applebees mango martini

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THE VALLEY PLANET, INC.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
READ THE PLANET, IT’S FREE!
WWW.VALLEYPLANET.COM
January 20 - February 2, 2005
T
his letter typifies many of the emails
and comments I have received over
the last few weeks. I hope my letter
answers some of those questions and clears
up some things about the November 11,
2004 Valley Planet issue. In that issue I
compared Huntsville to Memphis – it is
the city in which I grew up and know best.
However, it’s up to each person to decide
which city is “better.” Memphis, Huntsville,
New York, Yazoo City and Lick Skillet all
have their pros and cons. I never intended
to insinuate that Memphis or Huntsville was
“better” than the other.
Dear Mr. BGR,
I appreciate the time it took you to write
your letter, along with your wonderful
handwriting. I must, however, disagree with
almost everything you said. Sorry.
Before I critique your critique of my
critique, I’m taking up for Steve Moulton.
You, and more readers than I would have
imagined, have written the Valley Planet to
explain how “wrong” Steve was in his story
referring to a certain SEC game played the
third Saturday in October. He was wrong.
The Alabama-Tennessee game, to which he
was referring, fell on the fourth Saturday of
October this year, not the third. I don’t think
any of you even read the article. Steve was
not referring to the Iron Bowl, which falls
on the third Saturday of November. Think
orange for jack-o-lantern (October). Think,
Auburn wins again for turkey (November).
Now Huntsville may have been founded a
few years before Memphis, but Huntsville
was still a tiny, rural community when
Memphis was a large and growing
metropolitan area. The 1910 city of
Memphis, Tenn. population was 131,105. In
comparison, the 1960 Madison County, Ala.
population was only 117,348. Founding
dates aside, when I said Memphis was an
older city, I guess I meant that Memphis was
a large metropolitan area at least 60 years
before Huntsville could be considered one.
2
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
The five county area including Huntsville is
currently a little more than one half as large
as the five county area including Memphis.
This means our area has done some pretty
significant growing over the past 50 years.
Here are a few population numbers for
everyone’s information (from the U.S.
Census):
The 2003 estimated population of the five
county Huntsville, Athens, Decatur area:
Madison County, Ala. : 289,662
Limestone County, Ala. : 68,245
Morgan County, Ala. : 112,610
Marshall County, Ala. : 83,698
Lincoln County, Tenn. : 31,773
Total: 585,988
The 2003 estimated population of the five
county Memphis area:
Shelby County, Tenn. : 906,178
Fayette County, Tenn. : 32,289
Tipton County, Tenn. : 54,184
Desoto County, Miss. : 124,378
Crittenden County, Ark. : 51, 155
Total: 1,168,184
The 1960 census population of the five
county Huntsville, Athens, Decatur area:
286,162. The 1960 census population of the
five county Memphis area: 751,615
continued on page 26
THE VALLEY PLANET
P.O.Box 335, Meridianville, AL 35759, phone 256.858.6736
Publisher
Milton A. Lamb Jr.
Managing Editor
Lucia Cape
General Manager
Cherié Lamb
Sales & Marketing
Matt Wake
Distribution Manager
Charlotte Griffin
Valley Planet Stylist
Susan Roney
Contributors
Dr. Anarcho,
Jeremy L. Anderson,
Karen Bertiger,
Jennifer H. Daniel,
Steve Moulton,
Ricky Thomason,
Matt Wake
Best of the Valley
Vote Counters
Milton A. Lamb Jr.
Tripp Lamb
The Valley Planet is printed for you by the good
folks at Pulaski Web
in beautiful & sunny Pulaski, Tennessee.
Thank you for reading the fine print of the VALLEY
PLANET. The VALLEY PLANET and valleyplanet.com
are published twice monthly by VALLEY PLANET INC.
P.O.Box 335, Meridianville, AL 35759. Subscriptions
are available for $52 per year, but you can pick up the
paper free all over the place or get it free on the web.
One copy per person please; don’t waste trees. Copyright 2003 by the VALLEY PLANET, INC. All rights
reserved. Reproduction or use without our permission
is strictly prohibited. The views and opinions expressed
within these pages and on the web site are not necessarily those of VALLEY PLANET, INC. or its staff. The
VALLEY PLANET is not responsible for unsolicited
manuscripts or art. Back issues, when we have some,
are available for $2 each. Please send requests by email
[email protected], or mail Valley Planet, P.O.Box
335, Meridianville, AL, 35759, or call
256.858.6736
In The Planet
THE VALLEY PLANET
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
January 20, 2005
NEXT ISSUE FEBRUARY 3, 2005
Unchained Maladies, Ricky Thomason . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Boondocks. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4
Letters to the Planet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Best of the Valley, DRINK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Liquid Meat, Jeremy L. Anderson. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Best of the Valley, LIFE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Best of the Valley, SHOPPING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10
Adventures of a Yankee Down South,
Karen Bertiger . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11
Some Things Are Just the Best, Steve Moulton. . . . . 11
Adventures with Cream and a Famous Hooker,
Matt Wake. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
The CALENDAR. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13
Underground Sounds, Matt Wake. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Best of the Valley, ENTERTAINMENT. . . . . . . . . . . . .18
Dr. Anarcho’s Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck. . . . 19
Best of the Valley, FOOD. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Listings, . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
News of the Weird . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Music Exchange . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
THE VALLEY PLANET
#012005020205
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
3
The war on “terrier-ism” was joined.
Innocent dogs came under suspicion
because they happened to look like
certain breeds. Everyone’s anal glands
were subject to being expressed simply
because their kennel carrier went through
an airport. Doggone if the whole deal
didn’t get downright inconvenient and
ridiculous.
Once, dogs ruled the world. Things ran
smoothly until evil dogs invented god
dogs. It was a tool of dominion and
domination, a means to keep common
dogs in line and control the wealth of
bones in the world. The creators of the
creators proclaimed theirs to be the
one, true god dog. They barked that all
dogs should be submissive and have no
other god dog before him. The followers
sprayed the word on bushes.
Both sides bowed heads, folded paws
and prayed to their invisible gods to be
delivered from the evil others. And they
prayed for their leaders to be given the
wisdom to grant them victory in their
holy cause. Everyone’s prayers were
answered. The enemy was slaughtered.
Both sides won. Both sides lost. They
destroyed doggy civilization. It might
have been averted, but all of the leaders
were old dogs. No one could teach them
new tricks.
Not-so-smart, common dogs believed
great rewards awaited them if they
followed like sheep dogs and were willing
to kill on command – die if needed. God
dogs got guard dogs, and dogs of war
followed. War dogs were hard to control.
Once the leash was slipped it was hard
to call them back. The dog world soon
splintered like a chicken leg bone.
One pack was promptly muzzled after 600
years or so. They were called Muzzlems.
The Muzzlems were intolerant. They
allowed no dog parties, no howling at the
moon, no dirty-dog dancing, no sniffing
around and no “licker.” Female dogs
wore “barkas” that covered them head to
paws. Police dogs enforced religious rules
decreed by a group of old, bearded collies
known as the Howliban.
real sick puppies in deed, thought and
word. They were “no-fun-damentalists,”
growled about everything, didn’t have
fun and didn’t want other dogs to have
fun, either. They wanted rules more like
those of the Muzzlems.
The Muzzlems and Muttsiahs believed
each other were sick puppies: decadent,
infidel dogs that deserved to die.
Great enmity developed between religious
packs. Each tried to mark the other’s
territory. It’s thought the conflict started
when some sorry dog said something
about another’s mother. Nonetheless,
this period of my invisible friend’s greater
than yours was forever cemented into
enmity during the Crusades. If you don’t
know what the Crusades are, or how they
affect current events, I suggest you read
history books.
So, the packs were enemies, always and
forever. Both god dogs were worshipped
as gods of peace and harmony while
more dogs died fighting in their name
than any other cause. German shepherds
tried to mark the world as their territory
and make everyone say, “Heel, Hitler.”
Valiant efforts by the American and
English bulldogs prevented this. The
French poodles rolled over and played
dead, as usual, then whined until they
were rescued. Finally, the exploding
terrier was produced and sent among the
infidel dogs.
You’d think mankind might have learned
something from the dog-debacle, but it
appears not. He may not be Thurston
Howl the III, but your dog is trying to tell
you something.
Likely, you won’t listen. You’ll roll over
and play dead, just like your masters want
you to. Thinking for themselves is an old
dog’s trick that the new ones can’t learn.
Goddoggit.
Ricky Thomason is a freelance writer from
Huntsville. Email Rick at
[email protected].
Let Ricky know what you think at our forums at
www.valleyplanet.com.
BOONDOCKS
The other major pack believed in a
muttsiah: son of The Top Dog, road kill
for their sins, a holy goat. This pack was
a “kibble” bit more tolerant. The females
wagged tails in public. No need for all
dogs to die for their beliefs. A sacrificial
dog was invented. Certain breeds couldn’t
be spayed or neutered and wouldn’t leave
their pups alone with curs who wore
their collars backwards. These were the
artwork by Debbie West
4
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
Dear Editor and writer of a most superb and needed publication:
 Do you think that this is hypocritical, or just a change of heart? Look at the link on
the front page of the library website. Look on the right-hand side for the mention of
censorship. Maybe they need to put a link to your article in their list.
 Thank you,
An anonymous, concerned reader
VP,
One might also look at the story of David and Bathsheba. 2 Samuel 12. Perhaps
polygamy, adultery and murder are acceptable reading in Huntsville?
There is nothing more fun for us than getting your letters and
emails. PLEASE keep sending them in. We may not print them
all, but we’ll try. Please send your comments to
[email protected]. Thanks, everybody!
One other thought: Since the Bible mentions male on male sex, should it be banned?
Or, should Huntsvillians do as Lot did and offer up their virgin daughters to the people
of Huntsville to entice them away from male on male sex?
Milton,
Just wanted to share with you an email I sent (01/04/05) to the Huntsville-Madison
County Public Library in response to your Letter From the Publisher on 12/23/04.
To the Huntsville-Madison County Public Library:
I am absolutely appalled at recently finding out that the library, one of the essential
pillars of free speech, expression and information for the common man in our
democracy, is having the Valley Planet removed from its premises and will no longer
make it available. Why? Was it providing underground funding to Al-Qaeda? Was
it actively promoting neo-Nazism and the eradication of people of particular ethnic
or cultural descent? What was the major offense that lead to a banning at one of the
democratic fountains of knowledge and thought?
The mention and discussion of homosexuality? Wow. And reportedly this is because
some complaints were received. And due to some narrow minds having the twisted
belief that the rest of America should squeeze into their mold, the process of censorship
begins. You had best seek out the history books within your own edifice and study
them carefully before making this decision, for you will find that many of the greatest
tragedies visited upon this planet by humans began in a similar manner. To think that a
library in the United States of America would allow itself to become one of the tools of
bias, of censorship, of a new form of Nazism, is utterly frightening.
Please do not do this, and fight against those who would limit the rest of us. Be what
you were ordained to be: one of the symbols of freedom in this great country.
Sincerely,
D.W.T.
To Whom It May Concern:
I was very distressed to learn of the library’s intended ban of the Valley Planet
newspaper for its mention of people who maintain alternative lifestyles.  The
Valley Planet is a fun, informative paper that not only entertains, but also serves a
demographic that the Huntsville Chamber of Commerce has long been attempting to
attract to the Huntsville community.
 
Many leaders in the Huntsville/Madison area recognize that attracting a younger
population to the area will help our community to flourish. However, they, like the
Huntsville Library, seem unwilling to accept the viewpoints and attitudes of a younger
generation who can greatly improve and influence this outdated community.
 
If you, the public library, are unwilling to accept different attitudes and viewpoints
shared by millions of people across the globe, you are sending out exactly the wrong
kind of message to the very population we are trying so hard to attract and keep in
Huntsville. By refusing to accept people whom the majority of Western civilization
have acknowledged and embraced, you are sending the message that this community
is stuck in an outdated and backwards era while the rest of the world moves positively
forward.
 
I am a frequent visitor to the Madison branch of the library and have made several
book donations in support of providing such a wonderful benefit to the community.  It
shames me and should you, too, that this library has forgotten the power and positive
influence of free speech.
Most sincerely,
Ms. B.
Dear Valley Planet,
I was at the Huntsville Public Library today reading a copy of VP that someone
had smuggled in. I had read your editorial about library patrons’ complaints about
homosexual content in your newspaper and was browsing through the library’s
magazine section, when I noticed a new magazine HPL must have subscribed to only
recently.
It was the latest issue of “The Advocate.”
K.
I believe the last known Godly begotten figure on this earth was Jesus H. Christ. (The
H. stands for Hallowed, an old family name. (See the Lord’s Prayer: “Hallowed be thy
Name,” from the book “Lamb,” by Christopher Moore) Anyway, he preached tolerance
and forgiveness and to love thy neighbor as you love yourself. A little of that would
go a very long way!
Love
D.
Milton,
I would be remiss if I did not give you my whole-hearted endorsement and support in
the effort to bring Huntsville back to its senses (and Alabama, for that matter). I found
the news of the public library’s position and request as disturbing as the attacks on the
World Trade Center in 2001 – not as devastating – but definitely as disturbing. In the
long run, this kind of fascism will cause far more damage than any military or terrorist
attack on the U.S. It will accelerate the demise of democracy around the entire planet.
To anyone who believes that these words are nihilist and blown out of proportion, I
hope you are right. The other alternative is that the ultra-right wing Christian fanatics
(who are preparing for the end of the world by stocking up on SUVs and sucking the
world’s oil supply down like crack-flavored Mountain Dew), are right. God, I hope
you’re right!
Milton, if there is anything that I can do, please let me know. In the meantime, I will
be thinking of things that I can do myself. I’m with you. Something has got to change.
Period.
Merry Christmas,
F.M.
Jennifer,
This covers a different issue, but I thought you would be interested. After reading
your article on the library’s removal of the Planet’s stand, I was curious and decided
to write the main branch. I asked a simple question about it, intentionally not pointing
to any agenda I may have :-) Their response was clean and simple and sounds legit. I
don’t know if they really don’t distribute other magazines or not though--do you? I still
thought it was interesting to hear what they had to say. . .
Good article by the way.
G.
The director of the Huntsville/Madison County Library System, Ms. Donna Shremser,
has refused to discuss this issue with us. We contacted her so she could present her side
of this story, and she declined our invitation. I have spoken with several other people
who work within the library system, and although they, for the most part, are very
sympathetic towards the Valley Planet, they also refuse to allow us to quote them or
print their comments.
I would like to try and clarify our situation. The main branch of the Huntsville/Madison
County Library originally asked us to remove our paper from the premises. They now
say they will continue to display our paper in the periodical section and will keep
archived copies upstairs but will not allow us to keep a newsstand at the library. They
are also now saying that they have a policy against distribution of publications, not the
publication itself. It is very interesting that other publications are distributed out of the
main branch of our public library, some even charge money for their publication. Yet
we are told they won’t allow any publication to be distributed. Like Jennifer said in her
article, hmmm.
However, the fact remains that I was told by the Assistant Director and Director that
our paper was to be removed from our library immediately. Not because of distribution
policies, but because of the Valley Planet’s racy pictures, content and specifically, for
its mention of homosexuality.
I am very glad that the library continues to display the Valley Planet but am truly
disappointed at the reason I was given for its removal. I am also very disappointed in
the library for refusing to discuss this topic with us.
I would love to get the library’s side of this issue but as of this printing, the library has
refused all of our invitations. Call me.
Milton
THE VALLEY PLANET
#012005020205
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
5
T
he second annual 2004 Valley Planet Best of the Valley Readers Poll is
out. You Bet Shiraz, it is! Counting all your votes was quite a chore. We
expected this year’s vote count to exceed last year’s, but your response
was beyond our wildest expectations. Tons of votes, tons of nominees and
several cleverly orchestrated campaigns made this year’s Best of the Valley
Reader’s Poll far more comprehensive than last year’s.
We are planning to have a Valley Planet Best of the Valley Celebration Party
at Crossroads on St. Patrick’s Day night, this year’s (and last’s) winner of Best
Place to Hear Live Music. Included will be some of the winners from this
year’s poll. We’ll have more detailed information in the next issue, since we
really couldn’t schedule the winners until the votes had all been counted
and the winners were announced.
So, without further ado, the Valley Planet and You Bet Shiraz present the
winners of the 2004 2nd Annual Valley Planet Best of the Valley Reader’s Poll.
Enjoy!
DRINK
KAFFEEKLATSCH 19%
FURNITURE FACTORY 11%
HUMPHREY’S 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN, 3rd BASE, ADRIAN’S, AXIS, BLUE PARROT,
CORNER, CROSSROADS, DOUBLE D LOUNGE, FINNEGAN’S, HARD DOCK, JAZZ FACTORY, NONE, PHILBY’S, RUGGBY’S, SAMMY’S SPORTS BAR & STEAK HOUSE, SAMMY T’S,
SPORTS PAGE, STARFISH, STATION, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, TAVERN UNDER THE SQUARE, THE
BAR WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO MENTION.
SAZIO 21%
HUMPHREY’S 19%
SAMMY’S SPORTS BAR 19%
THE CORNER HAMPTON COVE 13%
KAFFEEKLATSCH 7%
CROSSROADS 7%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ALABAMA ROADHOUSE, BLACKWATER HATTIE’S, COPPERTOP,
GOAL POST, SHAKERS, LAKE IDA, PHILBY’S, STARFISH, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, WAREHOUSE
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN, 3rd
BASE, ADRIAN’S, APPLEBEE’S, BENCHWARMER,
BENNIGAN’S, BLUE PARROT, COPPERTOP, CORNER, FINNEGAN’S, HARD DOCK CAFE, HOGWILD
SALOON, HOPPER’S, JAZZ FACTORY, PAULI’S
CHOPHOUSE, PHILBY’S, PEANUT FACTORY, PORT
OF MADISON, RUGGBY’S, SAMMY T’S, SAMMY’S
SPORTS BAR & STEAKHOUSE, SPORTS PAGE, STATION, TAVERN UNDER THE SQUARE, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S,
VISIONS
Humphrey’s is the hub of Huntsville’s nightlife. Sip drinks on the patio as day fades to night.
Try the inventive bar fare, such as the Southwestern spring roll or cajun quesadilla. Enjoy a pint
of Huntsville’s own Olde Towne Amber in this Memphis-themed bar. Stay for the solid array of
blues and jam acts presented nightly on the patio.
6
TAVERN UNDER THE SQUARE 52%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 721 (THEY’RE
BACK!), BUBBA’S, DECADENCE, LEGEND’S,
JELLO ROOM, TIP TOP, MOLLIE TEAL’S, MR.
C’S, TIA’S, TUNES, WOODY’S
ZESTO’S 11%
VINYL 8%
There once was a back-door bar called the Tavern, and it sat underneath the courthouse
square. A sassy lass named J-Mar ran the bar, along with Miss Vicky and Jeff, the proprietor. The
best thing about the Tavern? It was the local dive – maybe a little gauche for some and not
enough for others. On a given afternoon there might be five patrons: a judge, maybe a lawyer
or two, Spoony, Dave Anderson and maybe me. However, somewhere between twilight and
eleven, the Tavern overflowed with the kids and the after-fivers – everyone from downtown
commuters to the barely legal. And the bands … OK, I’m going to cry. O Tavern, where art
thou?
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
PHILBY’S 11%
RUGGBY’S 8%
CROSSROADS 8%
THE CORNER 7%
KAFFEEKLATSCH 7%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE, 801
FRANKLIN, ADRIAN’S, ANYWHERE, BENCHWARMER, BENNIGAN’S, BLACKWATER HATTIE’S, BLUE PARROT, BOBBY G’S, THE BRICK,
CHILI’S, CORNER HAMPTON COVE,
COPELAND’S, COPPERTOP, DOUBLE D
LOUNGE, DEUTSCHE KUCHE, DUFFY’S,
FINNEGAN’S, FURNITURE FACTORY, GLASSES,
HOOTER’S, HUMPHREY’S, PORT OF MADISON,
ROSIE’S, SAMMY’S SPORTS BAR, T-BIRD’S,
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, THE STATION, THE BAR WE
ARE FORBIDDEN TO MENTION,TIM’S CAJUN
KITCHEN, WINGS
HUMPHREY’S 28%
KAFFEEKLATSCH 15%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN, BLUE
PARROT, BUFFALO’S, CORNER HAMPTON COVE,
CROSSROADS (HUH?), HARD DOCK, HOOTER’S,
OLDE TOWNE COFFEE, ROSIE’S, SAZIO, STATION,
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, WINGS
JAZZ FACTORY 34%
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S 14%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ADRIAN’S, APPLEBEE’S, BLUE PARROT, COPELAND’S,
CORNER, CORNER HAMPTON COVE, CROSSROADS, FURNITURE FACTORY, GREEN
HILLS GRILLE, HUMPHREY’S, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, MARRIOTT, PAULI’S BAR &
GRILL, PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE, PORT OF MADISON, SAZIO, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, WHERE
EVER BLAKE IS WORKING
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 721, 801 FRANKLIN, ADRIAN’S, BENCHWARMER,
BENNIGAN’S, BLACKWATER HATTIE’S, BLUE PARROT, BOBBY G’S, CAT & MOUSE,
CHILI’S, CHIPS & SALSA, CORNER, CORNER HAMPTON COVE, COPPERTOP,
DIAMONDS, FINNEGAN’S, FURNITURE FACTORY, HUMPHREY’S, JAZZ FACTORY,
KAFFEEKLATSCH, OASIS, PEANUT FACTORY, PHILBY’S, ROSIE’S, SAMMY T’S,
SAZIO, SPORTS PAGE, STATION, UPSCALE, WAREHOUSE
801 FRANKLIN 11%
SURIN OF THAILAND 10%
The Jazz Factory gushes 1920’s coolness. The art-deco styled dining room is gorgeous. Reserve
a table for a night of dinner and music you won’t soon forget. The rare seared tuna and filet
are specialties of the house. Upstairs, artisans and professionals hit the billiards tables. Local
and regional jazz, blues and rock acts fill the sultry room with blue notes.
RUGGBY’S 13%
CROSSROADS 10%
More DRINK best of the Valley on page 9
801 FRANKLIN 22%
JAZZ FACTORY 21%
PAULI’S BAR & GRILL 13%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BLUE PARROT, CAFE 113, KAFFEEKLATSCH, CHEF’S
TABLE, CORNER, CORNER HAMPTON COVE, CROSSROADS, FURNITURE FACTORY,
LA STRADA, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, OLIVE GARDEN, PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE, PORT
OF MADISON, PUBLIX, SAZIO, STARFISH, STATION, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, WINE CELLAR
ROSIE’S MEXICAN CANTINA 33%
PEPITO’S 14%
CASA BLANCA 7%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN, ADRIAN’S, CORNER, CORNER
HAMPTON COVE, EL PALACIO, BLUE PARROT, CHILI’S, CHIPS & SALSA,
CROSSROADS, EL CAMINO REAL, FURNITURE FACTORY, GARIBALDI’S,
GUADALAJARA, HOME, LA ALAMEDA, LA CAZUELAS, LONGHORN’S, THE
MARGARITA BALL, HUMPHREY’S, MEXICO, OASIS, STEVE’S LOUNGE, TIA’S, TBIRD’S, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S
THE VALLEY PLANET
#012005020205
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
7
by Jeremy L. Anderson
I
Mistress Cleo
I Ain’t
was standing in the checkout line of
a local mega-supermarket, tired from
wading through throngs of slack-jaws
buying toothpaste for their remaining
teeth, when I came across my favorite
trashy publication: Weekly World News.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve
always wanted to work for a paper like
that. Primarily because you can write the
most untruthful, fabricated crap possible,
and they’ll print it. To get in the door at a
place like that you must have published
ridiculous nonsense somewhere else that
proves you’re WWN material. So to
help me get a shot at the big time, here
are the 2005 psychic predictions by the
honorable Reverend Jeremy “Slim-alicious” Anderson, prognosticator to the
stars:
When pressed about her childhood on
a special episode of “Barbara Walters,”
Oprah Winfrey will make a startling
revelation that she is actually “Bigfoot.”
In a fit of rage, Winfrey’s skin will
split open like a rotten grapefruit, and
she will brutally maul Walters, who
will survive with only a slightly more
noticeable speech impediment. Oprah’s
longtime leech Steadman Graham will
then admit that he also has a secret: He
killed the original Oprah 20 years ago
and gave her skin to “Bigfoot,” with
whom he fell madly in love on a Boy
Scout camping trip. After an outburst of
public acceptance from rabid Oprah fans,
the couple will reveal that Steadman is
pregnant with Oprah’s miracle yeti baby.
President Bush will approve legislation
giving the news media unrestricted
access to government documents. Despite
extensive investigation of documents
regarding Iraq, the most damning thing
the media will find is proof that the
government has known of space alien
existence since the famous spaceship
crash in Roswell, New Mexico. More
damning will be the revelation that
CBS anchor Dan Rather was actually
at the Roswell crash and is dying of
rectal cancer caused by radiation from
a confiscated alien reactor. When asked
about the use of the alien power source
all these years, President Bush will admit
that it is being used to keep Dick Clark
from aging.
The two survivors of the Roswell crash,
aliens named Blurgh and Vleep, will be
found dead after a very public bar fight
with Ben Affleck. Witnesses will attribute
the fight to Blurgh’s drunken statement,
“Even Gungle, the hive mind of Raktar
7, could pick a better freaking movie than
‘Surviving Christmas’.” Affleck will be
released from jail after his lawyers prove
that killing aliens doesn’t actually count
as murder. He will then be engaged to
actress Christina Applegate – the only
remaining co-star he hasn’t courted. In
a shocking turn, Applegate will leave
8
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
Affleck for lesbian icon Ellen Degeneres,
proving once again that Ben Affleck is
the primary source of homosexuality in
the United States. Matt Damon will later
confirm this theory, stating that he only
escaped Affleck’s gay mind rays because
of his ninjitsu training.
Upon learning the death of the Roswell
aliens, HBO will buy the rights for the
pay-per-view version of the live autopsy,
which will be followed by an all-alien
episode of “Taxicab Confessions.”
Geneticists will discover that the only
remaining Blurgh and Vleep descendents
are none other than Mary Kate and Ashley
Olsen. They will also discover that the
Olsens are clones and not sisters. Turning
lemons into lemonade, the Olsen clones
will create an all new market for lesbian,
alien clone pornography in which Mary
Kate and Ashley lick each other while
washed up actors watch. Volume one
of “The I Scream Clones” will feature
“Saved By The Bell’s,” Screech, aka
Dustin Diamond.
In a freak accident at a celebrity golf
tournament, O. J. Simpson will slice a
ball into the head of svelte uber-whore
Paris Hilton, killing her instantly. During
a search of the Simpson guest house, the
FBI will discover a well-fed Osama Bin
Laden hiding behind a fake wall, watching
the aforementioned Olsen clone porno.
After a lengthy investigation, authorities
will discover that Bin Laden has been
receiving food from Alec Baldwin,
Barbra Streisand, Matt Damon, Gwyneth
Paltrow and Canadian harpy Celine
Dion. President Bush will sentence the
five celebrities to death, with executions
to take place at the 2006 Super Bowl.
During the halftime show, Damon will
escape using his excellent nunchuk skills
and the assistance of his ninja master, the
Reverend Jesse Jackson.
After intense, zero-gravity training
sessions with alien ambassador Grepthar
Mongwak and the addition of a new
quarterback (Blurgh’s cousin Ray-Ray
Jenkins), the New Orleans Saints will
finally get their passing game and run
defense together. They will win the 2006
Super Bowl, despite the stabbing injury
of Coach Jim Haslett during Damon’s
halftime escape. Fortunately, Dick Clark
will be in the audience to heal Haslett
(with the alien space reactor) in time for
the Saints to finish the game. Damon will
later be apprehended during the taping
of Oprah Winfrey’s clone pornography
special with the Olsen clones, whose
featured video will star … that’s right,
you guessed it … Ben Affleck.
Jeremy Anderson predicts you’re about to read an
email address. Email him at
[email protected]
THE VALLEY PLANET
DRINK
Continued from page 7
THE CORNER 25%
RUGGBY’S 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE, APPLEBEE’S, BENCHWARMER, BLACKWATER
HATTIE’S, BLUE PARROT, BOBBY G’S, BUFFALO’S, CHIPS & SALSA, COPPERTOP, CORNER
HAMPTON COVE, CROSSROADS, DIAMONDS, FINNEGAN’S, HEIDI’S, GOALPOST, KAFFEEKLATSCH, MOODY MONDAY’S, O’CHARLEY’S, PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE, PEANUT FACTORY,
PHILBY’S, PORT OF MADISON, SAMMY T’S, SAZIO, SPORTS PAGE, STATION, T-BIRD’S, T.G.I.
FRIDAY’S, THE BAR WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO MENTION, WEST END GRILL
THIRD BASE 15%
SPORTS PAGE 14%
SAMMY’S SPORTS BAR 14%
BENCHWARMER 13%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BLACKWATER HATTIE’S, BOBBY G’S, CROSSROADS, DIAMONDS,
END ZONE, HOOTERS, RUGGBY’S, SAMMY T’S, STATION, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, THE BAR WE ARE
FORBIDDEN TO MENTION, TIME OUT, WAREHOUSE, WINGS
JAZZ FACTORY 17%
HUMPHREY’S 12%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE,
801 FRANKLIN, CORNER, CORNER
HAMPTON COVE, CROSSROADS,
FINNEGAN’S, GREEN HILLS GRILLE,
HICKORY HOUSE, KAFFEEKLATSCH,
LA STRADA, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL,
LOGAN’S, PAULI’S BAR & GRILL,
PHILBY’S, PORT OF MADISON,
RUGGBY’S, SAMMY T’S, SAMMY’S
SPORTS BAR, SAZIO, STARFISH,
STATION, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, VISIONS,
WAREHOUSE
THE VALLEY PLANET
SAMMY T’S 24%
721 12%
HUMPHREY’S 8%
STATION 8%
CROSSROADS 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ADRIAN’S,
ALABAMA ROADHOUSE, AT HOME
NAKED, BENCHWARMER,THE SHACK,
FURNITURE FACTORY, HARD DOCK,
HOG WILD SALOON, HOPPER’S, JAZZ
FACTORY, THE MARGARITA BALL,
NOWHERE, OZZ, DIXIE ROUND-UP,
UPSCALE, VINYL, VISIONS
#012005020205
VISIONS 17% SAMMY T’S 33%
CROSSROADS 11%
HUMPHREY’S 11%
SPORTS PAGE 8%
THE SHACK 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE
721, 801 FRANKLIN, ADRIAN’S, CHIPS
& SALSA, CORNER, CORNER HAMPTON
COVE, FANTASIA, FURNITURE FACTORY,
JAZZ FACTORY, KAFFEEKLATSCH, MR
C’S TAVERN, OZZ, PHILBY’S, RUGGBY’S,
SAMMY T’S, SPORTS ZONE, T.G.I.
FRIDAY’S, STATION, VINYL
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
HUMPHREY’S 32%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 721,
CORNER, CROSSROADS, HOPPER’S,
MAGNOLIA, PHILBY’S, RONNIE’S,
STAR MARKET, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S,
STATION, UPSCALE, VINYL, VISIONS
9
LIFE
5 POINTS 47%
OLDE TOWNE 12%
MONTE SANO 6%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BINFORD
COURT, BLOSSOMWOOD, CEDAR
HOLLOW, ENGLISH VILLAGE,
HAMPTON COVE, HENSON HILLS,
LEDGES, LOGAN, LYNN’S CROSSING,
SHERWOOD FORREST, SULTAN PLACE,
TWICKENHAM
COMMENTS FROM THE
VOTERS!
BIG SPRINGS 34%
MONTE SANO 30%
BRAHAM SPRINGS 6%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES:
FAYETTEVILLE, GREEN MOUNTAIN,
UAH DUCK POND, LOGAN, GREEN
WAY, DUBLIN PARK, WELLMAN, LAND
TRUST
MONTE SANO 67%
LAND TRUST TRAILS 11%
SOUTH CUMBERLAND 7%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: GREEN
MOUNTAIN, TOO OUT OF SHAPE TO
HIKE, WADE MOUNTAIN, WALLS OF
JERICHO
Translated “Mountain of Health,” Monte Sano provides the perfect backdrop to the
best outdoor exercise and recreation in the Valley. Check out diverse wildlife along
Monte Sano’s extensive biking and hiking trails. The mountain is also home to a lodge,
campgrounds and cabins – all surrounded by majestic peaks and pines. Adjacent to
Huntsville city limits, Monte Sano State Park has been in existence since 1935. The park’s
2,140 acres, combined with the history of the Civilian Conservation Corps and nearby
Burritt Museum, make it a local treasure for outdoor enthusiasts.
SHOPPING
The BP in 5 Points is a Mecca of culture, arts and convenience.
You can purchase gas, and peruse one of the best wine selections
in town. Flyers on the outside walls beckon young punk rockers
to shows and poets to read their musings. There’s also the
occasional lost pet that needs to find its owner. Clear, twinkle
lights adorn the downtown Huntsville quick-stop hot spot, and
the cars are always coming and going. However busy, the guys
inside are nice as pie. And, I think their credit card machine is
set to warp speed, because I’ve never had to wait more than five
minutes to pay — for anything.
NONE SUCH 18% HUNTSVILLE ART
SIGNATURE GALLERY 14%
LAWREN’S 13% LEAGUE 36%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: AL
CHRISTOPHER, CALLIE ALLIE’S, COOL
STUFF, DETAILS, HMA GIFT SHOP,
HUNTSVILLE ART LEAGUE, INTERIOR
MARKETPLACE, JAN’S HALLMARK,
MULBERRY STREET STREET, NOONE’S,
PAULI’S GOURMET FOODS & WINE,
RED DOOR INTERIORS, SOAP DISH,
SPENCER’S, SYAH’S, WINE CELLAR,
ZERO GRAVITY
10
MERIDIAN ARTS 20%
801 FRANKLIN 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 5 POINTS
GALLERY, FLYING MONKEY, HERITAGE
INTERIORS, MADISON SQUARE, NONE
SUCH, SHANE YOUNG GALLERY,
SIGNATURE GALLERY, UAH STUDENT
GALLERY
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
BEST REASON TO LIVE
HERE:
Cheap place to go to school.
Variety.
Clean, well-educated town.
Quiet, peaceful & pretty.
My family & nature.
Because you dig it.
Good food, lots of fun, safe places
to raise kids.
I am from the black belt, have you
seen the black belt?
I didn’t know there was one.
Nicole at the Furniture Factory.
BEST REASON TO READ
THE BEST PUBLICATION IN
THE TENNESSEE VALLEY:
Liquid Meat.
Loving Matt Wake’s crap.
Because it is published by
people and written by people
who are genuinely concerned
about making Huntsville a more
progressive community. Amen.
Jennifer Daniel.
Rick.
Uncle Flabby (God rest his soul).
Great information.
What is really going on.
Has that new moped smell.
Party of One.
Diverse information.
Yankees down south.
Open-minded.
Local music coverage.
THE CALENDAR!
Dr. A.
GENERAL COMMENTS:
Live it, love it.
Huntsville is DOA.
I moved here from California way
back in 1985 and I wouldn’t go
back now for anything! Huntsville
is so alive with activity and there
is always something for you to do.
Life sucks in Huntsville compared
to most cities. It doesn’t have to
be that way. I suspect courage and
character have something to do
with it. Don’t be afraid.
Huntsville is potentially a
beautiful town. Let’s realize that
potential!
THANK YOU!
THE VALLEY PLANET
Some Things
Are Just the Best
Adventures of a
Yankee Down South
by Karen Bertiger
by Steve Moulton
T
“No, no!” she shouted. “In the potty or
no jelly beans. No jelly beans! Karen, I
have to … ”
Click.
This represents the end of most
conversations with my best friend, who
has a two-and-a half year-old named
Zach. She is attempting to inspire her
young son, who received his first pair
of Big Boy underpants for Christmas,
to use the toilet in exchange for jelly
beans. This seems like a very reasonable
bartering system to me. I tend to agree
with a lot of Zach’s principles.
However, having a lot in common with a
two-year-old is a pretty good indication
that I am not ready to have children of
my own. I am too selfish. I would hoard
all the jelly beans for myself. After all, I
manage to go pee-pee in the potty every
time, so who deserves those jelly beans
more than me? But you don’t just lose
jelly beans when you raise a child. You
lose everything. Time, perspective and
most importantly, your mind. I need to
protect what is left of my sanity, which
is why I have remained childless so far.
For starters, I can’t afford the time it
would take to have a kid. I’m too busy
lying on the couch doing nothing. I need
the option to do nothing so that I will
have the reserve energy ready should
I be called upon to do something.
Children, I have observed, are not
very tolerant of this approach to life.
From what I understand they require
enormous amounts of attention, and
most of it centers on disgusting liquids
dribbling out of their various orifices.
Mopping up another person’s body goo
is not high on my list of ways to spend
my time, and frankly, I can’t understand
why other people freely elect to do so.
I watched a stream of snot ooze directly
from Zach into his father’s mouth while
being tossed around in the air – a game
he seems very fond of despite the fact
that it often results in projectile oatmeal
vomit. And Zach’s father just laughed
and wiped it away. These people, who
were previously clean, presentable
adults, are brainwashed by their own
infants into becoming total slobs. To
me it was jaw-dropping, disgusting.
I thought Zach’s father shared my
sentiment. Before he had kids, I’m
certain he would have. Now he finds
THE VALLEY PLANET
his son’s inability to keep body liquids
where they belong utterly charming.
So here we have a former fullyfunctioning individual reduced to ratty
hair and sweat pants, covered in oatmeal
barf and baby snot. It’s understandable
that the next loss involves most of the
five senses. I see it at the grocery store
all the time. While shrieking at a decibel
that has car alarms going off within a
five-mile radius, a three-year-old is
running up and down the store aisles
in a swerving pattern that manages
to block grocery cart traffic in either
direction. The mother, with a pleasant
expression on her face, distracts herself
by reading cereal box ingredients and
whistling softly. The woman has clearly
lost the ability to hear, and her sight
has also grown hazy. The only sense
that seems completely undisturbed, in
fact heightened, is her sense of smell.
Despite being totally oblivious of her
child wreaking havoc on dozens of
innocent shoppers, she will detect, from
across the store and in the middle of a
conversation with the butcher, that her
child has done a “poopy.”
he powers that be at the Planet
wanted my column to represent
the “Best of the Valley” theme.
So here it goes. When I think of the best
in the sports world I think of the “Steel
Curtain,” the “Bronx Bombers” and
“Larry’s Boys” – better known as the
‘70s Pittsburgh Steelers, the‘20s New
York Yankees and the mid ‘80s Boston
Celtics.
These days, the New England Patriots
and Atlanta Falcon Mike Vick come to
mind for the best. It’s getting harder to
measure who’s best because of today’s
diversity in sports, but it’s a task I’m
willing to undertake. If I don’t tell you
who’s the best, then who will? The last
thing Valley Planet wants is a group of
uneducated sports fans.
Who is the best of the best? Well, as we
know from Tom Cruise in “Top Gun,”
it’s usually hanging on a wall with Val
Kilmer’s name on it. Cruise and Kilmer
aside, I present the best of the best in the
sports world and beyond:
Sports Movie: “Caddy Shack”
Quarterback in the State of Alabama:
Jason Campbell
NFL Running Back Today: Shaun
Alexander
Sports Play Phrase: flea flicker
Athlete Endorsement: Mean Joe Green
and Coca-Cola
NFL Number One Draft Pick: 1983
Stanford quarterback John Elway to
Baltimore
Woman 40 and Over: Teri Hatcher
Sports Talk Show: ESPN 1400’s “The
Pressbox” weekdays from 3-6 p.m.
College Football Player of All Time:
Illinois halfback Red Grange
Professional Athlete I’ve Ever Met:
Mickey Mantle
Place for Guys to be Guys: Dreamland
Special Teams Player: Buffalo Bills’
Steve Tasker
Sports Nickname: The Fighting Camels
(Campbell)
Sports Movie Quote: “OK guys, show
us what you’ve got” – Paul Newman,
“Slap Shot”
Sports Play-by-Play Announcer:
Tennessee Titans’ Mike Keith
NBA Shooter: Los Angeles Laker Jerry
West
Player Who Had the Best 2004: Payton
Manning with $99 million and the NFL
touchdown record
Sports Column: Well, duh. You’re
reading it, silly.
Coach in the State of Alabama: Troy
Trojans’ Larry Blakeney
College Football Player of the Modern
Era: Auburn’s Bo Jackson
Player to Hate: San Francisco’s Barry
“Roids” Bonds
Boss in Sports: New York Yankees’
George Steinbrenner
Meal With a Game: beer and hot wings
Coach to Root for: UAH’s Lenny Acuff
Sports Invention Ever: picture-inpicture TV
Way to End This Column: Think of the
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders
Steve Moulton hosts The Pressbox every
weekday afternoon from 3 to 5 p.m. on
ESPN 1400 in Decatur, Ala. You can email
him at [email protected].
My final and most important point is
that I do not want to lose my mind.
That distracted I’m not really here; I’m
somewhere nice in my head expression
that you see so often on parents of
young children is frighteningly similar
to the blank, contented stare of a mental
ward patient. I do not want to become a
person whose every nerve is braced for
a “poopy” diaper. I do not want to be
found wandering the streets, confused
and unable to find my own mailbox
because I have not slept in four months.
I want to be able to remember the
names of my friends when they call. I
want to be able to talk to them in full,
comprehendible sentences.
ENTERTAINMENT
So I don’t think kids are right for me,
not right now. Although if someone
offered me some jelly beans I might
reconsider my position.
Karen Bertiger is a
transplanted New Yorker in
a Huntsville state of mind.
Email Karen at
karen.bertiger@valleypla
net.com
VIPERS 33%
MADISON BOWLING 16%
AMF PARKWAY LANES 13%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: MONARCH, PIN
PALACE, FMA BOWLING
#012005020205
HAVOC 25%
STARS 23%
PLAMOR LANES 49%
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: A&M BULLDOGS, CHANNEL CATS, FLIGHT, HAZEL
GREEN TROJANS, OTTERS, RIVER CITY
KARATE, UAH CHARGERS
11
by Matt Wake
Billy with Commander Cody and The Lost Planet Airmen. Berkely, California 1969
SHOPPING
WINE CELLAR 30%
PAULI’S 24%
GREAT SPIRITS 22%
BP, COSTCO, MARKET PLACE, SPIRITS
PLUS, WHITESBURG, WINDMILL
BEVERAGES, WINE MARKET
Ginger Baker) up there with all this
wonderful stuff going on. Yeah, watching
Cream from the side of the stage was
pretty cool.”
Billy C. Farlow has seen the weirdness
inside the goldmine. As front man
for Commander Cody, a precursor to
alternative country, he tasted fame and
many other delicious things. Cody was
part of the late ‘60s and early ‘70s Bay
Area circuit. They played gigs with The
Doors, “The Airplane” and The Grateful
Dead. They even scored a Top 10 hit with
“Hot Rod Lincoln.” If you think country
rock begins and ends with Gram Parsons,
check out Lost In The Ozone.
SUNBURST RECORDS 23%
Many of Farlow’s wildest encounters
occurred while coming of age in mid
‘60s Detroit. He hung out with nine-string
guitarist “Big Joe” Williams, author of the
classic “Baby Please Don’t Go.” He did
pickup gigs with the previously mentioned
Iggy Pop. He played a particularly surreal
show with a creole contortionist and
John Lee Hooker, eventually becoming
pals with the King of Boogie. On New
Year’s Eve in 1967 Farlow’s band, Billy
C. and the Sunshine, opened for Cream at
Detroit’s mythical Grande Ballroom.
Farlow appears January 21st at the
Kaffeeklatsch. He blows a mean harp and
has a knack for writing mad, bad blues. The
two-piece show features the omnipresent
“Microwave” Dave Gallagher on guitar.
Farlow’s latest record, Good Whiskey,
was recorded with guitarist Bleu Jackson
and Nashville based producer Fred James.
For further listening, check out Farlow’s
2002 release, Rockabilly Blues. It’s a
scorching set recorded with drummer
D.J. Fontanta (Elvis Presley), bassist Joe
Mauldin (Buddy Holly) and influential
guitarist Lonnie Mack.
FRET SHOP 15%
STRINGS & BRASS 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: A B
STEPHENS, BEST BUY, CD EXCHANGE,
ROBBIN’S MUSIC, SAM GOODY’S, T
SHEPARD’S
PLEASURES 48%
NAUGHTY & SPICE 11%
ADULT EMPORIUM 7%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: INTERIOR MARKETPLACE, VIDEO OASIS, RED LIGHT
VIDEO, 5 POINTS BEVERAGES
12
“I
ggy Pop was a damn solid blues
drummer when I first met him,”
the voice boomed through my
phone. “Then he went crazy.”
Good Whiskey and Rockabilly Blues by
Billy C. Farlow are available at Sunburst
Records (the Valley’s only indie audio
outlet) on Jordan Lane in Huntsville.
Matt Wake was a freelance writer and musician
in Huntsville, but now he works here. Email your
comments to Matt at [email protected].
“Oh, man,” Farlow laughed. “Amazing
time … Half the audience was on acid
and the other half was almost there. They
had dancing girls. That was the time of
the psychedelic light shows. It was the
three of them (Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce,
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
Calendar of Events
January 20 through February 5 & beyond
MUSIC
THURSDAY, JANUARY 20
11TH FRAME BAR AND GRILL Karaoke
3RD BASE Edgar - Acoustic & Percussion Duo
(after college football)
ADRIAN’S, Guntersville Live Music - TBA
AMERICAN LEGION #237 HDK Karaoke Contest!
BENCHWARMER Thong Thursdays! DJ/Dance Get in free until 10pm if you show your thong or
have a UAH or Calhoun ID.
BENCHWARMER TOO Karaoke
BOBBY G’s, Henderson Rd Tunedoctors Karaoke
BOBBY G’s, Mem. Pkwy Karaoke with Carole
CLUB OZZ “The Baldest Bitch” Talent show. $5.00
cover starting at 9p.m. Dance floor opens at 9pm
talent show starts at 11pm. If you feel you have
a talent, come by and show it. Cash Prize for 1st
Place. Sign up at the front counter from 6pm till
10pm. Hours of operation are from 6pm till 2am.
DUGOUT SPORTS BAR, Decatur Karaoke
GOAL POST King Karaoke 7 pm
HALFTIME BAR & GRILL Karaoke with Anita Lynn
Palmer. Come and sing on the biggest Karaoke
stage in the Huntsville/Madison area! 8 pm
HOPPER’S, Holiday Inn Rudy Mockabee and the
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Roosevelt Franklin: We are gonna
rock tonight! One really fun thing to do with this
band is to try and stump them! Come on, it’ll be
a blast!
JAZZ FACTORY Crackerjacks
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Andy Johnson and Co.
ROCKABILLY’S Open Mic with Freddie Faust
SAMMY T’S Ladies Night
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE, Guntersville Karaoke
w/Sandy. 8 pm
SPORTS PAGE 5ive O’Clock Charlie
TWILIGHT ZONE, Guntersville Karaoke with D.W.
$50 Contest
THE CORNER Donnie Cox - Great Mix of Classic
Rock, Blues & Alternative
THE CROSSROADS Foggy Bottom
THE DOCKS, Scottsboro Trey & Kenny
THE WAREHOUSE Amateur Poker Night
FRIDAY, JANUARY 21
11th FRAME BAR Karaoke
BENCHWARMER Bama Babes
BLUE PARROT John and Ashley
THE VALLEY PLANET
BOBBY G’s, Mem. Pkwy Karaoke
CLUB OZZ “Diva’s Of Ozz” Drag Show starting at
11pm with Tierra Stone, Patience, Amanda Black
and with special cameos. Bar opens at 6 p.m.,
open dance floor from 9pm till 11pm then open
dance floor after Drag Show till 2a.m. $5.00 cover
charge starting at 9 pm
ESQUIRE 2000 HDK Karaoke Contest!
FINNEGAN’S PUB Nancy Maria-Luce at the piano
FURNITURE FACTORY The Scratch Band
GOAL POST Bob Mills and the Backfield in Motion
GREEN DOOR BOOKS Barry Kay 6-8:30
HARD DOCK CAFÉ, Decatur Big Daddy Kingfish
HOPPER’s, Holiday Inn Rudy Mockabee and the
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Toy Shop: Huntsville’s greatest
band on Huntsville’s funnest patio! There’s no way
around having a good time tonight!
JAZZ FACTORY Rocket Scientists and The Swing
Shift
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Microwave Dave and
Billy C. Farlow Duo
LICK SKILLET MUSIC BARN, Hazel Green
Country Gold Band: Music at 7pm. $6. Now serving
homemade pizzas,too!
MARTINI’S, Ramada Karaoke
MOODY MONDAYS HDK Karaoke Contest!
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN Flophouse Regulars
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Hashbrown
ROCKABILLY’S The Blues Bombers - Brandon &
Nick
SAMMY T’s Splendid Chaos
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE, Guntersville Early-Bird
Karaoke with Sue at 6. Karaoke w/Sandy, 9 pm
SIDEPOCKET LOUNGE Kozmic Mama
SPORTS PAGE Live Music - TBA
THE CORNER Dave Anderson ˆ Electric & Acoustic,
Rock, Alternative & Originals
THE CORNER, Hampton Cove Weinstock - Neeve
& Dave strum light Rock, Alternative & Folk
THE CROSSROADS Shawn Mullins
THE DOCKS, Scottsboro Live Music TBA
THE END ZONE T.A. Miller, Pat & Curtis. 8 pm
TABU Miss Behaving
TWILIGHT ZONE, Guntersville DJ dance music
by Rodney Pate
Continued on Page 14
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VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
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MUSIC
Continued From Page 13
SATURDAY, JANUARY 22
11th FRAME BAR Karaoke TBA
BENCHWARMER Southern Drawl
BENCHWARMER TOO Blame Johnny
BLUE PARROT Jon and Ashley
CLUB OZZ “Toxic Saturdays” from 9pm till 2am,
hosted by Miss K and special guest DJ’s. Bringing
you the latest sounds in dance and electronica.
Register ( with paid admission) to win a vacation
package to one of 4 hot destinations. Hours of
operation are from 4pm till 2am. $5.00 cover
starting at 9pm
TBA
HARD DOCK CAFÉ, Decatur Push
Music Company
Hot Spot Heavy Metal: Absolute Zero and four
more bands to follow
HUMPHREY’S Decade: Ben Walker has a new
band, and it’s pretty good. Come check it out. We’ll
see where it takes us. OK? Cool.
JAZZ FACTORY Mambo Gris Gris and the Charlie
Lyle Jazz Quintet
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Marsha Morgan
LICK SKILLET MUSIC BARN, Hazel Green James
Self and the Stonebreaker Bros Country Band:
Music at 7pm $6. Now serving homemade pizzas!
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN Tom Cremeens
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Mike Roberts
ROCKABILLY’S The Blues Bombers Brandon &
Nick
SAMMY T’s Trotline
w/Sandy. 8 pm
THE CORNER Lisa Malone & Donnie Cox Acoustical Duo, Variety Rock & Blues
THE CORNER, Hampton Cove David Anderson
- Voted #1 Musician by Valley Planet plays
THE CROSSROADS Guy Smiley Blues Exchange
THE DOCKS, Scottsboro Live Music TBA
TWILIGHT ZONE, Guntersville Short Bus
TERRY’S PIZZA, N Pkwy HDK Karaoke Contest!
HUMPHREY’S Jim Cavender & Bobby McDonald:
Guitar and Sax will melt together this evening to
bring you to your knees! They’ll do it. I’ve seen
it. It’s awesome. See ya!
JAZZ FACTORY Dave McConnell
SPORTS PAGE Donnie Cox
THE CORNER Scott Morgan - Acoustic Rock - ‘60s
to current.
THE CROSSROADS Toy Shop
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY26
3RD BASE GRILL 5ive O’Clock Charlie
BENCHWARMER Amateur Poker Night, followed
by DJ Dave
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S The Ben Walker Duo: Ben Walker
and his buddy sling the tunes out faster than you
can name ‘em! Don’t try to keep up — just get up
and dance!
JAZZ FACTORY Microwave Dave
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Tommy Womack
MARTINI’S, Ramada, Madison Tunedoctor’s
Karaoke
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN Karaoke
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Scott Morgan
SPORTS PAGE Pla’ Station
T-BIRD’S CAFÉ Live Entertainment
SUNDAY, JANUARY 23
2003
BENCHWARMER Freestyle Faceoff
BENCHWARMER TOO Karaoke & Foxy Lady
Contest
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL The Crawlers
GOAL POST King Karaoke 7 p.m.
HOPPER’s, Holiday Inn Karaoke
JAZZ FACTORY Jazz Jam Session
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Blues Jam - 15 years
strong!
ROCKABILLY’S Biker Sunday! Live Music
SPORTS PAGE Robby Hutto
THE CORNER Sunday Evening Jam Session
hosted by Scott Morgan
THE CROSSROADS Movie Night (6pm)
VON BRAUN CENTER Alison Krauss and Union
Station
MONDAY, JANUARY 24
11TH FRAME BAR AND GRILL Karaoke
801 FRANKLIN 5:01 at 801
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Microwave Dave (Solo!) Atomic,
electric, nuclear-powered, fantastic, incredible …
how does he do it ? Come see for yourself.
Hmmm ...
JAZZ FACTORY Marjorie Loveday
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Acoustic showcase
open mic hosted by Greg Rowell
PEANUT FACTORY HDK Karaoke Contest!
w/Sue. 6 pm
THE CORNER Dave Anderson – Voted Best
Musician by Valley Planet readers, plays Electric &
Acoustic, Rock, Alternative & Originals
THE CROSSROADS Open Mic
TUESDAY, JANUARY 25
BENCHWARMER Karaoke, Pool & Darts
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL HDK Karaoke Contest!
Music Company
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VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
THE CORNER Marjorie Loveday Keyboard &
Acoustic Rock and Folk
THE CROSSROADS Dave Anderson
WAREHOUSE BAR & BILLIARDS DJ - Dance
THURSDAY, JANUARY 27
3rd BASE GRILL Edgar - Acoustic & Percussion
Duo (after college football)
THE VALLEY PLANET
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Clay Swafford Group: This is
probably the best blues, boogie-woogie & rock ‘n’
roll band out of Birmingham. Don’t miss it!
JAZZ FACTORY Toy Shop
MARTINI’S, Ramada Now live music once a
month: TBA
#012005020205
SAMMY T’s Ladies Night!
w/Sandy. 8 pm
THE CORNER Jim Cavender - Rock, Blues and
something in-between
THE CROSSROADS Downright
$50 Contest
THE WAREHOUSE Amateur Poker Night
FRIDAY, JANUARY 28
11th FRAME BAR Karaoke Contest Finals
801 FRANKLIN Dave McConnell
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
BENCHWARMER Reddletters
BLUE PARROT, Guntersville Mark and Harold
BOBBY G’s, Henderson Rd Peacemaker
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL Live Music TBA
FURNITURE FACTORY Reddletters
GREEN DOOR BOOKS Barry Kay 6-8:30
HARD DOCK CAFÉ, Decatur Iguana Party
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Meteorite: From cover to cover, one
of the best bands around. Everythingfrom Outkast
to The Beatles. We’ll see you on The Patio!
JAZZ FACTORY Justin Thompson and The Swing
Shift
15
MUSIC
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Russell Gulley Band
with Johnny Neel of Allman Brothers and Govt
Mule.
Country Gold Band: Music at 7pm. $6. Now serving
homemade pizzas!
MARTINI’S, Ramada, Madison Tunedoctor’s
Karaoke
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN 5 O’ Clock Charlie
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Donnie Cox
ROCKABILLY’S The Blues Bombers - Brandon & Nick
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE, Guntersville Early-Bird
Karaoke with Sue at 6. Karaoke w/Sandy, 9 pm
SPORTS PAGE Live Music TBA
THE CORNER Dave Anderson Electric & Acoustic,
THE CORNER, Hampton Cove Jim Cavender
- Rock, Blues and something really good inbetween
THE DOCKS, Scottsboro Live Music - TBA
THE STATION, Madison The Fabulous Showband
TWILIGHT ZONE, Guntersville Dj music by Godchild
SATURDAY, JANUARY 29
BENCHWARMER Haven
BENCHWARMER, TOO The Land
BLUE PARROT, Guntersville Mark and Harold
BOBBY G’s, Henderson Rd Peacemaker
hosted by Miss K and special guest DJ’s. Bringing
starting at 9pm
FLYING MONKEY Eyes Around $5 8pm
HARD DOCK CAFÉ, Decatur YT&T
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S The Cast: Wow! Birmingham
seems to just be creeping right on up here into
Huntsville’s music scene. I wonder what that’s all
about? Hmmm ...
JAZZ FACTORY Jerry Mcallister and the Charlie
Lyle Jazz Quintet
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Ricky Ray & Saffire
Jackson
month: TBA
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN Bama Babes
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE 5 O’ Clock Charlie
ROCKABILLY’S The Blues Bombers - Brandon & Nick
SAMMY T’s Chippendale’s 7 pm and U.S. after!
w/Sandy. 8 pm
SPORTS PAGE Black Label “Voted by Valley
Planet readers as one of the top three Rock
Bands of 2003, BLACK LABEL is a high octane rock
powerhouse performing your favorite radio rock
as well as their own brand of hard rockin’
originals. Visit BLACK-LABEL.com for more.”
THE CORNER Jim Cavender - Rock, Blues and
something in-between
THE CORNER, Hampton Cove Marge Loveday
- Keyboard & Acoustic Rock and Folk
THE CROSSROADS Seepeoples
THE DOCKS, Scottsboro Live Music - TBA
THE STATION Push
$50 Contest
THE WAREHOUSE Live Music TBA
SUNDAY, JANUARY 30
BENCHWARMER Freestyle Faceoff
BENCHWARMER TOO Karaoke & Foxy Lady
Contest
and with special cameos. Bar opens at 4p.m.,
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL The Crawlers
GOAL POST King Karaoke 7 p.m.
Music Company
JAZZ FACTORY Jazz Jam Session
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Blues Jam - 15 years
strong!
ROCKABILLY’S Biker Sunday! Live Music
SPORTS PAGE Robby Hutto
THE CORNER Sunday Evening Jam Session
hosted by Scott Morgan
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MONDAY,JANUARY 31
801 FRANKLIN 5:01 at 801
AMERICAN LEGION #237 HDK Karaoke Cotest!
DUGOUT SPORTS BAR, Decatur Live music - TBA
HOPPER’s, Holiday Inn Karaoke
HUMPHREY’S Jay Wilson: Relax this Monday with
Jay’s endless variety of covers and originals on
piano and guitar. You’ll feel better.
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Acoustic showcase
open mic hosted by Greg Rowell
month: TBA
PEANUT FACTORY HDK Karaoke Contest!
w/Sue. 6 pm
THE CORNER Dave Anderson – Voted Best
Musician by Valley Planet readers, plays Electric &
Acoustic, Rock, Alternative & Originals
THE CROSSROADS Open Mic
TWILIGHT ZONE, Guntersville Karaoke with
Rodney
TUESDAY,FEBRUARY1
BENCHWARMER Karaoke, Pool & Darts
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL HDK Karaoke Contest!
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Motor City Josh! Yes! We are going
to blow the roof off of Humphrey’s tonight! Have
you seen Motor City Josh? What a fun time! See
you there!
month: TBA
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE, Guntersville Jam
Session. 7 pm
SPORTS PAGE Donnie Cox
THE CORNER Irish Night! Good fortune begins
at 8 pm
THE CROSSROADS Toy Shop
THE STATION, Madison Live Music TBA. Karaoke
room open every night!
WEDNESDAY,FEBRUAR Y 2
3RD BASE GRILL 5ive O’Clock Charlie
Audio Observations by Matt Wake
Amphitheater of Pain (!)
Water parks. Shopping centers. Hotels. This sleepy list of city projects needs an
exclamation point. Let’s use what God’s given us and build a proper amphitheater
before sinking more dough into G-rated entertainment complexes. The Tennessee
Valley has a gorgeous spring, summer and fall, and with an amphitheater, world-class
acts are soon to be in town. Buzz bands, classic rockers, country crooners and festivals
all hit the “sheds.” We could appease hippies, rednecks and soccer moms in one fell
swoop. And as far as music venues go, amphitheaters are relatively uncostly structures.
Get some concrete, a thousand plastic chairs, stage and sound, and a few turnstiles.
Boy, you’ve got yourself an amphitheater. More artists than you could shake a syringe
at play Nashville’s Starwood, Atlanta’s Hi-Fi Buys and Birmingham’s Oak Mountain
every year. If we dig that hole, more tour buses will swing through Huntsville, too.
Hot in the ‘Hood
The surf sounds of The Rocket Scientists flood the Jazz Factory on January 21. …
Mambo Gris Gris bring Caribbean and creole rhythms to that same venue the
following evening. … Alison Krauss and Union Station appear at the Von Braun
Center on January 23. The country-bluegrass combo is touring in support of their
latest record, Lonely Runs Both Ways. Krauss has an astounding 17 Grammy Awards
to her credit, and her work on the “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” soundtrack increased
an already prolific profile. However, Union Station is miles away from a backing band.
Jerry Douglas is one of the greatest dobro players to ever don a pair of shit kickers. …
On January 28, Meteorite warms up the Humphrey’s patio. Informed by The Meters
and Steely Dan, Meteorite is pure jazz-rock. … Colonel Bruce Hampton and The
Codetalkers bring their bizarre blend of Americana to Crossroads on February 5. Their
debut record, Deluxe Edition, is on the Pesky Pole imprint.
Around the World
Beck’s follow-up to 2002’s Sea Change has been pushed back to late March. The record
is being produced by the Dust Brothers and features a guest appearance by Jack
White. … The Pixies are currently editing six shows filmed on their recent reunion tour
for a possible upcoming DVD release. … Wilco plays Birmingham’s historic Alabama
Theatre on February 13. … The Kings of Leon will release their sophomore effort, Aha
Shake Heartbreak, on February 22. The band will play a handful of West coast warmup gigs, with a full-scale trek to follow in the spring. … The 2005 South by Southwest
(SXSW) lineup includes: The Hot Hot Heat, Sleater-Kinney, The Kills, The Go, American
Music Club and Soundtrack of Our Lives. The annual Austin, Texas music conference
is scheduled for March 16-20. … The Queens of the Stone Age unleash their Lullabies
To Paralyze on March 22. Singer/guitarist/weirdo Josh Homme describes the album
as, “dark and romantic.” It features guitar work from ZZ Top’s Billy Gibbons and vocals
from The Distiller’s Brody Dalle. … The Black Crowes will reform to play five concerts
at New York’s Hammerstein Ballroom March 22–27. The North Mississippi Allstars, Ben
Kweller, The Bees, John Butler Trio and Soundtrack of Our Lives have been tapped for
opening acts. … U2 has postponed its mega-tour in support of How To Dismantle An
Atomic Bomb because of a family illness. Their previous jaunt made them the highest
grossing live act of 2001. … The Secret Machines will perform a string of East coast
shows before heading to Europe this spring. The U.S. tour opens in Boston on January
27 and concludes in New York on March 5.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
MUSIC
BENCHWARMER Amateur Poker Night, followed
by DJ Dave
FURNITURE FACTORY John Kulnich and Mark
Palmer
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Motor City Josh! Seconds, anyone?
There might still be some roof left on thisold place
... let’s finish her off! (We need no additional water.
Please allow the Oedipus- minded individual to
engulf himself in flames!)
MARTINI’S, Ramada Tunedoctor’s Karaoke
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Reece
SPORTS PAGE Pla’ Station
THE CORNER Tom Cremeens
THE CROSSROADS Dave Anderson
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY3
3rd BASE GRILL Edgar - Acoustic & Percussion
Duo (after college football)
BEEF O’ BRADY’S The Acoustic Songwriter’s
Showcase with Alan Rhody, Wood Newton,Tim
Krekel & host Jim Parker
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Eric Rhodes Band: Blues with an
attitude. Come check out Eric’s new fretless guitar!
Is this blues? Or is it rock ‘n’ roll? It’s blues with an
attitude! Patio. Now!
JAZZ FACTORY Live Music - TBA
KAFFEEKLATSCH @Night Dave Anderson
SAMMY T’s Ladies Night!
w/Sandy. 8 pm
THE CORNER Donnie Cox
THE CROSSROADS Papa Mali
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 4
801 FRANKLIN Frank Sinatra Guy
BEEF O’ BRADY’S The Acoustic Songwriter’s
Showcase with Don Henry, Craig Carothers, Steve
Nelson & host Jim Parker
BENCHWARMER Red Clay Addiction
BLUE PARROT, Guntersville 5 O’clock Charlie
and with special cameos. Bar opens at 6 p.m., o
pen dance floor from 9pm till 11pm then open
HUMPHREY’S The Joe Vanderbosh Band! If you
like Ben Folds Five, you’ll dig this outfit! It’s pianodriven rock at its finest! Come see for yourself.
All the way from Chi’town, Humphrey’s Bar &
Grillproudly presents ... The Joe Vanderbosh Band.
Thank you.
Music Company
THE VALLEY PLANET
HUMPHREY’S Ricci Jason is one of the rockin’
Blues - based shows on the
circuit. Hands down. Please, come out and enjoy
Jason’s dynamite show while you sample some
of Huntsville’s most expertly served foods and
beverages. It’s only the best scene around. Let’s
see....the best music, the best food, the best
bartenders....yep. The best. Just checking.
Country Gold Band: Music at 7pm $6
MARTINI’S, Ramada Tunedoctor’s Karaoke
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN Bama Babes
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Glenn and Libba
Nick
THE CORNER Dave Anderson - Voted #1 Musician
by Valley Planet plays Rock, Alternative & Originals
Applications available for choreographers
18 and over. Applicants may enter up to two
original works in ballet, jazz, tap and modern
dance. Panoply awards winners in each of the
categories $500 and awards the winner for Best
Overall Choreography $1000. Entry fee is $50.
Competitors across the nation make this a very
exciting dance event! Info: (256) 519-2787 and
www.panoply.org .
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 5
Informational Meeting: ArtSafari
Huntsville Museum of Art, 6:30-8 pm
Learn about this exciting program that takes
participants to exciting art destinations both near
(Atlanta) and far (Spain). The meeting is free to all.
BENCHWARMER DV8
BENCHWARMER TOO Government Warning
BLUE PARROT, Guntersville Mike and Barry
hosted by Miss K and special guest DJ’s. Brining
starting at 9pm
TBA
HARD DOCK CAFÉ, Decatur Lodestone
Music Company
HUMPHREY’S Mem Shannon & The Membership:
Get ready for Mardis Gras! All the way from
Louisiana, Mem Shannon is gonna get dat lead
ou de way an’ get all dem feets a stompin like we
gotta make a hunerd gallons o’ wine split-quick!
Ooooeeeeeeee!
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN 5 O’ Clock Charlie
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE Mojo Rising
Nick
w/Sandy. 8 pm
THE CORNER Lisa Busler
THE CROSSROADS Col. Bruce Hampton and the
Codetalkers
TWILIGHT ZONE, Guntersville Bad Habitz
EVENTS
Weekly
January 20
Film: “Dangerous Liaisons”
Huntsville Museum of Art, 6:30 pm
Glenn Close plays the Marquise De Merteuil
and John Malkovich plays the role of Vicomte
De Valmont. Together they become partners in
manipulation and betrayal. 119 min. Rated R.
Refreshments will be available for purchase, or
you can bring a snack to enjoy. Movies are FREE
to all.
Columbus Cobras vs. Huntsville Havoc
Von Braun Center, 7:30
Huntsville Young Professionals “License to
Shop”
U.S. Space & Rocket Center, 6-8 pm
In support of HYP and Ala.’s “First to the Moon”
license tag, Kroger has donated gift cards to
HYP and the Space and Rocket Center. $5 cover
includes music, food & three drink tickets. RSVP to:
[email protected].
January 21-29, 2005
“Fuddy Meers”
Von Braun Center Playhouse, times vary
Claire has a rare form of amnesia that erases her
memory whenever she goes to sleep. A half-blind,
half-deaf man in a ski mask pops out from under
her bed and claims to be her brother. A dimwitted
thug with a foul-mouthed hand puppet pops
up at a window and her driven husband and
perpetually stoned son show up with a
claustrophobic lady-cop they’ve kidnapped. For
mature audiences. January. 21-22, 27-29: 7:30
pm January. 23 & 29: 2pm. Adults: $14 Students,
Seniors, Active Military $12 (256) 536-0807.
www.theatrehsv.org
January 21-22
“Pageant”
Renaissance Theatre, 8 pm
The most outrageous beauty contest ever to hit
the stage! Master of ceremonies Frankie Cavalier
charms the audience just as much as the ladies:
Miss Deep South, Miss Industrial Northeast, Miss
Great Plains, Miss West Coast, Miss Bible Belt and
Miss Texas. Lots of fashion and fun in the evening
gown and swimsuit competitions set to inventive
music and campy dance numbers. Tickets, info:
(256) 536-3117 (Tues–Sat: 11 am-6 pm) or call
Princess Theatre at (256) 340-1778
January 21
Magic Matt’s Free Tableside Magic
TGI Friday’s: Wed, 6 – 8 pm
Green Hills Grille: Sun, 12 – 2 pm
Musicians Wanted!
Mountain Valley Arts Council is reviewing its
Lakeside Summer Concert 2005 booking season.
MOVA Arts Festival finalists are automatically
considered. Other musicians can send CD, tape
or video, photograph and contact info to MVAC
Booking Committee, 300 Gunter Ave, Guntersville,
AL 35976.
Bemidji State vs. UAH Chargers
Von Braun Center, 5 pm
Also January 22, 4 pm
Asheville Aces vs. Huntsville Havoc
Von Braun Center, 8:30 pm
Through January 23
“Fashion in Film: Period Costumes for the
Screen”
Huntsville Museum of Art
HMA is the premiere venue for this breathtaking
exhibition of 35 costumes from recent motion
pictures, including “Titanic,”“Out of Africa,”“Evita”
and “Sense and Sensibility.” These costumes
were created for the screen by award-wining
actors and actresses such as Colin Firth, Nicole
Kidman, Meryl Streep, Gwyneth Paltrow and Drew
Barrymore. The Museum is the Southeast venue
on this exclusive national tour. Tickets: $10/adults
non-members; $8/seniors, students, military and
groups of 10+; $4/children aged 6-11. FREE for
members and children 5 and under.
Through February 1
“Sexploitation” Film Festival submissions
Remember, no nudity or otherwise explicit
material accepted. You’ll have to be creative!
Entry form and other details on the Film Co-op’s
website at www.filmcoop.org/. The audience
favorite wins $50!!
Through February 14
Panoply Choreography Competition
Big Spring International Park, time TBA.
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VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
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ENTERTAINMENT
Huntsville carries an eclectic, emerging music
scene with local talent ranging from blues
to bluegrass. What’s even better than the
number of bands in this town is the emerging
number of patrons seeking live music in
the Valley. Thanks to all who voted for their
favorite local bands, and thanks for going out
to see a show. Jennifer H. Daniel
TOM CREMEENS 24%
DAVE ANDERSON 15%
MIKE ROBERTS 11%
LACEY ATCHISON 21%
THE CROSSROADS 17%
SAMMY T’S 14%
THE STATION 14%
HUMPHREY’S 13%
Crossroads showcases a variety of local, regional,
and national bands. Roots music rules the roost at
this venerable club. Keep on driving if you’re looking
for cover bands. But if you want to hear established
touring acts and great local talents, make it to
Crossroads.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN, BLUE PARROT, BOBBY G’S, BRICK,
CORNER, FURNITURE FACTORY, HARD DOCK, HOG WILD SALOON, HOPPER’S,
KAFFEEKLATSCH, MR C’S, OL’ BREWTAHN, PHILBY’S, SHAKER’S, SPORTSPAGE, TBIRD’S, TAVERN UNDER THE SQUARE, TIP TOP, WAREHOUSE
CARLA RUSSELL 20%
ANITA LYNN PALMER 13%
RACHEL MERRIMAN 13%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ANDREA
KENNEDY, CLAIRE LYNCH, DESIREE
DAVIS, ERIN SCHRIMSHER, HOLLY
MCREERY, KIM STAINES, KIRA
HUGHES, KRYSTAL PARRIS, LINDA
WOOD, LINDSEY HINKLE, LISA
BUSLER, MARSHA MORGAN,
MARJORIE LOVEDAY, MICHELLE
SMITH, ROBERTA SILVA, SIMONE
HULLS, STACIE FELICE, SUZIE NOLAN,
TANYA WHITE, TERRIE PUNG
THE STATION 35%
HALFTIME 26%
BENCHWARMER, TOO 17%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 721, BOBBY
G’S, BROILER, GOAL POST, HOPPER’S,
HOT SPOT, NOWHERE!, PEANUT
FACTORY, PRINCETON’S, SPORTS
ZONE
TOY SHOP 18%
BLACK EYED SUSAN 10%
ERIC RHODES BAND 6%
5 O’CLOCK CHARLIE 6%
17TH FLOOR, 3 OF A KIND, 4
DOOR RAMBLERS, ALABAMA
BLUES BROTHERS, BIG DADDY
KINGFISH, BLACK LABEL, BLACK
ROOT ENSEMBLE, BYTCHWATER,
CRAWLERS, CROSSCUT, DUANE
WALKER & THE DESPERADOS,
E SHARP MOTION, GRYPHON,
HASHBROWN, JUICE, KOSMIC
MAMA, LATIN RHYTHMS, MAMBO
GRIS GRIS, MICROWAVE DAVE & THE
NUKES, NEW SOUTHERN STATION,
PLA STATION, PUSH, REDDLETTERS,
REGGAE MYSTICS, ROCKET
SCIENTISTS, RUSSELL GULLEY BAND,
SHAMETOWN, SISTER LUCK, SCRATCH
BAND, TIME MACHINE
18
DAVE ANDERSON 14%
ANDREW SHARPE 9%
MICROWAVE DAVE 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ADAM
MERRIMAN, ANTONY SHARPE,
BOB WALTERS, BOBBY SHEPARD,
BOBBY TAYLOR, BRANDON BOYD,
CHARLIE THORTON, CHUCK WHITE,
CLAIRE LYNCH, DAVID EMERSON
GREY, DAVID SCHRIMSHER, EDGAR,
ERIC RHODES, GEARY TUCKER,
GEOFF RYAN, GEORGE HARTSELLE,
GIOVANNI RODRIGUEZ, GRAEME
MCKENNA, JIM CAVENDER, JIM
KOLACEK, KIRA HUGHES, LANCE
SMITH, MARSHA MORGAN, MATT
FOY, MATT WAKE, MIKE ROBERTS,
NATE WAKE, NIGEL REILLY, RENO
ROBERTS, ROB NELSON, RUSSELL
GULLEY, SCOTT HAAS, STEVE
REICHERT, TANYA WHITE, WILL
PETERSON, TOM CREMEENS
ANITA LYNN PALMER
45%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ANDREW
SHARPE, ANT SHARPE, BOBBY
SHEPARD, BOBBY TAYLOR, DAVID
MCCULLOUGH, DAVE MCCONNELL,
DUANE WALKER, GEARY TUCKER,
JEFF RYAN, JAMEY CRISLER, JASON
ALBERT, JIM CAVENDER, JAMEY
CRISLER, JOSHUA BLACK WILKINS,
JUSTIN CRISLER, J RICHTER, LANCE
DAVIS, LANCE SMITH, MICROWAVE
DAVE, PAT MORRIS, MICHAEL
JOHNSON, SCOTT MORGAN, TOMMY
PATTERSON, ROB NELSON, STEVE
REICHERT
TOY SHOP 20%
BLACK EYED SUSAN 11%
PUSH 10%
REDLETTERS 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 4 DOOR
RAMBLERS, 5 O’CLOCK CHARLIE,
ALAN LITTLE & JAY WILSON,
BLACK LABEL, BOBBY SHEPARD,
BRIAN HUDSON, DAVE ANDERSON,
GRYPHON, HASHBROWN, JOSHUA
BLACK WILKINS, MATT SHOOK, MATT
WAKE, MIKE ROBERTS, RED CLAY
ADDICTION, ROB NELSON, ROCKET
SCIENTISTS, SISTER LUCK, STARS
BELOW, TOM CREMEENS
HOWARD (HDK) 22%
KING KARAOKE JOE 6%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BEN,
ADKINS, DJ NIKKI, DEE DEE,DOC,
JIM NELSON, MARTINI, RUDY GREER,
SANDY, SKRIBBLE, STATION DUDE,
STING, SUPER DAVE, TERRI BURK
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
MAMBO GRIS GRIS 44%
ISLAND SOUNDZZ 17%
REGGAE MYSTICS 14%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: DAVID
STOCKS, EDGAR, ERIC RHODES, KIRA
HUGHES, LATIN RHYTHMS, PUSH,
WHITEY HERZOG, ZIMBA
MORE BEST OF THE VALLEY ENTERTAINMENT ON PAGE 22!
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
EVENTS
January 22
5 Points Common Market
Corner of Pratt and Dement, 8 am -12 pm
Flowers, unique gifts, coffee, fresh foods. Free to
artists and vendors. Open to the public. Call (256)
457-3819.
Huntsville Swing Dance Society
Knights of Columbus Hall, 7-11 pm
The TBD orchestra plays swing , jazz and ballroom.
3053 Leeman Ferry Rd. Huntsville. Free swing
lesson at 7:15 with music from 8-11pm. General
admission $12. $10 members. $6 students.
Lindy Hop Lessons
Knights of Columbus Hall, 2-3:20 and 3:30-4:50
$12 for each lesson or $22 for both with a
member discount. Call (256) 772-1798
Macon Trax vs. Huntsville Havoc
Ultimate Fight Night!
TABU, 3 Classes, $1,000 prize in each class,7:00 pm
January 24
Moscow Philharmonic Orchestra with ChoLiang Lin
VBC Concert Hall, 7:30 pm
Presented by the Huntsville Chamber Music Guild
Nashville Songwriters Workshop
Country Club Apartments meeting room, Bldg E,
6:30 pm
The North Alabama workshop is an official
Nashville Songwriters Association International
(NSAI) regional workshop. Workshops are
designed to further the knowledge and craft
of songwriting. Located on 1000 Airport Road,
Huntsville
Poetry Night
Casa Montego, 7:30 pm (promptly)
Featured artist: Lady Seoul. Also open mic and
musical guest. $3. Door prizes and surprises Info:
256.289.1315
January 25
Alabama A&M Books and Coffee Series
Clyde Foster Multi-purpose Room: School of
Business, 1 pm
Stephen Greenblatt’s “Will in the World: How
Shakespeare Became Shakespeare”
Info: Contact Mrs. Johnnie Hargrove (256) 3725398
January 27
Wine Tasting
Covenant Cove, 5-7 pm
Assorted heavy hors d’oeuvres from Bistro
La Luna and wines from around the world,
compliments of Superior (MBC United), Johnson
Brothers and Alabama Crown. $10. Reservations
suggested. Bistro La Luna: (256) 582-0930
Burritt Mountain Mixer
Burritt Mansion, 6-8 pm
Bring your friends or meet new ones. Shake off
the mid-winter doldrums while enjoying wine,
cheese and laughter. You may be surprised at the
variety of opportunities we have to offer. $5. Call
Caroline for reservations at 512-5570.
Huntsville Traditional Music Association
(HTMA) Members Concert
Old Church, Burritt on the Mountain, 7-9 pm
Music theme: Train songs. Free and family friendly.
www.huntsvillefolk.org
January 28-30
“Thoroughly Modern Millie”
Von Braun Center, Times vary
The Best Musical on Broadway is a singing,
dancing, romancing musical comedy that takes
you back to 1922 Manhattan with all the jazz-age
razzmatazz you want in a big, bright, brand-new
Broadway blockbuster. Fri, Jan. 28: 8 pm Sat, Jan
29: 2 and 8 pm Sun, Jan 30: 2 and 7 pm For tickets,
info: 256-518-6155
January 28
IIIrd Tyme Out, Foggy Hollow Bluegrass Band
and The Bailey Family.
Tom Bevill Lyceum at Northeast Alabama
Community College, 6:30 pm
Advance tickets $20 adults, $10 children. At the
door: $25 and $15
Film: “Indigo”
Flying Monkey Arts Center, 7:30 pm
Sponsored by Haydngrove. “Indigo” is a film about
redemption, grace and the healing powers of a
new generation of psychic and gifted “Indigo”
children. It tells the story of one family’s three
fateful choices that result in bankruptcy, jail
and their estrangement and total dissolution.
THE VALLEY PLANET
Admission $8. Located at Lowe Mill: 2211
Seminole Dr. Hville.
’s
O
H
C
R
A
N
A
DR
Rx for Old Stuff That Don’t Suck
“Forbidden Broadway Shoots for the Stars”
Princess Theatre Decatur, 7:30 pm
New York’s most hilarious musical has been
running on Broadway for 21 years. Where else
can you see 31 Broadway shows in 97 minutes,
leaving you breathless with laughter while you’re
humming along? Pre-performance wine and
cheese tasting (256) 340-1778.
Once again, I’ll make my argument that a great live album beats a
Rocket City Rasslin’
TABU, Rasslin’s Back! 7:00 pm
makes everything better – except sex.
January 31
North Carolina Dance Theatre
VBC Concert Hall, 7:30 pm
North Carolina Dance Theatre brings an exciting
evening of dance to Huntsville. Among the works
presented will be classical pieces choreographed
by Alonzo King and George Balanchine.
Bonnefoux’s new piece, “Shindig” is danced to the
live music of bluegrass band Greasy Beans. Tickets
and info: 539-0961
February 1
American Association of University Women
Guest Speaker Program
UAH Bevill Center, 5:45-7 pm
Linda Tilly, Executive Director of VOICES for
Alabama’s Children will speak on the well-being
of Madison County children and the legislative
issues affecting children and families. Social 5:45
pm. Dinner 6 pm. Program 7 pm. Reservations for
all or part and info: 881-8171
studio recording. There’s something about getting it warts and all that
Oh, my God. Please, no one tell the Huntsville Public Library that I said “sex”. Some
doddering old crone will get the vapors if you do.
This month’s pick for Dr. A’s Old Stuff That Don’t Suck is Elton John’s (OK, he sucks when
he wants to, but it’s none of my business) 1976 release of Here and There.
Originally released as a 10-song vinyl collection, it was compiled of concert recordings
from both the US and UK. Since it was released to fulfill a last contractual obligation
to Dick James Records, lesser artists than Elton might have winged this one. You only
have to hear some of Aerosmith’s embarrassing, live, contract-unsatisfying LP’s to
know what I mean.
In 1989 Here and There was digitally
remastered and released as a 26 song
double-live CD. This is the one you
want.
February 3
Although prone to stage excess in the
‘70s, Elton John’s live performances
were things to behold – a flying, pink
747 extravaganza that left everyone in
the audience amazed and astounded.
Here and There is no different. I’m glad,
because the 1974 Thanksgiving night
show of Elton John’s string of 51 sold
out performances at Madison Square
Garden made history in more ways than
one: It was the last public performance
of ex-Beatle, John Lennon.
African-American Film Series
Huntsville Museum of Art, 7 pm
In conjunction with Black History Month and The
Walter O. Evans Collection of African-American Art,
the museum will present a film series highlighting
today’s top African-American artists. The inaugural
showing highlights Jacob Lawrence. Free to all.
HAL5 (Nat’l Space Soc)
Huntsville Madison County Library, 7 pm
Topic: Lunar In Situ Resource Utilization Speaker:
James Hopkins. Social to follow at Shoney’s. Info:
882-7726
February 4
Poetry Open Mic Night
Flying Monkey Arts Center, 8 pm
Hosted by Allen Barry. $5
February 5-6
“The Vagina Monologues”
Flying Monkey Arts Center, 8 pm.
Held in conjunction with UAH Women’s Studies.
For info: (256) 824-6210
February 5
Contra Dance and Pot Luck Dinner
Faith Presbyterian, 6-10:30 pm
Live music by Contratopia of Iowa & Minnesota.
Calling by Susan Kevra of Nashville. All ages
welcome. Pot luck dinner: 6 pm. Beginner’s lesson:
7-7:30 pm. Dance: 7:30-10:30 pm. Admission $8.
$5 students. 12 & under free. No passes for this
dance. Corner of Airport Rd. & Whitesburg Dr. For
info: www.secontra.com/NACDS.html or call (256)
837-0656
Huntsville Symphony Orchestra “Mainly
Mozart Series: Mozart III”
Trinity United Methodist Church, 7:30 pm
Grieg, Bach and Mozart in a program highlighted
by HSO principals. For tickets, info: (256) 539-4818
Latin Dance by the Alabama Hispanic
Association
Seniors Center Auditorium, 8pm-1am
Admission includes dance lessons from 8-9 pm by
Monique Ryan of the Dance Theater of
Huntsville. Music provided by DJ “Azucar.” Dress to
impress. For tickets, info: www.alabamahispanicas
sociation.org or (256) 541-0385
Winterfest 2005 Visual Art Workshops
Guntersville Library, 9 am-4 pm
Registration online at
www.mountainvalleyartscouncil.org
or call (256) 582-1454. Registrations will be taken
until Feb. 3 or until workshops are filled.
Jacksonville Barracudas vs. Huntsville Havoc
Elton John played on Lennon’s, Walls and Bridges LP when the recluse superstar was
having trouble charting a solid hit in the post-Fab Four days. Upon conclusion of
“Whatever Gets You Through the Night,” John remarked that it would be a number
one single. Lennon made a bet with John that if “Whatever Gets You Through the
Night” made it to number one, he’d appear live onstage with John. It did, and Lennon
did appear six months later performing “Whatever Gets You Through the Night,”
“Lucy In the Sky” and “I Saw Her Standing There.” This was only a short time before
Lennon had a date with fate named Mark David Chapman.
The liner notes to Here and There state that it was after this performance that Lennon
and estranged howler-wife Yoko Ono were reconciled backstage. They had been
separated almost a year. That alone should have been enough to prove that Lennon’s
luck was headed for the crapper.
On the double CD remake, the producers curiously chose to eliminate Lennon
speaking at the beginning of the track: “We’d like to sing an old song from an old
estranged fiancée of mine called Paul. This is one I never sang, and we just about
know it.” Then EJ’s band launches into
the 1963 Beatles classic, “I Saw her
Standing There.” To hear Lennon you
have to listen to the entire previous
song to get to the pithy dialogue.
See? Only your good Doctor could write
an entire column about Elton John by
talking about John Lennon.
In the world of live superstars, they don’t
come any bigger than Elton John. After
three-plus decades, his hits remain alive,
fresh and recognizable the world over.
Amazingly, this double CD treasure may
be bought online used for as little as $4.
Treat yourself.
CALENDAR
[email protected]
#012005020205
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
19
FOOD
Everyone knows that Pauli’s Bar and Grill in Madison is the cornerstone of fine dining in
the Valley. Although Pauli’s didn’t place first in any single category, it placed second and
third in many. The rooms are warm, the bar is dark and their signature drink, a “muddled
martini,” is the best in town. Crab cakes are a must, too. Pauli’s boasts a great bar scene
with the city’s largest selection of single malt scotches and an impressive wine list. French
champagne, Italian dessert wines and a variety of gregarious varietals are a stack for such
a small establishment – the coziest place in town. For a special meal where consistent
service counts, Pauli’s is the place.
SAZIO 33%
801 FRANKLIN 16%
STARFISH 15%
SAMMY’S SPORTS BAR & STEAK HOUSE 9%
CHEF’S TABLE 6%
PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE 6%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: AUNT EUNICE’S, BANDITO BURRITO, BIG ED’S, BISTRO LA
LUNA, CAFE BABA, CAFE BERLIN, CHILI’S, CORNER, CORNER HAMPTON COVE, CRICKETS,
D&L BISTRO, FURNITURE FACTORY, GREEN HILLS GRILL, HOOTERS, HUMPHREY’S, JAZZ
FACTORY, LA ALAMEDA, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, LOGAN’S, LONE STAR, LONGHORN, MAIN
STREET CAFE, MIKATO, MIWON, OUTBACK, PORT OF MADISON, ROSIE’S, SAZIO, SIMP
MCGHEE’S, SOUL BURGER, STARFISH, SURIN OF THAILAND, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, THAI GARDEN, TIM’S CAJUN KITCHEN, VILLA FIORE, VINNY’S, WILD FLOUR BISTRO
Congratulations! Two years in a row, you guys are the best!
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BLUE PLATE CAFE, CAFE BABA, CASA BLANCA, CHEF’S TABLE,
CORNER HAMPTON COVE, COUNTRY VITTLES, D&L BISTRO, DEUTSCHE KUCHE, DREAMLAND, ELBURZ (CLOSED), HUMPHREY’S, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, LOGAN’S, NEW MOON,
NOODLE HOUSE, SITAR, TELLINI’S, TONY’S LITTLE ITALY, VINNY’S
Sazio sits in the old Zesto’s building in 5 Points. When you step inside it smells like crushed
garlic and roasted tomatoes. You can see the kitchen from part of the dining room, and it’s
amazing to watch so many chefs and servers whirl in and out with bowls of steaming pasta
and foccacia bread. Wrought iron furnishings give Sazio a rustic, old-world feel, and the bar
offers a nice array of wines and import beers. Even the background music sounds authentic
– it’s not the cheesy crap played at most Italian chains. Cheesy is a better description for Sazio’s
menu. With everything from handmade pizza to the best pasta in town, the eatery also dishes
out nightly specials and the freshest salads. Desserts melt in the mouths of babes and adults
alike. I know folks from Birmingham who make the drive for Sazio’s signature pasta Bolognese
and cappuccino crème brulees. Now that’s impressive.
FOGCUTTER 20%
SISTER GOOCH 14 %
ZESTO’S 11%
801 FRANKLIN 21%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BIER GARTEN, DECADENCE, EUNICE’S, FAZOLI’S, FORMOSA,
MR. C’S, ROLY POLY, STEAK & ALE, TIA’S
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: CHEF’S TABLE, D&L BISTRO, FOGCUTTER, HERITAGE CLUB,
JAZZ FACTORY, KRYSTAL, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, MACARONI GRILL, MAIN STREET CAFE,
MIKATO, OLIVE GARDEN, PORT OF MADISON, SAZIO, STARFISH, LEDGES, VILLA FIORE
801 FRANKLIN 15%
ROSIE’S 5%
OLDE TOWNE COFFEE 29%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: APPLEBEE’S, BENNIGAN’S, CAFE BERLIN, CHEF’S TABLE,
CHILI’S, COUNTRY VITTLES, CRICKET’S, D&L BISTRO, DEUTSCHE KUCHE, FURNITURE FACTORY, GIRABALDI’S, HUMPHREY’S, JAZZ FACTORY, LA ALAMEDA, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL,
LOGAN’S, MACARONI GRILL, MAIN STREET CAFE, MIKATO, OUTBACK, PO’ BOY FACTORY,
PORT OF MADISON, SAZIO, SITAR, SOUL BURGER, STARFISH, SURIN, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, THAI
GARDEN, TIM’S CAJUN KITCHEN, VILLA FIORE, WILD FLOUR BISTRO, WINGS
20
KAFFEEKLATSCH 20%
JAMO’S 11%
SEATTLE SOUTH 11 %
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ATLANTA
BREAD COMPANY, BARNES & NOBLE,
BOOKS-A-MILLION, CAFE BABA, CAFE
DOMAIN, DENNY’S, KENNY MANGO’S,
SHONEY’S, STARBUCKS, WAFFLE
HOUSE
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
MULLINS 19%
BLUE PLATE CAFE 13%
WAFFLE HOUSE 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ATLANTA
BREAD COMPANY, BISCUIT EXPRESS,
CAFE BABA, COUNTRY VITTLES,
CRACKER BARREL, DENNY’S,
GIBSON’S, HUDDLE HOUSE, IZZY’S,
JACKSON FAMILY RESTAURANT,
ROLO’S, ROSIE’S, SEATTLE SOUTH,
SHONEY’S, SQUIRREL’S NEST, THE
LITTLE FARM
THE VALLEY PLANET
STARFISH 33%
801 FRANKLIN 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BROILER,
CAFE BERLIN, CAJUN CAFE, CHEF’S
TABLE, COPELAND’S, D&L BISTRO, GO
SOUTH, WAY SOUTH, G’S COUNTRY
KITCHEN, LANDRY’S, LE BISTRO DU
SOLEIL, LUCIANO’S, NEW MOON, PO’
BOY FACTORY, PORT OF MADISON, RED
LOBSTER, TOYKO, VILLA FIORE, WILD
FLOUR BISTRO
ROSIE’S 27%
PEPITOS 17%
BANDITO BURRITO 11%
OL’ HEIDELBURG 13%
DUETSCHE KUCHE 9%
CAFE BERLIN 9%
VINNY’S 7%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: CAFE BABA,
CHEF’S TABLE, EDO, ELBURZ, FURNITURE
FACTORY, INDIA HOUSE, JAMO’S,
MIKAWA, MIYAKO’S, OUTBACK, PAPOU’S,
SAZIO, SITAR, TAI PAN, TASTE OF THE
ISLANDS, TOYKO, VIET HOUNG
Searching for a lo-fi Mexican
experience? Look no further
than Bandito Burrito. They
serve up a variety of vegetarian
and carne items in a hip
atmosphere. Featured items
include green bean burrito,
veggie tamale and chile verde.
Bandito’s food is funky and
fresh.
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: CASA BLANCA, CAZADORES, CHIPS & SALSA, EL CAMINO REAL,
EL MARIACHI, EL OMECA, EL PALACIO, GARABALDI’S, GUADALAHARA, LA ALAMEDA, LA
MICHOACANA, LAS CAZUELAS, SAN PEDRO’S, TACO BELL
TIM’S CAJUN
KITCHEN 53%
PAULI’S
CHOPHOUSE 26%
OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE 19%
801 FRANKLIN 9%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: APPLEBEE’S,
COPELAND’S, CORNER, FURNITURE FACTORY, JAZZ FACTORY, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, LOGAN’S, LONE STAR, LONGHORN,
PAULI’S BAR & GRILL, PORT OF MADISON, RONNIE’S MEAT MARKET, RUBY
TUESDAY’S, SAMMY’S STEAK HOUSE,
SAZIO, SIMP MCGHEE’S, STEAK OUT, T.G.I.
FRIDAY’S, VILLA FIORE
VILLA FIORE 23%
LUCIANO’S 22%
MACARONI GRILL 17%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: D&L BISTRO,
ITALIAN PIE, MANDO’S, OLIVE GARDEN,
SAZIO, STARFISH, TELLINI’S, TONY’S
LITTLE ITALY
PO’ BOY FACTORY 33%
COPELAND’S 6%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: CAJUN GRILL,
CAJUN DINER, CRAWMAMMA’S
THAI GARDEN 28%
SURIN OF THAILAND 28% DUFFY’S 13%
MIKATO 7% STANLIEO’S 12%
TONY’S ITALIAN DELI 10%
EDO 6% OTHERS
RECEIVING VOTES: ATLANTA
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: CHINA MOON,
GOLDEN STAR, JADE PALACE, KOREA
HOUSE, MIKAWA, MIWON, NEW CHINA,
NEW MOON, NIKKO, SHOGUN, SITAR, TAI
PAN, THE PANDA, VINNY’S
BREAD COMPANY, BRICK, COTTON ROW
MARKET, COVINGTON’S, FIREHOUSE
SUBS, HUNTSVILLE HOSPITAL, LAKE IDA,
LENNY’S, MARKETPLACE, MCALISTER’S,
QUIZNO’S, RUGGBY’S, SCHLOTSKY’S,
SOUTHSIDE CAFE, SUBWAY, TARGET,
VINCENT’S
GIBSON’S 25%
THOMAS PIT BBQ 12%
DREAMLAND 12%
LAWLER’S 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BIG COVE,
FAT DADDY’S, FLOYD’S, GOLDEN RULE,
GREENBRIAR, LITTLE PAULI’S, MERIDIANVILLE BBQ, MR BBQ, PB’S, PEANUT FACTORY, ROCKABILLY’S, SIMON’S, SMOKEY’S,
WHITT’S
CHEEBURGER
CHEEBURGER 24%
THE CORNER 12%
SOUL BURGER 10% BEAUREGARD’S 25%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE, 801
FRANKLIN, APPLEBEE’S, BEAUREGARD’S,
BURGER KING, CHILI’S, CORNER HAMPTON COVE, END ZONE, FINNEGAN’S,
FURNITURE FACTORY, GLASSES, HARDEES, HONEY’S, HOOTER’S, HUMPHREY’S,
JAZZ FACTORY, LITTLE PAULI’S, MULLINS,
PEANUT FACTORY, PORT OF MADISON,
RUBY TUESDAY’S, SAMMY’S SPORTS BAR
& STEAK HOUSE, STEAK OUT, T-BIRD’S,
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, THE BAR THAT WE ARE
FORBIDDEN TO MENTION, WINGS
THE VALLEY PLANET
WINGS 18%
HOOTER’S 12%
TERRY’S 24%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE GRILL,
BENCHWARMER, BENNIGAN’S, BOB
BAUMHOWER’S, BUFFALO’S, CORNER,
CRICKET’S, FURNITURE FACTORY,
HUMPHREY’S, LOGAN’S, PEANUT
FACTORY, ROCKABILLY’S, SPORTS PAGE,
T-BIRD’S, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, STATION, WINGS
EXPRESS, WINGS TO GO
#012005020205
BIG ED’S 22%
SAZIO 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BELLACINO’S, CC’S, DOMINO’S, DONATO’S, ITALIAN PIE,
KAFFEEKLATSCH, PAPA JOHN’S, PIZZA HUT, PIZZERIA, PORT OF MADISON, TONY’S
LITTLE ITALY
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
MORE BEST OF THE VALLEY FOOD ON PAGE 22!
21
FOOD
EXPIRES 6/1/05
CAFE BABA 21% BLUE PLATE CAFE 30%
801 FRANKLIN 11% MULLIN’S 10%
CHEF’S TABLE 7% ROLO’S 9%
BARREL 9%
SAZIO 7% CRACKER
ENTERTAINMENT
MICROWAVE DAVE 25%
ERIC RHODES BAND 20%
4 DOOR RAMBLERS 16%
DUANE WALKER & THE
DESPERADOS 16%
WAYNE MILLS BAND 12%
JASON ALBERT 8%
EVAN MOORE 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: CHRIS YOUNG,
CHURCH STREET, CLAIRE LYNCH, BRANDON WALKER, DAN BROWN, DIRT ROAD,
HEARTLAND, JIM CAVENDER, JONATHAN
CARTER, JOSHUA BLACK WILKINS, MIKE
COLE, MIKE JOHNSON, PINHOOK CREEK,
ROB NELSON, SHANE ADKINS, TAMMY
WESTMORELAND
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ALABAMA
BLUES BROTHER, BISHOP BLACK,
CHARLIE HOWELL, CHARLIE THORNTON,
CRAWLERS, DAVID HOLLAND, ELECTRIC
VOODOO, GULLIVER, JAMIE CRISLER,
JUSTIN CRISLER, KIRA HUGHES, LANCE
SMITH, LISA BUSLER, LISA MALONE, MS
JOHNNIE, PUSH, RUSSELL GULLEY
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: APPLEBEE’S,
CAFE BERLIN, COPELAND’S, CYN SHEA’S,
FURNITURE FACTORY, GIBSON’S, JAZZ
FACTORY, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, LUCIANO’S, MACARONI GRILL, MAGNOLIA
CONFECTIONERS, MAIN STREET CAFE,
MULLIN’S, OL’ HEIDELBURG, OUTBACK,
PAULI’S BAR & GRILL, PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE, PORT OF MADISON, RUBY
TUESDAY’S, SEATTLE SOUTH, SONIC, T.G.I.
FRIDAY’S, THE DUETCHE KUCHE, VICTORIA’S, VILLA FIORE, WILD FLOUR BISTRO
BLUE PLATE CAFE 12%
JAZZ FACTORY 21%
801 FRANKLIN 19%
BLUE SAVOY COMBO 20%
BLACK ROOT ENSEMBLE 14%
CRACKERJACKS 8%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BIG ED’S,
BISTRO LA LUNA, CHEF’S TABLE,
CORNER HAMPTON COVE, D&L BISTRO,
KAFFEEKLATSCH, LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL,
LUCIANO’S, MACARONI GRILL, MAIN
STREET CAFE, OLIVE GARDEN, PAULI’S
CHOPHOUSE, PEANUT FACTORY, PORT OF
MADISON, STARFISH, VILLA FIORE, WILD
FLOUR BISTRO
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ABSTRACT,
BOB MCBROOM, BOB WALTERS, CHRIS
BOTTI, CHRIS WEST QUARTET, DAVE
MCCONNELL, GUY SMILEY BLUES
EXCHANGE, HARRY WATERS, HOT ROD
OTIS, INCOGNITO, JAMES GANZBERG, JIM
BECK, KEN WATERS, KIRA HUGHES, PUSH
JAZZ FACTORY 29%
RUGGBY’S 23%
FINNEGAN’S 17%
THE BAR WE ARE FORBIDDEN
TO MENTION 14%
3RD BASE 28%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 3rd BASE,
BENCHWARMER, BLACKWATER HATTIE’S,
BROILER, CHIPS & SALSA, COPPERTOP,
CORNER, DIAMONDS, FRATERNAL ORDER
OF EAGLES, GOAL POST, LENA’S PLACE,
PHILBY’S, SPORTS PAGE, TAVERN UNDER
THE SQUARE, WAREHOUSE
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: BOBBY G’S,
CROSSROADS, DIAMONDS, CHIPS &
SALSA, HOOTER’S, NO WHERE, ALDORIA
CANTINA, PHILBY’S, SPORTS PAGE, WINGS
22
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S 18%
THE CORNER 15%
RESTAURANT, CHEF’S TABLE, COUNTRY
VITTLES, ERNIE’S, GIBSON’S, G’S
COUNTRY KITCHEN, HUNTSVILLE
HOSPITAL, IVEY’S, JACKSON FAMILY
RESTAURANT, LIBBY’S, MOM, MOUNTAIN
VIEW, MOTHER-IN-LAW’S, PICADILLY,
RYAN’S, T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, VILLA FIORE,
WILD ROSE
WAREHOUSE 16%
THE STATION 11%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: ALLEN’S
GRILL & GROG, BENCHWARMER,
BILLIARD STREET CAFE, BRICK, BROILER,
BUMPERS, CHIPS & SALSA, CROSSROADS,
DIAMONDS, GOAL POST, HOG WILD,
PHILBY’S, SHAKERS, SPORTS PAGE,
STEVE’S, THE RACK CAFE, THE BAR WE
ARE FORBIDDEN TO MENTION, VISIONS
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
BANDITO BURRITO 7%
PO’ BOY FACTORY 6%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN,
AMERICAN CAFE, APPLEBEE’S, ATLANTA
BREAD COMPANY, BIG SPRING CAFE,
BRICK, CASA BLANCA, CHEF’S TABLE,
CICI’S PIZZA, CLEMENTINE’S, CORNER,
COTTON ROW MARKET, COVINGTON’S,
CRICKET’S, D&L BISTRO, DIAMONDS,
EL PALACIO, ERNIE’S, FURNITURE FACTORY, GUADALAHARA, HOOTER’S,
HUMPHREY’S, JADE PALACE, JAMO’S,
JAZZ FACTORY, MAIN STREET CAFE,
MARKET PLACE, MCALLISTER’S, NOTHING BUT NOODLES, O’CHARLEY’S, PORT
OF MADISON, QDOBA, ROLO’S, ROSIE’S,
RUGGBY’S, SOUL BURGER, STANLIEO’S,
SUBWAY, SURIN, TENDER’S, T.G.I FRIDAY’S,
THAI GARDEN, THE BAR WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO MENTION, VICTORIA’S, VINNY’S,
WILD ROSE, WILD FLOUR BISTRO
JAZZ FACTORY 18%
GREEN HILLS GRILLE 16%
HUNTSVILLE HILTON 10%
OTHERS RECEIVING VOTES: 801 FRANKLIN,
CANEBRAKE GOLF CLUB, CLEMENTINE’S,
COPELAND’S, CRACKER BARREL, DING
HOW 2, HERITAGE CLUB, HOLIDAY
INN, HOPPER’S, HUDDLE HOUSE, JADE
PALACE, THE LEDGES, MACARONI GRILL,
MARIOTT, MOUNTAIN VIEW, O CHARLEY’S,
T.G.I. FRIDAY’S
MORE BEST OF THE VALLEY ENTERTAINMENT ON PAGE 11!
#012005020205
THE VALLEY PLANET
LISTINGS
[email protected]
PAPOU’S
VP after a listing means that the wonderful people at that establishment were
kind enough to let us distribute the
VALLEY PLANET there! If you would like to
make your place all that, call us and we’ll
deliver a beautiful VALLEY PLANET rack
pronto! 256-858-6736
SAZIO
110 South Side Square, Huntsville, 256-534-5553
Greek Restaurant, Lunch & Dinner, Full Bar.
LOGAN’S ROADHOUSE (2 Huntsville locations)
4249 Balmoral Drive, Huntsville, 256-881-0584
University Drive NW, Huntsvile VP
2315 Beltline SW, Decatur, 256-432-2746
2002 Gunter Ave., Guntersville, 256-582-0150
PAULI’S BAR & GRILL
7143-C Hwy 72 W, Huntsville (corner of Slaughter Road
& Hwy 72), 256-722-2080. Full Bar & Extensive Wine List.
Reservations Suggested.
www.paulisbarandgrill.com VP
1208 Beltline SW, Decatur, 256-351-6247
Alabama Famous Chicken Tenders, Hickory Smoked Baby
Back Ribs. In the Lounge, LIVE MUSIC Tu-Fr night, Monday
Night Football. VP
STARFISH
DUFFY’S DELI
4800 Whitesburg Drive S, 256-880-1557 and
1480 Perimeter Pkwy, 256-425-0034. Appetizers, Salads,
Sandwiches, Spuds & Desserts. Kid’s Menu.
TONY’S ITALIAN DELI
119 James Madison Drive SW
Huntsville, 256-772-4448
SCHLOTZSKY’S DELI (2 Huntsville locations)
Corner of Pratt & Russell, Huntsville, 256-327-5555
Fresh Seafood , Full Bar VP
4319 University Drive NW, 256-830-6400
11120 Memorial Pkwy SW, 256-650-6300
8969 Hwy. 20, Madison, 256-464-5300
SOUL BURGER
2900 Triana Blvd. SW, Huntsville, 256-534-8585
STANLIEO’S SUB VILLA (2 Huntsville locations)
7004 Val-Monte, Guntersville, 256-582-4567
WEST END GRILL
6610 Old Madison Pike, Huntsville, 256-722-8040. Steaks,
chicken and seafood.
WILD FLOUR BISTRO
600 Jordan Lane NW, Huntsville (shopping center, corner
of Holmes and Jordan). 256-536-0939. VP
605 Jordan Lane, 256-837-7220 VP
602 Governors Drive, 256-536-6585 VP
TERRY’S PIZZA (3 Huntsville locations)
9034 Memorial Pkwy S, 256-881-5987
3612 Governors Dr, 256-536-3389 and
2514 Memorial Pkwy N, 256-539-3467
WINGS SPORTS GRILLE
4250 Balmoral Dr. SW, Huntsville, 256-881-8878.
www.wingssportsgrille.com VP
BB PERRINS
608 Holly St, NE, Decatur, 256-355-0980
CLEM’S BBQ & FISHERY
BENNIGAN’S
1009 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-534-6141
Every day is St. Patrick’s Day at Bennigan’s
www.bennigans.com VP
5000 Whitesburg Dr., Huntsville, 256-885-3700
300 Hughes Rd, Madison, 256-464-9990
Providence Main, Huntsville
McALISTER’S DELI (2 Huntsville locations) VP
TOP O’ THE RIVER
BEAUREGARD’S (3 Huntsville locations)
721 Clinton Avenue, Huntsville, 256-536-2872
2324 Whitesburg, Huntsville, 256-533-4179
4935 University Drive NW, Huntsville
256-830-2793, www.tgifridays.com
1851 University Dr. , 256-512-0074 VP
511 Jordan Lane, 256-837-2433 VP
975 Airport Rd. SW, 256-880-2131 VP
BIG ED’S PIZZERIA
PILOT HOUSE RESTAURANT
TGI FRIDAY’S
801 Franklin Street, Huntsville (Downtown by Medical
Center), 256-519-8019. Lunch: M-F 11-2, Dinner: M-W 5-10
pm & Th-Sa 5 pm-1 am. Lounge opens 4 pm M-F. Full Bar
& Extensive Wine List. www.801franklin.com VP
4851 Whitesburg Dr, 256-880-8656 VP
8572 Madison Blvd, Madison, 256-774-1918 VP
CHEEBURGER, CHEEBURGER (3 locations)
PRINCETON’S CEDAR MILL GRILLE
801 FRANKLIN
BELLACINO’S PIZZA & GRINDERS (2 locations)
109 Washington Street, Huntsville (Downtown, corner of
Clinton and Washington), 256-704-5555. M-Th 5 – 10 pm,
F-Sat 5 – 11 pm, Sun 11 am – 2 pm. Full Bar & Extensive
Wine Selection. www.washingtonsq.com/chophouse.htm
VP
200 South Main St., Tuscumbia, 256-389-9551
Sun-Thur: 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. Fri-Sat: 11 a.m. - 11 p.m.
7904 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-882-9500. Great
Food for Lunch and Dinner. Mondays $0.35 Wings, Family
Atmosphere, Live Music on Wednesday & Thursday. NFL
Ticket on Sunday. Open 11 pm – 2 am, Mon–Sat, open at
noon - 2 am on Sundays. VP
Corner of Pratt & Russell, Huntsville, 256-327-5555
Mediterranean Cuisine, Full Bar, Patio Dining VP
MAGNOLIA RESTAURANT & LOUNGE
PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE
3RD BASE GRILL
3700 Blue Spring Road NW
ALABAMA BREAD COMPANY
DREAMLAND
975 Airport Rd., Huntsville, 256-882-2010.
3855 University Dr., Huntsville 256-539-7427 VP
Covenant Cove Lodge & Marina, 7001 Val-Monte
Drive, Guntersville, 256-582-0930. Lunch & Dinner
www.covenantcove.com
CAFE BABA
GIBSON BARBECUE (3 Huntsville locations)
CAHOOTS
CAFE DOMAIN
BISTRO LA LUNA VP
114 West Market Street, Fayetteville, TN.
931-433-1173. Dine in old jail cells.
CHILI’S (2 Huntsville locations)
4925 University Drive, 256-722-9620 VP
2740 Carl T. Jones, 256-882-1230
6585 Hwy 431 S, Ste. C, Huntsville, 256-882-6747
Creperie & Patisserie
VP
5000 Whitesburg, Huntsville, 256-519-2323. Coffee
Hotspot. Specialty coffees, sandwiches, salads, desserts.
COFFEE TREE BOOKS & BREW, THE
7900 Bailey Cove Rd., Huntsville, 256-880-6464
COPELAND’S
COTTON ROW MARKET
CRAWMAMMA’S
GREEN DOOR BOOKS
2004 Airport Road SW, Huntsville
256-650-3131 VP
5000 Webb Villa, Guntersville, 256-582-0484
Seafood & Steak
D&L BISTRO
7500 SW Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville,
256-881-7244, located in Main St. South
Mon-Sat. Lunch & Dinner. VP
THE DOCKS
Goosepond Colony, 417 Ed Hembree, Scottsboro,
256-574-3071. Casual Fine Dining Restaurant & Bar on
the banks of the Tennessee River. Free live entertainment
on weekends. VP
EDEN’S EAST
VP
5100 Sanderson Street NW, Huntsville (corner of Wynn
and University), 256-837-8282. VP
HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL
255 Pratt Ave., Huntsville, 256-489-1831 VP
ERNEY’S
G’S COUNTRY KITCHEN
1713 6th Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-351-8555.
Espresso, Mocha, Coffee, Freezes, Smoothies, Sandwiches
& Baked goods. M-Th: 6am-6pm. Fri: 6am-7pm. Sat: 8am2pm. VP
LAGNIAPPES COFFEE CAFE
101 Lindsay Lane S., Athens, 256-232-2330. A quaint
restaurant on the edge of a beautiful, small lake. VP
LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL
300 Franklin Street, Huntsville (Downtown on the
Square), 256-539-7777
607 Andrew Jackson, Huntsville, 256-539-2826
ROLO’S CAFE
3021 Thornton Taylor Pkwy., Fayetteville, TN (inside Best
Western Hotel) 931-433-3871 VP
BANDITO BURRITO (2 locations) VP
119 East Moulton, Decatur
Coffee, Espresso, Bakery & Deli. VP
3017 Governors Dr SW, Huntsville, 256-534-0866
208 Main St., Madison, 256-461-8999
OLDE TOWNE COFFEE SHOPPE
CASA BLANCA MEXICAN RESTAURANT
511 Pratt Ave NE, Huntsville, 256-539-5399 VP
2113 Whitesburg Drive S, Huntsville,(Whitesburg Medical
District), 256-534-0513 VP
2699B Sandlin Rd., SW, Decatur, 256-353-2025
(4 locations) VP
7830 Hwy 72 W, Ste 230, Madison 256-864-0360
140 Browns Ferry Rd, Madison 256-464-6044
7900 Bailey Cove Rd, Huntsville 256-883-4447
1802 Hwy 72 E, Ste D, Athens 256-771-0130
EL MARIACHI (3 locations)
14450 Hwy 231/431 N Hazel Green, 256-828-1466 1836
Winchester Road, Huntsville 256-851-7255
7193 Hwy 72 W, Madison, 256-890-0900
WILD ROSE CAFE
121 North Side Square, Huntsville, 256-539-3658
410 Old Town St., Guntersville, 256-582-1676
LAKE IDA
MULLIN’S
TROTTER’S
119 N Side Square, Huntsville, 256-755-6559. Featuring
coffee drinks, smoothies & desserts. Live music &
entertainment. 7:30am-5pm M-Th. Til midnight F&S.
Closed Sundays. VP
WEST SIDE COFFEE PLACE & CAFE
2501 Oakwood Dr., Huntsville, 256-533-3034
505 Airport Rd., Huntsville, 256-883-7656
103 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-536-7993. VP
JAZZ FACTORY
3210 Governors Drive, Huntsville, 256-533-8808
1605 Pulaski Pike NW
Huntsville, (256) 533-5734
JAVA JAAY CAFE
SEATTLE SOUTH
K C’s COYOTE CAFE
ROCKABILLY’S SMOKEHOUSE GRILL
413 Jordan Lane NW, Huntsville, 256-837-7880.
Mediterranean Fare, Sandwiches & Specialty Coffees.
Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. VP
109 Washington Street, Huntsville (Downtown, corner of
Washington and Clinton), 256-704-5555. 11 am – 2 am
everyday. Live music every night – SEE CALENDAR VP
109 North Side Square, Huntsville (Downtown on the
Square), 256-539-1919. Live Music, Full Bar & Extensive
Wine List.
5061 Maysville Road
New Market, 256-859-2824
JAMO’S CAFÉ
KENNY MANGO’S COFFEE SHOP & GALLERY
GREEN HILLS GRILLE
11537 Hwy. 231N., Meridianville, 256-828-3725
BLUE PLATE CAFE VP
FURNITURE FACTORY BAR & GRILL
2699 Sandlin Rd. SW, Decatur, 256-353-0007
MERIDIANVILLE BAR-B-QUE
121 S. Marion St, Athens, 256-216-1005, Books, Coffee,
Music and More. The coolest little book store in Athens.
Live music Friday nights. VP
KAFFEEKLATSCH
THE GARLIC PRESS
3319 Memorial Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-881-4851
8412 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-882-0841
735 Hwy 72 E, Huntsville, 256-852-9882
1715 6th Ave., SE, Decatur, 256-350-6969
OLE HICKORY PIT BBQ
109 Washington Street, Huntsville, 256-704-5555.
(breakfast & lunch). www.washingtonsq.com/
cottonrow.htm
2413-B Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-721-9491
Vegetarian fare, M-Thu: 11am-6 pm; Fri: 11am-3pm
619 Meridian Street N, Huntsville (just north of
Downtown), 256-539-8001. Live music on the patio. SEE
CALENDAR for details. VP
Don’t let this happen to you.
Take a deep breath, try to relax,
and...
EL PALACIO
PO BOY FACTORY
2008 Memorial Pkwy SW, Huntsville 256-539-6075
815 Andrew Jackson Way, Huntsville (in Five Points) 256539-3616. VP
TIM’S CAJUN KITCHEN
114 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-533-7589. VP
GUADALAJARA MEXICAN RESTAURANTS
11208 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville VP
256-882-7311 &
8572 Madison Blvd, 256-774-1401
Continued On Page 24
Advertise in the Valley Planet!
You’ll be glad you did! 858-6736
THE VALLEY PLANET
#012005020205
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
23
LUCIANO
FURNITURE FACTORY BAR & GRILL
964 Airport Road SW, Huntsville, 256-885-0505
619 Meridian Street N, Huntsville (just north of
Downtown), 256-539-8001. Live music on the patio. SEE
CALENDAR for details. VP
RICATONI’S ITALIAN GRILL
LA ALAMEDA
107 N. Court St., Florence, 256-718-1002
ROMANO’S MACARONI GRILL
5901 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-722-4770
3807 University Drive NW
VILLA FIORE VP
LITTLE ROSIE’S TAQUERIA
4781 Whitesburg Dr S, Huntsville, 256-882-0014
Authentic Gourmet Italian Cuisine.
11505 S. Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-881-7746
ROSIE’S MEXICAN CANTINA
(2 Huntsville locations)
6125 University Drive, 256-922-1001
7540 S. Memorial Pkwy, 256-382-3232
Mon–Sat. Lunch & Dinner.
5000 Whitesburg Dr, Huntsville, 256-883-9112
501 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-895-9199 VP
LA STRADA
12824 Hwy 431, Guntersville. European cuisine. 256-5822250. www.lastradabama.com
HARD DOCK CAFE
3755 U.S. Hwy. 31, Decatur, 256-340-9234 VP
ALLEN’S GRILLE & GROG
HOG WILD SALOON
4061 Independence Dr. NW, Huntsville, (one block N. of
University on Jordan Ln.), 256-830-1700.
THE BARN
HOOTERS
MIKAWA RESTAURANT
BENCHWARMER FOOD & SPIRITS
EDO JAPANESE RESTAURANT
104 N. Intercom Drive, Madison, 256-772-0360
MIKATO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & LOUNGE
9076 Madison Blvd, Madison, 256-772-8514. VP
2510 Ready Section Road, corner of Pulaski Pike, Toney
MIWON JAPANESE RESTAURANT
404 Jordan Lane NW
2998 University Drive, Huntsville 256-539-6268.
Lunch buffet, steaks, sandwiches. Live music, 12 ft. TV
screen, 7 big screens, 22 TVs. NASCAR Sundays, Dart
Tourneys (plastic & steel), Thursdays College Night w/DJ.
Open 7 days 10 am to 2 am. Dinner nightly. www.bench
warmersportsbar.com. VP
NIKKO JAPANESE RESTAURANT
BENCHWARMER, TOO!
SHO GUN JAPANESE STEAK & SUSHI BAR
BILLIARD STREET CAFE
TOKYO JAPANESE STEAK HOUSE & SUSHI BAR
BLACK WATER HATTIE’S
6565 Hwy. 431, Hampton Cove, 256-536-3690 VP
3991 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-534-3000.
Hibachi Tables & Sushi Bar.
1105 Wayne Road, Huntsville, 256-217-1719
975 Airport Rd SW, Huntsville, 256-213-9866
THAI GARDEN RESTAURANT VP
800 Wellman Ave. NE, Huntsville, 256-534-0122
CHINA MOON VP
11700 S Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-880-2626
Take Out or Eat In. Open 7 days.
Lunch Buffet Mon - Sat.
DING HOW II
4800 Whitesburg Dr., Huntsville, 256-880-8883
JADE PALACE VP
4925 University Drive NW, Huntsville,
256-536-7100
JOY LUCK RESTAURANT
VP
Pool tables, full menu. VP
10000 S. Memorial Pkwy. 256-489-3333.
Lunch & Dinner, full bar,great atmosphere. VP
7001 Val-Monte Drive, Covenant Cove Resort,
Guntersville, 256-582-0930. Happy Hour, Tu-Thr 4-7pm.
Great drinks and a walk-in humidor! Live Music, see
calendar for details. www.covenantcove.com/parrot.htm
VP
BOBBY G’S PLACE (2 Huntsville locations)
1009 Henderson Road, 256-837-4728 and 4070 Memorial
Pkwy S, 256-880-2590. Steaks, seafood, chicken and
wings. Live music & Karaoke. VP
BRICK DELI & TAVERN, THE
209-A 2nd Ave. SE, Decatur
256-355-8318. Live Music VP
3810 Wall Triana Hwy, Madison, 256-772-0511
DEUTSCHE KUCHE
418 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-534-4807. Authentic
German Foods & Beverages. VP
OL HEIDELBERG CAFÉ
6125 University Drive NW E14, Huntsville, (shopping
center next to Rosie’s), 256-992-0556.
TASTE OF D’ISLANDS
VP
2105 Mastin Lake Road, Huntsville, 256-851-9262.
Authentic Caribbean Cuisine
CASA MONTEGO INTERNATIONAL LOUNGE VP
2117 Jonathan Drive, Huntsville, 256-858-9187.
Your source for Authentic Caribbean & American
Food. Salsa, Rock, Reggae, Hip-Hop, R&B, Soul,
Merengue.
HEAVEN’S FARMACY
7908 Memorial Parkway S, Huntsville
256-880-2525. Fri & Sat nights Karaoke.
10300 Bailey Cove Rd SE Huntsville, 256-880-1202.
Full Mexican menu, dart tournaments. VP
CLUB MIRAGE
COPPER TOP BAR & GRILL
HOPPER’S
Holiday Inn-Research Park, 5903 University Drive,
256-830-0600, Karaoke and Live Music.
HUMPHREY’S BAR & GRILL
109 Washington Square, Huntsville, 256-704-5555. Beef,
seafood, sandwiches. Come for the food – Stay for the
Fun. Best Patio in Huntsville. Happy Hour every day 11 am
– 6 pm. Live music every night, no cover. Open 11 am – 2
am everyday. VP
JEMISON’S EATERY & PUB
350-A Market St. NE, Decatur, 256-351-0300. Open from
10:30 am Mon-Sat. Sandwiches, Pizza, Salads, Happy
Hour: Mon - Fri, 3 pm - 6:30 pm. VP
KAFFEEKLATSCH @NIGHT
103 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-536-7993.
Live Music nightly. VP
LICK SKILLET MUSIC BARN
1801 Charity Lane, Hazel Green, 256-828-5666. Live music
Fri. and Sat. Alcohol-free environment. Concessions available. www.lickskilletmusicbarn.com
Hwy 231/431, Hazel Green, 256-829-9100 VP
MARTINI’S OF MADISON
Ramada Inn, 8716 Madison Blvd, Madison,
256-772-0701. VP
MOODY MONDAYS VP
718 Church St, Huntsville, 256-533-4005
NEIGHBORHOOD HOT SPOT SPORTS BAR &
CAFE
1407 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-489-5201. VP
200 Q Oakwood Ave., Huntsville, 256-536-1150
Formerly Zesto’s in Five Points. Appetizers, sandwiches &
more. Karaoke & Live Music VP
OL’ BREWTAHN TAVERN
CORNER GRILL & PUB, THE
OTTER’S
VP
2704 Johnson Road, Huntsville, 256-880-3714. Live
entertainment. Sunday is NFL & Race Day. VP
(2 Huntsville locations)
10300 Bailey Cove Road SE, 256-880-2103.
129-A Old Highway 431,Hampton Cove
Burgers, steaks & sandwiches. Great food, live
entertainment nightly. Great neighborhood atmosphere.
Marriott Hotel, 5 Tranquility Base, Huntsville
256-830-2222. VP
CROSSROADS, THE VP
PHILBY’S POURHOUSE VP
721 Clinton Ave, Huntsville, 256-533-3393. Live Music 7
nights. www.crossroadsmusic.biz
DUGOUT SPORTS BAR, THE
VP
1550 6th Ave., Decatur,256-350-7390. Karaoke, Live Music,
NTN Trivia.
EMBER CLUB VP
10131 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-882-1670. Live
Music.
END ZONE, THE
VP
Sandwiches, steaks, and ribs. 22 TVs, 8 Satellites. Lunch &
Dinner every day. VP
2413B Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-721-5949
4730 University Drive, Huntsville, 256-722-0166. Wings,
seafood and sandwiches.
THE MAIN OFFICE
BROILER STEAK & SEAFOOD
4701 Meridian Street, Huntsville, 256-851-2920. Chicken,
steak, pasta and seafood.
BIERGARTEN CAFÉ VP
VP
VP
CHIPS & SALSA CANTINA
3782 University Dr. NW, Huntsville, 256-536-7100
8873 Highway 72 W, Madison, 256-430-0266 VP
BLUE PARROT MARTINI & CIGAR LOUNGE
SURIN OF THAILAND
24
3305 Bob Wallace Ave, Huntsville, 256-489-0055. 11am2am daily. VP
HALF TIME BAR AND GRILL
1405 Sunset Drive, Guntersville, 256-582-3106
1010 Heathland Dr, Huntsville, 256-837-7440.
Authentic Japanese Restaurant.
ITALIAN PIE
7904 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-882-9500. Great
Food for Lunch and Dinner. Mondays $0.35 Wings, Family
Atmosphere, Live Music on Wednesday & Thursday. NFL
Ticket on Sunday. Open 11 pm – 2 am, Mon–Sat, open at
noon - 2 am on Sundays. VP
ADRIAN’S
QDOBA MEXICAN GRILL
4800 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville 256-489-1367
GOAL POST, THE
3RD BASE GRILL
FINNEGAN’S PUB
VP
3310 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-881-9732
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
PEANUT FACTORY BAR & GRILL
903 Memorial Pkwy NW, Huntsville, 256-534-7092.
Burgers, sandwiches and steaks. VP
111 Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-512-5858.
Live entertainment.
ROCKABILLY’S SMOKEHOUSE GRILL
255 Pratt Avenue, Huntsville, 256-489-1831.
BBQ, ribs, chicken & burgers. VP
RUGGBY’S
Deli sandwiches, TVs, darts. VP
SAMMY T’S MUSIC HALL
116 Washington Street, 256-539-9974.
Best Live Music in Huntsville Thu – Sat. Open 6 pm – 2 am.
www.sammytsplace.com VP
Continued On Page 25
THE VALLEY PLANET
LISTINGS
TWO FEATHERS NATIVE AMERICAN GALLERY
7529-A S. Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-882-0078.
Native American Arts & Gifts. “Walking the Path of our
People” VP
(formerly Manhattans) Keep reading the Planet for
grand opening news.12740 Hwy. 431 S, Guntersville, 256571-0450. Happy Hour 10am-7pm. Patio for the bikers,
karaoke, jams.
WHITNEY DAVIDSON GALLERY
302 Hoffman St. Athens, 256-216-0903
www.footlightstheater.org
[email protected]
1220 South Memorial Parkway, Huntsville VP 256880-2044. Custom framing, fine art, digital imaging &
photography. www.uptowngallery.com
FOOTLIGHTS COMMUNITY THEATER
501 Church Street NW, Huntsville, 256-539-0063
HUNTSVILLE BALLET COMPANY
800 Regal Drive SW, Huntsville, 256-539-0961
WILLIS GRAY GALLERY
211 B Second Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-355-7616 VP
THE SHACK
HUNTSVILLE COMMUNITY CHORUS
105 Swancott Road, Triana 256-461-0227. The bar that
never closes! Live music Friday & Saturday.
SPORTS PAGE LOUNGE & DELI
VP
9009 Memorial Pkwy S, Huntsville, 256-880-9471. Plate
lunches, deli sandwiches. Live entertainment
THE STATION
8694 Madison Blvd., Madison, 256-325-1333. Live
entertainment. Lunch specials. Happy Hour 3 – 8 pm.
Open 7 days a week 11 am – 2 am. VP
STEVE’S BILLIARDS & LOUNGE
2322 Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-539-8919.
TABU & THE VIP ROOM
7200 Governors West, Huntsville, 256-830-1233.
www.theentertainmentcomplexhsv.com
T-BIRDS CAFE
1792 Hwy. 72 East, Huntsville, 256-852-9191. VP
TWILIGHT ZONE
VP
UPSCALE
VP
2140 Gunter Ave. in the Holiday Inn,Guntersville, 256582-2220
2021 Golf Rd, Huntsville, 256-881-8820
Dining & entertainment complex. Huntsville’s only openminded night spot. www.clubupscale.com
WAREHOUSE BAR & BILLIARDS
1117A Jordan Ln., Huntsville, 256-489-1117
Live Music Friday & Saturday. VP
WINGS SPORTS GRILLE
3312 Long Avenue, Fantasy Arts Center, Huntsville, 256533-6606
109 Gates Ave., Huntsville, 256-564-8100. Open daily, 9
am - 5 pm, except Sundays.
North Side Von Braun Center, Huntsville 256-539-4818.
AMERICAN INDIAN MUSEUM
2211 Seminole Dr., Huntsville, Art, Music, Film and Poetry.
See Calendar for Event Dates
2003 Poole Drive NW, Huntsville, 256-852-4524.
www.american-indian-museum.com
CATHEDRAL CAVERNS STATE PARK
637 Cave Road, Woodville. 256-728-8193 Open daily at
10 am.
CLAY HOUSE MUSEUM
16 Main Street, Madison 256-325-1018. Tour this antebellum home with “A Walk Through Time”, 100 years of decorative style from 1850 - 1950 featuring Noritake Porcelain.
COVENANT COVE RESORT & MARINA
7001 Val-Monte Drive, Guntersville
256-582-1000 or 888-288-COVE. Home of Blue Parrot
Martini & Cigar Lounge, Bistro La Luna & Wake Factory.
www.covenantcove.com VP
GORHAM’S BLUFF
5 POINTS GALLERY
401 Pratt Ave. NE, 256-539-9658
Tues-Fri 10am-6pm, Sat 10am-5pm. Featuring original
art by local/regional artists, handmade jewelry, antiques,
prints and custom framing. VP
801 FRANKLIN
801 Franklin Street, Huntsville, (Downtown by
Medical Center), 256-519-8019. Dine with fine art.
www.801franklin.com. VP
1214 Meridian Street N, Huntsville, 256-536-3434.
www.renaissancetheatre.net
3101 Burritt Drive SE, Huntsville, 256-536-2882.
Summer Hours (April - Oct): Tues- Sat 9am to 5pm Sun
noon to 5 pm. Regular Adm. fee is $5 adult, $4 senior,
military & students, $3 child (children under 2, free).
www.burrittmuseum.com
VISIONS
404 Madison Street SE, Huntsville, 256-564-8100.
Pisgah, 256-451-ARTS. The Gorham’s Bluff Institute is
a non-profit organization dedicated to providing arts
and cultural activities to Jackson County and Northeast
Alabama.
HARMONY PARK SAFARI
431 Clouds Cove Road, New Hope. 1-877-7ANIMAL. Drive
through animal exhibits. Open March through November.
HARRISON BROTHERS HARDWARE
124 Southside Square, Huntsville, 256-536-3631.
Alabama’s oldest hardware store.
HUNTSVILLE BOTANICAL GARDEN
ATHENS ST. STUDENT UNION ART GALLERY
300 N. Beaty St., Athens, Athens State University,
800-522-0272 VP
4747 Bob Wallace Avenue, Huntsville,
256-830-4447. The 110-acre garden is open year-round.
Summer Hours, Memorial Day through Labor Day: M-Sat,
9am-8pm; Sun, 1–8pm. $8 Adults, $6 Senior or Military, $3
Children ages 3-18.www.hsvbg.org.
ARTISTIC IMAGES
HUNTSVILLE STARS
2115 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-534-3968.
www.artisticimagesgallery.com VP
Joe W. Davis Stadium, 3125 Leeman Ferry Rd, Huntsville,
256-882-2562.
CAROLE FORET FINE ART
HUNTSVILLE HAVOC
206 West Market St., Downtown Square, Athens
256-232-2521. www.caroleforet.com VP
Professional Hockey, Eastern Hockey League. 700 Monroe
Street. Huntsville, AL 35801 (256) 518-6160.
DRAGONFLY GALLERY & DESIGN
THE LAND TRUST TRAILS
125 Main Ave. S., Fayetteville, TN, 931-433-3024
HUNTSVILLE ART LEAGUE GALLERY
3005 L&N Drive, Suite 2, Huntsville, 256-534-3860.
Monday-Saturday 10 am - 6 pm; Sunday 1-4 pm.
www.huntsvilleartleague.org. VP
HUNTSVILLE MUSEUM OF ART
300 Church Street So. in Big Spring International Park,
Huntsville. Gen. admission fee is $7 for non-members.
Discounts for seniors over 60, military, students with a
valid ID, and groups of 10 or more. Admission is half-price
for non-members on Thurs nights. Members & children
<6 free. Hours 1-5pm. Sunday; 10am-5pm. Mon-Sat;
extended hours on Th 5-8 pm. Call 256-535-4350 or
1-800-786-9095, or visit www.hsvmuseum.org. VP
Bankhead Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-534-LAND
Year-round hiking on 547 acres of Monte Sano preserve.
www.landtrust-hsv.org
MONTE SANO STATE PARK
5015 Nolen Ave., Huntsville, 256-534-3757
SCI-QUEST
102-D Wynn Drive, Huntsville, 256-837-0606.
An exciting hands-on science center.
www.sci-quest.org
TENNESSEE VALLEY VIPERS
Arena Football, American Conference Southern
Division. 700 Monroe St, Huntsville, VBC, 256-551-3240.
www.vipersaf2.com
KP ARTS
THREE CAVES
LADAGE ARTISTRY
US SPACE & ROCKET CENTER
100 North Main, Fayetteville, TN (on the square). This
gallery is a co-op. The showing artists work at the gallery
once or twice a month. Come in, check out some great
art and meet an artist. Mon-Sat 10am-5pm.
321 S. Jefferson, Athens,256-216-0039. Original
artwork by national artisits. Tue-Sat, 9 am-7 pm. http:
//ladage.dews.net. VP
MERIDIAN ARTS (2 locations)
305-A Jefferson Street, Huntsville, 256-534-7475.
M-F: 10 am – 6 pm, Sat: 10 am – 4pm; and 370 Little Cove
Road, Gurley, AL, 256-776-4300. Tu-F: 10 am – 6 pm, Sat: 10
am – 4 pm. www.Meridianarts.net. VP
MONDO DE TATUAGE GALLERY
Corner of 6th Ave. and 7th St., Decatur
256-306-9099. Fine art with a lowbrow twist. Submission inquiries welcome. Open Noon till 10 p.m., Tue-Sat.
Located inside Ink City Tattoo. VP
MVAC FINE ARTS GALLERY
300 Gunter Ave.,Guntersville, 256-582-1454.
Hours: Mon-Fri 9-4, Sat 10-3.
http://mountainvalleyartscouncil.org VP
SIGNATURE GALLERY
2364 Whitesburg Drive S, Huntsville,
256-536-1960. VP
THE VALLEY PLANET
Directions: Off California St., turn onto Hermitage, left
onto Kennemer Dr. Call The Land Trust at (256) 534-5263
to reserve your spot on a public cave tour or to arrange a
private tour for your group.
1 Tranquility Base, Huntsville, 256-837-3400. Open
9am-5pm year round except for Thanksgiving,
Christmas Eve and Day, and New Year’s Eve and Day.
Admissions: Museum only – Adults $12 & Child 3-12 $8,
www.spacecamp.com
VON BRAUN CENTER
700 Monroe St. Huntsville, 256-533-1953. Check calendar
for events. www.vonbrauncenter.com VP
THE WEEDEN HOUSE
300 Gates Avenue SE, Huntsville, 256-536-7718
ARS NOVA SCHOOL OF THE ARTS
7908C Charlotte Drive, Huntsville, 256-883-1105.
www.arsnovahsv.com
BROADWAY THEATRE LEAGUE
700 Monroe St. Suite 410, Huntsville
(all performances held at Von Braun Center)
256-518-6155. www.btleague.org
#012005020205
LOWE MILL
RENAISSANCE THEATRE AT LINCOLN CENTER
BURRITT ON THE MOUNTAIN: A LIVING
MUSEUM
EARLYWORKS MUSEUM COMPLEX
6404 University Dr. NW, Huntsville, 256-722-8247
HUNTSVILLE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA
ALABAMA CONSTITUTION VILLAGE
4250 Balmoral Dr. SW, Huntsville, 256-881-8878.
www.wingssportsgrille.com VP
VP
FLYING MONKEY ARTS CENTER
UPTOWN GALLERY
University of Alabama in Huntsville, 256-824-1000
SANDY’S ROADHOUSE
3312 Long Avenue SW, Huntsville, 256-539-6829
2211 Seminole Drive, Huntsville, 256-489-7000
Flying Monkey Arts Center is a not for profit community
arts collective that encourages, supports and promotes
the arts. www.flyingmonkeyarts.org VP
UNIVERSITY CENTER ART GALLERY
FANTASY PLAYHOUSE CHILDREN’S THEATRE
THEATRE HUNTSVILLE
Business Office. 1701 University Dr, Suite 1, Huntsville,
256-536-0807. www.theatrehsv.org.
CARMIKE CINEMAS
1359 Old Monrovia Road, Huntsville,
256-430-0770. VP
607 Fourteenth Street, Decatur, 256-350-0935
www.carmike.com. VP
MADISON BOWLING CENTER
8661 Hwy 72 W, Madison, 256-722-0015. VP
PLAMOR LANES
2404 Leeman Ferry Rd., Huntsville, 256-539-2785
VP
MONARCH LANES
2009 Bob Wallace, Huntsville, 256-534-9439.
MADISON BOWLING CENTER
8661 Hwy 72 W, Madison, 256-722-0015. VP
CHANDLER WHETHAM SALON & DAY SPA
7900 Bailey Cove Road, Ste. 7A, Huntsville
256-881-9573, 256-881-4980 VP
DR. EDDIE’S STEREO OUTLET
6777 Highway 431 S, Hampton Cove,
256-539-5554 www.dreddies.com
THE DREAM MAKER
11220 S. Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville, 256-883-8446. Promoting Harmony & Health through Nature. VP
THE FRET SHOP
309 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-430-4729. Guitar, Banjo,
Mandolin, Sales, Instruction and Repair.
www.thefretshop.com. VP
GARDEN OF HEALTH
Slender quest body wraps, auricular therapy, relaxation &
therapeutic massage, herbal & nutritional supplements,
bath & body products.
GREEN DOOR BOOKS
121 South Marion Street, Athens, 256-216-1005 Books,
Coffee, Music & More. VP
HAVEN: COMICS, ETC.
7185-H Highway 72 W., Madison, 256-430-0505
www.havencomics.com VP
HDK ENTERTAINMENT
North Alabama & Southern TN Premier Mobile DJ/
Karaoke Service. 256-509-2498
HIT VIDEOS & COLLECTIBLES
515 Jordan Lane, Huntsville, 256-830-6654 VP
HUMIDOR PIPE SHOP
Cigars, Pipes, Pipe Tobacco, Lighters, Accessories, Pipe
Repair. M-F 10-6.
www.humidorpipeshop.com VP
INTERIOR MARKETPLACE
Hwy. 431, Hampton Cove, Huntsville,
256-539-9113 VP
IT’S JUST LUNCH
256-519-3600. Dating for Busy Professionals
LADAGE ARTISTRY
321 S. Jefferson, Athens,256-216-0039.
Hair Salon, Day Spa & Art Boutique. Tue-Sat,
9 am-7 pm. http://ladage.dews.net VP
MAC RESOURCE
1570 The Boardwalk, Huntsville, 256-721-1700.
Apple Computer Specialist.
www.macresource-al.com
MAIN STREET SOUTH
7500 Memorial Pkwy SW, Huntsville. Pick up the Valley
Planet inside, under the clock tower. VP
NAUGHTY & SPICE
7914 S. Memorial Pkwy, Ste E-14, Huntsville (The Village
Center), 256-880-4884. We cater to all your romance
needs.
NEW HORIZONS COMPUTER LEARNING CENTER
620 Discovery Dr, Huntsville, 256-722-0211.
www.newhorizons.com
NONESUCH GIFTS
804 Wellman in 5 Points, Huntsville. A gift shop for openminded people. Celebrating the diversity of cultures and
lifestyles. www.nonesuchgifts.com VP
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
PAULI’S GOURMET FOOD & WINE CO.
7143-D Hwy. 72 W, Huntsville, 256-722-0071 VP
PEARLY GATES NATURAL FOODS
VP
2308 Memorial Pkwy., Huntsville, 256-534-6233
PRISM SPORTS THERAPY VP
4715 Whitesburg Drive, Huntsville, 256-880-7776
PRO FITNESS
714 Madison St, Huntsville, 256-489-4348
The largest personal training studio in North Alabama.
www.profitness-anytime.com VP
QUEST PERSONALS
256-704-1100. Call, Click, Connect
www.questpersonals.com
RAILROAD BAZAAR (5 locations) VP
200 Oakwood Ave., Huntsville,256-536-1222
7950 Hwy. 72 W, Madison, 256-721-9303
936 US Hwy. 72, Athens, 256-216-9383
1801 Beltline, Decatur, 256-353-8121
RED JASPER SPA
211 A 2nd Ave. SE, Decatur, 256-584-0027
www.redjasperspa.com VP
RED LIGHT VIDEO VP
2900-E Triana Blvd. Huntsville. Huntsville’s newest “All
Ratings” Superstore. VHS, DVD, Novelties, Magazines.
256-536-0482
RELAX 2 O
Madison Square Mall (256) 830-2877
Aqua Massage, Oxygen Bar. www.relax2o.com
ROBBINS MUSIC CENTER
2810 Bob Wallace Ave, Huntsville, 256-539-2474
1-800-569-6718. Mon-Sat 10-6, All instruments. All lessons. www.robinsmusic.com VP
RUSTY STRING GUITARS
820 Bradley St., Decatur, 256-355-6011. Specializing in
used Guitars & Amps, Drumsets. Only Hamer Dealer in
North Alabama. VP
SALON SALON
7525-A S. Memorial Pkwy, Huntsville 256-880-2466.
Waxing & Facials, Hair, Nails (manicures & pedicures),
Tanning, Full Retail Center. M-F 9-5, Sat 9-1. VP
SHAVER’S BOOK STORE
2362 Whitesburg Dr, Huntsville, 256-536-1604 VP
SOUND ON WHEELS
2807 University Dr., Huntsville, 256-533-9422 VP
STRINGS ‘N’ BRASS
409 Pratt Ave, Huntsville, (across from Sonic)
256-533-9088. www.stringsnbrass.com VP
SUNBURST RECORDS
4001 Holmes Ave., Huntsville 256-830-8079 VP
T SHEPARD’S DISCOUNT MUSIC
1900 S. Memorial Pkwy, 256-533-7944. Buy-Sell-TradeConsignment VP
WEST STATION ANTIQUES
112 Main Street, Madison, 256-772-0373.
565 to Exit 8 - Exit North to Main Street.
Hours: Tues-Sat 10-5. VP
Rasslin’s Back at TABU
January 28
25
Letter From the Publisher
continued from page 2
Your comment that Huntsville’s population
has a higher per capita income than Memphis
only reinforces the notion that Huntsville
should have more to offer than it currently
does. Madison County’s higher incomes and
lower costs of living create large disposable
incomes. Therefore, Huntsville should have
more ways for us to dispose of our extra
cash than it does.
I do agree with you about this: The less
drive-by-shootings, traffic, corruption and
venereal disease, the better. But I don’t
understand your point there, either. Unless
of course, you think that a new baseball
stadium, theater, park or entertainment
venue will cause pregnancy in unwed
women or any of the other problems you
mentioned. You don’t, do you?
If we roll back the years in Memphis
so that the population there is equal to
today’s population here, there is a huge
disparity in city amenities. My point is,
for a city our size, Huntsville is woefully
lacking in cultural, tourist, educational and
entertainment diversions.
Finally, if you think keeping Huntsville
“small” is a good thing, I am pretty sure
your team has the upper hand just about
any Saturday of any month you pick. I, on
the other hand, hope that Huntsville pushes
forward and tries to attract new jobs, new
businesses and new opportunities for its
citizens and their children.
As for Gibson’s versus Rendezvous, that
argument could go on forever. I’ll say this:
There is not much in this whole, wide world
better than good pork barbecue, whether
you’re in Memphis, Decatur or Rio de
Janeiro.
Milton A. Lamb Jr.
Statistician
I don’t understand your comment about
Bojangles, and I really don’t think I want
to, either.
Chuck Shepherd, photo Bob
Baggett Photography
LEAD STORY
Is It Safe Yet? The head of security
at Boston’s Logan Airport revealed in
December that travelers continue to
appear so unfamiliar with restrictions
that, three years after 9-11, his screeners
still seize 12,000 prohibited items per
month. Nationwide, the total since 2002
is nearly 17 million, including 2,200
guns, 79,000 box cutters and 5 million
knives. And in December, a Republican
congressman blasted the Department of
Homeland Security for making “a joke” out
of President Bush’s 2003 order to compile
a comprehensive list of potential domestic
terror targets. The list so far (of 80,000
sites) is termed by critics both too large
(unlikely targets inexplicably included) and
too small (imaginable targets inexplicably
left off).
City Council Tedium
In December, a California appeals court
ordered a re-hearing on a zoning case
because the petitioner, who was denied
an extension of business hours, had not
had a fair chance to argue to the Los
Angeles City Council. A videotape of the
hearing showed that, during petitioner’s
presentation, council members talked on
the phone or among themselves, wandered
around the room, and read their mail, and
the appeals court ruled that “due process”
requires them to pay attention.
Scenes of the Surreal
(1) Following the Dec. 5 Newtown, England,
charity Santa Claus race (in which 4,000
Saint Nicks in full costume competed),
26
police had to use
noxious spray and
nightsticks to break
up a brawl of about
30 Santas when the
festive spirit got out of
hand. (2) Researchers
at the Royal
Veterinary College
in Hatfield, England,
told New Scientist
magazine in December
that they’re studying
why ostriches are able to run so
fast (about 20 mph) even though they are
heavy (over 200 pounds) and awkwardgaited. The team’s work: They observe 15
ostriches running on treadmills.
Finer Points of the Law
In Durham, N.C., in December, gang
member Robert D. Johnson was sentenced
to 15 years in prison for shooting off the
genitals of a fellow Blood who was trying
to leave the group. The jury rejected an
even harsher penalty, for “malicious
castration,” settling on “nonmalicious
castration” because of evidence that
Johnson actually shot the man in the leg
but that the bullet just happened to exit
his thigh and hit his penis.
The Litigious Society
-- Mr. Jerry Colaitis of Old Brookville, N.Y.,
died of complications from spinal surgery
in 2001, and the next year, his family filed
a $10 million lawsuit blaming everything
on the Benihana Japanese restaurant
chain. Benihana hibachi chefs engage in
colorful hand acrobatics while skillfully
slicing and grilling food at tableside,
and on the night in question, Colaitis
flinched at a shrimp the chef had tossed
his way. The flinch jarred two vertebrae
in his neck, which eventually required
surgery and then a second surgery, after
which complications developed, leading to
Colaitis’ death. In November 2004, a judge
cleared the case for trial.
-- In February 2004, two 11-year-old
boys cut classes at the Ronan Middle
School in Ronan, Mont., found some
alcoholic beverages, and hours later died
of hypothermia in a snow-covered field. In
November, the parents of the two filed a
lawsuit, asking $4 million in damages from
the local public schools for not preventing
the truancy. School personnel should have
known, according to the lawsuit, that the
kids were of Native American heritage,
with a high rate of alcoholism in the
community, even though neither boy had
any alcohol-related incident on his record.
-- Ladell Alexander, serving a 16-year
sentence for molesting a child in a public
library in South Bend, Ind., filed a lawsuit
in 2004, asking for $4 million in damages,
charging that his predicament is actually
the fault of the library’s security company
because officers should have seen him with
the boy in a staff-only area of the building
and kicked him out before he could do
anything bad. (A federal judge dismissed
the lawsuit in December.)
-- In February 2004, a 20-year-old woman
stole OxyContin and Xanax from The
Medicine Shoppe pharmacy in Wood River,
Ill., and gave some to her boyfriend, Justin
Stalcup, 21, who died of an overdose the
next day. In December, Mr. Stalcup’s
family filed a lawsuit against The Medicine
Shoppe, claiming that the reason for their
son’s death was that the pharmacy didn’t
safeguard the drugs from the thief.
Least Competent Criminals
Floyd Elliot, 22, was charged in December
in Independence, Mo., with filing a false
police report by claiming an assailant
carved the vulgar slur “fag” on his
forehead. Police were immediately
suspicious because the letters were
backward (as if made by someone looking
in a mirror). Also in December, when
Nicholas J. Valeri, 19, was arrested for
allegedly passing a counterfeit $20 bill at a
Wendy’s restaurant in Hempfield Township,
Pa., he claimed innocence, saying that he
inadvertently acquired the bill shortly
before, while selling $240 worth of
marijuana.
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
#012005020205
Awesome!
In December, a wheel from a tractor-trailer
on Interstate 84 in Idaho (glowing hot
from an overheated bearing) came off,
rolled across a frontage road, and started
several fires after it crashed into the
home of Charisse Stevenson. According to
a report in the Times-News (Twin Falls,
Id.), Stevenson, seeing her 10-year-old son
trapped by flames on the second floor of
their home and separated by the red-hot
wheel, moved it out of the way (though it
weighs 250 pounds), scooped up her son
(135 pounds), and carried him to safety.
Afterward, of course, Stevenson was found
to be unable to lift either the wheel or her
son.
Unclear on the Concept
-- Dr. Mary Holley, an obstetrician who
heads Mothers Against Methamphetamine
in Albertville, Ala., offered this assessment
of meth at a December task force meeting
in Chattanooga, Tenn. (presumably
intending to discourage use of the drug):
“The effect of an (intravenous) hit of
methamphetamine is the equivalent of 10
orgasms all on top of each other lasting
for 30 minutes to an hour, with a feeling
of arousal that lasts for another day and a
half.” (But after about six months’ use, the
effects turn negative, she said.)
-- In Salt Lake City in November, federal
judge Paul G. Cassell, remarking that
mandatory-minimum sentencing laws gave
him no choice, sent a 25-year-old, smallquantity marijuana dealer to prison for 55
years (because he had a gun on him during
two of the transactions). Two hours before
that, in a crime Cassell described as far
more serious but not subject to the same
mandatory minimums, he sentenced a man
to 22 years in prison for beating an elderly
woman to death with a log.
More Things To Worry About
(1) Police in Denton, Texas, arrested
two teenagers in October and charged
them with robbing two visitors who were
passing through town from Montana; the
victims said they were on their way to
THE VALLEY PLANET
The Valley Planet Music Exchange is FREE to any individual looking to buy, sell, trade or find bandmates. You get a headline and 3 lines of text for
the low, low price of nothing. If you wish to embellish your ad further, say, with a small photo (add $5) or more words (add $1 per line), it’s up to
you. Now, if you are a business, you gotta pay a little something, $12 per column inch. Please call Matt Wake at (256) 858-6736 if you would like
to put your business in the Exchange. Email your ads to [email protected] or send them by snail mail to Music Exchange, P.O. Box 335,
Meridianville, AL 35759. NO AD WILL RUN UNTIL PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECEIVED!
Drummer Available, METAL
[email protected]
256.353.8944
AT STRING’S N BRASS
you get internet pricing AND
home town service EVERYDAY
.Unbelivable pricing on guitars &
amps with great technical support
. 409 Pratt ave. 533-9088
12-6 daily
SAX PLAYER
Reggie “Buga” Smith. Available
for gigs, parties and special
occassions.
256.882.0879
SUCCESSFUL LOCAL BAND
looking for business-minded
booking agent to book dates in
the southeast region
Call for Interview 256-426-1525
Acoustic Guitar For Sell
Seagull Artist Series w/ LR Baggs
Pickup $600
For info e-mail:
[email protected]
DRUMMER WANTED
for Reggae Mystics
Must be easy going & love
reggae. Willing to do original
material and record
Zuva @ 256.348.0744
MUSICIANS WANTED
Mountain Valley Arts Council is
reviewing its Lakeside Summer
Concert 2005 booking season.
MOVA Arts Festival finalists
are automatically considered.
Other musicians can send CD,
tape or video, photograph and
contact info to MVAC Booking
Committee, 300 Gunter Ave,
Guntersville, AL 35976.
PRO DRUMMER
Seeks country band
Chris @ 256.222.6440
SINGER
Local emo/screamo band
Must be dedicated, age 16-25
Influences: Taking Back Sunday,
Yellow Card, Brand New, Linkin
Park, Blink 182, The Used.
Jeff @ 529.0132
BASS PLAYER NEEDED
For original 5 piece rock band.
Must have own gear and be
able to practice 1-2 times/week.
No drugs, no egos. InfluencesNirvana, Pearl Jam, Sex Pistols,
Radiohead. Donnie @ 216.0903
BASS PLAYER NEEDED
Classic rock, blues, originals
233.0619 home,
431.0677 cell
EXPERIENCED Guitar Player
needed for collaboration on
melodic rock songs.
Call david @ 256.705.5253
between 8-5
Ironies
A 59-year-old veteran NASCAR driver from
Scottsdale, Ariz., was killed in November
when he fell off of a Segway scooter
(going 5 mph) at a Las Vegas go-cart race
and hit his head. And in China’s Guangxi
Zhuang region in September, five people
asphyxiated while conducting a ceremony
in a dangerous lead mine (frequently shut
down by the government), including a
prominent feng shui expert there to advise
on improving harmonic energy flow. And
in Aliquippa, Pa., in October, a 28-year-old
man was electrocuted on his first day at
work as an electrician.
GUITARIST
Bassist & Drummer looking for
guitarist for new project.
Loud, aggressive, vintage rock
with old school punk elements
(The Who, Fleshies, Stooges,
Husker Du).
Andrew / Ken @ 894.7107
MUSICIANS WANTED
Versatile, experienced musicians
wanted. Lead guitar, bass, drums,
keys. Practice 1-2 times a week.
Serious inquiry only.
Call Ashley @ 256.931.2111
CHRISTIAN DRUMMER
needed for metal band,
“Mindsize,” Influences - Pantera,
older Pantera, Machinehead, etc.
Jonathan @ 256.244.9311
(after 4 p.m.)
2ND GUITARIST NEEDED
for hardcore band
Influences: Deftones, Mudvayne,
Nothingface, Coal Chamber, Tool,
Sevendust, etc.
Justin 256.337.5827
Drivin’ South Blues/Rock band
looking for experienced vocalist.
Must have equipment and be
able to sing the blues.
Call 256-498-0732 for audition.
Baton Rouge, La., because they needed
money and had read on the Internet that
a medical school would pay $100,000 for
testicles. (2) The Dutch retirement home
Seniorenpand, in Rotterdam, bills itself
as the world’s only old-age community for
incorrigible heroin addicts and has a long
waiting list for its few rooms, according
to a December dispatch in The Scotsman.
(One satisfied resident bragged that he had
some “pretty good stuff” the night before.)
THE VALLEY PLANET
Experienced Drummer for Hire
12+ yrs experience live/studio.
Extremely versatile. References available. Isaac Gibson
[email protected]
256-318-5507
PEDAL STEEL PLAYER
Available, Tom Stolaski @
256.420.8807
Super-Tolerant People
-- A St. Paul Pioneer Press reporter,
interviewing neighbors of the people who
shared a St. Croix Falls, Wis., home that
was condemned after being overrun with
450 cats, found that most neighbors had
failed to notice the house’s putrid smell.
Several said that the awful odor from
the neighborhood’s fish hatchery and the
awful odor of the neighborhood’s sewage
treatment plant probably overrode the
awful odor of the house.
-- Brigham Young University’s Newsnet
reported in November on Marilyn and
Elton Pierce of Provo, Utah, who because
their telephone number is easily confused
with a BYU information line, estimate they
have received 25,000 wrong-number calls
in 14 years (averaging to five per day).
Marilyn, in her 70s, said she didn’t have
the couple’s number changed because she
doesn’t mind the calls and in fact rather
enjoys talking to people.
Least Competent People
A 39-year-old man in Chillicothe, Ohio,
was hospitalized in December after
an unsuccessful suicide attempt that
accidentally blew his own house to pieces
#012005020205
and did heavy damage to neighboring
homes. The man had turned on the natural
gas to kill himself, but then realized that
other houses might be in danger, and just
as he dashed to the basement to turn
off the electricity, the house exploded
(probably from an electrical spark) and
was leveled. A month before, the man
had tried to kill himself with automobile
exhaust and a garden hose, but his car ran
out of gas before he could die, and he then
hooked up a propane tank for the same
purpose, but once again, he outlived his
fuel supply.
Readers’ Choice
Paul Eugene Levengood, owner of the
Tasty Flavors Sno Biz dessert shop in
the Chattanooga, Tenn., suburb of Red
Bank, was charged with two counts of
sexual battery in November when two
19-year-old female employees said he had
occasionally spanked them for workplace
errors (for example, once for forgetting
to put a banana into a smoothie drink). A
defensive Levengood pointed out that the
women had each signed a form, “I give
Gene permission to bust my behind any
way he sees fit.” Police found at the store
VOLUME 3, ISSUE 1
many photographs of women’s posteriors,
even though a Sno Biz executive called
Levengood a “very Christian person.”
Update
In 2002 News of the Weird reported that
H. Beatty Chadwick had served 6 1/2
years in jail in suburban Philadelphia for
civil contempt of court for not producing
$2.5 million in marital assets that he was
supposed to split with his ex-wife, with
the U.S. jail record for contempt believed
to be 10 years. As of October 2004, he is
still in jail, closing in on the record, and
the amount owed is up to $4.2 million,
with Chadwick sticking to his defense that
the money had long since been spent. Said
Chadwick’s lawyer, “This (nonexistent)
money is like the weapons of mass
destruction in Iraq. We are the Saddam
Hussein of the marital world.” [Washington
Post, 11-11-04]
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd
P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL 33679
or [email protected]
or go to www.NewsoftheWeird.com.)
COPYRIGHT 2004 CHUCK SHEPHERD
DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL PRESS
SYNDICATE 4520 Main St., Kansas City, Mo. 64111;
(816) 932-6600
27
BARTENDER
TESS GRELLA @ THE CORNER 13%
KEVIN WESLEY @ RUGGBY’S 12%
JEFF
ENGLISH
@
KAFFEEKLATSCH
10%
ALISA@ 3rd BASE, BRIAN & MATT @ 801 FRANKLIN, LISA @ ADRIAN’S, STEVE & STU @ APPLEBEE’S, ANGELA @ BENCHWARMER, CYNDI
@ BENNIGAN’S, BJ @ BLACKWATER HATTIE’S, CARLOS @ CASA BLANCA, MICHELLE @ THE CORNER, J-MAR & RACHEL @ THE CORNER
HAMPTON COVE, MEG, DAVE, JEFF & TREVOR @ CROSSROADS, BRUCE @ FINNEGAN’S, NICOLE & STACY @ FURNITURE FACTORY, BETTY @
HOG WILD, STEVE @ HOPPER’S, BILLY, BLAKE, BRIAN, CHRISTINA, GLENN & JOHN @ HUMPHREY’S, BRIAN, DAVE & JOHN @ JAZZ FACTORY,
ANGEL & BECCA @ KAFFEEKLATSCH, JERRY @ LE BISTRO DU SOLEIL, GEORGE @ PAULI’S CHOPHOUSE, MATT @ PAULI’S BAR & GRILL, JMAR & VICKY @ PHILBY’S, HEATHER, KRISTINE & SANDY @ PEANUT FACTORY, BOB @ PLAMOR, COURTNEY @ SAMMY T’S, JONI @ PORT OF
MADISON, FREDDY @ SPORTS PAGE, DREW @ THE STATION, BEN, JASON & ROBBY @ T.G.I. FRIDAY’S, HANSON @ VINYL AND ANGIE @ THE
BAR WE ARE FORBIDDEN TO MENTION.
COMMENTS FROM BEST OF THE VALLEY:
Deutsche Kuche has the best
German beer!
Drink More, Eat Less.
Tip your bartender!
We miss Jen & Jeff at the Tavern
Not enough alcohol in mixed drinks
Try them all!!!
Open that martini room
Brian makes the BEST screaming
orgasm
Coldest Beer = The Brick
Close between George, Brian, Kevin
& Tess.
Have a designated driver or call a cab.
Humphrey’s, we needed that!
Olde Towne Brewing Company good brews, good brewmaster
Apple Martini @ Surin
Drink, drink, drink, drink
In Heaven there is no beer
Try the Port of Madison and be very
surprised!
George at the Chophouse makes the Freddy is awesome!
BEST Manhattan
Furniture Factory & Nicole are the
GREATEST!
I love Stout
BEER, GOOD!
You simply can’t beat the Blue Parrot

applebees mango martini

Transcription

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