Circle of Grace - St. Monica Catholic Church

Transcription

CIRCLE OF GRACE
Program for Children and Young People
Kindergarten through Grade 8
Respecting All God’s People
Safe Environment Training
Acknowledgments Circle of Grace Program The Archdiocese of Omaha would like to extend its gratitude and appreciation to the Circle of Grace 2007 writing committee. Their willingness to accept the invitation to continue to share their time, talent, and expertise will have a profound impact in the lives of our children and youth. Reverend James Gilg, MA, MS Mary McGuire, MS Superintendent of Catholic Schools Principal, St. Wenceslaus School, Omaha Reverend Matthew Gutowski, MA, STL Thomas Murray, MA Director of Catholic Faith Formation Office Youth Minister, St. Leo the Great Catholic Church Mary Maguire, BS, Certificate in Pastoral Studies, Director of Religious Education, St. Peter Fletcher, MAS, MTS Stephen the Martyr Jackie Buchta, MA Margaret Iossi, MPS Teacher, Assumption/Guadalupe School, Omaha Assistance Coordinator of the Formation and Education in Sexuality and HEARTS Program Mary Beth Hanus, LCSW, LMHP Teacher, V.J. & Angela Skutt Catholic High School Victim Assistance Coordinator/Safe Environment Mark Zimmer, LCSW, LMHP School Counselor, St. Wenceslaus Special thanks go to all of these members of the past School and Religious Education Writing Committees for their commitment, creativity, expertise, and countless hours of dedication. Reverend Michael Gutgsell Laura Buddenberg Colleen Leise Kathi McGee Debbie Sheehan Sr. Patricia Throener, SSSF Marsha Moon Mary Wahonick Kathy Kensinger John Gencarelli Deb Waskowiak Betty Pickett Carl Wirth Stacy Badura‐Koterba Rita Ramos Sister Michelle Faltus, SFCC Judy Hermsen Deanna Reilly Diana Hernandez Ann Fangman Tara Novotny Judy Bisig Lisa Nelson Marilyn Wiebelhaus Therese Farnsworth Lisa Klemme Reverend Jeff Loseke Thanks to Mark Zimmer, LCSW, LMHP for the design of the Circle of Grace logo. Thanks to Diane Burton, BS the copy editor for Circle of Grace. Special thanks to Reverend John Broheimer, MDiv, MA for his copy editing, style, and material support. Many thanks to Sister Angela Erevia, MCDP for her Spanish translation of the parent material. Special thanks to Rev. Michael Gutgsell, JCL for his indomitable spirit in leading the Archdiocese of Omaha in the Safe Environment efforts (2003‐2006). Introduction Development of the Circle of Grace Program has been a passionate journey for all involved. The Archdiocesan committee was brought together by the mandate of the U.S. Bishops’ Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People. The charter mandates that each diocese must have a safe environment program for children and youth which includes an audit to ensure compliance. The committee set a goal early on that we wanted a program rich in our Catholic faith and clinically sound. The committee knew the program needed to first meet the standards of the U. S. Bishop’s audit, but we also wanted much more for our children and youth. Thus, we decided that our main commitment was above and beyond meeting the needs of the U.S. Bishops’ audit; we want to ensure the safety, well‐being, and spiritual formation of our children and youth. With these goals in mind, we have developed a program which includes teaching a culture of respect and faith that goes beyond mere protection. This program helps children and young people understand their own sacredness, the sacredness of others, and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults. Consequently, the Circle of Grace concept was born. What is the Circle of Grace? It is the love and goodness of God that surrounds us and all others. It is the recognition that God is with us always and is there to help us in difficult situations. Through the Circle of Grace Program, adults assist children and youth to recognize God’s love by understanding that each of us lives and moves within a Circle of Grace. Your Circle of Grace holds who you are in your body and through your senses. It holds your very essence in mind, heart, soul, and sexuality. This holistic concept allows children and youth to identify uncomfortable situations long before any inappropriate touch may occur. Those who molest children start to groom them by manipulating them to break rules and keep secrets such as consuming alcohol and viewing pornography. This manipulation usually occurs before any attempt of inappropriate touch. The Circle of Grace program helps children and youth to identify early on when they are uncomfortable with a situation and includes ways to seek the help of a trusted adult. The Circle of Grace K‐12 Program goals and objectives are met in all grades. The program is self‐contained for each grade with everything needed to teach the material. One of the benefits of the Circle of Grace program is that the instructors also have the opportunity to ponder their own belief and experience of God’s presence in their lives. During a training session an operating room nurse, who was a catechist, asked the following question: “So Jesus is right with us in the operating room?” Her prior faith formation taught this belief but the Circle of Grace Program finally allowed her to understand God’s love in a very visual and real way for her life. With that realization in mind, ponder the Circle of Grace prayer. It is profound in its simplicity. Raising your hands above your head and then bring your arms slowly down keeping them outstretched. Extending your arms in front of you and then behind you embracing all of the space around you knowing that God is in this space with you. Then slowly reach down to your feet. This is your Circle of Grace. You are in it. What would our world look like if we all lived believing and truly knowing that God is that close? Mary Beth Hanus LCSW, LMHP, Victim Assistance Coordinator, Archdiocese of Omaha. Table of Contents I. Administrator/Director information 1.
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Administrator/Director Information Steps of How to Handle Sensitive Situations Program Summary Evaluation (data meets national audit requirements) Parent Program Letter Parent Resource Information Child Abuse/Neglect Information II. Kindergarten 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson 1 – What is the Circle of Grace? Lesson 2 – The Stoplight: Feelings, Touch and Secrets Lesson 3 – Safety Plan All handouts needed for Kindergarten III. Grade 1 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson 1 – What is the Circle of Grace? Lesson 2 – The Stoplight: Feelings, Touch and Secrets Lesson 3 – Safety Plan All handouts needed for Grade 1 IV. Grade 2 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson 1 – What is the Circle of Grace? Lesson 2 – The Stoplight: Feelings, Touch and Secrets Lesson 3 – Safety Plan All handouts needed for Grade 2 V. Grade 3 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson 1 – What is the Circle of Grace? Lesson 2 – Boundaries and Limits of Our Circle of Grace Lesson 3 – Action Plan All handouts needed for Grade 3 Table of Contents VI. Grade 4 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson – Internet Safety All handouts needed for Grade 4 VII. Grade 5 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson – Understanding the Influence of the Media on our Circle of Grace All handouts needed for Grade 5 VIII. Grade 6 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson 1 – Circle of Grace: Pieces of the Puzzle Lesson 2 – Safe Relationships: Putting the Puzzle Together Lesson 3 – Boundaries: Every Piece Has Its Border Lesson 4 – Safety PLAAN: When Something Doesn’t Fit All handouts needed for Grade 6 IX. Grade 7 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson – Saying No to Disrespect: Honoring Everyone’s Circle of Grace All handouts needed for Grade 7 X. Grade 8 1.
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Leader Guidelines Philosophy, Goal, and Objectives Vocabulary Lesson – How to be Morally Responsible in Today’s Culture All handouts needed for Grade 8 Guidelines School Administrators, Directors of Religious Education, and Youth Ministry Directors •
Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, catechist, or youth minister who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. All leaders must be adults and certified in Safe Environment training. •
Every leader should read the philosophy and goals to better understand and prepare to teach the Circle of Grace. Administrator/Director needs to review how to handle sensitive situations with each leader. It is important for leaders to report all concerning situations to their Administrator/Directors and understand child abuse/neglect reporting laws. A Quick Reference Card for Leaders is located in this section. •
This program may bring up past issues with a leader which may make it difficult for them to teach the lessons. Please encourage leaders in this situation to speak with their Administrator/ Director, Pastor, or they can call the Safe Environment Coordinator directly. Supportive resources are available in their community to help them. •
The time frame for lessons may vary depending on size of class, age of children/young people, amount of discussion, etc. •
Vocabularies with definitions are intended for the leader. The explanation of vocabulary should be integrated within the context of the lessons to assist the children and young people in their understanding of the Circle of Grace Program. The depth of the children/young people’s understanding will depend upon their age and developmental stage. A master vocabulary list of the Circle of Grace Program is included in the packet for each grade. •
Each lesson is correlated with Catholic teachings. •
The Circle of Grace program needs to be implemented each calendar year in all grades. •
Leader’s instructions for each lesson are italicized. Non‐italicized text needs to be presented by the leader to the children or young people. All the information and handouts are provided for each grade. •
If possible, it is always “best practice” to have two adults in the room during the lesson due to the sensitive nature of the material. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors •
There should be no more than two to three weeks between the last two lessons in grades K, 1, 2, 3, 6, and 9. Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our children and young people and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. •
There are pre and post assessments for grades 3, 6, and 9. This tool will assist in evaluating the children/young people’s understanding and assimilation of the concepts. The results are to be recorded on the grade evaluation and are not to be shared with the children/young people. •
The School Administrator, Religious Education Director, or Youth Minister Director need to send out the provided letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace prior to starting the program. All parents should receive the “Common Questions of Parents” handout. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The parent information included in this chapter for every parish/school is to assist in providing parent education both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. •
Evaluations for each lesson are to be completed and returned to the School Administrator, the Director of Youth Ministry, or the Director of Religious Education/Formation. The administrator or director will use these evaluations to complete the Summary Evaluation (located in this chapter). The Summary Evaluation needs to be sent to the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
for ongoing improvement of the program, for parish and school documentation of the implementation of the program, and for audit records. •
Return the summary evaluation to: _______________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Guidelines Non‐Participating Children/Young People The guidelines from the Office of Child and Youth Protection state: WHEN A PARENT/GUARDIAN REFUSES TO ALLOW THEIR CHILD/YOUNG PERSON TO PARTICIPATE IN THE CIRCLE OF GRACE PROGRAM: A parent may refuse to allow their child to participate, but it must be done on a case by case basis. Parents must submit the following in writing with a signature: •
Safe Environment training was offered to their child/young person •
They refused to allow their child/young person to participate in the training •
They received Safe Environment training materials for their child/young person. Administrator/directors will provide parents with the age appropriate lessons and parent packet. A record of parent’s written documentation needs to be maintained to ensure full accountability. __name, title, and phone number ___
Please call if there are any questions or concerns. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Philosophy
What is a Circle of Grace?
The Catholic Church teaches that God has created each of us as unique and special. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created “male and female in God’s image” and that God saw this as “very good.” In that goodness, we are meant to respect ourselves and everyone else as persons created and loved by God. Adults assist children/young people to recognize God’s love by helping them to understand that each of us lives and moves in a Circle of Grace. You can imagine your own Circle of Grace by putting your arms above your head then circle down in front of your body including side to side. This circle, front to back, holds who you are in your body and through your senses. It holds your very essence in mind, heart, soul, and sexuality. Why is it important to help our children/young people understand the Circle
of Grace?
God intends our relationships in life to be experiences of divine love. Respectful, nurturing, loving relationships increase our understanding of our own value and help us to love others. It is never too early to help children/young people understand how very special they are and how relationships in life are called to be sacred. Understanding this can help them to protect the special person they are and to be respectful of others. Adults, as they strive to provide a safe and protective environment, hold the responsibility to help children/young people understand and respect their own dignity and that of others. A truly safe and protective environment is one where children/young people recognize when they are safe or unsafe and know how to bring their concerns, fears, and uncertainties to the trusted adults in their lives. How is the Circle of Grace Program different from other protection
programs?
According to research, one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused by age eighteen.1 Many protection programs focus on “stranger danger,” however, up to ninety percent of the time the perpetrator of abuse is known to the child/young person such as a relative or family friend. Circle of Grace goes beyond just protection by helping children/young people understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults. Goal of the Circle of Grace Program - Grades K-12
The goal of the Circle of Grace program is to educate and empower children and young people to actively participate in a safe environment for themselves and others. Objectives of the Circle of Grace Program - Grades K-12
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Children/Young People will understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Children/Young People will be able to describe the Circle of Grace which God gives each of us. Children/Young People will be able to identify and maintain appropriate physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual boundaries. Children/Young People can identify all types of boundary violations. Children/Young People will demonstrate how to take action if any boundary is threatened or violated. www.usccb.org, or http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov 1
Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors History
Background The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops developed the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People during a three‐day meeting in June 2002 in Dallas Texas. This document was the first united response by the bishops to the revelation by the secular media that priests had physically and sexually abused minors over a period of many years. The stories of abuse would appear in dioceses across the United States implicating an increasing number of priests and even bishops. The Bishops gathered in Washington, D.C. in November 2002 to confirm a revised Charter, to develop a set of canonical norms for Vatican approval as particular law in the dioceses of the United States, to organize procedures for a compliance audit of dioceses, to commission a data gathering project on abuse of minors by priests over the previous 50 years, and to set in motion studies that would discover the causes, trace the patterns, and offer strategies for preventing future abuse and protecting minors effectively. Diocese/eparchies will establish “safe environment” programs. They will cooperate with parents, civil authorities, educators, and community organizations to provide education and training for children, youth, parents, ministers, educators, and others about ways to make and maintain a safe environment for children. Dioceses/eparchies will make clear to clergy and members of the community the standards of conduct for clergy and other persons in positions of trust with regard to sexual abuse. Article 12 ‐ Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People The Archdiocese of Omaha, out of concern for all God’s people and in response to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, has developed a program for the safe environment education of children and young people. This program is called Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors CIRCLE OF GRACE SUMMARY EVALUATION FORM School/ Parish _______________________ City: ___________________ Circle one. School Administrator Director of Religious Education Director Youth Ministry Other Name: __________________________ Phone: ___________________________ DATA: Please enter the number of children/youth who completed the program for each grade. This information is required for the national audit. K______ 1st _______ 2nd ______ 3rd ______ 4th ______ 5th ______ 6th ______ 7th _____ 8th ______ 9th ______ 10th ______ 11th _____ 12th _____ Number of children/young people who did not participate in program per parents’ requests: (Attach a copy of the written documentation of the parents’ requests.) Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please review your leader’s evaluations. Based on this review has the program adequately met these overall objectives? Yes No 1. Children/Young People will understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. Children/Young People will be able to describe the Circle of Grace that God gives each of us. 3. Children/ Young People will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. Children/ Young People can identify types of boundary violations. 5. Children/Young People will demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Grade 3 (tally of leader’s evaluation) Number of children who got 70% or better on their pre‐assessment Number of children who got below 70% on their pre‐assessment Number of children who got 70% or better on the post‐assessment Number of children who got below 70% on the post‐assessment Grade 6 (tally of leader’s evaluation) Number of Young people who got 70% or better on their pre‐assessment Number of Young people who got below 70% on their pre‐assessment Number of Young people who got 70% or better on the post‐assessment Number of Young people who got below 70% on the post‐assessment Grade 9 (tally of leader’s evaluation) Number of Young people who got 70% or better on their pre‐assessment Number of Young people who got below 70% on their pre‐assessment Number of Young people who got 70% or better on the post‐assessment Number of Young people who got below 70% on the post‐assessment Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Your feedback is very important in making Circle of Grace the best program
possible for our children and young people. You may summarize your leader
comments here or send the original evaluations.
Please list what worked well and any resources you would like to share.
Please list any suggestions that would improve the program.
Signature:_____________________________ Date:_________________
Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors CIRCLE OF GRACE
Safe Environment Program
Kindergarten through Grade 12
“Respecting All God’s People”
Dear Parent, Out of concern for all God’s people and in response to the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops’ Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, we have a program for the safe environment education of children and young people supported and mandated by Archbishop Joseph Tobin:
Diocese/eparchies will establish ‘safe environment’ programs. They will cooperate with parents, civil authorities, educators, and community organizations to provide education and training for children, youth, parents, ministers, educators, and others about ways to make and maintain a safe environment for children. Dioceses/eparchies will make clear to clergy and members of the community the standards of conduct for clergy and other persons in positions of trust with regard to sexual abuse. Article 12 – Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People This program is called Circle of Grace. It is meant to supplement and be integrated into the excellent programs and curricula for the formation of children and young people in our schools and religious education programs. Circle of Grace aims to equip our children and young people by arming them with essential knowledge and skills grounded in the richness of our faith. This program helps children and young people to understand their own (and other’s) dignity in mind, body, and spirit. What is a Circle of Grace? The Catholic Church teaches that God has created each of us as unique and special. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created “male and female in God’s image” and that God saw this as “very good.” In that goodness, we are meant to respect ourselves and everyone else as persons created and loved by God. Adults assist children and young people to recognize God’s love by helping them to understand that each of us lives and moves in a circle of grace. You can imagine your own circle of grace by putting your arms above your head then circle down in front of your body including side to side. This circle, front to back, holds who you are in your body and through your senses. It holds your very essence in mind, heart, soul, and sexuality.
Why is it important to help our children understand the Circle of Grace? God intends our relationships in life to be experiences of divine love. Respectful, nurturing, loving relationships increase our understanding of our own value and help us to love others. It is never too early to help children and young people understand how very special they are and how relationships in life are called to be sacred. Understanding this can help them to protect the special person they are and to be respectful of others. Adults, especially parents, as they strive to provide a safe and protective environment, hold the responsibility to help children and young people understand and respect their own dignity and that of others. A truly safe and protective environment is one where children and young people recognize when they are safe or unsafe and know how to bring their concerns, fears, and uncertainties to the trusted adults in their lives. How is the Circle of Grace Program different from other protection programs? According to research, one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused by age eighteen.2 Many protection programs focus on “stranger danger”; however, up to ninety percent (90%) of the time the perpetrator of abuse is known to the child or young person such as a relative or family friend. Circle of Grace goes beyond just protection by helping children and young people understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults. Please feel free to contact your school or parish office if you have questions or want more information. www.usccb.org or http://nccanch.acfhhs.gov 2
Below is a sample of a quick reference card that directors and administrators can give their leaders. It will assist them in knowing the action steps to take regarding sensitive situations. Additional information is located in the Administrator/Director’s section in the Circle of Grace binder under “Key Steps When You Have a Sensitive/Concerning Situation”. Quick Reference Card for Leaders A Be Attentive to comments and behaviors during class. C Contact administrators/directors prior to the dismissal of class if comments or behaviors are concerning. T Team approach is always best. Collaborate with your administrator/ director/pastor to help clarify child’s statement/behavior and to determine if there is a need to report to the authorities. I Initial Report to the authorities maybe needed. The child abuse hotline number is __ phone number of reporting agency __
O Other Resources are available through the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
The Safe Environment Coordinator, __name__
can be reached at __ phone number __.
N Note all observations/statements and actions taken; make a file.
Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Key Steps For Administrators, Directors of Religious Education, Youth Ministry Directors, and Leaders When There is a Sensitive or Concerning Situation If a child discloses clear information of abuse and immediate safety is a concern the following steps should occur: • Assure the child that you will contact people who can help them be safe. • Ask Director/Administrator for help reporting and with your further interaction with the child/family. (Refer to the packet for reporting Child Abuse Neglect and Child Protection Policy book.) • Authorities will be responsible for interviewing the child so keep questions to a minimum. • Ask authorities who will contact the parents and when this will occur. • Assure the child that you will be there for them during the process as much as possible. When a child discloses information that is concerning but not threatening immediate safety, the following steps should be considered: • Always coordinate with your Director/Administrator when dealing with these situations. • Decide when and if the parents should be notified depending on relationship with parents and issues around the concern (a parent is very sick in the hospital and you become aware that the young grade school child is left home alone). • Keep written documentation of your concerns. • Use your best judgment in sharing information with parents regarding your conversation with their child. • Consider approaching parents to offer assistance. • Consider report to the Authorities (refer to reporting packet). There May Be Many Reasons That a Child Approaches You Upset or Discloses Potentially Concerning Information. Below are general guidelines when you find yourself in this type of situation. Open‐ended questions are best. These questions help you enter into the world of a child without coloring it with assumptions. (Child starts crying in class.) Below are examples: • If your tears had words, what would they say? Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors •
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I am here to listen. Tell me more. And then what? I want to understand your hurt. Directed questions when there is more information: (Child states they are upset with their Uncle/Aunt) • Tell me more about your Uncle/Aunt. • What are the things that are upsetting you? Avoid Leading Questions: • Did your Uncle hurt you? • Did your Aunt touch you in your privates? • Did they tell you not to tell? Working with Parents in Sensitive Situations: Talk in a confidential area and when asking questions remember to keep them open ended and non‐accusatory. When immediate safety is a concern and a report has been made: • Seek advice from the authorities (CPS and Police) as to who will contact parents. (You may interfere with the investigation if you contact parents before authorities.) • Always coordinate with your Director/Administrator when dealing with parents in these situations. • If parents become aware of your report, reinforce that you are a mandatory reporter and need to defer to the authorities during the investigation. • It is not your role to determine guilt but to report concerns per the law. When immediate safety is not a concern and a report has NOT been made: • Share the facts in a calm and nonjudgmental manner. • Avoid assumptions. For example: Ted was crying in class, and told you someone is bothering him. He did not define bother or identify the person. (Important not to assume guilt of the parents.) • Assume their support and concern unless they demonstrate otherwise. • Offer supportive resources such as counseling. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Circle of Grace
Code of Conduct for Children and Young People I understand that I am created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. I understand that God is with me even when I am hurting or sad. I can describe/demonstrate the Circle of Grace that God gives me. Because of this: • My actions will be safe and show respect within my Circle of Grace. • I will act safe and show respect towards others’ Circle of Grace. • My words and actions will represent the truth. • I will identify and maintain appropriate and healthy boundaries. • If there is a question that these boundaries are violated I will talk with my parents/trusted adult. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Common Questions of Parents
1) How is this connected to the “Safe Environment” program? Circle of Grace is the safe environment program for children/youth. The goal is to help children/youth understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help when needed through their relationship with trusted adults. 2) What information can this program give my child that they are not getting already? The Circle of Grace Program reinforces in a peer setting that their faith community cares about their safety and wants them to understand how to seek help if they feel unsafe for any reason. It will help them identify potentially unsafe situations and know how to handle them by seeking help from trusted adults. 3) You indicate that this program will provide them with “life skills”, what do you mean by this? It reinforces that they are valued by God and others. It gives them information on boundaries and practical directives of what to do if someone makes them feel uncomfortable when in their Circle of Grace. It is a good foundation for healthy relationships that will help them throughout their lives. 4) Will this program be age appropriate? Yes! The lessons were written for the grades with great attention to stages of child development. 5) How can parents support what is being taught in the program? Parents will receive parent letters as well as take home activities for several of the lessons to do with their children. Talking with your children about the Circle of Grace at home will help your children to understand the importance of the lessons and that the lessons apply everywhere, not just at school. Additionally, you are your child’s most important teacher in the area of relationships. Much of what your child will learn and later imitate about relationships comes from what they learn by your example. Creating an atmosphere where they know that they can talk to you about anything provides a valuable safety net for your child because they know they have you to turn to whenever they have a concern. 6) Is there accountability attached to this program implementation? Yes! There will be an ongoing evaluation of the program to ensure its effectiveness and to incorporate any suggestions that would improve the quality of the program. 7) Will there be resources (people and material) available if I have questions? Yes! There will be a parent packet given to all parents that includes contact numbers. 8) Shouldn’t parents be the ones teaching their children about sexuality? Absolutely! This is NOT a sex education program. Circle of Grace will provide children with a sound understanding of their own value and of God’s care and presence in their lives. It will also help them notice the signals that tell them when they do not feel safe and how to talk to a trusted adult. All of this will be a good foundation for healthy relationships. However, this is not a sexuality education program. Many parents will appreciate that this program will provide a spiritual framework that will allow parent‐child communication about the value of all that they are, including their sexuality. Those conversations are most effective between parent and child. 9) Is this a mandatory program for my child? The United States Catholic Conference of Bishops (USCCB) developed the Charter for Protection of Children and Young People. Article 12 of this document states that each Diocese will have a safe environment program for adults and children/youth. If you have questions or concerns about your child participating in the Circle of Grace Program, please contact your Director of Religious Education, Principal, etc. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Parent Information
The following is general information for parents regarding Circle of Grace, parent‐child communication, safety tips, and child abuse/neglect. Administrators and Directors need to make this information available to parents. This can be done in several ways such as copies, parent meetings, bulletin board, web page, newsletter, etc. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Parenting and Sexuality
“The Basics”
Be attentive and respectful. Your child is a precious child of God. Especially in the area of sexuality, you want your children to appreciate that they are made in the image and likeness of God and that sexuality is a gift. Your respect for them as you hold them, bathe them, care for them will teach them better than words that their bodies are to be respected. They will learn of their value in your care. When they are told about their Circle of Grace in religious education and/or school, it helps them to believe that God is with them and for them because they have already experienced your love and your care. They will grow up knowing that they are meant to respect others and are to expect respect from others. Teaching children about their bodies must happen in an age appropriate way. For young children, the best guideline is to answer their questions as they arise. Try to always connect sexuality and spirituality in simple, short ways. Include God in the answer to help them recognize that sexuality is something special and created by God. For older children, it may be necessary to initiate discussions. More about that below. Know what you really believe and why. It is vital that you think about what you really believe about the place of sexuality in human life and why. Your own sexual history will considerably influence how you feel about sexual expression. If you were sexually active outside of marriage, you may find it difficult to tell your child to wait until marriage. If you waited until marriage, you may fear that your child will find you woefully outdated. Or you may find you are much more able to explain the benefits of waiting until marriage by talking about how that strengthened your own marriage. Anticipate how you will respond if your child asks what you did. Whether or not you answer the question directly depends on you. Some parents who were sexually active before marriage decide at some point, usually when the child is older, to tell the truth. However, if you fear that telling them will not be helpful to them or your relationship with them, it is not necessary to reveal your own history. It is important that you consider how your answer will impact future communication with your child. Be as honest as you can, not only about your actions but also about your feelings, then and now, as well as about the consequences in your own life and relationships. Children are naturally curious about Mom and Dad and how they handled things. Carefully consider how you will explain to your child why sex belongs in marriage. It is not enough to just say that it does. In advance, make a list of reasons why you believe sex belongs in marriage. Helping your children understand why will help them to make this value their own. Think about how you will react to questions about not only where babies come from but questions about oral sex, masturbation, the aunt who is not married with a baby, and many other issues that will arise. These questions are not just possibilities — they are questions every child should talk about at some time with their Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors parent(s). If you ignore their initial questions, you may not get another chance. They will sense your discomfort and go other places with their questions. Talk often but not necessarily long. When something related to sexuality comes up in a conversation, respond appropriately but do not take every opportunity to preach or lecture. If you do, your child will soon “tune” you out. Frequent matter of fact responses that state your values with sensitivity to what they are concerned about will be best. Know their world. Pay attention to the environment your children live in. Watch television with them. If they have access to the Internet, take an interest in what they enjoy. Given the many sexualized messages in media, you will find many opportunities to engage your children in conversation. Listen to their music with them and talk with them about what they enjoy. When you are in the car, allow them to tune the radio and just listen. Ask them to explain songs to you, objectionable ones or wonderful ones. Something about talking to Mom or Dad about the music often teaches young people a great deal. It gives them a chance to talk about what they believe and it gives you a chance to hear it. Resist the impulse to launch into a lecture. Ask open‐ended questions like: What do you like about this song/movie/video? Tell me the story of the song. What do you think of the message of the song/movie/video? How do you think that song makes women/men feel? Take time when they want to talk. Children often ask questions or make comments at very inopportune times. If you are in a public place, tell your child you will talk later when you are alone – and do so at the earliest opportunity. If you are not in a public place, make it a priority to respond as soon as possible, preferably when they ask, because that is when they are most interested in your answer. If you feel you don’t know how to answer, explain what you know and assure them you will think more about it and talk more later. And do it! If you fail to come back and fully respond, they will think you are uncomfortable and will be less likely to ask you again. Take time to celebrate transitions with special times spent together. Growing up with the accompanying body changes is usually a time of uncertainty and confusion for children. Having a celebration says, “This is a good and wonderful thing.” Be honest about your own struggles, fears, and discomforts when you were going through the same transitions. Children usually like to know what it was like for you to go through the same things. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Use correct terminology even when it makes you a little uncomfortable. Sometimes, your parents may not have used correct terminology and therefore using it is uncomfortable for you. Break the cycle by using the appropriate language that is correct and respectful of the body as created by God. Remember that God created all the amazing parts of your beautiful child and they are simply learning about God’s creation. This teaches them to respectfully name their body and gives you an opportunity to teach them about respecting their Circle of Grace. Be sure you explain any terms that are unclear. If you show discomfort, you are sending them a negative message about their bodies that will not lead them to respect and reverence themselves and others. What is the real question? Sometimes children ask a question to “test the water”. But there is a bigger question they really want to know about that they either are hesitant to ask or cannot figure out how to say. Gently listening and drawing them into a conversation is important. Respond to what they ask, always watching for clues that they need more information or reassurance. They need to know that it is OK to ask you anything. You should be their “expert” even if you don’t feel like one. Otherwise, they will look for their answers some place else. Talk about risk behaviors. Don’t wait too long to discuss risk behaviors like sexually transmitted diseases, broken hearts, pregnancy, and the myriad consequences that result from early sexual activity. Many parents are unaware how very early children are learning about sexuality from their peers and the media. But much of their information is inaccurate and certainly not value‐based. Talking with your child about these things will not make them more likely to be sexually active. In fact, studies show that children whose parents talk openly with them and communicate their values are less likely to be sexually active. Tell stories. Recounting stories is a good way to communicate. Use the stories of friends, acquaintances, a story from the news, even your own, if you are comfortable doing so. You can change the details and names if you are concerned about them knowing who it is. A good story communicates in very effective ways. And we all remember stories. Resist too much explanation after you have talked about the values you are trying to communicate. In your own life, you have been touched often by others who have suffered by their sexual choices. Helping your children to understand that sex outside of marriage results in painful consequences is important. Talk about humans. When you talk about human sexuality, talk about human beings. As obvious as this may seem, countless stories exist about parents who tried to explain the “birds and the bees” by talking about birds and bees. Children need to learn about their bodies and those Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors of the opposite sex by talking with you about human bodies. When correct language is used, you are honoring yourselves and your bodies as created by God. Of course, all such conversations must happen in the context of the child’s age and level of understanding. However, consider that children often have access to information about sexuality long before you did at their same age. Set reasonable limits. Children and teens need appropriate limits and boundaries. These help them to know they are cared for. It is appropriate to know where your child is and to expect that they communicate with you if plans change. They should be faithful to the time they agreed to return and open and honest about their activities. Discuss together why you are establishing the limit, rule, etc. Always make their safety and well‐being the true priority and communicate that to them. Help them to see that limits will help them remember who they are and that they are loved. Don’t interrogate. As children grow, the respect between parent and child must also grow. Balancing appropriate boundaries and trust in not simple. However, if a child feels they are not trusted, they will not be trustworthy. Asking detailed questions of an adolescent after every outing says, “I’m not sure I trust you so I have to check up on you.” That is not to say that an interested inquiry like “Was the movie good?” is inappropriate. Children should know that their parents care about them and their activities. But interrogation on a regular basis does not lead to an increase in the trust in the relationship. Tell your children that the trust between you is very special and that you hope they appreciate that too. If your child violates your trust, do not hesitate to let them know that you are very disappointed and that it will take some time to rebuild that trust. Additional boundaries (a more restrictive curfew, greater supervision, or other rules) may be appropriate until you are again confident that they can be trusted. This is all part of helping children understand that trust in relationships is fragile and important. It will help to prepare them to value trust in adulthood. Connect sexuality and spirituality. Grow in your own understanding of the relationship between sexuality and spirituality. Help your children to understand sexuality is a basic component of personality in and through which each of us relates to God, self, and others. It is a wonderful gift of God which enables each of us, through our bodies, to lovingly and respectfully care for one another. As your children grow in appreciation of and respect for their bodies and the bodies of others, help them to understand why genital activity belongs in marriage. Help them to see that waiting until marriage will lead to self‐respect, commitment, and intimacy — not to mention a better sexual relationship in marriage. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Respect their privacy. Respect your child’s desire for some privacy, especially as they get older. That does not mean that you never go in their room, put their clothes away, or look in a drawer for a something. What is means is you do not intentionally “snoop” around. You do not routinely rummage through drawers, closets, etc. You demonstrate trust, treating them as you would have liked to be treated at their age. Tell the truth. Always tell the truth. Don’t exaggerate to frighten them into or away from certain behaviors. If you are unsure how much to say, particularly to a very young child, respond to only the question they have asked. If they want more information and you have taken time to honestly respond, they will continue to ask about what they really want to know. On the other hand, by keeping your first response simple, you may have satisfied their curiosity for now and they may later — days, months, or years — return for more information. Do not hesitate to honestly explain the consequences of sex outside of marriage. While very young children may not need detailed information, certainly by junior high, young people need to hear from their parents about the negative consequences of pre‐
marital sexual activity. Do not expect that they are receiving accurate information elsewhere about sexually transmitted disease, emotional harm, and pregnancy. Educate yourself and them. Their future happiness and choices depend on it. Copyright © 2006 by Formation and Education in Sexuality, Archdiocese of Omaha, 3218 N. 60th Street, Omaha, NE 68104, (402) 556‐8219 [email protected] All rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or utilized in any form without the written permission of the copyright owner. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Children are the living letters
we send into a time
we will never see…
Neal Postman
Touch that makes a child feel uncomfortable needs to be disclosed to a trusted adult. When someone touches a child in private areas, shows them sexual pictures, uses sexual language, or asks a child to touch them in private areas of their body – it is a violation against the child. Suspected child abuse always needs to be reported to the authorities. Developmental Dimensions and Stages
We have learned over the past several decades about how we develop. Human beings are complex, multi‐dimensional creatures. Each person has his or her own unique journey toward God. There are six dimensions of development that are identifiable and seem to be reflected in some way in all of us. • Physical: Who we are as gendered persons. • Cognitive: Our beliefs, knowledge, and perceptions. • Emotional: Our feelings and how those feelings affect our relationships. • Social: How we relate to others and our capacity to share ourselves. • Moral: What we value and how we make decisions based on our beliefs. • Spiritual: Recognizing and acknowledging the presence of God in our relationships. Psychosexual development is our personal journey toward integration as embodied human persons. It is a process of growth that embraces all aspects of our human reality. There are five stages used to describe our journey: • Infancy: Children learn about their world primarily through touch. • Toddler: Children are totally delighted in their bodies and begin to recognize gender differences. • Pre‐school to Puberty: Children develop gender identity and a sense of privacy. • Adolescence: Adolescents explore who they are in and through relationships as their bodies mature toward adulthood. • Adulthood: Adults integrate self‐knowledge, empathy, sensitivity, trust equality, spontaneity, and appropriate self‐disclosure into their lives. “Being in the image of God, the human individual possesses the dignity of a person, who is not just something, but someone.” Catechism of the Catholic Church, Second Edition, 1997
Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Tips for Parents
Even “Nice” People Sometimes Do Mean Things. Abusers are experts at looking friendly, nice, safe, kind, generous, and loving. A child is vulnerable when the other person has more: age (older), size (bigger), knowledge, resources, status, and/or power. REMEMBER: Up to 30% of abusers/offenders are under the age of 18. Abusers use manipulative behaviors to gain control: flattery, bribery, jealousy, intimidation, and anger. Abusers manipulate parents along with children. Pay Close Attention To Who Is Around Your Children.
Parents should know where their children are and whom they are with. Children should know how to contact their parents. Use the buddy system: Take a buddy or don’t go. Refuse to leave your children with someone you don’t trust. No job or event is worth your child’s safety. Listen To What Your Children Say. Encourage communication by taking seriously what your children say. Increase your child’s vocabulary by helping them name feelings. Back up your child’s right to say “NO.” Role Play: A child who never says “no” to a parent will never say “no” to another adult. Give children permission to yell for help. Take A Second Look At Potential Danger. Be cautious on the Internet, experts recommend computer use be monitored regularly. Be selective when sharing personal information: including last name, telephone numbers, contact information, schools, activity schedules and occasions when someone is home alone. Talk about worse case scenarios and possible solutions to uncomfortable situations. Don’t follow anyone who takes your bicycle, book bag or purse – report theft instead. Watch out for children who are alone often. Trust Your Instincts. Listen to your gut feelings, if you have doubts listen to them. Your body sometimes knows what your head hasn’t yet figured out. Recognize Change In Your Child’s Behavior. Change in behavior is a signal of change in your child’s life. Tell your children: “I will always love you.” Model Healthy Boundaries And Limit‐Setting Behavior. Be a good example. Circle of Grace – Administrator/Directors Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect:
Signs and Symptoms
Author(s): Child Welfare Information Gateway
Year Published: 2006
The first step in helping abused or neglected children is learning to recognize the signs of child abuse and neglect. The presence of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring in a family; however, when these signs appear repeatedly or in combination you should take a closer look at the situation and consider the possibility of child abuse. If you do suspect a child is being harmed, reporting your suspicions may protect the child and get help for the family. Contact your local child protective services agency or police department. For more information about where and how to file a report, call the Childhelp USA® National Child Abuse Hotline (1.800.4.A.CHILD). Recognizing Child Abuse The following signs may signal the presence of child abuse or neglect. The Child: •
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Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance. Has not received help for physical or medical problems brought to the parentsʹ attention. Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes. Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen. Lacks adult supervision. Is overly compliant, passive, or withdrawn. Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home. The Parent: •
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Shows little concern for the child. Denies the existence of — or blames the child for — the childʹs problems in school or at home. Asks teachers or other caretakers to use harsh physical discipline if the child misbehaves. Sees the child as entirely bad, worthless, or burdensome. Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve. Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs. The Parent and Child: •
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Rarely touch or look at each other. Consider their relationship entirely negative. State that they do not like each other. Types of Abuse The following are some signs often associated with particular types of child abuse and neglect: physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse. It is important to note, however, these types of abuse are more typically found in combination than alone. A physically abused child, for example, is often emotionally abused as well, and a sexually abused child also may be neglected. Signs of Physical Abuse Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the child: •
Has unexplained burns, bites, bruises, broken bones, or black eyes. •
Has fading bruises or other marks noticeable after an absence from school. •
Seems frightened of the parents and protests or cries when it is time to go home. •
Shrinks at the approach of adults. •
Reports injury by a parent or another adult caregiver. Consider the possibility of physical abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver: •
Offers conflicting, unconvincing, or no explanation for the childʹs injury. •
Describes the child as “evil,” or in some other very negative way. •
Uses harsh physical discipline with the child. •
Has a history of abuse as a child. Signs of Neglect Consider the possibility of neglect when the child: •
Is frequently absent from school. •
Begs or steals food or money. •
Lacks needed medical or dental care, immunizations, or glasses. •
Is consistently dirty and has severe body odor. •
Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather. •
Abuses alcohol or other drugs. •
States that there is no one at home to provide care. Consider the possibility of neglect when the parent or other adult caregiver: •
Appears to be indifferent to the child. •
Seems apathetic or depressed. •
Behaves irrationally or in a bizarre manner. •
Is abusing alcohol or other drugs. Signs of Sexual Abuse Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the child: •
Has difficulty walking or sitting. •
Suddenly refuses to change for gym or to participate in physical activities. •
Reports nightmares or bed wetting. •
Experiences a sudden change in appetite. •
Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior. •
Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14. •
Runs away. •
Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver. Consider the possibility of sexual abuse when the parent or other adult caregiver: •
Is unduly protective of the child or severely limits the childʹs contact with other children, especially of the opposite sex. •
Is secretive and isolated. •
Is jealous or controlling with family members. Signs of Emotional Maltreatment Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the child: •
Shows extremes in behavior such as overly compliant or demanding behavior, extreme passivity, or aggression. •
Is either inappropriately adult (parenting other children, for example) or inappropriately infantile (frequently rocking or head‐banging, for example). •
Is delayed in physical or emotional development. •
Has attempted suicide. •
Reports a lack of attachment to the parent. Consider the possibility of emotional maltreatment when the parent or other adult caregiver: •
Constantly blames, belittles, or berates the child. •
Is unconcerned about the child and refuses to consider offers of help for the childʹs problems. •
Overtly rejects the child. Resources
Identifying Child Abuse and Neglect www.childwelfare.gov/can/identifying Resources and information from the Child Welfare Information Gateway website about signs and symptoms of child maltreatment, including training resources. Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect
www.childwelfare.gov/preventing Resources and information from the Child Welfare Information Gateway website. This factsheet was adapted, with permission, from Recognizing Child Abuse: What Parents Should Know. Prevent Child Abuse America © 2003. This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway. http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/ ‐ skipfooter Updated on June 21, 2006 Circle of Grace
Resources for Leaders and Parents Websites National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect, 800‐FYI‐3366 http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov United States Catholic Conference, Office of Child and Youth Protection www.usccb.org/ocyp/index.shtml Parents United www.lfsneb.org/parentsunited ProtectKids.com: Protecting Children in Cyberspace www.ProtectKids.com Scripture Text New American Bible with Revised New Testament and Revised Psalms © 1991, 1986, 1970, Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Washington, D.C. Books The Theology of the Body: Human Love in the Divine Plan, John Paul II, Pauline Books and Media, 1997. The Holy Longing, Ronald Rolheiser, Doubleday, 1999. Unmasking Sexual Con Games, 3rd Edition, Kathleen M. McGee and Laura J. Buddenberg, Boys Town Press, 2003. Church Documents Educational Guidance in Human Love: Outlines for Sex Education Rome 1983. Human Sexuality: A Catholic Perspective for Education and Lifelong Learning, United States Catholic Conference, 1990. The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality: Guidelines for Education Within the Family, Pontifical Council for the Family, 1996. Promise to Protect – Pledge to Heal: Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People, United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2003. Consultation ¾ Safe Environment Coordinator: _________________________________________________________
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¾ __ Other resources ______________________________________
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Other ¾ Girls and Boys Town Hotline 800‐448‐3000 ¾ State Child Protective Service __ phone number __
Circle of Grace
Safe Environment Training Kindergarten – Lesson Plan
Philosophy
The Catholic Church teaches that God has created each of us as unique and special. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created “male and female in God’s image” and that God saw this as “very good.” In that goodness, we are meant to respect ourselves and everyone else as persons created and loved by God. Adults assist children to recognize God’s love by helping them to understand that each of us lives and moves in a Circle of Grace. You can imagine your own Circle of Grace by putting your arms above your head then circle down in front of your body including side to side. This circle, front to back, holds who you are in your body and through your senses. It holds your very essence in mind, heart, soul, and sexuality. Why is it important to help our children understand the Circle of Grace?
God intends our relationships in life to be experiences of divine love. Respectful, nurturing, loving relationships increase our understanding of our own value and help us to love others. It is never too early to help children understand how very special they are and how relationships in life are called to be sacred. Understanding this can help them to protect the special person they are and to be respectful of others. Adults, as they strive to provide a safe and protective environment, hold the responsibility to help children understand and respect their own dignity and that of others. A truly safe and protective environment is one where children recognize when they are safe or unsafe and know how to bring their concerns, fears, and uncertainties to the trusted adults in their lives. How is the Circle of Grace Program different from other protection programs?
According to research, one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused by age eighteen.1 Many protection programs focus on “stranger danger,” however, up to ninety percent of the time the perpetrator of abuse is known to the child such as a relative or family friend. Circle of Grace goes beyond just protection by helping children understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults. Goal of the Circle of Grace Program - Grades K-12
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Kindergarten Leader Guidelines
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A Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, or catechist who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. •
Every leader should read the Philosophy and Goals to better understand and prepare to teach the Circle of Grace. •
The time frame may vary depending on size of class, age of children, amount of discussion, etc. •
Vocabularies with definitions are intended for the leader. The explanation of vocabulary should be integrated within the context of the lessons to assist the children in their understanding of the Circle of Grace Program. The depth of the children’s understanding will depend upon their age and developmental stage. A master vocabulary list of the Circle of Grace Program is included in all lesson plans. The pertinent vocabulary is listed in each lesson. •
The Red Light, Green Light, Activity may be adapted to a Happy, Neutral, and Sad Face Activity if the leader believes the children have not been exposed to a stoplight. •
If possible it is always “best practice” to have two adults in the room during the lesson due to the sensitive nature of the material. •
There should be no more than two to three weeks between the last two lessons. Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our children and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. •
Your Administrator or Religious Education Director will be sending a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent‐education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. •
Evaluations for each grade are to be completed and returned to the School Administrator or the Director of Religious Education/Formation. The evaluations will be used to complete the Summary Evaluation that is sent to the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
for ongoing improvement of the program and for the audit records. Circle of Grace ‐ Kindergarten: Leader Guidelines Page 2 Circle of Grace Vocabulary
Words introduced in Kindergarten Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Words Introduced in First Grade Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. Words Introduced in Second Grade No new words. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Vocabulary Page 3
Words Introduced in Third Grade Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary. Words Introduced in Fourth Grade Blog: An online journal. Personal stories or thoughts can be posted as in a personal journal. This is a public journal that anyone can access. Chat Room: The name given to a place or page in a website or online service where people can chat with each other by typing messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are in the chat room. Flaming: Sending a deliberately confrontational message to others on the Internet. Inappropriate Material: Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Instant messaging (IM): Technology similar to that of chat rooms which notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. Netiquette: Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. Personal Contact Information: Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located in the physical world, such as a telephone number or an address. Phishing: An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence from e‐commerce sites. The fake messages generally link to websites that are similarly faked to look like the sites of the respected companies. On the sites you are directed to enter your personal information for authentication or confirmation purposes. The information, when submitted, goes to the thieves, not to the “spoofed” company. Predator: Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with the intent to do harm. Words Introduced in Fifth Grade Media: Mass communication formats (music, TV, magazines, movies, videos, Internet, computer games, books, advertisements, news, newspapers, radio, etc.) which provide education, information, entertainment, and advertising. Inappropriate Media: Images or words, spoken or written, that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Vocabulary Page 4
Words Introduced in Sixth Grade Admiration: A feeling of high regard or sense of awe. Dream: A hope or aspiration which we imagine will become real. Empathy: The ability to understand the feelings of another person. Healthy: That which is sound and vigorous in mind, body, and spirit. Relationship: A connection with God or others. Response: Something said or done as a reaction or answer. Talent: A special God‐given ability or gift. Value: A principle standard or quality considered desirable. Violation: A break or infringement of another person’s rights. Words Introduced in Seventh Grade Disrespect: Treating with rudeness, insult, or lack of respect. Words Introduced in Eighth Grade Conscience: The gift from God that helps me to know the difference between right and wrong. Modesty: The virtue that respects, honors, and protects privacy: the quality of avoiding extremes of emotion, action, dress, and language. Modesty respects my boundaries and the boundaries of others. Morality: The way we put our beliefs into action for good. Sexuality: Everything that makes us female or male. This includes feelings, attitudes, values, relationships, and ideas. Words Introduced in Ninth Grade2 Accusations: Accusing another person of actions or behaviors that cannot be substantiated. Many times the accusations are exaggerated and spoken publicly. Anger: Using angry words or physical harm to get something from someone else. Bribery: Giving to get. The gift may be tangible (flowers, jewelry, dinner) or intangible (compliment, attention, date). Flattery: Insincere, exaggerated, and sometimes sexual comments spoken with the intention of getting something in return. Insecurity: Bringing attention to another person’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses or using one’s own weakness to manipulate. Adapted from Unmasking Sexual Con Games: Leaders Guide by Kathleen M. McGee and Laura J. Buddenberg, Boys Town Press, 2003, used with permission. 2
Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Vocabulary Page 5
Intimidation: Using words or actions to threaten, scare, or overpower another person. Intimidation may also include bringing public attention to another person’s weaknesses. Jealousy: Being possessive of another person’s time, property, or body. Status: Using one’s age, profession, popularity, position, or power to manipulate. Words Introduced in Tenth Grade Circle of Virtue: Our response to the invitation of God’s grace by cultivating goodness and virtue in our lives. Words Introduced in Eleventh Grade Moral Responsibility: As we grow into mature adults, we must take greater responsibility for protecting ourselves and others from violations of God’s plan for our spiritual, sexual, and moral lives. Freely Chosen Violations: Every person is responsible for those violations they freely choose and know are wrong. (We should never blame or accuse persons to the extent that they are victims of abuse and are manipulated in unequal relationships.) Victim: A person who has suffered injury/harm (physical or emotional) by forces beyond his or her control and not of his or her personal responsibility. Survivor: A person who not only lives through but thrives despite abuse, affliction, or adversity. Adaptations3: Lust: Convincing a victim that it is normal to have intense sexual desire. Coercive Properties: Using words that threaten or intimidate a victim. Possessiveness: Treating a victim like an object. Repetitiveness: Constantly using the same words to gain a victim’s trust. Control: Words used to reinforce position as the “boss”. Emotional Groomer4: A person who manipulates another’s emotions to skillfully gain control of that person. Language Cons5: Words and phrases or “lines” that groomers use to trick and manipulate their targets. Ibid. McGee, Kathleen M. and Laura J. Buddenberg Unmasking Sexual Con Games 3rd Edition A Teen’s guide to Avoiding Emotional Grooming and Dating Violence (Boys Town NE: Boys Town Press, 2003), used with permission. 5 Ibid. 3
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Boundaries6: Healthy physical and emotional distance between persons. Set limits in relationships. Boundaries define where you end and where someone else begins and keeps you safe in your Circle of Grace. Same‐Gender Friendships7: Learning and practicing what it means to be a genuine friend to people of the same gender. Opposite‐Gender Friendships8: Learning and practicing how to have fun with and appreciate the other gender. Dating Steps:9 Friendly Dating: Includes group dating and single dating. The purpose is to get to know many different people. Helps to shape your idea of whom you might want to date seriously. It is wise to go no further than holding hands or hugging. Steady Friendly Dating: Dating one person exclusively while maintaining appropriate emotional and sexual boundaries. Goes no further than hugging or kissing. Serious Steady Dating: Is this the spouse for me? Begin examining relationship in light of marriage. Maintains same boundaries as listed above. Engagement: Couple prepares for life‐long, committed, bonded relationship. Marriage: Bonding on all levels – emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. Words Introduced in Twelfth Grade No new words. Ibid. Ibid. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid. 6
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Lesson 1
Sometimes children reveal personal information or details about incidents that, in order to respect confidentiality, need to be handled outside of the group environment. If this happens, tell the child, “Thank you for sharing that, ________. That sounds really important. I will talk to you about that later (at the end of class, at the break, as soon as humanly possible, etc.).” When this happens, be sure you talk to the child at your first opportunity and alert the administration. Remember that you are the responsible reporter in cases of suspected abuse.
This lesson compliments the following Catholic teachings: •
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will come to understand and/or describe the concept of a Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Demonstrate his/her own Circle of Grace. 2. Describe what makes a person’s Circle of Grace a holy space. 3. Identify the behaviors appropriate for the Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1.
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Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 6. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 7. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 1 Page 8
Materials Needed 1.
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Circle of Grace logo (see the end of Kindergarten lessons) Whiteboard or chalkboard Chart paper or flip chart paper to make a “happy/sad face chart” Circle of Grace logo coloring page/black and white version (see the end of Kindergarten lessons) 5. (Optional) Happy Face coloring page (see the end of Kindergarten lessons) 6. Markers or crayons (optional) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Lesson Development Getting Started 1. Today we are going to learn about God’s love for us. (Show children the Circle of Grace Symbol.) 2. This is a symbol for our Circle of Grace. It reminds us that God loves us and His love is always around us. Everyone has a Circle of Grace. Activity ‐ Circle of Grace 1. Where is our Circle of Grace and where are other people’s Circles of Grace? 2. Ask children to stand with enough room around them to fully extend their arms without touching each other. 3. Give the following directions while modeling the desired actions: a. Reach with both arms as high as you can over your head. b. Circle your arms down on each side and bend down until you reach all the way under your feet. c. As you stand back up again, turn all the way around once as you raise your arms back over your head. 4. This is the Circle of Grace that you live in. 5. Repeat steps a, b, and c to reinforce physical dimensions of Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 1 Page 9
Discussion 1. Now, we will talk about why it is important that we know about our Circle of Grace. 2. Jesus told us that he would always love us and always be with us. We are always in a special, holy place because God loves us. That place is our Circle of Grace. This is the place the Holy Spirit is with us and within us. 3. If we can remember that we are in a Circle of Grace, with God and surrounded by God’s love, we will remember to behave with the respect for ourselves and for others that is called for when we are in a holy place. Optional Activity ‐ Color page Color the Circle of Grace coloring page ‐ black and white version. Leader may choose to use color pages from each Optional Activity to form a Circle of Grace Color Book for the children. Activity ‐ Happy and Sad Face Chart 1. Make a chart with two columns on the poster paper/flip chart paper. Label one with a happy face and one with a sad face. 2. What are some nice things that people do or say? What are some hurtful things that people do or say? 3. Allow a few responses. List on the board in the appropriate column. 4. Point out that words and behaviors listed in the happy face column are those that respect our Circle of Grace. The words and behaviors in the sad face column are those that do not belong in anyone’s Circle of Grace. 5. Keep happy and sad face chart posted for future reference. Optional Activity ‐ Color page Color the Happy Face coloring page. Leader may choose to use color pages from each Optional Activity to form a Circle of Grace Color Book for the children. Review 1. Review the Circle of Grace Movement. Ask children to stand with enough room around them to fully extend their arms without touching each other. 2. Give the following directions while modeling the desired actions: a. Reach with both arms as high as you can over your head. b. Circle your arms down on each side and bend down until you reach all the way under your feet. c. As you stand back up again, turn all the way around once as you raise your arms back over your head. 3. This is the Circle of Grace that you live in. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 1 Page 10
Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 1 Page 11
Lesson 2: The Stoplight
Feelings, Touch, and Secrets
Sometimes children reveal personal information or details about incidents that, in order to respect confidentiality, need to be handled outside of the group environment. If this happens, tell the child, “Thank you for sharing that, ________. That sounds really important. I will talk to you about that later (at the end of class, at the break, as soon as humanly possible, etc.).” When this happens, be sure you talk to the child at your first opportunity and alert the administration. Remember that you are the responsible reporter in cases of suspected abuse. This lesson compliments the following Catholic teachings: •
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will be better able to identify safe and unsafe situations. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. 2. Learn how to identify when someone comes into their Circle of Grace. 3. Be able to recognize safe and unsafe situations in a person’s Circle of Grace. 4. Distinguish between safe and unsafe secrets in a person’s Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 2. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 3. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. 4. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. 5. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 12
6. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 7. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. 8. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 9. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 10. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. 11. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Materials Needed 1. Large picture of a stoplight with all three colors visible ‐ red, yellow, and green (see the end of the Kindergarten lessons) 2. One set of red, yellow, and green circle cards per child, the backside of each colored card should be white and the front side red, yellow, or green 3. Feeling Faces Chart (see the end of the Kindergarten lessons) 4. Completed Happy Face and Sad Face chart from Lesson 1 5. Color Pages (optional) 6. Markers or crayons (optional) 7. The Stoplight Home Activity Sheet for Parents (see the end of the Kindergarten lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There will be children in every group who may have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. We want our children to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 13
Review 1. Ask children to stand and demonstrate their Circle of Grace as learned in previous lesson. 2. Point to Happy Face and Sad Face chart from Lesson 1. Ask children the following: a. What did we write on this chart? (Answer: words and actions we like and don’t like from others.) b. What were some of the words and actions you liked? Why? c. What were some you did not like? Why? Today we are going to continue talking about words and actions that we like and don’t like in our Circle of Grace. We will also learn a new way to identify what doesn’t belong in our Circle of Grace. Discussion 1. Show a large picture of a stoplight. 2. Discuss the meaning or purpose of a stoplight by asking: a. Why do we have stoplights? Pause for answers. The reason we have stoplights is to protect people and keep them safe. b. What does each color of the stoplight mean? (STOP, BE CAREFUL, and GO AHEAD.) Lesson Development Introduction The use of the word “signal” (instead of “light”) is intentional in order to point to the fact that a “signal” can be both internal and external. A “stop light”, however, is only an external reality. Towns and cities have stoplights which are signals to keep people safe and protected. God has given each of us our own kind of signal to keep us safe and protected. Sometimes these signals come from other people like our parents or teachers. Sometimes these signals are called feelings and are one of the main ways the Holy Spirit helps to guide us. Most of the time you know what is safe and good to allow in your Circle of Grace. Sometimes, though, you need others who respect your Circle of Grace to help you know what is safe and what is not. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 14
Discussion 1. Let’s think of the signals God gives us to help keep us safe and protected like the three colors of a stoplight: green, red, and yellow. 2. Green signal ‐ Means GO AHEAD. Some things are definitely safe. Some examples are telling the truth, being kind and respectful, helping others, and caring about others. You are also safe when others respect your body and feelings. Could you name some other things that would always be safe to do or let someone else do with you? (Leader points out that everything written on the happy face column of the poster would be a green signal word or action.) 3. Red Signal ‐ Means STOP. Some things are unsafe and always mean trouble. Some examples are being mean or bullying, lying, hitting, fighting, etc. Can you help me think of other things that are never good to do or let someone do to you? (Leader points out that everything written on the sad face column of the poster would be a red signal word or action.) When this happens, tell someone that you trust, like your mom, dad, leader, or other trusted adult. 4. Yellow Signal ‐ Means BE CAREFUL. Sometimes you can’t tell if a situation is safe or unsafe. You might feel confused or unsure about it. These are like a yellow signal. It may seem like just a funny feeling in your heart or tummy. When this happens, tell someone that you trust, like your mom, dad, leader, or other trusted adult. Activity ‐ Red Light, Green Light The purpose of this activity is to help children learn how to identify dangerous and unsafe situations, feelings, and touch, but not to scare or shame them. Make sure to give clear and concise reasons why a situation falls into the green or yellow/red signal category. This is because for children, it may be sometimes hard to distinguish between red and yellow situations. The children need to be aware of their internal process of conflicting feelings, which they might be experiencing. Children will learn that when possible they should always talk to a trusted adult before acting in a Red or Yellow Situation. Remind children that there are always adults available to listen and talk. Children only need to ask a trusted adult for the time to talk. 1. Give each child a set of red, green, and yellow cards. 2. Suggested instructions: • In a moment, I’m going to describe some situations. • Please listen very carefully. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 15
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At the end of each, I’m going to ask you if you think the situation describes a red signal, a yellow signal, or a green signal. I’ll then ask you each to hold up the color card that you think best fits the situation. Then we’ll talk about each situation. 3. Read each situation aloud. Make sure to vary the order in which the green, red, and yellow situations are read. 4. After reading a situation, give children a moment to think and then ask them to hold up a red, green, or yellow card. Some situations, though clearly red to adults, may be unclear (yellow) from a child’s perspective. This activity will help children identify their own confusing feelings about these situations and to understand that they should talk to a trusted adult. Allow time for children to discuss their feelings connected with these situations. (Refer to Feeling Faces chart as needed at the end of lesson plan.) a. GREEN SITUATIONS ¾ Your mom or dad gives you a hug when you are sad (loved, comforted). ¾ You are at the doctor and your mom is with you. The doctor checks your body to make sure it is healthy (safe, secure, embarrassed). ¾ Your grandmother/grandfather wipes your tears when you fall down and hurt yourself (loved, comforted, safe). ¾ You tell the leader when you accidentally break something in your classroom (embarrassed, sorry, guilty, happy that you told). b. YELLOW/RED SITUATIONS (Always talk to a trusted adult.) ¾ You are walking home from school and someone you don’t know well offers to give you a ride home (cautious, scared). ¾ Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you not to watch (worried, afraid of getting into trouble). ¾ You push someone out of line so you can be first (mad, selfish). ¾ You are playing at the neighborhood park. A man/woman who has said, “Hi,” to you a few times comes up and asks if you can help find his/her lost puppy (sad, anxious). ¾ Your friend’s big brother/sister wants you to do something you don’t want to do (pressured, confused). ¾ An older relative wants to kiss or hug you, but you don’t like it because he or she smells funny (confused, impolite, “icky”, etc.). Continue by saying: “Sometimes secrets can even give us a funny feeling in our heart or tummy. A safe secret is one that does not hurt others or me. A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. A good way to decide if a secret is safe or unsafe is to ask ourselves, ‘Can this secret hurt me or someone else?’” Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 16
I am going to read some more situations that have a secret. • Please listen very carefully. • At the end of each, I’m going to ask you if you think the situation calls for a red signal, a yellow signal, or a green signal. I’ll then ask you each to hold up the color card that you think best fits the situation. • Then we’ll talk about each situation. GREEN ¾ Your dad is planning a surprise birthday party for your mom (happiness, excitement, anticipation). ¾ Your parents plan to get a puppy but don’t tell you until they bring it home (surprised, loved). RED/YELLOW (Always talk to a trusted adult.) ¾ Your friend throws a ball and it accidentally breaks the neighbor’s window. The friend asks you not to tell (guilty, afraid of punishment). ¾ An adult asks you to go with him without asking permission from your parents. He/she tells you that your parents won’t care if you go with him/her, but “Don’t tell your parents about our visit. They won’t understand,” (unsure, funny feeling in your tummy or heart, curious). ¾ Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe ‐ even if the person says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me,” (funny feeling in your tummy, confused, etc.). ¾ Someone tells you that you will get into trouble if you tell the secret to your mom and/or dad (leader, or other) (afraid of punishment). 5. After each situation is read, ask a few volunteers to explain why they chose the color card they did. Also, allow time for children to discuss their feelings connected to each situation. 6. If children are unsure, wrong, or you are seeing more than one color card held up for a given situation, stop and ask the following questions: ¾ What do you think your mom or dad, leader, or pastor would say about this situation? ¾ Would they think it is a red, green, or yellow signal? Why? ¾ How do we know if something is a red, green, or yellow signal situation? Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 17
Wrapping Up 1. Send Home Activity Sheet for Parents. 2. Review these definitions of feelings with the children. a. They are not right or wrong, good or bad. b. They may be God’s signals about what is going on in our lives. 3. We have talked about these situations as green, red, and yellow to help children know how to respond and how to recognize their feelings as a way of deeper listening. 4. In Lesson 3, they will learn that sometimes they need to talk to trusted adults to help them understand the meaning of these signals. Optional Activity – Color page Color the Stoplight Color Page. Leader may choose to use color pages from each Optional Activity to form a Circle of Grace Color Book for the children. Closing Prayer 1. Review the Circle of Grace Movement. Ask children to stand with enough room around them to fully extend their arms without touching each other. 2. Give the following directions while modeling the desired actions: a. Reach with both arms as high as you can over your head. b. Circle your arms down on each side and bend down until you reach all the way under your feet. c. As you stand back up again, turn all the way around once as you raise your arms back over your head. 3. Tell the children, “This is the Circle of Grace that you live in.” Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 18
Lesson 3
Safety Plan
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will demonstrate how to take action if boundaries are threatened or violated. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. 2. Understand that God wants them to do what they can to take care of themselves. 3. Name three trusted adults (in addition to their parents) whom they could seek out for help. 4. Learn and role‐play the skill of “How to Ask for Help”. Vocabulary 1. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 2. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Materials Needed 1. Whiteboard or chalkboard 2. Construction or coloring paper for each child 3. Markers or crayons for each child Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 3 Page 19
4. Create one large Skill Poster of “How to Ask for Help” with following steps (see the end of the Kindergarten lessons for a sample): a. Look at the person. b. Say, “I need to tell you something important.” c. Clearly describe the problem. d. Thank the person for helping you. 5. Color Pages (optional) 6. The Trusted Adult: Home Activity Sheet for Parents (see the end of Kindergarten lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls the group by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Review Vocabulary if needed 1. Children of God: All people. We are all made by and loved by God. 2. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 3. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 4. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. 5. Holy: Special because of a connection with God who loves me always. 6. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 7. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 8. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and others. 9. Safe Touch: Touch that respects me and others. 10. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 11. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 12. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. 13. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 14. Talent: a special God‐given ability or gift. 15. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 3 Page 20
16. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 17. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. 18. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Getting Started Review 1. Show children the Circle of Grace Symbol. 2. Tell the children, “This is a symbol for our Circle of Grace. It reminds us that God loves us and His love is always around us. Everyone has a Circle of Grace.” 3. Show a large picture of a stoplight (see the end of Kindergarten lessons). 4. Review the meaning or purpose of a stoplight by asking: • Why do we have stoplights? • What does each color of the stoplight mean? (STOP, BE CAREFUL, and GO AHEAD.) 5. The reason we have stoplights is to protect people and keep them safe. Sometimes people say or do things that make us feel funny in our heart or tummy. That funny feeling tells us that we need to get help from a trusted adult. The Holy Spirit is guiding us to help keep us safe. Lesson Development Introduction 1. Today we are going to learn what to do if someone comes into your Circle of Grace without your permission or does something that makes you feel unsafe. 2. Let’s review the vocabulary words that we’ve learned in the past few lessons. 3. Write “Trusted Adult” on the board. 4. Today, our focus is on a term that you have heard before ‐ “Trusted Adult”. 5. Let’s discuss what we mean by a “Trusted Adult”. 6. Allow a few responses. 7. Shape their responses: “A Trusted Adult is a grown‐up who helps you to stay safe in your Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Examples of Trusted Adults, other than your parents, could be a teacher, a neighbor, an aunt or uncle, your grandparent, a church leader, or a family friend.” 8. How do you know you can trust someone? 9. Allow a few responses. 10. You know someone is trustworthy when they help you to be safe, when they tell the truth, and when they are there for you in good times and bad. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 3 Page 21
Activity ‐ Identifying My Trusted Adults 1. Can anyone name a person who loves you and helps you to stay safe? Encourage the children to name adults in addition to their mom and dad. 2. List children’s responses on the board. 3. These are people whom you can ask to help you if you are unsafe or confused. We call these people Trusted Adults. 4. Give each child a piece of paper and crayons or markers. 5. Instruct the children to think of one or two Trusted Adults besides mom or dad whom they could ask for help. 6. Tell a person next to you the names of the Trusted Adults that you picked. 7. Have the children draw a picture of each of their Trusted Adults. Remind children that mom and dad may be trusted adults even if they are not in the picture. 8. Attach the drawing to the Home Activity sheet for parents for lesson 3 (see the end of the Kindergarten lessons). 9. Instruct the children to have their parents sign the Home Activity Sheet. 10. Remind the children to bring the Home Activity Sheet back to the classroom for the next class. Skill Introduction 1. Ask the children to think of times when they might need to talk to or ask a Trusted Adult for help. List these on the board. 2. Post the adapted skill poster “How to Ask for Help”. a. Picture of eyes b. Picture of a child speaking/mouth c. Picture of “?” d. The words “Thank You” 3. Adapted skill steps are: a. Look at the person (Picture of eyes) b. Tell the person, “I need help. I do not feel safe.” (Picture of a child speaking/mouth –
see the end of the lessons.) c. Tell the person what is wrong, why you don’t feel safe. (Picture of the question mark “?” see the end of the lessons) d. Tell the person “Thank You”. (Picture of the words “Thank You” at the end of the lessons.) 4. This is how we ask for help. You can use these steps whenever you need to ask anyone for help. Today we are going to practice how to ask for help from your parents or a trusted adult. Optional Activity ‐ Color page Color the How to Ask for Help color page. Leader may choose to use color pages from each Optional Activity to form a Circle of Grace Color Book for the children. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 3 Page 22
Role‐Play Introduction Remember, according to research we remember 5% of what we hear and 90% of what we do. Allowing children to role‐play greatly increases their chances of remembering what to do when a real problem arises.
1. Explain, “Role‐play is a way to practice something new.” 2. Select one of the situations from Skill Introduction that the children think they might need to talk to or ask for help from a trusted adult. Explain that, “Today we are going to practice asking for help when (situation).” (Example: “Today we are going to practice asking for help when someone wants me to get in their car and I don’t think my mom and dad want me to.”) 3. Ask the children to brainstorm ideas of how they would tell a trusted adult they felt unsafe. Encourage the children to clearly describe why they feel unsafe. Examples: “My mom told me to wait for her.” “We might not go straight to my house.” “I don’t know him.” 4. Have the children practice with the leader role‐playing the trusted adult. This role‐play activity may be done individually or as a large group. a. Children look at the leader. b. Children say aloud, “I need your help. I don’t feel safe.” c. Children say aloud, “Please help me because… (Example: “Please help me because I don’t think my mom or dad want me to go with her. I don’t know her.”) d. Children say aloud, “Thank You.” Wrapping Up 1.
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Direct children’s attention back to the “How to Ask for Help” Skill Poster. Ask children to repeat after you the steps for “How to Ask for Help.” Encourage children to pray for and/or write a note of thanks to each of their Trusted Adults. Review the Circle of Grace movement. Ask children to stand with enough room around them to fully extend their arms without touching each other. 5. Give the following directions while modeling the desired actions: a. Reach with both arms as high as you can over your head. b. Circle your arms down on each side and bend down until you reach all the way under your feet. c. As you stand back up again, turn all the way around once as you raise your arms back over your head. 6. Tell the children, “This is the Circle of Grace that you live in.” Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 3 Page 23
Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 3 Page 24
Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 1 Page 25
Feeling Faces Chart Embarrassed
Frustrated
Happy
Lonely
Loved
Mad
Sad
Nervous
Proud
Relaxed
Scared
Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Stressed
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Feeling Faces Chart/No Labels Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 31
Lesson 2 The Stoplight: Home Activity Sheet for Parents The goal of Lesson 2: The Stoplight ‐ Feelings, Touch, and Secrets is to help children identify safe and unsafe situations/secrets. The children are now better able to understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them, to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. They are able to identify when someone comes into their Circle of Grace, and to recognize safe and unsafe touch in a person’s Circle of Grace. In this lesson, we use the analogy of a stoplight to connect a green signal with safe situations, a red signal with unsafe situations, and a yellow signal with situations in which a child might feel confused or unsure. Sometimes it is hard for a child to distinguish between the yellow and red situations. When that happens, children need to talk to someone they trust like their parents, leader, or other trusted adult. Learning to be more aware of these signals helps children recognize them as one of the main ways the Holy Spirit helps to guide us. It is important for you as parents and guardians to reinforce this lesson at home with your child. You are encouraged to talk with your child about real situations in his or her everyday life and invite your child to identify whether the situations are green (GO AHEAD, this is safe), red (STOP, this is unsafe always talk to a trusted adult before acting), or yellow (BE CAREFUL, always talk to a trusted adult before acting). Your support of the Circle of Grace Program is essential and very much appreciated as we strive to provide the safest possible environment for our children. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten: Lesson 2 Page 33
Lesson 3 The Trusted Adult: Home Activity Sheet for Parents The goal of Lesson 3: In this lesson, we ask children to name and draw a picture of trusted adults (in addition to their parents). Please ask your child to show you this drawing. If your child names someone you find inappropriate, please help him/her to identify someone else. Please contact these individuals to let them know you and your child have identified them as trusted adults. This can be done in person, by phone, or a letter. (Letter‐writing is a fun activity you can do with your child.) Being identified as a trusted adult will most likely make them feel honored as well as alert them to your safety plan for your child. Please have your child return the drawing with your signature as a confirmation for us that you received this information and discussed it with your child. Please call the parish, school, or religious education office if you have questions. Thank you for your cooperation!
Kindergarten Evaluation
Parish/School __________________________________ City________________________
Leader__________________________________ Number of children in class________
1. YES _____ NO _____ Children understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to describe the Circle of Grace which God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Children can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Children can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator or Director of Religious Education. Circle of Grace – Kindergarten Page 36
Circle of Grace
Safe Environment Training Grade 1 – Lesson Plan
Philosophy
According to research, one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused by age eighteen.1 Many protection programs focus on “stranger danger,” however, up to ninety percent of the time the perpetrator of abuse is known to the child such as a relative or family friend. Circle of Grace goes beyond just protection by helping children understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults.
Goal of the Circle of Grace Program - Grades K-12
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Grade 1 Leader Guidelines
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The Red Light, Green Light Activity may be adapted to a Happy, Neutral, and Sad Face Activity if the leader believes the children have not been exposed to a stoplight. •
Your Administrator, or Religious Education Director, will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. •
for ongoing improvement of the program and for the audit records. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Leader Guidelines Page 2 Circle of Grace Vocabulary
Words introduced in Kindergarten Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Words Introduced in First Grade Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. Words Introduced in Second Grade No new words. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Vocabulary Page 3 Words Introduced in Third Grade Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary. Words Introduced in Fourth Grade Blog: An online journal. Personal stories or thoughts can be posted as in a personal journal. This is a public journal that anyone can access. Chat Room: The name given to a place or page in a website or online service where people can chat with each other by typing messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are in the chat room. Flaming: Sending a deliberately confrontational message to others on the Internet. Inappropriate Material: Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Instant messaging (IM): Technology similar to that of chat rooms which notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. Netiquette: Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. Personal Contact Information: Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located in the physical world, such as a telephone number or an address. Phishing: An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence from e‐commerce sites. The fake messages generally link to websites that are similarly faked to look like the sites of the respected companies. On the sites you are directed to enter your personal information for authentication or confirmation purposes. The information, when submitted, goes to the thieves, not to the “spoofed” company. Predator: Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with the intent to do harm. Words Introduced in Fifth Grade Media: Mass communication formats (music, TV, magazines, movies, videos, Internet, computer games, books, advertisements, news, newspapers, radio, etc.) which provide education, information, entertainment, and advertising. Inappropriate Media: Images or words, spoken or written, that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Vocabulary Page 4 Words Introduced in Sixth Grade Admiration: A feeling of high regard or sense of awe. Dream: A hope or aspiration which we imagine will become real. Empathy: The ability to understand the feelings of another person. Healthy: That which is sound and vigorous in mind, body, and spirit. Relationship: A connection with God or others. Response: Something said or done as a reaction or answer. Talent: A special God‐given ability or gift. Value: A principle standard or quality considered desirable. Violation: A break or infringement of another person’s rights. Words Introduced in Seventh Grade Disrespect: Treating with rudeness, insult, or lack of respect. Words Introduced in Eighth Grade Conscience: The gift from God that helps me to know the difference between right and wrong. Modesty: The virtue that respects, honors, and protects privacy: the quality of avoiding extremes of emotion, action, dress, and language. Modesty respects my boundaries and the boundaries of others. Morality: The way we put our beliefs into action for good. Sexuality: Everything that makes us female or male. This includes feelings, attitudes, values, relationships, and ideas. Words Introduced in Ninth Grade2 Accusations: Accusing another person of actions or behaviors that cannot be substantiated. Many times the accusations are exaggerated and spoken publicly. Anger: Using angry words or physical harm to get something from someone else. Bribery: Giving to get. The gift may be tangible (flowers, jewelry, dinner) or intangible (compliment, attention, date). Flattery: Insincere, exaggerated, and sometimes sexual comments spoken with the intention of getting something in return. Insecurity: Bringing attention to another person’s vulnerabilities and weaknesses or using one’s own weakness to manipulate. Adapted from Unmasking Sexual Con Games: Leaders Guide by Kathleen M. McGee and Laura J. Buddenberg, Boys Town Press, 2003, used with permission. 2
Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Vocabulary Page 5 Intimidation: Using words or actions to threaten, scare, or overpower another person. Intimidation may also include bringing public attention to another person’s weaknesses. Jealousy: Being possessive of another person’s time, property, or body. Status: Using one’s age, profession, popularity, position, or power to manipulate. Words Introduced in Tenth Grade Circle of Virtue: Our response to the invitation of God’s grace by cultivating goodness and virtue in our lives. Words Introduced in Eleventh Grade Moral Responsibility: As we grow into mature adults, we must take greater responsibility for protecting ourselves and others from violations of God’s plan for our spiritual, sexual, and moral lives. Freely Chosen Violations: Every person is responsible for those violations they freely choose and know are wrong. (We should never blame or accuse persons to the extent that they are victims of abuse and are manipulated in unequal relationships.) Victim: A person who has suffered injury/harm (physical or emotional) by forces beyond his or her control and not of his or her personal responsibility. Survivor: A person who not only lives through but thrives despite abuse, affliction, or adversity. Adaptations3: Lust: Convincing a victim that it is normal to have intense sexual desire. Coercive Properties: Using words that threaten or intimidate a victim. Possessiveness: Treating a victim like an object. Repetitiveness: Constantly using the same words to gain a victim’s trust. Control: Words used to reinforce position as the “boss”. Emotional Groomer4: A person who manipulates another’s emotions to skillfully gain control of that person. Language Cons5: Words and phrases or “lines” that groomers use to trick and manipulate their targets. Ibid. McGee, Kathleen M. and Laura J. Buddenberg Unmasking Sexual Con Games 3rd Edition A Teen’s guide to Avoiding Emotional Grooming and Dating Violence (Boys Town NE: Boys Town Press, 2003), used with permission. 5 Ibid. 3
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Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Vocabulary Page 6 Boundaries6: Healthy physical and emotional distance between persons. Set limits in relationships. Boundaries define where you end and where someone else begins and keeps you safe in your Circle of Grace. Same‐Gender Friendships7: Learning and practicing what it means to be a genuine friend to people of the same gender. Opposite‐Gender Friendships8: Learning and practicing how to have fun with and appreciate the other gender. Dating Steps:9 Friendly Dating: Includes group dating and single dating. The purpose is to get to know many different people. Helps to shape your idea of whom you might want to date seriously. It is wise to go no further than holding hands or hugging. Steady Friendly Dating: Dating one person exclusively while maintaining appropriate emotional and sexual boundaries. Goes no further than hugging or kissing. Serious Steady Dating: Is this the spouse for me? Begin examining relationship in light of marriage. Maintains same boundaries as listed above. Engagement: Couple prepares for life‐long, committed, bonded relationship. Marriage: Bonding on all levels – emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. Words Introduced in Twelfth Grade No new words. Ibid. Ibid. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid. 6
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Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Vocabulary Page 7 Lesson 1
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will come to understand and describe the concept of a Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Demonstrate his/her own Circle of Grace. 2. Describe what makes a person’s Circle of Grace a holy space. 3. Identify the behaviors appropriate for the Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1. Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. 2. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 3. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. 4. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. 5. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 6. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 7. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 8. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 1 Page 8
Materials Needed 1. Symbols (examples: stop sign, Nike swoosh, slippery when wet sign, peace symbol, etc.) 2. Circle of Grace logo color (see the end of the Grade 1 lessons) 3. Circle of Grace logo Black and White (see the end of the Grade 1 lessons) 4. Whiteboard or chalkboard 5. Chart paper or flip chart paper to make a “happy/sad face chart” Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started 1.
Show symbols one at a time to the children. Ask what each represents. Make the point that symbols are a way of telling us something or reminding us of something. 2. Write the term “Symbol” on the board. State the vocabulary definition of symbol: a picture or object that stands for something else. Lesson Development Discussion 1. Show children the Circle of Grace symbol. Ask children what they see in the symbol. 2. This is a symbol for our Circle of Grace. It reminds us that God loves us and His love is always around us. Everyone has a Circle of Grace. 3. Review what each part represents: a. Red Circle of Grace Words ‐ Color of the Holy Spirit b. Person ‐ Child of God c. Yellow Circle ‐ Grace d. Dove ‐ Holy Spirit e. Blue Background ‐ The World in Which We Live Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 1 Page 9
Activity ‐ Circle of Grace 1. Review the Circle of Grace movement. Ask children to stand with enough room around them to fully extend their arms without touching each other. 2. Give the following directions while modeling the desired actions: a. Reach with both arms as high as you can over your head. b. Circle your arms down on each side and bend down until you reach all the way under your feet. c. As you stand back up again, turn all the way around once as you raise your arms back over your head. 3. Tell the children: This is the Circle of Grace that you live in. Discussion 1. Suggested opening: Now, we will talk about why it is important that we know about our Circle of Grace. 2. Ask the children: Do you remember that Jesus told us how he would always love us and always be with us? If God is always with us, we are always in a special, holy place. That place is our Circle of Grace. This is the place the Holy Spirit is with us and within us. 3. When we remember that we are in a Circle of Grace, with God and surrounded by God’s love, we will also remember to behave with the respect for ourselves and for others that is called for when we are in a holy place. Activity ‐ Happy and Sad Face Chart 1. Make a chart with two columns on the poster paper/flip chart paper. Label one with happy face and one with sad face. 2. Ask the children: What are some nice things that people do or say? What are some hurtful things that people do or say? 3. Allow a few responses. List on the board in the appropriate column. 4. Point out that words and behaviors listed in the happy face column are those that respect our Circle of Grace. The words and behaviors in the sad face column are those that do not belong in anyone’s Circle of Grace. 5. Keep happy and sad face chart posted for future reference. Optional Lesson Extender 1. Role‐play how you want to be treated by others in your Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 1 Page 10
Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Tell the children you will close by singing a song called “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 1 Page 11
Lesson 2: The Stoplight
Feelings, Touch and Secrets
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will be better able to identify safe and unsafe situations. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. 2. Learn how to recognize when someone comes into their Circle of Grace. 3. Be able to recognize safe and unsafe situations in a person’s Circle of Grace. 4. Distinguish between safe and unsafe secrets in a person’s Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 2. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 3. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. 4. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. 5. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 12
Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 6. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 7. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. 8. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 9. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 10. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Materials Needed 1. Large picture of a stoplight with all three colors visible ‐ red, yellow, and green (see the end of Grade 1 lessons) 2. One set of red, yellow, and green circle cards per child the backside of each colored card should be white and the front side red, yellow, or green 3. Feeling Faces Chart is optional to assist with the stoplight activity (see the end of Grade 1 lessons) 4. Completed Happy Face and Sad Face chart from Lesson 1 5. Home Activity Sheet for Parents: The Stoplight (see the end of Grade 1 lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started Review 1. Ask children to stand and demonstrate their Circle of Grace as learned in previous lesson. 2. Point to Happy Face and Sad Face chart from Lesson 1. Ask children the following: a. What did we write on this chart? (Answer: words and actions we like and don’t like from others.) b. What were some of the words and actions you liked? Why? c. What were some you did not like? Why? Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 13
Suggested comment: Today we are going to continue talking about words and actions that we like and don’t like in our Circle of Grace. We will use the stoplight to identify what doesn’t belong in our Circle of Grace. Discussion 1. Show a large picture of a stoplight. 2. Review the meaning of a stoplight by asking: a. Why do we have stoplights? Pause for answers. The reason we have stoplights is to protect people and keep them safe. b. What does each color of the stoplight mean? (Add STOP, BE CAREFUL, and GO AHEAD.) Lesson Development Introduction The use of the word “signal” (instead of “light”) is intentional in order to point to the fact that a “signal” can be both internal and external. A “stoplight”, however, is only an external reality. Most of the time you know what is safe and good to allow in your Circle of Grace. Sometimes, though, you need others who respect your Circle of Grace to help you know what is safe and what is not, people like our parents or teachers. God has given each of us our own kind of signal to keep us safe and protected. Sometimes these signals are called feelings. Our feelings are one of the main ways the Holy Spirit helps to guide us. Discussion 1. Continue by saying: Let’s review how the three colors of a stoplight can remind us of the signals God gives us to help keep us safe and protected. 2. Green signal ‐ Means GO AHEAD. Some things are definitely safe. Some examples are telling the truth, being kind and respectful, helping others, and caring about others. You are also safe when others respect your body and feelings. Could you name some other things that would always be safe to do or let someone else do with you? (Leader points out that everything written on the happy face column of the poster would be a green signal word or action.) 3. Red Signal ‐ Means STOP. Some things are unsafe and always mean trouble. Some examples are being mean or bullying, lying, hitting, fighting, etc. Can you help me think of other things that are never good to do or let someone do to you? (Leader points out that everything written on the sad face column of the poster would be a red signal word or action.) When this happens, tell someone that you trust, like your mom, dad, leader, or other trusted adult. 4. Yellow Signal ‐ Means BE CAREFUL. Sometimes you can’t tell if a situation is safe or unsafe. You might feel confused or unsure about it. These are like a yellow signal. It may seem like just a funny feeling in your heart or tummy. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 14
When this happens, tell someone that you trust, like your mom, dad, leader, or other trusted adult. Activity ‐ Red Light, Green Light The purpose of this activity is to help children learn how to identify dangerous and unsafe situations, feelings, and touch, but not to scare or shame them. Make sure to give clear and concise reasons why a situation falls into the green or yellow/red signal category. This is because for children, it may be sometimes hard to distinguish between red and yellow situations. The children need to be aware of their internal process of conflicting feelings which they might be experiencing. Children will learn that when possible they should always talk to a trusted adult before acting in a red or yellow situation. Remind children that there are always adults available to listen and talk. Children only need to ask a trusted adult for the time to talk. 1. Give each child a set of red, green, and yellow cards. 2.
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Suggested instructions: In a moment, I’m going to describe some situations. Please listen very carefully. At the end of each, I’m going to ask you if you think the situation calls for a red signal, a yellow signal, or a green signal. I’ll then ask you each to hold up the color card that you think best fits the situation. Then we’ll talk about each situation. 3. Read each situation aloud. Make sure to vary the order in which the green, red, and yellow situations are read. 4. After reading a situation, give children a moment to think and then ask them to hold up a red, green, or yellow card. Some situations, though clearly red to adults, may be unclear (yellow) from a child’s perspective. This activity will help children identify their own confusing feelings and to understand that they should talk to a trusted adult. Allow time for children to discuss their feelings connected with these situations. a. GREEN SITUATIONS ¾ Your mom or dad gives you a hug when you are sad (loved, comforted). ¾ You are at the doctor and your mom is with you. The doctor checks your body to make sure it is healthy (safe, secure, embarrassed). ¾ You see your friend crying and you ask if you can give her/him a hug (sad, caring). Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 15
¾ Your grandmother/grandfather wipes your tears when you fall down and hurt yourself (loved, comforted, safe). ¾ You tell the leader when you accidentally break something in your classroom (embarrassed, sorry, guilty, happy that you told). b. YELLOW/RED SITUATIONS (Always talk to a trusted adult.) ¾ You are walking home from school and someone you don’t know well offers to give you a ride home (cautious, scared). ¾ Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you not to watch (worried, afraid of getting into trouble). ¾ You push someone out of line so you can be first (mad, selfish). ¾ You are playing at the neighborhood park. A man/woman who has said, “Hi,” to you a few times comes up and asks if you can help find his lost puppy (sad, anxious). ¾ You are at a family party. Someone asks you to sit on his/her lap, but you don’t want to (pressured, mad, unsure). ¾ Your friend’s big brother/sister wants you to do something you don’t want to do (pressured, confused). ¾ An older relative wants to kiss or hug you, but you don’t like it because he or she smells funny (confused, impolite, “icky”, etc.). Sometimes secrets can even give us a funny feeling in our heart or tummy. A safe secret is one that does not hurt others or me. A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. A good way to decide if a secret is safe or unsafe is to ask ourselves, “Can this secret hurt me or someone else?” • I am going to read some more situations that have a secret. • Please listen very carefully. • At the end of each, I’m going to ask you if you think the situation calls for a red signal, a yellow signal, or a green signal. I’ll then ask you each to hold up the color card that you think best fits the situation. • Then we’ll talk about each situation. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 16
5. Situations: (Be sure to vary the order in which the green, red, and yellow situations are read.) GREEN ¾ Your friend tells you, “I think Joey is cute,” and tells you to keep it a secret (special, trusted). ¾ Your dad is planning a surprise birthday party for your mom (happiness, excitement, anticipation). ¾ Your parents plan to get a puppy but don’t tell you until they bring it home (surprised, loved). YELLOW/RED (Always talk to a trusted adult.) ¾ Your friend throws a ball and it accidentally breaks the neighbor’s window. The friend asks you not to tell (guilty, afraid of punishment). ¾ An adult asks you to go with him without asking permission from your parents. He/she tells you that your parents won’t care if you go with him/her, but “Don’t tell your parents about our visit. They won’t understand,” (unsure, funny feeling in your tummy or heart, curious). ¾ Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe ‐ even if the person says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me,” (funny feeling in your tummy, confused, etc.). ¾ Your friend tells you, “I stole money from mom’s purse/dad’s wallet to go get some candy for us. Don’t tell her/him,” (confused, worried, maybe excited). ¾ Someone acts like your friend but then tries to get you to do something you don’t want to do because you know it is wrong or because it makes you feel confused or funny. They say, “If you tell, I will tell everyone that this was your idea,” (confused, funny feeling, trapped). ¾ Someone tells you that you will get into trouble if you tell your mom and/or dad (leader, or other) (afraid of punishment). 6. After each situation is read, ask a few volunteers to explain why they chose the color card they did. Also, allow time for children to discuss their feelings connected to each situation. 7. If children are unsure, wrong, or you are seeing more than one color card held up for a given situation, stop and ask the following questions: ¾ What do you think your mom or dad, leader, or pastor would say about this situation? ¾ Would they think it is a red, green, or yellow signal? Why? ¾ How do we know if something is a red, green, or yellow signal situation? Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 17
Wrapping Up 1. Review these definitions of feelings with the children. a. They are not right or wrong, good or bad. b. They may be God’s signals about what is going on in our lives. 2. We have talked about these situations as green, red, and yellow to help children know how to respond and how to recognize their feelings as a way of deeper listening. 3. In Lesson 3, they will learn that sometimes they need to talk to trusted adults to help them understand the meaning of these signals. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Tell the children you will close by singing a song called “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 18
Lesson 3
Safety Plan
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will demonstrate how to take action if boundaries are threatened or violated. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. 2. Understand that God wants them to do what they can to take care of themselves. 3. Name three trusted adults (in addition to their parents) whom they could seek out for help. 4. Learn and role‐play the skill of “How to Ask for Help”. Vocabulary 1. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 2. Trusted adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 3 Page 19
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Whiteboard or chalkboard Construction or coloring paper for each child Markers or crayons for each child Create one large Skill Poster of “How to Ask for Help” with following steps (see the end of Grade 1 lessons): a. Look at the person. b. Say, “I need to tell you something important.” c. Clearly describe the problem. d. Thank the person for helping you. 5. Trusted Adult Parent Activity Sheet (see the end of Grade 1 lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls the group by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started Review Vocabulary 1. Children of God: All people. We are all made by and loved by God. 2. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 3. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 4. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. 5. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. 6. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 7. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 8. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and others. 9. Safe Touch: Touch that respects me and others. 10. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 3 Page 20
Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 11. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 12. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. 13. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 14. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 15. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 16. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Review 1. Show children the Circle of Grace Symbol. 2. Tell the children: This is a symbol for our Circle of Grace. It reminds us that God loves us and His love is always around us. Everyone has a Circle of Grace. 3. Show a large picture of a stoplight. 4. Review the meaning or purpose of a stoplight by asking: a. Why do we have stoplights? The reason we have stoplights is to protect people and keep them safe. Sometimes people say or do things that make us feel funny in our heart or tummy. That funny feeling tells us that we need to get help from a trusted adult. The Holy Spirit is guiding us to help keep us safe. b. What does each color of the stoplight mean? (Add STOP, BE CAREFUL, and GO AHEAD.) Lesson Development Introduction 1. Today we are going to learn what to do if someone comes into your Circle of Grace without your permission or does something that makes you feel unsafe. 2. Write “Trusted Adult” on the board. 3. We just reviewed all the new vocabulary words that we’ve learned in the past few lessons. Today, our focus is on a term that we already know ‐ “Trusted Adult”. 4. Let’s review what “Trusted Adult” means. 5. Allow a few responses. 6. A Trusted Adult is a grown‐up who helps you to stay safe in your Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Examples of Trusted Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 3 Page 21
Adults, other than your parents, could be a teacher, a neighbor, an aunt, or uncle, your grandparent, church leader, or a family friend. 7. How do you know you can trust someone? 8. Allow a few responses. 9. You know someone is trustworthy when they help you to be safe, when they tell the truth, and when they are there for you in good times and bad. An adaptation using a hand puppet to interact with the leader and children during the Activity, Skill Introduction, and Role‐Play Introduction is provided at the end of the Grade 1 lessons. Activity ‐ Identifying My Trusted Adults 1. Can anyone name a person who loves you and helps you to stay safe? Encourage the children to name adults in addition to their mom and dad. 2. List children’s responses on the board. 3. These are people whom you can ask to help you if you are unsafe or confused. We call these people Trusted Adults. 4. Give each child a piece of paper and crayons or markers. 5. Instruct the children to think of one or two Trusted Adults besides mom or dad whom they could ask for help. 6. Tell a person next to you the names of the Trusted Adults that you picked. 7. Draw a picture of each of your Trusted Adults. Remind children that mom and dad may be trusted adults even if they are not in the picture. 8. Attach the drawing to the Home Activity Sheet for parents for lesson 4. (See the end of Grade 1 lessons.) 9. Instruct the children to have their parents sign the Home Activity Sheet. 10. Remind the children to bring the home activity sheet back to the classroom next week. Skill Introduction How to Ask My Trusted Adult for Help Ask the class to brainstorm a list of Red Signal or Yellow Signal times when they might need to talk to or ask a trusted adult for help. Write their suggestions on the board. 1. Post the adapted skill poster “How to Ask for Help”. (See the end of the Grade 1 lessons.) a. Picture an eye b. Picture of a child speaking/mouth c. Picture of “?” d. The words “Thank You” 2. Skill steps are: a. Look at the person. (Picture of an eye) b. Say to the person “I need help. I do not feel safe.” (Picture of a child speaking/mouth) c. Tell the person what is wrong, why you don’t feel safe. (Picture of “?”) Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 3 Page 22
d. Tell the person, “Thank You.” (Words “Thank You”) 3. This is how we ask for help. You can use these steps whenever you need to ask anyone for help. Today we are going to practice how to ask for help from your parents or a Trusted Adult. Role‐Play Introduction Remember, according to research we remember 5% of what we hear and 90% of what we do. Allowing children to role‐play greatly increases their chances of remembering what to do when a real problem arises.
1. Explain: Role‐play is a way to practice something new. 2. Select one of the situations from Skill Introduction that the children think they might need to talk to or ask for help for a trusted adult. 3. Today we are going to practice asking for help when…(situation). (Example: Today we are going to practice asking for help when someone wants me to get in their car and I don’t think my mom and dad want me to.) 4. Ask the children to brainstorm ideas of how they would tell a trusted adult they felt unsafe. Encourage the children to clearly describe why they feel unsafe. Examples: “My mom told me to wait for her.” “We might not go straight to my house.” “I don’t know him.” “I feel anxious around them.” 5. Have the children practice with the leader role‐playing the trusted adult. This role‐play activity may be done individually or as a large group. a. Children look at the leader. b. Children say aloud: “I need your help. I don’t feel safe.” c. Children say aloud: “Please help me because…” (Example: Please help me because I don’t think my mom or dad want me to go with her. I don’t know her.) d. Children say aloud: “Thank You.” Wrapping Up 1. Direct children’s attention back to the “How to Ask for Help” Skill Poster. 2. Ask children to repeat the steps for “How to Ask for Help”. 3. Encourage children to pray for and/or write a note of thanks to each of their Trusted Adults. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 3 Page 23
Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Tell the children you will close by singing a song called “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Hand Puppet Adaptation 1. Use a hand puppet to interact with the leader and children during the lesson activity, skill introduction, and role‐play introduction. 2. Activity Adaptation: The leader asks children to name a person who loves them and helps them to stay safe. The leader prompts the children by having the hand puppet respond appropriately. The leader affirms the hand puppet’s responses. 3. Skill Introduction Adaptation: The leader reviews the adapted skill poster “How to Ask for Help” with the hand puppet. The hand puppet models the skill steps for the children and asks the children to practice the steps with it. 4. Role‐Play Adaptation: Using one of the situations provided, the hand puppet role‐plays the appropriate skills to use when asking for help. Children may also give their suggestions to the hand puppet as to how the hand puppet should ask for help. The leader may also have the children use the hand puppet to role‐play the appropriate skills. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 3 Page 24
Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 1 Page 25
Frustrated
Happy
Lonely
Loved
Mad
Sad
Proud
Scared
Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Nervous
Relaxed
Stressed
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Feeling Faces Chart/No Labels Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 30
Lesson 2 The Stoplight: Home Activity Sheet for Parents The goal of Lesson 2: The Stoplight ‐ Feelings, Touch, and Secrets is to help children identify safe and unsafe situations/secrets. The children are now better able to understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them, to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. They will be able to identify when someone comes into their Circle of Grace and to recognize safe and unsafe touch in a person’s Circle of Grace. In this lesson, we use the analogy of a stoplight to connect a green signal with safe situations, a red signal with unsafe situations, and a yellow signal with situations in which a child might feel confused or unsure. Sometimes it is hard for a child to distinguish between the yellow and red situations. When that happens, children need to talk to someone they trust like their parents, leader, or other trusted adult. Learning to be more aware of these signals helps children recognize them as one of the main ways the Holy Spirit helps to guide us. It is important for you as parents and guardians to reinforce this lesson at home with your child. You are encouraged to talk with your child about real situations in his or her everyday life and invite your child to identify whether the situations are green (GO AHEAD, this is safe), red (STOP, this is unsafe, always talk to a trusted adult before acting), or yellow (BE CAREFUL, always talk to a trusted adult before acting). Your support of the Circle of Grace Program is essential and very much appreciated as we strive to provide the safest possible environment for our children. Circle of Grace – Grade 1: Lesson 2 Page 32
Lesson 3 The Trusted Adult: Home Activity Sheet for Parents The goal of Lesson 3: In this lesson, we ask children to name and draw a picture of trusted adults (in addition to their parents). Please ask your child to show you this drawing. If your child names someone you find inappropriate, please help him/her to identify someone else. Please contact these individuals to let them know you and your child have identified them as trusted adults. This can be done in person, by phone, or a letter. (Letter‐writing is a fun activity you can do with your child.) Being identified as a trusted adult will most likely make them feel honored as well as alert them to your safety plan for your child. Please have your child return the drawing with your signature as a confirmation for us that you received this information and discussed it with your child. Please call the parish office if you have questions. Thank you for your cooperation!
Lesson Extenders
Lesson 1: What is a Circle of Grace? “God Made Me” Necklace adapted The Big Book of Christian Crafts by Kathy Ross Cut a 4 by 6 inch piece of heavy paper (poster board, oaktag, cardboard) for each child. Cut off two corners at one end and round all corners to create a pendant. Using markers, write “God Made Me with Love” on one side of the pendant. Have each child write his/her name on the other side of the pendant. Thread a 2 foot piece of cording or ribbon through a hole punched at the tapered end of the pendant. Knot the cord to form a necklace. Invite children to decorate their pendant. Close the activity by having the children pray, “Thank you God for making me.” God Made
Me
With Love
Hollingsworth, Mary. Tall Body, Short Body, Everybody’s Somebody We are all different. God made and loves us all. Lesson 3: Safety Plan Cary, Phoege. “Our Heroes” [from The Children’s Book of Heroes edited by William J. Bennett] God gives strength and courage to do the right thing, to say no.
Circle of Grace – Grade 1 Page 35
Grade 1 Evaluation
Parish/School ____________________________________ City_______________________
Leader ______________________________ Number of children in class____________
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check whether the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Children understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to describe the Circle of Grace which God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Children can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Children can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator or Director of Religious Education. Circle of Grace – Grade 1 Page 36
Circle of Grace
Philosophy
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The Red Light, Green Light Activity may be adapted to a Happy, Neutral, and Sad Face Activity if the leader believes the children have not been exposed to a stoplight. •
Your Administrator or Religious Education Director will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. Evaluations for each grade are to be completed and returned to the School Administrator or the Director of Religious Education/Formation. The evaluations will be used to complete the Summary Evaluation that is sent to the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
for ongoing improvement of the program and for the audit records. •
Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Leader Guidelines Page 2 Circle of Grace Vocabulary
Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Vocabulary Page 5 Intimidation: Using words or actions to threaten, scare, or overpower another person. Intimidation may also include bringing public attention to another person’s weaknesses. Jealousy: Being possessive of another person’s time, property, or body. Status: Using one’s age, profession, popularity, position, or power to manipulate. Words Introduced in Tenth Grade Circle of Virtue: Our response to the invitation of God’s grace by cultivating goodness and virtue in our lives. Words Introduced in Eleventh Grade Moral Responsibility: As we grow into mature adults, we must take greater responsibility for protecting ourselves and others from violations of God’s plan for our spiritual, sexual, and moral lives. Freely Chosen Violations: Every person is responsible for those violations they freely choose and know are wrong. (We should never blame or accuse persons to the extent that they are victims of abuse and are manipulated in unequal relationships.) Victim: A person who has suffered injury/harm (physical or emotional) by forces beyond his or her control and not of his or her personal responsibility. Survivor: A person who not only lives through but thrives despite abuse, affliction, or adversity. Adaptations3: Lust: Convincing a victim that it is normal to have intense sexual desire. Coercive Properties: Using words that threaten or intimidate a victim. Possessiveness: Treating a victim like an object. Repetitiveness: Constantly using the same words to gain a victim’s trust. Control: Words used to reinforce position as the “boss”. Emotional Groomer4: A person who manipulates another’s emotions to skillfully gain control of that person. Language Cons5: Words and phrases or “lines” that groomers use to trick and manipulate their targets. Ibid. McGee, Kathleen M. and Laura J. Buddenberg Unmasking Sexual Con Games 3rd Edition A Teen’s guide to Avoiding Emotional Grooming and Dating Violence (Boys Town NE: Boys Town Press, 2003), used with permission. 5 Ibid. 3
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Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Vocabulary Page 6 Boundaries6: Healthy physical and emotional distance between persons. Set limits in relationships. Boundaries define where you end and where someone else begins and keeps you safe in your Circle of Grace. Same‐Gender Friendships7: Learning and practicing what it means to be a genuine friend to people of the same gender. Opposite‐Gender Friendships8: Learning and practicing how to have fun with and appreciate the other gender. Dating Steps:9 Friendly Dating: Includes group dating and single dating. The purpose is to get to know many different people. Helps to shape your idea of whom you might want to date seriously. It is wise to go no further than holding hands or hugging. Steady Friendly Dating: Dating one person exclusively while maintaining appropriate emotional and sexual boundaries. Goes no further than hugging or kissing. Serious Steady Dating: Is this the spouse for me? Begin examining relationship in light of marriage. Maintains same boundaries as listed above. Engagement: Couple prepares for life‐long, committed, bonded relationship. Marriage: Bonding on all levels – emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. Words Introduced in Twelfth Grade No new words. Ibid. Ibid. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid. 6
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will come to understand and describe the concept of a Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Demonstrate their own Circle of Grace. 2. Describe what makes a person’s Circle of Grace a holy space. 3. Identify the behaviors appropriate for the Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1.
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Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 6. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 7. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. Materials Needed 1. Symbols (examples included: stop sign, NIKE swoosh, slippery when wet sign, peace symbol, yield) Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 1 Page 8
2. Several copies of Circle of Grace logo (one copy for each group) (see the end of the Grade 2 lessons) 3. Whiteboard or chalkboard 4. Circle of Grace cards (see the end of the Grade 2 lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started 1.
Show symbols one at a time to the children. Ask what each represents. Invite children to name other symbols. Make the point that symbols are a way of telling us something or reminding us of something else. 2. Write the term “Symbol” on the board. State the vocabulary definition of symbol: a picture or object that stands for something else. Lesson Development Discussion (Extender provided at the end of the lesson) 1. Show children the Circle of Grace symbol. Ask children what they see in the symbol. Prompt if needed for the following parts to be identified and review what each part represents: a. Red Circle of Grace Words ‐ Color of the Holy Spirit b. Person ‐ Child of God c. Yellow Circle ‐ Grace d. Dove ‐ Holy Spirit e. Blue Background ‐ The World in Which We Live 2. Remind the children, “Everyone has a Circle of Grace.” 3. Write terms “Grace”,” Circle of Grace”, and “Children of God” on the board and define them. Activity ‐ Circle of Grace 1. Let’s review our Circle of Grace movement. 2. Ask children to stand with enough room around them to fully extend their arms without touching each other. 3. Give the following directions while modeling the desired actions: a. Reach with both arms as high as you can over your head. b. Circle your arms down on each side and bend down until you reach all the way under your feet. c. As you stand back up again, turn all the way around once as you raise your arms back over your head. 4. Tell the children, “This is the Circle of Grace that you live in.” Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 1 Page 9
Discussion 1. Now, let’s remember why it is important that we know about our Circle of Grace. 2. Ask the children the following review questions: • Does Jesus always love us? (Yes) • Is Jesus always with us? (Yes) • If God is always with us, we are always in a special, holy place. What do we call that special, holy place? (Our Circle of Grace – prompt with Circle of Grace movement if needed). • This is the place the Holy Spirit is with us and within us. • If we can remember that we are in a Circle of Grace, with God and surrounded by God’s love, what will that help us remember to do? (Respect ourselves and others) 3. Write terms “Holy”, “Holy Spirit”, “Respect”, and “Trust” on the board and define them. Activity – Circle of Grace Cards (see the end of Grade 2 lessons) 1. Have the children sit together in groups of 3 (or 4). 2. Give each group a set of cards and a copy of the Circle of Grace logo. 3. Have children take turns drawing a card from the top of the pile and decide if this is something he or she would welcome in their Circle of Grace or something he or she would like to keep far out side his or her Circle of Grace. If the card shows something loving and kind they should put it in the Circle of Grace Logo (begin or continue a pile). If it shows something scary, mean, or unhealthy, he or she should put it outside the Circle of Grace logo (begin or continue a pile). If the child is not sure, the child should put the card outside the pile until he or she asks for help from the leader (Trusted Adult). Optional Lesson Extender Draw or find appropriate additional pictures of how you want to be treated in your Circle of Grace or of words or actions that would be loving and kind. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Tell the children you will close by singing a song called “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 1 Page 10
Lesson 2
The Stoplight
Feelings, Touch, and Secrets
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will be better able to identify safe and unsafe situations. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. 2. Learn how to identify when someone comes into their Circle of Grace. 3. Be able to recognize safe and unsafe situations in a person’s Circle of Grace. 4. Distinguish between safe and unsafe secrets in a person’s Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 2. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 3. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 2 Page 11
4. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 5. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 6. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. 7. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 8. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 9. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Materials Needed 1.
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Large picture of a stoplight with all three colors visible ‐ red, yellow, and green One set of red, yellow, and green circle cards Feeling Faces Charts (see the end of the Grade 2 lessons) The Stoplight: Home Activity Sheet for Parents (see the end of the Grade 2 lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There will be children in every group who may have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. We want our children to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. Review 1. Ask children to stand and demonstrate their Circle of Grace, as learned in previous lesson. 2. Today we are going to continue talking about words and actions that we like and don’t like in our Circle of Grace. We will also learn a new way to identify what doesn’t belong in our Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 2 Page 12
Discussion 1. Show a large picture of a stoplight. 2. Review the meaning or purpose of a stoplight by asking: a. Why do we have stoplights? Pause for answers. The purpose of a stoplight is to protect and keep people safe. b. Where might you see a stoplight? c. What does each color of the stoplight mean? (Add STOP, BE CAREFUL, and GO AHEAD.) Lesson Development Introduction The use of the word “signal” (instead of “light”) is intentional in order to point to the fact that a “signal” can be both internal and external. A “stoplight”, however, is only an external reality. 1. Most of the time you know what is safe and good to allow in your Circle of Grace. Sometimes, though, you need others who respect your Circle of Grace to help you know what is safe and what is not. God has given each of us our own kind of signals to help keep us safe and protected. Sometimes these signals are called feelings. Our feelings are one of the main ways the Holy Spirit helps to guide us.” 2. Introduce new vocabulary, “Safe”, “Unsafe touch”, “Feelings”, “Safe Secret”, “Unsafe Secret”, and “Trusted Adult”. 3. Let’s review how the three colors of a stoplight can remind us of the signals God gives us to help keep us safe and protected. 4. Green signal ‐ Means GO AHEAD. Some things are definitely safe. For example, telling the truth, being kind and respectful, helping others, caring about others, etc. You are also safe when others respect your body and feelings. Could you name some other things that would always be safe to do or let someone else do with you? 5. Red Signal ‐ Means STOP. Some things are unsafe and always mean trouble. Some examples are being mean or bullying, lying, hitting, fighting, etc. Can you help me think of other things that are never good to do or let someone do to you? When this happens, tell someone that you trust like your mom, dad, leader, or other trusted adult. 6. Yellow Signal ‐ Means BE CAREFUL. Sometimes you can’t tell if a situation is safe or unsafe. You might feel confused or unsure about it. These are like a yellow signal. It may seem like just a funny feeling in your heart or tummy. When this happens, tell someone that you trust like your mom, dad, leader, or other trusted adult. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 2 Page 13
Activity ‐ Red Light, Green Light The purpose of this activity is to help children learn how to identify dangerous and unsafe situations, feelings, and touch, but not to scare or shame them. Make sure to give clear and concise reasons why a situation falls into the green or yellow/red signal category. This is because for children, it may be sometimes hard to distinguish between red and yellow situations. The children need to be aware of their internal process of conflicting feelings which they might be experiencing. Children will learn that when possible they should always talk to a trusted adult before acting in a red or yellow situation. Remind children that there are always adults available to listen and talk. Children only need to ask a trusted adult for the time to talk. In a moment, I’m going to read you some very short situations. Please listen very closely to each situation. When I finish reading the situation, I am going to hold up a card with a signal color. Then, I will ask you if it is the right color card/signal for that story. Finally, I’ll ask you about the feelings that go with that signal and situation. (Refer to Feeling Faces chart as needed. See the end of the Grade 2 lessons.) Leader reads a situation from the list below and holds up one of the colored signal cards. Leader then asks the following questions: Is this the right colored signal for this situation? Why or why not? How might you feel if you were in this situation? Why? What can these feelings tell you about whether or not a situation is safe? Read each situation aloud. Make sure to vary the order in which the green, red, and yellow situations are read. a. GREEN SITUATIONS ¾ Your mom or dad gives you a hug when you are sad (loved, comforted). ¾ You are at the doctor and your mom is with you. The doctor checks your body to make sure it is healthy (safe, secure, embarrassed). ¾ You see your friend crying and you ask if you can give her/him a hug (sad, caring). ¾ Your grandmother/grandfather wipes your tears when you fall down and hurt yourself (loved, comforted, safe). ¾ You tell the leader when you accidentally break something in your classroom (embarrassed, sorry, guilty, happy that you told). b. YELLOW/RED SITUATIONS (Always talk to a Trusted Adult.) ¾ You are walking home from school and someone you don’t know well offers to give you a ride home (cautious, scared). Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 2 Page 14
¾ Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you not to watch (worried, afraid of getting into trouble). ¾ You push someone out of line so you can be first (mad, selfish). ¾ You are playing at the neighborhood park. A man/woman who has said, “Hi,” to you a few times comes up and asks if you can help find his lost puppy (sad, anxious). ¾ You are at a family party. Someone asks you to sit on his/her lap, but you don’t want to (pressured, mad, unsure). ¾ Your friend’s big brother/sister wants you to do something you don’t want to do (pressured, confused). ¾ An older relative wants to kiss or hug you, but you don’t like it because he or she smells funny (confused, impolite, “icky”, etc.). Discussion Sometimes even secrets can give us a funny feeling in our heart or tummy. A safe secret is one that does not hurt others or me. A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble and I do not tell. A good way to decide if a secret is safe or unsafe is to ask ourselves, “Can this secret hurt me or someone else?” Leader reads a situation from the list below and holds up one of the colored signal cards. Situations: (Be sure to vary the order in which the green, red, and yellow situations are read.) GREEN ¾ Your friend tells you, “I think Joey is cute,” and tells you to keep it a secret (special, trusted). ¾ Your dad is planning a surprise birthday party for your mom (happiness, excitement, anticipation). ¾ Your parents plan to get a puppy but don’t tell you until they bring it home (surprised, loved). RED/YELLOW (Always talk to a Trusted Adult.) ¾ Your friend throws a ball, and it accidentally breaks the neighbor’s window. The friend asks you not to tell (guilty, afraid of punishment). ¾ You saw your babysitter drink some of your parents’ beer, but the babysitter said not to tell (fear, worried). ¾ An adult asks you to go with him without asking permission from your parents. He/she tells you that your parents won’t care if you go with him/her, but, “Don’t tell your parents about our visit. They won’t understand,” (unsure, funny feeling in your tummy or heart, curious). ¾ Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe ‐ even if the person says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me,” (funny feeling in your tummy, confused, etc.). ¾ Your friend tells you, “I stole money from mom’s purse/dad’s wallet to go get some candy for us. Don’t tell her/him,” (confused, worried, maybe excited). Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 2 Page 15
¾ Someone acts like your friend but then tries to get you to do something you don’t want to do because you know it is wrong or because it makes you feel confused or funny. They say, “If you tell, I will tell everyone that this was your idea,” (confused, funny feeling, trapped). ¾ Someone tells you that you will get into trouble if you tell your mom and/or dad (leader, or other) (afraid of punishment). If children are unsure, wrong, or you are seeing more than one color card held up for a given situation, stop and ask the following questions: ¾ What do you think your mom or dad, leader, or pastor would say about this situation? ¾ Would they think it is a red, green, or yellow signal? Why? ¾ How do we know if something is a red, green, or yellow signal situation? Wrapping Up 1. Review these definitions of feelings with the children. a. They are not right or wrong, good or bad. b. They may be God’s signals about what is going on in our lives. 2. We have talked about these situations as green, red, and yellow to help children know how to respond and how to recognize their feelings as a way of deeper listening. 3. In Lesson 3, they will learn that sometimes they need to talk to trusted adults to help them understand the meaning of these signals. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Tell the children you will close by singing a song called “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song.
Lesson 3
Safety Plan
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We are all Children of God. As Children of God, we are unique and loved by Him Jesus teaches us how to love and respect God and others and self We are all called to do good. Lesson Goal Children will demonstrate how to take action if boundaries are threatened or violated. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. 2. Understand that God wants them to do what they can to take care of themselves. 3. Name three trusted adults (in addition to their parents) whom they could seek out for help. 4. Learn and role‐play the skill of “How to Ask for Help”. Vocabulary 1. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 2. Trusted adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 3 Page 17
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Whiteboard or chalkboard Construction or coloring paper for each child Markers or crayons for each child Create one large Skill Poster of “How to Ask for Help” with following steps see the end of Grade 2 Lesson for example): a. Look at the person, b. Say, “I need to tell you something important.” c. Clearly describe the problem. d. Thank the person for helping you. 5. Trusted Adult Home Activity Sheet for Parents (see the end of Grade 2 Lessons) Opening Prayer: Leader calls the group by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started Review Play a flash card game, other memory game, or have a brief group discussion that enables children to review the following vocabulary. 1. Children of God: All people. We are all made by and loved by God. 2. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 3. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 4. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. 5. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. 6. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 7. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 8. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and others. 9. Safe Touch: Touch that respects me and others. 10. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 3 Page 18
11. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 12. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. 13. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 14. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 15. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 16. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Lesson Development Introduction 1. Today we are going to learn what to do if someone comes into your Circle of Grace without your permission or does something that makes you feel unsafe. 2. Write “Trusted Adult” on the board. 3. We just reviewed all the new vocabulary words that we’ve learned in the past few lessons. Today, our focus is on a term that we already know ‐ “Trusted Adult”. 4. Let’s review what Trusted Adult means. 5. Allow a few responses. 6. A Trusted Adult is a grown‐up who helps you to stay safe in your Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Examples of Trusted Adults, other than your parents, could be a teacher, a neighbor, an aunt or uncle, your grandparent, a church leader, or a family friend. 7. How do you know you can trust someone? 8. Allow a few responses. 9. You know someone is trustworthy when they help you to be safe, when they tell the truth, and when they are there for you in good times and bad. Activity ‐ Identifying My Trusted Adults Can anyone name a trusted adult you know, someone in addition to your mom or dad, whom you could go to for help? 1. List children’s responses on the board. 2. Now that we have an idea of who some trusted adults are, we are each going to identify three of our very own Trusted Adults. 3. Give each child a piece of paper and crayons or markers. 4. Think‐Pair‐Share activity: ¾ THINK: Take one minute to close their eyes and in their mind picture and name three Trusted Adults in addition to their parents. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 3 Page 19
¾ PAIR: Turn to the person on your right and say the names (or title, e.g. Grandpa, Auntie, etc.) of your three Trusted Adults. ¾ SHARE: Draw a picture of each of your Trusted Adults and share it with the class. 5. Attach the drawing to the Home Activity sheet for parents for lesson 3. (See the end of the Grade 2 lessons.) 6. Instruct the children to have their parents sign the Home Activity Sheet. 7. Remind the children to bring the home activity sheet back to the classroom next week. Skill Introduction ‐ How to Ask My Trusted Adult for Help Ask the class to brainstorm a list of Red Signal or Yellow Signal situations when they might need to talk to or ask a trusted adult for help. Write their suggestions on the board. 1. Post the Skill Poster “How to Ask For Help”. Skill steps are: ¾ Look at the person. ¾ Say, “I need to tell you something important.” ¾ Clearly describe the problem. ¾ Thank the person for helping you. 2. Explain, “This is the skill of ‘How to Ask for Help’. You can use it whenever you need to ask anyone for help. Today we are going to role‐play how to use this skill when we need to talk to our parents or a trusted adult about Red Signal or Yellow Signal times or any other problem, trouble, or worry.” Role‐Play Introduction Remember, according to research we remember 5% of what we hear and 90% of what we do. Allowing children to role‐play greatly increases their chances of remembering what to do when a real problem arises.
1. Explain that: ¾ Role‐play is a way of practicing new skills. ¾ Role‐play involves two or more volunteers acting out situations from the skill introduction. 2. Demonstrate a role‐play by: ¾ Asking a child volunteer to come forward. ¾ Ask the volunteer to name one of his/her Trusted Adults. ¾ Assume the part of the child’s Trusted Adult. ¾ Instruct the child volunteer to pretend that you are his/her Trusted Adult and to come up to you to report one of the Red Signal or Yellow Signal incidents on the board. ¾ Remind the child volunteer to report by following the steps on the “How to Ask for Help” Skill Poster. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 3 Page 20
¾ Begin role‐play. Assist the child volunteer if she or he gets stuck on any step. The Trusted Adult’s suggested response, ”Thanks for telling me, Joey. I’ll take care of it from here.” 3. Continue role‐playing with other volunteers. Allow as many children as possible to role‐play. 4. Once role‐play is complete, ask class the following: ¾ Did the volunteer follow all the steps for How To Ask For Help? ¾ What did the volunteer or Trusted Adult do well? ¾ Is there anything either of them could have improved on? Wrapping Up 1.
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Thank all volunteers for role‐playing. Direct children’s attention to the “How to Ask for Help” Skill Poster. Ask children to repeat after you the steps for “How to Ask for Help”. Encourage children to pray for and/or write a note of thanks to each of their Trusted Adults. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Tell the children you will close by singing a song called “This is Holy Ground”, or “Prayer for Peace”, or other appropriate song.
Circle of Grace Cards Circle of Grace cards are made of cardstock with pictures or simple drawings of the following or similar objects. Provide enough sets of Circle of Grace cards for each small group. Sample pictures have been provided. •
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Clenched fist Open hand reaching Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 1 Page 24
Frustrated
Happy
Lonely
Loved
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Lesson 2 The Stoplight: Home Activity Sheet for Parents The goal of Lesson 2: The Stoplight ‐ Feelings, Touch, and Secrets is to help children identify safe and unsafe situations/secrets. The children are now better able to understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them, to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. They will be able to identify when someone comes into their Circle of Grace and to recognize safe and unsafe touch in a person’s Circle of Grace. In this lesson, we use the analogy of a stoplight to connect a green signal with safe situations, a red signal with unsafe situations, and a yellow signal with situations in which a child might feel confused or unsure. Sometimes it is hard for a child to distinguish between the yellow and red situations. When that happens, children need to talk to someone they trust like their parents, leader, or other trusted adult. Learning to be more aware of these signals helps children recognize them as one of the main ways the Holy Spirit helps to guide us. It is important for you as parents and guardians to reinforce this lesson at home with your child. You are encouraged to talk with your child about real situations in his or her everyday life and invite your child to identify whether the situations are green (GO AHEAD, this is safe), red (STOP, this is unsafe, always talk to a trusted adult before acting), or yellow (BE CAREFUL, always talk to a trusted adult before acting). Your support of the Circle of Grace Program is essential and very much appreciated as we strive to provide the safest possible environment for our children. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 2 Page 33
Lesson 3 The Trusted Adult Home Activity Sheet for Parents The goal of Lesson 3: In this lesson, we ask children to name and draw a picture of trusted adults (in addition to their parents). Please ask your child to show you this drawing. If your child names someone you find inappropriate, please help him/her to identify someone else. Please contact these individuals to let them know you and your child have identified them as trusted adults. This can be done in person, by phone, or a letter. (Letter‐writing is a fun activity you can do with your child.) Being identified as a trusted adult will most likely make them feel honored as well as alert them to your safety plan for your child. Please have your child return the drawing with your signature as a confirmation for us that you received this information and discussed it with your child. Please call the parish office if you have questions. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 3 Page 35
Circle of Grace Lesson Extenders
Lesson 2: The Stoplight ‐ Feelings, Touch, and Secrets Listening for Guidance adapted, Shining Star, 1986 You will need a large bowl of water, a large spoon, and an optional picture to reflect in the water. Begin by discussing how it is possible to look into a quiet pool and see the reflection of a tree growing on the bank or your face looking into the water. Explain that it is not possible to see the tree or your face as clearly if there is churning in the water. As you swish the water, have the children name some things that may happen to cause the water to churn. Go on to explain to the children that Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to help us. The Holy Spirit tries to speak to us and help us, but we can only hear the Holy Spirit if our minds are calm and still, like the very quiet bowl of water. Suggest that they practice many times a day stilling their minds so as to be able to listen to the still, small voice of the Spirit. Quieting our minds to hear the Holy Spirit will help us to decide what to do. Lesson 3: Safety Plan Cary, Phoege. “Our Heroes” [from The Children’s Book of Heroes edited by William J. Bennett] God gives strength and courage to do the right thing, to say no. Circle of Grace – Grade 2: Lesson 3 Page 37
Grade 2 Evaluation
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check whether the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Children understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to describe the Circle of Grace which God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Children can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Children can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator or Director of Religious Education. Circle of Grace – Grade 2 Page 38
Circle of Grace
Philosophy
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A Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, or catechist who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. Every leader should read the Philosophy and Goals to better understand and prepare to teach the Circle of Grace. The time frame may vary depending on size of class, age of children, amount of discussion, etc. Vocabularies with definitions are intended for the leader. The explanation of vocabulary should be integrated within the context of the lessons to assist the children in their understanding of the Circle of Grace Program. The depth of the children’s understanding will depend upon their age and developmental stage. A master vocabulary list of the Circle of Grace Program is included in all lesson plans. The pertinent vocabulary is listed in each lesson. If possible it is always “best practice” to have two adults in the room during the lesson due to the sensitive nature of the material. There should be no more than two to three weeks between the last two lessons. Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our children and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. There is a pre and post assessment for this grade. This tool will assist in evaluating the children’s understanding and assimilation of the concepts. The results are to be recorded on the grade evaluation and are not to be shared with the children. Your Administrator or Religious Education Director will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. Evaluations for each grade are to be completed and returned to the School Administrator or the Director of Religious Education/Formation. The evaluations will be used to complete the Summary Evaluation that is sent to the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Vocabulary Page 5 Intimidation: Using words or actions to threaten, scare, or overpower another person. Intimidation may also include bringing public attention to another person’s weaknesses. Jealousy: Being possessive of another person’s time, property, or body. Status: Using one’s age, profession, popularity, position, or power to manipulate. Words Introduced in Tenth Grade Circle of Virtue: Our response to the invitation of God’s grace by cultivating goodness and virtue in our lives. Words Introduced in Eleventh Grade Moral Responsibility: As we grow into mature adults, we must take greater responsibility for protecting ourselves and others from violations of God’s plan for our spiritual, sexual, and moral lives. Freely Chosen Violations: Every person is responsible for those violations they freely choose and know are wrong. (We should never blame or accuse persons to the extent that they are victims of abuse and are manipulated in unequal relationships.) Victim: A person who has suffered injury/harm (physical or emotional) by forces beyond his or her control and not of his or her personal responsibility. Survivor: A person who not only lives through but thrives despite abuse, affliction, or adversity. Adaptations3: Lust: Convincing a victim that it is normal to have intense sexual desire. Coercive Properties: Using words that threaten or intimidate a victim. Possessiveness: Treating a victim like an object. Repetitiveness: Constantly using the same words to gain a victim’s trust. Control: Words used to reinforce position as the “boss”. Emotional Groomer4: A person who manipulates another’s emotions to skillfully gain control of that person. Language Cons5: Words and phrases or “lines” that groomers use to trick and manipulate their targets. Boundaries6: Healthy physical and emotional distance between persons. Set limits in relationships. Boundaries define where you end and where someone else begins and keeps you safe in your Circle of Grace. Ibid. McGee, Kathleen M. and Laura J. Buddenberg Unmasking Sexual Con Games 3rd Edition A Teen’s guide to Avoiding Emotional Grooming and Dating Violence (Boys Town NE: Boys Town Press, 2003), used with permission. 5 Ibid. 3
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Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Vocabulary Page 6 Same‐Gender Friendships7: Learning and practicing what it means to be a genuine friend to people of the same gender. Opposite‐Gender Friendships8: Learning and practicing how to have fun with and appreciate the other gender. Dating Steps:9 Friendly Dating: Includes group dating and single dating. The purpose is to get to know many different people. Helps to shape your idea of whom you might want to date seriously. It is wise to go no further than holding hands or hugging. Steady Friendly Dating: Dating one person exclusively while maintaining appropriate emotional and sexual boundaries. Goes no further than hugging or kissing. Serious Steady Dating: Is this the spouse for me? Begin examining relationship in light of marriage. Maintains same boundaries as listed above. Engagement: Couple prepares for life‐long, committed, bonded relationship. Marriage: Bonding on all levels – emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. Words Introduced in Twelfth Grade No new words. Ibid. Ibid. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid. 6
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Jesus is the Son of God God takes care of us and is always with us God created all human beings in His image and He saw this as very Good God calls us to a loving relationship with Himself and with others The Holy Spirit is the third person of the Blessed Trinity. He can be understood as the love of the Father for the Son and the love of the Son for the Father. The Holy Spirit helps us to live as Jesus did, making good choices. God’s creation is to be respected and as Christians we accept responsibility to care for it. Jesus’ life is a model for our own. God calls us to be responsible for our actions. Understand the importance of serving others as Jesus did God teaches us to lead a healthy life and to make good choices. Lesson Goal Children will come to understand the concept of a Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand and explain that as Children of God we are treasured and filled with grace. God’s presence is within us and around us creating our own Circle of Grace. 2. Demonstrate their own Circle of Grace. 3. Identify what behaviors are appropriate within a Circle of Grace showing that they treasure themselves and others as Children of God. Vocabulary 1. Children of God: All people. We are all made by and loved by God. 2. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God within me and which always surrounds me and others. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 8
3. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. 4. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. 5. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 6. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 7. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 8. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. Materials Needed 1.
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Pre‐assessment for each child (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Photos or props of precious things that are cared for and protected Whiteboard or chalkboard Box that is wrapped with a bow (box and lid wrapped separately with some sort of mirror inside) One copy of the color logo (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Copy of the black and white logo for each student (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Worksheet Number One Word/Phrase List (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Plain paper Parent letter (to be sent home at the end of this lesson) (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started 1. Distribute and collect the pre‐assessment. The results will be recorded on the evaluation. 2. It will be helpful to have the vocabulary written on the board and have the color logo displayed. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 9
Lesson Development Today we are going to discuss how God treasures all of us by giving each of us a Circle of Grace. ¾ Show students pictures or examples of precious items that, because they are so special, receive extra care. Possibilities might include: o The American Flag o A rare collector’s item like a gold coin or an autographed baseball that might be kept in a glass case under lock and key o A vintage automobile that is kept in a heated garage and only driven on days when the weather is good o The Declaration of Independence which is kept in a climate controlled case under bulletproof glass o A special set of china dishes that are a family heirloom o Ask the children for other examples Make a point that everything that is considered extra special, rare, or valuable is given extra care and protection. ¾ The final and MOST IMPORTANT example of care given to a precious item is the special measures taken to protect and care for… o A Consecrated Host, The Blessed Sacrament Not only do we keep it in a special vessel and in a special locked box but also when we handle it we do so with the ultimate reverence and respect. We even build a special building, the church, where it is housed, and there are many special behaviors for when we are in the presence of Christ in The Blessed Sacrament. Ask students for examples of special behaviors we use in church to show respect. • Folding hands • Kneeling • Bowing heads • Genuflecting • Reverent silence Activity ‐ Precious Gift‐Wrapped Box (Use a box with a lid that you can wrap. Inside the box is a mirror of some sort so that the students will see their reflection when they look inside the box.) ¾ Show the children a gift‐wrapped box. Tell them: “It contains something very precious, something that both you and God treasure very highly. This is so special, unique, and valuable that it should be handled with the highest level of care and respect. Each of us should do everything in our power to keep it safe.” Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 10
o You are invited to come up one at a time and look into the box, to see this precious gift. o Once you have seen the contents of the box, don’t tell anyone else what you have seen. The beauty of the gift is that everyone will see something very different. o While they are waiting to take their turn to view the special gift, have the children make a list of their ten most precious possessions. Discussion After they have all had a chance to look in the box, say: Most of the time when we think of people who need special care we think of the following. o Newborn Baby o The Elderly o People with special needs It is important to remember that all of us are deserving of this special care and respect. Why should we consider ourselves as a precious and special gift deserving of a special care and respect? Allow a few responses. Emphasize the following points: ¾ We are made by God. We are all Children of God. ¾ We are all made by God and in His own image and likeness which means that we are made for the purpose of loving God, ourselves, and others and doing good. ¾ God promised that as His children we will always be in His presence and surrounded by His love. (Circle of Grace) o Even when we are not in our family home, we are each still a member of our family (belonging) and the love of our family goes with us. o We belong to the family of God, so even when we are not in the church building, we are always Children of God. o God’s loving presence goes with us wherever we go. o This constant loving presence of God is called “grace”. It is as though we carry our own little church with us wherever we go. Activity ‐ Circle of Grace 1. Show the Circle of Grace color logo. Ask the children what the various parts of the logo represent and guide them toward the conclusion that: ¾ The dove represents God with us in the Person of the Holy Spirit. ¾ The figure represents a Child of God. ¾ The yellow circle represents Grace: the goodness and love of God that is always in us and is surrounding us. ¾ The blue represents the world in which we live. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 11
(Connect the earlier discussion of how we surround those things and people we find precious with extra care much like the “Circle of Grace”. See above discussion.) 2. Ask the children to stand with enough space between them that they can extend their arms without touching their neighbors. Tell them to reach with both hands as high over their heads as they can and then bring their arms down in a big arc until they circle around their feet. As they stand back up again, have them turn in a circle as they bring their arms up, to show that their Circle of Grace is really a sphere that surrounds them on all sides. 3. Explain that all persons, every Child of God, lives and breathes in their own circle of God’s love and goodness, their own Circle of Grace. Activity ‐ What belongs in my Circle of Grace and what does not belong there? ¾ Because we are all Children of God, and because God has promised to always love us and remain with us, our Circle of Grace is a holy place. Like all holy places, there are ideas, words, objects, and behaviors that belong in our Circle of Grace and others that do not belong there. ¾ Distribute to each child a black and white copy of the logo and Worksheet‐1 (a list of words and phrases (see the end of Grade 3 lessons)). o Using the words and phrases on the list, write the words that belong inside your Circle of Grace inside the circle on your paper. Write the words that do not belong in your Circle of Grace outside the circle. o When they have completed the list, encourage them to add their own ideas and words of what belongs inside and outside their Circle of Grace. Summary ¾ We are all precious in the eyes of God and live in God’s love and goodness because we are all God’s children. ¾ As God’s children, we are deserving of special care from others and ourselves. ¾ The Circle of Grace in which we live and breathe is a holy place where some things belong and others do not. Have children put their names on their worksheets and collect them to review in Lesson 2. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 12
Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Have the children stand and sing with you the song “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 13
Lesson 2
Boundaries and Limits of Our Circle of Grace
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Jesus is the Son of God Jesus is our Savior God takes care of us and is always with us The Holy Spirit helps us to live as Jesus did, making good choices Jesus’ life as a model for our own God calls us to be responsible for our actions Understand the importance of serving others as Jesus did God teaches us to lead a healthy life and make good choices God calls us to be responsible for our own actions. Lesson Goal Children will be better able to identify safe and unsafe situations. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Recognize when a boundary (Circle of Grace) may be threatened or violated. 2. Understand that God does not want or cause bad things to happen to them and that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. Vocabulary 1. Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. 2. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. 3. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 4. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 14
5. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 6. Safe Touch: Touch that respects me and others. 7. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 8. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 9. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 10. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to me or others. • Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. 11. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary. Materials Needed 1.
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Copy of the Color Logo for leader to display (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Whiteboard or chalkboard Completed Lesson 1 Worksheets Copy of “Boundary Scenarios” (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Copies of “Feeling Faces Chart” (one for each student) (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Parent letter (to be sent home at the end of the lesson) (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 15
Getting Started It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There will be children in every group who may have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. We want our children to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad.
It may be helpful to have the vocabulary available for the students on the board/chart/ handout and to have the logo displayed. Lesson Development Review 1. Briefly review the vocabulary in Lesson 1. 2. Briefly review the worksheet in Lesson 1. It is a reminder of what belongs inside and outside of our Circle of Grace. Discussion ¾ Today, we are going to continue talking about words and actions that belong and don’t belong in our Circle of Grace. ¾ The Holy Spirit loves us and wants us to be safe. ¾ Our parents and leaders also want us to be safe and teach us to maintain healthy boundaries. ¾ Sometimes a person gives us lots of good signals that make us seem like we can trust them, but we may still have an uncomfortable feeling that something may be wrong. ¾ We should pay attention to this warning feeling. It may be a signal from the Holy Spirit to help keep you safe. ¾ Most of the time you know what is safe and good to allow into your Circle of Grace. ¾ When a person ignores boundaries, someone’s rights are violated and they may be harmed physically or emotionally. ¾ The person who violates the boundary may face consequence or punishment. ¾ When you are unsure or have confusing feelings, you need to ask a trusted adult to help you. A Boundary Can Be Physical, Symbolic, or Internal We will now talk about the boundaries that are the borders or limits we need to protect ourselves within our Circle of Grace. (As you go through the examples below, it is important to relate them to the children’s safety.) Write “Physical”, “Symbolic”, and “Internal” on the board. During the discussion, write which items belong under each boundary heading. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 16
Physical: An actual barrier that blocks or restricts something. • Fence (defines property) • Bathroom/bedroom door (can be shut and locked to respect privacy) • Clothes (protect our bodies from elements and covers private areas) • School Building (secures learning environment, doors, alarms, school office) • Home (keep family secure: alarm system, protection from the weather) • Seat Belt (protects our body if there is an accident) Symbolic: A limit you can see that does not physically restrict you. You can choose to respect or ignore this limit. • Playing Field (visual lines to help play fairly) • McGruff House Sign (indicates a safe place to ask for help) • “Do not enter” Sign (privacy or potential danger alert) • A Crosswalk (a guide as to where to safely walk) • “No Trespassing” Sign (alerts you to stop and keep out of another’s property) • “Keep Off the Grass” Sign (alerts you to keep off another’s property) • “Keep Kids Alive! Drive 25!” (encourages drivers to drive slowly around children) Internal: An understanding of a rule or limit that you carry in your head. Most of these are learned through experience or taught by those who care for us. The Holy Spirit nudges us to remember our internal limits in order to help us be safe. • Acceptable volume on a radio or CD player (respects others sensitivity to noise) • Space between you and an unknown or known person (this space could vary depending on culture, family, and current relationship) • You stop eating when you are full (an internal sensation that no more food is needed) • Not playing in the street (internal limit regarding danger taught by those who care for us) • Knowing not to participate in an activity your parents would not approve (internal limit based on prior parental guidance) • Appropriate behavior in church and school (internal limit based on prior adult guidance) Activity – Boundary Scenarios ‐ Keeping One Safe Materials (see the end of Grade 3 lessons for the scenarios) 1. The scenario questions are provided to help facilitate the discussion and to encourage children to identify safe and unsafe situations. 2. Begin by discussing scenario number 1, the fence scenario, with the large group. 3. Divide the students in pairs or small groups. Assign one or two boundary scenarios (and the questions following it) to each group for discussion. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 17
4. Come back to the large group to discuss the scenarios in more depth. For each scenario, have groups present their responses to the questions following the scenario (below). Discuss the scenario as a large group. Expand the discussion by using the expansion questions (#5 below) with the large group. Discuss each boundary fully before going on to the next. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? 5. Expand each scenario by discussing the following questions with the large group. a. How do you know this is a boundary? Is it physical, symbolic, or internal? b. Whose rights would be violated if this boundary were not respected? c. Does this boundary violation affect one’s Circle of Grace? Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Have the children stand and sing with you the song “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 18
Lesson 3
Action Plan
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Jesus is the Son of God Jesus is our Savior God takes care of us and is always with us The Holy Spirit helps us to live as Jesus did, making good choices Jesus’ life as a model for our own God calls us to be responsible for our actions Understand the importance of serving others as Jesus did God teaches us to lead a healthy life and make good choices Lesson Goal Demonstrate how to take action if boundaries are threatened or violated. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to:
1. Understand that God wants them to do what they can to take care of themselves. 2. Name three trusted adults (in addition to their parents) whom they could seek out for help. 3. Demonstrate the three‐step action plan. a. Say, “No!” b. Get Away! c. Tell A Trusted Adult. Special note to instructors: There may be children in every group who have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. Please be sensitive to this possibility. God is with them even during difficult times.
Vocabulary Review 1. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 2. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Materials Needed 1. “Personal Action Plan” card for each student (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) 2. Parent Letter (to be sent home at end of lesson) (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) 3. Post‐assessment for each child (see the end of Grade 3 lessons) Opening Prayer: Leader calls class to prayer by asking the children to quiet down and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all that we think, do, and say. Amen. Getting Started It may be helpful to have the vocabulary available for the students on the board/chart/handout and to have the logo displayed. Open the discussion with the following statements: ¾ God does not want or cause bad things to happen. ¾ God is with you and wants the best for you, even when you are hurting or sad. Lesson Development Review 1. Briefly review the vocabulary from lesson 2. 2. Briefly review the concepts of boundaries and keeping one safe. Open the discussion with the following statements: ¾ Now that we have talked about what does and does not belong in our Circle of Grace, let’s talk about what to do if you need to take steps to protect yourself. We will call this your action plan. ¾ There are situations when it is very clear that someone is trying to enter your Circle of Grace and would be harmful to you. Can you think of some examples? ¾ Maybe you have heard about some situations that have happened to other kids or have seen something on the news. It is important in these situations to have an action plan for how to stay safe. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 20
Below are the three steps necessary for a safe action plan: 1. Say, “No!” ¾ Let the other person, someone you know or a stranger, know in a clear and strong way that you do not want whatever it is they are doing or saying. ¾ Words like, “Go away!” or “Stop that! I don’t like it!” are often enough to get the person to leave you alone, especially if you say it loud enough so others can hear. Most people do not want to attract attention when they are doing something wrong. ¾ If you are in a mall or other public place and someone you do not know or trust is trying to get you to go with them, say loudly, “Leave me alone!” “You are not my dad/mom!” This will draw other people’s attention and the person will probably leave you alone. 2. Get Away! ¾ Do what you need to get away from the person. Walk, run, scream, or even kick to stop the other person. Again, most people who try to hurt children will stop if the child resists strongly or if the person is afraid someone will notice. ¾ Don’t worry about being embarrassed. It is much better than being hurt. 3. Tell A Trusted Adult! ¾ Go immediately to an adult that you trust, tell them what has happened, and ask them for their help. ¾ If the first adult you tell doesn’t believe you or understand, be very insistent! If that still does not convince them, tell another adult until you find one who will help you. ¾ Never let yourself go on being hurt just because the first person you tell does not help you. If you are clear about what has happened, tell the truth, there are lots of people who are ready to help. Discussion Now that we’ve discussed the three‐part action plan, let’s discuss what a trusted adult is and how we choose them. Distribute the “Personal Action Plan” card. Go over the following with the students: ¾ It is a good idea to have a list of three adults, in addition to your parents, that you know you can trust and ask for their help. ¾ Talk this over with your parents and make your list together. Be sure that you are comfortable and feel safe with the three identified adults. ¾ In some situations, it may not be as clear to you whether someone is really a threat to your Circle of Grace or not. The person may seem really nice but is acting in a way that makes you uncomfortable. This is the time to talk to a trusted adult. ¾ One warning signal would be if a person asks you to keep a secret from your parents or family. Sometimes we just get an uneasy feeling when something happens, and we are not really sure why. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 21
¾ It is important NOT to ignore these feelings/signals. They can be one way the Holy Spirit is letting us know we need to take care of ourselves within our Circle of Grace. ¾ These are times when it is important to go to one of the trusted adults on your list and ask for advice or help. ¾ If a person is pressuring you or asking you not to tell anyone about what they are doing (or asking you to do), it is always important to say, “No,” until you can talk to a trusted adult. They can help you decide if the situation is safe and healthy for you. A true trusted adult would always want to help keep you safe from harm. Activity – Preparation for Action Plan Role Play Leader presents the following: In this activity, we are going to role play a few situations to practice using our Action Plan in the event someone violates our Circle of Grace. Our practice situations will all begin right after the boundary violation has just taken place. Remember our three‐step plan: 1. Say, “No!” 2. Get away! 3. Tell a trusted adult. (My trusted adults are____________________________________, ____________________________________, ____________________________________.) We will ask for one volunteer for each role play situation. That person will play the role of the person who feels their Circle of Grace has been violated. The leader will play the role of each volunteer’s trusted adult. The children are not to role‐play the violation happening. They are only asked to role‐play the three‐step action plan. Before you begin the role‐play, let’s remember why we are doing this. We want you to have a chance to practice in these pretend situations so that if something like this ever happens to you in your real life you will know the steps to take to keep yourself safe. Sometimes when we are acting something out the goal is to entertain the audience or to make them laugh. That is not the goal here. You are trying to make these situations seem as realistic as possible so your audience gets a clear example of the right thing to do if something similar ever happens to them. This is not the time to be funny. Let’s review a couple of important points before we begin. These are a few tips for how to communicate clearly when you have something important to say. 1. If you want to tell someone to stop what they are doing to you, you have to make sure that your facial expression, body language, tone of voice, and words are all saying the same thing. If your words are telling someone to stop, but at the same time you are Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 22
laughing, it is easy for the person to ignore what you are saying or not take you seriously. 2. When you need to tell someone to stop what they are doing, this is not the time to worry about being polite. Your safety and your Circle of Grace are more important right now than whether someone might think you are being rude. You need to be firm and clear. You need to tell the person, not ask them. 3. When you tell your trusted adult about what happened, you need to be as direct and clear as you can. a. Tell them who the person was that hurt you or made you uncomfortable. b. Tell them exactly what the person said or did that made you feel that way. c. Ask them to help you be safe and feel comfortable again. Now let’s role‐play some situations where you use your action plan. Activity ‐ Action Plan Role Play Role Play Situations: Ask for one volunteer for each role‐play situation. That person will play the role of the person who feels their Circle of Grace has been violated. The leader will play the role of the each volunteer’s Trusted Adult in the second scene. Situation A: Remember the situation from Lesson 2 where the coach asks you to stay after practice to talk and then sits or stands too close to you? Scene 1: Sit in a chair in the front of the room and imagine that the coach is sitting in the chair right next to you. (Volunteer) • Leader asks the following: ¾ What would you say? ¾ What would you do? Scene 2: Volunteer and leader role play step three of the action plan. ¾ Whom would you tell? ¾ What would you say to them? Situation B: Remember the situation where a relative at a family reunion is tickling you and doesn’t stop when you ask them to? Scene 1: • Sit in a chair in the front of the room and pretend you are sitting in the lap of that relative. (Volunteer) • Leader asks the following: ¾ What would you say when they keep tickling you? ¾ What tone of voice would you use? Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 23
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What would you do to get away? Scene 2: Volunteer and leader role play step three of the action plan. ¾ Whom would you tell? ¾ What would you say to your trusted adult? Situation C: Remember the situation where your friend wants you to watch an R‐rated movie and not tell your parents? Scene 1: • Stand at the front of the room and pretend your friend is standing next to you. (Volunteer) • Leader asks the following: ¾ What would you say to this person? ¾ If they kept insisting you watch the R‐rated movie, what would you do? Scene 2: Volunteer and leader role play step three of the action plan. ¾ Whom would you tell? ¾ What would you say to your trusted adult? Situation D: Remember the situation where your babysitter comes into your room without knocking when you are changing to get ready for bed? Scene 1: • Sit in a chair in the front of the room and pretend your sitting on the edge of your bed. (Volunteer) • Imagine the babysitter is standing just inside the door. • Leader asks the following: ¾ What would your say to the babysitter? ¾ What would you do if they won’t leave your room when you ask them to? Scene 2: Volunteer and Leader role play step three of the action plan. ¾ Whom would you tell? ¾ What would you say to your trusted adult? Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 24
Activity – Post‐assessment Distribute and collect the post‐assessment. The results will be recorded on the evaluation. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Have the children stand and sing with you the song “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for Peace” or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 25
Pre-Assessment Grade 3
Write the correct word or phrase for each definition.
Circle of Grace
Respect
Trusted Adult
Signal
1. Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and
others.
2. A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be
internal or external.
3. The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me
and all others.
4. A grown-up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of
Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace.
Circle the correct answer.
True
False
5. Sometimes we have an uncomfortable feeling when we are with another person.
We need to pay attention to this warning feeling. It may be a signal from the Holy
Spirit to help keep us safe.
True
False
6. Unsafe touch is disrespectful, hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or
confused.
True
False
7. Always talk to a trusted adult when a situation or secret makes me feel unsafe or
confused.
Safe
Unsafe
8. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you
not to watch.
Safe
Unsafe
9. Your dad is planning a surprise birthday party for your mom.
Safe
Unsafe
10. Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe – even if the person
says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me.”
Pre-Assessment Key Grade 3
Circle of Grace
Respect
Trusted Adult
Signal
Respect
1. Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and
others.
Signal
2. A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be
internal or external.
Circle of Grace
and all others.
Trusted Adult
True
5. Sometimes we have an uncomfortable feeling when we are with another person.
We need to pay attention to this warning feeling. It may be a signal from the Holy
Spirit to help keep us safe.
True
6. Unsafe touch is disrespectful, hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or
confused.
True
7. Always talk to a trusted adult when a situation or secret makes me feel unsafe or
confused.
Unsafe
Safe
8. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you
not to watch.
Unsafe
10. Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe – even if the person
says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me.”
WORKSHEET 1: WORD/PHRASE LIST Which of the following things or behaviors belong inside my Circle of Grace? Which things or behaviors should I work to keep out of my or another’s Circle of Grace? • Harmful touch (hitting, kicking, pushing, touch that intrudes on your privacy, etc.) • Taking good care of yourself (healthy foods, getting enough sleep, medication, getting help when needed) • Drugs • Caring touch (comfort from a parent, a kiss on the cheek from your grandparent, encouraging pat on the back, high‐fives, etc.) • Violence • Kind words • Bad or hurtful words • Compliments • Putdowns • Name calling • Words of encouragement • Love • Hate • Gossip • Praise • Prayer • Forgiveness • Excluding someone Write each of these on your picture of the Circle of Grace in the place where you think they belong. Write other examples that you think of on your paper. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 30
Home Activity for Parents – Discussion Questions Dear Parent, We presented to your child the first lesson in our Circle of Grace program. Below is a list of the key concepts being taught in this lesson: 1. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. 2. Children of God: All people are made by and loved by God. 3. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. 4. Holy Spirit: God is present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 5. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 6. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds us. 7. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 8. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. It is important for you as parents and guardians to reinforce these concepts at your home with your child. A good time for these conversations might be: • In the car • Dinner time • Bed time • Homework time The first lesson discusses the precious things and people we encounter in our daily lives. Below are several questions to help with the discussion. • Ask your child what are five of his/her most precious items. • Discuss with your child how precious he/she is to the family. • Discuss that he/she is even more precious to God. We are so precious in God’s eyes that HE encircles us in HIS Circle of Grace. It is a holy place! • Ask your child what would not belong in their Circle of Grace (such as behaviors, words, ideas, objects, etc.). Thank you for your support of the Circle of Grace program. It is essential and very much appreciated as we strive to provide the safest possible environment for our children. If you have questions please call the school or religious education office. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 1 Page 31
Boundary Discussion Activity Scenarios 1. FENCE You are playing alone in your back yard, and someone you don’t know comes in your yard without permission. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? 2. BEDROOM DOOR Your parents are out for the night. You are in your bedroom getting ready for bed with your door shut. Your babysitter comes in your room without your permission and you feel uncomfortable. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 32
3. CLOTHES You are at a family reunion and a relative pulls you on their lap and starts tickling you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? 4. HOME (YOURS OR OTHERS) You are at a friend’s house and your friend turns on an R‐rated movie for you to watch together. When you say your parents don’t want you watching this kind of show your friend laughs and says, “If you don’t tell them, they’ll never know.” a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? 5. SPACE BETWEEN YOU AND A KNOWN OR UNKNOWN PERSON Your coach always asks you to stay after practice so the two of you can talk. He doesn’t do that with anyone else on the team and sometimes when he’s talking to you, you feel uncomfortable with how close he sits or stands by you. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 33
6. THE RULES OR LIMITS YOUR PARENTS HAVE SET FOR YOU An adult you know has become very friendly to you. The extra attention and kind words make you feel special. Lately, he or she has been giving you small gifts and ask you not to tell your parents because they would not understand your special relationship. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? 7. APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR IN SCHOOL You are in school. The classmate next to you keeps talking to you during class. This is distracting to you and you’re afraid of getting into trouble. a. Has there been a boundary violation of your Circle of Grace? Why? b. How would you feel if this were to happen? Why? (Refer to the feeling chart.) c. If this boundary were violated, what would be the possible consequences for you? What would be the possible consequences for the person who violated this boundary? d. What would be needed to make this situation safe? Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 34
Frustrated
Happy
Lonely
Loved
Mad
Sad
Proud
Scared
Relaxed
Stressed
Page 36
Lesson 2: Boundaries and Limits Dear Parent, We presented the second lesson “Boundaries and Limits of our Circle of Grace” to your child. The goal of this lesson is that children will better able to identify safe and unsafe situations. We talked about borders or limits needed to protect themselves within their Circle of Grace. Below are the vocabulary words being taught in this lesson. 1. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. 2. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 3. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 4. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. 5. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to me or others. 6. Safe Touch: Touch that respects me and others. 7. Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. 8. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 9. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 10. Boundary: A border or limit to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. 11. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary 12. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. It is important as parents and guardians to dialogue with your child about how he or she understands these concepts. This lesson will help them begin to understand to seek help in situations that may make them uncomfortable or unsure. It may be helpful to come up with additional situations that you and your child can discuss. Thank you for your support of the Circle of Grace program. It is essential and appreciated as we strive to provide the safest environment possible for our children. Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 2 Page 39
Lesson 3: Action Plan
Circle of Grace: Third Grade
Personal Action Plan
Steps to take to protect yourself:
1. Say, “No!”
2. Get Away.
3. Tell A Trusted Adult.
My trusted adults in addition to my parents are:
1._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
2._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
3._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
1. Say, “No!”
2. Get Away.
1._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
2._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
3._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
1. Say, “No!”
2. Get Away.
1._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
2._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
3._________________________________ Phone: ____________________
Dear Parents, The goal of Circle of Grace Lesson Three is for children to know and demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. We call this their “Action Plan”. They were taught the following: Steps to take to protect yourself: 1. Say, “No!” 2. Get Away. 3. Tell A Trusted Adult. Your child was given a card with this action plan on it. They were to write down at least three adults in addition to their parents they could turn to for help. We call each of these people a “trusted adult”. Instructions were given for them to take this card home and share the information with their parents. Please discuss with your child the people on his/her list. If your child names someone you find inappropriate, please help him/her to identify someone else. Provide phone numbers of these people so that your child may write them down on their Personal Action Plan Card. It is a good idea to contact these individuals to let them know you and your child have identified them as trusted adults. Being identified as a “trusted adult” will most likely make them feel honored as well as alert them to your safety plan for your child. Your child should put this list in a safe place where they can have easy access to it if they would need it. To help your child be well prepared to use the Action Plan in a range of possible situations, we offer you a few other scenarios that would be good to discuss with your child. 1. You are at a friend’s house, and they start to watch an R‐rated movie. What do you do? 2. You are walking home and notice that a car is slowly following you. What do you do? 3. Someone you don’t know well is offering to take you home from practice and says you can get an ice cream on the way home. What do you do? 4. You are on the Internet and pictures or words come up on the screen that make you uncomfortable. What do you do? 5. You’re riding your bike around the neighborhood on a really hot day and a neighbor you don’t really know invites you to come inside their air‐conditioned house to get a cold pop. What do you do? 6. You’re invited to a friend’s house but know his or her parents won’t be home. What do you do? Thank you for helping us help you keep your child safe! Circle of Grace – Grade 3: Lesson 3 Page 41
Post-Assessment Grade 3
Circle of Grace
Trusted Adult
Boundary
______________________
1. A border or limit that defines our Circle of Grace. It tells us whether
something belongs or does not belong in our Circle of Grace.
______________________
and all others.
______________________
True
False
4. Sometimes we have an uncomfortable feeling when we are with another
person. We need to pay attention to this warning feeling. It may be a signal
from the Holy Spirit to help keep us safe.
True
False
5. Unsafe touch is disrespectful, hurts, scares, or makes me feel
uncomfortable or confused.
True
False
6. Always talk to a trusted adult when a situation or secret makes me feel
unsafe or confused.
Safe
Unsafe
7. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad
told you not to watch.
Safe
Unsafe
Safe
Unsafe
9. Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe – even if the
person says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me.”
Complete the following.
10. The three steps in the ACTION plan are:
1. _______________________________
2. _______________________________
3. _______________________________
Post-Assessment Grade 3 - Key
Circle of Grace
Boundary
Trusted Adult
Boundary
1. A border or limit that defines our Circle of Grace. It tells us whether
something belongs or does not belong in our Circle of Grace.
Circle of Grace
Trusted Adult
and all others.
True
4. Sometimes we have an uncomfortable feeling when we are with another
person. We need to pay attention to this warning feeling. It may be a signal
from the Holy Spirit to help keep us safe.
True
5. Unsafe touch is disrespectful, hurts, scares, or makes me feel
uncomfortable or confused.
True
6. Always talk to a trusted adult when a situation or secret makes me feel
unsafe or confused.
Unsafe
7. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad
told you not to watch.
Safe
Unsafe
9. Someone touches you in a way that you don’t think is safe – even if the
person says it is safe and says, “This special time is between you and me.”
Complete the following.
10. The three steps in the ACTION plan are:
1.
Say NO
2.
Get away
3.
Tell a Trusted Adult
Grade 3 Evaluation
Leader ______________________________ Number of young people in class________
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check if each of the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Children understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to describe the Circle of Grace that God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Children can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Children can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Number of Children who got 70% or better on their pre‐ assessment. Number of Children who got below 70% on their pre‐ assessment. Number of Children who got 70% or better on the post‐ assessment. Number of Children who got below 70% on the post‐ assessment. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator or Director of Religious Education. Circle of Grace – Grade 3 Page 44
Circle of Grace
Philosophy
According to research, one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused by age eighteen.1 Many protection programs focus on “stranger danger,” however, up to ninety percent of the time the perpetrator of abuse is known to the child, such as a relative or family friend. Circle of Grace goes beyond just protection by helping children understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults.
•
•
•
•
•
•
If possible, it is always “best practice” to have two adults in the room during the lesson due to the sensitive nature of the material. •
Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our children and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. •
Your Administrator or Religious Education Director will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. •
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Circle of Grace – Grade 4: Vocabulary Page 7 Internet Safety Sometimes children reveal personal information or details about incidents that, in order to respect confidentiality, need to be handled outside of the classroom. If this happens, tell the child, “Thank you for sharing that, _________. That sounds really important. I will talk to you about that later” (at the end of class, at the break, as soon as humanly possible, etc.) When this happens, be sure you talk to the child at your first opportunity and alert the administration. Remember that you are the responsible reporter in cases of suspected abuse. This lesson compliments the following Catholic teachings: •
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Jesus’ life as a model for our own God calls us to be responsible for our actions Understand the importance of serving others as Jesus did God teaches us to lead a healthy life and make good choices Human life is sacred and must be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect We are called to respect the human body as sacred life Our conscience helps us to know what is right and to what we believe is right God calls us to be responsible for our own actions. Lesson Goal Children will come to understand the concept of a Circle of Grace in relation to use of the Internet. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to: 1. Understand the difference between a safe secret and an unsafe secret. 2. Recognize and define vocabulary that relate to the Internet. 3. List positive uses of the Internet. 4. Review and describe their Circle of Grace. 5. Identify behaviors that would be appropriate in relation to a child’s Circle of Grace when using the Internet. 6. Identify boundaries when using the Internet. 7. Formulate an action plan for safe use/safe exit of the Internet. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 8 Vocabulary Review 1. Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace.
2. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others.
3. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt oneself or others.
4. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when one thinks that someone, including oneself, might be hurt or get in trouble if one does not tell.
5. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help one to stay safe within one’s Circle of Grace. Trust will also include to be safe from one’s Circle of Grace to another person’s Circle of Grace.
6. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps one to stay safe in their Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace.
New 1. Blog: An on‐line journal. Personal stories can be posted or thoughts as in a personal journal. This is a public journal that anyone can access. 2. Chat room: The name given to a place or page in a web site or on line service where people can chat with each other by typing messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are in the chat room. 3. Flaming: Sending a deliberately confrontational message to others on the Internet. 4. Inappropriate Material: Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. 5. Instant Messaging (IM): Technology similar to that of chat rooms which notifies a user when a person is on‐line allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. 6. Netiquette: Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. 7. Personal Contact Information: Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located in the physical world, such as a telephone number or an address. 8. Phishing: An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence from e‐commerce sites. The fake messages generally link to websites that are similarly faked to look like the sites of the respected companies. On the sites you are directed to enter your personal information for authentication or confirmation purposes. The information, when submitted, goes to the thieves not to the “spoofed” company. 9. Predator: Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with the intent to do harm. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 9 Materials Needed: 1.
2.
3.
4.
Vocabulary Matching Game for each child (see the end of Grade 4 lesson) Vocabulary Matching Game Key for the leader (see the end of Grade 4 lessons) Chart paper or marking board for listing uses of the Internet Chairs/String Opening Prayer Leader calls class to prayer by asking children to join in the Sign of the Cross.
Then say together,
Holy Spirit, show us the way, Be with us in all we think, do, and say. Amen. It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There will be children who may have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. We want our children to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. Lesson Activities Getting Started Review Circle of Grace concepts: 1. We are all made in the image and likeness of God and therefore we are sacred and holy, deserving of great respect. 2. Jesus told us that he would always love us and His Spirit would always be with us. If we are always in His presence, we are always in a special, holy place. We call that place our Circle of Grace. 3. If we remember that we are in a Circle of Grace, that God is there with us and we are surrounded by His love, we will remember to behave with special respect for ourselves and for others. 4. Leader to reinforce the children’s understanding of the difference between a safe secret and an unsafe secret (see Vocabulary). Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 10 Activity The topic of this lesson is the use of the Internet. Have children make a list of constructive and destructive uses of the Internet. Think about the analogy of how the use of a hammer can be constructive or destructive. This may be a good analogy for the children. For example:
CONSTRUCTIVE Communication Information Entertainment DESTRUCTIVE Damage someone’s reputation Steal someone’s identity View inappropriate sites Leader assigns the children to complete the Vocabulary Matching Game either as individuals or with partners (see the end of the Grade 4 lesson). Discussion – Children’s Rules and Guidelines for Internet Safety Present and discuss the following (copy of these rules and guidelines are at the end of the lesson for the children to take home to their parents): Never give out personal information such as your address, telephone number, parents’ names and phone numbers, or where you go to school or grade level. Never assume someone is who they say they are. Treat everyone that you encounter online as a stranger using the same rules for dealing with strangers online as you would for strangers you see on the street. Never agree to meet someone that introduced themselves on the Internet without a parent’s or trusted adult’s approval. Never send a picture or anything else to someone who requests it. If you come across information on the Internet that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell a trusted adult immediately. Never respond to any messages or send any messages that are mean, threatening, or make anyone feel uncomfortable. Follow the rules established by your parents for computer and Internet usage. Never download or install software or do anything that could jeopardize a family’s privacy. Keep your Internet password secret and change it regularly. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 11 Discussion – Identify and maintain appropriate Internet boundaries List examples and discuss how one would know if there is a violation of boundaries. Leader, make sure the following points are covered. The goal is to start to develop an internal sense of conscience about appropriate Internet boundaries. Some suggested points to review: • If you feel unsure or unsafe, you are probably not “safe” in what you are doing. • It is important that you are comfortable with a trusted adult seeing what you are writing on the computer. • It is important that you are comfortable with a trusted adult seeing what you are looking at on the computer. • Could you say face to face to a person what you wrote about the person on the internet? • You will cause harm to yourself by getting good at lying. • Your Circle of Grace boundaries should not be crossed when you use the Internet. This is to keep you safe and respect others’ Circle of Grace. Activity – Telephone Game This activity is to help the children understand how stories or conversations on the Internet may occur and not be totally accurate or true. Suggested Instructions: 1. Seat 6‐8 children in a circle with backs to each other sitting so that the story can be heard by one person at a time. 2. Leader makes up a story with 3‐4 details (e.g. soccer game, sleepover, school activity). Possible stories: a. Three friends are going to go to the movie on Friday afternoon after school. They decide to go to the theater at the mall. One of their moms goes with them. At the movie they have popcorn and a soda. It is a funny movie that lasts two hours. After the movie they go out for pizza. b. The Saints had a soccer game on Saturday morning. They were playing the Knights. The game was played at Tranquility Park. The teams were playing for first place in the league. The final score was 3‐2 in favor of the Knights. c. An author came to visit our school. The author writes mystery stories. The author has written ten stories and had six of them published. The author lives in Montana on a ranch. He has three horses and a dog. 3. The leader has a ball of string that is stretched throughout all of the children (each child is able to touch part of the string). 4. Leader tells the story to the first child and surrenders to that child the tail of the string (that child now has the tail and the string that was between the leader and the first child. 5. That child moves to another child in the circle and hands off the stretched string and retells the story as heard from the leader. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 12 6. The story is retold until all in the circle have a turn. 7. The final person repeats the story as they recall it. That child now has all of the string in a ball or wad. 8. Discuss if the story is the same as when the story was first told or if details changed as the story was passed on. 9. The string may be replaced with Talking Sticks (Native American story telling) or cards or any other suitable objects for the children to surrender to each other as the story is passed along. Action Plan Pass out the Parent Information Sheet After reviewing the following information have the children write both of the action plans on the Parent Information Sheet. Instruct the children to take the Parent Information Sheet home. Scenario A: You are unsure or feel unsafe while viewing something or interacting with someone while using the computer. Action Plan 1. Find a trusted adult and show them what you are concerned about. 2. Review how you got to this point on the computer. 3. Have an adult help you exit the site. Scenario B: You are unsure or feel unsafe when you are asked by someone to view something on the computer which makes you uncomfortable. Action Plan 1. Walk away from the computer. 2. Tell a trusted adult. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 13 Vocabulary Matching Game A.
C.
E.
G.
WORD BANK INTERNET TERMS Chat Room B. Predator Blog D. Personal Contact Information Flaming F. Phishing Inappropriate Material H. Netiquette I. Instant Messaging INTERNET DEFINITIONS _____ Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with intent to do harm. _____ Sending a deliberate, confrontational message to others on the Internet. _____ Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. _____ Notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. _____ An online journal. Personal stories posted for anyone to access. _____ A place or page in a website or online where people can type messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are online. _____ Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located such as a telephone number or an address. _____ Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable or scared. _____ An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 14 Vocabulary Matching Game Key A.
C.
E.
G.
WORD BANK INTERNET TERMS Chat Room B. Predator Blog D. Personal Contact Information Flaming F. Phishing Inappropriate Material H. Netiquette I. Instant Messaging INTERNET DEFINITIONS __B__ Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with intent to do harm. __E__ Sending a deliberate, confrontational message to others on the Internet. __H_ Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. __I__ Notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. __C__ An online journal. Personal stories posted for anyone to access. __A__ A place or page in a website or online where people can type messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are online. __D__ Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located such as a telephone number or an address. __G__ Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable or scared. __F__ An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 15 Parent Information Sheet
Children’s Rules and Guidelines For Internet Safety
Never give out personal information such as your address, telephone number, parents’ names and phone numbers, or where you go to school or grade level.
Never assume someone is who they say they are.
Treat everyone that you encounter online as a stranger, using the same rules for dealing with strangers online as you would for strangers you see on the street.
Never agree to meet someone that introduced themselves on the Internet without a parent’s or trusted adult’s approval.
Never send a picture or anything else to someone who requests it.
If you comes across information on the Internet that makes you feel uncomfortable, tell a trusted adult immediately.
Never respond to any messages or send any messages that are mean, threatening, or make anyone feel uncomfortable.
Follow the rules established by your parents for computer and Internet usage.
Never download or install software or do anything that could jeopardize a family’s privacy.
Keep your Internet password secret and change it regularly. Action Plan A:__________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ Action Plan B:__________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________
Circle of Grace – Grade 4: Parent Sheet Page 16 Grade 4 Evaluation
Parish/School ____________________________________ City _______________________
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check if each of the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Children understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to describe the Circle of Grace that God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Children can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Children can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator or Director of Religious Education. Circle of Grace – Grade 4 Page 17 Circle of Grace
Philosophy
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•
Children/Young People will understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Children/Young People will be able to describe the Circle of Grace that God gives each of us. Children/Young People will be able to identify and maintain appropriate physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual boundaries. Children/Young People can identify all types of boundary violations. Children/Young People will demonstrate how to take action if any boundary is threatened or violated. www.usccb.org, or http://nccanch.acf.hhs.gov 1
•
Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, or catechist who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. •
The time frame for lessons may vary depending on size of class, age of children, amount of discussion, etc. •
Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our children and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. •
Your Administrator or Religious Education Director will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. •
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Circle of Grace – Grade 5: Vocabulary Page 7 Understanding the Influence of
the Media on our Circle of Grace
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Jesus’ life as a model for our own God calls us to be responsible for our actions Understand the importance of serving others as Jesus did God teaches us to lead a healthy life and make good choices Human life is sacred and must be respected Our conscience helps us to know what is right and do what we believe is right God calls us to be responsible for our own actions. Lesson Goal Children will be able to recognize the influence of the media on their Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Children will be able to:
1. Understand and describe their Circle of Grace. 2. Recognize that trusted adults help us stay safe in our Circle of Grace and help us respect others in their Circle of Grace. 3. Identify different types of media and how they influence our Circle of Grace in positive and negative ways. Vocabulary 1. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others. 2. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. 3. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, could be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 4. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 8 5. Trusted Adult: An adult that helps us say safe in our Circle of Grace and helps us respect others in their Circle of Grace. 6. Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. 7. Media: Mass communication formats (music, TV, magazines, movies, videos, Internet, computer games, books, advertisements, news, newspapers, radio, etc.) that provide education, information, entertainment, and advertising. 8. Inappropriate Media: Images or words, spoken or written, that make you feel uncomfortable or scared. Materials Needed 1.
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Circle of Grace Logo (see the end of Grade 5 lessons) Paper Pens or markers Blackboard/chalk or Whiteboard/markers Commandment Activity Signs (see the end of Grade 5 lessons) Opening Prayer: Leader calls the class to prayer by asking the children to quiet themselves and join in the Sign of the Cross. Then say together, Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do and say. Amen. Getting Started It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There will be children in every group who may have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. We want our children to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad.
Summarize Circle of Grace with the following: 1. Have children describe their Circle of Grace. It is helpful to have the Circle of Grace Logo available. a. We have learned about Circle of Grace before. Our Circle of Grace is the love and goodness of God that always surround us. b. God is with us and within us in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps us to remember that we belong to God. We are always in a special, holy place. c. If we can remember that we are in a Circle of Grace, with God and surrounded by His love, we will remember to behave with the respect for ourselves and others. Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 9 2. Identify what a trusted adult is and how they help protect you in your Circle of Grace. 3. Last year, you may have talked about the Internet and your Circle of Grace. How can the Internet be used in both safe and unsafe ways? 4. What are some of the rules for using the Internet in a safe manner so your boundaries will not be violated? Be sure the following are included in the responses: a. Never give out personal information. b. It is important that you are comfortable with a trusted adult seeing what you what you are writing on the computer. c. It is important that you are comfortable with a trusted adult seeing what you are looking at on the computer. d. If you are in a site where you feel like you should lie or if you wonder if what it says is true, you are not in a safe place. You should get a trusted adult to help you. Lesson Development Now we are going to talk about how all of the forms of media and mass communication influence on us in our Circle of Grace. We may never have considered media as violating our Circle of Grace. It can when it has negative words, images, or content that never should be in our Circle of Grace. 1. The media give us ways to communicate with many people. The Internet and magazines are two examples. Have children come up with other types of media and list them on the board (some other examples ‐ music, TV, movies, videos, computer games, books, advertisements, newspapers, radio, etc.). Be sure to include the Internet and magazines on the list on the board. 2. Media can be used for education, communication, information, and advertising. List these four functions on the board. Go back over the types of media listed on the board and have children name what function(s) each type of medium performs. Activity – Positive and Negative Influences of Media 1. Have children break into small groups. Pass out pens and paper. Break down the list of media forms on the board and assign some to each small group. Have groups list both positive and negative ways each form of medium can be used. You might want to assign the same types of media to more than one group to get a broad range of answers. 2. From the list on the board, have each small group rank the top three forms of media that influence them in a positive way and the top three that influence them in a negative way. Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 10 3. Gather children together as a large group. Take each form of medium on the board and have small groups report on positive and negative ways it can be used. 4. Have each group report on their choices for the top three media types that have a positive influence and the top three for negative influences. Tally the total to get the top three positive and negative influences for the class. Activity – Ten Commandments God gave us the Ten Commandments to help us know what is right to do even when other influences try to confuse or manipulate us. Today you are going to decide if you think examples from various forms of media support the Ten Commandments or work against our desire to follow the Commandments. 1. Post signs declaring one side of the room as “Media That Help Us to Obey the Ten Commandments”, the other side of the room as “Media That Do Not Help Us to Obey the Ten Commandments” and the transitional space between as “Neutral to the Ten Commandments” (samples of signs are at the end of the lesson). 2. Name a type of medium and have children stand where they think it belongs in the spectrum of supporting or not supporting our desire to obey the Commandments. 3. Now ask children to stand where they believe a particular form of medium is on the spectrum when it has a particular action in it. Some examples: a) You are watching TV and someone is punching another person. b) You read an article in the newspaper where a firefighter saves a family from a house fire. Have children do this with all the major forms of media that are written on the board. Review 1. What caused you to move? What changed in the medium? 2. Media can give us both positive and negative information. God gave us the freedom to choose our own actions. How do we use the media in a way that helps us make good choices (e.g. choose media sources that support the Ten Commandments, the teachings of our Catholic faith, our parents, and trusted adults)? 3. What is the purpose of the message that parents and Trusted Adults give us (e.g. to teach, protect, love)? What is the purpose of the influence our Catholic faith has on our lives (e.g. to teach, protect, love)? What is the purpose of the messages that are conveyed by the media (e.g. to sell things, influence your decisions, manipulate your opinions)? 4. What can we do if we are not sure if a type of medium is a positive or a negative influence? We can always turn to a Trusted Adult to help us know if a type of medium is a good influence and to help us make decisions that keep us safe in our Circle of Grace. 5. Ask the children to quietly reflect on all the ways that the media influence our thinking and behavior every day. Remind them that as Catholics, God has given us the Ten Commandments, Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 11 the teachings of our Catholic faith, and our parents and trusted adults to help us make decisions and keep us safe in our Circle of Grace. 6. Distribute the Parent Take Home Activity. Closing Prayer Leader calls the class to prayer by asking the children to quiet themselves and join in the Sign of the Cross. Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. (Optional) Have the children stand and sing with you the song “This is Holy Ground” or “Prayer for
Peace” or other appropriate song or prayer.
Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 12 Opening Prayer Holy Spirit, show us the way. Be with us in all we think, do and say. Amen. Closing Prayer Thank you, God, for always being with me in my Circle of Grace. Thank you for the gift of the Holy Spirit who helps me know what is good. Thank you for giving me people who care about me and want me to be safe. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 13 Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 14 MEDIA THAT HELP US TO OBEY THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Circle of Grace – Grade 5 MEDIA THAT ARE NEUTRAL TO THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Circle of Grace – Grade 5 MEDIA THAT DO NOT HELP US TO OBEY THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Grade 5 Parent Take Home Activity
Dear Parent, We presented the Circle of Grace Lesson “Understanding the Influence of the Media on our Circle of Grace” to your child. The goal of the lesson was to help the children recognize that all forms of media influence our Circle of Grace. The media can have a positive or negative influence in our desire to obey the Ten Commandments and live our faith to its fullest. Please choose a form of medium (TV show, Movie, Newspaper article, Video Game, etc.) to review with your child. Discuss the influence of what you see, hear, or read has on their Circle of Grace. Thank you for your support of the Circle of Grace program. It is essential and appreciated as we strive to provide the safest possible environment for our children. Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 18 Grade 5 Evaluation
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check if each of the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Children understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to describe the Circle of Grace that God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Children will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Children can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Children can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator or Director of Religious Education. Circle of Grace – Grade 5 Page 19 Circle of Grace
Philosophy
The Catholic Church teaches that God has created each of us as unique and special. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created “male and female in God’s image” and that God saw this as “very good.” In that goodness, we are meant to respect ourselves and everyone else as persons created and loved by God. Adults assist young people to recognize God’s love by helping them to understand that each of us lives and moves in a Circle of Grace. You can imagine your own Circle of Grace by putting your arms above your head then circle down in front of your body including side to side. This circle, front to back, holds who you are in your body and through your senses. It holds your very essence in mind, heart, soul, and sexuality. Why is it important to help our young people understand the Circle of Grace?
God intends our relationships in life to be experiences of divine love. Respectful, nurturing, loving relationships increase our understanding of our own value and help us to love others. It is never too early to help young people understand how very special they are and how relationships in life are called to be sacred. Understanding this can help them to protect the special person they are and to be respectful of others. Adults, as they strive to provide a safe and protective environment, hold the responsibility to help young people understand and respect their own dignity and that of others. A truly safe and protective environment is one where young people recognize when they are safe or unsafe and know how to bring their concerns, fears, and uncertainties to the trusted adults in their lives. How is the Circle of Grace Program different from other protection programs?
According to research, one in four girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused by age eighteen.1 Many protection programs focus on “stranger danger,” however, up to ninety percent of the time the perpetrator of abuse is known to the young person such as a relative or family friend. Circle of Grace goes beyond just protection by helping young people understand the sacredness of who they are and how to seek help through their relationships with trusted adults. Goal of the Circle of Grace Program - Grades K-12
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Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, catechist, or youth minister who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. Every leader should read the Philosophy and Goals to better understand and prepare to teach the Circle of Grace. The time frame for lessons may vary depending on size of class, age of young people, amount of discussion, etc. Vocabularies with definitions are intended for the leader. The explanation of vocabulary should be integrated within the context of the lessons to assist the young people in their understanding of the Circle of Grace Program. The depth of the young people’s understanding will depend upon their age and developmental stage. A master vocabulary list of the Circle of Grace Program is included in all lesson plans. The pertinent vocabulary is listed in each lesson. If possible it is always “best practice” to have two adults in the room during the lesson due to the sensitive nature of the material. There should be no more than two to three weeks between the last two lessons. Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our young people and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. There is a pre and post assessment for this grade. This tool will assist in evaluating the young people’s understanding and assimilation of the concepts. The results are to be recorded on the grade evaluation and are not to be shared with the young people. Your Administrator, Religious Education Director, or Youth Minister Director will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. Evaluations for each grade are to be completed and returned to the School Administrator or the Director of Religious Education/Formation. The evaluations will be used to complete the Summary Evaluation that is sent to the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
for ongoing improvement of the program and for the audit records. Circle of Grace – Grade 6 Page 2 Circle of Grace Vocabulary
Words introduced in Kindergarten Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Words Introduced in First Grade Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. Words Introduced in Second Grade No new words. Circle of Grace – Grade 6 Page 3
Words Introduced in Third Grade Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary. Words Introduced in Fourth Grade Blog: An online journal. Personal stories or thoughts can be posted as in a personal journal. This is a public journal that anyone can access. Chat Room: The name given to a place or page in a website or online service where people can chat with each other by typing messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are in the chat room. Flaming: Sending a deliberately confrontational message to others on the Internet. Inappropriate Material: Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Instant messaging (IM): Technology similar to that of chat rooms which notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. Netiquette: Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. Personal Contact Information: Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located in the physical world, such as a telephone number or an address. Phishing: An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence from e‐commerce sites. The fake messages generally link to websites that are similarly faked to look like the sites of the respected companies. On the sites you are directed to enter your personal information for authentication or confirmation purposes. The information, when submitted, goes to the thieves, not to the “spoofed” company. Predator: Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with the intent to do harm. Words Introduced in Fifth Grade Media: Mass communication formats (music, TV, magazines, movies, videos, Internet, computer games, books, advertisements, news, newspapers, radio, etc.) which provide education, information, entertainment, and advertising. Inappropriate Media: Images or words, spoken or written, that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Circle of Grace – Grade 6 Page 4
Intimidation: Using words or actions to threaten, scare, or overpower another person. Intimidation may also include bringing public attention to another person’s weaknesses. Jealousy: Being possessive of another person’s time, property, or body. Status: Using one’s age, profession, popularity, position, or power to manipulate. Words Introduced in Tenth Grade Circle of Virtue: Our response to the invitation of God’s grace by cultivating goodness and virtue in our lives. Words Introduced in Eleventh Grade Moral Responsibility: As we grow into mature adults, we must take greater responsibility for protecting ourselves and others from violations of God’s plan for our spiritual, sexual, and moral lives. Freely Chosen Violations: Every person is responsible for those violations they freely choose and know are wrong. (We should never blame or accuse persons to the extent that they are victims of abuse and are manipulated in unequal relationships.) Victim: A person who has suffered injury/harm (physical or emotional) by forces beyond his or her control and not of his or her personal responsibility. Survivor: A person who not only lives through but thrives despite abuse, affliction, or adversity. Adaptations3: Lust: Convincing a victim that it is normal to have intense sexual desire. Coercive Properties: Using words that threaten or intimidate a victim. Possessiveness: Treating a victim like an object. Repetitiveness: Constantly using the same words to gain a victim’s trust. Control: Words used to reinforce position as the “boss”. Emotional Groomer4: A person who manipulates another’s emotions to skillfully gain control of that person. Language Cons5: Words and phrases or “lines” that groomers use to trick and manipulate their targets. Boundaries6: Healthy physical and emotional distance between persons. Set limits in relationships. Boundaries define where you end and where someone else begins and keeps you safe in your Circle of Grace. Ibid. McGee, Kathleen M. and Laura J. Buddenberg Unmasking Sexual Con Games 3rd Edition A Teen’s guide to Avoiding Emotional Grooming and Dating Violence (Boys Town NE: Boys Town Press, 2003), used with permission. 5 Ibid. 3
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Same‐Gender Friendships7: Learning and practicing what it means to be a genuine friend to people of the same gender. Opposite‐Gender Friendships8: Learning and practicing how to have fun with and appreciate the other gender. Dating Steps:9 Friendly Dating: Includes group dating and single dating. The purpose is to get to know many different people. Helps to shape your idea of whom you might want to date seriously. It is wise to go no further than holding hands or hugging. Steady Friendly Dating: Dating one person exclusively while maintaining appropriate emotional and sexual boundaries. Goes no further than hugging or kissing. Serious Steady Dating: Is this the spouse for me? Begin examining relationship in light of marriage. Maintains same boundaries as listed above. Engagement: Couple prepares for life‐long, committed, bonded relationship. Marriage: Bonding on all levels – emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual. Words Introduced in Twelfth Grade No new words. Ibid. Ibid. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid. 6
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Lesson 1
Circle of Grace
Pieces of the Puzzle
Sometimes young people reveal personal information or details about incidents that, in order to respect confidentiality, need to be handled outside of the group environment. If this happens, tell the young person, “Thank you for sharing that, ________. That sounds really important. I will talk to you about that later (at the end of class, at the break, as soon as humanly possible, etc.).” When this happens, be sure you talk to the young person at your first opportunity and alert the administration. Remember that you are the responsible reporter in cases of suspected abuse.
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Belief in the works and presence of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Christian faith requires a relationship with God and others We are called to model our faith in our words and actions We are called to make moral decisions consistent with Catholic teaching Vocations are God’s call to all We are all Children of God because of God’s creation and covenants Individual and cultural differences are gifts from God that should be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect Skills such as listening, self‐disclosure, and compromise are necessary for faith filled communications with others. Lesson Goal Young People will come to a deeper understanding of their Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Young people will be able to: 1. Understand that God’s presence is within us and around us creating our unique Circle of Grace. 2. Identify gifts and talents that make each person unique. 3. Appreciate that God gave these gifts and talents to everyone. 4. Understand that every person has a special place in God’s creation. Vocabulary 1.
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Admiration: A feeling of high regard or sense of awe. Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. Dream: A hope or aspiration that we imagine will become real. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 8
6. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. 7. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 8. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 9. Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. 10. Talent: A special God‐given ability or gift. 11. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 12. Value: A principle, standard, or quality considered desirable. Materials Needed 1. Pre‐assessment for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 2. Pens, pencils, colored pencils, crayons, or markers 3. Scissors 4. Tape or glue 5. Circle of Grace Logo (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 6. Blank puzzle pieces (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 7. Magazines (provided or approved by leader) 8. Activity Handout for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 9. Closing Prayer Handout (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 10. Optional Opening Prayer (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) Opening Prayer How you arrange the young people depends on the size of your group. Invite them to sit or stand with sufficient space between them. Ask them to quiet themselves and recognize God’s presence in them. Please close your eyes as I read to you from the Gospel of John, words that Jesus spoke to his disciples. (John 14:15‐18 from the New American Bible) If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. God did send an Advocate, the Spirit of truth whom we usually call the Holy Spirit. Notice how the Holy Spirit is with you and in your Circle of Grace as you end this prayer. Think of a time when God was present working in your life. Spend a few minutes thinking about this. When you are finished and your prayer has ended, you may open your eyes. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 9
Optional: Allow 30‐60 seconds for reflection. When most of the young people have opened their eyes, ask the following question. Allow a few of them to share if they wish. You may choose to talk about a time when you knew God was very present for you. If possible, allow the young people to share first. Would anyone like to talk about a time when you knew God was with you? (Optional extended prayer ‐ see end of Grade 6 lessons) Getting Started Review
1. Distribute and collect the pre‐assessment (see the end of Grade 6 lessons). The results will be recorded on the evaluation. 2. Suggested opening: It is important that we understand our Circle of Grace. We listened to Scripture tell us of Jesus’ promise to come to us, that the Holy Spirit of God would dwell within us and be with us. We use our arms to help imagine just how close God is to us at all times. 3. Leader demonstrates the “Sensing our Circle of Grace” exercise: Raise your hands above your head and then bring your arms slowly down keeping them outstretched. Extend your arms in front of you and then behind you embracing all of the space around you knowing that God is in this space with you. Then slowly reach down to your feet. This is your Circle of Grace. You are in it. 4. Jesus told us that he would always love us and always be with us. If God is always with us, we are always in a special, holy place. That place is our Circle of Grace. This is the place the Holy Spirit is with us and within us. 5. Show young people the Circle of Grace symbol. Ask what they see in the symbol. Prompt if needed for the following parts to be identified: a. Red Circle of Grace Words ‐ Color of the Holy Spirit b. Person ‐ Child of God c. Yellow Circle ‐ Grace d. Dove ‐ Holy Spirit e. Blue Background ‐ the world around us Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 10
6. Reinforce the following concepts: a. We are in a Circle of Grace with God and surrounded by God’s love. We will behave with respect for ourselves and for others. b. We are sacred, holy, and unique because God has created each of us in His image and likeness. Lesson Development Presentation – The Puzzle that is You •
Each of us is a special and unique person with our own Circle of Grace. Have you ever worked a jigsaw puzzle? In a way, the Kingdom of God is like a whole puzzle, and each of us is a unique piece of that puzzle. •
Each of us is unique, not like anyone else who has ever lived. Our piece of the puzzle will not fit just anywhere. We are not interchangeable. •
Our shape and design are created by God to be one of a kind. There is no other person in the world like you. No one else can ever take your place in the Kingdom of God. •
Jigsaw puzzle pieces are cut and don’t change. We are not like that. •
God created us with a dream in mind, and we get to help with the dream. It is as if we are puzzle pieces that have to cooperate for us to be fully who God wants us to be. •
One way we cooperate is to know what our gifts and talents are and to use them. •
It is important that we respect and value who we are and who others are. Activity 1. Everyone will take a puzzle piece and make it into something that will help the rest of us understand more about who you are. You can draw on it; make a collage using pictures, etc. Decorate your puzzle piece with those things that say something about the real you. Then cut out the puzzle piece and write your name on the back. 2. Before you begin, ask yourself the questions from the handout and write out your responses (copy of handout at end of the Grade 6 lessons): • What are some things that people have told you that you are good at? God often lets you see your gifts and talents through other people. • Whom do you admire? What qualities in them would you like to develop in yourself? This is God’s way of helping you recognize qualities you would like to imitate. • What are some things that you enjoy doing? Do you like art or writing? Do you take care of animals or the environment? Using your special gifts brings pleasure to you and to God. • What are your hopes and dreams for yourself? What would you like to be or to do? Our hopes and dreams are special gifts that God uses to help us understand God’s dream for us. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 11
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What are some special things about your personality? Are you patient or kind? Do you have a great smile, or are you always ready to help out? Are you funny? Do you notice when others are hurting? When the young people are finished, collect the puzzle pieces to save for use in lesson 2. Closing Prayer10 (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) Leader: But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine. Response: Eternal God, we bear your name, your imprint. Leader: For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior. Response: You have impressed your Son, your likeness, on us and we are yours. Leader: Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you. Response: We ask you that we may mirror your life in us and reflect your grace in all our human relationships as Christ our brother did in serving this world today and every day, forever and ever. All: Amen. Isaiah 43:1‐4 with adaptation from Van Breeman, Peter SJ, The God Who Won’t Let Go. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2001. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 12
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Lesson 2
Safe Relationships
Putting the Puzzle together
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Belief in the works and presence of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Christian faith requires a relationship with God and others We are called to model our faith in our words and actions We are called to make moral decisions consistent with Catholic teaching Vocations are God’s call to all We are all Children of god because of God’s creation and covenants Individual and cultural differences are gifts from God that should be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect Skills such as listening, self‐disclosure, and compromise are necessary for faith filled communications with others. Lesson Goal Young people will be better able to identify, form, and maintain healthy relationships. Lesson Objectives Young people will be able to: 1. Understand that we are all inherently precious and worthy of respect because we are created in God’s image. 2. Identify and articulate elements of healthy relationships. 3. Apply positive behaviors in relationships with God, self, and others. Vocabulary 1. Empathy: The ability to understand the feelings of another person. 2. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 3. Healthy: That which is sound and vigorous in mind, body, and spirit. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 13
4. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. 5. Relationship: A connection with God or others. 6. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 7. Response: Something said or done as a reaction or answer. 8. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. 9. Safe Touch: Touch that respects me and others. 10. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 11. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 12. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 13. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. 14. Unsafe touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Materials Needed 1. Completed puzzle pieces from the previous lesson (save these decorated and signed puzzle pieces for lesson 4). 2. Whiteboard or chalkboard 3. Dry erase markers in a variety of bright colors and one black marker or colored chalk 4. Optional Feeling Faces Chart (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 5. Opening and Closing Prayer Handout (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 6. Optional Extended Opening and Closing Prayer (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 7. Parent Letter (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) Parent Letter Instructions: The Parent Letter is not to be sent home with young people due to the sensitive information regarding unsafe sexual behaviors. Suggested methods of delivery to parents: include in a mailing, hand to parents personally, or make available at the parish office for parents to pick up. AGAIN: DO NOT send the parent letter home with the young people. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 14
Opening Prayer God sees the goodness in each of us and continues to bless us. God wants us to live in His presence and love, our Circle of Grace. God entrusts us with His grace so that we might help in His work of caring for ourselves and others filled with the love of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. (Optional extended prayer, see the end of the Grade 6 lessons) Getting Started Have the young people put their puzzle pieces together to form a whole puzzle. Briefly review: • How they form a whole that is interesting and colorful. • Have them look at how each piece adds something special. Without any one piece there would be a hole ‐ something missing. Each piece represents one of them. • Emphasize how the whole puzzle represents our community and our world. Each young person is a special, interesting part of that community and world. Each young person adds something that the rest of us need. • The puzzle piece that each young person created is a symbol of themselves. These symbols deserve respect. How do we show respect for them? Have the young people brainstorm ideas. Possible responses include: •
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Don’t laugh at what someone else put on their puzzle piece. Don’t destroy or damage the puzzle. Admire how others have decorated their puzzle piece even though it is different than yours. • Touch them only with respect. Summary comments: •
Notice that the pieces fit together. As we begin to discover where we fit in the world, we make connections with others called relationships. •
Healthy relationships are those in which the Circle of Grace of ourselves and others is respected. •
We feel honored and valuable as Children of God. These relationships help us to be safe and to be the unique puzzle piece we are meant to be. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 15
Lesson Development Present the following: • We all have many relationships. We have relationships with our parents, our brothers, and sisters. Who are some of the other people that we have relationships with? Allow the young people to respond. Possible responses include leaders, friends, coaches, bus driver, favorite clerk at the store, other relatives, classmates, etc. •
How can we tell when a relationship is safe? What is it like to have your Circle of Grace respected and valued? These are just questions to ask for the young people to think about but do not require a response. •
God has given us signals to help us know when we are safe, valued, and respected. They are called feelings and are one of the ways the Holy Spirit helps us. Activity Leader will make a chart on the board entitled “Actions and Words”. Allow the young people to name actions and words that are safe and belong in their Circle of Grace by responding to the following: •
Think of relationships that are good for you and the other person. •
What is it like to be respected? •
What do people do or say when they respect me? • What kinds of things do I do and say when I respect someone else? After the list is compiled, ask the young people to talk about how these actions and/or words might make them feel. (May use optional labeled feeling chart. See the end of the Grade 6 lessons.) Can you see the connection between the way people treat you and how you feel? Our feelings are signals from God about what is going on inside us. They are neither good nor bad. We should pay attention to them, name them, and talk to God about them. Would everyone respond the same way to the same action? Probably not. Why? Perhaps it is because we are all different. But one thing we have in common is that God gave us the ability to decide how we will respond. We can ask the Holy Spirit to help us know how to respond in a way that keeps us safe and also respects others. We cannot control how others act and talk but we can decide how we are going to act. Remember: The Parent Letter is not to be sent home with young people due to the sensitive information regarding unsafe sexual behaviors. Suggested methods of delivery to parents: include in a mailing, hand to parents personally, make available at the parish office for parents to pick up. AGAIN: DO NOT send the parent letter home with the young people. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 16
Closing prayer Lord, teach us to have loving and respectful relationships, ones in which we feel safe and valued. Guide us to treat ourselves and others with respect, honoring all of our Circle of Grace. Help us to model your unconditional love, realizing we need to value everyone, even those we do not like or who are different from us. Enlighten us to know that God has created each of us to be an important piece of His puzzle, His creation of life. Give us courage and desire to build healthy relationships prompt us to value others as Children of God lead all to participate in His masterpiece, the glorious Kingdom of God. Amen. Optional extended closing prayer (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 17
Lesson 3
Boundaries
Every Piece has Its Border
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Belief in the works and presence of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Christian faith requires a relationship with God and others We are called to model our faith in our words and actions We are called to make moral decisions consistent with Catholic teaching Vocations are God’s call to all We are all Children of God because of God’s creation and covenants Individual and cultural differences are gifts from God that should be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect Skills such as listening, self‐disclosure, and compromise are necessary for faith filled communications with others.
Lesson Goal Young people will be better able to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships. Lesson Objectives Young People will be able to: 1. Recognize safe and unsafe situations in a person’s Circle of Grace. 2. Acknowledge and respect the boundaries surrounding their own Circle of Grace and those of others. 3. Identify actions or words that violate one’s Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1. Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. 2. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) that gives me information about others or myself. 3. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. 4. Secret: Something I know but do not tell. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 18
Safe secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone including me might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. 5. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. 6. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 7. Violation: A break or infringement of another person’s rights. Materials Needed 1. Safe and Unsafe Handout for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 2. Optional Feeling Faces Chart (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 3. Guidelines for Protecting Boundaries Handout for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) Opening Prayer Today we will be doing a quiet prayer. This is a prayer between you and Jesus. Put down anything that is in your hands and sit in a way that will be comfortable for a while. Close your eyes and imagine that you are in a place where you would feel very safe. (Pause) Last time we talked about feelings and how feelings can be signals from God to help us understand more about what is going on in our lives. It is important that we pay attention to these feelings because they can help us know when we are safe and when we are not. They can help us know when we have been respected or hurt. And they can help us know who is trustworthy. Take a moment and notice what you are feeling like inside right now. Don’t try to change how you feel ‐ just notice. Maybe there is excitement . . . worry . . . anger . . . happiness . . . sadness ‐ or something that is hard to name. You may find more than one feeling happening at the same time. You may even have feelings that are confusing. Just hold these feelings as valuable signals about what is going on within you right now. Imagine that your hands are gently holding them. Now imagine that Jesus is walking up to you. He is here to help you hold these feelings and know how to deal with them. He puts his hands under yours very gently. He looks at you, and you know deep in your heart that he really cares about you and wants what is best for you. In the silence of your heart, let yourself share with him whatever you would like to say about these feelings. And then listen to what he says to you in return. We will have a few minutes of quiet so everyone can share their thoughts and feelings with Jesus. Pause for several minutes. When you are ready, open your eyes and we will begin our lesson. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 19
Optional: the leader may choose to share something about her/his own experience of prayer. For example, the leader may share that they were worried about a situation in their life. They could talk about what it was like to let Jesus help them to deal with this feeling of worry. This should be short and not too personal. The situation should not be described. The leader is modeling for the young people how to pray about feelings. Getting Started Today, we will be talking about the boundaries of our Circle of Grace. As we begin to understand our Circle of Grace as something real that surrounds us always, we begin to realize that there are some things we can do to protect our Circle of Grace and those of others. Jesus gives us some very important guidelines about how we can form and keep our relationships safe and healthy. He says simply to love God above all things and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Lesson Development Discussion Provide for each young person: • A paper that has SAFE and UNSAFE (see the end of Grade 6 lessons). Ask them to fold it in half and make a tent. • Guidelines for Protecting Boundaries Handout Special note to leaders
It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There may be young people in every group who have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. Please be sensitive to this possibility. God is with them even during difficult times.
Review Present the following: • Today we are going to talk about some specific situations. • Each of you has a sheet of paper with SAFE on one half and UNSAFE on the other. Fold it in half and make a tent. • When I read the scenario, place your tent on your desk with your answer facing me. • Talking about these situations will help you know in the future what kinds of situations might violate your Circle of Grace or that of another person. The purpose of this activity is to help young people identify situations that might violate the boundary of their Circle of Grace. These scenarios may be used as a time to review the young person’s sacredness as taught by previous lessons. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 20
The leader reads each scenario and allows the young people to respond. Notice how the young people respond. Pay close attention to their responses, especially noticing any young person who consistently responds incorrectly. This is not to be addressed in the class but may be a “red flag” that that young person is in unsafe situations. Consult with the Director of Religious Education or the Principal if you become aware of such a situation. Scenarios 1. A teacher or leader comments about how you are dressed that day while looking at you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Is this safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is unsafe. What is unsafe here? • An adult talks about things that make you feel uncomfortable. • Differences in age and status influence your response. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 2. One of the popular church leaders in your parish invites you to a special meeting or trip. The adult leader gives you a permission slip to take to your parents but tells you not to tell other adult leaders in the church because he wants this to be your special time together. Is this safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is confusing and unsafe. What is unsafe here? • The adult in this scenario attempts to get the young person to keep a secret from parents or other respected adults. When in a situation like this, you should let your parents and other trusted adults know that this adult leader is telling you to keep a secret from them. Then your parents and other adults who care about you have more information about the situation and can better keep you safe. • The adult is planning private activities with a young person. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 3. You are the first one in your family to get home after school. Your adult neighbor, whom you have known since kindergarten, often waves at you and calls on the phone to check on you. One day you hear a funny noise in the house when you are alone. You call your neighbor to ask for help. The neighbor says he and his wife will be over and tells you to call your parents and let them know what is going on. Is this situation safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is safe. Why is it safe? • It is important to identify trusted adults who are respectful of your Circle of Grace and their own. • Two adults are coming over and parents are aware of the situation. • The adult told the young person to notify parents. He did not try to keep it a secret. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 21
4. An instructor at your school invites you and a friend to go to a movie on Friday night. The instructor offers to take you and bring you home. He says he will pay for the movie and the refreshments. Is the situation safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation may be confusing. But it is not safe. • An adult may lure young people into his company with gifts or special information. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 5. One of your coaches thinks you can make the select team if you work a little harder on some skills. The coach offers to stay late and work one on one with you to help improve skills after everyone else has gone home. Pause. This situation is unsafe. What is unsafe here? • An adult arranges to be with a young person alone. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 6. A new friend asks you to come over and blog and play with his webcam. You go over to the friend’s house and he asks you to take your shirt off in front of his webcam. You decide to keep your school sweatshirt on and instead just make funny faces in the camera. Is this safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is confusing but unsafe. What is unsafe here? • Removing clothing is not an appropriate request or action. • The young person still revealed personal information via his/her school sweatshirt. • The young person was pressured into doing something that was unsafe instead of saying, “No,” and leaving. • Webcam information is widely distributed to millions of unknown persons. This can be viewed and manipulated without young person’s knowledge or permission. This would include images sent via cell phones. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 7. Your best friend confides in you that she tried some beer at a party she attended last week. She says it made her laugh and made her sick. She says it was not a great experience but she asks you to keep it secret from your parents and hers. Pause. This situation is not safe. What is unsafe here? • A young person is asked to keep a secret from an adult. • The friend is put at risk for future problems. • The person who provided the alcohol is protected. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 22
8. A person you know from the Internet wants to meet you at the mall this weekend. You have been IM (instant messaging) for six months. Is this situation safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is unsafe. What is unsafe here? • You have never met the person face‐to‐face. • You do not really know this person. • You have no way to verify whatever this person has said. • You have no way of knowing who else has seen the information that you have shared. They may have cut and pasted the information into a blog or website or shared it with a group of friends. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 9. You stay overnight at a friend’s house. After his/her parent’s go to bed, your friend starts to sneak out to go to another friend’s house where there is a party going on. Your friend expects you to go. You don’t want to go. You tell your friend that you feel sick and want to call your parents to come and get you. Is this situation safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is unsafe but the young person’s response is safe. Why? • The young person has listened to his/her feelings (instincts) that tell him/her not to go to the party. • The young person states his/her need to call parents. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) 10. You are watching TV without adult supervision. You have a chance to choose what you want to watch without your parents telling you to turn it off. The show you are watching features people who are dressed with very little on. They are dancing in a suggestive manner by themselves and with other people. You know your parents would disapprove but you continue to watch this channel. Is this situation safe or unsafe? Pause. This situation is unsafe. What is unsafe here? • Watching shows that feature people being disrespectful to their own Circle of Grace does not help you to respect and protect yours and those of others. • It is important to know what boundaries you should set for yourself regarding what you watch, read, listen to, etc., when you are alone in order to protect your Circle of Grace. • When you routinely view images that are inappropriate, you become desensitized to what is safe and unsafe. What would need to change to make this situation safe? (Brainstorm ideas with the young people to address the unsafe circumstances listed above.) Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 23
Review •
Review the “Guidelines for Protecting Boundaries” Handout. •
We have been using puzzle pieces as symbols for ourselves. We have seen the unique designs that have made each piece special just as each of us is special. •
When we join with other pieces to create a pattern, just as when we join with other people to form healthy relationships, we can see how we all fit into God’s plan as the puzzle would not be complete without your piece. God’s plan would not be complete without you. •
By forming and respecting healthy relationships we are following the example of Jesus who came to Earth to be one of us. He modeled healthy relationships and became the essential piece of God’s plan for salvation. •
Today, we have learned some very important ways to protect our own boundaries and those of others. •
No one has the right to violate our boundaries. •
Just as we have a right to protect our boundaries, we also have a responsibility to protect the boundaries of others. •
By protecting our boundaries and those of others, we keep ourselves and others Circle of Grace safe, living more fully in the grace which God gives us. Closing Prayer Each night when you go to bed, it’s a great idea to think back over your day and name the feelings of the day and tell Jesus. Remember that Jesus is with us in good times and bad. It may take a while to learn to listen. Sometimes we think prayer is all about us talking. But if we listen, we will eventually notice that God is responding ‐ though not necessarily in the way we might expect. Close your eyes and think about tonight when you go to bed. What will you share with Jesus about your day? What will you ask Him? PAUSE: We ask for patience and openness to truly hear His response. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 24
Lesson 4
Safety PLAAN
When Something Doesn’t Fit
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Belief in the works and presence of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Christian faith requires a relationship with God and others We are called to model our faith in our words and actions We are called to make moral decisions consistent with Catholic teaching Vocations are God’s call to all We are all Children of God because of God’s creation and covenants Individual and cultural differences are gifts from God that should be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect Skills such as listening, self‐disclosure, and compromise are necessary for faith filled communications with others. Lesson Goal Young people will be better able to safeguard their Circle of Grace from violations. Lesson Objectives Young person will be able to: 1. Assess threats to their own Circle of Grace and those of others. 2. Comprehend that as a precious young person of God they are authorized to defend the integrity of their Circle of Grace from all violations. 3. Learn appropriate responses to perceived threats to ensure their physical and spiritual safety. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 25
Vocabulary 1. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 2. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Materials Needed 1. Whiteboard or chalkboard 2. Decorated and signed Puzzle Pieces created in Lesson 2 3. Copy of “Feeling Faces Chart/No Labels” handout for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 4. Copy of “Trusted Adult Home Activity Sheet for Parents” for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) 5. Optional background music 6. Post‐Assessment for each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons) Opening Prayer Invite young people into their preferred prayer posture, sitting in a circle on the floor or standing at their desks. Now it is time to quiet ourselves and call to mind the presence of the Circle of Grace that surrounds us at all times. Let us invite the Holy Spirit to be present in our hearts. As the Spirit fills us we are filled with a sense of peace and trust. We know that we are in a place that is safe – a place where we can ask for help. Please listen as I read the following passage from the gospel of Luke 11:9‐13. And I tell you, ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?11
The Leader continues: So as Jesus instructs us, we bring our petitions to the Lord. Please respond, “Come, Holy Spirit.” When we try to find our special place in God’s plan… Come, Holy Spirit. When we are feeling grateful for the gifts and talents that make us special… Come, Holy Spirit. When we celebrate the things that make us different… New American Bible. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 11
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Come, Holy Spirit. When we enter into relationships… Come, Holy Spirit. When we experience feelings that make us feel confused… Come, Holy Spirit. When we need someone to listen and understand… Come, Holy Spirit. For all of the intentions that we hold in the silence of our hearts… Come, Holy Spirit. Amen. Getting Started Ask the following questions to review prior lessons: • What are some of the unsafe situations that we talked about in the last lesson? • What unsafe relationships might even be dangerous? •
All unsafe relationships have the potential to become dangerous. Anytime a person is in a relationship where the other does not respect the Circle of Grace, it is a time when hurt and damage may occur. Unsafe relationships are particularly hurtful and dangerous when there is abuse. Do you think most young people tell an adult when something unsafe happens to them? No, they don’t tell, especially when the situation involves a family member. Many times unsafe situations happen when there are no witnesses. Sometimes young people are afraid that they will not be believed if they do tell someone. However, young people who are in confusing or unsafe situations should always tell a trusted adult. Lesson Development Introduction 1. Last time, we began to realize that there are some things that we can do to protect our Circle of Grace and those of others. We learned about how to identify situations that were safe and unsafe. Today we will learn some additional tools that we can practice to stay safe. 2. Write on the board: P ‐ Protect L ‐ Listen A ‐ Ask A ‐ Act N ‐ Notify Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 27
3. Today we are going to talk about what to do when you think you might be in an unsafe situation and what you can do to protect yourself. We have a plan. (Leader points to the letters “PLAAN” on the board.) Present the following: 1. The first letter “P” reminds us to “Protect with respect.” Ask, “How do you think respect can help us protect our Circle of Grace?” Answers should include: respecting ourselves as a Child of God; respecting others because they are also Children of God, keeping unsafe words, touches, and images out of our Circle of Grace. 2. The letter “L” reminds us to “Listen”. In every situation we need to remember that the Holy Spirit is always with us to help us stay safe. We don’t know all the ways that the Holy Spirit helps us, but we do know that Jesus promised us a Helper and a Guide. The Holy Spirit gives us feelings or instincts and we need to listen to them. Feelings are not good or bad, they just tell us more about ourselves. You can help yourself recognize your feelings by naming them. This may take a little practice. Activity ‐ (Letter “L” Activity) • Distribute a copy of the “Feeling Faces Chart/No Labels” handout to each young person (see the end of Grade 6 lessons). • Take a moment to look at the handout with faces on it. Give each face a feeling name. Look at the face and imagine what feeling matches that face. You may not use the same feeling name twice on this page. • Allow for a few responses. There are no right or wrong feelings for the faces. 3. The letter “A” reminds us to “Ask”. a. When you have an uncomfortable feeling, you are recognizing the Holy Spirit helping you know that something is not right. b. You can ask questions to help you know how to act. What are you doing? Why are you saying that? Where are you going? Who are you? What is this? c. You can even ask yourself: Why am I feeling this way? Who can I ask for help? d. What are other questions you can ask? Allow for a few responses. 4. The next letter “A” reminds us to “Act”. Your parents are not with you each time you have an uncomfortable feeling or when your gut instinct tells you that you are not in a safe situation. As you have grown older, you have learned some skills you need to know when your parents are not with you. One of those skills is to take action by stating your Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 28
needs clearly. It is simple to tell others when you are hungry, when you are sick, or when you are cold. To help protect yourself in your Circle of Grace, you need to tell others your internal needs too. This may take some practice. Activity ‐ (Second letter “A” Activity) • Divide young people into pairs or groups of three seated or standing close to each other. • Together we are going to practice stating our needs clearly. After I state each need I want each of you to repeat the statements to your small group. We will start with some easier ones. o I need to go to sleep. o I need help with my homework. o I need to call my parents. o I need you to get away from me. o I need to leave. Now. • Some of these statements may sound rude. Remember, we don’t use “need statements” to hurt someone when we are angry; we use these statements when we have an uncomfortable feeling inside of ourselves and want to protect ourselves and others. They help us to resist unsafe situations. What are some other “need statements” that will help us resist? Allow for a few responses. • There are things we can do to help us to remove ourselves from unsafe situations. These include: o getting away o yelling for help o always have a buddy with you o refraining from giving personal information or photos of yourself on the Internet. •
Have the young people give other examples of actions to use when they are in an unsafe situation. Allow for a few responses. •
The young people who have moved to participate in this activity may return to their places now. 5. The last letter “N” reminds us to “Notify”. Notify your parents or another trusted adult whenever someone or something has not respected your Circle of Grace or someone else’s circle of Grace. • Take a moment and think of three people besides your parents whom you can trust. o Do these people respect your Circle of Grace? o Do they respect their own Circle of Grace? o Do they respect the Circle of Grace of other people that you know? • As you decide whom you want to be your trusted adults, you should be cautious of persons: o who enjoy having kids, rather than adults, as friends o who tell you it’s OK to disobey the rules of parents or leaders o who give you gifts that make you feel uncomfortable Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 29
o who plan “private” activities for you or other groups of young people o who ask you to keep secrets. •
Trusted adults want what is best for you; they want your Circle of Grace to be respected. Take Home Activity Distribute Trusted Adult Home Activity sheet and the writing paper. 1. On the writing paper, list the three persons in addition to your parents whom you have identified as trusted adults. Take this paper along with the activity sheet home to discuss with your parents. 2. The steps for talking with a trusted adult about an unsafe situation are: o Look at the person. o Say, “I need to tell you something important.” o Clearly describe the unsafe situation. o Thank the person for helping you. Review (Optional) Let’s review our PLAAN. Q. What does “P” remind us of? A. Protect with respect. Q. What does respect do for our Circle of Grace? A. Values our uniqueness, honors boundaries, and creates healthy Q. What does “L” remind us of? A. Listen. Q. What do we need to listen to? A. Holy Spirit’s presence in our Circle of Grace. Q. How do we know that the Holy Spirit is present? A. Jesus promised us a Helper/Guide; feelings. Q. What should we do about our feelings? A. Listen to our feelings and name them. Q. What does the first “A” remind us of? A. Ask. Q. Why do we ask questions? A. To help us decide what to do next. Q. What does the second “A” remind us of? A. Act. Q. What are some ways to resist? A. Stating what we need. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 relationships. Page 30
Q. And what does the “N” remind us of? A. Notify. Q. Whom should you notify? A. Trusted adult, which may be parents. Q. How do you know someone can be a trusted adult? A. Respects my Circle of Grace and others’ Circle of Grace. Closing Prayer 1. Distribute puzzle pieces. Ask the young people to remain silent during this prayer time. Background music could be played. • In these lessons we have talked about how each of us is unique and special. We decorated our puzzle pieces to reflect our gifts and talents that make us just who we are. We learned that we are in relationships with other people and that our puzzle pieces fit together to form a pattern. We also learned about unsafe situations that do not belong in our Circle of Grace; they don’t fit into our puzzle. • Your puzzle piece is a symbol of you along with some of your gifts and talents within your Circle of Grace. • Hold this symbol of who you are gently in your hands. Please close your eyes again as I read to you from the Gospel of John words that Jesus spoke to his disciples. (John 14:15‐18 from the New American Bible) If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. God did send an Advocate, a Helper, whom we call the Holy Spirit. Notice how the Holy Spirit is with you and in your Circle of Grace as you end this prayer. Think of how God is present working in your life. Spend a few minutes thinking about this. When you are finished and your prayer has ended, you may open your eyes. 2. Gently end the background music (if used) and invite the young people to open their eyes. Instruct them to take home the Trusted Adult Handout to share with their parents and their Puzzle Piece Art to remind them of the Circle of Grace lessons.
Pre-Assessment Grade 6
Write the correct word or phrase for each definition. Circle of Grace Respect ______________________ 1. ______________________ 2. ______________________ 3. ______________________ 4. Trusted Adult Boundary Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others. A border or limit that defines our Circle of Grace. It tells us whether something belongs or does not belong in our Circle of Grace. The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me. A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Circle the correct answer. True False 5. Feelings are something I sense inside myself (angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, etc.) that give me information about myself or others. True False 6. Unsafe touch is disrespectful, hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. True False 7. Always talk to a trusted adult when a situation or secret makes me feel unsafe or confused. Circle the correct answer for the following situations. Safe Unsafe 8. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you not to watch. Safe Unsafe 9. Your dad is planning a surprise birthday party for your mom. Safe Unsafe 10. An instructor at your school invites you and a friend to go to a movie on a Friday night. The instructor offers to take you and bring you home. He says he will pay for the movie and refreshments. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 32
Pre-Assessment Grade 6 Key
Write the correct word or phrase for each definition. Circle of Grace Respect _______ Respect _______ 1. ______ Boundary ______ 2. ____ Circle of Grace ___ 3. ____ Trusted Adult ___ 4. Trusted Adult Boundary Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others. A border or limit that defines our Circle of Grace. It tells us whether something belongs or does not belong in our Circle of Grace. The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me. A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Circle the correct answer. True 5. Feelings are something I sense inside myself (angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, etc.) that give me information about myself or others. True 6. Unsafe touch is disrespectful, hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. True 7. Always talk to a trusted adult when a situation or secret makes me feel unsafe or confused. Circle the correct answer for the following situations. 8. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie Unsafe your mom or dad told you not to watch. Safe 9. Your dad is planning a surprise birthday party for your mom. Unsafe 10. An instructor at your school invites you and a friend to go to a movie on a Friday night. The instructor offers to take you and bring you home. He says he will pay for the movie and refreshments. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 33
Puzzle Piece
Activity Handout
1. What are some things that people have told you that you are good at? God often lets you see your gifts and talents through other people. 2. Who do you admire? What qualities in them would you like to develop in yourself? This is God’s way of helping you recognize qualities you would like to imitate. 3. What are some things that you enjoy doing? Do you like art or writing? Do you take care of animals or the environment? Using your special gifts brings pleasure to you and to God. 4. What are your hopes and dreams for yourself? What would you like to be or to do? Our hopes and dreams are special gifts that God uses to help us understand God’s dream for us. 5. What are some special things about your personality? Are you patient or kind? Do you have a great smile, or are you always ready to help out? Are you funny? Do you notice when others are hurting? Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 37
Closing Prayer12 Leader: But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine. Response: Eternal God, we bear your name, your imprint. Leader: For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior. Response: You have impressed your Son, your likeness, on us, and we are yours. Leader: Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you. Response: We ask you that we may mirror your life in us and reflect your grace in all our human relationships as Christ our brother did in serving this world today and every day, forever and ever. All: Amen. Isaiah 43:1‐4 with adaptation from Van Breeman, Peter SJ, The God Who Won’t Let Go. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 2001. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 1 Page 38
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Optional Extended Opening Prayer How you arrange the young people depends on the size of your group. Invite the young people to sit or stand with sufficient space to allow for movement. Demonstrate the movements before the prayer begins to facilitate the flow of the prayer. Leaders may wish to play background instrumental music. Invite the young people to be aware of God’s presence by closing their eyes and breathing slowly. Encourage them by speaking in a clear voice allowing silence of five seconds between breathing instructions. Inhale slowly through your nose. Feel the air come into your body and fill your lungs. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Feel your breath leave to make room for fresh air to enter your body. Inhale slowly again through your nose. Exhale slowly again through your mouth. As you continue breathing slowly: raise your hands above your head and then bring your arms slowly down, keeping them outstretched extend your arms in front of you and then behind you embracing all of the space around you knowing that God is in this space with you. Then slowly reach down to your feet. This is your Circle of Grace. You are in it. As you continue to breathe slowly, be seated. Please close your eyes again as I read to you from the Gospel of John words that Jesus spoke to his disciples. (John 14: 15‐18) If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, which the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows it. But you know it, because it remains with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. God did send an Advocate, the Spirit of truth whom we usually call the Holy Spirit. Notice how the Holy Spirit is with you and in your Circle of Grace as you end this prayer. Think of a time when God was present working in your life. Spend a few minutes thinking about this. When you are finished and your prayer has ended, you may open your eyes. Allow 30‐60 seconds for reflection. When most of the young people have opened their eyes, ask the following question. Allow a few of them to share if they wish. You may choose to talk about a time when you knew God was very present for you. If possible, allow the young people to share first. Would anyone like to talk about a time when you knew God was with you?
Optional Extended Opening Prayer (This prayer is based on Genesis 1 and 2.) Give each young person their own puzzle piece from Lesson 1 and a prayer handout. Have the young people stand in a circle. Invite them to take turns with the “days”. Explain to the young people that they will be bringing their own puzzle piece to the center of the prayer circle and connecting it with the other pieces. Today we are going to pray with the creation story. This prayer is a creative version of Genesis 1 and 2. Later in the prayer, you will be asked to bring your puzzle piece to the center of the circle. It may not work out that your piece will be with your friend’s or someone you even know well. This is how it is in life. We are called to be next to people we don’t know or sometimes even like. We will talk more about this later. For now, just place your puzzle in the most obvious place. In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, On the first day… God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw how good the light was. God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light day, and the darkness he called night. On the second day… God said, “Let there be a dome in the middle of the waters to separate one body of water from the other.” God made the dome, and it separated the water above the dome from the water below it. God called the dome the sky. On the third day… God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered into a single basin, so that dry land may appear.” God called the dry land the earth, and the basin of the water he called the sea. The earth brought forth every kind of plant that bears seed and every kind of fruit tree on earth that bears fruit with its seed in it. God saw how good it was. On the fourth day… God made the two great lights, the greater one to govern the day, the lesser one to govern the night; and he made the stars. God set them in the dome of the sky, to shed light upon the earth, to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. God saw how good it was. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 40
On the fifth day… God created the great sea monsters and all kinds of swimming creatures with which the water teems, and all kinds of winged birds. God saw how good it was, and God blessed them, saying, “Be fertile, multiply, and fill the water of the seas; and let the birds multiply on the earth.” On the sixth day… God made all kinds of wild animals, all kinds of cattle, and all kinds of creeping things of the earth. God saw how good it was. Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness.” God formed a human being out of the clay of the ground and blew into His nostrils the breath of life creating a living being. God created man in his image; in the divine image He created him; male and female He created them. God looked at everything that was made, and found it very good. Thus the heavens and the earth and their entire array were completed. On the seventh day… God was finished with the work and rested. So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy. Pause, indicating that the following is not in the biblical version. Then on the day called today … God desired to share His full presence with all He had created, so He fashioned a multitude of children and named them. At this point, have the young people say their full names as they bring up their puzzle piece and put it together with the pieces to form a whole. God sees the goodness in each of us and continues to bless us and create good in us. He wants us to live in God’s presence and love, our Circle of Grace. God entrusts us with His grace so that we might help in God’s work of caring for others and ourselves, filled with the love of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 41
Optional Extended Closing Prayer Option: If there are two adults present, you may choose to alternate the lines that are after the pause. Leader reads slowly… Sit in your chair, upright but comfortable, with your back supported. Let your body relax with your feet on the floor in front of you and your hands at rest on your thighs or joined in your lap. Close your eyes. Concentrate all your attention on the physical feeling of breathing in and breathing out. Now just notice the sounds that you can hear, sounds far away. Just hear them, donʹt even try to name them. Notice fainter sounds and then sounds that are nearer. Just listen. Become aware of the sound of your own heartbeat. It is your own rhythm of life. Notice the sound of silence in your place of prayer, the silence within yourself. Listen for a few minutes. Now let your attention focus on what you can feel in your body. You start at your feet and work upwards, letting your attention dwell perhaps only for a few seconds on whatever part of the body you can feel, shifting attention from one part of the body to the other. Your attention is on what you are feeling, not on thoughts about feeling. Pause for 15‐30 seconds and then continue with this prayer (reading slowly). Relationships… How do we expect to be treated? How does it feel to be safe, valued, and respected? As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. How do I treat others in ways that respect their Circle of Grace? How do I keep my own Circle of Grace safe? For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit. Sometimes we do not realize we need to value everyone. Sometimes we think that we do not need some people in our world. Now the body is not a single part, but many. If a foot should say, “Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 42
Some people are afraid of those who are different, come from a different country, have a different religion, look different. Why are we afraid of differences? Why are we afraid to be different? Or if an ear should say, “Because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But God has created each of us to be an important piece of His puzzle. But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. If they were all one part, where would the body be? But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body. We can complete His puzzle. We can build healthy relationships. We can use words and actions that tell others that their unique puzzle piece, the special person they are, is valued. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.” Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. What are some of the differences people have? But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy. Why should we have friends that are different than ourselves? Now you are Christʹs body, and individually parts of it. Some people God has designated in the church to be, first, apostles; second, prophets; third, leaders; then, mighty deeds; then, gifts of healing, assistance, administration, and varieties of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all leaders? Do all work mighty deeds? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts. But I shall show you a still more excellent way. 1 Cor. 12:12‐31 Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 43
As we reflect on what we have just heard, bring your attention back to group, remembering what we have heard. Begin to hear the sounds in this room, and focus you attention not on your own heartbeat, but on the heartbeat of others. Listen to the hearts of others. Move from concentrating on your own breathing to the breath of God’s Spirit within all of us. Focus your attention on those around you as we remember how God made each of us unique, but knowing that together we form a completed puzzle. Slowly open your eyes. Notice everyone around you, and quietly thank God for creating them as a valued piece of the puzzle that is the body of Christ. Optional: End with the song “If we are the body” by Casting Crowns or other appropriate song. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 44
Frustrated
Happy
Lonely
Loved
Mad
Sad
Nervous
Proud
Relaxed
Scared
Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Stressed
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Opening Prayer God sees the goodness in each of us and continues to bless us. God wants us to live in His presence and love, our Circle of Grace. God entrusts us with His grace so that we might help in His work of caring for ourselves and others filled with the love of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Closing prayer Lord, teach us to have loving and respectful relationships, ones in which we feel safe and valued. Guide us to treat ourselves and others with respect, honoring all of our Circle of Grace. Help us to model your unconditional love, realizing we need to value everyone, even those we do not like or who are different from us. Enlighten us to know that God has created each of us to be an important piece of His puzzle, His creation of life. Give us courage and desire to build healthy relationships, prompt us to value others as Children of God, lead all to participate in His masterpiece, the glorious Kingdom of God. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 49
Grade 6: Lesson 2 Parent Letter Dear Parent, Your young person has just completed the second of four lessons in the Circle of Grace Program. Lesson one focused on the Circle of Grace as the love and goodness of God which always surrounds him or her. The focus of lesson two was healthy relationships and situations. Lesson three will be about boundaries. The goal of lesson three is: “Young people will be better able to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy relationships.” The activities and discussion will help them be better able to recognize safe and unsafe situations, acknowledge and respect the boundaries surrounding their own Circle of Grace and those of others, and identify actions or words that violate one’s Circle of Grace. Your young person will be given the following guidelines to help him or her decide whether a relationship or situation is safe or unsafe. 1. How long have you know this person? 2. Is your knowledge of this person face‐to‐face? 3. How much do you know about this person? 4. How have you verified what this person has told you about themselves? 5. What do your feelings (instincts) tell you about this person or situation? 6. How many things do you have in common with this person? 7. Is the relationship respectful of your boundaries and the other person’s? 8. Are you able to say, “No,” to this person? 9. Does this person’s age or status influence your behavior in the relationship? 10. Does this person ever ask you to keep secrets? Your young person will also learn about potentially unsafe and dangerous situations and relationships. Ask your young person what they learned after Lesson Three. Your ongoing conversations with your young person are very important. It is important to reinforce that they can come to you with any situation and that you are willing to talk with them and help them. In Lesson Four, they will learn that they are to talk to a trusted adult about any situation that confuses them or is unsafe. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 50
Caution your young person: 1. Not to reveal personal information on the Internet. That includes full names, school, grade, address, phone, sports teams, church groups, etc. Perpetrators try to identify young people by learning about their activities and schedule patterns. 2. To let you know about any time they feel bullied. Help them understand how to respond to bullies, whether that is in an Internet chat room, at school, or in another setting. 3. Be sensitive to comments that devalue or criticize others for their physical attributes, race, religion, economic status, etc. Model appropriate respectful behavior yourself. Watch the jokes you tell. Your children do. 4. To avoid unsafe situations involving alcohol, drugs, and smoking. 5. To be cautious about situations in which they are alone with an adult. Unsafe Behaviors The young people will not be presented the following information about unsafe and potentially dangerous behaviors. They will be asked to talk with you about it. We encourage you to discuss this with your young person. •
In recent years, both nationally and locally, young people have died playing asphyxiation games (also known as the choking game and the fainting game) either alone or in groups. •
There is also a prevalence of potentially dangerous behaviors including genital contact (Rainbow Parties, Chicken Games). In these situations, problem‐solve with your young people the appropriate ways to remove themselves from this environment (e.g. I have to call my mom/dad now, I have to go to the bathroom, I don’t feel good, etc.). Thank you for your support of the Circle of Grace Program. It is essential and appreciated as we strive to provide the safest possible environment for our young people. If you have any questions please call your school or parish office. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 2 Page 51
Guidelines for Protecting Boundaries Handout Ask Yourself: 1. How long have you known this person? 2. Is your knowledge of this person face‐to‐face? 3. How much do you know about this person? 4. How have you verified what this person has told you about themselves? 5. What do your feelings (instincts) tell you about this person or situation? 6. How many things do you have in common with this person? 7. Is the relationship respectful of your boundaries and the other person’s? 8. Are you able to say, “No,” to this person? 9. Does this person’s age or status influence your behavior in the relationship? 10. Does this person ever ask you to keep secrets? Guidelines: 1. Do not reveal personal information on the Internet. That includes full names, school, grade, address, phone, sports teams, church groups, etc. Those who want to exploit young people will try to identify potential victims by learning about their activities and schedule patterns. 2. Let a trusted adult know anytime you feel bullied. Know how to respond to bullies, whether in an Internet chat room, at school, or in another setting. 3. Understand that comments which devalue or criticize others for their physical attributes, race, religion, economic status, etc., are not appropriate. 4. Avoid situations, which involve alcohol, drugs, and smoking, or other risk taking behavior. 5. Be cautious about situations in which you are alone with an adult. Your parents have received more information about activities that are unsafe and may be potentially dangerous. I encourage you to talk with them about these situations that you might encounter. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 3 Page 53
Grade 6: Lesson 4 The Trusted Adult Home Activity Sheet for Parents Lesson 4 Goal: Young people will be better able to safeguard their Circle of Grace from violations. In this lesson, we ask young people to identify three trusted adults (in addition to their parents). They were asked to consider the following criteria when identifying trusted adults. • Do these people respect your Circle of Grace? • Do they respect their Circle of Grace? • Do they respect the Circle of Grace of others you know? Adults to be cautious of are those… • who enjoy having kids, rather than adults, as friends • who tell you it’s OK to disobey the rules of parents or leaders • who give you gifts that make you feel uncomfortable • who plan “private” activities for you or other groups of young people • who ask you to keep secrets. Please contact these individuals to let them know you and your child have identified them as trusted adults. This can be done in person, by phone, or a letter. Being identified as a trusted adult will most likely make them feel honored as well as alert them to your safety plan for your young person. Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 54
Post-Assessment Grade 6
Write the correct word or phrase for each definition. Circle of Grace Trusted Adult Boundary _______________________ 1. A border or limit that defines our Circle of Grace. It tells us whether something belongs or does not belong in our Circle of Grace. _______________________ 2. The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. _______________________ 3. A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Circle the correct answer. True False 4. Feelings are something I sense inside myself (angry, sad, embarrassed, confused, etc.) that give me information about myself or others. True False 5. Respect is being kind to others and doing what is best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. True False 6. Anytime a person is in a relationship where the other does not respect your Circle of Grace is a time when hurt or damage may occur. Safe Unsafe 7. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you not to watch. 8. A person you know from the Internet wants you to meet at the mall this weekend and told you not to tell your parents. Although you are curious, you feel uncomfortable in keeping a secret from your parents. Safe Unsafe Safe Unsafe 9. An instructor at your school invites you and a friend to go to a movie on a Friday night. The instructor offers to take you and bring you home. He says he will pay for the movie and refreshments. 10. PLAAN stands for: P ________________________ L ________________________ A ________________________ A ________________________ N ________________________ Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 55
Post-Assessment Grade 6 Key Write the correct word or phrase for each definition. Circle of Grace Trusted Adult Boundary ______ Boundary_______ 1. A border or limit that defines our Circle of Grace. It tells us whether something belongs or does not belong in our Circle of Grace. ___ Circle of Grace _____ 2. The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. ____ Trusted Adult ____ 3. A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace Circle the correct answer. True 4. Feelings are something I sense inside myself (angry, sad, embarrassed, confused, etc.) that give me information about myself or others. True 5. Respect is being kind to others and doing what is best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. True 6. Anytime a person is in a relationship where the other does not respect your Circle of Grace is a time when hurt or damage may occur. Unsafe 7. Your big brother’s friend wants you to watch a movie your mom or dad told you not to watch. Unsafe 8. A person you know from the Internet wants you to meet at the mall this weekend and told you not to tell your parents. Although you are curious, you feel uncomfortable in keeping a secret from your parents. Unsafe 9. An instructor at your school invites you and a friend to go to a movie on a Friday night. The instructor offers to take you and bring you home. He says he will pay for the movie and refreshments. 10. PLAAN stands for: P_____Protect with Respect______ L_____Listen__________________ A_____Ask____________________ A_____Act____________________ N_____Notify_________________ Circle of Grace – Grade 6: Lesson 4 Page 56
Grade 6 Evaluation
Parish/School __________________________________ City __________________________
Leader _______________________________ Number of young people in class _______
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check whether the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____Young People understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Young People will be able to describe the Circle of Grace which God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Young People will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Young People can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Young People can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Number of Young people who got 70% or better on their pre assessment Number of Young people who got below 70% on their pre assessment Number of Young people who got 70% or better on the post assessment Number of Young people who got below 70% on the post assessment ______ ______ ______ ______ Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator, Director of Religious Education, or Director of Youth Ministry. Circle of Grace – Grade 6 Page 57
Circle of Grace
Philosophy
God intends our relationships in life to be experiences of divine love. Respectful, nurturing, loving relationships increase our understanding of our own value and help us to love others. It is never too early to help young people understand how very special they are and how relationships in life are called to be sacred. Understanding this can help them to protect the special person they are and to be respectful of others. Adults, as they strive to provide a safe and protective environment, hold the responsibility to help young people understand and respect their own dignity and that of others. A truly safe and protective environment is one where young people recognize when they are safe or unsafe and know how to bring their concerns, fears, and uncertainties to the trusted adults in their lives. How is the Circle of Grace Program different from other protection
programs?
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A Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, catechist, or youth minister who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. •
The time frame for lessons may vary depending on size of class, age of young people, amount of discussion, etc. •
Vocabularies with definitions are intended for the leader. The explanation of vocabulary should be integrated within the context of the lessons to assist the young people in their understanding of the Circle of Grace Program. The depth of the young people’s understanding will depend upon their age and developmental stage. A master vocabulary list of the Circle of Grace Program is included in the all lesson plans. The pertinent vocabulary is listed in each lesson. •
Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our young people and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. •
Your Administrator, Religious Education Director, or Youth Minister Director is sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. Evaluations for each grade are to be completed and returned to the School Administrator or the Director of Religious Education/Formation. The evaluations will be used to complete the Summary Evaluation that is sent to the __local diocese/archdiocese _____
for ongoing improvement of the program and for the audit records. •
Circle of Grace – Grade 7: Leader Guidelines Page 2 Circle of Grace Vocabulary
Words introduced in Kindergarten Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Words Introduced in First Grade Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. Words Introduced in Second Grade No new words. Circle of Grace – Grade 7: Vocabulary
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Words Introduced in Third Grade Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary. Words Introduced in Fourth Grade Blog: An online journal. Personal stories or thoughts can be posted as in a personal journal. This is a public journal that anyone can access. Chat Room: The name given to a place or page in a website or online service where people can chat with each other by typing messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are in the chat room. Flaming: Sending a deliberately confrontational message to others on the Internet. Inappropriate Material: Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Instant messaging (IM): Technology similar to that of chat rooms which notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. Netiquette: Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. Personal Contact Information: Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located in the physical world, such as a telephone number or an address. Phishing: An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence from e‐commerce sites. The fake messages generally link to websites that are similarly faked to look like the sites of the respected companies. On the sites you are directed to enter your personal information for authentication or confirmation purposes. The information, when submitted, goes to the thieves, not to the “spoofed” company. Predator: Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with the intent to do harm. Words Introduced in Fifth Grade Media: Mass communication formats (music, TV, magazines, movies, videos, Internet, computer games, books, advertisements, news, newspapers, radio, etc.) which provide education, information, entertainment, and advertising. Inappropriate Media: Images or words, spoken or written, that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Circle of Grace – Grade 7: Vocabulary
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Circle of Grace – Grade 7: Vocabulary
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Saying No to Disrespect
Honoring Everyone’s Circle of Grace
Sometimes young person reveal personal information or details about incidents that, in order to respect confidentiality, need to be handled outside of the group environment. If this happens, tell the young person, “Thank you for sharing that, ________. That sounds really important. I will talk to you about that later (at the end of class, at the break, as soon as humanly possible, etc.).” When this happens, be sure you talk to the young person at your first opportunity and alert the administration. Remember that you are the responsible reporter in cases of suspected abuse. This lesson compliments the following Catholic teachings: •
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Belief in the works and presence of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Christian faith requires a relationship with God and others We are called to model our faith in our words and actions We are called to make moral decisions consistent with Catholic teaching Vocations are God’s call to all We are all Children of God because of God’s creation and covenants Individual and cultural differences are gifts from God that should be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect Skills such as listening, self‐disclosure, and compromise are necessary for faith filled communications with others. Lesson Goal Young People will understand respect and disrespect within the context of their Circle of Grace. Lesson Objectives Young People will be able to:
1. Recognize that everyone deserves respect as a person created and loved by God. 2. Recognize words and actions that are disrespectful as boundary violations. 3. Identify skills to resist disrespectful behavior as part of their safety PLAAN. Special note to leaders: It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There may be young people in every group who have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. Please be sensitive to this possibility. God is with them even during difficult times.
Circle of Grace – Grade 7
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Vocabulary 1. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 2. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 3. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what is best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 4. Disrespect: Treating with rudeness, insult and lack of respect. Materials Needed 1. Word Bank List for the Vocabulary Review Puzzle for each young person (see the end of Grade 7 lesson) 2. Vocabulary Review for each young person (see the end of Grade 7 lesson) 3. Vocabulary Review Key for the Leader (see the end of Grade 7 lesson) 4. Whiteboard/Blackboard Opening Prayer Leader calls the young people to prayer by asking them to quiet themselves and join in the Sign of the Cross. Please listen quietly as I read from a letter that St. Paul wrote to the community at Philippi. Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:4‐9 from the New American Bible) Circle of Grace – Grade 7
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Getting Started Open the lesson with the following statements: •
Today we are going to review Circle of Grace, look at behaviors that are disrespectful, and then see if we can find some ways to resist doing or saying things that we know will hurt others. •
We will also review the steps of our Safety PLAAN when others are disrespectful of us. Lesson Development Vocabulary 1. Briefly present the vocabulary words. 2. Distribute the Word Bank List and the Vocabulary Review (see the end of Grade 7 lesson). 3. Have young people work individually or in small groups to complete the Vocabulary Review Activity. Discussion Summarize Circle of Grace with the following statements. ¾ We have already learned about the Circle of Grace. Our Circle of Grace is the love and goodness of God which always surround us. ¾ God is with us and within us in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps us to remember that we belong to God; we are always in a special, holy place. ¾ If we can remember that we are in our Circle of Grace, with God and surrounded by his love, we will remember to behave with respect for ourselves and others. Activity Open discussion with the following. ¾ We don’t always act in ways that are respectful. Take just a minute and think of a time when someone your age was not respectful of your Circle of Grace. Pause. ¾ Now think of a time when you said or did something that was hurtful to someone your age. Pause. ¾ These words and actions don’t belong in anyone’s Circle of Grace. Continue discussion with the following. ¾ Together we are going to make a list of some of those disrespectful behaviors. Have the young people brainstorm ideas as you list them on the board. Prompt as needed to include: Peer Pressure, Bullying, Excluding, Teasing, Purposefully Embarrassing, Gossiping, Being Dishonest, Being a False Friend. Divide the young people into small groups. Have each small group select one or two disrespectful behaviors and then make a list of ways to resist the pressure to participate in those Circle of Grace – Grade 7
Page 10
behaviors. Suggested examples are: “No, that doesn’t interest me,” or, “I have decided not to do that.” Share ideas in a large group. Write on the board the combined list of appropriate words or actions to resist pressure. Conclude discussion by summarizing the following: ¾ Standing up for what is right sometimes means taking a risk. ¾ If no one laughs (joins in) you are taking the bully’s power away. ¾ You can stand up for another person’s Circle of Grace by not joining in. ¾ If you are the one being made fun of or disrespected, look around for the people who are not laughing. They are resisting the pressure to join in the disrespectful behaviors. They have qualities of someone who would be a good friend. They are respecting your Circle of Grace. Activity ‐ Review Safety PLAAN Summary 1. Write on the board P ‐ Protect L ‐ Listen A ‐ Ask A ‐ Act N ‐ Notify 2. Review ¾ The first letter “P” stands for Protect with Respect •
How do you think respect can help us protect our Circle of Grace? o Answers should include: respecting ourselves as a child of God respecting others because they are also Children of God keeping unsafe words, touches, and images out of our Circle of Grace. •
The letter “P” is about knowing that each of us has a Circle of Grace and respecting it. ¾ The letter “L” stands for Listen •
In every situation we need to remember that the Holy Spirit is always with us to help us stay safe. •
The Holy Spirit gives us feelings or instincts and we need to listen to them. •
The letter “L” connects us with the Communion of Saints and the qualities we have been given as expressions of God’s love. Circle of Grace – Grade 7
Page 11
¾ The letter “A” stands for Ask •
•
•
•
When you have an uncomfortable feeling, you are recognizing the Holy Spirit helping you know that something is not right. The letter “A” asks: “Does this say, ‘Yes,’ to what God has called me to be? Does this belong in my Circle of Grace?” There are some questions that the letter “A” reminds us to ask ourselves whenever we are in a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable or that just doesn’t feel quite right. The questions are also good ones to ask every so often even when we don’t get a gut feeling ‐ sometimes asking the questions helps us to hear the Holy Spirit when we did not remember that we needed to listen. Read each question allowing a few moments for quiet reflection between each. 1. How long have you known this person? 2. Is your knowledge of this person face‐to‐face? 3. How much do you know about this person? 4. How have you verified what this person has told you about themselves? 5. What do your feelings (instincts) tell you about this person or situation? 6. How many things do you have in common with this person? 7. Is the relationship respectful of your boundaries and the other person’s? 8. Are you able to say, “No,” to this person? 9. Does this person’s age or status influence your behavior in the relationship? 10. Does this person ever ask you to keep secrets? ¾ The next letter “A” stands for Act •
•
To protect your Circle of Grace, you need to tell trusted adults you need help. There are other things you can do to protect your Circle of Grace when your parents or trusted adults may not be around. Some of them are: 1. Don’t reveal personal information on the Internet. That includes full names, school, grade, address, phone, sports teams, church groups, etc. Perpetrators try to identify young people by learning about their activities and schedule patterns. Be particularly cautious of social networking websites such as myspace.com and personal blogs. 2. Stay away or get away from situations that make you feel uncomfortable. 3. Tactics may include saying, “No,” walking away, calling a parent. Circle of Grace – Grade 7
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4. Understand that comments about another person’s physical attributes, race, religion, economic status, etc., which de‐value or criticize are never appropriate. 5. Avoid unsafe situations, which involve alcohol, drugs, or smoking. 6. Be cautious about situations in which one is left alone with an adult. ¾ The last letter “N” stands for Notify •
Notify your parents or another trusted adult whenever someone has violated your boundaries, such as manipulating to control you or not respecting your Circle of Grace or someone else’s Circle of Grace. •
Think of three people besides your parents whom you can trust, whom you feel will listen and would offer help. Ask yourself these questions: ◦ Do these people respect your Circle of Grace? ◦ Do they respect their own Circle of Grace? ◦ Do they respect the Circle of Grace of other people you know? Continue by saying: •
Trusted adults want what is best for you; they want your Circle of Grace to be respected. Discuss with your parents the three other persons whom you feel are trusted adults. Then let the trusted adults know you have chosen them. Share with them what Circle of Grace means to you. Today is a good day to start those conversations.
Closing Prayer Call the young people to prayer by asking them to quietly reflect on disrespectful behaviors that they may have seen, received, or done to others. Remind them that as Catholics we have access to the healing grace of God through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Invite them to listen as you pray, beginning with the Sign of the Cross: Circle of Grace – Grade 7
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The Holy Spirit Day by Day Holy Spirit, day by day I see you more and more. You are the Spirit, not just of my prayers and my religion classes, You are the Spirit who is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. You are the Spirit of Love who helps me to see when someone else needs a helping hand. You are the Spirit of Goodness who helps me to respect people even when I disagree with them. You are the Spirit of Wisdom who helps me when I have a hard decision to make. You are the Spirit of Joy whom I share when I laugh with my family and friends. You are the Spirit of Peace who sings in my heart when I’m alone sometimes. Day by day I notice your presence more and more in me and in everyone around me. You fill us up and fill the Circle of Grace that surrounds us. You are really there ‐ wherever we go and whatever we do. Give us eyes to see you, ears to hear you, and hearts to know you, more and more, day by day. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 7
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Word Bank List for the
Vocabulary Review Puzzle
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 Boundary Circle of Grace Culture Empathy Feelings Grace Greed Healthy Holy Holy Spirit Honesty 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 Relationship Respect Safe Safe Secret Signal Symbol Talent Trust Trusted Adult Unsafe Touch Value Circle of Grace – Grade 7
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Page 16
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Grade 7 Evaluation
Parish/School ____________________________________ City ______________________
Leader_______________________________ Number of young people in class________
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check if each of the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Young People understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Young People will be able to describe the Circle of Grace that God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Young People will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Young People can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Young People can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator, Director of Religious Education, or Director of Youth Ministry. Circle of Grace – Grade 7 Page 18 Circle of Grace
Philosophy
God intends our relationships in life to be experiences of divine love. Respectful, nurturing, loving relationships increase our understanding of our own value and help us to love others. It is never too early to help young people understand how very special they are and how relationships in life are called to be sacred. Understanding this can help them to protect the special person they are and to be respectful of others. Adults, as they strive to provide a safe and protective environment, hold the responsibility to help young people understand and respect their own dignity and that of others. A truly safe and protective environment is one where young people recognize when they are safe or unsafe and know how to bring their concerns, fears, and uncertainties to the trusted adults in their lives. How is the Circle of Grace Program different from other protection
programs?
•
•
•
•
•
•
Leader is defined as clergy, administrator, director of religious education/formation, teacher, catechist, or youth minister who has been trained to teach the Circle of Grace Program. •
The time frame for lessons may vary depending on size of class, age of young people, amount of discussion, etc. •
Vocabularies with definitions are intended for the instructor. The explanation of vocabulary should be integrated within the context of the lessons to assist the young people in their understanding of the Circle of Grace Program. The depth of the young people’s understanding will depend upon their age and developmental stage. A master vocabulary list of the Circle of Grace Program is included in all lesson plans. The pertinent vocabulary is listed in each lesson. •
Ongoing reinforcement of the concepts is encouraged throughout the year. Hopefully, the language of Circle of Grace will become a part of a positive culture of respect, care, and faith that will help protect our young people and help them to know what to do when they feel unsafe. •
Your Administrator, Religious Education Director, or Youth Minister Director will be sending out a letter to all parents regarding Circle of Grace. Lesson specific parent information should be handed out as directed. The Parent Packet is included in the Program. Every parish/school is encouraged to provide parent education opportunities both to inform parents about the Circle of Grace program and to foster greater communication in families. •
for ongoing improvement of the program and for the audit records. Circle of Grace – Grade 8: Leader Guidelines Page 2
Circle of Grace Vocabulary
Words introduced in Kindergarten Children of God: All people are made and loved by God. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God which always surrounds me and all others. Feelings: Something I sense inside myself (e.g. angry, sad, happy, afraid, embarrassed, confused, excited, peaceful, etc.) which gives me information about others or myself. Grace: The gift of God’s goodness and love to help me live as his child. Holy: Special because of a connection with God. Holy Spirit: God present with and within me. The Holy Spirit helps me to remember that I belong to God. The Holy Spirit helps me to experience and live God’s love. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what’s best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. Safe: I am safe when my body and my feelings are respected by me and by others. Safe Touch: Touch that respects others and me. Secret: A secret is something I know but do not tell. Safe Secret: A secret is safe when it does not hurt others or me. Unsafe Secret: A secret is unsafe when I think that someone, including me, might be hurt or get in trouble if I do not tell. Signal: A sign that tells me something may be safe or unsafe. This may be internal or external. Stoplight: A traffic light (red, yellow, green) that is a visual signal for keeping vehicles and people safe. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. Unsafe: Anything that causes harm to myself or others. Unsafe Touch: Touch that is disrespectful and hurts, scares, or makes me feel uncomfortable or confused. Words Introduced in First Grade Symbol: A picture or object that stands for something else. Words Introduced in Second Grade No new words. Circle of Grace – Grade 8: Vocabulary Page 3
Words Introduced in Third Grade Boundary: The borders or limits we need to keep ourselves safe within our Circle of Grace. Treasured: We are so unique and precious that we could not be replaced in God’s eyes. Violate: To break a law, promise, or boundary. Words Introduced in Fourth Grade Blog: An online journal. Personal stories or thoughts can be posted as in a personal journal. This is a public journal that anyone can access. Chat Room: The name given to a place or page in a website or online service where people can chat with each other by typing messages which are displayed almost instantly on the screens of others who are in the chat room. Flaming: Sending a deliberately confrontational message to others on the Internet. Inappropriate Material: Pictures or words on the Internet that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Instant messaging (IM): Technology similar to that of chat rooms which notifies a user when a person is online allowing them to converse by exchanging text messages. Netiquette: Courteous, honest, and polite behavior practiced on the Internet. Personal Contact Information: Information that allows an individual to be contacted or located in the physical world, such as a telephone number or an address. Phishing: An identity theft scam in which criminals send out spam that imitates the look and language of legitimate correspondence from e‐commerce sites. The fake messages generally link to websites that are similarly faked to look like the sites of the respected companies. On the sites you are directed to enter your personal information for authentication or confirmation purposes. The information, when submitted, goes to the thieves, not to the “spoofed” company. Predator: Someone who uses the Internet to obtain personal information about others with the intent to do harm. Words Introduced in Fifth Grade Media: Mass communication formats (music, TV, magazines, movies, videos, Internet, computer games, books, advertisements, news, newspapers, radio, etc.) which provide education, information, entertainment, and advertising. Inappropriate Media: Images or words, spoken or written, that make you feel uncomfortable, scared, or that intentionally degrade a human person. Circle of Grace – Grade 8: Vocabulary Page 4
Circle of Grace – Grade 8: Vocabulary Page 5
4
7
How to Be Morally Responsible
in Today’s Culture
Sometimes young people reveal personal information or details about incidents that, in order to respect confidentiality, need to be handled outside of the classroom. If this happens, tell the young person, “Thank you for sharing that, ________. That sounds really important. I will talk to you about that later (at the end of class, at the break, as soon as humanly possible, etc.).” When this happens, be sure you talk to the young person at your first opportunity and alert the administration. Remember that you are the responsible reporter in cases of suspected abuse. This lesson compliments the following Catholic teachings: •
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Belief in the works and presence of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit Christian faith requires a relationship with God and others We are called to model our faith in our words and actions We are called to make moral decisions consistent with Catholic teaching Vocations are God’s call to all We are all Children of God because of God’s creation and covenants Individual and cultural differences are gifts from God that should be respected Responsible relationships are based on love, honesty, and respect Skills such as listening, self‐disclosure, and compromise are necessary for faith filled communications with others. Lesson Goal Students will demonstrate that they are able to identify values that reflect moral decisions. Lesson Objectives Young People will be able to: 1. Recognize that Catholic Christians have specific moral values. 2. Identify those values and how they fit into their Circle of Grace. 3. Understand those values and how they can oppose cultural values. 4. Recognize that our understanding of values assists us in keeping appropriate boundaries in our Circle of Grace. 5. Know how to seek help when something unsafe threatens their Circle of Grace. Vocabulary 1. Value: A principle, standard, or quality considered desirable. 2. Morality: The way we put our beliefs into action for good. 3. Conscience: The gift from God that helps me to know the difference between right and wrong. Circle of Grace – Grade 8 Page 8
4. Trust: Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. 5. Trusted Adult: A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 6. Respect: Being kind to others and doing what is best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 7. Circle of Grace: The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 8. Sexuality: Everything that makes us female or male. This includes feelings, attitudes, values, relationships, and ideas. 9. Modesty: The virtue that respects, honors, and protects privacy: the quality of avoiding extremes of emotion, action, dress, and language. Modesty respects my boundaries and the boundaries of others. Materials Needed 1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Bible for reference if needed A Catechism of the Catholic Church for reference if needed Vocabulary Match Worksheet for each young person (see the end of Grade 8 lesson) Vocabulary Match Worksheet Key for leader (see the end of Grade 8 lesson) A Ten Commandments Worksheet for each young person (see the end of Grade 8 lesson) 6. A sheet of blank paper for each young person 7. White board or chalk board 8. Copies of the Opening and Closing Prayer (see the end of Grade 8 lesson) Opening Prayer Call the youth to quiet down and recognize the Lord’s presence in their midst. The prayer can be read to the young people or they can be given a copy of the prayer to say together (see the end of Grade 8 lesson). Circle of Grace – Grade 8 Page 9
My God, love my inmost heart. Love the person inside me that fears the world, not the facade I portray to the world. This image is not my inmost heart, it only masks the person you made me to be. This person is trapped in me, afraid to break free, in fear of the world and what people say. Lord, help the person you made me to be break through the act I show the world. What I believe is so important to me, though the world may not see that, it is true. Help me to show the world my beliefs. I realize now that if I shut out the inmost heart, my true real self will be trapped forever. Your divine power is with me always, God. You know my inmost heart. I speak to you as the person you made me to be. Speaking to you frees my inmost heart. Amen. Getting Started It is important to begin the lesson by explaining that God does not want or cause bad things to happen. There will be young people who have already experienced unsafe or hurtful situations. We want our young people to understand that God is with them and for them even when they are hurting or sad. Review Summarize Circle of Grace: 1. We have learned about Circle of Grace before. Our Circle of Grace is the love and goodness of God that always surround us. 2. God is with us and within us in a special way. The Holy Spirit helps us to remember that we belong to God. We are always in a special, holy place. 3. If we can remember that we are in a Circle of Grace, with God and surrounded by his love, we will remember to behave with respect for ourselves and others. Discuss how their understanding of the Circle of Grace has changed or remained the same. Circle of Grace – Grade 8 Page 10
4. There may be some things you liked in your Circle of Grace when you were younger but do not like now. Example: endearing family nicknames. 5. We are always changing, but God’s love is constant and forever present. Vocabulary •
•
Pass out the Vocabulary Match Worksheet. Allow time for the young people to complete. Review the vocabulary with the young people. Lesson Development Introduction • Discuss and define “Catholic values” and list them on the board. • Use the Ten Commandments Worksheet as a guideline (see the end of Grade 8 lesson). What are some ways that we learn about what today’s “popular culture” values? Make a list on the board, e.g. news, TV, Internet, movies, friends. Today we are going to compare what our faith values versus what popular culture tells us is important. The Ten Commandment worksheet will help you do this task. One example would be that our faith tells us to put God first and only worship him. Popular culture many times tells us that we are the most important. 1. Hand out the Ten Commandments Worksheet for them to complete. 2. When the worksheet is completed, have the young people make their personal list of things they value, both concrete and abstract (e.g. friends, family, faith, music, and independence) on a blank sheet of paper. 3. Talk specifically about moral values that Catholics have and how they compare to popular culture’s values. Have them share what they put on their worksheet. 4. Discuss how both sets of values relate to the sacredness of your Circle of Grace. 5. Have the young people look at their personal list of things which they value. Where do they fit into the Circle of Grace? 6. Discuss how some things might fit into both sets of values. For example, you have a friend who drinks. You value the friendship, but must set boundaries as to how you spend time together. Discussion ‐ Being Morally Responsible 1. How will you be morally responsible? What choices should you make based on the discussion about the Ten Commandments? 2. Is it hard to choose the values of your faith over what popular culture wants you to value? 3. What are some ways we can resist the pressure to choose popular cultural values over what our faith values? (List on the board.) 4. Review PLAAN (see the end of grade 8 lesson). Circle of Grace – Grade 8 Page 11
Closing Prayer Call the youth to quiet down and recognize the Lord’s presence in their midst. The prayer can be read to the young people or they can be given a copy of the prayer to say together (see the end of Grade 8 lesson). With each new day that dawns I am growing up, Lord. It’s not too soon to be thinking of the person I want to become. It’s very hard, I think, to make the choices you desire which are always best for me, even though today’s culture would have me think otherwise. I pray that you will help me and guide me. Let me share, each day, my talents where they are needed, and, when you prompt me with your Holy Spirit, let me have the courage to be generous and open to do what you want. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 8 Page 12
Opening Prayer My God, love my inmost heart. Love the person inside me that fears the world, not the facade I portray to the world. This image is not my inmost heart, it only masks the person you made me to be. This person is trapped in me, afraid to break free, in fear of the world and what people say. Lord, help the person you made me to be break through the act I show the world. What I believe is so important to me, though the world may not see that, it is true. Help me to show the world my beliefs. I realize now that if I shut out the inmost heart, my true real self will be trapped forever. Your divine power is with me always, God. You know my inmost heart. I speak to you as the person you made me to be. Speaking to you frees my inmost heart. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 8
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Vocabulary Match Worksheet Match the definition to the below vocabulary. Write the letter of the definition that best defines the word. A. Value D. Sexuality G. Trust B. Conscience E. Modesty H. Respect C. Trusted Adult F. Morality I. Circle of Grace 1. ______ The way we put our beliefs into action for good. 2. ______ The gift from God that helps me to know the difference between right and wrong. 3. ______ A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 4. ______ Being kind to others and doing what is best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 5. ______ The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 6. ______ Everything that makes us female or male. This includes feelings, attitudes, values, relationships, and ideas. 7. ______ The virtue that respects, honors, and protects privacy: the quality of avoiding extremes of emotion, action, dress, and language. 8. ______ A principle, standard, or quality considered desirable. 9. ______ Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 8
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Vocabulary Match Worksheet Key Match the definition to the below vocabulary. Write the letter of the definition that best defines the word. A. Value D. Sexuality G. Trust B. Conscience E. Modesty H. Respect C. Trusted Adult F. Morality I. Circle of Grace 1. __F___ The way we put our beliefs into action for good. 2. __B___ The gift from God that helps me to know the difference between right and wrong. 3. __C___ A grown‐up who helps me to stay safe in my Circle of Grace and to respect others within their Circle of Grace. 4. __H___ Being kind to others and doing what is best for myself and others because I honor all people as Children of God. 5. __I____ The love and goodness of God that always surrounds me and all others. 6. __D___ Everything that makes us female or male. This includes feelings, attitudes, values, relationships, and ideas. 7. __E___ The virtue that respects, honors, and protects privacy: the quality of avoiding extremes of emotion, action, dress, and language. 8. __A___ A principle, standard, or quality considered desirable. 9. __G___ Being able to count on someone to help me to stay safe within my Circle of Grace. Circle of Grace – Grade 8
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TEN COMMANDMENTS WORKSHEET List a value in popular culture that may be in conflict with each commandment.
OUR FAITH’S 10 COMMANDMENTS POPULAR CULTURE’S TOP COMMANDMENTS 1. I am the LORD your God: You shall not have strange gods before me. ‐put God first, worship only HIM 2. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. ‐use God’s name with respect 3. Remember to keep the Lord’s Day Holy. ‐Mass on Sunday and Holy Days 4. Honor your father and mother. ‐respect your parents 5. You shall not kill. ‐do not hurt others 6. You shall not commit adultery. ‐be faithful in marriage; respect the dignity of the body 7. You shall not steal. ‐do not steal 8. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. ‐do not lie or gossip 9. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. ‐all are called to respect the love between a husband and a wife 10. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods. ‐do not be envious of others Circle of Grace – Grade 8
Page 16
‘PLAAN’ SUMMARY 1. Write on the board: P ‐ Protect L ‐ Listen A ‐ Ask A ‐ Act N ‐ Notify 2. Review ¾ The first letter “P” stands for Protect with Respect. •
•
How do you think respect can help us protect our Circle of Grace? o Answers should include: respecting ourselves as a child of God respecting others because they are also Children of God keeping unsafe words, touches, and images out of our Circle of Grace The letter “P” is about knowing that each of us has a Circle of Grace and respecting it. ¾ The letter “L” stands for Listen. •
In every situation we need to remember that the Holy Spirit is always with us to help us stay safe. •
The Holy Spirit gives us feelings or instincts, and we need to listen to them. •
The letter “L” connects us with the Communion of Saints and the qualities we have been given as expressions of God’s love. ¾ The letter “A” stands for Ask. •
•
•
•
When you have an uncomfortable feeling, you are recognizing the Holy Spirit helping you know that something is not right. The letter “A” asks: “Does this say, ‘Yes,’ to what God has called me to be? Does this belong in my Circle of Grace?” There are some questions that the letter “A” reminds us to ask ourselves whenever we are in a situation that makes us feel uncomfortable or that just doesn’t feel quite right. The questions are also good ones to ask every so often even when we don’t get a gut feeling. Sometimes asking the questions helps us to hear the Holy Spirit when we did not remember that we needed to listen. Read each question allowing a few moments for quiet reflection between each. Circle of Grace – Grade 8
Page 17
1.
2.
3.
4.
How long have you known this person? Is your knowledge of this person face‐to‐face? How much do you know about this person? How have you verified what this person has told you about themselves? 5. What do your feelings (instincts) tell you about this person or situation? 6. How many things do you have in common with this person? 7. Is the relationship respectful of your boundaries and the other person’s? 8. Are you able to say, “No,” to this person? 9. Does this person’s age or status influence your behavior in the relationship? 10. Does this person ever ask you to keep secrets? ¾ The next letter “A” stands for Act. •
•
To protect your Circle of Grace you need to tell trusted adults you need help. There are other things you can do to protect your Circle of Grace when your parents or trusted adults may not be around. Some of them are: 1. Don’t reveal personal information on the Internet. This includes full names, school, grade, address, phone, sports teams, church groups, etc. Perpetrators try to identify young people by learning about their activities and schedule patterns. Be particularly cautious of social networking websites such as myspace.com and personal blogs. 2. Stay away or get away from situations that make you feel uncomfortable. 3. Tactics may include saying, “No,” walking away, calling a parent. 4. Understand that comments about another persons’ physical attributes, race, religion, economic status, etc., that de‐value or criticize are never appropriate. 5. Avoid unsafe situations, which involve alcohol, drugs, and smoking. 6. Be cautious about situations in which one is left alone with an adult. Circle of Grace – Grade 8
Page 18
¾ The last letter “N” stands for Notify. •
Notify your parents or another trusted adult whenever someone or has violated your boundaries, such as manipulating to control you or not respecting your Circle of Grace or someone else’s Circle of Grace. •
Think of three people besides your parents whom you can trust, whom you feel will listen and would offer help. Ask yourself these questions: • Do these people respect your Circle of Grace? • Do they respect their own Circle of Grace? • Do they respect the Circle of Grace of other people that you know? Trusted adults want what is best for you. They want your Circle of Grace to be respected. Discuss with your parents the three other persons whom you feel are trusted adults. Then let the trusted adults know you have chosen them. Share with them what Circle of Grace means to you. Today is a good day to start those conversations.
Page 19
Closing Prayer With each new day that dawns I am growing up, Lord. It’s not too soon to be thinking of the person I want to become. It’s very hard, I think, to make the choices you desire which are always best for me, even though today’s culture would have me think otherwise. I pray that you will help me and guide me. Let me share, each day, my talents where they are needed, and, when you prompt me with your Holy Spirit, let me have the courage to be generous and open to do what you want. Amen. Circle of Grace – Grade 8
Page 20
Grade 8 Evaluation
Parish/School ____________________________________ City _________________________
Leader_______________________________ Number of young people in class________
Each grade’s curriculum was designed to meet the overall program objectives. Please check whether the objectives of the Circle of Grace Program were met. 1. YES _____ NO _____ Young People understand they are created by God and live in the love of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. 2. YES _____ NO _____ Young People will be able to describe the Circle of Grace which God gives each of us. 3. YES _____ NO _____ Young People will be able to identify and maintain appropriate boundaries. 4. YES _____ NO _____ Young People can identify types of boundary violations. 5. YES _____ NO _____ Young People can demonstrate how to take action if a boundary is threatened or violated. Please list what worked well and any resources that you would like to share with others (use back if necessary). Please list any suggestions that would improve lessons (use back if necessary). Return to your School Administrator, Director of Religious Education, or Director of Youth Ministry. Circle of Grace – Grade 8 Page 21

Circle of Grace - St. Monica Catholic Church

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