JOIN US OCTOBER 7th AT OUTFEST Women of Color BBQ by

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Educate, Support, Advocate
JULY—SEPTEMBER 2012
Philadelphia & South Jersey
www.pflagphila.org
PFLAG MEETINGS
PFLAG Philadelphia meets on the third Sunday
of each month from 2:00 to 5:00 p.m. Board
meetings are held before the general meeting
at 12:30 all months except June, July and
August. All members are welcome at Board
Meetings and are invited to provide input and
opinions. Voting is limited to Board Members
only. Formal Program begins at 2:30pm.
Support and Discussion Groups begin at
3:30pm.
email: [email protected]
PFLAG Philadelphia is grateful to
United Way Contributors
If you are making a donation to United Way please consider directing your donation to PFLAG.
Code # Agency
48679PFLAG Parents Families and Friends of
Lesbians and Gays—Philadelphia Chapter
P.O. Box 15711
Philadelphia, PA 19103
Please make sure you use the name and address as shown
above.
Thank you for thinking of PFLAG Philadelphia!
Women of Color BBQ by Gene Lieberman
LGBT Center at the University of Pennsylvania
3907 Spruce Street, Philadelphia, PA
from 2:00-5:00 PM
(Summer 2:00—4:00 PM)
All meetings are strictly confidential.
Please join us.
Call (215) 572-1833 for more information
PLEASE HELP – in our attempt to keep this
newsletter both timely and viable we are soliciting stories, news releases and any other content that would be of interest and help to our
members. Please feel free to make submissions
to [email protected].
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in April, John Otto and
I manned a PFLAG table at the Second Annual Lesbians
of Color BBQ on Lemon Hill in Fairmont Park. The
day got off to a slow start, but as the air warmed and the
activities got underway, a number of people came to our
table. Brochures were distributed, names collected, conversation flowed. All in all it was a worthwhile event
for us to attend on behalf of PFLAG Philadelphia.
JOIN US
OCTOBER 7th
AT
OUTFEST
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From the President by Myra Taksa
Marching in this year's Pride Parade was especially rewarding. Marching with us were employees from
Johnson & Johnson and Walgreens as part of the Care with Pride Safe Schools campaign. The two companies have joined with PFLAG in efforts to make schools safer for all of our children. They were strong in
number and enthusiasm. They handed out J&J and Walgreens coupon booklets along the parade route. For
every coupon redeemed, the companies will donate $1.00 to PFLAG National! A modest portion of this
money will be shared with PFLAG chapters across the country, including ours, to aid in our mission of advocacy, education and support. You can read more about the Care with Pride campaign at:
http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2
You can watch a YouTube video of the parade here. Our PFLAG contingent begins at 2:16:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT8oW3fnhQ0&feature=related
You can get the coupons here:
http://www.walgreens.com/topic/promotion/wpride.jsp
Remember the more coupons redeemed, the more the companies will donate to PFLAG - up to
$300,000.00! Share this link with your family and friends!
Myra
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U.S. Department of State Foreign Press Center
“A Developing Narrative:
LGBT Issues in the United States
A Global Reporting Tour - June 3 – 10, 2012
Program Sponsor: U. S. Department of State’s Washington Foreign Press Center
Accompanied by: Ariel Howard & Dick Custin
By Fran Kirschner, PFLAG Board Member
The U.S. Department of State Washington Foreign Press Center sponsored a Global Reporting Tour titled
“A Developing Narrative: LGBT Issues in the United States” from June 3 – 10, 2012. It was a three-city tour
beginning in D.C. and ending in NYC with a stop in Philadelphia on June 7th.
The tour was designed for foreign journalists by the US Department of State as a result of Secretary Hillary
Clinton’s policy to protect the rights of LGBT people around the world. Many of the journalists participating came
from countries where homosexuality is stigmatized and, in some cases, punishable by imprisonment or death. The
purpose of this weeklong tour was to show the participants how the US LGBT community is progressing towards
full and equal rights.
PFLAG Philadelphia was honored to be invited to meet with the 19 foreign journalists from 19 different
countries on June 7th. At a breakfast meeting, Myra Taksa, Melina Waldo, Fran Kirschner and John Otto represented our Chapter. Myra gave a brief introduction about PFLAG’s history and its mission. Then Melina and John
told their stories in brief, so that all four of us could then move from table to table meeting the journalists three at a
time. This gave us the opportunity to tell our stories in a more personal way and answer individual questions.
The whole experience was one I will never forget. It is one I could never have imagined taking part in so
many years ago when I first became a PFLAG member. Although time did not allow the opportunity to meet everyone, I did learn that many of the journalists already write about LGBT issues in their own countries; some are
activists and some are gay themselves. What inspired me the most was their willingness to learn more about our
country’s progress around LGBT issues, their eagerness to hear our individual journey as parents and PFLAG’s
roll in our acceptance of our LGBT children.
In all of my years with PFLAG this had to be, by far, the most rewarding of experiences.
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-Speaker’s
Bureau- Villanova Revisited By Barbara Klinman
Barbara Klinman, PFLAG Phila. Board Member, Dr. Krista
Malott, Associate Professor Villanova University, Melina Waldo,
PFLAG Phila. Board Member, Chairperson, Speakers Bureau.
Our speaking engagements at Villanova University, for the classes of Professor Krista Malott in the
Department of Education and Human Services have always been interesting and fun, and we look forward
to telling the students about PFLAG and conveying our personal stories.
On April 18th I had the pleasure the sharing the class with Melina Waldo – who I always learn from, and
enjoy listening to. It made for a very enjoyable late afternoon visit to Villanova.
It was a fairly large class, and they were attentive and inquisitive. Dr. Malott always leaves time for questions at the end of our talks. I have found when I present with other PFLAG parents that I learn something new every time, even though I think I know about their experiences completely. Dr. Malott always
follows each engagement with a thank you note or letter, and in the last one she wrote that our visits to
her classes are “a true gift for my students, and you are changing hearts and minds!” She goes on to say,
“People (including myself) can only care about an issue when we see the real human impact it has on others, and you bring that with your visits!” What a lovely thing to write!
I hope our messages about speaking to groups of adults, young adults, and school children will encourage
those of you who say “I could never do that” to reconsider, as I did. This has become a very special thing
for me to do personally. I have certainly grown from the experience, and I know that my ‘talk’ and message is important, and is heard and regarded by the audience. Advocacy is very rewarding.
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PFLAG PHILADELPHIA AT THE 11TH ANNUAL PHILADELPHIA
TRANS-HEALTH CONFERENCE By Pat Tedora
Every year PFLAG Philadelphia has a table at the Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference and this year
was no exception. The 11th Annual Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference sponsored by the Mazzoni
Center was held at the Philadelphia Convention Center on May 31st, June 1st and June 2nd, 2012.
PFLAG Philadelphia was proud to be present all 3 days of the conference. For those of you who don’t
know about this conference it is an exciting event for the Transgender/Gender Queer Community. It is
a place where people can be who they are and meet people just like themselves in a safe environment.
This venue attracts thousands of people each year who come for the support and education that this
event provides. It is 3 full days of workshops, educational forums and social activities for Transgender/
Gender Queer individuals of all ages, as well as their parents, spouses, family members and friends.
We had so many people stop at our table, some just to say hello others to ask questions about PFLAG.
Although most of the people who stopped at our table wanted information for their parents, we saw a
good number of parents wanting information about how to support their child as the child transitions.
All of the parents wanted to talk to another parent and be reassured that they were not alone. We were
present as people willing to take the time to listen to their fears without judging them. PFLAG Philadelphia had a number of good booklets available on helping a parent understand their child as he or
she transitions and a very good booklet for the transgender individual entitled “Read This before Coming Out Transgender to Your Parents”. At the beginning of the conference we had hundreds of booklets
and pamphlets to give to people; by the end of the conference our stock of literature was depleted.
The most amazing part of the conference is the children, some of whom have never met kids just like
themselves. I have been attending the conference for the past 10 years and have met a lot of these children and love seeing how they blossom and grow. I also feel older when a teenager or young adult who
has been coming to the conference with their parents for years comes up to the table to say hello to me.
I also feel humble when adult transgender people come up to me and thank me for being there as a parent and ally.
PFLAG Philadelphia was also a co-sponsor, along with TransKids Purple Rainbow Foundation, for the
annual TKF Meet and Greet and Kids Pool Party for the parents and children of TransKids Family of
Cleveland, a list serve/online support group for parents of transgender individuals. I had the honor of
organizing this event and it was a huge success. This yearly event is a chance for the members of the
list serve to actually meet and socialize with other members from all over the USA and Canada. It also
allows the transgender child an opportunity to go swimming in the bathing attire of their choice in a
safe environment. There were about 100 adults in attendance and 45 children and when I mentioned
that PFLAG Philadelphia was a co-sponsor and thanked them for their generous gift we got a standing
ovation. We had pizza, Philly soft pretzels, potato chips and soda and the kids’ favorite - lollipop cupcakes for dessert. There were games for the kids and each child received a prize. By the end of the evening we were all tired but also very happy for the time we got to share with each other thanks to PFLAG
Philadelphia.
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Taking PFLAG to the Neighborhood By Barbara Klinman, PFLAG Mom
I wanted to write about the experience that my husband Mike and I had on Sunday, June 3rd. We set up a
table for PFLAG Philadelphia amongst the many vendors, historical groups and non-profits at the Haverford Township Historical Society’s sixth annual Heritage Festival along Karakung Drive. We have
manned tables for PFLAG at other events, but they were all part of large ‘gay friendly’ venues – in Philadelphia. I had decided to take PFLAG to the neighborhood where I live, to show a presence and to try to
gauge the response. I was fairly nervous, not knowing what the climate is in my own neighborhood.
I was so pleasantly surprised I was in shock. So many people stopped by our table, read my information
board, and perused the brochures, thanking us for being there, smiling warmly and sincerely; many gay
couples among them, to my surprise and delight!
Passersby read it all. One man worried me, as I was at the table alone at the time, and he was fairly large
and gruff looking. If was difficult to read his face. He stood in front of the table for quite a long time, with
his arms crossed in front of his chest, reading everything carefully. Then he looked up at me, and, as I was
expecting to have to defend all gay persons, he looked me right in the eyes and gave me a ‘thumbs up’, and
walked away. Whew! It almost brought me to tears! Another interesting thing that happened was a family (jewelry vendors) a few spots down from us, came up to the table and thanked us profusely for being
present at the event, and for taking the time to represent PFLAG. It turns out their daughter (who was
present) is gay, and they were thrilled when they saw the Rainbow Flag waving from a tree branch. They
said they wanted to come by immediately to say hello. Later in the day the daughter came down to our table with two necklaces (decorated with Pride colors), and told me to keep them, and thanked me again for
being there.
I was so proud to be part of PFLAG, and for having the opportunity to support the rights of my son and
his partner; and for all the sons and daughters we represent with our efforts to improve and change the
climate of discrimination.
I will certainly look for more venues in the future, closer to home, to talk about PFLAG and rights for all
people. Denied civil rights undermine the strength of our democracy.
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CHICAGO PRIDE by Michael Klinman
My wife and I were fortunate enough to be visiting our son in Chicago during their Pride Week. Chicago
has a Pride Festival from Friday afternoon through Saturday night where they close off 3 blocks in their
gayborhood. There were many venders and support groups represented as well as 3 stages with entertainment. A lively time was had by all. Sunday morning at noon the parade was set to start and we were
invited to march with PFLAG Chicago. Actually, many chapters from Illinois made up the contingency
with each chapter carrying their own banner. We carried a banner claiming Proud Parents, PFLAG Philadelphia that brought many cheers and applause from the crowds. PFLAG was also joined by a large group
from Johnson & Johnson and Walgreens, (as we had been in the Philadelphia Gay Pride Parade). There
were about 250 groups total marching in the parade; many politicians and corporate sponsors, TV personalities, and schools. There were also groups representing many religious denominations and supporting churches and synogogues in the area, including a group of Mormons proclaiming their support. The
crowds were 5 to 10 rows deep along the entire parade route and the cheers were thunderous when
PFLAG walked by. Many. many thank-you sentiments and kisses were offered. Although the Parade was
several miles long, and the weather was hot, the energy from the crowds was fantastic.
Michael & Barbara Klinman
PFLAG Philadelphia parents,
marching in the Chicago Gay Pride Parade
Sunday, June 24, 2012
850,000 spectators
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STRAIGHT ALLIES by Pat Tedora
You never know when you are going to run into a straight ally. While at work I had to order a new supply of checks
from Deluxe Business Forms. I called and spoke to a very nice woman named Shelly from Minneapolis Minnesota and
as I was trying to place my order her computer froze up. While waiting for the computer to be available again we
started to chit chat about simple things like the usual; the weather and the economy. I don't know how it happened but
the conversation turned to Marriage Equality and LGBT rights. I told her my son was gay and that I was a PFLAG
Philadelphia Mom. She told me that she knew about PFLAG and congratulated me for being caring about my son and
being an active member of such a great organization. She said that although her children were straight, her daughter
was a spring board diving athlete from the age of 6 and her coach had been a gay man. Shelly said that during the
years her daughter was on the diving team she developed a friendship with this man that has continued still, although
her daughter is 26 and no longer competes. Shelly told me about the times when people would ask her why she would
let a gay man coach her daughter, and she always told them that he was a kind, considerate, caring human being and a
great coach to boot and that they should learn more about Gays and Lesbians before they make any negative comments. She asked me if Philadelphia had a Pride Parade and I told her we do, and that I tried to march each year with
my son. She also asked if Pennsylvania had marriage equality and I said unfortunately no, but we are continuing to try
to have legislation changed. She also told me that her company was LGBT friendly and that LGBT people and their
partners were granted the same benefits as straight married employees. Minneapolis is a LGBT friendly town and
their Mayor is “a gorgeous, openly gay man”. We spoke a bit about the upcoming presidential election and about Mr.
Obama and Mr. Biden saying they supported gay marriage and what possible effect it will have on the election. It was
an amazing business call, I realized and if I had placed the order for the checks online instead of calling I would never
have had the opportunity to speak with this lovely woman, and we would never have had our delightful conversation.
Room now, for tolerance?
Editorial - Source: News of Delaware County May 17, 2012 (Reprinted by permission of author)
So has the nation turned a corner?
President Obama’s announcement that he supports gay marriage would seem to indicate that, even though
nothing has really changed.
It is doubtful the President, described as a practical and cautious man, would have made such a statement if
he didn’t feel confident that the political fallout would be minimal.
That tells us that the level of acceptance for same-sex couples has gone up, possibly because the number of
individuals willing to admit they are gay or lesbian has also gone up. It’s hard to vilify someone’s sexual preference
when that someone is your son, daughter, cousin, mother, father, sister, brother, friend or co-worker.
Hardliners would see such tolerance as giving in to immoral or unnatural behaviors. We see it more as an advancement in mankind’s civility to itself. The gay and lesbian community, like other ostracized groups before them,
have suffered at the hands of the self-righteous, who think they know what’s best. In some cases, their persecution
has led to discrimination, torture and even death.
In our country of laws, everyone should be given the opportunity to live an unmolested life, free from the persecution of others, even when we don’t agree with that person’s lifestyle.
Behaviors that harm others should be punished, but we see nothing wrong when the majority of people, straight and
gay, only want a loving and monogamous relationship with another human being.
President Obama’s recent statement may indicate that that’s how a lot of you feel as well.
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Tell Her Thank You!
Ms. Magazine BLOG Excerpt: 40 years of PFLAG: Thank you Jeanne Manford
The idea for PFLAG emerged from a Pride parade in June 1972 when Jeanne Manford, a New York City
grade school teacher, marched alongside her gay son, Morty, holding a sign with what was then a new message: “Parents of Gays: Unite in Support for our Children.” Manford was surprised by the welcome she received that day:
The people who approached her asked if she could speak with their mothers and fathers, no doubt wishing
their families could be so accepting. Manford has been called the “mother of the straight ally movement,”
and PFLAG, the national organization she helped to found shortly after that emotional march, has become
one of the most important and influential ally groups for gay rights in this country.
Manford’s role as a gay rights leader began one night as she was watching television in her home. On the
news, she saw footage of her activist son being beaten at a protest while police looked on. She took action by
writing a letter that appeared in the New York Post on April 29, 1972, in which she declared, “I have a homosexual son and I love him.” Manford later explained, “I didn’t think anything of it, but I guess it was the
first time a mother ever stood up publicly and said, ‘Yes, I have a homosexual child.’”
A few weeks later, she took up her sign and marched her way into LGBT history.
As Pride month comes to a close—recognized on the national stage for the fourth year in a row by President
Obama — let’s thank the moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, sisters, brothers, children, in-laws and
friends for their love and support.
If you’d like to send a personal thank-you note to 93-year-old Jeanne Manford for being such
a good mother to us all, you may send an e-mail to [email protected]. You may also
send cards to:
Thank you, Jeanne Manford! c/o PFLAG National, 1828 L Street NW, Suite 660, Washington, DC 20036.
Jeanne Manford marching with her son Morty.
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PFLAG PHILADELPHIA 2012 MEETING SCHEDULE
Meetings start at 2:00 PM
January 15
May 20
September 16
February 19
June 17
October 21
March 18
July 15
November 18
April 15
August 19
December 16
LGBT Center at the University of Pennsylvania The Carriage House
3907 Spruce Street, Philadelphia, PA
from 2:00-5:00 PM
(Summer 2:00—4:00 PM)
All meetings are strictly confidential.
Please join us.
Call (215) 572-1833 for more information
2010-2012 PFLAG PHILADELPHIA BOARD MEMBERS
Executive Board
President—Myra Taksa
Vice President—Gene Lieberman
Secretary—Barbara Spencer
Treasurer—John Otto
Board Members and/or Chairs
Judy Cohen, Lou Cohen, Helen Early, Allen Kirschner, Fran Kirschner,
Barbara Klinman, Michael Klinman, Sheila Lieberman, Kim Otto,
Chuck Spencer, Pat Tedora, Melina Waldo
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CONTACT INFORMATION
Myra Taksa,
President
Helen Early, M.D.,
Helpline
215-635-3923
[email protected]
856-751-1466
Vice President
[email protected]
Chuck Spencer,
[email protected]
Programs
215-368-2473
[email protected]
Barbara Klinman
Melina Waldo
Newsletter Editor [email protected]
Pat Tedora,
Membership
Gene Lieberman,
610-284-6215
[email protected]
Speakers Bureau
PFLAG Philadelphia
Help-Line
856-216-8285
John Otto
[email protected]
[email protected]
Treasurer
856-429-7896
[email protected]
215-572-1833
Philly PFLAG Talks,
Internet list-serve
see page 7 for instructions
NOW AVAILABLE AS AN E-BOOK!!!
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