January 2015 - Newfoundland and Labrador Foster Families

Newfoundland & Labrador
Foster Families Association
Winter Edition
January 2015
Greetings from Chair
Regional Reports
Teen’s Corner
Executive Director Report
Foster Parents Share Experiences
Children’s Pages
Greetings from Minister Collins
Voices of Youth
Educational Section
There’s something bout a winter storm
That brings a calmness to our town
Brings a quiet to the covered streets
When the snow falls all around.
It makes the children want to play
Brings laughter to their smiles
They yearn to build their snowmen
Makes the coldness all worthwhile.
Yes what could be more beautiful?
Than this wonderland of snow
The trees a crystal blanket
With the wind that softly blows.
There's something bout a winter storm
That fills the heart with glee
And even from the window
The beauty we can see.
EXECUTIVE OFFICERS
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Beverley Walsh
(Chair)
Lynn Eddy
(Vice-Chair)
Pam Anstey
(Treasurer)
Coralee Roberts
CENTRAL REGION
(Secretary)
Coralee Roberts
Triton, NL
Joy Arnold
Glovertown, NL
LABRADOR REGION
Perry Chubbs
Happy Valley-Goose Bay, NL
Rosie Lucy
Hopedale, NL
GRENFELL REGION
Marilyn Bridle
Red Bay, NL
N.L.F.F.A. STAFF
Diane Molloy
Executive Director
[email protected]
Vacant
Julie Fudge
Social Worker
[email protected]
Beverley Walsh
CBS, NL
Eunice Fillier
Roddickton, NL
WESTERN REGION
Jim Cox
Corner Brook, NL
ST. JOHN’S REGION
Claire Hutchings
St. John’s, NL
EASTERN REGION
Elizabeth Joy
Administrative/Financial Assistant
[email protected]
Lynn Eddy
Clarenville, NL
Newfoundland and Labrador Foster
Families Association
Suite 105, 21 Pippy Place
St. John’s, NL, A1B 3X2
Tel: 754-0213
Fax: 754-5007
Toll Free: 1-877-754-0218
E-mail: [email protected]
Web: www.nlffa.ca
Fronie Blake
Hants Hr, NL
Department of Child, Youth
and Family Services
Representative
Regional Child, Youth
and Family Services
Representative
Cathy Morris
St. John’s, NL
Barry Rice
Baie Verte, NL
Community Representative
Youth Representative
Pam Anstey
St. John’s, NL
Natasha Mercer
St. John’s, NL
Executive Members of the Regional Local Associations
Avalon Region
Central Region
Eastern Region
Grenfell Region
Labrador Region
Western Region
St. John’s
Kittiwake
Bay Roberts/Hr. Grace
Pride and Joy
Lake Melville
South West
Claire Hutchings
Terry Arnold
David Melvin
Dawn Evelley
Sonya Mercer
Fronie Blake
Donna Smith
Joyce Rodgers
Paula Clements
Eunice Fillier
Petrina Smith
Louise Lavallee
Jackie Kippenhuck
Faye O’Quinn
Patsy Fudge
Pauline Pardy
CBS
Exploits Central
Clarenville/Bonavista
Nain
Corner Brook-Bay of
Islands
Tina Samson
Jill Taylor
Bev Walsh
Coralee Roberts
Lorraine England
Jan Folkes
Lynn Eddy
Melvina Elliott
Cindy Hayward
Alice Pilgrim
Stephanie Lowe
Melinda Murrin
Amanda Murrin
Linda Corbett
Burin Peninsula
Hopedale
Janet O’Keefe
Evelyn Walsh
Pauline White
Holly Reid
Rosie Lucy
Nicole Shuglo
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Greetings from Board Chair
Well here we are with another year ahead of us and the month of January is almost over. Where does the time
go? I want to wish you all Happy New Year and all the best in the year ahead. I hope you all had a great
Christmas with your family and friends. Christmas is one of my most favorite times of year. Somehow, we all get
through the running around and rushing but when it is all done, you get to sit back and realize what is most
important... spending time with the people you love and appreciate during the most festive and loving time of year.
It makes you realize what really does matter.
We are currently updating the Association Policy Manual which includes our personnel, financial and board
policies. We are also putting some finishing touches on the Foster Parent Handbook which will be going to print
very soon. Planning is ongoing for our Annual Symposium which will be held the weekend of June 5 - 7, 2015 at
the Ramada Hotel in St. John’s. I really hope many of you take the opportunity to attend this year. It is an
excellent weekend of learning and networking with other foster parents and social workers who share our passion
for caring for children.
In February the Board will be traveling to Grand Falls-Windsor for a Capacity Building weekend. The focus of
this get-together will be to bring members of our Local Associations and other foster parents together who are
interested in taking a leadership role in supporting the development and strengthening of Local Associations. We
are also hoping to have another in-person Board meeting and training day in March 2015 which will be held in
Corner Brook.
Mabel Anderson has been an ex-officio Director on our Board for eight years representing the Department of Child,
Youth and Family Services. As a result of her changing responsibilities, Mabel is now being replaced by Cathy
Morris. I want to express our appreciation to Mabel for her years of dedication. Mabel made a great contribution
to the Association and will be greatly missed! Cathy comes to our Board bringing an abundance of experience
and knowledge. I would also like to welcome Barry Rice, Zone Manger, with Child, Youth and Family Services as
a new ex-officio Director. We are looking forward to working with Barry and Cathy.
In concluding, I would also like to remind all our foster parents to try and get out to your local meetings. Being
involved feels great and there is always something new you leave with!
Take care and enjoy the rest of this winter. I hope we will not have much snow to shovel.
Bev Walsh, Chair
Fostering a Network: Building, Supporting and Strengthening our Locals
February 20-22, 2015
The development of strong active Local Associations is one of the goals of the Provincial Association and as most
of our foster parents know this goal has been met with varying degrees of success throughout the province. In
many areas, we have experienced challenges with getting the locals established and maintaining foster parent
participation. Local Associations give foster parents an opportunity to gain support, participate in social activities,
share ideas, advocate for change, participate in educational opportunities and build partnerships.
In an effort to to increase our number of active Local Associations and to determine how to best strengthen and
support locals over time, we are bringing together some foster parents and liaison social workers for a week-end
of skill building and networking. We are looking forward to 2015 being a year of growth for our Locals.
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Executive Director’s Report
Happy New Year! Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas season shared with family and friends. May 2015
bring you lots of happiness and joy. I am so happy the snow has been later arriving this year. While I do enjoy
occasional snow shoeing and ice fishing adventures, winter is certainly not my favorite season.
In early November, Julie and I met an early winter storm in Goose Bay as we were traveling to the North Coast.
Unfortunately, this delay prevented us from meeting with our foster families in Makkovik. We were still able to
make our meetings in Nain and Hopedale. In Nain, we had a wonderful evening gathering which concluded with
mother nature treating us to the beautiful Northern Lights. Special thanks to the children who ran into the meeting
to tell us the lights were out and then shared some stories with us. It was truly an amazing experience! We also
had a good turnout at the meeting and there was agreement that it would be good to get a local Association
reactivated in the community. Julie also did presentations at both schools in the community where the young
people shared their hunting experience with her and showed her how to find her house on Google Earth. Although
we only had a small turnout for our meeting in Hopedale, there was
lots of good fostering discussion. The meeting was held in the
Nunatsiavut Government Assembly Building and we were treated to a
Highlights/Ongoing Work
tour of the building following our meeting. Thanks Mary! In the evening
we had the opportunity to attend a community bonfire which was lots
•
Regional Visits
of fun. Before heading to the airstrip in the morning, we met with staff
•
School Presentations
at Child, Youth and Family Services. In Goose Bay, we attended a
•
Networking
potluck supper with some of our foster parents and the foster care
•
Personal Support
social workers. Julie also did presentations at the schools in Goose
•
Allegation Support
Bay while I met with Child, Youth and Family Services staff.
•
Capacity Building Event
Unfortunately, we were unable to arrange a meeting with foster
•
Handbook
families in Sheshatshiu this time. I will be traveling to Natuashish in
•
2015 Symposium Planning
early March to attend a foster parent gathering and am hoping to
arrange a meeting in Sheshatshiu around the same time.
Julie and I made our second trip to Labrador in December when we travelled to Labrador City. Turnout for our
meeting with foster parents was low, but it was still an opportunity to talk about the work of the Association and
fostering in the area. Presentations were done at schools in Labrador City and Wabush and I met with Child,
Youth and Family Services staff. I also met with staff at the Newfoundland and Labrador Credit Union and showed
them our Different Kinds of Families presentation. This was an opportunity to thank the staff for their participation
in the annual walk-a-thon which provided funding for us to take the presentation to more schools in the province.
In early January I met with Donna O'Brien, Assistant Deputy Minister, Services Delivery & Regional Operations;
Rick Healey, Assistant Deputy Minister, Policies and Programs; Michelle Shallow, Director of Child Protection and
In-Care; and Cathy Morris, Program & Policy Development Specialist. The primary purpose of this meeting was
to talk about the importance of ensuring foster families are adequately supported as they care for children placed
in their homes. We had some good discussion about what support actually looks like and why it is so crucial.
Over the last couple of months we have been working with the Department to get an accurate list of foster families
in the province. It has only been in the last few years that there is a requirement in policy for the Association to
be notified when a new home opens or a home closes; as a result, our list has not always been accurate. Once
our list is updated and the new policy requirements are consistently met, we will no longer be carrying closed
homes, and all active homes will be connected to the Association.
In closing, I want to extend sincere sympathy to the family and friends of Marilyn Martin and Ron Williams, two
of our foster parents who passed away in January. Our thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
Diane
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Regional Reports
Central Region
Exploits Central Foster Families Association
Happy New Year Everyone!
In February (will call you on the actual date and time) we plan to have a valentines get together in Springdale. We
will be watching the movie Frozen (or a newer release). Please join us for popcorn and a chance to win the movie.
We are looking forward to seeing everyone come out for this event.
I trust everyone had a great healthy Christmas. May you always be reminded of the wonderful investment you
are putting into the beautiful children of our province. Thanks foster parents :) You are valued so much!
As we begin another year, if you have any good ideas to help us plan different activities, please feel free to let me
know through my inbox on facebook or email me at [email protected]. I appreciate all your input.
Remember we are all in this for the same reason…making a difference in the life of a child.
I would like to wish you all the best in 2015! We all look forward to a highly successful, healthy and productive
year.
Coralee Roberts, Director
Kittiwake Central Foster Families Association
It's a new year, one filled with adventures and opportunities around every turn. As we take a step back from all
of the hustle and bustle of our big celebrations, we can see fresh waves coming quickly. As this new year starts
rolling into motion, we as a family want nothing more than to fill this year with new adventures and opportunities
overflowing with knowledge and excitement. Our wish is for new connections to be made with not only our children
and youth but also between Foster Parent and Foster Parent that we grow as a community and develop into
something better than ever before. Let us not waste this new year, but let us rise and grow with it each day.
Make this new year all about new things, and enjoy.
Joy Arnold, Director
Eastern Region
Clarenville/Bonavista Foster Families Association
Happy Belated Holidays... I hope everyone had a great holiday with family and friends.
In December the Clarenville/Bonavista Local had a Christmas party at Velocity in Clarenville. Velocity is a
wonderful recreational place that has bouncy castles, tunnels, rock climbing, gym and gym toy equipment , and
a place to have a meal also. Five families from the Bonavista area travelled to Clarenville on the 20th of December
and were joined by two families from the Clarenville area. The party was held from 4-7 with supper at 5:30. All the
food for supper was donated. A huge shout out to McDonalds for their generosity; they provided enough food for
all the children that came! Thank you so much McD's! Pizza was donated from Donnini's, KFC, Sobeys provided
all the drinks, and some foster parents brought food also. Thank you so much everyone!!! Some prizes were
collected and draws were made suppertime and everyone went home with at least one! At the end loot bags were
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
given to the children. The foster parents in attendance said many times that this was the best party we have ever
had. The party was a huge success and so much fun was had by all. Due to unforeseen circumstances Laurie Ann
Connors could not attend and we missed her greatly. While the party was in progress, other ideas were brought
up for future get togethers with suggestions like a sliding party. Hopefully, we will be able to do this! Thank you
to all who came, brought food, talked & laughed, it was a delightful evening...you all Rock!
On a personal note...when I spoke with you all at the party, I laughed at how I had my hand broke...well my bad
luck continued with a Murphys Law vengeance, with many things to deal with over the holidays, one of which was
spending Christmas Eve and 2 more days in the hospital with a sick child I had in my care. At 11:30 p.m. on
Christmas Eve, I was determined to have a tree in my child’s room at the hospital to wake up to along with her
presents. I left the hospital for a brief time only to return to a full size Christmas tree the nurses had dragged into
her room with a note on it "saying santa found her"...it was at this moment that I was overcome with emotion and
human kindness. I broke down in tears. My reason for adding this note is to let everyone know that I am proud to
be a foster parent, to give till it hurts, to love till my heart breaks because we drag more than trees everyday for
the children we care for than anyone will ever know.
Yours in fostering
Lynn Eddy
Burin Peninsula Foster Families Association
Just a little note from the Burin Peninsula Local. It's been a pretty quiet winter so far. We had our usual Halloween
and Christmas parties in which the children had lots of fun playing games, getting some treats and, of course, a
present from Santa himself. The foster parents in our area also enjoyed a nice dinner to celebrate foster families
week. We went to a nice restaurant with our social worker and all adults; it was a nice change!
We have a meeting planned for January 27th to discuss a few things happening in our area. That's all for now;
don't forget to enjoy the snow; it is a wonderful source of fun for kids and adults alike.
Evelyn Walsh, Co Chair
Bay Roberts/Harbour Grace Foster Families Association
Happy New Year!
It is hard to believe that another year has come and gone. I trust that you had a wonderful Christmas and you got
to spend your time with friends and family.
I am excited to report that we had our first local meeting in Harbour Grace in November and had an awesome
turnout. Diane gave a brief overview of NLFFA, and we now have a meeting scheduled for January 29 at 7 p.m.
to form the executive for our local. To all our Foster Parents I hope you can attend this important meeting, and
we can continue to support each other!
I continue to work with our Capacity Building Planning Committee preparing for our capacity building event
February 20-22 in Grand Falls-Winsor. This will help us build better and stronger local associations to work and
support each other.
Thank you all for your dedication and commitment and for reaching out and getting involved.
Fronie Blake, Director
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Western Region
Southwest Foster Families Association
Happy New Year to all our Foster Families from our Local on the Southwest Coast. Everything is still going well,
and we all enjoyed Christmas with our children. We will be trying to get together in the near future when things
get back on track from this busy time of year. Take care and be safe.
Pauline Pardy, Secretary
Corner Brook-Bay of Islands Foster Families Association
Happy New Year! The past few months have been busy for the foster families in Corner Brook/Bay of Islands.
I attended a Tattered Teddies Workshop offered through the Blomidon Place in Corner Brook on November 20.
It was attended by foster parents, social workers, and other professionals dealing with youth. It was about
recognizing suicidal behaviors in children. Great presentation. On November 27, a FASD 101 Workshop was held
in Corner Brook. It was open to the public and four Foster Moms attended. It was a great workshop with great
presenters. They were Laura Casey-Foss, Developmental Psychologist at Western Health and Dave Martin from
Key Assets. It had awesome feedback from the participants. I would highly recommend this to foster families.
On December 21, foster families were treated to an hour of skating donated by the Pepsi Center. We also had
a pot-luck type lunch. Santa then came and brought the kids a present! A great time was had by all!
We are currently arranging a meeting to be held at the CYFS office in Corner Brook. A letter will be sent to all
foster families with the date and time. We hope to see everyone attend.
Stephanie Lowe, Chair
Labrador Region
Hopedale Foster Families Association
Hoping that everyone had a peaceful - but fun - Christmas season! Here in Hopedale there were lots of activities
and events to keep families busy. These included community Christmas parties for both young and old, a
community tree lighting with carols sung in both Inuktitut and English, and Christmas caroling (and cookie delivery)
to the elders of Hopedale. The children were especially excited that Santa came to visit them FOUR times over
the Christmas season (giving the reindeer a little rest on one of these occasions by flying in on a twin otter
airplane)!
Hopedale was especially blessed to receive a generous donation of warm winter clothing from ACW St. John the
Baptist Church in Chapel Arm which was shipped to Hopedale in time for Christmas courtesy of Provincial Airlines.
This gift was particularly welcome given that extremely cold temperatures have 'settled in' which have kept many
indoors and have even resulted in frequent school cancellations. Back in November, Hopedale welcomed Diane
Molloy and Julie Fudge of the Provincial Foster Families Association who met with foster parents at the beautiful
Nunatsiavut Assembly Building. Arriving on Guy Fawkes (Bonfire) Night, the ladies came along to a community
bonfire where they gave the children glow bands that they had brought with them - much to the delight of all the
children!
Here's hoping that everyone keeps warm through the winter and has a wonderful 2015!
Nicole Shuglo, Co-Chair
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Lake Melville Foster Families Association
Hello everyone, Happy New Year to each of you.
I want to let you know that we have our local meetings up and running again and would love to get each and
everyone of our foster families involved. We invite you to join in on our meetings and have some fun with us as
we carry out different activities with the children.
In early November, we had the privilege of Diane and Julie attending one of our meetings, where we decided to
have a meet and greet and a chat instead of just sitting around in a meeting like we have done in the past. It was
an ideal get together but we wished we had more people show up for it. We had a chat and I must say it went over
really well.
In December we had a Christmas party which was held at the Nunatsiavut Building on Court Real Road and had
a great turnout of 67 people attend which was amazing. We had Santa Claus show up and give out some gifts
to the kids which they loved.
Our meetings will now be running the last Thursday of each month at 7pm in the evening and we hope to see each
and everyone attend out meetings and take part in the activities.
Hope to see you all there!!
Petrina Smith, Chair
St. John’s Region
St. John’s Foster Families Association
Happy New Year! It's hard to believe that we're a month into 2015 already. Time certainly flies when you're
fostering!
With the New Year comes renewed plans to get the St. John's local up and running. This will be a great
opportunity for people to come together and meet other foster families. Plans are underway and St. John's area
foster families will be hearing from us soon.
The need for foster parents continues to be great. Word of mouth is the best form of recruitment, so continue
encouraging friends and family to consider fostering.
Claire Hutchings, Director
2015 Annual Symposium
June 5-7, 2015
Ramada Hotel
St. John’s
Start making your plans now to attend this weekend of
educational opportunities, fun and team building.
It might just be one of the best things you could do for yourself this year!
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Notice of Election Year for Board Directors
2015 is an election year for our Board of Directors. The present Directors will be completing their
two year terms in June at the completion of the Annual General Meeting. While some Directors can be
re-elected for a second two year term, others are completing their second term and have to leave. The
Board is comprised of twelve foster parents, a youth Director, a community Director and two government
representatives (ex-officio).
We would encourage all foster parents to consider this opportunity to represent foster families in your
region at the provincial level. Participation on the Board is a great opportunity for personal and
professional development. If you are interested in one of these positions, contact your local association;
or if there is no local in your area, contact the office to express your interest. If elections are required,
they will be co-ordinated by the local or in the absence of a local, by the office through mail-in ballots.
Status of Current Foster Parents on the Board:
Eastern Region
Lynn Eddy
Fronie Blake
completing her second two year term, New Director needed
completing first two year term, eligible for re-election for one more term
St. John’s Region
Claire Hutchings
Beverley Walsh
completing term of David Randall, eligible for two terms in her own right
completing second two year term, New Director needed
Central Region
Coralee Roberts
Joy Arnold
completing first two year term, eligible for re-election for one more term
completing first two year term, eligible for re-election for one more term
Western Region
Jim Cox
Vacant
completing first two year term, eligible for re-election for one more term
New Director needed
Grenfell Region
Eunice Fillier
Marilyn Bridle
completing her second two year term, New Director needed
completing her second two year term, New Director needed
Labrador Region
Perry Chubbs
Rosie Lucy
completing term of Mervin Bridle, eligible for two terms in his own right
completing second two year term, New Director needed
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Photovoice
We have just completed our first Photovoice program in partnership with Henry’s Photography. The
program ran for five Monday nights and ended with a pizza party and one young person being the lucky
winner of a Nikon Coolpix camera. Special thanks to the family of the late June Petten for the donations
in her memory which made the purchase of the camera possible.
Above you can see some of the beautiful pictures taken by the young people. Program participants not
only learned to use and care for a camera, they also walked away with greater confidence in themselves
and their ability to express themselves through photography.
A huge thank you is extended to Andrew Lloy of Henry’s Photography for organizing and teaching this
program. Andrew not only shared his expertise with the group but also his warm personality and sense
of humor. He challenged the young people to think outside the box and believe that they could achieve
anything they decided to pursue in their lives. Special thanks to Bev Walsh for being an adult supporter
and Pam Anstey for pinch hitting when Julie and I were in Labrador. Your support was greatly
appreciated!
“Photography is the only language that can be understood anywhere in the world”
Bruno Barbey
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Foster Family Week Contest Winners Presentations
Foster parent Perry Chubbs and
Eugene Hart, Vice-Principal of
Sheshatshiu Innu School present
Paulina Andrew (Grade 1) with her prize.
Shannon Malone, Social Worker with Child, Youth
and Family Services in Grand Falls-Windsor
presents Layah Penney (Grade 1) of Lakeside
Academy in Buchans with her prize.
Foster Families Association
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Abigail Currie (Grade 7) of J.R. Smallwood School in Wabush
receives her 1st place award from Principal Larry Lacosta.
January 2015
Winter Edition
Foster parent Donna Stokes and Bob Hemeon, Principal of
Cottrell’s Cove Academy present Megan Ellen Butler (Level 3)
w ith her 1st place award.
.
1st place winner Jada Normore (Grade 4) of Labrador Straits Academy receives her award.
l-r: Bud and Jackie Normore (Jada’s parents), Mr. Casey, Principal and foster parents Bim and Marilyn Bridle.
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Foster Parents Share Experiences
Experiences of Foster Families is a regular feature in our newsletter. It would be great if Foster Parents would
write a story of their experiences providing care for children and forward it to the office. We want to have a ready
supply of stories for future newsletters. It is realized that not everyone is comfortable writing about themselves
but everyone has a story to tell. If you would like to share your experiences but need help putting it on paper, you
can call the office and we will give you a hand.
The following poems were written by a foster mom for her adopted daughter:
Waiting, wanting, hoping
For a gift made just for us
A basket full of miracles
A lil' someone for us to love
Wishing, praying, keeping faith
A dream that must come true
Not knowing when but someday soon
The world would send us you
Sitting, thinking, imagining
How bright the sun will shine
When we can hold you in our arms
And I can call you mine
By Chenoah's mom
Long years ago
I held your hand
We walked into the sun
I thanked the lord
For the gift he gave
My life became so fun
Your eyes glow bright
With each surprise
That life has sent our way
I know my days
Will be joy filled
Because you're here to stay
And even if you
Were born from
Someone else's tummy
God always knew
He had his plan
That I would be your mommy
Special thanks to Chenoah’s mom
for sharing these poems!
By Chenoah's mom
Every gardener knows that under the cloak of winter lies a miracle. . .
a seed waiting to sprout, a bulb opening to the light, a bud straining
to unfurl. And the anticipation nurtures our dream.
Barbara Winkler
If you think only sunshine brings you happiness,
then you haven't danced in the rain.
Unknown
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Voices of Youth
Voices of Youth is a regular feature. This space will be available for the printing of poetry, drawings, short
stories, or life experiences of young people. For reasons of confidentiality, the names of those who
submit will not be printed unless the individual is over 16 and has provided their consent.
Thank you Isaiah for this great drawing.
We really enjoyed your visit to the office!
Foster Families Association
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January 2015
Winter Edition
Teen’s Corner
Body Image and Self-Esteem
Does any of this sound familiar? "I'm too tall." "I'm too short." "I'm too skinny." "If only
I were shorter/taller/had curly hair/straight hair/a smaller nose/longer legs, I'd be happy."
Are you putting yourself down? If so, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through
lots of changes in your body. And, as your body changes, so does your image of
yourself. It's not always easy to like every part of your looks, but when you get stuck
on the negatives it can really bring down your self-esteem.
Why Are Self-Esteem and Body Image Important?
Self-esteem is all about how much you feel you are worth — and how much you feel other people value you.
Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect your mental health and how you behave.
People with high self-esteem know themselves well. They're realistic and find friends that like and appreciate them
for who they are. People with high self-esteem usually feel more in control of their lives and know their own
strengths and weaknesses.
Body image is how you view your physical self — including whether you feel you are attractive and whether others
like your looks. For many people, especially people in their early teens, body image can be closely linked to
self-esteem.
What Influences a Person's Self-Esteem?
Puberty and Development: Some people struggle with their self-esteem and body image when
they begin puberty because it's a time when the body goes through many changes. These
changes, combined with wanting to feel accepted by our friends, means it can be tempting to
compare ourselves with others. The trouble with that is, not everyone grows or develops at the
same time or in the same way.
Media Images and Other Outside Influences: Our tweens and early teens are a time when
we become more aware of celebrities and media images — as well as how other kids look and how we fit in. We
might start to compare ourselves with other people or media images ("ideals" that are frequently airbrushed). All
of this can affect how we feel about ourselves and our bodies even as we grow into our teens.
Families and School: Family life can sometimes influence our body image. Some parents or coaches might be
too focused on looking a certain way or "making weight" for a sports team. Family members might struggle with
their own body image or criticize their kids' looks ("why do you wear your hair so long?" or "how come you can't
wear pants that fit you?"). This can all influence a person's self-esteem, especially if they're sensitive to others
peoples' comments.
People also may experience negative comments and hurtful teasing about the way they look from classmates and
peers. Although these often come from ignorance, sometimes they can affect body image and self-esteem.
Healthy Self-Esteem
If you have a positive body image, you probably like and accept yourself the way you are, even if you don't fit some
media "ideal." This healthy attitude allows you to explore other aspects of growing up, such as developing good
friendships, becoming more independent from your parents, and challenging yourself physically and mentally.
Developing these parts of yourself can help boost your self-esteem. A positive, optimistic attitude can help people
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develop strong self-esteem. For example, if you make a mistake, you might want to say, "Hey, I'm human" instead
of "Wow, I'm such a loser" or not blame others when things don't go as expected.
Knowing what makes you happy and how to meet your goals can help you feel capable, strong, and in control of
your life. A positive attitude and a healthy lifestyle (such as exercising and eating right) are a great combination
for building good self-esteem.
Tips for Improving Body Image
Some people think they need to change how they look to feel good about themselves. But all you need to do is
change the way you see your body and how you think about yourself. Here are some tips on doing that:
Recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape or size it comes in. Try to focus on how strong
and healthy your body is and the things it can do, not what's wrong with it or what you feel you want to change
about it. If you're worried about your weight or size, check with your doctor to verify that things are OK. But it's no
one's business but your own what your body is like — ultimately, you have to be happy with yourself.
Identify which aspects of your appearance you can realistically change and which you can't. Humans, by
definition, are imperfect. It's what makes each of us unique and original! Everyone (even the most perfect-seeming
celeb) has things that they can't change and need to accept — like their height, for example, or their shoe size.
Remind yourself that "real people aren't perfect and perfect people aren't real (they're usually airbrushed!)".
If there are things about yourself that you want to change and can, do this by making goals for yourself.
For example, if you want to get fit, make a plan to exercise every day and eat healthy. Then keep track of your
progress until you reach your goal. Meeting a challenge you set for yourself is a great way to boost self-esteem!
When you hear negative comments coming from within, tell yourself to stop. Appreciate that each person
is more than just how he or she looks on any given day. We're complex and constantly changing. Try to focus on
what's unique and interesting about yourself.
Try building your self-esteem by giving yourself three compliments every day. While you're at it, every
evening list three things in your day that really gave you pleasure. It can be anything from the way the sun felt on
your face, the sound of your favourite band, or the way someone laughed at your jokes. By focusing on the good
things you do and the positive aspects of your life, you can change how you feel about yourself.
Where Can I Go if I Need Help?
Sometimes low self-esteem and body image problems are too much to handle alone. A few teens may become
depressed, and lose interest in activities or friends. Some go on to develop eating or body image disorders, and
can become depressed or use alcohol or drugs to escape feelings of low worth.
If you're feeling this way, it can help to talk to a parent, coach, guidance counselor, therapist, or friend. A trusted
adult — someone who supports you and doesn't bring you down — can help you put your body image in
perspective and give you positive feedback about your body, your skills, and your abilities.
If you can't turn to anyone you know, call a teen crisis hotline (an online search can give you the information for
national and local hotlines). The most important thing is to get help if you feel like your body image and
self-esteem are affecting your life.
Source: www.kidshealth.org
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Ask the Expert
Is it a problem that I am closer to my aunt than my parents? I can tell her everything, but I find myself not being
able to tell my parents anything. I can really trust her and I see that she has my back.
Everyone needs an adult in their life they can trust and confide in. Sometimes it's a parent - but it doesn't always
have to be. Even people who are close to their parents benefit from having other caring adults in their lives. Lucky
you to have an aunt who is always there for you! It can be a natural part of growing up to confide in parents less
than you once did. Or maybe you never had that type of relationship with your parents.
Feeling more comfortable talking to your aunt might be a matter of personality. Or maybe the fact that she isn't
your parent makes it easier to talk to her. But whatever the reason, it's perfectly OK - in fact, it's a positive thing
- to have an adult you are close to. Try not to leave your parents out altogether. Share what you can with them
about your life and your feelings. There may come a time you will feel closer to your parents. For now, if there are
things that you need and want to talk to your parents about, ask your aunt for help or suggestions about how to
approach them.
Keep your relationship with your aunt strong by staying in touch, even when there's nothing special you need to
talk over with her. Do things together. Have fun. Talk. Find ways to let her know you value having her in your life.
She's probably happy to have you in her life, too!
Source: www.kidshealth.org
What does it Mean to be Grateful
Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness that we have when we acknowledge how someone or something has helped
us and made our life better whether in a big way or a small way. Most of the time we might only notice when
somebody helps us with a BIG problem that is causing us a lot of worry or inconvenience or trouble. Imagine, for
example, that you are in a broken down car on a dark lonely road in the middle of nowhere. When you see the
flashing lights of the recovery vehicle you feel a massive sense of relieve and - 10 minutes later - you have
enormous gratitude for the mechanic who's got your car working again. You just can't thank him enough!
However, it is just as important to have gratitude for all of the smaller acts of help, generosity and kindness that
we experience every day. For example, the things that our parents or guardians routinely do for us that easily go
unnoticed like cooking, cleaning and tidying ..... or doing a hard days work to help pay the bills. Or maybe you
have a kind relative or neighbour who is always happy to help you out when things go wrong. Or maybe there's
a teacher or helper at school who is always trying hard to make sure that you get a good education so that you
can have a happy and fulfilled life. We can have gratitude for everything that these people have done for us - and
continue to do for us - on a daily basis.
It is not just the actions of other people that we can be grateful for. For example, do you ever stop to think how
fortunate you are to be able to just turn on a tap and enjoy clean safe drinking water? ..... Or to be able to flick a
switch and have heat and light? ..... Or walk into a grocery store and have the
choice of so many nutritious and healthy foods? These are all privileges that we
can easily take for granted but should be very grateful for.
Having gratitude helps us to properly appreciate everything that we have and
everything that is done for us. By understanding the value of this - and what our
life would be like otherwise - we are more likely to have respect for others and a
feeling of contentment with our own life; a feeling of contentment that should help
us to focus on how much we have in our lives rather than how little.
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Children’s Pages
Starry, Starry Night
A real snowflake can be hard to catch, but with these toilet-paper rolls disguised as
sparkly, snowy crystals, the kids can hang on to ‘em forever!
What you’ll need: - empty toilet paper rolls (each roll makes about one star), scissors,
white paint, glue, clothes pins, white glitter.
How to make it: Grab some old toilet paper rolls, and cut them into ¾” rings. Glue the tips
of five rings together, and use a clothes pin to hold them together as they dry. Then paint each one white. While
it’s still wet, sprinkle with glitter to get the Christmas shimmer of a starry night.
Snow Globe
Almost any jar works for this project.
Materials: synthetic evergreen tips (available at many craft stores), plastic or ceramic
figurines, glass jar, sandpaper, clear-drying epoxy, glitter, glycerin.
Step 1: Sand the inside of the lid until the surface is rough. With clear-drying epoxy,
adhere the figurine to the inside of the lid, and let the epoxy dry.
Step 2: Fill the jar almost to the top with distilled water; add a pinch of glitter and a dash
of glycerin (available at drugstores) to keep the glitter from falling too quickly. Don't add
too much, or the glitter will stick to the bottom of the jar when it's flipped.
Step 3: Screw on the lid tightly, being careful not to dislodge the
figurine. Turn the jar over and back again -- and let it snow.
Riddles
What animal is bad to play games with?
A cheetah!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer!
What does a snowman eat for lunch?
An ice-berger!
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Would you like to win a prize? Color this page to enter our Winter Coloring Contest. Four Prizes will be
awarded. Send your picture to Suite 105, 21 Pippy Place, St. John's, NL, A1B 3X2 before February 28,
2015. Copy the page and share it with a friend!
Name:
Town:
Postal Code:
Age:
_________________
_________________
_________________
_________________
Address:
_________________
Province:
_________________
Telephone: _________________
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Educational Section
Riding the Wave of the Teen Years: Turning Down Tween Attitude
It's common knowledge that the tween and teenage years can be hard on the parent-child relationship.
Experiencing defiance, rejection, and ridicule from one's child is very upsetting for parents. It's easy for parents
to get very angry and disheartened with their tween's snarky attitude, disrespect, selfishness, and lack of gratitude,
or with their teen's pushing away from parental hugs and other expressions of affection.
This kind of attitude from tweens and teens can feel hurtful, insulting, discounting, and leave parents
flabbergasted. Many parents become convinced that their child is fully aware of his/her behavior, tone of voice,
and word choice and is going out of his/her way to be defiant and mean. In addition, this behavior often causes
parents to worry about how their child will fare in the real world and how the parent-child relationship will ever
survive.
The Causes of Teen and Tween Attitude
To manage these challenging times, parents will be wise to not take their child's behavior as a personal attack on
them. That's not to say that parents should ignore or allow all rude and disrespectful behavior. It does, however,
mean that parents should put on a thick skin and recognize that it's really more about what the tween is
experiencing and less about the parents themselves. In most cases, the increase in attitude from tweens and
teens can be attributed to:
•
Changes occurring in the tween and teen brain causing increased impulsivity and heightened emotions,
leading them to get overly angry or sad and out of proportion to the event (from the parent's perspective).
•
The teen/tweens' need to begin separating from their parents and forming their own identities.
•
A developmental and subconscious need for children to test the limits of their power with parents and in
doing so, get confirmation that parents will reliably hold their ground and keep their children safe.
•
Tweens and teens being pre-occupied, distracted, and consumed by their ever-changing bodies and social
world and not thinking about their parents' emotions, needs, or reactions.
It is important to emphasize that undesirable tween and teen behavior should NOT be encouraged or condoned.
Rather, parents need to understand that these behaviors are a part of this stage of development and as such, will
be difficult for them to correct quickly or easily.
What Behavior to Expect from Tweens and Teens
Parents of tweens and teens can expect the following behaviors and should, in general, not take them personally:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Eye rolling
Sighs
Huffs and puffs
Back talk
Complaining
Questioning why you do things the way you do
Challenging your beliefs
Overreacting and easily becoming anxious or angry
Criticizing and nitpicking
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Typically, this behavior will come and go. Tweens may be spewing back talk one minute and will be genuinely kind
and sweet the next. In many ways, this stage of development is much like the "terrible twos" and this type of
behavior is a part of how they are developmentally wired. While challenging to their parents, it is actually healthy
for tweens to express some of their feelings in this way in order to move to the next level of maturity.
Responding to Attitude
In light of the various developmental causes of tween and teen attitude, parents will do well to:
•
Not react immediately to the behavior.
•
Keep their wits about them, remembering that this is just a phase, and practice methods for staying calm
(such as deep breathing and keeping a sense of humor).
•
Use episodes of disrespectful behavior as teachable moments. Help increase
your children's awareness of what happens when their impulses control them
and how that behavior impacts others.
•
Choose carefully which issues to address in more depth at a later time.
Sometimes the best response in the moment is no response. Parents don't
have to address every issue with their tween at the exact moment that it
presents itself. It's much better to go back to it later when all parties have had
a chance to calm down.
Could the Parent be Part of the Problem?
While tween and teen attitude must be taken with a big grain of salt and a sound understanding of how it fits into
their stage of development, it's wise to look at each individual situation to confirm that the attitude isn't a symptom
of a bigger problem. In assessing for this possibility, parents should also take a look at how their behavior may
be contributing to the problem.
The following questions can help parents determine if their behavior is helping to turn down the tone in the
household or making it worse:
•
Do you talk to your child respectfully? Even if you're angry? Since parents are role models, regulating your
emotions is important and it keeps the conflict from escalating.
•
Do you react to your child's attitude with your own attitude? While this is an understandable human
reaction, it only results in heightening the conflict and rarely leads to satisfactory resolution.
•
Do you engage with your tween's sassy attitude in any way? The mumblings under the breath, the pouting,
sulking, and complaints about how unfair life is are powerful hooks that easily pull parents in. Giving
increased attention to this behavior usually just exacerbates it.
•
Do you overreact to your tween's attitude? If so, this may indicate that there are problems outside the
parent-child relationship that need to be addressed. Parents may be reacting to external stressors, internal
conflicts, or bigger issues in the family that need some attention.
When parents realize they are taking their tween's attitude too personally and getting their buttons pushed
continually, it may be time for some outside help from a trusted friend or counselor.
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How to Help Tweens and Teens Adjust Their Attitude
While attitude from tweens and teens may be normal, ignoring too much of the undesirable behavior for too long
isn't helpful to the child or the family. Parents can help train tweens to tame their responses by looking for
opportunities to help them hear themselves and learn how their attitudes are impacting those around them.
For example: A parent might say something like: "I know you are frustrated and we need to talk about this. Right
now your tone of voice and your facial expressions are making it very hard for me to hear your point of view." Or
more simply, "Can you try that again but without the tone?"
Keep in mind that:
•
tweens are often unaware of their own tone of voice and do not hear the tone in the same way that parents
hear it.
•
parents are role models and will need to monitor their own tone of voice as well.
When Attitude is a Symptom of Something Else
It is suggested that parents take a closer look at their tween or teen's attitude if:
•
The irritability and disrespect doesn't happen just at home, but consistently occurs with other adults and
kids.
•
Your child's attitude causes problems in school or with friendships outside the home.
•
You notice other changes in your child's behavior, such as diminished interest in activities, loss of friends,
or changes in academic performance.
If any of these things are going on, consider having a heart-to-heart talk with your child and possibly getting
outside professional help to sort through the problem.
www.centerforparentingeducation.org
Mental Health-Mental illness
Most Canadians are affected by mental illness, either directly or indirectly, through family, friends or colleagues.
Yet there is still a stigma attached to this range of diseases that is a barrier to correct diagnosis and treatment,
as well as to the acceptance and support of people with mental illness within the community. Twenty percent of
Canadians will personally experience a mental illness during their lifetime. Although most mental illnesses begin
during adolescence and young adulthood, people of all ages, cultures, educational and income levels experience
mental illnesses.
In the course of a lifetime, most people experience feelings of isolation, loneliness, sadness, emotional distress
or disconnection from things. These feelings are often short-term, normal reactions to difficult situations, such as
the death of a loved one, loss of a job, romantic breakup or sudden change of circumstances. People learn to cope
with these difficult feelings just as we learn to cope with other difficult situations.
However, mental illness, by definition, is quite different. It has a serious impact on a person's ability to function
effectively over a long period of time. Depending on the illness, a person may have a serious disturbance in
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thinking, mood or behaviour. They may not be able to cope with the simplest aspects of everyday life and may
need help in regaining balance in their lives.
Along with the profound costs to livelihood, the economic costs of mental illness are also enormous. In 1993, the
cost of mental illness in Canada was estimated to be at least $7.331 billion. Most people with mental illness can
be helped through health professionals and community-based services while some may need hospitalization to
stabilize their symptoms. Eighty-six percent of hospitalizations for mental illnesses take place in general hospitals.
Mental illness accounts for about four percent of all hospital admissions.
Types of mental illnesses
Mental illnesses take many forms, including:
•
mood disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder, which affect how one feels;
•
schizophrenia, which affects how one perceives the world;
•
anxiety disorders which affect how fearful one perceives places, events or situations to be;
•
personality disorders, which affect how one sees oneself in relation to others; and
•
eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia, which influence how one feels about food and one's body
image.
Although suicide is not itself considered a mental illness, it is often the result of some underlying mental illness.
It accounts for two percent of all deaths, but 24 percent of deaths among those aged 15 to 24, and 16 percent of
deaths among those aged 25 to 44.
Causes of mental illness
A complex interplay of many factors cause mental illness. Contributing factors include:
•
•
•
•
•
genetics;
biology;
personality;
socio-economic status; and
life events.
Symptoms of mental illness
Mental illnesses take the form of changes in thinking, mood or behaviour or some combination of all three. The
person affected shows symptoms of significant distress and the inability to function as needed over an extended
period of time. These symptoms can vary from mild to severe, depending on the type of mental illness, the
individual, the family and the patient's environment.
Health effects of mental illness
Mental health is as important as physical health. In fact, the two are intertwined. Our mental health directly affects
our physical health and vice versa. People with physical health problems often experience anxiety or depression
that affects their recovery. Likewise, mental health factors can increase the risk of developing physical problems
such as:
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diabetes;
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heart disease;
weight gain or loss;
gastrointestinal problems;
reductions in immune system efficiency; and
blood biochemical imbalances.
In the case of eating disorders, those affected may die from lack of nourishment.
Treatment of mental disorders
Most mental illnesses can be effectively treated. Treatment methods may include one or more of the following:
•
•
•
•
•
medication;
scientifically based psycho-therapies - such as cognitive therapy - which help patients learn to effectively
change their thinking, feelings and behaviour;
counselling;
community support services; and
education.
However, because of the stigma of mental illness, many people avoid or delay treatment. If you or someone close
to you shows signs of mental illness, it is important that you seek treatment as soon as possible. Talk to a
regulated health professional (e.g. family physician, psychologist, mental health nurse, social worker) or another
trusted professional - such as a counselor or religious leader - about your concerns.
Minimizing your risk and helping in recovery
Seeking help early, along with focusing on maintaining or improving your mental
wellness - or 'positive mental health' - are the best ways to minimize your risk for
mental illness.
Positive mental health can help you cope with life's challenges and enjoy life to the
fullest. It can also help your recovery if you develop a mental illness.
The following suggestions can help you develop and maintain positive mental health.
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•
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eat a well-balanced diet based on Canada's Food Guide to Healthy Eating;
take part in physical activity regularly;
get enough sleep each night;
avoid overuse of alcohol, such as binge drinking or drinking to cope with problems;
avoid the use of illegal drugs;
learn to deal with the stresses of modern life and take steps to minimize the stress in your life; and
talk to others - your family, friends, colleagues - about things that concern you. Sharing feelings and
anxieties can help you cope with them.
www.healthycanadians.gc.ca
Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to boldly walk through them.
Orison Swett Marden
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try
again tomorrow.'
Mary Anne Radmacher
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Encouraging Your Child’s Sense of Humour
A sense of humour can brighten family life. You can blow raspberries on a baby's belly, put on a silly hat and
chase a 3-year-old, or pretend to fall into a pile of leaves to amuse a first-grader. As kids grow into preteens and
teens, you can share puns and jokes as their sense of what's funny grows more sophisticated. Laughing together
is a way to connect, and a good sense of humor also can make kids smarter, healthier, and better able to cope
with challenges.
We tend to think of humor as part of our genetic makeup, like blue eyes or big feet. But a sense of humour actually
is a learned quality that can be developed in kids, not something they're born with.
What's So Funny Anyway?
Humour is what makes something funny; a sense of humour is the ability to recognize it. Someone with a
well-developed sense of humour has the ability to recognize what's funny in others and can amuse them as well.
A good sense of humour is a tool that kids can rely on throughout life to help them:
•
•
•
•
•
•
see things from many perspectives other than the most obvious
be spontaneous
grasp unconventional ideas or ways of thinking
see beyond the surface of things
enjoy and participate in the playful aspects of life
not take themselves too seriously
Kids with a well-developed sense of humour are happier and more optimistic, have higher self-esteem, and can
handle differences (their own and others') well. Kids who can appreciate and share humour are better liked by their
peers and more able to handle the adversities of childhood — from moving to a new town, to teasing, to torment
by playground bullies.
And a good sense of humour doesn't just help kids emotionally or socially. Research has shown that people who
laugh more are healthier — they're less likely to be depressed and may even have an increased resistance to
illness or physical problems. They experience less stress; have lower heart rates, pulses, and blood pressure; and
have better digestion. Laughter may even help humans better endure pain, and studies have shown that it
improves our immune function.
But most of all, a sense of humour is what makes life fun. Few pleasures rival yukking it up with your kids.
Different Ages — Different Humour
Kids can start developing a sense of humour at a very young age. But what's funny to a toddler won't be funny
to a teen. To help your kids at each stage of development, it's important to know what's likely to amuse them.
Babies: Babies don't really understand humour, but they do know when you're smiling and happy. When you
make funny noises or faces and then laugh or smile, your baby is likely to sense your joy and imitate you. He or
she is also highly responsive to physical stimuli, like tickling or raspberries.
Sometime between 9 and 15 months, babies know enough about the world to understand that when mom puts
a diaper on her head or quacks like a duck, she's doing something unexpected — and that it's funny.
Toddlers: Toddlers appreciate physical humour, especially the kind with an element of surprise (like peek-a-boo
or an unexpected tickle). As kids develop language skills, they'll find rhymes and nonsense words funny — and
this will continue well into the preschool years.
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And it's around this time that many kids start trying to make their parents laugh. Your child might deliberately point
to the wrong facial feature when asked "Where's your nose?" or put on your shoes and clomp around the house.
Preschoolers: A preschooler is more likely to find humour in a picture with something out of whack (a car with
square wheels, a pig wearing sunglasses) than a joke or pun. Incongruity between pictures and sounds (a horse
that says moo) is also funny for this age group. And as they become more aware of bodily
functions and of what gets a parent's goat, preschoolers often start delighting in bathroom
humour.
School-age kids: As kids move into kindergarten and beyond, basic wordplay,
exaggeration, and slapstick will all be increasingly funny. They may discover the pleasure
of telling simple jokes (it's fun to be the one who knows the punchline!) and will repeat the
same jokes over and over.
Older grade kids: These kids have a better grasp of what words mean and are able to play with them — they like
puns, riddles, and other forms of wordplay. They'll also start making fun of any deviation from what they perceive
as "normal" forms of behaviour or dress, and gross-out jokes related to bodily functions are a hit too.
But kids this age are also developing more subtle understandings of humour, including the ability to use wit or
sarcasm and to handle adverse situations using humour.
Humour Basics
It's never too early to start developing a child's sense of humour. Babies' smiles and laughs are so delightful that
we often do this intuitively — smiling, blowing raspberries, or tickling them many times a day just to hear a chuckle.
It's important to keep up this encouragement as kids grow. When you're playful and humourous with your child,
delighting in silliness and laughter, you help him or her develop a playful and humourous attitude about life.
One of the best ways to do this from the toddler years on is to spend time every day being receptive to the many
opportunities your child gives you to smile or laugh. Be spontaneous, playful, and aware of what your child finds
funny at different ages. Also be game enough to laugh so the jokes don't fall flat.
What else can you do to encourage your child's sense of humour?
4.
1.
Be a humour model. One of the best things you can do to develop your child's
sense of humour is to use your own. Make jokes. Tell funny stories. Laugh out
loud. Deal lightly with small catastrophes like spilt milk.
2.
Take kids' humour seriously. Encourage your child's attempts at humour,
whether it's reading (potentially unfunny) jokes from a book or drawing "funny"
pictures of the family dog. Praise your child for trying to be funny and be open to
surprise — the first time your child makes you laugh is one of life's great pleasures.
3.
Teach kids that adults are funny — and that they can be too. Make humour a
part of your day-to-day interactions with your kids and encourage them to share
funny observations or reactions, even when you're around other adults.
Create a humour-rich environment. Surround your kids with funny books — for toddlers and
preschoolers these include picture books or nonsense rhymes; older kids will love joke books and comics.
Also check out funny TV shows, movies, and websites for all age groups — help your child make good
choices and then enjoy them too.
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Where to Draw the Line
You don't want to rain on their parade, but kids need boundaries when it comes to humour, just like they do in
other areas. You don't want to encourage mean-spirited or off-color jokes, so be a good role model and avoid
using humour in this way. If someone tells a hurtful or inappropriate joke, don't laugh. Take the time to explain to
your child why that joke isn't funny.
You also might want to gently discourage bathroom humour or at least not participate too heartily. It won't hurt
anyone's feelings but kids may have trouble determining when it's OK to make such a joke (at home, with family)
and when it's not (in the classroom, at church).
The Family That Laughs Together...
Above all, humour is social. That's why you laugh harder at a funny movie when you
see it in the theatre with other people laughing around you than all alone on your
couch.
A key aspect to developing your child's sense of humour is to take time to have fun as
a family. Share jokes, play games, and watch funny movies together.
You might even adopt your own offbeat family traditions, whether it's hanging spoons
off your noses or wearing matching pajamas. It will be funny now — and maybe even
funnier in years to come, when you and your kids remember those silly family times.
www.kidshealth.org
Managing the Stress of Parenting
We live in a pressure cooker, no doubt about it. Bombarded with media and technology, we are expected to stay
switched on 24/7 in a way that previous generations never were. Are we under more stress than our parents were?
Not necessarily, claims Dr. Kim Foster. "I think our resilience for stress is lower," says the family doctor and writer
from Victoria, B.C. "I think people do not expect hardship to occur, and when it inevitably does, we simply don't
have the tools to cope."
Stress and the sabre-tooth tiger
Stress is actually healthy. Well, to a point. When faced with a perceived threat, the brain (amygdala) alerts our
bodies, causing our hearts to pound, our hands to sweat, and adrenal hormones like cortisol to spike, prompting
us to react. The operative word here is perceived. These days the odds of being mauled by a sabre-tooth tiger
may be nonexistent, yet the body doesn't know that. And so it responds exactly the same way every time it gets
the message, regardless of the trigger.
"Stress can be sneaky," admits Dr. Foster. "It can creep up and cause all manner of symptoms that you wouldn't,
at first, attribute to stress." She estimates that some 60 percent of all of visits to the GP can be traced back to
stress – everything from irregular or skipped periods, weight fluctuations, insomnia and fatigue, to headaches,
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), frequent colds or other infections, inability to concentrate, even hair loss.
"When it comes down to it," Dr. Foster says, "stress is the way we feel about difficult or overwhelming situations,
the way we react to hardship, not the absolute facts of the situation."
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Since our environment isn't likely to change anytime soon, it's up to us to choose how to deal with that relentless
pressure. We can turn down the heat and let the stress simmer, or we can allow it to reach a boiling point until it
inevitably bubbles over. It's up to us to decide.
The ripple effect
"Stress spreads like wildfire and is contagious," says Lori Lite, author of Stress Free Kids. "You can easily transfer
your stress to your children. Luckily the feelings of being calm and relaxed are also contagious. Deep breathing
and positive relaxing statements can send a ripple effect through your family."
Little monkeys love to imitate what they see. And if what they see every day is insecurity and anxiety, in time they
will mirror those feelings and perpetuate the same vicious cycle of poor coping. Our stress can essentially become
their stress.
Take the mom with a headache who switches on the TV instead of taking her children to the playground, or the
dad running late for work who yells at his kids to get ready. Every one of us has had parenting moments we're less
than proud of. But if we're not careful, over time these moments can rack up and affect our relationships.
Feeling stressed is a sign that something in our lives is out of kilter and needs to be redressed. "Take steps to
bring balance back into your life," says Lori. "Let your children see you simplifying your schedule or taking a yoga
class."
If you can't beat stress…accept it?
What if the most realistic and effective way to deal with stress isn't eliminating it at all, but simply acknowledging
it? Mindfulness is an increasingly popular movement that seeks to increase awareness and reduce anxiety,
primarily through breathing. Mindfulness means being immersed in the present moment – no matter what is going
on –without dwelling on what happened last year or worrying about what will happen two hours from now. It means
using all of our senses to fully experience our world, be that smelling a rose or a dirty diaper, listening to birdsong
or to a wailing baby!
Even if the present is less than pleasant, we must be willing to acknowledge it without passing judgment.
Minimizing stress is also about perception. No situation or circumstance is inherently good or bad, fair or unfair,
yet our thoughts are constantly ascribing meaning to the mundane, and often those thoughts are less than
positive. When the grating little voice inside your head tells you, ‘You're a bad mother,' try stepping back and
reframing it: ‘I am having the thought right now that I am a bad mother.' After all, thoughts only have power if we
feed them.
People who practise mindfulness regularly are actually able to control their stress reaction and regulate their
emotions. They sleep better at night, and further, their memories are sharper. On the face of it, focused breathing
may sound simple, but the act of truly disconnecting is not an easy feat in our wired age.
Breath is free
Aside from the many documented physical benefits, yoga and mindfulness teach us how to be still in a hectic world
– a life skill this generation desperately needs. "The greatest gift we can give our kids is to just show up and be
present with them," says Temmi Ungerman Sears, director of YogaBuds yoga studio in Toronto. "The best part
of being mindful as a family is the fact that you don't need any special equipment. Your breath is free."
And practice makes permanent. Temmi insists it needn't take long to incorporate mindfulness into your everyday
routine. Even five-minute breathing sessions twice daily – ideally first thing in the morning and last thing before
bed – will make an impact. Breathing and muscle relaxation exercises can be performed while riding on the
subway or even during a bathroom break. No one will be the wiser!
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The key is to practice these techniques when you and your children are calm rather than when you are feeling
anxious or angry, which Lori likens to trying to close the windows during a hurricane. Drawing on these tools before
you need them can mean the difference between responding or reacting to a given situation.
As I wish my friend love and luck, I remind myself to quit looking over the fences in my neighbourhood. Mine isn't
the greenest or healthiest lawn on the block. It's yellow in patches and strewn with the odd weed, and probably
always will be. But I'm learning to love it, dandelions and all.
10 Ways to Deal With Stress
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Make time for yourself.
Take care of yourself by eating a good diet and exercising regularly.
Get some sleep.
Take a break from looking after the kids. If you can't afford or find a sitter, offer to look after another
parent's kids if he or she will look after yours another time.
Look for community programs for parents and children so you'll meet other like-minded people.
Talk to someone.
Look for parenting courses and support groups in your community.
Learn some ways of unwinding to manage the tension.
If you're feeling pressured, tense or drawn out at the end of a busy day, say so.
Practice time management and empower yourself to say no to requests of your time when you have to.
Source: modified from an article written by Julie M. Green www.parentscanada.com
Baby’s First Shoes
To wear shoes, or not? The lowdown on whether it’s best for your baby to wear shoes as
he/she learns to walk.
Let’s face it, baby shoes are darn cute. But beyond the eye appeal, there are conflicting
opinions about whether baby feet should be shod. We asked Denis Leduc, chair of the
community paediatrics committee of the Canadian Paediatric Society (CPS), to lay to rest
the most common myths.
1.
Babies need shoes to ensure proper foot development.
Not true, says Leduc. “A shoe does not shape the foot better — in fact, there is a body of evidence that the
development of the arch is encouraged better by walking barefoot.” The CPS statement on infant shoes says
walking barefoot develops good toe gripping and muscular strength. However, sometimes a baby’s foot, or walking
gait, looks odd to parents. “Sometimes the intrauterine position will have an effect in the first months,” Leduc
explains. “The legs may be bowed or the feet may be turned in. Usually this will just go away. And babies will
sometimes stand with their feet turned in, or turned out like Charlie Chaplin, but this is related to how the hips are
placed for stability, not the feet. The foot just sort of goes along with the rest of the leg.” In rare cases where there
is a problem that requires treatment, “it might involve physiotherapy or casts, followed by a special orthopaedic
shoe,” he says.
2.
Babies need shoes for ankle or arch support.
According to Leduc, there’s no evidence that babies need support when walking. “A shoe doesn’t improve ankle
strength,” he says, “on the contrary.” As for arch supports, these may be necessary for an older child or adult, but
babies don’t need them. You might even say they have their own built-in arch support. “A baby’s foot has a fat pad
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underneath it that makes it look like there is no arch,” explains Leduc. “But the foot isn’t really flat — the fat pad
is just concealing the arch.” So a really prominent arch support may not even fit the shape of the baby’s foot. “A
soft shoe is fine,” says Leduc. “It doesn’t have to be a rigid shoe. A baby is out of shoes in three to six months and
you could end up spending a lot of money.”
Of course, you’ll have individual preferences. If your baby tends to get hot, sweaty feet, for example, you may want
to avoid vinyl shoes, which don’t breathe as well as leather, nylon or canvas. And while ankle boots have no great
advantage medically, they are harder for babies to remove. Whatever the price, a shoe that fits well is important.
The CPS advises that shoes must fit properly at the heel (no slipping and sliding), and that new shoes should
leave about 1.25 cm (about half an inch) between the longest toe and the tip of the shoe when the child is
standing.
3.
Barefoot is always better.
Not necessarily. Shoes provide protection, warmth and grip on a slippery surface. “A shoe is to protect a little foot
from being bumped, scraped or injured,” says Leduc. “That’s all.” Or not quite all. Shoes work better than anything
for keeping little socks on. And sometimes… well sometimes, you have to indulge yourself and add a pair of shoes
to the outfit — just because they are so darn cute.
Source: www.shoppersdrugmart.ca
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Newfoundland and Labrador Foster Families Association – Membership Application
Name(s): _____________________________________________
Date: __________________________
Mailing Address: (include PO Box if applicable) ______________________________________________
City/Town: _________________________ Province: ______ Postal Code: ________________________
Telephone: ______________________________ E-mail: ________________________________________
Please indicate (U) below whether you are a:
Foster Family __________
Social Worker _________
Other (Specify) __________
Membership fees are $20.00 a year per family.
PAYMENT METHOD: Cheque __________Money Order ___________Cash ____________
PLEASE DO NOT SEND CASH IN THE MAIL!
Please Mail To:
Newfoundland and Labrador Foster Families Association
Suite 105, 21 Pippy Place
St. John=s, NL
A1B 3X2
Foster Families are entitled to discounts at various retail stores and restaurants in the
province upon presentation of your membership card. Some businesses may also require a
picture id.
Membership renewal is required each year.
IF YOU ARE MOVING, PLEASE NOTIFY THE PROVINCIAL OFFICE TOLL FREE AT 1-877-754-0218 or by
email: [email protected]
OFFICE USE ONLY
Date Membership Application Received: _________________
Date Card Mailed Out: __________________
Membership Card Number: _________________ Expiry Date: ________________
REGION:
‘Western ‘Grenfell
‘Labrador ‘Central
‘Eastern
‘St. John=s