NOMY LAMM - University

Issue 2 | Summer 2003
Free and Priceless
NOMY LAMM
Fierce, Fat and Fabulous
Seven Ways to Love Your Body
Are We Free Yet?
The Representation of Black Women
Real Women Have Curves
An Interview with Josefina Lopez
P
A Love Letter
U
L from a Feminist
8
9
10
13
21
On the Cover
A Real Woman: Josefina Lopez
Loving Your Body: A Helpful To-Do List
A Punk Rock Goddess: Nomy Lamm
Black Women Exoticized: Yesterday and Today
Beyond the Billboard Simplicity of This World: A Personal Essay Disguised as a Love Letter
Special
4 The Latest in Plastic Surgery: Vaginoplasty
5 Surviving Anorexia and Bulimia
6 Eat This: Unsatisfying Statistics to Chew On
The Soul Chipped Away: The Self-Image of African American Women
7 The Overthrow of Barbie
Que Viva La Mujer de Color
1 5 Too Skinny to Be a “Man”
“I Ain’t No Video Hoe”
1 6 Disabled with Attitude: Gonzalo Centeno
1 7 Our Favorite Beauty Queen
1 8 Woman Warrior: Finding Me through Fighting Cancer
1 9 Films That Make Us Smile
2 From the Heart of the Editor
Letters
3 Our Feminist Sheroes – A Look at Margaret Sanger
Know Your Womanist Faculty – Cal State L.A.’s Kidogo Kennedy
4 Dear Joanna – A Health Column
22 Poets Speak
In Every Issue
Are you down to end sexism, sexist exploitation and oppression?
Then, join the LOUDmouth team!
Now seeking editors, writers, photographers, artists, and then some.
Contact: [email protected] or stop by the Women’s
Resource Center on the second floor of the University-Student Union.
WRC
The Women’s Resource Center (WRC) is part of the Cross Cultural Centers at California State University, Los Angeles. Its mission
is to encourage student learning as well as to foster an inclusive campus environment free of racism, sexism, heterosexism, and other forms
of oppression. With a commitment to increasing cross-cultural awareness, we offer a wide variety of programs and services that explore both
the shared and unique experiences, histories and heritages of our diverse community. Please contact the WRC at: (323) 343-3370;
University-Student Union, 5154 State University Drive, Los Angeles, California, 90032.
The views expressed in LOUDmouth do not necessarily reflect
those of California State University, Los Angeles, the UniversityStudent Union, or their students, staff, faculty and administrators.
Designed
by
U-SU
Graffix
From the Heart of
the Editor
ur bodies. We live in them. They sweat when playing, tremble in danger, and tingle in love. Spiritualists would say that they
are merely a vessel. Materialists, that they’re all we’ve got. Our bodies confine and define us. Yet, really, we’re so much more
O
The racist and sexist tenets of this class system would have us believe that there’s only one body type that is acceptable. This
“beauty myth” is perpetuated by the media, in all its outlets. We live in the City of Angels, the capital of silicone and vanity. Here,
perhaps more than anywhere else in the world, we’re overwhelmed with the message that we’re not okay. We get hit with this lie over
and over, until most of us accept it as truth. We begin to use and abuse our bodies, hating them for looking or not looking a certain
way.
Eventually, hopefully sooner than later, we realize that life is hard enough already. That self-destructive habits are not helpful.
And we decide to notice our wholeness. We begin to heal, to reject self-cruelty. We start to explore the freedom that comes with
appreciating and celebrating our bodies – ourselves – with our never-ending flaws, imperfections and victories.
And through this self-empowerment comes action. We come in all shapes and sizes, with a variety of skin tones and cultural
practices. We are differently abled and disabled. We’re fed up with being told that we’re not. And, we’ve decided to get loud about it.
Women of color are demanding a de-blondification of beauty ideals, an end to the exoticization of their bodies that began
centuries ago. People are losing body parts and the ability to do things – like walk – and finding that, in fact, they haven’t lost anything,
but instead, have found more of themselves than ever before. Filmmakers and artists are providing conscious representations of
women, girls and transgender people, breaking down stereotypes in order to build bridges.
All of this and more you will find in this issue of LOUDmouth. Thank you for reading, for contributing, for challenging the status
quo, and for being you – in all your impressively unimpressive glory.
In the tongue of my grandmothers - salaam,
Stephanie Abraham
Editor – in – Chief
LLetters
hat I appreciate about LOUDmouth is that it shows that it’s all about
choice. What you want is an even playing field, which we don't have today
when it comes to men and women. It is distressing, but not surprising, that
you haven't been able to get more men interested in your cause. I find the bonds
of traditional male masculinity to be quite oppressive in terms of restricting deep
emotion and expression. My confidantes in my life have all been women and Gay
men (I'm straight). Perhaps more than convincing men that feminism isn't an attack
on their gender, I think it's vital that feminists convince men that women's liberation
essentially equates with men's liberation on a multitude of levels.
– Jon Matsumoto
W
think this publication is great. It makes people aware of the inequality between
women and men, it mobilizes people’s minds. However, as a male, I think being
a BMW (Big Mouth Woman) is not enough. I want to see some action, some
achievement to push the movement into the next level. I think we need some IBM
(International Big Mouths) to spread the word, in order to unify every corner of the world.
– Ming
I
Celebrating the release of LOUDmouth
June 3, 2003
LOUDmouth encourages you to get LOUD!
Send letters to the editor to:
[email protected].
Or, place them in our mailbox in
the Women’s Resource Center,
on the 2nd floor of the University-Student Union.
Letters may be edited for length and clarity.
’m glad that I have finally read something that is empowering towards womyn and
educational to all: men, transgender people, and everyone. I’m tired of reading
about losing ten pounds in ten days, how to get him to love you, and tips on
looking beautiful in 15 minutes. I’m fed up with magazines telling me how to get a
man and to be thin and beautiful. Umm – NEWS FLASH! Womyn have always and
will always be beautiful. We don’t need no Cosmo magazine to tell us that!
– Denise Agredano
I
LOUDmouth
2
OUR
feminist
SHEROES
KNOW YOUR
Womanist Faculty
By Crystal Irby
ew people in this day and age know the truth and fewer
people are brave enough to say it out loud. Professor Kidogo
Kennedy is not only brave enough to speak the truth but she
is courageous enough to physically be it. Twists frame her face
that is accented by Ila scars, which she received at age nine in a
village in South Carolina which practices the Yoruba (West African
tribe) tradition. Although she never aspired to be a professor, she
fell in love with teaching after a stint as a Summer Bridge Personal
Development Instructor. After receiving her master’s degree from
Cal State L.A. in Communications with a concentration in Cultural
Ethnography specifically pertaining to Black women and beauty,
Kennedy transitioned into a teaching position. “I expect the best of
people who are struggling,” she says.
Professor Kennedy has dedicated her time and energy at
Cal State L.A. to educating women, especially Black women,
about the truth of who we are and the power we possess. “We are
trying to reach this ideal beauty that is fed to us each day and we
never question it,” she says. “The reality is that it is unrealistic and
it is stealing our true identity.” Professor Kennedy believes it is
crucial to the elevation of women that we realize our worth and
cease participating in our own objectification.
Although Professor Kennedy believes in the liberation of
women, she does not identify herself as a feminist. “I like women
like bell hooks,” she says, “but I don’t believe that women of color
can be feminists because the feminist movement was created for
and by the white aristocracy.” Like many women of color,
Professor Kennedy believes that the feminist movement has failed
to address issues that concern marginalized women such as
racism, poverty, and sexuality. “I am a humanist. I am a womanist,”
says Professor Kennedy. She believes that men and women
should have interdependency and equality between them. “They
say I’m radical,” she says with a laugh. Radical or not, she is an
inspiration.
F
By Kim Weiner
OUDmouth would like to honor Margaret Sanger for
taking a stand to fight for women’s rights by being part of the
concerted effort which succeeded in launching the birth
control movement. Sanger was born on September 14, 1879 in
Corning, N.Y. to a mother combating an illness, who had given
eleven live births.
While working as a nurse in the poorest communities of
New York, Sanger saw many women’s health decline from bearing
too many children, and witnessed many deaths from self
abortions. She quit her job as a nurse in order to promote
information about contraception. In 1914, when her magazine The
Women Rebel was published, Sanger was indicted for violating a
law that prohibited the distribution of any information on
contraception. The magazine advocated birth control and
described how women can prevent pregnancies. A year later her
case was dismissed but Sanger still had many obstacles to
overcome, such as struggles with religious leaders. She was jailed
for 30 days in 1916 for opening the first birth control clinic in
Brownsville, N.Y. After serving her sentence, Sanger did not give
up and still continued to publish pamphlets and articles spreading
knowledge. With her writings, the public came to favor the birth
control movement. In Sanger’s legal appeal, the federal courts
granted physicians the right to give advice about contraception to
their patients. This opened the door to many future birth control
rights that were finally granted to women within the last sixty
years.
Sanger dedicated her life to help women, especially the
poor. In 1921, Sanger founded the American Birth Control League,
which is known today as Planned Parenthood Federation of
America. Eventually she took the campaign for birth control to
different countries. She died on September 6, 1966, at the age of
86, in Arizona. Through Sanger’s hard work, dedication, and
courage, she has led the way for women to have control over their
bodies.
L
LOUDmouth
3
Kidogo Kennedy – Contact her at [email protected].
HEALTH
Dear
Joanna
Joanna E. Gaspar, MS, MPH
: A few of my girlfriends are talking about getting breast
implants. Sure, we hear about movie stars doing it all the
time, but what are the real risks involved? Personally,
I’ve considered breast reduction, how risky would that be?
Q
A
: There are many important issues to consider when
deciding whether or not to have breast implants or breast
reduction surgery. One important fact to know is that breast
implants don’t last a lifetime. Most women will need future followup and surgeries. In addition, the surgery and care of complication
may not be covered by health insurance.
The real risks associated with breast implants include
rupture, pain, capsular contracture, disfigurement, infection, and
dissatisfaction with the cosmetic results. Breast implants can
rupture or deflate over time. Surgery is needed to remove these
implants. Pain can be caused by improper size, placement, and
surgical technique and can last varying amounts of time. Capsular
contracture occurs when the scar tissue that forms around the
implant squeezes the implant. In severe cases this can cause
hardening of the breast, pain, and distortion. Infections caused by
the procedure may require implants to be removed until the
infection is treated. Dissatisfaction with the results may occur due
to unwanted wrinkling, uneven breast size, implant shifting, raised
scars, and changes in nipple and breast sensation. Breast
implants can also affect a woman’s ability to breast feed and
interfere with breast cancer detection. Many of the breast changes
caused by implants are irreversible.
Breast reduction surgery is usually performed for women
who have physical problems as a result of their breast size. These
problems include neck and back pain, painful grooves caused by
bra straps, heat rashes under the breast, and posture problems.
The surgery removes skin, glandular tissue, and fat from
breasts. Risks associated with this procedure include noticeable,
permanent scars; mismatched breasts; nipples that do not align;
inability to breast feed; loss of sensation in the breast or nipples;
and in rare cases the nipple and areola tissue dies off.
Breast implant and reduction surgeries also have the
normal risks associated with any surgical procedure. These
complications include bleeding, swelling, infection, and adverse
reactions to anesthesia. For more information stop by the Student
Health Center or visit the FDA at www.fda.gov and the American
Society of Plastic Surgeons at www.plasticsurgery.org.
The Student Health Center is located on the main walkway across from Biological
Sciences and adjacent to the Center for Career Planning and Placement. For more
information call (323) 343-3300 or go on-line to www.calstatela.edu/unvi/hlth_ctr/.
Services for women and men include but are not limited to: family planning,
counseling and prescribing, immunizations and testing for STDs. Pap smears for
cancer screening are available for women. Outpatient care is available Monday and
Thursday: 8:30 a.m. – 7:00 p.m., Tuesday and Wednesday: 8:30 a.m. – 6:00 p.m.,
and Friday: 8:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m.
Questions for Joanna?
Send them to [email protected]
The Perfect Lips?
By Christine Petit
N LIPS
ot one area of a woman's
body is safe from scrutiny.
Women from the west often
critique countries in Africa and the
Middle East for female circumcision,
calling it “Female Genital
Mutilation” (FGM). Seems here in
the States, we now have our own
FGM – plastic surgery for the
vagina. While the issue of choice
must be taken into account,
parallels can certainly be drawn.
There are two main types of
vaginal surgery. One is advertised
as “vaginal rejuvenation” and the
other is vaginoplasty. Lipoman.com,
next to its link for vaginal
Jack-in-the-Pulpit IV, 1930, Georgia O’Keeffe rejuvenation, includes the tagline:
“Get your virginity back!” This
surgery is promoted as a way for mothers to return to their prechildbirth state and for women in general who want to regain
tightness and enhance sexual pleasure. However, evidence is
sketchy in the sexual enhancement department. If anything, it is
more likely to increase sexual pleasure for men which causes one
to wonder just who these surgeries are being done for.
Vaginoplasty is concentrated on the outside of the vagina. It's
a create-your-own designer vagina sort of thing. Candidates for this
surgery long to return their vaginas to a more youthful state. Women
going in for surgery often request that their vaginas be made to look
like those of Playboy models. According to the Beverly Hills Surgical
Institute website, “Women may feel self-conscious about the appearance
of their labia majora (outer lips) or, labia minora (inner lips). The aging
female may dislike the descent of her pubic hair and labia and desire
re-elevation to its previous location. Women may also seek to
alleviate the embarrassment attached to the involuntary loss of urine.”
While these surgeries may be medically necessary in some
cases, I am not convinced that the majority of women seeking this
sort of thing do it for medical reasons. Why not? Well, for starters it's
advertised in the LA Weekly right along with breast augmentation
and rhinoplasty. Kind of makes me think that this is just the newest
trend in plastic surgery. Already had a boob job? Nose at its peak
point? Maybe your vagina could use a little freshening up!
These surgeries fall right in line with America’s obsession
with youth and appearance and is just one of many examples of
people profiting from women’s insecurities – insecurities magnified
and created by mainstream media and advertising. Additionally,
these surgeries speak to a continued emphasis on a woman’s
virginity. For example, one woman saved money for two years in
order to have vaginal rejuvenation surgery because she regretted
that her husband was not her first sex partner. She told New Woman
magazine that after the surgery, “Every time I moved, my vagina and
stomach would contract. Compared to childbirth, I’ve still never felt
pain like it. My husband was distraught seeing me in agony and he
insisted we wait longer than the recommended six weeks before
having sex. We waited eight and the first few times I was too sore
and tight to manage it. But once I’d relaxed, we had sex and I bled.
I was so excited to have ‘lost my virginity’ to my husband.”
At $3,000-$5,000 each, this type of surgery makes me
wonder how far women will go to meet society’s absurd definitions
of beauty. And at what cost?
Christine Petit is pleased with both pairs of her lips. She can be reached at [email protected].
LOUDmouth
4
In and Out of
ANOREXIA&BULIMIA
And Not Alone
By Chrissy Coleman
nhaling an entire box of nuts and chews,
a half a jar of salted peanuts, a bag of
Pepperidge Farm cookies, a half a pint of
ice cream, and washing it down with three
tall glasses of chocolate milk was just
another typical late afternoon in my world as
a child. Zoning out to shows like Three’s
Company and All in the Family, my stomach
was ready to burst and my mind hazy from
the sedating sugar-carb buzz. Soon I would
scarf down a full three-course dinner,
followed by a rich dessert. And nobody knew.
To my five year old mind, binge eating
was my horrible secret and my greatest vice.
Somewhere between the Chips Ahoy and
gargantuan ice cream sundaes fit for a party
of five, I found a feeling of escape from the
loneliness and isolation of my life. Soon,
though, the ugly evidence of this coping
mechanism began to pack on in pounds and
inches and over a few months I became an
overweight child.
Then the fat jokes began.
At first I recoiled in private horror
hidden in a smile, until one day after my sixth
birthday when I stood in front of a full-length
mirror and turned on myself. With an
extremely critical eye, I vowed to overcome
my horrible defect with self-control. From
that day forward, the connection between
thin and acceptance and fat and unworthy,
drove the disease that has always left me
feeling not quite good enough in my own
skin, regardless of my weight. I’ve been into
every size between six and sixteen, but what
hasn’t changed, until only recently, is the
notion that control causes success and
beauty, and loss of control leads to failure
and ultimate loneliness. It is this faulty
association that has led me through years in
and out of anorexia and bulimia, in which
food as nourishment became a coping
mechanism driving the same old, tired, sick
compulsion to stuff and punish, obsess, and
fret.
And I’m not alone.
The National Institute of Mental
Health reports that approximately one
percent of adolescent girls develop anorexia
nervosa, and another two to three percent
are diagnosed with bulimia nervosa. And
these figures are rising.
Some blame the increase on media
images in entertainment. Health magazine
reported in April 2002 that 32% of female TV
network characters are underweight. Others
point to aggressive advertising campaigns
that suggest desirable women have one
particular look. But what lies outside this
I
LOUDmouth
5
stereotype of images that generate sales is
the reality that each body is unique. Bodies,
like tastes, are different and should be
celebrated, instead of shamed into
conformity. The messages in these ads sell
women directly into this system that supports
increased levels of consumerism. When
women themselves buy into it, they sell their
individual beauty that has little to do with the
size of their waistline. There is a problem
when a woman diets excessively to become
smaller and weaker and calls this
empowerment. It’s not surprising that 90% of
all eating disorders are found in women and
only 10% in men.
Undoubtedly, though, thinness is
valued in our society. A thin body implies
health, success, and power, all of which are
desirable and positive conditions. And
obesity, on the other hand, is a primary risk
factor for coronary heart disease, diabetes,
and stroke. But thinness achieved through
anorexia and bulimia can cause irregular
heartbeat, liver damage from stimulant
abuse, disruption of the menstrual cycle, a
weakened immune system, and ultimately,
death (see “Eat This…” for statistics).
I won’t lie. Although I know these
risks, I still hate food. There are many times
now, even in recovery, that choosing food
over starvation seems like a selection of the
lesser of two evils. The very act of eating can
feel like I am losing control, just one bite
away from throwing in the control towel and
eating my way into oblivion and failure. I
have gained quite a number of pounds since
choosing to give up voluntary starvation and
purging rituals, and it’s hard being heavier.
But I am now faced with a choice: to go back
to all-or-nothing habits that are old and
familiar but dangerous or to break beyond
the fear and truly live in balance.
Perfection is illusory and balance is
true health, but breaking old patterns can
feel like a Houdinian feat, especially when
associated with value-based images of
success, beauty, and self-worth. Yet, selflove is better than any deceptive "win" of the
scale needle dropping lower and the tape
measure getting smaller.
Beyond the
anxiety and safety net of binge eating and
starvation comes the realization that a
perfect image is worth nothing more than the
weight it’s given. In my case, that can be
quite a lot.
But it doesn’t have to be.
Chrissy has it all under control – in a good way. Reach her at
[email protected].
The End to
INERTIA
By Susan Ahdoot
We are taught to eat apples
to feed the hunger of our penance
for what we know (learned).
They fill our mouths and bellies
with wisdom, with fiber, with knowing.
The price of falling,
not skinned knees,
but bodies made perfect with shame.
Corseted, bound, scalpel to rib
for the return of the borrowed,
the impossible waist.
Now augmented to full D splendour.
We are sucked dry through hoses,
taught to hate every curve
that isn’t outlined in bone,
thrust of sharp hip,
curve of exposed rib,
ripple of breastbone.
We swallow our hunger to the point of denial
of blood and breast.
Our fall bought hate for flesh and soft,
for woman.
To eat, a mortal sin.
With each bite the pull of a distant memory:
seduction or coercion, betrayal.
We are taught to eat apples.
Susan believes in rocking the world with her words.
Rock hers: [email protected].
Eat This...
Over one person's lifetime, at least 50,000
individuals will die as a direct result of an
eating disorder.
In the United States…
> Approximately 7 million girls and women struggle with eating
disorders.
> Approximately 1 million boys and men struggle with eating
disorders.
Media distortion…
> The average American woman is 5'4" tall and weighs 140 pounds.
> The average American model is 5'11" tall and weighs 117 pounds.
> Most fashion models are thinner than 98% of American women.
Effect on children…
> 42% of elementary school students between the first and third
grades want to be thinner.
> 80% of children who are ten years old are afraid of being fat.
> 51% of nine and ten year old girls feel better about themselves if
they are on a diet.
"Dieting"…
> 25% of men and 45% of women are on a diet on any given day.
> 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance.
> 35% of "normal dieters" progress to pathological dieting. Of those,
25% will progress to partial or full syndrome eating disorders.
> 91% of women recently surveyed on a college campus had
attempted to control their weight through dieting, 22% dieted "often"
or "always."
> Americans spend over $40 billion on dieting and diet related
products each year. This figure is alarming considering 95% of all
dieters will regain their lost weight within 1-5 years.
Internationally…
> More than 840 million people in the world are malnourished—799
million of them are from the developing world. More than 153 million
of them are under the age of five.
> 6 million children under the age of five die every year as a result of
hunger.
> Worldwide, there are 2,805 calories available per person per day.
Fifty-four countries fall below that requirement; they do not produce
enough food to feed their populations, nor can they afford to import
the necessary commodities to make up the gap. Most of these
countries are in sub-Saharan Africa.
Source: The National Eating Disorders Association and www.bread.org.
ANOREX,
the latest in diet pills, is an “extremely
powerful anorectic agent,” not for the casual dieter,
according to gotsupplements.com. When called on it, the
makers allegedly claimed that the name was not meant to
offend, or invoke associations with anorexia, the disease.
Instead, Anorex was named in the spirit of the adjective
anorectic, describing a loss of appetite. Make you hungry for
ethics? Let them hear you loud and clear: Klein-Becker usa,
5742 W. Harold Gatty Dr., Salt Lake City, Utah, 84116;
(888) 340-1628; [email protected].
CHIPPING AWAY AT THE
Soul and the Self-Image
OF BLACK WOMEN
By Shauna Robinson
hile African American women battle with the short end
of the stick on most public health issues such as AIDS,
heart disease and breast cancer, traditionally, there has
been one arena where African American females excelled: body
image.
For the past few decades, multiple studies have confirmed
that black women are two to three times more likely to be satisfied
with their bodies than Caucasian women. African American
women generally rank higher on the Body Self-Esteem Survey.
Consequently, they are less likely to diet and have unrealistic body
shape ideals.
Is this confidence slipping away? The mass media made
much ado about nothing when Jennifer Lopez became a megastar despite her large behind. The doors seemed to be opening for
symbols of beauty that weren’t based on super thin, super models.
In the African American community, the hype about Lopez’s
ass became an inside joke considering that her figure is modest in
comparison to many black females. The parade of attention
regarding Lopez’s body parts amplified two points. First, the worth
of women – even powerful businesswomen – is often determined
by their bodies. Second, the standard of beauty is as white as it’s
always been. Lopez’s figure was pitted against the likes of Britney
Spears and Gwyneth Paltrow, instead of Oprah Winfrey and Janet
Jackson.
Until recently, it was believed that African American females
largely ignored the scales, which tip toward white beauty
standards. In simpler terms, “thickness” (also known as natural
curves) has been a cultural value among African Americans.
Although there are negative side effects when this physical
comfort level is taken to the extreme, such as obesity and
diabetes. In its purest form, African American women being
comfortable with their bodies has been a source of cultural and
gender pride. Health concerns, low marriage rates and hair issues
aside, sisters seem to be the only Americans who truly like how
they look in the mirror naked. That is internal power magnified.
However, that power may be fading. A 2000 study in
Essence magazine, the largest African American women’s
publication in the U.S., concluded that the confidence of black
females is being chipped away at the soul. More than ever African
American women are adopting attitudes regarding their body
image that are similar to those of white women. The consequence
is that African American women are now at risk for eating
disorders in equal proportions to their white counterparts.
It is encouraging that African American females are
becoming more conscious of their health and body size. It is
daunting to think that, as a result, black women are at a risk for the
type of body neurosis exemplified on television, magazines and in
film.
W
Shauna is a freelance writer and a Jill of all trades. Contact her at [email protected].
LOUDmouth
6
“The emergence of Europeans or
white people as the handlers of world
power and their ability to convince
millions of people that this is the way
things should be is the greatest single
propaganda miracle in history.”
Celebrating Women of Color:
LETTING GO OF BARBIE IDEALS
By Nancy Azpeitia and Susana García
–John Henrik Clarke
H
ave you ever stopped to think about
who defines beauty? Who enforces
the idea that lighter skin, hair, and
eyes are better? And what role does the
media play in reinforcing these ideologies? If
you haven’t, we highly recommend that you
take on this challenge. It’s time we stop
letting others define beauty for us. The media
encourages an unrealistic and unattainable
standard of beauty. Furthermore, it has linked
the trait of light skin and features with beauty,
success, and what is acceptable. Children’s
toys also have a great influence on the way
we perceive the world.
At one point or another in our
childhood most of us played with a Barbie
doll. We dreamed of growing up to become
just like her. She was the most beautiful
woman with her long blonde hair and big blue
eyes. But the truth of the matter is that the
proportions of her body are as unrealistic as
her true representation of beauty. Her hips
and her stomach are too small for her size.
Yet, all these facts are unbeknownst to our
young hermanas and sisters. Through their
eyes, Barbie is the ultimate woman; she
possesses the ideal skin tone and perfect
straight un-nappy blonde hair. Barbie has a
great influence on children of both genders
and all races in terms of defining “beauty.”
According to Dr. Liz Dittrich, the striking part
of the situation is that 90% of girls between
the age of three to eleven own a Barbie doll.
Owning a Barbie can seem harmless until the
child shows desires to grow up just like her –
thin and light-skinned. Girls of color begin to
feel that in order to be successful in society
they must resemble Barbie. Apparently,
European American girls do also, given that
as a group, white women have more plastic
surgery than any other in the world.
Young girls can try as they will to
resemble Barbie. However, when they reach
adolescence, the impossibility to fulfill the
“beauty” definition becomes more apparent.
Many teens of color begin to purchase items
like hair bleaches, skin discolorants, and
color contacts in an attempt to battle nature.
Hair dye is one of the most common products
that is supposed to make us feel “like a
natural woman,” yet, in reality it denies our
true essence. This is common to see among
women of color. For example, when rock star
Shakira made her crossover to the white
dominated market, she did away with her
dark hair color and became a blonde.
Beyonce, another artist, did the same. These
are images that women of color are being hit
with everyday, every time they turn around. If
they turn to the magazine stand or turn on the
television...what do they see? They see
women like them trying to change
themselves in order to fit into a narrow
definition of “beauty” that was defined by
someone else – not by someone like them.
Did you know that the average person
when watching television is bombarded with
commercials that have indirect and direct
messages about beauty? An average person
sees between 400 and 600 ads per day. By
the time they have reached the age of sixty
they have seen 40 to 50 million ads that have
promoted in one way or another the image of
beauty. One out of eleven commercials has a
message about beauty but these statistics do
not involve commercials with indirect
messages. Indirect messages are those
whose main purpose is to advertise a car for
example, but use a blonde model to convey
the message. Perhaps the most detrimental
effect of this bombardment by the media is
that individuals feel great dissatisfaction with
themselves and spend their lives in search of
an unattainable ideal. Hermanas, Compañeras,
and Sisters – don’t let the media define true
beauty. Cherish and appreciate the beautiful
color you inherited from your ancestors.
Don’t buy into the Eurocentric ideology which
degenerates and discriminates against
people of color. Don’t live your life trying to
meet a “beauty” standard which is based on
the belief that “lighter is better.” To this day,
the media has not recognized, accepted, or
given equal representation to true beauty.
Let’s not forget that beauty comes in a variety
of sizes, shapes, and shades. Y.....¡Que Viva
La Mujer de Color!
When Nancy is not out there saving the world, she is
empowering young minds. Get down with her at
[email protected]. Susana is a Chicano Studies major
who can’t get enough of Chente’s Ranchera song, “Y Volver,
Volver.” Serenade her at [email protected].
Que Viva La Mujer de Color!
LOUDmouth received the following letter typed in CAPS:
I WALKED INTO THE STORE DETERMINED TO FIND A MAGAZINE TO READ, HOPING TO MOTIVATE ME TO FINISH
MY LAUNDRY WHICH INCLUDED MY WHOLE WARDROBE (EVEN MY COMFY PANTS AND SLIPPER SOCKS) AND THERE SHE
WAS, THE BEAUTIFUL EVA MENDES, UP AND COMING LATINA ACTRESS, MOST RECENTLY FEATURED IN HER ROLE IN
2FAST 2FURIOUS ON THE COVER OF THE JUNE ISSUE OF GQ.
I COULDN’T BE HAPPIER TO SEE A LATINA ON THE COVER OF AN “AMERICAN” MAGAZINE, BUT WHY DID SHE HAVE TO
BLEACH HER ROOTS? AS I PUT THE MAGAZINE DOWN AND WALKED OUT, I FOUND MYSELF FEELING OVERWHELMINGLY
IRRITATED, ASKING MYSELF, “WHY MUST WOMEN WITH SO MUCH TALENT LIKE SHAKIRA, J-LO, AND EVA MENDES FEEL THE NEED
TO HAVE TO CHANGE THEIR HAIR COLOR TO PROMOTE A CD, MOVIE, OR MOST IMPORTANTLY, THEIR TALENT?” WE, WOMEN OF
COLOR, ARE QUICK TO EXEMPLIFY OUR BEAUTIFUL NATURAL BORN BODIES GIVEN TO US BY THE WOMEN WHO CAME BEFORE
US, OUR TRUE ROOTS: MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS, AND AUNTS. BUT WE FEEL WE HAVE TO COMPLETELY CHANGE OUR
BEAUTIFUL NATURAL DARK HAIR. DON’T GET ME WRONG, I KNOW WE ALL DON’T HAVE DARK HAIR. BUT, WHY CAN’T WE BE JUST
AS PROUD OF ALL THE FEATURES THAT COME WITH BEING A BEAUTIFUL LATINA OR AFRICAN AMERICAN? AND WHY DO SOME
OF THESE WOMEN FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE UP ALL THEIR ROOTS TO BE PERCEIVED AS BEAUTIFUL IN OUR COMMUNITIES?
Eva Mendes, GQ Magazine, June 2003
LOUDmouth
7
– JESSICA F. GONZALEZ, 20
A Woman with
An Interview with Josefina Lopez
C
hispas is definitely the correct
adjective for Josefina Lopez, as she
is a woman with spice. Lopez, 34, cowrote the screenplay for the sleeper hit Real
Women Have Curves. She is also the artistic
director of the multipurpose space and
theater, Casa 0101. Josefina's office is
upstairs in an apartment-like business
building located in an area of East Los
Angeles called Boyle Heights. Casa 0101
has been in existence since April 2000 and is
snugly situated between a mini-market and
pet store. The walls of Josefina's office are
painted with vibrant oranges and reds.
Burgundy drapes adorn the main window that
faces First Street. A long wooden table with a
large golden candelabra sits in the center.
Sirens from the streets howl in the
background during our interview. Josefina
offers me a glass of room temperature water
and I take periodic sips as she tells me her
story.
The movie Real Women Have Curves
spawned from a stage production that was
written by Josefina over a decade ago.
Although she thinks the stage production is
funnier, Josefina is grateful that the movie
was made. In Josefina's words, "I wrote Real
Women Have Curves as a big fuck you to all
the people that said if I lost twenty pounds I
would be so beautiful." Real Women is a raw
authentic story that's set in East Los Angeles
and centers on a senior in high school named
Ana, the daughter of immigrant parents, who
struggles with the choice of attending college
or working for the family business. Ana's
mother is manipulative and overbearing and
attempts to make her feel guilty for wanting to
better herself. However, the underlying
theme of Real Women is really about body
image and self-acceptance. This is clearest
in the signature trailer scene, when the main
characters, women of various body sizes,
strip their clothes off while working in a
garment factory and exhibit and celebrate
their curves and shapes. Josefina states that
growing up she was constantly reminded that
her value depended primarily on her face and
body. She remembers thinking this was
absolutely disgusting.
"Real Women was made to celebrate
women's bodies and the contributions that
Latinas and Latinos have made to Los
Angeles and the U.S." When asked how
close her personality was to Ana's character,
Josefina added, "I wish I was as assertive
and smart as she was at that age." Lopez is
convinced that her gift to the world is to
contribute to humanity through the arts.
Besides bearing the demands of being
a new mother, Lopez has many other
projects on her plate. She's working on her
second screenplay entitled Add Me to the
Party which will also be Lopez's directorial
debut. Add Me to the Party has a
supernatural feminist flavor to it and centers
around three Latinas addicted to adrenalin.
Lopez is also involved in developing a series
for HBO called Macarthur Park.
Currently there is a war against
women just South of El Paso, Texas in
Juarez, Mexico. Hundreds of women and
girls have been violently raped, tortured, and
Josefina Lopez
murdered and at present the slaughter is still
continuing. Josefina reflected on a trip to
Juarez with other artists and how they visited
one of the crime scenes and stood where
mutilated bodies were discovered. She
vividly described how she gazed at the
ground and how she felt the spirits and
energy of the young murdered women.
Lopez also mentioned her brief encounter
with a man spying on their activities and how
it freaked her out. HBO had been seeking a
writer for the Juarez tragedies for years.
Finally, they approached Lopez and asked if
she was interested. She was. Josefina wrote
a script about this issue. What makes it
unique is that it’s told through the lens of one
Chispas
By Jackie Joice
of the victims. There's already a documentary
about the topic called Señorita Extraviada by
Lourdes Portillo. However, Josefina wanted
to approach the story with a different angle by
demonstrating the existence of a supreme
justice from the other side. "One of the things
that made me feel really sad was that there
were so many bodies at the morgue
unclaimed, I guess it had to take a woman to
come up with this angle."
Josefina advises aspiring writers and
writers who are mothers to always write
about what they know and be specific and
authentic to their experiences. "Nothing was
given to me, other than talent. Truth is
universal," Josefina remarks. She stresses
that individuals should never write generic
material that doesn’t apply to anyone. Most
importantly, Lopez encourages writers to
enter as many screenplay and writing
competitions as possible. She also feels that
entering competitions develops discipline
and makes you have to keep your word.
Right now, Josefina confesses that writing is
a privilege for her because of her son. She
believes it's important to have a supportive
husband or partner as she does, activist
Emmanuel Deleage. Now that Josefina has
fulfilled her dream she's now devoted to
assisting her husband reach his.
Some of Josefina's all time favorite
playwrights are Henry Gibson because she
believes that he is a true feminist. When
Josefina read Gibson's plays she was
enthralled by his message: be true to yourself
or else whatever you can't accept about
yourself will kill your spirit. Luis Valdez was
also an inspiration, after viewing his play La
Carpa De Los Rascuachi, which translates
to, “By Any Means Necessary.” Josefina
believes Valdez's message is to do what you
can with whatever you have. Josefina has
operated by these two concepts and has
applied them to her life.
Through years of tenacity and
ambition, enduring doors being constantly
shut in her face, Josefina can honestly say
that she has learned how to win and deal with
success. Josefina holds a master's degree
and teaches classes on writing. As proven,
Josefina is definitely a woman with chispas.
Please contact Casa 0101 for upcoming
shows, times, and general information at
(323) 263-7684.
Jackie is a sassy freelance writer and documentarian who
currently resides in Long Beach, California.
Send her some sass: [email protected].
LOUDmouth
8
Seven Ways to Love
YOUR
through BODY
Thick and Thin
By Ophira Edut
Consider Your Inner Goddess [and /
or God]
Find some private time, even if it's just
a few moments. Then take off your clothes,
and look at yourself. Let the hateful
thoughts run their course, then pass. It will
clear space in your mind for positive ones
to replace them. Don't turn away from your
reflection – try to clear your mind of
judgment and keep looking.
Now look closely at those parts you
struggle with most. Do they remind you of
anyone? Perhaps those full hips once
belonged to your great-great-grandmother.
If not for them, you may not even be here –
her size could have helped her to survive
pregnancy and childbirth. Our bodies are
living family albums. Pay homage to your
ancestors by loving the body they gave you
and the legacy it represents.
1
Think Inside Out
When you picture your body, do you
think about your heart, your brain,
your kidneys? Probably not. More than
likely, you think about your thighs, your hair,
your stomach. Because our society places
so much emphasis on appearance, and so
little on our inner selves, the balance
between the two has been thrown off.
Judy Stone, a bioenergetic therapist
in Ann Arbor, Michigan, teaches women
how to reunite their minds and bodies
through a program called Feeding Your
Whole Self. For many [people] controlling
our appetites or looks gives us a false
sense of control over our lives. As long as
we can focus on "fixing" ourselves, we can
avoid thinking about the fact that we're
unhappy, or that we have unmet needs
we're afraid to address. "People tell me that
they're scared to stop dieting because
they'll eat themselves huge," says Stone.
"But what they're really afraid of is the
tremendous amount of feeling that would
come up."
When you think negative thoughts
about your body, Stone advises doing
something to feel more in touch with it. Take
a walk, write down your feelings, breathe,
sing. "Getting energy moving restores the
2
LOUDmouth
9
flow," she says. "Even if it leaves us crying
and raging, we have to get it out and let life
happen. The more the culture gets
obsessed with denial, the more we overeat
and indulge."
Give Your Mind a Workout
Imagine what would happen if [we]
decided that building mental strength
was as important as pumping up our
biceps. We could start businesses. Earn
degrees. Travel. Uncover new talents. And
imagine the economic power we'd have if
we stopped giving our money to Jenny
Craig and started saving, investing, or
spending it on life-enhancing adventures.
"I have a theory that dieting is a way
to make women disappear," says Rosa, 30.
“The less space we take up, the less power
we have." Although men are becoming
more conscious of their bodies these days,
Rosa points out, "Men work out to get
stronger, to take up more room in the world.
Women try to get smaller, daintier, until we
just turn into pretty little things who can only
think about how many grams of fat we've
eaten today." You are responsible for taking
care of yourself – and this may mean
adding some activity and healthy foods into
your life. But to neglect your inner self and
favor your body is a waste of your gifts.
3
Tell Your Critics to Shut Up
Well-intentioned or not, families and
friends can be a major source of body
stress. They're often the first to criticize
your appearance, or to let you know how
pretty you'd be "if you just lost 20 pounds."
Why don't they realize how hurtful and
destructive this is? The people closest to
you should build up your self-esteem, not
knock it down. They may think they're
offering helpful suggestions, but they're not.
So let 'em know: it's my body and my
business. Stop projecting your hangups on
me. Go eat a Twinkie and leave me alone.
4
Stop Dogging Other Women
Sadly, we women can be our own
worst critics. But consider the toll this
has on sisterhood – and on you. Criticizing
5
another woman's looks makes you look
and feel totally insecure. It also makes you
paranoid – if you do it to them, you'll
automatically assume they're doing it to
you. Dogging each other keeps us divided,
and therefore defeated.
Reality Comes in All Sizes
We all have a unique beauty to
cultivate, whether we're thick or thin. "I
like to think of myself as authentic," says
Dina, 21. "I may not look like a fashion
magazine model, but no one else has my
genetics. So I just try to be the best me I can."
Dina's attitude has helped her to
stop regarding other women as enemies.
"It's not a competition," she says
adamantly. By working toward selfacceptance, and checking herself when
she finds insecurity flaring up, Dina finds
that she now has room to appreciate the
individual beauty in other women, as well
as in herself.
6
“Fat” is Not an Insult
Many people consider being called
“fat” the kiss of death. The fear of
gaining weight – or of being seen as fat – is
greater than the fear of destroying their
health with punishing diets and exercise.
Fat discrimination, some activists argue, is
one of the last truly acceptable forms of
prejudice in America. Today, many women
are choosing to describe themselves as fat
– proudly.
“And fat,” explains Alice Ansfield,
publisher of Radiance: The Magazine for
Large Women, “has been used against us,
as though 'fat' and 'ugly' go hand in hand."
Her advice to ALL is to walk with your head
up, and to never, ever apologize for your
size. "Get into your body," she adds. Treat
yourself to a massage, an hour in a hot tub
or a sauna. Dance naked in your room, or
go out and shake whatever your mama
gave ya. Take a walk for enjoyment's sake
– and leave the five-pound barbells at
home.
7
Excerpts from this article were taken from www.adiosbarbie.com.
Photo source: www.nomylamm.com
Nomy Lamm’s website (www.nomylamm.com)
calls her a “Fat ass, Bad ass, Jew, Dyke,
Amputee.” Her new show Effigy is the result of
ten years of body image activism. Nomy
NO MY
LA MM
became very visible in the early 1990’s during
the
peak
of
the
artistic
and
political
phenomenon of Riot Grrrl, when she began
writing to empower herself and her various
identities in terms of size, sexuality, and
physical ability through the medium of the
punk rock counterculture. Effigy is a sort of
electro-pop opera combining visual images,
theater, and synth-pop music, not to mention
very distinct characters and personalities.
Interview with a Punk Princess
By Rocío Carlos
Nomy herself is a princess, a cheerleader, a
victim of western medicine gone wrong, and a
veiled bride all in the same two hours. Her cast
of hot chubby back-up dancers, baton twirlers,
and a punk Chicana rapper make this a truly
multimedia, if not multi-tasking experience. I
met with Nomy the day after Effigy opened in
L.A. to talk about art, colonization, and body
image today.
LOUDmouth
10
RC: This issue is about body image politics. After many years of doing this
kind of activism, what do you have to say about body image and standards
today, in the U.S. and globally?
NL: Well it’s definitely a form of control, a tool of consumerism. We live in
a consumerist culture that has really specific ways that we’re supposed to
act and be in the world and I feel like it’s this huge distraction for people. If
you think that there is something wrong with you and that you have to
change somehow in order to be loved and have a good life, then that’s what
you’re going to focus on instead of trying to detangle all these –
“I think it takes a certain a
system, and then figuring ou
truths into the world in or
Like get health care, or decent wages –
Or even just being listened to by your friends or your family.
Like if adolescent girls could stop having the conversation of
“I’m so fat…,” they could talk about real problems that they’re
having. As long as we have these intense value judgments
around fat, we can’t look at our actual experiences and say
“this is the way that I can operate in the world because I have
a thin body,” or “I have to work a little bit harder in the world
because I have a fat body” or whatever. And it keeps fat people
silent. The beauty standards are developed by such a specific
group of people.
Tell me a little bit more about the colonization of our bodies by
this standard. How do we de-colonize?
There’s just so much to deal with in this world, even just
thinking about how we live on colonized land. I mean what we
see around us is not right for this land. There is not a normal
way to function in this society, because our society is totally
fucked up, and the only way you could feel like it’s okay is to
have a lot of fucking money, which most people don’t.
I saw this woman speak once and she said that everyday
that she wakes up she knows that she is on colonized land.
That white people have the privilege of not being aware of that,
or only thinking about it when it’s convenient, and that she
wanted everyone to think about that everyday when they wake
up. I was really impacted by that. I think it takes a certain
amount of figuring out the system, and then figuring out how to
bring our personal truths into the world in order to be able to
survive.
It’s really hard to grow up in a fat body or later get fat and
not feel intense shame around that. Making your own body
invisible in the world is a really hard thing, all of your energy
gets focused into it. I’ve been doing fat activism work for like ten
years and still it’s there, everyday. Growing up I had a fake leg,
I was fat, and I was on diets all the time. I was embarrassed
about my body all the time and didn’t want people to see it. I
was getting shit from my parents for being lazy or not exercising
enough, but at the same time I had nowhere to put that energy,
nowhere to really connect with my body. It took a lot of years of
treating my body like shit and not knowing what was good for
me. And meanwhile I was doing all this political work about
loving your body and still treating myself this way because I
didn’t know how to take care of myself. I quit smoking about a year ago.
I’ve started doing yoga. Preparing for this show has been a really intense
process for me physically because it’s very demanding – especially vocally
– and now I’m okay. I have to take care of myself enough and understand
myself enough to be able to do this thing that I love.
There’s not a lot of encouragement for that, for fat people, or people
with disabilities, to work with our bodies and our talents and our abilities.
You know, there’s certain things that I can’t do, and there’s certain things
that I can do that nobody else can do. I think it’s really cool to watch my
dancers and be like “you’re wearing hot pants!” They’re so cute and so hot
and it makes me very happy to have these other fat girls on the stage who
are going through the same process with it. That can affect the people who
see it.
LOUDmouth
11
There are those people who still call that objectification
rather than empowerment. How do you respond to that?
You can’t just write off sexuality. Sexuality has a lot of
different elements. I think that it’s about a certain person or
industry that is controlling that objectification and the ways
that people are compensated or aware or exploited that
makes it a tricky feminist issue. But in this context, there are
a bunch of queer people presenting queer art. The queer
community is just really open sexually in a lot of ways to a
lot of different things and it’s not about, “I’m doing this
because I saw on TV that this is what makes a person sexy.”
It’s more like, “there are a lot of different ways to express
your sexuality and here is one of them.”
amount of figuring out the
ut how to bring our personal
rder to be able to survive.”
It’s a big let down, especially for young girls who invest in this role
model as someone who doesn’t give in to the standard. It gives them
strength, and then when they do get thin, it “proves” that fat people can’t
succeed or be happy.
Yeah like Carnie Wilson –
Who had her stomach stapled.
It doesn’t make sense to me because I remember when she was fat and
she would have these talk shows like, “how fat women can be sexy,” and
then two years later she’s talking about how great it is and how
happy she is [now that she is thin].
I think that my work works best through underground
networks, with people connecting to it and finding it rather than
being fed it. I personally don’t want to live a life that is in that
[mainstream] realm, I don’t want that kind of attention or that
kind of pressure. I feel like just being a person and being
visible is subversive in itself, but the more exposure you have,
the more vulnerable you are to people’s judgments and
opinions too. I recently got this really fucked up email from
somebody that said: “You’re kidding yourself if you think you’re
beautiful. Most people don’t think you are. In fact you’re totally
ugly and disgusting, you look like a fetus that should’ve been
aborted and lived for too long. Why don’t you do everyone a
favor and kill yourself.” Why would somebody waste their time
writing that? I thought about all these different responses I
could have. And it’s actually been empowering to tell that story
at shows, where the audience gets upset about it. Here is
somebody else freaking out about it when I couldn’t. That was
really cathartic. My existence is my own and it doesn’t matter
what anybody else thinks about me.
How long have you been working on Effigy?
Are there any mainstream role models that you are like,
wow she’s fat and proud and still getting work, like
Cameron Manheim?
I think people who work within the system are important. But
then it’s like, will there ever be a fat celebrity who doesn’t get
thin? Cameron seems pretty down, but there are so many
different people who –
Missy Elliot
Yeah! Missy Elliot. I mean, I have no idea why her body
changed and that’s not for me to judge. I have a lot of friends
who’ve been fat and changed not because they were hating
themselves and dieting but because their bodies changed,
and that’s what happens sometimes.
I started writing the songs right after I finished working on The
Transfused, so that was almost three years ago. From The
Transfused, I got a little bit of money and bought a drum
machine and that was when I started working on programming
stuff and writing these kinds of pop songs. I moved to Chicago
in the fall so it’s been a really different process since I haven’t
had the people around me to sit down and work on it with, it’s
been all through email. Jenna and Courtney – my dancers –
they sent me an audition video, and I would send them
instructions on the computer. I’d be like “O.K., beat seven, put
your head up!” I had at one point flown a friend out to Chicago
to help develop the album as a script. I had another solo CD
that came out about five years ago and I never really
promoted it, but for this one I really wanted to. I worked really
hard on it. But when I thought about touring I was like, “I don’t
want to just go out by myself and sing in rock clubs!” – not that
that’s bad. And actually we are ending up doing a lot of shows
in rock clubs and that’s been a lot of fun. But I just think of
things really theatrically and I was like, this is what I want to
wear and this is how I want to come across. I feel that having
back-up dancers makes it so much more than just ME performing this stuff
by myself, especially because I don’t have a band. And this time my sister
is on tour with me!
After 10 years of this activism – doing it, living it – are you ever seduced
by the monster of the standard?
It’s really hard when your body doesn’t look like anything you see around
you to keep up that stamina. But this is me and that’s awesome. I’m not
going to hide myself or live in the world in a way that makes me feel like
I’m not a part of it. I’m fucking here, so I’m going to work it!
Rocío is a bad ass teacher and poet who just celebrated a birthday. Congratulate her at [email protected].
LOUDmouth
12
21st Century
By Crystal Irby
uring the early 19th century, as the
world was engrossed in a heavy debate
about the slave trade, Saartjie
Baartman (Sara Bartman), also know as the
Hottentot Venus, was brought to Europe and
“led by her keeper, exhibited (nude) like a wild
beast, attention focused on her protruding
buttocks which for an extra charge, viewers
could poke and prod.” This was done in the
name of science, but served to reinforce
racist ideologies. Bartman was displayed for
five years, until she died, in Paris, at the age
of twenty-five. Even in her death, the
degradation of her body continued. George
Cuvier’s autopsy notes, written after he had
dissected Sara’s body, abound with savage
bestial metaphors and analogies. He found
that she had a way of pouting her lips exactly
like he had observed in the orangutan. He
compared her protruding buttocks “to the
buttocks of mandrills and other monkeys.”
Finally, he stated, “I have never seen a
human head more like an ape than that of this
woman.” In terms of the dominant ideology of
the time, Sara was socially configured and
relegated to her place. Her body was then
divided and sold to natural history museums.
According to bell hooks, “Her genitalia
preserved in formalin and her skin stuffed and
put on display in England.”
D
The Hottentot Venus. Source: H. Honour (1989) Image of the Black in Western Art, 53.
LOUDmouth
13
HOTTENTOT:
B L A C K
W O M E N
STILL ON THE BLOCK?
The degradation of Sara Bartman’s body by what was
defined as science lay the foundation for the notion that women
of African descent were prone to deviant sexual behavior due to
the primitive structure of their sexual organs. Anthropologist
Cesare Lombrosco, co-author of the major study of prostitution
in the late 19th century, The Prostitute and the Normal Woman,
wrote that the source of their passion and pathology lay in the
labia, which reflected a more primitive structure than their
upper-class counterparts.
As I sit here today and watch music videos saturated with
the half naked bodies of women, particularly those of African
descent, my heart breaks. It saddens me to realize that almost
200 years later the Hottentot Venus is still a reality. The flesh of
African American women is still put on display for the
amazement and entertainment of the world. We have yet to
move from the auction block. Our nude bodies are still being
bought and sold for work. The entertainment industry is being
built on the backs of our bodies. It is damn near impossible to
sell anything – a record, a movie – without showing at least a
woman’s midriff. When a young pop star wants to save her
dying career, her music doesn’t get deeper and more
intellectual. Her clothes come off. When Justin Timberlake left
N’Sync and his boy band image behind, I didn’t see him on his
album cover or any magazine wearing only boxers. What’s even
more devastating is, unlike Sara Bartman who had no choice,
women today consciously participate in our own objectification
in the name of expressing our sexuality, as I have heard many
young women argue. This “expression of sexuality” gives the
impression that women are making their own choices about
their bodies. However, it’s mostly men who are directing and
producing the videos. Instead of achieving sexual liberation,
we are in fact being socially configured and relegated to our
place, just like Sara Bartman. Darlene Clark Hines argues,
“Black women are creating a culture of dissemblance which is
the behavior and attitudes of Black women that create the
appearance of openness but actually shields the truth of their
inner lives from themselves and their oppressors.” The reality is
that being comfortable with one’s sexuality has little to do with
how much clothing one can do without.
I would love to live in a world in which women are free to
unclothe their body without being reduced to sexual objects. I
would love to exist in a space in which women don’t have to
think about the image their bodies project everyday. I’d even
settle for a world in which women are half naked in videos right
along side a male in his underwear. However, the reality is we
do not exist in that world. We live in a society in which women
are blamed for the brutal violence inflicted upon their bodies.
The reality is we exist in a society filled with sexism and
therefore, the bodies of men are viewed differently from the
bodies of women.
The answer is complicated. I don’t feel that women
should cover their bodies and repress their sexuality. But I don’t
feel the answer is to stand spread leg over a video camera and
“drop it like it’s hot” either. We must educate ourselves and be
conscious of the history our bodies bring to the table. We are
sexual beings, not sexual objects and if we truly desire
liberation and respect we should make our choices accordingly.
Crystal received her B.S. in Film & Television Production and M.A. in Theater Arts in which
she studied the representation of African American women. Contact her at
[email protected].
LOUDmouth
14
Skinny in a Man’s World
One Guy’s Story
By Darren Gabriel Brown
’ve got a problem many women would consider enviable: it’s hard
for me to gain weight. It’s a condition I’ve dealt with my whole life. In
grade school the larger boys, practically every boy, called me
“stickman.” Nevertheless, I knew none of my classmates felt
comfortable taking a shower after physical education class, because
no one ever did. Everyone seemed afraid to do so, even if it meant
going to class stinky. At that point, I knew that I, like my male
classmates, was insecure about my body.
It’s a myth that men aren’t concerned with their bodies. Suspend
all logic and you get this: most men want to be bigger than they are.
Although, according to the latest surveys, women actually prefer
average sized men. Never mind reality. Men don’t believe it. According
to the book The Adonis Complex, men want to be thirty pounds more
muscular than they are. That’s true for me, but I am thinner than
average.
We see each other as competition; we want to be bigger and
stronger than the next man. It’s ironic though, because by the time you
are old enough to safely bulk up, the threat of physical violence
diminishes and borders on mental illness. In our brains we are trying to
gather power over the next man. Physical power is one of those devices
which has a double impact: it seems attainable and appears desirable
to women. It’s an undeniably harsh fact that looks matter. The pressure
is all around us in the press, which reinforces and creates the ideal, and
it is an exceptional person who can ignore it. Still, the pressure men feel
to have rippling muscles is not anywhere close to the intense pressure
that women feel to conform to an ideal body type. However, that
pressure is growing. In less than ten years, the number of men who
have had plastic surgery more than tripled. I’ll never go that far.
I know what it is like to not be skinny. I am six-foot-one and the
most I ever weighed was 175 pounds, the result of three years of weight
training and running in high school. I put on the weight because I was
135 pounds, which would have been perfect for a female modeling
career, but not for a wannabe sprinter. I hit the weights for two hours a
day, five days a week. At the end of two years, I could squat – put a bar
across my shoulders and bend my knees into a sitting position – 465
pounds. Girls liked my muscles. Several would come up to me and ask
me if they could feel them at least a few times a week. I obliged. I dated
more and felt more confident than I did when I was 135 pounds. Two
months after graduating from high school, I shed almost everything I
gained. By my second month in college, I had lost it all and was down
to 130 pounds. But I felt that I had more important things to think about,
and school and work consumed all my time. At that point, I ceased
caring about my weight and focused on my studies and new passion,
mountain biking. Until last year when I went to a friend’s birthday party
and rode a mechanical bull. I stayed on the bull for a long while, but
when I got off, my bicep was killing me, for a whole week. Then I
weighed myself. 135 pounds. I was so light, I was underweight. I felt
weak too – I could encircle my bicep with my fingers. It was time to hit
the weights again. Now almost a year later, I’ve put on twenty pounds
of muscle by eating a lot (about 3,000 calories per day) and lifting a little.
Lifting weights makes me feel better because it’s comforting to know
that I can bench press 205 pounds. Although, there are few real life
situations where that would be necessary. I must say I never felt
victimized or damaged by not having fifty extra pounds of muscle. I still
strive to meet a standard. Some things just are the way they are until a
new standard comes around.
I
Darren is the Editor-in-Chief of the University Times. Send him a letter at [email protected].
LOUDmouth
15
“I Ain’t No Video Hoe”
A WOMAN’S
EXPERIENCE IN THE
WORLD OF RAP VIDEOS
By Stacee Lee
even years ago in my not-so-conscious days, I would eagerly
scout talent agencies that were seeking young women with
“tight” bodies to work as extras in rap music videos. I had grown
up hearing the “dope” beats of hip hop and I was a fan of most rappers
such as: 2PAC, Notorious B.I.G, LiL Kim, Ice Cube, and others that
were making hits in the ‘90s. So, it didn’t take much to make this
nineteen year old girl gyrate in front of the camera, wearing clothes
that left nothing to the imagination.
On average, the majority of women working as extras in music
videos only make $50 dollars a day. This breaks down to an estimated
$5 an hour for a ten hour plus shift. However, wages were the least of
my concerns. I loved the music. So, I was willing to shake everything
that God blessed me with to lyrics that called females hoes and b------.
It didn’t take long before I felt the need to retire from this shortlived career. Working on the sets with Master P, 2PAC, and LL Cool
J, I quickly became dissatisfied with my invariable role as a video
extra: a woman that was only seen for what her body looked like and
the way it swayed to the beat. I wanted respect. Fifty plus other
women and I would sit for hours freezing in the cold most of the time.
Typically, the taping would take place outside and our itty bitty clothing
could not keep us comfortable, let alone warm. We would wait for what
seemed an eternity to prance around these rappers (usually men) who
spit out lyrics that degraded women.
I thank God that I got out of the rap video game early enough
to preserve my integrity. I found these experiences, although few, had
subconsciously stripped me of my self-respect. As I glance now and
then at the hot videos of the day, I often wonder when these artists,
especially rappers (although I do not exclude any other music genre
that has a history of pushing misogynistic lyrics), will wake up and
realize that they form and contribute to the negative perceptions of
women, especially African American women and girls in our society.
Whether rap videos and lyrical content reflect relations in urban
America or vice versa is a matter for investigation. The media, having
a great influence on individuals and the power to change the thinking
of the masses at any given time, is largely responsible for the images
that they produce and profit from. They should be accountable as well.
When my daughter’s male classmate who is only nine, made
reference to my daughter’s not so developed behind, calling it “big,”
and taunting her with inappropriate remarks about her body, I realized
that our children are highly influenced by music and videos, and are
extremely susceptible to the media. Those who say that rap does not
sway our young ones need to seriously take a reality check. The
dilemma of social relationships in urban neighborhoods between men
and women needs to be taken seriously, analyzed, and improved
upon.
This is not, nor could it be, a condemnation of rap music as a
genre. I give much respect to the conscious hip hop artist: Lauryn Hill,
Common, KRS One, The Roots, and others on the path who strive to
create a space for positive expression.
S
Stacee is an African American woman who relaxes to the music of Miles Davis’ “Kind Of Blue”
under candlelight, while indulging in the food that she finds better than any boyfriend she’s ever
had: salmon and oysters. Don’t contact her during dinner: [email protected].
Life with a Disability: It’s all about
By Maria Neal
onzalo Centeno is the Disability
Management Specialist in the Office for
Students with Disabilities at Cal State
L.A. The first thing one notices about Gonzalo
is his smile, the second is his wheelchair.
When Gonzalo was thirteen, he suffered a
spinal cord injury in a swimming accident. He
broke his neck at the C5-C6 level while diving
into the shallow end of a swimming
pool. The accident left Gonzalo
paralyzed from the chest down and
from his elbows to the tips of his
fingers. However, as the break was
incomplete, he retained full sensation
throughout his entire body.
When asked what he would
change about himself given the
opportunity, Gonzalo asserted that he
would change his procrastination
habits. “They get me into a significant
amount of trouble,” he said. One might
find it strange that Gonzalo did not
mention the desire to change his body,
improving his motor skills. In fact, he
asserts that he does not miss walking.
He stated, “It is not an essential part of
my life at this point.” According to
Gonzalo, his disability is not as limiting
as people might expect. “I would think
that I would be more depressed,
wishing I could walk,” he said, “but I
think I do everything I really want to do.”
Gonzalo’s disability has played
an interesting role in his relationship
with his father over the years. “My
father is a sports fanatic. He could play
everything,” Gonzalo explained. His
dad also coached baseball and soccer,
trained boxers and played racquetball.
“When I had my injury, it was very
difficult for him to accept it. When you
are that much of a sports fanatic and
your only son isn’t able to play, it’s
hard,” Gonzalo said. In spite of his frustrations,
Gonzalo’s father tried to reach out to his son
on other levels, finding other activities in which
they could participate together.
In 1995, Gonzalo’s father acquired a
spinal cord injury. The break was, as
Gonzalo’s, at the C5-C6 level. “As adults we
have a different relationship, especially since
the fall. We connect significantly, but we still
maintain some of the same differences that we
had when I was younger,” he explained. While
it might be tempting to lump individuals with
similar disabilities into categories, assuming
that they are the same, Gonzalo strongly
warns against such stereotyping. “You are
very much an individual; you still have your
own personality. I like to take risks. My father
G
the Attitude
is more reserved. These were our
personalities prior to the accidents, we
maintain them,” he asserts.
It may be assumed that certain traits
and attitudes develop as a result of injury or in
response to a disability. Gonzalo maintains
that this is not the case. “That perspective
existed even before the disability, only now
Gonzalo in front of the Eiffel Tower.
you notice it,” he said. “It is not about the
disability; it is your outlook on life.”
While Gonzalo’s approach to life is
enthusiastic and bright, he admits to feeling
frustrated on occasion. “I’m not Mr. Perfect on
my disability thing. There are times when you
do feel down,” he said. “However, I feel that
this is just in response to the everyday events
of life and growing up, whether it is
relationships, friendships or family problems.”
Gonzalo sees negative public attitudes
and stereotypes as some of the biggest
obstacles in his life and in the lives of others that
are differently abled. He also voices concern
over the way they are portrayed or not
portrayed in the media. “People with disabilities
are not shown in everyday life,” he said. “If you
see a person with a disability in a television
show or a movie, it is almost always a
stereotypical man-in-wheelchair cameo.” In his
opinion, the media focuses disproportionately
on the physical. Gonzalo asserts that
individuals are multi-dimensional. “You can be
the most beautiful person in the world, but if
your attitude sucks it does not matter,” he said.
Gonzalo, a Mexican American, has a
love affair with France and has visited
three times. He completed his B.A. in
French and is now pursuing an M.A. in
the same field. “Before the accident I
played music, so I tried to go back to it
afterward, but it just didn’t do it for me
anymore. In high school I took Spanish,
but we spoke it at home and I found it
was too boring. So, I tried French,” he
explained. He’s been in love ever since.
When he starts to talk about French
cinema he shakes his head back and
forth slowly in disbelief. “The French
know how to do it,” he says, with
attitude. “Catherine Deneuve’s Belle
De Jour and Kieslowski’s three color
trinity: Blue, White, and Red are my
favorites. I love French film for their
ideas, which are more representative of
human nature without the stereotypes
of society.” His dream is to write and
direct films that mesh the best of
French cinema with everyday life for
people with disabilities.
Gonzalo encourages people to ask
questions and not to be afraid to get to
know individuals with disabilities. “If I
could broadcast a message to the
entire world it would be this: we people
with disabilities are like everyone else,
in all aspects of life – personal, social
and professional.” Gonzalo mentioned
a paraplegic woman who did a spread
for Playboy in the 1980s. “She said that
she wanted to show that people with
disabilities could be just as sexual and just as
beautiful as anyone else. She didn’t have to do
that, but sometimes it takes something that
extreme to get people’s attention.”
Contact Gonzalo at the Office for Students
with Disabilities at (323) 343-3140. Or, by email
at [email protected].
Look for the Wheelchair Basketball Exhibition
Game on campus in October,
National Disability Awareness Month.
For information contact Juan Muñoz at
[email protected].
Maria is one busy cookie, but tries to sleep once in awhile.
Remind her to get some rest at [email protected].
LOUDmouth
16
O F
K I N D
Beauty Queen
ome might say that Kristina Sheryl Wong is asking to get
her ass kicked.
A N O T H E R
S
Kristina as Fannie Wong.
“Fannie! The answer to every beauty
myth, feminist dilemma and April Fool’s.”
– Kristina Sheryl Wong
In May 2000, Wong launched what has been her most
prolific art project, www.bigbadchinesemama.com, a mock mail
order bride site that set out to purposely intercept the traffic of the
whitest of white oppressors hunting for Asian porn. The sections
of her spoof mocked actual sections of real mail order bride sites
including a "Harem of Angst" complete with not so exotic brides
and their aggressive bios. The site created heated reactions from
viewers who would write her with monikers like "Neo Nazi
Skinhead" and "Angry White Male" who threatened Wong. But that
didn’t make her want to take her site down.
"I was tired of going to Asian American art events where
performers would preach their agendas to the converted. I wanted
to see what would happen if I put their agendas that I don’t always
agree with up to the most challenging audience of all."
Wong says she likes creating work that has a subversive,
prank-like element. She’s inspired by Michael Moore and his old
TV show, The Awful Truth. "That show was awesome, he would
basically stage these crazy stunts in public and make an ass of
government officials, the NRA, or big business. It was like street
theater."
Last year, she began to make "celebrity appearances" of
the laughable "Fannie Wong, Former Miss Chinatown 2nd Runner
up" character in public. Fannie Wong is the whisky-drinking,
lapdance-giving, Brooklyn-accented, not-so-ladylike counterpart
of the more "refined" women who compete in the Miss Chinatown
pageant. Wong has performed Fannie Wong at art openings,
onstage, at fundraisers, and has made appearances at the actual
Miss Chinatown pageant and other places where real Miss
Chinatowns reign (though removed several times by security).
"Fannie Wong is the exaggerated persona of who I would
be had I run for this Miss Chinatown pageant. I would be the very
not so perfect, life of the party, awkward beauty queen who
despite fitting in so poorly was still proud of who I was."
Wong also adds that when she performs Fannie Wong,
people stare in shock. Others laugh. And sometimes, people treat
her like a real Miss Chinatown. "I love being this drag queen
except I’m a woman dressed as a woman – just awkward."
Wong has two solo shows under her belt. Her first show,
Miss Chinatown 2nd Runner Up, looks nothing like the Fannie
Wong performance and draws on the shame connected to
exploring sexuality. Her latest show, Free?, makes fun of didactic
spoken word among critiques of freedom, interspersed with an
auction of items from Wong’s life.
Kristina challenges gender and ethnic stereotypes,
reaching out to the not-so-common-viewer. This, perhaps, makes
her vulnerable to an ass kicking. But maybe people are too busy
laughing at how she has subversively tucked her political agenda
into her art to really want to hurt her. Or maybe, she’s the one
kicking ass.
Send Fannie some fan-mail: [email protected]. And, visit the beauty queen on-line at
www.kristinasherylwong.com.
LOUDmouth
17
10
ME
By Julianne Buescher
have no boobs. Seriously. I’m not being
all, “Oooh, I HATE my A-cups.” Actually, I
was a D. I had cancer eight years ago
and had them removed. So, since then, I’ve
been flat (spelled “phlat”!) and I wouldn’t
change a thing.
Cancer runs in my family – the way
some families have bad teeth. I grew up
watching mom and grandma fight through
their treatment and go on with their lives, as
if they had had a molar pulled. And I
watched their husbands stand by them. So
when my turn came around to pull the
cancer tooth, I just assumed that being
breastless would never be an issue. And
why should it be? Why should a lump of fat
make me more or less of a woman?
I was diagnosed with DCIS in the
right breast and my left breast was fine. But
I wanted them both off. Grandma told
stories about how she (and mom) had one
breast removed and got cancer again five
years later in the other one. There were no
prosthetics back then, and she wore a sock
filled with bird seed to match the remaining
breast. I tried to imagine myself
backpacking and having my seed-filled
tittie-sock pop out of my shirt and go rolling
down the hill. No thanks – decision made!
The tough part was all the people
around me who couldn’t deal. If you want to
know who your real friends are, get cancer.
I
Resculpting Venus, 1998, Julianne Buescher
Even my boyfriend freaked. He wanted to
know if, when I got “rebuilt,” I would
consider a size or two larger. Could I have
suddenly felt any more single? And just
what does “rebuilt” mean, anyway? Hello! I
was born without breasts and haven’t had
‘em that long! I was me when I was born
and I’m still me now – boobs or not.
I remember seeing this girl at a
concert. Her right arm had been amputated
above the elbow. She wore a tank top
without a prosthetic. What made her so
stunning was that she moved through the
space as if nothing about her was missing.
Also, the friends surrounding her didn’t treat
her differently. None of them, especially the
girl, were the least bit concerned about
anyone looking or saying something about
it. She was one of the most powerfully
complete women I’d ever seen.
Going through cancer surgery and
treatment doesn’t leave a lot of energy to
care about what other people think. One
day, mom walked in on me while I was in
the bathroom. I was standing in front of the
mirror rubbing my bald head, contemplating
my new body, when she opened the door. I
jumped back and she gave a little yelp.
She’d never seen my scars. I let her look.
Then she unbuttoned her shirt. I’d never
seen her scars, either. I reached out to
touch the thin layer of skin that covered her
ribs. I could see her heart move. We fell into
a hug, swaying, tears dripping onto our
chests. I am the daughter of warriors. And I
am alive!
It’s been eight years, I’m still phlat
and have found the CUTEST bikini!
Recently, at the beach, my friends and I
were putting on sunscreen and one of them
was whining about her breasts being
lopsided. My other friend tried to boost her
confidence by saying, “Well, being lopsided
is better than having none at all.” I popped
back my sunglasses, smiled, and said, “You
sure about that?” It took her a moment to
realize what she had said and then we all
burst out laughing! She had totally
forgotten! And that’s when it hit me. I had
become like that girl with one arm – so
absolutely comfortable, so completely
myself that my friends didn’t see anything
missing. And that’s why casting directors
hire me. And why men (not boys) ask me
out. I’m 100% me! And the happiest I’ve
ever been! And no amount of cash – or
silicone – can buy that kind of smile! Or
maybe I’m just lucky that my family has
great teeth!
Check out Julianne’s film Resculpting
Venus at www.newvenus.com.
Julianne is an actress and then some. Send her some love:
[email protected].
LOUDmouth
18
Film
Venus Boyz:
Revolutionizing Gender
Dred Gerenstnat, a rising Haitian-American king performs an act that gets
at race, gender, and sexual identity stereotypes.
By Amanda R. Davis
hat makes a woman? Venus Boyz, a documentary by
Gabriel Baur, explores this question by chronicling the
acts of various drag kings, women who dress as men,
and the lives of several female-to-male transgendered individuals.
LOUDmouth applauds this film for radically challenging
traditional concepts of gender.
The film explains that society teaches women to assess
their worth by how well they fit the expected female model.
Women are generally taught that they must be pretty, wellbehaved, and nurturing in order to be liked. There is very little
tolerance of individuals that do not fit the established, rigid gender
roles. However, the individuals featured in Venus Boyz suggest
that gender can be what you make of it and that there are various
forms of femininity.
In doing drag, women challenge the dominance associated
with the traditional male role. Diane Torr, who has been doing drag
for over twenty years, explains that there is a lot more credibility
for men in the world and that they immediately get noticed when
they walk into a room. When a woman walks into a room,
however, both sexes examine her to see if she is attractive, but
she loses even this recognition as she ages. Torr offers workshops
for others interested in being drag kings and teaches that men
walk differently, as if they own the floor, and have a very powerful
and solid stance. Women gaze at the world as if they are open and
ready to connect and communicate while men are more guarded
and controlled, as if they expect the world to come to them. She
insists that women stop smiling and stop apologizing.
Another one of the kings spotlighted, explains that female
sexuality is strongly linked to hair. She chooses to shave her head
and finds being bald very liberating. Though she finds men more
W
LOUDmouth
19
sexually attractive, she encounters that most men do not want
women to look like men because it can challenge their own
sexuality if they are attracted to a butch woman. She feels
empowered from doing drag for so many reasons. She especially
likes putting on the suit jacket.
Mo Fischer, well-known as her drag king persona Mo B.
Dick, explains the development of her chauvinistic character. She
says, “Instead of being an angry woman, I became a funny man.”
It is more acceptable to express anger as a man. When a woman
does it, she is labeled a bitch. Her stage persona allows her to
make a statement about male sexism by playing the part.
The film also portrays the lives of biological women who are
taking testosterone injections. Del LaGrace Volcano explains that
we come into gender roles that have already been constructed
instead of reinventing gender one person at a time. Taking the
testosterone injections has actually made Volcano feel less
aggressive. By being perceived as a man he finds that there is no
longer a need to be aggressive to get what he really wants. He
and his friends see the need for a new language and new
identities beyond man or woman, exploring terms like
intergendered and cyborg. Another character believes “bisexual”
is a misnomer, preferring pan-sexual, because it looks past the
notion that there are only two genders.
Venus Boyz definitely challenged my ideas of gender. I
think being a woman means there are unfair expectations and
limitations placed on you. I believe in order to redistribute the
power balance, it is necessary for women to revolt against the rigid
traditional female role. It is refreshing to see the individuals in
Venus Boyz doing just that. This gender revolution does not mean
we must act or dress like men to gain power. We just have to find
our individual voices that allow us to command respect in our own
ways.
So, what does make a woman? Many of us were taught as
children that it means sugar and spice and everything nice. And,
what exactly makes a man? Snakes and snails and puppy dog
tails? It is this thinking that confines us to roles. The transgender
women and drag kings in Venus Boyz prove that it can be and is
so much more than that, suggesting that it can mean whatever we
want and need it to.
For more on the film check out: www.venusboyz.com.
Amanda is a graduate student in the criminalistics department and is happy to have found her
voice. Contact her at [email protected].
BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM:
Girls Can Bend It Too
By Crystal Suen
eing No. 1 in the British box office, Bend It Like Beckham has
been receiving acclaim from around the globe. Directed by
Gurinder Chadha (What’s Cooking, Bhaji on the Beach), this
comical yet heart-warming movie stars Parminder Negra as Jess, an
Indian girl living in London whose only dream is to play soccer
professionally, or football, as it is known in the rest of the world. With
David Beckham – the Michael Jordan of soccer – on her bedroom
walls, we see Jess work through her complicated and busy teenage
life in a world mixed with modernity and tradition.
Aside from looking at immigrant parents in conflict with
assimilated children, this film also deals with provocative themes such
as girls stepping into womanhood, breaking boundaries and achieving
one’s dreams. Jess is a “tomboy” who cannot resist joining in games
at the park, and Jess’ best friend Jules (Keira Knightley) also faces
the difficulties of being a young woman and participating in a man’s
sport at the same time.
B
When a string of misunderstandings make Jess’
parents ban her from playing soccer, she is nothing short of
resourceful, challenging the limits of the prohibition that Indian
girls aren't supposed to play football. And, of course, there is
that handsome coach cheering Jess on from the sidelines.
Director Chadha, collaborating with co-screenwriters
Guljit Bindra and Paul Mayeda Berges, put much of her own
experience into the film. Though not a soccer player, Chadha
grew up in London's Southall neighborhood in a Sikh Punjabi
family. Hence, she had much to draw from in order to paint the
life of a young woman who is equally comfortable with
traditional Indian greetings and the latest British slang and
clothing styles.
What’s best about the film is that it does not make fun
of Jess’ parents or their cultural practices. Rather, the elders
are respected for their misplaced concerns for their daughter
and their firm beliefs. This positive and energetic movie
gratifies the heart and is a great show for anyone at any age.
The soundtrack is a must-hear as well.
Check out the film in your local indy theater. On-line at:
www2.foxsearchlight.com/benditlikebeckham.
Crystal kick boxes naked, but not on the big screen. Kick her some thoughts at
[email protected].
Bend It Like Beckham, Directed by Gurinder Chadha, 2003
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS
LOUDmouth is now accepting articles, essays and poetry,
as well as photography, illustrations and art for the
FALL ISSUE ON MONEY.
Possible topics include:
Cutbacks; Class; Alternative economic models;
Investing; Entrepreneurship; Debt.
Deadline: September 1st
[email protected] (323) 343 - 3370
LOUDmouth
20
Beyond the
BILLBOARD SIMPLICITY
of This World
a
p e r s o n a l
e s s a y
d i s g u i s e d
a s
a
l o v e
l e t t e r
By Emma Rosenthal
Dear Gabriel,
You do not need to be afraid of hurting
my feelings with the truth. If you are honest
with me I will take responsibility for my
feelings. I take my risks and I alone am
responsible for the consequences of my
choices. On the other hand, you might want to
sort out your feelings before sharing them with
me. It is not a betrayal of our intimacy for you
to find a few close friends, with relationship
wisdom, to share your fears and thoughts,
that chatter that goes through our heads as
we make decisions, especially ones that
signify a change in old patterns.
Strangely, it wasn’t hard for me to listen
to you the other night, while we were making
love, of your description of your ex-wife in
bed. Perhaps it would have been for most
women, but that is a transition I have the
strength and wisdom to walk through with you.
Your apprehensions today were very
hard to hear. I do not need a man for money,
security, children or status. I need a man to
empower and to be empowered by, who sees
my strength as beauty, who would not like me
more if I were less a person. You do not need
to feel inferior by my strengths. They aren’t
mine, just gifts I bring to the collective effort for
the world we both envision.
I love this world so deeply. It is my
waking breath. I bring my strengths and
weaknesses to that struggle. My strengths
empower me, those I love, those around me.
My weaknesses challenge me.
I act anyway.
Afraid, I act anyway.
Overwhelmed, I act anyway.
Weak, I act anyway.
We are so broken by the billboard
simplicity of this world. I am not as self-assured
as I seem. I am very frightened, determined to
take action beyond my ability, because I have
been called to do so, because it is work that
must be done. Sometimes I feel so small, so
insignificant, incapable of the task before me.
This courage takes every fiber of my being.
I have been alone for years, having to
be strong. I had no choice. Some days I could
not get out of bed, but I had work to do, a child
to raise, dishes to clean, dinner to cook, and
no one to rescue me. This world demands so
much of women, then the men tell us, “Do not
let us know the work you do. It will frighten us.”
LOUDmouth
21
Revolutionary men cannot be true
advocates of social transformation if they
want their comrades strong but their partners
weak. I am tired of brilliant men and dedicated
organizers who reject for their partners the
qualities they claim to be fostering with the
people they are organizing. If strength is not
beauty, then women must make the horrid
choice between being beautiful and being
transformational. This does not empower
change. This does not build a movement. I
cannot be strong on the picket line, in the
workplace, in meetings and speak my mind,
only to lose my voice in bed.
It takes courage to be strong, to bring
to this world the energy necessary to
transform it, when so often men, in so many
ways remind me that it is my ability to
transform the world that is the essence of
what they find ugly about me. This patriarchal
construct of femininity, of feminine energy,
defies the real energy of creation; muscle,
blood and sinew, and it is ours, it is the
strength that women must have to bring life
into this world, to nurture life despite genocide
and torture. We must be the combatants and
the peacemakers. We must make the hard
decisions, the decision to protect the men
from the bravado you are raised to have, and
the bravado we are spared.
I don’t know where you and I go from
here. First I was sad, then angry, then
disappointed, then lost. I imagine that you are
perhaps going through much the same
process. I want a man that considers a
demonstration or a vigil a date; deep political
discourse, foreplay. I want a man who knows
how special it is to have found a woman who
would write this letter, a man that is not
frightened by my intelligence, but rather wants
to empower it, nurture it, indulge it, bathe in it,
dance naked with it. If you are not that man, I
have no place being your partner.
On the other hand, I will never ask you
to spend time with me at the expense of the
work we both know needs to be done in this
world. It must be our time together that
informs, empowers the work we do. I would
never want you to be less of a man to take
care of what I need to tend to myself. I would
never want you to give up your calling, to
reassure me of my place in your life. I have a
place in the world all my own. The attention
you give me won’t ever define my existence. I
will never need to demand that from you, and
in doing so, diminish your existence as well.
I am supposed to demand that the
measure of your manhood is the money you
make, the prestige you have, your ability to
protect me from a world that I need to
confront, not avoid. You are supposed to
demand that the ideas I have are petty
indulgences or unfeminine distractions that I
must play small in your presence, passive in
the choices that are made in my life. We have
been taught to disempower each other, no
small issue that this emerges out of the most
intimate of interactions. It is where we can be
the most human, or where we can embody the
paradigm of power and control that this
oppressive construct depends upon.
It will take time to learn each other’s
bodies, and trust each other’s tenderness.
Physical intimacies are always awkward at
first. I cannot be the woman you were married
to for twenty-five years; you will not find her in
my bed. I cannot fit into patterns you honed
years ago with someone else even if I knew
what was expected of me. You must always
remember, those are my breasts you are
holding, my lips you are kissing, my body you
are entering. Sex is a conversation. I cannot
recite the script you wrote with someone else.
When you know me, my body, sense my
sensations, we will dance a passionate dance
and you can take the lead in naked, intimate
embraces. To come home to tender surrender,
to a space where being a woman can mean
not making all the decisions, not having to
take on tasks beyond my own ability would be
a healing, comforting, easy relief. Such is the
contradiction. I can give myself up in embraces
with you, so gracious is your invitation, and
emerge a stronger woman in the world for the
quiet language we create, just us, our bodies,
the night, together.
Yours?
Emma
This piece is part of a series of letters called Kissing Exquisite
Frogs. Names and details have been changed to protect the
guilty. Emma is still kissing frogs, in search of her working class
hero. She is not looking for a handsome prince. Send her a kiss
at [email protected].
POETS
Speak
Orange Blossoms
by Deborah Edler Brown, 41
[email protected]
Orange blossoms
of old Southern romance tumble
onto my table each time
a new beau stumbles into
my imagination.
Wanting my curls
to be blonde,
my way to be coy
my name to be Scarlet.
But I am an Amazon:
tall, dark, lean and forthright. I
don't/won't/can't
dimple
bat my lashes
reel a man around my finger.
I tickle, taunt and scold,
am a twelve-year-old
brat and know foreplay
is a good tussle and a toss
in the pool.
I have thumb-wrestled in
the afterglow of love
and caressed my partner
with the cool underside
of a glass
of ice water.
Still, in the late hours of the night,
when the candles of the party
have burned to the wick,
when the woman with thick
blonde hair has every man's
eyes upon her
I want
orange blossoms.
Broken Haiku 3
by Stephanie Abraham, 27
[email protected]
I can still feel you
lying beside me although
you’re no longer here
You finally said,
“I love you,” but by then what
it meant was goodbye
Image by Gregory A-K Hom
And now my puzzle’s
incomplete; my body aches
you’re my missing peace
Self
by Melissa Zamora, 25
[email protected]
I think you know of wicked ways,
Had days of regrets,
And hours too short to remember,
Or should I say too long to forget?
And yet,
I find you extraordinary,
Totally surpassing the ordinary,
Simplicity and complexity combined,
Combined in a beautiful state of mind,
Right and left brain intertwined,
Sublime in their confusion,
Light illuminating illusion,
A lovely little pill to say the least,
But will you choose to dwell on days,
Since changed,
That melancholy phase,
Stained on your pretty little brain,
It wasn't ever you,
A total case of misconstrue,
I know you even more than few,
You're a miracle.
You're amazing.
A grain of sand,
A blazing beam,
Rarely ever what eyes make mind seem,
Surviving in a conscious dream,
Behold...
The soul’s protrusion!
WEDDING SONNET
by Barbara Jane Reyes, 32
[email protected]
If you can afford a Filipina,
Then please follow me to the smoking room.
Light up a Cohiba, flip these pages;
Let’s see which one catches your eye. This one?
Humble, young, educated. Virgin too.
Don’t purchase one that has been to Japan;
Chances are, she’s been laid by Yakuza.
But these province girls know how to treat you,
Clean your house, cook your breakfast, suck you off,
Then go to work, send their money back home.
Hide their green card somewhere they can’t find it,
Justice of the Peace will marry you cheap.
But you must call now or order on-line.
American Express? Visa’s just fine.
WEDDING SONNET 2
For my American Benefactor:
I, your pretty little Filipina girl,
Do solemnly swear, to spit in your face
Whenever your dirty mouth spews promises
Of a better life in your damn country.
I will not obey you and honor you,
Nor will I dedicate my life to you.
I will not thank God for you. Why should I?
Here’s my vow: So long as we both shall live,
I will not please you, nor tend to your needs.
I will not love you, nor bend to your will.
I will not want you, and if you come close,
I will bite your tongue, clear out of your skull.
I will stab you in the back, with a smile.
LOUDmouth
22
What I love about
[living in] my body…
The fact that it was once in a sacred
womb.
Lots of insulation.
Peter, 21
Elias, 20+
It’s part of my identity, the connection
between my soul and the world.
Joaquin, 27
Loving it with its flaws.
Laura, 23
It’s an endless source of pleasure and an
infallible warning system for my feelings.
Anonymous, 42
That I have a true opportunity to make a
difference in this, our world. Today.
Luís, 34
I like the freedom that I feel after
meditation.
Karla, 25
Being inside a woman.
Adam, 26
The sensations and feelings produced
within that ultimately exude out.
Lela, 27
Really, I’m not sure how to answer
because at this tender age I’m just really
getting acquainted with my body.
Being able to squeeze into tiny
places, like wiggling up to the front of
a concert. Also, having enough body
hair to weather arctic conditions, like
the caribou.
Ahmar, 21
Multiple Orgasms.
Cynthia, 27
It’s the one thing in this world that I
know is mine.
Larry, 28
I enjoy the things I can do in it – like
dancing. Also, it fits me well.
Christine, 24
I enjoy living in this young body for its
vitality, its strength, its adaptivity, and
its connectedness to Nature.
Niko, 23
I think its landlord is cute.
Angela, 26
I have a kind heart.
Cesar, 20
Sheila, 46
SPEAK UP
THE WORLD IS LISTENING
[email protected]