Sunday Times

Transcription

Sunday Times

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Sunday Times
Lifestyle Magazine
March 27 2016
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MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 3
{ LS }
CONTENTS
5
6
NOT TODAY, SIR
Ndumiso ponders
chickenless chicken joints
8
WEEDING OUT HOPE
Niren Tolsi reports on the
destruction of Pondoland’s
economic lifeblood
GENRE BENDER
Meshell Ndegeocello will
funk up Cape Town,
writes Percy Mabandu
13
14
18
32
44
46
58
54
PIMPLE POP
Shanthini Naidoo
on the weird world
of extraction videos
SOUTHERN STYLE
The best local looks
from the MercedesBenz Fashion Week
GREEN SLEEVES
We meet botanicals guru
Sara Trickett
SHINING LIGHTS
The Nando’s Hot Young
Designer contenders
INTO THE
MYSTIQUE
Michele Magwood
talks to Yann Martel
LETTERS
I just have to get it out there how much I love
Ndumiso Ngcobo’s column. It’s the first article I
read, and when he’s away I really feel the sun
dip in my life. Thanks Ndumiso, for putting a
smile on my dial every week. — Jenny de Lange
ISLE OF RIGHT
Extreme luxury at the
revamped Le Touessrok
COCOA NUTS
Your guide to Easter
chocolate tricks
61
A ONE-TRICK
CIRCUS
Rebecca Davis thinks
Parliament TV could be funnier
Write to: [email protected]
NATIONAL TREASURE
I f***ing LOVE Ndumiso Ngcobo. That is all.
— Heather Costaras
LOOK AND LISTEN
Oliver Roberts on naked
girls reading
Thank you for the wonderful Sunday read,
Ndumiso. I see myself in your article on
homebound husbands, “How I morphed into
my mother” (March 20). Except all my husband
has to do all day is drop our child at school and
leave all the lights on — to be switched off at
5.30 when we come home. We find him chilled,
with his glass of whiskey and his laptop, while
cooking. God bless him. — Sefo Mnguni
LIFESTYLE ACTING EDITOR: Sue de Groot | FOOD EDITOR: Hilary Biller | DESIGNERS: Keith Tamkei,
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PROOFREADER: Helen Smith | MOTORING: Thomas Falkiner | BOOKS: Jennifer Platt, Michele
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MARCH 27 2016
M
Y midgets were recently invited to a birthday
party at Papachinos in
Fourways.
Readers who have yet to lose
their minds and their contraceptives might not know what Papachinos is.
It is a restaurant chain whose
major selling point is that its outlets
are extremely child-friendly, complete with child minders who take
over dealing with your brats while
you enjoy a decent meal. This is a
much bigger deal for parents than
non-parents can imagine.
Anyway, during this party the
host calls our waiter over to give
him the kids’ drinks order which
(surprise, surprise) included about
five Cream Sodas. “I’m sorry sir, but
we’re out of Cream Soda.” The wait-
It’s like arriving
in Durban and
discovering it’s fresh
out of beach
er was clearly an entertaining chap,
with a bright future as a comedian,
so we all burst out laughing. Because everyone knows you can’t
have a kids’ party without Cream
Soda, right?
Wrong. He wasn’t joking. So now
we burst out laughing again — at
the absurdity of a kiddies’ restaurant that has no Cream Soda.
But I have experienced even
PAGE 5
{ HUMOUR }
worse absurdities.
To paraphrase Ashleigh Brilliant,
I always try to take it one day at a
time. But a few months ago, several
days decided to attack me all at
once — such that I even forgot to
eat all day.
Just when my tummy was starting to digest my pancreas, I saw a
sign that made my eyes light up
with all the glee of an MP receiving
an e-mail from a Gupta.
It was a red-and-white sign bearing the face of a bearded Colonel,
and the beautiful words: “KFC
Drive Thru”.
“Welcome to KFC, sir! How may I
help you?” said the chirpy girl at
the window.
“Ah yes. May I please have a
Streetwise 2 and a Fanta Orange.”
“I’m sorry sir, we’re currently out
of chicken but you can order one of
our Zinger burgers . . .”
She said this matter-of-factly.
Without the slightest acknowledgement of the ludicrousness of her
declaration.
Whoa, whoa! Time out. Let’s go
back 1.3 seconds — to the part
where you’re telling me you’re out
of something. You’re out of WHAT?
Because sometimes I fancy myself
as Trevor Noah (without The Daily
Show or eight zeros in my bank account) I looked at her and said: “In
that case, please remove the ‘C’ in
‘KFC’.”
She didn’t get it. Instead, she
waited impatiently for my chickenless order or for me to move along
so that she could tell the next cus-
NDUMISO
NGCOBO
Sorry, we
have no
logic in
stock
tomer that this Kentucky Fried
Chicken was ready to serve customers who didn’t want chicken.
It’s not that I have it in for KFC.
I’ve arrived at a McDonald’s only to
be told that they’re out of burger
buns. The experience was a bit like
arriving in Durban and discovering
that Durban was fresh out of
beach.
Look, I’ll be the first to tell you
that there were valid reasons for the
KFC and McDonald’s being out of
chicken and buns respectively. The
part I don’t get is staying open for
business despite the glaring existential problem.
Granted, these franchises sell
more than just chicken and burgers. But to use that as an excuse is
like making an episode of Seinfeld
even though Jerry Seinfeld was sick
on the day of shooting, on the rationale that people don’t watch the
show just for Jerry but for George,
Kramer and Elaine too.
I believe this was the logic employed when the producers of Two
and a Half Men decided to continue
with the show after Charlie Sheen
left. The Charlie-less Two and a half
Men was like The Commodores
without Lionel Richie; spectacularly pointless.
And there are so many of these
situations. I’ve arrived at the Engen
around the corner from my house
and found the place operational except for one small snag: being out
of fuel. I’ve even been to a doctor’s
rooms which were open despite the
fact that the doctor was not present.
The ladies at reception were telling
everyone that he was not coming
back that day.
I can’t think of any credible reason why the practice was open. Perhaps the doctor’s assistants were
horsing around and giving each
other anaesthetics for recreational
purposes.
But then again, I don’t remember
ever finding a Home Affairs office
closed because the computers were
offline. Ditto the banks. And during
last year’s load-shedding, Mrs N,
the midgets and I once entered a
restaurant in Port Elizabeth. The
waitress took our drinks order, but
when we started to order food she
told us: “Sorry, the kitchen is closed
due to the load-shedding.”
I often used to imagine former
Eskom CEO Tshediso Matona arriving home from the office to a dark
house after a long day of doing everything but providing electricity.
And as he sits there by the flickering light of a candle, eating a cold
salad, his kids ask: “So Daddy, what
did you do at work today?”
Speaking of Matona, I understand that he’s now employed at
the National Planning Commission
based on his excellent track record
of planning at Eskom. I wonder
how much planning goes on there
Everyone knows you
can’t have a kiddies’
party without Cream
Soda, right? Wrong!
in any case. I haven’t seen much
evidence of it. Truth be told, my
lazy brain has also wondered aloud
why the government continues operating without much evidence of
governance.
It’s almost as pointless as being a
member of Zuma’s cabinet without
being a friend of the Guptas. LS
E-mail [email protected]
On Twitter @NdumisoNgcobo
PAGE 6
MARCH 27 2016
{ JAZZ }
T
THE PICK OF THE CTIJF
TUMI MOGOROSI AND
PROJECT ELO
The South African drummer with a
burgeoning following leads an
innovative band
AMADOU & MARIAM
Friday, 9pm. The globe-trotting
Malian duo are revered giants of
desert blues
MESHELL NDEGEOCELLO
Saturday, 8pm. The bassist and
songwriter tops the bill with her
experimental funk
MARK TURNER QUARTET
Saturday, 6.45pm. The New York
Times calls saxman Turner “the
best jazz player you’ve never
heard”
GALLO/GETTY IMAGES
HE Cape Town International Jazz Festival is almost sold out. Meshell
Ndegeocello, the enigmatic bass player often
credited with igniting the neo-soul
movement, is part of the reason.
Last month, while confetti clouded shopping malls and images of
heart-shaped chocolates clotted social media, Ndegeocello was instigating race-love polemics on Instagram. She posted the February cover of Ebony Magazine with its
charged cover story: “Holding On
To Black Love”. The piece celebrated intra-black love and marriage,
during black history month, in the
age of Black Lives Matter.
Ndegeocello accompanied her
post with the words: “Curious
about this issue. I love someone
outside my race. But the more I
read James Baldwin, the more I see
and I learn and I get free.” The Baldwin line betrayed her nuanced position on the issue. The late African
American gay activist said: “Who
people love, who people marry is
their business. We should be strong
enough to let people live.”
Ndegeocello’s fluid sexuality is
still a large part of her public persona, at age 47. She finds this
frivolous, because she feels gender
identity is inconsequential to her
creative vision. The funk-heavy
bass player once told a reporter,
“I’m sexually functional with both
genders. I just choose to be with
this particular one now. Who
knows what the future holds?”
There’s a picture of her seated on
a stair looking as cute as a teenage
girl in love. She wears a cream,
shaggy dress with spaghetti shoulder straps and brown leather boots.
The image is thick with sweet
mush. It’s the opposite of her familiar butch look — shaven head
with denims and T-shirt. Its happy
touch is also in contrast to the sombre tones she explored at the time
in her album, Bitter.
It was a dark project, with a broken heart as its muse. You can’t appreciate what’s good without experiencing the bitter, Ndegeocello
TETE MBAMBISA’S BIG SOUND
Saturday 6pm. The veteran pianist
from East London has finally
gained the spotlight, after decades
of quiet brilliance
A SOVEREIGN SOUL
Meshell Ndegeocello, at Cape Town’s annual jazz explosion
this week, has long walked the line between the sexy and the
sacred. Percy Mabandu considers her enduring mystique
said about her motivation to make
it. “Think of the Buddhist philosophy of 10 000 joys and 10 000 sorrows. So I decided to acknowledge
the pain, for once, that’s involved
with being in love.”
Ndegeocello describes her creative process as 70% feeling and
30% execution. The emotional
foundation permeates everything
about her.
In 1978, she had just turned 15,
with a budding fascination with
music. Prince was blowing up with
his debut single, Soft and Wet.
cameo appearance on Bitter. Ndegeocello has covered almost all of
Prince’s hits on her tours.
It’s a connection that perhaps led
to her 2002 record, Cookie: The Anthropological Mixtape — described
as “the record Prince keeps trying
to make”, by the Rolling Stone’s Arion Berger.
It was an almost blasphemous
statement — because it pits the
master and his student against each
other. Only Cookie was a rigorously
politicised record, featuring vocal
samples of Gil Scott-Heron and An-
To Ndegeocello, who was going
through puberty, “discovering this
beautiful man who had so much
coming out of him — lyrically,
melodically, rhythmically — was
life changing”. She bought the
record. The cover read: “All instruments played by Prince.”
“I was hooked,” she said. “This
one guy was let loose in the studio?
At that moment, I knew right then
that I wanted to make records.”
Ndegeocello’s story has been
linked to Prince ever since; for better or worse. He made a refreshing
gela Davis, but also as “sensual as a
new lover”.
This tension is the source of Ndegeocello’s enduring mystique. She
manages a studied balance between
the sexy and the sacred. She sings
an ode to Mary Magdalene, God Shiva and a lamentation for a suicidal
Leviticus: Faggot on the same
record.
She pushed the envelope hard by
calling her 2009 record Devil’s Halo.
She explained her thinking in an
interview: “The devil has always
been one of the most intriguing
characters — a former angel who
suffered from a broken heart, and
eventually jealousy, more than anything else. It’s one of those, ‘I hurt,
so I’m going to make everyone else
feel what I feel.’ That’s pretty human. I really relate to that.”
In 2012, Ndegeocello released her
10th studio alum — an ode to her
idol, Nina Simone. It was titled Pour
une Âme Souveraine, “for a
sovereign soul”.
That could easily be a description
of Ndegeocello herself. LS
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PAGE 8
HE mountains meet
the Indian Ocean on
the Wild Coast. At Ebulawu, south of Port St
Johns,
green-topped
peaks undulate up towards sheer
drops into the blue maelstrom below, where waves crash against
cliffs of white, grey and red.
Vines hang heavy on centuriesold trees. The vegetation’s lush hypnotism is a reminder that this is
psychotropic territory in every
sense. The descent into the ravines
takes us down paths darkened by
impenetrable tree canopies.
Forests give way to clearings,
which give way to squares of crops
— and back again. Navigating down
the steep inclines, one is soon walking in fields of marijuana, where
stalks are star-spangled with leaves
and crystalline flowering buds.
Some plants are shoulder high, others are stunted by drought.
Ebulawu is one of the heartlands
of Pondoland marijuana. These are
fields of green.
The strains of Cannabis sativa
cultivated at Ebulawu have been famous for generations. Locals,
tourists, visiting fishermen and
dealers have been buying, smoking
and selling the marijuana for
decades. Some locals barter their
crops for anything from food to appliances. Customers come from as
far away as Pretoria and Cape Town
to buy bulk for resale.
“My grandfather planted before
me, I remember he planted three or
four mountains away from here,”
says Michael*, 62, pointing northward. “My father didn’t plant at all.
I didn’t either, until I came back
from the mines in 1989.”
Michael had been working as a
miner in Welkom when he was re-
T
MARCH 27 2016
{ FEATURE }
trenched. He says one day his benefit pay-outs stopped — with no
explanation. To supplement an income from catching and selling fish
to tourists — and to support his
nine children — Michael began
growing marijuana.
Employment in the area is limited to cleaning the cottages that
white tourists and anglers have
built on land obtained on longlease from local chiefs, sometimes
in exchange for alcohol and a feast
for the village. Or selling the abundant harvest of fish, mussels and
shellfish to tourists — the going
rate for a whole steenbras the
length of one’s forearm, says
Michael, is about R50.
There are no other jobs in this
lush paradise. Men will go to the
mines if they can, committing
themselves to the penury of hard
migrant labour, only seeing their
families two or three times a year.
Women will tend the fields growing
mealies, spinach, cabbage and vegetables for subsistence. Money for
clothes, school uniforms and books
or cellphone airtime comes from
social grants, seafood sales — and
marijuana.
Michael, who doesn’t smoke the
plant, is cultivating two fields of
cannabis and reaps about 40 to 50
bin-bags per field. He measures the
bulk sales in litres: at the beginning
of the harvest season in February
every year, he sells five litres for
R1 000; by the end of the season in
May, he is selling 20 litres for the
same price. Depending on the yield,
and its quality, he can add between
R40 000 and R60 000 to the annual
household income.
During harvest season, he employs young men from the area to
assist him and pays them R600 per
KILLING
A LIVING
In the mountains of Pondoland in the Eastern Cape,
‘intsangu’ is green gold: the key to the rural poor’s economic
survival. Why then, despite global progress towards
decriminalising cannabis, are police spraying crops with
poison from helicopters? Niren Tolsi investigates
Photographs: Umzimvubu Farmers Support Network
five-hour shift. This is manna in a
moribund rural economy where
women cleaning holiday cottages
are lucky to earn R70 per day.
“There are three villages that are
planting here,” Michael says. Fields
of about half-a-hectare form a
patchwork on the slopes of a valley,
at the bottom of which streams
wind their way towards the northern Hluleka estuary.
The marijuana fields, a discernibly darker green than maize
fields when seen from a distance,
are cultivated further away from
roads, homesteads and legal crops,
to avoid detection and persecution
by the authorities.
But the police do know of this
community’s historical association
with cannabis. Every so often, especially at harvest time, they apparently come breaking down
doors, smacking people about;
making arrests or taking bribes. In
the last decade, police helicopters
have sprayed herbicide in an effort
to curb marijuana output.
“I had hoped that intsangu
would make me the Sol Kerzner of
this area,” Michael’s wife, Thabiso*
says with dark humour. “But whatever they spray is unsellable — so
you make nothing when the helicopters come.”
The aerial spraying is indiscriminate: marijuana plants, subsistence crops, water sources, and
even people have been doused by
the poison.
“I remember the day in 2015
when they sprayed me and my cattle, on bare land which I was
ploughing. On brown land, with no
crops,” said Thembinkosi*, 68, a local farmer with eight children and
25 grandchildren.
“It was an overcast day and they
had come to spray my crops at
about seven that morning. It rained
at about 10am, and then they came
back about an hour after that . . .
They saw me in the field and flew
over me and didn’t spray. They
went off about a kilometre away
and they turned around and came
back, even lower, but they didn’t
spray,” he said.
“They came back a third time,
much lower, and then they started
MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 9
{ FEATURE }
GREEN ECONOMY: A family processing cannabis plants near Port St Johns
HINTERLAND: A view of the hills
overlooking the Umzimvubu River
in Pondoland
spraying us. My oxen scattered and I
just put my hands up in the air, as if to
say that I give up. Then I started pointing to my stomach to tell them ‘Sorry,
but I am hungry. I must grow what I
can to feed myself.’
“It felt as if they were bullying me.
They had come earlier and sprayed my
crops, but this time, it felt like they
were after me,” said Thembinkosi bitterly. He says the police helicopters
have been coming to the area every
other year — harming his ability to
support his extended family, very few
of whom are working. Thembinkosi estimates he makes around R30 000 per
harvest. In years when his cannabis
crop is sprayed, “we live off the earth
and the sea, there is very little we can
buy . . . We do this for our children”.
His wife, Ntombi* chips in: “When
they spray us and we are desperate for
money we have to go to the loan sharks
to borrow cash. We never know how
we will pay them back, but people are
hungry so what can we do?”
According to Ntombi, the local micro-lenders charge 30% interest. She
adds that with the spraying and the
drought, 2015 was a lean year: she had
to borrow R1 500 in December, to ensure the grandchildren had a reasonably festive Christmas. Speaking in
January, Ntombi had yet to pay back
the money, and was already worried
about buying school clothes and books
for the new year.
The police, meanwhile, have been
enjoying what appears to be an annual
month-long jaunt, staying in the holiday town of Port St Johns, and flying
out to spray crops across a swathe of
land that extends from Mpande and
Ebulawu near the coast all the way
inland to areas like Emanaleni, southeast of Lusikisiki, about 100km away.
Port St Johns locals have described
the police expeditions as “a bit of a holiday
by the beach”.
“They stay at an exclusive lodge on the
Mzimvubu River, fly out early in the morning for the spraying and are done by midday.
You see them often at the pubs and bars.
This is not hard work,” said the proprietor of
a local establishment, who did not want to
be named.
This year there has — so far — been no
spraying in the Eastern Cape. Lawyers acting
for concerned farming and community organisations in the area wrote to the police
and, citing environmental and health concerns, asked that they desist.
In the event that the police decide to
continue, the lawyers asked for an undertaking that communities be forewarned as
to when the spraying will occur and in
which areas. There have been several complaints about the police spraying without
adhering to the herbicide’s instructions,
which include clearly demarcating the area
intending for spraying.
Responding by letter on March 1 this year,
the police said they would not be “derailed”
from their mission unless “interdicted by
court or advised not to proceed by the government of the Republic of South Africa,
acting on advice of toxicologists employed
to look at the interests of the state”. In the
absence of an interdict, “the SAPS will continue with the aerial spraying programme to
eradicate illicit cannabis crops”.
The police also refused to inform communities of when they intended to spray
areas — pointing out that this would mean
“pre-warn[ing] offenders”.
While Thembinkosi said he felt no sideeffects after being directly sprayed, there is
growing concern about the health effects of
the herbicide used: the best-selling Monsanto weed-killer Roundup, whose active
ingredient is glyphosate.
While police have contended that the
herbicide is not toxic, the World Health Organisation last year released findings that
glyphosate is “probably carcinogenic to humans”. Used by many governments and municipalities to curb weeds, it is banned in
countries like the Netherlands and from use
in public spaces in Chicago and Paris. The
European Union will soon vote on whether
it should be banned. Its detractors, and
many researchers, attribute birth defects,
‘I had hoped that
intsangu would make
me the Sol Kerzner of
this area’
kidney diseases and infertility to its presence in drinking water.
Following the release of the WHO report
last year, the Colombian government ended
its two-decade long programme to curb cocaine production by spraying coca crops,
due to concerns about cancer. At the programme’s height in 2006, over 164 000ha of
coca were sprayed annually, according to
the New York Times.
In the communities that LS visited, several people blamed the indiscriminate
spraying of water sources that provide
drinking and irrigation water for miscar-
riages amongst their livestock, especially
cows and goats.
In the hippie zones of Port St Johns,
“crusties” and “greenies” whisper of the
spraying being part of a grander Monsanto
plot to eradicate any “heirloom maize” left
in the area to clear the way for more genetically modified maize and a limitation of
biodiversity. Already, much of the traditional mealie cultivation in the area has been
replaced by Monsanto maize, which is resistant to Roundup, but creates a seed dependency on Monsanto — which posted
$16-billion (about R245-billion) in global
revenue in 2014.
T
HE visual similarities between
clumps of hashish and goat poo
become obvious when the wind
picks up and scatters loose bits of
the former amongst a trail of brown, round
droppings in the shade of a large tree.
Sifting through the sand and pellets is a
hazardous business — and will lend new
meaning to any question of whether the
“shit” one is smoking is any good.
But it’s break-time on a long trek that will
soon include crossing the Mzimvubu River
— not as daunting as in times of abundant
rainfall — and trudging a quarter-way up a
mountain.
We are in search of a cannabis-growing
village there, and have been walking
through the northernmost edge of the
Emalaleni area. The roads turned into footpaths a few kilometres back and the 4X4 has
long since been abandoned.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 11
WANTED WEED: A healthy cannabis plant, graced by a mantis, left, and a sangoma handling the dried product
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MARCH 27 2016
The land is desiccated by the
drought. Along our hour-long walk
through areas mainly populated by
Kei apple and other thorn trees, only one farmer was brave enough to
attempt to grow maize.
The rest have been growing marijuana, but the plants look stunted
and parched. Some are flowering
earlier than they should — in midDecember — due to drought-induced trauma. Many fields that
have been planted in previous
years, and have signs of water piped
from the river, are lying fallow.
The cannabis land races (heirloom strains) in the region are ideal
for making essential oils, says Philasande Mahlakata, a farmer and
herbalist from Port St Johns.
“They have lower THC content,
so you may not get that stoned, but
they do seem to have the cannabinoids that are used in treating diseases like cancer.”
Mahlakata is attempting to set
up a business to produce essential
oils based on traditional knowledge
of plants that have been used by
Amampondo for centuries.
She says marijuana oil, with its
‘We are a proud
people. We do not
appreciate being
treated like
stupids’
palliative effects for cancer patients, is vital, not just for medical
treatment, but for job creation in a
desperately poor region.
“This is an untapped natural resource. Instead of men going off to
the mines, they could be working
here, growing their ‘weed’ for essential oil production,” she says.
This is a view shared by Inkatha
Freedom Party chief whip Narend
Singh. He sits on parliament’s
health research group, and has
been driving the Medical Innovation Bill in parliament.
The bill was initially tabled by
Singh’s former colleague, Mario
Ambrosini, who died of cancer in
2014. It calls for amendments to
current legislation that will “allow
for the possession and use of
cannabis for experimentation and
research purposes”, Singh says.
“We don’t have any concrete figures, just anecdotal evidence, but
there has certainly been an increase
in the use of cannabis oil for the
PAGE 11
{ FEATURE }
palliative treatment of cancer — illegally of course,” says Singh.
“These people should not be persecuted and cannabis is a resource
that we should be tapping into to
help those who are sick.”
Peter*, an artist and photographer, was diagnosed with liver cancer over four years ago. Initially on
chemotherapy and radiotherapy —
both of which have corrosive sideeffects — he has started using
cannabis oil alongside his medical
treatments. It has helped to relieve
pain, spur his appetite and treat the
nausea caused by regular medication. “I’ve also been experimenting
with using it to target specific cancerous areas.”
Since 1996, 23 states in the US
have legalised the medical use of
marijuana — for anything from insomnia to glaucoma and asthma —
with varying restrictions on usable
amounts and the number of plants
one is allowed to have.
Last year, Colorado’s tourism office reported that marijuana’s legal
status in the state influenced the
holiday decisions of 49% of the
state’s tourism visitors — who
numbered a record 71.3 million in
2014, spending $18.6-billion.
Progressive legislative approaches to marijuana are being adopted
around the world — from
Uruguay’s far-reaching reform to
Barcelona, where private, members-only cannabis clubs have created a new tourism culture.
The city is apparently ready to
supplant Amsterdam as Europe’s
cannabis capital.
The UN General Assembly Special Session on Drugs, scheduled for
2019, has been brought forward to
next month following a request by
the governments of Colombia,
Guatemala and Mexico. These
countries appear intent on shifting
global drug policy away from the
“war on drugs” approach to a more
progressive, holistic one.
With medical and tourism benefits yet to be explored in South
Africa — and shifting attitudes to
“softer” drugs around the globe —
Ricky Stone, the attorney representing the concerned communities around Port St Johns, has just
one question for the government
and the police: why?
“Why are police harassing and
intimidating communities that are
poor, because of marijuana? Why
are they depriving poverty-stricken
communities of a chance to better
their lives, and afford themselves
their own dignity? Why are we not
having a progressive debate about
the benefits of marijuana for both
ROUNDUP RAVAGE: Maize and
other subsistence crops have
been destroyed along with
cannabis fields. Above, Samples
of medical marijuana are
displayed in Sacramento,
California.
medical and tourism?”
These questions become more
acute as we trudge up the mountain
toward a village near the summit.
The drought has made this world
drier than usual. Dust clings to the
inside of the throat.
Aside from a few blocks of dark
green plants growing next to the
river beds, there is little farming
about. A spring previously used by
the community has dwindled to a
mere seep, congested with goat
tracks and animal faeces. Children
drink straight from the river.
The community here live on
what they grow: from the cabbage
to the marijuana that they sell. The
options are few.
“We have very little that grows
here, and we don’t have the materials to make craft and sell them:
the earth here is not good for clay
for pottery and we don’t have the
grass for weaving baskets,” says
Agnes*, a feisty old lady putting her
grandkids through school while her
offspring seek urban jobs.
“We have nothing here,” she
says, “and we are nothing too. We
have asked the [Lusikisiki] municipality for roads, so that we can be
connected to the towns and the
clinics, but they have not responded to us at all. It is only when the
helicopters come that it seems people remember us — but they are
only remembering to kill us.”
T
HE helicopter has an infamous place in Pondo
mythology. In 1960, when
Pondoland revolted in the
culmination of a decade-long resistance to rural policies and “betterment” programmes, their collabo-
rator king, Botha Sigcau, was said to
have been taken up in a helicopter
— the first time one was seen in the
region, some say. From the air, he
apparently fired the first bullet of
the Ngquza Hill massacre that
claimed 11 lives. Several more men
were later hanged in Pretoria.
In Marikana, on August 16 2012,
helicopters circled above the scene
of the massacre in which 34 striking
miners were killed — most of them
from Pondoland.
“We are a proud people,” says
Lungisile*, a headman in the
Emalaleni area. “We do not appreciate being treated like stupids. Just
because we are poor and uneducated does not mean we are nothing. We have rights.
“People are getting angry here.
Government sends the helicopter
to starve us, to kill us, but it won’t
send the emergency helicopter
when one of us is sick — that is only
for the white person. People are angry here. How long they will contain themselves, I cannot guarantee.” LS
* Not their real names
Niren Tolsi is a journalist who
has spent over three years investigating the Marikana massacre
with photographer Paul Botes.
Their books will be published later
this year.
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MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 13
{ IS IT GOOD? }
Zit back and enjoy
Pimple extraction videos are now a thing. Why are so many of us thrilled by the
spectacle of pustules being popped? Shanthini Naidoo tries to understand
O
DD obsessions abound
on the internet, but this
might be one of the
oddest. Millions of your
fellow humans love nothing better
than to watch streams of creamy,
waxy sebum worming out of someone else’s skin.
To many, this sounds disgusting,
but for “popaholics” around
the world, this stuff is addictive. As are videos
of
boxes
being
opened and glue being peeled off vinyl
records.
What is this
about? Intellectual
decay, boredom, or
just ancient fetishes
being fed?
Those who watch Californian dermatologist Dr Sandra Lee
(pictured) popping pimples on the
web say the extractions leave them
feeling satisfied and relaxed. Some
even find the videos of oozing pustules sedative.
Lee has become a social media
hit in the last two years, gathering
350 000 followers on YouTube.
It started with short videos on
Instagram of her popping zits,
blackheads and cysts, then graduated to longer pieces on YouTube
which have collectively been
viewed 350 million times.
One video, which has racked up
seven million views alone, is a
cringeworthy but fascinating
clip of blackheads being
removed from the large
nose of an elderly patient nicknamed Mr
Wilson for his resemblance to the character from the Dennis
the Menace cartoon.
Rivulets of oily matter pour from his
clogged pores — and then
out of Lee’s tiny metal loop,
called an extractor.
It is hard to look away, even
while your stomach churns.
A survey of popaholics on Reddit
gave some insight into why people
subject themselves to this. “Life is
hard, so hard. The only thing that
makes me feel OK, even for a short
period of time, are the videos,” said
an American mother who works
two jobs.
“I watch them every single night.
It’s my only escape right now. So, if
you can, please thank Dr Sandra for
me, because I would probably be in
a psychiatric hospital if I didn’t
have her videos.”
Others said they found the
videos soothing, mouth-watering,
sleep inducing.
In an interview with New York
magazine, Lee said she thought it
was the surprise factor that kept
people coming back. “It’s like gambling. You never know when you’re
going to hit a big one.”
Lee certainly has created a new
revenue, er, stream, with the ex-
plosive videos. YouTube pays popular posters for garnering views.
And she has created a line of merchandise for fans, not that anyone
buying her stuff should admit to it
in public.
Surprise has a role to play in
YouTube videos made for children,
which are amongst the most
watched on the platform. Children’s
hands playing with playdough. The
money maker is “surprise eggs” or
Kinder eggs, which show adult
hands unwrapping plastic eggs to
reveal a toy inside.
Tens of millions of views equate
to profitable nonsense.
For adults “packaging porn”, or
unboxing, reveals tech gadgets.
Obsessive compulsives love the
Tumblr blog Things Fitting Perfectly Into Other Things, which, as it
says, fits things into other things
that are not necessarily related, like
Oreo biscuits slotting into a cardboard tube, or an oven knob slotting onto a car’s airconditioner dial.
The symmetry is calming.
Obsessive cleaning is a good
search term if you’re into perfection. There are channels dedicated
to before-and-after shots of high
pressure hosing. Driveways and
roofs are the business.
For a psychedelic fix, watch wood
glue spin onto a vinyl record. Then
peel. It. Off.
A new one for lovers of the gross:
tiny cameras inserted into the ear,
to document the removal of impacted earwax.
Hollywood beware. This stuff is
good. Weird, but good. LS
FIVE THINGS TO CATCH
ý E-mail event dates to [email protected].
Joburg Music
Kaya FM Live @ The Bassline
The Bassline, Newtown, April 2
Come and party as Native Rhythms hosts a night of Afro-pop.
Also on stage is an all-star lineup featuring award-winning
acapella group The Soil as the headline act. Sensational jazz
vocalist Jobie Clarke and Neo-Soul singer Tribute “Birdie”
Mboweni join in. R200 www.webtickets.co.za; R220 at the door.
South Africa Socials
The Grand White
Secret venues, April 2
This year’s events will be hosted in Cape Town, Pretoria, Joburg
and Durban. Spend an afternoon and evening with friends and
family — at a secret location — dressed all in white with a
touch of green. Food, music, comedy, and more. Bring your
own picnic basket or buy on site. [email protected].
Cape Town Music
The Big Blues Meets Rock Festival
Hillcrest Quarry, Durbanville, April 9
If you’re a Rocker or a Blues lover, nine bands in a huge
marquee on a big stage with 30 000 watts of sonic power will
blast you away. Dan Patlansky, Blues Broers, Gerald Clark Trio,
Mark Haze, Crimson House, Natasha Meister and more. R220 at
Computicket. Call 021 976 4959, www.bluesmeetsrock.co.za.
Durban Art
‘My Favourite Things’ - Angie Arbuthnot
artSPACE Durban, April 2-28
Arbuthnot has built a series of work that depicts her intuitive,
raw and unapologetic art. Starting with a history of underpainting, haphazardly scraped and splashed, she draws out of
this “pasture”, her cattle, quietly chewing the cud. Call 031 312
0793, artspace-durban.com, facebook.com/artspacedurban.
Cape Town Soiree
Wagner Society
Sea Point, April 3 & 10
The Richard Wagner Society of SA continues its Beethoven
variations with Albie van Schalkwyk on April 3 and François
du Toit on April 10. Both will include one work by a student of
each pianist, in line with the mentorship aims of the society.
Call 082 459 6225. R230-R250, includes buffet and wine.
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PAGE 14
MARCH 27 2016
{ EXPOSURE }
I
T was a Thursday night. I
had two choices: listen to
the state of the nation
address, or watch four
naked girls read passages
from novels. To say it was a
difficult choice would be a gross
exaggeration.
It’s actually called this —
Naked Girls Reading — and it was
started in Chicago in 2009 by
showgirl Michelle L’amour and
Franky Vivid (surely not their real
names). It has now taken place in
more than 25 cities all over the
world, including Cape Town in
October 2015, and, for a brief run
last month, Johannesburg.
It goes like this: accompanied
by cool jazz, four attractive girls
wearing robes appear from behind
faux-velvet curtains, stand in
front of the audience, disrobe,
and, for the longest split second,
stand there naked — completely
naked — then sit down on either
the couch or one of the chairs
either side of the couch, and
begin, one by one, to read.
It’s many a bibliophile’s dream,
I think. Truth is, I have this fading
fantasy involving a naked woman
playing the cello — watching
naked girls read delivers about
85% of its thrill.
And, to my relief, they’re not
reading shit. The theme tonight is
“Love, Lust and Lies”, so they
could easily have read from
EL James or Jackie Collins, which
would have pretty much ruined
everything. Instead, it’s the likes
of Bukowski, Murakami, Kahlo,
Klosterman and Adichie. Best of
all, they finish of with a poem by
Pablo Neruda. If any writer in the
world deserves — no, needs — to
be read by naked girls, it’s
Neruda.
It’s an odd thing, public nudity.
It’s never as shocking or as
awkward as you imagine it’s going
to be. Maybe it’s because we’re all
adults here and it’s nothing we’ve
never seen before. Maybe, too,
there’s something so honest and
real about it that we’re inclined to
find it comforting rather than
unsettling. Nine years ago I
attended a lunch for naturists and
was confronted with a restaurant
full of maybe 50 naked bodies.
What I felt that day is what I feel
again tonight, which is that
nudity, when removed from
If any writer
deserves — needs —
to be read by naked
girls, it’s Neruda
BETWEEN THE COVERS: Alicia
Skead, Lex LaFoy, Hhlubi
Mthimkhulu and Hayleigh Evans
Literarily naked
Stripped-down prose has a new meaning: girls around the world are reading
great books aloud, in their birthday suits. Oliver Roberts saw the Joburg show
sexual context, seems surprisingly
normal and that instead of
emphasising gender, it actually
breaks it down so that what
you’re seeing is not four naked
girls but four human beings.
And there’s this too: I had this
idea that the nakedness would
distract the audience from the
words being read, but in fact the
opposite is true. Sure, there is that
initial oh-my-gosh-they’re-nude
thing but that lasts probably less
than a minute. Once the girls are
reading, the beauty and drama of
the words are what hold your
attention. The naked girls are an
aesthetic enhancement: they are
their own sensual props, lending
the passages rawness and
vulnerability. It’s really quite
lovely.
The girls reading tonight are
Hayleigh Evans, Alicia Skead, Lex
LaFoy and Hhlubi Mthimkhulu.
Some might be performers —
actresses, singers — by trade, but
for all of them bar one it’s the
first time they’ve been naked on
stage. The event will return in
July when, in recognition of
Madiba’s birthday and National
Reading Day, all the books read
will be by local authors.
“It was easier than I thought,”
Evans says about dropping the
robe. “But I didn’t know anyone
in the audience tonight so it was
kind of nice. I think it might be a
little more strange when people I
know come to watch. But it was
incredibly empowering.”
Skead, who also performed at
the Cape Town reading, admits
FLAWLESS
COVERAGE
new
complexion
that those initial naked moments
are still pretty terrifying, but then
the writing comes to the rescue.
“Once you strip everything
down and you have that beauty of
the words, you have listening,”
she says. “Everybody, us, the
audience, is so engaged. We had
people walking out of here telling
us, ‘You make me want to read
again.’ That’s what we want to
achieve.”
For Mthimkhulu (wonderful
husky voice) it felt kind of
revolutionary. “It’s like, ‘Hey y’all
— it’s OK to be yourself.’ It felt
like I was announcing that to the
world, that we’re all born like this
so it’s fine.”
It wouldn’t work with guys,
though, would it? The consensus
seemed to be no, unless they were
reading humour. Naked girls are
an object of sensuality, nearly
divine. Naked dudes are generally
kind of comical. So let’s avoid
that, I think.
“It takes you back to your
childhood, doesn’t it?” Skead says.
“Isn’t it so nice and soothing?
Sometimes I think we forget the
beauty of having someone read to
you. I think it’s one of the most
amazing, romantic things.” LS
• Naked Girls Reading returns
to POP Art Theatre, Joburg,
July 14-17. Go to
popartcentre.co.za or
nakedgirlsreading.com
ý Tell us: which book would
you like to have read to you by
a naked girl, and why?
[email protected]
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& clear
was R1 999
R499
each 110 only
was R3 999
SAVE R5 000
Raw Wood
Glass base
Dining table
R699
R2 999
Was R7 999
each
50% off
SAVE R5 000
ZICO
modern armchair
•luxurious fabric
•stainless steel
copper frame
was R9 999
R4 999
each
Aston
arm chair
•100% Full genuine Leather
•detailed padding & stitching
was R16 999
SAVE R9 000
R7 999
each
SHAKA
wingback
•luxurious natural
animal skin
was R16 999
new arrival
SAVE R9 000
R7 999
each
new arrival
E AST E R S HOW
hurry-show now on!!!
RICHIE
modern couch
•100% fully upholstered
•adjustable headrests
•stainless steel legs
MEZZOS
SAVE R6 000
modular compact corner suite
•100% fully upholstered in
luxurious quality fabric
•chrome legs
R3 999
R7 999
LOFTY
was R19 999
was R9 999
new arrival
SAVE R12 000
5 piece stainless steel bar set
•sleekly designed table &
4 modern high bar stools
•also available in white
100% full aniline A grade Italian leather - best leather money can buy!!!
exclusive to
was R12 999
SAVE R9 000
R3 999
50 on order
includes 8 chairs, table & sideboard
SAVE R18 000
all new & improved AVALON
motani 3 piece 3 action leather lounge suite
R29 999
•100% full aniline a grade Italian leather
was r47 999
adjustable
headrests
new arrival
styled & designed
SAVE R30 000
Capello
MOSCOW
100%
genuine leather
upper
3 piece lounge suite
•100% genuine leather upper
•adjustable headrests & chrome finish
was R44 999
10 piece sophisticated dining room suite
•pure class •includes sideboard with glass
doors & shelves
SAVE R15 000
R29 999
was R59 999
R29 999
limited
stockS
first
come
first
served
new arrival
ZAVIER
100%
genuine leather
upper
large corner suite
•100% genuine leather upper
•includes wooden inlays & daybed
was R59 999
SAVE R17 000
CAPELLO
R42 999
5 piece mirrored inlay bedroom suite
•absolutely stunning
was R44 999
SAVE R20 000
R24 999
ALBERTON BENONI
ALBERTON CITY LAKESIDE MALL
MALL@REDS
CNR. HENDRIK VERWOERD
DRIVE & ROOIHUISKRAAL ROAD,
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& ERNEST OPPENHEIMER AVE
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Stocks are limited and some products may be subject to order lead times
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THE CRESCENT
VALUE CENTRE SPRINGFIELD
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SHOPPING CENTRE
CNR. AIRPORT RD,
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DALPARK, BRAKPAN
FESTIVAL MALL
SANDTON
NORTH CAPE MALL
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10 EASTERN SERVICE ROAD
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(OLD PRETORIA RD) MARLBORO
view our extensive range on www.unitedfurnitureoutlets.co.za
KOLONNADE
RETAIL PARK
RETAIL CROSSING
BEDWORTH CENTRE
WESTGATE
SHOPPING CENTRE
WITBANK
RIVER CRESCENT
SHOPPING CENTRE
Prices valid until 31 March 2016 or while stocks last - Not all advertised lines are available on display in all stores - E&OE
p h a rc y d e a d v
See our 32 great locations below
Vote for
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1 of 10 fragrance
hampers to the value of
each
To enter visit
www.clicks.co.za/fragranceawards
or SMS the following: Clicks Fragrance,
your name and your fragrance
choice to 34508.
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You are invited to our
Canal Walk
Shopping Centre Centre Court
8th, 9th
and 10th of April
9am – 9pm daily
Cast your vote and enjoy
a fragrance workshop
where you can blend
your own fragrance.
Meet our panel of Judges:
Top South African fashion, film &
beauty industry judges each tested
over 30 leading fragrances and whittled
them down to their top 3 per category,
now it‘s up to you to decide!
Judges from left to right:
Paul Sephton - GQ Features Editor
Sibongile Sbosh Mafu - Media personality
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Stefania Morland - Fashion designer
Siv Ngesi - Actor, comedian
and motivational speaker
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fashion
Sunday Times
GET THE LOOK: 90s LIPS
LOCAL LOOKS OFF THE RUNWAY
SKIN SAVIOURS FOR ALL TYPES
“TAMARA CHÉRIE DYSON’S COLLECTION REPRESENTED A
SOPHISTICATED, CONFIDENT AND STYLISH WOMAN. THE
COLOUR PALETTE OF BLUSH PINKS, NOUGAT, OX BLOOD
AND HINTS OF METALLIC WERE A PERFECT COMBINATION
FOR A FRESH TAKE ON WINTER FASHION.”
— Tarryn Oppel, Fashion Director, ELLE Magazine South Africa
an Edgars Account
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GMS0158
PAGE 18
{ FASHION }
THE HOME
GROWN EDIT
Established and emerging designers show off
their latest collections at Mercedes-Benz
Fashion Week Johannesburg 2016
“FOR ME IT HAS BEEN A BEAUTIFUL
EXPERIENCE TO WATCH MARIANNE
FASSLER’S JOURNEY OVER THE PAST 10
YEARS. WHAT STOOD OUT FOR ME IN THIS
COLLECTION IS THE CRAFTSMANSHIP, THE
ATTENTION TO DETAIL AND TEXTURE. SHE
EXPLORES THINGS BRAVELY WITH NO PIECE OF
FABRIC GOING TO WASTE.” — Terry Pheto, actress
PRODUCTION SHARON BECKER PHOTOGRAPHY MERWELENE VAN
DER MERWE DIGITAL ASSISTANT ZELÉ ANGELIDES LIGHTING
ASSISTANT ANTHONY HENRICO HAIR SAADIQUE RYKLIEF MAKEUP
LIZ VAN DER MERWE/RED HOT OPS MODEL LONDON/FUSION
FASHION INTERNS RANAA PATEL & LYDIA WESSELS
MARCH 27 2016
MARCH 27 2016
{ FASHION }
PAGE 19
“MILLE COLLINES’ COLLECTION HAD A
LOT OF ELEMENTS OF WHO WE ARE AS
AFRICANS. BY USING OUR OWN CULTURE
AND INFUSING IT IN THE GLOBAL
FASHION DIALOGUE, THEY MADE
BEAUTIFUL GARMENTS.”
— Dr Precious Moloi-Motsepe, Executive
Chairperson of African Fashion International
“NHLANHLA TIMOTHY MASEMOLA IS
PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST
EXCITING YOUNG DESIGNERS TO
COME OUT OF SOUTH AFRICA THIS
YEAR. ” — Rich Mnisi, designer
CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT
• Top, price on request,
skirt, price on request, both
Marianne Fassler
• Top, R3 200; trousers,
R1 300; bracelet, R750;
all Akedo
•Pleated polo neck, price on
request; top, price on
request; trousers, price on
request; all Marianne
Fassler
•Jumpsuit, R980; top,
R780; scarf, R250;
all SELFI
• Cropped tee, R899; kilt,
R1 700; gloves, R499; hair
accessory, stylist’s own;
all Nhlanhla Timothy
Masemola
• Shirt, R1 100; trousers,
R1 800; beaded brooch,
R628; all Mille Collines
FASHION COVER
•Dress, R1 999,
Tamara Chérie Dyson
STOCKISTS
Akedo akedo.co.za; Marianne
Fassler leopardfrock.co.za;
Mille Collines millecollines.es;
Nhlanhla Timothy Masemola
(082) 563 8510; SELFI
selfi.co.za; Tamara Chérie
Dyson tamaracherie.com
PAGE 20
MARCH 27 2016
{ FASHION }
Waistcoat, R890; shirt
dress, R980; beret, R300;
all SELFI; oval tote,
R2 200; brooch, R800;
both SELFI X WAIF
GET THE LOOK
Take a cue from our Home Grown editorial shoot, where
brows are brushed and brown lips are reminiscent of the ’90s
LIPS
The ’90s-inspired brown lip is back. Keep
the look matte to make it modern and fill
lips with a lip liner to give the shade
staying power.
• Rimmel Lasting Finish by Kate
Lipstick in 048, R90. The entire
range is wearable on many
different skin tones.
• Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick
Matte in First Time, R260, is one
of our favourite shades.
• Smashbox Insta-Matte Lipstick
Transformer, R290. Use a tiny blob
like a balm over your lipstick to
give it an instant matte finish —
amazing, right?
• L’Oréal Lipliner Couture Color
Riche in Cafe Flore, R130, is more
of a blush shade and is a really
lovely neutral
EYES
Clumpy, chunky mascara has been a faux pas in recent years – owing mostly
to the faulty formula of the product. Now there’s a ’60s Twiggy revival,
where these doll-like lashes have become a trend with formulas specifically
designed for the effect. Liz van der Merwe, makeup artist on the shoot, gave
our model the on-trend look, along with bold and brushed-up brows.
YOURSELF
• Benefit Speed Brow,
R225, combs, sets and
tints lashes in one swipe.
24 MARCH - 24 APRIL
Catrice Eye Brow Stylist, R45, is a
super-easy pencil, with a brush on
the back end to comb through.
M.A.C Lashbrush #204, R210, is
great to groom and brush up brows.
M.A.C Big Brow pencil in Spiked, R280, is a rich brunette shade. Its
formula is a mix of wax and powder — meaning sheer, buildable colour.
A built-in, removable cone-shaped sharpener comes with it.
Photography:Merwelene van der Merwe Other photography: © iStock & © Supplied
REWARD
L’Oréal Miss Manga Punky, R150, includes polymers
which give lashes a firm, spiky hold.
Benefit High Brow
Glow, R275, is a lightBobbi Brown Eye Opening
reflective pencil that
Mascara, R360. Use
adds highlights to lids
fingertips to pinch the tips
and brow bones to
of lashes together. This
enhance the eye.
formula curls
lashes outwards,
too.
PAGE 22
MARCH 27 2016
{ FASHION }
BEAUTY NEWS
SET THE CANVAS
Glowing skin comes naturally when you have a good routine — so
instead of using a reflective product for shine, you can work with the
glow you already have. Take your pick from some of our bests
FOR TIRED EYES:
L'Oreal Paris Revitalift Filler Renew
Replumping Eye Cream, R285, which
includes ingredients like hyaluronic acid
to plump up moisture levels and
subsequent fine lines around the eyes.
FOR OILY SKIN:
Try a blotting paper like
Palladio’s Rice Paper Oil
Absorbing Blotting Tissues,
R70. Once you’ve finished your
skincare routine, use it to
“blot” away excess shine
where you don’t want it (nose,
forehead) and leave it on areas
like cheek and brow bones
instead of using a powder.
FOR SKIN THAT NEEDS A
RADIANCE BOOST:
Bobbi Brown Radiance Boost
Masque, R800, includes tiny
walnut-grain beads to gently
exfoliate and kaolin clay to
absorb oil. Sodium hyaluronate
balances moisture levels so you
won’t have that tight, dry feeling.
Photography: © Supplied
FOR THE LONGESTLASTING LOOK:
Try Catrice Prime and Fine
Mattifying Powder Waterproof,
R90. Water droplets will roll off
your skin when you use this
product, making it the ultimate
mattifier. Then, to finish off
your perfect look, L’Oréal
Infallable Fixing Mist Makeup
Finishing Spray, R200, resists
heat and humidity and sets
makeup beautifully.
FOR SENSITIVE SKIN:
La Solution 10 de Chanel,
R1 145, is a moisturiser
for super-sensitive skin
and is made with only 10
ingredients for ultimate
tolerability.
Au tu m n 2016
Get it
on
T
N
U
ACCO
SMSSurname*
e*
t Nam umber*
s
r
i
F
r
N
e to
You
R S A I D t h l y I n co m
Mon
G ro s s
4514
0
MAURITIUS:
Divine is in
the details
JOHANNESBURG TO HONG KONG:
FULLY INCLUSIVE RETURN FARE
FROM JOHANNESBURG TO:
ALL-INCLUSIVE ONE-WAY SPECIAL FARES. JOHANNESBURG TO:
R684 R798
R821
R8 935
FROM CAPE TOWN TO:
BOOK NOW! EARN VOYAGER MILES!
INTERNATIONAL ROUTES ARE FULLY
INCLUSIVE RETURN FARES
FROM DURBAN TO:
R7 657
R5 474
R6 803
R9 626
R7 443
R8 652
R9 116
R6 933
R8 262
R7 910
R6 612
R9 242
R9 879
R8 581
R11 211
R9 369
R8 071
R10 701
R1 309 R11 637
Voted Best Airline in Africa for 13 consecutive years.
Best Staff Service – Africa for the 4th time.
R11 976 R9 426
R12 528 R9 426
Go to flysaa.com, call +27 11 978 1111
or contact your local travel agent to book.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS: *DOMESTIC ROUTES One-way Fares: Between Johannesburg and Cape Town/Durban/East London/Port Elizabeth: Sales and travel period until 30 June 2016. Fares must be sold at least between 21 and 28 days before departure. Changes permitted anytime at a charge of R342 per
change #. Cancellation: Anytime airfares are non-refundable*. **INTERNATIONAL ROUTES Return Fares: Entebbe/Lusaka/Luanda/Accra/Dar es Salaam/Abuja: Sales and travel period until 31 July 2016. Changes permitted anytime at a charge of R400 per change #. Cancellation: Anytime airfares are nonrefundable*. Hong Kong: Sales period until 31 July 2016. Travel period until 31 December 2016. Changes permitted anytime at a charge of R1 500 per change #. Cancellation: before departure 50% cancellation fee. After departure no refund. London: Sales period until 30 November 2016. Travel period until
21 June 2016, and from 11 July to 30 November 2016. Changes permitted anytime at a charge of R1 700 per change #. Cancellation: Anytime airfares are non-refundable*. All fares are subject to availability and change due to currency fluctuations. SA Airways reserves the right to, at anytime, change and/or
discontinue these special fares and conditions without prior notice. # Subject to same seat availability. *Any unused fuel levies and/or regulated taxes are refundable. There is a service fee of R100 on domestic tickets and R250 on international tickets for new bookings made via our Call Centre. This service
fee will be waived for Voyager Gold, Platinum and Lifetime Platinum members.
MARCH
MADNESS
YOUD BE MAD NOT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE THIS MARCH!
Last chance to cruise on the MSC Sinfonia this season. Make the most of the last cruise departures of the season, book
now and the drinks are on us! Receive a More for Less Package included in your cruise fare.
More for Less includes 18 drinks vouchers.
M A RC H M A D N E S S
MSC Flamingo
MSC Shore Excursions
New Improved Portuguese Island
Introducing myChoice Dining
DATE
NTS
ITINERARY
04 Apr '16
4
Durban, 2 days at Portuguese Island
11 Apr '16
4
Durban, Maputo & Portuguese Island
15 Apr '16
3
18 Apr '16
4
INSIDE
FROM
OUTSIDE BALCONY
FROM
FROM
SUITE
FROM
MANDATORY
CHARGES
On request R 3 500
SOLD OUT
SOLD OUT
R 890
SOLD OUT
R 3 600
SOLD OUT
SOLD OUT
R 890
Durban, Portuguese Island
SOLD OUT
R 3 400
SOLD OUT
SOLD OUT
R 730
R 3 100
R 3 500
On request
SOLD OUT
R 890
2016-17 SEASON OPEN FOR SALE! BOOK NOW & SAVE UP TO 50%
DATE
NTS
ITINERARY
INSIDE
FROM
OUTSIDE BALCONY
FROM
FROM
SUITE
FROM
MANDATORY
CHARGES
01 Nov '16
4
R 4 500
R 5 040
R 6 700
R 6 700
R 955
05 Nov '16
2
Durban, No Where
R 2 800
R 2 800
R 3 000
R 3 500
R 605
07 Nov '16
4
R 4 500
R 4 650
R 5 750
R 6 300
R 955
11 Nov '16
7
Durban, Portuguese Island & Ilha Mozambique
R 6 050
R 6 600
R 8 300
R 9 700
R 1 290
21 Nov '16
4
R 4 500
R 5 400
R 5 750
R 6 200
R 955
28 Nov '16
4
R 4 500
R 5 000
R 5 750
R 7 280
R 955
05 Dec '16
4
R 7 500
R 5 650
R 9 600
R 9 600
R 955
09 Dec '16
3
R 4 400
R 4 400
R 5 650
R 6 150
R 785
12 Dec '16
4
R 7 000
R 7 350
R 9 000
R 9 650
R 955
16 Dec '16
3
R 6 650
R 7 000
R 8 050
R 9 200
R 785
19 Dec '16
7
Durban, Portuguese Island & Ilha Mozambique
R 16 700
R 18 000
R 1 290
26 Dec '16
11
Durban, Reunion & Mauritius
R 27 000 R 27 000 R 34 500 R 38 000
R 1 550
06 Jan '17
3
Durban to Cape Town
R 3 700
R 4 100
R 5 100
R 6 200
R 785
13 Jan '17
2
Cape Town, No Where
R 2 795
R 2 800
R 3 800
R 4 000
R 605
15 Jan '17
5
Cape Town, Walvis Bay & Luderitz
R 6 100
R 6 300
R 7 300
R 10 200
R 1 040
23 Jan '17
4
Cape Town, Port Elizabeth, Durban
R 3 200
R 3 300
R 4 550
R 4 550
R 955
27 Jan '17
2
Durban, No Where
R 2 350
R 2 400
R 2 900
R 3 500
R 605
29 Jan '17
5
R 4 750
R 4 850
R 6 100
R 7 150
R 1 040
R 12 250 R 14 000
Ot her week ly depar t ures up unt il 30 Apr il 2017
Contact your nearest ASATA Agent or
087 075 0882
msccruises.co.za
All rates are per person based on 2 people sharing a 2 berth cabin and subject to availability, foreign exchange and fuel cost uctuations. ‘March Madness’ offer applies to selected departures for only new bookings
made up until the 31st March 2016. All cruise offers are capacity controlled and offering selected cabins at a specic price in line with MSC Cruises Dynamic Pricing Policy. KIDS CRUISE FREE: Up to 2 children under 18
years, sharing a I2 or O2 cabin category with 2 adults, for Suites 2 children under 12 years & for balconies 1 child under 18 years, only paying the mandatory charges. 50% discount is capacity controlled and applicable to selected
departures. Above cruise fares exclude mandatory port, service and insurance charges: listed above. Single supplement applies and multiple berth cabins carry a surcharge. Promotions are not combinable with each other, but
are combinable with MSC Voyagers Club discounts (except for Tandem).ST&Cs apply. E&OE.
VOICES
March 27 2016
27
Accidental
Tourist
NICK PIPER
WAS walking briskly
through the London
Underground station in
Kentish Town. Like any good
Londoner, I was doing my best to
ignore those around me as I made
my way to the southbound
Northern Line train. I was wearing
my Springbok jersey.
“Hey. You. Are you from South
Africa?” The piercing New
Zealand accent broke the silence
and I was obliged to respond.
“Yup,” was all I could muster in
response to the stranger, who was
sitting on the floor just ahead of
me.
“Do you know Richard
Brookman?” he asked rather
nonchalantly, but with a slur that
suggested he had been drinking.
I stopped in my tracks because,
well, I did happen to know
Richard Brookman. I approached
the Kiwi stranger suspiciously.
He continued: “Richard
Brookman’s also got a Springbok
jersey. Good guy that Richard.”
We chatted for a few minutes,
finally introducing ourselves and
establishing how we mutually
knew Richard Brookman (the
Kiwi and my school friend
Richard had met at a campsite in
Venice).
Sitting on the train moments
I
PIET GROBLER
Small world is
getting smaller
later, I naturally reflected on the
slim chances of us both knowing
Richard. What a small world, I
thought.
Well, some googling on the
train showed me just how small it
actually is.
In 1967, a psychologist in the
US devised an experiment aiming
to discover the average “degrees
of separation” between people. In
other words, he tried to discover
just how small the world is by
working out the average
minimum number of people who
connect one with another.
He sent a letter to various
random individuals living in
different parts of the US. In the
letter was the name of an
individual in New York. The
instruction was for the receiver to
send the letter to a person they
thought had a better chance of
sending it directly to the person
in New York.
The average number of people
it took to get the letter from the
initial recipient to the final person
was six, hence the term “six
degrees of separation”.
Of course, this experiment was
limited in that it only looked at
how small the “world of America”
was, and not how small the entire
world could potentially be. It was
also conducted in the pre-internet
era.
Fast forward 50 years to an
inter-connected and globalised
society and there was now the
potential to more accurately
record the global degrees of
separation. For this task, there
was no better candidate than
Facebook. In 2011, the social
network analysed its data and
observed that, on average, every
Facebook user was connected to
any other Facebook user by an
average of 4.7 people. In other
words, the degrees of separation
had reduced from six in 1967 to
less than five in 2011.
By Facebook’s calculation, I
could pick anybody in the world
at random — be it a farmer in
Bangladesh or a banker in
Australia — and it would take no
more than four intermediaries to
arrange for us a direct
introduction. This is surely a
number that will decrease in the
future as global
interconnectedness increases.
”Do you know
Richard?“ he asked
with a slur that
suggested he had
been drinking
Two months after my meeting
with the drunk Kiwi in Kentish
Town, I found myself in Dublin. I
had forgotten about our one
degree of separation. Strolling the
streets one evening, I popped into
a bar for a Guinness nightcap. I
was wearing my Springbok jersey.
“Is that the only shirt you got,
mate?” I recognised the voice
immediately. Standing behind me,
with an outstretched right hand
and a beer comfortably nestled in
the other, was the drunk Kiwi,
drunk again.
What a small world indeed. —
© Nick Piper
Oh, snap!
QUOTE
OF THE
WEEK
Jo Kruger of Port Elizabeth sent us this
photo, taken on a dirt road at the salt
works near Walvis Bay, Namibia. Says
Jo: “My grandchild, Scarlett (with her
hands in the air), who is also my travel
partner, had endless fun with her
cousins Larushka and Barend.”
Want R500? Send your pics (at least
500KB) to
[email protected] and give
us a few postcard-style lines about your
trip and the shot. If we put you in Travel,
you win the cash!
Travel makes
one modest.
To see what
a tiny place
you occupy
in the world.
— Gustave
Flaubert
EDITOR Paul Ash CONTACT Tel: 011 280 5121 email: [email protected] DESIGNER Vernice Shaw SUBEDITORS Elizabeth Sleith, Peta Scop PICTURE SOURCING Aubrey Paton
PROOFREADER Helen Smith COVER A waiter sets up for sundowners at the Republik Beach Club & Grill at Shangri-La's Le Touessrok Resort, Mauritius SOURCE Elizabeth Sleith
PUBLISHER Aspasia Karras ADVERTISING ENQUIRIES Monica Sehume, Business Manager. Tel: 011 280 3462 email: [email protected] SUBSCRIBER HOTLINE 0860 52 52 00
perfecting island holidays for more than 60 years
y o u r m a u r i t i u s be.
holiday
here.
now.
Rates are per person sharing and include:
Return airfare ex JNB Approximate airport taxes
Return transfers Breakfast & dinner daily Kids Club daily for 3-12 years
Free motorised water sports & land sports per brochure
7 nights
20% saving on land package
from
1 child U6 at Le Mauricia &
Le Canonnier and 1 child U18 at
Le Victoria shares + eats free
from
15% saving on spa treatments
5% saving for Repeat Guests
from
R17 860
R17 860
R19 800
le mauricia
le canonnier
le victoria
superior
Upgrade to all-inclusive from R565 per adult per night
call your Asata travel agent or Beachcomber on 0800 500 800 [email protected] www.beachcomber.co.za
Valid for travel 23 May – 22 June 2016. Land package saving is included. 30 day advance purchase applicable; Repeat Guest Saving is applicable to a second stay within 18 months or 5th visit and more. Conditions apply to the spa
discounts. Rates are subject to availability and rate of exchange. Terms & conditions apply.
TRAVELLERS’ TALES
28
March 27 2016
Why variety is the spice of India
From thalis in Gujarat to cruelty-free curry in Kerala,
Chris Caldicott explores the flavours of the subcontinent
RICE AND SHINE: The best place to have biryani is in Hyderabad,
Andhra Pradesh
iSTOCK
whole spices are common but not
obligatory, and the inclusion of chilli
is by no means compulsory.
A knowledge of what to look out
for in each region is imperative.
These are the places I would recommend on a food-inspired tour.
SPICE ROUTE: A vendor sells grains at a market in New Delhi, India
O
N any journey through
India, it soon becomes
clear there is no such
thing as typical Indian
food. The cuisine of Kerala is as
different from that of Kolkata as
Swedish smorgasbords are from the
tapas bars of Spain.
GALLO/GETTY
Perceptions of Indian food are
clouded by myths: for a start, not all
regional food is “spicy” — combinations of fresh ground, roasted and
GUJARAT:
Thalis and Jain vegetarianism
On a walk in Ahmedabad’s old city, in
Gujarat, guide Nirav led me through
a labyrinth of narrow lanes between
ancient mosques, temples, markets,
courtyards, street-food stalls and
bazaars. By the time it ended at The
House of MG, I was more than ready
for the thali lunch we had booked in
its rooftop Agashiye restaurant.
As soon as we sat down, brass
bowls and giant plates (but no cutlery) were placed in front of us as a
man poured warm water from an old
brass jug so I could wash my hands.
Wave after wave of waiters arrived,
each delivering a new dish. My taste
buds popped with pleasure over the
rolls of yellow chickpea-flour pasta
sprinkled with mustard seeds and
curry leaves called khandvi, mini
dhokla cakes of savoury sponge,
wonderfully aromatic kadhi curd
soup, fresh-baked flat breads and
dozens of perfectly spiced vegetable
dishes, dhals and chutneys.
Nirav explained that Gujarati food
culture was dominated by Jainism, a
religion that regards all life as so
sacred that not only is every dish
strictly vegetarian but it is also made
without anything that grows below
ground in case the harvesting harms
insects — not even garlic or onion.
KERALA:
Seafood and spice ports
Kerala has a plethora of places offering hands-on cooking experiences,
from the family kitchens of rural
“homestay” properties to luxury
beach resorts along the Malabar
Coast. The home of pepper, turmeric
and cardamom, Kerala, with its spice
ports on the Arabian Sea, has been
attracting Jewish, Arab, Oriental and
European traders for thousands of
years. They in turn have introduced
new spices such as chilli, cumin, ginger and coriander to create a cosmopolitan and diverse cuisine.
My introduction came at the cooking school at Neeleshwar Hermitage,
a wonderfully relaxed eco-resort on
Kerala’s northern coast. Under the
guidance of the resort’s chefs, we
chose fish straight from fishermen’s
nets at dawn, then harvested our
own organic vegetables on a neighbouring farm. Later, we did red chilli
prawns peralan, fish poached in
coconut milk with curry leaves and
some excellent Ayurvedic vegetarian
thorans in the beachside kitchen.
TAMIL NADU:
Banana leaves and dosas
A spectacular train ride over the hills
of the Western Ghats, through lush
TRAVELLERS’ TALES
March 27 2016
forests of coconut palms, banana
trees and coffee plantations took me
to Tamil Nadu. The region is famed
for its vegetarian breakfast dishes of
crispy rice and urad dal flour dosa
pancakes, and spongy, soft steamed
idli rice cakes, served with fresh
coconut chutney and spicy lentil
sambars. Tamil thalis are typically
served on a banana leaf, so when
you’re done the leaf is simply folded
up and recycled as cattle fodder.
In the temple town of Thanjavura,
I enjoyed a vegetarian thali under the
stars at Nila — the rooftop restaurant
of the Svatma hotel — and at The
Bangala hotel in Karaikudi discovered Chettinad cuisine, a robust,
spicy, aromatic, non-vegetarian version of Tamil food.
KOLKATA:
Bengali cuisine
Food in Kolkata is all about mustard
oil, fish and panch phoron — a fivespice blend of nigella, mustard,
cumin, fennel and fenugreek seeds.
The city’s residents eat Bengali at
home and anything but when out.
Consequently, although you can easily find all the ingredients in the city
markets, it is much harder to sample
Bengali cuisine in restaurants. Two
exceptions well worth seeking out
are Kewpie’s, a family-run restaurant
in Elgin Lane, and the Indian Coffee
House in College Street.
RAJASTHAN:
Desert provisions
Rajasthan is better known for its
imposing desert fortress-towns than
PRICES FROM
29
MUMBAI:
Street food
I found both of my most exquisite
food experiences of India in Mumbai.
The sinfully divine garlic butter crab
served at the stalwart Mangalorian
seafood restaurant Trishna is so good
you don’t even notice the drab interior and abrupt waiters.
By contrast, my introduction to
pani puri was delivered with charm
and smiles from a simple stall at
sunset on the city’s Chowpatty
Beach.
The moment the first crispy ball of
fried wheat filled with a magical combination of tamarind and date purée,
chickpeas, potato, onion, chilli,
coriander, mint and kala namaklaced water exploded in my mouth
was one of culinary perfection. —
© The Daily Telegraph
WHERE
TO DINE
BOWLED OVER: With so many regional specialities to choose from, it’s
a good idea to know what to look out for
iSTOCK
its cuisine. Vegetables are hard to
grow here, so cereals, lentils, pulses,
spices, ghee and milk are the essentials. To discover how inventive chefs
can be with these, head for Shahpura
Bagh in Bhilwara, a rural boutique
hotel in a former royal summer residence where guests are taken to the
local village and farm before cooking
lessons around the pool. In the Pali
district next door, set among the
Aravali Hills in a former royal hunting lodge, Rawla Narlai offers what
must be the most romantic dinner in
India, a Rajasthani thali at an ancient
step well lit by a thousand butter
lamps under the stars.
ANDHRA PRADESH:
The biryani
Hyderabad in Andhra Pradesh is the
home of biryani: layers of slowbaked vegetables, meat, nuts, rice
and spices. Cheap and cheerful
biryanis can be tasted at pavement
cafés among the Muslim bazaars of
the old town, while sophisticated
versions are offered on the antique
marble terraces of the Taj Falaknuma
Palace.
I booked a full-day culinary tour
with food historian Jonty Rajagoplan.
Our journey began in the vegetable
market, moving on to a cooking lesson at a street hawker stall, then a
crash course in samosa making in a
rooftop kitchen in the bazaar. After
high tea in an ornate old town haveli,
I amazingly found room for a beltbusting “three cuisines of Andhra
Pradesh” supper in the ultra-cool
Aish Restaurant at the Park Hotel.
■ GUJARAT: The House of MG (houseofmg.com),
Sidi Saiyad Jali, Lal Darwaja, Ahmedabad.
■ KERALA: Neeleshwar Hermitage (neeleshwarhermitage.com),
Kasaragod District, Malabar.
■ TAMIL NADU: Svatma Hotel (svatma.in), No 4/1116,
Blake Higher Secondary M Chavadi, Thanjavur;
The Bangala (thebangala.com), Devakottai Road, Senjai Karaikudi.
■ ANDHRA PRADESH: Taj Falaknuma Palace (tajhotels.com),
Engine Bowl, Falaknuma, Hyderabad; full-day
culinary tour — Detours Hyderabad (detoursindia.com).
■ KOLKATA: Kewpie’s Kolkata
(kewpieskitchen.com/home.html),
2 Elgin Lane; Indian Coffee House, opposite the
Presidency College on College Street.
■ RAJASTHAN: Rawla Narlai (rawlanarlai.com),
near Desuri, District Pali; Shahpura Bagh
(shahpurabagh.com), Bhilwara.
■ MUMBAI: Trishna, Sai Baba Marg,
next to Commerce House,
near Rhythm House, Fort.
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11 NIGHTS DEPARTING JUN - OCT 2016
CRUISE ITINERARY:
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*PRICES FROM
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30
IN SHORT
March 27 2016
ARRIVALS
&
DEPARTURES
TRAVELLING NEWS
Compiled by
ELIZABETH SLEITH
UP IN SMOKE: Joe Corre, left, is threatening to burn his multimillion-pound collection of punk memorabilia, including this
image created for the single ‘Anarchy in the UK’ by the Sex Pistols
T was 40 years ago this year that a
random little band called the Sex Pistols
put out a song called Anarchy in the UK,
sparking a revolution in music, style
and outlook that sent waves across the world.
Now, as cultural historians try to
commemorate its clout, at least one player
has some expletives to toss around — and
not an insignificant collection of memorabilia
to burn.
Joe Corre, the son of Sex Pistols manager
Malcolm McLaren and designer Vivienne
Westwood, both instrumental in bringing
punk music and fashion to the mainstream,
has objected to Punk London, which, on the
official website, is described as a series of
“gigs, exhibitions and events to
commemorate 40 years of punk’s ongoing
influence
It’s sponsored by such cultural
I
PISS OFF,
LONDON
— FROM THE
PRINCE OF PUNK
heavyweights as the British Library, British
Fashion Council and the Museum of London,
but that’s precisely Corre’s beef. Things
endorsed by Queen Elizabeth II and London
Mayor Boris Johnson simply cannot,
according to the 48-year-old lingerie
entrepreneur, be punk.
And so, to bring a bang to his objection,
Corre is threatening to burn his huge
collection of inherited memorabilia —
estimated to be worth about £5-million.
He told The Guardian, “I’m going to burn
it all.”
Whether it’s relevant that Corre last year
bought a stake in a PR firm is up to you —
he says it isn’t. But he has, rather
unanarchistically, been good enough to offer
a date and place: be there in Camden,
London, on November 26 — poetically, the
date of the single’s release 40 years ago — to
see all his goodies go up in flames.
If his logic still baffles you, try this. “These
days, everyone’s worried about their brand,”
he said. “We live in an age of conformity.
Burning this gear is about saying we don’t
subscribe to those values.”
And, if you’re going to be in London this
year and would like to check out some punkrelated events, even though it’s not very
punk, check out punk.london.
9 Night Accommodation in an inside
cabin
All meals and entertainment on board
Gratuities to on board staff
Fantastica Inside
Bella Outside
Inside cabin
*Kids cruise FREE!
Valid 09 - 18 November 2016
Mandatory Charges R2 075 per person
Outside cabin
Balcony cabin
Valid 07 - 11 November 2016
Mandatory Charges R955 per person
All rates are per person based on 2 people sharing a 2 berth cabin and subject to availability. All cruise offers are capacity controlled
and offering selected cabins at a specific price in line with MSC Cruises Dynamic Pricing Policy.
Exclusions : flights, airport taxes, mandatory port, baggage, insurance, service charges and optional excursions.
*Up to 2 children under 18 years, sharing a I2 or O2 cabin category with 2 adults, for Suites 2 children under 12 years & for balconies
1 child under 18 years, only paying the mandatory charges. Single supplement applies and multiple berth cabins carry a surcharge.
Promotions are not combinable with each other, but are combinable with MSC Voyagers Club discounts (except for Tandem).
IN SHORT
March 27 2016
WATCH OUT FOR
ONLINE VISA SCAMS
F you’re heading to the US
and mean to apply for a
visa exemption, beware —
there are some shady operators
out there.
Several websites and e-mail
scams are working hard to
trick people into thinking they
are official US government
affiliates — and thereby getting
people to part needlessly with
their cash.
The online application
known as Esta (Electronic
System for Travel
Authorization) is for those
seeking to travel to the US
under the Visa Waiver
Program. It involves an $18
(about R275) fee.
Although there is only one
official Esta website —
https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov —
I
there are several third-party
companies using tricks for
clicks — and then charging a
fee to assist unwitting
travellers to register and
submit applications.
Such businesses are not
endorsed by the US
government but are designed
to appear as if they are.
Although deceptive, they are
not illegal and if you find
yourself making application
through such a site, you will be
liable for their fees.
To be sure you’re in the right
place, note that US government
websites can be identified by
their “.gov” ending.
For more information on
Esta, visit the US Customs and
Border Protection website at
cbp.gov/esta.
31
AGENT’S ALERT
■ 8 NIGHTS IN PHUKET AND
2 IN ABU DHABI FOR R15 597 pps
Avoca Travel is offering eight amazing
nights in Phuket, Thailand’s original
recipe for tailor-made fun in the sun.
Jet-setters breeze through in droves
for some pummelling at classy spa
sessions; sundowners on rented yachts
and chilling at swish nightspots. With
high-end dining, luxury shopping,
deep-sea diving, white sandy beaches,
friendly locals and some of Thailand’s
best resorts at your disposal, you might
be tempted to stay awhile.
A two-night stopover in Abu Dhabi will let you
immerse yourself in the rich culture, history and
natural beauty of this capital city and largest
emirate in the United Arab Emirates. While the
Corniche Road Waterfront and Saadiyat Island hold
centre stage, other attractions in this modern
petro-city state include the Yas Island Complex,
Ferrari World and the stunning Sheikh Zayed
Mosque.
This package includes 10 nights with:
ý Return airfare and taxes from Johannesburg;
ý Shared twin accommodation with breakfast;
ý Eight nights in Phuket at Centara Hotels;
ý Two nights in Abu Dhabi at five-star hotels;
ý A Phuket City tour;
ý An Abu Dhabi City tour;
ý Return airport transfers.
The package excludes:
ý Visas, insurance, tips, personal items.
The price per person sharing is R15 597. This
offer is valid for travel from May 1 2016 until
October 31 2016.
CONTACT: E-mail [email protected]; visit
avocatravels.com or call 031 202 0370.
cruise and save
$749
… the cost of a ticket from
London to Paris aboard a private
jet operated by JetSmarter, “the
Uber of private jets”. The
company has launched an app
which allows customers to book
empty seats on private jets
operating in its network.
Source: The Daily Telegraph
Your price is safe with us – we
hold the rate of exchange
Loire Valley, France,
Wine & Quaint Villages
Flights + 7 night boating
holiday
on Le Boat Corvette
Departs Decize, 4 June 2016.
HIGHLIGHTS Plagny, Nevers,
Marseilles-les-Aubigny, La Charité
sur Loire, Sancerre and more.
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Departs Dubai, 4 December 2016.
HIGHLIGHTS Abu Dhabi, Sir Bani Yas, Bahrain,
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ADD flights from R9900.
on Norwegian Sky
Departs Miami, 3 October 2016.
HIGHLIGHTS Grand Bahama Island, Nassau,
Great Stirrup Cay and Miami.
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Norwegian Fjords
Southbound Alaska
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Departs Venice, 3 October 2016.
HIGHLIGHTS Split, Corfu, Santorini, Heraklion,
Piraeus and Venice.
on Norwegian Star
Departs Copenhagen, 17 May 2016.
HIGHLIGHTS Alesund, Geiranger, Flam, Bergen
and Copenhagen.
on Celebrity Millenium
Departs Seward, 3 June 2016.
HIGHLIGHTS Hubbard Glacier, Skagway, Icy
Strait Point, Ketchikan, Seward and more.
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Cruise prices are per person sharing unless otherwise specified in South African Rand and are subject to limited availability. Advertised prices include any discount mentioned already. Book and pay before 1 April 2016 unless otherwise stated or sold out
prior. Prices vary per cabin category and are subject to change until payment is made in full. Cruise line rules and regulations apply. Certain cruise lines reserve the right to charge a fuel surcharge at any time should the need arise. All prices subject to
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does not apply to Watertight deal OR Cruise Free Guarantee. Prices correct at time of going to print on 23 March 2016 and are based on specific departure dates. Ask your cruise consultant for more details. Visas and travel insurance are excluded.
E and OE. Please refer to cruiseabout.co.za for more information on our Cruise Free Guarantee.
32
THE BIG READ
March 27 2016
HY do we travel?
To encounter new
cultures, experience
new things, to shake
our world view and
shock our hearts.
All noble intentions, to be sure. But
sometimes — tell the truth now — we go
only to get away: to sink into a lounger,
drink tropical concoctions and have
someone called Garçon polish our
sunglasses.
Yes, anthropology is admirable but
once in a while it’s great to just go and
be a rock star. And on the Indian Ocean
island of Mauritius, it doesn’t get more
rock star than Le Touessrok.
Strutting across a little archipelago on
the beautifully beached east coast, near
Trou d’eau Douce, Le Touessrok is a
great grand-daddy of Mauritian
hospitality. Its party pedigree stretches
back to 1915, when a local sugar baron
named Henri Wiehé bought a rocky islet
in a film-set-blue lagoon for his adored
wife, Hilda. Then it was known as Hare
Island (Ile aux Lievres), but its new
mistress called it Ilot Touessrok, after a
spot in their native Brittany.
With no electricity or mains water,
their life here was basic; but the setting
was unparalleled and the sea laid on a
never-ending banquet of lobster,
mussels, oysters and fish. Though this
side of the island was (and still is)
wilder and less accessible than the west,
their friends — and their friends’ friends
— would come again and again to share
in the bounty. The pair quickly became
known for their fabulous lunch parties
and soon set up a five-roomed
guesthouse so their most convivial
callers might linger. By 1969, the
property was still in the family and had
grown into a 14-room hotel.
Its big break, however, came in 1978,
when Sol “the Sun King” Kerzner picked
it as the golden ray on which to stake
his Mauritian empire. Cue a musical
montage filled with big hair, bellbottoms
and lip gloss; celebrities from Twiggy to
Anneline Kriel to, later, Naomi Campbell
to Mark Shuttleworth, all sipping
pinacoladas and waterskiing and
dancing barefoot in the sand, looking for
all the world like three decades of a
Peter Stuyvesant commercial.
March 27 2016
W
TANDOORI SALMON
This dish is best prepared a day
in advance and left to
marinate in the fridge
overnight. Note that chef
Ramesh Bundi did not
supply quantities. Make
it according to your own
requirements or watch
him making it online at
sundaytimes.co.za.
Oil
Turmeric powder
Plain yoghurt
Fresh chopped coriander
Chilli
Ginger
Mustard paste
Honey
Garam masala
Salt
Salmon pieces
Heat a generous amount of oil in a
small saucepan and
add turmeric powder.
Stir, then set aside.
Add heaps of plain
yoghurt to a shallow
baking dish.
Sprinkle with fresh,
chopped coriander;
fresh chilli and ginger.
Add mustard paste
and honey, garam
masala and salt.
VERY VIP: The five-star resort, above, occupies a spectacular location on the Mauritian east coast. Top right is a peek inside a Hibiscus junior suite with beach access
ROLLIN’ LIKE A ’ROK STAR
Elizabeth Sleith gets pampered like a pro at the relaunched Le Touessrok Resort on Mauritius
beauty, none of this would matter much
if the pampering weren’t up to par. If
you’re not an actual celebrity, you
wouldn’t know it here. I’m not,
obviously, but I was still spirited from
the door of the plane to a private car
on the runway to have my passport
stamped in a champagne lounge,
separate from the main terminal.
In my suite, a stylish sigh over the
ocean with an ipod jack and a deep bath
in the middle, there waited a plateful of
macaroons and a bottle of Veuve. In
pots dotted around the resort, someone
writes the day of the week in sand —
because how would you know otherwise?
Indeed, the diva is in the details.
While there’s a lot of lounging to be
done, there is also an emphasis on
wellness that suits the resort’s
work-hard, play-hard clientele. There are
personal training sessions in the gym
… so it’s all indigenous, organic
and recycled; wood and water
features; panoramic windows
and sea breezes — a holiday
on glossy paper. And oh, that sea
Such sustained fabulousness is wont
to fray, however, and Kerzner and Le
Touessrok split nine years ago. Though
the band played on, there were some
back-stage rumblings about faded assets
and a less-than-shimmering sheen. Then
last year, Le Touessrok pulled a classic
“legend” move. It got a new manager
(the Hong Kong-based Shangri-La
group) and a facelift.
After a six-month hiatus, the grand
unveiling in December revealed a
nip-tuck of the classiest kind. That
retro-’70s Mediterranean backbone has
been collagen-pumped with clean, Asian
interiors for a contemporary,
cosmopolitan cool. At the heart, an airy,
open lounge has replaced the clinical
reception desk; and floating levels
feature three restaurants, a bar, a stage
and some shops, all spaced to avoid a
cluttered feel and at the same time
retain a quiet intimacy.
Walls have fallen to let the outside in
so it’s all indigenous, organic and
recycled; wood and water features;
panoramic windows and sea breezes —
a holiday on glossy paper. And oh, that
sea. Of the resort’s three villas and 203
rooms, not a single one fails to dive
deep into a splendid ocean view.
Still, on an island bathed in so much
33
Gently mix all together with your
hands.
Pour the turmeric oil into the
mixture and, using your hands, mix
well.
Add salmon pieces and gently turn
to ensure all pieces are well
coated with marinade.
Leave in the fridge
overnight.
Bake in a 200°C oven for
6-7 minutes and serve
immediately with ghee rice
and salad.
■ Find more recipes from
Safran’s chef Ramesh Bundi,
pictured, at
sundaytimes.co.za.
to the mainland.
At night though, you must flick a
style switch and dress for dinner —
Japanese at Kushi; international at Le
Bazar; or best-you’ve-ever-had Indian at
Safran. (The latter’s chef Ramesh Bundi,
born in Hospet, Karnataka, India, and
trained in Michelin kitchens, shared
some of his recipes, see the box above).
After-dinner shows on the main stage
shimmy from sega dancing to jazz and
the old-school Sega bar has a rum
sommelier and something familiar for all
those old-timers who’ve stayed loyal to
Le Touessrok through the years. These
are the pride of the hotel’s staff, many of
whom have been here for decades
themselves and can genuinely greet
returning customers like old friends.
So it was for an Australian family I
met, who had first been here on their
honeymoon and were now back for the
In little pots dotted around the resort,
someone writes the day of the week in sand
— because how would you know
otherwise? Indeed, the diva is in the details.
LYING LOW: The fabulous people evade prying eyes and the paparazzi on the private Ilot Mangénie at Shangri-La’s Le Touessrok, Resort and Spa in Mauritius
ELIZABETH SLEITH
and group jogs on the beach; the Chi
spa grows its own Ayurvedic herbs and
preludes each treatment with a guided
meditation — I tried this and can
enthusiastically attest to its
opiate-mimicking qualities.
An early morning yoga session by the
adults-only infinity pool (yes, there is
another one for celebutots) limbered me
up nicely in preparation for the perfect
splits I would do later that day —
inelegantly while I was trying to waterski.
This is one of a host of watersports
offered from Ile aux Cerfs (along with
golf, thanks to its 18-hole, Bernhard
Langer-designed course), though you
may have to share with — gasp — day
trippers from other hotels.
For exclusive lazing, guests can
shipwreck themselves on the private
Ilot Mangénie, a Robinson Crusoe-style
version of desertion but with ice buckets
and waiters and regular ferries back
umpteenth time — with their 15-yearold daughter.
For her ilk, the relaunch has involved
some effort to snag a younger, hipper
crowd — most notably Republik, an
uber-sexy beach bar, all fire pits and
pillows, where the edgy gather for
cocktails at sunset and DJs crank out
cool beats till after dark. The fabulous
girls may wear their best heels here but
they’re sure to end up carrying them
home later, their toes dusted with sand.
And will they be weaving from the
music, the maitais or the magic?
Whatever it was, I was giddy enough at
bedtime to blow kisses off my balcony;
lapping up the ocean’s dark applause.
“Thank you, Le Touessrok, you’ve been
amazing. Goodnight!” — Sleith was a
guest of Shangri-La’s Le Touessrok
■ For information or to book, call
World Leisure Holidays on
0860 954 954 or visit wlh.co.za.
HOTEL REVIEW
34
March 27 2016
LONG
BEACH
GOLF AND
SPA
RESORT
Belle Mare
Reviewed by
SHANTHINI NAIDOO
LOCATION:
Under an hour from the airport, Long Beach
is situated on the east coast of Mauritius. It is
a five-minute drive to the small village of
Poste de Flacq, where you can access a
supermarket and a few clothing shops.
While the rockier northern beaches are
similar to KwaZulu-Natal’s coastline, the
east is all about white sand; still, clear
shallows and blue beyonds. It is ideal for
little children, even close to high tide.
It’s also a short drive and ferry to Ile Aux
Cerfs for golf and swimming.
STYLE AND DÉCOR:
Fresh, clean and modern. This is an ecofriendly hotel using open-air, lightmaximising and natural materials.
Common spaces are arty, sometimes
futuristic, with sea themes. Giant pebbles to
sit on in the lobby; azure-hued cushions and
couches; waterfalls and Japanese-style zen
water features keep it cool.
The rooms are decorated in citrous tones.
The slate tiles are wonderful for the heat,
though slippery when wet.
We loved the open piazza, surrounded by
five restaurants, which leads onto the beach
bar, then a grassy lawn before the seashore.
The adults-only infinity pool is hidden away
for privacy.
The main pool is a design masterpiece.
Semi-private areas, a jacuzzi section, several
baby- and child-friendly areas and loungers of
various styles everywhere. It merges onto the
beach, where there are more loungers, bean
bags and sun beds, all within service range.
SERVICE:
Happy, friendly and obliging. You may come
across the occasional hiccup regarding the
half-board/all-inclusive issue. It is a kind of
economic apartheid that causes confusion at
times. Generally, they do their best.
EATING:
There are five restaurants — all spectacular.
Breakfast and buffet at Le Marche; Sapori,
the Italian restaurant; wicker chairs and
CHECKING THE BOXES: A sunbed on the beach, above; and breakfast indulgence and entertainment for the little ones, below
sea-shore dining at Tides; the Chinese and
Japanese restaurants, Chopsticks and Hasu.
Dinner options are either buffet or à la
carte, three courses at your chosen
restaurant. Everyone pays extra at Hasu.
The buffet at Le Marche is themed nightly
and, unlike the mass-produced budget meals
at some hotels, the five-star difference means
good quality roasts, top-notch seafood and
authentic world cuisine. On the Asian
evening, there were fresh Peking duck spring
rolls, several rice and noodle dishes, curries
and grills on hot coals.
For lunches, poolside, there are fabulous
pizzas (R300), salads and sandwiches. Kids’
meals are chicken or fish nuggets, expensive
at around R120. The all-inclusive packages
make sense if you eat and drink a lot.
Out-of-package drinks and food are pricey, as
with most resorts on the island.
ACTIVITIES:
If you have kids, don’t bother touring. It is
hot, expensive and mostly unimpressive. We
did a trip to the muggy and mosquitodrenched Pamplemousses Botanical Gardens
for around R2 000, to see a pond of giant lily
pads and pitiful tortoises.
Do visit the Ganga Talao temple for a
spiritual experience, otherwise hotel
watersports should happily occupy a visitor
with the best thing to do in Mauritius, which
is enjoy the sea. Long Beach has paddle boats
and kayaks, glass-bottomed boat cruises and
snorkelling for guests.
BEST TIME TO GO:
It is tropical all year round. Hot and humid
with the occasional downpour.
FACILITIES:
Kids’ club, nightclub and baby-sitting
services.
There are cooking demos, evening
entertainment and an exercise programme
with sunrise yoga, a fitness centre, tennis and
a spa. Also a complimentary shuttle, ferry
and green fees for golfers to Ile Aux Cerfs. If
you want to visit as a non-golfer, the taxi fare
is about R800 and the ferry is free.
Excellent wifi throughout the resort.
DOWNSIDES:
Ants and a few stray cats and dogs, but
children seem to love them all.
RATES:
Season dependent, it starts at around R5 000
per room, per night, half board for two
people and two children in a 62m² room. The
all-inclusive packages were an additional
R2 000 per day in March. Discovery Vitality
members get discounts on World Leisure
Holiday trips.
CONTACT:
Visit wlh.co.za or
longbeachmauritius.com.
TRAVEL ADVICE
March 27 2016
Ask
Andrew
35
SHOWING OFF: Daffodils in
full bloom with Big Ben in
the background in
Westminster, London
EPA
ANDREW
UNSWORTH
We can help with your
destination dilemmas, visa
puzzles and itinerary ideas. E-mail
[email protected]
famous Keukenhof Gardens. You
can also see the vast fields of
commercial tulips from the air, or
take a day tour with Amsterdam
City Tours to see them up close.
See amsterdamcitytours.com/
keukenhof-tours.
Provence, in the south of
France, is renowned for its farmed
lavender fields. These are at their
best in late summer, July or
August. This is also the best time
to see the sunflowers which
brighten the already beautiful
landscape of Tuscany in Italy.
How you get to see these
flowers is up to you. I suggest you
hire a car and travel the back
roads in each case. You can also
get up close on a walking tour.
European activity holiday
specialists UTracks and Sherpa
Expeditions offer trips to all of the
above, but you have to get to
Europe, of course. For more, see
UTracks.com and
sherpaexpeditions.com.
BLOOMING WONDERFUL
I am planning a European
holiday during spring and
summer and would like to see
the natural and farmed flowers.
When is the best time to go, and
how do I get to see them? —
Bonnie van Zyl
This can be unpredictable but
generally daffodils bloom all over
England in March and April, with
stunning displays in London’s
parks, for example, Green Park next
to Buckingham Palace.
For the genuine wild variety,
with two-tone yellow flowers, you
could go to North Yorkshire’s
Farndale Valley, where the flowers
are reputed to have been planted
by the monks of the nearby
Rievaulx Abbey.
For bluebell woods, the
Cotswolds have the best show in
April and May. Start in Bath and
head for Cheltenham and on to
Stratford-on-Avon.
The tulips of Holland are best
seen in May as well, and perhaps
the best spot to see them is the
CERTIFY YOUR SKINS
A friend from the UK wants to
buy and take home a zebra skin.
He expects to spend about
R3 000. What health certificates
does an animal hide need to be
legally exported from SA, and,
WIN 2 ECONOMY
AIR TICKETS TO THE
importantly, imported into the
UK and other European
countries? — David Brown
Properly treated hides and skins are
popular with tourists from abroad.
However, they are not that cheap
and your friend is looking at a
figure closer to R10 000 for a good
zebra skin. An Nguni cattle hide
would be a cheaper option. There
are a number of reputable dealers
offering export services on the
Internet.
Check that any company you
buy from — in store or on the
Internet — is recognised by,
registered with and approved by
the South African State Veterinarian
Authority; the Department of
Environmental Affairs and Tourism
(DEAT); Trade of Protected Species
(TOPS), and The European Union
Trade Control and Expert System
(TRACES).
Any supplier must issue you
with a permit to export. This will
cost R150 for a Burchell’s zebra skin
and R500 for a Hartmann’s zebra
skin. This should come with a
declaration from the company
selling the skin, and a vet
certificate. The permit usually takes
two to three weeks, but can be
done in days for a higher fee.
This applies to any animal skin
for export. One often sees beautiful
cow and other animal skins for sale
on the roadside, but these products
are mostly for the local market and
may not carry export clearance.
Check it out first, and don’t accept
a verbal assurance.
Delta is a major U.S. airline with its headquarters in
Atlanta, Georgia. The airline operates nearly 5000
flights daily to 328 destinations in 57 countries and
on six continents. Delta operates a daily nonstop
service from Johannesburg to the USA.
To stand a chance of winning two economy tickets to any
major city in the USA, simply complete this crossword
puzzle and identify the CITY featured each week.
1
2
3
S
H
L
4
M
5
A
Across Clues:
3. Nicknamed the City of Angels
4. The famous beach area of this city
5. Name the annual movie awards ceremony held in
this city: A _ _ _ _ _ _ Awards
Down Clues:
1. The wealthy real estate coastal area on the West Coast
2. The part of the city where the movie stars live
To enter SMS the keyword DELTA4, plus the name of the city
indicated in 3 across, followed by your name and email address to
45476. SMSs cost R1.50. Free SMSs do not apply. Errors will be billed.
&
Terms & Conditions: SMSs cost R1.50. Free SMSs do not apply. Errors will be billed. The competition starts at 6am on Sunday,
6 March 2016, and ends at 10pm on Tuesday, 29 March 2016. Winners’ names will be published in the Sunday Times on Sunday,
10 April 2016. Eight (8) economy class air tickets will be awarded and winners will be drawn on a random basis from all entries
received. Prizes must be taken up (or rejected) as awarded and cannot transferred to any other person, sold or converted to cash, and
are subject to availability. Air tickets are valid for a period of one (1) year from date of issue. Winners must be over 18 years of age and
in possession of a valid passport. Tickets include fuel levies but airport/government taxes will be collected (about $80 per person
converted to ZAR at time of ticketing), but DO NOT INCLUDE VISAS. Flights will be Delta-operated aircraft and commence from
Johannesburg to a city in the continental USA (stopovers not permitted). Certificates confirming the air tickets will be issued in the
name of the winners and travel must commence within one year of issue of the certificate. Flights/dates are subject to availability.
This competition is open to all except employees and their families of Times Media Pty Limited and Delta Air Lines, and their
advertising agents. By entering this competition you are allowing the use of your contact details for future marketing purposes.
THE INSIDER
36
March 27 2016
The Magnificent 7
No time to do the Orange?
How about these quick fixes?
1
A QUICK RUSH ON THE “CROC”
The Crocodile River is Joburg’s secret.
Drifting downstream on a rock-solid
inflatable two-person “Crocodile” and
shooting burbling rapids, it’s easy to forget
that you are just 30 minutes from the heart
of Africa’s richest city. In places the river
winds under high cliffs and between treecovered hills, making it feel as if you’re
paddling on a lost river in Africa. — Paul Ash
■ Local adventure outfitter Paddle Power
(paddlepower.co.za, tel: 012 205 1278)
offers half-day trips, led by experienced
river guides, R320, including an ice lolly.
launch on to the Great Brak River near
Middelburg. Fed by clean water from the
Orange-Fish River tunnel, this river has many
enjoyable rapids up to Grade 3. On our short
visit we bounced along through easy and fun
whitewater on a two-hour trip. On longer
trips you return to the main camp each
night. — Claire Keeton
■ Karoo River Rafting (karoo-riverrafting.co.za, tel: 084 429 9944) offers
trips lasting from one hour (R350pp) to
two days (R1 500pp including
accommodation in tents or cabins). The
season runs from August to May.
2
4
ALONG THE MIGHTY TUGELA
Known to some old rivermen as “the
Beast of the East”, the Tugela is known
for its sheer spectacle. On its banks in a
remote valley near Weenen is Zingela, a
rafting camp that beats all others. You can
chill — the accommodation is spectacular —
or go rafting and acquaint yourself with the
infamous “Washing Machine” and “Finger
Rock” rapids. — Claire Keeton
■ Rates at Zingela Safaris
(zingelasafaris.co.za, tel: 036 354 7005
start at R375pppn self-catering to R950pp
for fully catered luxury accommodation.
Rafting is extra, from R250pp.
CONQUER THE VAAL
Parys, on the banks of the Vaal, is
Gauteng’s top rafting destination. The
short section of the Vaal boasts famous
rapids such as “Gatsien” and “Big Daddy”,
which sound much scarier than they really
are — the rapids range from Grade 1
(“easy” on a scale of one to six) to Grade 3,
depending on water levels. In peak season,
the river attracts up to 2 000 rafters a day,
many there for their first exhilarating taste of
whitewater rafting. — Claire Keeton
■ X Factor Events (x-factorevents.co.za,
tel: 082 924 3941) runs half-day trips
(R250pp) and full-day trips (R400pp).
3
A DESERT GEM
The Karoo seems an unlikely place for a
whitewater adventure — until you
5
A WEEKEND IN SWAZILAND
The Usutu is a wonderful river. Wide
and placid for the most part, it has
ROCK N ROLL! Adventure girls Marianne Schwankhart and Claire Keeton tackle the Ash River
outside Clarens
MARIANNE SCHWANKHART
sections where the flow barrels between
rocks, making fine rapids with names like
“Holomi Station” and “Initiator”. Most
rapids are Grade 3 but some, as a guide
once put it to me, are “Grade 4 with
attitude”. Go with a guide and you will be
thrilled. — Paul Ash
■ Swazi Trails (swazitrails.co.sz, tel:
+268 241 62180 offers a full-day trip from
R1 300pp. Discounts available.
6
THE GLORIOUS PALMIET
One of Cape Town’s best-kept secrets,
the Palmiet offers a winter’s day of
paddling happiness on tea-coloured water in
the utterly unspoiled Kogelberg Biosphere
Reserve. Trips are done on Crocs or — if the
water levels are low — on one-person Gecko
tubes. — Paul Ash
■ Gravity Adventures (gravity.co.za,
tel: 021 683 3698) offers winter-only trips,
starting at R650 (R575 on Geckos).
7
FUN ON THE ASH RIVER,
CLARENS
Those who know come for the fast
water that flows like chilled, green-gold
champagne all year round. The Ash has a
few big rapids (Grades 3 and 4) and plenty
of easy ones, as well as meandering stretches
on which children can raft with no risk of
flipping. The crystal water comes from the
Katse Dam in Lesotho and through the
Trans-Caledon tunnel, which means rafting
is year-round. — Claire Keeton
■ Clarens Xtreme (clarensxtreme.co.za),
tel: 058 256 1260) offers half-day trips
from R450pp.
031 2020 370
082 786 4271
[email protected]
www.avocatravels.com
ABU DHABI TOURISM AUTHORITY
ESTIMATED AIRPORT TAXES
BOOK BEFORE 31MAR16
AIRFARES FROM INCL
DESTINATION DUR
MUMBAI
R5911
DUBAI
R6332
ISTANBUL
R7576
PHUKET
R8175
MAURITIUS
R8404
CHENNAI
R8910
LONDON
R9271
HONG KONG
R9653
MANCHESTER
R9779
LOS ANGELES
R13695
JNB BUSINESS
R5011
R33948
R6447
R30742
R6012
R27827
R7420
R35702
R6334
R30020
R7681
R35140
R9240
R38110
R7205
R33583
R9779
R36711
R12984 R54816
LOW SEASON 4 DAY MINI STAYS
*INCL AIRFARES, ACCOM & BREAKFAST VALID TILL 30MAY16
DESTINATION
PPS FROM
DESTINATION
PPS FROM
MUMBAI
HONG KONG
VENICE
DELHI
PRAGUE
R7 950
R8 550
R9 350
R10 350
R10 450
BEIJING
GUANGZHOU
FRANKFURT
SINGAPORE
MANCHESTER
R10 750
R10 950
R11 250
R11 950
R12 050
8 days CASABLANCA, FEZ, MARRAKESH & RABAT
Includes: accommodation, breakfast, dinner, tour guide,
entrance fees, porterage, tips at hotel & transfers
9 days PHUKET WITH PHI PHI ISLAND
Includes: airfare, accommodation, breakfast & Full day Phi Phi Island tour
8 days MARVELLOUS MAURITIUS
Includes: airfare, accommodation, breakfast, dinner and 3 full day tours
R6 397
VALID TILL 31OCT16
R10 197
VALID FROM 01MAY16 TILL15JUN16 & 01JUL16 TILL 30SEP16
R13 597
VALID FROM 01MAY16 TILL 15JUN16 & 01JUL16 TILL 30SEP16
11 days ABU DHABI, BANGKOK & PHUKET WITH PHI PHI ISLAND
R13 797
10 days BANGKOK, PATTAYA & YANGON BURMA
R13 897
VALID FROM 14APR 30SEP16
includes: airfare, accommodation & breakfast
9 days DELHI, AGRA, JAIPUR & ABU DHABI
Includes: airfare, accommodation, breakfast, transfers in India with
sightseeing enroute
R14 197
VALID FROM 01APR16 TILL 15JUN16 & 01JUL16 TILL 30SEP16
8 days ZANZIBAR - ALL INCLUSIVE JULY SPECIAL
R14 697
10 days ABU DHABI, BANGKOK, HANOI & HALONG BAY
R15 897
R15 997
VALID FROM 01MAY 30SEP16
includes: airfare, accommodation & breakfast
9 days ABU DHABI, KUALA LUMPUR & SINGAPORE
R16 197
R16 397
VALID FROM TILL 30APR
Includes: accommodation, breakfast, fully guided sightseeing tours, transfers, entrance fees
13 days PHUKET, KOH SAMUI, BANGKOK & ABU DHABI
R17 197
VALID FROM 01APR16 TILL 15JUN16 & 01JUL16 TILL 30SEP16
13 days BANGKOK, PATTAYA, SINGAPORE & KUALA LUMPUR
includes: airfare, accommodation, breakfast, transfers & KL city tour
24 MARCH - 24 APRIL
7 days SHIRAZ, ISFAHAN & TEHRAN (IRAN)
Includes: airfare, accommodation & breakfast
7 days MALDIVES & ABU DHABI
Includes: airfare, accommodation & breakfast
YOURSELF
VALID FOR JULY ONLY
Includes: airfare, accommodation, breakfast, lunch and dinner.
REWARD
R19 997
VALID FROM 01MAY TO 15JUN16 & 10JUL TO 31OCT16
*All prices are per person ex JNB & include estimated taxes.
subject to availability & increase without prior notice
seasonal surcharges & terms & conditions apply
READERS’ WORLD
March 27 2016
ORANGE IS THE NEW
BOND: A group on the
Orange River
felixunite.com
T
We sat on lilos under a
beach umbrella in the
middle of the river to
eat lunch out of the sun
We were all expecting to be
woken up at 5am so we could start
paddling in the cool of the morning
and avoid most of the brutal
Namibian heat.
To our surprise we had breakfast
at 7am, casually packed our things
and only started paddling at 10am. It
seemed like utter madness to us and
we all thought our guides were crazy
to make us paddle in the middle of
the day. Only when we stopped for
lunch did we realise that our 48°C
on the canoes was nothing
The sisterhood of the
travelling paddles
A canoe trip makes for some rapid bonding
for high-school girls. By Erin Crossman
compared to the 50°C plus on the
river banks.
If anyone had looked down the
river, they would have seen six girls
sitting on lilos, huddled under a
beach umbrella and eating their
lunch in the middle of the river. This
become our normal lunchtime
reprieve from the sun.
Our guides constantly urged us to
use sunscreen. “You don’t tan, you
fry,” was the repeated phrase when
anybody brought up the idea of
going without coverage for the sake
of the ultimate tan. Some, such as
me, who go red in the presence of a
lightbulb, took the advice to heart
and regularly applied sunscreen up
to 10 times an hour, while others
slept rather uncomfortably at night
with a lobster-red tinge to their
flesh.
The scenery was nothing like the
lush green of Hilton I was used to.
The river wound its way through
mountains that literally look “as old
as the hills”. As a geography student,
I was ever aware of the folds in the
mountains, towering over the flat of
the valley, which the river had, over
millions of years, carved. Nothing
grew on the mountains — they were
just mounds of rock that had been
sculpted by a giant’s hands. The only
green was the vegetation snaking
along the river. Paddling in between
with the mountains on either side, I
realised how small I really was in the
bigger picture.
The evenings were my favourite.
We would bath in the river and fall
asleep watching shooting stars.
There is nothing quite like sleeping
under the stars on the banks of a
river in a foreign country.
The biggest rapid we were to
encounter would meet us on the
morning of the third day. Before we
reached it, we climbed up to an old
mine and our guides showed us the
rough position of the rapid, where
the river narrows into a deep
channel of fast-flowing water. Going
through the rapid was an
■ Share your travel experiences
with us in ‘Readers’ World’. Send
your photos — at least 500KB —
and a story of no more than 800
words. ALL winners receive
R1 000. Only winning entrants will
be contacted. E-mail
[email protected]
www.gatewaytours.co.za
VICTORIA FALLS • HWANGE
THE KINGDOM HOTEL
3 days, 2 nights from R5 990
3 NIGHTS VICTORIA FALLS,
2 NIGHTS HWANGE SAFARI LODGE
Rates valid until 01 June 2016.
Price Includes: Return Flights ex JNB Return
Airport Transfers 4 Accommodation
Breakfast Daily
ZANZIBAR - SPICE ISLAND
NGALAWA BEACH VILLAGE
BED & BREAKFAST
5 days, 4 nights from R 7 690
FULL BOARD, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER
CORAL ROCK BUNGALOWS
BED & BREAKFAST
FACTS
ABOUT
THE
ORANGE
RIVER
LENGTH:
Approximately
2 200km
SOURCE:
Thaba Putsoa,
Maloti, and
Drakensberg
Mountains
MOUTH:
Alexander Bay,
South Africa,
Atlantic Ocean
FLOWS:
West
COUNTRIES:
Lesotho, South
Africa, Namibia
OTHER
NAMES:
Oranjerivier,
Gariep River,
Groote River,
Senqu River
exhilarating rush with much
screaming and shouting, but once
we’d made it through, although a
little wet, we all had a sense of
accomplishment and felt we could
do anything.
The other paddling days were
spent with much laughter and fun.
Too soon, we were waking at 4.30am
to begin our long drive back to Cape
Town. Not that I remember much of
the journey as I was fast asleep on
the shoulder of a girl, who, five days
before, had been a stranger. — ©
Erin Crossman
FULL BOARD, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER
Rate surcharge applicable over peak periods &
long weekends. Rates valid until 30 June 2016.
Price Includes: Return Flights ex JNB Taxes
Return airport transfers Accommodation
with meals as specified
FASCINATING VIETNAM
SAIGON
7 days from R12 990
SAIGON, DA NANG,
HOI AN, HANOI
49
R3
13 days from R23 990
DEPARTURES 16 May, 27 Jun, 4 Jul, 8 Aug,
5 Sep, 17 Oct, 14 Nov, 19 Dec
Includes: Return flights ex JNB Airport taxes
Transfers Hotel accommodation
Breakfasts Sightseeing
DISCOVER CHINA
BEIJING, GREAT WALL
8 days from R15 990
49
R1
BEIJING, XI’AN, SHANGHAI
12 days from R25 990
DEPARTURES 16 May, 13, 27 Jun, 4 Jul, 1 Aug,
5 Sep, 3, 17 Oct, 14 Nov, 5, 12, 19, 26 Dec, 2, 9 Jan
Includes: Return flights ex JNB and Taxes
Transfers 4 & 5 Hotel accommodation
Breakfasts & select lunches Sightseeing
© Source:
doitinafrica.com
Prices are per person sharing. Travel offers are subject to availability,
high/shoulder season price adjustments, currency and airport tax
variations at the time of booking.
@
0860 43 8292
[email protected]
TRAVEL & TOURS
3685369
HERE is something almost
hypnotising about watching
the landscape through a
bus window, especially
when the vegetation decreases in
size from trees to long grasses to
nothing higher than 30cm and
finally nothing but sand and rocks,
as the landscape between Cape
Town and Namibia typically does.
Twenty teenage girls from St Anne’s,
St Mary’s and Epworth and I, along
with our teachers, had been awake
since 4.30am that day and had been
on a bus for 10 hours. We just
wanted to be in Namibia. Our
destination was Felix Unite base
camp, 10 minutes on the other side
of the Namibian border. Our plan
was to paddle 68km in five days
down the Orange River.
I did not know many of my
travelling companions as I was the
only one in my grade from St
Anne’s. I was also the youngest as
the other seven girls were a grade
above me. But the thing with a
two-hour flight followed by a 10hour bus trip with your phone
battery slowly dying, then waiting at
the border post at 11pm, listening to
a man play the harmonica, is that
you soon know everything about
everybody and are friends for life (or
for the trip, at least).
37
READERS’ COMPETITION
38
March 27 2016
WHERE
IN THE
WORLD?
The famous “La Trochita”
narrow-gauge steam train
rattles over a classic steeltruss bridge spanning the
Chico River as it hurries
north. Travel writer Paul
Theroux called the train “the
Old Patagonian Express” — a
name which has stuck —
when he rode it in the 1970s.
Today a short section of the
line is still in use for tourist
trains.
To stand a chance of winning
R500, tell us the name of the
country in which the
“Express” runs (the flags on
the locomotive are a clue).
Send your answer (ONE
entry per person) with your
name and address to
[email protected].
Entries close at noon on
Tuesday March 29.
■ Last week’s winner was
Doreen Pearcy of Somerset
West. The correct answer was
Bucharest.
JUAN MACRI/WIKIMEDIA COMMONS
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Sunday Times
BOTANICAL PRINTS SPLURGE
MEET SARA TRICKETT
home
NANDO’S LIGHTING AWARDS COSY UP
PAGE 42
MARCH 27 2016
{ HOME }
PRINT
SPLURGE
Ed’s letter
As we end our love affair with all
things botanic, we make sure it’s on
a high note. We meet Sara Trickett
of Saint Verde Botanicals, introduce
you to some of SA’s young design
talent with the Nando’s lighting
award nominees, and inspire you
with Kirsten Beets’s paintings of
people in natural urban spaces. We
also indulge in some of the latest
and most sought-after prints.
The intense colour and
vivid detail of these
botanical prints create an
indulgently perfect accent
piece for any room
Next we’re onto all things
design, with accents of autumn
in between …
ED’S CHOICE
1
1. B105 Sao Tome Colour
01, R2 127.47/m by Barbara
& Osario at tandco.co.za
2. Tudor low cupboard in
green fabric by Kiki van Eijk
& Joost van Bleiswijk
R82 413, moooi.com
3. Beetle chair in Pierre Frey
palm print R32 323, Gubi at
cremadesign.co.za
HANG IN THERE
One of the best-looking hanging
planters around right now is the
Aldus, made by the creative
geniuses at Ceramic Factory.
R749, ceramicfactory.co.za
SOFT SPOT
Woolworths always delivers with
their beautiful homeware
collection, especially their latest
instalment of green accents, seen
here in this Moroccan print
cushion, R275, woolworths.com
2
3
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Prices advertised are applicable within South Africa only. Instalment prices displayed include VAT, interest, compulsory insurance, monthly service
fee and once off initiation fee, but exclude optional insurance and delivery charges. No deposit and terms subject to credit approval. All credit
applications are subject to a credit check and affordability assessment. Deposit may have to be paid. Monthly instalments may vary with No Deposit.
Provide your ID, latest 3 months salary advice and monthly expense details to ensure rapid response to your credit application. Pre-approved
credit subject to credit checks. SMS costs R1. Standard terms and conditions apply. Find any item cheaper at any other retailer, provide a current
catalogue or a quote and we will refund the difference plus 5% of the difference. This offer excludes Store openings, clearance or limited quantity
offers. All products indicated in litres are in nett value. Products can be purchased from all branches, but due to our vast range, some products
may not necessarily be on display in all Stores. Should a mistake occur or incomplete information is printed, we will display a notice in-store with
all the correct details. Shoprite Checkers ĠPty) Ltd t/a House & Home is an authorised łnancial services provider and Shoprite Investment Ltd is
an authorised credit provider. Quantities may be limited at our discretion. No dealers allowed. Proud to be NCA compliant. (NCRCP6050)E+OE
V A L I D
F R O M
2 7
M A R C H
T O
1 0
A P R I L
2 0 1 6
{ HOME }
MARCH 27 2016
MICHELLE REYNOLDS
PAGE 44
WE MEET SARA TRICKETT
— Compiled by Leana Schoeman
Tell us a bit about yourself
I am a partner in Saint Verde Botanicals,
a family-run business which has recently
opened in Station Drive Precinct. We sell
succulents, indoor plants, rare and
unusual plants and a selection of pots
and planters.
Why plants?
My family has had a passion for plants
and gardening for as long as I can
remember. We are a family of collectors
— and plants are no different. Nothing
beats the thrill of discovering something
rare and unusual.
Your top three indoor plants?
Plants don’t really like living indoors so
you have to choose the right plant for
the right spot and the choices are more
limited than people realise. I would
recommend Zamioculcas zamiifolia,
Scindapsus and Davallia fejeensis, if you
can find it.
All-time favourite plant, and why?
I love all kinds of foliage anthuriums
because they have exquisite leaf
structure, texture and colour. They are
not sold commercially so they are fun to
collect. My favourite variety is the
Anthurium clarinervium. I also love
unusual varieties of staghorn fern, like
the Platycerium ridleyi.
Your typical day?
I start the day in the shop watering,
misting and checking for pests and
disease. Then I go to nurseries to source
interesting plants or spend time repotting
and re-merchandising.
Your favourite places or spaces?
I love The Oyster Box Hotel and the
Makaranga Garden Lodge in Kloof. I also
love the lawns around the reservoir at
the top of the Durban Botanical Gardens.
Who inspires you?
Perfectionists and people who are brave
enough to not only think big but to act
on it regardless of the constant
challenges life throws at them.
What are you listening to right now?
I love listening to podcasts and am
enjoying ‘Sawbones: A Marital Tour of
Misguided Medicine’.
Favourite movie set?
Hands down ‘The Grand Budapest Hotel’.
Secret to becoming a green finger?
Research (google everything), trial and
error — and patience. Remember that
plants need natural light to grow. They
cannot live in offices or rooms that are lit
artificially. Well-fed plants with clean
leaves are far less likely to get pests or
suffer from diseases. Succulents are not
bulletproof plants; they generally need at
least four hours of full sun a day or their
health will suffer and they will become
irreversibly leggy.
Favourite shade of green?
Chartreuse.
Your comfort food of choice?
Slap chips from Afros.
What’s on your coffee table?
My exhausted feet at the end of a long
day!
VALID FROM 27 MARCH TO 2 APRIL 2016
EVERYTHING PRICED TO GO!
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GALAXY TREND PLUS
CELLPHONE
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to the purchase of
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Subject to
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and In-Store
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WAS
6499
3499*
4999*
DEP 350 • 227 X 30 MNTHS
TOTAL 6810
AT 22.85% INTEREST
STOCKS ARE LIMITED! NEVER TO BE
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WAS NOW SAVE
CELLPHONES
GALAXY TAB 4
TABLET
• 7” Touchscreen
• 8GB Internal
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2999
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INCLUDE FREE
• 10 Free SMS’s
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TOTAL 9180
AT 22.85% INTEREST
SAVE
1000
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TABLET
MTN OFFERS
INCLUDE FREE
• Access4life
• Number 4life
• Access to ME2
• 5 x Free Call Back Daily
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PACK
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TOTAL 9180
AT 22.85% INTEREST
• 8MP Camera
• 25 Hour Battery
Life • 16GB Internal
Memory • Colour
May Vary to Picture
• 5” Touchscreen • 16GB
Internal Memory • Wi-Fi
• Bluetooth • 13MP Camera
(8MP Front Camera)
• Quad Core 1.8Ghz Processor
• Android V4.4.2 Kitkat OS
• FM Radio • Colour May
Vary to Picture
WAS
4799
• 2.5Ghz Quad-Core Processor • 16MP Camera
Android V4.4.2 Kitkat OS
• Wi-Fi • Bluetooth • Colour
May Vary to Picture
DEP 100 • 94 X 30 MNTHS
TOTAL 2820
AT 22.85% INTEREST
SAVE
700
*Advertised price
includes a free
MTN Starter Pack
and is subject to
the purchase of
a mandatory R29
Airtime Voucher.
Subject to
mandatory FREE
RICA Registration
and In-Store
activation.
GALAXY S5
CELLPHONE
• 8GB Internal
Memory • Wi-Fi
• Bluetooth • 3.15MP
Camera • Colour
May Vary to Picture
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4499
2499*
DEP 250 • 174 X 30 MNTHS
TOTAL 5220
AT 22.85% INTEREST
3499*
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TOTAL 6810
AT 22.85% INTEREST
ONCE OFF DEALS!
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• Intel Celeron G465 Processor
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H&H Cr8if Dept. 2030HH
STORES NATIONWIDE - FOR YOUR NEAREST STORE, PLEASE CONTACT OUR CUSTOMER CARE LINE ON 0861 00 88 61
Prices advertised are applicable within South Africa only. Instalment prices displayed include VAT, interest, compulsory insurance, monthly service fee and once off initiation
fee, but exclude optional insurance and delivery charges. No deposit and terms subject to credit approval. All credit applications are subject to a credit check and affordability
assessment. Deposit may have to be paid. Monthly instalments may vary with No Deposit. Provide your ID, 3 months pay slips and monthly expense details to ensure
rapid response to your credit application. Pre-approved credit subject to credit checks. SMS costs R1. Standard terms and conditions apply. Find any item cheaper at any
other retailer, provide a current catalogue or a quote and we will refund the difference plus 5% of the difference. This offer excludes Store openings, clearance or limited quantity
offers. Purchase of Starter Packs and Sim Cards are subject to the original ID and Proof of Residence information being presented in-Store. MTN & Vodacom conditions
apply. Customers purchasing TV Sets must produce both their TV Licence and their ID Books for verifications purposes as set out by Government Legislation. All products
indicated in litres are in nett value. For all your fitted carpet and free quotation requirements, contact our fitted carpet call centre on 0861 11 32 13. Products can be purchased
from all branches, but due to our vast range, some products may not necessarily be on display in all Stores. Should a mistake occur or incomplete information be printed, we
will display a notice in-store with all the correct details. Accessories optional extras. Shoprite Checkers (Pty) Ltd t/a House & Home is an authorised financial services provider
and Shoprite Investment Ltd is an authorised credit provider. Quantities may be limited at our discretion. No dealers allowed. Proud to be NCA compliant. (NCRCP6050)E+OE
V A L I D
F R O M
2 7
M A R C H
T O
2
A P R I L
2 0 1 6
PAGE 46
MARCH 27 2016
Imbewu Pod by Etienne du Plooy
Beaded Necklace by Candice Lawrence
Mbali by Lara Hooper
Woven Necklace Candice Lawrence
Can Beam by Tulsha Booysen
Weaver’s Nest by Yesheen Singh
{ HOME }
BRIGHT
DESIGNS
Young designers step into the spotlight, writes Mika Julius
A
FTER a year-long nationwide
search for the ultimate Hot
Young Designer, Nandos has
narrowed down the spotlight to
two winners. From a massive 260 entrants,
seven finalists were chosen and the first
prize was shared between Samantha
Foaden and Thabisa Mjo.
Intrigued by the circles that make up
bracelets and necklaces, Foaden’s “Buhle
Bulb” was inspired by jewellery. With
contrasting beads, scooby wire and weaving
adding a uniquely South African touch, the
minimalist design is sleek and versatile.
Mjo named her design “Tutu 2.0”
and her inspiration came from two things:
tutus and her Tsonga partner. While trying
to learn things about his culture, Mjo
discovered the Xibelani skirt, which is
worn by Tsonga women to celebrate their
culture. The skirt reminded her of a
tutu. Her second design, “Skyline”, was
based on her attraction to what the Jozi
lifestyle offered her when she was in the
Eastern Cape — the bright lights,
skyscrapers and urban buzz.
The other five finalists displayed a
refreshing mix of innovation and African
authenticity. Candice Lawrence utilised a
fusion of wooden structures, colourful wax
thread and beads to create a range of
African delights. Lara Hooper used beads
for her visual imitation of a flower; Yesheen
Singh was inspired by a weaver’s nest and
created porcelain and paper versions of his
light; Etienne du Plooy used beads and
birch ply for his design, which showed a
pod gradually opening to reveal seeds, and
Tulsha Booysen’s Can Beam recycled softdrink cans as building blocks.
MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 47
{ HOME }
and the winners are ...
<< TUTU 2.0
by Thabisa Mjo
‘THIS LIGHT IS
HANDCRAFTED
AND WOVEN
LOCALLY
BY WOMEN
AND MEN
IN JOBURG’
BUHLE BULB >>
by Samantha Foaden
‘HARD WORK,
AND AN
AMAZING
COLLABORATION
WITH A LOCAL
CRAFTSMAN,
RESULTED IN
THIS LIGHT’
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FOR MORE DIY ADVICE AND INSPIRATION VISIT WWW.SHAVEPAINTS.CO.ZA
MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 49
{ HOME }
COSY UP
With autumn coolness on
the way, it’s time to invest
in a few textured pieces to
add warmth to your
outdoor or indoor space
4
2
1
3
1 Hand-woven baskets in small R495, medium R1 095
and large R1 295 from shf.co.za
2 Retro rattan chair R1 950, tradesecret.co.za
3 Cast-iron teapot R395, weylandts.co.za
4 Candleholder POA, Kettal at marlanteak.com
5 Tassel knit throw R499, woolworths.co.za
5
REWARD
YOURSELF
24 MARCH - 24 APRIL
PAGE 50
MARCH 27 2016
{ HOME }
Ghosts, 2014. Oil paint on paper. 820 x 300mm
MEET THE MAKER KIRSTEN BEETS
“I think of my paintings as fragments of
memory captured in a tangible form,” says
artist Kirsten Beets, who lives and works in
Cape Town. Her work explores the shifting
human interaction within the natural world.
I am inspired by the changing seasons.
Everything is starting to go gold or die down
for winter. It’s sort of an all-or-nothing time
of year. There are still long days of sunshine
but the nights are coming earlier. People
start to interact with the outside environment
differently and those changes inspire me.
I always come back to oil paint. When I was
young, it was what I thought “proper” artists
painted with. Of course, that’s all nonsense.
Artists can use whatever they want, but when
I started painting at school I “graduated” to
oils and I was pretty happy. It felt like I had
reached some sort of milestone.
One of the challenges of being an artist is
that you feel you have to explain your life
choices. I guess the most important question
has to be “Is there anything else you would
rather be doing?” and if the answer is “No”,
then you’ll be okay. Staying inspired is also a
challenge and self-discipline is hard. There is
— Compiled by Leana Schoeman
also the emotional toll of connecting to your
work. It is a bit like putting your “heart” on
the wall and hoping that people like it.
My typical day … get up. Drink tea. Answer
e-mails. Work. Tea break. Work. Nap. Walk
dog. Run. Eat. Work. Sleep. Repeat.
I love the smell of proteas at Kirstenbosch.
It’s a combination of sea breeze, fynbos and
mountain that makes me feel at home.
My best time of the day is between midnight
and 2am. I’m an unrepentant night owl.
My next show is Paper is You III, a group
show at Salon 91, Kloof Street, from April 29.
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food
Sunday Times
HEALTHY CHOCOLATE RECIPES
UP TO
SWISS CHOCOLATE FACTORY VISIT FAMILY-FRIENDLY FEAST
50%
OFF
Shop online at boardmans.co.za
Terms and conditions apply. Offer valid only on selected regular priced merchandise and excludes products on promotion. While stocks last.
PAGE 54
MARCH 27 2016
{ FOOD }
Don’t cheat yourself
this Easter Sunday:
these dark chocolate
delights are rich in
antioxidants, light on
sugar and dairy, gluten
free and delicious!
THE
DARK
SECRET
DAIRY-FREE
CHOCOLATE ICE
CREAM
MAKES 6 BALLS EASY 2 HRS 30
MINS (inc freezing time)
Rich and creamy, this ice cream
is made with dark chocolate,
avocados and frozen banana so
it is almost sugar-free as well.
Recipes and styling:
Callie Maritz and Mari-Louis Guy
Photographs: Paul Bransby
2 x 100g slabs dark 78%
chocolate
2 frozen bananas, freeze
not-too-soft bananas with
their skin on
2 avocados, about 250g
Soften the chocolate by
placing it in a warm sunny
spot. Remove the bananas
from the freezer just before
using. Dip into hot water for
a few seconds then peel and
slice into rings. Cut the
avocados in half, remove the
pips and scoop the flesh
into a food processor. Add
the chocolate and blitz until
smooth and combined. Add
frozen banana slices. Blitz
and pour into a medium
bread pan. Freeze for at
least 2 hours, preferably
overnight.
MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 55
{ FOOD }
BEAN
TO BAR
Carlos Amato took a tour of the Frey
chocolate factory, and survived
HOCOLATIERS abuse the word
“enrobe”. I understand why
when we step off the train at
Buchs station. It’s a frigid
morning in this industrial Swiss town, but
a soft olfactory warmth saturates it: a
municipal fragrance of sugared cocoa
butter. It enrobes the inside of my skull.
My brain morphs into a bon-bon.
Just up the road is the town’s real-life
chocolate factory, and we’re going inside it.
Our party are media guests of Chocolate
Frey — the most popular brand in
Switzerland, with a growing presence on
South African shelves and tongues.
They’re going to show us the robes.
As we approach the factory gates, I
consider Roald Dahl’s fable of chocolate as
a cruel examiner of
character. Will I fail the test
of industrial-scale
confectionery, like Augustus
Gloop, whose gluttony got
him slurped to his death by
a Dickensian pipe? Will I be
deemed a “bad nut” and
trashed by worker squirrels,
like Veruca Salt? My fellow
travellers are all lovely
people, Charlie Bucket types,
so I must behave. It wouldn’t
be stylish to die in Switzerland.
But before any perilous rivers of
chocolate are revealed, we are briefed on
the story of Frey. The company sources
most of its cocoa beans from Ivory Coast
and Ghana, and all are produced under
UTZ certification, which demands ILO
labour standards and sustainable farming
practices. If all the Frey tablets produced
last year were laid out end to end, they
would span 29 000km and weigh as much
as four Eiffel Towers. The whole lot are
crafted right here in Buchs.
C
ON OUR COVER
CHOCOLATE BARK
SERVES 12 EASY 60 MINS
No recipe, no rules!! Chocolate bark can
come in any shape, colour and flavour
and is the easiest way to wow your guests.
400g dark chocolate (we used
Frey 78% Extra Dark Bittersweet),
roughly chopped
200g toppings — we used chia seeds,
toasted coconut, pomegranate arils,
pistachios, almonds, pecans, goji
berries, raspberries and dried chillies
Method 1: Set a double-boiler over
low heat. Add the chocolate to the
top of the double boiler and allow it
to start melting. Remove the double
boiler from the stove and let the
residual heat do the rest. Gently stir
with a rubber spatula until smooth.
Method 2: Place ¾ of the chocolate
in a dry glass bowl. Microwave on 50%
power for 30 seconds. Slowly stir with
a rubber spatula. Microwave again in
30 second bursts until melted and
smooth. Add the remaining chocolate,
let stand for a minute and stir until
smooth. Spoon or pour the chocolate
onto baking paper into rounds or use
a spatula to shape as desired, and
decorate to your heart’s content.
Allow to set for about 4 hours.
Tips:
Water: Chocolate does not like water,
so ensure that the vessel you use to
melt it in is super dry.
Heat: If your chocolate gets too hot in
the melting process it might bloom,
which is those white spots that appear
as the cocoa butter separates from
the cocoa solids. Bloom might also
form if the chocolate gets too cold or
is refrigerated uncovered. If you store
the bark in the fridge, wrap tightly in
wax paper, then kitchen towel, before
placing in an airtight container.
GLUTEN-FREE
CHOCOLATE
RASPBERRY SWIRL
CAKE
SERVES 8-10 EASY 90 MINS
1 x 250g tub of cream cheese
130g (2/3 cup) sugar or zylitol (or leave
it out and rely on the sweetness from
the berries)
4 eggs
5ml (1 tsp) vanilla essence
1 x 250g punnet fresh raspberries
150g cold butter
300g dark chocolate, roughly
chopped
70g (1/3 cup) sugar or zylitol, extra
15ml (1 tbsp) espresso coffee
Pinch of salt
Cocoa powder for dusting
Preheat oven to 150°C. Grease and line
a 23cm spring-form cake pan. In the
bowl of an electric mixer, using the
paddle attachment, beat the cream
cheese, sugar, 1 egg, vanilla essence and
half the raspberries together. Set aside.
In the top of a double boiler, melt the
butter and chocolate together until
smooth. Set aside. In a clean bowl of
the electric mixer, using the whisk
attachment, whisk the remaining eggs,
extra sugar, espresso and salt together
until thick and pale in colour. Gradually
add the chocolate mixture and continue
to whisk. Pour the batter into the cake
pan. Spoon the cream cheese mixture
on top and, with a butter knife, swirl it
into the mixture to create a marbled
effect. Bake for 45 minutes or until the
cake springs back when lightly pressed.
Allow to cool in the pan before turning
out. Decorate with the remaining
raspberries and cocoa powder.
Tip:
For a peppermint crisp flavour, chop
up a small handful of fresh mint and
add it into the cream cheese.
Inside, we spy no Oompa-Loompas or
unionised squirrels — and very few
human beings. The factory is a serene
labyrinth of tanks, pipelines, computer
monitors, steampunkish panels of dials
and valves and retro buttons. Its halls hum
a gentle symphony: countless tons of
cocoa beans being cleaned, nibbed, dried,
ground, conched, milked, sugared,
moulded and packaged.
Our guide is the production manager,
name of Beat Glarner. He’s a skinny,
excitable man — a sane sort of Wonka —
who beams when he talks tech. “The nut
separator processes one million hazelnuts
per hour,” he says. “They all fall one by
one past a camera, and the computer
analyses all the images to instantly find
each discoloured nut — and it
then cues a jet of air pressure
to blow it away!” The
imperfect nuts are condemned
to be pulverised into praline
fillings; the perfect ones are
approved for enrobing in bars.
Glarner lets us nibble on
some cocoa nibs — fragments
of a bean. They are earthy,
bitter, in desperate need of a
little sugar: the original taste
of chocolate as savoured by
the Aztecs, who taxed cocoa beans from
vassal states. (The conquistadors reported
that 100 beans could buy you a canoe
filled with fresh water, or a turkey.)
After the nibs have been roasted and
then ground to a powdery consistency,
sugar is added, along with milk powder if
the recipe requires it. Next, the vital
process of conching begins: through hours
of steady churning, the cocoa is refined to
the silken smoothness and subtle flavour
that all good chocolate needs.
What exactly happens during conching
is still a bit mysterious to food scientists,
but the smoothing effect is down to the
fine dispersal of cocoa butter into cocoa
mass, while the flavour is refined by
friction, oxidation and the release
of volatile oils and acids. It
happens in a vat called a
conch (Rudolf Lindt’s
19th-century original
was shell-shaped).
Chocolate brands tend
to be cagey about
their conching
processes, which take
between six and 78 hours.
At last, we tour the
moulding lines,
where Frey’s
Amazon of liquid
pleasure divides
into an automated
delta, flowing into
endless ranks of tablet
trays, enrobing finger biscuits,
coating praline balls.
Glarner invites us to taste
whatever we want. I want
to eat an Eiffel Tower’s
worth. In my lifetime,
I probably will.
Will I fail
the test
and meet
the fate of
Augustus
Gloop?
PAGE 56
MARCH 27 2016
{ FOOD }
THE RESTAURANT
GRILL
HILLS
■
I am loathe to buy ready-made hot
cross buns because I believe they
should be homemade, but do you have an
easy recipe, without yeast? — Anne-Marie,
Umhlanga Rocks
THE BIG RED BARN
Save your sanity, fill your tummy and go home tired, writes Shanthini Naidoo
HOT CROSS MUFFINS
■
Tip of
the week
Crying over spilt milk — or juice? The
best way to pour milk or fruit juice from
a tetra pack (the rectangular-shaped
carton) is to pour with the opening at
the opposite end of the vessel to be
filled. This way there’s no spill or
wastage and it works every time.
WIN
A HAMPER OF
CHOCOLATE
RAYMOND PRESTON
In a large mixing bowl combine 240g
(2 cups) flour with 15ml (1 tbsp) baking
powder, a pinch of salt, 60ml (4 tbsp) brown
sugar, 7,5ml (1 1/2 tsp) each of ground
cinnamon and mixed spice, and a pinch of
ground cloves. Stir in 180ml (2/3 cup) mixed
dried cake fruit. Combine 60ml (4tbsp)
melted butter, 250ml (1 cup) buttermilk and
1 extra-large egg. Add to the dry ingredients
and mix using a round-bladed knife. Don’t
overmix. Divide the mixture between 12
muffin pans lined with paper cases and bake
at 200°C for 20 minutes. Remove from the
oven, cool in the
pan for 5 minutes
then brush with
runny honey. Melt
80g white chocolate
and 15ml (1tbsp)
cream together and
use to pipe crosses
over the muffins.
Makes 12
DELICIOUS ON THE FARM: Homemade treats and funky crafts greet you on arrival
Y
OU know what will save your
sanity from screaming children
these holidays? Get them
outdoors, listen to their squeals
of delight as they adventure away, stir up
a big appetite and bring on a long, long
nap. We drove just off the beaten track to
Sunlawns farm in Centurion, where a
wonderful place called The Big Red Barn
peeps out of a forest. It is a designed to
keep parents sane, children happily
occupied, and everyone well fed.
There is Acrobranch ziplining, 36km of
cycle track through acres of eucalyptus
and, get this, a pirate ship. The working
farm which grows berries, salad leaves,
vegetables and organic herbs, has been in
the Cullinan family since 1906. Two
restaurants now operate from the farm,
Olifants Cafe and the Clay Café.
We tested bravery and strength at
Acrobranch, R80 for a two-hour slot in a
kids or teens section. The staff can deliver
“freakshakes” or drinks while you watch
the friendly guides swing the children
under shady trees. My freakshake was
enough for a meal — a flaked almond and
chocolate milkshake with layers of
chocolate vermicelli, whipped cream in a
wafer cone and a flake.
For the rest, lunch was at the restaurant
designed out of an antique hay barn,
transported to the farm in pieces by a
tractor and trailer. It’s minimalist and airy,
decorated with carved wooden animals,
woven bean bags and a quaint collection
of old-fashioned ball and claw furniture.
The dessert table at the entrance
tempts with homemade cakes. But first
pass by the clay oven which creates pizzas
(around R80) with crispy thin bases, and
the grill for craft burgers and pulled meat
sandwiches (from R65). To avoid long
waiting times get your order in quickly.
Their 200g beef burgers are given a range
of treatments, like the Forest Floor with
button mushroom, caramelised onion,
rosemary aioli and rocket (R68). The
Naked Bleet was a moist feta and lamb
burger, served with tzatziki and heaps of
wild rocket (R85).
While our chicken prego (R68) was not
spicy as promised, the shredded lamb
ciabatta was tasty; tender lamb, served
with haloumi and a colourful side salad of
beetroot, peppers, microherbs and/or
chips (R95). A stolen piece of the kiddies
pizza revealed moist chicken on a perfect
margherita base (R32). The hungry
adventurer gobbled it up.
If you start early, there are waffles and
breakfasts. For snacking between rides,
teenager sustenance in the form of Barn
chips — a huge pile of starch with garlic
mayo, tomato sauce and red onion (R24).
It lives up to their promise: “At the end of
the day your feet should be dirty, your
hair messy and your eyes sparkling.”
THE LOWDOWN
Vibe: Farm-friendly.
Price: R100 a head.
What to wear: Jeans and takkies, or
dress up if you are observing.
Who will like it? Families on school
holidays and budding adventurers.
Hot tips: Give yourself two hours
before lunch to complete the
Acrobranch slot.
SCORECARD (OUT OF 5)
Food: 4
Ambience: 5
Service: 3
Value for money: 5
Total: 17/20
7 Nelson Rd, Sunlawns AH,
Olifantsfontein (accessible from the
R21 & the N1). Tuesday to Sunday (and
all the holidays) from 8am to 4.30pm.
Call 072 6177667 or 078 3436939
THIS WEEK
we’re loving...
Frey, the makers of quality Swiss chocolate,
are giving away two hampers worth R500
each. To stand a chance of winning, answer
this question: Which country is the world’s
leading producer of cocoa beans? Send
your answer to [email protected]
with CHOCOLATE in the subject line.
Include your name, address and contact
details. Only ONE entry per person. Closing
date is Tuesday March 29 at noon.
Egg cups. Remember
them? Add an extra
dollop of sunshine to
nature’s humble hero,
the egg, served boiled in
the Soleil egg cup.
Available from Le Creuset
boutique stores or online
at www.lecreuset.co.za
for R100. Deliveries
free countrywide.
HOW TO BOIL AN EGG
To cook the perfect soft-boiled egg —
whites just set and a soft yolk — bring
a pan of water to the boil, add a pinch
of salt and using a large slotted spoon
gently lower the egg into the water.
For a large egg boil for 4 minutes and
extra large 4½ minutes. As soon as the
time is up, take the pot to the sink,
pour off the boiling water and refresh
with cold water to stop the cooking.
Sunday Times
MOTORING: SUZUKI VITARA
review
BOOKS: YANN MARTEL
STARS
WORDS
It has a lot going
for it, as long as
the going doesn’t
get tough. By
Thomas Falkiner
T
HE Suzuki Vitara wore
fire-engine red paint with
a contrasting black roof. It
looked mean. It looked authoritative. Almost like a smaller,
sharper version of the Toyota FJ
Cruiser. I looked forward to driving
it once my RS3 had been returned
to Audi. Lord knows, we can’t
spend our lives piloting only
200kW+ performance cars. Familiarity breeds contempt and nobody
likes a jaded motoring hack. But
back to the story. When I did get
behind the wheel of this two-toned
curiosity I felt a bit confused. Let
me explain.
For as long as I have been writing
this column the Vitara nameplate
has pretty much been synonymous
with affordable bundu-bashing
goodness. For less money than
something with a snooty Land
Rover badge on its bonnet, this
slightly crude and sometimes
cheap-feeling Suzuki would hump
you over muddy hill and rocky dale
with incredible fervour. There was a
low-range transfer case and a differential-lock and software that
prevented you from freefalling uncontrollably down gnarly descents.
When attached to the Grand prefix
the Vitara was everything a mudloving, rock-slinging 4x4 fanboy
needed to get down and dirty across
the trails at the weekend.
I expected these genes in this latest Vitara. I expected to see switch-
Suzy, princess of the city
es and dials that, when engaged,
would make the thing go all mountain goat on me. But alas, there was
none. Instead my eyes were greeted
by an analogue clock (with
Japanese numerals — tres quirky)
and body-coloured accents jazzing
up both the dashboard and centre
console. There were comfortable
seats. There was Bluetooth and
cruise control and a USB port.
But absolutely nothing that suggested that this crimson crusader
could cope with anything beyond a
rural gravel road. You can choose to
equip Suzuki’s AllGrip all-wheel-
drive system, this is true, but then
the pricetag starts creeping ominously close to that of the more
rugged, far more capable Grand Vitara still on sale. So in subR300 000 2WD GL+ spec this machine is a faux-by-four of the highest order.
Although once you accept this,
and get to grips with the fact that
you’re not going to be pounding
any prairies anytime soon, this
Suzuki does impress. For starters
it’s jolly nice to drive. The ride is
smooth and well insulated from
bumps and corrugations. The han-
dling is pert and nimble and pointy
— almost like a Swift on stilts. The
lofty seating position allows you to
see over traffic and look down at
people next to you, which is a boon
in the city.
The 1.6 petrol engine will never
quench your desire for snappy acceleration but it is frugal and quiet
and, when eventually up to speed,
happy to cruise all day at triplefigure digits in conflict with the legal limit. Inside? Most of the plastic
looks and feels chintzy in the ageold Japanese budget tradition,
while the stereo is probably the
WE ARE
FAST FACTS: SUZUKI
VITARA 1.6 GL+
Engine: 1586cc four-cylinder
petrol
Power: 86kW at 6000rpm
Torque: 151Nm at 4400rpm
Transmission: Five-speed
manual
0-100km/h: 11.5 seconds
Top speed: 180km/h
(claimed)
Fuel: 6.2l/100km (achieved)
CO2: 136g/km
Price: From R282 900
worst sounding unit I’ve sampled
since the one in my Daihatsu
Materia.
But not even this can blight what
is an otherwise awesome package.
It’s spacious and practical and generously equipped. The customisable looks are fresh and stand out in
this otherwise bland segment. It
might be out of its depth in the
rough but within the tamer realms
of the urban jungle this Suzuki Vitara is king. LS@tomfalkiner111
PAGE 58
MARCH 27 2016
{ BOOKS }
book bites
The High Mountains of
Portugal ★★★★★
Yann Martel (Penguin Random
House, R295)
Book Fiend
I
T is early in the morning in
Saskatchewan when I reach
Yann Martel and there is an
almighty din in the background. Small folk are bellowing,
the noise in inverse relation to
their size. Martel apologises
breathlessly: “I have four children under the age of six.”
He flees to a quiet room and
begins to talk about his magnificent new novel The High Mountains of Portugal. Forty-five minutes later he has barely drawn
breath. His words come in a torrent, often damming up, jamming on a thought, an aside, before surging ahead in rapids of
exposition. Speciesism, the Old
Testament, Agatha Christie,
Ptolemaic astronomy and slavery
speed past, carried along on the
main themes of the
book: loss, suffering
and faith.
Martel presents the
novel in three disparate
parts, linking them
with repeat notes that
echo down generations
— a chimpanzee, a
dead child, a remote
village, a strange custom of walking backwards.
The first story, “Homeless” is
set in Lisbon in 1904. A young
academic, Tomás, is unmoored
by the deaths of his father, his
lover and his child in quick succession. “His heart became undone like a bursting cocoon.
Emerging from it came no butterfly but a grey moth that settled
on the wall of his soul and stirred
no further.” Tomás takes to walking backwards, his way of “objecting” to God, and then sets off
on a quest to the mythical high
mountains of Portugal to find a
centuries-old crucifix that he believes will shake the church, for
the Christ figure on the cross is
an ape.
In the second story, “Homeward”, a pathologist in a small
Portuguese town performs a surreal autopsy on the body of a man,
brought in by his wife. She wants
to know not how he died, but how
he lived, specifically how he lived
with the death long ago of their
young son. Inside his body the
pathologist finds a bear cub — the
nickname of their son — wrapped
in the arms of a chimpanzee, a
symbol of Jesus and the faith that
kept him going. Martel is a writer
of startling imagination, and no
more than in this scene where the
woman strips down and climbs
inside the body of her husband,
next to the animals. It is an arresting metaphor for love, for the
atavistic impulse to become one
with a lover.
‘The Divine Comedy’ by
Dante Alighieri. Not at all
the dusty old classic some
might imagine it to be. It’s
an astounding road trip
through hell, purgatory and
heaven, featuring an
amazing cast of characters.
I’d recommend the
translation by the American
poet John Ciardi.
The Death of Ivan Ilych by Leo
Tolstoy. The first book (of 101
that I finally sent him over the
course of four years) that I
sent the then Canadian prime
minister Stephen Harper, a
Warriors of the Storm
★★★★★
Bernard Cornwell
(HarperCollins, R310)
The ninth novel in the Last
Kingdom series is another
Cornwell special — bloodspraying, bone-splitting
10th-century mayhem, with
Norsemen, Saxons and Irish all at one
another’s throats, as “England” struggles
towards partial nationhood. Uhtred, now
grizzled with age and surlier, snarlier and
more iron-fisted than ever, dominates the
action. Several other more nuanced
characters appear (his daughter, two sons,
priests both nauseating and likeable, the
sharp-tongued queen of Mercia, some wild
Irishmen). The action never flags, place and
period are as vivid as ever and some
powerful descriptive passages give delight.
— David Pike @pikedavey
Book Buff
AT HOME: Yann Martel with one of his children
Picture: EMMA LOVE
Magic mountain
Yann Martel tries to reflect a truth that goes
beyond mere facts, writes Michele Magwood
“I loved writing that section,”
he says. “You have these basic,
naked human beings next to
each other, inside each other. It’s
humanity at its simplest and
strongest.”
Finally, in 1981, a Canadian senator is also unmoored by the
death of his wife. In his anguish
he walks away from his life,
adopts a chimpanzee and sets off
for Portugal to the village of his
ancestors, the village, of course, of
the first story, a place where funeral cortèges show respect by
walking backwards. In the story
— titled “Home” — the senator,
by shucking off the trappings of
his life and falling in with the
rhythm of the animal, becomes
somehow distilled. “He notices
the chimp is just lying around, in
a sense bathing in the river of
time, and he aspires to do this, to
just be in the present moment, be
in this state of grace with this animal. I think our relationship with
animals is kind of like a relationship with a god.”
Martel first explored the idea
of the animal as divine in the
Booker Prize-winning The Life of
Pi, about the odyssey of a tiger
and a young boy. The High Mountains of Portugal has a similar
heightened, fantastical tone and
luminous spirituality.
The author does not practise
any traditional religion and was
raised in a secular home. “My parents replaced Catholicism with art
— if we wanted to understand life
‘Our relationship
with animals is kind
of like a relationship
with a god’
we would read great novels, look
at great paintings, listen to great
music, and those are extraordinary tools for understanding the
human condition.”
A trip to India after university
changed that. “I realised that reason and rationality had become a
disease. It scours and scrapes
away at things and I felt that I
was drying up. I was equating
truth with factual truth.” Observ-
Martel’s best books
Knut Hamsun’s ‘Hunger’.
A mesmerising tale of a
starving man wandering the
streets of Kristiania (now
Oslo) in the late 19th
century. It opened my eyes
when I first read it.
Book Thrill
ing the Indian religions he embraced faith, what he calls magical thinking. “Magical thinking
is shared not only by religion but
by art, both are preoccupied with
a greater truth that goes beyond
factual truth.”
For Martel, religion is storytelling. “People who are too reasonable, who have no stories either religious or artful, are deeply
miserable people. Science isn’t
narrative, it can be reduced to formulas. But religion always tells
stories and it’s to do with our nature as a species. We take reality
and we weave it into a story,
whether it’s a novel or religion.
Both reread reality to get to a truth
that is more important to us.”
It is time to get on with his day.
Martel has no new novel in
progress. He is content for now to
just be with his children. “They’re
like four miniature Russian novels that I’m working on.”
A Song for Drowned
Souls ★★★★★
Bernard Minier (Hodder &
Stoughton, R300)
Minier’s French debut novel,
The Frozen Dead, was
exceptional — listed as one
of the best 50 crime novels
of the past five years. The
challenge then becomes to write an equally
successful sequel. Minier, however, has
triumphed with his second novel. While it is
a sequel, again featuring the introverted
Commandant Servaz of the Toulouse crime
squad and the escaped serial killer
Hirtmann, there is nothing predictable to
this superior thriller. Servaz has to delve
into his own messy past, opening grievous
old psychological wounds, to close the case.
And with Minier, closure is always a relative
concept. — William Saunderson-Meyer
@TheJaundicedEye
ý Listen to Yann Martel’s
interview on the Magwood
on Books podcast on
www.bookslive.co.za
Book Buff
The short stories of Franz Kafka.
Weird, wonderful, prophetic
(and also full of animals).
‘Disgrace’ by JM Coetzee.
My favourite living writer.
His writing is so plain yet
illuminating. How does he
do it? I keep asking myself
that question.
notable non-reader of books.
It’s a perfect example of the
power of literature. It’s the
simple tale of a man dying,
hardly 80 pages in length, yet
you can’t read it without being
both entertained and elevated.
Landfalls ★★★★★
Naomi J Williams
(Little, Brown, R335)
A far-reaching narration of
naval exploration in the late
18th century, this novel is
based on the true story of
Jean-Francois de Lapérouse
who captained a doomed
scientific expedition across the Pacific. It
tells the tale of human tragedy and emotion
in a unique retelling of history. Through a
variety of viewpoints, we are confronted
with the realities of 18th-century explorers
and their search for new worlds. Williams’s
treatment is honest and she has deftly
handled De Lapérouse’s story, reviving what
for some may have been lost to history.
— Gareth Langdon @gslangdon
Station Eleven by Emily St John
Mandel. There, something
contemporary. A really creepy
dystopian novel set in a nearfuture world in which a
devastating disease has wiped
out most of the planet.
• Minier will be at the Franschhoek
Literary Festival
SPQR – A History of
Ancient Rome ★★★★★
Mary Beard
(Profile Books, R626)
From the Roman cavalry’s
lack of stirrups to the
complex maneuverings in
the senate — Beard, one
of the world’s pre-eminent
scholars of the classical
world, knows her stuff.
It’s a long book that follows the evolution
of Roman politics from an early form of
democracy to the brutal autocracy of the
emperors — something South Africans
might want to ponder.
The author does not set out to glorify the
Romans, but at times she is a little too
caught up in the details of, say, provincial
taxation. A slightly more exciting look at
this fascinating subject would have served
her readers better. — Hamilton Wende
@HamiltonWende
MARCH 27 2016
{ BOOKS }
Books LIVE most viewed
Book now for the Franschhoek Literary
Festival
Jacket Notes
THULA SIMPSON
I
PAGE 59
The programme for the 10th Franschhoek
Literary Festival has been revealed. The
2016 festival, sponsored by Porcupine Ridge
and the Sunday Times, takes place on May
13-15. International authors to look forward
to include Irish writer Sara Baume, who
wrote Spill Simmer Falter Wither; Pulitzer
Prize-winner Margo Jefferson, author of
Negroland: A Memoir;
Chinelo Okparanta,
whose debut novel
Under the Udala Trees is
one of the books to look
out for this year; and
Scarlett Thomas of The
End of Mr. Y fame.
The annual André Brink Memorial
Lecture will be presented by Sindiwe
Magona, pictured.
To book, go to www.webtickets.co.za. For
details, visit www.bookslive.co.za
GIVEAWAY: We are
giving away three copies
of the new paperback
edition of Khaya
Dlanga’s To Quote
Myself, which includes
a new chapter “To Quote
Others”. To enter, join us on Twitter
with the hashtag #STBooks and tell
us what you’re reading. Competition
closes on Friday April 1. We’ll
announce the winner on Twitter
after a random draw on April 4.
Ts & Cs apply.
N the manifesto issued on December 16 1961 in which Umkhonto weSizwe announced its existence,
there was a passage that read: “We
hope that we will bring the government
and its supporters to their senses before
it is too late, so that both the government
and its policies can be changed before
matters reach the desperate state of civil
war.”
I was struck by those words when I
first read them. This counter-intuitive
notion (to me at least) of an armed insurgency that aimed in part to avoid civil
war was what first kindled my interest in
studying MK’s history.
My research has involved events extending over almost half a century, in
which MK operations encompassed
practically the whole spectrum of modern warfare: counter-insurgency campaigns in Angola that aimed to hold territory against Unita’s guerrilla incursions; mobile warfare in Zimbabwe in
THEY
MURDERED
HIS WIFE.
what Ron Reid-Daly, the commander of
Rhodesia’s Selous Scouts, once called
“the most significant operations” of that
war; acts of sabotage that made headlines across the world; and other operations designed to strike fear into the
hearts of the supporters of the apartheid
regime.
My main sources were the recollections of those who participated in the
events. The more I read of their accounts, the more I developed an interest
in them for their own sake. It is usually
easy to offer judgment in hindsight, but
I found it remarkable how seldom this
was the case in my reading. On many
occasions it was difficult to say, even
knowing the outcomes, how one would
have acted differently, so acute were the
dilemmas faced by the actors involved.
Perhaps the principal novelty of the
book is the way I have tried to preserve
a sense of these dilemmas. The book is
written in the immediate tense, conveying some of the real-time choices faced
by the protagonists. The narrative
weaves the perspectives of all sides —
insurgents, counter-insurgents and civilians — into a unified account of South
Africa’s progression from the height of
apartheid in the 1950s to the negotiated
settlement of the 1990s.
ý ‘Umkhonto We Sizwe: The ANC’s
Armed Struggle’ by Thula Simpson
is published by Penguin Random
House (R350).
THEY
DESTROYED
HIS FUTURE.
NOW THEY
HAVE TO PAY.
ALSO BY WILBUR SMITH
a signed leatherbound collector’s edition of
PREDATOR, worth R10 000. SMS WILBUR SMITH,
your full name and email address to 40676 or go to
LINK LOVE:
Loving the Tuscan Sun
It’s been 20 years since Under the
Tuscan Sun was published — giving
us the film and all things Tuscan. The
New Yorker’s Jason Wilson rereads
it. Go to http://bit.ly/undertuscan
mustreadbooks.co.za. R1 per SMS. Free SMSs do not apply. Ts & Cs apply.
PAGE 60
{ WORDS & STARS }
in the land of Neymar and Gisele, is
“the act of running one’s fingers,
gently but deeply, through someone else’s hair”.
Speaking of hair, the Japanese
have the word age-otori, which is
what happens when you look in the
mirror after a haircut and feel your
heart plummet to the floor to curl up
with the sad, limp, non-reattachable
shanks of your former glory.
Another strange but rather pretty word is the Swedish gökotta —
the intentional act of waking up
early specifically to go outside and
hear the birds sing.
The Pedant Class
SUE DE GROOT
Illustration: Piet Grobler
I
T is impossible, say those who
compile dictionaries, to fix a
total for the number of words
in English. Not because lexicographers can’t count, but (partly)
because they are divided about
what counts as a word and what
doesn’t.
A common argument is whether
the word “dog” should be counted
as one word (the noun for an animal that is always pleased to see
you) or two (the verb that means
“to follow closely” — also known as
stalking).
There are technical words, obsolete words, words that exist simply
to join or qualify other words, foreign words, dialect, slang, jargon
and abbreviations. Making allowance for new words that constantly swell the river of English as
well as those that dry up from neglect, experts estimate the total to
be somewhere between a quarter of
a million and three-quarters of a
million. That’s a wide margin.
With all these resources at our disposal, we should never be at a loss
for words. And yet there is no single
word for being unable to find a word
to adequately express oneself. Not
that I can think of, anyway.
I’m not calling English inadequate or dull or anything, but when
you look at some of the intricate
Your Stars
LINDA SHAW
Bhakti Nirhoo
September 17 1996
Durban, 05h41
Sun sign: Virgo
Moon sign: Scorpio
Rising sign: Virgo
Phew! You are young and terrifying. Is it really necessary to control everything? Are you so sure
you’ll be let down if you hand
over the reins to someone else?
How about taking a chance on
yourself? Or on life? Or on your
fabulous future? Relationships of
all kinds are taking strain. But
that’s just until you figure out
what you want and allow yourself
to have it. Exciting new encounters are messing with your head.
Have you found the courage to
seize the moment? Love is there
if you want it. But, as with anything, it comes with risk. Money
is looking exceptional. New opportunities, prizes, jobs are
standing by, awaiting your signal.
Fear of failure is never a good excuse for paralysis. Experiment for
a while. These chances don’t
come by every day.
WANT YOUR CHART READ?
E-mail [email protected]
MARCH 27 2016
When you look at other
languages, it’s hard not
to feel a bit envious
READERS’ WORDS
Your article on pants reminded
me of a memory tip my eldest
brother gave me years ago to
remember the difference between stalagmites and stalactites. “The young dame sat on
an ant heap. When the mites
went up, the tights came
down.” — Ferdie Kilian
My pet grammatical hate is
“with regards to” when meaning “with reference to”. The
correct term is “with regard
(singular) to”. This error has
become so widely used both
orally and written that it is the
exception rather than the
norm to hear or see the word
used correctly. Give your “regards” to Broadway by all
means, as “regards” are greetings. — Jean Johnson
concepts and emotions expressed
in one word in other languages, it’s
hard not to feel a bit envious.
There should be a word for the
benevolent act of giving information
that makes someone else’s life richer. Reader Judy Kean did this for me
when she informed me of a book
called Landmarks, nature writer
Robert McFarlane’s lexicon of wild
words from various dialects. One of
these is smeuse — “the gap in the
base of a hedge made by the regular
passage of a small animal”.
An essay on mind-broadening
website The Book of Life lists 30 oth-
er untranslatable words. The one I
like best is the Scottish tartle — that
moment of hesitation when you forget someone’s name. I have not been
able to establish whether tartle is a
verb or a noun. When you pretend to
choke on a peppermint while saying
a name that could be interpreted as
either “Kerryn” or “Angelica”, are
you tartling? Or is the moment of
pretend-choking in order to buy
time known as a tartle?
The most sensual word on this
list comes from Brazil, where they
speak not Brazilian but a hotblooded type of Portuguese. Cafuné,
I can’t say I have ever experienced gökotta. You don’t need to get
up and go outside to hear the
hadedas where I live. You can still
hear them even with your head under the pillow.
What we really need is a word for
the moment of hesitation when
you are on the telephone to someone foreign who has never heard a
hadeda before and the idiot bird’s
jarring scream interrupts your conversation, followed by a confused
and slightly embarrassed silence on
the other side of the line as the
person to whom you are talking
wonders what torture is being conducted in your home, and you
aren’t sure whether to say “it’s just
a hadeda”, because then you would
have to explain what a hadeda is
and then you’d be over-explaining
and would sound even more like
the sort of person who had forgotten to close the door of the torture
chamber before answering the
phone.
What, I ask, would you call that?
LS
ARIES
(Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Juggling all the balls at
once is not new to you, so
if you drop a few along the way, no
one will be surprised. Concentrate
on a few specifics. Career and home,
for example. The career is changing,
possibly pushing that final decision
to work for yourself — or at least to
look for greater freedom. Home will
be tense until you get to the root of
the problem. Do what you can. Stick
with your friends until it passes.
CANCER
(June 21 – Jul 22)
Is it a person you’re in
love with — or simply a
desire for the exotic? Watch yourself if you’re already involved. This
is a dangerous time for even the
most well-behaved of lovers. If you
can’t resist, take your badness elsewhere. The obedient option would
be to recreate the dying romance in
your current love. Even better, turn
your heart away from love and sign
that fabulous deal instead.
LIBRA
(Sep 23 – Oct 22)
This is a fun time for you,
except that the planets
have added a little sauce to the mix.
Nothing terrible, perhaps a minor
financial wobble, but mostly bringing their own solutions. Even so,
you’re being tossed off your perch,
and forced to look elsewhere for
clues. So it’s yes to a change of perspective. It’s a frustrating week. The
lesson is about personal limitations
and going with the flow.
CAPRICORN
(Dec 22 – Jan 19)
This week you’ll be helping them a lot more than
they’ll be helping you. But that’s
okay. As long as you’re healthy
enough to have something to give.
Eat your greens. Remind yourself
how fabulous you are. Your world
has endured its darkest moments
— and the first streaks of light are
peeking through. Relief comes
in stages as the planets slowly rearrange themselves. Be proud.
TAURUS
(Apr 20 – May 20)
Money is your thing: Arguing about it or getting
it. Restrain yourself until next
week. By then there will be fabulous
new offers to distract you. Back to
the love life — or should that be war
life? Why not share what you have
and move on? Remember: what
you give out comes back tenfold. So
it’s in your interests to keep the energies upbeat. Also have fun. The
cosmos wants joy for you.
LEO
(Jul 23 – Aug 22)
This is one of those times
when you need to be no
one but yourself. Fully yourself. Job
and career opportunities are hunting you down, and love is after you.
You take the role of decision-maker.
Which dream is most important?
How much time do you have for
each moment? Which of your plans
are out of date? You’re a hoarder of
pain, memories and garbage. Toss it
all out while you have the chance.
SCORPIO
(Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Your planets have collided, turning the ground
beneath you into a soggy marsh.
While you may not feel the shifts
directly, they’re happening just the
same. This is probably a good time
to master the art of treading water
— of looking like you know where
you’re going, but actually bending
with the storm. In short, a time of
confusion is a time not to act. Hang
in. This too will pass.
AQUARIUS
(Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Sparks fly as you make
choices that are just for
you. About time! You’re discovering that selfishness is not always
the devil it’s made out to be. Tracks
are being laid for your dreams to
follow and the energies are shifting
in your direction. Pay attention.
You’ll feel them. People will be demanding more than you can deliver
so say “no” sometimes. Or get your
friends to help. They’d like to.
GEMINI
(May 21 – June 20)
Watch your back, front
and sides. The planet of
drama is visiting, lending an air of
danger — or excitement — to your
frantic life. The message here is to
calm down. Or perhaps to harness
the energy for something more creative. One more thing. This insane
infatuation has got to be tamed.
Hopefully before you make a total
idiot of yourself. Look again. With
your eyes actually open.
VIRGO
(Aug 23 – Sep 22)
Secrets you unearth
could earn you money.
Your intuition is strong now, so
trust your hunches. Siblings and
relatives are going through a jealous patch. Try not to react, and use
the extra charm to make them feel
needed. The guys at work might be
giving you a hard time too. Don’t
take it personally. The feeling will
pass. And don’t worry too much
about the love life just now.
SAGITTARIUS
(Nov 22 – Dec 21)
The career is great, even
though you’re working
harder than you’d like. Feel prosperous now and prosperity will follow you. If there are delays, look out
for new ways to do old things. By
Friday, your finances will shift, and
you’ll begin to understand what it
was all for. Ask for patience at
home, but make time for your people this weekend. Include them in
the process. Be generous.
PISCES
(Feb 19 – Mar 20)
The stars are calling,
sprinkling fairy dust to
light your way. So it’s yes to networking, to closing deals, to accepting the goodies on display. The social life will have a business flavour
now, but that won’t make it any less
entertaining. Three things: be kind
to those who’ve helped you; get
someone to market your public image; and note that some deals may
not work until they’re ready.
Hardydastardism
RE “The cut of your cloth”
(March 20). My favourite story
regarding clothes and the understanding, or in this case,
misunderstanding, of the English idiom concerns two elderly women. The one says to her
friend, “I was in the train with
such a kind man, he said he
had put his shirt on a bleeding
horse that got scratched.”
— Mary May Wellbeloved
Evolving English: the term
“Americanism” no longer has a
separate entry in the Concise
Oxford English Dictionary, nor
in Fowler’s Modern English Usage. — Hugh Knight
E-mail your observations
on words and language to
[email protected]
On Twitter @deGrootS1
MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 61
tv
{ ???? }
Sunday Times
REBECCA DAVIS
Parliament would be
improved by piranhas,
nudity and booze
HE most riveting drama on
South African TV continues to be a local production: parliament. In theory, that is. During President Jacob
Zuma’s latest appearance before
the National Assembly to answer
questions, it was inevitable that the
issue of Guptagate would raise its
head. And yet, for the ordinary
home viewer, the broadcast proved
less than thrilling. The greatest excitement occurred when the DA’s
parliamentary caucus walked out
muttering insults, but at this stage
we’re so used to the sight of MPs
exiting stage left that a more innovative production would see all
parliamentary benches filled. Here
follow some suggestions to make
president’s question time a more
interesting TV spectacle.
ý Model the broadcast around
latest US TV sensation Moment of
Truth, a reality show in which contestants are required to answer
deeply exposing questions in exchange for increasing amounts of
money. They win the money if their
polygraph test results accord with
the answers they give on TV. We
know by now that the president has
bills to pay. Why not sweeten the
prospect of giving straightforward
T
responses to questions with a cash
payout?
ý Introduce a drinking game
whereby all MPs are required to
take a shot of hard liquor every
time certain words and phrases are
mentioned. These would include:
“sub judice”, “inter-ministerial
committee”, “unparliamentary language”, and “voetsek”.
ý Introduce a form of strip poker, whereby any EFF MP rising on a
point of order which is not actually
a point of order is required to remove an item of clothing. Since
most of them wear one-pieces, this
is certain to produce a good time for
all.
ý Tie all opposition MPs to their
seats using a fiendish combination
of cables and knots, like contestants trapped underwater in a tank
full of piranhas on Fear Factor. Each
time one of them asks a sensible,
probing question of the president
— thus earning their fat parliamentary salaries — one knot can be untied by a parliamentary aide. In this
way, the only manner to earn your
freedom from the chamber is by
doing your job.
ý Give the Speaker a gigantic
foam finger, such as those favoured
on Gladiators. This would be used
OVERALL WINNERS? EFF members in their red outfits clash with parliament’s security heavies during the
state of the nation address
Picture: ESA ALEXANDER
to point menacingly at misbehaving MPs, but its major function
would be the visual hilarity it would
bring to an otherwise dour scene.
ý During moments of explosive
parliamentary stand-offs, send the
white-shirted parliamentary stormtroopers into the chamber to distribute baskets of kittens. This is
not only guaranteed to defuse tension but will also surprise and delight viewers at home. Plus, in this
way, president’s question time will
result in at least one cat being let
out the bag.
Demographics of regular
parliament TV viewers
People with a
passionate
interest in
South Africa’s
political
process
People with a
passionate
desire to see
a politician
get punched
in the nose
SUNDAY 27 March
Television with
MATTHEW VICE
Write to
[email protected]
SABC1
06:30 Bonisanani | 7:00 Hurray for
Huckle | 07:30 YoTV Ntunjambili: Twin
Caves | 08:00 YoTV Furry Tales | 08:15
YoTV Zenzele | 08:30 Matt Hatter
Chronicles | 9:00 Gospel Gold | 10:00
Mzansi Insider | 11:00 i-DENTITY | 11:30
Chatroom | 12:00 Big Up | 12:30 Uzalo
(three episodes) | 14:00 The Real
Goboza | 14:30 Premiership soccer
repeat: Orlando Pirates v Jomo Cosmos
(rec on 12/03) | 15:00 Premiership soccer
repeat: Chippa United v Maritzburg United
(rec on 20/03) | 17:30 Kulcha Kwest | 18:00
Remix | 18:30 Stumbo Stomp amaPantsula
| 19:00 News | 19:30 Sunday Live | 20:00
Ngempela (two episodes) | 21:00 FILM:
Click (2006) (13) | 23:00 Gospel Gold
SABC2
e.tv
06:00 Thabang Thabong | 06:30 Disney’s
A.N.T. Farm | 06:57 Motheo |
07:00 Morning Live | 08:30 Simcha |
09:00 Sacred Journey | 10:00 Hosanna |
10:30 Psalted | 11:00 Saath Phere (two
episodes) | 12:00 Noot vir Noot |
13:00 Dr Tumi | 14:00 Way of the Cross |
14:30 50/50 | 15:30 7de Laan (five
episodes) | 17:00 Smallville | 18:00 News
| 18:30 Fokus | 19:00 Nuus | 19:30
Skwizas | 20:00 It’s Gospel Time |
21:00 Keke in the Holy of Holies |
22:00 Documentary | 23:00 The 4400 |
22:00 Person of Interest
05:00 Afro Musica | 05:30 Joseph Prince
| 06:00 Checkpoint | 06:30 The Tyrannus
Apostolic Church | 07:00 Grassroots |
07:30 Hillsong | 08:00 Quiz Time |
08:05 Cool Catz | 08:30 The Fairly Odd
Parents | 09:00 NFL Rush Zone: Season
of the Guardians | 09:30 Shiz Niz |
10:00 Behind the Gospel | 11:00
Bundesliga Highlights | 12:00 FILM: The
Mask of Zorro | 14:15 America’s Got
Talent | 16:00 The Biggest Loser | 17:00
WWE Raw | 18:00 eNews Early Edition |
18:05 Mahadi Lobola | 18:30 Ukuthomba
| 19:00 eNews Direct | 19:30 How I Met
Your Mother | 20:00 FILM: White House
Down (2013) (13) Action thriller. With
Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx and Maggie
Gyllenhaal | 22:45 FILM: The Illusionist
(2006) (13) Mystery drama. With Edward
Norton, Jessica Biel and Paul Giamatti
SABC3
05:00 AM Shopping | 05:30 A New Day |
06:00 An Nur | 06:30 Sadhana |
07:00 Seabert | 07:30 Nutri Ventures |
08:00 On Track | 08:30 Jakkals Jol |
09:00 Young Designers | 09:30 Made in
SA | 10:00 Technorati | 10:30 Isidingo
(five episodes) | 12:30 Top Billing |
13:30 Mela | 14:30 FILM: Sorcerer’s
Apprentice | 16:30 Amazing Race |
17:30 Secrets of Nature | 18:00 Esquire’s
Car of the Year | 18:30 News @ 6:30 |
19:00 Interface | 19:27 21 Icons filler |
19:30 Excavating Jesus | 20:30 Special
Assignment | 21:00 Ross Camp |
22:00 Classic Car Show | 23:00 Extreme
Makeover: Home Edition (double bill)
Ultimate
Braai Master
(season four)
Travel Channel,
Channel 179, 21:00
Although the press spiel
tries to big this up as a
“brand-new season” of
Ultimate Braai Master, it
is in fact a syndication of
season four. Still, that’s
not necessarily a bad
thing if you missed it
before. Switch on if you
like cooking outdoors and
fancy yet another virtual
bop around our country’s
out-of-the-way, scenic
locations to see how 13
teams of wannabe braaimasters cook in
challenging scenarios.
M-Net
07:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show (five
episodes) | 11:05 The Wiz! Live | 13:00
Blue Bloods | 14:00 Limitless | 15:00
Caught on Camera | 16:00 Limitless |
16:30 My Story | 17:30 The Voice South
Africa | 19:00 Carte Blanche | 20:05
FILM: Ant-Man (2014) (13) Baftanominated, Marvel comic-based action.
With Paul Rudd | 22:10 The Fixer
PAGE 62
MARCH 27 2016
{ TELEVISION }
MONDAY 28 March
TUESDAY 29 March
WEDNESDAY 30 March
SABC1
SABC1
SABC1
05:00 Aum | 05:02 Geleza Nathi | 06:00 Kids News
and Current Affairs 06:30 Twin Caves | 07:00 YoT V
Land | 07:15 Ilitha Lethu | 07:30 Takalani Sesame |
08:00 The Bold and the Beautiful | 08:30 Isidingo |
09:00 Generations: The Legacy | 09:30 Muvhango |
10:00 Skeem Saam | 10:30 Family Bonds | 11:00
Shift | 12:00 Yilungelo Lakho | 13:00 Lunch Time
News | 13:30 Making
Moves | 14:30 Matt
Hatter Chronicles |
15:00 YoTV Live |
16:00 Teenagers
on a Mission | 16:30
One Day Leaders |
17:28 Aum | 17:30
News | 18:00 Now or
Never | 18:30 Skeem
Saam | 19:00 News |
19:30 Ses’top La |
20:00 Generations:
Killjoys
The Legacy |
M-Net Edge,
20:30 Uzalo | 21:00
Channel 102, 20:00
Soccerzone | 22:00
Every nerd has a favourite
Freedom Is Not Free |
sci-fi show. For me, it was
23:00 Shift
Firefly, a gone-too-soon
space adventure with
SABC2
great chemistry between
its ensemble cast. This
05:30 Living Land |
appears to be another
05:57 Motheo |
effort to fill that niche.
06:00 Morning Live |
It’s got crew of three
08:00 Parliament: A
bounty hunters (played
View from the House |
by Hannah John-Karmen,
08:30 Infomercials |
Aaron Ashmore and Luke
09:00 Thabang
Macfarlane) who fly
Thabong | 09:30 64
around a star system
Zoo Lane | 10:00
containing four planets
Takalani Sesame |
full of complicated
politics, huge
10:30 Rivoningo |
corporations, class
11:00 America’s
warfare and criminals
Supernanny | 12:00
that need apprehending.
Rands with Sense |
Maybe it’ll be good. It is
12:30 Umnotfo Wami |
getting another season.
13:00 The Dr Phil
Show | 14:00 7de Laan
| 14:30 Uzalo | 15:00
Skeem Saam | 15:30 Muvhango | 16:00 Hectic Nine9 | 17:00 Naruto | 17:30 News | 18:30 7de Laan |
19:00 Nuus | 19:30 Mooiloop | 20:00 Person of
Interest | 21:00 Muvhango | 21:30 Abo Mzala |
22:00 Lebo Sekgobela music special (double bill)
05:00 Izwi La Bantu | 05:02 Geleza Nathi | 06:00
Kids News and Current Affairs 06:30 YoTV Zenzele
| 06:45 Furry Tales | 07:00 YoTV Land | 07:15 Ilitha
Lethu | 07:30 Takalani Sesame | 08:00 The Bold and
the Beautiful | 08:30 Isidingo | 09:00 Generations:
The Legacy | 09:30 Muvhango | 10:00 Skeem Saam
| 10:30 Family Bonds | 11:00 Shift | 12:00
Soccerzone | 13:00 Lunch Time News | 13:30 Ispani
| 14:30 Chuggington | 15:00 YoTV Live | 16:00
Teenagers on a Mission | 16:30 Shift | 17:28 Izwi La
Bantu | 17:30 News | 18:00 Nyan’ Nyan | 18:26
Vodacom Yebo Millionaires | 18:30 Skeem Saam |
19:00 Afcon Qualifier soccer: 2nd Leg. South Africa
v Cameroon | 21:00 Generations: The Legacy |
21:30 Uzalo | 22:00 Making Moves
05:00 Listen for a Moment | 05:02 Geleza Nathi |
06:00 Kids News and Current Affairs 06:30 Furry
Tales | 06:45 Mvubu and Friends | 07:00 YoTV Land
| 07:15 Ilitha Lethu | 07:30 Takalani Sesame | 08:00
The Bold and the Beautiful | 08:30 Isidingo | 09:00
Generations: The Legacy | 09:30 Muvhango | 10:00
Skeem Saam | 10:30 Family Bonds | 11:00 Nyan’
Nyan | 11:30 Selimathunzi | 12:00 Khumbul’ekhaya
| 13:00 Lunch Time News | 13:30 Freedom is Not
Free | 14:30 Hurray for Huckle! | 15:00 YoTV Live |
16:00 Bona Retsang | 16:30 My World | 17:28 Listen
for a Moment | 17:30 News | 18:00 Mokapelo |
18:30 Skeem Saam | 19:00 News | 19:30 Ses’ Top La
| 20:00 Generations: The Legacy | 20:30 Uzalo |
21:00 Khumbul’ekhaya | 22:00 Sport @ 10
SABC3
05:00 Deutsche Welle TV | 05:30 Takalani Sesame |
06:00 Expresso | 08:30 Interface | 09:00 Extreme
Makeover: Home Edition | 11:00 Muvhango |
11:30 7de Laan | 12:00 Tropical Heat | 13:00 News
@ 1 | 13:30 Africa News Update | 14:00 Excavating
Jesus | 15:00 Extreme Makeover: Home Edition |
15:30 ICC T20 Cricket build-up | 16:00 South Africa
v Sri Lanka | 18:30 News @ 6:30 | 19:00 South
Africa v Sri Lanka | 20:00 Cricket highlights |
20:30 Survivor | 21:30 Two Broke Girls
e.tv
05:30 Ukuthomba | 06:00 Morning News Today |
08:30 Infomercials | 09:00 The Young and the
Restless | 10:00 Great Expectations | 10:30
Checkpoint | 11:00 e-Shibobo | 11:30 Rhythm City |
12:00 Scandal! | 12:30 Paternity Court | 13:00 News
Day | 13:30 WWE Superstars | 14:30 Quiz Time |
14:35 Cool Catz | 15:00 Ever ything’s Rosie | 15:15
Fireman Sam | 15:30 Power Rangers: Megaforce |
16:00 Sistahood | 16:30 The Steve Harvey Show |
17:30 Modern Family | 18:00 Shikisha | 18:30 eNews
Direct | 19:00 Rhythm City | 19:30 Scandal! |
20:00 Ashes to Ashes | 20:30 Ekasi: Our Stories |
21:00 Ekasi: Our Stories | 21:30 Umlilo |
22:30 FILM: Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) (16)
Thriller. With Elizabeth Olsen and John Hawks |
00:35 FILM: No One Would Tell (1996) (13) Drama.
M-Net
07:00 Modern Family | 07:30 Blue Bloods |
08:30 Limitless | 09:30 FILM: The Imitation Game |
11:30 Mom | 12:00 The Royal Variety Performance |
14:05 The Good Wife | 15:00 Shades of Blue |
16:00 Grey’s Anatomy | 17:00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show | 18:00 The Goldbergs | 18:30 Masterchef
Australia | 19:30 Grey’s Anatomy | 20:30 The Fixer |
21:30 Code Black | 22:30 Carte Blanche | 23:15 Zoo
SABC2
05:30 Living Land | 05:57 Motheo | 06:00 Morning
Live | 08:00 Parliament: A View From the House |
08:30 Infomercials | 09:00 Inside the Baobab Tree |
09:30 64 Zoo Lane | 10:00 Takalani Sesame |
10:30 Rivoningo | 11:00 Words and Numbers |
11:30 My Night | 12:00 Talk SA | 12:30 Golden Years
| 13:00 Dr Phil | 14:00 7de Laan | 14:30 Uzalo |
15:00 Skeem Saam | 15:30 Muvhango | 16:00 Hectic
Nine-9 | 17:00 Dragonball GT 17:30 News |
18:30 7de Laan | 19:00 Nuus | 19:30 Parys Parys |
20:00 Geraamtes in die Kas | 21:00 Muvhango |
21:30 Visionaries Lounge | 22:00 It’s Gospel Time
SABC3
06:00 Expresso | 08:30 Lorraine Pascale: Baking
Made Easy | 09:00 Extreme Makeover: Home
Edition | 10:30 Muvhango | 11:00 Isidingo | 11:30
7de Laan | 12:00 Relic Hunter | 13:00 News @ 1 |
13:30 Africa News Update | 14:00 Interface | 14:30
Curtain Call | 15:00 Hair Battle Spectacular 16:00
Afternoon Express | 17:00 Days of Our Lives | 18:00
The Bold and the Beautiful | 18:30 News @ 6:30 |
19:00 Isidingo | 19:30 High Rollers | 20:00 Top Chef
| 21:00 Nikita | 22:00 Dr 90210 | 23:00 Numb3rs
e.tv
05:30 eNews Sunrise | 06:00 Sunrise | 08:30
Infomercials | 09:00 The Young and the Restless |
10:00 Great Expectations | 11:00 Shikisha | 11:30
Rhythm City | 12:00 Scandal! | 12:30 Paternity
Court | 13:00 News Day | 13:30 WWE Experience |
14:30 Quiz Time |
14:35 Cool Catz |
15:00 Dora the
Explorer | 15:30
Pokémon | 16:00
Craz-e Shiz Niz |
16:30 The Steve
Harvey Show | 17:30
House of Payne |
18:00 Turn Up and
Dance | 18:30 eNews
Prime Time | 19:00
Rhythm City | 19:30
Austin Powers
Scandal! | 20:00
in Goldmember
Ashes to Ashes |
M-Net Movies
20:30 Shuga | 21:00
Showcase,
Powerball | 21:05
Channel 108, 20:00
Traffic! | 21:35 Heist |
Without doubt, the best
thing about this movie is
22:05 Checkpoint |
the intro, in which
22:35 FILM: The
Austin Powers (Mike
Ballad of Lucy
Meyers) sits in on a
Whipple (2001) (13)
preview screening of a
Drama. With Jena
movie about him,
Malone | 00:25 FILM:
starring Tom Cruise and
Married 2 Malcolm
directed by Steven
(2000) (13) Comedy
Spielberg. Otherwise, it’s
a silly spy comedy where
almost every other line
M-Net
is a sexual innuendo.
06:00 The Ellen
For example, Gwyneth
DeGeneres Show |
Paltrow’s character is
07:00 The Big Bang
named Dixie Normous.
Theory | 07:30 Zoo |
Think about it, I’ll wait ...
08:30 My Story |
09:30 The Good Wife
| 10:30 The Last Ship |
11:30 The Middle | 12:00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show | 13:00 MasterChef Australia | 14:00 The
Voice South Africa | 16:00 Grey’s Anatomy |
17:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show | 18:00 Mom |
18:30 MasterChef Australia | 19:30 My Story |
20:30 11.22.63 (two episodes) | 22:30 The Fixer
SABC2
05:30 Living Land |
05:57 Op Pad |
08:00 Parliament: A
View from the House
| 08:30 Infomercials |
09:00 Inside the
Baobab Tree | 09:30
64 Zoo Lane | 10:00
Takalani Sesame |
10:30 Rivoningo |
11:00 Sports Lifestyle
Show | 11:30
HugaTree |
12:00 It’s For Life |
12:30 48 Hours |
13:00 The Dr Phil
Show | 14:00 7de
Laan | 14:30 Uzalo |
15:00 Skeem Saam |
15:30 Muvhango |
16:00 Hectic Nine-9 |
17:00 Naruto | 17:30
News | 18:30 7de
Laan | 19:00 Nuus |
19:30 Motswako |
20:00 Ngula Ya
Vutivi/Zwa Maramani
| 20:30 Vusaseki |
21:00 Live Lotto
Draw | 21:05
Muvhango |
21:30 90 Plein Street
| 22:00 Afro Café
Momsters: When
Moms Go Bad
Discovery ID Xtra,
Channel 171, 21:00
If there’s one thing I
wouldn’t have pictured
comedian Roseanne Barr
doing, it’s presenting a
crime show. It turns out
I was almost correct on
that. Although the crimes
depicted in this show are
based on real events,
they’re presented in a way
to make the momsters in
question look extra loony.
But if there’s any truth to
these tales, they didn’t
need much help. The
show is a collection of
tales of mothers who took
extreme measures to help
their kids succeed or
solve their kids’ problems.
SABC3
06:00 Expresso | 08:30 High Rollers 08:30 The Bold
and the Beautiful | 09:30 Days of Our Lives | 10:30
Muvhango | 11:00 Isidingo | 11:30 7de Laan | 12:00
S.W.A.T. | 13:00 News @ 1 | 13:30 Africa News
Update | 14:00 Minute to Win It | 15:00 Esquire’s Car
of the Year | 15:30 ICC T20 Cricket build-up | 16:00
Semifinal 1 | 18:30 News @ 6:30 | 19:00 Semifinal 1
continues | 20:00 Cricket highlights | 20:30 High
Rollers | 21:00 Humans | 22:00 Classic Car Show
e.tv
10:00 Supernanny | 11:00 Turn Up and Dance |
11:30 Rhythm City | 12:00 Scandal! | 12:30
Paternity Court | 13:30 WWE: Smackdown |
14:30 Quiz Time | 14:35 Cool Catz | 15:00 Mister
Maker | 15:30 Street Football | 16:00 Frenzy |
16:30 The Steve Harvey Show | 17:30 House of
Payne | 18:00 MVP Jam | 18:30 eNews Direct |
19:00 Rhythm City | 19:30 Scandal! | 20:00 Ashes to
Ashes | 20:30 WWE Main Event Battle | 21:30
Empire | 22:30 FILM: The Virginity Hit (2010) (16)
M-Net
07:00 The Goldbergs | 07:30 The Last Ship |
08:30 Grey’s Anatomy | 09:30 FILM: The Lost
Medallion: The Adventures of Billy Stone |
11:30 Two Broke Girls | 12:00 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show | 13:00 MasterChef Australia | 14:00 One Big
Happy (two episodes) | 15:00 Code Black |
16:00 My Story | 17:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show |
18:00 The Middle | 18:30 MasterChef Australia |
19:30 Modern Family | 20:00 The Big Bang Theory |
20:30 Shades of Blue | 21:30 CSI Cyber |
22:30 Limitless | 23:50 Caught on Camera
MARCH 27 2016
PAGE 63
{ TELEVISION }
THURSDAY 31 March
FRIDAY 1 April
SATURDAY 2 April
SABC1
SABC1
SABC1
05:00 Journeys of Inspiration | 05:02 Geleza Nathi |
06:00 Kids’ News and Current Affairs | 06:30 YoT V
Act | 07:00 YoTV Land | 07:15 YoTV Ilitha Lethu |
07:30 Takalani Sesame | 08:00 The Bold and the
Beautiful | 08:30 Ngempela | 09:00 Generations:
The Legacy | 09:30 Muvhango | 10:00 Skeem Saam
| 10:30 Family Bonds | 11:00 The Chatroom |
11:30 Ayashia Amateki | 12:00 Sports @ 10 |
13:00 News | 13:30 Fan Base | 14:00 Zaziwa |
14:30 Galaxy Racers | 15:00 YoTV Live | 16:00 Bona
Retsang | 16:30 My World | 17:28 Journeys of
Inspiration | 17:30 News | 18:00 Ayashisa Amateki |
18:30 Skeem Saam | 19:00 News | 19:30 Zaziwa |
20:00 Generations:
The Legacy |
20:30 Mfolozi Street |
21:00 Walala Wasala |
21:30 Cutting Edge
|22:00 Home Affairs |
23:00 Ispani
05:00 Reflections of Faith | 05:02 Geleza Nathi |
06:00 Kids’ News and Current Affairs | 06:30 Sports
Buzz | 07:00 YoTV Land | 07:15 Ilitha Lethu |
07:30 Takalani Sesame | 08:00 The Bold and the
Beautiful | 08:30 Isidingo | 09:00 Generations: The
Legacy | 09:30 Muvhango | 10:00 Skeem Saam |
10:30 Family Bonds | 11:00 Cutting Edge | 11:30
Mokapelo | 12:00 Friends Like These | 13:00 Lunch
Time News | 13:30 Yilungelo Lakho | 14:30
Transformers: Beast Machines | 15:00 YoTV Live |
16:00 Mudpits | 16:30 Ba Kae | 17:00 Centre Stage |
17:28 Reflections of Faith | 17:30 News | 18:00 Fan
Base | 18:30 Skeem Saam | 19:00 News | 19:30 Jika
Majika | 20:00 Generations: The Legacy | 20:30 Jab
| 21:00 Urban Music Xperience | 22:00 Skyroom
Live: Urban Sessions | 23:00 Zaziwa
05:00 Geleza Nathi | 06:00 Imani | 06:30
Siyakholwa | 07:00 Hurray for Huckle | 07:30 YoT V
Big Breakfast | 08:30 Mudpits | 09:00 Urban Music
Experience Countdown | 10:00 Mzansi Insider |
11:00 Generations: The Legacy (five episodes) |
13:30 Safa TV | 14:00 Soccer 411 | 14:30 Nedbank
Cup soccer build-up | 15:00 Platinum Stars v
Polokwane City | 17:30 Roots | 18:00 Friends Like
These | 19:00 The Real Goboza | 19:30 News | 20:00
Nedbank Cup soccer build-up | 20:15 Santos v Free
State Stars | 22:30
Skyroom Live: Urban
Sessions
SABC2
05:30 Living Land |
05:57 Motheo |
Vikings
(season four)
08:00 Parliament: A
M-Net Edge,
View from the House
Channel 102, 20:00
| 08:30 Infomercials |
It’s strangely fitting that
09:00 Inside the
Vikings is a product of the
Baobab Tree | 09:30
History Channel — they
64 Zoo Lane | 10:00
deal in so much fiction
Takalani Sesame |
already, they may as well
do some good fiction
10:30 Rivoningo |
once in a while. It’s not
11:00 Documentary |
entirely fictive, though,
12:00 Love That Girl!
employing bits of history
| 12:30 Mampodi |
and legend to weave the
13:00 Dr Phil |
tale. The start of the
14:00 7de Laan |
season slipped by me,
14:30 Saath Phere |
which is annoying, but I
15:00 Skeem Saam |
caught up and am keen
15:30 Muvhango |
to see what will happen
16:00 Hectic Nine-9 |
when Ragnar finds out
his brother has betrayed
17:00 Roughing It
him. Again.
Out | 17:30 News |
18:30 7de Laan |
19:00 Nuus | 19:30
50/50 | 20:30 Leihlo La Sechaba | 21:00 Muvhango |
21:30 Speak Out | 22:00 When Duty Calls
SABC3
06:00 Expresso | 08:30 Lorraine Pascale: Baking
Made Easy | 09:00 Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
| 10:30 Muvhango | 11:00 Isidingo | 11:30 7de Laan |
12:00 Charlie’s Angels | 13:00 News @ 1 |
13:30 Africa News Update | 14:00 Extreme
Makeover: Home Edition | 15:00 Esquire’s Car
of the Year | 15:30 ICC T20 Cricket build-up |
16:00 Semifinal 2 | 18:30 News @ 6:30 | 19:00
Semifinal 2 continues | 20:00 Cricket highlights |
20:30 Lorraine Pascale: Baking Made Easy |
21:00 Food, Booze and Tattoos | 21:30 Numb3rs |
22:30 Chicago Fire | 23:30 Curtain Call
e.tv
10:00 Supernanny | 11:00 MVP Jam | 11:30 Rhythm
City | 12:00 Scandal! | 12:30 Paternity Court |
13:00 News Day | 13:30 WWE Raw | 14:30 Quiz Time
| 14:35 Cool Catz | 15:00 Yo Gabba Gabba |
15:30 Storm Hawks | 16:00 Craz-e World Live |
16:30 The Steve Harvey Show | 17:30 House of
Payne | 18:00 Ground Zero | 18:30 eNews Direct |
19:00 Rhythm City | 19:30 Scandal! | 20:00 Ashes to
Ashes | 20:30 FILM: The Bounty Hunter (2010) (13) |
22:50 FILM: The Jane Austen Book Club (2007) (13)
SABC2
05:00 Infomercials | 05:30 Takalani Sesame | 05:57
Motheo | 06:00 Morning Live | 08:00 Parliament:
A View from the House | 08:30 Infomercials |
09:00 Rivoningo | 09:30 Inside the Baobab Tree |
10:00 64 Zoo Lane | 10:30 America’s Supernanny |
11:30 My Wife and Kids | | 12:00 The Jamie Foxx
Show | 12:30 Breaking New Ground | 13:00
Interface | 13:30 Muvhango | 14:00 Speak Out |
14:30 Skeem Saam | 15:00 7de Laan | 15:30 Restyle
My Style | 16:00 Hectic Nine-9 | 17:00 Disney’s
A.N.T. Farm | 17:30 News | 18:30 7de Laan | 19:00
Nuus | 19:30 Pasella | 20:00 Noot vir Noot | 21:00
Muvhango | 21:30 Gaabo Motho | 22:00 Mampodi |
22:30 Boxing magazine show |23:00 The 4400
SABC3
05:30 Takalani Sesame | 06:00 Expresso | 08:30
Curtain Call | 09:00 The Bold and the Beautiful |
09:30 Days of Our Lives | 10:30 Muvhango |
11:00 Isidingo | 11:30 7de Laan | 12:00 Starsky and
Hutch | 13:00 News @ 1 | 13:30 Africa News Update |
14:00 Hair Battle
Spectacular | 15:00
Esquire’s Car of the
Year | 16:00 Afternoon
Express | 17:00 Days
of Our Lives | 18:00
The Bold and the
Beautiful | 18:30 News
@ 6:30 | 19:00 Isidingo
| 19:30 Take It All |
20:30 Brooklyn NineNine | 21:00 The Exes |
21:30 Stand Up
Off Their Rockers
Comedy | 23:30 Two
Marathon
Broke Girls
Comedy Central,
Channel 122, 06:00
For April Fool’s Day,
e.tv
Comedy Central will be
05:30 eNews Sunrise |
running a marathon of
06:00 Sunrise |
this candid camera series.
The selling point of this
09:00 The Young and
one is that the pranksters
the Restless | 10:00
are all senior citizens.
eKasi: Our Stories |
Okay, colour me intrigued.
11:00 The Close Up |
I checked out some clips
11:30 Rhythm City |
and I saw an old lady
asking a young woman for
12:00 Scandal! |
help getting something
12:30 Paternity Court
out of her car. The young
| 13:00 News Day |
woman obliged, after
13:30 WWE NXT | 14:30
which the old lady wiped
FILM: The Simpsons
the fingerprints off the car
Movie | 16:20 Frenzy |
door and scuttled off with
16:30 The Steve
her plunder.
Harvey Show | 17:30
House of Payne |
18:00 Club 808: Make
Some Noise | 18:30 eNews Direct | 19:00 Rhythm
City | 19:30 Scandal! | 20:00 Ashes to Ashes |
20:30 FILM: Rocky (1976) (PG) Sports classic. With
Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire and Carl Weathers
M-Net
M-Net
06:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show | 07:00 The Middle
| 07:30 Criminal Minds | 08:30 My Story |
09:30 FILM: The Longest Week | 11:30 The
Goldbergs | 12:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show |
13:00 MasterChef Australia | 14:00 Carte Blanche |
15:00 Shades of Blue | 16:00 Modern Family |
16:30 The Big Bang Theory | 17:00 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show | 18:00 Two Broke Girls | 18:30
MasterChef Australia | 19:30 Limitless | 20:30 My
Story | 21:30 Criminal Minds | 22:30 CSI Cyber
06:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show | 07:00 Modern
Family | 07:30 Shades of Blue | 08:30 Limitless |
09:30 FILM: The Cobbler | 11:30 The Big Bang
Theory | 12:00 The Ellen DeGeneres Show |
13:00 MasterChef Australia | 14:00 Criminal Minds |
15:00 My Story | 16:00 Chicago PD | 17:00 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show | 18:00 Mom | 18:30 MasterChef
Australia | 19:30 The Last Ship | 20:30 NCIS Los
Angeles | 21:30 CSI Cyber | 22:40 FILM: American
Sniper (2014) (16) War drama. With Bradley Cooper
SABC2
05:30 Living Land |
06:00 Thabang
Thabong | 06:30
Inside the Baobab
Tree | 06:57 Op Pad |
08:30 Housecall |
09:30 3, 2, 1
Destination Rio |
10:00 Athletics Alive |
10:30 Adventure
Sport | 11:00 One
Piece | 11:30
Dragonball GT (three
episodes) | 13:00
Love That Girl! |
14:00 Muvhango (five
episodes) | 16:00
FILM: It Might Get
Loud (2008) (PG) |
18:00 News | 18:30
My Wife and Kids |
19:00 Nuus | 19:30
Showville | 20:30 Abo
Mzala | 21:00 Live
Lotto Draw | 21:04
The Bantu Hour |
22:00 Afro Café |
23:00 Smallville
SABC3
South Park:
Bigger, Longer
and Uncut
Sony MAX,
Channel 128, 21:00
Look, there are episodes
of South Park that do
make very good points,
albeit in a crass way —
but the same can’t be said
for this movie. The best
tissue-thin veneer of a
defence you could hold
up is a message about the
dangers of censorship,
and that’s a stretch. Since
this was a movie, they
didn’t have to bleep the
four-letter words, so they
decided to make the
whole plot revolve
around it. The kids of
South Park are taught
naughty words by a
Canadian movie, leading
to the US’s moral
majority going to war
with Canada.
05:00 AM Shopping |
06:00 Sid the Science
Kid | 06:30 Naked
Brothers Band | 07:00 Avatar | 07:30 Snake Park |
08:00 HugaTree | 08:30 Wizards of Waverly Place |
09:00 Challenge SOS | 09:30 Which Way |
10:00 Avatar | 10:30 Snake Park |11:00 Wizards of
Waverly Place | 11:30 Scout’s Safari | 12:00 Dtv |
12:30 Fashion Hunters | 13:00 Hair Battle
Spectacular | 14:00 Fashion Show: The Ultimate
Collection | 15:00 Whose Wedding is it Anyway? |
16:00 Lorraine’s Fast, Fresh and Easy | 16:30 Food,
Booze and Tattoos | 17:00 Top Chef All-Stars |
18:00 Curtain Call | 18:30 News @ 6:30 | 19:00
FILM: Heavens Fall (2006) (13) Docu-drama. With
Timothy Hutton | 21:0 FILM: Snow White and the
Huntsman (2012) With Kristen Stewart and Charlize
Theron (13) Drama | 23:00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
e.tv
05:00 The Close Up | 05:30 Zulu Nation | 06:00 The
Planet’s Funniest Animals | 06:35 Cool Catz | 07:00
Peppa Pig | 07:05 Cool Catz | 07:30 Ever ything’s
Rosie | 07:45 Fireman Sam | 08:00 Dora the Explorer
| 08:30 Marvel Anime: X-Men | 09:00 Sistahood |
09:30 Scandal! (five episodes) | 11:30 Braxton
Family Values | 12:30 e-Shibobo | 13:00 Club 808:
Make Some Noise | 13:30 Masters of Illusion |
14:00 FILM: Dr Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who | 16:00
Kidnapped | 17:00 WWE Smackdown | 18:00 eNews
Early Edition | 18:30 Wipeout USA | 19:00 eNews
Direct | 19:30 FILM: Night at the Museum (2006)
(PG) Enjoyable family adventure comedy. With Ben
Stiller | 22:05 FILM: Big Daddy (1999) (13) Average
comedy. With Adam Sandler
M-Net
06:00 FILM: Inside Out | 08:00 MasterChef
Australia (quintuple bill) | 13:00 Caught on Camera
| 14:00 My Story | 15:00 The Voice South Africa |
17:00 Caught on Camera | 18:00 The Goldbergs |
18:30 Mom | 19:00 The Middle | 19:30 Two Broke
Girls | 20:00 The Good Wife | 21:00 Shades of Blue
| 22:00 The Last Ship | 23:00 The Fixer
39” (99cm) HD Ready LED TV
• Model: STL-39VN77D
• Resolution: 1366 x 768
(304669)
range
Valid from Sunday 27 March to Sunday 3 April 2016. All prices in South African Rands.
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40” (102cm) Full HD LED TV
• Model: TH-40C310Q
(310282)
49” (125cm) Full HD LED TV
• Model: STL-49E3000G
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55” (140cm) Smart Full HD LED TV
65” (165cm) Smart Full HD LED TV
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