can. While on The Route, I discovered a personal route of my own. Anita Li, Age 17 Today Feels Like Yesterday and the Tomorrow Before That Yesterday. No, it is today that I wake up at 7:30 and rush to where I think I belong. Kitchen first. I make myself a large cup of coffee and cookies to start this day. Or maybe this was yesterday? Wash up, dress up, step downstairs and go straight ahead. The traffic zooms by before my eyes: thousands of people running to work and to school. We’re all trains, following our schedule, almost never late and so blindly bored. Weeks collided, and I found myself waking up at 7:30 on a Saturday morning. Kitchen first. I made myself a large cup of coffee and cookies. But that was yesterday. And I turned on my television to watch the weather forecast. But that will be tomorrow. Sometimes I want to be a train and follow the tracks ahead of me. I want to think that I’m free to go anywhere, and that it just so happens that the tracks lead me to where I want to go. It’s so easy to believe that all the paths lead to a destination. It is this destination that we anticipate, forgetting we are alive. I’m forgetting that I’m alive. I’m not a machine. I’m not a metal frame. I don’t live on gasoline or breathe out toxins. I don’t. I’m not. I’m not. Stop. Someone disassembled my tracks, and I stop. And I wait. I am waiting for my bus on a Saturday morning. Ladies first. It comes up, opens up, and I step up and walk straight ahead. Today feels like yesterday, and it’s funny how I’ve been here tomorrow. I watch the world rush by me as the bus accelerates. It just so happens that it goes to where I have to go. I sit by the window, surrounded by trains, who think that they’re free. I like the bus ride. It is during my ride in the morning that I get to slow down and look through the window, forgetting that I am late. I once knew a man who would sit in his basement watching the toy trains circle around him over and over, again and again. He would sit there all day after his 7:30 cup of coffee and weather forecast, and watch the trains run in circles. He once told me that it is truly remarkable that they never reach their destination. YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 41 “But they try,” he said. “They try to finish their circles, except what they think is an end is actually the beginning.” He would watch them for hours, running around and around. Hypnotized. While the trains hurried in circles, he slowed down. The bus comes to a stop. I get off and stand on the street. It’s my choice not to go. I lift my head up to the sun and stretch out my arms, welcoming its warmth. I stop for a second, and then try the door. But it is locked. I try again – still locked. Saturday. I am free to go. Elena Lissitsyna, Age 18 Perspective In life, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. We each have different lifestyles, opinions and perceptions on the world. These perceptions are dictated by the circumstance in which we were raised. You and I are different people and we experience and absorb the world in different ways. Imagine a rainy day. Now imagine two people observing this same day, and let me depict to you their varying views. Ugh, it’s raining. The water is pounding down in profounding torrents. The whole world looks grey, from the ominous black clouds to the cracked concrete, life seems to have been washed away. I’m trapped behind these four walls by the miniscule little droplets, mustered together to ruin my day. The sky has opened up and unleashed its tears upon the world. Err… rain is sooo… depressing. The rain is drumming a rhythmic beat on the windowpane, creating a backbeat for the symphony of life. It cascades from the heavens above and brings with it a surge of renewal. Each miniscule tear is in essence a capsule containing vitality. The withered plants absorb the precious water and flourish, as the life cycle is set in motion once again. Ahhh… rain is so refreshing… It is important to be aware of oneself and to form your own opinions, but it’s also wise to stop and listen to the minds of others. Through their eyes we might see something different, yet astoundingly beautiful. We can choose to live a half full or half empty life, based on how we choose to perceive. Natalija Milicevic, Age 17 42 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 The Scarlet Lette Letter : A Review A touchingly human story of a time in history that made us wonder how far religious and moral extremes can take us, this classic has flourished for centuries. At once a dire warning and a moving story of the human will, The Scarlet Letter is still read and studied more than 300 years after its publication. The Scarlet Letter tells the story of Hester Prynne, a young, recently married woman sent to start life in America while her husband stayed in England. She is found to be with child by another man. Because she would not reveal the name of her lover after a public trail in the marketplace, she is forced to wear a scarlet letter “A” sewn onto her breast, marking her as the town adulteress. Unbeknownst to her or her lover, her husband stood among the crowd that condemned her. As both Hester and her lover deal with the results of their uncontrolled passion, Hester’s husband, a cold-hearted, demonic man described as “having successfully turned himself into a fiend by taking on the office of one” moves forward with his plan of revenge in this intriguing, dramatic page-turner. Nathaniel Hawthorne draws from his own experience as he writes about a time where moral and religious zeal outweighed human passion. His story criticizes the framework of Puritan society in ways so subtle that the reader may very well miss it amidst the fast-moving plot and intriguing, dynamic characters. Making good use of magic realism and vivid imagery, he portrays the Puritan mindset so well that the reader is drawn into the world of 16th century New England complete with witches that fly around on broomsticks at night, people who meet the Devil out in the woods and a scarlet letter “A” imprinted in the flesh of Hester’s secret lover. Despite its gloomy message and solemn warning, The Scarlet Letter is also a story of human emotion, passion and the will to survive. Hester’s very exclusion from her Puritan township is as much a blessing as it is a punishment. Marked as the adulteress, she no longer needs to abide with the strict morality of New England. She can live a life that really is human, complete with its passion, pain, lusts and love. Her lover, however, is forced to deny his desire, his needs and even his humanity because he would not choose Hester’s fate. More than 300 years after its publication, this book contains a message that is as relevant and poignant as the day it was written. It’s as much about the abuses of women in a society too rigid in its moral and religious ideals as it is about two people’s will to survive in spite of it. With the vivid imagery, magic realism and profound symbolism that mark a Hawthorne novel, The Scarlet Letter is a must read for anyone concerned about their society, their values and their right to be human. Julia Zhao, Age 17 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 43 Poetry Roots Carina Chan, Age 14 44 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 POETRY: AGE 12–14 My Life Poem I am from a dim and empty room. From hardwood floors and white, smooth walls, From a cozy feeling with the cleanest of the house, And comfortable pillows beneath these covers of warmth. I am from home – quiet but chatty with hearty laughter. I am from a clean, nearly dustless environment, From smells of whatever is cooking and sights of busses passing by, From airplanes above, and buzzings of traffic behind, From a piano to an entertainment system, I am from the warm rooms with comfy seats. I am from Dixon Grove, with plazas and malls around. From the CN Tower to the SkyDome, From the Exhibition, to the ACC, and welcoming others at Pearson, From “Little Italy” on College and Chinatown downtown, I am from a very multicultural city. I am from the five Great Lakes, and between the Pacific and the Atlantic, From the Rockies to the Flatlands, to the cold arctic provinces, From fish to oil and wheat to potatoes, From Niagara Falls and great big malls, I am from a bilingual, Maple Leaf country. I am from boat people and refugees and immigrants. From Mid-Autumn Festival to Lunar New Year, From doctors and dentists to lawyer and bank manager. From many superstitions and very skilled, well-mannered people, I am from where elders are first and respected and I’m proud of it! I am from a music-surrounding atmosphere. From minor troubles that will occur, yet still have the freedom we have today, And people living happily, with great healthcare And doing the best I can to reach my hopes and dreams. I will soon grow up and become a lady who can make a change in this world. Alice Dang, Age 13 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 45 (Untitled) I’ve always wondered Ever how, People say, Don’t have a cow. I’ve also wondered why, Someone came up with, When pigs fly. Because in this world, In all of places, You see the strangest things, That most amazes. Like machines that talk, and walk, and Sing, And also correct the most important things. Or things that cure you of a cold, And (so they say) prevent you from being old. And coffee cups from three feet high, Or plastic trucks that drive up high. So in the modern way we’ll say, When pigs fly to Pluto and decide to stay! Gabrielle Felio, Age 12 My Room My room is mine Where I face my problems Where my demons take their last stand Where I break down all barriers. I make things in my room Grow and create things in my room. Drawing this, writing that Painting this, gluing that. No one ventures into my room They are not sure what they may find. They could see pencils and paper Scattered all across the floor. 46 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 My room is like my mind Confused with war and words, Songs and poems, Advice to give, Advice to receive. My room is mine Where I face my problems Where my demons take their last stand Where I break down all barriers. When life gets too rough outside I come in and unwind. Radio blaring, Pages of a book turning. Morning, noon, and night My room is mine. With the smell of ocean breezes or lavender fields I finally find my solitude. As I sleep, my thoughts of the day Seep into the surrounding walls. A new day ahead I start with a fresh mind. My room is mine Where I face my problems Where my demons take their last stand Where I break down all barriers. Tegan Gow, Age 13 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 47 Broked I was that of me, once And you were which of you I’ve now lost myself someplace Myself doesn’t want me to find it But that’s OK I’m most of me I mean, I think me is a part of me Or I and me are the same But if that is so, aren’t we missing myself? If myself joins us, we won’t become an ‘us’ We’d become one whole One mind One self But that will never happen Because myself doesn’t want to be found It’s OK I don’t mind I mean, I think I don’t mind… Tina Hang, Age 14 This day the day was dark and quite dreary, the clouds shone in a pathetic shade of gray. I’m not sure the sun wanted to exist through the haze of a drizzle of rain there could be seen a trio of noxious columns gently trickling out of smoke stacks aside the sidewalk, in the gutter, a small yellow frog bathed in the streaks of purple petrol upon the sewer water further down a small child’s voice coincided with the din of cars on the road the rain started to fall more substantially and umbrellas bloomed along the street as people passed they failed to see the beauty of their day and only saw its misery whether it was the haze, or the fog, something about this day was nice. Illya Mykytyn, Age 14 48 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Solitary Candle Christina Li, Age 12 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 49 Life is; A never ending game of chess A gift from God A box of chocolates A swaying mountain road A mystery Something to be taken advantage of To be lived to the fullest Cherished A highway leading to heaven To be celebrated A flame having to be protected from the wind A journey taken by all Dependant on choices made A wonderful thing A giver of opportunities An open door waiting to be walked through A newborn infant Inescapable A bumpy path A chance to do something great Your Very Own Peter Nawara, Age 14 50 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Me What do you do to get here? You go around the family tree, Over the art bridge, Past the rock of music. You jump over the waterfall of life, Around the mountain of happiness, Through the forest of fun, Swim in the fountain of wealth, and warm by the log of friends. Under the snow of skiing, Go past the statue of sleep, and around the lake of winter. You get to the very place I want to be, You get to a place that is called Me! Denys Pavlov, Age 13 Queen of Pranks Splat! Goes the yogurt on Johnny’s pants Spit with a straw from the table across Beware here comes the Queen of Pranks She’ll make you know what you did wrong “Ain’t I sexy now?” is the sentence written there On one of the girl’s birthday posters And the rock star that she likes has A Hitler moustache drawn under his nose The kid in front has his underwear showing So She takes a picture with her phone And shows Her friends – they’re all laughing The kid has no idea what’s going on The Royal Highness sticks Her gum on a guy’s seat The peppermint gum is stuck to his ass She is laughing so hard that it’s hard to breathe He walks on like that on his way to class YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 51 Then the girl with the auburn hair Walks towards you silently Her angelic pretty stare Her eyes like pale sapphires So innocent Her smile is Her lips so tender sweet But when She walks Past you on the street… Her smile turns into a laugh Her lips voluptuous red Just when you thought She fell for you… You run your hand through your hair You realize there’s a spitball stuck in there. Julia Varshavska, Age 14 Artwork Kelly Hu, Age 13 52 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Tragedy Running away from the HUGE, roaring waves, E S T In sorrow, thinking an end has come to our days. N Partly because of the tragedy chasing us, partly thinking E of leaving our loved ones far away. A C E Dedicated to the victims of the attacks of the Asian Tsunami, 2004. Junaid Warwani, Age 12 High Heels High heels are good for anything, for anything they are. They jam, and jab, and jiggle, and jut, and jet, and jar. Every lady needs them, in order to teeter-tot. They’re just about as useful, as often as they’re not. An original, creative idea, to help damsels in peril; Surgeons could use them easily, so long as they’d be sterile. The long thin ones are dangerous, get stuck in every crack. You jet forward in a stumble, then . . . get up and trip right back. Short, thin ones look silly, they jut at every step. They’re just great for throwing, the latest craze, A code of rules is set: When throwing ‘cross the street, YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 53 be sure to look both ways. In a darkened alley, knock him out, or leave him in a daze. The thick heels are most useful, for tapping out a dance to melodies, and bouncy bees, and funny, silly, chants. Clicking down the pavement, making lots of noise. Say . . . how come they never make this stuff for boys? Just think of playing basketball feet clickin’ to the beat echoing off the backboard clackin’ down the street. This is what they’re used for, this is what they are this is why I haven’t appreciated them so far. Mattie Wiseman, Age 14 54 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 For You, My Dear Valentine ZheShu Xiao, Age 13 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 55 POETRY: AGE 15–16 Wasted When the morning comes I know I will be shortened. He takes me out of the box and puts his fingers on my waist, and starts writing. I am being wasted. He erases me with my friend the eraser. He once too, was tall and white, but now he is short and black. We will all disappear from the world of humans. I get sharpened once in a while. It’s torture to get sharpened. They put your head in and twist. Then I get put back in the dark box until later. Once again to be wasted. Erin Cassidy, Age 15 Melodic Garden Lisa Meng, Age 16 56 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Storm Darkness creeping in Black canopy develops Air weighing heavy Pellets of rain plunge Clatter of droplets echoes Haze of drizzle hangs Eerie lightning flash Patterns of warped light emerge Striking hard, forceful Sky bellows with rage Majestic roars of thunder Punching resonance Battle rages on Rich bass surmounts orchestra Waiting for solo New sweet tune comes forth Rising counterpoint to bass Melody of calm Beams of light emerge Filtering through the shadows Dancing with new song Blanket of black lifts New glow brightens slow but sure Come, new day awaits Michelle Wong, Age 16 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 57 The Street As I stand here gazing at the street from a distance A newspaper slides across the cold floor The street light stands tall and alone The darkness of the night causes me to tremble As the cool gentle breeze caresses my frightened face A bright red leaf falls from a great oak tree It floats through the almost empty street As if it is trying to escape something Passing deranged pedestrians It gains no attention It floats with such elegance and grace Until it lands in a half-frozen puddle of mud It will soon crumble up and die It reminds me of life Life on the streets. Daniel Bacchus, Age 15 I am. Life, Love, strength I care very much about my family and friends. Trustworthiness is important to me. Unselfishness is important to me. Happiness is important to me. Optimism is a good thing. Being self centered is bad but can be good to love yourself. The weather is destroying many countries. The night comes out earlier during Winter and it's beautiful. People are too selfish. This is me. Ana Knezovic, Age 15 58 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Isn’t it funny? Isn’t it funny how one person can make you feel so good? Without any words, just the way he looks at you Makes you smile for months (with no particular reason), Makes you day-dream (on a regular basis), Makes you laugh (even when the joke is not that funny), Makes you forget all your troubles (and find everything perfect). Mind those pointy arrows the chubby (for you – adorable) Winged-baby insists on aiming (and shooting) at you. He simply makes you so happy… One moment, somewhere along the way, you wake up. Without any words, just the way he looks at you Makes you cry for months (with no particular reason), Haunts you in your sleep (at night, when you think you’re safe), Makes you angry (even when the comment is not insulting), Makes you forget all your joys (and find everything depressing). Mind those apathetic looks the sarcastic (for you – stupid) Tall guy insists on aiming (and shooting) at you. He so simply makes you miserable… Isn’t it funny how one person can make you feel so sad? Nina Plotnik, Age 16 Peeling Wallpaper Peeling wallpaper, torn by the edges. Once littered with cherry roses, petals of pure blood, thorns that sliced through the hearts of pale-faced visitors and crept along the walls in the silence of midnight hours. Roses now faded to a yellow-tinted pink, thorns now blunt and dull. Thick with memories, drenched in grease. Soiled, cracked, drained of all life as the elderly occupant. Four walls now, nothing more. Vanja Vukosavljevic, Age 16 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 59 Rich Emptiness of History Under the coat of old-bloody red, The sound of my heart softly beats Through the curves of my hollow body. As the naked wind flowing in an autumn day, An uncontrollable empty movement, I feel, Tuneless words and numbers, I hear Of long travels gone and yet to come. Spanning continents, Sweeping centuries in four paths of life As four gut-made strings tragically marked By empty history. O rhythmic-beating time! Thou that exposes the numbers of this adventure, The beauty and passionate sound of life. Free my sprit and sound! Adela Rexha, Age 16 Pigeons in Flight Christina Cook, Age 15 60 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Ode to my Pillow As I lean in with relief toward you, I smell the delicate smell of my sweet shampoo. Your skin acquaints itself with mine, So soft, so fine. You sleep with me through the night, Making sure that I’m alright. Laying on you, my relaxed feelings show, Taking you everywhere my dreams want to go. Hearing you move from under my head, Reassures me that I’m still safe in my bed. As morning arrives, I don’t want to part, For being in your presence, reassures my heart. I press you up against my cheek, and hold you in my embrace, Your soft, featherlike touch so smooth upon my face. As I slowly get up, I give you a glance, Knowing that soon I’ll get a second chance. I place down to your usual spot, And I say to you, pillow, you mean a lot. Marta Polanska, Age 15 Dance Possessive fingers encircle my waist. Their tips kissing softly like the starting wires in that Chevy we stole last week. The roar of the live engine ricochets through my lungs Just now as I sense your fingers. If I am your orange, you are my peel, Rich in fibre and tough as chicken-wire wrapped thrice around the coop. You wrap me up like a warm turkey sandwich in paper As we sway to the rhythm of the candlelit dance floor. A smile flows from my cheeks to yours, Lingering like the perfume of dead mouse in a dank basement. I know now, this is not another dance of the moth, smouldering in the passion of a 100 watt bulb. This is the dance of the spider, graceful and trusting. YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 61 Yesterday we swung fast to the music, Tongue to tongue like a tribe of angry chimpanzees. The projector rolled and slides flashed, A door, a couch, and then myself running way. We don’t need all that. Today we’re the ocean waves and the red sand; Always together and always apart. The dance floor is unpolished but we like it that way, And the music is the engine in our ears. Saara Punjani, Age 15 Days Every Day there’s a New day, there’s a New day every day. Every day is a new beginning, there Is no stopping the days from going by without days there will be no life, Days are always going by. Phillip Livingston, Age 16 62 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 I Grew Up I grew among lights, fluorescent neon caressing the windows of antique shops and corner stores The buzzing land of the busy, black umbrellas turning their backs on rain and crowded alleys clogged with crisp fall leaves I grew up with cars and factory chimneys spewing smoke like ripe cigarettes and the television arguing with the radio over the nonsensical issues that supposedly affected me I grew with the river, Summer days plucking snails off of moist leaves and holding annual caterpillar circuses Anna Dziuba, Age 16 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 63 POETRY: AGE 17–19 I love you You are the best time of my life. You are a flower from heaven. Your eye is the light of my soul. Your face is a bright star in the clear. Your cheeks are the rose of my life. I see them every moment. You are the sun and the world. You are a colourful rumba in a dark sky. I would die to hear your voice. And see your face, your hair, even your shadow. Your heart is like honey. I can’t get enough of Your voice like a white bird In a sunny weather sky. To the girl that I love Mohamed Awad, Age 19 Mother Nature and More bahot gahram hawa suraj maringay sid naram hawa wal ganta hair bahot tanda coke nasdik avas bara hanara mara chotay so ako suraj ho ga ya nazr saf hogi hot and humid air sun beating down on head gentle breeze through ice cold coke closer to sound big shadow sun small eyes vision became clearer Ibrahim Baig, Age 18 64 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Rock 'n' Roll Alexandra Gidoiu, Age 17 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 65 The Waiting Room Tales The Prologue Such a sad, depressing and sickly place, Is the doctor’s office waiting room space. The patients give dark, solemn, empty stares, But make too much noise and you will get glares. Everyone anxiously awaits their turn Wanting insight on what the doctor’s learned. A BUSINESSMAN, brief case, there right from work Talking loudly on his phone like a jerk, A stressful job, he looks awfully worn out, Young but is wrinkling ‘round the eyes and mouth. Neatly ironed suit, neatly knotted tie, He hangs up his phone and lets out a sigh, Every day for him is the same routine, He’s stern but wants a change or so it seems. Whether it is the pressure of his job That makes him hack, wheeze, vomit, sweat and cough. Hopefully the doctor can figure out What this complicated man is about. The SINGLE MOTHER is there with two kids, She is struggling not to flip her lid. She is beautiful under all the stress Trying to get rid of all of life’s mess. Always working at least 3 or 4 jobs, She falls asleep every night to her sobs. Her husband left and ran out of her life, Intent on leaving her for his new wife, Left with the two kids to fend for herself, They used to have nothing but their own health. The TEENAGER is the one no one likes, He’s the perfect teenage stereotype. His headphones on with his music on loud, Angry because his parents are not proud. He thinks he doesn’t need to go to school, 66 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 He’d rather act tough and try to be cool. On the outside he acts superior, On the inside he feels inferior, Like an elephant frightened of a mouse, He is sometimes afraid to leave his own house. She is slow moving, small and very frail, The OLD LADY who moves slow as a snail. Lost her hearing but her aid is turned off, Not wanting to hear everybody’s coughs. It is her third time at the doctor’s this week, She is in her nineties and she feels weak, Dressed moderately in her Sunday dress, But even Sunday can’t cure the depressed. She knows that the end is approaching near, But she is prepared and she feels no fear. The DOCTOR emerges with his white coat, Clean, pure, waiting to give someone some hope. Constantly spending long, hard days at work, Ridding the body of the germs that lurk. In his career he’s seen so much dying, He’s seen buckets filled with family’s tears from crying. He started his own family practice, Now he just works and never relaxes. He’s a middle-aged man who is wealthy Just wanting to keep his patients healthy. There is much to see looking at faces In large, sad, empty, waiting room spaces. Faces looking sombre and sometimes blue, Whether it is a check-up or the flu. Personal problems are left at the door, Everyone is equal; no one is more. Nicholas Constantine, Age 17 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 67 Room 335 Step by step into the room that awaits Enlightened by a flick of a switch Wine-red couch Waiting for me to be seated Room 335 The way it should be Electric artwork of flame-maple leaning on the wall Rockin’ cube ready to ring like a bell Tender touch of jazz? Roaring beefy overdrive? Silky smooth, crystal-clear? Twang-twang inspiring cries of blues? Or distort the hell out of it Scream and Shred like a madman? Step by step into the room The room that makes my day Neither rule nor definition Improvised sound waves of freedom Heaven easing boredom And this life’s fatigue Room 335 The way it is David Han, Age 18 Mister Marcus Soaked right through with the early morning rain; I marched over to Mister Marcus’ house. Mister Marcus! Mister Marcus! Miiiiiiiiiisster Maaaaaaaarcus! Where is mi mother’s green bananas that she put under di house? Sitting on his veranda, he turned around and said to me, “In my belly Miss Joseph, you mama’s green bananas is in my belly.” Aresell Joseph, Age 17 68 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 The Girl Reading the Letter The room is dull With red curtains Red bed sheets Fruits in a bowl A chair on the side of the room A girl with blonde hair She has curls Colour of her dress is green Her face expression is sad As she is reading the letter Near the opened window Curtains are opened too She seems to be expecting someone There’s a reflection on the window Minute of Silence Sosena Kassa, Age 18 Let’s turn off the streetlights Tonight And stop all traffic For just one minute —A minute of silence— Not for mourning, But a celebration Of God’s creation. Let us stare in awe of the pure ivory moon —Jade, if you prefer— And the glittering jewels we call Stars. Let the only orange glow Be of a sunset —Sunrise, for the optimists— As the minute of silence Begins. Cecilia Ki, Age 17 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 69 De Original Sketch (D.O.S) Triston Isaac, Age 17 70 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Superheroes (dedicated to Coach House Press) Superheroes in the closet In the press, in the mess The books stacked on the shelf The postcards on a stand The books in the press Superheroes in the armchairs Cozy and crammed up in tiny space Factory of books in the press, in the mess Old pictures, old armchairs Spider webs on the shelf Superheroes on the paper Their spines glued to the covers Their arms cut off by book cutter Their pages coloured one by one Spider webs on the window Their spines glued to the window Postcards on a stand Superheroes downstairs Squeaky, screechy turns of wheels Their arms stretched out, turning Factory of spider webs Factory of wood in a wooden press A guest – impressed My spine glued to the armchair Superheroes in my head. Elena Lissitsyna, Age 18 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 71 Between Take-Off and Nowhere 8:45 Fresh rolls baking. Asphalt screeching. Stiff boarding pass. 10:10 Sweet exhaust wafting. Phones chirping. Slippery aisles. 11:30 Break! “Do you know what you want?” “The special.” “You always get the special.” “Yeah. I always get the special.” 12:45 Sour sweat pouring. Cameras laughing. Prickly smiley face. 2:10 Old milk spoiling. Bags crashing. Icy closed sign. 3:30 Grounded! “Do you know what you want?” “Out of here.” “You always wanted that.” “I said four years and I’m gone.” * ** *** High school cancelled > *** ** * Stephanie Law, Age 18 72 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 Tears of Shame Through which Shall be known The call for rain Is just to hide The pain of the Heart To wash away What wept out It is shame For it is worthless Of her love Tatum Joanne Bernardo, Age 18 The Fountain of Youth Sweet lilacs tickle your neck, sitting on an old oak bench whistling and watching the fountain flow endlessly and infinitely as if you had been drowning and drained of memories and that to be young is to have great dreams and to laugh like that little youth of a boy playing firefighter under the hot sun burning to save his red truck being run over by sand thrown by immaculate virgin queens who knew where to wash their secrets away by swinging the sparkles out of their hair that waved in beautiful grace through the skies while warning their princes to slide down the tower and climb the monkey bars to heaven where gardens of trumpet playing marigolds and wind whispering lilies exist full of colour and entrancing fragrance, circling you like a potion that impels you to dance and run across the fields of rich green, chasing the villains who bark and scrape for your precious treasures you hid so deep and will never find because they are all gone and you have lost all memory because you are blank as paper, until today when you remembered this one day when they were laughing and you were watching, believing, pretending that you were still alive, that you were so young, so free, and once joyous like them. Hoa Pham, Age 18 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 73 Meteora Jessica Leen, Age 17 74 YOU NG VOICE S 2004/5 YOUNG VOICES 2005/6 Toronto Public Library magazine of teen writing and art Call for Submissions Express yourself! GUIDELINES 1. Write what you want to write! Write about monster trucks, flower petals, dew on the morning grass, a dark and stormy night, love, death, bands, lyrics, your friends, your parents, your dog, your favourite librarian (or not)… 2. Submit only your own original work 3. Submissions are not returned — keep a copy of your work 4. Toronto Public Library has onetime print and electronic rights to all written work, as well as the right to excerpt from the work for purposes of promotion 5. All artwork becomes the property of Toronto Public Library 6. Written submissions will be selected from each of the following age categories: 12–14; 15–16; 17–19 7. Artwork will not be categorized by age for the purposes of choosing what to publish. Who can enter Teens 12–19 years who live or go to school in Toronto. What can be entered Written Work: poems, stories, rants, reviews… • one entry per person • 500 words maximum • Typed entries preferred, but not required Artwork: for inside the magazine or on the cover • 8 1/2” x 11” preferred • One-colour artwork only • Submit only originals; no photocopies, electronic scans, etc. • Artwork will not be returned and becomes the property of Toronto Public Library. How to enter • Complete fully the submission form (see over) • Attach the form to your work • Drop your work off at any library branch • For written work only only, you can submit online: > www.torontopubliclibrary.ca > Click on ramp > Click on Express Yourself > Click on Young Voices ✃ Submission Deadline: April 7, 2006 YOUNG VOICES 2005/6 Submission Form Submission Deadline: April 7, 2006 Please fill out this form fully and attach it to your submission. Submissions with incomplete submission forms may not be considered for publication. Last name _______________________________________________________ First name(s) _____________________________________________________ Address _________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ Email ___________________________________________________________ Telephone number _________________________________________________ Age ________ □ Male □ Female Today's date ________________________ Title of your submission ____________________________________________ Genre of submission □ Poem □ Fiction □ Rant □ Review □ Art □ Other (please specify what type of work you are submitting) _____________ Name of library branch where you submitted____________________________ I heard about Young Voices □ at the library □ at the mall □ at school □ at a shelter □ online at ramp □ Other (please say where) _________________________ Eagle Dreams, Vicky Zhao, Age 16 Caught in the Act, Rebecca Wen, Age 14