PLAYING WITH FIRE: BIKES FOR AXES

Transcription

PLAYING WITH FIRE: BIKES FOR AXES
PLAYING WITH FIRE: BIKES FOR AXES
Redfield Risks FBA Contract to Play Playoff-Risk Game in UFFL
SIOUX FALLS, SD. ​
- There was something brewing underneath the waters of
both the FBA and the UFFL, two sports organizations that failed to foresee the
events of December 28th.
Dakota Bikers small forward Dylan Redfield trotted out to the middle of the hard
turf of the Fargodome, in full pads and, with a determined composure, racked
up over 100 yards receiving in a playoff contention game against his brother,
Aspen, and the rest of the Baltimore Ponies. The problem was that Dylan was
supposed to be playing basketball - not football. The sports-viewing community
collectively gasped for air - mostly confused, as there was no indication prior to
the game that he was expected to participate. Quite frankly, it looked to many fans as some sort of
publicity stunt. But if so, it was a dangerous one that could have serious legal ramifications.
The initial claims by Redfield himself were part of an obligatory need to find self-worth in his
profession, one that has seen controversy in past years. But he went on to claim that he “knew the risks,”
and that he intended to fulfill his duty as a member of the Axemen, regardless of the penalties that would
await him back home at Sofawolf Stadium. Potential penalties include suspension, expulsion from the FBA
(as well as the UFFL), a hefty fine, or a bit more personal, such as getting seriously injured during a play on
the field. We know this didn’t occur, but Dylan played as a quarterback for Silverthorn College before
having to leave the sport due to injury.
At this time, Dylan is suspended from playing for the Bikers until further orders are handed down
from Stefan Calico and FBA committee members. The Bikers have been forced to play rookie Matthew
Silvius in place of the suspended red deer, which has been met with lukewarm responses, and the
animosity toward their troublesome teammate exhibited an underlying discord between Redfield and the
Bikers organization.
After all is said and done, the question remains: was it worth it? Is it the ​
End of Days​
for Redfield
and his career? Well, the Fargo Axemen made it to the playoffs, but they must fight without him for the
championship. As it stands now, it is up to Dylan Redfield himself to decide.
-W. Walker (FSPN)
THE 2015 FBA DRAFT - 11 thru 24 ​
- (pg. 2)
There were unofficially 68 rookies who submitted their names into the FBA draft in 2015. Who are they?
Originally there were plans to create a rookie guide* for the 2015-16 FBA season, which would provide
every GM with an awesome booklet about the rookies up for the taking in this year’s draft. The ambitious
goal was ​
too ​
ambitious. But anyway, we continue going through the picks of the draft by covering #11
through #24. For a full list of the picks from the 2015 FBA Draft (minus “Pork Sammich”), ​
click this link​
.
11. Derek Kim​
(Kkachi, G) - Drafted by​
Winnipeg Voyageurs
​
Derek was slated to go high in the draft, and in some analyst’s eyes, he was ranked as the top prospect.
Perhaps with some exasperated opinions about Derek’s readiness for the big leagues, a competitive guard
draft, or due to UFLA’s weak college year in 2015, the kkachi fell to #11. Point being, Winnipeg won big with
their first-round pick, as the Korean American is light on his feet and intelligent on the court. He can borrow
some credit for Winnipeg’s hot start thus far.
12. Misha Maxwell​
(Cheetah, G) - Drafted by​
Williamsburg Minutemen
​
Another assumed Top 10 draft pick that fell due to some of the prior team’s needs, Misha Maxwell has an
aura; a winning nature running through her veins. Cheetahs don’t often get looked over in this league, for
several reasons. As it turned out, the Minutemen had different intentions when drafting the feline from Boston;
Maxwell was later traded away to Las Vegas with Damien Nathaniel (hyena) in exchange for Sebastian
Koscuisko (toucan).
13. Margo Bates​
(White Tailed Deer, G) - Drafted by​
Biloxi Voodoo
​
At the time, the Voodoo did not have a good bench unit at the Guard position, so Bates was a prime choice
for the southern team. The cervine was the only pick for Biloxi, so they needed to fulfill that problem with an
independent and hard-driven fur. Bates, who comes from the illustrious Cervine University of Michigan, is
characterized by her dually-colored eyes.
14. Matthew Silvius​
(Long-Tailed Weasel, G/F) - Drafted by​
Dakota Bikers
​
Silvius was a great choice for the Dakota Bikers, who were looking into the future with this pick. Malone’s not
getting any younger, and questions over Catherine DeMille’s position on the team (as well as the intrepid Dat
Mongoste) meant that the Bikers needed another new man who could serve as a #6. Silvius has had his paws
full already, filling in for a suspended Dylan Redfield and an injured Ryan Malone. A lot of work for the young
mustelid in his first year.
15. Brian Montgomery​
(Dragon, C/F) - Drafted by​
Dakota Bikers
​
The Bikers had two picks in a row this draft, and they surprised nearly everyone by picking up Montgomery.
Overshadowed by his off-the-court problems, Dakota may need to work with the young dragon to gain any
value from him in 2016. Montgomery also needs to fight for time with Cassidy Whitelatch and Charles Burgh,
so the pink “sweetie” may need to wait a while before his chance emerges.
16. Randy Mackenbach​
(Wistar Rat, F) - Drafted by​
Bangor Tides
​
Rumors were that Bangor truly upset Vicki Turner and the Seattle unit by drafting Mackenbach, who was a
late item as the Combine came and went. Highly intelligent for a talented sports player, the Tides needed
someone who could be consistent and supportive of Blanc Mange, who remains the star forward. Most
analysts credit Mackenbach as the sole reason that Saola University made it to the 2015 FCAA Tournament.
The inital low rankings were due to their first-round dismissal.
17. Niko McNamara​
(Meerkat, F/G) - Drafted by​
Seattle Summit
​
Seattle settled with McNamara, the “other meerkat” in the draft, who also emerged in 2015 from the lesser
known University of Bardstown. With the forward and center positions locked by the multi-talented Jake
Turner and Daniel Quvianuq, as well as Evan Marshall, Seattle needed someone who could either lead or
share a lead with Jeri Naranjo, or back up the two forwards in case of injury. Seattle will need to invest time in
McNamara, but he is a solid pick.
18. Georges Poulletier​
(Chicken, F) - Drafted by​
Tallahassee Typhoons
​
Poulletier was the first pick in the 2015 draft from a European university, and while none were really looking
his way, Tallahassee snatched him up as a myriad option with Springer and Pullman, who are both still young
and proving whether or not they can stay. Management brought in Rosalie Smoot, who is a bit older and has
been accredited with being a great leader. The traveling Frenchfur will look to prove his worth in the Floridian
city.
19. Vixey Hallsworth​
(Husky, F/G) - Drafted by​
Alaska Arctics
​
Alaska was fighting to keep Alessandro Serra in Alaska, but in the event that the Italian would vacate for a
more familiar climate (and he did), Alaska needed some talent at Guard. Hallsworth didn’t make national
headlines or grab anyone’s Top 10 list, but she did impact the Arctics’ track for maintaining resilience. It is a
crowded place in Alaska, but Head Coach Angus Nelson was rather pleased with the management’s pick.
Another wise investment for the burgeoning unit from the North.
20. Ginovani Bartolini​
(Gorilla, C/F) - Drafted by​
Plymouth Taproots
​
Bartolini’s name unfortunately faded after the rush of centers drafted in picks 6 through 10, but there was
space for a bigfur after Raoul Kidane failed to return to Plymouth. In the “Year of the Primates,” a lot of
attention was given to Mallark, but additionally to Bartolini. Native to the New England area, his affinity for
rebounding gave him a great chance for a Top 24 nod.
21. Connor Caracal​
(Lynx, F/G) - Drafted by​
Williamsburg Minutemen
​
Welcome to sibling rivalry 2015 edition: Connor is the younger sibling of Rocky Caracal, who was affectively
named the 2014 FBA MVP when Edmonton would win the conference championship. It was around that time
that Connor was coming into his own back home in Vancouver. The younger brother, quite opposite in
attitude, did not fare as well in the draft due to the overshadowing, but defensive and mental integrity were
enough to convince Williamsburg he was worth their 2nd 1st round pick.
22. Erik Kijani​
(Leopard, G) - Drafted by​
Pittsburgh Keystones
​
Kijani spent most of his early days in Africa, and so by the time he became Florida Midwest’s star guard in
2015, analysts were definitely acknowledging Kijani’s court skills but were concerned about whether the
leopard could smoothly transition to the FBA, being extremely young (only 20 years). With yellow fur and black
hair, he was ironically signed to the yellow and black (Pittsburgh), who got just what they needed nonetheless.
They could have a potential star on their paws if they can train Kijani to support what’s looking to be a very
strong Keystone team in 2016.
23. Harrison York​
(Martial Eagle, F/C) - Drafted by​
Huntsville Mayors
​
York was the first player to draft from outside the Top 24 rankings submitted - a rather astonishing mark for a
league that usually finds one way or another to surprise the analysts over here at FSPN. Harrison was a good
selection for the Huntsville Mayors, but we were skeptical about the eagle’s abilities, given he had
transitioned multiple times before landing as their bigfur option at CSU Palmcaster.
24. Yesina Selas​
(Ruffed Red Lemur, G/F) - Drafted by​
Santa Ana Spectrums
​
Selas became the final pick in the Top 24 of 2015, a rough-handed lemur from California who likely grabbed
the attention of the local Spectrums agents even prior to their championship. We were nodding our heads in
agreement when the word came down; Selas’ accomplishes multiple goals for the yellow and blue; the media
grabbed onto the “female” aspect of the choice, but in reality, she has an effective set of moves and is one of
the more accurate swingfurs in the 2015 draft.
So there you have it - the Top 24 of the 2015 draft! We were impressed, from day one, by the wide
spectrum of species and personalities created and developed by the league. Looking down at the
following page for standings and scores, there has already been some influence by this group of players in
how the teams rank. Of course, it may be a few years before the results from this draft bring consistent
results - this is how it always works, even in the NBA. Nevertheless, there was some great art developed
for these characters, and their stories are being played out as we speak. Thank you to everyone who
worked so hard to make this draft a success!
STANDINGS & SCORES ​
- (pg. 4)
As of January 14,
it seems that the
tides of battle have
changed for the
Western
Conference, while
the Eastern
Conference has
been pretty
steady. The Hawaii
Kahunas have
slipped down to
second place
while the Santa
Ana Spectrums
take the number
one spot in the Western. We’re about a quarter into the season, so a lot of surprises can happen!
December 19th, 2015
December 20th, 2015
116 Baltimore Spirits ​
@ Winnipeg Voyageurs 108
114 Pittsburgh Keystones @ ​
Arizona Whips 117
96 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Hawaii Kahunas 104
103 Tennessee Moonshiners @ ​
San Jose Thrust 110
112 Williamsburg Minutemen ​
@ Alaska Arctics 106
103 Albany Alphas ​
@ Las Vegas Wildcards 94
104 Bangor Tides @ ​
Winnipeg Voyageurs 112
85 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Tallahassee Typhoons 105
84 Huntsville Mayors @ ​
Montana Howlers 92
107 Lorain Firestorm ​
@ Texas Lone Stars 86
100 Santa Ana Spectrums @ ​
Biloxi Voodoo 101
December 21st, 2015
December 22nd, 2015
115 Baltimore Spirits @ ​
Hawaii Kahunas 118
108 Pittsburgh Keystones @ ​
Montana Howlers 111
99 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Alaska Arctics 109
95 Seattle Summit @ ​
Queens Pride 96
98 Tennessee Moonshiners ​
@ Texas Lone Stars 86
115 Albany Alphas ​
@ Winnipeg Voyageurs 107
99 Arizona Whips @ ​
Huntsville Mayors 109
101 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Biloxi Voodoo 109
114 Lorain Firestorm ​
@ Las Vegas Wildcards 98
107 San Jose Thrust ​
@ Bangor Tides 105
94 Tallahassee Typhoons @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 107
December 23rd, 2015
December 26th, 2015
93 Alaska Arctics @ ​
Biloxi Voodoo 99
92 Arizona Whips @ ​
Tennessee Moonshiners 96
90 Dakota Bikers @ ​
Queens Pride 96
81 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Montana Howlers 94
101 Seattle Summit @ ​
Baltimore Spirits 111
88 Texas Lone Stars @ ​
Williamsburg Minutemen 100
106 Dakota Bikers @ ​
Winnipeg Voyageurs 107
87 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Montana Howlers 97
90 Las Vegas Wildcards @ ​
Seattle Summit 104
110 Santa Ana Spectrums ​
@ Hawaii Kahunas 106
119 San Jose Thrust ​
@ Alaska Arctics 117
98 Texas Lone Stars @ ​
Arizona Whips 104
December 27th, 2015
December 28th, 2015
100 Albany Alphas ​
@ Plymouth Taproots 94
107 Baltimore Spirits @ ​
Williamsburg Minutemen 110
108 Biloxi Voodoo @ ​
Huntsville Mayors 109
106 Pittsburgh Keystones ​
@ Lorain Firestorm 102
102 Queens Pride @ ​
Bangor Tides 103
99 Tallahassee Typhoons @ ​
Tennessee Moonshiners 104
104 Arizona Whips @ ​
Dakota Bikers 108
98 Las Vegas Wildcards @ ​
Montana Howlers 107
107 Santa Ana Spectrums ​
@ Alaska Arctics 102
107 Seattle Summit ​
@ Edmonton Totems 92
105 San Jose Thrust @ ​
Hawaii Kahunas 115
105 Winnipeg Voyageurs @ ​
Texas Lone Stars 107
December 29th, 2015
December 30th, 2015
103 Baltimore Spirits @ ​
Lorain Firestorm 113
98 Bangor Tides @ ​
Plymouth Taproots 103
99 Biloxi Voodoo ​
@ Tennessee Moonshiners 96
108 Queens Pride ​
@ Albany Alphas 107
98 Tallahassee Typhoons @ ​
Huntsville Mayors 102
106 Williamsburg Minutemen @ ​
Pittsburgh Keystones 111
106 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Las Vegas Wildcards 111
105 Hawaii Kahunas ​
@ Alaska Arctics 103
98 Montana Howlers @ ​
San Jose Thrust 101
108 Santa Ana Spectrums ​
@ Dakota Bikers 106
102 Seattle Summit @ ​
Texas Lone Stars 109
107 Winnipeg Voyageurs ​
@ Arizona Whips 106
December 31st, 2015
100 Albany Alphas @ ​
Bangor Tides 110
95 Baltimore Spirits @ ​
Pittsburgh Keystones 99
106 Biloxi Voodoo @ ​
Tallahassee Typhoons 108
90 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Queens Pride 103
108 Tennessee Moonshiners @ ​
Huntsville Mayors 112
93 Williamsburg Minutemen @ ​
Lorain Firestorm 102
January 1st, 2016
97 Dakota Bikers @ ​
Edmonton Totems 104
107 Las Vegas Wildcards ​
@ Texas Lone Stars 98
101 Montana Howlers @ ​
Hawaii Kahunas 110
100 Santa Ana Spectrums @ ​
Arizona Whips 108
100 San Jose Thrust @ ​
Seattle Summit 105
109 Winnipeg Voyageurs ​
@ Alaska Arctics 107
January 2nd, 2016
99 Baltimore Spirits​
@ Queens Pride 90
108 Bangor Tides @ ​
Biloxi Voodoo 109
111 Huntsville Mayors​
@ Williamsburg Minutemen 107
104 Pittsburgh Keystones @ ​
Albany Alphas 108
98 Tallahassee Typhoons @ ​
Plymouth Taproots 102
100 Tennessee Moonshiners @ ​
Lorain Firestorm 110
January 3rd, 2016
105 Las Vegas Wildcards​
@ Arizona Whips 98
103 Montana Howlers @ ​
Alaska Arctics 106
104 Seattle Summit​
@ Dakota Bikers 98
99 San Jose Thrust @ ​
Edmonton Totems 106
84 Texas Lone Stars @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 104
119 Winnipeg Voyageurs @ ​
Hawaii Kahunas 120
January 4th, 2016
102 Huntsville Mayors @ ​
Albany Alphas 105
101 Lorain Firestorm @ ​
Bangor Tides 107
105 Pittsburgh Keystones​
@ Plymouth Taproots 104
94 Queens Pride ​
@ Biloxi Voodoo 88
107 Tennessee Moonshiners @ ​
Baltimore Spirits 99
108 Williamsburg Minutemen​
@ Tallahassee Typhoons 103
January 5th, 2016
93 Dakota Bikers @ ​
Hawaii Kahunas 100
104 Alaska Arctics @ ​
Edmonton Totems 108
96 Las Vegas Wildcards @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 101
94 Seattle Summit @ ​
Arizona Whips 97
112 San Jose Thrust​
@ Winnipeg Voyageurs 109
105 Texas Lone Stars @ ​
Montana Howlers 108
January 6th, 2016
104 Bangor Tides @ ​
Pittsburgh Keystones 114
105 Biloxi Voodoo @ ​
Plymouth Taproots 106
102 Lorain Firestorm @ ​
Huntsville Mayors 107
110 Tallahassee Typhoons​
@ Baltimore Spirits 102
95 Tennessee Moonshiners @ ​
Albany Alphas 106
106 Williamsburg Minutemen @ ​
Queens Pride 108
January 7th, 2016
88 Dakota Bikers @ ​
San Jose Thrust 98
106 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 111
110 Hawaii Kahunas @ ​
Texas Lone Stars 113 (OT)
101 Las Vegas Wildcards @ ​
Alaska Arctics 102
107 Montana Howlers @ ​
Arizona Whips 108
100 Seattle Summit @ ​
Winnipeg Voyageurs 104
January 8th, 2016
102 Albany Alphas ​
@ Baltimore Spirits 87
105 Bangor Tides @ ​
Tallahassee Typhoons 106
100 Biloxi Voodoo @ ​
Williamsburg Minutemen 109
104 Pittsburgh Keystones ​
@ Tennessee Moonshiners 92
93 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Lorain Firestorm 102
96 Queens Pride @ ​
Huntsville Mayors 97
January 9th, 2016
100 Alaska Arctics @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 103
91 Arizona Whips @ ​
Texas Lone Stars 98
101 Hawaii Kahunas @ ​
San Jose Thrust 104
109 Montana Howlers ​
@ Edmonton Totems 102
106 Seattle Summit ​
@ Las Vegas Wildcards 96
107 Winnipeg Voyageurs ​
@ Dakota Bikers 101
January 10th, 2016
101 Albany Alphas @ ​
Queens Pride 108
87 Pittsburgh Keystones @ ​
Pittsburgh Keystones 108
95 Huntsville Mayors @ ​
Biloxi Voodoo 105
92 Lorain Firestorm @ ​
Williamsburg Minutemen 101
98 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Bangor Tides 104
100 Tennessee Moonshiners ​
@ Tallahassee Typhoons 93
January 11th, 2016
104 Dakota Bikers ​
@ Arizona Whips 95
96 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Seattle Summit 102
105 Hawaii Kahunas @ ​
Alaska Arctics 107
101 Montana Howlers @ ​
Las Vegas Wildcards 102
103 San Jose Thrust @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 108
103 Texas Lone Stars @ ​
Winnipeg Voyageurs 105
January 12th, 2016
103 Bangor Tides @ ​
Queens Pride 109
95 Huntsville Mayors @ ​
Tennessee Moonshiners 98
99 Lorain Firestorm @ ​
Pittsburgh Keystones 110
96 Plymouth Taproots @ ​
Albany Alphas 106
98 Tallahassee Typhoons @ ​
Biloxi Voodoo 104
108 Williamsburg Minutemen ​
@ Baltimore Spirits 96
January 13th, 2016
96 Arizona Whips @ ​
Winnipeg Voyageurs 108
93 Edmonton Totems @ ​
Las Vegas Wildcards 98
100 Hawaii Kahunas @ ​
Santa Ana Spectrums 107
105 Seattle Summit @ ​
Montana Howlers 106
103 San Jose Thrust @ ​
Alaska Arctics 109
105 Texas Lone Stars ​
@ Dakota Bikers 94
TRANSACTIONS ​
- (pg. 5)
All good things have to come to an end, and players come and go - but luckily for you, your favorite team
may have just gotten even better! Here are some ‘good to know’ trades, signings, and retirements that
have occurred since our last newsletter.
In an interesting move, long-time Albany Alphas player and San Jose
Thrust baller ​
Margaret Walters​
(Hyena, G) was surprisingly traded away
to the Montana Howlers, in exchange for ​
Corey Allen​
.
Mark Ferramin​
(Ferret, C) has signed a one-year, $1 million contract
with the Bangor Tides. Ferramin is best known for playing with the
Plymouth Taproots in last year’s playoffs run.
Due to good performances in the FBADL, the Edmonton Totems have
handed ​
Rikki Singh​
(Mongoose, G/F) a one-year, $1 million contract - an
uncontested signing from restricted free agency to league minimum
contract. Singh stayed active in the D-League after failing to get drafted
in 2013.
NEW STORIES ​
- (pg. 6)
Every week, members of our community write stories about the teams and the characters of the FBA. To
the best of our knowledge, the following is a list of stories written and published since the last newsletter.
(We’ve also included some of the ​
FBA Forum​
exclusive content, since it is up and running again!)
Noche Buena: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas​
- ~HerrWozzeck et al.
It’s a holiday celebration at the Atti-Morales household - a slew of FBA players and family members!
Let the Memory Live Again...​
- ~HerrWozzeck
In this short story, Pietro stops for a moment outside a sports bar to watch a familiar friend on TV...
The Kat Family: Building Bridges Going Down Family Lane​
- ~XenosBlade
Jonathan uses his free time to visit his uncle and cousin in Hawaii that he hasn't seen for years.
From Maine to Moonshine​
- ~Kingsley_Wolfe, ~Haloke
Hal finds out he has to make a rather abrupt move, after being traded from the Tides to the Moonshiners.
The Steinberg Report: Dylan Redfield Interview​
- ~HerrWozzeck, ~Wendingo
Dylan did a thing (read the first page of this newsletter!) and, of course, Will’s on the case with details!
Enter the New Head Coach​
- ~XenosBlade
In the middle of a daunting search for a head coach, Dave Walnuts finds an unexpected candidate...
Barrett Buys a $6.5 million Mansion...​
- ~Qovapryi
With a big new contract in tow, Scoonie has a bit of money to spend. Why not live the Good Life?
What Happened and Why​
- ~Thwaitesy
After their loss to Dakota in the playoffs, Marcus needs to reassess his position on the Lone Stars.
Kidane Decides​
- ~Harlow
At a press conference, Raoul Kidane weighs two contract options; which one would we choose?
Rise and Fall of William Kassius​
- ~JWolfman
A very cool historic perspective on the FBA of the 1970s, and the career of a ring-tailed lemur.
Hexenjagd​
- ~IllaRouge
What strike? Get back to work, rookies! Hildegard flies to Seattle to meet with her new arch rival...
Power Poulet: ​
Je veux un autre voyage.​
- ~itsamadworld919
The young rooster has a few words about his fellow teammates, and talks of his urge to travel.
Fire of Hope: Preparation​
- ~HerrWozzeck, ~MartineauQC
Agundio prepares for a future Firestorm promo night by having a chat with his general manager.
It Crawls in, and Tells You When Your Time is Up… ​
- ~Ratiphex
Edwin Griega ended his FBA career prematurely due to health issues. So, where is he now?
________________________________________________
ART AND MEDIA -​
(pg. 7)
The following section highlights some of the new art and multimedia from the FBA community.
Shooting Guard Showdown​
- ~Adabune
​
Looks like the starting SGs are rookies. Jonathan Lawyer and
Matthew Silvius having a bit of a one-on-one matchup during their
game. Looks like Silvius has him guarded pretty well but who
knows what that meerkat can do with his fancy footwork.
(characters belong to ~FadedForest and ~XenosBlade)
Dribble Deluxe, C’est François​
- ~Pac
​
Who’s a good dog!? It happens to be the point guard that the
Texas Lone Stars have picked up: François Martineau from
Canada. This could be a good marketing strategy for them with
him having his tongue out like that. Good boy!
(character belongs to ~MartineauQC)
The Miami Trumpeter’s Office​
- ~Pac
​
The intern at the Miami Trumpeter, Will Steinberg, has a record of
everything that goes on in the office. What’s that crazy cat doing in
that office anyway? What’s he gonna do with that cane, I wonder?
(characters in sketch belong to ~HerrWozzeck)
Welcome to the Whips, Lance!​
- ~NekoCrispy
Looks like Lindsey isn’t going to be the only one rocking the new
uniform. Arizona Whips starting PG, Lance Wildfyre, has been
rocking out the new uniform as well! I wonder if the marketing
team will make a plushie version of him. He’d be so adorable and
cuddly!
(character belongs to ~Rourkie)
A Solemn Farewell​
- ~Pac
​
Misha Maxwell, starting Shooting Guard for the Las Vegas
Wildcards, mourns for her grandfather at his funeral. Poor girl.
Losing an important family member during the season must be
tough on her.
(character belongs to ~Gabriel-Fawkes)
Edwin Griega, 2016​
- ~Adabune
​
Well, well, well. This certainly is a blast from the past. Edwin
Griega, retired Forward for the Firestorm, who is now an assistant
to the head coach at the Avian University of Hamilton in Ontario.
He does look good with that hair and those glasses... Good to
see him back on the courts!
(character belongs to ~Ratiphex)
Engraved in Flesh​
- ~Pac
​
There’s a little ​
somethin’-somethin’​
that Sterling is trying
desperately to hide, and he’s going through great lengths to keep
it hidden. But what is it? Well, you gotta ask him yourself - duh! If
you gotta hold your nose as you do so, we understand.
(character belongs to ~Harlow)
Red Deer Gift Exchange​
- ~Foxenawolf
​
And no, we don’t mean the Canadian city. Another year, another
great Christmas portrait of the cervine brothers. Looks like Dylan
and Aspen Redfield aren’t exactly to thrilled about the gifts they
exchanged. Their chemistry always seem to go downhill... I never
see them having a “good” relationship. Such love!
(characters belong to ~Wendingo and Akkarri)
Welcome Back, Rikki​
- ~Jasonafex
After going undrafted in 2013, the mongoose did well enough in
the FBADL to be offered a contract with the Edmonton Totems.
So what does that mean? We need some artz of Rikki! Welcome
to the FBA!
(character belongs to ~coyote42)
FEATURED STORY​
- (pg. 9)
Ch. 6, Unexpected Gifts​
~​
Wolfnumber9 (art by ~Pac)
December 23-25, 2015
----**---I walked out of the locker room with my bag, started
putting on my jacket, and headed out. Coach wanted one
last practice before Christmas break. It gave me a chance
to give everyone gifts; Teresa helped out, of course. I got
Wendy a coupon to a steak restaurant, MacQuilkin got
some glasses, Telki got some jewelery, etc etc. They all
seemed to like their gifts... I just got some clothes. I know
I should be thankful, and I’m an adult… but I want something ​
cooooolllll​
… not clothes.
Once I stepped into the garage and the annoying reporters were done flashing pictures, I was happy to
enjoy some quiet “Hey, Tex!”
Good bye quiet. I turned around and saw that it was just Josh. “Hey Josh. What’s going on?” I said.
“Hey, uh. Good practice today.”
“Heh, glad you think so. Now if only coach would let me play longer.”
“Eh, don’t worry too much about that. We’re just trying to get back in rhythm and get back to the playoffs.
Maybe then you’ll get your minutes.”
“Yea… I’m gonna go now. Merry Christmas and all that.”
“Wait… I got you something.”
I was frozen for a while. I just remembered that I didn’t get Josh anything. He then reached out of his
pocket and gave me a small box… I can remember my papa saying that if a man gives you a small box,
you give it back to him and run away…
“Here.” He said.
I was still embarrassed, but I slowly opened it. I looked inside. It was a bracelet… and it had my name and
jersey number on it.
“I know you say you’re not a jewelry kind of girl, but I know you like bracelets.”
“Oh, ​
Dios mío​
, Josh… this is great, I love it… oh no, I didn’t get you anything…”
“Hey, it’s okay. Playing on the same team with you is good enough.”
He then reached out and gave me a hug. I couldn’t even hug back. I just felt awkward.
He then let go and said, “Merry Christmas, Tex.” He then walked away.
I had my tail between my legs. I’ve been staying away from Josh since the season began… and he still got
me a gift… a great gift, too. I got into my car and just sat down on the front seat. I took a deep breath.
“OH MY GODDDD!” Someone screamed.
“Ah! What the hell?!” I said. It turned out that Teresa was in the backseat the whole time. “Girl, are you out
of your mind?!”
“Shhhhh, no no, ​
hermana​
. I ask the questions. Now who was that?” She said.
“... Nobody.”
“Well, that ‘nobody’ just gave you a gift and made you weak to your knees, so I’d say he’s not just
nobody.”
“Look, Teresa - it’s nothing, okay? Me and Josh just… well, we tried…”
“It didn’t work out?”
“...No.”
“You know you have to get him something, right?”
I grabbed the wheel tightly and started the car. “I ​
knowwwww.​
” I moaned angrily.
“Alright, I’ll go shopping later and…”
“No, Teresa… I got this.”
“Oh… Okay then,” she said in shock. She then crawled over to the passenger seat with a goofy smile on
her face.
“What’s with you?” I asked.
“Um, hello? Feliz Navidad, Tex! It’s almost Christmas!”
“Oh… right.”
“So… what’s the plan? We hitting up a party? Going around Huntsville, spreading Christmas cheer? Going
to a Christmas show?”
I started driving off. “Same plan as last year, really,” I said.
“Well, what did you do last year?”
“Stayed at my apartment and watched Christmas specials.”
“... Really?”
“What?”
“Let me guess, you also wore ugly pajama pants and ate ice cream.”
“How did you… shut up!” I said jokingly.
“I’m serious, Tex. We need to get you out of the house, out of the gym - it’s okay to have a little fun, you
know?”
“Hey, I work hard to play hard. You see how little time I get on the court. Every minute counts.”
“Ugh, Tex, I know you want to play more and I know you want the team to do better, but this overworking
yourself attitude you got going on right now… that’s not you.”
We were both silent for a while. I just kept my eyes on the road. I could tell Teresa was still looking at me. I
took a deep breath and said, “Fine, what do you want to do?”
“There you go! Okay, so I’ve been making calls and there’s this nice, cute little party over at this club, very
Christmas-themed, with the snow and the lights and the red, white, and green colors, and I know what
you’re thinking, you don’t want to be seen at a club getting your freak on, but there are some big
important CEO types that are gonna be there, having a good time, so we can have some fun and maybe
even get you an advertisement deal thingy, right? What do you say?”
I thought for a while, then said: “Getting my… freak on?”
Teresa was silent. I could feel the scold she was giving me.
“Alright.” I said. “Let’s do it.”
----**---You can read the rest of the story ​
here​
!
SEASON PREVIEW - WESTERN CONFERENCE​
-​
(pg. 12)
The Report - by Will Steinberg​
(~HerrWozzeck)
​
Now that we covered the Eastern Conference in our previous newsletter, let’s take a gander at this year’s
Western Conference to see how they’re shaping up compared to last season. This report comes from the
Miami Trumpeter, written by Will Steinberg (feline). Below are his analyses!
Western Conference
Alaska Arctics
Previous Season Record​
: 39-41 (2nd, Pacific)
Lost: ​
Leo Seppala, Valentine Prudhomme, Alessandro Serra, Zack Tate
It looks like the clock has struck midnight on last year’s Cinderella team. But hey, they’ll be okay in the
long run.
To start, Alaska has lost some of its best assets. The first asset to go was Zach Tate, and his loss will
definitely be felt by the Arctics. What’s more, they decided not to offer to Carl Esteban, though that
may not be such a huge problem given that Esteban was showing his age last season. However, they
will feel the loss of Alessandro Serra most profoundly, and perhaps now they are kicking themselves
for not playing him on the starting line more frequently (especially given their failure to re-sign
Esteban). It doesn’t help that their draftees this year are not that remarkable. Leroy Wyatt is the only
notable rookie, and even that is more for his personality quirks than it is his actual ability at the game.
The rest are wholly unremarkable, even Top 24 contender Ogun Okayu. Perhaps these players will be able to step up and fill the
big shoes they have been asked to fill, but I am not holding my breath.
But on the flip side? They’re not in that much trouble. They did swipe Otis Najac and Devon Kellendyne, after all. On top of that,
they still also have some of the assets that made them great last season. Ambrose Slade, Cliff Matthiews, Bobby Baylor… All of
them are fairly strong players, and they definitely look to stay around for a while yet. (Well, except possibly Baylor. He’s getting
old.) And best of all, they’ve managed to hold on to Kilisimasi Fua’fua through the bidding war that he was caught up in. If nothing
else, Alaska has that.
And they should be thankful for that. Sure, they lost two of their strongest players, but they may not take as big a tumble as a lot of
people feared. And there’s something to be thankful for with that.
Arizona Whips
Previous Season Record​
: 35-45 (4th, Plains)
Lost: ​
R. Maxwell, T. Sanftner, M. Porter, G. Zindendel, I. Drake, A. McCormick
Well, this team has certainly changed a lot. And I don’t mean just that it got rid
of its biggest supply of Wall Street cash and bad PR, either. I mean, surprise
surprise, Santa Fe apparently wasn’t doing it for them, so they moved to
Flagstaff, Arizona. Hey, I’m sure all those rowdy college kids appreciate it.
Free jerseys! What’s not to love?
All kidding aside, the Whips had quite a bit of rebuilding to do. Thankfully, GM
Hugo Chavic has done a marvelous job, and he’s put the team in a position
that may mean the Whips won’t miss the playoffs this year. Alan Chesuk may begin to show his age this season, but he is backed
by Morgan McCarthy. It’s a smart move: Morgan learns from Chesuk, and when Chesuk starts to age there’ll be someone there
who can pick up the slack from where he left off. And there is still time, after all: Chesuk may be old, but he and Godfrey Zindendel
were a force to be reckoned with, and they could have carried the Whips to the playoffs if they hadn’t been hindered by a middling
bench and some very bad PR.
The trades have also been smart, culminating with the acquisition of Albert Jon Middendorf from Biloxi. Michael Porter may be
gone, but Middendorf is worth the cost. With Tobias Macklin there as well, Middendorf might have an easy time adjusting to the
team chemistry. Even within the team, the moves have been smart. They still have Eastern Conference convert Lance Wildfyre, and
a lot of the problem players were weeded out too.
It remains to be seen whether the Whips have what it takes to hold their own in the playoffs. But this is as good a start as any.
Dakota bikers
Previous Season Record​
: 41-39 (2nd, Plains)
Lost: ​
Simon Thal, Aesop Tecumseh
Well, it’s business as usual in Dakota.
Like Albany, there isn’t that much to say about Dakota: the Bikers are an excellent team, and
they’ve held on to most of their reasons for success from last season.
And really, with most of their assets not going into free agency, that shouldn’t be surprising. Dylan
Redfield is, of course, the best forward currently playing, they picked smart with Matthew Silvius,
and Cassidy Whitelatch is still with the Bikers. What I also find interesting is that the Bikers
somehow manage to carry a lot of brand loyalty with some of their free agents, as Redfield proved
last season. It’s a trend that’s mostly continued this off-season, with Ryan Malone being back in
business there along with Catherine DeMille. So really, nothing much has changed apart from a few moves to change the bench
that likely won’t affect the quality of the bench.
The only true problem I can see is PR getting in the way of team chemistry. And on that front, GM Ben Bracy needs to make sure
of two things: that Charles Burgh will not be the straw that finally bursts the Bikers’ ego bubble, and that Brian Delano Montgomery
III does not turn into Trent St. Croix 2.0. Thankfully, Brian is making progress on the latter, and there’s the chance that Burgh will
put his head down and play, given his mindset fits with that of the Bikers.
Still, it’s something to consider. If that is kept in check, the Bikers still look to be in excellent shape when the season starts.
Edmonton Totems
Previous Season Record​
: 35-45 (3rd, Mountain)
Lost: ​
S. Silverspine, N. Kassius, C. Moerke, C. Song-Hwa, R. Savoy, E. Ferhatovich
If anyone needs proof that the FBA doubles as a dating service, here it is, folks.
Unfortunately, their new moniker as “the Love Boat” may have come at the cost of other assets. The
biggest problem? The small forwards: that position is no longer as solid as it was, now that Russell
Savoy has departed. What doesn’t help is that their attempt to court Renee Fiora ended in failure.
They’ll have to hope Draft acquisition George Barns Allison will be able to act as the small forward they
need, otherwise they are in a bad position there.
I can’t even say their good moves were all that good. Siegfried Romanoren is a good player, but he has
lately taken after Moby’s book with a sophomore slump that, if history ends up repeating itself, will only
be exacerbated by the contract he has now. Additionally, Rocky Caracal and Lenny Hicks are getting
old, and there have been no attempts to add strength to either of those positions. Both are excellent
players, but I do wonder how long they will be able to keep up the momentum.
There is, of course, a silver lining. Lukaas Hirvonen is an excellent player, and now that Crosby Sutters
is in Edmonton with him I can very easily see it improving morale on the court. Crosby, too, may prove
good back-up for Lenny Hicks, if he does not outright replace Hicks on the starting line. The bench still looks mostly the same,
apart from that.
So I don’t forecast that the Totems will fall apart at the end of this season. But then again, nobody did that last season either. And
unlike last season, some of their stronger assets are gone, so they may already start below where they were last season. And that
is not good for the Totems’ devoted fanbase.
Hawaii Kahunas
​
Previous Season Record​
: 35-45 (4th, Pacific)
Lost: ​
J. Martin, I. Estrada, E. O’Rourke, C. Hengst, C. Burgh
The Kahunas definitely had an interesting season last year, given that they managed to get in the
playoffs despite all the scandals. They were helped by Edmonton’s total collapse, but I maintain that
they could not have done it if they were not already showing signs of growing as a team.
Hence: this season, a playoffs spot for this plucky team is much more certain.
The Kahunas’ problem last year was not for lack of a good starting line. They clearly had that,
particularly as relates to their guards: the headlining trade for Teo Masalia has reaped great benefits,
and their two rookie guards Julian Cross-Kiraly and Aurora Goldshine really proved their worth. However, they had a lackluster
bench, particularly on forwards. Additionally, Gerry Cross is beginning to get old, and talk is he may retire soon. And that’s to say
nothing of the fact that two of their strongest players were going into Free Agency this season.
So really, above all else they needed to hang on to that starting line and build their bench. And of course, given that this team is
headed by GM Wilmer Grehr, we had to expect he would make some weird decisions. It was a curious move that Grehr was so
insistent on getting rookies in the 2014 Draft only to dispense with half of them in the off-season, and it was curious that he further
did not take part in this year’s Draft. But frankly, we should all give him a break: after all, his madness has paid off.
Case in point: Zack Tate’s signing, even if it is one of Grehr’s tamer moves. I don’t think I need to go into detail about how Tate’s
ability as a player will help Hawaii immensely, but from what I’ve heard his friendship with Alphonse Norwich IV might cause the rat
to foul less than he usually does. They also managed to hold on to Scoonie Barrett; aside from the fact that Scoonie is sure to
bring more of his great playing back to the team, it may change the forward game for the Kahunas. After all, now that they have a
starting center in Tate, Scoonie can be moved to the power forward slot and succeed Cross. Combine all that with a strengthened
bench that cut away Ione Estrada and other weak players…
The Kahunas are in excellent shape, to say nothing of the fact that they have come a long way from their Galveston days. So look
out, Western Conference: these guys are sure to light Honolulu ablaze.
Oh, and before I move on, one other note: is anyone surprised that Norwich signed back on with Hawaii? ‘Cause if you were, I’m at
liberty to ask what rock you’ve been hiding under the past two years.
Las Vegas Wildcards
​
Previous Season Record​
: 26-54 (4th, Mountain)
Lost: ​
It would be easier to tell you who ​
didn’t ​
leave during the offseason :P
And here’s my other lengthy rambling. Buckle your seatbelts; whatever happened in
Vegas this time definitely didn’t stay there!
Like a lot of teams that didn’t make last season’s playoffs, Vegas took the approach of
rebuilding from the ground up. Unlike a lot of other teams that have rebuilt, though, they
went about it by way of a complete restructuring. And by that, I mean they got rid of
some of their strongest assets as well as their weaker assets. I mean, really? Barnaby Jazz? Sebastián Kosciusko? But hey, owner
James Dynn had a different vision for the team. Bring in new A-listers, redo the bench, something that’d get the team out of last
season’s slump. And then, that strategy fell apart, which drove them to panic mode. That’s bad enough, but then they neglected to
pay proper attention to the Vegas free agents that they did want back in Vegas. The original plan sounded fine on paper (they
offered to Kidane, after all), and it might have pulled Vegas out of its slump if it had succeeded. But it didn’t, due to two parts bad
luck, one part skewed priorities, and I’ll bet you anything some of the people they offered to looked at how Barbie was let go and
decided they wanted nothing to do with that.
Now, all that having been said, the Wildcards aren’t a lost cause. After all, Vegas’ plans only really fell apart in the free agent
signings. As far as trades go, their lot is much better.
I mean, they managed to get Godfrey Zindendel. Godfrey Zindendel, for crying out loud! The goat is a beast even on his worst
days! The shocker trade between Vegas and Williamsburg that occurred on Draft Night may also benefit Vegas more than people
realize. Misha Maxwell may be untested on a professional level, but she has a lot to prove as a Harvaardwak graduate getting into
the league in a post-Trent St. Croix world; that alone may be motivation for bringing her A-game to Vegas. And of course, there is
the one signing that went according to plan: that of Mathiyazhagan Balasubramaniam. Sure, Moby needs to get his act together,
but if Barbie was any indication Vegas might be the place where Moby can do that, especially now that he doesn’t have a huge
contract to get complacent on. They also have two very good guards, with Alyssia Silverman being traded to the team and with Li
Ho Fook still on his present contract.
Oh, and the best thing they’ve done? Management fired the previous coach. I’m not sure Soros was aware of the scope of what
Gruffy was doing with the team, but she took action anyway. With Dimi Kabat now at the helm, the Wildcards may be able to find a
few more chips to gamble with this season. He just needs to rally the players.
So, truth be told? Even without the stars they tried to sign, they still have various ingredients for a
good starting line. I’m far less confident that the bench can carry Vegas anywhere, and that may
prove to be their undoing. But ultimately, they’re luckier than Biloxi. And that is something.
Montana Howlers
​
Previous Season Record​
: 55-25 (1st, Mountain)
Lost: ​
Miguel Mendoza, Sanford Teeson, Omar Pink, Diego Imperio, Adrian McCormick
Well, the Howlers had a stellar season, and I still maintain that they should have made it to the
conference finals over Alaska. But then again, the Howlers did have some bench issues that needed
to be worked out, as their run on the Finals showed. But otherwise? They have made all the right
moves this offseason.
In many respects, the only player the Howlers risked losing in free agency was Lemond Conkale, who is of course one of the
Howlers’ great players. I still haven’t made up my mind on the contract GM Art Sadowski dropped at his feet, but it did scare off all
the other teams from making offers, so they did get what they wanted. They were also able to hold on to Vincent Maurundi, which
will also help in the long run. From there, pretty much all of the Howlers’ best assets (Bobby Rae Brine, Hiroyuki Matsuura, Bailey
Brisbane, et al) are still on their same contracts. And after drafting Christian Ashbury and stealing Kresta Renstill from Vegas, they
now have greater guard depth than they did before, and that’s most of where Montana needed to do work.
I think the main thing that everyone is worried about now is whether or not Nohea Holokai’s age will finally show this season. I
mean, he’s been playing since 1999! Thankfully, it seems that Sadowski prepared for that, first with Hiroyuki Matsuura last season
and now with Sterling Bengtzing this season. And yes, I say Bengtzing. Some might think that his build would not lend itself well to
a center, but people said the same thing about Scoonie Barrett. All they need to do is keep Sterling’s aggression in check (ironic,
considering this is the most aggressive team in the FBA we’re talking about), and they’ll be golden.
Montana already boasted a pretty scary team last season, it just needed to tweak here and there. And now, the Howlers are set to
be scarier than they were last season.
San Jose Thrust
Previous Season Record​
: 30-50 (4th, Pacific)
Lost: ​
Two thirds of the team, including Kellendyne, Durby, Beck, Fiora...
I have the feeling San Jose is about to become a very newsworthy team. I mean,
where do we begin? Foo-Foo as coach and owner? The conflicts of interest
there are going to be insane! I mean, has anyone even seen Foo-Foo coach
before? And what’s to say that new GM Reiko Akemi won’t be fired so Foo-Foo
can take her place? I mean, can you imagine Foo-Foo as the dictator of an FBA
franchise? The thought keeps me awake at night!
Akemi, though, has shown that she is absolutely ruthless when it comes to her acquisitions, and it’s certainly yielded some
incredible returns in a post-Shane Rufus world. I mean, Barnaby Jazz? Dewitt Azad Ghakhar? Hell, she even managed to snipe
Alessandro Serra from Alaska. It’s quite remarkable that San Jose has compiled such a list of stars.
In addition to that, they still have a few other strong assets, too. Rachel Barsky has proved herself amply in the previous seasons,
and her presence there may make up for their failure to re-sign Renee Fiora. That failure also puts San Jose’s decision to draft
Jonathan Lawyer in a better light than before. They also still hold Redawn Fenwatcher and Margaret Walters, both of whom will
prove valuable to San Jose. Couple that with a completely reworked (and somewhat more solid) bench, and San Jose’s rebuilding
looks to be done.
Of course, it hasn’t been smooth sailing the whole way (Akemi’s failed attempt to renegotiate Kwaku Bbwaddene’s contract is one
of the more notable hiccups of this FA period), but otherwise? The moves made this off-season have been rather smart. Provided
Foo-Foo surprises us all by being a good coach (which I’m not holding my breath for), San Jose may not miss this season’s
playoffs.
Santa Ana Spectrums
Previous Season Record: ​
59-21 (1st, Pacific)
Lost: ​
R. Pimona, D. Aurelias, Z. Plushpaw, U. Monogoyak, K. Iona, C. Sutters
Well, Santa Ana has certainly done quite a bit of restructuring in this present Free Agency
period. And by that, I mean a lot of restructuring. A contentious buy-out, a huge trade, a
resignation that’s forced Julio Onca into the head coach slot, and hey, it’s no longer an
all-male club!
For one thing, they’re pretty much completely rewriting the book on their forwards. Ain
Iannizzi and Terrell Vora are the only forwards left from last season, and the rest have gone
away. It seems strange that they would do as much to their forwards, but then again this
could come as a blessing in disguise. Among this new crop of forwards are the likes of Lee
Jin-Sung and Kalsang Namcaki, both very solid forwards who showed last year that they
definitely should have been drafted. Lee Jin-Sung has proven to be a starter-caliber player, and Namcaki offers solid bench
support. Coupled with the acquisition of Christiaan Hengst, Santa Ana is in a good place as far as forwards and centers go.
In addition, Santa Ana’s new management has not let go of most of their guards, which is where the real strength of the Spectrums
lay last season. Victor Vos is a solid player, and while he might never be able to replicate his insanely good performance the
previous season (and frankly, who would be able to replicate his performance in the Finals?) he may still be able to keep the
Spectrum’s momentum going. It helps that he has great back-up in the form of Additya Anggun, who is quickly turning into a
starter-caliber player and who may be able to replace Vos if the going gets rough. And of course, who can forget McDyess and
Parsons?
The only issue is whether Julio Onca is up to the task of being head coach. He is only the interim coach, to be certain, but a lot of
pressure still rests on his shoulders. If the Spectrums can’t find a replacement for Alan Foster, they may be stuck with Onca. And
depending on how Onca handles his duties, it could go either way.
But other than that, the Spectrums don’t stand to lose much. At the very least, they won’t tumble to the bottom of their conference
the way the Moonshiners did last season. And hey, they’re no longer the SASage fest. That’s also huge, isn’t it?
Seattle Summit
Previous Season Record​
: 45-35 (2nd, Mountain)
Lost: ​
Antony Rufkin
So this is the third team that I don’t really have that much to comment on, since the
Summit didn’t have to do a lot to build their team this off-season.
Most of their best players are still there. Jake Turner was one of the highlights of the
FBA in general last season, and if his performance at the World Jam is any indication
he’s only getting started. But if it were the Jake Turner show, Seattle wouldn’t get very
far. Which is why it’s a good thing that Daniel Quvianuq is still there as well. They’ve
also done some much-needed work on their bench, cutting out a lot of weaker players
and bringing in stronger talent.
The only things they had to worry about were Evan Marshall not returning to the team.
And thankfully, brand loyalty won out over Texas’ attempt to curry favor with a new
star, and Evan Marshall is still with the Summit. It also won over with Jeri Naranjo, though the fact that Seattle was the only one to
offer to her was a big help as well. And in filling in holes in the team, the Summit took care of that in the Draft by being one of the
few teams to draft more than one Top 24 draftee.
Overall, the Summit is still in a strong position this year, and they may go farther after cutting the players that didn’t work. So again,
not much to say here.
Texas Lone stars
Previous Season Record​
: 41-39 (1st, Plains)
Lost: ​
Lukas Sangre, Caspian Rhos, Timur Tomlin, Travis Buckner
These guys are in Texas-sized trouble over here.
To be certain, the Lone Stars had a very strong starting line, but like Hawaii they had a lackluster
bench. Unlike Hawaii, though, the team was also hampered greatly by Billcheck’s coaching, which
became clear after Buck Hopper’s thirty-day injury last season. So getting rid of Billchek should have
equalized everything. The offseason also gave them an opportunity to build their guard strength,
which is doubly important now given Buck Hopper’s age. So things were actually looking up for
Texas.
And then their main star pledged allegiance to Plymouth. While that’s good for Plymouth, it’s forced
the Lone Stars to abandon pretty much all of their plans during this Free Agency period to scramble for a new star. Their idea of
Buckner’s replacement? Emil O’Rourke, who never stepped off the bench in his time in Hawaii. It may turn out he’s a diamond in
the rough, but I doubt he is anywhere near the level Travis was.
There is a silver lining in all of this; they at least still have Wesley Lachs and Ahti Nereus. The two British Columbian fish proved
they are star material, particularly Wesley: if anyone can fill in the Buckner-sized hole that Texas has now, it’s Wesley. I imagine the
only reason he was not made team captain was because of his young age, but Ms. Lin and Mr. Louis would do well to consider
Wes as team captain if Marcus Knight doesn’t step up and start playing more consistently.
One thing is for certain, though: Travis Buckner’s departure has left the Lone Stars in a bad
position. And no matter what happens, Texas will need to work extra hard if they hope to make it
into the playoffs without their former star.
Winnipeg Voyageurs
Previous Season Record​
: 37-43 (4th, Plains)
Lost: ​
Mike Lee, Nathan Robinson
The Voyageurs haven’t had a spark since they were knocked out by the Summit in the 2013
playoffs. Well, the Rapids. Regardless, even that couldn’t have prepared Winnipeg for the Plains
division suddenly being super competitive. Fortunately, they ultimately prevailed over Santa Fe in getting into the playoffs, so they
may still be able to grab a competitive edge this season.
And on that front, it’ll be a tough road for them; that said it might not be as hard as some fear. For one thing, they were blessed
that most of their franchise players did not go into Free Agency. Dirk von Striker, Doug Dramson, and Zoie Wilds have both proven
their weight as franchise players, even with a minor slump. The loss of Mike Lee is rather unfortunate as he was one of Winnipeg’s
stronger players, but they have managed to hold on to Mike Timmids and especially Yves Carbonneau. With those players in place,
Winnipeg might be able to maintain the course they have now.
Of course, the bigger piece of news is that they managed to nab Derek Kim during the Draft. I can’t say I was expecting Derek to
not get drafted until then, but thankfully cooler heads prevailed in Winnipeg, and they grabbed an incredible player out from under
everyone else. If Zoie flags, she has incredible back-up.
But otherwise, their bench is pretty lacking. And that might prove to be their undoing in the end. Their starting line is not that bad,
but I don’t know what will happen if even one person from that starting line winds up sidelined for whatever reason. But that said,
the Voyageurs are a hardier team than most people will give them credit for. And that will go a long way. And hey, they have a few
key pieces to start their rebuilding if things go south this season, so not all is lost.
GAME RECAPS ​
- (pg. 17)
December 30, 2015: Winnipeg Voyageurs @ Arizona Whips - ​
In what was a hard fought divisional game
between the ​
Winnipeg Voyageurs and the ​
Arizona Whips​
, the visitors pulled
off a close win thanks to a heroic effort in the fourth quarter. With five
minutes to go, the Voyageurs went on a 10-0 scoring run while from seven
behind that started with a clutch three-pointer from rookie sensation ​
Derek
Kim (Kkachi, G) and ended with a crushing dunk from sophomore forward
Kevin Malka (Giant Pangolin, F), and they never let go of the game from that
point onward. Third-year forward ​
Albert Jon Middendorff (Kodiak Bear, F/G)
almost closed the gap between the two teams with some clutch shots here
and there, but Whips captain ​
Lance Wildfyre (Rabbit, G) failed to get the
game-winning shot in with 1.8 seconds remaining, resulting in their second
straight loss. ​
Kevin Malka earned the player of the game award with a solid double-double of 16 points
and 10 rebounds; ​
Mike Timmids (Pronghorn, G) and ​
Albert Jon Middendorff both led the scoring for their
teams with 21 and 19 of them respectively. In contrast to previous games where he seemed to be eager to
be the best player on the court, ​
Derek Kim seemed more comfortable to opt for a supporting role within
the team in recent games; when asked post-game about this change, the point guard replied, "I'm just
playing the role that the team wants me to play at the time; if it results in a win, I couldn't be happier either
way."
The Voyageurs will attempt to get a winning streak going to start off the new year against the recently
struggling ​
Alaska Arctics at away; the Whips will try and break their losing
streak against the ​
Santa Ana Spectrums at home, who have been coming off
a string of stellar results.
-​
S. Masterson (~anonymous13423)
December 31, 2015: Biloxi Voodoo @ Tallahassee Typhoons - These are
not the ​
Typhoons we were promised. Far from being #unstoppable, the team
from Florida has struggled to maintain a .500 record.
These are not the ​
Biloxi Voodoo we were promised. Before the season
began, analysts had all but written off the Mississippians, but one month into
the season they are firmly atop the Southern Division.
A key piece of both predictions was highly-sought-after bigfur ​
Rosalie Smoot (American Bison, F/C).
Drafted by Biloxi in 2013, the bison defected to Tallahassee during free agency. Smoot has not spoken
publicly about her decision aside from a generic form statement citing greater opportunities for her career.
Her consistent strong performance has proven that Tallahassee was right to aggressively pursue her, but
Biloxi’s surprising success without her may very well give the bison cause to second guess which team
was truly the better opportunity. That’s a lot of weight to carry, even for a broad-shouldered 250-pound
bovine.
Last night’s matchup was the first regular-season meeting between these two teams this year. A
preseason contest before a raucous Biloxi crowd resulted in a memorable Typhoons victory. This time the
Voodoo seemed determined to strike back and prove their string of recent success was no fluke and to
end 2015 on a high note.
The New Year’s Eve battle started off with a bang. Smoot herself sunk the very first shot of the game. An
image flashed on the jumbotron overhead of the bison’s secret weapon: her husband and daughter
cheering her on in their first home game since making the move to Tallahassee themselves. The Voodoo,
however, were not so easily intimidated. ​
Sarah Lancaster (Cheetah, G) responded with a three on the very
next play to put the visitors up by one.
So it continued through the first quarter. A strong performance by ​
Jake Velox (Swift Fox, G) saw the home
team up by 4 at the start of the second, but equally impressive efforts from longtime-Biloxian ​
Bobby
Heron (Snowy Egret, F) and perennial hot potato ​
Craig Reinhardt (Black Panther, F/C) saw the deficit cut
to 2 by halftime.
The pace did not slow in the slightest after the break. Biloxi matched Tallahassee shot-for-shot. Velox
continued his unbelievable, unwavering, and, yes, unstoppable performance, eventually notching 26
points on the night, including five three-pointers – more than the entire Voodoo combined. For a while,
Velox and Smoot had a regular assembly line going, with the bison pulling down the rebounds and feeding
them directly to the fox. Smoot’s 11 rebounds combined with her 18 points to give her another
double-double.
Things got ugly in the fourth. The intensity of the game began to take its toll on the Typhoons. ​
Ren Inoue
(Tosa Inu, G), himself filling in for an injured ​
Klaus Korber (Doberman, G), left the court early in the quarter.
Shortly afterwards, Tallahassee’s other high-profile free agent signing ​
Narkissa Kassius (Ringtail Lemur, G)
joined him after aggravating her long-troublesome knee. Both were officially placed on the injured list after
the game.
The Voodoo seized the opportunity and began to push back hard. The momentum of the game started to
shift unmistakably Biloxi-ward. Rookie ​
Margo Bates (White Tailed Deer, G) put up two baskets in quick
succession and veteran ​
Aragon Fisher (Otter, G) sunk his lone three of the night to put the game within a
single possession. With seconds left on the clock, Lancaster found herself with the ball at the arc; a two
would tie, a three would win. The cheetah went for the glory, aiming to end her night the way she had
started it. She took a step back outside the arc and let loose. The buzzer
rang while the ball was at the top of its flight. The orb hit the rim, bounced…
and fell out. No basket.
Battered and bruised, the Typhoons celebrated their win as the New Year
was ushered in with music and balloons.
Who knows what surprises 2016 will bring?
-​
S. St. James (~Kinto)
January 5, 2016 - Dakota Bikers @ Hawaii Kahunas - And the Hawaii
steamroller just doesn't seem to end. Even after the very publicized league
affair ​
Dylan Redfield (Red Deer, F) had, which had put him off commission for several games, the top team
of the Plains division was still a force to be reckoned with, and it was its turn against the current top dogs
from the remote islands. While the great prowess of ​
Scoonie Barrett (Otter, F/C) and the defensive skills of
Zack Tate (Zorilla, C) dominated the headlines, the turn of strategies tonight was pretty unforeseen, as the
teams shown that potential wasn't an exclusive quality within the team.
As the first quarter progressed, the visitors seemed to trail up towards the win, with stellar debuts of
Fenruss Brylee (Black Wolf, F/C) and revelation talent ​
Matthew Silvius (Long-Tailed Weasel, G/F)
managing to snatch the lead. But just as things were looking up, the worst case scenario loomed over:
After a bad landing after a rebound, ​
Ryan Malone (Kangaroo, G) went down, clutching his big left footpaw
in pain, ruling him out of continuing the game. As the Bikers went in crisis mode, the bulb went lit in a
certain ​
Julian Cross-Kiraly (Saluki, G)'s mind. As Barrett recapped in a post-game interview, what the
canine said to him in half-time was few in words, but loaded with conviction: "I saw gaps, keep passing."
What followed was insanity: After two successful shots in succession by Cross-Kiraly, the team clicked
and kept feeding their shooting guard; those faraway shots kept coming and coming, some connecting,
some straight up blocked by Brylee. And while ​
Catherine DeMille (Palm Cockatoo, G) managed to swipe
the ball twice from the painted otter's oily paws, the islander cohesion struck, with their Forward and
Center power focusing on defending their own basket, while the sophomore French guard kept the
scoreboard lit. The real bone-chilling, crowd-crazing moment of the match was the last second steal the
saluki made against ​
Charles Burgh (Polar Bear, C), dashing to the empty Dakotan half for a flawless three
just before the third quarter ended, to the delight and cheers of the arena.
Silvius and Brylee tried their hardest to recover that first advantage, but as JCK kept with the threes, Tate
kept blocking and Barrett closing with a logo-flashing signature dunk with the aid of ​
Alphonse Norwich IV
(Street Rat, F), the team was content in closing with a win before flying to the mainland in hopes of
keeping their beast streak up. While the Bikers still show they still had quality plays, the absence of
Malone will no doubt affect them in the long run.
There was no doubt who was the celebrated player today, as reporters flocked in on tonight's Player of
the Game. "I'm still digesting it all!" he jested. "But one thing's for certain, this game isn't mine, this is of all
of us. I guess tonight was the best night to show my game drive and professionalism, be the best for my
team and..." he pointed at the score box up high, showing his name. "That's what I did." he closed,
panting his signature split tongue.
The islanders start another journey to the mainland against the ​
Texas Lone Stars​
, while the plains team try
to gather up their mojo as they take on the ​
San Jose Thrust​
. One thing is for certain after today: The
Kahunas sure went all their way in bid them a ​
bon voyage​
.
~Z. Donovan (~Harlow)
POLLS AND TRIVIA! ​
- (pg. 20)
Back by popular demand, the Polls and Trivia section from last year is destined to find a new victor in the
FBA. The rules are the same as before: the ​
first person to get the Trivia question right​
gets 10 points; 5
points for 2nd, 4 points for 3rd, 3 = 4th, 2 = 5th & 6th, and 1 point for everyone afterward. Scores will be
posted and updated per each issue - the winner at the end of the season gets a reward! Last year’s
winner, ​
~anonymous13423​
, won a commission from the artist of his choice!
The current scores will be posted in each newsletter, along with the results.
This Week’s Poll:
This Week’s Trivia Question:
There are plenty of rookie players making
waves in the FBA this season, but we
mustn't forget about the impact that
those 2nd-year players are making for
their respective teams. Out of the class of
2014, who do you want to hear from in an
FSPN interview?
Answer by clicking ​
here​
!
There were 69 players who were entered and/or
eligible for the 2015 FBA Draft. Out of those 69
players, which player that has​
yet to be signed to
any FBA team​
finished with the most points in the
FBA Draft Combine Draftee Skills Challenge​
?
Extra Credit point:​
What FBADL team is this player
currently playing for?
Click ​
here​
to answer the question!
PODCASTS ​
- (pg. 20)
Just a small sub-section note for this newsletter, but several members of our community must be given
attention and credit for the audio work they have been doing.
Ryan Eastman (​
~FadedForest​
), Ronan Shields (​
~Gabriel_Fawkes​
), Marcus Baylor (​
~XenosBlade​
) and a
myriad of other contributors have uploaded podcasts to the Wiki, including their most recent effort, a
review of the month of December in this year’s shortened season. ​
Click here to take a listen​
!
O.O.C. EVENTS​
- (pg. 20)
If new members have gotten involved with the community or have done great things to promote the FBA,
we highlight it here. Occasionally, an FBA member may also be in need of help or needs some tender love
and care… and, as a community, we should be there to help each other out!
Anthro New England 2016​
: ~Pac is Guest of Honor!
This is pretty wide-spread news at this point, but with the theme being “Sportsball” in this year’s iteration
of the furry convention ​
Anthro New England​
, our loveable taco-rat has been chosen to be one of the two
guests of honor! We know that she has done a great deal in expanding the universe of the FBA through
her art and stories, so we’re happy that her work is being recognized beyond the realm of our league.
Several of us will be there to celebrate with Pac, as well as to advertise/promote/beat-with-a-stick the
awesomeness that is the FBA into any soul willing to listen. ​
~Wendingo and ​
~itsamadworld919 will be
holding a panel discussion entitled “Introduction to Furry Sports Leagues: the FBA and UFFL”; a “Guide to
the FBA” has been developed by ​
~KingsleyWolfe​
and ​
~itsamadworld919​
for the convention.
Additionally, if that didn’t sound awesome enough for you, ​
~StevieMaxwell will be holding the obligatory
FSPN podcast, where we will watch the Seattle Summit take on the Tallahassee Typhoons. So if you were
not able to attend the con, don’t worry - tune in for the podcast and join us for a thrilling evening!
Furry Basketball Forum​
is back up and running
Thanks to the efforts of ​
~Rourkie​
, we have a live forum again! The forum has been inaccessible since late
November due to some technical issues. We thank our favorite fluffy committee bunny for this effort in
getting this resource back online!
Additionally, the forum is a great location to say hello - so if you are new to the league and aren’t exactly
sure where to go, or maybe you’re a bit afraid to jump into the chat room, ​
leave a post here in the forum
and Stevie will bestow upon you a very healthy (and sugar-free!) forum cookie!
● This is a bit old now, but it must never be forgotten (silly kitty):
THE HOOP!
Year 8, Volume 1
This issue was assembled by ~itsamadworld919 and ~Trivol. The FBA is a creation of Buck Hopper and is
managed by ~StevieMaxwell. Players, agents, art, stories, and media where otherwise not stated are
creations owned by their respective contributor. Entry Logo assembled by ~itsamadworld919. If you wish
to have your content featured, you have a question, or if a correction must be made in the content above,
please send all inquiries to ​
[email protected]​
. Thanks!