Table of Contents - Party Favors by Favor Affair

Table of Contents
Introduction ............................................................................................................3
The Importance of Reunions ...................................................................................3
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Keeping Up With The Times ....................................................................................4
Staying On Schedule ...............................................................................................6
Get The Word Out ..................................................................................................8
Tips For First Timers ........................................................................................8
Playing Family Detective .......................................................................................10
Documenting History ............................................................................................10
How To Choose A Reunion Theme ........................................................................11
Setting The Date ...................................................................................................13
Handling Registration............................................................................................14
Choosing A Location..............................................................................................15
Activities ...............................................................................................................17
Souvenirs and Gifts ...............................................................................................20
Avoiding Planning Pitfalls ......................................................................................24
Financing The Fun .................................................................................................25
Tips For Collecting The Money ..............................................................................27
Beyond The Reunion (How Reunions Give Back)...................................................27
Closing Out The Reunion .......................................................................................28
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Family reunions are an important way to keep the ties that bind. Especially in our busy, hectic, fastpaced world, it’s nice to be able to slow the pace down a bit and gather together with family. Whether
you’re seeing relatives you haven’t seen in a while or discovering some new ones, family reunions help
keep you close. Most would agree with Michelle Deitel, who feels that “family reunions are important
because you never know when the last time will be that you can have everyone in one place together!
They are priceless!”
The Importance of Reunions
Not just about fun and games, family reunions help keep our family roots strong. We connect with
people on a deeper level of kinship that often times doesn’t happen any other way. Experiencing the
connection first hand, Curt Peterson of Curt Peterson Real Estate shares, "There is a genetic bond
among people directly related. People who might otherwise never visit with each other find that they
have mutual interests—and actually like each other. Although I had spent time with my first cousin
when I was a small child, I don’t remember it. This summer I "met him for the first time" at the reunion.
I’m sixty-seven, and he’s eighty-one. Without the reunion, that would never happen.” Bringing people
together to “meet again for the first time” is the wonderful thing about reunions.
Family reunions also build appreciation for the family and its struggles. Giving family members a unique
opportunity to “find out who came before you, where they came from, and what they came through”
makes reunions important, says Tangela Walker-Craft. Sometimes that walk down memory lane can
make younger generations more appreciative of their elders’ journey and maybe even learn something
in the process, which is a huge benefit of family reunions. Almost as important as what people say
about you is what people will remember about you. At the reunion, people have a wonderful
opportunity to share stories and family history. Even family members who have passed on are still
“alive and well” in their family’s memories. “Family reunions are living legacies that keep us in touch
with our family history so that we can pass it on to our children,” says Marci Seither, who has had a
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nontraditional camping reunion for the past 40 years where they’ve had their share of family stories
around the campfire.
Now, let’s hear from the experts. Dr.
Julia Simens, Clinical Psychologist in
Child, Adolescent and Family Therapy
suggests that family reunion’s
popularity stems from the need for
family rituals. She says that rituals, like
family reunions, provide a sense of
security and can be soothing. She has
worked with many families that “want
to start building closer family time, and
one key way to do this is to have family
reunions. For many people having a
structured event allows them the
ability to connect to others easier” than
making that awkward phone call if you
haven’t met or spoke in years. Having these events (or creating rituals) also builds resilience. Simens
explains that “as a parent, you cannot help your child learn to be resilient unless you let them take
responsibility of their own growth process. Learning from your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins
is vital for your children to develop this resistance. It is one way to make sure they understand the
importance of family connections.”
Wow! Who knew reunions had that great of an impact on society, interpersonal relations and youngadult development? No matter what your reason for celebrating with a reunion, you’ll find it beneficial.
So let’s get started planning yours!
Keeping Up With The Times
When you think of reunions, you’re likely to think of big barbecues or picnics and games that bring
everyone together for some much-needed face time. But over the years, technology has changed that a
bit. Rather than waiting all year long (or even two years) to connect with family, relatives can connect
online anytime via Facebook pages, family websites, conference calls, online photo albums, emails
newsletters, video chats and more. With these capabilities, some wonder whether the reunion
gathering will become a thing of the past. Although they are changing the way families stay in touch,
these methods—no matter how accessible and affordable—won’t replace a good old-fashioned reunion.
There’s just something about coming together that makes the reunion special. But, they are wonderful
tools to help families stay connected in between those times.
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Michael Noriega and his family have seen the impact of technology on their family connections, and
they welcome the changes—albeit gradual—to their reunion planning. Through it all, they have been
and remain a close-knit family and look to new technology to keep it that way. He says, “I grew up in a
farming area of Minnesota and everyone in the county was related somehow...by blood or marriage.
The family was made up of recent immigrants most of whom had received land grants when Minnesota
was being settled. Many people came from the same parts of Norway and often got together to talk the
"old talk" and keep up with news, rumors, etc. As a child, I remember frequent gatherings for many
reasons...weddings, christenings, etc. Also, the farmers have a tradition of helping each other by
staggering their planting and harvesting. Many farmers from around would go to one farm and do all of
the planting, move on to another farm and repeat this until everyone's crops were in. Then at harvest
time they would repeat the same. Everyone would help with baling, etc. While the men were in the
fields, the women were cooking lunch for everyone or helping to can fruits and vegetables that had
been picked from the fields or garden. The older children helped whoever needed it and helped watch
the youngest ones. This tradition soon translated to family reunions. As these grew, we began to reserve
city parks or farms that had enough room for parking and a large enough building for the gathering.
Each family created and maintained
a family book of photographs and
family history. Many of these books
are still being maintained after 150
years. The curator of the book
would bring it to each reunion to
introduce the older generations to
the youngsters. All of this helped
cement the bonds between us all.
My siblings and I get together no
less than every two years. We are
not always able to get together all at
one time, so my son set up a private
website that he calls the "Family
Forum" in which we can chat, share
pictures, share amusing videos we
found, share family news, etc.
Before email, we would each make a
second copy of whatever pictures
we had taken, put them in an album, label them with an explanation of the picture and send it to the
missing person. We still often do this with our disabled sister so she can share in the event. Otherwise,
we now share pictures on the Family Forum. We currently have four generations of the family using the
Family Forum.”
What a beautiful story of the family bond they share and how they’ve been able to transition from their
family’s humble beginnings into a techno-family using all the latest technological tools available to stay
connected. Their story should inspire us all to do the same.
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Staying on Schedule: Planning
Timetable
Many of the decisions you’ll need to make will revolve around the
guests—who they are, how many, what they like, etc. In light of that, it’s
best to get a ballpark number on the guests as soon as possible
(especially if this is your first reunion). This can be done by sending out a
survey, randomly querying family members or talking with the committee
that organized the previous reunion. Armed with vital information like
the number of guests attending, their age ranges, activity preferences,
etc., you’ll be better prepared to set the date, choose the venue, find a
hotel, coordinate transportation and consider activities.
Whew! That sounds like a lot of details to take care of, doesn’t it? Admittedly, there is a lot to do, but
be encouraged—it can be done! Many reunion planners find that setting deadlines helps them stay on
track. This handy reunion planning timetable from ReunionsMag.com will give you an idea of what
needs to be done and when:
24-18 months before your reunion...
Determine interest
Talk to other reunion organizers
Attend a reunion organizing class, workshop or conference
Start mailing list
Form reunion committee(s) and establish responsibilities and schedules
Keep records of everything
Develop budget and bookkeeping system
Scout locations, facilities
o Contact convention and visitors or tourism bureaus
o Query hotels for pricing and availability
One year before...
o
o
o
o
o
o
o
Set dates
Choose location/venue/hotel
Select the theme for the reunion
Send first mailer with tentative reunion schedule and plans (tours, souvenirs, activities,
etc.), theme, and approximate cost
Begin souvenir directory/list of attendees, memory book
Arrange or hire entertainment, caterer, photographer, videographer, printer
Hire a motor coach or other transportation
6-9 months before ...
6
o
o
Send second mailer; include registration and souvenir order forms and cost
Send announcement to Reunions magazine for extra exposure
Send reunion name, date, place and contact info to
[email protected].
o
o
Schedule events and activities —program, speakers, awards ceremony, tours, etc.
Reserve block of rooms at hotel
5 months before ...
o
o
Confirm reservations, entertainment (band, DJ, comedian, magician, face painting, etc.),
photographer, caterer and other activities
Choose menus for banquets, picnics, etc.
4-2 months before ...
o
o
o
o
Meet with hotel staff and visit facility with reunion committee to finalize details
Select decorations, signs banners and order printed items
Reserve rental equipment
Submit personalized souvenir order (t-shirts, mugs, caps, etc.)
6 weeks before ...
o
o
o
o
Complete directory/memory book; deliver to the printer
Write checklist for reunion tasks
Designate assignments for reunion volunteers
Recruit volunteers
2 weeks before ...
o
o
o
Purchase last minute decorations and incidental supplies
Reconfirm meeting, sleeping and eating accommodations
Review final checklist
The day before ...
o
o
o
Determine location staff contacts for your reunion
Solve last-minute problems
Review final details with reunion committee
Reunion day(s) ...
o
o
o
o
Set up registration tables, rental equipment, displays
Juggle details; volunteers, food, photographer, games, entertainment
Decorate
Enjoy
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Afterward ...
o
o
o
o
Reflect and evaluate — note what worked, what didn’t
Complete bookkeeping; settle accounts
Write thank you notes to volunteers, hotel staff, caterers
Start planning your next reunion
Wow! I know that seems like a lot, but with the right committee members and family support, it will be
a breeze—well, almost!
Tips for First-Timers
Most times, when people are planning a reunion for the first time, they are filled with questions—and
rightly so. Asking questions is a good way to assess the situation and prepare for what lies ahead. Here
are some things you should consider as you approach this process for the first time:
1. Get a handle of the basics at the beginning. Decide how often you want to have the reunion
(every year, every two years, etc.); consider whether you want to rotate from city to city where
family members live or just go anywhere you like; should it last for a day, weekend or a week?
2. Try to find out what family members want to do on the front end by sending out a survey. It will
give you an idea of what they expect and will help you avoid planning activities that no one likes.
3. Get help from your local Convention and Visitors Bureau. Many offer informative classes and
workshops with tons of resources for planning a reunion. The Reunions Magazine website has a
great list of workshops available by city.
4. Choose a hotel with lots of amenities, like free breakfast (attendees will appreciate it and it will
save money on the overall reunion dues), airport shuttle service, handicap accessibility, meeting
space, banquet facilities (if you’ll need that), and a complimentary hospitality suite for the meet
and greet.
5. Remember, you don’t have to go all out the first time around. Folks will enjoy the fellowship
more than anything. For the first family reunion, it’s often better to keep it simple. Plan a picnic
at a local park or have dinner at a nice restaurant.
Get the Word Out: Communication
is Key
When planning a family reunion, it’s important to keep the communication flowing…and flowing early!
Once you have secured the date, be sure to send a big announcement to get family members excited
about the upcoming reunion. This can be done as a “Save The Date” or a custom-themed mailer tailored
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to the city that is hosting the reunion or your
reunion theme. Just use whatever you think
your
fami
ly members will respond to best and get their
attention. Here are a few eye-catching
announcements to consider:
Subsequent correspondence should include more specifics about the hotel, travel information, reunion
fees and those all-important deadlines. In addition to sending a postcard or flyer, the information can
be printed on refrigerator magnets as a handy reunion reminder.
Consistent communication is also important. Reach out periodically with updates to keep the reunion
top of mind. You know what they say, “Out of sight, out of mind!” Emails, newsletters, calling posts,
etc. are all excellent ways to stay in touch. One family turned these periodic reminders into a special
project by sending out trivia about the family and the reunion site to keep relatives interested.
Veteran reunion planner Karen Luna Ray stresses the importance of grabbing their attention with the
initial invitation! “Remember what your mother told you about first impressions? It’s true. Invitations
are your best, sometimes first and only, chance to make a lasting impression. Your goal is for the
recipient to mark the date on his/her calendar immediately and return the confirmation ASAP,” she
advises.
With the widespread use of the Internet, people may wonder if regular mail is still used. Well the
answer is yes! Here’s why it is a good idea for family members to get one nice flyer or printed
communication:
It can be easily referred to and serves as a constant reminder on the desk, office wall,
refrigerator or wherever else they decide to place it.
Because people don’t get much printed mail these days, it automatically makes the invite more
special.
Printed information easily accommodates the elders of the family and those who may not be as
computer savvy. All the information is there for them to read and review, even without a
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computer. If your family has a lot of seniors, consider mailings and phone calls to stay in touch.
Playing Family Detective
Building a strong database of family names and address is most important when it comes to planning a
family reunion, but tracking down family members can be a lot of work. Many of us know of family
living out there somewhere, but we don’t know how they look, much less their mailing address or how
to get in touch with them. To track down distant relatives, start by asking those family members you
know for other kinfolk’s information that they may have but you don’t.
Start collecting and compiling names and addresses, and keep track of all your newly-found relatives in a
format that can be easily updated or all your efforts will be worthless. Computer programs, such as
Excel, Act, Access or other database programs specifically designed to organize and manage these
address, phone number, and/or name lists is the best way
to store information. However, if you need to go “old
school,” a file box with index cards works, as well. Just be
sure to maintain the integrity of your list and make updates
(wrong phone number, moved, etc.) as soon as you
discover any changes or incorrect information.
Compiling your family’s information is no small task, and
you don’t ever want to lose that valuable information.
Getting the list from the previous reunion will give you a
good jumpstart on the names and addresses, and then
passing it on to the next reunion committee will keep the
continuity and consistency going.
For more helpful information on tracking down relatives,
read this article from About.com that will assist you with
your people search online.
Documenting History
Tracking down your family members might just turn into a project to document your family’s history and
build a family tree. Tracing your family’s roots can be done on many popular websites, such as:
http://www.ancestry.com/
http://www.genealogybank.com/gbnk/
http://www.recordsbase.com/
http://www.myheritage.com/page/trace-family-tree
However, in most cases, you’ll have to do a little digging on your own. Such was the case for Michele
Noriega of Minnesota. She has spent about twenty-five years creating her family tree. She says, “I have
over 6,000 people included and have traced one family back 1,000 years.” Recently, she printed out the
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tree and placed it in a large binder, which is currently in circulation among family members. “It started
with me, then went to my oldest brother, then to another sister after that, etc. Right now a niece has it.
I created it in two formats, going from the present to the past and from the past forward. From the past
going forward, I chose the oldest ancestor and printed out a report of his/her descendants,” she says.
But more than that, she included their spouses and children, and their spouses and children, going back
several generations, which is particularly helpful if anyone in the family wants to find out how a certain
person is related. The document is indexed by name, allowing anyone to look up a particular person in
the index and go to the pages where the name is listed. Caught up in her family’s history, she also has
another book of just photos. Being the curator of the family history and photos, she has made attempts
to gather or personally take pictures of the farms the family lived on, their headstones and cemeteries in
which they can be found along with longitude and latitude information, which is especially helpful for
small, country, private family cemeteries. Keeping up with technology, the information has since been
uploaded to a private family tree website so that anyone in the family can do research. Michelle proudly
shares that “The entire family tree is there and all the photos that I have scanned so far. With so many
of us getting older, it has become popular for the family reunions to be filmed and made available to
anyone who requests a copy. Also, for relatives who had no children, I have tried to gather their
personal effects so that someone will keep care of their photos and private papers, etc.”
You might ask yourself, “Where in the world does she store all of this valuable information?” She has a
closet filled with storage tubs of pictures, documents, private papers, and various memorabilia. One tip
that she offers to others documenting their family history is to periodically put out a call on various
genealogy websites so that if anyone searches in your family name, they can find a message inviting
them to email or get in touch.
While everyone may not be able to document their family’s history to this extent, just listening to her
journey through her family’s history should inspire you to start exploring and preserving whatever
history is uncovered.
How to Choose a Reunion Theme
One of the first things the planning committee will need to do is to select a theme for the reunion. It
will be the guiding force that helps keep you on track throughout the planning process and hone in your
creative ideas. In most cases, the location will automatically set the reunion theme. For example, if
you’re having it in the mountains, an outdoorsy theme will be perfect, such as “Back To Our Roots.”
Planning a reunion in Colorado would automatically lend itself to a Western theme. However, location
is not the only determining factor when it comes to choosing a theme for your reunion. Many themes
are centered around family history or the family’s heritage. But that doesn’t mean that the theme or
reunion has to be serious and boring. Reunions typically take on the personality of the family or the
host, whether that is something serious, fun, sophisticated or adventurous. As long as it can involve
everyone and make them feel apart, the reunion theme will do a lot to energize family members.
Once you’ve decided on the general direction you’d like to go, pick a catch phrase that embodies the
theme and carry it out in the activities, foods, decorations, shirts, souvenirs, and activities. Some
creative family reunion themes include:
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Home for the Holidays: Not geared
toward one particular holiday, this
theme celebrates them all! How
many times have you said,
“Wouldn’t it be great to celebrate
Christmas with the family?” Well,
with this reunion theme, you can—
even in the middle of July! It’s a
wonderful opportunity to celebrate
every holiday during the reunion.
Go trick or treating to family hotel
rooms. Have a surprise Easter egg
hunt for the kids. Decorate a family
Christmas tree and have everyone
bring an ornament. You can even
enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with
turkey and all the trimmings.
A Family of Survivors: For those families who like to get down and dirty outside, create a reunion filled
with one challenge after another like the popular television show, “Survivors.” But in this case, no one
gets voted off! Include scavenger hunts, water sports, agility exercises, etc. Go ahead and have some
adventurous fun.
Celebrate your Heritage: If your family hales from a
different country outside of the US, “travel” there at the
reunion by including activities from that part of the
world. A medieval theme would be perfect for British or
Scottish families. Or, how about a unique way to tell
your family’s history? Family history doesn’t have to be
boring, you know! It can be done in the form of a skit, a
musical or anything else you like. I am told of one family
that created an “airplane” for family members to board
and travel to the “reunion.” Unfortunately, in the skit,
the plane crashed and they all went to heaven and met
ancestors who told them all about their lives. You see, it
doesn’t really matter how you present it, just have fun
with it.
Live and Learn: This theme is a great way to bring the generations together so they can learn from each
other. You may think that a pre-teen has nothing in common with a grandmother and neither of them
would be interested in each other’s worlds. But, in actuality, both groups have so much information to
share. Why not put it to good use? Create an opportunity for them to learn from each other. Older
ones can teach younger ones how to sew, cook or actually write a complete sentence without text
acronyms. Younger ones can teach the older ones how to text or how to use a cell phone or computer.
When you think about it, there are plenty of things that can be learned from each group, and it makes
for some meaningful reunion memories.
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When it comes to choosing a theme, the key to finding the right one for your reunion is to consider your
relatives (personalities, ages, interests, etc.) and choose a unifying theme that will encourage everyone
to get involved and participate.
Setting the date
While most people think of summer as the ideal time to hold family reunions, don’t limit yourself to just
that time of year. Sure, it’s good to have warm weather for swimming, water-skiing, hiking, camping,
playing outdoor games, and so on, but there are plenty of other activities that don’t need the summer’s
warmth at all…say snow skiing, for example.
Long weekends during other parts of the year can also be a good time for a family get-together. Plan
your event around Grandma’s birthday, a fiftieth wedding anniversary, or some other important
milestone taking place in your family. Such was the case for Michelle Deite, owner of Infinite
Ensembles in Sudbury, MA. She took the opportunity to transform her father’s 70th birthday celebration
into a family reunion. She says, “My father knows everything, so it was challenging to keep this as a
surprise. We decided to go to NH (close to Storyland) and rented four townhouse units all in a row at
The Red Jacket Inn. It was perfect! Everyone could
have their own space and not interfere with
everyone else. My father knew we were going
away but had no idea that ALL of us would be
meeting him there. Once we settled in, I had
gotten everyone t-shirts that said ‘Papa's Posse
2010.’ There were some big surprises for my dad.
My mother got him inside his townhouse to get
dressed and when he came outside to leave for a
restaurant, he not only saw his 5 children, but his
9 grandchildren and best of all...his brother, who
was flown in as a huge surprise from Florida. Once
dinner was over, I surprised him once more with a
photo video I had made set to music with the help
of my husband. No dry eyes in the house.” She adds that it was overwhelming for all of them to be
together and not only “surprise a man who is impossible to surprise but also to give a person who has
everything...that one priceless gift.”
When considering a date for the reunion, consider the family structure and whom you think might
attend. Here are a few suggestions:
Lots of children? Summer break works great.
Busy professionals? Take an existing holiday weekend since they’ll be off work anyway.
Seniors and older adults? Consider fall or spring when it’s not too hot outside for them to enjoy
the festivities.
Most people live in the area of the reunion? Just about any time will work.
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Choosing a reunion date is just as important as choosing the location. Don’t take too long deciding.
Remember, you can’t please everyone, so the earlier you decide and advertise the date the better, so
that everyone has an opportunity to attend.
Handling Registration
A well-planned reunion gives the attendees plenty of time to register. During that time, payments will
trickle in from all across the country. Because attendees typically have up to a year to register, be sure
to have a responsible, honest, organized person in charge of receiving registrations to keep everything in
order, providing receipts for all full and partial payments that arrive in the mail.
For as long as there have been reunions, this has been the process. However, you don’t have to handle
registration the same way our forefathers did. Step it up and take the registration process into the new
millennium by allowing your family members to register online.
Gone are the days when you need to send out a letter and hope and pray that somebody mails you a
check. Set up an account with an event planning site, like EventBrite.com or MyEvent.com, instead.
Event planners and guests register through these types of websites for all sorts of things; why not
reunions? Many of these sites allow you to create a custom registration web page specifically for your
reunion to include all of the event details. With just one click of a button, attendees can register and
submit payment. Online registration is a very convenient way to keep track of payments, and it also
increases participation in most cases because family members can charge it to a credit card and don’t
have to actually “have the funds available” at the time they register. Of course, these sites assess a
small fee for each transaction, but it could be worth it in terms of collecting funds immediately, boosting
attendance and saving on postage. Granted, everyone will not want to register online, but it’s nice to
present the option.
Choosing a Location
The possibilities are endless when it comes to choosing a location for your reunion. You can have it in
your hometown, somewhere in the US, a destination outside of the country, on a cruise or in the
mountains. The choices are out there. So how do you narrow them down? The best way is to consider
the amount you feel your family members can afford to pay, the personality/interests of your family and
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the time of year you’re having the reunion. With that said, here are some tried-and-true ideas, as well
as some locations you may not have thought of to consider:
-
-
-
-
Family Member City: This is probably the most common choice for a location. Those who live
in the city automatically become the host committee. Visiting a city where one or some of your
family members live will help make the planning a lot easier since they can coordinate
everything on site.
Amusement Parks: Popular amusement parks, like Disney World, make a fun family reunion
destination and turn it into a family vacation. Families visit amusement parks every day and
take advantage of group rates, special packages and other perks. You’re just cranking up the
numbers a bit. Instead of a family of four, just tell them to put you down for a family of 40, or
even 400!
Cruise: Set sail on the high seas for your reunion as a unique family adventure. The planning is
almost a cinch because there are tons of activities on the ship that can be incorporated in your
reunion—from movies and board games to rock climbing and swimming. It’s a particularly
attractive option for reunions that have exhausted other “family host” cities, are looking to
make a big splash or just want to do something different.
Campgrounds: If your family is totally into the great outdoors, let that be your destination.
Whether you’re fishing, hiking, camping or
just hanging out under the stars,
campgrounds are a natural choice. Just
ask Marci Seither, whose family has been
having their reunion in the same spot,
Union Valley, for over 40 years! Because it
lasts for several weeks, they’ve turned
their reunion into a summer vacation.
Here’s a glimpse into their reunion and
what makes it special. Now an adult, she
says, “I have pictures of my cousin and I in
baby booster chairs in front of the lake.
My grandpa wanted to find a perfect
camping place where they could all gather with their families so they began looking...and
looking until they came across Union Valley. It was perfect for fishing, skiing, boating and
swimming. The only thing missing was a sandy beach. My grandpa found a cove that was
covered in granite rocks. One by one, he began to toss them aside. Finally, he cleared off enough
to put up a shade tent. Every year we throw rocks, and
now the beach is a long stretch of sand where we all
pitch shade tents and set up ladder ball towers.
There are about 40-60 people who make the annual trip
and stay for 1 to 2 weeks. We have crazy hat contests,
taco night and homemade ice cream socials. I remember
watching my grandpa play horseshoes and teaching us
kids how to throw a ringer. Most importantly, we always
remember to tell our kids about camping when we were
kids. It is our favorite part of the summer. Cousins,
grandparents, and siblings all together for a few weeks,
making memories that last a lifetime.” Now, there’s a
reason to go camping!
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Home Sweet Home: Perfect for small or first reunions, you may discover that the perfect spot is
right under your nose…or in your own backyard. Host a barbecue, plan some games and just get
the family together for some homemade fun. If you happen to have a swimming pool, that’s
even better. Look at the benefits of your backyard: you don’t have to make reservations, you
can set up any time you like, there’s no cost for rental, there’s easy access to the kitchen and
bathroom facilities, and if you forget something, you can just walk into your house and get it.
Enough said.
Picnic in the Park: Affordable and accessible, many families find that city and state parks offer
built-in amenities at a nominal fee. Parks can accommodate large crowds, typically have
playground equipment, there’s plenty of space for games, and easy access to water and
restroom facilities is a given. Many local parks are beautifully landscaped with flowers and
plants and have monuments that are perfect for picture-taking, petting zoos, and other various
amenities.
The Old Homestead: Gathering at the
family homestead is a tradition of many
reunions, and it might be the right choice
for you. If your family has a keen interest
in family history, ancestry and genealogy,
you could explore your roots by visiting the
farm where your great-great grandparents
lived, see the cemetery where they were
buried, and extend your genealogical
research by visiting the county courthouse
or local library on a fact-finding mission.
These are only a few of the options when it comes to choosing a unique location, destination or venue
for your reunion. However, this is not an exhaustive list, by any means. Lisa Morris, President, Road
Concierge Inc. and Group Hotel Bid also suggests www.uniquevenues.com to find unique places to hold
events and be inspired by unique theme ideas. Once you’ve decided on a destination, selecting a hotel
should be your top priority. A useful tool to help in the bidding process is GroupHotel Bid.com. By
sending your information to dozens of top hotels, this website can save you the legwork of comparing
rates. Additionally, because they only work with groups, their event planning expertise is a bonus! One
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other perk is that they will create a custom website for your event for free to keep attendees abreast of
all the details.
Activities
By now, you’re probably asking, “Now that we’ve gotten all of these people together, what in the world
are we going to do with them?” Well, plenty! The great thing about planning a family reunion is that
you can do exactly what you want to do. Feel free to be conservative or creative. To help you in that
quest, here are a few suggestions for activities.
Themed Banquets:
When my family’s reunion was held in Denver, Colorado, we had a cowboy-themed banquet. Everyone
wore blue jeans and cowboy hats and dined on barbecue. We gave prizes for the best Western outfit
and even taught everyone a boot scootin’ line dance for a fun activity/entertainment. It was a hoot! It
was a great way to use the feel of the city as our guide. Other ideas for banquet activities include:
o Fashion Shows
o Silly Hat Parades
o Family Awards
o Talent Showcase
o Plays/Skits
o Family Tree Presentation
o Video Presentations
o Fireworks
o Tribute to Ancestors
o Create/Sing Family Theme Song
Crazy Contests:
Forget about who’s traveled the farthest. Pick something fun or particularly unique/unusual for the
family, and turn it into a crazy contest. If your family has any fascinating abilities, like being able to spit
long distances, yodel or any other quirky thing that would be an absolute hoot to judge, that’s great
ammunition for a contest. Patricia Webster Stewart turned her family’s unique “gift” of long toes into a
contest. Known for having “toes as long as fingers,” she invited everyone to take off a shoe to discover
who would be crowned King of Toes. Thinking it would be her father, who wore a size 13 shoe, it
actually turned out to be her Uncle Tom. She says, “He won that first contest, toes down, two and a half
inches long.”
Tour of the City:
Chances are most family members would be visiting the host city for the first
time. What a great reason to show off the best the city has to offer. Every city
has historic venues, kid’s attractions, points of interest and other places that
would be interesting to a newcomer. Include places that highlight your family’s
history, like a tour of homes for your ancestors, schools they may have attended,
etc. Charter a tour company to handle the details for you or rent a bus and do it
yourself. Either way, it’s guaranteed to be a fun and interesting time. Don’t forget to plan trivia games
and prizes while on the bus as you’re traveling through your town.
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Worship Service:
Gathering together for worship is a popular activity for reunions. Most families have a church or
synagogue that is dear to the family—whether it was the place where Grandpa Joe attended or where
several family members choose to worship. Having grown up in the same church that my parents met
in, the location for our worship service is pretty obvious. But, you don’t have to go to a church to have a
worship service. A worship service can be held anywhere. Ask the hotel if a meeting room can be used
for the service. There’s typically at least one minister, rabbi or priest in every family, and I’m sure they
would love the honor of providing the message for your family’s service.
Mixers/Get To Know You Ideas:
This is great for the first day of the reunion. Family members
are arriving at different times, so a casual place for them to
hang out no matter what time they get there is a must.
There’s no need to plan a lot of activities here, just give the
family a chance to reconnect. Check with the host hotel for a
meeting room or plan to gather around the pool and provide
some snacks or gather at someone’s home. Display family
memorabilia (i.e. a family quilt, photo albums, etc.) as
conversation starters, pull out the board games and just let
people mix and mingle on their own. For more organized
activities that can be done anytime, try a little family trivia or create a coloring book for the kids. If a
good number of your family members are arriving early, plan a casual outing as a way to bond. There’s
nothing like a little family competition at the bowling alley or skating rink to help everyone reconnect.
The good folks at ReunionsMag.com suggest these fun ways to break the ice:
Icebreakers are essential at many reunions. These ideas may inspire you to develop new ways to
become re-acquainted.
This Is Our Life. Ask each family for photos of their home, yard, activities, sports, hobbies
and pets for a display. Then, at the reunion ask kids to explain the pictures.
Display genealogy. Family photos and special remembrances will quickly get members
remembering and mingling.
Baby pictures. Place photos around the room and have guests try to guess who is who.
Marvel at family resemblances.
Word-find puzzle. Using all the cousins, aunts and various kinfolks’ names, create a word
find puzzle that will entertain family members of all ages.
Guess the numbers. Fill a fishbowl with peanuts or candies, and let everyone guess how
many the bowl contains.
Twenty questions. Give everyone a get-acquainted list of questions. Examples: Find
someone who sings in the shower … who’s left-handed … who plants tomatoes in the garden
… who served in Vietnam. By the time they answer all the questions, they would have gotten
to know everyone in the room.
Ancestor Search. Each parent/child team receives a list of ancestors and has 15 minutes to
collect signatures from those ancestors’ descendants. Winners are those who gather the
most correct signatures.
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Of course, you’ll discover plenty of
other ideas with a quick surf of the
Internet.
Group Excursions by Age:
The great thing about reunions is
that the generations get to come
together, but that’s also the
challenge when it comes to
planning activities. Finding
something that a 6-year-old kid and
an 85-year-old grandmother would
enjoy can be difficult. Some
families have found it beneficial to
plan a mixture of group activities
(picnics, tours, banquet, etc.) that
everyone would enjoy and add in a
few side excursions by age group or
interest to keep everyone happy. If
you know you have some healthconscious cousins, plan an early
morning walk. Shopping trips work
well for the ladies, and a few hours at
an amusement park will help keep the
little ones from getting bored. No
matter what you do, be sure to
include activities for all age ranges.
Establishing a Memorial:
Leaving a legacy for years to come, establishing a family memorial commemorates the reunion in a
meaningful way. In her book Rituals & Celebrations, well-known author and chef B. Smith suggests
taking a portion of the fundraising efforts and “use the proceeds to purchase something in the family
name — plant a tree marked with a plaque, donate a brick to a local college, purchase a seat in the
concert hall or community theater, give books with nameplates to a church or school, or make a gift to
charity.” You could even go so far as to have a street named in the family’s honor like the Scruggs
Family of Atlanta, Georgia. With the matriarch of the family being 80 years old and the oldest resident
in the neighborhood, the city granted their request to have the street where their main family’s house is
located named after them.
With remaining funds from their reunion account, the Busse Family Reunion chose to replace the badly
worn marble cemetery monument and erect a new granite one for family matriarchs Friedrich and
Johanna. They were able to capture the design of the original monument and even gave it an upgrade.
A section of the marker that they could not read now says: “To the memory of Friedrich and Johanna
Busse who came to America in 1848. Dedicated by their 7,000 descendants in honor of 150 years in
America. June 28, 1998. We will give thanks to you forever; from generation to generation we will
recount your blessings!” Psalms, 79:13. As you can see, there are plenty of possibilities. Just find
something that symbolizes for your family’s heritage or interests.
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Be creative! There’s really no limit to the types of activities you can have at your reunion. You can
incorporate a baby’s christening and even a wedding! Take advantage of the fact that all the family is
gathered together anyway and celebrate any special occasion that you would like.
But depending on the family, you might discover that you don’t need any activities at all. For the Ives
Family Reunion, family members cherish the kinship and connection to their past over fancy activities
and themed parties. According to Dan Curran, the Ives family is celebrating its 80th annual reunion by
doing just that. “We do not take exotic trips or deck ourselves out in period garb. Instead, we use this as
a chance to once again travel back to the Adirondacks knowing that, by being there, we are most likely
walking the same farmlands or driving the same roads that the original family used to bring their
vegetables to market or ride to church. We have had reunions on the site of the family’s original
homestead. We have conducted cemetery tours to tend to markers of those who have gone on. We
have swum in the same river that my grand-mother swam in when she was a child. We have worshipped
at the same United Methodist church, and sat in the same family pew, that was the center of their
lives,” he says. The best advice is to find what works best for your family.
Souvenirs and Gifts
A memento of the reunion can bring back fond memories years after the event. Whether you opt for
something practical, like pens, tote bags, paperweights, sports bottles, cups, etc., or something more
unique, like personalized cowboy hats, finding the right souvenir for your family will largely depend on
the budget, theme of the reunion, and the ages of the attendees. Here are a few suggestions:
T-Shirts
This is probably the most popular of all the reunion gifts. Everybody can use another t-shirt, not matter
how many you have, and it’s also a low-cost, useful reminder of the reunion. One family I know of may
disagree with that, however, because they use the same shirts year after year. The family colors always
remain the same (red and white in this case), and there’s no date on them. So after the first 4-5
reunions, they decided they had had enough shirts and decided that any previous year’s shirt could be
worn at future reunions. It’s a great way to get some use out of those old shirts and save on some of
the reunion costs. But most families commemorate the reunion each year with a different shirt with a
different color scheme. Some even use the shirts to help easily identify family lineage. In the picture
below, family members wore color-coded shirts that represented each part of the family line or each
generation. While they all have the same design, it makes it a whole lot easier to see who is a
descendent of whom.
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Welcome Bags
Placing a gift bag in the hotel room or distributing them at the Friday night mixer is a great way to
welcome guests to the reunion. They’ll feel at home right from the start, and it helps set the tone for
the reunion. Giving them all the information they need for the weekend, reunion welcome bags often
include:
o Itinerary
o Maps
o Snacks
o Reunion Souvenirs
o Welcome letter from the host family
o An item that embodies the reunion theme
o Coupons and brochures from area attractions and restaurants
o Family directory with a list of addresses, phone numbers and birthdays
o Memorabilia (i.e., a copy of the family tree)
o Games and/or toys for the kids
Consider the container. While paper gift totes are the most economical way to package these items,
providing the contents in a personalized tote bag also gives them a useful souvenir that can be used
throughout the weekend and beyond. Also, ask local businesses for promotional items they may want
to include. Free pens, mugs, chip clips, and a host of other items might be included as free advertising
for the company and free stuff for your family.
Table favors
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Whether incorporated as a part of the décor or as a fun way to accent the theme of the reunion, table
favors add an unexpected spark to the table. Welcoming guests to the table with a distinctive look, a
variety of items can be used as table favors for the banquet.
Place card holders will direct them to their seat and make sure that the family members are
properly dispersed and don’t just sit with their immediate family. Best of all, they are available
in plenty of designs that allow you to complement the theme of the reunion or location. These
street lamp place card holders would be perfect for a reunion in New Orleans, and the Western
boots would be ideal for a boot scootin’ reunion in Texas.
Regional foods are a delightful treat on the table. A wonderful way to give your table a little
local flair, mini jars of honey for the bee hive state of Utah, peanuts for Georgia, apples for New
York, syrup for Vermont, barbecue sauce for Missouri, and the list goes on. Every state has a
state food, flower or theme that can be incorporated into the table favors.
Personalized gifts can also be distributed at the dinner table. If you haven’t already given them
out, putting one at each place setting makes the table even more special. Coasters with your
reunion information inside the “frame”, glasses etched with your reunion logo filled with candy,
paperweights, mugs and keepsake boxes are some examples of small gifts that can be placed on
the table.
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Keepsakes
From a souvenir paperweight to custom cowboy hats, you can make just about anything a family
reunion keepsake just by personalizing it with your family information or pictures. Popular keepsakes
include family quilts, engraved paperweights, framed portraits and even personalized pillows as “a soft
remembrance of the ones you love.” That’s how Keepsake Pillows by aliz describes their personalized
keepsake pillows. Each one made by hand, they allow you to include as many photos as you would like,
poems and messages on a one-of-a-kind pillow that can be given to family members or sold as a
fundraiser. Perfect for presenting to the great-grandparents who started it all or including a group
family picture that everyone could have as a souvenir, they are a unique keepsake from your reunion.
Avoiding the Planning Pitfalls
Tips from the Planners
There’s nothing like learning from someone else’s mistakes (I mean, really, do you have to make them
all yourself?) So, we sat down with some veteran reunion planners to get their top tips and suggestions
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on what worked, what didn’t and what they’d do differently if they ever decided to step up to the plate
again to plan a reunion. Here’s what they said:
Lisa Makosewski of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania says that there are a few things she would do differently
for the next McLaughlin Family Reunion, such as:
Have a formal agenda for the day. "We had a magician and arts and crafts for the children, but
without announced times, we had to keep rounding them up for these events.”
I would have a separate "check in" table where people pick up their name badges."
These are what Makosewski describes as her winning ideas:
Badges with really big print got an excellent response! She says, “You didn't have to be on top of
someone to read the name!”
Reunion hostesses arranged a parking shuttle to remote parking areas; “It was a godsend,” she
adds.
They also rented a portable latrine to help ease bathroom facilities. She was surprised at how
much it helped, and states that “with 200 people there, it was well used."
Daniel Ives Curran of Curran Public Relations and the Ives Family Reunion, which is in its 80th year, says,
“My #1 tip for the family considering a reunion would be to create a Facebook page. It was through our
Facebook page that we were able to connect with almost all of the Ives descendants. We have posted
photos from the first reunion 80 years ago, photos from subsequent reunions (that might as well be
blackmail, especially the ones from the 1970s and 1980s), profiles of each of the original 10 children,
stories about Ai & Bertha’s parents, extensive genealogy resources, family recipes and so much more.”
Sasha Walters, Waco, TX, of the Cotten Family Reunion makes these suggestions:
Take time to enjoy the reunion. She says, “Due to my great desire to organize everything down
to the final detail and oversee the process the entire reunion weekend, I didn’t take time to
enjoy the previous reunions myself. But, I finally let go of some of the details, and actually sat
down and visited and played games at the last reunion, which I thoroughly enjoyed.”
Set up an Excel spreadsheet with all the attendees, registration, financial, lodging and many
other details on one chart, which can be customized for each reunion.
When Joan Curtis Waters was asked about the Curtis-Butler Family Reunion, she says the thing she
didn’t realize on the front end that she discovered at the end of the planning process was “probably
how much work and time it takes to plan a reunion.” With that said, her advice is “Don’t do it alone or
be afraid to ask for help from family members.” Check out their family reunion website for more ideas
and inspiration at www.curtis-butlerfamily.com
Financing the Fun
How To Pay For The Reunion
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Unlike other events and gatherings, when it comes to family reunions,
guests pay to party. Bearing the expenses of the reunion and
incidentals, it’s a given—family reunions can be expensive. A sort of
mini vacation for family members, they’ll incur some of the same
expenses they would if they were traveling for business or pleasure.
The cost of airfare, hotel, food, airport shuttles, and the reunion
activities themselves can quickly number into the hundreds per
person. Typically, the total cost is spread among all those attending,
with a lesser rate being given to those 12 and under. A very simple
reunion like the one on my father’s side of the family, which consists of
a one-day picnic and activities at a state park, will cost around $25 per
family plus transportation and souvenirs. However, a three day
celebration, like the one on my mother’s side of the family with city
tours, banquets, outings and souvenirs, can cost around $100 per
person, not including airfare and hotel.
Family members can expect to pay a reunion fee to cover the activities, food, souvenirs, etc. and take
care of the hotel and travel expenses on their own. Needless to say, it can get quite costly depending on
how far they have to fly, the choice of hotel, the number of activities, and so on. However, there are a
few ways to help defray some of those costs:
Collect family dues throughout the year
Many families find that, by assessing dues, each person can pay a small amount each month that can go
towards the general fund (to handle deposits,
mailings and other expenses), family fundraisers or
be applied to that person’s reunion assessment. Just
think, paying as little as $5 per month may actually
cover the costs of the reunion fees altogether.
Have family fundraisers
Coming together for a common goal, family
fundraisers are a great way to build unity, raise
money and have a unique family bonding
experience. While there are plenty of methods
available to raise the much-needed capital, try to
focus on projects that will get the most result with
the least amount of effort. Consider activities that
everyone can participate in and enjoy doing that sort
of “sell themselves.” Linda Lapinski, Ingleside, Illinois, has a few ideas on raising funds for reunions:
Have a garage/yard sale
Add baked goods to that sale and watch the money pour in!
Encourage family members to keep all their loose change for the next nine months, and then
cash it in!
Sponsor your own walk-a-thon. Solicit donations for each mile you walk, run, bike, whatever!
Are you crafty? Enter a local craft show and donate half your proceeds.
Are you a business owner? Make a donation and get a Tax Deduction!
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Contact local businesses or business owners within your family to donate products or services
for a silent auction.
Hold a baseball tournament in your community, at your local park. Charge a small admission fee
(make sure you state what it’s for!), sell hot dogs and soda for a great family fun day!
Organize a fashion show, progressive meal or casino night in your neighborhood. Charge
admission, get donations for food, drinks, etc., and the proceeds go to the reunion fund!
Do you play bridge or bunco on a regular basis? Ask your group to donate their winnings a time
or two.
Hold a neighborhood car wash.
Write a check!
Have your own church service at the hotel
While most will not look at this as a fundraising idea, it actually is one very good one in disguise. Carol
Wright of the Dekalb County Convention and Visitors Bureau near Atlanta, Georgia suggests having
church service away from a particular church (at the hotel, for example.) There’s a preacher in every
family who can officiate the service, and the offering collected can be used as seed money for the next
year or for a scholarship fund for the kids.
Sell Reunion Souvenirs
Souvenirs—everybody wants them! So why not use the whole supply-and-demand theory to your
advantage? To commemorate the annual event, souvenirs are sure to be a hot commodity. By
purchasing items wholesale or discounted as much as possible, a few bucks can be added to the amount
that was paid so that the family turns a profit. T-Shirts are the easiest way to do this. Many companies
offer reunion shirts for $5.00 each (and even less.) Selling the shirts for $10, which is still very
reasonable, doubles the money invested. This fundraiser idea is a no-brainer!
Get sponsors
In exchange for a little free advertising, companies may be willing to donate items for your reunion.
Depending on the number of guests (or the audience they would be able to market their products to),
they’d be willing to donate or cover the cost of items at your reunion, much like couples were getting
their weddings sponsored a few years back. If you’re diligent and creative, you could walk away with
items for your welcome bags, food for the meet-and-greet session, souvenirs and more.
If you’re like most, you’ll find that it will take several fundraising projects to reach the family’s goal.
Diane Bowling, coordinator of the Clifford and Avie McWhirter Family Reunions in Gallatin, TN, found
that doing a variety of fundraisers worked well for their family. She says, “Last year, I got a local
merchant to donate a few items (coffee maker, Panini maker and a huge scrapbooking kit) and sold
raffle tickets for the items. Then, we asked family members to bring a useful item from home for a
white elephant sale/auction. Our final fundraiser was selling 50/50 tickets where we split the pot with
the winner. All the proceeds from these things went into our reunion fund.”
Tips for Collecting the Money
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In addition to the great fundraising ideas mentioned above, here are some additional tips to
help manage the money.
Start well in advance (for more expensive reunions, it’s a good idea to start collecting funds and
having fundraisers 1-2 years ahead)
Have a skilled, honest and conscientious treasurer
Set realistic deadlines and stick to them
Avoid using your personal money to upfront, expecting to get it back down the line. That
typically never happens and you’ll find yourself financing the reunion yourself
Determine your budget up front and cushion it for those unexpected expenses that always seem
to pop up
Beyond The Reunion: How Reunions
Give Back
Instead of just gathering together for fun, why not let your reunion do some good?! Many families don’t
think about harnessing all of that family bonding and togetherness into some wonderful family
philanthropic projects, but it’s actually a great way to leave a lasting impression on the world around
you and teach children the importance of giving back. Some suggestions include:
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Family scholarship for relatives going to college
Surplus funds can be donated to a local charity in the grandparent’s names
Extra food can be donated to a local shelter
Fix up the family homestead as one of the activities
Volunteer at a shelter or event during the reunion
Adding a charitable project to your reunion activities is just another way to leave a legacy for your
family. A great resource for ideas on giving back can be found at the Family Reunion Institute at Temple
University. The pamphlet African American Family Reunions and Philanthropy explains the purpose of
reunions and suggests philanthropic activities that can be included in the festivities. Although the
information is geared toward African-American families, it is universal and can be applied to any family.
Closing out the Reunion
You may be down to the last day of the reunion and feel that you’re home free, but there are a few
housekeeping things that still need to be done to close out the reunion.
Take a family photo: Typically the family photo is taken on the last day because family members are
usually dressed up for church, and it makes a nice photo op. But, you can also have fun with the photo,
as well. B. Smith says, “One family I know has created a ritual around the annual reunion photo, with
everyone posing in a pyramid organized by weight. The heaviest persons stand at the bottom; the
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lightest perch on top. It's funny to look back at the pictures over the years and see various family
members ‘dropping down.’”
Have a family meeting: Before everyone leaves, there is still some important business to take care of.
Holding a family meeting gives family an opportunity to evaluate the reunion activities overall, vote on
when and where to have the next reunion, and decide who will be in charge. Hopefully, since family
members have just had a great time at the reunion, it won’t be difficult to get someone to step up.
Keep it brief and informal, but it’s important to get feedback from everyone on what worked and what
didn’t, which will be helpful to the next reunion planning committee. Use a simple survey or rating
system from 1-5, for example, and leave room for comments. Discussing ways that everyone can stay in
touch between reunions via email, family newsletters, smaller get-togethers on a regular basis, etc. can
also keep the momentum going until the next gathering.
Before checking out: Be sure that everything is in order before you leave the hotel. Return borrowed
equipment, and make sure that no personal items are left behind. In preparation for the next reunion,
try to collect all the information you can about the number of rooms used by your group and the
number of meals served to your group by the hotel’s restaurant, room service or catering. Many
organizers forget this all-important step, but it helps demonstrate the economic impact of your reunion
and will be invaluable when negotiations start for your next reunion. Tip any hotel staff that went above
and beyond to accommodate your family, and write a letter to the hotel’s management to recognize
employees — by name — who did an outstanding job.
Write thank you notes: You may be the host, but we all know that it takes everyone to make a reunion
a success. As a thoughtful way to close out the reunion, send out a thank-you letter to each family,
thanking them for their support and hard work.
Family Reunion This Way!
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Reunions can be a wonderful part of your family’s fabric of life, giving you a chance to reconnect, learn,
grow and bond. With so many options available, from location to activities, there really is no right or
wrong way to have a reunion. But, armed with this information, you’ll be ready to plan the best reunion
yet—whether it’s your first or your 50th.
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