the valley sunrise - Clayton Valley Concord Sunrise Rotary Club

THE VALLEY
SUNRISE
February 26, 2015
Award-Winning Newsletter for THREE
CONSECUTIVE years (2010-2013)
Rotary Int’l President:
District 5160 Governor:
CVCS President:
Photographer:
Reporter:
Editor:
Gary Huang, Taiwan
Pam Gray, Paradise
Irene Davids-Blair
Clayton Worsdell/Fred Nelson
Steve Weir
Mureleen Benton
HOW IT STARTED
President Irene rang the meeting to order.
Chris Krnich gave us our thought for the
day;
John Wolfe let us in our pledge.
GUESTS
Dave Kemnitz introduced his guest, Daniel Coral who is our new contact person at CoParts car
auction.
Our younger Rotarians including Aline, Brody, & Jonathan also joined us.
Miles attended the production at CVCHS that Brody starred in and Jonathan gave us a report on
that event. He also mentioned that the annual cruise is scheduled for May 23rd and asked if the
club would carry on with the tradition of helping with this event. They are also considering a
black & white dance. (It was reported that Brody's play was a big hit!)
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HAVING A WEE BIT OF FUN
Irene presented us with a quiz where the answers were not as
obvious as they might seem. Jeff & Monica (AKA fast fingers) had
the most correct answers.
JOKES
For Jokes, Irene, Mureleen, John Wolfe, & Bkept us entertained.
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BIRTHDAYS
John Wenzel celebrated the “big” 30. Oh to be 3-0 again!!
HAPPY BUCKS________
Happy bucks included: Eric Rehn, one for a trip
to Costa Rica, and one grumpy for all the
professions in the club that have not submitted
their information for our directory; (Editor’s
note: Looks like Eric forgot his razor this a.m.)
Monica gave $5 for our Interact group and for
all of our slots for Camp Royal & Camp Venture
having been filled;
Larry gave $10 for his and Dennis' attendance
at the Patty LuPone concert where Dennis got to
go back stage with a classic album cover from
Patty's early days and another $10 for moving
his office into his home;
Mureleen for being nominated to attend the
Rotary Leadership Academy, with 16
participants on a packed agenda, sounds like a
great experience; (She shared that only five
people have volunteered for the next round of District Governor selection,
and that each DG needs 100 volunteers AND that there are more Interact
members in our District than actual Rotarians);
Frank Westphall donated three bucks for the helpers in setting up this past
month when he was absent;
and Chris R had a grumpy buck for having the flu for his 25th
Wedding Anniversary.
John Wenzel donated and reported on his
attendance at the Friday Rotary Club where past
President of RI, Rick King gave a great
presentation and showed John the wide
presence that Rotary has on the International
scene.
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Maryann donated for not being in Philly
("there's no place like home") and for
Tommy's wild socks.
Dave Kemnitz mentioned
that he will be making a
presentation to the Moraga
Rotary Club on April 7,
(lunch meeting) at St.
Mary's and also showed a copy of Cliff
Dochterman’s book, As I was Saying.
Jeff reported that his daughters are off to med
school,
and Miles donated for his new water heater thanks to
Frank.
MYSTERY GREETER________
Steve W was the secret greeter which yielded $2.
CLUB STUFF_____________________
Rotary Board meetings will now be on the 1st Wednesday of every month at 7:00 am back
to Buttercup Pantry.
Daniel Coral had encouraging words for us about our Klunker Program.
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Dave Kemnitz reported that we have a
new partner, Cupertino Towing in
Antioch. He also presented a check for
just under $1,000!
Larry reported that during the packing up
for his office move, he found several
banners and a water color painting he
received during his Presidency (1998-99) all of which he ceremoniously gave to Irene with the
suggestion that the painting be handed down to future Presidents. The painting was a
presentation to Larry for our first successful international matching grants program in Peru.
Joan is hosting our monthly Friday Night Reception on February 27 (tonight).
It was reported that the next Board of Directors Meeting will be Wednesday, March 4 @ 7 am,
Buttercup Restaurant (note the new location), and that the Charitable Board meeting will be
Monday, March 2, 4 pm @ US Bank.
SPEAKER___________________________
Our program was presented by our Cancer Walk participants who visited San Felipe. Aline,
Torsten, Clayton and Richard (who were joined by Sandy & George Beckham) reported
(with many amazing photos) about this year's walk. We saw the new building we sponsored at
the Casa de Fe orphanage.
Clayton met his sponsored student (club members have several) Torsten reported on how
friendly the baby whales are in the Sea of Cortez, and also shared with us the presence of a very
large dead whale just off of his porch and the efforts he had to go through to secure it and have it
towed out to sea. Seems one of the highlights of the trip was a dinner with our sponsored
students. It also seems that Aline had a ball. (This was Richard's seventh trip to do the Cancer
Walk.)
Torsten reported that they have done 7,000 cancer screen procedures and that the 10th Cancer
Walk will be February 20, 2016.
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Seems that they had 300 walkers in addition to another 100 participants. Torsten reminded us of
the good that we have accomplished with our $12,000 donation to help fund a professional at the
center.
They had a gift for Hugh carried back from his sponsored student.
Our speakers book Father Bear Comes Home was signed by all of our San Felipe participants.
MARBLE DRAW____________
Maryann had the winning ticket and walked away with a bottle of olive oil.
With that, we were dismissed by President Irene with the ringing of the bell.
FOOD BANK VOLUNTEERS
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Al Gore just thought he created the internet. Now we know exactly how it started.
HOW THE INTERNET STARTED, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE..
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a
healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was
often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods
when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"
And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply
said, "How, dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what
you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the
drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top
price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system
that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she
also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They
were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one
noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who
bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only
with Brother Gates' drumheads
and drumsticks.
And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.
He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."
"YAHOO," said Abraham.
And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was,
soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
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That is how it all began.
And that's the truth.
Why Many Athletes Can't have Real Jobs
01. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to
look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
02. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for
1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
03. Upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the Redskin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl,"
Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
04. Torren Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treat us like mens. He let
us wear earrings."
05. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a
genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
06. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how
long it takes." (Now that is beautiful)
07. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height" and, "You
guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
08. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come
out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."
09. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above
his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he
appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle
or an aunt."
12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: I asked him, ''Son, what is it with you? Is it
ignorance or apathy?" He said, ''Coach, I don't know and I don't care.''
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four
F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
15. Former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all
the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."
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Catholic Vocabulary List
AMEN:
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.
BULLETIN:
Your receipt for attending Mass.
CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.
HOLY WATER:
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.
HYMN:
A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the
congregation's range.
RECESSIONAL HYMN:
The last song at Mass often sung a little more quietly, since most of the people
have already left.
INCENSE:
Holy Smoke!
JESUITS:
An order of priests known for their ability to find colleges with good basketball teams.
JONAH:
The original 'Jaws' story.
JUSTICE:
When kids have kids of their own.
KYRIE ELEISON:
The only Greek words that most Catholics can recognize besides gyros and baklava. (For you nonCatholics it means Lord have mercy.)
MAGI:
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.
MANGER:
Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn't covered by an HMO.
(The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel has always been rough.)
PEW:
A medieval torture device still found in Catholic churches.
PROCESSION:
The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass consisting of altar servers,
the celebrant, and late parishioners looking for seats.
RECESSIONAL:
The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass led by parishioners trying
to beat the crowd to the parking lot.
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RELICS:
People who have been going to Mass for so long, they actually know when to sit,
kneel, and stand.
TEN COMMANDMENTS:
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.
USHERS:
The only people in the parish who don't know the seating capacity of a pew.
Little known facts about the Catholic Church in Las Vegas :
There are more churches in Las Vegas than casinos. During Sunday services at the
offertory, some worshippers contribute casino chips as oppos ed to cash.
Some are sharing their winnings - some are hoping to win. Since they get chips from so many different
casinos, and they are worth money, the Catholic churches are required
to send all the chips into the diocese for sorting. Once sorted into the respective casino
chips, one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds to the casinos turning
chips into cash. And he, of course, is known as The Chip Monk.
This information is for Catholics only.
It must not be divulged to non-Catholics.
The less they know about our rituals and top secret code words, the better off they are .
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