SOFT Times Newsletter, April 2014
Transcription
SOFT Times Newsletter, April 2014
The SOFT Times Support Organization for Trisomy 18, 13 and Related Disorders February/March/April 2014 The SOFT Board of Directors sends greetings for a healthy and prosperous new year in 2014. 2014 SOFT Conference: July 9-13, Norfolk, Virginia Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.- Calvin Coolidge SOFTLY SPOKEN Kris Holladay, Founder “I REMEMBER” I was raised in a loving family with six children. I am the fourth daughter of five girls in a row and the youngest of the six is my one and only brother. My memories of Christmas mornings are filled with happiness. With five daughters, I remember our family Christmas tree would be piled high with lots of “girly” stuff! One Christmas memory will remain forever in my mind and heart! I was eight years old and our family lived in the small town of Holbrook, Arizona. Under the Christmas tree were all sorts of baby dolls for all the daughters and they filled the room with the smell of plastic equal only to a Firestone tire showroom. I had asked Santa for a “Chatty Cathy” doll. This amazing little doll could “talk” by pulling a string that came out from her back. You would pull the string and as it retracted back into the doll, you could hear words and phrases, thus “Chatty Cathy” would chat. On this particular Christmas morning, I went sleepy-eyed to the tree and with delight, I found the long waited for “talking doll”! With great excitement, I lifted my “Chatty Cathy” up and embraced this very wanted doll. I knew I would love this doll forever! I carefully pulled the string and anxiously waited to hear my special doll’s first “words”. My parents and sisters watched and listened in silence and excitement to hear what Chatty Cathy had to say. But, the sound that came from my little doll was so jumbled and strange and no words could be understood! It sounded something like, “...irk ourk ... Irk...ourk” I pulled the string again and again with the same results. I tried to fix my doll, but Chatty Cathy could not chat! With tears in my eyes, I took my doll to my mom and told her Cathy was broken and I didn’t want her any longer. Mom took me and Chatty Cathy in her arms and rocked us both. Then, she stood me on my feet, straightened my nightgown, and handed my doll back to me and said, “Someone needs to love this little doll and I think you are just the one!” I looked at my mom’s tender eyes and then back down at my broken doll. Somehow, my mom’s words touched my heart and I started to feel something special for this little broken doll. Funny, but I never noticed how strange her voice sounded after that or at least it didn’t bother me. Even when school resumed and I took my doll to school for show & tell, the laughter from my classmates couldn’t convince me not to love my little doll! How could I have known Kris & Kari Deann, then how her words would change my life forever! Fourteen years later, Hal and I were expecting the birth of our second child. We were already the happy parents to our darling red-headed two-year old, Tricia. Waiting by her phone, was my mom. As with all her newborn grandchildren, she would come and help the young family. The call finally came and while my mom was in-flight to Oakland, California, Hal and I had were told the unbelievable – our newborn daughter, Kari, was born with a genetic disorder (Continued on page 3) Lewis Sisters Christmas, circa 1958 February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 2 The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dreams shall never die.-Edward Kennedy “I REMEMBER” (Continued from page 2) known as Trisomy 18. The doctor went on to explain that with this condition she would be severely physically and mentally handicapped and would probably live only a few short weeks or months. Mom arrived to find Hal and I devastated and our hearts broken. When mom first saw this tiny newborn granddaughter, she held her tenderly and whispered sweet words in her tiny ear. Because the hospital staff stated there was “nothing they could do that couldn’t be done at home,” Kari was sent home with us to die! Mom helped me write a list of all the things we wanted to share with our newborn daughter. My list included things such as putting lotion on her tiny body, singing to her, tape-recording her cry, putting a pink bow in her hair, etc. As I completed each one, I would cross it off my list. Once my list was completed, everything else became bonus time and days. The first few nights at home were filled with fear and anxiety! My mom knew I was exhausted, so she took the “night shift”. She courageously sent me to bed for a restless sleep while she carefully watched over Kari. Throughout the night, mom would bring Kari to me for her tube feedings and then I would go back to bed. Just a day or so later, I recall feeling overwhelmed with sadness by the thoughts of Kari’s death. I told mom I was scared to truly love this baby girl! I was afraid that her life and death would hurt too much and the pain would be too great to bear! Just as in those many years before, my mom took me in her arms and rocked me while I cried for the baby that would never be! Then, she tenderly looked into my eyes and said, “Someone needs to love and care for this little girl and I think you are just the one!” From that moment on, I felt something special for our Kris Holladay, Founder darling daughter, Kari! I began to feel unconditional love! Amazingly, Kari outlived all expectations placed upon her and this incredible little girl lived happily and lovingly for almost 11 years! Sixteen years after Kari died, my mom passed from this life to the next. I found myself trying to imagine my mother and Kari seeing each other again. I like to think I could hear Kari say, “Welcome home, grandma. I’ve missed you so much!” Lewis Sisters, circa 1960 SOFT Mission Statement SOFT is a network of families and professionals dedicated to providing support and understanding to families involved in the issues and decisions surrounding the diagnosis and care in trisomy 18, 13 and other related chromosomal disorders. Support can be provided during prenatal diagnosis, the child’s life and after the child’s passing. SOFT is committed to respect a family’s personal decision and to the notion of parent-professional relationships. Lewis Sisters, circa 1961 February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 3 All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on. - Havelock Ellis President’s Corner Dear SOFT Families: The holidays are over and we are moving through the new year. There are so many exciting things happening this year to look forward to. As we approach Valentine’s day, there will be the opportunity to share your child’s photo. In the month of March comes Trisomy awareness month. There will be suggestions that we can all participate in to help raise awareness in our community and our local hospital. Make sure you go to the website at www.trisomy.org as well as to the SOFT facebook page to follow what is happening in the month. Do you have ideas of what we can do to raise awareness? Let us know your ideas. Do you want to share information about SOFT? Go to the website where you are able to print the SOFT brochures. There will be some fun things happening in the month that we can all participate in. Stay tuned and see what you may be able to win! Survey Many of you participated in the survey that Stephanie Wallace is working on. She had a great response from all of you and was impressed with how wonderful our community has been to work with. She is working on the data right now and then she will finish her thesis project in March. She is hoping to have a manuscript written by Spring and will submit it for publication. Thanks to so many of you, there will be a study that will raise awareness of our children and experiences within our families. Thanks to all who participated. To help raise awareness make sure you add your story to the family story area on the SOFT website. Then you can share your story with others during the month of March. Remember you have to be a member of SOFT to have your child’s story included. Just fill in a registration form and you are a member. The membership is free, just sign yourself up. Don’t forget to by Barb VanHerreweghe also update us on surgeries your children have had. It is so important to have them in the surgery database so other families may be able to contact you if their child also needs that surgery. You can update that information online. Don’t forget that even though your membership is FREE, we still need you to renew each year so we have the updated information on you and your family. Conference 2014 Conference is quickly approaching. July 9-13th are the dates you need to put on your calendar. Did you know you can make your reservation now so you get a room in the saved room block. Just call the Sheraton Waterside Hotel in Norfolk, VA. At 757-6226664. The SOFT rate is $115. You can also go to the SOFT website and the conference page and you can then make your reservation there. Don’t miss out on getting a room, make your reservation now! June 7th is when reservations cannot be made for this cost, don’t wait register now. The clinics fill up quickly, registration opens on March 1st and will end the beginning of June. Don’t forget that you need to send your payment with your registration or you are not registered. The conference fee covers many meals while you attend the conference. The conference fee does not cover all the costs of the conference and the committee always puts together a wish list to help cover the costs of other items that will enhance your stay. If you or someone you know can help out with any of these items please let us know. See the list later in the newsletter. Stacy Update Stacy was just diagnosed with myoclonic seizure activity. She had 2 grand mal seizures 8 years apart but this is new. She spent a night and day in the hospital on the Epilepsy unit to be monitored and videoed. She had a day full of the movements they were able to view. She has now been put on Clonazepam beside her Keppra to see if that will stop the activity. As always when it seems things are going well she always gives us a wake up call. We are hoping this will work. She has been super happy and until the seizure activity she has been pretty healthy recently. This is the worst time of year for our kids and with the flu season upon us I pray that each of our children had their shots and will continue to have good health. Nicholas Wright I am sure most of you heard about the loss of Nicholas Wright who had full Trisomy 13. Nick has been with us so many years it is hard to believe that he is walking with the angels and many of your children. Keep Mark and Jane in your prayers and let them know you care. To all of you who have lost your children you have our deepest sympathy. Know your family in SOFT cares for you and yours. God Bless each of you! Newsletter So this is the second addition of the all electronic newsletter. Let us know how you like it. Don’t forget that just because your story is on the SOFT website, doesn’t mean we wouldn’t love a family update from you for the newsletter. Please send your articles to [email protected] To each of you have a healthy new year , stay tuned for the fun in March for Trisomy Awareness and hope to see everyone in Norfolk, Virginia in July. SOFTly, The VanHerreweghes Barb, Dave, Stacy (32 years old full Trisomy 18) and Andy February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 4 When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need. SOFT OF UTAH Chapter decorates a tree for Salt Lake’s annual FESTIVAL OF TREES HISTORY: For 43 years, the Festival of Trees has been a “Gift of Love” to children. The Festival is organized by a volunteer board of 85 women who enlist time and talents from thousands of individuals, organizations, businesses, and families throughout Utah and be- yond. Over $33 million has been raised for children at Primary Children’s Hospital through he Festival since 1971, with $1,871,546.91 raised last year and over 2 million was raised this year. Perhaps the greatest phenomenon of all is that everything is donated. The trees are decorated and purchased by individuals, families, organizations, businesses, and church groups. In addition, others generously donate items to fill the shops. Businesses provide the paper and printing of posters and tickets. Corporations offer their covered trucks and drivers to help deliver the trees, and so much more! Thousands of people join efforts by contributing countless hours and means to give "A Gift of Love" to children in need. Over the years, Festival of Trees has been copied many times throughout the United States and Canada. However, the Salt Lake City Festival of Trees remains the "granddaddy" of them all. For the 15th year, Utah’s SOFT Chapter has donated and decorated a tree for this worthy cause. Most of you who have attended a conference in Salt Lake City know about Primary Children’s Hospital – where our own Dr. John Carey resides. We love doing this every year and have such a great time getting together for such a worthy cause. …………………………………………… ….Submitted by Debbie Dye (SOFT of UTAH Chapter Co-Chair) The SOFT Times is published by SOFT, Inc. Editors for the 2013-2014 fiscal year : Margaret & Jim Thompson 1232 Seminole Drive Richardson, TX 75080 [email protected] 972-234-8788 Please submit all stories, pictures, info, etc. to the above address. If you wish to have items returned, please include a self addressed, stamped envelope. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 5 You can only lose what you cling to. - Buddha December 18, 2013 Happy Holidays to our friends and family. We count our blessings every year this time of year as we reflect on the year that has gone by so quickly. We hope this Christmas letter finds you well and blessings abundant. We’ve had a blessed year and are most grateful for our associations with our extended family, friends and loved ones. JIM - is working hard as ever. The last 4 years he was traveling for Kroger all over the country. He was offered a District Manager job back at Smith’s about a year ago, so most of his stores are in town, but he does have 4 stores in Wyoming that he tries to visit at least once a month. We are so grateful that we have him home more often and are getting to know him again. He truly loves his new job and all of the employees he is able to be in contact with. He says it’s very rewarding and of course he’s so happy to be home to watch James grow up. James loves his “Papa” and is very excited when he comes home every night. DEBBIE- Continues to work in the seasonal department at the Smith’s corporate offices. I love being involved with the buying end of things at Smith’s and love all the things I am learning after being in the stores for so many years which I also loved. It’s just fun to learn new things and I am doing that. I will celebrate 35 years with the company next year. Oh my, that time went by fast. Both of us are enjoying our grandson James and wonder what we ever did without him. It’s been so fun to watch him grow and learn things. CHELSEA, SPENCER, AND JAMES Continue to live with us while Spencer is in graduate school at the U. James just turned 2 on Dec. 2 and is a typical 2 year old and ALL BOY. It’s been so fun to have that cute little guy greet us every night when we come home from a long day. He’s been a true joy. Spencer works at 1-800-Contacts while going to school and Chelsea is still teaching a couple of undergraduate accounting classes at Westminster College. She was offered the op- Happy Holidays to our friends and family from the Dye Family of Utah portunity to teach a graduate class next year, so she’s excited for that new adventure. She also works part time as a contract attorney mostly working here in Holladay with a local firm. She likes being able to do work from home so she can spend more time with James. KIMBER AND KADE – Bought a new home this year. They sold their condo in Murray and bought a home with a yard also in Murray. I’m hoping that means they’re ready for some little Waltons. I’m sure we’ll be blessed with baby Waltons someday, but the grandogger Zoey is a joy in our lives as well. James has taken a huge liking to Zoey and treats her like a sibling. Kade is still at Zion’s Bank and Kimber is at First National bank in their mortgage division. MORGANNE – her memory continues to be our inspiration. We celebrated her 15th birthday this year. We attended the annual SOFT (Support Organization For Trisomy) conference in Providence Rhode Island this year and as usual it was the highlight of our summer. We took the whole family and rented a house for the kids (our kids and James) while we were there so James would be able to play. A two year old in a hotel room for a week was not my idea of fun. We all had a great time and James totally enjoyed the Atlantic Ocean and the beach. He also loved the SOFT kids at conference. I love that he is learning about his Auntie Morganne and what a great influence she was and is in our lives and hopefully will be an influence on him as well. Our year was blessed and we thank God every day for those blessings and for our associations with our friends and family. Please know you are always in our hearts and continually in our prayers. Have a wonderful Christmas and a happy, safe, healthy and blessed New Year. Love and Prayers, Debbie and Jim Dye (and our angel Morganne) Chelsea, Spencer and James Woolley Kimber, Kade and Zoey Walton February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 6 Joy in looking and comprehending is nature’s most beautiful gift.-Albert Einstein Best Wishes for a Healthy New Year 2014 Mary Donohue sends her best grin and smile to all her SOFT friends. She looks like she is planning her New Year’s eve party and won’t tell Mom what she is up to! Jack and Judie Laird, shown right, send their best wishes to all the SOFT families. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 7 It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest stars. ― Richard Evans PROFESSIONAL VIEWPOINT: Journal Club By: John C. Carey, MD, MPH, Medical Advisor, SOFT Guon J., Wilfond BS, Farlow B, Brazg T, Janvier A. 2013. Our children are not a diagnosis: The experience of parents who continue their pregnancies after a prenatal diagnosis of trisomy 13 or 18. Am J Med Genet Part A, December 5. Epub ahead of print. Nishi E, Takamizawa S, et. al, and Kosho T. 2013. Surgical intervention for esophageal atresia in patients with trisomy 18. Am J Med Genet Part A, December 5. Epub ahead of print. Two important articles have recently appeared on the online version of the American Journal of Medical Genetics, and both will be published in print in the February 2014 issue. These 2 papers provide new knowledge that is helpful and significant in the care and management of children with trisomy 13 and 18. The first of the two papers (cited above) is authored by the group led by Barb Farlow and Dr. Annie Janvier, who have extended their questionnaire studies of parents of persons with trisomy 13 and 18 belonging to various internet-based support groups, some of which include SOFT families. The authors surveyed parents where the baby had been diagnosed to have trisomy 13 or 18 during pregnancy, and the women chose to continue their pregnancy. Since pregnancy termination rates in Europe for prenatally diagnosed pregnancies of trisomy 13 and 18 are over 90%, investigating the impressions and experiences of the families who continue is crucial to our understanding of the challenges that the families face. The majority of parents did perceive some pressure to terminate, and most were told that the baby “would likely die before birth.” What is most important for healthcare professionals and providers is that the parents describe “special” caretakers who gave balanced and personalized information, respected their choice, and provided support. The insights gained from this article are likely familiar to many families reading this piece, but this information is crucial – I would assert – to healthcare providers. The second paper by Nishi and colleagues is authored by the Japanese group led by Dr. Kosho and is additionally helpful in care and management. About 5% of children with trisomy 18 will have the gastrointestinal malformation called esophageal atresia (EA) with a tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF). There have been a number of ethical discussions and published articles over the years about the management of newborns with trisomy 18 who have the EA and TEF as part of the syndrome. Dr. Nishi and Kosho and their coauthors looked at the outcome of newborns with trisomy 18 who underwent a palliative surgical approach compared to those who had received more “radical” surgery for the EA/TEF. The outcome in the two groups was different with those receiving the radical surgery having 27% 1-year survival rate compared to 0% in the palliative surgery group. This work – like Dr Kosho’s seminal paper in 2006 – suggests (although based on only 24 children) that, when more intervention occurs, 1-year survival of infants with trisomy 18 increases. This issue is important, because, prior to Dr. Kosho’s 2006 paper on intensive respiratory care, the question of what would happen if an infant with trisomy 18 was treated with more intervention was essentially unknown. This work addresses that question for one specific group (those with EA/TEF- about 5% of children) and adds more knowledge to this ongoing puzzle. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 8 Hope is the dream of a waking man.-Aristotle 2014 Conference Planning Committee Report St. Mary’s Home for Disabled Children Cares for more than 80 children and young adults, from newborns to 21-year-olds, who have severe disabilities live, play, go to school and receive the very best care at St. Mary’s Home. St. Mary’s also is caring for adults older than 21 with the opening of The Albero House on our campus. Thanks to the generosity of St. Mary’s they will be sponsoring a conference hot breakfast! NORFOLK BOTANICAL GARDENS Thursday afternoon Grief Outing Norfolk Botanical Garden is nationally recognized for its deep-rooted history and celebrated for its blooms in every season. In 1938 a WPA grant paid 220 African-American workers to clear 30 acres of dense vegetation, sowing the seeds for what is now one of the largest collections of azaleas, camellias, roses and rhododendrons on the East Coast. The 155 acre garden is home to 40 distinctive themed gardens, 95 species of birds and 30 kinds of butterflies. Our latest garden is World of Wonders – A Children’s Adventure Garden – a 3-acre garden where kids explore the connections between plants, international culture and the environment – all while having fun. Norfolk Botanical Garden is a Virginia Historic Landmark and is listed on the National Register of Historic Places. CHKD is doing our medical clinics on Thursday afternoon, July 10th. They are providing a lunch for parents and SOFT kids at noon prior to the start of the medical clinics. The specialties being offered are Neurology, Pulmonology, Cardiology, Gastroenterology, Orthopedics, ENT, Surgery, Urology and Genetics. Dr. John Carey, medical director for SOFT will speak at Grand Rounds at CHKD on Thursday morning. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 9 It is never too late to be what you might have been.-George Eliot 2014 Conference Planning Committee Report Rick Guidotti: Thursday Welcome Dinner Speaker Friday morning Photo Shoot Rick Guidotti, an award-winning former fashion photographer, has spent the past fifteen years working internationally with advocacy organizations/NGOs, medical schools, universities and other educational institutions to effect a sea-change in societal attitudes towards individuals living with genetic difference; his work has been published in newspapers, magazines and journals as diverse as Elle, GQ, People, the American Journal of Medical Genetics, The Lancet, Spirituality and Health, the Washington Post, Atlantic Monthly and Life Magazine. Rick is the founder and director of Positive Exposure, an innovative arts, education and advocacy organization, working with individuals living with genetic, physical, cognitive and behavioral difference. Positive Exposure utilizes the visual arts to significantly impact the fields of genetics, mental health and human rights. Rick Guidotti’s photographic exhibition, Positive Exposure; The Spirit of Difference, premiered at the People’s Genome Celebration, June 2001, at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History in DC. and continues to exhibit in galleries, museums and public arenas internationally. Rick Guidotti’s Positive Exposure photo and video presentation explores the social and psychological experiences of people living with genetic, physical, cognitive and behavioral conditions of all ages and ethno-cultural heritages. Positive Exposure provides new opportunities to see individuals living with a genetic difference first and foremost as a human being with his/her own challenges rather than as a specific diagnosis/disease entity. Rick Guidotti and Positive Exposure continue to celebrate the richness and beauty of human diversity. Friday night family outing with backfield picnic dinner included The Norfolk Tides are a minor league baseball team in the Triple-A International League. They play at Harbor Park in Norfolk, Virginia. Since 2007 they have been a farm team of the Baltimore Orioles; prior to that, they had a 38-year affiliation with the New York Mets. The Gwinnett Braves are a minor league baseball team based in unincorporated Gwinnett County, Georgia within the Atlanta metropolitan area. The team plays in South Division of International League and they are the Triple-A affiliate of the Atlanta Braves Major League Baseball club. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 10 Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another:”What! You, too? Thought I was the only one”-C.S. Lewis Site of the Annual Picnic and Memorial Balloon Release Ceremony on Saturday, July 12th "When Hampton Roads movers and shakers want to celebrate in style, they turn to celebrity Chef/Owner Phillip Craig Thomason of VINTAGE kitchen, one of the hottest restaurants and special event destinations in the area." -Vow magazine Vintage Kitchen is a restaurant with a sweeping waterfront view of Virginia's most famous harbor/Elizabeth River and is located within walking distance next to the Sheraton Norfolk Waterside Hotel. The restaurant has an outdoor lawn area on the Elizabeth River for events of all sizes. Older Sibling Outing on Friday, July 11th (ages 12-up) The older SOFT Siblings will be bussed to Virginia Beach, VA for a fun outing at Ocean Breeze Water Park. 849 General Booth Blvd., Virginia Beach, VA 23451 Phone: 757-422-4444 Bring Your Swimsuits! Younger Sibling Outing on Friday, July 11th (ages 5-11) 221 High Street Portsmouth, VA 23704 Phone: 757-393-5258 February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 11 Actions speak louder than words, but not nearly as often.-Mark Twain 2014 Conference Planning Committee Members Milan, T-18, and dad at the conference planning committee meeting. Cute little 3 year old Milan’s parents are Tony and Yolanda Myrick. Mary Steele, Ryan’s mom, shown left, Lynne Stockman, Lyndsay’s mom, center and Tony Myrick, Milan’s dad. They are attending the January SOFTconference planning committee meeting. See Ryan Steele’s Story on page 22 Frank Barnes, left, & Rick Steele at the conference committee meeting. Frank and Ann are the parents of Megan, T-18, 1985-2004. Rick and Mary are the parents of 14 year old Ryan, T-18 mosaic. Lyndsay and dad enjoyed the conference committee meeting. Lyndsay, T-18 is 13 & 1/2 years old and has grown a lot this year! November/December 2012/January 2013, The SOFT Times, Page 12 If we are to live together in peace, we must come to know each other better.-Lyndon Johnson 2014 Conference Planning Committee Members Shown left to right: Tony Myrick, Buster Stockman, Abir Schmidt and Ann Barnes in attendance at the January 18, 2014 SOFT Conference committee meeting held at the Stockman’s. Abir’s beautiful daughter, Summer, T-13, is 26 months old. Get ready for “Rollin’ on the River”… the Elizabeth River, that is. J O I N S O F T 2 0 1 4 The committee has planned a conference with the needs of our diverse membership in mind. They are busy arranging workshops, outings and meals for us. Won’t you join us in July? November/December 2012/January 2013, The SOFT Times, Page 13 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you SOFT Sincerely Appreciates Your Generosity, And We Recognize The Love That These Donations Represent Donations to SOFT’s General Funds Ioannis Karmis Krista Thompson and family Dr. Nigel Croft GoodSearch.com. This donation was earned by SOFT supporters who visited Goodsearch.com when searching the web. Jennifer Donovan Barbara Dehn Patricia Powell United Way’s Donor Choice Program of Greater Philadelphia and Southern New Jersey Scott Lindenbaum Sandra Kerr Manuel Reyna Alyssa Vukson Joseph and Laurie Hetzel Amy’s Sweet Simplicity Donations to the Joey Watson Fund, established to help families attend the annual SOFT conference Krista Thompson and family Donations to the annual SOFT conference Jenny, Marc, Sydney, Isaac and Cohen Childress In Memory of Simon Dominic Crosier Scott and Sheryl Crosier Janet Staicoff In Memory of Samuel Matthew Vukson Alyssa Vukson (Wolfe, LLC) In Honor of Thristan Williams Mary Botello In Memory of Maggie Elisabeth Barlowe and In Memory of Violet Ryan Barlowe James Adames In Memory of Julia Grace Childress Jenny, Marc, Sydney, Isaac and Cohen Childress In Memory of Faith Anne Sewell Matt and Betsy Toombs The Hogan Family Sherri Gribble The Hourigan Family In Memory of Noelle Salaman The Preferred Solutions Team In Memory of Nicholas Wright Shannon K. MacMaster Russel and Mary Waller Robert and Rita Spoor Barry Weaver: “Nick and his family have been shining lights for me personally and professionally. I owe them so much for opening my eyes to the beauty of creation that is in each of us. Thank you!” Mark Gilmore Corey and Tricia Silver Sharon and Gus Binkowski Cindy Cook Beth and Stacy Ward David and Molly Wuethrich Ret. Col. James and Anita Norton Lawrence and Mary Banta Sheryl Honegger and Bennie D. Hower Sheryl and Scott Crosier D. Scott and Catherine Fisher David and Pam Becker Tim and Marlys Bennington James and Nancy Bresnahan Philip and Malissa Josephson Jay Pfister State Farm Insurance, Human Resources Darrell, Kurt, Pam, Mitch and Paul: “We all work with Mark, and our hearts go out to Mark and Jayne.” February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 14 Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you In Memory of Jonathan Jamari Harrison Pat and Jim Marker Chris Marker In Memory of Regan Lawson Aunt Chris, Uncie Craig and Cousin Carlie In Memory of Nora Jasmer Ohm Ryan Flanders Sioux Falls Up and Coming Joe and Jane Newell Denise Miller In Memory of Kamry Ann Thompson Krista Thompson, “My family is thankful for the support we were given with our daughter Kamry Ann Thompson. We were blessed to have an amazing nine days with her. Thank you for giving families hope!” Jeannie and Bill Mills Debbie (Pender) and Jeff Owens, in memory of Super Girl, baby Kamry Bravo Company “Phantoms” In Honor of Krissy Krotzer “A Butterfly’s Touch”, Running with Krissy In Memory of Frank Joseph Jorgensen Diane Gaines, The Laremont School In Memory of Nicholas Moustirats Marie Berhan John and Maureen Giusti Sandra Kerr Christy and Brian Sizemore In Memory of Isabella Powell Leila Hope Adamson In Honor of Crystal Faith Magtoto Colleen Belmonte Magtoto and family, “Crystal Faith celebrated her 2yr birthday on Dec.2! God has blessed us so much, and we hope to pay it forward.” Karen Austria Connie Magnoto Clinton Magtoto Agnes Abulencia Jarrel Abulencia The Manuel Family Michelle Hernandez In Memory of Rhys Austin Khoury Elias, Amy and Wendy Khoury, “Rhys would have been 3 years old on Dec. 14. We miss him very much and hope he is looking down on us each day feeling the love we have for him.” In Memory of Keylinee Velasquez Keysee Velasquez, “In honor of my baby sister, Keylinee. May she rest in peace. She will always remain in my heart.” In Honor of Baby Jackson Liberatore, Chris and Brittany Liberatore Daniel, Irene and Ethan Liberatore In Honor of Dr. Scott and Mrs. Vivian Showalter Russell H. Showalter, Jr. In Memory of Jordan Arella Coulombe Sally and Ray Boucher, her grandparents In Honor of Mari Logan Jamie and Matt Emmert In Memory of Sarah Marcela Poole Joseph Meijide February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 15 ~ · Do not dwell in the past, do not dwell in the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.-Buddha Full Circle By Pam Healey It was October 17, a cool autumn evening, when we veered right away from our usual turn to our health center and traveled a half mile between the hospitals that flanked Brookline Avenue and made up the Longwood medical district that distinguishes Boston. We pulled into a parking garage, its low ceilings, tight turns and narrow parking spaces familiar. They must have been more familiar to Michael who parked there a hundred times, while I was hospitalized three times, the last stay lasting over three months. Twentyseven years earlier, a dozen times we had parked in the Francis Street lot, crossed the street and tentatively entered the hospital for our group counseling sessions. We would cross the lobby, then go upstairs to meet with other parents trying to grasp the death of their newborn. There was always a sense at this birthing hospital that everyone else coming and going through the lobby was joyfully visiting, welcoming and exclaiming over a newborn that would soon come home. Every time we entered this hospital to face again what had happened was an act of courage. I did not want to talk about something for which there were no words, but here twice a month we walked through the throng of those celebrating a birth and found our way to others whose loss matched ours. Finally, there was nothing more to say; healing would have to happen elsewhere. I did not want to return, and I have not in more than two decades. This night, as I entered under the arches of the portico, then through the heavy glass doors, I had a sense of familiarity: the austere lobby, the bustle, the paging, and the sense of happiness often missing from other hospital lobbies. We were directed to the right and followed a corridor to a new building for maternity patients. I carried Conor with me that night, consciously, unavoidably, as we walked away from the old building, where I had carried him after his death. A young doctor had tried to take him from me, but I held tighter, carrying him to the Family Room, where he had been baptized a few days earlier. This older part of the hospital is where we had left him a few hours later, our lives changed. As we entered the new area this October evening, I noticed the overhead sign: Mary Horrigan Connors Center for Women's Health. I learned it is referred to as the Connors Center. It is here that high risk pregnancies and at risk neonates are cared for in the largest NICU in New England. All the healthy babies that are the norm also spend their first few days here, as they are checked on, and their moms rest and practice new routines. I wonder if the rocking chair we gave in Conor’s memory made the trip to the family room within the new NICU. I wonder what is left of where Conor and I spent three months, while we held off his delivery a day at a time, and I spent six and a half of his seven days, with him between nearby Children’s Hospital and the Brigham. Now, in a sense the same hospital carries his name, as well as what memories we have. The sign is also seen from the outside on a mas- sive new building that dwarfs the towers where we stayed. Then and now, nine thousand infants enter the world at the Brigham. Twenty-seven years ago, a nurse remarked that it had been nine months, since they had had a baby with trisomy 18; statistically, they were overdue. She knew Conor was coming. This night we were overjoyed to be welcoming one of the healthy infants from the nine thousand, one of the many, who despite everything that could go wrong, enter the world healthy. We took the elevator to the sixth floor, negotiated the narrow corridors and located Tara’s room. She was seated on the bed, and beside her in his small crib was her seven hour old son, a pound bigger than Conor had been at birth. Tara and Conor had been close to the same birth weight. She would not come home to us for over four months. Tara, still tired, but holding some remnants of the pre-birth glamor she took the time to execute after her water broke, was radiant. She proudly and lovingly handed Cyrus to me. He was tiny, fragile, but alert. I had not held a baby so small since Conor. Cyrus, with his long dark hair, and dark eyes with a slightly Asian cast, looks like his mother, those Indian genes dominating. I rocked him, talked softly to him and marveled that he was here, doing all the things a newborn was expected to do. He was here free of tubes, wires and uncertainty, easily cuddled and responsive. The evening of his birth we, his grandparents, had entered the scenario we had expected for ourselves more than a quarter of a cen- February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 16 (Continued on page 17) We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.-Buddha Full Circle (Continued from page 16) tury ago but had been denied. It was time to experience a birth replete with joy. In the next few weeks, then months, I helped care for Cyrus on the weekends. To help hold off a feeding by a few minutes, I played Teddy Bear’s Picnic from Conor’s blue gingham teddy, which my mother had bough at the hospital gift shop. This now slightly worn bear with his mushed nose, flat tail, and ragged ribbon had also serenaded Patrick and Tara. I became involved in Cyrus’ baby routines. Giving Tara a break to go to the gym, or shop, Cyrus and I would settle on my bed, while he looked around, took short naps and kicked, and I did my computer work for clients. Putting felt shapes on my nearby white lampshade captured his attention when his vision was developing and entertained him. Ode to Joy, later Christmas carols, kept us both happy. Now, he is a bit more insistent if I work too long, and I have learned to work with intermittent breaks, stopping every few sentences to play with him with tag dog, Sophie the Giraffe, mirror and rattle. Tara has taken to this role, as if she were always headed in only this direction. She charts his feedings, has found what I called well marketed gadgets, that turned out to be well chosen aids, even if we all somehow managed the old fashioned way. She has directed her fashion obsession to infant clothes. I am still adjusting to baby clothes with skulls and crossbones and mini camo, but she humors me and, also, dresses him in baby blue onesies with yellow ducks. She has her favorite books, one a medical guide given by a SOFT mom, and she reads regularly about developmental milestones and what may be causing him to fuss. Her friends are delighted by the first baby of the group and help spoil him. Uncle Patrick took to him immediately, eager to feed, hold and play with him and wishes he were closer and working fewer hours. Pam and Cyrus Many years ago, probably after the suggestion of a chore to be completed before the trip to the beach, my young niece Karen, now in her early thirties, looked at my mother and wisely said, “it is really hard being a mom, and it is really, really hard being a kid, but I think it is not so hard being a grandma.” Tara is making motherhood look easy, as she joyfully takes what she must do in stride. We know there will be fatigue, doubts and challenges ahead, but this is a blissful time. Cyrus seems fortunately to have inherited his father’s calm nature, but when a feeding is delayed, I see his mother’s relentlessness. I have decided Karen had it right. After the challenges of childhood and adolescence, young adulthood and the wonderful but formidable tasks of motherhood, being a grandmother is a delight. This grandmother business is all it is cracked up to be. I stayed put to write for the newsletter this morning, instead of an early departure that would assure driving ahead of the storm, so I ended up riding the storm to Rhode Island. With the temperature right at freezing and dense snowflakes the size of fists, the driving was stressful as five inches of slush covered the highway. Three times I was blinded by gray road sludge that hit my windshield, the wipers only moving the lower layer to let the higher layer slide into place. I averaged 34 mph on a 65 mph highway, until, at the Rhode Island border, the snow gave way to a gentle rain. I headed for the beach, knowing by tomorrow the promised biting cold, a gift from the Dakotas, might preclude a beach walk. The rain subsided and a silver winter sun intermittently broke through the grayness. I walked a few miles on a deserted beach, looking for beach glass and revising in my head what I had just written. On a stretch of Narragansett Bay that rarely yields green beach glass, our symbol for Conor, I found several vintage pieces, emerald green, rounded, and deeply burnished. I also found a rare treasure, a convoluted, thick piece of brown bonfire glass: broken, melted, folded, then February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 17 (Continued on page 18) If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.-Buddha Full Circle (Continued from page 17) sea-smoothed over decades in the turbulence of the bay. I found the rounded end of an old bottle. I had reflected this morning on my own journey, which had brought us back to where we began. I had found its symbols a few hours later: the green beach glass that connected us to our child and gave reassurance that brokenness could be transformed, and bonfire glass, the product of fire, wind and water, that speaks of the challenge of the crucible that changes and strengthens what it does not destroy. The circle that had broken cleanly from an old bottle and traveled intact fit perfectly in my gloved hand. It took twenty-seven and a half years, but we had come full circle. Welcome Baby Cyrus Ryan Clement 2013 Erin Jorgenson Scholarship Award Winner: Drew Stockman Shown left: Kim Jorgenson, Drew Stockman and Gloria Jorgenson February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 18 A wise man, recognizing that the world is but an illusion, does not act as if it is real, so he escapes the suffering.-Buddha The Erin Jorgenson Memorial SOFT Sibling Scholarship The Erin Jorgenson Memorial Scholarship was established by the 2010 Conference Hosts, Kim and Gloria Jorgenson, of Waubay, South Dakota, in honor of their daughter Erin, who had a trisomy 18 condition. This $500 annual scholarship is awarded based on criteria explained in the application and is available to those attending college, university or trade school. Applicant families must be current SOFT members but attendance at the annual conference is not required. The deadline for applying is 1 June, each year. ERIN JORGENSON MEMORIAL SOFT-SIB SCHOLARSHIP Qualifications 1. Must have/have had a sibling with Trisomy 18, Trisomy 13, or a Related Disorder. 2. Family must be paid-up SOFT members. 3. Applicant must be entering at least 2nd year of college, university, or tech school. 4. Attendance at the upcoming SOFT Conference is desirable but not mandatory. 5. Past recipients are not eligible to reapply. Deadline Applications and accompanying materials must be postmarked by June 1, 2013. Applicants are encouraged to submit applications early, so if any needed material is missing, it can be corrected before the deadline. Presentation The $500 Scholarship award will be announced and presented at the upcoming SOFT Conference. The money will be given directly to the recipient to be used as needed: a. Tuition and fees required to enroll or attend an educational institution, OR b. Fees, books, supplies, and equipment required for courses of instruction. If the recipient is unable to attend the SOFT Conference, the check will be mailed to him/her. Application Copies may be made of the following application, or to receive a printable application online e-mail Gloria Jorgenson at [email protected] Questions may be e-mailed or call Gloria at 605-947-4752(home) or 605-947-4461(work). ERIN JORGENSON MEMORIAL SOFT-SIB SCHOLARSHIP APPLICATION I. Personal Information Name_____________________________________________________________________________________ Address____________________________________________________________________________________ City, State, Zip_______________________________________________________________________________ Phone_______________________________________________________________________ E-Mail_______________________________________________________________________ Career Goal__________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ Extracurricular Activities, Volunteer Activities, Work History_____________________________ _______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 19 He is able who thinks he is able.-Buddha The Erin Jorgenson Memorial SOFT Sibling Scholarship _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ II. Academic Information School you will be attending_____________________________ Address_____________________________________________ City, State, Zip________________________________________ Phone (admissions office)______________________________ Anticipated Graduation Date (month/year)__________________ III. SOFT Sibling Information and Essay SOFT Sibling Name___________________________________ Diagnosis___________________________________________ Please attach an essay of no more than 600 words about your SOFT Sibling and the impact he or she had on your life. IV. Please include two signed letters of recommendation. These may be from employers, instructors, church contacts, etc.; not family members. V. Application Certification, Signature and Date I hereby certify that all of the information provided in this application is complete and true to the best of my knowledge. I hereby grant permission for the scholarship committee to contact my references and/or school if necessary, and if granted this Scholarship I agree to the publication of my name and likeness. International Committee Report By Pam Healey New international registrations include two families from Brazil, two new families from Canada, two from England and one from Wales. There is one family each from Austria, Australia, Costa Rica, Germany, The Netherlands, Russia and Turkey. The children have been diagnosed with T-18, T-13, mosaic 13, 9 and partial 18. Some of these children have yet to be born, many are infants and there is a nine year old, a ten year old and a twenty four year old. A few are deceased, one living less than a day. We welcome our families from around the globe. Our stories are universal, and despite our language and cultural differences, we are family united by diagnosis and love of a special child. We share similar joys and challenges on our common journey. Applicant’s Signature__________________________________ Date Submitted______________________________________ Mail completed application, postmarked no later than June 1, 2014, to Kim and Gloria Jorgenson 10 High Plains Avenue Waubay, SD 57273 Be sure to include with the signed and dated application: ● Your essay AND ● Your two letters of recommendation ________________________________ February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 20 Friendship is the only cure for hatred, the only guarantee of peace.-Buddha March is Trisomy Awareness Month Submitted By Terre Krotzer March is Trisomy Awareness month and between the Soft website (www.trisomy.org) and the Soft Facebook Group (www.facebook.com/groups/TrisomySOFT/) there will be a lot happening! Many of the projects we are planning will feature our children. Below you will find the link to submit a photo of your child to have your child included in our Celebration. Some highlights of the month will include a website slide show, daily activities and ideas for Trisomy Awareness your daily life and a website scavenger hunt with Daily Giveaways! We will once again have a Trisomy Awareness "cover photo" for your Facebook Wall that Terre will personalize with your child's photo and information. Last year we had almost 100 Facebook cover photos out there creating Trisomy Awareness and celebrating our children! Let’s take it over 100 this year. If you aren’t already a member of our Facebook group, please drop in and join us! Instructions for submitting photos to be included in our Trisomy Awareness Celebration Please submit your child’s photo to: [email protected]. Include your child's name, diagnosis, birthdate and date of death if applicable. Please email with a subject line of “Photo for 2014 Trisomy Awareness.” Also please let me know in the email if you want a Facebook cover photo created for you. Running with Krissy for Trisomy Awareness Month! In the spirit of Trisomy Awareness month “Running with Krissy” is back in full swing, and Larry and Krissy are back on the trail! Larry and Krissy will run in the Alamo 13.1 in San Antonio, Texas on March 22, 2014. This will be their second race and our vision is growing! Go Krissy & Larry!!! February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 21 Pull yourself together and use what you have.-Betsy Canas Garmon results came back a few days later - MOSAIC TRISOMY 18. Along with the heart cath, Ryan received a blood transfusion from Daddy, started a new cardiac medication and GAINED a pound in a week. He was also baptized that week at the hospital. Busy week for him! We get this diagnosis and have never heard of Trisomy 18! The geneticist is on vacation and our pediatrician explains what he can. So we go to the Internet and are scared to death! A week later, our geneticist returns and meets with us and explains that Ryan will be writing his own book because he is Mosaic. He couldn't promise us that Ryan would live a long life, but he also gave us hope that with good medical care, Ryan had a fighting chance. Ryan was in and out of the hospital a few more times for fevers, but his feedings by mouth improved enough that we stopped the NG feedings in July. My husband was deployed for 6 months, so my mom and I with my kids, attended the SOFT conference in Orlando. What a wonderful experience! We returned from Orlando and had another visit with the cardiologist. By that time, Ryan's weight gain had slowed down again, his heart medications were at their limit, the hole had not gotten smaller on its own and it was time to operate. Rick (Daddy) returned from his deployment mid Sept and the surgery was scheduled for Oct. 5th. Ryan was running one of the "routine" temps of 102 degrees but after running some tests, the surgeon and anesthesiologist decided to go ahead. Ryan sailed through the surgery itself, but then things went downhill upon his arrival to the PICU. By that evening his temp was up to 107 and they could not get it down. Ryan suffered circulatory collapse which resulted in a neurological insult. After 5 weeks in the hospital, we brought home a totally different baby. Ryan was rigid, was not seeing or Introducing Ryan Steele After a totally normal pregnancy of 41 weeks, Ryan was born on December 23, 1999, weighing in at 7 lb. 6 oz. and measuring 19 inches in length. He had Apgar’s of 9 and 10 and seemed perfectly normal. His only difficulty was latching on during breast feeding. We were discharged late Christmas eve. He and I struggled for the next 2 days trying to get him to nurse. We finally set up an appointment with a lactation consultant at our Navy Hospital where Ryan was born. We met with her for an hour, and during that time, had some luck. That same day, we visited the pediatrician. Ryan was running a fever, so they admitted him to the hospital. After 2 days and blood, urine and spinal cultures, he was released. But by that time was down to about 6 lbs. At 2 weeks of age, his pediatrician suspected a heart defect and referred us to a pediatric cardiologist. Ryan met with him at 3 weeks of age and was diagnosed with a fairly large VSD. Over the next few weeks we struggled with feedings and very slow weight gain. At six weeks of age, his cardiologist decided he did not look good, and needed to be admitted to the local children's hospital for congestive heart failure. It was during that stay that we were taught NG tube feedings. At first, Rick and I were both horrified at the thought of inserting a tube down our son's nose! Well, he came home, and slowly started to gain weight. But since more food was now going in, he started to reflux. We dealt with that and he continued to be monitored by the cardiologists. But then someone mentioned his "low set ears." We tried to get more information, but no one seemed to want to answer those questions. At 3 months of age, Ryan was admitted to have a heart cath done. It was then that the geneticist was called in. They ran tests on his blood and the hearing and cried 95% of the day and night. We were given little hope that this would change. Fast forward and here we are 13years later.... 4 more SOFT conferences, a lot of doctors’ visits, a g-tube, bilateral hip adductor release surgery (February 2002), 2 sets of ear tubes, tonsillectomy, adenoidectomy, a supraglotoplasty, twice broken femur, 3 wheelchairs, a VEST machine, COUGH Assist and many, many visits from his therapists( and 1 Navy transfer). Ryan has made wonderful progress! He is hearing (after having his first set of tubes placed in February 2001) and vocalizing. He has seizures, severe scoliosis, and constant bowel issues, but on the positive side of things, can hold his head up, SMILES, LAUGHS, is gaining weight and growing taller. He attends public middle school and has a wonderful teacher, aides and nurses there. Virginia’s EDCD waiver program and Medicaid provide us up to 12 hours a day of nursing care and some more respite. We take one day at a time and thank God every day for each day we have with Ryan, his big sister Abigail, and little sister Ella! We also are so excited to be a part of next year’s conference and can’t wait to see you all there! Ed. Note: The Steele family is planning your conference for this year! February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 22 Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer.-Andre A. Jackson Ryan, above, with big sister Abigail and little sister Ella Introducing Ryan Steele ES F SO February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 23 MIL S T His loved ones are very precious to Him and He does not lightly let them die-Psalm 116:15 Remembering Nicholas Wright By Pam Healey I do not know when I first met Nicholas and his parents, Jayne and Mark, but he was young and adorable and drew us in. He beamed. So did they. We were drawn to his energy and happy spirit. When not energized, he seemed content, comfortably part of his surroundings. I remember helping in childcare years ago. Dominick Welch had volunteered to help and had quickly attached himself to Nicholas, who promised to be a fun play companion for the evening. We were all on mats scattered across the floor. Dom and Nicholas were playing, entertaining each other with toys, and Dom was talking to Nicholas, who was responsive enough to keep Dom right there, at his side and in conversation. Suddenly, Nicholas began to crawl across the mats. Dominick was beside himself, jumping up and down, proclaiming, “He crawls, he crawls, look at him, he has trisomy 13 and he crawls.” I didn’t have the heart to tell Dom that this wonder child had been crawling for a few years. Instead, we talked about how strong he was and coordinated to pull off such a feat, and how his crawling allowed him to explore and satisfy his curiosity. Even when he was a teenager in his wheelchair, Nicholas always seemed to be taking it all in, still exploring his environment and enjoying himself. He was energized by being in the thick of things. He still beamed. My pictures are evidence that he was always smiling, pleased with himself and happy to be part of what was happening. He seemed to thrive on activity, music and social interaction. Nicholas went to school, attended church and was a long time member of SOFT, attending many conferences and inspiring his parents to join conference committees in two states. He used a walker, pushed switches and played with musical toys. He had a number of surgeries to improve his quality of life and meet medical needs and rebounded. He lived a full life, which he left too soon, and will be greatly missed. Nicholas announced by his presence, his longevity and his tee shirts with what trisomy 13 was all about. He not only crawled and walked with support, he rode his special trike and was the king of special birthday cakes, each representing the triumph of another year, once unexpected by some but expected by those who knew him and his enduring spirit. Nicholas was more than a prognosis, that’s for sure. Those considering his prognosis would not have predicted his energy, lengthy survival despite serious set backs along the way and the great joy he experienced and brought to others. The name, Nicholas, consists of the Greek words for victory and people. There are those who would see this as an ironic name for someone with limited communication and mobility, ongoing medical interventions, an expected short lifespan and dependency on others for basic needs. Those would be the prognosis people. As Nicholas’ tee shirt announces: “It’s a Diagnosis, not a Prognosis.” He did well with the diagnosis and disproved the prognosis. Nicholas was victorious in a birth that is rare, in being among the 1020% who survive the first year and prevailing in the tiny percent of those with trisomy 13 who survive nearly two decades. He was victorious in his influence on those who were fortunate enough to come to know him, or maybe just met him along the way. His strong spirit outshines his diagnosis and its prognosis. He remains in hearts and memories. That is victory. He not only met developmental milestones amazing those who thought they knew better and those who held hope, but he developed a distinct and charming personality. There is the people part. Nicholas thrived in the company of people. He drew them in and lightened their spirits with his smile. He reached out and kept people close to him. Nicholas made a difference in the lives of others. Our prayers and warm thoughts go out to Jayne and Mark and other family members. So many of us are grateful that you generously shared Nicholas with us at so many conferences. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 24 I thank God upon every remembrance of you.-Philippians 1:3 N I C H O L A S February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 25 Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality-Emily Dickinson 1830-1886 Remembering Nicholas Wright By Sheryl Crosier I first met Nick about six months after our son, Simon went to heaven. Our first introduction was at the SOFT conference, July 2011, in Chicago. The next year, July 2012, I had the privilege of serving on the St. Louis SOFT conference committee with Nick’s parents, Mark and Jayne. I quickly learned of their unconditional love for their son and it was absolutely beautiful to observe how much they adored and nurtured their son. At the picnic in St. Louis, before we had the balloon release in memory of our angels, Nick grabbed my necklace and played with my hair. Alright, maybe it was more like he pulled at my hair. I then kissed Nick and told him how handsome he was. At that moment, I knew that he was connected to our son, Simon. I cannot put it into words, but I felt it completely. Nick had a warm spirit and captivating eyes. Nick drew me in with his contagious smile and moved my heart. He created a joyful atmosphere and his special abilities were obvious. It was as if he could listen Nicholas Wright & Sheryl Crosier to hearts and see something I couldn’t. I knew he was here for a reason and his life was simple, yet extraordinary. Nick didn’t seem to judge anyone. My own imperfections were even perfectly accepted by Nick. And, for that, I am grateful. While attending Nick’s visitation, it was as if he was right there in the church. There was such a peace and I believe his warm spirit filled the building. There were many photos of Nick and it was absolutely beautiful to witness his blessed personality from an infant to a handsome young man. I will always embrace his life as he continues to give hope to so many. He is my treasured gift and I am so honored and humbled to call Nick my friend. Until we meet again, Nick you are forever in my heart.-Sheryl Crosier SOFT Butterfly Wings N I C H O L A S February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 26 A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.-Stendhal Pediatric Teams By Pam Healey This week there was a local NPR presentation on a pediatric program that integrates specialists who care for children with chronic, life threatening illness. In “Helping Chronically Ill Children,” two guests, Dr. Jerome Groopman, Director of Experimental Medicine at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center and Dr. Joanne Wolf, the founder of PACT, a sixteen year old collaborative program of DanaFarber Cancer Institute and Boston’s Children’s Hospital, were interviewed about their involvement in an increasingly more common approach to care for seriously ill children, who are managed, not cured. Medical technology and new approaches by physicians, who think outside the box, has meant some children live longer with debilitating illness. Complex cardiac surgery, new drugs, transplants and other procedures have extended young lives. Longevity does not mean pain is absent or reduced, discomfort ameliorated or emotional concerns held at bay. Parents and patients, especially those who have an illness or condition with no blueprint, live with uncertainty. Parents, grateful that their children have survived despite a diagnosis, often feel helpless in making them more comfortable and less afraid. A solution was found in adding an extra team of people who will facilitate communication among specialists and bring clarity to the care of the whole child, thus adding value without adding complexity. The team members understand palliative care in a way specialists do not. At Harvard Medical School in four years of training, medical students receive one half day on palliative care, along with whatever they may pick up on rotations.That short lesson is an improvement over past teaching practice in medical schools. It is important to understand what palliative care is designed to do. Palliative care, which focuses on the whole patient, and aims to improve quality of life by minimizing symptoms and relieving stress and fears, is typically administered by a team of doctors, often specialists, and other professionals. Team members assist parents and/or patients in making difficult medical decisions, by giving information, answering questions and listening. They also coordinate care with medical specialists, such as cardiologists, urologists, oncologists, neurologists, nutritionists and others and help those making and keeping appointments navigate the health care system, which for those with complex illness is necessarily complex. Perhaps the most important role is support in making a plan for living well, consistent with values, hopes (and reality) and immediate and long range needs and goals. Support for parents and siblings means support for the child struggling to survive. This concept of teams for pediatric patients with serious disease is being carried out at Boston Children’s Hospital and at other hospitals across the country. In Boston it is called the Pediatric Advanced Care Team or PACT. Such a team is designed to bring the old fashioned family pediatrician’s style of medicine, that is indepth, personal caring, to the specialist whose care focuses on one aspect of the illness or condition. The teams coordinate the care of the many specialists, support families as they make difficult decisions regarding treatment, and reassure the child, along with ameliorating pain and anxiety. The palliative teams are becoming more common; more than 69% of the 162 hospitals surveyed recently have such a program in place, and most are less than a decade old. Issues have been raised on the value of an additional team for children who may see a dozen or more specialists. Financial resources are already constrained, and adding the expense of more professionals to the care of children requiring so many specialists with limited hope for survival for many can be seen as an unnecessary allocation of the limited hospital resources. The program model has been studied, and it was found programs such as PACT reduce costs of medical care for the children the team serves. There are fewer hospitalizations, which saves money and adds to normalcy for the child. A UCLA study found there were savings of $1600 per child a month from a third shorter (or fewer) hospital stays. Better communication among specialists, facilitated by PACT, means better determination of necessary procedures, less redundancy and streamlining of appointments. Another problem is that hospitals survive financially on fee per service and admissions. PACT members makes house calls, getting to know the child in normal surroundings, spend time with families around general concerns, stop by during hospitalizations-- all difficult to define by billable hours, and they reduce hospitalizations. Palliative care works from the values of the family, carrying out what needs to be and can be done without alienating people. There are conversations that need to happen, some of them difficult, some involving questions for which there are no sure answers. The PACT professionals bring sensitivity to these conversations, thereby helping both the child and the family. The ability to direct these important and sensitive discussions comes from knowledge, training, and experience. PACT members also typically have specialty training, so specialists respect them, more than they might respect generalists. Teams such as PACT seem to be the wave of the future in children’s hospitals that care for children with debilitating illness. For some young patients with rare conditions, complex care, and changing needs, the pathway model, which has increasingly been the approach in medicine, just February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 27 (Continued on page 29) Beware of how you take away hope from another human being.-Oliver Wendell Holmes Book Review by Pam Healey Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Decides? Abortion, Neonatal Care, Assisted Dying, and Capital Punishment Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Decides?: Abortion, Neonatal Care, Assisted Dying, and Capital Punishment, by Sheldon Ekland-Olson, Routledge: New York, 2012 As we acknowledge the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the value of life question is raised repeatedly. For those of us who have faced a prenatal diagnosis or a chromosomal diagnosis of a neonate, the discussion is far from subjective. It raises emotions in a way not engendered by those with convictions of faith, constitutional law or individual rights, for our convictions are also experientially grounded. When termination is suggested or treatment withheld, the value of an individual life is questioned. Last year a book was published that explores in depth the issues of life and death that have been controversial as we declare whose rights need to be protected, who has the right to make such decisions, and how does the balance of protections and rights change over time. Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Decides?: Abortion, Neonatal Care, Assisted Dying, and Capital Punishment, is a historical, theological, sociological, legal, ethical, philosophical, and medical text developed from the popular University of Texas-Austin undergraduate course by author Sheldon Ekland-Olson. Behind each personal, political, medical or legal decision is the determination of social worth and social mandate. Also considered is the belief in the sanctity of life and the need to alleviate human suffering once it is apparent. He explores the importance of individual autonomy and death with dignity and the boundaries of protecting life in individuals at the beginning of life, a boundary not yet defined by consensus. The section titles give a roadmap for the book: A Moral System Evolves, The Early Moments and Months of Life, The Boundaries of Tolerable Suffering and Taking Life and Inflicting Suffering. The author explains we justify the violation of the sanctity of life and alleviation of suffering, despite their being universal moral imperatives, but do so with both “empathy and logic” as we reline boundaries and resolve dilemmas. Change occurs when scientific or technological advances and specific events raise questions, clarify situations or extend understanding of what is implied in the concept of social worth, leading to new resolutions or definitions that establish revised protective boundaries. He reminds us that the moral systems that are derived from this “do so along a jagged and often contentious path” (IX). To understand how boundaries are established, it is essential to understand the eugenics movement in the United States. Drawing on the writings of Thomas Malthus, concerned about an unchecked population, and Charles Darwin and the survival of the fittest, then Francis Galton who proposed that preventing suffering by manipulation was merciful, discussions ensued and policy developed. Progressive reformers and intellectuals determined that some lives are more worthy than oth- ers, and this belief spread to social reform initiatives. The well educated prosperous members of society were encouraged to have children, and those seen as less worthy were discouraged, or, even prevented, from procreating. Migration policies kept out individuals seen as undesirable. Life was protected by favoring the productive members of society. The idea of differential worth of individuals was established. Today’s quality of life yardstick seems to be a variation on that theme. The book is rich with detail and ideas. It is a social history in which decisions came over time, opponents reacted and dissension remained. Legal cases are presented in depth, and the law and response to it discussed. He presents the right to privacy and what that implies and how that lead to laws about contraceptive rights. He looks at constitutional rights. He also looks at the role of the three branches of government and that laws must be made by the legislative branch not the Supreme Court that decides cases like Roe v. Wade. He presents both the well organized and chaotic response to the Supreme Court’s decision in Roe v. Wade to determine the boundaries of life. He presents those galvanized by what did not seem a valid interpretation of the constitution and how they have kept the discussion alive for 40 years. He carefully builds the steps by which one legal decision leads to another and laws result, the public reacts, law enforcement reacts and what was “settled” is anything but settled. He gives an in depth presentation of the road to the legalization of abortion and what ensued. He explores the previous situation of back alley abortions, then changing technology, concern for those making choices that endangered lives, the constitution and how it could be interpreted about a situation not a concern to the Founding Fathers, and new arguments countering February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 28 (Continued on page 29) The dreams of the broken are mightier than the wishes of the dead.-Dodinsky Book Review by Pam Healey Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Decides? . . . (Continued from page 28) the decision. There is a great deal to digest, and the reader cannot help but come away with a broader and deeper understanding of an issue that is rarely relegated to the background. The next chapter addresses the history of partial birth abortion. The author remains neutral, presenting the history, the players, the drama, and the arguments. He also discusses the implications. For instance, the Partial Birth Abortion Ban of 2003 did not save any lives. It merely changed procedure. Terminations were still carried out after 24 weeks, in the womb, not in the birth canal. This is not a chapter for the squeamish. Of most interest to many of us in SOFT is the chapter titled, “Should the Baby Live? He begins by stating that, “It was a long established principle of the law that infants born alive were considered persons and fully entitled to the protection of the law” (185). Charles T. Canady, a member of Congress for eight years, now a Florida Supreme Court judge, was Chairman of the House Judiciary Subcommittee on the Constitution and was concerned about cultural and legal changes that were more accepting of death. Peter Singer, a Princeton bioethicist was proposing that only after 28 days would an infant have the full protection of the law and have the right to live. His argument was based on the lack of rationality and consciousness in a newborn. Personhood, which should be protected, was not a characteristic of newborns. He was pushing the boundary of what constituted protected life. He also argued that infants should not suffer; protecting and preserving life must be balanced against the suffering resulting from medical conditions. Canady introduced the Born-Alive Protection Act of 2000, which was signed into law two years later. What had not seen to be necessary to protect was threatened by new ideas about life and death. Several cases in which treatment was with- held from newborns with Down syndrome were discussed. Subsequent lawsuits were presented. The role of doctors determining if treatment was futile, the rights of parents, the determination of suffering and potential were discussed. Doctors consider if there is a 99.999% chance treatment will not work, then it is futile. For others the .001% chance may constitute some hope. Eklund-Olson writes, “A sense of futility comes when all hope is gone to achieve an acceptable quality of life. Some argue hope should give way to realistic assessment. For others, nothing is futile until the moment of death” (202). There is uncertainty. Definitions of quality of life, futility, potential are not clearly defined. Intentions are unclear. It is not established who makes such decisions about an infant’s care and life. The child does not have autonomy, and there are potentially competing advocates and caregivers: parents, other relatives, physicians, even lawyers, judges and government officials who have weighed in cases that then became public. Consensus is perhaps rare and establishing the boundaries to protect life of the newly born may be impossible. The author concludes “tension free resolution of the embedded dilemmas remain elusive, perhaps unachievable” (203). The conviction of sometimes choosing death as the better choice was extended across the lifespan giving rise to the right to die movement, rooted in what is tolerable suffering and the right for death with dignity. This is a book worth reading, but it takes time, a quiet place for concentration and time for reflection. I have only reviewed some chapters, but all are important, if the reader is to examine personal convictions related to the sanctity of life, personal decision making, constitutional rights, and exceptions that may push at conviction. This book addresses theory of human rights, but is grounded in real cases. We are moving forward or maybe it is backward on this and being informed is important for those who want to participate in the dialogue that leads to increased awareness of what is at stake, protection consistent with personal and societal values and necessary change. Pediatric Teams (Continued from page 27) does not work. There is uncertainty and no clear path. It is the team that helps forge new territory for children who in earlier decades would not have survived as long. There value is increasingly recognized as parents come to depend on them. Still, problems remain. Palliative care is seen by other professionals as a death watch, although it is different from Hospice, which focuses on the final weeks or months of a patient’s life. Roles played by members of the team seem to be redundant to some; family physicians and specialists can do the same. There is the fear that specialists may be less attentive when the team is involved, so some cared decreases. There needs to be a protocol by which children are assigned to the team: clear guidelines should be in place so the limited resources of the team are used with those best able to benefit. Federally, there is support, but states have made varying commitment to providing pediatric palliative care. The Concurrent Care for Children under the Affordable Care Act requires that Medicare pay for palliative care for those pediatric patients eligible for hospice care. Other solutions may come out of this, such as retraining family pediatricians in palliative care, so they can coordinate the care of their young patients and know what to say to parents to elicit the information they need to help them. For those interested an in depth look at caring for chronically ill children, “Lives Less Ordinary,” by Jerome Groopman is in the January 20, 2014 edition of The New Yorker. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 29 Fall seven times, stand up eight.-Japanese Proverb Noninvasive Prenatal Genetic Screening By Pam Healey In a recent article published in Scientific American available online http:// www.scientificamerican.com/ article.cfm?id=what-fetal-genome, the revolutionary noninvasive prenatal screening that can provide comprehensive genetic data is discussed in terms of both benefit and ethical dilemma. What we can do technologically may be ahead of what we have thoughtfully considered, which could lead to concerns, problems, and controversy. There have been considerable advances in the time gestationally at which genetic data can be made available and in the scope of that data in providing parents with information about their unborn baby that can lead to decisions. This is not just the possibility of revealing chromosomal anomalies, but a look across the yet to be born child’s lifespan at genetic predisposition to both adult onset diseases and subtler conditions that may be challenging. It may also reveal the lack of preferred physical and behavioral traits. At this time such an extensive blueprint of an individual’s genome is possible, but cost and ethical concerns about how data will be used has curtailed practice. Currently, screening is available through a maternal blood screen, which, when concerns are raised for trisomy and a few other conditions, leads to amniocentesis or CVS, which carry some risk of miscarriage. Now, extensive screening from maternal blood and paternal saliva is quick and easy, but what it reveals may be more challenging than imagined. In a January 16, 2014 article in The New England Journal of Medicine, Prenatal Whole-Genome Sequencing — Is the Quest to Know a Fetus’s Future Ethical? I.R. Yurkiewicz, B.R. Korf, and L.S. Lehmann, Lehman, the director of the Center for Bioethics at Brigham and Women’s Hospital, presents with her colleagues arguments for parents to receive extensive genetic information about their unborn child. Additional information when presented through counseling allows parents to make informed decisions and allows them to prepare for what their child might need. This includes conditions their child might develop, a matter of prediction, not diagnosis. This raises the questions that must be addressed before parents begin receiving extensive genetic information. What diseases should be revealed? When should children be informed of adult onset disease revealed to be in their genome. The initial consent to the screen is by parents, not the unborn child, raising concerns of the rights of the child who when older would have not wanted to know the medical future. It is interesting that nothing is mentioned about the present use of the limited genetic information freely available. The termination of children with conditions physicians cannot Trisomy 18/13 Research Project Pam Healey, who conducted an experiences at diagnosis survey in 2001-2, is conducting a similar study to compare experiences. This is open to parents who received a diagnosis of trisomy 18 or 13 in the past five years. This includes a prenatal or postnatal diagnosis and is for parents of all children with a diagnosis of trisomy 18 or 13 (full, partial, mosaic), including stillborn, elected termination, and liveborn. It is important that as many people as possible participate. There were 117 responses to the first study, and many parents wrote that it was therapeutic for them to share their story and have their child be part of a study that will help other parents. All responses will be coded and kept confidential. If you are interested please email your interest and address to [email protected], call 781-862-8273 or write to Pam Healey 18 Richard Rd. Lexington, MA cure, conditions that are debilitating and without hope is not discussed. That seems to be a given, or a topic considered well discussed and managed at this time. The focus is on opening the Pandora’s box of mapping the entire genome of the unborn child, when prices drop, ramifications are considered, public policy established and public opinion is swayed. Many of us remember that babies just arrived, their gender and biological problems unknown until birth. Routine screening and ultrasounds changed that. Learning about the baby before birth has become commonplace. Now, the information available will expand, options will be considered, actions taken that will change who we are collectively. The on-line comments to the article are telling. One responder could not imagine anything negative resulting in something that would “make smarter, healthier children.” Another condemns parents who would willingly allow a child to be born with a disease and thus suffer. Others condemn “probing the womb” and termination, and one makes reference to Gattaca, a 1997 sci-fi movie that takes place in the “not so distant future” in which eugenics assures more perfect children and DNA determines class and destiny. Starting this month with a $6 million dollar grant from your tax dollars via the National Institutes of Health, Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Children’s Hospital will follow 480 newborns, half healthy, half sick, and their parents for five years through the BabySeq Project. Each child’s genome will be mapped. One goal is to integrate genomic information into the care a newborn receives. Those involved present what they are doing as what has been done “for quite some time” and as normal as cholesterol screening and determining BMI index to advise for life style changes. It would seem that in terms of using genome mapping to learn about the youngest among us, the future is now. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 30 There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream-Author Unknown Sometimes we just can’t wait for the next conference to get together with friends. The Barnes, Hayes and Thompson families met in Ardmore, Oklahoma for an enjoyable lunch on January 4, 1014. This was quite the feat since Thompson’s live in Texas and the Barnes’ s live in North Carolina-that leaves the Hayes family with the easy travel! As we prepared for a group photo, Ron hurried Megan to the car to escape the wind-Greta was not that lucky. Frank was busy holding all the goodie bags. That left Jim to escort the ladies to the bench for a windy photo op. February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 31 I thank God upon every remembrance of you.-Philippians 1:3 Remembering SOFT Angel Wings NAME Alexia Marie Cichon Alexia Patricia Bishop Andicia Miriam Arjmand Annie Dudeney Brady Logan Eshleman Carlie Elizabeth Cagle Conor Michael Healey Cristian Daniel Leal Dominic Allen D'Aprile Eliza Rose Elliott Elizabeth Ann Hilmes Emerald Ireland Donovan Erin Caleigh James Erin Laurissa Handel Garrett Stephen Twardowski Greyson Nelly Torres Haley Angel Ortega Isaac Quinn Miller Jessica Amber Brady Joan Elizabeth Taleshi Joanna Christine Hassan John Jacob Jordan Johnston Johnny Emmanuel Nichols Julia Lynn Taylor Karl Joseph Johnson Khloe Violet Schaeuble BORN 3/5/2013 9/24/2011 7/5/1981 2/3/1995 4/10/2002 3/16/2002 4/2/1986 1/27/2011 4/13/2006 12/14/2011 7/13/1987 4/11/2009 10/11/1995 2/22/1978 4/9/1992 7/23/2012 4/17/2003 2/19/2001 12/17/1996 2/9/1999 10/14/1974 2/6/2012 10/22/1994 12/3/1995 11/15/2002 10/1/2010 ANGEL WINGS 4/1/2013 2/17/2012 4/18/1986 3/10/2009 2/6/2007 3/17/2002 4/9/1986 2/25/2011 4/13/2006 4/24/2012 4/8/1999 4/11/2009 3/29/2013 3/22/2013 4/10/2001 4/11/2013 4/17/2003 3/2/2001 2/7/1997 2/16/1999 2/4/2013 2/7/2012 3/15/2009 2/3/1996 2/19/2003 2/28/2011 February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 32 His loved ones are very precious to Him and He does not lightly let them die-Psalm 116:15 Remembering SOFT Angel Wings NAME Lauren Beth Price Lauren Paige Gipe Logan John Watson Graham Marla Kay Parker Maureen Elizabeth Queener Michael Scholten Michelle Marie Richie Mitchell Taeke Hazewindus-Devries Nathaniel Troy Popielarz Nicholas Cupo Nicole Jennifer Waege Nina Carreiro Zambelli Olivia Marie Nelson Osborne Kayson Tyler Patrick David Showalter Rachel Emilia Nelson Rachelle Kay Kohl Roy James Bolan Ryan Lamar Gant Ryder Alled Brooks Samuel Mabeus Sarah Elizabeth Lindenbaum Sarah Louise Weston Shelby Rayne Ruggles Siomha Joelie Devereux Sophia Grace Rector Sydney Jean Wise Thomas James Skidmore Trinity Ann Smith Virginia Susanna Miller Zion Alexander Lint BORN 12/18/1987 1/12/1987 2/17/2011 3/7/1972 2/4/2002 4/25/2010 7/21/1992 3/12/2002 4/24/2012 1/22/1989 2/10/1986 2/27/2012 3/16/2011 2/13/2008 2/6/1987 2/22/2012 10/29/1996 1/31/2001 12/18/1991 3/8/2013 7/17/2006 6/8/1998 4/18/1993 4/9/2010 2/13/2013 2/19/2013 12/14/2011 8/2/1968 11/16/2012 3/3/1993 5/2/2001 ANGEL WINGS 4/8/1988 2/12/1989 2/17/2011 3/5/1985 4/8/2002 4/28/2010 3/12/2006 3/15/2002 4/24/2012 2/3/1989 2/12/2004 3/26/2012 3/16/2011 2/13/2008 4/18/1987 2/24/2012 2/25/1998 2/3/2001 2/22/1992 3/8/2013 2/29/2008 3/4/2001 4/18/1993 4/12/2010 2/13/2013 2/19/2013 2/25/2012 2/13/1990 2/23/2013 3/3/1993 2/16/2010 February/March/April 2014, The SOFT Times, Page 33 We’re linked to the internet at http://www.trisomy.org Deadline for the May/June/July 2014 Issue of The SOFT Times Is 15 April 2014 Join SOFT July 9-13, 2014