Lashon HaRa - The Power of Words לשון הרע

Lashon HaRa - The Power of Words
‫ כוחן של מילים‬- ‫לשון הרע‬
TEACHER’S GUIDE – LESSON PLANS
The Color Key For Identifying
the Source of The Sources
In order to be able to quickly identify
the nature of the various sources
)‫מקור בתורה שבכתב (תנ"ך‬
A Source from the Written Torah
that appear in this work, the sources
are color coded based on the time
period in which they were written.
This colorful codification system will
hopefully help us trace the halakhic
process from the source in the Torah
to the practical halakhic rulings of
contemporary Poskim.
‫מקור בתורה שבעל פה‬
Sources from the Oral Law (Mishna and Gemara)
‫ ופסקי השלחן ערוך‬,‫מקור ממפרשי התלמוד הראשונים‬
Sources From The Rishonim (Early Commentaries on the
Gemara) and the Rulings of the Shulchan Aruch
‫מקור ממפרשי השלחן ערוך ומהאחרונים‬
Sources From the Commentaries on the Shulchan Aruch
and the Later Commentators
‫מקור מפוסקי זמנינו‬
Sources From the Contemporary Poskim (Halakhic Decisors)
‫מדריך ללימוד בחברותא‬
A Guide to Chavruta Learning
The following are some simple points to help achieve effective chavruta learning:
1. Students should take turns reading and translating the sources.
2. After each source is read and translated, study partners should try to analyze the
source and discuss what the key elements of the text are. The chavruta pair should
look within the text for the unique ideas contained within. The guided questions on
the source sheet should be used to help direct the discussion
3. Students should take the necessary time to uncover the full meaning of each source.
The goal is to analyze, understand, and connect the material to what is being
taught.
4. The choice of words in the source is precise and thus requires great attention to
detail when analyzing.
5. Students should feel free to ask their teacher for guidance in their learning. The
teacher will lead students into deeper understanding without giving away too
much.
‫ כוחן של מילים‬- ‫לשון הרע‬
The Power of Words
Lashon Hara - Forbidden Speech
Introduction
Unit Overview
The following unit is an introduction to the laws and values regarding lashon hara-evil speech in Judaism.
The classes introduce and explore the topic using an episode from the show “The Facts of Life” as
a primary trigger. The ensuing learning draws upon traditional sources, in-class discussions, stories,
activities, worksheets and various other teaching tools to flesh out the topic. The unit aims to connect
students to the topic, confirming its relevance in their daily lives and inspiring them towards greater
sensitivity to their choice of words.
The unit will explore the following general sub-topics:
1.
What are the various categories and definitions of lashon hara?
2. What type of day-to-day language and use of communication is included in lashon hara?
3. What is the degree of severity of this prohibition according to traditional sources?
4. What type of damage can lashon hara cause both to the victim and the speaker that has led it to
be considered such a serious prohibition in Judaism?
5. What are some practical steps one can take to be more careful in this area?
Aims of the Unit
Knowledge-Based Aims:
1.
Students will complete the unit with an understanding of the different categories of lashon hara as
defined by traditional sources.
2. Students will understand the reasons why lashon hara is considered so severe a prohibition in
Judaism.
3. Students will be aware of the various types of damage that lashon hara causes.
4. Students will learn techniques to avoid lashon hara.
Skill-Based Aims:
1.
Students will become familiar with traditional Jewish texts and contextualize them historically.
2. Students will apply analytic skills to comprehend traditional Jewish texts.
3. Students will use cooperative learning and chavruta learning techniques in analyzing primary Jewish
texts.
4. Students will extrapolate theoretical constructs to novel situations both fictional and real.
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Value/Faith-Based Aims:
1. Students will be imbued with sensitivity, respect and thoughtfulness concerning their choice of
words and communication.
2. Students will internalize the ramifications and potential damaging effect of misused
communication.
3. Students will be inspired to better themselves through use of positive speech.
4. Students will develop projects to limit lashon hara and develop positive modes of communication.
5. Students will internalize how Jewish Law holds relevance to their life.
Note:
1. Length of Lessons - Lesson designations do not necessarily correspond to single class sessions.
Some lessons are longer than others. The design of each lesson is to complete a sustained subtopic within the larger unit. Also, depending on the individual teacher – more or less time may
be designated for individual sections within a lesson. This is especially true for the amount of
time the teacher allows students to work through source texts. The time designations provided
in this Teacher’s Guide are meant merely as estimations.
2. Assessments – Throughout the unit suggested assessment activities are offered.
Of course, the teacher may choose to use the student answers to questions on source study for
assessment purposes. If so, the teacher should inform students of such and explain how marks
for that work will be assigned.
Additionally, Lesson Assessments for Lessons 1-5 focusing primarily on the textual sources are
separately available.
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Lesson 1
Introduction to the Power of Words
Summary: Students will view the first part of a trigger video introducing a dilemma
regarding the spreading of a damaging rumor. The class will review the facts of the video
and launch into a ‘Courtroom Activity’ to creatively analyze and explore the dilemma in
depth.
Detailed Outline
1. Introduction (5 min):
The teacher should inform students that they will be spending the next several lessons delving into
one of the most fundamental Jewish concepts that define us as human beings. Before we reveal the
identity of this important topic, we will watch a classic American sitcom television show from the early
1970’s to introduce the unit.
Note: To help students view the show with an analytical eye, the teacher should tell them that they are
going to be called upon to carefully scrutinize the actions of the characters, and as such, they must pay
close attention to detail while viewing.
Also, point out in advance to students that the setting of this sitcom is the early 70’s and therefore hair,
clothing and language styles – even the television production quality –are dated. None of this will deter
from the relevance of the message that we ultimately intend to draw from the film.
2. Facts of Life: Front Page - Trigger Sitcom TV Episode from Facts of Live (Part 1) (15 min):
Description of Trigger Episode:
In this episode of Facts of Life, we see Jo’s great desire to become a newspaper reporter.
She makes a great effort to please her teacher in journalism class, Mr. Gideon. Jo does her
assignments beyond what is required by the other students in the class. Despite her efforts,
Jo is constantly being belittled publicly by Mr. Gideon, and therefore grows to hate him with
a passion. When she finds out that Mr. Gideon was arrested at a cocaine party, Jo writes a
headline story for the school newspaper exposing the arrest. Jo claims that this is important
school news, and pushes to get it printed, even though she is warned that she is writing the
story “only to get back at the teacher”. As soon as the school newspaper is published and Jo
becomes an instant campus celebrity among the students, Jo is told that although Mr. Gideon
was arrested at a cocaine party, he was immediately released after found not to have taken
any cocaine.
When Jo realizes her lack of thoroughness and the damage she may have needlessly caused Mr.
Gideon, she goes to apologize to him. She finds him packing his classroom possessions, since
he has been forced to resign as a result of the story, although he was not actually arrested and
did nothing illegal.
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Jo’s apologies mean nothing at this point. Only now, in dialogue with Mr. Gideon, he reveals
that he pushed Jo so hard and held her to higher standard just because he knew that she was
truly talented. At the end of the show, Jo again tries to apologize and offers to help, but there
is nothing she can do at his point.
In this first part of the episode Jo and her friends are arguing over whether to print the story. At this
point the students will be left in the dark as to what will ensue in the remainder of the episode. This
gives them a better chance to objectively analyze the dilemma facing the characters. The remainder of
the episode will be shown next lesson.
3. Review Video (5 min)
Call on students to answer various fact-based questions to review the video so far. This will clarify
the basic order of events and ensure all students understand the storyline. The teacher should call on
various students to respond, and not only those with raised hands.
Possible fact-based questions for the teacher to pose:
Q1 Why does Jo care so much about her journalism class?
She aspires to become a professional newspaper reporter.
Q2 Why does she hate Mr. Gideon, her journalism teacher?
She thought that he picked on her unfairly, embarrassed her publicly, and did not appreciate her
work.
Q3 How does Jo hear about the “scoop” and what is it?
A boy that likes Jo wants to impress her and tells her that Mr. Gideon had been arrested at a
cocaine party. The boy has access to this inside information through his police officer brother that
was involved in the bust.
Q4 What does Jo do when she hears this “news” and why?
She makes a phone call to check the details and decides to write a story in the school newspaper
exposing the teacher and the incident. Jo insists that this is for the good of the school, but it is
clear that she is fueled by revenge.
Q5 What are her friends’ reactions?
Blair is adamant that she should not print the story. The newspaper editor, who is Jo’s friend, is
also against printing it, but Jo puts pressure on her and she gives in.
Now that the basic facts of this part of the video are clear, the class is ready to proceed to analyze the
actions of Jo and her friends in the episode.
Is it right to publish this article?
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4. ‘Courtroom’ Activity (25 min):
• Introduction: In this activity, there are 4 stages.
Stage 1:
Students will act as attorneys, objectively compiling the reasons to either defend or attack
a decision to print the story.
Stage2:
Chosen students will act as the Chief Prosecutor and Defending Attorney giving over the
arguments, while the remainder of the students will act as the jury, hearing the various
summarized arguments.
Stage 3:
Students will discuss the case, as if in a jury chamber, with the teacher as a moderator,
developing and fueling the discussion.
Stage 4:
The entire class, acting as a jury, will vote as to what is the right thing to do. This will be
based on their own subjective opinions.
• Procedure: The teacher tells the students that they have been given the privilege and honorable
task of being lawyers and the jury in the dilemma facing Jo and her friends. What is the right thing
to do?
a. (8 min) STAGE 1. You be the attorney:
The teacher should divide students into 2 groups of attorneys:
1. Group 1 - THE DEFENSE:
have the task of putting together an argument as to why Jo SHOULD print the story.
(Even if the students personally disagree with this, they are to think objectively here, as
if they were hired as attorneys to defend her decision).
2. Group 2 - THE PROSECUTION:
have the task of putting together an argument as to why Jo SHOULD NOT print the story.
(Even if the students personally disagree with this, they are to think objectively here, as
if they were hired as attorneys to attack the position).
The teacher should instruct the groups to begin by appointing a scribe, and writing a list of
the main points of their argument. Once they have their list, they can proceed to develop
their ideas into full arguments.
b. (5 min) STAGE 2. You Be the Jury:
The teacher should divide the board into 2 parts as below:
PRO
Print
CON
Do Not Print
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
_________________________________
Once the attorneys are ready with their arguments, they should choose a Chief Attorneytion
u
to present the case to the rest of the class who are now serving as the jury. trib
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Note: Choosing someone with acting skills can add to the fun of this activity, while the class is
hearing the closing arguments of the Chief Attorney in court
As students present their points, the teacher should summarize them on the board using
the headings above. Students can copy this information into their Student Workbook. Once
the arguments have been presented, the discussion can begin.
c. (8 min) STAGE 3. The Jury Chamber Discussion:
Here the teacher should lead a discussion in the class as if they are a jury deciding on the
case. They now have all the arguments presented and it is up to the students themselves
to express their personal opinions as to what they feel is the right thing to do.
It is important that the teacher fuel the discussion asking questions to ensure that
students are pushed to think about their opinions and those of others and also build a
degree of conflict in the opinions of the class.
Note: If the opinions of the class are not in conflict:
Since at this point the students do not yet know the conclusion of the episode (the students
do not know that Mr. Gideon is innocent, or the damage the article will cause) the teacher
is at an advantage to fuel the discussion with various alternative potential outcomes to the
dilemma. For example; if the majority of students feel that Jo should not print the article because of the
damage it could cause Mr. Gideon, then the teacher can continue the discussion by painting a scenario
where Mr. Gideon turns into a negative influence on students at the school by teaching or modeling
for them negative values. Thus Jo may be doing the students a great favor by exposing this potentially
dangerous man. The key factor for the lesson is to maintain a degree of conflict in the dilemma as this
will open students up to the dilemma.
d. (4 min) STAGE 4. The Vote:
Finally, the jury (the class) should vote. This can be done secretly, by handing out ballots
upon which the students can write either PRO or CON. Alternatively, the teacher can ask
for a show of hands.
5. ‘Cliffhanger’ Conclusion (3 min):
Once the vote has been taken, the teacher can give the final verdict of the jury and then explain that
in Lesson 2 the class will begin with the rest of the episode to see what actually occurred. The teacher
can also explain that after watching the remainder of the episode, the class will take a deep look into
the Torah to see what Judaism teaches us regarding this dilemma.
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Lesson 2
What is Considered Forbidden Speech?
Summary: Students will view the remainder of the episode and analyze the outcome
in light of the previous lesson’s courtroom activity. The class will then explore classical
Jewish sources in depth, defining the basic categories of lashon hara in Judaism.
Students will relate these sources to the trigger video.
Detailed Outline
1. Introduction (5 min):
The teacher should review the basic elements of the previous lesson and the conclusion of the vote.
Students will get to view the remainder of the episode and see what actually happened with Jo’s article.
The majority of the lesson will focus on what our Jewish sources have to teach us regarding the show’s
dilemma.
2. Show the remainder of the episode and discuss (20 min):
• (15 min) Show (Part 2) of Facts of Life Sitcom Episode
• (5 min) Review and Discuss:
a. The teacher should review the basic facts of what happened in this second segment.
b. During the review, the teacher should draw upon how the opinions of the students in the class
were in line or not in line with the conclusion in the show. If, for example, there were students
who noted that printing the article would cause irrevocable damage, then the teacher should
point out how this had indeed been the case. If, for example, a student had expressed that
perhaps Jo’s knowledge of the facts was incomplete, the teacher should note that this had indeed
been the case.
With this, the teacher can now proceed to the next stage of the unit, using the Torah sources to shed
light on the issues raised in the dilemma in the show.
3. Chavruta Learning Session (40 min):
• Introduction: The teacher should divide students into chavruta pairs (learning partners). The teacher
should be very explicit with students as to what is expected of them during chavruta learning to
ensure the maximum benefit and productivity during this designated cooperative learning period.
A basic guide on effective chavruta study may be found in the Student Workbook to this unit and is
reproduced above at the beginning of the unit.
• Procedure:
a. Introductory Questions: The teacher should introduce the learning with the following key
questions:
1. Is what Jo did an actual sin in Judaism?
2. If so, what sin did Jo transgress?
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3. Is writing an article in a newspaper the same thing as saying or speaking about others in a
negative way? If there are differences, what are they?
4. If Jo was really trying to protect the students from a cocaine user, would that make what she
did acceptable?
5. If the information is factually true, is sharing it with others no longer sinful?
The teacher may decide to let some students offer their initial opinions but should, for the most
part, leave these questions unanswered for now, allowing the source learning to address the
key issues.
b. Study Sources - “The Power of Words Part 1”: The sources may be found in the Student Workbook.
The sources contain texts accompanied by leading and thought questions to help guide student
learning. Students should spend 40 minutes learning the sources and answering the questions.
After regrouping, the teacher should review the material with the entire class. The final summary
and question on the last page should be left blank as students will use this during class while
summarizing the material together with the teacher.
4. Reviewing the Sources (40 min):
• Introduction: After students regroup, the teacher should review the text material. The teacher
should review the key points and how they relate to the dilemma in the video, summarizing in a
table on the board and in the Student Workbook. This can be done by calling upon students to
offer their answers to the questions in their Student Workbook and by discussing each one briefly
as described below in detail.
The sources deal with the basic definitions of the different types of forbidden speech according
to Jewish Law. The 4 main categories are:
a. Rechilut (Gossiping):
Greg tells Sam that Bob did something to or said something about Sam.
b. Lashon Hara (truthful negative speech):
Greg says something negative which is true about Sam to Bob.
c. Motzi Shem Ra (false negative speech):
Greg says something negative which is false about Sam to Bob.
d. Ona’at Devarim (hurtful words):
Greg speaks harshly or in a hurtful way to Bob. Greg embarrasses Bob.
• Procedure: According to the sources and questions, the following key points should be made
explicit. Everyday examples of forbidden speech are provided below for the teacher’s benefit:
Section 1: Rechilut (Gossiping)
1. Leviticus 19:16
Do not peddle gossip among your people … I am God.
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.'‫ ֲא ִני ה‬... ‫ ָר ִכיל ְבּ ַע ֶמּי‬‫א ֵת ֵל‬
2. Rabbi Yosef Karo1, Kesef Mishneh, De’ot 7:1
One who “peddles gossip” (rechilut)[Leviticus 19:16] refers to
a person who says, “So-and-so said such-and-such about you”,
or “So-and-so did the following to you …” even though the
information is not necessarily intrinsically negative [but can
nevertheless provoke arguments between parties] … since he
carries the information around from one person to another, he
is called a “peddler” [a traveling salesman of gossip].
‫אָמר‬
ַ ‫לוֹני‬
ִ ‫"פּ‬
ְ ‫אוֹמר‬
ֵ ‫ֶשׁ ָר ִכיל ַהיְ נוּ ָה‬
"‫ ָכּ‬‫"ע ָשׂה ְל‬
ָ ‫" אוֹ‬‫ וְ ָכ‬‫ ָכּ‬‫ָע ֶלי‬
...‫אַף ַעל ִפּי ֶשׁאוֹתוֹ ָדּ ָבר ֵאינוֹ ְגּנוּת‬
‫ ָלזֶה‬‫הוֹל‬
ֵ ְ‫טּוֹען ְדּ ָב ִרים ִמזֶּה ו‬
ֵ ‫ֵכּיוָן ֶשׁ‬
.‫יקּ ֵרי‬
ְ ‫ָר ִכיל ִמ‬
Q1 Using the definition from this source explain how rechilut provokes arguments between
people.
Rechilut provokes arguments between people by creating distrust and tension, as well as hatred
and anger. For example: Jenny hears Alex tell a group of friends that Shani is so annoying. When
Shani one day annoys Jenny, Jenny says to her “Alex was right when he said you can be so annoying
( well as ona’at devarim) and would create major tension between
sometimes”. This is Rechilut (as
Shani and Alex.
Section 2: Lashon Hara (Derogatory Speech)
3. Rambam2, Mishneh Torah,
Torah, De’ot 7:2
There is a transgression that is much worse than rechilut,
rechilut
also included in the prohibition of “do not peddle gossip.”
hara or derogatory speech.
This is known as lashon hara,
This refers to someone who speaks in a derogatory manner
about someone else – even though what he says is true …
‫ וְ הוּא ִבּ ְכ ָלל‬,‫יֵשׁ ָעווֹן גָּדוֹל ִמזֶּה ַעד ְמאֹד‬
‫ וְ הוּא ַה ְמּ ַס ֵפּר‬,‫ָלאו זֶה וְ הוּא ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע‬
...‫אוֹמר ֱא ֶמת‬
ֵ ‫ִבּ ְגנוּת ֲח ֵברוֹ אַף ַעל ִפּי ֶשׁ‬
Someone who speaks lashon hara will say negative and
derogatory things like, “So-and-so did the following …” or
“So-and-so’s parents did the following …” or “I heard the
following about So-and-so …” …
‫אוֹמר‬
ֵ ְ‫יוֹשׁב ו‬
ֵ ‫ַבּ ַעל ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע זֶה ֶשׁהוּא‬
‫בוֹתיו‬
ָ ‫ ָהיוּ ֲא‬‫ וְ ָכ‬‫לוֹני ָכּ‬
ִ ‫ ָע ָשׂה ְפּ‬‫ וְ ָכ‬‫ָכּ‬
.‫אוֹמר ִדּ ְב ֵרי ְגּנַאי‬
ֵ ְ‫ ָשׁ ַמ ְע ִתּי ָע ָליו ו‬‫ וְ ָכ‬‫וְ ָכ‬
Q2 According to Rambam, what is the difference between lashon hara and rechilut?
Lashon hara is statements by person A about person B to person C.
Rechilut is person A telling person B what person C did to them or said about them.
An example of lashon hara would be: Arny said to James “Mr. Simon is such a boring teacher”.
An example of rechilut would be: James tells Mr. Simon “Arny said you were a boring teacher”. Lashon
Hara spreads negativity and rechilut creates negativity between people.
Q3 We see from this source that lashon hara is saying negative TRUTHFUL statements about
people. Why do you think many people mistakenly assume that if the information is true
Rabbi Yosef Karo (Toledo, Spain, 1488-Sefad, Israel, 1575) was the author of the Shulchan Aruch – the most important and basic
Jewish legal code to this day.
2 Rambam or Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon or Maimonides (Cordoba, Spain, 1135- Egypt, 1204) was a great Rabbi, Jewish Philosopher
and Halachist. Among other things, he authored the 14 volume Mishneh Torah - codifying all of Jewish Law whether applicable
today or only relevant in the future.
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then it is permitted to share it with others?
Perhaps because once it is determined to be true they feel no responsibility for the negativity
associated with it. Rather it is the subject of the lashon hara who is responsible. The Torah teaches
us that it is forbidden to talk badly about people even if it is true as there is no constructive purpose
in sharing the information whatsoever. For example: Greg says, “Did you hear that Joey just got the
new Ipad? His parents indulge him so much, he gets whatever he wants from them!” Even though this
may be true, it is said with no constructive purpose and is therefore lashon hara and completely
forbidden. The speaker of lashon hara rationalizes that what he is saying is permissible because it is
true, but in fact the reason he is saying it is often coming from a very negative place; often lashon
hara is driven by a desire to to belittle the other person, or out of revenge, or because of a jealousy
he might have of this person, or because of the enjoyment he gets from putting others down – all
veiled negative motives underlying his speaking of lashon hara
hara.
Section 3: Motzi Shem Ra (Slander)
4. Rambam, Mishneh Torah,, De’ot 7:2
[The previous cases refer to someone who speaks negative
information that is true.] Someone who speaks derogatory or
harmful information about someone that is untrue is called a
motzi shem ra).
ra
slanderer (motzi
‫מוֹציא‬
ִ ‫אוֹמר ֶשׁ ֶקר ִנ ְק ָרא‬
ֵ ‫ֲא ָבל ָה‬
.‫ֵשׁם ַרע ַעל ֲח ֵברוֹ‬
Q4 What is the key difference between lashon hara and motzi shem ra
ra?
The key difference between lashon hara and motzi shem ra is that lashon hara is true while motzi
shem ra is a lie. Which is more severe? The latter is considered even more severe. Here you have the
serious Torah prohibition of lying on top of the derogatory speech. Why would someone spread a
negative lie about another person? Here there is also no possible rationalization of “but it is true!”
Rather, the motives of the speaker are deeply negative – jealousy, hatred, anger or the like.
Q5 According to the sources so far, what type of sin did Jo commit: lashon hara, motzi shem
ra or rechilut? Does it make a difference that Jo thought she was telling the truth?
That which Jo did was considered lashon hara because, although what she wrote about Mr. Gideon
was in fact false, she, at the time, thought it to be true. Thus, from her perspective, Jo had not
knowingly lied. One could add that if her article involved sensationalizing and exaggerating the
story in order to sound more exciting, then, it would be considered lying and motzi shem ra. In
addition, from Mr. Gideon’s perspective, it made no difference that Jo thought it was true. He was
left having a false rumor being spread about him.
Q6 If you found out that someone had spread a negative rumor about you, which would you
feel more hurt by: motzi shem ra (a lie) or lashon hara (something true) ? Why? Think of
Mr. Gideon.
From Mr. Gideon’s perspective, it made no difference that Jo thought it was true; it is still so painful
to know a false rumor has been spread about you.
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Section 4: Does it Matter How the Information is Communicated?
Q7 Does the fact that Jo wrote the article instead of spreading it verbally make it any less
forbidden? Can you think of a quote that Jo herself said in the show as a proof to your
answer? (Think first and then see the next source).
The man most responsible for bringing sensitivity to lashon hara to the Jewish community was
Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan (1838-1933), known also as the Chofetz Chaim, the name of the first book
he wrote. That book was about the laws of lashon hara-forbidden speech, which he wrote together
with another book entitled Sefer Shemirat HaLashon, intended to inspire people to be more careful
with their speech. In it he writes that it makes no difference if the words are spoken or written. Both
forms of communication violate this sin. The fact that Jo wrote her lashon hara instead of speaking
it didn’t make it any less of a transgression. Jo herself says in the episode “the pen is mightier than
the sword” showing how she understood the power of the written word. Hinting negative things
about others is also considered a transgression of lashon hara. For example: When Jenny walked
into the room, Sally rolled her eyes to Alex indicating their dislike for Jenny.
5. Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan3, Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Lashon Hara1:8
The prohibition against communicating
lashon hara applies whether one conveys the
information verbally or in writing. There is also
no difference between relating lashon hara
explicitly or through hinting.
‫ִאסּוּר זֶה ֶשׁל ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע הוּא ֵבּין ִאם הוּא ְמ ַס ֵפּר ָע ָליו‬
‫ וְ גַם‬.‫כּוֹתב ָע ָליו ָדּ ָבר זֶה ְבּ ִמ ְכ ָתּבוֹ‬
ֵ ‫ְבּ ִפיו ַמ ָמּשׁ אוֹ ֶשׁהוּא‬
‫ֵאין ִחלּוּק ֵבּין ִאם הוּא ְמ ַס ֵפּר ָע ָליו ַה ָלּשׁוֹן ָה ַרע ֶשׁלּוֹ‬
‫וּבין ִאם הוּא ְמ ַס ֵפּר ָע ָליו ַה ָלּשׁוֹן ָה ַרע ְבּ ֶד ֶר‬
ֵ ‫ְבּ ֵפרוּשׁ‬
.‫ ְבּ ָכל גַּוְ נֵי ִבּ ְכ ָלל ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע הוּא‬.‫ֶר ֶמז‬
Q8 Can you think of some examples in today’s world where it is easy to fall into the trap of
lashon hara, rechilut or motzi shem ra through writing?
In today’s world with YouTube, texting, WhatsApp, Facebook, email and other internet social media,
it has become very easy to see the power of negative forbidden communication through writing
and images. With the click of a finger, thousands of people can read negative, embarrassing forms
of lashon hara instantly. The amount of cyber bullying that takes place among young people is
staggering. It has lead to numerous suicides, especially among girls. We need to think carefully
before pressing the ‘send’ button on an email or upon the uploading of a video to social media.
Q9. Why do you think people might find it easier to engage in language through writing rather
than direct speech?
It is often easier to ‘write’ lashon hara than speak it directly. When it comes to writing one can
remain anonymous. Anonymous lashon hara is by nature less direct, as one can simply write the
lashon hara without having to confront the person. Doing so might have the effect of making one
feel guilty or negatively judged for speaking badly about others. As an example, people who are
shy and timid in person can be quite vocal and aggressive on social media portals. Behind the mask
of a username, people feel less ‘watched’ and thus they feel freer to be unkind to others.
3 Rabbi Yisreal Meir Kagan is also known as Chofetz Chaim for a major work on the ills of engaging in lashon hara (1838-1933,
Radun, Lithuania). Rabbi Kagan wrote a major commentary to the first section of the Shulchan Aruch and was the first to write
a comprehensive legal code on the laws of lashon hara by the title Safer Chafetz Chaim.
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Section 5: Ona’at Devarim (Hurtful words)
6. Rambam, Sefer HaMitzvot, Negative Mitzvah 251
We are instructed not to cause emotional distress to
each other with our words [ona’at devarim]. This includes
statements that cause another person pain, anger, or
embarrassment…The source in the Torah is, “Do not aggrieve
your fellow, and you shall fear your God” [Leviticus 25:17].
The Talmud tells us that the verse is referring to causing
emotional distress with our words [ona’at devarim].
‫ירנוּ ֵמהוֹנוֹת ְק ָצ ֵתנוּ ֶאת ְק ָצ ֵתנוּ‬
ָ ‫ֶשׁ ִהזְ ִה‬
‫ֹאמר לוֹ ַמ ֲא ָמ ִרים‬
ַ ‫ וְ הוּא ֶשׁנּ‬.‫ִבּ ְד ָב ִרים‬
‫יוּכל ַל ֲעמֹד‬
ַ ‫א‬ ְ‫י ְַכ ִאיבוּהוּ וְ י ְַכ ִעיסוּהוּ ו‬
‫(בּ ַהר‬
ְ ‫אָמרוֹ‬
ְ ‫ וְ הוּא‬...‫ִמ ְפּנֵי ֶשׁיִּ ְת ַבּיֵּשׁ ֵמ ֶהם‬
‫את‬
ָ ‫ָר‬
ֵ ‫א תּוֹנוּ ִאישׁ ֶאת ֲע ִמיתוֹ וְ י‬ ְ‫פ' יז) ו‬
‫אָמרוּ זוֹ אוֹנָאַת ְדּ ָב ִרים (ב"מ‬
ְ .‫הי‬
ֶ ‫ֵמ ֱא‬
.)‫נח ב‬
Q10 How is ona’at devarim, different from the 3 other categories of forbidden speech?
Ona’at devarim applies when the person is speaking directly to the victim in hurtful ways. Surprisingly,
this is the most common form of forbidden speech as it can be very subtle and often unintentional.
For example: Joey is feeling frustrated and is in a rush to get somewhere when George, his friend
comes to ask him a question and takes his time in asking it. Joey says “ Are you blind?! I don’t have
all the time in the world, you know. Can’t you see I’m in a rush?” Ona’at devarim can be a daily
occurrence if people are not careful to think before they speak and ask themselves, ““How will these
words or this manner of speech make the other person feel?”
feel?”.. Often, it is also the people we love
the most, that we hurt the most with our words (family members, friends etc.). Admittedly, this is
very difficult to control, but it is possible.
Q11 Is the manner in which Mr. Gideon “pushed” Jo forbidden according to the Torah? What
could he have done differently to “push” her to suceed?
Was Mr. Gideon completely free of guilt? After all, his method of pushing Jo is considered ona’at
devarim (forbidden hurtful words) and if he had been more sensitive in his approach, the whole
dilemma may have been avoided. While this does not take away from Jo’s guilt in the matter, it is
important to point out the part that Mr. Gideon played.
Q12 In her final conversation with Mr. Gideon, Jo asked Mr. Gideon why he criticized her and
made her feel stupid. How can we give criticsm without causing pain with our words?
We must be very careful in giving any form of criticism as it can often lead to ona’at devarim and
embarrassment, which is a severe Torah transgression. As a result, there are many details in Jewish
law as to how to give criticism softly, gently, and in private and only in a very specific constructive
manner by the right person at the right time. Being too quick to criticize is one of the most common
forms of ona’at devarim. Some examples: “You are so lazy, you know!” or “Why are you so annoying?”
or “Why do you always say such stupid things?” etc.
• Summarize: Students should summarize the main points of the sources in the final table in their
Student Workbook. If time does not permit it may be assigned as homework.
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Summary of Main Points
Type of Forbidden Speech
Definition
Examples from Video
In English:
In Hebrew:
In English:
In Hebrew:
In English:
In Hebrew:
In English:
In Hebrew:
Note: Time permitting, the teacher should also point out that it was not only Jo and Mr.
Gideon who violated the laws of forbidden speech in the show. The teacher may pose the
question if any other characters in the show also transgressed violations of lashon hara or
ona’at devarim? The answer is that from the very moment that Jo spoke to her friends about
Mr. Gideon and how much she dislikes him, she was already speaking lashon hara. So too, the boy who
was trying to ask Jo on a date spoke lashon hara and Jo spoke ona’at devarim to him in her trying to
palm him off. If we actually go back and analyze the way the characters interacted, we will find instances
of forbidden speech throughout the show.
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5. Conclusion and Assessment Activity (5 min):
• Concluding Question:
After we have seen the various forms of forbidden speech, it seems clear that what Jo did was
forbidden by Jewish law. What if, however, Jo’s intentions were pure, and her publishing the
article was a genuine attempt to save the school from the influence of a drug-using teacher? Is
it still lashon hara if you are trying to benefit others or save them from some harm? Surely there
must be times when one must speak up?
The final question at the bottom of the last page of the source materia deals with this and should
be completed for homework. This important element will be dealt with in the next lesson.
Assessment Activity
The teacher can assign students to make a list of the types of forbidden speech that
they learned about in this lesson and provide 3 everyday examples for each (using
fictitious scenarios of course). The examples can be short and to the point.
This will enable students to review and apply what they learned in this lesson.
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Lesson 3
When is Lashon Hara Allowed?
Summary: This lesson will explore the conditions that need to be in place in order to
relate negative information about another person.
These conditions, discovered in the forthcoming sources, will be applied to the case in
the trigger film to better understand where the character went wrong and what the
correct course of action would have been.
Detailed Outline
1. Introduction (5 min):
The teacher should review the points discussed in the last lesson. This lesson will begin with the topic
of permissible lashon hara.
2. What conditions did Jo and her friends come up with to justify their actions? (10 min)
• Introduction: The teacher should remind the students of the key question they were given for
homework:
In what circumstances and under what conditions do you think lashon hara should
be allowed? Did Jo’s case meet any of these conditions?
• Procedure: The teacher should allow a few students to read their responses. The teacher can write
down the conditions that students have come up with on the board as shown in the example
below:
WHEN...
WHEN...
When might
lashon hara
be permitted?
WHEN...
WHEN...
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3. In-Class Source Learning (15 min):
• Procedure:
a. Learning of sources for Lesson 3: Once a number of student responses have been recorded on
the board, the teacher should direct students to the lengthy sources in the Student Workbook
for Lesson 3. These sources provide a description of the conditions that must be met in order to
allow lashon hara. These sources are presented in Hebrew and in an adapted English translation
divided into 3 different scenarios.
b. Match it up: The teacher can allow for chavruta study of the sources or use a frontal approach in
studying the sources together with students. The teacher should point out if there are matches
between what students came up with and what is stated in the halacha. If there is a match, place
a check next to the students’ condition. Conditions that students came up with which do NOT
coincide with the halacha can be marked as such (with an X, for example).
Adapted Translation:
Situation 1:
Sefer Chofetz Chaim,, Hilchot Isurei Rechilut 10:1
1. If a person (Greg) sees that his fellow (Bob) wants to
join another fellow (Sam) in some partnership, and
Greg figures that a partnership with Sam will definitely
cause Bob harm (financial, emotional, physical etc.),
then Greg must tell Bob in order to save him from
this danger. However, he must meetthe following
5 conditions in order to relate anything bad about
Sam:
1. He must be careful not to be too quick to assume that
the case is going to result in danger for Bob. Rather,
he must first carefully considerwhether it will actually
be bad for Bob.
2. When telling Bob the information, he must take care
not to exaggerate and describe the case as being
worse than it really is.
3. Greg must be telling Bob only for the constructive
purpose of preventing harm from coming to Bob
and should not have any outside motivations, such
as hatred towards Sam, a desire to belittle him or a
desire to seek revenge from him.
4. If Greg can think of a different way to achieve the
desired purpose without telling Bob anything negative
about Sam, then he must do so and not speak badly
about Sam.
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‫ ִאם ֶא ָחד‬,‫ְבּ ֵאיזֶה א ֶֹפן ֻמ ָתּר ְל ַס ֵפּר ָלשׁוֹן ָה ָרע‬
‫אָדם‬
ָ ‫ ְדּ ֵבין‬,‫שּׁוּרה ְבּ ִע ְני ִָנים‬
ָ ‫א ַכּ‬‫ַהג ֶשׁ‬
ֵ ‫ִה ְתנ‬
...‫תוֹע ֶלת‬
ֶ ‫ וְ ַה ְמ ַס ֵפּר ַהזֶּה ְמ ַכוֵּן ַרק ְל‬,‫ַל ֲח ֵברוֹ‬
‫רוֹצה ְל ִה ְשׁ ַתּ ֵתּף‬
ֶ ‫ ֶשׁ ֲח ֵברוֹ‬,‫רוֹאה‬
ֶ ‫ ִאם ֶא ָחד‬..1
‫ַדּאי‬
ַ ‫ וְ הוּא ְמ ַשׁ ֵער ֶשׁ ְבּו‬,‫ְבּ ֵאיזֶה ָדּ ָבר ִעם ֶא ָחד‬
‫ ְל ַה ִגּיד‬‫ ָצ ִרי‬,‫יְ ֻס ַבּב לוֹ ַעל יְ ֵדי זֶה ִע ְניָן ַרע‬
,‫לוֹ ְכּ ֵדי ְל ַה ִצּילוֹ ִמן ָה ִע ְניָן ָה ַרע ַההוּא‬
‫ ָלזֶה ֲח ִמ ָשּׁה ְפּ ָר ִטים ֶשׁ ֲא ָב ֲא ֵרם‬‫ ָצ ִרי‬‫אַ‬
:‫ וְ ֵאלּוּ ֵהן‬:‫ְבּ ָסמוּ‬
‫ַח ִליט ֵתּ ֶכף ֶאת ָה ִע ְניָן‬
ְ ‫א י‬‫ ֶשׁ‬,‫ָהר ְמאֹד‬
ֵ ‫א) יִ זּ‬
‫יטב‬
ֵ ‫ ַרק יִ ְתבּוֹנֵן ֵה‬,‫ְבּ ַד ְעתּוֹ ְל ִע ְניָן ַרע‬
:‫ ִאם הוּא ְבּ ֶע ֶצם ַרע‬,‫ִמ ְתּ ִח ָלּה‬
‫יוֹתר‬
ֵ ‫א י ְַג ִדּיל ְבּ ִספּוּרוֹ ֶאת ָה ִע ְניָן ְל ַרע‬‫ב) ֶשׁ‬
:‫ִמ ַמּה ֶשּׁהוּא‬
‫ָקין‬
ִ ‫ ְל ַס ֵלּק ַה ְנּז‬,‫ ְדּ ַהיְ נוּ‬,‫תוֹע ֶלת‬
ֶ ‫ג) ֶשׁיְּ ַכוֵּן ַרק ְל‬
...:‫א ִמ ַצּד ִשׂ ְנאָה ַעל ַה ֶשּׁ ְכּנ ְֶגדּוֹ‬ ְ‫ ו‬,‫ִמזֶּה‬
,‫תּוֹע ֶלת ַהזּוֹ‬
ֶ ‫ד) ִאם הוּא יָכוֹל ְל ַס ֵבּב ֶאת ַה‬
,‫ ְלגַלּוֹת ְל ָפנָיו ִע ְנ ָינָיו ְל ַרע‬‫ִמ ְבּ ִלי ֶשׁיִּ ְצ ָט ֵר‬
:‫ֵאין ְל ַס ֵפּר ָע ָליו‬
‫א יְ ֻס ַבּב ַעל יְ ֵדי‬ ‫ ַרק ִאם‬,‫ה) ָכּל זֶה ֵאינוֹ ֻמ ָתּר‬
‫ָרעוּ‬
ֵ ‫א י‬‫ ֶשׁ‬,‫ ְדּ ַהיְ נוּ‬,‫ַה ִסּפּוּר ָר ָעה ַמ ָמּשׁ ַל ִנּדּוֹן‬
‫תּוּסר ִמ ֶמּנּוּ ַעל יְ ֵדי זֶה‬
ַ ‫ ַרק ֶשׁ‬,‫ִעמּוֹ ַמ ָמּשׁ‬
‫ אַף‬,‫עוֹשׂה ִעמּוֹ ַה ֶשּׁ ְכּנ ְֶגדּוֹ‬
ֶ ‫ ֶשׁ ָהיָה‬,‫טּוֹבה‬
ָ ‫ַה‬
‫ ִמ ָכּל ָמקוֹם‬,‫ילא ָדּ ָבר זֶה הוּא ָר ָעה לוֹ‬
ָ ‫ְדּ ִמ ֵמּ‬
‫יע לוֹ ַעל יְ ֵדי ִספּוּרוֹ ָר ָעה‬
ַ ‫ ֲא ָבל ִאם י ִַגּ‬.‫ֻמ ָתּר‬
‫ ָלזֶה‬‫ ִכּי יִ ְצ ָט ֵר‬,‫ (ז) אָסוּר ְל ַס ֵפּר ָע ָליו‬,‫ַמ ָמּשׁ‬
‫ וִ יב ֲֹארוּ ְל ַק ָמּן ִאם יִ ְר ֶצה‬,‫(ח) עוֹד ְפּ ָר ִטים‬
5. All this is only allowed if it will not cause Sam to be
harmed in any way. Sam’s only loss is some potential
good (in this case a partnership with Bob). Sam should
suffer any actual damage or evil.
,‫רוֹאה‬
ֶ ‫ וְ ָכל ֶשׁ ֵכּן ִאם הוּא‬.'‫ה' ְבּ ָס ִעיף ה' ו‬
)‫ֶשׁיְּ ֻס ַבּב ַעל יְ ֵדי ִספּוּרוֹ ַל ִנּדּוֹן ָר ָעה ַר ָבּה (ט‬
‫ וְ ַעיֵּן‬.‫ ְדּאָסוּר ְל ַס ֵפּר ָע ָליו‬,‫יוֹתר ִמ ְכּ ִפי ַה ִדּין‬
ֵ
:‫ ַמה ֶשּׁ ָכּ ַת ְבנוּ ָשׁם‬,'‫ְל ַק ָמּן ְבּ ָס ִעיף ה‬
Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Isurei Lashon Hara 10:1
Situation 2:
from Sefer Chofetz Chaim, Hilchot Isurei Lashon
Hara 10:1
In a situation where Greg sees or knows with certainty
that Sam has already harmed Bob in some way (for
example, Sam stole from Bob) Greg is allowed to relate
this information to Bob to ensure it is corrected(for
example, the stolen item is returned) or to tell others
in order to show people how bad such acts are, but he
must fulfill all 7 conditions (5 above and 2 below):
6. Greg, as the speaker of the negative information,
must have witnessed the incident himself, and not
have heard about it from someone else, unless he is
able to verify its truthfulness.
7. Greg must first attempt to approach Sam the offender,
if possible, and gently rebuke him for his misdeed and
urge him to set things right. (This condition does not
necessarily apply when the speaker is sure he won’t
be listened to.)
‫אָדם ֶשׁ ָע ָשׂה ַעוְ ָלה ַל ֲח ֵברוֹ ְכּגוֹן‬
ָ ‫ִאם ֶא ָחד ָראָה‬
‫נוֹדע לוֹ ְבּ ֵברוּר‬
ַ ְ‫ ו‬...‫ֶשׁ ְגּזָלוֹ אוֹ ֲע ְָשקוֹ אוֹ ִה ִזּיקוֹ‬
‫ יָכוֹל ְל ַס ֵפּר ַה ְדּ ָב ִרים‬...‫ֵלה‬
ָ ‫א ֵה ִשׁיב ֶאת ַה ְגּז‬‫ֶשׁ‬
‫וּלגַנּוֹת‬
ְ ,‫אָשׁם לוֹ‬
ַ ‫אָדם ְכּ ֵדי ַל ֲעזֹר ַל ֲא ֶשׁר‬
ָ ‫ִל ְבנֵי‬
‫ָהר‬
ֵ ‫ יִ זּ‬‫ אַ‬.‫ַה ַמּ ֲע ִשׂים ָה ָר ִעים ִבּ ְפנֵי ַה ְבּ ִריּוֹת‬
‫ַח ְסרוּ ֵאלּוּ ַה ִשּׁ ְב ָעה ְפּ ָר ִטים ֶשׁ ְנּ ָב ֲא ֵרם‬
ְ ‫א י‬‫ֶשׁ‬
.‫ְבּ ָסמוּ‬
‫א ַעל יְ ֵדי‬ ְ‫ ו‬,‫א) ֶשׁיִּ ְר ֶאה ָדּ ָבר זֶה ְבּ ַע ְצמוֹ‬
‫א ֶשׁ ִנּ ְת ָבּ ֵרר לוֹ‬ ‫יעה ֵמ ֲא ֵח ִרים ִאם‬
ָ ‫ְשׁ ִמ‬
.‫ ֶשׁ ַה ָדּ ָבר ֱא ֶמת‬‫אַחר ָכּ‬
ַ
‫וּב ָלשׁוֹן ַר ָכּה‬
ְ ‫חוֹטא ִמ ְתּ ִח ָלּה‬
ֵ ‫יח ֶאת ַה‬
ַ ‫יּוֹכ‬
ִ ‫ג) ֶשׁ‬
...‫הוֹעיל לוֹ‬
ִ ‫יוּכל ְל‬
ַ ‫אוּלי‬
ַ
Situation 3: Adapted from Guard your Tongue, by Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, pp 57-58
If Greg sees Sam committing an offense between him and God only (e.g. taking drugs) and it is a onetime offense, rather than something ongoing:
• If possible, Greg must first give Same the benefit of the doubt andjudge him favorably.
If there is no doubt as to what Sam was doing, Greg still may not relate this information, rather
he must kindly and gently approach Sam to help him not repeat this negative action.
• If Greg is certain that Sam will not accept his help and will likely repeat the offense, then if the
above conditions are met, Greg should contact an authority or Sam’s relatives, if they will be able
to help him stop.
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4. Summarize and Compare to Jo’s case (10 min):
• Procedure:
a. Summary table: The teacher should summarize the correct conditions into a table with the 7 key
points and a column for Jo’s case (See sample below). Students should copy this table into their
Student Workbook.
b. What about Jo? Ask the class to think which of the conditions did Jo not fulfill? The teacher should
go through each condition with the class, discussing how Jo did or did not fulfill the condition,
marking a check or X in the table. As seen below:
Summary
●
When Is Lashon Hara Allowed?
Necessary Condition
Jo’s Case
1. One must have witnessed the event or be absolutely sure it is
truthful.
2. One must determine that what happened is definitely negative. One
must not be too quick to decide.
3. One must first try to approach the offender himself if possible.
4. One must not exaggerate.
5. One’s intent must be ONLY for constructive benefit – and not from
any ulterior motive.
6. If one can achieve the same results without saying anything negative,
then one must do so instead.
7. One must make sure that what he will say does not cause further
harm to the offender than what he would face were he to be brought
to Bet Din [Jewish court of law].
When we look at the conditions of lashon hara, we see how Jo’s case is a classic example of what
not to do. She fulfilled none of the seven conditions.
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5. How should Jo have acted? (5 min)
• Concluding Question: What should Jo have done?
Students can be given quiet time to write what they think the answer is before the teacher
reviews the answer with the class.
• Answer:
a. Jo should have listened to her friends who warned her that she was acting out of hatred and
revenge rather than with pure motives.
b. She should have put more effort into finding out the facts.
c. If it had turned out that Mr. Gideon had indeed been involved in something which would
render him unfit to serve as a teacher in the school, then Jo should have approached him first
before anyone else if she thought this would help.
d. If approaching him would not have beeen possible then she should have considered whether
there was another way to deal with the situation without speaking badly about him.
e. If not, she could quietly go to a superior in the school with the ability to deal with the situation
with Mr. Gideon personally without anyone else finding out.
This option is only appropriate if:
1. Mr. Gideon would be treated fairly according to what he did and would not be harmed
beyond reason.
2. Jo would take care not to exaggerate in the process of relating the information to the
superior, and only have the benefit of others in mind.
Note: It is important that in cases of suspected teacher abuse, students are encouraged
to seek the guidance of adults in how best to come forward with the details. We do not
want to burden students with thinking they should conceal their knowledge or suspicions
for fear that they may be transgressing laws of lashon hara
hara. As a general rule, students
should share their initial concerns with their parents and then share the information with superiors
and authorities as the case warrants. In most cases it is ill advised for the student to confront the
teacher directly and independently as this may place them in unnecessary risk for reprisals on the
part of the accused.
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6. A Story: “Who Wants Life?” (5 min)
The teacher may conclude the lesson with the following inspirational story, adapted from the Talmud,
Avoda Zarah 19b with the comments of Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan HaCohen – The Chofetz Chaim.
There was once a man named Reb Alexandry. He lived in a little village in Israel in
the days when the Temple still stood in Jerusalem. Reb Alexandry worked as a pharmacist. He
would produce and mix medicines for people who were ill and help them back to recovery. One
morning, it was a regular market day, and the town square was filled with the usual salespeople
selling their wares. Something was different, though. There was a large crowd of people all
starting to gather around one salesman’s table. More and more people rushed over to see what
the commotion was about. One young boy, interested to see what was happening, made his
way through the throngs of people and caught sight of what was going on. It was very strange–
there in the middle of all those people was the wise Reb Alexandry shouting out at the top of
his lungs “WHO WANTS LIFE? WHO WANTS LIFE?”
“What is Reb Alexandry talking about?” thought the young boy.“What does he mean?”
The young boy decided to ask one of the older men standing there in the crowd. The man
explained that Reb Alexandry was a pharmacist and he must have developed some new wonder
drug to increase people’s life span. Everyone was gathered waiting to see what Reb Alexandry
had concocted and ready to pay whatever fee he asked.
The young boy was puzzled. “Medicine that gives you longer life? How could that be?”
Suddenly, the crowd was hushed by Reb Alexandry who wanted to say something.
“ Ladies and Gentlemen, do you want life?!” asked Reb Alexandry.
The crowd roared with a resounding “Yes!”
“Well,” explained Reb Alexandry, “Who is the one who desires life and loves days of seeing
good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit(Psalms 34)!”
The crowd finally understood. Reb Alexandry hadn’t developed any new wonder drug.
The “medicine” he was offering was the wisdom of King David in Psalms. Guarding your tongue from
lashon hara leads to longer life in this world and the next. Reb Alexandry was reminding the crowds
of people that just as they might be willing to run and pay for some wonder drug to give them long
life, so too they should be eager to work on putting an end to speaking negatively about others.
• (1 min) Concluding Message: Holding back from speaking lashon hara earns a person untold
reward in this world and the next. Additionally, as we have seen, speaking lashon hara can be
extremely destructive. In the next lesson we will endeavor to learn about the severity of the sin
of lashon hara and why it is so damaging.
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Lesson 4
Part 1:
Is Lashon Hara Really So Bad?
Summary:
This lesson explores the severity of lashon hara and the immense irretrievable damage
it causes. The lesson uses fun interactive trigger games, source learning, and powerful
messages to help students internalize the learning.
Detailed Outline
1. Introduction “The Scale Game” (10 min):
• Procedure: The teacher should paste sheets of paper with numbers 1-5 (one number each) in
large writing on a classroom wall prior to the lesson.
On another 5 sheets of paper, the teacher should write 5 transgressions that are known to be
severe in Judaism. For example, the teacher can use: Murder, Adultery, Eating on Yom Kippur,
Hara
Worshipping Idols, and Lashon Hara.
The teacher should explain to students that they are to place the sheets of paper with the
transgressions written on them on the scale of severity - with 1 being the least severe and 5
being the most severe. The class may argue over the order, but must come to some conclusion
within 5 minutes. Encourage discussion. After the students have come up with an order, they can
return to their seats for the next stage of the lesson.
Lashon hara will most likely have been placed near to the least severe of the group. This will serve
as an introduction to the sources that will be studied in this lesson which will show the surprising
severity of the transgression of lashon hara.
2. Chavruta Source Learning (30 min):
• (5 min) Introduction: As students commence learning about how bad lashon hara really is, the
teacher should begin by asking them the following question: There is the famous children’s rhyme,
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Is this really true?
The students should consider in what ways words can sometimes be even more damaging than
weapons. During this discussion, the following points might be made:
a. One person alone cannot physically cause as much damage as words or speech can. In the
show for example, Mr. Gideon’s career may be damaged for the rest of his life, as the rumor
of his arrest in a drug bust (which turned out not to be accurate) may haunt him and follow
him from job to job.
b. A murderer can kill limited people with a physical weapon, but the words of tyrants have
inspired millions of people to kill scores of innocent people and attempt to create world n
o
domination. On the other hand, the words of inspiring world leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi
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or Martin Luther King, Jr. have inspired millions of people to fight for what they believed was
right, even when unpopular, thereby changing and improving society.
• Chavruta Learning (25 min): Students should pair off into chavrutot (plural for chavruta) to learn
new sources in the Student Workbook demonstrating the true scale of severity with which our
tradition views lashon hara. At this point, students should learn up to and including Section 2.
After 25 min of learning, the students should regroup in order to discuss.
3. Reviewing the sources: (30 min)
• Introduction: The Sources in this part of the unit are divided into 3 sections as follows:
I. Section 1: The Severity of Lashon Hara
II. Section 2: How does Lashon Hara Damage the Speaker
III. Section 3: Lashon Hara is like an Arrow (This part will be addressed in the next lesson)
• Procedure: After students have been given ample time to learn through the sources with a
chavruta,, the teacher should review the sources with the entire class, calling upon students to
offer their answers to the questions they completed in their Student Workbook. The teacher
should endeavor to point out the key messages detailed below. This can be done by discussing
each source and question briefly. According to the sources and questions the following key points
should be made:
Part 2:
The Damage of Lashon Hara
Section 1: The Severity of Lashon Hara
1. Jerusalem Talmud, Pe’ah 1:1
There are four transgressions for which one pays in
this world and in the next: idolatry, immoral sexual
relationships, and murder. And lashon hara is equal in
severity to them all.
‫עוֹלם‬
ָ ‫אָדם ָבּ‬
ָ ‫אַר ָבּ ָעה ְדּ ָב ִרים ֶשׁ ֵהן ִנ ְפ ָר ִעין ִמן ָה‬
ְ
‫עוֹלם ַה ָבּא וְ ֵאלּוּ ֵהן‬
ָ ‫ֶמת לוֹ ָל‬
ֶ ‫ַהזֶּה וְ ַה ֶקּ ֶרן ַקיּ‬
‫וּשׁ ִפיכוּת ָדּ ִמים‬
ְ ‫ָרה וְ ִגלּוּי ֲע ָריוֹת‬
ָ ‫בוֹדה ז‬
ָ ‫ֲע‬
‫ֻלּן‬
ָ ‫וְ ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע ְכּ ֶנגֶד כּ‬
Q1 The sins of Murder, Adultery and Idolatry are the 3 sins one should rather give up his life
than transgress. Why do you think lashon hara is considered as severe as all three cardinal
sins combined?
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The three worst sins in Judaism are murder, adultery and idol worship. How do we know? These are
the only sins that if someone points a gun at the head of a Jew and asks him or her to violate the
Torah with this sin or be killed, Jewish law requires the Jew to forfeit his life rather than transgress.
The other 610 commandments should be violated in a similar situation according to Jewish law.
And yet, both the Jerusalem Talmud and the Rambam also bring as part of Jewish law that while a
person who violates these three cardinal sins of Judaism is punished both in this world and the Next
World, a person who violates lashon hara is equal in severity to all three of these sins combined!
This seemingly makes lashon hara the worst sin in the entire Torah!
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2. Talmud, Bava Metzia 59a
…But one who embarrasses another in public has no
share in Olam Haba ( the Afterlife)
‫ֲא ָבל ַה ַמּ ְל ִבּין ֶאת ְפּנֵי ֲח ֵברוֹ ָבּ ַר ִבּים ֵאין לוֹ‬
‫עוֹלם ַה ָבּא‬
ָ ‫ֵח ֶלק ָל‬
3. Talmud, Arachin 15b
Regarding anyone who speaks lashon hara, God says:
“He and I cannot coexist in the same world.” The verse
says, “He who slanders his friend in secret … him I
cannot bear” [Tehillim 101:5]…
‫ ֵאין ֲא ִני‬:‫אָמר ַה ָקּ ָבּ"ה‬
ַ ,‫ָכּל ַה ְמּ ַס ֵפּר ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע‬
‫"מ ָל ְשׁ ִני‬
ְ :‫ֶא ַמר‬
ֱ ‫ ֶשׁנּ‬,‫עוֹלם‬
ָ ‫כוֹלין ָלדוּר ָבּ‬
ִ ְ‫וְ הוּא י‬
‫ אַל ִתּ ְק ֵרי‬,"‫אוּכל‬
ָ ‫א‬ ‫ אֹתוֹ‬... ‫ַב ֵסּ ֶתר ֵר ֵעהוּ‬
."‫אוּכל‬
ַ ‫א‬ ‫"אתּוֹ‬
ִ ‫ ֶא ָלּא‬,‫אוּכל‬
ָ ‫א‬ ‫אֹתוֹ‬
(Discussion on SOURCE 2) While something as serious as murder does not result in a loss in the
murderer’s share in the next world, we see here that embarrassing someone in public (whether through
lashon hara or ona’at devarim)) will result in their share in the next world being lost. This implies that
embarrassing someone in public is worse than murder! Try and discuss why lashon hara is seen as so
severe? (The later sources will expand upon this.)
Q2 What could it mean when it says that Hashem cannot coexist with a person who speaks
lashon hara? Why not?
God cannot co-exist with a speaker of lashon hara. This source shows the damaging effect of
speaking lashon hara on one’s relationship with God so much so that God cannot “live together”
with such a person. It is as though lashon hara is the antithesis of anything Judaism stands for as
it ‘pushes’ God out of one’s life so to speak.
4. Psalms 34:13-14
Which man desires life, who loves days of seeing good?
[If you so desire:] Guard your tongue from evil, and your
lips from speaking deceit.
‫ָמים ִל ְראוֹת‬
ִ ‫ִמי ָה ִאישׁ ֶה ָח ֵפץ ַחיִּ ים א ֵֹהב י‬
.‫ ִמ ַדּ ֵבּר ִמ ְר ָמה‬‫וּשׂ ָפ ֶתי‬
ְ ‫ ֵמ ָרע‬‫שׁוֹנ‬
ְ ‫ ְנצֹר ְל‬.‫טוֹב‬
5. Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, Sefer Shmirat HaLashon, 1:1
The commentaries explain that the phrase “who desires life”
refers to eternal life in the World to Come. And the phrase
“who loves days of seeing good” refers to this world, which
is only a matter of days in comparison to the eternal life.
It seems rather baffling that the verse advises one to avoid this
specific sin of speaking negatively. [Why is life in this world and
the next contingent on the prohibition of lashon hara?] After
all, there are 248 positive commandments and 365 negative
commandments.
Why does the verse stress this particular offense?
‫אָמר‬
ַ ‫ ְדּ ַמה ֶשּׁ‬,‫וּפ ְרשׁוּ ַה ְמּ ָפ ְר ִשׁים‬
ֵ
‫"ה ָח ֵפץ ַחיִּ ים" ַהיְ נוּ ַחיִּ ים‬
ֶ ,‫ַה ָכּתוּב‬
‫ָמים‬
ִ ‫ וְ "א ֵֹהב י‬,‫עוֹלם ַה ָבּא‬
ָ ‫ַה ִנּ ְצ ִחיִּ ים ָבּ‬
‫ ֶשׁהוּא‬,‫עוֹלם ַהזֶּה‬
ָ ‫ִל ְראוֹת טוֹב" ַהיְ נוּ ָבּ‬
.‫ֶצח‬
ַ ‫ַבּי ַחיֵּי ַהנּ‬
ֵ ‫ָמים ְלג‬
ִ ‫ַרק ְבּ ִחינַת י‬
‫ ַמה זֶּה יִ ֵחד ָלנוּ‬:‫אוֹרה יִ ָפּ ֵלא ְמאֹד‬
ָ ‫וְ ִל ְכ‬
?‫ַה ָכּתוּב ִבּ ְפ ָרט ֶשׁ ִנּ ָשּׁ ֵמר ִמן ֶה ָעווֹן ַהזֶּה‬
‫תּוֹרה רמ"ח ֲע ֵשׂה‬
ָ ‫א ִנ ְצ ַטוֵּינוּ ַבּ‬‫ֲה‬
...‫א ַתּ ֲע ֶשׂה‬ ‫וְ שס"ה‬
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Q3. Without looking ahead to the next source, how would you answer the Chofetz Chaim’s
question above? What do you think is so bad about lashon hara that refraining from it was
chosen as the key to good life in this world and the next?
Psalms 34 teaches that one who “wants life and days of seeing good” should guard their tongue
from evil. We related to this in the previous lesson with the story of Reb Alexandry. But why is
guarding from this particular sin the key to a good life in this world and the next as described in
Source 5? In source 6 we see that lashon hara undermines the very fabric of society – it creates
hatred and distrust, it causes fights, and it can cause people to lose their self-esteem or their
livelihood as in the case with Mr. Gideon. The negativity is really endless. Corresponding to the evil
that lashon hara causes, is the goodness that holding back from lashon hara produces.
6. Rabbeinu Yonah of Gerona4, Gates of Repentance 3:222
The damage that can be brought about by gossip-mongering
is incalculable. It brings hatred between people, and
therefore causes them to transgress the prohibition of “Do
not hate your brother in your heart” [[Leviticus 19:16]. The
world continues to exist only based on peace, and one who
peddles gossip causes the world to fall apart.
,‫וְ ֶנזֶק ָה ְר ִכילוּת ָח ַדל ִל ְספֹּר ִכּי ֵאין ִמ ְס ָפּר‬
‫וּמ ְכ ִשׁיל‬
ַ ,‫עוֹלם‬
ָ ‫ִכּי הוּא ַמ ְר ֶבּה ִשׂ ְנאָה ָבּ‬
‫אָדם ַל ֲעבֹר ַעל ַמה ֶשּׁ ָכּתוּב‬
ָ ‫ֶאת ְבּנֵי‬
."‫ ִבּ ְל ָב ֶב‬‫אָחי‬
ִ ‫א ִתּ ְשׂנָא ֶאת‬" ‫תּוֹרה‬
ָ ‫ַבּ‬
‫וּמ ְפּנֵי‬
ִ ‫עוֹלם ַקיָּם ַעל ַה ָשּׁלוֹם‬
ָ ‫וְ ִהנֵּה ָה‬
.‫יה‬
ָ ‫יוֹשׁ ֶב‬
ְ ‫מוֹגים ֶא ֶרץ וְ ָכל‬
ִ ‫ַה ִשּׂ ְנאָה ְנ‬
Q4 How do you think speaking lashon hara affects the speaker herself?
See the next two sources:
7. Genesis 2:7, with Onkelos5 and Rashi6
And God formed man of dust from the ground, and He
blew into his nostrils the soul of life; and man became
a living soul.
Onkelos’s translation: “Man became a living soul” – He
became a speaking soul.
Rashi: “Man became a living soul”– Animal and beast
too were called “living soul” [Genesis 1:24, 30], but this
soul of man is the most alive of them all, for there was
added to this soul the faculties of reasoning and speech
[which animals lack].
‫אָדם ָע ָפר ִמן ָה ֲא ָד ָמה‬
ָ ‫קים ֶאת ָה‬
ִ ‫יצר ה' ֱא‬
ֶ ִ‫וַיּ‬
‫ֶפשׁ‬
ֶ ‫אָדם ְלנ‬
ָ ‫אַפּיו ִנ ְשׁ ַמת ַחיִּ ים וַיְ ִהי ָה‬
ָ ‫וַיִּ ַפּח ְבּ‬
.‫ַחיָּה‬
‫אוּנ ְקלוֹס‬
ְ
:‫רוּח ְמ ַמ ְלּ ָלא‬
ַ ‫אָדם ְל‬
ָ ‫ַהוַת ָבּ‬
ֲ ‫ו‬...
‫ַר ִשּׁ"י‬
‫ֶפשׁ‬
ֶ ‫ֶפשׁ ַחיָּה – אַף ְבּ ֵה ָמה וְ ַחיָּה ִנ ְק ְראוּ נ‬
ֶ ‫ְלנ‬
‫ַסּף‬
ֵ ‫ ֶשׁ ִנּ ְתו‬,‫ֻלּן‬
ָ ‫אָדם ַחיָּה ֶשׁ ְבּכ‬
ָ ‫ זוֹ ֶשׁל‬‫ אַ‬,‫ַחיָּה‬
:‫בּוֹ ֵדּ ָעה וְ ַדבּוּר‬
Answer to Question 4 based on SOURCE 7:
We learn from the creation of mankind that the neshama-soul is called the “speaking soul” according
to the great sage Onkelos. Rashi explains that this ability to speak (communicate ideas and wisdom
verbally) makes us different from any other living being. When we abuse this faculty of speech we
are therefore undermining that which makes us human.
4 Rabbeinu Yonah or Rabbi Yonah ben Abraham Gerondi (1200-1263, Spain) was best known for his ethical work Gates of Repentance.
In Gates of Repentance, Rabbeinu Yonah makes numerous references to the laws of lashon hara.
5 Onkelos is a famous Talmudic-era convert to Judaism (35-120 CE). He is considered the author of Targum Onkelos the Aramaic
translation of the Torah included in many editions of the Torah with commentaries.
6 Rashi or Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki (1040-1105, Troyes, France) was the greatest commentator of the Talmud and Torah.
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Q5 A rabbi once said “You can tell a person by how and what he chooses to say” –
how would you explain this idea using the sources above?
This is so because his soul, his very essence, is expressed through his faculty of speech.
7. Maharal of Prague7, Chidushei Agadot, Arachin 15a
This power of speech in man does not only come from the
physical organs of speech [but rather, it comes from the soul too]
… Therefore, the essence of man is a living being that speaks
[for his power of speech combines his physical and soul aspects]
… Therefore, someone who speaks lashon hara … sins with his
speech, which is his essence. [On the other hand, if he speaks
properly] he perfects his essence.
‫וְ ִאי ֶא ְפ ָשׁר ֶשׁיִּ ְהיֶה ַה ִדּבּוּר ַרק ַעל‬
‫צוּרת‬
ַ ‫ וְ זֶהוּ‬... ‫ַשׁ ִמיִּ ים‬
ְ ‫יְ ֵדי ֵכּ ִלים גּ‬
‫וּל ָכ‬
ְ .‫אָדם ֶשׁהוּא ַחי ְמ ַד ֵבּר‬
ָ ‫ָה‬
‫ ֶשׁ ָח ָטא ַבּ ִדּבּוּר‬... ‫מּוֹציא ֵשׁם ַרע‬
ִ ‫ַה‬
‫ וְ ַעל יָדוֹ‬,‫אָדם‬
ָ ‫צוּרת ָה‬
ַ ‫ֲא ֶשׁר הוּא‬
.‫אָדם ָשׁ ֵלם‬
ָ ‫הוּא‬
Q6 According to Maharal, in what rests the ‘power’ of man’s speech”?
According to the above source, our speech comes from our soul and is an expression of the core
of who we are. With this, we can understand the damage of speaking lashon hara to the speaker
himself as he is sinning with his very essence. This is different from other sins which might be the
result of some external desire or moment of weakness.
The Chofetz Chaim adds that when a person uses a sharp tool in the wrong way he may blunt it
and damage its ability to be used properly. So too with speech, when we use it for harm, we make
the tool of speech impure and when we then come to pray and do positive things with our speech
we have ‘blunted’ the power of the tool.
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7 Maharal or Rabbi Judah ben Betzalel Loew (1520-1609, Prague Czechoslovakia) was known as a great Talmud scholar and
Kabbalist.
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4. You Cannot Take Back Lashon Hara: “The Toothpaste Race”(10 min)
Conclude with the following trigger as an introduction to the final section of the sources which will be
studied in the next lesson. This is a fun way to end the class after the more intense source.
• Procedure for Toothpaste Race:
a. Ask for two volunteers who feel they would like a challenge of speed and skill.
b. At the front of the class, place 2 plastic bowls and 2 small tubes of toothpaste on tables (1 in
front of each of the chosen students).
c. The students are to race each other to see who can be the first one to empty the toothpaste
completely into the bowl.
d. Once the toothpaste tube is empty, the second part of the race, and requiring far more skill,
is for the students to race each other in putting the toothpaste back into the tube where it
came from.
e. This is a fun and messy exercise and will create a fun atmosphere. The students will give up
after a short while (don’t let it run for too long) as it is impossible to return the toothpaste.
• The Message: Sometimes we do things quickly without thinking too much about the consequences
and the result is that we can never take back what we let out. It just spreads and gets messier
as time goes on. This is the case with lashon hara as we saw in the video with Jo and Mr. Gideon.
This lesson we have seen how damaging lashon hara can be. In the next lesson we will see some
final sources that teach us more about how this damage is often impossible to undo.
Assessment Assignment
Students are to design a poster (actual or on computer) teaching some of the negative effects of lashon
hara studied in this lesson. The poster should contain a mix of images and text. If possible the teacher
can display the posters to inspire more sensitivity to negative speech at school.
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Lesson 5
The ‘Arrow’ and Practical Ways to Avoid Lashon Hara
Summary:
This lesson explores the irreparable nature of the damage of lashon hara in depth,
relating sources to the trigger video. The lesson also concludes the unit with an attempt
to articulate practical methods to employ to work on improving our speech.
Detailed Outline
1. Introductory Discussion (10 min):
The teacher can begin by reviewing the message of the “Toothpaste Race” from the previous lesson
and use it to lead into a short discussion on the following question: How does it make you feel when
others speak badly about you?
Some points of discussion can be as follows:
a. If each student remembers the last time someone else’s words really hurt them, they will also
remember that the hurt does not go away so fast or, for some, at all. If someone is hurt physically,
the pain eventually subsides and the wound heals. But the emotional wounds can be far worse and
sometimes never heal. Unlike a physical pain, there is no pill that a person can take to make the
emotional pain disappear.
b. Knowing that a rumor about you is spreading like wild fire is very painful because you feel it is out
of your control. There is nothing you can do to stop it.
c. It is also so painful because you know that when you have heard something negative about someone
else,, it is very hard to forget about it. Each time you see them it might pop into your head. As a
result, when someone spreads something negative about you, you know that now they might look
at you differently and always remember what they heard about you even in years to come and there
is nothing you can do about it.
d. For most actions in the world, there is a way to undo something negative. If someone steals, for
example, he or she can return the lost object (It does not take away the feeling of being robbed,
but at least the person robbed lost nothing in the end). While this is true for most actions, hurtful
words are different as they can never be undone. Even if the person apologizes, once those words
circulate publically they can never be returned - just as in the case of the toothpaste. Mr. Gideon’s
response to Jo’s apologies in the show is a perfect example.
e. Today with YouTube, Facebook, messaging and the like, it is so easy to spread rumors or pictures of
others that may cause embarrassment or hurtfulness. How does it make one feel when someone
posts an embarrassing comment about them? Ask students to consider the ramifications of one click
of a button. With the internet today, everyone has the power of a newspaper journalist, where 1000’s
of people can read their ‘news story’ within seconds of it being ‘released’.
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2. Source Learning: The Tongue is like an Arrow (30 min)
• Procedure:
a. (10 min) Introduce the concept of ‘the pen is mightier . . .”
In the show, Jo recited the famous expression that the “pen is mightier than the sword” i.e.
that the published word can cause more damage and hold more influence than a sword.
Ask the class if they can think of an example of this in history:
Some positive examples are:
1. Writers of words have often inspired the imaginations of thousands or millions to act en
masse. Theodore Hertzl wrote “The Jewish State” and fueled the imagination of a people
in exile for 2000 years to reclaim its national and religious homeland.
2. The words of the Torah, dictated by God and written by Moses, have also inspired millions
of people from different religions for thousands of years.
A negative example is:
The antisemitic writings of the Nazi regime were used as propaganda to convince millions of
people that the Jews were subhuman and worthy of annihilation.
Long before the expression “the pen is mightier than the sword” was coined, Judaism
compared words not to a sword, but, rather, to an arrow. Our lesson will explore why.
b. (10 min) Chavruta Source Learning:
Ask students to take out the Student Workbook for lesson 5 which includes textual sources
of Section Three of Part 2: The Damage of Lashon Hara. Our Lesson 5 is a continuation of
the previous lesson. Students should spend the next 10 minutes learning the sources with
their chavruta and answer the accompanying questions.
c. (10 min) Teacher-Led Review of Sources:
The teacher should review the sources with the entire class. Along with the sources and the
questions, the following key points should be made:
Section 3: Lashon Hara is Like an Arrow
8. Jeremiah 9:7
Their tongue is like a drawn arrow, speaking
deceit…
‫]שׁחוּט[ ְלשׁוֹנָם ִמ ְר ָמה ִד ֵבּר ְבּ ִפיו ָשׁלוֹם‬
ָ ‫וחט‬
ֻ ‫ֵחץ ָשׁ‬
‫אָרבּוֹ‬
ְ ‫ָשֹים‬
ִ ‫וּב ִק ְרבּוֹ י‬
ְ ‫ר ֵעהוּ יְ ַד ֵבּר‬-‫ת‬
ֵ ‫ֶא‬
9. Proverbs 18:21
Death and Life are in the hand of the tongue
...‫לשׁוֹן‬-‫ַד‬
ָ ‫ָמוֶת וְ ַחיִּ ים ְבּי‬
Q8 In the show Jo mentioned “the pen is mightier than the sword”.
An arrow and a sword are both weapons to kill. What can a tongue kill?
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The prophet Jeremiah likens the tongue to an arrow and King Solomon in Proverbs teaches that
death and life are in the hands of the tongue. What is similar about an arrow and a sword? They
are both weapons used to kill. How can a tongue kill? It can kill the person’s reputation through
Fevil rumors (as we saw with Mr. Gideon), their self-esteem through harsh criticism and bullying,
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their faith in themselves through belittling comments, their good name through evil gossiping, their
friendships and relationships with others by causing arguments – the list goes on. How can speech
give life? All the above things can be built through the positive use of speech. We are taught in
the Mishna in Avot that God created the world through speech (Avot5:1). Speech can both create
and destroy.
Q9 What is the reason the prophet chose to refer to lashon hara as an arrow as opposed to a
sword? Can you think of 2 differences between these two weapons?
10.Midrash Tehillim 120:1
So too, this evil person who kills people with his tongue. Just
as an arrow comes without the victim’s knowledge (from far
and as a surprise), so too with lashon hara,, the arrows of the
wicked person come to the victim without his knowledge.
.‫אָדם ַבּ ָלּשׁוֹן‬
ָ ‫הוֹרג ְבּנֵי‬
ֵ ‫וְ ֵכן ָה ָר ָשׁע ַהזֶּה‬...
‫יוֹד ַע בּוֹ ַעד‬
ֵ ‫ְכּ ֵשׁם ֶשׁ ַה ֵחץ ַהזֶּה ֵאינוֹ‬
‫יוֹד ַע‬
ֵ ‫ ָלשׁוֹן ָה ַרע ֵאינוֹ‬‫ ָכּ‬,‫יע ֵא ָליו‬
ַ ‫ֶשׁ ִה ִגּ‬
‫אָדם ָר ָשׁע ָבּ ִאין‬
ָ ‫בּוֹ ַעד ֶשׁ ִח ָצּיו ֶשׁל‬
11. Midrash Tehillim 120:4
The tongue is compared to an arrow (and not a sword or
other), why? Because if one draws his sword to kill someone,
and the victim appeals and pleads mercy from him, the
attacker can change his mind and return his sword to its
place. But once an arrow has been shot, even if the attacker
wishes to take it back, he cannot take it back.
‫ף‬‫ִנ ְמ ַשׁל ַה ָלּשׁוֹן ְל ֵחץ וְ ָל ָמּה? ֶשׁ ִאם יִ ְשׁ‬
‫אָדם ַה ֶח ֶרב ֶשׁ ְבּיָדוֹ ַל ֲהרֹג ֶאת ֲח ֵברוֹ‬
ָ ‫ָה‬
‫ימנּוּ ַר ֲח ִמים‬
ֶ ‫וּמ ַב ֵקּשׁ ֵה‬
ְ ‫הוּא ִמ ְת ַחנֵּן לוֹ‬
‫ַר ִתּיקוֹ‬
ְ ‫וּמ ְחזִ יר ַה ֶח ֶרב ְלנ‬
ַ ‫הוֹרג‬
ֵ ‫ַחם ַה‬
ֵ ‫ִמ ְתנ‬
‫ ֲא ִפלּוּ‬‫ָרה אוֹתוֹ וְ ָה ַל‬
ָ ‫ֲא ָבל ַה ֵחץ ֵכּיוָן ֶשׁיּ‬
‫ְמ ַב ֵקּשׁ ְל ַה ְחזִ יר ֵאינוֹ יָכוֹל ְל ַה ְחזִ יר‬
The Midrash (SOURCE
SOURCE 10 and 11) points out two differences between the use of these weapons and
thus teaches us why the prophet chose an arrow for Lashon Hara:
The first difference (SOURCE 10) is that when someone kills with a sword the victim always knows
that the weapon is coming because the murderer kills the person up close. The victim of an arrow
is different. Someone who shoots an arrow does so from afar and the victim does not see it coming
until it hits him. So too the speaker of the lashon hara spreads the evil gossip from afar, behind the
victims back. The victim has no idea someone has shot the arrow until he finds out one day that
terrible rumors have been spread about him.
The second difference (SOURCE 11) is that if the murderer draws his sword, the victim can appeal
for mercy and the sword bearer can return the sword to its sheath. An arrow, however, once it
is shot cannot be taken back (like a gun). Similarly, once evil words are spoken, they cannot be
withdrawn to avoid hurting someone. Recall the toothpaste race example. One only has to imagine
having said something that really hurt someone and the feeling of wanting to somehow be able
to take it back. In the show, Jo wanted to undo her words which got Mr. Gideon fired, but she
could not. She thought of a variety of options to help - writing a petition, appealing to the school,
writing a new article with the truth. She desperately wanted to fix what she did, but as Mr. Gideon
said, “This isn’t something you can fix.” In the end the only way she could help Mr. Gideon was to
“. . .help me pack”.
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Optional Activity:
If time permits, as a concluding activity to this section, the teacher may again screen the
final scene of the Facts of Life episode (the last 5 minutes), as it is very powerful and will
solidify the message, bringing the learning and the show together in full circle.
An additional concluding message can be made by sharing the famous story of the pillow feathers:
Pillow Feathers
A person spoke lashon hara and wanted to fix what he had done. The rabbi he had turned to
for advice told him to take a pillow and scatter the feathers in the street. The man did as he was
instructed and returned to the rabbi a little puzzled as to how this could help. The rabbi then told
the man to go and collect all the feathers. The man could not understand the rabbi. Of course he
could not retrieve all the scattered feathers. The wind would have taken them all over the city by
now. The rabbi explained that the same is true of the lashon hara that is spread, it flies far and wide
in every direction and it is impossible to retrieve. All the man can do is to try his best never to do
this again and if possible ask for forgiveness from the person he hurt.
3. Apple Nibble Theory (10 min):
To conclude this part of the lesson, the teacher may use this powerful visual activity:
• Procedure:
a. Teacher should take an apple in hand and speak lashon hara about it to the class and to the
apple. Some examples to use are: “This apple was picked way too early” or “This apple is so
mushy” or “You are so sour.”
b. After each insult, take a small bite out of the apple.
c. Hand out 2-3 apples to the students and instruct them to insult the apples and take a bite
before passing it on to the next person.
d. After a few minutes, the teacher should point out the following message:
When we speak badly about others, we take a “bite” out of them. Often we do this in order
to fill some void in ourselves. This was the case with Jo who just wanted to get back at Mr.
Gideon. She felt inadequate, and used lashon hara, taking a bite from Mr. Gideon, thinking it
would fill that void and make her feel better. We can never return that bite. Even if we tried
the apple would not be the same. In addition, after a while the apple starts to go brown, so
too, the bites we take from people also cause them to suffer long after the bite is taken. We
must be so careful with how we speak or write as “Death and Life are in the control of the
Tongue.”
At this point the lesson shifts attention to practical ways in improving how we speak.
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4. Using Language in Our Daily Lives – How Can We Improve It? (15 min)
• (10min) Brainstorm: Guarding against lashon hara – What can I do to help?
The teacher now leads a brainstorm activity on the board, where students can try and come
up with different practical ideas of how to improve their speech and guard themselves from
engaging in lashon hara.
The teacher can use the following questions as triggers for this discussion while writing down
good suggestions on the board in the brainstorm for the students to copy down in their Student
Workbook on the “Practical Ideas to Improve Our Speech” diagram. See diagram below.
a. What can you do if you hear your friends and classmates speaking or about to speak badly
about someone?
1. Change the subject
2. Encourage them to not talk about other people
3. Wait until the lashon hara speaker leaves and then explain to the group how the situation
can be viewed from a positive angle.
4. If you can’t influence the conversation in any way – leave the group.
5. If you can’t leave - at least don’t approve or join the conversation and try not to believe
what you are hearing.
b. What do you do if a friend is talking to you alone and you sense they are about to speak
lashon hara?
1. Kindly ask the friend if there is a real necessity in sharing this information. If so, then ensure
the conversation is within the “permitted” category (see the conditions above and learn
them well).
2. If need be, try and change the subject.
c. What can you do if you find yourself about to speak lashon hara?
1. Have a lashon hara ‘Guardian friend’: this is a friend with whom you have a prior agreement
with to help each other point out when either of you are about to speak lashon hara. You
can have a code to use when either of you is about to say something negative.
2. Remind yourself of one of the many sources we studied that liken lashon hara to an
arrow.
3. Think of the apple nibble theory.
4. Think of the toothpaste tube.
d. What if a parent or sibling speaks lashon hara at the dinner table?
You should politely try and change the subject.
Some Other Scenarios:
1. What if you are on Facebook and someone has posted a negative comment about another
person?
2. What if you are in a group of friends and one friend is belittling the other?
3. What if you are working on a school committee or club and in the meetings there is lashon n
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Note: All of these cases are difficult to deal with when in the situation, but it is still incumbent upon us
to try our best to improve our speech and not just let these situations arise without prior thought as to
what is the right thing to do.
• (5 min) Final Commitment:
After going through a number of these difficult scenario questions and writing some suggestions
on the board, the teacher can challenge students to put their words into action. If the students
now truly understand the severity of talking negatively about others, and want to minimize this
sin in their lives, they should discuss a practical plan that can minimize lashon hara in their class.
If students cannot come up with a feasible plan, the teacher may help them with one or more of
the suggestions below, if it is realistically possible to accomplish.
The teacher should stress that, as with all growth, we must take realizable “baby steps” rather
than try to take on too much too soon.
Some suggestions of commitments:
a. One hour once a week (chosen by the class and during school time) all agree that no one in the
class will talk about anyone at all (no exceptions!). If it works for 3 weeks, make it one hour a
day. After another month, expand it to 3 mornings or afternoons a week (in addition to an hour
the rest of the week), etc.
b. Ta’anit Dibbur – 10 minutes a week of no talking at all during that time. This is a healthy way to
build sensitivity to what comes out of our mouth. You cannot speak badly about others if you
are not speaking at all.
c. The teacher should ask students to think of someone each of them hurt with words during the
past year. Within the next week, each student should quietly go over to that individual and then
seriously and sincerely apologize for hurting this person.
d. The teacher should instruct each student to think of someone in the school who hurt them during
the past year, and understand that the person may not even know it or realize it, or may have
forgotten. Some time in the next week, each student should go over to that person privately
and with a loving heart tell him or her how much those words hurt. The hurt student should be
open to a discussion or explanation if the other student wishes to talk about it. This should only
be done if the goal is to create peace and this goal is achievable.
Students should write down whatever they chose to commit to on the bottom of their page in the
Student Workbook.
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Final Assessment:
Some options for a final assessment for this unit include:
1. Make a short TV Commercial for guarding against lashon hara: This should be done using video.
Marks will be awarded for both creativity and content. The commercial should be entertaining
and informative, including as many of the laws and ideas that were studied in class as possible.
2. Make a website: Using Google website maker, Webs or other free and easy to use website
builders, build a website that teaches all about lashon hara. The website can include information,
sources, stories, fictitious example scenarios, pictures, games and other creative additions to
make it interesting and informative.
3. Follow up article: Imagine you are Jo in the video; write a follow-up apology article about what
really happened with Mr. Gideon and use the article to also teach the readers all about the laws
of lashon hara.. In the article, include as many of the laws as possible, the conditions for permitting
lashon hara and why you (as Jo) fell short of meeting these conditions. The article should be
convincing of Mr. Gideon’s innocence and informative about the dangers and damage that lashon
hara can cause.
4. Write a play: The play should include a scenario which teaches as many of the laws and ideas
about lashon hara as possible. The play should be 20 minutes in length and involve a degree of
tension and drama or humor.
This concludes the unit on Lashon Hara.
May we all succeed in fulfilling the verse from Psalms 34
“Guard your tongue from speaking evil
and your lips from deceit”
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Guarding Against Lashon Hara – What Can I Do?
Practical
Ideas To Improve
our Speech
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I Commit to
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