February 08, 2007 - College of Idaho

COYOTE
THE CAMPUS NEWSPAPER OF ALBERTSON COLLEGE
8 FEBRUARY 2007 - ISSUE #7
Editor’s Note / Classic Coyote
Feb 1, 1977
As guest editor, half the battle of this issue was learning the ropes. The other
half, composed of gathering, editing and laying out content, was made far easier
with the help of nearly 20 contributors, a lot of good advice from the current
editor-in-chief, and some friends who I would like to name specifically: Patrick
Watson, Dove Rainbow, Lael Uberuaga Rodgers, and Ellen Judd. Scott Lake and
Jordan Drake also wrote herculean amounts, holding up the corners of the News
and Arts & Leisure sections. To the rest of the contributors, and you know who you
are, thank you for helping pack this issue with solid content.
Within the mounds of text-wrap and other over-manipulated adobe layout
techniques in this issue, there exists a theme: The future.
The opinion spread on the future of football (p 10 and 11), the possible athletic
division switch (p 9), the Hayman Hall renovations and the new dorm plans (p 8),
and even Al Gore’s speech (p 6) all seem to look ahead, prepped for change.
All the while, Jon Baker just released two new albums (reviewed on p 17), and
the whole campus seems to be reading I am Charlotte Simmons (reviewed on p 19). We
also reviewed rock band The Shins (p 16), classic novel Ishmael (p 16) and current
block buster Children of Men (p 17).
While Patrick Watson didn’t exactly go spelunking in order to research his short
piece on the new juice machine (p 4), Scott Lake ventured to the bottom of Boone
to uncover a hidden gem — the Orma J. Smith Museum of Natural History (p 12).
On the same page, Kate Radford covered the temporary Pulitzer Photo exhibit,
“Capture the Moment,” which is, for those of you who haven’t been already, a
must-see.
The two must-reads of Coyote issue #7 are Ciara Tippin’s “Got Consent?” (p 13)
and Ines Tucakovic’s mini-bio on the back page entitled “Citizen Tucakovic.” Due
to the sensitivity and the authentic, personal touches of these pieces, I will avoid
bastardizing them with a summary. Just read them. I’ll leave it at that.
Sincerely,
Brad Baughman
Guest Editor
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Stephen Lowman
FACULTY ADVISOR
Alan Minskoff
COPY EDITING AND
LAYOUT:
Brad Baughman, Ellen
Judd, Lael UberuagaRodgers, Patrick Watson
COVER:
Jayne Saunders
2
ART
Mariah Armstrong, Leigh
Basford, Katrina McMullan, Alli
Straubhar, Brad Baughman
CONTRIBUTORS
Jon Baker, Leigh Basford, Brad
Baughman, Kerry CostiganGaldes, Jordan Drake, Natalie
Hatch, Ben Henke, Brent
Housten, Scott Lake, Molly
Mooney, Kate Radford, Dove
Rainbow, Chris Rifer, Lindsay
Russell, Taylor St. John, Daniel
Thrasher, Ciara Tippin, Ines
Tucakovic, Lael UberuagaRodgers, Patrick Watson
About:
The Coyote is the student-run
campus publication of Albertson
College of Idaho. We provide a
forum for student, faculty, staff
and administrative voices. The
opinions presented here are not
necessarily those of The Coyote
or Albertson College.
Submissions and Letters:
The Coyote reserves the right
to edit all submissions for style,
length and grammar.
Articles should be submitted in
10 pt. Times New Roman, single
spaced and with paragraphs indented five spaces.
Articles may be submitted by
emailing them as a Microsoft
Word file to slowman@albertson.
edu or [email protected]
Letters to the editor are welcomed
and will be printed as space allows. Letter may be edited for
grammar. Letters can be emailed
to [email protected] or
sent to the address below:
The Coyote
Albertson College
2112 Cleveland Blvd.
Box 52
Caldwell, ID 83605
Payment:
The Coyote pays $0.03 per word,
$15 for an original piece of art,
$30 for an original cover and $5
per photograph.
Writers will be reimbursed for
costs pertaining to reporting at the
discretion of the editorial board.
Reimbursement must be sought
in advance.
Advertise and Anything Else:
Contact editor Stephen Lowman at
[email protected] or (208)
761-9295. The Coyote office can
be reached at (208) 459-5509.
Subscriptions:
Anonymous letters will not be Subscriptions are availible for $25
per year.
printed.
8 FEBRUARY 2007
TABLE OF CONTENTS
THE COYOTE
ANSWER THIS
By LAEL UBERUAGA-RODGERS
Q: What should the new
dorms be called?
“Komoto Castle.”
Chris Rifer, senior
The sacrifice of Warner Pacific at the Temple of Coach Owen. Photos courtesy of Tim Garza
NEWS
Gore Comes to Boise
6 Al
By Patrick Watson
FEATURE
New Marshall Scholar
6 ACI’s
By Kerry Costigan-Galdes
Future of Football
10 The
By Natalie Hatch, Scott Lake, et. al.
Burglaries
7 Car
By Dove Rainbow
Consent?
13 Got
By Ciara Tippin
Housing Adressed
8 Student
By Patrick Watson
Day
14 Valentine’s
By Dove Rainbow
and Snowboard Teams
9 Ski
By Dove Rainbow
Division Switch
9 Possible
By Daniel Thrasher
Tucakovic
20 Citizen
By Ines Tucakovic
“I’m a Boonie. I think they should renovate
Boone instead.”
Clara Madsen, sophomore
Lies Beneath?
12 What
By Scott Lake
Prize Photos
12 Pulitzer
By Kate Radford
OPINION
Sluggard, Waste Not Life
4 Up
By Lindsay Russell
4
New Juice
By Patrick Watson
of Reality
4 AByDose
Taylor St. John
to the Editor
5 Letters
from Jenya Yakimova,
Ben Thomas
“Hoover Hall.”
Geoff Williams, sophomore
ARTS &
LEISURE
Few, The Proud, The Tattoed
15 The
By Leigh Basford
on Expert
15 Shredding
By Brent Housten
“Paprika.” [going with the Village condiment
theme]
Erica Larson, sophomore
The Shins
16 Review:
By Jordan Drake
Ishmael
16 Review:
by Lael Uberuaga-Rodgers
Jon Baker
17 Reviews:
By Molly Mooney & Scott Lake
17 Review: Children of Men
By Jordan Drake
I Am Charlotte Simmons
18 Reviews:
By Molly Mooney & Scott Lake
“I don’t care, as long as it’s not named after a
person. That’s boring.”
Kylie Wilson, sophomore
19 Horoscopes
ISSUE #7
3
OPINION
THE COYOTE
EDITORIAL BOARD
BRAD BAUGHMAN
STEPHEN LOWMAN
Editor-in-Chief
PATRICK WATSON
TAYLOR ST. JOHN
BRANDON BUCK
DOVE RAINBOW
Up Sluggard, Waste Not Life
By LINDSAY RUSSELL
In writing any sort of article on
cynicism, and in this case college cynicism,
the challenge is to do it so it doesn’t
ironically become just that, cynicism. The
purpose of this article isn’t to degrade
Albertson College academia or minimize
those people and activities that do exist. It
is merely an article to get the ball rolling,
to heighten the senses and in the end,
hopefully start a stronger, more eager
community discourse.
This article is in the form of a list of
questions, not in any certain order, but a
list, that if viewed candidly, should shed
light onto the perceived problem, both
here on Albertson’s campus and abroad.
The problem is that college students have
become complacent, comfortable, and
politically lazy. Students have come to take
views and beliefs as they are spoon fed to
them with little more than a snicker here
and a poorly written article there. If you
find yourself in a place to make a political
judgment or complain about current world
issues, then why not do something about
it? Why not take action?
“Up, sluggard, and waste not life; in the
grave will be sleeping enough.”
- Ben Franklin
Do you vote? If not, why? If so, why?
Who makes up George Bush’s Cabinet?
What position does Condoleezza Rice
currently fill?
Who are the forerunners and potential
candidates for the democratic and
republican ticket for the upcoming
presidential elections?
What platforms are each running on?
What do these candidates purpose we do
in Iraq?
Who will be their potential administration
be if elected?
Name one Supreme Court justice?
Who is Nancy Pelosi, and why is she so
significant?
When was the last time you gave money to
any PAC?
What is a PAC?
What is an NGO?
Have you ever worked or become involved
in any sort of election locally or abroad?
When was the last time you had a political
discussion outside of the classroom?
When was the last time you had a religious
discussion outside of the classroom?
When was the last time you had a political
or religious discussion with someone from
another university or college?
When was the last time you submitted to
any newspaper, The Coyote included?
When was the last time you criticized
someone who did?
Have you ever written to your local, state,
or national representatives?
New Juice
As a lifelong grapefruit juice enthusiast, I must say
that I find the new juice dispenser both inspiring and
delicious. I catch myself enjoying a glass or two each
time I dine at Simplot. It quenches my thirst, caresses
my taste buds, and fortifies my immune system with
essential vitamins such as C. I find it unfortunate that
grapefruit juice tends to have a bad reputation. I have
encountered many who simply turn up their noses and
say that the G.J. is too tart. You must embrace the tart.
Only then can you enjoy the subtle nuances of the juice
that is named after a different fruit. -Patrick Watson
4
A Dose of Reality from the
SUBCONTINENT
By TAYLOR ST. JOHN
“Caldwell is so boring/small/smelly/
other complaint.” At some point in your
time here at ACI, you’ve probably heard,
thought, or said something like that. And
I’m pretty sure I’ve done all three. But
there is nothing like spending a semester
in India to show me that I (we) don’t
have anything to complain about — and
in fact we’re damn lucky to live here. So
this editorial is my apology to Caldwell,
on behalf of anyone who has ever
complained or called C-town a dirty word.
Complaint: “The SATs/GREs are
ridiculous — how can one test
determine my entire future?!” Yes, the
SATs and GREs are stressful and over
hyped, but imagine knowing you have
to score in or above the 98th percentile
or you can kiss your chance of getting
in goodbye. Students here literally spend
years, entire years, day in and day out-of
their life preparing for one test, and still
face daunting 1 in 1,700 odds. Vocabulary
flashcards, anyone?
Complaint: “The water took forever to
warm up in my shower this morning.
The dorms showers are gross!” I
remember during my first semester in
Anderson I felt a cold shower warranted
a melodramatic call-of-woe home. Here,
I’ve never had hot water. Or a shower,
in fact. A bucket of icy water does the
job, for me and the other students. And
no melodramatic calls home this time,
because when you look outside and see
people showering (well, splashing water
out of a bucket) on the street corner,
you feel grateful for what you have —
including privacy.
Alternative Complaint (for off-campus
students): “Ugh. The commute
KILLED me today.” Yes, Caldwell is
30 miles from Boise or Ontario and no,
driving is not a fun or environmentally
sound way to spend time. But imagine
spending 3 hours each way standing on a
packed commuter train (7000 people on a
train built for 4000). My friend
Pradeep has done exactly that. 6
hours per day for 6
years.
Complaint: “Caldwell smells today.
I wonder what died in the Simplot
factory.” I don’t mean to belittle air
quality, because it is an important
issue that every community should
monitor and try to improve. However,
Caldwell has sweet, clean, and pure air
in comparison with most of the world.
Here, the immense traffic, wood-burning,
and lack of pollution controls or waste
management create so much haze and
such a smell that I think Bangalore will
always be in my lungs. For instance, try
blowing your nose — if black soot does
not emerge, you have proof that Caldwell
has better air quality than many cities. I
know, gross way to test, but before I ever
complain about the occasional C-town
odor again, I will imagine the long-term
damage that filth is causing to the lungs of
the people who live here.
Complaint: “Simplot is boring.” This
is one I’ve never said — somewhere
between the ice cream and the cookies I
find contentment — but in case you’ve
complained, consider this: breakfast here
includes bread-either plain (jam or butter
available) or toasted. Sometimes there
are dosas (pancake-y Indian snacks, often
with vegetables and spice included). That’s
it — and nothing to drink except water,
which is not recommended for drinking…
Lunch and dinner strongly resemble each
other: one buffet line where you serve
yourself from a large vat of white rice
and three masala (spicy vegetable or lentil)
containers. Sometimes there is chapatti
(like a tortilla, with a punch) available too.
That’s it, since the cafeteria is vegetarian
and traditionally food here is eaten without
silverware. Instead of a smiling lady and a
made-to-order meal, the cafeteria is staffed
by a rather intimidating crew of elderly
men, making sure you follow meal-fixing
procedure.
Daily power outages, cold showers, and
spicy food without water have not made
me love India any less. I’d come back here
any day. But I also got a big dose of the
reality that most
of the world’s
population lives
with — and
realized that
Caldwell is pretty
damn cool.
8 FEBRUARY 2007
Letters and Comics
OPINION
Dear Editor,
from such individuals, I
see no other way, except
for extensive workshops,
to protect myself from being mentioned in a bloody
murder case, or even a
rape case for that matter,
that involved my crutches.
Unless he has a different
solution in mind, workshops are our only hope.
Yours Truly,
Jenya Yakimova
The above is simply an observation. The artist would like to apologize to
the two baseball players who actually read this publication.
ISSUE #7
I love the idea of our
Student Union building
being turned into a
freeform canvas for
student expression
and art. However,
the unfinished
work, complete
with blanks, open
spaces and pencil
sketch lines that
currently haunts
McCain is begging to
be finished. I hope
inspiration returns
to the absentee
artists before they
find their next blank walls
of life.
-Ben Thomas
ALLI STRAUBHAR
Dear Editor,
I just wanted to express
how flattered I am that
Howard Berger mentioned
me in his latest column in
the Coyote on how to be a
good man. I agree, no one
at ACI has yet kicked my
crutches from under me,
neither man, nor woman,
nor a trans-gender person.
Although, I feel compelled
to inform him that various
people always try to steal
them from me and use as
a weapon against other
surrounding students.
So, perhaps, we still do
need workshops of such
kind to prevent unnecessary tragic injuries within
our student body. Since I
cannot hide my crutches
THE COYOTE
5
NEWS
THE COYOTE
Former Vice President Gives Talk at Boise State
By PATRICK WATSON
On Monday, Jan 22, former Vice
President Al Gore appeared before a sold
out Taco Bell Arena on the campus of Boise
State University. As keynote speaker of the
23rd Annual Frank Church Conference on
Public Affairs, Gore presented a slide show
and gave a speech reminiscent of his 2006
film An Inconvenient Truth. With over 10,000
in attendance, the atmosphere was electric.
The evening began with welcome addresses
from Frank Church Institute President
Byron Johnson, Boise State President Dr.
Robert Kustra, and Bethine Church, wife
of the late senator Frank Church. As Gore
took the stage,
the audience
welcomed him with a raucous standing
ovation.
Gore started out his presentation with
some humorous anecdotes
about the aftermath of the
2000 presidential election.
He then launched into some
more
serious
discourse
with the primary subject of
the evening: global climate
change. In a down-to-earth
manner, the former Vice
President described the basic
principal of human-produced
greenhouse gasses thickening
earth’s
atmosphere
and
causing a gradual increase in
climates worldwide.
As the evening progressed,
Gore touched on a number
of issues that have been on
the national forefront during
the past several years. Among
these issues were Hurricane
Katrina, the collapse of ice
formations in Antarctica, and
the melting of glaciers that
provide water for millions.
These phenomena could have catastrophic
impacts if they are not
stopped or reversed. Gore
presented
compelling
evidence in his slide show
that these problems can be
attributed to humanity’s apparent disregard
for the harmful amounts of carbon dioxide
and other greenhouse gasses it expels into
the atmosphere.
The imperative to address these
serious issues was emphasized. “This is
not a political issue, this is a moral issue,”
Gore said. He did, however, express the
importance of public policy later in the
presentation.
While much of Gore’s presentation
focused on global warming’s effect on
the planet as a whole, he
managed on several occasions
to illustrate the ways in which
Idaho is being affected. Gore
discussed how global climate
change can lead to species loss,
decreased tree health, and an
increase in mosquitoes, ticks,
and disease in the Gem State.
This placed an important
local perspective on a very
global issue.
Although much of the
material
presented
can
be viewed as gloomy and
pessimistic, the former Vice
President managed to impart
a sense of optimism and
hope. He described possible
solutions to our dependence
on fossil fuels such as solar
technologies, wind power,
and other renewable energy
sources. As Gore’s speech
drew to a close, a feeling
of empowerment seemed to sweep the
audience as they stood in uproarious
applause.
“We have everything we need except for
political will,” Gore said, “and in America,
political will is a renewable resource.”
Taylor St. John Awarded Prestigious Marshall Scholarship
By KERRY COSTIGAN-GALDES
She’s the girl everyone’s talking about.
She competes in triathlons, has worked as
an analyst for Morgan Stanley in London,
volunteers with the nonprofit Agency for
New Americans, and is currently studying
microfinance in India. Her favorite color is
red and she has been known to, “watch awful homemade clips,” on Youtube when she
probably should have been studying.
To top it all off, she was recently awarded
a prestigious and highly competitive British Marshall Scholarship valued at $60,000
which will allow her to study next year at
the British university of her choice. If you
have so much as glanced at the Albertson
College homepage in the past month, or if
you happened to look at this article’s title
before beginning to read, you know that
this girl is Albertson’s very own Taylor St.
John.
The Marshall Scholarship fund was created in 1953 both as a token of appreciation from the British for the help received
6
following the Second World War, and as a
way to expand upon the successful model
set by the Rhodes Scholarship fifty years
earlier. Past winners include a U.S. Supreme
Court Justice, several Pulitzer Prize Winners, and the Dean of Yale Law, among
others.
When asked her feelings, St. John said,
“My first thought is still, ‘Me? No way!’ It’s
an enormous honor, but I guess I’ve never
thought being put in a group with such accomplished people will change the fact that
I’m a silly teenager from Idaho.”
St. John plans to pursue a Masters of Philosophy in Development Studies at Oxford
next year, with a special interest in women
and microfinance. In a statement sent from
an internet café in India, St John said, “My
focus- microfinance- is providing tiny loans
to capable people, primarily women who
could not get a traditional loan. As I’m
learning here in India, the women do things
I would never think about with the money--
canned yak milk, anyone?-- and are very often successful: repayment is over 93% and
children are usually far less malnourished in
microfinance families…”
St. John is also quick to thank those who
have helped her. “I’m lucky to have a fantastic family and many excellent professors
who continually challenge and amaze me.
In terms of inspiration, though, I’ve always
looked up to the refugee women I teach-they face so many daily obstacles and burdens yet still come to class determined to
learn and succeed in this foreign (to them)
country.”
Still, she isn’t quite ready to let go of that
silly teenager image yet, as she has no problem admitting that she considers jumping
on the bed to be her most important habit,
and even did so in her hotel room prior to
her interview with the Marshall Scholarship
Commission. As explanation, she offers
these words: “How can you possibly be
nervous or afraid after doing that?”
8 FEBRUARY 2007
NEWS
THE COYOTE
BFS Chooses Beauty School Over ACI Kappa Sigma Alcohol Probation Extended
On the morning of Thursday, January
18th, Diana Smith, an admissions counselor,
sent an e-mail over the Student Official
stating that if enough students showed up
to the reader board on Cleveland Blvd. for
a photo shoot, there was chance that Bowling for Soup would come play in McCain
the next morning.
At 12:45, a surprising
mix of faculty, students
and generally hardcore
people wandered across
campus towards the sign.
When asked why he was
supporting Bowling for
Soup, even though it
wasn’t an 80’s band, Bert
Martin replied “It’s a rock
band, Baker. We’re doin’
it!”
Three guys were able to
mount the reader board,
with the help of Physical
Plant and their gear. “I’m counting this as a
roof,” Sam Hardy remarked, noting that he
was probably one of the first students to
make the reader board climb.
Meanwhile, someone hacked the sign to
display “WE BOWL FOR SOUP!” while
everyone else lined up for the shot. People
in front pretended to bowl, while everyone else just did their best to look sexy. We
knew Bowling for Soup would be there the
next morning for a show.
The next morning, everyone listened intently for the confirmation that we’d won.
Unfortunately, it turns out that a beauty
school had sent out a picture even more
appealing than our own. Being a rock band
composed of primarily single men, Bowling for Soup went the other way. Even so,
Magic 93.1 gave a shout-out to Albertson
College of Idaho on air for their job welldone. –Jon baker
By BRAD BAUGHMAN
April showers bring May… togas?
Brand new Kappa Sigma president Steven Oswald and two other officers drove
a long dry route to New Mexico on Jan 20
for a meeting with the National Executive
Committee. The purpose was to review
their progress as a fraternity since the alcohol probation imposed this last October.
The meeting was specifically called for
chapters under disciplinary review, and began with the expelling of individual members from houses around the nation. Then
came the presentation of cases by chapters,
which continued in a bleak, judicial manner.
“There was a very tense, negative feeling,”
Oswald said.
However, when Caldwell’s Lambda Chi
Chapter was called, the committee adopted
a more positive tone and praised them for
their considerable progress in areas such
as community service. This progress
was not, however, enough to lift the
ban on alcohol.
“The committee’s policy on removing any sanction is to only do
so when the chapter demonstrates
that they are running at peak performance,” District advisor Kelly Hagens
commented by email, “Overall, the meeting
went very well and served to set a few clear
goals which will put the chapter not only
in good standing with the executive committee again, but position them well to win
a Founders’ Award for Chapter Excellence
(FACE).”
The FACE Award is one of the highest awards given by the National Executive
Committee. President Oswald declined to
comment on the record as to which areas
needed to be improved to attain this goal,
but said that the fraternity has “taken care”
of most of them, and will almost certainly
earn the award and gain back full privileges
by sometime this
April.
Car Burglaries Happen. Don’t Be a Victim.
By DOVE RAINBOW
Stereo missing. Dashboard suffered
considerable damage. Purse rifled through,
credit cards stolen. Car burglaries are one
of the most common crimes committed on
the ACI campus.
No leads on the latest car burglary that
occurred in the Village parking lot. “Typical,” said Campus Safety Officer Cheryl
Holt. “Unless the Caldwell Police Department comes up with some missing items
that match the description of what’s been
stolen, items are generally not recovered
and it’s hard to find who committed the
crime.”
That’s bad news for four individuals who
were recently the unlucky recipients of
some negative vehicular attention. Someone stole various items, including stereos
and faceplates, from four vehicles in the
Village parking lot on December 28, 2006.
Who stole the goods? Well, we don’t
know, and it is unlikely that we are going to
find out. But getting depressed would be a
premature reaction. While Campus Safety
might not be able to track down the bandits who break windows and nab purses,
the good news is that they are working to
prevent such personal tragedies.
“Theft always goes up around the holidays,” Holt said. “We usually get hit pretty
hard starting in November and continu-
ISSUE #7
ing through the winter months. Burglaries
sometimes happen more often in February because of Valentines Day.” Ever since
Campus Safety got the trusty SUV — beloved despite the handle on the left back
door that is mysteriously broken off — the
campus has been hit lightly.
Officer Holt attributed the recent burglary reduction to the department’s proactive attitude and the relative ease of patrolling made possible by the new vehicle.
According to Holt, being proactive helps
to prevent burglaries before they become
a problem. Officers patrol the campus
frequently, especially in the
evening and wee hours
of the morning.
Burglaries tend
to occur in the
hours between
two and five
in the morning.
Exciting things
do not usually
happen during
these hours,
so officers are
free to patrol
as often as two
to three times
an hour. Cam-
pus Safety patrols, much as they ward off
many wary burglars, cannot keep every car
safe at every moment.
Avoid being looted. It is not hard to help
your car lose its vulnerable allure. While
locking the doors helps, windows are, after
all, only a thin sheet of glass that can easily be broken. Car alarms help if you have
them, but the real trick is to make your vehicle look as un-enticing as possible. A burglar wants to look in your car and see a purse
on the driver’s
seat.
They want to see an expensive stereo faceplate, or a wallet lying on the dash. While
they are generally not going to break a window to steal your pile of sweaty gym gear
in the back seat, it helps to keep your car
clean.
“If someone looks in and sees nothing,
what are they going to steal?” Holt said.
Best advice: clean up, lock up, and do not
leave your social security card in the glove
box.
7
NEWS
THE COYOTE
Developers Visit ACI, Discuss Student Housing
With the possibilty of a new residence hall, renovations to Hayman and the impending fate of Simplot, campus life at the college is on the verge of change.
By PATRICK WATSON
On Jan 18 the Albertson College of Idaho
Housing Committee met with developers
to discuss the proposed addition of a new
residence hall at the college as well as the
renovation of Hayman Hall. Among those
present were Ned Warnick of Design West
Architects, Nicole Cecil of Armstrong
Planning and Design, and Cade Lawrence
of Hoffman Construction Company.
The first topic of discussion was the
feasibility of implementing environmentally
friendly and sustainable technology and
design in the proposed building. According
to student feedback at a meeting with the
developers on Jan 11, sustainable design is
a priority for many. Despite this, financial
constraints must be considered when
including green technology. “Sustainability
is important. Our job is to find a way to
balance it.” Warnick said.
Student input on the project was not
simply limited to sustainable design. Features
such as access to technology, privacy, co-ed
environment, and natural lighting were also
high up on the list. Student involvement
in the design process continues to be
welcomed and encouraged.
Another important issue of discussion
was the floor plan layout for the proposed
residence hall. Many students in attendance
at the Jan 11 meeting seemed to favor a suite
style design. This involves several — usually
8
four — bedrooms oriented around a living
room and kitchenette. Each unit would also
contain a bathroom, which would be shared
by the inhabitants. Such a building would
likely contain a large common area on the
main floor and would probably stand three
or four stories to match the current scale
of the campus.
The proposed facility is intended for
primary use by upper class students
while Hayman would remain a freshman
residence. Since the third year residency
requirement approved by the ACI Board
of Trustees last fall is contingent on the
addition of on-campus housing, it will not
be implemented unless a new residence hall
is constructed.
The fate of Simplot Hall was also a topic of
conversation at the meeting. Simplot, which
is currently uninhabited, will most likely be
demolished in the near future. Until then,
it might have to be opened temporarily if
enrollment continues to increase and extra
on-campus accommodation is required.
Residence Life hopes to have updated
enrollment projections as early as possible.
If the projections are high enough, the
south wing of Simplot may have to be
opened.
The prospect of living in Simplot Hall is
not what many ACI students would describe
as desirable. The popular conception of
Simplot is that it is a dank, rickety building
with asbestos seeping through the walls.
This is a misconception, however.
According to Physical Plant,
the asbestos in the
residence hall is
The south wing of Simplot Hall whose fate remains ambiguous
contained and poses no threat. A thorough
cleaning and several technological upgrades
are all that is required to make Simplot
suitable for living. Another incorrect
conception about the building is that it
was condemned. Rather, it was closed for
energy saving purposes in 2003. According
to estimates, the cost of reopening Simplot’s
south wing would be around $50,000.
fundraising efforts. If funds are secured as
early as spring of this year, the new building
could be open and operational as soon as
fall of 2008. According to Cade Lawrence,
the construction process would take, at
most, 12 months. If funding for the facility
comes later, an opening date of fall 2009
can be expected.
The retrofitting of Hayman Hall adds
A possible site for the proposed resisdence hall
If and when Simplot is demolished,
there arises a certain degree of concern
as it is attached to ACI’s primary dinning
facility. The demolition of Simplot would
not be for the purpose of accommodating
the construction of the new facility. The
proposed location for the new building
is facing Finney Hall on the Cleveland
Boulevard side of the campus.
Simplot would be carefully
severed from the dining hall
component before being
razed. The “hole” left in
the dining hall would
then be patched up,
making the dining hall
a stand-alone building.
The footprint left over
from Simplot Hall
could serve a variety
of purposes including
auxiliary parking space.
Possible funding
sources for the new
residence hall could
come from a variety of
sources. These include
support from various
foundations
and
pressure to the situation. The process would
most likely take six to eight months and
would involve improvements in lighting,
flooring, furniture and paint. According
to developers, the remodel would be more
cost effective to undergo all at once rather
than in increments. Since this particular
plan would overlap with the school year,
Simplot or the new residence hall (if it is
complete) could serve as a housing option
for displaced Haymanites. The relative
isolation of Hayman’s north and south
wings could work to the advantage of
another plan of action. “We could renovate
Hayman one wing at a time,” Lawrence
said.
A follow-up student meeting on the
evening of Jan 18 provided further insight
into the proposed housing projects. This
meeting was better attended and provided
a more diverse cross-section of the student
body as compared to the meeting a week
earlier. Much of the input given at the first
meeting was addressed and was widely
supported by those in attendance. Expect
to see the development team back at
ACI within the next several months with
preliminary design ideas.
8 FEBRUARY 2007
SPORTS
THE COYOTE
ACI Ski and Snowboard Teams Dominate
By DOVE RAINBOW
ACI boasts hardworking, hard-bodied
athletes for every season. And for every
sport, there is an obnoxiously supportive
crowd of fans. We sing our “olays” and
bang pots and pans to cheer them on.
We scream at refs and shout insults at the
opposing players to defend our team’s
honor. We perform the most ridiculous
antics to win schwag at their games.
Not every team, however, gets the same
amount of on-site support. Most college
kids don’t want to drive 14 hours to stand
on a cold, snow-covered hill and watch
people skim snow at breakneck speeds,
one after another, for hours at a time.
The ACI ski team lost some top-seed
racers last year to the perils of graduation.
We can’t be sure where our prized athletes
disappear to once they break the bonds of
college life, but we have got a pretty good
guess as to where this year’s ski team is
headed. Red Lodge, Montana and Winterpark, Colorado, for Regionals and Nationals.
With senior Lauren White just recovering from a season-long injury and the
team sustaining a loss of three women
graduates, the women’s team has had
a few obstacles to conquer this year.
“Having a smaller team this year means
we can all become closer teammates and
support each other more,” said senior Molly Bullard. “We’ve all been working really
hard to support and encourage each other,
on and off the hill.”
Their hard work has paid off, and
the girls are racing faster than ever, with
some great team finishes as a result. The
women’s team boasts five members in the
top ten individual spots. Bullard finished
six seconds ahead of the closest competitor at Brundage Mountain on Saturday, Jan 27; a vast expanse in skier’s time.
Undefeated in the Northwest Conference, they
seem to be
jumping
these obstacles with
the strength
and grace
of women
who
have been
strapped
to snowb o u n d
s t i c k s
since they
were two
years old.
Stepping it up into the race boots of
teams from years past, the men’s team
has won three of the four races they have
competed in so far, despite losing two of
their fastest members to graduation. Individually, Kevin Makinson, Aaron Flynn,
Tom Elias and Will Moss dominate the
Coyote Athletics May Switch Divisions
By DANIEL THRASHER
Albertson has been in the NAIA since
the 1950s. Sometimes, though, change is a
good thing. College faculty and the Board
of Trustees have been considering a switch
from the NAIA to NCAA Division 3. While
this decision wouldn’t immediately affect
any of the students at ACI, a switch could
conceivably be made in as few as 3 years.
Currently, the NCAA is not accepting new
schools. Albertson plans to apply as soon
as the moratorium on admission is lifted.
The school is hopeful because the NCAA
has just recently decided that if a region of
the country needs membership, they can
be put at the top of the waiting list. Since
approximately 95% of the NCAA is along
the east coast, Albertson is confident that it
can be among the limited schools allowed
to join.
Essentially, the NCAA is more competitive
and a much larger organization than the
NAIA. While the NAIA emphasizes
ISSUE #7
champions of character and selfgovernance, the NCAA is all about winning
and the money involved (it’s a big business).
There are some compelling reasons for
Albertson to switch to the NCAA, as well
as some serious disadvantages.
The main advantage to switching is
that, through the Northwest Conference,
ACI would be seen on more of a level
playing field with other private liberal arts
colleges in the Northwest, such as Puget
Sound and Linfield. This means ACI would
likely be rated higher, considering most top
100 liberal arts colleges are in the NCAA
Division 3. Post-season travel is fully paid
for by the NCAA, unlike the NAIA. In
addition, the NCAA officially supports
lacrosse, among other sports, that the
NAIA may not.
A big disadvantage of switching to the
NCAA Division 3 is that coaches can’t give
out athletic scholarships or any financial
aid to players. This is of concern to both
coaches and prospective players. Also, it
is more difficult to get to nationals while
belonging to the NCAA as opposed to
the NAIA. There is an exploratory year
followed by some provisional years, during
which there is no post-season play. This,
coupled with the lack of financial aid, could
possibly result in the loss of some good
players in the coming years.
The decision is certainly not without
its drawbacks, but it is still only being
considered, and the option to apply won’t
even be available until June 2008 at the
earliest. That said, don’t worry about it too
much: the majority of us will hopefully
have graduated 3 years from now or fewer
(if you haven’t, there are bigger problems
than this for you to worry about). Above
all, just keep supporting ACI sports. One
of the best advantages a sports team can
have is a lot of loyal fans.
top four spots in the Northwest Conference. Each of them has shot down
the mountain fast enough to place first
or second in at least one race this year.
William Moss took second at 49 Degrees North on Jan 23. The day after,
Aaron Flynn flashed past the finish line
just in time to win first place. The top
three spots were seized by Kevin Makinson, Tom Elias, and Matt Weaver, respectively, at Brundage Mountain on Jan 27.
On Jan 28, Tom Elias took in another 2nd place finish to win the overall
for the ACI Invitational. Sam Elias, the
last name to be engraved into the trophy in JAIC, will now have the younger
Elias brother etched in below his name.
Boys and girls alike are excited to compete at Red Lodge and Winterpark, but for
now their hard work is being spent on doing well at conference races and scoping
out the competition. Since we probably
won’t be on the slope with them, banging
our pots and pans in drunken revelry and
shouting at their competition, let’s wish
them a little ACI luck before they head off
into the cold.
Yotes Basketball Shocks
4th-Ranked Warner Pacific
The Coyote men’s basketball team beat
the fourth-ranked Knights of Warner
Pacific in one of the most exciting games
to be played at the JA Albertson Activities
Center.
A quick start propelled the Yotes to
a comfortable first half lead, but a late
run by Warner Pacific cut the Coyote lead
to one at the half. In the second half the
Coyotes saw their slim lead disappear and
then a massive deficit grow.
Despite falling behind by 16 points
midway through the second half, the
Coyotes charged back led by a game-high
34 points from Brandon Nielsen and 25
points from Ike Stafford.
The comeback was fueled by a barrage
of three pointers from Stafford, Brandon
Nielsen, and Kurt Nielson, whose six
points would come by way of two decisive
three-pointers that kept the Coyote run
alive.
The Knights tried to steal the Yotes
glory and mount a frantic comeback effort
in the waning moments of the game, but
good defense, clutch free throw shooting,
and a near frantic crowd would preserve
the Coyote victory. In the end, the Yotes
beat the conference-leading Knights 10195 in dramatic fashion. —Chris Rifer
9
By SCOTT LAKE
It would be foolish to start a football
program — to spend millions of dollars buying equipment, upgrading the
workout facilities to accommodate the
increased use, hiring coaches, recruiting players, providing scholarships for
those players, and building a venue for
them to play in — considering the current state of affairs at ACI. Perhaps, if
enrollment continues to grow and the
college is able to upgrade student housing and academic resources, provide
more support for existing sports such
as lacrosse and swimming, and make
funds available to enable the track and
ski teams to travel without having to
solicit money from their classmates,
then it might make sense to consider a
football program. But to take that step
now would be putting the cart before
the horse.
A football team needs fans in order to survive; it needs the support and
revenue of a loyal following. And building such a following for Coyote football would be an uphill battle, especially
when you consider the immensely popular division one football powerhouse
thirty miles down the road. We could
get lucky with a team that plays well,
wins games, and attracts a dedicated fan
base relatively quickly. But we could also
be like the University of Idaho, whose
football program limps along
like a wounded animal. Despite the enormous amounts
of money spent on it, the team keeps
losing, and attendance to
most U of I home games
remains pitiful. And no
matter how many times
U of I tries to turn the
program around by
changing conferences or hiring a
new coach, football still ends up
costing the university millions.
Besides, we
don’t need another sport in the
fall. Students already turn out to root for
soccer and volleyball. We
don’t need football to draw fans away
form these sports, which have become
traditions at ACI. Students already get
excited about soccer and volleyball;
they get so excited that they bring pots
10
and pans and air horns to the games,
insult the other team’s players’ mothers,
and get kicked out for being too rowdy.
And it would be a lot easier — if more
money is to be spent on athletics — for
the college to look at ways to enhance
the experience of watching a soccer
game or volleyball match.
Compared to a lot of other schools,
we have a close-knit community at ACI,
and I think one of the strengths of this
community is the way in which we are
able to rally around sports, such as soccer, that don’t usually get a lot of attention or airplay. If it were successful,
football would dramatically change the
unique culture of the athletic department and, as a result, the entire campus.
It would also be one more step toward
the athletic elitism and favoritism that
is so rampant in college athletics today.
It’s hard to imagine a football program
that doesn’t demand more money and
more attention than all of the other
sports. We don’t need that at ACI.
Let’s look to more immediate goals,
like raising enrollment, upgrading student housing, and providing
adequate
funding to both academics
and athletics before
we start
dreaming about a
football team. And
even if we do, in
the future, decide to
think about football
once again, let’s first rememb e r what we have: a
close-knit
community
of
students
that,
for its
size,
gives
a
tremendous
amount of support to its athletes. Let’s
not irrevocably alter the culture of Coyote athletics and the campus as a whole
with football.
The Future
By JAMES WESTPHAL
While there are certainly discussions
to be had about whether or not football
and Albertson College are compatible
culturally, the most dangerous aspect about
the potential reinstitution of football is
financial.
The Report on the Feasibility of Football
states that the addition of a football team
could add 70 or more new students to the
College that would have otherwise gone
elsewhere in its first year. Interestingly, the
Report also notes that as of its completion
in 2004, there were about 76 small-college
football players in the Northwest from
the Gem State. This would be the Coyote
football recruiting base.
That number of 76, however, looks a
lot less impressive when one realizes that
those 76 players are spread out over 4 years.
If 2004 were a relatively
normal year, only about
19 players would be
coming out of Idaho
high schools to play
football for small colleges in
the region per year. Suddenly,
that goal of 70 new students
in the first year looks
a lot more daunting.
Furthermore,
the
Report
insists
that
academic
standards
would not be
compromised
for
the
enrollment
of
football players. This
makes achieving the goal of 70 new
students even more daunting considering
high school football players from the area
on average have lower GPAs and ACT
scores than the average incoming ACI
freshman.
While it is true that the College would
face no in-state competition for smallcollege football players, the competition
in the region is stiff. Out of the twelve
NAIA or NCAA Division III footballplaying colleges in Oregon, Washington,
Four Opi
and Montana, three have won National
Championships in their respective divisions
within the last decade. These schools as
well as the other successful programs in the
region will provide significant competition
for future small-college football players
coming out of Idaho.
Moreover, recruiting quality athletes to a
new program is very difficult. Most athletes
want to win, and very few new football
programs see immediate success. This just
makes the challenge of recruiting 70
new students all that much harder.
Finally, there is significant financial
risk involved in starting a football
program. The reinstitution of football
comes with significant costs including the
team’s budget, additional faculty and staff,
and new or renovated facilities.
Even with significant fundraising, it is
projected that the football program would
have to bring 60-65 new students
that would not have otherwise
come to ACI in its first year
just to break even. As we
have already established,
this is a very tall order.
While the College’s
financial
stability
has
dramatically
improved over the
last half decade,
ACI is still a far cry
from being loaded
with expendable money.
Simply put, Albertson
can ill-afford to absorb the
financial blow should the
football program fall short of its
lofty recruitment goals.
Perhaps when the College is in a
more comfortable financial situation
the reinstitution of football might be
more feasible, but until then any move
to reinstitute football is, at best,
irresponsible. The risk that the
reinstitution of football poses
to the College’s financial
health is far too high a price
to pay for a fun thing to do on
Saturday afternoons.
e of Football at ACI
inions on the Possibilities of America’s Favorite
Fall Sport Returning to Simplot Stadium
By DR. PHILLIP NOISEWATER
As ACI emerges from the deepest
financial crisis in its 116-year history, it is
faced with a series of challenges. Five years
ago the College was wondering whether it
would still be in business. Today, the College
is quickly becoming one of the top liberal
arts colleges in the country.
Two major hurdles, however, stand in the
way of ACI being recognized as one of the
best small colleges in the land: enrollment
and alumni participation. There is, however,
one opportunity to clear both
of these hurdles and propel the
College into national notoriety and
make ACI a better place to live and
learn: Football.
To put it quite simply, ACI needs
to get bigger. Not too much
bigger, but a little bit bigger.
An increase in enrollment
would allow the College to hire
more faculty, pay our current
faculty the salaries that they
deserve, and in turn provide
the students of the College a
better education.
Football provides the
College an easy way to grow its
enrollment, balance the gender
ratio on campus (sorry guys), grow our
academic programs, and provide another
exciting aspect to campus life.
According to the Report on Football
Feasibility, by the time an Albertson
College team would snap its first football
at Simplot Stadium it would have added
approximately 70 new students to the
College. That, in and of itself,
would grow ACI’s enrollment
to well over 900 students, and
with otherwise expected
growth at ACI occurring,
could very well put the
College at 1,000 students,
which is just about where we
want to be.
There are a lot more women than
men at ACI. While some have benefited
greatly from this gender inequality, a more
balanced gender ratio on campus would
do the College and campus life well, and
with the addition of between 70 and 115
football players, we would have a gender
balance at ACI.
Football would also provide another
exciting aspect to Fall Term. On College
campuses big and small
across the country,
football home games
are some of the most
fun, exciting events of the
year. From tailgating
to getting rowdy
at games, a
football
team gives
campus
life
at
ACI a shot
i n
the
arm.
Moreover,
Homecoming
Weekend at ACI would be huge! Think of
this: 11:00 – Women’s Soccer, 1:30 – Men’s
Soccer, 4:00 – Football, 7:30 – Volleyball,
with tailgating and partying going on all
day. The addition of football would create
an entire Saturday of ACI sports that would
make any warm-blooded Coyote fan giddy.
Football was a tradition at the C of I
for more than 50 years. There are a large
number of C of I alumni that would love
to see football come back. These alumni
include Governor Butch Otter and former
San Francisco 49ers star R.C. Owens. One
of the criteria that ACI needs to improve
is alumni involvement, and
football gives us the perfect
opportunity to do that.
In the end, football
promises to be good for
both the students and the
institution. It will provide
another opportunity for
students to go out and have a
blast on Saturday afternoons
and help the College grow and
meet the goals that have been
set for it.
By NATALIE HATCH
ACI is getting a football team! Well
maybe not just yet, but we should.
There is nothing quite like small college
football. Seriously, can you remember
any time in your college experience that
you have drank a beer and ate a hotdog with your professors at a tailgate
party? Bringing a football team to ACI
would allow this opportunity, but more
importantly, many other great things
would come out of it.
I know there are people on campus
that think football players are going to
bring a “macho” mentality to the school.
While some of the players might have
this type of personality, most of the
players won’t. It is so easy to stereotype
the kind of people who participate on
sporting teams, but, I think we all know
players on the baseball team, basketball
team or cross country team who don’t
fit that stereotypical image. To say that
all football players are going to bring a
bad image is like saying all athletes who
participate in cross country are nerds, all
basketball players are gangsters and all
baseball players are mean, tobacco-spitting chumps. This just isn’t the case.
Oh, and by the way, in case anybody
hasn’t noticed ACI is largely becoming
a women’s school. With over 63 percent
of the population already female, a few
more percentage points could easily
lead to ACI quickly becoming an allwomen’s school. Bringing on a football
team will greatly help to balance out
the male-to-female ratio. Ladies…how
could you not like that?
Starting a football program at ACI
will also help generate greatly needed revenue for the college. Right
now, there is $5,000,000 in unpaid scholarships, which means
we are giving out $5 million in
scholarships that we don’t have
the funds to back up. While some
scholarships will be given to the
football players, the net effect is an
increase in revenue for the college.
One thing I am sick and tired of
hearing about is the “low GPA” of
football players. Right now, 1/3 of
the students on the ACI campus are
athletes. I never hear anybody complain
about their GPA’s. This is another stereotype. If we only listened to stereotypes, then we wouldn’t have let in any
of the skiers or snowboarders because
their GPA’s would have been too low
from drinking too much and smoking
too much weed. Academic qualifications will still have to be met for individuals to get accepted to ACI, regardless of whether they are football players or not.
Another great reason why there
should be a football team at ACI is because there are a lot of good players in
the Treasure Valley that end up going
out-of-state to play for colleges similar
to ACI.
One last point I would like to make
is that having a football team at ACI
would get alumni involved. It is fact that
people in this area love football. Many
of the alumni would be willing to come
back to watch a team at ACI play. When
the alumni are watching the game, they
are going to remember all the good
times they had when they were at ACI
(or maybe for some it was The College
of Idaho). Alumni contributions would
increase dramatically. Also, there are already guaranteed donors who will put
forth all the start-up costs necessary for
a football team.
11
NEWS
THE COYOTE
What Lies Beneath?
Scott Lake ventures among Gemsboks and African
Bushbucks in the basement of Boone
The Orma J. Smith Museum of Natural
History is not in the most conspicuous of
locations. It’s in the basement of Boone
Hall, at the intersection of a long, narrow
staircase and a longer hallway. If, like me,
you’ve spent less than five minutes in Boone
for the entirety of your time at Albertson
College, you may have never taken the
time to consider what’s down there. Even
if you are a Boonie — and I’ve spoken to
several for whom this is the case — there’s
a good
chance you’ve
never had
an inkling to explore the museum. So on a
calm, sunny, Wednesday afternoon when I
had a little time on my hands and felt a bit
curious, I descended into the sheet metal
and cinder block basement of Boone to
check it out.
The Museum currently has an extensive
collection of zoological and archeological
artifacts on display, including a impressive
amount of taxidermy. Its collection of
stuffed critters ranges from familiar,
mundane North American specimens —
white-tailed
deer, black bear, coyote,
and red squirrel — to
more exotic mega
fauna such as the
east African bushbuck
— a small, antelope-like
beast with a large head and
skinny legs that stands only
three feet off the ground
— and a gemsbok, which
looks like what you would
get if you mixed a cow with
a gazelle and added two threeand-a-half foot straight, black
horns. The zoological collection
also includes literally hundreds of
birds, spanning the range of ornithological
variety from songbirds such has sparrows
and finches to owls, eagles, waterfowl,
to more exotic species such as the great
bustard — a mini ostrich with whiskers.
In addition to taxidermy, there are several
prehistoric fossils, the most impressive of
which is the intact skull of a long horned
bison — a bovine with an enormous head
selection of local bugs, as well as some of
enormous beetles, such as the stag beetle,
with its inch-and-a-half long pinchers and
the largest insect on the planet, the goliath
beetle.
The exhibits at the museum are not
limited to zoology and paleontology. It is
currently exhibiting a wide variety of Native
American artifacts such as arrowheads from
and even bigger horns that went extinct
about 20,000 years ago — found near
American Falls. Also included are the
fossilized remains of numerous prehistoric
marine snail shells found in Owyhee county,
and stones imprinted with the fossils of
prehistoric fish and tree leaves.
There are several cases containing
preserved insects on display, including a
various regions of Idaho, Hopi pottery,
Navajo textiles, and stone tools such as
scrapers, choppers, and sharpening stones.
So next time you have an hour or so to kill,
consider stopping by the Orma J. Smith
museum. There are plenty of interesting
and even downright quirky things to check
out. The museum is open whenever classes
are in session.
Pulitzer Prize Photos Grace Campus
By KATE RADFORD
Albertson College is hosting an
exhibit of over 130 Pulitzer Prize winning
photographs. This exhibit, entitled
“Capture the Moment,” will be on display
during both winter and spring terms. It
opens January 30 and runs until March 11.
The exhibit is divided into decades and will
progress from Jewett, to Langroise, to the
Rosenthal Gallery and finally to Hendren
Hall. Professor Alan Minskoff, who began
efforts to get the exhibit to campus, said
in an interview that the photos are very
large and powerful and that the setup of
the display encourages people to stop and
contemplate. “There’s heroism and horror
in these photos,” he said.
Minskoff began fundraising for this
project over sixteen months ago. “It’s
been a big project,” he said. Minskoff met
the exhibit’s curator, Cyma Rubin, about
two years ago and began working to get
the photographs to ACI. Rubin will give
a lecture January 27th at 8 p.m. on the
exhibit. “She’s in her seventies, and she
boxes,” Minskoff said of her.
12
“It’s kind of like the beginning of a
Dickens’ novel,” said Minskoff. “It was the
best of times, it was the worst of times.”
The exhibit, which costs $25,000 to rent
for three months, carries a total budget
of about $75,000. About two months ago,
Minskoff didn’t think the school would be
able to raise enough money. He met with
President Hoover who spoke with the
Board of Directors. Pete O’Neil, a member
of the Board, contacted the Albertson’s
Foundation who contributed money. The
Idaho Statesman is also sponsoring the
exhibit. Minskoff said that fourteen or
fifteen donors pitched in to help. “I think
it’s going to be well worth it for our students
and our community.”
“It’s a collaborative effort,” he said. “I
need to give credit to Pamela Lassiter who
wrote the grants with Lara
VanDer
Woude. Chris
Anton,
Bob
Hoover,
and
has
I’m really
campus’s
guys.” Cuttlers
physical plant
photos in all the
making sure they
the safest
methods
possible.
The
exhibit
i
s
Shaneen Hahn
were all
supportive.
D.C. Cuttlers
been
remarkable.
indebted to the
physical plant
and other
staff hung
buildings,
used
expected to draw people to the College
from Boise and the rest of the Treasure
Valley. Minskoff is hoping for 2500 to 3000
visitors each week. “We are most concerned
that everybody respect these photographs,”
said Minskoff. “It’s really a privilege to have
this on our campus.”
Jan Book, a local organic farmer, is the
project manager for the three months the
exhibit is on campus. The photos are open
to veiwing Tuesdays through Fridays from
5 p.m.-8 p.m., Saturdays from 10 a.m.-5
p.m., and Sundays 12 p.m.-5 p.m.
8 FEBRUARY 2007
ESSAY
THE COYOTE
GOT CONSENT?
By CIARA TIPPIN
To tell you the truth I still haven’t
completely come to terms with the whole
ordeal…
7:00 am: Wake up after 5½ hours of
sleep to go workout. 8:00: Shower and get
ready for the day. 9:00: Start writing this article. 10:10: Go to class. 11:30: Go to work
study in McCain and grab lunch while I’m
there. 1:30: Walk to Albertson’s to grab
food for an event later today. 2:00: Be in
Shannon Library for a study session until
4:00. 3:00: Meet sorority sisters to work
on a project until 5:00 (and yes that was
me being in two places at one time, a feat
which I have become quite good at over the
years). 4:00: Concurrently run a meeting for
a philanthropy event I am heading. 6:00:
Grab dinner at home. 6:30: Try to make it
to an optional Bible Study. 7:00: Go back
to Shannon Library to supervise another
study session. 8:00: Go back to work study
in McCain which technically I’m an hour
late for but luckily I got someone to cover.
11:00 pm: Go home and start my homework.
Yep, just another Thursday in the life of
Ciara Tippin. It runs like clockwork; it’s the
only way to guarantee that things get done.
My day planner is my Bible.
So if you didn’t already know me,
that’s just a small glimpse of my life. You
are probably saying to yourself, “this girl
is insane. How does she manage to run the
universe (and for the record I’ve heard that
said about myself on more than one occasion) and still maintain a decent GPA?” It’s
because I’m crazy, a control freak, organized,
involved, a leader, in charge, and most of all
nonstop.
Realize that this isn’t some ploy to get
you all to feel sorry for me and my busy
life. In fact I’m embarrassed to even admit
ISSUE #7
that I spend so much of my time hopping
from one meeting to the next because it
makes me look psychotic. I’m not trying to
impress you by my daily laundry list, only
warn you that even the most organized, put
together people can still be at risk.
Huh? At risk of what? …Rape.
That’s right, I was raped. If you know
me and didn’t already know this about me, I
know the exact look that you have on your
face right now. Your jaw has dropped, your
eyes are wide open, and you don’t know
what to say or do except to gulp down that
giant lump in your throat. I know this look
because I have seen it so many times. You
see, I’m not scared to tell anyone about
what happened to me because I know that
my story has the potential of keeping others safe.
How so? By engraining it in their heads
that it can happen to anyone, anywhere,
anytime! In my case I ran into an old friend
last spring break and let’s just say our encounter wasn’t exactly like the good ‘ole
times we spent hanging out in high school.
Oddly enough, I wasn’t drinking, wasn’t at
a party, wasn’t wearing a short skirt nor a
low-cut top, and I wasn’t following the usual protocol for every rape victim you hear
about these days. I mean, we went bowling
for Christ’s sake!
I suppressed the events from my conscious self and everyone else for the next
two weeks. It took a concerned friend asking “Kida, are you okay?”, before I finally
woke up and started dealing with what had
happened. Until then I was in denial. I was
sure that nothing like this was ever going
to happen to me—I was too careful, too
put together, too in charge of my life to let
someone intrude so invasively. I kept telling myself over and over that I wasn’t one
of those girls. I wasn’t a victim. To tell you
the truth I still haven’t completely come to
terms with the whole ordeal, but everyone
keeps telling me to remain patient and it
will come. For now, all I can do is what I do
best—help others.
That is why I am encouraging each and
every one of you to keep yourself safe by
learning about what is and isn’t okay. There’s
an optional Got Consent? program that will
be happening February 12th and 13th. It is a
perfect opportunity for you to become immersed in the topic. I know no one wants
to talk about this stuff, but it is important,
especially if you are one of those people
who think it will never happen to you.
For the record, no, I’m not being slipped
money under the table to get you to attend.
Independent of the Dean of Students, independent of the Women’s and Men’s Center,
independent of all the politics surrounding
this event, I am urging you to go because
I believe whole heartedly in the message.
Why? Because without it I’d still be sitting
in my room crying for hours thinking I was
the one who had violated him. It’s amazing how even the most intelligent, peoplesavvy individuals can be unaware of what’s
really going on. I know you all think you
can tell when you’ve been taken advantage
of, but you’d be surprised to know just how
susceptible you are to manipulation.
If for no other reason, go because someone who cares is waiting and willing to listen.
13
FEATURE
THE COYOTE
Questionable Advice for a Questionable Holiday
Dove Rainbow takes a critical look at Valentine’s Day: the hopes, the fears and dropping acid
Remember the creepy girl in The Ring
who crawls out of the television? The one
you picture crawling up next to your bed
while you try to sleep, with her
wide-eyes watching you and
ancient well-water dripping
off her body? Next time
you’re about to
pull the covers over your head and shiver
until you fall asleep, picture the young lady
with a big red heart stuck to her forehead.
That’s right, folks. Valentine’s Day is
coming, straight from the television
to tug at our heartstrings, wallets,
critical psyches and, some of us
hope, our bed sheets.
We’re all familiar with
the age-old trepidation
of this designated day
of love: The nervousness
of new lovers defining their
relationship, the expectation
and steeling for disappointment
of
long-term couples, and
the seemingly forced loneliness
for those of us who are doomed to
Pick Your Potion
Valentine’s Day can be a romantic
refuge from the troubles of ordinary
life. It can be a day where you wake
your lover with a rose and a kiss and fall
asleep together with a blissful champagne
“Sunset in a Glass.” It can be a few hours
of red-hot lust punctuated with peach
schnapps and sugary grenadine. And for
some of us, with tastes that arguably have
their own drumbeat, it can be a period of
experimentation with bouillon cubes and
egg yolks. Whatever Valentine’s Day is to
you, there’s an over-21 escort to get you
there.
Valentine’s Day Cherry Bomb
1 oz Brandy
½ oz Triple Sec
1 Egg yolk
1 Tsp Grenadine
4 Ice cubes
Combine brandy, triple sec, egg yolk,
grenadine, and ice cubes in shaker.
Strain into glass (or red Dixie cup, as the
case may be).
Valentine’s Day Hot Shot
1 Cube beef bouillon
Boiling water
1 ½ oz Tequila
Seasonings as desired
Dissolve bouillon cube in mug of boiling
14
water. Add tequila and season to taste.
Valentine’s Day Woo Woo
½ oz Peach Schnapps
½ oz Vodka
1 ½ oz Cranberry juice
1 ½ oz Orange juice
Serve on the rocks.
Red Hot Lover
2 oz Peach Schnapps
2 oz Vodka
1 dash Grenadine
2 ½ oz Orange juice
2 ½ oz Strawberry Margarita Mix
Combine ingredients in cocktail shaker
with ice. Shake and strain into a glass filled
with ice.
Sunset in a Glass
2 parts Champagne
2 shots Peach Schnapps
1 shot Cranberry juice
1 splash Orange juice
Mix all ingredients, adding champagne last.
Shake over ice and pour into a champagne
flute.
Don’t drink and drive and don’t whine
to me if you get salmonella. -Dove Rainbow
spend Valentine’s Day sans Valentine.
It’s 2007. Over 1700 years have passed
since poor old Saint Valentine was executed.
Perhaps it has been long enough to get over
the customary apprehensions of February
14 and focus on making it what it was
meant to be: a day of celebration for the
martyrs of love? Perhaps we can throw out
the prescribed procedures and emotions
that have been designated by society and
experience our own proper Valentine’s Day.
Perhaps Valentine’s Day can help all of us
over the Wednesday hump this year, instead
of making some of us wish we could skip
straight to the un-romantic tail of the week.
Whether we’re single, in a relationship,
or somewhere we can’t quite label,
Valentine’s Day has always been fairly
skilled at heating us up, stressing us out,
and emptying what’s left of our miniscule
budget. This year, let’s leave behind the
expectations, disappointments, and lonely
moments of years gone by. Let’s quiet
our stressed brains with some sex, drugs,
and much-needed, anxiety-reducing antics.
Whether you’re single or blissfully
Coyote
Personals
Compiled by DOVE RAINBOW
Wanted: Rugged poet; tender but tenacious,
athletic but articulate, idealistic but
practical. Must be creative, quick-witted,
passionate and sincere. Humors of the
dry and impertinent nature welcome.
Must be as at home while Chaco-clad
and river-borne as he is in the corner of
a café absorbing a dog-eared novel. Pretty
boys, mama’s boys, passive-aggressives
and Republicans need not apply.
Experience preferred, but not necessary.
Email at [email protected].
Woman seeking man. Looking for
something utterly confusing but wonderful.
Interests include lots of sex and chocolate,
intermittent sunsets and skinny dipping
sessions, lazy Sunday afternoons, and
books. Interested in tall, dark, handsome,
or small and mundane. Eccentricities are
a must. Must be a Taurus or Aries, no
Virgos please! Name can not begin with the
letter “B.” Email at [email protected]!
Female seeks a queer partner in crime;
who is not afraid of: late night culture
jams, being arrested at protests, talking
politics, and going on random adventures
to hot springs. Who understands the words
Kathleen Hanna, genderqueer, horizontal
oppression, and the L-word. Must love drag
kings. Email at [email protected].
college.of.idaho.edu.
Savvy swingers seek sensational couple to
bond over beer-battered fish and fries. Must
be open to new activities, including, but
not limited to, pearl diving, ditch drilling,
donut glazing, leather stretching, and trout
stabbing. Looking for mature couple who
prays often and can put their roots down
anywhere. Time is of the essence. We are
leaving shortly on a trip to the Netherlands
staring into your true love’s eyes, a wet and would love company. Call 641-9857888 and ask for Richard or Kitty.
campus sharply raises your chances to
find someone who will heat the blankets book it from Berger’s Bench to Langroise
with you on the long night ahead. Spread with your high heels and birthday suit.
the happiness, spread the herpes, and for
I relinquish all responsibility for any
goodness sake spread your legs. If all the actions taken as a result of this wellbooze in the world can’t get Johnny Day meant advice. If you end up incarcerated,
to share your bed, don’t throw out your incapacitated, or in bed with a truly
buyer’s number quite yet. A few shots can distasteful member of the human race
keep you from feeling like you’re missing (or other-than), I sincerely apologize for
out, or a few tabs of LSD could keep your shortcomings in exercising sufficient
you from realizing that the five-foot-tall precautionary measures. You’re in college.
lamp next to your desk is not, in fact, an You can handle a little questionable advice.
incarnation of Johnny Depp. Or just steal
Have a good Valentines Day.
a golf-cart. If you are slightly gutsier,
8 FEBRUARY 2007
The Few,
The Proud,
The Tattooed
By LEIGH BASFORD
From dedication to inspiration, from
meaning to just design, people inject
their flesh with ink. Tattooing is a
form of self definition. We don’t get
to choose our parents, skin color, or
hand size. But we can choose ways
of being accepted.
Just as basketball players connect with
other basketball players, musicians to musicians, fraternity brother to fraternity
brother, tattoos bring a sort of connection,
a bond between two strangers. Tattooing
is a form of communication without using words. As an artist this is amazing, and
not just the, “you got an A in bio” amazing,
more like the “after 40 years you finally got
laid” amazing.
Tattoos have been used for centuries as
a form of categorization. The Inuit Indian
tribe used tattoos on the chins of women
to show that they were married. The Ro-
THE COYOTE
mans used tattooing as a way to mark slaves
and criminals.
Luckily, tattooing has evolved. Now people see tattooing as not just a way to group
themselves, like a military or a war tattoo,
but as a way to characterize themselves.
I spoke with a variety of tattooed students on our campus and found that there
are two kinds of people that get tattoos.
There are those who wear their tattoos for
all to see, and those who carry them more
intimately.
“Art has been a major part of
my life for years, it’s very significant to me to have artwork
permanently on my skin.”
Wearing your tattoo boldly for everyone
to see is a statement. Some people find it
a bad thing. “I wanted to get it in a place
where I could hide it. So it wouldn’t be visible for employment,” said George Lemmon. Others think, “Art has been a major
part of my life for years, it’s very significant
to me to have artwork permanently on my
skin.” Mouse Galyean. And for people like
Mouse, that reason is good enough to show
it off.
No matter your rhyme, rhythm, or reason behind the inked art that you get, you
become one of the few, the proud, the tattooed.
LEIGH BASFORD
ARTS & LEISURE
Shredding on Expert: Guitar Hero and Tangible Hardcoreosity
By BRENT HOUSTEN
This year, the Detroit Tigers lost
relief pitcher Joel Zumaya for three
games in the playoffs to a wrist injury (insert obligatory masturbation
joke). However, the real reason behind the injury was neither related
to Baseball nor to cranking it. Joel
Zumaya hurt himself shredding on
the Playstation 2 videogame Guitar
Hero. MSNBC said that the reason for the
injury “is even more painful” than the injury itself. MSNBC just doesn’t understand.
MSNBC just isn’t hardcore.
Guitar Hero is a rhythm videogame from
publishers Red Octane and Harmonix.
Prior to Guitar Hero’s release the rhythm
genre had been dominated by dance games
like Dance Dance Revolution (DDR). Any
way you slice it, DDR can be lumped with
MSNBC in the list of things not hardcore.
Guitar Hero features a lot less prancing and
a lot more rocking.
Across the nation, and indeed across
campus, gamers can be seen picking up
the Gibson SG Guitar controller. Who
needs six strings when you have five buttons and a paddle? The five “fret” buttons
ISSUE #7
correspond with notes scrolling down the
TV screen. Holding them down equates to
pressing down on the strings on the neck
of a guitar. When the notes reach bottom
of the screen, the player needs to “strum”
the paddle to strike
the note. There is
also a functional
whammy bar. The
guitar controller is
roughly ¾ the size
of a real Gibson
SG guitar.
It is possible to
play with a regular Playstation 2
controller,
but
at a serious cost
of awesomeness.
(Roughly equitable
to the decrease
of fun inherent
in playing Dance
Dance Revolution
on arrow keys, though, as previously stated,
DDR quite simply doesn’t rock).
There are four difficulty levels. Easy
uses only the first three buttons, medium
uses four, hard uses all five. Expert increas-
es the speed of scroll and quantity of notes.
But rock in baby steps: God didn’t create
the earth in one day.
All the songs are covers with meticulously recreated lead guitar parts. The vocals
DO sound a little different, but are more
than passable. It was
necessary to use covers to adequately map
the notes onto the five
button system. Songs
are ordered in by difficulty so you’ll find
rocking bliss whether
you’re struggling to
get through Smoke on
the Water on easy or
ripping through Bark
at the Moon on expert. You’ll get Ozzy
and the Ramones.
You’ll get Boston and
Cream. Just don’t expect, “Wind Beneath My Wings.”
Now that Guitar Hero has been defined,
what does GH mean to you? A career as a
professional guitarist? Probably not. Hours
of wasted time? More than likely. Drunken
fret burning soirées? Definitely. Nothing
quite tops passing a fifth and an SG Gibson around. I hear the Kappa Sigs are going
to set up a tournament. This is an excellent
idea.
In truth, Guitar Hero is nothing but hitting the correct buttons at the correct time
to ALLOW a song to play. Where the game
succeeds is not only making you feel like
you are actually playing the song, but also
making you feel like the stakes are high and
the quality of the song with be harmed if
you don’t succeed. Where exactly this sense
comes from, I’m not sure but it excels. Well
done, Harmonix and Red Octane, well
done.
There is debate over the individual tactics, such as whether or not Hammer ons
and Pull offs are effective. There are also
ethical debates… is it ok for a person who
usually plays on expert to brag about getting 100% notes hit on “I Love Rock and
Roll,” on easy? But certain facts remain… it
is very impressive if you drink half a can of
beer in the down time during a song, and is
ridiculously unsatisfying to miss that final
chord. If you’re sick of prancing and are
seeking some rocking, be hardcore like Joel
Zumaya and get your Guitar Hero on.
15
ARTS & LEISURE
Can the Shins Change Your Life?
An Album Review
By JORDAN DRAKE
According to Natalie Portman, The Shins
will change your life. This is a fallacy.
Sure, they’re a good band and all, but let’s
cut the hyperbole and get to the facts: if
listening to The Shins changed your life,
then you’ve got a lot more to experience
before anyone is ever going to take you
seriously.
Three years in the making, Wincing the
Night Away is the band’s attempt to make
good on the enormous expectations after
their first two releases, 2001’s Oh, Inverted
World and 2003’s Chutes Too Narrow. Of
course, such anticipation creates problems
for bands. Brilliance is tough to follow
up on. Take Brian Wilson, for instance,
who had a nervous breakdown after he
and The Beach Boys made Pet Sounds (its
successor, 2004’s Smile, wasn’t released for
forty years).
To be frank, Wincing the Night Away is
the bands’ least accessible record. However, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. World
and Chutes were both great, but if you
listen to them back to back, very little differentiates the two save for James Mercer’s
slightly more involved songwriting and
enhanced production values. With Wincing, a more confident Mercer takes the opportunity to experiment with structure and
sound. As a result, songs like “Sea Legs,”
“Red Rabbits,” and “Spilt Needles” are
far removed from previous efforts. The
band takes full advantage of its new
household-name status to try something
new, knowing full well the finished product will
still be
heard by
plenty of
people,
regardless
of the
results.
Additionally,
whereas
previous
producer
Phil Ek
struck
a near
perfect balance between lo- and hi-fi on
Chutes Too Narrow, Mercer himself
handles the knobs this time and the results
aren’t quite the same. Though he does an
admirable job, the record seems overproduced in areas, especially those that tread
far from the band’s beaten path. Ek, however, does receive production credit for the
lead single “Phantom Limb,” the album’s
most decidedly Shins-like track.
Now for the good news: despite inevitable shortcomings, Wincing the Night
Away is still a very good album. Opening
tracks “Sleeping Lessons” and “Australia”
may be the band’s best songs yet. And
those ‘experimental’ tracks? ‘Far removed’
as they are,
they’re still undeniably Shins-ical
(i.e., pretty darn
special).
The Beatles,
having played
a comparable
brand of rock
music in the
sixties, faced the
same conundrum
as The Shins do
with Wincing.
If Oh, Inverted
World is the
soundtrack-oriented Help! or A Hard Day’s Night, and
Chutes Too Narrow is the straightforward
pop bliss of Rubber Soul, then Wincing
the Night Away is the experimentallyminded Revolver. And you know what that
means: their Sgt. Pepper’s is just around
the corner.
The Shins may not be capable of
changing your life yet, but they will be
soon.
scientific detachment to his critique of human civilization. Via Socratic dialogue, he
asserts that the problem facing our society
is that humans are captives in a civilization
tion dynamics.
I have read idealist/environmental
literature before, and always finish with a
little residual righteousness and desire to
do something,
but it quickly
fades. Ishmael described
humanity’s
dilemma so
thoroughly
and concretely
that it was
impossible to
close the book
without feeling
moved, alarmed
and grateful. Ishmael
didn’t delineate
exactly what
to do in order to save the world, but to
compare our earth-destroying civilization
to alcoholism, I’ll take some words of
wisdom from Alcoholics Anonymous: the
first step is recognizing the problem. And
Ishmael is just the reality-slap of recognition that the face of humanity needs.
gorilla inspires change for the better
A Book Review of Ishmael
By
LAEL UBERUAGA-RODGERS
“Teacher seeks pupil. Must have
an earnest desire to save the world.
Apply in person.” Ishmael, by
Daniel Quinn, opens up with
this short ad in a newspaper. I
felt the just about same as the
narrator who responded to the
ad—I had heard it all before. Like
every beauty pageant contestant
during an on-stage interview, I
want world peace. However, we
all know it’s not that easy. Curious
as to how Quinn was going to tell
me what to do in order to save the
world, I picked up Ishmael after
breakfast one weekend, and didn’t
move from my chair until I had
finished it later that day.
The Teacher who had placed the ad
in the paper was Ishmael, a gorilla that
had learned to reason and communicate
telepathically. As strange as it sounds, it
was necessary for Ishmael to be a nonhuman, outside observer in order to lend
16
that believes it has to destroy to survive.
To help us see this, Ishmael retells human
history from a drastically different angle,
starting with the story of Adam and Eve.
He then goes on to explain that contrary
to our egotistical beliefs, the human race is
not exempt from natural laws of popula-
THE COYOTE
TICKET WATCH
February
5 – Carbon Leaf /w Toby Lightman
The Big Easy, Boise
6 – Pete Yorn /w Aqualung
The Big Easy, Boise
7 – Authority Zero /w Rehab, Crazy
Anglos, A Change of Pace
The Big Easy, Boise
8 – Marcus Eaton /w Equaleyes
The Big Easy, Boise
19 – Breaking Benjamin /w Burden
Brothers
The Big Easy, Boise
23 – Alexi Murdoch
Neurolux Lounge, Boise
28 – George Clinton & the P-Funk
Allstars
The Big Easy, Boise
March
5 – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
The Big Easy, Boise
6 – Brett Dennen
The Big Easy - Bourbon Street
Saloon, Boise
9 – Rocky Votolato /w Slender Means,
Redmark, Very Most
The Venue, Boise
10 – The Matches /w Escape the Fate, I
Am Ghost, The Higher
The Venue, Boise
14 – Plain White T’s /w Boys Night Out,
Lovedrug, Daphne Loves Derby
The Big Easy, Boise
18 – Haste the Day /w From Autumn to
Ashes, Maylene & The Sons of Disaster
The Venue, Boise
19 – Anberlin w/ Bayside, Meg & Dia,
Jonezetta
The Venue, Boise
21 – Dave Matthews Tribute Band
The Big Easy, Boise
23 – Sevendust /w Badcast
The Big Easy, Boise
8 FEBRUARY 2007
ARTS & LEISURE
THE COYOTE
Jon Baker Strikes Back with Two New Albums
Jon Baker has already become rather
notorious on campus. He writes offensive
songs, like “My Girlfriend’s Butthole,” the
lyrics to which landed him before the judicial committee. He gets the plug pulled at
every Open Mic Night at the McCain Pub,
despite the fact that the audience invariably wants to hear more of his songs about
such things as cock sucking boy scouts and
smelly, well-hung cave men who hang out
with Osama Bin Laden. He lit himself on
fire. He once contacted the Coyote about a
good story we should look into—himself;
he steals shit; and burns it; he runs a meth
lab, you fuckin’ bitch!
Now Jon Baker has two new albums
out—that’s right, he’s actually selling CDs.
So if you’re in the mood for some sloppy
guitars and spastic vocals, and you’re not
offended by excessive swearing, or lyrical
themes like sodomy (“My Girlfriend’s Butthole, part 2) , double penetration (“StrapOn”), date rape (“Let’s Take ‘X’”), and
fellatio (“Let’s Play House,” “I Can’t Stop
From Splooge”), check out A Window To
My Ass, on which Jon Baker gives new
meaning to the phrase, “rock out with your
cock out”. Feminists, pious Christians, Republicans, and people with discriminating
tastes should probably stay away.
There’s also a “clean” album called We’ll
Figure Something Out. And although JB
eases up on the profanity and sexually explicit themes, I found several songs on this
album, particularly “Hell’s Rebellion” and
“Little Fishey” downright disturbing. This
album also features the open mic night
mainstay “Jason Moss”.
I listened to both albums through the
small, tinny speakers on my laptop, and I
suggest you do the same—it just seems
right, considering the heavily distorted,
slightly-less-than-in-tune sound of the
music. Most of the songs feature a single
slack-tuned guitar over a drum-machine
beat, with occasional overdubs. Also, listening late at night helps. Things like the
vocal overdubs on “Let’s Play House” and
blatantly offensive lyrics just seem funnier
after you’ve been awake for twenty hours.
You can also listen drunk. If nothing else
though, check out the awesome guitar
riffage by Bert Martin on “Let’s Take ‘X’”
and “Cunt Dumpster” from A Window To
My Ass.
Check out Jon Baker at the next Open
Mic Night, where he’ll undoubtedly do his
best to offend everyone in the house.
- Scott Lake
Dys•to•pi•a (noun) - an imagined place or
state in which everything is unpleasant or
bad, typically a totalitarian or environmentally degraded one
Imagine yourself in twenty years. Where
are you? What are you doing? How does
the world around you look?
According to Alfonso Cuaron’s Children
of Men, you, as a U.S. citizen, no longer exist. The countryside has been desecrated
and you wage war against your fellow man.
Whether or not you are even still human is
questionable. The world has ended, but the
fires of Hell have yet to be quenched.
The film (based on the book by P.D.
James) envisions a future where Earth has
gone sterile. People, unable to procreate,
face their eventual extinction. But when
former activist Theo (Clive Owen) is approached by an old friend (Julianne Moore)
to transport a miraculously pregnant young
woman (Claire-Hope Ashitey) to safety at
sea, the prospect of continued humanity is
a hopeful one.
Theo’s journey takes him through backwoods and refugee camps across a destroyed England, and thanks to some fantastic camerawork we accompany him for
the duration. Emmanuel Lubezki’s brilliant
cinematography refuses to look away from
the scorched landscape of the post-apocalyptic nation. A number of the scenes in the
film, especially those that document action,
are composed of just a single shot. In one,
for instance, Theo chases after Kee (Ashitey) through a slum that has descended into
bedlam. Against a swirling, overcast sky,
buildings crumble into streets caked in ash.
Beset on all sides by conflicting factions
and government troops, Theo dodges from
We’ll Figure Something Out (Clean Album)
My major complaint with this album is the way the tracks are organized. It starts off
strong, but throughout the album the songs slow down and begin to sound like nothing
more than background noise. “Little Fishey” is instantly catchy, and immediately this album seems significantly more listenable than Window to My Ass. It calls to mind a slightly
less frenetic version of a Scissor Sisters song, and that’s not a bad thing. The somewhat
nasal vocals occasionally border on grating, but more often they find their way into a
comfortable repetition.
The weakest track on the album is “High School Dropout,” which left me wondering
when the song would ever end. It may have benefited from as short a track time as its
predecessor, “Jason Moss.” Strangely, the songs seem to rapidly shift to a slower, more
melodic sound halfway through the album. “Dungeons and Dragons,” while not especially
musically interesting, is lyrically amusing. It’s the kind of track you’d find yourself compulsively sending to D&D playing friends.
As a whole, the album is reminiscent of The Dead Milkmen’s work, with a similar sense
of humor about itself, especially in “Jason Moss.” This album might find a place on my
shelf next to Weezer’s Pinkerton — not everyday listening, but certainly good for a lazy
summer afternoon.
Window to My Ass (Dirty Album)
Like We’ll Figure Something Out, this album is excellently mixed and produced, especially for an independent release. However, listening to Window to My Ass begs the
question: what is the point? Is this a concept album? If so, it largely fails. However esoteric
the concept, it should be recognizable in the album at some point, and here it’s never fully
realized. As it stands, the blatant misogyny present in the lyrics does not push itself far
enough over the top to become an obvious satire.
These lyrics leave no room to read between the lines. If the listener doesn’t know Jon
Baker, it’s impossible to determine what the concept of this album may be. The lyrics in
“Let’s Play House” and several of the other tracks are nearly unintelligible — and where
they are discernible, I find myself wishing they weren’t. Particularly in “I Can’t Stop,” a
song that is nearly impossible to describe in polite terms except to say that it involves fellatio, and ends with the spoken line “Did I say you could cry?” If that’s the sort of thing
you find funny, you may see this album as a great success.
Lyrics aside, the guitar work on “C. Dumpster” is rather impressive. I get the distinct
feeling that if this album’s lyrics were removed, it would be an excellent listen for a long
drive: upbeat and fairly relaxed. “My Strap On” is indiscernible from the first track, and I
find the title track to be the only one that succeeds on its own — it’s successfully over-thetop, lyrically, and feels like the song that should be released as a single but never is. Overall,
I wouldn’t voluntarily listen to this again. There’s enough misogyny (satirical or not) in the
world of rock, and I would rather not listen to yet another album that consistently reduces
women to nothing more than sexual objects.
- Molly Mooney
Nuclear Winter Wonderland in Children of Men
ISSUE #7
one pile of
debris
to
the next to
avoid being
caught
in
the crossfire,
reaches an
apartment
complex
besieged by
firing tanks,
ducks
inside, makes
his
way
up several
flights
of
stairs, and navigates its rubble strewn hallways in pursuit. When he takes cover, we
take cover. When he is spattered by blood,
we are spattered by blood. The film is a vi-
sual achievement, and if Lubezki’s literally
unflinching portrayal of such beautiful ruin
doesn’t win Oscar gold then this world is
devoid of justice.
Children of Men is terrifying, but its most
frightening implications are those that remain unstated. Just what happened to
cause worldwide sterility and the panic that
followed (nuclear war? global warming?
God?) is unclear, nor is for how long humanity will be able to hold out against its
eventual extinction. What is clear, though,
is that extinction will be slow and painful.
Bleak as the outlook may be, a ray of
hope shines through Cuaron’s murky English skies. The film suggests people can
work together to achieve great things, and
that even the most desperate of causes is
not lost until we give up.
- Jordan Drake
17
ARTS & LEISURE
THE COYOTE
Who Is Charlotte Simmons?
Two different takes on Tom Wolfe’s most recent best seller
By SCOTT LAKE
I’ll credit Tom Wolfe for this much: he did
a lot of research. By 2004, the year in which
his latest novel, I Am Charlotte Simmons, was
published, the renowned chronicler of all
that is corrupt and depraved in American
society, the man who has been called by
more than a few publications America’s
greatest living writer, knew things about
college life that no one of his generation
(Wolfe is 76) should.
I Am Charlotte Simmons is researched
so extensively, it makes me wonder why
someone of Wolfe’s rock-solid literary and
journalistic reputation would go through
such trouble to meticulously catalogue the
ins and outs of what it takes to be cool at
college. And from what I can glean for the
novel, along with the several interviews
Wolfe has given since its publication, it
seems that Tom Wolfe has a moral chip on
his shoulder as colossal as the lumbering,
muscle-bound college athletes he spends so
many pages deriding. For all the research,
Wolfe’s portrayal of college life is despicably
lazy and maddeningly devoid of nuance
and subtlety, clearly and unapologetically
intended to demonstrate his opinion
that the youth of America are hopelessly
depraved, daily drinking themselves
into bleary stupors and fornicating like
hyperactive bunny rabbits.
Wolfe is clearly a talented journalist.
But that’s all he is, a reporter, always on
the outside looking in, even when he
places himself in the very midst of what
he wishes to document. He makes only a
minimal effort to deduce the underlying
causes of and motivations for the behavior
he observes — the indecipherable tangle
of thoughts and emotions; confusion,
depression, elation, ecstasy, and anger
that course through the mind of an
undergraduate today. Instead, he attributes
nearly all action to peer pressure and lack of
willpower, to the universal and ever-present
need to be superior to one’s peers.
If Charlotte Simmons is to be considered a
piece of journalism, it is yellow journalism.
Sure, things that Wolfe writes about actually
happen, but they are sensationalized and
exaggerated by an author who cannot
differentiate between reporting and
editorializing, between fact and fiction.
Wolfe imbeds himself in the culture of the
university only to mock it, to make light of
18
or condemn what he does not understand.
There were a few things I did like about
Charlotte Simmons. For one thing, it’s an
extraordinarily easy read. Wolfe’s prose is so
slick and fluid that you can casually devour
sixty to a hundred pages without giving it
a second thought, except when he feels
insight and character development in
this book is similar to what you would
get if you locked a bunch of Christian
fundamentalists in a room for seven days
with typewriters and an ample supply of
hash brownies. The exalted Wolfe takes 738
pages to inform his readers that what kids
the need to show off by inserting a long,
obtuse, and obscure word, or to display
his intimate knowledge of the technical
jargon of human anatomy with terms such
as solar plexus, lattissmus dorsi, and mons
pubis. The lives of different characters are
also woven together fairly ingeniously. You
could almost have sympathy fort them as
victims of circumstance and fate if they
weren’t all such self-centered assholes.
Having said that, the level of sociological
need nowadays is a large dose of good, oldfashioned, Amer’kan country discipline.
I can get the same advice from my
grandfather, and it only takes him twenty
minutes to tire of giving it before he falls
asleep in his recliner.
By BEN HENKE
To understand what I am Charlotte Simmons
is as a piece of literature, one must first
understand Tom Wolfe. Wolfe was trained
as a journalist with his most famous works
being non fictional. I am Charlotte Simmons is
not so much to be viewed as a story crafted
for the purpose of telling a fictional story
but as a story crafted to inform on the state
of affairs surrounding the story. Wolfe is
critiquing the American higher education
system and the culture associated with
it. This book is filled with other astute
observations about race relations, sexual
mores and ethical standards.
The setting is a fictional Ivy League school
with a basketball team reminiscent of Duke
and a reputation to match. As the title
hints, the plot revolves around Charlotte.
Though a gifted student, her naiveté and
disadvantaged rural background conspire
to make life a struggle for Charlotte. The
idiosyncrasies of the social, sexual and
academic areas of college are baffling
having come from such a different world.
Other characters are presented in
somewhat stereotypical fashions as
representations of mostly what is wrong
with college life. It is likely some of these
stereotypes have a basis in reality. More
than one of Wolfe’s characters is used to
take shots at promiscuous sexual activity
especially as it relates to careless attitudes
and manipulations of both sexes.
Perhaps the biggest issues confronted
are those relating to academics and athletics.
While her school is known for its academic
reputation, Charlotte is shocked to find
that her French Literature class is taught in
English. This parallels what many educators
have shown: that standards are falling.
In the book, athletics come directly at odds
with academics when an athlete is accused
of cheating only to escape punishment.
For anyone who pays attention to D1
sports, this is no surprise. In the upper level
college ranks, such occurrences are rather
common. In an environment where profs
want publications, jocks want pro contracts
and the rest of the students are delaying real
life with Dionysian pursuits; there is little
room for real learning. Charlotte eventually
adapts, perhaps at the cost of possible
academic achievements in exchange for
social status.
Wolfe’s overall focus does remain
benevolent in that he has respect for the
American institutions of higher learning
and is sickened by so many becoming only
a means to the ends of wealth and status.
8 FEBRUARY 2007
ARTS & LEISURE
THE COYOTE
Horoscopes
A new Coyote means a new round of horoscopes. But don’t get your hopes up.
The results are, as always, overwhelmingly bleak.
Aquarius (January 20- February
18):
Valentine’s Day is near and that can
only mean one thing. You’re single,
which sucks. I would hate to be you
right now, Aquarius.
Pisces (February 19-March 16):
Sometimes when people text you
weird things, you assume that they
are drunk. Sadly, this month will
not be the case. This month, it will
be you and your inability to read.
Aries (March 17- April 19):
Kind of like a certain Swedish
singer with a porno moustache,
your month, too, will be filled with
bananas AND melones! Yah!
Taurus (April 20-May 20):
Calling someone a “lying sack of
shit” isn’t very nice. However, if
you were completely blitzed when
it happened, then it’s all funny in
retrospect.
Gemini (May 21- June 21):
Your inability to say certain words
will get you not so far in life,
Gemini. Keep trying.
Cancer (June 22-July 22):
You’re probably regretting the fact
that you decided to get drunk on
the way up to Winterfest, aren’t
you? After all, those windy roads
ISSUE #7
really get you after a certain point.
But, bringing someone home
when you are drunk isn’t in a polite
manner either.
Leo (July 23- August 22):
This month you will receive a
scandalous nickname which results
in a vicious rumor about you. But
hey, at ACI, your business is
everyone’s business.
Virgo (August 23September 22):
Virgo, don’t you find it
interesting that our ASACI
exec council is made up of
mostly runners? When, in
fact, runners aren’t a large
percentage of our campus
at all? Therefore, it’s up to
you to take the first step.
Libra (September 23October 22):
Libra, please remember
that none of us are paying
tuition to hear your ideas
in class. Let the professor
speak.
Scorpio (October 23November 21):
This month, your forte
will be burning bridges.
However, do not try to burn
too many too fast or else.
Campus Safety may come after you.
number.
Sagittarius (November 22December 21):
Having a good bowling night does
not consist of the bowling lady
at the alley yelling at you on the
microphone. But, it does consist
of giving the bouncer your phone
Capricorn (December 22January 19):
Moving because the bed was
gyrating, isn’t a good story to tell
your girlfriend, so for your sake,
don’t tell her. Or, if you do, at least
add a hooker to the mix.
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19
ESSAY
CITIZEN
TUCAKOVIC
THE COYOTE
By INES TUCAKOVIC
Looking back, I can’t really say that I had a normal
childhood. Sure, I had a set
of parents who loved each
other, a grandma that spoiled
me rotten, and friends that
preferred playing Guns-NRoses (an army game, not the
80’s rock-n-roll band) over
doing their fractions. I even
war between the Muslims, Cetniks
and Hrvats. I witnessed my first execution at the tender age of 8, and
learned to sleep to the lulling sound
of the “air-strike” siren that rang
out over the whole city.
had a younger brother that would
annoy the living piss out of me until
my eyes closed for the night, each
and every night.
Things were going great for me as
a kid; in third grade I had the highest math grade in the city, I started
taking English lessons, and I was the
only kid on my block that didn’t bash
my face in as a result of running
down a hill made entirely out of 4x4
inch concrete blocks, because every so often one of those concrete
My father was captured behind
beauties would stick its head out,
enemy
lines and placed in a concencatch your foot and pull you down
tration camp, while the rest of my
family went to Croatia, into exile.
We were there for 3 months before
we went back to our bombed house
and awaited my father’s return. Havfor a kiss. It was described to me as ing lost roughly half of his weight
a brutal, beautiful type of pain, but and the majority of his friends, my
if you walked away from that, then dad had a different outlook on life,
you were fucking Genghis Khan.
and who would blame him? He and
However, shortly after turning 8, my mom decided to escape to a
my childhood began to change; as a place were they would age peacefulmatter of fact it went to hell and had ly and their children would have an
a tea party with Lucifer himself. My array of opportunities beyond their
dad, having previously worked as a wildest dreams.
colonel in the Yugoslavian Special
Enter United States of AmerForces, was drafted into the army ica. For me, coming here was like
to go fight some political/religious ET landing on Earth. My eyes were
I witnessed my first
execution at the tender
age of 8.
20
the size of saucers, and I do believe of my life, and landed a job where
that I received a severe case of cul- the Christmas bonus of 2006 is paying for my ticket to Italy this
ture shock. Cars as far as the
upcoming summer.
eye could see, houses with
Sure, there have
swimming pools, shopping
been times where the
malls, people walking their
American
system
dogs… on leashes, and
has let me down and
WTF?!?! Barbie can be
kicked my face while I
a brunette too?!? I was
was
drowning in a pool
literally salivating at the
of credit card debt, but as
sight. Nobody ever had it so
always… it’s come through
good (well, except for the majority
of children that were already living
in the US).
Turns out the only thing I brought
from Bosnia that did me any good in
this new life was my ability to speak
English and once I began speaking, magic happened and continued no matter what the situation. All of
these opportunities that I’m currently basking in I owe to America,
America the Great, the “land of
opportunities” (as it was known in
Bosnia… before the Bush administration at least). Had I not come
here when I did, I don’t know how
my life might have turned out, or
whether I would still have a life to
speak of. I’m grateful America let
me in, and finally the day has come
for me to pay proper respects.
On February 12th, I’m being summoned for my citizenship interview,
and at 9:45 in the morning I’m going to rock the Immigration building
with my vast comprehension of the
American government and its entire
to happen for the next 13 years. I doings. I’m going to make Hillary
graduated from junior high, got my Rodham Clinton look like Lil Kim’s
license, graduated from high school prison bitch. So, if you should rewith honors in French, European member, shoot a shout-out to me
History and Photography, enrolled on the 12th and wish me the best of
in the fine institution that is Albert- luck, for this may be the best chapson College of Idaho, met the love ter of my life yet.
I’m grateful America let
me in, and finally the
day has come for me to
pay proper respects.
8 FEBRUARY 2007