thelondonnews

12
thelondonnews
thelondonpaper
www.thelondonpaper.com
137
Number of units the average Briton will get
through during the 12 days of Christmas
WEDNESDAY
20 DECEMBER 2006
I’m only drinking white wine
because I’m on a diet and I don’t eat”
oliver reed
thelondonpaper
WEDNESDAY
20 DECEMBER 2006
200
www.thelondonpaper.com
13
I hate to advocate alcohol, violence, or
insanity, but they’ve always worked for me”
Litres of alcoholic beverages drunk by
the average British adult in a year
hunter s thompson
the morning after the night before
’Tis the season to get trolleyed! The festive period has
arrived and with it the annual failure of anybody to
drink within their limits. Andy Jones road tests the
best hangover cures available
IF you’re preparing to hit
the bottle this Christmas,
you may want to stock up
your medicine cabinet
before you open the one
containing the drinks.
On any given day, more
than 200,000 workers across
Britain are hungover, according to a survey by PruHealth,
and the number is expected
to rocket come Christmas.
Out of these, 83 per cent
admit they struggle to work
at their usual pace when feeling ropey.
That’s fine if you don’t have
much work to plough
through, but bad if you do, so
it does pay to have a hangover
remedy at the ready.
To test the top cures out
there, first we need to acquire
a hangover.
My generous editor reckons a pint each of lager and cider, one glass of red, one glass
of white, one double brandy
and one double vodka with
mixer should be enough to
ensure I have the classic
hangover symptoms: nausea,
headache, sweats, shakes and
the obligatory foul temper.
Still, at least it’s on
expenses.
It’s downbog day
all over again
Party animal I Andy
Jones spent four nights
on a booze cruise in the
name of science
shade of green, but at least I’m
still functional. For that, Berocca, I’m thankful for.
Verdict
It did nothing to stave off the
headaches and nausea, but
kept me buzzing with energy
well past midday. If you have
to get through an important
meeting, then Berocca may
just help you avoid the sack.
• £4.49 for 30 tablets at
Boots, Superdrug and all
good chemists
day four
The Herbal cure
always escapes from Moscow
so easily – their boys must be
stricken with the vodka
vomits. This dud missile
leaves you to fight a cold war
on your own.
I’ve woken up bare
with a sore head
The
headache
remains
untouched, the
shakes and
shivers are as
strong as ever”
• £5.99 for 20 tablets at
Superdrug. Visit www.
superdrug.com
day three
Berocca
day one
The fry-up
solution
Time to take on my first hangover remedy – the traditional,
non-chemical approach – by
having a pint of water after
each drink, followed by a full
English breakfast the morning after.
I imagine this will be
­followed by an immediate
sprint to the toilet. The drinking is the easy part, the
­penance arrives later.
The next morning starts
well. The eyes open, head
peels off the pillow but then it
hits – the full assault of last
night’s boozing. Wrestling
with a frying pan and packets
of bacon just isn’t an option,
so a stop-off at the café on the
way to work is mandatory.
But while the plate of meat
and grease slides down mercifully well, the effect of it
sloshing around inside me is
giving me cause for grief. The
Jas Lehal
Grease is the word I Fry up worked, albeit briefly
two twisted sisters – shakes
and sweats – have arrived,
which make for a pretty horrific start to the morning.
That said, I’m confident I’ll
remain upright for the rest of
the day.
Later on:
Spoke too soon. My confidence falters in the afternoon,
when those painful few hours
after 3pm grate horribly.
Verdict
The fry up and water made the
first few difficult hours more
bearable, but the symptoms
of nausea and headaches
made an unwelcome reappearance before home time.
day two
The KGB remedy
The second remedy comes
from the spy networks of
Russia – RU 21. A dietary supplement designed to terminate your hangover, it was
originally created so that Russian spies could drink all night
without suffering a hangover.
I’m not entirely sure why
heavy drinking was ever
­useful in snaring an enemy,
but the PR jargon claims: “You
may be thankful in the morning”. Let’s hope so.
RU 21 is a delightful mix of
amino acids, monosodium
glutamate, Vitamin C and
glucose, and claims to deaden
the onset of a hangover.
For it to work, it’s necessary
to pop a pill after every hour
of drinking, which, if done in
a nightclub, could result in
being booted out. I stick
blindly to the packet’s guidelines, which means I have to
rip through half the packet
by the time I’ve matched the
previous night’s alcohol quota.
I feel horrendous the next
day. So bad that I have to close
my eyes and bite down hard
every couple of minutes just
to briefly stop the throbbing
in my head. From Russia with
love this most certainly isn’t.
In its defence, RU 21 does
state that drinking should
only be in moderation. Still, I
thought it would have at least
taken the edge off my
symptoms.
Later on:
The headache remains untouched, the shakes and shivers are as strong as ever and
my concentration is, erm. . .
sorry, what was I saying?
Verdict
No wonder James Bond
Berocca shocker I The pills kept Andy buzzing
Berocca sounds like it means
the business. A natural cocktail of B Vitamins and anti-oxidants to help you when you’ve
had too many cocktails of a
different kind.
The website exclaims:
“Your brain is a chemical factory that needs a steady supply of energy to keep it firing
on all cylinders”. The packet
reads: “These days life can be
more challenging than ever
before”. Oh, you know my
pain too well.
The dosage, one tablet per
day dissolved in water, prom-
ises to provide a welcome
kick start to your day. While
not specifically a hangover
cure, if it can push me
through those difficult early
hours, it’ll be a success in my
book.
After another night on the
(bathroom) tiles, my body is
spilling chemicals all over the
place. I feel mercilessly
unwell.
After an hour or so, I do feel
a little better – the train journey isn’t quite so awful and
I’ve actually remembered to
shave today. My concentration is improving already!
Perhaps a herbal supplement
like artichoke will help stave
off the headaches.
Artichoke, the humble
vegetable, packs a considerable punch. It contains cynarin, a natural extract that
can help repair damage to the
liver and if taken before
drinking, can deaden the
symptoms of a hangover. It
also helps the liver work more
quickly to disperse alcohol
from the body.
After three consecutive
days of drinking, I feel incessantly nauseous and have a
constant foul temper. Worryingly, this only stops when I
start drinking again.
The next morning, I’m having trouble leaving the duvet.
The artichoke isn’t working
on the headaches, hasn’t
touched the nausea and I’m
shaking like a leaf in a storm.
Later on:
Verdict
By early afternoon, the Berocca boost is waning, so I
ignore packet guidelines and
lunge for another. The after effects see me whizzing about
the office unable to sit still.
The motto of the product is
“Stay Sharp”; I’ve gone stir
crazy.
The hangover symptoms
are still there and my urine
has turned an obnoxious
Artichoke is more restorative
than preventative, hence it
isn’t having any effect today. I
think the only successful
means of avoiding a hangover
is abstention, and after this
week, I won’t be drinking
again. Well, at least until New
Year’s Eve.
• £9.95 for 30 capsules at
Holland & Barrett. Visit www.
hollandandbarrett.com
Five hangover myths
1
Fry-ups replace
the depleted reserves of sugar and
salt in the body.
It might do, but the
amount of energy your
body has to expend digesting it, rather than
getting rid of your toxins,
will make your hangover
last longer. Greasy food
will make you nauseous;
stick to carbs.
2
Drink lots of coffee
– it helps to get rid
of the alcohol. Blame
Hollywood for this one,
but all coffee does is give
you a temporary caffeine
boost as well as making
you more dehydrated
because it is a diuretic.
The same goes for fizzy
drinks – a water bottle
should be the only thing
you’re clutching.
3
Clear spirits like
vodka won’t give
you a hangover. Wishing something doesn’t
make it true, as you will
discover when whimpering into your pillow. Vodka does contain fewer
congeners (chemicals in
alcohol, which turn toxic
once metabolised) than
whisky, but ten shots of
the stuff evens the odds.
4
Eating food before
you drink will prevent a hangover. All food does is slow the
rate you absorb alcohol,
so while it might stop
you from dancing on tables during the night,
it offers no real absolution the following day.
Not drinking so much, for
­instance, will prevent ­
a hangover.
5
Energy drinks can
combat tiredness.
Like most mood enhancers, what goes up must
come down, so you will
feel worse after a temporary high. Instead, opt
for natural vitamin-rich
drinks like tomato juice
or a strawberry and banana smoothie, which
replace lost stores of potassium and glucose.