The Way Out

The Way Out! Steer Clear of the Recession and Drive Toward Success and Prosperity
Your GPS “Guided Path to Success” Written by: Bill Bartmann Boyd Matheson Brian Tracy Don Hutson Hyrum Smith Ivan Misner Jim Cathcart Marsha Petrie Sue Steve Siebold Tom Feltenstein Terry Murphy Tom Murphy 2 Table of Contents Foreword ................................................................................................................................................................................. 3 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class........................................................................................................................ 5 The Servant Leader ............................................................................................................................................................... 11 The Most Profitable Medium: Your Four Walls .................................................................................................................... 16 How to get RED HOT in a Cool Market .................................................................................................................................. 21 Comfort Versus Prosperity .................................................................................................................................................... 28 The Adventure ...................................................................................................................................................................... 33 Who is Glad to Know You? .................................................................................................................................................... 39 How to Sell in a Tough Economy! ......................................................................................................................................... 45 Networking Mixers: Break the Ice, Build Your Contacts, and Grow Your Business .............................................................. 49 Deciding to Decide: How to Thrive in Chaos ......................................................................................................................... 58 The Power of the Human Spirit ............................................................................................................................................. 63 Freeway of Life ...................................................................................................................................................................... 70 3 Foreword With a turbulent economy, challenging business climate and countless pundits and politicians projecting a
dismal, uncertain future – it is easy to feel a bit storm-tossed, wind-whipped and lost. Some people feel like
they have been dropped in the middle of a violent and volatile financial jungle with threatening predators, thick
underbrush and no clear path out. Others feel lost in an isolated desert of despair and personal frustration with
lost hope, broken promises, and dashed dreams – they wander about seeing a mirage of success and personal
satisfaction in the distance but never arriving at the destination.
With so many feeling so lost, countless individuals are floundering and flailing about, trying to make up for
their lack of a clear direction by running faster and chasing harder. Unfortunately this simply gets them twice
as lost, twice as fast. Others are just hunkering down, doing nothing, just hoping a path with appear.
Are you feeling a little lost? Have you lost your bearings leading toward the life you desire? Do you know
where you are headed personally, professionally and financially? If you aren’t sure where you are or where you
are going – you are not alone!
Of all the amazing inventions of the digital age, by far one of the most inspired and impressive devices is the
GPS (global positioning system). With a small GPS gadget you can navigate your way out of any urban jungle
or off an isolated country road. A GPS can take you from wherever you are to wherever you want to go – mile
by mile, street by street, turn by turn. There is no longer a reason to waste time being lost and, for most men,
there is also the benefit of never having to ask for directions.
What if you had access to a personal GPS – Your very own GPS to guide your direction in your personal,
professional and financial life? Wouldn’t that give you a great deal of confidence to have a turn-by-turn
direction system to help you navigate away from the challenges and toward the destination of your goals and
dreams?
Today you can! This revolutionary ebook is your GPS – Your Guided Path to Success! You are about to
embark on the journey of a life-time. A journey which will take you to the peaks and mountaintops of success
and achievement.
This ebook brings to you the ultimate GPS, built by some of the most brilliant minds in personal and
professional development. This GPS will lead you out of the financial jungle of today’s brutal economy, off of
the side streets of uncertainty or away from the desert mirages of superficial success.
Navigating your way out of today’s financial climate is a form of economic truth serum. It will separate the
entrepreneurial pretenders from the real contenders. Let’s be honest – almost anyone can succeed in a good
economy, but it takes real skill and talent to succeed in a bad economy. So are you a contender or just a
pretender? And, how do you plan to pilot your way out of the mess we find ourselves in?
4 A GPS works because of the massive database of knowledge and maps it draws from. Successful people and
businesses don’t happen by accident – they too access the knowledge and maps of experts. Albert Einstein
once said “a problem cannot be solved at the level of consciousness in which it occurs.” We have all been
teaching businesses and individuals the principles of success that we have studied throughout our lifetime.
Corporations often invest big dollars in our services because it can make a huge difference in their profitability.
From the Authors: We hope that with this book we will inspire, instruct, and guide you to more hope and
more prosperity. This work is our sincere effort to offer the world a real “bail-out” and “stimulus” package
which will help individuals and organizations survive and ultimately succeed in our challenging world. We are
calling on all people to create the future they desire—we know with guidance, knowledge and training, people
can rise up, get out of debt, create security, accomplish great things, change relationships, prosper, build
communities, and leave the world a better place. We now invite you to join us on the ultimate Guided Path to
Success.
5 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class The Thought Processes, Habits and Philosophies of the Great Ones By Steve Siebold iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
World’s #1 Mental Toughness Coach
Featured in “Beyond the Secret” Movie
Fortune 500 Mental Toughness Trainer
National Speakers Association award in 2005
World-Class Wealth Begins With World-Class Thinking
If you got out of bed this morning and went to work because you wanted to, you are in control of
money. If you got out of bed this morning because you had to, money is in control of you. Even in the
wealthiest nation in the world, 99% of the population is being controlled by money. The effect is lack
of money. The cause is thinking. Albert Einstein once said “a problem cannot be solved at the level of
consciousness in which it occurs.” Knowing this, champions raise their level of consciousness by
studying how the world class creates wealth.
The middle class believes formal education is the answer to acquiring wealth, yet very few academics
are wealthy. They seek advanced degrees and certifications and are confounded when these things
don’t bring them riches. While the great ones are strong advocates of higher education, they don’t
believe it has much to do with acquiring money. The middle class trades time for money. The world
class trades ideas that solve problems for money. Money flows like water from ideas. The middle
class often scorns the world class out of frustration over a lack of money, yet the answer to earning
more than they can spend has been in their lap their whole lives. Ideas – it’s such a simple concept
that the majority misses it.
The poverty class talks about and regurgitates the past; the middle class talks about other people;
and the world class talks about ideas. Professional performers know money doesn’t care which
direction it flows. They know the world will bend over backward to make them rich if it will help them
solve their problems. About 150 years ago, Karl Marx was sure the working class, as a whole, would
rise up and overcome oppression if they had a chance. What Marx didn’t figure into the equation was
the poverty-driven thought process of the people. Give people operating at middle-class
6 consciousness a million-dollar opportunity, and they will find a way to make it back to middle class. It
is where their limited self-image tells them they belong. The difference has nothing to do with reality.
It’s all perception in the mind of the performer.
“Wealth is the product of a man’s capacity to think.”
–Ayn Rand
1905-1982
Author, Philosopher
Action step for today: Ask this critical thinking question: “At what level of monetary success do I feel
most comfortable? a) poverty class b) middle class c) world class.” Where you feel most comfortable
reflects your self-image, and most likely, your current status. If you want to become wealthier, begin
by raising your self-image by upgrading the self-talk you use regarding money and finances. If all you
do is chase more money, you are simply attacking the effect. The cause is how you think, and if you
improve the cause, the effect will take care of itself.
Champions Understand the Limits of Money
In pursuit of happiness, amateurs tend to seek riches, while pros seek fulfillment. The irony is that
champions create so much value in their quest for fulfillment that they often develop substantial
riches. Amateurs are usually looking for the quick buck. They believe being rich will fill the hole they
feel inside, although a few of them can say how much money that would require. In truth, no amount
is sufficient, because the hole can only be filled by feelings of fulfillment. The great ones find
fulfillment in their everyday work and activities. They never really chase fulfillment, yet they
experience it simply by doing their work.
Amateurs believe money and the things money will buy are the keys to peace and fulfillment.
Professional performers gravitate toward things that create a sense of satisfaction in and of
themselves. Fulfillment is a mental state champions experience as a result of their elevated
awareness. In essence, champions invest the necessary time and resources to discover what they
love to do and then focus on doing it to the best of their ability. Their fulfillment doesn’t come from the
results of their actions, but from the actions themselves. The great ones are focused on the cause,
rather than the effect. As a result, the effects (or results) take care of themselves.
On the other end of the spectrum, the masses are focused on the effects, and often ignore the
causes. Even if they succeed in acquiring money and possessions, fulfillment continues to elude
them, until they finally throw up their arms and say “Is this all there is?” The answer is yes, because
money and material possessions are effects, and effects don’t create causes. Causes create effects.
This is why the pros seek fulfillment first through loving what they do for a living. This is a can’t-miss
strategy. Their work creates a tremendous amount of fulfillment – even if the effects aren’t reached.
Champions don’t play for the money; they play because they love the game itself. The money – the
effect – is just icing on the cake.
“When you’re doing something you love to do, the only reward you need is the experience of
doing it.”
- Bill Gove
1912-2001
The father of professional speaking
7 Action Step for Today: Do a cause-and-effect analysis. Ask this critical thinking question: “Am I
focused on the cause of my fulfillment, or the effect of my fulfillment?” For example, do you exercise
for health benefits you gain, or because you love the sport or exercise activity?
The Great Ones Have a Sense of Urgency
Middle-class performers operate like there is an endless amount of time in a day, week, month, year
and life. The world class is extremely sensitive to time. The great ones have a sense of urgency
because they are operating at a level of awareness that constantly reminds them the present moment
is all any of us really have. The world class is on a mission to fulfill a dream, and they know the clock
is ticking. The only time amateur performers develop a sense of urgency is toward the end of the day,
week, or before they go on vacation. Imagine if they channeled that same energy, enthusiasm and
focus into their everyday performance. Worldwide activity would probably triple in one day.
Professional performers constantly remind themselves that life is short and if they are going to make
something happen, now is the time. This thought process makes the middle class uncomfortable.
Remember, they prefer to operate in a state of mild delusion. Knowing the clock is ticking and none
of us know how much time we have left is too uncomfortable for emotional amateurs. For pros, who
operate from objective reality, it’s a primary motivating force. It’s one of the reasons pros tend to
pursue large, magnificent visions. They know their time on this earth is limited and they want to leave
a legacy. Their sense of urgency goes back to the beginning of the mental toughness process –
clearly defining what you want.
What do you have a sense of urgency to do? If you know the answer, you can implement this world
class philosophy immediately. If not, make it your mission to discover the embers that burn within
your soul and focus that passion on what you really want. Don’t stop until you find it. When you do,
create a sense of urgency to act on it now. Don’t hesitate. Pursue your dream boldly and fearlessly. It
may be closer than you think.
“One realizes the full importance of time only when there is little of it left. Every man’s
greatest capitol asset is his unexpired years of productive life.”
-P.W. Litchfield
Action Step for Today: To heighten your sense of urgency, do a little mathematical calculation.
Based on statistics, the average man living in 21st century America will live seventy-three years. The
average women will live seventy-nine years. Based on your current age and these statistics, how
many days do you have left to live? Keep this number in front of you as a reminder the clock is ticking
and there is no time to lose.
The World Class Focuses on ‘The Why’
World-class thinkers know that when it comes to manifesting their ultimate visions, the real question
that must be answered is not the how-to, but the why. In other words, odds are that someone,
somewhere, already knows how to do what the champion wants to do, and can most likely be tapped
as a mentor for assistance. The critical thinking question is “Why do I want this vision to become
reality?” The intensity of emotion with which this question is answered will determine whether the
dream comes alive or dies.
8 If your house was burning down, would you risk your life to save the furniture? Probably not, but if
your kids were trapped inside the house, would you risk your life trying to save them? Of course. The
point is we will do anything if the stakes are high enough, if we have a big enough reason why. Worldclass thinkers know this and capitalize on it. While middle-class thinkers are scaling back their goals
and dreams because they don’t know how to accomplish them, world-class thinkers are soul
searching for their emotional motivators. The salesperson who dreams of winning the company trip to
Maui and being recognized on stage in front of his family and peers. The manager who envisions
leading her team to record-breaking sales in order to prove to herself that she is as good as she knew
she was, even though her stepfather told her she would never amount to anything.
Champions know the secret to world-class motivation lies in emotion. The great ones decide what
they want, and more importantly, why they want it. They know all benefits come down to an emotion
that we are trying to create through our goals and dreams, so they invest a lot of mental energy
attempting to identify what emotion they are really after. Once they discover it, the fight to make their
vision a reality is over before it begins.
Obstacles and setbacks are no match for a visionary driven by raw emotion. Ordinary people are
transformed into extraordinary performers who no longer recognize failure as an option. The power of
emotional motivation is unmistakable, yet only the champions invest the time to tap into it.
“Send the harmony of a great desire vibrating through every fiber of your being. Find a task
that will call forth your faith, your courage, your perseverance, and your spirit of sacrifice.
Keep your hands and your soul clean, and your conquering current will flow freely.”
-Thomas Dreier
American Author
Action Step for Today: Make a commitment to clearly identify what is driving you to achieve your
life’s vision. The five most popular emotional motivators in our mental toughness university program
are: 1) Religious/ Spiritual beliefs. 2) Children/ Family. 3) Desire to prove oneself to oneself. 4) Desire
to prove oneself to others. 5) General recognition/ Validation.
The Great Ones Use Mentors
The masses are content to acquire knowledge, information and wisdom the old-fashioned way – from
experience. Champions are different. They believe in working smarter, not harder. This means
learning from mentors and coaches, who have the ability to accelerate the process exponentially. My
late friend and client, Walter Hailey, the famous entrepreneur from Texas, used to say the secret to
his success was his ability to “copy genius.”
Instead of investing years in the school of hard knocks, the world class often reaches their heights by
standing on the shoulders of giants. Champions are famous for building mentor teams who are
already where they want to be. Corporations call this group a board of directors. Individuals call it a
mentor team. Mentor teams guide, teach, advise and encourage performers to think bigger and reach
higher than ever before. They often provide specialized knowledge and contacts linked to the area of
life in which the performer needs assistance. The overall task of mentors is to help performers raise
their level of awareness and expectation.
Mentors are continually prodding and pushing champions beyond their comfort zone. The major
advantage of the mentor team is the speed with which it accelerates the performer’s growth. While
9 average people expand their consciousness at a steady rate, the mentor team demands rocket-like
acceleration from their charges. The mentor team is an ace in the hole for champions.
“The ultimate source of information, and the whole world’s living wisdom, lies in the minds of
others… all you have to do is ask.”
-Walter Hailey
1928-2003
Entrepreneur, speaker
Action Step for Today: Make a list of the five most successful people you know and make a
commitment to use the ‘copy genius’ philosophy with them.
School is Never Out for the Great Ones
Twenty years ago, why some people were so much more successful and fulfilled than others was a
mystery to me. Were they smarter? More educated? More talented? The answer is no. Oh, I’ve come
across a genius or two over the years, but 99% of the time, the answer is much simpler. The great
ones became great because they are more mentally tough. Through time and effort, they have
learned to take control of their thoughts, feelings and attitudes in the game of life and in turn, life has
rewarded them handsomely.
You can do the same thing if you’ll commit yourself to never ending personal growth and
development. I’ve said this many times throughout this book, but it’s worthy of repeating: champions
invest time in getting better. School is never out for the great ones. Have you ever been to the
bookstore and wondered who reads all those business and self-improvement books? It’s not the
poverty class, or the working class, or the middle class. It’s the world class. The people who need it
most wouldn’t even consider it, and the people who need it least wouldn’t consider missing it.
A never-ending cycle of self-education is the centerpiece of world-class consciousness. All it takes to
get started is a decision to do it. Throughout this book, I’ve referenced this old cliché, “The rich get
richer and the poor get poorer.” When I first began studying mental toughness, I didn’t understand
why. I do now. After reading this book, I hope you do, too.
“The A students work for the B students, the B students work for the C students, and the D
students dedicate the buildings. The most successful among us are not always the class
valedictorians, but they are the best self-educated people on the planet.”
-Unknown
Action Step for Today: Ask yourself these critical thinking questions:
1) Am I really committed to going pro?
2) Am I willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill my vision?
3) Am I willing to put a plan together to implement the suggestions in this book?
About Steve Siebold: Steve Siebold is a former professional athlete and national coach. He’s spent the past 24 years
studying the thought processes, habits and philosophies of world-class performers. Today he helps Fortune 500 sales and
management teams increase sales through mental toughness training. His book, 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the
10 World Class has sold over 100,000 copies. Steve’s national television show, Mental Toughness with Steve Siebold, won
the 2007 Telly award for most outstanding motivational talk show. In 1996 Steve attended the world-famous Bill Gove
Speech Workshop, and later partnered with Bill Gove, the father of professional speaking, to form the Gove-Siebold
Group. For the next 5 years the partners spoke all over the world until Mr. Gove passed away on December 9, 2001. In
2005, the National Speakers Association awarded Steve the Certified Speaking Professional designation for platform
excellence and business success. Steve is in the top 1% of income earners worldwide among professional speakers. For
more information visit www.MentalToughnessSecrets.com.
11 The Servant Leader By Hyrum W. Smith iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
Formed Franklin Covey Co./Vice Pres of the Board
Founder and Chairman of the Board of The Galileo Initiative
SRI Gallup Hall of Fame and Man of the Year Award
International Entrepreneur of the Year Award by BYU Marriott School of Management
There is a great deal of overlap between the role of teacher and the role of leader. In fact, some have
said that all great leaders are teachers. Why? Because great leaders motivate people to change, to
perform at higher levels. That’s what both teaching and leadership are all about. How a true leader
accomplishes this, however, ties in directly to the abundance mentality.
If we push the concepts in this chapter to their logical conclusion, we must ask ourselves what it is
that a true leader has an abundance of. A leader may have superior knowledge or an abundance of
energy, but I argue that the one asset that sets a genuine leader apart from a cheap imitation is
power. True leaders have power. This is not the power of position or wealth or title. It is more the
power of influence, which can only be granted by those who choose to be followers. And because a
true leader has this power, it is his or her responsibility to share it, in other words, to empower the
followers. And, ironically, you cannot empower people unless they have granted you the power to do
so. Then wonderful things happen. This, by the way, is the secret to motivating people. You give
them back what they have given you, and the result is synergistic. This is what I call servant
leadership. It is simply sharing the abundance of power that you have earned by being their servant
rather than their master.
I first discovered this principle when I was in the military. You might think this is a strange place to
learn about servant leadership, but that’s where I learned it. I soon found that I could not motivate
people to do anything unless I was in their physical presence. When I was there, they would do what
I wanted them to do (because of my position at first, not because I was a true leader), but when I was
not present, they would do what they wanted to do. This raised a question in my mind. “What is my
role as a leader?” I asked myself. And a little light came on in my mind. The answer was simple: My
role as a leader was to create an atmosphere in which my people would do what I wanted them to doeven when I wasn’t there-because they wanted to do it. I had to get them to want what I wanted.
When I got into the army, I opted to go to OCS and receive a commission as an officer. The reason I
did that was that I wanted to get married, and my wife’s father was not excited about his daughter
marrying a private in the army. I managed to graduate with honors, so I had my choice of where I
wanted to serve in the military. I selected Pershing missiles and was sent to Germany as a Pershing
12 missile commander. I took over a firing battery, with four nuclear warheads, each one thirty-two times
bigger than the Hiroshima bomb. We spent thirty days out of every sixty in the fields of Germany with
our missiles pointed in the air, aimed at the Eastern Bloc. We had to have the ability to fire those
missiles within twelve minutes of being notified that war had broken out.
When I took over this particular unit, the morale was terrible. The commander I replaced had been a
West Pointer, he was in it for life, and he expected everyone to do what he said, no questions, just do
it. One problem with his approach to leadership was that the Pershing missile was a very
sophisticated weapon, and many of the people who were brought into the Pershing system were
college students. We had a pretty bright group and, quite frankly, they liked to question things. They
wanted to know why. At any rate, morale was quite low when I arrived, and on one occasion we were
out in the field with our missiles, right out in the open where the Russians would drive by in their cars
and take pictures of us. Of course we had our guards out at their posts, but they had to stand there in
temperatures that would dip well below zero.
I was platoon commander. I had three officers who reported to me, then we had a cluster of
noncommissioned officers (sergeants), and finally there were the enlisted men-a typical military
hierarchy. And in this structure officers are not supposed to fraternize with the enlisted people. You
just don’t do that in the military. But I didn’t buy into that. While I was out in the field freezing my
fanny off, I said, “You know, we ought to build some guard shacks for these guys.” And because we
had so much to do, there weren’t any enlisted people available to build these guard shacks. We had
telephone poles lying in this area, and we had a whole bunch of plywood and two-by-fours. But when
I suggested that we build these guys some guard shacks, one of the sergeants looked at me and
said, “What do you mean, ‘we’?”
I said, “Yeah, let’s go build them.”
“It’s ten below zero out there.”
“I don’t care how cold it is. Let’s go build them.”
So I dragged these officers and noncoms out, and we got the telephone poles, cut them off, put them
in the ground, and built the first shack. About two in the morning we put the first guard in the shack,
and the guards were absolutely dumbfounded at these officers trying to build shacks for them. We
put a little heater in the shack and put up some insulation to keep the cold out. The first one was
really bad, but the guards thought it was the Taj Mahal. We improved with experience, though, and
by six o’clock the next night we had four or five finished and all the guards were standing in guard
shacks, off the ground, dry and warm.
Well, word passed through the unit quickly, and the morale started to turn around immediately. Then
an interesting thing began to happen. These guards started looking for things to do, and we got our
firing time down to six and a half minutes. About three days later we needed to build a latrine. So in
typical military fashion a sergeant “volunteered” a private form New York City to dig this latrine. This
kid had never had a pick in his hand, but he started whacking the ground with it anyway, and it soon
became obvious that is was going to take him approximately forever.
I said to him, “Have you ever had a pick in your hand before?”
He said, “Oh, sure, I’ve had a pick in my hand.”
“Well,” I said, “let me show you how to use it.”
13 So I took the pick from him and dug about half the latrine. About ten minutes into this we had fifteen
guys standing around the edge of this hole watching us. They were absolutely blown away. I had
taken my shirt off, so I was just in my T-shirt, and I was having a great time showing this kid how to
use a pick. By the time we finished this little lesson, he really did know how to use a pick.
On that particular day some officers from another unit were there, and one of them was a captain.
“You took your shirt off,” he said. “Why did you do that?”
“Why did I take my shirt off? You can’t dig a trench with a shirt on,” I said.
“How’s anybody going to know that you’re an officer without your shirt on?”
I looked at him and said, “You know, if I have to wear that crummy bar on my lapel so that people will
know I’m and officer, then I’ve got a real problem.”
This guy missed the whole point. In his mind, the only way he was able to show his authority was by
a small insignia. And in my opinion, if that’s the only way you can let your people know you’ve got
authority, you’ve lost. They’re not going to follow you anywhere. What a leader does is get people to
do things because they want to, not because they have to. Digging that latrine trench and building
those guard shacks made a difference and the morale turned around, because of the message sent
by the actions. They got the message loud and clear that the people at the top cared about the
people at the bottom of the traditional military hierarchy. We were willing to get physically involved in
doing something for them, and they then decided to return the favor. The real lesson I learned from
this experience is that if you take care of the people below you, they’ll take care of you. And that’s
important, because your success is dependent on the success of the people under you.
In the 56th Artillery Group in Germany, which had all the Pershing missiles, there were four battalions.
The group had a need for a headquarters battery commander. Supposedly, you had to be a major to
fill this slot. But the group commander, as a result of what we had done in inspiring the men out in
the field, promoted me to headquarters battery commander. There I was, a first lieutenant in a
major’s slot. I was excited. But the group’s morale was terrible. Part of the problem was the living
conditions for the rank and file soldiers. They lived in a building that has been the headquarters for
Field Marshal Rommel during World War II. It was a six-story building, and apparently nothing in it
had been renovated since Rommel died in 1944. The walls were falling in and it was an ugly place.
When I first took over, I said, “This is in terrible shape. We’ve got to fix it up.” I asked one of my men
what we could do about it. He said, “Well, we can put in a requisition to the Corps of Engineers, and
they will do anything we want them to do, but it will take at least four years to make it happen.” I
asked him if there were any other alternatives. “Maybe we can get the German nationals to come in
and do it, but we’d have to pay them, and we don’t have any money.”
“Will they take anything else?”
“Well,” he said, “they’ll take stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“They’ll take plywood, and they’ll take coffee.”
I said, “Well, let’s get the stuff.”
14 “No,” he answered, “none of that stuff is available. You can’t get it.” And he had all these reasons
why we couldn’t do this thing.
This happened about the time the French refused to let the Americans operate from bases in France.
They gave the military three weeks to dismantle all their equipment and get it out of France. Because
they had to move so fast, a lot of stuff was being thrown away. I heard about this from one of my
warrant officers, a guy named Chief Hewlett. “You know,” he said, “I know what we need to get this
place fixed up. But we’ve got to go to France to do it.”
“Do you know where it is?” I said.
“I need five five-ton trucks.”
We had these big extra-long, five-ton trucks that had equipment on them. So we took the equipment
off these trucks, which means that if we had been caught, we would have been in deep yogurt. I
selected ten men, two for each truck, and I said, “You guys be back in three days. I can cover for you
for three days.” So they took off for France, they went to all these bases, and three days later at 2
A.M five 5-ton tucks rolled in, loaded to the gills. You wouldn’t believe the stuff. There were two
trucks full of three-quarter-inch plywood, cans of coffee, and all kinds of typewriters. And on one
truck they had twelve big, gorgeous, leather-stuffed general officer chairs. I didn’t dare ask where
they found them. And we stored all this stuff in the basement.
Then we went to the German nationals and showed them what we wanted done to the building. And
the Germans said, “Yeah, we can do this. What will you give us?” And we showed them the
plywood. They came in and started in the basement, completely sandblasted the walls, re-stuccoed
the walls, put in fluorescent lights, painted the floor, and it looked like a mansion when they finished.
When the guys in this unit started seeing all the changes, the morale shot up immediately. Then we
went to where these guys lived and turned the Germans loose. They sanded the oak floors, restuccoed the walls, bordered the walls with stained plywood, and these guys thought they were living
in a palace. We got new beds for them, new everything. It got to the point where these guys wouldn’t
even walk on their floors with their shoes. They’d walk through the door and take their boots off,
because they didn’t want to hurt their room.
And you should have seen my office. Have you ever heard of a first lieutenant with a general officer
chair? It was incredible. But the last thing we did was the mess hall. I said, “I want this to look like a
restaurant.” So we completely re-did the floor, re-stuccoed all the walls, got a picture of the Tetons
that was thirteen feet long and eight feet high, and hung it. We got new tables, new chairs, put
tablecloths and candles on the tables. It took about a week to do this. And word got out all over
Europe. We had general officers flying in helicopters to eat at our restaurant. We kept this a big
secret from the men while the remodeling was going on, and the first time they saw it, they were
absolutely amazed.
And do you know what resulted from all this? I had steak every single night when I was in the field. I
don’t know where they got the steak, but the mess sergeant said to me, “Hey you’ve taken care of
me, I’m going to take care of you.” But more important was how this unit performed. We were
supposed to be able to mobilize in two hours in case of war. When I got there, they could have done
it in maybe three days. But after the remodeling, the men took such pride in themselves and their unit
that we could be in the field forty-five minutes after getting orders and move. And it was incredible
15 how fast the whole situation turned around. This, because we decided that we as officers needed to
be servants of our people.
Our group commander, Colonel Powers, had been requisitioning a fancy metal command post for two
years and couldn’t get one. Well, we found two of these things in France, and we hooked both
together so that they made a fairly good sized room. Then we set it up out on the parade field, and
when Col. Powers saw his new command post, he walked over to it and wept. “Where did you get
this?” he said.
“I don’t know,” I answered. And from that moment on, I could do no wrong with my commanding
officer. He came into my office and saw the general officer’s chair and said, “Hey, where did you get
that chair?”
“Just don’t ask. You want one?”
He said, “I’d kill for a chair like that.”
We had it in his office in twenty minutes. He was just blown away. The main point is this: When I’m
given a little authority, yes, I can exercise dominion over you if I want to, but that just doesn’t work.
You don’t get results by lording it over people. The magic about the servant-leader idea is that we
could give people orders and they would feel like they had been asked.
Colonel Powers caught onto this idea. One day several general officers came to visit, and one of
them ended up in the office of Sgt. Major “Rip” Van Winkle. Sgt. Major Van Winkle had been in the
army forever-I think he must have been at Valley Forge- and he understood what the colonel and I
understood about leadership. Well, one of these generals came in and sat on Van Winkle’s desk,
and the Sgt. Major said, “Sir, get your ass off my desk.”
The general looked at him and said, “Are you sure?”
And Van Winkle said, “Sir, I want you to get your ass off my desk.”
The general walked into Colonel Power’s office and said; “Colonel, your Sergeant Major just told me
to get my ass off his desk. What are you going to do about that?”
Col. Powers looked at Sgt. Major Van Winkle and said, “Did you tell the general to get his ass off
your desk?”
“Yes sir, I did.”
Well, Col. Powers turned to the general and said, “Get your ass off his desk.”
You can imagine how Van Winkle felt about Col. Powers. And more important, you can imagine how
he felt about himself. There is a causal relationship between self-worth and productivity and there is
nothing that makes people feel greater self-worth than having leaders who go out of their way to
serve them. In short, if you want to get greater productivity out of people, serve them, don’t exercise
dominion over them.
All managers have one type of authority through their positions. But that authority is largely
ineffective if it is used to manipulate and push people. No one who uses authority in this manner has
an abundance of power. Servant leaders, on the other hand, may not even have the authority of
16 position, but they will have an abundance of real power, you have an obligation to share it, empower
others.
One thing we need to remember as we consider the issue of power is that when people grant us
power and we have developed the ability to lead, leadership becomes a two–edged sword. A
statement I heard a long time ago - I’m not sure where – which has had a great impact on me is as
follows: The power to lead is the power to mislead. The power to mislead is the power to destroy.
As leadership skills are developed and strengthened, we must remember that leadership can also be
used for evil. Hitler was probably one of the greatest leaders the world has ever seen, but he used
that leadership ability to destroy. George Washington was also a magnificent leader. He used his
leadership ability to build, lift, and create. Leadership carries with it a great responsibility - the
responsibility to lift others, to empower them to do more with their lives than they otherwise would be
able to. That is the mark of a true leader, one who understands the abundance mentality.
About Hyrum Smith: Founder and Chairman of the Board of The Galileo Initiative, Hyrum W. Smith is a highly sought
after keynote speaker and author. For nearly two decades he has been motivating people to see reality more clearly and
to gain better control of their personal and professional lives. Hyrum’s speeches and presentations have been acclaimed
by American and international audiences. After serving in the United States Army as the field commander of a Pershing
missile battery in Germany, Hyrum graduated from Brigham Young University in 1971. He went to work with ADP, a
pioneering data processing firm, where he rose to become senior vice president for sales. In 1981, he formed his own
training company, Golden Eagle Motivation, focusing on sales management. Later Hyrum worked as a consultant for a
time management training company. In 1984, he helped create the widely used Franklin Day Planner, and formed
Franklin Quest Co. to produce the Planner and train individuals and organizations in the time management principles on
which the Planner was based. Hyrum continued to serve as vice-chairman of the board of Franklin Covey Co., successor
company to Franklin Quest. He helped found The Galileo Initiative in 2001 to focus on teaching and training some of the
core concepts he has come to feel the most deeply about in his years of training and motivating people. Over the years,
Hyrum has received numerous honors and community service awards, including the Silver Beaver Award from the Boy
Scouts of America and the 1992 SRI Gallup Hall of Fame and Man of the Year Award. Hyrum was honored as the
International Entrepreneur of the Year by Brigham Young University’s Marriott School of Management in 1993. He serves
on several boards of directors and national advisory councils, and has been the recipient of three honorary doctorate
degrees. Hyrum is the author of several nationally published and acclaimed books, including The 10 Natural Laws of
Successful Time and Life Management, What Matters Most, The Advanced Day Planner User’s Guide, The Modern
Gladiator, and is co-author of Excellence Through Time Management. He and his wife, Gail, enjoy life at their ranch in
Gunlock, Utah, close to their children and grandchildren. For More on Hyrum visit www.HyrumWSmith.com.
The Most Profitable Medium: Your Four Walls By Tom Feltenstein 17 iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
Founder and CEO of Power Marketing Academy
Former Senior-Level Marketing Executive at McDonalds
Fortune 500 Consultant
Bestselling Author
Sandra picked up her brand-new car on a perfect summer day, under a clear blue sky with a cool
breeze wafting off the ocean. Ron, the salesman who had arranged her purchase two days earlier,
greeted her at the showroom door with a broad, warm smile and a firm handshake. A waiting
assistant promptly took the keys to her dusty, mile-weary trade-in and drove it around the corner, out
of sight.
Ron had all the documents ready and laid out in the exact order Sandra needed to sign them. As she
executed the title, financing, and other paperwork, Sandra enjoyed a freshly brewed cup of coffee and
some friendly banter with Ron. In no time at all, her sparkling new silver Lexus was purring at the
showroom curb, her new partner in a journey that would take them many thousands of miles.
Sandra settled into the driver’s seat, breathed in the earthly scent of the new leather, and eased her
new chariot out of the parking lot into the afternoon traffic. She turned on the radio and pushed the
first auto-select button to begin programming her preferred radio stations, the first act of air with a
tune she was especially fond of. She warbled along as she weaved her way through traffic toward
home. A swelling of violins flowed from the speakers. This was her favorite classical station!
Amazing, she thought. She tried the next button and on came her favorite all-new station. The fourth
button summoned her husband’s favorite sports channel. This was getting spooky. Had technology
reached a stage of development that made it possible for a car to read her mind?
She reached home, pulled into her driveway, and immediately telephoned Ron to tell him about this
amazing coincidence.
“You wouldn’t believe it,” she gushed. “I just had to call and tell you. I must be doing something
right.” Every one of my favorite radio stations was already preselected. What amazing coincidence!”
Ron chuckled. “That was no coincidence. When a customer buys a new car and we take a trade-in,
we check the old radio, write down the stations on the set, and then program the new ones to match.”
In that moment, Sandra became a devoted, loyal customer of the dealer and of Ron. And then, for
the next two weeks, reveling in the honeymoon with her new chariot, she told everyone she knew
about the dealer and what incredible service she’d received with her new car.
18 That’s Four Walls Marketing! No expensive newspaper ads, no annoying radio commercials, no slick
TV ads. Just the cost of 15 minutes of labor by a mechanic. How many cars did Sandra sell for the
dealer?
Do Something Remarkable
My dentist, Dr. Mitchell Josephs, of Palm Beach, Florida, asked me one day if I could brainstorm with
him some ideas to grow his practice. Everyone’s business is hurting these days, and dentists in
particular have been hurt by advances in technology that make tooth decay and gum disease almost
extinct. Cosmetic dentistry, with the highest profit margin, is discretionary and not covered by
insurance plans. In a bad economy, people don’t have teeth whitened, capped, and straightened.
“You’ve got to do something remarkable,” I said. “Now, your hours are Monday through Thursday,
nine to five. I want you to be available nine to six, seven days a week. I want you to be available
when your competition is closed and whenever your patients want you. I don’t want them ever to call
and get an answering service or machine. I want you to give them your cell phone number, and I
want you to answer it 24 hours a day.”
You might have expected him to start whining about being bothered at home, or when he’s out to
dinner. After all, dentists and doctors are practically gods. But instead he looked at me with a broad
smile on his face.
“You know what I do on the weekend? I sit around on my butt and read the paper and watch too
much television. I love my work, and I’d rather be doing it growing my business than sitting at home
watching my waist grow.”
To him it was an absolutely revolutionary idea. Next we talked about who might have the income in a
bad economy to afford cosmetic dentistry. Doctors stay busy through thick and thin, and earn good
incomes. Then it occurred to me that doctors can never find time to go see a dentist during office
hours because they keep the same hours. When doctors are off duty, so are dentists.
So we contacted the neighborhood hospital and bought their mailing list of about a thousand local
physicians.
I told him to hire a graphic artist to design a postcard that featured veneer, the latest technology for
tooth whitening. “Find an attractive patient willing to have her picture on the postcard showing her
teeth before and after the veneers have been applied. The picture will say it all.”
Then I told him to put some text on the card that said, “I’m a health professional, and I know how hard
it is for you to find time during the week to take care of your dental needs. That’s why I’m open
weekends to serve you. Call me anytime on my cell phone, and I’ll be happy to see you when you’re
ready.”
I warned him ahead of time that he would have to do a series of mailings. Once wouldn’t do it.
Statistics show that consumers won’t act until they’ve seen a message between four and seven
times.
Sure enough, after the fifth mailing he called to tell me he’d gotten his first patient, a neurosurgeon
who had $22,000 worth of work done.
19 The single most important ingredient in a successful business is having a customer. Customers buy
to feel good or to solve a problem. Customers want you to be available when they are available.
Why are grocery stores open till 10 o’clock at night? Why is Blockbuster open seven days a week?
Because the customer wants them to be open.
I gave my dentist a number of other revolutionary suggestions: Never stand over your patient.
Always sit at the same level. Make sure your waiting and treatment rooms are decorated with
pleasing colors. The chairs must be comfortable. The magazines need to be updated regularly, not
just every three or four years. Four Walls Marketing is all about the environment, the feeling, even
the music. Make patients feel they are walking into a cozy living room. Get rid of the dehumanizing
intercom patients have to buzz to get in. Have your receptionist sit out in the waiting area where
everyone can see and talk to her. Your office isn’t Fort Knox.
Always call patients within 24 hours of treatment to ask how they’re doing. They appreciate knowing
that the dentist cares about them, even if they’ve only had a cleaning. For the pennies it costs to
make that call, the opportunities that follow-up phone calls present are amazing, like defusing a
misunderstanding that could cause a patient thought about after getting home.
I told my dentist to do some research about his patients. “Have your receptionist ask your patients
what newspapers and magazines they read. Then contact those magazines and buy their mailing
list. Even The Wall Street Journal sells its mailing lists. Find those people who are in your primary
trading area, from the zip codes. Then communicate with them. Send them a series of direct mail
letters and promotional pieces once a month for seven straight months.”
I hear all the time from business people, “I sent out a direct mail piece and it didn’t work.” If you’re
going to buy a television campaign, are you going to run just one spot? Of course not. Why would
you expect a big result from one mailing? Yet most business owners make that same mistake. It’s all
about continuity.
Finally, I told my dentist that when he’s finished major work on a patient, send a gift each month for
the next six months. A fruit-of-the-month basket is easy and inexpensive. Remind the patient that
you care, that you’re there for him, and turn your customer into a marketing ambassador.
Think Local
The marketing battlefield has changed. It’s critical to downsize your marketing to match your prime
market. Your business is a far better advertising medium than newspapers, radio, TV, or billboards.
Most of us were taught the mass media theory of marketing: think big. But profits today are being
made by those who think small, and the smaller the better. Single store, even for the biggest chains,
is the best of all.
Have you ever seen a mass market ad campaign for Starbucks? Absolutely not. Paul Newman’s
food company doesn’t advertise. The Virgin Group of companies gets along quite well without much
advertising. What about restaurant chains like The Cheesecake Factory, or clothing stores like
Tommy Bahama? What about Krispy Kreme and Harley Davidson? No mass media, right? Yet
these are some of the most successful marketers in the world.
Mass media advertising was developed for another age in another marketplace. That’s why I say that
face time, the personal touch inside your four walls, beats air time, advertising, every time.
20 About Tom Feltenstein: Tom is the CEO and founder of Power Marketing Academy, a leading consulting firm that
consults and educates businesses in the industries of retail, hospitality, and service. PMA conducts clinics, seminars,
strategy sessions, trainings and speaking events. A visionary counselor to Fortune 500 companies and franchise
organizations, Tom is a renowned keynote speaker, trainer and strategist. As a widely published author, he has written 12
books. Prior to his distinguished 25 year trajectory as a consultant to Fortune 500 companies, Tom began his career with
McDonald’s Corporation, rising up to become a senior-level marketing executive under Ray Kroc’s tutelage. He later
served as senior vice-president for Bozell, an international multi-billion dollar advertising agency. He advocates taking
care of your internal customers – your employees – so they become your marketing ambassadors. He foretold the end of
mass marketing a decade before it became the new buzz. Tom is a people-person who preaches the path to success is
the one that affords you the most influence, costs you the least, and offers the biggest payoff: a joyful life of uncommon
success. For more info visit www.tomfeltenstein.com
21 How to get RED HOT in a Cool Market ePowerUp your Profits & Productivity By Terri Murphy iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
Founder & President: WomensWisdomNetwork.com
CIO, U. S. Learning, Inc.
Author, Speaker, Communications Consultant
Contributing author of best seller “TRUMP: The BEST Real Estate Advice I Ever Received”
Have you noticed that business today is facing a bit of a challenge? With costs of doing business
changing every day, today’s large and small businesses are overwhelmed, overloaded and stressed
to find new ways to save money, time and streamline efficiencies….and oh how the conversation
blames the “bad market”….
Here’s a thought: The Market is the MARKET! There are admittedly changes every day, but so
what? If you think about it, people are still buying or selling some “thing” everyday! Their delivery
may change, the process may change, and the evolution of product need may be a factor at some
point for every product or service. As an example, there are fewer demands today for vinyl records
than there were 50 years ago, but some “thing” replaced it. When the market changes, the smart get
changing!
Look at the positive side of an ever changing marketplace:
People still need products and services. As an example, there is little substitute for food, shelter and
clothing. Living under your car is uncomfortable and drafty, you need food every day and clothes are
required to protect our bodies from the elements. Transportation of some kind is required daily and
although the medium may be impacted by fuel prices, our society demands and is designed around
our ability to transport ourselves to and from destinations. As a result of a change or challenge, some
creative solution emerges when we are forced by change to find an alternative.
When we apply an attitude of winning instead of whining, we open the gates to creativity, possibility
and ultimately a new way or means of getting around the initial challenge.
22 Cool markets provide an escape hatch for the mildly committed, those that don’t want to work that
hard or are unmotivated, or my favorite, the inflexible. It’s a GREAT time for those that see the
obstacles and start figuring a way to make the sales happen. No one says this is easy or quick, but a
snag in the marketplace opens doors to newer and often times better opportunities to create lifelong
relationships and drive more sales.
More millionaires are born in a challenged economy than in a robust one. When markets get tough,
the tough go back to basics, get creative and become intensely focused in every aspect of how their
business functions to discover new ways to deliver their products and services. When sales stall,
we’ve got a window of opportunity to re-design, re-work and re-ignite new processes in our service,
delivery and fulfillment that would not have ordinarily been discovered. When things are down like
they are today, it is a great time to turn up the heat and initiate new relationships and seek new
solutions.
Are you ready to get started? There are many more ways in various types of businesses to get RED
HOT all of which takes some homework on your part. But in almost every case and in every business,
there are steps that can make your sales jump from flat to fabulous if you are willing to make some
changes in your daily activities. Here’s a few to get you started:
Start with an attitude shift!
Studies prove that whatever you focus on becomes your reality and positive thinkers usually get
positive results. Abrupt change opens the door to seek more creative solutions, so focus on how to
enthusiastically embrace new innovative approaches to what appears to be obstacles. Begin with
identifying the possible positive outcomes which will spur creativity. Every change reveals new
opportunities that would ordinarily be lost in the mundane and routine!
Embrace Adaptability! Studies prove that flexibility is the vital key to thriving and surviving. For
those dinosaurs that refuse to embrace newer tools, resources and systems may find themselves
littering the sidelines in today’s competitive market. This can happen overnight regardless of their
historically esteemed experience and reputation—things are moving that fast! Experience is no
longer necessarily a “plus” in today’s competitive world, so stop whining about how you used to do it
and let’s get busy how to do it differently and ultimately better!
Map out where you are now:
Seriously sit down with a white board or poster sized piece of paper and map out your service model
from the beginning to end, charting every step from the first point of contact until the product or
service has been fulfilled. Make notes of your present “systems” to see where you might be able to
plug in other options or systems to accelerate delivery faster, better and cheaper.
Ask for help:
23 Call in strategic partners or those ancillary providers to your services and brainstorm out of the box,
the new ways to obtain processes, deliver and streamline your product or service from their point of
view. You’ll be surprised by how often the obvious opportunities are missed just because of a simple
communication gap that could be a real differentiator in your service model. If you use a delivery
service, you may find out they have a newer, less expensive shipping option. Maybe you employ an
outside vendor for ordering supplies, only to find out that there are newer, more efficient opportunities
that have developed since you originally began using their services. The best thing about change is
that it often reveals new and more efficient ways to do what we have always done. However, when
business is brisk, you have little time or inclination to investigate the latest technologies or systems
that might be just want you need to improve the customer’s experience and your profitability!
Listen to the customers:
Your next step might be to set up a breakfast, lunch, or even virtual meeting with some of your
current customers and clients to get the scoop on what their problems, challenges and preferences
might be with you or your company. Be creative! If your business is not local in nature, the web
provides many new innovations on connecting through online meetings, webinars, tele-summits and
conference calls.
If it is a virtual or tele-summit meeting, arrange to have breakfast or lunch “delivered” (i.e. send
muffins, pizza, etc.) to their offices so you can dine, discuss and share. With this information, they
can help you help them by improving and tweaking several nuances of your service model. The key
here is to “hear” the conversation from your customers and then make changes accordingly. If no
one is listening and you are…they will notice!
Investigate your Options:
Invigorate your efforts to differentiate your services. Brainstorm ways to develop more unique and
engaging service options that are different from or better than your competitor’s. List the categories
for offering distinctions like your processes for purchasing and delivery. Check out what your top
competitors are doing to design more distinction to your model. Engage in researching updated
technology systems that provide a broader spectrum of automated 24/7 delivery platforms. Consider
your unique competitive advantages and pump them up another notch.
Crank up your Communication Dynamics:
It is critical that when we reinvent service and communication processes that we focus on engaging
the 4 different generations who make up today’s consumers. Of the four categories GenX is rapidly
24 advancing and dominates the buying public. Their core preferences and values differ greatly from
Boomers and Civics. Responding and resonating with their preferred mediums for information and
service open the doors to compete and win.
*GENERATIONAL DYNAMICS:
The 4 quadrants of Generation Dynamics
Core Value: RESPECT /Honor Core Value: WINNING/Teamwork Civics
Boomers
61+ years old
43-60 years old
Gen X
Gen Y or
Millennial
22-42 years old
13-21yrs
Core Value: DIY-
Core Value: WIFM –Sociability
Do It Yourself (w/help)
(What’s in it for me?)
*http://www/appleassociates.com
Have you reviewed your current marketing messages to see if they resonate with the core value and
preferences of your target market? If you are touting your years of experience, you will gain
miniscule ground with Gen X and Y who care little about experience, but are seeking a good
service/buying experience.
If your message speaks to teamwork and involvement, you may find yourself limiting your marketing
message in a way that speaks primarily to boomers. The key here is to again examine what you are
saying, where you are saying it and how it is being delivered. As an example, putting “HELP
WANTED” ads in the classified section of your newspaper will almost guarantee you will get little or
no response from GenX/Y as they are online using Monster.com and other online resources for job
25 opportunities. It pays to review your current marketing words and systems to see if they are
disseminating the right message to the group or groups you are seeking to attract.
With Civics, you may find that they are not as technically efficient using the latest social media or
texting, so design your marketing accordingly. Boomers, in general have been slower to adapt to text
messaging, but studies indicate that at this writing, rely more on email and are ramping up their use of
social media including FaceBook and TWITTER.com.
GenX/Yer’s are heavy into text messaging and using social mediums to get and give information.
The bottom line here is don’t expect to use the old advertisements that “worked in the past” to reach
the full spectrum of new customers, clients or prospects. Learning to use words and systems that
“speak their language” will help cut advertising and marketing waste and ultimately provide more
effective response to your marketing efforts. (Read on to become familiar with additional tools and
systems that are now available.)
Marketing & Communication System Makeovers:
When you understand the nuances of each generation, revamping your marketing messages and
mediums becomes a key component to effective and successful marketing campaigns.
You might as well forget the self-aggrandizing message touting years of experience and impressive
sales numbers if you are interested in engaging GenX/Yers. Today’s generation is not interested in
an experienced provider, so much as enjoying a good buying experience. Learn to utilize words and
tools that speak to your target audience so that you can guarantee a more successful return on your
marketing investment.
This can be done by combining mediums that incorporate different options. Initiate or upgrade your
electronic messaging for the GenX/Y group who would prefer to “think green” and skip the paper
messages and prefer an electronic newsletter or securing information at their timing via automated
response systems.
Older generations still respond to traditional marketing, so to maximize the medium and your
investment, simply add a web link to printed materials to drive website visits to additional information
or free reports. Engaging GenX and Y requires you “speak their language” and setting up response
tools that allow for immediate, real time communication exchange will require using automated voice
messaging, text messaging or 24/7 posts on social networks.
If your services allow, provide easy online purchasing opportunities to make your products available
globally and 24/7. Be aware that if you collect ANY information, even a simple email address, you
MUST have a privacy statement on your website.
Pick up the PHONE:
26 Remember that communication device before email? Nothing beats the sound of a real live voice.
Get back on the phone and call three past customers a day to re-connect, update contact info and
see how you can support them in their business…and get a referral while you are at it! Check out the
message on your voice mail and kick it up to add other options to reach you like email, text or Instant
Messaging. (IM)
Make 3 calls a day 5 days a week for 4 weeks and you’ve made 60 phone calls a month! Multiply that
by even 10 months and you are on your way to making 600 contacts a year! These are what are
referred to as “contact” calls – 3 minutes or less in length –
Here’s a simple script:
Hi, ____ this is (your name) and it’s been awhile and I’d been thinking about you! Just wanted to
check in and see how you are doing! How’s the family! Great to catch up with you! Give me a call if I
can ever be of help to you!” - End of call –
With 3 calls a day at 3 minutes each, you’ve invested around 10 minutes a day re-connecting with
past clients, referral partners, prospects or suppliers. It keeps you top of mind! Be sincere, and use
your planning system to rotate through your customer base regularly.
Invest in a Professional Email Address:
It may sound simplistic, but too many business owners have “temporary” email addresses and that
can cost you big dollars in the future. A PERMANENT email address is one that does NOT display
your internet service provider, but reflects a domain name that you have purchased. Because it will
not change if you choose another ISP service, it is “permanently” saved in unknown address books.
As an example: [email protected] is what the public sees when I send an email, even though I
may change my internet service provider a zillion times, no one will have to change my email in their
address books. It will STAY THE SAME regardless if I switch providers (EarthLink, Cable, etc.) It will
always remain the same because my internet service provider is “pointing” my email to this address
and I don’t risk losing emails due to an email address change.
A TEMPORARY email address is one that is actually like your account number at a store. It shows
up bearing the identification of your service provider, which at some point could change should you
switch services.
[email protected] or [email protected] indicates this is NOT a permanent email address and if
the internet service provider is changed sometime in the future, these emails will no longer function
and the emails sent will be lost or returned. There are some programs out there that will forward, but
if you are a professional, invest in a professional email address that indicates who you are or what
you do. [email protected] at least indicates who you are and provides a business context to
what you do.
27 Save your personal email addresses for friends and family. [email protected] may send a
different message to your prospects, customers and clients that and indicates you are using a free
service and sounds much less professional.
Get a Web Makeover:
Successful web sites have migrated from being an informational to interactional destination. Add tools
that integrate a social platform that allows you to interact or “speak “with the consumer. Some sites
offer immediate 24/7 using automated voice services or customer support. Begin with incorporating
social interactive tools like blogs and podcasts to provide participation that promotes creating more of
a “community” online and ultimately drive more traffic and add “stickiness” to your web visits. Using
these tools pumps up search engine optimization (SEO) resulting in more traffic to your site.
Get Social:
If you thought social media was just for kids, you need to get up to speed! Social media is the latest
conversation medium that provides a channel to engage and monitor the conversations about you
and your services. It is early in the medium to see how comprehensively this affects sales, but there
is no doubt it is the preferred medium for GenX/Y and is a vital marketing component today. For the
first time, businesses and individuals can actually “hear” the honest conversations of what is being
said about their products and services in real time. This new vortex of conversations can help
businesses correct and refine nuances of their services to better meet client demands and
preferences. There are several social media networks out there, but at this writing, there are 3-4 free
platforms proving to have the most activity: LinkedIn, PLAXO, FaceBook and TWITTER.com
Here are the ones that are proving to have the most activity:
o Businesses today must have a LinkedIn profile, a social media that links
professionals with other professionals. Consider it the business “suit” network for
professionals. Plaxo is another network along the same lines.
o FaceBook has exploded to over 175 million users a day, and allows for a more
casual insight connecting people, friends and family. This supersedes old time
networking by allowing for immediate real time postings for friends to connect
with friends globally and in real time.
o Twitter is a derivative of blogging, often referred to as “micro-blogging, allowing
for short “tweets” or messages limited to 140 characters. This medium is not
about connecting friends but “followers” who may have shared interests and can
attract followers from all over the globe.
You are probably wondering how these new social media’s actually help increase your
business. Consider that the social media conversations give you an insight into what people
are saying about you, or your services, along with connecting you with what would normally be
an improbable connection that can ultimately result in a richer referral network.
28 Learn to sell Value! – In today’s competitive environment, learning what is valuable to the end user is
the key to repeat and continued business, which is ever changing. As change happens in every
minute, it is incumbent upon us to continually seek new ways to deliver our services and products
more efficiently and in a manner that excites and delights our customers and clients. When the value
of our products and services is combined with strong relationships, high integrity and authentic care,
price becomes a lesser issue. Focus on delivering high quality services and your customers will insist
on working with you.
Change is inevitable and how we handle the challenge makes for winning or losing. Don’t try and
tackle everything at one time, as making micro changes will be easier and less intimidating. But
whatever you do…stop whining, take action and start winning!
About Terri Murphy: As a top producing sales person in the Chicago area for over 24 years, Terri understands the
unmatchable power of strategic alliances that truly create a strong differentiation in the market today. Terri is the President
and founder of www.WomensWisdomNetwork.com., an online resource network for women in business. She serves as
the Chief Information Officer of U. S. Learning in Memphis and president of Terri Murphy Communications, Inc. Her
expertise is consulting with companies, executives and associations on ways to create new relationships through cutting
edge marketing and communication strategies. This includes developing innovative ways to add value and support
systems that enhance networking opportunities between companies, their customers and ancillary services that build true
clients for life. From her media experience, Terri offers personal training that improves communication dynamics and
presentation skills. Terri is a Faculty Member of www.iLearningGlobal.tv and is the author of 5 books, produced and
hosted both television and radio programs, and been featured on ABC, NBC and CNBC News as a sales industry expert.
As a consultant to major National Associations, and CIO of U. S. Learning, Inc. in Memphis, Tennessee, Terri
understands the critical need to interface technology solutions with personal customer care to create truly exceptional
relationships. She is a published author of 5 books, including her most recent book with Donald Trump, “The Best Real
Estate Advice I Ever Received”. She is a staff writer for several national publications as well as producing online national
training programs. Terri is now back in the studio producing podcasts and teleseminars for sales industries nationwide.
Terri also produces a weekly internet radio program: WomensWisdomNetworkRadio.com. Terri continues to create
innovative ways to add value and support systems that enhance the network between companies and their customers that
build true clients for life. She currently is a staff writer for Broker Agent News, Mortgage Originator Magazine and Realty
Times, Frog Pond Publishing and Memphis Woman’s Magazine and other periodicals. Terri eagerly shares her systems
and strategies, and has to date, addressed over 1,900 audiences nationwide.
For more information visit
www.terrimurphy.com Comfort Versus Prosperity By Tom Murphy 29 iLearningGlobal Advisory Board Chairman
Author
Would you like to be more prosperous? That’s a question when asked anywhere in the world that
would get an overwhelming yes response. Why? Because prosperity means comfort and comfort is
the number one goal of all humans. It is however, a two-edged sword. Seeking comfort in most
cases requires effort and work. However, being in comfort can lead to a complacent laid-back
attitude and a disintegration of effort.
In a state of comfort the average person seems to seek more comfort in the form of entertainment. It
is a fact that in many developed countries populations have become totally hooked on round-theclock entertainment. In fact, the object of work has become a goal of not wanting to work. In most
modern countries people really want a higher level of prosperity but fail miserably when you compare
their wants with their actions. They fail when measured on their EVE ratio or their Education vs.
Entertainment ratio.
What is your ratio of dollars spent on education and personal growth versus dollars spent on
entertainment? This ratio may be a clue to anyone’s lack of the personal and financial success. The
dollars spent on the entertainment listed below don’t bring prosperity; they are the end result of what
may be too much prosperity or they may be a result of people acting like they have prosperity when
they don’t have it. What is your return on time and money invested in entertainment?
This question is only important if you are frustrated by general lack prosperity in your life and are
looking for answers. The list below may be an eye opener for anyone really looking for answers. How
much in time and money do you spend on both columns? Many people say they just can’t afford to
spend money on education. Complete the list and try and say that with a straight face!
30 EVE RATIO
Entertainment Dollars
Cable TV
Movies
Sports Events
Vacation
Dining
Drinking
Social Clubs
Video Games
Golf
Coffee
Satellite Radio
Music
Time
Money
Education
Time
Money
Most people have a ratio of way over a hundred to one on dollars spent on entertainment versus
education. In the U.S. the average person’s entire net worth at age 65, after a lifetime of work, is less
than sixty thousand dollars. Is there anything to be learned from these facts? Is it possible we have
gotten to be such an entertainment driven society that we are out of balance in or objectives in life. If
you want more prosperity would it be wise to spend some time and money studying prosperity from
prosperous teachers and mentors? Would it be wise to divert some of our extensive entertainment
budget into self education?
We have fallen into a trap of our own choice; a choice to seek entertainment and comfort as our
number one goal. Then we made an even bigger mistake. It was the choice to start to buy our
comfort on the installment plan. You know the 4 magic words: buy now, pay later. Later has arrived
and it’s ugly. It’s called massive personal debt.
The only answer is to go back to basics and learn from the success of others. The number one
identifiable success trait amongst highly successful people is continuous learning, not continuous
entertainment as you might think. The highly successful people say they can’t afford not to spend
money on education. Life is about choice. We either make right choices or choice is forced on us. If
you chose prosperity it’s time to learn how to make yourself more valuable.
The result of neglect in any area of our life leads to decay. This is especially true of our financial
worth in the market place. What are your skills worth in the market place today? In 2009 increasing
personal value is no longer an option. It is an absolute necessity. Your job or your business is going
to be on the line every day. Neglecting personal growth in favor of entertainment is no longer an
option. If you want to survive and thrive in an economic downturn you must set a new guided path
into your internal guidance system for the new results you want.
Ask yourself a question… Why did you stop learning after you graduated? If our world is constantly
changing, and is increasing at an incredible rate, then why is it that we often put off learning new
ways to think and to act in order to stay ahead of the game? There are a couple of similarities among
the most successful people in history. They surround themselves with the best and the brightest
mentors they can find, and they voraciously seek out the best knowledge, education, and training that
they can find.
31 They realize that if they get complacent or comfortable with their current skill set or knowledge that
they will lose their edge. This drive to acquire new ways to think and to act is what propels these
entrepreneurs to innovate and become the best at what they do. These people look at themselves as
a work in progress and in need of continual improvement. They know that success is a process of
learning and improving; a process or system that they must continually repeat in order to stay on top.
Getting better and recreating yourself involves a few very important factors. They are time, money,
and the will or desire to change. Of the three, change is the biggest obstacle for most people
because it forces them out of their comfort zone. There we are again right back to comfort. Let me
suggest a way to make change easier to accomplish. Do you think you could change just 1% at a
time? That may not seem like much but it can deliver huge results. Here’s how. There are 24 hours
in a day. If you break that down into minutes that is 1,440 minutes in every day. If you break that
down even further you get 100 segments of time with about 15 minutes each. Out of those 100
fourteen minute segments how many do you think you should devote to personal growth a day?
Would just 1 or 2 out of a hundred be too much? Those 1 or 2 segments on a continuous basis
would produce huge dividends in your life. Think about it, every day if you devoted 15 to 30 minutes
to make yourself more valuable what that could do for your future.
But that’s only part of the answer, the next part is key. Who do you want to learn to improve yourself
from? The answer is obviously the best and most successful people you can possibly find to teach
you, regardless of cost. Your teachers also must be available to fit into your schedule. Every
successful person in any area of life without exception has had and still has mentors and advisors to
guide them down the right path to success.
This guided path success approach will become your GPS navigation system to create the person or
lifestyle you dream of. Think about how a GPS system guides you with easy to understand directions
to your destination. Great teachers and mentors do the same thing. The $60,000 question is: “If you
could afford them and dedicate 1 or 2% of your day, would you be able to take just a few dollars out
of your entertainment budget everyday to hire them?” I absolutely guarantee you that with the
internet, a small amount of time, money and great mentors, success is well within the reach of every
person who wants to increase their personal value.
It is the choice of every person to decide for themselves them self whether it’s time for them to be a
victim of economic circumstance or educate themselves to prosper. When you apply choice to the
subject of wealth in America you are forced to come to some very strange conclusions. If I ask the
average American who has no savings and is heavily in debt the following question what answer do
you think I would get? Are you a victim of economic circumstance or are you in debt and broke by
your own choice? They may be offended and wouldn’t like either answer would they?
Let’s be very, very honest, we all know that most of us are not powerless victims of circumstance,
don’t we? So that means we are in debt and broke either by choice or by not exercising choice, which
would bring us right back to being victims of circumstance. You may say how could that be? If you
don’t use your power of choice to go where you choose, you then rely on circumstance to get you
there and as its name would suggest circumstances are not reliable. Without exercising our right of
choice we become potential victims of circumstance in all areas of our lives. In the absence of
direction there is no direction.
Let’s get back to your use of time. I would like to ask you to do a quick mental audit of how you
spend your day. You have 100 fourteen-minute segments you are given every day. If you get 8
hours of sleep every night that uses up about 1/3 of your 100 segments; leaving you with about 66
32 left. How many of those do you invest doing something you are really passionate about? How many
do you spend on mindless entertainment like radio, music or games? Start looking at the time of your
life differently. Are you spending it or investing it? Every time you look at a clock see four 15 minute
segments and ask yourself what are you doing to get to where you want to be? Congratulations for
downloading this book. If you have made it this far into the book then you are well ahead of the
game and are looking for success. Thanks for taking the precious minutes to invest in yourself.
Successful people realize that if you change yourself, you can change your world.
If you don’t know where you want to be that would be a great place to start because in the classic
sense you are lost with no real direction. Think about it, if you don’t know where you are going in life
and are just trying to get by in the classic sense you are lost. Once you choose where you really want
to get in life, there are a lot of great coaches and mentors to help guide you on your journey. The
following chapters will be given by some of the greatest teachers and mentors in the world. They
have helped millions of people get on the road to their full potential. Like all great teachers they live
for the success of their students.
About Tom Murphy: Starting his business career in real estate in Southern California, for more than four years, Tom Murphy led and trained an office of 20 sales people to national recognition. Tom then moved his family to Arizona to pursue a dream of real estate development. In 1975 he and his top salesperson from California—Tom Hopkins— started a sales training company, ‘Tom Hopkins International’. Tom Hopkins was the speaker and trainer and Tom Murphy ran the partnership the marketing and writing. Over the next 20 years the Tom Hopkins organization grew to be one of the largest sales training companies in the world. Mr. Murphy and his team produced books, videos and audio programs starring Mr. Hopkins that helped millions of people archive higher incomes around the world. Mr. Murphy sold his interest in the company in 1996 to pursue business interests with his family. Today he pursues his passion for projects in which he can use his skills to help others do better in life. Mr. Murphy and his wife live on the central coast of California and in Scottsdale Arizona. He and his wife Connie have a son, two daughters and five grand children. 33 The Adventure By Larry Wilson iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
Founder of Wilson Learning Corporation
Founder of Pecos River Learning
Co-authored the “best seller” The One-Minute Sales Person
West of the Pecos River,
Throughout the ranches of New Mexico and West Texas, cattle graze on ranges that are so large that
it is not economical to hang gates every place a road crosses a fence. So ranchers invented the
cattle guard – a ditch dug across the road with metal bars spaced every few inches to span the ditch
at road level.
Cattle guards were a great invention. Cars and trucks could drive right over them, but cows couldn’t
walk through them. The cattle were effectively fenced in. Of course, there was one problem with
cattle guards. When a pickup truck (the vehicle of choice in the West) runs over a cattle guard at fifty
or sixty miles an hour, the jolt to the driver, passengers, cargo, and suspension is hellacious.
Once upon a time, some enterprising cowboys got together to tackle this problem. Figuring that cows
were not terribly bright, the cowboys decided to fill in the ditches, and paint stripes across the road
where the bars used to be to keep the cows from straying. It worked. Cows wandered up to the
painted cattle guards and said to themselves, “Whoa! That’s a cattle guard; I can’t go any farther.”
Painted cattle guards became the rage. The cows, being mostly an unchallenging lot, accepted the
painted cattle guards, chose not to question their fate, and spent their days milling around grazing in
their assigned pasture.
But, of course, no solution is perfect. A few years passed, and then, one day, a couple of cowboys
found a herd that had crossed a painted cattle guard to graze in the rich, lush grass near the Pecos
River.
Here is what the cowboys concluded: One cow had gone up to the painted cattle guard and for the
first time really examined it. She squinted her eyes and looked at it hard. Thoughtfully, cautiously,
she put one hoof on the cattle guard and discovered that it was just paint. “Paint!” she thought. “This
isn’t a real cattle guard! I have been fenced in all these years by a pretend cattle guard!” This went
34 against herd wisdom. It was common knowledge that cattle guards were impassable barriers; it was
the way things were!
But now this cow thought hard and long about the consequences of being fenced in by paint. And
although she was terrified, she put another hoof on the paint and still nothing happened! She took a
deep breath and walked across. Then she led the entire herd across that painted cattle guard.
That is what we call a smart cow.
What made that smart cow successful wasn’t necessarily extra-ordinary courage. She was
successful because she took the time to examine the painted stripes on the road and to think about
them. She considered real evidence rather than relying on herd wisdom. Only then did she discover
that the cattle guard—which had kept her fenced in for all those years –was just made up!
The moral of this admittedly tall tale is this: At first glance, most true adventures seem dangerous and
full of barriers – like the cattle guards that herd wisdom teaches us not to cross. But if we stop to
examine what is fencing us in and then think about it, we often discover that the barriers are simply
paint. If we can clearly understand the difference between what is real and what is paint, we can
begin adventures we had never before imagined.
What you are about to read is a guide to the most important adventure that any of us will undertake—
the adventure of our lives. The premise is simple: we have a choice. We can remain fenced in all our
lives by herd wisdom and painted cattle guards, or we can choose to examine the cattle guards,
break through, and go our own way.
To go our own way requires us to think clearly and deeply. To begin, put yourself in the place of a
reader of the London Times in 1907. You’re sitting in your comfortable den. You pick up the paper
and an odd headline catches your eye:
“Wanted: People to Undertake Hazardous Journey – Small wages, bitter cold, long months of
complete darkness; constant danger; safe return doubtful; honor and recognition in case of
success.”
This ad was placed by the explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton, who was looking for people to accompany
him on his expedition to the South Pole. He was describing as honestly as he could an adventure, an
endeavor in which the outcome was uncertain, where great reward was possible but only at the cost
of risk, hard work, and danger.
Whether he knew it or not, Shackleton’s words were also an apt description of most people’s lives.
Our lives are adventures. At work, at home, and in our communities, we undertake often-difficult
endeavors in which the outcomes are unknown, where success and fulfillment are possible—not
guaranteed—but only at the cost of working hard, taking risks, and sometimes even facing danger.
On any adventure we have a choice. We can try to simply survive it—clinging to the hope we will get
to the end unscathed—or we can try to thrive, allowing the adventure to grow us in ways we could not
have imagined when we began. Clearly, the objective of the adventure of our lives is not simply to
survive (“Whew, I got to my death safely!!”) but to thrive in it and grow.
Here is what we mean.
Thriving
35 In the late seventies at Wilson Learning Corporation, we developed “Wellness,” a program directed at
helping individuals develop their physical, emotional, mental and spiritual selves. The intended
outcome of “Wellness” was helping people become not only more successful but also more fulfilled.
(Success and fulfillment are linked as a theme throughout this book. The self-actualized people
Abraham Maslow wrote about were in the hunt for both.)
We looked at the question of wellness this way: When we get sick, we go to doctors. A good
physician takes us—we would hope—from being sick to being “not sick.” We often live our lives
thinking that because we are not sick – not in pain or dysfunctional—we are well. But, in truth, we are
more often simply “not sick.”
Sick………….Not Sick…………..Thriving
This distinction is easy to see with physical health. We have the flu, we go to the doctor, we are told
to rest and drink lots of fluids, and eventually we get over the flu. We are no longer sick—but often
we are nowhere near our optimum state of physical healthier. We aren’t sick, but we still could be
overweight, not getting enough sleep, not even remotely in shape… we aren’t physically thriving.
Surviving Versus Thriving
There are lots of people who are simply not sick during the adventure of their lives: They are not
happy at work; they are in the middle of their lives but have lost their sense of direction and purpose.
Others aren’t consistently feeling the way they want to feel. Some find themselves facing great
opportunity—an adventure—but they find themselves unwilling to take the risk.
Many of us are just surviving our lives, thinking that we are doing what we’re supposed to do. We
think we’re okay—but we’re not truly thriving in our one and only great adventure.
What we want to explore is how to thrive in the great adventure of our lives. We are also going to
suggest that what is crucial to the endeavor is emotional, mental and spiritual growth.
Growing Up Emotionally
Here is the paradox. Learning how to thrive requires much thought and reflection, yet the answers
are not to be found only through intelligence. To use the poet’s dichotomy, thriving involves not solely
matters of the head, but also matters of the heart. The question of whether we’ll thrive in our
adventure or settle for less is directed primarily at our emotional intelligence. The people best able to
thrive in the adventure of their lives are those who are emotionally mature.
New York Times science writer Daniel Goleman summarizes emotional maturity in his best-selling
Emotional Intelligence this way:
1. Being self-aware---- Knowing our emotions , recognize a feeling as it happens;
2. Managing emotions--- Handling and managing our feelings appropriately;
3. Motivating ourselves--- Marshaling emotions to pay attention, delay gratification, and stifle
impulsiveness;
4. Feeling empathy--- Understanding others and recognizing their emotions; and
5. Handling relationships--- Building and maintaining relationships.
36 When we are emotionally mature, we are much better able to solve the two categories of problems
that cause much pain, dysfunction, and frustration (both personal and organizational). Intrapersonal
problems (within ourselves) show up as lack of confidence, self-doubt, lack of clarity, anxiety, and
fear. Interpersonal problems (between ourselves and others) result in conflict, lack of trust, ineffective
communication, and again, lack of clarity.
Growing up Spiritually
The handmaiden of emotional growth is spiritual growth. Let’s go back to the idea of the adventure.
An adventure is an endeavor in which the outcome is uncertain and contingent on many factors,
some within our control but many not. And yet, our adventure is framed by this certainty: It is
temporary. Our adventure is completed by our death. It is the great and looming presence of death
that gives poignancy and urgency to our lives.
I was sixty-three years old and at the very top of my game. I was making a lot of money, well known
in my field. I went for my annual checkup and the doctor said, in that analytical, medical way, “We
need to do more tests, but we think you have bladder cancer.” More tests, diagnosis confirmed.
Nothing we can do, no position we hold can protect us from the capriciousness of life. Now you’re
here, not you’re not. I caught my cancer early enough to stop if from metastasizing for now. But the
lesson is indelible. There was a time when we did not exist. These truths apply to each of us.
Why am I here?
Given the “now you see me, now you don’t” nature of our lives, the important questions become the
spiritual ones-Who am I? Why am I here? What difference will I make? The spiritual adventure is to
find and live the answers to those questions.
That death frames all this is not morbid to the emotionally and spiritually mature. It is simply the truth.
It might be painful. We might choose to deny it for much of our lives, but “growing up” requires that
we eventually embrace this truth. Our deaths can illuminate our path; they can create clarity. We can
use the fact of our eventual death to inspire us to get on with it.
The large picture is not about “me”
Spiritual growth also requires moving from the position that “life is about me” to seeing ourselves as
part of a whole, one thread in the tapestry. Fritz Kunkel, a German-born psychotherapist, calls this
shift “me to we.”
With this shift in perspective come many gifts. When we are involved with others, we are less fearful.
When we serve others, we get feelings of fulfillment and joy that are difficult to dig out of the flinty
ground of “life is about me.”
LEARNING WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW
Growing up is an important theme of Play to Win! and the key to thriving in the adventure of our lives.
When Plato wrote that learning is rediscovering what we already know, he probably wasn’t talking
about quantum physics. More likely, he was talking about the themes and ideas presented here. It
seems common sense. We know that emotional maturity and spiritual growth are vital to any hope
we have of becoming truly fulfilled and successful. Yet it can’t be said that this is common practice. It
takes discipline and work to understand and control our emotions, to grow up emotionally. It takes
37 courage to fully absorb the truth that we will die; and then to use that truth to propel us toward our
reason for being here. It often takes a wake-up call of crisis proportion to see that we are not the
center of the universe, but rather, that we are here to help and serve others. Unfortunately, we often
don’t come to that understanding until it is nearly too late, until we are looking back on our lives
wondering “What if….?”
IF YOU COULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN…
Our friend and colleague Dick Leider’s primary mission in life is helping people plan and live careers
that are successful and meaningful. For his remarkable book The Power of Purpose, Dick
interviewed hundreds of people in their seventies and eighties. (He initially interviewed two hundred
couples in the late 1970s and has followed up with approximately thirty interviews every year thereafter.) He asked these simple questions: If you could live your life over again, what would you
change? What is the wisdom that you would pass on? Although he got many different specific
responses, most fell into three categories.
I would see the big picture
Dick’s subjects often said they were so busy living day to day that they missed truly living their lives
and all of a sudden they were sixty five. The only time they reflected on who they were and why they
were here was in times of crisis. They wished they hadn’t relied on crisis to form their decision
making and their life’s direction. They wished they had taken more time to reflect on the big picture,
including the spiritual aspect of their lives.
I would be more courageous
The second pattern Dick heard was the wish to have been more courageous, to have taken more
risks, especially at work and in relationships. At work his subjects would have risked being more
creative and finding work that was meaningful to them. In relationships, they would have focused on
having the courage to be better friends, parents, sons, or daughters.
I would make a difference
They also wished they had understood earlier that the essence of living is to make a positive
difference. No matter how successful or unsuccessful people were, they expressed a hunger to leave
a legacy. Reflecting back, they wished they could have made more of a difference.
YOUR CHOICE
See the bigger picture, live more courageously, and make a difference. The point is to ask yourself
right now, in the present; Do these themes pique my interest, touch my heart, stir my soul? Is that
what I want my work and life-my great adventure-to be about? Or will I wait, change nothing,
“survive” the adventure of my life, and look back and ask myself “What if…?” The choice, of course,
is yours.
The Journey
You cannot thrive in your life just by reading a book, no more than you can satisfy your appetite by
reading a cookbook. Life is an adventure to be fully experienced, lived, experimented with, and
committed to. A book is a poor substitute for experiencing what the adventure has to offer. But a
38 good guide book can help. It can provide tools to make the adventure easier and the insights of the
others to help illuminate your experience.
This book is such a guide. It is full of tools and perspectives that we-and many of our clients-have
found useful in our adventures. The first perspectives that we want to discuss-and challenge-are the
beliefs we hold with almost religious fervor about winning and losing, success and failure.
About Larry Wilson: Larry Wilson is widely considered one of the foremost thinkers, speakers and doers in the business world today. He founded two premier companies: Wilson Learning Corporation (1965), a more than fifty‐million‐dollar training and research organization, and Pecos River Learning (1985), a change management and leadership development organization. These companies Larry founded have carved new territories in how we think about business, customers, and ourselves. Larry’s newest venture is called Wilson Collaborative, a new business model for new thinking leaders. Larry is not just a theorist; he is a doer and a learner. By age 29 he became the youngest lifetime member of the life insurance industry's prestigious Million‐Dollar Round Table. His passion, however, was in understanding how people in business learn, and what allows them to create both Success and Fulfillment. With Wilson Learning Corporation, he pioneered work in sales effectiveness, customer loyalty, business relationships, and strategic thinking. He sold this company to Wiley publishing in 1982. His continual exploration of individual and corporate courage and creativity led directly, in 1985, to his founding Pecos River Learning. He gathered leading thinkers and facilitators in the areas of human motivation, creativity, change management, and culture change. This resulted in his creating totally unique ways of helping individuals and teams face the uncertain future by discovering and releasing their full potential and thus perform at their very best. In 1995 Aon Corporation purchased Pecos River. In the year 2000 Larry was motivated by Charlie Eitel, his former client, to work with him for the third time to turn around a company. This time to assist newly appointed CEO Charlie to turn around Simmons Mattress Company from a $500 million organization to a $1,300,000 company and do it in less than four years. Ask Charlie how that happened and he says it was through the people. Ask how he did that and he says through The Great Game of Life, which is the formal name of the cultural change process of the Wilson Collaborative. Today, having flunked retirement twice, Larry’s back in the board rooms of those leaders who are ready, willing and able to “Change Their Game”. By Collaborating with Larry and his powerful and experienced associates they manifest their good companies into great companies as a result of becoming great leaders themselves. As an author, his writings are world‐renowned. In 1984, he co‐authored the “best seller” The One‐Minute Sales Person that sold over one million copies. His other best‐selling books include: Changing the Game: The New Way to Sell and Stop Selling, Start Partnering. His last book, Play to Win! Choosing Growth Over Fear in Work and Life, was selected Best Business Book for 1999 by ForeWord magazine as well as winning the prestigious Benjamin Franklin Award for Best Business Book for 1999. He is a Senior Fellow at the College of Education & Human Development, University of Minnesota. In May of 2005 Northland College granted Larry an honorary PhD in Business. He was inducted into the National Speakers Hall of Fame. Larry is not only a speaker, he is himself an event, and one you’ll learn from and long remember. So, be prepared, prepared to become awake, aware, more alive and more recommitted to the adventure that is your life. Bring your open mind, bring your true self, and leave your ego at the door. Buckle up and get ready for a journey into a better future for both you as a leader as well as for those you hope will follow your new leadership, not because they have to, but because they want to. To learn more visit www.larrywilson.com. 39 Relationship Intelligence ® Who is Glad to Know You? By Jim Cathcart iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
CSP, CPAE
Golden Gavel Award
The Cavett Award
Speaker Hall of Fame
Legends of Speaking
Past President of National Speakers Association
Your life is a series of relationships and the more intentional and conscious you are about the
formation and development of them, the more likely you will be to reach your goals.
Now let’s explore the foundations of this concept together. I’ll pose your questions as best I can and
provide the answers I’ve found that most people are seeking.
What is Relationship Intelligence®?
It is taking an intelligent approach to the selection, cultivation, and maintenance of your connections
with others. It means weeding out the relationships that take value away from you and building on
those that bring you value. Another way to look at it is; Treating Relationships as Assets. You look at
your social circle, business circle, family circle and other key connections with an eye toward your
Desired Outcomes (goals.) If a relationship contributes to your advancement or enhances your life
you preserve it. If it doesn't then you change it or eliminate it. It is being conscious and intentional
about your connections with others. (I'll be repeating this phrase often.)
Isn't that kind of mercenary and uncaring?
Not at all. You do it every day. When you see someone who looks angry, dangerous or scary then
you avoid them. If you have to deal with them in order to get what you need then you simply manage
the interaction carefully and then move on to people you like to be with. I'm simply suggesting that
40 you take that conscious and intentional approach to a higher level and start applying it to all of your
relationships.
What is a High-Value Relationship (HVR)?
A High-Value Relationship is one in which both participants receive substantial benefits. This could be
mutual support, friendship, business referrals, revenue, sales, intellectual stimulation, spiritual
inspiration or any number of other benefits. The key is that YOU consider the effects to be valuable
and so does the other person. Each person is fully in charge of their own determination of value.
Does it have to be a business relationship?
Certainly not. A marriage is a High-Value Relationship and so is a teacher-student relationship. As
long as both parties gain from it.
Why do I need HVRs?
Because relationships are the essence of your life and the more of them that are HVRs the more you
will get what you want from life. If all you do is hang out with people who don't care about you and
who have no joy then your life will stink. Count on it. So, be intentional in choosing whom you invest
your energy and time with.
What are the qualities of a HVR?
There are three essential qualities in every high value relationship:
1. Both parties are committed to the success of the relationship (it can't be one sided),
2. There must be enough trust for the truth to flow freely, and
3. Both of you need to understand what you can expect from the other person. You need clear
agreements.
Do relationships have a life expectancy?
Interesting question, yes, relationships have life cycles related to their purpose for existence but many
relationships evolve into broader areas and become even more important than originally intended.
Likewise, some relationships that started off as vitally important tend to fade over time.
How do I know which relationships to invest in?
You don't usually. So it is best to be optimistic about all your contacts with others. Who knows, the
clerk who serves you today may be the son of the business executive who gives you the opportunity
of a lifetime tomorrow. Emerson said, "Everyone in some way is my superior, in that I can learn from
him." A good attitude to hold.
41 What gives a relationship its value?
Your Desired Outcome determines the value potential of your relationships. If you want to become
the Mayor of your city, many relationships suddenly become important to you. If you want a sale, the
potential buyer becomes more important to you. And the degree to which you also can be valuable to
the buyer or voter will determine whether there is a true relationship or merely a transaction between
you.
How can I reasonably treat all my relationships as HVRs?
You can't. So the starting point is your "Inner Circle." This is the 5 to 12 people through whom you get
your major results at this time. Think about whom you work with most closely and rely upon most.
These few people represent your "team." If they are championship-level people then you have a high
capacity for performance. If they don't possess much talent or skill then your success is currently
inhibited. Take a close look at who is in your present Inner Circle and assess what each brings to the
party. If you are missing some vital abilities then Go Shopping! Find some people to bring actively into
your life and begin to cultivate your relationships with them.
What is a relationship?
Another really good question! You hear a lot of admonitions to build relationships so it is important to
define what one is. I believe that a relationship is a direct connection between people in which
value is exchanged. The greater the value they exchange the stronger the relationship tends to be.
Value could be encouragement, education, purchasing goods or services, support, love, or
collaboration. The participants are the ones who determine the value.
Every Relationship is the Seed of Great Potential
One Acorn can produce an Oak that generates millions of Acorns. The same is true of Relationships.
One Relationship can become the genesis of abundant opportunities for you. One Relationship can
truly change your life.
The creation of High-Value Relationships is a science and an art that you can learn to master.
“Relationship Intelligence ®” is a way of looking at Relationships in the context of your Desired
Outcomes. Every relationship that connects directly to an outcome you desire will build momentum
for you to achieve it. Every relationship that does not connect to your goal will utilize energy that could
have been invested more wisely.
This does not mean that all of your relationships must be goal oriented, but it does mean that the
higher the percentage of intentionally formed relationships in your life the greater your chances are
for success.
To become more Intelligent about Relationships come with me, and let’s discover where the Acorns
of your future are today.
All Relationships Are Assets
In the 1980s I lived in Oklahoma, Tulsa to be exact. My speaking and training business was relatively
42 new and one of my anchor clients was the Oklahoma Bankers Association. They hired me for a total
of 27 different presentations over a few years and I wrote a monthly article in their magazine.
Ultimately I was hired by the American Bankers Association to be on the faculty of their Executive
Development School for new bank presidents. The reason I had this client was Mary Nixon. She was
in charge of an OBA Women’s Division meeting at Shangri-La Resort and hired me to deliver the
keynote speech.
The speech was very well received and Mary referred me to her colleagues who then hired me for
many other speeches and seminars. This, of course, led to my being hired by many individual banks
to address their company meetings and conduct training sessions with their executives. In other
words, it grew wonderfully and I loved my times with them. The reason Mary knew about me was Joe
Willard, the General Agent for Massachusetts Mutual’s Tulsa Agency, my other anchor client (for six
years.) Joe had hired me to speak to his agents and word had spread that I did a good job in
motivational training.
The reason Joe hired me was Tulsa Junior College. I was conducting a night class for them on Time
Management and Goal Setting and Joe wanted his agents trained to be better goal setters. The
reason I was teaching at TJC was the US Junior Chamber of Commerce where I held the position of
Senior Program Manager for Individual Development and Leadership Training. I was a speaker and
trainer for them who flew around the country delivering leadership training programs. I got that job
because Harold Gash, an Arkansas based distributor of Earl Nightingale’s motivational training, had
heard me deliver a speech to the Arkansas Jaycees and subsequently another to a political campaign
team. Harold believed in me as a speaker. He said, “Jim, you have more potential than any young
man I’ve ever known! You should be a speaker.”
Wow! He believed in me far more than I believed in myself at that time. Without his encouragement I
wouldn’t have applied for the US Jaycees position.
I met Harold because I had joined a Jaycees chapter and the man who invited me to join was
acquainted with Harold. It goes on…and on. So I won’t bore you with the full chain but I hope by now
you’ve discovered my point: Relationships Are Assets!!! All relationships are assets.
You know people who know or will meet others who may open doors that will change your life. There
are good ones and scary-bad ones out there. But all of your relationships are assets of some sort. It
is helpful to remember this as you communicate with others each day. Every little act you do or fail to
do adds an impression into the file that constitutes your reputation. And your reputation should be
planned in advance and managed intentionally. The more consciously and relentlessly you
cultivate each relationship and bring value or joy to those you connect with, the more assets you will
be amassing for future opportunities.
Now fast forward with me from the Tulsa days (1975 - 1982) to 1984 when I was living and working in
La Jolla, California. One day my phone rang and it was Michael Redwine calling from Brussels,
Belgium. His boss was coming to America to interview companies for possible sales and
management training for his firm in Europe. I met with his boss, Peter Kutemann, in my La Jolla office
and we hit it off very well. That led to me taking six trips to Scotland, England, Brussels, and Monte
Carlo to conduct training for Peter’s firm.
One day at Peter’s Brussels office I asked him, how did you hear about me? He said that Michael
43 Redwine’s father in law, who worked for the Press Association in Oklahoma, had once hired me to do
a last minute fill-in speech for another speaker and I had impressed him greatly. So they tracked me
down in California somehow and called to meet me. I was stunned at the remote chain of events. And
then I remembered that Michael’s father in law had learned about me from Mary Nixon’s
recommendations through the Oklahoma Bankers Association.
So later as I rode through the streets of Monte Carlo on the back of Peter’s motorcycle and joined his
management team for a delicious dinner at an outdoor restaurant along the route of the Monaco
Grand Prix with the Mediterranean Sea glistening in the background, I remembered that…All
Relationships Are Assets. And you never know where they will lead you.
The Basis of Relationship Intelligence ®
Relationships are Assets
In any setting, relationships are assets, both business and personal. As such, they can and should be
created, managed, nurtured, measured, and even discontinued, intentionally and consciously.
It’s All About Who Cares
Business cannot exist in the absence of relationships. The stronger the relationships, the more
potential for success in the business. It’s not who you know that counts; rather it’s who is glad that
they know you. The more they care—whether the “they” are associates, prospects, customers,
vendors—the greater the potential for success.
Relationships Comprise the Business
The business is not the stuff, it is the relationships between the people: It then follows that the
business exists whenever and wherever two or more people communicate to achieve the desired
outcome. This applies to virtual businesses as well. A “virtual” business may have no brick-andmortar “home” yet be highly successful. But it must have a relationship network of individuals focusing
on a desired outcome. So, focus on the relationships when you want to grow the business.
The Rules of Engagement Depend upon the Desired Outcome
When the purpose of a relationship changes, the expectations and “rules” that apply also change. In
that sense, the purpose defines the nature of the relationship, which holds true until the purpose or
desired outcome is met. Then that particular relationship ends, or transforms into a new one that is
driven by a new purpose. Therefore, the purpose, or desired outcome, gives meaning to the
relationships.
The Desired Outcome Defines the Business
All relationships can be evaluated with regard to the desired outcome, which may be as simple and
seemingly rules-free as casual friendship or as complex and legally binding as the organization of a
federal institution. A marriage contract is one that overlaps broadly between personal and legal
aspects of a relationship. The success of a business relationship always refers back to the desired
outcome, which might change over time, requiring ongoing re-evaluation.
44 The Key to Success is the Inner Circle
Any business, including “mom-and-pop” operations, is run by a select few, which we refer to as its
“inner circle.” Inner circles, those committed to reaching the desired outcome, are the key to the
success of any business. The Relationship Intelligence within the inner circle is of utmost importance,
for without an effective inner circle, the business will not succeed. The potential for success of any
business can accurately be predicted on the basis of the Relationship Intelligence ® of its inner circle.
About Jim: Jim is the founder and CEO of Cathcart Institute, Inc. a team of motivational consultants and business
coaches based in Southern California. His television shows are seen each week on iLearningGlobal.tv and his
Relationship Intelligence Blog is read by thousands. He serves on the advisory boards of the Schools of Business at
Pepperdine University and California Lutheran University. He is the author of fourteen books including two best sellers,
Relationship Selling™, and The Acorn Principle™. In the year 2000 the e-book edition of The Acorn Principle was the #2
national best-seller out of 2,000 titles……Stephen King was number one. For more information visit www.cathcart.com
45 How to Sell in a Tough Economy! By Don Hutson iLearningGlobal Faculty Member #1 NY Times Best‐Selling author (The One Minute Entrepreneur, co‐authored with Ken Blanchard) Hall of Fame Speaker, with 5,000 presentations to his credit CEO of U. S. Learning based in Memphis. CSP, CPAE One dreaded statement from a sales prospect can make a sales person turn pale:
“Is this your best deal?”…
“I’ve interviewed a couple of your competitors and they are willing to sell for less”…
“Thanks, but we want to “shop” around before deciding to sign up with you”
I recently got a call from a new prospective client who said “Our business has been so good for the past five
years that we haven’t felt a need to do any sales training, but things are different now and we need help!” In
today’s market of intense competition and constant margin pressure, this scenario continues to replay itself.
When not prepared for price resistance seen in tough market conditions, a weak sales person stammers with a
not-well-thought-out response like, “Well, let me see what I can do.” Is it really about price, or is it value? Let’s
consider some solutions.
What is Value Anyway?
Webster’s Dictionary defines value as the amount of a commodity, service, or medium of exchange that
represents relative worth. Did you catch that word – “relative”? We can be assured that while there are some
things that just about everyone values, the truth is that value, like beauty, is quite subjective. It is, indeed, in the
eyes of the beholder. It is incumbent upon every sales professional to find out exactly what the prospect
values. Be sure to lead with your ears and ask the questions that reveal what your prospect actually values.
Learn to Sell Value by Differentiating Your Services:
46 To decision makers, we often appear to offer just about the same products and services. It’s really easy when
you are buying something quantifiable, like a gallon of milk. We can get milk just about anywhere, and with
little difference in the product, any store will do. At U. S. Learning we define a commodity as:
“A product or service with no discernible differences from one another and is available from multiple sources.”
Your prospective customers may be busy commoditizing your solution, in which case you must be busy
differentiating it. The bottom line is this: Unless we can create a powerful and distinct difference to the
customer, we all appear to have the same product (service)…So the question is:
How do I separate myself and our offerings from the competition?
You’ve just got to be different….really different.
And it’s not always about price!
Seven Ways to Differentiate Yourself from the Competition
1.
Product Differentiation
How is your product or offering different from or better than your competitors’? If you can’t come up with some
solidly unique components, you may be in danger of being perceived as just another commodity. Here’s a
strategy:
Perhaps you and others within your company can make product enhancements a major initiative. The
collective intellect of this group might well be able to create something unique about your product or service;
then creatively exploit every aspect of the difference and tie it into what the prospective customer values. Your
goal is to come up with both UCAs (unique competitive advantages) and RAs (relative advantages). This gives
you admirable positioning in your marketplace and impresses your prospect base. Do anything you can do to
make sure that your prospects see you and your offering in a positive, superior light that is directly tied to what
they VALUE.
2.
Price Differentiation
Unsophisticated marketing and sales people often think that the best way to get business is by under-pricing
everybody else. So they trash their margin, buy business, and then wake up only to realize that they can’t
make any money that way. Thin margins have put more companies out of business than any other single
factor. If the boss chooses to go to market as the low price provider, your company better have every expense
category cut to the bone, including sales commissions, or it will perish in short order! In my opinion, this is the
worst avenue of approach in trying to build a viable long-term enterprise.
47 3. Relationship Differentiation
If there is a solid relationship between you and your clients based on high trust, you have an inside track of
tremendous value. This environment will make you the envy of your competitors, and your client may not even
give your competitor a chance if the relationship is strong enough.
Build trust with a solid, high integrity, win-win approach by exceeding their expectations and being a valued
resource in every conceivable way. Be prepared to EARN their trust, which takes time, planning and
perseverance. Most of the top performers we interview understand the value of “investing” in relationships to
get long term business. When you harness the power of relationships, you often lock out the competition
regardless of changes in the marketplace. Be impeccable with your word from the get-go and implement a
communication process that continues to keep you and your clients connected.
4. Process Differentiation
Many companies don’t attach enough significance to the processes that dictate the image of their business
model. Most personal and business behavior is based on habits and often antiquated policies. The “We’ve
never done it that way” syndrome bites us in the backside when we don’t give innovative thought to our
business practices. Get your best minds together and brainstorm better, more customer-friendly “out of the box
ways” to do business. Your customers will be impressed with your spirit of innovation and your team members
will become more energized in the process. Remember that how business is conducted changes every day
due to globalization, e-commerce, the Internet, new software programs. Capitalize on innovation rather than
being a victim of it!
5. Technological Differentiation
This age of modern technology affords many opportunities to advance our ways of operating and
communicating. These new modes of communication encompass a wide variety of options, from using
podcasts to update customers, or address customer-sensitive issues, to a blog that allows “voice” and interface
to “hear” from your customers that result in the advancement of your prospect understanding of updates,
changes and timely buying opportunities.
And technology is a key factor to excelling in today’s marketplace when studying the buying preferences of
Generation X and Y, which requires providing technologically-savvy ways to speed up the communications,
ordering, shipping and delivery processes. Get your best technological minds together to brainstorm how you
can make tech systems work to impress your prospects and customers with speed and convenience 24/7.
Cardinal rule: Make it EASY for the customer to communicate and buy.
6. Experiential Differentiation
48 Many people believe that we are in an “experience economy.” Can we provide customers with knock-yoursocks-off-service and experiences that are so memorable that they start telling their friends and colleagues?
Customer service miracles are anything you can do to make a customer say “Wow!”
When we make the experience so remarkable that they pass the word about how extraordinary we are, then
great things start to happen! Ask yourself, “How can I make doing business with me an irresistible
experience?”
7. Marketing Differentiation
Give careful thought to how you go to market. If you can outsell your competitors, you will gain market share.
Determine ways to create a distinction in your sales and marketing approaches that support setting you apart
in your marketplace. If your sales process is so compelling that your prospects see you and your offering as
irresistible, it renders your competitors “irrelevant”!
Remember, people will always pay for expertise and do business with those individuals they know, like and
trust! When trust is high, stress levels go down and vice versa, which is why high-pressure tactics really don’t
work anymore.
Today’s decision-maker is looking for solid alliances that can provide excellent value and extraordinary
personal service. When you’ve presented a prospective customer with a comprehensive, established set of
solutions, with the goal to create a profitable, stress free relationship, you are ahead of the game!
About Don Hutson: Don Hutson’s careers in speaking, management and sales have brought him many honors. He successfully worked his way through the University of Memphis, graduating with a degree in Sales. After becoming the #1 salesperson in a national training organization, he established his own training firm and shortly thereafter was in demand as a professional speaker. Today Don’s client list includes over two‐thirds of the Fortune 500 Companies, and he is featured in over 100 training films. He is Chairman & CEO of U.S. Learning and makes some 75 speaking appearances per year. Perhaps you have seen him on national television where he is regularly featured on both PBS and TSTN. Don is the author of nine books including The Sale and his latest best seller, #1 on Amazon.com, The One Minute Entrepreneur which he co‐authored with Ken Blanchard. Don is a member of the prestigious Speakers Roundtable. He was elected by his peers to the presidency of the National Speakers Association, and has received its coveted “Cavett Award,” as member of the year. He has also been inducted into NSA’s Speakers Hall of Fame. For more on Don visit www.donhutson.com 49 Networking Mixers: Break the Ice, Build Your Contacts, and Grow Your Business By Dr. Ivan Misner iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
Founder & Chairman of BNI, World’s largest business networking organization
Sr. Partner of the Referral Institute
New York Times Bestselling Author
Called the “Father of Modern Networking” by CNN
Do you suffer from “Butterfly‐itis” at the very mention of networking at business functions? If you answered yes, you are not alone! Many business people and entrepreneurs get a bit uncomfortable when it comes right down to walking up to someone and starting a conversation. Many others are concerned about getting effective results from the time they spend networking. The process doesn’t have to be traumatic, scary, or a waste of time. When done properly, it can truly make a difference in the amount of business your company generates. With the right approach, you can use it to build a wealth of resources and contacts that will help to make your business very successful. Making contacts that turn into relationships is the foundation of a prosperous word‐of‐mouth business. Neophyte networkers repeatedly ask me, “What can I do to meet more people and make better contacts at business mixers?” To answer this important question, I’ve put together what I call the “Ten Commandments of Networking” to help master those mixers. These rules work just as well for events like a Chamber of Commerce mixer as they do for a company open‐house party. The Ten Commandments of Networking a Mixer 1. Have your networking tools with you at all times. 2. Set a goal for the number of people you’ll meet. 3. Act like a host, not a guest. 4. Listen, and ask the five “W” questions: who, what, where, when, and why. 5. Give a lead or referral whenever possible. 6. Describe your product or service in sixty seconds. 7. Exchange business cards with the people you meet. 8. Spend ten minutes or less with each person you meet. 50 9. Write comments on the backs of the business cards you collect. 10. Follow up with the people you meet. Now, all of these commandments are predicated on the idea that you actually meet and talk to people at the event. So before we even get to them, it’s important to talk about how to do just that. Many times when entrepreneurs attend the ever‐popular networking mixer, they have a difficult time reading the crowd and knowing when and where to get started. Sometimes, that seems to be the biggest challenge for entrepreneurs in networking. They may say to themselves; “I don’t want to just barge in. Where do I start? Who do I talk to?” Being able to assess the room is an important beginning for the process. For example, look at Diagram A, below. Here is a top‐down view of a portion of the room during a business mixer. For the person entering the room (like the individual with the “?” in the bottom right corner – it’s hard to determine where to start in the networking process. With that in mind, consider this. The next time you are attending a networking mixer, take note of how people stand physically grouped together. You will find that people stand with their bodies clearly indicating whether or not they are open to having someone approach and join them or not. In other words, literally look for “open” vs. “closed” groups. What do I mean by open vs. closed groups? Compare the two diagrams below. You will note that in Diagram B the two people are standing parallel to one another with their shoulders squared off in a way that does not make it easy for anyone to enter the conversation. It is a Closed Two group. However, in Diagram C. you will note that the two parties are standing slightly askew which makes it easier for someone to join the conversation. This is an example of an Open Two. 51 B. C. In Diagram D below, you will see an example of a Closed Three group. In this illustration, you can see that they have closed the circle, thus indicating that they are having a more private conversation or are not interested in meeting someone else at that moment. This would NOT be the group to break into and introduce yourself. Sometimes the closed three’s do open for a time and then re‐close. As you watch the group, take the opportunity to come in the group during the times when they are physically open. This usually indicates the ebb and flow of conversation and lets you know that there is a break in the intensity of conversation or at least in the privacy of the conversation. On the other hand, look at Diagram E. In this illustration, you can clearly see that there is room for another person to join in the group. These are the configurations to look for in a group of people where the majority of them are business people you don’t know. The Open Three’s will stand with a slight break between two of them. D E The same principles apply with groups of four or more. When all participants are facing “in to” each other, leaving no opening for another, consider that a closed group. However, many groups of four or more will have a position open, with room for another one (or more) to join. That would be an open group. Being able to read a crowd, any size crowd, and gauge when to come into a group of two, three, or more people who are networking is an acquired skill. If you aren’t able to learn this concept, you might be destined to attend event after event and finally make the presumption that networking events aren’t a good way for you to make connections or develop new networking partners. 52 This couldn’t be further from the truth. You must put yourself out there into the mix for it to work. As I like to say, “Networking is a contact sport.” In order to make those connections, you need to successfully gauge the warmth of the smaller gatherings of people at the mixer. Below is Diagram A again. Take another look at it. Can you spot the open and closed groups? It’s amazing how the same diagram makes sense when you look at it from the perspective of open or closed groups. A Often people who attend the mixer together will stay grouped together for the entire event. As the event unfolds, however, they will open and close their grouping. I have seen this happening and watched as networkers who were savvy to this concept came into the grouping as it opened, met the attendees and then moved around the room meeting others, collecting business cards of future contacts for their successful networking efforts. Now that you understand the analogy of Open and Closed Three’s, let’s move on to my Ten Commandments of Networking a Mixer. After you master these, you will truly be ready to have an enjoyable and profitable meeting! Commandment # 1: Have Your Networking Tools With You at All Times The first commandment is to have with you at all times the tools you need to network. This is the foundation of all that follows. All successful business people (or what I call “Notable Networkers”) have the “tools of the trade.” These tools include an informative name badge, plenty of business cards, brochures about their business, and a pocket‐sized business‐card file that has the business cards of the professionals they refer. As an effective networker, you need to purchase a commercially‐made badge. This looks much more professional than the stick‐on, “Hello My Name Is” paper badges. Your badge needs to include both your name and your company’s name or your profession on it. As a rule of thumb, use your company’s name if it describes your profession. For example: John Anderson “READY‐FAST” 53 PRINT & COPY If your company’s name does not clearly describe your profession (as is the case with a consulting firm like Carlton, Donner, & Finch), write your profession on the badge: Mary S. Carlton ADVERTISING & MARKETING CONSULTANT Badges are now available that require only slipping your business card into the top and— voilà!— instant badge! These badges are unique because you are literally wearing your business card, logo and all. Make sure the print on your card is readable to people standing a few feet away. Many people recommend wearing your badge on the right side, because people shake right‐handed and the badge is easier to see. While this seems to makes sense, if you’re that close to someone, it doesn’t matter much. Always look for a profession on the badge. Knowing someone’s profession or company name makes it easier to start a dialogue, because you can ask about his or her business. Always carry plenty of business cards with you. I like to stash some in my wallet, briefcase, calendar, and car so that I’m never without them. I also keep a small metal cardholder in the coat pocket of each of my suits. Commandment # 2: Set a Goal for the Number of People You’ll Meet Some people go to a meeting with only one goal in mind: the time they plan to leave! To get the most out of a networking event, set a goal regarding the number of contacts you want to make or the number of business cards you want to collect. Don’t leave until you’ve met your goal. If you feel inspired, set a goal to meet fifteen to twenty people and make sure you get all their cards. If you don’t feel so hot, shoot for less. In either case, set a reachable goal based on the attendance and type of group. Commandment # 3: Act Like a Host, Not a Guest In her book Skills for Success, Dr. Adele Scheele tells about a cocktail party where she met someone who was hesitant to introduce himself to total strangers. Dr. Scheele suggested that he “consider a different scenario for the evening. That is, consider himself the party’s host instead of its guest.” She asked him, if he were the host, wouldn’t he introduce himself to people he didn’t know and then introduce them to each other? Wouldn’t he make sure people knew where the food and drinks were? Wouldn’t he watch for lulls in conversations, or bring new people over to an already‐formed small group? Scheele’s new acquaintance acknowledged the obvious difference between the active role of the host and the passive role of the guest. A host is expected to do things for others, while a guest sits back and relaxes. Scheele concluded, “there was nothing to stop this man from playing the role of host even though he wasn’t the actual host.” There is nothing to stop you from being far more active when you’re with a large group of people, either. A distinguishing characteristic of self‐made millionaires, according to Thomas Stanley, professor of marketing at Georgia State University, is that they network everywhere. Most important, they do it all the time — at business conferences, at 54 the health club, on the golf course, or with the person sitting next to them on a plane. This fact alone should motivate you to place yourself in situations where you can meet new people. Sit between strangers at business meetings or strike up a conversation with people at the spa. Make friends, even when you don’t need to. Commandment # 4: Listen, and Ask the Five “W” Questions; Who, What, Where, When, and Why Dale Carnegie advised, show genuine interest in the other person’s business. If I meet a printer, I ask, “What kind of printing do you specialize in? Commercial? Four‐color? Instant? Copying? Where are you located? How long have you been in business?” The answer to each of these questions gives me a better grasp of the individual and the type of work she does. Thus, I’m in a better position to refer her to others or invite her to different networking groups. Commandment # 5: Give a Referral Whenever Possible Notable Networkers believe in the “givers gain” philosophy. If you don’t genuinely attempt to help the people you meet, then you are not networking. You need to be creative in this area. Few of the people you meet for the first time at a business mixer are going to express a need for your product or service. That doesn’t mean you can’t give them something. If you can’t give people bona fide referrals, offer them some information that would be of interest to them. Tell them about a speaker’s bureau in their area that could help them get speaking engagements, tell them about another business mixer that’s coming up soon, or give them information about one of the networking organizations you belong to. Don’t be a “narcoleptic networker.” Stay awake, and take an active role in the networking groups you belong to. If you work hard at developing your skills, people will remember you in a positive way. In addition, you will ultimately expand your Contact Sphere, because, as we discussed earlier, many people who start out as Casual Contacts become Strong Contacts. The larger your network, the better your chances of reaching out and calling upon resources you wouldn’t have access to otherwise. Most important, with this growth comes increased visibility, exposure, opportunity, and success. Commandment # 6: Describe Your Product or Service After you’ve learned what other people do, make sure to tell them what you do. Be specific but brief; use “memory hooks” or basic explanations that they will retain after your brief encounter. Too often, people try to cover everything they do in one introduction. When you have the chance to be in front of the same group of folks regularly, don’t make the mistake most people make by painting with too broad a brush. Laser‐
sharp networking calls for you to be very specific and detailed about one thing at a time. Sometimes I hear businesspeople say they have a “full service” business. I think saying this alone is a mistake; full service doesn’t really mean anything to people who don’t understand the details of all the services you offer. Instead, talk about what you specialize in or what you're best known for. There's something that sets you apart from the competition…let others know about that aspect of your business. 55 Whatever you do, however, don’t assume people you meet for the first time will really know your business. Here is where you need to gauge the conversation, and explain your business in a little further detail to them if they seem interested. Commandment # 7: Exchange Business Cards With The People You Meet Ask the person you’ve just met for two of his cards, one to pass on to someone else and one to keep for yourself. This sets the stage for networking to happen. Keep your cards in one pocket and put other people’s cards in the other pocket. This way, you won’t be fumbling around trying to find your cards while accidentally giving somebody else’s card away. What do you do with business cards you collect from people you meet at networking events such as business forums, breakfasts, and mixers? These cards can be instrumental in helping you remember people, initiate follow‐ups, discover opportunities, and access information and resources. Always review the cards for pertinent information. It is not always easy to determine what people do simply from their title or company name. Note whether the products and services offered by the company are listed or summarized. If you’ve just received the card of an attorney, check to see whether the card indicates the attorney’s specialty. To demonstrate your interest, write the missing information you collect on the front of the card, in view of the other person. Commandment # 8: Spend Ten Minutes or Less With Each Person You Meet and Don’t Linger With Friends and Associates Recalling Commandment # 2, if your goal is to meet a given number of people, then you can’t spend too much time with any one person, no matter how interesting the conversation gets. Stay focused on making as many contacts as you can. When you meet people who are very interesting and with whom you want to spend more time, set up appointments with them. You can always meet later to continue the conversation. Don’t try to close business deals while you’re networking; it’s impractical. Set a date to meet and discuss your product or service in an environment more conducive to doing business. You may be able to increase your business with hot prospects if you take the time to fully understand their needs. Learn to leave conversations gracefully. Honesty is usually the best policy; tell them you need to connect with a few more people, sample the hors d’oeuvres, or get another drink. If you feel uncomfortable with that, exit like a host by introducing new acquaintances to someone you know. Better yet, if it seems appropriate, ask them to introduce you to people they know. Above all, don’t linger with friends and associates! These are people you already know, and you’re there to meet people you don’t know. I attended a mixer once where I saw several business friends stand and talk with one another for two hours. On their way out, one actually complained, “This was a waste of time. I didn’t get any business from it, did you?” No kidding. Commandment # 9: Write comments on the Backs of the Business Cards You Collect This helps you remember more about the person when you follow up the next day. I try to meet many people when I’m at a mixer. Two hours and twenty people later, I can’t always keep everyone straight. Therefore, I always carry a pen, 56 and when I’ve concluded a conversation with a new acquaintance, I step away and jot down notes, including the date and location of the event. This information is crucial for effective follow‐up and becomes more important the busier you are. I also write a note about what the person is seeking; for example: “…is looking for a good printer,” “…has friend moving out of the area and needs a real estate agent,” or (the most important one of all), “…wants to set an appointment with me; call on Tuesday!” If the individual doesn’t express a specific need, I may write down something about him or her that I learned from the conversation — things relating to his or her responsibilities, contacts, interests, or hobbies. For example: “…likes to back‐pack,” “…knows Joe Smith from L.A.,” or “…supervises ten employees.” Record anything you think may be useful in remembering the person more clearly. As you’ll see in Commandment # 10, the more information you have about the people you meet, the better your chances of a successful follow‐up. One important note however, some cultures (particularly Asian countries) find it bad form to write on their cards. Be aware of your cultural surroundings before following this suggestion. Commandment # 10: Follow up With The People You Meet I’ve seen people spend untold hours in networking organizations, yet fail at networking because their follow‐up was appalling. Remember, good follow‐up is the lifeblood of networking. You can obey the previous nine commandments religiously, but if you don’t follow up effectively, you’re wasting your time! If you promise to get back to people, make sure you do. Even if you don’t promise, call them or drop them a letter. If you follow up effectively, networking can be empowering. I highly suggest that you copy the list of commandments at the start of this article and keep it with you in your calendar, briefcase, or purse. The next time you go to a business mixer, review the list before you go inside. These commandments are part of the core of creating a positive message and delivering it effectively. Establishing a word‐of‐mouth based business requires getting out of your cave and getting belly to belly with other business professionals. The next time you have the opportunity to go to a gathering of this sort, use what you’ve learned here to break the ice and build your business! Special thanks to Martin & Gillian Lawson for their contributions to this article. About Ivan Misner: Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder & Chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization. BNI was founded in 1985. The organization now has over 5,000 chapters throughout every populated continent of the world. Last year alone, BNI generated 5.5 million referrals resulting in $2.2 billion dollars worth of 57 business for its members. Dr. Misner’s Ph.D. is from the University of Southern California. He has written ten books, including his New York Times Best sellers: Masters of Sales, Truth or Delusion? and Masters of Networking. He is a monthly columnist for Entrepreneur.com and is the Senior Partner for the Referral Institute – a referral training company with trainers around the world. In addition, he has taught business management and social capital courses at several universities throughout the United States and now sits on the Board of Trustees for the University of the Rockies. Called the “Father of Modern Networking” by CNN and the “Networking Guru” by Entrepreneur magazine, Dr. Misner is considered to be one of the world’s leading experts on business networking and has been a keynote speaker for major corporations and associations throughout the world. He has been featured in the L.A. Times, Wall Street Journal, and New York. Times, as well as numerous TV and radio shows including CNN, CNBC, and the BBC in London. Dr. Misner is the Founder of the BNI‐Misner Charitable Foundation and was recently named “Humanitarian of the Year” by a Southern California newspaper. He is married and lives with his wife Elisabeth and their three children in Claremont, CA. In his spare time!!! He is also an amateur magician and a black belt in karate. For more information visit www.bni.com
58 Deciding to Decide: How to Thrive in Chaos By Marsha Petrie Sue iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
MBA
CSP (Certified Speaking Professional)
Corporate Executive
Author of “Toxic People: decontaminating difficult people at work without using weapons or duct tape.”
“Today’s decisions are tomorrow’s realities.” - Anonymous
When was the last time you made a decision and didn’t receive the outcome you wanted? I believe
you always have three choices. You can Take it, Leave it or Change it, which I call the “TLC” of
decision-making. When you are stuck, stop, decide to decide and ask yourself the TLC of deciding to
decide. Making excuses and whining doesn’t allow you to take a fresh look at what you can control.
TLC does. It’s all about taking personal responsibility and being accountable for your actions.
Oh, I know. Life is hard and life is not fair. Look at it this way. You can rise above all the negative
chatter about not being able to control your boss, your company, your peers, your subordinates, your
job, your time and your projects, or you can choose to let your situation suck the life out of you. And
yes, it really is your choice.
Every situation gives you the opportunity to choose and control the outcome. I find it stunning that so
many professionals choose not to take personal responsibility for their outcomes. For many, pointing
fingers is easier. And then they wonder why they feel so out of control. This book will not only help
you make better choices, but it will also help you control the uncontrollable.
EXAMPLE: You are in a successful industry and are drawing a decent paycheck. The company has a
moderate level of growth, but is always looking for ways to cut corners and save money. Your
success has been OK and looking back, you know you have survived a few rough patches. You can
learn to control the uncontrollable by focusing on these questions and more.
59 •
•
•
Do you choose to broaden your scope and learn something new or are you stuck in intellectual
arrogance?
Do you know your real value in the industry or just within your company?
Are you prepared if the market changes, whether good or bad?
Don’t get sucked into trying to control elements of business that you can’t control. Think about the
situations you are faced with. What are you deciding to do? Are you trying to control the
uncontrollable? Here are the facts:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
If you have a toxic boss, you will never change them.
If a colleague is a jerk, you won’t get them to leave.
If you hate your job, doing nothing will not make it better.
If the youngsters coming into your workplace are different, you won’t get them to work the way
you do.
If you are fearful of anything, take a hard look at where the fear originates.
If you don’t make enough money, complaining will not increase your pay.
If you are overworked, taking a day off won’t reduce your workload.
If you have unpaid bills, borrowing more will not reduce your debt.
Take it:
Accept it for what it is and don’t let the issues throw you off balance or create stress. It is what it is
and in the moment, you know you need to do something but the situation won’t change right this
minute. You may decide to trigger your thinking into action by beginning to develop a plan to make
the future better and different. Right now, this very instant, however, you have decided to take it as it
is, and not complain to anyone about your circumstance. Because in reality, they really don’t care.
Choice: You’ve decided you don’t like your job. You are ticked off, fed up and are tempted to quit on the spot. Stepping back from the situation, you know that leaving right now is not a great idea, but is ultimately what you will do. You decide to make the best of it, not be part of the grapevine and not gossip. You will do your job to the best of your ability, including asking clarifying questions to stay on track. You start to make a plan so you know tomorrow will be better and different than today. Tomorrow might be a week, a month, a year or even years! Because you have decided to Take it, your assertiveness is stronger than ever and your
communications, both internal and external, are controlled. You are managing your stress and are not
going crazy over the situation. Perhaps you just don’t want to take the time right now to really tackle
the event and you have assured yourself that you will rehash the situation within three months.
Leave it:
You walk away from the situation and reject it totally. You know you have to do this to save your
sanity. Having had to quit a personal relationship, fire a friend or partner in your life, you
acknowledge that there will be some emotional pain and stress but ultimately you move yourself out
60 of the situation. This is the most difficult of all the choices because you are realigning into the
unknown and stretching your comfort zone.
Choice: You are beyond being able to rationally stay and are ready to leave skid marks and move on. Though it is high risk, you have done your planning and have a firm commitment from another employer. This position seems to be a better, but maybe not a perfect, fit. Your gut is telling you to jump, take risk and go for it. You step back from it all and ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” The answer is simple. If you don’t like this new position you can dive right back into the talent pool and start searching again. You feel good with your decision and have the confidence to jump ship.
You recognize that there is a risk to moving beyond where you are right now, but are ready to face
the fear of making the decision to jettison yourself to something totally new.
Change it:
Your boss and job are creating stress and unrest for you. The company is exactly where you want to
establish your career, but you are working with idiots. You decide to stay and make the best of it by
changing your approach. You read up on how to handle toxic people and toxic situations and after
analyzing the situation, have new approaches through your enhanced skills. In addition, you find an
internal mentor that will help you succeed and on their suggestion, you pay careful attention to the
press releases and grape vine to see if there are any new opportunities for you within the company.
Reviewing your education and knowledge bank, you decide to take a class that will give you tools to
help you fit into the company growth. In addition, you freshen up your resume, and are ready at a
moment’s notice when your dream position opens.
Choice: The housing industry has been good to Jessie. The upturns in the market had provided several years of sizeable commission checks because of the mortgages needed to support all the real estate sales. Because she understood the market, she knew that it was cyclical and that there could, and probably would be, a downturn. However, the money was great so Jessie decided to ride the wave as long as possible. She just couldn’t leave because the pay was too good! The woes of the nation’s housing market slapped Jessie in the pocketbook. The sudden cutbacks were unexpected and she was laid off with no warning. Her flexibility saved the day. She understood her talents, had an updated resume, and immediately applied to other viable businesses that were involved in the Real Estate market. The list was long and included franchise companies, law firms, healthcare facilities and more. In evaluating the people you go to lunch with, you decide that they are negative and promote some of
your unrest. You decide to tell them that your break time will be study time. Gradually you will be able
to choose new break buddies and create a more positive environment at work. You are comfortable
in your own skin and don’t worry what others will say about you.
61 How is your industry doing? Since the beginning of 2007, more than 40,000 workers have lost their
jobs at mortgage lending institutions, according to recent company layoff announcements and data
compiled by global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc. How many people working
in this industry even understood the cycle and planned for it? Not many.
Meanwhile, construction companies have announced nearly 20,000 job cuts this year, while the
National Association of Realtors expects membership rolls to decline this year for the first time in a
decade. If business is cyclical, why were so many people shocked?
If the writing on the wall started in January of 2007, why weren’t more people prepared to face
unemployment? It is your personal responsibility to prepare for the best and the worst-case
scenarios. The Reactor Factor is all about being prepared.
Many (in fact probably most) housing industry employees never planned for a downturn and thought
they could ride the wave of the fat paychecks forever. How do you or would you process this industry
downturn information?
My goal is to get you thinking about what you need to dig into and change. Your career does not have
to be a life sentence. You do not have to feel trapped and unfulfilled. The Reactor Factor gives you
renewed focus and strength to create the life and career you want. Write your answer after each
question. If you would like to receive this planning sheet by email, please email us at
[email protected]
1. How is your industry doing? Good or bad?
2. When was the last time you went on the web site and read company press releases?
3. Did you read the company’s Annual Report if your work for a public company?
4. Do you plan regular meetings with your leader to find out their perspective of the company and
of you?
5. Do you independently determine the skills needed to make you indispensible?
6. Are you constantly polishing your skills to be a better person and employee?
7. Do you hold yourself accountable for every decision, outcome, success and failure you have
on your job?
A large component of deciding to decide is beginning with information. And that means that the
choice of accepting and keeping a position is yours. No one held a gun to your head, well, unless you
are incarcerated perhaps. The decision to work in a particular industry or study in a particular field is
62 100% your choice. So if you make that choice to take a job, make the decision to make the best of it.
Your boss hired you to succeed, not to fail.
Like the housing, banking and the stock market, many industries are cyclical and every seven to ten
years there is a downturn. So why don’t most people plan for this day? Is it because of the money?
Is it laziness or greed? Are you caught in this trap?
Some people stay in jobs they hate and continue to work for jerks. Why? It is easier not to take
personal responsibility for their outcomes and to just stay and whine. They have no clue that they do
rule their world. They decide not to decide! How about you? Many people have tremendous fear of
changing. I believe this is because with fear comes blame and they don’t want to be blamed for
making a difficult or bad choice. The easy way out is to fall back on the coulda, woulda, shoulda
scenario.
Choice: Your boss, Jim, is a poor leader and always has been. As the tension in the company worsens because of an unstable economy, Jim’s communication to you and the team is at an all time low. You feel like you are floundering in turbulent seas and there is no one to rescue you. Projects are missing the deadlines and are typically over budget because of the lack of knowledge and information available to you. You are frustrated and hate walking into the portals of the company every morning. Take it: The situation is intolerable and continues to degrade. The good people are leaving because
of Jim’s terrible leadership and even his boss doesn’t know what to do with him. You plan to keep
your ear to the ground and know you will post for a new position within the company and move to
another area that seems to be more sane. You have promised yourself to keep your focus on your job
and not get tied up in all the office chatter. You choose to take it and just do your job.
Leave it: You are ready to quit and have an updated resume. You’ve used a recent template from the
Internet; visited sites like Jobing.com and Monster.com and have determined where your skills are
best positioned. Leaving the industry is OK and you have already given yourself permission to move
beyond your comfort zone. You decide to hand in your resignation.
Change it: You stretch your flexibility to manage the situation you are in. The market is tight and you
are having a hard time convincing yourself to leave. Locating a download audio file on dealing with
difficult people through a Google search will give you fresh approaches with Jim. You decide to
change the situation by polishing your communications and your capability to deal with difficult
people. You know that you must do everything to resolve the position you are in. You pledge to
yourself to be resilient and to take a new stance for yourself. You hone your listening skills and pay
attention to every piece of information without adding the emotion at hand.
Life is great. But without bad times, we wouldn’t know the difference.
Kermit the Frog – Before You Leap
After you decide which choice you will make, you step back and ask yourself this question: “So what’s
my plan?” This is where the action starts. The strategy for each of the three choices, the TLC’s, is
63 where you decide what you will do now that the decision is made. Deciding to take it can create
stress and mental havoc; leaving it means you are in a tentative job market; changing it is probably
the soundest choice right now. My humble opinion.
Deciding to decide is not a spectator sport. It is like setting a goal or making a New Year’s Resolution,
then stepping back and waiting for it to happen. I’ve done it and you’ve done it. At the end of the year
you look back at those resolutions and nothing has changed. It seems crazy to say, but I will anyway:
when you decide to decide, you also have to decide to take action.
About Marsha Petrie Sue: As a professional speaker and bestselling author, Marsha Petrie Sue is the Mohammed Ali of
communicators. She can dance, look pretty and she uses the entire ring, but she knows how and when to land a knockout
punch. Get the smelling salts! Her presentations are charm school with live ammunition. Her #1 best seller Toxic People:
dealing with difficult people in the workplace without using weapons or duct tape has been featured in the Wall Street
Journal, New York Times, Cosmo, Investors Business Digest, Christian Science Monitor, Legal Management, WorkWise,
Reuters and more. Whether you are stuck in a rut, need to get motivated, or have been laid off, Marsha Petrie Sue gives
you real world techniques and strategies that will maximize your success. Need an attitude adjustment? As a former
Corporate Executive, Marsha understands the issues and concerns you have and knows that solid content and humor are
the magical components. Professional development, leadership, personal accountability, managing change and
communication skills are all part of her message. Marsha is known as the Accountability Master because she shares quick
and easy techniques that help you instantly change any situation, whether professional or personal. Got conflict? She has
also been called “The Muhammad Ali of Toxic People” because she can dance and look pretty, and uses the entire ring,
but she knows how and when to land a knockout punch. Tired of working with Spoiled Brats? Her information helps you
maneuver through the maze of Boomers, Generation X and Generation Y. Think of her information as charm school with
live ammunition. Marsha challenges every morsel of your beliefs while entertaining and enlightening. She works with
people all over the world by providing live presentations, newsletters, webinars, resources and coaching to people, just like
you, that are looking to get out of rut and quickly achieve their dreams and goals. Her latest book Toxic People:
decontaminating difficult people at work without using weapons or duct tape, is a best seller. She has been featured in the
New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Newsweek On-Line, Reuters, Investors Business Digest, Cosmo, Legal
Management, Well Fargo Business Advisor, The Business Journal and others. She is also the author of several other
resources including the award winning CEO of YOU: Leading YOURSELF to Success. Marsha is the recipient of the
Certified Speaking Professional designation from the International Federation for Professional Speakers that is held by
less than ten percent of the professional speakers.
Web site: www.MarshaPetrieSue.com
Blog: www.DecontaminateToxicPeople.com
Email: [email protected]
.
The Power of the Human Spirit By Bill Bartmann 64 iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
“Billionaire Business Coach”
National Entrepreneur of the Year by NASDAQ, USA Today
Awarded permanent place in Smithsonian Institutes Museum of American History
American Academy of Achievement’s Golden Plate award
Not to toot my own horn, but I am really the poster child for turning failure into success. In fact, I’ve
done it many times. Sometimes I wish that I didn’t have to fail just to succeed, but we truly do learn
from our failures.
One of my failures landed me in a hospital paralyzed from the waist down, but in that circumstance I
learned that a promise made to oneself can be more powerful than a goal. We, as humans, tend to
keep our promises because we consider them important; we’ve given our word. But, we often don’t
mind giving up on a goal.
I was seventeen years old and in a drunken stupor when I fell down a flight of stairs. I crushed two
vertebrae, ruptured a disc, and severely injured my spinal cord. I spent the next six months in the
hospital in traction.
One day my parents, Dr. Moberly – our family doctor, and our parish priest, Monsignor Sigwarth,
visited me in the hospital. The mere fact that all of them arrived together told me something significant
was about to happen. Dr. Moberly proceeded to tell a very frightened seventeen-year-old kid that the
x-rays confirmed the damage done to my spine and my spinal cord. He went on to say that the
paralysis was permanent and I would never walk again. To which Monsignor Sigwarth responded that
if this were God’s will, I needed to accept it.
To this day, I cannot explain the reason for – or the source of – my reaction to this news. I think a
normal reaction to news of this nature would be somewhere between the sobbing acceptance of “woe
is me” to a sorrowful “why me?” My reaction, however, was a violent rejection of the whole idea that I
would never walk again. Although the term “denial” was not yet in the medical lexicon of the 1960s, I
was about to give it real meaning.
I yelled at the top of my lungs that they were wrong, that I would not be a cripple, and that I would
walk again. I refused to listen to their protests that I was being too loud and disturbing other patients. I
continued to yell through my tears, “I’ll show you!” I created such a scene they had to sedate me to
quiet me down.
65 When I woke up several hours later, my room was dark, and I was alone. It was in that dark hospital
room that I, for the first time in my life, made a promise to myself. In spite of everything Dr. Moberly
had told me about my physical condition and the injury I had sustained, I promised myself that I was
going to walk out of that hospital under my own power.
The next morning, I threw myself into the physical therapy routine with a newfound source of strength
and resolve. Up to that point, physical therapy had consisted of some nurse’s aide releasing the
tension on my traction device, and rubbing my legs, ankles, and feet in an effort to improve blood
circulation.
My new, self-created therapy involved attempting to wiggle my toes by using sheer will power. I would
take the blanket off my feet, sit up in bed, and while staring at my toes, I would concentrate every
drop of energy in my body to get my toes to wiggle. I concentrated so hard that my face would turn
red, veins would bulge on the side of my head, and I would break into a sweat. I would do this
exercise as long as I could hold my concentration or my breath, and would do this over and over, all
day long.
When the nurses noticed what I was doing they tried to encourage me to stop. When I didn’t, they told
Dr. Moberly who then gave me strict instructions to quit, as he was concerned I was holding out hope
when, as he termed it, my situation was hopeless. He was afraid I was creating a false expectation
and that I should accept the situation for what it was. He told me that I was wasting my time, these
exercises were draining my energy, and that if I continued I would prolong my recovery period.
I assured Dr. Moberly that I would discontinue the exercise, knowing that I was going to continue
when no one was watching. I began doing the exercises at night, when the nurses thought I was
sleeping, and I slept during the day.
Two weeks after beginning this exercise program, my toes finally wiggled! I couldn’t believe it, so I
made them wiggle again. Immediately I pushed the nurse’s call button; I was so excited I wanted
someone else to confirm what I was seeing. The first nurse that came to my room was excited as I
was, and she called Dr. Moberly to share the news.
A couple of hours and a few hundred toe wiggles later, he finally showed up. Like a little kid who had
just learned how to tie his own shoes or ride a bike, I wanted to show him what I could do. Dr.
Moberly’s reaction wasn’t what I had expected. He was very cautious and reserved. He said there
was no sound medical explanation for the controllable movement he was observing in my toes. He
went on to say that even with this movement I would never regain the ability to walk. He then pulled
out a little spur on a stick device and ran it down my legs. Though I could move my toes, I still had no
feeling in my calves or thighs.
For the second time since I entered the hospital, I cried. In a few short minutes, my emotional
pendulum had swung from one extreme of ecstasy to the other extreme of depression. I thought that I
had accomplished some marvelous feat. However, I was a seventeen-year-old high school dropout.
Dr. Moberly was a fifty-year-old man with twenty-five years of formal education and twenty years of
medical practice. Who was I to challenge his opinion?
I laid there feeling sorry for myself and on the verge of accepting life as a paraplegic, and then
remembered the promise I made to myself two weeks earlier. Every drop of medical science, every
66 opinion of the medical staff, and every test proved the damage to my spinal cord was irreversible.
Spinal cords simply don’t heal themselves after a significant trauma.
I began to imagine a scale, like the one Lady Justice holds in her uplifted hand. On one side I saw all
the evidence and every compelling argument as to why I should be paralyzed. On the other side was
my promise to myself, sitting alone. As I visualized this imaginary scale, I noticed that the two sides
were perfectly balanced, with both sides of the scale at the midway point.
At that instant, the epiphany occurred. It was then and there that I realized my promise to myself was
just as important as a mountain of medical evidence. At that moment, I learned that outcomes are not
always determined by knowledge or education or the capacity to perform logical analysis. Instead,
sometimes outcomes are determined by the strength of a person’s belief system.
That night I resumed, with a newfound passion, the exercises that had allowed my toes to wiggle.
Only this time, instead of just concentrating on my toes, I needed to work on my legs. I would reach
for farthest end of the bedside railings and pull with all my arm strength until I got my body to slide
toward the foot of my bed. When my feet rested against the railing at the foot of my bed, I would
continue to pull forcing my knees to bend upward. I then concentrated on pushing myself back to my
starting position in the bed by straightening my legs. As I had done with my toes, I would concentrate
on the muscles that I thought were involved with straightening my legs. I would concentrate as hard
as I could for as long as I could, until I was exhausted. I would take a break and then resume my
regimen.
By the middle of the third week, I could actually feel my feet pressing against the foot rail. I couldn’t
get the muscles to begin straightening my legs enough to push my body back up to the top of the
bed, but at least I was making real progress. Each day when Dr. Moberly made his rounds, he would
stop in and spend a few minutes looking at my chart. He would ask how I was doing, and I would
always say, “I’m doing fine, Doc. I am going to walk out of this hospital.” He would smile his benign
smile as if to say, “Sure you are – right about the time pigs fly.” I never shared with him any of the
progress I was making. I didn’t tell him I had regained feeling in the bottom of my feet. He had
discontinued doing the test with the spur-on-a-stick device, as I am sure he thought there was no
point.
The rest of my recovery happened at a much faster pace. Within a few days of regaining feeling in my
feet, I started to be able to straighten my knees and push my body back toward the head of my bed. I
continued to keep my progress a secret because I had made up my mind I wasn’t going to tell anyone
until I could walk on my own power. I had been totally deflated by Dr. Moberly when he dismissed my
toe wiggling, and I was not going to let that happen again.
By the end of the third week, I was ready to attempt getting out of bed and standing up under my own
power. That day, I practiced my leg pushes every time I was alone in my room. I was getting good
enough at the drill that I could pull myself down toward the foot of the bed and then immediately push
myself back again with my legs. I also was able to lift my legs and knees up to my chest while lying
on my back. The only thing left to do was slide my legs off the side of the bed and attempt to stand up
while holding on to the bed. I waited until the nurse made her last visit of the night and had turned off
the light in my room. I pulled the blanket off my legs and slid them off the side of the bed. I sat on the
edge of the bed with my bare feet solidly on the floor for what seemed like an eternity. I didn’t want to
67 rush because I knew if it didn’t work and I fell, I would never be able to get myself back into bed
without the nurses finding out what I had tried to do.
When I was sure I was ready, I slowly started to stand up, all the while holding onto the bed rail with
both hands. I was amazed at how much my legs had atrophied in the five months I had been in the
hospital. It seemed that both thighs had lost half of their muscle mass, and as I stood there with my
legs trembling, I realized that they had also lost much of their strength. After standing at the side of
my bed for what was probably only a few seconds, I had to quickly sit back down on the edge of the
bed. I rested a few minutes and repeated the process. Each time, I was able to stand at the edge of
the bed for a little longer than the previous time. After a couple dozen efforts, I had to lay back in bed
and rest. This little bit of exercise had completely worn me out. As exhausted as I had become, I also
knew that I had yet to take a step under my own power. I did not want to wait until the next night to try
again, so I slid my legs over the side of the bed and this time, stood up only holding on to the rail with
one hand. I took a deep breath, and in a stiff-legged motion, I slid my right foot forward. I then shifted
my weight from my left leg to my right leg and slowly slid my left leg forward. I was now far enough
from the bed that I could only take the next step if I released my grip of the railing. I let go and stood
there; alone and in what seemed like a foreign place. I was no longer connected to the bed to which I
had been attached for over five months. The overhead lights in the hospital room had been turned off
and the only light came from a small night-light. The shadows created by the night-light gave the
room an eerie feeling. Contributing to the eeriness was the fact that I was standing on my own two
feet – something I had not done for five full months!
The moment of truth was at hand. The next step was going to take me far enough away from the bed
that I would not be able to reach the handrail. I slowly moved my foot forward with a stiff-kneed
motion, shifted my weight, and then slid the other foot forward. I had done it! I had walked on my own
power.
I WAS NOW ONLY A COUPLE OF TASKS AWAY FROM KEEPING THE PROMISE I MADE TO
MYSELF.
The first thing I had to do was show Dr. Moberly what I could do; his negative attitude had been my
positive motivation. The second thing I had to do was to actually walk out of the hospital on my own
power.
I knew I wasn’t going to get the opportunity to do the second thing for at least a few more days, or
even weeks, but there was nothing stopping me from doing the first thing. Even though it was now
past midnight, I shuffled back to the side of the bed, and reached for the nurse’s call button. I knew it
would take a minute or two for one of the nurses to come to my room. I then turned around and
shuffled away from the bed and toward the door. When I got halfway between the bed and the door, I
stood and waited for the nurse to arrive. The nurse entered my room at a fast pace. She was coming
from a well-lit hallway and was entering a dimly lit room. Her eyes had not adjusted to the darkness
as she entered, and a few feet in front of her was standing a person in an open-backed hospital
gown. The sudden appearance of a person standing in the middle of a dark room where the only
occupant is supposed to be a bedridden paraplegic caused her to let out a scream. I hadn’t intended
to frighten the nurse, but in hindsight, I can see how frightening it must have been for her.
68 As her eyes adjusted further she recognized it was me, and the look on her face changed rapidly from
fear to befuddlement. While she was regaining her composure and attempting to formulate the right
question, chaos was breaking out down the hall. Other nurses working at the nurse’s station knew
she had gone to a patient’s room in response to a call signal, and they heard her scream. The nurses,
sensing an unspecified emergency, hit the “panic” button at the nurse’s station, which immediately
notified the floor supervisor and hospital security. The nurses quickly ran to my room to assist their
coworker. At the same time, patients who had been sound asleep heard the nurse’s scream and were
now sticking their heads out their room doors to see what had happened.
While in bed all these months, an “open-backed” hospital gown seemed like a pretty good idea. Now
that I was standing in the middle of a room that was rapidly filling up with nurses and security staff, it
seemed a bit revealing. With one hand behind my back attempting to hold the flaps of my gown
together, and while standing on exhausted and trembling legs, I now found myself facing a group of
professionals who were trained to react to almost any conceivable situation, yet now they stood
frozen in their tracks. The nurses in the room were all familiar with my case. I had been on that
particular floor long enough that all of them had, on one occasion or another, tended to my care. I
could see the confusion and conflict in their eyes. The first reaction of a nurse is to get the patient
back into the safety and security of his bed – yet in my case they couldn’t figure out how it was that I
happened to be out of bed, standing in the middle of the room, and the further conflict of, “If he suffers
from paralysis, isn’t it a good thing that he is standing in the middle of the room?”
Two weeks later, I walked out of the hospital on my own power!
The power of the human spirit is immeasurable. This may sound corny, but what we believe we CAN
achieve! I made a promise to myself, and I wasn’t going to let ME down. No matter what it took, I was
going to walk again.
“Promises Are More Powerful Than Goals!”
About Bill Bartmann: Homeless at age 14, a member of a street gang and a high-school dropout - Bill took control of
his life by taking the GED exam and putting himself through college and law school. At the request of a bank, he took over
a foreclosed oil-field pipe manufacturing plant and turned it into a million dollar a month business, until OPEC slashed the
price of oil - leaving Bill out of business and a million dollars in debt. Refusing to give up, Bill and his wife & business
partner, Kathy, borrowed $13,000 and created a new industry - Debt Resolution. Three years later, they had repaid the
entire million dollar debt. Over the next 13 years, they grew the company to 3,900 employees with revenues in excess of
$1 billion and earnings in excess of $182 million. There they pioneered novel financial instruments still utilized today on
Wall Street. They also implemented unheard of perks and benefits for their employees, such as salaries at two times the
industry standard, free health care, free on-site daycare, 250% 401k matching program and legendary company trips
where they took ALL of the employees and their spouses on annual trips to the Bahamas, Las Vegas and Ocean Cruises.
One year they leased twenty-seven 747 jets so they could fly 6,000 employees and spouses to Disney World. Bill and
Kathy have individually graced the covers of national business magazines: Kathy on the cover of Forbes, and Bill on the
cover of Inc. They were listed individually on the Forbes 400 Wealthiest People in America list. One national magazine
ranked them number 25. In 1998, tragedy struck when Bill's former business partner committed fraud and sent the
69 company into bankruptcy. Although Bill's former business partner told the prosecutors that he had acted without Bill's
knowledge, admitted his guilt and was sent to prison, the US Attorney General, John Ashcroft, in the post-Enron business
environment, indicted Bill. Five years later, after a 2 month long trial where the government called 53 witnesses and
produced over 1,000 exhibits, Bill rested his case without calling a single witness or producing a single exhibit. The jury
unanimously acquitted Bill on all counts. Ironically, 17 months after his acquittal and six and a half years after his
company was liquidated, the Federal Bankruptcy Trustee issued his report which publicly acknowledged for the first time,
"CFS was not a fraud". This experience would have embittered most people, but not Bill. He now travels the country,
sharing his story of how he created his success and how he dealt with his challenges. Bill has been credited with
singlehandedly changing and reforming the collection industry in America. His new mission, just as ambitious, is to
"reverse the business failure rate in America". Bill is already on his way to accomplishing what has been called an
impossible task. You, too, can be part of this exciting movement – a movement that will transform the face of America and
improve the lives of millions of people!
70 Freeway of Life By Brian Tracy iLearningGlobal Faculty Member
Professional Speaker and Trainer
Best Selling Author
Founder of Brian Tracy International
I have some good news for you. More people are going to make more money in the months and
years ahead than have ever been made in all of human history, and your job is to fully participate in
what economists are beginning to call the Golden Age of Mankind. What we know is that world
income is going up at a faster rate today than ever before. More people are becoming millionaires
and billionaires starting from nothing than has ever been possible in human history and it is possible
for you as well.
Now I have a question for you. Would you like to double your income? Now, whenever I ask this
question, everybody says yes. I have got some good news for you. Everybody is going to double
their income if you live long enough. The average income in America or the world goes up at about
three percent per annum, so, with compound interest, if you live and work for another 22 years you
will double your income. Is that what you had in mind? Of course not! You want to double your
income much faster.
That brings me to a little story that illustrates why continuous learning is really the key to putting
yourself onto the fast track in life. What I want you to do is I want you to imagine a graph and one
axis you have the income and on the other axis you have time. This graph explains success or failure
through your life. Some people earn $10,000 a year and some 20, and 30, and 50, and 100, and so
on.
The first step is to recognize, or discover, that where you are on the income graph is where you have
decided to be. It is almost like you went into a restaurant and the waiter bought you a menu and you
said, well, I think I will order the $50,000 a year or the $75,000 or the $150,000 a year income. What
you ordered is what you get. The fact is, that you are earning today the exact amount of money that
you have decided to earn, no more and no less. If you want to increase your money and your income
you have to make a decision to earn more.
71 The fact is that your actions and your inactions have brought you to where you are today and it could
be no other. If you want to increase your income you have to do something different from what you
have been doing. This brings us to the lower part of the graph, which is the graph of time, and
represents the years of your life. What most people do over the course of their lifetime is they start
off earning something. Then the average person’s life is like a bad month on the NASDAQ. They
make a little, they make a lot, they make a little, they make a lot, they are in the money, they are out
of the money, they are in the money, and they are out of the money. Over the course of the average
person’s working lifetime, they will increase their income at about three percent per year. And they
never get ahead because the cost of living goes up at the same rate.
It is very much as if you were driving along and you got off the main road and onto a dirt road. Most
people are on the farm roads of life. They are lost and have no road maps or road signs. If you are
lost on the farm roads of life, even if you are driving a brand new Mercedes Benz, you will never
make any progress. You will go east, you will go west, you will go north, you will go south, but you
will never get anywhere, you will never do better than three percent per year.
You have incredible intelligence, you have more potential than you could use in 100 lifetimes. So let
us say you have been driving on the back roads of life for a long time and you are talking to your
navigator and you say, “honey, this is a lousy way to live, we always have too much month at the end
of the money. There must be something better than this, but I don’t know what we can do.”
And she says, “Well, you know, every so often through the trees over there I see a freeway. If we
could just get onto that freeway, there are cars whipping along that freeway, we could make a lot of
progress toward our goals.”
So what do you do? You make a decision to get onto the Freeway of Life. Now you may find it is
difficult at first as you work your way across country to get onto the freeway. But once you are there
you can put your pedal to the metal and really start to make a lot of progress. This freeway is where
you will acquire knowledge and skill.
Top achievers increase their income by 10 to 25 percent per year. As your income increases at 25
percent you will double your income every two years and seven months. Now what do you do after
you have doubled your income? You do it again.
Here’s a wonderful thing about the Freeway of Life, the Freeway of Life is like the Autobahn. Now
what do we know about the Autobahn in Germany? The first thing that people think about is; no
speed limits. It is the same on the Freeway of Life. As you start to learn and get better and better
moving towards your goals, you can go faster and faster and there are no speed limits. This is quite
incredible. That is why you see people go from rags to riches to in a couple of years because there
are no speed limits on the Autobahn of life. So your great goal in life is to get onto the Autobahn.
What you do and how you do that is you begin to learn and grow and get better and better. Now here
is an interesting point, a genius driving a Mercedes Benz on the back roads of life will never make
any progress. But an average person with an average education with maybe a limited background or
skills, driving a rusted out old jalopy, belching smoke with the wheels falling off on the Freeway of Life
72 will make greater progress than a genius on the back roads. This is why every so often you see a
person who does not seem to have any talent or capability or skills who is doing fantastically well in
life.
There is nothing that will make you angrier than to see somebody who is dumber than you who is
making more money than you. And why are they making more money? It is because they are on the
fast track and there is only one way in the 21st century for you to get onto the fast track of life and
that is through knowledge and skill.
So do something daily to increase your learning and your earning. Top achievers do two critical
things… First, they voraciously seek out the best knowledge, education and training available. And
second, they surround themselves with the best mentors and the most successful people they know.
This drive to acquire new ways to think and to act is what propels these entrepreneurs, innovators
and peak performers to become the best at what they do. These people look at knowledge, training
and skill development as a continual process rather than as an event. They realize that if they get
complacent or comfortable with their current skill set or knowledge level they will lose their
competitive edge. The future is yours for the taking… What are you going to do today to make
yourself more valuable and to get what you want out of life?
About Brian: Brian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company specializing in the training and
development of individuals and organizations. Brian's goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster
and easier than you ever imagined. Brian Tracy has consulted for more than 1,000 companies and addressed more than
4,000,000 people in 4,000 talks and seminars throughout the US, Canada and 40 other countries worldwide. As a
Keynote speaker and seminar leader, he addresses more than 250,000 people each year. He has studied, researched,
written and spoken for 30 years in the fields of economics, history, business, philosophy and psychology. He is the top
selling author of over 45 books that have been translated into dozens of languages. He has written and produced more
than 300 audio and video learning programs, including the worldwide, best-selling Psychology of Achievement, which has
been translated into more than 20 languages. He speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal
and Professional Development, including the executives and staff of many of America's largest corporations. His exciting
talks and seminars on Leadership, Selling, Self-Esteem, Goals, Strategy, Creativity and Success Psychology bring about
immediate changes and long-term results. Prior to founding his company, Brian Tracy International, Brian was the Chief
Operating Officer of a $265 million dollar development company. He has had successful careers in sales and marketing,
investments, real estate development and syndication, importation, distribution and management consulting. He has
conducted high level consulting assignments with several billion-dollar plus corporations in strategic planning and
organizational development. He has traveled and worked in over 80 countries on six continents, and speaks four
languages. Brian is happily married and has four children. He is active in community and national affairs, and is the
President of three companies headquartered in Solana Beach, California. Brian is also the President of Brian Tracy
University, a private on-line University for sales and entrepreneurship. For more information visit www.BrianTracy.com