The Butch/Femme Photo Project

Transcription

MONTHLY
INSIDE: Autobiography of an Androgyne,
The FDA’s Blood Ban, Genders Beyond the Binary,
Style Deconstructed, Richie Rich, Love Ball,
& Much More!
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Vol. 3 No. 1
Jan-Feb 15
PHOTO BY WENDY KALI
The
Butch/Femme
Photo Project
Gay Skate with PQ at: Oaks Park Roller Skating Rink
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“I’ve been at a few WBC protests but have never seen anything like this before. The WBC protesters kept trying to stand
their ground but ended up leaving within minutes of their arrival, being followed and chased out by Portland counter
protesters.”
Here we are—our first issue in 2015; it’s the middle of January, the dead of
winter, everything seems a bit sleepy and quiet after the holidays, yet there’s
no dearth of life in our pages or in our community. On Saturday, January 10,
queer folks and their allies showed up en masse and faced those nasty Westboro folks square in the face, standing toe to toe with them outside the Moda
Center. (Westboro was here because the Portland TrailBlazers were the first
NBA team to come out in support of marriage equality.) I’m usually one who
advocates for ignoring those lunatics—I hate that they get press and I am
even loathe to write about them in these pages, but there was something
pretty special about seeing our city chase them off in quick, decisive fashion. Our own Shaley Howard was among the counter-protestors:
“When the handful of WBC protesters arrived they were surrounded
by hundreds of counter-protesters within minutes,” Howard writes. “I’ve
been at a few WBC protests but have never seen anything like this before.
The WBC protesters kept trying to stand their ground but ended up leaving
within minutes of their arrival, being followed and chased out by Portland
counter protesters. And it seemed like people from all walks of life came out
to stand up and defend their Blazers and LGBTQ equality, bearing humor-
ous and loving signs that countered the WBC’s asinine hate and homophobic ones. Signs saying ‘Down with Pants’, ‘Born this Way’, ‘OMG I said Figs
not Fags’ or ‘Make Love Not Signs’. One group held up enormous black signs
that simply said ‘Nothing to See Here’ and they encircled the handful WBC
protesters so no one could see them or their signs.” That’s my Portland.
And, as January marks a new year, it also marks an era of new voices in
our pages—voices culled from the most dynamic in our city. One of the
things we wanted to do is more thoroughly represent some of the more
spiritual and religious among us—and in the spirit of that promise, we’ve
invited Leo Bancroft to contribute a rotating column. In his piece, Bancroft writes, “I began this article in the spirit of protest and lament. In the
midst of loud ‘Christian’ voices proclaiming intolerance, I file my story of
grace. God’s love is wide, not limited by who is in or out, by who is ‘holy’ or
‘worthy.’ God loves me, no matter what. I am not a mistake, or an abomination. We must affirm the worth, the dignity and the beloved-ness of all
people, including, without question, all LGBT people. If you are struggling,
may you find courage to keep trying, and may your hope not fail. There is
a place for you.” Bancroft is one of the most authentic people I know, and
we think “Finding Leo” will move you.
We’re also thrilled to welcome Sossity Chiricuzio, who’s bringing a
wide range of experiences to the table. Chiricuzio’s column will be called
“Embody,” and this month focuses on healthy sexy times. “I want to help
you feel good in your body. That is not only the purpose of this column,
but also the driving force behind every healer I know. Many queer folks,
and anyone else with a body that varies from what is called the norm but
is actually rare, have likely had a very different experience when seeking
healthcare. The best healers are trying to be not only a cure, but an antidote to that sense of betrayal, or shame, or invisibility that can come in a
small room with an authority figure assessing you for wrong-ness.” Doesn’t
that sound like a column you want to dive into every month?
And, as always, we have the writers who’ve been with us from the beginning. Leela Ginelle, aside from her outstanding column, pens a fascinating piece on folks who identify outside the gender binary. Belinda Carroll
chats with an activist from Uganda—now there’s an inspiring page. Shaley
Howard dissects the Butch/Femme Photo Project, and we summarize the
changes at Q Center the best we can. There are columns, there is style, and
we’ve scoured the city for the finest events to help you pass the time. So,
dive in! Soak up the heart and soul of queer Portland. As we’ve said before,
it’s a pleasure and a privilege to tell many of our stories—based on what we
have in print for January, it looks like 2015 is going to be a really good year.
Onward, together.
--Daniel Borgen
A SMATTERING OF WHAT YOU’LL FIND INSIDE:
ON THE COVER
Belinda Carroll chats with a queer from Uganda.......................Page 5
Genders beyond the binary.........................................................Page 6
The Butch/Femme Photo Project..................................................Page 9
PQ’s Twenty Questions! The answers............................................Page 10
Where are we at with Q Center?..................................................Page 12
503.228.3139
Our beautiful new updated calendar.........................................Page 16
proudqueer.com
Good positions for bad backs.....................................................Page 20
Transitioning in church..................................................................Page 22
Photographer Wendy Kali explores identity in The Butch/Femme
Photo Project. In the end, she had 108 images: 36 couples and
The FDA’s blood ban.....................................................................Page 27
70 single butches and femmes. The book contains 103 images.
THE NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE OF PQ MONTHLY
IS RIVENDELL MEDIA, INC.
BRILLIANT MEDIA LLC, DBA EL HISPANIC NEWS & PQ MONTHLY.
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The project includes a diverse group of people (not all identify as
Also: Style Deconstructed, This Ends Badly, Living Out Loud, ID Check, OK So Here’s the Deal,
women) from 14 different US states and a few cities in Canada. Their
The Lady Chronicles, See and Be Seen, Love Ball, Richie Rich, GLAPN, Queer Aperture, and much
ages range from 21 to 71.
more! Don’t see what you’d like to see in our pages? Email Daniel at [email protected].
We’re always accepting pitches and tips.
January/February 2015 • 3
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FEATURE
A CHAT WITH AN ACTIVIST FROM UGANDA
By Belinda Carroll, PQ Monthly
If you know anything about me, you know I get pretty
passionate about human rights, LGBTQ issues, and baby
goats. With all of the heady legal marryin’ that’s been happening, it’s easy to think
that the basic fight is
over, or at least we can
have a mimosa brunch
without it also serving as
a fundraiser. As a person
who lives and breathes
in the LGBTQ community, has an accepting
family and in-laws, and
works as an openly queer
comic, I am largely in a
gay bubble.
This is why when I was
messaged by a gay male
Ugandan who friended
me on Facebook—he
loves comedy and wants
more gay stand-up
comedy in his country, Gay men at a Hookah Cafe in Uganda.
I wanted to know everything about his life. We began to talk regularly and I realized that a lot of us don’t understand the real situation happening in Uganda.
There are an estimated 500,000 people living in Uganda
who are LGBT, and are currently under daily attack by their
own government. For a country with a population of 30.7
Million (about the size of California), this is outrageous.
The crimes against LGBT folks in Uganda are manifest
in the proposed laws that expand the standing law, Section
145, which says in part, “that any ‘unnatural act’ between
two consenting adult men can be punished with up to 7
years in prison.” The proposed bill that would increase
these penalties was nicknamed “Kill the Gays” because it
would make punishments “up to the death penalty for multiple offences”. The bill was passed into law briefly, but was
eventually rescinded. The law is not fully dead; lawmakers
have promised to pass a ‘less harsh’ version of the law, and
it hangs over every LGBT person living in Uganda.
I became aware of the Ugandan situation in 2009, when
Human Rights Watch interviewed a very brave Ugandan by
the name of David Kato, of Sexual Minorities Uganda. The
language of the new law, “would forbid the “promotion of
homosexuality” including publishing information or providing funds, premises for activities, or other resources.
Conviction could result in up to seven years in prison.” That
sounded really familiar to me. Specifically, it was nearly a
verbatim quote from a proposed measure in Oregon from
1992, Measure 9, which read in part: “All governments in
Oregon may not use their monies or properties to promote,
encourage or facilitate homosexuality, pedophilia, sadism
or masochism. All levels of government, including public
education systems, must assist in setting a standard for
Oregon’s youth which recognizes that these behaviors are
abnormal, wrong, unnatural and perverse and they are to
be discouraged and avoided.”
Once I looked into the new law, I found out that the
president of Uganda, Yoweri Museveni, had a very close
advisor that made me remember every excruciating
minute of high school when (the failed) Measure 9 was
being fought in Oregon. Scott Lively, for those who don’t
know, was the second in command of the Oregons Citizen’s Alliance (OCA), a Focus-on-the-Family-type group
and he wrote a charming little book titled, “The Pink
Swastika, Homosexuality and the Nazi Party.” If you’re
thinking, “Boy, I sure hope he uses the S on the cover and
makes it a swastika,” you’re in luck. I’ve seen actual Nazi
pqmonthly.com
propaganda that was more subtle than his book.
For those who haven’t read the tome that Lively wasted
precious natural resources to write, let me sum it up. Do you
have a really racist uncle who drinks a lot? Is he part-holocaust denier and part-closeted homosexual who thinks
by yelling, calling people names,
and making sure
“those people pay
for their sins,” he
can make his own
feelings go away?
Well, it’s just like
that, only Yoweri
Museveni decided
to enact dangerous
laws based on Lively’s rants.
The problems in
Uganda are complicated and widespread—including extreme poverty (the average
Ugandan makes
$510 dollars a year,
according to WHO, and $600 a year according to my interview subject), limited access to education (half of school
age students live 5km from the nearest school and most
people are on foot), skyrocketing HIV rates, and an ongoing conflict with Rwanda. Add that to the fact that according to a 2007 Pew Global Attitudes Project poll, 96% of
Ugandans say they agree with punishing homosexuality,
it makes for a very hostile and dangerous environment for
all LGBT Ugandans.
I don’t mean to get all Lisa Ling on you; because I’m a
comedian, not a serious journalist, but when I began talking
to Baguma Berges Ronnie (he gave PQ permission to use
his full name), a 38 year-old community health trainee,
what started as curiosity on my part developed into a real
concern for him and his people. Baguma is a member of
the Gay Rights Activist Club, an underground resistance
group committed to
reversing these laws
and gaining basic
human rights for all
Ugandans.
Through email,
and Facebook messaging, I spoke
with Baguma over
the course of two
months. Communication was difficult
at times, as for him
things like Internet
access and Skype are
hard to come by and
prohibitively expen- A gay football team. Both photos provided by Baguma.
sive when they exist.
Nevermind the 12-hour time difference that had me chatting at 2AM, 1PM his time. At one point I received a Facebook message that his Yahoo account had been compromised, and we lost contact. Luckily, he fixed it and we got
the interview done. He is risking a lot by even talking to an
American writer, and when we talked about how to send
PQ Monthly to him and his club, I learned a lot about disguising reading material to get by his government.
PQ: I just want to say, I really appreciate your bravery in
talking with me. I know it is very dangerous. You have my
word that I will do all I can from the States. I don’t know
what that will look like beyond the article, but I really would
like to help prevent this very dangerous and deadly law
passing again.
Baguma: Thank you for taking interest!
PQ: What is day to day LGBTQ Life like in Uganda?
Baguma: Well concerning day to day life in Kampala
for LGBTQ people, it is not smooth, as there are many disguised security operatives on the lookout for LGBTQ people
and even the locals mostly don’t want to mingle with gay
people, a thing which makes LGBTQ people choose to have
their discrete places like bars like in Ntinda, one of Kampala’s affluent suburbs.
PQ: You have an organization, called the Gay Rights
Activist Club, what are the goals for the club? What would
you like to see?
Baguma: Concerning goals for the club, GRAC, Gay
Rights Activist Club, we are here to promote the rights
of gays, fight homophobia, create sustainability, and
provide basics like: shelter, food, and medical care for
Ugandans.
PQ: I can imagine that people who aren’t LGBTQ have
a hard time because even if they are accepting they are
required by law to report homosexual activity, right?
Baguma: Yes. One interesting story here: A parent found
her daughter engaged with a fellow girl in sex, a thing which
shocked the parent thus leading her to faint and become
unconsciousness. When asked about the incident, the girl
replied, “Nobody would ever separate me from my girlfriend.” It is reported that the girls who are both 17, are
in secondary school and have been practicing lesbianism
for a long time.
PQ Note: The girls were not jailed but were reportedly
a part of the 22 girls expelled from their secondary school
for lesbianism.
PQ Monthly: Is it hard to find employment as a gay
person in Kampala?
Baguma: I feel it vital to tell you about gay prostitutes
who are mostly found in affluent suburbs of Kampala, and
their clients are mostly whites and Asian executives. Places
for gays to pick up include; Buziga, Ntinda, Wandegeya,
where there are cozy bars.
PQ: So do you feel that gays turn to prostitution because
it’s harder to find a job?
Baguma: Well, most
gays are in prostitution
because of the hard economic situation and high
level of unemployment
here.
PQ: What would
happen to you if you
were caught talking to
an American journalist?
Baguma: Of course
security operatives
would nose in and find
out what information
I was giving out and I’d
probably be nabbed.
PQ: W h a t a re t h e
names for gay in your
primary language?
Baguma: The common slang word is bisiyaga and the
Swahili word is mashoga.
PQ: Any last words for our readers?
Baguma: Last but not least, I would like the people
in the US to back us in our fight for gay rights. But I
would like to extend my appreciation to all US people
for all their unending support and may God bless you all.
PQ: Thank you for your time and courage.
If you’d like to contact Baguma Ronnie directly he can be
reached at: [email protected]
FEATURE
BEYOND THE BINARY: PORTLANDERS TALK
ABOUT IDENTITIES OUTSIDE MALE & FEMALE
By Leela Ginelle, PQ Monthly
only so much of it will resonate. Every time I try to articulate it, it feels like a compromise, or like settling.”
While the last few years have seen momentous strides in
Having a non-binary identity in our culture, Em says,
terms of mainstream transgender visibility and acceptance, can feel like playing “gender dodge ball.”
the stories of non-binary or genderqueer trans* folk have
“I’m constantly thinking, ‘Don’t misgender me!’ ‘Am
remained relatively untold. There is not yet a genderqueer I going to get “Ma’amed”?’ ‘Am I going to get “Sir’d”?’” they
Janet Mock or Laverne Cox telling their story to national say.
television audiences, and educating people about gender
When mistakes of that kind do occur, they can lead
identities beyond female and male.
to another set of racing thoughts, they say. “I’ll wonder,
That doesn’t mean such
‘Do I do something?’ If I don’t do
people don’t populate our comsomething, can I do it later? Can
munities, however. They do,
I text or email?”
often facing misunderstanding
Em says when they
and unintentional offense as
do bring things up, they try to
they live their authentic truths.
keep things simple and direct. “It
We talked to three Portlanders
can be hard to approach interwith non-binary trans identities
actions like that through femabout pronouns, stigmas, activinism, because it’s steeped in
ism and more. This is what they
theory and structure and author
told us:
name-dropping.”
E m Ja m e s o n D o u g l a s :
They recalled one
Em identifies as non-binary,
trip to a restaurant with a queer
although they’re quick to point
friend in which their waiter genout, “Non-binary is not a sexy
dered the two of them as females
word.” Growing up, Em wanted
throughout their meal. On their
to be a tomboy, but “wasn’t
receipt, they left a note that said,
sporty,” and lost hope of having
“Neither of us are ladies. Please
a tough, androgynous presentareconsider gendering your custion, until discovering punk rock
tomers.”
in the 8th grade.
Jose: Jose is a genderAs an adult, they met adults
queer college student, who’s
who identified as queer. “I
comfortable with either male or
thought, ‘This is something you
female pronouns (for the story,
can do. This is something you
we’ll alternate). Jose learned
can be.’ That opened the door,”
about non-binary gender identhey say. “I started hanging out
tities in high school. He rememwith a lot of trans men, and In the genderqueer community there’s lots of room for possibilities, though. Some bers approaching a sympathetic
dated a trans man. That was a people express it through their physical appearance; others articulate it internally. teacher during freshman or
period of ‘all queer, all the time.’” There are as many trans narratives as there are trans people.
sophomore year about the topic.
After some self-exploration,
“I was having trouble placing
Em settled on the term non-binary, as well as “trans mas- myself as male,” she says. “The teacher’s TA brought up and
culine.” “I end up using that term, because it reflects a lot defined spectrum fluidity—the idea that how you express
of the way I’m seen in the world. It’s a useful tool to point your gender identity can exist on a spectrum, rather than
to my experience in the world, and the privileges I have being fixed.” The idea resonated with Jose. “Some days my
moving through life.”
expression is more masculine, other days it’s more femiAs you might have picked up, Em goes by the first person nine,” he says.
plural pronouns “they/them/their.” While common among
“Since then, I applied that idea toward the way I dress
non-binary trans folks, awareness about these identifiers and act,” she says. “My expression can be completely difis not yet widespread, leading to frequent mistakes by out- ferent from moment to moment. The way I feel throughsiders, and discomfort for Em about managing this area.
out the day constantly changes, and that’s reflected in my
“If I don’t tell someone, then I’m uncomfortable about mannerisms, or the way I respond to friends.”
being mis-pronouned,” they say. “But telling someone
Jose was assigned male at birth, and, perhaps because
involves vulnerability and grit. But then this thing hap- trans feminine expression is more stigmatized in our culpens when I tell someone and they continue to mis-pro- ture than trans masculine is, he discussed self-censornoun me and I can feel betrayed. But I remember I cared ing around gender presentation in a way neither Em, nor
and respected enough to invest in the relationship, that it’s Tash (who you’ll meet next) did. Likewise, she asked to be
worth speaking up about it.”
referred to only by a first name.
“It’s worth it if they eventually land on ‘they,’” they say,
“I tend not to get the chance to explore myself as a
laughing, before impersonating someone slipping through female,” Jose said. “It’s something I can’t bring to my
mistakes. “’She,’ I mean ‘he,’ I mean ‘Em.’ It’s worth it if by home, or with those who don’t know me. It’s a part that
the end they land on ‘they.”
feels restricted.”
Em views gender identity as something vast and ineffaHe remembers dressing up for a spirit day in high school
ble, which becomes shaped narrowly by society. “Kids are in a tight dress, leggings and make up. “I passed it off as
fluid around gender,” they say. “But they find out what will drag, but I was really experimenting - exploring how much
get them in trouble, and they choose the path of least resis- femininity I was comfortable with. I chose that day, because
tance. One of the reasons I hesitate talking about my iden- I didn’t want to be affected by other people’s criticisms.”
tity is because it takes so much explaining, and I’m afraid
She enjoyed the experience, and imagines his gender
expression would be different if no prejudices were present. “There’s definitely things I would be wearing if I didn’t
have to face criticisms or harassment,” Jose says.
For now, living at home with her parents, at his program
at school, and her part time job, Jose regulates his gender
expression, hoping to “gossip, and side comments.”
Jose said he doesn’t envision physically transitioning.
“I’m comfortable with the way I am biologically. The main
part I see changing is how I choose to express myself aesthetically—the way I look, which depends on the way I feel.”
“I’d like to see activism on behalf of genderqueer people,”
she says. “I have a general understanding of where discrimination or harassment could occur, but I don’t fully understand the issues around where I could participate.”
Tash Shatz: Tash, who identifies as genderqueer and
trans, remembers being introduced to non-binary gender
identities at the Denver feminist art festival Lady Fest Out
West, where they saw the film “By Hook or By Crook,” which
centered on two trans masculine genderqueer characters.
“It blew my mind,” they say. “It opened ideas for me
about what identities were possible.” Prior to that, the
ideas they had encountered regarding gender were “more
binary,” such as that “trans people all identify as the opposite gender, and are straight.”
Tash thinks this paucity of information about non-binary identities still persists in many places, particularly
among service providers. “The medical community does
not have a lot of room for non-binary identities,” they say.
“In the genderqueer community there’s lots of room for
possibilities, though. Some people express it through their
physical appearance; others articulate it internally. There
are as many trans narratives as there are trans people.”
It was in 2006, when they moved to Portland, that Tash
began identifying outside the binary. “In Portland I met
more genderqueer people,” they say. “The way I learned
about it was less academic and more social—by talking to
people about their identities.”
Today Tash identifies as genderqueer and trans. “Genderqueer, for me, articulates being part of a community,” they
say. “Trans is about acknowledging my having transitioned.
One of the primary ways I articulate my identity is through
my pronouns, which are they and them, or my name.”
Tash describes having been mis-pronouned early in
their transition as “painful,” and says it can still occur. Conversely, though, they say that “when people use pronouns
that reflect my identity, that feels fantastic.”
While Tash bemoans the “expectation that all trans and
genderqueer people are educators, and should be available
at all time to help people understand their identities,” they
say they are called to do education. “Being a person who is
perceived as white and male, I recognize I have privilege,
and want to give back.”
Tash sees the trans and genderqueer movements as
intertwined, and would like to see what they refer to as the
“Non-Profit Industrial Complex” help centralize the needs
of all the vulnerable members of the LGBTQ community,
including people identifying outside the gender binary.
“It’s good that ‘gender expression’ has been included in
anti-discrimination laws,” they say. “I’d like to see us talk
about, ‘Who is targeted for violence?’ and look at characteristics like race, money, and gender expression - more of
that kind of inclusion.”
One immediate change Tash would like to see involves
personal information forms. “I’d like to see us create forms
that a fill in the blank space, so we don’t have to choose
from preset choices,” they say. “I hope to live in a world of
limitless options.”
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FEATURE
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Recovering from repressed trauma and
transitioning were similar experiences, in
that both involved integrating of parts of
myself which had been sealed off. For the
last four years flux has been my normal
state, adjusting to and healing past terrors, and transforming my body and identity. Throughout, it’s felt like an unmapped
voyage, my inner and outer identities shifting and evolving in ways wholly unpredictable. In the beginning, I foresaw only doom.
Transphobia, a word I didn’t even know,
would, I assumed, take from me my friends,
and livelihood, while the memories of
childhood sexual assault, by my prediction,
would haunt and stunt me like a plague.
I’d lived my whole life with an impregnable wall inside me, sealing off the terror
and betrayal I’d endured. Another wall had
been erected by our culture, enforced first
by the bigotry of my family, then by that of
the community at large, and maintained
vigilantly by myself. With each of these breached, I was subsumed with constant dread, confusion and
rage. Little by little, though, my sense of
alienation lessened, while a confidence
arose that I was no longer crippled by
wounds inflicted decades before. Perhaps it’s my nature, but I found this
time engrossing. I was seldom at a loss for
something to write about, and I’ve ended
these years immeasurably happier and
less burdened than I began. Likewise, I’ve
ridden out highs and lows completely independent of my present day life, in a sense,
living vicariously through both my own past
and my inner world. At the start of both the recovery of my
memories and my transition, I had hardly
the time or space to think of anything else.
Sleep vanished, as my mind raced at night,
trying to make sense of my story’s being
rewritten moment to moment.
Now, however, I contend with the converse, a pervasive emptiness, and the understanding that life, today, is nothing but the
moment I presently inhabit. The question,
“What would I do if I wasn’t consumed by
grief, or confronting a legal, medical and
social transition?” has been replaced by,
“What would I like to do?” “What would I like to do?” however,
feels fraught, as confidence, spontaneity,
and curiosity were stamped out fairly thoroughly for me by the twin circumstances
of incest and closeting. What I wanted to
do, I rarely wondered
about. What I did was
hide, protect myself,
and daydream about who I might be if I
wasn’t myself. Some of those dreams still
linger, and sorting out whether I truly desire
to pursue them can feel overwhelming, as
self-deprivation is such a large part of my
history. Waking up and feeling like my identity’s “inbox” is stuffed with new data to be
sorted has been common these past years.
The idea of leaving it unchecked and doing
something else with my brain sounds both
foreign and potentially frightening. What’s
frightening, though, as I’ve told myself as if
repeating a mantra for months and months,
is my past, not my present, where events, if
anything, are a bit dull.
I tend to live the highly examined life,
though. I’ve wondered these past years
why, given the statistics about childhood
sexual assault, so few people write about
it, or seek help in group settings. It can be
painful, but so can living a life haunted by
unresolved trauma. Looking back, I assume
not everyone would see addressing that history as being true to themselves in the way
I did. The same is true for my transition.
Being awake and present for it each day was
important for me, because I knew no experience I was undergoing at this time could
tell me more about myself or the world
around me. The walls within me feel gone, and with
them the unending surpluses of anger, bafflement and despair. “What would life be
like if those things had never happened
to me?”—another oft-employed mantra
of mine—is now a question I’m exploring.
At some level, having been threatened
and violated the way I had, implanted a fear,
a sense of insecurity no amount of self-protection could assuage. Likewise, the violent,
unequivocal rejection of my identity I sustained generated a narrative, which said,
“Everyone is normal but me.”
Asking, “Who am I?” when I was younger,
led very quickly to wondering, “What’s
wrong with me?” and to confronting a
mystery, in the one instance, and what had
become a secret, in the other.
Slowly, who I am has come to encompass
that history, rather than being haunted or
defined by it, so that, “What is my life like,
irregardless of those things that occurred?”
has become my resting state, and all the
divisions I’ve perceived within and around
me have fallen. Getting there only took my
whole life . . . but what else is a lifetime for?
Leela Ginelle is a playwright and journalist living in Portland, OR.
You can write her at [email protected].
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
NEWS
EXPLORING IDENTITY—THE BUTCH/FEMME PHOTO PROJECT
The project includes a diverse group of people (not all identify as women) from 14 different US states and a few cities in Canada. Their ages range from 21 to 71.
By Shaley Howard, PQ Monthly
It’s been a topic of discussion—forever, it seems—within
our community: What is identity? Webster’s definition
seems simple: “the qualities and beliefs that make a particular person or group different from others; who someone
is, the name of a person.” Defining any person’s identity is
clearly more complicated than any dictionary’s overly simplified definition. But finding and defining identity in the
LGBTQ community is even more complicated, especially
since most of what we grow up with is based on a heteronormative view, a view that promotes heterosexuality as
the normal or preferred sexual orientation instead of a one
of many possibilities.
Photographer Wendi Kali struggled with defining her
identity for years. As a woman who wore more masculine
clothing and moved through the world in a more masculine way, she felt like an outsider. But in 2010 she attended
a ‘Butch Voices Conference’ at Portland State University
and felt like she had finally found her home and family.
Admittedly, for a while, she said she resisted the label of
butch but realized, after listening to other butch women
talk about their stories, that not only was she proud to claim
the butch label but there’s a history to that label—a story
that is important to recognize.
Soon after, she started researching the history of the
butch/femme identity. She sought out books such as
Stone Butch Blues, The Persistent Desire; A Femme-Butch
Reader and Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme for her
research. And although she could find written history about
butch and femme identities, finding present day images
was another thing. As a photographer she wanted to see
images of women like her and others who did not necessarily fit into society’s rigid boundaries. So Kali decided to
create The Butch Femme Photo Project, a photo-journalistic journey through the individual and unique identities
of Femme and Butch. And now, after 2½ years of taking
photographs in over 35 cities, she recently celebrated her
book release. PQ Monthly had a chance to talk with her.
PQ: Congratulations Wendi on your book! Were you
pleased with the book release party?
Kali: It went really well! There were about 60-70 people
pqmonthly.com
in attendance and I signed quite a few books that night.
There were also a lot of good conversations that happened.
This project is my heart’s work and has been for the past 2½
years and I am incredibly proud of this project and grateful
to everyone who helped it become a reality.
PQ: How many photos have you taken and how many
places in the world have you be able to go?
Kali: Through the funds I raised with the Kickstarter,
I was only able to travel around the US and a couple of
places in Canada. I would have loved to have traveled the
world for this and was contacted by people in Europe and
India. Unfortunately, time and finances didn’t allow that
to happen this time around. In the end I had 108 images:
36 couples and 70 single butches and femmes. The book
contains 103 images.
PQ: What were the demographics of the butch/femme
women that volunteered to participate?
Kali: The project includes a diverse group of people (not
all identify as women) from 14 different US states and a few
cities in Canada. Their ages range from 21 to 71.
PQ: Have you found any variations in the butch/femme
image in the different cities you’ve visited?
Kali: There were lots of similarities and also lots of differences, yes. But it mostly about how people dressed. It
was my goal in the shoots to photograph people in their
own space and in clothes they chose to wear so they were
most comfortable. I wanted to capture them as them, if
that makes sense. I wanted to capture a moment of their
everyday lives.
PQ: Why is it important to continue using the labels
or definitions of butch/femme through words and photographs?
Kali: Because they are still a part of our world and our
community and they deserve to be seen. So many people
that I spoke with through this project feel like their community just doesn’t see them. Specifically people who identify as femme. It’s important that everyone is seen and
included.
PQ: Given that our community is quite diverse when
it comes to how people choose to identify nowadays, why
do you think it’s specifically important to show the butch/
femme images?
Kali: The butch and femme labels were slowly pushed
out of the community during the feminist movement of the
70’s. The butch/femme dynamic was considered heteronormative and conforming. But the fact is butches and femmes
weren’t trying to play roles. They weren’t trying to conform.
They moved about in the world as themselves, they weren’t
and aren’t playing a role. Butches and femmes have never
really disappeared from our community. Those labels and
the people who claim them are a part of our community
and they should have visibility. There are generations growing up and moving about in the world as themselves, be
that on a more masculine or feminine scale, who may not
be surrounded by a community of people like them, which
could make someone feel very alone in the world.
PQ: Why do you think you found more images from
the 1950’s, 60’s and 70’s than the 80-90’s? And have you
found that from the late 90’s to the present there were more
images? If so why the gap?
Kali: I could be wrong but I believe the issues surrounding the community’s belief that the butch/femme dynamic
was heteronormative was a big reason why the images
started to disappear from the 1980’s on. Personally, I didn’t
find more images from the late 90’s on, no. This was one of
my motivators for doing the project.
PQ: What are some of the things you’ve learned by doing
this project? Has there been anything in particular that has
surprised you?
Kali: One of the biggest things I learned during this
project was how invisible people who identify as femme
feel within our community. The femmes who feel invisible within our community feel that way because they “look
straight” and that that they “weren’t gay enough.” Also
many of the butches that I spoke with talked about people
assuming that they want to be men because they appear as
masculine. But there is so much more to the butch identity that, in its own way, defies the gender binary. On both
sides of the spectrum however, I discovered there are quite
a few that see “butch” or “femme” as their gender. Definitely something that combines masculine and feminine
and everything in between.
I also learned a lot about organizing and travel planning
during this project. Connecting with people quickly so that
I could get a sense of who they were and somehow capture that in their photograph was something I found that
I am completely capable of doing. That was huge for me.
I’ve learned a lot about myself through this project, as well.
PQ: What are your current plans and where do you hope
to go from here?
Kali: Currently, I’m taking a much needed break to just
work and focus on family. I’m also planning a move back
to the East Coast in March. Along the way, I hope to stop at
bookstores and LGBTQI centers to promote the book. At the
moment, there aren’t any future projects on my calendar.
PQ: If someone wants to participate how can they get
involved?
Kali: Well, I’ve already finished with the project and was
signed by an indie publisher here in Portland who published
The Butch/Femme Photo Project book with the images and
quotes that I gathered during the past 2½ years. So, at the
moment, the only way to get involved would be to buy the
book and maybe donate a copy to your local LGBTQI center
library so that others have a chance to find their community within the pages. Within the next year, I›m considering
asking people to send in their photographs and answer the
questions I had the participants answer so that I could begin
a new page on the project›s web site with others who I wasn›t
able to reach during the project. People can “Like” the project›s Facebook page or keep an eye on the project web site
to keep posted about when that will launch.
So far Kali has sold over 150 copies of The Butch Femme
Photo Project. To purchase a copy you can go to St. John’s
Booksellers and Another Read Through, both located in
Portland, Oregon or online at Powell’s Books, Indie Bound,
Barnes & Noble and Amazon.
NEWS
QUEER HISTORY
FEATURE
PQ MONTHLY’S TWENTY QUESTIONS!
Follow PQ on Facebook to find next months 20 questions and participate
1.
Tell us which Acupuncture Clinic
gets to the point the best, in your
humble opinion?
Brooklyn Community Acupuncture
www.brooklyncommunityacupuncture.
com
3205 Southeast 13th Avenue #200, Portland, OR 97202
(503) 233-4341
2. And…who is the sharpest
Acupuncturist you know?
Elizabeth Platt owner of AcuOm
www.acuomacupuncture.com
3257 Southeast Sherman Street, Portland,
OR 97214
(503) 939-2796
3.
Mention our ad in PQ Monthly & we’ll take
$20 off your initial cleaning for regular service!
503-937-1300
mollymaid.com
*Valid for Molly Maid of Central Portland locations only
Which Medical Clinic is the most
Queer friendly?
Fanno Creek Clinic
www.fannocreek.com
2400 Southwest Vermont Street, Portland,
OR 97219
(503) 452-0915
4. Do you have a favorite Primary Care
Physician?
Teri Bunker
www.bridgecitymedical.com
1410 Ne 106th Avenue, Portland, OR
97220 (503) 460-0405
Who do your kids or grandkids think
is the best Pediatrician they have ever
been seen by?
Dr. Jennifer Gibbons
10360 NE Wasco St, Portland, OR 97220
(503) 252-8125
www.canyonmedcenter.com
5.
6.
Which is your favorite Cosmetic
Medical Clinic for smoothing out the
wrinkles and lifting you up?
Center for Dermatology and Laser Surgery
www.centerdermlaser.com
9135 SW Barnes Rd. Suite 875. Portland,
OR 97225 (503) 297-3440
7.
Which Massage Therapist has you
begging for more?
Laurelhurst Massage Therapy
3524 Southeast Stark Street, Portland, OR
97214 (503) 421-5172
www.laurelhurstmassagetherapy.com
8. Who is the best Physical Therapist
you never want to have to see again?
Darla Phillips at Bridgetown PT
www.bridgetownpt.com
1500 Southwest 1st Avenue #150, Portland, OR 97201 (503) 222-1955
9. Naturopathic Physician—who is the
one that keeps you on a natural healthy
path?
Dr. Suzanne Scopes
www.drscopesnaturalhealthcare.com
316 Northeast 28th Avenue, Portland, OR
97232 (503) 230-0812
JANUARY 2015
10. Which is you preferred
Herbarium?
The Herb Shoppe
www.theherbshoppe.net
3327 Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard,
Portland, OR 97214 (503) 234-7801
11.
Most Queer-friendly Pharmacy?
Apex Pharmacy
1215 Northwest 23rd Avenue, Portland,
OR 97210 (503) 525-9094
12.
Who is the Therapist you would
tell your secrets to?
Jaimie Levin-Edwards
www.edwardspsychotherapy.com
1220 Southwest Morrison Street Ste 935,
Portland, OR 97205 (503) 222-0557
13. Which Spa owns your soul?
Common Ground
www.soakandsauna.com
5010 Northeast 33rd Avenue, Portland,
OR 97211 (503) 238-1065
14. Has there been a Life Coach that
has helped you make significant strides
in accomplishments?
Kirk Shepard
www.rootstockcounseling.com
2100 NE Broadway St. Suite #333 Portland
OR 97232 503-498-8102
15.
Who is the Financial Planner that
plans for your retirement?
Kristen Salt
www.ameripriseadvisors.com/kristen.a.salt
600 Northwest Naito Parkway, Portland,
OR 97209 (503) 595-0070
16.
Which is your favorite Bank?
Columbia Bank
www.columbiabank.com
17.
Which is your favorite Credit
Union?
OnPoint Community Credit Union
www.onpointcu.com
18. Is there an Investment Banker
that has helped you make some dreams
come true?
Rosa Espana
Columbia Bank
www.columbiabank.com
11675 Southwest Pacific Highway Tigard,
OR (503) 598-7482
19.
Which Flower Shop makes you
the happiest?
New Seasons
www.newseasonsmarket.com
20.
Is there a Candy Shop or
Chocolatier that makes you go wild?
Moonstruck Chocolate
www.moonstruckchocolate.com
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
Q CENTER UNDERGOES
DYNAMIC CHANGE
By Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
The work to rebuild Q Center is well underway; since the
resignation of former Executive Director Barb McCulloughJones, the majority of Q Center’s Board of Directors, and
the revelation that Q Center was in dire straits financially,
the community has responded in resounding fashion and
new leadership is in place and hard at work, taking swift,
decisive action while working to come up with sustainable,
long-term plans to ensure Q Center’s long life and success.
SMYRC
PQ Monthly has learned Q Center and New Avenues for
Youth are partnering together to better serve LGBTQ youth
by relocating SMYRC, Portland’s Sexuality and Gender
Minority Youth Resource Center. Currently located in NE
Portland, SMYRC will be moving downtown to New Avenues’ Joyce N. Furman building (1220 SW Columbia). This is
another savvy, positive move in righting the big queer ship–
both Q Center and SMYRC are vital community resources,
and they must be preserved. Q’s interim board and advisory committee certainly seem up to the task.
With SMYRC’s current lease coming to an end in early
2015, New Avenues for Youth has made a commitment to
assist in continuity for SMYRC while a community engagement process rolls out with Q Center to determine the
needs and future of SMYRC and Q Center. The relocation reinforces services for LGBTQ youth, many of whom
identify as homeless. “40% of homeless youth identify as
LGBTQ, and 70% of the SMYRC youth identify as homeless; it’s important that we are meeting them where they
are,” says Micheal Weakley, Youth & Young Adult Program
Manager at Q Center. “This new site provides accessibility for youth, and the partnership with New Avenues for
Youth only strengthens the outreach we’re able to provide.”
SMYRC’s new location is currently home to New Avenues’ Artist Mentorship Program (AMP), which uses music
and art to connect with homeless youth. Equipped with
computers, a full service kitchen and office space, the
downtown location offers greater access to public transpqmonthly.com
portation and gives SMYRC’s
youth the opportunity to
connect to New Avenues’
array of services including
counseling, job-training, as
well as participate in AMP. At
this time, SMYRC will remain
a program of Q Center.
“There is considerable
overlap in the populations
SMYRC and New Avenues for
Youth serve, and this partnership creates exciting new
opportunities for our organizations and for youth,” says
New Avenues for Youth’s
Executive Director, Sean
Suib. “By working together
we’ll be able to leverage our
resources, coordinate outreach efforts and better meet
the needs of LGBTQ youth in
our community.” Q Center
plans to organize a “day of
service” to coordinate with
the move–January 19.
“We need the following prior to the move: moving boxes,
tape and plastic bins. Any of these items can be dropped
off at SMYRC by contacting [email protected]. The
day of the move we need people to help move items from
SMYRC and receive items at New Avenues for Youth. Duties
will vary from moving in new items, cleaning and arranging storage as well as cleaning clothing donations. We also
need food and bus gift cards as incentives for our youth
participants. Bus cards can be purchased at http://store.
trimet.org/. Micheal Weakley, Youth and Young Adult Program Manager is the main contact. Please connect with
him if you are interested in volunteering for the day of service: [email protected].”
COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT
“I’ve been asked why I took a board level position with
Q Center. It’s because it’s where my heart was in the beginning. If I just sit here and complain, then take me out of
the equation. I want to be a part of the solution.”–Robert
Gorman, Q Center Interim Board
Know your voice matters: connect directly with the
Interim leadership at Q Center, email them: Leadership@
pdxqcenter.org.
A small but growing group of people have formed the
Community Committee, charged with organizing and facilitating the community engagement process to help determine the needs of the community and Q Center’s role. Initial planning includes a town hall forum in the end of January (date TBD). A basic survey to be available both online
and in paper form is being finalized, and small group discussions have begun, led by and for some of Q Center’s most
affected and/or disenfranchised communities.
These will be a chance to participate in much needed
conversations about multigenerational, community-based
LGBTQ support and services in Portland. Some of the questions that we might ask ourselves and each other in this process: What do we currently do well as a community (in and
across our intersectional communities) in terms of support
SAVE THE DATE!
PQ’S 3rd anniversary party &
El Hispanic News 34th
February 19TH
JOIN US!
5PM - 7PM
Q CENTER page 12
Q CENTER: “BY WORKING TOGETHER WE’LL BE ABLE TO LEVERAGE OUR RESOURCES, COORDINATE
OUTREACH EFFORTS AND BETTER MEET THE NEEDS OF LGBTQ YOUTH IN OUR COMMUNITY.”
Continued from page 11
and services? What’s missing and most needed? How do
we fund what we need? What funding models match our
mission(s), are sustainable, and get the work done? Do we
still need a multigenerational LGBTQ community center
in Portland? If so, how can Q Center be that place? What
can we do to return stewardship of our community center
back to the community?
NEW LEADERSHIP
Additionally, Q Center has announced some dynamic
changes to their current leadership structure, which
includes the return of Karen Petersen:
“Two co-chairs have been elected to the Interim Board
of Directors: Antoinette Edwards and Karen Petersen.
Antoinette is the founder of PFLAG Portland Black Chapter, whose life’s work centers on healing community violence and trauma in communities of color. She is committed to helping right some wrongs, assist with community
healing, and chart the course forward. “I believe in and am
inspired by Q Center’s mission, vision, and values,” says
Antoinette. “I value the power of relationships and the
importance of pursuing, developing, and nurturing even
beyond the difficult times.”
Karen returns to Q Center in an extraordinary role, fulfilling co-chair duties on the Interim Board, while volunteering her time in day-to-day operations on site at Q
Center. Karen brings 13 years of experience in fundraising and nonprofit management, a master’s degree in nonprofit management and fundraising, and a long history of
involvement as a straight ally in LGBTQ issues. “I’m deeply,
personally invested in seeing Q Center succeed. It’s a new
day, a new time, and a new year at Q Center, and it’s an irreplaceable asset for all of us who count ourselves as part of
the LGBTQ community.”
Also joining the interim board of directors is Jose Rivas.
Jose is the Events Director for the Portland Business Alliance and a long time community advocate. He has served
as Festival Chair of Latino Pride, worked in Membership
and Outreach for Human Rights Campaign, and serves on
the Board of Directors at Our House of Portland. Everything
Jose touches turns to gold.
PQ Monthly encourages you, our community, to get
involved—sustaining Q Center and all its important programs will take a village. Donate, write leadership, volunteer your time—every contribution matters.
To review previous leadership in place as of December,
2014, post ED-resignation:
Q CENTER INTERIM BOARD
Stephanie Hooper, current Q Center Board Member
and Leora Coleman Fire, current Q Center Board Member
NEW ADDITIONS
Antoinette Edwards, PBPFLAG Board Member; Zan
Gibbs, SMYRC co-founder and former program manager;
Robert Goman, Community volunteer & donor; LeAnn
Locher, Q Center Founder/Former Board Member; Athen
O’Shea, Tranz Guyz PDX Co-facilitator; Portland Trans
March 2014 organizing committee; Lisa Watson, Community volunteer & donor, Cupcake Jones
ADVISORY COMMITTEE
Sam Adams, Q Center Co-Founder; Cyreena Boston
Ashby, Basic Rights Oregon Board Member; Kendall Clawson, first Q Center Executive Director; Jeana Frazzini, Basic
Rights Oregon Executive Director; CM Hall, Basic Rights
Oregon Board Member; John Halseth, Basic Rights Oregon
Board Member; Bob Speltz, Q Center Founder/Former
Board Member; Jackie Yerby, Basic Rights Oregon Board
Member
FINANCES
Additionally, the center is undergoing a thorough financial audit, which was first reported by GoLocalPDX.”I have
full confidence much will be uncovered,” says LeAnn
Locher, Q Center spokeswoman. Basic Rights Oregon came
through with a large infusion of cash to save the center from
dire financial straits: “Basic Rights Oregon’s Board of Directors authorized a $30,000 gift to Q Center to help pay for
employee health care coverage and current payroll. It also
approved an additional $20,000 gift to help on-going operations of the Center, if needed. These resources were funded
out of Basic Rights Oregon’s operating reserve, which the
Basic Rights Oregon board has built over the last decade.”
PQ Monthly will continue to follow all aspects of this
story as they develop.
pqmonthly.com
VOICES
THEATER
FEATURES
TRANSITIONS
This Ends Badly
Outline for Column about
Long-Distance Courtship
By Michael James Schneider, PQ Monthly
Main character: Mike, hopeless romantic, late 30s to early 40s, been in long-term
relationships most of his life. Been insulated
from realities of dating and being single
until two years ago, he calls the phenomena of feeling like a fish out of water the
“Single Gay Time Traveler” effect. He reluctantly downloads a hookup app (that he
charmingly calls a “dating app”). Should it
be Grindr, or Growlr, or Scruff? Let’s make
it Scruff. For a while it’s a secret, he won’t
tell his friends about it. He’s also kind of
judge-y when confronted with “sluttiness”
and explicit pics (a character arc for Mike,
going from a place of almost prudishness to
eventually embracing his sexuality).
Mike’s best friend: her name is Jen or
Ginger, she’s sassy and forthright. He tells
Jen he’s on the app, shows her how it works.
Somehow he also gets in a conversation
with his boss about Scruff, shows it to her,
she’s fascinated. “That one looks familiar,”
she says, brows furrowed.
“Oh, the one less than 250 feet away from
us? Yeah he’s a customer in the store right
now,” Mike replies. His boss is aghast and
delighted.
There should be a part of the story where
it talks about the history of dating apps, the
turning point when the more mainstream
dating websites migrated to apps to respond
to how much people now use their phones.
Also address the whole “proximity” concept;
has that brought communities together, or
has the ease of dehumanizing and blocking people though apps made people more
prone to disconnecting from others?
Mike finds himself on the Global View
one day, where he can browse the profiles
of men from all over the world. A profile
catches his eye; it’s of a guy younger than
Mike, maybe 24? No, that’s too young. 29?
Yes. They start chatting, complimenting
each other’s profiles and photos. The guy’s
name should be Clark, or Blake, or Parker,
something not typical, maybe a little dorky.
Ok, Clark. So Clark asks for Mike’s number,
they start texting. Clark lives in St. Louis.
Over the next week, they text a lot. Mike
asks Clark on a Skype date. Clark doesn’t
have Skype; they set a day and time to FaceTime. They FaceTime; it’s great. They tell stories about their families, talk about foods
they love, give walking tours of their respective apartments, and introduce their pets to
each other. Mike has a cat, Ned. Should Clark
have a dog? Yes. Its name is Dog, and Mike
makes fun of this name. Do Mike and Clark
decide to do shots on the call? Yes, they share
a shot together; they both have bourbon in
the house. The date lasts two hours.
Hmm. Clark shouldn’t live quite so
far. How about Denver? OK, Clark lives in
Denver. So they plan another date. This time
it’s late afternoon, on a
day they both have off. During the first call,
they shared what their favorite drink was,
and Clark’s favorite drink is a Moscow Mule,
which Mike has never had. Before their call,
Mike sets out the cut lime, the Vodka, the
ginger beer. When they get on the call, Mike
tell Clark to “make him a drink” over the
video call. Clark makes fun of the mason
jar Mike’s making it in, “That’s Portland as
fuck,” he laughs. In Denver, Clark tries to tell
him how to make a Moscow Mule, as Mike
pours the ingredients for himself in Portland. Mike tastes the drink: it’s terrible, but
Clark is thoroughly charmed. After the call
is over, Clark looks at flights to Portland.
On the third date, it’s Clark’s turn. He
tells Mike the exact time of the video call.
Right as they get on the call, Mike’s buzzer
for his building rings. Clark just smiles. Mike
opens his door: it’s a delivery service, with
an order of Italian food (Mike’s favorite)
and a Blu-Ray. What should the movie be?
A classic, like Hitchcock’s Notorious? Say
Anything? No, it’s an odd choice, it’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and after
they eat dinner together on the video call,
they both watch the movie simultaneously
in their respective cities, and text each other
as they watch. Mike is smitten.
On the next call, Mike not-so-subtly
extolls Portland’s attractions, and eventually invites Clark to visit for a long weekend.
They talk about expectations, “If there’s not
chemistry, then you can crash on my couch,
and if there is...”, Mike stops, blushes. Clark
agrees to come, says he’ll look at flights and
get back to Mike, they get off the call and
neither can sleep that night.
Mike finally tells Jen about Clark, shows
her pictures, tells her about the dates. Jen is
charmed, but pragmatic. She’s protective of
her friend, she’s seen him get hopeful and
then hurt before. She asks if either is relocatable (both are), she asks how often they would
see each other (probably a couple times a
month, alternating cities, or meeting in a
“neutral” city they would both like to explore).
Something is wrong, though. Clark’s
communication pattern is changing, he’s
not texting anymore, and when he does,
it’s monosyllabic and cold. Mike seeks out
Clark on Scruff, and tries to engage him
there in some flirty conversation. Clark
blocks him. Mike texts him the next day,
and Clark replies a day later. “Sorry. Started
seeing someone. Good luck.”
Wrap up post by bringing back earlier point
about how apps have made it easier to disconnect with each other. How meeting
electronically has made it effortless to be
rude to one another. How when there are
no consequences to bad behavior, there’s
no incentive for nuance and nobility. End
piece with affirmation of Mike’s optimism
for meeting someone great.
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Michael James Schneider is a writer, designer, and artist based in Portland, OR.
He writes for his wildly unpopular and poorly-named blog, BLCKSMTHdesign.com.
pqmonthly.com
FEATURE
“AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN ANDROGYNE”
QUEER AMERICA CIRCA 1900
LGBTQ history in America, pre-Stonewall, can be shadowy. A few famous names are well-known, but the rhythms
of life for those who comprised the active community, a
community legally barred from existing, are little known.
Given this, one might think a memoir like Ralph Werther’s
“Autobiography of an Androgyne” would be a topic of endless discussion among those interested in queer, trans
and gay studies, but it’s not so. Despite a fine reissue by
Rutgers University Press, with a masterly introduction by
Scott Herring, the text remains nearly
as obscure today as when it was first
published in 1918.
Some of this may have to do with
the book’s inelegant combining of
genres, which include scientific case
study, personal history, and first person
erotica. Werther (which was a pen
name), was well-versed in the recently
founded field of sexology, and quotes
its foundational texts, most specifically
Richard von Krafft-Ebing’s “Psychopathia Sexualis,” throughout his book.
Sexologists like Krafft-Ebing were
actively attempting to categorize what
was considered then deviant or “pathological” sexual behavior, including
homosexuality, in their work. Werther
specifically addresses his book to medical and legal professionals, employing their language, in an effort to promote understanding and acceptance
for those like himself.
Werther labels himself an “invert,” a
term then popular with sexologists, for describing homosexuals who displayed traits associated with the opposite gender. Reading his story, it’s hard not to conclude
Werther would today identify as a transgender woman. He
refers to himself as female throughout the book, and several times uses variations on the term, “female consigned
to a male’s body.”
He, likewise, expresses a constant, then-forbidden desire
to wear women’s clothes, recalls a traumatic experience of
puberty during which he felt suicidal, and experiences persistent bodily dysphoria, refusing to ever involve his genitals in his seemingly unending sexual encounters.
It can be difficult to read Werther employ language
meant to pathologize LGBTQ people in his self-descriptions. As is so often the case, femininity is degraded at every
turn. Werther attributes everything he sees as weak or frivolous about himself to his “inversion.” He also seems to roll
his desire to play the part of an infant during sexual encounters into a theory that all homosexuals are immature.
Wether had very little to work with, however, in constructing his self-definition. He describes himself as a university student, seeking any information he could find
about his identity. Because of the cultural taboo against
gender and sexual minorities, he found only works like
Krafft-Ebing’s. He, himself, would be expelled from the
university when a doctor he confided in about his activities (throughout his early life he sought a “cure”), informed
officials there. When, upon leaving, he asked a professor
for a recommendation, he was told he should expect none,
as he was now “an outcast from society.”
A large portion of the book is devoted to what Werther
terms his “active career as a Faerie.” While repetitive, and,
at times, somewhat horrific, these portions are fascinating
historically. In great detail, Werther describes his experiences in working class New York City neighborhoods, and
on various military bases, searching for mates and sexual
partners.
Werther created a persona, “Jennie June,” for these
excursions, which took place once a week, as he maintained what he called a “double life.” He recreates dialogues
he had during both successful and unsuccessful seductions. In them, he invariably praises his paramour’s manliness and virility, while referring to himself as “a baby girl.”
A drinking game involving the times Werther was beaten,
robbed, blackmailed or handed over to the police during
these encounters, would, sadly, likely result in alcohol poisoning. Reading these accounts, it can
be difficult to tell whether life was universally precarious for LGBTQ people
during this time, or whether bad judgment on Werther’s account contributed
to his travails.
Indeed, the unprocessed nature
of these experiences diminishes the
book’s power. From his descriptions of
his childhood, we see how the shame at
being rejected by his family and peers
impacts Werther, a pattern repeated
at his college. In the sections involving his courtships and seductions, it’s
as though we’re watching this internalized negativity acted out, perhaps
unbeknownst to him.
It took Werther ten years to find
a publisher for his “Autobiography,”
which he hoped would ignite widespread sympathy and understanding
for people like himself. Reading it now
can feel humbling, as one winces at the
out-of-date terms, and problematic
arguments. How will what we say now look to our queer
descendants in 2114?
Werther called his forays into the neighborhoods and
bases he frequented, evenings of “female impersonation,”
despite the fact that, because of societal repression, such
impersonation was limited to voice and mannerisms. Even
these impersonations, such as they were, left him beaten
nearly to death on several occasions.
A century later, there is more safety and space for people
like Werther, like us, than there were before, but universal
safety and respect, for which the author pleas on more than
one occasion in his book, are things we’re all still seeking.
Always have supported LGBT rights, Always will.
pqmonthly.com
VOICES
HOLIDAY
LIVING OUT LOUD
The Path of Most
Resistance
By Kathryn Martini, PQ Monthly
This New Year I’ve been thinking a
lot about life paths: what they are, what
they mean and how to find them. One will
hear a remark, “Oh, he just went down
the wrong path,” or “She left behind a
path of destruction,” or “I’m finding my
own path,” in regards to where someone’s life is going or has been. What qualifies as the “right” path is wholly subjective. Paths are a tangible symbol of order—a
paved area that leads somewhere to something—a job, relationship, degree, retirement, or a goal of some kind. I imagine a
path as a meandering cleared area inviting me to an unknown destination; we
can have an idea of what is at “the end” of
the path, but often, we change direction
on our way and end up in a very different
place than we once imagined. And isn’t that
what life is about? It would seem some of
the most interesting ones very much are.
Sometimes I feel as though I’ve
lived many lives, and each of those lives
had distinctive qualities that were unlike
the others, with special people, different interests and activities and contrasting perspectives. This may seem strange
to some and very outside of the comfort
zone of many, but I’ve embraced the shifts
of my life as much as possible, despite
struggling a bit at times along the way.
Ten years ago I decided that I was
interested in being with women on an intimate level and because of that, left a practical, normative, and decidedly safe life of a
heterosexual-suburban-stay-at-home-soccer-mom to move into a world I knew nothing of. I transitioned into a new life and
became entrenched in my fresh queer
culture, which opened a lot of doors for
me to new experiences. It’s an interesting
concept—opening doors to new experiences—for once one opens, many more
begin to follow suit and suddenly life
becomes not just more remarkable, but
the brevity of it seems ostensibly less tangible. Things that you wouldn’t have and
couldn’t have imagined believing or doing
suddenly become a part of your new normal
and you can’t imagine going backwards.
For the past two years I’ve been single.
I am single for the first time in my adult
life and I’ve struggled with this transition
and rebelled against it as much as possible. Systems resist change; my system was
set on being with a partner, and although
I tried to make one fit into my schema,
he resisted the
pressure to conform to my way
which forced
me to make
weird decisions based on what I thought
“should be.” For even when we venture off
a path to take a new one, we are still guided
by beacons of light that are societal norms
and old messages that speak to us in the
quiet darkness, whispering and reinforcing
that pressure to find our path and stay on it,
even if that means standing still for a while.
What happens when we lose our
way? Is it really a loss, or just a new adventure? The only thing we can ever count on
in life is that it is always changing and will
one day end; each passing day, the possibility of death becomes more likely, yet
so many choose to remain persistent in
their pursuit of sameness. As a culture,
we have difficulty with those who wander
and flit through life, deeming them irresponsible and reckless instead of embracing their vigor and vim for this short story
that we each get to tell for ourselves.
Last spring I was once again forced
to change direction as what I was pursuing
suddenly became unavailable to me: my
mother became quite ill and I was thrust
into the petrifying territory known as the
“sandwich generation,” caring and making
decisions for not just my own life and the
lives of my children, but for my parent as
well. Nothing can prepare an adult child
for this transition and the change had a
cascading effect on many other areas of
my life, including the educational, employment and life goals I had set for myself. I
abandoned my dream of a career in academia for something more suitable and
stable, making the “responsible” decision
that deviated from what my heart wanted.
Although the new path has yet to
be determined, I’m sure this latest and
unknown adventure will prove to be just
as interesting as some of the others I’ve had
the pleasure of traveling. It will, more than
likely, lead me to an even more exotic place,
one that I wouldn’t have and couldn’t have
imagined before. For one is not meant to
stay on the same path throughout an entire
life: new scenery is important for growth
and learning; new experiences create a rich
and fulfilling life, and falling off or changing paths should not only be accepted, but
encouraged. Find a path, or walk in the
brush—it really doesn’t matter because the
journey is not destined—it’s experienced.
Kathryn Martini is a writer and narrative strategist pursuing a real job
in beautiful Portland, Oregon. She can be reached through
kathrynmartini.com.
pqmonthly.com
GET OUT
1
THURSDAY, JANUARY 15
PQ Monthly Press Party—mix
and mingle with the makers of your
queer newsmagazine.
Rub elbows with a wildly
diverse crowd. (And hit
up Polari afterward.
See: Dance it Out to
the right.) This month’s
shindig is at Vault! As
always, 5pm. (And mark
your calendars—every
third Thursday at rotating venues. Next month:
Portland Center Stage.)
Want more? We’ll give you 5pm-7ishpm,Vault,
everything. Head over to 226 NW 12. Free.
pqmonthly.com and check HOME THEATRE
out our online calendar of S YS T E M P R E S events, submit your own ENTS: DARK NIGHT
events, and peruse photos OF THE SOUL III: an
from your reporters-about- evening of stand-up
town. Also, remember to tragedy. On Thursday,
carefully examine our weekly
January 15, help us
weekend forecast — with the
ring in the new year
latest and greatest events —
with the second installeach Wednesday (sometimes
ment of this season’s
Thursday), online only.
--DANIEL BORGEN magical storytelling
event. Featuring writers, performers, and artists sharing cathartic true stories from the darkest parts of their lives, this experiment in self-evisceration is not to be missed. Watch us flaunt our adult shame,
regret, heartache, and failure with another nonfiction experiment in
autobiographical alchemy. 8pm, Old Town Floyd’s, 118 NW Couch.
Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-the-day language, music, and
elegance. An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys
make the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to
do with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go to
press. What serendipitous fortune! 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.
SUNDAY,
JANUARY 18
T h e s e c o n d a n n u a l NW
Fierce Pageant benefiting
CAP, a 100% charity event.
Open to all of Idaho, Washing to n a nd O re go n p e rformers. Hosted by Ivanaha
Fusionn and Kurtis Hendricks,
with a variety of local performers. Starring RuPaul’s Drag
Race Season 1 and RuPaul’s
Drag Race All-Stars Season 1
phenom Shannel. Watch some
queens compete for a crown
and sash and raise some
money for CAP. Doors at 5pm,
show promptly at 6. Embers,
110 NW Broadway. $15.
GET
OUT!
2
FIRST SUNDAYS
Bridge Club. A slew of stellar deejays
play music on the city’s most treasured
patio. Old Boys Club regularly welcomes
special guests. (On hiatus until spring.)
EVERY SUNDAY
Superstar Divas. Bolivia Carmichaels, Honey Bea Hart, Topaz
Crawford, Isaiah Tillman, and
guest stars perform your favorite pop, Broadway, and country hits. Dance floor opens after
the show. The Drag Queen
Hunger Games are over, and
the shows must go on! Check out the newest and freshest Diva hits. 8pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free!
DANCE
IT OUT
EVERY MONDAY
Family Home Evening. A weekly, post-work lounge
party every Monday night at Vault, featuring DJ Orographic (Bridge Club, Queerlandia) and occasional special
guests (Sappho fills in now
and then). Jens Irish serves
you happy hour all the live
long night. 7pm-11pm,
Vault, 226 NW Twelfth.
MONDAY,
JANUARY 19
The days are shorter, darker,
and colder, but it’s still an
excellent time to get your
active socializing on. Gay
Skate is a joy. Meet queers and mingle with them outside the
bar setting — maybe your dream lover will ask you to hold hands
during couples’ skate. And there are themes now! Themes!
(Check online for the latest—this edition will be particularly
crafty.) Come dressed to impress and wine beautiful prizes,
and look for our publisher, who’s always handing out copies of
PQ. And, you know, you’ll probably get a date. Food drive for
FIRST THURSDAYS
Hip Hop Heaven. Bolivia Carmichaels hosts this hip-hop-heavy
soiree night every Thursday night at CCs. Midnight guest performers and shows. 9pm, CC Slaughters, 219 NW Davis. Free.
FIRST SATURDAYS
Sugar Town. DJ Action Slacks. Keywords:
Soul, polyester. Great place to find the ladies.
9pm, The Spare Room, 4830 NE 42. $5.
SECOND TUESDAYS
Bi Bar—every second
Tuesday at Crush, and
it’s an open, bi-affirming
space for music and mingling. Correction: Bi/Pan/
Fluid/Queer. 8pm, Crush,
1400 SE Morrison.
SECOND FRIDAYS
Slo Jams is a Queer Modern R&B & Neo Soul
Dance Night at Local Lounge. DJ II TRILL (TWERK)
and DJ MEXXX-TAPE lay down everything from
Mary J // Jagged Edge// Keyshia to Badu//Lauryn
Etc. 10pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
SECOND SATURDAYS
Hot Flash: Inferno. (Second and Fourth Saturdays) In
the heart of Portland is where the women are—dancing the
Take Action Inc. 7pm, Oaks Park, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 24
Dungeons & Drag Queens is a stage production where the a
ence gets to experience watching a comedic cast of performers
lizing drag to portray the game of D&D live on stage, with some
erences to nerd and gaming culture thrown in, as well as a lo
LARPing. “Across far
away lands, worlds
that don’t even go
together, a group
of unlikely heroes
will band together
for a singular cause
to save humanity!”
Or something like
that...What happens when you
take one of the most
famous RPGs in the
world and cross it
with comedy camp,
glamour, and heels? You get DUNGEONS AND DRAG QUEE
(EENS…eens…eens…eens). 8pm, Guardian Gam
345 SE Taylor. 21+ only at Critical Sip, Tickets are
SUNDAY, JANUARY 25
From Portland Idol winner CJ Mickens: “Come watch the prem
of the all-new The CJ Mickens Show, featuring an all live ba
and special guest singers who will blow your minds. Come join
at the Funhouse Lounge to hear amazing live music, drink spec
and an amazing intermission called ‘Slaughterhouse’ featuring Ce
Nicole Williams and I. Don’t miss this experience every month, s
ing on January 25th, 2015. I can’t wait to see you!” 8pm, Funho
Lounge, 2432 SE Eleventh.
night away and burning up dance floors the second and f
Saturdays of every month at Trio. Welcoming all wo
queers, and their allies. 6pm-10pm, Trio, 909 E. Burn
Mrs.: The queen of theme welcomes its new hostess,
Anne Pepper! And dynamic DJ duo: Beyondadoubt an
Camino. Costumes, photo booths, all the hits. Lots of la
very queer. 10pm, Mississippi Studios, 3939 N. Mississipp
SECOND SUNDAYS
Beat It at Black Book: A beautiful new queer night all for you a
of the city’s most exciting new(ish) venues. A monthly event celeb
everything from beards and tattoos to butch queens. Mark your c
dars: second Sundays. Hosted by JC Po
killer deejays. 7pm, Black Book, 20 NW
THIRD WEDNESDAYS
Comedy at Crush: Belinda Carroll
and a slew of locals rustle up some
funny. Special guests, and Crush’s
signature cocktail and food menus.
Donations, sliding scale. (Comics
have to eat and drink, too, so give!)
9pm, Crush, 1400 SE Morrison.
THIRD THURSDAYS
Polari. Troll in for buvare. Back-in-theday language, music, and elegance.
An ease-you-into-the-weekend mixer. Bridge Club boys make
the music. Bridge and tunnel patrons have no idea what to do
with us when we pour in. Hint: it’s always the Thursday we go
pqmonthly.com
$6.
audis utirefot of
ENS
mes,
$5!
miere
and,
n us
cials,
elese
startouse
fourth
men,
nside.
, Kajnd Ill
adies,
i. $5.
at one
brating
calenowers,
Third.
MONDAY, JANUARY 26
The return of RuPaul’s Drag Race! Viewing parties at Scandals
and The Rainbow Room, for starters.
11am-12:30pm brunch buffet and Poison Waters & Friends Show.
(Of course the full bar featuring bottomless mimosas will be available at
additional charge!) Tickets via etix.com. Get ‘em, this is sure to sell out!
SUNDAY,
FEBRUARY 15
SATURDAY, JANUARY 31
Ghoulfriend: Lovecraft’s Lesbian Night Sponsored by Fantasy. Fantasy for
Adults Only proudly
sponsors Portland’s newest
Lesbian dance
night at The Love
Craft: GHOULFRIEND! Fantasy is helping this party make fantasies
cum true by providing us with giveaway items like a
strap-on and harness, gift cards, and much more. Resident DJs Sappho and Shachristmas Lamiracle, plus
special guest DJ MISS Q kick off this party. Party Girl
hosts, the hottest female bartenders in town, go-go
dancer LaLa and more, including additional (sex
toy) giveaways. $5 cover. 21+ 9pm-late. Lovecraft:
421 SE Grand. GHOULFRIEND image designed by Michael Horwitz.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 1
Poison Waters & Friends
Sunday Brunch—a show
and “The Bodyguard.” The
return of the Poison Waters &
Friends Sunday Brunch Show and
Film at McMenamins Pubs, Breweries & Historic Hotels Kennedy
School is happening Sunday February 1. 21 years and older, $21
includes brunch, show featuring the cast of Hot Chocolate, giving you
Forever Whitney, and then the film “The Bodyguard.” 10:30am doors,
to press. What serendipitous fortune! 10pm, Vault, 226 NW 12. Free.
THIRD SATURDAYS
Burlescape! Burlesque & boylesque wrapped in a taste of
tease! Zora Phoenix, Isaiah
Esquire, Tod Alan. (And there’s
more than that, kids.) Zora is a
treat and a treasure—and so
are her shows. Try one out! 9pm,
Crush, 1400 SE Morrison. $10.
Gaycation: DJ Charming always welcomes special guests—and here
you’ll find everything lesbian, gay,
and in between. Be early so you
can actually get
a drink. Sweaty
deliciousness, hottest babes. THE party. Yes, boys,
even you can hit on Mr. Charming. We know you
want to. 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $5.
Undergear: Eagle Portland’s monthly underwear,
jock, mankini, etc., fetish party every third Saturday.
Free if you arrive before 9pm or if you use free
clothes check upon entry after. After 9pm arrivals
who do not check clothes must pay $5 entry. Clothes
check and raffle prize provided by Cub Cleaners.
FOURTH FRIDAYS
Twerk. DJs ILL Camino and II Trill. Keywords: bring your twerk. The city’s longest-runpqmonthly.com
Spectrum: Portland’s first visual art
and music exravaganza by, for, and
of Queer and Trans Youth. All ages,
free for youth, $3-$5 suggested
donation for adults 25+, all proceeds will go towards The Oregon
Queer Youth Summit 2015. This is
an anti-oppression space, -isms and cultural appropriation of any kind
will not be tolerated. Haters to the left.Branx, 320 SE Second.
February 12-March 7: “The God Game.” On their 20th wedding
anniversary, Tom and Lisa are surprised by their old friend Matt who
has flown in specifically to see them on this special day. Tom is a
Republican Senator from Virginia, Lisa is a volunteer at a local shelter, and Matt is the campaign manager for the Republican nominee for the upcoming Presidential election. The three of them have
known each other since college and have a long history that has
recently been complicated by the death of Tom’s brother, Jay, who
was also Matt’s lover. After the initial shock wears off of Matt invading their “special day,” he quickly
announces that Tom is the top
Vice Presidential choice for his
candidate. But there’s one little
problem: Tom is agnostic. How
will his personal beliefs affect
his ambitions, and where will he
and Lisa land on this potentially
life altering decision to join the
Republican Presidential ticket?
http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/899211. Shaking the
Tree Theatre and Studio, 823 SE Grant.
ning queer hip hop/R&B party--where artists, deejays, performers come to mix, mingle, and move on the dance floor. Established fun, all night long. 9pm, Local Lounge, 3536 NE MLK. $5.
FOURTH
SATURDAYS
Blow Pony. Two giant floors.
Wide variety of music, plenty
of room for dancing. Rowdy,
crowdy, sweaty betty, the
one tried and true, even after
all these years. 9pm, Rotture/Branx, 315 SE 3. $5.
LAST THURSDAYS
Laid Out, Bridgetown’s newest
gay dance party. Seriously, the
posters read: “gay dance party.”
And oh, how it’s a gay dance
party. Thursdays are a real thing
again. Deejays Gossip Cat and
Pocket Rock-It, with photos by
Eric Sellers. (On hiatus.) 9pm, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison. $3 after 10pm.
LAST SUNDAYS
Sabbathhause Discotheque, gay night is back at Aalto lounge
and it is bigger and more queer than ever before. Featuring some of
the best deejays and performers around and hosted by night hawk
Chanticleer Tru. 8pm, Aalto Lounge, 3356 SE Belmont.
FEATURES
3
TUESDAY,
JANUARY 27:
Friends and Family Night
for kids. Extra, extra! Eat all
about it! On the night of Tuesday, January 27, 50% of the
evening’s sales will go directly to
Cascade AIDS Project’s Camp
KC (Kids Connection, not Camp
Kevin Cook). Simply eat at Zeus
Café, Al’s Den, or Ringlers Annex
on SW Twelfth and the generous
folks at McMenamins will make
the donation. 303 SW Twelfth.
5pm until close. Camp KC is a
fun and safe camp experience
that includes swimming, arts &
crafts, dance classes, nature
hikes, ropes courses, and
many other creative opportunities for kids ages 5 – 15 who are infected with and/
or affected by HIV/AIDS. You’re a do-gooder!
PQ
PICKS
FEBRUARY
6 THROUGH
FEBRUARY 10:
“Matt Shepard is a
Friend of Mine.” An
important part of our history. This film explores the
life and tragic death of Matthew Shepard, the gay student brutally murdered in
Laramie, Wyoming in one of the most notorious hate
crimes in U.S. history. Framed through the personal
lens of friends and family, it’s a story of loss, love, and
courage in the face of unspeakable tragedy. Social
media tags: @MyfriendMatt #RememberMatt. Matt’s
mother, Judy, will be in attendance at a special February 14 screening at 4pm. All shows Feb. 6 – Feb.
10 at 7pm. For more info, connect with Clinton Street
Theater through social media. Clinton Street, 2522SE
Clinton. Their website: http://cstpdx.com/.
SATURDAY,
FEBRUARY 21:
The Love Boat—Our
House’s annual gala!
This gorgeous evening offers the community a very special
guest: Scott Nevins. (If
somehow you have no
idea who we’re referencing here, do yourself a favor and google
him immediately. Posthaste. With a quickness. Do it now.) Please join Our House for The Love
Boat! The evening will include a silent auction, followed by a sensational dinner, first class entertainment, and one of the best live auctions in Portland.
Disco on The Lido Deck , after party immediately following. Tickets on sale now! More event details will
be added soon. For additional information please call
503-736-9276 or email [email protected], or visit ourhouseofportland.org. Watch “The
People’s Couch” in the interim to get your Nevins fix.
VOICES
FEATURES
EMBODY: GOOD POSITIONS FOR BAD BACKS
Photo by J Tyler Huber Photography.
By Sossity Chiricuzio, PQ Monthly
I want to help you feel good in your body.
That is not only the purpose of this column, but also
the driving force behind every healer I know. Many queer
folks, and anyone else with a body that varies from what
is called the norm but is actually rare, have likely had a
very different experience when seeking healthcare. The
best healers are trying to be not only a cure, but an antidote to that sense of betrayal, or shame, or invisibility that
can come in a small room with an authority figure assessing you for wrong-ness.
Similarly, sex is often made out to be dirty, deviant, full of
pitfalls, traps and guilt. While I fully support playing on those
concepts of deviance and dirty during well negotiated and
consensual sex play, I don’t believe that sex is any of those
things. To give and receive pleasure in this quirky bag of water,
nerves, and bones is one of the best gifts we’ve been given.
This space is for that antidote. For that sacred temple
that is both your body, and the journey to being fully in
it. For honest, kind, respectful answers to your questions,
and examples of self-care, and access to information about
health and joy and pleasure. For the ways we can embody
our stories, our truths, and our desires.
Like many adventures, it’s good to start with some
basics. I’ve asked Suzi Levy D.C. of Asha Wellness to give
us the benefit of her many years of experience as both a
massage therapist and a chiropractor.
Let’s start with what a bad back is:
First the disclaimer. This is a long disclaimer, a summary of what would otherwise be a book. For purposes
of simplicity, I am going to be focusing on penetrative
sex; in order to be gender and
identity inclusive, I will refer
to a giver (someone who is
doing the penetrating) and
receiver (someone being
penetrated). Please keep in
mind that the mechanics will
change slightly based on the
tool someone is using to penetrate or depending on which
part of the pelvis is being penetrated. Please use this article
for educational purposes. If
you are having back pain or
need ergonomic advice for
sex, please seek care from a
qualified professional.
A bad back is any issue
that causes back pain, muscle
spasm or other discomfort.
The pain can be anywhere
from the top of your neck to
the bottom of your tailbone.
Often people are referring to a pain they feel right now or
to the fact that their back will feel pain if they engage in
too much activity.
How is this most likely to affect sexual positions?
It is not so much the positions they can’t get into but
the pain that stops them from wanting to participate in the
first place. The few patients who actually admit that pain is
interfering with their sex lives report frustration with having
to choose between a fulfilling sexual experience and living
the next 5 days without a “bad back.”
Why do injuries get exacerbated during sex?
As much as I would love all my patients to be perfectly
aware of their ergonomics at all times, this is a tall order during
sex. What most are aware of is the goal. “Feel good, make
another feel good, contort into an awkward position so that
I can watch while another feels good. Contort even further so
I keep feeling good – need to go a little to the left to get to the
right spot? Sure I can become a pretzel for the next 5 min.”
If you were to go to the gym and do 10 hip extensions
properly and start to fail proper form on the 11th, any good
trainer would say, “OK you’re done. If you keep going you
are going to injure yourself.” But in the moment of sex all
you are hearing both inside and outside of your head is
“more!” And how many more reps do you plan to do? AS
MANY AS IT TAKES! And my back hurts? What’s a back? I
believe that there are only two or three parts of my body
right now and my low back ain’t invited to this party.
Or even if one is aware enough to realize “Ah, my perfect thrusting form has started to falter, I am now recruiting
the incorrect muscles for this
movement. Surely this will
hurt later.” Most of the time
the answer is “so be it.” Unless
you are riding solo, there is at
least one other person who
has a stake in your movements.
What are some good positions for people with bad
backs?
During sex, you are either
in flexion or extension. If you
are a person that feels better
standing than sitting, then
you are going to do better
with extension. If you are
person who feel better sitting
than standing, you are going
to do better with flexion.
If you are a person who is
always having to go between
standing and sitting because
nothing feels good for long then, you guessed it, you are
going to have to be switching up your positions a little
more often.
Anything else you want to leave our readers with?
Hollywood teaches us that sex should be a whirlwind
of spontaneous intensity that can act as a temporary reset
button for all the troubles of your life. But remember, those
Hollywood scenes are scripted. Communicate with your
partner about what makes you feel good and what doesn’t.
It will not only increase your pleasure, it will increase trust
and intimacy.
I look forward to the article you write on how to talk to
your sex partners about pain during sex.
End note: If you have questions you’d like me to answer
or seek out answers for, products you’d like me to review,
people you’d like to hear from, or resources to share, please
get in touch!
Sossity can be reached at [email protected].
PQ Podcasts!
MONTHLY
Mouthy
&
Look out
for:
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STYLE
PERS{ECTOVES
STYLE DECONSTRUCTED: “GRAB THE PREP-H. TRUST. IT WORKS.”
By Eric Sellers and Michael Shaw Talley, PQ Monthly
In a city teeming with fashion, personal expression,
and trend setters, we want to get into the heads of some
of Portland’s stylish LGBTQ icons. To us, style is not made
in magazines, malls, or on television; it’s personal. That is
the reason for this style deconstruction.
Name: Chanticleer Age: 31
Occupation: Musician/Singer/Performance Artist PQ: What age were you when you realized style mattered? Explain: idols, musicians, peers.
CT: Style was always emphasized in my early life. My
mother (a musician herself) was absolutely obsessed with
fashion. She would take us out of school just to go on shopping trips out of town. My brothers and I definitely inherited that part of her. We are all very concerned with aesthetics. In our family everything is curated. Expression is
preached and practiced in form. We had to iron/steam our
clothes every evening in preparation for school the next day.
PQ: Who gives you a style boner today?
CT: I don’t really have to look far these days. Having
chosen the artist’s path, I am constantly surrounded by
really creative and inspiring people. Everyone’s really
thoughtful about their personal style. From clothes, to
decor, to umbrellas, to stationary, to food, the people in
my community are intentional. I appreciate it.
PQ: What is most valued article of clothing you have
purchased? Why?
CT: There is always a huge ebb and flow in my closet.
Having lots of creative friends around often means sharing, borrowing, gifting; I don’t hold on too tightly to anything and yet I am completely and 100% in love with anything that I purchase.
PQ: Do you wear jewels? What accessories are a must
have in your closet?
CT: We had to wear watches as a child. We each got a really
nice Ambuchi-made watch for our 13th birthdays. They
were bought all at once the first time that we lived in Europe
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and gifted to us on that particular birthday. Watches never
really appealed to me though. A really strange thing would
happen, something else that I inherited from my mother.
Watches never keep time on us. Everyone else’s seems to
work fine, but the batteries would always drain quickly and
the time would slow. Nowadays I love to wear a gawky piece
of more costume-y jewelry. I like making my own jewelry out
of un-precious materials. That’s something I picked up from
my friend Aaron who’s pretty clever at such things.
PQ: Smells? Are you all natural? Soaps? Sprays? Discuss.
We wanna know brands!
CT: Smell is an obsession. I grew up with fragrance.
Soaps, oils, cologne, incense, candles—scent is a huge
part of my world, anyone who knows me will attest to that.
I’ve made my own before, and I usually have an array of
designer scents, oils, lotions, tonics, etc. on hand. I never
caught that B. O. trend. Actually, I was so very confused
when I moved to the West coast. Some of my favorite smells
use bergamot, amber, vetiver and other grasses, pepper,
tobacco, leather, vanilla, sandalwood. Right now I’m wearing two scents (at the same time). A spray of L’occitane Eau
De Vetyver and a new scent by Prada. Both have a lot of
those elements that I like. I like to linger in a room.
PQ: The soundtrack of your closet, list 4 songs on your
Style EP? CT: Inbibio Soundsystem, “The Talking Fish,” Sarah
Vaughn, “Jim,” Perfume Genius, “Queen,” Jazmine Sullivan, “Masscara.”
PQ: EAT, DRINK, SCENE. What do you nosh? What’s your
sip? Where are your haunts?
CT: I love dinner parties. I’m a really great cook who happens to also live with two remarkable chefs. You can imagine the goings-on in our kitchen. We like to entertain. A lot.
If I’m stepping out I like the out-of-the-way spots. Tanuki on
Division is a really great spot that I love. It’s right across from
Tub & Tan so you can grab a “soak” if you like afterwards.
I actually like to go to T&T with a big group of friends and
bring champagne and saké. They have a legit outside tub
complete with waterfalls, misters, LED lights. It’s a hoot. I’m
also a happy hour qween. Tasty on Alder has a great one. My
friend Damaris and I also have a secret list of happy hour
hideouts that we’ve been developing for a while.
PQ: Forever young! I wanna be forever young! What do
you slather and slop on to pamper yourself? Give me when,
what, where, when, why.
CT: I love potions. The mistake a lot of people make is
waiting until the wrinkles are there already before getting a
regimen. I’m absolutely obsessed with Thomas Peter Roth
products. They are pure alchemy. I believe the tag-line is
“Clinical Skin Care” and that shit is absolutely true. I use the
anti-aging line on the regular—as well as the resurfacing line.
One of my favorite products is the anti-aging buffing
beads. You absolutely have to own it if you don’t. Instant
softening, fresh, amazing. People will comment on your
skin when you use it. I love it. I also keep a literal brick of
100% pure Shea butter on hand at all times. Some of my friends ask me why all of the products, and
the answer is simple. I wanna look good. I wanna age well.
Gracefully. I want to be a sexy older gent. That starts now
and not later. I’m trying to fucking Dr. Evil cryogenically
freeze myself in time as best as possible.
PQ: You’re going to a party! You stop by the market. What
do you bring?
CT: Something bubbly or something unexpected like
Sour Patch Kids. Maybe some cheese and bread. The latest
issue of Busted. Probably all of the above.
PQ: You’re going on vacation! Where would you go? What
one item is a must bring?
CT: Currently, I’m planning on visiting friends in Puerto
Rico this year. But, I’d love to go to Berlin again. I always take
a tube of Preparation H on a vaca. Not because of hemorrhoids or anything. It’s actually the most effective instant
eye cream for under a hundred bucks. When your face is
falling off, grab the Prep-H. Trust. It works.
PQ: Where are some of your favorite places to shop?
CT: I shop absolutely everywhere. Nothing is off limits,
except maybe Walmart. From The Bins and House of Vintage, to Redlight and the Halloween store. From Urban
Outfitters, Top Shop, and AllSaints (a favorite), to GenX
and Top2Bottom. One of my most recent purchases is a
5x oversized heather grey muscle tee from a truck stop in
between Portland and Seattle.
NIGHTLIFE
FEATURE
STYLE
VOICES
OK, HERE’S THE DEAL …
You Can Do Both: On Media
Responsibility
By Monika MHz, PQ Monthly
I waste a ton of ink each month with
intros, but as Stan Lee always said, “every
comic book is someone’s first,” and, true
believers, I just like helping you settle in
before shit gets real. I really didn’t want to
come back to this topic. It seems my tenure
here at PQ has exclusively meant me discussing mental health to some degree. With
the exception of three editions of OKHTD,
it’s basically been a one note chorus. The
ironic thing, though, is that as soon as I
resolved to not write about the topic again
for some time, I hit the worst case of writer’s block I’ve had in years. I took my second
hiatus of 2014 to recharge, and hope that
upon my return I’d find something fresh I
could write about.
The schtick here at OKHTD is that whatever PQ’s other trans writers are talking
about, whatever the broader “trans internet” is talking about, I probably disagree,
think there’s an unseen discussion to be
had, or I just think someone is flat out
wrong. Not because I am contrarian, but
because I have a different of opinion. It can
be a weird, lonely world being someone
who knows what it’s like to be a teenage
translatina, but now in her 30’s finds herself always on the weird, ignored side of
any issue.
Despite that, when I disagree I do so with
civility and compassion, understanding
that real people can, after thoughtful consideration, as a result of different ideas and
life experiences, disagree. And that’s OK. I
never bought into the crowdsourced fascist
idea of “with us or against us” politics that
draws a line in the sand, “litmus” style, and
demands conformity.
All that being said, it should come as no
surprise to our readers that I’m upset by
and disagree with the coverage around a
17-year-old trans girl who died by suicide
on December 28, 2014. I’m upset because
the coverage, perhaps in an effort to have
a quick turnaround on coverage, perhaps because of grief and sorrow, perhaps
because of sensationalism, the coverage
around the life and subsequent death of
this young girl seems to ignore a lot of previously established rules about the way we
talk about these things.
I was upset by the sensational prosedriven descriptions of the specifics on her
death, the near universal republishing of a
note she left behind after her death as if a
manifesto, and the iconification/martyring
of a young girl who died a tragic death. Initially, I thought that, perhaps, such things
were ignorance driven mistakes. That perhaps, despite the recent publicity around
Robin Williams’ death, people really hadn’t
put much thought in how one reports on
suicide. But according to writers like Arthur
Chu at The Daily Beast, it wasn’t a mis20 • January/February 2015
take, but a calculated choice stating, “they can take
their ‘ethics,’ and
they can go fuck themselves.” And while
I’m totally taking that quote partially out
of context, I want us to remember that said
quote was in an article about suicide. Reminiscent of “climate denial,” when Chu scare
quotes, “copycat suicides,” he and other
writers mock the very real issue of suicide
contagion. Despite their sudden, “suicide
contagion denial,” a long time suicide contagion researcher, Madelyn Gould, a professor of Epidemiology in Psychiatry at Columbia University said, in an interview with the
New York Times that, “suicide contagion is
real, which is why I’m very concerned about
it.” And even the CDC recognizes suicide
contagion as a public health issue.
And Chu isn’t the only one out there
dismissing the idea that for some reason
this particular death should be treated differently in the media. Much of the LGBT
and/or Queer blogosphere leaned into the
idea that the politics are destined to save
more lives than prudent coverage would. By
mocking the idea of contagion, they allow
for the reader to recognize the writers’ perceived relative unlikelihood of a contagion
effect, and compare it to the writer’s vision
for political change as a comparative force.
That, because this is a zero-sum game it’s a
simple math equation like a Vulcan spouting, “the needs of the many outweigh the
needs of the few.” Politics over prudence.
But see, the deal here is that...
You can do both. It’s possible to address
the issues at hand without completely violating thoughtful and cautious coverage of the
death itself and the note this girl left behind.
Several months ago, in a rare, vulnerable moment, I wrote passionately about
my brother’s death by suicide and my own
struggles with crisis depression and suicidal ideation. I didn’t need to describe the
method, or retell any note left behind. It was
tough, don’t get me wrong. I kept having
to detach myself and take breaks writing,
because it was so easy to fall into writing
emotionally without thinking of the impact
of my words. But this is such a serious topic
that deserves measured and thoughtful coverage. Perhaps the issue at hand is, “want”
over, “need.” That these writers may not
need to use these tactics, but it makes their
jobs so much easier and creating emotional
impact (and therefore social change) is so
much easier. But that’s just the point. Creating emotional impact is so much easier.
And to toss up a pre-emptive defense, this
is not “concern trolling,” it’s real concern
for the little sisters I could lose. Though, it
is a fair point that Arthur Chu makes that
Sarah Ditum is not the best messenger, that
her article came across condescending and
inflammatory, and that she is [allegedly] a
OK, HERE IS THE DEAL - CONTINUED TO PAGE 21
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FEATURE
CALENDAR
OK, HERE IS THE DEAL - CONTINUED FROM PAGE 20
shithead. And what may get lost in my words here is I think
most of the points being brought up in the media coverage
of this girl’s death merit real discussion and action.
You can discuss conversion therapy wrecked on this girls
life and caused her pain no person should endure, you can
discuss how parental rejection of LGBT youth is absolutely
an indicator of high risk behavior and major depressive
episodes, you can discuss transmisogyny, you can discuss
the unrealistic beauty standards of our society (and community), you can discuss this ridiculous notion that starting medical intervention as a trans woman at 18 is, “late,”
and you can discuss how much you relate to her story or
how you can project yourself into her circumstance. You
can even advocate and lobby for a Leelah’s Law that could
put an end to conversion therapy for good.
You can do every single one of these things, all without
flippantly ignoring the recommendations on media coverage of deaths by suicide from the American Association
of Suicidology, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Columbia University Department of Psychiatry, International Association for Suicide Prevention Task Force on
Media and Suicide, National Alliance on Mental Illness,
National Institute of Mental Health, New York State Psychiatric Institute, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Suicide Awareness Voices of Education, Suicide Prevention Resource Center, The Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), UCLA School of
Public Health and Community Health Sciences, and the
World Health Organization.
And if you can’t, you’re probably a shitty writer.
If someone you know exhibits warning signs of suicide:
• Do not leave the person alone
• Remove any firearms, alcohol, drugs or sharp objects
that could be used in a suicide attempt
• Call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at
800-273-TALK (8255)
• Take the person to an emergency room or seek help
from a medical or mental health professional
Monika MHz is a queer translatina who makes her way
as a Portland-based House music producer/DJ, activist,
and writer. You can find Monika online at monikamhz.
com and @MonikaMHz.
PQ Monthly is published the 3rd Thursday of every month.
Please contact us for advertising opportunities.
503.228.3139 •PQMONTHLY.COM
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NIGHTLIFE
VOICES
FINDING LEO: TRANSITIONING IN
CHURCH, A SPIRITUAL PERSPECTIVE
By Leo Bancroft, Special for PQ Monthly
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O! Let me speak into the darkness!
Remember with anger and grief the too-many-deaths through suicide and murder! Let
our voices be heard between clanging gongs
of hatred and deafening silences of loss! Let
my story be heard as protest in the midst of
the pain and suffering caused by “Christian”
parents, who try to grind the souls of their
children into a compliant pulp.
Let me speak honestly of transitioning in
church, and my fear of
angering God, losing
community, and a life
of lonely isolation.
But please, let me
also share my story of
hope, grace, community, and love. I need
to offer an alternative
vision of what may be.
At 37, I was the
president of my
church, a Lutheran
from the cradle, with a
lifetime of prayer and
wrangling with God.
But on March 26, 2013,
it felt like an ancient
clock struck the designated time to unlock
the secret … slide …
click… drop… and a
big loud clunk. The pieces fit together. I
finally understood (at first only in the quiet,
when I was alone) that I am trans, male
despite my anatomy. I’m truly one of the
guys, because I am a guy.
Sitting in church on that first Easter
Sunday, five days after this new realization,
I felt the burning of eyes that I imagined were
staring at me, and dreaded the wrath of a
God who I feared would be mad at me. Slinking in late, crying during the service, I felt I
no longer belonged. I had been an outspoken advocate of God’s love for all, regardless
of sexual orientation or gender identity, but
apparently I didn’t think that applied to me.
During the first few months, I felt
increasingly uncomfortable going to church
and feared disapproval. I completed my
term as president, but resigned from council. I just didn’t feel safe or comfortable. I
cut my hair, began wearing a binder to flatten my chest, and people wondered. After
I came out publicly as trans, it still took a
while to be bold enough to wear a packer to
give my pants the appropriate bulge.
Fortunately, I was still on a rotation to
help out with worship, so I had to keep
showing up occasionally. Each time, I survived. It wasn’t too bad. People still cared
about me, and my own shame and fear
seemed less valid. My mom kept encouraging me to go to church. She threatened
to cause a stir if I was made to feel unwelcome and left the church. I wish every LGBT
child had a parent who would, like her and
others I have met, turn into a Mama Bear
in defense of their kid. A parent should not
be the bully of their own child.
That winter, I was asked to share my
story in church; I was given a forum to educate others on my journey and the concepts
of the continuums of gender identity and
sexual orientation. The first time I preached
from the pulpit and shared that I was trans
was a powerful experience. I cried in private
before I spoke, frightened by the vulnerability and exposure. But I was not struck by
lightning, and people still liked me!
In July, 2014, the
church blessed my new
name. In the middle of
the service, I was invited
to the baptismal font in
the center of the sanctuary, with about 14 friends
I brought for support in
terrified anticipation of
people’s response. But
instead of judgment, I
received a blessing. The
congregation prayed
for me, for my new life,
and my new name. The
pastor got choked up
as he marked my forehead with the sign of
the cross and the church
applauded after the
prayer. Relief. The community had embraced
me, and God had claimed me. The church I
had planned to leave has become my home
again. Even the little old ladies now call me
Leo, and the pastors work hard to use correct pronouns.
I began this article in the spirit of protest
and lament. In the midst of loud “Christian”
voices proclaiming intolerance, I file my
story of grace. God’s love is wide, not limited by who is in or out, by who is “holy” or
“worthy.” God loves me, no matter what. I
am not a mistake, or an abomination. We
must affirm the worth, the dignity and the
beloved-ness of all people, including, without question, all LGBT people. If you are
struggling, may you find courage to keep
trying, and may your hope not fail. There
is a place for you.
I lift my voice in opposition to the cultural image of a harmful, hateful church.
This year I am organizing the annual church
service for the entire Portland Metro area,
sponsored by the Portland Metro Chapter of ReconcilingWorks, hosted at my
church. It is a community-wide celebration
of LGBT welcome-ness. It will be inspiring
and encouraging, with a fantastic speaker,
music, and networking over dessert. You
are invited to join us, Sunday, January 18,
6:30 p.m. at St. Andrew Lutheran, 12405 SW
Butner Road, Beaverton, Oregon.
Thank you for hearing my story. I am not
in the business of getting people to church,
so if you never go, I will still raise a glass to
you at my favorite bar, wish you well, and
consider you a blessing.
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ARTS & CULTURE
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BOOKS
NIGHTLIFE
RICHIE RICH: “EVERYTHING’S BEEN DONE, IT’S JUST HOW YOU DO IT”
By Shitney Houston with Daniel Borgen, PQ Monthly
PQ: Hi Richie! This is Shitney Houston. How are you?
RR: I’m good, darling. How are you?
PQ: Good! We’ve been doing the Loveball for a couple
of years now and they’re just a blast. A lot of people come
SOLD
out and it’s just so much fun.
RR: I love it! I’ve heard all about it. So I’m excited.
PQ: So you were born in Jersey and then moved
to San José, right?
RR: Yeah, I was in Jersey till I was about 11 or 12.
And then, yeah, moved to the San José, Bay Area.
And then when I was 16, I started to sneak out of
the house, going to San Francisco and working—
well, not working on purpose. But I would go to the
clubs with my friend’s ID. And this one promoter
was like, “Do you dance?” And I’m like, “Sure!” So I
started dancing on the bar every Wednesday night
and he’d give me like 200 bucks. And that’s where
the whole “Richie Rich” thing came from. This kid
David was dancing on the bar with me. He had
really long hair. He had a really cool androgynous
look. I was wearing kilts at the time and like knee
high Doc Martens. I would wear those gold plated
large necklaces with the dollar signs on them.
PQ: Right, yes!
RR: And anyway, this guy that I danced with, I
remember, he would always ask me what my name
was. And I’m like, “I don’t have one. But they’ve
called me Richie Rich since kindergarten.” And he
like, “Well, that’s your name!” And the next week he
brought tons of these bags of fake toy money, and
he was like, “Just throw these around where ever
you go.” And I would throw it off the bar when I’d
be dancing.
PQ: You’ve been a fashion icon for many years. When
you were younger and in the club scene, what were you
all looking to? What was inspiring you during all of that?
RR: You know, I’ll tell you, I don’t know. It’s something in me,
innate in me, I always wanted to wear—well, I grew up kind
of suburban. I always found myself drawing on my clothes
and tearing them up a little bit and way before my friends
were doing it. And my mom was always getting so mad at me.
PQ: Ha!
RR: Yeah. And later on in life I had this really amazing
art teacher. You know, a lot of people say they have this one
teacher that really struck you in life, and I really did. His
name was Mr. McLaughlin. I’d stay after school and he’d
show me books on like, Warhol and Basquiat. And like the
downtown scene in New York. And I wasn’t exposed to anything like that. When I was younger, my dad worked for
The New York Times. So I knew New York and that’s how I
fell in love with it at a really young age. I remember being
at Macy’s when I was like 3. We would go to all the Broadway shows, which was great. But I didn’t know about the
underground part of it all.
And at that time like Madonna was becoming so, so…
well, you know, MADONNA. So 80s. I love being an 80s
child. I guess 90s, but in my brain it’s more 80s, because I
was in high school. And it was great. So Madonna and like
Bananarama, and all them from Britain brought it all to
the masses more.
PQ: Yes, right.
RR: So I think those are the things I was gravitating
towards, like the Adam Ants and all that. It’s funny, I worked
at Benetton in high school.
PQ: So when you were in New York, you started Heatherette with Traver Rains. How did that all start? I know you
guys met through Susanne Bartsch when you were her
assistant. But how did it get from you guys chatting, then
becoming friends, to this sort of institution?
RICHIE RICH p age 25
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MUSIC
RICHIE RICH: “EVERYTHING’S BEEN
DONE, IT’S JUST HOW YOU DO IT”
Continued from page 24
RR: Well, basically, I was making things
to go out and about. And I was assisting
Suzanne with her parties. Helping her by
day and the parties and clubs at night. She
really taught me a lot. And Michael Alig
too. I’d work during the day with him too
before everything went crazy. So I’d work
with them on everything, the parties, the
budgets, etc. So in a way, it gave me a lot
of knowledge for how to do a fashion show.
PQ: What do you think is interesting in
the fashion world now? Are you seeing anything that is really striking to you?
RR: You know, it’s interesting to me,
I’m meeting with all these industry people
right now, and they ask what’s out there that
inspires me. And that word is a little—well,
anything can inspire you. But actually Zach
and I were talking about this. You know, I
was a club kid back in the 90s. And I never
had a lunch box. This whole thing with platforms and lunchboxes, I got it. But I always
wanted to be the glamor-rama part of club
kids. So instead of platforms, I’d wear Channel heels with boy shorts.
PQ: Yes!
RR: I liked a lot of Helmut Lang at the
time. And the crazy sequin vintage things.
So I kind of think it’s going back to that now.
It’s minimal, but it’s not boring minimal.
Back to a whole Comme des Garçons kind
of vibe. It’s a little whack-a-doodle but it’s
also a bit—well, I guess I’m trying to say it’s
about the art of it all.
I don’t even care if they’re labels. I mean
labels are labels. It’s just funny to me. I
mean, I’ve known Stephanie, you know,
Lady Gaga for a long time. It was interesting to me when she came out and everything and I think it’s great. She’s smart. She
references like everything in pop culture.
But people are like, “That’s so Gaga.” And
I’m like, “Well, you know.” Everything’s been
done. It’s just how you do it.
PQ: What’s important to you to stand
out aesthetically? What do you see specifically that hits you? Is it that street thing
you’re talking about?
RR: Yeah, I mean it really is. It could even
be somebody’s stance. When you see someone even at a bar or club or something. It’s
the way they carry themselves. It’s confidence, but it’s also—I mean, I’ll see someone wearing a sweater or something and
they probably don’t even know how amazing they look. Like when Kurt Cobain wore
that famous green sweater.
PQ: Right!
RR: He probably just got it from the thrift
store, but he brought it to something. It’s
like a movie star quality. It’s that thing. It
just pops out at you. Like look at Pharrell
when he wore that Westwood hat that’s been
around since the 70s. And all of a sudden it’s
like you can’t look at anyone wearing a big
hat without thinking of him. He brought that
crazy forest ranger hat to life. Or like if I just
see some kid on the corner with an oversized
hoodie and cool tights. I love androgyny.
pqmonthly.com
PQ: So our Loveball is a competitive
thing. That kind of ball.
RR: I love it.
PQ: It’s really fun. We do a Portland twist
on it. Sometimes it’s silly categories, but we
still try to push the fashion forwardness of it
all. We all know you really well as a designer
and as a club kid. Were you involved in ball
culture at all? Did you ever walk or anything like that?
RR: Oh, yeah! A lot of my friends came out
of the different houses and stuff. I’ve gone to a
lot of the balls in Harlem. Even way back, way
before Heatherette. So yeah, it’s so inspiring.
My friend Sade Pendavis, she passed away,
but she was doing that Patti LaBelle number
at the end of “Paris Is Burning.”
PQ: Yes. Of course. My favorite. What’s
your take on the club and ball scene now?
I’m sure you’ve seen a lot since the 90s. But
what do you think has changed if anything?
RR: Well, thinking about fashion, and
clubs, and balls, when things get really gentrified, and the economy isn’t so great, or
whatever, that’s when things become even
more amazing. I think now with everything
people are like, “The more, the better.” Like,
don’t shy away. Don’t let it bring down the
mystery and the fun. I think that’s great. And
with like, for example, Rihanna going, some
people might frown upon that thinking
that’s commercial, or whatever. But I think
that’s great. It shows that they’re inspiring
the masses. And you know, like Madonna
pissed a lot of people off too. But at the same
time, it’s like; it may have been a culture
some would not have ever recognized. And
really, I’m just so happy it’s all still around.
And congrats on the Loveball, by the way.
PQ: Oh, God, thank you. It’s been great.
We took it to Vancouver last year, and we’re
going to San Francisco next month. It’s been
a whirlwind.
RR: I love it. I’ll be in San Francisco then.
So I’ll probably see you.
PQ: Yes, you will.
RR: Yeah, my friend Zach and Heather
were talking about it. It sounded so fun.
They asked if I’d come. I was like, “Oh my
God. I’d love to.”
PQ: That’s great. We’re so excited to have
you.
RR: Oh, God, me too. I’m excited. I love
Portland. I haven’t been in a while. But I’m
so excited to come, especially now that I
have so many friends there.
DYKES ON BIKES® & FRIENDS
Come join the Oregon
DYKES ON BIKES®
Portland Chapter!
LoveBall Portland, 2/14/15
Embers Nightclub, 9pm, $10
4 categories TBA
Celebrity guest judge Richie Rich
And celebrity guest judge TBA
LoveBall San Francisco. 2/27/15
Oasis Nightclub, 10p
4 categories TBA
Celebrity guest judges:
Susanne Bartsch, Richie Rich,
Heklina
www.DykesOnBikesPortland.com
Dykes&Allies on Bikes
Please email [email protected]
to get on mailing list
RIDE LOUD &
PROUD WITH US!
FEATURE
GLAPN
PORTLAND LGBTQ COMMUNITY ACTIVIST
WINS HUMAN RIGHTS AWARD
By George T. Nicola,
GLAPN
Portland LGBTQ
act iv ist Cor y L .
Mur phy has been
given the Emily Gottried Human Rights
Emerg i ng L eader
Award from the Portland Human Rights
Commission. Recipients were “selected
based on his/her/their efforts to eliminate
discrimination and bigotry, to strengthen
inter-group relationships, and to foster
greater understanding, inclusion, and justice for those who live, work, study, worship, travel, and play in the City of Portland.”
Cory is Director of Operations for Pride
Northwest, which runs Portland’s annual
Pride events. He serves on the City Club
of Portland Finance Committee and is the
Co-Chair of the Alliance for Safer Communities. Cory is also on the board of GLSEN
Oregon, an organization that “works to
ensure that LGBT students are able to learn
and grow in a school environment free from
bullying and harassment.”
DECEMBER 2014, THE 40TH ANNIVERSARY OF
OREGON’S FIRST SEXUAL ORIENTATION NONDISCRIMINATION GOVERNMENT PROTECTION
By George T. Nicola, GLAPN
December 18, 2014 was the 40th anniversary of the first success Oregonians had
in getting some sexual orientation non-discrimination government protection. The
action was not an ordinance but a resolution passed by the Portland City Council.
It banned discrimination based on sexual
orientation in city employment.
The resolution was sponsored by City
Com m issioner Con n ie McCready. It
passed by a vote of 3-2, with McCready,
Commissioner Charles Jordan, and Mayor
Neil Goldschmidt voting in favor. Jordan,
who had been appointed to the City Council earlier in the year to fill a vacancy,
was the first African American Council
member.
Voting against the resolution were Commissioners Mildred Schwab and Frank Ivancie. Six years later, Portlanders elected Ivancie Mayor.
Details on the resolution can be found
in the article “City bans homosexual bias
from employment policy”, The Oregonian,
12-19-1974.
In 1991, Portland passed an ordinance
banning discrimination based on sexual
orientation or source of income in housing, employment, and public accommodations. Gender identity was added in 2000.
A statewide law banning discrimination
based on sexual orientation and gender
identity was passed in 2007, effective the
following year.
pqmonthly.com
VOICES
FDA STILL WRONGLY DISCRIMINATING
AGAINST GAY AND BISEXUAL MEN
By Tyler TerMeer, Executive Director, Cascade AIDS Project
Recently, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA)
announced the elimination of the outdated lifetime
blood-donation ban of gay and bisexual men, enacting
instead a new rule that excludes
men who have had sex with
men within the past year from
donating blood. The removal of
this lifetime ban marks a long
anticipated and critical step forward, however, this year oneyear deferral period continues
to wrongly discriminate against
gay and bisexual men.
The lifetime blood-donation
ban was established at a time
of crisis, early in an epidemic,
when reported cases were primarily among the gay community. In these early years of the epidemic, blood transfusions were at increased risk for transmission of HIV infection. By the end of 1983, with more than 2,100 AIDS-related
deaths and very little known about the transmission of the
disease, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) released
a policy excluding blood donations from men who have
pqmonthly.com
had sex with other men any time after 1977.
In 1985, however, an HIV test became available, and
screening of blood donations rapidly became universal,
making the US blood supplies among the safest in the
world. Despite this progress, the FDA upheld this inherently discriminatory ban and
has recently announced new
policy that is equally as harmful.
As an openly gay man and
a person living with HIV, I am
personally offended by the
FDA’s new policy that further promotes stigma against
HIV as well as gay and bisexual men in this country. Since
the early years of epidemic, we
have witnessed first-hand how
fear, stigma, and discrimination
have fueled the spread of HIV.
The FDA missed a moment of opportunity in which they
could have created an actual risk-based blood donation
policy that would have taken steps toward eliminating fear
and discrimination. Instead, by implementing this policy,
the FDA will continue to fan the flames of the outdated
stereotype that HIV is only a “gay disease.” The American
Medical Association, the Red Cross, America’s Blood Centers, and the Association of Blood Banks agree that the lifetime ban is not only discriminatory but is also medically
and scientifically unwarranted.
Cascade AIDS Project has long stood with national advocates in recommending that the FDA establish policies that
carefully distinguish between high- and low-risk behavior
based on a modern and medically based understanding of
HIV transmission. As members of the AIDS United Public
Policy Committee, CAP also continues to urge the FDA to
move forward with the implementation of a hemovigilance system to track, report, investigate and analyze risks
and adverse reactions that can occur as a result of blood
transfusion. Such a system would increase the safety of
the blood supply and provide an early warning system for
potential threats. The outdated lifetime ban on gay men donating blood
has not made sense for decades, but the FDA’s recently
updated policy is not the answer. This policy definitely
doesn’t seem to take any consideration for the advancements in blood screening, HIV treatment or of biomedical HIV prevention strategies such as Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). As a community we must call on the FDA
to move to an individualized, comprehensive and effective deferral system for all donors based on actual — not
perceived — risk.
THEATER
TWO NEW SHOWS HIT
THE BOARDS AT PCS
January sees the opening of two exciting new shows at Portland Center Stage. First
up is playwright Christopher Durang’s Tony
winning 2013 hit, “Vanya and Sonia and
Masha and Spike.”
Durang, known for
his absurd, provocative comedies, such
as “Beyond Therapy,”
and “Betty’s Summer
Vacation,” which had
a stellar revival at
defunkt last year, is
said to have crafted
a more relatable,
heartfelt work with this show, which concerns siblings whose unsatisfying lives are
upturned by the appearance of their movie
star sister and her hunky boy toy.
The show, which Chekhov lovers will
likely infer, uses the Russian’s “Uncle Vanya”
as a stepping off point, updates matters
with LGBTQ characters, and references to
themes like climate change. “Vanya” won
Durang his first Best Play Tony, and will run
on PCS’s main stage.
Portland Center Stage’s other big
opening this month is the world premiere of Yussef El Guindi’s “Threesome.”
As the title implies, “Threesome” concerns a couple, Leila
and Rashid, who,
hoping to remedy
their relationship
issues, invite a relative stranger into
their bedroom, leading to all manner of
unforseen emotional
complications.
Helmed by
Chris Coleman, PCS’s artistic director, the
show explores themes of sexism, possession and independence. The show plays in
the Ellen Bye Studio theater, downstairs at
the Armory, suiting its intimate themes. It’s
recommended for audiences over 17, as it
features both female and male nudity, as
well as strong language. Exceptional, personalized,
comprehensive care for
your best friend.
1737 NE Alberta suite 102
Portland, OR 97211
ALBERTAVETCARE.COM
pqmonthly.com
SEE AND
BE SEEN
PHOTOS
We want to see more of you! Do you have photos
you’d like to share in the pages of PQ Monthly? Send
your photos along with a photo credit and caption to
[email protected], post them on our Facebook
page, or tag PQ Monthly in them.
Featured: PQ Monthly Press Party at Scandals, Superstar Divas
Megashow, and Lumbertwink NYE.
Photos by Christopher Alvarez, Official Fans of the Superstar Divas
Megashow (find them on Facebook), and Wayne Bund, respectively.
pqmonthly.com
QUEER APERTURE
Through his Queer Aperture project, photographer Jeffrey Horvitz has spent years documenting the LGBTQ
communities of Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vancouver, B.C. He’s well aware that a picture paints a whole mess
of words, but here he offers a few actual words to better acquaint us with his dynamic subjects.
What is your name?
Mx. Collin McFayden
Favorite book?
“The Half Life,” by Jonathan Raymond
How long have you lived in Portland?
Since 1975
Favorite movie?
“The Devil Wears Prada”
What is the first time you noticed gayness existed?
In 1976, when my Dad came out to me
Favorite word?
Fascination
What would you consider a guilty pleasure?
Pleasure is never guilty when it is earned
Least favorite word?
Stagnation
You’re having a dinner party of 6, who would you
invite?
Dorothy Parker, Tina Fey, Melissa McCarthy, Tallulah
Bankhead, Lucille Ball, and Oscar Wilde
Favorite swear word?
Fuckwad
What would you consider a perfect meal?
Perfectly fresh fish and shrimp tacos with a cold beer on
a tropical beach
What would be a perfect day off?
An extra snuggle with my lady, a long trail run, followed
by brunch and thrift store shopping with my sweetie
What is your profession?
Restaurant Chef
If you could with a snap of a finger what would be
another profession you would like to do?
A Professional time traveler
Whom would you like to meet dead or alive?
Julia Child
PHOTO BY JEFFREY HORVITZ
MONTHLY
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Media would like
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our readers to
thank our
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A heartfelt
thanks from
everyone at
PQ Monthly &
El Hispanic News.
• Alberta Veterinary Center
• Armstrong Volkswagen
• Axa Advisors
• Bad Ass (BAPA)
• Bonneville Hot Springs Resort
• Bridges Cafe and Catering
• Cita con Nelly
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• Copy Pilot
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• Cub Cleaners
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• Dale Schiff
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• Dignified Pets
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• Dwayne Davis, Principal Broker
• Dykes On Bikes®
• Ft. Vancouver Library
• Eyes on Broadway
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• Maloy's Jewelry Workshop
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• Stars Three Antique Malls
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• Sunset Audi
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• The Muttley Crew
• Tim Bias Insurance
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THANK
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The Butch/Femme Photo Project

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