the half-million children in the foste

God’s people are
stepping up to help some
of our country’s most
vulnerable people — the
half-million children in
the foster care system.
J
By
Camerin
Courtney
Fostering
Hope
anuary is Sanctity of Life Month, a time to
celebrate the amazing gift of life from our
faithful and loving Creator. To commemorate, we’re sharing the inspiring stories of
everyday heroes who are caring for some
of the most vulnerable people in our society — the half-million children in the U.S.
foster care system.
The Family of Second Chances
Lisa and David Hickenbottom planned to adopt internationally. Lisa, 44, and David, 51, both have a heart for missions
and together supported an orphanage in Kenya. The couple
returned home from a trip there trip eager to see where
God would lead them. But their first Sunday back at church,
the pastor threw them a curveball when he spoke about
foster care.
22
HOMELIFE JANUARY 2012
their parental rights, making “the three Cs,” as Lisa and
David call them, available for adoption. In September 2011,
the Hickenbottoms became a family of five.
“Lisa and I wanted children, but it hadn’t happened for us,”
David shares. “We both had one previous marriage, and we
both changed a lot in our lives before we knew each other.
I’m an old guy! But we were going to try to have kids. We’re
amazed at God’s faithfulness. He gave us three kids when we
couldn’t have done that on our own [in that amount of time].”
“It would have been lovely to have biological kids. But
you know what? God had a different plan for us,” Lisa says.
“These are our kids. I love the beautiful way God brought us
all together. I wouldn’t change anything about the way this
all happened.”
Compelled by his revelation that within miles of their
church, some 500 kids needed foster care families, even in
their middle-class neighborhood, the Hickenbottoms knew
they had to at least look into fostering.
They attended a training session, “and we didn’t get scared
off,” David quips. So the couple filled out the application and
countless other forms to become certified as foster parents.
Weeks later, their home-study coordinator received a phone
call about a medically fragile 6-month-old girl who needed
foster parents. Because Lisa is a nurse and the couple were
eager and ready for a child, the Hickenbottoms seemed like a
perfect fit.
The next day, Lisa and David received Chloe into their
home and were soon taking her to doctors’ appointments
The Good and the Grief
© Ge t t y Im ages / David Ellis
three to four times a week. “Chloe was born at 25 weeks,
weighing only 1 pound 12 ounces,” Lisa explains. She and
David took Chloe to see specialists about her heart problems,
GI issues, and asthma.
“She’s a little miracle baby,” Lisa says. “I really believe God
has His hand on her because at 23 weeks gestation a baby is
not viable. Chloe just barely got over that hump. This little
girl is a fighter.”
Once they got Chloe stable medically, she began seeing her
birth mom every other week. A reliable relative of the birth
mom stepped forward to adopt Chloe, so Lisa and David
started the transitioning process, giving her to the relative
at regular intervals. “It was hard to think of giving her away,
but we prayed for God’s best for Chloe,” Lisa remembers.
But a week before the relative was supposed to take full
custody, Lisa and David experienced another curveball.
Chloe had been assigned a new state caseworker, who
discovered Chloe has twin siblings. The birth mom’s relative
realized she couldn’t care for all three children and stepped
out of the proceedings.
So the following week, instead of handing Chloe over to
another home, Lisa and David opened their home to twin
19-month-olds, Carmen and Camore. For several months
various family members of the birth mom said they wanted
custody, and the birth mom even talked about taking the
children back. But eventually she and the father relinquished
Bill and Angela Peterson, both 41, had room to spare — in
the home they shared with their three children and in their
hearts. In 2007, they started to adopt from China. But when
adoptions from China slowed considerably, the couple began
looking at other options.
When the Petersons learned their church was starting a
new foster care ministry in partnership with FaithBridge
Foster Care (see “Q&A” on p. 25) a couple of years ago, they
decided to pursue fostering. After getting certified, in January 2011, their first placement was a sibling pair: 10-year-old
Teriah and 13-month-old Jocilyn.
“Our hearts broke for both of these kids,” Bill says. Not only
did Teriah have a heart condition that had required openheart surgery, as well as anxiety issues and ADD, but he had
been in 15 homes in the previous three years. Jocilyn had a
bad sinus infection. “That’s the first time I had ever seen a
depressed baby,” Angela says. She remembers Jocilyn sitting
in the backseat of the car just staring at the seat in front of
her with a completely flat affect.
“The first thing we committed to was that after 15 homes,
this was enough,” Bill says. “Yes, Teriah has high anxiety. Yes,
he needs a lot of attention. But we were going to figure it out.”
He and Angela read books and talked with professionals to
get advice. “We just took it a day at a time. We had to learn
how to love these kids,” Bill says.
Eventually they all fell into a new routine. The Petersons’
biological kids quickly took to Teriah and Jocilyn, and every
few months the pair would visit their biological mom. “As
much as Teriah wanted to see her, when he came back from
visits, he was stressed,” Bill recalls.
JANUARY 2012 HOMELIFE
23
© Ge t t y Im ages / David Ellis
Early on, the couple
couple thinks it’s just about the best gift anyone has ever
learned that a previous
given them.
foster couple had wanted to
Amelia’s parents pastor a church, and in October 2009, a
adopt Teriah but there had
woman from their congregation approached them with a
been complications. During
problem. An acquaintance had left her with her infant son,
their first conversation,
Dominique, and then never came back for him. The woman
the husband told Bill, “My
had done her best to care for Dominique, but she realized she
wife loves that boy more
couldn’t care for him anymore.
than anything in the world.
The couple immediately thought of their daughter Amelia,
There’s a bond that you
31, and Stuart, 34, who had already been looking into foster
just can’t imagine.” Bill and
care. Stuart and Amelia agreed to care for Dominique until
Angela eventually began
the Department of Family and Child Services (DFACS) could
to transition the siblings
find a place for him.
to that family for adoption.
“Dominique took to us instantly,” Amelia recalls. “It was
Finally, in June 2011, after
like he knew us already. It was like God put him right into
six months as a family, the
our care.”
Petersons’ said goodbye to
“He needed a lot of love and attention,” Stuart says. “He was
Teriah and Jocilyn.
malnourished and he didn’t have a lot of possessions — just
“We consider it a success
the clothes on his back, a bottle, and a blanket.” In fact,
that they were able to stay
Dominique was so malnourished and small that the
here in a safe place and are
14-month-old was wearing size 3- to 6-month clothing.
now transitioning to what
A DFACS representative made arrangements to come pick
we pray will be a good final
up Dominique that day. “I was heartsick about the thought of
home,” Bill says. Though the giving him away so quickly, but I knew it was the right thing
Petersons were so happy for Teriah and Jocilyn, they admit
to do,” Amelia says.
it was hard to let them go. “We cried a lot,” Bill admits. “It’s a
“But after being [in our home] for about three hours, talkgrieving process.”
ing to us and observing our interaction with Dominique,
In the meantime, they’ve been offering respite care for
[the DFACS representative] felt like she couldn’t take him,”
other foster families — usually a long weekend of babyAmelia remembers. “We know that was God’s doing.” She
sitting the kids so the foster parents can
and Stuart agreed to go to court
get a break. “For these kids who have
the next day to start the process
lived in so many homes, it’s good to go
of becoming Dominique’s foster
“Children are totally
to somebody’s house that they know,”
parents.
dependent on their
Angela says. “We’re like going to an aunt
Over the coming weeks, Amelia
or grandma’s house for the weekend.”
and Stuart quickly completed their
parents, and if they
“We really see this as an important
certification to become foster parents
aren’t providing
ministry as well,” Bill says. “Consiswhile Dominique grew stronger with
what they need,
tency is a big deal, particularly with the
proper nutrition and medical care.
younger ones. We can offer that.” After
But
Dominique also started having
there have to be
months of offering respite care, the
intense crying spells. He would sudpeople who are
Petersons are eager to foster again soon.
denly throw himself on the ground
Throughout the process, Bill and
and kick and cry for about three
willing to open up
Angela say they’ve grown stronger as
hours. Amelia and Stuart even took
their hearts and their
a family and in their faith. “One of the
him to the emergency room once, but
homes to help.”
tough realities is that we don’t control
doctors couldn’t find anything causthe environment these kids go to next.
ing the fits. “Something had happened
— Stuart Green
We have to trust God that they came
to him to make him react that way,”
through our lives for a reason and that
Amelia says. “We don’t know what it is
whatever small role we played in keephe may have been through.”
ing them safe and loving on them while they were here will
Though the ultimate goal of foster care is reunification
bear some fruit down the road.”
with the biological parents, in this case the father had been
“That’s where prayer comes in,” Angela says, “and knowing
deported and the mother, who had abandoned Dominique
God is the One in control.”
twice before, had moved out of state. The DFACS agents tried
to reach both of the parents, and at various points over the
following months, it looked like different family members
Abandoned to God
might step up to care for the boy.
Some parents give their children a car, an heirloom, or
But when all of these possibilities eventually fell through,
an inheritance. Amelia Green’s parents gave her and her
Dominique went into adoptive status in September 2010. The
husband, Stuart, an abandoned 14-month-old baby. And the
24
HOMELIFE JANUARY 2012
Q&A
With
Bill Hancock,
founder &
president of
FaithBridge
Foster Care
After serving foster children and
families for 28 years, Bill Hancock
realized that the foster care system
in America is broken. So the pastor
and father of three biological
children started FaithBridge Foster
Care ( faithbridgefostercare.org), the
Christian agency that linked up
all the families featured in this
article. Here Bill offers insight into
the foster care system and why he
thinks the church is the solution to
its problems.
HomeLife: What are the challenges
with the current foster care system?
Bill Hancock: First, there’s the issue
of capacity. There have always been
more children in need of foster
families than qualified families to
serve them. Second, there’s a lack of
stability. Children in the foster care
system typically have three to seven
placements in a year; that means
they’re moving at least every four
months. Think of how disruptive
that is, [especially] for a child who’s
already come from an unstable
home. And the third big issue I’ve
seen is accountability. In Georgia,
where FaithBridge is headquartered,
the conservative number is that 70
percent of the inmates in the state
penal system came through the
state foster care system. The current
system isn’t solving the problem, it’s
perpetuating it.
HL: How do we begin to solve such a
huge problem?
BH: After talking with many people
in the field and doing a lot of research,
I came to the conclusion that the
church is the only solution to the
foster care problem in this country.
We have the numbers to meet the
capacity issue. We can create the
support systems to provide stability.
And we can work from a transparent,
accountable system.
What I also learned is that most
people in the church are ignorant
to the problem, to the fact that half
a million children are in the foster
care system in the U.S. on any
given day. I believe the church is
the solution because nobody does
family or community better than
the people of Christ.
HL: What do you believe the church
should be doing?
BH: Our vision at FaithBridge is
to mobilize, organize, equip, and
release the local church to be the
solution to the foster care issue in
their local community.
Greens showed up in court that following March, to officially
make Dominique their son.
Dominique is now 3, and Amelia calls him the highlight of
their day. “It’s been awesome being able to watch him grow
and getting to share our love with him. Health-wise, he’s
great now. He’s growing straight up; he’s going to be tall! He’s
very musically inclined. He loves the drums and he likes to
play on the organ after the service at church.”
HL: How do you do that?
BH: For example, in Georgia, we
have 7,000 kids in foster care.
FaithBridge’s strategy is to identify
those children by zip code, then
communicate to the churches in
those zip codes — not about the
half a million kids in the foster care
system, not about the 7,000 in our
state, not even about the 285 in their
county, but about the 11 kids in their
zip code. We ask them, “What can
you do with these 11 kids?” Then
we train and support the people
who step up to foster.
HL: Why do children usually wind
up in foster care in the first place?
BH: The majority of children are
there due to deprivation of some
sort. They don’t have adequate
supervision, housing, health care,
food. That’s the biggest reason. The
next biggest is abandonment, and
then abuse.
HL: What advice do you give to
people considering foster parenting?
BH: First of all, make sure you
are firmly rooted and established
in your relationship with Christ.
Make sure you realize foster care
is a ministry calling to the work
of family. And do not, under any
circumstance, do foster care alone.
Have a support system in place and
be willing to ask for help.
For more with Bill Hancock, visit
lifeway.com/homelifeonline.
“Children are totally dependent on their parents,” Stuart
says, “and if they aren’t providing what they need, there have
to be people who are willing to open up their hearts and their
homes to help.” •
Camerin Courtney, a freelance writer in the Chicago area,
loved working on this piece as her own niece and nephew were both
adopted. Learn more at camerincourtney.com.
JANUARY 2012 HOMELIFE
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