Teen diets lead to health risks

Volume IX, Issue II
Tuna Talk
November, 2007
Upper School Director Lisa Baker chats with a student in the hall.
Photo by Tom Hickey
Upper School Director Lisa Baker
keeps her finger on school‟s pulse
Baker accessible, friendly
toward students
By DAINA MINLEY
A lanky blonde woman
walks into your class and sits
down. She casually begins to
observe, and eventually starts
an assignment that the class is
working on. You are purely
astonished, and maybe a little
scared. Is she a parent? A spy?
A secret infiltrator of student
ranks? Nope. She‘s just your
friendly new Upper School
Director Lisa Baker.
A high school English
teacher turned principal, Baker
comes from Baltimore, Maryland with her partner, Lynn and
their son, Matthew.
Baker has great things to
say about Roeper. ―I love it… I
feel like everything I‘ve learned
over 20 years of my educational
career I can use every day. I
love that we have all chosen to
be here, and we all take responsibility for that membership.‖
Baker also has a lot to say about
her philosophies and inspiration. ―I can‘t stop myself from
Teen diets lead to health risks
By BRITTANI HOLSEY
Sophomore Desirè Houck
has a Qdoba burrito for lunchmost school days. She‘s healthy
now, but her diet is putting her
at risk of developing Type Two
Diabetes in the coming years.
―I don‘t really eat breakfast, and at lunch I usually go
out to eat. Qdoba is my favorite,‖ said Houck. ―At home I
usually eat more fruits and
vegetables, but a lot of the food
I eat is from restaurants.‖
―Type two diabetes is a
serious problem,‖ explained Dr.
Mehmet Oz, guest speaker on a
recent episode of Oprah.
―Eating a lot of fast food is the
worst thing you can do for your
body. It poisons the liver, it
blocks the insulin, and the next
thing you know you have diabetes all because you picked up a
candy bar instead of a stalk of
celery,‖ said Oz.
Senior Kristen Perry eats
fast food because it‘s accessible.
―I eat a lot of fast food, mostly
during lunch at school because
it‘s easier. It‘s fast, what can I
say?‖
Oz says that this is a common problem among teens. In
one year, one teen consumes
an average of 49 pounds of
sugar. ―This is the beginning of
having a life full of tremendous
health problems,‖ said Oz.
Oz also says that a lack of
exercise contributes to the diabetes problem.
―I don‘t really exercise,‖
says Houck, ―I run track during
the spring, but besides that, I
See Teen Diet, page 6
teaching. As a kid I always had
more questions than answers,‖
she said. ―I‘m intrigued by new
things and knowledge in general, whether it‘s Six Square,
music, invasive plants, even
robots!‖ Baker‘s greatest inspiration is her great aunt Jessie, a
teacher for 45 years. ―She
brought a great positive energy
that her students just remembered, even 25 years later,‖
Baker said.
At the back to school
assembly Baker was pumped
up, playing music, dancing, and
even jostling some usually uninterested students into performing ―The Wave.‖ Baker‘s warm
personality and dedication to
the school make it easy to see
why she fits so seamlessly into
the Roeper community.
There‘s no doubt that
gossip about any new community member will occur. Rumors of Baker implementing a
―no cursing‖ rule among other
guidelines have surfaced. Baker
doesn‘t seem to mind though,
and explains, ―My main focus is
that this is a place where people
feel safe and supported.‖
Baker is frequently seen in
the halls, meeting students and
carrying on causal conversations. Only at Roeper could a
director be mistaken for a
student.
For more in-depth
coverage of teenage
health, including articles
on what Roeper students
eat and the most recent
salmonella scare, please
see our “Junk Food
Nation” special feature on
page 5.
Inside This Issue
Recent United Auto
Worker strikes have
affected the lives of
Roeper students and
their families
Page 2
The Supreme Court
struggles to define the
extent of student First
Amendment rights
Tuna Talk‘s new ―Hunt for
Red Herring‖ is your chance
to win free movie passes . . .
and more
Page 7
Page 12
2
News
ISSUE
SUMMARY
EDITORIAL
Last week we reported on gay
life at Roeper. This week we
have the inside scoop
Page 3
―What Would George Roeper
Do?‖ bracelets spark a
community e-discussion
Page 3
High School Musical is the
propaganda of a new
generation
Page 4
FEATURE
An in-depth look at teenage
health and eating habits
Pages 5-6
The Supreme Court struggles
to define the extent of student
First Amendment rights
Page 7
Roeper students respect the
boundaries of acceptable dress
Page 7
Roeper has no football team,
no King or Queen, and no
parade. So why do we have
homecoming?
Page 7
COLUMNS & REVIEWS
Hook, line, and sink ‘em with
Terrence Way
Page 8
Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop with
Emi Wilkinson
and Jeremy Gloster
Page 8
UAW strikes distress
Roeper students, families
BY JEREMY GLOSTER
In an attempt to ensure
job security and healthcare standards, the United Auto Workers has been actively involved in
contract negotiations with
Chrysler and General Motors.
The negotiations have led to
strikes for both companies that
have affected Roeper students
and their families.
―My grandparents and
great-grandparents fought to
establish the UAW,‖ junior
Devon Parrott said. Parrott‘s
mother is Health Care Director
for Chrysler.
Despite her family‘s involvement, Parrott is upset with
the union‘s recent actions.
―They haven‘t tried to change at
all,‖ she said.
GM‘s union debacle
reached its climax on Septem-
ber 24, when 73,000 UAW
members went on a two-day
strike.
―The strike has been a
lose-lose situation for both the
company and the workers,‖ said
freshman Emily Henderson,
whose father is an executive at
GM. ―It stops production,
stops cars, supplies can get limited.‖
Freshman Daniel Hurwitz
-Goodman‘s stepfather is
President of UAW Local 909.
―He no longer goes to work to
actually do [work for] GM, but
to do work for the UAW,‖ he
said.
Hurwitz-Goodman‘s stepfather retired from GM last year
but picketed during the September strike. ―It‘s hard [for him]
not to go to work but rather
picket,‖ Hurwitz-Goodman
said.
Though Henderson and
Hurwitz-Goodman agree that
strikes are harmful to the auto
industry, their views differ on
how the U.S. auto industry has
reached this point.
While Hurwitz-Goodman
generally supports the UAW, he
did not support the recent contract that led to September‘s
strike. ―[UAW workers] are
doing pretty well for autoworkers,‖ he said. ―The only factor
[in current problems] is that the
UAW organizers are acting
spoiled.‖
Emi Wilkinson, a junior
whose father is Director of
News Relations at GM, believes
that Japan‘s national healthcare
plan puts U.S. auto companies
at a disadvantage. ―[Having
national healthcare] would be
such a relief off of the UAW
See UAW, page 9
Silence of the cows
Chamber of Secrets Violently
Opened. Tuna Talk Investigates
BY STEVEN “MILKMAN”
BUCKLEY
No one dares speak of it,
few point it out in the hallway,
but many have seen the horror
pictured below: a dead cow,
taped upside-down, hangs from
the wall, framed by the words
―The Chamber of Secrets Has
been opened.‖ If you have not
seen it, brace yourself, and
search the English hallway. It
appears to those who seek it.
Today, the secrets of the
vertical cow will be unlocked:
―Who would do such a thing?‖
―Why a bovine?‖ and most
importantly, ―Who among us is
next?‖
To answer the question
regarding the species of the
victim, we turned to a local cow
expert. A man who has admired
the careful chew and graceful
stumble of the bovine race
since he was just a young boy,
Will Ferrell is noted for his
discovery that the cowbell was
not vestigial, but in fact a vital
organ of the female cow.
Ferrell, who wishes to
Tuna Talk Staff
Reporters: Stephen Buckley, Nicki Friedlaender, Jeremy Gloster,
Aisha Ellis-Gordon, Tom Hickey, Brittani Holsey, Adam Klein, Brian Knall,
Daina Minley, Silver Moore, Terrence Way, Emi Wilkinson
Editor-In-Chief: Tom Hickey
Assistant News Editor: Stephen Buckley
Assistant Features Editor: Emi Wilkinson
Layout Editor: Tom Hickey
Advisor: Linda Vernon
remain anonymous, has some
important insight into the gruesome hate crime. ―What many
people don‘t realize,‖ Ferrell
warns, ―is that cows and humans are both land dwelling
mammals.‖
After citing this chilling
link, Ferrell continues to point
out, ―Some cows produce a
See Scandalous, page 11
This bovine
outside of
Mary Kay
Glazek’s room
was the victim
of a gruesome
hate crime.
The perpetrator remains on
the loose.
Questions? Comments?
Concerns? E-mail Tuna Talk at
[email protected] if you
have something to add to the
discussion. We appreciate all
letters to the editor, community alerts, event reminders,
and other comments.
Remember, it’s your turn to
contribute to the dialogue. We
look forward to your e-mails.
3
Editorial
WWGRD?
BY TOM HICKEY
A Roeper senior, referring to fundraising bracelets
that ask, ―What would George
Roeper do?‖ asked in a recent
email to Middle School Director Emery Pence, ―In a school
of mutual respect and where
everyone is on a first-name
basis, how can we elevate
someone to god-like status?‖
In Pence‘s next community email, various community
members, including Board of
Trustees member David Jaffe,
argued that asking what
George Roeper would do does
not elevate him to a ―god-like
status.‖
By asking, ―What would
George Roeper do,‖ Jaffe
argued, ―we are accepting that
he was the co-originator of,
and for many years the chief
spokesperson for, the philosophy.‖
What the senior realized
that others, including Jaffe,
did not, is that there is a great
difference in wondering how
our founder might act in certain situations, and asking
specifically ―What would
George Roeper do?‖
In her response to
Pence‘s email, Roeper community member Rowena
Cherry said, ―Substituting
GR's name for Jesus‘ name
probably isn't in the best possible taste,‖ because it might
be offensive
to devout
Christians. ―WWGRD‖ isn‘t
only bad taste because it offends Christians; it‘s bad taste
because it offends Roeparians.
As Cherry states, ―The problem isn‘t your intention,‖ the
problem is the way the question is worded.
Explicitly, ―WWGRD?‖
asks what Roeper‘s founder
would do if he were among us
today. This question is one
that Roeper community members should ask themselves
more often. Jaffe is right when
he says, ―It only makes sense
for us to consider these words
and actions as we attempt to
understand how to put the
philosophy into action today.‖
Implicitly, however, the
question incontestably draws a
parallel between a respected
figure, George Roeper, and a
worshipped figure, Jesus
Christ. The two have little in
common.
While we‘re asking
―WWGRD,‖ lets consider
what George Roeper would
do if he heard us comparing
him to Jesus. We cannot ask
―WWGRD?‖ without referring to Jesus.
In comparing George
Roeper to Jesus, we imply that
George Roeper is our supreme leader, our divine, our
object of worship – not just
our founder and ―chief
spokesperson.‖
Roeper c ommu ni ty
members should remember
next time they find themselves
asking what our founder
would do, that the implicit
meaning of a statement can
sometimes be more powerful
than the explicit meaning.
When Roeparians ask
―WWGRD,‖ the impact of
their implicit comparison prevails over that of their explicit
discourse.
If we want to ask what
George Roeper would do, we
need to do so in a way that
does not confuse him with
Jesus.
Community member
Ted Dickens said in a reply to
Emery‘s email, ―Instead of
asking, ‗What would George
Roeper do?‘ it might be useful
to ask, ‗What would George
Roeper think of what we are
doing?‘‖ I propose that we ask
that, along with many other
What gay students?
By DAINA MINLEY
This year, the number
of gay students at Roeper
seems to have dropped
drastically. The question is:
do younger students who
might be questioning, or
have already made up their
minds about their sexuality
or gender feel accepted
enough to come out?
When I came to
Roeper in 2003, I was
amazed to find that in my
freshman class alone there
were at least six ―out‖ gay
students.
I saw as we grew from
lowly freshman to seniors
more of us came out, because we had grown comfortable enough with our
friends and school environment to disclose our sexuality.
In public schools,
most gay students feel the
need to hide their feelings
about their sexuality, and if
found out, most suffer violence at the hands of their
schoolmates.
According to surveys
of lesbian, gay, bisexual,
and transsexual (LGBT)
students, 52%-87% have
been verbally harassed, 21%
-27% have been hit with
objects, 13%-38% have
been chased or followed by
other students, and 9%24% have been physically
assaulted.
When I see these statistics, and think of the larger world - full of disapproving parents, staring
eyes, and violence around
every corner - I come to the
conclusion that life outside
the shelter of Roeper can
be extremely detrimental to
a LGBT child‘s development into a well adjusted,
happy and productive
member of society.
As a transgendered
student, and a member of
the Roeper community, I
don‘t feel like I have any
problem with acceptance,
lack of respect, breach of
my safety, or the safety of
my friends.
Roeper is one of the
best places I could have
ended up in terms of being
able to interact with others
like myself in a social environment.
In the end, it‘s important to remember that acceptance is important to
everyone…young, old, gay,
or straight.
questions in the same vein.
The answers to these types
of questions, and the discussions
that they spur, need be more
intriguing than their specific
wording. The problem with
―WWGRD‖ is that the specific
wording distracts us from the
integral question that is posed.
As Jaffe said, George
Roeper was ―the co-originator
of, and for many years the chief
spokesperson for, the philosophy.‖ Roeper community members should consider this, and
ask what George Roeper would
say if he were still the chief
spokesperson for the philosophy. We just shouldn‘t confuse
him with Jesus.
Letter
from the
Editor
Last month‘s Tuna Talk
was praised for it‘s relevant subject matter. ―Finally,‖ readers
said, ―we can read about real
topics.‖ The Tuna Talk staff
appreciates this warm praise, and
plans to live up to its new reputation by investigating these topics for December‘s Tuna Talk:
The gross excess of ice
cubes in fast food pop.
The most effective number
of belt loops.
The many
barbeque sauce.
varieties
of
Plus many, many more
thought provoking articles!
~~~
The staff greatly appreciates the increased readership that
this year‘s paper has garnered.
Not only is the readership a
good reflection on our paper, it‘s
a good reflection on the community, because it proves that
Roeperians are interested in the
community that they are a vital
part of. We hope that all of you
will continue to care, and will
make your own contribution to
this ongoing discussion.
Please contribute letters to
the editor, advertisements, notices, and comments to Tuna
Talk.
~T.H.
4
Editorial
Fueled by ideology
BY NICKI FRIEDLAENDER
Societies live on common ideology like people live
on food. A gluttonous
amount makes them corrupt
and a deficient amount
makes them collapse.
But a moderate amount
is necessary to keep societies
together and to make them
stronger.
America still runs on
the same ideological foundation that it was built on, but
the way Americans express
their our values has changed.
One consistent behavior of
Americans is their tendency
to bond over things they feel
passionate about.
An aspect of the new
American ideology that English teacher George Tysh
disapproves is its ―sense of
personal entitlement.‖
Tysh stresses that
―America is always trying to
encourage the kids to be egocentric.‖ He explains, ―All
they want you to think
about‖ is ― how you look in
the mirror,‖ and ―whether
you look cool or cooler than
the other people, or that your
car is nicer than their car.‖
After widespread television exposure to the Vietnam
War, millions of American
youths longed for peace and
love. When the violence became unbearable, they stood
up and rallied.
After widespread television exposure to High School
Musical, millions of American
youths lusted for Zac Efron.
When High School Musical 2
came out, they sat down and
watched.
American youth behavior is still passion-based, but
how and where the passion is
directed has changed.
Sophomore Stephanie
Torres calls High School Musical ―a juvenile fad that people, for some reason, think is
cool.‖
Junior Louise Cleveland
says, ―Everyone watches it
because they think it will
make them look cool because everyone watches it.‖
She points out the irony of
how a movie that ―pretends
to advocate non-conformity‖
has a conformist cult of
viewers.
High School Musical caters to the American ideol-
ogy, ―Don‘t worry about
anything, everything‘s going
to be all right.‖ The characters deal with issues, but
problems are easily solved
with singing, dancing, and
high budget production.
Ten years ago, the ideology behind television
shows was different. Torres
describes past ideologies as
―teen life sucks.‖ The characters dealt with issues in practical ways and the outcome
was not always tied up with a
bow. Torres says, ―It‘s better
that way.‖
High School Musical’s portrayal of teen life and issues
is naïve, and it could leave its
viewers with a slightly distorted perception of the
truth, because in the real
world, problems are never
going to be solved by spontaneous outbreaks of show
tunes.
Roeper is teaching students how to function in the
world ―as it should be, not as
it is.‖ Technically, isn‘t the
world in High School Musical
―as it should be, not as it is?‖
Are Roeper and High School
Musical so different?
High School Musical stars Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgins break out in song and dance.
The Roeper philosophy
is a great idea, but is it possible to really learn how to deal
with prejudice and oppression
without being exposed to
them? Do you need to feel
prejudice in order to understand it? Will students know
how to deal with those issues
after they leave Roeper?
Tysh believes, ―You can
say that the kids here don‘t
know how bad the world is.
On the other hand, we don‘t
necessarily need for these kids
to be experiencing the worst
things in the world for them
to get a good education.‖
Even though Tysh believes that Roeper students
learn about ―all kinds of issues
in the most enlightened way
possible,‖ he still thinks, ―[It
wouldn‘t make] you be a naïve
person, you‘d be an informed
person.‖
It‘s important for students to learn about the world
that they‘re living in, but that
information won‘t do them
much good before they figure
out what they‘re living for.
Before looking out at the
world, it‘s critical for students
to look in at themselves.
Photo from www.newsday.com
5
Junk Food Nation
Funyuns
Calories: 140
Fat: 7.0 g
Saturated Fat: 1.0 g
Sodium: 270 mg
Oreos
Calories: 160
Fat: 7.0 g
Saturated Fat: 2.0 g
Sugars: 14.0 g
Sour Patch Kids
Calories: 140
Carbohydrates: 36 g
Sugars: 29 g
Protein: 0g
Pop Tarts
Calories: 203
Fat: 5.0 g
Carbohydrates: 37.6 g
Sugars: 19.5 g
This Student Life Center vending machine has been
the subject of some debate regarding student health.
Should we trade our candy for a healthier choice like
fruit? Listed above are the nutritional values for several
vending machine favorites. Nutrition facts are for one serving.
Students frequent local franchises
Roeper students eat what’s
convenient
BY ADAM KLEIN
―Hunger get what hunger
want‖ is the trademark slogan
for Ballpark Franks. At Roeper,
the slogan could be ―Hunger
get what hunger thinks is convenient.‖
During lunch block, students pile into cars and head off
to the nearest and least expensive eating establishment so that
they can get back before their
5th block classes. But getting
what is convenient is not always
healthy.
Primo‘s, Jet‘s, Qdoba, and
K.F.C. are cheap fast food franchises within five minutes of
Roeper, but they serve predominantly unhealthy food.
―Most quick food is not
healthy,‖ said junior Danny
Burnstein.
Even though Burnstein is
aware that he is not eating nutritious food, he leaves the Birmingham campus at least twice
a day to visit his favorite franchises.
Having off-campus privileges gives Burnstien the opportunity to get food whenever he
desires.
Junior Rob Kruse says, ―If
you don‘t bring a lunch, and
you go off campus, then you
can‘t go out of a certain area, or
else you will be late for your
next class.‖
At Roeper, students can
leave campus during free blocks
at the end of eighth grade if
they have permission from parents and teachers. Oakland
County public schools don‘t
allow their students to go off
campus until they are seniors.
At some private schools, such
as Brother Rice and Marian,
students are not allowed to
leave school at all.
Roeper students are passionate about being able to
leave school. Sophomore Jacob
Saslow says, ―[Off-campus
privileges] make everything
easier. I can get food whenever,
and for game days I can go to
the gas station and get something to drink. It also gives me
something to do when I‘m
bored.‖
Eighth grader Jack Gorland says, ―The day I get [my
privileges], will be like the day I
was Bar Mitzvahed.‖
It is not hard for students
to get sucked into less healthy
eating habits because of their
dependency on off-campus
privileges and their limited
amount of free time.
Bad eating habits don‘t
end off campus. Students without off-campus privileges scavenge for easy food. ―I‘ve got
See Hunger, page 6
Roeper junior Brett Kline chows on
a piece of Jet’s pizza during lunch
block.
Photo by Tom Hickey
6
Junk Food Nation
Teen diet
Killer pot pies
BY EMI WILKINSON
According to the World
Health Organization, over 70
million cases of illness are
caused by food each year in the
United States. Of these cases,
325,000 result in hospitalization
and 5,000 result in death.
Roeper students are split
on whether they should fear
their food.
―It‘s not my number one
concern,‖ says junior Amelia
Hefferon. ―I don‘t know,
maybe it should be.‖
Freshman Adarsh Shah
agrees with Hefferon. ―I don‘t
really think about it,‖ he says.
English teacher Dan Jacobs is more worried. ―My food
once jumped up and attacked
me and chased me around the
room,‖ he says.
On a serious note, Jacobs
admits that food does worry
him. ―I‘m slightly paranoid,‖ he
says. ―Especially about the food
I eat.‖ Jacobs eats mostly organic and raw foods and cooks
most of it himself.
Junior Liam Kirby is
much more concerned. ―The
danger of everyday food
shouldn‘t be underestimated,‖
Kirby says.
Kirby buys organic, local,
unprocessed food whenever
possible, partially out of health
concerns, but also for safety.
―If you‘re buying from the
grower, it‘s less dangerous than
processed food,‖ he says.
Organic produce is grown
without the use of pesticides
and artificial fertilizers. It can‘t
come in contact with sewage
sludge or human waste. Organic
meat and dairy must be produced without the use of antibiotics or growth hormones, high
amounts of which have caused
developmental and medical
concerns.
But even Kirby admits
that organic food isn‘t as safe as
consumers would like it to be.
―It‘s a very loose system,‖ he
says.
The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)
has an organic certification
process, but it has flaws.
Last year, Horizon Organic, the nation‘s largest producer of organic dairy products,
was found to be violating the
standards for how many cows
were allowed to be kept in one
pasture.
Some of the spinach
found to have E. coli last year
was certified organic.
This doesn‘t keep Roeper
students from buying organic
food, or eating organic when
their families do. ―My Mom
recently started buying organic
milk,‖ Shah says, although he
admits that he doesn‘t seek
organic products for himself.
Junior Amy LaCount says,
―My parents worry about what
to buy. I just eat that. Maybe
that‘s not the smartest idea.‖
Hefferon‘s family buys
organic, not because of food
safety, but because of ―animal
welfare and stuff like that.‖
Still, mainstream food
scandals are complicated. Con-
Agra defended its pot pies,
claiming that, had they been
heated properly, no one would
have gotten salmonella.
Junior Josh Jacobs admits
his own negligence in heating
the pies. ―I‘ve actually eaten
many [frozen] pot pies,‖ he
says. ―And I have occasionally
gotten sick from them. But that
was because of my negligence
to follow the heating instructions.‖
Shah is more cautious
when it comes to his frozen
food. ―I [thoroughly] cook my
food,‖ he says. ―But that‘s
about the extent of my concern.‖
Although foodborne illness rates are alarming, most
Roeper students aren‘t afraid of
what might be lurking in their
dinners.
―Honestly,‖ Jacobs says,
―I don‘t believe there is any real
danger in food.‖
Hefferon agrees with Jacobs, saying, ―Don‘t be stupid
about eating.‖
Her words do hold some
truth. By eating organic and
following cooking instructions,
foodborne illnesses can be
avoided.
While concerned citizens
like Kirby may rule that it‘s
better to be safe than sorry, the
general consensus among
Roeper students is that pot pies
aren‘t deadly, which is good
news for fans like Jacobs.
Busy Kids’ Healthy Lunch Menu
Use the following information to help make healthy choices
(Continued from page 1)
don‘t do any major exercise routine.‖
―Almost a fifth of the
nation‘s teens are overweight,
and the major drive of Type
Two Diabetes is obesity,‖ says
Oz. ―Thirty five percent of kids
today will have diabetes sometime in their life, if you‘re black,
40% of the kids, and if you‘re
Latino, half of the kids.‖
Oz says that the fact that
children and teens have more
taste buds than adults makes
them enjoy sweets and savory
treats rather than vegetables.
―This is the main problem,‖ says
Oz. ―Teens just don‘t want to
eat their vegetables. That‘s why
they are at such a high risk.‖
―I‘d rather have a burger,‖
says eighth grader Ari Teitel.
―It‘s just juicy and good. It tastes
better than broccoli.‖
Fast food chains aggravate America‘s obesity epidemic.
Hardees fast food chain has
introduced a loaded breakfast
burrito that contains eggs, ham,
cheese, sausage, bacon, potato
rounds, and salsa. The burrito
contains 780 calories and 51
grams of fat. A teenager should
consume approximately 2400
calories a day, so this burrito has
already covered a large part of
the necessary calorie intake for
the day, and its just breakfast!
Taking strides to live a
healthier life isn‘t hard. Just an
hour of exercise a day keeps
blood flow regular and healthy.
Eating a few servings of vegetables with lunch and dinner is
also an important step in staying
healthy. By cutting back on
those fries, teens can avoid developing type two diabetes and
other illnesses caused by unhealthy foods.
Taco Bell - tell your friendly Taco Bell employee that you want your taco Fresco
Style, They will replace cheese and/or sauce with a fiesta salsa made of diced tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. According to the nutrition guide on the Taco Bell website, a
Fresco Style crunchy taco reduces the fat from 10 grams to 7 grams. Ole!
Jet’s/Primo’s, etc: - get thin, unstuffed crusts and vegetable toppings ( green peppers, mushrooms, onions, and tomatoes). Two slices of pizza topped with vegetables
have 340 calories and 12 grams of fat. vs. two slices topped with sausage: 600 calories and 32 grams of fat.
Qdoba — Mexican food can be a diet disaster, with all the cheese, sour cream,
creamy ranch, guacamole and warm three-cheese queso. Qdoba has a brochure with
detailed ingredient and nutritional information to help you cut out the fat.
SUBWAY has seven subs with under 6 grams of fat: Veggie Delite, Ham, Roast Beef, Subway
Club®, Roasted Chicken Breast, Turkey Breast and Ham, and Turkey Breast.
KFC - keep driving, unless you’re happy with a side of green beans and mashed potatoes without
gravy.
Hunger
(Continued from page 5)
like a million kids trying to steal
our homeroom‘s snack,‖ says
Student Life Coordinator Linda
Vernon.
Sophomore Aaron Solomon says, ―Sometimes I just
take sealed bags of chips I see
lying around, I don‘t care [who
the chips belong to]. I‘m hungry, I‘m gonna take it.‖
7
Feature
Cop talk
BY TOM HICKEY
Birmingham Detective
Corporal and School Liaison
Ron Halcrow talks about why
police officers are harder on
teens, how he uses MySpace to
track illegal behavior, and why
Birmingham officers prefer
crepes to donuts.
High School students raised this banner to display their freedom of speech.
Free speech 4 students
BY STEPHEN BUCKLEY
The First Amendment
free speech rights of students
are defined by two Supreme
Court cases, and recently the
groundwork has been laid for
the introduction of a new dynamic decision to change the
rights of American schoolgoers.
Only two cases bear heavily on students‘ First Amendment free speech rights: Hazelwood School District v. Kuhlmeier
and Tinker v. Des Moines.
Tinker rules that a school
can censor only if it gives reasonable evidence that the expression of students‘ opinions
will be ―a substantial disruption
of the school‘s educational mission.‖
This simple ruling managed all student free speech
cases from 1969 until 1988,
when Hazelwood went to the
Supreme Court, and amended
the Tinker decision, allowing
censorship of speech that is
―reasonably related to pedagogical concerns.‖
If they are interpreted
broadly and carefully applied,
these cases provide an answer
to essentially every school censorship case.
One of the most recent
cases involving students‘ First
Amendment rights is Morse v.
Frederick. About six years ago,
Joseph Frederick was at a
school-sponsored event when
he unfurled a 14‘ banner proclaiming ―Bong Hits 4 Jesus‖ in
giant letters. When Principal,
Deborah Morse told him to put
it away, Frederick refused, and
was suspended from school for
10 days on the grounds that he
was violating the school‘s antidrug policy.
Frederick sued.
Frederick, now teaching
English to students in China,
says that freedom of speech is
very important to him, though
the actual wording of the sign is
not.
Now, six years later, the
Supreme Court has ruled that
the wording is very important.
The Court has decided
that it was reasonable for Morse
to demand the banner be put
away, because otherwise, the
school‘s official stance on drug
use would be powerfully
shaken.
The Court called the banner ―sophomoric‖ and Justice
John Paul Stevens reportedly
said, "This case began with a
silly nonsensical banner, (and)
ends with the court inventing
out of whole cloth a special
First Amendment rule permitting the censorship of any student speech that mentions
drugs, so long as someone
could perceive that speech to
contain a latent pro-drug message."
This decision sets the tone
How did you feel
about cops when you were
growing up?
When we were growing
up we thought that if we could
get away with something, that
was great. I mean, we were
teens too.
How has technology
changed the nature of law
enforcement?
The enforcement of liquor laws has increased, because we didn‘t have PBTs
(Portable Breath Tests) back
then, so for an MIP (Minor In
Possession), you had to have
the alcohol on your person.
Now, you just have to have it
in your system. There are
more ways to intercept messages on MySpace accounts, we
can find people – not that
we‘re picking on somebody –
but these are ways that we can
curtail underage drug and
drinking issues with teens.
If I have a picture on
my MySpace page in which
I’m holding a bottle of Jack
Daniels, can I get in trouble
with the cops?
Not necessarily for that,
but if you‘re on probation, and
a judge or a probation officer
See Free Speech, page 10
See Police Interview, page 11
Roeper students feel
Unique homecoming
entitled to expression for a unique school
BY BRIAN KNALL
Roeper students have
freedom of expression, and feel
that dress codes cause problems. They are glad that Roeper
isn‘t going to enforce a dress
code, because they feel that
they respect the boundaries of
acceptable dress.
Looking at the students‘
reaction in some of her previous schools, sophomore Nicki
Friedlaender thinks enforcing a
dress code could make things
worse. ―Since there are no rules
there is no need to rebel,‖ she
said. ―I see more shocking
things when there is a dress
code.‖
Friedlaender went to
Cranbrook in middle school,
where administrators told students that if they were breaking
the dress code, they would be
told in private. Students were
actually told in front of classmates.
Friedlaender believes that
teachers use dress codes as an
excuse to get back at students
they dislike. ―Teachers turn a
See Expression, page 9
BY AISHA ELLIS-GORDON
Junior Aaron Frantz says
about Roeper‘s homecoming,
―Roeper is a unique school and
we do our dance uniquely.‖
Since 1995, Roeper students have had their own version of homecoming.
Roeper‘s homecoming
strays from the America traditions: there has not been a football team at Roeper since the
‗80‘s, no alumni come back for
the dance, there is no royal
court, no powder puff game,
and no parade or tailgate par-
ties.
At Roeper, homecoming
is simply dance, usually sponsored by the Junior Class.
The Junior Class gives the
dance a theme. The dance is
usually held on a Saturday night
in early or mid-November from
eight o‘ clock until midnight.
At Roeper‘s homecoming, students dance in their formal
attire, socialize, eat from the
deluxe pastry table, and drink
punch.
Senior Bianca Barton,
See Homecoming, page 9
8
Columns & Reviews
Hook, Line, and Sink „em
Can‟t Stop, Won‟t Stop
WITH TERRENCE “GET OUT OF MY” WAY
WITH EMI WILKINSON AND JEREMY GLOSTER
Each issue of Tuna
Talk will feature my
NEW Roeper sports
column! I hope this
gets me an “A.”
The completion of the
Community Center on the
Bloomfield Hills campus marks
the beginning of a new chapter
for Roeper sports lovers.
Roeper finally has a place where
the entire community can assemble - ―our own domain,‖ as
junior Tricia Haslinger put it.
Roeper athletes will now
be able to enjoy the pleasures
that other sports teams enjoy,
like home court advantage, a
true home crowd, and new
locker rooms.
The Community Center
will be packed on Roeper‘s new
―Super Fridays,‖ when boys‘
and girls‘ J.V. and Varsity teams
will play on the same night.
Athletic Director Ernie Righetti
expects there to be about ―500
people for the girls…and zero
for the boys.‖ This would be a
definite increase in attendance
for both the girls‘ and the boys‘
teams, considering the limited
amount of space in years past
provided by Derby Middle
School.
The long-awaited Community Center boasts 28,920
abundant square feet of all purpose resources. The new facilities include a kitchen, classrooms for Lower School music
students, locker rooms, a multipurpose room, and a gymnasium where Lower School P.E.
classes and home games will be
held from now on.
Students already have
their favorite parts of the Community Center. ―The showers,‖
is Parker‘s favorite. ―The gym
floor,‖ ―The gym floor,‖ and
―The gym,‖ are the respective
favorites of seniors Paige Wilson, and Joel Kimpson and
Coach Ernie Righetti.
You can‘t blame them.
The 92‘ deep gym floor features
Roeper‘s red, black, and white
school colors and a big, red,
capital ―R‖ at the center of the
court. It‘s the finest gymnasium in the MIAC, and will be
used for various events, including rock concerts and district
championship games for basketball.
―This is a great moment
for our school,‖ said Head of
School Randall Dunn at the
ribbon cutting ceremony in
April.
What could be greater
than a new wood floor, a whirlpool, and a concession stand?
Popcorn will be in profusion,
and so will cold drinks. If you
are not a popcorn fan, there will
be a variety of other foods to
feed the beast within.
There‘s also a spirit shop
with all the Roeper gear you
could possibly wear. From the
top of your Foam Finger to
your Roughrider pajama pants,
you‘ll be set to represent
Roeper any day of the week.
If there was ever a time to
be a Roughrider fan, the time is
now.
You only
thought you
knew what
“baller” meant
Unlike 2003, when Kanye
West released his debut, The
College Dropout, or even 2005,
when he released Late Registration, 2007 has been the year of
Kanye.
Spearheaded by the release of Graduation, the last of
the loosely based concept trilogy, West has campaigned to
merge his narcissistic Godcomplex with his insecurities as
an MC. This attempt has resulted in a number of side projects, and West has been fashioned as a universal figure of
urban mythos. He is a dynamic
virtuoso of talent and sex appeal.
So, Mr. West has a blog.
(www.kanyeuniversecity.com/
blog/). Here, we can learn
about what hip-hop‘s so-called
―creative genius‖ finds worth
talking about. These topics include, but are not limited to:
himself, fashion, technology,
any instance of fashion and
technology colliding, the nation‘s education system, his
friends, assorted YouTube videos and, of course, himself.
While Kanye West apparently loves nothing more than
Kanye West, he does have
space in that head of his for
other things, and he apparently
finds great joy in blogging
about them. Ever wonder what
West mentor/protégé Common is up to these days? West‘s
blog is full of clips that feature
Common in some way. What
about Marc Jacobs‘ ―Blocky
Bracelets‖? West blogs about
those, too. And if you missed
the season premiere of Saturday
Night Live featuring West, don‘t
fret. He‘s blogged all of his
clips. West is apparently trying
to make his blog more of a
journalistic endeavor, as well;
he is now featuring a ―Designer
Of The Week‖ profile, starting
with Marc Jacobs. Oh, Kanye,
what will you think of next?
Whatever does come out of his
head, expect to see a blog about
it sometime soon …
Kid Sister is an up-andcoming MC from Chicago. She
is also the girlfriend of producer
and Kanye West promoter ATrack. This is of no surprise, as
her latest single, ―Pro Nails‖,
was featured on West‘s preGraduation mixtape, Can’t Tell
Me Nothing. West raps on the
southern-flavored track, and
appears in its video. ―Pro Nails‖
is currently out on Fool’s Gold.
What do you get when
you cross Kanye West,
Pharrell Williams, and Lupe
Fiasco? Yes, you get yet another
rap supergroup, but this collaboration is not just another name
on the seemingly endless supergroup list. The three have joined
forces to create CRS, or Child
Rebel Soldier, a group that, if it
pans out, could prove to be a
See Music, page 10
Cobra Starship - ¡ Viva La Cobra!
BY EMI WILKINSON
You‘ve got to hand it to
Cobra Starship—they certainly
don‘t claim to be anything
they‘re not.
If you‘re not familiar with
their name, you probably know
their debut single—―Snakes On
A Plane (Bring It)‖ from the
movie of the same name. Any
band that would attach themselves to a movie of that absurdity can‘t take themselves
too seriously. Cobra Starship
certainly doesn‘t. As they proclaim in their lead single,
―Guilty Pleasure,‖ ―I‘m just
here to make you dance tonight/I don‘t care if I‘m a guilty
pleasure for you.‖ Cobra Starship transports their listeners
back to a time when music didn‘t have to blow anyone‘s mind
or alter their perception of real-
ity. It just had to make them
feel good.
This isn‘t to say that
this album will make everyone
want to put on their dancing
shoes. The 11 songs on ¡Viva
La Cobra! are heavy on the
keyboards and serve up a
healthy dose of humorous cynicism. If you prefer trying to
understand Rush‘s 2112, then
you may want to look elsewhere
for your ya-yas. But if the idea
of someone singing ―I‘m bringing sassy back‖ (―Kiss My
Sass‖) makes you smile, or if a
cheerleader chant of ―Damn
that girl she scandalous!‖ (―Damn You Look Good
and I‘m Drunk (Scandalous)‖)
makes you want to shake it,
then ¡Viva La Cobra! may very
well be your new favorite album.
Cobra Starship know their
limits, and they never try to
extend past those limits. Their
lyrical limits leave them with
somewhat similar sounding
songs, relying on Hollywoodglamour clichés that are only
ironic to an extent. Their attempt at a love song (―The
World Has Its Shine (But I
Would Drop It On A Dime)‖)
has more ―whoas‖ and ―heyhos‖ than heartfelt sentiment.
But when they rely on
their tongue-in-cheek bravado
to carry their lyricism, as they
do on ―Damn You Look Good
…‖ (which is by far the highlight of the album), they find
themselves creating brilliantly
ridiculous and original lines like,
―You‘re the kind of girl I‘d take
home to mom/ If my mama
was dead!‖
Cobra Starship gained notoriety for their combination of
glossy beats and occasionally
dark lyrics, and those themes are
abound on ¡Viva La Cobra!. You
certainly won‘t find enlightenment in the world of Cobra Starship, but if you can simply turn
up the volume and smile rather
than mope behind your headphones, you‘ll find that this album glistens with rad.
7.5/10
9
Expression
(Continued from page 7)
blind eye to dress code infractions by the student that is doing well and not talking a lot,
while the trouble student always
gets caught,‖ she said.
Friedlaender knows that
dress codes can cause problems
like these, and she likes Roeper
because it does not have a dress
code or any of the resulting
problems.
Friedlaender feels that
rules tempt students to push
the limits of a dress code to see
how far they can go in breaking
the rules before they get caught.
―Roeper doesn‘t have a dress
code, and people don‘t talk to
you about anything, so no one
tries to push the limit,‖ she said.
Implementing a dress
code is not on the agenda for
Roeper administrators because
students aren‘t affronted by the
way classmates dress. ―It never
really bothered me,‖ said
sophomore Christina McDaniel.
McDaniel believes that,
for the most part, students
should be able to dress how
they want, because they have
not yet abused that right. ―If it
becomes a generally offensive
thing, something needs to be
done, but if it just offends one
person, that person needs to
suck it up,‖ said McDaniel.
Math Teacher Sharon
McDermott pays attention to
what students wear. McDermott says she would, ―Ask the
boys to pull up their pants, and
suggest girls wear more conservative shirts.‖
Senior Edward Ewell
doesn‘t think the freedom of
dress is too free at Roeper. ―I
Next Month
In Tuna Talk
think people should have freedom of choice of what they
want to wear,‖ he said.
Fried laend er agrees,
―People have a right to freedom
of expression,‖ she said. ―I like
it. This is the least strict code of
any school I have ever been
to.‖
Upper School Director
Lisa Baker says, ―Knowing
what certain situations and environments require is more
important than a dress code.‖
She added, ―There is not a plan
to implement a dress code.‖
who has attended the Roeper
homecoming dance for the past
two years, says that one of the
downfalls is that ―because it‘s
not like all other homecomings
with a football team, it is not as
exciting.‖
Are students using the
wrong name for the dance?
Some Roeper community
members believe that Roeper is
trying to be like public schools
by calling the dance
―homecoming.‖
Senior Kevin Jerue has
never been to homecoming at
Roeper, but has his own opinion about calling it
―homecoming. ― ―I don‘t think
that we are trying to be like
other schools,‖ said Jerue. ―But
it does sound silly calling it the
same name.‖
Students have suggested
that Roeper‘s homecoming be
called ―Fall Fling‖, ―Turkey
UAW
(Continued from page 2)
workers and off of the car industries,‖ she said. ―If America
had socialized medicine, this
wouldn‘t be as big of a problem.‖
Henderson said, ―Cutting
jobs leads to [having to pay for]
healthcare benefits.‖
Still, the effects of the
strikes have been devastating
for some Roeper families.
The case against homework: a
look at the effect of homework
loads on student lives.
By Silver Moore
Do gifted students need to be
evaluated differently than
others?
By Aisha Ellis-Gordon
Innovative approaches to High
School education are sweeping
the country.
By Adam Klein
Homecoming
(Continued from page 7)
LOOK FOR NEXT MONTH’S
SPECIAL EDUCATION
SECTION, WHICH WILL
INCLUDE:
Trot‖, ―The Dance‖ or ―A Fun
Night on the Town.‖
Sophomore Denzel Canales wouldn‘t change the name,
but would change the date of
the dance, so that it corresponds with a basketball game.
Student Life Coordinator
Linda Vernon says, ―I don‘t
think that the name is as important as the event.‖
Traditionally, the homecoming king and queen are two
students who are dedicated to
making their school and community a better place. There is
no homecoming court at
Roeper. Many students have
gone above and beyond the call
of duty to better Roeper and
the Roeper community, but
these students don‘t get recognition as homecoming king or
queen.
Paige Wilson, who has
also attended homecoming
throughout her high school
years, says that she would like
to see a homecoming court, and
does not find the concept ―unRoeperian.‖
Junior Aaron Frantz
strongly disagrees. ―It goes
against everything in the
(Roeper) philosophy,‖ he said.
Vernon agrees with Frantz. ―At
most schools it‘s a popularity
contest - that doesn‘t seem
very Roeperian.‖
Whatever we call it, most
Roeper students look forward
to homecoming. The dance
gives students time to interact
with friends outside the halls of
Roeper, to ―clean up‖ and
dress up for a change.
―There was maybe a period for
about two weeks where we
didn‘t see her at all,‖ Parrott
said of her mother.
Hurwitz-Goodman realizes that car industry woes have
not only affected employees of
GM and Chrysler, but the state
of Michigan as well. ―Now
trucks can‘t leave [the state]
because they get their supplies
from GM,‖ he said.
Parrott similarly sees a
connection between auto industry actions and Detroit‘s economic woes. In Parrot‘s opinion, local auto companies have
not done enough to adapt to
the changing economic climate
in Detroit, which has translated
into problems for auto workers
throughout the nation. ―With
the rising prices of gas and the
poor fuel efficiency, people are
finding it less likely to be able
to hold a job other than in Detroit, and in Detroit there are
far less opportunities. Without
the auto industry you see no
changes, socially,‖ she said. ―If
the cars don‘t progress then the
people won‘t progress.‖
With college applications lurking, and homework demanding
immediate attention, Roeper
students struggle to meet
deadlines.
By Stephen Buckley
PLUS:
At the beginning of each school
year, Roeper students sign a
sheet titled ―Roeper community
guidelines.‖ What‘s on that
sheet, anyway?
By Emi Wilkinson
Roeper doesn't have many traditions, and most students
don't know about the ones we
have. The story behind the
Fighting Tuna and others.
By Terrence Way
Facebook, YouTube, and blogs
don‘t change just the way
Roeper students communicate;
they change the way the world
works.
By Tom Hickey
Media stereotyping is changing
the way we look at our world.
By Jeremy Gloster
10
Free
Thanksgiving and
Speech the First Amendment
(Continued from page 7)
for a new type of students‘
rights‘ case; the legal response
to the pro-drug messages of
minors. In questioning his
principal‘s right to tear down a
sophomoric banner, Frederick
has managed to create a new
legal precedent.
Happy Thanksgiving
on behalf of the
whole Tuna Talk
staff!
“Congress shall make no law
respecting an establishment of religion.”
After the Revolutionary War, the Continental
Congress issued this proclamation recognizing
the need to thank god for delivering the country
from war.
IT being the indispensable duty of all Nations, not only to offer up their supplications to
ALMIGHTY GOD, the giver of all good, for his
gracious assistance in a time of distress, but also
in a solemn and public manner to give him praise
for his goodness in general, and especially for
great and signal interpositions of his providence
in their behalf: Therefore the United States in
Congress assembled, taking into their consideration the many instances of divine goodness to
these States, in the course of the important conflict in which they have been so long engaged;
the present happy and promising state of public
affairs; and the events of the war, in the course of
the year now drawing to a close; particularly the
harmony of the public Councils, which is so necessary to the success of the public cause; the per-
“Congress
Congratulations to
the Varsity Volleyball
Regional Champs!
fect union and good understanding which has
hitherto subsisted between them and their Allies,
notwithstanding the artful and unwearied attempts of the common enemy to divide them;
the success of the arms of the United States, and
those of their Allies, and the acknowledgment of
their independence by another European power,
whose friendship and commerce must be of great
and lasting advantage to these States:----- Do
hereby recommend to the inhabitants of these
States in general, to observe, and request the
several States to interpose their authority in appointing and commanding the observation of
THURSDAY the twenty-eight day of NOVEMBER next, as a day of solemn THANKSGIVING to GOD for all his mercies: and they do
further recommend to all ranks, to testify to their
gratitude to GOD for his goodness, by a cheerful
obedience of his laws, and by promoting, each in
his station, and by his influence, the practice of
true and undefiled religion, which is the great
foundation of public prosperity and national happiness.
shall make no law respecting an estab-
lishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or
abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the
right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the
Government for a redress of grievances.”
- First Amendment to the United States Constitution
Music
(Continued from page 8)
goldmine of brilliance. Earlier
in the year, Lupe dropped a hint
than he and some of his
―homies‖ (homies that we
know very, very well) were
working on a track together.
That track was released on
West‘s ―Can‘t Tell Me Nothing‖ mixtape. Should the group
pull it together, CRS may very
well redefine what a supergroup
really should be.
The song, called ―Us Placers,‖ is rapped over what seems
like an almost beat-less Thom
Yorke sample from ―The
Eraser‖. Leave it to these three
to make the track work.
Although Pharrell is
clearly the weakest rapper in the
group (many bloggers are frustrated over this, proclaiming
that Common should have
replaced him), the single still
shines.
No word on whether or
not CRS will produce more
songs, but let‘s all cross our
fingers.
Mr. West has also just
released a new mixtape, aptly
titled The Graduate. The mix
features live versions, remixes,
and outtakes from Graduation.
While The Graduate contains
only a handful of new tracks, it
is essential for hardcore West
fans.
Standouts include an ATrack remix of ―Get ‗Em
High‖, an extended version of
―Stronger,‖ and yet another
homage to Common‘s ―I Used
To Love H.E.R.‖ (his third).
The mixtape is available on
West‘s previously mentioned
blog as a free download.
Super-producer and rapper Kanye West is busy these days, as
he prepares the debut of his supergroup, Child Rebel Soldier
(CRS).
Photo by complex.com
11
Police interview
(Continued from page 7)
sees that, or you‘re trying to get
a job and you tell them in the
interview that you don‘t drink
and there you are with a bottle
of booze, it doesn‘t look to
good for you, does it? You‘ll
probably violate that probation
and loose that job.
What is your obligation
to the teens who you come in
contact with?
We have an obligation to
correct and alter negative behavior. Our reason for existence is
to do that.
Does my status as a teen
make me more susceptible to
officer suspicion?
If you‘re dealing with fair,
unbiased officers it shouldn‘t
have anything to do with that.
Teens tend to be more impulsive than adults, because it‘s just
their status, their teen brains;
they‘re not fully matured. Impulsivity is a common staple among
teens, so they might do things
off the cuff, whereas later on
they would think about that. If
we‘re in an area where there‘s a
lot of teen activity and we know
that there‘s a lot of problems in
that area, like around The Palladium, the officers are going to
scrutinize that area. If there are
issues of vandalism, vulgarity, or
disorderly conduct around an
area where there are a lot of
teens, it just makes sense that
we‘re going to focus in on that
area. That‘s just selective enforcement to an area where
problems exist.
Is this selective enforcement what makes kids think
that they’re picked on?
The perception might be
that police officers are just clapping down on kids. But really,
they‘re just trying to address that
problem.
I know a middle-aged
Birmingham lawyer who was
driving home from a party
after drinking and smoking
marijuana. A cop pulled him
over, and the lawyer admitted
drinking. The officer let him
go. Could a teen get away
with that?
They shouldn‘t get away
with it. That guy shouldn‘t have
gotten away with it. The officer
dropped the ball on that. When
you have that kind of information, it‘s your duty as an officer
to enforce the laws. Whether
you‘re a teen or you‘re an adult,
it should be enforced equally.
That‘s the ideal. Is it always? No.
I‘ll be honest with you, it isn‘t. It
depends on the officer. I would
say a teen would be arrested
every single time that they admit
drinking and they‘ve been pulled
over.
Many of my classmates
gave me the impression that
they’re scared of police officers. Why is this?
Perhaps they distrust
them. Maybe they have a preconceived image. Maybe they
talked to their friends who have
had a bad experience with an
officer, or felt that they came to
a party and busted it up and they
were picking on them, when in
fact they‘re just doing their job.
A lot of it has to do with perception, which is based on personal experiences, or the experiences that were told to them by
others, and sometimes those
stories get a little embellished.
Are these perceptions
ever justified?
I don‘t blame them for
their perception. There‘s good
and bad employees in the police
departments, just like there is in
every other discipline. Some
officers deal with kids more
effectively than others. I don‘t
blame them for their perception
on that and their opinion. That
was the perception when I
started here, and it will be the
perception long after I retire.
So teen scrutiny for police officers isn’t just a contemporary issue?
No, no. We‘ve been scrutinized by young people since the
dawn of policing. It‘s something
we expect. Some kids like us,
some kids don‘t.
How accurate is the
Hollywood portrayal of donut
gobbling police officers?
Well look, we‘re in Birmingham so we don‘t do the
donuts anymore - it has to be at
least gourmet bagels. Or crepes.
(laughs).
Read the next half
of this interview in
next month’s Tuna Talk
Student
Government
Updates
The FunFunFun
Committee has lots
more events in the
works. - can you say
―Ice Cream Social,‖ or
Powder Puff Football
Game‖?
SG is in the process of
rewriting the bylaws these should be in the
works for the next couple of months and are
intended to be in use for
years to come.
SG is discussing assemblies and the policies
involved. If anybody
wants to share any input, they should talk to
their Grade Reps, or put
a note in the SG mailbox in the office.
Leave any questions, comments,
or concerns in the Student
Government mailbox in the
Main Office at the Birmingham
Campus.
Check out the Student
Government board in the
Student Life Center for further
updates and posts.
Scandalous: udder insanity strikes
(Continued from page 2)
liquid we experts call ‗MILK,‘
an acronym for ‗Mono-Iodide
in Ligandic Kyrosine.‘‖
MILK is Ferrell‘s best
guess as to why someone would
want to torture any symbol of a
species oft noted for its beauty.
Though commonly considered
to have the power to grow new
bones, MILK is a poison for
some ―lactose intolerant‖ individuals.
Could our killer be one
such misfortunate soul? Or are
there many such psychotics - a
cowspiracy? Did this seemingly
harmless aversion turn from
mere ‗intolerance‘ to full blown
hatred? Ferrell thinks so, adding, ―Many Lactose Intolerants
have violent reactions to
MILK.‖
We can only trust his
judgment and mooooove on
with our investigation based on
his brave assumption.
If the vicious cowmurderer is lactose intolerant,
the logical explanation for his
victims would be their ability to
produce MILK.
So who among us is at
risk? Ferrell says that another
mammal that produces the substance is the pregnant human
female, whose ability is probably used as a defensemechanism.
Noted pregnant female
Laura Panek, was unavailable
for cowment, probably because
she had gone into hiding, but
possibly because she wasn‘t
asked.
Ferrell, too distressed to
speculate in a professional role
any further, was disgusted ―this
murderous freak would milk the
publicity for all it‘s worth.‖
There you have it: the
answers to this heart-breaking,
cowardly murder unveiled. The
cow‘s ability to produce MILK
set-off the latent madness in the
intolerant, who is, at this very
moment, on the hunt for the
AP Biology teacher. From the
udder insanity, this is all we can
rationally imagine to be the
case, due to the mysterious
nature of this unmentioned
happenstance.
In fact, the only thing
about the brutal slaying which
isn‘t interesting is the statement
surrounding the cow. ―The
Chamber of Secrets Has been
opened‖ is obviously true: there
have been numerous reported
incidents of people (voluntarily
or accidentally) opening up J.K.
Rowling‘s historical text Harry
Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, a
book which discusses the wellknown Secret Chamber of
Roeper‘s Upper School, located
on the fourth floor, just before
the German Hallway‘s intersection with the Cafeteria. (For
the record, the Chamber is
open to all Roeper students,
and the Chess Club is expected
to hold a meeting there shortly.)
Rowling, who recently
attempted to incorrectly amend
her works in a politically correct
manner, refuses to acknowledge
that her book provoked the
devastation. She says only, ―I
[harbor no vendetta against
cows, and have never written in
an anti-bovinary fashion].‖
You
Will Be
Missed,
Fair
Cow
12
Recommended Reading
From your friendly neighborhood
Tuna Talk Editorial Board
ATONEMENT - IAN MCEWAN
This four part novel that recounts the life of English girl Briony Tallis is the culmination
of McEwan‘s talents: it is both psychologically penetrating and expansive, and drips with language that is at once ornate and surgical. Atonement is the realization of McEwan‘s specialty, a
novel centered around a tragic occurrence and its ever recurring consequences. After a lifealtering midnight attack, each member of the Tallis family is changed forever, as they come to
be defined by the memory of the attack, and all of the misunderstandings, lies, and accidents
that followed. McEwan explores the psyche of each of his intensely realized characters, allowing the reader to gain more insight into the causes of his/her own thought and actions. McEwan moves fluently from the nuances of human thought into the expanses of the human
condition, as he traces one character through the haunting slaughter fields of World War II.
Not only perspicacious, but also historically relevant, Atonement is a must read.
NEVER LET ME GO - KAZUO ISHIGURO
In Never Let Me Go, British author Kazuo Ishiguro imagines a group of boarding school
students in future England. As these students struggle to find themselves, they begin to realize their own significance in a terrifying new world. The narrator of Never Let Me Go leads the
reader through a poignant and capturing narrative, turning over all stones to solve the ultimate mystery of the novel: the shocking and unforeseen consequences of his existence. As
the reader follows the narration, he/she realizes that a turn in the narrative is inevitable; all of
the nuances of the narrator‘s account will invariably lead to a shattering revelation. The capturing narrative effaces the ennui of boarding school life, and touches the reader as much as it
terrifies him/her. This Booker Prize finalist is at once daunting, stormy, feeling, and poignant.
THE HOUSE ON MANGO STREET - SANDRA CISNEROS
Described as a modern classic, The House on Mango Street is the first person account of
Esperanza Cordero‘s life in the slums of Mango Street. With incredibly poetic language,
Esperanza brings to life her parents, siblings, friends, and neighbors. Cisneros‘ Hispanic heritage is the foundation of her prose, and infects her sentences with an arrestingly poetic voice.
"If you take Mango Street and translate it, it's Spanish,‖ said Cisneros. ―The syntax, the sensibility, the diminutives, the way of looking at inanimate objects-that's not a child's voice as is
sometimes said. That's Spanish!‖ By translating Spanish expressions directly into English,
Cisneros creates fresh sentence structures that are disarming and tender. At a mere 97 pages,
The House on Mango Street is a quick read, and is accessible to high school readers of any level.
All readers are guaranteed to be inspired by Cisneros‘ prose, described by Gwendolyn Brooks
as ―sensitive, alert, nuanceful...rich with music and picture.‖
Dear Readers,
The Hunt For Red Herring
We’ve heard that you enjoy Tuna Talk. We’ve noted that you’ve taken copies from the Student Life Center. But we are not sure
that you’re not just lining your cat’s litter box with them. To check to see that you’re actually reading the newspaper, we are including a little
treasure hunt in each publication. Only one copy of Tuna Talk will have an article that is changed in a noticeable way. If you’re the lucky
reader of this copy and you bring it to Advisor Linda Vernon, we’ll give you a free Palladium movie pass. You will also be entered in a raffle for
a mystery prize that will be given at the end of the school year. Oh, it’s a great prize. Seriously. Trust us. We have a budget.
In November’s issue, we’ve changed all of the instances of the word “the” to the word “fish” in one article.
Example: In November’s issue, we’ve changed all of fish instances of fish word “fish” to fish word “fish” in one article.
Let Fish Hunt Begin!
Tuna Talk Arts
Brought to you by The Muse
Featured Artist: Lauren Walkiewicz
Walkiewicz says: ―This was very quick to paint. She has smooth features and a soft but striking face. The challenge of
this painting was portraying her eyes. I love eyes; they‘re why I paint portraits. They have so much emotion and it is quite a
task to capture that in a painting. The eyes really decide the whole feeling about a portrait.‖
About the Tuna Talk Arts Supplement
The Muse is a yearly publication that showcases Roeper high school student poetry, prose, drawing, painting, and photography. All Roeper high school students - veteran artists or beginners - are encouraged to submit artwork to The Muse Editorial Board—
a group of students who will review artworks and determine which pieces will be printed in The Muse in May.
Because The Muse is released only once a year, The Muse and Tuna Talk have come together for the Tuna Talk Arts Supplement, a
monthly publication consisting of Muse submissions, art reviews and interviews written by both The Muse Editorial Board and Tuna
Talk staff. In bringing you this monthly supplement, we hope to make student art more accessible to the community.
- Tom Hickey, Tuna Talk Editor
-Noah Heinrich, The Muse Editor
[Five Instances of Total Unimportance]
[A Snake‘s Legs]
In a small room a belt and a boot fight to the death over a pair of pants the necklace gets left out
because it‘s not there.
[Twin Pigtails]
Swing back and forth. An angry girl who‘s a little lonely. Don‘t hit me, I wasn‘t playing with them.
[Glasses]
Metal and plastic and glass and messed-up depth perception. Look out into the world and see
what‘s far away to make it seem like you‘re there. Shorten the world!
[This One Time in Line]
This weird guy full of idiot energy tried to start a boxing match or something. Being completely
out of it doesn‘t seem to help situations.
[Dinnertime]
I wish they would stop talking. I wish they would stop talking. I wish they would stop talking. I
wish they would stop talking. I wish they would stop talking.
Garth Allen
A conversation
with Lauren Walkiewicz
BY SOPHIA MANNISTO
Muse Board Member
Roeper junior Lauren
Walkiewicz‘s portraits of alluring women range from the simple to the outrageously glamorous, but they all have a bold
presence on the canvas.
Art has always been of
interest to Walkiewicz, but she
specifically recalls when she
began to use oil paints about a
year and a half ago. Even
though they are more expensive
than acrylics, she thinks their
higher quality is worth the extra
money. She doesn‘t like using
other mediums, such as watercolors, because oils have so
much more presence on the
canvas.
Most of the images are
closely cropped around faces
that look as though they are
caught off guard, but elegant
nevertheless.
Her images tend to be
mysterious, and yet, emotion
seeps out of the women‘s faces.
She admits that she has painted
only one male before, because
she finds that women have
more artistic content.
Her characteristic portraits began when she wanted to
find a way to express her infatuation with eyes, and female
faces seemed like the best solution.
Walkiewicz believes she
can communicate something
through her portraits that she
can‘t communicate through
landscapes or other subjects.
Recently, Walkiewicz has
incorporated a greater sense of
background scenery and human
figure into her portraits, with a
1930‘s flapper theme.
Walkiewicz says that each
of her paintings continually
evolve from start to completion, whether it takes a few
hours or several months.
As intellectual as art can
be, Walkiewicz feels that components as simple as color, line,
and shadow are what truly allow
the viewer to find the emotion
and meaning in a piece. When
asked how she utilizes color in
her work, she enthusiastically
remarked that color is her
strongest skill. Whether using
black and white or a variety of
vibrant shades, by manipulating
color Walkiewicz can completely change the tone of a
piece.
The most frustrating part
of painting for Walkiewicz is
the difficulty of translating an
idea into paint. But, for her,
finding how to put thought on
canvas is part of growing as an
artist.
Walkiewicz obviously pays
attention to what is around her
and feels that investigation is an
important element in the artistic
process, but says she understands that she is still learning
how to look at art.
That doesn‘t stop her
from using photography and
fashion as inspiration.
Walkiewicz views art as something that can change one‘s way
of thinking, and give way to
new ideas. She values the importance of expressing thoughts
and making connections be-
tween different works of art.
She currently bases most of her
work on images that inspire her,
and she realizes that she does
not yet fully consider her surroundings and their impact on
her painting.
Walkiewicz takes art seriously, and it is more than just a
hobby for her. She plans on
continuing to study art through
college, but does not think of it
as something that will become a
full-time career in the future.
Walkiewicz wants people
to gain a better appreciation for
art. She would like to start some
sort of series of art shows showcasing students, alumni, and
outside guests, to promote art
and raise money for students
who don‘t have the resources to
buy materials.
After talking with
Walkiewicz, it is clear that she
not only realizes the aesthetic
importance of art, but she also
acknowledges the intellect that
goes into each piece, by both
the artist and the viewer.
Ron Padgett - How To Be Perfect
BY NOAH HEINRICH
Muse Editor
Do you want to know what you need
to do to be perfect? Do you want to
laugh? Do you want to know what a hippopotamus and Saint Augustine have in
common?
You‘ll find all this and more in Ron
Padgett‘s new poetry collection, How to Be
Perfect.
Whether or not this collection will
actually make you perfect (results may
vary), there is no doubt that Padgett has
created something that is at the same time
beautiful, wise, and stunningly irreverent.
How to Be Perfect‘s centerpiece is its
eponymous poem, which is a long list of
things to do in order to be, well, perfect.
The list ranges from ―Do one thing at a
time‖ to ―Do not go crazy a lot. It‘s a
waste of time‖ to ―Make eye contact with
a tree.‖
The poem is simple, consisting entirely of pearls of wisdom like these. The
honesty, or perhaps obviousness, of ―How
to Be Perfect‖ is refreshing, easy to read,
and entertaining. It had me chuckling to
myself the entire way through.
But that‘s not to say that the poems
are just silly things. They are silly, but there
is more to them than that.
The other poems in the book are just
as good, if not quite as out of the ordinary
as ―How to Be Perfect.‖
Padgett‘s style is difficult to describe.
Trying to understand precisely what he is
doing with his poetry takes the fun out of
reading the poems. In order to understand
them, you have to read them. ―Mortal
Combat,‖ the collection‘s opening poem,
begins:
ness of How to Be Perfect is a great deal of
wisdom and idealism. The poems reflect
a passion for the sanctity of life and respect for living beings. The meanness of
life and people is a common subject, and
Padgett‘s musings in the collection are
eloquent and honest, if not terribly original (but compassion doesn‘t have to be).
How to Be Perfect is a smart, laugh out
loud funny, and deeply moving body of
work that is accessible to anybody.
If you missed Padgett‘s reading at
Roeper on November 7th, shame on you.
New York
Poet Ron
Padgett read
poems from
his new book
How to Be
Perfect at an
assembly at
Roeper on
November 7.
You can‘t tell yourself not to think
of the English muffin because that‘s what
you just did, and now the idea
of the English muffin has moved
to your salivary glands and caused
a ruckus.
I leave you to make your own assumptions of where Padgett is coming
from, but this is a common style for many
of his poems.
Underneath the humor and random-
The Muse is a yearly arts publication composed of Roeper Upper School student art. These are covers of past issues of The Muse:
2004
2005
2006
2007
Lauren on Lauren
Roeper junior Lauren Walkiewicz talks about her own paintings and the artistic process.
―This was painted in the Summer of 2006, and is one of
the first oil portraits I ever painted. She has a very distinct
nose and bold lips. The painting is rather simple and just aesthetically pleasing. It is not very expressive, it is more skills
work.‖
―My first attempt at this painting was in Spring of 2006
after [I completed] my first painting. I revisited it in 2007, and
got the painting you are looking at. She has indistinct gums and
she looks very masculine. This is not one of my favorites.‖
―This painting is by far my favorite. Her head is so festive,
but she looks so loathing and jealous. The fabric was a challenge
for me but it was a step in my artistic learning. She has such
funny hands and such an envious face. This was a lot of detail
work and fine tuning, but this picture came out just as I wanted.
That is the best, to see your thoughts laid out just as you want
them to be, in a state of thought that you can share with others.‖
―This painting is very intriguing. It is based off of ‗20's
French cafe society. They are two women gossiping. It was challenging to paint the details, which I don't usually like. I generally
go for bold smooth figures in my paintings, but this one has a
lot of textured detail. The eyes of each woman portrays her
emotions, and each of their eyes are so different, just as the
women's body language and ultimately their personalities are
very different.‖