One-of-a-kind Weddings – Straits Times Nov13

Transcription

The Sunday Times, Singapore
10 Nov 2013, by No author available
General News, page 1 - 2,594.00 cm²
Singapore - English Newspapers - circulation 372,100 (------S)
© Singapore Press Holdings Ltd.
Permission required for
reproduction.
ID 222342707
PAGE 1 of 9
•^Unefllalunil
WEDDING
Couples are dreaming up all kinds
of creative ways to celebrate their big
day. CORRIE TAN and JENNANI
DURA, report. pACEs2&3
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ID 222342707
PAGE 2 of 9
I DO, MY WAY
Some couples splurge,
others keep it simple, but
their aim is the same to
make their wedding special
Corrie Tan and lennani Durai
Visitors to the Marina Barrage
last month might have spied a
crane lifting a large white tent
onto its spiralling green roof.
Except, this was not just any
tent, but the venue for a big wedding bash
with a panoramic view of the city skyline.
Investment analyst Debbie Soon, ,25, fell
in love with the windy, sprawling turf atop
the Marina Barrage. She and her 32year
old husband, who also works in the finance
$10,000 and borrow about $5,000 from
relatives to hold the wedding at the void
deck below his flat.
He was quoted as saying: "My wife told
me she wanted ours to be bigger and grand
er than the others. And I agreed with her
out of love."
Dr Joel Yang, head of the master of coun
selling programme at SIM University's
School of Human Development and Social
Services, believes both traditions and mod
industry, decided it was where they would ern practices have conflated to produce the
host their dinner party after their church current wedding trends seen here.
wedding in the morning.
He says: "Traditional customs view mar
Ms Soon says: "Your wedding is the one riage as a symbol of status, focused on the
time in your life when you can justify such collective family rather than both individu
als. This adds pressure in the way of reluc
an expense to throw a party."
The couple approached logistics compa tance to disappoint one's parents and fami
ny Lian Yick Metal Tents to help them with ly by having too humble a wedding."
At the same time, expensive weddings
the setup, received the relevant clearances
from the Civil Defence Force, the police are glorified in popular media, bridal maga
and the Public Utilities Board and put zines and television shows, he adds.
"The simple 'this is your day' tagline so
together a wedding dinner bearing person
al touches and dotted with colourful lan deeply, and reliably, influences consumer
terns. The total cost was about $50,000.
behaviour and drives couples to splurge on
Ms Soon says they saved enough for the their weddings," he says. "Being a progres
wedding and did not bust their budget. The sive yet conservative nation, we are influ
money from red packets they received also enced by both these traditional and collec
helped defray about 60 per cent of the cost. tivism as well as modern and individualist,
But $50,000 is barely half the amount concepts, which fuel extravagant wed
that some couples spend on their nuptials. dings."
Today, even straightforward, nofrills
Throwing weddings in hotel ballrooms
is the norm. For 300 guests, which is a com
weddings that adhere to tradition can set a
mon turnout, this works out to 30 tables
couple back by tens of thousands of dol
lars. The wedding becomes a family affair
costing about $1,500 each at a four to
fivestar hotel. Booking a wedding venue
alone works out to about $50,000, without
factoring in the costs of outfits, alcohol and
photography, among other things.
Singapore's rising affluence means wed
dings today are no longer the modest
affairs they were 10 or 20 years ago.
Young couples tying the knot may have
more money to spend now, but counsellors
and planners note that peer influence and
and the parents of the couple often chip in
to help soften the financial blow.
Ms Suniartie Sudyono, 28, who got mar
ried in September, enjoyed the communal
feel of her traditional void deck wedding.
She works as a public officer in the Civil Ser
vice College's international department.
She and her husband, Mr Azrulnizam
Shah Sohaimi, 29, who is the national foot
family expectations also contribute to the ball team's manager, had about 1,500
growing trend of "oneofakind" wed guests at their wedding held in a void deck
dings. Many couples hardly blink at spend
ing a sum equivalent to the annual salary
of some workers on their wedding.
The New Paper reported two weeks ago
that a 36yearold technician went into
debt after his wedding, which came up to
$25,500. Despite saving $10,000 for the
and a community centre. They had two
concurrent receptions, one for the bride's
friends and family, and another for the
groom's. A week later, they held a lunch for
their friends at the Crowne Plaza hotel.
Ms Suniartie, her husband and her par
ents split the $70,000 bill for the void deck
occasion, he had to take out a bank loan of wedding and hotel reception. Catering
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ID 222342707
PAGE 3 of 9
food for more than 1,000 visitors, includ
vincing to come round to the idea of an
ing neighbours, colleagues and friends
from school, made up a large chunk of the
intimate, 30person vintagestyle ceremo
ny she envisioned at bakerycafe Carpenter
& Cook in Upper Bukit Timah.
"My parents wanted to invite everyone
they knew, but after we talked to them,
costs.
She had six outfits, including a white
wedding gown and a classic baju kurung.
Their celebration included a silat presen
tation and colourful processions, as well as
several elegant platforms, known as pela
min, on which the bride and groom would
they got quite excited about our idea. It
was quite an eclectic mix with my friends
all dressing to the vintage theme and my
family all decked out in saris," she recalls.
sit. She found it very meaningful that they
The couple, both 27yearold teachers,
stuck to tradition.
limited their guest list to their family and
"I don't think ours was that elaborate,"
she says, "but both of us are the eldest child
bridesmaids and groomsmen, who are
in our families so, understandably, our par
ents were okay with spending a bit more."
With her own savings as well as her par
school.
ents' help, she says she did not incur debt
for the wedding.
While a wedding is rarely the sole cause
of financial woes, it can be a strong contrib
uting factor.
Ms Tan Huey Min, general manager of
Credit Counselling Singapore, says her
organisation has seen clients who reveal
that their wedding spending contributed
to their debt.
She cites the example of a woman in her
20s whom she met several years ago.
"She told me, 'It's a onceinalifetime
thing and being the bride, you're always
the focus'," she recalls. "They had their
friends they have known since secondary
The couple spent just under $1,600 on
the entire wedding, including the venue,
food, clothing and photography.
Similarly, Mr Joshua Symons, 37, and
Ms Sharon Han, 31, opted for a casual cere
mony with a Hawaiian theme at the Sunset
Bay Garden Bistro in East Coast Park three
weeks ago. While they had aimed to keep
their guest list to under 50, it soon expand
ed to 100. But they maintained the relaxed
feel they wanted by encouraging guests to
turn up in Hawaiian shirts and flipflops.
Ms Han, a senior programming execu
tive, wore a simple white gown while
Mr Symons donned a Hawaiian shirt.
"We were getting our new flat, so rather
than do a grand wedding dinner with 25
came from a humble background and the
tables and then still have to pay for a house
and renovation, we decided to set a budget
hongbao money collected was not enough
to pay for the banquet. So debt was
incurred and they didn't have savings. She
business development manager.
■ The couple spent about $4,500 on the
wedding in a hotel but, unfortunately, they
also went for a honeymoon, so that led to
another debt."
Such a situation is not uncommon, she
adds. "People either haven't saved enough
or what they've saved is not enough for the
type of wedding they want. Sometimes,
they might count on the hongbao money
to take care of their expenses, but unfortu
nately it doesn't."
and have a small party," says Mr Symons, a
food, decoration, photography and wed
ding gown, with some friends providing
these services at discounted rates.
The atmosphere was "awesome", says
Mr Symons. "Everyone was comfortable
and had a good time. It wasn't too pomp
ous but was laidback."
Ms Karen Wai, 28, and Mr Jean Paolo
Ty, 30, both filmmakers, also tried to man
Focus on the Family Singapore is one of age the cost of their wedding by setting a
the charities here that provide marriage budget of $10,000, which included the cost
counselling for engaged couples and newly of their outfits and wedding rings.
weds.
They tied the knot in July last year at
Its counselling manager, Ms Tan Soh Fort Canning Park, a venue that did not
Hiang, says the charity sometimes sees need much decorating.
They bought all their decorations from
male clients who feel compelled to accede
to the requests or demands of their bride
and her family and have to take out a loan
as a result.
"Generally, we Asians are still con
Daiso, a chain store where all items cost $2
or less, turning rope and mason jars into
hanging lamps. And for their wetweather
plan, they bought umbrellas from Daiso for
cerned about the 'face' issue. Parents or the their guests instead of renting a tent. Lucki
bride want to be able to look good in front ly, that plan did not have to be activated.
"Even though it was all very simple,
of their friends and relatives and not be out
everything turned out well," says Ms Wai.
done by other weddings in the clan," she
"A small wedding celebration, surrounded
Couples who opt to break with tradition by our closest family and friends, is more
and hold a smaller ceremony often have a than enough for us. Also, as a young cou
says.
tough time getting their parents' approval, ple, we wanted to use our money wisely,
but several newlyweds say it can be done. and this meant saving for our new home."
The bid to make their big day a special
Ms Uma Ramakrishnan, who married
her husband, Mr Jacob Jonathan, in August one can drive up the costs.
last year, says her parents "took a bit of con
Wedding consultants interviewed say
some couples are driven by the desire to
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ID 222342707
PAGE 4 of 9
make their wedding stand out from the heart on a $10,000 wedding gown. Most
ones they have attended.
fivestar hotels require a minimum of 40
Ms Caroline TanReed, founder of tables and the cheapest package is $1,488 a
wedding planning service The Wedding table before service charge and GST. Video
Stylist who helps with about 20 weddings a graphy and photography services cost
year, says some of her clients spend up to $11,000.
$50,000 on floral decorations.
Mr Loh says: "After the wedding,
nobody really cares what happened. Who
seas destinations, such as Bali, Phuket or cares whether it was a beautiful wedding or
the Maldives, to make their wedding stand otherwise? How often will the wedding
out. Even though fewer guests fly abroad video and photographs be viewed?
for these weddings, planning something in
"What is truly important is how the cou
There are also those who turn to over
the azure waters of the Maldives can start
from about $60,000.
Retiree Lawrence Loh, 64, whose son is
getting married next year, feels that young
couples can sometimes get carried away
when planning their nuptials. He expects
ple live out their marriage vows. An expen
sive wedding does not guarantee this."
[email protected]
[email protected]
he will have to contribute a sum to his
son's wedding at some point.
His future daughterinlaw has set her
Tell us how you budgeted for your
wedding. Write to [email protected]
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ID 222342707
PAGE 5 of 9
HAVE A DEBTFREE BASH
Ms Tan Huey Min, general manager of
Credit Counselling Singapore, shares
some tips on how to avoid getting into
debt while planning a wedding.
IS Do your research so that you can
estimate how much you will spend on
your wedding. Decide what kind of
hotel you want to hold your wedding
a 10 to 20 per cent buffer. So if your
total is $30,000, estimate that you
might end up spending about $36,000.
■ If the whole event is expected to cost
$30,000, look at the amount of savings
you both have at the moment. If you
have none and plan to get married 12
months from now, you will need to
to keep that may incur extra cost. Some
families might expect the groom to
give the bride's family a dowry, for
instance.
II There are things you cannot get
quotes for, such as red packets. Many
couples rely on these cash gifts to
recoup their spending, but they may
save at least $2,500 a month. Decide if not always get what they hope for. Do
at and whether it will be on a weekday
the two of you are able to set aside that not forget that you might have to give
or a weekend because the rates can
out a lot of red packets on your
sum every month. If not, make
differ greatly. Gather data on various
wedding day too as tokens of
adjustments. For example, instead of a
items, such as your gown, makeup and
appreciation to friends and relatives
fivestar hotel, go for a fourstar one.
photography services, banquet and
who have helped on your big day.
* Ask if your parents are able and
honeymoon.
■ If you have set a budget for
H After you have done this, calculate willing to help you pay for the
something, stick to it. So no matter
your total cost. There is a high chance wedding. Also, consult them on what
they would want for the wedding
how beautiful a gown may seem, for
that couples will overspend on their
because they might have specific
example, do not be lured into buying
weddings. Ideally, you should include
requests or traditions they would like
it if it exceeds your budget.
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v .The Atelier from Dior Hoipme ^«
Dtgiolgrftja^ shbes from
origaHni^^^^|
Mr Mark Foo and Ms Stephanie Sim releasing 50 butterflies, bought for $5 each.
True to the garden theme they wanted,
traditions were those pertaining to her
items and events, save for some of the deco
lush arches and bouquets of flowers
faith, such as exchanging her vows in a
church. In fact, Mr Foo had proposed to
her outside Saint Peter's Basilica in Vatican
rations and the church buffet, for which
Ms Sim's mother helped to pay.
The bride says, tongue firmly in cheek:
City, a sacred place for Catholics around
"I think he's broke now."
formed centrepieces at the church wedding
and wedding dinner of Mr Mark Foo and
Ms Stephanie Sim.
The couple even released 50 live butter
flies, bought from a local butterfly farm at
$5 each, on the steps of the church after
their solemnisation.
Ms Sim says: "I wanted butterflies
because they represent the evolution of our
relationship and of ourselves as people."
"On top of that, they're very pretty,"
she adds with a laugh.
She discovered a little too late that but
terflies could be caught only at night. They
had initially wanted to release 500 butter
flies, but ended up with 50 because they
could not be caught in time.
She wore a gown from American bridal'
wear designer Romona Keveza, which cost
about $7,500, and had plastic butterfly rep
licas woven into her hair. Her 3mlong veil
was laced with origami cranes and fans.
She says: "1 love origami for its struc
ture."
A staunch Catholic, she felt that the
most important and meaningful wedding
the world.
The couple started proper planning for
the wedding about three months before
the actual day. They chose to host a ban
quet at the W in Sentosa as it was one of
the newer venues in Singapore.
Ms Sim says: "My husband is probably
one of the last of his friends to get married,
so everyone has already been everywhere.
We wanted somewhere new so it wouldn't
be boring for them."
They also liked the W's "quirky" feel,
and had an afterparty at one of its bars
after the dinner, which'was attended by
about 420 people and held two days after
the church reception.
Ms Sim approached florist Mirage Flow
ers to create an "enchanted garden" setting
for the ballroom and the church using flow
ers such as peonies, calla lilies and proteas.
She adds: "He very kindly said, 'Don't
worry, I'll settle it.' But as the receipts grew,
he would say, 'Are you sure you need to
have this? Are you very sure we can't make
do with something else?'"
But they both agreed that it was a once
inalifetime event and that they should
indulge their desires.
Ms Sim gushes: "He is very, very, very
flexible and very kind and generous."
They have had to delay their honey
moon because of work commitments, but
are considering either a visit to Iceland to
see the Northern Lights or a trip to South
Africa.
Mr Foo says he was able to plan ahead
and set aside money for the wedding and
so did not break the bank. Together, the
couple draw a sixfigure annual salary.
• He adds: "To me, a wedding is about
Mirage also put together a "wishing tree", a
sharing your joy with your close friends
small treelike structure on which guests
and family, to let them have an enjoyable
could leave congratulatory notes.
Mr Foo foot the bill for most of the
time and to be happy just as you are."
Cnrrie Tan
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ID 222342707
After weeks of considering various venues for their
wedding ceremony, Ms Chia Sin Nee and Mr Larry
Ho realised that the perfect setting had been right in
front of them the whole time.
The couple decided to hold the ceremony in their
fourroom HDB flat in Marine Terrace, which was
newly renovated to the tune of $50,000. "We wanted
the ceremony to be warm and cosy. We had just
moved in and realised it was the perfect setting for an
intimate party/' says Ms Chia.
Their solemnisation ceremony, officiated by a
Justice of the Peace, took place in April last year in
front of 30 friends and family members.
The couple, whose combined income is about
$ 10,000 a month, spent just under $900 on the event,
paying only for food, photography and decorative
items. They bought 15 white stools from Ikea that
cost $3.90 each and decorated the flat with fairy
lights and bunting made with paper bought from a
craft store. All the flowers used that day gerberas, dai
sies and baby's breath were bought from a wet mar
ket nearby for less than $50.
Mr Ho, whose parents are retired, put together his
outfit with existing pieces in his wardrobe, while
Ms Chia wore a short white dress with a fauxfur collar
she had bought some time ago but never wore. They
catered food from their favourite nasi padang stall in
Kandahar Street, placing the food outside the flat.
Their families pitched in too. Ms Chia's older
brother paid for the champagne.
One of the best parts about holding the wedding
bash at home was that their guests could go barefoot
and relax, she says. "People made themselves comfort
able in every corner of the house."
Her mother, Madam Yvonne Chow, 56, says she
was not at all disappointed by the smallscale ceremo
ny. "I thought it was very meaningful to have it in
their own home with just a few relatives and close
friends," says the accountant. Ms Chia's father is
retired. "Besides, a marriage is about the two of them,
so whatever they feel comfortable with, I am comfort
able with too."
Jennani Durai
PAGE 7 of 9
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ID 222342707
PAGE 8 of 9
To deocorate their flat
for the wedding; • —^
Ms Chia Sin Nee and
Mr Larry Ho spent4ess~
than SSO.on fairy Tight?
andpaiietJtanMkfi —
bunting.
•
PHOTOS: IVAN TAN PHOTOGRAPHY, REVELATION CREATIVE HOUSE, REFLEXIONS PHOTOGRAPHY, BLISS PHOTO+CINEMA, CAILI GOH, COURTESY OF JOSHUA SYMONS
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ID 222342707
PAGE 9 of 9
Holding their
wedding their
way:
(clockwise
from left)
Ms Suniartie
Sudyono
and Mr
Azrulnizam
Shah Sohaimi;
Ms Uma
Ramakrishnan
and Mr Jacob
Jonathan; Ms
Sharon Han
and Mr
Joshua
Symons; and
Ms Karen Wai
and Mr Jean
Paolo Ty.

One-of-a-kind Weddings – Straits Times Nov13

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