September 2006 - Rachel Williston
Transcription
September 2006 - Rachel Williston
N A R C I S S E ISSUE 10 SEPT 2006 The Best TG Mag just keeps on getting better! C O N T R I B U T I N G W R I T E R S Lisa-Gayle - US based writer, Author of “Across Golden Pond” an ex-pats view of life in the States! Leigh Smythe – US based writer, Author of “It’s Agony” – Her view on life! http://profiles.urnotalone.com/46558 http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseactio nfiltered=user.viewprofile&friendid=66998257 http://whisperleighsmythe.blogspot.com/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/whisper_leigh_sm ythe/ Heather – US based writer, Author of “ A Spell with Heather” & “ Victorian Times”. Our very own Wiccan Witch sharing her knowledge and enlightenment http://360.yahoo.com/heathergoddess2003 http://HeathersWorldofEnchantment.braveho st.com Lori-Anne – US based writer, Author of “Lori’s Film Review”. Deserving of an Oscar herself!! http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile.html;_ylt=AsY vgX5afB4.IXcz77854s6lAOJ3 http://profiles.urnotalone.com/Lorianne1357 Sarah & Donna – CO-conspiritors for the new monthly erotic story JJ – Portsmouth based writer and all-round good egg, Author of JJ’s Book Case. Joanne – Long-suffering wife of Mandy, roving reporter and general snoop, is the 2 source of “In the papers”. [email protected] 1...Frontpage 2...Contents/Rogues Gallery 3.. ,, 4...I think, therefore I Blog 5.. ,, 6...Knowing me (Interview) 7.. ,, 8.. ,, 9...Polls Apart 10.. ,, 11...Lori’s Film Review 12.. ,, 13.. ,, 14.. ,, 15...NEW One Girl’s Story 16.. ,, 17...NEW Question of the month 18.. ,, 19.. ,, 20...NEW LOOK Poll Winner 21...NEW LOOK Birthday Page 22...NEW LOOK Fashion 23.. ,, 24.. ,, 25.. ,, 26.. ,, 27...Stressed 28.. ,, 29...Its Agony!! 30.. ,, 31...In the Papers 32.. ,, 33...Centrefold 34.. ,, 35.. ,, GUEST WRITERS Jim – UK Based writer – Author of “ Stress Relief “ Jennifer Flowers – US Based Author – Writer of “Jennifer “ Tammi – UK Based American partner in crime – Compiler of “Tammi’s Torments” the fiendish Narcisse Quiz!! Oh Yeah! & me. Editor, bottle-washer & all-round Skivy Fancy writing for Narcisse? E-mail me at:[email protected] 3 36...Centrefold 37...Health & Beauty 38.. ,, 39...Tammi’s Torments(Quiz) 40.. ,, 41...A Spell With Heather 42.. ,, 43.. ,, 44.. ,, 45...NEW JJ’s Bookcase 46.. ,, 47...NEW Secret Diary. 48...Suit Competition Entrants 49.. ,, 50.. ,, 51...NEW Victorian Times 52...NEW Jennifer 53...NEW First Encounter(Story) 54.. ,, 55.. ,, 56.. ,, 57.. ,, 58...Golden pond 59.. ,, 60...Tribute 61...Quiz Answers 62.. Conversion Tables 63... ,, 64.. Born to Shop (Adverts) 65.. ,, 66... ,, 67.. And Now…… 68... ,, 69...Coming Next Months I think, therefore, I BLOG Now then,I know what your thinking, whats that strange girl up to now? Whats with the wooden background? Has she finally lost the plot? Well, no more than ususal…..its a We-blog! Innit!....get it?...... Log..Wood (cue tumble-weed and church bells in the distance) tut, don’t know WHY I bother! Right then , this month I will mostly be talking about…. Group names! Allow me to elaborate, who the hell gave groups of animals such STUPID names? A MURDER of crows? Whats the crack there? Is there something we’re not being told? Death by crow? Cant says you see that on the 10 O’clock news with any regularity. A SHREWDNESS of Apes!!!!! I kid you not! I just looked it up! What prize plonker thought that one up? When was the last time you saw a shrewd ape? Unless picking your nose and eating it is something to be admired A FLANGE of Baboons!!! You can just imagine half a dozen shifty looking teen-age Baboons hanging around under a tree calling out “Look at the flange on THAT!” at a passing floozy. A GRIST of Bees!! What in Gods wide and wonderful world is a bloody Grist when its at home? A Grist?! Sounds like something you’d get from to much texting “ I’m afraid Ms Taylor your suffering a mild case of repetitive Grist” hehehehe A SMACK of jellyfish! Poor lil Jellyfish, what have they done to deserve a smack, huh? Bobbing along, minding their own business, doesn’t seem fair! 4 A MUTE of hounds! Wish they would mute a few of the bloody ones round here! A LEEP/LEAP/LEPE of Leopards! My point, one – their not exactly renown for leap, leep, lepeing – and secondly – why spell it 3 different ways? A CHAIN of Bobolinks – WHAT THE BLOODY HELLS A BOBOLINK!!! And more to the point, why do they carry chains? A MOVEMENT of Moles…..I’ve heard of bowels moving …but moles?...oh well! A CONGREGATION of crocodiles! Now I know its been a few years since I last frequented a church,well, unless someones died or signed their death warrant, but my memories not that bad and I don’t remember once seeing even one reptilian in my local! A OSTENTATION of Peacocks!! What the…??? You see, the point I’m trying to make is this, who the hell makes up these stupid names in the first place? And this leads nicely on to the next question… what Bozo lets them?!! AND another point! What the hell do they put down as their profession? Group namer , first class? OOhhh but heres a scary thought, what do you call a group of Group namers? Giggle, I know what I’d call them , but its not printable!!! MANDY xxxxx 5 “ Knowing me, Knowing you “ INTERVIEW Name: Heather Blair Willis Age: 52 Location: Cherryville, Gaston County, North Carolina, USA At what age did you start dressing? Age 6 How did it first manifest itself? My girl friend at that time who was over at my house and we were playing house and having tea and she thought of dressing me on her clothes, so we went of over to her house across the street from mind and she proceeded to dress me in one of her dresses, including a pair of panties and after getting me dressed we went back to my home to play house and have tea. Then as the years went by I dressed more and more. My mom would let me dress when my dad was either at work or out of town. My mother and I would do stuff that mothers and daughters do together. Who was the first person to know of your dressing and what was their reaction? My girl friend at the age of 6 and my mother. How are your family and friends with your Transgenderism? My family and friends are super supportive. At what age did you realise that you were TS? At the age of 5. At what stage are you now in your transition and when do you see you completing SRS and full transition? I am now at the stage of legally changing my name and have the application including the deposit and the letters of recommendations from the therapist read to mail in to secure my SRS 6 date that I want. I am looking at having the SRS on the 21st of February 2008 which is my actual birthday, so it will be a rebirth. My transitioning is moving faster that my other half can keep up with. You have a fascination with period costume, what first introduced you to this? Yes I do have a fascination with period costumes. It’s do to my love of history. It started when my mother start introducing me to my Celtic Heritage (Scottish and Irish), and my mother got me going with bagpipe lessons. Later on I started to learn of my family history. And how are you involved now? I am involved with doing living history (Victorian (Civil War) Era), my Scottish Clan in which I am the Clan Piper and the recording secretary. I am also the Piper Major and founder of the Cameron Highlanders Pipe Band of the Carolinas. I love to do Scottish Country dancing. I also teach the bagpipes and teach, read, write, and sing in Scot’s Gaelic. Do you make your own outfits? All of my outfits are ordered. My Southern Belle Dresses and gowns are made by my seamstress who makes them for a living. My Scottish attire is ordered from Scotland through various importers here in the US. My Renfaire gown was order from a place in GA. You’re also a Wicca witch, how long have you been practising and what began it all? I was born into it and have been practicing it all my life. I the late 1980’s I became more open with being a Celtic Witch and practicing the craft to my friends and my relatives. How does the Wicca involvement affect your everyday life? It always has been part of my everyday life and may be one the major reasons I am an environmentalist and animal lover, and I live my Wicca teachings and beliefs every day. That means walking with the Goddess in Perfect Love and Perfect Trust. 7 Does your Transgenderism have any effect on your standing in the Wicca and Period Costume community? It hasn’t affected my standing as Wiccan High Priestess of a Coven. I am what is known as 3rd degree/Elder in Wicca. I am the High Priestess of a Coven here in NC. Also it hasn’t affected my standing in the Living History (Period Costume) Community at all. You voiced a wish to enter politics, at what level and what do you hope to achieve? Yes, I have voiced that. I am still contemplating at what level to enter a particular office that I will be seeking. I will be running for what office I choose to run for on the Republican ticket. As I am typing this part of my interview with you, one of my TS girl friends offered her services to be my campaign mgr. Will your transgenderism be a bonus or a hold-up in the political world do you feel? I think it will be a bonus with in the political world, since I have seen both side clearly (male and female). Also, there are many issues that need to be fully addressed and not just washed over and set on the back burner. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In five years I see myself holding office and my first of several books published. 10 years? Will still be in office, and publishing my others books, and enjoying life with family and friends, and what I love to do, as well as possibly write some more books. What are your personal hopes for the future? My personal hopes for the future are a world of tolerance, every one getting along, our boys and girls in the service staying home and fighting in wars, etc. What are your favourite book, film, work of art and personality? I am quite eclectic on this. Any words of wisdom? Just keep put your best foot forward and live life to the fullest. 8 POLLS APART We all know the feeling, a delicious few moments spent ‘en femme’ but now its time to become...him, again. So, if you’re anything like me (and it seems a fair few of you are!) I try and retain at least some remnants of femininity. So that’s where the idea for this months poll came from, to what degree do you carry forward your female persona into your everyday life? Firstly, Hair(11%), probably the easiest to get away with, I just whack mine into a ponytail, which gives it a lovely ‘flick’ at the ends when I wear it back down again! Giggle. In my experience there has never been a case of “Oh! You have very fem hair, are you a tranny?” So I think we 9 can be safe in that respect when growing our locks a lil longer than standard issue. Next up a pretty impressive 20% of those who voted are fully shaven. A bit trickier to get away with this one, I’ve heard many stories of girls blaming everything from sports to bad skin conditions to why they shave, I’m lucky as I don’t have to pretend, but, as I was saying to a friend only last night, I have NEVER been asked why I have no hair at all on my arms. Go figure?! I guess no-one bothers to look that closely.. boohoo. I must admit, I was surprised at how few of you have had your ears pierced! All those lovely earrings a girl can buy, and so easy to get away with! Most guys have their ears pierced nowadays; Blame it on a mid-life crisis!! But perhaps it is just an exaggerated fear of being found out that puts many off. There’s nothing worse than a tranny to think that everything screams TRANNY!! When most of the time it doesn’t. Long nails (10%) and nail varnish (8%) are actually a lil higher than I expected, because this is a lil tricky to explain away – unless your heavily into drugs or Greek” – but, again, only once has anyone queried my long nails (and that was a GG). My reply? “All the better for scratching my arse, Dear!” she went away post-haste! Hehehe 5% of you wear make-up of some description, I wear cover stick if needed, but have yet to find the clear mascara that I have heard talk about, but I have quite pretty eyes for a guy anyway, so perhaps that would be pushing my luck! Lastly, the reason we get up in the mornings! A whopping 22% of us wear female underwear, yippee!!! Go girls, doesn’t it give you a lift!! I know it does me! Nine, maybe even ten years ago now, I got rid of every piece of male underwear I owned. I just couldn’t abide wearing them any more, so out they all went, so now ALL I wear are pretty undies! Gstrings mainly, with tights, or stockings, depending on my mood. Doesn’t even get a funny look from the Doctor! They’ve seen it all, so why get embarrassed; just make sure your giblets haven’t fallen out when giving him a full frontal! So, well done girls, glad to see so many of you keeping up appearances! Girl Power!!!! 10 LORI’S FILM REVIEW Hi everyone. I guess its September already. I kinda look at this time of the year as a time to reflect, a time to look back and see what I have accomplished over the long summer. I mean, hey, summer is almost over, the leaves on the trees are starting to turn colours, and you can feel a bit of a chill in the air about now. That seems to be when reality sets in, and I realize I haven't got a damn thing done. Then I get bummed out, worrying about the fact that I have spent yet another long summer doing absolutely nothing. Then I realize, once again, that that's the whole point of summer to begin with, doing nothing and enjoying it, and so I wind up OK. About now your beginning to wonder exactly what it is I'm rambling on about (hey, I'm good at rambling), so I think I'll just move on and have a look at a few movies if that's OK? (that is what I do here ya know..........) We're going to start this month off with the movie "She's the Man" starring Amanda Bynes, Channing Tatum, Laura Ramsey, and Robert Hoffman, (Dreamworks pictures, rated PG-13) Hey, its a mans world, right? Lets start with the fact that this is a movie made for young people. I am NOT a young people. I am, in fact, an old people (middle aged really.........). This fact has been pointed out to me on a couple of occasions by teens (I own several) That said, I liked this movie. We start off with our hero(ine) Viloa (Amanda Bynes) learning that her high school girls soccer team has been dropped due to lack of interest. Problem is, that's about all she is interested in. Her Mom, on the other hand, wants her to be a soft, girlie, feminine debutante, something she is less than interested in. When Viola learns her brother Sebastian (James Kirk) is skipping town she hatches a plot to take his place and get on the boys soccer team at the 11 school he is supposed to be attending, to prove a girl can do anything a guy can do. Of course to do this she has to convince everyone at the school that she is actually her brother. A few of her close friends help her dress up as her brother, and learn to imitate "Male" behavior (funny stuff here). The real problems begin when she meets her new roommate and falls for him.......We end up with so many twists and turns, the whole movie becomes one big tangled mess. That's part of the fun of it! There is a lot more to this movie than the stuff that I have just covered. Im going to let you watch it and not spoil the rest. Of course Viola comes out of the proverbial "closet" at the end and proves her point, I’m certainly not spoiling anything here by pointing this out........ The one thing about this film I didn't like was how predictable it was. I guessed what was going to happen next with surprising accuracy throughout this whole film. That said, it was a fun movie. It had many funny moments, like the part where Viola first emerges as her alter ego and panics because she thinks everyone will know she is really a girl (not too hard to relate here.....) or the part where one of the students at the high school, the plotting evil Malcolm (James Snyder) is trying to convince the schools principal that something strange is going on behind the scenes with Viola, just as she walks by buried in a phone conversation with her Mom and not realizing the two can hear her conversation. (" Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something"......Principal Gold: "Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-American, red-blooded male, just like yourself" .Viola: [walking by, dressed as her brother Sebastian, while on the phone discussing the upcoming debutante Ball] "Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway." Principal Gold:" Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?" Malcolm: "No, sir, I- " Principal Gold: "Not that easy. Not that easy" ) The films main message that girls can do anything boys can do should be a no brainier, but it still doesn't hurt to point it out. Amanda Bynes seems to be an up and coming young actress, and she did a good job in this movie. One of the funniest performances came from David Cross who played high school principal Gold, and Vinnie Jones did a fantastic job as soccer coach Dinklage, the toughest, meanest soccer coach ever to live (" LET'S GO! KICK! KILL!"). On the surface this is a film with a TG twist to it, however that isn't the main focus. It contained a lot of stereotypes, but none that I had a hard time with. I’m going to give it a 3 out of 4 on my rating scale which is very good since I am such a hard sell when it comes to teen flicks. Go check it out, I think you'll like it. 12 Well, its on to our next movie. This time I chose to look at the comedy "RV" (From Columbia pictures, rated PG) Starring Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines, Kristen Chenoweth, and Jeff Daniels. Life's a trip.......... The opening shots of this film show Bob Munro (Robin Williams), family man, as he tucks his young daughter Cassie into bed. The perfect picture of a happy family. Flash forward, Cassie is now 15, and a very normal "angry at the world" teen age girl. It would seem we now have a very dysfunctional family on our hands, but not to worry, Bob has a plan. An up-coming trip to Hawaii should be the perfect thing to fix all their problems. Right? It would seem Bobs boss has other plans.......Turns out Bob needs to be in Colorado at the same time the big Hawaii trip is supposed to take place for an important business meeting. Bob, being the multi-tasking genius that he is, hatches a plan....... Bob shows up in front of his house, unannounced, in a large (very large) rented green RV(Seems like you Brits call em "caravans" "caravans" or something like that.....). He informs his family that a vacation to Hawaii wouldn't allow them time to bond or some sort of stupid excuse (I forget the details), and that a nice road trip to Colorado (coincidentally, the same place his business meeting is going to take place) in the monstrous RV parked outside would be just the ticket to bring them together. Of course, driving a behemoth like that is something that takes a bit of practice and experience, something Bob does not possess....... I'm sure you can see the recipe for disaster here. Whoever wrote the script certainly did. There are some very funny scenes in this movie. Bob tells his family they need to name the RV, so they promptly christen it "The big Turd" (hope I spelled that right....). They arrive at the camp ground, only to discover that the last people to use the RV never drained the toilet holding tank. Of course the hose supplied with the RV to perform this task isn't long enough to reach the dump stations drain (guess what happens to poor old Bob here......it isn't pretty), and finally Bob ends up taking the monster RV on a 4x4 only trail, with near disastrous results. The "Big turds" parking brake doesn't work, and throughout the movie we see it roll off on its own at the most inconvenient times. Towards the end it even ends up in a lake, and then finally, after being pulled from its watery grave, it runs over a couple of 13cars, smashing them flatter than a Sherman tank would. I liked this movie. It was hardly perfect, but as comedies go it was pretty good. Robin Williams seemed to coast through this one, he is capable of a much better performance. I didn't care much for Cheryl Hines performance as Bobs wife Jamie Munro Munroe either. Jeff Daniels and Kristen Chenoweth gave great performances as hillbilly couple Travis and Mary Jo Gornike. The Gornikes, along with their kids Earl, Moon and Billie live in a brightly colored bus they travel the country in, and end up befriending Bob and family, much to their dismay. In the end they show them all what it really means to be a family which I thought was a nice touch. Mary Jo's yodelling was excellent, if you like that sort of thing. It was like fingernails on a chalk board to me, but I don't really have a very broad range when it comes to musical taste. I'm going to give this one a 3 out of 4 on my rating scale. It came together better than I think it should have. Robin Williams never seemed to try very hard here, and he's such a funny guy when he tries. If your looking for a good laugh without expecting much beyond that you should like this one. NEXT MONTH HORROR SPECIAL!! 14 One Girls Story ….. Are you still in the “Closet”? This is a true life experience of a life long Crossdresser and the trials and tribulations it can bring. Parts of it will be only too familiar with your own experiences but I truly hope that by sharing this knowledge, you may be better equipped for whatever the future brings. Like most of you, I raided mother’s lingerie draw when young and as I grew into a teenager I shrugged it off as a “growing up thing”. Had girlfriends and eventually married. As you do, I raided her clothes when she was out and found that my attraction to dressing feminine was still with me. The years pass and the family grows but still I have my short periods of dressing up, collecting numerous items of apparel on the way. I considered that I was keeping my “hobby” within the bounds of not being addictive and just enjoyed it now and again. I had been laid off work for a while and my wife worked during the day, so the opportunity to dress more was there. I indulged it more and more, but never sharing this dark secret with anyone and certainly not willing to go out dressed for fear of ridicule and the danger of losing my high profile Charity position. The Internet came along and I found that I was not alone. There were chat rooms, groups and profiles full of men like me…..surely we are not all perverted or mad! After a further 2 years, my secret was becoming a heavy burden on my sanity and I was feeling very guilty about this huge secret that I was carrying around, without my wife knowing….up to that point we had shared everything and had no secrets from each other. The crunch came after a family funeral when I was feeling very low and depressed. I had often chatted on Trannyweb to an English CD in France and I knew that his wife accepted his fem alto ego. We talked many times about how he overcame the secrecy of his CDing and how his wife came to accept it.....the key was not to rush into "blurting" it out and to research all the possible questions that she would have.... such as "have you been wearing some of my clothes", "are you gay" , "do you go out dressed" ,"has anyone seen you" etc, etc. The plan of action should also include a suitable time to tell her so that there were no outside distractions. I was becoming more and more depressed.....like going into a tunnel with no light at the end. My wife had noticed my state of health and was becoming worried. Even with all the previous planning (which was all prepared) I broke down, bursting into tears, and told her!!!! I patiently gave her the prepared information and waited for the explosion. It did not happen, she hugged me close and held me for what seemed ages. 15 We talked for hours and eventually went to bed about 4am with her seeming relieved that the root cause of my depression had been located and lifted. The following morning was a complete turn around, she got up and went out for hours only returning to pack her bags. I pleaded with her not to throw away our marriage like this; it was not as if I had had an affair! But she said that I HAD been unfaithful to her and had broken the trust of our relationship. She left, coming back after an hour (having taken an overdose) so we ended up at the hospital, getting her checked over....she was ok thankfully. I felt she needed clinical help and a call out to the emergency Doctor proved a waste of time....he said that we could her committed! I did not think this was the answer and knew, deep down that by unburdening my guilt; it had driven her to a "system overload". To cut a long story shorter...I got her a speedy therapy privately whilst I went the NHS route and got some crappy counsellor who had no experience with "crossdressing". We both ended up on sedatives for 9 months....me on Prozac and her on something a lot less "invasive". She was off work for 6 months with a "viral infection" and was having panic attacks and was frightening of crowds and open spaces. I guess I just felt so guilty having inflicted this upon her, that I forced myself to overcome whatever mental and physical difficulties I had and concentrated on supporting her. We talked very little about my "addiction" to my hobby except after her last session with the counsellor; she made me promise that I would not dress again without talking to her first. Most people would think that that was a good sign and that I was being given a green light to talk to her and not to dress in the closet (although she always said that she never wanted to see me dressed). BUT the tone of the conversation was such that I had no doubt that she did NOT want to consent to me dressing again and that she thought it was weird and perverted behaviour. That was 3 years ago.......where are we now??? My dressing has become a taboo subject (except for the odd snide comment, when I may have said, "I like that dress" and she may say..."why do you want it yourself") I continue to dress without her knowledge (although I don't now consider it a secret from her) and only feel slight pangs of guilt. But you all know what its like....crossdressing is not a disease that can be cured...its a lifelong addiction. No matter how well intended you "purge" all your stash of clothes, in the short term, you will be out there replacing all those items recently thrown out!! Is there a happy ending to all this? I don't know yet, I'll tell you when I get there. anon 16 R E A D E R S Question of the Month What makes a maids outfit (especially french) so attractive to TV's and TG's? Growing up: You saw your sister, mother, and girl friend all dress as a French maid. Plentiful: 1 of 10 girls has a maid's outfit in the closet. Cheap: A cheap costume for Halloween. About $20 All you need is shoes and hose. Sheer nude, sheer black, white, or fishnets. T-girls: We want to dress like the girls we love. Sissies: Dressing as a maid is a whole other issue. Kristen Bellwood Hi Mandy T H O U G H T S For me it is the colours, the black against the white. But i also love the skirt length, quite short, maybe a flash of stocking tops or the French knickers if you bend over. Nice dark stockings and stiletto heels complete the look Fiona Well Mandy love for me its got to have a lot of lag, black seamed fine fish net stockings, the dress must be frilly with white petticoats that revile the subject backside when bend over, I thing the outfit must arouse feeling sexual vulnerable and servitude bordering sexual slavery. But that just me, Wildangel.~ + ~ Mandyhere's 2 cents worth from the admirer's point of view: maids are sub-servient in the social pecking order, usually naive, virginal, young women, from the country [based on media myth, and common preconceptions]; who are dateless, due to job demands, but "available", or willing to be available to various randy males in the household in which they work[ed]-they are dressed in what looks more like lingerie, silk, lace, black and white-sexy as is. What more sexual combustion could you ask for? hee hee, Jim 17 R E A D E R S T H O U G H T S Hi Mandy, It has got to be the sexy frilly knickers and full petticoat, once you have the stockings and high heals you feel like a million dollars, the most sexy girl you could ever imagine. It like a euphoria of all those feelings of being a girl, being able to hold peoples attention just being in the same room.(feeling a bit tarty as well!). I am speaking from experience hear, so get that uniform and you won't regret it! lol dawn xxxx. I think it's the fem factor. It's so fem it's the dress that wives and girlfriends where to entice there man. There are too many sexy things about it to list here but heres a few. One is the way your fanny is exposed when you bend over as wells as the frilly panties (which I think are optional). Second the stockings and the shoes are always cute and sexy! Hugs Jennifer Mandy, This is one of the first birthday presents my wife bought for me. It comes handy for cleaning around the house and needless to say ... having a raunchy romp afterwards. Hugs, Cherie Society requires males to be - strong, in charge, responsible, all that lot. I believe that when a physical man has a girl trapped inside of him, there is a psychological twist ingrained in his mental framework of "subservience". In order for that feeling to be expressed, the pretty sexy French bondage maid is the perfect embodiment of those sentiments. When we "give in" to the urges to present in female form it is enticing to dress as the French maid that has been lurking as a possibility for so long. Its the classic "forced fem" desire. The feeling of "being stuck" as a male, who can't present as female gives way to be forced to be dressed as female, and since its pure-leigh fantasy, the French bondage maid fills this need perfect-leigh. Just one girls thoughts, Leigh Dear Mandy I think the reason tgirls like maid uniforms is because they are sexy, and are the uniform of serving and submission. What did you and the wife think of??? Love Lionel 18 R E A D E R S T H O U G H T S Well, it seems to me that they are unquestionably feminine and for some reason, just plain sexy. But more importantly, whoever is wearing the maid uniform must surely be subservient to their master, boss, etc. What a turn-on it would be for me, if my wife made me dress up as a French maid and prance around the house all day like that (probably cleaning, though ). -Candy First I think we have to distinguish between a maid's costume versus a real maid's uniform. I do not find a real maid's uniform to be attractive at all. A maid's costume is something else. They are designed to show off a girl's body, they highlight the breasts; they are accented with lace, and usually come to mid thigh to show off a girl's legs. In some ways they are a variation of the black dress and we all know that girls look very sexy in a short black dress and pair of high heels. Paula Just a quick thought on the whole maid thing. I think it once again wanders back into the old stereotype of male dominance/female submission. The maid cleans your house if you can afford to employ one, a lowly SUBMISSIVE job to be sure. She says "yes Sir or Mam" and pretty much does as she is told. Since our society sees the submissive roll as being the feminine one, in spite of a couple of hundred years of attempted social change, we still have the maid as the ultimate _expression of femininity, or put another way, the ultimate female roll. If your looking to play the ultimate female part, the job of maid, complete with all the silky soft ruffles and sexy high heels seems to me to be a good starting point. I wont Deny it has its appeal. Might be kinda fun in a way, although its never topped my list............still................ Have fun all! Lori SO?...... the origin? It is considered that, in the late 18th Century just before the French Revolution, socially France was considered the fashion leader in the Anglo world. ( as well as the most debauched regime in Europe at that time) Women, particularly of the Demi-monde went to Paris to outfit themselves (and acquire maids, skills, lovers etc., ). These outfits would set a trend back in Great Britain. Along with the Burlesque associations, It’s suggested that the French maid provided the normal services of any Demimondaine ladies' maid which seems to have included keeping the gentlemen busy while Madam was with another admirer. Seems a short hop to the New World, who aped Old World fashions and the sexual implications. 19 SEXY SUMPTUOUS STOCKINGS WINNER KRISTY MICHELLE RACHEL 20 How many Candles???? TO ALL MY FRIENDS….. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! XXXXXXXX ANGELA KAITLYN ROBERT HEATHER #1 MARIE MIKI ANNE 21 HEATHER #2 MARK The rest of the muppets who didn’t send pictures in!!!!! FASHION >>>>>>> ARE YOU KILLING YOUR FEET? From Stilettos to Sandals, here’s the damage bad shoes can do…and how to avoid it. W E all know high heels are bad for our feet, but now flip-flops have been branded “dangerous” by doctors. Around 55,000 people went to hospital with flip-flop related injuries such as twisted ankles and strained tendons in 2002. So what footwear is the safest, and how can you put your best foot forward? Foot foe:Stilettos Foot foe:Flip-flops “Problems arise when women who’ve been wearing high heels all winter suddenly switch to flip-flops,” says podiatric surgeon Mike O’Neill. “High heels shorten the Achilles tendon whereas flip-flops stretch it out, so the switch can cause micro tears, resulting in chronic heel pain. SOLE SURVIVOR “If your used to wearing heels, go for a flip-flop with a slight heel, or save flip-flops for the beach! “High heels force the foot into an unnatural shape that can accelerate the formation of bunions. Heels also put tremendous pressure on the balls of the foot and can cause lower back problems. SOLE SURVIVOR Limit the damage with regular calf stretches. Facing a wall, place one foot in front of the other. With knees straight, lean into the wall and hold for 30 seconds. You should feel the stretch in your back calf. 22 Foot foe:Wedges “Wedges tend to be very high which means if you do come off them, you’re in danger of breaking an ankle.” The thick sole also hinders balance “Shoes should bend where the toes join the foot but wedges are totally rigid.” SOLESURVIVOR Look for styles with a more curved sole. “The toe section should be slightly off the ground, allowing for a more natural heel-to-toe motion, an ankle strap will also increase stability. FASHION>>>>>>> Foot foe:Trainers Foot foe:Pointy Shoes Compressed toes are rubbed against the shoe’s upper, forming hard skin which can develop into corns. ”Pressure from the shoe pushes the corns down on the nerves and blood vessels underneath, which is extremely painful.” SOLE SURVIVOR “Soft leather uppers have more give than synthetic fabrics; choose an ankle strap so shoes don’t need to be fastened so tightly to stay on. “Trainers take longer than overnight to dry out. So if you wear the same pair the next day, you’re putting on a damp shoe, increasing the risk of infection.” SOLE SURVIVOR “Never wear the same pair two days in a row, wear clean socks and dry feet and toes thoroughly.” Foot foe:Ballet pumps “The thin soles have no shock absorption whatsoever, which puts huge pressure on the knee and hip joints. A lot of women also walk on the heel and scrunch their toes up to keep them on. In time that leads to deformities like claw toes. SOLE SURVIVOR Keep your heel in the shoe and use Heel Pads (from chemists). “Some versions have a knobbly, rubber sole, they offer more shock absorption. 23 Foot foe:Strappy Sandals “When it comes to blisters, these are the worst offenders. The high hell forces the foot forward on to the straps, creating huge pressure on a small area of skin.” SOLE SURVIVOR Opt for styles with lots of straps to spread the pressure. Wear them in around the house with popsocks first and use a Anti-blister stick(from chemists) where the straps touch the skin. FASHION>>>>>>> You aint nuthin’ but a Hound-Dog!! You cant keep a Classic down , and they don’t come more classic than this! The Dog-tooth design is back in town! Dorothy Perkins Black & White Dogstooth print Jersey wrap Dress £25 Dorothy Perkins Black & White Dogs-tooth Sweetheart £20 ^^ Electrique Boutique $9.99 Dorothy Perkins Black & White Dogs-tooth Blouse £20 Dorothy Perkins Black & White Dogs-tooth print Top £14 24 FASHION>>>>>>> Dorothy Perkins Dogtooth design Alice Band £4 Dorothy Perkins Dogs-tooth effect Hoop Earrings £5 Ebay Dogtooth Mini River Island Dogtooth Baguette £24.99 Beeunique Black & White Dogtooth Belt £4 25 NEXT Black & White Dogtooth Check Jacket £54.99 NEXT Black & White Dogtooth Check Skirt £26.99 NEXT Black & White Dogtooth Check Sleeveless Dress £35.00 GreatUniversal Funnel-neck Jacket £95.00 26 STRESSED!! Stress Relief in Modern Life As I approach my 60th life year, and celebrating 25 years of recovery from alcohol, I see stress relief as a real issue for everyone, especially in the frenetic wired world we live in. Sometimes, I’ve suggested some of the relievers discussed here as, “alternative highs”, to recovering newcomers, but that’s a misnomer, since the object is not to get “high”, but to live with some kind of harmonious balance, the search for serenity, or spirituality, if you will. Sky-diving: I started sky-diving, when I was 49 years old, because it’s something I had wanted to do since I was 18. In the Army, in the 1960’s, I missed a chance to go Airborne, due to my active duty draft status [short length of service], and later due to unit assignment. I was told by my sky-diving instructor, that military jumping is different, so since I hadn’t picked up any bad habits, doing military jumping, and due to my age, I’d learn better, but not necessarily faster. The joy of skydiving for me, was the bird’s eye view of the world I got, once the canopy opened. At an altitude, anywhere from 3000-5500 feet, [for novices, like me]. The amazing quiet, was another gift, floating to earth, with little or no noise, except for the wind rustling parts of the ‘chute. Landing alive and unhurt was pretty joyous, too, [especially in Ireland; where we shared a landing zone with sheep. That was a lot of fun, and we’d exited near a bog, so missing the landing zone could have been muddy and messy, to say the least]. For some jumpers, it’s all about adrenaline, which it sure can be, especially doing free-fall stunts, turns, or other manoeuvres. But for me, it’ll always be under canopy and the God’s-eye, bird’s-eye view. Once I’d started doing it, the ground and maps took on new meaning, like where are telegraph/electric poles usually located? {Generally, along the sides of roads, making the middle of a field a safer place to land}. Thus, I’d learn to re-appreciate the physical world I lived in. 27 Digital photography: This has been relatively recent, due to previous stints as a fire-fighter, and police/probation officer, I’m a fire/cop buff, including radio-scanner listening/dispatching-which has gotten me to crime or fire scenes, at early stages. There, I can “shoot” human-interest , or action-type shots, [as opposed to blood and gore type shots]- the fun comes in being able to transfer the raw shots to computer, then clean them up and publish them, wherever. This reliever works equally well for shots of people, sports, flower gardens, or buildings, or streets, or whatever interests you, to photograph. Notice how photographic the internet has become, Fotki, Yahoo Photos, Flickr, etc.. Thinking outside the box about ordinary places: Is there a 3-story or higher, parking garage where you live? Go to it, park, go to the top, and just observe, below, above, around; you may be amazed at what you see and hear, I know I was. We spotted roof-top gardens on buildings, which gardens you can’t see from ground level. Tall office buildings are naturals for this, “stop and smell the roses”, type observing, hence the fascination with the Empire State Bldg., Eiffel Tower, etc.. One of my favorite places is a College of Art here in Columbus. The student exhibition hall there, where the students display class work/projects, with a heavy emphasis on graphic design, shows more creativity than you can shake a stick at. On a bad, stressful day, this is like a walk in the park for your mind. The art gallery, nearby, is ok, but the students’ work just transports you to other places, stress-free, quickly. Thus, if all you have is a lunch-hour, you’re in luck with a place like this. Parks are a great stress-reliever type place to go, esp. little pocket parks, which our city is dotted with. Watching kids run, play; or, dogs cavorting, or lovers strolling, gets my head right when I’m trying to mentally stuff ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag. Watching the poetry of human commerce, [peoplewatching], has it’s own rewards. You never know who you’ll meet, or what you’ll see. Ordinary places, after work hours, or on week-ends, often have a different perspective. Rivers, bridges over rivers, under bridges which go over water, all are great places to “get away from it all”If the world is spinning at 105 km per hour, how fast do I have to spin? I don’t, that’s the point. slan, Jim Halleran admirerr 28 IT’S AGONY!!!! The internet vs. reality!! (An American viewpoint) What if the real world is like the internet? Have you looked at the internet, lately? Without the internet you wouldn't be reading this. So, its worth it, right? Well, to begin with, isn't it total-leigh of our creation? Where was it a hundred years ago? Just shimmering out there as a potential in the mind of man? Why did it come into being? Do you suppose that those that started it planned it to be like this?? No, I don't think so. People are investing incredible amounts of time in it, cause it mirrors life. Only its easier. But, its not life and has its limitations. We can pour our creativity, hopes and dreams in there and it has no real power, but it is great for fantasy. What fantasy? That's when we can delve into or engage in things that are in our personalities, without affecting our real lives. Its like playing Doctor, when you're a kid, or Tea Party with your stuffed animals(and your Mom). Only much more elaborate. And we can bring others into these fantasies and simulate real world-ish events. We can project ourselves into situations that we might like to try, but cannot in our daily life. As more and more people climb into their psuedo selves, and communicate with others, and create elaborate structures of unreality, their lives gain a "richness" that they don't think they can have in real life. "I'm the captain of this ship". "I'm the alien hunter!" "I'm trapped and can't get out!" "I'm bound and gagged." "I'm ......." not what I really am! And I don't have to pay for what I could be if it were to happen in my real life, so let's go have fun!! The internet is a great simulator, but it's, also, a powerful comunications device. Pay bills, talk to friends, gamble, imagine things as they could (or 29 could never) become. But, why is the internet here? We can do this all within our own minds. Problem is our minds are too powerful!! If we imagine all these things that we can do on the internet, it could become real in our lives. Isn't this a tip on how our lives truly are? If you fantasize in your mind, pretty soon its starts to happen, or little bits of it happen. If you start thinking about bondage a lot, don't you soon find yourself looking at padlocks in the grocery store? Or rope? Or duct tape? and you wonder, and get scared, and stop thinking about it, cause you really don't want it to happen. Or, lusting after your best friend's wife. What if this changes your behaviour just a little bit? And you say something to her jokingly. And she responds appropriately. And now you really start thinking about it. And what about when you imagine yourself ful-leigh dressed in the fanciest dress, Miss America? Miss Drag Queen? So, you get some underwear and hide in your room when everyone left and then.....No you're much better off getting on line and finding these things in a safe cybe environment!! But, doesn't that tell you about the mind? Could it be that you really DO control your world? As you think of things as if they were going to happen, does a little bit of it happen? Or, you notice, "Hey, I was just thinking about that!" Shouldn't that be a clue that we do control the course of our lives? Well, if this is true, yeah, I agree, we aren't very good at it. Or we don't really KNOW ourselves, do we? I think we spend a lot of our time unfocussed, and waste a lot of our energy on thoughts and ideas that shouldn't really happen and offends our real moral code, therefore we inhibit the very thoughts that we are thinking with other thoughts. Or, pehaps, we start a train of thought that is effectively countered by others and their thoughts. Wife? Children? How many times have you thought you'd like to do something, and immediately thought, "No, she (or he) wouldn't allow that." or "That would not be good for the kids to see." But, in our creativity, we still have to think the thought and counter it to keep it from happening, don't we? The internet isn't like that. We can do things there and not have the repercussions, right? When we share those thoughts with others who may be less inhibited, those thoughts could be activated by others, couldn't they? We can pretend we real-leigh are a female, and we accumulate some friends and talk to each other. Then, you have to send pictures. Then you find a way to secret-leigh go out with those friends. The internet is safe, right? Well, what if NOT? So we maintain a seperate secret identity, so no one can trace it back to us. Well, except the FBI. And the President with his war powers! Be careful, lest you get that knock on the door and sent to Gitmo. There is no habeas corpus there, you know. And what was your real crime? Fantasizing on the internet, that really has no power. Right?? 30 In the PAPER’S “ A sex-swap sailor didn’t blow kisses at shipmates – she was just pouting. “ Drusilla Marlan was prone to pursing her lips, said a friend Suzanne McLeod, also born a man. The transsexuals arrived at an employment tribunal on bikes yesreday, just like Little Britain “Lay-dees” Emily and Florence, played by Matt Lucas,32 and David Walliams,34. Miss McLeod said she had seen the red-head pouting many times but had never taken this as a sexual come-on. Miss Marland, 48, claims she was hounded out of her job with P & O Ferries due to constant jibes. The engine room worker said fellow staff quizzed her on her “balls” and referred to her as “ he”. Miss Marland , of Bristol, claims she was forced to resign from the Pride of Bilbao, which sails from Portsmouth. The tribunal also heard that male colleagues complained that Miss Marland joked one of them could be her first sexual partner after she had the full op – claims she denies. Miss McLeod, 49, said “As for her “exaggerated pouting”, I have never attatched any meaning to it. It’s a mannerism, that’s all.” P & O Ferries admits sexual discrimination but denies unfair dismissal. The hearing, at Southampton, continues. OK gang, personally I think that Miss Marland has brought a lot of this on herself, and, her mode of transport is either unfortunate, or blatantly provoking, either way, unwise. Yours views please xx 31 You couldn’t make it up!! But, But, a fashion statement or just a disguise? What do you think? And finally … From a problem page in a UK tabloid “ I’ve started dressing as a woman when I go out and I now realise I was never meant to be a man. I’m 27 and not the best-looking guy around. I’ve been trying different ways of enjoying myself. I visited London and met up with a transvestite I got to know over the internet. I ofton meet my new friend and with his help I’m dressing up and having a social life I always dreamed of. I find myself hoping that I look good enough to eat. My only problem is that, although I love slipping into high heels and stockings, I wonder if I’m going too far and will eventually turn gay. I’m so convincing as a woman that I’ve bought a complete wardrobe. The buzz is great and girls take time to chat with me now. But my new friend wants to have sex with me and for us to live together. I’m confused and nervous. What should I do? “ You don’t want to know what I think!!! But let’s hear your views. Write to – [email protected] 32 Articles from the SUN and Daily Star Newspapers CENTRE--FOLD CENTRE I was born in Newport Gwent, South Wales (England) in 1960. I came into this world weighing just four pounds. A very small baby boy. I'm told I was in the ICU (intensive care unit) for about three months after my birth. I spent most of my childhood living with my grandmother and grandfather. I remember when I was about five or six years of age, playing with my dolls under the dinning table with my brother. Even back then, I just knew I should have been born a girl. No one told me I should only play with boy toys, so to me it was the norm to play dress up and play with dolls. As I grew older I stopped playing with dolls. As a teenager I started taking an interest in fashion. I was not like other boys. Soon I was to find out that I had the sprit of a girl. S A N D R A C O L L I N S 33 At the age of 15, I told my grandmother about a person I read about in the newspaper called Renee Richards. I shared with her my interest in desiring to have a sex-change operation. My grandmother laughed but I think she knew how I truly felt even at that age. In 1976 at the age of sixteen, I "came out" to the rest of the Family. It wasn't easy. My mother took me to see a Dr. Bassey. He told her that I was in fact was a transsexual and not gay. After a big fight with the education board, I returned to the same high school after the summer, as Sandra and on oestrogen hormones. I was bullied at first but as the term came to an end I was everybody's friend. My first job after high school was working for Lipton's supermarket as a check out girl. In 1979 at age 19, I moved to London. I found work in a well known department store as an assistant. I also did a little modelling for their news advertisements. Seeing Dr. Randell at the Charing Cross Hospital in London, I was on my way to becoming the woman I am today. On the day I was due to go in for my SRS, Dr Randell told me to get out of the hospital, because I was wearing a pair of jeans. I was 23 at the time and so very upset but all was not lost. My boyfriend at the time was from Zaandam in Holland so we packed up and moved there. My mother helped me find a good surgeon and after saving the money and with the help of my family I underwent SRS (sex reassignment surgery) on May 10th 1986 at the age of 26. I felt so free and very happy but sadly my boyfriend and I split up four years after. I moved back to the United Kingdom (Brighton East Sussex) and stayed with my best friend Debbie. We are still the best of friends. S J Not long after I met a wonderful man, Richard. I was working doing runway modelling and at the time Richard was a well known night club owner. Not long afterwards we were married. It was illegal back then but no one asked for my ID or birth certificate. We were married on July 8th, 1991. What should have been my happiest day turned out to be a total nightmare. Someone I knew very well from my childhood informed the press about my wedding. It literally scared Richard and I out our wits. We spent two days locked in the apartment but the press would not leave us alone. Richard and I took the bull by it's horns and came out of the "closet" from 1990 through 1998. 34 Other talk shows I was featured on were: Kilroy, Time & the place with John Stapleton, Good Morning with Anne & Nick, The Vanessa Show with Vanessa Feltz and Friday night live with Nicky Campbell. My stage name back in the 90's was Nanda Saint-claire - Collins. It was also the name I used when modelling. In September of 1998, I came to South Florida with Richard and started looking for a place we could call home. We found a lovely two bedroom apartment and Richard and I moved in. He went back to the UK to sort out business there and traveled back and forth to Fort Lauderdale, Florida to check on me. Sadly in 2000, after ten years of marriage, Richard called me and told me we were getting a divorce because he had met someone who could give him a family. Richard hurt me so badly. I didn't think I could ever forgive him. That night I went out with friends and met Maurice and we started seeing each other regularly. One year later we started living together. Today, Richard and I remain friends. He currently resides in the Philippines with his new wife and their nine month old son Julian. Maurice and I have now been together for six years. We just celebrated our sixth anniversary together and are still very much in love. Currently, I still do a little modeling on and off. In 1995-96, I was in a movie called "Alive and Kicking." I'm also appearing in another movie that's being released later in 2006. I've been in the entertainment business on and off for about 30 years. I started at the age of eleven when I was chosen to appear in a pro-production of Oliver Twist (the Musical). I was with the New Venture players just over five years and also worked in the Sound Of Music, Call me Madam, Oklahoma, Brigadoon and Christmas Crackers. Every Thursday evening and every other Saturday night, I'm an entertainer at "Trixie's on Dixie Show Bar" in Hollywood, Florida. As of 2006, I've been at Trixie's over two years. It's a very nice upscale Show bar. Very clean. We get a great mixed crowd of people. With gay, straight, post and pre-op transsexual women. 35 It's like one big family where everyone knows your name. (Cheers!) I sometimes perform illusions of Cher, Marilyn Monroe, Liza Minnelli and Anne Lenox. I also host a Transsexual night at Trixie's on Thursdays which usually attracts 30 to 50 plus post and pre-op women. I enjoy volunteering and helping other trans gals with advice about SRS. Over the years I've performed at benefit shows to help raise money for many HIV and AIDS charities in South Florida. To all my pre-op MTF sisters who might be reading this...there is definitely a "peaceful light at the end of the rainbow." Today, I have such a wonderful life. I deeply believe if you want something bad enough, please go for it. You really can have it. If you only Believe! Love...Sandy. 36 H E A L T H When men are asked the first thing they notice about a woman, it is usually their eyes. OK, OK, men look at other "things" as well, but eyes are always at or near the top of the list. When you stand at the makeup counter or aisle, it can be confusing. Should you get lengthening, curling, thickening or non-smudging? And what, just what, is the difference between each of these anyway? (Is there a difference, or are these mascara types all hype, designed to get you to buy more than one type?) Mascaras these days are loaded with proteins & waxes all designed to condition your lashes & come in problem-solving formulations & Lengthening mascaras have dense bristles that allow you to get more mascara on your lashes & especially on the tips of your lashes. Thickening mascara When you want bulk, you do want to buy the mascaras touted as 'thickening.' These products contain a thicker formula of waxes & silicone polymers that coat lashes & make them appear bulkier. Waterproof mascara Obviously these 'non-smudging' mascaras contain special synthetic formulas meant to repel moisture. But these can be harsh on your lashes (to prevent breaking lashes, you can put Vaseline on them before you go to sleep). Non-clumping mascara These contain ingredients like silk extract & glycerin. The applicators also have longer wands which allow for a more even application. 37 B E A U T Y H E A L T H Tip #1: How to use a lash comb. For some, lash combs are simply too fussy. But for some makeup artists, they're a great invention & keep lashes glob-free & perfectly separated. So how to use? Apply mascara at the lash base, wiggling the brush & then comb the mascara to the tips of your lashes. Not into the lash comb? Get rid of clumps without them by removing excess mascara from the wand. Wipe wand on tissue, this eliminates blobs BEFORE you start. Tip #2: Try a clean mascara wand. Sweep a clean, fresh mascara wand through lashes when they're wet. Tip #3: Don't shy away from colored mascara. Basic mascara rules are simple: Black works for everyone but blondes. Blondes should opt for brown/black by day & reserve black for night. Blue mascara, however, can brighten blue eyes, purple mascara can make brown eyes pop. & Tip #4: When applying mascara, wiggle the wand at the base of the lashes. It's the mascara placed near the roots (not the tips) that gives the illusion of length. Tip #5: Thin, short brushes are best. A thinner brush allows you to get into the corner of eyes. Short brushes give you more control. Tip #6: Give a few coats to the edges by blinking. Blink onto the brush to give ends an extra coat. Tip #7: Powder under the eye before applying mascara. Sometimes mascara smudges because it's attracted to oily concealer or eye creams. T I P S T I P S 38 Tip #8: Use an eyelash curler BEFORE applying mascara. Curling lashes gives eyes the appearance of being wider & brighter. Shoot hot air from your blow-dryer on the mascara curler for 3-5 seconds to warm it up before curling lashes. Touch it first to make sure it's not TOO hot Tip #9: Zigzag the wand. Zigzagging the wand back & forth during application helps cut down clumps. B E A U T Y Tip #10: For a dramatic look, apply mascara only to the upper lashes. To make eyes seem wider, apply to the bottom, too. But make sure you give lashes a light touch. Not great at getting those bottom lashes? Try putting a tissue under them before application. Tip #11: Use a mascara primer. Primers coat lashes & separate them before you apply mascara. Makeup artists swear by this relatively new invention. Tip #12: Want that 2nd coat? Just make sure to do it before the first coat dries, otherwise you'll get clumps. Tip #13: Do NOT pump wand in & out of the tube. This only introduces air into the tube, which will cause your mascara to dry out sooner than it should. Tip #14: Another smudgeproof tip -- bend the wand. A top makeup artist once gave his secret to his steady hand: he always bends his wand at a right angle. Tip #15: Wait 5 seconds before blinking. You don't want to paint your lids, do you? Tammi’s Torment’s QUIZ WHEN??? 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) In what year did Mother Teresa of Calcutta win the Nobel Peace Prize? In what year did Margaret Thatcher become Prime Minister? In which year was the first Miss World contest held? In New Orleans, the Mardi Gras festival occurs each year in which month? In which year was the first email sent? WHO??? 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) Who discovered the smallpox vaccination? Who released an album entitled The Six Wives of Henry VIII? Who plays Lynette Scavo in the TV series Desperate Housewives? Who shot Martin Luther King in 1968? Who in Greek mythology fell in love with his own reflection? (Hmmm I WONDER?) WHICH??? 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) Which famous artist and inventor died at Amboise Castle in France, 1519? Which was the first European country to give women the vote? Which sign of the Zodiac are people born on 30th October? Which American horse race is run at Churchill Downs? Which tennis player was stabbed while playing against Steffi Graf in Hamburg 1993? WHAT??? 1) 2) 3) 4) 5) What type of creature is a Garibaldi? What colour is the gemstone garnet? What type of weapon is a Falchion? What type of food is Quark? What is the chemical symbol for the element Potassium? 39 Can you identify the 10 characters below?? 2 4 6 3 5 7 9 8 10 40 CARTOON CAPERS 1 A Spell with HEATHER Mabon (Alban Elfed)/Autumnal Equinox By Heather Willis Now we have come to the second harvest festival which is named for the Welsh God. Also known at the Feast of Avalon. This harvest festival is what is known at our Thanksgiving, and the time of the final harvest of the year’s crops. Again, fruits, grains, and vegetables are associated with this festival, as well as the newly made wine. The food that is harvest at this time would be added to the foods harvested at Lúghnasadh in storage for the Barren month (dark half) known as winter. Mabon Recipes. APPLE BUTTER (LOTWAERICK) 4 quarts Apple 2 quarts Water 1 1/2 quarts Cider 1 1/2 pounds Sugar 1 teaspoon Cinnamon 1 teaspoon Allspice 1 teaspoon Cloves Wash and slice the apples into small bits. Cover with the water and boil until soft. Press through a sieve to remove skins and seeds. Bring cider to a boil and then add apple pulp and sugar and cook until it thickens, constantly stirring to prevent scorching. Add spices and cook until it is thick enough for spreading. Pour into sterilized jars and seal. BEEF & BARLEY VEGETABLE SOUP 3 pounds Soup Meat 2 Tablespoons Fat 2 quarts Water 1 1/2 Tablespoons Salt 1/4 Tablespoon Pepper 2 Tablespoons Minced Parsley 1/2 cup Barley 1 cup Carrots, cubed 1/4 cup Onion, chopped 1/2 cup Celery, chopped 2 cups Canned Tomatoes, drained 1 cup Peas Brown meat with bones in hot fat. Place meat, soup bone, water, seasonings and parsley in a soup kettle. Cover tightly and simmer 1 hour. Add barley and simmer 41 another hour. Cool and skim off excess fat. Remove soup bone. Add carrots, onion, celery and tomatoes. Simmer 45 minutes. Add fresh peas and continue cooking 15 minutes. If leftover soup becomes too thick, dilute with beef broth. Can be doubled or tripled and freezes well. COCK-A-LEEKIE SOUP 3 1/2 pounds Frying Chicken, cut into 8 pieces 1 pound Beef Shanks, cut into 1" pieces 6 cups Chicken broth 3 slices Thick cut Bacon 1 Tablespoon Dried leaf Thyme 1 Bay leaf 3/4 cup Pearl Barley 1 1/2 cups Chopped Leek, white only Salt and Pepper to taste 2 Tablespoons Chopped parsley Put the chicken, beef, stock, bacon, thyme, and bay leaf in a large, heavy pot and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, covered, for 30 minutes. Meanwhile boil barley in 1 1/2 cups water for 10 minutes. Drain and set aside. Remove chicken for pot. When cool enough to handle, debone and set aside. Add leeks and barley to the pot, and simmer 15 minutes. Remove beef shanks and debone. Chop meat coarsely, and return to the pot, along with the chicken. Simmer covered, for 5 minutes more. Season with salt and pepper to taste and garnish with parsley. BLACKBERRY WINE 3 pounds of blackberries 3 pounds of sugar 1 gallon of boiling water Wash berries, put in large bowl and pour over them the boiling water. Stir well, then cover the bowl and leave for ten days. Strain liquid through muslin, add the three pounds of sugar and stir well. Cover the bowl and leave for three days, but stir daily. Put into bottles and cork, loosely at first. The wine will be ready to drink in six months. GARLIC - ROASTED POTATOES & GREENS 2 pounds Red-Skinned Potatoes, sliced 6 large Cloves Garlic, sliced lengthwise 1/3 cup Extra-Virgin Olive Oil 3 Tablespoons Wine Vinegar Salt Pepper 4 cups Watercress Sprigs, rinsed 2 Tablespoons Chives, chopped Mix potatoes, garlic and oil in a 10 x 15" rimmed pan. Bake at 450 degrees until well browned, about 1 1/4 hours. Turn vegetables with a wide spatula every 10-15 minutes. Pour vinegar into pan, scraping with spatula to release browned bits and to mix with potatoes. Add salt and pepper to taste. Pour potatoes into a wide, shallow bowl. Chop half the watercress and mix with potatoes. Tuck remaining watercress around potatoes and sprinkle with chives. 42 OLD-FASHIONED GINGER BEER For The Starter: 1/2 Ounce Yeast 2 Teaspoons Sugar To Feed The "Plant": 7 Teaspoons Ground Ginger 7 Teaspoons Sugar To Flavour: 1 1/2 Pounds Sugar Juice Of 2 Lemons Mix starter ingredients with 3/4 pint of warm water in a glass jar. Stir, cover and leave in a warm place for 24 hours. This is your starter "plant". Feed the "plant" with 1 teaspoon each of ground ginger and sugar each day. After 7 days strain through a fine sieve. Dissolve the sugar in 2 pints of water. Add the lemon juice and the liquid from the "plant". Dilute with 5 pints of water, mix well and store in corked bottles for at least 7 days. Use strong bottles as pressure may build up which will cause thin bottles to explode. For the same reason use corked bottles rather than those with a more secure closure that will not 'give' under pressure. The amount of sugar in the final stage can be varied according to taste. PECAN PIE 1-1/4 Cups Pecan Pieces 2 Eggs, Slightly Beaten 1 Cup Light Karo Syrup 1/4 Cup Sugar 2 Tablespoons Flour 1/4 Teaspoon Salt 1 Teaspoon Vanilla. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Spread pecans in an unbaked 9-inch pie shell. Mix remaining ingredients together and pour over pecans. Bake slowly at 375 degrees until done, approximately 1 hour. Hint: Cover the edges of the pie crust with foil about halfway through baking to prevent crust from getting too brown before the pie is done. ROAST FILLET OF BEEF 1 Fillet of beef (5-6 lb) trimmed 5 Garlic cloves, slivered 1 teaspoon Salt 1 teaspoon Freshly ground pepper Tabasco sauce 1 cup Soy sauce 1/2 cup Olive oil 1 cup Port wine 2 teaspoons Thyme 1 bunch Watercress 43 To prepare the fillet, make slits in it and put slivers of garlic in the slits. Rub well with salt, pepper and Tabasco. Combine the soy sauce, olive oil, port and herbs and place the fillet in this marinade in a baking dish for at least 1/2 hour unrefrigerated, or an hour or more in the refrigerator. Turn several times while it is marinating. Preheat oven to 425 degrees F. Place the fillet on a rack in a roasting pan. Roast for 30-35 minutes, basting occasionally with the marinade. A meat thermometer should register 120~ for very rare, 125~ for rare, 130~ for medium-rare. After it is removed from the oven, the internal temperature will rise as much as another 10~. Allow the fillet to rest, covered with foil, up to 30 minutes. If it needs to sit longer, you might try a catering trick: Wrap the fillet, just out of the oven, in plastic wrap. Unwrap just before slicing. Cut into slices and place on a warm platter; garnish with sprigs of watercress. IRISH HERB SCONES 1/2 pound Mealy potatoes 4 Tablespoons Flour 1/4 teaspoon Salt 4 Tablespoons Oil 2 Tablespoons Chopped parsley 1/2 teaspoon Dried dill 1/4 teaspoon Savory 1/4 teaspoon Marjoram 1/4 teaspoon Powdered sage Oil for frying Boil or bake the potatoes, then pass through a foodmill. Mix the flour, salt, oil & herbs with the potatoes. On a floured board, roll this dough to a thickness of about ¼ inch. Cut into triangles 3 or 4 inches wide. Fry in very hot oil on both sides until light golden. HONEY WHOLE WHEAT BREAD 9 cups whole-wheat flour 4 teaspoons salt 2 pkg. active dry yeast 1 1/2 cups milk 1 1/2 cups water 6 tablespoons butter 1/2 cup honey Sift together 3 cups flour, salt, and yeast. Combine milk, water, butter, and honey in a saucepan and heat over low heat until liquids are warm (butter need not melt completely). Gradually add to dry ingredients and beat 2 minutes. Add remaining flour a cup full at a time until a soft dough forms. Turn out onto lightly floured surface and allow to rest 10 minutes. Knead until smooth and elastic, about 10 minutes. Place in large greased bowl and turn to grease all sides of dough. Cover and allow to rise in a warm place until doubled in bulk, about one hour. Punch dough down and turn out onto lightly floured surface. Divide dough in half and shape each half into a loaf. Place into greased loaf pans. Cover and let rise in warm place until double in bulk, about one hour. Bake at 375 degrees for 35-40 minutes. Remove from pans and cool on racks. 44 JJ ’s Book Case The First Lady By April Ashley Hello my name is Julie, I’ve volunteered my services to Mandy for book reviews, so please bear with me my darlings this is my first attempt. Ok as the title says “The First Lady”, this is a book about the life of April Ashley, Some who I believe to be one of the first people to push for change. Starting life in Liverpool April knew she was different, as I sure we all do at some stage in our lives. The book is amazingly so open, of course this is what you would expect it to be after all it is about someone’s life. At times its sad and at times its rather funny, but whilst reading through I started to relate to how she was coping during those dark years, it made me think about my own transitioning. From the Liverpool slums to catwalk stardom, from marriage to celebrity one night stands. April reveals her deepest secrets that carved out her life. A true campaigner for the community and for life itself , if you lacked confidence before you read this then be prepared to walk tall and be proud of who you are. April Ashley was a "Vogue" model, the lady of the manor and a glamorous young woman, yet she was living with a secret that was to shake the world. She became the world's most famous transsexual when her secret was revealed in 1970. The revelation ruined her marriage to war hero Arthur Corbett and left her battling against prejudice in a time when gender operations were a taboo subject. Christened George Jamieson in 1935, she was one of nine children brought up by a drunk sailor. She felt disillusioned with her physical appearance and gender and soon suffered great self-loathing as she became withdrawn from her family. After a suicide attempt and electric shock treatment, she decided to go through with a sex-change operation. Since then, she has never looked back becoming a beautiful woman with a glamorous life. In the 1960s and 1970s, she was adored and her popularity was at an ultimate high. Having slept with an array of big names such as Omar Sharif, Peter O'Toole and a one night stand with Michael Hutchence, April was much in demand. Indeed, although she agreed to be photographed by David Bailey yet refused to sit for Picasso and Dali as they were deemed too lecherous! I highly recommend purchasing this book, because once you start to read it you won’t stop. It can be purchased online from Amazon, but I got mine from Sussex stationers for £10. My next review will be “The Danish Girl” if Mandy ever lets me write again.xxx 45 The Danish Girl By David Ebershoff Well now this review is about “The Danish Girl”. It’s a fictional story based on true events set in the 1920’s onwards, its about the life of a character called Einar. The story is set around how a man and wife come to terms with Einars Female alto ego Lily, this is in fact about the first sex-change operation that took place in the world. The time is 1925, the place is Copenhagen, and the protagonist of David Ebershoff's exquisite debut novel The Danish Girl is one Einar Wegener, a painter who specializes in dreary Danish landscapes. As the novel opens, Einar's American-born wife Greta, also a painter, is trying to finish a portrait of a female opera singer. But she's stuck -- she needs a model in order to finish the work. So she asks Einar -- small of frame, delicate as a tea cup, possessor of womanly beauty -- to throw on a dress and act as a stand-in, just this once, so Greta can meet her deadline. Reluctantly, Einar agrees. And as he stands there, draped in this lovely frock, longsuppressed feelings and urges rise in him: namely, his undeniable desire -no, his need -- to transform himself into a woman. That day, Greta teasingly calls him Lili, but it is a name that will stick to him as he slowly but surely sheds his male persona to become a woman. There is a lot of reflection of past times in the book, but is capture’s just how being Transsexual really does throw up different and difficult decisions. There’s not much humour , but lots of feeling and apprehension of how the story will unfold. I like to think that the author has captured the true dynamics of a Transsexual’s complicated and very emotional journey. That’s it for this review, I have another two books on order and one of them I am looking forward to is about the scene in London. So until then bye for now Julie. 46 The Secret Diary of a CD 47 Continued Next week! (Aged 35 2/3rds) I first started dressing up when I was thirteen and at school and have been since, alas, my biggest problem is I still live at home with my parents. So I don’t have the privacy to dress up as and when I like. My dad is rather old fashioned and a bit bigoted and my mum would rather not know that people in her family do this. As you can see I’m stuck between a rock and hard place. I can’t move out it’s to expensive and the only time I get to dress up is when they’re out or on holiday, plus my dress up time got really slashed when my mum retired too. I can’t go round any friend’s houses as they either don’t know about it or as bigoted as my dad. So my choices are limited but I still manage to dress when I want to occasionally but not into the scene that much so I don’t know what it’s like. It takes an effort to hide all my clothes from view too but it is worth the effort, believe me, and there are people out there who can help so it’s not all bad. I went on to a website and became friends with a lovely person and she’s offered me help and advise on my dressing .so in return I’m writing this for her. So where to start? yes I’ve been out dressed, mostly driving my car. But that’s not an ideal solution, it’s still a shell. You also have to get in and out at some point. You then have a problem if you’re caught short, where do you go? If your lucky and it’s a quiet Village you can use the ladies, but what about a busy city centre, where, if you’re not totally convincing, the locals can be unfriendly and I’ve heard mutters behind my back. Then there’s the problem with piercing. If you have your naval pierced no one knows other than you and who you want to show it to. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for ears or nose studs. So do you go without pierce them when you dress or wear clip ones Not as convincing but them’s the breaks . If your mum’s like mine she’ll do your washing and ironing, so you got to hide all your dresses and skirts because she’ll only have shock when she puts your male clothes away. You’ll also have to be wary when and how you wash and dry your clothes. Two options spring to mind wait till you know everyone’s out for the day or go to the launderette with them in a bag which now doesn’t seem a good idea. Then there’s the make up. I know it’s trial and error anyway but genetic girls hang in groups and offer each other advice. Where can the closet dresser go?? I’ve had some weird looks in Boots and that’s just from the staff.. OK, I’m lucky, I can go to a proper shop if I wanted to but if there’s not one in your area, what can you do? say you’re going to a fancy dress party? they’ll only give advice on the more girly colours like pink lipstick eye shadow and not a more natural . So, you’ve got to trust you own judgment and practice, but be careful, especially if you do it while people are in the house The same can be said for the shaving of body hair. If you want to be convincing ,you’ve got to get rid of it, but how?? There’s your razor, but what about your back? you could use a cream or home waxing strips but then that leaves the hard to reach areas, most beauty salons will only do a chest and back wax for men, that makes the rest easier, but it can hurt!!! Suits you Madam! My, my, I know where to look now if I ever need a secretary! Here are this months entrants in out ‘Suit’ competition! CHERIE MICHELLE MARY SIMONE 48 ABIGAIL AMBER ANDREA LIEGH_ANNE LUCY MARLA 49 DANNI DAWN KAITLYN NATALEE SIMONE 2 50 PAULA Lady Heathers To all you gracious ladies and fine gentlemen, I would like to take this time to welcome you all to my new featured column titled “Victorian Times. I know that all of you will enjoy reading. I myself was raised in a Victorian home and had the Victorian ideal bestowed upon me by my parents and grandparents, and I bestowed those ideals in my two wonderful daughters. The Victorian Era went from the Accession of Queen Victoria to the throne in 1837 and her reign lasted until her death on 22 January 1901 and thus ended the Victorian Era. This Era was marked by the height of the industrial revolution, Fashion, and social status, as well as proper etiquette, etc. Women were groomed for marriage and to run the house hold as a career. There were some who went out to make a name for themselves with in medicine, children’s books, and as Governesses. Over the next couple of issues, I will be discussing etiquette and deportment of the Victorian women in Society, from letter writing to mannerisms, etc. Then after that I will get more into deportment, fashion, etc. L.H. 51 V i c t o r i a n T i m e s Jennifer I don’t know how many of you girls watched Miss Teen USA in August, but if you didn’t you missed a lot. I’ll quickly discuss the gowns, which were absolutely amazing, especially Miss Kentucky, who’s blue and green dress screamed bluegrass state and Miss Georgia, who looked like a brunette Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot. The Swimsuits were fabulous too, even though they were all alike, but aside from the gowns, the one thing that was truly unique was that glorious crown. This masterpiece was designed by Mikimoto, whose pearl stud earrings and necklace sets often accent the beauty of Hollywood hotties like Jessica Alba and Naomi Watts. And like the celebs, this crown is worth serious cash. The $100,000 tiara contains 318 separate diamonds that total out to seven carats and has 141 pearls that came straight from the waters off the coast of Japan. The pearls are arranged in a circle pattern beneath diamond studded flames, which are supposed to depict the mythical Phoenix—at once a vision of class, rebirth and splendour. Ladies, I know I don’t have the green or platinum in my purse to afford such a grand extravagance, but I know that each one of us is deserving of such an exquisite treat. *BTW, Miss Montana took the crown. Yah! Montana! 52 FIRST ENCOUNTER CHAPTER ONE The stocky, balding, fiftyish man on the barstool to my right casually laid his hand on my right thigh, and began to stroke, as he continued blathering to me about his latest business venture or some such thing. I was bored out of my mind, and not the least bit attracted to this persistently annoying little fellow, who couldn’t keep his paws to himself, yet I did nothing to discourage him from caressing my smooth, freshly-shaved leg, clad in a new pair of sheer black Italian hose. His fingers moved steadily upward and disappeared beneath the hem of my dress, above the lacy welts to bare skin. He played a bit with my garters and clips, snapping the elastic against my skin, undoing and redoing the clips. I had always been a little too willing to accept the attentions of men, even truly undesirable men, in order to feel reassured of my beauty and feminine allure. Growing increasingly impatient with my companion’s tiresome jabbering, though aroused by his touch, I turned away for a moment, and there she was, seated directly opposite me at the circular bar, nursing what appeared to be a bourbon on the rocks, and looking straight at me with intense, penetrating scrutiny. We locked eyes, and instead of quickly glancing away, as most people do when caught in the act of watching another, she fixed her searching gaze upon me even more intently. She would not turn her eyes from me, and I was powerless to turn mine from hers. I knew at the moment that I was somehow destined to be hers, and that there was nothing I could do, or wanted to do, to alter that destiny. I knew, also, that I wanted to be hers, all hers, with a deep, almost painful yearning. I had to be hers. I reached down and gently pulled my neighbor’s hand out from my panties and returned it his lap where it belonged. I missed his reaction because my eyes remained joined with hers I was completely absorbed by the ethereally beautiful young woman across the way. She stood, picked up her cocktail, and began strolling around the bar toward me, slowly, seductively, with each step placing one foot directly before the other, as a model would. Our eyes remained locked, inseparable, as she transited the room. She could not have been more than 5’ tall, but her height was well-augmented by a pair of strappy sandals with 5” heels. Her legs were beautiful, slender and shapely, strikingly long for a woman of her height. She was wearing a gorgeous, flowing silk chiffon dress, bias cut, in teal, above the knee, tight and fitted in the bodice, cut square at the neckline, low, but ever so tastefully so. She was petite and delicate, with a radiant, creamy porcelain 53 complexion, bright, warm, laughing eyes, and a billowing mane of auburn waves cascading below her shoulders. Perfectly demure and feminine. She made quite a contrast with me, dark-eyed, outrageously tall, slender and longlegged, strikingly made up, with bright red gloss on my full lips, matching bright red acrylic nails, shoulder length brunette wig, a very short (stocking welts showing when seated with legs crossed) black sleeveless cocktail sheath, sheer black hose and pumps, and multiple strings of faux pearls around my neck and wrists. I am obsessed with pearls, faux and genuine, and I am rarely seen without at least two strings. “I’m Sarah.” “I’m Donna,” I replied, softly and tentatively, with a slight quaver to my voice. I felt the stocky man’s hand once again alight on my thigh and begin to creep back up toward the prize he had so diligently pursued through the evening, and this time I slapped it away. “What the fuck is your problem?” I didn’t reply. I didn’t have to. Sarah glared witheringly at the man. “You‘re dismissed now, troll. Go home. You have nothing to offer a lady of this quality.” Shaken and speechless, my erstwhile molester slid off the barstool and shuffled away. Sarah turned back to me. “I’ve been watching you for quite some time, you know. You have no interest in that man. Why have you wasted half your evening on him?” “I, I honestly don’t know,” I stammered. “You’re very lovely, Donna. Do you know that? You’re truly stunning.” “Me?” “Yes, you, silly. Who do you think?” It seemed absurd to me, to receive such high praise from such a woman. I felt every awkward inch of my leggy 6’2” frame (in my stocking feet), a towering 6’7”in the 5” heels I favored. “Look at me. I’m a giantess. My feet are huge. I have an overbite and gap teeth….” “Stop.” I fell silent at her command. “You will not speak of yourself that way. I won’t allow it. You are a beautiful woman, and a lady, in every way, and I don’t want to hear you utter another self-denigrating word. Is that clear?” “Crystal,” I said, stunned by the quiet force of her words. “You are also a lady, and you should comport yourself accordingly. Your sluttish behavior with that man was beneath you. If, in time, I should come to accept you as mine, your public persona will at all times be that of the beautiful, sophisticated, elegant, classy lady that you are.” Accepted as hers? Who was this strangely compelling woman to say such things, within minutes of making my acquaintance? Of course, I had known from the moment our eyes met that I was destined to be hers. Were our minds somehow linked? I kept my questions to myself. Sarah was firm and commanding, yet tender and caring as well. I did not know her, but already I trusted her without reservation. I knew that everything Sarah wanted for me, I 54 needed for myself. Had she been ready to take me, I would have surrendered my entire being, then and there. I motioned to the bartender for another drink. “Donna, since I arrived, you’ve had 3 generously poured Johnnie Walker Blacks. Do you really need a fourth?” I ordered a mineral water with a lemon wedge. “Drink up. We are leaving. Your room or my suite?” We were in the lounge of a large suburban hotel that had somehow evolved into a weekly gathering place for t-girls and their admirers. I was not a regular, but when I did show up, I always took a room, just in case. Sarah took me by the hand, firmly, and led me out. We took the elevator to the 6th floor and strolled arm-in-arm into my room. We sat down and exchanged a bit of small talk. Sarah was again scrutinizing me with laser focus. “Stand up and remove your dress,” came the abrupt instruction. I was startled, but I stood as she had instructed me, unzipped my sleeveless black cocktail sheath and let it slip down to my ankles. “Take off that cincher. You have a lovely, slender, feminine form. You don’t need corsetry. You’re not to wear it again.” I did as I was told. As I undid my garters, my hose began to slip down. “Do you have a pair of thigh highs?” I happened to have a new pair in my bag, the same brand as the hose I had been wearing. I removed my stockings and replaced them with the stay-ups. “Turn around. Donna, you are one of the loveliest gurls I have ever encountered.” Smiling, she added, “And I've seen more than my share. But we really must do something about your lingerie selection. My mother would find that bra too conservative. The thong has to go as well. Thongs really are so unflattering to special women like you. From now on you are to wear sheer, lacy boy cuts. Nor are you ever to tuck in my presence again. Is that clear? (“Crystal,” I again replied) Black, scarlet, perhaps teal. No whites. Whites are rarely flattering and always dull. Stay with the 5” heels. You carry yourself well, and I adore tall women, so your height isn’t an issue.” I offered not a word of dispute or protest. Sarah was right, and I knew it. I trembled a bit and goosebumps rose on my arms as I stood in the middle of the air conditioned room in nothing but bra, panties, pearls, hose and heels. Sarah directed me to walk out into the warm, humid, late summer night and onto the balcony overlooking the hotel’s main entrance on a congested suburban strip. I complied without question. She then had me lean over the rail and present my pantied little ass to her. I was visible to the cars and people below, but the activity going on behind me was just out of sight. Sarah slipped my panties down and forced my legs apart. Again, I offered no resistance. I felt her lube-coated finger begin to probe my boy pussy. One finger, two, then three, gently teasing me open for what was to come. Her nails cut into me a bit, but I did not complain. Sarah pulled her fingers out and told me to maintain my exact position. “Do not move.” I heard her walk back into the room and close the bathroom door behind her. A few minutes later, she 55 returned to the balcony, came up behind me, and forcefully mounted me with a long, thick strapon. I could see from the corner of my eye that she remained fully clothed. Her skirt was pulled up and draped over my lower back. She plunged the well-lubricated dildo deep into me and began to fuck me as I had never been fucked before. I started to moan and cry a bit, but Sarah demanded that I keep silent. I watched cars and people go by, feeling halfcurious eyes on me, wondering if they had any idea what was happening to my rear. I was sure they could see that I was stripped down to my bra. As Sarah rhythmically thrust the dildo deeper and deeper inside, my clitty began to swell and throb. I instinctively reached for it, but Sarah quickly pulled my hand away and forbade me from touching myself. This was the first time I had been fucked by a woman with a strapon, and the feeling was exquisite. Sarah seemed to understand exactly what I needed to feel, in a way no man had ever done. I wanted it to go on forever. Sarah had not yet accepted me (I had to earn that), but she had made her claim. If I were to belong to anyone at all, it would be to Sarah. Sarah, and Sarah alone, now had the right to possess me, and I could not conceive of being possessed by any other. As suddenly as she had taken me from behind, Sarah pulled the dildo out and instructed me to go back into the room and lie down on the bed. I did so, and she removed the dildo from its harness and handed it to me. “I want to see how you pleasure yourself. You may use the dildo as you wish, but you are not to touch your clitty or cum until I permit you to.” I lay on my back, opened my legs wide, shoved the huge rod deep into my ass, and began furiously pumping away, as hard and fast as I could. “Slowly my dear, savor each stroke.” The skin on the head of my hard pink clitty was now stretched to what seemed like a breaking point. My clitty had never been this hard or this big. I barely recognized it as mine. I began to cry and moan loudly, and this time she did not silence me. Sarah settled into a chair at the foot of the bed and watched, intently. She slipped her hand under her skirt. “You may touch yourself now, Donna.” I grabbed on to my engorged clitty and started to stroke. My boy pussy opened ever wider and the dildo penetrated ever deeper. Faster, faster. I couldn’t stop. I could see that my excitement was having a powerful effect on Sarah, as she began to masturbate more vigorously. Her rising excitement in turn fed my excitement, as translucent droplets of precum trickled out of my straining clitty. “Sarah, I don’t think I can hold back much longer.” “Then cum for mama now, cum for mama.” A flash of heat spread from my balls to my furthest extremities. Shot after shot of thick milky white flew out of me, reaching as far as my lips and covering my entire torso in spatters of hot cum. I convulsed repeatedly and violently, and released a new and unfamiliar vocabulary of delighted howls and squeals. My full-body orgasm went on for what seemed like minutes. I wanted it never to end. I could see as well that Sarah had achieved her objective. My performance was plainly a success. 56 Sarah relaxed in her chair and gazed at me, half smiling, with an unexpected sweetness and affection. “This has been lovely, Donna, but I really must go for now.” “No! Please stay!” But I knew Sarah had meant what she said, and it was no use begging and pleading. “I expect to see you at the bar next week. You will have upgraded your lingerie by then.” “Yes, ma’am” “You will not permit anyone to paw you in public that way I saw you do tonight. Those days are over. You are to be a lady. You are not to go beyond polite conversation with anyone but me. Do you understand?” “Understood, ma’am.” “We have much work to do before I will consider accepting you. Are you prepared to undertake the tasks I will be setting for you?’ “Oh, yes, ma’am! I want to be yours more than anything. I will do whatever it takes.” “Be sure you mean that, Donna. I have no patience with gurls who do nothing but talk the talk and don’t walk the walk. I expect action. I demand it.” Sarah stood, pulled up her panties, smoothed her skirt, leaned over and kissed my flushed cheek. “Sweet dreams, my darling Donna,” she called to me just before the door clicked shut behind her. Sweet dreams. Could a mere dream be any sweeter than what I had just experienced? To be continued....? 57 ACROSS GOLDEN POND "Where were you when the world stopped turning, that September day?" Of all the words written by everyone since the September 11, 2001 attacks on the United States, I don’t think anyone captured the feeling as well as Alan Jackson in that song. "Out in the yard with your wife and children, or working on some stage in LA?" In just a few words Jackson found something everyone could relate to. What were you doing? Where were you? You remember don’t you? You remember every detail. We do that with watershed events in history. I remember every excruciating minute of my fifteenth birthday when I arrived home from school and learned that President John F. Kennedy had been shot while riding in a motorcade in Dallas. I would remember it just as succinctly even if it had not happened on my birthday. That was one death. One man. And we watched it happen on television. Live. "Were you teachin’ a class full of innocent children? Or driving down some cold interstate?" President Kennedy was of course not the first president to be assassinated. Just the first that we witnessed as a nation. We were shocked and appalled. The nation grieved for their fallen leader. When any head of state is assassinated, the killer is attacking the international symbol of a country’s policies. There is a warped mentality to it that might be understood if you really tried. The cold blooded murder of over 3,000 innocent civilians who had no influence or connection to their country’s policies cannot under any circumstances be explained or understood. "Did you weep for the children who lost their dear loved ones, and pray for the ones who don't know?" I was at work in a high rise office tower in Albany New York when the news broke that a plane had crashed into the World Trade Centre. We all assumed that it was a small private airplane and that the tragedy would be the lost lives of the pilot and a few unfortunate folks in the building. It was a horrible and needless accident. All too soon we knew the unthinkable truth. Live on television we watched a second plane deliberately fly into the second tower. We watched hundreds of people die in a blinding fireball that engulfed the mid-rise of the second tower. 58 "Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble, and sob for the ones left below?" And worse, having been a building safety officer with training in fire safety and structure fires, knowing that the building could never withstand the destruction of support and the intense heat it was subjected to, I knew even if I didn’t want to admit it, there would be more people dying. "Did you feel guilty 'cause you're a survivor? In a crowded room did you feel alone?" I knew that building better than all of my office mates. I worked in it. I had an office on the 82nd floor of the south tower. Just to refresh your memories, the 82nd floor was the impact floor for that tower. The mercy for me here was that we had moved out years earlier and none of my old office mates were there. "Did you shout out in anger, in fear for your neighbor? Or did you just sit down and cry?" So many of us did both. The criminals who did this wanted to change America. I believe they did. They succeeded in making Americans fearful and mistrusting of anyone of middle eastern decent, they fostered prejudice and anger. They set back the possibility of any good will or acceptance for their cause a hundred years. They turned an entire nation against them and moved us not one iota closer to capitulation with their demands. Make no mistake, these are criminals. They are not freedom fighters or even religious zealots. They are common criminals hiding behind religion to give them credibility in their own land. But it is a false religious mandate. No where does Allah condone or promote cold blooded murder of innocent people. Islam is a peaceful religion. The people who attacked America that day, and all the other nations in the past are doing so not for Islam but for their own agenda, out of hatred and bigotry. They are the lowest of all creatures on earth. It is my belief that when they finally do see Allah, they will find themselves banished from his sight for eternity. Banished as surely as Lucifer himself. Could anyone worship a God who would order such heinous acts? Would God deserve worship if he did? The simple answer there is of course, no. "I'm just a singer of simple songs I don’t take a political stand I watch CNN but I'm not sure I could tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran But I know Jesus and I talk to God and I remember this from when I was young Faith, hope and love are some good things He gave us. And the greatest is love" Where is the love in the hearts of terrorists? 59 Get Well Soon This is just a lil message to a fantastic friend. Lisa , as many of you know, suffered a heart attack at the beginning of August, but in usual Lisa-style she has bounced back as only she can. This lady is a true, true friend and an absolute pleasure to know, take care my Darling, speedy recovery, and all our thoughts and prayers are with you, many hugs babes xxxxxxxxxxxxxx 60 QUIZ ANSWERS WHAT??? 1) A Spat 2) Harvard 3) The Red Baron 4) Yellow 5) 12 WHICH??? 1) Elkie Brookes 2) Venus 3) Harrods 4) The Stirrup(in the ear) 5) Minotaur WHO??? 1) Angela Markel 2) Edith Nesbit 3) Samuel Colt 4) Boy George 5) Ridley Scott HOW??? 1) Seventeen 2) Four 3) Nine 4) Plane Crash 5) Twelve UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL 1) Avocado 2) Payphone 3) Bananas 4) Trainers 5) Computer mouse 6) Toy soldier 7) Computer monitor 8) Ring-binder 61 Conversion Tables SHOES Centimetres 22.8 23.3 23.7 24.6 25.1 25 25.4 25.8 26.3 26.7 27.1 27.5 28 28.4 28.8 29.2 29.6 9 9 9 9 9 10 10 10 10 11 11 11 11 Inches 9 10 10½ 11 1/6 1/3 1/2 2/3 5/6 1/6 1/3 2/3 5/6 1/6 1/3 ½ 2/3 US / Canada 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 12½ 13 Mens US / 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 12½ 13 13½ 14 Canada Womens ** Japanese 23 23½ 24 24½ 25 25½ 26 26½ 27 27½ 28 28½ 29 29½ 30 30½ 31 European 37 37½ 38 39 39½ 40 40½ 41 42 42½ 43 44 44½ 45 46 46½ 47 UK Mens 4 4½ 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 UK Womens 4 4½ 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 Australian 4 4½ 5 5½ 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 Mens Australian 6 6½ 7 7½ 8 8½ 9 9½ 10 10½ 11 11½ 12 12½ 13 13½ 14 Womens Conversion of Women’s Clothing Sizes US US Named UK FR GER ITA AUS 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 X – Small X – Small/Small Small Medium Medium Large Large/X – Large X – Large/1X 1X/2X 2X 3X 3X 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 50 52 54 56 30 32 34 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 36 38 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 54 56 58 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22 24 26 28 62 JAP 5 7 9 11 13 15 17 19 21 23 25 27 Size Conversions, Tops and Dresses Men's Sizes, Shirt, Pants Blouse/Dress Size Medium Shirt, 29-30" waist. Ladies12 40 Jacket, 32" waist (28" clincher) Ladies 10 or 12 Skirt, Ladies 14 top, dress Medium shirt, 32-34 waist Ladies 14, also Ladies Large 44 Jacket, 36" waist, 30" length Ladies 14 (tight) or 16, Ladies Large Large Shirts, 36" waist, 30" length Ladies 20 top, 20 or 18T dress, XL, 18W Large Shirts, 37" waist, 30" length Ladies 18T, L, 18W XL Shirts, 44" waist, 30" length Ladies 24W Size Conversions, Shoes Men's Sizes Women's Sizes 8W - 8.5M 9W - 10N 9.5 10W-11 9M 10W-11W ? 10-11 10 11W 10.5 EE 12 W-12 WW 11D 12W-13 Size Conversions, Skirts and Pants Size Measurements Size Measurements: Skirts/Pants Sizes Waist Hips Size Bust Small 28 34 8 35.25-36 26.24-27 36.75-37.50 Small 30 36 10 36.25-37 27.25-28 37.75-38.5 Medium 32 38 12 37.25-38.5 28.25-29.5 38.75-40 Medium 34 40 14 38.75-40 29.75-31 40.25-41.5 Large 36 42 16 40.25-4.5 31.25-32.5 41.75-43 Large 38 44 18 41.75-43.5 32.75-34.5 43.25-45 X Large 40 45.75 X Large 42 47.25 X Large 44 48.75 2XL 46 50.25 2XL 48 51.75 3XL 50 53.25 3XL 52 54.75 63 Waist Hips BORN TO SHOP We all love to shop, but as we all know , from personal experience, some are…er…friendlier than others. Here’s a few of the better ones, as recommended by you. This is my own personal recommendation. The girls the Notting Hill branch were superb. They couldn’t be friendlier, more welcoming, and professional too. They have a fantastic range of wigs of all lengths , colours and prices , and I can not recommend this branch of stores enough Open till 6, by appointment – latest 5 o’clock http://www.trendco.co.uk/default.aspx 1) The Casket store: http://www.casketfurniture.com/caskets_coffins.php A unique store offering casket shaped furniture for the gothic’s 2) The Baroness: Ok rubber and latex fetish store I have seen better and more but the craftsman-ship looks good and styles are their own http://www.baroness.com/RubberClothes.htm 3) JT's Stockroom offers a wide range of fetish things from bondage beds to fetish toys, not a gigantic selection but enough to satisfy the novice and beginner. http://www.stockroom.com/search/search.aspx?i=20&search=furniture 4) Lydia’s offers a ok selection of transgender and cross-dressing items again not a wide selection but a ok one for the beginner and part time. http://lydiastv.com/osb/showitem.cfm/Category/12 5)Corset Connection: Offers a very wide selection for all types of corsets everything from waist training to under-bust and to men to woman training corsets, and for those who never have laced their own corsets they offer a online training film for corset lacing A+. http://www.corsetconnection.com/Images/Vintage%20Glam/v1117.jpg 6) Xtrax, I love this store humungus selection for the naughty little Goth Girls and boys a wide wide selection for everything A+. http://www.x-tra-x.de/english/bilder/heads-os/angebot-1.jpg 7) Extreme Restraint is a awesome store I cant wait to order from them they have everything and anything from sex machines to the simplest anal plug. http://www.extremerestraints.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/ec715%20lg.jpg 64 Born to SHOP “ Hi Mandy, I have a review for you, Wigsrus ltd in Southport. Recently been there for a new style they are great. Hugs Julie Hi Ladies, After asking around for some advice on wigs I plucked up the courage to go and try a new style and I decided to have it fitted. I took the advise of an Angel and looked up www.wigsrusltd.com at Southport. This meant going out en femme for the first time and having a stranger see me as Julie. I made an appointment with Jennie and ventured out into the world as Julie. Jennie is a fantastic understanding lady; she puts you at ease straight away. All appointments are one to one and you can try as many styles on as you like. Jennie will give you advise on styles and colour. After you have chosen your new hair, Jennie will do the final styling and trim if required. The service was excellent and Jennie was wonderful, highly recommended. I felt so good and confident With my new style I had a walk around Southport, then decided to drive over to the Trafford centre and had a walk around the shops not bad for my first day out.“ Hugs Julie “ www.frillys.co.uk is a friendly dressing service in Droylsden a town about 4miles from the centre and gay village in Manchester. The owner is called Julie and she now offers self catering accommodation above her shop. HOTELS- I use Travelodge and the special offers of £10 & £26 a night per room are great value. I have never had any problems at these hotels. The only problem I have had at an hotel was at a gay hotel in Torquay where I got a really frosty welcome to say the least. MAKEUP- I don't use Dermablend because it is expensive and difficult to apply so I use a Boots No17 cover stick or a Rimmel cover stick both are on sale at about £2.50. “ Raquel Hi Mandy! I order make-up from http://www.blushedcosmetics.co.uk/ . They are very reliable and discreet with their deliveries even to Holland. And you know the all in price straight away, no need to email asking for price of postage. And they have a 50p and GBP1.00 corner! Kirsty Contact us on: Tel: +44 1376 322209 or Mobile: +44 7887 723239 Email your general enquiries to: [email protected] Email your website enquiries to: [email protected] 65 Here at the Amazing Costume Company we stock over 3000 costumes for hire and sell a wide variety of fancy dress and theatrical accessories. Whatever you need to make your party a success - you will find it here! We are a business that has built a strong reputation based on efficiency, professionalism and style. We provide a one-stop resource for all your requirements so that organising parties and events need not be stressful or time-consuming. Where appropriate, all our costumes come with accessories to help you complete the character such as wigs, boots, hats, jewellery and weapons which is all within the price quoted. To the left are some of the things we have available, there are far too many to list so if you don’t see what your looking for. or wish to hire, please contact us on 020 8859 7747 or visit our shop in Sidcup. As well as our diverse selection of costumes we have to offer we are also well known for our genuine 2nd World War uniforms as well as our superb Medieval costumes, perfect for weddings, banquets & functions. Proprietor Mr J Griffin Amazing Costume Company 745 Sidcup Road New Eltham London SE9 3SA Tel: 020 8859 7747 email:[email protected] Web site: www.amazingcostume.co.uk 66 “And Now, The end is near…..” So, there ya go then Guys and Dolls, Issue 10 hits the shelves (I wish!!!), wish!!!), so what now? Well, first of all may I take this aree opportunity to thank all of our talented writers, many of whom ar writing for the first time. time. It’s girls like you that are making this magazine a success, so keep it coming girls!! One thing does puzzle (and sadden) me though is the lack of writers from Australasia, Australasia, we have many British and US writers, but when I have approached girls from Australia & New Zealand, Zealand, many have promised, but none have delivered. Perhaps we can remedy that next month, as it seems a great shame that an entire continent is missing out on the fun! Now then, as many of you have seen, Lilboutique 2 is taking off, with many new members and lots of new pics, not just of myself, but of you girls too. All the past magazines are there too, and because LB1 is now full, rather than restricting you to only a few pics each, just open open a new folder on LB2 and add them there, OK?! The calendar is going well, 4 months months done done , 8 to go, if any of you have a specific idea for any particular month, then give me a shout and I’ I’ll see what I can do, I will be taking orders as of the end 67 of this month, but you can put your name down for one now if you like. like. All proceeds from the sale of these these calendars will be ploughed back into the sites and magazine, so, support YOUR magazine!! Talking of raising funds, I will be doing my damnedest to keep Narcisse a FREE magazine, but because we need to move to bigger premises (a (a web site eventually) and hoping to use better software, software, I need to ask you for your help. If any of you would like to make a contribution to the upkeep of the magazine, please send them to the Bank details below. The quicker we raise the cash , the sooner we can get Narcisse up there with the the best!!! We have the talent, lets use it!!! Acc No:No:Sort Code:Code:- 00373096 09 01 27 (This is an Abbey National Building Society Account) As soon as we start getting contributions coming in I’ I’ll start a special section to the site site and magazine to thank thank you, with a “Contributor of the month” month” becoming covercover-girl to the site for a week. Sorry to have to ask, but I’m a poor artist, not Da Vinci, or else I’ I’d pay for it all myself! myself!!! Right , that’ that’s it then then gang, hope you’ you’ve enjoyed it, and if not… not….wr .write! ite!! e!! NEXT MONTH is a Halloween special, special, so get you spellspellbook out and get writing. Many hugs Mandy xxxxxxxxx 68 Halloween Special!! 69 N A R C I S S E ISSUE 11 OCT 2006